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the12thnightproject · 19 days

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Chapter One: Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition - Katsuko accepts a mysterious mission that will take her to Azuchi.

Mitsunari x OC; Nobunaga x Mai

Logline - In order to protect a political alliance, Katusko and Mitsunari must pretend an engagement. But this "all business" arrangement is threatened by a coup against Nobunaga... and by feelings.

Notes - Takes place after the ending of Nobunaga's romantic route, but before the epilogue. Slow burn (very slow burn). Friends to lovers. Canon typical violence.

From the Military Notes of Ishida Mitsunari: A primary goal of military planning is to enable Generals to meet their manning objectives for force size, composition, and wartime capability. To attain these objectives, forces must be appropriately structured with motivated personnel who are deployed to jobs suitable for their talents, and given training to improve their skills, even when the country’s security goals evolve to meet new threats.

On occasion, it may be necessary to contract additional personnel, often mercenaries, who are specifically trained to carry out special projects.

Personal comments: Lord Hideyoshi read the above notes and reminded me that the hiring of additional persons should be performed by himself, and none other. He also said something that I am not certain I heard correctly, but it involved Lord Mitsuhide and a word that I am not comfortable writing down.

“She likes you better – it should come from you.” I eyed the missive in Aki’s hand as if it were an unexploded bomb. Ok, technically it was the match. The UXB was Fume. “She hates me. If I give her this, it will make it worse.” Yes, I am a messenger. Delivering messages is my job. At the same time, I’ve managed to do this job for years without becoming victim to the cliché, ‘kill the messenger.’ I had no desire to ruin this streak of not-being-killedness.

“I’ve been travelling for what feels like a thousand years.” There was wry twist to his mouth, as if those imaginary years had stolen not only time but also something incalculable.

It had felt like a thousand years to me too – I’d been here all summer, with only Fume’s dubious companionship. I was so happy to see a friendly face that I was almost willing to do as requested. Almost. “Well then, the time it takes for you to go into the kitchen and hand her the letter will feel like the blink of an eye, won’t it?”

“I cannot handle what is sure to be an unending spate of feminine histrionics.” He grabbed my hand and stuck the letter in it.

“Are you forgetting that I’m also female?” I shoved the letter back into his hands.

“You, my dear child, are never histrionic.” He waved the letter in the air. “Did I mention it’s in Portuguese?”

Dammit.

With a sigh I took the letter back, my fingers closing around the unfamiliar weight of the European vellum.

He patted my shoulder. “Good luck.” Shouldering his travel gear, he turned toward his quarters. “I’m off to sleep until tomorrow. Don’t bother me unless the world is ending. Don’t bother me then either.”

His footsteps trailed off, then I heard him pause at the doorway to the kitchen and tell Fume that he was under no circumstances to be disturbed. He was also probably telling her –

“Francisco sent me a letter?” Fume planted her squat body in front of me (had she teleported across the room?) and reached for the message. She must have been cooking when Aki stopped in to talk to her, because she still had a kitchen knife in her hand. The entrails of whatever she had been dismembering shone red and wet across the blade.

I felt less optimistic about that messenger not being killed thing.

Fume snatched the letter out of my hand, I had the dubious joy of watching her smell it, then clutch it to her cleavage. Finally, she opened it, sighed, and handed it back to me. “Translate this, Kaya.”

No ‘please.’ I considered requesting that she say it, but the letter was going to infuriate her anyway. No reason to push my luck. I opened the letter and skimmed through it, hoping Aki had been wrong about the contents… and-

Aki’s never wrong.

I wonder if Nobunaga’s job offer is still on the table.

“Don’t stand there like a witless idiot, what does he have to say?” Fume glared at me, and a bit of whatever she had been cutting slid to the edge of the knife and dangled. It was almost hypnotizing to watch that bit of intestine swing back and forth and back and –

“Kaya!”

Once, in a forest in Echigo, I encountered the God of War, and I was less scared of him than I am of Fume. I took a discreet step back, knowing that the knife would be flung at me once she heard what Francisco had to say. I opened the letter and read it to Fume. “My Dearest Little Squash Blossom.” (It absolutely did not begin that way, but my bedroom was close enough to Fume’s that I was aware of every pet name Francisco had ever called her. I unfortunately knew the pet name he used for his penis – which was not information I had ever expected or wanted to know).

