#ur not entitled to know anything abt me

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

sry to engage w goofy ass discourse but im kinda tired of seeing the phrase "afab intersex people used as a gotcha" abt ppl who dont like phrases like tma and tme like. i dont think thats whats happening man ur talking like intersex ppl arent actively on the site and talking abt their own experiences we're not using ourselves as a gotcha. like a lot of intersex ppl r talking abt it themselves u dont gotta keep pretending we're a fringe hypothetical case. intersex ppl are just often not included in these types of conversations and applying a label to someone based on their agab is fucked up no matter what its just more obvious when you're an intersex person and you know that sex is not binary and your agab doesnt reveal some intrinsic truth abt ur biology or identity

[bitethedevil]

what annoys me the most about "canonically bad in bed", a list

- this is coming from hist LITERAL DILDO, like sorry he is not trying to pleasure his dildo, DO YOU PLEASE YOUR DILDO OR YOURSELF WHEN U GET OFF??? (totally understand haarlep is unhappy #freehaarlep but that is not the topic of this treatise)

- masturbation is always auto-erotic. e.g. almost all pornography directed at straight men shows men glorification of THEIR role in a sex situation, almost all erotica directed at straight women shows THEM being desired, it is always abt u and ur ego

- being "good" or "bad" in bed is a normative bullshit question I am frankly annoyed tav can even ask, because different people like different things, and this game is otherwise a lot better written about sex and gender stuff. also if you play haarlep's game, tav lies there like a starfish doing nothing at all, and haarlep likes it?? we should get rid of normative sexual evaluations of others smh

- there are people who like topping, people who like bottoming, frankly this is kinda toxic homophobic/misogynistic "haha, he was the one *getting* fucked all the time" implying a. the fuck-ee is dominated by the fuck-er and fucking is a violent act of dominance (untrue), and b. bottoms are somehow lesser than tops? so much wrong with this!!

- if I recall correctly haarlep just says raphael was bad in bed and always on bottom, and nothing about how long he lasts, and then the only way tav can use this knowledge to provoke raphael is by ASSUMING he doesn't last for very long, which is like wtf? why would u shame someone with some made-up toxic sex norms/assume they try to last when they masturbate? (even in case haarlep does say raphael cums too soon, shaming people for cumming too quick is such an incredibly mean thing, they can't control it)

- it is kinda sad (and toxic ngl) that raphael cares about haarlep so much and can't deny him anything and is so obsessed with this person who hates him and is dependent on him, giving strong toxic hetero relationship vibes. raphael, u can't have a relationship with someone who u control baby that is just not how it works lil guy, are u too scared u are not good enough for someone who will choose u of their own free will, are u scared they will leave u babygirl

to conclude we know absolutely nothing about raphael's sexual preferences, we just know haarlep is (rightfully) angry at him and being a slave, and raphael has ego issues which like come one we already knew that from day 1

I’m completely with you anon. The only thing I would like to comment on (and this is just my own interpretation) is the fact that Raphael can’t deny Haarlep anything. I don’t think that’s out of any fondness, I completely think its through Haarlep’s magic…which…just kind of makes it worse since Haarlep is there to spy on him for Mephistopheles. You saw how hard it was for Tav to deny him use of their body and mind. I’d imagine it works the same way with Raph, even though he’s a cambion. In my mind, the whole dynamic between Haarlep and Raph is fucked and Raphael is just trying to make the most out of a bad situation (I wrote a whole post on it a little while back, but it is of course just my own interpretation). Which just makes it even WORSE that Tav behaves the way they do about the whole thing. Like damn. I’d be mad as hell too.

I might write a standalone post on the weird discourse on Raphael’s sex-life at some point because it does somewhat fascinate me. Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of any work, and that is something I hold sacred. What bothers me sometimes is the way that people talk about it. For example, the problematic way of portraying tops/bottoms and the shaming part that you also talked about in this ask.  

What bothers me even more is when people feel the need to drag that interpretation into fan-spaces to reduce the character to just those aspects as a “gotcha”. I don’t know if that is just me, but if there’s characters that I don’t like, I don’t even use their tags. I’ve written a couple of hate posts on the Emperor. They might show up under the tag just because Tumblr’s algorithm is weird, but I’ve never tagged them with the character’s name, just in case there are fans who use the tag and find that annoying.

Anyway…Thank you so much for the ask! I completely agree with you.

[neptunescore]

Unpopular F1 opinions? Well, I'll shoot mine, but I am not really a fan of Ferrari (well I kind of don't like the team, only Fred)

This also contributes to me not really liking neither Charles nor Carlos. I'm sorry but both of them give off such rich, detached from reality, playboy asshole energy. And also their love lifes seems, well, pretty messy to say the least. Carlos dumping a girl he's been with for ages? Charles cheating on his past girlfriend? I'm sorry, but these two are just a big red (how ironic) flag to me

LMFAOOO, AS A FERRARI FAN I FEEL CALLED OUT. (/j)

Nah, but I get u.

