#uthgerd the unbroken

[thequeenofthewinter]

Skyrim Characters Send Text Messages

It's been a while since I have done one of these, so let's goooooo...

Elisif the Fair: *sends passive aggressive texts where she tries to get you to "unwittingly" compliment her* *favorite emoji is the heart with sparkles* Vilkas: *has a Nokia brick* *it's vintage, okay* *he bought it secondhand at Belethor's General Goods* *half the keys don't work* Farkas: *emoji king* *sends out those chain texts like "pass it forward to 10 friends you think are special"* *buys Vilkas a new phone and he refuses to use it* Galmar Stone-Fist: *sends one word texts* *half the time they are misspelled* *"What's an emoji? Why are you sending me smiling bears, Rikke? Bears don't smile"* Ulfric Stormcloak: *all of his texts are grammatically correct* *man would not deign to use abbreviations nor contractions* *long winded walls of text which wax poetic* *this is a 5 paragraph essay* Brynjolf: *sends out phishing messages about Falmer blood elixir* *gets scammed himself* *phone is full of texts about meeting the "sexy Argonian maid of your dreams for 29.99 per night"* Serana: *sends the politest texts or rants about her parents* *there is no in-between* *just come meet me okay* *200/10 will then get you into trouble but you'll have fun* Teldryn Sero: *prefers not to send text messages but rather call people* *no one picks up because who answers a phone in this day and age* *gives up and texts eggplant emojis to Neloth* *will talk to you on the phone for 3 hours* General Tullius: *loses his phone half the time so he gives it to Rikke* *Rikke sends all his text messages* *doesn't actually know how texting works* Lydia: *sends snarky texts about picking up your stuff from Breezehome* *seriously my house is not a storage shed* *drunk texts flirty messages* *LDB takes her phone* Uthgerd the Unbroken: *too little patience and too small keys* *accidentally smashes her finger through the screen* *doesn't bother getting a new one*

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Uthgerd the Unbroken: My advice to the kids is that they should fight people on the playground while they can still get away with it without legal consequences.

[belfryduck]

Soren has been making friends in Skyrim since the Morag Tong kicked him out - may or may not swing ‘round the shrine of Boethiah for some sightseeing with her later.

[katastronoot]

Uthgerd the Unbroken for six fanarts requested by @alma-amentet ! Thank you!

I loved drawing her :)

[the-drunken-huntsman]

Have you done a moodboard for Uthgerd the Unbroken? If not I would like to request her pls.

"Wanna hear a bit of Nord wisdom? You don't really know a woman until you've had a strong drink and a fistfight with her."

Uthgerd the Unbroken moodboard

[helgiafterdark]

pondering at windstad

[volunruud]

getting beat up by uthgerd just hits different

[dagothurbignaturals]

was wrestling Uthgerd the Unbroken in skyrim and instead of the brawl being over and handing me my 100 coins the game just. made me Suplex the bitch into the fucking table

[gothimothi]

Sometimes a family is you (dragonborn), your three butch housecarls, your wife, your three daughters, your newly cultist son, and your ex cultist boyfriend

[fallrimxreader]

Can I please request Brelyna Maryon(am I spelling that right?), Uthgerd the Unbroken, and Ralof reacting to their Altmer S/O finding snow extremely fascinating in a kind of childish wonder?

Thanks for all the writing!:D

I had to look the spelling up myself but yes you spelt it right!

Ralof:

Ralof and the Dragonborn were headed to Windhelm. Ralof had convinced the Dragonborn to join the Stormcloaks. He walked down the same path he walked every day, not noticing anything different or unusual. Not even noticing when a small flurry of snowflakes began to fall around him.

“Is that ash?” The Dragonborn asked.

Ralof looked to the Dragonborn, who was staring into the sky. He looked around him and noticed the snowflakes.

“No that’s just snow.” Ralof answered.

“Snow?”

“Yes. Snow.” Ralof noticed the quizzical look the Dragonborn was giving him. “Have you never seen snow before?”

“We don’t get snow back home.” The Dragonborn said, shaking their head. He was surprised. He had been raised in Skyrim his whole life; snow was something he saw on a regular basis. He couldn’t quite believe that someone had never seen it before. The Dragonborn extended their hand, catching a few flakes in their palm. They admired the tiny white specs, smiling at the shapes.

“It’s so pretty, look.” They thrust their hand towards Ralof. He laughed, taking a look at the snowflakes.

“Indeed, it is.” Ralof looked ahead and saw the snow falling heavier, so he gently took the Dragonborn’s hand and led them a few feet further down the path. Large heavy snow was falling all around the pair. The Dragonborn laughed, holding up both hands and trying to collect as much as they could. Ralof watched, smiling with joy. It had been a long time since he had seen someone’s first reaction to snow, he forgot how entertaining it was. The Dragonborn was also reminding Ralof, that even if there was a war, there was always time for some joy in life. The Dragonborn began to spin round, trying to collect as much show as they could. They then paused and looked at their clothes, admiring how they were covered in the soft fluffy snow. He never thought he could love the Dragonborn anymore than he did, but they proved him wrong. He watched them, his heart swelling with love, they were adorable and he was so happy he was here to witness his loves first time in the snow.

