#until u walk out... and have to unlearn some shit

[honeyedmiller]

Ring | Joel Miller

pairing: husband!joel x wife!reader

warnings: tommy’s being a little shit lol, marriage, reader is unintentionally oblivious for a bit, no outbreak, reader is depicted to be shorter than joel, au where ellie is joel and reader’s adopted daughter but she’s only very briefly mentioned, smut (bathroom quickie), slight jealousy, no use of y/n. 18+, minors dni.

word count: 2k

synopsis: Tommy teases Joel about you and him having marriage problems when he notices you aren’t wearing your ring.

quick one shot in honor of 700 followers??? oh my god?? i love u all sm thank you!!!

this was honestly kinda poorly written. forgive me :’)

“Hey big brother, what’s up with you and your girl?” Tommy asks, brows furrowed as he leans up against the counter next to Joel.

“Hell are ya talkin’ about, Tommy?” Joel continues to chop onions for the barbecue you guys were throwing today.

“Are you guys, I dunno, having marriage problems?” Tommy quirks a brow, and Joel halts his movements. He sets the knife down on the counter while averting his gaze up to his brother, expression clearly displaying pure annoyance.

Tommy might’ve bugged the shit out of Joel, but he knew he had good intentions. So why the hell would he be asking this?

“What makes you say that?” Joel crosses his arms over his chest now, waiting for Tommy to spew some bullshit at him.

“She’s not wearin’ her ring.” Tommy shrugs, and Joel’s permanent furrowed brow lines deepen even further.

“The hell she ain’t. She always wears her ring.” Joel argues back.

“Go see for yourself big brother.” Tommy gestures outside, where Joel pushes past him and slides open the glass door to find you at the cooler talking with some random new guy from the neighborhood. Joel noticed that he was trying to flirt with you, and being the naturally kindhearted and welcoming person you were, you didn’t catch on.

Joel also noticed that Tommy was right—you weren’t wearing your ring.

If there was one thing that Joel learned from you over the years you’ve been together and three years married, it was how to properly communicate his feelings. He used to be so closed off and would bottle everything up, letting stuff bother him until he became so distant.

You weren’t having any of that, though, so you sat him down one day and told him that you needed proper communication between you both. You were a saint with Joel, being so patient and kind to him as he was trying to unlearn his previous ways of shutting himself out from everyone around him when he didn’t exactly know how to communicate something.

Some days were harder than others, but ever the sweetheart you are, you never rushed him or got irritated when he couldn’t exactly seem to form his words to you. You just held him and kissed him repeatedly, letting him know it was okay and he could take his time.

This time around, he didn’t seem to have a single bit of a problem telling you what he was feeling. So, he walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your temple to show the man that was so clearly interested in you that you were taken.

“Hey darlin’.” Joel rasps into your ear, kissing your shoulder afterward.

“Hey baby. This is Dominic. He’s new to the neighborhood. Dominic, this is my husband, Joel.”

Joel sported a shit-eating grin when Dominic’s body went rigid at the word husband. Joel stuck his hand out to him, and Dominic apprehensively shook his hand. Joel’s grip was firmer than it regularly was, and Dominic flinched in the slightest.

“Thanks for keeping my beautiful wife some company while I got stuff ready for the grill.” Joel’s voice dripped with sarcasm, and you looked up at him with a quirked brow.

He offered you a tight-lipped smile when his gaze met yours, clearing his throat. “Can I steal you for a minute, baby?” He asks, arms possessively wrapping around your frame. You nod, confused as to why Joel was acting a bit strange suddenly.

He intertwines your hand with his, and you excuse yourself from Dominic as Joel led you into the house and up to your bedroom.

“What’s this about, Joel?” You question as he closes the bedroom door, locking it behind him.

“Where’s your wedding ring at, baby?” He asks, looking down at you. A glint of something flashes across his eyes, but you couldn’t put your finger on what.

“‘S in my jewelry box. I didn’t wanna lose it helping around the backyard today or swimming if I did, so I knew it would be safe in there instead. Why?” Your curiosity is piqued.

Joel slowly maneuvers himself past you and over to your jewelry box, opening the top of it to firstly find your wedding ring neatly placed.

He takes the ring out of the jewelry box and walks over to you, grabbing your left hand to slip it onto your ring finger once more. Right where it belongs, perfectly fitted. He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly.

“Tommy’s bein’ a little shit, as always. Came into the kitchen with assumptions that we were having ‘marriage problems’ because you weren’t wearing your ring.” He tsked, shaking his head.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“Y’gotta stop letting Tommy get into your head, J. I love you, I’m yours, and I’m not going anywhere.” You reassured him, and his lips curled up in the slightest.

“I know baby, I just can’t help but feel jealous when I see another man flirting with my woman.”

“Jealous? Of who?” You were puzzled at Joel’s confession, resting a steady hand on his warm chest.

“That new neighbor. Dylan or whatever the fuck his name is.” Joel spat.

You had no idea Dominic was even flirting with you. You thought he was just being friendly. Fuck, maybe Joel was right. Maybe you are oblivious sometimes.

You wrap your hands around the back of his neck, pulling him down so his lips envelope yours. One hand of his is splayed over the small of your back while the other rests on the outside of your thigh, rubbing small circles into your exposed skin. The dress you were wearing today was just another distraction for Joel and a reminder that he needed to behave himself or else the whole neighborhood would hear you saying his name like a prayer on Sunday morning.

Joel’s cock stirred at the thought, and he groaned into the kiss. You pulled apart from him and moved your hands down to his chest again.

“C’mon cowboy, people are gonna wonder where we’re at.” You grin, going to the bedroom door to unlock it. You were about halfway down the hallway before Joel tugged you into the bathroom on your right side.

“They can wait.” He closed the door and pressed you up against it, locking the lock before smashing his lips to yours.

There was so much hunger behind his kiss. You felt slick start to pool onto your panties, the want in your core licking a flame up your body. You moan into the kiss, gripping the back of his head to mold yourself even further into him. It was nothing but teeth clashing, lips smacking, and fervor for one another as the kiss continued.

“Gotta make this quick, babydoll.” Joel finally broke the kiss as you softly whined, and he turned you around to move you in front of the wide mirror. You met his gaze through the reflection, nothing but hunger in his eyes.

He lifted up your dress and pulled your panties down your legs in one swift motion. His middle finger wasted no time in collecting the slick arousal between your legs, causing you to moan softly.

“Always so ready for me, baby.” Joel chuckled darkly as he brought his middle finger up to suck your arousal off of it. He looked you right into the reflection of your eyes as he did so. The sight was nearly pornographic.

You bite your lip and plead with your eyes; please please please just fuck me, Joel.

His middle finger made its way back down to your slick cunt before he pushed it into you, pumping languidly. He curled his thick finger to hit the spot that drove you wild, and you found yourself gripping onto the counter for dear life. You decided, though, that his finger just wasn’t enough in this moment.

“Please, J. I need you.”

“Need you too, baby.” Joel got the message clear as day, unbuckling his belt and undoing his zipper and jeans button in record time, pulling down the fabric along with his boxers. His painful erection sprung free, and he lined himself up with your throbbing, aching cunt.

He easily found home in you as he sunk to the hilt, groaning at how good you felt around him.

“Be a good girl for me and tell me who you belong to.” Joel’s voice was dark, teetering on the line of possessive. You found it hot, though.

“Y-Yours, Joel. ‘M all yours.” You can barely say your words as he starts to rock his hips, deliciously stretching you out every time his hips collided with your ass.

“That’s it, baby, mine. No one else’s. Perfect little pussy is mine, you’re mine, mine.” He gritted into your hair, pulling you back against him by your waist as he rocked his hips up into you. You leaned your head back on his shoulder, moaning his name softly.

“Gotta be quiet, baby, can’t have anyone hearin’ us now.” Joel kissed you sloppily to hide your lewd moans, hips snapping up into you.

“Fuck, Joel, feel s’good.” Your words start to mesh together like you’re absolutely cock drunk.

Joel bends you back down over the sink and gently wraps his hand around your throat, forcing you to look up into the mirror as he pounds into you from behind.

“So fuckin’ beautiful. Takin’ me so well, sweet girl. Been teasin’ me with this little dress on all day.” Joel lets go of your throat and slides his hand down to your front, rubbing your clit in fast, circular motions.

You barely have time to process that your body is about to give into Joel’s expert touch. You squeeze your eyes shut, jaw falling completely slack as you let out an accidental loud moan. Joel didn’t even stop you that time, because he himself was already on the brink of an orgasm.

“Cum with me, my love.” Joel groans into your ear. You both let go and just let it happen, praying that the music playing in the backyard is loud enough to cover your wanton moans as you both come down from your orgasms. Joel was reluctant to move out of you at first, but he couldn’t take the way you were clenched down on him anymore.

You were so fucking intoxicating and if it were his choice, he’d gladly be buried into your sweet, warm cunt all of the time.

Reality trickled back in around you both as he pulled out of you with a groan, both breathless and panting. After readjusting and redressing himself, he grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet above the toilet and wet it, wiping down the excess of his remnants on the apex of your inner thighs. He planted a kiss on the back of your thigh, pulling your panties up on you as he stood back up.

He helped fix your hair and readjusted you so you looked almost completely normal, albeit your face felt hot and you had a post-fuck look on your face.

He brought you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he kissed your hair.

“I love you, baby.” He murmurs softly, rocking you for a minute.

“I love you too.” Your reached your left hand up to hook onto his forearm that was wrapped around you, giving it a squeeze. Your ring glinted in the sunlight that pooled into the bathroom window, and Joel smiled happily.

