#we can pretend it was repeatedly tho

[earlysunshines]

the nearness of u

chou tzuyu x fem reader ; fluff, smut

synopsis: tzuyu finds her girlfriend at her window and her night a little steamy

warnings: so sweet you’ll have a cavity ; soft smut! ; first time w tzu ; tzuyu receiving + reader giving ; my baby ; my LOVE ; fluffy aftercare ; just soft intimacy ngl ; not proofread

wc: 3.1k

a/n: NOT my best i didn’t proofread LOL enjoy tho!! It’s been a while since i’ve written smut, has it? I can't rememeber

tzuyu’s oblivious to the knocking at her window, her earbuds drowning out everything around her.

you let out a groan. the thought of someone spotting you outside the window and on the small roof makes you anxious. the trees give you some cover, but you can't shake the feeling that you might be seen, especially since you're some girl loitering outside a window, which could easily raise suspicions.

“c’mon chou, just turn to the right…” you mumble to yourself, pouting as you knock once more.

in a desperate attempt to catch her attention, you grab the phone in your pocket, then repeatedly turn the flash on and off until tzuyu’s head perks up.

her reaction is priceless.

she turns away from the book and paper on her desk, tzuyu's attention is suddenly drawn to you, your hand pressed flat against the glass as you bang against it once more. she practically jumps in her seat, her jaw dropping and brows furrowing in confusion and concern as she hurries over to the window.

tzuyu lets you inside, giving you space to climb in.

“what are you doing?” her voiced is hushed and she’s scolding you in a way, watching as you fix the jacket you have on and your loose hair.

you close the window behind you, then lock it.

“i need a reason to see my favorite girl?”

she looks at you unbelievably, “y/n, my parents are still home.” she looks worried now, head turning to glance at the door handle. “you could get caught and i could— no, we could be in serious trouble.”

“i’ll be on my best behavior, i promise. you said they were leaving tonight anyway.”

tzuyu sighs to herself and purses her lip. after seeing the apologetic smile on your face, she decides that she’s going to let you off the hook. she really can’t be mad at you, not when you’ve done all this to see her. it’s kind of very charming, adorable honestly.

she huffs and turns to look at the digital clock above her desk. “they’re leaving in ten minutes, so you better—“

“tzuyu honey! you still studying?”

tzuyu freezes, and so do you as soon as you hear the shout coming from downstairs. her dad’s voice rings throughout the house.

quickly, tzuyu pushes you towards her closet, nearly making you trip along the way. she looks at you with a serious expression, eyes drilling into yours while she keeps a hand on your shoulder.

she whispers in a rushed, cautious manner, “you need to be as quiet as you can, no sound at all. if you ruin this then we’re both—“

"relax, relax, i know," you whisper back, unable to contain the smile spreading across your face. "lips zipped–" you gesture with two fingers pressed against your lips, mimicking the action of zipping them shut. "--now."

she laughs at you like you’re an idiot (her idiot), then looks back at the closed door. quickly, comparable to the speed of a bullet train, she pecks your lips—then pushes you deeper in her closet and shuts the door. you nearly stumble over from how aggressively she shoved you, and the feeling of her lips on yours.

tzuyu fixes her hair, then rushes to sit down at her desk and get back into the position she was in before: eyes focused on the book, pencil in her hand, and earbuds in her ears. 

less than a minute later, the door opens. tzuyu pretends to be surprised, turning toward her mom creeping in as she takes an earbud out.

“hey sweetie, studying?”

tzuyu nods. “yeah, were you and dad leaving?”

“mhm.” her mom hums, “your dad was calling you from downstairs, seemed like you didn’t hear.”

“oh, yeah, sorry.” she apologizes, rubbing her neck. “i was just finishing up this history assignment.”

“it’s alright honey, come down and say bye to your father and i.”

“yeah, of course. hold on.” tzuyu responds, watching her mom smile at her before heading out her room.

she steals a glance at the closet, hoping you caught the conversation through the door, before heading downstairs to bid farewell to her parents and tend to her dogs.

-

when tzuyu returns to her room thirty minutes later, she finds you sitting against her bed, scrolling through your phone. a blush spreads across her cheeks, she can't help but find you effortlessly cute in that moment.

as you notice the door opening, you look up at her and offer a warm smile. you're just sitting there in loose sweatpants and a cropped tee, your hair clipped up lazily. still, tzuyu can’t get enough of you. 

“welcome back!” you beam, getting up from your spot.

tzuyu rolls her eyes at you playfully before you approach and wrap her in a hug, your arms encircling her neck. you pull back slightly, noses almost touching, and the two of you simply sit there, basking in each other's presence. then, you turn your head and press a gentle kiss against her lips, mumbling against them when you part away.

“you look really hot, by the way.”

tzuyu giggles softly, trying to ignore how bad she wants you right now, then playfully mumbles, "shut up," before leaning in to kiss you once more. her hands find their place on your waist, fingers gently grazing against the skin revealed by your cropped tee, wanting to go further.

the two of you continue to kiss for a while, savoring the intimacy between you. it's something you've always cherished – just the two of you lost in the moment of kissing. whether it's in the girls' bathroom during free periods, in empty classrooms, or your car – literally wherever you find yourselves, the two of you share kisses as if each moment is going to be stripped away from you.

as you deepen the kiss, tzuyu groans, trying to compose herself while you play with her hair and rub your body up against her dangerously close.

you pull away, then hold her face in your hands. “so, what’s the plan for tonight?”

