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affiesque · 9 months

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So, after surviving a crappy year, I decided my reward would be yet another rewatch of Desire Catcher. I know this fandom is kinda tiny, but I always enjoy reading other people’s random thoughts and observations so I thought I’d throw mine out there too.

There are, of course, a bunch of different crime-related plot lines in the show, but this is basically going to just be me yelling about Luo Fei and Lu Fengping, seeing as I remain obsessed with them. I’m always up for discussing these two nerds in love, so feel free to tag me or message me (*waves to @thinkonce-acttwice!*). I’m at about the halfway point now, so I’ll post again once I finish the rest of the episodes.

Overall, I really like Desire Catcher - the various bits of plot don’t quite come together in the end, but for me it’s more about the relationships and themes of revenge, regret, and forgiveness. So, lots of angst, which I’m always a big fan of, and which I suppose says something about me…

Luo Fei! Light of my life, the silent, broody, lone wolf cop - ACAB, of course, but he’s firmly in sad (not-so-little) man territory, which is catnip to me. Plus he has a collection of black leather jackets - need I say more?

Lu Fengping! Other light of my life - Luo Fei’s future boyfriend, I mean consulting hypnotist, the more outgoing, “quirky” one. He’s always in light colors, dashing around with a lollipop in his mouth (I know there's a cute connection with his mom about them, but that aside, “oral fixation vibes” anyone?), teasing everyone around him - contrasted with Luo Fei’s dark colors, grim expressions, and workaholic nature. Though it’s interesting that as the show goes on it becomes clear that some of Lu Fengping’s affectations are really a mask he puts on to hide his pain (yay, angst!).

Their first real meeting happens over a meal; it’s dark, it’s raining, there’s thunder in the distance - foreboding and romantic all at once. There’s definitely a teasing/flirty vibe there, though Luo Fei seems wary of Lu Fengping - in fairness, Lu Fengping is sort of using him for info on his mom’s murder case, though it gets a lot more complicated than that as time goes on.

While there’s a lot of emphasis on their differences (e.g., dark vs. light), it’s interesting to note how similar Luo Fei and Lu Fengping actually are, even if they don’t see it yet. For example, Luo Fei has trance-like visions as he imagines what happened at a crime scene, much like how Lu Fengping sort of walks around in someone’s mind/memories when he’s hypnotizing them.

So I know this is mainly about the boyfriends, but I want to say that I love all the other members of the investigation team too, especially Liang Yin - definitely not a fan of the “woman suffers for man pain” thing, but they do give her a couple of moments of reclaiming her agency, which I liked.

Luo Fei and Lu Fengping kind of dance around the whole I-know-you-know-more-about-my-mom’s-death thing for most of the first half of the show, at least until it all comes out when Lu Fengping hypnotizes Luo Fei (and WTF suggesting that Zhang Yu - you were supposed to be the show’s moral compass!). Like I get that by this point they’re becoming closer, feeling more open to each other, but still - you’re just rooting around in his brain without permission, my guy. Yikes.

I’m a big fan of parallels and I think we get a pretty significant one here between Luo Fei/Lu Fengping and the story of the relationship between Xiao Xifeng and Tu Liansheng. While you could certainly read it as just two longtime friends, the flashback scenes of them raising the abandoned kid together certainly give off a “couple-y” vibe. Given that the show can’t come right out and say anyone is actually gay/queer, to me it’s a way of floating the idea out there and letting people draw their own conclusions.

Speaking of reading into things, I had to go there and look up the various books shown strewn around Lu Fengping’s apartment. There were two romance novels (“Crimes of the Heart” by Allie Harrison and “Yesterday’s Bride” by Charlotte Walker), another female-centric novel (“Things to Make and Mend” by Ruth Thomas), a financial memoir (“The Age of Turbulence” by Alan Greenspan), and, my personal fav, some gay French shit (“Remembrance of Things Past” by Marcel Proust). Kind of an odd combo of things, but there are some bits that do seem to fit with the themes of the show - lots of misunderstandings, mistakes, not wanting to lose the people close to you. The Greenspan book is more of an outlier, but it does have the theme of “the invisible hand” - it’s mainly an economic term, but you could extrapolate it more generally to people acting on instinct, rather than in a calculated way, sort of like how Lu Fengping’s mom acts to save Liang Yin, setting off a chain of events (kind of a stretch, though). And I guess I don’t have to say much about the Proust - feels like the kind of book you’d use as shorthand for “some gay stuff is happening here, folks.” Plus, the book deals with memory and how people can perceive the same thing in totally different ways, which seems relevant to the mom’s death story line.

Getting back to the gay stuff, there were definitely a few things that made me 👀. First, when Lu Fengping says “no problem” a little too forcefully when Luo Fei tells him to wait outside while he changes - like, “don’t worry, bro, I totally don’t want to see you naked, nope, not at all, hahaha” (combine that with his comment “You don’t like men? Haha, neither do I!” in a later episode to Liang Yin - feels like he’s protesting a bit much). Second, they’re always kind of flirty with each other, even if it’s subtle. There just seems to be a bit of subtext in a line like “You’re in a pretty unique situation” when Luo Fei sees Lu Fengping facedown on the floor at one point, not to mention the looks they give each other when Lu Fengping ends up stumbling to his knees in front of Luo Fei (and you can’t tell me that that was a totally accidental push on the part of Lu Fengping’s mentor - he totally ships them too, IMHO). Third, you can’t overlook the jealousy that rears its head when Luo Fei sees Lu Fengping getting flirty with the (eventually evil) nurse, or when he thinks Lu Fengping brought a girl home to his apartment. Fourth, there are several bits of convo that play around with subtext and seem aimed at the audience with a wink and a nudge. For example, there’s the bit in the car where Lu Fengping brings up marriage (sure, it’s in reference to a different character, but Luo Fei has a justifiable WTF reaction), asks if Luo Fei has a girlfriend, and basically tries to set him up with a female client of his (who, it should be noted, sounds suspiciously like Lu Fengping himself - “very outgoing; your personalities complement each other very well”) in the span of about 10 seconds. Luo Fei gives him his best “bitch, please” look and ditches him - I’m with you on this one, boo. Then there’s a weird bit of dialogue when they’re searching a suspect’s very neat and orderly apartment - Lu Fengping says “A man living by himself can keep a place like this clean. He wouldn’t be that thing…” - long pause, pointed look at Luo Fei - “OCD or something like that?” The audience knows at this point that Luo Fei’s apartment is just as well-kept, and there seems to be an implication that Lu Fengping is actually referring to the stereotype of gay men being very neat. And how could I not mention the fight scene in the gym - beyond the groping, grunting, and full-body contact of their grappling session, the looks they give each other afterward, the small smiles when the other isn’t looking, Lu Fengping thanking Luo Fei for bringing flowers to his mom’s grave - it’s a lot.

DATE NIGHT! (Sorry, I just get really excited about this part.) So here we have Mr. Uptight, known-to-not-drink-with-his co-workers-ever Luo Fei agreeing to go out with Lu Fengping after work and proceeding to get shitfaced (or does he…? He seems suspiciously sober after Lu Fengping puts him to bed and leaves the room). It’s tropey (drunken piggyback ride), it’s sweet (Lu Fengping tearing up when he sees he’s been added to the work group chat), it’s typical man shit (drinking instead of talking about feelings). They’re both just so tender and raw right under the surface and it makes me slightly feral, ngl. Also, the bit with Luo Fei’s parents there in the morning - I love how Lu Fengping immediately charms them and how they rush off like, “oops, sorry son, didn’t realize you brought a 'friend' home - we didn’t mean to interrupt!” And, of course, Liang Yin’s knowing smile when she sees them show up to work together the next morning; at this point in the show I’m not sure there’s any character who doesn’t ship it…

On a sad note, poor Xiao Liu - all he wanted was for his boss Luo Fei to be proud of him. Sure, he fucked up a couple of times, but he still didn’t deserve to get stabbed to death like that, nor just become another brick in the wall of Luo Fei’s “man pain.” (Also, WTF Luo Fei - do not throw papers at your subordinates - not cool, bro.) I’m probably reading too much into things, but there was kind of an undercurrent of Xiao Liu having a little bit of a crush on Luo Fei - he seemed so sad that Luo Fei had drinks with Lu Fengping almost immediately after meeting him, while Xiao Liu had been waiting to do that with Luo Fei for years. Interesting to note too that Xiao Liu also favored lighter-colored clothing, much like Lu Fengping (more of the light vs. dark trope).

Alright, well, this got away from me a bit… Looking forward to the second half of DC and all that delicious angst. 🖤

#desire catcher #lu fengping x luo fei #lu fengping #luo fei #my recap

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secret-strawberry · 2 years

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tagged by @palewhitehorse to do these! thank you!!

What book are you currently reading? like 3 at once that I got for Christmas but mostly The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie. it's a comedy spy novel which doesn't sound like a genre i'd be into but so far i am enjoying myself a lot i think it's hilarious lol

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? this has made me realize that i don't think i saw any movies in the theatre this year?? what??? well. i've been watching the Scream movies for the first time at home and i like them!

What do you usually wear? i'd say a hoodie and jeans is my go-to

How tall are you? 5'6!

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? virgo; i was born the day hurricane katrina started

Do you go by your name or a nick-name? i use L online now which my discord friends call me sometimes. yes i got it from death note but I like it as a second name because it's very gender

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? i wouldn't say i'm completely grown up yet but no, my plans have changed quite a bit from when I wanted to be a pediatrician. i want to be a psychologist now :)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? nope! i had a crush on this guy a while ago after we talked for like an hour while waiting in the airport but it left once i realized i didn't actually know much about him- i think my mind constructed someone to fixate on because it was bored 💀

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? i'm going to half-copy vi and say i'm good at editing prose/writing essays but i'm horrible at following through with projects due to losing interest/motivation </3

Dogs or cats? in theory, cats, but i've never had one so i couldn't say if i'd end up preferring that to dog ownership

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? hmmm. i like this line from my poem "On Love that will Outlive Me" about a girl who takes on the ocean as her (metaphorical?) lover: "I suppose I was selfish in choosing you. When I'm gone, I will not feel the loss of it." But I don't really have favorite lines individually; usually what I'm most proud of is a paragraph of nice description or a piece that ties up a theme neatly. My favorite piece I did this year (technically still a WIP but) is a short story called "Someone Still Loves You" because it explores the concept of community grief.

What’s something you would like to create content for? as you can probably tell by my ao3 lol i love writing for light and L because their relationship is so weird that it's fun to explore. also, i feel comfortable with their characters because i know them well (or i like to think i do)-- so any franchise that matches those two qualifiers i would love to dive into as well (house md, for example!)

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? sherlock holmes is my current fixation; it's not as intense as my House M.D phase but lately I've been really interested in reading all of the original stories and watching CBS' Elementary. i think i'll probably do Columbo next.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? i'm not sure, i guess my birthday? i didn't end up celebrating because it was right around the time that 2 of my close friends moved away and i had to cut off another one ,,, yikes

What’s a hidden talent of yours? not sure if this qualifies as a talent but people always seem shocked when they find out i know American Sign Language (HUGE hyperfixation during middle school, i went through 5 courses online and self-taught)

Are you religious? not anymore!

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? mm peaches (i'm playing animal crossing)

these questions were great :D i'm going to tag @ceeingstars, @bemorekleinman, @akireu-13, @mxoreo, and @random-blep if y'all feel like doing this, but no pressure!

#speaking into the ether

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maddambone · 8 days

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autism vs adhd: hyper fixations

ok so there is a lot in common with autism and adhd but there not the same thing if I had to explain it its something like this.

autism is a spectral condition based on the social mechanisms of the brain and effects stuff like social skills, emotional processing, self understanding, stuff like that and adhd is a spectral disorder that effects nervus system stuff like focus, memory, energy management, pain management, yeah.

so I think autistic hyper fixations work like bonding, you know how the brain rewards you for spending time with someone by making you care about that person well what if it did that with not just people, like autistic people tend to yap on and on about something almost as if there gossiping about it and tend to have hobbies based around the fixation so they can spend more time with it you know as if there bonding with it like if it was a loved one, autistic people will also tend to fixate on things they where interested in as a kid, for that is what they have spent more time with and will tend to have new fixations from time to time but will still tend have at least the 1 childhood fixation.

adhd hyper fixation is a lot more accurate to the word "hyperfixation" as rather then spending a lot of time on something like your bonding with it, it makes up for your lack of focus before by giving you more focus then normal so adhd fixations tend to be shorter random and more intense witch makes you put more effort into it learning it faster, but you can also get over stimulated by it if you stay hyper focused for too long or if you keep getting interrupted by something else or have to focus on something else at the same time as hyper fixating, adhd fixations seem way more random as well not always giving you the focus for recent fixations or fixating on things that are not really important or nostalgic to you at the moment if at all, it can be a pain in the ass to work with even when medicated because the medication (or at least mine?) just gives you strength to use focus on things that are not a fixation it does not stop you from burning your self out on a fixation and it does not give you control of what you hyper fixate on its kind of a mess in my experience.

#autism vs adhd #yapping #autism #adhd #nerodivergent #sonic vs shadow

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onigiri-dorkk · 2 years

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Some thoughts after reading twt flare ups against Rivamika (🙄):

Most people throw a fit about Mikasa (22) versus Levi (37) post-series mainly because they’re fixated on 15 year old Mikasa and 30 year old Levi. Which I get. But also it’s not our fault that they can’t get over the fact that Mikasa grows up.

Then when they think of 22 vs. 37 their main concern is that in real life, those ages will be at completely different stages and places in life and have nothing to relate. Which I also get; that it’s an obstacle or a concern (but it’s not impossible to work out)

HOWEVER.

In the world of Attack on Titan, 22 year old Mikasa and 37 year old Levi HAVE. LITERALLY. BEEN. THROUGH. IT. ALL. TOGETHER. They have shared life experience together, and a shit load of it. They’ve served together. Traveled together. Shed blood and tears and risked their lives for each other. And those two specifically saved the world; they hit the final blow. People throw a fit thinking Levi would be seen as a creep for dating a 22 year old, but it’s not just a random chick he met on the street who he thinks is attractive? Mikasa has been his comrade for 7 years AND has become his right hand woman for much of that time.

On top of shared experiences, their loyalty and respect and care for each other is on another level. It’s a general consensus even in real life that admiration precedes attraction. Y’all can be best of friends for years, but a moment happens when you realize that friend is amazing and boom. Wanna marry her. 😂

People who don’t think that’s realistic for someone like Levi and his trusted comrade of 7 years, who also so happens to be a really freakin beautiful woman, AND who also happens to be comparable in strength and potentially now even stronger than him (like? When has that ever existed in Levi’s life?)… COME ON. A woman in his life who doesn’t have to be afraid of his strength??? A woman who won’t be afraid of his past as a soldier and the things he had to do??? Don’t get me started on how Mikasa has also always been the only one who isn’t afraid to speak up to Levi.

More realistic things! Levi has lived a life of suffering since he was a BABY. Life was never certain and sure for him. His mother passed, he almost died from malnourishment, he lost someone who he thought was maybe his father, he left the Underground, he lost Isabel and Farlan, he lost practically every squad and soldier he’s been given, he lost Erwin and Hange. That man has never once had a break. I don’t care how cold or against love he might be based on his trauma, but a post-war Levi would naturally want to find companionship and love. HE IS A 37 YEAR OLD MAN. Can’t tell me he hasn’t thought about love and settling down!!! And you can’t tell me that man will settle for a basic binch who he has zero shared experience with, who will likely be afraid of his superhuman strength, etc.

Another thing to address. Every Levi ship is with someone dead. EXCEPT MIKASA. (And honorable mention, Onyankapon LOL) Nothing else to say there.

Okay. I’m done here LOL. Just in my feelings for Rivamika this week. The nerve people have to say incest, p3do and say Levi would be a creep to date Mikasa. The fandom is dumb. 😩

#rivamika #levimika #levi x mikasa #mikasa x levi #levimikasa

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fructidor · 3 years

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I feel I need to explain this, or else I look like a mess.

MBTI Cognitive Functions, explained by Yours Truly

In MBTI, there are eight (8) cognitive functions that are used to represent the brain and it’s functioning processes. These cognitive functions are based off of scales of Intuition vs. Sensing and Thinking vs. Feeling, as well as Introversion vs. Extraversion in terms of function use. You take the primary four functions, one of each scale, to make a cognitive stack. This cognitive stack then determines your type.

