#wash simulator

[viberevstudios]

Man-Man & ViBE's therapeutic experiment concludes in part 3 of their PowerWash Simulator saga!

[agentark]

everything we know about Red vs Blue means that there's a canonically supported reality in which every bit of the rvb timeline that happens post-Freelancer saga is actually just simulations Epsilon is running in WASH's head as he unravels

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

Now this. This is a crossover.

[nevesmose]

Power Wash Simulator × Warhammer 40,000 - The Horus Heresy Expansion Pack

You are Captain Balnaeus of the III Legion and only your elite squad of Emperor's Children™ Saponicus Spa Marines™ can deliver cleanliness to the galaxy's greatest warriors - the Primarchs™ rendered for the first time in ultra-realistic detail!

Guilliman - this is pretty much a tutorial level where he stands there grimly T-posing and hating every moment. If you spray him in the face, Yvraine will pop up in the corner of your screen and laugh like the dog from Duck Hunt.

Horus - similar to Guilliman but introducing environmental hazards. Getting his giant ornamental shoulder-wolf wet is an instant fail and using too strong a setting on his nose tube will make it fall out, causing him to frenzy. There's also a final quick time event with a floor buffer to get his head nice and shiny. Overall still a pretty easy level but the difficulty curve gets much steeper from here.

Perturabo - using all the skills you've developed so far, but on a very short time limit before his patience runs out and he stomps you to death. Watch out for the corners of his giant square headpiece since the dirt and resentment really gets wedged in there. You can reset the timer once by summoning Calliphone, but then you have to deal with her making judgmental yet undeniably accurate comments about you for the rest of the level.

Konrad - unlike other levels, this time the primarch is actively avoiding you by moving erratically around the arena and screaming prophecies. The key is to use the most powerful washer setting to stagger him and then clean his weak points while he's stunned. Not too difficult once you learn his attack patterns but the late stage move where he summons Sevatar to throw a bucket of blood and viscera over him can catch you out if you aren't expecting it.

In the second phase he'll start shielding himself under his feather cloak which has an impenetrable layer of grease and filth on it. When he does this, Sevatar will be somewhere in the arena trying to unplug your power washer so you have to find and spray him to get Konrad to come back out.

Fulgrim - this level has a complex RPG / dating sim conversation mechanic where you can persuade him to adopt various poses from classical art and statuary to gain better access to his illustrious nooks and crannies. His comments get wittier and wittier each time so you need to be quick on the draw with your own incisive bon mots or he'll get bored. His eyes do that disconcerting thing where they're always locked on to the player no matter where you are in the room.

Fulgrim Transfigured - maxing out your relationship status with Fulgrim will unlock this secret post-Heresy level in which your power washer has been mutated into a throbbing fleshy construct that spurts glittering purple lubricant all over Daemon Fulgrim while he writhes around orgasmically.

At this point the DLC was removed from all online storefronts so the final and most difficult level, Daemon Primarch Mortarion, only exists as concept art.

[video-game-trivia]

Since its release back on July 14th, 2022, Powerwash Simulator has had three crossover DLC's. The first two were Tomb Raider and Final Fantansy and also completely free. This was likely because the game was published by Square Enix.

Afterwards was the game's first paid DLC, which was a crossover with Spongebob Squarepants. And it was recently announced that the game would also be receiving a Warhammer crossover too.

[cottoncandylesbo]

2MORROW...

oh yeah. we're getting fucked up and powerwashing again. you know it. with my pals @jame7t and @breakbeatbun !!

6PM CENTRAL... SPLASH IN !

[fire-and-cats]

every gamer girl has been waiting years for this text message

[tvckerwash]

idk how much of a trend it is nowadays, but back in 2014-2018ish I was always confused about why people decided to give tucker a hostile attitude towards wash prior to s11 when we don't see him having any strong feelings towards him until chorus (though I'm pretty sure they don't actually interact until chorus sans that one scene at the end of s8 but that is besides the point).

like don't get me wrong, I understand conceptually why people give them a rocky relationship, but tucker—and the rest of the bgc—don't treat epsilon and alpha as separate people despite understanding that they're separate people. to them, church is church, so when epsilon looks like church, acts like church, and sounds like church, tucker has no reason to treat him as different from alpha even though they are different. he also didn't spend enough time with epsilon to gauge the nuanced differences between them, so from tucker's perspective wash isn't the reason church was gone—church dies all the time, who cares about him doing it again? s11 hurt so much because epsilon's outburst in s10 made it look like he left because they weren't up to his standards anymore, the bgc weren't good enough to be church's friends anymore.

tucker wasn't good enough to be church's friend anymore, let alone good enough to be his best friend.

they trusted epsilon, they went back for him and carolina when they didn't have to because they couldn't in good conscience abandon them when they needed them, and the two of them returned the favor by abandoning them without so much as a goodbye.

wash didn't though, even when he had multiple opportunities to do so. wash didn't /have/ to stay to pick up the pieces and fill the void church left behind, but he did—and /it hurt/. it hurt that wash was trying so hard and cared so much when it wasn't his place to do so. who /the hell/ did he think he was, trying to fill in for church while simultaneously completely failing at it? why /the hell/ did tucker have to get stuck with him when he all he wanted was his best friend?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was power washing myself like I was in power wash simulator.

[parasocialdnp]

clean him

[fragmentedblade]

The "Dan Heng is Dan Feng" dogmatics annoy me a lot. It entirely brushes off one of the most interesting and prevalent questions posed by the game, incarnated by several characters and stories that give the question different hues with different potential answers, and a constant also in HI3, like a thread waving the two games together

[katjapetersart]

40k Power Wash Simulator...

And a little wheelchair race!

[ladymirdan]

So the 40k dlc for Powerwash Simulator just dropped, and on the subject of Land Raiders: the first mission in the dlc is to clean one for the Ultramarines. It made me think of you! :D

Was she as glorious as mine?

[itznarcotic]

find it extremely funny that Power Wash Simulator is in FF7 canon

[audley-and-cherry]

We are power washing in the grim dark future of the year 40000, my friends.

I just desperately want to know what the conversation between the Power Wash Simulator people and Games Workshop was like.

[vanosslirious]

Kryoz: Mirror...mirror...on the wall...who's the most underpaid of them all?

SMii7y: *laughs* Definitely you.