#voluntarily choosing not to speak to them for the rest of the day

[wheeboo]

three silly little words | yoon jeonghan

SYNOPSIS. the three times you and jeonghan wanted to confess those three silly little words for each other, and the one time you do. PAIRING. jeonghan x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, slightly suggestive at the end, established relationship WARNINGS. kissing, i have a thing with jeonghan w neck kisses, terms of endearment, jeonghan is just so whipped for you like, you both are a lil drunk n cute n v much in love at the end WORD COUNT. 2.6k

notes: happy birthday to our beloved angel!

ONE.

The first time was so sudden. The moment was just so mundane, simple, just so miniscule, but Jeonghan knows that it doesn't make much for him to feel so weak for you.

How can he not feel that way when the first thing he sees when he wakes up is you stepping out of his bathroom, hair wet from a shower, clad in one of his shirts that you must have stolen from his closet beforehand? The two of you aren't officially living together yet, and it's only the second time you've slept over and stayed the night at his place voluntarily, yet Jeonghan feels his heart take a giant leap in his chest, even through his half-asleep brain and the grogginess of just waking up.

Once you catch sight of his eyes, you feel your cheeks flush, and you playfully tug at the collar of the (his) oversized shirt you're wearing, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious under his gaze.

"Why... Why are you looking at me like that?" You ask.

Jeonghan just tilts his head slightly, face softening. "Like what?"

You roll your eyes playfully, placing yourself down next to him on the bed. "You know what I mean."

"I don't, actually, would you care to explain to me?"

You let out a small laugh as you scoot closer to Jeonghan, your hand finding its way to his cheek, brushing away a stray lock of hair from his face. And when your hand rests rightfully on his face, Jeonghan leans into your touch, closing his eyes momentarily as he relishes the feeling of your hand against his skin. The morning sun casts a warm glow across the room as you feel his fingers trace delicate patterns on the back of your hand.

And in that moment, there's a sudden realisation that bursts within your chests. It's loud, almost raging, even in the quietness that lingers this early in the morning. You both exchange a knowing look with each other𑁋there's a vulnerability there, a hint of recognition. But neither of you dares to vocalise it. Not right now, at least. You both have danced around the feeling for so long that the hesitation has grown considerably.

It doesn't take long for a coy smile to etch across Jeonghan's features, before reaching out to pull you down onto the bed with him. You laugh as you tumble into his arms, and he wraps them around you, keeping you close to him as much as possible.

Then his lips, soft as a sigh, presses a kiss to the top of your head, a sweet delicate caress of affection.

You both choose to stay silent.

TWO.

The second time was when you had came down with a cold one day, and you found yourself drowned in a nest of blankets and pillows that Jeonghan had arranged for you on your bed. It was a miserable day for you, with a stuffy nose, a pounding headache, and you could barely speak without your voice cracking. But even with this, he still continues to dote you, care after you, even taking the day off of work to watch over you.

"You don't have to do all this, you know," You mumble, throat scratchy from all the coughing.

All he does is gaze at you with that tender look and faint smile that doesn't waver, even in the face of your stupid cold and absurd bedhead. Jeonghan reaches over and places a gentle hand on your forehead, his touch cool and comforting.

"I know, but I want to, angel," he tells you. "Taking care of you is the least I can do."

You smile weakly at his words, your heart melting at the endearment he uses𑁋it's his favourite one to use for you, he's told you (and there's many other things he wants to call you too, even something as ridiculous as schnookums or as intimate as simply love, my love). You remember the way he first said it, almost shyly and unsure like he was revealing a secret, and how it made your heart skip a beat and how it made his own swell out of his chest.

"Let me go check on your soup, okay? I'll be back." You give him a nod as he stands up to leave you in the comfort of your bedroom for a few minutes, giving you the chance to let out some low coughs that itches the back of your throat uncomfortably.

He emerges back into the room with a steaming bowl of soup, and the aroma instantly fills the room, making your mouth water. Jeonghan carefully places the bowl on the bedside table and adjusts the pillows to help you sit up a bit.

"It's homemade chicken soup, just the way you like it." He hands you the bowl, and you take another waft, already feeling its soothing effects on your irritated throat and congested sinuses. He definitely did not text your mother beforehand, but the soup smells just as good as hers, if not better.

Jeonghan watches you with a soft, adoring gaze as you take your first cautious spoonful, ensuring you're comfortable and not struggling too much. The flavours of home relish on your tongue, eyes widening up to him as you take another sip, and another, and another.

"Gosh, you're an angel," You rasp out, voice still a bit rough.

Jeonghan chuckles softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your forehead. "You're the real angel here," he replies, eyes filled with affection. "Gotta make you feel better so your pretty smile can brighten up my day again."

You can't help but blush at his sweet words, even though your cheeks are already flushed from the fever. As you continue to eat, he stays by your side, occasionally offering you sips of water and making sure you have everything you need. The combination of his care and the delicious soup begins to work its magic, and you can feel your energy returning, even if it's just a tiny percentage.

And when you finish the last spoonful, he helps you set the bowl aside as you lay back down in the comfort of your bed, letting out a satisfied sigh. His eyes remain on you for a bit, and you can tell he's about to say something𑁋the thought makes your heart race.

"I'll let you rest now, okay?" There's a slight tickle to your chest that had made you anticipate for something else, but all you do is give a nod. "Call me if you need anything. I'll be in the living room."

"Okay," You respond, watching as he picks up the empty soup bowl from your bedside table before beginning to make his way to your bedroom door. But just as he's about to leave, you call out impulsively, "Hannie?"

Jeonghan pauses, looking back at you curiously, and a bit worriedly.

Your heart flutters in your chest as you lock eyes with him, and for a moment, you contemplate telling him those three little words that you've been holding onto for so long. You can feel them hanging at the tip of your tongue. You want to tell him how much he means to you, but as you look into his eyes, you hesitate. Maybe it's the fever or the vulnerability from your cold, but you can't bring yourself to say it just yet.

Instead, you offer a shy smile and say, "Thank you... for taking care of me."

He smiles softly.

"You don't have to thank me, angel," he replies. "I enjoy taking care of you."

And with that, he leaves the room, and you watch as he disappears from sight, your heart still pounding in your chest.

THREE.

The third time was just... rudely interrupted. The two of you had taken a weekend trip to the beach, craving for some time away from the bustle of everyday life. The sun was warm, the skies a beautiful clear blue, the sand beneath your toes was soft, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was nothing short of a peaceful.

You and Jeonghan found yourselves strolling along the shoreline, hand in hand, leaving footprints in the wet sand. The wind tousled your hair, the fresh scent of the sea air filling your lungs, and you couldn't help but feel utterly content.

Jeonghan shoots a few glances toward you, the sunlight playing on your features casting a gentle, golden glow on your face. He admires the way your hair dances in the breeze and the way your eyes seem to sparkle with the reflection of the sea. In that moment, you appear nothing short of ethereal that leaves him completely spellbound. You just look so beautiful and he makes it a promise to tell you that for as long as he can.

You steal a glance at him as well, the sun kissing upon his face, noticing how he's lost in thought, with his free hand tucked into his pocket and his expression pensive.

"You okay?" You ask him, letting a thumb caress gently at his hand.

Jeonghan's gaze shifts from the horizon to you, your voice snapping him out of his reverie, and he offers a faint smile. He squeezes your hand in response, appreciating your touch and the concern in your eyes.

"More than okay," he assures you warmly. "Just taking everything in. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

You nod in agreement, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips. The scenery is undeniably breathtaking, but it pales in comparison to the way he looks at you, and the way he holds your hand as if it's the most precious thing in the world.

And little did you know, the two of you were thinking just how perfect this setting is. It's ideal, romantic, just enough to set the backdrop to the three little words you've been wanting to say each other for the longest time. When the two of you take a moment to stop and pause to overlook the calm ocean waters together, Jeonghan turns to face you.

"Y/N, I..." He pauses, before continuing, "You know that I𑁋"

But just as he's about to finish his sentence, a seagull swoops down suddenly, interrupting the moment with a loud and unexpected squawk. It starts the two of you simultaneously, and you let out a surprised yelp before turning your attention to the noisy bird that had landed on the sand nearby.

The seagull stares at both of you with its beady eyes, seemingly unapologetic for the interruption. You and Jeonghan both exchange a puzzled look with each other, trying to suppress your laughter together.

"Sorry, what were you going to say?" You ask him.

Jeonghan's lips purse together, glancing between you and the noisy bird waddling it's way towards you. He lets out a sigh.

"I'll... tell you later, don't worry about it," he reassures you.

Then the seagull squawks again, as if offering its commentary on your conversation. You and Jeonghan burst into laughter, unable to contain it any longer. As if sensing it had done its part, the seagull finally takes flight, soaring back into the sky and disappearing into the distance.

It's quiet for a few moments, and the opportunity was still there, but it wasn't until you both can overhear some loud chatter in the distance. Jeonghan's eyes trail behind you, seeing a large group of beachgoers making their way towards your spot. He feels the snake of frustration crawl up his spine.

However, he feels that frustration dissipate when you grab a hold of his hand again, and he's met with your bright smile.

"Take a little dip in the water with me?"

He can't help but grin back. "Absolutely."

A smirk crosses your face as you are quick to kick off your shoes. "Loser has to get splashed!"

Jeonghan just yells out your name as you dash your way to the water's edge, also taking off his shoes and hurriedly rolling up his pants. He chases after you, and it isn't long until the water reaches your ankles. The calm waves lap gently at your feet, the cold seawater sending shivers up your spine.

And once he reaches you, he grabs your hand and spins you around to press a sweet, lingering kiss to your lips.

FINAL.

And the one time it happens, the situation wasn't entirely... the most ideal. It was late at night, the two of you were returning home from a birthday party for one of Jeonghan's friends, and for most of the time you had found yourselves separated away from each other.

You are both also a bit tipsy.

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking for you, or the fact you both felt as if you haven't seen each other for weeks on end, yet nothing but your chuckles fill the air as Jeonghan drags you inside his place. And once the door closes behind𑁋the two of you finally alone together𑁋his lips are immediately locking onto yours, both firmly and gently, making you stumble backwards until you feel your behind hit the back of the couch.

Your senses are heightened by the remnants of alcohol in your system, and your head spins with his lips moving against yours. His hands find their way to your waist, pulling you closer to him, the heat of his body pressing against yours. His kisses were sweet and addictive, like they always are, also a bit clumsy, and you could taste the hint of red wine on his lips.

You feel his kisses travel from your lips to your cheeks and down to your neck, planting soft, loving pecks along the way. You couldn't help but let out a contented sigh of pleasure, your hands finding their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands, feeling the way his breath brushes against the skin of your neck.

"Missed you so much, beautiful," he mutters against your skin, sending goosebumps to dance on your skin as he continues to pepper your neck with tender kisses.

You couldn't help but smile, a gentle, tipsy grin spreading across your face. "I missed you too."

As you break away for a moment to catch your breath, Jeonghan's forehead rests against yours, and you both giggle softly. The room spins slightly around you, a dizzying combination of alcohol and desire. You feel his hand trace delicate patterns on your waist, sending shivers to run up and down your spine.

You can feel your heart beating faster as you lock eyes with him, his dark, dilated pupils filled with a longing that matches your own.

"You know," he begins, eyes fluttering and voice a soft, alcohol-tinged murmur. "There's a secret I've been wanting to tell you. You can't tell anyone."

Your heart flutters, and you lean in closer, eager to hear what he has to say. "Tell me."

A mischievous grin tugs at the corners of his lips, and he leans in even closer, his lips brushing against yours with a teasing, almost torturous gentleness. The scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body envelop you.

"I love you."

Those three silly little words hang in the air, and it feels like time stands still. You're no longer tipsy (even though you still kinda are); at this point, the alcohol has sharpened your focus, and you're acutely aware of everything around you.

"I'm so in love with you, angel, I feel like I might lose my mind."

If it was possible for you to burst, then that's what your heart does right there. You feel a rush of warmth flood your body, like a deep breath you've been holding onto for years, and you kiss him this time. Just briefly, because it was all too overwhelming right now to use your voice when that itself feels like it's not enough.

When you finally catch your breath, you whisper, "I love you too, Jeonghan."

Jeonghan's eyes simmer with an intensity that pierces right through you.

"Say that again," he breathes huskily.

A playful grin forms on your lips. You lean in even closer, your lips nearly brushing against his as you repeat those three precious words again and for the rest of the night.

And all the nights after those.

"I love you, Jeonghan."

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

Hi!

Alec breaking out "becoming the Consul" news to Magnus and Magnus's reaction to it. Also, some flirting and fluff surrounding it.

The first official task Alec fulfils as the new Consul of the Clave- In Exile is to ensure that everyone finds a place to sleep for the night.

Their world is currently burning, and tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that is going to be another crisis in itself.

But for now, they all need to rest.

Some of them shift into the New York Institute temporarily. Some shadowhunters have families across the world so they go there. Clary opens up a few portals for the ones remaining to move to other institutes.

So many of them are still left adrift and Clary alone cannot open this many portals. Alec sees the worry and exhaustion on her face and decides that this is it. They would need a few warlocks to get this process done.

But they don’t have anyone right now. What happened in Alicante, is still between the shadowhunters. The rest of the shadow world does not know yet.

Alec has decided that tomorrow morning, they will announce it to the world. And then the rest of the Downworld can decide which Clave they want to be a part of.

He knows, with a guarantee that would stand with him. The downworlders have decided not to be part of the council meeting because of the registry.

It’s not a question of who they will choose. But albeit, everything needs to be official.

As they wind down, even amidst the chaos, Alec had requested his siblings and friends to not inform Magnus about it.

Alec wants to be the one to tell him. He’s dying to witness the look on his face.

Izzy had whined because she already had a party planned at his loft. But she’d understood.

From tomorrow onwards, Alexander Gideon Lightwood will belong to the world.

Tonight, he just wants to be Magnus’s.

“Clary, you okay?” He asks her softly.

She smiles at him. “I am, boss man.”

He blushes, “Shut up.”

Clary peers at him and he sighs because he knows that she knows that he wants to ask something from her.

“What do you want?”

“A portal.”

“To the loft?”

He shakes his head. “No. Paris.”

Clary raises an eyebrow, “Why?”

“Can’t tell you.”

Her face changes, and a grin appears on it. In moments like this, he loves her like anything. She reminds him of his siblings. Of people he’d sworn to protect.

And people who annoy him more than anything.

“If you want a portal, you need to spill.”

“I hate you.”

“I’ll live,” she grins.

“Fine,” he accepts defeat because he needs that portal right now. He shifts closer to her and tells her everything. He’d assumed she would act cocky, but a gentle and soft smile appears on her face.

“You two deserve this,” she breathes and opens up a portal for him.

“Thank you,” he kisses her head and enters through the portal.

“Alec!!” She says loudly as he’s about to leave.

“Yeah?”

“Get that dick.”

Alec rolls his eyes and turns back.

He’s at Parc des Buttes-Chaumont, a small park situated in North-Eastern Paris.

They came here for an evening stroll last year. There’s no specific reason Alec chose this place. Just that it was in Paris.

There’s a whoosh behind him and he turns, and Magnus enters through a portal.

“Alexander?”

As easy as breathing, not even voluntarily, his face breaks into a smile as his eyes land on the man.

“Hi, baby.”

Magnus closes the distance and stands infront of him.

“Everything okay?” He asks. “Why did you call me here? Not that I mind a late-night picnic here. But how did the meeting go? You told me you will tell me all about it when you come home.”

Before he tells Magnus all of it, he needs something else. Alec throws his arms around Magnus’s neck and breathes him in.

The image of Cohort children with swords in their hands still haunt him. It’s been a terrible, terrible day and Alec needs to just feel Magnus for a few minutes.

“Sweetheart?” Magnus speaks softly against his neck but he wraps his arms around his back and pulls him closer.

Alec relaxes against his body and revels in the comfort.

The world might be going to shit but Alec’s world stands as perfect as always.

They pull back a few moments later and Magnus cups his cheeks. “Hi, my love.”

He smiles back. “Hey.”

“Is everything alright?” Magnus asks, raising his hand and brushing Alec’s hair with gentle fingers. “I can’t imagine everything went well today.”

“It didn’t.”

“How did it go?”

“You want the long version or the short version?”

Magnus replies sufferingly, “I cannot pretend to care about Clave politics so the short version.”

Alec chuckles softly, “The Clave broke-up.”

Magnus raises an eyebrow, “Broke up?”

“Yep.”

“Like the Backstreet Boys?”

He chuckles before nodding. “Sort of?”

“Explain.”

“You said you wanted the short version,” Alec replies, entwining his fingers with Magnus as they start walking next to each other.

“About boring political stuff. Not the clave breaking up,” Magnus yelps.

He briefs Magnus about what the Cohort, led by Zara Dearborn did.

“That’s awful,” Magnus’s voice sobers up and be clenches Alec’s hand in support.

“Hmmmm.”

“So half of the Clave is in-exile here. And the other half is there.”

“Yeah.”

“And there are two Consuls. And two governments ruling the shadowhunter now.”

He nods his head.

Magnus sighs dramatically, “So, twice the drama? The world has to deal with two Consuls now?”

A huge grin appears on his face, then. “Well, you would only have to deal with one. The exiled one.”

“Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t want to side with the Clave in Idris,” Magnus challenges.

Alec raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. I would bleach my hair blonde before doing that.”

Alec pictures Magnus as a blonde and he wants to tell him that Magnus could pull off even that.

“So, tell me. Which new oppressive tyrant am I going to be dealing with for the next few years.”

“Oppressive tyrant?” Alec says with a mischievous smile on his face.

“Well, Jiya was fine and it was not unbearable to work with her. But you never know with shadowhunter,” Magnus says. He turns towards Alec and then adds, “Present company excluded.”

“It’s someone you know.”

“I know a lot of people,” Magnus says offhandedly.

“Someone you know very intimately,” he teases.

Magnus pauses. “Why does this feel like a trick question?”

It’s a new moon night so there’s absolute darkness everywhere. But standing next to Magnus, there’s always so much light.

Magnus twirls him around easily and Alec’s body moves into a circle as he giggles.

He can’t contain his happiness.

“It might be a trick question.”

“I knew it.”

“So, who is it?”

Before Alec tells him, he wants to tell him something else.

“You know it was here, in Paris, when I realised that we need to change the Clave.”

Magnus furrows his brows.

Alec shakes his head and fond memories flood his brain. “I was with Helen and Aline. During your whole cult fiasco.”

“Not my cult.”

“Sure.”

“Mean.”

“Anyways,” Alec breathes. “I realised then that the Clave needed to be changed from within. And then we couldn’t wait for someone else. It was us who was going to fix it.”

Magnus brings his arms around his waist and kisses his mouth softly. “And you are doing that. With the Alliance. And everything you do. And I am incredibly proud of you.”

A huge blush appears on his face. He cups Magnus’s cheek and sighs, “So much of it was because of you.”

“You could have done all of that without me,” Magnus assures.

The thing is that; maybe Alec would have. Maybe he would have been the man he was even without Magnus.

He’s just glad he doesn’t have to.

“I did it for everyone,” he exhales. “But especially for you.”

Magnus narrows his eyes at him. “What’s got you in this mood?”

Alec smiles. “I know your history with the clave and the consuls has not been easy. I just hope you have a good one with the new consul.”

“Can’t promise. Which brings me to my question again?,” Magnus asks. “Who is this new guy?”

He pulls back a little and lets out his hand. “Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, I wanted to introduce myself.”

A confused smile appears on Magnus’s face, knowing Alec is gearing up for theatrics.

“Please do, shadowhunter,” Magnus smirks. “Who are you and how do you know me?”

“Everyone knows you,” Alec replies before a confident smile appears on his face. “I’m Alexander Gideon Lightwood, new Consul of the Clave in-exile.”

Magnus pauses as the confusion on his face grows before it breaks into a huge wonder.

“Are you—“

“Yes,” he nods his head frantically.

“You’re the Consul.”

“I am,” he giggles.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” Magnus shrieks as he pulls Alec’s body against his. “You brat.”

He throws his head back in laughter as Magnus kisses his face. Over and over and over again.

“I am so proud of you,” Magnus breathes a few minutes later, when they’re done dancing and kissing. “There is no else better suited for this.”

“I love you.”

Alec already has plans for a hundred new laws. He’s not naive enough to believe that all of them will see the light of the day. But there is one, that Alec would lay down his entire life for.

He’ll tell Magnus about it tomorrow.

“I love you, too,” Magnus kisses him but they’re both smiling so hard that it’s a little difficult to be able to kiss.

“I can’t wait to tell the kids.”

“They will be so happy.”

“They don’t even understand what it means,” Alec chuckles.

“And yet, they will be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“You are?” Magnus raises an eyebrow, still smiling, still wrapped up around Alec.

“Very much so.”

“I like you happy,” his boyfriend, and if he’s able to do what he wants to do tomorrow, his future husband replies and Alec closes the distance between the two.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood, Consul of the Clave sounds nice.

But Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane sounds better.

[thecreaturecodex]

Seething Spirit

Image © Paizo Publishing

[Thank you, Paizo, for introducing more types of incorporeal undead in PF2e. The fact that, by default, the seething spirit speaks Dwarven and Giant (well, Jotunn in PF2e) has some interesting world building implications.]

Seething Spirit CR 11 CE Undead (incorporeal) This reddish spectral figure is humanoid, its outline wavering as if seen through a shimmer of heat. Its eyes are furious, and its features contorted into a hateful grimace.

A seething spirit is an undead creature of pure anger. The souls that create seething spirits died in a state of extreme wrath, and the seething spirit carries that sentiment into the world. Seething spirits are particularly motivated by the specific target of anger—romantic resentment, a persecution complex, racism and straight-up spite are all common factors that might empower a seething spirit. Seething spirits remember little of their lives except their rage, and cannot be put to rest by resolving any unfulfilled business or the like. Seething spirits seek out people with similar resentments and possess them, turning them into a vessel to channel that anger into violence.

A seething spirit cannot willingly leave a possessed target, and so steers its host’s life into its campaign of hatred. They are excellent liars and capable of strategy, but often short-sighted and impatient around their focus of anger. Their ultimate goals are always violent ones, and if they can incite others into destructive mobs, all the better. A creature possessed by a seething spirit radiates rage as an almost palpable aura, and even their punches and kicks strike with the force of a greataxe. Appropriately enough for a being of extreme emotions, they are nearly powerless in the face of a calm emotions spell, which ejects them from their possessed hosts or tears away at their spiritual forms.

