#we are robin movement... but also tones of spider-man is all of us and any of us...

[bluegarners]

gender neutral robin

[negasonicteenagemess]

Fall For Me peter parker imagine

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Request: This is my first ever request so I hope this is clear, clumsy reader has a crush on the adorable peter parker and peter has a crush on the readers more confident superhero self. Kinda like miraculous ladybug if you've ever watched it? Both are like hero partners and peter really wants to know who she is but she thinks they shouldn't know eachothers identities because it might affect how they work. And somehow peter finds out her identity? Hopefully this is okay, I love your writing💌 

No FFH Spoilers (as I wrote this before I saw the movie) But I just finished playing “The Heist” dlc for the spider-man ps4 game, so this has small Black Cat vibes (and also a few other references in the game)

roughly edited

masterlist

Superhero name: Khaos (Chaos, but spelled in a greek wayyyy)

Y/N and Spider-Man both sat perched side by side on the edge of the dirty top of a New York roof under the dark sky. Well it wasn’t technically Y/N, it was her alter ego; Khaos. Spider-Man and Khaos, the famous dynamic duo of New York. They were the city’s protectors, and everyone looked up to them. Clad in her usual white full body suit, black boots and black domino mask (a mask styled like Robin’s), she gazed at the sky looming above her, starless from light pollution.

“I really miss the stars,” she muttered softly.

Spider-Man turned to face her with the mechanic eyes on his mask slightly widened. “Where’d you used to live before here? Ya know, where you were able to see the stars?” The man questioned, trying to get the smallest piece of information about who she was.

She glanced at him with a small smirk, “nice try, Spider, but I’m not telling you anything.” He huffed, looking down and shaking his head, “well it was worth a try.”

The masked girl raised a brow at the statement and sarcastically replied, “was it though?”  

“It’s always worth a try with you babe,” he cockily said, making Khaos roll her eyes and shake her head.

The girl jumped down onto the nearest lamp post to get closer to the group of men. Spider-Man followed her footsteps, but on a different post.

They both looked over the group, taking note on each man’s position. They’d recently discovered that one of New York’s famous mob families was trying to bust into a bank. They immediately thought of stopping them before the crime ensued.

“I got this one Spider,” Khaos muttered through the earpiece imbedded in her mask. She jumped down, knocking the man in the head before hiding to find her next target.

Spider-Man stealthily webbed the man up and sticking him to the lamppost. He jumped down, nearing closer to the girl. “Okay, what do we do now?” He questioned as he crouched down, looking at Khaos before looking around the entrance of the bank.

“There’s about twelve of them left, and they’re all clustered together,” she stated, looking above the crate she hid behind, “so there aren’t many options.”

Spider-Man looked around, seeing the dozen men, “go in guns blazing?” Khaos smiled at the comment, “well since you’re best at that, then by all means, let’s do it.”

He shot her finger guns, standing up straighter, “this is why you’re my number one girl, K.”

He walked closer and made sure the group of men would be able to hear him. “Hey, do you guys know the way to Rykers?”

All the men turned to face him, aiming their guns at the red and blue target. “No? Well I’ll guess you’ll find out soon,” he mocked, shooting a web at one of the men to grab the gun. Spider-Man swung it around, hitting anyone in a close vicinity.

He chucked the rifle at the man he stole it from, knocking him out. He shot webs at a bald guy, webbing him to the concrete beneath them. Bullets flew out of guns and due to his ‘spider sense’ he was able to dodge all of them.

Spider-Man shot a web, pulling himself closer to the group of men, dodging and throwing punches. “You know, you can join at any time Khaos,” he grunted, jumping over one man to web him with another guy.

He heard her chuckle into her mic, “why? It’s fun to watch you struggle.” He threw a web grenade, webbing most of the men, but still having to deal with five other lads.

“Please,” he begged, his voice straining. Y/N could tell that he sugarcoated his pleas and knew he could handle all of those guys, but she jumped in to help him. Or, flew down from where she was rather. “Hey guys,” she taunted as she levitated in the air, darkness clouding around her hands as the guns in the mob members’ hands were pulled away from them and behind the superhero duo.

“Now, I suggest you boys put your hands up,” she demanded in a sickly-sweet tone, and out of fear, they listened.

Spider-Man webbed them to the wall of the bank. “Why couldn’t you do that to begin with?” He suggested out of breath as he walked close to Khaos when she landed on the ground. Her eyebrows raised, the mask moving with them, “well you wanted to go in guns blazing if I recall.”

He scoffed, pointing to the men webbed to the wall, “what you can do is ten times cooler than what I can do, princess.” She blushed, but Spider-Man didn’t notice due to the nearby police sirens and flashing lights distracting him.

Khaos sighed and levitated in the air again, “gotta call it a night, Spider. Same time tomorrow?” They both knew that was just a harmless joke, as they fought crime together every day.

He smiled under the mask, “you know it darling. I’ll be counting down the minutes.” Khaos rolled her eyes with a small smile, “see ya Spider.”

She flew away into the dark sky as Peter leapt and swung in the opposite direction. He sighed, looking over the New York skyline, “one day, she’ll fall for me.”

Y/N jumped into her room, huffing as she pulled her mask off. “Another day, another city saved,” she mumbled while taking off the rest of her superhero getup. She plopped onto her bed, making sure to set the alarms on her phone. Closing her eyes, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning at school before the bell rang, Peter walked up to Y/N, Ned, with Betty glued to his hip, and Michelle. “Hey guys,” he approached, pausing the song that was blaring through his headphones.

“H-Hey Peter,” Y/N greeted, with excited nervousness lacing her voice and obvious bags under her eyes. Peter smiled at her, but then to the rest of his friends.

“What’s up?” He asked, stuffing his phone into the back pocket of his pants. Ned took this as his chance to speak. “Oh, we were just talking about Spider-Man,” he stated emphasizing the hero’s name with wide eyes at Peter, “and Khaos at some bank last night.”

The group of teens nodded as Peter glared at Ned. “Y-Yeah they stopped this mob family, and it was awesome,” Y/N said excitedly. The excitement diminished as she corrected herself, “it looked awesome! Do you wanna see the video? It’s security footage from the bank that was released this morning.”

Her smile was bright as the other three continued their conversation. Peter nodded and she eagerly pulled out her phone and went to step closer than him. MJ, watching her movements, took this as a chance to trip her friend, knowing what the result would be.

So, Y/N tripped over MJ’s foot, a small yelp escaping her lips. To her surprise, she didn’t hit the floor. She fell straight into the arms of Peter Parker. “Woah easy there,” he chuckled smoothly with his arms around her, trying to steady her. Y/N’s cheeks turned bright red, unknowing of the small smirk on Michelle’s face.

The group of teenagers paused their conversation at the scene unfolding between the two. Y/N slowly pulled herself from his arms, “s-sorry Pete.” She was so embarrassed, she didn’t know what to say, “I’ve just, it’s been a weird night. I’m really out of it.”

The statement caused Peter to raise his brows and their friends, yet again, went back to their own conversation. “What’d you do?” He questioned, moving his hands off her forearms.

Y/N’s mouth dropped, and she tried to find the words to say. “I, uhh, I stayed up really late… watching the Godfather.”

Peter felt skeptical over her response but quickly brushed it off. “Good movie choice,” he snickered. Y/N smiled and nodded her head, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.    

She opened the video on YouTube, then handed her phone to Peter. She stood next to him and watched as the crime fighting duo fought.

“He’s so cool” he mumbled under his breath. “Yeah, but Khaos is ten times cooler,” Y/N stated matter of factually.

“Obviously,” he said with a playful tone, “she’s a total badass.” Y/N was beaming when she heard this. The boy who she has liked since freshmen year thought she was a badass. Or, well, her alter ego. But nonetheless, she would take that as a win.

What Y/N missed was the longing look in Peter’s eyes. He just wanted Khaos to feel the same way. He had a crush on her ever since they started fighting crime together. It was nice having someone to talk to about superhero stuff. She was so understanding and caring, and she cared about this city as much as he did.

Sadly, for him, she didn’t care about him the same way he did for her.

The bell rang, signaling the beginning of first period. They all bid their farewells as Betty, Ned and Peter walked down a different hall than MJ and Y/N.

“Did you really have to trip me?” She questioned on the embarrassing encounter that happened just moments ago once she was sure Peter was out of earshot. Michelle shrugged her shoulders and they rounded the corner, “oh come on. We both know you’d do anything to fall into his arms.”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed red, “I-I mean you’re not wrong.” She scratched the back of her neck, now wanting to have a different topic of discussion.

“And the Godfather? Really Y/N?” MJ judged. Y/N groaned covering her face with her hands, “I didn’t know what to say. I panicked.”

Michelle laughed lightly, “alright Khaos. Just try not to blow your cover next time.” She patted her friend’s back quickly with the sarcastic retort, Y/N rolling her eyes.

On the other side of the school, after Ned walked Betty to class, with Peter third wheeling, the two began to talk about something…chaotic.

“Ned, I can’t even begin to describe her,” Peter responded after Ned questioned Khaos’s character.

“She’s just perfect. I don’t know,” he stopped himself, realizing that he sounded kind of pathetic talking about a girl who’s name he didn’t even know.

Ned was slightly confused, “so why hasn’t she told you who she is?” They walked through the door of their chemistry class, and Peter just sighed as he dropped into his seat.

“She thinks it’s unprofessional and that it’ll do more harm than good,” he ran a hand through his brown locks, before leaning his chin on his hand. “And no matter how hard I try,” he continued, “She won’t tell me anything about her! She’s like-like a closed book.” He couldn’t think of the proper words, but he knew it’d get the point across.

Ned nodded his head understandingly as the bell rang yet again, causing a good portion of the class to quiet down.

After many tedious hours, school was finally over meaning one thing in Y/N’s mind; time to punch assholes. She made sure to get home as soon as possible to switch into her suit. Once she did, she, gracefully, jumped out the window and flew straight to 43rd street, to her and Spider-Man’s meeting point.

She landed on the top of the building, already seeing the blue and red suit. He was sat on the edge of the building, a pizza box on his lap with a few slices already gone. “Hey Spider,” Y/N, or Khaos, greeted, sitting right next to her fellow hero.

He looked up and nodded his head as a hello, with his mouth was full of pizza. “You wanna piece?” He asked, his mouth full of the cheesy treat. Y/N chuckled, “yes please.”

