#useless spending is good when you're creating jobs

[cuntwrap--supreme]

My favorite quarry has been closed, which sucks because it's a great place to let my dog swim (her favorite thing to do). I finally remembered to look up what's going on. The city is spending 6mi to make it bougie. It's a fucking 100 year old quarry. It's purpose is for trashy people to go get wasted and jump off the 200ft cliff and die. They're completely paving over the entire thing and adding in, like, concessions and bathrooms and shit. And I'm normally ok with improvements. Bathrooms are definitely something I like to see at parks. But these aren't normal bathrooms. It's a bunch of single stalls that cost probably 20k each to build when you could also just build a normal toilet for 5k.... The whole project reeks of waste. Meanwhile, I'm out here driving on roads so piss poor that I've experienced better driving conditions in Mexico. I've driven on washed out country gravel roads that don't jostle me around so much. My car is so fucked from how bad the roads are. There's also a growing homeless problem because we're rated one of the least affordable cities in the nation due to TN having beef with paying much more than $13/hr but your average rent here being $1600/mo. But that's ok! We'll continue ignoring all that and spend a whole fuck ton improving a park (and by that I mean stripping it of everything that makes it cool). I can't do math to save my life, but I know for goddamn sure I'd do a hell of a lot more to actually improve shit than the argument for why this quarry needs to be destroyed. I'm just waiting for them to announce it's $10 a day to park, too.

[elllisaaa]

Seokmin bf thoughts!??!! Plzzzzz 🥺

BF!SEOKMIN who is so fucking whipped for you, and so cute and sweet, you don't know what you did to get so lucky.

i have to start by talking about his smile because he just has such a pretty smile, i would die for that smile. and even if he has that beautiful smile, seokmin's number one goal in life is to make you laugh and be happy. he's always ready to do some stupid things if it gets you to smile or giggle, and you never spend a day by his side without breaking down in laughter at least one time. seokmin is very caring and attentive to your every need. for example, he's always asking you about how your day went and he wants every little detail, even the ones you consider useless. he loves it when you share everything with him, and he gets so involved in every story or drama you tell him about - he remembers everything and he needs updates. seokmin will do the same though, telling you all about some dramas that happen behind the scenes. it's not rare for the both of you to gossip all night, and you're like two best friends who are talking about the same people over and over and finishing the session by "but who are we to judge them ?". seokmin is both your bestie and your boyfriend, and you love him for that.

"by the way babe, how did yooha's date go ?" - "it's a long story, sit down." - "oh my god, tell me all about it, i'm all ears !"

cuddles, cuddles and cuddles. so many cuddles because he needs to feel close to you all the time. he always seek your touch and your presence by his side. he especially loves it when you fall asleep when you're laying on his chest, and he might have some photos because you're just too cute. seokmin also loves to fall asleep on your chest sometimes - he gives a lot of love, but he needs to be loved too and just wants to be in your arms and feel your hands caress his back up and down to help him relax. his hugs are very soothing, and everytime you're not doing well, you know you just need to ask him to fall into his arms. seokmin takes pride into knowing that he's your safe place, and everytime you come to him, he feels like he did his job as your boyfriend. he texts you a lot throughout the day, to check in on you and update you on what happened to him. but the most important thing is the boyfriend material photos he sends you everyday. you lose your mind every time and when he finds out you keep a folder of these photos, he genuinely tears up. he lends you his clothes very often, his heart melting when he comes home to see you wearing his hoodie, all cozy on the couch. that only entices him into cuddling with you immediately, and you welcome him with open arms.

"it feels good to be home… i never want you to let me go, i'm too comfortable."

seokmin loves to try new places with you - be that cafés, restaurants, bakeries or even libraries. anything that the both of you love, you're going to go together and review it like you're professionals even if you're not. you both have a lot of fun during these hangouts. he also has gifted you a little box filled with tickets that you can give him anytime you want, and that means that he has to take you out on a date. seokmin literally has a list in his phone with everything he wants to do with you ready, and he always keeps the location you’re going to secret until the last minute. he never fails to tell you how pretty he thinks you are all the time, but when you dress up for a night out, he's even more extra. whenever you're stepping out of your bedroom in an outfit a little fancier than usual, he's the type to fake passing out because of how gorgeous you look. it never fails to make you laugh and it's seokmin's way of reminding you that he's not ashamed to show to the world how obsessed with you he is.

"wait, i need a second." - "seokmin, please, just tell me if it looks good or not." - "baby, i don't think good is strong enough, i need to create a new word to describe how beautiful you are."

BF!SEOKMIN who's whipped for you and your body and the way you make him feel, he just wants to make you feel as good as possible.

seokmin's only goal is to pleasure you as much as you want, and he does that perfectly. foreplay is on a whole different level with him - it's an art. sometimes he doesn't even need to push his cock into you for the both of you to feel satisfied. if he could die in between your thighs, he would, and once he gets a taste of you, he doesn't stop until you're a trembling mess and that his whole face is covered in your juices. seokmin also loves mutual masturbation, having his fingers deep inside of your cunt and your hand stroking his cock up and down while you're sitting on his thighs and making out with him is his definition of heaven. another form of foreplay that he likes is when you're riding his thigh, because let's be honest, he has such pretty thighs, it would be a crime not to use them. seeing you come undone on top of him is literally driving him crazy.

"that's so hot baby, you're so fucking hot, i could cum just looking at you…"

he's constantly complimenting you and your body, how sexy you are and how good you're making him feel. but seokmin also needs to hear that he's doing good for you too, it gets him going when you're calling him your good boy. you want to edge him even if he's so sensitive and that he doesn't think he can handle it ? he'll let you. you want him to keep fucking you after he's came already ? he'll do it. whatever it takes for you to tell him he's doing good, he will do it. seokmin actually loves how dominant you become whenever he asks you if he's doing well. suddenly, you become much more assertive and teasing, and it's so attractive for some reasons. the way you're telling him what to do and if he can cum or not is making him dizzy most days, and he craves your praise. even when he's the one on top, you're sometimes taking control and he lets you because he wants to please you.

"am i doing good ? please, tell me that i've been good…"

seokmin is obsessed with your whole body but your breast is something he can never get enough of. he encourages you to wear tops or dresses with deep cleavages only because it gives him a better view of your pretty tits. when you're wearing pretty lace bras that squish your boobs together just for him, he cannot resist the urge to bury his face in between them. your chest is constantly covered in bite marks and hickeys because seokmin just needs to have his mouth on them whenever he sees them. so naturally he would go crazy if you ever let him fuck your tits. the moment you push your boobs together to squeeze his dick in between them, he's going cross-eyed and he cannot stop moaning the whole time. the way you even let him cover your chest and face in his cum has him ready to go again even if he just orgasmed. generally, he prefers to cum on your chest anyway, pulling out just in time to let you stroke his dick and help him shoot his load onto your pretty tits.

"can i cum on your boobs pretty please ? fuck ! you look so beautiful like this, all mine."

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Hey, wanted to say I am in love with your work. Really fantastic! May I ask: Do you have any pieces of advice for inspiring CoG writers or Interactive Fiction writers? Thank you and can't wait for more.

Im absolutely welcome these types of asks as they help remind me of what ive learned myself. Im going to try and say what i think every aspiring writer should hear to help them start out. Here we go: 1) Ensure you know what how much youre writing from the very beginning and plan accordingly. If it is a smaller story, do not be super ambitious, use it as a starter game to learn the basics of choicescript and learn the social media aspect of producing a title. If it is a large story, say over 800k words long, then you NEED to have an outline for each arc to help you know A to B for the story beats. Make outlines upon outlines and you will be doing yourself a favor. ESPECIALLY when coding. 2) THIS ISNT LIKE WRITING TRADITIONAL NOVELS. Know that Interactive Fiction is frustrating to write. You can write 3k words for a choice group, and players will only see 500 words or less worth of content for that choice group. Do not feel disheartened, for it is what it is. Just know youre doing a good job providing content and playable interaction with choices! Just be aware and mindful of not injecting bad or useless content in these choices! Have it matter in some way, either to represent/flesh out the world, characters, who the MC is, consequences, relationship changes, and foreshadowing.

3) Do not get too caught up with reader interaction. Your main job is to write write write. Create a hard limit for how many asks you answer, how much time you spend interacting with readers, and know what type of questions you should answer. Simply put: Be strategic! There may be a great question, but it could be too spoilery or it could take too much of your time to answer. 4) I learned this the hard way. Do not release information about the ROs until you actually reach the part in the story we meet them. If i can go back in time, i wouldnt have announced mine so soon haha. Youre gonna be eager to share your work and talk about it, but youll only be shooting yourself in the foot with people who only seek romance from your game! Also, dont overshare about em. You could retcon something and a reader may get upset with the change. Keep it simple! 5) Set low goals. Do not overpromise. You will feel guilty for failing and it may/will affect you mentally and your willingness to write. 6) You are not perfect, and that's okay!!! I struggle with this (and honestly everything ive listed here), but reminding yourself that its okay to not be perfect will help. You're human. It's hard to remember, and take it seriously, but you have to try. 7) Choice of Games (and more specifically Hosted Games) offer amateur writers a chance to share their work with others. Though games are becoming more and more expansive and huge, don't feel like you HAVE to do the same. A Mage Reborn is widely considered to be one of the best titles to have come out in recent years, and is listed at having 160k words! Small package (160k is by no means small in any capacity, dont get it twisted) big impact! 8) Know what type of game and title youre writing. If your project is focused on romance, dont spend more than necessary on worldbuilding, action, or thematically unrelated things. Stick to what the focus is, and your strength! 9) Ask for help. Seriously. You are combining coding and writing, so there's bound to be errors and things you wont understand. The CoG forums and Twine communities are always ready to help. Reach out to the communities or other authors for help. Just remember that some may be too busy to really help, so don't feel disheartened if one doesnt have the time. There are others, and you usually only need one to say yes to help figure out what youre struggling with or why you keep getting that error message. 10) Understand that you are giving a piece of your soul out there. It sounds corny as hell, but it's the simple truth. There is literal risk involved as a creator, no matter if you write, develop, draw, sing, perform, etc. There's obviously the risk of spending too much time on a hobby or dream for too little gain, but what im referring to is the all too common story of a creative putting their heart and soul into something important to them, and receiving no attention or being told it sucks. It will damage you, and perhaps even break you. Because again, you may have given it your all. So please take care of your mental health. It's okay to retreat and stop for a while. That doesnt make you a failure. Most of us creatives do this because we love the subject, and want to share what we can with others that love the industry, hobby, or topic theyre in. Remember that love, and remember what made you fall in love enough to put yourself out there. Remember you started for the art and craft.

[natasha-in-space]

Random Mystic Messenger headcanons that live in my head rent-free

Some are angsty, some are cute - it's a mixed bag

- Zen enjoys doing skincare with you. It's a shared process. He lets you put sheet masks on him and, more than anything, he adores the feeling of being pampered by you. You two have a separate case just for your skincare products. His job makes it difficult sometimes to spend time with you, so knowing that, at the end of the day, he'll undoubtedly get to enjoy your company keeps him motivated throughout his practice. It's his favourite time of the day.

- More than anything else, Yoosung wants to feel content. All the days spent in front of his computer or cooped up listening to a boring lecture he doesn't care about eat away at him slowly but surely. His back aches from spending hours in a sitting position and he often collapses into his bed, feeling utterly useless and drained. Deep down, he knows that he's just burned out, but these ugly thoughts are just too loud to overcome with common sense. He feels like he goes through life blindly like he's in a thick fog clouding his vision and slowing down his movement. He fears disappointing his family if he speaks up about the way he feels and the crushing expectations put on him for being a star student in his school years are just the cherry on top of the cake. More than anything, he wants to breathe freely, without feeling like he's slowly being crushed under the heavy weight of his grief.

