#unless it gets better but he’s already exceed the time he was suppose to be with us by months almost a year

[yoohyeontual]

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[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Amplification: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: A deadly spread of Anthrax is going around infecting and killing people. One of your own is affected that completely tears your world into two. How will you over come this?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"Reid, what do you see in there?"

"I see cages filled with dead animals and signs of a struggle, probably before Dr. Nichols was murdered. There's a large desk with clutter all over the surface, but in the corner is a smaller desk. It's organized and functional."

"Two different workspaces?" Derek asks.

"I found a notebook with two sets of handwriting. I'm looking at instructions on how to boil lab-grade broth, sterilize lab equipment, and transfer spores. Nichols would know all that. He has a partner, maybe even a protege. Go back to the BAU and try to figure out who this partner is."

Derek looks over at you to see you with your hand on your chest. It hurts so fucking much right now.

"Hotch, why don't you go? We'll stay with Reid."

"Funnel all the information you get to me."

You look at the large shed and see Spencer walking inside through the windows. You place your thumb nail inside your mouth and begin nervously chewing on it. For a split second, you imagine what your life would be like without Spencer in it. How broken you'd be not seeing his face every day, not being able to feel his touch or lips, and not hearing his voice. Pain immediately spreads over your chest as black spots appear in your vision. It's getting hard to breathe at this point, and you bend over so that your head is by your knees.

"I can't do this, Derek," you panic. Dr. Linda arrives and puts on a suit to go inside to help Spencer. "Can't I do that? Can't I put a suit on?"

"No, you can't."

"Damn it!" you scream.

You take a deep breath to calm yourself but the pain in your chest is still there. Penelope calls Derek and Spencer at the same time so that they can talk to each other on the phone. He puts them both on speakerphone so you can hear the conversation.

"How's it going in there, kid?"

"I've seen better days."

"You got me, Y/N, and Garcia."

"Hey, Reid," Penelope says sadly.

"Can I talk to him?" you ask. Derek hands you the phone and you put it off speakerphone. You don't care if Penelope is on the other line. "I told you not to do something stupid."

"Well, if I die, you'd still be able to feel me," he tries to joke.

"This isn't funny," you sob. "If you die, I may as well be dead, too."

"Y/N..."

"You can't die. We're supposed to get married. I'm supposed to have your kids. We're supposed to grow old together. You can't leave me. I'm not ready. Please don't leave me," you sob.

Hearing you say that breaks his heart. Derek gently takes the phone from you so he can have a turn at speaking to Spencer. Penelope is crying from your words but she is silent as well.

"Derek, do me a favor," Spencer sniffles.

"Anything, kid."

"If I die, please take care of her. She's gonna need someone."

"Yeah, I promise." Derek places Spencer back on speakerphone. "Listen, Prentiss and Rossi don't think the partner was a coworker. Can you tell us anything else about him?"

"I've already been through everything."

"Come on, now, kid. I know you're not thinking straight, but the Reid I know wouldn't stop looking."

"Alright, alright." He coughs twice and two more tears roll down your cheeks. "I see a framed photograph of Dr. Nichols teaching. I see a... I see a binder with syllabi. It's for course assignments going all the way back to the 1970s."

"He kept a scrapbook of himself as a professor. That tells us that he values himself as an educator."

"A teacher," Spencer corrects. "I saw something earlier. I didn't--I didn't make a connection to it or to the partner, but he has a study on Anthrax. He has an annotated bibliography and a table of contents. It's formatted like a thesis and has writing in the margins in red ink like the way a teacher grades a paper. Now, Nichols wouldn't have let just anyone in here, but he may have opened his lab for educational purposes as a teacher."

"The partner must have appealed to him as a student."

"I can look up local Ph.D. students," Penelope says.

"Check for students in science like biochemistry and microbiology."

"Okay, I'm cross-checking with names of former employees or customers with grievances at the bookstore. Nothing, my doves."

"Listen to this. I have the partner's journal," Spencer coughs some more. "This country is woefully unprepared. Every household should have a two-month supply of Cipro. Hospitals are in need of bio-safety decontamination capabilities."

"That's verbatim to what we heard from Nichols. The partner has adopted Nichols' views as his own."

"The chapters are on setting up triage and mobile emergency rooms. I don't think this paper was written by a science student. It's about city preparedness and response."

"Garica, check with students in Social Studies like public policy and urban planning."

"I got a hit. I have Chad Brown, School of Public Policy at U of M. It matches Chad Brown who was a former employee at the bookstore."

"That's gotta be him."

"Totally. He's been in the doctoral program on and off for five years. He was slapped with a restraining order from his former girlfriend and has been arrested and released twice at protest rallies in DC. I'll tell Hotch," Penelope says and hangs up.

"Kid, you did really well. Now, get the hell out of there."

"Bye," Spencer coughs.

"Y/N, he's going to be okay. He's a smart kid."

"I'm not ready to lose him," you sniffle and look up at Derek.

"You're not going to lose him."

Spencer not only found who the partner is, but he also found the cure for the strain. Dr. Nichols had a cure locked into his inhaler just in case he was ever infected. With both of those things figured out, the biohazard team works on getting Spencer out of there. You and Derek rush over to the containment area where Spencer is getting hosed down with his clothes on. Derek calls Hotch to let him know what is going on.

"Yeah, they're hosing him down now. ... Alright." He hangs up. "They're checking out Brown's house."

"Go help Hotch."

"No. Hotch has plenty of people helping him."

"He needs you more than I do."

"Reid, we're gonna see you off to the hospital."

"I'm about to get naked so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really want to see?"

"Go with Hotch. I'll stay with him," you say. "I'll be with him."

"Fine, I'll check on you later. Take good care of him, please."

"You should go, too," Spencer coughs.

"No."

"Y/N, please," he sighs.

He feels embarrassed you're going to see him this way but you're not going to leave him alone. You leave the area and walk to the side of the tent. The hazmat person who is there stops you from going inside, but you're not about to let this stop you.

"I've been inside the house. I might have gotten a whiff of that Anthrax inside. I got to the door before Spencer was able to close it. Do you really want to risk me exposing it to more people? I need to be hosed down, too."

The person knows you're bullshitting him, but he allows you to go inside. You quickly remove your clothes and join Spencer's side. You grab his hand and he looks at you in shock.

"I told you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you."

"I'm glad you're here with me," he smiles genuinely.

The two of you get hosed down and are transported into an ambulance that is waiting. You grab his hand and hold it tightly. Linda jumps into the ambulance with you and the driver takes off. Spencer may have inhaled the Anthrax, but it got into his bloodstream when he got cut by the rose bush.

"How are you feeling, Dr. Reid?" Linda asks.

"My throat's a little dry, but other than that, I feel... Flee... Feel fin. I fleel fin."

The tears have not stopped rolling down your cheeks since Spencer locked himself into that room. He's not out of the woods just yet.

"Just hand in there, baby. You're going to be okay. I'm gonna take care of you," you sniffle and smooth his hair back.

"Drive faster," Dr. Linda says to the driver.

To perfect his poison, Chad is stuffing lightbulbs full of the substance. Lightbulbs have sensitive glass so that if you drop one from even a foot high, it'll shatter. He's obviously not in his house when the team gets there, but they have a feeling they know where he's headed to.

When Spencer gets to the hospital, they take him into surgery to flush out the Anthrax in his system, but he goes into respiratory distress. You're a mess in the waiting room since you can't go back there with them. You're sitting in one of the chairs with your head in your hands and praying that he'll be alright.

Hotch understands why you're not with the rest of the team, so he uses who he has to get to Chad before he releases another attack. Much like what you profiled, the bookstore and the park means something to Chad. The park is where he proposed to his girlfriend, and she said no. The bookstore is where he world to put himself through college. Both locations represent rejection to him.

Prentiss and Rossi found maps of the transit systems at his house, so he's either going to use the train to get somewhere to attack, or he's attacking the trains. Dr. Nichols wrote a classified study commissioned by the US Senate. It simulated a mock Anthrax attack on the DC train systems. Now, he emphasized the main line as the most vulnerable to an attack. It has forceful tunnel winds, the biggest crowds, and the highest mortality risk.

Chad is going to the one place that rejected him, Fort Detrick. Now, he can't possibly get inside and attack the people there, but he can attack the while they're on their way to work. It's why he's going after the train system. The closest train station to the Marc Train is Frederick, so that's where General Whitworth and the BAU team are heading.

They didn't want to alarm anyone and show up in gas masks, so they went in their normal outfits. Derek and Emily helped people get out of the station while Hotch, Rossi, and General Whitworth confronted Chad who had a bag full of Anthrax bombs. In order to get him to hand over the bombs is to make him believe that he's getting recognized for his efforts. If General Whitworth offers him a position in Fort Detrick, then Chad will be more likely to hand over his work.

Well, it worked but the General had Chad arrested instead of promoting him. With Chad out of the way, the BAU team heads over to the hospital where you're inside Spencer's room. You're sitting by his bed with his hand in yours while he continues to sleep. He hasn't woken up since they claim they've fixed him.

Derek walks in carefully with some jello in his hands.

"We got the guy."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," you sigh."

"You were needed here. How is he doing?"

"He hasn't woken up yet. What if I lost him?" you sigh sadly.

"Listen to me, Mama. You were the one to keep JJ's head on straight all day today. She didn't lose her son just like you're not going to lose Spencer. He's a tough kid. He's young and healthy, and you're right."

"About what?"

"You two have to get married. Do you really think he'd die without putting a ring on it?" he chuckles. For the first time in what feels like days, a smile spreads across your face. "There's that smile."

"Thanks, Derek."

The doctor comes in just as Spencer wakes up.

"You're eating jello?" he asks when he sees Derek's jello cup.

The relief you feel is too much to contain, so it comes out in tears. You put your head down on his arm and just cry silently.

"Hey, kid."

"Is there any more jello? What happened?"

"You're gonna be alright, kid. We got Brown. It's over."

"How's Abby?"

It's just like Spencer to be worried about someone else when he's the one who's hurt, too.

"She's on the mend and so are the other three. You were right about where to look for his cure."

"Why was Dr. Nichols making Anthrax in the first place?"

"He was a brain scientist downgraded to working on the flu. When Brown comes along asking for help on his thesis, he would have been more than happy to share his knowledge. There was no indication that Nichols had any idea what Brown was planning."

"His strain and its cure are getting locked up in containment at Fort Detrick with all the other bio-agents people don't know about," Linda informs.

"What else do they have locked up there?" Derek chuckles.

Both he and Dr. Linda leave the room to give you and Spencer some time alone. When the door opens, Spencer lifts his hand and runs his fingers through your hair.

"I'm okay, Y/N. Don't cry."

You take a deep breath and stand up to compose yourself.

"Never do that again. There was a moment, a very slim moment where I imagined what my life would have been like without you in it. A part of me died just thinking about it, and I'm not saying that lightly."

"If you're going to jump in front of a bullet to save me, I'm going to do whatever I can to save you." He moves the blankets away from his body and gestures for you to join him. "Come here."

You crawl into bed with him and hold him close. You place your ear over his heart so you can listen to the beat of it. Spencer is alive. Spencer is okay. Everything is going to be fine.

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it." - Helen Keller

x

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[suginami-division]

Ryuko’s Thoughts on Sendai Division

Ryūzō Mizutori

“Ryūzō Mizutori? He’s got this pretty familiar face, if not punchable. But I doubt that I really know him, since he’s a teacher. Bet you my nerdy brother could talk about how wonderful this guy is in some obscure topic. Personally, I could care less about it all. I’m already done with college, I don’t need to be reminded of that garbage again. Especially what does he teach… English. Why the fuck would you need to know that? Unless if you’re gonna visit somewhere where you gotta learn it, I can’t think of why some moron would learn that. Whatever, his dumb choice.”

Takumi Wakaba

“What a stupid big guy! Well I suppose I lost my shape a bit since then… My new work makes it so I have no time to work out like I used to. Being a gym teacher would’ve been a great choice of career, but I doubt that any campus would tolerate my temper. It ain’t my fault though. People have to learn how to be respectful towards others is all. That said, hopefully this guy is better about it than me. God knows every gym guy needs to be chill when people start shit...”

Kotono Ohara

“Kotono huh. I know her real well. She does some silly little writing thing outside of her teaching job, so sometimes she commissions me to do some illustrations to go along with her stories. I have to admit, she has some great story ideas from what she has explained, but she has no sense of composition at all! Woman will ask for ridiculous things for me to make and it just doesn’t look good at all! Then she has the gall to fucking fuss at my nitpicking! Kotono hired me, and she is getting nothing short of perfection if I have anything to say about it! Just fork over the cash and let me do my fucking job!!”

Kiya Kara

“For a gang of teachers to group up in a rap team, this is far from expectation. I guess they exceed expectations by not being a bunch of old geezers, even if they are a gang of middle aged teachers. Whatever… Kid, teacher, or grandpa, they’re all getting a beating once they face off against us!”

[nathank77]

3/21/24

2:15 a.m

So some good news. I called my eye wear company and I complained.. The guy I talked to at my eye wear company was so rude last night, and I brought up that they shipped them despite me putting them on hold.

I wouldn't say the guy I talked to tonight was overly nice or anything but he listened and did what I wanted. They are processing a replacement right now. I'm getting Oakley Airdrops!

They expect me to return the Ray-Bans, they sent me a prepaid shipping label but I won't..I've gotten away with this many times with my Eyewear company.

They make the new pair and send them before you send in the return. I won't abuse it further. I'm not going to complain about my Beau glasses, I love them tbh. And I don't need more than 4 pairs of glasses.

They won't be able to charge my account unless I authorized it lol to make matters better i got refunded 28$ bc the Oakley airdrops are 28$ cheaper.

So I'm paying 240$ for a pair of Ray-Bans and a pair or Oakley Airdrops. Thats about 120$ for each. Which isn't half bad.

They look very similar but this is an investment in my future Eyewear too. When I get a new script, I can get the lenses replaced somewhere for like 70$ each. Now I won't have to scour the earth for the frames I like anymore.

Half frames are available everywhere, and they are cheap af. As long as I don't end up in progressives.. but for now I'm safe.

This style of frame and color really does seem patented by Oakley and Ray-Bans, I'm not kidding. So I just spent 240$ on two frames with lenses that would have cost over 500$!

I'm excited 😊 saving the 28$ is nice too. Maybe I'll get the rimless but not anytime soon. They are cheap but I'm trying not to he ridiculous...

I had 7 pairs of glasses last year/last script, bare in mind 3 were the same pair of half frames. However, when you buy cheap frames spending 70-80$ on new lenses to be put in far exceeds the cost of what you would spend on a new pair with the same frame. That's the funny thing.

I was worried they wouldn't ship them until I sent back the Ray-Bans but they are already making the lenses! I figured if they didn't make them and kept it on hold until I shipped them back, I saved 28$. Which isn't too bad..

The kinda horrible thing is, I want to wear my half frames but I feel like if I don't wear these Ray-Bans constantly, I wasted too much money. I spent like 51$ on 2 Beau frames...

Spending 240$ on 1 pair of glasses makes you feel like you should only wear that pair... so I may never go rimless. Idk.... cause then I'll have so many choices to chose from most of them won't get enough wear time..

I will wear the half frames sometimes. I put one pair in my backpack as a spare if my current lenses get too dirty. I finally bought glasses cleaners but sometimes they just smear around the smudge.. nothing clean a pair of glasses like water and soap.. especially if it's oil from your fingers. Glasses lenses are like a magnet for the oil on your skin.

What I'm going to do is carry whatever case for my current glasses, whether it's Oakley or Ray-Bans bc the glasses are way too big for traditional glasses cases. I bought 3 glasses cases and they don't even begin to fit. Thankfully the Ray-Bans and Oakley come with their own case.

So I'll bring the case of the current pair I'm wearing, and if my glasses get dirty beyond repair, and I need to wash them bc the glasses cleaners don't do the job I will just switch to my half frames in my back pack.

I really want the rimless but I've spent 290$ on glasses altogether.... the rimless is like 50$. And idk when I'd wear them to justify it.

I suppose if you're a fulltime glasses wearer like me, you absolutely need more than 1 pair and you should have more than 2. Washing a pair with soap and water especially full framed glasses but regardless, is difficult cause they always have water droplets on them. You can try hard and get it almost perfect but it's time consuming.

As a full-time glasses wear I recommend 3 pairs. 1 for on the go to switch to assuming you scratch the lenses or they get dirty. The other two is to switch between frames at home for fashion. I'll have 4. A little too many. That's not a bad thing.

Next year I'll get my Ray-Bans and Oakley lenses replaced. I'll buy a pair of half frames from my Eyewear company and I'll get an insurnace pair that I'll upgrade to anti reflective so I can wear them. Otherwise they'll be useless. If things really work out next year I'll get half frames from my insurance and then I'll get rimless from my Eyewear company!

I don't know what frames will come in my size from my insurance so my hopes won't be too I high for that but either way I'm excited that I get to have my Ray-Bans and Oakley Airdrops!

Spending 120$ on each makes it easier to switch glasses bc I'm not joking, spending 270$ on one pairs makes you feel like you're required to wear that pair.

If my script doesn't change, I'll pay for the anti reflective on my insurance pair and then get rimless for my new fashionable choice.

No matter what I'll be spending around 300$ on glasses a year assuming I don't need Progressives. Things will have to change when that happens lol but for now let's have fun.

I'm fucking over the moon I don't need Progressives and I get to get both Ray-Bans and Oakley.

Since I hallucinate 24/7. And everything sucks. It's nice that something worked out

[81scorp]

My top 8 movies of 2023

Hey folks! Its that time again! 2023... the year that I finally went back to the cinema again after having been away from it since 2020.* It was also the first time that I got sick after having been healthy and sickness free for four years (thanks to good hand hygiene and social distancing). It was only a matter of time I suppose. But now you dont have to wait to the end of 2024 for my list of movies I saw in 2023 thats ranked according to my own personal taste and bias! Why 8? Because Im not a professional filmcritic who has time to see most of the movies that came out this year and sometimes other duties got in the way. So I only had time to see 8 movies in the cinema**.

(*Unless you count that time I saw No time to die, which was in 2021.) **Actually, I only had time to see 7. One of these films was on Netflix. I was gonna make it a top 7 list but I decided to put it on my list since: A: the film came out 2023. and B: I technically saw it in its intended format since it never had a theatrical release. So its not like I missed an opportunity to see it in theaters.

But anyway, with all the technicalities of the way, here are the movies…

8: Antman and the wasp: Quantumania Scott Lang, his daughter Cassie, Hope Van Dyne, Dr. Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne are all sucked into the Quantum realm. When trying to get back to their own world they run into an evil man named Kang, hijinx ensue. It did not exceed my expectations but it didn`t go below them either. I expected the usual MCU quality from this and was not dissapointed. Safe and familiar. Not great, not bad, just OK.

7: The Marvels Carol Danvers teams up with her old friends daughter Monica and Kamala Khan, a big admirer of her, thanks to the power of an ancient, alien bling to fight an angry Kree woman who wants to fix her home planet at the cost of other planets, Hijinx ensue. Like Quantumania I didnt expect this to be better than the average MCU movie and was not disappointed. Its higher on the list than Quantumania because Iman Vellani is fun and I like the musical scene. Its OK.

6: Wish Reminds me of Bryan Singers Superman Returns, in that it is a love letter and homage to something that came before it, but other than that it is not much else. I wanted this movie to do better at the box office, but I also wanted it to be better. People are disappointed in this because this was supposed to be a milestone, the movie made to celebrate that the Disney animation studio has been around for 100 years! It just couldnt live up to the hype. But if you take all the hype out of the equation and just view as its own thing its… OK. I liked it more than Pocahontas. The script could have been polished a little and the songs could have been better (especially "This is the thanks I get"). Like I said, it`s OK. Worth a watch.

5: The Super Mario Bros. Movie At first I had some reservations about Chris Pratts voice coming out of Marios mouth, but it quickly grew on me. Wasnt too crazy about Fred Armisens as Cranky Kong though, but he didnt have much screentime. It may be a movie about Super Mario, but it is also made by Illumination, and there were times where I could feel their fingerprints on the movie. Of course, Why shouldnt there be? They made it after all. Yes, but remember, Illumination made Minions, the cinematical equivalent of entertaining a one year old by dangling your car keys in front of them. There was one scene where they used used Ahas "Take on me" that had me scratching my head and wonder if that really was the best song for that scene. Good despite being an Illumination movie. Id tell you to go see it, but judging from its box office theres probably a chance that you already have.

4: M3gan After her parents die in a car accident, eight year old Cady is sent to live with her aunt Gemma who works as a roboticist at a high-tech toy company. Gemma has built a humanoid child-sized doll powered by artificial intelligence called M3gan. M3gan becomes Cadys companion, babysitter and does things that Gemma doesnt have time to do, like play with her and reminding her to flush the toilet. Then after a while, things go sideways and M3gan starts to become overprotective of Cady. This movie reminds a little about the Nighmare on Elmstreet sequels in that it isnt afraid to be silly. Right from the start it tells us with a commercial for a silly toy that it is a comedy and a satire. In that way its similar to Paul Verhoeven`s Robocop. It has comments about parenting, the use of A.I. in todays society and it makes you ask questions, like: Would M3gan have stayed good if Cady had remembered to flush that damn toilet?