Seething Spirit                     CR 11 XP 12,800 CE Medium undead (incorporeal) Init +10; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +13, taste anger Aura raging (20 ft., Will DC 23)

Defense AC 24, touch 24, flat-footed 17 (+6 Dex, +1 dodge, +7 deflection) hp 138 (12d8+84) Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +8 Immune incorporeal traits, undead traits; Weakness vulnerable to calm emotions

Offense Speed fly 40 ft. (perfect) Melee 2 incorporeal claws +16 (1d12+7) Special Attacks furious possession Spell-like Abilities CL 12th, concentration +19 (+23 casting defensively) Constant—tongues At will—detect thoughts (DC 19), invisibility (self only), ventriloquism (DC 18) 3/day—paranoia (DC 19), suggestion (DC 20) 1/day—remove fear, song of discord (DC 23)

Statistics Str -, Dex 23, Con -, Int 14, Wis6, Cha 25 Base Atk +9; CMB -; CMD 33 Feats Combat Casting,Dodge, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (incorporeal claw) Skills Acrobatics +18, Bluff +19, Fly +29, Intimidate +22, Perception +13, Stealth +21 Languages Common, Dwarven, Giant, tongues

Ecology Environment any Organization solitary Treasure none

Special Abilities Furious Possession (Su) As a standard action, a seething spirit can attempt to possess an adjacent corporeal creature. This functions as a greater possession spell (DC 23), except that the possessed creature gains temporary hit points equal to the seething spirit’s HD, and whenever it deals damage with a melee weapon, natural weapon or unarmed strike, may choose to use the seething spirit’s incorporeal claw damage instead. A seething spirit cannot end its possession voluntarily. A creature that succeeds its saving throw cannot be possessed by that seething spirit for the next 24 hours. Temporary hit points granted by this ability refresh every 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma based. Incorporeal Claw (Ex) A seething spirit’s incorporeal touch attack deals slashing and piercing damage, and the damage is modified by the seething spirit’s Charisma bonus. Raging Aura (Su) When it is possessing a creature, the seething spirit radiates rage in a 20 foot aura. All creatures in the area must succeed a DC 23 Will save or suffer the negative effects of a barbarian rage, suffering a -2 penalty to Armor Class and being unable to use any any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except Acrobatics, Fly, Intimidate, and Ride) or any ability that requires patience or concentration. A creature so affected gains a +2 morale bonus to all damage rolls against the seething spirit’s enemies. This lasts as long as the creature remains in the aura and for 1d4+1 rounds thereafter. A creature that succeeds its save is immune to the raging aura of that seething spirit for the next 24 hours. A creature that fails its save automatically fails its save against the raging aura of that seething spirit for the next 24 hours. This is a mind-influencing emotion effect, and the save DC is Charisma based. Taste Anger (Ex) A seething spirit can sense the presence of anger and hatred within 1 mile, and detect angry and hateful creatures within 30 feet as if it had blindsense. Vulnerable to Calm Emotions (Ex) A seething spirit cannot possess a creature under the effects of calm emotions, and if a creature it is possessing fails its saving throw against calm emotions, the seething spirit is ejected from its host. If a seething spirit outside of a host is targeted by calm emotions, it takes 10 points of damage per caster level (Will save for half damage).

[pujakhandelwal20]

Last-Minute Diwali Gifting Struggles? Here’s Your Go-to Gift Hamper Guide

There’s nothing quite like the joy of giving. When words fall short, a thoughtfully chosen gift can speak volumes. According to Merriam-Webster, gifting is defined as something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation. It’s a simple act that can brighten someone’s day and, in turn, make your day a little brighter.  

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[letarasstuff]

Notice me!

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I hope you like it1

Summary: Teenagers at JJ's daughter's school get attacked. Does she fit the victomology?

Warnings: feeling uncared for

Wordcount: 2.7k

✨Masterlist✨ ___________________________________

“Good morning, my lovelies. The good news: The case is local. The bad news: Somebody is attacking teenage girls from the same high school”, Penelope starts the briefing, dressed in a bright pink dress with matching accessories.

“Are they from the same class? Age?” Hotch asks, looking over the file. Upon opening her own, JJ feels like her heart stops. “Negative, the three girls are from different years even. The only connection is the school.” “It’s (Y/N)’s school. She-she is a Junior there. I-Hotch?” Desperately she looks at her boss.

The team’s eyes soften. It’s already difficult with minors involved, but when it gets personal the case is a thousand times harder.

“Call her and tell her we get her to answer a few questions. At this point we can be sure it’s someone from the staff or a student. Time is the essence. Reid and JJ, you get (Y/N). Morgan and Prentiss, you question the first two. Dave and I take the last one and then go to the crime scenes. Garcia, I want you to find out anything about the victims and their families. Check their social media sites and look out for anything that connects them”, the Unit Chiefs orders.

Everybody gets up immediately. JJ has her phone already at hand. The longer it takes her daughter to take the call, the more nervous she gets.

“Mom? Did something happen? You know exactly I’m at school. I don’t wanna get in-” “Honey, Uncle Spence and I come to get you. There is something we have to question you about.” The teenager is silent for a moment. “It’s about the girls that got beaten up, isn’t it?”

Her mother sighs. Of course nothing like that stays quiet for long. “Yes, it is.” JJ doesn’t see the point in lying to her. “Ok. Uhm, can you just question me at school? I really don’t wanna leave, because I have soccer practice after school for the game this evening.”

A little light blinks at that in JJ’s mind. “Isn’t it that important game, where scouts are coming?” (Y/N) begins to smile. Her mother remembers it. Maybe she does pay attention to her. Maybe, just maybe, she pays enough to come and see her. After all she even took a day off for Henry’s recital last time.

“Yes, you said you will come and cheer for me.” JJ’s heart aches. She knows that her oldest often backs down due to her mother’s job. More often than the blonde agent likes to admit she has stood her daughter up to save someone’s life. “I try to be there in time, Honey. I can’t promise you anything, though. Just let us hope we solve this case quickly, ok?”

(Y/N)’s shoulders drop. Of course, how could she be this naive to think her mother cares enough to at least try to make it to her probably most important game? “Alright. Text me when you are here or just get me excused at the secretary's office. Bye.”

JJ looks at her phone in puzzlement. The teenager always is understanding of her job and the sacrifices it takes. One night under a lot of tears she confessed to her mother that everytime she is away on a case, she is in the greatest state of worry. Will reported repeatedly that (Y/N) is miserable whenever her mother isn’t at home.

So she told her daughter about the pact she made with her sister. Any time they miss each other, they go out and look at the moon, knowing that they see the same. JJ also admitted that she and Henry are the reason she is even working as a profiler. The agent wants to make the world safer for her kids. A safe space, where they can grow up and go to the park without worrying about Stranger Danger or anything else.

“Is everything ok?” Spencer asks as he sees his best friend frozen on the spot. JJ looks up to him, spotting concern in his eyes. “Yeah, no. I don’t know? It’s just, (Y/N) has an important soccer game tonight with scouts coming and such and I’m not sure if I can get there in time because of the case. She sounded really sad when I told her that. You know, I’m incredibly proud of her for getting this far and she plays really well. Scratch that, she is amazing. Especially knowing (Y/N) is responsible enough to think about college in her junior year makes me swell with pride”, she gushes unknowingly.

Spencer smiles. “I see, she is just like her mother. I’m sure (Y/N) will come around, she loves you so much and knows how difficult our job is.” JJ nods, trying to believe him.

Not long after that the duo enters the secretary’s office, explaining the situation. He immediately notifies the teenager’s teacher and a few minutes later (Y/N) opens the door. “There is an empty classroom we can use, I already asked Mr Boyle. He is such a sweetheart”, she tells her mother and uncle.

“Thank you for consenting to answer our questions. (Y/N), do you know the girls?” Spencer begins after settling down. “I do. One of them, Amy, is on the soccer team with me. We mostly talk about her family. She is in love with her little sister. The other two, Rosa and Gina, are in Freshmen. I tutored Gina briefly until her mother said she doesn’t need it.”

Unfortunately (Y/N) isn’t able to tell more useful information. “Thank you so much, Honey. Have fun at your practice later”, JJ tells her while embracing the teenager. “Yeah, thanks. Do you come home tonight?” Her mother sighs.

“I get it, you don’t know. Ok, I don’t wanna interfere any longer. Maybe you are able to solve the case faster. Stay safe. Love you!” Quickly she picks her bag up and leaves the room.

JJ looks at the genius with a face that says “Do you know what I mean?”

“My lovelies, all three girls don’t have the best connection to their parents. They often complain about the missing approval. Do you think that it’s a kid from their classes?” Garcia informs them as the team gathers back around the round table.

Rossi shakes his head. “The crimes are too organized for a kid. Every girl was drugged, but we don’t know how. Then the UnSub waits for the drug to kick in and takes her to a vacant spot, where the beating occurs. And all of this happens right after classes end. It has to be a staff member, probably a teacher.”

“Yeah, but there is one detail that doesn’t sit right with me”, Derek pipes up, “The connection between the girls is the bad relationship with their parents. It has to be someone, who is reminded by their own dysfunctional family.”

“Garcia, look for someone from the area, his comfort zone shows that he knows remote areas that you don’t find by accident. He has to be from D.C.” Spencer instructs her.

“Okidoki, boy won- Wait, are we looking for a male?” Hotch nods. “We are, the amount of strength used to beat up the girls suggests a male, same with the amount of hatred.”

Emily looks unsure. “This sounds all right, but why is he choosing the girls? What does he relive by hurting them? How does it help him?”

JJ wants to partake in the mindstorming, but a ping from her phone distracts her from saying her thoughts out loud. It’s a text message from (Y/N)

If you find the time in your busy schedule to read this, be informed that Will and Henry won’t come to the game tonight, because Henry has a spontaneous playdate. Don’t worry, he brought me my inhaler to school already.

(Y/N) sighs after sending the text. Is it really too much work for her mother to make room for her? This is probably the most important event in her whole school carriere and she decides that a team of masterminds need her more than her own daughter.

Hurt by the clear ignorance she shoulders her bag and makes her way to the counselor’s office.

“Come in”, a warm voice invites the teenager after her knocking on the door. “Hey, Mr Pembroke. Uhm, I have a class before soccer practice and I wanted to ask you if I can put my bag here? I know I got a locker, but I still got my mom’s birthday present in there and I’m scared I’ll leave it in my classroom and have to run back to get the bag if not another kid already took it away.”

Mr Pembroke looks at her with a smile. “Of course, (Y/N), I don’t mind. Speaking of your mother, will she be there tonight? I really hope so, because you are a star on the field. She’s missing out otherwise.” At the end he winks. He is just that kind of guy. Working with kids makes him desperate for appearing younger than he really is, but that is also part of Keith Pembroke’s charm.

“Unfortunately my whole family isn’t able to come. It is like- I mean I get it, serial killers are dangerous and it’s important and the right thing to chase them down. But do I not deserve some time with my mother?” Mr Pembroke evolved into a moral support over the past school year since he started his job at (Y/N)’s high school.

He always has something noice and wise to say. “You do. Everybody deserves some time with their family and especially with their parents. Why don’t you talk to them after all this is over? I can help you work on what you can say.”

Happily the teenager takes the offer and rushes to her class.

“Guys, I might be onto something”, Spencer rips everybody from their train of thoughts. JJ looks at the watch on her wrist. (Y/N)’s game ends in about five minutes. And she sits here, stumped one the case she stood her up for.

“So we thought about how he chooses his victims. The only connection we found was them having a bad relationship with their parents. But how would the UnSub know? They didn’t share any classes.

“But there always is one person, who knows about the student’s problems. They tell them voluntarily”, he finishes, giving his colleagues the opportunity to answer it themselves.

“The counselor!” Rossi exclaims, wondering how they oversaw the obvious.

Penelope’s keyboard is practically on fire from her fast typing until she nearly shouts: “I got him! Keith Pem-” The rest goes under in the loud ring from JJ’s cellphone. “I’m sorry, but this is… (Y/N)’s school! I-” Hotch nods, giving her permission to take that call.

“Jennifer Jareau?” She can’t wait until she is out of the conference room. Now that they know who the UnSub is, JJ is more on edge than ever. “Uhm, Mrs Jareau, I call about your daughter, (Y/N). She is on her way to the hospital, she collapsed during the soccer game. We suspect an asthma attack, even though she used her inhaler.” The teacher on the phone gives her a few more information before hanging up.

“I-I’m - (Y/N), she is- hospital. Her inhaler.” In that moment she makes all the connections. “Garcia, look for the girl’s medical history. Pembroke exchanged (Y/N)’s inhaler, I’m sure he did. Look for it in the other girls. I have to go, she is at the hospital right now.”

In a way even Derek Morgan would describe it as reckless JJ speeds to the hospital, ready to fight any regulations keeping her from seeing her daughter sooner. “I’m here for (Y/N) Jareau. J-A-R-E-” She tells the woman at the reception breathlessly.

“Oh I got her. She is in room 99. (Y/N) was unconscious for a certain amount of time, but she is slowly regaining her senses. A doctor will meet you there.” Before she even finishes her sentence, the blonde leaves the desk into the direction of the appointed room.

In fact there is a doctor waiting for her, updating the mother on her daughter’s condition. “I advise you to not overwhelm her. Her mind is still foggy and there may be things that don’t make sense right now coming from her. But (Y/N) will make a quick recovery, being good as new in only a matter of days.”

Cautiously she enters the room. The teenager might be awake, but her mind clearly is elsewhere. “Hey, Honey. It’s me, your mom. How are you feeling?” JJ asks softly, taking her daughter’s cold hand into her own gently.

“Oh, hi Mom. I didn’t know you found the time to actually come here. Isn’t there like a bad guy out there waiting for you to slap some handcuffs on him?” Ouch, she doesn’t expect that kind of honesty. But it’s true and JJ knows what (Y/N) is talking about.

She sighs. “I’m sorry, Honey, for being seemingly absent from your life. I swear, you can’t imagine how proud I am of you. I mean, you play soccer and there might be a scholarship in sigh. And even if you don’t get one, you can do anything and I would still be proud to call you my child.”

(Y/N) turns her head around, looking deeply into her mother’s eyes. The blonde can see all the pain she brought onto her bundle of joy. “Mom, I don’t even enjoy soccer as much as you think. I only do this, because I thought there would be finally something we can bond over. But I clearly didn’t calculate your stupid job in.”

JJ kicks herself for overseeing her daughter this much. She never stopped to acknowledge her oldest child’s accomplishments in front of her team and family. She always told everybody in the BAU what (Y/N) is up to, if they asked or not is not her problem. But in the whole process the agent forgot the most important person, the one who reached all those goals.

“Oh Honey, I’m so sorry for letting you feel like I don’t want to partake in your life. I- I was just so invested in your life that I didn’t think about you. You don’t have to do anything that I like to get my attention. You can join the school band playing the triangle and I would practically make t-shirts for the whole team sporting your logo.

“Anything you do is enough for me. You don’t need to change yourself to appeal to others, not even me. I’m sorry for letting you down. I love you so much and I hope you can forgive me.”

It seems like (Y/N) needs a few seconds to comprehend her mother’s statements before answering them. “I just need a mom, who is there more often. That would be enough for me. Just once every three games is enough. To let my friends know you care. To let me know you care.” JJ gets tears in her eyes. She promises to be there more often, fully intending to keep that promise.

“Good, now that we have that sorted out I need you to come into bed with me. I feel I could sleep for at least a year because of Mr Pembroke’s really weird tasting substance in my inhaler. Can we just cuddle until I feel like I’m my old self?” JJ smiles while happily laying down next to her daughter, engulfing her in a hug, still being cautious of all the tubes she has going in and out of her.

“I love you so much, Honey Bun”, the blonde murmurs, stroking a few strands out of her daughter’s face. But (Y/N) is too tired to answer. She just nods and cuddles closer to her mother before falling asleep.

Meanwhile, JJ watches over her like a hawk. Not even Will is allowed to come closer to her than two meters (or roughly six and a half feet for Americans), not wanting anyone to disturb her daughter’s peaceful sleep.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Sneak Peak)

 (Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader) 

Summary: Someone always has to leave first; They just didn’t expect Yoongi to come back with a new omega (who's clearly been through some shit). 

Pairing: Beta! Yoongi, Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin,

Tags: Polyamory, groupsex, sexual and non-sexual Dom/sub undertones, heat sex, praise kink, brief humiliation, Spanking, knotting, breeding kink, emotional abuse, physical abuse, forced mating marks, graphic murder scenes, negative self-talk, self-esteem issues, non-verbal characters, abandonment, PTSD, hurt/comfort, gluttonous fluff, agoraphobia, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal thoughts and brief desperate suicide attempt, unreliable narrators. Gender dysphoria, transgender characters, internalized homophobia, internalized transphobia, internalized misogyny, unintended outings, epilepsy, 

W/c: 100k+ (87k completed so far)

A/n: long time no see~ this is what I’ve been working on for the last few months! I hope everyone will like it. Updates will be once a week on fridays or saturdays at 5pm EST. This will also be cross posted on Archive of our own. 

--------------------------------------

“You shouldn’t be out here- you’ll get cold.” 

Your hands play on the bannister. In the fountain, something trickles though it’s not full. It’s too early in spring and the flowers in the garden are reluctant to burst through the ground for fear of frost. Yoongi wonders how you’re not shivering. “It’s not the 1800’s Yoongi- people don’t die just from being cold”  your revealing dress is probably something that your husband chose for you. it makes Yoongi’s blood boil. 

You look a little bit better tonight, though Yoongi can't tell if the color in your face is actually real or from the thick layer of makeup that hides the bruises. The haze in your eyes, like you’re dissociating from everything, isn’t there anymore. Tonight, You’ve got a clarity that Yoongi savors. The scar is healing well, pink and hardly notable under the line of your jaw. Yoongi wouldn’t know it was there if he wasn’t looking for it.  

Yoongi searches your face. “You misunderstand me, I said that I don’t want you to be cold, but maybe if you caught a cold- I could help you get better.”

He knows his words don’t make sense- but still you recognize what he wants to say but can’t. I could love you, I could make it better, I could care for you and only treat you with the gentleness you deserve. But Yoongi doesn’t say any of that- no- he only leans forward and offers his hands. “One dance? Before I take you home?”

Yoongi will drive you away from here- will take you and go to some gritty fast food place and get you full of however many calories your husband has made you skip. And he’ll spend the whole drive thinking about leaning across the console to kiss you. He could do it- quick. You’re not wearing lipstick and no one would know. Maybe he can’t help you yet- so starved of love that you look like a ghost. But tonight, he can surely make sure your stomach and your heart is full with the careful care that Yoongi knows he’s good at giving.

You keep Yoongi at an arm's length as he leads you in the waltz, day dreaming of a hypothetical illness, some sickness that can be fixed by a few days rest and some warm soup that Yoongi could provide. The two of you pulled together in a bed however big or small- you wouldn’t mind as long as you got to be this close. His hand on your forehead crooning, “you’ve got a fever lovely.” 

It’s a beautiful day dream, but not better than reality as he pulls you in tighter against him in your skimpy gown. It’s only to keep you warm- he justifies. And you melt into his hold. His hands are wide, warm, and better than any jacket as they cup your sides and the small of your back. You stumble on the uneven cobblestones of the garden and Yoongi heaves you up so that you’re balanced on his toes.

He spins you, going faster in the practices steps, making you giggle- a sound that he’s never heard from you and wants to hear again and again. You slow to a more gentle pace, Swaying softly from side to side. You rest your whole body against him and Yoongi holds you up.

For the first time he can smell your real scent, you smell sweet and bready, like a freshly baked cake, something warm inside on a day that the rain pours outside. You smell like cozy lazy Sundays and cupcakes. Yoongi wants to bury his face in your neck but won’t without asking.

He wonders if you like his scent just as much as he likes yours.  

Before he can ask, you pipe up. “You just had to take all the good didn’t you?” its not said bitterly, but musing. Out of two brothers, why would one have so much more softness than the other? One gentle and kind while the other is bloodthirsty and violently selfish. Why did you have to choose wrong?

“What would it be like Yoongi? If you took me away from here what would it be like?” you’re crying, barely daring to utter the words. The two of you both know from experience that tempting fate never ends well but you’ve never wanted anything so badly. 

Yoongi struggles to hold onto your happy scent. You know how much wanting something you can’t have can hurt you. Reaching out like you’re prepared to grasp the future he’ll paint for you, holding onto the lapels of his coat as you cry. Yoongi just runs his hands up and down your back to comfort you through the longing. 

Like this garden aches for rain, Yoongi aches to give, anything and everything, his heart on a platter if that’s what you wanted.

“We’d get takeout every few nights and play rock paper scissors to decide who gets to be the little spoon, we’d have a rule of no yelling in the house, I’d take you out to the ocean and make you s’mores whenever you wanted. You could steal my clothes and I’d never ever say a word about It.” 

You laugh at that- somehow, Yoongi just knows that’s something you’d do. He’s known enough omegas, he knows that courting one means you voluntarily give up half of your sweatshirt collection. He keeps speaking softer, like to whisper his wishes out loud is like trying to hold onto a shooting star.  

“And-” Yoongi takes a deep breath, tilting his face forward so that your foreheads are aligned. So close. This is the closest Yoongi has ever let himself get to you. “-I’d love you until we’d both had our last breath. I’d leave you sticky notes on the refrigerator telling you that I love you every time I had to leave. I’d never- ever let you be cold. And I’d show you my pack”

Yoongi can feel you swallow thickly at his promises- and he hopes- hopes more than anything else that they’re not empty ones. You always forget that he has someone else- that there are several someone-else’s who have Yoongi’s attention the way you do. He is the moon and you’re just something he orbits around. There are other celestial objects caught in his orbit. “What are they like? What’s it like to have a pack?” 

Yoongi tries not to let himself get misty eyed, “it’s everything, it’s love and having everyone there all around you but it’s also so much fun, you’re never alone- you always have someone to be around and it’s not even- it doesn’t even feel tiring. Even when you want to sleep you’d rather stay up with them.” Yoongi slides his finger underneath one of the straps of your dress, playing with it. “Telling you what they’re like- well- that would take me hours” 

Your laugh is pretty, and it slips through yoongi’s fingers like smoke “That sounds beautiful.” Yoongi holds you like you might be a piece of that- a piece of his pack that he hadn’t known he’d been missing. That's probably why your next words hit him so hard. 

“I wish I could have seen it. Get back to them safe alright? Do me a favor and love them like you would have loved me.”

*Part 1 Coming Friday April 9th @ 5pm EST* 

[gemma-collins-ily]

OMG I LOVED your latest Kaz fic titled "Crossing of His Fingers and Ankles"!!! If you would, would you kinda do a part 2 of them making the (attempting to) watching the sunrise together a once a month activity and the other crows catching them asleep on the couch together and teasing them?

Form of Love

a/n - awwww, this is a little shorter but I really love it as of now! The cutenesssssss! Thank you so much for the compliment, and the request of course! I really enjoyed writing it xoxo ❣️💝

Warnings: nothing???

Tagged: @mrs-brekker15 (released early for you xoxo hope you feel better!)

This is the part two of Crossing of His Fingers and Ankles!

It would always end the same way.

Kaz half-heartedly cursed you internally for the sole reason that he used to be able to get through an entire night with only cold, long since brewed coffee and his will to work.

Now, it was all he could do to stay awake for a few hours into the night at most.

But he could never truly be mad at you: partially because his predicament was both benefiting him and ruining his business all at once. See, now he could get a proper night's rest and the bags under his eyes were gradually fading, it was true, but he managed to complete far less paperwork, no longer powering through till dawn.

This would be no problem if he weren't so stubborn in deciding that he specifically had to do all that paperwork on his own. There were others in the Dregs who would jump at the chance, needing something, anything, to fill their days, but Kaz simply hoarded his workload to himself.

Every month, you would figuratively drag him to the sofa, and if he were to blatantly refuse, you would only smile knowingly. Long ago was it acknowledged that you could persuade Kaz to do almost anything, to your mass benefit, and his mass disadvantage.

You only needed to be there, words unspoken yet present in your mind and he would be won over before you even opened your mouth to speak.

Yes, you only watched the sunrise together once a month, but you would spend every free night you had with Kaz, scanning over documents and each of you holding them before your face, pretending to catch the light to read fine print, when really, you were sneaking regular glances at the other over the papers.

He appreciated you giving up your time for him, and often thought you should use it for anything else, but in the end, he wouldn't ever stop your evenings together voluntarily.

It could be selfish, but your excuse was that he was still working, to which he would raise an amused brow. You did work together, although he'd eventually have his gaze on you for minutes at a time, it being too tempting to resist.

You did the same of course, admiring the strong tea shade of his irises and the slope of his nose, or his fingers moving nimbly amongst the papers.

When he'd catch you directly looking at his glove clad hands, he'd swiftly whip out a pack of cards and preform a magic trick, never ceasing to adore the twinkle in your eye that showed how marvelous you thought it to be.