- Jaehee has shockingly good leadership skills! If push comes to shove, she can somehow manage to make even the oddest group of people come together to complete a task. When she gets in the zone, she has this natural charisma emanating from her, and you can't help but feel deep respect for her abilities. She just believes she's in no position to take the leading role most of the time, and it's only when you share your amazement for her skills with her does she first starts to reassess her own image of herself.

- Jumin's kisses are the gentlest touch you have ever felt in your entire life. Most of the time, he's so afraid that he's dreaming when he gets to kiss you like this. He's so terrified that he'll wake up in his bed all alone the next morning, only to realize that you were not real. He's incredibly tender when he presses his lips to yours, his thumb caressing the soft skin of your cheek to reassure himself that you're indeed right here, next to him. It's like he's wordlessly begging you to stay by his side, too afraid to speak those vulnerable words out loud.

- Saeyoung adores it when you let him rest his head on your lap. The feeling of your fingers lazily combing through his hair, as the warmth of your soft thighs beneath his cheek lulls him to sleep is heavenly to him. He feels so loved and safe pressed up against you like this that he actually cried the first time you did this for him. Whenever he gets nightmares, you offer him to rest his head on your lap as you hum soft lullabies to ease his worries.

- Jihyun is a huge fan of classical music. It's to the point where he barely listens to anything else. You'll have to introduce him to other genres of music yourself cause he's so stuck in his ways. This man is an old soul through and through. Though, it's not so bad when he sweeps you into a sweet waltz in the middle of a kitchen. He can create a fairytale like setting with such ease that it takes your breath away.

- Ray is a highly empathetic person without even realizing it. That's why he tries to avoid big crowds whenever he can. He feels so incredibly overwhelmed with all these different emotions clouding his mind and he has no idea where they're even coming from. It scares him and he feels like there's something inherently wrong with him. Still, that's why he can just know when you're feeling unwell. He comes into your room and instantly reads your mood without even having to ask. He can also tell whenever Rika's feeling disheartened, but she brushes him off whenever he offers to comfort her most of the time.

- Deep down, what Suit Saeran longs for the most is to be accepted even if he's not the strongest. He's not at all as confident as he presents himself to be. He can't get a single night of restful sleep without nightmares of his past haunting him. If you, somehow, get him to sleep next to you, he'll bury his face into your hair or back, crushing you in his arms. He'll never let you see his face. His mother is something he fears and hates the most, he despises the fact that she keeps torturing him even now when he tries so incredibly hard to be stronger. He feels so insecure whenever he berates you, tries everything that comes to mind to put you down, and you just look him straight in the eye and refuse to break. He wants you to cry, to get angry, to do something. Prove to him that you're that weakling he wants you to be, prove to him that you're not a good person. Because if you are a genuinely good person that just wants to help him from the bottom of their heart... what in the world is he doing? And what does it mean for him? He's desperately trying to keep his facade of animosity together, but you can see the terrified boy begging to be acknowledged underneath. He realizes he can never let you go when you see this weak side of him and still refuse to give up on him. That's the moment he realizes that he'll do whatever it takes to ensure your safety.

- GE Saeran's kisses convey all of his feelings for you. He doesn't hide anything from you, and you can perfectly feel it through his touch. He tends to break away from you to whisper soft 'I love you's onto your skin over and over again. There's no more darkness clouding his mind. Everything feels perfect, like this is where he was always meant to be. He pulls away, breathless, and smiles. He loves you. He loves you so much.

- VAE Ray's favorite time of the day is around 2-3 pm when everything is still warm under the sun and all you want is to curl up in your room for an afternoon nap. Especially in late Spring or early Autumn, when it's not too hot or too cold. His scars are still quite sensitive to harsh weather, so he has to spend a lot of time indoors whenever the temperatures get too high or low for his comfort. He finds respite in short naps he can enjoy tucked in next to you on those days. Nightmares rarely bother him during the day, so he enjoys this peaceful slumber he gets to experience, while feeling your scent surrounding him in a cocoon of safety more than anything else.

- Unknown actually loves emoticons. That is, once you taught him how to use them properly. He has a bunch of them saved up in his notes so he does not need to go searching for the ones he needs. It's surprisingly hilarious cause he loves using them whenever you get on his nerves and he just does not want to waste his precious energy on typing out his responses. You just get a single: '(⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)', and that's how you know you're in trouble. Uses happy ones as a threat. You never knew seeing a notification of '◉⁠‿⁠◉' on your phone could make shivers crawl up your spine, but Unknown somehow manages to do exactly that.

- SE Saeran loves going out shopping with you. He rarely ventures outside for something like this alone, but with you, it's different. He can focus on your company next to him, and the world around him does not feel as overwhelmingly suffocating as it usually does. He still has a lot to learn about the modern world and that's what these trips to the convenience stores are meant for. You never once judged him for not knowing something basic or feeling confused by mundane details of day-to-day life. He's free to ask away and learn about the world around him, and that's exactly what he does. It's nothing big, and he does not want to do anything super exciting that will exhaust him at the end of the day. Simply taking a walk hand in hand through the local stores in your own pace is more than enough for him.

- Rika has incredible reflexes. Something could fall off the balcony while she's taking a walk through the garden with you, and she'll catch it without even taking her eyes off you for a second. It's practically impossible to catch her by surprise. She's so used to paying attention to every little detail in the environment around her that it became an autopilot for her. While it amazes you at first, you can't help but wonder what kind of life she must have lived to develop such high awareness of possible dangers both to herself and those around her. Your heart clenches in your chest at the thought.

- Vanderwood listens to a ton of rock and heavy metal. Iron Maiden, AC/DC, Aerosmith... Those are their go-to. They're very protective of their interests, so if they're willing to share their earbuds with you? Consider that one of the highest signs of their trust in you. It's so cute how they're glancing your way from time to time, as if to check whether or not you're enjoying the music. They'll gladly listen to your favorites as well. Music is something that helps them a lot whenever everything gets too hard to bear, so it's way more personal than it may seem at first glance.

Bonus round for my oc's!

- Natasha took a very long time to talk as a child. Her mother even considered taking her to the hospital cause she was getting highly concerned for her daughter, but, thankfully, things never turned for the worst in that regard. She was two years old when she spoke her first words and it was 'gobble gobble', cause she was watching a programme about turkeys at the time. She was running around gobbling like a tiny turkey for a good week or so after that.

- Chaewon's favorite fruit is pomegranate because she thought that the top part looked like a beautiful crown as a child. She even tried wearing it on her head once only to fail miserably. Rika's the only one who knows about this childhood story of hers and ever since learning it, she started brewing pomegranate tea whenever they have their meetings in her quarters.

[interlacrimas]

Love in your blade - chapter 1 the new job

Once you are born a disgrace, you always will be a disgrace. That always been very clear to me. Not even the biggests of the efforts could make me ever be worthy, not even magic itself did…still, I need something for my unneeded survival… even if I am not valuable enough for the mere act of being alive, it is in my unholy nature to beg to live.

I've woken up early, and looked at the ceiling, that was almost falling, falling together with my hope, i've stared at it silently, for at least 10 minutes straight

“Why am I even alive…Is just to remind me of how useless I am? Or do I actually am deserving of anything…” Until i reminded myself, that spending so much time immerse in my own thoughts is a privilege i will never have, I quickly dress up, on my New uniform for my new job, it is way fancier then my other clothes, I was terrified of having to pay for these, i couldn't afford it, even if I save money for 2 years straight, i was relieved at receiving not only the clothes, but free food as well, it's rare for the royalty to show any kindness

I went walking towards the almighty castle, leaving the house 30 minutes before my shift, the long road didn't gave me the luck of eating breakfast before going to work.

Until I was there…“Wow…this is…stunning…! I've never seen something as shiny as that…”

“Could you stop admiring the castle and come to work?” Someone tall yell at me, probably my superior, i just nodded and enter, following them, my job was cleaning that giant building…daily…I can already feel the back pain, but i'm not in the place to wine about it

The hours went quickly as i sweep the place and its most varied corners, making sure each place is clean, i was just hoping i wouldn't get fired in my first day, no one gave me instructions about the place, i've found myself lost many times, why did it need to be so big…is it to make sure we are aware of how inferior we are to them?

It was almost night, and i was on the last floor…finally, the place sure was fancy, the paintings were marvelous, just like if each detail had been discussed and had hard thought about its meaning when suddenly i just felt myself falling down to the stairs, my eyes widen as i felt no control to my body, i already accepted defeat, or i would have a severe injury, or i would broke something i couldn't pay even if i sell my lungs, or, in the best hypothesis, I would die and finally rest for a bit…until i felt my hand being touched, and i wasn't falling anymore

The person holding my sweaty and dirty hands were using fancy clothings, and a crown, my eyes widen at knowing it was the king himself…i was just hoping that if he was going to kill me, that he left me fall, and not take my head out…the king stared at me for a couple of seconds till he says:

“Your eyes are pretty unique, you know?”

I was totally surprised at that comment…that surely wasn't what i expected

“Are they contact lens?”

I've created courage to answer the fancy looking man

“No…its a long story, to summarize…magic”

the man quickly push me back to the ground, as we get closer i take one step back and look at him, sweating a little

“I don't see how someone like you could ever get involved with magic, thought…”

“It didn't make much result with it …your majesty? Im sorry but i'm not aware if you're…like…the king or something?”

“I am, i thought it was Basic knowledge to a citizen of this kingdom"

“When you have almost anything to survive, your priority has nothing to do with the king and his fancy life…”

Crap, I said this out loud…! My head is gone for good…He stared at me and smirked at himself;

“You're very brave to say that to me, peasant.”

Maybe i was being to kind to myself, not only my head is gone…i can already be seen as dead…its the end

“I appreciate that, no one ever talked like that to me, brave idiot”

“Hm…you're welcome? I guess…” i said relieved, at least i will keep my head in place for a little longer 

“And about your situation, i will take care of it, you can spend your days here while you work here, you don't need to pay for nothing, is this already a great help?”

My eyes shined, my heart beating faster, as i open my mouth in disbelief, my eyes widen, as i stare at the king himself, offering a room for me to stay, why…? Did I hit the jackpot or something? I couldn't allow myself to question it, its too good to be true…but im fine with beautiful lies, i've seen hope for the first time, i could only say one thing for him, show him how much grateful I was.

"Thank you…thank you so much, your majesty!”

"don't thank me, by the way, i'm assuming you don't know my name, if you had a hard time figuring my position in the kingdom”

“yeah…i really don't know” i said with a shy smile, embarassed

“Fuyuhiko kuzuryuu, and you, who are you, mister commoner?”

“Hajime…hajime hinata.”

“See you again soon, hajime hinata” He left quickly, down to the stairs, and reminded myself i had work to do, i've cleaned the last floor, with a new income about the situation

Maybe everything will be fine after all…

[mayarsh]

@fantasythetrashywriter SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETE YOUR ASK. I'll answer it here, sorry, pal..

What is your nickname?

Maya, but feel free to give me your own nickname ;)

When is your birthday?

9 May

What was your longest relationship?

Errr, i never date anyone so, with my parents, ig

What is your favorite book?

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, Black Butler series by Yana Toboso, and all of Dazai Osamu's works.

What is something you're insecure about?

How fragile my body is. But overall, i'm pretty grateful at myself ^^

5 Female celebrity crushes

None, it's hard for me to get a crush at anyone i barely know

5 Male celebrity crushes

Well, i do had a crush on my best friend but, he's not a celebrity. Soo, none at all :)

What is your dream job?

ANIMATOR 🗣️🔥🔥🔥

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

Accidentally created the most toxic relationship that somehow complements each other between my ocs.

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

Nobody in my school would believe that i'm not the 'obedient and genius' kid. Like, what the hell???

I tried expressing them my true side, stopped acting and just being myself but everyone just goes, "You've change because you played with X. You're not the one i've known anymore". Golly... Looks like they prefer to see me keep pretending.