“if someone had texted me that they would be at my window, maybe i’d have one. but im stumped, what do you want to do?”

you take one hand off her face, then use your pointer to tap at your chin. “hmmmm…”

tzuyu chuckles, then quickly steals a kiss from you. 

you pout when she pulls away, she giggles again.

your girlfriend's face lights up suddenly. “do you want to watch a movie? what’s that one movie you were rambling about–”

“ten things i hate about you! oh my god, baby we have to, please it’s so adorable.” you plead, looking at her with puppy eyes.

“okay, okay. let me put my stuff away and shower.”

smiling warmly, you gently push tzuyu's hair behind both ears, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks at the sight of her ears sticking out a little more. you then kiss her deeply and nod in agreement, stealing a few more pecks to her face before she heads off to the bathroom.

-

tzuyu finishes showering and sits in her bed, scrolling to find the movie you wanted to watch.

momentarily distracted from her search, tzuyu's attention is captured by the sight of you standing in front of her mirror, concentrating on putting her little butterfly clips in your hair. a smile spreads across her face as she admires you, enjoying the view from the comfort of her bed.

then you turn to her with a toothy smile. “do these look good on me?”

“you look cute.” tzuyu shyly responds, making you laugh. 

“not as cute as you.”

“you’re so corny.”

"you're literally in love with me though, so does it matter?" you retort playfully, earning another roll of tzuyu's eyes.

looking into the mirror again, you're struck with an idea. you turn to tzuyu, taking a few steps to the bed and grabbing her hand, pulling her up gently and guiding her in front of the mirror. with a cheeky smile, you take out the clips from your hair and settle tzuyu down on her chair before standing behind her and placing the clips in her hair. she simply lets you take charge, laughing as you work your magic.

“hold this, my hairs getting in the way.” you mumble, handing a clip to tzuyu. you pull your hair up and clip it again, then part her hair again. “also, why didn’t you just tell your parents i was coming over later, you didn’t have to shove me in the closet. we’re out, you know.”

tzuyu giggles at your little joke that you’ve thrown in, then shrugs. “i was just freaking out in the moment. y/n, you showed up at my window, how did you even get up there?”

“don’t question it.”

“whatever.” tzuyu says, feeling you rake a hand through her hair. “besides, what would my parents think about their daughter and her girlfriend alone in their house, no adults in sight. they’ll probably think we’re like, y’know.”

you pause, looking at her through the mirror and quirking a brow. tzuyu widens her eyes a bit, feeling the rush of heat flooding her cheeks.

“are you implying–”

“no– wait–”

"no, you're definitely implying something," you cut her off, a smirk playing on your lips now. with a mischievous glint in your eyes, you spin the chair around, making tzuyu look up at you directly. "what would two girls be 'like, y'know-ing', tzuyu?" you mockingly repeat her words, teasing her further.

your girlfriend shrinks under you, and then her eyes betray her in the moment, looking down at your chest, and then the exposed skin, the curves of your lower torso.

“tzuyu, what are you thinking of? what would they think?”

“i– um,”

“oh my god, you’re adorable.” you sigh, smiling at her. “you think your parents are going to think we’re fucking, don’t you?”

she goes silent, trying to think of an excuse and make up a lie to cover the fact that yeah, she does think that; tzuyu wouldn’t be opposed to actually fucking you either, but she’s far too timid to initiate anything as intimate as that.

your girlfriend doesn’t want to admit the fact that there’s a little pulse in between her legs every time you two make out, too embarrassed to admit how easily you turn her on even if it's just kissing for minutes.

“oh my god, do you think of us fucking then?” you question, raising your brows. “you are, aren’t you?”

tzuyu can barely conjure words, far too embarrassed to and also really horny after hearing the tone of your voice change into a teasing one. she can only nod at your response, tearing her eyes away from you.

"baby, tell me," you begin, enjoying watching her squirm a little. with a pitiful look, you kneel down, meeting her gaze as she looks down at you, biting her lip nervously. your hand gently rubs her thigh, adding to the tension. “do you want to watch that movie or do you want to do something else? what’s on your mind?”

there’s a moisture forming in between tzuyu’s legs when you talk to her like that, when you look at her like that, when you touch her like that. 

“i– um, baby, please…”

“please what tzu? you know what, why don’t you tell me on the bed. sit down over there for me will you?”

“y-yeah.” tzuyu chokes out.

now she’s on the bed, looking at you desperately, eagerly. she’s adorable.

you shift yourself onto the bed, placing both hands beside tzuyu as you draw closer, your lips inching toward each other. she’s the first to give in, craning her head forward to kiss you.

a hand reaches out to cup tzuyu's cheek as you begin to straddle her, settling both legs beside her. she sighs into you as you deepen the kiss, your tongues dancing together. the ache between her legs becomes unbearable the more you touch her; your hands slide under her tank top and pinch at her skin, earning sounds much more pleasurable than a simple groan.

when you two part, you slide down her body. 

first, you leave delicate kisses along tzuyu's neck, savoring each spot that elicits a reaction from her. you take your time, enjoying the sensations of her responses as you explore her, grow accustomed to her. then you’re sliding her shirt off eagerly, thankful that there’s nothing to cover her chest.

she feels your thumb sliding over her nipple, throwing her head back against the headboard when you do so.

