#unsure if you will even remember them the next time you cycle

[vargurvargur]

destined to die and destined to live forever

[impactedfates]

hola mijo 💓puedes hacer the tall males as dads? like for example welt, blade, jing yuan, luocha, dan heng i wish i could argenti to this list 🥰 but he not out yet so hottie okay gracias 🐾☝

★ A/N: Hola!! Yes I can :)) We all love a father figure right?

☆ Genre/Trope: Platonic + Familial

★ Format: HeadCannons (Separate)

☆ Warnings: None

★ Extra: Just HCs of the HSR men as dads, you can view yourself as their child or as their lover // I only did the characters that you've stated in the request excluding Argenti // Not proofread

Welt as a dad is a 10/10. He would be so supportive no matter what you'd want to be. He has his own child back in his actual universe after all and takes care of him so well.

He's the type to proudly show those messy drawings his kid makes to his friends and act like his kid is the next Pablo Pacasso even if all they drew was a stick figure.

He also wants you to try new things but he won't force you if you truly don't want too, all in all. Welts such a sweet and supportive dad <33

Blade as a father? Now I wouldn't say he's the worst but he's not the best either. Biological or not, if he was tasked to take care of a kid, he will. He may not understand much about how to be a good father he manages to keep them fed, clothes ect. And with the help of the other Stellaron Hunters they're taken care of well

.

.

.

Except when it comes to affection. He'll try his best but his job makes it hard for him to really be home and hang out with his kid, not to mention he still has that want to die. He's emotionally unavailable most of the time. He's trying his best but he won't be much good if someone were to want to vent to him (Sorry!)

He can also sound harsh in some of his words and the kid may not get the message he's trying to convey! He may say something he sees as positive but his tone and what not makes it seem harsh.

Overall? 7.5/10 as a father

Jing Yuan I think is also a great father! Though like Blade, his job does make him unavailable most of the time. Especially since he's a General.

BUT, we both know this man would drop anything if his kid were to message/call or anything of the source of they were in trouble. Even if it was to just make a complaint about the babysitter he hired to take care of his kid.

He does everything he should to ensure his kid is loved and taken care of, and sure he may not have as much time as he'd like to spend time with his kid, he tries his best.

As a father, I'd give him a 9.5/10.

I'm unsure what Luochas thoughts on about taking care of kids in all honesty. As a doctor himself, he is aware of the cycle of life but whether or not he wishes to be apart of helping the kid grow up is unknown.

I don't think he'd have any adopted kids or something like that, however if he were to get someone pregnant he wouldn't leave them. He was a factor in how the baby was made and if the other person wishes to give birth to said kid then he'll help.

He's not a distant father per say, maybe strict but he doesn't mean to come out as harsh. He does everything a father should do and encourages his kid to study and all. He's not the most amazing father to have, honestly his kids probably prefer their other parent over him (Unless they left him and he became a single father)

All in all, while he may not be the best father he's not the worst and probably is just your average dad. 8/10

I love Dan Heng so much if you didn't know (I say as if my tumblr theme isn't Dan Heng) and this isn't even a bias but I do think he'd be a good father.

He's so worried he won't be but he really is. He remembers everything his kid likes and dislikes and applies it when he's cooking or buying something in general. He won't force his kid to do anything they don't want and will help them study.

He'd be proud of his kids, even if their grades are bad. To him, as long as they tried that's all he cares about. He may struggle with showing his care towards them, however it's easy to see he's trying.

If I had to choose out of all the male cast who I think would be the best dad? Probably Welt. I mean from what I know he already has the experience with kids and now he's taking care of 3 more (4 if you wanna count Pom Pom)...but also it's funny to call him Grandpa instead-

[multi-fandom-things730]

Ricky Starks Saves The Day

Summary: Ricky refuses to watch his ship fall apart, and makes it his mission to get Y/N and Hook back together.

Warnings: angst, cussing, arguing, drinking, implied smut, fluff, lil bit of spice

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this imagine!!!!! All the support on my last one has been SO amazing and I cannot express how grateful I am for it!!!!🥹🥰 I love all of you so so so so much!!!!! And once again, a special shoutout to my bestie @99hook !!!!! Ilysm bestie and thank you!!!!🧡🤍 If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be posting this🥹🩷

It was never a good idea to spew words without thinking them through while you're both furious.

Because when the feelings of anger fade, you are left with nothing but sadness and immense regret.

This was something Hook learned a little too late.

All Y/N wanted was for him to spend a little more time with her, and neither of them could even remember why it escalated like it had. But it did.

And then Hook decided to blurt that he thought it might be better for them to break up.

Now both of them were miserable, and everyone could see it.

But Hook was too nervous to approach Y/N, as she had avoided him entirely since that night.

And Y/N had been avoiding him because seeing him made her so sad.

It was just a cycle of sadness, that all of their friends were sick and tired of seeing them be stuck in.

Enter Ricky Starks; who made it his mission to get them back together.

He loved both Hook and Y/N dearly, and just wanted them to be happy. He wasn't gonna sit back and watch true love go to waste.

But at that same time, Y/N had decided enough moping was enough.

And with some encouragement from her best friend Kris Statlander, she found herself considering dating again.

So when Ricky walked into catering and plopped down next to the two women, their conversation almost gave him heart palpitations.

"I'm telling you Y/N, the best way to get over a guy is to get under another" Kris smirks.

Ricky starts choking on his food, making Y/N's eyes widen and she pats his back. "Are you ok Ricky?"

"Y-Yeah" he croaks out, clearing his throat. "You know, personally, I don't really agree with that philosophy"

Kris raises an eyebrow at him. "Oh yeah? And what would you suggest?"

"Um," Ricky falters, unsure of what to say. "I, uh… maybe some ice cream?"

"I like his idea way more" Y/N immediately says.

Ricky feels momentary relief, before Kris scoffs. "Ignore him. Look, just give it a try. Once you go out with another guy, you may realize that you don't miss him as much as you think"

Ricky cringes, as he can tell Y/N is considering it.

"But who would I even go out with?" She asks after a moment.

This makes Kris perk up. "Take your pick hon. I mean, honestly, have you seen yourself?"

"I don't know" Y/N sinks in her chair.

"Hey Y/N" She looks up when she hears her name and sees Darby Allin approaching them.

"Hey Darby, what's up?" She asks with a smile.

"Do you remember that one night you did my face paint when the makeup artist had an emergency and had to leave?" He asks nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah" Y/N answers.

"It's just.. the way you did it was really cool and I wanted to ask if you'd do it again?" He rushes out.

Y/N grins. "Of course I will!"

She sits her plate down and waves goodbye to Ricky and Kris. "I'll see you guys later"

With that, she walks off with Darby.

Ricky scoffs at the pleased look on Kris' face.

This causes Kris to raise an eyebrow. "What?"

Ricky shrugs. "Nothing"

Kris narrows her eyes at him. "Oh hell no! You wanna get her and Hook back together! That’s why you said all that stuff!"

"So what if I do?" Ricky challenges. "Her and Hook are true love! Hook made a stupid mistake, and he wants to fix it"

"Too bad" Kris immediately snaps back. "She is just getting better, and I'll be damned if I let you bring her down again"

"I ain't gonna bring her down!" Ricky defends. "I wanna reunite her with the love of her life!"

Kris scoffs. "I'll believe Hook is sorry when he starts showing it. Until then, expect me to run interference on whatever little plan you have cooked up"

Ricky leans back in his chair with a groan as Kris walks off.

It's then that Hook enters, and raises an eyebrow at the exasperated look on his friend's face. "What's wrong with you?"

Ricky glares at him. "I'm gonna punch you"

"There! All done!" Y/N grins.

Darby opens his eyes and smiles widely when he looks in the mirror. "It looks amazing! Thanks Y/N"

"My pleasure" she smiles back, leaning down to hug him from behind.

He puts his hands on top of her’s and leans back into her. "I have a question"

"Hmm?" Y/N hums.

"Would you like to go out after the show?" Darby asks.

Y/N bites her lip. "Darby.. you’re a really great guy. I just... I don’t think I’m ready to date someone else yet. I’m sorry”

"No!" Darby exclaims. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that. Not go out like a date. I meant just go out as friends”

Y/N lets out a breath, and they both laugh. "Then I'd love to”

"Yes! You're going on a date!" Kris exclaims obnoxiously loud, making Y/N quickly shush her.

But the damage was done, and Ricky overheard Kris' yells.

Ricky's eyes widen, and he scrambles over to them. "So Y/N, a date, huh?"

"No! It's not-" Y/N tries to explain, but is cut off by Kris.

"It totally is" Kris grins. "Y/N and Darby are getting drinks after the show tonight"

With that, she grabs Y/N's shoulders and guides her away, and looks back to send Ricky a triumphant smirk.

Ricky scoffs and runs off down the halls to find Hook.

He finds him sitting on a crate in the hallway, and Ricky snatches the earbuds out of Hook's ears.

Hook looks up with a glare. "What the hel-"

"No time for pleasantries!" Ricky yells. "You need to get off your ass and apologize to Y/N! I know she still has feelings for you, she's told me! And you still love her! You're just too chicken to tell her that you’re sorry, and she's about to go on a date with Darby so you have officially run out of time! You need to go get your girl and live happily ever after! I'll be damned if Kris will beat me!"

Hook stands up with a scowl on his face. "She's going on a date with that little prick?"

Ricky frantically nods and exasperatedly yells “Yes!"

"Where?" Hook demands, causing a smirk to grow on Ricky's face.

"How do you know they're here?" Hook asks as Ricky pulls into a parking spot at a busy bar.

"I asked her. You know, like talking to her" Ricky deadpans, making Hook shoot him a glare.

"Now get out of my car, and don't come back until you've professed your love to her" Ricky demands.

Hook does get out of the car, and takes a deep breath before entering the building.

Y/N and Darby were tucked away in a booth near the back, talking and laughing without a care in the world.

Hook can feel his face flush when he sees what Y/N is wearing, in both anger and attraction. He knew Kris must have picked it because she always needed to be hyped up a little to wear that damn dress. It was the definition of that little black dress every guy loves. It was a short, fitted bodycon dress, with a bustier top and ruched detail on the skirt that accentuated her curvy waist and hips.

That damn dress made her look both classy and sexy all at once, and Hook wanted to go snatch Y/N away from Darby and take her back to his hotel room and have her all to himself.

It was then that Y/N noticed Darby staring at something over her shoulder.

“What’s wrong? You got quiet” She leans in close to speak in his ear so he can hear, and places her hand on top of his.

Darby hesitates before answering. “Hook just walked in, and he’s coming over here”

Y/N’s head snaps around, and she easily spots Hook making his way through the crowd towards them.

Before she can debate between jumping up and running, or hiding under the table, he’s standing in front of them. “Hey Y/N”

“Why are you here Tyler?” Y/N asks with an annoyed expression.

“Can we talk?” Hook replies, shooting a rude look at Darby which only pisses Y/N off more.

“She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you, man. And we’re busy right now, I’m sure you can talk some other time” Darby says, a clear edge to his tone.

“I wasn’t fucking talking to you Allin” Hook snaps.

“Darby, it’s fine” Y/N cuts in, trying to prevent a fight from breaking out.

But neither one of them listened, and Y/N buries her head in her hands when Darby stands up and gets chest to chest with Hook.

She can’t hear what they’re saying to each other over the music and people, but she scrambles to get between them when Hook’s face hardens after Darby pushes him back.

“Hey! Enough!” Y/N exclaims.

But the two just continue to glare at each other over her head.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes at their childishness before reaching down to snatch up her purse and storm out of the bar.

She walks a little ways down the road, before stopping when she realizes she left her coat as a chill runs through her body.

“You left this” she hears Hook’s nervous voice behind her.

She turns, and the scowl on her face softens when she sees the sad look on his.

She takes the coat he was holding out for her. “Thank you”

“You’re welcome” He answers, shuffling back and forth on his feet.

The two of them stand in awkward silence for a moment before Hook speaks up. “Do you need a ride to the hotel?”

Y/N thinks for a second; while she is mad at Hook for coming here and ruining her fun, she’s also mad at Darby for pushing Hook.

“It won’t just be you and me” He elaborates. “Ricky’s waiting for me in the car”

“Why’d you come here Tyler?” Y/N asks after a short moment of thinking.

“I..” Hook falters, scrambling for an excuse before finally realizing he just needs to tell the truth. “Because Ricky told me you and Darby were going on a date tonight”

“So you came to crash it?!” Y/N snaps.

“Seriously Tyler?! You’re so fucking childish” Y/N rants as she starts speed walking to the parking lot, Hook following close behind. “You broke up with me, but you still think you can control who I go out with?!”

Ricky glances over when he hears yelling, and cringes when he realizes it’s Y/N.

She swings the passenger door open and plops down in the seat, before crossing her arms and leaning her body towards the window.

“Hello Ricky” she grumbles as Hook climbs in the backseat.