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

My mental health keeps getting better, yipeee! My ptsd didn't get triggered much often, yay =w= ♪

But, my friends will soon graduate. I know i should be happy for them, but i can't help but feel sad knowing they'll leave :"<

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

I'd love to visit Japan and see the blooming sakura with my own eyes. But for now, i really want to visit a library and a bookstore, which my small town didn't have TwT

How do you de-stress?

Listening music, watching my favourite vtuber's streams, and opening tumblr

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

Errr, maybe Youtube, Magia Record, or Pokemon Unite 😅

Describe yourself in one sentence.

No thought, my head filled with ocs

What do you think makes you attractive?

My skill at gaming, lmao

Or how much i cared about others, ig

What is something you're really good at?

I've answered it here

What is something you're really bad at?

Any physical activities and memorizing things

A time that you told a lie.

I despise lying, but being honest all the time will get you into much troubles. So if it's necessary, i only tell half-truth.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

For the random fact, if you're a japanese student and someone puts a flower on your desk, that means they're wishing for your demise because putting flower on someone's desk is a way to honour that desk owner's death

And for the useless fact, with or without seatbelt, you'll die in a car crash

I just think that's interesting, thx goodness i'm not a japanese student or owning a car :)

Who knows you the best?

Few of my close friends. I feel safe near them and they accept me for who i am :"D

What is your most prized possession?

N & Zorua fastener accessory charm and a Zorua plushie i bought online!

(ps. I heard that the Zorua plushie came from an UFO catcher.. dunno what's that, but i bought the plush for 300k idr. I spend my lifesaving on that and never regret that decision, teehee >v<)

What is your longest friendship?

I befriended a boy since elementary and we're still best friend until this very second! Our friendship keeps getting better from time to time =w=

When did you first feel like an adult?

After finished my playthrough of Pokemon White and starts to see everything as shades of grays, metaphorically

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

Yeah. Though, i'm only good at chess

How are you feeling right now?

Kinda sick, but i'm fineee~♪/srs

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl for life!

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Maybe for some people that thing was true, but i find it hard to believe. Falling in love with someone you've just met?? Even without knowing them as a person???

How. Is. That. Possible!!???

Favorite song lyrics right now?

I've also answered it here

What does self care look like for you?

Doing things you love (even if it's your guilty pleasure)

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

Ado, Trickle, and Rachie

(ps. I want to add Kikuo, but then remember that he's not a singer, but a vocaloid producer. Oh my..)

What makes you nervous?

When standing on a stage and everyone satres at me and when thinking about my crush (the funny part is, when i'm near him, i didn't feel nervous at all, lol)

What’s a pet peeve you have?

Having trouble at understanding emotions and worrying too much about future.

What will always make you cry?

That one scene in Rebellion where Homura 'worships' Ultimate Madoka/Madokami. The way the Chiwa Saito delivers her line and the track Dream World being played in the background. It feels like experiencing it as Homura herself :"<

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

Uhh, dunno. Maybe the way i talk? Or how i look? I honestly don't know how to answer this one :"D

[redfoxdiary]

How to art with Adhd

This is something i've realized is difficult. Any job is difficult with Adhd. Staying on task is hard enough, task switching, and prioritizing is also difficult. There is so much to do, and so much that can be done. There is always something to do and Adhd brains put it in the all important or none...or wrong priority order entirely. Doing things daily is something that I found I can do for a few months at a time for a certain duration before it slips...and usually stays gone.

Im trying to get back into doing art and potentially making my own business out of it, which requires much self discipline...something that is tricky. What im going to try to do is create a backlog. Make lists of things that I want to get done, but give really general or long timespans to achieve these things. E.g monthly or even yearly. Not sure if this will work, but trying something is better than trying nothing. At least for me.

Remember ADHD has weaknesses for sure, but...it also has strengths, remember that time when you had to cram for school, a test, an exam...you got distracted an left it until the last minute, then by some miracle you passed or even did well? That time when you blitz cleaned your house because you were guilty and your parents were coming to visit the next day? Yeah, those moments. Some people, neurotypicals even...might spend months of daily self-disciplined study and still not achieve those things. They might cram and forget to do the one thing that was most important to get done. Believe and trust in your own intelligence. We have lived our lives falling, and learning to catch ourself, to keep up with the rest of the neurotypicals around us. We've learned how to catch up usually very quickly and in as little time as possible if we fall behind. Out of necessity. We had very good deductive reasoning and learn very quickly. E.g you got called on by the teacher/boss to answer a question at work/school. You have literally a few seconds to figure out what is going on because you weren't paying attention, you see what page other people are on in their books, or you look at the board to get context clues, you remember the last topic you were all talking about and go from there. If you still can't find the right answer or question, you might probe a little more, reach out for the extra context clues you're missing give a thoughtful "Hmmmm" even an "im not sure" or "I was just wondering/thinking about that" and depending on the reaction you might be able to then deduce where everyone is at. You can then catch yourself up to speed. You not only just learned the information you missed out on while you were distracted or zoning out, but also ways, tools and tricks on how to catch yourself, and catch up in future...the more tools you learn, the faster you become at using them. Even the "weaknesses" can become strengths depending on how you look at it. I might hyperfocus on research about one particular aspect of art, or get distracted and watch videos on art which then turns into videos on gaming or cooking...again though...is that really a loss? One day I might want to draw food, and i'll use that information as reference, or maybe I might want to do pixel art and 3D graphics and watching youtubers playing a game will show me what they most enjoy, and how they navigate a space, what they're drawn to explore, where there eyes are attracted to, what evokes emotions from them about what they're seeing. For me, I treat everything as a learning experience, and no knowledge is useless knowledge. Just because I am not using it right now, doesn't mean that I will never need it. There's absolutely no way I could possibly ever know that its useless and i'll never need or want to use it :)

[female-malice]

ngl for a long time i thought hustle culture was just about working hard in general and like i respect hard work and it has to be done for the community but i didn’t realize it was about like getting a bunch of useless garbage i thought it was like just doing your job bc if you don’t you’ll starve and i mean that in a basic sort of farming way like chickens are going to hatch eggs it’s up to us to collect them sort of vibe (sorry if you’re vegan you can substitute that with like berries will grow and it’s up to us to harvest them or whatever)

Honestly, even that type of rugged stoic individualist hard work is unnatural.

Ecosystems are better at creating food than humans are. Hunter/gatherer/agroforestry communities had everyone working together to eat and live well. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. The whole ecosystem. Every critter. So humans didn't have to do much. They worked like 4 hours a day and made art and music for the rest of the day.

But monocrop agriculture really fucked everything up for everyone globally. Instead of having an entire ecosystem help grow food, it was just humans growing food. Humans had to do all the work. Suddenly, we had to work all day long just to eat. And that's why we needed to have so many children. We kicked the ecosystem out of our backyard and then created tons of humans to try and mimic an ecosystem. And despite our constant effort, we could never account for everything the way an ecosystem can. So land would degrade and we would need more land. This system was never better than hunter/gatherer/agroforestry. But it was more populous and majority rules.

Ocean sunfish are fail organisms who survive because they have 300 million babies every year. And monocrop agriculture is the ocean sunfish of human resource systems. So monocrop agriculture won as the dominant global resource system. Ugh.

Whatever. Then we got machines. We could've used the machines to let us go back to our 4 hour workday. But instead, capitalists kept us working all day long and pocketed all the extra cash.

So the entire hustle culture "work hard to live" bullshit is just cultural abuse. That's just a capitalist culture actively abusing and exploiting you. Daily life should not be hard. Daily life should be about strengthening bonds and relationships and creativity and resource networks. It should be fun and relaxing, natural and easy.

Daily life needs to be easy now more than ever because the holocene is over. Earth has been running on easy mode for 12,000 years. Humans happened to globalize some terrible systems over the last 1,000 years. But oh well. We could put up with Bad Society because at the end of the day, it was still Easy World. Victorian children could work the factories because they knew the sweetness of springtime would comfort them each year. Society may have been cruel, but Earth was kind and stable.

Well, Easy World is done. Now we're in Hard World. If you're one of those people that needs to visit nature once a month to feel sane, guess what? The nature is going to start making you feel insane. Natural disasters and diseases will start picking up speed. It will be unrelenting. If we have to deal with Hard World and Bad Society at once, we'll break. Our brains can't handle that.

Daily life needs to be easy so we can be mentally prepared to handle Hard World events. Every day your home and health isn't destroyed, you need to spend that day cultivating joy and bonding with people. You shouldn't be wasting your time stockpiling goods and money because that will literally be useless. A natural disaster could destroy all of that. And then what will you have? Nothing. The only wealth that matters in Hard World is quality relationships and joy. And I mean real quality relationships and real joy. Most of us have only experienced those things a few times growing up in Bad Society. It takes real work and intention to cultivate that and create Good Society.

[mydissociativediaries]

5/17/2024: Baby

When I was a teenager (probably 14), I didn't practice good hygiene. I don't know WHY. Maybe it was depression or just something wrong with my brain, as per usual. I didn't see the point.

Mom was pissed when she found out that I wasn't using soap, so one night, she went in there while I was in the bathtub and squirted body wash on me and kept swiping at me with a washcloth. I kept [action] and pulling away. Humiliating situation.

Dad came in there and yelled at me in this certain tone of voice, maybe a combination of rage and embarrassment? "Your mother's in here bathing you, bathing you like you're a little baby in the sink, and you're [action] at her." He said more, but I can't remember now.

Baby part two.

After they left, I heard my parents talking about me in the living room, discussing how I wasn't doing chores. "So she's been getting paid for doing nothing," Dad said. "Well, she hasn't been getting paid," Mom said. Later, Dad said, "She has got to learn some responsibility, instead of spending eight hours on the computer all day."

I lay in the bathtub and stewed in self-loathing until the water was cold, my fingers and toes were wrinkly and the soap created small, thick bubbles on the surface of the water.

I still remember how I felt. Totally numb with a side of self-hatred. That time felt like it would never end. I was nothing. Useless. Bad. A piece of shit. Humiliated. And dirty, too. Feelings, once vibrant when I was young, became a grey fuzz. Nothing on the inside, nothing on the outside. Not anymore.

I was acting like a baby again, but this wasn't a fun, happy time where Mommy bathes her giggling child in the sink, sunlight streaming through the kitchen window.

Nope...just a dark, miserable incident with a bratty, spoiled teenager who had checked out from reality. Unclean and unhygienic. And crazily enough, that wasn't her biggest issue. There were SO many things wrong with her.

"Baby" is an insult when you're no longer a baby.

And she had her time to be one, but, at 14, she should've been enjoying an active social life, hanging out with friends, focusing on schoolwork and having some extracurricular activities. Getting ready to drive when she turned 16 and landing her first job. Thinking about touring colleges.

Why was she going through infancy and toddlerhood again? Why did she spent eight hours on the computer when she didn't have school instead of leaving the goddamned house?

I was becoming nothing. I am nothing. I never left that bathtub. I'm still in there, thinking about how much I hate myself and listening to my parents complain about me as my personality dissolves.

And writing about it doesn't make me feel much better. I think it's too late for anything to feel better, or feel good.

Thanks for reading,

👶

[magicbystarlight]

Before I Knew You - Part Four

Masterlist, Part One

Summary: You’ve spent years training under Madam Pomfrey in the hopes that you would join the Healers at St. Mungo’s at graduation. But in the aftermath of the death of Albus Dumbledore, you chose to join the Order instead. When you're forced into hiding, you find yourself alone with Bill Weasley and his new wolfish tendencies.

Word Count: 3173

Warnings: 18+, Drinking, brief mentions of past sexual experiences, major injury, blood, mentions of death. Minors DNI.

Before I Knew You Tag List: @believinghurts @frozenwisteria @maralisa124

HP Tag List: @bamboozledflamplant @charmingandfantasticfics

Bill was gone by the time you got back downstairs, as were Mr. Weasley and the twins. Work. They got to live in the real world, clock in and out to jobs, walk freely down Diagon Alley. You were stuck hiding, a price probably on your head already. But at least you weren't alone anymore.

