#wampus asmr

[sheawritesstuff]

Redacted Pet Headcanons

[In no particular order]

Aggro is a black persian cat with yellow-golden eyes

Wampus is a short-haired white cat with orange tabby spots

Ivan had a green and gray conure growing up

Asher won a goldfish at a fair once and killed it by trying to feed it bacon bits

Marie spoils Aggro like she would a human grandchild

Sam had an old cattle dog he had to leave behind in Mont Blanc

Anton has a soft spot for senior animals and has adopted several throughout his life

David grew up with a basset hound but it died not long after Gabe did

Ollie's parents have a crusty-eyed white dog

Aaron has always wanted a rottweiler but has never had the time to actually take care of one

Elliot has a bearded dragon

Caelum once made a list of reasons Gavin and Freelancer should adopt a puppy because he wanted a reason to come visit them more

Camelopardalis loves snakes but doesn't like feeding them mice, so he's never had one of his own

Sam grew up raising chickens and always named them so he could refer to them all respectfully

Vincent has never had a pet but he spent a decent chunk of his childhood and adolescence visiting and volunteering at animal shelters

Geordi had a terrarium of insects that were very well taken care of

Lasko got a puppy for his birthday once but his mom got mad at him and took it to the pound a few weeks later

Huxeley's moms feed the deer in their yard every day and some of them still recognize Hux when he comes to visit

Damien had a hampster in middle school - he refuses to give details on what happened to it

Guy's family has what can only be described as an army of golden retrievers

Marcus had a gecko that would just lay on his shoulder while he went about his day

[prince-damien-of-darkness]

Ollie and Wampus

[capitalisticveins]

Unempowered Boys Headcanons (Ft Vega, Wampus, Aggro, and Cutie)

Took a bit longer than I thought but I’m still happy with how it turned out

Also I have like 1 personal headcanon that might be based on gender? If you look at it that way? I didn’t want to include it but I did so, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable

PS: Erik refers to Ollie’s listener as “Babe” in March Redactedness, so I did that here too. They’re not to be confused with “Baaabe” (Asher’s listener)

- Guy puts milk before cereal solely to piss off Honey

- Ollie and Babe have matching cat pajamas

- Geordi was a short distance runner for his high school track team. He quit after 3 weeks

- Flyboi! Baby tried to reconnect with Ivan when he was still influenced by Vega, but couldn’t find anything about him online. His number was gone, and so was all of his social media..

- Aaron worked at Walmart for 1 year before quitting on the spot without a 2-week notice

- Geordi was invited to a party in his high school year by Ben. He thinks of it as “one of the most depressing parties I’ve ever been to” in his words

- Ollie would vent to Wampus about his crush on Babe for 2 years before confessing. Wampus was asleep whenever this happened

- Honey was an honor roll student and a part of the college varsity team.

- Guy worked at Max’s Rustic Pizza to afford his tuition, with added bonus money from his parents whenever his paychecks weren’t enough

- Geordi’s only gone to 4 parties, 2 of which were birthday parties in elementary school

- Smartass used to pretend something smelled bad whenever Aaron walked past their cubicle, nothing pissed him off more than when they did that

- Ivan plays Stardew Valley

- Either Geordi and Cutie are the same height, or Cutie is taller by 2+ inches

- Wampus leaves the house through the window whenever neither Babe nor Ollie are home, and gets into another couple’s house and loafs with their cat, or fight them, it’s never clear

- Flyboi! Baby only plays Minecraft on peaceful mode and on 24 hour daylight. It’s too intense to play any other way

- When Cutie first told Geordi they were a telepath, he would put an aluminum foil on his head for a week whenever he wanted 100% privacy. Cutie found it adorable for the wrong reason

- Smartass forgot some stuff on their desk when they quit (a plant, some pictures, post-its, etc), Aaron keeps them on his desk.

- Honey would tutor other students whenever they could.

- Geordi hates FNAF

- Ivan starts getting headaches whenever he sees something about Vesta Distribution online, but he doesn’t know what’s causing it

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby works in Smartass’ old position at Vesta now

- Guy realized Honey was a tutor, and suddenly started being terrible at his English classes. He was assigned to be tutored by Honey, and started silently upper cutting the air when he was told this

- Ollie played Uno once as a teenager. Never again.

- Smartass would demolish Aaron at Monopoly

- Cutie absolutely ADORES Pitbulls

- Babe has 3 pet hamsters that has continuously tried to kill themselves and each other

- Guy proposed the idea of being roommates a few months before Honey finished their final semester, he was scared that when they graduated, they’d drift apart

- When he still had Sadism’s Hold! Baby in captivity, Ivan would want to see if Flyboi! Baby responded to his voicemail, but Vega’s control on him was too much, and he’d forget

- Aaron was one of those kids that would hold 3 chairs to show off to the class in the 2nd grade

- (Personal headcanon) Cutie did cheerleading in high school

- Sadism’s Hold! Baby would rather die than own a pet, commitment isn’t their strong suit, at all.

- Geordi wears dorky glasses, Cutie sometimes steals them and wears it themselves, and then gets a headache

- Guy and Honey went through 5 roommates before just moving in with each other, they only liked 1, but that one moved out.

Taglist: @frenchiefitzhere

[catella-ars]

Redacted Cats!

Aggro is a good-sized dude, but he can’t compare to the chungus that is Wampus. Then there’s Angel’s cat, Gremlin, the definition of scrungle. (Yes, in my heart, they take her back from Michael and David eventually warms up to her.)

[elizabethplaid]

I randomly had the lamp on, because it sounded like Wampus was getting into something. I left it on, kinda forgot about it. Awhile later, I look down and see this loooong spider leg reaching over the edge of my laptop. I brushed it away with a paper towel, only relocating instead of squishing.

Anyway, I'm not looking forward to turning off the lamp, even though it's quiet-asmr-meditation-in-the-dark hours. Well, not as "in the dark", because the sun's coming up now. Still dark in the room, with the shades closed and all. The cats seem to be hanging nearby, maybe in hopes I'll feed them? Would they take care of potential spiders for me? Prolly not.

Guess I'll just go to bed.

[chaotic-cheshire]

Barely started the video and already I'm just smiling like an idiot

[capitalisticveins]

Do you guys think Aggro’s alive in Imperium?