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ohhcinnybuns · 3 months ago

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Describe love to someone who only knows pain. To someone who feels most alive in the spring when the ice finally thaws and the flowers are in full-bloom again. When the animals awaken, and love to him is being surrounded by creatures who cannot respond, but they listen.

Describe what love is like when he does not receive it from his own mother and cannot fathom loving what's left of himself. Children know what it's like to receive love from their parents, but to him it's another word for an emotion that theoretically exists, but is not within reach. (and make it super snowzai coded 👀)

So this is love… (Prince Chuuya x Snow White! Dazai, ~1.6k)

“Wanna know a secret? You promise not to tell?” Dazai says with a smile as a taupe bunny hops into his lap. It burrows into the silk of his sapphire dress adorned with swirling ivory patterns and lace, curling into it like a nest. Dazai chuckles, slender fingers stroking the animal's fur from the top of its head to the bridge of its nose.

A few more rabbits surround him, nibbling on weeds as they give the brunette their attention, noses twitching as if to say, “Go on.” His silent audience is curious about his thoughts and eagerly awaits what is on his mind. He beams.

“So you really want to know, hm?” he teases the creatures playfully, watching as the bunnies twitch their ears in agreement. They hop closer, ready to hear the new secret the human tells in the privacy of the woods. They’ve listened to many before, tiny hopping diaries of his spoken feelings.

Dazai giggles, lowering his wooly hood and resting his arms behind his head like comfortable pillows. He leans against the trunk of a tall pine tree with a dreamy sigh and faraway gaze, lost in the thoughts that recycle endlessly from dusk to dawn.

“Lately, I think… I don’t think… I want to die anymore,” he mumbles, afraid that the wind will carry the weight of his words to unwanted ears.

He inhales the fresh scent of dew and pine to ground himself, fingers twitching as if that admission is a secret meant to stay buried within the recesses of his soul. A shiver trickles down his spine as he bites his lip.

“I’m starting to think that life is worth living… when there is someone to love in it. Is that strange?”

The rabbits look at each other and begin to bounce around happily. Dazai’s lashes blink, confused at first before a slight blush covers his cheeks. The bunnies creep closer, stepping on his dress, wanting to hear more. Some lean against his chest, and one reaches to nibble his nose. He can almost hear them asking, “Love? Who? How? What made you change your mind?”

“Now, now. You can’t automatically assume I’m talking about Chuuya when I say love,” Dazai gasps playfully. “I could be talking about anyone.”

A small tweet is heard from his left as a singular rose finch settles on his shoulder. It flaps its wings, chirping as it bounces on his shoulder. Dazai chirps back, raising an eyebrow at the sassy creature and poking its beak.

His audience remains silent, tilting their heads side to side while they thump their little feet against his chest and legs. They clearly didn't believe him. Dazai whines playfully and shoos away the critters with a wag of his finger and pout. His gaze then shifts toward the sky, watching the clouds roll until two birds flit by his periphery.

Two rose finches circled each other in a ritualistic dance, landing on an oak’s limb to cuddle close and preen their feathers. They grow increasingly fluffy as they come together like two cotton balls, eyes glimmering happily as they share a kiss and shower their mate with affection. One finch gives the other a gentle head massage with its beak while the smaller finch closes its eyes, happy to be pampered, and the brunette’s eyes soften. His heart returns him to a night full of laughter, music, and dancing.

Memories of a grand ball flood his mind, and he instinctively raises his hands to his face, attempting to conceal his bashfulness with a soft groan. “Alright, maybe it’s Chuuya I’m talking about. I… We…”

He sits up this time, his hands dropping to his lap, where he nervously toys with his fingers. “Chuuya has been on my mind. W-We shared a kiss... at his kingdom’s ball,” he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper as his fingers come to his lips to graze them softly. “It was my first kiss, too.”

The bunnies stand on their legs, ears perked high, tails wagging excitedly. Some jump for joy while others drop the weeds in their mouth to gape at the brunette in surprise. Birds tweet and strut around on the limbs, passing the gossip among themselves. Dazai can’t help the giddy giggle that escapes him. He motions for everyone to come closer, patting the soil next to him.

“I guess… I do have a story to share after all,” he sighs dreamily, hands coming to his chest. “It’s just…he was so romantic, I could not resist.”

