#unsporty

[lucidpast]

Scrawny: The Magazine for Unsporty Boys (1956)

[femmefeedist]

I wonder how many people noticed how unsporty your body looked in that sports bra

but then again you probably blended in just fine with the "this fit last summer..." crowd

but this did fit last summer 🥺🥵👉🏻👈🏻

🍀my links🍀

[fafnir19]

A swimming lesson

It was another typical day at school, and as usual, I found myself in the crosshairs of Mr. Coachman's disdain. My name is Tristan, and I am what one might call an "unsporty" student. Thin, nerdy, and full of useless facts, I was the kid who always got picked last in gym class. Mr Coachman, a former athlete turned sport and philosophy teacher, had no patience for my know-it-all attitude. He believed that my incessant need to correct everyone was hindering the class and, quite frankly, his sanity. One day, Mr. Coachman approached me after yet another unnecessary correction during PE. He offered me a chance to improve my abysmal grades in sports by taking extra swimming lessons with him. Reluctantly, I agreed, desperate to boost my overall GPA. At our first swimming session, Mr. Coachman handed me a peculiar-looking swimming cap. He claimed it would allow me to hear and see his instructions directly in my head. I thought he was out of his mind, but upon putting on the cap, I realized it actually worked. It was a surreal experience, feeling Mr. Coachman's voice and visual cues echoing in my mind as I swam. The instructions were crystal clear, making it easier to perfect my stroke and improve my technique in record time. Weeks later, Mr. Coachman, noticing my progress, approached me with a new pair of swim goggles. He said they would help me focus better in the pool. Skeptical yet willing to try anything, I put them on and dove in. As soon as the water enveloped me, I felt a heightened sense of concentration. The outside world disappeared, and all that mattered was the water beneath me. Mr. Coachman's voice became a distant echo, guiding me through each stroke and turn. It was as if the goggles had transformed me into a single-minded swimming machine.

Mr Coachman observed my newfound dedication and satisfaction. I was exhausted from the intense swim training, which left me with no energy to display my usual know-it-all tendencies in class.

Several weeks later, Mr Coachman's next request gave me pause. He presented me with a slim blue Speedo and promised that it would enhance my speed in the water. There was just one catch—I had to shave off all my body hair. He argued that professional swimmers did it all the time for better speed and reduced resistance. I protested vehemently. "Shave off all my body hair? Are you out of your mind?" I exclaimed, my voice filled with disbelief. Mr Coachman, with a grin on his face, replied, "Of course not, Tristan! It's a small sacrifice in pursuit of greatness. Trust me, you'll thank me later." I crossed my arms stubbornly, determined to resist this outrageous demand. "Absolutely not! I'll wear the Speedo, but I draw the line at shaving my body hair. It's like asking a caterpillar to give up its fuzzy coat!" Mr Coachman's smile didn't falter, and he simply said, "Suit yourself, Tristan. But just remember, the pros do it for a reason." His words lingered in the air as an internal struggle waged within me. The temptation to conform and become the ultimate swimmer clashed with my natural inclination to rebel against such absurdity. In the end, though, curiosity won over. I figured, if I could endure the grueling training and wear these magical swimming items, what harm could a little body hair removal do? With a hesitant sigh, I finally agreed to Mr. Coachman's request. Trudging to the bathroom, I grabbed a razor, examining its gleaming blade with trepidation. As I stood before the mirror, thoughts of caterpillars and metamorphosis floated through my mind. I wondered if shaving off my body hair would truly transform me into a swimming powerhouse. With each stroke of the razor, I felt a mix of excitement and unease. Whiskers and hairs fell, leaving behind smooth, hairless skin. Trapped in my thoughts, I couldn't help but wonder what my friends would say or how they would react when they discovered my newfound aquatic obsession and hairless body. Finally, once all the hair was gone, I took a long look at my smooth reflection. It was a strange sight, almost otherworldly. I felt a mix of vulnerability and exhilaration, like a sea creature shedding its scales and emerging anew. Standing tall in my hairless glory, I slipped into the slim blue Speedo. Ready or not, I was about to dive into the next chapter of this bizarre journey, hoping that my shaved body would indeed prove to be a worthwhile sacrifice in the pursuit of greatness. Emerging from the water for the first time in my stylish Speedo, I had transformed. My physique resembled that of a Greek statue, not an ounce of body fat in sight. I was an athletic swimmer, a force to be reckoned with.