For me personally tho, I don't really like getting too involved with driver's personal lives (especially their love lifes) like I'll consume and obsess over content that they've given us, but I like to stay away from gossip pages or general assumptions being made. I just feel like we, as fans, never really know what's actually happening behind the scenes so we can't really say anything abt stuff like that.

HOWEVER, from what I HAVE seen... would I ever (this would never happen) actually date one of the ferrari drivers??um... no 💀✋🏽 but are they my bby girls???um... yes😭✊🏽 (leave me and my duality alone OKAY)

Also, ur preception of them is hilarious to me and I won't even say anything abt it bc we're all entitled to our own opinion and I'd be a hypocrite to say otherwise

Anyway, c28hunter, just know ur one of my favourite mutuals, and I genuinely giggle a bit every time I see u on my page😘🤭, also hoping u find as much happiness playing the guitar as you did sword fighting and that you realise just how much the ppl in your life love you.

I had no idea there might be a chance charles cheated, and im curious to know how that came abt so like... u know if u come in my ask again or smthng😄

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

CKB hear me out. Haters will say it's fake but ....... blanche youngest child. The Victorian maid garb? He's tired of being in the shadows of those before him and is trying to set his own identity. Extreme violence? A big ol temper tantrum and cry for attention. I dare say i would lean on him being youngest child just because Lev fits the disaster middle child ALL too well 😮‍💨.

I see why some will say Lev as the youngest but i feel like he's suuuuch a middle kid like, even if he's stupid, he'd having a good time and that's all he cares about. I feel like youngests are actually more deceitful and tricky wheras middle kids are pretty true to themselves and more easygoing? Like them youngest kids are used to sneaking around and just so cunning, showing different faces (not unlike blanche who does a 180)

Like blanche, yves can also fit all 3 perfectly. He does kinda seem like the overstressed, overworked, will nag out of love, can never relax, will shoulder responsibility for you eldest child (i feel like eldest children also have a really clean aesthetic? Middle kids are either cozy wear or pop the Fuck off. And youngest kids are always flashy but in their own way and my god if that isnt blanche 💀)

Also i feel like eldest kids (yves) have a great fear or failure and losing things so theyre lowkey control freaks. Youngest kids (blanche) are oddly possessive and entitled like they think the last slice of pizza is their god given right. And middle kids (lev) are so used to losing things that they get obsessive over the things they do have, and a bit pathetic abt it if they feel it slipping away.

Youngest kid blanch really does seem like a big brat (but who cares) to me. Like he sees reader as his dead pet hamster that he accidentally squeezed to death trying to hug it but he refuses to believe it's dead so he keeps leaving food out for it and stroking it. Middle kid Lev sees you as a cute hamster and buys you cool wheels and a rolling ball and toys and sleeps with you in his bed. Eldest Yves will not allow anything to happen to pet hamster so he has a seperate temperature controlled room for it, homemade pellets, probably wipes hammies ass after it poops and everything.

This was just my random musing though and im excited to see what you end up making the order!!

Also i think i was ur 🐰 anon and i used to send in all those theories for language barrier LOL. Ummmmm the bunny thing *totally* didn't have to do with Lev, so, uh, don't tell Blanche, my latest hyperfixation 🤭 (or Cyprus because goddamn-)

🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: Oh! Also feel like blanche would be a lot younger than the other two. Like modern au or whatever if they were all together, yves moved out when blanche was a kid (because he was independent) lev was never home bc he was always out and just kinda ended up living w one of his friends (never 'officially' moved out but he's living elsewhere) and followed the party life, and blanche was probably raised and spoiled by a family elder, making him feel like an 'old soul born in the wrong generation'. But hold onnn i didnt know therewas a blanche pt 2, lemme go read that and see if it changes things LOL 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: no blanche is actually so middle/youngest child coded it's insane bc i refuse to let go of middle child lev (actually i need to give bunny a reread before that too, and ofc more content on him when it comes out lol) but brooooo them youngest kids be weird as FUCK like, smth abt blanche feels like he's playing dressup, pretending and trying so hard to be this old fashioned adult gentleman, meanwhile yves actually is more calculated, composed and knows what to do for his shit. I actually initially thought of yves being the youngest but i feel like blanche being youngest fits so much better imo. Like blanche is just here to do his own shit, he's a bit selfish, and pushes for hinself. Yves puts his responsibility first and pushes for reader. Plus yves has that blonde mom in target drinking a coffee doing 3 hours of shopping in 12 minutes before her next hot yoga class and thats soooo eldest child coded. Idk something abt blanche as a person (not a character) seems so underdeveloped and child like in a disturbing yet innocent way? 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: "unromancable, unfuckable weirdo." No im sorry Blanche is actually the youngest child Bunny anon

