#wardsarefunctioning

[wotzka]

hello hello! i wanted to warn people that this blog is about to get a lot more dragon age heavy. everything about the new game will be tagged #dragon age: the veilguard, and everything about the series in general will be tagged #dragon age to be block friendly!

editing to add: and i will be adding #datv pregame spoilers for anything that spoils elements of the plot before release that were not in the trailer or the gameplay demo!

dragon age visitors, hi! i'm wards, i used to be on here as wardsarefunctioning. i wrote a pride and prejudice / solas & trevelyan crossover fic on ao3 called Under Good Regulation, i sometimes draw things from my D&D games, and i have some batshit theories about kirkwall in particular.

and i'm going to be real with you... there's still gonna be a lot of bad memes and puns on here

[beaubartley]

Here is a silly little request for the very dreamy and wonderful @wardsarefunctioning

A happy happy belated birthday to youuuuuuu! Thank you for being so patient and letting me goof around a bit :))))))))

[empresstress13]

The Chain I Forged In Life - Chapter 3 Authors: @wardsarefunctioning & @empresstress13 Summary: Solas is visited by the first of three spirits. (A Solavellan retelling of A Christmas Carol) ~~~~ “You,” Solas said, shocked. “Greetings, falon,” Felassan replied in a cheerful tone. He pushed himself off with his foot and began to approach the desk. He chuckled. “I’d say “Andaran atish’an., but that would imply I feel anything close to safety in your presence.” ~~~~

[fandom-age]

text overlaid atop the dragon age logo that reads "my fandom experience would feel so empty without @wardsarefunctioning. we don't even talk all that often, but when we do, i'm always struck by her wit and creativity. and she's SUCH. A GOOD. WRITER."

[shannaraisles]

top 5 rock songs

Wow, that’s going to be delving back into the 70′s and 80′s! Here we go!

1. Final Countdown - Europe

2. Carry On, Wayward Son - Kansas

3. Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

4. Paradise City - Guns’n’Roses

5. Back In Black - AC/DC

[Ask me my Top 5/Top 10 anything!]

[ellstersmash]

Athi + solas, three sentence, map

"I don't need a fucking map!" she insists, and stomps away through the brush.

With a weary sigh, Solas carefully folds the offending map up and tucks it into his pack. Then he follows the leader he never elected in the direction opposite that of Redcliffe.

The Game: Send me a pairing + a prompt for a 3-sentence fic!

[baejax-the-great]

Also 21

21. Thigh-high stockings and garter belts

Thank you so much for the prompt! The list it came from ishere. If you were hoping for smut… I’m sorry, but it’s not where my brain went.Also, part of me was like, Fenris wouldn’t go along with this stupid plan. Andthe rest of me was like, Fenris married Hawke! Half of his life is just goingalong with stupid plans!

I couldn’t make this work with the timing of QVT, so we’regoing to pin this under multiverse theory, in a world in which Fenris and Hawkeskip the honeymoon, or maybe in which Lara manages to keep control over herapartment.

Read over on AO3

(QVT is a modern AU with a main pairing of  Solas x Lavellan and a side pairing of Fenris x Hawke)

~~

Hi Fenris! I receiveda package without a name on it, so I opened it. But… I don’t think it’s for me.Do you want to come get it?

That seemed normal enough, right? Lara’s thumb hovered overthe send button. Should she have offered to deliver it to him? No, that wouldonly make this so much worse. There wasn’t much she could do. The package wasopen, she couldn’t hide that she saw what was in it, so better just to pull thebandaid off and be done with it.

Maybe she should just leave it outside her door.

I am nearby right now.I will come take a look.

She couldn’t lock the door on the man who gave her a freeapartment.  So he liked wearing lingerie.Maybe he wasn’t shy about it. Lara could be mature about this. She waited,trying to find a natural position to sit in.

Fenris opened the door, swore to himself, shut it, thenknocked. He hadn’t been up since she moved in, and obviously wasn’t used toknocking on his own door. He blinked twice at her choice of wall decorations—plasticsheets covered in equations—and asked for the package.

“It’s over on thecounter,” she said, waving toward his old kitchenette. “I’ll just um, I’ll just…yeah.”

She tried to pretend she wasn’t watching him examine theshipping label. His brows furrowed, and he pulled out the offending products.

“I did not order these.”

Two garter belts hung from his fingers, soft lace danglingin the air. The matching stockings were still in their plastic wrap.