3: The boy and the heron Mahito, a young boy who lost his mother in a hospital fire during World War 2 moves into a new home in a rural area to live with his father and his new wife, Natsuko. One day Natsuko disappears and when Mahito looks for her he meets a peculiar grey heron who at first tries to mislead him but then helps him in his search for Natsuko. It takes a while for the plot to get moving and some of the characters feel a little underwritten. That little criticism aside, its an interesting, visually beautiful and very surreal movie. A welcome alternation from the other animated big studio movies that Ive seen so much of lately. The kind that is aimed at such a broad, general audience that you can really feel how focused grouped it was. It is very unapologetically a Miyazaki movie.

2: Nimona In a futuristic medieval kingdom surrounded by a great wall, Ballister Boldheart, the first commoner to become a knight, is framed for the murder of the Queen. When trying to clear his name and prove his innocence he runs into Nimona, a chaotic shapeshifter who helps him in his endeavour. Ballister learns a few things about his sidekick but also about the kingdom he had sworn to protect. It gets a better spot than The boy and the heron because it feels more accessible, like it wanted to reach a wide audience but at the same time still keep some artistic integrity. If I have any criticism its aimed at the character Todd. He feels like a character from an Illumination movie that accidentally wandered on to the set and no one had the heart to tell him that he was in the wrong place, so they just let him be in the movie. It does the "3D that looks 2D" a little better than Wish, is fun and has some sincere, heartfelt moments. Its message is important, not just in this time but had it come out earlier it would still have been just as important. It dares to do a little more than most animated movies that has come out lately and the fact that it was made and released at all with it`s troubled production history is itself pretty damn impressive.

And now… My number one pick…. will be revealed after an honorable mention!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Its the story that you have heard before: Four turtles and a rat get mutated to a more humanoid shape and size thanks to some goo, they live in the sewers and fight bad guys using ninjitsu. But here is a little new take on that old story: This time the four turtles are curious about and want to be part of the surface world but their mentor and father figure forbids them because he is prejudiced against humans. So its basically "TMNT meets The little mermaid". The Turtles feel more like teenagers in this one than they have in any of the previous movies. It has an anarchic, juvenile charm, deliberately misshapen design on some characters and beneath the immature humor there is also alot of sincerity. Its familiar, different, its funny. Give it a watch.

Why is this an Honorable Mention? Because like Nimona I didnt see it in the cinema but unlike Nimona it did have a theatrical release and in these lists I make Im very much about the movies Ive seen in the cinema, which is the best place to see a movie. Because of that I was hesitant to put it on this list but decided to include it since it came out 2023. Also, I didnt know where to put it on my list. I think I`d place it higher than Wish.

And now… Drumroll please. My number one pick for 2023 iiis…

1: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 If I had a nickel for everytime a movie made in 2023 that had Chris Pratt in the lead role had “No sleep 'til Brooklyn” in its soundtrack Id have two nickels. Which isnt much, but its weird that it happened twice. It has jokes and funny moments but they dont cut off the moments that are sincere and heartfelt, it gives them room to breathe, (take notes Marvel). It feels like the end, not of a book, but of a chapter (because, lets be real, this is Marvel). A chapter has ended and James Gunn made sure to put a lot of work and love into telling a story that would feel right for the characters and their journey. In this day and age where many movies, atleast the Disney ones, have to have badguys with sympathetic backstories, or last minute redemptions, Chukwudi Iwujis High Evolutionary is a welcome change of pace. A modern day Dr Mengele so obsessed with creating a perfect society with the perfect race that he doesnt care who or how many dies in the process. In the end you are really rooting for this guy to get his ass handed to him. Even if it`s made clear in the post credit scenes that this is not the end and that we will see more of the Guardians, this movie gives a feeling of conclusion. You did good, Gunn. You did good. Also, congrats on having the first F-bomb in the MCU!

And those are the movies I saw in 2023.

Movies I wanted to see in 2023 but didnt get the chance to because of time or other duties: Oppenheimer, Barbie, Indiana Jones and the dial of destiny, Elemental and Cocaine bear.

Movies Im looking forward to in 2024 are: Dune 2, Deadpool 3, Inside out 2 and Furiosa: A Mad Max saga.

I hope that 2024 is, if not a good year for movies, then atleast not a bad one.

Written stuff: 53

Started writing this: 2023-12-24

I`m a little late with this one, but better late than never as they say.

Atleast I got it out before february, I consider that a win.

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

[prettylittleheartfilia]

The Usual

Neither of them knew how they ended up in this situation. One moment she was yelling at him for sneaking into her house, as usual. Then they began sparring, as usual. And now they found themselves on the couch, Natsu’s lips capturing hers, Lucy’s hands cupping his cheeks, which was not usual at all.

It was a soft kiss, neither of them really sure of what they were supposed to be doing with their mouths. They pulled away, pressing their foreheads together. The two stayed like that for a while, eyes closed, basking in the realization of what had just happened.

Lucy slowly opened her eyes and, just as she was about to speak, Happy flew in through the open window in her apartment.

“Lucy! Did you get any fish for me?”

Both Natsu and Lucy jumped at the sound of the exceed’s voice, scrambling to opposite ends of the couch so as to not raise any suspicion on what they had been doing less than a minute ago.

“Hey, buddy!” Natsu said a little too enthusiastically, his voice an octave higher than normal. “I thought you were hanging out with Carla.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to give her my fish and then I realized I actually ate it on the way to the guild, so I’m looking for another one.” He explained as he made his way to Lucy’s pantry.

“You already ate the fish I saved you.” Lucy called out, trying to hide her still reddened cheeks.

“What? Lucy~, that’s why I tell you to keep a bunch of them in the pantry!”

“I’m not saving any more of your stinky fish!” She got up and started pushing both of them towards the front door. “If you want more then go fishing and stop annoying me!”

The blonde slammed the door on their faces, leaning her head on it and letting her body slide down onto the floor. She normally didn’t mind their company, as much as she constantly berated them for invading her personal space, but today she needed to be alone in order to process what the hell had just happened.

The days following the incident were… weird. Lucy started avoiding Natsu like the plague. She dreaded going to the guild out of fear that she might run into him. And when she did inevitably run into him, she would make up a quick excuse as to why she couldn’t go on missions with him or sit with him to eat. The dragon slayer hadn’t sneaked into her place after that day either, which should have been a relief for the blonde, but it just made her feel like he thought what happened between them had been a mistake.

But what right did she have to feel this way? She was the one who continued to run away from him, too afraid of what might happen if they got the chance to be alone together. And now, she was all by herself in her apartment, deciding to focus on her novel instead of trying to go to the guild for a futile game of hide and seek like she had been doing all week. Except that this wasn’t working either. Every time she tried to write words on the paper, her mind went back to Natsu and that day. The way his lips felt against her own—chapped but sweet, the way his hands felt on top of her hips, how his wild hair smelled of-

Lucy flinched at the sound of someone knocking on her door. She jumped out of her desk chair and quickly opened the entrance to her apartment, not really caring who was behind the door as long as they could make her think of something other than her best friend’s lips.

“Hey, Lu!” As soon as the door opened, Levy jumped on the blonde, hugging her tight.

“Hey… everyone. What are you guys doing here?” Still a bit flustered from her earlier thoughts, Lucy hugged Levy back as she glanced up to see Cana, Juvia, Erza, Mira, and Lisanna all standing in her doorway.

“We thought today would be a perfect day for a girls’ night!” Mira explained as she and the other girls made themselves comfortable in Lucy’s home.

Lucy smiled softly. A girls’ night was just what she needed to clear her head, even if it was unexpected.

Or so she thought.

Not even ten minutes after her friends’ arrival, Cana exposed the real reason why they had suddenly come to visit. “So, Lucy, did something happen between you and Natsu?”

“Cana!” Levy smacked her arm as the other girls looked at the brunette with wide eyes.

“What? Might as well just come out and ask instead of beating around the bush.”

The blonde’s face glowed red as she hurriedly denied her friend’s question. “No! No no no, everything’s fine! W-why do you ask?”

“Please. We all notice how weird you’ve been acting lately. You run away if you see even a glimpse of pink hair.”

Lucy looked down. Maybe she should tell them what happened. She’s not used to talking about her feelings, normally just shoving them down and distracting herself by writing or going on a mission. But none of those distractions seemed to be working right now. And most of her friends had much more experience in this department than her, surely they would know what to do. Plus, she trusted these girls with her life.

“Natsu and I… we, we kissed… last week.” She muttered, still looking down. Part of her hoped they didn’t hear her but, alas, they did.

There was a resounding “WHAT?” from all of her guests and Lucy simply nodded, still too afraid to look up.

“Oh my God! Pay up, guys!” Cana jumped up, thrusting her open palm in front of Mira’s face.

“I really thought it would take them years.” Mirajane grumbled as she took out some rolled up jewels from her cleavage and handed them to the brunette. Both Lisanna and Erza also stood up and begrudgingly gave Cana their money.

“Juvia knew it was coming. They’ve been flirting more and more these days.” Said the water mage with a smug grin as Cana divided the bills with her and Levy.

“Wait, what?” Lucy finally looked up indignantly, “You guys made a bet about this?”

“Of course. We all know you two idiots are in love. You’re the last ones to realize it.” Cana shrugged as she sat down again.

“We’re not in love.” Lucy responded, but even she knew it was a weak protest.

“How did it happen? Who kissed who? Was it like you expected your first kiss to go?” Levy jumped from question to question excitedly.

“I don’t even know. We sat down on the couch after a sparring match and we were just playing around and then…” She trailed off.

“Did you like it?” Erza spoke up for the first time.

“...Yes?” Lucy responded after a while and groaned after she saw her friends’ cheeky smiles, burying her face in her hands.

“If you liked it so much, then why do you keep running away from him?” Asked Cana.

“I don’t know,” The blonde mumbled, face still buried in her hands before she moved to hug her knees instead, “Things are just… weird right now. I don’t know what I want, or what he wants.”

“Well, do you see yourself in a relationship with him?” Mira asked softly.

This got Lucy thinking. Ever since she was little, she had always fantasized about marrying her Prince Charming. Someone who was elegant, classy, a gentleman on all counts. But, after meeting Natsu, somehow the idea of that Prince Charming started fading away from her mind until there was no trace of it left. Now, whenever she thought about the one person she wanted to spend forever with, the only things she could envision were wide, warm smiles and pink hair. She never spent too much time thinking about what it could all mean, too afraid of what she might find if she dug deep enough in her heart. But the truth always found its way to the surface.

“I do.” She admitted in a whisper, more to herself than the people around her. “I want us to be together forever.”

“Then, what are you so afraid of? Go and talk to him.”

“I can’t. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t think he’s interested in relationships. And even if he was, he’s my best friend. I would never want to do anything that could jeopardize that.”

This time, Lisanna interjected. “Luce, I’ve known Natsu for a long time. I probably know him better than he knows himself in certain ways. I can assure you, the boy is head over heels for you. And I’m not the only one who sees it.” The other girls made gestures of agreement and Lisanna chuckled.

“You’re missing out on what could potentially be a beautiful thing because you’re scared of the what-ifs. Yes, maybe along the line something happens and you guys break up. But, maybe you don’t and you get to grow old together. You’ll never know unless you try. Life is all about risks and I know you’re brave enough to take them. I’ve seen you do it.”

Mira’s speech almost brought tears to Lucy’s eyes. She was right-- as she usually was about everything. If Lucy was able to leave everything behind at seventeen to become a mage and get through countless adversities in her way, even when all odds were against her, what’s stopping her from confronting a boy?

“No matter what happens, we will always be a team.” Erza added, and it was just the validation Lucy needed to make her mind up.

“Thank you, guys. Really. And you’re right. I need to stop running away and just talk to him.”

———

Today was the day. After going over everything the Strauss sisters had said to her in the mirror to gain courage, Lucy took a deep breath and made her way towards the guild.

As soon as she opened the grand doors, she was met with the familiar ruckus of Fairy Tail; chairs being thrown in the air, groups of people singing while drunk-- Cana being the most notable of all, of course. People yelling out what missions they were planning on taking to Mira, and what seemed to be a crowd of people cheering on a fight. She smiled. As much as Lucy loved peace and quiet, there was something so comforting about all the chaos that went on inside the guild. It felt like home.

Only when she got closer did the celestial mage notice that the people who were fighting were none other than Natsu and Gray. Gajeel seemed eager to join the fight from where he stood in the crowd, but he was being pulled back and chastised by Levy.

Rolling her eyes, Lucy squeezed her way through the group until she was standing on the front row. “Natsu, Gray! You better stop before Erza sees you.”

The threat fell on deaf ears, the two mages too entranced on beating each other up to even notice the presence of their friend. Sighing, Lucy made her way to where the two of them stood. Before either of the boys could process what was happening, Lucy grabbed their heads and crushed them together. The hollering crowd instantly went silent and slowly dispersed, knowing not to cross the blonde when she was in one of those moods.

“What the fuck, Lucy!” Cried out Gray as he rubbed the injured area.

Deciding there were more important matters at hand, Lucy ignored him and turned to Natsu who was also rubbing his head until he noticed the girl looking at him. He straightened up with wide eyes.

Before he could say anything though, Lucy hurriedly asked, “Can you come over for dinner later?” Knowing that if she didn’t ask now she would lose all the courage she worked so hard to build.

The question seemed to throw Natsu off. He sent a panicked look at Gray, as if questioning whether he heard her right, and answered after a few seconds. “S-sure! I’ll be there.”

———

Lucy decided to leave the guild early not only to make the food, but to mentally prepare for what was about to happen.

She was going to ask Natsu how he felt. And she had no idea what to expect. The boy had never been good with words or expressing himself, his thoughts always a mystery to whoever he was around. Perhaps if she hadn’t kicked him out of the apartment after their kiss and avoided him every day since then, she would have an idea of what was going on through his mind. But it’s too late for regret now.

Just as she finished setting up the small table, she heard someone knocking at her door. Taking a deep breath, Lucy opened the door to find her pink-haired partner scratching the back of his neck, a soft blush dusting his cheeks. Part of her was afraid he was going to fly in through the window with Happy, but she was glad to see he understood that she wanted them to talk alone.

“Natsu.” She breathed, suddenly at a loss for words.

“Hey, Luce.” He gave her one of his signature big smiles, but Lucy noticed that it didn’t reach his eyes. He seemed… nervous. She never thought Natsu was capable of feeling that emotion.

They stood awkwardly on the doorway for a few seconds before Lucy realized it was her turn to speak.

“C-come in! I made some of that spicy chicken you really like.” She looked down at the floor as she opened the door wider so he could pass.

“Thanks!” He chirped as he sat down on one of the dining chairs.

Lucy gulped. The entire speech she rehearsed over and over again had completely been erased from her mind the moment she saw him.

This was going to be a long night.

———

Once again, Lucy had no idea how they ended up like this. Dinnertime had been very awkward, the two of them eating silently for the most part, making small talk every once in a while, both of them too afraid to mention the elephant in the room. But, somehow, they had gone from barely talking at each other, to making a bet on who would win a sparring match. Even in the most difficult situations, Natsu always found a way to wreak havoc. And Lucy found a strange sense of comfort in that.

At first, the blonde was hesitant on accepting the bet, still feeling the discomfort of all the things left unsaid. But, when Natsu sent a Fire Dragon Iron Fist her way, breaking her favorite vase as she ducked, she decided to make good use of her Fleuve D’étoiles. After a few minutes of going back and forth, Lucy pretended to point at something surprising behind Natsu, which gave her the opportunity to wrap her whip around Natsu’s ankle when he looked back and tug him until he collapsed on the ground. The oldest and cheapest trick in the book, Lucy knew, but a win was a win. Honestly, she was more surprised that it had actually worked.

She unwrapped the whip from Natsu’s ankle and placed it gently on her desk. The dragon slayer was still laying flat on the floor, so Lucy decided to lay down next to him. She sighed as she felt all the tension she had been feeling lately leave her body. It had only been a week but she had seriously missed being around her best friend. It didn’t matter to her what they were, she just wanted to be with him. That was enough for her.

“Now my face is all red.” She muttered as she pressed her hands to her cheeks.

“I like your face.” Natsu mumbled and, as they both whipped their heads to look at each other with wide eyes, Lucy realized that he was just as surprised by what had come out of his mouth as she was. “I, I mean your face is cool! I-it’s nice. Even when it’s all red and sweaty like now.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow at his poor attempt to save himself but made no effort to stop him.

“But not only your face!” He continued, “Gray told me you should never just talk about a girl’s appearance.” He grumbled, as if upset he had broken some sort of special rule and Lucy could not stop her amused smile. “Like, yeah, your face is nice, but you are also nice! And smart. And I like how I feel when we hang out. Ugh, what am I saying?” He turned his face towards the ceiling again and covered it with his hands.

It took everything in Lucy’s power to not burst out laughing right then and there. Was Natsu… confessing? She had never seen him so flustered. Ever. Normally, that was her thing. She had to admit, it was nice being on the other end every once in a while. All this time, she tried her hardest to muster up the courage to talk to him, trying to convince herself that things would be fine even if he didn’t feel the same way and now here he was, making a fool out of himself in the most heartwarming way Lucy could have asked for.

After a couple moments of silence, Lucy finally decided to speak up with newfound confidence.

“... I like your face too. Just so you know.”

Natsu dropped his hands from his face and whipped his head to look at Lucy. She raised her eyebrows, hoping he would understand exactly what she meant. She knew he understood by the way his lips slowly formed a giddy smile, one to match hers. Without the need for any more words, they both turned to look at the ceiling as their hands found their way to each other’s, fingers entangling.

This definitely wasn’t the usual for them, but maybe it was time for a new normal.

[shoichee]

Hey luv! I just got my braces off and I don’t know if I like myself with or without them cause yah girl has ✨confidence issues✨ so can you do the GoM + Kagami and Teppei thanks my savior

OH, rn i have braces too (although they’re ceramic and harder to see) but I definitely can understand the apprehension when you have them taken off after for so long;; 

the amount of characters requested actually exceed the rules, but since i’ve taken a while to get to your request, i’ll still do them but they will be shorter^^ THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF <3

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

right away, he notices that something was amiss with you, and asks upfront if anything was bothering you

you replied hesitantly, but while you talked you held up a hand in front of your mouth:

“Um… I don’t know if I like how I look right now…”

Kuroko stares at your nervous eyes and then looks down to your hand in front of your mouth before asking why

“Just got my braces off, and I feel a bit… weird without them? I feel like I look strange without them…”

“Do you mind if I see you?” he asks, softening his eyes at you

“W-Well… you’re not someone to judge, I know, but don’t… laugh or anything.”

“I won’t, (y/n)-san.”

he slowly brings your hand down and you slowly smile to reveal your teeth to him, and he gives you the purest smile… and that catches you off guard so badly like… YOUR TEETH GOT HIM TO SMILE LIKE THAT??? DAMN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE EVERY SECOND TO SEE SUCH A TREASURE—

“(y/n)-san, I think you look wonderful,” he muses, bringing your same hand that was in front of your mouth into his own hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same.”

ah Kuroko, the individual who has a knack in comforting people with his genuity (example: see Momoi)

whenever you do have those moments of self-consciousness again, he’s always there to calmly reassure you otherwise

Kise Ryouta

IMMEDIATELY sees your teeth when you talk, and freaks out like a little kid on Christmas

“(y/n)-cchi! (y/n)-cchi!!” he hoots around, pointing at his own teeth. “You got your braces off today! You look amazing!”

when you hesitate and tell him that you’re not so sure about yourself without your braces, he pinches your cheek and gives a little dramatic huff

“But (y/n)-cchi…! Come onnnn, trust me!” he says, giving a signature pout, and you laugh at his antics

“Ohhh, do that again! Do that again!” (he craves for your laughs, and he wants more)

he definitely tries to get you to smile and laugh to get you more comfortable with your braceless teeth

whether you have braces or not, he doesn’t mind so much because what he really cares about is your smile, and if he sees your teeth showing, braces or without, it means that he knows he’s doing a good job in making you comfortable and happy

while he showers you in praises every single moment, when you feel really down, he takes an extra measure or two to cuddle you gently while being much softer in delivering those compliments

always gives a daily compliment to give you a serotonin boost

Midorima Shintarou

he’s confused… why would you be upset that you got your braces off? you looked great before and even now, so does the fact of braces really change your perception of your appearance that much?

he won’t make any comment on your new appearance unless you bring it up to him and ask for his opinion/reassurance

he’s just happy for you that you have another milestone of your life, and not to mention, braces generally promote better oral health and fix misaligned bites

“Hm? What do I think of how you look? D-Don’t be ridiculous… What am I supposed to say?”

“Well, I just… think I look a little odd… I kind of… want my braces back.”