For the first time in weeks you didn't have to spend your days working a field of crops that would ultimately become useless. You got to sit and talk with Charlie, catching up on all the things you'd missed over the last year when your letters had been few and far between. Ron and Ginny weren't bad company either, though Ron tended to disappear at odd times throughout the day. Mrs. Weasley had chastised you at least half a dozen times about calling her Molly before the sun had even started to set. It took your mind off the thought of Bill.

Until he came home and avoided even looking at you the entire evening. You wanted to confront him. Did he think you were to incompetent to do your job? Did he not trust you? You wanted to know. It wasn’t fair that he got to go out and do things to aid in the war effort and help the Order while he denied you the right to do the one thing you could. You were a Healer and a damn good one considering your age. But he slipped out of the room while you weren't paying attention and didn’t come down the rest of the night.

It continued like that for another three days. Your days being filled at the Burrow with helping to prep the home for the wedding that would take place there in nearly a week while your evenings were spent being given the cold shoulder by the eldest Weasley child. You wanted to scream in frustration.

The fourth day, the day before the Order would retrieve Harry Potter, brought another guest to the Weasley home. Hermione Granger arrived with much fanfare from Ron and Molly midday Friday. It gave you a reprieve the rest of the day from cleaning and organizing and creating decorations. You didn't even notice Bill hadn't returned home with the other men, too engrossed in conversation with Hermione about healing spells and the best way to store Dittany throughout dinner. It wasn't until you and Hermione sat outside with the other Weasley children around a small fire pit did he appear, two bottles of Gigglewater in hand.

"'Bout time you got here," George joked, he and his twin already conjuring sticks and stones and Transfiguring them into shot glasses. "Thought we were gonna have to try and sneak into Mum's cabinet or something. What are we playing tonight?"

"Whatever it is," Hermione said, staring distastefully at the alcohol in Bill's hands, "You can count me out. I had a rather long day and I think I ought to go to bed. Ron?"

Ron looked longingly at the bottles for a moment before Hermione cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah, yeah. 'Mione's right. Long day and all, I should, uh, should go to bed too." You and Charlie shared an amused glance with each other as the two walked away, the twins's and Ginny's wolf whistles turning Ron's ears bright pink.

"So, what game?"

"How about Never Have I Ever?" Ginny offered.

Fred clapped his hands loudly. "Yes, Gin, excellent idea! Any objections?"

You thought about objecting, a sour taste still left on your tongue from his lack of tact earlier in the week. He'd never apologized to you and you doubted he even realized he'd hurt Bill. But you figured Fred would just find another way to antagonize you if chose a different game. "I'm in."

A chorus of agreement rang out and soon you each had a full shot glass in front of you ready to play. Ginny had slipped into the void left by her brother and his friend next to you, Bill on her other side and Charlie at yours while the twins were opposite you. The questions started innocently enough.

"Never have I ever cheated on a test," Bill said. You drank to that.

"Never have I ever fallen off a broom," Ginny laughed. You drank to that too.

"Never have I ever ridden a dragon," you said, mouth dropping in amazement when Charlie didn't drink. "You've never ridden a dragon?" He shook his head, claiming his job was to take care of them not ride them.

The twins surprised you that round, their own "Never have I ever" being tame. Ginny's turn came up again. "Never have I ever kissed a woman." All the boys drank. So did you.

“Bloody hell, who? When? Can it happen again?” Fred asked, leaning in.

You could already feel the buzz of the Gigglewater. “Cho Chang, Fourth Year. Dated a couple weeks. And definitely not.”

“Cho? Wow, you and Harry have–

“Fred,” Bill warned, “leave it alone.”

Fred opened his mouth to say something anyways, but seemed to decide better of it when his eyes drifted to his sister. “Fine, your turn, Y/N.”

“Never have I ever set off fireworks in the Great Hall.” Both twins drank to that.

“Never have I ever kissed a man.” You, Ginny, George, and Bill drank.

“Never have I ever had sex with a man,” George said, his tone not as enthusiastic as it had been. You and Bill downed your glasses.

Ginny brought her glass up to her lips, her brothers tensing. A smirk pulled at her lips as she sat the glass back down, untouched. “Gotcha.”

The laughter that followed was cut short as Fred said, “Never have I ever had sex with a Death Eater.” The fire crackled loudly in the silence as Fred stared at you expectantly. But you didn’t budge. “Come on, you’ve got to drink at that.”

“He didn’t have the Mark.” It was Bill who spoke. “And that’s way too fucking far.”

You swirled the drink in your glass. “It’s fine. He’s curious. Which one’s caught your eye, Fred? Dolohov? Lestrange? One of the Malfoys perhaps?”

A barking laugh came from Fred. “Nice to see someone’s got a sense of humor around here.”

“Game’s over,” Bill said, already Vanishing the glasses and bottles. “Got an important day tomorrow and, unless you want me to have Mad Eye replace you, you better get to bed.”

Fred was the only one to protest, his siblings all standing already. “Come on,” George said to him, taking his arm to drag him to his feet and back into the Burrow. Ginny followed behind them. You didn’t look at either of the men left with you as you continued to sit in front of the fire.

Charlie spoke to you softly, “I’m, I’m gonna go inside, alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.”

As the sounds of Charlie’s footsteps faded, Bill took over the space next you his brother had vacated. Neither of you said anything for a long time. It was…comforting. You hated that.

“He shouldn’t have brought that up.”

You continued to watch the smoke of the flames twirl up into the dark. “It is what it is. He hounded me about Cillian before all this, I don’t see him dropping it now.” Fred’s idea of humor could be more malicious than funny at times. George too, though to a lesser extent.

“I’ll have a talk with him. It won’t happen again.” Bill’s voice was confident and edged with finality. It sounded like a kind notion, Bill Weasley taking on his role of the Gryffindor Protector for a meek little Hufflepuff. But you weren’t meek.

“This isn’t some sibling spat you need to referee, Bill. Cillian is going to be brought up. Again and again. By Fred, the Order, and who knows who else. I’m perfectly capable of handling it.”

You finally looked over at him, trying not to focus on the fact that his hair was the same colors as the flames or that the firelight danced in his blue eyes.

“You shouldn’t have to handle it. I’ll talk to whoever I have to talk to about it, but it’s not fair for you to have to keep reliving it.”

An annoyed huff came through your teeth. “No,” you said. “No it’s not fair. But nothing in my life right now is fair. Even if I didn’t have Corbin on my ass, wanting me dead, how long do you think it would take for someone like me to need to go into hiding? If I would even get the chance? I’m a Mudblood. We’ve already started disappearing, our families too. Until this war is over or I’m dead, uncomfortable conversations and bad jokes are the least of my concern.”

“I–

“No. You don’t get to sit there and act like some protective big brother,” he flinched at the words, “when you’ve spent nearly a week ignoring me entirely. You won’t even let me do my job, the only thing I have left of my life that is mine.”

His mouth opened and shut a few times, floundering under your gaze. “It’s complicated.”

“No shit it’s complicated! That’s why I’m here. Because of the danger the Order puts themselves in when most of you could go on and live comfortably otherwise. Because of you.” Days of pent up frustration and confusion cracked your voice. “I want to do my part for this war even if it means going head first into a fight. But I especially want to do what I’m good at and trained for. Maybe I can barely hold my own in a duel, but I can identify a spell’s signature on skin hours after it hit. I can heal broken bones, regrow limbs, and reverse the effects of a potion with absolutely no information about the potion itself. And if given the chance, I could probably find a remedy or at least placate the symptoms for whatever you’re going through.”

His jaw went rigged, his back straightening. "I'm not going through anything. I had some anxiety, that's it."

You had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes. His reaction was that of a patient hiding information. You knew it well. "That's a load of shit," you said standing. "Good night, Bill."

“Please stay,” he said, his voice on the edge of pleading.

You didn’t look at him as you said, “Like you told the others, tomorrow’s an important day. Better get to bed.”

Not long after you shut yourself in your room, you heard the floor creak outside your door. It was silent for several moments before whoever was there walked away.

The rising sun brought reality with it. The Burrow was unusually quiet throughout the day, despite the arrival of several Order members. Remus and Tonks were the first to show shortly after breakfast, Hagrid before lunch in a roaring, flying motorcycle accompanied by two Thestrals, not that you could see if he actually was or not, and Kingsley not long after. Alastor was the last to show, tugging along a man you'd never seen before. He was short, with baggy brown eyes and a terrible odour of tobacco. He was the unreliable Mundungus they'd spoken about your first night.

It was seven thirty, an hour after dinner had finished, when you watched the thirteen people disappear into the sky. "No one outside the Order knows the plan. Even if they've got lookouts, having seven Potters will throw them off," Remus had assured you. It had done little to squash your fears that some of them may not make it back. The Death Eaters had proven themselves ruthless.

You stood staring into the sky long after they'd already disappeared, as did Ginny and Molly. When the sky began to darken, Molly ushered you both inside saying, "It'll take them a couple hours, we should finish getting everything prepared."

Prepared. You wanted to laugh at the word. The Order's stock of potions wasn't horrible but it lacked in some key areas. Dark Magic was your biggest concern and most of what you had would do very little to help those kinds of injuries. Besides setting up the makeshift first aid area in the living room, the only thing left was to wait. You'd only spent thirty minutes inside before both you and Ginny were watching the sky again.

"Everyone will be alright," she said after some time. "They'll be back soon."

They weren't. Minutes dragged into hours. They should have been back already. A rusty oil can appeared from a blue light, no occupants holding it. Ron and Tonks had missed their portkey. An old sneaker appeared five minutes later. Arthur and Fred. By time the third blue light illuminated the sky, you expected it to be empty.

But Hargid's unmistakable figure crashed onto the ground along with who you assumed was Harry. That was the plan. But after four people had gone missing, you weren't sure what was left of the plan. Molly ran to them first, asking questions. Death Eaters had been waiting for them. Voldemort had been waiting for them. Hagrid asked for some brandy and Molly hurried back into the home to retrieve as Ginny explained to Harry the now more worrisome information about those who had yet to come back.

As Ginny had predicted, a blue light appeared a minute after Molly reappeared with the brandy. Remus and George appeared spinning and falling. Your feet moved automatically towards them. George was covered in blood. Harry was right behind you, grabbing onto George's legs to help Remus carry him in while you performed any and every spell off the top of your head to staunch the bleeding. You didn't need Remus's hurried words to know that his ear had been cursed off.

As George was laid on the couch, you could see Remus dragging Harry away. For what, you couldn't say, too focused on the wound in front of you. It was one you recognized, the same spell had been used on Draco Malfoy a year earlier by Harry. It made staunching the bleeding easier. Molly hovered over you, quiet tears splattering on your ankles as you knelt beside the couch.

"He'll be alright. His hearing will be impacted, but he won't lose it entirely," you said as you finished cleaning the wound. There was little else you could do for the gaping hole. He was alive, at least. "He's going to need some water and something to eat when he wakes up. After that, we can give him a vial of Blood Restore Potion to help."

She just nodded silently at you, taking up your vacated spot in front of George. You left outside not long after Arthur and Fred made their way in. During your time tending to George, Kingsley, Tonks, Hermione, and Ron had also arrived. You half listened as they recounted their own stories of the night, your eyes on the sky. Kingsley left at some point and Arthur and Molly came out of the Burrow now that their injured son was awake.

Bill and Charlie finally appeared, seeming to float on air. A tension in your chest loosened as your eyes fell over them. Safe. Molly slammed into her sons, hugging them tightly. "Bill! Charlie! Thank Godric, thank Go—"

Bill and Charlie's expressions didn't change. Bill looked directly at his father and said, "Mad Eye's dead."

Impossible. Alastor was the most experienced, had fought dozens of Death Eaters in his life. If anyone would have survived that kind of ambush, it would have been the ever prepared Mad Eye.

