#v unsafe to do so close to a railing

[exotic-inquiry]

Day one: View

[toxicanonymity]

omg personal trainer joel is so good!!!!!!! can u pls pls pls do doctor!joel? :D

A/N: Can i offer you a bite of NURSE!Joel? IDK why, but I needed to write him.

Dark Nurse Joel (sex pollen)

<1k words / dark!Joel x f!reader

WARNINGS: nonconsensual sex pollen dosing, unsafe P in V, fingering, gaslighting, degradation. Three short scenarios, unedited chaos.

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Nurse Joel would look so fine in his turquoise scrubs with the sleeves almost too small.  The pants would hug his ass. He would inject sex pollen into your IV bag and. . .

He’d stress that if you need anything at all, you just press that call button.  There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for a patient.  He’d squeeze your hand and make eye contact,  watching your pupils dilate with his charm and his touch.  Then he’d leave the room before it takes effect and not come back until you’re so desperate you hit the call button. You’d be touching yourself when he came back in, and he’d act embarrassed for you, quickly closing the blinds and locking the door. “Whoa, whoa, what’s goin’ on, sugar?” He’d act caught off guard like he doesn’t know what to do.

He’d rest his big, masculine hand on your inner thigh as he “thinks” about what to do, then you’d move his hand where you want it and he’d groan when he feels how wet you are. He’d circle your clit lazily at first with two flattened fingers. “Fuck, sweetheart. This what ya need?” And you’d grab his hand and pant “inside, inside.”  He’d take a deep breath then plunge his fingers into you with a shaky moan. Then he’d hold eye contact while he finger fucks you til you come.

Maybe he’d even agree to keep it a secret as long as you helped him out with the situation you just caused of him being rock-hard on the job and unable to continue his rounds until he comes.  Then he might degrade you for being so desperate and he'd hold this over your head the rest of the time you're there.

OR . . .

He'd strap you to the hospital bed with leather restraints, wait for it to take effect, then casually come by and stand in the doorway with his huge arms crossed, watching you wake up feral. He’d close the door to your room and pretend to be looking at the paperwork on the back of the door while he waits for you to beg for it. “How ya feelin'?” he'd ask. You wouldn't know what to say. You'd ask him to let you out. “Afraid I can’t do that. Anything I can bring ya?” Your eyes would be glued to his crotch where a bulge is growing. 

He’d gently pinch the hem of your hospital gown where it rests on top of your thighs.  He’d slowly rub the cloth between his fingers as he asks darkly, “Anything I can do for ya?” You’d answer in a quiet sequence "ums" and "uhs" and he'd wait patiently as you to tried to find the words to ask your nurse to dick you down. Then you'd just reach for his cock. He wouldn't stop you. He'd sigh as you stroked it. Then when you grabbed his cock, he'd whisper “good girl,” then take it out.

He’d hold the rails of your bed while he joins you on it. He'd get between your knees and as you squirm and sweat with need. Then he’d shove himself into you and let you do most of the work, bucking up against him as he rocks into you.  “This what ya needed?” He'd spread your legs wide open and hook your knees over the bed rails before finishing inside.

OR . . .

He’d lock the door and sit in the visitor chair and already have his dick out, stroking himself with ultrasound jelly he snagged from the supply room. Looking at you intensely as you wake up desperately cock hungry and when you see what he’s doing, it only gets more intense. You’d start trying to take your IV out and he’d quickly put his dick away and say “whoa, what are ya doin’, sweetheart?”

He’d come over to ‘help’ you as if he wasn’t jacking off in the corner five seconds ago.  He’d gaslight you that you were having a dream. When you reached for his cock, he’d act nervous and reluctant and eventually act like he’s caving into your desperation.  “Okay, okay, shit, I ain’t gonna turn ya down,” he’d say as he looked you up and down, marveling at your feral state. “But let’s bring this with us, hmm?” He’d help roll the IV across the room. He’d sit down in the visitor’s chair again and let you ride him, acting like he’s doing you a favor.  Then when he's about to come he'd pull you down and make you milk his cock. Then afterwards, he'd act like you took advantage of him but kindly, he's not gonna report it.

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thanks for reading <333

oh and here's PT Joel if you're looking for him - personal trainer , part 2

[mercysought]

@neophoria​​​​​ . it takes courage to admit fear.  [ takemura ] . from one of these memes // dark tower . accepting

   “Well, that’s sweet.” and that was pretty close to what she’s heard him say about good things, even if she needed to squint to see it. Johnny and Valerie had both called her, in many different words, a love sick idiot. Vivian knew many things, one of them bein’ that she didn’t think this was love per se. It sure felt nice to be seatin’ next to him and hearing him talk, but that might simply be because the sound of the city in the background and his voice was as close as nice white noise as she could really afford these days.

Or maybe it was, who knew at this point and why did it matter? She needed someone to be with her in that moment because she was this close to just jumping right off the wagon. Johnny had taken her choice and her streak of keepin’ herself fuckin’ clean so now she felt herself shaking like a leaf. Angry at the air, angry at herself for trustin’ Johnny Silverhand like a fucking gonk. She didn’t even know what the fuck he had actually gone off to do with all the details and that was probably for the best. In the end, it didn’t help with the shaky hands and cold sweats that came from making her walk right back into the Afterlife and asking for a Jackie Wells. 

And that sounded divine. No time like this to feel oblivion bless you. 

   “Takes more courage to admit when you’ve fucked up though.“ she snaps herself back, looking up to Goro with a smile, flickering the hair off her eyes Vivian adjusts the weight she had been putting on the rail. Opening the plastic bottle, she takes a sip from the water, keeping her eyes on him “Not that I’ve ever done anything wrong” snorting, V. winks “ever.“

Not that she was about to admit any fucking up, and even from him. He was just as out of his depth than her though he’d do well to keep rememberin’ that if he was to talk shit he would get hit just as quick. A love sick puppy, just a massive dumbass. Viv looks at Takemura with a smaller smile, less intense in its snark and fun. She takes a large sip from the water, emptying it in a single go and crushing the plastic with a satisfying crack. She wasn’t a love sick gal, she was a dying one that had a pretty helping hand. 

Hey, you can’t really taste heartbreak or disappointment if you’re a dead woman walkin’! Especially if you just came off the wagon and are carrying about the whole NC’s weight of sin in the shape of shame on your shoulders.

   “I’m a pretty big coward, though.” clearing her throat, she leans towards him who hadn’t moved a single muscle since they had arrived. Resting her elbow again on the rail, she leans now towards him, closer than she would have otherwise. He was surprised, but didn’t move or try to leave which was encouraging regardless if it was right or not “Pretty big shame really” her shoulder brushes against him and her voice lowers to a whisper as she smiles. His lips are close and she can hear his breath being held. “a girl like me could have absolutely killed it with a bit more courage.” 

She could kiss him, in this run down apartment complex overlooking a sea of trash in the neon light. Viv really could and she was tempted, boy was she tempted if nothing else to see how he would have reacted. Looking at Takemura it was a good fifty fifty that he would kiss her back but she was feelin’ those odds.

Instead, she just smiles into the curled fingers that cover her lips before she straightens her back and pushes herself off.

   “Anyway, gotta spin.“ she needed to find Vince, or Val, or anyone else that might convince her that cracking a beer open was as bad of an idea as just hanging from the edge of the building. Twirling the dark blue helmet, she turns to Takemura as she walks away “I even brought my helmet!“

She guessed Johnny put the hard line in the sand at unsafe bike riding. Hand jobs while driving and both drunk as shit? All good but a bike ride? Oof, no ma’am, that’s a hard line.

[amongthedrowned]

i love love love ur zombie apoc au!!!! please take this ask as a chance to drop some lore/worldbuilding thats probably not gonna get into a fic but u wanna share anyway :D

Thank you!!! I will absolutely take that chance! My favorite part that probably won’t make it into a big fic is the Pogtopia arc: because the main fics take place post Phil’s arrival, Pogtopia will only be referenced.

The Pogtopia arc took place in an abandoned mining camp outside of Essempy—people were afraid to use it because it was unsecured. Essempy’s walls are fortified, and there are alarms if containment is breached by zombies. However, in Pogtopia, there aren’t any barricades.

As a result, there always needs to be someone on watch. Unfortunately, with only three people living there, it was difficult to maintain a constant guard.

Techno always took the night watch. He justified it by saying that he didn’t trust Wilbur and Tommy to get the job done. Really, he wanted to let them sleep. Because of those sleepless nights, he’d take naps during the day, which Tommy teased him for.

In the beginning, the three of them would often sit around the campfire. Wilbur would sing and play songs on the guitar Tommy found for him. Techno didn’t like it, claiming that the noise was unsafe, but he secretly enjoyed the music. It was an escape from the tedium of day-to-day life.

The mining camp was in a precarious position at the mouth of a ravine, so Techno put up makeshift rails to prevent anyone from falling into the crevices.

Tommy and Tubbo talked on walkie talkies during Tommy’s stay in Pogtopia. While Tommy kept it on his person at all times, Tubbo often hid his walkie talkie under his bed frame.

Techno stored most of his valuables outside the camp in a secluded cave. There, he tethered Carl.

