#update: i got the job. nothing was lost with the post lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hellionhpau · 7 days

Text

Request for Help

Hey guys. In compliance with AO3's policy, I'm posting this here on my private blog for this fic. I ask that if nothing else, you read and share!

So, this is not only embarrassing but also extremely difficult and saddening on my part. Unfortunately, I don't have a chapter update for you, but I am reaching out publicly to ask for help. Please read this whole thing before you dismiss this because I am in seriously bad shape here and am rapidly running out of options.

To hear a fuller story, you're free to reach out to me personally. If nothing else, if any of you can share that around, it would be a huge help.

Here's the low down, and some of you who have been with me from the beginning know some of it. So, in short order over a span of a little over a year: covid hit, I lost my job, I lost my house, my mother got extremely sick (not with covid), my sister, her family, and I move in together to help take care of her and to financially support each other. Turns out my sister's husband is a complete asshat, and it was a very abusive home for the year I lasted there. Shortly after I moved out, my mother died, my dog died, and then my grandmother died right before Christmas. Both my mom and my grandmother were my two biggest maternal figures of my life, so you can imagine the blow. Add to it, I was just staying with a friend, was making shit money, and spiraled into a bad, bad depression.

That's why I was gone for a year lol. I tried to pick myself up and became roommates with another friend. We had grand plans to move to the city and start great lives. However, it didn't work out. Suffice to say that neither of us were who the other thought we were. It ended on friendly terms, and thankfully, we hadn't made the jump to the city or I would have been fucked, man.

Things were looking up from there, but my depression wouldn't go away. I ended up staying too long at that shit job, then moved to factory work, and now I'm working two fucking jobs day in and out. I'm burning at both ends, and it's just not enough to cover the bills I'm still paying off for those two horrible years, my mother's funeral and burial, not to mention medical bills.

Right now, I can't pay my rent. I can't afford food, and I've been struggling to get on food assistance. I can't pay my therapist or doctor. And now this month, thanks to coming to head with some of the earlier mentioned debt (ie, my mother's gravestone), I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to pay my electric and phone bill, let alone afford the gas to get to my second job. I was so, so close to getting ahead of everything, and I just can't get over that edge…

I want to make this very, very clear—this is not me soliciting in any way. That is to say, this is not in any way, shape, or form requesting payment for anything I do on here. It's just my way of trying to reach out to anyone wanting to help a dude out.

I do want you guys to know I have no plans on abandoning this fic. Just the other day, I made time to pick through chapter six, adding in an extra ghoul scene for you. Also, you guys are hilarious. I give you an awesome adventure into Muggle London with Draco sodding Malfoy, and you guys were just like "i love the ghoul!"

Don't blame ya. I love them too. Don't worry, I had originally planned on the ghoul having more scene time in this than canon. Anything creature related, you know Hellion's going to be all over it lol.

If you took the time to read all this, thank you. It's embarrassing, having to ask for help, but I'm officially at the begging strangers position. Please, please, help if you can, even if it's just a dollar or sharing this.

For anyone interested, my paypal is paypal@deanjharrison or https://www.paypal.me/deanjharrison

Or this one: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dean-and-pets-recover-financially

Thanks, you guys! I appreciate you just taking the time to read this.

#harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter au #hellion #i need help #this is not my personal profit

6 notes · View notes

dark-side-blog3 · 9 months

Note

I’ve never heard of your OCs!!! If you’re feeling it, can you tell me ab them? Like, what’s their type, what kind of yandere are they, etc. I tried to search em but nothing came up so I guess they’re from the old blog lol

-Jojo

They are from the old blog, that is right! I've still got to update my tag post I've been using for searches on there-- but I'll post that and it should make it easier to read up on them! I'll reblog some stuff too!

I have two OC's and a third bastard child I never developed past like a couple of concept posts, and their names are Cyril and Dalton!

I thought it would be funny to name the idiot character "Dalton" Because of the insult 'dolt' -> 'dolt one' -> 'Dalton'.

And Cyril is named as such: 'see, here's eel' -> 'see, e're eel' -> 'Cyril'

Dalton came first, and he is a jellyfish merman based off the pink meanie jellyfish found of the gulf of Mexico. He has translucent pink skin that can change colours depending on what he has eaten, long messy hair, human hands, and a massive skirtlike membrane at his waist that acts as the natural fleshy cover for his thousands of thin tendrils-- each loaded with extremely painful toxin.

The venom is fast acting and makes your skin slough off from chemical burn damage, and if you don't treat the stings, you could potentially die from blood loss (not the venom itself). Dalton is dumb as a sack of bricks (inspired by the fact that jellyfish don't have brains), obsessive, delusional, and sadly for you: extremely affectionate, with a touchy disposition. He'll cling to you every chance he gets.