“y/n, ah- keep going, please.”

you press a kiss just under her boob, then suck lightly to leave a slight mark. “of course baby.”

kissing down her body, you meet her shorts, sliding them off immediately with your eager fingers. the next – and last – article of clothing is her underwear. before you slip it off, you look at tzuyu, her brows scrunched and lips parted. you silently ask for approval with a tilt of your head, the small gesture managing to convey a “is this okay?” which earns a nod from tzuyu, a silent way for her to respond, “please.”

in seconds it’s just you and her. her eyes look down at you desperately, anticipating your next move, begging for you to do something about her throbbing cunt. 

tzuyu doesn’t need to ask for you, you seem to read her mind.

a chaste kiss is pressed to her pussy before you lick up her folds, earning a high-pitched whine from her. then you latch your lips onto her cunt, slowly finding what makes her hand tug at your hair harder, which spot she pushes you deeper into, and what pace earns better reactions. 

she likes it when your tongue goes flat against her and right after when you swirl your tongue around her clit teasingly before sucking harshly – that’s what makes her moan the loudest, what earns a stronger grip in your hair.

and so you alternate between your tongue teasing the lips of her pussy, barging in so her walls feel your overwhelming touch, and stimulating her clit. all of it leaves her breathy, craving for more until she’s at the edge.

tzuyu ‘s moans get higher pitched, needier, and god, the mantra of your name encourages you to leave her weak. you look up a few times to make eye contact with her or see her with closed eyes and her bottom lip desperately trapped under her teeth.you can't help but marvel at her beauty, feeling that she's everything and more to you.

“y-y/n–”

she tries to gulp down a loud moan, instead failing and you hear her practically scream your name out. her hips jerk uncontrollably as she finally reaches her high, choked-out variations of your name filling the room as her arousal lands on your tastebuds. you don’t waste time with her, savoring her climax and helping her come down from her high. she’s sweet, you could get used to this.

tzuyu gazes down at you, her nails digging into the skin of your shoulder, leaving behind marks that would linger for a while. despite her trembling, your thumb continues to rub soothingly against her skin, offering comfort and reassurance. you treat her with tender care, paying careful attention to every aspect of her being, indulging in every sense and sensation. 

“shhh, shhh baby,” you mumble against her inner thigh right before placing a kiss. crawling back up to meet her, you wipe a tear that had slipped down her cheek. “are you okay?”

“yeah, god, more than okay.” tzuyu breaths out, meeting your lips lazily. “so good.” she sighs.

“good, you did so good baby. so adorable.” you look at her with a proud smile, admiring the flush of her cheeks and the hair sticking to her forehead. “let’s get you cleaned up?”

she shakes her head before placing a hand on your cheek. “kiss me a little more.”

you giggle at her eagerness. “anything for you.”

-

both of you lay beside each other, breathing heavily, each trying to catch the other's breaths in the aftermath of it all. tzuyu leans against you, hiding her face in the crook of your neck as her bare body tangles with yours.

she mumbles against you, “did you still want to watch that movie?”

you can only giggle before kissing the top of her head. “no, i’m tired. i know you are too.” you respond, hearing the drowsiness in her voice, a product of your intimacy.

“yeah, a little.”

“i know.”

…

“y/n, are you okay?” 

“i’m great, what about you baby?”

“even better.” she mutters, brushing her fingers against your ribs. “did you like it? i did.”

“i loved it.”

“me too.”

“me too.”

…

you let the silence envelop you for a moment, allowing the quiet to settle between the two of you, your breaths filling the air with a sense of calm. there's no awkwardness, just a deep comfort in each other's presence after everything.

“i love you tzuyu, so much.”

“i love you too.”

you wait until she falls asleep first, waiting for her breaths to slow and stay at a steady pace before you let your eyes shut. she’s asleep, but still manages to slip herself closer to you, groaning lazily against your neck. 

you might melt.

-

the next morning, you find yourself lying on your stomach, head tilted to the side as you process the sunlight hitting your eyes. you let out a groan, feeling a trickle of drool slipping from the corner of your lip.

you feel the bed shift slightly as someone sits on the edge of it, and then a comforting hand begins to run through your hair, gently soothing you awake. 

tzuyu.

“awake yet?”

“five… minutes…?” you ask, barely registering her voice. you hear a faint giggle, and then feel a press to your forehead. 

“alright.”

your girlfriend sits down beside you, gently moving your head so that it rests on her lap. she continues to massage your head, the soothing touch lulling you into an even drowsier state. 

tzuyu lets you doze off for a while longer, simply appreciating the moment after a long night. you're now wearing one of her shirts, one she put on you while you were still asleep, and it makes her grin wider, dimples and all.

“breakfast can wait, i guess.” tzuyu mumbles quietly, letting you sleep in for a few more minutes. “sleepyhead.”

she smiles; there’s nothing wrong with admiring her girlfriend – or the dark mark on her neck for a while more anyway.

[snapscube]

on the name thing: i think people want to call you something different because they like you and want to feel like they're your friend by giving you their own quirky nickname. a show of affection or something. that's my good will interpretation of it because it's certaintainly something I can relate to.

also hope this is ok to say, but I miss seeing you doing facecam. you're gorgeous ^^ i respect if you don't feel comfy with it tho, it ain't easy and it's probably much comfier to not bother with it at all lol

have a great day, Penny!

