#villain: you know what yes actually i am mad. kill me right now i swear to god

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[black-rose-writings]

Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself

To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.

Long post ahead

Chapter 1

So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.

Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”

I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.

I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.

Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.

And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.

Chapter 2

What?

Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.

Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.

Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.

Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?

Me at Alina: Do you?

Chapter 3

“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.

My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.

Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.

And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.

Chapter 4

Wow, that was quick.

Aaand. What had just happened?

Chapter 5

Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.

And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.

I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.

A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.

Chapter 6

I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?

I don’t know man, I don’t like him.

Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.

Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr

Chapter 7

In other news, pirates are funny.

Holy shit, they have a plane.

That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.

Chapter 8

You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.

Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.

Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.

Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*

Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.

Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.

Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?

Chapter 9

For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.

I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.

Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.

You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.

What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?

And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?

That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.

Chapter 10

The bones thing is definitelly yikes.

Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.

“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.

Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.

Chapter 11

Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.

I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.

At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.

Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?

Chapter 12

We meet the King again, unfortunately.

Alina gets Darkles’s old job.

This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.

Chapter 13

Alina’s nuts, yay.

(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)

Chapter 14

Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.

For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.

Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.

But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.

I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.

Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.

Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.

So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.

Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.

Chapter 15

Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina

Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?

Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.

Chapter 16

Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.

Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.

Chapter 17

Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.

*sighs at heteronormativity again*

*sighs at improper gendering of titles*

Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.

I hate cultists.

LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.

You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.

Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.

Chapter 19

You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.

Horny Alina rights.

They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.

Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?

Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.

Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.

Chapter 20

Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).

Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.

Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?

Chapter 21

Alina has the horny sickness, lol.

Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.

Mal, you fucking idiot.

Alina, stop defending Mal.

Chapter 22

Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.

Finally, some action.

Chapter 23

Oh, boi, this is going great.

Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.

And, we’re done.

Finally.

That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.

[coffintownkids]

Alrighty! Ch. 32 is done and such brings an end to the 朝露 arc. I’m sure y’all remember the cute scene in The Untamed/CQL when WWX comes across a group of kids playing make-believe about the Sunshot Campaign. This is the chapter where that takes place. However, as previously mentioned, we’ve actually never met pretty much any of the characters involved first-hand. So this is again slowly filling the readers in about how the world perceives all these characters.

I couldn’t decide what part I liked best...So you get the entire scene! Very long post beneath the cut.

*EDITED* @weishenmewwx was nice enough to help me fix a couple of errors. Thank You!!!

The group of children stopped chasing it, then gathered together to start seriously wracking their brains over it, “What do we do since no one shot down the Sun? It fell by itself, so who’s the Leader now?”

One of them raised a hand, “It’s obviously me! I’m Jīn Guāngyáo and I killed the greatest villain from the House of Wēn!”

Wèi Wúxiàn sat on the inn’s front steps and watched on with great pleasure.

In games like this, there was boundless high regard for the Chief Cultivator Liǎnfang-Zūn. Of course, everyone would welcome playing that role the most. Although his background made people too embarrassed to speak of it, it was precisely because of it that him climbing to the highest position made people gasp even more in admiration of his achievements. During the Sunshot Campaign, he had acted as a spy for a number of years and had been a natural at it. He had run around in circles deceiving the entire Wēn Sect of Qíshān both inside and out, having them divulge countless secrets without even realizing it. After the Sunshot Campaign, he was fawned over in every possible way with terrific amounts of cleverness and an extreme variety of methods. Finally, he took the position of Chief Cultivator and became the person fully deserving of ranking first among the multitude of cultivation Houses. Such a life can be called legendary. If was playing, he would also want to try out for the part of Jīn Guāngyáo. Picking this little boy to be the Leader was just common sense!

So JGY is super well-liked by everyone, or so we’re led to believe at this point in the story. It’s mentioned in the novel very early on that he is JGS’s bastard, but it’s definitely pretty much glossed over and this certainly makes it sound like nobody cared about his “embarrassing” history. (We will come to learn this is, in fact, bullshit.) BUT, WWX does seem to think quite well of him.

Fun language bit about the “fawned over in every possible way with terrific amounts of cleverness and an extreme variety of methods.” The sentence uses 百般, 千般, 万般 to show the increase of how much praise got heaped upon him as 百=100, 千=1,000, and 万=10,000.

My other takeaway, which I think the show did a pretty bad job at conveying, was the passage of time and that JGY was actually with the Wēn Sect for years.

Moving on.

Another one of them protested, “I’m Niè Míngjué and I’ve won the most battles and have had the most captives surrender to me. I should be the Leader!”

‘Jīn Guāngyáo’ said, “But I’m the Chief Cultivator.”

‘Niè Míngjué’ raised his fist, “So what if you’re Chief Cultivator. You’re also my sān-dì, so you won’t see me running off with my tail between my legs.”

As expected, ‘Jīn Guāngyáo’ was rather well-suited at getting into character. He hunched his shoulders and ran away.

Sān-dì (三弟) just means third brother. AKA JGY was the youngest within 3zun.

Then another kid said, “You’re the one that died young.”

Since he had chosen to be a certain cultivation head, he naturally had been looking forward to being said cultivation head a little bit. ‘Niè Míngjué’ got mad, “Jīn Zixuān, you died earlier than I did. You had an even shorter life!”

‘Jīn Zixuān’ was unconvinced, “So what if I died younger? I was ranked Number Three!”

“Being ranked Number Three just means your looks were ranked Number Three!”

At that point, one of the little boys seemed tired of both running and standing, so he slowly walked over by the steps and sat down by Wèi Wúxiàn. He waved his hand like he was some sort of mediator and said, “Alright already, there’s no need to fight about it. I’m the Yílíng Lǎozǔ, so I’m the most awesome.”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “……”

He glanced down and, sure enough, the little kid was carrying a little branch at his waist that was probably meant to be Chénqíng.

There was actually a child pure enough to not bother arguing about good and evil. He was only debating the value of combat abilities and had willing taken up the honor of being the Yílíng Lǎozǔ.

Another kid said, “No way. I’m the Sāndú Shèngshǒu and I’m the most awesome.”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ rather understandingly said, “Jiāng Chéng! What can you do that’s better than me? When haven’t you lost to me? How is it a good idea for you to say you’re the most awesome? Aren’t you embarrassed?”

‘Jiāng Chéng’ said, “Hmph! How am I better than you? Do you remember how you died?”

Wèi Wúxiàn’s faint smile got wiped right off his face once his meaning sunk in.

It was like being jabbed with a highly poisonous needle without warning and it sent faint prickling pain throughout his entire body.

Oof. That is a lot.

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ next to him clapped, “Look at me! On my left is Chénqíng, on my right is the Tiger Seal. Plus I have the Ghost General. There are none beneath Heaven that are my equal! Hahahaha…” He had a stick in his left hand, a stone in his right, and was laughing hysterically, “Wēn Níng, come out!” A kid in the back of the crowd raised his hand and weakly said, “I’m here…that’s…I want to say…during the Sunshot Campaign, I didn’t die, either...”

Wèi Wúxiàn felt that he couldn’t not interrupt.

He said, “Fellow cultivators, can I ask you a question?”

The children had never had an adult take part when they played this game before, let alone one that didn’t scold them and was completely serious about asking them a question. The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ was giving him a strange and guarded look as he said, “What do you want to ask?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Why don’t you have any people from the Lán Sect of Gūsū?”

“We do!”

“Where are they?”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ pointed at a kid that hadn’t opened his mouth to say a single word from the start, “That’s him.”

Wèi Wúxiàn looked at him and, sure enough, he was completely fine-featured and looked like a charming child. He had a clean, white string wrapped around his forehead to serve as his head ribbon. He asked, “Who is he?”

The ‘Yílíng Lǎozǔ’ disdainfully curled his lip and said, “Lán Wàngjī!”

…Great. This group of children grasped his essence. If you’re playing the part of Lán Wàngjī you really ought to shut up and not talk!

Then suddenly, the corners of Wèi Wúxiàn’s mouth began to curl again.

That little poisoned needle got pulled out and he didn’t know what cranny it got tossed into, but all the stinging pain had instantly been swept away. Wèi Wúxiàn said to himself, “It’s both wonderful and strange. He’s such a stuffy person. Why does he always make me feel so happy?”

*yelling* Why does he make you so happy, WWX? Any guesses?

I’ve seen this translated as “boring” instead of “stuffy” so I’ll explain a bit. The word used is 闷 (mèn) which can be read as boring, so that’s not wrong. But, it’s a little more nuanced than that. It can also mean something “sealed tight” or “suffocate” or “shut indoors.” Like how a hot room without circulation can be called “stuffy.” But in English, we can use stuffy to mean someone that’s kinda old-fashioned and very stuck on being prim and proper. Which certainly is someone people might consider “boring”! I just didn’t think “boring” alone really captured it though.

Of course, this is when LWJ finally emerges from his Fortress of Solitude (after needing time to get through his Gay Panic.)

When Lán Wàngjī came downstairs, he saw Wèi Wúxiàn sitting on the steps and sharing a steamed bun with a group of children. Wèi Wúxiàn was eating his bun while directing two children that were back-to-back in front of him. “……There are currently countless Wēn cultivators before. They’re all armed and they’ve got you completely surrounded. Keep your eyes sharp. Yes, just like that. OK. Lán Wàngjī, pay attention. This isn’t the current you during peacetime. You’re covered in blood! Your killing intent is so heavy! Your expression is so fierce! Wèi Wúxiàn, get a bit closer to him. Aren’t you going to twirl your flute? Let’s see you twirl it one-handed. Have pizzazz. Do you know what pizzazz is? Come let me teach you.” ‘Wèi Wúxiàn’ made an “oh” sound and handed over the thin stick he was carrying. Wèi Wúxiàn rather skillfully and swiftly twirled ‘Chénqíng’ around between two of his fingers, causing the group of kids to whoop with excitement.

Lán Wàngjī, “……”

He quietly walked over and Wèi Wúxiàn saw him coming, so he brushed off the dust from his backside and called out his goodbyes to the kids. It had been so easy to just stand up and walk along the road with a smile. It was oddly like being drugged.

Lán Wàngjī, “……”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “Hahahahahaha, I’m sorry, Hánguāng-Jūn. I ended up sharing the breakfast I bought for you with them. I’ll buy more for us in a moment.”

Lán Wàngjī, “Okay.”

Wèi Wúxiàn, “How about it? Weren’t those two kids just now cute? Who do you suspect the kid with the string around his head was imitating? Hahahaha…”

He was speechless for a moment, then Lán Wàngjī ultimately couldn’t help saying, “……What exactly did I do last night?”

It definitely couldn’t have been anything simple. Otherwise, why did it make Wèi Wúxiàn keep laughing???

Wèi Wúxiàn kept waving his hand, “No, no, no, no, no. You didn’t do anything. I was just being silly, hahahahahaha…Alright, ahem, Hánguāng-Jūn, I swear I’ll talk business.”

Lán Wàngjī said, “Go ahead.”

Apparently WWX missed his calling and should have gotten into theater!

And poor LWJ is still panicking.

So now they’re off to Shǔdōng and we’ll be starting the Yi City arc next.

[buckybarnesthehotshot]

vi: i hate you but tell the team (bucky barnes x reader)

i hate you but masterlist

summary: bucky and y/n can’t stand each other, but y/n needs help with her sister’s kids (enemies to lovers au)

word count: 1692

warnings: swearing, arguing, death, and this is not proofread

taglist is CLOSED

A/N: if ur the anon who requested a part 2 to no way, this is me letting u know it’s in progress dw :))

       “Aren’t you going to go after the other one?” Bucky questioned, staring at the door of the room where Ethan rushed into. y/n gave him a look, as though she too were contemplating if she should talk to Ethan or not, before shaking her head hesitantly and returning to her task at hand; getting Allie to keep her food in her mouth and off her hands.

       “With all due respect, Mister—wait, what’s your name again?” Olivia raised a brow as she tried to recall the same words her baby sister was yelling out again, “Mister Bucky, Ethan’s taking the news pretty hard and he’s stubborn. I don’t think he’d talk to Aunt y/n if she tried to,” Olivia exclaimed, eating a forkful of pancakes.

       “Well, maybe I can talk to him. Man-to-man, you know?” Bucky suggested jokingly. y/n gave him a stern look before shaking her head.

       “I’m not letting you talk to my nephew. Knowing you, you’d eradicate any chances I have of getting him to warm up to me so there is no way in hell you’re talking to him before I get to,” y/n chuckled.

       “You’re my teammate, how could you not trust me?” Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

       “Aren’t you the teammate who cracked an egg on my shoe right when I was about to leave for a mission?” y/n questioned, easily recalling the events of last month’s mission.

       That day, Bucky was I charge of making breakfast and when y/n tried moving past Bucky to grab a protein bar from a cabinet, but he wouldn’t let her pass through. Annoyed, she stomped on his toe so she could reach the cabinet. Bucky didn’t really appreciate having his toe stomped on so in retaliation, he tossed an egg onto y/n’s combat boots.

       “It was hilarious!” Bucky exclaimed in his defense.

       “The rookies were laughing at me!” y/n rolled her eyes before tossing a spoonful of Allie’s baby food at his hair.

       “You were their S.O! If they laughed at you, you probably didn’t lecture them well enough on the consequences of laughing at a superior officer,” Bucky pointed out, recalling the times when he had to train a few SHIELD agents who ended up laughing at his manbun. Can you believe the audacity of those rookies?

       “Oh, and you know how to handle a situation any better?” y/n scoffed.

       “As a matter of fact, yes. I made them run twenty laps around the compound,” Bucky smirked proudly.

       “Oh? What were they laughing at you for? Being older than the exhibits at the Smithsonian?” y/n giggled.

       “No. They made fun of my hair,” Bucky frowned, running a hand through his dark brown locks. It was then, y/n broke out it a fit of heavy laughter.

       “God, I forgot you were worse than Thor when it comes to your hair obsession!” she exclaimed, recalling that time he got mad at her for borrowing his conditioner without his permission.

       “At least my hair doesn’t eat the hands of HYDRA agents,” Bucky shook his head. On a mission, one of the HYDRA agents y/n fought made an attempt to drag her by her hair. It did not end well when he realized his gloved hand was stuck in the endless jungle of knots known as y/n’s hair. Not once has Bucky even seen her run a brush through her hair in the compound!

       “Man, that glove was worse than bubble gum,” y/ frowned. The agent’s hand was stuck in her hair so she had to sit next to him on the ride back long enough for Doctor Cho to come up with the best way to remove his hand from her hair. Even after then, y/n still didn’t brush her hair before or after missions.

       “I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you around,” Bucky waved off, grabbing his keys from the countertop before walking out the door.

       “I don’t think you will!” y/n joked out half-heartedly. God, taking care of four kids was more exhausting than taking down a whole HYDRA base. At least villains didn’t make a mess at her apartment like Allie and Jackson did.

       “Oh, so you’re a house aunt now?” Bucky stopped in his steps, leaning against the doorway.

       “I guess. Tell Sam not to call me onto missions if it’s not an emergency, please? Also, if you could explain this clusterf—” y/n stopped herself before she could swear in front of the kids, “—mess to the rest of the team, that would be great,” y/n smiled before feeding Allie her last spoon of baby food.

       “I can’t promise I won’t tell him you kidnapped the kids, though,” Bucky grinned before shutting the door and running down the hall, probably disrupting the residents. Everybody working and living on the compound knew y/n and Bucky would chase each other around the compound when one said something the other didn’t exactly appreciate.

       Which is why it shocked him when she never chased after him that day. Well, she was a busy woman, he shrugged it off and headed down the elevator.

       He drove his motorcycle to where the van was, adjusted the van seats, and slowly lifted his motorcycle in the van. It probably would have been more convenient for him if he’d just asked y/n to drive the van back to the compound rather than him having to haul his motorcycle into the van.

       When he was sure his motorcycle was safely placed in the van, Bucky got in the driver’s seat and drove to the compound; ready to tell Sam about his discovery.

       He parked the van, pulled his motorcycle out, parked that too, and headed into the main lounging area of the compound where he found Sam, Wanda, Clint, Rhodey, and Peter gathered around the TV. The moment the elevator dinged, letting his presence be known, all heads turned to him as though to ask where he’d been…or why he had baby food in his hair.

       “y/n has kids,” Bucky explained quickly, plopping down on the couch between Peter and Sam.

       “y/n? Kids? That’s funny, tell another one,” Wanda chuckled, popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth as her gaze was still fixated on the screen. At this point, she was used to having Bucky and y/n make up rumors about each other and she could not trust a word one would say about the other.

       “Wait, let me rephrase that. Sam, y/n told you she was taking a break because of a family emergency, right?” Bucky questioned, looking expectantly at Sam.

       “Well, yes, but I don’t see how that means y/n has ki—” Sam shook his head only to get interrupted by Bucky shushing him.

       “That family emergency was her sister died a few days ago and y/n got custody of four kids! Look, I know this isn’t easy to believe and shit, but y/n’s the legal guardian of two teenagers and two kids!” Bucky exclaimed, as if he himself could not believe what he’d just witnessed half an hour prior to that.