“I do not think I have any sort of control over you Y/N” Hook insists. “I just-“

“You just what?!” Y/N interjects, whipping around in her seat to glare back at him.

“I didn’t want you to go out with someone else! But that doesn’t mean I think I have control over you!” Hook yells back.

Ricky lets out an overly dramatic sigh as he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.

This was totally not going to plan.

Ricky practically dives out of the car when they get to the hotel, as Y/N and Hook take their time; more concerned about arguing than getting out.

Taz, who was also just arriving at the hotel, stops short of entering when he recognizes the voices of Y/N and Tyler fighting.

He walks over to Ricky. “What the hell’s going on?”

“I heard that Y/N was going on a date with Darby, so I told Hook. Thinking back I wish I hadn’t. And then I found out where they were going and me and Hook went to crash their date so he could tell Y/N that he’s still in love with her. He went inside and the next thing I knew they came out arguing. They’ve been arguing ever since” Ricky rambles out the entire story.

Taz scoffs. “You two are idiots. In what world was crashing her date gonna do anything except piss her off?”

Ricky rubs the back of his neck. “Our world I guess?”

Then Hook gets out of the car, and he goes to open her door but she swiftly opens it herself. “I don’t need you opening my damn door Tyler! I’m more than capable of doing it myself! Just like I’m capable of deciding who I spend my fucking time with!”

“I never fucking said you weren’t!” Hook exclaims.

“Then why even go to the bar?! You still haven’t given me a straight answer!” Y/N fumes.

“Because I’m still fucking in love with you!” He finally exclaims, stopping Y/N in her tracks.

The two stand in silence for a moment, before Hook lets out a shaky breath. “I’m still so in love with you Y/N, ok?” His voice cracks, and tears well up in both of their eyes. “That’s why I went to the bar. Because the thought of you being with someone else makes me feel like someone is trying to rip my heart out of my chest. I know I fucked up that night Y/N. I was mad, and I was just spouting shit, and I caused myself to lose the most important thing in my life. And I know you’ll never fucking forgive me; I know how much I hurt you. And I fucking hate myself for it! And I know you deserve to move on, and I had no right to go there tonight. But- fuck Y/N! I don’t know how to come to terms with losing you! I can’t..”

Y/N stares at him for a moment, and Hook feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest from the anxiousness coursing through his body.

But Y/N was using that moment to attempt and find the right words to say. “It wasn’t a date..”

Hook furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “What? Ricky said..”

“He just overheard Kris” Y/N elaborates. “She’s been trying to get me to go out again. But I couldn’t do it”

“Why not?” Hook dares to ask as she takes a step towards him.

She puts her hands on his tense arms and makes eye contact before answering. “Because I’m still in love with you. And no matter what mistakes you made, I know that no one else will ever make me feel the way I do for you”

And with that, Hook sweeps her up by her waist and hugs her as tight as he can. She lets out a relieved laugh, and hugs back just as tight.

He places her back on the ground, and their lips collide in a messy, but sweet and passionate kiss.

They only pull away from each other when they hear an obnoxiously loud cheer from Ricky, and they turn to face him and Taz with amused laughter.

“Sorry guys! I didn’t mean to break up your moment. I’m just so excited!” Ricky bounces up and down, and Y/N laughs again when she notices he has his phone out recording them.

“Why were you recording us, Ricky?” She asks with a giggle, as Hook leans down to kiss her head.

“Two reasons. One, I needed footage of my ship getting back together. And two, I gotta show this to Ms.Statlander! True love prevails!” He yells with a victorious grin, before running into the hotel to find Kris.

After Ricky’s gone, Taz approaches them and places a hand on Hook’s shoulder with a delighted smile. “I'm glad you two are working this out. I missed you being around Y/N”

She smiles back. “I missed you too Taz”

With that, Taz bids them goodnight and heads up to his room.

Hook places his hand on the small of her back and guides her inside.

He places one more chaste kiss on her lips. “Now that I can kiss you again I don't ever wanna stop”

“Then don’t” Y/N quips back with a cheeky smirk.

He grins down at her when she pecks his lips once again.

“I gotta get us checked in; but after that, your cute little ass is all mine mamas” he whispers lowly in her ear, and his hand trails down to sneakily grab her ass.

“It’s always been your’s” She giggles and stays tucked into his side as they head over to get checked in.

Hook talks to the desk clerk as she pulls out her phone after it buzzes in her pocket.

She laughs when she sees a message from Ricky.

It was a selfie he took of a rather pissed off Kris, and him grinning like a kid in a candy store.

She shows Hook as they’re walking towards the elevator, and he lets out a hearty laugh. “He better stop messing with her before she knocks him out”

When the elevator door opens, they quickly slip out as Hook’s hands start to trail up and down her body.

They get to the room, but as Hook swipes the key card the two of them look up when a yell echos through the hall.

“I told you to shut up Ricky!” They hear Kris yell, followed by more yells from Ricky.

Y/N goes to walk towards the screams, but Hook snakes his arm around her waist and pulls her into the room.

“Tyler!” Y/N chides, but her protests get caught in her throat when he presses her up against the door.

Their bodies are flush against each other, and Hook immediately dips his head down to start trailing kisses along her neck. “They aren’t our problem right now mamas. All I’m concerned with is reminding you how good it feels when I make you scream my name”

[hogwartsfirebolt]

crescent

“The wolf is not really separate from me,” Harry told me after our first date. He was walking me home, hands in his pockets, broad-shouldered and freezing — his jacket hung around my shoulders. The moon was a third member of our party, waning crescent, walking alongside us. “I feel it, even now. It wants out.”

I hummed. “Is it hard? To keep down?”

“A bit. It kind of always wants out, around you.” He didn’t sound upset, rather on the verge of laughter, like it was some private joke I wasn’t privy to, not yet. “It’s kind of funny.”

I was still too quiet back then, unsure of where we were going, if we were going, and my mind raced whenever I was around him, so I didn’t fully grasp the meaning until months and months later. I watched him go through moon cycle after moon cycle, periods of restlessness, hyper-focus, pain, hunger, something more, before I began to understand what he meant.

“The wolf is me, but … uncensored. More powerful. More stupid,” he said the night he finally let me stay with him during the full moon. “I won’t hurt you, because it knows you. Just don’t let me near anyone else, we don’t want a repeat of last month.”

Last month someone had caught him transforming. He hadn’t hurt them, they’d only seen him breaking a few of his own bones, but the story had sold well to the papers, with gruesome details that couldn’t have been further from the truth. The media ate up everything related to Harry, still. It had been a year of our something by then, a favorite topic amongst the papers, but Harry insisted he didn’t care about that, only about them using his image to perpetuate the lycanthrope stereotype.

“What should I do if someone comes close?” I asked. We were far up in the highlands, but there was still a chance.

Harry grinned and circled my waist with one arm, gaze warm. “Just wiggle prettily or something. Distract me. I won’t be able to resist you.”

When I saw it for the first time, a beautiful, mighty beast of evergreen eyes and powerful strides, the wolf met my gaze head on, sniffed me curiously and, after a second of hesitation, leaned forward so I could touch its muzzle. It stuck by my side all night, and placed itself between me and the strange sounds of the mountain. A protector. It was more Harry than I ever expected it to be.

“How can you tell it’s me, when you’re the wolf?” I asked him the next morning. He was naked and shivering, but his eyes were alight with the remnants of the freedom he’d experienced, howling at the night.

He went sheepish, he always did when discussing the specifics of his animal instincts. “Your scent. It comforts the wolf. It knows you’re pack, that you’re its human.”

It took him forever to share those things with me without shame, he always gave brief answers and changed the subject as fast as he could, but when he finally gave in to my curiosity, he admitted what I, by then, already suspected.

“I knew. During our first date, and even before, it’s why I asked you out in the first place. I already knew that — me and the wolf, we wanted you. We knew it was going to be you. It used to want to leap out of my skin whenever you were around.”

And I remembered his words from that very first night and laughed, because really, it was kind of funny.

[romanoffsbish]

I Still Can’t Fucking Breathe…

WandaNat x Fem!Reader

I Can’t Breathe

Requested 🥺 | Avoid this fic if you know you won’t fair well with “vivid” imagery

Warnings: Heavy on the past Self Harm/Current Temptations(Indulgences—ED/Physical stimuli—Cold Bath), Blood, Overall Numbness, Ideation. Ends happy, and this one shows the Reader saving themselves a bit 🥹 | 3,082 Words

Numb—A state of mind that is all consuming. Feeling anything at all is next to impossible. The thing about it too, is that it never goes away; it can be dulled, buried even, but in the silence it always finds a way to creep back in.

—————

For almost two years now you'd managed to evade its cold grasp, but after the fight you had with your girlfriends, and their disappearance immediately after for a month long mission, you find yourself back where you'd started. Thoughts of how the world would be brighter without you consume your mind whenever you have the energy to think, and when you don't all you can do is stare mindlessly at the door.

Everyday you lose more of your fight to stay, the lack of Natasha's comforting humming to put you to sleep has left you perpetually tired, and without Wanda's cooking you're starving. Pathetic is all you feel at the prospect of not being able to even exist without them here; it accompanies the numb well, because you cycle between fits of sobs, and dissociative episodes.

Two weeks of mindlessly existing went by in a blur, everyday you spent even more time in the bed, in unchanged clothes that reeked of musk. Trudging down the stairs had become a chore, one that seemed unnecessary when you knew the women you loved weren't coming back yet.

Your mind cruelly reminds you that it might even be permanent, flashes of their faces full of disappointment plague your mind all day long.

It's funny really—if only you could laugh...

You honestly can't remember why the three of you fought at all, it's all irrelevant now though. Nothing matters, no rational thought process is going to bring you out of your current spiral. Finding a cause for it will have no effect here... Natasha and Wanda's return is the only way you see this coming to an end, well, you also envision other ways but those come with a permanence that you're honestly unsure of.

Death has been a potential occurrence that you'd welcomed since your early adolescence. Memories of lying awake while your parents fought over God knows what echo in your mind as you ironically lay in this bed in total silence. A childhood spent fighting to survive breeding an adulthood where said concept was all but played out. Fighting everyday just to reach the end of your youth to find it doesn't get better. All you do now is scrape by with more burdens.

However, every time you feel those burdens weighing you down you remember that you had two people who were rooting for you to push back. Even with your doubts on if they still want you or not, a tiny part of you still holds onto hope that they do, and that's all that seems to be keeping you from the edge.

It'd been an entire sixteen hours since you last left your bed, every muscle in your body ached as you failed to utilize them, and there was also this really intense pressure on your bladder. Still, you generally found yourself unmoving, but then the air kicked on and you were aware of the stench you were apparently exuding.

Shockingly enough you were repulsed so badly by your own stench that you now found yourself standing still in the bathroom while the tap runs freezing cold water into the tub. Your lovers paid the bills, but in your mind you were undeserving of the hot water they funded. Cold water was a punishment you were worthy of, and so you entered the tub without a shiver; you didn't deserve to express your discomfort.

You watched the spout with an unwavering intensity, observing as the droplets of residual water fell about every forty five seconds. The minuscule sound of them rippling into the water reminding you of the way the crimson droplets of the past used to drip onto the tile flooring from your arms. Temptation is at its absolute precipice here, but then you start to see flashes of them with every single drip...

Drip...

The flash of crimson against a murky yellow tile fades from your mind fast. It's replaced by Wanda's smiling face and calm voice., "You're stronger than your thoughts are detka..."

Drip...

Your lip quivers as you see the oozing marks on your arms, too deep for your own patching up, you felt that familiarity; cold. When you blink you're quickly thrown into another memory. Natasha's arm is over your abdomen as she hums and smiles down at you, your attention slowly shifts to the opening door to see Wanda with a tray of food, and a wide grin; warmth.

Drip...

"Moya lyubov', I'm so proud of you.," Natasha cheers while placing soft lips to your faded scars before pulling you into a tight hug.

The last memory had felt so real, your wet body trembling as it imagined the pressure of a hug. Tears now befell your cheeks, but this time they were different as you now felt a glimpse of hope for the first time in two weeks. Their love was everything to you, and it was what guided you out of the cold tub, and what allowed your fingers to drop the untainted blade into a bin.

—

Natasha was thrashing about in the hotel bed, her mind wandering back to the night they left. Nothing felt right in her chest when she thinks of how sad you looked when they left in a huff. Angry words were muttered in the heat of the moment over shit that held no significance. Everyday that went by on this no contact mission led to a deepening sense of dread for the both of them. So much so that the top agent willing broke Shield protocols for you.

They tried to use a pay phone to call you, but you expectantly didn't answer, and they've been feeling even more uneasy ever since. Calling anyone else would've given themselves away, but now that she's staring at the ceiling of this dingy hotel room she reasons it would have been the smart thing to do regardless.

"I feel this tightness in my chest Natasha...," Wanda winces as she sits down beside her., "Something's wrong, and I'm not going to just ignore this and stay here two more weeks."