The Cognitive Stack

For this, let’s use the most common type, ISTJ, as an example.

Si > Te > Fi > Ne

In the cognitive stack, you cannot have two extraverted or introverted functions next to each other. You also need one of each scale (you cannot have Fe and Fi, for example.)

There is also a special order to the stack.

Your first function is your dominant function. It is the one you use the most. In ISTJ’s case, it is Si.

Your second function is your auxiliary function. It is the one you use the second most. In ISTJ’s case, it is Te.

Your third function is your tertiary function. It is the one you need to work on and develop, or else you will become toxic. In ISTJ’s case, it is Fi.

Finally, your fourth function is the one that you are terrible at using, and causes you pain to use. It often contradicts your dominant function. In ISTJ’s case, it is Ne.

The Eight Cognitive Functions

(descriptions not by me)

Ne (Extroverted Intuition)

Brainstorming, thinking outside the box, idea generation. Ne easily hops from idea to idea, while making abstract connections. Many artists & writers use significant Ne in their work. To the outside, Ne seems quick, random, and extremely “jumpy.”

Ni (Introverted Intuition)

Time-space awareness, predicting the future, hunches. Ni is a far-reaching, visionary function—and can picture the future, sometimes with scary-accurate results.

Te (Extroverted Thinking)

Facts, pros and cons, methodological step-by-step strategies. Te respects rules and regulations—and takes great pride in a job well done. Checklists and clear-cut meeting agendas get Te’s gears going—a top-down approach floats its boat.

Ti (Introverted Thinking)

Iterations, holistic reasoning, agile strategies. Ti takes a bottom-up approach to problem-solving, and fixates on information management. When new data comes in that contradicts old beliefs, Ti will shift like a fluid crystalline framework.

Fe (Extroverted Feeling)

Expressive emotions, social norms, etiquette. Fe respects the consensus of the group, and puts harmony above personal desires. The function often acts as a mediator between groups, as it naturally puts others’ needs above its own.

Fi (Introverted Feeling)

Values, personal notions of “right” and “wrong,” likes and dislikes. Fi is a deeply personal and intense function that digs to the core of the human condition. Convictions, morals, and strong beliefs all fall under the Fi umbrella.

Se (Extroverted Sensing)

Taking action, using all five senses, going forward. Se takes in the present moment in its entirety, and makes rapid decisions on the fly. During times of crisis and emergencies, individuals with primary or auxiliary Se can make the best out of the situation.

Si (Introverted Sensing)

Associations, metaphors, nostalgia. Si can travel back to any point in time through a single scent or sound. Important information (and sometimes interesting trivia) is stored in filing cabinets, where it can be retrieved at any later time.

The 16 MBTI Types

INTJ ( Ni > Te > Fi > Se )

INTP ( Ti > Ne > Si > Fe )

ENTJ ( Te > Ni > Se > Fi )

ENTP ( Ne > Ti > Fe > Si )

INFJ ( Ni > Fe > Ti > Se )

INFP ( Fi > Ne > Si > Te )

ENFJ ( Fe > Ni > Se > Ti )

ENFP ( Ne > Fi > Te > Si )

ISTJ ( Si > Te > Fi > Ne )

ISFJ ( Si > Fe > Ti > Ne )

ESTJ ( Te > Si > Ne > Fi )

ESFJ ( Fe > Si > Ne > Ti )

ISTP ( Ti > Se > Ni > Fe )

ISFP ( Fi > Se > Ni > Te )

ESTP ( Se > Ti > Fe > Ni )

ESFP ( Se > Fi > Te > Ni )

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

- The Ne dom ESTJ

#lisa rambles #mbti #cognitive functions #Si #Ne #Te #Ti #Fe #Fi #Se #Ni #serious post

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palukoo · 3 years

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So! @thxngam and @claudiasjeancregg enabled me to talk about that scene in Dead Irish Writers and oh boy did I run with it!

So... the scene is super interesting for several reasons... let’s dive in...

It’s a scene that’s just women, and, by West Wing standards, several women, and you realize you’ve never really seen all the main women together without the men before that, I think. I mean, you also really haven’t seen how Donna and Abbey interact, which is why this scene is so good

The four of them actually have two scenes with this sort of thing off the top of my head-- this, and then during Zoey’s kidnapping arc with Amy and CJ trying to stop Abbey from going into the press room (though Donna doesn’t talk in that one)

I probably will bring this up again but on top of this not being a dynamic the audience has seen before, I don’t think it’s a dynamic that they’ve had before in this combination... like...

Any group of two of them I will accept having spent some time together, though I doubt Donna and Abbey are close (partially due to the power dynamics I’ll get into later) and Donna and Amy don’t know each other well

Any group of the three of them? Not so much

Amy, CJ, and Abbey maybe, because they do say or imply that Amy knows both of them and is friends (?) with both of them before we ever see her, but... I don’t see her as being particularly close with the campaign or administration, so... (but I’m SO glad we get it here and during the kidnapping arc)

Amy, CJ, and Donna is a dynamic I adore and that I think this scene kinda opens the door for it in a lot of ways but again, since I don’t think Amy and Donna are close at all at this point and Amy’s not that close the the administration at this point, I don’t see it

CJ, Donna, and Abbey I will absolutely accept actually but not in any sort of like meaningful or non professional context. The way Donna reacts to being invited in in this scene? This is new for her

Amy, Donna, and Abbey? Nope. Love it as a concept, but nope

So the four of them? Yeah, no

Which is relevant in like. The way women get to interact on screen and like. The way women are isolated in male dominated fields

(Amy, working for the WLC, is certainly in a less male dominated subset of the male dominated field of politics, as is Donna since a bunch of the assistants are women, and I get that Abbey has a very specific and gendered position in the show, but she and CJ are both absolutely in male driven fields)

And it’s relevant because Abbey’s shifting her anger into this like, feminist framing where she doesn’t not have a point (I’ll get there) but it’s also not really the whole story at all, which is why I think it was very smart of them to have it be this group to call her on it, because from any of the guys it would’ve been... easily yikes?

The other absolutely crazy thing here is the power dynamics which I know people have talked about before and CJ even calls attention to but you’ve got like

Abbey is sort of CJ’s boss, and her friend, but the nature of their positions in the administration are weird and they’re both honestly undermined a fair amount but a lot of the admin doesn’t take First Lady/Abbey seriously, so! It’s interesting!

Not in a direct sort of way but CJ clearly has more power than Donna, and they’re also friends

Do the math on Abbey and Donna, plus again we don’t really see them interact before this

Amy sort of exists outside of this, because she’s the only one who doesn’t work in the White House, but that also like. Is a dynamic in it of itself. She also definitely has a more visible and overtly powerful position than Donna and is sort dating Donna’s boss, so?

Also Abbey used to babysit for Amy which just makes this. A lot!

So I’m gonna try to sort of break the scene up into parts and do it like that. If I wanted to make this even longer, I would start before this scene because there’s a lot of relevant context/lead up, but I’ll just mention it

Donna’s just found out she’s not a citizen which is a lot

Amy’s kind of pissed at Josh who’s kind of pissed at her

Abbey’s also kind of pissed at Josh probably, especially if she caught any of what he was saying to Amy

Abbey didn’t want a whole thing and is obviously stressed about her license

CJ’s the one who caught that the guy was recusing himself and had to tell Abbey

“Claudia Jean?” “Yes, ma’am?” “Let’s go get drunk.” “Okay” should be a master class in acting

Also relevant is Abbey choosing CJ and Amy to get drunk with for this. They’re career women in politics who are her friends and who should understand this sort of.

So they get to the residence... “Awasiwi Odinak, far from the things of man...”

Abbey instantly cuts to complaining about Jed bc she’s angry at him and in her defense only some of it is misplaced!

But like... she says “what a jackass” and CJ immediately says “I’m gonna open the wine” in a very “can we not do this” way, and Amy just... is there. Hanging out. Trying to open drawers

As a note on that there is no way Amy’s being like. Genuine there. I love how awkward she is but she’s not about to take notes while getting drunk with them. She’s being awkward and funny and avoidant and I love her (like as a random note Amy is... very rarely still)

When she comes to sit with them and sits on the arm of the couch, it’s a really interesting detail that I see as her sitting as far away from them as she can without it seeming so blatant

And Abbey keeps talking, and neither of them really respond

CJ with the corkscrew is of course iconic and funny and I think it’s part of the reason the scene works and it makes sense because CJ’s uncomfortable in this scene. Her rambling about the corkscrew prevents her, momentarily, from being in this uncomfortable position that she’s put into so much more later where she’s thrown into the issues of Abbey and Jed’s marriage and she really doesn’t want to be because she has a ton of respect and care for both of them

What I mean by “the reason the scene works” is that it needs to keep being drawn back to funny before it can snap. It’s a very specific kind of bubbling tension, and I really like it

Abbey saying “I’m board certified in thoracic surgery” brings you back to the fact that maybe she won’t be for very long, but it’s said as a joke and moved on from quickly, so you can’t dwell on it

I describe Abbey in this scene as “erratically vulnerable” which I don’t know if that’s quite right, but I think there’s maybe a glimpse of her realizing what she’s saying here, and the specific implications in that moment, and then changing subjects immediately

And of course she asks Amy about Josh...

What I find really interesting about this is Amy’s response of “he’s... you know... he’s adjusting.”

Amy doesn’t pull punches with Josh usually, but she does here (she also seems to earlier when she tells him he’s right, but then she gets Abbey to bug him) and I think it’s because we’re seeing her talk about Josh, not to Josh

Abbey says “well let him adjust faster. Jackass.” which is again, funny, but so so indicative of how frustrated she is and how she’s taking it out because literally earlier in the episode she says to Amy and Josh something like “I still haven’t gotten credit for this (I love them and their responses of “we’ll see” and “jury’s still out” to that)

Enter Donna!

Side note on timing, Donna walking in as Abbey insults Josh vs Abbey walking up as Josh insults Abbey

Donna coming in shifts this scene a lot

For one thing, it sets up this interesting play (that feels like me being really contrived and probably is) on audience proxy, that if I get into will only complicate things so I guess... if you’re curious, ask

(Donna plays audience proxy a lot in The West Wing as they explain political concepts and whatnot, and it’s not a thing you see so much in these really character driven scenes because it becomes unnecessary and sort of clunky

But the thing is that in this scene at this point, Amy feels very audience proxy-y... I will concede that in any given scene it’s easy for me to default, in analysis, to Amy and her perspective, but she feels very much like an observer of CJ’s jokes and Abbey’s anger thus far in the scene-- it definitely shifts back to Donna after the fade out)

I also want to shout out Donna’s body language here! The way she steps in cautiously and plays with her hands as she talks is really good at showing her discomfort, and I think it’s neat to draw a parallel here between her and Amy a minute or two before. Like, seriously though, watch her hands in this scene. It’s so good

But Donna walking in this room shifts things!!

Pulls attention to the... D plot? I don’t know, it’s the B plot of the scene, but there’s a lot going on in this episode, which is funny in the context of watching it if not for Donna, and away from Abbey’s heavy plot here, like a pressure valve in that tension I was talking about. Donna looks nervous here, but everyone else seems to relax

It also makes this more of a... White House thing. Like, because Abbey and Donna specifically probably have not been friends much, it further complicates the lines between personal and professional relationships here

But let’s actually talk about the dialogue a little bit, because I think it’s really funny that she’s there looking for Amy for Josh, when Josh knows she left to get drunk with CJ and Abbey, and there’s not a second in that room where Amy is going to leave. It somehow feels shoehorned/plot device-y but also in character at the same time?

The line is “Josh was looking for Amy” to which Abbey says “She’s right here” and Amy just waves weirdly with half her hand since she’s holding her glass. Yes I know I keep fixating a little on Amy’s physicality, but it’s SO good

And then Abbey says “Where have you been all night?”

One of my FAVORITE exchanges this episode is “It’s a little tough to explain, ma’am.” “Tougher to explain than secretly prescribing Betaseron?”

The way Abbey jokes about it!! It’s very specific because it’s not an “I’m moving past it so I can joke about it” it’s that she’s specifically bitter and it comes out... not hostile, but something

That’s sort of what I mean by erratic vulnerability?

Donna explaining the citizenship issue with CJ’s convenient questions is a nice break, like I said, and Amy’s “you seem pretty calm about it” gives Donna the room to freak out about it a little

And Donna freaking out about it a little gives Abbey room to be the “rational” one? Not exactly?

It’s also just a nice contrast in how they show their anxieties and it works really well for them as characters

Donna goes to leave, and Abbey invites her to stay

Which is also interesting? Since like I said, I don’t think they’re friends

But it’s also super in character because there’s something very grandiose about Abbey and it’s there in this scene. Like she... wants an audience? Even as she’s sort of trying to get away from this room where she’s forced to perform? I don’t know

Donna’s genuine excitement here is so cute

She sits even further from them than Amy had, on a chair instead of the couches

Another great exchange? “I probably shouldn’t drink, though” “I wouldn’t worry about it!”

There’s also something a little awkward and desperate about Amy’s “Canadian, huh?” like she’s trying to fill the silence and keep it from driving straight back to Abbey’s anger and identity crisis, and I just like how they play off each other here

CJ "opens" the bottle, Abbey says they'll decant it, Amy says "Now it's a party" and does the most iconic slide from the arm of the couch onto the cushions with Abbey

And then it cuts back in, and they're all boozier, especially, evidently, CJ!

But there’s something to be said, if we’re tracing body language, for Donna now being on the couch and Amy leaning into Abbey so much

With the later context that they’ve known each other since Amy was a kid, I accept it, but it’s absolutely crazy in the context of Abbey as the First Lady and Amy joining them because “you think I don’t wanna write a book some day?”

I mean, I love it either way, but it makes more sense with the retroactive context

I love love love CJ laughing and rambling about the cork and the wine and then you get another really important shift. Because Abbey seems annoyed in general but more amused than anything by CJ’s tangents before the fade out, and she’s at this point way less endeared.

Which totally makes sense, of course, ‘cause if you’re stressed and frustrated, anything is going to annoy you, including and honestly especially your friend being rambly about something completely irrelevant

I also love Donna looking around at Abbey and Amy while CJ is talking trying to make like conspiratorially amused eye contact, it’s a really subtle, human detail

Anyways, Abbey interrupts CJ to make her stop (This is another body language thing where I love how leaned back she is, how she rubs at her forehead as CJ keeps going on)

And it’s here I’m gonna start being REALLY pedantic probably

“Mrs. Bartlet, I wanted to ask you a question but I’m not sure how” “What?”

First of all, this feels so... soft? This is actually why I’ll accept the babysitter thing

Amy playing with Abbey’s dress is so! good! Look, Amy’s so fidgety and I adore it!!

Also, I love this because Amy clearly doesn’t really want to ask, but she’s also not good at keeping quiet when something is bothering her

“Well, if the most they can give you is a year's suspension, is it...?” “That big a deal?”

Amy stops herself! Because she doesn’t want to say it! Or doesn’t know how to

Amy never actually criticizes her in this scene, which is neat, because Amy’s practically introduced to us through criticizing Abbey. One of her first lines in the show is “[Abbey] isn’t doing enough for women” and she has lines like “I’ll keep poking him with a stick. That’s how I show my love” but in Privateers, Josh also tells her “it’s okay to tell her you disagree with her” while Amy’s refusing to go against her. It’s not inconsistent-- I just think Amy has a think about criticizing Abbey to her face, kind of, and here, while Abbey’s this upset, of course she’s hesitant at best

“Yes.” “Yes. I'm a doctor. It's not like changing your major. You of all people should...”