“Well I didn’t.”She was met with his calm, skeptical face, and felt a whole-body blush seepingthrough her skin. “And if I had, I definitely wouldn’t invite you over to come…look through them.”

He placed the garments back into the package and pulled outthe receipt. “Perhaps someone purchased them for you. A gift.”

Her face burned even harder. She couldn’t even begin toconsider that Solas would do this. They weren’t even… they’d barely even started… She crossed her arms over herchest.

“And maybe Hawke purchased them for you.”

“Hawke wouldn’t—”

He paused. Lara narrowed her eyes at him, daring him tofinish that sentence. Hawke wouldn’t forget his address? Hawke wouldn’t forgetto leave a note? Hawke wouldn’t buy him lingerie? They both knew she would.

Fenris rubbed a hand over his face. “What size are they?”

Both of them now held a garter each, looking at the labels. “It’sjust numbers,” Lara said, “Doesn’t mean anything to me.”

It was the same with the stockings. As Lara tried not to admirethe seam on the back, she had to admit that the buyer had good taste. Please, please don’t be Solas.

Fenris pulled out his phone and started texting Hawke. Therewas no amount of money in the world that could tempt her to ask Solas if he hadbought her underwear. Well, actually there were many sums she would acceptbecause money was useful, men were plentiful and dignity was fleeting, but it wasunlikely Fenris had any money to speak of.

She held a stocking up toward him to gauge the length. Hehad at least five inches on her, and while she had never worn this stylebefore, it looked too long. Upon catching his glare, she brought her hand backdown. “Maybe you should… try it on. See if it fits.”

“Me?” Fenris looked pointedly at the stockings in her handand back at Lara.

They stared at each other for what felt like hours, waitingfor the other to back down. “We’ll both try them on,” Lara finally huffed.

“What?”

“One pair each. That way we both can feel like idiots.”

“So just another day then.”

“Exactly.”

Fenris took the bathroom and Lara went to her bedroom. Shewas absolutely not about to try to figure out how a garter worked, so she puton the shortest shorts she owned and got to work rolling up the stockings. Asshe suspected, they were way too long.

“Fenris,” she called, walking into the hallway, “These aren’t—Oh.”

Hawke was standing in her living room. She gave Lara a onceover, biting her lip and stroking her chin. “That… is not quite how I imaginedthem looking. Tell me, do your shorts happen to say ‘physics’ on the ass, orsome other delightful expression?”

A clatter from the bathroom saved Lara from having torespond. Hawke threw open the door, and Fenris tumbled out. Hawke caught himbefore he slipped across the floor. Lara knew she shouldn’t look, but fuck did Fenris look good, even if hehad chosen to put the garter on over his briefs and then promptly fallen on hisass before he could attach the stockings.

“How does anyone walk in these?” he grumbled.

“They don’t, mostly. Are you done giving Lara a show? I don’twant her getting any ideas.” Hawke glanced at Lara, who was unabashedlyenjoying the view. “Well, any more ideas.I have a hard time believing you werethe one to suggest putting on my lingerie for what I can only imagine was somesort of practical joke?”

“That is exactly what happened,” Lara said, pink from headto toe and still staring at Fenris’s thighs. “And we succeeded at the joke andit’s over now so I’m going to take these off.”

From inside her room and beyond the pounding of her heartwithin her ears, Lara heard Hawke say, “Happy honeymoon, husband. I didn’treally intend for these to be a ‘his and hers’ matching set but I can’t say Ihate it.”

Fenris’s response was muffled, and then Hawke was laughing. Larafolded up the stockings neatly, added the garter belt to the pile, gathered allthe courage and poise she had left, and entered the living room.  

“Enjoy your honeymoon,” she said, unable to meet Hawke’seyes.

She turned on her heel to flee, when Hawke exclaimed, “Meteor!Of course that’s what they say. Because your ass is out of this world.”

Lara slammed the door to her room. She was going to have toget new friends. She was never going to be able to look at Hawke again, she wasnever going to be able to wear these shorts again, and she was never, ever,going to forget Fenris’s legs.

[galadrieljones]

Fair enough! Dorian/Bull, books :)

“Fancy meeting you here,” said Dorian, perusing the shelves of the Skyhold library, “seeing as you’re never here.”

“I’m here because you’re here,” said Bull, cracking his knuckles, kind of riled, “and also because Solas is fucking pissing me off again.”

Dorian softened, gave him a warm look and said, “You’re adorable when you lose at Diamondback, amatus.”