Natasha only nodded, hers was more akin to a deep pit in her stomach, but it was a definite sign that this mission was to be abandoned., "Let's go home.," she extended her hand out for her love, then guided her out to the incognito jet that was already holding their belongings.

—

It wasn't much—you knew that, but you were actually proud of yourself for being here at all.

Stood in the kitchen, dressed in Nat's sweats, and Wanda's oversized t-shirt you stared warily at the egg that was sizzling in the frying pan. Days had gone by since you last ate, so it was a daunting challenge to eat at all at this point. Fears of throwing it back up as your body is prone to retaliating against you in such ways consume your entire being leading you now to the safest bet you have—an unseasoned egg.

The crackling over the stove leaves your tired mind a bit preoccupied as the front door creaks open. Natasha enters first, followed quickly by the frantic witch who's heart momentarily settles at the sight of you cooking some food. The peace doesn't last long though when she fails to hear your thoughts, the emptiness in your head a frightening bout of deja vu.

Last time you were this calm they nearly lost you, and that wasn't a reality ever worth facing.

Natasha clued in to your state as well, her eyes roamed your body, taking notice of the way you had clearly thinned out in such a short time. Adding onto that the way you left your hair a sopping mess, and the lack of length on your nails she knew you'd been here suffering alone.

The women shared a moment of sorrowful eye contact, the witches lip trembling, but the former assassin shook her head—not now... Wanda nodded, then the pair made their way over to your rigid form, and as softly as she could Wanda laid her hand over your very own.

"Detka.," her word was a whisper that drew an audible whimper from your throat., "It's okay."

It wasn't really, you all knew that, but you all also knew that now that you're all together again that it would be fine eventually, and well quite frankly that had to count for something because if not, you were all left with nothing.

"Come here love, let me handle your hair...," Natasha coo'd in your ear as she gently guided you out of the kitchen and up to your room., "Sit down at the vanity for me please detka.," her voice was soft as ever so that she wouldn't startle you, she even smiled at you too for good measure, and though you couldn't return it just yet she saw the gratefulness within your orbs.

Natasha entered the bathroom with the intent to collect your brush, along with a variety of products for your hair and skin. The mess on the floor was overlooked completely as she rummaged around, but she stopped in her tracks when the lights reflected off something. Her hands trembled as she dropped the products in the sink before reaching for the trash can by the door., "Please, no, no, no..."

The truth became clear as she lifted the metal from the trash, a few tears fell from her eyes at the reality of what they were dealing with here. Thoughts of what could've become of you sends her tumbling to her knees, choking back her sobs because you didn't need more burdening, a tear falls atop the blade, and that's when she notices how easily it cascades off the metal.

The closer she observes the piece she realizes that there were no traces of blood on it, and no uncleaned stains along the tiles or sink either. It's enough to stop her tears, but the damage to her heart and psyche had already been done. The Russian rushes out of your joint bathroom, the need to be with you imminent, and when she finally reaches you she feels the need to hug you tightly, but she fears it might be too much too soon for you to handle.

Natasha set a hand on your shoulder, a clear yet non startling sign to you that she returned., "I'm going to blow dry your hair, then I'll put it up in a bun.," you shook your head., "Braids?," she tried again, and to her relief you nodded. The redhead went slowly, her hands gentle as they tousled through your wet locks, moving the hair around to aide the machine drying it.

After the hair was faintly damp she began to separate the strands meticulously, her eyes double focused as she caught ever tick of your face as she worked to tightly braid your hair. There was a ghost of a smile on your face when she scratched at your scalp affectionately, and her heart fluttered in her chest at the first sign of you coming back to them., "All done love."

"Detka, can I take your hoodie off please?," you looked at her warily, but eventually nodded., "Thank you.," she smiled softly at you even though her mind was screaming at her to hurry and make sure you were okay. At the sight of your unmarred skin she knew you were, her shoulders tension instantly eased up. Once you were slyly assessed Nat went into the hallway to collect her favorite hoodie from the dryer., "Arms up.," she gently commanded, and then she smiled when you groaned appreciatively.

"Now what?," she was shocked to hear your voice this soon, there was an obvious scratch to it from being inactive for several days, but it didn't effect the way she nearly burst into tears at hearing you speak., "Whatever you need.," the tears nearly won out though as she reached out to cup your cheek and you didn't evade her.

"C-can we please cuddle?," you looked at her with the most pitiful gaze, there was an air of embarrassment in them that left her a bit unsettled, but she still took your initiation of physical affection as a good sign that you were headed in the right direction., "Of course moya lyubov', sounds absolutely heavenly to me."

Natasha laid down first, pulling back the blanket she gave you all the autonomy here. Because though she was desperate to hold you, she also knew you were in a fragile headspace. She watched carefully as you slumped into a prominent dent in the mattress, her arms were now resting besides her body in wait for you. Without any words you used your hands to guide her flat onto her back, then after laying atop of her with your head over her chest you squeezed her arm., "Please hold me Natty."

Strong arms wrapped around your body in an instant, her hand was now resting over your head to hold you in place while she hummed along to your most favorite of her lullabies., "Sweet dreams pretty girl...," her hands never stopped rubbing calming circles into your back, and it wasn't long before you were snoring.

It wasn't until an hour later that Wanda quietly entered your shared bedroom., "What is it?," the witch lifted the tray into her lovers eye line, while hers fell to your currently relaxed face., "How long has she been out for Nat?," the redhead murmured her response of an hour while moving to rouse you awake, but Wanda reached out to stop her so she could do it.

"My sweet girl, time to wake up for me please.," her arms wrapped around your body as you shifted ever so slightly, she lifted you from Nat's body and settled you in her lap instead., "I brought you lots of different options honey, we know you're scared, but please try to eat."

Natasha was sat before you with the tray, she playfully waved food before your face to feel it out, her eyes watched your face for the slightest bit of intrigue, and she found that the apple dipped in peanut butter and yogurt chips seemed to win you over., "Here love.," you softly munched on the snack while instinctively l settling deeper into Wanda's embrace, and missing the way the pair were staring at you.

"How about these cucumbers in ranch, hm?," you allowed her to feed this one to you, your heart soon fluttering back to life at the sight of her emotionally charged smile, and also at the feel of Wanda's soft lips against your hairline., "Can you eat a little more for me angel?," you nodded against her chest, then accepted a few more bites of the varying foods until you knew you'd reached your bodies ultimate limit.

As Natasha carried the tray down to the kitchen Wanda continued to hold you close, rocking you in an attempt to soothe your soul. It had even appeared to be working when she felt your breathes evening out, but then she heard you gasping, and it was near painful for her to see you breaking down so candidly.

"I-I'm sorry.," her entire body froze as you not only spoke, but you felt the need to apologize., "No, detka we're the sorry ones here. We not only yelled at you due to our misguided anger, but then we left you all alone without so much as an apology or even a bit of reassurance."

"You didn't deserve that my sweetest love.," her lips tenderly pressed against your tear soaked cheeks., "So please don't apologize to us.," she then laid you down in the middle of the bed., "Let us apologize to you instead, we'll make it up to you, I promise...," her forehead was now pressed to yours, and your heart was cracking as her tears mixed with yours on your cheeks.

"We will, and we just hope you'll forgive us.," Natasha softly adds as she enters the bed, and masterfully pulls the both of you closer to her., "You're our entire world detka, the most precious thing we've ever called ours, and we will never leave you alone like this ever again."

"Nat—.," Wanda kissed your lips to cut you off., "She means it detka, no more joint missions, the promise isn't a fable—it's the truth, because if anything were to happen to you we wouldn't survive Y/N.," her voice cracked, and a steady stream of her tears befell your cheeks again. "Losing you would be devastating for us detka."

"I-I'm not going anywhere.," you sounded so small, like a meek little worker bee trying to impress the queen, but there was also a small flash of determination in your eyes that was caught by the both of them as they adoringly looked at you., "I promise I'm here to stay."

"Thank you detka, for fighting to stay, we know it's hard, but we're so freaking proud of you.," Wanda's lips lovingly pressed to yours, she just needed to feel the familiar touch she desired., "So gosh damn proud love.," Natasha agreed before taking her own chance to kiss you.

Neither of them stayed on your lips for long, they didn't want to overwhelm you at all, but fortunately for them you seemed content with the affection as you sighed softly and smiled softly as you melted back into the mattress.

There was no overnight fix for you here, they both knew that come tomorrow you'll be back in a vulnerable state, but the only difference is they will be there for you when you awake numbed. Natasha will be there to rock you in the morning when you wake up crying, and again at night, as she sings to you for as long as you need to fall asleep, and Wanda will be your hands as she bathes you, and feeds you when you can't manage to do the tasks on your own.

They'll be there to love you back to life every day until being a person again comes naturally, because even just one moment of happiness with you is worth a hundred bad days to them.

—————

[alittlebitofloveliness]

can you please do prompt 2 and 4 with johnny cade?

Outsiders Prompt Fic #5- Why does it hurt so much?

Hi anon! I chose prompt 2 to write for this one. Enjoy!

******************

Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain.

When he was three mama had dropped him taking him out of the bath and he’d hit his head bad enough to give him a concussion. When he was six dad had broken his arm after he lost a little league game and cried about it. He’d survived more beatings than most kids could even dream of- even most east side kids. He’d been sworn at, screamed at, kicked, punched, slapped, and on one particularly memorable occasion when he was fourteen, walloped with a two by four when his old man had been laid off from his job at the lumberyard. He’d even been jumped, bad enough that that horrible white scar tore down his face would be a permanent fixture he was still trying to come to terms with. Over the years he’d come to learn how to grin and bear it. He took every beating in silence, because crying or begging or even screaming only ever made them worse. He’d laughed with broken ribs. Smiled through a puffy lip. Leaned against his friends even when it pressed against his bruises, until pain became first a constant and then an afterthought, simply another fact of his miserable life. You spend enough time in pain, he’d come to realize, then being in pain just becomes normal. 

Which is why it’s strange that the stomach flu of all things seems to be able to bring him to his knees- literally. He’s currently puking in the Curtis’ bathroom, unsure if the vomiting or the agony radiating from his stomach is what’s forcing tears from his eyes.

God, his stomach hurts. He can’t remember anything ever hurting this much. Not even that time mama pressed his palm against the stove when he was eight and accidentally spilled the dinner she made.

“Easy Johnny, you’re alright,” Pony is here, the quiet, supportive pillar he’s always been that makes him Johnny’s best friend in the whole world. Though a part of him is embarrassed that anyone is here to witness this, a much larger part of him, the part that is tired, sick and in pain, is infinitely glad that Ponyboy is here. Pony won’t judge him, never has, never will. Pony will take care of him, the way he has for the past three days, and not make him feel like a baby. Everyone else, whenever they’re around, has hovered and coddled. Pony is just present, his worry quieter, his care soft with love but not pity.

Even Dallas had been weird about this, the whole Johnny being sick thing. He’d acted like a spooked horse when he first got sick and not reappeared after he first came by to check on him two days ago. Maybe if Johnny wasn’t feeling so lousy, he’d care more about that, try and puzzle out why. As it is, it’s all he can do to make sure he makes it to the toilet every time he needs to puke.

It’s a strange illness, one Johnny is quite sure he never wants to experience again. Crashing waves of nausea and pain for hours, followed by brief reprieves where he believes he’s started to turn a corner before the nausea returns full force. It’s a vicious cycle. Johnny hates it.

He’s so tired. 

“It’s just the stomach flu,” he murmurs to Pony, slumping bonelessly against his friend’s side. The younger boy presses a glass of water into his hand, and Johnny lifts it to his lips, his hand shaking like a leaf, “why does it hurt so much?’

“That’s just the thing ain’t it Johnnycakes? I’m startin’ to think it isn’t just the stomach flu.”

Pony’s getting real worried now, Johnny can tell because his voice always gets a bit younger when he’s anxious and he starts immediately looking around for Darry. But Darry isn’t here right now, is at work for at least the next hour. Soda and Steve are both working close at the DX, Two-bit is nursing his own sick kid sister, and Dally is still wherever Dally is. If the chips turn down- and they will, because Johnny knows he must have been born under a bad star for all the times luck is never in his favour- Pony is all he’s got. The thought isn’t as daunting as perhaps it should be. Here he is, sick and not entirely conscious, and all he knows is he trusts Ponyboy Curtis with his life. For all Ponyboy is two years younger, for all he’s the baby of the gang, Johnny doesn’t know anyone he depends on as much as him.

“Probably not,” he admits. This isn’t right, he knows it, has known it since yesterday even. The stomach flu shouldn’t feel like there’s a hot iron stuck in his abdomen, shouldn’t make him half paralyzed with pain and unable to think properly. “Whatever it is, I think it might be bad.”

“Darry’ll be home in a hour,” Pony says decisively, and if Johnny wasn’t so sick he doesn’t think he’d be able to hide his grin at the fact that for all Pony complains about his eldest brother, he’s always the first person he goes to in a crisis, “I’ll give him a call, see if he can hurry along, and we’ll get him to take you to a clinic.”

