#was waiting for those two posts (tm) to calm down before i post this

[yyshcul]

(miserably) hi guys

[goosetrainer]

Mari's Tera Raid Guide #13 - Blastoise

ARGH Home maintenance how am I supposed to move this thing around and try more scenarios, HUH? Jail for Nintendo!

Btw I recycled the Gallade from last time. I also forgot to change his tera type back to fighting and I still won with a lot of time left, lol. Dare I say it was easier?

Why is that turtle so fast

Edit: final version of the post now <3

Gallade lv.100

Tera type: Fighting/Grass/Water

Ability: Sharpness

Nature: Careful

Item: Shell Bell

IVs: max HP, attack, special defense

EVs: 252 attack, 252 special defense, 4 HP

Moveset:

-Sacred Sword (move reminder)

-Swords Dance (level up)

-Light Screen (TM) (only necessary for Fighting and Grass teras)

-Mystical Fire (egg move) (commonly learned by Gardevoir)

More tera types this time, order of moves changes a bit depending on which one you have. Grass type is for if you used my build for Venusaur, so that you don't have to use up more resources.

Usage:

Just like last time, open with 3 Mystical Fires - the difference here is that you're not in as much danger of dying with Blastoise, his opening moves are all defensive, and his AI will favor Hydro Pump over the other moves - it's strong but it has low accuracy. Yay for us! Be ready to use a healing cheer in case of a critical hit, though.

Next, 3x Swords Dance (again with healing from the cheer if needed), then terastallize, using Sacred Sword.

Here comes the tricky part, so pay attention:

The next phase has 4 dangerous scripted actions, in rapid succession, and in varying order depending on when you hit each threshold (2 Blastoise stat wipe, 1 player stat wipe, and 1 Shell Smash). What those do is first negate the sp.atk. drops from your Mystical Fires, then bring Blastoise to +2 sp.atk. (=damage doubled, compared to neutral), then wipe all your boosts so that you can't even count on those to survive.

This is why I chose Light Screen over Calm Mind, it won't be erased. And you can only use it once every 5 turns, so it takes less time. When and if to use it depends on a variety of factors:

-if one of your NPC allies is the Bellibolt, you may not need to use it all, because it may have put the screen up for you (To check: press Y while out of the moves menu, then select your pokemon. It should be towards the top-right of the screen, and the numbers next to it will let you know how many turns are left until it vanishes)

-fighting tera: try to use it after the first of Blastoise's self-stat modifications-wipe (should happen after your first Sacred Sword). That way it should be up for all of the scripted actions, which will happen in the span of 1-2 turns only, given how much damage you're dealing.

-grass tera: the timing here is important, because you deal less damage and it will take more turns to get there. If you use Light Screen too early, you risk it being down when you need it most. Wait for the turn before you break the shield (give or take after 4 Sacred Swords). Don't panic if you forget or the shield breaks too soon because of some crits on your part, it's actually pretty forgiving and you can put the Screen up after Blastoise's scripted Shell Smash.

-water tera: screen? Who needs a screen?

Break the shield with more Sacred Sword(s) if you haven't yet, and now Blastoise should use Shell Smash. Drop everything and use two more Mystical Fires (or a Light Screen if you need it and it's not up - see above - and then two Mystical Fires). No more than that, they will be wasted because of the next Blastoise stat wipe. And, actually, if you have Sylveon among the NPCs check Blastoise's status before using the second Mystical Fire - there's a chance the Sylveon lowered his sp.atk. already with Moonblast. The goal is neutral special attack, so as long as you don't see green upwards arrows next to Blastoise's special attack in the status menu, you're done with this phase.

Keep your eyes open for when Blastoise wipes your stat modifications. If it hasn't happened yet, use more Sacred Swords; when it happens, do 3 more Swords Dances (with healing cheer if needed), and then you're safe to spam Sacred Swords until the end. If you're out of heals, or if you're having bad luck with those and you can't heal enough, you can do 2 Swords Dances only and then start attacking right away to keep yourself alive, it'll just take some more time to finish. If it went well, you should still have plenty of time left!

On tera types:

Fighting was my first choice. You can find wild Gallades with it (as long as you have the bottle caps to train them), is defensively neutral to all of Blastoise's moves, is offensively supereffective on Steel, and makes Sacred Sword a monster of an attack. The drawback is that it does not resist Hydro Pump, which means little at the start of the fight, but can be a problem later when dealing with a +2 sp.atk., under the rain, murder turtle that's also faster than you. You have to be religious with defending yourself if you chose this tera, a forgotten Mystical Fire or Light Screen will be your end.

Grass was a happy accident. Sacred Sword deals less damage with it, BUT that means that Blastoise's scripted actions will have some time between them, and you can breathe. Plus it resists Hydro Pump - once you're terastallized, Blastoise will start using Flash Cannon instead. It's weaker and it doesn't get powered up by the rain, so it's easier to survive. Con 1: Flash Cannon has a chance of lowering your special defense. It hasn't happened to me, but I fear it could ruin the entire fight, so keep that in mind. Con 2: less damage = takes more time to win. It was still a good 1/5 of the total when I tried, so not too bad. Con 3: grass shards 🙄

Water: Better than Grass, honestly. Same situation offensively; better situation defensively, because it resist Hydro Pump and Flash Cannon, so it forces Blastoise to prefer Aura Sphere, which is his weakest attack, and without the annoying sp.def. drop. It can be a little annoying to have to use all those Sacred Swords in a row but you can go in with mo more than 3 moves, amazing! (advice: do not be tempted to use Aqua Cutter over Sacred Sword here. I chose Sacred Sword because it ignores changes to the target's defense, and that carapaced menace has Withdraw and Iron Defense. You will not make it)

TL;DR: 3x Mystical Fires (Heal Up cheer if needed), 3x Swords Dances (Heal Up cheer if needed), terastallize,start attacking with Sacred Sword, Light Screen (if it's not already up) before you break the shield, break the shield with Sacred Sword, 2x Mystica Fires after Blastoise's Shell Smash. If your stat modifications haven't been reset yet, use more Sacred Sword(s); when they have, 3x Swords Dance (with healing cheer if needed), then Sacred Sword all the way.

Pros:

-again, common pokemon to find

-you get some choice regarding the tera type this time

-recycled build if you used my grass Gallade with Venusaur

-only 3 max IVs

-less setting up than usual!

Cons:

-none of the tera types listed is readily available by breeding so you have to choose if you want to use bottle caps, tera shards, or try your luck with the tera dens

[bunny-wk-fanfic]

Some News & Explanations

So, it's been a while, near a year I think, since I last posted anything really 'major' here or anywhere else. I did share a few pieces over on FF.net, but I wanted to explain the reason I was basically MIA for the past year.

2020 started off on a bad note for me and my family, which had nothing to do with the pandemic. Nearing the end of 2019, we noticed that my grandfather was not doing so well, and after learning that he had suffered a stroke and told no one, not even our family doctor, things quickly went south. Multiple tests were done, and each time he got worse and worse, until finally after New Years, he was finally diagnosed with ALS. Now those of you who don't know, it's a crippling disease. If you're young, you have a chance at a long life with treatment and medicine. If you're over 50, it's aggressive, quick, and painful. We literally watched my grandfather whither away for three months before he finally passed away in March.

March 2020 was shitty all around. My grandfather passed, his funeral was held a week later, although it had been delayed as Corona had just been declared as a pandemic so heavy lockdowns had been put into effect here in Germany. And to add insult to injury, some ass used a 'legal loophole' to swindle money out of me by claiming I was parked on private property. I did pay it, forgetting I did have insurance/coverage to help me for such situations, but when you're in mourning, thought process is pretty much nonexistent.

April 2020 was the first time I was affected by the pandemic as the company I was working with at the time had to close for two weeks since a few workers had tested positive as well as a lack of workers since some did come from France but were unable to cross the boarder due to the harsh lockdowns.

May 2020 things were looking a little on the bright side as I could officially move into my now apartment. Not only due to the fact that my sister finally found her own apartment close to where she was going to school and work, but because city hall was once again open and I could register to be a citizen of the city. Only to discover the apartment not only had water damage, but mold as well. Which was made worse since the landlord mentioned he did not have house insurance. Which is a big No-No here in Germany. Regardless if you live in the space or not, if you own it, you are required to have it insured in your name. Let's just say it made fixing it up and getting paid due to damages was made difficult because of his lack of insurance.

June 2020 I was once again living with my parents since the apartment needed to be cleaned and dehumidified. So, I was under stress since I was living out of their office and out of a duffle bag.

July 2020 I could finally move into the apartment and register with the city. Along with getting house insurance, since, as a tenant, I would need that, and it would help should any other issues crop up.

August 2020 I had to go through the process of quitting with the temp firm in order to be signed on officially with the company I was working with/for. It was a process as I was constantly asked for various forms of my resignation letters as well as various forms of sending it in.

September 2020 my car broke down. I could drive maybe for 15 minutes before the engine overheated. Which was enough time to get from work, to my parents, and from their place to our mechanic. He shared with me that the cooling system for the engine was basically leaking. It could be fixed for anywhere between 1000 - 2000 €, but with how old the car was, it wasn't worth it since he spotted other issues that would later cause problems that would either need to be fixed or replaced altogether. For an imported car from the US, it would be a timely and costly in the long run, so I needed to buy a new car.

October 2020 finally got a new (used) car which I'm happy with, still am to this day. Only to be laid off at the end of the month. The reason being was the low numbers of our product from the year; not just due to the pandemic, but also from a fire happening at a sister factory that slowed in us getting the supplies needed for us in production. All of which they had known since September, when they hired me on.

November 2020 went back to the temp company and immediately got a new job. Along with that, the restrictions that had been slightly lifted during the summer were once again in effect, along with a curfew.

December 2020 was actually calm, and I used this time to finally relax with my family.

January - March 2021 basically this is Germany's tax season, and I discovered that my temp company failed to give me my tax papers, so running around there. I was mostly quiet during this time, so I had planned on returning to both here and fanfic in general as I was comfortable with the company I was working with. Until they announced that they would be closing the location I was working at and moving their operation to a city that is literally in the middle of nowhere and would take me some 2 hours to travel to get there.

April 2020 was spent negotiating a new place to work with my temp company.

May - June 2020 a new job, a bit further away than I would have liked, but the work was alright and my coworkers were sociable. Until I was let go. And this was with the company lying to my temp firm, that I was caught playing on my phone during working hours. Which is impossible when you're working on a machine that needs to be watched, otherwise it was likely to jam. I learned the truth when I went in the next day to return my time-stamp chip that it was due to the reason that the next week there wouldn't be enough work to keep me. My temp firm said they might cross the company off their list of potential partners when I shared that bit of information, along with a few other details.

July - August 2020 so new job, closer to home, better pay, and with a few old coworkers from the company that wanted to close shop and move away. (I later learned they want to return back down to the area I live in, so, who knows what's going on with the higher ups). My family and I are also in the process of changing insurance brokers, as our old one was swindling us out of money, which we wouldn't have known if he had bothered to take the time to reply to our calls or messages or simply let us know that he wouldn't be in his office at certain times for whatever reason. Seriously, a simple 'I'm currently unavailable today, please contact me tomorrow' or 'I'll be out of office between XX to XX. Please wait until I return to ask any questions or address any issues' would have been better than waiting weeks to a month for a reply of any kind.

I'm sure I've explained this at least at some points during the past year, but then things just kept happening. Which then postponed and delayed my return more and more. I humbly apologize because of this and I ask for everyone's forgiveness. I do hope to return sooner rather than later, and if things continue to look as positive as they have these past two months, it looks like I'll finally be able to do so.

TM;DR 2020 sucked for more than just because of the pandemic, and hopefully I'll return sooner rather than later.

[felismiscellaneous]

Casonverse Expo

ok so after you see this you Cannot save it. the whole thing about the casonverse is that its solely “oral” and memory based. i cannot write down “rules” to it or anything. this post Will be lost to time and youll just have to deal with that

ok so. we begin. our story. w/ an explanation on how ectobiology has been going on earth c. basically, every once in a while to increase genetic diversity, a babeh between two of the original founders is created randomly, and said founders get to decide if they want to adopt that babeh or not.

now its been a very very long time on earth c and all of these bitches are immortal. yep. every single one. even the non godtiers, they get an immortality boon for winning the game. you know whats also a boon? all of the players getting revived. yep. every single one. because this is my au and i can do what i want.

anyways as i was saying basically at some point a babeh between john and karkat is made and this time theyre like “yeah ok well adopt this one” SO. they be goin there. and the ONE TIME they decide this is the right time the baby is fuckin BROKE. the internal organs of trolls and humans dont mesh very well when the genes are combined in the ectomachine, and this baby is basically just dying very slowly. this baby isssss Casey! well, shes not named that by her parents, but well just call her Casey for now.

john and karkat do their fuckin best to keep this thing alive but her tiny baby body is completely dysfunctional. and doesnt last very long. This is Traumatizing for Everyone Involved. anyways!! a pretty long time after that we have Cason and Jones. they were spawned at the same time. Jones is rose and kanayas horrible ectospawn, and Cason happens to be another equally horrible spawn between john and karkat! they decide to adopt this one, and fortunately it lives. This was Their First Mistake.

but before we get into Cason, lets get into Jones. Jones is,,,, very socially awkward. in fact, she often comes off as creepy to everyone else. this makes her very clingy towards her mothers, who arent That terrible at parenting. theyve got quirks, but theyre good for her. Jones doesnt really have any friends, except this Totally Cool and Not at All Dangerous cult she gets dragged into! this is the second secret shes ever kept from her mothers. the first is that shes the one who keeps bringing snails into the house. Jones likes snails, but shes not good at taking care of them. she just keeps bringing them into the house and feeding them her snack. her snack is rat poison. snails like and digest rat poison safely. snails! she likes them.

ALSO APPARENTLY SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS???? yeah lets get into that. see, Casey becomes a Regular Ghost after she dies. not a dream ghost, just a plain ol ghost. and anyways, shes around the same age as everyone else if not a year older due to Ghost Rules now, and Cason is the only one that seems to be able to see her. and then theres Jones. Jones is absolutely stunning to Casey and yes she falls so hard in dokis. but Jones is trying to ignore the fact that she can see ghosts. it makes her feel like even more of an outcast. ooooo drama! anyways those two have their own background plot going on about fighting eldritch gods or something idk.

LETS GET BACK TO CASON. see. Cason. is The Worst. like, genuinely. ever since he was a kiddo, he was a completely spoiled brat from day one, and spent his childhood Looking Down on People for multiple reasons. for one, hes the son of TWO FUCKING FOUNDERS AND RAISED BY THEM, two he got away with EVERYTHING, and three i think its just in his nature. Cason prides himself in being knowledgeable and better than everyone else, but he is not like Other Egomaniacs((tm.))

Cason doesnt necessarily care about being liked, even if he WAS a great manipulator, or being the best at Everything. he couldnt care less about sports or popularity. all he wants, is Control. just like hes had since day one. This is Terrible for Everyone Involved.

but most terrible for anyone, is Tippie Piyjon. Tippie is terezi and nepetas ectospawn, which, really started it all. now, terezi and nepeta are not horrible people, or even necessarily horrible parents, but theyre just not suited for it. Tippie raised herself on romance novels and the like, especially after being sortve taken in as a goddaughter by karkat almost immediately after she was born. and, because of this, she got to meet Cason very early on. there was hardly ever a day where the two werent around eachother, whether they liked it or not. in school, at their own house, wherever. now, being around Cason of all people all the time, meant you knew exactly how he operated.

and well, Tippie figured that, maybe, if she was just good enough, she could change him. and Cason used that to his full advantage. the two became moirails, which was Fucked Up for Everyone Involved, and grew ever closer. now Cason, being Cason, was Extremely Emotionally Abusive to Tippie. she had to do what he asked, whatever it was, even if it wasnt morally right, she had to stay by his side, she couldnt cry in front of his parents, she had to get good grades so he wouldnt look bad, so many damn things she had to do. even if he never once laid a finger on her, her mental health was, slowly but surely, chiseled down.

every attempt at defying him was met with such coldness, or hed act more warm towards her, so surely she was doing something right and had to keep going. just had to be good enough. hell get better eventually. Cason earns the title of #1 Gaslighter Extraordinare. the only place she found any solace away from him was grubscouts, which she joined on her own terms when she was very young, and at the time was a camp counselor even! this lasted. for so many years.