After a while, he could bear to do the classic trick of palming a coin and pretending it had appeared from behind your ear. That sparkle of amazement made it worth it for him. It always would.

You were the only one he would willingly give kruge to, no matter how big the amount. Kaz desired to gift you the world, believing you deserved it and you constantly reminded him he had already given you all you wanted.

Kaz would always smile genuinely and warmly at those words, that crooked smile, the one that slanted minorly to the left and the one you loved. More than everything.

Now, he could barely stay awake long enough for your scheduled sunrise observing. When the first light made itself known, you would plonk down onto the couch, Kaz following a moment later, and you would revel in the sun drifting across your skin, plus the colours painting the skies.

Ketterdam was truly beautiful. You only needed to know how to see it, and when.

Kaz never actually looked at the sunrise for long, instead choosing to stare at you, enjoying the look of bliss on your face.

He may break the usual promises he made, and you futilely agreed to, knowing Kaz would allow you to slumber anyway, but he would never stop curling up on opposite ends of the couch with you.

That was the one promise he would always keep.

Inej was the first one to discover you together, vulnerable as you slept away, Kaz too.

She was ever the early riser and had knocked softly against his oak door, hoping to drop off the knowledge she had gathered on the streets and leave early, not needed until the heist meeting later that day.

When he had not answered, she had rapped her knuckles against the wood a little more sharply, then pushed open the door a crack.

She couldn't believe it when she observed you and her boss limp on the sofa, your head facing his way, and his lolling in your direction because you had been looking at each other, slow blinks hindering your view until you had drifted off.

He had forced his eyes to stay open just a little longer, if only so he could appreciate you for a small increment of time more.

Her eyes had widened comically and she instantly knew what she had to do. She shut the door carefully behind her, and tiptoed to each of the Crow's rooms individually.

Jesper groaned and held his pillow over his head, attempting to block out the noise.

"Jes, get up, you need to see this."

For Nina, she needed a slightly stronger approach. She needed to get them up quickly, she wasn't certain when you would wake. So, the Heartrender was woken by a nice cup of water to the face.

She spluttered as she came to her senses and Inej hushed her before she could shriek in shock.

"Meet in front of Kaz's office. There's something you've got to see." She hissed.

Once Matthias and Wylan were awake and up, they met up and Inej put a finger to her lips as she opened the door.

Nina spotted you immediately and awwed breathily, Jesper and the others following her gaze before simultaneously gasping.

Nina heard your heartbeat quicken and ushered them out, your eyebrows furrowing as you woke to fragmented whispers from what seemed to be down the hallway.

You decided Kaz should sleep in so snuck out of the room and to yours, dressing before jogging down the stairs to breakfast.

When you entered, the chatter abruptly stopped and your head cocked to the side, curious as to if you were being left out of anything.

Suddenly, a snicker was heard and you snapped your eyes to Jesper, who continued to chuckle before speaking.

"Having a good time with the Boss, were we?"

You groaned audibly as you realised they must have witnessed your moment together, ran a hand over your face and sat on a chair, muttering to yourself all the while.

"Kaz will not like this..."

"Not like what?"

He sounded concerned, it flimsily masked and laughter broke out again as you blushed, embarrassed.

"It's too early for this, guys."

"Hmm, you could always take a nap in Kaz's office?" Was Nina's teasing response, no hesitation in her tone.

Kaz's face hardened into the one he used during business, and when he spoke, his voice was cold as stone, "None of you will speak of this."

"Ever." He reiterated, making sure they understood.

As soon as he left, the snickering restarted and now you too joined in, finding the soft Kaz from the evening before and early morning hours of that day so contrasting to the one you had just seen.

The Crows would consistently burst into his office in the mornings after that incident, and Kaz became more alert, although never able to stop himself from falling asleep under the sun.

Usually, he would manage and as soon as they left, he would drop the facade and his head would gradually drop toward his chest, then he would shake out his limbs in an attempt to stay conscious.

You would wake as it happened and would either call his name quietly, or prance downstairs to grab him a coffee. It would rarely be black, instead you added just a tad of milk to sweeten the liquid.

Your shared advantage with Kaz was that they did not know you fell onto the sofa together monthly, and had only caught you together a few times.

At every opportunity they had in the Slat, they would poke fun and jest jokingly about you and Kaz.

Jesper would wink at you suggestively and you'd only drop your head into the table, Inej sometimes placing her hand between before your forehead smacked down.

She teased you a lot less than the others did, so glad for Kaz after knowing of some of his hardship, but would still join in with her own little quips now and then.

Even Nina and Matthias knew not to bring up the situation in public or in the Crow Club. You could be used against Kaz, and he would never want that, believing it could be one of the only things to break him.

Almost daily, you would end up asleep, head and neck supported by a cushion on top of the table.

And almost daily, Kaz would find his heart melting at the sight of you feeling comfortable enough to sleep and be at your most vulnerable with him.

It was a form of love only you shared, and it was beautiful in its own way.

Most importantly, almost daily, Kaz found himself promising you to wake you, all while beginning the crossing of his fingers.

And ankles. Just in case.

[recklessmark]

chapter six: come to your love

—from DISCRETION series

Summary: you incidentally met a notorious CEO and your gut told you that you must claim this man. and even the fact that he’s engaged to someone else didn’t stop you from achieving what you want.

Pairings: CEO! Mark x Designer! Reader

Warnings: none

Words: 1384

—previous: chapter five-distraction

“Is there a problem?”, Mark stops at the red light, his fingers tapping on the wheel.

“I’m having a fashion show in France”, you say casually, “This is my first show of wedding dress.”

Suddenly Mark feels there’s something wrong, he narrows his eyes at you. “First show? I thought you only make wedding dress?”

You tilt your head, smiling at him. “Is it because you didn’t investigate properly or I cover everything up too well?”

You don’t care what type of clothing is that, as long as you have a muse, it will simply be given your brand name tag. And if you’re being honest, everything was planned so that you’re the designer for Yeri, you didn’t mean to ruin the wedding or anything, it’s just an excuse for you to see Mark more frequently. He doesn’t answer you though, continues driving until you stop at a restaurant.

Following him inside the restaurant, the staffs there all display an astonished look when they see you.

“Mr Lee, we have prepared everything as you demanded.”, a waitress said. He nods slightly before stepping inside.

“You and Yeri come here regularly huh?”, you walk faster to catch up with Mark.

“Why would you ask?”

“They’re all shocked, they must be wondering why a beautiful girl like me is here with you instead of your fiancé!”, you give him a side glance.

Walking inside the booked VIP room, you angrily pull out a chair to sit down, you face says it all. Mark knows for certain that you never want to be a rebound let alone going to a restaurant that he always goes with his future wife.

“Look at yourself, you still think you’re beautiful looking like that?”, he mocks you.

You confidently dart your eyes at him, “Of course, if I ever look pathetic, I am still pathetically mesmerized!”

Mark can’t help but giggles at you. His eyes don’t leave you, the girl in front of him has completely lived in his head rent free. He can not focus on anything recently, although Mark looks like he doesn’t care but deep down inside he‘s craving to see you. Since when a man like him has to make up something as an excuse of taking the wedding dress for Yeri just to see you. Even when he’s on his way to your place, he can’t stop thinking about you, your eyes, your smile, your voice. You were right, Yeri totally can’t compare to you whatsoever. When he saw you, all tired like that, he felt there was something breaking his heart. He has always wanted to see if there’s a day an arrogant person like you lose her confidence but when he finally witnessed it, he felt like he’s torturing himself.

You are eating like you’ve been starving for ages, unconscious about your surroundings, just shove everything into your mouth recklessly.

Mark looks at you, “Don’t you worry that you’re ruining your image to me?”

You aren’t even bothered to look up, “Is there anything else of me that you haven’t seen? My image to you is not important anymore.”, you stop a little, “You should get used to it so when we live together, you won’t be shocked.”

He has to admit he’s lost this game to you, totally lost, voluntarily lost. You’re too adorable and too cruel that he can’t help but fall in love with you, Mark didn’t know that there’s a day he loves someone.

You put the chopsticks down, “I’m sleepy.”, you can barely open your eyes.

He comes across the table, “Okay, let’s go to sleep.”, his hand runs through your hair.

Something pops up on your mind, the scene of you and Mark in your office. He glances at you, seeing your ears and your cheeks are now bright red, he smirks.

“I’ll let you choose a position.”, he whispers into your ears.

You gulp, his breath on your ear sends shivers down your spine. You push him to the side, quickly run out the hall, waiting for him to purchase.

You take your phone out to check the time, a call pops up on your lock screen, you frown. “Hello?”

“All the flight to France will be cancelled tomorrow due to the blizzard. We have to go this afternoon.”, you can hear that Alicia is apparently on the rush.

“Pick me up in two hours.”

You hang up as you see a cab nearby. You send Mark a quick text so that he won’t be worried.

—

Mark was busy with tons of work, he’s been practically living in his office, utterly forgot that there’s only theee days left due his wedding with Yeri. Since the day he visited you, she didn’t find him once. He puts his pen down, stretching his shoulders. You still haven’t called Mark, it was the first time someone had a gut to abandon him.

All of a sudden, the telephone on his desk rings, “Yes?”

“Ms Kim...she wants to see you, she’s messing up everything here.”, Mark’s assistant speaks nervously on the phone.

He rings off the call instantly and walks outside. There’s only a few days but Yeri looks completely different, she lost some weights, her eyes glinting with rage and vexation. Catching Mark’s strolling outside the office, she immediately speaks to him.

“Mark Lee! You’re cheating on me, aren’t you?”

Mark’s ego is just the same as yours, or it could even be bigger. There was no one dare to point a finger at his face and talk to him like that.

“You’ve done?”

Yeri always builds a tender image for herself, in order to keep Mark beside her. But anger is blurring her mind at the moment, turning the woman into her real being.

“Don’t think that you can be with that bitch behind my back, the wedding is due in three days, there’s no way I’ll let you two together!”

His patience has gone when you were being shamed like that, he can’t stand this woman going off on him, flattering herself.

“Kim Yeri, I hope that you can use your brain and think carefully. One, fuck off and wait for the wedding day...or two, you know there’s nothing that I can’t do, this wedding is not that important either.”

Mark truly means it if Yeri keeps acting like this, he will make her regret for the rest of her life. The woman tightens her fists, walks out of his office without a word.

—

In France

You decided to do the show at your villa, somewhere familiar to you. Most of the guests have already arrived.

“Quel est le problème?” (Is there any problem?), Alicia wanders around checking everything. You follow her, seeing the models with your designs, you smile in pride feeling like you’ve accomplished something.

Quickly all the white lights are replaced with the sky blue color, painting the atmosphere with romance and sentiment. One by one, the models with gorgeous Western wedding dresses walk on the stage, keeping the guests on the edge of their seats.

Inside the changing room, your face darken, “Flowers? Where are they?!”, Alicia yells.

You take out a piece of fabric with the beige color in the drawer, cut it into smaller pieces and braid them together. You don’t have much time, you have to walk out with the vedette. When the last model performs, Alicia almost cries, “Y/N, you’ve done yet?!”

“Alright!”, you swipe the sweat on your forehead, giving your handmade bouquet a last look before hand it to the vedette.

When you walk on the stage, your naturally mesmerizing charisma magically overweighs the model beside you. All the guests stand up as give you an admirable applause.

“Y/N, everything was fantastic, you’re a genius!”

When the show has ended, Mrs Moren with her husband come to talk to you. You smile softly at the middle aged woman, “Thank you, uhm I’m so sorry but can we meet up again someday?”

“What’s wrong?”, she questions.

“My love is getting married, I have to steal him back, he’s my life.”

Mrs Moren smiles when she sees you talking about your love, your face brightens up, your eyes glinting sparkles. You remind her when she fell in live with her husband.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay, come to your love.”

©️  DREAMYKRAM. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

taglist: @nuoyii @jjikyuu @keemburley @skrtbeepbeep @sunshinedhyuck @jenotation @cloudykeiji @generantionct (i can not tag you)

[linothinker]

⸻ 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁 !

𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 10k.

𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 yang jeongin x female!reader.

𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘/𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗧 fluff, high school au, fake crush, popular girl!reader, classmates to lovers.

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 mentions of alcohol consumption.

𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦 where jeongin gets involved in a bet in the hands of the popular girl, who pretends to be in love with him in a month to break his heart at the new year's party. he doesn’t remember how everything started and falls into her trap, she doesn’t realize that this time the one who falls in love isn’t her victim.

𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 it makes me so happy to know that i’m participating with so many amazing writers. i wanted to try a different timeline style i hope it’s not so rough to read. above all, i hope you enjoy it as much as i did. please check out the rest of them here! 🧡

𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜.ㅤRed cheeks, lips swollen from kissing and tousled hair from pulling it. That was the only memory you had of him. That night things became a little different from what you expected, and for him who had never approached you to speak even by accident.

"There is only one rule" Your friend repeated the conditions of that challenge that you were going to take for money. That was how it all began, after he kissed you at the Halloween party. "He can't know that is a challenge until it's over".

You chuckled, being so easy that you couldn't believe that the prize was actually abundant. As much empathy and good faith as you may have, you didn’t know the boy who fell into your trap. You didn't know Yang Jeongin. You didn't care.

“Everyone’s attending the Christmas party this year" She continued encouraging. "You will be ready to break his heart and be single for all who will be waiting for you".

Just as she said, dozens of guys were trying something with you by doing the stupidest things every day, what difference would it make to break their hearts and to break his? It sure was just like all of them.

You had four weeks to seduce Jeongin and have him believe it. You bumped your friend's fist into the expectant eyes of everyone around you, waiting for you to approach him. "Deal". 

Your steps for the first time were directed in his direction voluntarily, adjusting the strap of your backpack to pretend to have problems with your books. You needed a classic to trigger this story, and that's how you accidentally collided with him in the hallway.

Your belongings scattered on the floor, and you automatically reached down to pick them up. You noticed how someone else crouched, raising your head to find Jeongin helping you. His appearance impeccable and neat unlike that night.

"I'm sorry" He muttered, avoiding eye contact as he put the papers that had slipped out of the books back into them. "I didn’t see you".

You smiled, settling your things in your arms while looking at him provocatively. "Well, I don't really see your regret" You got up at the same time, the difference in height now not giving you much prepotency. "You’ll have to get me something".

He looked at you with a blank expression, doubting for a moment what you meant. "Is this how popular girls get slaves?" He asked blatantly. 

You laughed at his daring, looking at him with a smile. "I was going to say get me a seat next to you, but you choose".

He pursed his lips in an awkward smile, clearly not related to this kind of situation. "No, it would be better if your friends don't see me with you" He looked over at your group that was observing everything, turning around without being discreet at all. "Look where you walk".

You gasped out a laugh, watching him turn around after rejecting your offer. Your friends were quick to approach you, questioning about it since it hadn't seemed to go very well. "What was that?"

"He... doesn’t remember me?" You looked at your friend in disbelief. This was not a good start. "I don't know, he just left".

The grimace on your face and your eyes resting on his figure that disappeared in the distance showed how confused you were. How narcissistic would it sound to say that it was the first time this had happened? Boys didn’t reject you after kissing you!

You wouldn’t leave it like that. Maybe you would have to get off your cloud a little bit to get this turned around. But, what kind of reputation would you maintain if you let any other child show disinterest in you?

You had to take this seriously, but you had to do it smoothly. Therefore, you had to put on your best performance. Lunch time became a door to multiple possibilities, especially when it came to socializing.

You were determined to shake up that embarrassing meeting in the hallways, observing Jeongin’s figure on one of the tables. With a confirmation of glances between your friends and you, you simply took your tray and approached him, taking the empty seat.

His eyes followed you as you did so, putting food back into his mouth as he judged you with his gaze. Just as you hadn't forgotten the crash, he hadn't either, only for different reasons that now led to a simple but offensive question.

"Are you chasing me?" He asked, wanting to make sure his ideas were correct.

"I'm just having lunch" You defended yourself, opening the packaging of your salad.

"And why don't you go with your friends?"

"They don't want to hang out with me anymore" You lied.

He nodded, chewing. "It must be because you are around me".

You stared at him with his words, frowning. He didn't look back at you and just kept eating relaxed, not caring at all about your presence. "Why are you so cruel with yourself?"

His eyes still haven't found yours. "People with reputations like you make others feel that way" He explained shortly.

Looking at him was like looking at a blank sheet of paper, but his words held harsh wisdom. Where did this boy come from? You wanted to deny his assumption, but you preferred to just stop focusing on yourself.

"You don’t have friends?" You asked innocently, wanting to know the root of his loneliness in the breaks. The answer was quite obvious but he still noticed that your tone wasn’t mocking.

He swallowed hard before answering. "They already graduated".

“Oh, right” You put a portion of food in your mouth too, remembering now the group of boys he was with, and seeing them last year in the hallways. "Then you are used to hang out with older people".

"Is that good?" He asked.

"Could be" You feigned mystery with your tone. "You can act more mature for your age" You explained. "Or you can be a spoiled baby".

He smiled awkwardly in response, the side of his cheek sinking sweetly even though that wasn’t his intention. You smiled as well, continuing with your lunch without putting him under questioning. So, he was the baby of his group. 

 You knew you could do something to soften that awkwardness, but you didn't know exactly what it was. You knew that if he had wanted to get up and go to another of the empty tables he would have done so, but he didn’t.He really didn't remember you?

You had to be careful, but above all, a little slower than normal. Maybe you couldn't wait for him to show up behind you after a party like everyone used to.

Attracting Yang Jeongin would be a more difficult task than planned, but luckily for you, that wasn't the only complication in between. Why luckily? You may ask. This broad-shouldered little man with a delicate face was not doing so well in math.

The moment the professor gave permission for the rest of classmates to sit together to do the assigned work you looked around, noticing that not only your friends had already got together but that they were uneven. Staying aside has never been so convenient.

With a wink from your friend you took your workbook and got up from your desk, approaching the free place next to Jeongin. He was so focused on his book that he hardly noticed when you approached, or maybe he ignored it. You wouldn't know.

His head lifted when he felt someone was standing next to him. He met your gaze and robotically blinked. "Can I do this job with you?" You asked holding the book against your chest.

He just shrugged, looking around quickly. "Do you have another option?"

You sat down carefully so that your uniform didn’t fold, approaching him with the chair after opening the page you had to work on. You didn't want to do anything invasive, you noticed how as you indicated something his eyes simply evaded yours.

His fingers taking the pencil were restless, as if he didn’t know how to do something as simple as writing. The scent of your fragrance reminded him of sweet caramel, and it was harder for him to pull away even though he wanted to. It was familiar for him and he didn't know why.

It didn't take you long to realize that your closeness made him nervous, and taking advantage of this, you decided to do the movement you came to do. Wetting your lips you smiled, looking away from the book to look directly at him.

"What’s wrong? Does math make you sweat?" You joked when you noticed the thin shiny layer on his forehead.

He was quick to bring the back of his free hand to it, cleaning it up before it got gross. You just laughed, observing him in more detail. "Yes, functions are not my thing" He confessed, not wanting to divert the conversation.

You leaned a little closer, laughing again. "Good thing they are mine".

You nimbly took the pencil from between his fingers, brushing his hand more than necessary and making him sigh audibly. You smiled with satisfaction, going back to the book, continuing with the exercise that was supposedly difficult for him.

You could show off your strong point that used to be so boring at other times, marveling the boy next to you. There wasn’t room to even doubt whether there was an error in your writing on his notebook, annihilating the calculations.

His eyes swept over the work one last time before handing it in, fascinated with the fact that most of it was to your credit. He couldn't have done it alone, clearly.

As it was no longer a big deal for you, you believed that sitting with him had been the step forward you had taken, but little did you know that who was going to take it would be him. 

The only thing holding him back from precisely holding you out of the classroom was how curt he had acted with you on previous occasions, doubting whether or not he should talk to you.

With both hands on the straps of his backpack he observed you hesitantly after crossing the door in front of him, glancing behind to make sure your friends weren't around, and taking courage to get closer.

He reached out his arm to pat your shoulder but didn't dare to touch you, bringing that hand to his head awkwardly. "Y/n" He called your name, regretting it the exact second you turned around. "I―Uhm".

"What happen?" Your curled lashes and sparkling eyes made him stutter automatically.

He was notoriously fighting with himself. "I don't know how to ask this without sounding like a weirdo" He muttered under his breath. "You know, maths―You're doing too well".

You held the smile on your lips when you heard him, knowing where he was going. That was unexpected but it was more useful than what you had been doing.

"It’s too easy for you and I'm not getting good grades" Jeongin pointed out.

Now you did smile. "Do you want me to help you with the exams?" You saved him the question.

The weight on his shoulders eased. It was less embarrassing if you said it. "If you have time, the last exams are very important".

You laughed at his avoidance of eye contact, even after that class. "I would love to" You agreed. "I have free time after last period" You reported. "Find me in the library or you lose me".

With a quick wink that left him flustered you turned back, walking down the hall as he should have been doing too if he hadn't froze. What was happening? Why was the pretty girl nice to him? 

Were you making fun of him in front of your friends? He checked behind him again to make sure it wasn't, and after noticing that they weren't there laughing, he froze again. That had been weird. And easy.

But that was your point, you already had him captured. Now you must devour him.

𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜.ㅤAt least the second week didn't start as offensively as the first. The situation was softening slowly, but surely. You never believed that something as simple as some mathematical calculations would be your tool to get money.

You were very into your role, and apparently, Jeongin too. Your most logical thought when analyzing the situation was to believe that he was simply being responsible for the time he was taking from you.

A girl like you sure would have a thousand better things to do than tutor a classmate! He had to make you feel like it was really worth it.

You would never know that he was practicing things before you got to the library so it wouldn't be so difficult for him when you showed up, nor that classes were possibly the most entertaining thing of his day. If it wasn’t for music class, it probably would be.

The cold still took you by surprise when it came to moving from a warm classroom to the cold large library. Luckily, Jeongin cooperated. Unfortunately for your plan, Jeongin cooperated.

He was very strict with himself and followed things to the letter, not even giving you a space to talk or comment on something other than the homework you were doing. You've dated selfish, narcissistic guys who gave you more room to flirt than he did.

You took the pencil with both hands to play with it, giving a pause to the activities. Jeongin's eyes went up to yours with curiosity. "If you do well on that exam, you will have to reward me, don't you think?"

"Paying you is not enough?"

You could only laugh at the innocence of him. "I don't want money" You lied.

He looked at you in confusion, unable to take your hint. "And what do you want?" He muttered.

He was in the chair next to you, giving you the chance to observe his face in such detail. His features were pretty up close. How ironic to say that. "Jeongin, you never had a girlfriend or what?" You sighed your words. 

He understood now. He just shook his head, feeling tense from one moment to the next. When your hand released one end of the pencil and moved closer to his hair, that was when his heart finally began to beat fast.

"Do you know how to start with that?" You asked, straightening the treacherous lock of long hair that hung in front of his little eyes. “You meet a girl, maybe at a party or something like that..." You were a bit indiscreet. "You ask her out, discover you have things in common, you like each other..."

The trail of your gaze across his face when talking made him so nervous that even if he had wanted to respond to your words, he could not have done so. This wasn't real, it didn't make sense for you to hint at him.

He might be the class loser, but he wasn't stupid. "I'm sorry, that’s not for me" He cleared his throat, turning his head and causing you to remove your hand. "I need to focus on school".

Without letting you add another comment he closed the books, dragging the chair back along with his backpack and disappearing like nothing. You grunted in frustration, feeling like you had been too daring. So this was really difficult.

You had told him what you wanted to his face and he had escaped, now he would know it all! He possibly would never appear in that library again. Should you do something to let him know that you really wanted to insist and not give up on him?