She grabbed a piece and started munching on the New York staple. “Any plans for today?” She asked before taking another bite. Spider-Man shook his head, “nah, just good ole classic crime fighting.”

“Ah, I love good ole classic crime fighting,” she stated over dramatically causing Spider-Man to laugh. She is amazing. His laughter died down and he just looked at her, through his mask, with an admirable look in his eyes.

It took Khaos a second to notice, “what?” Her voice was soft but was still able to be heard over the loud New York traffic.

He wanted to scream ‘you’re by far the best person in the world, please date me’ but decided against it. “Nothing,” he muttered, going back to enjoying the pizza before him.

“So, how was your day?” He asked, dragging out the final word. Khaos huffed, shaking her head as she finished the slice of the pizza.

“Remember that guy I told you I had a crush on?” She asked and he nodded. He was always so adamant to hear her stories. He liked hearing them because it was the least bit of info, he got from her.

“Well,” she cleared her throat, “I made an absolute fool of myself in front of him.” She groaned leaning her head on his shoulder for a second, recounting the beginning of the school day.

“And he brushed off my idiocy like it was nothing, so I’m gonna take that as a good sign,” she chuckled at herself. Spider-Man laughed too, wiping his gloved hands on the side of his suit.

“You want the last piece?” Spider-Man asked, holding the box so that she could grab it. She eagerly grabbed the food; her hunger soon satiated.

He momentarily left to throw the box away. “Best pizza in the city,” he complimented as he came back empty handed.

“Indeed,” Khaos stated goofily, finishing off the pizza and standing up next to her friend.

“What was you’re day like Mr. Man?” She asked, mocking the tone of reporters while pretending to hold a fake microphone in front of him.

He cleared his throat, “well, as you know, high school is a bummer.” His voice sounded comical, almost like a man from the fifties.

She nodded in agreement, giggling slightly at the current interaction. “Painstakingly long for who knows what? Teenagers don’t deserve this!”

His mockery tone got louder as the gag between the two proceeded. Khaos laughed louder at his newfound ‘anger’.

“Alright, alright easy there Jameson,” she retorted, noting the hero’s fake anger as one similar to the Spider-Man hating reporter. He let out a sigh, “can’t help it. High school certainly is a menace.”

Khaos smiled, shaking her head and looking at her lap. The pair looked up quickly at the sound of sirens. Spider-Man hopped up onto the ledge, now standing.

“Well,” he held out a hand for Khaos to take, “duty calls, love.” She took his hand, pulling herself up from her seated position. He jumped off the building quickly after, swinging through the buildings. Khaos followed hot on his tail, only flying instead.

Their night proceeded with fighting bad guys and helping drunk people get home safely. They both knew that this is what they loved doing, despite the fact that the pair always ended up in bruises, they knew they had to protect the people of this city. Cause at this point no one else could. And respectfully, being Spider-Man and Khaos was something neither of them would ever give up.

So, the next day during lunch, Y/N approached her group of friends at the usual table they sat at. When she appeared, they abruptly ended their conversation, awkwardly trying to pretend that they weren’t just being secretive. “Sorry I’m late guys. Had to talk to my math teacher,” she explained, taking a seat next to MJ and across from Ned.

With a raised brow, she questioned their odd behavior. “What’s up with you guys?” The three of her friends looked between each other mysteriously.

“Um we were just talking about Betty,” MJ saved, diverting Y/N’s attention to Ned’s absent girlfriend.

“Oh,” she acknowledged, “is she okay?” Ned was joyous at her concern and with a small smile he responded, “yeah she’s really sick, but she’s gonna be fine.”

Y/N nodded, taking a bite of her lunch. “Hey Ned, I completely forgot,” MJ’s voice overdramatic, obviously hinting at something, “I have something to do over…there.” She directed towards the back end of the cafeteria at nothing in particular.

Ned caught on, as well as Peter and Y/N but the two of them stayed silent. “Oh, yeah sure.”

Michelle and Ned stood up and walked across the cafeteria. “You gonna tell me what that was about, Pete?” She questioned with a quirked brow.

He sighed, brushing his hands off and leaning his elbows on the table. “S-So they’re trying to convince me to ask this girl out,” he explained, not noticing the small frown forming on Y/N’s lips. She constantly heard about him gushing over some mystery girl, but she never knew who it was.

Y/N nodded her head slowly as Peter continued, “and-and, oh God this is stupid.” He rubbed his hands over his face letting out a sigh.

“Do you wanna go to dinner with me tonight?” His voice was soft, and extremely kind. Her eyes widened and she was stunned. “W-What?” She whispered, leaning in as if she misheard him. He smiled at her action, “I just… I don’t know. It’d be nice to get to know you better. We’ve been friends for so long, but I feel like I don’t really know you.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

Y/N was still in shock, with raised eyebrows. Peter chuckled, now filled with anxiety, “what do you say?” She felt like this was all a dream. In what world would this ever happen?

She nodded her head, a lovely smile gracing her lips, “I’d love too.” Peter mimicked her smile, “that’s great! Send me your address and I’ll meet you there at seven thirty?”

Y/N was at a loss for words. The boy she had a huge crush on actually wanted to go out with her. “Yeah that sounds good,” she replied, grabbing her phone and going to his contact to send the message.

As if on cue, Michelle and Ned came back to the table. “Hey guys, sorry for that… kerfuffle,” Ned greeted as he took his seat next to Peter. MJ shrugged, “sorry Ned. I just really needed help...over there. As far away from this table as possible for roughly five minutes.”

Peter and Y/N shared a suspicious glance, both knowing the real reason why they left. “Yeah obviously,” Peter sarcastically retorted, going back to eating his meal.

The rest of the day pursued, and Y/N had a hard time focusing. She had a date with the Peter Parker for crying out loud. The boy she had a crush on for what felt like forever.

So, when the bell rang, she practically bolted out of the school, trying to finish the day as fast as possible. When she was certain she was in a safe ally way, she pulled out her suit and admired it. “God, I love this,” she whispered, quickly changing into the suit.

Grabbing the mask, she flew up and simultaneously put the black disguise on her face. She met up with Spider-Man soon after. “Glad you can make it Khaos,” he said sarcastically, but not with anger, with a playful tone.

“Ah well you know. Had to take my sweet time putting on the suit.” She dramatically retorted, twirling around to emphasize the suit while still in the air.

“And you look as gorgeous as ever,” he theatrically stated, directing his hands toward her to ‘point out’ her beauty. She chuckled at his dramatic flair.

“Come on, what law-breaking citizens do you got for me today Spider-Man?” She asked, finally landing in front of him on the roof top.

He gave her a rundown of the crimes in the city, since he had intercepted police radio stations months ago for this exact reason. So, for hours after this, the pair went around the city, helping people, punching bad guys, the standard superhero 101.

It wasn’t overly unbearable today, so it made the day kind of fun for the both of them. Patrolling was typically like that, though.

“Well, hate to break it to you Spidey, but I’m afraid I’m gonna have to cut today’s rendezvous short,” she confessed after hours of crime fighting.

He snorted, “why? You gotta hot date or something?”

She shrugged her shoulders with a smirk, “maybe I do.” Khaos shot back, walking closer to the ledge. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Spider,” she jumped off the building and from the place he was standing, Spider-Man stared in awe as she flew away.

Since Y/N got a little sidetracked, she got back to her apartment at seven seventeen. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she mumbled as she quickly tried to get ready. At seven forty, she heard her doorbell ring through the house. She squealed, practically running to the door.

Fixing her hair, she slowly opened the door. A smile appeared on her face as she saw Peter Parker look up at her. “Hey,” he greeted with a blush.

“Hi, Pete,” she awkwardly replied, holding onto the door handle still. “Oh, I got you something,” he said swinging his backpack in front of him. He unzipped the bag, pulling out a bit of unkempt flowers.

“They, uh, they kinda got disheveled,” he pointed out, embarrassed by the state of his small gift to her.

“I mean, I think they’re alright,” she giggled, and he blushed like crazy. It was cute. He handed her the flowers and she went to put them in a vase. “You can come in Peter, I’ll just be a sec,” she shouted from some random place in the apartment as she searched for a vase.

Peter walked in, still awkward, while pretending to go on his phone. Y/N came back, the vase with flowers now perched on a table. They soon left, walking to the restaurant that was roughly twenty minutes away. They had the typical random small talk ‘oh how is your day?’ or ‘how’s school been?’

But at the restaurant, which was nothing fancy other than being on the rooftop of one of New York’s tall buildings, it got more personal. He opened up about when he lost his Uncle and how he was an orphan most of his life. Y/N talked about her personal life, excluding Khaos. And it was nice, the date was going well, and the sun was already gone.

Their meals have been done and eaten, but their night continued. “Man, I really miss the stars,” she mentioned as she looked up at the dark, starless sky. Peter’s eyes went wide as he diverted his gaze from the stars to her, “what did you just say?” He couldn’t believe what he just heard. She sounded just like Kha-

His thoughts were interrupted as gunshots were heard. They shared worried looks with one another. Everyone on the rooftop ran inside as quick as they could while Y/N and Peter ran to the ledge of the building to see what happened, Peter grabbing his backpack beforehand.

There was a group of armed robbers, maybe a gang but who could tell, at the jewelry store across the street. “Peter, I think you should go,” she mumbled, trying to gently push Peter towards the door to go inside the building. He looked at her as if she were crazy. “No, Y/N I’m not leaving you. Let’s just both go inside. Khaos or someone will show up any second.”

“Peter,” she started, her eyes going soft, but he interrupted her. “I’m not leaving,” his eyes filled with this desire that she couldn’t explain, so she stopped her protest.

“Do you trust me?” She asked out of nowhere. Peter nodded his head as she stood on top of the ledge, “come on then.” She stretched her hand out for him to take and he looked skeptical.

“What are you waiting for?” She queried, shaking her hand slightly as an indicator for him to grab it, as time was sort of running out. He took her hand in his, climbing on the ledge with ease.

“You ready?” She questioned, preparing herself more than him. Peter raised a brow, “ready for wh-“

Before he could finish, she jumped off the building, dragging the boy with her. At the exact same time she flew up.

“Holy shit,” he shouted when they soared through the sky, and Y/N turned to look in his eyes. There wasn’t a trace of fear in his chocolate orbs, just pure fascination and wonder which slightly confused Y/N as most people she saved were afraid of the distance between them and the ground. That look though, it made her smile. She wrapped her arm around his waist to hold him properly, and he did the same.