Cason is nineteen whenever i depict him, and Tippie is seventeen, but very nearly eighteen. eventually, she cant take it anymore, and snaps at him. usually this doesnt last, and he would manage to calm her down eventually, but shes fucking Tired of it. he hasnt changed. not even a bit. well. Cason cant have that, now can he? the first time he lays a hand on her, he slaps her across the face. Big Mistake. though terrified, Tippie lashes out, and claws Casons left eye out, making a terribly deep gash that would leave him permanently blind in that eye whether or not he got treatment.

this scares the SHIT out of her, and Tippie runs off, for the first time, to her mothers. as she cries, she recounts how terrible everythings been and how she didnt mean it and shes sorry and- theres nothing to apologize for. its very clear, that they shouldve stepped in sooner, shouldve noticed something was wrong. meanwhile, Cason crawls home to his own dads, who are rightfully spooked seeing their son with a horrifically bloody face and a gouged eyeball. they only had a second to try and comfort him, before he snapped at them, showing a bit of his true nature to them for the first time, and also, terezi showing up behind him. after a thorough explanation which was mostly just a few stern, if a little tearful words, Casons parents are completely mortified. karkat quickly kicks him out in an act of raw emotion. no chance to grab clothes, or for john to interject, Cason is left outside, alone, and with absolutely no power left. what will he do?

theres also other characters but theyre like babies so they dont have much characterization and also arent very important to the story. but here they are ig:

owen, jade and daves child. hes like, 3. he likes sticks and playing in mud. hes 3 what more do you want from him

siyren, aradia and feferis kiddo. shes like, 6. she likes ballet, arts and crafts, and being snooty

damien, eridan and solluxs kid. hes 10, likes calling people slurs over xbox, and overcompensating since his parents waited so damn long to adopt him after his slimebirth

killer, who named himself, aradia and sollux kid. hes like 11 or something. he likes being edgy and has the same issue as damien. in fact, all but siyren have this issue

toga bitch, who i have currently yet to name, aradia and eridans kid. shes 12. she likes earth rome and chilling in public fountains. a burgundy whose violetkin

wemon wemon, who is also currently unnamed, feferi and eridans kid. hes 13, the oldest. he likes earth lemon demon and horror special effects

carrie, feferi and solluxs kid. shes like 11, likes dance dance revolution and earth 9s

rosie, calliope and roxys bab, whos a baby. jane is also her mom

ben, tippies far future carapacian bf, who likes boring shit like birdwatching and scrapbooking. malewife supreme. a very soft dude, and just wants to help his gf w/ her trauma and join her grubscout troop on earning badges. just a great, if boring guy

notkonyyl, just as unnamed, a notcanadian oliveblood who enjoys going to the gym, frequenting bars, being cool, flirty, and defending her moirail to the death

notkuprum, haha unnamed, is a human, and the moirail to notkonyyl. he likes things like being annoying, flirting with everyone taller than him ((most people)), the nintendo switch, and defending his moirail to the death

[starkaer]

it’ll last longer.

my @starkerkink prompter was @demons-sing-me-to-sleep, and i choose the third prompt. this was both all of the place and so much fun to write! hope you like it, though i didn’t manage to fit as many of your kinks as i’d like to. i might post it on ao3 later, but here we go!

tags: underage (peter is sixteen), incest, unnegotiated kink, mildly dubious consent, exploration of kink(s), unbetaed bc i’m a mess tm.

Nice! Peter will have the whole Stark Tower for himself, for more than a couple of days, for the very first time in his sixteen years. He had plans of inviting over Ned for the whole weekend, maybe bringing over Liz or Harry to try and impress them - maybe even invite that cute pizza boy in and let the things he saw online become reality. But, on the first day, he is going to do what he had been wanting to do for oh-so-longnow.

The tv in his room is indeed huge and he would never complain about it, but nothing could ever compare to the one in the living room. 4k porn. God, he is going to be living the teenage dream. Computer on the coffee table, a towel on his side, clothes not even on after the shower a couple of hours ago.

God, he is actually feeling nervous! He sighs to get the anxiety out, and gets to work. Connects the two screens, opens the secret folder he had put a password on, finds that nearly 3gb sized file (one of the ones he downloaded when he learned his dad had a meeting out of the state), and waits a few seconds for the show to start.

And then it started. A redhead twink, laying on a bed, flipping over a random comic book, only wearing the skimpiest of red speedos. He’s already so damn hard, and the muscled step-dad wasn’t even on the screen yet- oh, there he was. Bulging muscles, skin a dark-ish shade of golden, eyes clearly hungry.

That went on for nearly two hours, Peter stroking himself to the cliff but making sure to never fall in, since he wanted to enjoy as much of this as possible. He had watched all the highest quality porn he managed to download, but maybe he was in the mood for something new.

Maybe some amateur videos? Those typically had great positions. Or perhaps one of the spanking ones? He liked the whimpers from those, they did great things for him.

But then his eyes set down on something else, and his finger doesn’t take long to follow. A few seconds, and there were two men on his screen, the lighting not good enough for him to make every single detail out, but he didn’t mind. He knows very well what happens.

“Do you like that, Stark? Like a big man destroying your ass?”

That first line almost did push him down the cliff, his hand flying away from his pulsing red cock in order to avoid it; now it was becoming almost a game. That man was Steve Rogers, one of his father’s most long-lasting boyfriends, he later learned.

“Yeah, please, ruin me, sir! Fuck me until I can’t walk, please!”

That second line almost pushes him down the cliff, and his hand was still away from his pulsing red cock. That begging whore was his dad, he thought with a smirk, and his dick twitched in response.

Two videos later, his dad has two men deep in both of his holes, one with the best dirty talk of all the sextapes and the other with the longest dick he had ever seen. The moans his dad was making was unholy at best, and he knew this was going to be it - it was the last one, and he barely lasted through the one before with the long-haired one, the most brutal one who got Tony nearly in tears with his pounding.

Oh, it was coming! Oh, he was coming! This is-

“Peter, what the fuck is that?!”

Peter loves horror games, even liked the ones with the cheesy jumpscares - they got the adrenaline flowing, it was fun. But none of those ever made him jump quite as much as he did when his father’s voice came from behind him instead of from the screen.

He shoves his finger on the computer’s button so fast one would think he has superpowers, but it was clearly long past that point. “Hey, dad, you’re, um- You’re not supposed to be home.” His heart keeps drumming on his ears and brain, as he tries to cover his junk.

“What the fuck are you watching Peter? Why?! Why would you watch that, that’s-”

“I know! I know, dad, I know, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry-”

If whoever was that cold man had his father nearly in tears of pleasure, his father had him apologetically bawling on the floor. All it took was the slight tone of disgust on Tony’s voice to get him sobbing, begging for forgiveness. He was disgusting, and he knew it. All he could do is hope his dad would see how truly sorry he was, and maybe put him in a mental hospital, so those gross thoughts could go away and he could be a normal person, a normal teenager.

“Pete, don’t- don’t cry, it’s- It’s okay, it’s okay... You were just curious, that’s all, it’s okay, come here...” Oh, he was very much not just curious. That was nothing on those videos for him to be curious about anymore, he knew every detail very fucking well - but it felt so great to be hugged and apparently forgiven by his dad, he wouldn’t mind if that’s what Tony would have to believe in order to forgive him. “I just hate those videos, but you did nothing wrong, okay? I shouldn’t ever have filmed them, but that’s not on you.”

It took more ten or fifteen minutes of calming and soothing and tranquilizing for him to say anything. And, if he had his mind in place, those probably wouldn’t be his first words.

“Why do you hate them, though?” Head on his father’s lap, feet hanging off the couch in misery, it takes some seconds for him to get a response from above.

“They just don’t represent me well, I guess. Or at all, really.” There’s a good-humored tone to it, but then it gets a bit more serious. “I just... Now I just relate more to the other man, y’know?”

“You’re a top now, that’s what you’re saying?” The question is genuine, but not even Peter himself can’t help but laugh along with his dad when he realizes how simplified it was.

“I guess there’s also that, but...” The man takes a long breath, his face clearly showing he is trying to pick just the right words. “The thing is that... The things those men said to me... Now I prefer to say than to hear them. You know what I mean?”

“So... You’re a dominant, is that it?” There could have been some laughing again, since it was also apparently simplifying Tony’s answer, but the man just stared at him for a few seconds, almost admiring his words.

“Well, yeah... I didn’t know you knew what a dominant is, but yeah, that is what I mean, I guess. But also I’m just a very different person overall.”

“How do I know what I am?”

“Well...” There are butterflies in his stomach, and he tries not to think about how good his father’s thighs are as pillows. “When you watched those videos, did you like to hear what those men said? Do you, well, wish they were being said to you?” 

Cheeks turn bright red immediately. “Yeah.” It’s almost nothing, and his dad has to make a questioning sound to get a clear and louder version. “I think I did, yeah.”

“Well, that means you’re probably a submissive. But, like I said, those things can change with time. I used to enjoy those things being said to me, but now I prefer to say them. You’re too young to know for sure what you prefer, anyway, Pete.” He hopes ‘those things can change with time’ would include his taste for his own father’s sex-tapes.

“I’m really sorry, dad. I should never have watched them.”

“It’s okay, Pete, it’s okay. You’re a kid, you’re supposed to be curious about that kind of stuff. Do you... Do you have any other questions about them?”

“When was the one with uncle Bruce filmed? And who was the long-haired dude?”

“Oh, you do. Was hoping we could wrap things up. Okay, um...” He motions to Peter to get up, which he does, sitting on the couch like his father, heart beating fast.

“The one with uncle Bruce… Do you like that one?” He shyly nods, feeling even more gross, but...

But, ugh, that one was definitely his favorite one. He loved when those men called his dad the filthiest names - but that one was completely different, and so much better. Tony sets up the camera, eyes dark in lust and smirk on his lips, then turns on his back and drops to his knees and sucks Bruce dry. Once, twice, thrice, in twenty minutes. The simple image of the man adjusting his glasses while looking down to his father, shaking and trembling and whimpering for some reason, had powered many of his late-night jack offs.

His father lets out a long breath, but Peter can’t tell if it’s good or bad. The thought of ‘is he disgusted again?’ nearly brings tears to his eyes.

“Yeah, that is indeed a good one...” Like they’re talking about pizza toppings, not the man’s own sex-tapes. His dick is spasming and growing and redning, and he wonders if his father’s eyes are actually going from his face to his cock or if that’s his horny, gross imagination. “Do you know why uncle Bruce was crying like that?”

After some moments of nervous silence, he shakes his head, swallowing hard and waiting to see what his father is up to. “Do you want to find out?”

There’s another nod, but never a sound — Peter's mind is turning on itself, really. It hits him: his father, at that moment, was hitting on him. Without a doubt. And, with that question, his cock can’t get any harder. The image of him trembling and moaning while Tony works on his cock like the hungriest, meanest slut hits him like a truck, turning his cheeks bright red.

“Say it, then. Say that you want daddy to suck you off.”

Despite the request of a confirmation still in the air, his father is sliding down to his knees, and he can’t breathe for a second. He doesn’t say it, but he spreads his legs. He doesn’t say it, but he bites his lips. And then he says it, voice shaking more than uncle Bruce. “I want daddy to suck me off, please.” The ‘please’ was out of habit, and he would have laughed for it, if his father wasn’t about to give him the very first blowjob of his life.

His dick was standing nearly straight by now, hardened by his father’s words, and yet Tony’s big hand wrapped around it like it was a pencil. It was so agonizingly slow, but oh so fucking good. Up and down, up and down, always with a twist of his wrist — he wasn’t sure if he was wanting to scream in pleasure because it was someone else, or because it was his father, or really just because that technique was better than his basic quick-up-&-down-strokes-until-he-cums one. Probably all three.

Some more seconds of only masturbating, and his father’s lips were approaching his crotch. Tender kisses to his thighs, which felt both burning erotic and way too intimal (like when a whore has sex, but doesn’t kiss a client), and his father’s eyes are staring into his soul, but he doesn’t pay it much attention. He can deal with his soul later.

“Should I talk like them?” It clearly takes a few seconds for Tony to understand, and he’s scared he’s ruined the moment. “The men, on the videos?” And his father looks up to him, grinning like the devil.

“No...” A long, wet, epically slow lick to his cockhead has him squiming his hips forward for more, but his father doesn’t allow it. “But tell me, Pete, do you want daddy to make this little dick of yours warm?” Oh. That’s right. He was Tony in the videos, and Tony were those men. So he was the little whore, the cockhungry slut, and the fucking faggot — even if he was the one being sucked off. And that thought almost made him cum on the spot.

He didn’t know if Tony would wait for his confirmation this time, but he gave it immediately, nodding quickly, eyes closed in desperation and need. And so, he can’t see when his dad places his mouth around his throbbing dick, but he lets out a moan nearing a scream, and the edge is so close.

The mouth worked up and down his shaft, making lewdy, wet sounds all the way, and Peter looks to the edge he’s being pushed to. This feels so good, he doesn’t want to fall in yet. “Yeah, oh, dad…” He wasn’t required to make those noises, they come from somewhere between his very soul and his genitals.

But it doesn’t last one minute, and he’s being pushed off the edge, falling into the delicious, bright abyss, and screaming all the way down. When he opens his eyes, Tony's face is painted with his seeds, and seeing that is a thousand times hotter than watching any of those videos could ever be. In fact, one second of that blowjob was hotter than any of his thousand hours of jerking off to those videos.

“Oh, that was a lot, Pete.” He could get hard just from watching his father cleaning his hand, sucking the cum out of his fingers like it’s vanilla ice cream. Like giving his kid a blowjob is just his thursday.

“Yeah, I was, uh- I was jerking off for, like, two hours before, so, yeah, that’s why.” He wants to ask if that, the blowjob, will ever happen again (and also why dad isn’t cleaning his face), but knows he shouldn’t. This shouldn’t have happened, but he is so glad it did. “DAD, AH!”

Tony is back to sucking; and, instead of the blessing that was falling from that cliff, he’s falling from grace. It’s burning and cramping and hurting, and he is shaking and trembling and whimpering. Exactly like uncle Bruce.

“Please, dad, ah! It hurts, please!” It seems the more he tries to squirm away, the harder Tony sucks — for one second it hits that, perhaps, he is indeed sucking harder the more he struggles, perhaps he likes him to struggle, but that thought won’t make the cramps stop, so it’s of no real use for him. “Please, daaad!”

But, both as sudden as a lightning and as smooth as a cloud, the anguish leaves, and he is welcomed with another hard-on, and his hurt twitching and whimpering turns into jerking and asking for more. He now opens his eyes, but the sight of his father in his knees, looking deep into his eyes with a pulsating cock in his mouth takes all of his air away, so he closes them again.

He feels proud of passing the one minute mark, but it’s just some more minutes until the gagging sounds and the slick warmness take him down the marvelous cliff once again. There’s more of his semen on his dad’s face, but it seems like just when he's done squirting cum out, he’s falling from Mount Olympus for the second time, and it might be worse.

The cramps return with all force, drowning him in ache, all throughout his legs and his wrists and his elbows — and he can’t wait for the sweet release of sudden pleasure, but it doesn’t seem to be coming. He gives in to begging, “Dad, dad, please stop, please, ah!” And it still doesn’t come for what feels like days on end.

There’s tears falling down his cheeks, and he is grabbing the couch so hard it might break his fingers. His cock is getting hard again — but none of the sweet pleasure that came the first two times hits him, the cramps never go away. He continues to beg and cry and ask, until he comes again, and this time he realizes no more jizz really comes out. He doesn’t even open his eyes, waiting for the ache again, until his father speaks.

“Already dry, kid?” That’s when he allows himself to wake up, and is faced with the man’s face covered in his own cum. There’s quite a nice amount on his forehead and his right cheek. His nose, left cheek and goatee also have some of his liquid, and he thinks one of the eyes is red-ish, so he guesses some landed on there too. “Wanna clean me up or should I?”

He gives no response, breathing deeply from both relief and tiredness. His eyes are starting to weigh, and Tony must have taken it as a no. If he wasn’t so done with the cliffs and the edges for tonight, the sight of his father brushing his cum to his mouth and licking his lips and fingers clean of it like it’s vanilla — that would definitely get him hard. “You know why uncle Bruce was like that?”

Just a tired nod, and he’s dozing away. “You were even prettier than him...”

Just a warm smile, and he’s nearly gone. “Hope you don’t mind me recording it...”

Just a pair of closing eyes, and he’s done, but- “Maybe later I’ll explain the Bucky one to you…”

[bellamyblake]

write that fic about post mt weather bellamy having ptsd!!!!!!!!!

WARNING: This got very painful TM

He wakes up feeling as if his arms are in chains, as if something is pulling him by the neck but once he opens his eyes and bolts upright in his bed, there’s nothing there.

He still can’t take his breath, he’s shivering, his entire body shaken by violent tremors, his eyes can’t focus and his arms are numb.

He wants to scream but nothing comes out and it feels like that’s the worst of it. That he can’t let it out, none of it-he can’t scream, can’t cry, can’t do anything at all.

It has happened so many times that by now he knows the drill. 

He wakes up in the middle of the night-t-shirt drenched, hair sticking to his head, hands shooting up to grab onto something, anything that would steady him but nothing comes. 

The worst is that he is unable to move, it’s like he’s frozen in one place, his whole body feels as if struck by a lightening and yet he trembles and he can’t stop it even when he clenches his fists or tries to grab onto the bed rails.

It took him a few week to figure out that curling up on the cold floor would help get some of the control back but he would struggle to breathe for half an hour, sometimes more and once he was better, his heart would still be violently trumping in his chest for hours after.

It felt as if something was holding him and yet there wasn’t anything which made it worse because he so desperately wished to just be held.

Every time he closed his eyes, he’d see chains around his neck, someone yanking him back, spraying him with something firey and plunging something in his mouth.

He’d feel as if in hell and shake, shake, shake until his body gave up and passed out.

He was always grateful for that part.

If he fell asleep and woke again, it’d be from nightmares much different than the first ones. 

He’d be standing a top of a mountain of bodies-when he’d look down he’d see the body of a boy no older than six, with blond hair and bright brown eyes deadly staring at him, mouth agape, arms stretched, waiting for a hug from a father who’ll never come to pick him up.

When he’d look up, he’d see Maya crying, pointing at him, wondering.

“I thought you said you wanted to save people.”

The second time he was back in reality, he’d be too tired to even feel anything. He’d get up and drag himself to the common baths where he’d let the water hit his hard back until it got red from the warmth and he’d tell himself this is hell and he deserved it.

Then he’d throw himself in work, all day, every day, without a rest.

He had given his jacket to Kane, he was no longer part of the guard, didn’t care for any of it. When he was asked why, he had simply shrugged.

“I can’t protect anyone.” he’d mumbled and left the chancellor’s chambers.

He barely spoke to anyone and he’d thrown all his efforts into building cabins, hunting game or chopping woods and helping build the walls around camp that would keep them safe.