Abbey really says this to Amy “who has had seven jobs in three years” Gardner, Amy “and I’d [stake my job and career on a political issue] again” Gardner... “you of all people should...” Amy’s a career driven feminist lobbyist, but she’s not someone who can tie her identity to a job which is the real issue Abbey’s having, she just wants to frame it like this

I love the way Amy looks down during this, too

(“You of all people should...” makes a lot more sense, actually, after Amy loses her job because of her and Josh’s political fights over marriage incentives in welfare reauthorization)

((Also, how many times did Donna change her major? It’s not relevant, really, it just makes this an even funnier room for Abbey to say this in))

“I mean, women talk about their husbands overshadowing their careers. Mine got eaten”

She’s valid for being angry about this, but also she’s conflating things. She’s not losing her license just because of Jed

Like, it’s fair for her to hate how much of herself and her career and her life she’s had to give up because her husband is the president. I think it’s important, even with Donna’s also valid criticism here in a minute, that Abbey’s not being irrationally upset. It’s a choice she played a part in making, but it was never going to be a good choice for her, and it isn’t really fair to her, and it isn’t really any one person’s fault

And yes, I DO love how Abbey talks with her hands here. It’s that kind of grandiose thing about her

“Your husband got eaten” “My career” “Yeah, well, I’m on dangling modifier patrol” “What is your problem?”

I’m going to lose it a little bit here, because it’s really funny at face value

Like, this is one of my favorite tww comedic moments. The timing is so good. But trying to analyze this scene? Watching this scene multiple times? This is them being snippy with each other. CJ is upset here, with Abbey

(One of the things I really like about Sorkin-style rapid fire dialogue is that there’s a rewatchability where you pick up on different things each time)

CJ’s really subtle about it, which is... CJ is very subtle about her emotions a lot and there’s something similar you can look at throughout the show as a whole and also this episode in particular with the different ways that she, Abbey, and Jed learn to put on facades and deal with being very, very public people. Abbey in particular in this episode has a lot of rapid demeanor shifts, but you get the same thing from CJ going to brief in some of the heavier episodes, or, like, Jed at Leo’s funeral

I mean, really, the “What is your problem” feels way more jarring than anything CJ has said because outwardly she’s just been joking, but there’s... a tension or something? A flatness to her voice? A lack of amusement? It’s a really stark contrast to how she’s been overly amused about the cork or whatever. It’s good, and I like that Abbey picks up on it and doesn’t let it keep going unspoken

I do wanna take a second here because CJ doesn’t fully answer, I don’t think, so I wanna answer for her

A part of it is just her loyalty to Jed, too, and specifically to the president I think, and the awkwardness of being thrown into Abbey being so disparaging about that

I also think that, as a character who takes on a lot of personal responsibility and, to an extent, guilt (less than some of the others, or at least less overtly), and internalizes a lot, it sort of bothers her that Abbey’s refusing to take responsibility here, like, at all, and that Abbey is externalizing all of her anger

The other thing is that we do unpack all of the team feeling betrayed and upset and angry with Jed and even sort of Leo during the whole MS plot, but we don’t really deal with any of them being angry with Abbey

And none of them would be, particularly, because she’s not their boss, their career, their friend, but she is CJ’s friend

She tells CJ “I wanted to be there when you were told” but she didn’t say “I wanted to tell you” (which. I could write a lot more about this but this is already too long)

And I think CJ hasn’t had any opportunity to address or unpack that

Oh, and here we see CJ refilling her own AND Donna’s glasses, meaning Donna is drinking. I would love to see the full transition between the scenes tbh

“Are you First Lady right now?” I love CJ’s sigh leading up to that, the way she doesn’t want to get into it

“What are you talking about?” “Sometimes you like to talk, and I think that’s great, but sometimes you're Abbey and sometimes you’re my boss, and I respect both very much, but--”

HOW is CJ this eloquent moments after the corkscrew monologue?

No, but this is really it, and speaking of taking things under the surface and calling them out (wow, I did it, the whole analysis, right there...), CJ is just shining a massive light on the weird power dynamics here, and that everyone in this room other than Abbey has a really, really valid reason to feel uneasy in this conversation because of those power dynamic

“I’m Abbey.” “Yes, I agree with her”

Cutting it off right here because I love how quick they are with this. Like, it’s Sorkin, so duh, but Abbey’s hand up cutting CJ off and as soon as she’s spoken, CJ jumping in to say what she wants to

This is interesting because Amy hasn’t exactly made a point for CJ to agree with, also. Like, it’s supposed to be “is it really a big deal?” but Amy did not say that. I just think it’s neat

Also, because I’m obsessed with CJ and Amy’s implied friendship, I love this moment

“Look, they take this job away from me, I got nothing. I don't have a cat. I could get one, but I don't have one. Frankly, I'm not wild about cats. I don't hate them. I'm just not... I could learn to like them, I guess, if I...”

CJ losing the thread here again gives the scene it’s rhythm... it’s ebb and flow of tension and humor... it’s funny, to watch this, but you also kind of want to get back to the point, too

“CJ?” (with the pointed arm motion, too) “You've got a husband, children, a home and a life. And we're talking about one year of your not having a medical license.”

I think CJ is mostly being like “It’s not all you are” and sort of “stop complaining” but it’s also a step away from a point that Amy also ends up approaching, which is... First Lady is a weird position, and they do something specific with it in the west wing

Essentially, neither Abbey nor Helen wants it and it sort of becomes about sacrifice and loyalty and public and political and private life balance, but the First Lady is a public figure, with responsibilities and powers and careers, and it’s fair to on a professional level be upset with Abbey for being so dismissive about those

It’s also fair for Abbey to resent being thrust into this role she doesn’t want

“Jed got censured, and that came with no tangible penalty, and it was a banner headline, and he's having a slow nervous breakdown.”

The way I interpret this is both that she’s bitter at having to bear the tangible penalty of the two of them, and she’s trying to justify being upset at it, at the perceived injustice

ALSO, Abbey’s voice here makes me want to cry, because she sounds like she’s about to cry, and I realize half of this analysis is me saying “Yeah they were right to call Abbey out” but like. You do feel for Abbey here. You understand why she made the choices she did and why she’s upset at having made them, at being put in a position to make them

CJ looking away and almost rolling her eyes here is also really good, she’s so frustrated at Abbey just willfully missing the point

“That’s different” “Why?” “‘Cause it is, and you know it.”

The thing that makes it different is actually, I think, basically the point Donna’s about to make. Like CJ’s close to making that same point, because the thing that makes it different is that what Abbey did is directly related to her doing her job poorly, essentially, and what Jed did isn’t, so of course she’s gonna get a more tangible penalty

“Okay, I’m First Lady again” “Okay.”

Abbey saying that is obviously a shield but also feels so vulnerable, like an admission that she can’t take it

CJ’s tone here is so good, too. Like she is backing off but the way she says it like “Okay well if you don’t wanna hear it that’s fine I guess”

Again, god, watch their hands

“You are First Lady, Abbey.” “Yes.” “And it’s not like it’s been a detour from healthcare” “No” “What, you’ve expanded Medicare to...” etc etc

Cutting in after that and keeping talking about it is... pretty bold honestly

The thing here is that Amy’s both arguing CJ’s point, basically, of like, you still have things, a career, and reassuring Abbey and being like it’s not giving you or your priorities or your identity up

It’s very smart, and it reminds me that Amy is, in very specific circumstances, really good at this sort of communication

I also love that she can list all this off. Like, of course she can, but I love it

When CJ says “There’s plenty of stuff left” I really wonder if she’s supposed to mean to list or to do but I like the sort of ambiguity there

Here’s another bit where the tension subsides, and the thing is, this is a weird sort of fake out ‘cause it almost feels like that’s going to be it, but no one has said the thing, the tension hasn’t fully erupted yet

“That’s not the point” “What’s the point?”

The point is that Abbey never wanted this, it’s not her, and god, I want to hug her

“I’m a doctor” could be a really poignant beat because that’s also the thing Abbey hasn’t explicitly said yet, or at least not emphasized, that this is about feeling like her identity is being taken away

But do they let us sit with this line? No. If they gave us a beat here, Donna’s line would feel weird on several levels

“Oh, Mrs. Bartlet, for crying out loud, you were also a doctor when your husband said, ‘Give me the drugs, and don't tell anybody,’ and you said, ‘Okay.’”

Donna has not spoken, I should point out, since before the fade to black. It makes the line really slap you in the face. Everything about this line, from timing (immediately after line before, long pause after it) to who is saying it is designed for impact, surprise

She’s also saying it very nonchalantly, half laughing. There’s a lot about her delivery that is exasperated, genuinely frustrated criticism, but it’s also just... almost playful teasing for a second in there

More on why it’s Donna saying it, though

I think you just don’t expect Donna to be... it’s not quite rude. Antagonistic at all? Beyond like lightly teasing the others? Certainly not to Abbey especially with the lead in of her being surprised and honored by being invited to drink with them

Amy criticizing Abbey doesn’t have the same impact. She’s not a main character, you’re probably gonna take Abbey’s side, really, and Amy criticizing her, like I said, isn’t new

You can’t take the personal elements out of CJ saying it. You can’t. They don’t give us a ton of context on CJ and Abbey’s friendship, but it’s very clearly deep, and CJ has also already explicitly backed off as far as this conversation

Remember what I said about audience proxy? Donna’s kinda their go to every-man, and this also is a window into how the public would feel about it. For the like, hundredth time, Donna and Abbey are not close, and she’s as close as you can get in this show, maybe, to an objective messenger for this while it’s still from a trusted, likeable main character. You have to balance feeling for Abbey with Donna’s valid point here

Also, Donna’s really good at reading people and casually calling them out/breaking things down.

(Aka being a stand in for explaining things (if it’s political, explain it to Donna, if it’s someone’s emotional shit they’re too repressed to say but you want the audience to get anyway, explain it through Donna. This isn’t criticism, I exploit the second often in my fic)

See also: her and CJ in No Exit, her and Amy about Josh in Commencement

(Donna doesn’t actually look at Abbey like at all as she’s saying this. She’s mostly vaguely looking down or looking at Amy. I don’t know what to do with that, exactly)

Abbey’s stare here!! It’s... shellshocked. Because I don’t know that she really has processed like, no, this was your mistake too, you did have agency in this, etc, bc she’s been using the anger as a defense all episode

Amy’s face is comical here, which I think is mostly not expecting that from Donna (which is the point) or from anyone to Abbey. Based on their relationship, there’s probably some base defensiveness on Abbey’s behalf, but I also think, and this is more headcanon, that like this is a position Amy’s been in before

“I used to get you in some jams” “Yes you did” plus her whole vibe, I have to assume Amy’s stepped out of line with Abbey before

CJ doesn’t look surprised, because hey! She knows both Donna and Abbey well, so she can maybe see it coming more, and like I said, I think she was really about to make the same point before Abbey stopped her, kind of. She looks like she’s waiting for it to catch up with Donna

And catch up it does! She looks over, panicked, to CJ, like she’s just remembered the whole layout of power dynamics CJ articulated

“Oh my god. You switched back to First Lady” “That’s alright”

I love that the first thing Donna says isn’t an apology, isn’t saying she was wrong, she shouldn’t have said that, she’s out of line, it’s just panic

And the fact that Abbey quickly just reassures her after! It’s so good

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Bartlet” “It’s okay”

The camera staying on Abbey here is really smart, the way she shakes her head and you can watch her distracted reassurance, her processing

Even without the “O Canada” etc stunt, I would insist, from Abbey’s reaction here, that she really isn’t upset with Donna, she’s just upset, but she does know, really, that she needed to hear that, that she’ll be grateful for it

CJ and Amy both make faces that are kind of like... quietly agreeing with Donna. Like a “Well, yeah, and now it’s been said, and that’s... a relief?” It’s good for the release of tension they finally give us

“He took the censure standing up, Abbey. I was very proud to have voted for him that day.” “Me, too.”

This is not the place for me to unpack my feelings on Amy and Jed

Her calling her Abbey here is interesting, personal, considering she’s been calling her “Mrs. Bartlet” all night and they’ve explicitly gone over the “you switched back to first lady” but I think it really works for the line

With this, it’s different, too, because it did come with no tangible penalty for Jed, but it’s still... something about integrity, maybe.

And Abbey saying “Me, too” is so gently hopeful, in a way, and it’s the first positive thing she’s said about Jed this whole time, really, and it gives you a nice feeling, like it’s going to be okay. Abbey and Jed, and Abbey just as a person

Donna looks so sort of regretful here you just want to reassure her that Abbey really, really isn’t upset with her, that she appreciates it, but it’s okay because you get the Canadian flags at the end

“Let’s get back to the party” is sort of one of the switches I’m talking about with Abbey, and you need it to move the episode along, and it wraps it all up

anyways this is an 11 page document and i’m sorry

#tww #my post #The West Wing #abbey bartlet #cj cregg #amy gardner #donna moss #dead irish writers #hmm tumblr is the worst there was more formatting here in post editor with bullet points under each other like section headers #but now yall get an even less comprehensible version :))))

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scummy-writes · 4 years

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5k Followers Celebration!

I feel like a lot of folks are probably confused as to the amount of followers, but I’m going to dump that all under a read more! Right now I just want to focus on saying thanks, and! The best I can think of is a ‘thank you’ fic! (With a blabbery/rambling thank you under a read more).

A while ago I mentioned that once I hit my next milestone I would let you guys choose the next suitor to get pegged, so I made a handy little poll to do just that! It’s not set to gather any info outside of voting/written in suggestions (if you want) with the other (not required) qs.

Obviously, since there are a lot of suitors I can’t really write well at all, there’s only a few to pick from here, but I hope at least one suitor is someone you’ve been wanting to see get pegged! But, regardless, here is the poll: click me!

(Please do not try to write in other suitors)

I believe in the past I also mentioned doing a poll where it’s voting for a non-pegging fic, and while I want to do that as well, I am going to wait a few months before I do that. Just to see how this one goes, and to give myself a break in between writing for others vs writing for myself. I’m sorry if that’s a bit disappointing.

When it comes to the poll itself, I’m probably going to keep it open for three days, unless it seems like its getting a lot of votes still, then I might extend it to last a full week instead! Wanna give folks a good chance to vote qq

And now, time for Scum to attempt a coherent ‘thank you’!

I’m always pretty bad at these types of posts because in all honesty I don’t really like looking at numbers often, since it usually adds onto my anxiety and, admittedly, stresses me out. It’s hard to figure out things I want to say because of this, because I do want to thank folks, but I also want to clarify some viewpoints I have so I (hopefully) don’t give off bad mindsets to have with these things. Because I’ve seen that people often like shoving number counts as a way to ‘one up’ others or something really weird like that, and thankfully I have Not seen it in the ikevamp fandom much. (Or, I may be lucky and haven’t ran into people like that.) While it probably comes off as hypocritical to say, I greatly dislike the idea of numbers = worth. I hate it in the sense of how I’ve seen it rip friends apart or have been used as an excuse towards bullying others. Because of that, I don’t think I’m going to be making any posts about the amount of followers I have for a long, long, time, if at all, and it’s partly why I’ve avoided answering any anons or those fun tag meme things that ask to list a follower count. It’s obvious (I hope) that no, I do not have 5k followers that are purely from the ikevamp fandom. This is a mixture from the past fandoms I’ve been in (well, I was only in one for half a moment so maybe just Two fandoms), and surprisingly a lot of you have stuck around through the fandom changes. Admittedly, I wanted to figure out how many I had before writing for ikevamp, but I couldn’t find a way to find out old follower counts based off of dates. And then it opened up the can of worms of not having ‘picture proof’ if anyone asked for it, and instead able to only offer just a set ‘in all’ total.

This probably doesn’t sound coherent, but I hope it makes at least some sense: while I hate looking at my follower count or witnessing weird (negative) fixations* on others follower counts, I absolutely do not hate seeing all of the familiar names that pop up in my notifications. I don’t have any negative feelings towards any followers, and I get,,,,,,,cheesily,,,,,, overwhelmed,,,, when I see someone that followed me like 2 or 3 years ago interacting with posts I’ve made recently.

Knowing folks have stuck around with me for so long and are offering support in ways of just hanging around still means a lot, even when its often clear I don’t write for the fandoms they initially followed me for, and it always makes me happy (and sappy) to see urls that I remember. Even if they’re just liking a random text post I made ;;; It’s probably weird to do so, but, that’s what makes me the happiest.