With my old clothes no longer fitting, Mr. Coachman outfitted me with a tight beige chino and a light blue shirt.

As I squeezed myself into the outfit, I couldn't help but complain about looking like a preppy dork. However, Mr. Coachman assured me that it was all about how I wore the clothes. Skillfully, he rolled up the sleeves of my shirt, unbuttoned the top buttons, and stood back to appraise his handiwork. "Aren't you a handsome devil?" he remarked with a satisfied grin.

Surprisingly, I found myself thanking him, swallowed by a sense of excitement and self-confidence that I had never experienced before. Something about Mr. Coachman's approval made me feel alive and validated, even if I couldn't pinpoint exactly why I had become so susceptible to his influence. And thus, Mr. Coachman's cunning plan had come to fruition. Those magical swimming accouterments had not only transformed me into a skilled swimmer but also had slowly but surely chipped away at my once-sturdy resistance. When I wore all three items—cap, goggles, and Speedo—I was utterly beholden to his every command, a true embodiment of the "perfect student-athlete" he had envisioned from the onset. Now a member of the swim team, I had gone from a nerdy outcast to a charming and good-looking athlete, the joy of all my teachers. But deep down, I couldn't help but wonder if Mr. Coachman's methods were entirely ethical. Regardless, I was living proof of his success, and the sensation of hearing Mr. Coachman's voice and visualizing his instructions while wearing the cap and goggles had left an indelible mark on my perception of swimming, forever changing the way I experienced the water.

[canisalbus]

I do historical rapier fencing, and it is quite tough on the arms and legs! The classic rapier is around a kilo in weight, and maintaining precision while holding it out in front of you and thrusting is surprisingly taxing on the muscles. The concept of rapier being a light weapon is somewhat misleading - it only weights a little bit less (a few hundred grams at most) than an European longsword, and in my experience handling the rapier is actually tougher. In my first class I felt like my limbs were about to fall off because I had absolutely no stamina haha. :D

I've been trying to do some research on rapiers and fencing, mainly because Vasco (as a well trained nobleman of his time) is actually supposed to be a reasonably skilled swordsman and rapiers are the period accurate choice. They look very airy and light but it's still a significant piece of metal, and to my understanding the blade is comparatively long as well, for that maximum reach I suppose? It's always a little intimidating when I give a character a skill or a trait that is outside my area of expertise, because eventually someone who actually knows a lot about the subject will show up and I get scared of embarrassing myself with my limited understanding ´v`'

Modern Machete has the benefit of proper healthcare and better stress management so he's nowhere near as actively feeble as his chronically fatiqued 16th century counterpart. He's still twiggy and unsporty but if he really truly wanted to do fencing, I think it would be possible for him to gain the necessary physical endurance and fitness through persistent training.

[nerds-in-wonderland]

Just Kimia almost making me (a decidedly unsporty human) want to watch a sport 🥺

I want to see cute lesbians in love 🌈💖 (not just because I'm a lesbian that wants love 🫠)

[panboiiibish]

Thinking about monsters right now. More specifically a werewolf pack that's just filled with sporty types and theres you, the odd ball out. Maybe not for being unsporty but for being a little human.

An itty bitty thing one of them found, brought in, and they all warmed up to you.

Maybe the pack isn't just all wolves too, I'd love to see a weredog pack. Maybe a lean doberman with a chubby saint bernard, add in a toned goldy of course and maybe a thic wolf mix to even things out.

Maybe it's the dober that clings onto the nice smelling little human, just enjoying how they act when most others set them in a grumpy mood. After finally getting you used to themselve they bring their new little "friend" to the back and its and instant accept. Seeing the usually wallflower dober bringing in someone sets all the others in high hopes and they are not squished when finally meeting the new (already accepted as a packmate) human.