But his favorite has been plowing the ground and putting seeds, watching the plants grow-beans, wheat, corn, there was even a nice little flowery garden where the kids often found him.

He’d only smile around them now. They’d come rushing after their school lessons and sit around him while he put on peonies, daisies, roses, anything that Monty had found for him. 

They’d circle him and climb on him, ask him to braid their hairs and put flowers in them, begging him to make them flower crowns or bouquets for their mothers and fathers and he’d fulfill all their wishes.

“What’s your favorite flower, Bell-me?” once asked a boy named Han as Bellamy put a beautiful yellow chrysanthemum crown on his head.

“Hm…I like the dandelions.” he had said and a girl about ten year old called Yeka had frowned.

“Dandelions? But they’re nothing special and they get blown by the wind when the winds come.”

“That’s true”  Bellamy had agreed as he fixed the pretty daisy tucked behind her ear “They die when they are blown away but they also give so much when it happens.”

“How come?” Han asked confused and the other children kept gathering around handling Bellamy flowers for him to put into beautiful crowns. 

There was a three year old girl who’s arms were wrapped around his neck and he had pushed down the feeling of being choked by the chains of the Mountain when he felt her there, instead letting her warmth and light calm him down. 

Another boy, Gene, who was just two was sitting on his left leg and a girl Lea, about six was tugging his hand into her hair needing him to braid it for her.

“Well it seems like they’re disappearing but they are only spreading all around us, covering the valley and filling the air with their warmth so when spring comes again, they bloom and paint the world yellow all around us.”

Han and the other kids had nodded in agreement and then Lea had insisted on her braid and Gene had needed to be held.

Those were the good moments. The only good ones. When they were gone and he was left alone, with the darkness of the night settling over him, he’d lie on the grass and look up at the stars.

As he looked up at the night sky, the really dark thoughts would come and he’d find himself so fascinated by the idea of being swallowed by it, that it sometimes knocked the breath out of him as much as the bad memories did.

He’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about it. 

The nightmares were swallowing him whole, he was barely human. Sometimes he’d laugh to himself while he was taking a shower thinking about Clarke’s words and how she’d beg him to keep them safe yet all he has done was abandon them to build cabins and grow crops. 

She’d be ashamed, he knew.

But he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He went through the motions-woke up from the nightmares at night, went to work, came home, tried to sleep, woke up from the nightmares again.

He’d gotten to the point where he’d wished his heart would simply stop. So often it felt like he was suffocating that he found himself thinking he was surely dying. 

Then there were the times he was so angry at himself or when he’d need to find something tangible, that he’d shove his fist in the metal walls of his room until his knuckles bled.

One particular night he punched so hard, he heard the bones crack and he was so stunned by the sudden wash of sharp pain that made him forget all nightmares that he had punched again just to feel it and then again and again until his hand was nothing but an ugly mess.

In the morning he had walked to work and used his right one, lying that he had gotten a bad cut and tying a dirty rag to it but the pain wouldn’t go away for days.

He barely ate, barely slept and there was no one to notice it. 

His sister has left Arkadia with Lincoln just after Mount Weather, heading for the Sea Clan where they would be safe. Monty and Jasper weren’t talking, Raven tried scolding him once or twice but she had her own pain and her own problems.

He was truly alone in the world.

On the day Clarke came home, he passed out.

The events weren’t connected. He didn’t even know she was back, having spent his entire day in the western woods, chopping down trees, hoping to tire himself out to the point where he passed out in bed or his heart gave out-he knew he’d surely prefer the latter. 

Sleep meant eventually waking up, it brought no solace.

Death, on the other hand, was irreversible.

He knew there was something going on in camp where they made it back but he was so tired and so numb to everything around him, that he barely paid any attention. He slowly walked himself to his corner and he barely made it to the bed before he passed out on the floor.

He trembled, he shook, his whole being felt as if it was bursting into tiny pieces-he gasped, struggled to breathe, his hand hurt like nothing before, his heart was beating so fast, he knew it wasn’t natural.

At the back of his mind he thought about the dandelions and how they burst too, pushed by the winds, spreading through the green grass covering the ground and in that moment, he wished too that he would share the same fate.

But then he realized that if he did, there’d be only pain and suffering scattering all around. There would be only darkness and no light.

And then just when he thought he was dying, he heard the door opened. It still felt like a dream really, he truly thought that for the first time in months he wasn’t having a nightmare, but a dream-a good one. 

He’d felt someone’s hands rolling him on his back and when he’d seen Clarke’s face his eyes had softened, his mouth had almost curled up for a smile.

She was yelling something, begging someone, calling him out, shaking him but nothing truly reached him. She gripped his hand and pulled him up.

His back touched her chest and her arms sneaked around him holding him tight. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s alright, I am here. I’m here.” she had whispered in his ear “I’m here, Bellamy, you’ll be fine, I promise.” and she had said it over and over and over again until his breathing started to calm down.

“That’s right, just breathe, in and out.”she had instructed and he had followed the sound of her voice still not truly believing this was happening.

He had found the strength to put his hand over hers and squeeze it gently all the while closing his eyes, feeling himself on the brink of falling apart but for the good this time.

“Are you really here?” he had asked weakly and when he felt her body being pressed to him even harder he had released another shuddering breath.

“I’m here, I’m really here.”

He had finally let it all out then-he cried for the first time in three months. He poured down, shook and sobbed in the ugliest of ways, yelled, screamed, tossed, ran his hands through his hair, buckled in two. 

Yet she never let him go.

He felt himself scattering. But he was wrong-there wasn’t darkness all around them.

There was warmth.

The warmth of her wrapped around his body, the warmth of his heart, pouring out opening up to the world, the warmth sneaking back to his tired empty shell of a body, not at once, but it was there. 

And for the first time he really understood what it was like for the dandelion to be held by a child as they blew it away off into the world.

He was held and he was breaking apart, but he was free and he was full of light.

“You’ll be okay.” she had whispered once again “I’m here now, we’ll do it together. We’ll heal together.”

And he had leaned his messy head back to her chest and looked up, genuinely smiling, for the first time in forever.

“It’s good to have you back, princess.” he had tried to give her his signature boyish smirk but it came more as a half-smile for a half-joke. 

She returned it nonetheless as she ran her fingers through his curls.

“God, you’re still insufferable.” she had chuckled as he closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep unafraid, knowing this time he won’t be shaken by the darkness and even if he was, he wouldn’t be facing it alone. 

[a-daydreamers-stories]

~Hey guys! So I’m doing good with my promise! I’m only going to post a link to part 9 because it’s getting to way too many!~

Part 9

Reader's POV

I woke the next morning and smiled as I heard Happy's snoring in my ear. I bit my lip and tried not to think about how much I had missed that sound. I focused on how sore my body was and pushed Happy away from me.

"Hap, you're hurting me," I mumbled, he really was since he was practically laying on top of me. He blinked down at me before sitting up quickly.

"Sorry..." His voice was low and raspy from sleep.

"It's okay." I moved to lean against the pillow and awkwardly looked away from him. I had so many different emotions running through my body, hurt from Ben, anger at both of them and Tig, lust from being away from Happy so long, happiness that he was still here, and confused about what was going to happen now between us. I wasn't going to risk anything again until he told me how he felt but that was a conversation for after we dealt with Tig and see what the fuck he was playing at.

"How are you feeling?" He asked and I glanced over to see him watching me.

"I'm okay," I tried to smile at him.

"And now that, that bullshit is out of the way, how are you really feeling?" Happy chuckled.

"I'm sore, my head and ribs hurt, and I have a very long list of confusing and conflicting emotions," I admitted.

"Yeah, yesterday was a bit of a shit show." Happy nodded.

"And who's fault was that?" I glared at him.

"Hey, I'm sorry but you're mine." Happy said and I scoffed.

"Shut up and go get me a nurse for some pain meds." I waved at him to go. Happy chuckled and went out to the nurses' station, I let out a shaky breath. God, how did he always have that fucking effect on me? Those two fucking words always made me horny as shit. Happy came back with a doctor instead of a nurse and I looked at him confused as the doctor started looking me over. Happy shrugged and leaned against the doorway as the doctor wrote some things down.

"Everything is stable, you are free to go home. I'll be right back with the discharge papers." The doctor said and hurried out of the room.

"You threaten him?" I asked and Happy smirked. "Surprised he didn't piss himself."

"Almost did yesterday." Happy chuckled.

"You're insane." I laughed.

"You knew that before we started fucking." He pointed out.

"That's true, I am partially to blame." I shook my head. "So I'm going to the clubhouse now?"

"After you sign the papers and get changed. You can either wear some of my clothes which will be looser on you or some of yours that you have there." Happy said.

"You want me to wear your clothes?" I asked.

"You have been for months." Happy raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but not where everyone can see," I said.

"Babygirl..." Happy started but the doctor came back in with the papers. I signed where I had to and could feel Happy watching me. Once the doctor left, I looked over at him.

"Hap?" I cut him off as he opened his mouth. I really wasn't ready to have that conversation. "Did you actually bring me any clothes to change into?" He closed his mouth quickly and his eyes widened slightly.

"I... um..." Happy said.

"Hap, my other clothes are torn and bloody," I said and he pulled out his phone. He held up a finger before going into the hallway and talking to someone. I laughed a little bit and waited for him to come back in.

"Sack is bringing you some of my clothes and the van." Happy said.

"You brought your bike?" I laughed and he frowned.

"Shut up." He grumbled.

"How were you expecting to take me back to the clubhouse?" I asked, still laughing.

"I didn't think that far ahead." Happy admitted.

"That's very cute." I stopped laughing and smiled at him.

"Shut up." He crossed his arms over his chest. We waited in silence for Sack to get here, Happy looked to be thinking about something and I was fine with us not talking. I still had to figure out everything and I didn't want to discuss anything in this hospital. Sack came running into the room with a bag.

"Hey! Y/N! How ya feeling?" Sack smiled brightly at me as he passed me the bag.

"Seriously?" Happy smacked him upside the head. "How do you think she's feeling?"

"Happy, don't be mean." I scolded him and smiled at Sack. "I'm good, thank you for bringing me clothes."

"No problem!" He rubbed the back of his head but kept the cheery attitude.

"Here." Happy moved over to me and picked me off the bed before grabbing the bag.

"Hap!" I squeaked, my eyes wide.

"You're not going to be able to move well." He replied casually but Sack was staring at us like we had grown a 2nd head each.

"Happy! I don't need your help to walk!" I said.

"Maybe not but you will need it to get dressed." Happy answered and my jaw dropped as he walked us into the bathroom, closing the door behind us.

"What are you doing?" I whispered as he set me on the sink.

"Helping." He answered and set the bag down before reaching around me. He slowly undid the strings and my breath stopped with how close he was. My body felt way too warm and Happy's fingers brush against my skin. He gently pulled the hospital gown off my body and almost completely naked except for my underwear. His eyes scanned over my body and I jumped when he growled.

"Hap?" My voice came out ragged.

"I'm so sorry, baby girl." Happy growled and that left me even more confused until his fingers gently ran over my ribs. I looked down to find my ribcage was bruised in dark ugly marks, I grimaced and looked away from him.

"It's not your fault," I said, tightly.

"No, it's Tig's. I should have been there yesterday and because I wasn't you're hurt." Happy said and I looked back at him. What the hell was this? Has Happy been replaced by an alien?

"Happy, it could have happened if you were there or not," I said and placed my fingers under his chin, I tilted it up to make him look at me. "I'm sore but I'll live..." Happy's eyes glanced down at my lips for a second before he leaned in to kiss me. My hands automatically wrapped around his kutte as I kissed him back. My body craved him and I had been dying slightly these past few weeks without him. His hands moved to cup my face and I winced as he brushed over my bruise. He dropped his hands quickly and pulled back.

"Shit..." He mumbled and I tried to take in deep breaths to calm my racing heart.

"It's... It's okay..." I reassured him, looking down. I was worried if I looked back at him, I would pull him into another kiss. Sack would get suspicious if we were here for much longer.

"Here..." Happy pulled out one of his SAMCRO t-shirts from the bag. He gently pulled it over my head before helping me get my arms through.

"Thank you..." I said quietly as he pulled out reaper sweats. He helped me put them on before gently placing me on the floor, pulling them up the rest of the way.

"Let's go," He said and before I could move, he picked me back up.

"Hap..." I huffed and he chuckled in response. Sack was sitting in the chair and looked up when we came back into the room.

"Um... you guys ready?" He tilted his head as he looked at us.

"Yes." Happy nodded for Sack to go first. Once Sack was in front of us, I raised an eyebrow at Happy. He smirked and winked at me before following him out of the hospital to the van. Sack opened the door and Happy gently placed me in the passenger seat before buckling me up.

"I can do that!" I said trying to grab it from him.

"Too late." Happy chuckled as he buckled me in, Sack got in the driver's seat. "I'll ride behind you guys." Happy told Sack before closing the door and going over to his bike.

"What the fuck was that?" Sack asked once we were alone.

"I... I don't know," I said honestly. Sack shook his head before he started up the van and drove to TM. Sack parked close to the door so I didn't have far to go and Happy pulled into his spot before coming over. He opened my door and I unbuckled before he got the chance to do that. "I can walk you know."

"You keep saying that... does it change anything?" Happy asked.

"No..." I sighed and held my arms out.

Happy's POV

I chuckled at your actions and was about to pick you up again when I spotted Tig coming around from the back of the garage. My jaw clenched and I let out a ragged breath.

"Sack! Take her inside and if her feet touch the ground, I'll knock your teeth out too." I snarled before heading straight for Tig. Tig's looked at me and smiled

"Hey, brother. How's... " His eyes widened and he held up his hands, "Okay... okay, you have your murder face on."

"You have no idea," I growled as I moved to where we only had about a foot between us.

"Hap... Hap I know you realize what I've done but let..." I didn't give him a chance to finish and punched him in the nose. Tig stumbled back and his nose started bleeding.

"You stupid..." I landed another punch. "Son of a bitch!"

"Happy! What the hell!?" Gemma yelled as she can out of the office. I didn't pay any attention, I just kept hitting Tig over and over again. "Jax! Ope!" I felt someone grab me from behind and hold my arms back.

"Hap! Hap!" Opie said from behind me as Jax stood in between Tig and me.

"Woah! What's going on here?" Jax asked as I growled.

"He is the reason everything has been shit the last few weeks!" I yelled, very nearly getting out of Opie's grasp. Jax looked at Opie confused before holding my shoulders back and helping Opie keep me still.

"What did he do?" Opie asked.

"Happy you have to actually talk to us," Jax said sternly.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Clay yelled as he came out of the clubhouse. I looked over to see him, Bobby, and Chibs all coming out. You were still sitting in the van, watching the scene with wide eyes. Sack had paused outside your side of the van and was watching too.

"It's all a big misunderstanding!" Tig said, getting off the ground and holding his hands up. His face was bleeding from multiple places and I still had an urge to hurt him more.

"A misunderstanding!? You ruined everything! For what? To play some sick fucking game?" I snarled and Tig shook in fear.

"It wasn't a game! I just... I was worried that one of you would get hurt. I love you both and I wanted you to be together." Everyone was now looking at us confused.

"Really? So what part of your plan thought that tearing us apart was a good way to get us together?" I glared.

"Look... I thought you would talk! I didn't realize she'd just end it!" Tig stepped back.

"What the fuck are you two talking about?" Bobby asked.

"Look, it's not my place to say," Tig said to the guys who all turned to me. I glanced over at you to find your eyes were wide and your mouth hung open slightly. "And I'm not the only one to blame here."

"What?" My head turned to look at him so fast I almost got whiplash. "What do you mean?"

"Chibby was apart of the tests too!" Tig said and pointed at Chibs who held his hands up.

"Aye, ye were bein' freckin stupid; but I didn't think that stupid shite would try an' throw a fuckin' porn star at'cha." Chibs said defensively and I let out a loud growl at the mention of the porn star.

"Wait this is over the porn star Tig wanted to bang?" Jax asked, even more confused.

"Are you guys fighting over her?" Bobby asked.

"Doesn't matter what the fuck it is. These two want to fight? Fine, throw them in the cage and let them have it out." Clay said and nodded at Opie and Jax to do it. They made Tig go first and Jax stayed in between us as we walked to the fighting ring, Opie still had a hold of my arms.

Tig got into the ring first and Jax turned to look at me. I raised an eyebrow and waited for Opie to let me go. I tried to get away from him but he only held me tighter as Clay stood next to Jax.

"You can't kill him." Clay said.

"I won't," I said.

"I'm going to call Tara but you need to promise not to kill him," Jax said and I growled.

"Fine... I promise not to kill him." I grumbled and Jax moved out of the way, pulling his phone out. Opie finally released his hold on me and Clay stepped out of the way as I made my way into the ring. Removing my shirt and smirking at the scared expression on Tig's face. "Regretting your decision?"

"I've been regretting it, Hap," Tig admitted. "I didn't mean to hurt either of you."

"And that makes everything okay?" I growled, taking a step forward and Tig held his hands up to protect his face.

"No... it doesn't," Tig said and I took my first swing landing a blow to his stomach which was quickly followed by a jab to his face once his hands were down.

"Everything was good until you ruined it!" I snarled and he moved back away from another hit.

"I thought you would talk it out!" Tig yelled as went in for his own punch, I dodged and circled him.

"Can't talk when someone is so pissed they just end everything." I went in for a face hit and he blocked it with his hands. I could tell Tig was getting frustrated, probably with having to defend himself but I didn't expect the hard blow he landed to my gut.