“Let me show you something, a game I liked to play as a child.” Ralof collected some snow from the floor, packing it all together in a tight little ball. He showed the ball to the Dragonborn, who smiled and oohed in amazement. Ralof did feel slightly guilty about what he was going to do, taking advantage of someone who had no idea. Yet he also thought it would be entertaining. “Stand back a little bit.”

The Dragonborn took a few steps back and watched Ralof, smiling at him. He lightly gripped the snowball, then with one single movement threw the snowball at the Dragonborn. The ball exploded against their chest. They gasped in surprise, then glanced down at their chest, touching the splattered snow with their reddening fingers. They looked at Ralof with a frown. Ralof felt a small pang of guilt. Then the Dragonborn smirked, bent down, collected their own ball of snow and threw it at Ralof. Out of guilt he wanted to stand still and take it, but out of instinct he dodged out of the way. The snowball hitting the tree behind him. The pair looked at each other in silence, a knowing nod shared between them. They immediately began making and throwing as many snowballs as they could, laughing the whole time. Barely noticing the cold bite at their fingers.

Brelyna Maryon:

She met the Dragonborn while out on a college task near whiterun. She was hunting for a certain type of flower to help boost her power when she stumbled upon the Dragonborn collecting said flower. The Dragonborn shared their loot with Brelyna. She took the flowers gratefully and started a conversation with the Dragonborn. She told them about the college of winterhold. The Dragonborn showed great interest, so Brelyna decided to take them with her back to the college.

However, they got side tracked by helping other people, or completing bounties and falling in love. Months later, and a marriage behind them they finally made their way to the college of Winterhold. By the time they got close, the snow had already fallen and settled. The ground completely covered in thick white snow.

The Dragonborn stopped in their tracks a few feet from the snow. Brelyna stopped and whipped her head around thinking they may have seen a threat.

“Are you ok?” She asked.

“I’ve never seen white grass before.” The Dragonborn replied.

“What?”

“White grass.” They pointed at the snow. Brelyna laughed, thinking they were joking. She laughed for a while, the Dragonborn still staring at the snow, before she realized they were not joking. She should have known better; she should have remembered that most Altmer have never seen snow before. She felt a little insensitive. She cleared her throat before speaking.

“Sorry for laughing, my love. Have you never seen snow before?”

“Snow?”

“Yes, snow. It’s frozen water, it falls from the sky instead of rain when the air gets extremely cold.” Brelyna explained.

“Oh, I see.” The Dragonborn got close to the snow, crouching next to it. Yet they were hesitant to touch it. Brelyna joined them.

“It’s ok, go ahead.” She touched the snow first, showing the Dragonborn it was safe. She brushed her fingers through it, disturbing the perfect top layer. The Dragonborn extended their hand and touched the snow, then immediately withdrew it.

“It’s cold!” They gasped. Brelyna tried to stifle another laugh.

“It is indeed cold. It’s often best to use gloves when touching it.”

The Dragonborn tried again, now that the surprise of the cold had passed. They brushed their hands through the thick fluffy snow, squishing it between their hands.

“It’s very soft.” The Dragonborn smiled. “I feel like I could play with it forever.”

Brelyna smiled. She had been living in the college for so long that she had gotten used to the snow, it had lost all of its charm on her because she had seen it every day. She found it refreshing to see someone new react to the snow. It made her remember her first time seeing snow, that was a fond day for her and she felt grateful to the Dragonborn that they had reminded her.

“Watch this.” Brelyna said, she then turned around and laid her back into the snow, her arms and legs extended. She then stood back up and looked at the imprint her body left in the snow. The Dragonborn gasped in excitement and copied her actions, making their own imprint in the snow. Brelyna smiled, she had forgotten what it was like to find joy in the little things. She thanked the gods for setting her up with the Dragonborn, everyday the Dragonborn was able to bring her joy and happiness even with the simplest of things. The Dragonborn carefully leant over their imprint and tried to draw their facial features into the snow.

“What about this?” The Dragonborn grabbed Brelyna’s hand. With their hands entwined they pushed them into the gap between their imprints, pulling back it looked like their imprints were holding hand.

“You are so cute.” Brelyna cooed. She then pulled the Dragonborn into a tight embrace. The college once more a distant thought in her mind, she was quite happy spending all her time playing in the snow with her love.

Uthgerd the Unbroken:

The pair had hired a carriage to take them to Dawnstar, as the Dragonborn had never been before and did not know the way. Uthgerd kept a watch all around, keeping an eye out for any sort of trouble such as bandits or dragons. The Dragonborn was watching the road ahead, taking in their surroundings.