Dalton is so stupid that he cannot feel pain-- for most merfolk, walking on land is agonizing. Dalton can't fathom this, and just continues to beach himself until he can crawl, his fragile membrane and tendrils drying out and ripping, spilling vital goop as they shift into legs. Each step would be extremely painful, but Dalton can't understand what he's feeling, or what's causing it. And because he doesn't know walking is what's causing it, he'll continue to walk, searching for his "best friends" who must have gotten lost. Dalton believes that Cyril, and you, are his best friends. And you must have gotten lost on your way to find him again. So he'll go out and find you, and everything will work out in the end.

Cyril is a smarter, yet sadistic merfolk, based off of the electric eel found in South America's Amazon River and Oronocio basin. Cyril, unlike Dalton, is a freshwater merfolk, and is capable of being drowned in the brackish water Dalton prefers. And unlike Dalton, Cyril can comprehend the pain in drowning. As well as the pain in being stung by venomous tendrils, and walking. Cyril has chronic pain (as most merfolk do). If he can avoid walking, he will.

He has long, greasy black hair-- washing it does him no good, as getting wet just turns his body back into his natural form, which causes him to secrete slick mucus. His skin is opaque, unlike a jellymer. If he doesn't show you his true form, you might just assume he's a lazy but bougie guy, adorned in gold jewelry he's stolen from other's homes before having to flee the scene. Despite his inactivity, Cyrils' body is on the leaner side due to his high metabolism. He has no visible muscle, but who really needs that when you're an ambush predator that can stun others anyways?

Cyril has worked many odd jobs that helped him live a more lavish life than just hunting and eating whatever got close enough to the river bank. He's acquired a taste for grapes, sliced and microwaved. Any hot fruit would do, but grapes are his favourite. This has become an integral part of his lore, because once Cyril learns of fruit, and then heating the fruit up, and all the devices you can use to heat food up (not just fruit, though he thinks its the height of luxury), and where those devices are stored... It's how Cyril ends up breaking into his darling's home in the first place. They have shelter, water, and all sorts of devices with which to make hot meals. And he needs for this to be perfect is someone who he can force to fetch him things from other rooms once he finds the couch.

He probably doesn't even like you at first. You're just someone he's bluffing out of his ass to let stay here. Cyril will use whatever tactics needed to make you let him stay. He'll go the pity route-- he's a poor misunderstood man, kicked out of housing, turned down everywhere because people don't agree with his life choices... He just wanted to crash here for the night, he didn't know you were here, he thought you were on vacation and he could squat here.

If that doesn't work, he'll resort to threats. He doesn't want to hurt you, he wants to mind his own business here, but if you call for help or tell anyone he's here against your will, he will kill them and you, before eating you. As much as it pains him to walk, he'll trudge over to your bathroom with you in tow, to show you his transformation in your shower/tub. He's a dangerous monster, and you don't know what he can do! His long tail wraps around you, slime secreted from his skin soaking through your clothes, constricting your ribs as he slowly crushes you, before you get hit with a painful shock-- knocking you to the ground and convulsing with painful spasms. Life for you will be easier if you just do what he says. It's not like he's asking for much anyways.

And at first, he's not. He's just asking you to fetch him some food every now and again, or to refill the cup he's been using for water. To buy him a laptop so he can work from home-- this way he'll pay for his own food, and you're not against that are you? Unless you like him mooching off your budget.

Cyril slowly gets more possessive as time goes on. It's not that he likes you; he likes your things, and he likes making you serve him, and he likes hurting you when you do something wrong. That's completely different than liking you. And you were three hours late coming home the other day. Cyril had to get himself a glass of water. Scandalous.

And while he thinks of it, he's not really a good threat if you start thinking you can stay out of the house, and avoid him. How is he supposed to hurt you if you're not around?

He should add a new rule: You have to start staying home with him more, and you have to be in the same room. And if you don't... Then he's going to start breaking your things, changing your password on everything, texting everyone your compromising photos and destroying relationships...

And if you refuse to come home... Then he's just going to have to get up and go hunt you down. You may have forgotten he can actually walk from how little he does it, but if need be he can track you down to the ends of the earth. Eel merfolk have a heightened sense of smell, so Cyril can track you down.

Dalton may stumble upon either you or Cyril one day-- a terrible mix of fate, because the idiot has just been wandering following Cyril, and you know Cyril, which means you're going to all be best friends.

Dalton doesn't mind you doing your own thing, he just wants to watch. He follows you everywhere, forcing himself through doors that you'd closed until they bust down so he can watch whatever you're doing, holding your hand, a grip on your legs, or resting his chin on your shoulder. If you leave the house before he can know where you are, there's a chance he'll go out to look for you-- you must have gotten lost again!

But if he has faith you'll come back, then Dalton will spend his days exploring your home. What happens when he sticks his hand or face in your oven? In the freezer? Through the window? What if he puts your sheets in his mouth? What does your soap smell like? Taste like? Dalton wants to know. And he'll find out everything about you.