"You could have told her how you felt!" Tig growled and I went to block as he moved to land another hit to my stomach, which had been a trick and Tig suddenly took a swing at my face, actually landing the blow. My head snapped to the side and I felt something warm slide down my chin. Bastard busted my lip open!

"Fuck you!" I snarled and leaped at him, knocking us both to the ground. We both landed blow after blow. At one point Tig had gotten the upper hand and flipped us over, delivering some hard blows. After kicking him off, we both got to our feet.

"Fucking hell! Knock it off" I turned, ready to strike Tig when you grabbed my arm.

"Get out of the ring," I growled, stepping between you and Tig in case he was ready to strike too.

"Will you two pussies fucking stop fighting?" You asked exasperated and that's when I noticed that you were by yourself. Meaning, Sack hadn't fucking helped you inside as I had told him.

"This isn't done," I growled at Tig before I moved to pick you up. You stopped me and pushed me away.

"Yes, it is!" You growled and stepped in between us. "You morons are going to kill each other if you don't stop soon."

"You need to lay down." I tried to talk softly to you, trying to reason.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking child." You snapped at me before turning around and punching Tig square in the nose hard. I smirked as I heard a crunch, knowing you broke his nose. "And you! If you ever pull that shit again. I won't just let Happy beat you to death, I'll castrate you first."

"Baby girl..." I said softly as you held onto your ribs, swaying slightly. That punch must have put some strain on them. I gently picked you up and carried you inside, ignoring the way that everybody's jaw dropped.

"Hap..." You squirmed in my hold and I smacked your ass hard, you squeaked in response.

"You've already hurt yourself enough with that punch, now quit moving." I took you to my dorm and gently set you on the bed. "You need to get some sleep now."

"Hap! Stop, you're hurt." You sat up and pulled on my arm so I was sitting on the bed next to you.

"What?" I asked, I knew Tig landed some decent blows but I wasn't in pain. Though I still had a shit ton of adrenaline running through me.

"You're bleeding..." You said softly and reached your hand up to my forehead. I hissed slightly and you pulled your fingers back, now covered in my blood. "Just sit here for a second."

"What are you doing?" I stopped you from getting off the bed.

"Just stay." You gently removed my arm and went into my bathroom. It took everything in me not to drag your ass back into bed. You came back out with the first aid kit that Gemma put in every bathroom. Instead of sitting on the bed, you stood in front of me and I raised an eyebrow at you.

"I'm fine," I told you with a slight smirk, you ignored me and started to patch me up anyways. I watched you intensely, you were concentrating hard on your task, biting your lower lip as you did.

"Hap..." Your voice came out softly but you didn't look at me, I hummed as an answer. "You know that everyone knows now right?"

"Yes," I said simply.

"And you don't care?" Your eyes finally met mine.

"No." I shook my head and my hand came up to touch yours softly.

"Why?" You pulled your hand back, stepping back and I stood up.

"You really want me to say it?" I asked, moving forward. I only stopped when I had your back pressed against the wall. Your breathing hitched and my fingers lightly trailed over your non-bruised cheek.

"Yes, I really do because if this is going to go any further than I need you to say it. I need you to tell me how you feel, I can't keep guessing. If you need to hear it first then fine... here it is, you annoy the shit out of me, you piss me off and make me want to rip my hair out. You are the most infuriating piece of shit jackass that I have ever met and fuck it all because I'm in love with you." You said and I blinked in shock. "I have spent every moment of the past 3 weeks trying to forget about you and you know what? It didn't work. Now man the fuck up and tell me how you feel, pussy."

"Fuck you." I rolled my eyes.

"Close but not quite." You smiled. "Go on."

"Fine! I fucking love you too!" I growled before claiming your lips with my own.

~Tag list~

@dolphingoddess81

@ilikechocolatemilkh

@sam-samcro

@dmagicreality

@kacilove26

@leaalfred

@slytherinqueen394

@jadert15

@simam12

@sweet--catrastrophe 

[1wngdngl]

Pokemon Shield playthrough - Part 5

Back again with another post! This one covers Route 5 and the Water Gym.

Just as I start down the route, I encounter the Cameraman/Reporter duo, who are a classic trainer pair from past games. Given that all the Gym Challenge stuff is a big spectacle in the Galar region, it makes perfect sense that Gym Challengers would get interviewed along the way.

This horde of Minccino chased after me. It was adorable.

I discovered the Pokemon breeding-grounds - or at least, the artificial version of it. This is not the same as the old “Day-Care” that could also level up Pokemon. The Nursery is solely for eggs, while Levelling up can be done with PokeJobs and the experience candies.

The people here are really nice - they gave me a free rare Pokemon!

It’s like a baby dinosaur! I believe this is also the first Poison-Electric combo we’ve had.

Since I don’t want to have duplicate types, I remove Yamper from the team. I prefer dual-types, plus this purple dinosaur looks cooler. Okay, so he starts at Level 1, and he’s pretty frail, but I can be patient.

Leaving the Nursery behind, I encounter another traditional trainer class - the Chef. He sends out food to attack me.

I also find a wild Wobbuffet - and promptly realize just how horrible its catch rate is.

I wasted every last Poke Ball on this fiend. At least he gave decent experience when I knocked his lights out.

I consoled myself by catching the weird apple creature for myself. Here’s another unique type combo - Grass and Dragon (wait, does Mega Sceptile have that typing?) It only knows a defense-raising move and the incredibly-weak Astonish, and has horrible stats all around. I’m sure it will evolve into something great, if I can figure it out. (btw, is it weird that Galar has both apples /and/ “Leppa” berries?)

I decided that my psychic-bug-cocoon wasn’t doing enough for me, so it got booted off the team.

I also got a second try at Wobbuffet ;)

This guy has a nice camping spot for himself. He never leaves. Maybe he ran away from home?

Seeing a pink puffball and an apple fight over a toy is too cute for words.

My coworker also has this game, and was kind enough to trade over this incredibly-high level Wingull. Not that I really plan to use it, but it /does/ have Pokerus. You’d think by now the nurses and professors of the Pokemon world would have learned to harness the power of Pokerus and turn it into a mandatory booster shot.

Back on track, these silly Team Yell people are blocking the bridge forward.

I get to see what my Dark-type fox /could/ have evolved into, if it were still on my team :( It looks like a proper gentleman-thief.

I love Pokemon - you save someone from getting their precious possession stolen, and as thanks, they give you their precious possession.

Too bad the outfit for it is so garish.

The blue color is a little better though.

Now that I have a bike, I can go into the Wild Area and try the Rotom Rally mini-game. It’s basically a time trial as you travel between different regions of the Wild Area. It looks like you can’t get attacked by wild Pokemon while in this Rally mode, so it’s probably the quickest way to get around (minus the flying taxi, of course).

These guys can also upgrade your bike a bit, but it’s expensive. And they don’t have the ride-on-water option either.

You know, Serebii.net says that Bunnelby doesn’t evolve until Level 20. This is an illegal Diggersby here!

Okay. Back on the bridge. Riding is so much faster than walking, but I keep stopping anyway to grab hidden items and look at the scenery. You can see the Dragon city in the background.

Another fight with my rival on the bridge. His Scorbunny has evolved, but it’s still not too tough.

In this place, Eldegoss literally float by on the wind. 

Here’s the tunnel that ducks under the train tracks. What could be on the other side?

That can wait! First, I gotta get my Pokemon sent out on more jobs. I love this logo that’s a blatant KFC rip-off.

Oh, I also discovered that you can, in fact, change the wallpaper of PC boxes. All of the choices are pretty boring, though.

Also, my coworker invited me on a raid battle with a 5-star Ditto. I have a bad feeling about this...

Scorbunny’s final form is so majestic.

None of the previous raid battles I fought had “barriers”! Is that something that only shows up in multiplayer raids?

This is it. We’ve weakened it, and now I have the chance to obtain this rare, useful, iconic Pokemon for myself...

Yeah, I failed the capture. I didn’t know they could fail. At least I got some good loot.

FINALLY, I make it to the seaside town of Hulbury. I wonder which British coastal town this is based on? For being the main port of the region, it’s not really all that big.

We encounter Chairman Rose and some of his “admirers”.

We also learn a little more about the relationship between Rose and Bede. Apparently Bede really wants to impress the Chairman, so maybe he’s not so much “working for him” as trying to gain his favor.

You know, I really don’t think he pulls off that outfit. What is it even - a mix of baseball uniform and swim trunks?

Oleana thinks she can boss me around.

I don’t owe you anything, silly person! This is /my/ Pokemon journey. And I’ll take as long as I want. ^.^

Sigh...Why can’t I just throw my coal monster at these goons to get past? My character is way too nice.

Oh, here’s another look at that elephant Pokemon that the Chairman had. It looks like it’s wearing a little hat.

Also, please be more creative when naming locations.

Here’s the “bustling market” I was told about? Must be a slow day.

We’ve got the stock “bitter medicine” booth (I never use these)...

Ah! Here’s something useful. You can bet I will use this item to maximize my earnings from every battle. I haven't seen an option to re-battle trainers yet, and those cool outfits won’t buy themselves.

I trade away for a Cottonee. You know, why don’t people in real life just trade pets with each other whenever they feel like it?

Pokemon, Pokemon...People already say your recent games are too easy, and now you’re giving me a free held item that’s super-effective against the current Gym? (Yet another sign that you should ignore Oleana and /not/ go straight to the Gym upon arrival.)

If nothing else, Hulbury is scenic. I bet the dock is covered with Wingull droppings though.

These people obviously don’t get the point of Pokemon.

With the hills overlooking the sea, I’m reminded of Los Angeles - or was it San Francisco? It’s probably a lot colder in Hulbury though.

Here’s the train station at the top of the town. Of course it can’t take me anywhere new. What if my dying grandmother lived in the next town over - would you let me get on /then/?

I never got into Pokemon’s post-game battle facilities much. I wonder what Galar will have in that department.

I go fishing in the pier, and find a few new Pokemon. That seems to confirm that what you catch is based on where you are, so there’s no rod upgrades.

Good to see that Basculin still comes in two forms. I’m guessing Sword version has the red form?

Another sneaky way to help players - hide a Chinchou in the pier. Its electric attacks would also be useful against the Water Gym.

Aha! Here’s that Pokemon we saw in the trailer, when everyone wasn’t sure if it /was/ a Pokemon or just a generic fish. Well, it is real, though it doesn’t look that useful. It actually looks like a skinnier version of red-striped Basculin.

Nope, not keeping you. I only have six slots!

Some more postcard pictures.

Here’s that weird-looking Pokemon that was also glimpsed in the trailer. Will I be able to find this in the wild?

A hidden Electric-type TM. This is why you explore and do side stuff /before/ continuing the main story.

About ready to face the Gym now. First, now that I’ve entered a new town, I have some new options for my league card.

Here’s a brief look at where I am so far.

And a preview of Nessa. That pose cannot be comfortable.

My team. I’m hoping Avery’s Electric attacks will help, even though he is a bit under-leveled...

First, the Gym puzzle. It’s not really that hard. You could probably do it completely by accident.

In the old days, we had puzzles involving sliding around on icy floors, and using the Strength HM to push boulders into the correct holes. Now /that/ was a puzzle!

I wonder if Nessa ever gets cold, wearing that?

Her Dreadnaw wasn’t a super-high level, but it was incredibly powerful.

It knocked out my Dynamaxed Pokemon, even when the Dreadnaw itself was small!

I had no choice but to pull out my starter, and fight water with water.

Turns out Nessa’s calm demeanor breaks when she faces failure.

And now it’s dusk. I still don’t get how time of day works in this game - is it just an aesthetic thing related to the story?

A change in lighting can make for totally different pictures.

I have access to a new job company. They must be a sponsor for Nessa, since she wore a pin with their logo. Does this mean we can actually encounter Wailord in the game?

I also get the Chairman’s league card. I like the way he writes his signature.

You know the drill - can’t advance with my life until I follow the plotted line into this restaurant. At least it looks fancy inside. I like the Wishi-Washi designs on the floor.

Some story stuff happens. I am completely extraneous to this conversation.

I don’t really know how I feel about the Chairman. I still think he’s probably up to no good, but he’s not the cackling-evil sort that Lusamine was. Maybe it’s actually Oleana who’s evil, and Rose is being manipulated.

This restaurant: Nice location, horrible service. The whole time I sat here - empty glasses, and no food. If I’m gonna be forced to sit and listen to some exposition, I should at least get a meal out of it. 

Okay, that’s all for now! In the next entry, I will enter this tunnel into yet another mine.

[chubsjiminiie]

Bʀᴇᴀᴋ Mʏ Hᴇᴀʀᴛ 🌙  preview pt 25

a/n: THERES A SECOND PART COMING TM AND THEN IMMA MERGE THEM AS ONE BUT I PROMISED TO POST TODAY AND I DIDNT GET TO FINISH BC I HAVE HW AND IVE BEEN BUSY W WORK BUT IM GOING TO FINISH TONIGHT ILLYYY

~тaeнyυng х reader

~ pt 25/??

~ birthday preview

~ prev ||  next

posts everyday at 9pm est

requests are open!

You giggle looking down at your phone seeing all your friends being a little dumb. Your birthday had finally arrived, usually you weren’t one for birthdays because they were just another regular day. At least that’s what they ended up feeling like since you had either school or work that took up most of your time.

Tae really put his all in celebrating your birthday this year. Buying gifts left and right; anything he thought that you’d enjoy he got. So far thing between the two of you really had gone well; it seemed things were getting somewhat serious. You spent almost every single day together, finding any free time to see each other and have little dates. Every time he was near your heart overflowed with love, you were falling in deep. It seemed, at least to you, his eyes were brighter, his smile sweeter, his touch a little warmer, and his heart a little softer.

With everyday that passed your feelings got stronger, and you were almost 100% sure you had fallen deeply, madly in love with Kim Taehyung, your best friend. It was different now though; before you tried your best to ignore what you felt because he’d never feel the same but that has changed. Now you knew his flirting and clinginess wasn’t all in your head, it was real. Jungkook, being his roommate, was constantly teasing you about stealing his boyfriend and hogging him night and day. There were times when he’d complain even when he wasn’t with you but you assumed it was him just messing with you. The others were very supportive about everything and very invested in the relationship.

For tonight though, you guys weren’t really bothering with thinking about the budding relationship. It was time to enjoy the party and get drunk out of your minds. All the boys had agreed on things to help you get prepare and were going to be at your place an hour early. They said you were going to need some help protecting your place for the destruction that was to come. Already you could see the mess that would be waiting for you tomorrow morning. Beer cans and bottles scattered everywhere. red solo cups covering every single flat surface, strange puddles of liquids on your wooden floor. Maybe you shouldn’t be celebrating your birthday with a hundred drunk college students… oh well.

The night before Taehyung had come over to give you his final present and stay the night with you. It was huge teddy bear and a bunch of balloons with a bouquet of roses. In that moment you had no idea how to react so you jumped on his and wrapped your legs around his waist. He got caught off guard so you both fell to the couch behind him and you both laugh. You felt your smile grow just thinking back on that memory and you looked up to your ceiling. After doing what you need you had come to lay down on your bed but you couldn’t calm your mind from constantly thinking of Tae. He was in your guest room changing into his outfit, he had brought two full bags of clothes to make sure he was prepared for any outfit color you chose. It was these small things he did that always made your heart swoon and jump out of your chest. They gave you hope, hope that everything would be alright if the two of you made the decision to stay together.

Some could call you ignorant for trusting a fuckboy, even if he’s your best friend. That made it worst thought because you had seen all the moves he makes to get girls or to break hearts, you knew his little games. There were girls in your classes that “warned” you about him, they said when they hooked up he was quick to leave and ignore their entire existence. They said he may be a little nicer because you were friends but at the end of the day he was Taehyung. Not going to lie this ran through your head a lot, you always wondered if he was playing games but you gave him the benefit of the doubt. He would never you thought, he cares way too much about you not just romantically but as a friend. Was he really the type to not give a fuck and hurt his own best friend knowing she’s head over heels for him?

You don’t know though, and that in itself drove you crazy. He had so much power in his hands, it was all in his next move to see what came out of everything.

You eyelids slowly began to close trying to keep away the negative thoughts that had already starting coming through. Tonight is for having fun, enjoying your birthday, celebrating you. Suddenly the empty side of you bed sunk down and a body laid next to yours. He slowly turned and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his on your chest.

“Princess, are you taking a nap before your ruin your liver tonight?” he whispered not wanting to wake you up in case you were really asleep.

“Mhm. Oppa really has good ideas about charging up before a party,” you giggle.

He chuckles at your comment and somehow cuddles closer onto you; you bring your free arms and wrap them around him pulling him even closer. You both had always had cuddling sessions and slept in the same bed together but it’s been completely different nowadays. They felt, weird, a good weird. The type of cuddles that made you want to giggle and blush and just be there forever if it was possible. As soon as you both started to get into your nap a loud bang can from the front door being swung open. Six voices filled the empty rooms at your place, their feet shuffling around trying to find where the star of the night was. Once they reached your room they saw the two of you laying holding each other and began their teasing. Jimin and Jungkook hyped it up the most jumping on the bed and falling on top of the both of you claiming they wanted cuddles too. Jin and Namjoon were hand in hand laughing from the door. Surprisingly Hobi and Yoongi were also hand in hand but their expressions were unreadable. Almost as if something was bothering them but as their eyes met yours their smiles appeared.  

“ALRIGHT MY CHILDREN LETS HEAD DOWN AND GET OUR DRINK ON!” Namjoon yelled overly excited.

“Hell yeah!” Jungkook jumped off the bed and made his way down with the rest of the guys.