“Don’t got insurance,” Johnny points out. If he went to the doctor, it wouldn’t matter if this illness didn’t kill him because his old man sure would, “can’t afford no hospital bills.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Ponyboy waves his concern off, “Darry got Dal to get you a fake insurance card. It’s a real good forgery, looks as good as my real one. Far as the state’s concerned, you’re me when you’re sick.

“I ain’t passin’ those hospital bills to you guys!”

“Well we ain’t takin’ no for an answer. If you need a hospital, you’ll go.”

Johnny can tell he means it. He also knows Darry and Soda will back him. All the Curtis boys are as stubborn as they come, and selfless to boot.

He sighs, too tired to argue.

“Alright.”

“I’ll go give Darry a call,” Pony says, squeezing his shoulder gently before he leaves. 

Johnny counts the tiles on the bathroom floor as a fresh wave of agony rears it’s ugly head, causing sweat to bead on his brow and harsh breaths to force their way through his clenched teeth.

He’s only managed to count thirteen tiles by the time Ponyboy returns with a cool cloth and a relieved expression.

“Darry’ll be here in twenty minutes,” Pony tells him, pressing the cloth against his burning neck. He can’t help but sigh at the feeling. It does nothing to dull the pain but offer something else to focus on, but for Johnny that’s enough, “he was almost done anyway but his forman let him go early since it’s an emergency.”

He bites his lip, and Johnny can tell he’s trying very hard to decide whether he’s going to say whatever it is he’s thinking.

“Dar…darry says he thinks you might have appendicitis,” he says at last. Huh,Johnny thinks, that kind of makes sense. With his luck, it’s not surprising his own organs have decided to mutiny against him. “He says he was worried about it yesterday but now he’s pretty sure. You’ll definitely need the hospital.”

At this point, if a hospital can make the pain even lessen, it’ll be worth it.

“Thanks Pony,” he leans his head against his best friend’s shoulder, too tired and too sick to do anything else.

Pony rests his own head on Johnny’s, long hair tickling Johnny’s cheek, until Darry bursts in in all his superman glory and takes control of the situation the way he always does.

Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain, but with a friend like Ponyboy Curtis to help him through it he doesn’t really mind.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Beware Of The Dog.

I wrote this little blurb about Fuckboy!Werewolf!Eddie based on this text post by @neonghostlights because the thought would not leave my brain until I wrote something about it.

Word Count:770

Masterlist Eddie Munson Masterlist

When he thinks back to how he used to be, he can't help the slight chuckle that rumbled through him.

Every night, prowling the dark streets of Hawkins, seemingly a new girl every night, as he smooth-talked them into his bed only to watch them leave as the morning came.

Stephanie Monroe, Katie Haywood, Nicole Prescott, Lizzie Davenport, even Tiffany Simmons to name but a few. He remembers all the girls names, cringing at the memory that he'd promise to call them as he ushered them out of his trailer door, knowing full well that he would never follow through on that promise.

Everyone on his pack had already found their other half, the one person who they would be with for the rest of his life, and here he was cycling through nearly half the girls in Hawkins with nothing seeming to stick.

That was until he laid eyes on you.

All those other girls paled into insignificance to you. In his eyes you were perfect. You were the one girl that he wanted. He was convinced that you were the one for him. His other half. His missing piece. His perfect and pretty little mate.

He saw you through the window in that small and quaint cafe, sipping on your hot coffee as you flick through the pages of a book.

This would be easy. All he’d have to do was turn on that ol’ Munson charm, and you’d be falling at his feet. 

Pushing his way through the door, the bell above him tinkling as he does, he walks up to the counter. He’d have to order something, it’d be weird to just walk in and start talking to someone without ordering anything.  

“One black coffee, two sugars please” he smiles politely.

He waits for his order, and sure enough he hears his name called out.

“Order for Munson!”

As he collects his order he sees you whip your head around at the mention of his name. Your eyes meet his across the cafe.

This was it. The perfect opportunity to put the moves on you. Time to seize the moment.

“Hey! Y/n, right?” Eddie starts as he makes his way over to where you’re sat.

“Yup, that’s me.” you nod with a kind smile.

“Hey, I’m Edd-” He’s just about to start introducing himself but you stop him in his tracks before he can say anymore.

“I know just who you are, Eddie Munson.” you say, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Y-you do?” He stutters. 

“Mhm..does the name Nicole Prescott sound familiar to you?” you ask him.

Silence fills the air uncomfortably. You take his wild-eyed stare and tight-lipped smile as your cue to keep going.

“See, Nicole is a very close friend of mine, and I remember her telling me all about this wild and crazy night she had with this guy who promised to call her the next day, but then nothing ever came of it.”

Uh-oh. Eddie starts to feel his heart beat quicker. He’s not used to things not going his way.

“That guy sounds like he sucks.” He replies, trying to keep his cool, but the flush rising on his cheeks isn’t helping his case.

“He does, doesn’t he? Nicole told me he was the most handsome man she’d ever met. Long curly brown hair, deep brown eyes that you could get lost in, and a few tattoos as well. Said he had a couple of bat tattoos trailing up his forearm.” you say nodding to where Eddie’s bat tattoos were on display proudly.

Fuck. Why did he have to wear a short-sleeve t-shirt?

“I know your games, Munson. You ditched my friend and now you're moving on to me." you smirk.

Eddie’s mouth opens and closes, unsure of what to even say at this point. You had him marked from the moment you laid eyes on him, and you were not going to bend to his will as easily as he had hoped.

“I’m not so easily impressed by your less-than-gentlemanly tactics, so if you want to impress me, drop the playboy attitude, okay?” you tell him with a quirk of a wry smile playing at your lips.

You finish up your coffee and close your book, and make your way out of the cafe, blowing him a kiss as you leave. Leaving Eddie more than a little embarrassed and ashamed of his actions.

He was going to do whatever it took to prove you wrong. To show you that he could, and would change. For you. Anything to make you see that he could change his ways.

@sunflowerdaydreamer @xxhellfiregirlxx

[sassykattery]

Lucifer's Ordeal

Welcome back to Sassy's Kinktober.

This is totally a comfort piece for me, and I wanted to write about Lucifer handling your period for the first time since you started dating.

This is SFW mostly, with some suggestion in Asmo's part. BUT I decided to add a smut scene toward the end with a clear cut for it.

SFW Synopsis: Though you had been in the Devildom for a while, one of the seven demon brothers wasn't as well acquainted with your period as the others, and he finds out just how little he knew about you, to his dismay.

Pairing: LuciferxMC

Characters: All seven brothers (mainly Lucifer), Diavolo for one second, they/them pronouns mc, afab! mc

themes: periods/menstruation, comfort piece, sex

NSFW Synopsis: Period sex, need I say more? Afab bodied reader, mentions of blood.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

It was early, the usual wakeup time for Lucifer. No, he didn't use an alarm, he just naturally woke up that early, regardless of how late he stayed up the night before, working. He could feel your warmth as you lay beside him, likely still asleep.

However, before he even fully opened his eyes, something caught his attention. The metallic scent that hung in the air was unmistakable, coppery, and he quickly looked over at you. You were curled up tightly around yourself. He looked at you with curiosity, worry, and concern, but you showed no signs of distress or harm. Gently, he lifted the covers and saw a red stain on the sheets as well as your pajamas. Panic overtook him, but he refused to cause a scene.

Lucifer had remembered learning about human anatomy at one point, but it was one of those things he didn't pay much attention to at the time, so he proceeded to get up, get dressed, and see a knowledgeable demon about such things.

After knocking, Satan, barely awake, opened up the door to see his eldest brother standing there, slightly bristled.

"And for what do I owe the displeasure of a visit this early?" Satan grumbled.

"If I asked you for a book on human anatomy and requested that you don't ask any questions about it, or tell anyone else about it, could you do that?" Lucifer asked quietly.

Satan narrowed his eyes, considering the request. Though he could make several guesses about the issue that caused such a stir in his brother, he chose to honor the request. With a sigh, he beckoned Lucifer to come into his room.

After several minutes of searching, Satan retrieved such a book and handed it to Lucifer. "Keep it as long as you need, though I'd like it back eventually," Satan said.

Lucifer accepted it with a quiet "Thank you, the next book you'd like to purchase is on me," and strode off to his study. Satan still wasn't quite sure if he was dreaming that day or not.

At his desk, Lucifer flipped through the pages. Once he found what he was looking for, he read through the hormone cycle and remembered what it was that you were going through. Closing the book, he sighed and rubbed his temples. Though the book described it on a functional level, he was unsure of how to care for you, what you needed, so then he began his next trek in his quest to take care of you.

"Oi, I don't know how I'm in trouble this early, but I haven't done a thing-" Mammon griped outside of his bedroom door.

"Shut up, you're not in trouble," Lucifer snapped, "It's about MC."

"Oh... come in," Mammon said, opening his door for the eldest to enter.

"You know MC best," Lucifer said, but then Mammon saw what looked to be hesitation on his face. "What do they normally need when they're..." and then he trailed off, unsure of how to word it. "Menstruating?"

"You mean their period?" Mammon asked casually. Lucifer's cheeks were tinged with pink and nodded. "Yeah, they don't handle 'em well. Ordinarily, they're sad and depressed, in a lot of pain. Usually makin' sure they have hot packs if they need 'em is good. They'll need painkillers, they're in the bathroom."

"And how do you know all this?" Lucifer asked incredulously.

"You knew I would know somethin' about it, otherwise you wouldn't have come to see me, would ya? Besides, I'm their first, and I've known about 'em since they got here. I'm surprised you don't know anything about it, bein' their boyfriend and all," Mammon quipped. He had good points, so Lucifer let it be.

"Thank you for the help, Mammon. I'll send you money for the trouble," Lucifer said, leaving the second eldest in bewilderment.

Knowing you were saddened by your state, Lucifer visited the next brother who may know a thing or two about cheering you up.

"You want MC's favorite anime?" Levi asked, shocked and confused.

"Or anything else that makes them happy that you know of," Lucifer stated.

"Why?"

"They're not feeling well, and I would like to cheer them up," Lucifer replied, getting impatient.

"Oh, are they on their period?" Levi asked, equally as casual as Mammon did, already walking to his anime collection, pawing through some of them. Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose.

"How did you know?" Lucifer asked.

"I have a calendar and keep track of it, so I know when to not piss them off, or if they're randomly sad I don't have to ask why. Did you not know?" Levi was being rather calm considering what it was, but you had been around long enough that he came to terms with its normalcy and sought to only make you comfortable.

"I'm afraid I did not," Lucifer replied, somewhat ashamed that his younger two brothers knew so much. What did everyone else know?

"Here," Levi said, handing Lucifer multiple anime volumes and some manga, "They like all of these, there's enough to keep them content for a week."

"I see, thank you, Levi, I'll buy your next figurine for the trouble." Levi stood there in shock as the eldest left, and he wondered what had become of Lucifer.

Curious, Lucifer wanted to know what the rest of his brothers knew about you and your needs, as he wanted to properly care for you as it seemed this wasn't the most pleasant thing you had to deal with. He dropped the things Levi gave him off in his office, and then found the twins.

"I would like to know what MC needs when they're on their period," Lucifer said.

"Oh, that's easy, they need lots of sleep and rest. They also like to cuddle more, make it cozy for them," Belphie said. "MC usually takes more naps because they have no energy, and it's to avoid the pain." Lucifer's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He never realized it, that you would randomly start sleeping more or retire early, and it was disheartening that you did that in order to avoid the pain.

"How... painful is it?" Lucifer asked.

"Pretty bad, sometimes painkillers don't help," Belphie replied.

"And you need to make sure MC eats. They get nauseous and don't really want to eat, but they need to in order to have energy and feel better. Also, MC only wants certain things, so you should go to the market and get their favorite snacks," Beel said. "If you're going, I have a list of what they like and will give it to you, if you'll get me something too," he stated with a cute smile.

"Very well, I will take it," Lucifer said with a sigh. "Belphie, add whatever you'd like as well."

Unsure of what the fifth eldest would know, Lucifer finally stopped by Asmo's room.

"Ehh? You've gone around and asked everyone what MC likes and needs, and you waited to see me last?" Asmo asked indignantly.

"Well? What do you know?" Lucifer asked, running thin on time and patience. He was worried you'd wake up soon and he wouldn't be there.

With an eyeroll, Asmo walked over to his bathroom, rummaging through a drawer. "Here," he said, handing Lucifer two boxes, pads and tampons. "They need these, they'll pick whichever they want, put them in your bathroom. A hot shower or bath will help. Get MC into clean clothes and don't freak them out about the sheets, and then give them all of the things everyone else gave you. If you really want to be sweet, give them the day off from RAD."

"How..." Lucifer started to say, a little baffled by the information.

"Dearest brother, you should have come to me first. I know every little thing about MC, and I know the most about their situation out of everyone, given I'm around humans the most," Asmo said with a smug smile.