“You know you can’t do that, nanodayo,” he sighs. “So much money, effort, and care were invested into your teeth for many years. You did the most you could to take care of them and achieved the goal you set out for yourself when you first got braces, correct? That isn’t something to be ashamed of, nanodayo.”

despite his lecturing, his words do have some merit, and Midorima’s words were comforting in his own way

“But Midorima, um… sorry for annoying you,” you say, giving a chagrined smile

Midorima takes a good look at your exposed teeth for the first time and widens his eyes in a fluster before turning his eyes back to his astrology book

“I-I-It’s nothing.”

bonus: he’s definitely that one fussy parent who forces you to wear your retainers religiously, NO EXCUSES—he doesn’t want the whole process to be all for naught just because you got lazy in wearing a simple metal thing

Aomine Daiki

idiot #1

“Whoa, your teeth look different,” is something he would say tactlessly

immediately, you slapped your hands over your mouth at his words

forgive him, he usually says what’s on his mind with no filter and consideration

by then, he’d realized that the tone of his words was poorly delivered and would try to correct himself before he says anything more to dig himself a deeper grave

“Er, sorry, what I mean is… I didn’t know you were gonna have them off today…”

that actually made you more self-conscious and you try to flee from the scene

“W-Wait, hey!”

insert Aomine clumsily explaining that he didn’t mean to be tactless with his words and that he just meant that he was surprised in a good way

definitely shows you a lot more wholesome affection in addition to his usual PDA, but you wonder what he thought about your new “appearance,” so to speak

“What kinda question is that?” he scoffs. “You’re still hot and always will be.”

if there’s one sure benefit to his blunt words, it’s that his straightforwardness can easily dispel all your doubts and clear up any misunderstandings in one go

if you’re still doubtful about yourself, he’ll gladly resort to action to prove his point… perhaps makeout sessions with him would become a lot more exploratory and… just putting it out there, but we will leave this up to your imagination

anywho, he’s not afraid to give you more direct kisses to try to show you that he doesn’t care about your teeth and your lack of braces

definitely would tell out-of-pocket jokes and laugh more to get you to grow comfortable; after all, smiling is contagious right? who can resist Aomine’s smile???

if someone tried to make you uncomfortable by drawing everyone’s attention nearby in how you got your braces off, whether intentional or not, he’s scaring them away, no questions asked and he’s taking you away from the scene

Murasakibara Atsushi

“Oh…” he says with his usual drawl. “You got them off, Chibi-chin?”

it was a usual day with him tucking his own head into his arms to nap on the table when you walked up to him apprehensively, and he immediately notices your presence but lazily picks up his head to look at you when he noticed

“Er… yeah…”

he slightly tilts his head to the side like an inquisitive child to silently question what was wrong

“It’s nothing really! Just feeling tired… not in the talkative mood today.” as you said this, he noticed that you were more… tight-lipped, speaking in a quieter manner as if you were trying not to show your teeth as much as possible

he beckons a languid hand over and you reluctantly sit by his side, your face still slightly turned away

you thought he was just going to go back to sleep like he always does, but imagine your surprise when he easily picks you up from the side and placed you on his lap, face-to-face

Murasakibara then pulls your cheeks apart, revealing your pearly whites to him

“H-H-Hey!! Lert… gorw!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’m… serwious!”

he stares at you impassively for a few moments before he suddenly lets your cheeks go and yawns

“... you look fine, Chibi-chin,” he mumbles, and he sets you off his lap before getting up with a stretch. “Besides, now that you don’t have braces anymore, you can finally eat whatever you want right…?”

“I… guess I can…”

and he’s already reaching for your hand to tug you to the nearest takeout with a slight shine of excitement in his dark pupils

“Chibi-chin, we can finally eat those candy apples together you’ve always craved for, lots and lots…”

he’s very fixated on you eating with your braceless teeth for the next few weeks with a small smile on his face, because you enjoying the food you eat are some of the simplest joys he loves when he’s with you (and you hadn’t been able to do that because your braces forbidden you from eating a list of things)

definitely drags you out for food outings a lot more for the next few weeks

he tries his best in trying to make you not think about your teeth and your self-consciousness about them in his roundabout way (note: see his cheek pulling, distracting you with your favorite snacks, etc.)

he’s not someone to make any deal out of it because worrying over such a trivial thing is annoying to him, but nonetheless he certainly wants to make sure that nothing is bothering you because that’s the greatest inconvenience (since he doesn’t like to see you in such a state)… you being upset and worried makes him upset and worried, after all

Akashi Seijuro

he immediately understands that feeling of self-doubt/self-consciousness, but nonetheless he compliments you to let you know that he truly finds you desirable/beautiful inside and out

still, words alone sometimes don’t convince you and even when he gives physical affection to comfort you, there’s still that nagging feeling of how you felt about your teeth

and he’s totally okay with that, and he knows that feeling very well himself (regarding having inner voices that taunt him)

rather than constantly hammering in compliments because he knows that at some point they’d feel more disingenuous the more he says them, he offers you to help overcome the self-consciousness on your own terms

Akashi offers the suggestion of wearing face masks (not necessarily the surgical ones, but the cute/plain colored masks you’d see around!) if you have certain days where you feel low about your braceless teeth

he’d be quite sly and teasing all the while; whenever you wear your cute mask for the day, he’d be a lot more affectionate with the PDA and give pecks on your lips… but the mask is always in the way, preventing you from feeling actual contact with his own lips

he can tell you’d definitely get pouty when you don’t really feel those kisses and he simply laughs and walks on

“You…! I know you only try to kiss me when I have the mask on! Don’t play dumb with me!”

“Hm? Is it really a crime for me to show physical affection to the person I love?”

he eventually does help you coax you out and become comfortable, and your face masks would eventually be stored away in a drawer

he rewards you for being strong in overcoming your own doubts:

“To celebrate your strength in overcoming a huge milestone, what would you like your reward to be?”

“For starters, give me back all those kisses you tried to give me throughout all the times I wore a mask!”

“Of course,” he chuckles, moving closer to your lips. “How could I ever resist you when you’re this stunning?”

Kagami Taiga

idiot #2 (see idiot #1)

unlike idiot #1, idiot #2 doesn’t notice the change on your teeth, at all

he doesn’t know why you’re fidgeting around or acting really, really strange… were you hungry? upset at him for something he didn’t realize he did wrong?

so after a few days after you got your braces off, he finally asks:

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

poor guy doesn’t know if he was at fault or if he was missing something, and he physically holds his head to try to recall EVERYTHING for the past week

you reassure him that it wasn’t anything like that, but you still had furrowed brows and you were very careful in how you were talking

Kagami thinks you haven’t eaten and offers to make dinner, but eating in front of him for some reason really didn’t sound like a good idea to you so you declined

you’ll eventually tell him that you just felt a bit self-conscious after your braces got taken off

“Huh?”

he stares at your teeth for a very long time, and you immediately regret it, not wanting to draw his attention to you like that

he snaps out of his intense daze and immediately apologizes for making you uncomfortable

“M-My bad… I just didn’t notice until you told me.”

“Really?” you ask, slightly relieved that the change wasn’t as drastic as you thought it would be

“Er, yeah…” he mumbles, scratching his cheek, “you look good, by the way…” but by the time he finished his compliment, it came out as a cough

you can only laugh in relief, knowing that everything he says is always earnest and sincere

Kiyoshi Teppei

definitely noticed that your braces were off, but pretends to not notice until you bring it up yourself because he’s quite sharp and in tune with other people’s emotions

so he treats you like he always does, being the sweet “airhead” that he is, and he waits until you bring it up yourself (because he knows how self-conscious you were about your lack of braces)

you yourself are confused… like… was Teppei actually dense? was your whole inner dilemma not a big deal like your mind thought it would be?

you tug on his sleeve one day and ask him if he noticed your teeth, pointing to them all the while

and he immediately chastises himself (“silly me”) for not noticing, and he tells you that you were beautiful either way, and whether you had braces or not didn’t change that inherent fact (and that was his “reason” for not noticing to reassure you)

all while giving his easy going chuckles and ruffling your hair

laughs at your shyness at his words, not because it’s funny or anything but he truly finds you adorable

once you get comfortable without giving a second thought about your braces gone, he just drops the truth bomb on you so casually like:

“Ahhhh (y/n)-san,” he sighs in nostalgia. “You were really cute when you were so shy about getting them off, you know that?”

“Now wait a second…”

“Hm?”

“What did you say?”

“That you’re really cute.”

“No, no, the other part.”

“Whenever you get shy.”

“That is not what I mean and you know that—”

“Aww, you’re being really cute right now, (y/n)-san. Don’t tempt me to carry you around when I just finished with my physical therapy.”

[dixie12]

so much angst

why do some real work when i can write 1700 words of angsty jonny in the aftermath of pat’s 400th goal!

Jonny had spent the last three days practicing looking and sounding excited. He knew Patrick would be calling him to celebrate after his 400th goal, especially since Chicago was still mostly on lockdown, and it wasn’t like he could go out and party with the guys. He was determined not to bring Patrick down, not to make yet another conversation about him and his issues. Patrick deserved to be the center of attention, and Jonny was damn well going to give him that.

He texted with Sharpy a bit before the game, predicting when they thought Pat would score. After the frustrating loss in their last game, Jonny had has money on Patrick scoring early. Thankfully, Sharpy didn’t ask how he was feeling; he must have known that he wouldn’t get much of an answer out of Jon, anyway. 

Jon watched the game with increasing tension as time wound down and Pat still hadn’t scored, his body moving unconsciously on the couch as he deked along with Patrick. When the puck finally found the back of the net, after that beautiful hesitation move, Jonny whooped in joy, throwing his arms up before he even realized what he was doing. Not like he had any neighbors to bother, though, tucked away in isolation at his cabin. He pulled out his phone and sent Patrick a quick text, even though he knew Pat would be overwhelmed with congratulations over the next few days.

Jonny pulled up Twitter and watched the goal a few more times, scrolling through reactions from the Blackhawks, NBC sports, the NHL, other Chicago athletes, and pretty much everyone involved in hockey. 

As the accolades added up, a familiar heaviness settled into his chest, weighing down his excitement. Patrick was somehow getting better with age (“like a fine wine, baby,” Patrick had teased him, once), and while Jonny couldn’t be prouder of him, of what they’d accomplished together and what Patrick was continuing to accomplish on his own, he couldn’t help but compare himself to Patrick, and it wasn’t pretty.

Everyone knew that the organization was grooming Kirby to take over for him. If it hadn’t been for that freak injury at World Juniors, the kid would be out there centering the first line right now, in the spot that had belonged to Jonny since 2007. Jesus, Kirby was six when Jonny started his first game in the NHL. How was he supposed to compete with that? Sure he had the “respect of the room” and the experience, but Jonny himself had taken on the captaincy before he turned 21; there was no reason Kirby couldn’t do the same.

He tried not to check message boards too frequently, but sometimes even his willpower wasn’t enough, and he was already feeling sorry for himself, brief elation at Kaner’s goal subsumed into the ever-present anxiety he felt these days. He poured himself a few fingers of whiskey, knocking them back quickly and setting up a refill before he opened up a thread on Reddit talking about the salary cap and bad contracts.

It wasn’t as bad as what Seabrook got, but the general consensus, Jonny learned, was that he was way past his prime. There were a lot of posts that “wished him all the best” but pointed out how much cap relief the Hawks would get if Jonny never came back. “I’ll never forget what he did for Chicago, bringing hockey back with Kaner,” one poster wrote, “but Toews should recognize that his contract is a fucking albatross on the team.”

Albatross. Decline. Overpaid. Lost a step. Lost a lot of steps.

Jonny kept scrolling, barely reading the individual words anymore. Six months ago he may have laughed them off, would have turned to Pat to show him the most ridiculous comments. Now, though. He was pretty sure they were right, and he didn’t really know what to do with that.

The ringing of his phone, signaling an incoming FaceTime call, startled him out of his spiral. Oh fuck, that was Patrick. He hadn’t realized how much time he’d lost reading, nodding his head in bitter agreement as poster after poster pointed out all of his flaws. 

Showtime, he told himself. This was what he’d been preparing for. He hit accept, willing his smile into something bright and natural.

“Congratulations, babe!” he said, a little too loud to his own ears. Maybe the volume would make up for any lack of enthusiasm. “That goal was a beauty, Patrick,” he continued, more quietly and more sincerely. You can do this, he repeated in his head. Do this for Patrick. Be there for him.

Patrick just stared at him for a second, worn out from the game and all the post-game media, probably, but then he broke into a grin.

“Yea, you liked that, didn’t you?” He replied, letting himself be way cockier than he’d act to the press.

“You know I did, Peeks,” Jonny told him truthfully. “Was so stressed just watching, can’t imagine how you held it together out there.”

“Just imagined you were there yelling at me, telling me to keep my head in the game. I told you to fuck off a few times, just fyi.” Patrick was still smiling, now chugging a Gatorade and stripping out of his suit while they talked.

Jonny was distracted by the broad lines of Patrick’s shoulders, his strong chest and arms now visible as Pat settled down on his bed. Without thinking, he mumbled “better get used to imagining it, man.” He felt his face flush as the words came out. Ugh he sounded pathetic. Patrick deserved so much better than this, especially tonight.

“What do you mean, Jonny?” Patrick asked immediately, languor gone, tension snapping into his muscles as he sat up.

“Nothing, nothing,” Jonny hurried to add. “You can imagine what you want, but I’m imagining being there in your bed right now,” he tried, desperate to distract Patrick and get the evening back on track.

Patrick looked like he might push it, but Jonny took his momentary silence to strip off his shirt, as well. He saw Patrick’s eyes flick down to his chest and abs, and yea, at least he was still able to work out enough that Patrick still thought he looked good. 

Unless. Unless he was looking at Jonny and judging. Looking at Jonny and thinking of how much better he’d look if he were training full-time. How much better Jonny used to look, when they shared the rink and the locker room and the gym, not just each other’s phone screens. 

“Jonny..” Patrick’s voice sounded hesitant. Focus up, he told himself fiercely. 

“Just thinking about your goal, Pat. Gets me hot,” Jonny said suggestively, letting his voice drop lower, one hand drifting down to his chest, fingers sweeping over a nipple like Patrick liked to do.

It wasn’t the best phone sex Jonny had been a part of, though Patrick seemed to enjoy it well enough, based on how hard he came, and how quickly he hung up afterwards, telling Jonny he was about to pass out. Jonny had to work way more than usual at just getting himself hard, getting himself off, but he got there eventually, a minute or two after Patrick.

He usually slept pretty well after an orgasm, and he’d actually been jerking off more often lately just to get himself to sleep. Tonight, though, every time he closed his eyes those comment threads started running through his head. He laid in bed for close to an hour, trying to force himself to sleep before giving up, throwing off the covers and wandering into the living room.

He opened his laptop, even though he knew that if he couldn’t sleep, he shouldn’t be messing around on his computer, either. Nothing good would come of it, not at this hour. 

Instead of message boards, he opened YouTube, pulling up old highlights of himself. He watched his hands, his edges. He watched himself lift the cup three times, remembering the roar of the home crowd that third time, how he felt on top of the world.

His eyes were burning, suddenly. He rubbed at them, clenching his jaw and fighting back tears. He was so tired. Tired of the uncertainty. Tired of the tests. Tired of the well-meaning questions. Tired of being left behind as Patrick continued to exceed all expectations. He didn’t cry, not quite, but it was a close thing. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, breath coming in gulps as he fought for control of his body.

He spent the rest of the night like that, sleep never quite finding him, but not really awake, either. 

The doorbell rang at 7:00, making him jump. Only a few people even knew where he was, and none of them should be showing up this early on a random Monday morning. He stumbled to the door, the old afghan from his couch wrapped around his shoulders. He was probably a mess, but he couldn’t really find it in himself to care.

He opened the door slowly, not sure who to expect, and then he saw the flash of Patrick’s curls. Patrick shouldered in, not even waiting for Jonny to finish opening the door.

“Patrick, what-” he started, but Patrick cut him off right away.

“Jesus, Jonny, you look terrible,” he said, reaching one arm out as he spoke, pulling Jonny in towards him. Jonny tripped, feet heavy with exhaustion, but Pat supported him like it was nothing. “You’re still a terrible actor, man. You were messed up last night, don’t even try to lie.”

Jonny didn’t know what to say to that, brain moving too slowly. Patrick was here. The Hawks had a three day break, their last one of the shortened season, and instead of getting some rest, or maybe seeing his family, Patrick was here. He wasn’t even sure how Patrick had managed to get here this early in the morning.

“How,” he tried again, but Patrick just tugged him in tighter.

“Shhh, Jonny,” he said, stroking one hand over Jonny’s neck. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep on your feet. Let’s just get you to bed.” Patrick started walking Jonny back towards the bedroom, steering with the weight of his hand on Jonny’s neck. 

They stripped quietly, not bothering with pajamas. Patrick settled them on their sides, facing each other, foreheads almost touching. Jonny finally felt his body relax, muscles sinking into the bed. Here in this space, sharing breath with Patrick, he let the tears come.

[petri808]

Underneath the Same Starry Sky

My piece for the @fairytailcharityfanzine 💜 we can now share it, please enjoy!

Nalu Reflective piece that takes place during the one year hiatus, focusing on Natsu’s feeling during his training, and Lucy.

Every single muscle in Natsu’s body ached worse than being electrocuted by one of Laxus’ lightning bolts.  His joints screamed like a banshee if he even thought about moving an inch for the rest of the night and he prayed that come morning’s light he could get up to do it all again.  The training routine he’d carved out for himself was ten times harder than anything he’d ever attempted before, but it’s a necessary evil and one that numbed his mind to the reasons behind its mission.  Tartaros was a wake-up call.  A proverbial slap to the ego that brought the mighty Fairytail guild to its knees.  Sure, they won the battle, but at a substantial cost.

He couldn’t afford to lose like that again.  Not when there were so many things at stake.

But tonight, there’s nothing more he can do except lie on his bedroll staring up at the sky.  If someone attacked him now in such a vulnerable state, they might win.  He doubted it.  Even the locals steered clear of the mountain he’d chosen.  Too afraid of the rumors of a crazy fire wielding man who could shake the very bedrock beneath their feet.  No, tonight it’s just him, Happy, and that sky.  A beautiful expanse of darkened heavens with no clouds to dampen its effects.

Ugh!  Nights like this were the hardest.  Each time he opened his eyes and gazed upon those twinkling stars his partner would drift into his mind and throw it back into chaos.  Lucy…. The golden queen who reigns over the celestial world, adored by her spirits, loved by her friends, and treasured by his truly.  

Everything he did was to protect the ones he loved.  And above all, her.

Just thinking about the attractive blonde sent a strange flutter through his core.  Natsu wasn’t immune to the desires created in any hot-blooded male when seeing such an attractive female.  But she’s different, special, not something treated like arm-candy or tied down by anyone unless of her own choosing.  Besides, he didn’t feel worthy of her attention.  Not yet.  Maybe one day, but not until he could truly safeguard her future, even from his own demons.  Besides, there’s still much to do.  It’s only his second month and already the drain on his mind, body, and soul pushed him to his limits.  But Natsu’s no quitter.  Once he set his heart on something, he would move all of Earthland to see it through.  Things would get easier over time as his body adapts to the training, so until then, no pain, no gain, and a blonde waiting at the end of this goal.

‘I really wish you were here Igneel…. Too many questions I never got the answer to….  Even new ones on things I don’t quite know what to do with.’  Natsu lets out an audible exhale.  ‘I miss you….  It’s like a huge part of me’s gone and I know I’ll never get it back.  Will that empty feeling ever go away?’  His eyes close for a moment as he remembers the pain of watching the fight between Igneel and Acnologia.  He’d held out so much hope that Igneel would win, only to have that faith dashed against the rocks like a ship, wrecking along the shore.  It was at that point, when Natsu felt like the small child again, alone and lost in the forest before Makarov had found and taken him to Fairytail.  He’d promised Igneel to keep growing, to keep looking towards the future, and he will.  He will get stronger!  But such pain and sense of initial loss from his childhood had never fully gone away, just sidetracked once he’d met Lucy.  

Again, with Lucy.  That day in Hargeon was the last time Natsu’d gone off on his own in search of Igneel.  Was that meaningful?  It had to be.  How else could one person, who he’d just met, unconsciously change his course in life if it didn’t have some major significance?  What would Igneel have said about her?  ‘Who am I kidding, he would love Lucy!  I bet he would tease me about her if he were here….  I know she would have liked him too….’  She would never be a replacement for his adoptive dragon father, but… ‘Lucy fills some void.’  A concept he couldn’t deny any longer.  

This training mission was the longest they’d been apart since, well, the day they met.  It’s a little weird, Natsu would admit, and he missed her along with all of his friends.  He wondered what they’re up to.  Are they rebuilding the guild hall right now?  Probably to be even bigger or better than before.  ‘Yeah…. It’s gonna be so nice to see it again!’  He should have stayed to help them rebuild, but this is more important.  ‘So, we don’t lose the next time!’  Did Gray miss their fighting, because he kind of did.  He loved to rile that ice queen up!  ‘I’m sure they’re all doing fine.’