Send me a pairing and a prompt, and I’ll write you a three-sentence fic <3

[thevikingwoman]

Perspective flip on Temporal Arrangements?

Ahh thank you! I rewrote the very beginning as Solas POV, and it was super fun!

=

Solas doesn’t want totrek through Dirthamen’s abandoned stronghold, but here he is. He will upholdhis part of the bargain, even as he hopes they will face Corypheus sooner orlater. He will take the orb and leave. His mind is set about his plan, and thesooner he can move forward, the better.

They duck into the small room, and he can already tell thescout’s instincts was right. No matter how far removed they are from the People,something still lingers. There is an item, pulsing with powerful Elven magic. Hedoesn’t recognize it, but he does recognize the magic.

“Fascinating. I have not seen this kind of magic in a longtime…” He takes a step forward and reaches for it and suddenly magic travels uphis arm, is sizzling through the room. A mistake. He tries franticly to nullifyit, to counter it but to no avail. He hears shouting behind him and feels someone– Iwyn – grip his arm and then everything goes dark.

He immediately senses the change when he comes to. The airis charged with magic, it flows through him freely, jubilant. No veil.

The next thing he notices is Iwyn, who has landed on top ofhim. She is wearing her armor and all her gear, but she still smells likeherself, and for one dizzying moment it takes all five of his senses to processit. Then he sees the hallway above him, he hears the music and the Elvish flowthrough the hallway and he knows where he is. It should be impossible, but thisis real and not the fade and they have travelled back in time.

The both get upfrom the floor, and he looks to make sure where they are. June’s palace.

“Where are we?What happened?” Iwyn asks.

He notices that he is adequately dressed, and in the fashionas before the Great War. Iwyn is not, however, still wearing the Inquisitionleathers. He must have somehow replaced himself.

“I’m sorry – Imust act quickly.”

He has no time toexplain. He uses his magic to conjure up an appropriate dress for her,something that suits her. Something that does not diminish her power or grace.

Solas – what isgoing on?”

Her eyes are wideand earnest and he wish he had answers.

“I need to… Idon’t know for sure… I think we are – “

He is interruptedby June’s arrival. June was mostly forthright, and Solas mostly liked him. Inthe end, of course, he was as corrupt as the others.

“Lord Fen’Harel!I didn’t see you arrive. How long have you been hiding in the shadows?” Junesays.

There is no hidingnow, and he holds back a wince. His secret is exposed, and he has no idea howshe will react. He hopes it will not kill them.

“How would you know?” he says.

He has to say something, something his former self wouldsay.

June laughs.

“I am afraid I have not yet made your acquaintance, myLady.” June grabs Iwyn’s hand and kisses, finishing with a flourish and a bow.He holds on to her hand far too long. “A warrior? Are you here alone?”

“She is with me,”he says, and he pulls her close. For her own protection.

“Lady Iwyn, thisis Lord June. Lord June, please meet Lady Iwyn.”

“A pleasure tomeet you, Lady Iwyn. Let me know if the wolf’s challenges grow dull.”

He wants to stranglethe man. This is how the game is played, though.

“As I am pleasedto meet you, Lord June.” Iwyn says, perfectly poised.

She impresseshim, yet again. She does not flail, or stutter, or turn to him in surprise oranger. She has assessed the situation, and acts accordingly. It makes him loveher more.

June keepstalking, about the currently politics and he tries to gather as much informationas he can. Anything to help him pinpoint the time period would be useful. Hetries to be as evasive as possible, and fortunately it isn’t suspicious here.

Finally, Junesuggests they rejoin the party, and walks ahead of them to the main ball room.

Into the fray, wherehe wishes desperately he could protect her, and keep her to himself.

 =

Unusual fic specific asks

[hollyand-writes]

@wardsarefunctioning I cackled pretty hard at “laughs descriptively” -- I just thought I’d let you know 😂

also, sharing here so other people can enjoy your wit as much as I did

[beaubartley]

“Are you suggesting that you find my presence intimidating?”

For the infinitely kind @wardsarefunctioning

[playwithdinos]

wardsarefunctioning

  Anyone recommend anything cool in NYC?

Lillies victorian establishment! Also maybe some soup dumplings

I cannot stress enough how very much I love soup dumplings. And I will make a point to buy some and shovel them in my face.