The three of them told stories about where they thought Phil was and what he was doing. Tommy was the first to suggest that he was occupied creating Minecraft, and it became an inside joke. There was a two-day period where Tubbo actually believed their wild stories.

Schlatt knew Techno from before the festival, before the apocalypse. He initially met him when doing outreach for a company at the college Techno was attending.

Before Techno attacked Tubbo, Schlatt whispered something to him. Though he pretends not to have heard, Quackity was close enough to catch what Schlatt said. While Quackity didn’t tell anyone what he’d heard, it was one of the reasons he later created the Butcher Army.

His first day in Pogtopia, Fundy accidentally detonated some stray explosives, spooking everyone who was living there at the time. Wilbur gave him “a stern talking-to,” which translated into a pat on the back.

Techno started a potato farm at Pogtopia. Wilbur and Tommy made fun of it, but, to their surprise, Techno ended up harvesting a large crop. The day before the Pogtopia v. Manberg war, they ended up cooking the potatoes as a “last supper.”

Schlatt gave Dream not a book, but a collection of files marked classified.

After the war, Techno came back and scavenged what remained in Pogtopia. He took the last of the potatoes with him when he travelled North—Techno didn’t want Tommy to get anything that remained.

(The Injustice of Undeath masterpost)

[whyisnicole]

Show Me Your Darkness - Chapter 4

Hey guys! I knnow last chapter was kinda slow (sorry >.<) but I hope you like how it cotinues on from here! Please let me know what you’re thinking, and I really hope you enjoy <3

Trigger Warnings:

Language, violence, slight gore, a cute cat, possible language

Firmly shutting and locking the door behind you, you take a quick glance around your surroundings to affirm yours and Alex's security before making your "nightly route".

 You start on your way, calmly strolling through the three blocks and two alleyways it takes to get your favorite little 24 hour coffee house, pulling your jacket a bit closer to your body as the chill of night encircles you.

You've become a good acquaintance of a lovely older couple, named Donnie and Barbra, who run the shop, and they know a little about your living situation. And, while you try to deny their generosity, they always insist on giving you and Alex a little something.

Tonight, being no different, you make your way from the store with a to-go order of Donnie's homemade apple fritters, a bottle of water, and a couple of doughnuts. This being the only food you'd gotten all day.

They were too good to you.

 With a quick hug and wave goodbye, you make your way outside and begin walking towards the usual meet-up spot of your little group of vigilante friends. However, you only get about a block away before Miko, the local stray cat, slinks his way from outside of a darkened alley, and prowls your way.

 "Hey Miko," you coo, eliciting a scratchy meow in response from the roughened tabby.

 "You hungry?" You ask, crouching down to give him a quick pet as he head-buts your leg and rubs his body along your pants - leaving evidence of his presence behind in the form of a light coat of shedded fur.

 Giving a quiet yet humor filled sigh, you gently tear off and place about three fourths of your apple fritter down for him as he goes to town. Little grunts and intakes of air are distinctly heard as he devours his dinner.

 "You enjoy, Miko. Stay safe, handsome," You smile as you pop the remainder of the dessert in your mouth, and continue on your way to the well-placed apartment building. Opening up your bag of doughnuts and eating a few bites of the first one, you see a familiar looking homeless man resting on a bus bench about thirty feet away.

 Without a second thought, you jog over to him and offer him your second doughnut. You apologize that there was only one left, but he's so delighted to receive anything that he doesn't care. Leaving him with his snack and the unopened bottle of water, you offer up a small smile and continue on.

 Don and Barbra had always told you hat they were happy to help as long as it was for good, and you knew they'd have no problem with you using their gifts to bless others less fortunate than you. They'd taught you quite a few things in your years of living in Queens, and humbleness and gratitude were definitely two of the main things.

  Approaching the run down but fully occupied building, you slide your way to the fire escape and climb the seemigly-endless flights of stairs leading to the roof.

When you finally reach the top, you inhale a deep breath, exhaling as you take in the city skyline surrounding you.

 You'd seen it countless times, yes, but you appreciate it every single one. You saw lights, buildings, ocean, and, most importantly, life.

Life that you knew you had to protect.

  Still waiting for your friends arrival, you saunter over to the side of the building, grabbing onto the railing as you perch yourself on top of it and decide to release your wings.

It was a bit of a painful process, forcing them from the strengthened yet sensitive muscles of your back and out of your skin between your shoulder blades, so you preferred to do it when nobody was around.

 You took of your jacket and exposed your tailored black V-neck that you had sliced slits into with the idea of your wings in mind. Focusing your thoughts and redirecting your energy, you slowly force the black, angel/raven type wings from your body, giving a few whimpers of pain as you pull them through your skin.

When it was all done, you take in a shaky breath and wipe the sweat from your brow, swallowing down the taste of copper in your mouth from biting your lip a bit too hard. Fixing your sight on the city before you, you focus on healing yourself; relaxing your muscles and closing up your aggravated skin, relishing in the sensation of finally being able to unclench your teeth as everything settled back into place.

 "About time you showed up," a familiar voice spoke, startling you out of your daze. Jumping a little at the scare, you feel a strong hand grab hold of your upper arm at the same time you ready your wings to fly if necessary.

Looking up, you're met with none other than Frank Castle and Matthew Murdock themselves.

About time is right.

"Geez, Red," Frank chastises, "You're gonna end up killin' somebody if you keep sneaking up on people like that.

 Giving a sigh of relief, you're back on the solid rooftop, feet steady on the sturdy ground. You can't help but give into laughter as you hear Matt muffle out a response of "Already have," causing everyone to crack a smile at the slightest.

 "So," Matt continues, "How's your night been so far?"

 "Ah you know, same old same old." Kicking a pebble and watching it bounce off into the abyss of grey, you begin your trek towards the other side of the building.

 "I stopped by that coffee shop that I always -"

"The one with the homemade apple fritters and fresh brewed coffee twenty four seven?" Matt interrupts.

 "Brink of Don, Yep, that's the one."

You smile, briefly turning around to acknowledge his question and note that him and Frank are keeping up with you.

 "Anyways, afterwards I found that stray cat, fed it some apple fritter -"

"Of course you did." Frank smiles, looking off towards the skyline as he tries to hide the smirk clearly evident in his voice."

Giving a quiet laugh and shake of your head, you continue.

"Then I checked out the local alleys. Nothing. Made sure no wannabe heroes were getting pumbled in a parking lot. They weren't. And then, finally, I made my way here. Oh! And Wade sends his love, saw him tonight."

 Upon hearing the name, a genuine groan of annoyance is heard from Frank, while Matt just sighs and shakes his head, folding his arms like some sort of disappointed parent.

 "Yeah, 'course he does." Frank sighed, knowing that while both he and Murdock aren't the best of friends with the undying vigilante, they wouldn't dare try and get you to stay away from him. They'd suggested it early on, but now they were at the point  that they saw that yes, Deadpool has his qualms, he's not the worst influence for you to be around. In fact, they were almost hoping for you to rub off on him… They were still trying to figure out if that's actually worked or not.

 You can just never tell with that guy…

"Well, sounds like you've had quite the night then," the unseeing yet all sarcastic Daredevil snides, purely joking.

"Oh haven't I ever." You smile, reaching the railing of the edge of the building and taking a look at the vacant looking warehouse a few buildings down.

 "You guys ready to do this tonight? I know it's been a lot of talk, but I think we've got what we need." You ask, looking back at your partners.

This operation has been in the works for months. Apparently this deserted building isn't so deserted at all.

Drug cartels, money laundering, human, weapon, and drug trafficking - you name it you'll find it in there.

And it was time to do something about it.

"Yeah I think so," replies Frank, followed by an affirming nod from the masked Murdock.

"You positive you wanna do this tonight? It's a lot." The question was meant as an out - none of you ever wanted the other to feel unready going into things, but sometimes that was what it took. You were and are never really safe, not being who you guys are. And, those bad people that you take out, they make other people unsafe as well. So may as well do something about it whenever opportunity arises because if you wait until you feel one hundred percent ready, nothing would ever get done.

 "Positive." You affirm, rolling your neck and stretching out your wings before looking back towards the warehouse.

"Alright then," Frank speaks, loading his gun and readying his weapons;

"Let's do this."

 Placing your hands on the cold, metal bar of the building's barrier, you jump up and place your feet on as well.

 "YN…" You hear Matt warn as your mouth turns up into a smirk.

 "Meet ya there, slowpokes," you smile, falling off the building with your arms open wide, feeling the bitter cold slap against your face as you plummet down, down, down - until you stop. Your wings, spread out and gently flapping, steadily holding you up off the ground before you made your silent flight to the warehouse.

 "Where can I get me a pair of those…" Frank mutters, glancing down at where you had just disappeared to.

"The same place I can get a new pair of eyes." Matt retorted, desperately trying to keep his laughter from bursting out at Franks stunned expression that even Murdock could detect.

 "Geez," Frank says, shaking his dropped head and making his way towards the fire escape;

 "It's gonna be a long night..."

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Tag List:

@eridanuswave

[sirlorde7-blog]

The UK is such a mess.

Poverty, homelessness, fewer jobs for un/low-skilled workers, kids starving, old people dying, more kids in care, Brexit, adult social care and the NHS!