Uthgerd noticed they would soon be approaching Dawnstar as heavy snowflakes began to fall around them. She was glad she had her heavy armor on the keep her warm, from the size of the snowflakes she new it was going to get very cold very quick.  

“What is that?” The Dragonborn gasped.

“What?” Uthgerd yelled, her head whipping around trying to find the threat. Even the carriage driver was startled by their outburst.

“That!” The Dragonborn pointed to their leg, upon it was a number of snowflakes. Uthgerd sighed, then settled herself.

“It’s snow.”

“Snow?”

“Yes. Have you never seen snow before?” The Dragonborn shook their head. Uthgerd should have figured, most elves had come from homelands that did not get snow.

“Snow, wow.” The Dragonborn watched as the snow piled onto their limbs. They sat completely still, not wanting to disturb the collection.

“Here we are.” The carriage driver said, stopping the carriage a little way from the town. The Dragonborn finally looked away from the snow on their limbs and looked out, spotting the white ground. The Dragonborn gasped and jumped over the side of the carriage, they began to pick up and play with the snow from the floor throwing it into the air and crushing it between their fingers.

 Uthgerd laughed, she did not see snow often but she was not entirely fond of it. She found it too cold, and hard to walk through when it got particularly thick. However, seeing her love playing in it brought her great joy. She was starting to see the good in snow, in that in can bring happiness to many. A thick layer of snow had settled, going up to their ankles. The Dragonborn was jumping through it, listening to the crunch of the snow.

“Listen to that, it’s such a nice sound.”

“That it is.”

The Dragon born started running through the snow, laughing and trying to catch the still falling flakes. Uthgerd watched happily, she had been sad and lost for a long time before she met the Dragonborn. But now that they were together her life was filled with blissful happy moments such as this. Uthgerd could have enjoyed watching the Dragonborn forever not wanting to ruin the moment, just wanting to let them be happy. However, since she was standing still the cold began to seep through her armor.

“I never really liked the snow.” Uthgerd admitted, making the Dragonborn stop moving. “However, there was one thing I did love about when it snowed.” Uthgerd walked over to the Dragonborn, rubbing the tips of their red ears.

“And what’s that?” The Dragonborn asked.

“When it gets cold like this. It’s a great time for some close, cuddle time so we can warm each other up.” Uthgerd smiled, linking her arm with the Dragonborns.

“Oh, I like that idea a lot. I think that definitely makes snow my favorite weather.” The Dragonborn cheered. Together they walked towards the town.

“You know, I’m starting to like it a lot more.” Uthgerd smiled, watching as the Dragonborn stuck their tongue out trying to catch some snow.

[sluttyquarantinetheory]

Uthgerd the Unbroken: "No magic. no weapons. Just fist. Nevermind that I'm wearing metal gauntlets and full plate."

[thequeenofthewinter]

Skyrim Drinking Contest Rankings

On Sundas of last week, The Bannered Mare held its Annual Mead Drinking Contest sponsored by Honningbrew Meadery. Here are the results of this year’s competition:

Top 5

1. Sam Guevenne (Who is he, and where did he come from? He drank 5 barrels of mead himself and then mysteriously disappeared. If anyone has information please contact the Whiterun Guard.)

2. Farkas (While he gave good old Uncle Sangu—I mean, Sam a run for his money, he was no match for the daedra  man. He passed out after 10 tankards.)

3. Uthgerd the Unbroken (She kept good pace with Farkas for a little while, but then was distracted by a brawl. 8 tankards.)

4. Galmar Stone-Fist (Technically, he should be tied with Uthgerd, but lost third place due to being punched in the nose and then being unable to continue. 7 tankards.)

5. Lydia (She drank 6 tankards and then passed out in the doorway prohibiting anyone from leaving.)

Bottom 5

1. Elisif (Disqualified. She asked to be served Solitude Spiced Wine. This was a mead drinking contest.)

2. Delphine (All talk and no drink. She drank one tankard and then fell asleep at the bar. The Dragonborn drew a moustache on her face with ink.)

3. Rolff Stone-Fist (Disqualified. He started a bar fight with his brother when he knew he was going to lose.)

4. Elenwen (She sent a letter to The Bannered Mare stating that she is a “dignified, high-ranking Thalmor official, and thus I would not be caught dead participating in such barbaric Nordic customs.”)

5. Nazeem (He didn’t bother showing up and therefore was disqualified. Probably because he was trying to find his way to the Cloud District. Poor bastard.)

Dis-honorable mention:

Torvar of the Companions (He passed out before the contest even started.)

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Uthgerd the Unbroken: This Witches Festival, I think I'll just set out a big empty bowl that says "take one".

Uthgerd: That way all the kids will think some jerk took it all.

Vilkas: Have you no shame?

[helgiafterdark]

[gothimothi]

Companions: yo, uthgerd! Kill this kid for us! We gave him a sword, so dw.

Uthgerd: *kills kid on accident*

Companions: :O

[hexergraf]

Olava’s golf clap just sent me into orbit