Christmas was near, it made sense to give presents ahead of time. What could be better than something that anyone would like and bring out a smile? Everyone liked the little details in their lockers without expecting it at all.

That’s how your eyes remained expectant in the distance, watching from behind Jeongin’s figure opening his locker. Your friends weren't with you this time so you were trying to hide for him not to see you.

He opened the door and scowled, noticing the thin package that had been pushed through the ventilation grill. He took it between his fingers with confusion, analyzing the present with a small smile that he himself didn’t realize had sprouted on his lips.

You shrinked in place when you saw him look to the sides, flattered, smiling with shame to collide with the eyes of the person who would have done it. He just put it away and took the necessary books, heading to class.

At least he hadn't dismissed it believing it was a joke, his reaction had been genuine. You laughed softly, coming out of hiding and heading to the classroom with a warm feeling on your body. Wait, you didn’t use to feel this way.

It was probably just the satisfaction that your plan was working, this was what it was all about. Why else would it be nice for you to see your victim react happily?

You shook your head before entering the classroom, feeling that you had to shake your thoughts to concentrate, automatically observing Jeongin in one of the seats.

You only had to sit behind him for the scent of your perfume to reach his senses, instantly recognizing that fragrance again. The present was covered in it. He had his suspicions about it but was still caught off guard by the recognition.

He clutched his hands to the desk as if his life depended on it, doubting whether he should confront you or not. He glanced at the professor quickly, and turning back he looked at you without saying a word. You raised your head and saw him, arching your brow with a smile.

"Do I have something on my face?"

He gulped, shaking his head and instantly regretting it. He pressed his lips together, muttering something under his breath. "You just smell nice".

"Yang, turn around" The professor ordered, making you wink at Jeongin before he complied with the order. Well, at least he realized it was you.

If it hadn't been for the warning you would have been able to see his rosy cheeks, and his internal fight knowing that you were behind him. He swore he felt your eyes on his neck all the time.

Did you leave him a small gift in his locker? You were really trying something with him and he wasn't misinterpreting your actions? Maybe you weren't conceited just for being popular, were you? 

There would only be one way for the innocent boy to find out, and it was just to do what he would do if you didn't have such a reputation. Accept your kindness and reciprocate it. 

The Christmas decorations were already present in the library, making you feel that time was running out. For Jeongin it was just one more holiday, with no idea what it meant.

That led him to act unconsciously when tutorship continued to take place with you, worrying about your well-being and comfort in front of the weather and the dense days he was putting you through. That's what the reciprocating part was all about. 

His eyes wouldn’t stop resting on your hands and how you tried to find warmth between your legs. The guilt of keeping you in the cold place for math classes made him look for a solution.

"Do you want something hot to drink?" He asked out of nowhere, surprising you since you thought he was totally focused on the notebook in front of him.

"Oh? No, it's okay" You lied, not wanting to waste time. “I’m fine”.

He dipped the side of his lips, not entirely convinced. He put down his pencil and without thinking twice he got up, going in search of something that would keep your body at temperature. You were literally shaking, he wouldn’t let you get sick because of him.

You lifted your head watching him go, coming face to face with a math book and very confusion. Did he go looking for something after you said no? Apparently, since you saw him coming back after a few minutes, placing a cup of hot chocolate in front of you.

You looked at the cup with a pout, feeling that the gesture had been unnecessary, not knowing that it was not the only one. Jeongin stood there for a few seconds, looking at the back of his chair and following your figure.

"Why don't you bundle up in this cold?" He asked, nearly reproaching you for having only a sweater over your uniform. He took the coat from his chair and placed it over your shoulders, making you raise your head and look up at him.

Your round eyes and small lips made him laugh, the image was cute. You had forgotten when was the last time your friends did something like that for you. 

You took the ends of the jacket to snuggle into it. "You don't have to worry about me" You whispered, almost afraid to say something that wasn't accurate. It seemed quite like caring about you, but who knew.

He just shrugged, settling back and taking the pencil between his fingers. "It's that if you get sick you won't be able to continue helping me" He excused himself with a smile so proud that it made you believe for a second that it was just that. 

So, why were you disappointed if you literally told him he didn't have to? You are not gentle and careful with a person who doesn’t have your interest! He could have gone on with the homework without giving a damn.

You couldn't believe you were the one avoiding eye contact now, glancing sideways at his face as you drank the chocolate whille he concentrated on writing. His profile was worthy of admiration, and for some reason now you recognized it.

You didn’t know what it was that you felt while you were by his side, with his jacket and with the drink he had brought you, but it made you feel strange. It made you feel what it would be like if the situation was real. What would it be like to date him for real.

He was supposed to be the one imagining those things, why were you the one fantasizing about a soft,cute boyfriend in high school? This was starting to get weird.

𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜𝗜.ㅤThree weeks felt like an eternity. You thought the days would go by quickly, but since you concentrated on the moments you spent with Jeongin you began to realize how much time you spent with him. You didn't even remember when was the last break you shared with your friends.

Starting to have a little more time alone allowed you to let him trust you and stop being so strict. With it, talk about more than functions and equations. You discovered that he was very passionate about music, which caught your attention after you thought of him as a quiet or shy person.

Imagining him on stage singing was a bit strange, so it wasn't until you could actually hear him sing that you got a taste of what it was like. Surprisingly, you weren't the one who noticed that he was in the music room after class.

It seemed weird not having found him in the hallways, so when you saw your group of friends accumulated at the door of said room it felt even more suspicious. 

"What are you doing?" You asked, making them turn around and look at you.

Even they looked surprised that you were talking to them after so many days without doing it. "Your boyfriend is in there alone" One of the boys reported. "We should scare him to go run with you, don't you think?"

You frowned, suddenly feeling angry about it. "No" You denied it completely. Why would they do something like that? 

You leaned out the window, meddling in between your friends and making them move to see. There was Jeongin, practicing what seemed to be a song on the piano, unable to hear or know what was happening on the other side of the door. 

"Don't bother him" You threatened, approaching the doorknob to pull it but being stopped by the response of another of your friends.

His smug laugh bursted before his comment. "Why? Do you really like him now?"

You just chuckled at his accusation. "Annoying him was not part of the challenge" You defended, incredulously. "Leave him alone".

You wouldn’t say it twice, and it wasn’t necessary to make your friends just walk away. Your eyes penetrating them as they walked down the hall were more than enough to assure that they wouldn't walk into that classroom to do something stupid.

It was you who finally came in, surprising the tall boy. He turned around and saw you, shrinking in place. "What are you doing here?"

"Not even a hello, how are you?" You joked, laughing as you leaned against the door to close it behind you. 

"I'm sorry, you just surprised me" He apologized, watching you get closer. "But what are you doing here? We weren't going to study today".

You smiled, crossing your arms over your chest. "I don't join you just to study, Jeongin".

"You don’t?" He whispered.

You laughed again, biting your lip and just sitting next to him. "You sing?" You asked, looking at the sheet music in front of him.

"No, I was just playing" He tried to avoid the possibility of doing it in front of you at all costs.

He wouldn’t fool you so easily. "That didn't sound like just playing".

"Were you listening to me?"

You wrinkled your nose, guilty. "Just a little bit" You confessed. "Come on, let me hear you!"

He inhaled deeply, clearing his throat and knowing he had no escape. With a tight smile, he simply dropped his fingers on top of the keys and began to form the melody he had played earlier.

Now it was firmer, more honest somehow. His voice was something you didn't know you'd like to hear, and that you wouldn’t know how much you'd like it until you did.

You paid attention to him as if you were listening to the very original piece with your headphones on, feeling as fascinated as the time he was amazed by your math skills. No, much more than that. 

It was like hearing a complete artist in just one piano performance in a small music room. How could his voice be so sweet and yet so elaborate? He had a clear handling and vocal knowledge. How could you not have heard him before?

Something didn’t match at the time, and you realized it was how fast your heartbeat was next to the rhythm of the song when it began to descend even further, approaching the end. Did you just stay there with a smile listening to him the whole time?

You had stayed there looking at him with a smile the whole time, a smile that disappeared in the exact second that he raised his head from the keys to turn to look at you. Your eyes connected with a deep silence.

You gulped, feeling intimidated by his gaze and the closeness between both. You didn't know why, but your eyes dropped to his lips. A quick memory of how they felt at that party came back to your head like a flash.

You needed to feel it again, it was the only thing that was going through your mind. You needed to get closer and savor his innocence like that first time. You needed to corrupt his shy being with your mouth.

But you couldn't. The sound of students passing down the hall brought you back to reality, lowering your heads uncomfortably at the same time. Jeongin reacted to what almost happened, and with a bit of embarrassment he just leaned back.

"And to think that that's how we met" You murmured, unable to believe that you weren't capable of taking a small step. 

He couldn't understand what you said, but he heard something. "What?"

You laughed in shame, preferring not to generate trouble with your words. You cleared your throat, bringing your hands to your lap to get up. "Sorry, your voice is so beautiful" You said clearly and loudly now. 

You moved to the side, looking out the window and remembering how you ended up in this situation. You sighed, feeling heavy for some reason. He watched you with concern, feeling just as tense.

"Don't let them bother you" You said, clasping your hands in front of you restlessly. "They are just losers". 

He smirked, more like a grimace than a real smile. He didn't know how to answer that, but as you headed for the door again it was him who muttered something under his breath. "We understand each other".

You slowed down, hanging your arm on the door frame before crossing it. "No, don’t say that" You denied, making him look at you. "You are much cooler than them".

Just like that, leaving him with a smile and an agitated heart again, you disappeared down the hall like the rest. How curious, apparently you did care about Yang Jeongin. Why weren't you surprised about it?

You understood that you had spent enough time with him for your charade to feel natural, but there was something else. There was a kind of feeling that you couldn't describe. 

It appeared particularly in moments where he demonstrated not caring about whether you would do or say something reminding him that guys like him didn't hang out with girls like you. Where he seemed to forget that there was a reputation involved because you made him believe that there was no such. 

Perhaps that was what led him to be bold on certain occasions, repenting when it was already too late. Jeongin could read your language, you didn't just want friendship with him. That was the condition, right?

What could stop him from having love gestures with you if you were the one who caused them to happen? 

The waiting line for lunch was endless, leaving both standing around like everyone else but feeling more bored than usual. Jeongin was behind you, his eyes circling the place back and forth hundreds of times.

It was when they stopped at your dangling hands that he automatically thought of something. Why didn't he know how it felt to take them yet?

He looked at you from behind, double-checking that you were distracted so he could pretend it was an accident if you reacted strangely. His fingers were close to yours, so his fingertips came into contact with the back of your hand. 

He slid them down to the curvature so he could take it, but just when you turned your head feeling his touch the voices of your friends behind you made him remove it. 

You looked behind him at the group, and without thinking twice you took his hand completely by your own. Your fingers delved between his, gripping it firmly behind you as you turned to face forward again.

His long figure made it possible to hide the view of the people behind him, so the small smile on his lips was inevitable to hold. It felt delicate, soft, almost as if it gave him satisfaction to hold you. 

You didn't care if they saw you, your other hand even slipped behind too, taking his with both to keep him close as the line advanced. You liked his company. It pleased you to know that there was someone who cared about you and that loving gestures were born inside them from the simple fact of being by your side.

Maybe it was the fact that Jeongin was one of the first people who showed no beneficial interest in getting close to you, and that made you forget that it was actually you who had other kinds of interests. 

Remembering it at the wrong times led you to over-think it like now, for example, that it wouldn't stop making a noise in your head despite wanting to concentrate on not letting go of his hand. 

Why did you suddenly feel so bad and guilty? 

"I need to talk about something with you" You suddenly turned around, staring up at him.

He widened his eyes, watching you a little surprised. He looked over you at the clear delay you still had. "Tell me".

You sighed, releasing his hands just so you didn't put any pressure on him. He didn't want you to do it, feeling dissatisfied when you let him go, but unable to do anything about it.

You arranged your hair, looking at him. This was going to be a bit awkward. “Do you remember my best friend's Halloween party?” You asked. “That you went with your older friends?"

He nodded, the torturous memories of the tiredness and boredom his friends put him through returning to his mind. Jeongin didn’t use to go out, and that opportunity had arisen after days of insistence on the part of his group. "I never had a worse night" He laughed forcibly, confessing his thoughts.

The kind smile that you had put on your face just fell to the floor, making you swallow hard. Oh, this was definitely beyond awkward. 

You were paralyzed staring at him, not knowing how to proceed with your doubt after this. How were you supposed to ask him if he remembered kissing you after that? Was he drunk? Jeongin kissed you without being aware of it? 

"What's wrong with it?" He asked, snapping you out of your paralysis.

"Nothing―I" You laughed, turning around shamelessly and shaking your hand as if it didn't have the importance it really did. "I just wanted to know something about your friends but I mistaked the person" You lied.

"Okay" Hw whispered, not seeing anything wrong with your mistake, but now he was disappointed that he lost his grip on your hand. He simply kept his hands in his pockets, he would no longer have the courage to do it again. 

And you wouldn't have the courage to confront him about it. This couldn't be real. So, he didn't consider that party as the starting point. Didn't Jeongin remember that he approached you that night?

It was important because that would mean he believed you had an interest in him from then on, but, it would also make sense if you only approached him one day out of nowhere. Wasn't that so? 

Oh hell, this was too confusing. But not as confusing as trying to act like that never happened. 

The debate in your head from then on doubled― No, it tripled. If you already felt that the voice in your head was loud every time you thought of Jeongin, now you could appropriately say that it stunned you.

All you had to do was go down those stairs in search of him to share another of the breaks like nothing, but the only thing you could think about was that that night had been totally different for both of you.

Red cheeks, lips swollen from kissing and tousled hair from pulling it. That was the memory you had of him. That night things became a little different from what you expected, and for him who had never approached you to speak even by accident.

You remembered how his friends were around him one moment and the next, in the midst of the colored lights, he was with his lips pressed on yours. If you tried hard enough you could feel how soft they were, but you no longer remembered if he was a good kisser or not. You wanted to know. Why did you want to know?

It was the second time you thought about willingly kissing him, and it was already getting out of hand. How curious to say that once you got to the bottom of the stairs, getting surprised with the boy who was breaking into your mind. And into your way.

Your eyes and his met before you could go down the last step, and they automatically fell into each other's hands. You were carrying two boxes of milk with the intention of using one to break the ice, while he was carrying two sandwiches that hardly seemed to be both for him.

You looked up again, nervously deciphering each other's purpose with a shy laugh. "I was looking for you" You confessed.

He pursed his lips into a smile, handing you one of the sandwiches in hand. "Me too".

You smiled and accepted it, in the same way giving him the box. "Do you still want to have lunch with me?" You playfully asked. You were actually very scared of his answer.

"Why wouldn’t I?" He moved a little closer so as not to disturb the way of the people coming down, being the first time your heights were leveled.

"I thought it made you uncomfortable" You shrugged, remembering how he reacted when your friends were around. "Whenever someone sees us, you act differently".

He didn't think the conversation would turn so serious all of a sudden, so he was just as honest. “You're still the popular girl" He explained his attitude to you. "The rest of the school sees it as something weird..."

His voice dropped precisely because he lowered his head while a group of girls came down next to you two and murmured covering their mouths. You sighed, bringing your hand to his chin and gently lifting his head. "Forget about that, they are just people who don't have a life and care about ours".

He looked into your eyes so worriedly that you knew his next words were totally true. "And you don't care what they say about you?" He cooed.

You frowned after hearing him, preferring not to give him an exaggerated gesture that wouldn’t work as a concrete answer and deciding to do so. You brought both objects to one of your hands to have the other totally free, and take a better grip on his face. 

"Do you think I would do this if I cared?" You asked, not even giving him time to question what it was when your lips came to press on his cheek.

The small smear of lip ink left more than obvious proof of what you had done, but the eyes around you still witnessed it. Jeongin's got so wide that you thought you broke him. 

You giggled at his reaction, taking his arm and going down the step so that you could continue with the path you were following. He blinked repeatedly, not understanding what had happened, just moving his legs because you were dragging him behind you with his outstretched arm.

Hell, his heart was beating so fast and his face felt so hot. He couldn't even realize he was flustered. This was not normal. Jeongin didn't have to feel so dejected by your actions.

Something told him that you were not only leading him into the empty classroom, but into a dead end. So did it feel to be totally captivated by someone?

𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗩.ㅤWhat could be so chaotic in a span of seven days? Christmas was already in the air and no, it wasn't because of the snow. The melancholic, nostalgic, familiar feeling was present.

But also the youthful, the euphoric and impatient for fun. That side of teenagers that made them such. You were determined to create a better party experience than the last one.

That's what this was all about, getting to the Christmas party with Jeongin. 

You were approaching him with cautious steps now, having a cookie in your hand that replaced your breakfast and surprising him from behind. "What will you wear to the party?" You jumped on his shoulder subtly, making him turn his head and look at you. 

He smiled automatically, deciding to be realistic with you. "Oh, I'm not going to that party" He informed, arranging his books and putting away the necessary ones so as not to leave them abandoned in the break. 

Your smile disappeared in that instant, dropping the cookie out of your lips. "What? Why?"

You couldn't see the scowl on his lips but it was more than obvious. "I don't like going out" He explained. "I always get bored".

You relaxed your shoulders when remembering what you had recently discovered, and without hesitation you concretized the star movement of your challenge. "And if you come with me?" You offered what seemed pretty obvious at this point. "You will have company and fun guaranteed all night!"

He laughed, finally closing the door and turning to see you. "You think?"

You nodded decisively. "Come on, you have to relax after those tough exams".

His eyes closed remembering it. "Don't even mention it, I don't want time to go by to go take them" He looked at his watch, feeling nervous when he realized that it was not as far as before. 

"Did you sleep well? Did you have breakfast?" The doubt of his preparation crossed your head instantly. 

He grimaced again. "I slept enough and didn't eat because I was going to throw up" His eyes widened with his honesty.

You frowned and extended the cookie in his direction, having the option of letting him take it in his hand but insisting that he open his mouth. Of course, he looked at you confused.

"What is that?" He asked.

"Christmas cookies, what do you think?" You huffed and insisted that he eat it. "Come on, I baked them, they're great!" 

He just opened his mouth, taking the piece and smiling sheepishly for letting you feed him. He covered his mouth as he laughed, having to confirm what you said. "They are really good".

"I know" You said proudly, glancing at the clock and remembering the key ring that you used for the exams. You removed one of the strips from your backpack and carried it in front of you to detach it. You took it off and gave it to him, not even thinking about what you were doing. "Here, put it in your backpack!" You indicated. "It will give you good luck!"

He took it between his fingers and smiled with the small object, feeling it cute but having to give you credit for everything you had done.

"I don't think I'll do well because of this, Y/n" He muttered, making you feel disappointed for a few seconds. Didn't he believe in luck? "I'll be fine because you helped me all this time" He clarified, making you smile softly.

A wave of pride spread through your body, he had a good point. "Well, I hope so" You nodded your head, starting to walk away slowly. "Because if not, you were just dating me all this time" You hinted cleverly.

He laughed shyly, staying in place while you walked away. How weird it felt, technically it had been something similar. Just thinking about it made a warm sensation burst inside him.

What if it could be something real? What separated the type of relationship you had from taking another step? It was unbelievable the hit of courage that shook Jeongin, but he just followed in your footsteps. He had to dare to ask.

"Y/n!" He called to reach you, making you turn around at the exact moment the bell rang. Oh no, the exams.

The classroom doors opened, filling the hallways with students. Yes, he was definitely not going to dare to ask now. He smiled awkwardly, settling his backpack. "Good luck!" He changed his words suddenly, making you smile warmly before continuing on your way to the classroom you had to go.

Okay, so now he was committed to assist to that party for you. The strage part was that he felt like your promise to have a good time would be real. This is how it feels to have an interest in someone. You want to go to a place because that person will be there.

His head could only go around that. He didn't even care if he had done well on the exams or not, which was unlikely for him. Everything went around school for Jeongin. You were stronger than that, and if that wasn't a sign, he didn’t know what would be.

His friends were still invited to parties and therefore this wouldn’t be the exception. "Are you sure this is Jeongin?" Jisung, one of his friends, joked seeing him comb his hair in front of the mirror. Meeting them without being dragged or scowling was considered a miracle.

"Check if it's not a robot!" Hyunjin yelled from across the room, causing Jisung to poke him on the sides and clearly earning a playful fight.

"Yo, stop touching me!" The tall boy defended himself, laughing. "Someday I was going to end like you". 

Jisung brought his hand to his chest, feigning commotion. "We are the bad influence" He sobbed falsely.

Jeongin could only laugh inside, knowing full well that this was not the case. He wouldn’t tell them, if they found out that you were the reason why he had agreed so easily and quickly they would never stop bothering him. He still didn't know how he would find you without them seeing. 

The cold of the streets shook his concern a little, trying not to ruin his hair with the falling snow as he walked under the small roofs to reach the destination. Children with their parents and couples among the city lights spread the missing heat.

It was a nice environment, but not as nice as finding you. Rather, that you find him. Everyone knew his group of friends and you weren't far behind, but you didn't care about them when you saw him.

A smile graced your face as you approached, heading straight for him and surprising his friends by knowing who you were too. "Hi!" You said glad and relieved that he was there.

He greeted you with a little shyness, observing their looks next to him and knowing that if it wasn’t for the darkness of the night you would notice how quickly the blood rose to his cheeks. 

You took his hand, determined to take him with you, but making the others laugh. "Hey, he's with us!"

You denied with a smile, starting to walk away. "I'll give him back to you later".

Needless to say, they were shocked with what their little friend had hidden, but now things made a lot of sense. They weren't the bad influence, which was good! But how did his quiet, antisocial friend end up with you a second time? Oh yes, they remembered it.

The music reverberating was loud enough for everyone to feel in the environment but allowed to hear each other to speak. Among that corridor of people you went hand in hand with Jeongin, moving him away from his friends to have him by your side. 

After he confessed that this was not his thing, you just wanted to make him feel comfortable. You just wanted to enjoy the night. For real.

You stopped in a corner when you noticed your group of friends around the drinks, immediately turning around to offer him something. "Do you want something to drink?" You asked excited to believe that you would have some fun in a not so correct way.

He scratched his head nervously, having to tell the truth before forcing himself to something he couldn't tolerate. "I don't drink alcohol" He reported when he noticed the bottles in the distance. 

You laughed softly, being somewhat predictable. "Well, something without alcohol" You clarified.

He nodded with a small smile, holding your hand as you stretched your arm until you really had to let it go. That made him smile more firmly, waiting for you in the distance to avoid meeting your friends. He still felt uncomfortable around them, and it was for a reason.

You approached them with no other intention than to take said drinks, and you greeted after they had seen you. "Hello" You said with the same kindness as always, smiling as you took the clean cups from the stack to fill them.

The pairs of eyes rested on you judgingly, maintaining silence until yours got up to look at them without understanding why they didn’t respond to you. "Do you remember us?" Your friend asked sarcastically, making you chuckle.

How sensitive they were. They literally caused this! "Why wouldn’t I?"

She kept answering. "Because you took the challenge very seriously, don't you think?"

You knew that tone of voice. You knew perfectly well that she was feeling offended by the way you started getting along with Jeongin. You laughed, clearly uncomfortable with her attitude. "What's the problem with that?"

"That it was supposed to be a lie" Her voice was harsh, wanting to highlight something you already knew. She looked you up and down, analyzing you like she couldn't recognize her best friend. "Are you dating seriously or what?" 

You just smiled, taking both full cups and looking back at her. "That's none of your business".

What wasn't anyone else's business either was the scene Jeongin found himself witnessing, having to move after a couple started making out right next to him. He looked at them confused, not understanding how they didn’t notice he was there.

He only took a few steps to sit on the edge of the ladder at his side, this same one separating the end of the room with where he was. On the other side, dangerously, it was where you and your group were talking.