She landed in a nearby ally way and brushed herself off. “Y-You’re Khaos?!” Peter questioned with a mix of wonder and surprise. Y/N unzipped her jacket revealing the iconic white body suit she always wore, gloveless of course due to her power. Out of her pants pocket, she pulled out her mask, the sleek blackness of it shining in the streetlights.

“Y-Yeah. Only you and MJ know so please don’t tell,” she pleaded, taking off the pants she wore to expose the rest of the suit. “We can talk about this when I get back.” She recklessly threw her pants onto the ground.

“Dude this is insane. I-I can’t believe that it’s you. I have the biggest crush on Khaos,” he rambled on as Y/N put on her mask, becoming the hero most of New York loved.

She tilted her head a little, out of curiosity and teasingly asked, “how can you have a crush on a superhero you’ve never met?” She waited for a response, but he took too long. As she walked away, he shouted, “wait! Y/N wait!” He ran in front of her, his back facing the direction that leads to the alley’s exit.

“Peter, I’m kinda in a hurry,” she said impatiently, but with kindness.  He shook his head, “no, you don’t get it, I-“

Cutting himself off, he held his hands up in a way to sort of push her from leaving, but without touching her.

“I don’t know how to say this,” he rushed, looking a round as he tried to gather his thoughts. Y/N sighed, “spit it out Pete.” He looked up into her eyes, and without saying anything he pulled his backpack off his shoulders, to unzip it.

“What are you doing?” He didn’t respond, only showing her the contents of the backpack. The Spider-Man suit just laying there. Y/N’s jaw dropped, searching his eyes as a bit of a confirmation.

“I’ll catch up with you,” he expressed softly, going deeper into the ally to quickly change and leaving Y/N stunned. She jumped into the air to go and fight the robbers.

As she got to the jewelry store, she saw the store clerk being threatened by the gunmen. “Come on, why do you guys always use guns? It gets really annoying,” Khaos mocked, using her telekinetic powers to rip the gun out of his hands.

She closed her eyes for a second, focusing on the power manifesting in her hands. As she opened her eyes, she mentally pushed the robbers onto a nearby wall, focusing on keeping them there. She noticed as she did this, a few glass cases broke before her.

“Sorry,” she apologized to the store clerk with a weak smile, who’s eyes were too wide with shock to even notice the damage. Just then, Spider-Man swung through the glass window, which was shot out by the robbers.

He webbed each of the men to the wall as they groaned and thrashed in frustration. Almost systematically, the police cars pulled up in front of the store, as Khaos and Spider-Man scurried from them.

They soared through the air, going to their building on 43rd, which wasn’t that far. She landed there first, taking off the black mask to reveal her face. As soon as Peter got there, he did the same, his hair bouncing as the mask came off.

“Oh my God,” Y/N gasped out of breath, covering her mouth with her hands from astonishment. The shock hit her as she saw the boy she was crushing on clad in her superhero friend’s suit. His muscles looked more defined in the tight spandex, and she couldn’t help herself from admiring him.

“T-This is unreal,” he mumbled nervously, brushing a gloved hand through his dark brown hair. “Part of the reason why I asked you out was because MJ and Ned wanted me to get over Khaos, and-and,” he rushed, but ended up not knowing what to say. “Well to get over ‘Khaos’ “he spoke, air quotes around her alter ego.

Y/N groaned, hitting on the ledge of the building, with her feet still touching the roof. “Does MJ know?” She asked, now looking up at him. He nodded his head and went to sit next to her.

She scoffed, “she knew I had a crush on you. Peter you. Is that what you guys were talking about at lunch? Why they left?” Peter looked down at his mask as he ran his fingers over it, “yeah. That’s why she was so adamant on getting me to ask you out.”

They both sat in silence for a minute before Y/N burst out laughing. “This is fucking insane. In what world would this happen? You had a crush on Khaos.” She couldn’t believe the likelihood of this.

“And you had a crush on Peter Parker,” he continued, looking up to meet her gaze. “If Khaos had to be anyone, I’m so glad that it was you,” he said softly, nudging her side.

Y/N hummed softly, “right back at you, Peter Parker.” As he looked into her eyes, he was entranced by the softness of her eyes.

He leaned in a bit closer, wanting to be as close to her as possible at this point. “I’ve liked you for so long Pete,” she murmured, leaning in closer to him as well.

With his empty hand, he brought it up to cup her cheek, watching her close her eyes in content. She let in a slow breath, enjoying the moment as best as she could.

“Can I kiss you,” he bit his lip as nervousness filled his body, “please?” She opened her eyes, nodding her head, “kiss me, Spider-Man.”

His lips crashed into hers, the nervousness turning into warmth as she kissed him back. He brought his other hand up to cup her cheek, still holding the mask. Y/N moved her hands to grip his biceps

His heart pounded in his chest as she moved from her spot and onto his thighs. Her hands now gripped his cheeks as his own held her waist.

 He pulled away breathless, his lips swollen, and cheeks red. Y/N’s features mimicked his, and to him she looked absolutely perfect. “So” Peter dragged on, “I’m gonna assume you wanna date me?”

Y/N chuckled, gently playing with the hair on the nape of his neck, “I don’t know maybe.” She teased playfully. She leaned in, to get one last kiss, but froze at the sound of sirens.

She whined, dropping her head onto Peter’s chest. “Why do we always get interrupted by sirens and gunshots?” Peter chuckled at her comment, lifting her from his lap to stand properly.

He smiled as she put her mask on, doing the same with his own.

As usual, they fought crime together. But this time it felt different. The bond between them felt stronger as they both now had full trust and honesty with each other.

If was well into the night, a little bit passed one am when they decided to go back to the infamous building on 43rd. It was around the time when they would typically part ways, but they wanted to continue their earlier engagement, even if it was only for a few minutes.

“Peter,” she spoke in between kisses. “I gotta,” another peck, “go,” with another peck, “go home.”

He caught her lips with his again, holding the kiss out a little longer than before. He pulled away, kissing down her neck. “Pet-“ she whispered, tugging his hair softly.

“Just a few more minutes,” he mumbled against her neck, undoubtfully leaving marks. Y/N let out a breath, “there’s a math test tomorrow, I gotta study.”

He pulled away, eyes slightly bulging from his head, “there’s a math test?!” His worried exclamation made Y/N laugh, “yeah, where have you been, Pete. Mr. Hunter has been saying this all week.”

He groaned, “but I don’t want you to leave. I finally got you.” That small display of affection melted her heart. “Trust me, I know the feeling,” she kindly said, understanding the situation and playing with his hair, “but we still have school.”

Peter closed, letting out a deep sigh, “okay.” He dragged out the ‘y’ playfully while it simultaneously held a small hint of disappointment.

She stood up, getting off his lap for the second time that night as she levitated in the air. “Pick me up before school Spider?” Y/N asked as she put the mask on. He smiled as he looked up at her, “you know it darling.”

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #389

Top Ten Things I Want from The Batman

So last week I celebrated the thirtieth anniversary of Tim Burton’s Batman by listing the things I thought he got “right” about the character (“right” being, I acknowledge, arbitrary). This time around, sticking with a similar theme, I’m going to flip the switch and look to the future. Matt Reeves’ long-gestating Bat-pic The Batman is finally gearing up, having recently cast its Dark Knight in the shape of erstwhile vampire Robert Pattinson. The saga of The Batman, its Affleck-ness and its connectedness with the DCEU as-was, is almost worth a movie on its own (I really hope there’s a book written about it at some point, or at least a long-form essay; the ins and outs of what became of the DCEU and the de-Snyder-fication of their film slate is potentially fascinating). At any rate, we’re going to get another Batman film and that’s quite exciting. Especially as it is – potentially – a chance to course-correct issues that I had over the previous incarnation of the Caped Crusader. Ben Affleck was very good, but he looked a bit sad and hefty in the suit (the silly cowl essentially removed his neck), and he killed a lot of people. Like, tons. What’s up with that?

So with all that in mind, and given everything that’s come before, here’s a list of places where I hope Reeves and Pattinson go with their Bat-epic. Or even don’t go! You’ll see what I mean, as we get into a list of things I want from the new Batman, The Batman.

No Guns, No Killing: this is a big one for me. The Batman I love in the comics – most of the incarnations, anyway – is very strict about this. For him, murder is the worst crime, and his whole deal is being Anti-Crime. Therefore he would never, ever kill. Also he views guns as, literally, the “weapon of the enemy”. Even Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy – which is probably the closest to the comics in terms of his “one rule” – had him bedecking his equipment with guns and “not saving” people. Here, I’d like a very strict code.

White Eyes: okay, I’m not asking for an MCU Spider-Man here; I know comics characters have whited-out eyes in costume and that doesn’t usually translate to live-action. But Batman would/could/should wear some kind of eye-piece. Even if it’s goggles that he removes/retract into his cowl. What I want to avoid is the blacked-out “panda eyes” look of seeing his real eyes within his cowl. I just find it a bit daft for Batman.

A Working Batsuit: whilst I’m on the subject of Batman’s Bat-duds, one thing that I loved about the Nolan-verse was that his outfit was sensible. Obviously not too sensible, as he’s, y’know, dressed as a bat, but it looked like a suit designed to fight crime in. The Burton/Schumacher suits looked like sculpted pieces of rubber, no good for movement; the Snyder suit looked like fancy dress with “cosmetic damage” and rubbery wrinkles. The MCU, on the other hand, is great at making superhero suits that look iconic and super-y but also workable; Captain America wears some kind of oversuit with, presumably, armour on the inside, and also a cowl of sorts, but one which allows him to move his head and which looks functional despite also having a dirty great “A” on it.

Sweet Wheels: similarly, I’d like a Batmobile that’s more “car” than “tank”. The Burton/Schumacher films, as was their want, gave Bats a car that was more form than function; going the other way, Nolan and Snyder had heavily-armoured war machines that owed a big debt to The Dark Knight Returns. I’d rather lean towards the former, but really, can’t he just have some souped-up Knight Rider thing that’s fast and stealthy? He’s more Black Widow than War Machine don’t forget.

Heh: Batman has, by his own admission, “a sense of humour that nobody gets”. I don’t want a relentlessly dour grimdark Batman. Give me a Batman who can crack a wry smile or a sardonic one-liner, even if he’s being bitterly ironic. To be fair most screen incarnations of Batman have had some sense of humour, but Batman v Superman in particular was almost relentless in its miserableness so I’m hoping The Batman has a funny bone, pitch black as it may be.