**************

They had swayed to music all evening in a suit and gown. Chuuya asked him for a dance, conducted him through a waltz, patient during Dazai’s missteps, and grinned with him when they decided to dance at their rhythm rather than the song’s tempo. Hands were held, their bodies so close that Dazai could see his reflection in Chuuya’s blue orbs. He swore he almost lost himself in them, gripping Chuuya’s shoulders tightly to remain present…or stable. Perhaps a little of both. He wasn’t a good dancer, but Chuuya was in his element that night, a true gentleman and chivalrous.

After many hours of dancing and socializing, Chuuya led him to a balcony, away from prying eyes, to rest and relax. They sat silently on a bench, a slight blush on their cheeks as they cooled the droplets on their skin. Dazai was unsure who made the first move, but soon, they were sitting close, one of Chuuya’s hands around his waist. Dazai rested his head against Chuuya’s shoulder and sighed in relief at his support.

He had a lot of fun (though his feet would mourn him in the morning), much more than he thought he would when he was invited to attend. He tilts his head, glimpsing at Chuuya through his lashes. A man full of life and comfortable like a crackling fire after spring’s rainy season.

Chuuya smiles down at him, and then leans close to nuzzle against Dazai’s curls, resting his chin on top of his head. Dazai blushes.

“You seem tired. You should get some rest now.”

“Not yet…,” Dazai mumbled, “I want to stay a little longer. If I walk now, I fear I’ll twist my ankle in these shoes.”

Dazai nuzzled closer in the embrace until his nose settled on the crook of Chuuya’s neck, eyes drooping tiredly. His eyes closed briefly as he listened to the background music that had slowed down, a gentle composition of string instruments serenading its remaining visitors. Below, he could hear the sound of retreating steps as guests walked the garden towards the Castle’s entrance, ready to begin their trips home.

Beside him, Chuuya frees his hand, lifting it to stroke Dazai’s cheek in a tender touch that makes Dazai shudder and hum happily. He almost doesn’t catch Chuuya’s question; he’s focused on the feather touches on his skin that make him feel dizzy, as if drunk on wine, soul soaring whenever they make any contact.

“Do you need me to carry you to your room? I don’t mind.”

“You…would?” Dazai wonders out loud. He cringes, his mouth moving faster than his brain for once. His sleepiness must be showing through all his mistakes, but it doesn't seem to bother Chuuya.

“I mean, I can’t have you spraining your ankle. We did dance a lot,” Chuuya says with an apologetic smile. “But I’m pretty strong, you know. Don’t worry. I won’t let you fall.”

Chuuya leans forward to press their foreheads together and quietly asks, “Do you trust me?”

And really, how could Dazai say no? The brunette’s cheeks redden, and he nods shyly. “I do,” he says, turning his face away to hide his flushed expression, wishing for one of his cloaks to magically appear so he can hide beneath its hood.

Chuuya smiles, hesitant to remove himself from Dazai’s side at first, but he stands, extending a hand for Dazai to take, and that’s when the nearby church bells ring, signaling the stroke of midnight.

Dazai takes his hand, his heels shaking beneath him like a newborn foal as he stands, and he stumbles forward into Chuuya's arms. He gasps, once again gripping Chuuya by his shoulders for support, their faces inches from each other again. He could feel Chuuya’s breath mingling with his own.

What is the embrace of a lover like, he often wondered? Is it safe like this? What is romance like? Is it dancing the night away at a ball and ending the night with a kiss? Who is Chuuya to him? Is he a friend or someone more than that? Would life really permit him to live by Chuuya’s side?

As Dazai gazes into Chuuya’s bewildered expression, he can’t help but think about how he had wanted to leave Chuuya behind when they first met. Too skittish to come close, but too tired of living in the shadows.

He gulped. Suddenly, the mere thought of leaving Chuuya behind in this world unsettled him. No, Chuuya wasn’t a nobody anymore. Chuuya wasn’t a friend either. Chuuya was the beat of his heart, the resonance in his soul, and the air his lungs breathe. Feelings suddenly clear.

So, beneath the watchful gaze of the heavens and the time, they lean in, carefully meeting in the middle in a tender kiss, embracing each other with timid smiles. After they pull away and Chuuya picks him up bridal-style to walk him back to his room, Dazai cannot help but think that maybe this was always how they were meant to be.

(This is a follow-up to your Snowzai drabble. I guess I really am going to write Snowzai through all your asks, he he he he. I hope you love it.)

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