(i know i literally just said im moving on from this but i felt like this idea was worth responding to, AFTER THIS i am moving on guaranteed) i get that! and thats why i stress that i feel this way regardless of intent because the last thing i want to do is cause guilt or demonize people for something that's ultimately pretty common. but even considering your example, with that notion comes a couple problems:

i am not your friend! i do think that there has been a bit of an OVER-correction when it comes to how people think about parasocial relationships and personally relating to people they admire, and generally i like to push back against the notion that having any parasocial relationship is a bad thing cause personally i think parasocial relationships are unavoidable and it's more about your expectations towards that one-sided relationship that become the issue. but two things remain true in either case: i know you so much less than you know me, AND you know me infinitely less than you think you do. so at the end of the day, it is not my responsibility to walk on eggshells about behavior that assumes an intimacy from me i am incapable of and especially uninterested in retaliating.

i have to stress that i am extremely aware it would be insane of me to expect to control peoples actions regarding this on such a large scale, and im also well aware many people come in who are new who get this info for the first time. i repeat the conversation in the interest of introducing those boundaries to people who are new and in general just reinforcing them. i try not to be such a stick in the mud about most things but this is something I REALLY care about, and so i give it the no-nonsense approach i think it deserves. on that note: understanding that there are going to be gaps where people either just do not know about my preferences or simply do not care doesn't mean i have to pretend like i also don't care about it. people can say whatever they want about me in their own spaces, you can call me whatever the fuck you want amongst friends. i do not care cause i do not have the capability to care, it's never going to reach me! but that does not mean i have to pretend to enjoy it if/when it DOES reach me, especially if it's presented as an option for me to respond to. if someone just calls me something weird in a chatroom it's like, i literally do not have the energy or overall scope of vision to react to every one of those instances specifically. there absolutely are things u just gotta let roll off of u sometimes. BUT, the reason we often get into this conversation repeatedly on my tumblr is because given the ask format i get a lot of people who go out of their way to approach me with name jokes or loopholes to an actively established preference as if they are looking for my approval on it. that is where it becomes a little more unpalatable for me.

and to respond to your second question: i appreciate the kind words on that! i sure would like to reintroduce facecam again someday somehow but right now my desk setup is not great for it haha

[kandyzee]

Something I hate when u try defend Debbie, Mandy, Karen, fiona and even Monica is how someone will always come back with the "Frank was abused and you hate him🤡" like yes I do!! Cause its different.

Debbie, mandy and Karen are all teenage girls who show that they have grown from their actions and are better after! Frank is a old man who has had his whole life to work through his trauma and get better. Frank didn't do something wrong and change for the better (in the space or a couple years) like the girls. He forced Monica to keep fiona and did it YEARS later with Carl too. Frank didn't just 1 or 2 horrible things, he did hundreds.

And can we talk about how Frank is a massive factor to why Debbie, fiona, Monica are the way they are?? Frank didn't break the cycle and he abused his kids and his partner. The other 3 actively try not to do that! Debbie is a fantastic mum she's not perfect, but she would never tell her kid to sleep with an adult or insult and belittle her. LIKE FRANK. Fiona spends her life till she is 28 doing everything for her siblings, sure she makes some mistakes, but she would never hurt them on purpose. LIKE FRANK. Monica is a terrible mother, but she tries to get help. She wants to get better, and who is it that almost always pulls her down?? FRANK.

A lot of what Frank does can be explained by his abuse and I really sympathise with him when we meet his mum. I hate that women. But a tragic childhood is not enough for me to forgive a man who has done the following things

-got his very young son kidnapped over a bar bet.

-used a dying woman for money and slept with her knowing she would likely die

-gave his son a bloody nose over a t shirt

-neglected all his children from fionas birth to his own death

-sexually assaulted his wife

-got a convicted pedophile into Congress

-told his underage daughter to sleep with grown adults so that he could sneak into that adults house to sleep

-broke his mental ill wife out of hospital, with the help or his young children

-tricked his son into thinking he had cancer

-tricked his son into being the bio father of 6(?) Kids

-used another mental ill woman for his own enjoyment

-told his own daughter to be "skins" in a game (meaning to take her shirt off 😃)

-forced his 9yr old daughter to become the main carer of all her siblings

-left his 3 very young children on the side of the road while one of them was extremely ill

-lied about being gay to hundreds of people for personal gain

-used ANOTHER mentally ill woman

-became the sponsor to an addict just so he could live with him and later outed him as gay even tho the man wasn't gay ??

-brought monica back into his children's life because he wanted money(he tricked her to coming back)

-has used prostitution services

-steals form pretty much everyone

-repeatedly ignored his youngest daughters attemps at closeness

-hes racist

-seduced his daughter in attempts of getting her liver

-ruined his daughters wedding

-given drugs to a baby with down syndrome

-called CPS on his own kids, particularly forcing his young adult daughter to now legally becoming guardian of her 5 siblings

-creating credit cards under his kids names

-used homeless people to create a second family

-handcuffed his wife to a bed so she couldn't get an abortion

-spiked his kids with drugs

-pretending his kids was homeless and begging with him

-showed clear sexual interest in Karen (a teenage girl)

-tried to strangle his daughter

-He advised Carl to use Chuckie to smuggle drugs, and then gave both of them away for police

-He refused to go Carl's parent night at school, but instead went to Karens

-encouraged his son to be a drug dealer

And that's just what I can remember of the top of my head. So yes FUCK FRANK and love my shameless girls

[gadriezmannsgirl]

idk if this is where you write the requests but i have one for pedri🫶🏼 so maybe they’re just hanging out at home and y/n does that tiktok prank on him where she pretends to be on the phone with her friends and she���s like “whattt ong no way” basically pretending her friends gossiping to her, and pedri being all like omg let me listen put it on speaker

Yes, this is where you ask anything or req something🤣 Celebration fic as I ended my semester✨🌻🫶🏼 got one week of vacation before I start again, also fic celebration for Barça's win and Pedri's goal, so here we go! (Cute Golden fact: Golden Boy, Gavi doing the last goal at CN and Golden Boy, Pedri doing the first goal at Montjuic in an official match🥹🫶🏼)

Working on it, right now, because I was inspired🤭 also @http-isabela SHISME FIC! 🤣🤭

Chismoso -P.G8

Summary: Your boyfriend loves some good gossip

You smiled at your phone watching a girl do a prank on her boyfriend in Tiktok where she pretended to be on the phone with her friends with some "gossip" and her boyfriend was trying to listen to it.