A Real Gotham: although I praised to the heavens last week the Anton Furst-ified Gotham of Batman and Batman Returns, I’d like it if the new film hewed closer to Nolan’s vision of the city as a “real” place. Sure, give it stylised embellishments; make it “New York at night” or some twisted version of New Jersey or Chicago or whatever. But I don’t think we need the ridiculous mile-high statues of the Schumacher films, and the less said about the frankly terrible CGI cityscape from the opening minutes of Justice League the better. Shoot on location, or use really good CGI. Make it 10% weirder than normal and I think we’re onto a winner.

Make Batman John Wick: I love how John Wick fights. He’s all business. Boom, boom, the guy’s down, blam, blam, he’s dead. It’s all about minimalising risk, fighting as efficiently as possible. He gets the guys down because, well, the longer they’re up the more chance that they’ll kill him. Batman should fight like that. As few moves as possible, but target them precisely; nothing flashy or extravagant, just get the guys down. Obviously he doesn’t kill or use a gun (see point number 1) but I want a Batman who looks cool when fighting, looks like he trained with monks and ninjas and assassins and wizards. Basically, let’s have some genuinely impressive-looking fight scenes for once.

Make Batman Sherlock: I have high hopes for this one, as the word round the internet campfire is The Batman will be much more detective-focused than previous films (to this date, the two Batmen who are the most sleuth-y are Adam West and Kevin Conroy). But Batman is supposed to be the World’s Greatest Detective so, y’know, let’s see him detect. Greatly. Er, around the world. Make it a proper crime film, a whodunnit. That’d be good.

Make Batman Weird: not necessarily “Tim Burton weird”, but just give us a sense that this is a Batman who has a sci-fi closet. A Batman who, maybe, has fought Monster Men, Killer Crocs, sentient mud and murderous flora. Nolan’s Batman was super-serious and Snyder’s Batman was super-miserable so whilst I applaud a more street-level focus and a noir-ish tone, I hope the possibility exists for a world full of Man-Bats, immortal warlords, dollotrons, and more.

A Wider World: I really hope this one is viable. The plan was for the Justice League-centred movies to form a spine, telling a story arc over multiple films, with the stand-alone tales functioning as spin-offs. As it turned out, the “spin-offs” were the successful ones, and with Batman being rebooted from Batfleck to Battinson, it looks like the “Extended” part of “DC Extended Universe” is up in the air (so is the “Universe” part too, I guess). I don’t know if Justice League or the preceding films are still in continuity even, or if continuity is still a thing, but all the same what I want from a DC Comics adaptation is a shared universe. I’m not a big fan of Zack Snyder’s incarnation of that universe (too dark, miserable, and po-faced), but I still want to see Bruce hanging out with Clark, teaming up with Diana, arguing with Arthur… I want that feeling you get from the MCU (and the comics, for that matter), that Wakanda going public or SHIELD being disbanded or Tony Stark dying is going to have repercussions in other films. I think The Batman is going to be pretty much self-contained in the same way as Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Shazam, but all the same, I hope the potential is still there. In much the same way as I’m very happy for the film to be a street-level noir with the potential to one day have a sequel featuring Batman and Robin fighting off Mister Freeze in a Bat-UFO, I hope it focuses on Bruce and Gotham with the potential to segue into a Justice League movie or have a sequel set in Themyscira or something. Don’t close off the universe, is what I’m saying.

So there we are. I’m aware that this is, essentially, a fanboy wishlist of My Ideal Batman, coming from a straight white bloke in his thirties who graduated from Year One through Knightfall then “New Gotham” and found his Batman apogee in the works of Grant Morrison. Matt Reeves has his vision and it’s good that he sticks to that (for better or worse, I still would have liked to have seen how Snyder’s proposed Justice League arc had played out – although I am emphatically not a “Snyder Cut” devotee). But I feel there’s a sweet spot between stylised and realistic, between comics-accurate and designed-for-film, that hasn’t quite been reached with Batman yet (The Animated Series came closest). Nolan’s films are obviously the best, but I do think that the more realistic you make Batman’s world, the less realistic he himself becomes, and you make the central conceit (trust fund orphan did a lot of push-ups then dressed as a Dracula to Fight Crime) all the more silly. I’m still a bit sad that we lost Affleck, but I’m very excited by where we’re going to go. I just hope it doesn’t preclude a World’s Finest, Justice League Unlimited, or – heck – even a Robin movie somewhere down the line.

[intergalactic-zoo]

I decided, apropos of nothing, to put on Joss Whedon's Zack Snyder's "Justice League" while doing some work today. I discussed the movie when it came out eleventy billion years ago, and thought it was fine. It's not good, but grading on the curve of every DCEU movie up to that point, it was a solid B-. Sitting in 2021, I remember bits and pieces of it—Steppenwolf looking like he stepped out of an XBox 360 cutscene, the decent cell phone video of Superman that was marred by the terrible attempt to CGI out Cavill's moustache, all the characters sounding like their rough counterparts in "The Avengers"—but not a lot of details.

Obviously the intervening years have altered my perspective on the film, both through the revelations about the behind-the-scenes racism and abuse and through the fanatical and also frequently abusive behavior of the fans clamoring for this version of the film, which absolutely definitely existed and was finished years ago and also needed an additional $70 million dollars and reshoots to complete. 

That perspective has not been altered for the better. 

Against my better judgment, I'm going to watch the Snyder Cut sometime, probably this weekend, so I figured it'd be good to see how it deviates from the theatrical release, like I did for the Lester and Donner cuts of "Superman II" so very long ago. I don't expect to enjoy either one; my feelings on the superhero movies of Zack Snyder are well-documented, and even under the best circumstances, four hours is too @#%*$! long for a superhero movie. But four hours of nihilistic spite dressed up in cinematic deepities and CGI with a sepia-toned overlay is unlikely to be the best of circumstances. 

Will it be better than two hours of the extremely generic re-skinned "Avengers: Age of Ultron" that got released to theaters? There's only one way to find out!

Boy, the New 52-ass character designs in the DC logo opening sure didn't age well. When was Rebirth, like, the year before?

Pretty neat that it's got Mogo and Jessica Cruz in there, though. 

That cell phone scene was a lot better in my memory. Like, the kids with a podcast are kind of charming, but I remembered it being a good Superman moment, when it's really just kind of nothing. Certainly not enough to justify the extremely bad CGI. And is the negative space on the S-shield supposed to look so gray?

Gotham City looks like the background of a Robert Rodriguez movie, but I actually like it here. It feels grimy and a little uncanny, the way Gotham should. A big building with "JANUS" on it in glowing letters and big coal chimneys out of Victorian London are what I want to see in Gotham, along with copious brooding gargoyles and enormous iron statues of Greek gods that you could drive a car on. 

A building that is continually being robbed by either Two-Face or Maxie Zeus

"Batman Forever," for comparison

Ben Affleck's Batman rasp is at least as silly as Christian Bale's. Batman can just talk in a voice, my dudes. I watched bits of "Batman & Robin" and "Batman Forever" to track down the right screenshots, and it's so much better when Batman is a guy with a deep voice rather than a guy who sounds like he's gargling gravel and sand. 

The crook asking "where does that leave us?" because Superman's dead is a little weird given that Superman was a public figure in this universe for literally a year and a half. In 2021, it's a bit like asking how we could go on if Billie Eilish died, except Billie Eilish hasn't, to my knowledge, ever been involved in a fight that leveled a major city.

The maudlin mourning sequence probably should have come before Batman backflipped over a snarling Kirby monster and "Mindhunter's" Holt McCallany hopped around on a rooftop, because I laughed out loud at the unhoused person's "I Tried" sign and I do not think that was the intended reaction. 

And then the Leonard Cohen cover gives way to the Danny Elfman score, and it sounds like "Batman" '89 again. God, this movie really is a mess. 

I appreciate Wonder Woman explaining her powers like she's in a Chris Claremont comic. How long until we get a superhero movie with a proper reference caption? I just want to see a box in "Into the Spider-Verse 2" that says "*It happened in Spectacular Spider-Man #206, True Believers!"

I really wish superhero movies could stop having the scene where superheroes talk about how stupid superheroes are. It feels so self-conscious. Just embrace the concept without being ashamed of it, please.

I also wish we could have dialogue less on the nose than everything Henry Allen says. He talks exclusively in clichés about movement—"running in circles," "standing still," "find your own path." We get it, he's talking to the Flash.  

I keep forgetting that this movie is a fetch quest. It could have worked if we'd seen more than Themyscira before. This could be like that sequence in "Avengers: Endgame" where we go on a little memory tour of the previous films, but instead it's a return to Paradise Island, our first brief, boring glimpse of Atlantis, and a nuclear plant cooling tower. This is one of the problems with setting the "let's get the team together" movie before you've met most of the team or established most of the set pieces. 

The boom tube effect is pretty good. It's a shame Steppenwolf looks so much like a character from a Zemeckis film. I do appreciate that Joss had enough restraint to avoid dropping "Magic Carpet Ride" or something when he showed up. 

Fus roh dah!

Also, I realize the ship has largely sailed on this, but the Amazons are supposed to be an incredibly advanced society; maybe we could stop depicting them as exclusively armed with bronze-age weaponry. 

You know, it's hard to see Lois Lane so...despondent? Demoralized? Even in the wake of Clark's death. Like, Lois was pretty weepy for a few issues of the comics after Superman died, but within two months she was accosting cops and breaking into Cadmus in a wetsuit and punching dudes in the teeth. Lois Lane is a stone cold badass, and the only film in this erstwhile trilogy that came close to understanding that was "Man of Steel."

The frustrating thing about the dialogue is just how obvious it is that Joss knows how to write exactly as many characters as are on the Avengers. Batman just sounds like Tony Stark, Wonder Woman banters like Black Widow until she needs to exposit like Thor, it's just so lazy. 

And so is the backstory of the Mother Boxes. I actually really like the "all the races of man joined together with the gods and the Green Lanterns to repel Steppenwolf" angle, because it makes this idea of uniting as a League into a theme that you could build a movie around (that movie was "The Fellowship of the Ring"). Unfortunately, they do it by stripping the Mother Boxes of anything that made them interesting as a concept and turning Steppenwolf into a low-rent Thanos. Thanos is supposed to be a low-rent Darkseid, get it right. 