       “I’m pretty sure y/n didn’t take a break just so you could make up a rumor about her,” Wanda chuckled, shaking her head.

       “That’s the thing! They had a fight over breakfast and y/n was trying to make the little boy stop crying and then the baby started crying so I went over there to pick her up and god, I thought I killed the kid, but I didn’t. Then, she looked up at me with those big e/c eyes while screaming my name. God, that kid was adorable,” Bucky rambled on as though falling into a trance as he remembered the feeling of having someone so innocent look up at him with an emotion that wasn’t fear for once.

       “Assuming this actually happened, how the fuck did you find y/n? Didn’t she block any location tracking on her when we found her at that cooking class?” Clint questioned, raising a brow in disbelief.

       “I made FRIDAY look for my van and it was at y/n’s apartment place. She only let me in because she thought I was the gelato guy,” Bucky chuckled, shaking his head, “God, she looked so tired.”

       “Is there anything else y/n wanted to let us know? She promised we were going to watch all the Star Wars movies next week,” Peter frowned, hitching his feet up onto the table.

       “I’m pretty sure y/n has better things to worry about than a Star Wars marathon,” Sam shook his head in dismissal.

       “She did mention the fact that she’s still willing to go on missions as long as they’re important ones. Like some really ‘life-threatening where a lot of people could die’ type of shit,” Bucky explained with a shrug.

        “I still had no idea y/n had an apartment. I thought she lived on-base when I first met her,” Clint chuckled, shaking his head.

       “Am I the only other one here who’s been to her place?” Wanda’s brows furrowed in confusion.

       “Wait, you’ve been to her place? She told me she had some underground bunker she lives in because she was preparing for the zombie apocalypse and I kind of assumed that was a joke and she just lived here,” Peter shot up from his seat, staring at Wanda in disbelief.

       “Oh yeah, that too. I’ve been to both places. I even have a room in the bunker,” Wanda winked as Peter’s jaw dropped. He thought y/n was joking when she mentioned the underground bunker. I mean seriously, would you take someone seriously if they told you they had an underground bunker beneath central park?

       “Well, I guess if the compound gets compromised during an apocalypse, we know who to follow,” Clint broke out in a fit of laughter. After that, Bucky kind of just blanked out, not really knowing what else to say. It wasn’t as if he knew much about y/n besides the basics and what he’d discovered earlier.

       He leaned back into his chair before stealing Peter’s bucket of popcorn and watching whatever the Avengers decided they wanted to watch that afternoon, ignoring all the teenager’s complaints.

i hate you but taglist: @sarcastic-britt / @kmuir1 / @shower-me-with-roses / @justab-eautifulmess / @thomasthetankson / @x-abi-sharp-x / @intovert-gone-wild / @brittanymcsharry / @leaving-the-past-behind / @xoxabs88xox / @mylifeiscrazy0423 / @howliebucky / @i-cry-so-much​ / @witchything​ /   @naimalove143​ / @simplybarnes​ / @kseniiafirebrace​ / @buckybarnesishot310​ / @witchymarvelspacecase​ /

Forever tags: @spatium-viatorem​​​​ / @sxphiiwrld​​​​ / @strangersstranger​​​​ / @nerdy-bookworm-1998​​​ / @cutie1365​​​ / @valeriiaaass​​ / @adorkably​​ / @whatinthyworld​​ /

MARVEL TAGLIST: @captainamerica-is-bae​​​

BUCKY TAGLIST: @missmidnightxo​​​ / @tinymalscoffee​​ / @howliebucky​​ /

[allkinds-oftrash]

Ya girl is watching the latest HSM series ep and Imma live blog it hshshs and will add my reactions under the cut so it doesn't end up a long post. Anyways, let's goo:

AHHHH THE MORNING SHOW WITH GINA AND EJ WE LOVE TO SEE IT

They really said we're gonna let life imitate art with Nini and Olivia huh

Ricky was SUPPORTIVE??? Damnn I really thought we gonna get a classic Ricky tantrum....

But also wow sir that sounds salty and should definitely talk to someone abt how you're feeling...A therapist maybe 👀

I know we needed to contextualise how Ricky felt abt the song but I really wanted to see Nini's interview in full!!

Sebby you're so cute I do wanna see yall do DEH

Shjshshs not the rights not being available for another 5 years 😭😭

I dunno how they're in great shape and closer to the Menkies Gold after not having a single proper rehearsal, but go off Miss Jenn

Omg honestly Kourt's costumes are always amazing and on point Imma excited to see it

Kourt is such a simp we love to see it

Carlos is so pissy this episode we love to see it shshhs

Also love the way Seb calms him down and keeps him nice it's such a funny dynamic

"We had 20 people make our Belle dress over 50 hours" Okay North High shut the fuck up

I'm calling it now the reason North High knows so much is cos Howie is the leak and Kourt has been unwittingly telling him. The way her phone keeps going off as they discuss how North High knows everything is really good foreshadowing if my prediction is right

Also like her phone went off just as Carlos said "How did they know that?" THAT'S PEAK FORESHADOWING

If Howie ain't in North High, I dunno what Tim is doing

GSJAGSHAH KOURTNEY MAKING ABS FOR EJ I CANNOT

"I have abs" We know sweetie

"I PADDED THE THUSH FOR YOU" "AWW THANKS KOURT I NEEDED THAT" THIS INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING THAT WAS SO FUNNY!! I love that it is now canon that EJ has abs but no butt love that for him

Okay but like damn these costumes are great!! North High can fuck right off with its high end ones I just wanna see lowkey homemade costumes by students; I'd watch a Broadway show if I wanted to see professional costumes okay

Damn Carlos has killer eyesight clocking in that mask in the trunk

GINA BBY DON'T SAY THAT AND HAHSGSH NINI NUDGING HER WAS SO FUNNY

Nini's little look over at Gina was like "Omg you guys my girlfriend is so cute and dumb" GINI STANS HOW WE FEELING?

Miss Jenn don't be that naive, your boyfriend probably put them up to it

That Insta page is prophetic with their timing tbh; all the info is a leak obviously looking at your Howie but like the timing of it all. Those kiddos don't know that they are discussing the stolen mask at this exact moment (Kourt has put down her phone after Carlos snapped at her so Howie doesn't know they are talking abt it rn)

"We don't dance with the enemy" *cuts to her dancing with Zackey later*

SEBBY WEARING THE TEACUP COSTUME OMG HE'S GOING MAKE SUCH A CUTE CHIP (yes I am still mad Seb/Joe was robbed but Imma fangirl over the costume anyway)

Wtf why does North High look so expensive - they are literally in the same district as East High right??? How did they get this much funding

North High is a very artsy and rich for a public school; they should have had Nini go here instead of YAC tbh (like this campus feels like what YAC should have been) NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING STORYLINE

Seblos' dynamic IS ON POINT THIS EP I really love my bois so much and their back and forth is hilarious

Shhshs DIANE who loves volleyball and North High okay I totally believe it

WHY ARE RED AND ASHLYN SO KINKY EVERY DAMN EPISODE TIM THESE ARE UNDERAGED CHARACTERS STOP IT

Shshsh we love Gina knowing herself and practicing self control by volunteering to be the lookout

Omg yall listen to Carlos and stfu they are so lucky no one saw or heard them yelling Wildcats

Oh no no no no no Miss Jenn you gonna get sucked in; this is gonna be so messy

Omg I saw someone post about this scene before I watched the ep YALL ARE RIGHT THAT BOI HITTING ON GINA IS SO FINE Babes go for that one, not EJ

NOT THEM FAKE DATING UGH E W TIM STOP MAKING ROMANTIC PORTWELL A T H I N G I honestly do not understand how some of yall can ship it romantically knowing Sofia is a whole underaged babey and Matty is a whole ass grown man - like I get the appeal of the Wonderstudies getting together and they do have chemistry but the irl age gap is creepy and outweighs the appeal of shipping them romantically

As I always say; Portwell/Wonderstudies should be a BROTP not an OTP

Ugh Brotp Portwell would have clocked Lily right away; romantic Portwell making googly eyes at each other isn't helping anyone

Living for Nini getting the recognition she deserves - I really like her solo arc this season she's so much more interesting without Ricky tbh

Aww Kourt you simp I love her and I'm so happy she's happy I wanna be wrong about Howie being a North High kid

Where is the mask??

OHMYGOD THESE KIDS COMING IN LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Lily really wishes she was Jesse St. James huh; you could never Lily so stop

Andrew Barth Feldman and his cute little French accent I love him so much

Hnng Miss Jenn gonna get manipulated by this hoe. Omg wowow Zackey really is a hoe, making out with another girl before the show THE AUDACITY OF HIM SAYING MISS JENN WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH I WILL THROW HANDS WITH THIS MOFO

Wait the kids didn't steal it BUT WHAT IF ZACKEY DID

Ssjsgfajhdfg I CANNOT WITH ANDREW'S ACCENT but I can't tell if its really bad or really good but I'm also confused why didn't they just cast a French person as Antonie shshhs Antoine is adorableee and a little shit the best type of character

Lily is so annoying b y e sis bye and Olivia Keegan is talented I just wish they didn't make her character such a cartoony villain type

"How about if we bop to the top" SEBBY I LOVE YOU AND NEVER STOP BEING SO CUTE I SWEAR and Awww Carlos called him Honey I am s o f t

Hnng why do these fools are really gonna give into North High calling them chickens

OHHH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ASHLYN FUCK A DANCE OFF I AM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH A 16 YEAR OLD

"She told us not to dance with the enemy. She's better than this" No Sebby, she's not *cuts to her dancing with Zackey* AND OMG THE WAY I SAW THIS EDIT COMING BEFORE IT CAME

Ooooh I like this song wayyy more whatever the mess The Mob Song became (when I first heard it drop on Spotify yesterday) Around You is such a great song musically and lyrically very relevant to these two and gosh I love their voices together

They have so much chemistry damn, go home Mike (well he technically has oop) and Mr. Mazzara

YES YOU DO MISS JENN YOU ALWAYS HAD IT

Oh god this is the scene from the trailer; she's gonna make a move on Ricky isn't she?? Leave him alone Lily he doesn't need a 3rd girl to be confused about he needs a therapist

Lily shut the fuck up with quasi; STOP TRYING TO MAKE QUASI HAPPEN

"I love Nini's song" Sure, Jan.

...Okay yes you should have called him out but don't bait him LIKE THAT oop there's the scene from the trailer

Ohmygod is Andrew Barth Feldman gonna hit on Ashlyn

Okay this is so cute but also I am VERY annoyed with the way this show handles its characters like they aren't relevant or important unless they get into a relationship or a love triangle?? That's such a shitty way to give out screentime and arcs to characters. Is it not enough to develop the characters on their own and strengthen their friendship???

HUH TIM why you so obsessed with compulsory heterosexuality??(well also homosexuality for Seblos but they are the only ones I'm not annoyed with their relationship cos its a hella big step for Disney to have a gay couple and their relationship isn't in our faces or overshadows the plot and its just spinkles of cuteness every time they interact - they are honestly who Rini wishes they were; besties in love. They are a couple that Tim should be taking notes from; leave the relationship drama in the background, focus on the theatre and friendship aspect of everything)

My mini rant aside; this is a very adorable interaction between Ashlyn and Antoine.

"TOM HOLLAND ON STILTS" GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT COMPARISON I AM SCREAMING ANTOINE THAT'S SO FUNNY

This is so funny he keeps picking out the hottest guys of the group; as if he himself isn't the French version of Big Red they look super alike ngl shshsh

WHY YOU RUIN IT WITH THAT ANTOINE I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

Drama between Antoine and Red is already spicing up shshsh I cannot

Why are you so dramatic with the shuffle Lily gtfo of here...also this doesn't make sense?? She wasn't even on a BATB playlist; what if a non BATB song came on ahahah

Good to know they aren't big fans of The Mob Song like I am Awww EJ you cutie, okay I will appreciate the OG Mob Song just for you

OH WAIT HE PROLLY LIKES IT COS ITS A GASTON LED SONG TIM GIMME THE EJ SOLO I DESERVE IN THIS NUMBER

I'm being robbed of Gaston for the last 7 eps I at least deserve an EJ solo for compensation

The way the set looks straight out of Broadway but also like omg the blue lighting and fancy stage gave me intense flashbacks to that Glee episode where Vocal Adrenaline sang Bohemian Rhapsody

RICKY STOP BEING SALTY AND ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

OMG THE SUBTITLES SAID ITS HOWIE SINGING AS THE BEAST I FUCKING CALLED IT

Howie you hoe you gonna break my girl Kourtney's heart

Yeah...still not a fan of Antoine's Dance Remix

Yall know Gina would kill the dance number if she wasn't wearing that fit

Okay but it's Gaston led song WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT EJ HAVE A SOLO IN THIS SONG??

First the Beasts led it (Howie sounded better than Ricky ngl), then the Lumieres (their voices worked hella well together; I always forget what a talented singer Frankie is THEY NEED TO GIVE HIM A SOLO SONG) and now the Belles are going at it (Ashlyn's voice is superior)

BIG RED BEING JEALOUS AND SALTY IS SO FUNNY ITS LIKE A PUPPY BEING ANGRY I CRI

...Did anyone really win, Lily??? STFU

CARLOS IS RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

Oooh I did see someone talk about this when the Rose Song dropped last week, apparently its illegal to add songs to a musical you're doing for a school play; I really thought the show would brush past that irl rule but I guess they are playing into it

THE WAY EVERYONE TURNED TO EJ FOR THE SPORTS METAPHOR I AM D Y I N G AND HIS FACE WAS GOLDEN! ITS LIKE THAT LISA SIMPSON MEME SHHSHSH

Okay Nini is being a little pissy about leaving her song out of the show and its a little selfish to wanna keep it at the risk of being disqualified but I also understand why she's hurt

Everyone is dog piling on her right now being against her idea and it feels like they are being against her song and her herself instead of them not wanting to be disqualified. Also like she poured her heart and soul into the song after Miss Jenn lowkey rushed her to write it. So I can see why this feels like a rejection of her and her song and why she's so hurt rather than her seeing the big picture right now

It doesn't help that Ricky said the final blow causing her to walk off

Okay maybe Zackey gets some rights for being chill and wanting the kids to be peers

THIS MOTHERFUCKER I KNEW HE WAS SHADY Also the way I gasped even though I predicted he stole the mask halfway through this ep shshsh

Stab him Miss Jenn STAB HIM

Bitch why you so threatened by East High if yall have such a Broadway-esque show planned??? They honestly should have stuck to the Little Mermaid; I really wanted to see the aquarium

"It's just a song Ricky" "A song can mean everything" Do you get deja vu? Anyone else getting intense flashbacks to Jan when DL first dropped and all the drama happened 👀

YES PLEASE STAY CO ANCHORS Gosh I love them so much esp once you take the romantic connotations out of their interactions

ROUGE GRAND I'M SCREAMING

I love this long take of checking in with everyone's relationship status (still hate how romantically focused this show has become but still a cool shot)

I K N E W IT I WAS RIGHT

Okay but like looking at Kourtney's face I have never wanted to be wrong so bad GOD I HATE IT HERE I really think he likes her and I hope they work it out

Nini setting up her own music acc feels like when Olivia rebranded her whole IG to be just for her music stuff - love this for both of them

AHHHHH SHE'S NINA NOW YALL

I know everyone loves her as Nini but like I have always loved the name Nina and it really suits her to be honest also shows how she's growing up now and kind of leans into the lyric "I won't be confined to your point of view" from The Rose Song because Nini is the nickname Ricky gave her so it shows that she's outgrowing him too and I love that for her!

Overall thoughts; they really crammed all the North High drama into one ep huh. Personally would have liked it if all of this was spread out throughout the last few episodes; like different hijinks for every episode. I'm just a big fan of properly setting up the overall arc over the season instead of patching it together closer to the climax/end of the show. Cos now it lowkey feels like two different seasons - 2A felt like The Rini/Rina Show esp with YAC storyline and whatever was going on with Rina and now 2B is finally feeling like what this season should have been all this time

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

I think people who complain on your Tom Riddle/Lily Evans might not understand just what kind of Tom Riddle you wrote. He is very human or, otherwise, inhuman in a very human way. I've read a lot of fics with Tom Riddle, including a lot of shipping fics, and lots of time the relationships are somewhat unhealthy - and dramatized, and somehow special and fated. But (in October) Lily and Tom aren't star crossed lovers. It just happened, like things do in life. Or am I completely wrong about this.

I mean, to be perfectly fair, I am the odd one here.

JKR intended Voldemort to be a Palpatine style villain. Someone who is pure, unadulturated, evil inside and out. There’s to be no humanity in him, nothing good, and he was that way from his very sordid birth.

I think most people try to stay in line with that or at least some version of that. I see a lot of Tom Riddle being a sociopath or else a psychopath, or else he’s just mad. He’s often noted by authors of being incapable of real love, and he ends up in these toxic, abusive, BDSM relationships with the character of your choice. The fic may end with the relationship trying to convince us it’s love, that Tom Riddle has redeemed himself in some way, but the toxicity is part of it.

And a lot of people really like this character archetype. They like the sexy, dangerous, horrifying male romantic lead who whisper’s in his innocent lover’s ear, “Darling, I will never let you go. I have seen your heart and it is mine!” 