Just a little idea drable, I'm not much of a writer so I hope this inspires someone. >///<

[avengersome]

Siegfried and Gerald

(Random thoughts on these two, including some s4 spoilers, below the cut)

Taking a general view, it’s hard to imagine two people less alike that Siegfried Farnon and Gerald Hammond. Siegfried is a loud vet with sporting inclinations, who thinks he’s good at DIY but isn’t. Gerald is an introverted seemingly unsporty man, who is great at hands on work but freaks out somewhat at things veterinary.

They do have similarities though.

The first is that their families mean the world to them. Gerald is happy to uproot to take care of his sister, and clearly worries greatly about her. Siegfried’s family may largely be found rather than blood, but he was willing to have his qualifications stripped to protect James, and proved he would do anything to look after Tristan.

The other, probably more clear, similarity is with Audrey. They are both clearly in love with her, and want her in their lives. But they were also both willing to let her go because they thought it was what she wanted. They both want to be with her, but they want her to be happy more.

It could also be argued that they’re both more interested in having her in their lives as a friend than they are at risking moving things forward romantically. Gerald tells her directly that he’s happy to be her friend, and he would never have made a move if she hadn’t. Siegfried admittedly is a little harder to read in this regard, because we haven’t got to a relationship (yet) between him and Audrey. But from Christmas 1938 it’s clear he’s starting to realise his feelings, and Christmas 1939 he may well have been about to tell her how he felt before she ran off. Siegfried is clearly a man who likes his routine and the status quo. We see that through his reaction to anybody new, and any changes to his house and business. So it’s fair to assume that if the status quo with Audrey is comfortable he might want to stick with it for as long as he can.

Where I am hoping they will now diverge with Audrey, is in making their true feelings known and fighting for her to stay with them. Gerald took a long time to really let her know how he felt, and he never really seemed to push forward at all with their relationship. She initiated the first two sets of kisses we see. He initiated the third, but only after she had made the decision to go with him, and he had asked her if that made them engaged. I would hope that, while being gentlemanly, Siegfried would be more of an initiator in their relationship, and he would make sure she knows how much he loves her throughout. I would also hope that when it comes to getting engaged he would make some decent effort in that regard, or at least make it romantic.

And then we come to Audrey’s reaction to both of them. She initiated the kisses with Gerald but very little else. She seems incapable of being straightforward and certain with him, whereas she can be easily with Siegfried. For example Gerald asks her if she’s sure about leaving, and she never answers him, whereas when Siegfried asks if she’s sure about staying she interrupts him in her eagerness to answer, and does so again when he asks if he’s taken her for granted.

The one time that really isn’t the case is with leaving them. She takes some considerable time, we can assume, before finally telling Siegfried she’s leaving, and even then she can’t tell him verbally. She writes it down and he guesses that she’s leaving him. But when she decides she can’t go with Gerald she seems to go straight to his door and tells him fairly easily.

She seems to accept Gerald’s statement that he and Rock will leave quickly, with very little concern beyond the immediate pang of sadness. However, when Siegfried does his best to make her feel like her leaving isn’t bothering him, that suggestion does seem to get to her.

So in conclusion to this long rambling diatribe, which may or may not make any sense, Siegfried and Gerald have their close similarities and stark differences. Both want Audrey to be happy, whether they end up happy themselves or not. But only one of them, when all is said and done, seems to make her truly contented.

[akajustmerry]

for the ask thing: a league of their own (the tv show)

heck yeah

My rating (1-10): 7ish/10

My favourite character: tie between lupe and max!!!

My least favourite character: carson sorryyyyy. i just think she's the least interesting to me personally.

The character I think I'd be friends with: clance!!! she is just like me fr with her iconic wizard of oz rant!

The character I think I won't hit off with: honestly.......all these beautiful people are jocks and i am extremely unsporty so i probablyyyy wouldn't hit it off with any

My favourite episode/scene: max getting their hair cut by their uncle <3 made me cry!

Whose clothing style I like best: max's! very much how i'd dress if i could

Times I watched it (and if I would again): i've watched it once and dearly loved it! idk if I'll watch it again though. maybe if it gets a second season by some miracle!