I was going to rag on Bruce for comparing Flash's suit to "the space shuttle" in the present tense, when the space shuttle program ended six years before this movie came out, but I suppose Bruce Wayne is a cranky old guy in this movie, so it kind of works. 

Man, poor Ray Fisher, in addition to everything else, having to read this warmed-over Bruce Banner dialogue. 

Not gonna lie, hearing the Elfman Batman theme is pretty great. It's nice that Batman and Wonder Woman have really solid, recognizable motifs in the score, even if they had to reach back 30 years to find one for Batman. It's a shame the other characters don't get anything so clear and distinctive. 

Casting J.K. Simmons as Commissioner Gordon was a pretty good move.

Our first full glimpse of Cyborg is a bit uncomfortable. Up until this point, we've seen him in sweats, so seeing him without clothes...it's like that bit in "Cats" where Idris Elba takes off his coat and even though he's covered in CGI, you can't help but think "okay, he's naked now," a thought you only have because he was wearing clothes before. 

Batman does his "disappear while Gordon has his back turned" bit, and it becomes a gag because only Flash is left behind. Except that we've seen that Flash perceives things at a higher speed than others, so why would he be caught off-guard? Wouldn't their disappearance have happened in basically slow-motion to him? Why did Wonder Woman and Cyborg disappear when Batman did? How did they know to do that? The only reason Flash is left behind is for the gag, because he's the comic relief character right now, but it would make more sense for literally either of the others to be the one in that position. It feels like a "kill your darlings" moment. Like, they decided that this gag was more important than making sense, when they could easily have done a different gag—like Flash noticing that Batman was leaving and stopping him in the middle. 

The Nightcrawler is a bad idea. It doesn't really make sense as the thing Batman would bring to this fight with Steppenwolf, and it's loaded up with guns, which...come on, guys. It doesn't even get a clear enough spotlight to be properly toyetic. 

If you needed any confirmation that Joss saw how much better Quicksilver was in "X-Men: Days of Future Past" than in "Age of Ultron," the Flash is here in this battle to make it obvious. 

God, the "Flash is awkward about being on top of Wonder Woman" gag feels like it lasts a thousand years. It's like something out of a "Big Bang Theory" episode.

It physically pained me to hear crappy Steppenwolf quoting New Gods #1. 

I know there's pathos to Cyborg's character, but, like, is this really the version that they thought people wanted to see? Is this just the Brooding League? I thought a part of the reason for bumping Cyborg up to the big League was to bring in people who love the version on "Teen Titans," but there's nothing of that character here. 

On the other hand, they've sidestepped the modern problem of making Barry Allen act like Wally West by instead making Barry Allen act like Bart Allen with a head injury. 

I really like Bruce Wayne in a vest. 

There's so many things that would have made this movie better, but honestly? I think Superman should've stayed dead. Obviously I love the character, and I even love Cavill's performance, but a movie about  a superhero community coming together and being inspired by Superman's example to be better—you know, the thing Batman says at the end of "Dawn of Justice"—would have been a lot better than a movie where two characters we just met dig up Superman's grave to MacGuffin him back to life. It still wouldn't make that much sense that Superman would have such a massive impact after just a year and a half of public superheroing (come on, Snyder, if you're going to do the Christ allegory, why not give him three years?), but it would have been a better way to showcase what the character means to this universe and to these characters. 

This runs into something I said way back when I first saw "Man of Steel": You shouldn't make General Zod your first-movie villain. I've been comparing this film to "Age of Ultron" a lot, but I'm starting to realize that the entire DCEU—with the possible exception of "Wonder Woman"—is made up of the second movie in each character's respective franchises. Zod should have been the villain Superman faced after he was established, to raise doubts about the character's allegiances and present him with a seemingly impossible threat. Batman should have fought Superman after a movie where we established what Batman's deal is, how he got to be so angry and bitter. The Justice League should have faced an enemy too big to fight without Superman after the movie where a threat and Superman's legacy inspired them to unite together. Heck, even "Suicide Squad" would've been better if they'd saved the "one of our own is a traitor" plot for a sequel, where we might have some emotional attachment to some of the characters. 

Boy, Barry Allen attempting a fist bump with Cyborg and then laughing off the rejection with the phrase "racially charged" hits real bad in the wake of Ray Fisher's discussion about the environment on-set. 

One thing to appreciate about Cavill's Superman is how much he exemplifies the hairy-chested, dimple-chinned version that Dan Jurgens draws. 

And Elfman works the John Williams theme into the score. The motif works well the first time, less so the second when he's trying to kill the Flash. Hitting it in a more minor key would have been nice. Again, it's a shame they had to go literally forty years back in time to find a recognizable Superman theme when there were two Superman movies leading up to this. 

This fight between Superman and the League is bad and unnecessary, but the bit where Superman reacts to Flash in super-speed is well-done, marred only by the incredibly doofy look on Flash's face. 

God, Cavill doing the gravel-voice, asking "Do you bleed?" might be the worst part of this movie. Although Lois Lane entering the plot for the first time in an hour so she can say "the sun's gettin' real low" to Superman is a close second. Why isn't she involved in the formation of the League? Why wasn't she a major character in this?

Batman's "something's definitely bleeding" comedy bit feels like something out of a View Askew movie, and not only because it's Ben Affleck. 

Clark's discussion with Lois, "it's itchy," it's yet another jarring tone shift from what we saw immediately before. And the greenscreen work on the farm (reshoots, I expect) is somehow worse than the moustache removal. 

The bit with Aquaman baring his soul because he's sitting on the Lasso of Truth is the closest one of the comedy bits in this has come to actually working for me. 

And then, adding to the "Age of Ultron" comparisons, we're back to fighting an enemy in a small Eastern European nation. The red skies are a nice touch. The Batmobile's 50-caliber cannon and chainguns, less so.

Did...did the Flash just say "oh snap"? 

And Aquaman saying "my man" to Cyborg with the exact same inflection as Bradley Cooper in "Get Out" is another one of those real uncomfortable moments. 

And then Batman gets a laser gun, because why not? 

Superman asking "how can I help" and then rushing off to save civilians is maybe the best moment for the character in the entire DCEU. It's also nice that Superman gets a moment to help more or less each character with their individual missions. 

And then Wonder Woman drops the "I work with children" line, which is the best line Black Widow gets in this movie. 

Cyborg gets his "booyah" moment, which feels forced but at least makes some sense with his character arc. Flash gets his fistbump. Not-Sokovia gets to be the setting for a Jeff Vandermeer novel, and the team gets their triumphant moment in the sun. 

We're on to denouement, and Lois gets the closing narration, which is mostly fine. It would work better if she weren't basically a cameo in the movie. I do like that it ends on "look, up in the sky," and that Cavill finally gets a chance to do the shirt pull. 

Except that's not the end. First we get the beginning-of-credits scene with the Superman/Flash race, which is cute but unnecessary. And then a truly awful cover of "Come Together" before the post-credits sequence where Lex Luthor meets up with Deathstroke and his truly ridiculous dye job. 

In summary, Joss Whedon's Zack Snyder's "Justice League" is a bad movie. In fact, it's several bad movies stitched together into a shambling bad movie Frankenstein. And tomorrow I'm going to watch Zack Snyder's Zack Snyder's "Justice League: The Snyder Cut," which is getting surprisingly positive reviews. I do not expect to enjoy it, because I really don't think my problems with this movie will be fixed by making it broodier and longer, and my track record with enjoying Snyder's films is basically nonexistent. But I'm watching it, because I'm a glutton for punishment, and at least if I do it while I'm still on vacation from Twitter, I won't be tempted to join in the undoubtedly toxic discourse. 

[rhysie-cakes314]

Day 18- Cryptid

This chapter makes a reference to the chapter "Revenge."

I love Tony and Clint together. I think their banter is hilarious, and my running headcanon that they are hyper-competitive and prank each other keeps me going sometimes. So, I decided they needed some alone time. Also 'Tony Talks' are now a part of my avengers family. Take that as you will.

Warnings for vague discussion of alcohol abuse, and mentions of child abuse.

Summary:

Phil Coulson had never seen two grown men this into a debate about Bigfoot. That's right, Bigfoot. He watched from his perch in the corner of the room while Tony and Clint argued back and forth about the existence of the furry beast. They were both drunk, and somewhere between giggly and screaming. Phil wasn't sure he even needed to watch movies anymore when he had entertainment like this right at home.

The story of how Tony and Clint went camping, just to try and find Bigfoot, and came back a little closer.

“There is no way in Hell that he exists and I haven’t seen him,” Clint insisted. “I’ve been all over North America and hunted in every forest. If Bigfoot was real, I would have seen him, and probably shot him. I’m Hawkeye for god’s sake!”

Tony clicked on another blurry video of the supposed cryptid. “You of all people, Clint,” he shook his head. “I thought if anyone would be a believer-”

“Me!? I can’t believe you of all people think he could exist! You’re the genius scientist! Why would there be one singular example of a species that has lived all this time, never been caught, or even caught in a clear picture? With modern cameras? You basically have to try to make a picture or video with that bad of quality,” the archer gestured wildly at the screen, spilling some of his drink.

Tony jumped to his feet and staggered over to the bar. He was pouring more liquor. This had been his first night off in weeks, and damn, he had needed this. The glass slid away from him as he recorked the bourbon. Tony stared at the spot it had been, confused. Tilting his head and reaching forward to investigate, he suddenly noticed the figure in his periphery he somehow hadn’t noticed. Maybe he should stop.

Phil watched the debacle, amused. It took the genius and embarrassingly long amount of time to notice him sitting there at the bar. “I think you’ve had enough,” he commented, and Tony was looking at him blankly. Then it all must have clicked into place, because Tony was laughing and slapping Phil’s shoulder.

“Whatever you say, Agent no-fun, I’m a-okay!” Tony spun on his heel, making to head back towards the couch where Clint was engrossed in yet another video. The two had somehow ended up on the topic of Bigfoot towards the end of movie night, and had been arguing about it since. The world spun just a bit further than he expected, and Tony stumbled, landing half standing, half in Phil’s arms against his lap. He looked up and met the agent’s gaze and winked. “You come here often?” he dropped his voice down to a sultry tone.

Taking everything in stride as usual, Phil just raised an eyebrow, looking down at his inebriated friend. Tony saw the way his lips twitched, though, and he grinned, victorious. An almost smile! That was basically the equivalent of a guffaw from Phil Coulson.