That isn’t to say that I don’t remember newer faces! A lot of you interact with me a lot and are always extremely kind to remind me it’s okay for me to take breaks, it’s okay for me not to get out a new fic asap or for me to just chill out and breathe. You guys are also quick to give me encouragement when I need it, even if I’m not even directly asking for it, and there’s a lot of replies/anons/asks I go back and read that help me out when I’m feeling a bit low ;;

It always makes me scoff at myself when I say “I don’t know how to word this” or “I’m bad at words”, but I really hope that it’s clear that I do appreciate the people who support me, whether old or new. You guys have helped me a lot, encouraged me to keep writing when I’ve been close to given up way more often than I’d like to admit, and being able to talk to you guys makes me ;;; very happy and thankful, especially given current world events…

Thank you guys for talking to me and taking the time out of your day to read what I write, whether it’s a silly text post or a fic I worked on. Thank you guys for supporting me, whether it’s been ‘quietly’ or ‘loudly’. Thank you guys for ;;; treating me like a person, and acknowledging there’s someone behind the blog, because I have not been so lucky in the past, and I know others haven’t been either. Like. God. I am not exaggerating when I say this fandom has been the nicest I’ve been in so far. In past fandoms, I’ve been sent gore for liking a character, I’ve been stalked and harrassed for a year over liking another character. Having people who have stuck around through all of that means a lot, and having newer faces that are so kind to me means ;;;; a lot too. I’m very thankful for the kindness I receive every day.

This was very….Long winded… And probably confusing. But thank you for reading through this very rambly post. I’m sorry if my way of saying thanks is odd ;;;

*Do want to clarify that no matter how many followers someone has, I think it’s absolutely fine to celebrate getting so many followers. I think it’d be insanely hypocritical to say it wasn’t HAHA. In past fandoms people just used follower counts in so many hateful ways so it’s hard for me to talk about numbers given some unhealthy viewpoints I witnessed from others and had pushed on me back when I was starting this blog.

#the poll is ikevamp suitors so...#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #yeeeeeHAW

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ppatpranss · 4 years

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GAYA SA PELIKULA EP. 04 Review: Finding someone you can be alone together with

“Dahil taga-rito ka rin.”

Gaya Sa Pelikula is pretty much my fixation the past month, and I’ve reached peak devastation after Friday night’s episode. Being reminded that love is a beautiful thing can either make you happy or sad, or both. While it is true that there is nothing wrong about being alone, and that our feeling of completeness should not depend on another person, it still hits different when you find someone you can come home to. Or, in Vlad’s case, slowly realize that home might be Karl.

This show tells us that love is often a slow progress, that you don’t really find it in big moments. It’s in the small, everyday thing you notice or discover about a person. And maybe sometimes, all you need to get through a day is something as simple as a hug (something sorely missed in this time of pandemic). Karl and Vlad, thank you for that reminder.

Disclaimer: I kinda messed up the gif qualities for this post. Since I’ve no time to fix them now, I’ll just do better for the next episode huhu.

[WATCH THE EPISODE HERE]

youtube

Law of Proximity

It’s the day before Christmas and Karl is decorating the place. He’s obviously enthusiastic about it because he had garlands, table pieces, and a whole Christmas tree with star. Even cuter, he made two Christmas socks with “KARL” and “VLAD” on them. I can’t believe this kid – he’s letting Vlad slowly assimilate into his life and he doesn’t even realize it.

Anyway, Vlad comes home and is obviously not a fan of the decorations. He made this whole argument about Christmas being a pagan-turned-capitalist tradition, while Karl can only tell him to not be too harsh to baby Jesus (lol). Vlad disputed this even more, making a comment about how Jesus is way too forgiving to be a Capricorn. Despite himself though, Vlad was smiling while looking at the socks and told Karl before he left, “Hey, Arki, if it means that much to you, you can keep the socks there.”

Note: He calls him “Arki” as in short for architecture because Karl is an Architecture student.

We learn a bit more about Vlad in this episode during his videocall with Sue, who we discover is his best friend. She was teasing him about his current “live-in partner” and Vlad launched into this pretty affectionate way of describing Karl and his many quirks. Karl is a very neat person, but hates washing the dishes. Vlad also finds it cute (but he didn’t say this, I’m doing the honors for him) whenever Karl would get excited every time they watch a film together. All of these, Vlad is saying with a big smile on his face, and ending it with a hopeless sigh-like, hay nako. Sue caught it.

Sue tells Vlad about the law of proximity. She made an example of it through Big Brother wherein some people end up being in a relationship because they spend too much time together. Vlad deflects and says he’s not about to fall for a straight guy, “I refuse to be a plot device that triggers somebody else’s identity crisis. Not again.” Nonetheless, it’s good that Sue opened this up because feelings can get really tricky when you spend so much time with a person even if it’s just a short amount of time. Actually, it feels like you’re in a time warp.

Naturally, Vlad sees a lot of things about Karl that he may find either endearing or annoying. It’s obvious though that he finds Karl endearing and he, too, is starting to catch feelings. His reservations are preventing him to make a move, not just because he thinks that Karl is straight but mostly because of a past experience or trauma. He can’t be brave about just putting himself out there so he’s trying to proceed with caution.

Sue still encouraged him to try to invite Karl to spend Christmas with him instead of wallowing alone watching white boy Sundance films (I’M DEAD. I love Sue so much). Vlad actually looked like he’s considering the idea even if he was being a baby about it the entire time.

Theme Song Test

Meanwhile, Karl is also pre-occupied when Anna knocked on his door to use the WiFi. She’s on the phone with a client, visibly mad that they are forcing her to rush the output. This went on and on with Karl just watching her pace around the house. After the call, Anna immediately jumped on the idea of them watching a movie together.

Moments later, Karl and Anna are seated on the couch crying over what is obviously She’s Dating the Gangster. Anna tells Karl that she’ll use the restroom first and it is in this moment when Vlad finally arrives. He must have gotten used to seeing Karl crying at films that he is not really surprised to see him in tears now. It’s cute how he got all fidget-y while trying to ask Karl that maybe they can have a proper Noche Buena, “Tayo. Noche Buena. Together.”

Karl tells Vlad that he needs to go home for Christmas, and that he’ll carpool with Anna. “Who’s Anna?” says Vlad and that is when she popped out to introduce herself. Her presence in the house pretty much stirred conflicted feeling on the side of in Vlad especially when she decided to stay over for another film.

Another movie ends and Karl and Anna are still seated on the couch. Vlad looks hilariously miserable watching them together. Is it even safe to say that Karl and Anna are being flirty? I don’t know, they are mostly loud and touchy the entire time but maybe Karl is really just comfortable around her. Nonetheless, it was so funny seeing them in their elements talking about random things while Vlad is constantly rolling his eyes at anything that Anna says to Karl.

Anna then talks about the theme song test. Apparently, when you listen to a song and a face of a person comes on to your mind, it means you want to be with that person. Karl says he’s never experienced it because he does not like anyone at the moment anyway. Vlad looks so done with them already, but he especially acted out when Anna was about to make Karl listen to a song to do the test. Vlad started getting whiny over the unwashed mugs and Karl is still clueless about his true intention. Even as Karl tries to stop Anna from leaving, she got the hint and said goodbye.

Karl tells Vlad to stop nagging about the unwashed mugs and he had a biting comeback that Karl is not the only one who can get mad about dishes and mugs piling up. Karl thinks that Vlad is acting jealous because he’s putting up an act for Anna, then tells him that Anna knows about them anyway. This agitated Vlad more, and when Karl was telling him to drop the jealous boyfriend act, he actually said “Who says I’m acting?”

Both of them were taken aback and there was this one long painful second before Vlad saved himself by adding, “Angry. Who says I’m acting angry?” Thankfully there are dishes and mugs to wash otherwise he would have made a complete mess of himself right then and there. As usual, they continued to banter with Karl touching Vlad’s hair again to annoy him.

One of the things I liked about this episode, by the way, is the presence of both Anna and Sue. We got to see a different side of Vlad and got to know him more through Sue. When we thought Anna will simply serve as a jealousy bait, she actually helped propelled the romance more by telling Karl (and Vlad by extension) about the theme song test.

“The ever-burgeoning need for people vs the effort put into self-preservation”

Vlad wakes up looking for Karl but of course he’s no longer there since he went home to his family. Vlad pretty much spent the entire day on the couch and was already getting drunk come the evening. He keeps sending Karl messages but is left on seen. He even sent him a couple of selfies. When Karl still hasn’t replied, he sent him a video of him jokingly attempting to ruin the Christmas decorations. Finally, Karl called, and Vlad got really excited about it.

It’s probably because he’s drunk but Vlad keeps on making these little moves on Karl – asking him if he thinks he’s cute, and that he wants Karl to pick him up. But the video call ended as soon as it started because Karl needed to join Noche Buena with his family.

A call from Ate Judit came in but he did not answer it. Then, when his phone rang again, he finally answered it. It was his mother. It’s interesting to me that Vlad would answer this call because of course, what we know so far is that they are not in good terms. But I suppose the holidays really make you soft and set aside any feelings of anger if you can at least have a moment of conversation with someone you still value with your heart. There’s a gut punch when Vlad actually said he’s having fun with friends to his mom, when he’s all alone in the apartment. And to make it slightly more painful, the call ended with an “I miss you.”

Vlad opened his message thread with A. Right then and there, a birthday greeting appeared complete with an “I miss you” (Please, lumayo ka nga Hudas! #OustHudas). He did not get a chance to reply because Sue called and it made him visibly happy. He opened the gift she sent him only to discover that it might have been switched with Karl’s gift to his parents because the content was a framed sketch of his family. As the night wears on, you feel Vlad wallowing more and more into his aloneness.

Nica del Rosario’s Tahanan plays as we see Vlad look around the house, feeling how empty it is. The lights are shining around him, but they don’t look bright at all, at least for Vlad. We see a montage of him dancing around the house, and when he finally checked the content of the VLAD Christmas sock that Karl put up for him, it has a gift inside. Turns out, it was slippers with a note, “Dahil taga-rito ka rin.” He saw another wrapped gift and it was another one by Karl this time with a note, “Bahala ka na kung sa’n mo ‘ko ilalagay” and it was a picture frame. Vlad looked so happy and was hugging the picture frame.

I think that Vlad is a sucker for gestures, of having someone who seems to know him and care for him. I liked seeing Vlad in this state of being alone and lonely. It was personally heartrending to watch, but it tells us so much about what he is as a person. He is fine being alone. I think it’s how he’s operated throughout the years of discovering himself. True, he has an overbearing-but-caring sister in Ate Judit and a wonderful best friend in Sue and they know so much about him, but it’s also the reason why it’s not easy for him to open up about these things. I think that when you go on for so long being “someone” for a specific person, your tendency is to continue putting up that act. This is not to say that Vlad is faking who he is, but that there’s this difficulty for him to fully express himself around them. So seeing him being open about this hollowness that he’s been feeling especially on his birthday was a welcome narrative.

It's that dilemma: your need for people to completely understand who you are, but also just as you are about to bare yourself, you automatically put up these defenses to kind of preserve that little piece of you to yourself. But in a way, you’re expecting someone to get a read on you – that maybe someone would see you even if you don’t offer that piece of you so voluntarily. I think that is Karl for Vlad. Karl takes him by surprise every single time by doing all these gestures for him, or when he overhears what he has to say about him. I suppose that at the end of the day, you just want to find someone who effortlessly gets you.

Theme song test: Tahanan

As Vlad stands in the middle of the living room hugging the picture frame that Karl gave him, he sees Karl come in through the door. Karl walks towards Vlad, and Vlad puts down the picture frame and also walks towards Karl for them to meet halfway. They have this giddy smile on their faces and for a while they were just staring at each other. Until both of their faces start to get closer and just as you think they’d go in for a kiss, they hugged. Both of them smiling, looking comforted and relieved. One thing of note as well is seeing them brush their hands up and down each other’s backs to hug tighter. Tahanan continues to play and the camera moves in circle around them (this scene is a nod to GOT 2 BELIEVE), until we settle back to Vlad standing alone in the living room, and what he was hugging was the picture frame and not Karl.

I am specifically in love with the part of the song that Pat Lasaten chose for the moment when Karl came in. I’m sorry I don’t know much about music, but I am referring specifically to timestamp 22:39 to 23:02. The main song kind of took a bit of a stepback and there was what sounded like a saxophone solo (?) that accentuates it. That was pretty genius because it really moves the scene. It highlights the magical feeling of Vlad finally finding Karl’s face in the midst of the song – someone who he wants to be together with. Extra painful though that after all that music swelling, you end up with a shot of him hugging a picture frame.

I agree with Justine when she said during the Friday night Banlaw sesh that she likes that they went in for a hug instead of a kiss right away. It feels more intimate and more sincere. It feels more sensual. Also, it fits the current pace of Karl and Vlad’s story because these are two people still discovering each other. It also hits different because hugging a person means offering comfort. In Karl and Vlad’s case, it highlights their thing of finding homes in each other. In Episode 03, Karl offered Vlad a home by giving him back the key. In that moment, Vlad accepted it because it was already attached back to his keychain. But in this episode, and through this hug, we see Vlad fully embracing that this is now his home. He isn’t just accepting the key to come and go as he pleases. He now wants to stay there.

The shot of Vlad hugging the frame always gets to me. Amazing camerawork and good music timing. I cannot watch it without crying because the feeling of loneliness really felt raw and palpable. This, and the hug, made everyone soft and fragile while watching the episode last night.

Being alone together

Vlad wakes up the next morning with a different set of clothes. All of the Christmas decorations are gone but we see balloons and an entire HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner hanging. He looks around a bit and when he turned towards the kitchen, Karl was there standing with a stack of pancakes. This time, it’s not a dream.

Both of them looked sheepish the entire time. Vlad was obviously touched and was even apologetic about bothering Karl the other night. Meanwhile, Karl joked and called him “Mr. Jockstrap” because of the switcheroo that happened with his gift and Sue’s. Vlad asks him what happened to the Christmas decors, and Karl just said “meh” and imitated Vlad’s “Jesus is too forgiving to be a Capricorn.”

The entire thing was just adorable. They were just smiling throughout, and Karl told Vlad to finally blow the candle on the pancake stack to make a wish. We don’t know what the wish was, and I’m not even sure we’ll ever know. Gege mentioned that he told Ian to make a personal wish for both him and Pao during the scene.

As usual, Karl and Vlad settled on the floor with chips and soda to watch a film. This time though, Vlad is not watching the film because he’s watching Karl. Vlad watches Karl dip his chips on the soda before eating it. As always, Karl gets so absorbed with the film, almost in tears now, as he mindlessly eats a huge piece of chip much to Vlad’s amusement. At one point, they both reached for the bowl and their hands grazed each other. Karl momentarily looked at Vlad’s direction, and so does Vlad towards Karl – but Vlad’s look lingered and a small smile forms across his face. It was his aha moment, I suppose.

I find it pretty amazing that both Karl and Vlad understood their feelings in a sort of unexpected way because it was so… mundane and normal. For a show that has a lot of these big moments, it sure takes a quiet approach when it comes to feelings and I love that. Because it is so quiet, you don’t really notice it creeping inside your heart. It kind of just fills you in until it’s completely embracing you and you understand it, right then and there, that well, I guess this is it.

Apparently, it’s not really about washing the dishes. It’s really about the good they do for each other every day. Nothing felt more apparent to Vlad than Karl’s absence. The law of proximity builds familiarity and in those short few days, Vlad did not just get used to Karl being around, he yearns for it. I could say the same for Karl, too, seeing as he rushed home to prepare all these things for Vlad. But for now, both of them do not know it yet.

To reference the Wattpad screenplay, all this time Karl thinks that he was the only one waiting for Vlad to look back. But, who knows, maybe Vlad was waiting for Karl to look back, too?

Epilogue

In the last three episodes, it was always Vlad moving closer towards the couch. Karl was always seated at a specific side, not moving at all, but he would always throw glances towards Vlad. This time though, we find Karl seated on the floor beside Vlad.

The episode ends with a powerful quote yet again, “kapag may tinuro sa’yo ang pag-iisa, yakapin mo.”

Comments; Ramblings

It’s funny how Episode 03 launched a friendly bardagulan on Twitter between Vlad Austria Apologists (VAA) and the Vlad Austria Fault-Finding Committee (VAFFC). But the truth is, both Karl and Vlad are the actual clowns for each other and we’re just here to witness them fall in love and watch their connection go deeper.