But to take the power left to him by Igneel, he needed to strengthen his reserves and that took time.  He really didn’t understand how long he would be away for.  It could be months or even years; hopefully not the latter.  Mastering this new secret art is his primary focus and he couldn’t go back until he’d attained it.  It was his hidden weapon against his brother and it just needed to be perfect.  

Long blistering days had turned into weeks.  Laborious weeks dragged into months and as each one passed the physical pain had morphed into an emotional toll.  Now five months into his training, Natsu sometimes lost track of time itself, and it was only with Happy’s help that he knew how long he’d been at this.  The cheerleading Exceed made sure they had food or other provisions because the slayer would forget.  Even his hair was now past his shoulder blades, but he tied it back when it got in his way.  

Though it wasn’t all that bad, he’d made a lot of progress and was sure that it wouldn’t be too much longer till he could return home.  So, after another long day and a meal of roasted wild bird, Natsu submerges himself up to his neck in a nearby hot pond.  It was one of the few reasons he’d chosen this semi-isolated location.  The broiling waters were a bit too hot for any normal humans, but for a fire dragon slayer, something perfectly suited to soothe away his aches, and maybe some of his anguish.  Lately a few of Zeref’s parting words, “to kill or let live,” were toying with his mind.  “The one to reach me will be you or END…”  He still didn’t fully understand it.  Igneel also told him not to look at the END book.  But why not?  Who is this END person?!  “And what the hell did Zeref mean by passing to me, an even greater despair?!”  Regardless of not understanding, the message was clear.  Trouble was coming.

The steaming waters were making him sleepy, but he wasn’t ready to let it take him yet.  He just need to hash out these thoughts so he could move on because if he couldn’t, then he wouldn’t be able to focus on his training.  To concentrate the residual power, he needed a clear mind.  A long exhale escapes and Natsu closes his eyes.  Killing wasn’t the Fairytail way, so that wasn’t something Natsu even wanted to consider.  There had to be another solution, but it was difficult to figure out what that could be since he didn’t even know who or what this enemy was.  From the scant information they’d given him, END was the most powerful demon Zeref had ever created, one that not even Igneel could defeat.  That meant END could be his most formidable opponent to date, aside from maybe Acnologia.  

Acnologia…  all the hairs along his arm tingle.  The evil dragon born of a by-gone slayer era, is another problem that needed solving.  How were they supposed to defeat a dragon that other dragons were afraid of?  He remembered the quaking fear that all the slayers and dragons felt when Acnologia showed up.  Everyone’s panic and trembling emotions were palpable.  That vile creature had disappeared once more, but he’ll no doubt, show up at the worst time.  “Argh!”  Another beautiful part of being in the middle of nowhere, Natsu could scream all he wanted to.  He relaxes his eyelids, letting the feeling of the steam envelop his senses.  

Words unspoken passed between them as he hung his head whilst the tears flowed, and snot dripped.  Lucy held on tight, her arms wrapped around his middle, her face buried in the crook of his back like she’d done the night they’d defeated future Rogue.  Despite his promises to Igneel, Natsu’s heart had shattered and needed to fit back together like a jigsaw puzzle.  He was thankful that Lucy didn’t prod, just allowed him to feel, to process, like she just knew he would come out of this.  Her silent support meant so much to him, and she didn’t even know it.  

“Can we just go home?” he whispers under his breath.  “I’m tired.”

Lucy nods and moves to let go, but Natsu places his hand on her arm.  “To your apartment, just for tonight?  I’d… rather not be alone right now.”

“Sure, Natsu.”  

It was one of the rare occasions that Lucy didn’t kick him out of bed.  Maybe she was too tired.  After a shower, Natsu crawls under the covers.  Her calming scent of strawberry cream providing him some satisfaction, a reassurance that he wasn’t alone, and reminded him he still had a lot to live for.  And as his eyes close, the vision of her sleeping form, so peaceful, sends him off into a dreamless, yet fitful slumber.  

When light filtered through his closed lids the following morning, Natsu opens them to a fully awakened mind despite the pitiful amount of sleep he’d gained.  Through the night, Lucy had latched onto his side, keeping him pinned to his back.  She sighs, mumbling at his minute movements, before licking her lips and drifting away again clutched to his arm.  He exhales, turning to his side to gaze upon her better.  ‘Lucy…’ Natsu sweeps away some tendrils that had fallen over her eyes.  ‘How am I to protect her when I couldn’t even save my father?  How can I protect any of my friends from the dangers coming call?’  It wasn’t a matter of if he could, but a must.  He places a kiss upon her slightly furrowed brow.  ‘I promise you Lucy.  I swear on Igneel I will protect you at any cost!’      

Even though he’d decided that morning to leave on a training quest, he just couldn’t tell her, not in person knowing the pain it might stir back up for both of them.  All he could hope for a week later when he clutched the letter in his hand, that she would understand.  “Wait for me,” he whispers as he places the letter on her coffee table…    

Natsu opens his eyes.  Ugh, why was he dreaming about that now?  He twists his body in the steaming waters to rest his head on his arms on the edge.  How long had he fallen asleep for?  Couldn’t have been long since the position of the moon had only shifted slightly.  Maybe he was feeling a little guilty for leaving that letter the way he had.  It was a copout.  ‘Yeah…’ he sighs, ‘she deserved better from me, but I just couldn’t face her.’  Too late now to do anything about it.

It was almost over; he runs his hand over the new tattoo on his arm, reminiscing about the last 8 months.  All the power condensed in his body thrummed like a child excited to play with their new toy.  But it would have to wait and lay dormant for now.  Until the time was right, behind the symbols it shall remain.  This whole journey was one of self-recovery, through down-right struggles of the heart and mind.  So, unleashing the full power of the Fire Dragon King too early would be a waste of all that he’d fought to attain.  And that was okay, for through this self-discovery Natsu had become a lot stronger.  The control over his element was down to pinpoint accuracy, and whether as a stream of fire or as a conflagration, it was all by his manipulation.  He was giddy about showing this off and according to Happy, the perfect opportunity was coming up in just two months.  All the more reason for him to buckle down and finish his training.          

Lucy had hoped some of her friends would attend the games, even just to watch but no one did.  It was sad to think, ‘I’ve been looking this entire year…’ she breaks down against the wall filled with all the information she’d dug up on her ex-guildmates.  She knew where some were, while others…  Sigh, ‘Still nothing on Natsu.’  There’d been wild rumors that could be him.  Nothing concrete and they were always stories passed along from a friend of a friend.  But it was enough to comfort her sometimes, to know they were still under the same starry skies.  Ugh!  Lucy missed them all so much.  “Well, no point in crying about it tonight,” she laments to Plue.  Tomorrow was the finals, and she needed her sleep.  Lucy steals away to her bed and lets happier dreams bring her solace.            

Ten grueling months has passed by, but they’d made it!  The sun had yet to rise, but the pair arrived just in time to see the last day of the Grand Magic Games tournament.  Natsu turns his nose to the wind, scenting from atop a hill overlooking the large city of Crocus. “Happy, I think Lucy is here!”  

“But, why would she be here?” the Exceed queries.  “Could she be here for the games?”

“Probably.  We should look for her as soon as we can!”

“I thought you’re gonna challenge the winners?”

“Oh right,” Natsu smirks, “Imma go kick their asses and you look for her.”

“Aye sir!!”  

Morning’s light came and Lucy already knew it wouldn’t be very exciting.  The games only stirred up more pain from the loss of her friends and Fairytail, so it took a lot of self-motivation just to care.  Sure, there were exciting moments during the tournament but nothing like the year they won.  All the big guilds, their friends, no one took part this year saying it wasn’t worth it without Fairytail to compete against.  Lucy couldn’t blame them.  She takes one last longing glance at her wall and heads out the door.

‘Such a farce…’ Lucy stood there in the press box bored out of her mind.  Sure, Jason was excited after she’d pointed out Scarmiglione’s plan not only to win but to rake it in with the brokers.  Odds of 100 to 1 would pay out handsomely for anyone that bet on their win.  To her it was cheating and a blight on the games.  But no one had even noticed what they were doing.  Sad.  Then again, with none of the more powerful guilds in attendance, she guessed there wasn’t anyone around who could sense their true power levels except for her.  Surprise, surprise, she rolls eyes.  The crowds all jump to their feet when Scarmiglione’s last opponent falls, but Lucy is just happy it’s over.

But what’s this?  A rumbling murmur filters through the crowds.  She and Jason look over and see a heavily cloaked man walking into the arena.  Who is that?  What is this?!  So much power!  The hairs on her neck stand on edge.  “Evacuate the arena….” She cries out, but…  “Eh!”  The power and heat radiating off of the figure is burning her top off!  “Kiyah!”  Her arms frantically wrap around her bust, forgetting all about the danger.  As the smoke clears enough to see, she sees the culprit.  Her eyes widen.  “Natsu?!!!”

Screams of his name bounce around her.  Everyone is excited to see the slayer!

“Long time no see, Lucy!!!”

She turns around to see the flying Exceed.  “Happy?!!  What are you doing here?”

The other participants rush out to challenge Natsu but when his power and heat spikes even higher, they turn tail and run, screaming monster.  How hot does his power get?!  This was a lot stronger than she remembered him to be!  

The Exceed chuckles, “Natsu always tends to overdo things.”

But by then Lucy had stopped paying attention to the chaos going on around her.  The stadium was melting, members of Scarmiglione were out cold on the arena floor.  And all she could do was stare at the man she’d been wanting to see for so long.  It was really him and not a figment of her imagination!  A deluge of emotions floods her mind so quickly that there is no processing any of it.  Happiness, sadness, anger, nothing.  It was simply, in shock.  

With the rest of the challengers running in fear, Natsu finally realizes something.  He looks up and they lock eyes for a moment.  So fired up from his entrance, he’d almost forgotten she was here.  

“Yo!” his grin so wide it covers from ear to ear.  “Been a while, huh?  Lucy!”

Same old Natsu, she sighs, what had she expected?  With a crinkle of her eyes and a softening of her expression.  “How’ve you been?”

[heechulhamster]

Unfitting - Kim Minseok

Kim Minseok X Reader (Fem)

Soldier!Minseok, Smut, Explicit Sex

In his eyes, you don’t belong here. Like a sore thumb sticking out in the crowd. You don’t belong here, not in this dirt ridden battlefield, not among his troops, but he deemed you fitting somewhere else.

6315 words.

The subtly bitter yet tolerable smell of antiseptic drenched your senses and enveloped the small confines of the dimly lit and a rather bare and airless room - if a small distinctively narrow tent can even be called that. But it was welcome to distract you from the discomfort emanating from your deep cut being cleaned. The pristine cotton ball now turned carmine after it was doused in antiseptic, now gently being dragged over your wounded forearm. Now, to be considered gentle was already reaching it. It would’ve been more accurate to say that he was trying to be gentle, though it’s obviously an act he’s not used to nor he should be doing. 

“You’re well aware that I could sanction you for your misconduct, right?” He said, stern in his voice yet coming off as unbothered - as if authority is just his mere nature. His eyes still trained towards the injury, while his left hand support your elbow and the other holds the cotton. “My instructions were clear for corps medics, stay in the damn base. Did I not make myself clear?” 

“No sir, your instructions were well forwarded.” Your voice came off unsteady, shaken by his jurisdiction over you. 

“So tell me why you were twenty metres away from the field line? Are you deliberately disobeying the orders of your Commander?” He said, power still unwavering in his voice while his hands carefully measure and cut up the gauze in the right size for your wound. 

“No, sir.” Not even giving a second for hesitation. “Sir, I could do this you don’t need to-” 

“I wouldn’t have needed to if you didn’t disobey my orders. I’m a commander, higher in rank than any in this base camp. My word isn’t one you’ll just take lightly around here, do you understand that?” The snip of the shears reverberating in the room as he cut the gauze that snugly fitted your arms. 

“Yes, sir.” You answered, trying to sound as confident and as assuring as you could. And his eyes met yours again, after the gruelling minutes he spent cleaning the result of your disobedience. The pair of feline-like eyes that were sure to exude and amplify his authority to whoever he speaks to. “I’m sorry, Sir.” You suddenly blurted out. 

“What exactly for?” His eyes not leaving yours, and the overpowering stare left you uncomfortable so your eyes roamed to his shoulders. Clad in a plain fitting black shirt and his disheveled and dusty military cargo pants tucked in his equally worn-out combat boots. 

“For disobeying your orders, Sir. I didn’t mean to, it’s just that I heard Private Seo was wounded and I-” 

“Wounded soldiers get taken back to the base if they couldn’t bear it anymore. Private Seo was simply grazed by a bullet in his thigh, one that every soldier was trained to disregard or endure. But you…” He lifted your arm by a gentle inch, “You’re not trained to do exactly such, aren’t you?” 

You shook your head in acknowledgement, knowing very well that the fleet of nurses and medics accompanying the military corps had close to no training at all. 

“Disobedience has no room here. Those who do get sent off back to the quarters, some end up being stripped off their ranks, others even dead. You’re a nurse, you’re supposed to assist and help my men. Not the other way around.” He finally stood up from being seated in front of you, calloused hands detaching from your elbows and discarding the soiled cotton just beneath the table. 

You stood up from his cot, not wanting to take too much time in his room - the only one in the base camp divided from the others per his request. Knowing that the others, namely the nurses who took a liking on the striking and attractive Commander Kim Minseok would start talking if your stay exceeds that of the acceptable duration. 

“Thank you, Commander. And I’m sorry for the trouble, I’ll make sure to follow your orders from now on.” You bowed in courtesy, him just responding with the slightest nod. So you decided to turn to leave, only to be stopped when he called your name once you’re a breath away from the opening of his tent. 

“Take care of yourself.” He simply regards, although considering the situation it was more of a command itself. 

“You too, Sir.” Answering with a smile before you headed back to the medic’s tent. 

Sleep hardly ever visited you as the cut on your arm made an unbearable discomfort ring throughout your whole body the whole night. And no twist and turn made on your cot was careful enough to rid you of the sting, and then you think that maybe Commander Kim was undeniably right. But he didn’t train for years on end and spent his days on the field only to make uncalculated instructions and faulty commands, you should’ve known better than to disregard his words. 

But your heart, one that’s full of thoughtfulness and undefiled care towards others is what called you to the field line. The moment Lt. Oh came back with his hand on his bloodied arm, your instincts went on full alert. That this was, in fact, a war - a serious and costly result of political misunderstanding between two opposing governments, and you were the pawns at play. That you were far from the comfort of what used to be dull and ominous silence of the urban hospital you’ve worked for. Long gone were the busy hallways marred by sudden calls of emergency that become coldly abandoned at night. Such silence was traded to the constant presence of the noise, the rhythm of the clicks and bangs that signify the loss of another life and triumph for another. The spotless crisp white uniform was shelved in exchange of your own camouflage military uniform.  The sound of the emptying gun barrels and utilized bombs would eventually be disregarded by your body, they say. But now, you still find yourself fazed by the commotion, the unending loss of lives, the sight of blood still setting you into a mode of urgency rather than being the source of assurance. 

And when you heard that the young, gleeful and charismatic Private Seo, who was always polite and cheerful towards you was injured in the battle, your senses followed its own accord. With your packed metal first aid kit, you braved to walk alone in the trail leading to the front lines. Your body trying hard to disregard the continuous uproar of artillery and pungent smell of gunpowder filled the air. Instead trying to focus on the sound of twigs snapping beneath your heavy combat boots. The two way radio strapped on your belt was asking for a receiving end, but your adrenaline rush didn’t put you in the mood to listen to your superior’s nagging.

It only took a few minutes for you to be able to see the troops ducked behind elevated land. Newer privates on the floor with their hands sturdily fighting against the recoil of their rifles, other tactical lieutenants had their eyes on their binoculars, and the man in charge had his eyes trained on you with his face painted with confusion. 

Guilt and nervousness crept up your nerves when you realized that Commander Kim saw you - near the front lines, when he purposefully told every member of the medical corps to stay in the camp and wait for the incoming supplies as the troops take hold of the sudden attack a hundred meters east. 

You saw his forehead slowly curl into a frown, and you almost ran back to the camp if not for the sudden cold object brazing your arm. Your mouth dropped open in shock, your right hand letting go of the metal kit. Your world suddenly spun at a slower rate, your right hand clenching your left wounded arm as the kit fell down to the ground, sterilized gauze being soiled and antiseptic bottles rolling down the dusty pebbled ground. 

Red arterial blood stained your camo, eventually flowing down your arms. It was a light graze, not penetrating your flesh as a whole. Your startled self has still yet to comprehend the situation when you felt a pair of hands envelop your arms. And the pair of eyes that were wore a confused expression meters away from you was now a few inches away, bearing an emotion distinct with anger or annoyance.

“Why the fuck are you here?” Commander Kim asked as he put pressure just above your wound, hindering blood flow. 

“I-” Your voice faltered in a mix of nervousness and sheer shock. 

“Didn’t I say that every nurse or aide is supposed to stay in station? Not in the fucking front lines!” He spoke to you the same way as he would to his soldiers and subordinates. As his free hand retrieved a handkerchief from his back pocket, quickly unfolding it and tying it just where his hands put pressure at. Securing the cloth tightly as a tourniquet. 

“Stay behind the walls, and don’t do anything or don’t go anywhere unless I instruct you to. Go!” He said, power and authority imminent in his roaring voice, and you’d be an imbecile not to follow. 

Quickly gathering the contents of the unfortunate medical kit, you ran towards the large and safely thick concrete wall that he told you to hide behind. There, you saw Private Seo, with his right thigh covered in blood. Your instinct aptly reacted and put first aid and disinfected his deep wound. You didn’t even notice the minutes pass when the dutiful commander declared the area clear and ordered everyone to retreat. Fatigue and hunger evident in each and every soldier’s face and in the way they pant in their shallow breaths. Understandable by the fact that they roamed out of the base at the early hours of morning but now it was past dawn. Yet Commander Kim still wore his fierce and unforgiving face, one that you felt was directed towards you. 

Minseok Kim is widely regarded in his field as one of the best young soldiers, quickly climbing up the ranks with his tactics and undeniable strength and endurance. Soldiers either envied him or wanted to be like him, and the other nurses of your age were sure to admire him. His unforgivingly pleasing physique combined with the soft features of his face would easily drive anyone crazy. But your possible attraction was overshadowed by intimidation. 

He never failed to make you feel unfitting in his unit, always keen to point out how you would zone out a few times in operation. You’d gladly take it as constructive criticism, he’s a perfectionist who wants nothing but the best for his troops. He’ll always reprimand everyone in the unit. But his judging glares that you have caught a few times makes you feel unwelcome or compared - two things that you’re not comfortable at. 

And maybe it wasn’t the sting of the bullet that grazed your skin open that was keeping you awake. It could very well be the fact that he dragged you to his own tent, one that you thought was of anger or frustration from your disobedience. Yet you still twist and turn regardless of the pain of your limbs, thinking of how he silently insisted to be the one to dress your wounds. But you tried not to put much weight and meaning on something that is written on air and can be easily misinterpreted. 

The next few days was marked by silence within the camp. No external orders or warnings from the regional captain was heard, and other surveillance lieutenants reported no intruder within sight or jurisdiction. It was a much needed period of rest for the overworked troops, yet you can’t help but think of the possible consequences of such tranquility. 

“Commander Kim?” You called out from the outside of his much secluded private tent. It’s been two days since you’ve seen him, some say that he’s taking his time alone to rest. Some even say that he values isolation to make credible and better decisions on the field. But 2nd Lt. Park was quick to spread the rumors that the commander was could be ill based on his observations when he talked to him. 

So with a tray filled with stale military camp soup which you tried and improve as much as the existing resources could accompanied by a few fruits. To try and reciprocate the courtesy he has graciously shown you a few days ago. 

The sun has been already long gone in the horizon and stars have started to shimmer in the dark sky. It has always been a silver lining on living in a camp, miles away from the cities and modern civilization, to see the night sky and nature unrivaled by the concrete jungle. The barely audible chit chat and a few laughs of the soldiers resting a couple of feet away from the tent was the only thing your ears could sense, other than the few rustlings of metals in the kitchen not so far away. 

“Sir?” You called once more, loud enough to let him hear if he was awake but not enough to bother him if he was asleep. Counting down to five, you planned to leave if he still wouldn’t answer at the fifth. One - you sadly looked at the thin strip of carrot floating on the equally depressing canned soup you acquired from the supply box. Two - both of the bananas were meticulously selected from the limited options, making sure you’d get the most presentable ones. Three- for a second, you wonder why you put such immense effort into this. It’s not like Minseok is the kind of man to judge the black spots on such a mundane thing. Or why you’re even here in front of his tent in general. You yourself doubt if being thankful for his deed was the sole motive. Four - 

“What are you doing here?” A rather hoarse voice stopped you from counting at the very last second. You looked at him, with his eyes puffy and his short black hair in an unkempt state. All tell tale signs that he wasn’t in a good form. 

“I brought you food, Sir.” You answered thriftily, wrists lifting the tray a little. Minseok’s eyes trailed towards it. “I haven’t seen you either lunch or dinner so I figure you might need a little.” 