Pedri, your almost three years boyfriend, loved any kind of gossip and whilst you delivered to them nicely to rant about your day or get off any anger, he got his dose of gossip and helped you with your problems.

You loved it tho. It was nice the fact, you were lovers and at the same time the best of friends, trusting everything you have and own into the others arms.

"Amor, estás lista?" (Babe, you ready?)

You smirked. You definitely were going to do this one.

"Si!" You replied grabbing the tray with your food. You pushed your phone in between your shoulder and chin and walked towards your living room. "Help me, please?"

"Hostias preciosa, you could have told me you'd need the help" You shook your head smiling softly

"I had it done until now" It was his turn to shake his head with a smile on

"Who is it?" He asked whispering noticing you were in the phone

"Alexia, she's been texting me non-stop today, she told me she'd call me for something, don't know what it is tho" You replied in the same way

"Baby, it's starting" Pedro pouted as you kissed his plump lips repeatedly

"You can watch it while I'm on the phone, it'll be quick, hopefully"

"No, I'll just pause it. I don't wanna watch it alone"

"It'll be just for a few minutes"

"Venga, bonita" You never resisted his big brown beautiful eyes and that little nickname of his

"Stay quiet" He nods sitting on the couch and you taking a seat next to him, he was the one who pulled you closer by the legs to him "Yes, I'm listening" You said before humming a few times

"Ay joder" You said furrowing your eyebrows as Pedri looked at you "And like she never stops having a few problems with Cynthia..." You made up sighing before shaking your head "That's bullshit"

"Gossip?" He mouths as you nod "Oh, I wanna know that. Put it on speaker" You shook your head <no> "Why not?" He asks but you shook your head "Wanna hear some good gossip" You smiled shaking your head and did a demand with your hand for later "No" He whined, you shushed him up "Want it now" He whispered pushing himself onto you "C'mon, let me hear" You started giggling "Stop laughing, focus on the gossip so you can tell me the details of it"

And with that you bursted in laughter.

"Oh my god!" You said throwing yourself at Pedri who was confused "Oye, no seas tan chismoso!" (Hey, don't be such a gossipmonger)

"I'm not a gossipmonger, I'm just interested in everything you do, speak to or look at, 'cus you're my girl" He tries to defend himself as you shake your head shaking your hand as well

"You're a chismoso" You said in laughter as Pedri smiles

"Chica, the call" He said after a few seconds as you show him your blocked phone

"There's no call, mi niño. I'm pranking you and realizing I have the biggest gossip for Fer and your parents once they came back next week"

"No! They'll be going at it for the rest of our lives!" You laughed as Pedri went ahead and hugged himself into your chest

"I'm preparing everything then" You smiled

"So, it was a prank?" You nod humming once you both calmed down "So there's no gossip? Joder" He lamented and you laughed again, this time Pedri joining too as you leaned down and kissed his lips

"Ay 'jueputa. Mi niño lindo y chismoso" (My pretty and gossipmonger boy) You both laughed, you felt Pedri leave a kiss in your cleavage

"Sólo un poquito" (Just a little bit)

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

[inchidentally]

every day I’m grateful landoscar fandom can draw the line between fun rpf and reality and that we never attracted the rpf pipeline fans who fully flip reality on its head to … and I’m not joking … think that another driver wasn’t trying to win a race ?? he was trying to be on a podium with Lando ??

the absolute delulululuuuu of ppl choosing to not have heard Carlos’ pissed off radio and then repeating it in his post race that if he had Lando’s “luck” with the SC then he would’ve won it instead of Lando. he literally went “fuck, so he’s won it then” in an angry voice and later on doubling down on Lando’s “luck” with the SC and how if Carlos could’ve had that he’d have gladly taken the win for himself he didn’t gaf about being on the podium with his lil buddy he wanted to win instead of Lando and he said so

and that last year when Lando said he would like Carlos on the podium with him for his first race win he literally said “so I can look down on him for once” he didn’t give a shit about anything but finally beating everyone on that track including Carlos which he’s literally said as well repeatedly he’s literally said he has no friends when racing

like these are brotherly yes but still very competitive digs they’re getting in at each other they’re not even misconstrued as friendly shavdjdbejbd

which makes sense since they call each other brother and cabrón but howwww do you mistake any of that for them giving two fucks about their friendship when they’re both wanting to beat the other at all costs like yknow they should as racing drivers ???

ironic tho bc it was Max and Oscar who stipulated that the SC may have been a bit of a help but that “Lando still had the pace even after that” to win like it’s wild how rpf can make people ignore that Max hates being second and still stuck up for Lando and Oscar had had his entire race completely ruined and still made sure to immediately and repeatedly defend Lando against ppl thinking the SC car gifted him a win

again it’s in reality fully normal and fine that Carlos wanted the win and thinking he should have won and couldn’t stop himself saying that even immediately after praising Lando !! it’s just absolutely wild the mental gymnastics to try and see it any other way

and yea I’m so happy our fandom can appreciate the reality of Oscar and Lando as drivers and not desperately try to larry it into insane rpf fantasy. like. even landoscar fic doesn’t pretend that Oscar and Lando are out on the track at any point thinking gosh I’m gonna remotely lose my competitive edge that’s been honed since I was a child bc I looooooove that guy in the other car like we all fully accept that’s not believable even in fiction ajshsbdjsbd

[dangermousie]

The more I think about it, the more irritated by the latest reset I get.