Personally, in terms of a solid episode, my favourite is still Episode 03 because it had all these elements that moved the story along and built up to that amazing Selos ending. It was something else. However, Episode 04 was the one that made me feel the most (so far). I had a hard time processing it after watching it the first time and unlike the last three episodes, I could not rewatch it right away. I mostly just felt weak and I might have cried a little. Maybe because it reminded me so much of what it is like to fall in love – that indeed love is still a beautiful thing. Sometimes we use being alone as a defense mechanism to feel less alone, but at the end of the day we also crave for someone we can go home to. Karl and Vlad’s feelings continue to unravel and that makes me think about how, as we fall in love, we also discover a lot about ourselves.

To me, this is what’s happening with Karl and Vlad. As they learn more about each other, they also discover a lot of things that they don’t know they’re capable of. They find themselves doing things they never thought they will ever do or feeling things they thought they’ll never feel again. I’m curious how they’ll really meet halfway. For now, I think Vlad is more of the type of person who needs to confirm with himself first if he truly feels romantically for someone before he takes action or shows these soft and caring side of him. Meanwhile, Karl seems like the type to act first before thinking about why he does these things. Maybe it’s just the way he is – a pure-hearted good person. I just hope he’s ready to answer the question when it gets asked.

For now, I appreciate this slowburn.

–

Gaya Sa Pelikula airs new episodes every Friday 8PM (Manila time) on Globe Studios’ Youtube channel. Please only stream it legally!

GAYA SA PELIKULA Ep 01 Review [x]

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astrochats · 5 years

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Astro Scales: the breakdown by sign

In our first post, we introduced the Astro Scales system and discussed each element’s heart and head values. In this post, we will further break down each element into its three signs, and explain what distinguishes the signs from one another.

The Astro Scales system derives its name from a pair of scales, where we envision head and heart values being weighed against each other. Some signs weigh the head value above the heart value, some weigh the heart value above the head value, and some place an equal weight on both values, balancing the scales.

For example, while all fire signs struggle with the primary conflict of now vs. later, we argue that the charging ram Aries weighs now, the fire heart value, above the head value of later. By contrast, the archer Sagittarius believes in the value of biding their time, despite the draw of fulfilling their desires immediately; thus Sagittarius weighs head over heart. Meanwhile, proud Leo, king of the jungle, constantly balances immediate reward against delayed gratification.

We observe these 3 configurations of the scales (heart over head, balancing both, head over heart) in all 4 elements, giving each of the 12 zodiac signs its own distinctive character.

***

Fire signs (now vs. later)

Aries: now

The first sign in the zodiac, Aries the ram bursts into existence with an uncontainable life force, as if to announce to the world, “I am here.” It’s therefore no surprise that Aries leads with the heart value of now over the head value of later. Although Aries understands on some level that waiting can lead to greater rewards, the cost of forgoing the immediate rush of instant gratification is often too high for this impatient sign. More so than any other fire sign, Aries embodies the action principle of fire: a flame’s existence depends on a continued fuel source, or it will be extinguished. Thus it is important for Aries to feel a sense of forward momentum with all of their actions, and stasis is very uncomfortable for them. Aries may feel anxiety about not getting what they have set their minds to and if they cannot follow through with their plans, they can feel lost and unlike themselves. It’s instinctual for Aries to prioritize the desires of their heart above the head. This means that while Aries is very good at making decisive moves to instigate the outcome they desire, others can feel steamrolled or ignored in Aries’ hasty actions.

Leo: balancing both

Ruled by the Sun, Leo is a sign that flourishes when it’s in the spotlight. Leos are generous with their warmth and their love; being around them can feel like basking in warm sunshine. Leos shine brightest when surrounded by other people, and their need for continuous attention from others explains why Leos balance the heart value of now against the head value of later. For Leo, balancing these values means pursuing all of their immediate desires, while making concessions so as not to lose their audience. The lion is the king of the jungle, and like all kings, Leo walks a fine line between luxuriating in all the perks of being at the top, yet always being aware of the precariousness of their position. There is always someone next in line, waiting to usurp a king who shows weakness or loses the support of his followers, and proud Leo feels keenly the cold shadow that descends upon them when the spotlight is turned on someone else. For this reason, it is rare to see two Leos in one group of friends. Though people are quick to characterize Leos as overconfident and self-absorbed, these traits can be attributed to this sign’s tendency towards idealism and a general wholehearted optimism for life.

Sagittarius: later

Although Sagittarians may be known for their impulsivity, a second look at this sign reveals a surprising willingness to bide their time. Note that of all the fire signs, Sagittarius is the only one represented not by an animal, but by the archetype of the archer -- the hunter, who must lie in wait for the perfect moment to strike, reflecting how Sagittarius weighs their head value of later over their heart value of now. Another aspect of the Sagittarian mythology involves the figure of the centaur, a half-human, half-horse. While Sagittarius may feel the primal urge of now from beneath its hooves, its higher faculties are able to temper these urges. Ruled by Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, Sagittarius is willing to take a gamble on waiting until later in the hope of reaping greater rewards. Sagittarius feels most like themselves when they have the freedom to explore various options and are able to escape when life gets too restrictive. These tendencies result in the endless optimism and adaptability Sagittarians bring to all of life’s ups and downs, but can also result in an impression of flightiness and unreliability.

***

Water signs (feeling vs. fantasy)

Scorpio: feeling

Of the three water signs, Scorpio alone is represented by a non-water-dwelling animal. Compared to the dark, nurturing ocean depths where Cancer and Pisces live, the harsh, flat desert where the scorpion dwells contains few hiding places; here, everyone is stripped bare. Similarly, this sign favors the heart value of raw feeling over the head value of fantasy, which they see as a watery world of self delusions and concealments. Even as they are drawn to the boundless promise of the mystical and fantastic, Scorpio accepts that they live in the physical world and must adapt to its harshness rather than seeking escape in dreams. Scorpios feel things intensely, and they have a hard time hiding or masking their emotions, seeming even to revel in the darker side of their nature. Since they see the world and other people with clear eyes, without the veneer of idealism, they find trust and vulnerability difficult. Scorpio’s combination of intensity and penetrative perception gives them a magnetic quality, which can be attractive to many. But when tangling with this guarded sign, know that physical passions do not necessarily translate into emotional intimacy.

Cancer: balancing both

Cancer the crab walks between the watery world of fantasy and the earthly sands of real sensation. Though they are often stereotyped as sensitive and moody, this reputation stems from the tug-of-war between Cancer’s heart value of feeling and head value of fantasy. Far from being mutually exclusive, this sign’s heart and head values often feed into and build upon each other. For a Cancer, real-life feelings are heightened by their fantastical imaginings, while their fantasies are imbued with real attachment. For example, in everyday conflicts, it comes naturally for Cancer to cast others in the roles of hero and villain. Conversely, this sign’s romantic daydreams can replicate or even surpass the giddy euphoria of actually falling in love. Because Cancers attach equal weight to their fantasies and their lived emotions, it can be extremely painful and disappointing for this sign when experiences don’t live up to the expectations set by fantasies; this is when Cancer may retreat without warning behind a spiky exterior. However, a person who is able to coax this sign out of their shell will find a uniquely soft and nurturing nature: a Cancer’s affection is given wholeheartedly and without reserve.

Pisces: fantasy

Pisces the fish lives entirely submerged in the ocean depths of fantasy, so much so that Pisceans often seem to inhabit their own plane of existence. With this sign of dreams, the subconscious, and the spiritual, the head value of fantasy comes so naturally that they may have difficulty separating fantasy from their emotional reality. For Pisces, fantasy involves a predisposition towards creating deeper meaning from the apparent randomness and chaos of life. This may morph into existential dread if Pisces begins to consider the possibility that reality is actually random and devoid of meaning. Everyday, practical matters tend to fade into the background in the face of these looming existential questions, which may contribute to this sign’s “head in the clouds” reputation. While Pisces, like other water signs, is highly emotionally attuned, their fixation on fantasy can make it difficult for this sign to express or indeed, truly experience their immediate feelings. This results in Pisces’ susceptibility to absorbing the feeling currents of others around them, as well as their reputation for empathy and sensitivity. A Pisces who is too detached from the truth of their own feelings can become oversensitive and withdrawn.

***

Earth signs (conviction vs. compromise)

Taurus: conviction

Famously stubborn, Taurus’s stability comes from their firm heart value of conviction, which they weigh over the head value of compromise. Because Taurus’s sense of identity is so grounded in their personal convictions, being confronted with the necessity of compromise can feel like an affront to Taurus’s self-image. This is why Taurus, more than any other sign, is known to fear change despite recognizing the importance of growth -- after all, compromise by definition requires us to leave our comfort zone in some way. Like the immovable bull, Taurus prefers to stick to what they know and trust, not only in their beliefs but also in their habits and environments. While they are aware, as all earth signs are, that there are times when we must prioritize practicality and/or the common good, it costs more comparatively for a Taurus to repress their innermost beliefs. Although this sign may come across as stubborn and obstinate at times, others know that they can trust Taurus to be honest and reliable.

Virgo: balancing both

The maiden associated with Virgo embodies purity of course, but also carries a sheaf of wheat, representing the harvest. These two symbols encapsulate Virgo’s balancing act between their heart value of conviction and their head value of compromise: while it is important for Virgo to uphold the purity and clarity of their personal convictions, this service-oriented sign may not always find it necessary or appropriate to impress these convictions upon others. The harvest is emblematic of humans’ interdependence with each other and with nature; Virgo’s approach to compromise follows a similar principle of being conscious of how your actions affect others. They are careful not to be offensive or take up too much space, and tend to disdain those who act rudely or thoughtlessly. Balancing conviction and compromise can be a struggle for Virgos, who feel they must remain true to themselves even as they wish to avoid making a fuss. This may account for some of this overanalytical sign’s tendency towards anxiety and neurosis. Virgos treat each word and action they put into the universe with extreme care, but even so, they may stay up late at night regretting their decisions.

Capricorn: compromise

Even as the mountain goat Capricorn steadily ascends the mountain, it never loses sight of its grounded perspective. Capricorns weigh their head value above their heart value; although they have as strong a sense of their convictions as other earth signs, it is unlikely that a Capricorn will allow these private convictions to interfere with their ability to compromise. Compared to other earth signs, Capricorns tend to come across as more patient when dealing with people because they try to accommodate everyone’s differences in order to move forward. Another way to understand this value could be “compartmentalization,” something that comes naturally to this sign. Some may call Capricorns cold because of their ability to put distance between their actions and their personal feelings/allegiances; they would simply call themselves realistic. Compromise serves most Capricorns well -- in the long term, they will be able to build respect, recognition and a reputation of dependability in the eyes of others.

***

Air signs (knowledge vs. faith)

Aquarius: knowledge

Ruled by Uranus, the planet of revolution and rebellion, Aquarius the water bearer is characterized by independence, originality and humanitarianism. Aquarians are not known to be followers; their determination to walk their own path emerges from their heart value of knowledge, which they prioritize over the head value of faith. If you want to recruit Aquarius to your cause or way of thinking, you’d better be prepared to explain every step of your logic. For Aquarius, blindly following a belief that is not their own feels like a betrayal of the principle to seek truth. Even if an Aquarius hasn’t yet developed their own perspective on a subject, they are eager to pick holes in someone else’s viewpoint in order to better understand the other person’s logic. Since Aquarians tend to forget that most people’s beliefs include emotion as well as logic, this sign runs the risk of coming across as cold or unemotional. Yet it is equally common for Aquarians to attract those who admire their unique perspective.

Libra: balancing both

Portrayed as a pair of scales, it comes as no surprise that Libra is the air sign that balances the heart and head values of knowledge and faith. The heart value of knowledge gives Libra a clear view of their own beliefs, though they are unlikely to offer these opinions unless pressed or in the company of someone they fully trust. This is because Libra wishes to avoid conflict and maintain a sense of equilibrium in most situations, and it comes naturally to this sign to reflect other people’s opinions back at them, telling others what they most want to hear. Libras are seen by some as indecisive or “fake” because their behavior can change depending on their company. However, this is not to say that Libras are simply humoring the other party; they believe that each person has their own truth that they live by and they are willing to reconcile disparate opinions with their own, especially when faced with an emotionally charged appeal. In this way, this harmony-seeking sign can manage knowledge and faith simultaneously without sacrificing either; the result is Libra’s distinctive charm and agreeable nature.

Gemini: faith

Gemini’s ruler Mercury is the fastest-moving planet in our solar system. Accordingly, Gemini, the mercurial twins of the zodiac, always thinks a million thoughts at once. Their talkative, loud exterior tends to mask their propensity to overanalyze and doubt their own logical flow. Gemini weighs their head value of faith over the heart value of knowledge: it is often easier for a Gemini to take someone else’s words as truth rather than stick to their own knowledge, unless the other person’s opinions strongly contradict systems that they already know to be correct. Although Gemini is much maligned for the stereotype of being “two-faced,” this sign isn’t being consciously duplicitous; they are simply so faith-oriented that it is difficult for them to maintain their former beliefs in the face of someone else’s forceful opinions. A Gemini’s fluid, fast-paced thought process can accommodate many different and conflicting truths in rapid succession -- to arrive at a single, final truth is the real challenge for this sign. For Gemini, knowledge seems less like a stable destination and more like a never-ending journey of considering each possibility and perspective.

***

Thanks for reading! xxx fon & bells

p.s. Our ask box is now open!

#zodiac #astrology #astro #horoscope #basics #elements #fire #water #earth #air #astrochats #astroscales

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chibivesicle · 4 years

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Golden Kamuy: chapters 255 & 256 - chaos at the brewery, superior private vs superior private, the death of the first Tsurumisexual

I was hesitant to write a stand alone 255 summary and I am glad that I waited until 256 was out. I also had a busier than expected work week which kept me busy. The fire that Jack set at the brewery was large enough that the local fire department is alerted to fight it.

The next few pages show how late Meiji era firefighters worked with a horsedrawn steam pumper.

The chief calls for a bugle player to call in the rest of the firefighters and they start spraying while the main pump starts.

This the allows us to see where some of the cast are. As usual Shiraishi is near the fire fighters, he always has a tendency to know where the person in charge is, Ushiyama, Hijikata and then we see Boutarou is somewhere outside.

My most hated convict is there watching that everyone has assembled to find Jack. He then has a fixation with the ladder.

I have no patience for Ueji, I really hope he’s not around much longer.

The action shifts to Asirpa still beating our convict until her sutu physically breaks. I have to admit this concerns me since it shows that Asirpa may not have just been acting in self-defense/’basic’ punishment. It indicates that she’s bolder or losing control of her own actions towards him.

Jack reaches out to grab her fur cloak and he holds here there as he reveals his ‘tragic’ backstory. He was supposed to be the child of a prostitute and a member of the British Royal family. Wow - riveting . . . . honestly, I found his backstory to be lame and I was like ‘on with it already.’ Still doesn’t really explain why a man would become a murderer . . . .

Asirpa then becomes more desperate and she threatens to stab him with one of her arrows if he doesn’t release her, while he insists he’s the product of a virgin birth. Since he was taken in nuns and raised in some sort of catholic setting . . .

What is important is that once she looks into his face after threatening she finally shows signs of PTSD from shooting Ogata.

Here face is sweaty and flushed and her pupils are tiny and she remembers Ogata collapsing on the ice floe. I have been waiting so long for this to happen. Asirpa is good at burying and denying her feelings and finally in a pinch her fears come to the surface.

Honestly, I am so relieved to have this happen in the story.

Sugimoto then arrives and tells Asirpa that killing Jack is his job. He looks dangerous as his scarf flies back and he’s got the bayonet on his rifle.

Asirpa meanwhile is in the foreground arrow in her hand. There are then several pages of Sugimoto stabbing and disemboweling and stabbing our convict before he kicks him out a window.

With luck, he falls out near Ushiyama who finishes him off with a skull smashing step. I’ve never been a huge fan of Ushiyama, but I do like his line about how prostitutes are divine beings to him, remaining on earth to help others.

This seemed a lot more fitting than Sugimoto telling him what you do with your life is important. I’m also curious how damaged his tattoo is after being slashed open across the belly.

Now it is unclear if Sugimoto and Asirpa will be reuniting with Hijikata or not, since the skin has been delivered to Ushiyama. I’m curious to see if they rejoin his group of if they break off again.