Parents struggling financially face many problems, not least of all potentially and unintentionally placing additional stress on children. Kids growing up poor understand that no-one knows where the next meal is coming from, or if the electricity will stay on, or if they’ll get lunch during the summer holidays. Not to mention there is no money for extra-curricular activities, day trips out or even a new football to kick around in order to stay out of trouble. (https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/dec/02/growing-up-poor-britains-breadline-kids-review-the-lives-stolen-by-poverty)

Too many children live in temporary accommodation, often sharing one room with siblings and parents. They are expected to focus at school, whilst teachers apply pressure to “perform” like monkeys - sit this test, pass that exam, all so the school can justify itself and draw down funding. Our children are more stressed than ever and we’re raising a generation filled with mental and physical illnesses and conditions that a few decades ago hadn’t even been heard of! “The most recent quarterly statistics recorded 84,740 households in temporary accommodation at the end of March 2019. This represents a 77% increase since December 2010, where the use of temporary accommodation hit its lowest point since 2004″ (https://researchbriefings.parliament.uk/ResearchBriefing/Summary/SN02110).

Countless parents struggling with with finance, work, housing, accessing support, healthcare and more, may also be suffering with mental/physical health conditions; and therefore, the whole family suffers. And before anyone gets on my case about people on benefits, most of the 4.1 million children living in poverty have at least one parent working! We've created a whole new 'class' of people in the UK in recent years - the "working poor" (https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/dec/04/four-million-british-workers-live-in-poverty-charity-says).

However, companies want their profits and too many large corporations make millions, if not billions every year, whilst desperate people cling to work, hoping their child isn’t sent home sick from school, praying their car makes it on the little bit of fuel they’ve just put in; and plugging away for hours on end without any food because there is nothing in the cupboard to make up a packed-lunch and their kids are receiving free school meals because there’s just no other choice.

There are no council houses, social housing is a joke (waiting lists approx. 7-10yrs) in some local authority areas, and private rents are through the roof. Our NHS is slashing services, and closing clinics and local hospitals, which reduces the provision to those most in need; including mental health teams and adult social care (https://nhsfunding.info/symptoms/10-effects-of-underfunding/cuts-to-frontline-services/).

However, children’s Social Services appear to doing just fine in the sense that they’re busy enough accusing parents of abuse and/or neglect, simply because they’re battling ‘life’ on a daily basis. They’re very quick to remove children from ‘good enough’ parents, fast-track the paperwork to court and apply for removal orders left right and centre; leading to private Fostering and Adoption agencies cashing in! This video highlights just some of the issues with Social Services and the system as a whole: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7TcFWqKja8).

Trying to 'survive' creates stress, which has many wide-reaching physical and mental implications; from hormone imbalance, metabolic disorders and weight gain, to fatigue and eating problems. Many parents do go without so that their kids can eat, yet they still gain weight and lose energy, feeling exhausted every day, simply due to the stress they're under. Choosing between heating and eating creates health issues, with malnutrition identified in the 5th richest nation in the world and the elderly dying of being unable to afford the gas fire (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/cold-weather-uk-winter-deaths-europe-polar-vortex-a8224276.html).

The Labour Party, under Jeremy Corbyn, aim to privatise energy, water, rail and the postal service, as well as some other utilities and services; however, they need to go one or two steps further. The NHS offer should extend to in-home care and the running and regulation of care homes (with those who can afford to pay, doing so) and the government should regain control of children’s services, with private fostering and adoption companies being take out of existence (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/23/revealed-companies-running-inadequate-uk-care-homes-make-113m-profit).

Unless something changes on a national scale, with a new government and new direction, the mental health crisis is only going to get worse, along with other social problems such as excessive drinking and drug-taking (used as a form of escape), increased crime rates and gang membership, and anti-social behaviour (often due to boredom), etc. Parenting hasn’t become worse, people are fighting to survive! Nurses are going to food banks, fire fighters work second jobs; Police recruits are low caliber due to the starting pay offered and standards being lowered during recruitment drives. Teachers are watching kids fall asleep in class because they’re not eating and sleeping properly.

You only need to take a look at some news headlines to realise just how out of control everything is. On top of the national political and socio-economic issues facing the UK, privateers are pressing on with a needless and expensive high-speed rail network - HS2 is now an £88 BILLION pound project! Imagine what could be done with all that money (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/sep/03/hs2-to-be-delayed-by-up-to-five-years). It would certainly solve a few problems.

So whilst business commuters might, eventually, be able to arrive at their destination 30mins earlier than before, the general population is duct-taping their shoes together and sewing holes in socks, just so they can go to work to earn enough to barely keep a roof over their head and food on the table, and the big businesses just keep getting richer (https://www.theguardian.com/news/2019/dec/03/uk-six-richest-people-control-as-much-wealth-as-poorest-13m-study).

And what about the planet? Are poor people really interested in recycling, sustainable living and providing a nurturing garden habitat to attract wildlife (for those lucky enough to have access to a garden of course)? Some might be, but in the main, people are overworked, underpaid, stressed beyond belief, exhausted and trying not to yell at the kids or argue with their partner because everyone feels the same and is rubbing each other up the wrong way.

The UK desperately needs radical change. Never mind the disaster that is Brexit, the more urgent issue is “survival”. Charities, foodbanks and the like help, but they should even need to exist. There is more than enough money, food and water to go round; it’s simply a case of sharing the wealth.

Controlled procreation should also be on the agenda. Not the systematic theft of children by Social Services, ‘upcycling’ kids to ‘better’ families to reduce the number of underclass and bring down the welfare bill. But the responsible, educated, proactive approach from people choosing to have children. Ideally, a couple would stay together and have up to 2 children, live in a safe, warm and comfortable home, raise them well and encourage them to do the same. However, many are choosing to have 3 or 4 children, and in some countries many more, and the planet is overpopulated. Yes there are issues around adult separation and rape case where the pregnancy isn’t terminated, but this focuses on more general planned parenthood.

Birth control and education must be provided worldwide and the relevant support provided to parents who need help - often, it’s simply a little guidance or support, but instead, in the UK they’re often faced with meetings, court appearances and parenting assessments, as they are accused of not being able to cope. As a human race, there is a responsibility not to over-produce more humans! Earth is running out of resources and the air and water is becoming more polluted. Eventually, people will be hunting each other and fighting over scraps because everything else is gone. Millions will have died off through dehydration or starvation. Medical services won’t be available. Money will not longer be of value - unless of course you can digest it to gain a few dollars worth of energy.

Also, we’re so intent on living longer, curing disease and holding onto pregnancies which otherwise would have self-terminated; yet we’re overrunning the planet with more and more elderly, sick, disabled humans needing to be cared for. We’re creating more problems than we’re solving and we’re not being responsible. We all want to keep loved ones close, but can we afford their care, or do we have somewhere to place them until they finally pass? Of course Cancer is a multi-billion-pound industry and therefore, sick people equals profit for big pharma. China had a one-child policy which created many issues for a long time, however, they reduced their population and increased it to 2 only as recently as 2016 (https://www.newscientist.com/article/2214179-chinas-two-child-policy-linked-to-5-million-extra-babies-in-18-months/).

There is no easy answer. Low-skilled jobs are replaced by self-serve checkouts, Universal Credit has plunged thousands of people into unnecessary debt, the rising cost of living is not reflected in wages, people are living in unsafe properties because they have nowhere else to go and others perish in fires due to inadequate building regulations - 2yrs on from Grenfell and still no changes have been made (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/dec/03/fires-grenfell-towers-combustible-cladding).

The poor simply don’t matter and currently, there are too many of us for the government’s liking, so it’s doing it’s best to kill us off. It’s a Social Cleansing agenda which serves the richest, most powerful in society. Many of us will live on, clinging to work, hoping for a brighter day; all the while putting more money into the off-shore bank accounts of the elite from which they buy their yachts and private jets, champagne, cocaine and pretty boys and girls to play with (https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/anneke-lucass-harrowing-tale-of-sex-trafficking-am/).

This world is SICK and getting sicker. We’re hoping for change. We’re hoping for a UK Labour government and for Donald Trump to be removed from the White House - that would be a good start. We’re then hoping to cascade the transformation around the world, to lead by example and have the 1% share the wealth they have accumulated through the enslavement of the general population - starting with paying Tax.

If you truly care about your future and that of your children, take action:

- vote Labour on 12th December 2019.

- vote for a decent POTUS candidate.

- boycott big pharma and big corporations - buy local, reuse, recyle and repurpose. Use repair cafes and similar to swap, make good or otherwise utilise products which already exist instead of buying new.

- help your neighbour - buy in bulk, cook and eat together to reduce costs and waste, plant your own food, eat less meat/become vegan. Cook in bulk and freeze meals for another day.

- responsibility manage household energy consumption and look for solar/wind options.

- carefully plan and be responsible for just one or two children, lessening the load on this planet and your bank balance.

- be happy with what you have - go charity-shop shopping instead of buying new; move things around or swap rooms about instead of redecorating every couple of years. If you cannot sell an unwanted item, give it away, don’t bin it.

- stop going mad at Christmas and reduce down what you buy for Easter, Halloween and other occasions. Wrap your gifts in newspaper or recyclable materials.

- use metal or glass water bottles and refill instead of buying plastic all the time.