Holy fuckin shit bunny anon always comign in with a banger , yess that's what im talking about them tasty brain chews i like i like

shid man like u really lay out their vibes and everything and even imagined them in modern AUs , presented evidence and cited your source like what the fuck this is such a good analysis like damn bro i fr appreciate the enthusiasm

Like all the stuff you sair fr made sense even to someone who has no siblings, its as if i had those little shits living in the same house as me and i observed the dynamic, like yeah damn Yves really fit the oldest child

Its really fitting cause if you think about it, they're all like centuries old or whatever and both Yves and Leveret are pretty youthful looking with no grey hairs- they went on their own quests to preserve their looks, Whereas Blanche is considered to be the most unkempt out of the three with his salt and pepper hair growing uncontrollably to the back of his knees, no manicures just natural long nails but he's still considered youthful cause ykno 50 year old looking man vs his actual 5 million year old age , but it just shows that he doesn't care about looking youthful as much as his older brothers

i notice the older siblings from other relatives and friends they tend to looksmaxx more than the younger ones. and they try to keep up trends, like Yves and Leveret is pretty modern whereas Blanche is fuckin ancient with his stuff, mannerisms and dressing up

and yes he is ironically the most immature (as in childlike) of them all, even tho leveret is like spontaneous and has his slipups, but damn bunny anon like ur analysis is always bangers like what the hell bro i love them and i love you

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, random thoughts, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

Hiiii!!

here, have some basic info about me :3

name: anything goes pretty much but please use multiple names :] HOWEVER not neptune as that is reserved for @marcysbear , cass/cassie/cassiopeia is reserved for my boyyyfrieeenndddd <33 ( @mostautisticangel ) and dont call me enthu unless ur terri :] uh also you three dont necsessarily have to branch out more

OBLIGITORY QUEER SECTION!! i say that like i dont actively want this here. anyway! the labels i use are queer, bi, lesbian, gay, polyamorous, genderfluid, trans, gnc, non binary, genderqueer and arospec. arospec as in i am largely aromantic and use that as an umbrella term, however i am capable romantic attraction/ am flexible with such labels bc its all bullshit anyway.

i have audhd! i get hyperfixation and sometimes talk abt that if i so wish and my special interests are space and generally queer shit. also pls use tone tags i will think u hate me im too anxious for my own good sometimes

i am dogshit at spelling so. ignore the typos and misspellings!!

if u send me chain asks dont expect me to keep the chain going, ill answer it and say thanks but i wont actually do the thing

BOUNDIES!! GENUINE, ACTUAL BOUNDRIES!

-pls don’t send dono asks i don’t got money bc im a minor

-dont think if i have a take like "i dont like taylor swift" i am personally attacking you. you can like whatever the fuck u want idc everyone is entitled to their own opinoins. i just dont like her as a person

-DONT call me the reserved names if you arent that one person

-try to refrain from calling ppl (including me) baby/babe/bae around me it makes me want to die sometimes and i dont want to constantly be a romance repulsed little shit around u guys (this means dont use those names for anyone if i am in the conversation i cant control past that) (it also isnt a problem here i dont think ive ever seen it here its really just discord tbh)

-dont ask for my discord unless were friends or close in some way and dont get offended if i say no

-u can call me a faggot or dyke or tranny as long as you are the slur you are using

-if you have my discord and were moots you can call me a slut and a whore all u want idm :3 (bc i am a slut and a whore.) (really really sorry if you didnt want to read that btw /gen)

OH TAGS UH

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

boyfriend dearest - @mostautisticangel my hot and beautiful boyfriend :]

moots feel free to ask for tags <3

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

~~~~

i think. thats it. if u follow me and u didnt like this post dw im gonna screen u anyway <3

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

~~~~~ blinky time ~~~~~

holding up these blinkies to ward off ppl who dont like gaybians

credit to @jeweledviolets @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

[wendytestabrat]