I throw all that out the window and I think it leaves a lot of people out of sorts.

I get a couple of common complaints. Not from everyone, but now and then, one that does come up is I write a very human Tom Riddle. He’s generally very messed up, has a very shitty life, but he’s more than capable of strong romantic love. To me, his great failing is falling into nihilist despair and giving up completely on the world and mankind. 

But yes, Tomarry especially, people like the starcrossed, fated, lovers aspect. They like Tom not understanding what love is and being this dark, obsessive, lead. They like the unhealthy toxic relationships and...

Well, I don’t, at all. I don’t think I could write a standard Tomarry story if I tried. Well, I did try, it was called “October” and look how that turned out. (Seriously, in the planning stages I went “I should try my hand at a slash fic” and this is what we get.)

But anyways, so right off the bat I’m breaking a lot of assumptions of Harry Potter fandom regarding Tom Riddle and romantic relationships with him. That sends a lot of people scurrying out the door.

The other is that the pairing itself is apparently so mind bending it actually makes people feel sick. First, it’s one of those things where it feels like two completely random characters I shoved together. I get that, completely, I look insane. More than that though, there’s just something about this pairing that reads a lot like me swearing in church.

There’s just some things you don’t do.

I don’t know what the others are but I can tell you that one of them is Tom/Lily.

Granted, I think a lot of it was because I introduced it in a primarily Tom/Harry fic in which Harry has now dumped Tom’s ass for twenty chapters and several decades, which made people very very very upset but that’s not all of it.

I often make decisions that greatly upset my readers (I really don’t know why you all stick around so long). I kill off beloved characters, I have bad guys win, I have my protagonists make mind numbingly stupid decisions, I have plot twists no one agrees with, I have the main pairing fall apart into a mess and hook up the lead character with somebody else. For nearly every fic I’ve written there is at least one chapter where I’m told what a moron I am, that my story is stupid, and that obviously x, y, and z should have happened and I as an author am just lazy/angst wanking/insert your derogatory term of the day here.

To this day I have never received the same kind of vitriol and hatred that I did over Tom/Lily. Really nasty terms were bandied about, I received some impressive insults towards me about how Ao3 was a better place specifically because me and my dirty ilk weren’t there (the joke being I infested Ao3 eventually like a plague), and I was certain I had lost every single reader (and somewhat surprised to find I somehow hadn’t).

Tom/Lily, on some fundamental level, just seems to disturb people. I think part of it is they picture a Tom Riddle very different to mine. Part of it though is that seeing Tom/Lily is like seeing the antichrist, you just know that thing is pure evil and must die when you lay eyes upon it.

Which is, of course, why I am a heretic.

[wonderwomanfantasy]

kidnapping fire.

We been knew that I am a hoe for soft villains. 

Villain!Todoroki x Pregnant!Reader

word count: 1,300 (about)

warnings: swearing, pregnancy, kidnapping, murder, blood, 

Summary: Todorok is a dangerous killer but you were his wife, you saw a softer side of him that no one else knew, but there are times where you saw his evil side too. 

“Baby?” Todoroki whispered opening the bedroom door. you were snoring softly on the bed, curled tightly around his pillow. his heart ached a little bit, you were too cute like this, he felt guilty for not being around so much, leaving you home alone all day but there wasn’t much he could do. 

Todoroki was a notorious villain, although these days he was doing less actual crime and more maintaining his power to protect you.  he crawled beside you and looked at your sleeping form. 

“Sho-to?” you croaked cracking one of your eyes open. 

“Yeah, it’s me, go back to sleep sweetie,” he purred reaching over to smooth down your hair. 

“Are you hurt?” you asked scootching closer to him 

“no I’m good,” he assured, you guided his hand to your swollen stomach. making him smile. “how has the little one been?” he asked rubbing circles onto your tummy

“restless kept kicking me all day,” you groaned,

 “I think they missed their daddy,” you teased he smiled and pecked your lips

“I missed my babies too,” he sighed. 

“must have been a long day,” you sympathized. he nodded when you were a criminal every day was a long one. he tried to pull you closer but you resisted.

“Have you eaten Shoto?” you asked him wearily. a quick flash of guilt crossed his face, an odd emotion for a criminal. 

“well, I ate a big lunch-” he tired but you had heard enough and started getting out of bed

“you need to eat Shoto,” you scolded heading to the kitchen. he leaped out of bed and pounced on you.

“I’ll fix myself something to eat you rest,” he demanded. you sat at the foot of the bed, angrily. you were nine months pregnant, set to burst at any minute, the doctor had told you to rest as much as possible and Shoto had interrupted that to mean you weren’t allowed to lift a finger even for the simplest of tasks.  

“I want to see you eat Shoto,” you pouted and he relented. 

Shoto leaned casually in the doorway eating leftover soup while you stared him down. Todoroki had a bad habit of not eating unless you forced him too. 

“you know normal couples don’t do this,” Shoto said swallowing another bite. you couldn’t help but laugh, so little about your relationship could be classified as normal. Shoto finished eating and only then did you let him pull you into his arms. 

“rest, love,” Shoto yawned pulling you close to him and tucking your head under his chin.

“goodnight shoto,”

Morning light filtered in through the curtains, hitting you directly in the eyes. you sighed, already too awake to even think about going back to sleep, you untangled from Shoto and waddled to the bathroom. by the time you were out of the restroom, Todoroki was up and in the kitchen making breakfast. 

“Morning Shoto,” you greeted with a yawn. he frowned at you, 

“The doctor said that bed rest was the best idea for the next few weeks.” he chided. you batted your eyelashes at him

“I just wanted to see my husband is that so wrong?” you asked. Shoto caved instantly. he hugged you tight. you wondered what heroes would think if they saw Todoroki, wanted killer and super villain cuddling you and fretting over your health.  you married a villain, but not a bad man.

“do you have to go to work today?” you muttered against his chest. he sighed. 

“yes, unfortunately,” he sighed “but I’ll be home early. We can get lunch together,” he offered you smiled. 

“That sounds nice.”

you were curled up on the couch trying your best to understand knitting. since you weren’t allowed to work due to your pregnancy you had been picking up and dropping hobbies left and right, today you were trying knitting, which was going about as well as you had expected. you set down the needles and stretched your aching fingers. 

the door exploded open. you yelped and jumped to your feet, your hands thrown protectively over your belly. that wasn’t Shoto. 

Todoroki examined his destroyed apartment. he had been alerted the instant there was a break-in and he ran to that same instant, but he was too late. you were kidnapped. there didn’t seem to be any blood, but there were signs of a struggle. He was already fantasizing about the ways he was going to make these men pay once he found them. 

His phone rang and he answered in a flash. it was a ransom call. He didn’t speak, just listened to their demands. they were asking for a couple million yen to ensure your safe return. which meant you were safe. he shut off the phone and went to the meeting location not even bothering to gather any money. He was going to get you back, you and his unborn child. 

you woke up tied to a chair, a gag stuffed in your mouth. “smile for the camera sweetie,” someone laughed seeing that you were awake, you blinked, your eyes adjusting to the darkroom. there was a camera positioned in front of you, one of the men reached down and squeezed your cheeks and forced you to look in the lens. 

“It’s been two hours Shoto, someone is running late.” the blade of a knife pressed to your cheek. 

“you must not care what happens to your little wife or your child,” the other man whispered. the camera shut off and suddenly the knife was thrown away from your face. 

“oh my god, what the fuck are we doing?” one of the men screamed clutching his head. 

“Matsu calm the fuck down man-”  Matsu, did not calm down

“we fucking kidnapped a supervillains wife, He is going to kill us we are so dead,” he looked about ready to keel over from the stress of it all “Like Jesus, Rokuro what were we thinking??” the other man, Rokuro smacked his partner in the head

“well, It’s too late for this now dumbass,” you relaxed into the chair slowly. they were clearly amateurs. you weren’t sure whether you should be relieved they weren’t going to hurt you or if you should be mad that you had been kidnapped by people who clearly didn’t know what they were doing. 

“come on we have to send that video, at least Todoroki will think we mean business,” Rokuro grumbled. suddenly the temperature of the room dropped considerably.  frost coated the floor, your breath started coming out in white clouds. 

“oh fuck,” there was a loud screeching sound, like metal being torn. the frost turned to ice. Ice that crept up the legs of your two captures. before the could even scream the were completely frozen. you tried to yell out wriggling in your confines, to let Shoto know where you were, He seemed to hear you and appeared rapidly at your side. 

“Sweetheart-” he crooned kneeling beside the chair and undoing your bounds. you could see there was blood on him, it probably wasn’t his own. once your hands were free you ripped out the gag. he kissed you and clung to your shoulders protectively. 

“Sweetheart are you hurt ? is the baby-” you cut him off

“we’re fine Shoto,” you soothed bringing him close to your chest, you didn’ know if either of you were hurt, but it would only be worse if he panicked. Todoroki rarely let his emotions bubble to the surface, if he lost his composure now who knew what would happen. 

He lifted you into his arms effortlessly, even though you couldn’t have been light. 

“Let's get you home and make sure you are alright,” Shoto sighed leaving the warehouse. briefly, you spared a thought for the two men who had kidnapped you. left there, trapped in ice to freeze to death or suffocate, whichever came first. 

[noshitshakespeare]

Why everyone thinks than Hamlet not killing Claudius in Act 3 is him being soft/nice? Hamlet only refused to kill Claudius because he was afraid the latter would then go to heaven. I understand that it is hard to understand for modern people(because we mainly do not super seriously believe in heaven and hell like medieval people did ), but... Hamlet sparing Claudius in that scene was actually Hamlet being cruel. I believe that Hamlet's tragedy was in him being too cruel.

That’s an interesting point to discuss. I’ve not come across too many people saying Hamlet was nice in letting Claudius live in Act 3, but I suppose anyone who says that Hamlet is indecisive or not strong enough to kill Claudius at this point is implying that he’s soft in some way. 

You’re completely right. Hamlet’s choice not to kill Claudius at that point is not kindness at all. in fact, for a Christian it’s hard to imagine much worse than the desire not just to kill someone but to damn them too. Let’s have a look at the lines:

Now might I do it. But now 'a is a-praying. And now I'll do it – and so 'a goes to heaven, And so am I revenged! That would be scanned: A villain kills my father, and for that I, his sole son, do this same villain send To heaven. Why, this is base and silly, not revenge. 'A took my father grossly full of bread With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May... (III.iii.73-81)

Hamlet knows that his revenge might be physically possible. He is alone with Claudius. But he needs to reconsider ('scan') that logic. Shakespeare introduces this Christian dilemma that since heaven is better than earth, dying is not a bad thing. He does this elsewhere too. For instance, Feste in Twelfth Night argues that it’s foolish for Olivia ‘to mourn for your brother’s soul being in heaven’ (1.4.66-67). Hamlet is arguing, in other words, that it’s not revenge to help someone to a happier place, as he would be doing if he kills Claudius while he’s praying and therefore in a state of (he thinks) repentance. In Q2, Hamlet says this is ‘base and silly’, that is, inferior and feeble-minded. So he certainly doesn’t think he’s being soft in not killing Claudius. In F it is ‘hire and salary’ (this is the more popular version in conflated editions), and the idea seems to be that in sending Claudius to Heaven he’s just doing it like a hired murderer who doesn’t consider the situation (as opposed to a revenger). But even by Shakespearean standards, what he’s suggesting is very cruel. Even Othello who’s half mad when he kills Desdemona, gives her a chance to pray and repent, saying ‘I would not kill thy soul’ (Othello 5.2.31–2). Samuel Johnson famously said that ‘his speech in which Hamlet, represented as a virtuous character, is not content with taking blood for blood, but contrives damnation for the man that he would punish, is too horrible to be read or to be uttered’.

So yes. It is a dreadful prospect for anyone who believes in a traditional Christian afterlife. 

The thing that bothers Hamlet, of course, is that Claudius himself killed Hamlet’s father while he was taking an afternoon nap (hence ‘full of bread’) and therefore not in a spiritual state. The fact that the Ghost says he is in purgatory, ‘confined to fast in fires / Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature / Are burnt and purged away’ (1.5.11-13) confirms that his journey is not straight to heaven (if we believe the Ghost). So, Hamlet comes to the conclusion that the only fair recompense is to kill Claudius when Claudius is in a state of sin:

When he is drunk, asleep or in his rage, Or in th'incestuous pleasure of his bed, At game a-swearing, or about some act That has no relish of salvation in't. Then trip him that his heels may kick at heaven And that his soul may be as damned and black As hell whereto it goes. (3.3.88-95)

The difference is that where Hamlet’s father’s sins are venial, Hamlet is almost certain Claudius’ sins are mortal, and will send him to hell. 

Part of the horror of what Hamlet is suggesting is that he becomes not just an earthly judge, a vigilante for justice (which is understandable to some extent), but also a judge of the destination of Claudius’ soul, deliberately giving Claudius no choice over his redemption. Not only does revenge itself go against God’s injunction ‘To me belongeth vengeance and recompence’ in Deuteronomy 32:35 (quoted by Paul in Romans 12:19), Hamlet is acting as the last judge in choosing where to send Claudius’ soul. Shakespeare isn’t shying away from the moral consequences of revenge, where the revenger is implicated in his actions, and ends up having to commit a crime as bad as the one he’s trying to punish. As I always say, Shakespeare’s plays are rarely just an individual issue: through Hamlet, he illustrates a much bigger problem with vengeance and injustice.

So while I see what you mean when you say that the tragedy is in Hamlet’s being too cruel, I think any such equation of the tragedy = x is never going to satisfy this play. And while I understand why people want to criticise Hamlet himself as the one to blame for everything (he overthinks; he’s a procrastinator; he’s cruel etc.), blaming one character misses the broader systemic issues that are responsible for Hamlet’s situation (see this post on this question). The play is called Hamlet, but Hamlet is not the play. 

[jcmorrigan]

001 - Tales of Zestiria?

Favorite character: It's a tough call between Maltran and Symonne, and Lunarre is trailing right behind both. I tend to call them the "Heldalf Squad," but make no mistake, Heldalf himself isn't part of it. I just like his swagalicious minions. The dry and sarcastic political manipulator, the sadistic and wordy theater nerd, and the flamboyant cannibal who hates everything. Yes. LOVE. But I have to give a shout to my boy Dezel on the hero side! Angsty/stoic characters are very hit-or-miss with me, but Dezel is the flavor I love - obvious soft spots and quirks, and slowly he builds from being antisocial to showing how big his heart is. When he stops the woman from leaping off the Guinevere tower...that's one of my favorite scenes in the entire game, because you can see when the switch flips, when he realizes that he CANNOT stay aloof any longer when there's a stranger's life on the line. He's still a grump about it but a compassionate grump.

Least Favorite character: Heldalf. His backstory is really clever, and I like the curse on him. But he himself just feels like Ganondorf but more boring. I kinda hate that he's so vanilla when his three lieutenants are in my arsenal of pet villains from the vastness of fiction. Also shout-out to Chancellor BART in the opening Ladylake act, because I distinctly remember liveblogging this to a friend, and I played Zestiria *after* Berseria (I'd loved Berseria and that's why I eventually sought out Zestiria) so here I am just comparing up the corrupt church in Ladylake to the Abbey's suave rogues gallery like "Yeah no BART has nothing on Lady Teresa Linares." Thankfully BART was never seen again.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): DezeRose, SorMik, Symonne x Coco Atarashi (The World Ends With You), Alisha Diphda x Sergei Strelka, and...I swear you have to bear with me here...Zaveid x Anna (Frozen). I also kinda wanna note a couple ships I'm on the fence about for my other favies - those being Maltran x Ebony Maw (Marvel Cinematic Universe or Marvel Ultimate Alliance) and Lunarre x Arkham (Devil May Cry).

Character I find most attractive: Dezel. It is a scientific fact that guys with pointy teeth are just hotter.

Character I would marry: Maybe Dezel, maybe Sergei. I wouldn't want to take them from those I see as their wifeys, but at the same time, they are husband goals, both of them.

Character I would be best friends with: Catch me clinging to Maltran's train and she drags me along annoyedly as I yell "PLEEEEAAASE LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS" and Lunarre is losing it laughing while Symonne rolls her eyes

a random thought: So I toyed around with basically every accessory I picked up, and I decided to put the sideburns on Rose because fuck gender roles. Well then I just got used to seeing her with facial hair in every cutscene where her 3D model was used, and now I headcanon that she does get it. Maybe nonclassical CAH intersex? Like, I don't necessarily see her as trans (but I support everyone who hc's her as such) but moreso "a cis woman, but I grow this stupid damn facial hair like a dude and I don't get why." And this is why you shouldn't let me play with customizable accessories on RPG characters because I can and will abuse my privilege to headcanon.