“We saw it,” Charlie said, his face tear stained. “It happened just after we broke out of the circle: Mad Eye and Dung were close by us, they were heading north too. Voldemort—he can fly—went straight for them.”

Bill continued, “Dung panicked. I heard him cry out, Mad Eye tried to stop him, but he Disapparated. Voldemort’s curse hit Mad Eye full in the face, he fell backward off his broom and—there was nothing we could do, nothing, we had half a dozen of them on our own tail—”

Bill’s voice broke. You wanted to comfort him, but you doubted he'd want that. He'd witnessed death, barely escaping it himself. Besides, you doubted you could say much before you broke down. Alastor had been your friend in the short time you'd known him. He couldn't be gone. Not Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody.

“Of course there was nothing you could have done,” Remus said. Neither Weasley looked comforted by that.

The group shuffled back inside the Burrow as there was no one left to wait for. Fred and George were laughing until they heard the news, their demeanors falling into shock. Tonks was crying, Remus’s arm around her. Molly and Arthur held each other’s hands. Hermione leaned against Ron. Ginny had crowded herself between Harry and Charlie. Hagrid sat off by himself, the empty bottle of brandy still in his hands. Bill went straight to the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of Firewhiskey and glasses.

With a wave of his wand, he sent thirteen full glasses soaring through the air. One for each of you. He held his up. "Mad Eye."

"Mad Eye," everyone echoed, downing their drinks.

The burn was welcome. It shoved the nausea down. Talk of Mundungus and betrayal filled the room, but, like the rest of the night, you couldn't focus on the conversation. Your eyes roamed the room, silently appraising each inhabitant. They all seemed fine and there were none of the tell tell signs of being struck by a curse, but shock was still a possibility. Imperius was too. They'd each get a quick diagnostic before bed, Kingsley too when you saw him again.

"No, I'll do it. I'll come," Bill said. No.

Charlie added, "Me too."

"Where are you going?" Tonks asked, wide eyes flicking between the men. "Mad Eye's body. We need to recover it," Remus answered.

Molly's voice was full of concern as she spoke, "Can't it—"

"Wait?" Bill asked rhetorically. "Not unless you'd prefer the Death Eaters got it first."

"Him," you said. Bill's eyes met yours, his blue eyes bloodshot. "Him, not it. He's still Mad Eye."

He nodded. "Him." The three men said their goodbyes, Charlie promising his mum he'd be back before dawn. You slipped out with them, saying you were just going to walk them out. Even if you didn't have evaluations to do and a Weasley to look after overnight, it was doubtful Bill and Remus would allow you to go.

Just before the boundary, you checked the three men for any signs of being under the Imperious, unsurprised but relieved when the results were all negative. "Be careful," you said as they stepped over the invisible border. Charlie gave a nod, Remus too.

"We'll be back," Bill promised. Your stomach twisted knowing it was empty.

Then they were gone.

Bonus Part: Him, Not It

Next

[anischa22]

Clavis' Passionate Ending is good for fangirling 😆

Scene that makes my heart flutter and laughing hard :

MC headbutting Clavis

When Obsidian people (the rebels) rejoice when Clavis shows his sword

Sariel who is really worried about MC for running with Clavis

MC and Cyril who go around the city to spend money of the second richest prince in Rhodolite *cough*

Dress party for MC with with slits to show off her legs and Clavis just dodged with "I'm a leg man, not a chest man" lol

Clavis showing his weak side to MC before the day of rebellion arrives and MC cheers him on then Clavis put his head on her shoulder aww~🤧

Mc who had to part with Clavis because Clavis had to fulfill his agreement with Gilbert to live in Obsidian (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Mc who argues with Chevalier so he doesn't kill Clavis

To put in simple "I will choose you to be the king as long as Clavis is by your side."

I think now MC can threaten others lol . Good job, girl 👏

Chevalier who recognizes his brother and admitting that because of Clavis by his side, he always succeeds and maintains his humanity 🤧 They do have strange relationship, but MC seeing their bond is stronger than others

Btw, I also want to say that here, even though Chevalier isn't paired with MC, he's quite open with her

Chevalier and Gilbert meeting (and don't forget the sparks between their clashing eyes 😂)

"Stop this useless play and return the foolish brother quickly." Aww~Chevalier😆

Gilbert handed Clavis over, but was he going to let them go that easily? Chevalier mode brutal beast on (feel sorry for Gilbert's knight. Those against Chevalier will die. But if refuse, Gilbert will also kill them😅)

Chevalier : *slashing enemy*

MC : *run for searching Clavis* prince Chevalier, where did they hide Clavis?

Chevalier : dungeon

They make a great combos 😂

Gilbert surprised to see empty prison, then Clavis appeared from behind them. Even Gilbert's newly created special key is nothing to Clavis

Clavis treats the wound that Gilbert made on the MC's neck, aah his gentlemanliness 💘

Clavis wants to leave immediately for MC's safety, but the MC refuses with "If you don't help Chevalier, I will hate Clavis!"

Mc really has a big influence when paired with one of these duos 😂 In anniversary event story, Cheva helps Clavis because "if you die, mc will be sad"

Then this "if i don't help you, mc will hate me" 😂👍

Clavis's cooking is improving because he likes to see MC smile when she eats something delicious 🤧

A little talk about Clavis and Chevalier

Mc bids farewell to Clavis because her job is almost done.

Clavis who is always come everyday to MC for love confession! 💓

Tsundere Mc it's cute 🤧

Cyril that sided with Mc

It's sad for me to see Rio being supportive again 🤧

Mc got sick, Clavis took care of her and bluntly said that he was very worried when he heard the MC fell ill and immediately went to her house, not feeling guilty after handing all his work over to Chevalier lol

Meanwhile king Chevalier be like :

Then he said that he couldn't find any other woman besides MC, remembering all the advantages that MC has ... but what's even more touching, he still respect the MC's feelings by not forcing the conversation and returns to taking care of MC as usual

In the end, yes, MC finally admit it (although not directly)

Clavis : what's up mc? Do you want to confess your love to me? Haha of course you---

Mc : yes, i admit that

Clavis : that's very of you. Don't be shy---

Clavis : .... Wait, what?

"You're the most precious woman for me." 🤧

The four youngest princes together with Cyril had a party for the MC because she had been their saviors. Not only them, maybe everyone in the kingdom sees MC like that bc now Clavis stop all his pranks 🤣

"so plz don't break up with him" - Yves

"agree." - Licht

Clavis appears and tries to take MC away. "Which is more important, this tea party or me?". The others can only look pityingly at MC lol

Last romantic scene, Clavis cuddling with MC

I will add with my fav scene from bonus story after completing 2 ending :

Clavis pouted because MC mentioned another guy's name when they were together in bed

Clavis is always in a bad mood when it rains, he just doesn't like roses that get wet afterward. Because it reminds him of his painful childhood memories

Flashback about his mother, Letizia, the late queen and the king

I really love when Letizia say she really loves Clavis. She said she was very happy with the days she spent with her son. She also said that she was so thankful that Clavis was born for her. But what sad & hurts more, the next day Letizia was found dead, committing suicide by jumping into cliff 😭

If things weren't like this, maybe Letizia will be the only mother of the princes who was still alive (╥﹏╥)

And moment between Chevalier and Clavis on the day of his mother's funeral. Chevalier was by Clavis's side, taking his brother's anger and beatings. He encouraging Clavis (despite his words far from kindness) and reminded Letizia's last message to him

Boii this is what I've been waiting for, their relationship ( ；∀；)

Clavis route is far to good, I don't think I want the story to stop 😅

Now let's wait patiently for Sariel route, What dramas and surprises await us there? 💁

[j-minte08]

Why do I award BalanWonderworld as a masterpiece?

Introduction

⚠️I'm using a translator, so I apologize if any parts are difficult to read.

In this article, I will write about why I award Balan Wonderworld as a masterpiece, with answers to criticisms.

When I played the demo version, I thought this game was SO BAD. But I believed Yuji Naka and bought the full version. (Before I knew it, I had bought four of them...) I'm not raving blindly about it.

At first, I was hopelessly disappointed because nothing had changed from the demo version. However, in chapters 2 and 3, I was impressed by the three-dimensionality and beauty of the stages, and in chapter 4, I realized the comfort of gaining freedom through the acquisition of costumes.

By the time I was completely finished, I was convinced that this game was a great piece of work.

This is an article that I wrote after spending nearly 100 hours on this game.

I hope you will read it.

Main part

First of all, this game is not a game with flashy action as its primary objective. (Flashy battle action is possible in some scenes.)

【Puzzle】　【RPG】　【Exploration】

It is structured around these three main components.

The game also features a "Balance AI" that senses the player's movements and makes changes to the difficulty and world. There is also a presentation of my own work, so please take a look!

Please read with the above in mind.

■ One button action is stressful.

▶︎ As mentioned earlier, this game is not intended for flashy action. At its root, it is an RPG and does not require multiple buttons. The reason it's a simple operation is because it doesn't need to be.

There is only one button, but instead the player is given the freedom to select up to three actions of their choice. The way to play Balan is to find your own strategy within these constraints.

Some people point out that you can't jump, but only a few outfits limit jumping. Most of them are attack-oriented outfits. It's up to you to decide whether you want more attack power or more movement power.

If you're still not convinced, this game just isn't to your liking.(If that's you, I recommend the Wii version of Rodea.)

NiGHTS and Sonic are also action games with simple controls, but the concept is different from Baran, as explained below.

From the very beginning, NiGHTS and Sonic are one-button games that allow for exhilarating action. The action feels good and allows for improvement through trial and error.

However, Balan begins in a state of helplessness. One of his goals is to use his wits and eventually gain the power to run freely around the three-dimensional stage.

Freedom from discomfort. This catharsis is the best part of Balan.

It is also linked to the story's theme of opening closed minds.

■ The structure of the puzzle is sketchy.

▶︎ There is an intention behind this. By making the puzzle structure more flexible, the player is given more choices.

Therefore, each player will have a completely different solution to obtaining a single statue.

Also, each time you play the game, you will find new strategies, making it a game that can be played repeatedly.

This is the reason why Yuji Naka was so confident about this game.

Personally, I think that this action with a puzzle concept has a similar point of view to card games and rock-paper-scissors.

The Mega Man series is a typical example of a game that requires you to observe the situation and your opponent's movements to find the right technique and move. In fact, there is a famous episode where it was derived from rock-paper-scissors. This is also a game where you can enjoy improving through trial and error, but I think the structure of the rules is similar to that of Balan.

■ It's a pain to stock up on costumes.

▶︎ There is no need to overstock costumes. The minimum number of costumes needed to clear the course will naturally be available. Dependence on certain costumes can make the game monotonous. Also, the BalanceAI can sense your movements and take countermeasures.

As the difficulty level increases, you will have a hard time because the costumes will not come back.

The game is made more interesting by the style of play that allows you to use all the costumes to their fullest extent and bring out the true value of each one.

If you run out, explore the stage while collecting costumes. It may lead to new discoveries.

Even if you don't have a specific costume, there are many situations you can get through by applying other costumes.

This degree of freedom is what makes Balan so interesting. The strategy is left to your imagination.

■ The stage is curved. Isn't this a useless design?

▶︎ The curvature of the map allows you to see every corner of the stage. You may be confused because there is no other game that tries to do something like this. However, this is an ideal map for exploration games.

The basics of this gimmick are used as of chapter 1. Chapter 7, which has particularly large differences in elevation, makes good use of this gimmick.

■ The difficulty level is too low.

▶︎ Basics → Application → Review (Boss battle)

This game is designed to follow the above flow thoroughly. As a result, the difficulty level in the early stages is kept low, but the endgame is quite difficult. I almost lost my mind in chapter 12.

The bosses are easy to defeat. However, it is difficult to conquer all three strategy patterns.

Also, if you keep defeating enemies quickly without taking damage, the difficulty level will increase.Stronger and faster enemies will appear in large numbers.I found the difficulty level increased at chapter 3.