it’s all kyle’s stupid fault cartman dated heidi in the first place

it fucking pissed me off how kyle acts all butthurt when cartman ended up with heidi and tried sabotoging their relationship and acting like a total victim like doesn’t he realize HE was fucking responsible for cartman ending up with heidi??? like LOL kyle was the one who got all the other boys all riled up to break cartman’s stuff & cartman was reasonably hurt and betrayed by kyle for that. in the beginning of s20 cartman tried being friends with kyle and he asked kyle to help him take down the troll bc cartman knew this was something kyle would be good at & care abt too but then kyle had to be a fucking snake and assume cartman was the troll and break his stuff. honestly cartman had every RIGHT to be pissed off like he should’ve never talked to kyle again after that LOL kyle is fucking lucky that cartman ended up forgiving him for that and trying to be his friend again. cartman ended up going for heidi bc of how sad & lonely he was bc all his “friends” stabbed him in the back and she was the only one who showed him any care and also heidi apologized to cartman for blaming him for being the troll before kyle did even tho kyle should’ve been the one running to cartman and apologizing right away not heidi bc he broke his fucking stuff. and then heidi was the one who ended up helping cartman take down the troll which he originally wanted to do with kyle so then ofc kyle is butthurt that cartman is suddenly acting all good and doing this philanthropic shit with someone else LOL. but get over urself kyle that boat sailed for u in the beginning. and kyle was sooo upset to see cartman & heidi together right when he decides to swallow his pride and finally apologize to cartman but it was fucking entitled as hell of kyle to expect that he could just go up to cartman like days or weeks after he broke his shit to give a half assed apology and cartman would just forgive him and everything would go back to normal in their toxic ass love hate relationship (even though part of me thinks during that scene kyle was apologizing and being vulnerable bc he realized his feelings for cartman finally and was expecting more to come out of it). & he’s all surprised cartman moved on before he did and spent all that time hanging out with someone else like does he just assume cartman has 0 life and is totally incapable of getting a girlfriend? like that pisses me off it shows how toxic kyle is to cartman and how it’s like he thrives off of trying to see cartman fail. and cartman also handled things surprisingly maturely after they broke his stuff he didn’t get revenge or anything he just realized they aren’t his friends and distanced himself from the guys which is honestly what i would do too LOL. and it’s like kyle could not be happy for cartman either like if he was really sorry he would’ve been more supportive of his relationship with heidi considering he hadn’t done shit to her yet until s21 (ugh i fucking hate s21 bc it ruined all the character development they had set up for cartman in s20 by just making him act like a shitbag to heidi out of nowhere). bc that’s what real friends do they act supportive of ur success and are happy for you when your life improves. but nooo kyle just doesn’t know how to accept the outcome of his own fucking behavior and doesn’t understand that his actions have consequences and he doesn’t get to act however he wants and expect everything will just work out for him.

[celestie0]

Hello ellie! 😍 im just here to drop a ‘few’ words so don’t mind me 🤪 (i fear it may have turned into a yapsesh oopsies!)

Help omg idk if this is tmi but like im on my period and I was reading chap 3 of ihm right… and how could i prevent myself from laughing at my fav goofy ahh lighthearted romcom series on tumblr? 😔 put 2 and 2 together and boom i had my ketchup bottle moment when reading the dialogue bye 💀🤚 I LITERALLY HAD TO STOP FOR A MOMENT TO PROCESS WTH JUST HAPPENED LOL

Anyway, i rlly LOVEEEE your writing style for ihm,, the goofiness n domesticity is what I need as therapy for the heart wrenching angst fics ive read 😤 the way you write y/n + gojo’s dynamic and quarrels never fail to make me crack up like an egg and i love you for that 😔 THANK YOU FOR CREATING A COMFORT FIC FOR US ALL 🥺🫶

I hope I’m not stepping out of line here but your feelings abt the smut in ihm is totally valid and i understand you. That anon probs didn’t intend on bringing any harm but like there’s bountiful of smut in the jjk fandom that I’m sure they could have read instead of commenting smth so ignorant and disrespectful 🥲 Pls every time i search ‘jjk x reader’ in the search tab, i’m always greeted by endless posts of smut one-shots 😭 but fr this fandom actually needs to stop being a buncha horny brainrots bc im actually over repetitive and predictable smut,, everything just feels so shallow :,0 (everyone is entitled to their own opinion so dont atk me pls) and them invading your personal space by demanding smut is just not it… and we all know you don’t have to cater to them bc u don’t owe them anything! no need to listen to the smut hungry anons bc they don’t even care abt the blood, sweat and tears you pour into ur fics if they’re pushing you to write smut 😡‼️ they can go fulfil their dirty desires somewhere else ;-;

Words seriously cannot express how much I love your stories and just wanna applaud you for not immediately jumping into smut and actually having relationship buildup,, it makes the stories have sustenance and ik u want ur fics to be memorable in a unique way to your lovely readers 😇 but we seriously need a smut ban n touch grass movement in the jjk fandom for a bit bc this is getting out of hand 😭