"Hmph, you may be right," Lucifer groaned, realizing he could have skipped a lot of the hassle, but that wasn't important right now.

Asmo's eyes lit up, "Oh! There's something else you might find... helpful, as it were, for the pain MC has," he said.

"Let's hear it," Lucifer said, confused at why Asmo was looking at him like that, but he did want to know how to help you.

"Apparently, pleasuring humans can help with it," Asmo said, wriggling. "At least, that's what another human told me. You might try it on MC if they're interested."

Lucifer's face and ears were beet red now, and he quickly left Asmo to giggle by himself.

After quickly going to the market with Beel's list and everyone else's recommendations, Lucifer arrived just in time for you to start waking up before RAD. Quickly, he gathered everything up into a box, including a fresh set of clothes for you, and went into his room, where you still seemed to be asleep, now curled up on his side of the bed. He set the box down out of sight, put your necessities and clothes in his bathroom, and slid in next to you.

Your eyes opened slowly, and you winced.

"Good morning, darling," he whispered to you. "How about we get you into the shower, hm? You don't have any classes today; you'll be staying home with me."

You didn't really question it since you didn't feel great, so you nodded. After sending you off to his bathroom, he changed out the sheets for clean ones and retrieved the box of goodies he procured. Arranging everything for your pleasure, he was rather pleased with himself.

He went ahead and texted Lord Diavolo that neither of you would be at RAD today, with the excuse that you didn't feel well, to which he responded with "Enjoy the day off you two," and a heart emoji, further embarrassing Lucifer.

Once you were done with your shower and dressed, Lucifer retrieved you and brought you back to his room.

"Lucifer! What is all this?" you asked, looking at the snacks, drinks, movies, and manga on the table, extra pillows and blankets on the bed, your favorite record playing softly in the background.

"Hm? This? I just wanted to treat you, that's all," Lucifer replied smugly, enjoying the happy look on your face.

"No, you've never done this. What's going on?" you pressed the issue.

With a sigh, Lucifer led you over to his bed and both of you sat down on the edge. "I understand you're not feeling well, and I just wanted to take care of you," he stated.

"Hmm, alright, fine," you said in defeat. You already noticed on the side tables the hot packs and painkillers, so you knew that he had figured out it was your time of the month. But you also didn't want to damage his pride, since he clearly went through a lot of trouble to get all of this for you. "So, what do you have planned then?"

Lucifer gave you a soft smile, "I thought we could just lay in bed today, watch some movies, eat snacks. I'll make you lunch later if you'd like," he replied. Seeing the big smile on your face made the entire ordeal from that morning worth it.

Just as Lucifer promised, you two cuddled up with each other, watching your favorite anime. At one point you fell back to sleep, to which Lucifer enjoyed watching you, looking rather comfortable in his side. He didn't mind, it was actually a rather perfect day, just you and him, none of his brothers ruining it, not even the royals interrupted.

Lunch time came around, conveniently as you woke up, and Lucifer made you lunch, which, even though he was warned, he was surprised you turned it down.

"I'm just not that hungry, I'm sorry," you apologized, looking at him with such a sad look.

"I know you probably don't feel like it, but I think it would be wise if you at least had some," he murmured, kissing your temple. With a sigh, you nodded, and ended up eating almost all of your portion. Lucifer smugly accepted your thanks as you both returned to watching movies in his room.

All too soon, late afternoon rolled around, and though you were focused on the anime you two were watching, Lucifer could hear his brothers arriving home from RAD, and he waited for the inventible interruptions that would soon follow. He pulled you closer to him, savoring your presence just a little longer. But surprisingly, they never showed up.

Dinner time rolled around, and you fell asleep again, so Lucifer quietly left and went downstairs.

His brothers were all sitting at the dinner table eating, and when he walked by, Mammon called out, "Oi! Lucifer, we have a question." With a sigh, Lucifer walked back into the dining room.

"Yes?"

"We just want to know how MC is," Levi stated.

"They're asleep right now, they started feeling uncomfortable a little bit ago. But otherwise, they're fine," Lucifer replied. "I came by to pick up our dinner plates and bring them up to my room."

"You know what, I want to spend the day with MC tomorrow," Beel stated. This started a slew of arguments between the youngest six brothers, and Lucifer decidedly grabbed the plates and left without participating.

Once he returned, Lucifer made sure to lock the door in case any of them started getting the bright idea to bother you. You were still asleep, so Lucifer set your plates on the table and crawled back in bed with you. To which, when he did, you rolled over and clung yourself to his side.

"Mm, warm," you mumbled. Lucifer couldn't fight the smile on his face from seeing you be so adorable. After a few minutes of watching you, he stroked your cheek with his finger.

"Darling?" he whispered.

"Hm?" you grumbled.

"Would you be interested in dinner?"

"Maybe just a little," you replied sleepily.

Once upright, Lucifer took your hand and led you to the couch where he had dinner on the table. You only had a few bites, but that was enough to make your boyfriend happy, and you promptly went back to bed while he finished.

After he took care of your plates and cleaned up, Lucifer returned to change into his sleeping robe and join you in his bed once more.

"Thank you for today. I enjoyed spending all day with you, doing nothing," you murmured as you cuddled up into his side again.

"Anything for you darling," he whispered as he kissed your forehead.

------NSFW CUT-------

Lucifer hadn't quite fallen asleep yet, when he noticed you kept rolling around in the bed, unable to find a comfortable spot.

"My dear, are you alright?" he muttered.

You stopped moving, worried that you were keeping him from sleeping. "I-I'm sorry..." you whimpered.

He rolled onto his side to find your back to him. Propping himself on one elbow, he placed his hand on your shoulder. "Are you in pain?"

"...Yes," you replied quietly.

Lucifer's gaze darted away for a moment, remembering what Asmo had said. There's no harm in asking, I suppose, he thought to himself.

"Darling," he called to you. You rolled onto your back and looked at Lucifer. "From what I understand, there may be something I can do for you to help you, if you'd like," he stated.

"Like what?" you asked quizzically.

"Well, allegedly, a release could help, at least ease the pain," he tried to word it as elegantly as possible.

Your eyebrows shot up, "Oh, well... I wouldn't ask you to do that."

"What if I wanted to? If I can ease your pain, I would like to give it a try," he replied sweetly, taking one of your hands and kissing your knuckles.

A flush graced your cheeks. "Because it's... erm, messy?" you replied.

Then, he was smirking at you, "You think a demon is afraid of blood?"

Your jaw dropped in response. You were flustered then, so you looked away, unsure of what to say.

"If you're afraid of scaring me off, I'm afraid that's not possible. But if you simply don't want to, I will respect your wishes," he softly said to you.

Though there was barely any light in the room, you looked over at him. You could hear the honesty in his voice, and you knew he just wanted to help, so you couldn't help but agree.

"I wouldn't mind trying," you quietly replied.

Slowly, he kissed his way up from your hand to your neck, jaw, and finally your lips. Your hands wandered into his robe, causing it to open and fall around his shoulders. Carefully, his hands went under your shirt, shucking it off of you when you held your arms up. With tender hands, he massaged your chest, softly and slowly. He planted kisses down your neck and onto your chest, with the lightest pecks on your nipples. Your little gasps filled the room.

You helped shrug off his robe, and he tossed it aside. Feeling the need rise within you, you tugged at the waistband of his underwear.

"I need you," you whimpered against his lips. Not one to tell you no, he quickly discarded his underwear, as well as yours. Your arousal filled his senses, mixed with that coppery scent, and it was rather intoxicating, truthfully.

Carefully, he climbed on top of you and placed himself between your legs, pulling your thighs up around his hips as he sank lower.

"Are you ready?" he murmured against your lips.

"Y-Yes," you replied quietly.

Holding himself up above you on his forearms, he rolled his hips down to line himself up with your entrance, and then gently pressed forward. The head of his cock rubbed into your clit, eliciting a moan from you. The mixture of your fluids already made you absolutely slick, much to the pleasure of both of you. Taking your lips into his for a sweet kiss, and angling his hips, he carefully pushed into you, his cock sliding right into your searing hot entrance. It was an easy glide inside, your sensitive walls hugging him so well.

It was hard to hold back the whimper you let out, as the pain and pleasure were mixing together beautifully.

"Is this okay?" Lucifer whispered, intensely looking at you.

"Just go slow," you whispered in reply.

As told, he thrusted into you slowly and gently, savoring the feel of you around him. You wrapped your arms around over his shoulders, pulling him in closer. He lowered himself fully onto you and buried his face in your neck, softly kissing and nibbling on your flesh. Finally, the pain subsided, and all you were left with was the pure, sweet pleasure of feeling his cock slowly rocking in and out of your pussy.

"Oohh, Lucifer," you moaned out, a smile gracing your lips as you threw your head back, exposing more of your neck.

He pulled away, and his chest tightened at the sight of you beneath him. How proud he felt to make you feel so good, that you would be smiling and moaning joyfully because of him.

"Do you like this, my love?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"It feels so good," you murmured.

"Mm," he hummed in reply, "You feel so good on my cock, darling." He happened to look at where you two were joined, seeing the streaks of red on his shaft was rather erotic.

Your eyes fluttered open to side-eye him, listening to his praise. A little smirk graced his lips, knowing you loved hearing him talk to you.

He leaned down to kiss your nipples again, taking care to pay attention to both. His warm tongue swirled over each one, causing you to moan more, squeezing your thighs around his hips. When he sucked on one, your back arched into him, much to his delight. His arms slid underneath your back to bring you closer, ravaging your chest, covering every inch of you in his love.

"Mm, hah... Luci..." you moaned. He kept his pace, making sure to rub against all your sweet spots inside your doughy cunt. This was all about you, what you needed, and he was more than happy to deliver you to perfect euphoria. Your hands found purchase on his shoulders as you held on tightly.

"That's it, enjoy it. My darling deserves nothing less than to feel so good," he purred to you. He kissed you again, his tongue seeking out yours to dance with, making sure you knew how much he loved pleasing you. How much he loved you.

One of his hands came down to rub into your clit, driving you higher and winding up your coils that much tighter. Your moans became sobs as the pleasure intensified. The most delicious and wet sounds coming from where you two were joined, along with the slaps of your hips meeting over and over again.

"Luci," you whimpered, squirming slightly as your release started to mount, becoming harder and harder to hang on to those last threads of reality.

"I know, I know, it's okay. Cum for me, my love, let go and enjoy it," he murmured against your lips. His other hand found yours and brought it up next to your head to intertwine his fingers with yours. "Where do you want me?"

"Anywhere, just don't stop," you cried out. "Please just don't fucking stop!"

Your whole body then shuddered and tightened up as your orgasm crashed into you. The electrifying pleasure shot up your limbs and back, your gorgeous moans and cries filling the room. And he still stayed steady for you, fucking you through your release, making sure you felt every last second of unimaginable pleasure.

It was only when you were coming down from your blissful high that he let himself succumb to how your fluttering walls felt on his cock. Only when you were delivered to satisfaction did he give a few sharp thrusts and curled around you as he stilled, releasing his cum to paint your walls, mixing together with your fluids.

Panting, you felt limp, feeling exhausted and satisfied.

"How do you feel now?" he asked quietly in your ear, still not having moved yet.

"S'good," you mumbled, still not out of your post-orgasm haze. He chuckled and finally removed himself from you, quickly leaving and returning to clean both of yourselves up.

Once he was finished, he slid back into bed and pulled your back flush against his chest. His arm laid over the top of yours and laced his fingers with yours.

"Sleep well, angel," he whispered, pride and satisfaction coursing through him after a successful day of making you feel better.

----

Thank you for reading <3

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

[djservo]

HELLO 😁🤭😋 in my being young hot and sexy moment i almost forgot and checking the calendar was a jumpscare! but i’m here, once again asking for your book wrap up. how was your september reading? (spoiler: mine was awful) horror on the horizon for october? awaiting the deets

always with the end-of-month jumpscares!! I feel like I've only just processed the ending of august, probably bc it was packed to the brim but STILL! crazy!! very solid reads this month, I'll give her (september) that

Cool For You by Eileen Myles

got deja vu while reading and bc it reminded me of Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh bc they both work in medical institutions and have this similar demeanor towards work so i was like? is Eileen based on Eileen Myles?? but I enjoyed this one far more, really dug her style of writing and generally autofiction as a genre lately. it's like the best of both worlds of more intimate-feeling fiction and memoir without this fragile energy an author sometimes carries when trying to frame their life as accurately as possible. I like how experimental it can get with the form of a novel in a way I thought Myles did seamlessly like all the jumping around different stages of her life really worked for me because there was a nice rhythm to it all. plus her writing voice is just so effortlessly charming + funny + playful, she could make anything sound interesting I'm sure. one of my favorite lines:

“I was a funny and stupid girl—Jesus sliding on a banana peel in the temple."

little silly tidbits like that, I can't not smile!