The action finally returns to the events that I am most interested in; the fight between Ogata and Usami. The english translation has Usami calling Ogata by his first name as he beats the crap out of him while he tries to hold him off with the rifle. Usami is upset since previously Ogata called him a ‘cheap piece’ on a chessboard and he did not like it.

We get a close up of Ogata’s bloody nose as the rifle moves. The next page makes it clear that Usami has grabbed the rifle and he proceeds to empty the remaining bullets and even kicks them away on the floor.

Usami is making sure that Ogata has no chance to fire at him and knows that if Ogata tried to fight back with the rifle alone, he’d have no chance. Of course, Ogata goes to grab another clip, but Usami judo rolls him onto the floor and Ogata turns over and begins to crawl back to the rifle.

It seems like Ogata has some sort of thought in the first panel as Usami stands over him and tells him that he’s essentially useless without a gun. I’m under the indication that when it comes to fighting and combat that Usami finds him useless since both of them have done things non-combat related.

Usami then boldly pulls the bayonet off of Ogata’s belt. Usami then falls into the trope of overconfident monologue individual.

Ogata doesn’t give a damn about Usami’s monologue to him, he’s got to beat him and we get a close up of Ogata picking up an individual bullet between his bloody lips. He’s got something in mind.

Usami then insults Ogata as being a son of a prostitute he can’t call Usami a cheap piece. We know that Usami was raised in a normal but poor samurai family with both parents and siblings. He feels that since he comes from a more reputable (though poor) background he has more legitimacy than Ogata which we know is the common perception of Ogata in the 27th. We will need to know who told everyone he was Hanazawa’s illegitimate son to know how long the bullying went on for.

Usami then has self-reflective moment about how badly he’d wanted to say this to Ogata for at least a year by this point. This has given Usami a pause to his advance and Ogata uses his tongue to push the single bullet into the open rifle. He still looks back at Usami and knows he can do this since he’s not paying close attention to Ogata crawling across the floor.

As Usami prepares the bayonet, Ogata flips the now loaded rifle towards him and Usami seems surprised.

The final page of the chapter shows what a point blank rifle shot does to Usami. He’s been shot at close range and there is a massive blood splatter behind him, bayonet still in hand. The chapter ends with Ogata calmly looking over his shoulder and smoke floats away from the barrel.

What a way to end the chapter! I had been waiting for something like this for sooo long. Usami fell in to the trap of ‘oh look at me, I’m going to let my emotions allow me to monologue’ . . . Ogata used the fact that he’s bad at close combat to crawl across the floor to the rifle. Usami thought it was good enough to empty the rifle but he completely underestimated the tenacity of Ogata and his plan to reload his rifle in the most horny way possible.

If Usami and Ogata are indeed pieces on a chessboard for Tsurumi, this has shown that Ogata is a much more valuable piece. Or perhaps are all of them of equal value and Ogata just said that to rile up Usami?

Something that really stood out for me was how Usami’s approach to stab Ogata with a bayonet was very similar to chapter 5 when Sugimoto was over him about to stab him and Asirpa stops him. Ogata then has the pause to poke Sugimoto in the face facilitating his escape. In that instance, it was the combination of Asirpa and then Ogata that allowed for him to escape.

With Usami, the only person in charge of Ogata’s escape is Ogata. It this telling us that Ogata has leveled up? He’s now taking ownership for saving himself? No one else came to his aid, he did it all on his own a change for him since when they were in Edogai’s house, Sugimoto had to save him from the random guy from the 27th. . . . Just something to ponder.

Either way lets get to 256 where the action continues!

The chapter stards with Usami falling back as Ogata on autopilot ejects the spent shell to ready the rifle to be loaded and fired.

Usami tumbles down the stairs and Ogata pulls out another clip to load the rifle. As wounded as Usami is, he moves quickly enough to get out of visual range of Ogata. He holds on the the railing of the stairs as he bleeds out his back and realizes his spat with Ogata isn’t important.

He needs to tell something to Tsurumi. Is it what he saw on Kadokura?

Meanwhile Ueji is messing around with the firefighters. He’s pulled on some of the hoses and begins to climb up the ladder as people wonder what he’s trying to do and Usami exits at ground level.

Usami finds the horses for the fire engine around the same time that Sugimoto kicks Jack out the window. This inadvertently catches Ogata’s attention. Ogata then looks out the window to spot Usami on one of the horses below.

Usami is pretty rough, holding onto his chest where Ogata shot him. Ogata takes his time to set up his shot, breaking the glass and resting his rifle on a crossbar in the frame. Ogata then tells Usami that if he’s that worried about being a cheap piece . . . he needs to know what Tsurumi’s face looks like at his funeral.

Ogata has made it clear that Usami is not making it to Tsurumi alive. His goal is to stop him.

I think that Ogata is drawing on his own personal experience and observations of Tsurumi. He knows that his mother was a ‘cheap piece’ to his father since he never came to her funeral. He also got to see Hanazawa’s dying facial expression which let him know what little he thought of him as the son he ignored. Ogata also knows Tsurumi well enough that he’ll reveal how he feels about Usami in death, so really if Tsurumi cares about him, he’ll get what he wanted. Ogata likely has mixed feelings on this; his own experience is that no one cares about others in death, and he likely wants Tsurumi to be cold and calculating not giving Usami what he wants.

To snipe Usami, Ogata levels up, Usami is able to round the corner of the building, but thanks to Sugimoto kicking Jack out a window it is now open.

Sugimoto then is walking away from the open window and another window faces towards Usami. Noda ramps up the tension of Ogata aiming at the open window where Sugimoto is. . . . but just as Sugimoto moves out of the line of fire Ogata takes aim and fires.

We get a unique bullet view of his shot! Oh no? Has Ogata decided to snipe Sugimoto instead? Pfffttt! Of course not. Ogata is the type of sniper who gets his mark. His shot enters Usami’s back and exits his chest likely near his heart.

This tells us several things. Ogata really doesn’t give a damn about Sugimoto. He could have shot him, but really why? There is no point, his target was Usami. He’s off to rely information to Tsurumi.

I also wonder if Sugimoto even heard the shot after he walked away from the windows? There was no indication as such in 255. All of these events highlight that Ogata’s goals have nothing directly to do with Sugimoto and his flawed reasoning that Ogata is out to get him really needs a reality check.

Back to the action, Usami falls off the horse and is dramatically caught in Tsurumi’s arms. Usami looks at Tsurumi while Ogata thanks him.

He then removes his bandage to reveal a glass eye and he declares that he is now completed as a sniper. This refers back to when he was retraining how to to use a rifle with Hijikata. He stated he would only be a sniper, if he actually killed a person not more ducks.

For comedic effects, his glass eye pops out and he catches it. It looks like Ogata now has historical overlap with the French Canadian sniper Leo Major.

The chapter returns to Usami dying before Tsurumi. He hands over he copy of a skin that he got from Kadokura. He then begins to speak about Kadokura, while Tsurumi looks down at him softly telling him he’s done well.

Usami reaches to touch Tsurumi’s face. There is then a very uncomfortable scene where Tsurumi sucks on his pinky finger before he bites it off. He tells Usami that this will allow them to live on together. He tells him that he’ll be living inside him as his number one friend.

So, unlike saving Olga and Fina’s finger bones he took from Russia, he’ll just digest and absorb Usami instead. . . .

Usami than smiles as he dies, telling Usami that he’s so happy that he’s going to come from the feeling as he starts to call him by his first name before he dies in Tsurumi’s arms. The next panel shows Tsurumi holding him in his arms.

As a nerd with a minor in art history, I immediately noticed that this was a reference to Michelangelo’s famous sculpture of Jesus laying in the arms of the Virgin Mary, the pieta.

First, based on how Usami’s death impacts Tsurumi, he can rest assured that he wasn’t a cheap piece. Second, Tsurumi has stood in for the Virgin Mary again in the context of scenes. I’m honestly curious where Noda is going with this Tsurumi = Virgin Mary bit.

The chapter then ends with Ueji standing on the smokestack of the brewery looking for everyone’s attention. I guess he wants everyone to try to attack him at once? Or is he going to jump to his death and result in the destruction of his tattoo making things impossible?

Overall impressions for the events of these two chapters.

1.) Jack was a lame convict. He did not interest me and his only importance was to get Asirpa to recognize her PTSD when she really tried to threaten him.

2.) Noda tried to tease the readers with Sugimoto-Ogata conflict but it shows that Ogata doesn’t look at Sugimoto the same way he looks at Ogata. Sugimoto thinks Ogata is messing around, an agent of chaos, but this is anything but that fact. It also shows again that Sugimoto thinks he’s more critical in the gold hunt than he is. Asirpa is key, he’s just going along for the ride and Hijikata has tried to eliminate him, as has Ogata, Tanigaki and Tsurumi.

3.) Asirpa is showing finally that she was impacted by when she shot Ogata. About time, then again, Asirpa and Ogata are very similar characters with strong internal compasses and repress their feelings.

4.) Ogata has returned to wild-type. The past few chapters he has been on fire. He out smarted Vasily, and was able to defeat Usami. Many of us wondered if his sniping days were over - he has proven otherwise, but him sniping Usami was both defensive and a highly tactical decision. It seems that Ogata has gained a new will to live, he fought his way out of very difficult situations and did everything alone (and with the help of his Yuusaku subconsciousness). It appears that Tsurumi’s statement of not wanting to have him fighting against you holds up and his own name that he is a single man but equal to one hundred. Ogata also shows even if he may have emotions and feelings about how others treat/perceive him, he doesn’t like it cloud his judgement or actions.

5.) Usami got the death he wanted. I’m a little annoyed that Usami got the death he dreamed of, he gained praise from Tsurumi and was told how much he cared about him. Usami died happy in his arms. Perhaps, this indicates a sort of guilt/responsibility that Tsurumi felt towards young Tokishige back in Niigata? If he didn’t have Usami judo fight his friend, maybe he wouldn’t have snapped and become a perfect and loyal solider.

That’s all I have for now.

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy meta #ogata hyakunosuke #asirpa #sugimoto saichi #ushiyama tatsuma #tsurumi tokushirou #Usami Tokishige #hijikata toshizo #boutarou the pirate

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jlf23tumble · 4 years

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Top 10 Niche Interests

Fixations? Obsessions? This is incredibly hard because I have wayyyy too many niche interests, so instead of stressing about it, I tried to channel the 10 things that immediately speak to me and maybe aren't so obvious from what I post here, like how much I'm obsessed with wigs, doll furniture, incredibly specific blogs, all forms of clothing with pockets, swimming pools, whimsical bus stops, over-the-top bathrooms, etc. etc Instead, I opted for some specifics that feel a little more evergreen and long tailed, like, so LIFE-long tailed that it's tough to nail down when or how they became part of the national psyche. I thank @alienfuckeronmain for the initial tag, and I'm tagging her AGAIN for round two because I know she has a billion additional niche things, and she'll post them, and I'll scream because it'll trigger five other things I neglected to post here, and I'll probably post my own round two, arggggh, insert aggressive sighing. Anyway, I tag ANYONE who wants to do it, just tag me so I can see!

1. Indoor Trees

I have no idea why this concept PULLS so hard because houseplants are kind of meh to me, but you want to plant an entire-ass TREE indoors, in the place where you live? Me, too, and I'd add a conversation pit plus a combo gold/red bathroom, among other things, and, bam, we're in my imaginary dream home, which I have literally, constantly ALWAYS mentally constructed from the time I was about six or so. (If you're curious, it has multiple themed rooms, and the closest I've seen to it recently is the outstanding Dita von Teese AD feature, but Amy Sedaris’s apartment comes close, too). There are two (2) 1960s houses in Long Beach with magnificent indoor trees, but I can't find them online, so have this modern interpretation and cry with me about how I can't visit the multi-story fake tree inside Clifton's Cafeteria for a good long while:

2. Conventions of Fans of Any Kind

One thing that I don't think I'll ever lose is how much I *love* people who are fans of SOMETHING, people who have a passion and create something about it or cosplay it or simply gather to celebrate it and connect to other people through it. The Internet provides in all kinds of ways, but I'm talking specifically about IRL conventions and the way my heart pitter pats when I first walk in those doors, SWOON! And it doesn’t matter how big the convention is or how random, I've been to smaller events like CatCon and the My Little Pony convention all the way up to biggies like WonderCon and Comic Con, and I have yet to be disappointed. I might know jack shit about what I'm walking into, but I want to see the merch, hear about the panels, and check out the people who are fucking PUMPED to be there. Sadly, I think it's gonna be a lonnnnng time until these come back, but I can live vicariously through my old photos, sigh:

3. Dutch Wax Fabrics and African Fashion

I'm not the snazziest of dressers, but textiles, colors, and patterns have been an obsession that has soothed my visual soul for as long as I can literally remember. Wax fabric marries all three of those touchpoints, plus throws in a healthy dose of style, and I count myself lucky to have seen two big exhibits on the subject (this was one of them), oh, how I wish there were more! For sure, there's a fucked up underlying colonial/imperialist history here, but there's also humor and color and vibrancy, a reclamation of sorts, and multiple levels of fashion that take my breath away. I cannot do the different patterns justice at all, but the fan motif is one of my faves:

4. Hearst Castle vs. Madonna inn

These two fall into my #home tag because they're where I'm from, and they speak to me as equally sublime and ridiculous, camp and kitsch writ large and small, different (yet similar!) versions of Xanadu that two rich white men built as shrines to their own personal "taste." And the irony is that a lot of people shit on Alex Madonna for being tacky (the Madonna Inn is...uh, something else), yet praise WR Hearst for all the high-class art and architecture, most of which is fully lifted from desperate churches between and after world and yet they're both more or less the same concept (lodging for weary travelers, self-aggrandizement, questionable taste-mixing). Hearst Castle edges out slightly for me because it's bigger and has spectacular scenery and history, plus it gives me doses of LA noir thanks to the way Hearst killed a guy in a jealous Charlie Chaplin-related rage and Hedda Hopper covered it up, all kinds of old Hollywood shenanigans happened up there, etc. But I'm low-key an expert on both houses of the holy, I'm OBSESSED with both, and we can leave it at that. I mean, come on:

5. Snow Globes

I had to cull my personal collection slightly just to fit it all on the dedicated shelf in my bathroom, and I seriously need to refill all the water lines, but nothing beats a snow globe in terms of memorable souvenir, especially when you put it in a bathroom. The majesty!!! The jewel of my collection is the one from Sherwood Forest because WHY NOT celebrate a historic place and moment in the basic way?? He robbed from the rich to give to the poor, and the gift shop about 100 feet from the tree he hid in does the same! The circle of life! The irony of all the watermarks on this blessed image...protect:

6. Highly Specific Museums

Look, we can all agree that the more venerated museums in the world are a form of garbage in terms of what they represent, what they've done, and who runs them, but I'm here for the museums that collect and celebrate things that tend to get overlooked. There are too many to list that I love that are still thriving, so I'm going to say goodbye to four recently departed faves. RIP to the Pez museum, I'm so glad I saw you and purchased your stale candy souvenirs. RIP to the museum of terrible food, you were a pop up when Phoenix and I saw you, and I will forever think about the worker describing people literally vomiting during their visits. RIP to the currywurst museum in Berlin, I've had currywurst exactly once and it was not for me, but I respect the Journey you took me on, including obscure east German TV shows that helped make you so popular (??). Finally, RIP to the velvet painting museum, there's no way to mince words, the person who owned you was crazy AS FUCK and had zero clue how to run a business, but I'm so glad I saw you multiple times and purchased my own velvet treasure (not this exact one, but remarkably similar):

7. Liminal Spaces: Grocery Store Edition

Confession time for those who don't know me all that well, I'm a big time voyeur, and nothing fills my heart with joy like a walk at 7 or 8 pm, the witching hour when people haven't pulled the curtains, and I can scope out their decorations/furnishings without it being "weird." Another confession is how much I unabashedly adore grocery stores in other countries and will spend at least an hour wandering aisle by aisle, falling in love with how much everything is different yet completely the same:

8. Agatha Christie Novels:

As a child, I was a fairly compliant reader--I had to read something for school? Okay! For my mom? Sounds good! But the books that sparked the initial fire for me to read something purely for myself were second-hand (probably fourth- or fifth-hand, judging by cover art) Agatha Christie short story anthologies, which were the gateway drug to full Agatha Christie novels, then other mystery novels, and so on. But getting back to Agatha, I obviously loved all the stories, but every decade spawned incredibly good cover art (like, exceptionally good), and this particular artist's are right up near the top for me (I go back and forth on a lot of the '50s and '60s ones):

9. Scopitones

I link my obsession with scopitones both to my love of music videos in general and a shop in Austin, TX, that sold DVD compilations of them in particular, but either way, they're underappreciated and kitschy all in one! Francoise Hardy and the rest of the ye-ye's are my forever girls for this medium, but seemingly every country cranked them out, both actual set videos and "live" performances? If you don't know what they are, scopitones were machines that played music videos in French cafes in the '60s (??), so it was sort of your proto-MTV way to see your faves sing and dance. Oh, Francoise...so moderne!!