“We’ll continue this later tonight, baby. Maybe Sarah and Ellie can spend the night at a friend’s house tonight.”

Your lips curl into a smile at his suggestion, and you lean up to kiss his cheek.

“Let’s get back out to the party.” He pats your ass and opens the door, coming out after you. You make your way down the stairs, Joel hot on your trail.

Tommy gives Joel a knowing look of ‘I know exactly what you two were up to.’

Joel scoffs at Tommy and grumbles as he moves past his younger brother.

“Marriage problems my ass.”

tag list: @party-hearses ; @nostalxgic ; @ilovepedro ; @bastardmandennis ; @tinygarbage ; @cool-iguana

[kathlare]

emails i can't send

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Lando picks up Luisinha from the airport, but an unspoken tension lingers between them. As Amelie’s debut album emails i can't send dominates conversations online, Luisinha struggles with the media’s obsession over Lando and Amelie’s past.

Wordcount: 1.3 k

Warnings: none

full masterlist // request over here!

July 15th, 2022 - London, United Kingdom

liked by alexwolffofficial, jackdayman, and others

ameliedayman: emails i can't send is out now 💌

this feels really surreal, i kind of had to unlearn myself and learn myself again in order to make this album. it's the one i'm most proud of thus far in my life. it's the one i hope you listen to and feel like we were hanging and confiding in each other for an hour. me and the mic were like this the whooole time 🤞🏼 i never thought i would finish it because it was really scary to close the chapter. but i closed it so you can open it! and i hope you do. and i hope you love it. the way i have for so long.

couldn't have made it without some of the most special souls 🤍

rant over for nooow please stream this shit a lot if u don't mind it took me years to make lol

View all 921 comments

maddieziegler: Just finished listening and I’m SOBBING 😭👏 → ameliedayman: @maddieziegler Same, but in a happy way! 💌

stelladayman: Proud of you more than words can explain. Can't stop crying. → ameliedayman: @stelladayman Love you sis 💖

pitstoptea: THIS ALBUM DESERVES A GRAMMY, NO QUESTION.

hayesgrier: BANGERS ONLY. Can't believe this is YOUR voice, holy shit. → ameliedayman: @hayesgrier I'm still processing it too LOL! 😅

georgerussell63: My playlist just got a serious upgrade 🔥 → ameliedayman: @gerogerussell63 Glad you approve!! 😏🔥

pitstopgossip: Amelie’s growth is unmatched. I’m addicted to every track.

charles_leclerc: You did it, you absolute legend. This is what dreams are made of. → ameliedayman: @charles_leclerc Feeling like a dream, appreciate you so much 🖤

taylorswift: I knew this would be perfection. So proud of you. → ameliedayman: @taylorswift Coming from you, I’m crying 💖

emmachamberlain: Just played it from start to finish, it’s everything. → ameliedayman: @emmachamberlain THANK YOU for the love, it means so much!! 💖

nikki_kaz: Honestly, we didn’t deserve this album, but I’m so glad we got it.

-------------

Lando pulled into the airport parking lot, the familiar hum of his car a dull background noise to the swarm of thoughts buzzing in his mind. His relationship with Luisinha had been going smoothly lately—at least, it seemed that way on the surface. The media frenzy surrounding his past with Amelie had faded for the most part, but there was still the occasional article, the comments, the whispers. Lando hadn’t really paid attention to any of it. Until now.

Today, Amelie’s debut album, emails i can't send, had dropped. He hadn’t listened to it yet, but he couldn’t escape the chatter. Fans, journalists—everyone had been speculating about which songs were about him. The whole thing was uncomfortable. Lando had tried to avoid it, but he had the sinking feeling that it was about to be front and center again.

He spotted Luisinha as she exited the terminal, her hair catching the sunlight, her small frame moving through the crowd with the grace that always seemed to make heads turn. She was smiling as she waved at him, but there was something off about the way her eyes met his.

Lando parked and jumped out of the car, walking towards her. She had always been the kind of person who carried herself with confidence, but today, there was something subdued about her.

—Hey,— Lando said, greeting her with a quick kiss on the cheek. He noticed how she seemed to stiffen, almost imperceptibly, but didn’t think much of it at first.

—Hey,— she replied, forcing a smile. But there was something in her voice that caught his attention. It was quiet, distant.

They both climbed into the car, the awkward silence between them settling in. Lando tried to make small talk, asking her how her flight was, but she didn’t seem to be in the mood for conversation. She stared out of the window, her lips pressed together, clearly not paying attention to anything he was saying.

Lando couldn't ignore the tension that seemed to hang in the air. He glanced at her a few times as he navigated the streets, trying to figure out what was going on. Luisinha had always been easy to talk to, but today, something was different. She was distant, her usually warm presence almost cold.

He exhaled, glancing over at her again. —You okay?— he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

Luisinha didn’t immediately answer, but she shifted in her seat, adjusting her legs as if she were uncomfortable. Finally, after a long silence, she spoke, her voice quieter than usual. —Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired from the flight. Nothing to worry about.—

Lando frowned, unconvinced. He knew her well enough to know that something was off, and the more she brushed it off, the more frustrated he became. —Don’t lie to me, Lu. I can tell you’re not okay. What’s going on?— he pressed.

She let out a small, almost defeated sigh, before turning to face him. Her lips parted as if she were about to speak, but she hesitated, the words caught in her throat.

Lando’s patience wore thin. —Look, I know something’s up. Just tell me.—

Luisinha's fingers gripped the edge of her seat as she finally spoke, her voice cracking slightly. —It’s just… all this shit with Amelie, Lando.—

He shot her a glance, not fully understanding. —What do you mean?—

Her eyes flashed, her brow furrowing. —The media. The fucking fans. They’re still talking about you two. I thought it was over, but now with her album out, fuck, now it’s even worse. Everyone’s fucking speculating about the songs. Everyone’s saying they’re about you.—

Lando’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles going white. He knew where this was going, but he couldn’t hold back his irritation. —I can’t control what people say or what they think, Luisinha. You know that. I don’t care about the fucking rumors.—

Luisinha’s face flushed with frustration. —But I do! It’s not like I can just ignore it! It’s everywhere! The fucking media’s obsessed with you two, and I can’t fucking stand it!— Her voice was getting louder, more agitated. —I’m supposed to just sit here while people talk about how you two were this perfect couple? When I know you were with her, when I know how things were between you two?—

Lando exhaled sharply, his jaw tightening. He felt the anger bubbling up inside him. —I never asked for this. I never asked for them to keep bringing her up! I’m not the one who fucking wrote the album!— He slammed his hand on the steering wheel, making the car jerk slightly.

Luisinha recoiled, her face paling. Her eyes flickered with hurt. —You didn’t have to do anything. You were a part of her life, and now she’s putting it all out there. It’s like I don’t even matter to you because this is still hanging over us!— She shook her head in disbelief, her voice quieter now, but no less hurt. —You don’t even seem to care that it’s making me uncomfortable. That it’s making me feel like shit. That it’s making me feel like I’m just another footnote in your fucking history.—

Lando’s anger flared, and he didn’t hold back. —It’s not my fucking fault she decided to put all this shit out there, okay? I’m not the one who’s still stuck on the past! It’s not like I fucking planned for any of this to happen, but here we are. Deal with it. I’m not gonna apologize for her album or for whatever people want to think!— His words hung in the air, harsh and biting.

Luisinha went silent. The hurt in her eyes was clear, but it only seemed to make her angrier. She turned her head away from him, staring out of the window, her lip trembling slightly. The tension in the car was suffocating.

After a long silence, she finally spoke, her voice low and strained. —I don’t want to be here right now. Drop me off at a hotel, Lando. I can’t be with you like this.—

Lando felt a pang of guilt, but it was quickly overshadowed by frustration. —Lu, come on, don’t do this. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just—shit, I don’t know what you want me to say! It’s not like I can fix any of this, okay?— He was pleading now, his voice softer, but the damage had already been done.

Luisinha shook her head, her tone firm. —No. Just take me to the hotel. I need some space. You need some space. We’ll talk when I’m not so fucking pissed off. Right now, I just… I can’t.—

Lando’s heart sank. He wasn’t used to this—the coldness, the distance, the anger. He wanted to fix it, but everything he said only seemed to make it worse. The way she was looking at him, like she couldn’t even stand to be in the same car as him, made him sick to his stomach.

He didn’t argue. With a heavy sigh, he turned the car in the direction of the nearest hotel. The silence between them was almost unbearable. Lando couldn’t help but replay the argument in his head, wishing he could take back the things he’d said. But it was too late now.

When they finally arrived at the hotel, Luisinha didn’t wait for him to open the door. She got out of the car on her own, slamming the door behind her before walking briskly toward the entrance. Lando stayed in the car, watching her leave, his heart aching in a way that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

He didn’t want to feel like this. He didn’t want to have this fight. He just wanted things to be normal again.

But nothing felt normal anymore. Not with Luisinha. Not with Amelie.

Lando sat there for a long moment, the weight of everything pressing down on him. Finally, he pulled out his phone, his thumb hovering over Amelie’s number. But he didn’t call. He didn’t text. Instead, he opened up the playlist for emails i can't send.

Maybe he needed to hear it.

Maybe he needed to remember.

But he didn’t know how much more he could take.

-------------

[blackcatrph]

** sour  sentence  starters.

brutal.