- understand the law! You never know when you might be fighting a battle with the powers that be - become your own detective and your own legal team. From employment law to the Children Act 2004, familiarise yourself. Legislation touches EVERY part of our lives, from driving to renting a house, and from buying food to taking out a mobile phone contract. You need to know how to protect yourself every step of the way. The authorities (currently) are NOT on your side, so make sure you’ve got your own back!

[inyournightmares97]

‘LOOK’ - The Bridge (2/7)

A/N: This is a drabble series I’m making based on the locations in the ‘Look’ M/V! Credits for the idea go to @daddymarktuan!!

The House Party (1/7)

The Woods (3/7)

The Art Gallery (4/7)

The Old House (5/7)

The Garden (6/7)

The Record Store (7/7)

“I’m so sorry! Have you been waiting really long?” 

Jaebum turned at the sound of your voice and gave you a soft smile. He had been looking at his phone as he leaned against the railing of the bridge, but he coolly put it back in his pocket the moment he saw you. You walked over to him and bit your lip, worried that he was irritated at having to wait. But Jaebum was looking at you with adoring eyes and you flushed under his gaze, 

“Jaebum-oppa-” 

He reached out and wrapped his arms around you tightly. You let out a small oof! as your face collided with his shoulder and you were enveloped in his embrace. You couldn’t help but giggle as Jaebum nuzzled his face into your neck and squeezed you tightly, slowly swaying back and forth as he hugged you. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to melt into his embrace as well. Jaebum seemed cold and distant, but the way he hugged you was anything but. He grabbed you tightly until you had no means of escape and he always hummed lightly against your skin. 

“Hi,” he whispered against your neck. 

You giggled. “Hi.” 

Jaebum let go of you reluctantly. You hitched your bag up onto your shoulders as he gently took a step back and brushed your cheek with his hand. He smiled at you, his eyes shining as he cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure after his sudden display of affection. You giggled as he slipped his hand into yours and tried to look a little more stern. 

“What took you so long? It’s getting dark,” he scolded lightly. 

You pouted, swinging your entwined hands gently. “I had to stay back and talk to one of my professors about a project. He tends to drone on without listening to what you have to say, so it took forever. Sorry. I should have messaged you,” you admitted. Jaebum had graduated a few years earlier, but he always made it a point to come by your university and pick you up after your classes ended. You looked forward to exiting the campus and seeing him waiting by the bridge, a soft smile on his face. 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a pretty hectic time of semester, right?” 

You nodded miserably. 

He pulled his hand out of your grasp and you were disappointed for a moment, until he wrapped the same arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side. It was a little difficult to walk plastered to his side but you enjoyed the contact. It was rare for Jaebum to be in such an affectionate mood and you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity. You smiled up at him. 

“You’re not taking too much stress, are you? College isn’t worth ruining your health for. Eat proper meals and get enough sleep,” he insisted. He looked down at you with a smile. “You need to stay healthy.” 

“Oppa, don’t nag me.” 

He grinned and ruffled your hair affectionately. “Sorry, sorry.” 

You ducked to try and prevent his hand from messing up your hair, but you weren’t able to. To be honest, you had never imagined that Im Jaebum could be this sweet and affectionate. He had been a senior in college when you were a freshman; a music major who only ever played hardcore rock and had a lip piercing. You had been terrified of Jaebum when you first met him. You were shy and inexperienced, a virgin when you locked eyes with him for the first time. 

Your friends had begged you to stay away from him, but you hadn’t been able to resist the attractive man and the sense of danger he brought with him. True, he had taken you to an underground music concert for your first date where a couple of his friends tried to offer you illegal drugs. But Jaebum had always been extremely protective of you. There was never a single moment when you felt unsafe around him, it was in fact the opposite. You felt nervous and exposed when he wasn’t by your side. 

The sweet, affectionate side of Jaebum had revealed itself with time and these days, it was almost all you saw. There was a look in his eyes that made you understand how much he adored you, without his having to say it. You had both been going strong for over a year now and even the friends who had earlier warned you against him admitted that he treated you like a princess. 

“You look tense about something.” 

You lifted your head sharply, realizing that Jaebum was watching you intently. You forced a smile on your face and shook your head. “What? No, I’m fine, oppa. Why would I be tense?” 

“You tell me,” he replied simply. 

“I’m not.” 

“Is it about what I said yesterday?” 

Your felt your heart sink a little. Yesterday was the first day Jaebum had brought up moving your relationship forward. Both of you had been eating lunch at a restaurant near the university when he casually mentioned that you’d never invited him over to your place. He knew that you lived with your parents; your family home was near enough to your university that you didn’t have to live in the dorms, and your parents were too conservative to allow you to live on your own anyway. They were extremely protective of their innocent daughter and they hated the thought of anything happening to you. 

If you invited Jaebum over, he would have to meet them. 

“It’s not... it’s not that,” you tried to reassure him. You were too afraid of hurting Jaebum’s feelings to tell him the truth; that your parents would probably disapprove and pressure you to break up with Jaebum. He was smart and responsible, you knew that about him. But that wasn’t the impression he gave off at first sight. Your father would balk at Jaebum’s piercings and tattoos and hairstyle. “Honestly, it’s nothing to do with that, oppa, I’m not tense about anything at all-” 

He turned and looked at you softly. “They won’t like me, will they?” 

You stared at him for a moment before your voice became small. “No.” 

He nodded silently, and his eyes dropped to the ground. You felt your stomach lurch in guilt. You hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings. You hurried to slide your hand up to his cheek, turning his head to face you. “Oppa, you know I love you, right? You’re amazing. I love being with you, I love the way you make me feel. You’re smart and responsible and more trustworthy than anyone I know.” 

He gave you a soft smile. “But your parents won’t see it, right?” 

“It’s just... it’s just easier not to tell them. They won’t understand. It’s not their fault, they grew up in a different time, they have certain ideas ingrained in them that they can’t change now.” 

“But they’re your parents. Baby, they have to find out at some point.” 

You were silent. You didn’t know what to say to him. There was a part of you that felt protective over Jaebum; your father would be rude to him, would say things that would hurt Jaebum’s feelings and he would have to sit there and tolerate it for you. You wanted to protect him from that but it was getting more difficult by the day. You swallowed lightly and bit your lip. 

“It’s okay, then. Forget I said anything,” Jaebum said, forcing a smile on his face. “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. Conflict with your parents is going to be unpleasant and if it’s not worth it, then... it’s not worth it.” 

You felt horrible. 

“Oppa, I never said it wasn’t worth it, don’t twist my words like that! I’m just worried about how they might react to you, my father has a loose tongue and he might say things that will hurt your feelings. I don’t want you to resent me.” 

Jaebum stopped walking and moved closer to you. You froze when he placed his hands on your cheeks gently and leaned down to look into your eyes. “I would never resent you for something your parents said to me. But give me a chance to impress them. I love you. I want to be a part of your life and while there’s every possibility they might hate me, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t even try.” 

You could see the emotion in his eyes, and you wondered how you had been lucky enough to have a man like Im Jaebum fall in love with you. He smiled at you softly and leaned down to kiss you. His lips were soft, and reassuring. They made you feel safe and you kissed him back, holding on to him tightly. You kept your arms wrapped tightly around him as you pulled away from his kiss. 

“Okay,” you whispered. You pressed your face against his shoulder. “But it’s going to take some effort, oppa. You can’t come to my house looking like that or my parents will have a fit.” 

Jaebum chuckled and pressed his cheek to your hair. “Okay, tell me what to do.” 

“You’ll have to take out your piercings when you come over to my house.” 

“I can do that,” he promised. 

“And no wearing leather. Or boots. I’ll come shopping with you, and we’ll get you a button-down shirt and some nice jeans.” 

“Sounds good.” 

You took a deep breath and looked up at him, a hesitant smile on your face. “And oppa, the mullet...” 

He stared at you. “What about the mullet?” he demanded sharply. 

“It has to go.” 

Jaebum gave you a long, hard look and for a moment you wondered if he would just call this whole thing off and decide that it wasn’t worth making so many changes to himself in order to impress your family. You waited nervously until his grip on you finally relaxed, and he let out a miserable sigh. 

“Okay. We’ll get rid of the mullet.” 

[hiyo-silver]

Untouchable - Chapter 3: Dead Boy Walking

Summary: Bill goes to a party, winding up at Richie's for a little "fun".

Pairings: Bill Denbrough/Richie Tozier

Chap 1 + Chap 2 + AO3 + My Masterlist

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @starboystan @rachi0964 @shewasthewind @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose1122 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt

Bill pulls up to the house, one he's always dreaded even passing by. Bowers'. Henry's dad is out of town, leaving his house empty besides the teen who's been bullying Bill since early adolescence. The engine of his car sputters and wheezes, he doesn't usually drive the old junker but he thinks he better instead of showing up to a popular kid's party on an equally falling apart bike.

He sees Eddie's red blazer before anything else. The bloody shade pierces the crowd in a way that jolts into Bill's mind. An image he'll likely never forget. He puts on a happy smile, adjusting the navy sleeves of his jacket, meeting up with the group he'd recently joined.

"Hi," he greets smoothly, painfully sober for a situation he's automatically uncomfortable in.