I LOVE YOU ELLIE AND PLS DONT BE DISCOURAGED BY THESE SILLY ANONS BC AT THE END OF THE DAY THEY R NOTHING + YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM (us ACTUAL readers and gojo) WILL ALWAYS HAVE UR BACK AND SHOWER U IN THE LOVE THAT U DESERVE!!! ❤️

hiii bb!! PLEASE the ketchup bottle moment sent me to the moon also so fucking relatable xD and omg i'm so glad you enjoy the lightheartedness of ihm so far!! it's been sm fun to write and it's become a comfort fic of my own as well <33

thanks so much for the support on the smut thing <3 i've been toggling back n forth between feeling awful for coming at that anon like that vs being glad i stood up for myself lol, but ultimately, i just needed to share my perspective. i don't think they were trying to be rude either, which is why i felt bad, but i spoke my truth lol

and i totally agree w you (pls no one attack me either) but i'm honestly kind of sick of just seeing straight smut on my feed. like it's fine when i'm in the mood but the tumblr algorithm for jjk feels like your partner constantly begging you for sex 24/7 lol. but yea power to whatever someone wants to read, but don't impose it on an author.

anywho i've been talking a lot ab this situation lolol i feel like there's nothing i haven't said anymore but i totally agree w everything you've said!

thanks sm for you lovely words of support bb :'') i love u tooo and i'm so blessed to have the community of support i have on here!! this situation has definitely made me realize i'm not alone. have a wonderful dayyy (also hope your period is treating you well) <3

[urgrossdaughter]

I think i have issues because sometimes i get so seriously agitated by my friends. Like the amount kf questions and overexplaining i have to do about some things that should be common sense??? Or like if i say i dont want to explain something and then they still ask me questions abt it ljke HELLO. I JUST EXPLICITLY SAID I DON'T WANT TO EXPLAIN HELLDOOAOAHDV

And i never say anything out loud cus ik i need to work on it and stop being so fucking annoyed by how dumb people are sometimes because genuinely theyre just curious and want to know but its like??????????

And sometimes it feels so condescending?? Like i had gone to this rly nice restaurant bc a family member took me once. Then i made a new friend and shes telling me abt not only the restaurant, but the specific road (which is like v wrll known in the uk) and acting as if idk about it?? Like do u think im stupid cus i lived 20 mins away from that road for my whole childhood?????? And then was telling me abt the restaurant and explaining it, and i said id been there and she stopped and was like".. you? You went there? Huh when did you go there lol"

And i was like 😐 whats that tone for😭 idk its just frustrating when if u dont tell ppl abt everything that happens in ur life, they act like they were already entitled to know? Or like its so crazy that i did something but only because its me??? IDK

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

[genderqueerdykes]

i truly do feel like there were many consequences to being 'wrong' about my gender and orientation earlier in life. like physical, emotional, sexual, and potentially traumatic consequences. Im not saying that exploration or identity was wrong and shouldn't have happened, but actions we take to explore an identity can carry a lot of weight.

there are consequences for some actions, but most if not all of those are impermanent

early in life is you don't know yourself yet. when you are young u are quite literally supposed to make the most amount of mistakes when you are young. the questioning process is not linear and takes many twists and turns. HRT and top surgery generally are not considered or carried out in minors, and if HRT is carried out it's usually after a lot of confirmation that that is correct.

i came out as genderqueer in 2011, then a binary trans man by pressure from my family/friends to identify w/ a binary gender in 2014, then detransitioned from a binary trans man to whatever i am in 2022. the only consequence in me being wrong about being a binary trans man for 8 or so years was it felt wrong... to me. that's it. the only consequence now as i detransition is that i regret allowing other people to dictate my transition like that

i wasn't lying to people at the time, when you are genuinely wrong about something, u are not lying. i thought i was a binary man for all that time bcus nonbinary identities were not as well known as they are now. i was forced into binary trans man transition, and it felt right to me at the time because it was the transition ppl around me let me access. i'm just not a binary trans man tho and it's ok that i was wrong, my life hasn't fallen apart, im still the same person the words i use now are just different lol

it is possible to be wrong about being gay and dating someone you're incompatible with but generally speaking if the situation turns out to be traumatizing to the person it's because that specific situation was traumatizing, not bcus they were wrong abt being gay. same if u are wrong about being trans- like sure it is possible to get into dangerous situations, but it's because that situation was dangerous that it was traumatizing, not that you were wrong about being queer. if u allow something to weigh on ur mind, sure, it'll have perceived consequences, but what goes on in your head and your heart is nobody's business but your own. if people refuse to update their internal image if you in their mind or hold on to things for the sake of semantics unnecessarily, a better support network is highly recommended

there werent consequences about me being wrong abt and acting like i was cishet for a long time, nor being wrong abt being a trans man. i didn't hurt anyone or screw anything up by living that way, nothing in my life permanently changed that i already did not want changed (HRT, not being seen as a cis woman, etc.), and i didn't come out the other side for the worse or agonizing or traumatized for identifying as a man. i aws traumtized by a lot of the cis men i forced myself to hang out with, but i wasn't traumatized by trans man transition. ftm transition wasn't the problem, it was the people i chose to socialize with that traumatized me. hope that helps make it more clear. i don't follow the logic (shrug) but cheers, that is how u feel and u are entitled to it!