I Wished by Dennis Cooper

it's crazy to me that I've only started Cooper this year because his writing is so ridiculously special to me now. I was gonna hold off on this one til I've read more of his early poetry, but I think it was actually fitting to follow up my journey with the George Miles cycle with this as it was kinda like a self-reflection on the cycle. now having read several books by him, I realize the necessity of the digesting period each one needs because of how much more I get out of them the longer I ruminate, far removed from a freshly-read state to fully comprehend the piece as a whole if that makes sense. I don't even wanna read my previous blurbs about the cycle books because, though I remember loving them instantly, I'm sure my interpretations were barely scratching the surface of what/how I feel about them now,.... I feel like i've just talked myself into a circle/I've totally lost my grip LMAO but this was very sweet and sad and funny and sad again and it's just a miracle to me how striking his writing is even with how succinct it can be. absolutely beautiful!!

Quarry by Jane White

damn these boys are fucked up !!! I won't get too deep bc a lot of my thoughts come from the climax/ending of this book and I don't wanna spoil in case you ever read, but there's a funny formality running through it all that becomes funnier with every unfolding + atrocious act. surprisingly a lot of gay + incestuous subtext going on that my friend and I kept texting each other during reading like "did I really just read that ..." there were so many layers and dynamics to pick apart, far more than either of us were expecting I think. twas a fun and twisted time and makes me excited to continue on with this theme!!

I think I mentioned before that Quarry was the start of a planned trio, so Lord of the Flies is next which I guess is sorta fitting for October. I was just remembering how I read Jekyll & Hyde last October and am debating if I wanna do another classic (eyeing Frankenstein) or maybe American Psycho finally to dip my toes into Bret Easton Ellis... unsure if I wanna be simply entertained or wholly unsettled, will maybe try and find a perfect in-between balance ⚖️

[farolero-posting]

Different

Words: 2,313

Summary: Prototype and Rue talk during the night, and watch the city from a window.

As time between rest cycles increases, the chances of running into issues in data organization go up as well. It was fortunate that robots do not need to do it as often as organic beings do, and that this body was still fresh and working as intended, but it wasn’t advisable to extend it beyond a certain time frame.

And Prototype was not looking for that moment to come, despite his programming’s insistence. 

Going through the data was mostly an unremarkable chore. It involved going through the episodic data in chronological order, searching for important information to convert into permanent data, and freeing space for the next cycle. There were books comparing this process to sleep, stating that living beings behave similarly, but were unaware of it, meaning this was most likely a theory rather than empirical information.

They also dreamed, and he didn’t.

“I thought you would have noticed me sooner.” Rue stepped into the room, leaping to take one of the seats, while Proto’s gaze was still glued to the bookshelf. “Are you busy?”

“No. Just taking a look at this room.” He turned to face the fox, who waved her tail in a slow motion, eyes staring back at the robot. “What about you?”

Rue’s ear twitched once, and she frowned. “I’m not doing much. I woke up a few moments ago and then heard you in here.” She tilted her head, a smile forming on her. “Did I ever tell you you’re louder when you think?”

He quickly found matching information. “You did, at one point around a month after I was tamed. What prompted it this time?”

“I know you’re not sleeping.” Rue narrowed her eyes.

“I don’t sleep—”

“You still rest. You can call it sleep, you know?” Rue changed her position, tensing herself up. “I don’t think you’ve done it once since we moved here.”

His hands tensed.

“Correct,” Prototype admitted.

Rue sighed, and kept pressing: “You don’t even turn the lights on while you’re here. I’ve been watching you.”

“I think my own light is enough for that, so I don’t do it, I can change that if you wish” he replied, moving to flip the switch on one of the lamps, casting a dim light.  

They were in a study room inside of the apartment the siblings shared in the Refuge. The place had a bookshelf full of books on different topics, and a simple desk with paper, a cup with watercolor brushes, and a box of supplies. A blueprint of a flying machine was pasted on the wall, with sticky notes all over it. A dusty backup powercell sat by the corner; it wasn’t on, however, as the Refuge generators already provided the necessary energy to function.

“That is much better, thank you” Rue smiled, waving her tail happily for a moment.

She didn’t say anything for the moment, and Proto was unsure what to expect of her. Despite how well he knew her and her habits, her thoughts were a mystery most of the time. Rue sighed then, her ears moving down. Perhaps this was sadness, or something else.   

“I want to talk, but… I think I want to go outside. This room feels a little small.”

“Lead the way.”

Rue leaped to the floor, trailing between the furniture, towards the living room. Prototype closed the door behind her, and then walked towards the apartment’s exit. They caught a glimpse of Cedric sleeping in his room, with a tight grip on his covers. They were careful not to wake him as they closed the door. Rue didn’t take the route towards the catwalks, and instead found a place to sit on by the stairs, where the windows were the biggest, giving them the best view of the buildings around them. It was still dark, but the red phosphor river and the street lamps illuminated the landscape. The tower couldn’t be seen from this angle, and for a moment, the picture in front of them almost matched the one Proto remembered from the real world.

Well… at least, according to the data he was provided with. Perhaps he considered the image important enough to preserve it as clear as possible, back in the day. 

He looked at Rue, who seemed to be looking at it as if it was her first time doing so. Or not, it was equally as likely she had a different reason. This train of thought prompted a question.

“Do you recognize this view?” He reopened the conversation. “You are very focused on it.”

“I… think I do. I know some of the signs from the old world are still there. I can even see some of the obsolete signs from old businesses.”

Proto looked to the right, making a mental map of where the tower would be, out of their view. A yellow ring stared back at him from the crystal.

“The buildings are also arranged in the same way, probably even in the same locations. I think he wanted to make this as similar as we know it,” he commented. “I have… a clear image of it. It’s a perfect match.”

Rue nodded, but remained silent for over forty seconds. Her tail was stiff by her side. Proto assumed she was likely to be pensive.

“I… don’t think I can recall most of that,” was her final response. “It’s… hard sometimes. To think about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Rue turned to face the robot, which he didn’t notice, still looking out the window.. “Do you know why I answered the robot question?”

“I assume it is because under the current circumstances, we exist as code running within the World Machine.”

“That is true. But… sometimes I don’t like thinking about this and realizing that I don’t see myself as… I was intended to be? I’m sorry, this might sound offensive, now that I think about it.”

“I don’t see the offensive component,” Proto reassured her. “That is a common conflict,” he added, sitting down to be closer to Rue’s height. “The notion of personhood and the deterministic nature of programming are not immediately compatible. I assume this is what you’re thinking about?”

“I… don’t think that is the case.” Rue lowered her head.

“What is the case, then?”

“You know that the real world our memories are based on, and the world we see here are not the same. I don’t know how much you were able to explore in it, but for me it’s always felt off because I know that it is just memories, and not the real thing.”

“Well… it’s as accurate as it could be.”

“I wish I could tell the difference.” Rue huffed, letting her frustration show. “All I have is anything my real world counterpart could give me, and what you and others said about what I was like. It’s all words, and not a single image.” Rue looked away. “What is it like to be able to record everything and trust that it is true?”

"Hmm..." The robot considered his next words, trying to measure what sort of response his sister was looking for. "It depends. If it's something that brings you happiness, you will want to revisit it and it will feel nice. Otherwise... There is a lot of junk data, and other things that can be unpleasant but important to remember."

"Ah, that makes sense." Rue moved closer to him, eyes still on the window. "I... should apologize. This is a depressing conversation, isn't it? I know it doesn't change anything. The old world is gone. The real Rue..."

"It changes something in you." Proto insisted, moving a hand to point in her direction. "You can feel sad about this conflict, or differently. But that is something that is happening to you, and makes you real. I believe this is something you would agree with."

Rue nodded, closing her eyes in thought, before making another question.

"Do you mourn the old Rue? Or the old Cedric? We're different. We even have to change how we act around others, because we know things about their world that change our situation, and because our iterations are living different lives that the real ones didn’t get to live. We’re here but… the real Rue is not."

"I think you are the Rue and Cedric I am meant to be with," Prototype answered, Rue's ears perked up. "By this I mean... if we try to be more meticulous with what we consider constitutes the same "being", then every single one of us is different to whoever we were in the real world. Some information is always lost, and... our consciousness starts with the simulation being executed, even if we know we have other things in our code, so to speak."

"That is a sad way of looking at it. I'll admit..." Rue shivered for a moment, barely perceptible to her brother. "I guess you do understand my plight. You have thought about this before, haven't you?"

Prototype did not reply, and chose to close his eye instead, in a gesture resembling agreement.

"I am avoiding resting cycles," he confessed, after catching the glimpse of some of the apartment lights switching on, likely to be the first people to wake up for that day. “I have not done it since before leaving the mines.”

"Ha, I knew it." Rue's tail wiggled, as if she had solved a riddle without putting in the effort to make him admit it. "Want to talk about it?"

Would it be helpful to do it? Would it serve a purpose at all? There was no way to know for certain. 

But it seemed highly probable that she was the best candidate for that conversation.

"...Sure." Proto looked down, his antennas moving to point slightly to the back. "When I run those cycles, one of the things I have to do is go through every new information I have stored, and sort through it, compressing it, deleting junk data, summarizing it, and free space. This is not a concern most of the time."

"Oh." Rue's tail stopped moving in mid air, as a realization hit her. "You're scared of going through them."

"I can't say. Maybe." He shrugged. "I know it is unavoidable, but I am not looking forward to it."

"You almost died."

"I'm not alive."

"You know what I mean, Proto." Rue shook her head. "Give yourself the right to give it that name."

"Rue, it's fine," he insisted. "I always knew it was a possibility."

"How do you feel about it?," she pressed on. 

Prototype didn't know what to answer. How did he feel about the experience of losing his body? Not good. The squares themselves on his code were not something he wanted to remember, either. What about the circumstances it took place in? Disappointed, for not predicting it more accurately, and preventing the damage caused. Regretful, then. The knowledge that it was a possibility was simply factual, like many other things are. If something is possible to occur, he cannot ignore it.

“Not well. I did not mean for it to happen. Or the problems it brought on everyone else…”  

“I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I suppose.” He looked away from her again. “I believe it is just worse when there are things that are under your control. When it is your responsibility to achieve something.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just as it was a possibility to cause the conditions to worsen, there was a possibility for it not to happen, and the determinant factors were in big part my own actions.” Proto was still, but the soft rumble in the room indicated he was still in thought. “The one thing I waited for so long was a chance to… fulfill a purpose, but in doing so, put others in danger. That should not happen.”

“It is not something to blame yourself for. There was still a lot out of your control, and you did your best under those conditions.”

“Well, what should I feel, then? It was at least easier to accept that I couldn’t do anything when the outcome was certain to happen. My passiveness or any action would not change the results, and I could detach myself from it… This, instead—”

“Do you mourn yourself?” Rue blurted out, stopping him.

“No.” He shook his head, and after a moment added:  “Yes? I have mixed signals”

“I grieve for myself too. I can… honor her memory, and I want to do that, but it saddens me that this isn’t the way she thought her life would be like. I’m only a second chance she got.”

“That makes sense,” Prototype nodded. “I see myself as a copy. Functional, but fully aware of the gaps between the original, and this.” He pointed to himself, noticing the way his new joints moved without any issue. “This is not something you can change, and ignorance is not helpful.”

“Maybe being different is not so bad. You’re still you to me. I don’t need to suspend my disbelief to think that. You are the sibling I am meant to be with.” 

“Ah, I see what you did there.” 

Rue moved closer, resting her body next to her brother, and looking down at the city. The light on her forehead reflected itself on the glass, faintly. She felt a hand on the back of her head, and she leaned into it. When the first rays of the Sun shone their light on their side of the world, Rue looked up to him. 

“You still need to sleep.”

“I’m still not calling it that,” he huffed, amused. “But I think I am more prepared to handle it.”

“I feel better too.” Rue stood up, and Proto followed after her. “This world is beautiful, different as it may be, and I’m glad to be here.”

“So am I.”

[tickletastic]

That Green Gentleman

Fandom: The Boys

Ship: N/A

Warnings: Mentions of needles/injections, mentions of canon-typical violence, canon-typical profanity

Summary: Butcher interrupts Hughie during a long night of work. (AN: found out during the research for this that the population of Wyoming is less than my hometown.... crazy)

“The Flatiron Building is historical” this, and “keep everything clean” that. What M. M. had failed to tell Hughie, when he had officially joined the team again, was that the Flatiron Building is also incredibly creepy at night, when you’re all alone and encapsulated by silence.

He’s working away at a stupidly tall pile of files about some leads pertaining to an up-and-coming supe that’s being eyed by The Seven, continuously eyeing the sickly green vial of Temp V that sits at the edge of his desk. He promised Annie that he’d stop, that he’d never even look at Temp V again, but finding that final, lonely vial had done something to him. He couldn’t help but keep it at an arm’s reach, he couldn’t help but imagine every scenario where he might need it, scenarios when regular Hughie wouldn’t be enough.

