#watched the old guard

[percysjakcson]

Luca Marinelli as NICOLÒ DI GENOVA THE OLD GUARD (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythwood

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[lautific]

nicely tousled

[tepkunset]

Imagining a world where Netflix gave a shit about The Old Guard and actually released the sequel that's been in the works for years... Last I heard they're doing re-shoots this October? Maybe? This film is gonna be so cursed when it's finally out and that upsets me because the second graphic novel is just as good as the first imo and deserves a good adaptation...

[justaz]

merlin slipping up early on around arthur and trying to assuage his fears by assuring that the gods would look out for them and arthur pauses before asking “the gods?” and they have a awkward lil conversation where merlin is like “yeah i worship the gods of the old religion” and arthurs like “why?” and merlin goes “well why do you worship the god of the new religion? we just believe in them” and arthur takes in this new information and is eventually like “yeah. sure. i guess its not illegal in escetir is it?” anyways thats it. it doesnt get brought up again until later on

when arthur + the knights and merlin and in that shrine and the knights aren’t taking it seriously and merlin goes “in the time of the old religion, they built shrines like this to appease restless spirits. we shouldn’t be here” and the knights brush it off but arthur knows merlin truly believes in it all so he redirects the knights away and later on its him and merlin at the well and arthur is there to calm merlin after he sees the visions from the raid. merlin’s crying and pleading with arthur to leave, that they shouldn’t be here. arthur agrees and goes to leave when merlin calls out to him. arthur stops but doesn’t turn. merlin wraps his arms around his middle

“you were here”

arthur doesn’t say anything more and walks away

[miatsai]

i keep saying that i'm not really an enemies to lovers fan because oftentimes, the enemies are not true enemies. however, enemies to lovers when done right is exquisite. nicky and joe, for example. actual enemies who killed each other a lot and found one thing binding them together, one single thing in common, which then reframed their perspective on everything. THAT'S enemies to lovers.

[arttsuka]

Greetings!

I hope you’re doing well!

I love your Jedtavius art!

If you’ve seen The Old Guard I think Jedediah & Octavius meeting Joe & Nicky would be neat!

As Nicky & Joe are immortal they might have even met the human versions of Octavius & Jedediah which would make for an interesting discovery for Jedediah & Octavius I think : )

[smallpapers]

bright

[goldheartedsky]

I still can’t believe the TOG fandom watched Booker’s bisexual ass roll up on a clearly-stolen motorcycle to make a dramatic entrance for his girl situationship and then immediately make googly heart-eyes at his boy best friend and STILL tried to act like he’s straight???

[negotiumcrucis]

One of my favourite pictures of Yusuf 🔥🔥🔥

[non-un-topo]

[boeperhaps]

how i know a game has an extra special place in my heart is when i constantly think of a picture fuller than what the narrative offered. i often feel like i want to see more of what happened before it all went down, before the all-detailed disaster that led to the characters' tragic n inevitable end.

there's a certain comfort in lingering in such states before the plot's storm, let it be at the introductory part or halfway through the game. wandering around the map before that one task, mission or dialogue, finding out more about the characters and who they were, their dynamics and all they had before you progress with their story

cause you just wanna know more fr

[astrabear]

A coworker watched The Old Guard on my recommendation and he really liked it and I am being so normal about it. I am not interrogating him about his favorite parts or infodumping or squeeing or anything. Absolutely killing it with my impression of a sane human being who cares about this movie a reasonable amount.

It's awful. I hate it.

[dimity-lawn]

Like many times Great Grandfather like many times Great Grandson.

[zairaalbereo]

Can a shark dance? I watched “Nimona” yesterday, and couldn’t resist. So have Joe doing the shark dance. 🙈💖

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sequel to my other post about erik's plastic cube jail you can tell days of future past is The Divorce Movie because for eriks concrete prison that shit is absolutely NOT wheelchair accessible like charles is NOT visiting this man !!!!!!!