It wasn’t even his intention to hear, rather the voices simply reached his ears. Yours could no longer be heard as you turned around wanting to walk and find him, but your friends' were more than clear.

"I don't know why she's acting like an asshole" Your best friend murmured behind you, watching you walk away.

Another of the guys who were there kept her calm. "Forget it, when she says it to his face, he will go back to being the same fool he was before and will leave her alone" He assured. "She herself knows that her reputation will rise again when this is over".

Jeongin didn't even have to think about it that long. He didn't even have to believe that he had misheard. He didn't even have to believe that he was drawing his own conclusions. It was too obvious. 

He swallowed hard, lowering his head and lifting it only when you passed by. He stared at you, surprising you. You could feel the heat spread in your chest, your heart stopping the second you made eye contact.

You were about to ask if he had heard that, but when he got up with a pained expression and without saying anything, you knew there was no need to ask. You sighed heavily, your eyes closing frustratingly as you set the cups on the first surface within reach. 

"Jeongin, wait" You said with a voice much calmer than you actually were. 

He ignored you, stepping down the step he was and turning to run away. Your friends came up behind you, observing the situation and prompting them to prove their point. 

"You see?" Your best friend's voice made you look at her again. "Why do you care? That was the challenge!"

You looked at her angrily, about to explode. You couldn't believe how someone could be this insensitive. "You guys really are idiots" You shook your head. "Get that money up your ass".

You couldn't keep wasting time, quickly going after Jeongin's footsteps who at this point had gotten far enough that you had to search for him among the people.

You began to despair when you couldn’t find him, but by standing on tiptoe at the right spot you managed to see the jacket he was wearing and recognize him. You accelerated your pace until you reached him, taking his arm before he crossed the door to the patio of the place.

"Jeongin, please give me a minute and let me explain it to you" You begged after stopping him.

His expression was completely serious. "You don't have to explain anything" He refused to hear it, looking over at you as if he could still see your group. "Just go with your friends, you don't have to keep getting close to me".

"No, listen to me" You seemed to order, not giving up. "Please wait and listen to me because those are not my friends".

He swallowed again, feeling that hearing you would be conflicting, but having no other option after you cornered him. Maybe an explanation would leave him calm, maybe it would just make him feel worse. He would only find out after hearing it.

"At that halloween party, the first time we spoke" You put aside your dignity and pride just for him to remember the root of all this. "I didn't think you were going to be the guy who fell".  

The images were hazy in Jeongin's head that now wasn’t at its best, seeming to take a bit of disaster to shake his memory. Suddenly the scenes of that night came back more firmly than before. 

You noticed how he frowned looking away, thinking himself about what you just said. "The first time we spoke, wasn't it at school?" He asked, revealing that he definitely didn’t remember anything of what happened. Or, you thought so. He raised his head and looked at you, fear in his pupils. "Are you the girl who kissed me?" 

You didn’t know whether to feel disappointed that he hadn’t agreed that time because it was you, or if you were relieved that he remembered. He had not fallen for you that day like the others boys. "You don't remember it, do you?" 

He shook his head, ashamed of such a thing. "My friends insisted that I get closer to you and I just played along" He admitted. "I didn't even know how to kiss, how do you think I could even dare to get close to someone like you?"

You bit your cheek, feeling so frustrated hearing his words. You felt so, so silly.

"It was supposed to be a challenge, okay?" You just admitted it. "I agreed to pretend I had a crush on the first guy who wanted to kiss me at that party to get money" You explained. "I admit it because it was stupid, but, you are the kindest, most generous and beautiful person I have ever met!" 

The tone of your words was so honest and yet painful to have to use it as an emergency resource, you really didn't want to lose what you had with him. You didn't know how you were going to pretend that challenge had never been done, but you were just going to do it.

You were going to put money aside and maintain the beautiful relationship that you had created because yes, it had started as something false, but it was genuine! Too bad you couldn't make him understand it.

"You gave a shit about everything around me and the way others treated me when I was with you, and you made me feel like you were letting me be myself all the time!" 

As ironic as it could be right now, the very thing you said was exactly what he had felt. He couldn't believe it was all a performance. He didn't know why, but he couldn't believe you. 

"And that gave you a good amount of money?" He asked nearly in a whisper that you wouldn't have heard if you hadn't kept him close to you. 

"I won't take it, damn it!" You were starting to feel stupid. "You don’t understand it?" You leaned even closer, wanting him to look you in the eye. "It started as a lie but continued as an honest thing, everything I said and did".

He took a breath, sighing. Maybe he couldn't trust you because it made more sense that this was all part of the show as well. From day one he had his suspicions and unfortunately, they couldn’t change.

"I'm sorry" He shook his head, giving you hope that it was an apology for misunderstanding you. You felt like you could remedy it, but he looked at your hand one last time and took a step in reverse.

Your chest clenched when he looked at you again, not exaggerating at all how you felt. You were really fond of it and you were paying the consequences. But so was he.

"You only approached me thanks to a challenge, because you wouldn't do it naturally" He was tough, but realistic. "Just forget it, let's go back to pretending we don't know each other". 

"No―I don't want to" You couldn't finish your sentence without him turning around first, walking away from you without letting you continue to insist. 

He crossed that door out, causing you to follow him but stop as soon as you saw him approach his friends. You no longer had dignity to lose and it was still going to be embarrassing. 

You bit your lip unsure of why it was trembling, understanding that the burning at the level of your nose was from wanting to cry. You just felt like the worst garbage, and just as it was intended, thrown away. 

Is this how it felt every time you rejected someone in the past? No, those guys only approached you for something platonic, you had fallen much deeper than that. Your mistake had been to let Jeongin open up to you instead of having him as just a pretty face that was there when you needed him.

Your hair started to get stippled, filling in with snow that hadn't stopped falling since the afternoon. You couldn't do anything but swallow hard and get what you deserve. You wanted to play with someone's heart, but you were the one who lost.

You dragged your steps like an abandoned dog to the first seat that you found apart from the others, not being able to let people see you in such a deplorable state but not having the energy to leave alone either. 

The callous people you considered your friends had proven to be worse than you thought, and you had shown the only kind person you trusted that you were worse than imaginable.

Up to this point you had never believed that four weeks could be a roller coaster ride, but you realized how the right person can turn any concept upside down. The popular girl who only hung out with reputable people? What the even fuck was that?

You worried about such superficial things to get the best opinion of others on occasions like these, and here you were now, sitting alone outside at the most anticipated Christmas party in school. What a loser.

You didn't even know how long it had been since you walked away, you hadn't taken your phone or paid attention to the people around you. You were only thinking about the lesson you were taking, literally.

It hadn't been worth it at all. 

You wanted to stay with that feeling of seeing him get happy when you approached him. You wanted to stay with how nervous he got with your physical contact. You wanted to stay with how it felt to hold his hand, how cozy it was to entwine your fingers.

You wanted to stay in that moment that he became vulnerable with you, with what he loved the most. You wanted to repeat that moment in the music room as if it was a safe place where you could stay. All those math classes that became an excuse to spend time together alone.

You wanted to feel that you were doing things to trigger a reaction in someone out of self-interest and not because it would bring you a stupid reward, just like when you stayed in the warmth of his coat when he protected you from the cold, sometimes thanks to you forgetting yours on purpose just for him to make a move.

There were many things you thought were going to happen when the clock struck 12, but feeling something on your shoulders was not one of them. The cold had you shivering, red nose and sparkling eyes showing when you raised your head.

You weren't the only one who had over-thought things in that span of time, and seeing Jeongin by your side proved it. The moment he lost sight of you and saw your group of friends laughing and not caring to find you, he knew something was wrong.

He could never sleep if he left without knowing what had really happened. Maybe he wouldn’t like it either, but he needed to be sure before he made a mistake. 

Now he was laying his coat on top of you like that first time in the library, making you feel moved by his actions as well. You just stared up at him the same way, so confused and scared by what was happening. The end of your classic story was not going to be sad?

It took him a few seconds but he sat next to you, bringing his hands to his knees despite wanting to touch you. He just wanted to know the truth. "Why did you accept that challenge?"

His eyes met yours, and it took a lot of effort to respond with such embarrassment you felt. "I thought you kissed me because you liked me" You admitted. "I didn't know you and I thought you were just another kid who approached me at school". 

He sighed, heavily. "But why didn't you just tell me it was a challenge along the way?" He didn’t understand. "Why didn't you tell me the truth and show me that what you kept doing after that was real?"

"I couldn't do it, you just let me keep insisting!" You looked at your hands, ashamed with how right he was. He was who seemed to know how to handle the situation despite being the victim. "You started giving me signals that you were feeling something and it made me feel something too".

His little heart sped up, slightly, but it did. Your words kept making him feel something even without knowing if they were true or not. The regret on your face and attitude made him have hope, but he didn't want to get excited.

He looked you up and down, waiting for you to look back at him. You did it with fear, and your features contorted with grief. "Do you feel something for me?" Jeongin asked.

You didn't know how being honest would work, but you still were. You nodded your head, quickly shrugging your shoulders. "What does it matter, anyway?" You stammered, lowering your head again. "You don’t believe me".

"I just didn’t believe there was something about me that could really attract you" He confessed his insecurity. "From the first moment it seemed strange to me that someone like you approached me" He shrugged too. "It makes perfect sense that it was all a lie".

"No, it doesn't" You denied. "That's the point, I didn't care at all what those idiots said about you or me, I just wanted to keep spending time with you".

He watched your face closely, finding no sign of joking. He remembered the scene on the stairs but still needed to be sure. "Seriously?"

You approached subtly on the bench. "I literally stopped thinking about money the moment you started to show that you cared about me" You admitted. "Maybe I'm used to being the asshole that you think won't get close to you, but when I did, I realized how different it is to establish something honest with someone".

His lips gently curved to the side, making you feel just a little relieved. "Something honest can be just a friendship" He dared to be mischievous in the middle of such a moment.

You literally snorted. "Do you want just a friendship?"

From what it felt like the first time, his eyes dropped to your lips, as if the answer to your question was that. It had a lot to see to be fair. He shook his head, biting his own lower lip subtly. "I don’t know". 

You gulped with his gaze, analyzing his expressions carefully. "And what do you want?" You asked in a whisper. 

His true answer was on the tip of his tongue, but the voices above you tore it from him. You hadn’t even realized what was happening around you to understand that the night was at its most important point.

A small balcony separated both people above fromwhere you were, making you look up when they called. "Hey, you two!" They said happily, dangling the delicate plant characteristic of the date in their hands. "It's your turn!"

They giggled at you, making both lower your heads and look at each other after noticing the mistletoe in their hands. You couldn't help but laugh sorrowfully too, especially after feeling that you wanted to cry.

Your bright eyes and shrinked figure made you look cuter than normal, and it was something that Jeongin couldn't help but like even in between the misunderstanding. "You do know what that means, right?" You asked innocently.

He tilted his head to the side, hesitating. "That your challenge ended?" He joked, getting you another little laugh after the anguish.

"That you should kiss me" You stated, looking at his lips. "This time for real".

He nodded, agreeing, but glancing at the girls who were still staring. They laughed, pretending to bring their hands to their eyes but looking between them to confirm that you were complying.

He brought his hand up to your face, his long index finger curving to support it under your chin so he could lift it. His eyes lowered once more to your lips, inhaling before taking the courage to kiss you as if he really knew what he was doing.

With a quick lick that worked like the balm he clumsily forgot in this cold, he simply brought your face to his and pressed his lips to yours. You closed your eyes automatically, forgetting when was the last time you had wanted to kiss someone this much.

The accumulated desire and the relief of knowing that you hadn’t lost anything joined in that sensation that erupted in your stomach, relaxing your body noticeably with the softness of his mouth on yours. That was literally butterflies.

With an audible departure, both of you opened your eyes, hearing the giggles one last time above you to watch the girls leaving after completing their mission as cupid. You brought your hand to his to hold it there, causing his fingers to stretch across your cheek. 

That had been too brave for being shy Jeongin, he himself thought as a smile played on your lips. That had been the most beautiful thing they could have given you for Christmas, you thought as the noise around you began to make sense.

The young people bringing the holiday to life, the spirit staying more alive than ever. He brought his other hand to your hair, gently brushing off the snow. 

“I’m sorry” You apologized wholeheartedly. "I didn't want you to feel like I was using you".

“It’s okay” He whispered, there was nothing else you could do about that more than forget it. "Why don't we get out of here?" He suggested, already thinking of cuddling and kissing you as much as he wanted privately. "Better have something hot in a quieter place". 

You nodded, lowering your hand next to his arm as he rose from the seat. You followed him but only let him take one step before stopping him. He turned and looked at you, not knowing what was missing.

You stared at him, hoping your sigh was the last you would let out in frustration. "Can we pretend that was our first kiss?" You asked, raising your brow almost like begging. "And that the challenge never existed". 

He smiled, his dimples showing playfully. "Of course" He agreed, having what he needed to feel safe with you. "Make it a secret" He offered. 

You smiled too, lowering your hand from his forearm to reach for his hand and finally leave. You made it to the party with him by your side, and so he would stay. "Make it our little secret".

[snowboiwinwin]

The Boyz as my University Professors

Disclaimer: Some of my professors are evil bitches; none of the boys are truly evil and I am in no way implying they are or trying to make them look bad! I love the boys and I just thought it would be a fun thing to post :D

-------------------------------

Sangyeon: 

the one professor that absolutely loves the topic of his class

super wholesome and smiley throughout the 90 minutes class time

getting super close to the camera (actually to the mic) because he is worried students won’t hear him well enough

always asking questions and encouraging students to interact

not offended when something isn’t clear and therefore students don’t know the answer

reading EVERY. SINGLE. MESSAGE written in the chat (sometimes students have mic problems or don’t wanna speak)

making everyone feel valid and appreciated

being super calm and relaxed

barely doing breakout-rooms cause he knows no one likes them

ending class always a little earlier cause “I know how stressful your life can get.”

just the cutest prof out there

Jacob: 

another sweet guy

never holds class at its normal timeframe

just uploads all the files students will need (although attendance is supposed to be mandatory)

“you guys are all grown-ups, I trust you to decide yourself when it is the best time for YOU to study.”

constantly uses smileys and is therefore super popular with students

doesn’t teach many classes, cause which good prof does that? ugh

gets right back at students when they email him their concerns

and no, you don’t get half-assed answers

you get a very detailed answer, which is rare in university life

THANKS STUDENTS FOR SENDING HIM THEIR HOMEWORK!!!!

“Dear [name of stundet], thank you very much! 😊”

offers students to call him by his first name

“I’ll call you by your first name too if that’s okay... creates a more comfortable atmosphere!”

the best <3

Younghoon:

he is a savage professor

his look is hella scary and students fear taking his classes

but he is actually the coolest and most laid back dude ever

the first time class is held, he comes in, stone cold expression and literally throws his bag on the desk - everyone is hella scared

then he says, in the scariest voice ever, “We can have fun here in class, no problem, but i AM YOUR PROFESSOR. NOT YOUR FRIEND. Remember that.”

*everyone scared to death*

“Welcome to class everybody! My name is Mr. Kim and I am very looking forward to teach this class in our summer term! Feel free to ask any question that might come up and don’t hesitate to reach out to me whenever!”

no need to be scared, he is a sweetheart

strict and has high expectations, but won’t overdo it with homework or assignments

constantly jokes around but then switches back to being serious

he creates a nice atmosphere where students want to learn something and do it voluntarily 

cares for his students and appreciates their hard work - especially during the pandemic

“I know this is not easy for any of us but I am so amazed by your guys’ work this semester. It was an absolute pleasure teaching you. I hope to see you guys again, but not in this class. Please don’t fail.”

I love him

Hyunjae:

omg, he is an absolute legend

class starts and he is doing his introduction part

the class i about british literature 

“Welcome to this literature class, you are in for a long ride!”

so far so good right?

“Let me just say, British Literature is an ABSOLUTE shit show!”

when I tell you, I almost died hearing that (no offense to anyone, pls don’t take my profs words to heart... he lives for british literature 🥺)

he definitely has his students hooked with this one sentence

“the teacher that taught this class before me... what was he even talking about! I mean, british literature is so much more than what he made it out to be!”

basically starts ranting  

teaches with so much passion

can’t forget the jokes here and there

also uses smileys which students seriously love (at least I do)

wants students to be informal with him as well

“moving on to this next topic... a little disclaimer before we start: I will go batshit crazy with this topic because I LOVE IT. So please tell me to shut up when I exceed the 10 minutes mark. Thank you!”

A savage legend that everyone loves

sadly only teaches a handful of classes as well

Juyeon: 

super laid back and chill

does never check attendance and just trusts his students

usually talks most of the time and doesn’t ask too many questions

is super happy when students contribute though

but he isn’t one to force them

“I know your day has probably been really long, so it’s okay. I’m not taking this personal.”

his class is not based on theory but more on experiences he made

shares funny stories, mistakes he made and what he learnt from them

always gives the smallest and easiest homework ever

“please just share your experiences with these types of situations in our forum”

and he does not want to grade students based on an exam

“I have a better idea. In order to understand a certain topic, I want you to write a portfolio about it. It should be detailed but I won’t give you a number of words. Do what feels right and surprise me! Be creative, nothing will be worth a failing grade as long as you put in some effort.”

does split classrooms

one half is in the main room with him, the others are in breakout rooms, working on a certain topic

super chill and just not as hard as some other classes

but students definitely learn from him!

Kevin:

oh boy, students either gonna hate or love him

he is very kind and nice but he is STRICT

take his class serious and work or you will fail

although he has very high expectations, he will make sure students will be prepared for all the essays, assignments and presentations he throws at at them

no half-assed instructions, you will get the full program (as every student should!)

you have to write an argumentative essay but have no idea how to do that?

Professor Moon (students are allowed to call him Kevin) will explain an argumentativ essay in detail, will show examples and will tell you exactly what to put in it

having trouble finding sources?

Kevin will help you, just let him know!

Also a very empathetic teacher

something happened and you can’t attend class? Absolutely no problem

whenever something serious happens (for us it was a shooting), Kevin will cancel class and spare his students cause their well-being is more important

he doesn’t throw out A’s and B’s easily but when you do get such a grade in one of his classes... dude, you did a really good job

so as I said, he is either your fav or least fav professor... choose your side!

Chanhee:

he is a bitch (not really, but he gives the impression)

at first, he is that nice, bubbly professor

super friendly and kind

and his classes are absolutely okay! no biggie

or so they THOUGHT

his exams and progress tests or whatever ARE HELL

he makes it seem as everything is so easy and not overwhelming at all

BUT nothing is easy and everything is overwhelming

50 pages for a damn progress test two weeks into the semester!

the grading is so strict, you need at least 65% to pass! (maybe I am a baby but 65% is a lot for a passing grade hahaha)

but he confuses students

he is so kind and soft spoken

constantly smiling and in a good mood

but the exams????

are you sure you were the one creating them Mr Choi?

and yes, he is one of those professors that wants to be addressed by his last name (nothing wrong with that)

as I said, he confuses students

they don’t know what to think of him

at the end of the day he isn’t a bad guy

just not the type of professor the students would want in every single class for the rest of their lives

Changmin:

changmin is not your ordinary professor

because he is a big fan of team-teaching

so all his classes are taught by him and his dear colleague Haknyeon!

YAAAAY

I love this duo already

he is the part of the duo that is EXTREMELY motivated

he is is so hyper and so ready for teaching

his classes are always fun but also slightly overwhelming?

juts imagine having too much caffeine in your body

that is changmin being able to teach something he loves

that’s just the passion jumping out of him

he is constantly talking and laughing and throwing jokes left and right

he is having a good time!

super understanding and empathetic

and although everything seems fun and games

you will definitely learn from him!

he has this natural and authentic way of teaching in his body

it comes... naturally and it all makes sense somehow

although the class is packed with inside jokes and changmin teasing haknyeon

haknyeon doesn’t even have time nor the chance to speak

this is changmin’s time to shine!

they love and hate each other

but the students definitely love this iconic duo

Haknyeon:

as I mentioned; haknyeon and changmin are a team

it wasn’t really something haknyeon wanted but... how could you possibly say no to baby changmin? 🥺

so yes, changmin’s cute face got him into this situation

he doesn’t even have to prepare anything for class - his lovely colleague does the talking anyways

he usually lays back and relax

he frowns into the cam cause he tries to intimidate students

but they know he is a soft guy anyways

while changmin is talking, he is chatting to students in the chat

as I mentioned earlier, not everyone wants to unmute themselves and therefore posts in the chat

so he is having chats with students, often not even related to the topic

“Please excuse me, I will be absent for a few minutes - mommy duties” -student

“Don’t worry Miss! I know exactly what you mean... children.” -haknyeon

whenever he tries to get a word in, he has to talk VERY LOUDLY

he literally has to talk over changmin

but changmin doesn’t mind, he just smiles, nods and listens

changmin is super proud whenever haknyeon speaks

and haknyeon thinks that’s very sweet

but that thought passes as soon as changmin makes a joke about him

at the end of the day, they love each other at least to a certain extent and students adore them

Sunwoo:

he is not an ordinary professor either

class time? virtual meetings?

nope, not with sunwoo

again, in the classes the boyz teach, attendance is mandatory 

mandatory? sunwoo has never heard of her

he doesn’t require students to attend meetings and homework is also something he does not expect from them

he uploads powerpoint-presentations with videos and audio of him explaining everything in the presentation

but the boy is clumsy

and he is not good with anything technical

so him dropping his glass and spilling his water all over his lap?

well, students will see this in the video

“... and it’s important to- YAAAAH OH NO....”

*awkward silence*

“I spilled my water... if you haven’t seen.”

*more awkward silence*

“Give me a minute”

*the video continues and sunwoo is nowhere in sight*

after ten minutes of an empty chair, sunwoo returns and continues as if nothing has happened

sometimes his kids walk in and dab in the camera without him noticing

“and then - Hey! I am at WORK.”

he loves it though

and he posts these “fail” videos on purpose

“I want to show you, that it is okay to not be perfect and to not be in control of everything! Stuff like that happens, especially with us being in home-office! And don’t worry, if your mom walks in or whatever, in my classroom no one gets judged! This is life and now that we have to do everything from home, the unexpected is unavoidable!”

Another students’ favorite

Eric:

I would love to imagine him as this savage prof I have in mind... but no <3

he is a sweet guy

also super obsessed with the class he is teaching

he is LIVING for it

usually experiences technical problems right before class starts

“oopsie daisy, sorry guys... might take a few minutes *giggles*”

and no, it’s not a creepy giggle but a really cute one, I swear!

constantly has a pen in his hand and clicks it absentmindedly while teaching

students constantly hear the clicking sound... or when the pen falls to the ground.... which happens every five minutes

he constantly forgets to mute himself whenever he wants students to work by themselves and all they hear is him chugging down his water or whatever drink he has prepared

also sends out super sweet emails

but due to him being a young dude, he wants students to call him by his last name

he also calls students by their last name but he does use smileys to lighten the professional mood that comes with honorifics

overall a very motivated but extremely kind-hearted dude

[theaspers]

between heart and soul | lucifer x reader

a/n; warm up bc i haven’t written in a while. sort of an au? that isn’t really explored much in this fic but they’re still demons and the reader is still a mortal. part of a collection of fics that i had planned. anw mostly lucifer/reader with hints of lucifer/reader/diavolo.

also known as the conversation that takes place mostly on lucifer’s lap

“i like you though,” you tell him, a furrow between your brows and a frown twisting your lips. you’re curled up sideways on his lap, face tucked into the crook of his neck. quiet chatter fills the room, the occasional flickers and flashes of colour from the television drowning you in hues of yellows and reds. he feels the warmth of your breath against his collarbone as you continue to speak, “is that not a good enough reason?”

truthfully, he’d stopped giving the show attention about an hour ago. your insistence on watching it through and the fact that you were comfortable in his lap were the only reasons as to why he hadn’t left to do more productive things. lucifer breathes another sigh, “i did not think you to be so unreasonable.”

no, not completely so, lucifer thinks. headstrong, perhaps, a trait that had first pulled him to you but now only serve to perpetuate this matter as a point of contention.

unreasonable? he sees you mouth, incredulous, contemplative.

you shift minutely in his lap to look up at him, and he moves his fingers from your waist down to rest them lightly on your hips in support. the furrow between your brows deepen, as does your frown, “are you saying i shouldn’t like you? or dia?”

yes, he wants to say, but that would be a lie. whatever this was that was unfolding between you and him and the prince has grown disproportionately at such an alarming rate. he has to admit, however, he is growing incredibly fond of the idea by the second. he is not terribly resistant to it, only the lack of control he had over it which grated at him immensely.

still, this was a different matter altogether, he reminds himself. trust is fickle but his feelings would not be as volatile. two demons is two too many. perhaps he’s been too lenient with you. his fingers dig into your hips, but not enough to hurt, a little squeeze, a gentle reminder, “no. but perhaps, exercising caution would serve you well.”