10. Cover Songs

I have so much patience and love for cover songs of any stripe, the more genre-bending and/or surprising, the better! My only minor beef is the trend in slooooooooowing down songs to make a point, but even those ones have a special place in my heart if they're effective. Live Lounge feeds my hunger the best, but my meta fave for representing this concept is Pulp's Bad Cover Version, which was already lyrically INSPIRED, a song about bad cover versions in terms of relationships, but then they did a video that was a visual "bad" cover version, with actors lip synching over an audio "bad" cover version, and all of it just worked? The cover for the single is someone in the band as a boy, making his own bad cover version of a Bowie album cover, it's meta meta meta, and I love love love, here's the video, if you're curious. In the more sublime cover category, I'm absolutely addicted to all of Orville Peck's covers, I truly hope he officially releases them sometime soon, but I wholeheartedly support any artist who does it:

#tag games #niche interests #god i have a few

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fructidor · 3 years

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Random amrev figures and their MBTI types!

Overview of the MBTI theory & Cognitive Stack

MBTI Theory

I vs. E = Introvert vs. Extravert. Introverts tend to be more shy and work independently, while Extraverts are more social and like working & interacting with others.

N vs. S = Intuitive vs. Sensor. Intuitives are people who always think ahead and are tired idealists. Sensors spend more time focusing on the now than the future, and take their information through their senses.

T vs. F = Thinker vs. Feeler. Thinkers tend to use their head rather than their heart to make important decisions in their lives, while Feelers use their emotions more to make decisions than their heads.

J vs. P = Judger vs. Perceiver. Judgers tend to follow a set structure when it comes to subjects, while Perceivers tend to go more with the flow, going where life takes them.

Cognitive Functions

Cognitive functions are the way you process the world around you and make decisions. Cognitive functions ultimately determine your type. They are scales of Intuition vs Sensing and Thinking vs Feeling. Then there is this thing called a cognitive stack. The way you order this is very important because it shows which cognitive function is the most dominant and least dominant.

Primary → Most natural (and comfortable) function; the internal “mother tongue”

Auxiliary → Supporting function, usually connected with creation and job choice

Tertiary → Function where individual often takes action steps to improve upon

Inferior → Activates under extreme stress, generally avoided out of self-protection

Extraverted Sensing (Se)

Introverted Sensing (Si)

Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

Brainstorming, thinking outside the box, idea generation. Ne easily hops from idea to idea, while making abstract connections. Many artists—especially poets—use significant Ne in their work. To the outside, Ne seems quick, random, and extremely “jumpy.”

Introverted Intuition (Ni)

Time-space awareness, predicting the future, hunches. Ni is a far-reaching, visionary function—and can picture the future, sometimes with scary-accurate results.

Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Introverted Feeling (Fi)

Values, notions of “right” and “wrong,” likes and dislikes. Fi is a deeply personal and intense function that digs to the core of the human condition. Convictions, morals, and strong beliefs all fall under the Fi umbrella.

Extraverted Thinking (Te)

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

We'll start off very simply, with George Washington.

Washington = ISTJ.

Cognitive Stack: SiTeFiNe

I = Introverted

S = Sensor

T = Thinker

J = Judger

Type Description: ISTJs are responsible organizers, driven to create and enforce order within systems and institutions. They are neat and orderly, inside and out, and tend to have a procedure for everything they do. Reliable and dutiful, ISTJs want to uphold tradition and follow regulations.

ISTJs are steady, productive contributors. Although they are Introverted, ISTJs are rarely isolated; typical ISTJs know just where they belong in life, and want to understand how they can participate in established organizations and systems. They concern themselves with maintaining the social order and making sure that standards are met.

Additional Notes: Washington is the stereotypical ISTJ. He fits all the criteria and it honestly just matches up the best.

John Adams = INTJ

Cognitive Stack: NiTeFiSe

I = Introverted

N = Intuitive

T = Thinker

J = Judger

Type Description: INTJs are analytical problem-solvers, eager to improve systems and processes with their innovative ideas. They have a talent for seeing possibilities for improvement, whether at work, at home, or in themselves.

Often intellectual, INTJs enjoy logical reasoning and complex problem-solving. They approach life by analyzing the theory behind what they see, and are typically focused inward, on their own thoughtful study of the world around them. INTJs are drawn to logical systems and are much less comfortable with the unpredictable nature of other people and their emotions. They are typically independent and selective about their relationships, preferring to associate with people who they find intellectually stimulating.

Additional Notes: I mean, John Adams could go several ways with me, but INTJ seems to work out the most fine. I don't have an objection to it.

Thomas Jefferson: INFJ

Cognitive Stack: NiFeTiSe

I = Introverted

N = Intuitive

F = Feeler

J = Judger

Type Description: INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.

The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others' emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it themself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

Additional Notes: This doesn't seem overly like Jefferson at first, but overall the cognitive function stack matches up the most. You could make the case that he is an INTJ, but honestly I feel that Te would not be his auxiliary function. Fe would be a much better type.

James Madison: INTP

Cognitive Stack: TiNeSiFe

I = Introverted

N = Intuitive

T = Thinker

P = Perceiver

Type Description: INTPs are philosophical innovators, fascinated by logical analysis, systems, and design. They are preoccupied with theory, and search for the universal law behind everything they see. They want to understand the unifying themes of life, in all their complexity.

INTPs are detached, analytical observers who can seem oblivious to the world around them because they are so deeply absorbed in thought. They spend much of their time in their own heads: exploring concepts, making connections, and seeking understanding of how things work. To the Architect, life is an ongoing inquiry into the mysteries of the universe.

Additional Notes: Another ✨ Stereotype ✨. I just feel that whenever I think of INTPs, I think of Madison. He just fits, again, all the criteria and makes the most sense.

Alexander Hamilton: ENTJ

Cognitive Stack: TeNiSeFi

E = Extravert

N = Intuitive

T = Thinker

J = Judger

Type Description: ENTJs are strategic leaders, motivated to organize change. They are quick to see inefficiency and conceptualize new solutions, and enjoy developing long-range plans to accomplish their vision. They excel at logical reasoning and are usually articulate and quick-witted.

ENTJs are analytical and objective, and like bringing order to the world around them. When there are flaws in a system, the ENTJ sees them, and enjoys the process of discovering and implementing a better way. ENTJs are assertive and enjoy taking charge; they see their role as that of leader and manager, organizing people and processes to achieve their goals.

Additional Notes: I'm actually a ENTJ, so I had a lot of this stuff in my head. I mean, I could kind of see Hamilton being an ENTJ, but I'm still pretty mad that he is, considering I hate him. But, it kind of makes sense, and it’s to the point that I can’t ignore it and just have to accept the fact.

Benjamin Franklin: ENTP

Cognitive Stack: NeTiFeSi

E = Extravert

N = Intuitive

T = Thinker

P = Perceiver

Type Description: ENTPs are energized by challenge and are often inspired by a problem that others perceive as impossible to solve. They are confident in their ability to think creatively, and may assume that others are too tied to tradition to see a new way. ENTPs rely on their ingenuity to deal with the world around them, and rarely find preparation necessary. They will often jump into a new situation and trust themselves to adapt as they go.

ENTPs are masters of re-inventing the wheel and often refuse to do a task the same way twice. They question norms and often ignore them altogether. Established procedures are uninspiring to the Visionary, who would much rather try a new method (or two) than go along with the standard.

Additional Notes: I just feel that in general, Franklin is the stereotype of the ENTP type too. They are honestly all inventors, and out of the box thinkers? Who do I think of when I hear this personality trope? Franklin.

James Monroe: ESTJ

Cognitive Functions: TeSiNeFi

E = Extravert

S = Sensor

T = Thinker

J = Judger

Type Description: ESTJs are hardworking traditionalists, eager to take charge in organizing projects and people. Orderly, rule-abiding, and conscientious, ESTJs like to get things done, and tend to go about projects in a systematic, methodical way.

ESTJs are the consummate organizers, and want to bring structure to their surroundings. They value predictability and prefer things to proceed in a logical order. When they see a lack of organization, the ESTJ often takes the initiative to establish processes and guidelines, so that everyone knows what's expected.

Additional Notes: Monroe is definitely not the founder that I focus the most on, but the criteria for the ESTJ type fits him really well from what I’ve read and heard. Don’t really have an objection to this, and I support it enough to place it in this document.

John Jay: INTP

Cognitive Stack: TiNeSiFe

I = Introverted

N = Intuitive

T = Thinker

P = Perceiver

Additional Notes: Wow, another INTP? Yes. Again, Jay isn’t the founder that I spend the most time with, but the INTP type fits him the most. Funny how a diplomat has Fe as an inferior function...it doesn’t matter much here though, as what matters is the fact that all the other functions match up the most. And, I guess Hamilton was thinking of INTPs when he wanted to write the Federalist Papers, huh?

Aaron Burr: INFJ?

Cognitive Stack: NiFeTiSe

I = Introverted

N = Intuitive

F = Feeler

J = Judger

The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others' emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

Additional Notes: I can’t ever decide with this man. Before I found out cognitive functions existed, I had my heart set on him being an INTJ. Now I know that cognitive functions do exist, however, I find that he fits more of an INFJ function set. I still can see him as an INTJ, no doubt about that, but I’ll settle for the other Ni dom for now.

John Laurens: ENFP

Cognitive Stack: NeFiTeSi

E = Extravert

N = Intuitive

F = Feeler

P = Perceiver

Type Description: ENFPs are people-centered creators with a focus on possibilities and a contagious enthusiasm for new ideas, people and activities. Energetic, warm, and passionate, ENFPs love to help other people explore their creative potential.

ENFPs are typically agile and expressive communicators, using their wit, humor, and mastery of language to create engaging stories. Imaginative and original, ENFPs often have a strong artistic side. They are drawn to art because of its ability to express inventive ideas and create a deeper understanding of human experience.

Additional Notes: In general, I feel that Laurens just matches up the ENFP stereotype really well and all the cognitive functions. I mean, NeFi is pretty accurate for him, and I think at this point it’s self explanatory. Not to mention the fact that ENTJ & ENFP are, arguably, the most compatible personality types of the whole entire MBTI system.

Marquis de Lafayette: ENFJ

Cognitive Stack: FeNiSeTi

E = Extravert

N = Intuitive

F = Feeler

J = Judger

Type Description: ENFJs are idealist organizers, driven to implement their vision of what is best for humanity. They often act as catalysts for human growth because of their ability to see potential in other people and their charisma in persuading others to their ideas. They are focused on values and vision, and are passionate about the possibilities for people.

ENFJs are typically energetic and driven, and often have a lot on their plates. They are tuned into the needs of others and acutely aware of human suffering; however, they also tend to be optimistic and forward-thinking, intuitively seeing opportunity for improvement. The ENFJ is ambitious, but their ambition is not self-serving: rather, they feel personally responsible for making the world a better place.

Additional Notes: I feel that Lafayette could also match up with the ENFP personality type easily, but I decided not to fully go for it. Why, I don’t know. I feel the ENFP stereotype I have fully reserved for Laurens, and that Lafayette has taken my ENFJ stereotype as a substitute. I also used to think of Lafayette being an ENFJ highly before I learned about cognitive functions; once I did learn about them I started debating his type. In the end, I’ve just decided on him being an ENFX (x being a variable for either j or p), albeit with a ENFJ lean.

Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton: INFP

Cognitive Functions: FiNeSiTe

I = Introvert

N = Intuitive

F = Feeler

P = Perceiver

Type Description: INFPs are imaginative idealists, guided by their own core values and beliefs. To an INFP, possibilities are paramount; the realism of the moment is only of passing concern. They see potential for a better future, and pursue truth and meaning with their own individual flair.

INFPs are sensitive, caring, and compassionate, and are deeply concerned with the personal growth of themselves and others. Individualistic and nonjudgmental, INFPs believe that each person must find their own path. They enjoy spending time exploring their own ideas and values, and are gently encouraging to others to do the same. INFPs are creative and often artistic; they enjoy finding new outlets for self-expression.

Additional Notes: INFPs are often seen as the “cinnamon roll” of the MBTI types (their dominant Fi and auxiliary Ne playing a big part in this) and who is more of a cinnamon roll than Eliza. I know this is honestly more of a Hamilton thing than an Amrev one, but I felt like I wanted to include her, as she was really the person I spent the most time focusing on, MBTI wise, before I encountered Amrev and everything that was left of my Hamilton infatuation dissipated.

#i wrote this a month ago but i’m posting it now #i think it’s also on ao3?#amrev #alexander hamilton #john laurens #george washington #john adams #thomas jefferson #james madison #john jay #james monroe #marquis de lafayette #elizabeth schuyler #benjamin franklin

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itsakpopalypse · 5 years

Text

Kim Sehyoon : Astrology ask- How he would be romantically

“hii 😊 can you do an astrology reaction like chan’s but with Sehyoon? thank you so much in advance!”- @naomik1999

Of course ! glad to do so !! Here you are ! I hope you like it !

A/N there will be 18+ included below the cut !!

Okay !! Starting with pure fluff and explanation of his overall chart

this baby

oh my god he is so precious

okay so we know he is a Taurus sun

but did you know he has a LEO rising?

lowkey means he has this strong confident presence that intimidates people yet draws them in

he is so lively and interesting to watch that you are like👀👀

and he seems like he would be outgoing on first glance

but his sun and moon balance out that strong firey energy SO beautifully

with a Taurus sun he is somewhat more calm and will have a very steady aura

like you get near him and feel more grounded just for it

beautiful fixed earth energy in action let me tell you

as you know fixed tends to mean unmovable and it is lucky for him he has a more mutable moon or that would eventually cause conflict

his instinct is still probably to dig his heels in but he will come around quickly

let’s talk what a Taurus sun means for his relationships

ever met one? they are . so . Cuddly by nature,

Maybe not first meeting someone but when they he becomes comfortably used to a person he will go at the hugs and physical affection with his whole chest

expect

forehead kisses (oh my god im sofft)

hand holding

picking you up for absolutely no reason except that he wants you c l o s e r

tend to be very physical, artistic and sexual by nature.

so expect lots of touch

please take care of his heart he is not going to want to express it in words but Taurus’s are soooooo easily hurt.

they are slow to anger so don’t expect any fights really

he will be logical and intelligent

but if you do fight he may take a while to cool down after

Pisces moon.

i have said it before I will say it again

SO MANY FEELINGS

okay so with Pisces especially in moon this means a few things

sensitive

they give people SO many chances to break their hearts

you will have to be so supportive

he will need to be held sometimes

you might be the lil spoon

its cute

but we know he thicc thicc

so you know it’ll probably translate to him laying his head on your thighs and staring up at you with stars in his eyes

because he is so s o f t for you

Pisces moon is so romantic

he will be constantly trying to make you smile because it will be his whole world

god the PAINTINGS he will do of and for you

Sehyoon is so deeply artistic and he expresses himself through his art

so especially with the Taurus sun being a hindrance on putting his feelings into words he will find a way to do it through his art

expect lyrics and paintings

he might do your nails when they are chipped

try to learn how to do your make up and hair

he is so affectionate i am getting so soft

i don’t normally mention it but his Mercury is notable

since his mercury is Taurus it means he will be practical, and very

very

dexterous

that will come back in the 18+ section i just needed to put it out there cause BIG OOF

his venus is Aries, venus controls how one reacts to love relationships of all kinds

Aries is a dominant sign so yes, Sehyoon is a soft man full of emotions who is a bit shy, but expect that once he knows what he wants he will go for it

he will probably be cautious though, as a true Taurus always is, so he will probably try to figure it out through your friends before he directly asks you out

drops hints for a short while before just being like

then blush like mad and giggle and hide his larger frame behind Byeongkwan who totally is there for emotional support don’t @ me

He will peak out and say something complimentary or just random and then when you begin to answer he will decide to rip the bandaid off

“I like you a lot can I take you out please?”