“Hey! Get off my man!” Clint called from the couch. That seemed to remind Tony of their debate. He pushed off Phil, flirtation forgotten, and jumped onto the couch, sticking his socks in Clint’s face. The squawk he let it out was totally worth the ensuing wrestling match that ended up with Tony pinned on the ground.

“Uncle!” Clint let up and Tony rolled over, deciding the floor was fine anyway. “Seriously, though, we’ve been to the Savage Lands! We’ve met monsters galore, plus he could just be a mutant, only one explained. Boom.” He threw up a fist in victory.

“You’re cracked. Oh, Steve!” Clint noticed the man enter the room first. Everyone besides the three of them had left the room a long time ago, and Steve was in pajamas now. “Tell your boy-toy that Bigfoot is a myth.”

Steve and Phil shared amused expressions across the room. It was nice to see Tony unwinding, though why he was on the floor was a mystery. The brunette propped himself up on his elbows, waiting expectantly for Steve’s input. “Well…”

“Keep in mind that I can withhold sex,” Tony interrupted.

“That’s not fair!”

Steve chuckled. “As if you could resist me, Tony. I’d have to say I think he might be real. Buck had a cousin who definitely saw him once.”

“A friend of a friend? How cliché,” Clint scoffed over Tony’s loud ‘ha!’

“You know what? I’m gonna prove it.” Tony sat up, pointing an accusatory finger at his adversary. “You, me, we’re going camping for the weekend. JARVIS, calculate which forest will be most likely to have Bigfoot.”

“Of course, Sir.”

Steve reached out a hand until Tony took it to stand up. “Come on, Tony, you hate camping. Remember the spider-bite?” That had been a terrible adventure.

“I hate allowing Clint to think he’s won more,” he replied very seriously. “Plus this time we’ll actually have a way to call for help if we need it.”

“According to the most believable sightings and the climates which would best suit the creature in October, I suggest you camp in Sierra National Forest of California.” JARVIS said.

“Wait, don’t I get a say in this?” Clint asked. Tony crossed his arms with a smirk, knowing Clint wasn’t going to pass up the chance to embarrass Tony with a bet. “Okay, you’re right. You’re on, winner gets to choose loser’s songs for the next karaoke night.”

“Perfect. We’ll leave tomorrow and come back on Monday.” Steve crossed his arms, pursing his lips in annoyance until Tony added, “As long as Cap’s alright with it, that is.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “But don’t forget how cold it is at night this time of year.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, mom.”

…

One of Tony’s jets was parked outside the western edge of the forest. Grabbing their packs, Tony and Clint began their hike to find a good campsite near coordinates JARVIS gave them where they were most likely to encounter Bigfoot. “How are we going to entertain ourselves for three days?” Clint asked, mostly thinking aloud as they walked.

Tony thought about that, realizing he had never spent this much time with just Clint before. What if they got sick of each other? What did Clint like to do? Tony assumed he probably enjoyed shooting things, knew he enjoyed video games but that wasn’t really possible out here… “Good question. We could play games or something, maybe you could teach me to shoot with a bow.”

The way the archer’s head whipped around with a wide grin was a little scary. “You’d really want to learn? I could show you so many tricks!”

Tony held up his hands, “Whoa there, Robin Hood, don’t get ahead of yourself. I’ve never even shot a regular target with your primitive weaponry.”

Clint got that mischievous glint to his eyes that Tony had learned to be wary of. “You’ll regret calling my weaponry primitive by the end of this weekend, mark my words.”

Tony smirked. “I doubt it. I was a weapons designer, remember? A handgun seems a bit primitive to me.”

The archer raised both eyebrows in disbelief, the hint of laughter there. “We’ll see.” He turned as they continued walking and scanning for a good spot to set up camp. “Anyway, I’d actually enjoy teaching you to shoot, I think. Nobody is ever really interested in it.”

“Yeah, it could be fun,” Tony replied warmly. “I like learning new skills.” They came upon a small clearing that seemed as good a spot as any and wordlessly agreed to set up camp. That finished, Clint’s stomach decided it was the perfect time to rumble. “Let’s save the lessons for later though, you sound hungry. You hunt I’ll make a fire?”

“Sounds good to me. I bet I can have an animal ready to be cooked before you finish setting up the fire,” Clint prodded, wiggling his eyebrows. It was a stupid look.

“Oh, you’re on.” They both took off in opposite directions in a rush, Clint with his bow, and Tony to gather wood. Clint may be a perfect shot, but he was crazy if he thought he’d win this one. He had to find an animal, kill it, lug it back, skin it, and butcher it. All Tony had to do was gather wood, use some rocks to border a pit, and get some tinder. It’d be a piece of cake.

The last log of Tony’s little log cabin pyramid set up he had going and stepped back to admire his work. If Tony Stark was going to build a fire, it was going to be the best fire you’ve ever seen. He wondered idly if the two of them were capable of not competing. Looking back, everything they did tended to take on at least a slightly competitive quality. The curiosity as to why, now that he’d noticed it, was going to eat him up until he figured it out. Maybe Clint would have a good idea about it.

The tinder on top of the base, surrounded by the other logs above and beside, was not lighting the way it should. Clint had already dragged back a mule deer and was nearly finished skinning the giant buck, and Tony’s perfect setup wouldn’t light. He had read plenty on camping, used to do it with JARVIS even, Tony knew how to start a fire, damnit. The problem was that everything was damp. He hadn’t noticed it on the hike here, but it must’ve rained recently. That damn hawkeyed archer had probably noticed it and that’s why he was so confident in the bet. Tony narrowed his eyes in concentration, Clint was forgetting that he was a genius. He’d solve this.

“Having trouble over there?” Clint asked smugly.

“No, you?” Tony shot back.

“Nope! Almost finished.”

“Good for you,” Tony muttered. Remembering an accident that happened once in the lab, he suddenly had an idea. The flurry of movement caught Clint off guard, and he watched with interest as Tony pulled out his cell phone and quickly disassembled it, holding up the battery in triumph. “You lose, Barton!” Clint gaped in a mixture of awe and horror as Tony reached up his shirt and pulled out the arc reactor. Tony’s face only showed a small twitch that indicated Tony feeling a thing. Tony took the wire that connected the reactor to the electromagnet, and touched it to the uncovered metal of his phone’s lithium ion battery. The resulting sparks were numerous, and hotter than what someone can get with banging rocks together or twirling sticks by hand. Despite the dampness, the kindling burst into flame, and the fire continued to burn steadily after that. Tony yanked his hands back, only catching a few sparks on his skin. “Agh! Youch, that’s hot.” He hissed. Sitting back from his crouch and recasing the reactor, Tony met Clint’s stare with a satisfied grin.

Tony Stark was a madman. Clint couldn’t believe he was only just now finding out. They had lived together and worked together for years, but he had never imagined how mad the genius was. “What the actual fuck?” he blurted out.

Not the reaction he had been expecting, Tony studied Clint’s horrified expression. “What do you mean?” He gestured to the fire he had created with his genius, “Fire lit, I win.”

“You took out the thing that keeps you alive and destroyed your cell phone just to win a stupid contest against me!?” Clint’s voice rose a few octaves. He was kind of feeling off-kilter. Maybe going to the woods alone with a mad-scientist wasn’t a great idea. At least for his mental health.

Somehow, Tony looked even more confused. “It’s not like I die if it’s only out for a few seconds, chill. Plus I’m a billionaire, maybe trillionaire I don’t remember, Pepper would know, but the point is I can replace my phone battery no problem. You’re just salty I won.” Tony crossed his arms with a smugness the situation surely did not warrant. “C’mon, get the food finished, I’m hungry.”

The archer shook his head in disbelief, returning to his work. When Tony put it that way, it seemed almost logical, but Tony always managed to make crazy things sound logical. The man had burned himself with sparks from a device he needed to live like the risk was a non-factor. He was bringing this up next time Cap or Phil tried to harass him for being reckless. Tony made him look like the most cautious man alive. He decided to put the image of Tony pulling out the reactor out of his head. It was playing over and over in his mind, and Clint wouldn’t have thought he’d be so affected by a simple action like that, but to him it had looked akin to someone stabbing themselves or something. And that was his friend, his family member. All of the Avengers probably subconsciously equated the blue light in Tony’s chest with him being alive.

By the time they were done eating and packing away the leftovers in bear-proof, freshness-preserving containers of Tony’s design for dinner, it was somewhere in the late afternoon. “So,” Clint ventured. “How are we going to find your mythical creature?”

“Possibly mythical,” Tony corrected automatically. “I thought about the spread of sightings and decided that Bigfoot is most likely a species and not just one creature, but it probably doesn’t live in packs, given that no one has ever seen multiple together.”

Clint rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe Tony believed this stuff. “Or that I’ve never seen any,” he muttered.

“Hush. You asked for the plan. Anyway, I think we can stay within this one general area, because each Bigfoot probably stays within their territory that they mark, probably with urine. It’d be much harder to find one in three days if we were going on the assumption of only one in the entirety of this forest. JARVIS and I agree that the species is probably nocturnal, so I thought you and I could take shifts at night a little ways away to see if we can spot him, since he probably wouldn’t approach the campsite.” Tony rummaged around in the tent behind him, pulling out his bag. “I brought us night-vision goggles!” he held them up in excitement.

Clint snatched one, examining it closely. “You thought this through more than I expected,” he admitted finally.

“Well duh, I think everything through,” Tony scoffed. Given the myriad of instances Clint could cite where that was clearly not the case, he decided it was a pointless debate. He would never win it without one of the others to back him up.

“We’ve got lots of daylight left, then, wanna learn to shoot?”

Tony shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

They practiced for hours. Tony was surprisingly promising for a novice, but he struggled to hold the arrow back without shaking, which made aim difficult. “I’m trying to be still, but it’s so hard to pull back!” he whined. Clint laughed but with no malice. He could still remember what building up the muscles for this was like, and Tony probably never needed to use his trapezius, deltoid, and triceps with his fighting style. The man was lean and strong, had to be to pilot the suit, but his upper back was not his strong suit. “I’m going to be so sore tomorrow,” Tony sighed, letting loose another shaky arrow.

“You’re a natural though,” Clint encouraged. Tony scowled like he didn’t believe it. “What, would I be the one to lie to make you feel better?”