“And?” She stomped her foot, and that bit of meat finally gave up and fell off the knife, landing on the floor with a loud, squelchy splat. Sigh. I was going to have to scrub that. “I swear Kaya, some days I wonder why Aki bothers to keep you.”

“Sorry Fume-sama. His handwriting is terrible.” I pretended to squint at the letter, rotating it as if to find a better angle. Mentally, I scrambled to find a diplomatic way to rephrase this ‘Dear John’ letter. “He had to travel to Goa for a family obligation.” I took another tiny step back.

“When will he come back to Japan?” When she was upset, Fume’s voice often rocketed through several octaves to reach a glass shattering pitch.

“That, he does not say.” Aside from what amounted to ‘don’t wait for me to return, have a nice life.’ Basically, it was the Sengoku version of break-up-via-text-message.

Fume’s screech of dismay would likely have all dogs in the district howling. The knife came flying, but though Fume has a terrible temper, she has worse aim, and I ducked it. While she was still raining curses upon Francisco, I escaped to the training grounds behind the manor.

During Aki’s absence, in whatever free time I could squeeze from the maid work Fume gave me, I had been working on my archery skills. My self-assigned task had been to become adept at hitting targets while I was on a moving horse. I’d gotten pretty good at this (it had been a really long summer) and could hit the target while seated in the saddle and while standing up in the stirrups.

Unfortunately, my current goal of hitting the target while hanging off the side of my horse was proving difficult. I either needed an extra hand or a better saddle, because my knee kept slipping off the pommel and I inevitably ended up thudding to the ground. Still, I continued to make the attempt. Falling off my horse was better than dealing with Fume when she was #MOOD.

After each fall, Moonlight would halt, trot back to my side, and nudge me with her nose. “What are you doing, you silly human?” At least, that was what I imagined she was saying. Fume might hate me, but my horse was my best buddy.

On my third attempt of the afternoon, I’d managed to get off a shot that landed at the edge of the target before thumping gracelessly to the turf.

Euuf. That one almost knocked the breath out of me.

Even with Moonlight nosing me, I spent a moment on the ground, staring at the puffy clouds in the sky, and pondering my life choices.

“Katsu, was there a purpose to this exercise other than practicing your falling skills?” The dry comment came from the gate to the yard, where a man with long dark hair looked down on me from his position on his own horse.

“Kyubei!” I got to my feet and dusted off my rear end. I couldn’t remember my Azuchi contact ever coming to this part of the country. I always travelled there, not the reverse. “Has something happened?”

“That was my question for you.” He climbed off his horse and glanced back over his shoulder at where the path angled steeply down the mountain. “We haven’t seen you in weeks, and Mitsuhide has an urgent request of your master.”

“Oh. Nothing’s wrong. Aki’s been away for some time. He finally returned this morning.” I glanced back toward the manor, wondering if ‘urgent business from Mitsuhide’ would meet his definition of the world ending. “I’ve been mired here all summer.”

I looped Moonlight’s reigns over the fence so she wouldn’t wander into the garden and eat something that would annoy Fume even more. “In any case, it’s good to see a friendly face. Welcome to The Mountain.” Aki had never actually named his manor, but given its location, most people referred to it this way.

“Mountain is rather an understatement. The path to here is vertical.” Once again, Kyubei looked over his shoulder at the view.

“You ought to see it in winter.” There were times when it was impassible for days. “It’s really an adventure coming and going then.”

He literally turned pale at that. “I will take your word for it.” His hand went to his waist where the edge of an oilskin pack peeped out from the vee of his kimono. “Do you know if Akihira is available to speak with me?”

“Um. Well, he did say he didn’t wish to be disturbed until tomorrow. Is there anything I can help you with in the meanwhile?” I directed Kyubei around to the front.

Kyubei paused and scrutinized me from toes to the top of my head, and I suddenly had the odd feeling he could see right into my soul. “Actually, I believe you can. Katsu, pardon me if this is an intrusive question, but are you a girl?”

Whoops! When I was here at home, I usually didn’t bother with the leather binder I used to flatten my figure, and my hair wasn’t neatly hidden away. Oh well. Too late now. “Not intrusive, and yes – though I am still Katsu. My birth name is Katsuko.”