“  i think that i’ll die before i drink.  ”

“  i'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you.  ”

“  i'm so tired that I might quit my job, start a new life.  ”

“  they'd all be so disappointed  because who am I if not exploited?  ”

“  where's my fuckin' teenage dream?  ”

“  if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth," I'm gonna cry.  ”

“  i'm anxious and nothing can help.  ”

“  i wish I'd done this before.  ”

“  i wish people liked me more.  ”

“  all I did was try my best.  ”

“  this the kind of thanks I get?  ”

“  they say these are the golden years.  ”

“  i wish I could disappear.  ”

“  god, it's brutal out here.  ”

“  i feel like no one wants me.  ”

“  i only have two real friends.  ”

“  lately I'm a nervous wreck.  ”

“  i love people I don't like.  ”

“  i hate every song I write.  ”

“  i'm not cool, and I'm not smart.  ”

“  i can't even parallel park.  ”

“  got a broken ego, broken heart.  ”

“  i don't even know where to start.  ”

traitor.

“  brown guilty eyes and little white lies.  ”

“  i played dumb but I always knew.  ”

“  i kept quiet so I could keep you.  ”

“  ain't it funny how you ran to her the second that we called it quits?  ”

“  ain't it funny how you said you were friends?  ”

“  it sure as hell don't look like it.  ”

“  you betrayed me.  ”

“  i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt.  ”

“  loved you at your worst but that didn't matter.  ”

“  guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.  ”

“  there's no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly.  ”

“  ain't it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid?  ”

“  remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid?  ”

“  i wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.  ”

“  you gave me your word but that didn't matter.  ”

drivers  license. 

“  i got my driver's license last week.  ”

“  just like we always talked about.  ”

“  today I drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around.  ”

“  you're probably with that blonde girl.  ”

“  she's so much older than me.  ” 

“  she's everything I'm insecure about.  ”

“  how could I ever love someone else?   “

“  i know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one.  ”

“  i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.  ”

“  guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.  ”

“  all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you.  ”

“  I kinda feel sorry for them because they'll never know you the way that I do.  ”

“  i still see your face in the white cars, front yards.  ”

“  can't drive past the places we used to go to because I still fuckin' love you.  ”

1  step  forward,  3  steps  back.

“  i called you on the phone today.  ”

“  all I did was speak normally.  ”

“  you got me fucked up in the head.  ”

“  like am I pretty? am I fun?  ”

“  i hate that I gave you power over that kind of stuff.  ”

“  it's always one step forward and three steps back.  ”

“  i'm the love of your life until I make you mad.  ”

“  do you love me, want me, hate me? i don't understand.  ”

“  maybe in some masochistic way I kind of find it all exciting.  ”

“  which lover will I get today?  ”

“  will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?  ”

“  it's back and forth, did I say somethin' wrong?  ”

“  it's back and forth, goin' over everything I said.  ”

“  i'd leave you, but the roller coaster's all I've ever had.  ”

deja vu.

“  strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two?  ”

“  i bet she's braggin' to all her friends, sayin' you're so unique.  ”

“  so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too?  ”

“  that was our place, I found it first.  ”

“  i made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you.  ”

“  do you get déjà vu when she's with you?  ”

“  do you call her, almost say my name?  ”

“  i hate to think that I was just your type.  ”

“  don't act like we didn't do that shit too.  ”

“  play her piano, but she doesn't know that I was the one who taught you Billy Joel.  ”

good  4  u.

“  well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.  ”

“  you found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.  ”

“  remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?  ”

“  good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself.  ” 

“  i guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped.  ”

“  now you can be a better man for your brand new girl.  ”

“  well, good for you, you look happy and healthy.  ”

“  not me, if you ever cared to ask.  ”

“  good for you, you're doin' great out there without me.  ”

“  i've lost my mind.  ”

“  i've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom.  ”

“  it's like we never even happened.  ”

“  what the fuck is up with that?  ”

“  good for you, it's like you never even met me.  ”

“  remember when you swore to god i was the only person who ever got you?  ”

“  well, screw that and screw you.  ”

“  you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional.  ”

“  your apathy's like a wound in salt.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional  or maybe you never cared at all.  ”

“  like a damn sociopath.  ”

enough  for  you.

“  i wore makeup when we dated because I thought you'd like me more.  ”

“  i know that you loved before.  ”

“  tried so hard to be everything that you like.  ”

“  i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that I was smart.  ”

“  stupid, emotional, obsessive little me.  ”

“  i knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave.  ”

“  you found someonе more exciting.  ”

“  you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong.  ”

“  you always say I'm never satisfied but I don't think that's true.  ”

“  all I ever wanted was to be enough for you.  ”

“  maybe I'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before.  ”

“  you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more.  ”

“  i'd say you broke my heart but you broke much more than that.  ”

“  i don’t want your sympathy, i just want myself back.  ”

“  don’t you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded?  ”

“  don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?  ”

“  don’t tell me you’re sorry, feel sorry for yourself.  ”

“  someday i’ll be everything to somebody else.  ”

“  you’ll be the one crying.  ”

happier.

“  we broke up a month ago. ”

“  your friends are mine you know.  ”

“  you’ve moved on, found someone new.  ”

“  i thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past.  ”

“  she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty.  ”

“  does she mean you forgot about me ?  ”

“  i hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me.  ”

“  i’m selfish i know. i can’t let you go.  ”

“  find someone great, but don’t find no one better.  ”

“  i hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier.  ”

 “  do you tell her she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?  ”

“  an eternal love bullshit you know you’ll never mean.  ”

“  remember when i believe you meant it when you said it first to me?  ”

“  now i’m picking her apart like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart.  ”

“  she’s beautiful, she looks kind.  ”

“  she probably gives you butterflies.  ”

“  i wish you all the best, really.  ”

“  say you love her, just not like you loved me.  ”

“  think of me fondly when your hands are on her.  ”

jealousy  jealousy.

“  i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room.  ”

“  all i see are girls too good to be true.  ”

“  i know their beauty’s not my lack but it feels like that weight is on my back.  ”

“  comparison is killing me slowly.  ”

“  i think i think too much.  ”

“  i’m so sick of myself, i’d rather be anyone else.  ”

“  my jealousy started following me.  ”

“  i see everyone getting all the things i want.  ”

“  i’m happy for them, but then again, i’m not.  ”

“  i can’t stand it.  ” 

“  oh god i sound crazy.  ”

“  their win is not my loss, i know it’s true.  ”

“  i can’t help getting caught up in it all.  ”

“  all your friends are so cool.  ”

“  you go out every night.  ”

“  you’re living the life.  ”

“  i want to be you so bad, and i don’t even know you.  ”

“  all i see is what i should be.  ”

favourite  crime.

“  know that i love you so bad.  ”

“  i let you treat me like that.  ”

“  i was your willing accomplice.  ”

“  i watched as you fled the scene.  ”

“  doe-eyed as you buried me.  ”

“  the things i did just so i could call you mine.  ”

“  the things you did. well, i hope i was your favourite crime.  ”

“  you used me as an alibi.  ”

“  i crossed my heart and you crossed the line.  ”

“  i defended you to all my friends.  ”

“  every time i siren sounds, i wonder if you’re around.  ”

“  you know that i’d do it all again.  ”

“  it’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we’d do.  ”

“  i was going down but i was doing it with you.  ”

“  i say that i hate you with a smile on my face.  ”

“  look what we became.  ” 

hope  ur  ok.

“  his parents cared more about the bible than being good to their own child.  ”

“  wore long sleeves because of his dad.  ”

“  somehow we fell out of touch.  ”

“  hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush.  ”

“  don’t know if i’ll see you again someday.  ”

“  i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  her parents hated who she loved.  ”

“  she was brought into a world where family was merely blood.  ” 

“  with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred.  ”

“  we don’t talk much.  ”

“  i miss you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  address the letter to the holes in my butterfly wings.  ”

“  nothing’s forever, nothing is as good as it seems.  ”

“  when the clouds are ironed our and the monsters creep into your house, every door is hard to close.  ”

“  i hope you know how proud i am.  ”

“  i hope that you’re happier today.  ”

“  i love you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”  

[xpeachesncream]

Can i Request a Drabble where Aiko keeps sending taehyung Nudes and the reader gets insecure about her appearance bc of it? She compares herself to Aiko and it makes taehyung upset :/ im not too good with requests sorry if this isn’t clear

perfectly wrong | drabble [11]: it’s the way that she sits pretty with that perfect hourglass shape of hers in her nudes.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: cussing, implied sexual content, jealousy, insecurities about image/looks

Okay, let's be real. Men love nudes. They all have needs, and they all love marveling at a naked body, especially when it comes unexpectedly. It could be a good, or bad thing. Whatever it is, they love that shit either way. I'm calling a man's bluff if he ever says he didn't enjoy looking at someone's nudes.

Taehyung isn't exempt. It was honestly the biggest highlight when he went on his fuckboy spree. Just the feeling of being wanted so badly that girls would send you nudes to grab your attention. Biggest ego booster.

Before anyone gets on his ass, he loves his woman and he quickly taps out of the snapchat so he doesn't see it for long. It's been Aiko's 5th nude so far, and he's already knowing what to expect when the notification hits his screen. He knows this shit.

You were there the first time she sent him a nude over snapchat. You both looked at it, confused that it had been sent to the wrong person since she hadn't sent him anything in between that movie selfie and this. It became a running joke for awhile, but it eventually died the less you saw or heard of it. You just actually didn't know she was still sending him nudes.

So, when you see her snapchat notification pop up on his screen again, you're a little taken aback.