Including you. Dalton is clingy, but he's exceptionally touchy. It's not enough to have you next to him, he needs to constantly touch you. Holding your hand is a large part of his day. But his fingers will find their way to your gums to inspect your blunt teeth and bumps on your tongue. Your eyebrows. Dalton opens your eyes with his fingers as he stares at how your pupils shrink and grow in response to light or the air he blows onto them. Bending your fingers and legs as far back as they can. He doesn't mean to hurt you, Dalton is just curious.

Dalton and Cyril can maintain human forms if they stay dry, but if they get significantly wet, their body shifts back into their true forms. A full shower will have Cyril a writhing mass of a slimy tail. And getting caught in a thunderstorm will have Dalton crawling around, ripping his fragile bell membrane, ripping out his tendrils. And while Cyril can intentionally use his ability to shock you regardless of if he's in his true form or not, Dalton's tendrils are only a danger to you if he's soaked and in his true form... Something he rarely thinks to do. All he cares about is following his favourite people around and being close to them. But if Dalton ever gets in a body of water and you're in arms reach, he will drag you into the water, wrapping his tendrils around you, the pain making you pass out in the bloody water...

When you wake up, perched on top of his bell membrane, Dalton apologizes-- he didn't mean to hurt you! He just wanted to swim with you! He doesn't even know how you got hurt! Maybe you just need to be held tighter? A cracked rib is a small price to pay if it keeps you awake, and in his mind, happy.

As far as merfolk go, they're both disasters. As far as yandere's go, they're completely useless. You'd be better off with literal leeches than these two bleeding you dry.

#keep in mind my rules for how monster biology work may be different than other established canon. So like how I see cyril working is #not how the tweels from twst work. they aren't displayed to experience chronic pain. But I wanted one of my characters to have chronic pain #yandere mermaid #yandere merfolk #cyril my oc #dalton my oc #my writing!#yandere exophilia #jojo anon

7 notes · View notes

four-loose-screws · 1 year

Text

Blog Update 2023.5.31

Hey all, school's out where I'm at so it's summer to me, and I've got a grab bag of both good and bad news as it relates to my translations & blog output.

Now, people generally choose to take bad news first, but I think hearing the good news first in this scenario balances out the bad news very well. Don't panic, it's nothing extreme - I myself am doing all-around fine, the details of my life nowadays just slow down my blogging, and I can't pump out the 2-3 posts a week I used to maintain when my previous job was less demanding.

Good news: Summer means I usually get a guaranteed free 30 mins a day in front of a computer to do blog work, between work's end and day care pick-up. During the school year, I had to get my kiddo off the school bus the moment my work day ended. I swear I'm not being a neglectful parent! She just gets mad if I pick her up too early and she can't participate in end-of-the-day outside playtime, lol.

This means I will be going through my tumblr asks ASAP! I don't care how long an ask has gone unanswered, I will be addressing it in full. I will be caught up by the fall, dang it.

Bad news: The new staff on my direct team at work did not work out, so I'll still be picking up a lot of extra slack, and I still won't have time to sneak translating into the work day any time soon. Their position has unreasonable expectations considering the number of people in the position, so what can I do?

This means I will not be picking back up any projects beyond the 1 FE7 novel translation. Regular posts you can expect will only be the novel translations, and answers to tumblr asks. When I get a really lucky moment, I'll continue to push through the last 2 volumes of the FE4 manga!

I've always been really torn about my job - I don't use Japanese, and it's just a bit more work than I'd like, ever since last year and my direct team lost full staffing. But it's got enough upsides that I won't risk finding something new. Grass is always greener on the other side, and stuff like that.

Thanks for continuing to read as always!! I love what I do here, so I'll always be searching for more time to translate!

7 notes · View notes

artsyunderstudy · 2 years

Photo

I measure my weeks in WIP Wednesdays and Six Sentence Sundays now, people. Hope everyone’s having a lovely week.

(Posting early because this whole day is going to be a shit show, I’m sure of it.)

Chapter 7 of The Mirrors that Hold Us is going up on Friday as planned, and it’s looking pretty damn good for Chapter 8 going up as scheduled as well. I was worried, because my job has been absolutely killer recently. It got obscenely busy, and before when I started writing this, it was decidedly not. So basically, lesson learned. But hey, deadlines keep me honest. And I’m actually terrible at self-motivation, like really truly I have none, but apparently I set an update schedule for myself for fanfiction and my brain will NOT ALLOW TARDINESS.

Anyway, anyway. We are approaching the end of this angst fest. The angst train is approaching the happy ending station (God. Dirty.). I am part of the way through Chapter 8, but in comparison to ... I dunno, every other chapter of this fic, it’s pretty damn straightforward. So probably it’ll get writ pretty quick.

So yay! Again, all this barring @j-nipper-95 reading my stuff and being like, yep, this is Hot Garbage TM and we need to start all over. (Which hasn’t happened yet, but I mean, there’s a first time for everything.)

Lordt. I am chatty. Fun news, though, I do have another chaptered fic in mind once this is done, but it’ll be a while before we start seeing too much of that. I’m taking a break so I can do more draws for a while. But this New Thing doesn’t have any MCD (sorry and also not sorry? depending on your preferences. sorry @urban-sith LOL) so it will be at least 20% less angsty for that reason alone. But, as I have assured Jess, my brain loves to make situations as ridiculously dramatic as possible and so who flippin knows. It does have ample opportunity to be a tear-jerker. We’ll see how I feel.