He tries to ignore it, but every few minutes one of the files ends up on that side of the desk, and he has to watch the vial teeter back and forth, unsure if he wants to reach out and move it to a safer place, or allow it the glass to shatter on the ground, the liquid spreading across the dirty tiles until there was none left for him to inject, forcing him to stay himself.

He manages to go an hour, sixty entire minutes, without looking towards the vial, following a paper trail about where the supe might be training, some hidden Vought-funded summer camp in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, Wyoming.

Hughie hadn’t even known that people actually lived in Wyoming.

He’s so focused on the files in front of him that he doesn’t hear the door to the office open, he doesn’t even realize that Butcher has entered the room until he’s struggling against someone else’s arms, effectively knocking his files over, setting off a chain reaction that causes the vial to tip over the edge, and it feels as though things move in slow motion as he watches it fall to the floor, shattering with a clink.

The arms around Hughie unravel, and he swivels in his chair to see that it’s Butcher, who is taking in the sight of the Temp V on the floor, the Temp V that had been so incredibly difficult for them to acquire. He watches as Butcher’s face cycles between a number of emotions, anger underlying each of them. He’s almost scared, for a moment, scared of how Butcher will respond to his mistake.

Butcher, though, tries to stay as calm as possible, he tries to focus on anything but the precious, invaluable Temp V that is now spread across the floor. Frenchie had torn him apart after he had punched Hughie, and M. M. seemed to chew him out every time he remembered that it had happened. Not to mention that Butcher had felt so guilty for so long about the possibility of him failing Hughie the way he had failed Lenny.

So, instead of focusing on the green chemical mixture, or the fear on Hughie’s face, Butcher focuses on the fact that it’s three in the morning and Hughie is still in the office, slumped over and looking exhausted. Instead of commenting on how the Temp V was necessary for their next venture, he focuses on Hughie’s inability to take care of himself.

“What are you doing here, kid?” He asks, trying to soften his expression, “it’s three in the fuckin’ mornin’, what’s Starlight gonna think that you’re up to?”

Hughie’s expression twitches, flashing through a number of emotions until it lands on something between confusion and sheepishness, and Butcher almost wants to look away, thinking about how much Hughie looks like Lenny with this expression, under these dim lights.

“Uh- I was taking a look at the files for tomorrow. I thought we could get a head start on finding Echo if I put in some overtime to figure out his weekly schedule,” Hughie stutters, looking up at Butcher with intrigue.

“Well, there’s no use in you getting us a head start if you’re going to be all tired and whiny come morning, is there?” Butcher asks, bringing a hand up and putting it on Hughie’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

Hughie flinches, very obviously, and poorly, suppressing a giggle. “Uh, I guess not. I just have a few more things to look over.” He poorly manages to hide that he’s trying to evade Butcher’s hand when it gives him another squeeze, moving his head down quickly to conceal the small smile on his lips.

“I don’t think so,” Butcher says, a smirk on his lips, “we have a cot in the back, you’re going to get some sleep, or you’re not rolling with me and the boys tomorrow.”

Hughie rolls his eyes, making a move to turn his chair back around, “Butcher, why don’t you let me finish this, and then I’ll go home.”

“Nuh-uh, kid, you’re going to sleep now or miss out on tomorrow, your choice.”

“I’m finishing this,” Hughie replies firmly, going back to his files, some of which are now turning green on the floor, drenched in the Temp V.

“Alright then, cunt, you give me no choice.”

“What? Butcher, le- fuhuhuck, dohohon’t dohoho that!” Hughie squeals, trapped in his chair by Butcher, who has moved forward to keep the chair from moving away from the desk.

“I can’t stop now, Hughie. I’m sure you understand, you left me no choice,” Butcher responds mischievously, his fingers scribbling over Hughie’s tummy, “now, why don’t you tell me how bad this tickles?”

Hughie shakes his head, desperately trying to turn around so he can, at the very least, see Butcher, and have the smallest amount of control in the situation. “Nohoho, Buhuhutcher stahahap!”

“‘Stop’ ain’t a number, Hughie, I need a number on a scale of one to ten.” Butcher starts to pinch around Hughie’s belly button, and Hughie doubles over, his laughter picking up.

“Fuhuhuhuck,” Hughie screeches, throwing his head back against the chair, just barely giving him enough range to see Butcher’s face, “fihihive! It’s ahahaha fihihive, plehehease Buhuhutcher!”

“Alright, alright, I’m moving, kid.”

Butcher’s hands go back up again to Hughie’s neck, and Hughie starts to snort softly, bringing his shoulders up in an attempt to block Butcher out. “c'mon kid, give us a number out of ten.”

Hughie’s eyes are closed as he tries, desperately, to block Butcher out. “Sehehe-Sehehevehen! Seven!”

“Good job, kid!” Butcher praises, and he notices the way Hughie turns pink to his ears, trying to duck his head for a reason other than Butcher’s fingers.

“Okay, now what about here?” Butcher's fingers skitter down to Hughie’s ribs, and Hughie shrieks, desperately struggling against the chair, stuck between throwing his head back or letting it drop with a soft thud onto the desk, and letting the tickles overtake him.

Hughie is laughing way too hard to muster up any response, let alone a number to rate how ticklish his ribs are. Though, in the back of his mind he’s pretty sure that Butcher already knows what the number would be. In his thrashing, he eventually settles on letting his forehead slump onto the desk, as he cackles and squeals away, his hands doing nothing to pry Butcher’s fingers away from him.

“Bu- Ihihihi- Plehehease! Buhuhutcher I cahahan’t!” Hughie shouts, tears of mirth falling onto the document that cushions his face.

“Alright, alright, Len, I’ll let up,” Butcher says, before he can catch himself. Butcher recoils before feigning nonchalance, letting Hughie scoot the chair away from the desk.

Hughie quickly turns around, his eyes now holding the same softness that Butcher had attempted earlier, despite tears still welling in the corners of his eyes from the onslaught. “Thahahat was twihisted. Eheheven fohor you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, kid. The boys and I need you in peak condition for tomorrow. Go hit the cot,” Butcher says with an eye roll, though he does a poor job of hiding his fondness.

“Alright, but wake me up when Frenchie and Kimiko get here?” Hughie asks, tilting his head.

“Will do.” Butcher replies, picking shards of glass up from the floor.

“I’m sorry about that, by the way,” Hughie responds, guilt seeping onto his face.

Butcher takes a moment, before finally looking up, meeting Hughie’s eyes, “no apology needed, kid, none at all.”

[the80srewinders]

Dissociation does not always have to look like "Oh wow, I forgot my name and family! I forgot most of my past! I don't know if the world is real! I am literally watching myself from the other corner of this room!" Same for switches. They don't always have to look like "I'm getting sleepy!" Then staring off until the alter fronts but it looks like you suddenly wake up and act like you're hungover, then say "I don't know where I am or how I got here! I dont know anyone here! I don't look like myself! *dramatically wears wig host wasn't wearing*" then thinking you woke up in a place you have no idea how you got there and dont remember how you wore the wig. Instead, dissociation, including switches, more commonly includes:

For depersonalization- feeling like youre watching your body as if you were right next to it, coming out of it, or stuck inside like your body is a car whether or not you're in control, a feeling of "I'm doing these things but why? " which is vast and can mean anything from passive influence making you do things you have little to no control over to "going through the motions"

For derealization- feeling like certain people or objects aren't real, feeling like the world in general or people or objects might not be real (not feeling like they aren't, but being unsure if they are or not) feeling like the world is a dream or your awareness feeling dreamlike

Identity confusion- having two vastly different opinions on the same thing (bonus if one of those opinions don't feel like they're really yours) having a specific set of "phases" that can be randomly brought out and suddenly thats who you are until another one of those phases is brought out (for example, having three phases you cycle through, the other two feeling distant, out of your comfort zone and unlike you until youre in one of them again, one phase being a emo, the other a basic vsco girl, and the other a masc goth, and while youre in the masc goth phase it might not feel like you, this is what i as host experienced years before i knew about DID) the phases making you unsure about your identity especially when youre torn between most or all of them at the same time, and when you dont know what you like because you remotely like so much and you dont know when something clicks with "the real you"

For Identity alteration- hearing the alters voices as random noise, intrusive thoughts or hearing them tell you what to do, feeling like you look like different people at different times, feeling like your memories or some of them belong to someone else

And last, for switching- because someone needs to say this. Its the most glamorized part of DID and misrepresented in that glorification. Here's what switches really are like- feeling tired and having a headache, then feeling like your awareness never stopped, but realizing you don't remember what happened in a period of time right before that, or remembering part of what happened but not clearly, this is called greyout amnesia and this is more common than blackout amnesia, your memories of a greyout will be fuzzy, probably feel dreamlike or like it happened to someone else. when there is blackout amnesia you probably wont notice for days, weeks, months to years and that's normal, most people with amnesia of childhood trauma even singlets dont notice or think the amnesia is typical childhood memory loss.

Dissociation does not have to be dramatic to be valid. And dissociation can be episodic in people with DID, it doesn't have to be an everyday thing of mixed dissociation to the max. You can go a day without depersonalization, derealization, and amnesic switches and still have DID. The stereotypes made by The Three Faces of Eve and systemscringe are not based in reality. Don't make yourself live up to that or invalidate yourself over a stereotype different from the diagnostic criteria.

[windowlessatmosphere]

Who Do You Love?, Ch.4

Read on AO3

Summary: Kim and Chay decide not to go public with their relationship since it's so new and they don't want anyone's reactions coming between them. Then Kim accidentally lets it slip on Instagram Live that he's no longer single, and the hunt begins to figure out who the mystery boyfriend is. Unfortunately, some of Chay's friends are hot on the trail, while he attempts to stay out of it entirely.

Kim was sitting utterly still, staring at the front door to his apartment. Chay had texted him 13 minutes ago that he was leaving the restaurant, which was approximately 12 minutes away. Kim started cycling through all of the least panic-inducing reasons Chay might not be home. Traffic. Maybe he forgot something inside. Porsche might have done a double goodbye, that happened all the time. Kidnapped. He took a deep breath, nudging his brain back to more mundane explanations.

The door handle jiggled, breaking him out of his reverie. He held his breath for a moment, letting it out slowly when Chay stepped through the door, appearing unharmed. He gave a tentative smile, not exactly sure how Chay was feeling towards him.

“Hi, angel,” he tested the waters. “How was dinner?”

“It was good!” Chay chirped, a smile lighting up his face. Good. That meant Kim hadn’t messed up  too  bad. “The rest of my day was good, too,” he continued. “Except for one thing…” he trailed off, tapping a finger against his chin.

“I’m sorry,” Kim crumbled immediately.

“Didn’t we just talk about this?” Chay complained, heading over to the couch and flopping down next to Kim.

“I know, I’m sorry, sweetheart. Are you mad?” he asked hesitantly.

“Did you do it on purpose?” Chay asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course not!”

“Then why would I be mad?” Chay’s tone was gentler now, scooting closer to Kim and pressing their knees together. Kim blinked.

“…because I did the opposite of what you asked me to?” he pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Chay was practically the sweetest person on the planet, but Kim didn’t understand how he ended up letting so many things slide. The fact that he’d even gotten back together with Kim after everything that had happened…well, Kim knew he had very little room for error after that.

“Would you be mad at me?” Chay questioned.

“Never,” Kim responded immediately.

“If the tables were turned, would you?”

“Of course not,” Kim explained. “At someone else, sure. But not at you.”

“Why?” Chay asked simply.

“Because I love you,” Kim stated plainly.

“I love you, too,” Chay told him. “So why would it be any different?” Kim tried to hold back a smile at that, clearly failing if Chay’s expression was anything to go by. Chay laughed, leaning forward and kissing him soundly.

“It’s really okay?” Kim probed, after a few moments of silence.

“Mhmm,” Chay murmured, snuggling into Kim’s side.

“Good, cause…you’ll have to do prep with Mae. Apparently.”

“I get to meet P’Mae?” Chay perked up at that, looking so much like an excited puppy that Kim had to turn his face away for a moment to get it together.

“Yes. Unfortunately.”

“P’Kim!” Chay complained, smacking him gently on the arm. Kim just grabbed his hand and pulled him in closer, relishing in the proximity. Chay grabbed the remote, putting on the drama they’d been watching together as of late.

When the episode finished, Kim made to stand up, assuming they were both getting ready for bed. Chay grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to the couch.

“You don’t want to go to bed?” Kim asked, surprised.

“In a minute,” Chay wriggled a little closer to him. “I’m probably gonna watch the Live tomorrow,” he informed Kim. “Any other surprises I should know about?”

“I didn’t say your name or anything,” Kim reassured him. “I just let it slip that I had a boyfriend when you texted me.”

“So you didn’t say anything else about me?” Chay tilted his face up at Kim, eyes wide.

Kim thought for a second, ready to reply in the negative before he remembered the other throwaway comment he’d made.