"Aiko's still sending you snaps?" You ask as you hug Taehyung tightly while you both are cuddling on Jimin's couch, watching another yet unsatisfying episode of Unsolved Mysteries. You all had just finished watching The Hate U Give, Jimin throwing the channel on something random afterwards. He sat on the other portion of his couch, hugging a pillow tightly against his chest as he cussed to himself and mumbled questions about how people could stand this show if barely any of the episodes were actually solved.

You get the frustration, right? You just wanna know if they ever caught the killer, or if they found new clues, but most of the episodes end so abruptly with that 'if you happen to have any info regarding this case' message with the number to call.

"Yeah, it's whatever though." Taehyung says, keeping his eyes on the tv while you fiddled with his phone.

"Woah!" You say as you pressed on her snap, revealing her nude and on her bed, fingers trailing down to her lady friend. You tilted your head as you watched her begin to rub her clit ever so softly. The thing that gets you though is her body, and how she sat there, looking like a perfect hourglass. "Interesting." Taehyung looks at his phone and does a double take.

"Oh shit." He nonchalantly says as he also tilts his head confusingly while looking at the snap, causing you to shake your head and hit his chest as you tap out if it. The second thing that catches your eye is how many times her name comes up in his history.

"She's been sending you snaps?"

"Yeah, but I don't pay much attention to it." He caresses your arm as you slightly tilt your head up to look at him.

"Have they all been nudes?"

"Yes, but I told you I don't pay much attention to it, baby." You were unsatisfied with his answer, only because you just got a glimpse of what she sent tonight. You have no idea what the others looked like, but you were thinking it was just as this one was - the perfect position in her hourglass shape.

"Okay." Is all you say. You suddenly felt insecure as fuck, knowing your man had seen those snaps of her. She honestly looked like a fucking goddess and it kills you. He used to fuck her, for god's sake! Aka he used to have the hots for her to some extent?! He considered it once, and it makes you feel a little queazy knowing he could again.

"What happened?" Jimin asks from his side of the couch.

"Aiko sent Taehyung a nude." You flatly respond.

"Seen it, she's sent me the same ones." You roll your eyes because for Jimin, it's whatever. For your man though, please. Don't come up in his inbox with that mess. What the fuck was she trying to do here, show the world her coochie? She was feeling herself that much?

Shit, honestly. Single and with that body, you would be too. Fuck, that's annoying.

"Baby, it's nothing, okay?" He gently tickles your chin.

"Kaaaaay, I heard you." You say as bothered as possible. For the remaining time at Jimin's, you're quiet. Your mood has plunged. You just wanted to sulk in your bed. Taehyung takes notice, but he was going to wait until you two were alone to bring it up.

Which is now, in the car, in your guest parking spot.

"Okay, what's going on in my pretty lady's head?" He shuts off the car and sinks into the driver's seat, having the damn nerve to manspread in it.

"Nothing."

"Mm, not gonna fly with me, sweetheart."

"I just can't believe she's been sending you nudes."

"So what? It doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah right, with that body of hers? How could it not? You used to have a thing for her."

"Used to."

"Her body is fucking perfect, it's annoying."

"Babygirl, don't do that. I don't like when you compare yourself. You're the only person I know who's close to perfect." He boops your nose, but it leaves you unamused. You're just letting your feelings of insecurity and jealousy get to you that everything is clouded. All the things he's saying doesn't reach you, and you're literally in the mood to pick a fight for no whole ass reason over it. That was exactly one of your other bad habits that you had trouble unlearning.

"Whatever." You brushed him off, making him a little irritated with the way you were coming off over this. Again, Taehyung doesn't mind reassuring you. He loves doing it. He loves babying you and being the best he can be. But there were days where your attitude did get to the best of him, especially when he was trying. Taehyung hadn't given you a reason to make you doubt him since you two became exclusive, so he didn't think it was necessary for you to act the way you were acting.

"Really, Y/N? This isn't necessary."

"Why are you still even entertaining her snaps? Shouldn't you have gotten rid of her contact info already?" He grabs his phone and blocks her on snapchat, showing it to you before shoving it into the small storage space under the car's radio.

"There, happy?"

"Why are you so mad about it? I'm sorry you want to see her body so fucking badly."

"I'm mad because you're being a brat when you don't need to be." He looks at you intimidatingly with his piercing eyes. "You're putting words in my mouth. I never said I wanted to. Plus, I've told you time and time again that it was nothing and that it didn't mean anything to me." You roll your eyes, getting out of the passenger's seat to make your way up to your apartment.

Alright so, here's the deal. You feel like Taehyung is missing the point. Aiko looked so good in that ones nap. So good that you suddenly questioned your own look and felt completely insecure. You disliked hearing him say it wasn't a big deal, because it was. To you, at least.

Taehyung sighed heavily before going after you. He does a light jog, barely catching the elevator you had hopped into.

"Y/N, don't do that." You glared at him.

"It's not a big deal, right?" He sighs again before running his hand through his curly hair. The elevator doors open, but he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you back in and preventing you from walking out. "Tae, let me go."

"Nah." He shrugs. "Not until we fix this." The elevator stays at their floor.

"You said it wasn't a big deal." You crossed your arms.

"Okay, I'm sorry." A good thing about Taehyung is that he's learned to be better about admitting his mistakes and saying sorry when he's in the wrong. "I shouldn't have said it in a way that would make you feel like I'm discrediting your feelings." You continue to look at him silently, the elevator suddenly going back down to the lobby. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner or get rid of her shit earlier. But baby, her snapchats don't mean a thing to me. I don't care how 'good' she looks or if they're nudes." He uses finger quotes. "It's still not you."

"I just--" You sighed, watching a lady come into the elevator to join you two to go up to the 8th floor. "I feel like I can't look that good. She had the perfect hourglass figure and she looked so good posing for her nudes. The perfect angle, her hair, the way she smiled through her eyes. I can only imagine what the others were like." He shook his head and shrugged.

"I honestly don't remember." Truthfully. He really didn't care about them, even if he took a quick glance. At the end of the day, they still weren't memorable because it wasn't his lady. "And I don't care if she has that, or whatever it is. I love you." He smiles toothlessly at you. You catch the lady scrunch her nose and smile at you both before walking off. "I love every single thing about you. You're the definition of perfect to me. I hate when you compare yourself because I really, really wish you could see the way I see you."

"Cheesy." It causes you to chuckle a bit and press your hand against his chest as he presses the button to your floor.

"Yeah, okay. You still like to hear it though, I know you." He smirks playfully as he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head. "If it's not you, I don't want it."

"I honestly hate you sometimes." He shrugs before picking you up by the legs and carrying you, causing you to squeal.

"So then hate me."

"Put me down!"

"Say it to my face in bed, baby." He playfully smacks your ass in the hallway, allowing it to echo as he carries you to your apartment. It was hard to stay mad at Taehyung, but you were grateful you had someone like him who could bring you back down to Earth. You had your fair share of bickering and unnecessary arguments [because you liked picking fights with your attitude], but he was still able to show you that he would ride or die for you, no matter how silly things got.

That was your man, and your man only. Sorry Aiko.

[kjmsupremacist]

!!!!teaser!!!! WHEN IT WALKS (yuta/reader)

Reader is certain Yuta is the perfect man for her. But when ghosts from his past come back to haunt them, she finds herself reevaluating their relationship, digging deeper and deeper until she isn’t sure what is true anymore.

“This is why people cry at the movies: because everybody’s doomed. No one in a movie can help themselves in any way. Their fate has already staked its claim on them from the moment they appear onscreen.” —John Darnielle

“ORESTES: This was always going to happen. She’s been dead since the beginning.” —Aeschylus, The Oresteia

Characters: Yuta, Female Reader

Genre: horror, angst, ghosts and spirits, mystery

Warnings: discussion of suicide (no graphic depiction), blood, gore, horror, major character death, unhappy ending (kinda), some brief and nongraphic sex scenes, emotional manipulation, mental health issues, murder, violence, emotional and physical abuse, um like spooky shit (japanese onryō myth!)

Rating: Mature; Teen & Up for the teaser

Length: around 15k; 850 for the teaser

Projected Release Date: Saturday, October 30th

i feel like it goes without saying, but please read the warnings. also, obviously this, like all my other works, does not represent how I actually see yuta. I’m just having fun. I hope you will, too. 

ask if u wanna be on the taglist!

“[Y/N?]” The fortune-teller called from further within the shop, appearing around a corner. “Hello,” they said. “You may call me Aoi. This way, please.”

You followed them down a short hallway to a sitting room. There were beautiful, lush plants everywhere, and they gestured you to a few comfortable-looking armchairs arranged on one side of a small table, sweeping around the other side to sit in the chair opposite.

You picked the one in the middle, scooting it forward as best you could as they got settled. “Now,” they said. “What can I do for you today?”

“I’ve been having strange dreams,” you explained, feeling somewhat silly. “My mother is worried about me, so she told me to come… seek spiritual advice. She just wants to see how my future looks, I think.”

“Certainly. May I have your hand?” Aoi reached out with both of theirs; you extended your dominant hand, and they enveloped it in their own. Their touch was cool, their skin soft. “Ah,” they said after a moment. “You seem to be a very righteous person—worried about fairness, easily affected by injustices—which, given your line of work, unfortunately have not been scarce.” You were a little startled; it was true that you valued fairness and constantly worried over doing what was right. You liked to think it was how you kept yourself honest when you were surrounded by money-hungry crooks. Aoi blinked at you. “You work in a… fast-paced, male-dominated field, do you not?”