He looked at you, not at the food you carried but your eyes, his gaze intense and unpredictable. A silent second passed before he opened the flaps of his tents wider and moved to the sides, a small nod of the head gesturing you to come in - so you followed suit. Taking a few small calculated steps inside his tent, you set down the tray on the small table opposite to his bed. 

The moment you looked back at him, you saw Minseok lean over one foot. Visibly having a hard time walking and limping back to his bed. 

“What happened to you? Sit down please.” You said, almost sounding as if you’re in a panic. 

“It’s nothing.” He responded dismissively, before limping yet again back to his chair. 

“I need to check your foot.” You squatted in front of is right foot, holding his leg gently. 

“I already said it’s nothing.” Assertiveness and persistence was in his voice.

“I can’t let anyone here not be fit, let alone the commander. Just let me do my job, Minseok.” You only realized what you called him when it was already out of your mouth, but you tried hard to not falter. 

A small low chuckle reverberated from his fine lips, “What did you just call me?” He said, void of any authority that is commonly heard from him, rather filled with a mocking tone. 

“Sir, just let me check your ankle. You wouldn’t be able to be the commander that our unit needs if you aren’t fit.” Sucking in all might and composure from the suffocating atmosphere between the two of you. 

You’re used to being bossed around, shown authority by people who just rank higher than you. Whether that be the doctors you worked with before, or the military training officers you lived with for two months. Yet his influence over you exceeds that of the professional. Knowing very well that his rank isn’t the sole reason of your intimidated nature over him. Minseok’s eyes were enough to make the shades of pink and red play on your cheeks and give birth to a thousand butterflies to prance around your stomach. The way his physique is highlighted by his uniform, how his camouflage pants fit him perfectly. His jacket folded neatly with precision hugging the form of his well trained strong biceps. The puffiness of his cheeks that doesn’t seem to be congruent to his robust body. All of these accompanied by his distinct leadership and the dominance he naturally exudes above everyone. His affect on you is certainly not that of the professional, one can even consider it highly unprofessional. 

He finally sat properly on his chair, finally letting you untie the tight shoelaces of his combat boots. The silent hiss that escaped his mouth as you removed his boots was a sign enough that this was not a simple concussion.

When his boot was fully removed, your eyes examined his ankles. Painted with a mix of blues and red around the areas, so lump and swollen that you wonder how he was able to endure constricting such thing in his tight boots. 

“This seems fractured or dislocated. I need to get bandages in the quarters, wait up.” You stood in front of him, but he grasped your hand in time before you started taking steps out. 

“There’s bandages there, don’t let anyone know. I don’t want them to know that I’m injured or unfit.” Minseok said, or more of dictated towards you. 

Following aptly, you scanned the makeshift drawer just beside his sleeping bag. Full of all kinds of first aid medications and his two way radio. You got the essentials and faced his direction to your left once again. “You need to lie down as I do it, we wouldn’t want more blood to rush down your foot.” 

Still limping, he stood up from the canvas chair he was seated on before you assisted him on sitting down his sleeping bag. One that’s obviously more stuffed than the others’ probably Commander’s perks, you thought. 

He sat with his legs stretched out before you sat beside his right foot, hands occupied with bandages and disinfectant. It hasn’t been long ago when you’ve been in the same tent with a scenario not so different from the current, only that the receiving end is flipped.

You gently dabbed the cotton doused with disinfectant on his foot, first cleaning the area as it possibly could have cuts or dirt from being closed inside a tight shoe. “How did this happen? Is this why you rarely went outside your tent the past few days?” 

“I’m the commander. I wouldn’t want my troops to see me limping around camp. I’m the one supposed to lead, not one to be taken care of.” He said emptily, with his signature indifferent tone. 

“Well, my job here is to take care of all troops. Which includes you, commander.” You stated, trying to sound soft and not degrade him. “How did you get this?” 

“I got that by rushing to this unit member that got injured but wasn’t supposed to be on the field line.” He said, a trace of amusement and mockery present in his face. A flush of embarrassment quickly flooded your senses. 

“I’m sorry, Sir.” You said truthfully, as you proceeded to wrap his ankle with bandage. Carefully adjusting the tightness of it to make sure he wouldn’t be in pain but also snug enough to support his ankle. 

A minute of silence enveloped both of you as you continued to tend to Minseok’s injuries. “Why were you such in a hurry to help Private Seo, anyway? Any attachments?” 

You let out a short laugh on his sudden question. “What? Jinyoung is like a younger brother to me. He’s a nice guy, we get to talk. But it was purely out of adrenaline, nurse’s instincts.” You answered. “I don’t think having attachments here is allowed, or a good thing at least.” 

Minseok suddenly blurted a hearty laugh. “Here? Come on, we all know what happened between Haein and Yura. I could bet on it that most of your nurse friends also has one of their own in the troops.” He said, an amused smile present on his face. And you couldn’t help but admire how his cheekbones pop out more when he does. 

“Is that so, commander? Why don’t you have yours?” You tried to tease him, even if you’re aware that you shouldn’t be doing so. 

Letting out a deep sigh, Minseok shifted his seat a little bit. His head now leaning on the drawer beside him. “My focus is on the task at hand, Y/N.” 

You simply nodded at his answer, understanding well the weight it must be to command a whole team. To be in charge of not just a unit but to make decisions that can cost lives. You experience a little of the same pressure when handling lives, but that of Minseok’s was a bigger responsibility. In his hands lies not only a single life but all fifty people in the same camp as you, and a wrong command or decision can lose so much. 

Holding the bandage at place with a clip, you started cleaning the materials you’ve used and discarded before he spoke again. “Can you call me by my name again?” 

Your forehead contorted in his bizarre request. “I don’t think I should do that, Sir.” You bargained. 

“You already did earlier.” 

“I couldn’t just address my commander by first name.” You said simply, deliberately declining his request. 

“As your commander you should do what I tell you, or you just have a knack for disobedience?” Minseok said, eyes full of childish playfulness as he tried to tease you. “Okay, Minseok. Try to not overexert your right foot, I could bring you food in here if you want to as you obviously wouldn’t opt for crutches.” Your right hand touched the sides of his neck, feeling for his body temperature. “As expected, you have a light fever due to your injury. Drink lots of water and maybe drink aspirin if it still wouldn’t die down. Hope you got that, Minseok.” 

Electricity swarmed through your body when he put his hand over yours. Your skin encased in the heat of his neck and his palm, a blush started to play on your cheeks as a result of his sudden action. You would’ve talked, but your voice was hitched down your throat, not knowing how to react. 

“It feels good to hear that again, to be called that again.” You were stuck staring at the sincerity in his eyes as you feel his index finger graze over your knuckles. So gentle and light that it sent tingles in your spine. “Being called commander all day puts such a burden on my shoulders, such pressure. Hearing my name made me feel grounded, human again.” He said with an intentful smile. 

Shooting an earnest smile back at him, his fingers trailed further. From your wrist, ever slowly and lightly that it felt as if he’s slowly lighting a fire within your soul. He finally stopped on your healing wound, still red yet already drying. The pads of his fingertips softly feeling the area. 

“Does it still hurt?” He asked, face ridden with utmost concern. You were only able to muster shaking your head, as your current disposition is all but expected to you. 

“Good. Take care of yourself, always.” You still sat in silence beside him as he took your hand and put it just over his lips, putting a chaste kiss on your knuckles before just holding it in his hand. “Because if you wouldn’t, then I’d have to do that myself. Is that what you ask for?” 

The unusual situation also stirred up some unwarranted confidence deep within you, “If I do, would you?” You almost whispered, trying to hold back what you almost said yet not being able to do so. 

“Only if you let me,” Minseok’s hands were now suddenly on your elbow, tugging you strong enough to have your hands on his shoulders for support as he leans on the drawer. You’re still sat beside him with your legs splayed out to the left. “The same way I’d only kiss you if you let me.” 

His breathing was unstable below you, deep and full of uncertainty. As you still try and digest the situation, the sudden expression of a long hidden desire insisting you to express your reciprocation too. 

“I don’t think I’m the one to give permissions between the both of us, Commander.”

And that vague consent was all it took for him to snap his last thread of restrictions. With his hand grasping your right arm, he pulled you into a warm and devout kiss. Your lips slowly getting acquainted to his, the supple and softness despite your surroundings. How he tasted, sweet and clean. Your other senses memorizing how he smelled, his own manly musk that only invited you in even more. 

Your grip on his shoulders tightened as his teeth tugged on your lower lip, a wonderfully pleasurable sting. It was only moments after that when Minseok’s tongue was introduced in your liplock, teasingly playing with yours as his hands press against your nape. Pulling you even more towards him as if there’s no other place for you to exist but beside him. 

He kissed you as if it was the one thing he was born to do, and you returned the favor. Kissing him with such fervor and eagerness that it would feel that you existed to do only such thing. Both running out of breath, you were forced to part. Hands staying in the same place as the two of you chased for air with shallow breathing. 

“I-” You started off, before realizing that you either have nothing to say or it’s too much to speak. 

“Stop me now while I still can.” Minseok begged breathlessly, his fingers slowly entangling itself in your hair. It took you awhile to regard the fast rising of his chest. How, in probably the first time you saw him, he looked out of control and impulsive. Minseok’s eyes full of intent and his lips swollen from your kisses. 

And the only response you were able to give was to pull him back closer and put his lips back on yours. 

His hands slid from your nape to your waist as you put your legs over his and straddling him in the end. Carefully doing so as to not hurt nor affect his injured ankle in the process. Your hands worked on autopilot as they unbuttoned his military jacket, caressing his hard chest in between. 

You felt the temperature around you rise a couple of degrees the moment he slid out of his jacket. Finally seeing his naked torso in all its glory, void of scars and skin almost as smooth as one from fantasy. Your breathing was the one to go uneven as your fingertips caressed his soft skin laying over his strong muscles. An image of wonderful near-perfection, and you could only bask in his presence. 

“Your majesty.” You called him teasingly, which left the two of you chuckling. You just sat on his lap as his hands slowly snaked from resting on your hips to action while removing your jacket. His eyes slowly training downwards with each button freed, carefully cherishing the moment as he revealed more of you inch by inch. Minseok’s eyes were full of desire as you finally shook off your jacket, leaving you only in your bra as you sat over him. 

“You wear this here?” He asked, as his fingers the straps. Slowly feeling the lace material of your undergarments. 

“Yes, it has.. It has always been what I usually wear.” You answered trying to hide your shame. As how much of an oxymoron would it be for a woman to wear a dainty lace bra while situated in a battlefield?

“Unbelievable.” He lightly shook his head, as his hands found its way back to your now unclothed waist. Pulling you even more closer to him so now you directly sit on his clothed crotch. 

“I’ve always believe you don’t belong here.” Minseok spoke once more, earning a curious look as your response. “Sweet, delicate, and pristine. Unforgivingly filled with such concern for others that she’ll run off to a battlefield in concern for others.” His right hand was now tracing your back as his left was slowly moving up and down your thigh. 

“You don’t belong here, an undeniable misfit. You stick out in this mess, this chaos, this dusty and unsafe battlefield by being yourself. I’ve always saw how delicate you are, how you sweetly talk to others and how your eyes shine at random things.” Minseok continued. “And it’s been painful for me. I’m used in uniformity, in the plainness of it all. And to have you here in my unit has been torture. Sweet, sweet, torture.” 

Minseok scooted closer to your ears, lightly kissing and nibbling the soft flesh as you hear his breathing.

“You think it’s easy not being the only one to appreciate you? To see every fucking private or seargeant pin their eyes on you when you walk down the lunch rooms? You just shine, so damned bright that you got each and every one of us looking.” Both of his hands now found its way in your back, unclasping your bra in one swift movement.

“But this? This is beyond. Way beyond to keep me out of my sanity.” He said, leaning back as he pulled down the straps of your bra. The cloth softly crashing down between you and the cold air lingers at your now hard and attentive nipples. 

“Because as unfitting as you are here in the field, you fit so fucking well with me.” Minseok leaned forward once again, putting an agonizingly chaste kiss on your neck. “How your neck was carved to accommodate me, how you just sit perfectly on my lap, making my dick tormentingly hard as you do so.” Your body was set on fire with his lustful voice and his vulgar choice of words. 

How you wish his hands that was preoccupied with your hips would go a bit higher, just where you want him.

 “And this..” His free hand cupped one of your breasts, you let out a moan in the contact. Minseok’s index finger gently formed circles on your hard nipples as his other fingers groped your breast. “Do you feel how flawless this fits?” 

You quickly nodded in agreement, as his hands felt so good on your sensitive area. “Kiss me, Minseok.” You pleaded for his touch, which he gracefully granted. 

The kiss was now fiery and urgent, as if you’d both die if this shall end. It was fervent and hungry as both of your hands roam around each others bodies. You started from his biceps, and now clasping his hard back. But his hands were more decidedly vulgar, as Minseok’s hands cupped your heat. Fingers teasingly playing back and forth over your clothed sensitivity. 

He chuckled playfully on how your face would look while his other hand toyed with your nipple. So needy and willing, melting in his hands and right on top of him the way he wants to. Minseok finally decided to rid you of your trousers, pulling down your panties the same time. And he was quick to admire how you looked naturally beautiful sitting naked on top of him. And it made him crazier with the display of how much you wanted this too, given away by how you drenched his pants with your wetness. But as much as your own desire, it would never amount to how much he wants this - how much he wants you. 

“You make me crazy, you know that?” He exclaimed as his hand found its way to your naked heat. His index finger playfully teasing your warmth and playing with the wetness. 

“Please, Minseok.” You exclaimed too lustfully, as your own fire has been kept at bay by his ministrations. 

“So fucking crazy, my princess.” You lost control over the volume of your moans when his thumb found your clit while he continuously played with your slit. His other hand well rested at your back for support. Minseok’s eyes just wandered all over each and every crevice of your body, admiring how the dimly lit place accentuates your form. How the small lighting still shines on your skin. Admiring every line that formed on your skin, every inch of you that was so willing for him. It made him harder when he thinks how you, in your own free will, is now sitting naked on top of him all wet and ready for and because of him. 

Yet the noise and amazement in his head wasn’t mirrored as your mind went blank on the pleasure as he puts varying pressure and movements over your sensitive bud. Your hands scratching the bareness of his back as the other desperately claws for anchorage in his short black hair. 

“Minseok-” You muttered as he inserted a finger inside you, to easily as you’re now drenched. He just watches with a smile how your face contorted in pleasure. He took time in readying you and pleasuring you.

“Minseok please, please fuck me.” You pleaded. “I can’t take it anymore I want you inside me.” 

He let out a playful laugh on how needy you are. “As much as I would like to, princess, you would have to do that for us. Can you?” 

You quickly understood what he meant. Considering his current injury, you need to take it from here. And admittedly, it wouldn’t be a problem for you. You just desperately need to feel him fill you up. 

You didn’t respond by words, rather by unhesitatingly unbuckling his belt. You did it so fast it almost looked like you’re running out of time or being chased by someone. A moan escaped your lips the moment you freed his hard erection from the limits of his clothing. You eagerly encased his dick in your hands, pumping it a few times that made him breathlessly moan your name. 

Not wanting to take any longer, you positioned himself beneath you. Before slowly lowering down yourself, filling your existence with his length. 

“Fuck, you feel so good.” You can’t help but say out loud as you slowly settled on his lap. Reconnecting your lips eagerly and sharing a more passionate kiss as you adjusted to his presence. 

You started excruciatingly slowly for him, he wanted all of you and all you can give as he was in no position to take control. Yet Minseok let you cherish every inch and every feeling, and took the time to ingrain in his mind how you looked as he fucked you. But as insatiable as he is, his hand travelled down your clit once more, adding more pleasure to your system. 

You started moving at a faster rhythm, and the silent surroundings was plagued by the slick sounds and moans coming from the both of you. Minseom groaned your name as you hungrily and eagerly moved above him, pleasuring the both of you. He planted kisses everywhere he could reach, sucking harsh violet marks on your neck and on your breast. Fueled by his desire to make you his. 

“Am I not hurting you?’ You asked amidst your movement, breathless and high pitched in pleasure. His hands never stopped playing with your nipples and clit and it sent your senses into overdrive. 

“I’m currently inside you and you think I would mind my fucking ankle?” You both laughed at his remark and you pounded harder and faster above him. Your movement was now in cadence with the way he pushed his hips upward, filling you more than ever. 

“I’m so close, Minseok!” You exclaimed, every little action of his hands amplified the cloud on your mind.

“Cum for me, baby.” He commanded. And it didn’t even take long before everything else was shut off by your mind, your high led you seeing in white. You senses elated in the most overwhelming sense as he continued fucking you below as he chased his own climax. 

You got off of him as he started to release white strings of pleasure. Your hands took place pumping his length to make sure he’ll ride his high well. 

“Fuck, fuck that feels so good.” He was unashamed in his words as he cummed on your hands. All messy, hot and sticky as you lay beside him. Beads of sweat evident in your forehead as you chase your breaths back into sanity. 

Your head sat on his arm as he put his other arm around you, unspeaking yet filled with so much emotion and sensation. 

“The next time, I’ll be the one in charge.” He spoke against your ear, still breathless as his toned chest rapidly rises and falls.

“There’s a next time?” You asked jokingly, even if you want so much more than this being a one time deal.

“The very moment this damned ankle heels, you’re mine again.” Minseok exclaimed. 

“Only then? I thought I’ll be yours all the time, now?” You teased with a smile, and his teeth also display in amusement.

“Much better, princess.”

[k-pop-imagines]

Aurora || Chapter 2

> Aurora Masterlist <

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x OC

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: none

A/N: This is probably the longest chapter of anything I have ever written, wow. Seonghwa makes his first appearance in this chapter, that’s all I’m going to say.  I hope you enjoy! - Admin Soomi

° AUFREGUNG °

-> excitement, anxiety, commotion

When she woke up the next morning and took a look in the mirror, she could only sigh at her appearance. Her mother was only joking at dinner but after a night of restless sleep, the circles under Yeseul’s eyes seemed a lot more prominent than usual. She put on a light layer of casual makeup to hide the fatigue on her face. 

Her mother had already left for work and even though it was very early in the morning, she had left her a reassuring note, a lunch box, and a small plate of fresh pancakes on the kitchen table. She hadn’t eaten those in ages! Her father used to make them every Sunday but after moving to Seoul, eating pancakes became nothing more than a pleasant memory. Yeseul dug in and despite her stomach demonstrating a little because of her nervousness, she tried to enjoy her special breakfast as much as she could. They were different than the ones they ate in Germany, but she appreciated that her mother had taken the time to prepare them for her. 

After finishing her meal and once more making sure that she looked presentable, she went on her way to the agency. Lucky for her, the building was only a few subway stops away from her home so it took her about 20 minutes to reach her destination. The first thing she noticed, was the 7/11 on the ground floor next to the agency’s entrance. That would surely prove to be convenient.

Yeseul hesitated at the door that would lead her to KQ Entertainment. First, her excitement and anxiety were fairly well balanced, but within a few seconds, the latter doubled and overpowered her. This was her dream but all the doubts and worries she had managed to push away last night, came crashing down on her again. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Before she could let her thoughts get the better of her, she pressed the doorbell. No turning back now. 

“Hello?” “Uhh, hello. I’m Hwang Yeseul and I have an appointment for 8 am.” God, why did that sound she was here to see a doctor? Stop overthinking, she quickly reprimanded herself. “Ah, yes! Come up please.” 

The door buzzed and she hesitantly entered the building. The stairway she found herself in was bright, mostly white and grey but a few potted plants made sure it didn’t look too sterile. She walked up to the 3rd floor where she was greeted by a man who introduced himself as Kang Haejun, the same person she had talked to on the phone last night. He was a head taller than her, a bit chubby and addressed her with a warm smile that reached his eyes. “Welcome, I’m glad to see you! Please follow me, the CEO is ready to talk to you.” 

Yeseul followed him through the office. She politely greeted a few people but didn’t have a lot of time to look around. The place wasn’t very big but she assumed they occupied more than this one floor as she hadn’t seen any practice rooms or studios yet. At the far end of a corridor, Mr. Kang knocked on a door and sent her inside after getting a short “Come in.” from the other side. 

She carefully entered what she realized to be the CEO’s office and closed the door behind her. 

A man behind the desk stood up and motioned for her to sit down. As soon as she took her seat opposite him, she suddenly felt very vulnerable. The CEO seemed like a friendly man but he was still the person who would be in charge of her future, whose hands she’d be putting her career in. 

“I’m Kim Gyuwook and as you’ve already heard, we want you to train under our agency. I’ve got the contract prepared but I’d like to discuss the conditions and rules with you beforehand. It’s also very important to me that I get to know my trainees a little before I allow them to start training. So, I have a few questions.” Yeseul nodded shyly and he continued. “Don’t be nervous, though, I won’t interrogate you.” 

He pulled out a piece of paper which she recognized to be the profile she had sent in with her application. 

“Your profile says you speak English, German, and Korean fluently.” “Yes. I grew up bilingual, my mother is Korean and my father German. I also started learning English at a very young age.” "Do you speak any other languages?” “I learned French in school but I don’t speak it too well anymore. I forgot everything except for the basics after graduating, to be honest.” 