Cause he is a gentleman okay

will then find so much time for you

naps

he will cuddle

big spoon sometimes but I see him as more of a lay you down full bodied on top of him so he can feel your lips pressed to his neck and you can have soft whispery conversations like that

will kiss the top of your head between words

ask questions that seem strange’

but he just wants to know everything about you

because he wants to understand how to make you happy always and that’s the best way for him to do it

analyze analyze analyze

dates will be pretty quiet and chill

he will do whatever you want because he doesn’t need to be in charge of those things

he would be the sweetest most boyfriendy boyfriend the world has ever seen and you will honestly constantly be amazed (hes not even my a.c.e bias im just in my feels from his chart it’s so beautiful and cohesive)

His N Node is Sagittarius and this is notable because it will mean he is pretty adventurous with his love

that’s coming up again later too jot that down

okay and im gonna ramble cause he is so so s w e e t please

will not stop talking about you to the members

guys did you know that my S/O is ….

the most WONDERFUL person in the world???

they are like yes you told us that 10 mins ago and will likely tell us again in 10 more minutes

S P I C Y time

istg it was so hard to pick a gif there are so many sexy gifs of this man LAWD

WOOOP let’s get to it 👀👀👀

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW

everyone calls him a SERIOUS KINKY DOM

and I won’t say that ISN’T there…..

what I will say is it isn’t likely his GO TO

okay I will explain

his Aries rising and venus means he will have some FIREY dom-y moments

but his Pisces and Taurus placements will tone it down a bit

now if you are INTO that he is happy to please

but just expect that on occasion he wants you to make him weak

have you seen any dance ever that he is in the man goes from powerhouse to trembling in the grasp of another

black and blue fancams do yourself a favor if you haven’t

okay star stuff again

this man

is so affectionate. his hands are EVERYWHERE always

he will time things incredibly well

remember when i talked about the importance of his mercury being Taurus too??

yeahhhh

so this means he is amazing with his hands

expect thorough teasing from him

this is not a drill

he is going to make you cum at least 2 times before his cock comes near you

i don’t make the rules

have you seen his tongue??? hands vs tongue I am thinking he is going to do both but there might be times where he does one or the other

he loves loves loves

to hear moans

not so much a praise kink but damn it does stroke his ego

he wants you so incredibly blissed out that you don’t even think about what noises are coming out of your face

h i p control

the dancer hips on this man honestly I cannot continue because im going to burst into flame lawd

we’ve all seen the package so while he is not lacking in size by my estimation, he is also SO precise

O V E R S T I M

okay so just cause he isn’t a ‘dom’ always doesn’t mean he isn’t always kinky

he is kinky

i do think he is a BIT more into pain play than some of the other members would be but I don’t think he’d go for anything that is TOO rough

spanking with a leather paddle is a yes, anything too much harder is a no

he just wants you at peak pleasure the whole time and he LIVES to know he is the one doing it

What can I say Aries are low key ego driven and he will use your pleasure to make him feel like a god or demon in the sheets

and that’s fair cause he likely is one

remember that Sagg north node? yeah that’s back

adventurous

so expect some bondage both ways

he would love for you to put a blindfold on him and make him experience everything through touch

will let out the prettiest whines but also will be so in to it

loves to be teased but will never ask you to reciprocate oral unless you’re doing character play

if he HAPPENS to be domming well watch out cause he is damn good at it.

biting

yeah that’s a thing

honestly as a rapper i see him having a huge oral fixation

there will be times he will leave a box on the bed with lingerie and you will see a note telling you to put it on and come to the bedroom

and when you come out he is going to LAVISH you in attention

unwrap you like the best gift he has ever recieved

that thing his eyes do where they darken and he looks like he could get you on your knees with a single word

yea that too

but instead he just strips you and doesn’t miss a single inch as he explores you with his tongue and teeth

WHEW

not a lay down the rules type of dom

maybe one or two but mostly he just wants to control and move your body for your own pleasure

on the flip side when he wants you in control its like

he has had a hard busy week and he is stressed

so he will give you a hint he wants to be babied

will get your attention and make it clear but probably be too embarrassed to ask outright

but when you do lord he will be so pleased

ride his face or his cock he’s good with either he just wants you to touch him and body worship him the way he does you

that is when praising him will work in your favor

but not just by telling him how hot he is

he wants you to talk about how you love him

where you love him

what he does to your soul and bare it for him

those deep conversations which could be had over coffee but if you are kissing your way down his body he will not be able to stand it

he is so in love and it shows

hey bouncing out of that think of this

artist Sehyoon puts down a tarp one day and stips you naked. he begs you to let him paint you and he does, but not on a canvass

no he has body paint and his hands are the brush and he literally covers you in him so viscerally and emotionally

it starts beautiful

a color here and there outlining things he thinks make you so unique

you’ve got stretchmarks? scars? moles?

he amplifies these and makes you see your “flaws” as as beautiful as he sees them

full length mirror in front of you once you are enhanced he grips the base of your neck gently in his hand from behind and meets your eyes in the mirror

his hot wet whisper in your ear that this

this was the peak of his creativity

that he would never be able to replicate on any other format the beauty he sees in you

and somehow even though it’s this beautiful sweet moment his eyes do the thing and you know you are in for it

expect the flutters to turn to fire as he puts a bit of pressure into that hand, just enough to get your attention. you know what comes after

expect to be much messier by the end and hes throwing out whatever clothes he bought tbh

aftercare isn’t gonna be a thing much

he works hard on you and he is tired

will cuddle forever after you will be gross and he will not care showers and cleanup are for after he has had his NAP

*I hope you enjoyed it!! feel free to send more requests anytime! I love peaking at these charts and delving in !

#kim sehyoon #wow a.c.e #a.c.e #a.c.e7 #kpop fanfic #a.c.e fanfic #ace fanfic #a.c.e scenarios #astrology #kpop astrology #kpop asks

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kurtty-drabbles · 4 years

Text

Cursed au

N/A: Male Wanda´s name is James it can´t be Wando. Is a one-shot. Kitty somehow manages to be the only person who sees Scarlet Witch who is taken as dead thanks to his last mission for the Avengers. I wrote this at 7 A.M...I was on crack lol.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @bamfoftheundead @everykurt @autistic-eight

Blinking her eyes one time, two times and three times wasn´t enough to make this real in her mind, so, she resorts in rubbing her eyes one last time. "You know, you can end up with eye problems if you continue to squeeze your eyes like that" his voice draws amused as Kitty looks up one last time. "So...is this for real or is this a cosmical joke?" Kitty asked looking at the Scarlet Witch, James Maximoff, who shurgs off offering no real explanation.

It wouldn´t be a problem seeing Scarlet Witch in her bedroom at this time-she would argue few people would see this as a problem- however, there´s one single fact that can´t be ignored in his visit here. "You´re a ghost?" Kitty asked a bit chilled as James is more translucid than normal.

"Well...kind?" James smiles sheepishly. "Well, I used a spell and I didn´t foresee the consequences...so, I´m kind between dead and alive thanks to a spell" Scarlet Witch looks back and forth at the room and adds. "I think before casting the spell I was curious to see how the lighting house is..."

Kitty is not impressed. "Well, congratulations. This is Excalibur, now, if you excuse me...I have to clean Clown´s shit and then speak to Excalibur about the horny werewolves and you"

James is not sure if he should laugh or be concerned.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Meggan, Rachel, Brian, and Kurt are all set on the furniture that is no longer cover in clown´s shit-James asks Kitty what really happened here before he appearing in this lighting house and Kitty just replies is another normal day in Excalibur- as they´re hearing a strange tale from the one and only Kitty Pryde.

Kurt and Brian aren´t fond of the fact they´re agreeing in something. "Kitty..." Brian starts carefully and holding his hands to give a more poison look, however, Kurt is the one to add his sentence without hesitation. "Katzchen...this story is a bit strange even for us...Scarlet Witch sacrifices himself in the mission for the Avengers" Kurt states carefully and throwing a fixated glance on Kitty.

James adds some pieces of information to this information. "Hey, with my so-called sacrifice I saved the X-men too...no one mentions this...don´t let my sacrifice make me a martyr to cause an X-men vs Avengers" James crosses his arms and glared at Kurt bemused.

Kitty clears her throat. "He sacrificed to save X-men too...let´s not use his name to cause another conflict between Avengers and X-men" she starts looking to the right where James is and saw his beaming smile. "But, my point is...I´m seeing his ghost and I think...he´s not really dead and is more like stuck between dimensions" now her eyes are determined as she puts her hands on her hips invoking all the fierce her smaller feature and name can create.

Shadowcat has a reputation and she knows it.

Kurt and Brian look at each other for a moment and slowly face Kitty. "Kitty, if Scarlet Witch is here...why is he contacting you of all people? You two never interact before..." and Kitty looks to her right to see James shurgs off again.

"Magic is weird!" Kitty states narrowing her eyes and ignoring James´s protests.

"Look, we can´t see Scarlet Witch...for all we know, this could be a trap. Maybe Gatecrasher is doing one of her schemes" Brian suggests and is surreal to everyone-minus James who is looking at the remains of the last fight wondering what truly happened- see the two men agreeing in something.

"I agree" Kurt closes his eyes and refuses to make eye contact with anyone who isn´t Kitty. "This can be a trap...and maybe..." he stops talking when Rachel rose from the furniture and slowly looks at the right and wide her eyes impressed.

"Scarlet Witch?"Rachel asked perplexed and then looks at Kitty for a moment and back to her other teammates. "I believe Kitty. I was focusing on getting his signal and yes, Scarlet Witch is between dimensions and I can read his thoughts..." she looks at Kitty again. "He wanted to see a lighting house before casting that spell?" Rachel asked dubious and incredulous as she throws her bemused expression to the right side where she can sense Scarlet.

"Yeah...magic is weird, Ray!" Kitty summarizes everything in one line and James took offense at that until he realizes all his other spells and decides she has a point.

Gloriana, who was silent during this exchange, nods her head sagely and speaks. "I can sense his chaotic magic...he´s here and he´s stuck and I guess ...our Kitty is the only one who can save him" Meggan Pucenau has poker face but Brian looks at her comically as she winks at him.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

"Isn´t it a bit strange?" Kurt asked Rachel who was pretending to do something else to not have to engage in a conversation, but, now she has no means to avoid conversations. "I mean, this Scarlet fellow shows up in Kitty´s room and now she must save him..." his golden eyes are narrowing a bit his tone is a bit low almost like a whisper.

Rachel rolls her eyes. "He´s not here, Kurt. And two, what you wanted Kitty to do? Ignore a man in need of rescue?" and noticing her words it makes a smile born on her stoic face-people often say Rachel would look pretty smiling and people often learn that Rachel is Pheonix and no one should tell her to smile if she doesn´t want- as she noticed the trick in her words.

Or maybe it was Kurt´s reaction that makes her smile. "We know nothing about this man...or his intentions" Kurt´s tail is aggressively moving back and forth.

Rachel sighs tiredly and wonders for a brief moment if this is how her father feels in regards to Wolverine. "Kurt, I don´t know about the man...I´d know Kitty trust him and I think you, of all people, should trust her judgment more" Rachel states wondering if Kurt will see this as an attack or not.

"What do you mean?"

"She trusts on your word about Piotr even when she didn´t ...and ended up breaking the relationship because of that. Bottom line. She really trusts you...can you do the same?"

"Of course...I´m just worried for a random man following her around"

"Rightfully so, but, he´s not following her around to be creepy...he´s stuck between dimensions Kurt...remember that?" Rachel almost congratulates herself to have a conversation with Kurt where she doesn´t attack him verbally. "Or when Kitty was lost in dimensions and we found out she was in that school being groomed by Courtney and you ended up giving attention to those girls? yeah, she still trusts you" and Rachel leaves snapping her fingers as her lips frown.

Almost concluded her day without verbally attacking Kurt. Damn.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Pietra Maximoff with her long platinum hair- always carefully tied in a ponytail giving the illusion of a whip- has her eyes lock on Kitty as her nostril are flaring as she´s taking her time to process everything and speaks again. "Is this joke?" her tone is acid. "You X-men know no taste...joking on something like that" her tone is icy but is nothing like Magneto´s cold stare and Kitty faced the man in the past to know the difference.

"She´s always a worrywart and always think the worse of people...not that is without reason" James explains in Kitty´s ear.

"Pietra...I´m not joking, your brother is really here" Kitty looks at loss, and James whisper again something and Kitty´s eyes wide at this but repeats the words anyway.

"He told me about the scar on your shoulder. It was a hex that he lost control and accidentally hurt you...he feels guilty ever since" Kitty speak and Pietra has taken a few steps back and is silent.

"Anyway...I wear a bikini ...people take photos" Pietra states boldly but without any conviction.

"Ok, tell her something only she knows..." and adds. "Don´t tell this to anyone else...Kitty. I meant!" James says in his protective tone as Kitty now looks at Quicksilver in a new light.

"He told me you wanted to join the circus...and was ready to leave the Avengers for that but...the circus couldn´t hire you" Kitty repeat those words carefully and Pietra open and closes her mouth for a moment and now has watery eyes.

"James? you asshole...don´t tell this to strangers"

"I promise to not tell anyone" Kitty offers kindly and Pietra doesn´t mention this again.

"Can...you bring him back?"

"Yes, I can"

And James speaks again. "Don´t make promises you can´t keep" James has a sort forlon expression and really, Kitty doesn´t need to be a genius to know why.

"He says for me to not keep promises I can´t keep. So, let me try again. I´ll bring him back." she states looking boldly at James who only shakes his head at her.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

"Tell me something about you," James asked as Kitty is in her room looking at some blueprints of machines and some theories of magic in her desk. His tone is kind and is contrasting with his crimson uniform. "We´re stuck together...so, I would like to know something about my savior" James can sit as Kitty puts her books down.

"I´m not as interesting as you may think" she replies modestly and James shakes his head.

"Don´t know...I think I should be the judge of that. I mean, someone who wants to save a strange dude stuck between dimensions? Nah, she can´t be uninteresting" James replies and Kitty sighs and rest her face on her right hand and looks at his face.

"I join the X-men when I was 13 years old"

"Go on"

"I once die and got ghost-like, sort of, and Frank Reeds saved me...no one ever mention this so I must never bring this one"

"I´m a ghost...and I´m here"

Kitty opens and closes her mouth and is in deep thinking until she reveals something. "I´m to introvert and hate to speak about myself...I have insecurities and I can´t make friends easily...not very popular in my school"

"Again, I´m here...and I´m a ghost"

________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt is not exactly thrilled to know Kitty is doing a magic ritual and yet, is proud she managed to do this in such short time-mixing science and magic is something she would do and Kurt can´t help by feeling proud of her- however, his mind is fixated on Scarlet Witch and wonder what his bad intentions with Kitty are.

Pietra is present there and is standing still-a bad signal for any speedster as Excalibur knows- and Kitty is doing the ritual. No blood or magic sex involving instead there´s only Kitty speak some words in Latin and then...Scarlet Witch is physical again.

"Sister!"

"Brother!"

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Kitty is tending the garden of Excalibur- it was a present from a mission well made and the flowers are harmless and only are strange- when she sees a man with short caramel hair and is wearing something casual, yet, is clear as day.

"James?" she speaks and the man offers a smile and waves one of his hands. "Are you ok?"

"Do I need to be hurt to see you?" his tone is confused and Kitty bites her inner check.

"I just thought I wouldn´t...you´re back."

"I´m here...and you´re here...am I here?" James asks and Kitty goes to him gently cupping his face and touching his rebel wisp of hair gingerly. "Am I here?"

Kitty and James´s lips touch each other. Excalibur watches and Kurt has a very strong opinion about it. "What?!" and Kurt decides he really doesn´t like Scarlet Witch.

#scarlet cat #male Wanda here #he is canon #I was on crack when I wrote this lol #Kitty Pryde #Wanda Maximoff #James Maximoff #Jelly Kurt #this is long #Sorry

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