All that said. Finally, the thing you’re really interested in. Bits from 7. Baz POV.

“I want to kiss you,” he says. It’s low, and rough, and full of the same desire.

All I can do is swallow. Now I’m the one lost for words.

“I always want to kiss you.”

I don’t know why it makes me laugh. It’s not funny, in fact nothing about what I’m feeling right now is funny. I feel this pit in the centre of me, the one that was hollowed out the night I lost him. I feel like I’m about to fall off the edge of something. His breath is coming out in short puffs, and mine is nearly there with him.

“Why are you saying this?” I ask, and I don’t know why I do that either. I don’t want him to stop.

“Because I can’t kiss you,” he says, “and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like everything is ending, Baz. This is ending, and I’m just trying to hang on.”

“This isn’t ending,” I say sharply.

“How can it not?”

Spoiler alert, this shit is definitely Ending.

Also if you haven’t read What’s Left by @cutestkilla yet please do yourself a favor and do it. It’s so good, and it’s finishing up soon as well. Please don’t let the MCD scare you away, it’s so good. Amazing characterization, so smart, SO smart. I want to marry that fic, and it deserves all the love. Lil fic rec from me. Kbye.

Tags and hellos for @whatevertheweather @palimpsessed @captain-aralias @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @johnwgrey @takitalks @stardustasincocaine @tea-brigade @bazzybelle @ileadacharmedlife @aristocratic-otter @ivelovedhimthroughworse @urban-sith @mostlymaudlin @fatalfangirl @facewithoutheart @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @basiltonbutliketheherb @letraspal

#wip wednesday #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz fic

44 notes · View notes

thedeviljudges · 2 years

Note

I'm that anon who sent that tdj ask.😅 (This one is more detailed and updated than the previous one)

I was just talking about Gaon's parents house. Actually I don't think Gaon's apartment was his parents house at all. Because,

1) The apartment is in the slums. I don't think Gaon's parents were that poor or liked to have a house in slums. (I'm not looking down on slums. But I really don't think Gaon's parents were fond of the idea of having a house in a that kind of atmosphere)

2) I think they had their house in upstairs of their little restaurant. Because I've seen that kind of things a lot. (This is just my opinion lol. Just a silly one I guess)

3) The apartment is small. It's not enough for 3 people. Only one room is there (and it's not even a proper room)

The other thing I'm wondering is, where Gaon stayed after his parents death? I mean, if they lost everything, according to my silly logic, they lost their house too. So where Gaon stayed after that? I thought about that place being a orphanage because he was 16 and still a minor without a guardian. I don't think he stayed with Soohyun either. Not his relatives too (maybe he did? There's a possibility) not Min Jungho either. Because I don't think he met Min Jungho right after his parents death. (or did he? I don't exactly remember at what age Gaon met that professor) So I'm just assuming that he stayed at least some time in an orphanage or maybe he was wandering in slums (but then how did he go to school? I'm not familiar with how people wandering slums go to school)

I also think Gaon did a lot of part time jobs (this one sounds obvious right?) And earned some money, then rented that apartment. Or maybe he bought it after few years.

What do you think? Is there any possibility of happening these things? And if you have any different scenarios, please tell me (only if you don't mind) because I'd love to know more and more about what others think about this drama.

This is what I sent in the previous ask. (But this ask is more detailed than the previous one) I just finished the drama recently and got so curious about Gaon's story. I know we got what happened to him, how he coped with that (by rebelling). But we didn't got how he suffered. He's such an interesting character. No matter how many things I assume that happened to him in the past, I never get tired..I'm not into kdramas either. The devil judge is my second kdrama. Maybe that's why I'm so curious about everything? Idk. But honestly, I want to know more about Yohan and Gaon and the whole drama itself. I'm just afraid that it will become a obsession. But can't let go of them.

And I searched about fics for this series and found that there are more than 500 fics. I don't think I'll be able to read all of them. But can you recommend me some good ones. Idc about the trope as long as it's good.

Sorry for this long ask. I'm just happy that I've found your blog. It's so interesting and love your url too. I should find more posts about tdj so that I can understand more.

Feel free to ignore this. It was all my assuming, nothing more. Only tdj writer knows everything lol.

To answer your question about whether gaon’s house was the one he grew up in with his parents—it’s not. In the scene with soohyun talking about him not wanting to move out, he says, “it’s the only place that reminds me of my parents.”

So to address each part:

I don’t think they grew up that poor but more than likely, lower middle class/middle class. Yohan mentions that gaon’s father lost his fortune to a con-artist. Now fortune is relative to who’s talking, so that could mean a life savings and that number means different things to different people. Regardless, it could also be possible that they moved to the area gaon now resides in after they lost everything.