[amporella]

i haven't read ur most recent femme kyle/masc stan essay yet bc my attention span just doesn't really mesh well with essays but i know its a banger and i just wanted to hand a psa to ppl who keep saying this kinda thing abt ur essays and metas: STOP SAYING ITS JUST THE SOUTH PARK FANDOM AND IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS!! like its really not but also i am spending at least an hour and a half on each piece of fanart i draw. there's 129839292839 word long fanfics out there abt little asshat eggheads that go in depth abt mental illnesses and the general side effects their goofy but traumatic adventures may have on their lives and them as people. we are all in this asylum together!!! so let amporella write her metas and her long essays. i am the number 1 user amporella defender ever since that twitter fiasco with ur essay abt fandom entitlement dont listen to the haters out there user amporella!!!

WAAH THANK YOU!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE IT... <3 <3

This fandom has definitely had some weird aversion to meta-writing recently and it is such a shame!! I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND IT... people will complain about headcanons not adhering to canon enough, but then you defend yours with canon and somehow that is not the right move </3 it is baffling to me!! BUT fortunately this one has gotten a lot more immediate positive reception than a lot of my other ones, and I really enjoyed writing it, so that's what matters in the end!

WE ARE ALL IN THIS ASYLUM TOGETHER... you are totally right about that!! When it comes down to it, nobody's choice of how to participate in fandom (whether it's art, fic writing, meta, or anything else) is more inherently valuable than anybody else's. And if anybody else were to step into the SP fandom, we're all getting dragged equal amounts.

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR KIND WORDS... YOU ARE SO SWEET <3

[banghwa]

''i dont really mind that no one really puts their weird invasive relationship microscope over them bcs what they have is truly so special and beautiful that i want them to get to keep it all to themselves'' you know what... you're SO right. i always get angry when i see how this fandom treats hoseok as the odd one out and seems to ignore his incredibly close friendships with the members (some of which i see as one the most wonderful bonds within the group). i thought that maybe there's a blessing in that - hoseok has more freedom to openly love his members without too many people making it weird or even uncomfortable for him. but what you said made me realise that it's also good because he gets to keep his beautiful friendships more private despite being in the view of millions, simply because so many of those millions don't care. i hope he breathes a bit easier because of this, i hope that despite how this fandom treats him, it results in good things for him as well. hahah suddenly i feel like spreading the ''hoseok is the seventh wheel'' agenda (despite it being obvious that the group is hobi's harem), let him love them in peace like he deserves. everybody stop perceiving hoseok's friendships! seriously tho, i hope he's so so happy.

HIIIII my love omg im so sorry you sent this practically a month ago and im just seeing it :(( if i remember right ur talking abt this post, and yes exactly! and yes definetly i do feel like hoseok is that kind of person too, where he values his personal relationships so closely that he would prefer they don't get overly tangled in the publicity of it all, and so maybe not having as much attention on his interactions is a little more comfortable for him. im sure friendships for someone as famous as he is must be such a delicate matter. and although i would wish hoseok to be loved as loudly as other members and that his very close relationship with them be seen as being as important as more popular friendships like between jungkook and jimin.....like on the other hand i see how jikookers and taekookers and yoonminers act and how entitled they are to interactions and content and if less attention is what it takes for jihopers to stay normal then so be it !!!!!! i think theres cons and pros to it, and if anything it means hoseok can be truly appreciated by fans who genuinely like him and his work. and SO fucking true maybe if we keep spreading the "hoseok seventh wheel" agenda we can implicitely keep gatekeeping him <33333

[izzy-b-hands]

I survived

It took half the last edible caramel I have

There was... so much more but to sum up in a few key moments:

-my uncle ditching for an hour before we were going to open gifts to go DUI test ppl his co-workers arrested tonight. He talked abt it gleefully, saying it didn't matter what they blew on the machine, no one was going home. I resisted the urge to ask him how he'd feel if he was in that situation, bc he thinks he's gods gift and presumes he'll never do anything he personally would dislike others doing. sure. whatever asshole

-My 16 yr old cousin watching my grandma open up one of those massage gun things (like the one they made a spectacle of at Thanksgiving) and shouting that she doesn't have to come moan in their living room anymore (she has chronic pain in multiple spots, so she was making noises but like. it's ur grandma bro can u pls not)

-the 18 and 21 year going off on each other during present opening over just. nothing. the way one opened a gift, the way she laughed, anything. Then cut to two seconds later and them gossiping abt their fellow CNAs like they love each other. Wouldn't mind the sisterly whatever the fuck that all is, but god they can scream so loud.