The CEO let out a small laugh. “I feel like that’s a common theme for French learners somehow.” 

He took a few notes before going on.

“Are you working right now or studying at university?”

“I currently work part-time at a convenience store. I already talked to the owner and I can schedule my shifts in a way that they wouldn’t coincide with practice hours.” 

“That’s good. Now, why exactly do you want to become a trainee, or rather, an idol?”

She knew that question would be asked eventually and she had thought about how she would answer countless times before. “Back when I lived in Germany, I discovered K-Pop when I was going through kind of a rough patch. The music helped me become a happier person again and inspired me to become a singer. I want to stand on stage and give the same kind of encouragement and motivation to other people.” 

“I’m sure you’re aware that this won’t be easy. You might not actually debut anytime soon. In fact, there’s a chance you might never debut. It all depends on you and your determination.”

“I’m willing to go through it and take the risks if it means I get to do what I love and dream of.”

“Very well.” He gave her a satisfied smile and moved on. 

“It’s not a secret that all entertainment companies have a variety of rules for their trainees to follow and we are of course no exception. They are all mentioned in the contract but I would like to go over them with you so that there won’t be any misunderstandings.” Mr. Kim handed her a list of regulations and explained each of them thoroughly. 

Yeseul was allowed to have a cellphone but usage during classes and schedules was not permitted. She was also not allowed to post on social media from now on. 

Trainees were not allowed to date at all and artists had a dating ban until two years after their debut.

However, they didn’t care too much about keeping their male and female trainees apart, unlike other companies she heard of that wouldn’t even let them be in the same room together. “You know, how it works. If you forbid them, they will try to meet in secret all the more. There’s nothing wrong with making friends but if we do notice anyone getting too distracted though, we will take appropriate measures”, he explained. 

No smoking, drinking, or taking drugs. That one was fairly obvious. 

The part she was wondering about the most was the weight regulations. “There will be weekly weigh-ins. There is a weight range stated in your contract that you should stay in. We expect our trainees to be able to take care of appropriate calorie intake and healthy workout on their own. Unless you exceed that range or fall below it, we won’t be regulating your diet or putting you on a work-out routine.” 

She considered that a fair amount of freedom. 

Yeseul also had the choice to move into a dorm with some of the other female trainees but she decided not to as she didn’t live too far away from the company anyway. 

“Now, let’s talk about your training schedule. I don’t think I need to tell you that your vocals are great. There’s always room for improvement but you already have a good technique and stability.” Yeseul had taken singing lessons for a few years and actually felt fairly confident when it came to that. She dreaded what she knew was coming next, though. 

“However, your dancing is lacking.” She looked away in embarrassment. She had made sure to practice and learn a few basics before auditioning but she was well aware that she was definitely not very talented. 

“There’s potential, don’t worry. It’s nothing our dance teachers can’t fix. Some of our trainees started out way worse and managed to become decent dancers. You’ll just have to practice a lot more than others. Which is why you will also be taking more dance classes than singing classes to get you on one level with the others.” 

That made sense. “In addition to that, you will also be taking Japanese, acting, and modeling classes. Evaluations are once a week, every Saturday, and you will be recording demos in the studio every second week. Lessons in general start at 2pm every day as most of the trainees still go to school in the morning but you can practice on your own at every time of the day. Sundays are off.” 

He slid her a piece of paper with her schedule. Today, she would have vocal lessons at 2pm and dance lessons from 4pm to 8pm but as there were evaluations, she would only be watching and starting the real training on Monday.

“Be aware that if you don’t meet our expectations during evaluations or break any of the rules, the contract will be terminated.”

She voiced her understanding and after a few more questions from the CEO, he handed her the contract and showed her where to sign. She read through everything twice as he watched patiently, then signed, ready to start this new part of her life. 

It was almost 10am when Kim Gyuwook dismissed her from his office with a handshake and wished her good luck. She still had a few hours until vocal lessons were supposed to start so she contemplated going home and taking a nap when Kang Haejun walked up to her offered her a tour around the agency. She gratefully agreed. 

He showed her around the office first, introducing her to a few people she would regularly be working with personally. Everyone was busy but still found the time to give her at least a friendly smile or wave. Just like she expected, KQ Entertainment occupied multiple levels of the building. The 3rd consisted of the office and various meeting rooms. He then led her down to the 2nd floor where the practice rooms and studios were located. She couldn’t take a look inside any of the rooms yet as almost all of the trainees were busy practicing for the evaluations but she made a mental note on where she would find the rooms later. There was also a small kitchen and break rooms with sofas on both of the floors. While showing her around, Mr. Kang also answered any other questions she had. 

He told her that they were currently training a total of 7 trainees including her. They had about 12 male trainees but apparently, eight of them were already training separately as they would be debuting as a group sometime in the second half of the year. He also let her know that she was actually one of the oldest trainees, being born in August of 1998. It made her worry a little. She knew that most trainees started their training at a way younger age. She was 19 years old now, could that be considered too old already? Would it lower her chances of debuting? She decided not to worry too much. If she was too old they wouldn’t have accepted her in the first place.

After the tour, more detailed explanations and an extensive Q&A session it was almost 12pm. She felt a little bad for taking up Mr. Kang’s time but he reassured her that it was actually his job to introduce the new trainees to everything and make sure they felt comfortable. He also gave her his number and told her to contact her if she had any more questions or worries before returning to his office. 

It didn’t make sense for Yeseul to go home before practice anymore. She remembered the lunch box her mother had packed her but decided to save it for later as she didn’t really feel like eating because of her nervousness. Still, she should eat at least something small, so she decided to head down to the convenience store to get a snack, something to reward herself taking this important step and to maybe even calm her nerves a little. 

The young woman headed downstairs into the 7/11, where was greeted by a friendly, elderly man. She bowed with a smile before she started browsing. 

As she walked through the narrow aisle, looking for an appropriate snack to celebrate today’s events, a group of boys entered the store. “We should get some chips for later!” “Aren’t you on a diet?” “Hyung, don’t be like that! I’ll just work out extra hard next week.” 

She scanned the shelves and couldn’t help but quietly snicker at their bickering. She looked over at them for a second, counting three young men. Yeseul didn’t pay them too much attention, even though they were hard to ignore, and instead continued her search. Just as she was about to grab a chocolate bar, her eyes landed on the freezer. It was February, still cold outside, and she had just been told about the weight regulations. Was it really appropriate to buy ice cream now? Yes, it is, Yeseul decided. It was one of her comfort foods so she shrugged, opened the door of the freezer and reached up. Whoever had put her favorite ice cream on the highest shelf surely must hold a personal vendetta against her. She wasn’t tiny, only a few centimeters under average height but this was troublesome. Just as her fingertips brushed against the plastic packaging, a figure next to her reached out and handed the sweet treat to her. Yeseul’s face lit up in excitement and she quickly bowed to the kind stranger. “Thank you so much!” When she looked up, she was met with the shyly smiling face of a man around her age, part of the group who had caused the commotion. He seemed quieter than the other two though, who she could still hear arguing over which snacks to get. 

“It’s not a problem. Is Melona your favorite?” His was voice soothing and hinting curiosity even though he was nervously rubbing his neck. She nodded eagerly in response. “Yes! It’s the best thing to eat when you want to celebrate, even when it’s cold outside…” She mentally scolded herself for rambling. She couldn’t help it, the sudden inquiry surprised her. Not that she minded, he seemed friendly and wasn’t overbearing at all. Yeseul could see he was about to ask what exactly she was celebrating but his two friends interrupted him.

“Seonghwa-hyung, I will buy these chips now and you can’t stop me.” One of them said as he headed to the counter to pay. The other one motioned for your savior to come over as they were getting ready to head out. The stranger, apparently named Seonghwa, gave you an apologetic smile, you bowed and wished each other a good day before he left with his friends. 

Could it be that they were trainees as well? All three of them looked awfully handsome, they talked about dieting and working out, and went shopping right at this store. The fact that they were also dressed in sports clothes led her to make that assumption. At the same time, it could have just been a coincidence. At the latest, she’d find out if she ran into them at the agency. 

[haveyouseenthis]

GO生, Stray Kids | Review PART II

Pt. II

“...’God’s Menu’ was born”

Every second of the song captivated me. Every scene in the M/V was intriguing and sucked me in. I never rewatch M/Vs - ever. I’ve never been one to stream it a million times for the view count to go up. No way. My attention span is waay too short for that

“God’s Menu”, though. 

Wow.

I’ve had to have watched it 40 times since it came out, at least. And the thing is, it’s not my STAY self trying to accumulate views for the boys (although they do deserve it). It’s myself watching it just to watch it. It’s so good. I know exactly what scene is coming, the exact part. I know how the music is about to change and who is going to be center in the next shot, but despite this, it still gives me chills every time.

I think there are a couple reasons for that. One obviously being the song itself, but the other being the phenomenal camerawork. The cameramen and editors have always been the unsung heroes of k-pop and M/Vs in general, but they really outdid themselves this go-around. All the transitions were heavenly. You can tell they didn’t just throw them in there for shock value, but truly thought about where they would have the most impact.

The sets are also amazing. Somehow a transition from kitchen to construction site not only works, but is seamless. All the racetrack scenes also fit in perfectly. 

I started to ask myself why these sets worked so well together. What did a master chef’s kitchen, a construction site, and a racetrack have in common? Anything?

Well, maybe more than you think.

All around the world master chefs retreat into their kitchen to experiment with new recipes and cook up ones never seen before. At construction sites blueprints drawn up by architects are used to build amazing towers are intricate buildings. At the racetracks, old stars and rookies are holding onto their fame or making a name for themselves, fighting for the lead on every lap.

Stray Kids are cooking up their hits in the kitchen, laying the foundation for their success with their hardhats on, and then accelerating past all the competition.

As previously stated, “God’s Menu” is their best song, hands down. But every song on the album brings something to the table. Because of this, GO生 might just be their best release yet… 

My Top Five:

神메뉴 (God’s Menu)

Easy

비행기 (Airplane)

청사진 (Blueprint)

일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)

“God’s Menu” was hard-hitting hip hop in a way I haven’t heard or seen before from SKZ. As I’ve already said, it’s easily the best song they’ve released, including B-sides. Every verse is well crafted, the pre-chorus is catchy and serves as the nice mellow tone the song needed for the vocalists to really shine, and the chorus is a masterpiece of simple onamonapia and tangy flavor (see what I did there~) with strong choreography. The song is shockingly short, especially considering it’s a title track. However, it still feels solid. It’s a full course meal in less than three minutes. That’s so impressive, to me at least. I can’t be the only one who feels like the song is much longer than it is because it’s so immersive.

My favorite parts include Changbin’s “Yes, sir and ma’am / welcome” intro,  the first verse, and the second verse. Changbin’s intro sets the tone immediately. The “sir and ma’am” is almost sassy in context. It’s like he’s truly welcoming us into a restaurant, but there is that eerie undertone of “you don’t know what you’re in for”. I love that Han gets to rap the entire first verse. Not only does it make sense because he is a main rapper, but it sounds better than if it has been split between several people as verse 2 had. There is a clear split about halfway through the first verse where they could have switched to another member, but they stayed with Han, and I think that makes the song so much more powerful, especially since it comes at the beginning. Unlike verse one, verse two splits its lines between five different members. And it works perfectly. I wouldn’t have changed anything at all. Felix’s low voice oozes charisma and is the perfect way to pull listeners deeper into the song after the chorus, and Seungmin and I.N.’s cocky, drawing sound pairs perfectly with that. Chan’s voice and attitude fits wonderfully for his “자물쇠 따 싹 다 unlock / Idea bank 머릿속을 털어 털어” (“All the locks unlock / Idea bank, empty your head, empty it”) part. It’s also a fitting part for him as the main producer of the group. Hyunjin is the perfect person to wrap up the verse. His demanding attitude paired with his visuals as he says “비밀재료가 궁금하다면 / 사실 우린 그딴 거 안 써” (“Wonder what’s our secret ingredient / We don’t use such a thing”) deliver the line in a way no one else in the group could.

And, can we talk about that line for a minute, T? What a statement. It’s on the same flex level as “Daechwita”. “Oh, how are we so good? What’s our secret? How are we cutting corners to get here? We aren’t.”

I also really like that “Go Live,” “God’s Menu,” and “Easy,” feel like a trilogy. It’s a nice way to start the album because it gets the listener immersed immediately.

To have“Easy” follow “God’s Menu” is maybe the best decision made on this tracklist. Still just as proud and cocky as its predecessor, “Easy” talks about how Stray Kid’s don’t just turn the tables or meet expectations, they flip the table over and exceed the expectations - all with ease. 

My favorite part in “Easy” is the bridge, and I’ve found a few different translations of it:

Zaty Farhani’s “Easy” lyric video translates the bridge as “Showing off is all for show, what are you doing getting all scared? / The brave ugly-duckling turns the table / Let’s raise the stakes as you’ve wished / or do it my way”

Color Coded Lyrics’s (CCL) blog translates it as: “What’s the point of being braggy / When you’re just eating up your fear / A loser with courage will turn the tables around / Let’s make it to the next round, as you want / Or I’ll mess around with my own way”

Genius Lyrics translates the part as: “Your words are just bragging / What are you doing while being all coward? / A brave loser has overtook everything / Let's make this game even more big as you wanted / Or just screw it and do it my way”

All of them amount to about the same thing: “You have to show off and brag to prove your worth and rise to the top but we don’t. We know where we came from, and we know what we are, but we will go farther because of this. We’ll take over the world our way,”.

“비행기 (Airplane)” ends the “Go-God’s-Easy” trilogy with it’s lighter hip-hop sound. It’s a love song. The narrator speaks of taking an airplane to a vacation spot with his girlfriend as a metaphor for the two of them traveling to their own world where they can be happy together. What really draws me to this song is its style and sound. The track reminds me a little of “Mixtape : Gone Days”,  with it’s lighter feel. It’s a nice example of a lighthearted love song. I don’t have as much to say about this one, I just really like it. There isn’t any deep meaning in the lyrics for me to dive into (unless you’re into speculating the composer's relationship status. Bang Chan and Changbin wrote “Airplane” in collaboration with others so it’s possible the lyrics came from them or one of the other three composers. Maybe all of them are just good enough at imagining situations to write things like this. We’ll never know.)

“청사진 (Blueprint)” comes in 4th for me, but really 3rd-5th place may as well be equal. The three songs have the same energy to me, especially “Blueprint” and “Airplane”. I like “Blueprint” for its folk-inspired pop sound. It reminds me of AKMU, which I’m sure T digs. It’s not SKZ’s usual sound, but they sing it well and have made it their own. I smile every time it comes on. The lyrics have a wonderful message about overcoming and accomplishing your dreams despite the odds and the people out to get you. Very sweet, and the message reminds me of that of many of their old songs.

“일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)” is the closest thing to a ballad we’ve gotten from the boys.

The beginning count reminds me of NCT 127’s “Boom” and the overall sound reminds me of NCT Dream’s “Puzzle Piece”.

While the first time I listened to it I could easily tell it was a sad and mournful song about something, I wasn’t expecting to tear up while reading the lyrics on my 3rd listen.

It hurts so much. It’s so beautiful. The song tells the story of the narrator (Han wrote it, it’s absolutely about him and his anxiety) as he reflects on himself and his situation, wondering if he’s the only one feeling the way he is, wondering if he is the only one putting on an act every day, and wondering if it’s evening convincing.

But I guess that painfully beautiful tune fits with the message. The notes are so sweet they make you want to cry. And that’s how it feels to go through what the narrator is dealing with. Everything you’re doing looks beautiful. You seem perfect, but if anyone really takes time to listen, they will hear your hurt.

He was a young teenager and was forced to deal with so many pressures (“I’m still so young, but I have so many worries”/”So much worries for such a young child”) during training, and then debut.

After that line, we get to the hard truth of the industry. Of course companies care about their idols, but only to a point. After that, it’s “Just do what you're supposed to be doing well” and “Just do your job properly”. In other words, “Okay, great, you’re going through something. Get over it.”.

CCL translation: “When I pushed my way into this dark room / Did anybody bother to look back at me? / I barely managed to make it through this hard day / How many times did I smile, and were they genuine smiles? // I find the way I’m trapped in my thoughts funny / I’m still so young, but I have so many worries / Just do what you’re supposed to be doing well / Nobody knows anything about how empty my heart feels / And I hate how / All they know how to do is laugh it off”

Genius translation: “The day I forced my way into the dark room / Would at least one person have turned to look at me / Me, who barely lived through another day / How many times have I laughed, but were those sincere? // Myself deep in thought looks funny / So much worries for such a young child / Just do your job properly / Without knowing about my empty heart / Just laughing over it, I don't like that”

I think it’s fitting that the only parts Han gets opens and close the song. It just draws more attention to the fact that it’s his story. He’s opening the door for him and others to talk about their feelings, and once they’ve covered it all, he closes it back up. 

I don’t have too many complaints about this album. A couple, maybe.

One would be that  “TOP”, “SLUMP”, “Mixtape : Gone Days”, and “Mixtape : On Track/바보라도 알아” were released separate from this album, so they stick out from the other 10 tracks. I’m glad they were all grouped together at the end and not sporadically placed between songs like “Easy” and “Pacemaker”. 

“Gone Days” sticks out the most because of its playful hip-hoppy sound that is reminiscent of previous tracks such as “Awkward Silence” and “Get Cool”. I’m not particularly fond of the fact that it is the only one that sounds as it does, but I suppose it is just the same thing they did with “Get Cool” and “Awkward Silence”’s respective mini albums. Both songs were the only ones of their kind on their albums and feel a little out of place. I think I was able to get accustomed to it quicker as being on mini albums there was a smaller tracklist, therefore drastic tone changes between songs weren’t as novel. 

Go Live’s sound alternates (mainly) between two different styles. There are louder, harder hip-hop songs like “God’s Menu” “TA” and “Pacemaker”, and then we have what I’ve dubbed “The Quiet Trilogy” with “Airplane”, “Another Day”, and “Blueprint”. Songs like “Phobia” and “Haven” seen to sit solidly in between the two styles.

But “Gone Days” and “On Track” don’t sound like anything else on this tracklist. “Gone Days” has an over-saturated upbeat take on hip-hop, and “On Track” has a ballad inspired sound (honestly it vaguely reminds me of OSTs for dramas…) to it. This makes the transition from beginning of album to end shocking, and I’m not overly fond of that.

My other issue is that the rest of the track-list simply pales in comparison to its title track. “God’s Menu” was so powerful, so overwhelming for me that it made the rest of the album underwhelming.

Maybe that’s a compliment, actually? At least as far as “God’s” is concerned. I don’t know…

I think I’ll get used to it after a few more listens. (Future Kasin: I did and I love it <3)

One thing is for sure: if they master making every song deliver the same punch as “God’s Menu”, I’ll be done for.

I can’t wait to see what they do next.

Go Live on Spotify

Links PT II:

神메뉴 (God’s Menu) Lyrics (Han/Rom/Eng)

“Easy” lyric video

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids Discography

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids “Easy”

Genius Lyrics Stray Kids “Easy” English translation

Color Coded Lyrics Stray Kids “비행기 (Airplane)”

Genius Lyrics Stray Kids “비행기 (Airplane)”

Color Coded Lyrics “청사진 (Blueprint)” 

Genius Lyrics “청사진 (Blueprint)”

NCT 127 Boom

NCT Dream Puzzle Piece

Color Coded Lyrics “일상 (Another Day/Daily Life)”

Part I

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Movie 1: Broly (1/2)

This ended up taking longer than I expected, so I decided to break it up into sections.     The first Dragon Ball Super movie premiered in Japan on December 14, 2018, and then in the U.S. and Canada on January 16, 2019.   

After Resurrection F, just about every episode of Dragon Ball Super aired, and this movie takes place after all of that.    So just to get everyone up to speed: Beerus had a friendly tournament with his counterpart in Universe 6, and the King of Everything liked the idea so much that he threw his own event called the Tournament of Power, which saw eight universes square off in teams of ten.    But our universe was short-handed, so Goku arranged for Frieza to be brought back to life for one day so he could participate, and then Whis revived Frieza for keeps after Beerus was pleased with Frieza’s performance.  

This movie is important for a few reasons.    First, it features Aya Hisakawa as Bulma, the first time the role has been recast following Hiromi Tsuru’s tragic death in 2017.  

Second, this movie reintroduces the Broly character.   In the DBZ films, he was a side-story, non-canon villain, but this movie works him into the main canon.    Well... as canonical as Dragon Ball Super gets, I suppose.    Similarly, this movie also does the same thing with Gogeta.   

Third, this one currently stands as  the highest-grossing Dragon Ball movie ever, and one of the top-grossing anime films of all time.    I looked at the Wikipedia list, and it’s at #12.    But Resurrection F is at #19, so I think it’s safe to assume that any future Dragon Ball movies might break the record.     Even so, I knew this one was a bigger deal when I went to see it.   Res F only played in my town for three days, I think.   Broly ran for maybe three weeks and I couldn’t see it on the first try because it was sold out that night.   If it’s true that Akira Toriyama came out of retirement because of how bad Dragon Ball: Evolution was, then I think it’s safe to say that he’s exorcised that demon.