Taehyung and you took a bit longer trying to unwrap yourselves and fix up the messiness that was created by the cuddles. As you made your way down, his hand found yours and intertwined your fingers. He loved being touchy, he lived for holding hands, hugging, and any type of affection. Time passed as you guys pregamed in the middle of kitchen. Each one of you complained about all the assignments that were being given in almost every major. Most of you being art majors, you enjoyed and hated big projects because you had creative control but the deadlines really killed.

Slowly more college students began arriving and started drinking. In the beginning most of them tried their best to greet you but as the night went on they completely forgot why they came in the first place. The music was blasting and shaking all the beautiful paintings and pictures on your wall but you didn’t mind. it felt good to let loose and celebrate you. The guys had stuck by your side most of the night wanting to drink as much as possible with you.

“No Jungkook stop you can’t say those things to a girl!!!” Jin scolded the youngest.

“Jin hyung. I only wanted to know if she keeps money in her bra like y/n!”

“You can’t ask so freely unless you know her!” he shook his head, “She’s going to think your a creep.”

“That’s okay,” Jungkook shrugged and his bunny teeth came out as his lips spread into a big smile.

You didn’t know how many shots you had taken but it was… a lot. Plus the guys were refilling your red solo cup right after you finished, it felt like you were floating at this point. Taehyung had drank just as much as you taking every shot you took filling his cup just as much as yours got filled. He was gone. You were a bit surprise to find out he was even more touchy as a drunk. He turned to face you and brought you into a hug, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head rested on your shoulder. You were leaning against a wall in your house as the rest of the group circled around you. His soft lips began to peck your shoulder sweetly, he moved up a bit and started kissing your jaw. Your knees felt weak as he got closer to your ear.

His raspy voice whispered, “You’re so beautiful y/n.”

“Thank you,” you spoke back softly not really knowing what to do.

His lips continued to leave trails of kisses along your neck and shoulders until he finally reached your lips. He only gave you a small peck and let go of you.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you all day long but I haven’t had the balls to,” he chuckles as he bends down speaking into your ear, “I almost forgot to tell you. I have one last present to give you. But it’s for when were both alone.”

You’re eyebrows knitted together and your head tilted to the side, “Birthday sex?” you asked teasing him jokingly.

“I mean if you’re down…” you playfully smack his arm, “No baby, its something more special. I can give you birthday sex after that if were sober enough,” he winked.

You both laughed at each other and he pulled you into his arms. This time he was leaning against the wall and your back was pressed to his chest. His head rested on the top of your head and his arms were on your shoulders. You held his hand, and watched your friends get wasted and start talking complete nonsense. Feeling in the mood to move around and take out all the energy the alcohol had given you, you drag Tae out to dance with you. Your dancing wasn’t much of anything, a couple of the guys gave you thumbs up or would make kissing faces at you. You were too out of it to feel Tae’s phone vibrate in his pocket but he noticed.

He pulled his phone out and looked down at who had texted him. He felt his  body cringe just looking at the name written on the screen while he was having a moment with you. The text read, “Where are you?”, there were 3 dots indicating she was typing. He didn’t want to but he couldn’t help it. He excused himself and went into the bathroom to text back the girl who had just texted him.

[hillaryisaboss]

8/25/2016: Hillary was the first to call out Trump's racist history and dog whistling to racists.

This speech should be required viewing. Required reading. The woman who got 3 million more votes called it. She was 100% right. She had the crystal ball. If only a few more of us had listened.

This speech needs to be burned into our memories forever:

"After all, it’s hard to believe anyone – let alone a nominee for President of the United States – could really believe all the things he says.

But the hard truth is, there’s no other Donald Trump. This is it.

Maya Angelou once said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Well, throughout his career and this campaign, Donald Trump has shown us exactly who he is. We should believe him."

~Hillary Rodham Clinton; 8/25/2016

She warned us.

"Everywhere I go, people tell me how concerned they are by the divisive rhetoric coming from my opponent in this election.

It’s like nothing we’ve heard before from a nominee for President of the United States.

From the start, Donald Trump has built his campaign on prejudice and paranoia.

He’s taking hate groups mainstream and helping a radical fringe take over one of America’s two major political parties.

His disregard for the values that make our country great is profoundly dangerous.

...

It takes a lot of nerve to ask people he’s ignored and mistreated for decades, “What do you have to lose?” The answer is everything!

Trump’s lack of knowledge or experience or solutions would be bad enough.

But what he’s doing here is more sinister.

Trump is reinforcing harmful stereotypes and offering a dog whistle to his most hateful supporters.

It’s a disturbing preview of what kind of President he’d be.

This is what I want to make clear today:

A man with a long history of racial discrimination, who traffics in dark conspiracy theories drawn from the pages of supermarket tabloids and the far reaches of the internet, should never run our government or command our military.

If he doesn’t respect all Americans, how can he serve all Americans?

Now, I know some people still want to give Trump the benefit of the doubt.

They hope that he will eventually reinvent himself – that there’s a kinder, gentler, more responsible Donald Trump waiting in the wings somewhere.

After all, it’s hard to believe anyone – let alone a nominee for President of the United States – could really believe all the things he says.

But the hard truth is, there’s no other Donald Trump. This is it.

Maya Angelou once said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Well, throughout his career and this campaign, Donald Trump has shown us exactly who he is. We should believe him.

When Trump was getting his start in business, he was sued by the Justice Department for refusing to rent apartments to black and Latino tenants.

Their applications would be marked with a “C” – “C” for “colored” – and then rejected.

Three years later, the Justice Department took Trump back to court because he hadn’t changed.

The pattern continued through the decades.

State regulators fined one of Trump’s casinos for repeatedly removing black dealers from the floor. No wonder the turn-over rate for his minority employees was way above average.

And let’s not forget Trump first gained political prominence leading the charge for the so-called “Birthers.”

He promoted the racist lie that President Obama isn’t really an American citizen – part of a sustained effort to delegitimize America’s first black President.

In 2015, Trump launched his own campaign for President with another racist lie. He described Mexican immigrants as rapists and criminals.

And he accused the Mexican government of actively sending them across the border. None of that is true.

Oh, and by the way, Mexico’s not paying for his wall either.

If it ever gets built, you can be sure that American taxpayers will be stuck with the bill.

Since then, there’s been a steady stream of bigotry.

We all remember when Trump said a distinguished federal judge born in Indiana couldn’t be trusted to do his job because, quote, “He’s a Mexican.”

Think about that.

The man who today is the standard bearer of the Republican Party said a federal judge was incapable of doing his job solely because of his heritage.

Even the Republican Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, described that as “the textbook definition of a racist comment.”

To this day, he’s never apologized to Judge Curiel.

But for Trump, that’s just par for the course.

This is someone who retweets white supremacists online, like the user who goes by the name “white-genocide-TM.” Trump took this fringe bigot with a few dozen followers and spread his message to 11 million people.

His campaign famously posted an anti-Semitic image – a Star of David imposed over a sea of dollar bills �� that first appeared on a white supremacist website.

The Trump campaign also selected a prominent white nationalist leader as a delegate in California. They only dropped him under pressure.

When asked in a nationally televised interview whether he would disavow the support of David Duke, a former leader of the Ku Klux Klan, Trump wouldn’t do it. Only later, again under mounting pressure, did he backtrack.

And when Trump was asked about anti-Semitic slurs and death threats coming from his supporters, he refused to condemn them.

Through it all, he has continued pushing discredited conspiracy theories with racist undertones.

Trump said thousands of American Muslims in New Jersey cheered the 9/11 attacks. They didn’t.

He suggested that Ted Cruz’s father was involved in the Kennedy assassination. Perhaps in Trump’s mind, because he was a Cuban immigrant, he must have had something to do with it. Of course there’s absolutely no evidence of that.

Just recently, Trump claimed President Obama founded ISIS. And then he repeated that nonsense over and over.

His latest paranoid fever dream is about my health. All I can say is, Donald, dream on.

This is what happens when you treat the National Enquirer like Gospel.

It’s what happens when you listen to the radio host Alex Jones, who claims that 9/11 and the Oklahoma City bombings were inside jobs. He said the victims of the Sandy Hook massacre were child actors and no one was actually killed there.

Trump didn’t challenge those lies. He went on Jones’ show and said: “Your reputation is amazing. I will not let you down.”

This man wants to be President of the United States.

I’ve stood by President Obama’s side as he made the toughest decisions a Commander-in-Chief ever has to make.

In times of crisis, our country depends on steady leadership… clear thinking… and calm judgment… because one wrong move can mean the difference between life and death.

The last thing we need in the Situation Room is a loose cannon who can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction, and who buys so easily into racially-tinged rumors.

Someone detached from reality should never be in charge of making decisions that are as real as they come.

It’s another reason why Donald Trump is simply temperamentally unfit to be President of the United States.

Now, some people will say that his bluster and bigotry is just over-heated campaign rhetoric – an outrageous person saying outrageous things for attention.

But look at the policies Trump has proposed. They would put prejudice into practice.

And don’t be distracted by his latest attempts to muddy the waters.

He may have some new people putting new words in his mouth… but we know where he stands.

He would form a deportation force to round up millions of immigrants and kick them out of the country.

He’d abolish the bedrock constitutional principle that says if you’re born in the United States, you’re an American citizen. He says that children born in America to undocumented parents are, quote, “anchor babies” and should be deported.

Millions of them.

And he’d ban Muslims around the world – 1.5 billion men, women, and children –from entering our country just because of their religion.

Think about that for a minute. How would it actually work? People landing in U.S. airports would line up to get their passports stamped, just like they do now.

But in Trump’s America, when they step up to the counter, the immigration officer would ask every single person, “What is your religion?”

And then what?

What if someone says, “I’m a Christian,” but the agent doesn’t believe them.

Do they have to prove it? How would they do that?

Ever since the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock, America has distinguished itself as a haven for people fleeing religious persecution.

Under Donald Trump, America would distinguish itself as the only country in the world to impose a religious test at the border.

Come to think of it, there actually may be one place that does that. It’s the so-called Islamic State. The territory ISIS controls. It would be a cruel irony if America followed its lead.

Don’t worry, some will say, as President, Trump will be surrounded by smart advisors who will rein in his worst impulses.

So when a tweet gets under his skin and he wants to retaliate with a cruise missile, maybe cooler heads will be there to convince him not to.

Maybe.

But look at who he’s put in charge of his campaign.

Trump likes to say he only hires the “best people.” But he’s had to fire so many campaign managers it’s like an episode of the Apprentice.

The latest shake-up was designed to – quote – “Let Trump be Trump.” To do that, he hired Stephen Bannon, the head of a right-wing website called Breitbart.com, as campaign CEO.

To give you a flavor of his work, here are a few headlines they’ve published:

“Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy.”

“Would You Rather Your Child Had Feminism or Cancer?”

“Gabby Giffords: The Gun Control Movement’s Human Shield”

“Hoist It High And Proud: The Confederate Flag Proclaims A Glorious Heritage.”

That one came shortly after the Charleston massacre, when Democrats and Republicans alike were doing everything they could to heal racial divides. Breitbart tried to enflame them further.

Just imagine – Donald Trump reading that and thinking: “this is what I need more of in my campaign.”

Bannon has nasty things to say about pretty much everyone.

This spring, he railed against Paul Ryan for, quote “rubbing his social-justice Catholicism in my nose every second.”

No wonder he’s gone to work for Trump – the only Presidential candidate ever to get into a public feud with the Pope.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate groups, Breitbart embraces “ideas on the extremist fringe of the conservative right. Racist ideas.

Race-baiting ideas. Anti-Muslim and anti-Immigrant ideas –– all key tenets making up an emerging racist ideology known as the ‘Alt-Right.’”

Alt-Right is short for “Alternative Right.”

The Wall Street Journal describes it as a loosely organized movement, mostly online, that “rejects mainstream conservatism, promotes nationalism and views immigration and multiculturalism as threats to white identity.”

The de facto merger between Breitbart and the Trump Campaign represents a landmark achievement for the “Alt-Right.” A fringe element has effectively taken over the Republican Party.

This is part of a broader story -- the rising tide of hardline, right-wing nationalism around the world.

Just yesterday, one of Britain’s most prominent right-wing leaders, Nigel Farage, who stoked anti-immigrant sentiments to win the referendum on leaving the European Union, campaigned with Donald Trump in Mississippi.

Farage has called for a ban on the children of legal immigrants from public schools and health services, has said women are quote “worth less” than men, and supports scrapping laws that prevent employers from discriminating based on race -- that’s who Trump wants by his side.

The godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism is Russian President Vladimir Putin.

In fact, Farage has appeared regularly on Russian propaganda programs.

Now he’s standing on the same stage as the Republican nominee.

Trump himself heaps praise on Putin and embrace pro-Russian policies.

He talks casually of abandoning our NATO allies, recognizing Russia’s annexation of Crimea, and of giving the Kremlin a free hand in Eastern Europe more generally.

American presidents from Truman to Reagan have rejected the kind of approach Trump is taking on Russia.

We should, too.

All of this adds up to something we’ve never seen before.

Of course there’s always been a paranoid fringe in our politics, steeped in racial resentment. But it’s never had the nominee of a major party stoking it, encouraging it, and giving it a national megaphone. Until now.

On David Duke’s radio show the other day, the mood was jubilant.

“We appear to have taken over the Republican Party,” one white supremacist said.

Duke laughed. There’s still more work to do, he said.

No one should have any illusions about what’s really going on here. The names may have changed… Racists now call themselves “racialists.” White supremacists now call themselves “white nationalists.” The paranoid fringe now calls itself “alt-right.” But the hate burns just as bright.

And now Trump is trying to rebrand himself as well. Don’t be fooled.

There’s an old Mexican proverb that says “Tell me with whom you walk, and I will tell you who you are.”

We know who Trump is. A few words on a teleprompter won’t change that.

He says he wants to “make America great again,” but his real message remains “Make America hate again.”

This isn’t just about one election. It’s about who we are as a nation.

It’s about the kind of example we want to set for our children and grandchildren.

Next time you watch Donald Trump rant on television, think about all the kids listening across our country. They hear a lot more than we think.

Parents and teachers are already worried about what they’re calling the “Trump Effect.”

Bullying and harassment are on the rise in our schools, especially targeting students of color, Muslims, and immigrants.

At a recent high school basketball game in Indiana, white students held up Trump signs and taunted Latino players on the opposing team with chants of “Build the wall!” and “Speak English.”

After a similar incident in Iowa, one frustrated school principal said, “They see it in a presidential campaign and now it's OK for everyone to say this.”

We wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior in our own homes. How can we stand for it from a candidate for president?

This is a moment of reckoning for every Republican dismayed that the Party of Lincoln has become the Party of Trump. It’s a moment of reckoning for all of us who love our country and believe that America is better than this.

Twenty years ago, when Bob Dole accepted the Republican nomination, he pointed to the exits and told any racists in the Party to get out.

The week after 9/11, George W. Bush went to a mosque and declared for everyone to hear that Muslims “love America just as much as I do.”

In 2008, John McCain told his own supporters they were wrong about the man he was trying to defeat. Senator McCain made sure they knew – Barack Obama is an American citizen and “a decent person.”

We need that kind of leadership again.

Every day, more Americans are standing up and saying “enough is enough” – including a lot of Republicans. I’m honored to have their support.

And I promise you this: with your help, I will be a President for Democrats, Republicans, and Independents. For those who vote for me and those who don't.

For all Americans.

Because I believe we are stronger together.

It’s a vision for the future rooted in our values and reflected in a rising generation of young people who are the most open, diverse, and connected we’ve ever seen.

Just look at our fabulous Olympic team.

Like Ibtihaj Muhammad, an African-American Muslim from New Jersey who won the bronze medal in fencing with grace and skill. Would she even have a place in Donald Trump’s America?

When I was growing up, Simone Manuel wouldn’t have been allowed to swim in the same public pool as Katie Ledecky. Now they’re winning Olympic medals as teammates.

So let’s keep moving forward together.

Let’s stand up against prejudice and paranoia.

Let’s prove once again, that America is great because is America is good.

Thank you, and may God bless the United States."

~Hillary Rodham Clinton; 8/25/2016

The woman who warned us.

Trump is a con-man propaganda artist:

Never Normalize Trump.

#strongertogether

[madnadidraw]

Parents/Caregivers Take Note:

It is currently 12:15 AM at the time of me beginning to write this. 

The night before this post, I tried to make a text after 11 PM  (it was at 11:10 PM to be exact) and found that my phone would not send the text. I then received a text from my cellular service provider (CSP) stating that “Your phone has been restricted by the account owner. You cannot send messages until the time of day restriction ends”. The very first thing I did was screenshot it, send it to my mom (because I knew it was her that had done this), and asked if she was serious, and why? She was hoping it would help me go to bed sooner, but added that she had started it as of a week or so ago. I replied that this could only hurt my situation.

Why? Because I stay up until very late, the absolute earliest I go to bed is 2 AM and that is rare. I usually end up falling asleep at 4 AM, or I don’t sleep at all. Why? Because I have chronic nightmares that leave me waking up unable to get out of bed in time for school. Why? Because I have been through traumatic experiences, and every time I dream I relive those experiences. Just mentioning my dreams is breaking me close to a breakdown, but this post is important.

My mom is aware of all of the above information 

Turning off my texting and calling abilities only meant I could not reach out to any type of mental health professionals (specifically the ones I use), usually not something I’d need, but important in a crisis. Here’s where we get to the important bit, crises. Catastrophic breakdowns. Ones that greatly inhibit my ability to do much of anything, or at least specific tasks.

It is currently 12:27 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 12 minutes.