-my uncle finding out the 21 year old had a sip of margarita my grandma made for her and my aunt to share earlier in the day, and immediately losing his shit telling her as his daughter she will not fucking drink, ever. I personally find she's a 21 year old adult who can make that choice herself, but ya know. He likes parenting now that she's an adult and doesn't need as much, my aunt took care of a lot of the hard shit for him years earlier.

-my mum getting mad that only I tried the appetizer she made and brought, and when my grandparents said hey there's just a lot of food leave us a tray to try for leftovers, she instead gave most of them to me and begrudgingly left a tray for them. I wanted to cry, my grandma looked so hurt. Not that I'm not very grateful for the extras for myself but like. It didn't have to go down like that either.

-mum's bf had us leave as soon as presents were done bc he (understandably lmaooo) can't stand being around our family for long for a good few reasons (kids swear, are too loud, act entitled, fight most of the night, complain abt & critique their gifts tho that actually only happened once or twice tonight.) I both wanted to leave and didn't. Wanted to stay and have another small plate and talk to Grandma and Grandpa while the kids checked out their new stuff. But also, still not feeling amazing and definitely v overwhelmed like. I have maybe two spoons left to get myself showered and some more food in me, then im mucking around on here and just. yeah. idk. lots of weird conflicting family feelings.

However all that said, i am grateful I had family to visit, that the food I managed to eat was delicious, and that they were very kind in the presents they got me. I just wish it could be a little less of the above and my earlier posts sometimes.

Im gonna go slump on the bathroom tile for a bit and cry i think. then back to reblogging pirates and stuff

[incessantwhine]

im so fed up acting like im not a deeply possessive person tbh. what’s mine is mine. i got here cuz i earned it. i EARNED it. over and over again. not once have i stepped a TOE out of line and i would NEVER. never even dream of it. its abhorrent to me. it’s the thing I hate most, when anything or anyone crosses ur boundaries. upsets you. hurts you. i get murderous abt it. that’s why i would never. im not the exception. that’s why this all stays in this cursed little journal.

but im exceptionally loyal and ur not gonna find anyone else like me. not even ur brainwashed toys. i didn’t need to be brainwashed to be this way, I just am. u didn’t even have to lift a finger. isn’t that deplorable and just so sweet?

i hardly ever make mistakes and if i even get a WHIFF or vague sense i did, i do everything i can to correct myself & apologize & i fucking mean it, too. i change based on what U need without question. i can be anything u want. i would live & die for someone and it’s not even an exaggeration. u say jump and i don’t even bother asking how high, i just DO.

every bit of this big ego, about how im the better man, is there cuz it’s TRUE. i am unfathomably devoted. u don’t even know the depth of it all, because I refuse to burden u with it—another selfless act.

so what if it makes me a greedy little narcissistic monster? aren’t i entitled to a little stake in things after giving and giving and giving and giving? is it so much to ask, when im yours completely??? god. i give like that b/c I want to, not because i expect a treat or reward. i don’t even need a piece in return at the end of the day. the one thing though, i cant fucking STAND, is hearing how everyone else is still more preferable than me. im not even asking to be picked first. i just don’t want to hear abt it when im not. So simple. im not a fucking cuckold. it’s not my cup of tea. my own validation is enough, I don’t need you to tell me I’m the best cuz I already know, all i want is to not hear abt the competition.

this is the WORST part of me talking. i know and i deeply resent her for existing. shes scary. she wants bad things. & she’s mean and goes against all the “love and light” chill optimist positivity i present to the world. but it’s me, too. it is. and im done denying it. no matter what I do or how I heal there is that ugly feral snarling creature backed into a corner and would do unspeakable things, dig tooth and nail into what’s hers. you’d have to rip whatever she’s got to shreds in order to pry it out of her clutches, but good luck getting close. mine mine mine. a little toxic trauma goblin. wants to be owned and never let go of and own in return.

both things can exist. they just try to beat each other to death in my head. whatever. i can be bitter and spiteful and jealous sometimes. it’s only human. and it doesn’t matter if i keep it to myself anyway.

im ruined. where did my self control go? my ability to Will myself out of feeling? it’s insane. im RUINED. and i let it happen and i smiled the whole time because it was in the name of being Good to u.