Fourth, this movie’s box office success and popularity led to the downfall of American voice actor and sex pest Vic Mignogna.   Vic has played Broly in all of his past movies, as well as the video games and any other localized Broly media.   But he’s also garnered a reputation over the decades for creeping on women and girls at fan conventions.    DBS: Broly put him in the limelight again, and I’m pretty sure this caused a lot of people to ask why we’re still putting up with this perv in the year 2019.    A few weeks after the movie premiered in the U.S., RoosterTeeth cut ties with him and re-cast all the parts he played for their shows.   A week later, Funimation did the same thing.   Quite stupidly, Vic tried to sue his way out of this mess, taking Funimation and two of its voice actresses to court for defamation and conspiracy, and the case was dismissed with prejudice on October 4.    The last I heard, he was doing public appearances in the basements of creepy malls.   Maybe there’s still venues willing to do business with him, but as I understand it, most anime conventions have recognized that he just isn’t worth the bad publicity.  

Anyway, it’s kind of weird to be doing this with a movie that just came out eleven months ago.     This will probably be more text-heavy than usual, since I have a lot of things to say about this movie that I never got around to earlier in the year.  

For example, what the hell is this thing?

All right, so the first... I dunno, fifteen minutes?... of this movie is a flashback of what Planet Vegeta was like before Frieza destroyed it.    For clarity: the main story of this movie is set in Age 780, the same year as the Tournament of Power in the DBS TV series, while this flashback takes place in Age 739.... I guess?   The Dragon Ball Wiki contends that Goku and Broly were born in Age 737, and they look about two years old in this part, but I dunno.   

Anyway, King Cold has come to Planet Vegeta to inform King Vegeta that he’s retiring from the space-villain business and putting his son Frieza in charge.   This was always very satisfying to me, because I never quite understood King Cold’s role in the Frieza organization.     Turns out he used to run the whole thing, and then he handed it over to Frieza, which allows him to retain a lot of power without actually having to run things directly.  

It also explains why the Saiyans lasted as long as they did under Frieza’s rule.   Conquering the Saiyans happened under King Cold’s regime.    Once Frieza took over, he spent some time reconsidering that decision.    Anyway, Frieza hands out scouters to King Vegeta, explaining that they’re the new latest and greatest technology for detecting and quantifying powerful fighters.   He even shoots down some Saiyan snipers just to demonstrate how well they work.

King Vegeta doesn’t like this turn of events, maybe because he had hoped King Cold would grant the Saiyans independence when he retired.    But there’s no much he can do about it, so he consoles himself in his son, Prince Vegeta.   The tests show that Vegeta has enormous potential, and the King is certain that his son will one day grow powerful enough to overthrow Frieza and rule the universe himself.   

Then he sees another life support tank with another Saiyan baby in it, and he throws a hissy fit about it.    See, Saiyans in this era raise their newborns in these tanks, and this particular tank farm is for babies singled out for having elite fighting potential.    The guys who run the place explain to him that Colonel Paragus’s son had exceptional test results, which may even exceed Prince Vegeta’s.   The King tries to see for himself, but the measuring device overloads and explodes.   

Then this lady walks up and tells him Broly might possibly become the next Legendary Super Saiyan, which doesn’t exactly put the king at ease.    

So King Vegeta orders Broly to be shipped off to the planetoid of Vampa.   When Paragus learns of this, he demands an explanation, since you only do that sort of thing for weaker, low-class Saiyan babies.    That’s what Raditz said way back in DBZ episode 2, you know, but Broly’s already been shown to be far stronger than this.   Also, Vampa’s a dump and everyone knows it, so even if Broly subjugates the planet, no one would want to buy it, so what’s the point.    King Vegeta explains that Broly is probably some kind of mutant, and no matter how strong he may be, he’ll eventually lose control of that power and become dangerous.   At least this way he’ll be on Vampa instead of being dead.    But Paragus thinks the king is only doing this out of jealousy.    He can’t handle that a mere colonel’s son tested better than the prince, so he’s sweeping Broly under the rug.  

So Paragus hijacks a spaceship and flies to Vampa himself to rescue Broly.   His plan is to desert King Vegeta and the Frieza Force and raise Broly on some other planet until he can make Broly into a great warrior.    Another Saiyan named Beets tries to talk him out of it, but ends up getting roped into the hijacking.    Paragus foolishly crash lands the ship on Vampa, and when Beets says he can’t repair the ship, Paragus shoots him so the rations will last longer.    I like this scene, because when they first arrived on Vampa, Paragus made Beets come with him, fearing that he’d take off and leave them if he stayed behind.   Beets swore he’d never do that, but Paragus doesn’t believe in trustworthy Saiyans.    So his shooting Beets is just proof of his cynicism towards his own people. 

Then we flash forward another five years.    That seems kind of fishy to me, but okay.  

Bardock and his comrade are on their way back to Planet Vegeta, because Frieza ordered them all to come home.    Bardock is suspicious, because if Frieza had orders for them, he could have just relayed them by radio, and if he has weapons to distribute, then there’d still be no need to have every Saiyan on the planet at the same time to hand them all out.   

I know people don’t care much for the Dragon Ball Minus version of Bardock, but it does make a lot more sense than the “Father of Goku” version.   This movie expands on the Dragon Ball Minus comic by explaining Bardock’s reasoning in greater detail.    The other Saiyans simply can’t believe that Frieza would do anything drastic to them, mainly because they work for Frieza and do what he wants.    But Bardock knows that the Saiyans dislike Frieza, and that the feeling is probably mutual, and he might just be planning to do something about it.  

Then one of his pals mentions that Frieza’s administrators have been asking around about the Super Saiyan legend, and that’s the final piece of the puzzle.   Bardock realizes that Frieza’s worried about a Saiyan uprising, which normally wouldn’t be a threat, unless a Super Saiyan emerges.  

The point I’m driving at here is that he doesn’t really need psychic powers to see all this coming.    He just happens to be smart enough and paranoid enough to figure out how Frieza thinks.   It’s not as dramatic as “Father of Goku”, but it’s still effective.  

The thing I tried to do last year was to write a fanfic that combined this version of Bardock with the “FoG” version.    Basically, to have Gine in the story and have her cope with her husband having doomsday visions.    I really ought to get back to that sometime.   

As for Frieza, his people report that the Super Saiyan and Super Saiyan God are nothing more than old stories, but Frieza insists that he had to be certain.    Even so, he plans to blow up all the Saiyans anyway, since he’s got them all together in one place.    I don’t know, maybe he only asked about Super Saiyans because he was afraid this upcoming attack might provoke a Super Saiyan survivor.  

Moving on, if you know the story of Dragon Ball Minus, you know what’s coming next.    Bardock meets up with his wife Gine, and I dig this chubby Saiyan working at the meat-packing place.    I think that’s my favorite part of this movie, really, just seeing all the diverse kinds of Saiyans running around on this planet.    Fat ones, thin ones, weak ones.    That one lady looked like some kind of scientist, and the guy in King Vegeta’s court looked like a butler or something.    It’s a nice change from DBZ, where every Saiyan extra ended up looking like Raditz, more or less.    And every Saiyan from Universe 6 looked like they were made of noodles.   

Bardock asks about their kids, and Gine explains that Raditz has been assigned to off-world duty with Prince Vegeta.   As for Kakarot, he’s still in his tank, which just sort of sits in the middle of their home.    Bardock plans to steal a space pod and send Kakarot to another planet, since he thinks Frieza’s going to blow up Planet Vegeta soon, because he believes the Legendary Super Saiyan might appear.

Gine is upset with this, obviously.    What really threw me when I first watched the movie was how all these characters speak of the Legendary Super Saiyan.   No one seems to quite believe in the idea, or maybe it’s more accurate to say that they don’t particularly care if it’s true or not, since it would have happened so long ago.    But there’s a forboding sense that it could happen again.    King Vegeta are looking forward to it, because they think their sons could fill that role.   But Bardock and Gine dread it, because that dumb story convinced Frieza to kill them all, and it’s going to get their son shot into space.   Anyway, anytime someone mentions the Super Saiyan in this movie, someone else always goes “You mean the Legendary Super Saiyan?”   No, mate, I was referring to the ordinary kind you see on every street corner.

Anyway, this was why I started writing my fic, because this legend was such a big deal in early DBZ.    No one in-universe seems to know anything about the previous Super Saiyan.   Even if the guy never existed, you’d expect there to be some details.  My assumption is that this was all lost over the past thousand years, to the point where all anyone remembers is that some Saiyan got tired of being nice and decided to go ape shitt.   And that run of destruction was so memorable that people still talk about it a thousand years later, even after everything else got forgotten.    For me, that’s a writing prompt, and I’ve spent the last four years trying to write a story and build an OC who could make Frieza nervous enough to blow up an entire planet of his own henchmen.  

So when I watched this movie, I sort of worried that one of the characters might drop some new, unwanted lore about the Legendary Super Saiyan.   Up to this point, all we knew about the legend was what Vegeta recalled, but for all I knew Gine studied up on the subject when she took that mythology course at Saiyan University.   “Super Saiyan?   You mean like Topotay, the seven-foot-tall heteronormative man who hated cooking and never left his home planet?”   

So Bardock prepares the pod, and when Gine asks him why he’s bothering, especially when they can’t save themselves, he explains that it’s because he spends all his time fighting that he wants to try to save something for a change.    I like that a lot, because so much of the Saiyan culture in DBZ is extrapolated from Raditz and Vegeta’s perception of it, which is slanted towards ultra-violence and ruthlessness-as-virtue.   And sure, there’s plenty of that.   We get a lot of it in this very movie.    But there’s two sides to the coin.   Paragus was genuinely worried about his son, and Beets seemed to be sympathetic to him as well.    Bardock embraced his wife in front of someone, and now this.   Character traits aren’t hard rules.   It isn’t out-of-character for a violent man to crave peace once in a while, or for a brutal warrior to finally appreciate compassion, especially when he thinks he’s about to die.

The big twist here is that Bardock sent Goku to Earth to save his life.  He was not, as Raditz assumed, deployed to Earth by the Saiyan government to conquer it.    In fact, Bardock chose the Earth specifically because it was far enough out of the way that he didn’t think Frieza would bother with it.   Gine would later contact Raditz to inform him of all of this, but she left out the details of why they did this, probably for fear of being overheard on the communicators.  

In orbit, Frieza’s aides point out that the Saiyans make up half of their fighting force, but Frieza doesn’t care.   He knows the Saiyans aren’t going to quietly tolerate his rule forever, so it’s better to deal with them now.   That’s how afraid of the Super Saiyan he is.   He’d rather blow up half his military than worry about it.    Presumably, King Cold never cared in the first place.   He could barely rememer what a Super Saiyan was, even while he was watching Trunks turn into one.   

Anyway, Frieza does the fingerbang thing, Bardock tries to stop it, but he fails and gets zapped back in time to the Episode of Bardock special, and the planet explodes.    We’ve seen this moment maybe a dozen times by now, but I do like the part where Frieza monitors the destruction on his scouter, and the number of power signals coming from the planet count down to zero. 

Elsewhere, Prince Vegeta’s group hears about this, and they find the whole thing suspicious, because the official story is that the planet got hit by a meteor.    Vegeta and Raditz don’t particularly care.   They both have brothers off-world, but they dismiss them as unimportant weaklings. 

Then we finally flash forward to the main story of the movie.   Baby Kakarot has grown up into Son Goku, the hero of Earth, and Vegeta lives here too, and he’s married the richest lady on the planet.   They both turned into the next Legendary Super Saiyan, and recently they just got done teaming up with Frieza to win the Tournament of Power, proving that their universe deserves to exist.   But Goku and Vegeta still want to get stronger.   Goku, because he wants to fight all those strong guys he met from the other universes, and Vegeta because he’s convinced that Frieza will attack the Earth again now that he’s returned to life.     Also, Beerus and Whis are here, for no particularly good reason.  That seems to be the Dragon Ball Super brand in a nutshell.    What made Movie 14 so good was how they introduced them as new characters, made them the focus of the story, and had them shake things up.    Since then, they just hang out on the sidelines and eat snacks.    

This works out, though, because Bulma gets a call from Trunks about someone breaking into her lab and stealing the six Dragon Balls she had collected, as well as the Dragon Radar.    They quickly realize it was Frieza’s henchmen who did it, and so they head off to find the 7th Dragon Ball before they do.   Whis wants to tag along, but Beerus doesn’t, so she leaves her baby behind and asks him to keep an eye on her.   D’awwwwwwwwww.

On the way to the ice continent where the last ball is located, Goku asks why Bulma was collecting the Dragon Balls in the first place.  She admits that she wanted to ask Shenron to de-age her by about five years.   Just five?   Bulma figures that if she makes herself too young all at once, people will think she had plastic surgery.   Why not just get plastic surgery?     Wait, I’m asking the wrong question here.    Don’t people already think Bulma already had work done?   She hasn’t aged since the Cell Games.

So what does Frieza plan to wish for?   When he first appeared back in early DBZ, he wanted to become immortal.   His aide, whose name I have forgotten, asks if he’s going to try that again, but Frieza says no. 

I’m confused by his reasoning, but Frieza explains that while he was dead and in hell, he realized that it was torture being unable to die or move, so immortality holds no meaning for him.   Okay, but that only happened to you because you died.   Does Frieza think that becoming immortal would leave him unable to move?  Or is he just afraid of getting trapped in some situation where death would be the only release, like when Garlic Junior got trapped in the Dead Zone?

At the very least, I’ll give credit where it’s due: it looks like Toriyama finally gave Frieza a bit of character development to play into his resurrection.   My big complaint about Resurrection F was that Frieza came back to life and immediately went right back to doing all the stupid shit that got him killed in the first place, and it seemed like the 15 years he spent in hell had no effect on him whatsoever.   He wasn’t afraid of dying again, nor was he dismayed by the knowledge of what awaits him on the others side.   Now, in this movie, he at least has some perspective.   Shenron could make Frieza immortal, but he can’t make him stronger than Goku, so maybe he’s worried that Goku might throw him into a black hole or something. 

Even so, it was weird to watch this movie and see a Frieza who utterly does not care about becoming immortal, because he seemed so obsessed with it back on Namek.  But now that I’ve watched DBZ in Japanese, I’ve noticed that Frieza never seemed all that concerned about it.    He’s not Voldemort, who was terrified of death and sought to conquer it, or Kars, who wanted to eliminate his few remaining weaknesses.   Frieza only seemed to want immortality back then because it was the only thing he could think of that he didn’t already have, and maybe to screw with Vegeta, who saw the Dragon Balls as the only way to beat Frieza.    Still, I find it odd that Frieza isn’t even a little worried about what’ll happen to him when he finally kicks the bucket.   His aide suggests that he might wish for an invincible-but-still-mortal body, and Frieza says that would take all the fun out of “the game”.   So I guess he’s adopted an Android 17 outlook on life?   Well, so be it, but he knows he’s going to get hung up on the happy fun tree again whenever he dies of old age, so why doesn’t that weigh on him?    In Movie 15, he seemed to think he only ended up there because he died on Earth.   Does he think if he dies someplace else, that he’ll go to a better hell with free wifi and room service?    If I were Frieza, I’d be doing some serious churchin’ up.

Anyway, his other, cooler aide, Berryblue, already has this figured out: Frieza wants to wish to be taller.  Specifically, five centimeters taller, so that it won’t be too conspicuous.    I really like Berryblue, even though this is about the only thing she does in this movie.   Both of these aides appeared in the flashback, implying that they’ve been with Frieza for decades and somehow survived his fifteen-year death.   There would have been no need for someone like her on his Namek campaign, but the absence of characters like her was exactly why I never cared much for Frieza’s classic henchmen.    They were all jacked up thugs constantly licking Frieza’s boots and not much else.    Berryblue’s not afraid of this guy at all, probably because she changed his space-diapers when he was little, and if he kills her, he won’t have anyone to bring him space-wine from the ship’s space-cellar.   

So why doesn’t Frieza just use his second form, the one he used to fight Piccolo on Namek?   That form was like eight feet tall, but also fuck Frieza’s second form.   He only had those forms to regulate his power, and these days he doesn’t even use them.   He wants to be taller in his default state.   But he doesn’t want to be too tall all at once, or it wouldn’t look natural.   This from the guy who went out of his way to turn mustard yellow at full power.

Personally, I’m torn on this whole gag.    It is kind of funny that Frieza is after the same dumb kind of wish that Bulma was, but it’s also kind of stupid that Frieza is after the exact same thing that Commander Red wanted way back in the original Dragon Ball.   The problem with bringing Frieza back is that no one knows what to do with him.     They already had him attack Earth again, die again, and come back again.   We’ve even seen him team up with the good guys.    But DBS ended with him going off on his merry way, and it looks like he’s rebuilding the Frieza Force, but that feels kind of hollow while he has Goku and Vegeta on his mind.     Having him make another go at the Dragon Balls is a solid move, except the Dragon Balls alone aren’t a motivation because you still need to have something to wish for.    This whole “5cm taller” thing just feels like a gag to cover the lack of an actual answer to the problem.  

  Meanwhile, let’s check in on these two.  The green lady is Cheelai, and the orange guy is Leemo.   They’re in the Frieza Force, but not as warriors.   Leemo’s just a transport pilot, and I don’t really know what Cheelai’s official job is, but their current assignment is to search the galaxy for strong warriors to recruit for Frieza’s army.    When you think about it, Frieza’s pretty bad at this whole “private army” business.   King Cold left him the entire Saiyan race, the Ginyu Force, Zarbon, Dodoria, and whoever else.   First, Frieza wiped out the Saiyans, which made up half of his soldiers.    Then he deployed his finest troops to Namek, where they al got taken out by Goku and Vegeta, two of the Saiyans he neglected to kill.    Then Frieza gets himself and King Cold killed on a pointless revenge mission, leaving Sorbet to try to keep the whole thing going.    Across a fifteen year period, Sorbet probably loses a lot of good soldiers to insurrections and desertion.  Then Frieza comes back and assembles an army of 1000 warriors, and he kills all of them on another pointless revenge mission.

So yeah, in this scene, Cheelai laments that there just aren’t many warriors out there with a power level greater than 1000.   Well there used to be, until Frieza got them all killed.  Now he’s down to scrubs like Leemo, who’s worked for Frieza for decades, but can’t fight worth a damn.    According to Cheelai, she only joined up because she stole a spaceship or something, and knew the authorities wouldn’t chase after her if she was in the Frieza Force.    Really?  I don’t think Frieza would go out of his way to personally avenge or rescue her if the Galactic Patrol caught her.   

There’s a cute gag here where Cheelai mentions how Frieza turned out to be shorter than she expected, and Leemo warns her never to say that again if she values her life, recalling how Berryblue mentioned that Frieza used to execute some of his men for mocking his height behind his back.   Gee, why could Frieza have a staffing problem?    This is why Cell is the best villain.   He’s plenty tall, and he’s not so friggin’ insecure, and he can handle his own shit.

Anyway, the pair pick up a distress signal and it turns out it’s coming from Vampa, where they find Paragus striking... a pose.   Yes.   It’s like he knew he’d be wearing a shower curtain over his legs for the rest of the movie so he wanted to flaunt his goodies now while he still had the chance.

Paragus is now old and grey-headed, but he still has a power level of 4200, which is weaker than Nappa, but still good enough that Leemo and Cheelai are thrilled to take him back on their ship.   But then they get attacked by the giant head lice on Vampa, and Paragus calls for Broly to save them...

...And Cheelai is astounded by his power, which is too high to measure on the scouter.   That... doesn’t mean a whole lot these days, unless they increased the scouters’ range since the Freiza Saga.   Hers doesn’t explode, at least, so they managed to improve that much in the past twenty years.   

So on the ride back, Cheelai spends some time with Broly and gives him ration bars, or maybe it’s just candy, I dunno.    Paragus tells Broly to thank her, but she finds it too formal, and teaches the “Okay” sign as she tells Broly to just say “thank you” and leave it at that.    

Aboard Frieza’s ship, Paragus explains that he had to cut off Broly’s tail because he was getting too powerful, and that Broly would have these surges in power where he would lose all control of himself.   To deal with these, he put a shock collar on Broly’s neck, and he keeps the remote in his fanny pack.   He demonstrates how it works, and Leemo and Cheelai are horrified.

But they’re not so horrified that they balk at their reward for finding these two.  Apparently everyone in DBZ outer space gets paid in ball-point pens.

After Leemo and Cheelai leave, Frieza explains to Paragus that Planet Vegeta was destroyed a long time ago, though he neglects to mention that he did the destroying.   Not that Paragus cares, since he gave up on ever going back there because of King Vegeta.   Frieza mentions that Prince Vegeta is still alive on Earth, and offers to help him get revenge.   

Notably in this scene, Frieza refers to Prince Vegeta as “Vegeta IV,” which makes his dad King Vegeta III.   It’s nice to finally have that settled after all these years.    