At 11:04pm I open up Snapchat, the app I use to message everybody I am relatively close to, excluding family, to respond to a text from my partner. It does not go through. I try again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. I try all kinds of social media again, and again and again. And Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. No. Thing. At all. I am locked out. Now. Now I’m in crisis. For the past hour and a half I have been riding the waves of “IM HAVING A BREAKDOWN” and “I cannot shut down I have work to do”. I have done nothing but cope for the past hour and a half, yet I am still trying to do work before I fall asleep. I am currently on my desktop, rather than a mobile device in bed, to avoid falling asleep. 

It is currently 12:36 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 21 minutes. 

Why? Because I have a test tomorrow, a test which I have to teach myself content for due to extreme amounts of absences. A test I cannot afford to get any less than an A on, as grades close quite soon for this quarter. A quarter I cannot afford to fail (or receive less than an A on), because then I’ll be stressed for all of next quarter, because this is the only AP level or college level course that I have had an A in this year, all year. An A I promised myself I would get, because last year I constantly rode the line of a high C and a low B. I ended up getting a C first semester, and a B second semester. The C was a result of my traumatic experiences, and I promised I wouldn’t let that affect my math grade ever again, because math has always been one of my strongest classes. One of the strongest reasons I had been admitted to my dream school. Failing this test? Not an option. So, since I got home from school, finished dinner, and grounded and isolated myself (7 PM) I had been working on studying for this test. That’s four straight hours of studying, which is extremely abnormal, as I rarely do any assignments, much less studying. But at 11:04 PM that all stopped. Everything stopped. I shut down. I focused on grounding, coping, and recovering. I had had a terrible day, all day. 

It is currently 12:47 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 32 minutes.

Why? I had gone to bed early. So I had a nightmare. So I was uncomfortable from the start, I was ashamed, paranoid, triggered, scared, and I hated every inch of my body, but I didn’t want to be late again to first period. So I forced myself to make this a good day. It was a Wednesday. We had Friday off (Good Friday). I could get through this day. I didn’t have the ability to attend the partial hospitalization program (PHP) I attend to treat my PTSD today, because of an appointment I had been planning for months (well before I knew I would be in PHP). But I knew I would be there tomorrow, and although I usually leave school at 12:45 PM, my appointment would have me relatively excited, so it felt as though it would balance out. It didn’t.

It is currently 12:55 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 40 minutes.

 Assembly for seniors which pertains to the big class events, mainly Senior Prom. My friends decide to sit directly in front of The Jocks TM, people I just generally don’t get along with, but I followed because I can handle myself. Or I thought so. A group of The Jocks TM decided to boo when our principal came out to speak about senior prom. I needed as much info as possible, because I am bringing my partner to senior prom, and they attend a different school. So I am already anxious and nervous, but they’re making it worse because I can’t listen and get the info I need. And then he mentions the breathalyzers, a mandatory part of just about every prom across my state. And they boo. They’re yelling, so much so that the principal has to pause and wait. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but now I’m worried about senior prom. Now I’m worried they’re going to do their best to get absolutely wasted and I do NOT want to bring my partner into that environment. Not because I’m possessive and want to shelter them, but because prom is an expensive event that I invited them to specifically so that we could enjoy it together, even though it was expensive. I haven’t even made it to my second period yet, and my paranoia is already through the roof.

It is currently 1:04 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 49 minutes.

Second period flows, I speak to some people, I calm down a bit. Then third period hits. Third period is my math class. The teacher would be out, so it was essentially a study hall. I was hoping to use it to catch up/study, but instead I’m discussing the assembly and senior prom with kids I know might have info, some, any, a fucking word idgaf, about what to expect after our principal announced the breathalyzers, I mentioned how I was bringing my partner and they attend a different school, and I didn’t want them to have that as their one and only experience with my school. Nothing. Not an ounce of anything remotely helpful. I’ve already used just about all of this period to discuss senior prom, so I decide to focus on catch up work. Nope. Not happening. Instead a group of kids sitting directly next to me start talking about a trans-girl I know, and they are saying ignorant things. Based on the conversation, I can rationally deduce they weren't being transphobic/homophobic, they just aren’t up to date with the language. But as a now extremely paranoid gay woman, hearing something remotely anti-LGBT put me into an even greater state of paranoia, and fear, because I am openly gay and they are discussing this right next to me. Finally the period ends, and I can relax into one of the two lunch periods I have (because I have a heavily reduced schedule to help cope with stress and trauma, both of which are heavily tied to the school building itself). I get through that, enter my fifth period class, acting, and finally get to my second lunch, sixth period. Sixth period I go to see my guidance counselor to continue discussing what can be done about AP physics, the class I have next period (two on lab days). The class I am currently failing. The main stressor out of all my classes. She says my dream school, the one I will attend in the fall, has not gotten back to her about dropping it/taking it as a pass fail. 

It is currently 1:20 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for over an hour now. I have not left the room, gotten a drink, gotten a snack, or even stood up out of my chair in the since 11:04 PM.

No big deal, I’ll just tell my physics teacher what’s goi- “Nadia the test you were supposed to make up Friday, but haven’t been able to yet? I want you to take it now. I figured you might as well get it out of the way considering you have this period and next to work on it” 

It is currently 1:25 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for 70 minutes.

Oh. Can I check my phone real quick?

Sure.

+4 new emails to your school email!

*Opens*

(From my guidance counselor): Nadia [dream school] just called, please come see me

Hey uhhhh, my guidance counselor wants to see me RIGHT now.

Really? That’s odd. I’ll call her, you get started on the test.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

I filled in random answers on the multiple choice, skipped the open ended questions, and made it look like I was working on it until the end of eighth period. I cover up the blank spaces where writing should be with the multiple choice packet, hand it into the teacher of the room I was randomly thrown into, and book it to my counselor’s office to catch her before my appointment.

It is currently 1:29 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but hold back tears, ground myself, and write this post for the past 84 minutes.

They said you can’t drop it if you want to be certain you’ll be there in the fall, they want to see you get a C or above in the.....

That’s it.

That’s the last piece.

I’m broken.

Since 11:04 PM I have done nothing but try to ground myself and cope with the fact that I lost my connection to almost everything. That I will continue to lose this connection every night at 11:00 PM. That I will lose any and all electronic based or assisted coping mechanisms I may have, until after I wake up. It is currently 1:33 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 89 minutes, and I have been trying to cope and ground myself for roughly two and a half hours (149 minutes).

So. Let’s recap

I have had a bad day.

After my appointment I got home and began studying for my test at 7 PM

At 11:04 PM I had a break down, and have been trying to cope and ground myself since. 

I have not finished studying yet, and I intend to stay up, rather than try to sleep earlier, to finish doing so.

The test I was and will be studying for, whether this is true or not, feel as though it will decide where I spend the next year of my life.

Now for the obvious question:

How could this have been avoided?

Am I asking for my mom to not have turned off service for my phone? No. She had already turned off texting, this was the obvious next step.

Now my answer, my main take away for parents and caregivers.

Talk to your kids.

Talk to your kids about punishments you intend to use, whether they’ve done something wrong or not, so that you can be sure it won’t break them.

Talk to your kids. 

Talk to your kids about what you expect from them, ask them to honestly tell you what their limits are, even if they conflict with these expectations.

But most of all.

Talk to your kids.

Talk to your kids when you’re trying to help them, make sure your proposed solution or support does not end up hurting them. If my mom had told me about this, even at 10:59 PM, a minute before it would take place, this break down could have been avoided.

RECOGNIZE THAT YOU DO NOT ALWAYS KNOW BEST

Parents and caregivers; if you expect your kids (or those receiving your care) to trust you? To respect you? To be honest with you? 

TRUST THEM FIRST

If you always assume that you and you alone know what’s best for your kids, that you alone know how to best support them and reprimand them. 

You need to recognize that kids are still people and can speak for themselves.

I am 18 years old, I am not asking you to start talking to your one month old as if they are in high school. I am asking you to give us the respect that you think you deserve. The fact that...

...It is currently 1:46 AM (14 minutes before the earliest time I fall asleep) as I am writing this time-log, I have been trying to cope and ground myself for 162 minutes, and working on this post for 102 minutes...

...should be message enough that assuming you know best, does not work.

[shrbrt-blog1]

Slaves and Secrets at The Loving Touch in Ferndale, Michigan

Tuesday, September 19th, Stacie and I made our way out to Ferndale to check out the Slaves and Secrets tour. While I may have taken way too long to get ready, I blame the dabs. We made it there just in time to watch the last two bands. Both were plagued by delayed sets due to technical difficulties that seemed to be all on the venue's staff. It's not to say that things didn't get fucking wild because they did. I'm just saying when you push sets back and give musicians time to drink and party, more than they definitely need to, then you should expect what happened as normalcy. 

Secrets were great. I had a really fun time shooting their set and was stoked to see Slaves up next. Of course, more technical difficulties delayed the Slaves set. I was right up front for the whole set. I saw the line of shots for the band and the one for Jonny. He continued to ignore his side stage comrades pleading with him to drink water and did another shot. Now what happened next is more of a fluke than anything. Jonny ran up to the front center of the stage and I could tell he expected the monitor to be permanently in place. It wasn't.

So there went Jonny Craig into the crowd and it did not look fun or entertaining, it looked fucking painful. No one was expecting it not even him. See the angle on the one twitter video that circulated all the dweeby music blogs the days after the show only show him go in and stand up and choke a guy.

Shout out to those websites, by the way, they make me feel better about the work I put in to get these gigs on my own. I don't have a money backer or investor. I don't have an editor or even a 2nd person involved with the content creation. So I fucking laugh my ass off every time I go to a show that ends up having a Twitter or Instagram video go viral via these websites. Instead of sending their own journalists and doing actual work they just go on twitter and use the twitter search bar. No shame in shitty hustle, but it's still weak as fuck to me. That's their way of doing things, it's just not mine.  If you ever see me post a video from someone's cell phone it will be from my phone or the person I am at the shows with, whether that be Stacie or one of my friends. Otherwise, that shit is a fucking REPOST, NOT A GOD DAMN FEATURE or BREAKING MUSIC NEWS! So Jonny stands up and chokes a guy in the crowd, the video showed it to be way more violent than what it was. At the same time the first couple songs a guy kept screaming "Play that Emarosa song!" I mean.. come on. People are so fucking lame. All I know is Jonny's fans have a thing with having him choke them. His persona and reputation proceeded itself that night. It wasn't rare form, it was exactly what I expected to happen. I wasn't surprised by any of it. I saw how much he drank in a short span, I knew he was going to get too fucked up. I'm a recovering alcoholic trust me, I knew what was going to happen next... The show got cut short by 4-5 songs? Jonny walked off stage before Colin demanded the TM to get him back on stage and finish the set. He did eventually. At that point, I was packing my gear up in the bag and Stacie started yelling to look behind the stage. At that time I turned and saw Colin and Jonny going at it for a quick few seconds.   

WHY WASN'T THIS ON FUCKING TWITTER?

Because no one actually does their fucking homework. Again, they just go on twitter and search bands that they think cause drama. So who is to blame? A singer who still can't figure out how to drink responsibly, or a group of journalists who sensationalize an alcoholic's battle with road life? I love that this is going to be hidden on my page for a while. Maybe one day more people will know about it. A bass player punching a singer isn't rare, the idea that these websites think that, actually makes me laugh kinda like Ron Swanson. Bands throw down regularly when booze or drugs or both are involved. I don't think any drugs were used that night besides booze and probably some Michigan Medical Marijuana. You're talking about a band of musicians here not coworkers at a law firm, you have to have that familial love or when shit like this happens it brings on the end like it did last year. Obviously, they worked some shit out to keep going through the antics and shit that seems to follow them around. Let's not forget this is the band who got attacked with knives for wearing skinny jeans. Anything more than cracking a joke about someone's fashion is unnecessary. We all later found out it was an anti-gay attack.  I am of no influence but I will say this, drink less and smoke way more weed. Calm the fuck down. You could be struggling like us dickwads who cover your shit. The world is yours to lose, I don't understand what the issue is here. I love the music and obviously, you guys do too. So get right and do the damn thing properly and take it to the next level. It's fucking worth it. Then again what do I know? I haven't had any real success as a musician. Do what you're going to do, we will still be here to talk about it.

Stacie thought for sure the band would be done, I laughed knowing that wasn't going to happen over that shit, as we walked to the car eagerly to go home and smoke weed before crashing sometime pretty late, I realized I actually love covering shows with a camera and words than I do playing them. So no matter what, Jonny got me to solidify that what I was doing with my life is better than what I was doing a year ago. 

I woke up the next morning to see posts from a bunch of music sites and I just waited for an actual account from someone who saw everything. It never came, IT NEVER CAME! Instead, they just reported about how he fell off the stage and choked a fan. Which is fine, but without context, he looks a lot worse than he should be portrayed for THIS night. If you want to be a dick about the guy for other shit go ahead, I just think he had an off night with way too much downtime and booze. Then again people don't research, they see headlines and immediately form opinions they will go to hell and back for. That to me is fucking absurd. I think we love to build talented people up but there is nothing better than seeing them fall. So there's a ton of people who are fed up with that kind of behavior. And well, if the door guy wasn't nice to me and let me in any way, I would have turned around and gone back Downriver. Since they forgot to put a dude on the guest list, the only thing that would have come from that night would have been one lonely twitter video. Instead, there are over 100 photos for you guys. Thanks. Shoutout to the bands for making it incredibly eventual and entertaining. Might not have gotten to hear "I'd Rather See Your Star Explode" but that's fine. If you share or re-post photos, please give the artists, Shrbrt.com, and myself credit.   

[thclcstgirl]

And holy crap what a year it’s been!

Fox’s One Year Anniversary, July 14th

Many of you don’t know this, but I actually did not think about Fox at all when I first watched The 100. Didn’t even think about her except as the girl that hugged Bellamy. Didn’t even realize it was the same girl that later died ( super pointlessly and without any explanation but that’s a rant for another day ;) ) to be perfectly honest. She was some random background character to me just like she was to everyone.

And then I started playing her (thanks to my preference for playing half or barely developed characters so I can make them my own) and started really thinking about this sadly underdeveloped character and HOLY CRAP GUYS. My sweet lil Fox has become so fucking important to me as both a character that helps my get through writing lulls with my career and as someone who has led me to so many important people in my life, writing partners and friends and best friends and people that laugh and cry with me over these silly fictional characters that mean so much to all of us.

I’m so thrilled to have lasted a year ( my first time on any character lasting this long! ) and so honored to say that it’s thanks to my partners on here, old and new alike, that my love and my ability to write my beautiful mistreated daughter that I’ve lasted as long as I have.

NOW ONTO THE FLUFF. Because I think we all need it after some of those gifs ;)

My best friend;

@headstrongblake: Ashley like. What do I even say. Like do I wax poetic about how amazing our girls are? Or how Fox admires Octavia only slightly less than I admire you? Or maybe mention that you’re one of the main reasons I came back after my two month disappearing act? Or maybe about how much I value that we can talk every day and never get tired of each other or how we understand that sometimes a day is just bad and we need to hide from the world and that’s cool because we know the other will be there when we’re ready to rejoin the world? Do I mention how you’ve become more like a sister to me than a friend?

No. Because FUCK THAT SAPPY SHIT. I’M HERE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU MORE SO THERE. *MIC DROP*

My most valued advisors and all time favs;;

@faultedleader - Fuck, Heather, like, we’ve been together since the very beginning. I was so intimidated by you because you and Ashley had these beautiful things going on and you were so wonderful and so eloquent and I’m sitting here with my smol daughter like ‘I wonder if she’ll like the connection between Fox and Bellamy or be annoyed and think I’m expecting too much because of it’. LOOK HOW FAR WE’VE COME. From admiring you with lil fox eyes hiding in my den to yelling at each other over vast amounts of heartbreak ( and every now and then some fluff. to worsen the heartbreak bwa ha ha ) that we cause each other. I never thought I could love someone who made me cry as often as you do, but here we are and I wouldn’t change a thing. *lifts glass* Here’s to another wonderful year together!

@crimiinalchemiist - MY FIRST BABE. My only true Jasper, my main babe and major love. You ( and I don’t know how tf because I’m trash and you’re wonderful ) have been with me even before the beginning of my journey here. Without you, I wouldn’t even BE here. You’re the one that started the group that introduced my to my girl, the one that introduced me to indie at all, the one that suffered 1001 questions as I tried to navigate this weird and wonderful and dramatic world of indie roleplaying. Fox LITERALLY wouldn’t exist in the sense that she does for me and my partners *winks winks nudges nudges at you* if it wasn’t for you, and I can never repay you for that. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you.

@trueheda - Do you ever have a person that just immediately triggers that “QualityTM” reaction in you whenever their name or their blogs come up? Kai had been that for me since I very first started reading his writing tbh, and I’ve never stopped thinking it. Kai is that person that I’m still semi-intimidated by even though we’re friends and we’ve got darling plots going on ( we’re not gonna talk about Fox’s strange infatuation with your murder son oops ) because he’s just so. fucking. quality. Like how can you now just be constant awe of someone with Kai’s skill?? ( the answer is you cannot, btw ) But I am so happy that Kai apparently deems me friend enough and quality enough to play against his amazing babes, and this thrills me to no end tbh.

@nctyourplaything - MY SWEET GIRL. Fuck I don’t even know what I’d do without your level headedness to calm me down from my occasionally high salt levels, Em. We met through Harper and I knew by the time we were a few replies in that I’d fallen for your writing and your voice and I’d literally follow you to the ends of the earth. And now you have Mandy and just FUCK like who would have guessed that I’d fall so hard for Mandy Milkovich ( I did, actually. I loved her in the show and paired with your phenomenal writing and taste for development how could I not fall just as head over heels for her? ). Fox and Mandy are such a crack lil pair from their different fandoms but they work SO WELL together and I’m so glad I didn’t lose you when the show tried to ruin your 100 girl because honestly, Emily, I mean it when I say I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you babe.