It's funny, because the reset in W superficially was similar (she redid the story so they never met and so she was the only one who remembered) and it didn't bother me at all. I think in some part because it was done much much earlier in the narrative - there was plenty of time for it to develop again and it did (I loved that he never remembered in W, not truly, tho he read about it in the comic), and because it was done only once (some of my eyeroll in LR is because I am getting tired of redos, though yes, I realize the repeats are theme of the drama so that's on me), but in larger part it's because W was a very different and a much more complex narrative.

It really processed at length what it's like to be the only one who remembers things nobody else does, the trauma of loving someone who doesn't know you, the reasons ML keeps being drawn to her despite not remembering her, AND it gave a great reason as to why she erased things - there was no other way to fix anything, the whole world included, as far as they could figure out - not to mention it wasn’t done unilaterally - she did it but at his request. W was a meditation on a lot of things and only some of it was the (admittedly awesome) love story, and it was incredibly and tightly written.

LR, for all its many charms, is a romcom. It's just a romcom. It's not really an exploration of anything else much otherwise. We are not going to get any of the exploration of what it means to fight fate or to love someone who does not remember you in a world in which you have no place. No take on what it means to have the ability to change the world and control it to some degree through your actions or the ins and outs of timelines or what it does to you to fight fate and fail repeatedly, and the trauma one can shove through making the best of bad choices. Heck, the last save and any fallout for Sol happens entirely off-screen. And let's face it, if Sol and SJ actually cooperated and thought for about five minutes, they'd not have ended up on that cliff, so the "necessity" feels contrived.

Basically, it's not really the erasure - it's the way I think it won't really be addressed or explored in any way I want.

I realize that LR never pretended to be anything but what it is - a cute romcom with amazing chemistry and some great acting - so it's a little like going to a steakhouse and complaining you can't get sushi. But the heart wants what it wants so here we are.

[afniel]

Ten years after the end of the Maverick War, X—unarmed, unarmored, disabled, and retired from the Maverick Hunters—takes on a missing person case in what used to be downtown Abel City, until it was destroyed and walled off from the rest of the world. It should have been a simple enough task, but nothing has ever been simple for X. He soon finds himself drawn into a conflict between two groups of Mavericks living in the Abel City quarantine zone, making friends he desperately needs but isn't so sure he wants, pretending to be a version of himself he doesn't hate, and confronting the fact that he has spent so long sacrificing all of himself for a world that gives him nothing in return that he doesn't even know who he is anymore or what he wants out of life. A nap, mostly, but that missing human isn't going to find himself.

I did it. \o/

3½ months, 164,906 words, approximately a bajillion hours of lost sleep, and quite a lot of ADHD medication taken as directed. Entirely finished and posted so you don't have to wait around for updates. I'm proud of me. I think it's a pretty alright story, hopefully.

It actually doesn't require a ton of series knowledge to read and I tried to write it such that most of what you do need you can infer readily enough, so if you don't really even go here, meh! It might still be at least a little entertaining.

I feel like my summary was actually really good, so I'll just steal some of my tags for the rest:

X is old as balls and disabled as hell

found family but it's a bunch of Mavericks?

Don't Worry About It

based on a dream at least originally

X is basically the world's most burnt-out gifted kid ever

everyone repeatedly fails the Stop Picking Grandpa Up 2211 Challenge and X is so over it

the world needs more disabled characters who stay disabled so I made some

also contains a metric ton of aroace relationships

SO many original reploid characters. too many. put some of those back.

contains an absolutely excessive amount of worldbuilding

because Capcom couldn't be bothered and I have to do everything around here myself

featuring reploids as a metaphor for minorities and outcasts

and going Maverick as a rational reaction to an irrational world

no gods no masters no alphas no betas no editors we die like Mavericks

isn't X tired of being nice? doesn't he just want to go ape shitt?

Gods tho I was so nervous actually hitting post on this. I will love you forever and ever and ever amen if you assuage my nerves and leave kudos or comments or even just hits. 🙏 I am super not used to anybody reading my writing and usually in the past it's been a guarantee that I can't continue doing it so I'm really stepping out of my comfy zone here.

[callsign-bunnie]

Hiyaaa. I was just wondering if you could update Slasher Feildtrip chapter 12. Maybe if possible. Really love your work tho, the writing is just amazing, and the characters are so well written.❤️❤️❤️🙏

Hahaha, we're going to pretend this didn't take me months to write.

--

“Mr Parra, thank you for sitting down with me.” Detective Graves smiled at Rodolfo.

Rodolfo did not like him. “Of course.” He nodded, crossing his arms and sitting back. “I think it’s interesting that you’re phrasing this as if it’s a choice.”

“I only asked if you could answer some questions, you’ve not been arrested or subpoenaed.” Graves shrugged, flipping through a notebook. To be fair, they were only at a cafe and Rodolfo had been given the option to not show up, but was he just going to say no to a federal officer? He knew better than that. “You’re aware of your friend, Johnny Mactavish-”

“Soap.” Rodolfo corrected, sighing. “He prefers Soap. Yes, I am aware he was the sole survivor of a mass murder that happened a year and a half ago. I’m aware that the killer was never found. I’m the one who took him to therapy appointments.”

“And… you and your fiance were the sole survivors of another incident.” Graves confirmed, not showing any reaction to Rodolfo’s outburst. “Correct?”