You smiled tentatively. “Yes,” you admitted. “Uh, I’m in finance.”

They nodded. “You should unlearn this. No one in your field values righteousness and virtue.” That’s true, you thought to yourself. Almost everyone in finance is corrupt as hell. “It will not serve you in your romantic life, either,” Aoi continued. 

“How?” you asked, curious in spite of yourself.

“It may blind you,” they said simply. “Yes, your romantic life… will be passionate, but tumultuous.” A tremor ran through your body. You were sure Aoi felt it, but they did not comment. “This new love you’ve found—he will be the last love you will ever know.”

“I’m sorry?” you asked. To be fair, you had thought it before—that Yuta checked all your boxes—but you hadn’t wanted to get ahead of yourself. They’re just saying it, you thought to yourself. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. 

Aoi hummed to themself softly, then gasped and nearly dropped your hand. “I’m sorry,” they said quickly. “Your future is very… cloudy. I can’t see very far—only a few years ahead, and then… Nothing.”

It did make you tense up a little, though you tried to stay calm. “Ah,” you said with a nervous laugh. “Does that mean I’m going to die soon?”

Aoi narrowed their eyes, shaking their head slowly. “Maybe,” they said, which was not reassuring in the slightest. “Maybe not. Sometimes, it simply means there are so many moving pieces now that it’s difficult to tell.”

“Does it happen often—that you cannot see far into someone’s future?” You fought to keep derision and skepticism out of your tone.

Aoi must have detected it, anyway. Their eyes flashed. “No,” they said, somewhat sharply. “It is not common. I do not say this to scare you, or to try to scam you into coming back frequently for more readings or advice. I am simply telling you what I see.”

“Right,” you replied, feeling chastised somehow. “So… okay, then when will I know? Like, where does it cut off—if I do come back, when should I?”

Aoi was silent for a minute. “You will experience great turmoil within the next year. It will last for many months. You will be faced with a difficult decision.” Their voice had gained some odd quality to it that made you listen more intently. “You cannot play both sides. Make your choice quickly, and move on, one way or another. When the past no longer haunts you, when it walks free, your path will be set.”

They released your hand. “I—that’s it?” you asked. 

“That’s all I can see,” Aoi replied.

Feeling shaken, you got to your feet. “Um—is there some kind of… protective, like, talisman or something that could help me?” You felt strange asking for it, but despite your own skepticism, you couldn’t help but worry about what was to come if Aoi was right.

But Aoi shook their head. “There is nothing I can sell you that can protect you from your future,” they said. “You are smart, strong of heart and of will. Those traits will be your best defense.”

“Right,” you said again, not sure how else to reply. They led you to the door. “Um, thank you.” You smiled politely at them as you reached for the handle.

“You’re welcome.” They did not return your smile; instead, they watched you with an intense sort of curiosity. It wasn’t until you got home that you realized they also looked a little sad.

[yuusaris]

4, 17, 37 for the fic writer ask game !

4) Link your three favorite fics right now.

love makes monsters of us all [ygo, Tendershipping]. tw for kidnapping, blackmail, sexual coersion, core/graphic violence and homophobic language but it's all worth it, it's some of the most flawless Bakura writing I've ever read, it's a shitton of fun to hear this feral shadow creature enjoy tortuing Ryou's tormetors. A must-read, tbh.

Yet To Come [rvb, lolix] is a fuuuun fucking time. Hands down. erelis is the master of writing Isaac "Felix Fuckface McScouty" Gates, especially in the context of him as an amoral monster of a human being, while giving the feelings he has weight and a deservingness of your sympathy. Locus is on point. Of all the ways to reconcile these two's very different and distinct perspective of things, this is top tier shit.

And honestly? Here's just a list of tenderwulfs YGO writing. All three of them. Fuck it. There's no wrong answer. They're all perfect. They all make me scream and cry. Everything she writes makes me want to eat dirt - it's the only way to soothe whatever w o u n d she decides needs to be opened, in Ryou Bakura's name, on my flesh.

17) How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

The second I post it, I'm staring for a full 24.... 48 hours, or until first non-anon kudos or any comment. Whichever comes first.

In my age, I've learned to accept lack of comments as a facet of life, I write nowadays for a very old fandom, for a ship that's taken a backseat to the numberrrrrrrrr 3? 2? Slot? regarding my faves. But it doesn't stop me. I crave validation. I work hard and I need to be better about my unhealthy attachments to my writing.

Because writing... isn't, like. Content. That's a really bad mindset that I've developed recently, and that's why that compulsion is so strong in me nowadays. I need to unlearn that.

37) Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write.

Okay, so - I have... a LOT of WIPs. I cycle through them so I never get bored writing.

My chat/shipping VRAINS fics have taken a backseat untiiiilll IIIIII watch more VRAINS. My hybrid Vrains/DM vampire fic "How To Be A Vampire", has taken a MASSIVE backseat for the same reason, and also so I can tighten up how I want the Dm portions to go - it was, after all, originally a DM fic with a Vrains spin-off, but it being a primarily Vrains fic with DM support makes more sense and is better tension. As such, i really have to go through my stuff.

I've got a number of other little fics behind me. I'm working on smaller stuff for TenderWeek aaand I've got a joint lo/lix and tender idea I'm working on, involving serial killers and necromancy.

As for my meat and potatoes stuff, Body/Life is gunna be getting a more general outline - my current way of doing it has not been helpful and Chapter Two continues to be a real thorn in my side - I'm not struggling to make these tsuchinoko work for me, I'm struggling to make the chapter funny, which is important to me cuz I want this to be a comedy. I want that so I can give some levity to the very dangerous, very foolish and very very unhinged and not okay situation Ryou is walking into, to give us a show that he's confident in his choices not only because he's knowledgeable and unique in his approach with them, but to also show he's not looking at this with the lens he probably should be. Bakura's coming along much better, but this is still a struggle. An outline is on my list.

Becaaaauuuse my tender!hanahaki outline is ALMOST DOOOONNNNEEE I'm almost ready to show it off to Tay, get some of the tweaks figured out, and start writing it in full!

But, to give a pitch, Ryou has been coughing up petals recently - which is odd, to him, because he's not in love with anybody. The fic goes through his and Bakura's endeavors to fix his illness, though more Ryou's efforts than Bakura's. The Spirit is not cooperating.

I'm REALLY excited to unveil this one - "Love, The Me That's Killing You", is the title I'm currently going with, as Ijimekko Bully is the PERFECT song for Bakura's vibes throughout it - I've been working REALLY hard on getting my skeleton in order, making sure the re-read is JUST as fun as the first, even if the twist is predictable.

Thank you for these!!!! I love talking about me~

[rzngokukyo]

hi! i love your blog!! sorry if you're busy 👉👈 but could i make a request where mitsuri finds a girl (like 4 years younger when she became a pillar after a few months) and makes her a tsuguko and introduces her to the other pillars, then after a few years they developed feelings and haven't seen each other in so long bc of missions? reader also gets taller than mitsuri bc that would be so cute 🥺 thank you and have a good day!! ❤️❤️

WLW CONTENT THATS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE BABEY!!!

~~

~~

You were absolutely filthy, covered in head to toe with bruises, blood, sweat and dirt. It was late at night as you were on your way home from a mission, a demon had caught you off guard.

“Tch!” you clicked your tonuge and ran, you were in no postion to defend yourself at the moment. You needed an opening.

Wildly looking everywhere you spotted an opening between some trees. ‘ Looks like an open field might be there.’ You thought to yourself. Making a sharp turn, you ran towards it. The demon that was chasing had suddenly sped up, noticing you were looking for a better stance.

Turning your head to gauge where the demon was, you didn’t expect it to be right on top of you. “ Fuck!” You yelled out as the monstrous creature toppled you over. It had one hand on your neck and the other high in the air, about to strike at your throat.

“Breath of Love: First Form!” Your eyes went wide as you spotted a blur of pink above the demon. “Shivers of Love!”

Everything moved in slow motion. You watched as the pink haired woman sliced the demons neck, its head rolling onto the ground a few feet away.

The woman knelt beside you, “Excuse me, are you alright? That demon looked like it could crush you!” You adjusted yourself, taking a good look at the person beside you. She had long pink braids with green tips, an S shaped sword. A light blush crept across your face as you looked her up and down. She was gorgeous.

“Y-yes. Thank you for helping me.” You tried to stand up but your right leg gave out. You yelped in pain and expected to hit the ground, but you opened your eyes as she caught you, letting your weak side rest against her frame.

“Woah now, don’t push yourself. I’ll help you to the nearest safe spot.”

The both of you walked together, wondering down a nearby path.

“Um, I never caught your name, are you with the Corps?”

“Yes!” She turned to look at you, excitment in her eyes. “ I’m Kanroji Mitsuri, the love pillar. Bice to meet you!”

Holy Shit, a pillar

“I’m y/n.. thank you again for taking the time to help.” You muttered, completely embarrassed a pillar of all people came to your rescue.

Once you reached the bottom of the path, you noticed a cabin there. Mitsuri knocked on the door and you were greeted by an older couple. “Don’t worry y/n, this is a safe place for the corps. We can rest here until morning.”

WE?

You felt your face get hot and felt a but nervous spending the night with a pillar but you didn’t protest, you were in some serious pain.

The older couple showed you both to a room but pulled you aside first, attending to your wounds. Not noticing her, Mitsuri watched from the doorway, making sure you would be completely okay.

You changed into new sleepwear as your uniforms got washed. Mitsuri laid out some sleeping bags while you two waited for food.