In other words, the difficulty of the game depends on how good you are.

■ I want to have a HP separate from my costume.

▶︎ This system prompts the player to use a different costume in case of failure.

Depending on the situation, you can either sacrifice valuable costumes, or use inconvenient but well-stocked costumes... The game throws a variety of choices at the player. This gameplay becomes more apparent as the difficulty level increases.

If you separate the HP from the costume, this tense gameplay will be lost.

The system of choosing outfits based on what will happen next fosters the ability to think and survive on one's own. It will also help the child's ego independence.

■ I need more explanations and hints. It's designed in an unfriendly way.

▶︎ It's not a game that requires you to do anything difficult, so if you think about it, you should be able to understand it to some extent. All you have to do is immerse yourself in collecting statues by any route you can think of.

Some people criticize Balan for being old-fashioned, but they are missing the point.

Games are essentially content that teaches you to think and act for yourself. This is a posting of what games should be, and a refreshing return to the basics.

However, I don't mean to criticize modern games. The immersive feeling of being in a movie, and the friendly design of the UI that shows you where you are going so you don't get lost. I think it's a beautiful evolution for today's hectic world where it's hard to find time to be alone.

However, to be honest, it is abnormal to say that only works that follow the latest trends are evaluated, and it is difficult to say that there is creativity in such works. Evolving technology and the presence or absence of originality have completely different meanings.

I would like to say that games like Balan, which have their own rules and think for themselves, are what we need today.

■ I don't understand the story. I want subtitles.

▶︎ With both video and dubbing, the amount of information is extremely high. By not using real words, all the people in the world have the exact same experience. Very romantic, don't you think?

It's not to dismiss the unspoken parts as non-existent, but to let your imagination run wild and have fun with it.

Since ancient times, there has been an aesthetic in Asia that finds meaning in blank spaces.

If you want a more substantial story, I recommend the novel version, which probably has what you want. It is available for Kindle.

At the end

Balan Wonderworld is a game designed to grow with the player the more time they spend playing.

Despite its gorgeous visuals, the reality of the story is deep and Yuji Naka's philosophy shines through, making it a masterpiece that can be called a compilation of his work.

At first, you may find some scenes difficult or the system annoying. However, they all have a meaning and will make sense as you continue to play.

Balan is built on a very complete system.

EVERY MOMENT IS AN ADVENTURE... This tagline is true.

But the fact is that Balan is a very peaky game. But that's also true for Sonic and NiGHTS.

If you have enjoyed Yuji Naka's past works, you will surely understand the quality of Balan. I recommend that you take the time to face this game first without any preconceived notions.

Now that I've spoken highly of Balan, I'd like to offer some criticism of the official advertising.

I think the main reason for this failure was the poor choice of stages included in the demo version, which made it difficult to convey the fun of expanding the degree of freedom by acquiring costumes, the sense of freedom, and the fun of being able to create a number of unique strategies.

As for the official SNS, rather than introducing the costumes and the storyline by themselves, the official should have done a better job of showing how they are all connected to make this game interesting.

That's how it looked from my personal point of view, but I believe that the current situation is the result of continuous failures in the area of advertising.

I'm so disappointed that this masterpiece is being buried, and I hope that the officials will have the guts to turn its reputation upside down even now.

Hopefully, this game will get the recognition it deserves. I love Balan Wonderworld.

[self-growth-for-the-soul]

What is your life about? Your time is precious; use it wisely.

In today's society of social media likes, posts, and entertainment, it can be easy for anyone to get lost in what life is indeed about, especially our youth. Anyone can get lost in the mirage of social media news and drama by posting about it or being hypnotized by it for years. Before we know it, another year has passed, and we are still stuck in the same job or toxic relationship and complaining daily about how much life sucks. In reality, we are wasting precious time that we could be doing something about whatever cause we feel strongly about or living out our own life.

It's not easy to confess how much time we all spend on social media addicted to the likes and life of drama or the good life of others. I mean, who wants to admit that they spent precious time admiring or complaining about what is happening outside of them in life. Well, I'll be honest and say I am guilty of it but am working towards managing my social media participation choices.

Of course, it's nice seeing friends and family and quickly finding out what is happening worldwide with a click or swipe, right? But as a teacher of middle school kids who I constantly have to remind to put away their phones or turn off their computers during class, I'm sure they, like us adults, have fallen prey to what life could be about.

I recently saw a documentary on Netflix called "The Social Dilemma," which tells us that many tech companies succeed by capturing as much of our attention as possible and then selling that attention to the highest bidders. As the saying goes, "If you're not paying for the product, you are the product." The film surprised me, and I highly recommend it because it will make you more mindful of how much we automatically pick up our devices daily just out of boredom and habit. There is nothing wrong with staying glued to our phones most days, clicking and swiping away, depending on who you ask. Or is there?

After watching the film and learning that the very people who created some of the most popular apps like Facebook, Instagram, and Tik Tok don't allow their kids to use any device was surprising. Likewise, many of the developers and employees of the biggest brands in the tech world have quit their job because they admit that the primary goal of the tech companies is to keep us glued to our devices. They also acknowledge that they have trouble daily disconnecting from their devices to see life for what it truly is about at any given moment. The mental health damage it may be causing in our society or our lives are not in the tech company's rearview mirror either. For them, all is well.

All this information has led me to ask, what is your life about? Are you filling your time with a bunch of clicks, swipes, and likes most of the time. Or have you reached a point that spending so much time on your device feels like a terrible hangover or a film that you just watched for two hours and was so bad that you wish you could get that time back?

Of course, non of us will ideally be able to manage our time on our devices because we get a lot of good done with them. However, the goal is that we should work towards daily becoming more mindful of what we are spending our greatest asset on, which is our time. We can use the time for more significant and purposeful advancement in living our best lives.

For these reasons and more, begin to realign your energy with your passions, no matter what they may be. Only you know what gives you a daily energy boost when a thought or idea may come, but you somehow decide not to take action because of the many distractions on our screens. Whether that passion is to write, exercise, create, sing, dance, or whatever, do it. Even if you sing in the shower today, your love for singing becomes real, and who knows what can come next time? Maybe you'll write a song.

We must realize that our time is precious and that giving it away for useless ads and instant gratification entertainment should not be an option. The more time we spend learning, experiencing, growing, and becoming better than we were yesterday, the more confident and assertive we will feel about actually doing something more productive with our time. Instead of falling prey to the social screens that lead to mentalities of comparing, judging, wishing, irrational thinking, or feeling guilty, we can look at our life and begin to smell the roses and see life for what it can indeed lead us to be.

Understanding that life is about constant growth and change is vital. Look at how these tech companies grow with the attention we are so fascinated in giving them. We, too, are called to grow and not stay stuck in front of our devices with the same mentalities. Just like nature grows and develops, we also must be growing. Remember that we all have a choice in life to do and become who we'd genuinely like. However, our distraction addiction has held many of us back, which has led to much procrastination.

Don't get me wrong; I don't want to sound like a party pooper about our social world today. However, the statics tell the truth, and staying stuck to our devices may promote negative experiences such as inadequacy about your life or appearance. Still, in reality, such negative experiences should not be valid for any of us. Life should never be about competing, comparing, or feeling like we are missing out because, in the end, each person has an individual journey to walk. Sharing our journey through our devices is wonderful, but don't let it become more than just a quick share and quickly get back to your present moment.

Life is not perfect for anyone, despite what our devices display. Life is full of joy, hope, struggles, pain, uncertainty, blessings, and more. However, let us ensure we are experiencing these moments ourselves and not trying to experience them through our devices.

Thus, take some time today to put down your devices and truly see how blessed you are and see if you can take time to learn something new rather than want what others have, or create beautiful moments of your own instead of wanting to be in another moment that is not your own.

In the end, we are all connected even without any devices. We share the same struggles and doing our best to make it in life, so remember that next time you surf the web. Become mindful that we are all doing the best we can to be the best version of ourselves and that you aren't missing out on anything. Begin to use your time wisely and never lose yourself again in the mirage of a device screen if possible.

[tarchey]

Hello,

I have been posting some art on tumblr for a while, and you have always been my main supporter, and i just want to appreciate. it's very precious. It's very very precious that it can't be explained by words. like, you're so amazing you know, giving people motivation to go on.. for all this time i was hanging out in tumblr, you have been my main motivation to draw. You're so amazing. Just THANK YOU for being the who you are. Thank you.

Oh wow, I don’t know what to say. 🥺

You know, I’m just some random dude who can’t get enough of nice art. Idk, I just want to show people that I like their stuff and that I appreciate them for delivering all this awesome art.

But to read that I am the main motivation for someone to draw is incredible and makes me very emotional. It makes me proud but also kinda… sad?

I know the struggles someone, who loves to draw, faces. Young people are often afraid to show their works and are being told that it’s a waste of time constantly. They’re being told that they can’t be artists when they grow up and that they should spend their time with something more useful. But by telling them that, they are creating a self fulfilling prophecy because this is exactly why people stop being creative and won’t pursue their dreams, because they start to believe that their art is useless nonsense.

The thing is, that encouraging creativity can have so many benefits not only for many different professions (even when these have nothing to do with art) but especially for general mental health. Not everything a child/teenager does has to be a preparation for a future job. Maybe they become artists, maybe they will be happy simply doing art in their free time. But discouraging creative behaviour is something very cruel.

And I know, by far not everyone experiences being actually discouraged from doing art. But let’s be honest: who really is actively encouraged by the people in their lives? Maybe some, but I bet most crave some sort of support, even just a little bit.

So yeah, when I’m scrolling through Tumblr, I’m often tired (because I have a creative job, hah!) and I don’t always praise works of art as I should, but I damn well try to at least leave a little red heart. A simple double tap. It means I agree with you or I like what you’re doing and I’d like to see more of it and I appreciate you so much.

But don’t focus on responses too much either. I know the endorphins that are being released when you see likes etc act like a drug and they feel so good. But don’t feel bad when some posts receive less likes and comments or even no reactions at all. It is so important to appreciate your own art and simply doing it because you love doing it. This is is the only way to create art in a long lasting healthy way.

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 23

I get to love you.

Alec was glad that the chapter of Camille Belcourt is finally over. He looked again where he killed the vampire and sighed with relief. He then looked at the time and quickly reached home. When he did, he found his husband half-dressed pacing in the living room wearing a worried expression.

"Magnus?" He called softly.

Magnus looked at Alec and sighed with relief. He walked towards him and hugged him tightly.

"Alexander, thank goodness! Where were you? I was worried sick."

"Calm down, love. I had some business to finish. I thought while you're getting dressed, I'll complete that. And, why are you half-dressed by the way?"

"I'm... I'm not feeling well, Alexander. I already told you, I've been feeling weird since morning, and it's not just because of Camille, there's something else I can't put my fingers on. And, about being half-dressed, I needed help for putting on the vest and the coat, so I was looking for you. I got worried when I couldn't find you anywhere."

"Hey, relax love." He cupped his warlock's face and kissed his forehead. While doing so, he sends his calming magic into his body. He knew it was wrong, but his husband was way too worked up and needed to relax a bit.

Magnus leaned into the touch and instantly relaxed, oblivious of the how.

"Now, let me help you." He helped his husband for getting dressed then he himself freshened up and changed into a white button-down shirt with dark chocolate brown pants and jacket with a black square pocket and black shoes.

When he came into the living room, he saw his husband waiting for him who was, as usual, looking ravishingly hot. He was wearing an ice blue button-down shirt with wine red pants, a light wine-colored vest, and a long wine red colored double-breasted coat with embroidery of black and silver and black shoes. His makeup was done perfectly, with dark perfectly smooth eyeliner and black kohl. The eyeshadow consisted of a blend of wine and black. The hairs were spiked up having streaks of wine red at the edges. He kept staring at his husband with his mouth hung open.

"Stop staring, Alexander. Can we leave now?"