An unpopular opinion: That this is actually a very good game. Listen, I think I get it - the initial marketing promised something far different. And that's disappointing. But coming back to it several years after its release, after the release of its PREQUEL, when I never had that hype building up...it actually exceeded my expectations. I held off from it for a while because I thought Eizen's fate would make me too sad, but that didn't end up the case at all. I actually had just come off playing a more recently-released triple-A game that was hyped up for years, and I completed it to my satisfaction in 20 hours. $80 for 20 hours. Zestiria gave me my money's worth in comparison; it took me about 60, and I loved just how MUCH story it had to offer me. I honestly like Rose better than Alisha anyway (Rose was one of the biggest aspects that interested me about playing it in the first place). I've also seen complaints that the characters weren't well-developed enough? Which I just kinda take to mean "They didn't angst enough." Listen. There are PLENTY of games out there if you want angst and sad stories. I don't really like sad stories in my games. I like adventures where the party is a goofy foundfam that jokes around with each other and helps each other work through shitty situations, and that's EXACTLY what I got. (And Berseria really worked on me too because it kinda started at the bottom of the angst barrel, then worked its way up through "The edgy and tortured protag has gained a party of idiots and oh noooooo she's learning friendship and happiness.") Dezel's death is one of the few game deaths that just made me SATISFIED to watch instead of depressed because of the closure he got and the themes tied into his final moments and sacrifice. I loved going on this adventure, I loved the idiots who I went on it with, and I loved seeing what Glenwood had to offer me in world design the further I explored.

my canon OTP: There's not much for canon romance in this game, come to think of it. Just subtext and some flirting. So I'm blanking on if there actually were any canon couples at all.

Non-canon OTP: DezeRose! Which maybe can be considered almost-canon based on the amount of subtext, but still. It's adorable. (And it's the exact same dynamic as EiRoku except M/F and a thousand years later. I need these four to double date...the dual-wielding goofs with their edgy, grumpy Reapers...)

most badass character: Rose! Not only able to wield the Shepherd's Armatization powers, but also to be a dang good assassin on her own, able to hold her own against Heldalf before she even had her eyes opened to seraphim! Though a shout-out goes to Edna because her armatization was my favorite to play with. There's something just satisfying about bashing the enemy in front of you with a pair of GIANT FISTS

pairing I am not a fan of: RoseAli. To be honest, it was at one point something I kinda enjoyed as a third-tier ship for Rose (Dezel first, then Lailah in second). But then...Alisha's Story. I didn't actually purchase it, thank goodness, just watched it on YouTube, and it was the most grating addition that anyone could've made to this game. First of all, I can sum up the issues with Alisha's Story by reminding everyone that it canonized a secret entrance to Camlann that was much easier to get to and wasn't protected by Muse's sacrifice. But the real thing that hurt to watch was how far down they had to knock Rose and Alisha's friendship to get them to rebuild from scratch. Rose claiming she was never Alisha's friend because she's grieving Sorey? The two of them getting into a PHYSICAL FISTFIGHT over it? Nope nope nope. That's not my Rose. Even less my Rose is that whole scene where she...you know...pounces on Alisha to dress her in the silly noblewoman's dress, and it's framed like...let's just say it's really uncomfortable to watch if you don't know the punchline is just a silly outfit. Even though Alisha's Story isn't canon in my head, it still really killed any buzz I had for RoseAli. I will also say I'm not a big fan of Eizavie - first of all, EiRoku or bust in this house, and second, I have a little bit of a hard time seeing Zaveid as mlm due to how much he goes on and on about The Ladies(TM). (Though I could see Eizen as having a tiny crush on him, though. Just like "Oh no he's hot but he's connected to Aifread's disappearance help")

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Mostly just in Alisha's Story. I was mad about the aforementioned Rose stuff, but also...like...they undid Lunarre's original cathartic death, they did so to team him back up with Symonne and then do a whole fakeout that they had Maltran with them too, but Maltran is just an illusion and immediately after this, Lunarre and Symonne just decide "Yeah, we're not gonna work together anymore, have a nice life." Why does Maltran need to stay dead if LUNARRE somehow survived EXPLODING? And just...look to next question for more clarification:

favourite friendship: I just want to imagine that Maltran, Lunarre, and Symonne were weird evil friends. The kind who'd take artistic selfies and caption them "Murder and mayhem with my besties!". Maybe they even had a sibling dynamic. They were all pretty dang jaded, so I like to think they sat around sometimes talking about the things in this world that did them wrong. The reasons they were drawn to Heldalf. Heldalf himself wouldn't have cared, he would've kicked them around like disposable tools, but the three of them were too entrenched in his dogma to see it. Maybe if they met up again after he was off the board...then they'd sing a different tune. Realize they're all three better than this, and now they're gonna do things THEIR way, because remember when they made a three-point attack on Glenwood and Sorey was barely able to keep up with them wrecking Lastonbell AND Pendrago AND Glaivend? Remember when Lunarre and Symonne had each other's backs the night Dezel died? Now they can do what they want on their terms! And I just - I have many MANY feelings about these three.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: Okay silly self-insert time but the thing is, Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls) and Roman Torchwick (RWBY) are my two favorite parental f/o's (and also my OTP to end all OTPs), and I have this thing about how they'd be PERFECT crime dads to Symonne in particular because she's like a little, more theatrical Neopolitan. So there's a universe in my head where Symonne is basically already my little sister, and I look out for her - well, okay, she's a seraph with powerful Artes and I am a powerless mortal so really she looks out for me because "I suppose SOMEONE has to make sure you don't die" and I am grateful to her for it.

[thoushallnotfall]

Hi! Would you say David was obsessed with Michael or had real feelings for him? I saw a girl talking once about how David, even after his brothers getting killed, still talks to Michael to "stop fighting him" and still asks him to join them. I was thinking about that and I wondered if this was just a form to David to tricky him again or he was really trying to convince Michael to give up and stay with him? And if so, would it be because of feelings or because he hates to not get what he wants?

Real talk? 100% honest opinion? David is a repressed bisexual wreck and this movie is as gay as the Fourth of July.

Now I feel like I’ve touched on this a little bit in some of these previous “deep dive” questions (thank you guys so much for continuing to send me these I swear I am on cloud nine right now) but honestly what I personally feel the characters themselves would realistically do/feel/how they would react to things as real beings with complex emotions/backstories, and how this 1h 38m horror/comedy movie treats their reactions are not the same thing.

Look, as much as we love the characters and as writers and fans have expanded on them as much as we can and actually care about them as individual characters with like, actual thoughts and feelings--they’re the monster antagonists of the film. This was also the 80s. They’re not really meant to have complex motivations. 

Even when I read the prequel script Schumacher literally cares so little about developing the personalities of the other lost boys that aren’t David he just kind of throws their names in at random when they have to talk, and I know that because at the end when the fifth lost boy that was just in the prequel script had died, they still gave him a line postmortem because they literally don’t care who says the line--they just plug their names in at random. 

All the personality we get for the other boys comes 100% from the actors, from how they developed their characters. Yes, they get direction and I’m sure Schumacher had an idea of what he wanted for each one, but I think it was only at a surface level (I would murder someone for a copy of Lost in the Shadow so I could read more about this, but c'est la vie). They’re background props in the movie; I mean I don’t even remember hearing Dwayne’s name in the movie. He’s got like, maybe three lines? One of which we all just choose to ignore as writers because it’s so out of character for him. (I cringe whenever I get to that scene in the movie every. single. time) It took the actors actually caring about their roles and trying to develop them further for us to be able to pick up on all the little things and wring out what personality we can from their performances.

So as far as the David/Michael dynamic. I would say David 100% has feelings for Michael. No doubt in my mind. This movie is gay to the max. I already talked about the reasoning behind David changing Michael in relation to Max. I think he brought him into the cave with the intention of having Michael be Star’s first kill, but I think David and the boys genuinely enjoyed hanging out with/messing with Michael and on a whim David changed his mind and decided to turn him. But if we’re being real I think David was repressing a mad crush he was forming on Michael at the same time.

That is the face of a conflicted bisexual man who’s suddenly realizing, “Oh no, he’s hot.” I don’t make the rules.

Seriously though, I think David genuinely had feeling for Michael. It’s not like David and the boys hang out with other guys on a regular basis aside from each other, and I see their relationship with each other in a more brotherly way rather than sexual, particularly when you look at their relationship from the prequel script (are you guys tried of me talking about the prequel script yet?). So for David, this would be the first time in probably 80ish years that he’s actually just hung out and had fun with another guy that wasn’t one of his brothers. He’s probably feeling a lot of repressed feelings coming to the surface and Michael’s a good time, so why not? Plus he’s a snack. So I agree with the movie on this part, I think David would have gone through with turning him for his own reasons (not because of Max).

But after his brothers were killed I don’t think David would have still been trying to recruit him. I think the movie is sincere in this line though.

I think movie!David is still trying to get Michael on his side, most likely because of Max (again, from my previous post, I really think the secret villain reveal hurt the characters in the movie more than it helped) because Max still wants Michael to join them because he wants Lucy. 

I think if we’re being fair to the character though, no matter how heartless people might think David is, even when it comes to the other lost boys, (I’ve talked about that too) he’s not. This is an 80s horror movie, this is before the villains/monsters were allowed to be complex and have real feelings (fun fact: that tear David sheds in the movie after Marko dies and the Frogs/Sam flee the cave? It was actually because the glass contacts Kiefer had to wear. You could only keep those things in your eyes for like 5 minutes before they dried your eyes out really bad, hence the tear; but Schumacher liked that it fit the scene so he kept it in the movie. That’s the only reason we get even an inkling of emotion from them post-Marko death.) so we don’t get to see the complexity of his character as much as we’d like. I do think Kiefer, the absolute king he is, really did an amazing job of trying to throw in a lot of layers to the character. 

So to wrap up my rant here, I personally think there are two answers to your question.

I think, in the movie, David is genuinely still trying to get Michael to join him. Whether it be for Max’s benefit or not I can’t say, but I think, for the sake of the movie, yeah, that’s what that scene was trying to do. I think movie!David is totally crushing on Michael and that’s why he turns him, but I don’t think that has anything to do with why he’s still trying to get him to join after the boys are dead. Pretty sure that ship sailed; it’s all business now.

But if this character was allowed to exist outside the sphere of a 90 minute movie? If he was allowed to deviate from furthering the agenda of the “secret villains” plot? No. No way in hell would David still be okay with Michael after what he’d done to his boys. He’d being flaying him alive. 

Thank you so much for the question! It was such a good one! ❤️ Feel free to send me any more! I am always down to answer these kinds of questions. (I’m genuinely surprised anyone actually want me opinion on this stuff. It’s bonkers. You guys are amazing.)

-Rachel

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 295: So How Are You Holding Up (Because I’m a Potato)

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi randomly and graciously decided to answer all of our long-standing questions about Mr. Compress, including “is he secretly hot,” “is he secretly related to that Robin Hood thief guy,” and “is he ever going to use his quirk to chain chomp a hole right through his ass??” with the answer to all three being “yes, of course.” As for our follow-up questions, “sir, is Mr. Compress going to die,” and “holy shit,” his answers were, respectively, “wait and see,” and, “I understand, really I do, but that isn’t actually a question.” Well, he’s got us there.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi finally ends the War arc with the speed and grace of an overworked college student scrambling to BS their entire midterm essay with five minutes left before the deadline. Deku’s Spidey Sense is all “what up, I exist, p.s. you’re in danger kid” like oh shit, no, you think?? Compress is all “I’m not gonna die but I am going to pass out and be captured” and honestly, at this point I’ll take it. Spinner is all “Tomura you can have this one last Souvenir Hand I found that was in the oven for too long” and slaps it on his face because HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, SHUT UP. Dabi is all, “[currently in a marble].”Tomura is all “actually, I’m AFO.” AFO is all “hahahahaha” and summons all of the remaining Noumus to cart him and Spinner and Dabi off to safety. Deku is all “DAMMIT TOMURA I’M REALLY MAD AT YOU FOR KILLING, AND I QUOTE, ‘AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE’, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, GET THIS, I TOTALLY WANT TO SAVE YOU TOO! LMAO ISN’T THAT WILD.” Fandom is all “OH MY GOD, NO WAY, is what we would say if we had literally never met Deku before, I guess.” And then the arc just ends, lol. See you in the new year, kids.

WAKE UP, LINK... I MEAN, DEKU

jesus christ Vestiges, not a one of you guys has got any chill at ALL. LISTEN TO ME. THIS CHILD IS DEAD. HE IS DECEASED. LOOK AT HIM. HE’S LYING THERE ALL DAZED WITH HIS ARMS AND LEGS TURNED INTO GREEN PUDDING AND YOU’RE ALL “GET UP LAZYBONES” LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD. CAN HE JUST REST?? CAN YOU ALL JUST CALL IT A DRAW WITH THE VILLAINS ALREADY SO WE CAN FINALLY END THIS TRAUMATIC ARC AND MOVE ON TO THE NEW “TRIAGE AND ROBOT LIMBS FOR EVERYBODY” ARC INSTEAD

LIE BACK DOWN YOU IDIOT!!

no you didn’t pass out because of a ~heatwave~, you passed out because he set you on fire while you were out here shooting Blackwhip out of your mouth with your SPINDLY ACCORDION LIMBS dangling uselessly from you like WINDCHIMES you RIDICULOUS BOY

“where’s Todoroki-kun” oh shiiiiiiit. right. god I hope someone caught him. BAKUGOU OWES HIM A FAVOR, HOW ‘BOUT IT

OH NEVER MIND HE APPARENTLY CAUGHT HIMSELF??

Todoroki Shouto has really highkey been the MVP of the entire fourth quarter of this arc. he deserves the world, and odds are all Horikoshi’s going to give him are lasting trauma, and a souvenir shirt that says “I survived this stupid arc and all I got was this t-shirt”

anyway now Deku’s being hit by a Lightning Bolt of Realization or some such? idk what’s going on, but I bet you it’s related to Tomura waking up again

OH SHIT??

LOL WHAT. THAT’S IT?? SPIDEY-SENSE?? I mean we all predicted Spidey-Sense being one of his quirks like ages ago, so Well Done, Us, I guess

but also, seriously?? all of that drama and intrigue about the fourth user’s quirk and this is what we end up with? what was All Might being so cagey about then? how did this dude die? I need answers goddammit. new, better answers lol

maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Deku keeps talking about how his head hurts?

I mean, for Deku of all people to be all “ouch that hurts”, it must really fucking hurt, you know? like oh my god Deku are you dying

lmao and SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO APPARENTLY DON’T FEEL PAIN

this man is out here FROLICKING, half-naked and half-torsoed, AND STILL FEVERISHLY RATTLING OFF HIS MONOLGOUE. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN ESCAPED YET YOU DINGUS. did watching Dabi pour bleach over his head inspire you to think of interesting new ways you could abuse your own body for the sake of Theatrics?? why are villains Like This

anyway so now Mirio’s punching him, because what else are you even supposed to do in this situation

I read this speech bubble three times in a row very carefully this time around just to make sure I was reading the words right. and then looked for a T/L note below. and there was none. whatever RHA, at least you all are out here enjoying yourselves

wait what?

I guess he hasn’t woken up yet after all?? so then wtf is Deku’s Spidey Sense getting all worked up about. I mean to be fair there’s danger all around them still so having a Spidey Sense in this kind of situation is kind of like bringing a smoke alarm to a BBQ

now what

wait did he put them back in the marble?? or is that panel just meant to show us how they were in the marble earlier?? Horikoshi please make this less confusing, I’m already having trouble staying focused as it is. and on top of everything else Compress is cascading blood like Niagara Falls right now and I’m starting to wonder if you really are going to kill him off

anyway so Mirio is still in mid-punch, and now he’s reaching out to punch Spinner with his other hand. heh. Mirio please be careful Tomura is right there, and I swear to god Horikoshi IF HE LAYS A HAND ON HIS SWIRLY BLOND HEAD SO HELP ME I WILL MAIL YOU A VIAL OF MY TEARS

okay seriously what the hell is happening

when you attach?? everyone?? to your body?? whose body?? who is this??

oh wait okay it’s a flashback to Tomura talking about his Hands

lmao this is so disjointed, I can’t tell what’s a flashback and what isn’t and whose thoughts these are lmao I give up. I’m just going to fire up a bunch of question marks until this starts making some goddamn sense. ???????

??????

????????

-- !!!!!!!!!!!

okay hold up. so did Spinner just slap Tomura’s last remaining Signature Fashion Hand onto his face just now for absolutely no reason?? is that what’s going on?? and fuck me but it actually worked too, lmao. is your buddy unconscious and unresponsive to stimuli?? no problem, just slap ‘em in the face with a burnt and shriveled severed hand. works every time

p.s. I SWEAR TO GOD HORIKOSHI. IF YOU TOUCH MIRIO!!! HE’S A GOOD BOY LEAVE HIM ALONE

??????????