I do love the idea that their restaurant and house was connected. You can tell that food is a huge part of gaon’s life. It’s the way he connects with people (and generally, that’s how it is in most cultures, too). His parents clearly loved food enough to open a restaurant and teach gaon how to cook well.

Relates back to what is said in the show in ep. 1, that gaon’s current residence is not where he grew up.

As far as where gaon stayed after his parents died, is really anyone’s guess. I was going to suggest maybe min Jungho as a friend of gaon’s parents, but I actually used a translate app to see if there was any reference to him in his character description in the script books. So actually, min jungho met gaon directly after his parents died. He served as a lawyer for the underprivileged.

Also, I do find it very interesting that the translation mentions him being hot-tempered??? Idk if anyone wants to translate the original, just let me know.

But anyway, it’s more than likely gaon ended up at an orphanage or temporary housing of some kind. There’s no reference to when he started working and the time between then and getting into law school so it’s fandom interpretation. So it’s highly plausible, as you suggest, that gaon worked until he saved up for his place and put himself through law school. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if somehow, some way, min jungho got involved in paying (through Sunah?) for his schooling, especially if they both planned to use him the day he graduated.

For fics, I do have a fic rec tag!!! You can find it here: https://thedeviljudges.tumblr.com/tagged/the%20devil%20judge%20fics

Also anything by @themostglorioushour, @godotismissingx, @technitango, or anyone i've added to that tag. i know im missing ppl bc idk their tumblr handles. 😭😭 i'm not good at connecting social handles with ao3 handles.

#x #the devil judge

9 notes · View notes

selfish-thunder · 7 days

Text

Request for Help

Hey guys. To remain compliant with AO3's policy terms and to keep them, me, or my fic from any trouble, I'm posting on here about this.

To hear a fuller story, you're free to reach out to me personally. If nothing else, if any of you can share that around, it would be a huge help.

For anyone interested, my paypal is paypal@deanjharrison or https://www.paypal.me/deanjharrison

Or this one: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dean-and-pets-recover-financially

Thanks, you guys! I appreciate you just taking the time to read this.

#hp fandom #harry potter #harry potter fandom #hellion #not for profit #for food and bills bro

0 notes

evan-algore · 1 year

Text

I haven't been active on any pro Ana anything in a while.

I haven't gotten diagnosed with any ED as of now (if I were to self-diagnose; it'd be EDNOS/OSFED) though I'm finally talking about it in therapy.

I haven't acted in any ED related behaviors in a while and the intrusive thoughts are near non existent. It's been almost a year since I've stressed over my meals and I've lost weight from it. Ironically, I expected this. (See; EDNOS/OSFED)

From 10y/o to 19y/o, I stayed between 147lbs and 130lbs despite destroying my digestive system and heart trying to be 118.13lbs (BMI of 18.5) or less. My eating disorder had been such a central part of my adolescence.

I don't know how, but around 2020, I guess I just had bigger fish to fry than my body, or maybe not having lost any real weight over a decade disillusioned me. Mentally; I was at my worst over quarantine and still kinda since so its primarily due to that. Just a temporary shifting of tides realistically.

These days, I struggle to remember the calorie counts of this, that, and the other thing I used to have memorized like gospel. I've been working as a cook at a restaurant for almost 2 years and find myself being able to sample the foods I make without anxiety.

I still had a lot of anxiety when I started the job but it feels like forever ago now.

I'm officially underweight as of a couple days ago. I put on a few gw cloths and I feel nothing. Not gratification nor shame. More like casual acceptance. (I think it was my 3rd gw that was 118.13. I remember it was my ugw up until I was 14y/o)

My mental health is still ass but the personification of ana in my head has since taken on a far more realistic and accommodating character personality.

I've reverted back to my old eating habits in which I easily forget to eat and never seem to be hungry anyway. It always bothered me how this went out the window when I started trying to restrict. (Again, see my assumption on EDNOS/OSFED lol)

Oily and greasy foods have always made me nauseous so that hasn't changed but, otherwise, I have no fear foods anymore. Milk was a fear food but I find myself drinking it as a meal replacement when I don't have an appetite or otherwise can't stomach solid food.

I've finally mentioned it in therapy but, all things considered, it's a low priority. There's still a risk of it coming back (I know that ed's can't just get up and walk away) so it will be addressed soon. It's kinda nice not having to deal with it so I want to make sure it stays that way. It's distressing how much of my day and life revolved around it.

I never expected to be in this position. I don't know how to feel. I was always terrified of being taken off my medication once I got diagnosed with an ed and I'm still terrified of that happening now (I've been taken off them before; long story short, an ed would be the least of my problems). I can only hope I can prove to my doctor's that I'm presently well enough to stay on my regiment and maybe being an adult will allow me more influence on that decision. I may be required to gain weight for that and another reason anyway so even my cw is likely temporary. Regaining the weight may summon my ed back into existence but time will tell.

Time will tell.

I figured I'd post some kind of update even though I didn't get much interaction on this account when I was active. The fact that this account still exists keeps popping up into memory and it feels weird to just leave it as is.