He smiled. “You might be the perfect solution to our problem, Katsuko.”

Oh? Please. Let me be a solution to a problem, and not-

Just then the woman who generally considered me her problem blocked the front door of the manor. “Kaya stop flirting with this vagrant and come help me clean up.”

“Fume-sama, this man urgently needs to speak with Akihira.” I gestured to Kyubei, who bowed politely, but not with any particular deference.

“He isn’t to be disturbed until tomorrow, and I intend to make sure of that.” She eyed Kyubei with suspicion. “If he must speak with Akihira, then he can spend the night in the stable. Where, I might add, your horse also belongs, and not tied to the gate.”

I can’t win with this woman. “Play along,” I murmured to Kyubei before returning my attention to Fume. “This is Oda Nobunaga’s ally Akechi Mitsuhide. His message is extremely important.”

Kyubei instantly underwent a top to toes transformation – his posture straightened, his eyes took on a sharp gleam, and he flashed Fume a mocking smile. I appreciated how quickly he had done that. Although I was used to passing as a boy, and occasionally as an old man, I’d never tried to impersonate someone particular. “I’m given to understand that Yamaoka Akihira is in residence at present.”

A similar transformation affected Fume, who went from condescending to obsequious in the same amount of time. She bowed low and long. “He does not wish to be disturbed, but I am certain he would wish you treated as an honored guest. Kaya! Prepare a room for Lord Akechi.” She stepped aside and shooed me toward the guest quarters. “My apologies my lord. Akihira has treated this one as a pet.”

A pet would have people to play with, but… details.

When Fume is in a #MOOD, it’s easier to stand back and take it (while imagining a creative revenge to be named later). I turned to go inside, but Kyubei stopped me. “You do me honor, but it is, as I said, a matter of some urgency. Is there any way I can convince you to disturb him?”

“No need.” Aki padded down the hall, dressed in his nighttime robes. “It’s impossible to get any sleep with all this commotion.”

“Aki,” I said, hoping to clue him in before he broke Kyubei’s cover. “Mitsuhide – oof.” Fume had elbowed me, none to gently. “That is, Lord Aketchi travelled all the way from Azuchi to speak with you.”

With a conspiratorial smile, Aki turned to Kyubei. “He did, eh? Well, Mitsuhide, it’s a pleasure to see you… again. Shall we discuss this matter in my receiving room?”

Kyubei inclined his head and followed Aki into the house. I made to join them, but Fume grabbed my arm and yanked me back. “The floor, Kaya. There is something on it.” She pointed to the meat that had dripped from her knife earlier.

With a glance back to me, Kyubei paused. “This involves your messenger. Can she meet with us as well? It would save time.”

The “she” pronoun caused Aki’s eyebrow to raise, but he simply nodded and motioned me along. I resisted the impulse to give Fume a look of triumph.

I hurried after Kyubei into Aki’s office, skidding to a halt to avoid running into him. He’d stopped just inside the door and was looking around. I tried to imagine how the office would look to an outsider: an eye-searing jumble of odds and ends, Western trinkets and Chinese artwork culled from his dealings with the Portuguese traders, a mismatch of both Japanese style and European furnishings, and of course two shogi boards – one of which consisted of his ongoing long-distance game with Mitsuhide. I was used to it… but it could definitely be sensory overload to a stranger.

Kyubei looked down at shogi game-in-process. “This at least, is a familiar sight.”

“One would hope that this visit isn’t simply because Mitsuhide is impatient for my next move.” Aki paused by the firepit to put the tea water on to boil.

“No, of course not. Although, I will admit to being tired of losing to him every night while we wait for your message.” Kyubei glanced back and forth between the chairs that were facing a large European crafted desk, and the cushions around a traditional writing desk.

Aki gestured to the larger desk and chairs, which he preferred to use, claiming height was better on his knees. In all the years I had known him, he had not shown any evidence of knee pain. Once I had pointed that out to him, he’d told me it was because he sat in Nanban chairs. I think he chooses to sit there because it makes him look like a king facing his subjects.

Once we were seated at the desk, with cups of te- wait. Was Aki drinking… coffee? I sniffed the air and glanced at his cup.