“It must be awkward sharing a room for the night with someone you don’t know.” She said out of nowhere. “I didn’t want to just leave you here after seeing your injuries, it’s always nice to have someone around ya know?”

You nodded in agreement. “It’s not that awkward I promise, it’s just a bit.. weird considering you’re a pillar.” Mitsuri tilted her head. “I-I mean not that it bothers me it’s just, you’re so much better than I am. Wouldn’t you rather just move on to your next place?” You placed a hand on the back of your neck and laughed nervously. Words were not your forte.

“I don’t think ranks mean anything once you’re done fighting for the night.”

The older woman brought in the food. There was a lot, bowls of rice and meat. Some soup sides, drinks. Your eyes widened at all of it. Mitsuri laughed.

“Eat whatever you like, I have a big appetite so there’ll be plenty more coming!” She dug right in and stuffed her face.

You couldn’t help but laugh, she was a messy eater.

Again she tilted her head. “Whsv fubbg?” She asked with her mouth full.

You laughed again and wiped her cheek. “You’ve got soy sauce all over yourself!”

“Mowe dow latef!”

There was a small pause followed by a burst of laughter from the both of you.

After dinner was done and you both settled into your sleeping bags there was another long pause.

“Hey y/n.. earlier you said I was better than you. What did you mean by that? Are you not comfortable in your swordsmanship?”

“Aha..” you turned away from Mitsuri. “I’ve been doubting myself a lot lately, I think I’m uncomfortable with the form I chose and want to switch but that means finding someone who’s willing to teach me.”

“Why don’t you become my tsuguko? I can teach you the Love Breath!”

You laid there stunned. “A-are you sure?”

“Of course! I’ve always wanted to pass down my knowledge!”

From then on, when Mitsuri wasn’t on a long pillar mission. You spent day in and day out training, making your body unlearn everything to make room for something new.

One day she introduced you to the other pillars. There was a huge dinner after a meeting and you got to meet another tsuguko. Her name was Kanao, she was really quiet but super nice.

As time went on the sessions lasted longer but were less frequent. Mitsuri was called out more often and suddenly so were you.

Days turned to weeks turned to a few months before you realized you hadn’t seen her. You could feel your heart hurting as you realized this was a new reality. As another month passed by without much contact with her you realized you had feelings for her. It pained you to be away from her for so long, you didn’t want to forget what she looked like,what she smelled like. You missed everything about her.

Waking up one morning you received a letter Mitsuri would be coming back go rest for a while at her home in the corps headquarters. You practically sprinted back to headquarters after your latest mission was complete. On the way to her home you stopped and picked up some ingredients to cook for her.

Outside her door you could see her crow taking a nap in the windowsill, her clothes were washed and hanging nearby to dry.

Suddenly your heart started to pound, you got nervous, palms starting to sweat. What if she doesn’t feel the same way about you? What if she found someone while out?

Before more questions can race through your mind, the door in front of you opened.

“Y/n!!” Mitsuri jumped onto you, diving face first onto your chest.

“Kanroji-san!” You wrapped your arms around her, pulling her in closer. “I’ve missed you so much.”

She rested her chin on your chest and looked up, causing you to look away blushing. “I’ve missed you too! Let’s go inside and catch up.” She looked you up and down. “It seems I’ve missed a lot seeing how much you’ve grown.”

She took your hand and pulled you inside, taking the ingredients off you and placing them on a nearby table. You walked into her kitchen, already familar with the layout of her home and started to boil water for tea.

Mitsuri placed some pillows and blankets on the floor, making lots of space for the two of you to sit and talk.

You sat down across from her, watching her every move.

“Y/n how tall are you now?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I think I’m 171cm now, it’s been a while since I’ve measured myself.” You laughed softly.

“You grew 4 inches in only a few months! Who’s been feeding you?” She grabbed onto your arm, feeling the upper muscles. “And your arms are so much more defined now! Oh geez I missed out on so much.”

Her voice seemed sad, you tried to look for answers in her eyes but she looked happy.

“I’ve only been taking care of myself, I did everything you’ve taught me. You have yourself to thank for how I turned out.” You patted her head.

A faint blush spread across the pillar’s face and she looked away. “Well I just want to make sure you’re doing okay without me, ya know? I.. care about you, a lot.”

Your body froze, you could feel the nervousness from before climb its way back through your body. Maybe you should tell her how you feel? Is now a good time?

The kettle screeching inturrupted your thoughts. “I’ll get it!” Mitsuri scrambled to get up.

“No no, you rest. I’ve got it.” You also got up, Mitsuri was too stubborn to say no so you both headed into the kitchen.

You both reached for the kettle at the same time, hands brushing against each others.

“U-uh I’ll get the cups.” You managed to squeak out before turning away quickly. You cupped your hands on your face and could feel the heat from your cheeks.

“Y/n? You okay?”

“Mhmm. Fine. I’m totally fine.”

You could feel Mitsuri press her hand on your back, “Why don’t we go sit down again, we’ll be more comfortable that way.” You trailed behind her as she led you back into her living room area.

She gently placed the kettle on a cloth after pouring you both a cup.

“So, meet anyone interesting while gone?” You asked, taking a sip.

“Hmm not really, I couldn’t stop thinking about you most of the time so it was hard meeting new people.”

You nearly spat out your tea.

“Uh huh.” You coughed, eyes watering a little. “Same here I uh guess. I was sad we couldn’t write each other more.”

“Me too! I found it hard having time to write, by the time I had a chance to sit down, I needed to use that time to recover.”

You both laughed a little.

“I missed having our sessions everyday. Even though I’m sure you want to rest, I hope you’ll watch over me the next couple days.” You smiled at her.

“Rest? Maybe a day or two but I want to spend all this time helping the both of us get better! It’ll be fun” she grabes your hands and held them.” I miss spending time with you, y/n. If I’m honest with myself.. I think I just miss you as a whole.”

That’s it, your entire face went red as you sat there speechless. “I-I umm,”

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same! I just felt dishonest not telling you how I felt.” She squeezed your hands.

You looked at her eyes and could telk she wanted to say this for a while now. You pulled her a little closer, “Kanroji-san I feel the same way. Everyday we were apart I thought about only you, I missed the nights we’d train so hard we were too sore to make it back inside so we slept under the stars. I missed cooking with you, I missed you.”

“Oh y/n!!” She lept into your lap unexpectedly causing you to fall backwards. “ I love you!”

You both laughed as you held onto her. “I love you!” You said back, cupping her face and kissing her nose.

You both laid there all afternoon, letting your tea go cold. After a while Mitsuri fell asleep on your chest, one hand around you, the other tangled in your hair.

You kissed the top of her forehead and closed your eyes, waiting for tomorrow to come.

~~

Sorry for any spelling errors, I had to type this on my phone.

[xxxcyberprincessxxx]

all the vday asks

i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

i think so. 

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

2 years and counting!

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

I’m trying to unlearn some bad behavior, but that’s all!

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

w my first one: i hate him and he hates me but we’re civilw my second one: lmao we have each other blocked on instagram and she tried to send at least two diff people to guilttrip me about breaking up w her

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

i sure hope not!

7: Have you ever cheated?

nope!

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

i’d want to be just friends with them for a while first, so we could establish some healthy communication and security in the relationship, and then i’d see what i’d feel comfy with .

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

communication!!! a relationship is nothing if you guys don’t talk to each other about your wants and needs!

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships! one time i tried to have a fling but when i was about 2 do the succ he suggested we watch sword art online and i sent him home

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

i think it can be a rly healthy thing for ppl to take a small break from being in a relationship! we all have our own burdens and issues, and sometimes we need to deal with those by ourselves, and that’s okay! 

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

lmao no

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

i regret the entirety of both my relationships previous to this one tbh? my first bf i only went out with bc we were best friends and i didn’t want to lose him, but i was not at all ready to have a boyfriend. w my girlfriend, i just...yikes lol that was a bad time

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

like 15 or 16 i guess? 

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?

i’ve only heard ppl say that when they’re being p*dophiles so like... no

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?

not rly tbh

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?

not personally, but if other ppl can, thats rly cute and i support them!

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

cheating, not respecting physical/emotional boundaries, murder probably

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

i ended my last one bc she crossed physical boundaries so like? other than that idk

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

i think so! 

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

yeah!! all of my partners have been friends! its a solid foundation for a relationship

23: How many relationships have you had?

3

24: Do you think love can last forever?

i think love starts as a feeling and stays as a choice. it doesnt always feel the same, but it grows with you, so it changes as you (and your partner/s) change!

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

its a pretty thought!

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

LMAO no way!! my mom hates my partner but i hate my mom so she can suck it

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

Don’t date someone just because you’re expected to! Wait until you’re ready!

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

of course! they’re hard as fuck, but it can work!

29: What do you notice first about another person?

their walk, how they stand, speech patterns

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

We Just Dont Know!

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

of course not! i’d be highkey hypocritical

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

yup! it sucked hella!

33: Do you want to get married one day?

i think it sounds lovely! it’s gonna take me a few years to get fully comfortable with the idea (my parents r divorced, i’ve been engaged, so it’s made me a little skittish) but i think eventually, being married would be sublime

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?

i personally wouldn’t do it, but if other ppl want to i think its rly cute

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

totes!

36: Are you still a virgin?

We Just Dont Know!

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?

Personality!

38: Do you enjoy love films?

tbh they only serve to make my heart ache

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! my partner has rose bushes all over their house and in the summer they give me roses and it’s the sweetest thing and i’ve saved all but one of them

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

my partner’s cat!