Send me the name of a series / film

[asteria-argo]

10, 17, and/or 20!

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

To All The Better Places! It's hands down my most popular fic and I really wasn't expecting it to be because it's pretty niche canon divergent au! I thought a couple of my friends would read it to be nice but otherwise it would mostly be for myself but a lot of people have been just as excited for it as me!

17. What's something you've learned about while doing research for a fic?

A lot! I've recently been researching the structure of Youth Leagues in the UK, I've been learning about soccer in general because I am a very unsporty person who used to hide in the bathrooms during PE rather than participate so I didn't even know the basic rules and I've also recently learned about adoption laws in the UK!

I also for a fic that will not be published publicly, recently learnt that the last ever person to be put on trial and executed for witchcraft was a woman named Mary Hicks alongside her daughter Elizabeth in 1716

20. What's a favorite title for a fic you've written?

Oh, The Horrors will forever be my favourite title, I just feel so clever about it. I will say I'm also very proud of To All The Better Places both the main works title and the chapter titles I've been coming up with!

[locamotivednp]

once again dan and phil upload on a euros day, gay unsporty kings, alas i am invested and didn't get to watch the video until now so now i am binging Phan Outfits during the halftime,,,, i am,,,

they're gonna kill me, i'm not making it to tour, phil has a WAIST FOR DAYS, dan has a TAN AND FRECKLES and it goes SO NICE with that first coloured shit,,, i'm so,,,

i desperately need a professional stylist to dress dan in colour cause phil bb i love you but you are chronically unfashionable (i can say this i dress like him)

I am trying so hard to focus on the euros but im so sick over phils waist HELLO??

I am not normally this much of a phillie but hiiiii. my brain cannot cope with this much going on haha

and yeah dan in color is always so good he needs to wear it more PLS we are all begging (including phil obviously)

[decayra]

alright thanks to everyone who helped me get started, unfortunately can't follow y'all since this is a sideblog BUT i started looking at my calories intake and mostly do omad with a few snacks here and there and it's okayish! fasting until mealtime isn't the problem really, but rather the dizzyness, ugh :/ i try to drink enough water tho.

also found it easy to massively reduce my calories intake, but difficult to burn more than i eat, I'm a pretty unsporty person, i just took a 45 walk today and that didn't do a lot haha ✨

anyway, if anyone's got further advice i'd be really greatful for that. especially since my roommates will be home in a few days and idk how i can properly keep that up without them noticing ://

[borntogayz]

Thank u @albonoooo for the tag!

1. Do u make ur bed?

Mosttttt mornings but not always

2. Favorite number?

2, 4, 6

3. What’s your job?

Retail at the mall… it’s a chocolate store lolll

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

This next school year is my last of college and I might get a masters in a couple of years so maybe!

5. Can you parallel park?

Yes but to a certain degree… I have to have a good amount of space

6. Do you think aliens are real?

I think there’s definitely other life forms out there so sure

7. can you drive a manual car?

No.

8. Guilty pleasure?

I don’t necessarily feel guilty but I guess sweet treats, hitting the penjamin, and love island (all three at once if I’m lucky)

9. Tattoos?

I have four! I plan on getting more but traveling for certain artists so it’ll be slow but I want like a patchwork of tats

10. Favorite color?

All shades of green

11. Favorite type of music?

The majority of the music I like tends to be indie rock or 2000s rock

12. Do you like puzzles?

YES I’m a Microsoft puzzle enjoyer too because physical puzzles take up so much space and hurt my back

13. Favorite childhood sport?

None… I’m soooo unsporty. I quit them all 😭

14. Do you talk to yourself?

All the time yes

15. Tea or coffee?

I drink more coffee and I’m an espresso enthusiast

16. First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I think an artist

17. What movies do you adore?

Kikis delivery service, submarine, oceans 11, Les miserables

I tagggg @wanderingblindly @feraltwinkseb @mctwinkdom sorry if any re tags

❤️

[deaddoveadventures]