“but i can’t not trust you. or dia. i like you. i like dia,” stated as a matter of fact. there’s a slight pause before, quietly and softly, you add, “you treat me well. make me feel safe.”

safe. a wicked shudder slithers down his spine. to think you would feel safe in the accompaniment of the demon prince and his right hand. but of course, he thinks. of course you’re safe. the safest you could possibly be. pride rumbles in his chest, driving him to press a kiss against your temple. at the back of his mind, the fact continues to prickle him uncomfortably.

you pull away slightly, straightening up in his lap, and the contentment that he had felt when you’d been pressed against him replaces itself with something like petulance. your fingers move up to curl around his cheek, as if to console him. your thumb is gentle as it traces the peak of his cheekbone. he knows you long enough to recognize that it is kind understanding that he sees on your face, and not the condescension that he would’ve taken it for if he didn’t know you better.

another day, he muses. he’ll save this conversation for another day. he pulls you into him, captures your lips with his, and makes sure you remember nothing about the awfully tragic mess of a show that you’d been watching.

“tell me,” you insist not long after, as you pull a stack of documents closer. another long day of work that’s stretched into the night, something lucifer’s certain shouldn’t be made a habit but has gone on for far too long to easily break out of. the tea that barbatos had served alongside an assorted platter of light snacks has long since gone tepid.

the night finds the two of you in a similar enough position - you on his lap, him allowing you. a haphazard mess of papers lie before the two of you and he’s far since lost track of which was his, and which was yours. not that there had been much progress since you’d slid onto his lap, he supposed. diavolo sits not too far away. in a bit of a mood after today’s reports of unrest, lucifer suspects, since he’s voluntarily poring over documents of his own on a desk across the room, focus unwavering. still, the occasional glances that the prince sneaks and the fond smile that swells warmly on his face do not go unnoticed by lucifer.

“hm?”

you lean back against him, attention rapt on the report before you, “tell me why you think i shouldn’t trust you.”

the shuffling of paper, the quiet scribbling that’s been filling the silence stops momentarily. when lucifer looks up, diavolo meets his eyes. a subtle exchange of quiet understanding. the prince chooses to remain silent. a fair enough decision. after all, it had been lucifer who insisted on the matter.

unknowing, or more likely, uncaring of what had transpired, you flip through the report that lucifer knows should have been completed by now. the comforting background noise resumes as diavolo returns his focus back onto his work. lucifer sighs, giving your side a little squeeze before he taps a gloved finger on the stack in front of you, “focus.”

he doesn’t miss the small snort that you make, the nonchalance in your next words, “you should help me with it then.”

the smile on your face grows at diavolo’s low chuckle. this wouldn’t be the first time that you’ve done this, and lucifer is certain that it would not be the last. the language of demons made your head hurt, you’d complained once. too confusing, you’d reasoned, but mischief gleams in the twinkle of your eyes, which is why you should help. the fact that you’re not past taking advantage of someone like lucifer doting on you amuses him more than it does anything else. he can’t say no to you, regardless.

“what do i need to do to crack you?” you ask, scribbling notes across the top of the page.

good progress. no major mistakes. he hums as he looks on, “oh, whatever could you mean, beloved.”

“you know. the whole you can’t trust us thing.” a line through several sentences, unreadable scrawls filling the space beside it. a frustrated sigh, quiet.

“wrong form,” he notes, picking up a stray pen and adding a few scribbles above your own. you thank him quietly, a final look through of the page before moving on to the next one.

“is my word not enough?” he asks, when he realises that you’re still waiting on an answer. much like him, you were not a stranger to the struggle and the pain of associating with his kind. the torture of betrayal, the blood spilled. a sharp burst of anger burns in him but it dissipates as soon as it comes.

“settle down,” you say as you turn to look at him, something like a sharp warning. a frown curls on your face, and he wishes for nothing more than the chance to smooth it away. you lean up to press a small kiss on his cheek instead, “that’s not what i meant. of course, they are.”

you turn back to the report, shifting slightly on his lap,  “i’m just trying to understand, lucifer.”

he collects his thoughts in the slight gap of silence that comes afterwards, mindlessly tracking the movement of your fingers across the page. voice a low murmur, he points out, “change this part.”

“ah, right,” you hum, quickly jotting down a reminder for yourself. satisfied with the current state of the document, you move on to the next. “so i’m not supposed to trust demons.”

“correct.” he moves a hand to curl around your side. hardly ever a moment when he can keep his hands to himself nowadays.

your eyes flicker over to diavolo, who has a smile on his face but says nothing more, and then back to your report, “because demons always have ulterior motives.”

“yes.” lucifer’s glad that you’re aware of that much, at least.

an exhale through your lips, “i can’t trust demons. but surely i can trust my lovers?”

lucifer frowns, and ponders. he is a demon first and foremost, is he not? perhaps you needed another reminder. he was nothing so malevolent. nothing so righteous. but is he not a god in his own right? and though the line between lover and god may thin with each passing moment, his teeth remain sharp and his claws remain bloody. a weapon is still a weapon, no matter how much good it tries to do.

“lucifer,” you call out. a tenseness behind your voice, something like strength and power. you’ve long since placed your pen down, abandoned the stack of documents. you’ve turned to face him now, expression tight. reminds him of how absolutely delightful you’d been during the day’s training. oh, if only this had been a different moment, he laments.

you press on, eyes steely. commanding in the way that makes him want to bend to your will, “listen to me and listen well.”

“i trust your judgement. your truths. and i trust that you’ll take care of me.” your hand rests gently over his, before you bring it up to press a kiss over the top of his knuckle, “i have a lot of faith and trust in you. in both of you.”

in the mess of his own thoughts, he’d missed diavolo moving closer, now an arm’s length away. perched over the edge of lucifer’s desk, laughter rumbles his chest, warm and hearty. an i told you so if lucifer’s ever seen one. the prince leans closer and runs his fingers through your hair. presses a kiss on the side of your head. a reward that you gladfully bask in.

how odd, lucifer thinks, that this is where he’s found himself. that after centuries of violence and blood and grief, this is where he’s settled. a little world of his own, warm and content. with two that he can call his own.

he presses his eyes shut, leans into your warmth and concedes. there is no point in fighting it anymore. not when he sees the fiery determination that burns in your eyes, as if daring him to contest your truths further so you can prove him wrong. not with the backing of the prince who insists on pressing closer and closer. more than your occasional naïveté and unrelenting kindness, perhaps he should be more worried about how much of himself he’s given, of how much he’s surrendered to you and to his prince.

[eatyourchancletas]

SUMMARY |  y/n l/n; the trauma surgeon who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and is taken hostage by the terrifying mafia known as ateez. despite their situations, love arises between the doctor and san; but when an enemy comes in between the group, breaking trust and belief between the members, what will san choose to save; his newfound love or his brothers?

PAIRING | choi san x male reader

INFO/CATEGORY | mafia au, angst

WARNINGS | violence, weapon usage/mention, adult language

[chapter index] [playlist] [previous chapter]

AUTHOR’S NOTE | chapter 2 is finally up! it was written by monnie, a sweetheart 😙 edited by alex! we hope you enjoy! please leave feedback, we really encourage it and enjoy it!

WORD COUNT | 1.7k

TAG LIST :; @jonghoshoe​ if you’d like to be added to the list, please say so in out inbox/ask box!

at this point y/n wondered why he followed his instincts. had he known it was a mafia on the other side of where he was, he could have gotten in his car, gone home to enjoy a cup of ramen, and then go to sleep. then again he didn’t know, so he blamed life’s cruelty.

“hey, good morning.” a soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. he glanced over at the familiar voice that belonged to the only person he’s seen in the past few days.

y/n said nothing, watching the other slide in a tray of steamy fresh food. “i noticed you eat a few things more than the others so i tried to give you bigger portions.”

“thanks,” y/n accepted the tray with no expression and seonghwa pursed his lips at the short answer. 

at the tense atmosphere, seonghwa excused himself. he wasn't sure if he felt pity for y/n, but either way, he just wanted y/n to grow used to this new environment because one thing was certain and that was that y/n could never go back to his old life.

seonghwa sighed softly, "good morning."

y/n tilted his head at him, looking up at the second in command with dull eyes. he simply hummed in greeting, clearly not in the mood during the past five days. 

the blonde gripped the tray, his patience running low with the older’s behavior. he's meaning well, he understands y/n, he does, but no one will get anywhere if there’s constant passiveness between the two.

 “i threw in an extra cookie,” he gestured to the pastry, “i figured you’d like some extra sugar in your system.”

once more, y/n hummed, nodding his head lightly.  it made seonghwa's blood boil—clearly, y/n wasn't vibing with him, and the last thing he thought of in this situation was the way y/n was being affected.

"hey, listen. your little silent treatment isn't gonna do jack here. you either socialize or stay down here, which isn't gonna happen because sooner or later they'll drag you up there. keep in mind you won't have anyone else to socialize with—forget your friends, family, everyone you had around before this. you'll be around us for as long as needed, maybe until your last breath."

y/n scoffed, looking away from seonghwa, something the older didn't take very nicely until he heard y/n’s meek reply, "you say that like it's easy."

the younger sputtered, handing y/n the tray of food, "i know it's hard, but just know each of us gave something up too. but, eventually, we all learned how to live with it,” seonghwa squatted to y/n’s level, “and you will too." 

the doctor swallowed, taking the tray and finally making eye contact with seonghwa. they shared a small pained smile, and seonghwa made one last comment before heading back, "make sure you eat up—don't want you dying on me after i took all that time to make such delicacies." 

y/n smiled to himself as he heard seonghwa shuffle to turn around. "thank you…i'll see you later…"

"sure will…” seonghwa’s chuckle ricocheted off the walls as he walked down the hall to the metal door. he pushed it open, making his way up the stairs and to the living room where a few of the others were gathered.

“hyung! just on time, we were talking about this upcoming mission we might have in a few days,” san commented as soon as he saw the older.

“is that so?” seonghwa mumbled in response as he sat down next to hongjoong, the other sipping iced bourbon from a glass cup.

“i’m not sure about it yet,” hongjoong set the glass down on the coffee table in front of him, “wooyoung still needs to gather more info before i verify anything. can’t be careless, remember?”

“totally, hyung. i’ll dig more into the client and have the info needed before morning.” wooyoung gave a reassuring smile to their boss, who simply hummed in return.

“by the way hwa,” hongjoong glanced at his boyfriend, leaning back into the leather couch and crossing his legs, “how’s the doctor?”

seonghwa blinked, “he’s fine, a bit down but he’ll get over it. so, in short, he’s behaved well these past days.”

hongjoong nodded, “that’s good, we’ll let him out tomorrow then. but right now i need you to go with san to the mechanic shop, make sure business is flowing well—which i don’t doubt. maybe visit mingi and yunho and see how well the loaning business has been. if i recall correctly, mingi said something about a few people not paying back on time; tell them not to get aggressive, we aren’t monsters after all.” there was a playful lilt to his tone, but they picked up on the seriousness behind it.

san got up, nodding at hongjoong’s orders, “we’ll tell yeo if anything happens.”

seonghwa followed suit, “we’ll see you later then,” he waved farewell without looking back at them.

wooyoung slid the folder over to hongjoong, the older raising a brow while taking it in his hands. “i gathered some info, it’s all in there—but to put it simply, i think we’ll gain lots of benefits after signing a deal with him. his name is yoo dongwoo, lives in seongnam.”

“that’s a bit too close to us, don’t you think?” hongjoong hums as he sets the folder down, resting his elbow on the armrest and his chin on the palm of his hand. 

“yeah, it is. but i think it’d be worth it. he seems to have lots of connections, and so far he’s never had an issue with payments, transportation and business—” wooyoung’s attention is taken when the door leading to the basement is pushed open.

“people!” yunho blocks y/n, capturing the attention of the others in the room. the tallest holds his arms out in a way of grand gesture, bowing, “i present you, y/n-”

“that’s...not necessary…” y/n can feel his skin grow warm under the tense and awkward atmosphere. luckily it’s broken by the one and only choi san.

“well we haven’t properly introduced ourselves if you think about it,” he pushed himself into y/n’s space, the doctor tensing up a bit at the close intrusion. yunho watched san, stepping aside to give the two some more space,“i’m san! nice to meet you! i’m sure we’ll get along just fine.”

the cheerful boy grinned widely, dimples making an appearance while his eyes did the opposite. y/n blinked, processing how close san was before taking a small step back. he didn’t reply verbally, giving a small smile and a nod instead,

“you know me already,” yunho said while taking a seat at the table.

"you know me too," seonghwa walked in with a tray of cookies, baking gloves protecting his hands.  "and take a seat."

y/n glanced at the table, not sure where to take a seat, but he guessed it didn't matter as long as he didn't sit near the boss.

"i'm hongjoong, the boss in case you didn't know," hongjoong watched the tray seonghwa placed on the table, waiting to grab a pastry.

"i'm mingi!" said male smiled as y/n hastily took the seat next to him. 

"i'm wooyoung, but call me woo if you want!" wooyoung was on the other side of y/n, making the doctor sandwiched between him and mingi.

"yeosang," the said male sat across from y/n, an intensely bored expression taking over his features. 

"did we miss anyone?" seonghwa rose a brow while taking off the gloves. 

"oh right, jongho! he's our bodyguard," san gestured at the buff male that stood by the door. 

y/n turned to look at him, jongho gently nodding his head at him and y/n doing the same. 

hongjoong clapped his hands, capturing everyone's attention. "great, now with that out of the way, let's get down to business."

everyone nodded at his words, taking a cookie from the tray seonghwa placed on the table. y/n accepted the one san handed to him, smiling a bit at how caring the male had shown to be so far. 

"we're heading out in the morning, i need everyone to get back to their usual jobs by evening so we'll try to make the exchange as quick as possible. everyone except y/n and yeosang will go, we need info and updates from the outside. 

before we leave i need yunho and mingi to make sure all the parts we'll hand over are correct. i don't want mistakes. wooyoung and i will take care of the talking, san and seonghwa will stand by the nearest exit to make sure everything is in order. jongho you'll be with me and woo." 

all nine of them nodded at hongjoong's orders. y/n voluntarily nodded, remembering seonghwa’s earlier words, “each of us gave something up too. but, eventually, we all learned how to live with it.” he knew he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so he figured he’d make it a bit easier for himself.

"and i need you all to wear bulletproof vests under your clothes just in case. your guns must be locked and loaded, got it?" 

"guns?" y/n blinked, capturing everyone's attention, "why are you guys willing to blow your organs out?" 

wooyoung smiled, his head tilting a bit, "why are you willing to work for people who’s organs have been blown out?” 

y/n opened his mouth before closing it and nodding in defeat, "fair point. i get paid for it, at least..."

they were all quiet before chuckling, the atmosphere feeling more warm and calm than what it was when they first gathered.

"has anyone seen y/n?" 

his peers shook their head, speaking of the last time they saw said male. the doctor he worked with mentioned something that made the nurse worry even more. 

"last thing i knew was that his car was towed since he never picked it up. didn't hear anything else though, but don't worry heeseung, maybe he picked it up afterwards." 

heeseung, the nurse that had asked about y/n's whereabouts, sighed. "right...i hope so...see you guys tomorrow!" 

his peers returned the smile and farewell. 

as heeseung took a seat on the bus, he pulled out his phone. the first thing he did was go to the messaging app and open his and y/n's chat. 

'hi :] 

how are you?

[shhh-no-ones-home]

to love and leave behind steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes

+++++++++

this is Steve x reader x Bucky following the events of endgame

prompt: She has a strong fondness for Bucky but she knew that was never gonna happen. So she agreed to go out with Steve when he asked. they had been dating for a while and then the snap happened. five years come and go and she knows its Steve's turn to find happiness. and who knows, maybe she and Bucky can too.

Also from a thought that captain America is pro-choice so themes of that and mentions of abortion and pregnancy

Song: miss you in a heartbeat by def Leppard

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

I stood next to Steve by one of the vans as Bruce set up the new time machine. It had taken a short bit to get everything in order again but Scott pitched in so that helped a lot. Now it was just the five of us; Bucky, Sam, Bruce, Steve, and me. And we were all anxiously waiting the outcome of today's events. To fix what was broke and to put back the stones. And as exciting as that was I still felt a heaviness on my heart about the conversation that had to happen. It was almost time. The other guys were standing around waiting for him.

"Hey Steve, I have to tell you something. Before you go."

I said softly, barely audible as I slumped my way out of the driver seat. He looked confused, brows drawn.

"Go?"

He asked and I sent him a look before rubbing my hand down my arm.

"I don't want it to change your mind though."

I managed, trying to avoid his gaze but desperately wanting to remember him like this.

"Okay?"

I took a deep breath, staring over his concern stricken face.

"I was doing my physical the other morning, right? and, uh... I'm pregnant."

His smile grew so wide as he stepped to me, hands at my elbows.

"What?! That's great!"

He was so enthusiastic. But I shook my head.

"I wanted you to know before I made my decision, but, I don't know if I can do this."

His face fell slowly.

"What do you mean?"

He knew exactly what I meant.

"I can't take care of a baby. Especially not without help."

He paused as realization struck him. He knew that I knew what was happening today.

"Plus i know it would tear you up inside. With you leaving and all."

He opened his mouth twice before speaking.

"Y/n i-"

"It's okay Steve. I'm not trying to stop you. In fact I want you to be happy. And I know that's not here. It never was."

He tightened his jaw.

"But terminating? I understand that it's completely your decision but you always talked about how hard it would be for you to even have kids and how much you wanted one when it came time."

I shook my head quickly.

"I can't keep it. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. Or it. No matter how much I want it."

"And thats your choice?"

He said a little defeated. He knew it didn't matter. No matter how excited I was when I found out or how much I was anticipating carrying through. But that was before I knew there was a possibility he could be with her again. And before I knew I'd be doing this alone. It took me two days to come to terms with the fact that he should know before he leaves. So here we were.

"we've been together for seven years Steve, I know you well enough to know you're leaving."

"I don't have to."

He said just above a whisper, his hands making their way to my hips.

"We both know that's a lie. From the moment we found out it would work we knew you were going. It's okay."

We both just stared at each other for a moment, trying not to cry. He knew I always hid my emotions well, something that took both of us a good time to learn and work around. But now I didn't know if I wanted to. The only thing I guess keeping me from crying, sobbing, holding him close again, was the want for him to finally be happy. Even if it broke me a little on the inside. But we both knew we were truly in love with different people.

"I do love you." he said softly.

"And I you. But this wasn't forever."

I moved his hands off my hips and held them in mine.

"I guess it never really was."

"No. more of a place holder until we could be where we really belong."

He looked down at them connected for a moment before looking back to my face.

"You gonna talk to him?"

I half shrugged.

"Maybe we could bond over losing you."

I joked, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips.

"Maybe you could learn from each other. He needs you just as much as you need him."

I sighed.

"Think he'll want it?"

I was almost serious but I doubted he would.

"The baby?"

He asked a little dumfounded and I snorted.

"Steven grant Rogers Jr?"

He laughed, shaking his head.

"He's getting better."

"So was I."

He sent me a look.

"You still are."

"I'll miss you Steve."

I admitted, him pulling me into a tight hug. And I finally let a tear slip.

"I'll miss you too y/n. I'll always keep you in my heart."

He whispered before pulling away, still holding me in his arms.

"Don't forget about me okay?"

I croaked out.

"How could I? You changed my life."

He offered a small smile.

"I love you Steve."

He leaned forward and kissed me gently, resting his forehead against mine afterwards.

"Take care of each other and everything will be alright."

°°°°°°°°°

He asked if I wanted to come over to be with them but I couldn't do it. I'd much rather sit here in the van with my own thoughts and emotions than any of them see me cry again. I could still see everyone and everything that was happening and I wasn't quite sure if that was worse or not. Bucky had his hands in his pockets, a sadness over him, and Sam had a very enthusiastic demeanor. But he didn't know. Not like we did. That hurt. Losing love always does.

I blinked out a few more tears as I got back out of the van, walking to the end of it and watching them intently. Steve was on the platform, shield and hammer in hand. He looked from them to me and I offered the smallest smile but it was better than nothing. I just hoped he knew exactly how much I did care for him and how okay I was with him going. After all, he deserved his happy ending. The man out of time.

When I heard Sam and Bruce arguing I figured that was my queue. It was one slow, shaky step after another to get to where they were. Then Bucky said something and all our attention made it's way to a figure sitting at the edge of the clearing. Without a second thought my hand was over my mouth and I tried my hardest to hold the sob threatening to spill from my lips. I looked to the sky and wiped the few tears away, taking a labored breath. I swallowed hard, shook my head, and kept on my mission. When I made it to Bucky he offered a broken smile, leaning into me as I slipped my arm into his. We were silent for a moment as we watched Sam talk to Steve. He looked like he had changed so much but also not at all. But he looked happy and that's what mattered. Even if it broke all of us.

"This isn't going to be easy."

I said just above a whisper and he nodded.

"What was it that he always said? We do this together?"

I half laughed, looking to the ground and kicking a stick lightly.

"Walk with me?

I asked, looking back to him and He nodded. It was fairly leisurely as we turned and passed Bruce, still flipping switches and turning the machine off. But there was a wracking at my brain as I held onto to Bucky for dear life. There was probably a million things to say but I knew what needed to be heard because it was the same thing on my mind.

"Ya know he didn't belong here. He never really did."

I looked up at him and he swallowed hard.

"That doesn't make it any easier."

I hummed softly.

"No it doesn't. What does though is knowing that he still believes in us, even if we don't believe in ourselves."

His pace got slower.

"I'm gonna miss him."

I swallowed hard.

"We all will. But you know just like I do that he had to leave. He found his purpose a long time ago and it wasn't here with us."

The tears were threatening again and he stopped.

"What about you?"

I looked over his stone cold features for a moment as he stared down at me. I ran my thumb over his arm lightly.

"I made peace with it. I've been in love with someone else for a while. since we met anyway. He knew that. And he knew that the people we were meant for weren't available. So we stayed together."

His head hung low.

"Oh. So you've found someone else already?"

He looked back to me with a different form of sadness behind his eyes.

"Bucky-"

"No it's okay, I'm glad you have. I guess everyone's moving on."

I shook my head.

"Buck I'm talking about you."

He deadpanned.

"You are?"

I nodded slowly, trying to choose my words carefully.

"I've known since the day we met. I was meant to be with you. Sometimes you just know, you feel it. But you weren't ready and that's okay."

We started walking again.