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?

they take me to an art museum, we hold hands and whisper jokes to each other. they take pictures of me while i’m not looking; i return the favor. we kiss on the bus ride home and we’re in love.

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?

yREAHBOY HOWDY HAVE I 

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?

i consider my partner a friend, so, both!

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?

if u do an xray, u find me 2 be filled with pablo neruda sonnets

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?

nah thats a stupid concept

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?

that super gay king and his boyfriend what were their names?

48: What's your favorite love song?

oh i love so many,, The Way I Am by ingrid michaelson?

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

yeah probs

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?

i’m not :D 

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?

depends on how horny i am (nice guy)

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

a little bit, ya! i think

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?

nah

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?

For me, its like? 6/10? 

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?

yeah i’m trying to work on it but im,,,, really fucking clingy

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?

i dont think so

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

No reason to consider suicide is a silly reason! Emotions are hella fucking hard to handle, and it doesn’t help when you  invalidate the people experiencing them.

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?

okay everyone fucking thinks my boyfriend tops but I’M THE TOP YOU GUYS

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

nope!

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?

I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable in one, but I think they’re a healthy way to experience love!

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?

Depends on the issue I guess? 

62: How do you define "cheating"?

If they do anything w/ romantic/sexual intent without clearing it w me first

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

Nope! Jerkin it is fun

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?

It’s capitalism but also i love roses

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?

yEAH holy shit yall i used to be so fuckin touch repulsed but now i die every time i’m not being held

#bunny mumbles

[ravenvsfox]

I know you have already done a lot of the ship posts (and they are all phenomenal and accurate af) but can you pretty please do Jesper and Wylan from six of crows/crooked kingdom? Xoxo <3 <3 I can't get enough of your writing tbh! Your such an inspiration, dude. <3 <3 <3 <3

I’m SO sorry this took so long, you’re such an absolute sweetheart and also christ I’ve never been called an inspiration before holy.. god

also heck i love wesper this is a treat

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU… 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

don’t.. do this

they’re genuinely so good neither of them would ever TRY to hurt the other, and they’re both so tender and apologetic if they ever do. I think I’m gonna have to say jesper though just because. he’s still a little stirred by his addiction (to trouble! to bringing two guns to a gun fight! to gambling! to love!) and he’s got some jealousy and sensitivity baked into him, bless him. I feel like he’d run a risk and break Wy’s heart by accident, a little bit

who is emotionally stronger?

a genuine toughie bc they’ve both survived and persevered so MUCH. I think in terms of immediate reactionary instincts, Jes is better at letting bad vibes roll right off of him. He’s made of smiles. He’s trouble and a good time rolled into a waistcoat. If you insult him he only gets stronger. Wy was raised in silk and champagne but he was raised BY an absolute monster so. he’s a very bruised peach. criticism pierces him v easily. Though in a more fundamental way, wylan has fashioned his past trauma into a shield. by the end of ck he’s building himself new emotional strength with his bare hands

who is physically stronger?

ohhh man. They’re both noodle boys. Wylan is too smart for exercise. Jesper does his fighting at a 20 metre distance from his target. Jesper is bigger than wylan but most of his size is gangly and delightful and awkward. I think jes could probably still beat wylan in a pinch, but I’m more caught up in how funny it would be to see them try to fight it out

who is more likely to break a bone? 

man I’m tempted to say jesper just bc he seems like he would be...... brittle. I think he gets into scrapes a lot. I think wylan starts to get into p frequent scrapes by nature of being the sixth crow. I think the both of them are so busy worrying about each other’s fights that they neglect their own and trip off a building or smth

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I think wylan can be a nasty piece of work when he’s pissed enough. like he may be a silk eared puppy but he’ll chew your shoes and track mud around if you forget to feed him. jesper doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body man, I think he’s a sarcasm queen and a joker but he’s definitely not mean

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think jesper’s constantly assuming he did something wrong and he sits down with wylan 100% serious like ‘babe.. im so, so sorry. I never wanted to be the sort of person who made you look sad like that, we’re past that, I truly made a promise--’ and wy would be like ‘what no I was sad bc a screw on my flute is loose and I couldn’t practice today’. but also yeah if it’s a serious fight they make up in a rush, and they laugh at themselves, and they use their energy for something better

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

here’s the thing about the crows man, they’re always sustaining minor injuries as a team and it’s a win if they live, right? All I can picture is the roar of activity when they pull off a job and they come back limping and bleeding and swearing and crowing w joy, and jes and wy take their seats opposite each other and clean wounds, kiss foreheads, smooth back sweaty curls, squeeze hands, make promises. the routine, u kno

who is in constant need of comfort? 

uhhh both of them (it’s always both my guy jot that down). Wylan has 16 years of shitty imposed self loathing to unlearn, and traumatic experiences all over him. jes has lost a lot (including his mom) and he struggles with addiction so like. yeah they both need comfort. they both wake up w the phantom feeling of a mother’s arms around their shoulders. they’ve both seen the very worst of humanity. They’re just two nervy, high stress kids trying to figure things out

who gets more jealous? 

lmao WYLAN VAN ECK did y’all read his scenes in crooked kingdom that boy is NOT SHARING. he glared real holes in kuwei’s head guys. jesper tbh is a terrible flirt and a HANDFUL and wylan is happy. to have his hands full. no one else.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

mmm nahhh

who will propose? 

u bet ur ASS it’ll be jesper. Imagine wylan’s blushing face...... he’d do it for that alone. tbh there’s probably a point in their relationship where jesper’s outrageous flirting isn’t enough to get that pretty blush from wylan like he’ll roll his eyes and shove jes in the shoulder and w/e but they have to have increasingly ridiculous conversations about kinks or w/e until that blush comes out. jesper’s like ‘dang. guess I gotta step up the romance. what’s the most romantic thing? marriage? marrying wylan? son absolutely where do i sign’

who has the most difficult parents?

lmao lm a o lmaooo Lmao LMAO lmao

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I feel like depending on the social climate of Ketterdam, hand holding might not be on the table?? especially for two criminals associated w the bastard of the barrel like idk man I can’t picture it. they don’t want to draw attention to themselves (well i mean. jes wants to. but they can’t). I think they’re all about sly glances and the most obvious smirks you’ve ever seen, and brushing shoulders!! brushing shoulders are their makeouts

who comes up for the other all the time? 

they’re always together man bf’s that blow shit up together and live together stay together so like they rarely have the opportunity to talk about each other. howEVER jesper probably mentions his boyfriend in the middle of a hand of poker w an inappropriate smile or gushes to w/e prisoner he’s breaking out of jail or makes Kaz’s day weird by trying to confide in him

who hogs the blankets? 

wylan is exhausted w luxury and jesper is a child who wants to be held so he rolls over and then over again so that wy always wakes up to a lapful of boyfriend and a roll of blankets and he has to wait for jesper’s heavy sleeper ass to arise so he can get up to pee 

who gets more sad? 

booooth -- jesper is understated sad with a side of unnerving frowns, wylan is a wobbling mouth and clenched fists. Sometimes they stay in the Wylan Van mansion and lock the doors so the maids can’t come in, and they bring the lavish decorative pillows into a heap on the carpet and feed each other sweets and rub each others backs and laugh and laugh the darkness away. wylan sketches. jesper poses. there’s scheming & kaz impressions. jesper is a storyteller and he imagines out loud what nina or inej are up to at that very minute, controlling gravity and hearts and the sea and their lives 

who is better at cheering the other up? 

see above ^^ they both go pro at the comfort olympics. Jesper is that little bit better though. He’s a sweetheart with all the right words in his pockets. He knows how to chop wylan’s dad down like the overgrown dead tree that he is. he knows how to flirt a smile onto wy’s face. he maybe lacks delicacy sometimes, but he’s so fun and wholehearted and warm that he can’t really go wrong

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this is canon y’all, jesper is a lecherous bastard and wylan is equal parts disdain and delight. he absolutely will slap a boy

who is more streetwise?

god bless wylan but he knows a hell of a lot less about the streets than jes. He’s learning fast by the end of ck, but he’s still very sheltered in a lot of ways. Jesper has a few years under his belt, and he’s.. like tbh he’s a part of a gang so. He’s seen a lot. He’s participated in a lot. He has a pretty steep list of kills, same as every other survivor out there. He’s detached from the deaths but he’s been on the other side of a lot of bullets that have crumpled people up and thrown them in the trash. He knows his business, too. He knows Ketterdam. Well. Wy knows the half of it Kaz wants him to see.

who is more wise?

Wylan is utterly brilliant and Jesper is wholeheartedly here for it. What was that line again? ‘you’re cuter when you’re smart’? Wylan can think his way out of just about anything, the world belongs to him. jsyk

who’s the shyest? 