"Oh finally, Bill, thought you wouldn't show up," Eddie teases almost flirtingly, tracing his finger down Bill's chest, the smell of booze just radiatingoff the boy.

"I'm here," Bill says with an awkward shrug, seeing someone walk by with a few red plastic cups, snatching one as quickly as he can. He's dabbled with alcohol, never too much though. And only when he was younger, being 17 now and not having drank much in the past two years.

He takes a confident swig from the cup, wincing at the "jungle juice" that Henry had put together, puckering his lips at the unexpected tart aftertaste. "So, wh-what's first?" He asks as he tries to regain his suave composure, one he'd only taught himself since meeting Eddie and the others.

"Partying- just in general," Stan slurs out with a smile Bill has never seen on his face before, the smile that only an uptight person can get when alcohol takes away their troubles if only for a while.

Bill returns Stan a slightly forced awkward grin, raising his cup ceremoniously to him before taking another swig, his goal being to blur everything together, making life look like an impressionism painting, a technique he's been working on in his art.

The swaying of the ground underneath him is more comfortable and usual feeling than he'd expect it to be, especially having been nearly completely sober for the last two years. He still is a lightweight, probably always be despite his continued drinking.

He stays in tune to the music even as the floor tilts and twists under him. At some point he wanders off to the living room instead of the kitchen. He finds the speakers, wanting to feel the waves of music course through his body and boom through his lungs.

His eyes close and he sees red flashing through his thin eyelids. He feels a certain comfort in the chaos, something he hasn't experienced in the longest time, maybe even ever.

He hears a moan from behind him, twirling around slowly, still stumbling under his feet. He trips on himself and catches himself with a quick and shaky step forward. He spots the pull out couch, his eyes blurring over like a camera lense until it focuses.

He sees flashes of sweaty skin mushed up against sweaty skin. The moans slide under the sounds of the music, muffled by something Bill can't see. He feels a tenseness in his pants that is a more newly awakened part of himself, having spent years alone and ignoring it.

He leans back against the wall, chewing his bottom lip, feeling pervy even in his cushioned drunken state, he shuffles his way out of the room, putting a hand on Eddie's shoulder clumsily, his drink still in his hand.

He falls forward slightly, his drink splashing over the edge onto Eddie's white v neck. "Ohhhh g-god, I'm s-s-suh-sorry," he slurs out, patting his hand on the wet part of Eddie's shirt, "Yikes th-that might stain," he mumbles out.

Eddie shrieks in response, sending Bill's heart pounding. "This is new!" He yells, backing away quick enough to send Bill nearly falling to the floor.

"You'll pay for this- God, this is why you don't take peasants under your wing," he shrieks until his voice hits a low grumble in his annoyance, summoning Stanley and Beverly to follow him as he storms off.

Bill is left confused, his state of mind making everything fuzzy, all he knows is that he's in trouble. The realization comes to him and suddenly he feels like he's completely sobered up for the sake of hearing this.

He sees Ben walk into the kitchen where he is, time moving in slow motion as he approaches Henry, very obviously thanking him for inviting him. Bill watches in fear as Ben gets nearly yelled at for showing up, and even more for thinking he'd been invited.

Bill's eyebrows crease in worry when he sees the rejection in Ben's face. Then he remembers- the note. He'd written that. He made that happen. He may as well have rejected him- he basically has.

In that moment he doesn't know how to tolerate himself, he's filled with a cocktail of upset feelings with more ingredients than the jungle juice he'd been sipping at earlier.

He straightens up and finally moves from his spot, getting out of there as fast as he can, even ducking at one point to hope that Ben won't notice him, he can't bear to face him.

He leaves, realizing he can't drive as he is. If his parents ever warned him about something, it was road safety. Because of an unsafe driver he still can't talk right on occasion.

He starts walking, a directive in his mind before he realizes he's not even sure how to get there, especially from Henry's house. He pulls up Snapchat, an app that can serve as a savior for him even though he never uses it.

He finds Richie's snap profile, relief washing over him when he sees that he has his location on. He lets the Snapchat map lead him, landing in front of an apartment building, as he would expect from the story Richie had been telling in the bathroom the other day.

He spots the fire escape, the most plausible option for himself to get up. He prepares himself for a climb, pulling up his pants and heading towards the wrought iron stairs.

He climbs clumsily, holding tightly onto the railings, he climbs up and up and up until he gets to Richie's window. He peers in to see Richie hunched over his laptop, looking at something like anime or who knows what.

He pushes open the window to find it unlocked, climbing in, falling to the floor as he expected he would. Richie spins around immediately, "What the fuck are you doing here? How'd you find my house?" He stage whispers, not wanting to wake his father.

"Th-that doesn't matter now, lover boy," Bill slurs out, approaching Richie and tugging him closer by the front of his shirt, causing them to share a first kiss.

"Fuck man, you're wasted," Richie breathes out when they separate. He looks into Bill's red rimmed eyes, not knowing what he should do, it feels the slightest bit wrong but Bill initiated it, going as far as to find his house.

"Mhmmm," Bill coos, helping Richie stand up despite his own instability, he seems to push Richie to the bed. Richi falls backwards onto the comforter.

He climbs on top of Richie, "You," he says, poking Richie in the center of his chest. "Aren't sl-sleeping tonight," he says, leaning down to suck Richie's neck.

Richie reacts by biting back a moan by chewing his lip. He arches his back up instinctively. Bill draws himself down Richie's neck, pulling down the shirt to get to Richie's collarbone clumsily before pulling away, "Shirt off," he says, fumbling with the edge.

Richie complies, full of adrenaline and excitement, actually being a virgin despite what he would say to others, he yanks the shirt off at near record speed, pulling Bill down into a kiss by the front of Bill's button up.

Their lips meet, sloppy and spitty and inexperienced. Finally, Bill starts pulling off his blazer and starting to unbutton his shirt as quick as he can with his non sober spindly fingers.

He goes down to Richie's chest, skin against skin, the heat filling him with a fuzzy feeling so much better than the feeling of alcohol settling in his stomach, this made him much less nauseous.

He leaves hickeys down Richie's neck down to his peck before fumbling with the fastens on his pants. Richie offers his assistance, looking Bill in the eye as he unzips and unbuttons. "You sure you want to?" He asks Bill, helping the pants off of Bill's hips.

Bill nods happily, pulling at Richie's pajama pants, his hands landing on Richie's bare ass. He didn't prepare for this: condoms, lube, actual knowledge, but he's not giving up now.

"T-turn," he directs, moving from his straddled spot so Richie can turn onto his stomach. Bill settles his hands on Richie's hips, he pushes himself into Richie's ass, hearing the groan from the other.

With the little preparation, this is likely to hurt but neither of them know that, and probably don't care. Bill is drunk and impulsive, and Richie is horny all the time.

Richie moans whenever Bill pushes further, moving his hips closer up towards Bill, feeling the stretching down below to accommodate.

Bill leans as he pushes further in, thrusting only slightly, trying to map out how this is meant to go. He leans forward to Richie's shoulder, nibbling at the skin there in a way that he hopes is erotic.

Richie continues to moan out incomprehensible sounds, obviously trying to say whatever in some awful English accent. Bill wouldn't expect it, but that almost turns him on more. He feels himself tingle all over, nearly trembling as he thrusts in again.

"They're g-gonna kill me y'know?" He whispers to Richie's ear, nibbling at the lobe intermittently as he speaks.

"Oh really?" Richie groans out, "I won't let them," he promises, a plan forming in his twisted mind though he doesn't even know what Bill means by they yet.

Bill thrusts in one more time, and Richie feels a warmth fill him, for a moment he doesn't know what it is, then he realizes and it turns him on even more, feeling his own trembling as Bill squeezes his hips.

Bill squeezes around Richie's ass hard enough to leave fingerprints in the skin, that was the goal. Bill is definitely the possessive type. Richie's neck looking as if he'd been mauled by a wild animal.

Richie feels himself come finally, something that's never been directly caused by another person, he'd always just been with his right hand, and occasionally cheating on her with his left.

Bill pulls out slowly, and the pain sets in on Richie's end, a hissing moan escaping him as he turns back onto his back to look up at Bill, "Wow," is all he can say, a slight wince from the burn down below.

[wonderfuls-worlds]

Mystic Messenger : Saeran/Ray and his Borderline Personality Disorder

STOP SAYING BULLSHIT ABOUT SAERAN !

Major spoiler about Ray in V's route, careful !

Somes themes might trigger you, be careful too !

I will talk about a mental illness, everyone have DIFFERENT symptoms ! IT IS NOT A GLOBAL VIEW on BPD PEOPLE ! Some borderline won't relate to his !

It’s a VERY PERSONAL article, a lot of you won’t like it, don’t feel force to read it !!

I am quite upset about all the comments about Saeran/Unknown/Ray in Mystic Messenger, all these comments saying "he is so unhealthy, a relationship could have never worked with someone like him anyway", "he is so manipulative, he never really loved us, you shouldn't get attached to much to him because he is fake" etc. STOOOPPPPPPP !!!!