"But you and steve-"

"Had a mutual understanding to fill each other's needs until we could make it back to our own person. even if it was seven years of dating and living together and just carrying on. we were happy for the most part. like living with a friend."

i squeezed his arm.

"but ive known it was supposed to be you. And i know we've been working through things together, its brought us closer. and if you're ready I'd love to try this more than friends thing. But if not that's okay too. I've waited this long."

I let out a short laugh.

"I've been working so hard."

He said and I looked to him.

"as a young man there was nothing I wanted more than to settle down and start a family. But I don't want to hurt you. I still don't trust myself and you've held me enough nights to know the nightmares still linger."

I stopped him and stood in front of him so we were facing each other. I placed my hands firmly on his arms and he tensed. I looked intently between his eyes.

"Bucky you could never hurt me."

I said sternly.

"Who else has visited you and dealt with the nightmares since you've been here? Who else knows more about you than Steve? Who has voluntarily been your partner and your friend?"

He looked down a little ashamed as I kept going.

"Buck, I know with the snap it's been a while but that doesn't change how I feel. Relationships Are about growth and sacrifice."

He nodded slowly.

"Yeah I guess you're right. And I guess Part of me has been waiting for a long time to hear that from you."

I reached up and cupped his face, running my thumb over his check bone as he smiled down at me.

"So you wanna try this whole dating thing?"

"I'd love to. If you'll have me."

He said a little unsure. I swallowed hard as realization struck me. Well that or the nausea.

"Before we do this I do need to tell you something."

He looked a little concerned

"Okay?"

"It came up earlier and I don't want it to change how you feel about me or us because I'm still on the fence about my decision. But I'm pregnant."

He just stared at me for a long while, eyes wide.

"I didn't want it to be the deciding factor on Steve staying or not and I've been thinking about aborting it. I won't be able to do this on my own and it's not fair to dump this on you either-"

"Hey, no no no no no, I get it's your decision but if you want help. I can- I mean i may not be the best candidate but I've always wanted a family. And I'm not about to leave someone I care about behind because something like that came up. im still learning and finding myself again but if you want help... im more than happy to lend a hand."

I looked over this face again. He seemed serious.

"Are you sure? I don't want to push this on you when you're already so unsure about yourself. I was gonna make an appointment tomorrow-"

"No, don't even worry about it. Maybe this will be the push I need. I mean we've got mine months. I could be better by then. maybe not a lot but something is better than nothing. and like you said, when you know you know. We can be fully established by then, right?"

I smiled, his hands moving to my hips.

"With your pardon and starting over again in the real world yeah I think we can. If you don't mind taking care of a tiny Steve Rogers."

He laughed, cringing a little bit.

"Are we gonna tell them that?"

I laughed too and for once it felt like a weight off my shoulders.

"It's gonna be complicated because they obviously won't look like you but as far as I'm concerned this was a decision we make together, to be parents, so you'll still be their dad. If you want to be off course. Even if Steve is the one that made it."

He nodded, pulling me into a hug.

"Thank you for giving me a chance. I promise I won't mess this up."

I pulled away from him and kissed his cheek quickly.

"Bucky I love you. If you want to do this with me there is no way you could mess it up."

He smiled at me a genuine smile before kissing me gently. It was soft and caring and like a switch was flipped. When he pulled away he picked me up and I squealed, laughing as he buried his face in my neck.

"I love you too darlin'."

[maladaptive---daydreamer]

No more secrets

(This is set in 6th year, no voldemort being back business)

Sunlight filtered through the dormitory windows onto your sleeping form. You had asked your older brother to teach you a charm to bewitch your windows to reflect the weather outside, growing tired for the green murk courtesy of the black lake. You fluttered your eyes, blinking the sleep from them and rolled over to check the small clock at your bedside. Despite it being the weekend your body still woke you up at 7 am like clockwork, causing you to groan in frustration and smack your bedsheets

“Some of us are trying to fall back to sleep, you know” Daphne grumbled from her bed, beside you.

“Seize the day miss Greengrass” you replied, deciding you might as well get out of bed and follow your own advice.

You kicked your sheets off and made your bed before gathering your things and heading to the prefects bathroom for a shower. You returned to the dormitory with clean hair that smelt of your apple shampoo dressed in some comfy muggle clothes you purchased. Despite their shortcomings, muggles really knew how to dress comfortably. You had stumbled across Piccadilly Circus while trying to get to Diagon Alley during the Christmas break in your fourth year while on your own. In one of the shops you had seen joggers folded on a display and just had to purchase them, they were warm and soft, perfect for cold days.

“My, my what would your pure blood ancestors say if they saw you dressed like a muggle” Daphne teased from her bed.

“Someone has to be the family disappointment don’t they” You replied, putting your clothes in the laundry basket.

“I highly doubt you’re the family disappointment, Y/N, you’re top of the class in basically everything, you’re the first prefect in your family too!” Lily said. She was easily the most positive witch in Slytherin house and hated to see you bring yourself down like that

“Well, Granger is all those things and she’s a mudblood, our parents don’t care about academics as much as you’d think they do” Pansy interjected

“Pansy, no one asked you. As I recall this was a conversation between Daphne, Lily and myself” you snapped, knowing she was attempting to remind Lily of her half-blood status.

Pansy scoffed and rolled her eyes, over the last few weeks she had really been struggling to hide her dislike for you. It didn’t bother you, Pansy was a bitch to put it quite plainly. You wondered how someone could be so venomous and be content with their life.

You began to gather your things to head to the library after breakfast. 6th year meant you and your classmates were inundated with homework from all your classes. You hoped you could get ahead of your work so you could keep Sunday free.

“It’s literally Saturday, why are you voluntarily doing work?” Daphne asked, her head barely visible from under her duvet cocoon.

“If I didn’t, who would you run to at 11pm on Sunday evening because you forgot to write your charms essay?”

“You are a true friend Y/N Y/L/N”

“Hey, Y/N,” Pansy hollered

You looked at Pansy and waited for her to speak

“If you see Draco at breakfast, you mind telling him I’ll be a bit late?”

“I don’t think he’ll care Pans” Daphne replied for you

“Oh but he will, we’re going to the library to do out potions work together”

You were about to frown but stopped yourself, Draco had promised you that the two of you would write your 3 feet of parchment together. Lily caught your eye knowing how you felt about the platinum blond.

“Sure thing Parkinson” You said, with a sickly sweet smile.

You turned on your heel and went down the stairs into the Slytherin common room, despite it being only 8.30 on a Saturday morning, the common room was densely populated with slytherin students of all ages. A small group of second years were sitting on the floor playing gobstones in your path. They looked up and paled, scrambling to move out of your way.

“Scaring second years now are we Y/L/N” The voice of your friend Blaise Zabini asked.

“Me? Of course not, Zabini, I’ll leave that to you and your friends” you replied waking out of the portrait hole

“It hurts me that you think so lowly of us” He feigned hurt as he began to walk alongside you

“I apologise for hurting your feelings”

“What would your father have to say, hearing you apologise to a half blood”

“Here’s me thinking you knew me better, you already know I don’t care for the purity of blood”

“Where are you headed to after breakfast”

“The library, I’ve got a ton of homework to do”

“Have you heard about the party the 7th years are planning?”

“Nope, not that I’m interested anyway”

“This is coming from the girl who managed to get half the quidditch team drunk off fire whiskey the last time we had a party”

“What can I say, academia looks better on me”

“I can’t say I disagree with that. You should still come, bring your friends along too, it’s been a while since we all got together.”

“I’ll see if Daphne and Lily want to come along.”

The two of you had reached the door of the Great Hall

“There you are Zabini, we’ve been waiting for ages” Draco yelled from across the room

You and Blaise walked to your normal spot on the Slytherin table. He took a seat and you stood behind the bench.

“By the way, Malfoy, Parkinson said she’ll be late. Have to do the potions essay you promised you’d do with me a bit later”

“Y/N I-”

You rolled your eyes and opted to grab some sliced of toast wrapped in some tissue and go straight to the library rather than listen to whatever excuse Draco had planned to spew out.

You settled yourself near the fireplace pulling your textbooks out and laying them around you. You managed to write your charms essay, aswell as your Defence Against the Dark Arts essay and some reading for Transfiguration. You looked up at the big clock in the library and noticed it was past two, your stomach rumbled, clearly upset at the measly breakfast of 2 slices of buttered toast and some water. You gathered all your books again and stuffed them back into your bag and headed to the kitchens. The house elves were well aware of what you preferred to eat for lunch and handed it to you wrapped in a gingham handkerchief, you settled yourself by the window eating your lunch enjoying the view over the grounds.

“Y/N”

You looked up to see the face of your academic rival.

“Hermione”

“Do you mind if I take a seat?”

You shook your head and she sat down next to you.

“I was wondering if you could help me”

“Wow the great Hermione Granger needs help? From me?”

“I- nevermind it was silly of me” She got up feeling flustered and began to walk away

“Lighten up, Granger, it was a joke”

“What would you do if you liked someone, but they had a girlfriend and probably don’t like you back?”

“You’ve finally admitted you like Weasley huh” You patted the window sill next to you, prompting her to sit down

“What? No! Ron-“

“You do know Lavender has been slipping him love potions right?”

“But that’s against the rules! She could get expelled for that”

“She doesn’t care Hermione, if I were you I’d slip a bezoar down Weasley’s throat and see what happens after that”

“How do you know? That she’s been making him drink love potions?”

“I saw her buying some in hogsmeade”

“Well thank you for your help” 

“Can I ask why you thought I’d be the best person to come to for this advice?”

“Well to be quite frank, I don’t know myself. All my other friends are Ron’s friends too, I didn’t want them telling him anything. And we’ll you’ve been the kindest to me, and I would like to think despite everything you respect me. So thank you for your help” With that she got up and began to walk away

“Hey by the way, Granger, he’d be an idiot to turn you down”

Hermione flashed you a true genuine smile before returning to the Gryffindor common room.

You finished the remnants of your lunch and headed back to the dormitory. Daphne and Lily hadn’t left their spots on their beds.

“Who’s up for a party tonight?” You asked the both of them, a wide grin across your face.

After some further information from some 7th year girls, you, Daphne and Lily found yourselves standing outside the room of requirement at 9pm. Despite being a small, debaucherous get-together, in true Slytherin fashion the three of you were still impeccably dressed. You wore a thin silver satin blouse with a plunging neckline, a blouse he bought for you over the summer, along with some fitted black paper bag trousers and a pair of Chanel flats.

The door opened to reveal a room that looked exactly like the Slytherin common room only the table in front of the fire was covered in alcohol and snacks. Blaise, Draco, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle were sat in a small group off to the side. Draco’s head snapped up when he heard the door open and he looked as though his breath catched in his throat. You knew he was trying not to stare but it was like he couldn’t move his eyes off you. You’d be lying if you said this wasn’t the effect you wanted to have. Daphne ran off to a 6th year boy that she had been flirting with and you and Lily headed over to your friends.

“You made it!” Blaise exaclaimed getting up to hug you.

You saw dracos knuckles whiten even more as he gripped his butterbeer. You hugged Blaise back, after all, it was Draco who wanted to keep the two of you a secret. Blaise hugged Lily too and the two of you sat down. You made a point to sit directly opposite Draco, forcing Blaise to sit on the arm of the sofa with his arm resting on its back. A butterbeer had been forced into your hand which you sipped every once in a while whilst making conversation with your friends. You had noticed Pansy almost sticking to Draco’s side. She’d laugh overly loud at any small thing he said, even if it wasn’t funny, and failed to get Draco to dance with her numerous times.

After a while the 7th years announced the commencement of a drinking game. They placed an empty bottle on the floor and spun it, if it landed on you, you had to choose a truth or a dare, if you didnt want to do the option you selected, youd have to take a double shot of firewhiskey. You chose to sit it out, standing on the outside of the circle only a few steps away from Draco, who coincidentally also decided to sit out.

“I like the blouse” He commented, taking a swig of his butterbeer

“Thank you, it was a gift” You replied, folding your arms together to accentuate your cleavage. 

“Would have preferred you wearing it with just the two of us. Goyle won’t stop staring at you.”

“Well if you offered to take me to a nicer place than a broom cupboard or the empty classroom on the fourth floor, then maybe I’d wear it”

“I was told you were talking to Granger today”

“And? Am I not allowed to speak to people?”

“Not that filthy mudblood”

“Does it really hurt your feelings that bad that she’s smarter than you despite being muggle born that the ONLY thing you can comment on is her blood status?”

“I don’t want you to be seen talking to her again”

“Newsflash, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m not Parkinson, I won’t obey you like some lost dog.” And with that you moved further away from him leaning on a column in the corner of the room. 

So far people had only chosen to spill truths, some choosing to take shots instead of their truths. Daphne and her little boyfriend had been dared to enjoy 7 minutes in heaven, made possible by a random broom cupboard supplied by the room of requirement, it had been more than seven minutes and you were sure you’d get a detailed play by play back in the dorms. The empty bottle of fire whiskey landed on Charlie, he joined hogwarts in 5th year after being in America for the last few years.

“Truth or dare Charles?” Blaise asked, rubbing his hands together

“Truth”

“Who do you think is the most beautiful girl in this room?”

“Oh that’s easy, Y/N”

The whole group turned to look at you. You could see from the corner of your eye that Draco had tensed up. He himself slowly turned his head to look at you

“I have to admit, Charlie, you have great taste. You’ll go far in this world” You said, smiling.

“I’ll go as far as you want me to”

This caused the whole group to laugh and return to their game. You checked the clock and saw that it was getting close to 1am. You tapped Lily’s shoulder and she got up.

“Leaving already girls?” Blaise asked from his spot infront of the fire

“It’s getting late, parties aren’t Y/N’s scene anymore anyway” Lily replied smoothing out her skirt

“I’ll walk you back to the dormitory, I’m rather bored here myself” Draco offered, finally getting free of Pansy

“No need, Lily and I are big girls, we can get ourselves back without Filch finding us.” You replied cooly

“I insist”

“No no, Draco. Stay, enjoy the festivities”

You and Lily snuck out of the room of requirement and returned to the dorms undetected.

“What was going on with you and Draco?” She asked while the two of you were getting ready for bed

“Nothing”

“It sounded like the two of you were having a tense conversation”

“You know how Draco can be, always trying to one up everyone”

“Did you hear about Pansy and Draco?” She asked once she was comfy in her bed.

“No” you put your hair brush back in the drawer and got under your own covers

“I heard from Marietta in the year above that Parkinson was bragging about how her and Draco went on a date today. Apparently he took her to the black lake for a picnic”

“Well good for them, I hope they’re happy”

“I know you like him but maybe now she’ll stop being such a raging bitch”

“Maybe, goodnight Lily”

“Goodnight Y/N”

You weren’t crazy, you knew Draco wasn’t stupid enough to even attempt to cheat on you. Your family was just as affluent and your father was just as influential as Lucius for him to know that a cheating scandal between two of the oldest pure blood lines would not turn out well for him. Yet it did nothing to stop the anger bubbling up inside you.

You and Draco began to get closer during your 5th year. You two studied together often and you both were prefects, made to patrol the corridors at night. It was inevitable for the two of you to strike up a bond. You didnt expect your bond to become so strong that an owl would end up dropping a letter on your bed one rainy summer afternoon, with a letter from Draco enclosed about how bored he was over the holiday. The two of you sent letters back and forth, he even floo’d into your bedroom when your parents were out. On the first hogsmeade trip of the year, he asked you to join him and he asked you to be his girlfriend. However, he wanted to keep your relationship a secret. He knew that people would talk and both of your parents would find out, it would lead to talks for the future, something he was not ready for. You saw where he was coming from and agreed, you just didn’t think it would end up like this. In the beginning he tried, he really did, he’d leave cute notes in your bag, he’d hold your hand under the table, save you a seat at dinner, even sneak you into his dormitory, but a few weeks ago, it all suddenly seemed to stop. But you were sick of it. You deserved to be treated better than you were being treated right now.

You awoke on Sunday feeling slightly less angry than you did when you went to sleep. Sunday’s were the day you and Draco would lock yourselves in an old empty classroom on the fourth floor and finally get to be yourselves. You went down to breakfast and sat in your usual seat, waiting for him to make his way down. You were half way through a bowl of cereal when you noticed him walk in with his boys, and Pansy. You dropped your spoon into your bowl causing milk to splash everywhere

“Merlin’s beard Y/N!” Daphne yelled, scooching to the side

You and Lily grabbed some napkins to clean up the small spillage.

“I’ve suddenly lost my appetite” You deadpanned

You got up and walked past draco, purposely bumping his shoulder on your way out. It hurt you more than it hurt him but you still had a point to make.

“Jeez Y/L/N, watch where youre-” Pansy Scoffed

“Oh fuck off pansy” 

“Y/N!” 

You ignored him and carried on walking out of the hall. You heard his footsteps behind you and he managed to catch up to you, grabbing you by the wrist.

“What is the matter with you?” He demanded

“Me? What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothings wrong with me you’re the one acting crazy”

“Firstly, I don’t like your tone. If you’re going to shout at me I refuse to listen to another word.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand what the issue is”

“My issue is YOU”

You ended up raising your voice to a volume too loud for Draco’s liking and he pulled you into a nearby storage cupboard.

“This is my problem draco, being forced to hide everything. Arguing in a fucking broom cupboard for fucks sake.” You sighed

“Y/N, you know how-“

“No, I am tired, Draco, sick and tired of hiding, of keeping secrets, of not being able to come and collapse next to you when I’m upset”

“You can still do that,”

“No I can’t, you always surrounded by one of your posse members. If it’s not Crabbe or Goyle then it’s fucking Parkinson. Did you know she’s going round telling everyone you took her to the black lake for a picnic?”

“She said what? I didn’t even see her yesterday, Blaise and I went to the quidditch pitch after breakfast.” He had a face of visible disgust on his face at the thought of people thinking him and Pansy were a thing.

“Well yeah now the whole school thinks you’re going out with Parkinson and you’re not going to say anything to stop those rumours”

“You know why, princess”

“Yeah you don’t want to think about the future. But if thinking about a future with me really scares you so much Draco, why are you still with me? Surely if you just kept yourself single, you’d have no future to worry about and no girlfriend breathing down your neck”

“You know that’s not what I mean”

“Then what do you mean? Because -” you cut him off, you were starting to get annoyed and he could sense it

“If you stopped interrupting me, I’d be able to explain my thoughts” He said calmly, placing both his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him in the eye.

“Speak then”

“Yes I don’t want to think about my future. I don’t want to think about what ministry career I’ll be forced into to keep up my family’s reputation, who I’ll be forced to call my friend for the sake of appearances, what I need to name my first born child. I don’t want to think about all the skeletons in the Malfoy family wardrobe that I’ve yet to discover. This, me and you, it’s so innocent, so pure. You get me, you see me for more than my family name. And I want to protect this. I don’t want our parents getting involved and tainting what we have.”

“It’s the only way we-”

“Interrupt me once more and I’ll hex you.” 

You closed your mouth and decided to listen for just a short while more.

“However, if the key to your happiness, and the future of our relationship, is for everyone, including our parents, to find out about us. Then I will walk straight into that hall and stand on the table and announce it to the whole school.”

“You really mean that?”

He nodded

“So if your father sent you an owl tomorrow that says we have to get married in the summer...” you linked your wrists together behind his neck, swaying slightly as you looked up at him

“I’ll marry you. I would sacrifice my own life if it meant I could see you smile.”

“Bit dramatic there, Malfoy” you laughed

“You taught me well, Y/L/N”

“I’d rather you didn’t embarrass the both of us by getting up on the table. You can hold my hand though.”

“Anything for the Slytherin princess.”

You smiled and gave him a quick kiss before getting out of the broom closet. Draco took your hand and held it firmly in his as you both walked into the great hall.

He started to think out loud about his breakfast but you watched for the reactions of your peers as you made your way to your table, no one was really shocked, most of them looked up and smiled excitedly before chattering to their friends, you walked past the gryffindor table and heard the words ‘bet’ and ‘owe’ get thrown about. Once you got to your friends Draco waited for you to sit down, right next to Pansy, before sitting on your other side with his arm around your waist.

“Y/L/N and Malfoy? I never saw that one coming” Blaise laughed, the sarcasm evident in his voice.

“Well get used to it, Zabini, cause you’ll be seeing it a whole lot more” You responded, moving closer into Draco’s lap.

Long gone were the days of hiding, as well as the days of Pansy Parkinson thinking she could steal your man. 

[dc41896]

Okay

Pairing: “Me” from Playing it CoolxBlack Reader

⚠️: Bit of angst, childbirth (nothing gruesome/explicit), fluff

“You really are an idiot,” Scott states soon after opening the door to see his tired looking friend.

“I see you’ve talked with Y/N.”

“Yea I called her when you didn’t answer your phone since I had an idea I wanted to run by you. She answered crying and told me everything. Seriously man what is wrong with you?”

“Right now? I’m tired and have a headache,” he sighs sitting down on the couch letting his head fall back as the days prior events replay in his head.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?!,” you shout crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t coming to the hospital with you, I just don’t know about being in the actual hospital room.”

Just a few minutes ago, you and your boyfriend returned home from dinner with friends where an innocent question about if you were ready to see your bundle of joy turned into your current argument.

“And when were you gonna tell me this? When I went into labor and you drop me off to the room before turning back saying ‘bye babe! Call me when everything’s over’?!”

“Listen I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“It’s not only that you didn’t tell me before saying it in front of my friends,” you interrupt waddling towards the walk in closet to undress for bed. “It’s the fact that you’re voluntarily choosing to not be there for the birth of your first and, at this rate, only child and- ow!”

“You okay?,” he asks rushing to the closet, watching as you slowly take deep breaths with eyes squeezed shut rubbing under your swollen belly. At 37 weeks, the big day could happen at any moment now and it seemed like your Braxton Hicks were becoming more frequent as well.

“I’m fine, just cramps again.”

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure,” you sigh pulling one of his shirts over your head. “Trust me the minute that moment comes I’ll tell you so you can steer clear.”

“Babe cmon it’s not- Ugh! God please don’t bring that thing out.”

Referring to the C-shaped pregnancy pillow in your arms, he mentally groaned while you slowly lied down to get comfortable. He knew it greatly helped you sleep during those particularly tough nights where you just couldn’t seem to find your sweet spot of the bed, but he still hated how it took his job from him. He was the one that was supposed to give you cuddles and comfort, not that thing.

He swore sometimes that if it had a nice face, the right equipment, and could cook it’d probably be his replacement.

“Might as well get used to comforting myself since someone isn’t gonna be there to do it,” you counter glaring at him as you aggressively hit the pillow a few times before turning your back to him.

“Babe,” he sighs with hands on his hips waiting for your response. “C’mon I know you’re not asleep that fast.” Still stuck with the site of your back, a smirk forms on his lips as he walks to his side of the bed.

“Fine, since you’re mad guess I’ll leave you be. Go wander the streets alone.”

Anytime he’d talk about going out by himself at night, you’d always immediately grow concerned telling him how he really shouldn’t go out so late and stay with you instead, followed by your infamous pout. It was his foolproof way of wiggling back in your good graces.

Yet tonight, nothing.

“Go out for a drive by myself out on roads where anything could happen...”

Silence. Now he was hurt himself.

“Woww so you really don’t want me here? Alright then.”

Hearing him collect his keys and footsteps eventually leave the room, going down the hall until the apartment door clicked shut behind him caused a lone tear to fall from your eye. You didn’t want him to leave, but it would’ve been a lie to say seeing his face didn’t make you see red right now.

“Do you know what’s going on in daddy’s head? Hm?,” you sniffle looking down at your abdomen, grazing your fingertips along the dark line hidden beneath your shirt.

“Why don’t you want to be in the room with her? You do realize you don’t have to see everything that’s gonna be happening down there right?”