Alec got out of the trance with his husband's voice. "Uh.. hun, yeah, yeah." He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I got distracted, my husband is looking way too hot than I imagined."

"Thank you for the compliment, Alexander, but can we leave now, so that we can come back soon."

"Seriously, Magnus! Fine, create a portal, and don't think about any destination."

Magnus obliged and they stepped into the portal. When they stepped out of the portal, his mouth was hung open and there was a glint in his eyes. He was completely speechless.

"A.. Alexander.." He breathed out.

"Thoughts?"

Magnus looked at his husband then at the gazebo where they had stepped out of the portal. It was right in front of his eyes, looking like heaven created on earth.

The whole gazebo had lanterns hanging from them, two on each side giving it a warm glow, the conical ceiling was covered with LED white lights on both inside and outside. The pillars had spirals of different varieties of roses. There was a circular table placed in the center of the gazebo, with several scented candles placed in a heart shape in the middle of it. The whole table was covered with rose petals over which lay their dinner, a red velvet cake, two different shaped boxes, and a bouquet of flowers with a card on it. There were two chairs kept on the diagonal corners, over which lay a set of speakers and a few small gifts.

Magnus looked at his husband with tear-filled eyes. "Alexander, you... you did so much. I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything, just enjoy the evening." He held his warlock's hand and dragged him inside the gazebo.

Magnus looked at his surroundings with tears in his eyes. He looked at the cake which had a 'happy anniversary Malec' written on it. "Malec? So you finally accepted our mundane ship name? "

"Nope! That's Clary and Izzy's doing."

"Smart women!"

Alec looked at his husband and shook his head, then leaned over and kissed his temple. "Let's cut the cake first, shall we?"

Magnus nodded. They took the knife which was knotted with ribbon, cut the cake together, and fed each other.

"Happy anniversary, Magnus Lightwood Bane."

"Happy anniversary, Alexander."

They leaned in and kissed each other softly yet passionately, tasting the sweetness of red velvet cake on each other's lips. They poured all the emotions into that one kiss. When they broke the kiss, Magnus' glamor had disappeared and his eyes were shining brightly with tears filled in them.

Alec then picked up the bouquet and handed it to his husband.