Wylan absolutely what a sweetie. I mean a lot of it stems from unfortunate self esteem issues and a history of being burnt but a lot of it is pure soul deep candy sweet embarrassment and not knowing what to do w his own cute face. He doesn’t know how to deal w people a lot of the time. he knows sheet music & formulas. he does not know how to look at a boy with beautiful lips all curled up at him and not pass out

who boasts about the other more? 

jesper is loudmouthed usually and he’s that much more loudmouthed when he’s in love, catch him talking to anyone who will listen about wy’s stupid face 

who sits on who’s lap? 

jesper would definitely try it, don’t even test him, he would fold all his crane limbs into wylan’s lap and say ‘hello peaches’ and wylan would have to slide both of them onto the floor to escape his embarrassment. on a good day, jes’ll scoop wylan into his lap and he’ll feel quiet, for a while

[pathos-logical]

[ID: A collection of Reddit posts by u/takeyourmedsbro. They’re under r/MtF, and the first is marked as a discussion titled “To all of you ladies, from a cis man.” It reads:

I hope it isn't totally out of order for me to post here, as a man I don't want to take up your spaces so I'll try and keep this as short as possible. Tw genital mention

I have full permission from my partner to post this and she's read it all. There is a misconception that the only men a straight trans women can get with, is a chaser. It is very sad that many of you feel that way, and I'm sorry for how men treat you, but that's not how it has to be. I met my girlfriend when I was 15. She was living as a boy then and was 13. I used to push her around when we played football at school. I thought she was one of the lads. Time goes on, I was never that close to her and we lost touch. Next thing is I meet her again on a fine art course. I didn't recognise her at all and with her name change and generic surname I never made the connection. I developed quite the crush, we would go on dates and I'd sort of play them off as just hanging out with a friend. I was so giddy around her and I was terrified to tell her I liked her. One day we were going to the movies and I told myself 'today is the day I ask her to be my girlfriend, and try to kiss her' We ended up skipping the movie to go on a walk in the local forest. I held her hand and she squeezed mine - my heart was beating so damn fast. We finally kissed and it was like fireworks. I told her I liked her but she cut me off. She told me to stop talking because she needs to tell me something. Now in my mind I'm panicking thinking she's in a relationship, but she says 'l used to be a boy. I was at school with you, please don't be mad I'm so sorry I didn't tell you 'and then to my absolute horror she said 'please don't hurt me' She genuinely thought that there was a danger of me attacking her after finding out. This broke my fucking heart. I had my moment of being like wtf - mainly because I'd known this girl for almost 10 years and hadn't pieced the 2 people together - but then we kissed again, and then again and again and we kissed so much my face hurt by the end. That was 5 years ago and boy this has been a learning curve. I've only ever dated cis women before. I am 100% straight and I had to unlearn some internalized shit for maybe a day or so, until I thought what the fuck does it matter who she used to be? Damn I used to be a baby, people change. But I love her the way she is now. I love her smile I love her eyes I love her body her curves her hands her hair and you know what? I love her penis too. I love it because it's hers. and it gives her pleasure, and there isn't anything wrong with it. I don't have a fetish. I just fell in love with a woman and that means I fell in love with the whole package. I'm planning to propose to her on new years eve. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to raise kids with her and I want her to lose all of these insecurities. Just because you can't carry them, doesn't mean you won't be the mother of my children. There is hope, you're not broken or unlovable or nothing but a kink. You're a powerful woman.

The second post is titled “Update from the cis guy that proposed." It reads:

Hey ladies. I've been asked by a few of you to share an update. Here is my previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/e95hgx/to_all_of_you_ladies_from_a_cis_man/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

And here is your official soppy post warning - beware…

Soooo on exactly 00:00 new years (ok I was probably out by a couple minutes but I did try to time it) I proposed to my beautiful girlfriend (who also happens to be trans, hence why I'm posting on here) and she said YES

I don't know if I can fully articulate how happy I am. I wanted to keep it lowkey and between the 2 of us so she didn't feel any pressure, so I cooked her favourite meal ever (I would have liked to cook something fancy and elegant but honestly she would much rather eat spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread and then a loaded ice cream sundae for dessert ANY day of the week) we ate, played board games and did a competition to see who could make the best vehicle out of old egg cartons and toilet roll tubes. Then we decided to make cupcakes which were fucking vile because we forgot to add the sugar of all things. Not typical romantic evening but I felt all the love and when I dropped down on one knee she just wept. I didn't even know I had a yes at first because she was crying so much. I actually got really scared I'd freaked her out so I stood up and hugged her and said I'm sorry and she finally told me yes yes yes and explained that she was crying because it was always beyond her wildest dreams as a youngster that she would ever be able to be a wife. This is not something I can relate to, but I think I do understand, as best as i can as a cis man. We literally just held each other for a bit before we both realized she hadn't seen the ring yet! I'm not a wealthy guy at all so I was afraid she would be disappointed in my grandmothers wedding ring as her engagement ring (I will buy her a new ring for the wedding) but I did want her to have it as my grandmother always told me she wanted my future wife to wear it. Luck was on my side though people because the ring made her cry all over again, happy tears, because she said it made her feel like the fairytale she told herself as a child has finally come true. I think there maybe was something affirming about the fact that this ring was left from my grandma for me to give to the woman I want to spend my life with.

Ok I don't want to bore you all to death with the ins and outs but I haven't stopped smiling since she said yes. The fiancee (I love saying that, so exciting) has been obsessively wedding planning which is mighty convenient for me considering I have no clue on how to organize a wedding. It's like the child in her has come out to play and its very endearing. She missed out on all the typical girly activities as a child so she's making up for lost time. She ALREADY has a scrapbook for the wedding and she's already browsing dresses!

I'm sorry for being all cliche and cringey. I know its insufferable to many and I do understand. I just feel drunk in love, and i did want to update and not leave people hanging! Other than my mother, my family does not know she is trans, because frankly it's none of their business and my fiancee hasn't wanted to open up to them about that part of her life. She confided in my mother because my mother knows a transgender boy and so it came up in conversation. As far as the rest of my family are concerned, it's totally irrelevant to them and they will only ever know if she chooses to tell them. So I was wondering if incorporating rainbows anywhere in the theme at all would be too obviously lgbt pride themed? Or can I get away with some rainbow tokens and such just as a discreet acknowledgement of how far she's come? Obviously I don't want people to think of this wedding as anything other than what it is, a straight marriage between a man and a woman, so are rainbows risky? I'm just so damn proud of her and want to show that in some way. I was thinking of wearing rainbow cufflinks or something? Anyway sorry for the damn essay but I hope the new year goes well for you lovely ladies and sorry for being a cringe lord. I just can't believe I've found my queen

in MtF by takeurmedsbro

Third is another post, which reads:

Also we have decided that on the big day, I will wear pink cufflinks and she will wear either blue eye makeup or a flower, and then the theme will be that classic white sorta theme. The colours of the trans flag, thanks to your suggestions. Like so subtle that only me and her will know it means anything at all. Hopefully that will work out tastefully but we also like the pink/blue/white elements of the cake idea. I showed her some of these comments and god damn it you lok she is now exploring sooo many more ideas and concepts, I didnt think she would expand past the scrapbook, but we now have a wedding ‘mood board' of all things... takes up half the wall in our room. I proposed only 3 days ago! I love her enthusiasm but I'm finding it hard to rate all the dresses she shows me, when I cant tell the difference between any of them... a white dress is a white dress, but she says that's typical male bullshit and she’s probably right there. But she can wear a bin bag to our wedding and still look perfect so I'm not worried about which compliments her body more, but then I do want her to put a dress on and have that feeling of ‘this is my dress' and I have the feeling that could be a long process... anyway, the kindness means everything x. End ID]

Shit this got me out here cryin in the club

TERFS do not interact

[saltykingsalty]

[ r/MtF u/takeurmedsbro.

To all of you ladies , from a cis man [Discussion]

I hope it isn't totally out of order for me to post here , as a man I dont want to take up your spaces so I'll try and keep this as short as possible . Tw genital mention I have full permission from my partner to post this and she's read it all . There is a misconception that the only men a straight trans women can get with , is a chaser . It is very sad that many of you feel that way , and I'm sorry for how men treat you , but that's not how it has to be . I met my girlfriend when I was 15. She was living as a boy then and was 13. I used to push her around when we played football at school . I thought she was one of the lads . Time goes on , I was never that close to her and we lost touch . Next thing is I meet her again on a fine art course . I didnt recognise her at all and with her name change and generic surname I never made the connection . I developed quite the crush , we would go on dates and I'd sort of play them off as just hanging out with a friend . I was so giddy around her and I was terrified to tell her I liked her . One day we were going to the movies and I told myself " today is the day I ask her to be my girlfriend , and try to kiss her ' We ended up skipping the movie to go on a walk in the local forest . I held her hand and she squeezed mine - my heart was beating so damn fast . We finally kissed and it was like fireworks , I told her I liked her but she cut me off . She told me to stop talking because she needs to tell me something . Now in my mind I'm panicking thinking she's in a relationship , but she says ' I used to be a boy , I was at school with you , please dont be mad I'm so sorry I didnt tell you ' and then to my absolute horror she said ' please dont hurt me She genuinely thought that there was a danger of me attacking her after finding out . This broke my fucking heart . I had my moment of being like wtf - mainly because I'd known this girl for almost 10 years and hadn't pieced the 2 people together - but then we kissed again , and then again and again and we kissed so much my face hurt by the end . That was 5 years ago and boy this has been a learning curve . I've only ever dated cis women before , I am 100 % straight and I had to unlearn some internalized shit for maybe a day or so , until I thought what the fuck does it matter who she used to be ? Damn I used to be a baby , people change . But I love her the way she is now , I love her smile I love her eyes I love her body her curves her hands her hair and you know what ? I love her penis too . I love it because its hers , and it gives her pleasure , and there isnt anything wrong with it . I dont have a fetish , I just fell in love with a woman and that means fell in love with the whole package . I'm planning to propose to her on new years eve . I want to spend the rest of my life with her . I want to raise kids with her and I want her to lose all of these insecurities . Just because you cant carry them , doesnt mean you wont be the mother of my children . There is hope , you're not broken or unlovable or nothing but a kink . You're a powerful woman . ]

Shit this got me out here cryin in the club

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