“Yes I know Scott. Plus I’ve watched enough birthing videos that, whether I like it or not, I pretty much know what’s gonna be happening and when without even looking.”

“Then what is it?! What is so important that you’re choosing not to be there to support your girlfriend, the mother of your child, the woman you told me when you first saw her you knew you’d marry her-,”

“I don’t want to lose her okay!?”

“....and telling her you don’t want to be there..is supposed to keep her..?,” Scott asks genuinely confused, and slightly concerned, at his friend’s methods.

“No I don’t mean....”

He groans leaning forward with elbows on his knees, hiding his face in his palms trying to collect his thoughts.

“The first woman that I loved, who was supposed to love me back, left me with my grandpa who eventually passed away, leaving me again. I don’t want to, but I keep wondering what if it’s Y/N, the baby, or heaven forbid both of them next?” Wiping his tears with his sleeve, his red eyes meet the sympathetic ones of Scott moving to sit next to him. “And if all that were to happen in front of me in that hospital room-,”

“Hey don’t think about what could go wrong. Y/N and the baby will be fine, and when they’re ready, will come back home with you driving so unbearably slow that even old people will flip you off. Which will then make you mad and cuss them out and be part of the origin story of how my godchild will yell their first curse word at daycare.”

“You can see that far ahead huh?,” he chuckles as Scott claps him on the shoulder.

“Yep, just like I know you’re not gonna let the what if’s stop you from being one of, if not the very first, face your baby sees when they come in this world.”

He was right. He couldn’t let his head and fears get in the way of the most important day of his life. Well, aside from his own birth that is.

Before he could thank his friend for helping get everything off his chest, Scott’s phone loudly vibrating on the coffee table causes both men to worry seeing your name flash on the screen.

“Hey Y/N. Yea, he’s right-wait now?!” Automatically, both men jump up from the couch rushing to get their jackets and keys before nearly trampling each other trying to get out the door. “O..okay, yea we’re coming, don’t push anything out yet.”

“Scott hold on. I don’t know-,”

“Nope, no second thoughts. We’ve been over this, everything’s gonna go well and in a few minutes you’re gonna be holding both your babies,” he smiles putting his hands on his friend’s shoulders.

“Thanks, but I was gonna say I don’t know which hospital we’re going to,” he finishes.

“Ohh! Right, on it!”

———

It was as if everything was a blur as they sped through busy streets filled with those either trying to get to the hottest club or bar, or just trying to get home having already enjoyed their Saturday evening. Yet through the weaving in and out of lanes and hoping there were no cops near them, his heart never raced as fast as it was now standing outside your emergency room door.

“I can do this. Everything will be fine,” he thinks to himself as he takes a breath turning the cold, metal knob of the white door. He’s a bit taken aback seeing you in the bed in your hospital gown on all fours trying your best to be calm during your breathing exercises as your best friend rubs soothing circles on your back saying how amazing you’re doing.

“And you are?,” a nurse asks bringing everyone’s attention to him nervously stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his grey warm ups.

“I’m her boyfriend. A-and the father.”

“Oh, you’re here just in time. She’s pretty close to being fully dilated so if you want to go beside her you can. We’re just getting the last bit of supplies we’ll need.”

He couldn’t hear exactly what was said between you and Kylie, but from both of your expressions towards each other, he guessed it probably went something like:

“Mm, look who decided to show up.”

“Be nice. At least he did come.”

“He should’ve been here from the beginning though.”

“Here to let us know you’ll be waiting outside?,” Kylie quips standing tall to meet his eyes.

“Kylie..”

“No, I deserve that,” he states gripping the side rail of the bed. “I know I messed up, and if you don’t mind I’d like to speak with my girl in private please.”

Looking to you for confirmation, she waits for your small nod before collecting her jacket and purse.

“I’ll be in the waiting room if you need me,” she responds giving you a final comforting rub on your shoulder before leaving the two of you alone.

For a few minutes, the only sounds heard in the room is the beeps from your heart monitor along with your soft, deep breaths as you occasionally rock back, nearly sitting with your legs under you, then forth again resting your forehead on the lifted part of the bed that once held your back.

“Crazy how the position that got us here is what’s helping you,” he chuckles to himself before quickly stopping once meeting your very annoyed and unamused eyes.

“If you’re just here because I made a big deal about it you can leave. I’m fine.”

“No I promise I want to be here.” Sitting in the nearby recliner, he scoots closer to you lacing his fingers between yours while his other hand finds your cheek gently grazing his thumb across your dewy, warm skin.

“Look, I’m sorry about not coming to you first when I was thinking of not being in here with you. I’m sorry for even thinking about it in the first place.”

“Why did you think it though?,” you ask now lifting your head to be eye level with your boyfriend. “Were you afraid of passing out or getting sick? Because if so that’s okay, all you had to do was say-,”

“No, that’s not the reason.” At your concerned tone a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips leaning in to kiss your temple.

“I was afraid of something going wrong and losing one or both of you. I already lost my mom and grandpa, I just didn’t want either one of you to be next right there in front of me.”

Doing your best to sit on your legs, you shift your body in his direction taking his face in your palms. Both of you enjoying the feel of his soft scruff against your skin.

“Honey everything’s gonna be fine,” you smile wiping his couple tears away. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because you’ve been so positive and excited this whole time. I didn’t want to be the one to make you start worrying.”

“Although it may seem that way, I assure you I’ve been a nervous wreck pretty much this whole pregnancy,” you chuckle quickly wiping a stray tear from your own cheek.

“Nervous about what?”

“Everything. If the baby was okay in there if I didn’t feel them move, if I they’d like me, if I’d be a good mom. Even if you’d still love me with all my physical and emotional changes.”

“I assure you that you’re gonna be a great mom and our baby is gonna love you so much not only because of how amazing and wonderful you are, and will be to them, but also because I won’t let them even think about disliking you,” he smiles as you let out a small laugh while you both wipe away each other’s tears.

“Thank you.”

“And don’t worry about me still loving you. You got me wrapped around that finger of yours so tight it doesn’t make sense. Then don’t even get me started on how attracted I am with your gorgeous eyes. Adorable nose. Those lips that make me-,”

“Ah..AH!,” you shout grabbing your stomach with one hand and tightly gripping the railing with the other.

“What is it? Another contraction?”

“Yea a-and I think I feel the head coming out,” you reply with voice shaking trying to look to find out, but of course only being met with your giant belly. ���T-then again I-I don’t know, but it feels like I have to poop. Wait, am I pooping on myself?!”

“Baby shh, relax okay? Breathe,” he instructs gently holding your chin so you’d do your breathing exercises with him as he moves your gown to peek for himself. “I don’t see anything, but I’m gonna call the nurse okay?”

“O..okay. Babe?”

“Yea?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he smiles kissing your lips again still pressing the call button as if it was his job.

“And please don’t judge me if I do poop on myself,” you add making him laugh.

“I promise I won’t.”

———

“You got another smile for me, huh? C’mon I know you do,” he quietly coo’s in his baby voice gently rubbing the back of his index finger against his daughter’s delicate cheek. “There it is! Hi sweetheart.”

“No, no more smiles for him. He claimed you as a boy this whole time, I know you heard him.”

“Tell mommy don’t be jealous. You have a smile coming for her too don’t you Saylor?”

“You better,” you smile resting your head on his shoulder, looking down at your beautiful baby girl with slick dark hair peeking out from her little pink beanie. “I don’t appreciate being peed on as soon as we met.”

“Hey it wasn’t her fault. Being born was a wild experience, wasn’t it sweetie?”

“Imagine how mommy felt,” you giggle as he carefully places the bundle in your arms after kissing the top of her head. Sure enough, as soon as her grey eyes met yours it was as if she was hooked, staring at you and eventually curling her tiny lips into another heart melting smile.

“Yea, I had the same look on my face when I first saw her too,” he adds, cold nose touching your cheek making you grin and gently nudge his shoulder with yours.

“You’re such a dork,” you reply before pressing your soft lips on his.

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[wonniesmile]

❥ i-land (theme song)

⤷ ellie and the 12 other applicants of i-land are introduced to their very first performance mission.

⤷ word count: 3.3k+

⤷ warning: this is all purely fictional, none of the arguments and conflicts within this series is a true reflection of the trainees. everything you read is made up from my pea-sized brain.

⤷ *italics = english / italics + bold = japanese*

ellie was somehow coping...she made new friends! there was this one trainee named sunghoon who she became close to after bonding over their love for skating and then there was nicholas, who she found really entertaining. she was relaxing on her bed talking to jake when the alarms started ringing, “in 10 minutes, we will reveal the first test.” she shoots up, “we just got here...” she sighs and rushes out the door, pulling jake along with her. the other i-landers were rushing to the main room.

jake and ellie reach the mission room, sitting in chairs right beside each other. as the i-landers fill up the space, the big monitor in front of them plays a video, “that’s sick.” ellie whispers. “from now on, you have a common destiny.” ellie raises her eyebrows in anticipation. “for the four tests to come, you’ll be collectively responsible for every result.” ellie runs a hand through her hair. “the average of individuals’ scores will be the team’s score, that result will determine the number of people to be eliminated from the i-land.” the screen shows a table and ellie's mouth gapes open in shock. so what she’s seeing is, if they get anything below a 96, it guarantees an elimination...the boys beside her all gasp. “it means, everybody should get a high score for many people to stay in the i-land.” she furrowed her eyebrows. “so we all have to do well.” a trainee by the name of geonu says, “if one person does bad, it impacts everyone else.” ellie adds, the trainees around her nod their heads in agreement. “...and for the elimination.” ellie’s breath hitched, “you’ll be decided by yourself.” she groans and buries her face in her hands. “now, for determining the destiny of the collective on i-land, the first test is going to be revealed.” ellie’s eyes go wide. part of herself feels excited at the thought of their very first performance, but the other part...mhm...not so much. the screen changes and on it read the words ‘signal song’. she cocks her head in confusion. immediately, a video starts playing and the first beats of the song are heard, “oh my, it’s a song just for us!” she yelps excitedly. one side of the screen read the lyrics and the other side played the choreography. “wah...” speechless, that’s how she felt. after witnessing the entirety of the first ever song, ellie claps her hands in amusement. “i love it!” she yells, throwing her hands up. the boys laugh at her reaction. seon takes the lead, yet again, after the trainees calm down. he explains which parts get the most lines and center time, as well as those that don’t get as much. “parts 8-13 only go once.” jay mentions. she bites her lip, feeling the sweat build up on the crook of her neck. she felt anxious. she could not get any part more than a 7, she just couldn’t. analyzing the lyrics more, ellie falls deep in thought. “hey.” jake snaps her out of her thoughts, “you ok?” she nods her head, “what do i do?” she gets anxious thinking about the choosing of parts, “you’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” jake turns his body to face her, “whatever part you get, i know you’ll shine.” he smiles and she instantly relaxes, “thanks jake.” she smiles at him, the apples of her cheeks on full blast. “from now, decide the signal song’s part.” ellie sighs, “you can change the part at any time.” she darts her eyes around the room, analyzing others’ reactions, “this test will begin in 7 days.” she gasps, “7 days?!” she turns to jake, “that’s barely enough time, my god.” the countdown appears on the egg and her heart drops to her feet. the trainees around her all exclaim, “they weren’t kidding huh.” jake says and ellie laughs, she’s losing her mind. “then what should we do first?” asks daniel. seon answers him right away, once again taking the lead. jay follows up soon after, “i think first, we need to sing...because the center has to hit all those high notes.” the conversation flows on and ellie blanks out, only nodding her head every now and then. heeseung decides to speak up after noticing the state of the conversation, suggesting the idea of learning the main choreography, first, then coming back together as a whole to decide the parts. everyone nods their heads in agreement. jake and ellie decide to head back to their room, where they are met with a few trainees, one being ni-ki. “what part are you going for ellie?” he asks in japanese, “i don’t know...anything below a 7 would be fine, i guess.” she responds back, “i’ll just go with the flow.” ni-ki nods his head, “i want part 1.” he says, switching back into korean. “don’t we all...” ellie sighs and flings her body onto the soft mattress of the bed. it’s been a few hours since the first test was announced and both ellie and ni-ki had already learned 80% of the choreography, focusing on the chorus. the trainees watch in awe. “ni-ki! ellie!” k yells in surprise. “they’re so good.” sunghoon mentions soon after. ellie smiles as the applicants clap them on. finishing up, she turns to face ni-ki and they give each other a high five, feeling exhilarated by the sudden compliments. “why are you guys so good?” sunghoon asks the two. ellie thanks him and with sass, flips her hair over her shoulder, ending it with a wink. the trainees pretend to fall over at her cute action and she laughs. the trainees were gathered in the dance room, once again, all deciding on parts for the signal song. the discussion was led by heeseung, who she has been wanting to get close to after seeing his performance during the entrance test. ellie drowns the voices out, deciding to tune back in after she calms herself down. “so, let’s take audition voluntarily and get judged by us.” was the first sentence you heard as you bring yourself back into reality, “so we are voting again?” heeseung (half-jokingly) says, “no, not the voting!” sunghoon pleads and the rest laugh. ellie smiles and looks down. “i think we should decide everything today.” heeseung says. “i agree, i think it’s better if we get all the parts down today so that we’ll have more time to prepare for the actual performance.” ellie speaks for the first time in, what felt like, an eternity. the trainees hum in approval. heeseung helps plan out the rest of the week, deciding on learning everything for the first two days and then perfecting it after the two days were up. “hands up if you want to do part 1.” the audition process starts for the parts. the trainees all look at each other in anticipation, feeling out the air. “should i count to five?” daniel asks after realizing no one had raised their hands up. the young boy starts his countdown and by the end, still no hands up. ellie’s heart rate quickens, she wants it...she wants it so bad. she bites her bottom lip. “then, does anybody want to recommend someone?” ellie looks around as the trainees agree with heeseung’s idea. both sunghoon and youngbin gain the applicants’ attention as they raise their hands up. sunghoon shyly points his hand towards heeseung, “i recommend heeseung!” he says, shooting finger guns at him. ellie wasn’t going to lie, in her heart she knew heeseung had what it takes to completely own the stage...but she wanted to prove herself. she snaps out of her thoughts with the sound of laughter. “he said it, and he can’t control how he feels.” she overhears. ellie looks around the circle, her eyes landing on the boy next to her, ni-ki. “hey, you ok?” she whispers, nudging him a bit. “if you want part 1, go for it.” she encourages him with a wink and he musters up a smile, “heeseung gets part 1!” ellie snaps her head to look back into the circle, “oh.” she sighs in defeat. ‘stupid. you should’ve raised your hand up.’ she mentally slaps herself on the head. the whole ‘choosing parts’ process took way longer than what ellie had hoped. she ended up landing a spot on part 2a, part 2b going to geonu. she was more than satisfied with her parts, but part of her still wanted that stupid part 1. “ta ta ta.” heeseung keeps the beat for the other trainees as they practice their dance, ellie follows along smoothly, having already memorized the whole dance a few minutes prior to when heeseung decided to take the lead. looking to her left, she notices a struggling jake and youngbin, her eyes immediately softening. she taps the two on the shoulders, “need help?” she asks and they both exhale, “yes please.” jake says. she pulls the two away from the bigger group to help them get a one on one practice, adhering to their pace. “perfect!” ellie smiles and claps at the two, finally finishing the dance, “youngbin, for this move,” quickly demonstrating, “try extending your arms out more to make it look cleaner...and after that, i think you’re all set!” she smiles, the apples of her cheeks becoming very prominent. youngbin bows towards her, “thank you ellie. this means so much.” he says with a dramatic tone. ellie giggles and pats his back, “of course, kind sir.” jake laughs first, ellie and youngbin follow immediately after. “should we do freestyle?” ni-ki suggests, “daniel can beatbox!” nicholas points at the young boy as he starts a beat. the i-landers were in the practice room taking a short break after practicing for hours on end. “shall we start? whichever bpm.” ni-ki says. ellie looks around with a glint in her eyes. “you should go up.” jake nudges her, “absolutely not, i’m scared.” she yell-whispers. jay is the first one up, “hey jay! hey jay!” the trainees start chanting. he rides the beat slowly and immediately starts showing off his dance steps, “oh!” ellie exclaims, waving her arms around. ni-ki is next, stepping out with a few flashy moves. the i-landers all exclaim, “wah ni-ki!” ellie yells, clapping her hands. he finishes off with a pose and everyone falls to the ground in excitement. “ellie...” jay suddenly starts, “ellie! ellie!” the chanting grows stronger while ellie gets flustered, “uh...i shouldn’t” she scratches the back of her neck, “ellie! ellie!” next to her, jake smiles, “c’mon!” ellie sighs and smirks, “alrighty then.” daniel changes the beat and her demeanor changes. stepping out, riding the beat, she starts off with a bit of popping. showing off every dance style she knows, the i-landers all yell to hype her up. feeding off of the energy in the practice room, she finishes off with a pose, “oh my god!” they all yell and come closer to her. nicholas lifts her up and they all start chanting her name, “what is happening?!” she laughs. the boy puts her down, “you’re amazing!” nicholas pats her head and she thanks him. “you never said you could freestyle?” ni-ki says with a smile, “well, the topic never got brought up...so...” she shrugs. the mood was tense as the trainees sat down, waiting to show off what they’ve learned in the little time that they were given. earlier that day, someone was arguing about the choreography, she wasn’t there to completely witness everything because she was getting water, but when she came back, everyone had a gloomy look on their face. jungwon was up first, performing perfectly even after the little time they had to practice. she’s always admired the boy, he was very talented and they were the same age, but she’s been too scared to strike up a conversation with him. he finishes off and the trainees clap, “you did well!” k compliments him. like always, ellie blanks out, getting anxious at the thought of performing in front of everyone, especially when they’re all examining the smallest details. it’s not like she doesn’t know she’ll do well, she knows she can pull it off, but she was still nervous. “ellie, you’re up!” heeseung says. the girl slowly arises from her seat, jake cheering her on. she looks around and makes eye contact with ni-ki, who mouths a, “fighting!” she smiles and mouths a thank you back. she gets to her starting position and the music starts. her body flows with the music effortlessly, completely ridding her mind off of all the thoughts that run recklessly in her brain. “that was amazing!” heeseung exclaims. she bows and calms her breathing. ni-ki whispers something to heeseung and ellie’s heart race quickens, “just say it out loud.” heeseung encourages ni-ki, “that was the best performance yet.” he quickly says, looking down. ellie smiles and bows again, “thank you!” the trainees cheer her on as she sits down next to jungwon, “you’re really good.” he compliments her. she blushes, “you too!” the silence between the grows larger, “um...2004 right?” he suddenly asks. ellie nods her head, “september 3.” she adds on. jungwon nods, “february 9.” he says, smiling to himself. “im older!” he was quick about it. ellie rolls her eyes and the two have a hearty laugh. ellie learned a lot about the boy during the few minutes they had together. he used to do taekwondo and he really loves his grandma. oh! he also has this weird obsession with curry? anyways, ellie examined the boy while he was talking. he had doe like eyes, sparkling every time he’d talk about a topic he loved. he had deep, prominent dimples that would show up every time he spoke. he also does this (really cute) thing where he furrows his eyebrows every time he- “jake! you’re up!” ellie shakes her head to get rid of the thoughts, “go jakey!” she yells for support. clapping her hands she turns back to jungwon, “he’ll do great, i know he will.” jungwon nods and smiles... during jake’s performance, ellie notices ni-ki whispering something to heeseung. her anxiety shoots up and she bites her lips, “you ok?” jungwon asks from besides her, voice laced with worry as he notices her legs bounce up and down, “oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” ellie reassures him, smiling slightly. jake has been doing amazing, maybe even better than some of the other trainees. he finishes off his dance and waits in anticipation for feedback. “ni-ki thinks that jake’s performance was one of the best by far.” jake smiles and bows, breathing out in relief. ellie’s eyes widen and she claps excitingly for her friend. standing up, she runs over to him, attacking him with a bear hug, “i knew you’d do great, mate!” she says. jake laughs and pulls her down to sit. there has been so much tension surrounding i-land during the past few days and ellie had no clue what was going on, resorting to keeping to herself and eating every once in a while. back in the dance practice room, seon whispers something to k and the next thing she knew, they were all gathered on the steps of the entrance. she looks down at her fingers, playing around with them. “i know that i’m not good and all,” youngbin musters up the courage to start, “i was ok with dancing in groups of two...” he stops to take a breath, “but heeseung made us dance one by one, i understand why you needed to see us one by one, i felt horrible and was really humiliated.” ellie’s breathing hitched, “if i’m being honest, i cried...i cried.” he sighs, finally expressing his feelings. an uneasy air filled the room, “we shouldn’t be worrying right now.” heeseung starts, ellie’s head turns towards him, “if we voted for someone to lead us, then we should trust and follow that person...we’re running out of time.” ellie felt for both sides. she knew how youngbin felt, the dreading feeling of having to perform in front of many people when he wasn’t ready to, but she also saw where heeseung was coming from. it was a bit unfair, you know? from ellie’s eyes, it seemed like they were blaming heeseung for everything...but she knew in her heart that he just wanted what was best for the team, it may have come off as a bit aggressive, but he was trying his best, giving up most of his own practice time to help the rest of the trainees. she witnessed him the other day, alone in the small corner room, looking distressed, but she decided to leave him be. “it’s fitting that heeseung is in the center, but you’re really good and you keep hanging out with those who are good, so the team’s balance is off...that’s what i personally.” daniel adds on. “i said this the first day, i predicted this...” heeseung nods his head and ellie’s eyebrows rise, “so on the first day, i said i didn’t want to be center. i knew it would result in this so that’s why i said that.” the boy starts biting his nails, a habit that ellie noticed he did every time he felt anxious, “it’s not about completing the choreography, but it has to look good...i wanted to lead you that way, but i didn’t tell you in advance, and planned on my own and got ahead of myself.” he admits, “i personally think that it’d be best if i’m not the center.” heeseung looks down at his lap, forfeiting his role as the center. everyone looks at him in shock, including ellie, “i really mean it.”  after a long meeting, ni-ki gets part 1 as the new center, while heeseung takes part 10. heeseung smiles at the young boy and slowly excuses himself from the room. ellie notices from afar and excuses herself as well.  carefully following the boy, her heart rate quickens. they both reach the corner room together, “hey ellie.” he says, turning around to smile at her, “wanna talk about it?” heeseung takes a seat, grabbing a cushion, “actually, could you just stay here with me?” ellie’s eyes widen and she quickly agrees, taking the empty seat next to him. “would you mind?” he says, gesturing to her shoulder, “oh, not at all!” he places his head on her shoulders and sighs. the silence was deafening. ellie wraps her arms around his head, ever so gently rubbing his beanie as a way to comfort the boy. that’s when the tears started. ellie’s eyes soften immediately and she looks up, trying not to let the tears spill, a tactic she learned from the last time, “it’s so hard, ellie.” heeseung says in between sobs, “i know, i know it is, but everything will work itself out, you did an amazing job.” hearing her words of encouragement made heeseung cry more, “shh, it’s alright, let it all out.” she rubs his shoulders. the two stayed in each other’s comforting presence for a good amount of time. the day had come, the countdown was getting closer and closer to 0, ellie was so anxious. “ellie! you look amazing!” jake compliments the girl, “same goes for you!” they laugh. “ellie and jake! let’s take a pic together!” heeseung calls the two over and ellie happily obliges.  they all had their mics on and ellie felt absolutely nauseous, but she held it down for the sake of the performance. she goes to the corner of the room to warm up her voice some more, “i-landers, please report to the stage.” ellie’s face drops. she grabs jakes hands and he squeezes it, “you’ll do great, mate.” ellie smiles at him, “the same goes for you, mate.” alright ellie, you got this.