“My latest find from a Nanban merchant.” He took a long sip. “Who, I believe, purchased it from a Dutch trader. Do you wish to taste it?” He pushed the cup toward me.

I knew what coffee tasted like, but ‘Katsu’ would not, so I took a sip then made a face that was not entirely fake. “It’s rather strong. Slightly bitter.” I don’t mind bitter. But I like my tea.

I passed the cup to Kyubei who also took a taste. “I imagine it could be an acquired taste but…hm.” He tapped his fingers on the cup. “I wonder if I might have some of this to take back to my master to see if he can taste it.”

That was an odd turn of phrase, but Aki simply nodded. “I’ll send a package with instructions on how to prepare it back with you. Meanwhile, I understand you have an important message from him?”

Kyubei handed over the message. Aki unfolded it and read through it with a few absent-minded hmmms of his own, a chin rub, and sidelong glances at me. “Mitsuhide asks if I have an apprentice or messenger who can pass as a woman. It appears to me that having Katsuko pretend to be a boy pretending to be a girl would be unnecessarily complicated.”

I imagine Julie Andrews would have something to say about that.

“Indeed.” Kyubei glanced at me critically. “However, we can do as well with Katsuko as herself. True, there would still be a bit of a disguise involved, but no one expects there to be any danger.”

No one expects the Spanish inquisition either.

I’m not really bothered by the idea of danger. After the past couple of months, I’d gladly take a change of scenery and would welcome. The denizens of Azuchi couldn’t be any worse than Fume, and even if there was some danger, it wasn’t likely to throw a bloody kitchen knife at me.

Aki rubbed his chin. “Kyubei, do you mind giving us a moment of privacy to discuss the matter?”

Kyubei bowed. “Not in the least. I’ll find your, er, kind, chatelaine and ask for a place where I can wash the mountain off me.” It sounded like he and the mountain were not fond of one another.

Once Kyubei had whisked himself away with all the discretion and attitude of an upper crust British butler (or at least a Netflix version of same), Aki turned to me. “I suppose the first question is, do you wish to do this?”

“My first preference would be to go with you on your next mission.” Aki often took me with him on short jobs, but not the long journeys where he went away, only to return looking as if the fate of the world rested on his shoulders… I would like to share that burden with him, if he would let me. Somewhere along the line, I’d stopped being just an apprentice to him, but he still shielded me from much of his work.

Aki smiled at me, but he looked … sad. Sad? Not an emotion that I usually associated with him. “That’s very … kind of you Katsuko. But these are missions that I must do on my own.”

“If that is the case then yes, please send me to Azuchi.” Not wanting to sound too overeager to be gone from home, I added, “If Fume and I spend much more time together, the next time you return, I cannot promise we’d both be alive to greet you.”

He laughed and ruffled my hair. “Alright my fierce… apprentice. Bear in mind you’ll be working for Mitsuhide who will not have as much tolerance for your brand of cheekiness as I do.”

I stole another sip of his coffee just to tease him. “You did teach me manners, remember?”

He groaned. “I do remember. That’s why I’m worried.” He looked out the window, but I had a feeling he wasn’t seeing lush summer greenery in the yard, but something less friendly… something that weighed on him. Then he seemed to shake it off and looked back to me with that familiar professorial tone. “As it happens, you’ll also be spending time in the Hida region, and it suits me very much to have someone in that area, so I’m inclined to send you with Kyubei.”

I sat up straighter. Aside from the couple of weeks I had spent in the booksellers in Azuchi, I’d never had a solo mission. “What needs doing in Hida?”

Aki rustled around with the papers on his desk and pulled out a map. “There’s a great deal of mining in the area – many parties are very interested in those mines as the desire for Japanese silver exports increases. It goes without saying that Nobunaga wants control, but there may be people not happy for him to have that. I don’t expect that the area will destabilize – at least not quickly, but when you return, I would like to know your impression of the situation.”

Thrilled that he trusted me with this, I lifted my chin and fought back the urge to smile. Professionals don’t smile. “I won’t let you down.” Again though, there was part of my brain that had on repeat, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

“I know you won’t.” He took a large sip of coffee, savoring it as if it were the best beverage on the planet. “Or you’ll spend the next year solely under Fume’s authority.” He softened that threat with a smile. “I trust you know how to take care of yourself, but it goes without saying that I hope you’ll be careful and stay safe.”