🥀 romance headcanons

tagged by: @undyingmedium ((thank you so much I suck at romance so this was interesting to fill out)) tagging: @windwithinmyveins @springvaletales @astralfox0893

name: Curumë

nickname: He doesn't really have one ic

gender: Male

romantic orientation: Pansexual

preferred pet names: He doesn't like receiving pet names, but he will dish them out. They are all meant to tease in some way, like adding "little" in front of someone's name or profession.

relationship status: single as a pringle

opinion on true love: "Love will be love. It comes it goes, nothing's built to last forever. Rather than looking for 'true' love I prefer taking whatever love I've got and enjoy it to the fullest without questioning it too much. What's the point in spoiling the feeling."

opinion on love at first sight: "Some certainly manage to catch my eye at first glance and it'd be a shame to miss out on them." <- ((fuckboi statement if I ever heard one))

how ‘romantic’ are they?: I wouldn't call Curumë romantic. If you get into a relationship with him it's more like a thrill-seeking rollercoaster (yes I am aware of the red flags). He likes relationships that have friction. Nevertheless, I think if he settled with someone he really cares about there would be moments of sweetness, oddly quiet moments that are actually spent in earnest and he'd value them very highly. He'd also respect his partner deeply.

ideal physical traits: Smaller than him, dexterous, and sporty. Has a bit of muscle and knows how to fight. He thinks freckles or beauty marks are cute. Same with curly hair. However, he also does appreciate long, well-taken care of hair. Either eyes to get lost in, or eyes that have a fiery spark in them. Dimples from laughing a lot. Slender fingers and hands.

ideal personality traits: Feisty, wild, untamed. Can rival his stubbornness. Can rival his chaos with their own chaos. Doesn't pry, and enjoys their own freedom just as much as he does. Self-confident and headstrong. Selfless. Thrill-seeker. A partner in crime so to speak.

unattractive physical traits: Frail and weak, unsporty, dull eyes, and on men he dislikes beards and "bara" body types a lot.

unattractive personality traits: Too much selflessness, self-righteousness, religiousness to the point of fanaticism. Goodie-Two-Shoes. Martyrs, and "Heroes". Cruelty without reason, self-love, and arrogance without having anything to back it up. Hypocrites.

ideal date: Honestly, I hate to admit it but at this point, getting into a passionate argument and agreeing to disagree while having hate-sex. (He is not a healthy partner we all know.)

do they have a type?: Yeah I guess any other rogue-ish type and rebel

average relationship length: Short. Maybe a maximum of half a year. But if he finds someone he truly loves and cares about I can see it last for multiple years, though, maybe on an on-and-off basis.

preferred non-sexual intimacy: Being close to each other, just spending time together doing whatever. Standing close to each other, even without necessarily touching. Wrapping arms around their partner from behind. Ruffling each other's hair. Forehead kisses. Spooning in bed if they are serious about it.

opinion of public affection: "Hells yeah, everyone should know about us and we should be an eyesore to look at."

past relationships?: The more I wrote about Caydranth I think he had a crush on her to be honest. I can't help but feel he did. Also, he had various flings in the past. A lot of these flings hate him because he is somewhat of a fuckboi. One time he got serious about an elvish rogue from a rival gang, who ended up betraying him. That kind of burnt him. But he also kind of thinks it was a clever move. He has issues. He still admires her for being clever, but they haven't seen each other since that day.

[calimanc]

15 questions tag game

Thank you for the tags @thursdayinspace and @deathsbestgirl and sorry that I'm slow! ❤️❤️

Were you named after anyone? Nope!

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like three nights ago

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I do not. Unfortunately I do not have a beautiful coworker who has been in love with me for the past 7 years to swoop in with my frozen ova and volunteer to fix that for me either.

WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY? I am historically extremely unsporty. I grew up doing dance and now I'm a qualified yoga teacher and I enjoy hiking.

DO YOU USE SARCASM? Is this a joke?

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Whether or not they pose a threat to me. I am not normal right now but it is what it is.

WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Brown

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings, this is why I have been devouring MSR fic!