It will be a tad long so you might don't want to read it if you don't know Mystic Messenger ^^'

Why I said that the mental illness of Saeran is the BPD ? Because Saeran's VA confirmed in the talk interview than you can unlock after the doing the secrets endings, but also because he has almost all the symptoms of the BPD (please, first of all remember that every person who have BPD don't have the same symptoms. It's very different for everyone) :

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandon

A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, oftenswinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extremedislike or anger (devaluation)

Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self

Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse,reckless driving, and binge eating

 Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting

 Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger

Having stress-related paranoid thoughts

Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself fromoutside the body, or losing touch with reality

(source)

And finally... I have the borderline personality disorder. So I will try to make you understand the behaviour of Saeran by telling some of my personal stories.

Let's talk about Saeran now !

The fear of being abandoned (or also "gosh that guy is so toxic!")

Saeran was abandoned by his twin brother, he was left behind while he was suffering and beaten by his biological mother. Rika "took care of him" by actually brainwashing him and telling him that Saeyoung gave up on him and blablabla.

Because of his experience, he became afraid of being abandoned. More of being alone, it's really to be abandoned by someone he loves.

He is so, so afraid of being abandoned that he will makes all the efforts of the world to make us (MC) love him a bit. He is so scared that even when he knows that Rika manipulates him he said he didn't care to be used as long as it made her stay by his side (he said that in a chat of Day 10 | Another Story).

That's how he is desperate to not being abandoned. Some people are saying "he is just fucked up and unhealthy", but that is not it ! He constantly thinks that if he is abandoned, it is HIS FAULT ! He want to be forgiven and to make you stay, he will double his efforts, thinking that it's the way to say sorry, please don't leave me alone! You don't know how hard it is for us, borderline, to try to put things into perspective and realise that it's life that people have to leave some day... it's so hard and painful...

I'll talk a bit personally but now, even if my heart is craving to love someone because I have so much to give, I don't want to be in a relationship because I am scared of myself. I do not trust myself, I will live with paranoids thoughts. I know that if I get too much attached, I will freak out if the person I love cancel an appointment with me, postpone a promise, don't answer to me. Simple things that almost everyone are afraid of right ? But borderline people... it's much more that just being scared. If someone don't text us back soon, it they postpone a meeting, we will think that they HATE us, we did something wrong, they will ABANDON us, but we don't want to be abandoned ! Quick ! We need to make something that will make them happy, anything ! We are so scared to being abandoned that even an imagined abandonment make us having a irational behaviour, make us cry so hard...

That's why Saeran makes so much effort toward you, it's because he is scared you leave him like everyone, but he is so scared that he did something wrong and you actually HATE him. Some of you are pissed off that he needs to be reassure that you won't abandon him...Well that's a bit inhuman to be pissed off by a mental disorder (whatever disorder it is actually)............

Note : people aren't born being borderline...... Saeran developped it through being abandoned, so do I....

The dichotomous thinking (or also "he is crazy and fake")

Saeran can love instantly, you don't know how much love he has in him, he could love you so deeply, unconditionally and intensily, giving you everything you want, but Saeran can changes abruptly his behaviour : he can hates you in a unconditional way. We have that black and white vision.

Personally, it's very hard for me to control that, it's a fight of everyday, I have to measure my words, my actions, thinking carefully to act normaly. I can deeply love you, idealize you and suddently, if you make a mistake toward me, I can reject you totally and completely, I don't expressively show that side because I work on it (unless if we are really intimate and you're my lover, I will low down my guard and let you see my feelings).

For Saeran, his loving side is directed toward us, but hatred to Saeyoung. Of course the drug of Rika didn't fix things.....

Saeran is not fake, his brains runs very quickly, he assimiled things very very quickly and can pass to a second to love and hatred. Saeran is actually splitted : Ray (love) and Unknown (hatred).

Sensitiveness side (or also "he is a crybaby!")

I have also seen cold comments like "he is acting like a fucking baby" "how can he cry so much about little things", and you know what ? I just want to cry too by reading these comments. We, borderline people, are so fucking sensitive. Common people have something called the emotional skin, they have a barrier who can contains some feelings, that's why some people don't cry directly when they experiment, see, read something sad. People have a shield in them. That shield is thick or thin depending to people, but they do have a shield. Borderline people ? They do NOT HAVE THAT SHIELD AT ALL! Yes, Saeran was crying about a plant... Guess what ? When he TOLD his story I had too tears on my eyes. We can cry so easily. Love so easily. Hate so easily. We can cry to anything so so so easily. That's how we are.

My ex told me I was like a child (he was a jerk) but didn't understand a single thing about me, that I could cry easily and that is how I am ! And we should be respected !

The question of the manipulation (or also "he actually is manipulating us!!!!!!")

No, in any case he manipulated you. He did so much efforts to make you happy, he loved you so much because you were the one who opened to him easily, but he never manipulated you. Yes he lied to you. But his affection wasn't fake. Actually it's Rika who ordered to bring MC in Mint Eye.... You aren't being manipulated. And you know what ? He WAS being manipulated by Rika. Like I said, he kinda knew but didn't care as long as he wasn't alone.

I was so heartbroken to see on the net people who categorized borderline people as manipulators last time. But that is so untrue... (guess what, people who wrote that article didn't have the borderline personality disorder).

In all honestly, I was twice being manipulated and lied (my two previous relationships were with jerks....) but I was so in love and scared to being abandoned that I turned a blind eye and still gave them my entire soul and let them manipulated me !Until I decided to open my eyes again and realise that I will be happier alone than being with jerks...

Suicide (major spoil go away!)

At the end of Day 10 (V's route), Saeran decides to kill himself. He was abandoned by his brother, he felt he was abandoned by Rika too because she was going crazy about V, he was abandoned by you. He had no where else to go, so he decided to end his life. I cried for days after clearing V's route, I cried so much about Saeran, that character who had similiar common points with me.

The sad thing, borderline people (again, the symptoms aren't COMMON FOR EVERYONE!) has that tendancy to think about suicide randomly. It's actually my case, happy or sad, whenever I see these rails where I take my train, I think about suicide (DON'T WORRY ! I WILL NEVER DO IT ! AND DO NOT DO IT, YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE !), but you know it's just very random.

7/10 of borderline people think about suicide, and 1/10 actually does it.

Identity crisis (or also "wait, omfg, who he is ? Saeran? Unknown? Ray??!")

BPD can be linked with multiple personalities, it what happened to Saeran. It's the difference I have with him, Saeran splitted in two personalities, Ray and Unknown but I don't have multiple personalities like him.

For me, when I am very borderline, it’s more the dissociative symptom, I just have blank moments and wonder who I am and why I am doing this or this. I often happened to ask to my friends who knew about my mental illness to ask who are they and why we were friends. Why they love me ? Sometimes I don't understand how people can love me, I think that everything is fake, the love I receive is fake and it happened to Saeran too !

He wasn't sure if your affection for him was real sometimes... Sometimes I don't believe in love and run away from people, because I'm scared to be in that vicious circle again : I love someone, but they waren't actually very interested in me (interested just by the unconditional affection I gave to them) and lie to me before abandoning me.

CONCLUSION : Borderline Personality Disorder is a real mental illness.

A lot of you said it's unhealthy to date someone like Ray/a borderline but actually... it's people who made us mentally ill in a way.

And you know, if you love me, I will love you 100000000 more, it's just that I need to be reassured from time to time that I won't being abandoned, I will cry my soul some nights by thinking that I'm not good enough for you and I deserve to be abandoned. Most of the time, I love a lot of people but I refrain myself to be too close to them because I don't want to be abandoned first. Today I'm single, and I want to love and be loved but I don't want to fall for a jerk again who won't love me for who I really am, so I prefer to be alone rather to live again that feeling of chaos, of being abandoned. And do not make promise to me/borderline peeps, I know that people do a lot of promises they can't keep, because if you do that to a borderline, it will just trigger them more... (alias when MC promised to not abandon Ray....). BUT there is hope ! In the secrets endings, Saeran finds the help he needed. in that article "inspirational themes and lessons in Mysme" I wrote that those who have mental illness should accept the affection of their relatives, and the help they need. I do feel very sensitive, but I will always remember my friends who supported me after being broken by two jerks who manipulated me.

According to the secrets endings, Saeran finds his happiness. ;)

Reblog if you can, let’s bring some light and knowledge about Saeran’s illness and the borderline personality disorder !!