Magnus took it and inhaled the scent of mixed flowers which calmed his whole body. He then looked at the card and took it gently, placing the bouquet on the table. His eyes watered when he read the contents of the card.

~~~~~~~~~ You said you were a monster I saw an angel

You said you were ugly I saw a beauty

You said you were useless I saw a caring personality

You said you were called an abomination I saw a person with a pure heart

You said you don't deserve to be loved I saw a person who needed to be loved

You said you hate yourself I saw a shattered heart

You said there's nothing but darkness around I saw a broken soul

I saw a broken soul...

«Happy 6th year anniversary, love. Thank you for coming into my life and making me the happiest person ever. These six years are the best six years of my life. You pushed me and helped me get out of the closest. I don't know what would have happened if you didn't crash my wedding that day. Maybe, I would be married to Lydia and living a life of a lie. But I'm not, I'm here with my husband, creating the best memories of my life. I can never thank you enough, Magnus. You're the light to my darkness, sunshine to my storms, strength to my weakness, and healer to my cries. I love you so much, and I wish to spend eternity with you.»

P. S. There's a big surprise waiting for you. ~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus looked at his husband with tear-filled eyes. He was really touched by every single word written on that card.

"I love you so much, Alexander. You are really special to me. You make me the happiest person ever. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I may have had lovers before, but no one was as special to me as you are. I should thank you for coming into my life and loving me for who I am and not what you want me to be. You saw through me, the monster I was, the crimes I did, but you still loved me and never left. I have no words to convey how thankful I'm for that."

"Hey, don't say that. You're not a monster, Magnus." He wrapped his hands around the warlock's neck and kissed him on the forehead. Magnus leaned into the touch. "Now, are you ready for your gifts?"

Magnus frowned at that. "Alexander, I... I haven't brought anything for you. I even forgot our anniversary and even if I can summon anything in a second, I didn't know what to get you. I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry about that, love. You've already given me the best gift by telling me the whole truth. I don't need anything materialistic. Honesty was the best gift you've given me, Magnus."

Magnus smiled at that. He didn't know what he did to deserve such an understanding person like him. "Thank you, Alexander."

"Now, the gifts." He picked up the photo frame which was wrapped beautifully and handed it to his husband.

Magnus took it and blinked twice. Something was written on the wrapper in his husband's beautiful handwriting.

#theworldisNOTyourtrash,Magnus.

He glared at his husband and Alec looked away, trying to suppress his smile.

The first time Alec got to know about this habit of Magnus was when he had gifted him the omamori charm and Magnus threw away the wrapper on the floor like trash. Since then he noticed that it's not just the wrappers, he does that with anything which is in his hands, the only exception being his phone.

"I do NOT do that, Alexander."

Alec rolled his eyes at that. "And I'm a warlock. Now open the gift, will you?"

Magnus opened the wrapper as gently as possible then kept it on the table. He felt his husband's eyes boring at him the whole time. He gasped when he saw the contents of the gift. It was a photo frame consisting of the paintings of all their anniversaries and their wedding day, beautifully framed together. The frame was made with handcrafted wood and it had a richness to it.

"It's beautiful. I love it. Thank you, Alexander."

"Thank Clary, I've asked her to do it. There's no doubt she did an amazing job." He smiled warmly when he saw his husband's reaction.

"I'm still going to thank you." He pecked him softly on the lips.

Alec picked up the second gift and handed it to him. Magnus took it and opened the wrapper gently yet again. His eyes watered when he saw what was inside the box. It was a set of 3 diamond rings, which were joined together with silver chains having a small cut of emeralds on them, the first and third rings were designed to sit on the base of fingers, the second ring on the middle part of the finger. The words FOREVER YOURS MLB were engraved on each ring separately on top of it and AKU CINTA KAMU on the bottom of the ring, each letter having small cut diamonds on it, which were shining brightly as the moonlight fell on it.

He took out the rings from the box and slid them on his fingers. They fit perfectly on his fingers. He traced the words gently, feeling every minute diamonds engraved on it. A warm smile played on his lips.

"Aku cinta kamu, Alexander Lightwood Bane. I'm speechless. Thank you so, so much."

"I love you too, Magnus. Now, your last gift. But, before that.." he switched on the speakers and placed his hand forward gracefully. "Dance with me."

Magnus looked at him wide-eyed. "You can't be serious!"

Alec rolled his eyes. "I've been practicing. Now, come on."

Magnus took his hands and rested one hand on his shoulder and his face on his chest. A slow track of 'I Get to Love You' by Ruelle started playing on the speakers and he gave in to the music and closed his eyes, relishing every word of the song and his husband's embrace.

[A/N: Before reading further, imagine Malec dancing on this track. The song is attached above.]

"Whatever may come, your heart I will choose. Forever I'm yours, forever I'll do." Alec whispered softly in Magnus' ears.

"The way you love, it changes who I am." He whispered again.

"They say love is a journey, I promise that I'll never leave. When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me." He whispered yet again and Magnus tightened his arms around his husband, not wanting to let go. Alec played the song once again, relishing every single moment.

When the song got over, Magnus opened his eyes and unwrapped himself from his husband's arms. But his eyes went wide from what he saw. There, in front of his eyes lay something really unexpected. His husband was looking heavenly. There were huge silver wings fluttering beside him and his eyes were turned into icy silver, without any trace of his true hazel one's, having a hopeful look in them. He took a few steps backward, gasped loudly, and covered his mouth.

"A.. Alexander! What.. what is this? You? This? What's going on?" He trailed off, not wanting to believe what was in front of his eyes.

Alec took his husband's arms and kissed the back of his hands. "This is your final gift, Magnus. Happy anniversary." He said hopefully, he didn't want it to backfire, he knew it wouldn't. But if by any chance it did, he would be crushed.

"You're.. you're.. what are you? Are.. are you Im.. immortal? But! No, this has to be a dream. This can't be true." He looked at his surroundings frantically. "This is a dream. I know it is. I need to wake up. This is all a dream."

The light hopeful smile which was playing on Alec's lips disappeared completely after hearing that. He gulped and reached for his husband's hand but Magnus backed off. Tears formed in Alec's silver eyes. "Magnus." He called softly. "It's not a dream. I'm immortal, love. That's what I went to New York for. Catarina helped me with this." He confessed and tried to reach for his husband again, but Magnus backed off. His wings rippled conveying his sadness through it.

"No! don't touch. Whatever you are, don't touch me. I know I'm dreaming. And whatever you're doing to keep me asleep, I'll break through it and get back to reality. I know my husband would never sacrifice his mortality, not even for me. So back off, and if you try to do anything.." he produced his blue magic dancing above his palms, "dream or not, I'll burn you in flames." He said coldly, his cat eyes boring at him.

Alec took a few steps backward and looked at his husband, then at the burning ball of magic in his hand. His silver eyes turned into a dull gray color and tears escaped from them. His wings turned dull gray too and hung low, touching the floor completely. "I'll do anything for you, Magnus." He whispered softly in a choking voice. He didn't expect this to happen, his warlock didn't just reject his immortality, he wasn't even believing any of it, and was seeing him as a threat. He sniffed and looked at the floor. He was broken by the turn of events.

Magnus looked at the creature's actions dumbfounded. Even though he wanted it to be true badly, all he could think was this to be a dream again, as the other ones. He didn't want to be trapped again. He was thinking of attacking the thing when he heard the familiar sniffs and looked at the creature. His heart skipped a beat and he withdrew his magic. He could recognize his husband's saddened voice anywhere. No one could imitate it as the shadowhunter never showed his emotions to anyone other than him. He gulped, hard. It didn't take him long after that to realize that this wasn't a dream and he had hurt his husband. He looked at his shadowhunter or now angel? and saw that the wings were now curled around him tightly like he was hugging himself and the sniffs have increased.

"A.. Alexander?"

"Now what, Magnus? Do you want to kill me too?" He asked in a low voice.

Magnus' heart sank hearing that voice. He really had hurt his husband badly. "A... Alexander, is it really you? You're immortal? For real? I... I'm really sorry. I really am. I freaked out. I didn't mean to hurt you, I never could. I'm so sorry."

Alec's eyes turned silver and hopeful again and he looked at his warlock. He saw the genuineness in those golden cat eyes.

"Magnus, it's me, love. Please, don't do that, please believe me. Yes, I'm immortal, I did it for you, for us. I love you Magnus, more than you could imagine."

Magnus stepped forward and wiped away the tears falling on his cheeks, then looked into those dull silver eyes. It suddenly struck him and tears formed in his own eyes.

"Oh, my god! Alexander! You're immortal, I can't believe this! You're actually immortal! You.. you did it for me? I have you for eternity! You're not going anywhere? Is that what this ring meant?" He looked at the ring in his hand then at his husband, dumbfounded. Alec smiled at that and nodded. He took his husband's palms rested on his cheeks and kissed it.

Magnus looked at his husband with adoration and hugged him tightly, clinging to him like a koala. "But why? How?"

Alec finally relaxed when he felt his warlock's arms around him, his wings curled around Magnus' body and he held his husband tightly. "I heard you, Magnus." He whispered in his ears.

********************************

*A month ago*

Magnus was sitting beside Alec's bed, holding his shadowhunter's hand in his own. He never moved from that place. It's been more than a week and his husband was still in a coma. He hadn't eaten anything in that week, Catarina had to force-feed him in order to keep him alive.

Magnus didn't want to move from that place, not even for a second. He wanted to be there when his husband woke up. He was sobbing badly and was holding his shadowhunter's hand tightly.

"Alexander, I don't know if you can hear me or not but wake up. Please, wake up. I can't see you like this. It's killing me. I never thought I would love someone so madly, but I was wrong, I love you so much, Alexander. I don't think I can live without you."

He sobbed and a teardrop escaped from his eyes and fell on Alec's hand.

"Come back to me, Alexander, please. I don't know what I'm going to do if you.." he trailed off and sniffed.  "I never thought I would find someone whom I wished to spend my eternity with, but I did. Yes, Alexander, I want that with you. I know I'm being selfish, but seeing you like this made me realize how much your presence in my life means to me.

I never thought I would ever get married, but then, I found you. You were the first of many things, and you would be the last. The last person I'll ever love. I don't think I can fall in love ever again if something happens to you. And I don't want that. I... I wish you were immortal, Alexander.

I know that's your decision to make, but it's killing me to imagine a life without you. I know now how you felt when I was lying there five years ago, when I lost my magic, you wanted to grow old with me. I want the same, only difference being, I want to spend eternity in your arms." He sniffed and caressed his cheeks.

"I love you, Alexander. More than I imagined I could ever love someone. Just come back to me, please, even if it's for the next 50-60 years. I don't know what I'll do after that, but I can't see you dying. I can't." He rested his head on his chest and started sobbing, after some time he fell asleep like that.

*******************************

"Alexander... I.. I have no words. I know I confessed that, but I didn't think you could hear me. I know I was being selfish when I said all that."

"Magnus, don't say that. You have the right to be selfish sometimes. I got selfish too when you lost your magic. I wanted to grow old with you. I guess now both of our wishes came true. We have an eternity waiting for us." He touched his forehead with Magnus' and wrapped his fingers around his neck.

Magnus sighed and leaned into the touch. "Alexander.. why? How? When? What exactly are you now? Don't get me wrong, I'm obviously happy that I have my husband for eternity, but it's a big decision, being immortal sometimes feels like a curse, it's not easy to live for centuries without feeling empty."

"Not when you're with the right person, Magnus. I love you and I made this decision when I was sure I wanted it. I just didn't do it for you, I did it for myself as well. I can't live without you, Magnus, ever." He cupped the warlock's face with one hand and his wings wrapped around Magnus' waist and legs. Magnus looked at them wide-eyed and Alec smiled.

"They just want to hug you and calm you down. They can sense your stress. Don't freak out because of them."

Magnus looked at the wings wrapped around his body with awe. His cat eyes had a different kind of glint in them. "They're beautiful, Alexander, but you haven't answered my questions yet."

"I'm still a shadowhunter, just an angel now, literally. And to answer how and when, it's a long story. I heard everything when I was in a coma, Magnus. You, Izzy, and others. It was breaking me from inside whenever you pleaded me to come back to you. After I gained consciousness and got back home, I remembered everything that you said. I was waiting to see if you'll ask me to be immortal again, but you didn't, so I didn't give it much thought either. But the first time I heard you crying and confessing all that again behind my back when I came back home early one day, it shattered every core of my heart. I know you did that a lot behind my back." He took a deep breath then continued.

"Even you know it well, Magnus, that how much I tried to talk you through it. But you always kept me pushing away. You know we tried mundane ways too, but nothing worked and it killed me every second seeing you like that. That's when I started researching about becoming immortal. I found out about a shadowhunter becoming immortal without turning into a downworlder. That's when I knew that I wanted it. Even you know how much shadowhunting means to me." He looked at his warlock's tear-filled eyes and the wings fluttered around his body.

"When I was sure about becoming immortal, I went to Catarina for help and she agreed. My visit to New York was actually to get permission from my family and to transform into an immortal. I didn't want to lie to you so I preponed the meeting and shifted it to New York. I did it because I love you Magnus, so, so much. Seeing you like that killed me, it made me realize how worse you'll be when I'll be gone one day and I didn't want that. This one month was the worst phase of my life. You were so broken, so vulnerable, even when I was there right in front of you. I didn't even want to imagine how much worse you could get if I'm not there. That helped me to will my decision of becoming immortal. I can't see you like that, love."

Magnus wrapped his husband in a tight hug and let tears fall on his shoulder. "I can't believe this, when Camille.. when I kissed her you were already immortal. If something would have happened.. whatever happened in my dream..." He tightened his fist on his jacket.

"Mags, hey, don't think about that. Nothing happened and I'm still here with you. But I do have a question, Magnus."

Magnus broke the hug and looked at his husband, but their hands were intertwined now.

"When you saw my wings, why did you say that you're dreaming? The way you reacted broke me, Magnus."

"I'm sorry, Alexander. I... I told you that I had lied to you about my nightmares. I... I had these weird dreams sometimes where I'm at a similar place like this with you, and you reveal to me that you're immortal, I get all happy and when I reach for you, you change into some weird looking man and I get trapped in a cell or dark basement. It's always slightly different, but that's how it goes. When you revealed your wings, those dreams flashed in front of my eyes. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to hurt you."

Alec rubbed his temples and sighed. "And why you never told me this before, Magnus? You had the precognition thing about me being immortal as well."

Magnus rested his face on Alec's chest and Alec's wings stroked his back in soft motions. "I'm sorry, Alexander. I never gave it a thought. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me as I wanted you to be an immortal."

"Mags, from now on, you're talking to me about your dreams and nightmares. I don't care even if they're baseless."

Magnus nodded against his chest. "I love you, Alexander. I don't know what I did to deserve you. You sacrificed your mortality for me. But, if you were already an immortal when you came back from New York, why didn't you tell me about it? Why did you never talk to me about it?"

"I was waiting for our anniversary. I wanted it to be a surprise for you. And about talking to you, I knew you would have refused it and tried to convince me not to do it, even when that's exactly what you wanted. I know you enough to know that you would have put my needs above yours. I know my husband, Magnus."

Magnus huffed and pouted, taking the opportunity Alec kissed him, pouring all of his emotions into it. When they broke their kiss, Magnus looked at him and blinked thrice.

"Are you feeling better now, Magnus? Did you like your last gift?"

"Much, thank you, Alexander. And I loved the gift. This is the best gift I've ever gotten. By the way, what am I supposed to call you now? You're not just a shadowhunter anymore. What about winged nephilim? Or an angel? I like the sound of both!"

"Don't you dare, Magnus Lightwood Bane!"

"Come on, angel, don't ruin the fun now."

"Magnus!"

Magnus rolled his eyes and took a bite of the cake, ignoring the flaming eyes of his now winged nephilim. He was actually feeling really happier than he was showing. He literally wanted to jump in his husband's arms and shower him with kisses, but he was trying to suppress that.

"Should we proceed with dinner now?" Alec asked. He was secretly relieved that his husband was going back to being his normal self again. His eyes were back to hazel again and he had put his wings back in the wing scar.

Magnus looked at him with curiosity. "Have you glamoured your wings? And how are you changing the colors of your eyes?"

"Let's discuss this over dinner, I'm starving." Alec uncovered the lid of the pots and Magnus gasped. The whole cuisine was Indonesian and Magnus' favorite.

Magnus looked at his husband lovingly and sat on the chair Alec pulled out for him. He kissed his winged nephilim passionately then started digging into the food. They spent the rest of the evening talking about Alec's newfound powers and going through the presents their family had gifted them.

[dreamychick]

Me and Tai have been Discussing Hogwarts again and were talking about classes. Obviously everyone would have their favorites and ones they'd be good at.

Charms would be my best and Favorite subject. It's mostly practical not theoretical. It's the most useful in everyday wizarding life. You learn a huge assortment of stuff from a knitting spell to a bubblehead charm. Like there are all different kinds of charms out there. And I feel like there's no end to what you can do. If something doesnt exist, you could make new charms and Prof. Flitwick would guide you along the way. He seems like one of the nicest teachers and most patient.

Even though I'd be a Muggle born coming into a world of Magic for the first time and I'd be excited for everything I'd probably hate HOM.Cuz like History of magic is taught by a guy who bored his own self to death. So thats probably a class id sleep through even if the subject matter were interesting. Goblin Rebellion sounds interesting as hell until you hear it being taught in a monotone voice and then you're suddenly being shaken awake and have a pool of drool on your face that you have to hastily wipe off bc it's time for the next class.

Divination is a wooly discipline. You have to have a given gift its not really something that can be taught. If you dont have an aptitude for it you cant hone anything. If you do have a gift for clairvoyance I think the class is a good one to take, it's not useless. Just useless to me. I'm not the sort who would have the sight. So prophecies and future and stuff is beyond me. So divination would be a waste of my time that I could spend doing something else.

Arithmancy is magic math who wants that?

Herbology is plants and I kill plants only these ones may try and kill me back. I think I'd find it interesting, I wouldn't be bored but I wouldn't retain it. It's used alot for potions ingredients. And I'd be fuckin useless at Potions.

Potions is cooking/science/math all in one. Anyone who has ever seen me try and do math or science knows I should not be allowed to create something that could potentially poison someone if done incorrectly. Also. Ive only been allowed to cook breakfast foods my whole life bc my sister runs the kitchen and doesn't let me try things so now I'm to lazy and don't want to. I cook rice in the microwave. It would be a miracle if I could scrape a passing grade for Potions at all.

Astronomy may be a good one. Staying up late. Learning the stars and the constellations. The placings. Charting and mapping. That would be helpful for adventuring, could navigate at night, by knowing where the stars are in relation to each other in terms of directions.

I feel like Id get super frustrated with Transfiguration bc id be over thinking it. To worried about the actual molecular structure of what im trying to transfigure. And stressing out cuz im not good at math and science. So i have no idea how to make it work. And when i do make it work its by dumb luck not bc i actually understand how im doing it. And when i TRY to understand it I just end up stressing out more bc i cant.

DADA I'd be good at. It's a practical class with practical application. Yes it requires some research for things like the creatures/beings you go up against, but once you've fought a Boggart you'll know how to fight it again. The situations may change but you'll know the spell. And it's something that requires action not as much sitting down and studying. My brain is broken. I need the classes I can move with.

Care of Magical Creatures I would love. New animals? Yes. Sign me up. I have 8 cats, 2 dogs and a turtle at home. But over my life we've had rabbits, lizards, hamsters, guinea pigs, fish, rats, birds and hermit crabs. I would love the hell out of new animals. My problem would be, like in the HP game now, I'd adopt these animals on the Reserve, take care of them and then it would be time for me to graduate and my ass would be like, "ok everyone into the magic bag, yup, yup once we get home Ill let you out. But come on, in you get." And Id take all of them.

Any muggle classes Id pass on, cuz I'm muggle born so that's a waste of time.

Ancient runes  is a book course. Like. All studying and memorization. Boring. I mean. It could be interesting I guess. But in the way that like studying Heiroglyphics is inyeresting. In that I think its interesting in theory. I think the subject matter is fascinating. Id love to learn more. But you put the book in front of me and my brain shuts off. I'm not gonna be able to focus on this man.

.....It has just come to my attention that in order to obtain my desired job of Curse-breaker I have to take

 Arithmancy and Ancient runes.

Well. Fuck me sideways.

I guess that makes sense, seeing as Curse breakers work for the banks most of the time but still. Can I be exempt seeing as how I'm a chosen one from Hogwarts? I've been finding Vaults and breaking curses for 6 years w/o this shit. May I be excused?

What do you mean no exceptions? But I have a recommendation from Bill Weasley! Plus! In a few years Harry Potter wont even Take his N.E.W.Ts but that bitch gets to be an Auror. Wtf.

Oooooh so you die ONE TIME for all of wizardom and you get a pass. Bitches.

Fine. Sign me up for both classes then.

I also MUST get an O on Transfigurations and Potions to get into the NEWT classes and an O or an E on Charms and DADA (The Classes Id probably pass with an O np) Luckily I only need to take the Arithmancy Owl no NEWT required. It doesnt say specifically if a NEWT is required for Ancient Runes. Or if Id need an O or E to get there. But lets hope I dont need it and that I can just take both with the OWLs and get an E. The NEWTS are Probably preferred but not necessary. So if I only just pass my OWL no biggie.

Someone better break out the Monsters and chocolate. And be ready to tutor the fuck out of me the week before exams to cram as much info into my head. Bc Im not retaining shit throughout the year.