@icebuilt - LOR LIKE WHAT EVEN HAPPENED WITH US. We went from “oh wow another Roan and she’s so well written and Lenee loves her but like she’s sooooooo well written I couldn’t possibly approach her ok now we’re in a gv together maybe this can be my in” to literal all-nighters to satisfy my and my kids’ urges for you and yours because WE LITERALLY CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU and I know I’m using the word literally a lot and I mean it like literally and not like figuratively because meeting you and becoming friends with you was literally ( lol ) one of the best things that’s happened to me on this weird blue website and in this wonderful but now awful show that borned our babies. I know I’m really bad at the ooc thing sometimes and I just hope you know that I adore you so very much and I think so highly of you as a person and a writer and I hope I’ve been doing better at displaying that for you because that’s what you deserve.

@kiingbuilt - My love, my Roan, my lil Fox’s king like, I don’t know if you realize ( again because I kinda suck at the ooc thing and I’m so sorry I’m trying to work on it I swear ) to the extent that Fox cares about her azgeda-turned-floukru king. She would do anything under the sun for him if he asked her to, follow him to the ends of the Earth and back again if he wanted her to. I know I don’t ask for a whole lot and that’s so on me like, but I’m working on that too and eventually you’ll probably regret telling me I can pester you with multiple threads and asks and bugger-ness haha But I’m kind of really eager for it is that weird? ( it is, oopsie ) <33

@survivorbuiilt / @silcntmuscle -  SAMMIE MY SAMMIE MY MURPHY MY MBEGE MY BOYSSSSSSSS. Well, Fox’s boys. Ok let me paint you a picture Sammie; here we have a sad panda britt who’s always imagined that Murphy and Fox were friends prior to the ground, who’s poor lil Fox has always had a lowkey thing for Mbege and who’s, sadly, never been brave enough or found someone to play this out with. Enters Sammie! Who’s loves me down with beautiful headcanons and seems to feel the same way I do about our poor mistreated babies and who loves the angst and the sweet and literally gives me everything I’ve every dreamed of when it comes to the Johns and their little fox. Sammie who lures me into new and exciting places with beautiful things THAT SHE IMMEDIATELY RIPS AWAY WITH HEARTWRENCHING ANGST because we all know that’s the fastest way to my heart and like; you just get me Sammie, and I love you and your boys and this incredible dynamic we’ve created with our children.

@leaderbuilt - Wrynnnnnnnn ok so I don’t have like, A Moment with a whole lot of people ( honestly no one else at all even comes to mind right now) where I had that “this person understands me and we’re going to do great things together” BUT I HAVE THAT WITH YOU and it was that ask, that “I wanna go, get out of here” ask WHERE YOU BROKE MY FUCKING HEART AND SOUL BY PARALLELING JASPER’S PROMISE TO FOX WITH BELLAMY. Like, I’d waited so fucking long for someone to give me Bellamy reacting to Fox’s death, for Bellamy’s thoughts when he had her and left her in that goddamn mountain and you gave me that. I’ve literally been waiting since I created Fox for something like that and I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me that from Bellamy. I love what we’ve got with our lil rare pair and I love you for always being patient with me and always chatting me up because ( for like the third time this post ) I do suck at initiating ooc chatter but I’m trying man! I’m trying. You’re amazing and I hope you always remember that. I’ll hardcore fight anyone who tries to say differently <3<3

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (these are a few of my favorite things people );;

@imnobodysson, @atonedhero, @greaseveined, @pariahbuilt, @wildmoored, @stellarstolen, @braverstars, @braverybuilt, @speedforcechosen, @mystiicanatomy, @trikrulinkon, @indiebryan, @gedanes, @gatcrguy, @chaosthxory, @atlasendured, @bigbrotherbellamy, @valleywatcher, @noukru, @makeitakillshct, @saviorbuilt, @noulaikkwelnes, @rcdteeth, @portectorisms, @amongthcwreck, @onyafevayuj, @bxmbsxaway 

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/how-to-meditate-on-a-train/

How to Meditate on a Train

Learning to meditate on a train can be a great way to make sure you sneak in a session. Here’s why one writer intentionally takes a long commute so she can stick to her meditation practice.

“Wait, what? Why?” is often the response I get when people discover that I belong to a gym on the Upper East Side, a 45-minute commute—each way—from my Brooklyn home.

It makes no sense.

My neighborhood is chock-full of ways to stay fit, including a pool down the road and a Crunch, SoulCycle, and Orangetheory each less than a mile away. Not to mention, I have the lush green Prospect Park in my backyard, complete with a 3.4-mile paved loop that’s ideal for walking, running, or biking year round, free of charge.

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So why exactly do I choose to spend 90 minutes of my day, two to three times a week, on the train to chase an endorphin high? The answer is simple: I use the commute time for my Transcendental Meditation practice.

See also YJ Tried It: 30 Days of Guided Sleep Meditation

How I Stick to My Meditation Practice

Transcendental Meditation, or TM, is a mantra-anchored practice brought from India via the late Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (the guy who taught the Beatles) to the U.S. between the 1950s and 1970s. I picked up the popular practice (along with some six million people worldwide) in 2013 as a means to quell my anxiety, which was manifesting in the form of perpetual stomachaches.

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After months of taking herbal supplements and getting regular acupuncture with no improvement in my symptoms, I turned to TM, learning the practice from a well-respected teacher at the David Lynch Foundation, a nonprofit founded in 2005 by the renowned film director to help fund TM training for underserved students, veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder, victims of domestic abuse, and a slew of anxious folks, like me.

Within months of working with the wise and wonderful Joanna Pitt, who also teaches lots of celebs, my tummy troubles subsided, and I suddenly had an amazing new tool in my belt for managing stress.

See also 10 Top Teachers Share Their Go-To Yoga Mantras

The trouble with my meditation is—much like my workouts—if I don’t plan it, it doesn’t happen. While I wish I could be one of those disciplined practitioners who subscribe to RPM (rise, pee, meditate) first thing in the morning, I always prefer to hit snooze or scroll through Instagram in bed. So, when I started going to TS Fitness, a boutique workout studio run and owned by Noam Tamir, I decided to use 20 minutes of my 45-minute New York City subway commute to disconnect from the outside world (there’s little to no Wifi underground, thankfully), and reconnect within.

Sometimes 20 minutes on the train is all that you need for a meditation practice.

The Art of Meditating on a Train

Meditating on a loud train is not easy, at first. It takes effort to zone out the external and home in on the internal. This is one reason why I love TM. Whenever my mind starts to wander to the conversation next to me or the music playing from the boombox of the subway performers, I come back to my sacred mantra—a personalized, meaningless, one- or two-syllable sound prescribed to me by Pitt—which helps me come back to my breath and calms my mind.

Once I’ve succumbed to the bewitching practice, it almost always helps me enter a state of total rest and relaxation. (In fact, I often return to reality after my 20-minute session half asleep, which, unfortunately, is not a great headspace for high-intensity interval training.)

While TM officially calls for two 20-minute sessions a day, I’m very happy sneaking in two to three 20-minute sessions a week. It might not seem like much, but it does accumulate over time, which means that I still get to enjoy some of the benefits of a consistent practice. Sure, it would be way better if I practiced twice daily. It would also be great if I ate broccoli every day. But let’s be real.

See also The Science Behind Finding Your Mantra and How to Practice It Daily

The good news is, I can make every train ride—not just my commute to the gym—an opportunity to get my TM fix. After a couple of years of TM-ing on the train, I’ve developed a Pavlov’s dogs response to meditating during every ride, even if it’s just 10 minutes. Actually, just yesterday, I only had a seven-minute train ride and I still managed to slip in and out of my practice with ease, enjoying the benefits of a few moments of calm before a client meeting. And I’ve learned that taking advantage of any free moment—whether it’s my train, waiting at a doctor’s office, or sitting on a plane—is one of the best and easiest ways to maintain my practice and reap the rewards.

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[dexs-freckles]

It Isn’t What it Looks Like, Really!

For @crazylazydays prompt- sorry it took so long it started out short and fluffy and then my semi-angsty ass decided to get intense AND NOW IT’S 2400 WORDS OOPS. I hope you enjoy it :)))))

“It’s not what it looks like, really!”

“It looks like Nursey’s head is stuck in-between the posts of the stairs...” “Oh, then it’s exactly what it looks like.”

 Earlier That Day…

Derek Nurse was a klutz. It wasn’t exactly something he could deny considering within the last week he had fallen up the stairs, smacked himself in the face with a plate, and nearly pulled off Chowder’s pants when he tripped into him. It was just something he embraced, even when someone threatened to safely secure him up in bubble wrap until he graduated to ensure his game wouldn’t suffer. There was a common trait between all these instances however, that somehow no one had yet noticed. Every time Derek’s body betrayed him, be it tripping, injury, or a complete wipeout, William Pointdexter had been shirtless.

 Currently he was lounging in the Haus on the forbidden couch doing readings for his British Literature class when Dex had walked in covered head to toe in mud. “Yo, dude, what happened to you?” Nursey could tell, even though most of Dex’s face was coated in drying brown patches, that Dex was a very angry shade of red.

 “The fuckin’ Lax Bros just happened, THEY LITERALLY JUST DROPPED A BUCKET OF MUD OUT OF A WINDOW WHEN I WALKED BY. I HAVE A MIDTERM IN AN HOUR AND I CAN’T GO BACK TO MY DORM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS GETTING LAID AND-“

 Nursey decided to interrupt Dex before he somehow managed to get redder and possibly explode, “Dude, go take a shower in Chow’s bathroom. Both him and Bitty are out in class right now and I don’t think they’d fault you for needing one.”

 Nursey settled back into the couch and continued his readings, the sounds of a slighty less angry Dex showering in the background. Nursey tried to ignore the fact that Dex was very naked right above him, and focus on the probably queer readings he was trying to take notes on. He finally heard the shower go off, and figured that he’d try to lighten Dex’s mood before he left for his midterm. It wasn’t like Nursey was a total asshole and wanted Dex to go off to his midterm still seething, that wouldn’t help anyone. Nursey’s plan was genius, he was convinced it was genius anyway, until it became obvious it wasn’t.

 In this genius plan, Nursey had planned to wait at the bottom of the stairs with his head near the poles that attached the railing to the stairs. He was going to wait there with a creepy look on his face until Dex noticed him and would die laughing because Derek Nurse was hilariousTM. In retrospect, none of the above was accurate because Nursey was not funny, nor was he careful and those two concepts were a large dependent in his plan. He heard Dex begin to descend the stairs, and he got his face ready perching his head semi-wedged into the bars on the stair to be sure he wouldn’t be missed. What Nursey was not expecting, however, was Dex, whose only coverage was a very small towel, to be so easily spooked. When Dex saw Derek, he screamed.

“wh-AH FUCKING HELL”

 In response to Dex’s yelp, and the severe towel slippage that had occurred, Derek Nurse’s head slipped inbetween the bars of the railing and got stuck there. Dex began reaming Nursey out, his frustration showing based on his returned to red face.

 “-AND ANOTHER THING WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA I COULD’VE FALLEN DOWN THE STAIRS-“

 As Dex screamed Nursey discreetly tried to pull his head out from between the bars, not realizing this was going to be more difficult than he anticipated. It wasn’t until he made a very squeaky noise of frustration that Dex stopped screaming and realized where Derek was and why he hadn’t moved yet. “Are you stuck?”

 “No… I just haven’t quite figured out how to remove my head” “So you’re stuck.”

 “Yes.”

 There was a pause, but the unthinkable then happened. Dex’s face went red again but instead of yelling, this time he was laughing- no sorry he was full on chortling.

 “H-HOLY SHI-IT, YOU-YOUR HEAD IS STUCK, OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS- ”

 And then it hit Dex, that Derek was stuck and he was the only one in the house to help him get unstuck. And it seemed that Derek was not handling it well based on the heavy breathing that had started up during his laughter. Oh, well that wasn’t good. “Nurse, are you okay?”, Dex realized his question was probably pretty lame considering the state Nursey had already managed to put himself in within the last minute and a half. The lack of response from Nursey other than a semi-shake of his head indicated he probably should try to do something before this got worse. He shot off a quick text to Bitty, (SOS, Come back to Haus ASAP please!!!) and then turned back to his pale-faced teammate. “Okay, Nurse, breathe please. I don’t really know what I’m doing in this situation, but I know you need to breathe to live so please please do that… uh count to 7 while you breathe in and 5 while you breathe out, there you go, okay.”

 As Dex worked to reassure Nurse, his phone pinged and Bitty had indicated he’d be back in 10 minutes and to just stay put. Dex realized Bitty didn’t understand how impossible it would be to move, so he turned back to Derek who appeared to be calming down slightly with the change in breathing, colour returning to his face. Finally in a shaky voice, Nursey was able to say something.

“Can you hold my hand?”

 Dex figured he wasn’t really in the place to argue, so he took Nursey’s hand and began to stroke it with his thumb. He decided that the best way to help Nursey was to distract him from the situation until Bitty arrived. So Dex rambled, told Nursey about the time his cousin had superglued himself to the toilet in an attempt to prank his sister. He noticed that Nursey began to calm down while he spoke, small reactions to avoid jostling his head’s position between the bars. He realized he was still holding Nursey’s hand, he also realized he kind of didn’t want to let go. The truth was, Nursey and Dex didn’t know how to deal with the tension between them but they weren’t oblivious to why it existed. They had started out rough, constant fighting and screaming but it had turned from aggression to light-hearted chirping and realistically some of their chirps were so mild they were essentially flirting. The team had picked up on it, but they all realized it wasn’t their place to say anything- Dex and Nursey would figure it out themselves sometime or another. Dex and Nursey didn’t realize how silent they had been until they heard a car rush by outside the Haus, both thinking about things, not caring that Dex’s story had just trailed off. They just kind of looked at each other, and they watched each other, neither expecting anything from the other. Slowly, Dex moved closer to Nursey. The situation wasn’t exactly appropriate for anything Dex had in mind, but he hadn’t really considered that when he moved. He realized Nursey couldn’t really move anywhere so he watched, hoping he wouldn’t push any boundaries and half-expecting Nurse to start wiggling away from him. But he didn’t, Nursey just watched him with his eyes wide as they moved closer until there was a loud bang and Dex jumped two feet backward while Nursey whacked his head off the rail in shock. He turned to see Bitty staring with a look of shock on his face, he didn’t know what to do but he was ready to bullshit something, “It’s not what it looks like, Bits, really!”

 “It looks like Nursey’s head is stuck in-between the posts of the stairs...”

 “Oh, then it’s exactly what it looks like”, Dex giggled nervously to himself as Bitty went into the kitchen muttering under his breath about wasting butter and klutzy frogs. It wasn’t like he didn’t want Bitty to know what was about to happen, he just didn’t want Bitty to know before Dex knew what was going on. He saw Derek getting pale again, and wasn’t entirely sure whether it was from the stairs, Bitty, or him- but he figured any of the above probably weren’t good. He took Derek’s hand again, rubbing his thumb in circles while Bitty came back with a couple sticks of butter and a look severely lacking in shock considering the situation. After a few minutes of buttering Derek’s face, and much more muttering, Derek was finally freed from the stairs. “I don’t know how y’all managed this, but I also don’t know why you didn’t just take out the bars he was stuck between, considering you did that last week to fix a cracked pole Dex.” Dex realized that would have worked really well, unfortunately well, but he also didn’t think it was his place to reveal to Bitty he was busy trying to calm Derek down. So he just kind of shrugged and indicated he hadn’t really though the situation through, then he realized the time and the whole reason he ended up here and the fact that he was still in a towel (which Bitty thankfully hadn’t mentioned). He grabbed his bag, moved to the bathroom, changed into his back up gym clothes, and ran off leaving Nursey with Bitty. Nursey opened his mouth to say something, he wasn’t really sure what to say at this point, but Bitty cut him off. “I don’t know what happened, I don’t know if I want to know, but for heaven’s sakes y’all need to have a talk and I’m buying you a bubble to live in, hmph.”

 Nursey decided Bitty was right, he needed to talk to Dex and he probably needed to finish the conversation they started earlier- especially if it meant what he thought earlier meant.

 ***

 Dex’s midterm had gone well, he couldn’t complain, but he was exhausted after the afternoon he’d had. He was headed back to his dorm to finally get some rest until he noticed a very quiet Derek Nurse sitting outside the door of his room. His roommate was clearly out because otherwise Derek would’ve been waiting inside, so he figured he had a good enough reason to invite him in and watch Netflix. Other than nod at Dex Nursey hadn’t said anything which wasn’t unusual, but his mood seemed to be even more subdued than normal. Once they settled onto his bed, laptop set up on a chair across from them so they could sit widthwise and stretch out more, Derek finally spoke up. “Thanks for uh, not walking away earlier, or whatever”

 It was still quieter than Dex was used to hearing from Derek, and he seemed almost uncomfortable. Dex’s reply didn’t seem to make him anymore comfortable though. “Dude, I wouldn’t have left you in that situation unless my midterm had been starting in the next few minutes… and even then I probably would’ve waited until Bitty showed up.”

 Derek seemed to be trying to take up as little space as possible, a 6”2 hockey player curled into a ball not passing for taking up little space, but nonetheless trying. Dex shifted closer to him, taking another chance in his actions, and covered Derek’s hand with his. Neither one looked at the other as the show in the background continued to play on. This continued for a few minutes until Dex finally found his voice again. “I- uh- wanted you to feel better… you looked… not okay?”