“Correct.” Rodolfo sighed, shaking his head. “When I was sixteen.”

“And your fiance was 17.”

“Yes.”

Graves wrote a few things down and then he folded his arms over the notebook, smiling at Rodolfo. “Are you aware that your fiance’s father was suspected in a long string of murders in the 1990s? He killed several women. The only reason he was never convicted was a clerical error.”

Rodolfo frowned, furrowing his brows. No… No he hadn’t known that. But, it was no matter. He had known that it was always suspected that Alejandro’s father had killed his mother. “No… but I do know it was always suspected that he killed his wife, my fiance’s mother. My fiance has had nightmares over it. His father was a monster, I knew that well.”

Graves did seem a little surprised by that before shrugging. “It was told to me by Kyle Garrick that you and your friend, Soap, didn’t go to the party. You both came home. I have eyewitness accounts, though, that say you were there.”

Shit.

“No. We didn’t go.” Rodolfo shook his head, dropping his shoulders. “My then boyfriend and I got into a really big fight and I was really upset, so I stayed home and asked my friend to stay with me. No, I don’t have anyone who can confirm that, I stayed home.” He was lying, but he wasn’t changing it, knowing better. If he insisted on his story, it looked more believable. “But… people saw Soap at every major event, after the fieldtrip. Hell, people were claiming he was at a mass shooting halfway across the country. You can look at his twitter.”

Graves nodded a bit. “I’ve seen. I’m on your side, Mr Parra. I suspect that the murderer when you were 16 and the murderer recently are one in the same. Do you know a woman by the name of Valeria Garza.”

Rodolfo paused, blinking and then frowning. “I’m… sorry?” Valeria Garza? No, he didn’t know who she was at all. 

“Her mother was one of the women murdered by Marcus Vargas.” Graves sighed. 

“No, I don’t know who she is.” Rodolfo shook his head, furrowing his brows. “Why do you ask?”

Detective Graves watched him for a moment, appearing almost surprised, before shaking his head. “No reason. Have a nice day, Mr Parra.” He stood and gathered his things before leaving, leaving Rodolfo very confused. 

Who was Valeria Garza? Why did Detective Graves look so surprised that he didn’t know who she was? Should he have known? So, he got out his phone and texted Alejandro. I just was asked to talk by that Detective. Why didn’t you tell me there were other women? That your father killed.

The detective asked you questions??

Alejandro.

He didn’t get a response for a long while, Alejandro starting and then stopping typing repeatedly before finally, something came through while he was picking up dinner to take home. I didn’t want you to think I was like him.

Rodolfo wasn’t sure what to say to that, since they’d all agreed not to mention the whole murder thing over text. But… wasn’t Alejandro? Aren’t you? I mean… 

I never raped anyone.

Well I didn’t know he had. But, Ale, come on… You have to understand why the connection might be made.

I’m not my father.

No, I’m not saying you are, I’m just saying that maybe these tendencies come from him, I mean… you got your bipolar from him.

Rodolfo, I’m only going to say this once. I’m not my father and I do not appreciate being referred to as him.

Rodolfo stared down at the phone in his hands. Was… Alejandro threatening him? No, no, that wasn’t going to fly at all. He quickly called Alejandro, taking the bags of food he’d gotten out to the car. Again, it took a moment but Alejandro answered, just giving him a cool hello. “Alejandro Vargas. I’m only going to threaten me. You either kill me or you don’t.”

Alejandro spluttered, sounding shocked. “I wasn’t- I wasn’t threatening you. I wouldn’t kill you-”

“I don’t believe you, nor do I care. You kill me or you don’t, but do not fucking threaten me. I will not live in fear of you like my father lived in fear of my mother.”

“...you really think I would kill you?”

Rodolfo pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing softly, before dropping his shoulders and getting in the car. “I don’t know what to think, sometimes, Alejandro! I close my eyes and I am surrounded by blood and fire. You did that, you caused that.”

“Mi amor-”

“Don’t.” Rodolfo sighed and put his head back against the headrest, staring up at the ceiling. “You kidnapped me. You were going to let my friend die… How am I supposed to believe that you wouldn’t kill me?”

“Because I love you…” Alejandro sounded almost desperate. “I love you more than myself, mi cielito… I adore you.”

“But if you stopped loving me? What if you just… got bored of me? Would you kill me, then?”

“But that will never happen!”

Rodolfo’s heart sank. He knew it was true. He knew that was the case but… having it confirmed was heartbreaking in a way. Reasonably, he also understood that being around Alejandro was a tightrope, teetering on the sides of love and death, but… he hadn’t expected it to ever be so explicitly confirmed. To have Alejandro basically say that “yes. If you fail and you become boring to me… you’re dead.”

He felt tears fill his eyes, but he still wasn’t afraid. More… resigned. “One day.” He whispered. “One day I won’t be enough anymore. I’ll fight you too much, I’ll be too defiant, or maybe I just won’t be fun to be around. One day, that’s going to happen, and one day you are going to kill me.”

“No, no, no, no. That won’t ever happen, Rudy, that won’t- That’s never going to happen because my father killed my mother and I would never kill you, I’m not my father, I’m not him. I’m not.”

“What if you don’t see it like that? I think if you fell out of love with me, you’ll rationalize it that your father was in love with your mother and you’re not in love with me, so it’s not the same. Maybe it won’t be, but you’ll still kill me. Will you even fell guilty?”