ANY TALENTS? I don't know about that. I'm great at working with kids. I'm really good at planning travel.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? California

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Reading (xf fanfic mainly for the past 8 months), pottery, museuming, yoga, being outside

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Not as an adult but I had the best cat from preschool until senior year of college

HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'6"/1.67m

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? History. Loved it. Majored in it. Went to postgrad for it but turns out grad school is kind of the worst. I'll talk to you about it all day if you like. History, not grad school.

DREAM JOB? Learning officer in a museum with a decent salary. It's a normal job, it's just such a difficult industry and the pay is horrendous. But I love it so much. There was a post on here a while back talking about how the only person the op had ever believed had true job satisfaction was a girl doing science presentations in a museum over a microphone like she was a WWE announcer or something and I was like yup. Getting kids hyped in a museum is the absolute best feeling in the world.

Tagging @thexfileswithoutcontext, @arrowolicity17, @ragnarockz, @pookie-mulder, @platonic-activity, @scullaaaaaay and anyone else who wants to play!

[kamyru]

Her shampoo (Suzumu Mado x MC) (Shorts)

This is for @voltagefandomproject.

Word counting: 612

"It's raining outside," Suzumu said after returning from his smoking break. He put down his hood and ruffled his hair.

"Then I have to go home now."

MC got her bag, put her outdoor clothes on, and leaned to take her shoes. Suzumu stayed in the doorways the entire time. Droplets of water ran down his temples from his hair. He methodically squeezed the water out of strands of his hair, ignoring MC's frantic moves. When she tried to push him away, Suzumu put a hand in front of her.

"You're not going anywhere. It's raining cats and dogs outside."

A pout appeared on MC's face.

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Sleep in here?" Suzumu looked at MC through his bangs.

"I don't have pajamas."

"I can lend you my clothes."

Suzumu was as red as a tomato, and he knew it, but it was alright because MC was even worse. She let her hand go through Suzumu's hair to undo the glued strands Suzumu created while squeezing the water out of them.

"Why didn't you tell me when you saw me getting ready?"

Suzumu shrugged his shoulders, and a childish grin appeared on his face. MC flicked his forehead. At first, she was pouting, then, Suzumu's grin contaminated her, and her pout transferred to the hurt man. As revenge, Suzumu leaned dangerously close to MC. She could feel his breath and was a second away from taking a step back. But the unsporty man was faster, and his lips touched MC's forehead.

MC, Suzumu, and Taro played board games for the rest of the evening. None of them even cared that the sound of the rain had faded hours ago. Or, they just ignored it. After his next cigarette, Suzumu came back with dry hair. MC looked at him for long minutes, observing how Suzumu's bangs were as fluffy as when he left.

"So, where are my pajamas?" MC's heart was beating dangerously fast. She didn't hurry to get her outdoor clothes or her shoes. No, she waited for Suzumu's shirt, which smelled like him, was his, and felt like him - the perfect combination for a long night of thinking of her crush.

Tomato-Suzumu went to his closet to find some old t-shirts and shorts from when he was even skinnier.

Minutes later, MC ran out of the shower, wearing only a towel. She got as close to Suzumu as platonically possible and sniffed his hair.

"Do you use the same shampoo as me?" MC asked while falling into Suzumu's lap.

For seconds, the man was only blinking fast, trying to understand what had happened and find excuses. It was true that he observed MC's shampoo when she accidentally answered his video call while in the bathtub, even before she told him about her feelings. It was somehow reassuring to have something that reminded him of her.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Suzumu said and tried to get some space by turning his head to one side.

"He chose it deliberately the last time we went shopping. When I said it smells like you, he admitted that he knows it," Taro mumbled while walking by the couple.

Both of the flustered messes looked at him with red faces. However, the giant couldn't care less and disappeared into another room.

MC left Suzumu's lap and returned to the bathroom. Half an hour later, she appeared in front of Suzumu, wearing his clothes and his favorite smell. The man had to excuse himself and go outside for a smoke. However, his lips didn't touch the cigarette. He was too busy to put his feelings in order.

[rashmeerl]

The second set of UEFA EURO 2024 group games are underway and #thisweekthosebooks tries doing sporty – and finds three great reads. Pl have a listen…just about 4 minutes