#this sounded funnier in my head

[dougielombax]

“Clearly you don’t own an air fryer.”

Oh YEAH?!

Well clearly YOU haven’t read the Silmarillion!!!!!

[blindsheepart]

Dungeon meshi fandom after todays episode be like:

Anime watchers only: OMG THAT'S SO DARK WTH!!! 😨

Manga readers: we'll get yuri animated next week yaay~ 🥳

[tzarrz]

This came to me in a dream - PART 2

[falsebrothers-collective]

What if I just started going by a different name and pronouns and had different likes and ideas and memories and opinions and presented differently and acted differently... but like I'm still me though... no I'm not a system at all...

[pandoraroid]

do you guys think that when milo loses things around their place and then sweetheart finds em for him it's just

sweetheart: i believe this belongs to you, mr. greer

milo, grinning: why, yes officer. thank you

[echollama]

Honkai Star Rail spoilers real not clickbait

[buddieswhvre]

Episode 7.04

Buck: What? You think I'm in love with you? Absolutely NOT. Do I want to date you? No. But do I want you to see other people? ABSOLUTELY NO. Maybe we can go on a few dates but do I wanna ask you out? No.

Eddie: ....

Buck: But do I want you to ask me out? YES PLEASE.

Eddie: Buck, you wanna go on a date?

Buck: I'VE ALREADY RESERVED US A TABLE AT 7:00 DON'T BE LATE EDDIE!

[wastingmytimehere]

The best courier service for Durgetash is them sticking their letters on the assassins they send to “kill” each other. Of course the letters are just plucked from their bodies after they make their valiant sacrifice.

‘Are you ok, Lord Gortash? Somebody just tried to kill you!’ Says one of his noble “friends” at a dinner party as some Bhaalist barged in, trying to kill him.

‘Yes, I’m quite alright,’ Gortash says as he’s searching the corpse. ‘Ah a letter from dearest, ahem. Excuse me I’m being booty called.’

[jacuzziwaters]

I'm asexual in practice only. In theory however....

[earnono]

Engage Byleth skill activate: ✨Dance of the Goddess✨

[chaoticmannamedoliver]

Nastya: Did you just lick the back of your hand like a cat??

Jonny, a creature: ....yea? im eating chips- of course im gonna clean my hand!

Nastya: we have bowls!

Jonny: No need for bowls if the chips are already in a bag!!

(This sounded funnier in my head)

[dougielombax]

Control be like:

Start of the game: A gun? Okay. Should be useful against the Horrors.

Later: The Horrors are kicking my ass but I’ll get through this one way of another.

Ashtray Maze: I CAN’T BE FUCKING STOPPED!!!!! *SMASHES A MONSTER’S HEAD IN WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!!!*

Edit:

@the-haiku-bot

YOU AGAIN????!!!!!!!!!!

[metiredlr]

Kakyoin getting an egg from Jotaro as a birthday gift along with this cake

[sigmasupreme]

If the 5th Edition Player's Handbook was so popular why wasn't there a Player's Handbook 2?

[b0njourbeach]

Oh my hell, Guys!

Hear me out!

So some people call their kids after flowers or plants, right? Rose, Daisy, Iris and so on, you get the point.

Now imagine this:

Ruggie meets such a person and they introduce themselves and Ruggie just asks with the straightest face possible:

"Were your parents hungry when they named you?"

[i-like-anything-water]

Marinettte, determined: Eat the rich!

Chloe, already taking off her jacket: If you must