“Umm…” he hedged, unsure of how Chay would react. Chay didn’t say anything, just continued to look up at him with those beautiful eyes. Whatever. Chay was going to hear it tomorrow anyway. Probably better to rip the band-aid off now. “I might have said you were hot?” It came out as a question, without him meaning for it to. “Are you mad?” he asked, unable to stop himself.

“Nope,” Chay replied, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly.

“Why not?” Kim’s tone was slightly incredulous.

“I am hot,” Chay agreed in an amicable tone, causing Kim to choke slightly on air. Chay giggled at him, clearly enjoying his suffering.

“That’s for me to know, and everyone else to speculate on,” Kim countered, shaking his head.

“Except you already told them,” Chay didn’t miss a beat before replying.

“I’m sorry!”

“That’s nice for you.”

“Chay!”

[pasta-in-the-blender]

Don't do drugs kids

Hey everyone!

Me and Ghost (@guts-blood-n-screamzz) had this idea for a scenario with our ocs (Slyvester and Isa) and i finally finished writing it!

It's exactly 1200 words.

A major cw for; Someone going missing, v0m1t (a whole scene of it, ok), and the usage of drugs, specifically acid. Be careful please.

_________________

Devastating.

It’s only been a week since Isabella went missing out of the blue. But no one else except Sylvester seems to remember.

They’ve been given someone, they've finally opened up, they thought they were finally getting better, and just like that; everything was ripped away from Slyvester like she’s never even had anything.

But literally. No one knew who this Isabella lady was, anything at all; even though Sylvester knew the people they were asking about her had definitely met Isa.

It felt like she was going crazy. 

Like she never existed. Was this a long ongoing hallucination?

Has she finally lost it?

They don’t know. It’s hard to know anything while being in the void state after taking acid, laying on the floor of their oversized trash-bin of a room.

Everyone forgot about a whole person’s existence, but did they really exist?

Sylvester was so unsure. The memories felt so real, it must be real, right?

“She doesn't exist, you are crazy! But she felt so real, everyone else saw her, heard her, loved her! She was real!”

The cycle of uneasiness repeated itself in their head, and they just couldn’t stop it. It was pure agony from every side. They couldn’t open their eyes. Everything looked so sharp up front, so blurry from afar, she didn’t even have to focus her eyes to see the moving geometrical shapes on her blanket laying on the bed.

“What if aliens took her?” Sylvester asked herself jokingly as they got up from the floor in motivation of their back starting to hurt more than tolerably.

They lay on the bed in a starfish position, mindlessly staring up at the ceiling, in hopes of the thoughts quitting down.

Unfortunately for them, the worst trip of their life was not about to end any time soon.

“You are just a crazy slut!”

“Like a child you imagined yourself a friend and look what happened the moment you were completely sober!” 

“It’s all your fault!”

They shot up from the bed and ran to the kitchen, throwing the fridge door open and yanking a full unopened gallon of milk out, slamming the poor door back in its place. 

With that same pace and energy, they literally chugged half of the entire gallon in one breath. 

Sounds like someone really wants to escape self-guilt, doesn't it?

Not even five minutes later, while mindlessly zoning out at the kitchen cupboards, Sylvester gets an awful sharp pain in their stomach and they bolt it to the bathroom.

The next sight isn’t pretty by any means. Poor darling is in haste trying to tie her hair up while all the milk that was once inside of her leaves as fast as it entered her body.

They are by no means new to vomiting, yet somehow it felt like this was their first time having this kind of defense mechanism coming from their body.

Thankfully, it did not last long. 

There they were again. Kneeling next to the toilet, elbows resting on the seat, keeping her upper body up, her hair tied up in the last possible second, wondering how many times will she let this happen to them again.

As she was resting after this huge run and exhausting betrayal of their own body, a very obscure idea entered their drug-blinded brain. 

“What if someone really did take her?”

It really didn’t sound stupid at all! Miss Isa was the kindest and smartest person in this god-forsaken village. She helped anyone she knew, always got through the differences, never let anyone sleep on an argument, literally as if an angel was possessing an introverted psychologist.

And that is when Sylvester started thinking about the weird way Isa began acting a few months ago, and how it got more and more intense when it was getting close to the date she went missing on.

Isabella was less and less like herself, paranoid, grumpy; she could hardly be left alone at times! And not to mention that in the past month she went so far as to record herself literally all the time, saying she began having worrying memory issues. 

It all made sense. Someone was behind all of this. Somebody was stalking and threatening Isabella and they just had enough and took her that day.

With that absolutely insane theory and a new burst of hope and energy Sylvester got up, flushed the toilet, and washed her hands and face.

They fixed up the birdnet of the hair they made, and ran back to her room to get some acceptable clothes to pull on so they don’t look like the lunatic they are while on the way to Isabella’s house.

And with that she was off. 

The cozy, well-kept house had a nice welcome mat at the front door, which  Sylvester didn’t seem to give a damn about, lifting it up and tossing it to the side. There was a spare key under the mat.

Sylvester opened the door and the sight kind of shocked her. 

Every room in the house was spotless and clean. Like she was hiding something.

They waltzed in to investigate. Kitchen and bathroom were perfect and orderly, even inside the cupboards. The living room looked like it'd been freshly vacuumed, and there were not even specs of dust on the shelves. 

The bedroom, on the other hand, was in terrible condition. The bed was a mess of blankets and pillows, even though Sylvester knew Isa made her bed every morning from a 3 day sleepover.  The window was shut with the curtains covering it, even though Isabella was quite a fan of leaving windows open to let the fresh air in. 

There was a book open on the ground. It looked like some journal. 

“Jackpot!” She muttered to herself, picking it up and seeing detailed entries that got messier  and  messier with every day that was recorded. It stopped on the day she went missing.

“I’ll take a look at this later.”

They looked to their right and saw Isabella’s work desk. Her laptop was open and plugged in. 

Several sites were open in her browser. 

Most were on how to aid paranoia and insomnia, but there were sites open about being stalked and when to contact the police as well.  There was a site open about different entities, too, but Sylvester was not sure how to take that information in.

After a quick check if Isa had a password on the computer and finding out she in fact did not, Slyvester took the laptop off the charger and ran to get the corkboard and got to work. 

She blacked out.

The next morning they woke up next to a bunch of corpses of the snacks she ate to be able to keep moving, and a huge case pinned onto the corkboard with yarn. 

Exactly like in detective movies.

 Next to that board there was a neatly put stack of papers which appeared to be notes she took for the hangover Sylvester. Smart move from someone who was tripping balls the night they solved a missing person case.

“Time to revise.” She said with hope in her voice and tears in their eyes.

[abyss-boys]

WIP Introduction: In Memory of US

↳˗ˏˋ YA

↳˗ˏˋ LGBT, POC, disabled, mentally ill characters

↳˗ˏˋ Psychological Thriller

↳˗ˏˋ First draft

↳˗ˏˋ Third person, past tense

↳˗ˏˋ Missing persons, unreality, false memories, disappearances

↳˗ˏˋSummaryˊˎ˗ ↴

The ultimate social paralysis of off-the-map towns creates an atmosphere of familiarity and safety for the ages-old residents, those whose families witnessed the first dirt roads that carved through the once much denser forest. The streets, lamp-less and haunted in the night, have been memorized and seldom see confused tourists. These homes are riddled with old wood and cryptic small-town stories. The roads themselves are paved with the hard work of their native people. Places like this, they resist change. All here must adhere to the same pattern of life that has played out in these homes for generations before them.

But what happens when you defy the path laid out before you? Anboro doesn’t take kindly to change, and Carmen, Connor, and Russel soon find out what happens when you become strange to a town of stagnation.

(Rest of summary and characters below the cut)

Weeks after their high school graduation, they notice a missing neighbor, a kid around their age. They approach the family of this missing boy, but when our three protagonists sneak his name, a look of confusion spreads over the family’s faces. No such boy had ever existed.

Suspecting foul play, these three friends do their own research into the disappearance. But soon they find out that no one can remember the missing boy. The town swallowed him.

Not long after, another goes missing, a girl who worked alongside Russel in the town’s local grocery store. When he checks the girl’s schedule to see if today was her day off, he finds that her name is missing from the rosters. She, too, had been swallowed into obscurity. 

And after her, the cycle continued. Every week or so, someone else would disappear, but the only ones who remembered them were Carmen, Connor, and Russel. Even the pictures that once displayed the faces of their friends and peers were missing the faces of those lost to memory. One family dwindled one by one, losing kids, losing a husband, and finally, losing the mother, and once she had stepped into the past, the house was replaced with trees and flowers, with no record that it ever existed.

Scared, confused, and wondering if they would be next, three young adults must try to figure out where their townsfolk had disappeared to, and if they can stop the spread of these losses. Can they find the missing people? Can they stop the disappearances? Or will they be eaten away by the town like everyone else?

↳˗ˏˋCharactersˊˎ˗ ↴

↳˗ˏˋ RUSSEL POOLE ˊˎ˗

↳˗ˏˋ 17, He/They, Cis, Gay

↳˗ˏˋ Uses a walking cane

↳˗ˏˋ Aspires to live by the ocean and be a marine biologist

↳˗ˏˋ Has two younger sisters, 8 and 13

↳˗ˏˋ CONNOR PARRISH ˊˎ˗

↳˗ˏˋ 19, He/Him, Trans, Straight

↳˗ˏˋ Autistic, BPD

↳˗ˏˋ Unsure of his aspirations, so he’s searching for his purpose while spending time with his friends

↳˗ˏˋ Has a younger brother, 3

↳˗ˏˋ CARMEN WARD ˊˎ˗

↳˗ˏˋ 18, She/It, Trans, Bisexual

↳˗ˏˋ Needs hearing aids, uses ASL

↳˗ˏˋ Aspires to be a tattoo artist

↳˗ˏˋ Only child

[weshipyourride]

From Athlete To Entrepreneur: Tessa’s NICA Journey

We created our Bikeflights Buck Up For Bikes Program in 2016 to support non-profit grassroots partner organizations developing the next generation of cyclists, but it turns out that sometimes developing the next generation of cyclists also leads to developing the next generation of entrepreneurs. In this guest blog post, one of our long-time Buck Up For Bikes beneficiaries, the National Interscholastic Cycling Association (NICA), shares an inspirational story about a young woman who not only discovered a love of riding but also co-founded a new bike brand.

Tessa’s journey with NICA began as a sixth grader at Ardis Ann Middle School in Bentonville, Arkansas. 

She wanted to try a sport, but was unsure about which to pursue until her PE teacher, Tim Keith, introduced her to the after-school "Bike Club." Tessa initially rode her BMX bike, but found herself drawn to the idea of riding trails.

Seeing this, Coach Keith told her about a local mountain bike team called the "Lincoln Junior High Leopards.”  Her dad Saul was skeptical, worried that she might struggle due to her ADHD. After discussing the pros and cons with Coach Keith, Saul decided to let Tessa give it a try. He even gave her his own mountain bike to kick start her journey.

Instantly, she fell in love with mountain biking! Tessa participated in NICA every year, even serving the Arkansas Interscholastic Cycling League as a GRiT ambassador. She graduated from her high school team in May of 2023.

Over the years, Tessa's time with her team made an ongoing impact on her self-confidence and well-being. Participating in a sport that she loved, and with a caring community around her, Tessa was able to manage her ADHD and overcame some of her struggles with schoolwork. She became an honor roll student with a 4.0 GPA, and credits NICA as being an outlet that helped her to focus on everyday tasks and achieve academic success.

Her dad came along for the ride, too. Saul earned his Level 1 Coaching license to help out the team. At practices and races, he used his mechanical skills to support kids and coaches with their bikes, serving as the “Team Mechanic.”

Tessa knew when she graduated that she wanted to start her own business. When the opportunity arose for Tessa and Saul to attend GORP (Greenhouse Outdoor Recreational Program), a University of Arkansas program developing entrepreneurs in the outdoor recreation industry, they knew they had to participate. Tessa was the youngest entrepreneur in their cohort.

GORP introduced them to the ins and outs of starting a business, which laid the foundation for Tessa and Saul’s new project, their very own bike brand: XNA Bikes.

Even now, months after graduating, NICA remains an integral part of Tessa's life. She started coaching young kids with a local mountain bike group, and shares NICA with everyone she talks to.

From a sixth grader struggling with ADHD and searching for a place to belong, to an entrepreneur making her mark on her community, Tessa's NICA journey has been nothing short of transformative. Her story represents the power that cycling has to change lives, build friendships, unite families, and most importantly, create spaces for everyone to enjoy.

All photos courtesy of National Interscholastic Cycling Association (NICA).

When you book your next Bikeflights shipment, remember to donate a buck, or more, to support the future of cycling. We collect and cover the costs of processing donations, making sure that every dollar donated goes directly to the partner organizations. We also cover all costs of administering and publicizing the program. To date, we’ve raised more than $121k+ to work toward a more inclusive cycling community. 

Donate to NICA’s “Ride Together, Thrive Together” year-end fundraising campaign.

Learn more about Buck Up For Bikes.