OKAY WELL. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WTF IS HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST MIRIO’S NOT DEAD. KACCHAN GOT BLOWN AWAY THOUGH SOB. HOW IRONIC THAT THE GOD OF EXPLOSION MURDERS WOULD BE MURDERED BY AN EXPLOSION WHILE I WAS BUSY SAYING “OH MY GOD”

ohhhhhh, okay. so this is AFO’s narration

and that’s a partial answer to the question of “why did AFO bother raising Tomura up as his heir if he was planning on taking over his body the whole time.” apparently it makes it easier to control him. joy :’)

also this image of a potato wearing a Tomura wig is sending me fjkllkhl

oh my god he summoned all the Noumu to him like Aquaman and his sea creatures. this whole situation just keeps on getting better

-- oh hell no. oh fuck me, fucking shit

SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’M SORRY SPINNER, TOMURA CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

oh my god. I fucking hate everything right now oh my god

I GUESS WE FIGURED OUT WHAT DEKU’S SPIDEY SENSE WAS WARNING HIM ABOUT, THEN ಠ_ಠ

fucking great!! so I guess nobody is getting a happy ending today, then. the heroes got their asses handed to them (sorry Compress, it’s a figure of speech, didn’t mean to be disrespectful); Deku and Kacchan died; Shouto’s evil brother came back from the dead to ruin his life; everyone and their dog lost various limbs; and the villains have now lost Twice (dead), Compress and Machia (presumably going to be captured), and now their fearless leader’s body has been completely taken over by AFO, which is such an unsexy development that it managed to completely undo all of the Mr. Compress Sexiness from last week. goddamn it

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO END IT LIKE THIS

up close Hadou’s face is looking pretty rough. :/ that’s going to scar over isn’t it. at least she’ll look like a badass

meanwhile I appreciate that Horikoshi drew what looks to be a little puff of air next to Kacchan’s mouth, just to reassure us all that he’s not actually dead. that’s fine. you just lie there then. also his wound really is in the exact same place as All Might’s and it’s giving me all kinds of feels you guys but whatever I’m not gonna sit here dwelling on it all day

AND POOR SHOUTO. IS HE STILL CRYING OMG. AND ENDEAVOR, WAY TO DO NOTHING STILL. THE ALL TIME CHAMP OF SITTING AROUND AND STARING, GOOD FOR YOU

ARE YOU FOR REAL, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

(－‸ლ)

lol

“peace out, loser.” “SHUT YOUR TRAP, HO.” quality encounter right here

anyway so he’s blasting Deku with something and Deku’s just flying back all unconscious-like. so then, what even was the point of all that, huh

oh I see, it was to lead us into one last Deku monologue to close this arc out

oh my god Deku if you say you’re going to save him I will turn around and do a cannonball into a ballpit of feels right now, don’t do this to me

OH SNAP I THINK HE’S GONNA THOUGH

DID HE LOOK LIKE HE NEEDED SAVING?? I MUST CONFESS YOU AND I ARE OF A MIND HERE, YOUNG BROCCOLI. YES IN SPITE OF ALL THE MURDERS. WHAT CAN I SAY IT’S COMPLICATED

by the way I just have to point out here, that after all of those impossibly pretty close-ups of Hawks’s unconscious face, Horikoshi really did my child dirty here lmao

he looks like a squished cockroach. THAT’S MY BABY BOY

and it looks like the cavalry is finally on its way too! took them long enough. so I guess they can take care of any of the remaining Noumu stragglers, but first let Deku finish his speech. listen up Deku I really need you to say something cool and iconic to cap off this thus-far admittedly underwhelming Last Chapter Of The Year, here

AHHHHHHH YES HE REALLY DID IT HE SAID THE THING

well he thought the thing, anyway. close enough. I’ll take it!

so this is really the end of the arc then! or at least I hope, good lord. anyways, all right then so let’s do a quick status check:

it looks like the Noumu are hauling Tomura and Spinner away to safety, but it doesn’t look like they managed to save Machia or Compress. this honestly might be in Compress’s best interests though. the heroes can get him some medical help along with Kacchan and Endeavor and everyone else

Dabi is apparently hidden inside Spinner’s scarf, but do they have any way of releasing him without Compress there to undo the quirk? will he be all right in there. like how is he going to get food and water and air and stuff lol. does it wear off after a bit? can Compress undo it when he wakes up, even if he’s in custody? is there a distance limit on it?

and Skeptic was presumably turned into a marble as well, but Compress didn’t bother mentioning him at all. nobody cares about poor Skeptic lol

and bonus AFO theories status check:

Dad for One - AFO called Deku worthless and hasn’t seemed to take the least bit of interest in him despite getting to see his fancy SIXQUIRKS up close and personal. so if he is his dad he sure as heck is a terrible one, that’s all I can say

All for One for All/Deku is a horcrux - well the Spidey Sense seems to offer an alternative explanation to why Deku could sense AFO’s presence, but on the other hand it doesn’t explain why AFO was able to sense Deku’s as well (seeing his dreams and such). still thinking there’s a connection there, guys, idk

AFO is the final villain - five words for you: “EVERYTHING IS FOR MY SAKE.” is that concrete enough yet lol. pretty sure this arc marked both the beginning and end of Tomura’s brief stint as the Big Bad. Deku’s got it in his mind to save him now somehow, and we all know what happens when Deku starts getting determined to save people. look out AFO

as for the heroes, they’re all varying degrees of Fucked and I think it’s honestly too much to even take stock of at this point. maybe if I get a rush of hyperfixation in the next couple days or so I’ll do a separate post analyzing the impact of this arc and where things currently stand and where they might be headed from here

but in the meantime, ngl, this chapter was kind of a hot mess lmao. but whatever, I don’t even care because at least he managed to get all of it done within the allotted 17 pages, meaning that next week (or rather two weeks from now, sob) we really can get moving onto the aforementioned Triage arc! BRING ON THAT ANGST. I am so fucking hyped goddammit

[bunnylouisegrimes]

Episode 7 Review (BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH LOW KEY FUCKING UP CHARLIE’S BACKSTORY)

Spoilers, so be ready. Also, this one might be a little longer than my other ones, so just be aware.

This episode was both good and bad, at least for me. Let’s start off with all the bad and get that out of the way:

For starters, Bing’s sudden “I’m so high and moral, I’m so above Charlie, boo hoo he used me” narrative I swear... he’s so annoying. Gtfo with that shit Bing. You’re a rapist literal motherfucker. Charlie uses assholes like you for his benefit and kid’s benefit, then you die in the end, it’s what you deserve. I did love the nod to Dewey Hansom from the book and comic in this episode tho. Dewey was a rapist himself and if I remember correctly, he did stuff to kids, and Charlie made sure he got his in the end too. I guess this attitude Bing had did lead to his eventual downfall, but still... doesn’t mean it isn’t annoying lol.

A question I had, a friend on here had, and I’m sure we all had was: did Charlie get raped by Bing or... what? I mean, at the time, it was implied, based on what Bing said to him which was extremely creepy, but we didn’t know because his body got dragged away like nothing ever happened. Plus, it cut to what happened to him in his childhood around this time (my opinions on his childhood in a moment). The answer is: No, Charlie was not raped by Bing. He was about to be raped by him, but was not. Here is the screenshot from my friend who asked the writer of the episode:

So no, Charlie was not! Thank God... Of course, hitting him was not good, and what happened to him as a child was not good at all, but this would’ve made things a lot worse both writing wise and in regards to Charlie. Credit to @welcometochristmasland for asking the writer, thank you so much for clarifying this for everyone!

I’m especially relieved by this not just because I’m a Charlie fan girl, but this reason: Charlie getting raped AGAIN in his life, and especially by that fucker, would be so unneeded and stupid. There would be no point to that other than shock value filler. Not to mention, wouldn’t it make things extremely awkward between Vic and Charlie? Despite what’s happening with Wayne, I mean, she was almost raped by Bing herself, and if Charlie actually were in this scenario... that would be pretty awkward between the two, right? I know if I were Vic and I found out about that, I would feel pretty awkward, even if he had my kid, because rape is way too strong a punishment over this. We already know Bing is worse than Charlie, you wouldn’t have to show it through this, and thank God the show did not. I was gonna be real angry over that... of course, there is one thing that unexpectedly made me angry at this episode...

I don’t know what the writers’ problem is with Charlie’s backstory and the women in his life hurting him. They don’t make them saints, but they make them out to be like, “Oh, look at us, we love you and we point out your flaws, and you hurt us.” You know what Charlie’s mother and wife said to him all those years ago according to the comic book that reveals his backstory? They told him how much he drained them of their happiness and youth. No shit Charlie has such a distrust in women! He’s been told by his own mother and first wife, who he broke an arm and a leg for how much just to support the family, that he’s worthless. This leads him to snap! His mom wouldn’t have cared he was raped. She hated him. She told him, when he was forced to sleep in a coffin in the back of the inn and mortuary they lived in, that he belonged in one, so it served him right to sleep in one. Real loving mother of the year, am I right? Again, she still wasn’t a saint in the show, but Charlie going off at her like that was just... WHAT??? NO. And making Charlie groom other kids uknowingly while he’s groomed himself? I really don’t like this, and it’s even worse that Charlie gets more mad at his mom and not so much himself in this situation. He blames himself, but moreso blames his mom. Just... why?

In the comic, the guy who hurt Charlie as a kid was a random guy. He was kicked out of the inn and mortuary for hurting his mom while he was her customer. She points out that maybe a woman doesn’t satisfy him, and boy, is she right, because the fucker follows Charlie as he’s walking up a hill to play with his sled, and rapes Charlie. Charlie gets away, his abilities start to unlock just a bit once his head hits a tree, he kills the rapist, goes back into town, kills his mom, and kills one of the owners of the inn and mortuary (probably because he was trying to stop Charlie, and little boy Charlie has snapped). After this, Charlie leaves and ends up in Kansas. He has little no memory of this.

Now, did the episode show us his mom’s neglectful behavior by leaving her son midway through a little show he was doing to sleep around? Yes. Did they show his abilities unlock after his rape and him killing her? Yes. Did they show him get raped in the first place, and is it still horrible? Yes to both. And I think it was a good change in the show to make the man someone Charlie trusted instead of a random guy (its both equal in how horrible and wrong it is, but the fact it was someone he trusted is even more shocking, I think, but the good kind of shocking, not some cheap useless bullshit).

But similar to Charlie’s backstory with Cassie, the writers seemed to have skimmed through the comic and not understand the point: Not only does sexual assault as a child fuel Charlie’s trauma and pain, but so does the feelings of uselessness he felt from his mother hurting him and his wife hurting him. I get it, you want to make Charlie out to be the big bad, but he already is with the questionable ways he saves kids. His backstory is meant to be the place where you see his softer side, not see more of his bad. You see his softness, but then the show turns around and says, “ReMeMbEr, hE’s StIlL tHe BaD gUy.” We get it, writers! Now can you please stop making him unsympathetic? There is that side of him that people need to understand! That’s what makes his character so genius!

Slightly off topic, but I thought of something briefly: I can’t help but feel the show is maybe doing this not only because they really want to make it out like “Charlie’s so evil and if you like his sad backstory and understand him, you’re just wrong UWU), but maybe it’s also because they don’t want to talk about a male victim of abuse story. Of course, yes, they did it with him being raped as a child, and I’m glad that they still covered the topic of a male victim of sexual abuse, especially sexual child abuse. Showing how awful that is is important, and I think they handled that aspect well. However, Charlie is also a child abuse victim with his mother, and a domestic violence victim with his wife. Why wouldn’t they want to show a child abuse victim, and a domestic violence survivor (and a male one at that!) in a way that is important and well handled too? They didn’t make a PSA out of it, no, and they wouldn’t make PSAs out of the other things either, that’s not what I’m saying. But by showing these things in media, it’s important. It raises awareness of these issues that happen in our world, and who knows, it could help somebody find something to relate to. Think of the movie Kill Bill: the movie brings up people, especially women, getting raped in comas. It’s a problem, it happens to people, and Tarantino brought that up. It wasn’t in a PSA fashion, but he still showed you that something as awful as that could happen and does happen in our world. So what’s the problem, writers? Why couldn’t you explore these things with Charlie? Is it because he is a man, so exploring women hurting men is “wrong?”

Because let me tell you all: If Charles were Charlotte, and she were abused by her father and husband the same way as Charles was in the comic and book, I think the writers would praise this concept. “She has a distrust for men because of how much they hurt her in life! She’s a genius villain!” And don’t get me wrong: Charlotte would be. And men abusing women happens way more often than the other way around, it’s still absolutely wrong, and I would fully support Charlotte as a villain. I wouldn’t like her in that way as I do Charles because I’m straight, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy Charlotte Manx as a character and love her genius writing. But here comes Charles, a man abused by women... oh no! We can’t discuss that! Why not? What’s this double standard crap?

I’d like to reiterate that this is only a possible theory for why the writers made these choices, not an official reason. I’m not trying to accuse them of pulling a double standard, I’m just throwing that idea out there as a general, “is this why, because you’re not really giving a reason why.” And before anyone twists my words: Abuse of any kind, regardless of sexes involved, is wrong. I think female abuse stories should be told, and I think male abuse stories should be told, both in real life and in the fictional realm. I am a bit disappointed they did not do the full potential and exploration of Charlie’s very tragic backstory that they had in regards to his relationship with his mother and wife.

Now that I’ve let out my ranting, the positives of this episode:

Bing getting bird shit in his mouth in the beginning was hilarious. What happens to him in the end was fabulous. Charlie’s final words to him and how he left him to rot... oh how wonderful it was! And Charlie’s words to Bing throughout this whole episode were just... excellent. Obviously it was hard to watch him get beaten, but he had quite the guts to still try to trick him. His truthful words to Bing that made him stop when he was about to rape him, and his words to Bing after stabbing him were just... I think the best lines Charlie has said out of the whole series so far. His bad assery shines in this episode.

I find it fascinating how Charlie’s fears are outside of Christmasland and locked in that house. Despite all the nonsense with Cassie’s character I’ve discussed before and how she is not the abuser she is in the book and comic, and how important it is to discuss it and portray it, I do like Millie exploring herself. I suppose her mother does kinda have to be involved to help Millie explore herself, so I guess there is something good coming out of this, even if the take away is an aspect of Charlie being ruined and made less sympathetic when it should be.

Wayne and Craig’s interaction is really sweet, I’m glad he’s here and helping him. The comparison between Millie and her mom and Wayne and his dad is really good, I do like that. And Wayne saving Charlie, I was like HELL YES!!!! You’re doing good and you don’t even realize it, kid!

All in all: there was a part I was about to hate in this episode that was confirmed to not be there by the writer of it (Thank God), there was something I actually do hate about this episode, and then there are a few things I love about this episode. It was definitely interesting. You feel horrible for Charlie, you hate Bing even more, you feel glad he gets what he deserves, and the exploration with Millie and Wayne is good. If you’re like me and you really want Charlie’s backstory to be as it was in book form in regards to his relationship with his mother (and with his wife, quite a few episodes before) because it makes more sense, allows better exploration of concepts in our real world, and allows you to understand Charlie better, you won’t like his backstory entirely even as he was a kid. But if you can look past all that, there’s really no sour taste that will be left in your mouth, except for pity for Charlie (but most of us, if not all of us, feel that for him, that’s obvious, it’s horrible what happened to him).

Sorry this one was very long, thank you for reading till the end if you have! I hope you enjoyed it!

[tonya-the-chicken]

I wrote this post some time ago as a reply to someone and now I somehow want to post it again with some changes lol

TW: mentions of murder, referenced canon abuse and swearing

Let’s talk about redemption arcs and people’s overwhelming desire to punish fictional characters for what they did... Inspired by Endeavor hate ngl... I mostly speak about fictional charcters in this post so pllease, don’t go dumb and understand that fictional characters and irl people should be treated differently

I think sometimes people don`t understand why punishment exists in our society at all. Like, why couldn`t we just forgive? Why punishment is needed? Oh, I would like to talk about behavioural psychology, but it is kinda creepy so instead let`s remember what my teacher of LAWS said(idk what you call it in your bitchass America)

Punishment basically serves two functions:

Preventative (show others and a person that they can’t just get away with their deeds). Like, if you knew that there are no negative consequences, wouldn`t you do it? Wouldn`t you kill the old lady?

Correction and all work with a person in general (for example, you can be forced to go through some psychological help)

Also, I lied there’s one more: compensation. Like, if you stole something, then bring money back, you little shit. Or pay for therapy for your victim

So when we put it into stories and so popular nowadays redemption arcs (which I fucking adore if they are done correctly) we have 4 points out of this 3 cause the first one can be put into two

Character is punished to show others that this is not something you should do (it’s a kinda societal thing and has nothing to do with character in particular. This point in general is not interesting because it doesn’t drives changes in person by itself)

Character is punished so he himself would think twice before doing this shit again (we can’t know if person’s remorse is genuine so it’s better to simply scare them. But I can allow skipping this point if person’s remorse is clealy shown to be genuine and we as readers understand that. That’s probably the big distinction we, as readers, should see: while irl we never know persons true motives, work of fiction can provide them to us clearly)

Character changes and understands what is wrong in what he has done (the part of redemption we all love and enjoy)

Characters work hard to correct or atone for their mistakes

As we can see first two bullets has nothing to do with character development and serve for the purpose of maintaining order. The third one IS a character development and the last one is what makes people actually forgive horrible actions and not go ape shit I guess. But for some of us nothing is enough, isn`t it?