Also that Lillie’s place looks AMAZING i will be checking it out

[cedarmoons]

in the moment kiss - ariala x solas

from this prompt list

She wakes up wrapped around Solas, sweating, the backs of her eyelids painted red from the sun bleeding through the tent sides. Though it can’t be past early morning—she’s not a late riser like her Fadewalker—it’s already sweltering.

It’s the last day in the Forbidden Oasis, and Ariala is determined to enjoy it.

“Hey,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to the back of Solas’s neck. He doesn’t stir. She kisses his shoulder, trails kisses between his shoulderblades. His sleepshirt is damp with sweat. “Hey, sleepyhead. Fadewalker.”

He’s still out cold, and she rolls her eyes, lifting herself up onto her elbow to kiss his cheek and temple. “Solas,” she whispers against the blade of his ear. It twitches against her chin, and she grins. “Arasha. Wake up.”

Solas grumbles in his sleep, and she grins down at him. He squints at her, looks at the tent flap, and promptly pushes her away to roll onto his stomach and bury his face into the soft balled-up blanket he’s using as a pillow. Ariala laughs and kisses his shoulder, punctuating it with a mwah. “Too early for you, sleepyhead?”

Solas says something too muffled to hear, but she takes it as a yes. “I’m gonna go swiii-mming,” she sing-songs. “In the oaaasis. Don’t you want to join me?”

Solas exaggerates a snore in response, and she cackles, smacking his shoulder before dipping down to kiss the same spot with another mwah. She shifts around and sees the curve of his cheek as he tries to fight a smile. “Your loss, arasha,” she whispers. “You’re gonna be hot and miserable all day when we’re riding back.”

She ventures outside to see no one else is up, which figures—it’s a little past dawn, if the shadows are anything to go by. She makes the two minute walk to the shores of the oasis, then strips out of her pajamas to her smalls, resting them on a rock before plunging into the water.

It’s not freezing cold, but pleasantly cool, a nice break from the desert heat. Ariala swims almost to the waterfalls and emerges, gasping, wiping water and wet hair out of her eyes. When she looks back, Solas is outside of the tent, still squinting and looking half-asleep. She calls out to him, waving, and he ambles over, kneeling down to splash water on his face and neck. 

A moment later, movements still slow, he takes off his shirt and pants and wades into the water. She takes a moment to admire his chest, his soft stomach, before he shudders and dives in. She watches the blur of his body swim toward her and emerge only a few feet away. She closes the distance, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pressing her forehead to his and grinning.

“Glad you changed your mind,” she murmurs. He shudders, though whether from the cold or her touch she doesn’t know. Still, it’s enough to get him to wrap his arms around her waist, keeping her buoyant in the water.

“I did not wish to miss this time with you,” he says. Their noses brush, and his eyes flutter shut. Even though he’s shivering, he somehow still looks half-asleep.

“Sweet talker,” Ariala accuses. Solas smiles, eyes opening, then darting down to her mouth. Ariala shakes her head, smiling, and kisses him, unable to resist any longer. Solas makes a soft sound at the back of his throat, arms tightening around her, and she smiles briefly before deepening the kiss.

“Vhenan,” Solas says, when they part.

“Arasha,” she says, and Solas’s smile makes her heart thrill.

They spend the rest of the morning in the oasis, at least until Cassandra and Bull emerge from their tents and they have to start preparing to return to Skyhold.

[izzym-art]

What are some DA choices you can never change, no matter how many playthroughs? And what are some you play around with?

romancing Solas uhh I mean 😆

So I had played two main playthroughs; Athelas Lavellan and Niphredil Lavellan. Athelas’ playthrough is where I played the game for the first time so the choices are my own. In Niphredil’s playthrough, all the choices I made were all in opposite of the choices I made in Athelas’ playthrough. After these two main playthroughs, I played around with the choices in other minor playthroughs, so here’s my answer:

I will never change choosing the mountain path to go to the Temple of Sacred Ashes, even if Cass disapproved of it, no matter which inquisitor I use.

I prefer allying with the Mages.

I prefer exiling the Wardens.

I play around with who rules Orlais, but I think I’m set to setting Briala to rule.I will never change my positive alliance with Abelas.If my Inquisitor is an Elf, I will have them drink from the Well. If not, I let Morrigan have them, but I play around with that choice too actually, depending on what race my Inquisitor is for that playthrough.

And lastly, I play around with the decision to save Solas or not, depending on which Inquisitor I use, again. 

I think that’s it? If I left something out please let me know! 

This was an interesting ask, thank you! ^^