I just changed my bio from; "Male-19-cw:130lbs-hw:152-lw:128-hight: suffer.__I'm mostly posting memes (like my last two deactivated accounts lol) and not much else. I'm also five foot seven lol. I'm not that insane."

Throughout this, I did gain a lot of experience about how ed's tend to work. I'll end this with some advice that made it a little easier to live;

----If the alternative is a feeding tube, just eat something. If it works to threaten your anxiety with a 2k+ calorie feeding tube being shoved down your nose if it doesn't let you eat a can of tuna, do it.

----Eat or drink dairy before purging to neutralize the stomach acid and prevent stomach ulcers and tooth decay.

----Keep safe foods on hand when you can in case the anemia or protein deficiency becomes impossible to ignore.

----However much you'll eat that day, always make sure to eat after a workout, even if it's a small amount.

----Keep some kind of emergency kit somewhere you can reach in the event you can't physically get out of bed or get sick beyond management. (I kept aspirin, vitamins, tuna packets/protein bar, water, and an electric heating pad)

---- Otherwise, have an emergency plan if things go wrong. You know your health and you ed better than anyone else, take advantage of that for the sake of your life.

Listen to your body and take care of it for the long term.

Don't let your ed out-live you.

I don't know exactly what's going on with me or why it is the way it is so please don't think you can do the same one day; I still remember very vividly how powerless I really was to my ed when it was at it's prime.

Stay safe out there. I love y'all.

0 notes

talesalexandria · 1 year

Text

The Drag Freakshow and Delayed Chapter Updates (personal)

Hello everyone,

I apologize if this is a low-energy post, I have a couple of updates and not all are good, regrettably.

First and foremost, yesterday was The Drag Freakshow and I had a blast! Drag isn't quite my thing, but there were so many fun people there and we were able to make a few sales! I even took part in a dance competition where I was tipped for my flustered performance, even though I lost, lol.

I suppose now comes the bad news. My spouse (they/them) and I are facing eviction at the end of the month. Because of our current living situation, our landlord will re-run an income check before our lease renews in April. My spouse just left an abusive work environment a month ago and is still looking for a job, while I haven't made a profit on my business yet (for context, I didn't make up my vendor fee at either the Rave'n Ball or The Drag Freakshow). So we're fully anticipating being kicked out of our home in two weeks.

If the way I depict parental figures in my story was any indicator (discounting Brighid; I NEEDED some semblance of love and acceptance from a family member) neither my spouse nor I have a good support network, especially a local one. Even if we got along with our folks, they all live in "Gay/Trans Panic Defense" states, so it'd hardly be safe, nor would we be able to get the medical treatment we need.

The vendor manager I've been working with has been very kind and helpful. She knows a few people who are looking for roommates in the Greater Denver Area and understands our living/financial needs. Nothing has come of it yet, but at this point, it's more or less our only option while we try to figure out income.

Needless to say, all this has been very distracting and has hardly let me get in a mindset to write or even edit the last few days (same with my spouse/editor). I have so much I want to work on, but I just feel paralyzed by fear and doubt.

I guess I can close out this update with a little good news. Next month, I'm signed up for two more events in Denver: the Kinky Circus @ Tracks and High Tea @ Ant Life (https://imgur.com/a/xxj5BTO).

Kinky Circus is a BDSM-themed event that utilizes all three rooms at Tracks and is supposed to have 1000+ people attending (unlike the Rave'n Ball and The Drag Freakshow. The former was goth-themed and only utilized two rooms, so only about 200 people attended; the latter was drag-themed and was at a brewery, so at most 100 people attended), so I'm really hoping this is a better event for us.

High Tea is a cannabis event with open smoking, so even though it's not quite my market (while the effects of demon pheromones in my universe are somewhat based upon the effects of antianxiety meds/cannabis, they're hardly the same), I'm hoping the nature of people attending means their wallets will be a little more open.

I also now have a lead on two more stores that might want to sell my books. Both are adult stores of some nature, so, with any luck once I know more and get in contact with them, I'll have four local stores that stock my books.

None of those events changes what we're facing, unfortunately, especially since the Second Edit isn't ready for bookstore shelves yet (and probably won't be until my spouse and I can figure out where we're living next month). I suppose this is as good a time as any to plug my Patreon, SubscribeStar, OnlyFans (not that there's much on there, dysphoria hasn't made it easy), and Tumblr. I also have my GoFundMe back up, and I have a website set up for online orders and donations, TalesofAlexandria.net (it's very basic right now, I'm not really in a mindset for web design; I hope you understand).

Until next time, hopefully with more uplifting news.

With love, Alexandria

#support

0 notes

yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

Text

@butterfly-mochi Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh

Universe Reversal 2

Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)

Zhongli the F2P

The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.

So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.

He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.

This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.

He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.

He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).

Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).

He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.

Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.

Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.

Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.

On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.

“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”

Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message

Childe The Whaler

This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.

How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.

And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.

The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.

At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*

He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-

Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.

Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.

Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.

His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).

Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha

Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.

“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”

Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...

Ganyu the Employed

Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.

How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!

Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!

Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.

During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.

The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.

She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.

Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.

Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”

Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho

Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.

At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.

Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.

When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.

“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”

Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...

so enjoyable...

@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #ganyu x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact childe #genshin impact ganyu #exile.circlet #exile.flower #sojourner specials #reeeeeeeeee #gender neutral

1K notes · View notes

gutosimmer · 3 years

Text

lol I'm just gonna post my Early Strangetown stuff here.

~Welcome To Early Strangetown~

I've always liked the idea of a Early Pleasantview, and i thought it was a real thing, and guess what? There isn't one for download! Well... Not that I know of. So In case if there was, I decided to make a Early Strangetown, that Is 20 years before Strangetown starts (approximately), and Is loosely based In the 80´s, at least I tried to recreate an 80´s vibe from a person that didn't experience the 1980´s.

This Is my first custom Neighborhood, so be nice to me lol. If you got any feedback or question feel free to talk to me!

A big reminder! I have the Ultimate Collection, so all EPs and SPs are required for the neighborhood.

*Edit 04.23*: I've made some corrections to the hood including, giving jobs (some Sims had the memory of the job, but were unemployed) , fixing grades, and gender preferences! Also fixed some text that was misspelled lol! ( and giving bios to the sims that I forgot to give oops! )

*Edit 07.22*: Now I updated the download link! Because this new file doesn't have any stealth hoods attached, because I'm making a sub-hood version of Early Strangetown as a shopping district, I'm just keeping you updated cause If you don't have clean stealth hoods, you will have all of those bin families from the EP's

*Edit 11.06*: Another update, mostly correcting the biographies for the sims, like typos and bad grammar. And fixed the apartment that the Loste family lives.

DOWNLOAD: Early_Strangetown

ALT_Early_Strangetown

CC NEEDED: SIMS 2 STORE, PREORDER, MISC ITEMS

Just to clarify! The maxis match version, means that the oldest parents in each family got their original face from Strangetown, and their children are genetically correct, with their facial structures matching their parents.

I hope this helps! But if you're still confused, you can message me, no problem! I'll try my best to explain lol

EARLY STRANGETOWN AS SHOPPING DISTRICT:

DOWNLOAD: Early_Strangetown_SUBHOOD

Alt_Early_Strangetown_SUBHOOD

This Is a subhood version of the neighborhood, as a shopping district (OFB) you are going to put the neighborhood In this directory:

UC : C:\Program Files\Origin Games\The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection\Best of Business\EP3\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate

Non-UC : C:\Program Files\EA GAMES\The Sims 2 Open For Business\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate

~Neighborhood Description~

Knowledge-seeking Sims move to Strangetown to find the truth. Do aliens live among us? Do Sims die mysteriously here? And is the rumor true that a woman has secretly disappeared in this town? In Strangetown, nothing is as it seems.

~Now on with the info~

I've renovated the residential lots, except 2 Cover Up Road, that's too iconic to renovate lol. And the community lots have not been changed.

About the families, they are just the parents of the premades, and the premades themselves. I´ve recreated their faces, which means that the faces are custom.

But I also included a Alt Hood, for the maxis match version of their faces (I extracted the facial structure of the premades parents from the @meetmetotheriver clean template of Strangetown, thanks to @strangetomato we have no corrupted faces!).

The hood comes with:

10 Families (The Muenda family, Nigmos, Specter, Curious, Grunt, Vandermorgan, Loste, Salamis, Loner.);

2 Families In the bin (Smith and Beaker);

9 Inhabited Residential lots;

3 Uninhabited Residential lots;

1 Apartment;

2 Community lots;

20 Adult Townies;

5 Townie Children

5 Teen Townies + 1 JOYFULL surprise!

I've made the all the sims genetically correct (through CAS). And made some genetic changes to fit the sims better, for exemple, Circe's father, his hair genetics is originally black, but i made it red, because i couldn't see Circe without her lovely red hair!

And i've given some of the sims Secondary Aspiration, just to fit the story, for example, A.P. and Jacqueline Vandermorgan, although they are Family sims, i gave them Secondary Popularity and Fortune (respectively) to fit their personal Bio.

And final thing i changed! The ages! I had to tweak some of the ages to kinda make sense, at least In my head. Like, basing of Olive's memories, at this point in the Hood, Lyla would already be dead, so i changed the time of the events, so that all of the sims would be In the same-ish stage of their life.

Here you can see the stories for the playable families!

#strangetown #sims 2 #ts2 #ts2 hood #sims 2 hood #s2download #sims 2 strangetown #earlystrangetown #sims 2 premades #ts2 premades #early strangetown

438 notes · View notes

anischa22 · 3 years

Text

Meet the Butler! Rio Ortiz 🐶

After Sariel, here's the next suitor :

MC's closet friend plus her butler during her time as Belle

Arm of coat : Beagle

First impression of him : he's kinda cute and cheerful ... Wait ... unrequited love? Wow this can be very interesting!