[possibilistfanfiction]

I'm more annoyed that privileged players didn't speak up on Christen's behalf when her complaints were swept under the rug. I'm positive that all the players in the NWSL and the National Team knew about the abuse and mistreatment of Christen and other players. If a privileged player like Alex Morgan had spoken up, there would've been an uproar, immediate firing of the abuser, and change would've happened much sooner.

i mean i see ur point but tbh this is way way off the mark for me. facts first, we have no idea if cp ever wanted ANY of this to be public, let alone which teammates she told in 2014 & subsequently in 2018; i guarantee that she & tobin, another high profile white player, had a ton of convos abt this which i trust were very loving & supportive & tobin never said a word. we have absolutely no idea what role press wanted any of her teammates to play, & the fact that she herself never came forward publicly with any of this until last year is very telling. beyond that, it shouldn’t require a(n even more) famous teammate saying she believes you for the people who are supposed to protect you to do something.

which brings me to the MUCH bigger point in that it’s 100% the fault of the coaches & everyone who protected them. people in power, especially men, who abuse it are the people i’m angry at. women, even those with say & influence like alex, feeling scared or not speaking out is, imo, kind of a misdirection of anger. tobin didn’t speak out either, & there is quite literally no one closer on the uswnt or in the world to cp than her (lol but u know). uswnt players on crs as the report notes also did corroborate what cp said abt rory.

so yah i mean i’m basically choosing to place blame on the systems that perpetuate deep harm, & the men, tbh, who did that harm. for women’s sport to change & for sport itself to change, the mentality of those in power has to shift deeply. i’ve worked w ussf & usys in the past year & at an upper level it hasn’t really changed much, even after the 2021 athletic report. i’m curious to see how they/if actually respond to this

& i think i just mean at a deeper level it’s pretty simple to connect the lack of bodily autonomy + subsequent abuse in us womens sport, especially soccer (overall an extremely privileged space to gain entry to, both domestically & globally) with, like at a surface level, what’s happening w spain’s nt. but beyond that, of course it’s about women & dfab ppl having say over their bodies — what we wear; how we move; who we want, & don’t want, to touch us; how we deserve to be spoken to; the spaces we go to for work, or school, or to have fun — that’s what’s at stake, & those are the things that continue to be harmed.

globally the issues are on an even more violent & terrifying scale, if you look at iran, india, even roe being overturned in the us — it isn’t safe to be anything but a cis man, anywhere. there’s 100% more that we could all be doing, & players like alex, players like tobin, can & probably should speak out more. but the issue isn’t individual women speaking out, or being believed or not being believed. it’s a system of white supremacy that deeply & violently continues to harm women & dfab ppl everywhere, in horrendously awful ways, that is making me angry & sad. to see it laid out in 172 pages, & to know a player (& person) i rly admire played basically in hell for like five years is deeply disheartening, obviously.

but i think the more we focus on the systemic issues & like, honestly, bringing in the questions of: ‘what does abolition look like? what does justice — transformative & restorative — look like?’ to sport, just like we do to our own politic, to communal care around covid, to disability justice, queer spaces, international solidarity & radical movements, etc — that’s the only way real change will happen. i care much less about one coach being fired — men, under this violent system of patriarchy & white supremacy, will always feel entitled to women’s bodies, to women’s lives. we see it everywhere, all the time; we see it on the streets in iran & we see it on the biggest stages in pro sports. one coach being fired, or one uproar even, doesn’t do anything to shift entire systems, ways of thought, & ecosystems of healing: even after complaints into 2021, lisa baird was still trying to make sure riley didn’t quit!!

so anyway, sure, alex, pinoe, becky, kelley, tobin — any of those players could & possibly should have spoken up in support. but i have no idea what conversations they as a collective had, or individually had with christen. it seems to me pretty futile to hold any deep anger with individual players & not with those in positions of power that, for at least 20 years in pro leagues in the us, have perpetuated abuse and/or protected abusers. & in terms of global solidarity, this isn’t at all a different fight. i do think, as one of my deepest core beliefs, that we protect us — because it’s clear that those in power won’t. but that responsibility, space, & ability looks different for a lot of people. i’m angry with people who blatantly disregard & continue to perpetuate harm, especially in this situation

anyway here’s charli loafing about in her new puppy couch (memory foam), keeping us all sane

[lionews]

“ Not entitled baby just wanted the Gon 😋🫶 If ur gonna get mad at what we do on a salt blog stop coming here” hi, just wondering, do you know how to read? did i say anything about those participating wanting the gon? i was literally talking about those who complain when shitty cubs are thrown to the tree. that thing in ur head?? use it babe!! people seem to forget that just because this is a salt blog, that it means nobody will clock them when they say some dumb shit. when you post anything here, expect feedback dude (that goes for me too)"

Unfortunately I do know how to read because I had to read that God awful ask. You do realize I was responding because I was the one that posted the ask Abt the tree cubs being groupies? Again I reiterate if you don't like what's posted here go away because you obviously aren't paying enough attention to the asks to begin with.

.