“You’ve got a point, bird-brain.” They got dinner and decided Clint would take the first shift of the night, since Tony’s body was more worn out from their archery lessons. Clint decided to talk Tony into something more relaxing tomorrow.

…

The night had been uneventful and boring as hell. Clint nearly fell asleep on his branch a couple times purely out of boredom. Tony reported a similar experience, but was still confident in his endeavor to prove the existence to Clint. Plus, the weekend was going to be a success for him either way.

“We should go swimming today,” Clint decided halfway through their late morning meal. It was nice to have no schedule to keep, and he was actually shocked that Tony had come up with the idea given this was usually his crazy work month. Whatever was motivating the change, Clint enjoyed a less manic Tony. The genius could get too high strung.

Tony spluttered a little, coughing before drinking some more to calm down. Clint hadn’t even noticed that he was drinking from a flask, and not his water bottle. He frowned. “Perhaps not,” Tony finally managed. When no further explanation came, Clint pressed it.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to,” Tony snapped. He looked surprised himself at the harsh reaction. “Sorry, I just, I don’t like swimming.” The discomfort was obvious.

This wasn’t their thing, Tony and Clint didn’t talk feelings, they goofed around and teased each other. Everyone on the team had had at least one of their ‘Tony Talks’ as they had been deemed, everyone except Clint. Clint heard about them only in hearsay, but a Tony Talk was apparently always eye-opening for both parties. Tony kept things close to his chest for the most part, Clint did too, so whenever a Tony Talk did happen, whether it was because the two people got really drunk, or because a duo mission got unexpectedly serious and adrenaline pushed truths out of the closet, it was a big deal.

Clint never took it personally, their relationship was fine as it was. Friendly rivalry and casual fun defined most of it, but they both knew they’d do anything for each other.  And if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he wanted a Tony Talk. There’s no way he would escape without revealing himself as well, and there was a reason only Nat and Phil really knew him. Giving people your trust was a very dangerous game. Whenever he thought about trying to be more open, Barney’s face haunted his dreams to remind him that even your brother can turn on you.

But Tony and he were gonna be here all weekend. Maybe this was finally the time to let their relationship grow, even if only a little. Plus, Tony had chosen to take a break in his busy schedule to go on a trip with him. There had to be something more to that than just Bigfoot, right? Tony hated camping. He felt like he owed it to the genius a little to try to be there, not just shrug off the man’s discomfort.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly. Tony looked over, surprised, then quickly averted his eyes.

“I mean, it’s not a big deal,” he muttered.

And Clint could leave it at that. But this was so uncharacteristic of Tony. He was usually all bravado and deflection, this seemed unsure. The man who practically lead the Avengers as much as Cap made it clear when you weren’t allowed to broach a subject. This was only a half-hearted deflection; Clint took the leap that he wanted it pushed.

“Tony, look at me.” Tony looked like it pained him to do so, but he also looked grateful when he saw that Clint was taking this seriously. “It clearly is something, and you need to know you can tell me anything. I know we fool around a lot, but I would never make fun of you for anything real. You know that, right?”

Tony nodded. He bit his lip, unsure. “I know, it just always sounds stupid when I say it out loud.” He shifted into a more comfortable decision. “I don’t like it when people see my chest,” he admitted with a blush.

That… was not at all where Clint had thought this was going. He kind of thought they were going to get into a PTSD talk about the torture in Afghanistan, which Tony’s file was vague on but Clint knew it involved semi-drowning. The bastards hadn’t even waterboarded Tony, no, they literally held him down in barrels. The risk of actually drowning was real. But no, now that he thought about it, Clint had never seen Tony shirtless. He’d seen pictures of course, anyone with the internet could, but they were all from before the arc reactor. Clint wondered if all the women Tony had still had one night stands with after had seen him, or if he’d just kept his shirt on during sex. “I don’t have any glowing parts, but I’ll show you my scars if you show me yours?” he tried to keep it light, let Tony know it was okay if he didn’t want to, but toe the line so the man didn’t think he was being mocked.

Tony studied his friend’s face. And they were friends, he knew that, but he also knew that he and Clint had never really talked about serious stuff. There was sort of an unspoken agreement that if one of them came to the other upset, it was to escape talking about it, to escape everything and just get drunk and be stupid. This was new territory, but Clint didn’t show any hint of this being a game. “You first.” he eventually broke the yawning silence between them.

Clint didn’t say anything, just took off his t-shirt and placed it in his lap. He had never been self-conscious about his body before, but being studied made him feel a little like squirming.

“Tell me what they’re from, please,” Tony said quietly. It was so strangely intimate, but it also didn’t feel weird like it should. This was his drinking buddy, but also the guy who had to have his back on the battlefield. If he could let Tony hold his life in his hands, which he definitely has before, then he can talk about scars.

So he did. “This one here was from my dad, where the belt buckle caught me just right,” Tony just nodded, face blank. “Um, this one was me getting caught on a barbed wire fence while robbing a mansion, that was in my Circus of Crime days. These two are both stab wounds from pocket knives in different bar fights. The one over here is from Barney.” Clint swallowed. Tony gave him a small smile; it said ‘I understand.’ “And this one was a sniper shot in Budapest. I can’t really remember the smaller ones.” He shrugged. There were so many scars over the years, it wasn’t really possible to keep track.

Tony scrubbed his hands over his face, looking his age for once. It was easy to forget that he was older than most of them, well, older than all the naturally aging people. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to do that, this is so weird, I’m being stupid.”

“No, you’re not,” Clint cut him off. “And it’s okay. Sometimes things have to be a little weird to feel safe. We’re family. If talking about scars makes you feel okay about yours, then I have no problems with it.”

Tony looked so lost for a moment, eyes glassy, but he blinked and he was fine. Clint could almost believe he had imagined it if Tony didn’t take a long drag from the flask he brought. “Right. Yeah. Um,” he paused, “oh fuck it.” He pulled off his t-shirt and it all made a little more sense.

Sure, Clint had a lot of scars, like anyone in the hero business that didn’t have special healing factors, but Tony’s scars weren’t normal. The skin around the arc reactor was all scar tissue, jagged and pink, with longer scars here and there jutting out like hands on a clock. It had never really occurred to Clint before just how much of Tony’s chest must be missing. A lot of the sternum was probably gone, which meant the ribs there were probably a little more free floating than they should be. That or wedged against the metal. There’s no way his heart and lungs weren’t being pushed out of the way by it, misplaced. He knew how big the reactor was, how had he never thought about this?

The rest of Tony’s obvious scars were ones Clint knew about, things that had happened since the Avengers Initiative began.There were other smaller ones, but they might as well be invisible next to the chest piece. Clint realized he had been staring, and looked up to see Tony watching him nervously. “I don’t really need to tell you what they’re from, do I?” he asked, sarcastic smile plastered on his face in an attempt to hide the fear. This is when Tony always expected people to run screaming.

Clint allowed his own lips to form a lopsided smile. “No, I suppose you don’t. Thank you, for trusting me.”

Tony gave a jerky nod. “Let’s just get it out of the way, because I know you’re thinking about it. Ask whatever questions you want then we can go swimming and stop being mushy.”

The bluntness surprised a laugh out of Clint. “That’s fair, I am curious. Does it affect your breathing?”

“My lung capacity is diminished by about 40%, a little more on my left than on the right since my heart’s being shoved over that way.”

“Do you feel it?”

“Everyday. I forget about it sometimes, but it’s still that cold, hard, knot in my chest making it harder to breathe. It took a long time to get used to.”

“Does the casing ever burn you?”

Tony actually chuckled, and it seemed like this was getting easier. “Well I can’t go suntanning anymore. Actually, the bigger problem is in the cold, the metal gets colder quicker, and it kind of saps the heat away from its surrounding. So I get hypothermia a lot easier. I think the scar tissue is the only reason I haven’t gotten frostbite from it.”

“I can’t believe you built that in a cave,” Clint admitted. It was probably the one thing that had always impressed him the most about Tony.

“It’s not like I wasn’t surrounded by tech to scavenge from,” Tony shrugged it off. “They gave me whatever I asked for, thought I was building a bomb.”

“Just take the compliment, shellhead. Let’s go swimming.”

…

Somehow a relaxing swim in the stream turned into another contest. Tony decided that they should race. When that ended predictably (hadn’t they just talked about Tony’s lack of lung capacity?) Tony suggested they see who can catch a fish with their bare hands first. Clint almost felt bad when he won that too, the way Tony slumped in defeat for a moment, but it was quickly shrugged off. Overall they had a good time.

They decided to stick with the same schedule for watch that night. Tony was confident that this was the night. Bigfoot was gonna show. Clint nestled into another tree with his night-vision goggles on, bow on his back. He scanned the forest, seeing the occasional fox and hearing some coyotes in the distance. The wind chill was worse up in the trees, so he hugged his arms around himself to keep warm. It seemed a little unbelievable if he let himself think to hard about the fact that he was sitting in a tree in California in the middle of the night all because Thor had asked about the ‘Midgardian Bigfoot’ he had heard about on the ‘internets.’

Tony was ready. It hadn’t been part of the plan to have a heart to heart that day, but it definitely worked in his favor. Clint’s guard was down more than usual. He seemed slightly less hypervigilant than usual around Tony, and it had to be a subconscious trust thing. Granted, slightly less hypervigilant from the great Hawkeye still meant very hypervigilant, but this was Tony’s best chance for revenge. Tony was going to break Clint’s winning streak in their scream contest this year if it killed him. Well, not literally. Probably.

Natasha had been helping him learn to sneak better. He was already naturally light on his feet, plus he had the advantage of being light, but no one was better suited to sneaking than Black widow. Tony liked to think he had gotten pretty good. The tent made no sound as he exited, and he carefully avoided every leaf or twig as he approached the tree Clint was in. He looked up, studying his best chance, calculating lengths from one branch to another compared to his arm’s reach, as well as which branches could most likely hold his weight. Plan mapped out, he silently began the climb up the tree behind Clint’s. The archer wasn’t even scanning in the direction of the tent since they assumed that’s not where Bigfoot would be.

The slight rustle in the leaves above Clint only happened during a breeze, so he thought nothing of it. Just once, he heard a sudden rustling noise, but when he looked up, a bird was flying away into the night. There was no reason to expect anyone out here. It was an impromptu trip. So when the branch just behind him made a cracking noise, he moved on instinct, decades of training taking over in an instant.