I hadn’t noticed this until now, but there’s another lady on the ship besides Cheelai and Berryblue.   Probably not that remarkable, since Cheelai already explained that Frieza was hiring more women now that he couldn’t afford to be picky.   There are sources that say Frieza’s organization just didn’t allow women, period, but I always find those sort of absolutes hard to believe.   There’s also been talk that Frieza’s species has no gender, which is entirely plausible, but then why should Frieza bother with making sexist hiring policies?   

Wait, maybe Frieza got frustrated with it.   Like, he kept misgengering his staff, and he didn’t like looking foolish, so he just went, you know what, no women.   That actually makes some sense, especially in light of this movie, where he’s on a hiring spree for his ultra-important campaign to grow two whole inches.

Oh, wait, I just remembered that tough-looking lady they introduced for Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot.    I guess she was working for Frieza the whole time, but maybe he made special exceptions for quality talent.    Or he separated his crews by gender, so whenever he boards a different ship someone has to tell him which pronouns to use.    This is why Cell’s the best villain, because if you tell him your pronouns, he’ll just fucking remember instead of being a jackass about it.    All thanks to Piccolo’s cells.   Also Nappa’s.  

When Broly and Paragus come down for some food, Cheelai invites them to their table, but Paragus isn’t interested in chatting, and Broly doesn’t seem to know how.   Cheelai asks him why he’s still wearing the green fur around his waist, but when she tries to touch it he flips out, and she backs off.     Mostly, I just like this shot of Cheelai here.  

Also this one, where she gets upset with Paragus for not allowing Broly to tell his tragic backstory.   But we’ll have to save that for the second half of this review.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 34

Okay, we finally hear from our saboteur, and why she did it.

Once Conor was escorted from the room to wait in the corridor, I braced myself for what was to come. Where the other members of the Council had their assistants standing behind them to locate and send them relevant information, I was surprised to see my sister standing behind my chair. “It’s temporary, until we can find someone else to fill the role,” she responded to my questioning glance.

Translation: I don’t trust anyone else to be here right now. “What did you have to promise to be allowed in here?” She had previously injured herself pretty badly trying to break down the door between her and the woman who would shortly be standing in the room with us.

“No assaulting her, no talking to her, I can’t even walk on the same side of the room where she will be,” Tyche rolled her eyes and sighed before perking up. “But, if she comes over here, I’m allowed to take any action necessary in defense of myself or my sister.” A shiver trailed down my spine at the feral and bloodthirsty grin on her face.

Time to change the topic. “Did you really have to sedate Conor?”

She just shrugged. “He was shouting, and it was upsetting you even worse than you already are. When your nose started bleeding like that, I thought you ruptured your sinuses again. I would have sedated you if I was one-hundred percent sure it wouldn’t have reacted badly with the medications you’re already on.”

“Fair enough.” Wait. “What d’you mean, rupture my sinuses again?”

“Short answer is: your sinus cavities were crushed when you were assaulted, plus internal soft-tissue damage.  At one point while you were unconscious, your blood pressure spiked hard enough that several of the blood vessels in there ruptured because they hadn’t healed enough. Noah induced a coma to keep that from happening again. You almost both drowned and exsanguinated, which I didn’t even know was a thing, but they got you right again.”

I shook my head carefully. “When am I going to get the full list of what all needed fixing?” I gestured to my head.

“After the trial, which is about to start,” she shushed me, nodding to the opposite side of the table.

Some cruel trick of fate, or possibly putting my sister as far as possible from her potential victim, had placed me directly across from the space where Arantxa would stand for her trial. I tried to remind myself that, while I would have to face my attacker and traitorous former friend, she would also have to sit directly across from the person she failed to kill.  There was at least a little sense of drama from whoever decided the seating arrangements. Eino called for us to stand as ‘accused’ was ushered into the room.  Once she was escorted, hands bound and head held high, to the empty space, the charges against her were read.

“Arantxa Bidarte,” Eino intoned. “You are here on trial for the charges of attempted murder of a sentient being, conspiracy to commit murder of a sentient being, conspiracy to sabotage a rescue vessel, and conspiracy to exterminate the human race. Evidence of your actions has already been provided to those present.  Under Galactic Law, which we have chosen to exercise here, you are allowed an interval of time equivalent to no less than twenty Terran minutes, unless you waive the minimum, and not to exceed six Terran hours in which to make a statement in your defense.  After your statement has been given, you will be questioned in regards to the crimes of which you are accused.  Do you understand what will take place here?”

“I do,” she answered crisply.

“Council, be seated,” Eino allowed.  I noticed that Arantxa was forced to remain standing and had not been provided a seat. I made a mental note to ask about it later.  Once seated, he nodded once more at Arantxa. “You may begin.”

Head still high, she looked around the table before her gaze fell on me. She had the decency to look ashamed once she saw the purple and green splotches making up much of my face. “Ladies and Gentlemen of the Council,” she began. “I stand here today accused of several atrocious acts against this ship and the community within it. I was caught in the act of one such act by two of the Councillors in this room, and I am sure you have already spoken with the others involved while I was convalescing, so I will not insult your intelligence by claiming innocence.”

“Humanity is a plague,” she spat, her tone changing from one of righteous dignity to one of disgust. “We made the planet we came from unlivable.  We gave priority status to the rich, the same people who exploited Earth’s resources for profit, again and again.  Hundreds of species of plants and animals, none of which did anything to deserve what we did, were driven to extinction when we stole and destroyed their habitat. When the Global Parliament was instated, we told ourselves that everything would be better.”

“We lied. We lied to ourselves, to those who trusted us to lead them, and to any future generations. The only thing that changed was that we spent all the time we previously used to wage war on each to wage war on our own planet.  The sheer amount of processing and production of materials needed to complete the Icarus Project caused irreversible climate change. More animals driven to extinction, more plants.  Millions died from heat waves, droughts, floods… and we promised it would be okay! We told ourselves, over and over, that we could fix it by solving the problem of overpopulation. A new world, we said.”

“An entirely new world for us to destroy and exploit.  And again, the rich were given priority, allowed to leave the planet they convinced us to ruin in the first place.  We could not allow that; yes, Earth was already past the point of supporting our lives, but we could not allow humanity to spread like a virus to other worlds, drive whole new species into extinction.  So yes, we sabotaged the ships headed to Goldilocks.  And yes, we fully expected it to cause all global power and information systems to go dark. Humanity was supposed to die on that planet, quarantined to protect any other species out there.”

“But even then, as Councillor Reid has summed up so well when recounting waking on the Ark for the first time, we can’t even die properly.  Instead of the inevitable decline that a plague deserves, our gracious hosts have decided to spread us around to the rest of the known universe.  How kind of them!  Imagine my horror waking up here, realizing that all the hard work my people had done was for nothing!  Ten thousand plague-bearers, chosen for how robust we were and being taken to a new world to grow like a bacterial culture. Everything I had worked against, coming to fruition.”

“I was not the only one, as you already have discovered.  I was assigned as an Administrator, and cultivated a relationship with Tyche Reid.” I could hear my sister growling from behind me. “Imagine how fortuitous it was for me when I was assigned to her sister, the newest member of the Council.  I knew the gods were smiling on me when I was given a perfectly solid reason to have access to human staffing for every portion of the Ark.  I already had a friendly working relationship with Sophia’s sister, and further ingratiated myself into her little so-called family at every opportunity.  Ridiculous woman just adopts people,” she scoffed.  I felt like I was being stabbed; I realized that part of me still hoped that our friendship had meant at least something to her, but here she was practically admitting I was nothing but a tool she had used.

“Yes, my conspirators and I made a plan to hopefully destroy the ship, or at least throw it off course far enough that we would have time to take more drastic measures.  No one anticipated the Ark would immediately drop out of FTL when the sensors went offline. Then, that damned pilot was on board. How did a pilot who was supposed to be dead get on board this ship!?  Can we not just die properly!?” she practically shouted before taking breaths to calm herself. “Even drugging everyone on Level One could not work properly, because Tyche Reid had to be allergic to a drug that has been in use for centuries, and that damned idiot pilot wouldn’t fucking eat!”

“And then,” she blew a harsh breath out through her nose. “Then, Sophia had to start figuring things out, connecting all the dots. As soon as I heard her talking to herself in the shower, I knew something had to be done.  It was already known that someone on Level One was responsible, thanks to the slip up with the drugged food being found out.  If she reasoned out that I was primarily the one behind all of it, she would have stopped us. I realized no one would ever suspect me; I was her best friend, her sister, and all that nonsense.  Yet again, she wouldn’t just die. Oh no, she fought back, and by the time I thought she was dead, they had to walk in while I was trying to get my hand out of her fucking hair.” She gestured at Xiomara and Grey before shaking her head. “You have to understand, we cannot be allowed to spread into the universe.  We are death incarnate.  We killed a planet that, by all rights, should have killed us first.  We wiped out several entire animals on our home world that should have eaten us alive, but we domesticated them and killed off the rest.  Being allowed to start all over again is a mistake. Please do not allow this.”

I was stunned.  She had just admitted to acts of global terrorism, two attempts at genocide on humanity, and two attempted murders. And she wanted us to listen to her?

What the actual fuck.

Looking around at my fellow members of the Council, their faces betrayed the same thoughts.  She apparently saw the same thing, because she started speaking again. “Do not discount my words because of my actions.  Instead, take my actions into evidence of how barbaric we are, deep down. Take into account Derek Okafor’s actions against me, as well; if a kind, shy boy can deliberately inflict pain, deliberately break bones, what does that say about humanity?  Tyche Reid, as well, in regards to her attempted actions when her sister was injured: instead of waiting by her bedside, her first instincts were to attempt revenge and damage herself in the process.  We are savages,” she growled.

Grey Hodenson was the only person who could unclench their jaw long enough to speak. “Do you have anything further to say, Ms. Bidarte?”

“There is nothing that will convince you people,” was the response. “So, no.”

Grey nodded and stood. “Under Galactic Law, intended victims of the accused who are aware of the crime committed are allowed to speak.  Miys has waived their right to such a statement due to need for impartiality, which is customary for their kind.  Sophia Reid, would you like to make a statement?”

I took a deep breath to brace myself before nodding and standing. “Do I have the same time constraints as she did?”

Grey nodded. “We cannot stop you before twenty minutes have passed, and you may not exceed six hours.”

“I won’t need six hours,” I shook my head. “I doubt I will need twenty minutes.” I turned my head to where the fuming accused stood. “Arantxa Bidarte.  You were one of the first people I met on this ship. We worked hand in hand for several months, two parts of a whole.  I welcomed you into my home, shared my family and dreams of what humanity could become with you. I watched one of my dearest friends fall in love with you, with no reservations. Yet you stand here today, admitting that it was all a lie on your part, that you used us.”

“As much as that hurts – and it does, worse than being cut in half did – what hurts even more is knowing that you listened to nothing that we talked about in all that time.  The entire reason that Noah and their people tried to save humanity is because they saw something worth saving.  I do not deny that the wealthy and corrupt held power for too long, and that is a mistake we have all recognized.  You yourself said to me that you thought I would be a good leader because I did not want to lead.  Maybe that was the problem on Earth; we allowed those who wanted to lead to take the reins, but that is something that we can fix, if we have the chance that you want to deny us. See, for all the evils that you stand there accusing our entire species of, there are amazing things that we have accomplished as well.  We always try to better ourselves, to learn from our mistakes.  You mention Derek’s reaction to seeing what you did to me, but you cheapen it.  Derek is not a vicious monster, like you try to make him sound.  Despite the fact that he doesn’t like touching people, he overcame that to protect his family rather than stand there helpless and watch me die. That’s not barbaric.  Tyche’s actions as well: she was willing to injure herself to make sure you could never hurt me again, and from what I understand she hurt herself pretty badly.”

“Yes, we made our planet unlivable, but we are trying to learn as much as we can to prevent doing that once we reach Kepler 442b.  How can you have spent so much time around Conor and not noticed how we are trying to adapt our plants to Kepler’s environment, if and only if the native vegetation will not sustain us?  And all of it is being engineered to prevent it from becoming invasive and killing local species off.  Animals will not be released into the wild, not even the aquatics, for the same reason. Giang’s people are trying to create sustainable structures that require minimal natural resources.  But all you see is what you want, that we wrecked one planet and presumably will wreck this one.  No one on this ship wants that to happen, except you.  We just spent a decade surviving a slow apocalypse that you admit you caused, on an already dying planet, because the rich and wealthy left us nothing.  We are so much better than you think we are, and we deserve the chance to prove that.”

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[lyxine]

Mikhail woke up in a dimly lit room, with a nasty migraine. Blinking several times before getting a clear vision of his surroundings, he realized that he was chained to a strange looking chair. Calling upon his quirk, he was ready to break free of the chains holding him when he heard a voice.

“I wouldn’t try if I were you. We injected you with enough drugs to reduce your Quirk’s power. And even if you had the time to destroy these extremely complex made chains, we put a tracker on you.”

“Wait who are you?!”

“We are… People interested by your ability.”

“Ohoho! Oh no, I won’t let you make me use my Quirk for whatever purpose you have. Unless it’s unharmful science dedicated to help others.”

“You’re an interesting one.”

“To be honest… I’m scared! I really hate violence!”

“Our purpose is to… Have weapons. We are acting towards a noble goal. Have new heroes but… Better. Less human, more docile, compliant to the rules. We don’t want heroes creating an another Stain, or with… Shaky allegiances. But you’ll also become better. Your Quirk? Enhanced. And your body too. A human body is already a wonder, but it’s only a diamond in the rough… We will polish it.”

“Why me then? Because of my Quirk? Sorry but if I disappear, people will be on your trail. And I’m not talking about my frie-”

His words were interrupted by a sharp slap to the face. Mikhail’s cheek stung, and the scientist let out a stream of greek curses. The man in the dark snapped his fingers and a small cart full of sharp tools, syringes and medical supplies.

“Wait stop! It’s going to be disastrous! Ever heard of the hero creation lab?! It ended pretty badly, don’t reapeat their mistakes! If you release me I promise I won’t talk!” he lied on that last sentence. He was going to raise the alarm pretty quickly.

“Ah, but don’t worry Mikhail. You won’t be a failure. You’ll be a chosen one.”

The cool liquid penetrated his body.

/**/

Entry 5:

Psychological conditioning will definitely be longer than physical conditioning. The subject’s body exceeds our initial predictions. Who knew that his body was already a genetic wonder? The subject still tries to fight back and his quirk almost killed several people, but it seems that his gentle nature still stops him from harming someone.

Entry 27:

We’ll soon be able to enter the delicate part of the physical conditioning. The fever brought by the various vaccines has now broken. Immunity tests will be delicate and require serious monitoring, but if its body can handle it, we’ll be able to continue its perfection. As for psychological conditioning, the subject stopped speaking. It reacts to the various stimulis and is responsive, in its own way.

Entry 50:

The subject seems to have finished psychological conditioning earlier, although it still won’t bring itself to kill something or someone with its bare hands. We’re considering to make of it a support soldier.

Entry 60:

The subject’s acquaintances have noticed the disappearance. The reports for Europe have been sent, by the subject itself. We’ll have to make it talk for us, ensure that it doesn’t think about anything. This is our first test in the open for the psychological conditioning!

Entry 61:

Apparently, the subject seemed successful on the first test in the open. The excuse of an another lab and project to study seemed enough. Although the need to give update will be something to build on. We are thinking about a project abroad.

Entry 73:

The immunity tests have proven successful, although the subject has a tendency to have deliriums in Greek. Translation of the fever dreams will be needed. We can now begin the Lazarus tests.

Entry 94:

The Lazarus tests have been successful. It died several times, and its body restarted each time, or entered into pseudo-hibernation state. It is perfect. It can clinically die a few minutes before reanimating itself and going into pseudo-hibernation. The only kind of death that it won’t be able to come back from is body destruction. And it has no other Quirk than the one it was born with. It’s body is finally perfect! A real supersoldier, docile, obedient, and totally loyal.

Entry 96:

This Quirk is wonderful. We sent it on his first real mission today. Just a “cleaning” mission. The results are excellent. These troublesome devices are no more. It has been silent for a month, except when it was in a delirious state or was ordererd to talk. We equipped it with an armor to improve its abilities. We can now lend our success to the best buyer. Soon, we’ll begin to work on another subject. We went so much further than the Hero Creation lab or the Nomus. We have a stronger asset, built only in a few months! And it is only the first! With better inclined subjects, or willing ones, we’ll be able to have supersoldiers even faster…

Entry 97:

Before getting an another test subject, I’d personally like to break the gentleness of our supersoldier. It’s supposed to obey orders, and kill if asked to. Yet every time it will refuse to kill. I wonder why. Didn’t we break it enough? Our conditioning seemed perfect. Every order, except kill, is followed...

Entry 98:

... Somehow, these damn heroes discovered the facilities... My precious test subject... Almost perfect in every way... My supersoldier... It fights outside but stops when it thinks that it’ll seriously harm someone... It still thinks! Why?

Soldier Alpha was hurt and bleeding. Bleeding was normal. Wounds were normal. These would quickly close. It had to focus on the mission. Fight off the intruders, kill if necessary.

Kill? No, no killing. Killing is bad. Harming another is bad!

But failure is not an option according to the one that gives order. Succeed or die. So? Maybe die? Die a little? It can die and come back. Failure is the most probable issue, so no success. It’s armor has been torn and the helmet is heavily damaged, either by the ones he fights or mistakes with it’s Quirk.

It decides to die a little. Succeed or die. It’s not failure to die, as it’ll resurrect like Lazarus later.

@bandanimeboisstuff @hopeaterart

Idk I had something in mind that could make you interact more with Mikhail in a fight where he gets an active part.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 30th August 2019

- Did someone get a count on how many seconds that scene between them lasted before Liv and Vic showed up? Did it exceed 20 seconds? 

- Sigh...I mean...sadly they got slightly more than I was expecting today. And I appreciate Aaron being stressed about it but I hate that Robert’s just like ‘oh it’s fine’. Like, I get it because he’s in denial and he still thinks he can get out of this and really, the plea hearing isn’t the end yet. So he’s not wrong. He is just going to go put in his plea and come home. And his lawyer hasn’t told him to plea guilty yet and Vic hasn’t backed out of testifying in the future yet, so it’s still sort of potentially fine, right now. But I can’t help it, I still want more. And I don’t even think today would have been bad if yesterday wasn’t so lackluster in terms of Aaron getting to react or Robert getting to have feelings about finally telling the truth and making it somewhat real. 

- But I was already over it after yesterday, so really, it’s all on next week for the hope of literally anything. Haha. Again, very low bar. 

- I’m still confused about the Liv story and the timing. Again, I think it’s great she’s getting a story. I think the teens need more content. I like that she and Jacob are hanging out again even if I want to rip that top knot off of his head and burn it with Aaron’s hat. Haha. I just think it’s really strange to do this story right now. They undercut Vic’s rape story with Robert’s exit and now they’re undercutting Robert’s exit with Liv’s potential epilepsy story. I can understand how the first happened but less so this. Unless, again, they use Liv as a reason for Aaron to stay behind if Robert goes on the run or even a reason for Robert to tell Aaron he needs to focus on Liv and not come to see him if he’s in prison. I don’t know. I just think it’s too much right now for this character group and selfishly, it’s just one more thing to take away from Robert’s exit. But I suppose they have to plan for a post Robert world whether I like it or not. Just makes me suspicious. 

- I appreciate all of the outdoor scenes that we’ve been getting so much of lately. I like the outdoor ‘pub’ stuff and Marlon’s little garden set. It’s nice. 

- I do still like the switch up in dynamic of Al treating Ellis like the golden boy vs Jessie laying that mantle on Billy. It’s nice to see Ellis getting some praise, even if it is all likely all going to backfire. And I think it adds more depth to Billy and Ellis’s relationship. I just want the story to move forward a bit more and I assume that won’t happen until after Jessie’s exit. 

- Is she going to take the job and Hotten Jail? She can teach Robert when he’s there? Haha. Or is she going to get a better offer further away and then take that instead, which breaks her and Marlon up. I do hope Billy and Ellis still remain close with Marlon and April though. I’d hate to lose that right away. But I am sort of ready for Jessie to go so the rest of the story can move. 

- I still can’t get over how Moira has more chemistry with Cain in their two second little scenes when she’s supposed to be annoyed with him and all lustful over Nate. It’s not good. Haha. 

- That Isaac kiss was adorable though. Best part of the episode. 

- I love how they’re treating Cain going to Scotland for two weeks to help his daughter like it’s the end of the damn world and he’s leaving forever. But Robert actually might be and everyone’s like ‘cool’. 

- Speaking of that kind of frustrating comparison, thanks for giving that desperate ‘I don’t want to lose you’ to Nate instead of Aaron or Robert. Haha. God. All those scenes with him and Amy were painful today. They’re making so much out of their relationship and it’s like...really???!! I agree with Kerry, Amy you hardly know him and half the time you’re annoyed by his existence (which..fair). It’s just all so plotty. Can’t wait for Kerry to spy on Moira and Nate next week! It’s gonna be so riveting. It’s so awesome how they’re merging this two terrible plots into one super terrible plot! Hooray!

- Also...can Nate learn to deliver lines better. It hurts me that he has no inflection and he says every line exactly the same.