[davestriderbleachedasshole]

About the Trench Shoring Safet Box | A Top Notch Piece of Trench Shoring Device

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Exactly about the Trench Shoring Cage | A Top Step Piece of Trench Shoring Safety Equipment

Excavation services will be taken on thousands of times every single day throughout the US. Trench shoring safety box devices will be often used to safeguarded the work area by ensuring ground stableness. Because connected with the risk of accidents in the work area, this trenching cage should comply with often the laws and regulations governing trenching and excavation activities. Trench Shoring Boxes is some sort of leading player inside the shoring industry. The Kundel corporation offers a range involving secure and resilient trench shields made from lightweight steel and aluminum to make sure worker safety. Often the shoring boxes feature sidewalls regarding varying thickness as well while exchangeable steel or even lightweight aluminum spreaders. The rent to own metallic boxes presented by the company feature reinforced knife-edge, pounding patches, all-steel design and usable and horizontal steel users for maximum durability. This aluminum trench boxes are great for light-weight repair function and booked maintenance services. The wide-ranging Kundel light and portable aluminum shoring equipment boxes are readily available in different stackable selection and sizes. Kundel shields are all certified using OSHA regulations and standards regarding hazardous working circumstances. The merchandise contain TuffGuy plus V-Panel. The TuffGuy field set features durable cells in addition to steel made stop users, which are especially designed to ensure greatest protection in the trench. Often the panels are furthermore independently plus vertically adaptable. The Kundel V-Panel can be mostly used for compromising crossing utilities. The additional product brand sold together with leased by the company is ShoreLite. Choosing the particular Right Trench shields When choosing a trench shoring box, you certainly want something that is inside of great shape and can hold up well to stop accident or injury. Buying or renting the ideal shoring devices can possibly be tasking because there are most equipment of different sizes. We offers a new wide involving systems for rent and purchase. Deciding on what to acquire or rent is usually dependent on factors such as cost, type of work together with crew comfort. This amount of money the contractor is willing to be able to pay so as to buy or maybe rent protecting equipment largely depends on the financial strength of the power corporation as well as the amount of do the job the builder wants to help cover. It is quite important to pick out some sort of program that fits the planned assignment. To do this particular more effectively, you need to be able to look with variables these kinds of as detail of the excavation, soil stability and floor pressure from the adjacent buildings as okay as groundwater. The soils are normally classified since Type Some sort of soils, Type B soils and Types C soils based upon the formula. Since often the weight of the ground cannot be supported simply by human power, it is definitely important to choose a new safe in addition to fully functioning working. Damages together with defects inside protective devices must in no way be ignored because connected with the dangers they create. This is why all of our company supplies aluminium together with steel trench cages the fact that is safe and connected with the greatest quality to be able to meet the requirements of the excavation and shoring sector.

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Everything regarding the Trench Shoring Box | A Top Level Piece of Trench Shoring Equipment

Excavation services are usually taken on thousands of times every day throughout the US. Trench shoring box devices are often used to acquire the effort area by making sure ground stability. Because involving the risk of incidents in the work area, this trenching shoring box need to comply with the rules and regulations ruling trenching and excavation pursuits. Trench Shoring Boxes is a new leading player in the shoring industry. The Kundel company offers a range associated with risk-free and sturdy trench shoring boxes made from light weight steel and light weight aluminum to make sure worker safety. The shoring boxes feature sidewalls involving differing thickness as well while interchangeable steel or maybe lightweight aluminum spreaders. The rent for you to own metal boxes presented by the company function reinforced knife-edge, pounding patches, all-steel design and usable and horizontal steel participants for maximum power. The aluminum trench cages are great for light repair work and appointed maintenance services. The wide-ranging Kundel light-weight aluminum shoring equipment boxes are offered in different stackable range and sizes. Kundel shoring boxes are all agreeable along with OSHA regulations and specifications for hazardous working problems. The items include things like TuffGuy and V-Panel. The TuffGuy pack set features durable sections plus steel made conclusion users, which are especially designed to ensure maximum protection in the trench. The particular panels are as well independently plus vertically adjustable. The Kundel V-Panel is usually mostly used for working around crossing utilities. The additional product or service brand sold together with leased by the organization is ShoreLite. Choosing typically the Right Trench boxes When choosing a trench shoring box, you undoubtedly want a thing that is inside great shape and can maintain up well to stop incident or damage. Shopping for or renting the best shoring devices can always be tasking because there are really most equipment of various sizes. Our company offers a good wide associated with systems for rent and purchase. Your choice on what to get or lease contract is generally dependent on factors like cost, type of assignment in addition to crew comfort. Typically the amount of money some sort of contractor is willing in order to pay so that you can buy or even rent shielding equipment mostly depends on the monetary strength of the tool corporation as well seeing that the amount of job the company wants to cover. It is extremely important to pick out a new instrument that fits typically the meant assignment. To do this particular more effectively, you need for you to look from factors these as degree of typically the excavation, soil stability and even ground pressure from the adjacent structures as in reality as groundwater. The soil are usually classified because Type The soils, Type B soils and Types C soils based upon the composition. Since this weight of the ground cannot be supported by simply human energy, it is usually important to choose a safe plus fully functioning working. Damages and defects in protective tools must in no way be forgotten because associated with the potential issues they present. This is why all of our company supplies metal and steel trench cages that is safe and involving typically the maximum quality in order to meet the requirements of typically the excavation and shoring sector. Trench Shoring Safety Gear Excavation work involves significant digging and pacification; regarding this reason, workers need to likewise wear protective tools to ensure personal safety. Trenches cause a big threat because of the possibility of trench collapsing and holding workers and gear. Using unsafe trench shoring equipment can also hinder do the job progress and lead in order to the loss of quite a few man-hours. To protect staff, each of our company’s boxes are designed with longer systems together with stronger rails to create longer clearance capability. The particular boxes also have braced dispute that are especially built to avoid the risk of collapsing.

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Exactly about the Trench Shoring Box | Important Info Regarding This Piece of Trench Protection Equipment

Excavation services happen to be carried out thousands of periods every day throughout the US. Trench shoring box devices are usually employed to secure the work area simply by guaranteeing ground stableness. With the risk of mishaps in the get the job done place, the trenching shoring box must comply with this laws and regulations regulating trenching and even excavation actions. Visit This URL Shoring Boxes can be a leading person around the shoring industry. The particular Kundel company offers some sort of range of safe plus durable trench boxes designed from steel in addition to light weight aluminum to ensure worker safety. Often the boxes feature sidewalls regarding varying thickness like well as compatible metallic or aluminum spreaders. The particular rent to own metallic boxes offered by the particular company function reinforced knife-edge, pounding safeguards, all-steel layout and usable and horizontal steel people for optimum strength. Often the aluminum trench shoring boxes are superior for light repair work and scheduled maintenance assistance. The wide-ranging Kundel light and portable aluminum shoring equipment safety boxes are available in various stackable collection and sizes.

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For instance, the function requirements for boxes and slide bed rails may possibly range from one period or even type of project to the other. Since new shoring machines are expensive, many contractors desire hiring used equipment. Building contractors who prefer purchasing their unique equipment can effortlessly make use of the tax laws which support deductions associated with insurance, insurance coverage, fees, licenses, refurbishments together with price depreciation. Our Business enterprise Advantage The trench boxes and bracing equipment available by way of our company are generally inspected and even certified by engineers. This company delivers some sort of lease to own arrangement which often is very cost-effective for you to contractors. The agreement allows contractors the opportunity to try the equipment in advance of making full monthly payment. This contractors are also happen to be rent the boxes intended for faster and longer cycles. 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Hiring is often deemed additional viable if the prevailing work involves constant transferring. For instance, the function requirements regarding boxes and slide bed rails could differ from one season or even type of project to the other. Since new shoring machines are expensive, many contractors desire hiring used equipment. Building contractors who prefer purchasing their equipment can very easily leverage the tax laws which permit deductions associated with insurance, insurance coverage, fees, licenses, refurbishments and price depreciation. Our own Company Advantage The boxes together with bracing equipment supplied by simply our company may be inspected and even certified simply by engineers. The corporation provides a new lease to have arrangement which often is very most affordable for you to contractors. The set up offers contractors the opportunity to help try out the equipment in advance of making full payment. This contractors are also allowed to rent the boxes intended for reduced and longer periods. The boxes can furthermore be replaced or went back if they will not measure up to the allocated process. Summary The crews for the trench shoring safety box are trained to job in a safe setting without worrying about hazards similar to cave-ins, falls, decreasing lots and hazardous environment every project is undertaken appropriately. The shoring safety box is secure and quick to install because many people are pre-engineered using premium quality materials that can withstand powerful pressures and even movements. Most our shoring functions adhere to OSHA safety rules to be able to ensure clients get value for their money, zero matter the scale often the job. Besides selling in addition to renting shoring equipment, we all in addition provide technical, maintenance and operational training to help consumers and contractors which buy or lease the devices. Our operations protect a wide geographical location thanks to a huge a new large vendor community. You can easily contact the trench shoring technical team simply by phone or maybe email for consultations together with assistance.

