#vent sort of

[homosexual-newsboy]

gotta love family gatherings

it’s loud, my cousins half of them are annoying assholes

four different people made a comment about the fact that I had a second (sliver sized mind you) piece of cake which is awful because I already have a hard time eating

there was lots of cheese and I like cheese and now I feel like I’m gonna fucking puke

My cousins girlfriend shares a name with me (my dead name)

my other cousins fiancé reminds me of Karen from mean girls

one cousin and his girlfriend came into my room while I was in there hiding and started talking to me and it was mixed feelings

and on top of that the main table topics are how much they hate queer people and how much they hate disabled people which is pretty common given I live in Utah

I hate family gatherings

[system-processing-12]

The system urge to save every photo, every conversation, everything you've created or done so you don't forget your life. So that even if you go dormant, someone will know you existed.

[wheretheyrot]

A shitty little rant/poem about the pain I'm in all the time

I don't really remember not being in pain.

There was a time, I know there was, I remember running, did it hurt then?

To run.

And jump.

And dance.

I remember.

I wish I still could still do those things now.

I wish a lot of things.

I wish I was still skinny, so my pain wasn't written off as a side effect of my body.

I wish I was old, so maybe people would be sympathetic. When older people are in pain, they're treated kindly, given relief.

Yes, I've tried to exercise, it's hard when I can't get out of bed because God hid swords in my shin bones.

Yes, I tried to walk it off.

Yes, I'm sure it's not just my period.

Yes, I've really been in pain for almost 6 years.

I don't think a "sore leg" should effect my shins, hips and feet on both sides.

Yes, I know I'm limping, it hurts.

It hurts.

I feel like I'm uttering those words to a brick wall.

It hurts.

I'm hurting.

Why can't I hurt?

I'm hurting.

Why can't I have grace?

[maxcatz]

// vent ??

me when i was gonna think abt what i’d do for my project in the shower and instead thought abt how much i hate myself

[crazypossumman]

*reblogs something* oh no I’m filling my blog with stuff and making it hard for people to find my art/original posts

*posts art/writing/anything* oh no I’m filling my blog with my art/original posts

*stops posting* oh no I’m—

[fruixtii]

crazy how uncomfortable seeing two fictional characters being drawn as if they’re in love can make you. it is literally a drawing. pixels. they’re not even kissing. why do i feel nauseous

[stygiovictoria]

a warning would have been nice

[transboysgetknives]

they can't break up they can't they cant they can't i can't have them breaking up what will happen to me if they break up

[homosexual-newsboy]

I was watching Newsies last night as one does and my mom and dad were in the living room with me.

I generally would you know like mouth along the words to the entire thing but I was kind of feeling like my parents didn’t need to see that so I only did it over favorite bits (woild is yer erster, poor guys head is spinning, you have a very interesting face, that stuff)

BUT me mouthing the words is how I get the excited energy out without doing other things (which are things I can only do out of my parents sight such as happy lil stompy circles and shaking my hands out) so the whole fucking time I was sitting there wrapped in a ball, so full of energy that it physically hurt

so then ofc I needed to do SOMETHING so every once in a while I’d just energy max out and have to scream or laugh or something, n my parents made fun of me for that so I decided I’d just mouth words along and then they made fun of me again for it so I’m kind of sad (also I almost made it to Brooklyns here without turning it off but then my mom decided that I, with enough energy to fucking fight someone and win, should go to bed)

[hellscape-halogens]

*famous person dies of drug overdose after ~secretly battling addiction~*

everyone: omg rip, another legend gone too soon 🙏🙏🙏 #EndAddiction #Sobriety #AddictsArePeopleToo

*homeless person exists, regardless of if they're actually addicts or sober/never touched drugs in their lives*

everyone: *clutching their pearls, foaming at the mouth* I will literally kill you if you ask me for anything. Here's like 5 cents, don't spend it all on drugs or alcohol fucking junkie whore dumbass bitch asshole. All junkies need to die. I hope you die. Stop freeloading. I hope my taxes don't go to your rehab!!!!!!!!! Also I donate to the D.A.R.E. program and police department!!!!!!!! I will call the police on you if you look at me at all!!!!! RAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP OUT OF SCHOOL AND YOU HATE YOUR PARENTS!!!!!!! DIE IN HELL!!!!!!!

[stressedjester]

Realizing the only blue exorcist users who aren't total creeps have me blocked because someone 6 yrs older than me (tumblr user bishiemi) straight up lied about me being a proshitter when I was 16 (5 years ago fyi) because I liked a character they hated (mephisto) and they never said anything to fix it (they literally had beef with a child over a silly purple demon and caused me great distress and isolation at the time)

[maxcatz]

im so close to falling asleep but at the same time i don’t really want to fall asleep but also i’m not doing anything but also i’ve literally never taken a nap before and i’m sort of afraid to tbh

[xolborsaysstuff]

Okay so I need help,

Things that people have done to me that weren't that bad but still stuck with me and upset me (despite them, again, not being that bad) have started to pile up and are making me feel miserable and make me dislike talking to people at all because this it keeps happening,

sometimes I feel like just going around and just telling people 'hey this thing you said really stuck with me and I'm aware I shouldn't be mad but it did kinda upset me that you did that' to stop them because some people keep doing it because I didn't say anything,

but also I feel that'd be rude and unnecessary when I can just learn to live with what they said and take it. communication is nice, but I can't tell which is the right answer.

[ashendalia]

Hypmic selfshippers stop being afraid of non-fem characters being with these dumb rappers challenge 2k22

[kittydoesthings]

for the love of fuck someone please explain to my mom that rocks don’t have any magical properties and they don’t have “energy” that will affect you in any way unless that energy is radioactivity

[homosexual-newsboy]

what if I never become the person I want to be?

I can see him in my mind all the time, future me. He always looks happy and in the moments of thought he’s always exactly where I dream of being.

why is it that I’m scared I’ll never make it?

what if I just see “her” for the rest of my life, trapped in this miserable life and this miserable town, trapped in this person who isn’t actually me?

Is it actually possible for me to become myself? Because sometimes, I feel like it’s not.