And there is one more shit that is often in redemption arcs and that shit is great and I fucking love it

Explanation of the character’s behaviour, their reasoning and motivation

I truly enjoy reading about WHY characters behave a certain way but people, remember, SAD BACKSTORY IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Same goes to your mental problems and hard life situation. The fact that behaviour can be explained doesn’t mean shit. Like, behaviour also follows certain laws and despite the fact that it’s sometimes hard to understand all the details we still theoretically can explain ANY BEHAVIOUR. Does this mean we can excuse any behaviour? HELL NO

So remember folks, “They had their reasons to do this” means nothing most of the time. “I wanted to try how it feels” is actually a valid reason to kill someone, you know. Of course, if crimes is not severe, reasoning suddenly can be very important like we won`t punish harshly someone who stole bread cause he is starving or cause he has kleptomania (I mean as a literal disorder). But even in that case you must pay back money cause like stealing is bad but eat the rich

let`s talk examples from bnha cause why not

Endeavour

We have Enji oh my baby you have done so much stupid shit you dumbass. Sad backstory even if will be brought up in the future, currently is not a focus of redemption at all. Like, he even doesn`t explain his behaviour too much. “He want to be the strongest, so he decided that even if his genes will make it to the top it will be enough. As a result,  blinded by his goal,   he abused his family”. Basically, it`s all the explanation we have right now. And if Hori stops at it I will be fine with it. Honestly, as much as I want to learn more about Enji’s past if Horikoshi leaves everything at this I would give him nothing but mad respect cause... This kind of shows that your reasoning doesn’t matter that much if you did horrifying things

So 3 points to redeem someone

Enji didn’t suffer any punishment for his actions (nightmares are considered punishment only if you believe in God. Also, too weak, God, try harder... And same goes for High-End). When I think about him being punished I actually worry about society’s reaction cause, like, he is number 1 hero and the fact that he’s an abuser will be, like, very shocking to simple people.Trust in hero will fall harder than my will to live during 2020. And honestly, media would just turn this into a drama possibly hurting other members of his family, like.... Enji being legally punished for his action would be an interesting plotline but in general I am not a fan

We see his genuine remorse and character growth. We all agree that he even is drawn differently now changed and trying to become a better person, yeah? Clumsily at first, but he genuinely works hard to be a better peron, hero and father. I can respecct that

Compensation… Well, you can exactly “correct” trauma so he should pay up for psychologists for each child he probably should follow the path of atonement and try to give them something he robbed them from. Like, go to family dinners with Fuyumi even though every last one of them is a disaster and nobody is happy to be there. Or make everything possible to provide Rei calm life with her children (like building a new house, yes, this is an amazing thing) or at least become *reducted cause I wanna this post to be serious and SFW*... Tbh I have nothing to say, he himself says multiple times that he seeks nothing but atonment, not even forgiveness

So like you better work bitch to make your family happy bastard... [And tbh they seem so much better then when I first wrote this post, I am so proud of you, my garbage fire man]

Overhaul

In no way is he redeemed but somehow people put Overhaul and Endeavor stans in the same category so here he goes

Kai has something Enji doesn’t: very good and detailed explanation, a plan, a smart reasoning. His wrong deeds were basically for a better good he believed in. But we all collectively hate him for what he done to Eri despite his actions having r E A S o n S. Dude has some MOTIVATION. So like yeah bros. It makes him an interesting character and he is an amazing villain but dude deserves to rot in prisons. He shows no remorse and I am gonna bet he won`t even think about somehow helping others. Dude is a shitty person. And I fucking love him

So let’s go for our 3 bullets again

Punishment. Yes, he is punished, he is in jail with both his hands cut off. Would it make people forgive him? Nah

Personal growth. I would like to see it but as far we saw barely no growth... Though maybe being in jail without quirk will make his brain work

Atonement... Dude has a Messiah complex, I ain’t waiting for that anytime soon

So I asked myself if I had two men: one who spent a sentence in jail for child abuse but is more or less the same person and another who wasn’t punished for his abuse but feel genuine remorse and actively try to make things better who will I choose? Of course, I will choose Pikachu

But is it possible to redeem Overhaul? I wonder if there`s a force in this world strong enough to make him become a better person. Welp... I am a sucker for redemptions, justt letting you know

All for One

Oh, he is irredeemable (and this is sexy). Why is he here? Cause, well

Even if he is punished there`s no punishment severe enough to describe how horrifying his deeds are

Even if he is to feel remorse… he has like 500 years or something??? And he didn`t feel anything killing people??? So why would he change today?

Even if he atone for what he’s done… I am to believe he started at least a civil war. You can`t atone for that bitch. You crossed all fucking lines, all fucking lines

AfO is literally the most evvil man in bnha... I don’t want to see him redeemed cause I love characters that are pure evil and I love the despair of realizing you can’t fix what you have done. Though you are free to have a different opinion! Who knows, maybe Horikoshi will make a classy redemption for him and I will scream out of excitement? Cause I am that kind of bitch??? Who knows! I just love to think Doctor Ujiko is gay for him

Anyway, why do people like to make this characters suffer? Like, Endeavor, Minoru, Overhaul, many others? Is this part of the “punishment” to feel like person paid for their deeds? Or do people just like fictional violence and punishing “bad” characters make them feel good about themselves? Who knows

I have no idea what this post is about I want to sleep and I like Enji though if you dislike him this is fine. I hope it was interesting reading this, love you all bye

Don’t kill me for my controversial takes, I am depressed

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

I only answer to MY Queen.

[Novoselic Castle, 11:06pm]

...

Guard 1: What are you doing?

Guard 2: It’s humid tonight and this armour is stuffy...I need some air...

Guard 1: I don’t give a skongs ass how humid it is! Get back to work.

*As the two guards argue, Mikan quickly scurries past them. She makes it to a doorway, goes through it, and closes the doors behind her.

Phew...good, the coast is clear...

Now, if I remember correctly...Sonia’s bedroom should be just up these stairs...?

*She begins to head up the carpeted spiral staircase, being careful with her steps.

That all went smoothly...maybe a little too smoothly...

Can’t help but feel bad about what I had to do to poor Tenko though...

*She makes it to the top of the stairs and comes across a door. Upon trying to open it, she finds it’s locked shut.

Darn...Well, I guess it makes sense that it’s locked...

Guess that’s where this little guy comes in...

*Mikan reaches into her apron and pulls out a golden key.

I basically had to steal this from Sonia, but it was all for a good cause...I hope...

*She enters the door and walks into Sonia’s bedroom.

Wow...This really is a bedroom fit for a queen...

Alright...the secret door should be in here somewhere...

*Mikan suddenly spies a statue in the corner of the room.

Don’t exactly know who this guy is, but I’m willing to bet he’s got exactly what I need...

*She walks over to the statue and begins to examine it.

Aha!

*She presses a button. All of a sudden, the statue moves back into the wall, revealing a narrow secret passage behind it.

Well...looks like he was right...I’d never have known how to find it if I didn’t know where to look...

A very clever hiding place, I need to admit...

*Mikan squeezes through the passageway and follows it into a large chamber.

This is a pretty big room to have hidden away...

*The only thing of note in the chamber is a large, ironclad chest at the end of the tunnel. Mikan approaches it cautiously, then using the same key she used to break into the bedroom, unlocks the chest.

Guess this stuff is to help the royal family make good their escape...May as well grab it while I’m here...

*She reaches into the chest and pockets a dagger and some bullets into her apron.

And this...must be the family heirloom itself...

*She reaches and pulls out the only remaining thing in the box. A scepter with a smooth orb on top, almost glowing a forget-me-not blue color.

The Scepter of Tamuzan, huh? Very impressive...

Wait...hang on...didn’t Angie say that is was red?

...

...!?

Ah...I see...very clever Yonaga...Looks like she doesn’t trust me as much as she pretends...

???: Or maybe, she was just using you to find this place?

Huh!?

*Mikan whirls around, and is shocked to see Angie, Mikihiko, and several armed guards are standing at the other end of the tunnel.

So, what brings you down here then? Ms Mikan Tsumiki?

Oh, uh...just looking for something.

Hm...Something very special indeed. The Scepter of Tamuzan, if I’m not mistaken?

So it was hidden here all along...and hidden very well...Believe me, we searched long and hard for it...

I must admit Mikan, I find myself sitting on the line between disappointment and pleasure...To deceive the one’s you profess as your master or mistress is...most uncivil...

Heehee...I believe the saying goes “All’s fair in love and war” doesn’t it?

Indeed it is...I am so very glad not to have believed your lies for a single moment...

...You...traitorous pig...!

Mikihiko...

Everything you said to me...About how we were similar...About how we would defeat the Neverminds together...Was that all a lie!?

The stuff I said about serving Angie over Sonia...Yes, that was a lie...Everything else? I swear to you, I meant every word...

Tch...As if I have any reason to believe you now...!

It looks like you’ve really hurt my dear advisor Mikan...

Now, if you’d be so kind as to hand over the scepter.

I don’t think so. This belongs to the queen...!

I AM THE QUEEN!

NO YOU’RE NOT! Not yet! And I sure as hell wouldn’t answer to you even if you were! I only answer to MY Queen! Queen Nevermind!

If anything, you’re the only person in this whole equation who doesn’t deserve to be on that throne! Mikihiko deserves to rule this land more than you!

You speak of your pathetic monarchy...Though I hardly think you’re in any position to defy me right now...

Well, as someone who’s lived through and been a direct cause of the tragedy, I can think of at least 50 dozen worse fates and situations that this one right now...

Nyahaha! You are a very interesting specimen. To send a spy was most cunning of the queen though. I must confess, I did not expect Nevermind to be capable of such subterfuge...

Well, Sonia’s not about to poison her rivals or anything, but you’re forgetting that being the worlds greatest princess IS her Ultimate Talent.

And she doesn’t take too kindly to people overthrowing her from power and killing her family.

You refer to Lord Rufus yes? Well, to be honest, I did not have much a say in the matter. The plot went ahead without my say so...

Oh?

But still, I’d have had no objections to it...It had to be done...and I would have done it again in a heartbeat...

I’m sure you would...So tell me, what exactly is your end game here?

All I want, is to bring back a home I once lost...I want to remake the island where I was born; to remake Atua’s kingdom...And I will use Novoselic to do it.

Hm...Well, as far as villain motivations go...I’ve definitely seen worse...

But I’ve definitely seen better too...

I’ve had enough of this!

*Without a word of warning, Mikihiko snatches a crossbow off of one of the guards, aims it at Mikan and fires, causing the arrow to hit her dead in the shoulder!

AAGH!!

I am tired of listening to this woman...!

I say we kill her! Here and now!

...Hm...

Very well...Men! Forward! Show her no mercy!

*The guards start charging at Mikan, brandishing their weapons.

NRGH!

*Mikan, violently and defiantly yanks the arrow out of her shoulder, paying no mind to her blood loss or the pain. She then reaches into her apron and pulls out a strage looking device.

Here goes nothing!

*Mikan throws the device in the air and shuts her eyes tightly. The object suddenly explodes, revealing that it was actually a flashbang!

Guards: RAGH!

ACK!

YAHH!! M-My eyes!

*As soon as everyone is stunned, Mikan makes a mad dash for the exit, scepter still clutched tightly in her hand.

That’s that taken care of...Now there’s just one more thing to do!

[pavlikovskaya]

the secret history live blogged

forever mad that i got spoilered so much on this book.

anyway hello! and welcome to this … shit fest of the secret history by donna tartt aka the biggest letdown of my life

enjoy! i didn’t

ok whaatttt the fuck. he was walked over?? he was packed and squished under ice?? WHAT DID THIS BUNNY GUY DO TO MAKE Y’ALL SO MAD????? istg what the fuck. cruel cruel fate

four against one, i knew y’all were assholes. you sounded like assholes before i even knew what your names were.

i have to say, i’m not a very big fan on the beginning: hello, my name is richard, i am 28, this is my story. makes it sound like he’s in an AA meeting, but i’ll let this one slide.

years at home dispensable like a plastic cup? fictional history and upbringing tales? [*clears throat in relatable*]

my father was mean, my house ugly, my mum didn’t give me attention, must kill someone to cope and serve the aesthetic™ of rejected, unloved child, brooding and mad at the world. got it.

if richard, plain and poor is the one who kills the rich asshole bc he’s a rich asshole, i might relate to him more than i thought.

[*slams book shut*] okay. okay. am i gonna have to google every other phrase in this godforsaken history book or is donna gonna go easy on my ass?

sounds like a university i would love to go to. oh, pardon me, CoLlEgE.

wait, they’d pay him back for the plane if he GOT IN??? and if he didn’t well then what, soz dude, tough luck , such is life, see ya never? makes a lot of sense. should pay him back regardless imo but hey, i had to pay £50 six times to audition at universities who, all six times, rejected me, so.

three days on a bus and arrival at six in the morning? i cannot fathom a worse scenario.

this prof conducts his selection on a personal level rather than on an academic one, said with a note of sarcasm? is he … you know … ?

ahhhh these saucy saucy tea spilling french people, gotta love em. ‘listen, i know i’ve only met you three minutes ago, but i’m bout to spill some serious tea which i must ask you to keep to yourself and never mention for i have some formidable enemies in the literature division, yes, my very own department, but we all actually love each other. you know, in a very shakespearian ‘i shall murder you at the end of the play but for now, let’s make sweet love under the stars as a witch friend of mine who will later murder you watches’ way. all very platonic. but don’t say a word of it.’

who do you think was with morrow when richard came to see him in the lyceum and what were they talking about? GODDAMN IT, this french bastard put me in a gossipy mood.

bunny — short for edmund…….

god, i love a redhead.

richard and me being whipped by francis and his long, flapping black coats, love to see it.

‘pseudo-intellects and teenage decadents abounded and black clouting was de rigueur’ can I enrol ~now~????

francis talks to cats and bunny yells from his window down at the incest twins to stop snogging in the garden. i can’t wait to see which one am I at the end of the book

henry and julian driving off together? do i smell something…. gay?

THEY WRITE WITH FOUNTAIN PENS????? [*flashbacks from my childhood intensify*].

i do not understand most of these references or sentences and if the whole book is like this, i will throw myself out the window in attempted suicide even though i live on the ground floor.

i have absolutely no idea what they’re on about.

hwhat

francis in black cashmere and cigarette smoke brushed past him and almost touched his arm. how bloody delicious is this??

‘give him some flowers and he’ll enrol you.’ ok, julian is definitely the gay prof everyone falls for.

at this stage, i would rater have voted we kill henry, not bunny, but we’ll see.

‘i was tired of being poor.’ [*buys a tie with pictures of men hunting deer on it*] ‘that’s better.’

‘i believe that it is better to know one book intimately than a hundred superficially.’ donna tartt gave me the book and the reason both.

constantly chuckling at the way richard is so completely mesmerised and intimidated by francis to the point that he’ll duck into a doorway to let him pass even though they’re going to the same lesson.

I don’t know how a ‘bostonian voice’ is supposed to sound like so francis will be slightly british in my mind for the rest of the book.

cubitum eamus? cubitum. eamus? CUBITUM?? EAMUS????? OH! GOD! HELP ME! THE SWEET SWEET HOMOEROTIC FORESHADOWING OF IT ALL!!! throwback to when, in a much too similar vein, boris, upon being asked by theo to say something in russian for him, he said ‘fuck you up the ass’. my heart is racing with yearn. i can’t fucking believe i just read this. it’s time to bust out the annotation tabs again.

oh my gooooddd whAt is henry’s problem????? he reminds me slightly of number one from the umbrella academy, but in a meaner, more show-offy, bastardish way that’s supposed to showcase his superior intelligence over all mortals like fuck you, go read harry potter and chill.

‘meke (s.p.) you Wear it’? i take it meke is actually make but what on earth is (s.p.)? google gave me 238 possible definitions for that acronym and, needless to say, i didn’t bother.

i love how donna’s main characters are funny essentially bc they’re bitches towards other people they deem inferior to them in their internal monologues.

if you were drunk and ‘slam-dancing’ at a party, i don’t have to be stuck up or elitist to judge you and hate on you. even less so if you throw your beer in my face.

‘love that jacket, silk, isn’t it?’ ‘yep, my grandfather’s. totally not from that annoying girl in my dorm whose mate your mates beat up at a party last term for shoving camilla and throwing a beer in her face and who probably only gave me the jacket because she wants to fuck me, nope.’

‘let me get that door for you.’ that’s it, that’s the tweet.

when bunny said they should round up the ‘officious fags and burn them at the stake’ i yelled the loudest what the fuck i’ve ever yelled at a book. i can see now why they killed him. and i bet that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

okay, his true colours are starting to show. it’s even more unnerving when i think about the fact that like half of this stuff is supposed to be true.

called it, they’re boning.

i can’t wait until francis locks lips with richard. i am simply tingling for it. i hope he and camilla have a threesome with richard at this country house. oh wait no, they’re all here. eh, maybe another time.

oh, we finally get some juicy inside gossip

if francis and richard don’t fuck in that gorgeous immense library, i will riot.

okay, what’s henry’s deal? he’s nice now? and he’s oddly … interested in/caring towards richard? like who the fuck says ‘i hope you slept well’ without at least a little affection towards them.