Of course the last fucking branch was Tony’s only miscalculation. It must have already been structurally compromised on the underside, because it was definitely big enough to hold his weight with no sound this close to the tree trunk. The cracking sound gave him away, so it was now or never. “Boo!” he yelled as loud as possible just as Clint screamed and suddenly he was falling backward.

The archer watched helplessly while Tony fell to the ground below, the thump of his body landing in dead leaves and rolling a little making him wince. How had he thought sneaking up on a trained SHIELD agent was a good plan? Clint had efficiently flipped the assailant over, knocking each hand roughly to disarm him in case, and let go to watch them fall. There was no way he could’ve known it was Tony until it was too late. Everything had happened so fast, plus with the night vision goggles on, Tony looked kind of like a blurry bright blob, details like his goatee disappearing in the resolution of the lenses. Clint took the goggles off and strapped them to his belt, quickly climbing down after Tony. His natural night vision was better anyway.

“Tony! Oh my god, please be alive.”

Tony was still lying on the ground, but Clint could see he was moving as he neared the bottom. He groaned. “I win!” he taunted, raising his head to look at Clint before dropping it back to the ground. “Ow.”

Clint knelt down beside him, doing a cursory once over. “You are not seriously talking about the damn scream contest right now, are you?” This solidified Clint’s theory from the day before. Tony was an actual mad man.

“But I finally beat you,” Tony actually whined. Clint kind of wanted to slap him.

“Where are you hurt?” he asked instead.

Tony went to sit up, hissing when he moved his left arm. Clint let him use his shoulder to grip with the uninjured arm and helped the man sit up. “Not sure.” Tony wiggled different parts of his body, occasional hisses and yelps. “Definitely left shoulder and arm, right ankle, and possibly a couple ribs. I must’ve done something to my ankle on the branch when you ninja-flipped me, and landed on my left side, although better than my neck I suppose,” he added as an afterthought.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Clint let his anger out, now that he knew Tony wasn’t dying or something. “You know I’m a trained combatant, that sneaking up on me in the dark, in a tree no less, is a terrible idea! Probably the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, and honestly? I thought you were supposed to be a genius and I let it go when you pulled out your reactor just to start a fire faster but seriously, what is wrong with you!?”

Tony was staring at him petulantly, and Clint was reminded of a toddler in trouble. “Can I answer now or do you need to let off more steam?” he had the gall to be sarcastic and raise an unimpressed eyebrow at Clint. He was so tempted to punch the man in the nose and honestly? He’d probably do it if Steve wouldn’t kill him for it.

“That’s it, I’m leaving you here on your own. You can figure out how to hop on one leg back to camp because I can’t handle you right now.” He stood up and began to walk away.

He couldn’t actually be walking away, right? He was joking, he had to be. “Wait! No, I’ll shut up just help me get to the tent at least.”

Clint closed his eyes and counted to ten. How Steve dealt with this all the time was a mystery for the ages. He walked back and silently helped the smaller man up, to lean on him. Tony kept his mouth shut, limping back to camp, where Clint unceremoniously dropped him outside the tent. The fire was still slightly burning embers, so he scooted over, shivering. Clint watched him curl up, one arm cradled awkwardly to his chest, the other wrapped around his knees, and his injured ankle gingerly placed on the ground while he just stared into the glowing embers with a thousand-yard-stare.

The sight made Tony look so small. The anger bled out of Clint, leaving behind exhaustion and pity. He sighed, setting about to rekindle the flames. When he settled down on the other side of the fire, Tony still hadn’t looked away from the flames. “Look,” Clint said tiredly, but Tony didn’t react. “I’m sorry I flew off the handle,” he tried.

Tony shook his head slightly, almost imperceptible. His lips barely moved as he murmured, “Don’t apologize, I deserved it.”

This was going nowhere. He was clearly in one of his Stark-patented sulks. “I guess we’ll leave in the morning?” Tony made a movement that might have been a one armed shrug, but it was hard to tell. Clint thought he caught a mumbled ‘yeah, whatever’ but his hearing aids could only do so much. “Tony, please, talk to me.”

His eyes slid up, meeting Clint’s, but he otherwise remained unmoved. “What.”

God, it was like pulling teeth. Clint growled in frustration, tugging at his hair for a moment. “Can you just, I don’t know, explain it to me?”

“Explain what? I’m really not sure why you’re mad at me,” Tony finally reacted, shifting to face Clint more fully. He looked stricken. “I thought we were having a fun weekend, and then I find out you’ve been, I don’t know, sitting on something about the arc reactor instead of just telling me you were upset, and I don’t know what to think! I can get it if you hate me, it would make sense, but this up and down where one minute you’re telling me about your scars so I’ll feel better and the next you’re yelling at me like a child, I just don’t know what you want.”

The sudden, overwhelming desire to laugh took hold of Clint for a moment, but he thankfully stifled it. There’s no way Tony would take that well. “I’m not really sure how we got to this point either, to be honest. I think,” but Tony stopped him with a finger in a ‘wait a minute’ gesture.

“If we’re about to really get into this, I need to get comfortable,” he started trying to scoot himself over toward the tent with one leg, on his butt, and only the opposite arm to balance. It was stupid. Clint jumped up and was over to the tent in minutes.

“For god’s sake, Tony, just ask me to get something for you.”

“Fine.” And he didn’t need to look so offended at being helped. “Can you grab me my hoodie jacket with the flask?”

Clint watched Tony take a long drag of his liquor while he settled himself back on the ground. Tony motioned with his hand for Clint to continue from before, placing the hoodie on his lap like a blanket. “Okay, that for one. Why do you have a flask this weekend? Do you always have one?”

Tony stared at the container in his hand. “Old habits, I guess. My dear old dad gave me my first one when I was a kid. Always having it with me kind of made me feel like we had something in common.” The bitterness laced through his words. It did give them something in common, Tony knew it. He probably drank too much. But he never piloted the armour drunk, didn’t put others at risk, and that was good enough for him.

“Scratch that, that’s a can of worms we can save for another time.” Tony grimaced but said nothing. “I think there’s been some undercurrent to our interactions lately that I’m not sure what it is, but there’s a tension. Like none of our games are just games anymore, maybe.”

Tony thought about that. “You might be onto something. I admit I’ve been even more averse to losing than usual.”

“I’ll take some of the blame for that, too.” Clint admitted. “I compete with everyone, but I definitely feel more invested when it’s you.”

Tony nodded, like that rang true for him as well. “You’re my only competition,” he said.

That stopped Clint’s line of thought short. “What? Why?”

Tony unscrewed the flask, thought better of it, and screwed it shut again. “Well think about it. Out of the official team, Coulson not included because he helps more in the background, you’re the only other normal human. You and I don’t have anything but our natural skills and tech.”

A lot of little things began to click into place for Clint. “This is about belonging on the Avengers, isn’t it,” it wasn’t a question. Tony nodded, expression twisted in a self-deprecating smile. “I can relate to that. We both have to work harder to keep up with the others. I always thought that’s why we worked so well together, we have to hold each other up to the standards of all the powered ups. I don’t want it to be a competition where one of us belongs and the other doesn’t, I would lose.” He let out his own self-deprecating chuckle.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, you win at everything! My only thing is my genius, and you’re plenty intelligent yourself, so where does that leave me? Sure, I’ve got the money, but I’ll keep funding everyone even after I die. And I’m not going to be able to do this forever, I’m getting older, what if I get alzheimer's or something?” There was a frantic note to his tone.

“And what if I go blind or get a permanent injury? Tony, any one of us could be permanently benched for a number of reasons, except maybe Thor. Even Bruce sometimes can’t control the Hulk, and that makes him a liability. Steve and Nat are hardly invulnerable. That’s the business, everything is fluid and tentative.”

Fuck it. Tony took another couple swallows from the flask. “What are we supposed to do with ourselves when we’re done with the Avengers?”

Clint shrugged. It was something he had definitely thought about, but he preferred to deal with problems as they came. Tony was the one always stuck in the possible futures. “We’ll always be a family.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” They sat in companionable silence for a while, just listening to the crackle of burning wood. “Oh!” Clint startled from his thoughts, glancing up. “Where are your night vision goggles?”

“Uh, I think I left them on the ground when you fell.”

Tony tossed his over. “Here, take mine and go get them.”

Clint groaned. “Do I have to? It’s not like you can’t afford new ones.”

“Quit your griping, birdbrain. I built cameras into them so we could catch Bigfoot on film! What if he showed up while we were gone?” Tony grinned in excitement.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! I was starting to think maybe this was all a ploy just for the sneaking up on me, but no, you really think there’s a cryptid out there.”

Tony looked personally affronted. “Of course I do. Cryptids are everywhere, you sad, sad, nonbeliever.”

The walk back the next morning was slow. Tony had to take a few breaks, but these injuries were child’s play for them. They were still able to joke around and have fun while they walked. “I can’t believe I finally got a Tony Talk,” Clint thought aloud as they neared the jet.

“A what?” Tony shot him an amused look.

“Oh my god, you don’t know?” They settled into their seats after Clint packed everything in.

“Know what!” Tony exclaimed impatiently.

Clint laughed. “They’re a legend. Everyone on the team had had a Tony Talk but me. It’s like a rare look at the real you that’s supposed to always be life altering.”

Tony scoffed. “That’s ridiculous, you’re making this up. Sounds like a Ted Talk.”

Clint just shook his head, smiling knowingly. “Don’t believe me? Ask the others.”

…

The Avengers had been gathered into the movie room to watch whatever Tony was demanding they watch. Everyone had already finished scolding the man for coming back from simple camping all banged up. The previous evening’s dinner had consisted of a series of lectures, followed by a hilariously flustered Tony finding out that yes, Tony Talks were a thing. He had fled the scene then, spending the night in his lab reviewing footage from their night vision goggles.

“Alright, what is this all about?” Steve asked.

“JARVIS queue up the segment we talked about. Lady and gentleman, I present to you, Bigfoot!”

Clint jumped forward off the couch, watching the footage carefully. It was clearly from his goggles on the second night, the angle odd from their spot on the ground. Sure enough, an unnaturally large humanoid figure strutted across the scene, slowed down to a frame by frame. Showed again at normal speed, the furry figure was a blur across the screen. Whatever it was was fast. Unfortunately, because it was night vision footage, Clint couldn’t make out the fine details, but even he had to admit it looked like a Bigfoot. “I can’t believe it,” he whispered as Tony cackled maniacally.