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#we are all so good at smiling
magicalblerdpenn · 1 year
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I finished reading the novel in verse We Are All So Good At Smiling by Amber McBride & I know I enjoyed it, but because I will be writing about it for work & may have missed some things, I'm rereading it. It's about a Black girl with clinical depression who faces her past using the power of fairy tales and hoodoo, as well as a mysterious boy named Faerry.
Some of my favorite lines:
"We need to remember that the mind is still a mind,
floating like a newborn cloud
or bird wings drowning in hardened chocolate.
My point is, a leaf knows it's important
at all moments of its life
even when it's broken.
People always forget
that a rough day, a bad year
doesn't equal a bad life."
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annelisreadingroom · 3 months
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I love this cover. 😍 What kind of book covers are your favorites? For me it's usually covers with bright or pastel colors and covers with flowers.
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We Are All So Good at Smiling
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We Are All So Good at Smiling by Amber McBride
Amber McBride, author of Me (Moth), is back again with another moving story in verse. We Are All So Good at Smiling is hauntingly beautiful and center's on Whimsy's battle with depression after she witnesses a traumatic event. In a universe closely mirroring our own, Whimsy and Faerry use their magic to help each other find the truth.
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bookcoversonly · 6 months
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Title: We Are All So Good at Smiling | Author: Amber McBride | Publisher: Feiwel & Friends (2023)
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andthebeanstalk · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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acewithapaintbrush · 9 months
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Very brave of opla to make Sanji hopelessly enarmoured with Luffy from his very first episode and give Zoro and Sanji a "jealous of the new/other guy" dialogue in the same season. Very brave indeed
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month
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Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.
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heartorbit · 8 months
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can i get a magical girl set please
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vcrnons · 2 months
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DINO April Shower
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jerswayman · 1 month
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LOVE THY GOALIE. GIVE THY GOOD BOY HEAD PATS.
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I'VE BEEN WAITING. FOR. YEARS!!!
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SINCE 2015 I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS DAY TO COME AND NOW IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!! WE DID IT GUYS WE'VE REACHED THIS MOMENT HE FUCKING LAUGHED
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frodo-sam · 2 years
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THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Rings of Power 1x08: Alloyed 2022 - | dir. Wayne Che Yip
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httpiastri · 9 months
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him<3<3
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taikanyohou · 9 months
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"It seems like they're in a busy period or something."
MY PERSONAL WEATHERMAN (2023). Episode 4.
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these are my friends
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see how they glisten
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(porcelain figurines of Sydney Carton from 1940s Japan)
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i just spent the last like hour going through all the lights out au stuff and im OBSESSED rn PLEASE
i'm not sure how to help you! enjoy the brainrot
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