AHAHAHAAHA, NOW I GET ALL THOSE MOON LANDING QUESTIONS ON THE TSH RELATED UQIZZES I STUPIDLY TOOK. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL. imagine them lot in present day completely bewildered and confused at the fact that the whole world is in lockdown for some weird fucking reason. this is the funniest shit ever, swear to god.

dogs get heart attacks?

wow they’re being dicks. that shady shit they’re doing’s so fucking rude aajksdhfkfh and to think i had initially thought richard was the ‘leader’ of their group...

okay, they’re either all into bdsm or they’re some odd breed of late vampires who don’t have much of the traits/qualities of ‘classic’ vampires as they have possibly diminished over the centuries as the species was becoming extinct. maybe witches. hm. or occultists. I REALLY DON’T KNOW!!

richard be like ‘what should I tell you?’ well—and this is merely a suggestion—, how about you start with what they’re actually doing when they’re not hanging out with you?????

i can’t wait for bunny to figure/find out richard’s not actually rich and be a dick about it.

two months??? what kind of bonkers winter vacation between terms is that???

is being constantly cold part of the dark academia aestehtic? cos it certainly seems to be.

what the fuck are these (sp)s bunny keeps putting in his letters??

i hope somebody (henry, or maybe francis? as something that would bring them together?) is fake rich too.

ouuuuu here comes the dark, mental stuff.

richard dropped out of drama to study the classics. if we were villains is a group of people studying shakespeare. coincidence? i think not. it is with dread that i think at the possibility that i might like the other more because so far, i can’t say i’m heavily impressed with tsh.

now i’m all for weird, fancy names, but marchbanks is really an odd one. who the fuck looks at their newborn baby and goes ben? nah. tom? no. MARCHBANKS! perfect.

henry winter saves richard from a piping cold winter. ah, don’t bother, i’ll do it myself [*jumps out the window*]

henry dislikes electric lights? smokes cigarettes without filter? reads milton translated into latin ‘just to see if a language with no noun cases could possibly support the structural order he attempts to impose’? can this dude be any more pretentious?

BUNNY! IT’S BUNNY! HE’S FAKE RICH THE BASTARD! ALL THAT ‘oops, forgot my wallet’ BULLSHIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS A TEST FOR RICHARD OR JUST RICH PEOPLE LEECHING OFF OTHERS (why spend yours when you can spend theirs?) BUT NOOOO, HE’S BROOOOKE! AND AN ASSHOLE! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!! serves him right, the asshole (that gay people being burnt at the stake comment really bothered me despite the fact that i laughed). and not only is he broke and leeching off of henry, he leeches in the most shameless, greedy, extravagant and ignorant way, ordering the most expensive thing on the menu fuck out of here.

ha! he got fat the bastard. found some sugar daddy to sustain you during your last month in italy or what?

this rabbit dude sure has some big balls for a broke ass bitch.

‘let me see your head wound.’ vs ‘your arm.’

‘that sort of tension which i, being rather more disinclined that way than not, am quick to pick up on. i had caught a strong breath of it from francis, a whiff of it at times from julian (…)’ sounds like we got another one boys, a straight dude with the best gaydar in the world. that being said, julian is the fakest bitch in the book so far.

this secrecy is killing the ever-loving shit out of me. argentina one way?? whY

lol if you’re gonna steal his book with the intention of having him come back to the apartment and see all that shit, at least don’t put it in such an obvious place where he couldn’t have possibly missed it. for such a smart guy, you sure are dumb, dude.

francis’ mother be like ‘give that bad boy a kiss from me’ and i’m like HE BETTER.

richard the worst liar. just say your mum called for fuck’s sake! you could get your boyfriend in trouble!

cheesecake cover: ‘please do not steal this, i am on financial aid.’ bunny: [*steals it*] the cheesecake: [*sucks*] me: serves you fucking right, pig.

THINKING ABOUT HIS HANDICAP. I’M YELLING. funniest thing donna tartt ever wrote.

i bet they’re all there sat at the table like nothing happened and weren’t supposed to leave anywhere at all.

called it! motherfuckers.

what the hell is going on. are they a gang of assassins or something?

richard: ‘you killed somebody, didn’t you?’ henry: [*laughs as if it was the most ridiculous idea in the world and how could you possibly suggest such a thing*] yep

bunny: gays are weirdly obsessed with food, don’t you think? also bunny: [*gets excluded from the bacchanal because he couldn’t stop eating*]

okay. i can see now why this book started the whole dark academia aesthetic

aight, that’s all good and great (far from it) but WHERE IS MY FRANCIS CONTENT????

going through the motions of hating and liking henry every other chapter.

everybody: [*burning clothes, cleaning the car, running this way and that to get rid of evidence*] francis: aight y’all imma take a power nap real quick cool? cool

there is hardly anything in the world i hate more than loose-of-tongues. bunny and that bitch ass hely from the little friend. god, i want to sock each and every single one of them in their stupid bloody loud mouths.

i want to know, i really want to know if there are any bunny apologists or … s…. s… [*grits teeth*] stans out there. don’t worry, nothing will happen to you, i just wanna talk.

if it’s henry and richard and not francis and richard,,,,, i will riot.

boy this henry guy smokes a lot…. more than me in my prime.

as if this dude reenacted the murder he wasn’t even present at in the lobby of a hotel just to torture henry. i can’t believe this character is still alive and has been for so long.

FINALLY! one francis moment that indicated there will be no more francis moments…. .

funny that, reading the secret history put something into perspective about the goldfinch for me.

i love how richard just casually throws it in there whenever he happens to mention camilla that he loves her and wants to kiss her and that she’s so beautiful and blah blah blah and then it’s never brought up again ever because he’s constantly going on and on about henry.

wait, don’t tell me it’s happening now, in the middle of the book! that would be most unexpected as there’s a whole entire book following.

henry is such a stone cold bitch, i wonder where they put his heart when they made him, in his ass?

don’t tell me henry went boxer dogs on JULIAN?!?!?! he wouldn’t. … would he?

i don’t know. i get it, obviously, the gravity of the situation, but going as far as killing him to silence him is a bit … extreme in my opinion.

thank you, charles, for being the only voice of reason in this madness.

okay, i understand it’s in richard’s best interest not to be involved, but they called him there to what, make him listen to all this and then send him on his merry way?

charles: well, if you wake up intending to murder someone at two o’clock, you hardly think of what you’re going to feed the copse for dinner. [*crickets*] francis: hey, how about asparagus?

henry: someone’s coming. quick! act normal! richard: [*turns to inspect the trunk of a tree*] [*footsteps approach*] richard: [*inspection of tree intensifies!!*]

you’re a bit late, bunny, just saying.

and now what the fuck is the rest of the book about? what do we do, let’s run, let’s stay, let’s go to the police, what do we do with him?

i love how richard describes himself as part of the process: we dwelt on it, we convinced ourselves, we devised plans when in reality, he was only there as an attaché, he wasn’t included much, almost at all in the actual planning process of it other than to give his insight on the poison route because henry thought it was his area of expertise so to speak when, really, it wasn’t and then was told about the other plan because they simply thought he should know. even then henry tells him ‘you can go now, if you like’ because there wasn’t anything they sort of needed him for anymore since he wasn’t going to be there, he was just a pair of ears. i like to think he was there in hopes to maybe dissuade them, try to stop them, tell them how mad it is, tell them there’s another way, but he didn’t do much of that either (not that I think he would’ve succeeded anyway, had he tried, henry’s one stubborn motherfucker). he didn’t come up with shit, he wasn’t supposed to even be there, i think, much less contribute in any way. had bunny not told him about the bacchanal, richard would have probably found out about it after it was already done, he was only included for the fucks of it and yet, he talks as if he was right there in the room with them, brainstorming ideas how to kill him. and i get how it only comes from a sense of obvious guilt because he knew about it, he was there and didn’t do anything to stop it, but he’s by far not one to have agreed to the whole thing or condoned it in any way from what he’s told us in book one. he himself says in the very same paragraph that he only watched. he’s very much a dark academia nick carraway type of character and i hate it. because i like him. he deserves better.

i’m pretty sure that the reason that serial killer autobiography you picked up in an airport was bereft of details is because no publishing house would allow such lurid specifications that might shock, disgust, enrage or give ideas to the reader in their book, not because the author is shy, richard, but ok, let’s move on. actually no, let’s not. you can’t expect the autobiography of a killer to only tell you about the murders, especially since in this particular instance, he was caught and went to prison. of course he’s going to tell you more about that than the killings, have you any idea what prison life is like? how much it eats away at your soul? how it crushes your spirit if you have one and how hard it is to get over? the time he spent in jail is going to haunt him forever and after such a long time in there, however long it was, you hardly think about your crime as anything but a huge mistake that was not worth the torment if you’re not a downright psychopath which, since he came out and wrote a book about it, doesn’t seem to be the case here but i guess you’ll find out all about it soon enough.

OH! a francis moment???? could this be it? please dear god may this be it.

it wasn’t, but there’s another one!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

‘it’s fun, i promise you.’ [*dies*]

if this is it, if that’s all, i am not forgiving this book.

‘i tried to pull him out but it was no good; his head lolled back uselessly’ YEAH. BECAUSE HE’S DEAD, RICHARD. [*scoffs*] ‘uselessly’

i wish i held any of my teachers and professors in at least half the high regard henry holds julian. i also wish they were half as competent and passionate about teaching as julian.

I DON’T BELIEVE ‘HE WAS JUST THERE’. IT’S BORIS AND THEO AT 6 AM IN THAT NEW YORK BAR ALL OVER AGAIN. HE’S ONLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE RICHARD WENT ALL ‘YOU’RE NOT HOT’ ON HIS ASS AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE. if they don’t kiss again—

i can’t help but admire the way they communicate sensitive information to each other in ancient greek, they sound like characters from jane austen novels while talking about drugs and saving face from tabloids and gossip, it’s rather amazing.

quite pointless to go through all that trouble to hide the cigarettes and deny having been smoking when the smell will be there no matter what and she’ll know for sure. i swear, all these seemingly smart ass people are actually idiots

my question is why would anyone, drunk or not, for any reason, leave the top down in the rain? why? what possible pleasure could one get from driving in the middle of the rain with rain actually pouring down on them?

isn’t linoleum a bit tacky for a house that looks like it’s been in architectural digest?

why is charles so on edge? why are they all always hiding??? camilla and her late night 3 am phone calls, her secret phone code with henry, charles mysteriously going out for cigarettes so brusquely without a word in the middle of the night and refusing to talk about it, what are they all always hiding?! nobody trusts one another with anything, it’s very annoying, to be honest. aren’t they supposed to be super best friends? you’d think that after a bacchanal and a double homicide, you wouldn’t keep secrets from one another, but i guess not.

ah, shame. was kind of hoping for some sneaky richard/francis basement action, but alas. what’s their ship name anyway, richis?

i just spoilered myself again, twice, by going through the tsh tag on tumblr and then looking for francis/richard fanfics on ao3 and finding out that francis marries? gets with? a girl who’s apparently called fucking priscilla. donna tartt really has a knack for weird fancy names, huh? i’m here for it tbh

richard you fucking snitch! you had one job!!!!!!

why the fuck are they still keeping him in the dark about shit? henry and charles quarrelled and charles is in jail and henry still won’t tell him what’s so bad about it and why he wants richard to handle all this shit instead of him and why bunny’s murder still matters and why why just why are they still using him as their pawn??

seriously, this exchange was about the worst they’ve had so far. he himself knows it: ‘there was a silence during which I felt acutely the hopelessness of ever trying to get to the bottom of anything with henry. he was like a propagandist, routinely withholding information, leaking it only when it served his purposes.’ THEN WALK AWAY. SAY NO. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. FUCKING—UGH!!!!!!!

they’re all so shamelessly using him… i can’t read. it’ll kill him, one way or another.

these ungrateful little shits i swear to god. richard bails him out, he’s all thankful and sweet when he wants him to do ‘this one little favour’ of taking him to his francis’ house so he can break in and when richard’s like i don’t have a car, he immediately turns sour and passive aggressive like you know what?! richard hasn’t slept all night and all morning waiting for your ass to go to court cos you were a drunken idiot and decided YET AGAIN that driving in that state is a great idea so he can bail you out and when you are finally out, you start being fussy and then it’s all ‘right. thanks a lot’??? richard doesn’t fucking need this shit! y’all are horrible friends. he’s not your bloody servant. how about you take that stick and privilege out of your asses and start treating him a bit more kindly, huh???

‘henry made me swear not to tell.’ WHAT. WHAT. BITCH, GET THE FUCK OUT.

this is by far the most toxic friendship i’ve ever heard of.

oh wow that kiss was hot. i thought it was just a speculation that they were incestuous with each other, but i-i guess not.

FINALLY it gets interesting. Mr Abernathy spilling some piping hot tea mmm

he literally just said i’d sleep with you if you got drunk enough to let me. oh dear god help me.

oh fuck it got sad. It’s patrick and brad all over again ugh always happens to the best of gays

finally richard my boy starts hating them, as he should. except francis, you’re a dick in that respect. he’s only joking for fuck’s sake, don’t get all butthurt, jesus. sensitive much?

uuuuuu tunts Tunts TUNTS! shit is hitting the fan. henry, henry, henry, our ‘golden boy’. nothing but a crook himself, the motherfucker. i’ve been waiting for this reveal since the beginning of the fucking book. if they gang up on him and kill him, i will never stop laughing.

it’s as if he’s begging to be excluded and hated, i swear. why is he being such a prick? does he love her? is that it? then there are a BILLION other ways to go about it, he doesn’t have to be such a shady bitch!! besides, wasn’t he in cahoots with julian?

‘i was depressed, i thought if i slept here it might make me feel better.’ that’s so precious tho….. funny, but precious. such child-like innocence in this grown ass intoxicated man, i melt.

clever, luring him out of the playground under the false pretext of a drink when he’s had plenty. think like a drunk

the only consistent, recurring and ever-present elements in donna tartt’s books are the hors d’oeuvres.

it’s so cute how charles needs him, i—

girls be like: watching a film, listening to a podcast, talking on the phone, having dinner, figure painting, filing nails, writing an essay and doing their makeup all at the same time

this so called love he feels for camilla is so unfounded and feeble and just … it seems so out of the fucking blue every single time he mentions it, i can’t read this shit. IT’S SO SEE-THROUGH!!

okay WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. WHAT. THE ACTUAL. MOTHERFUCKING. FUCK. one second he’s ‘i love her so much’ the next he wants to strangle and rape her?????????????? i have zero goddamn words. i am fucking speechless. i don’t think i have ever been this confused at something since i watched the turning. i don’t think you realise quite how done i am with this fucking book at this point.

i think i do hate henry more than bunny and i’m afraid i’ll like if we were villains better.

richard: [*takes sleeping pills*] also richard: [*surprised he can’t keep up with the film he started watching after taking sleeping pills*]

‘look,’ said francis. ‘let’s just go, if we leave now we can be in montreal by dark. nobody will ever find us.’ vs ‘well, i’m not going,’ said boris serenely. ‘fuck that, i’m running away. do you want to come?’

this henry bitch is the most difficult piece of shit i’ve ever fucking encountered. ‘you mean, it’s something you need to tell me in private?’ oh FUCK OFF AND STEP OUTSIDE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. IT’S ONE THING I ASK OF YOU, YOU TWAT.

huh, i thought he was doing this shit on purpose, leaving the page face down on the table so that julian could see it, i thought it was some sick twisted plan of his.

lmao called it. everybody saw through julian’s façade except richard and the others and i completely understand. in a fashion much like julian’s, i think he knew that, he saw it, but just chose to ignore it because the image he posed and richard himself constructed of him in his mind was much more favourable to what he really was. i mean, fuck, who the fuck says ‘i hope we are all ready to leave the phenomenal world and enter into the sublime’ with their whole chest and mean it?

if you think he’s not coming, why sit in silence staring out the window, ignoring everyone and wasting everybody’s time instead of telling them from the very start this piece of information you have on hand that could save everybody a lot of trouble, time and overthinking? why be all mysterious and enigmatic about it? just tell them from the start, you’re not in a film for fuck’s sake……..

charles, one of the four of them (henry, camilla, julian and himself) might be the one i despise the least, almost like had he not been so brutal towards camilla,,,, but i don’t know if i can trust her, that whole scene seemed … staged somehow. i don’t know. i don’t know

didn’t expect henry would turn on julian too though. first real thing he’s done all book.

agatha

christie

writes

good

mysteries.

richard does seem like the type of fellow who would grow up in a household where his dad would strike his mum for no fucking reason.

okay so did henry punch him for that comment or not? what was all that father beating mother bit for?

#boysweekendinthecountry! 🤪 #partytime! #ignoringourproblems! #woooo!!!

oh my fucking god chARLES!!!

yes, henry, great, brilliant, fucking splendid idea to antagonise the man pointing a gun at you.

MY PAUL SMITH SHIRT!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHASFSHDGFDK

i love how absolutely nobody noticed fucking richard BLEEDING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM

‘expected everyone to stop and look at me. no one did.’ and they never will. that’s your whole friendship summed up in two lines. you don’t matter to them, you never did, you’re absolutely unimportant. just a tool, a pawn, a nobody. sorry you had to get shot to realise that.