His voice actor is Mineta Hiromu, who is also the host for Ikepri live show and stage actor for Rio

He's the first man to appear in the story, claimed to have just left his new job with the reason "just want to devote his life to MC."

MC say, 3 years ago, he was found by MC lying unconscious on the ground in rainy day. Rio lost his memory, but he is grateful to MC who saved him. Rio really devoted his life to her. And maybe bc they've been together for a long time, Rio fell in love with MC.

Who doesn't fall in love with a girl that kind and beautiful as MC? The Princes who have only known MC for a month already can fall in love with her, then what about Rio who has been with her for 3 years!?

Sadly, Mc only saw Rio as a friend. Rio, who is always outspoken about his feelings, is not taken seriously by MC. Even though it's sad, Rio still stand by her side. He values MC happiness more than anything

When MC become the Belle, Rio also become her personal butler. At first he looks like an ordinary butler, but in some people's views, Rio can be more dangerous than that

The cheerful Rio will be different if someone dare to hurts MC. And he doesn't care who it is, including the princes. Nokto had experienced it😅 Ah, i also remembered there's a group of men who tried to annoy MC then after they run, Rio secretly .... 😌

So Rio is sort of yandere boy here with no heterochromia lol. I guess MC doesn't aware since she only sees Rio as a harmless person. Although he really loves MC, Rio always accepts the fact that MC loves someone else. Mc's happiness is his happiness, so he will support their relationship. Man, this is the saddest part :') I can't imagine being in Rio's position, 3 years of having crush and she's/he's right in front of you, but in fact the person you like is someone else's mate ( ；∀；) dude, hang in there, let me hug you (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

This remind me of Inuchiyo or Comte. But Rio is different case since he has repeatedly confessed his love! In comics or dramas, Rio will be said to have 'second male lead syndrome'. Many fans will choose him as a nice person and really loves MC than MLs which is more difficult to reach, but yeah that will never happen :')

At least let me shout to MC "don't you see him!? Don't you see him that is always near you!?" 🤧

Even the townspeople say (this is Clavis when he searching more info about MC) that no one knows MC better than Rio (Rio just like a final boss lol). As a loyal dog, ofc Rio will 'growl' when anyone wants to know about MC through him, moreover is Clavis who asks that

Rio was still shrouded in mystery. Maybe it's because he lost his memory so MC never brought up his origins. What confuses me quite a bit is Rio's skill, one of them he can be MC partner when she learns to dance, Rio have the same knowledge as what MC learn, he's good at fighting and he's also quick at grasped the situation. I mean, he's literally not an ordinary person here 😶

There's a possibility that Rio has got his memory but he doesn't want to tell it. Because on Nokto's route, Rio looks reluctant to be in Benitoite even though he himself wants to accompany MC there. Then now comes the 1st prince of Benitoite, Silvio, who has a dog crest like Rio 👀

Could Rio be the lost prince? The physical resemblance between siblings doesn't seem to apply in this game lol so there's a possibility about this

Rio is not recommended to anyone who doesn't like yanderes type or a chatty one like him. I'm the example 🤣

The person who is closest to Rio is Luke. They immediately became close friends in court (and maybe because of many similarities between them too). In Chevalier's route, they once wanted to break through the opposing army to save MC who've being kidnapped lol. Nokto also has a quite unique relationship with Rio. They feel the same sync as people who cover their true face. Don't forget Rio's boss too, Sariel, who is considered a very nice boss by Rio (Sariel frowns hearing this). Isn't he afraid of Sariel? Oh of course! But surely he's even more scared if he has to imagine his life without MC Ó╭╮Ò

For the others, Rio get along well with them. And they also see Rio as " a loyal dog who can talk about his master all day long" lol Rio respect them too as long as they being nice to mc

And that's the last for now! I'll updated after get more info about the new 3 princes ✨

Then, maybe I'll just back posting memes🤔 I actually wanted to post my art (I'm not sure it can be called as art) but nothing ever finished 😅

Oh yeah i just remembered! After you pick the suitor story, you have to full the romantic&dramatic bar (I forget what it's called, but is clearly similar to the system in ikesen) in order to read the epilogue. So you have to choose the correct answer to get the bar full, unless you have the items!

For now there is only the jp walkthrough, but it's very easy to follow.

Alright, Please enjoy Ikemen Prince wholeheartedly!

#ikemen prince #ikepri #rio ortiz #ikepri rio

114 notes · View notes

mimibtsghost7 · 3 years

Note

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost.

funny enough:

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life.

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol).

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well .. guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me?

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right:

Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me:

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first.

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony.

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them? You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that?

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner.

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever.

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it: a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left. As for me @hobisbeautifulass you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

#Anonymous #hobisbeautifulass #don't mind the typos as I wrote this in one go #just because I am someone who do not punch back when someone hit me do not mean I will stand nicely when you touch my people #anyway~ bye~#mimibtsghost

131 notes · View notes