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Everything regarding the Trench Shoring Container | Important Details With regards to This Piece of Trench Safety Equipment

Excavation services will be taken on thousands of times every day all over the particular US. Trench shoring box devices are typically employed to secure the work location by means of guaranteeing ground stability. Due to risk of incidents in the do the job location, the trenching shoring box must comply with the laws and regulations governing trenching together with excavation exercises. Trench Shoring Boxes is definitely a leading gambler in the shoring industry. The Kundel company offers a range of safe and durable trench boxes made from steel and even metal to ensure worker safety. This boxes feature sidewalls of varying thickness because well as interchangeable metal or aluminum spreaders. Typically the rent to own iron boxes offered by typically the company attribute reinforced knife-edge, pounding pads, all-steel design and style and straight and horizontal steel associates for greatest strength. Often the aluminum trench shoring boxes are good for light repair work and scheduled maintenance support. The wide-ranging Kundel lightweight aluminum shoring equipment boxes are available in various stackable array and sizes. Kundel trench safety boxes are just about all compliant with OSHA restrictions and standards to get hazardous working conditions. Often the products include TuffGuy plus V-Panel. The TuffGuy pack set features durable energy and even steel made stop associates, which are specially created to make certain maximum safety at the trench. The panels are also individually and even vertically adjustable. This Kundel V-Panel is generally applied for working all around traversing utilities. The some other product brand sold and rented by the company is definitely ShoreLite. Choosing the Right Trench Shoring Safety Box As soon as choosing a trench shoring box, you definitely want something that is throughout great shape and may hold up well to stop accident or even injury. Buying or renting the perfect shoring gear can be tasking because there are many types of equipment of various sizes. Our company gives you a extensive of methods for rent and get. Typically the decision on what to buy or lease will be usually dependent on variables such as cost, type of assignment and producers comfort. The amount of money a contractor is willing to pay in purchase to buy or rent payments shielding equipment largely is dependent on the financial strength of the utility organization along with the amount of work the contractor really wants to protect. It is very essential to pick a tool that fits the intended work. To do this a great deal more successfully, it is advisable to look at factors such as detail of the excavation, dirt security and ground pressure in the surrounding structures as well as groundwater. The particular soils are generally categorised as Type A soil, Type T soils together with Types C soils in line with the composition. Since the bodyweight with the soil cannot get supported by human being toughness, it is crucial to select a safe and completely operational. Damages and disorders inside protecting equipment have to by no means be overlooked mainly because of the hazards they pose. This is so why our company supplies aluminum and iron trench boxes that are risk-free and regarding the highest quality to meet the needs of typically the excavation and shoring sector.

Excavation function involves significant rooting plus pacification; for this explanation, workers must also don protective items to assure personal protection. Trenches cause a big danger since of the risk involving trench falling apart and holding workers in addition to equipment. Often the use of unsafe trench shoring equipment can furthermore hinder work progress in addition to lead to the damage of several man-hours. To safeguard workers, our own company’s cardboard boxes are created with much longer panels and tougher rails to create longer clearance capacity. The boxes also boast braced partitions that are usually specifically built to avoid the risk of falling apart. Contractors should also include their cardboard boxes inspected on a regular basis by a new professional. The devices must be inspected intended for signs of cracks at welds, deformed plate designs, bent struts and anxiety breaks for the ground all around trenches. In case anyone are using hydraulic shoring products, you need to guarantee the hydraulic intervention that will drive against the trench walls are checked routinely to ensure they will operate as they should. Often the other regions that need close scrutiny include leaks in cylinders and pipes, broken nipples, twisted basics, and cracked sheathing. All of faults must be documented to the examiner. To Buy or Rent Renting is often deemed a lot more viable if the prevailing work involves constant switching. For instance, the job requirements to get boxes and slide side rails might change from one time or maybe type of project to another. Since new shoring machines are expensive, many contractors prefer hiring used equipment. Contractors who prefer purchasing their equipment can very easily leverage the tax laws which enable deductions associated with insurance coverage, protection, fees, licenses, refurbishments in addition to price depreciation. Our own Organization Advantage The trench shoring boxes and bracing equipment available by our company may be inspected and certified by means of engineers. The business offers the lease to possess arrangement which in turn is very least expensive to be able to contractors. Visit This URL presents contractors the opportunity in order to try out the equipment just before making full monthly payment. This contractors are also in order to rent the boxes intended for smaller and longer periods. The boxes can in addition be exchanged or returned if they will not calculate up to the issued activity. Summary The crews for our trench shoring box happen to be trained to work in a safe environment without worrying about threats similar to cave-ins, falls, going down a good deal and risky surroundings any project is done appropriately. The shoring safety box is harmless and uncomplicated to install because many people are pre-engineered using superior quality materials that can withstand extreme pressures plus movements. All our shoring procedures follow OSHA protection guidelines to help ensure customers get worth for their money, not any matter the scale often the job. Besides selling plus renting shoring equipment, many of us likewise provide technical, upkeep and operational training to be able to consumers and contractors who else buy or lease all of our devices. Our operations cover up some sort of wide geographical location thanks to a huge some sort of great vendor multilevel. You can easily contact the trench shoring specialized team by simply phone as well as email for consultations together with assistance.

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Everything regarding the Trench Shoring Package | Important Facts With regards to This Piece of Trench Safety Equipment

Excavation services are done thousands of moments every day throughout the particular US. Trench shoring box devices are typically employed to secure the work spot by simply making sure ground stableness. Because of the risk of crashes in the function area, the trenching shoring box must comply with the laws and regulations governing trenching together with excavation exercises. Trench Shoring Boxes is a leading player around the shoring industry. The particular Kundel company offers a good range of safe together with durable trench boxes built from steel and lightweight aluminum to ensure worker basic safety. The particular boxes feature sidewalls regarding varying thickness like well as interchangeable iron or aluminum spreaders. The rent to own metal boxes offered by the particular company attribute reinforced knife-edge, pounding pads, all-steel layout and top to bottom and horizontal steel people for maximum strength. Typically the aluminum trench shoring boxes are superior for light repair do the job and scheduled maintenance assistance. The wide-ranging Kundel light-weight aluminum shoring equipment boxes are available in diverse stackable range and styles. Kundel trench safety boxes are all compliant with OSHA regulations and standards for hazardous working conditions. The particular products include TuffGuy and V-Panel. The TuffGuy container set features durable energy in addition to steel made finish users, which are specially designed to be sure maximum security at the trench. The solar panels are also separately in addition to vertically adjustable. The Kundel V-Panel is generally employed for working close to traversing utilities. The other item brand sold and rented by the company is usually ShoreLite. Choosing the Perfect Trench Shoring Safety Box Any time choosing a trench shoring box, you undoubtedly wish something that is inside great design and could hold up well to prevent accident or injury. Buying or renting the perfect shoring products can turn out to be tasking since there are many styles of equipment of various sizes. Our company offers a vast of methods for rent and buy. Often the decision on what for you to buy or perhaps lease is usually usually dependent on components such as cost, variety of task and crew comfort. How much money a company is offering in purchase to buy or hire shielding tools largely will depend on the financial strength of the utility company as well as the amount of function the contractor desires to cover up. It is very crucial to pick an instrument that will fits the intended assignment. To do this a lot more efficiently, you should look at factors such as interesting depth of the excavation, dirt stability and ground strain from your adjacent structures because well as groundwater. Often the soils are generally labeled as Type A soils, Type N soils in addition to Types C soils while using composition. Since the pounds in the soil cannot come to be supported by real human toughness, it is essential to pick a safe and totally functioning working. Damages and issues inside defensive equipment ought to by no means be overlooked since of the risks many people pose. This is so why the company supplies aluminum in addition to material trench boxes that will are safe and of the highest quality to help meet the wants of typically the excavation and shoring industry. Excavation function involves significant digging and even pacification; for this factor, individuals must also have on protective equipment to guarantee personal security. Trenches present a big risk due to the fact of the risk connected with trench collapsing and holding workers together with equipment. The particular use of unsafe trench shoring equipment can as well hinder work progress plus lead to the reduction of numerous man-hours. To secure workers, the company’s packing containers are created having much longer panels and more robust track to create longer distance capacity. The boxes also boast braced partitions that happen to be exclusively built to prevent the risk of falling apart. Contractors should also possess their cardboard boxes inspected on a regular basis by a professional. Typically the devices must be inspected with regard to signs of fractures inside of welds, deformed discs, bent struts and pressure cracks for the ground about trenches. In case you are using hydraulic shoring tools, you need for you to guarantee the hydraulic pistons that force against the trench walls will be checked frequently to ensure they will work as they should. The other areas that need close scrutiny incorporate leakages in cylinders plus pipes, broken nipples, twisted facets, and cracked sheathing. All of faults must be noted to the director. For you to Buy or Rent Letting is often considered a great deal more viable if the current work involves constant changing. For instance, the work requirements for boxes together with slide side rails may well fluctuate from one year as well as type of project to the other. Since new shoring equipment is expensive, many contractors like hiring used equipment. Installers who prefer purchasing their unique equipment can simply take advantage of the tax laws which grant deductions associated with insurance coverage, insurance coverage, fees, licenses, refurbishments plus price depreciation. Our Business Advantage The boxes together with bracing equipment supplied simply by our company are inspected and certified by engineers. The company provides some sort of lease to own arrangement which will is very cost-effective for you to contractors. The layout provides contractors the opportunity for you to test the equipment before making full payment. The particular contractors are also happen to be rent the boxes intended for reduced and longer intervals. The boxes can furthermore be exchanged or delivered if they will not evaluate up to the assigned task. Summary The deck hands for the trench shoring safety box can be trained to do the job in a safe setting without worrying about risks similar to cave-ins, falls, falling lots and harmful environment every single project is carried out properly. The shoring trench box is safe and uncomplicated to install because they will are pre-engineered using top quality materials which could withstand intensive pressures and movements. Most our shoring businesses stick to OSHA security recommendations for you to ensure customers get cost for their money, not any matter the scale typically the job.

Besides selling in addition to renting shoring equipment, many of us likewise provide technical, maintenance and operational training for you to clients and contractors who else buy or lease all of our tools. Our operations cover up some sort of wide geographical area thanks to a great a large vendor networking. You can easily get in touch with the trench shoring practical team by way of phone or maybe email for consultations plus assistance.