Maybe it went without saying, but he had never before said it to me, especially not in that tone of voice that almost made me want to hug him.

And, so, I did hug him, and after a startled moment, he held onto me tightly, his palms pressed firmly into my back.

Although Aki encouraged Kyubei to spend the night and get an early and well-rested start in the morning, he preferred to leave right away, claiming that time was of the essence. Kyubei advised me not to bother packing any of “Kaya’s” clothing – advice that cheered me immensely, as Kaya’s clothing was a dreary pile of ugly kimonos in varying shades of mud. “Nobunaga will see that an appropriate wardrobe is provided for you. The Lady Mai is a talented seamstress and will be happy to outfit you.”

That didn’t provide much of a clue to what I would be doing, or what I should pack, but I simply threw together everything I would have brought along were I going on a trip with Aki, as well as my (sadly fraying) portrait of Toshiie, and the portable shogi set that Aki had given me on my most recent birthday. Though I knew I’d be dressing as a female, I chose to travel as Katsu – it was safer. Moreover, ‘Katsu’ was familiar, and I’d learned to keep as many familiar things close to me as possible, lest they disappear forever.

“I’m glad you were quick,” Kyubei said once we were on our way. “I do not want to make this descent after dark.”

“It’s actually easier if you can’t see where you are going,” I said, just for the fun of seeing him turn pale again. “At least if you fall off the mountain, you won’t see the rocks before you hit them.”

“I can’t wait for Mitsuhide to meet you,” he muttered as we led our horses along the steep path. Riding would have been faster, but I didn’t know how surefooted his horse was. Also, I doubted Kyubei even wanted to add another four feet of height to the equation.

“Why?” In truth, after delivering so many messages to him via Kyubei over the past four years, I was surprised that our paths hadn’t crossed.

“No reason… Katsu, can we stop talking until we reach flatter territory? I’d prefer to concentrate on not plunging to my death.” Kyubei sounded out of breath.

I glanced over my shoulder and felt bad for teasing him. I mean, put me in front of a tunnel, a cave or even a tiny windowless room, and I’d be a sobbing mess. “Alright, but to be honest, it looks worse than it is. Nobody’s ever fallen off the mountain in the summer. Well, not anyone who wasn’t drunk first.”

He grumbled something along the lines of about needing to be drunk to take this path.

It wasn’t until we made our way to flatter terrain that he regained his normal distantly friendly attitude. By the time we had camped for the night, he had relaxed enough to entertain me with some of his exploits.

“How did you manage to pretend to be Mitsuhide so quickly?” I set a copper tea kettle over the fire. “Oh, I wouldn’t eat those if I were you,” I added as Kyubei shook some of the coffee beans into his hand.

He ignored my advice and bit into one but managed to keep a straight face while what I imagined was very bitter coffee attacked his taste buds. “Some of it is training – but I’ve also had a lot of practice. He and I have exchanged identities in the past.”

“Really? I thought Mitsuhide was… older?” I’d once seen the back of his head – in fact that was the only glance I had ever seen of him – and his hair was silver-white.

“No, we’re of the same age.” Kyubei poured the coffee beans back into their metal tin. “Put me in a silver wig and anyone who doesn’t know him well would be fooled.”

Wow – I bet that made them fun at Halloween. “Will I be in disguise too?” Please don’t say housemaid.

“We’ll be presenting you Oda Princess.” Kyubei had a faint smile on his face.

“A wha-” I paused, realizing I had spoken with an unprincesslike mouthful. I swallowed, the tried… and failed… to come up with an appropriately regal reply. “Er, not that I’m not flattered, but you could have gotten an actress and done just as well.”

Kyubei inclined his head. “Indeed. Our Princess might have some additional duties more generally assigned to personal guards. But truly, as I said, we don’t expect this to be very dangerous.”

In other words, Princess-slash-bodyguard. On one hand, that sounded pretty awesome… aside from that voice in my head had that had swelled to an eight-part chorale: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

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#TBTMND #A Mitsunari Night's Dream #Ikemen Sengoku #fanfic #mitsunari ishida #ikesen mitsunari #oc katsuko #katsuverse

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