‘’he shot me.’ somehow, this remark did not elicit the dramatic response i expected. before i had the chance to elaborate—’ ELABORATE WHAT? ELABORATE WHAT?! THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO SAY!! GOD, this hurts to read. this angers me beyond words, but it also fucking hurts so bad…

nothing, not even getting shot can make richard lose his wit

disGUSTING henry and camilla moment. I HATE THEM

oh shit. did not see that coming. well, glad that’s over.

ugh, time to read how francis got hetero married :\

[*chokes*] DUE TO THE VERY EXCELLENT EXCUSE OF HAVING A GUNSHOT WOUND IN THE STOMACH I DIDN’T TAKE MY FRENCH EXAM YAY!!! god, i fucking love Richard.

the thing is, right, i read that line, ‘i managed to get out of taking my french exams the next week’ about three or four times and somehow, the following line or even the words ‘gunshot wound’ never made it to my eyes! i don’t understand how! but i’m completely happy about that given the fact that i spoiler myself on every single book i read by reading ahead like an idiot..

how much do you want to bet that it was the inn keep who called the ambulance and not those fuckers? because of course henry, dead henry’s more important than slowly dying, almost dead but not quite richard.

despite everything, it sounds like he had a nice summer in brooklyn. good for him. god knows he deserved it, the poor guy.

yeah no, fuck henry’s post-mortem hero narrrative.

lol, at least he got a nice car out of it. this book shows me once again that things happen just the way they should happen.

OH MY FUCKING GOD NO. NO. NO. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT READ. I DO NOT SEE. I REFUSE TO COMPREHEND THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION.

i will not say a WORD on this, much less his letter. i am hurt, i am wounded, i am grieving, my head is full of thots and i cannot speak. i died on this bed.

ugh [*rolls eyes*] this fucking guy again with his sudden, out of my ass declarations of love towards camilla. JUST GIVE IT UP ALREADYYYYYYYY!!! TELL IT TO SOMEONE WHO CARES!!! (francis) i wouldn’t be surprised if she was married or engaged and just didn’t bother to mention it ‘because he never asked’ or some bullshit excuse like that.

I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY [*deep breath*] I FUCKING HATE HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s telling me about all these people and where they ended up after graduation but not only do i not give a single solitary fuck, i actually don’t know who the fuck he’s talking about?? like who the fuck is bram guernesnesnica? rooney wayne? what the fuck do i care what jack jud and frank did?

the only people i do remotely care about are the professors (the saucy french teacher and the boring, senile dude who wouldn’t shut up and who kept referring to richard as ‘jerry’ in his grad school recommendations letter ahahah that is the content i signed up for, not dumb and dumber’s bar or whatever) and the cat charles left at francis’ country house who lives in a ten fucking room apartment in boston.

love how ionic the whole marion storyline turned out to be. marred another corcoran who looked just like bunny and had a daughter who, despite having her and his mother’s name ended up being nicknamed also bunny. i’m sorry, i just—i have to laugh.

[*slams fists on the table*] THE AGENTS??? YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME ABOUT THE BLOODY FBI AGENTS???!!!!!! CAN THIS BOOK PLEASE JUST FUCKING END ALREADY??????!!!!!!!!

a dream. a dream. if it’s a dream of henry i will personally shoot you and make sure i aim a little higher than your abdomen this time.

[*shoots the book*]

oh, you died and suddenly you have a sense of humour?

‘that information is classified’ [*shoots a torpedo at the book*]

‘are you happy?’ / ‘not very.’ vs ‘are you happy here?’ / ‘not particularly.’

okay. so. final thoughts: fuck this book.

good night

[foreverreadingbeautifulbooks]

Jonsa Fic Recs: Season 7 and 8 Fix-It Fics

So I started to make a rec post per a lovely anon request and honestly I couldn’t stop once I got started (my love for these fics knows no bounds and I ranted about each of them in italics below). There are so many talented writers in this fandom and tons of them have poured so much time and energy into writing such amazing fics that I wish they’d been given the reins to write the ending of the show. I tried to arrange all my recs below the cut in order of when they diverge from canon. Enjoy these fics and be sure to give these authors all some love cause they deserve so much of it! <3 

wolf, circle north by MissFaber

   Rating: Explicit      Word Count: 130,532

    Canon Compliant through: 6x10

Summary: Sansa and Jon fought to take Winterfell, now they will fight to keep it— against a dead army and their king, a dragon queen, a lioness, and a schemer with a poison tongue.  + an alternate season 7 & season 8

I just found this fic a few days ago and even though I’m not entirely caught up yet, I had to add it to the list because I am already in love! Every interaction between Jon and Sansa is so in character and so well-written. The slow burn is already killing me and I need more of it immediately. 

and no net ensnares me by @athimbleful

    Rating: Explicit      Word Count: 130,532

    Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: Since Jon left, Sansa has struggled to keep things together and she longs for his return. However, when he does return things only become worse. Jon learns about his parentage and doesn't know how to make sense of anything, how to fix the inevitable mess the reveal will create, or how to protect the people he loves. But at least, after all these years, the pack is finally back together. Then, one day, Sansa disappears. Post season 7 fic.

I adore this fic so much!  Seriously, I pulled an all-nighter when I found this fic because as soon as I started reading it I couldn’t put it down! It’s that good! The plot is incredible  the characterizations are great, the endings of the villains work perfectly in the story, all the Starks are so smart and actually use the abilities they’ve spent seasons gaining, and the ending is perfect! (I mean every fic by @athimbleful is amazing, but this one in particular is probably my favorite because I found it right when I was feeling down about the S8 finale and it helped remind me why I love Game of Thrones and Jonsa so incredibly much!) 

they tumble down by @athimbleful

    Rating: Explicit     Word Count: 165,196     

    Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: He meets her gaze for the shortest moment before turning to look out over the woods, gesturing at it with a gloved hand. “Is this why you brought me here? To talk about memories?” 

“No. I wanted to talk about marriage.”

When Sansa suggests it's time for her and Jon to marry, she means they should make marriage alliances with the other Northern houses. Jon, though, assumes she means they should marry each other.

A post s7 story where Jon and Sansa struggle to navigate their new political landscape while suppressing their feelings for one another, Arya does everything in her power to protect her pack, and Bran and Sam try to figure out how to kill the Night King.

This fic is amazing. I adore the plot of the fic and I always love a good Arranged Marriage AU. But I love this one in particular because Jon and Sansa are so soft with each other and it just melts me every time!  <3

what do you want (that you do not have) by @athimbleful

   Rating: Teen     Current Word Count: 80,865

    Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: When the Winterfellians learn that Cersei has hired men to kidnap Sansa, they decide that Sansa needs to run away and Jon volunteers to protect her. During their travels the tension builds between them--especially after Jon suffers an injury and they're taken in by an older couple. Because, in hopes of protecting their identities, Jon and Sansa have to pretend to be happily married and in love. Every day. In close quarters. For quite some time.

Takes place after the war against the NK is won. Not a kidnapping fic.

I love every second of this incredible fic, even when it hurts how in love both Jon and Sansa are with each other when neither believes the other could love them back. Fair warning that the slow burn is ssslllooowww (thimbleful is literally the queen of the slow burn) and every painful second of it is amazing! The result of this author’s fics are always so satisfying and I hope you all love it as much as I do!

A Heart That Offends by @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth

    Rating: Mature     Word Count: 44,583       Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: Jon comes home. Unfortunately, he brings Daenerys with him. The Northerners are furious, Arya can hardly look at him, Bran needs to tell him something important, and Sansa -- well, Sansa is haunting Jon's every thought. Just another post-S7 fic.

As with everything this author writes, this fic is so satisfying in the best possible way! All the characters are so beautifully written and the conversations and fights between Jon and Sansa are absolute perfection! Lyanna Mormont and Arya are both incredibly badass and the politics are amazing! I loved every second of reading it!

we are buried in broken dreams by annabeth_writes

    Rating: Explicit   Current Word Count: 49,373     Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 7x07

Summary: Sansa and Jon sleeping together before he goes to Dragonstone and when he comes back he finds out she is pregnant.

A full on s8 fix-it fic at this point.

This fic is so full of Jonsa feels that it makes you want to burst. Pregnant Sansa is so brave and amazing. I adored watching her find out everything she could about Daenerys and then use that information to her advantage. The fic is very well-written so enjoy if you check this one out! 

victory is in my veins (oh ye of so little faith) by LadyAlice101

    Rating: Explicit   Current Word Count: 131,955     Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 7x07

Summary: “Jon,” Sansa says quietly, her hands twisting together in front of her. “Tell me the truth. Do you love her?”

He starts, eyes widening. “Love her?”

That’s all the confirmation she needs, but Jon rushes onward, stepping closer to her, hands outstretched and voice nervous, reassuring, as if he were a husband swearing to his wife that he loves only her. 

“Sansa, no, no, gods, after this, I hope I never have to see her again.”

// 

The Season 8 we deserved. (and that the characters deserved) (yeah i'll die mad about s8, sue me)

This fic was fabulous. It was genuinely so satisfying to read something with a better plot for the Starks (who actually talk to each other, what a concept?!) for every single episode of Season 8. (Seriously, any good therapist will recommend this as a cleanse for your soul! lol) 

At Dawn We Break, At Dusk We Stand by misspensandscribbles

    Rating: Mature    Word Count: 55,758      Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: "Forgive me," he tells her, his voice is almost inaudible but there is no mistaking the pleading in his tone. He must only fall to his knees before her, and then he'll be no different from the slaves and beggars she had seen in King's Landing.

"For what, your Grace?" she asks, her voice cold and detached. She sees him wince as though her words have cut through his skin, yet she remains unmoved. She cannot afford to let herself feel now.

He doesn't answer her question. Instead, he offers an explanation. "I couldn't allow the North to go through yet another war, Sansa, especially not one against dragons."

Oh my gosh, this fic! I’m in love with the plot and Sansa is so brilliant and badass throughout every second. The politics are to die for and the tension between Jon and Sansa is sssoooo intense. Also, I am also always a fan of Jaime Lannister as the sworn sword to Sansa and I adore their relationship in this fic!

oh you fool, there are rules (the reckoning begins) by by @cat-stark​

    Rating: Mature    Current Word Count: 39,051     Canon Compliant through: 6x08 

Summary:For some reason, it’s Theon Greyjoy’s voice in Rickon's head as he begins to run. “If you ever find yourself on the wrong end of a bow, don’t run straight.”

- or - 

Baelish bastard. Lady Lannister. Lady Bolton. All names for one woman, the caged wolf who had learned how to play the game better than anyone. She would win the game for her family. She would do her duty to her king and country. 

Never let it be said the daughter of Eddard Stark was without honor.

I adore literally everything about this fic. The plot is amazing and the characters have been written so beautifully. The author has managed to perfectly capture Sansa’s headspace, which is incredible to read. It’s been absolutely heartbreaking to watch her deal with some of the situations handed to her, but she does it with such love, grace, and political acumen that I can’t get enough of it.  Please note that this is a complete Season 8 rewrite that has major departures from Season 7 and a few from Season 6. 

To Be In Your Arms Again by ScullyLikesScience

   Rating: Mature    Current Word Count: 43,500    Canon Compliant through: 8x03

Summary: Jon goes south to help Daenerys win the Iron Throne. Sansa goes south to save him.

"In winter, I plot and plan. In spring, I move." ~ Henry Rollins

It’s amazing just how much the Starks communicating with each other makes me happy in fics now, but this fic has them working together very well and I loved it! I also truly enjoyed the political conclusion of this fic. 

The Triumph of Winter by @foreverreadingbeautifulbooks

    Rating: Mature    Current Word Count: 28,754     Canon Compliant through: 8x05

Summary: Jon's heart constricted at the thought of his Sansa standing proud and defiant as dragonflames consumed her. “How could you do that?” he yelled. “How could you think that your death was an acceptable outcome?” 

“You hypocrite!” she responded, throwing the accusation in his face as she stepped in closer, chest heaving in time with his own. “As if you hadn’t used your own life as a bargaining chip to save the North - to save our family. I can play the same game, Jon. I’ve watched too many members of my family die for me to surrender you to the flames, not when I might be able to save your life with mine! Not- ”

“Sansa!” Jon cut her off, aghast at her words as he stepped in and gripped her arms. “Your life is far more important than mine could ever be.”

She met his eyes defiantly, a fury contained in them that ignited his bones. “Not to me.”

- or -

The political landscape has changed in the aftermath of Daenerys Targaryen's decimation of King's Landing. As the wolves and the dragons prepare for another battle, the realm can only hold its breath and wonder who will win the Game of Thrones after this.

I hope it’s not too presumptuous to add my own fic to this list as I’m having so much fun writing my own Season 8 fix-it fic. This is my attempt to answer all the questions I was left with at the end of the season as most were never addressed. It’s filled to the brim with Stark sibling moments, Pol!Jon, friendships, political intrigue, magic, and, of course, Jonsa.  

Brave, Gentle, and Strong by @the-last-of-the-starks

    Rating: Not Rated    Current Word Count: 12,991       Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 8x05

Summary: Jon and Arya return to Winterfell proceeding the sack of King's Landing to help rebuild their childhood home and a fallen Westeros. But will Jon and Sansa be able to rebuild their trust in one another and finally reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or will those secrets tear them apart forever?

This fic is lovely and so far it’s been really interesting to get inside Jon and Sansa’s heads as they contemplate their relationship and everything that’s happened to them since they were first separated when Jon left for Dragonstone. As with many fics, I want to lock the two of them in a closet and not let them out till they talk to each other! I’m looking forward to more updates for this fic whenever they’re posted. 

there is a crack, a crack in everything (that’s how the light gets in) by sansaswildlinglover

    Rating: Not Rated    Current Word Count: 12,991       Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 8x05

Summary: When King's Landing falls, Sansa marches south, still unaware that the future of the Seven Kingdoms lies in her hands, and that the peace she will broker comes with a price...

Sansa finds herself back in Winterfell, separated from her family by distance, duty and yet another secret, raising another bastard child as she rebuilds herself, the castle and the North.

Jon heals in the True North, finding his own worth again, and discovering that even after being lost, he can find purpose in his own heart and mind again, even burdened by the crippling guilt and resentment which will take him many years to learn how to carry and let go.

Ten years is a long time, but they say time heals all wounds. But what if time only adds more complications? Winter is always coming, and even family, duty and honour are at odds sometimes.

This one is currently on hiatus, but I am looking forward to when it comes back because so far the characterizations are really good and I absolutely adore the premise of Sansa raising a Lannister bastard in Winterfell! 

Dear Jon by @sansa-in-the-north

    Rating: Not Rated    Current Word Count: 12,053         Canon Compliant through: 8x06

Summary: Sansa drops the quill onto the wooden table carved with the leaves of the heart-tree and leans back in her chair, letting out a loud, exasperated sigh. “Why do I struggle to find the words?”

Her sister’s grey eyes study her face attentively for a heartbeat. “Perhaps you don’t know what to say.”

“I do,” Sansa states without hesitation. “I know what to say.”

“But?”

Sansa shrugs, the thick grey furs draped over her shoulders rising and falling. “I don’t know if he’d like to hear from me.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

[…]

Jon rises from his seat and folds the letter, holding it tight in his hand, and strides towards the exit doors of the common hall. He looks for some parchment and a quill, and when he finds everything he needs, he takes a deep sigh and prays that his words do not fail him. She apologised, but I’m the one who should ask for forgiveness.

***

Post s8 (partially) epistolary fic in which Sansa and Jon begin exchanging letters to find comfort, solace and, eventually, forgiveness.

This fic is exactly what I hoped it would be when I found a link to it. The letters are sweet and sad and it’s good to see my darling Starks reaching out to each other after everything they’ve been through. 

all that's left are your bones by @cat-stark

    Rating: Not Rated    Current Word Count: 26,214          Canon Compliant through: 8x05 and part of 8x06

Summary: A raven flies North.The King of Westeros has need of a Stark once more.

- or - 

A reluctant king must learn to rule.

Jon is such an angry version of himself, but it works so well in this fic where he has been forced to rule a country he never even wanted to reside in. The position and his own resentments have slowly been eating away at his soul and I’m so excited to see where the fic goes next with his character. Sansa is such an amazing queen and it is lovely to see her conducting herself with such grace and dignity no matter what is thrown at her. 

wolves without teeth by @cat-stark​

   Rating: Not Rated    Current Word Count: 55,329        Canon Compliant through: 8x06

Summary: It was a common saying in the North, in the endless stretch of years following the Long Night, and the after. The pack survives, whispered the North. A time for wolves will come again. Not like this, Sansa thought desperately.

- or -

Five years after the destruction of King's Landing, Starks emerge from the godswood of Winterfell. Starks who should be dead.

This genuinely might be my favorite Jonsa fic ever. I adore the way my favorite characters get a chance to confront their family members on the ways that they’ve been hurt by them. It features all of the Starks that have been lost throughout the show and it’s lovely to see them again even as they struggle to make sense of the situation that they’ve found themselves in. The characters are all perfectly written and I’ve adored every interaction that each of them has had.

Check out more of my Jonsa fic rec lists here!