 Nursey let out a very shaky sigh, Dex finally turned to look at Nursey and saw that there were tears running down his face. Something inside of Dex panicked slightly, he didn’t like this, had he caused this? Nursey still wasn’t look at him, so Dex lightly put his hand on Derek’s face and turned him to face Dex’s face. Nursey continued to look everywhere but at him, so Dex waited. Finally Nursey spoke.

“Someone shoved me into a locker in middle school, and I got stuck. It- that situation… reminded me so much of that,” he sighed heavily.

“The difference was that last time, someone I cared about very much didn’t stick around. They ran, and they never came back. I was there for almost an hour before someone finally did something. I transferred to Andover soon after that, my parents appalled that someone had managed to do that to me and get away with it.” At this point, Dex felt heavy. He knew that Nursey had just hinted at the unspoken feelings they shared, and he was angry that Nursey had gone through all that but neither of those emotions would help Nursey. So he waited some more, hopefully silently urging Nursey to continue, which he did.

 “I know, it wasn’t the same thing. It wasn’t a locker, and I wasn’t stuck the same way, and I know if you’d left someone would’ve come along. But in that moment, you were laughing and I know it wasn’t mean but like… I just couldn’t figure out what to do about any of it. Dex, I-“ Nursey stopped speaking suddenly, like he wasn’t sure he knew how or what to say next. So Dex spoke instead.

 “Nursey, Derek, I really care about you. I want to be there for you in every situation, even if it means sitting with for days you while your head is stuck in the railing on the stairs. I want to protect you even if it means getting hurt myself. I want… you, basically just you.”

  Dex wrapped his arm around Derek, slowly so as to allow him space if he chose to wiggle away, and when Derek settled up against him he felt good and Derek in turn felt safer than he ever had before. With a light but hesitant kiss to Derek’s forehead, the two hockey players finally settled into each other knowing that they had all the time in the world to talk about things- but right then they just wanted to feel the other beside them

[elanska]

Newlyweds in atlanta, part 2 (a KHR!OC - TWD crossover, kinda. More of my research notes about camping/survivalist prepper tips, my wish fulfillment for +1 mil motorhome, and how I troll the TWD cast with my OC, and the awesomesauceness that is Hibari Kyouya, and equally awesome Kusakabe)

(oh, and also human’s conflict, because I swore I just want to mention it casually in 1-2 paragraph, and somehow there’s this wall-of-text’s Huang Shaotian’s worth of rambling about it. so most important stuff should be in next post actually)

Dude, I can't even stated the title without rambling. Okay, so summary so far:

KHR!OC stuff: (you know about Hibari and Kusakabe, the OC’s name is Kobayashi Risa) - man chase woman to usa to say 'don't go!', boarding the same airplane (y'know, like those rom-com movies) - while man fidgeting about what to say, ZOMBIES happens! awesomesauceness battle within airplane ensues! (or not actually, considering, well, it's zombies, so it's kinda curbstomp battle since Kyouya pissed enough that he didn't get to say the 'stay in namimori with me' before woman went to sleep. And then all this crowding, crying, screaming, and zombies (in that order) happens. so Kyouya annihilate the zombies and the shaken pilot decide to land the plane in nearest airport, Atlanta. - airport is having zombies problem too, so they can't get their luggage (their bags in overhead compartment cabin is fine, but not the luggage, since hey! airport attacked by zombies!). Kyouya contacted by Tsuna (Vongola must have their own satellite communication to avoid being hijacked by government or something like that) who inform him there's a global plague problem and to go to their base (USA mafia HQ seemingly either in NY or chicago). Kusakabe went to procure a car from airport rental and off they go. Security/military might try to interfere at this point, but gets ignored. They  managed to gets outside town and stuck on the highway when city gets bombed. - Risa wakes up, gets briefed by what's happen so far, and suggest they go to Bellwood Quarry since it's: 1. high vantage point and natural defense line to the slow walking undead + have water + have woods around (so shelter and probably hunting food!).

now, the start of the trolling, I meant, crossover truly began

The quarry has other people also evacuating there. 

Good points = more people means more human resources to do lots of useful stuff. 

Bad points = people are still shocked, so doesn't really want/ready to do anything and need to be prodded and since they're all strangers, there's no real chain of commands, so it's chaotic for a while (and Kyouya has deep aversion to crowds, so to not makes him goes off beating anybody, she and Kusakabe camped a bit far from them, about 100 metres away. both camp can still see each other, but not in 'oops! I carelessly stumble into your space tee-hee' range)

Quarry campsite power struggle:

when people first arriving, there's no structure of who is in charge. Hell, people are just in shock, grief, and angry, and demanding to know what just happens? Infections? virus? where's the government? where should they be going now that the city is bombed?

Risa trying to calm people down and said, "well, maybe government caught with surprise too! and not handling it very well! let's just make do with what we have on this camp. We can fortify this place while waiting for government to collect themselves, taking care of the problem and then declaring it's okay to go back home. For now, have to make do with this extensive camping trip."

She got full brunt of people's anger - complaining about government's incompetencies and what's our tax paid for, etc, etc, and now they expect them to do /their/ jobs? fucking useless, etc, etc

Risa pointed out that she's a tourist here, not government agent (no matter how snappy Hibari and Kusakabe's dressed). but let's see it this way. "Let's say that you're in the zoo, and some faulty railings make you fall into alligator enclosure. will you only stand around demanding apology for the broken railing, or will you secure yourself first by climbing up or whatever to ensure that the alligator cannot reached you?" "securing ourself is for our own benefit. You can demand apology from government later (or tax refund), but it won't do you any good if alligator chow you down because you're not doing anything to ensure your safety first" "remember, your safety comes first. so while waiting for government to do their job, let's protect ourselves first! starting with making simple DIY fences and making watch patrol"

People do it grumblingly, shoddingly, half-heartedly. Well, at least, they're working at it, but there's still grudge of being wronged somehow!TM - so their work result is varied. Some is good, some......well, let's say that Ed Peletier's work is absolute crap compared to even what children makes. It fell apart easily, and when pointed out how poor his work is and how it'll make an easy hole in camp's security, he blows out, saying "this is not my job! I don't do this stuff."

People scoffs at him, but Risa interjected, saying, "well, everyone has different talent. maybe you're more talented in being watcher or do patrol." However, she also notice that this likely to encourage other people to also start skipping and so, adding:

".......however, as we have noted earlier, each safety's first. People are expected to secure their own camp first. if they still have time and material after that, they can choose to help with what others lacking."

the implication is very clear, you can be lazy and expect for charity, but only if people have time (and willing) for it.

Protest erupts. "You can't let him get away with that!" "what if he does shoddy jobs on patrol as well?"

"we don't know that, we're all strangers here, so Ed might be very good at patrols. I meant, I can't cook." Risa said, "it'll took time to know what everybody's talent is, but for now let's work with what we have. First, we secure the area around each our own tent/camp/car. Then we make list of everyone’s here so can decide the patrol rotation. Then we also need to scout for quarry below to see if the area safe enough to get the water....."

after bombing people with all the ever-growing list of what they need to do. Risa also makes suggestion of trading between people. For example, Risa herself can't cook, but she's good at making the fence she demonstrated earlier and so can trade her 1x1 meter makeshift fence with one portion of food. If there are people who can hunting animals/food/fish, they can trade it too with what other people currently haves. This idea while supported by some, also rejected by some (namely, Dale) who thinks it's better and humane for them all to pooled their resources together instead.

Then somebody pointed out, "you don't seem bring much luggage. This whole hardwork-fencing stuff is not just your trick for getting free food, right?"

//At this time, Kyouya & Kusakabe were going away to find some camping stuff and food (they get out of atlanta without bringing any, but kusakabe remember they passed such store), so both men going out while Risa said she will try to put some semblance of order on the camp.//

"What? noooo. Just to be clear, I'm not your boss or leader of this camp. I'm just giving suggestion on survival camping since I have bit of experience, that's all. If you think making fences is a bad idea or just a tactic for me stealthily stealing your food, you have option to not doing it at all. You are the one benefitting if you're making fences around your camp since us three will make separate camp over there."

There's a bit of panic and "what? why?" but Risa reveals that Hibari and Kusakabe are in mafia and not really handling being in crowds very well, so best to separate their camps. Since Hibari and Kusakabe are having experience in dangerous stuff, their separate camp also serve as first line in defense against undead (their location a bit closer to the entry), but since the location is very big and many multiple entries/exit, your own watcher and patrol are still needed.

"Hibari (the one with short hair and bangs) especially, really, really, really doesn't like crowds. It's big peeve of his. He'll be beating you if you approach him in crowds. Talk to me or Kusakabe (you know him, the guy with amazing hairdo) if you want to say something, but don't ever crowd around Hibari. There's nothing I can do about it, there's nothing you can do about it either. Seriously, why pursuing conflict while we have bigger problem of undead menace? Separate camps = we won't thread on each other toes while helping with security while your government gathers himself. Oh, and I will be helping you with survival camping - free of charge - since you seems a bit not experienced with that."

This met with grudging approval. Until Hibari and Kusakabe returns with a van full of camping supplies (they don't think there'll be another bombing, if there are, well, they can stay in Kyouya's reverse sphere needle for a while). People are doubting the cover!mafia story 

"I think they're government agents and just making those mafia shits so they don't need to help us!" 

"Those men look foreign."

"Glenn looks foreign."

"hey, that's racist!"

"anyway, let's see what they brought."

Risa just reported to them two about separate camp which she thinks its best for everybody (the other camp are not namimori citizen (which Hibari automatically lorded over), if they don’t choose to be under him, it’ll be pain in the ass if Hibari attempted to lord them over, as he’ll need to constantly watch if they really do what he says. Pain in the neck for both side, really. so best is separate camp and show them by result). Hibari raises his brow at the crowd of people approaching behind her. Risa sighed, knowing they can't avoid from giving painful example.

"I know you're lying about that mafia shits! You're really government aren't.....!!!!" the man who said that hasn't finished his sentence when Hibari kicked him in the stomach. He usually use his tonfa, but it currently slathered with the zombies' gunk (since y'know, he and Kusakabe just raided the camping store and it's full of AWESOME zombie slayin'! Hibari might be violent, but he's not psychopath). So he reach to the downed guy, casually ripped his shirt and use it to wipe his tonfa (okay, he might be a liiiitle bit of psychopath, but his tonfa is dirty and hey! free rag material!) okay, I might be little psychopath too (but that guy just assault him vocally, so that's kind of fair)

//by the way, Hibari and Kusakabe actually took quite a great risk to head over the town so quickly, but hey, since they’re so early, other people hasn’t recovered from shock yet/still tentative to go out. They met with one clerk, who shakily told them, they can’t just rob the store. Kusakabe flashed their credit card, “you still receive payment? fine by us” (I don’t need to mention that Hibari is rich and can buy entire store, aren’t I? I think his family is old money in Namimori, adding the fact that he has Foundation and work for old mafia famiglia like Vongola, yeah, he can pretty much buy anything, but those can’t buy him love *snerk*). the clerk opt to do clever way and offers to help them picking and packing stuff they need (since he’s more knowledgeable in camping stuff) if they helped him to get to his home. Hibari contemplating this, seems waste of time, since they can just knocked him out and take the stuff if he refused to sell, yanno? but that’s daylight robbery. But Risa is alone in the quarry. The clerk cried, “my house really near! 15 minutes by car! and I can show you where the food place is along the way! You need them too, right? I...I’ll need them as well for my family”. Kusakabe whispered to Kyouya that it’s best to get food while they’re in town and a local that can show them the place, also Kobayashi should be fine since the place looks secure enough, and worse come to worse, she can hide in the car (they left the car for her, and just take random car in the highway). Kyouya glared at Kusakabe but check his watch, “pack the stuff - identically - in two separate cars. You will ride with Kusakabe. We’ll be leaving in 30 minutes.”. So they pack some awesome shits (I kinda wanted the solar powered generator, but don’t know if they’ll stock that in camping supplies store? seems pretty expensive, so probably not always in stock. OTOH, this is WISH FULFILLMENT, but damn, I want to go about survival stuff, can’t make it too easy for these guys... hmmm, hmmm, ah, I’ll keep secret of what they actually brought back in the van since it’ll give me free access of ‘experienced store clerk packed it for them’. Food place turned to be small, abandoned minimarket. The clerk there shot by people desperate enough to brave bomb threat. Clerk refuse to give, get shot, people take stuff and run, and now they’re back on second/third run? (it’s day 1 or 2 after bombing) and found the clerk reanimate and bit them, and zombies multiplied and/or drawed by the sound of scream. That’s where Kyouya arrives. Camping clerk horrified and want to go home, but Kyouya steps down from his van and proceed to CURBSTOMPED! the zombos. There’s still some stuff on the warehouse on the back (the looters just focused on clearing the shelf), so they take those (Kyouya let the camping clerk guy take the leftover stuff on the shelves. Anyway, Kusakabe told the guy, “I’ll be loading the stuff into my boss van. You load unto yours. We’re leaving once my boss finished loading, so you better pack fast.” They drop the guy in front of his apartment/house and return to quarry (no, they didn’t help to check/sweep his house for zombies, that’s not the deal and it’s his own problem. Guy have weapon from his camping store anyway and Kyouya worried about his little bird left unsupervised) 

Swore the above super loooong paragraph was just meant to be 3 sentences at best and then okay, one paragraph, but I can’t help myself! Ahem! anyway, Kyouya kicked that guy and Kusakabe follows with "it's best if you return to your camp now, people" and Risa sighed, "I'll talk to them again. I'm sorry, I think they will really listen now."

People gets angry (and scared), but they get the point by Risa basically saying 'I told you so' and what's that just now? people grumbling a bit about ‘should share the stuff’ and Risa pointed out that 'you grumbled about /me/ trying to trick you out of your stuff earlier and now you want to take our stuff???' 

She paused for an uncomfortable silence to sink in and then continue, “I'm open for trade, and after sorting the stuff I can spare, perhaps a charity. But aside from that, let's keep each of our stuff separate"

Dale openly objects that it's better for all of them to share with each other. Risa pointed out again that she didn't really want to interfere with how your camp is run, but she suggest in order to do that, everyone in this camp should give honest list of what they bring, so it can be tallied and shared with everyone. Dale can make the list and she'll help sort, arrange, and organize stuff to share between all of you ('no, I won't take anything from your camp'), but she doubt many people will like strangers going through their stuff thoroughly like that. "I think you need to familiarize yourself with each other before making decision for that. You can always donate if you think have more than enough. Anyway, you guys should continuing your work with fence making? and prepare 3-5 people in 1 hour and containers, we'll be going to quarry to fetch water. Kusakabe will help us to see if coast is clear, and dispatch the undead, if any"

//by the way, Kyouya a bit distraught since they're managed to get 3 tents and Risa said they should use one tent for dew/rainwater collection, she can sleep in the car. Kusakabe offers to sleep in the car instead. Risa rejected the idea because Kusakabe needs his restorative sleep after an exhaustive day and the car will be too cramped for him since he's tall (while she's small). Then Risa said she can sleep with Kusakabe in his tent (Kyouya sleep by his own is a firm default) since she's small and won’t take much space “don't worry! I have a little brother, so I'm pretty much used to bunk together in same tent"

Kusakabe, sensing his boss silently raging inside for not being considered for the tent-sharing (HAHAHAHAHAHA! poor guy!), saying he'll be up for guard duty anyway. 

"but.."

Kusakabe pointed out that somebody need to take watch of the surrounding so the zombies doesn't sneak by. Hibari is out of the question, and Risa had her uninterrupted 8 hours of catatonic!coma sleep condition, so Kusakabe is the one that have to be guard duty. "It's okay, I'm used to it. Lack of sleep just for one day is nothing."

Risa apologizes about her idea of separating camp and thus making Kusakabe taking this sole duty (the idea that Kyouya need to take guard duty never occured to both of them) and maybe she can ask somebody on the other camp to help relieve Kusakabe ("I'm sure I can trade something for it") but Kusakabe shakes his head, "we're not sure if we can trust them yet, so no need to do that. I'll just take a nap before guard duty tomorrow"//

Damn, I forgot about Shane and Lori on this conflict. Well, I think not all people came at the same time at the quarry, so let's just say that Shane, Lori, and Carl arrives after two camps had been separated. Were he present at this time, Shane will agree with 'your family came first!' idea then perhaps watch when Lori disagree with Risa for having selfish 'each their own' thought. Risa will clarifies that 'each their own' can still donate stuff. If you have plenty and therefore want to donate, that's nice. If you have less and still want to donate, that's super awesome. What she wants to avoid are just people forced to give up their stuff because a gang told them to. Lori pursed her lips at the 'gang' word and said about 'ways of respectful and proper society' and Risa (who admit she's part of mafia) just smiled cheerfully at her, "Great! glad to hear your camp will be fine then." (also, since Kyouya is OP-as-fuck, after the 'you're lying!' man kicked and shane move instinctually to take him down, he’ll be also downed from a casual (but lightning!quick) hit to solar plexus. and hey! two free rags for tonfa wiping!)

Lori will gets angry 'what's THAT for?' 'crowding and attempting to manhandling Hibari.' 'You're saying that man will be beating anybody that TOUCHES him?' 'sounds about right. Keep your distance and don't crowds generally okay with Hibari.' 'crazy people!' - later she would ask Shane to steer clear from the crazy trio and not do any business with them. Shane bit of angry but choose to let things go, since he's kinda believe they're from mafia, they're clearly not your usual lowly thugs, that’s for sure. I think he will try to topple the frickin mafia grasping over the camp when Rick arrives, but goodie-goodie Rick will try to talk things peacefully first, but since talking is Risa’s job, he will left disoriented and half-brainwashed