“Rodolfo, please. I’m not going to kill you…” Alejandro’s voice was broken with tears, which was a bit of an odd sound, and it did tug on Rodolfo’s heart. He started to feel bad, and he realized he was being unfair. He would be married to Alejandro, maybe Alejandro would still think it was the same. “I love you more than anything, you don’t know what you mean to me. I’m only still here to have the chance to be with you. I adore you… Please believe me…”

Rodolfo sighed and softened. “I do believe you, I’m sorry… I’m coming home, I picked up food. Can you put the laundry in? I forgot to do it this morning…”

Alejandro audibly sighed in relief. “Of course, mi querido. Alex and Gaz are over, by the way.”

Rodolfo paused and frowned. “Like… together?”

“Alex snared him. Exactly like I told him how, isn’t that amazing? Three best friends for three best friends.” Alejandro’s voice was so dreamy, and despite everything, Rodolfo laughed affectionately at how excited he sounded. 

Rodolfo jumped and shrieked at a knock on his window, blushing dark red when he saw it was a woman at his window, rapping her knuckles against the glass. Alejandro sounded panicked, repeatedly asking if Rodolfo was okay. “Yes, yes, just…” He took in a breath, holding up one finger to the woman, who nodded and backed away from the window, and then he held his chest. “Someone just scared me, sorry mi sol. I’ll be home soon.” He lowered the phone, ignoring Alejandro’s extra questions and rolled down his window. “I’m so sorry, I’m on the phone-”

“With your boyfriend?” The woman chuckled, leaning against the vehicle and leaning down. Her accent was very similar to Rodolfo and Alejandro’s, and she had short black hair with aviator sunglasses on. “I’m sorry, your fiance?”

Rodolfo frowned, getting a bad feeling. Alejandro was losing it on the phone. “Rodolfo! Rodolfo!! Don’t answer her, don’t say anything.” 

The woman chuckled, her eyes glancing to the phone. “That’s okay. I can hear him.” She revealed a knife from behind her back and gestured. “Come on, hermoso. Out of the vehicle.”

Rodolfo’s eyes went wide at the sight of the knife but he got out, taking the phone with him. He knew better than to try to fight back, now very skilled at life or death scenarios. “Who are you?”

“My name is Valeria.” She hummed and stepped back as Rodolfo got out before getting right up close to him, putting her face close to his and letting out a slow breath. “Are you religious… Rodolfo?”

Rodolfo avoided asking how she knew his name. “Rodolfo-”

Valeria took the phone from Rodolfo’s hand, and he did almost stop her, but she swatted him away with the knife and he had to quickly yank his hand back to avoid being cut. She put the phone up to her ear and chuckled, softly. “I’m going to savor this, Alejandro.”

Rodolfo couldn’t hear Alejandro, anymore, taking deep breaths and trying to remain calm. Well, it turned out that Alejandro was right, he wasn’t going to kill Rodolfo. Rodolfo was still going to end up dead, though, it seemed. Oh god, he didn’t want to die. He really didn’t want to die. He tried very hard to push down his fear and keep himself from shaking, but it just didn’t work.

Valeria chuckled and pulled the phone from her ear as Alejandro started to scream at her in Spanish, and she turned the phone to speaker. “Valeria, I swear to god, if you do this, I will hunt you to the ends of the earth. You will never know peace, again!”

“Oh, Alejandro…” She tsked, her eyes remaining on Rodolfo. Rodolfo’s heart pounded, his breath was racing, he was so afraid. Valeria reached around Rodolfo and then she put the phone on the hood of the car, smiling at Rodolfo. “Not even going to beg for your life?”

Rodolfo took in a very shaky breath. “I know better.” Was all he could manage as he let it out. 

“Fair.” She chuckled before lunging forward and Rodolfo hunched forward as he felt the knife stab right into his stomach. “Shh…” She cooed and held Rodolfo, the pain forcing his legs to give out. It was visceral, making tears spring to his eyes and he gasped before coughing up blood onto the ground, slumping forward once he was on the ground.

“RODOLFO!” Alejandro was screaming, though it was hard to hear over the ringing in his ears. 

Valeria gently pet Rodolfo’s hair, cooing again. “It doesn’t hurt for too long, hermoso, don’t worry…”

Rodolfo’s vision was already darkening and he gasped for air, but his lungs seemed to just be full of blood, and now he was becoming light headed. The pain had started to fade, just as she said, but so was everything else. He finally let out a sob that took most of the energy he had left, while Valeria helped him to lay down and then she pulled the knife out, causing him to have to release another sob. “...why…” He gasped out, looking up at her.

Valeria sighed, getting out a cloth and wiping the knife handle before laying it beside Rodolfo and standing, getting out what looked like an instant camera and taking a picture. “Revenge. He took something I loved, so now I’m taking something he loves. I’m sorry you had to be a pawn, Rodolfo, but… well he doesn’t love anything else. I could burn his house to the ground, kill all of his friends, but he won’t care. He can get new friends, even new murderous friends. Alex didn’t have a tendency in his body before them, and he managed to convince Alex to kill his mother. Well… I think Farah Karim helped. However… he can buy a new house, too. But he can’t replace you.”

Rodolfo held his stomach as best he could, trying without reason to keep his blood inside his body, but he knew it wouldn’t work, rolling onto his back and coughing up more blood. He could still hear Alejandro screaming his name, and it became the only thing he could hear while he watched Valeria walk away and his consciousness finally started to fade. 

“RODOLFO!”

-

Lucas swung his legs, sitting in his dorm desk chair as he stared at the new picture he’d gotten. Alejandro would be incredibly disappointed if he found out Lucas’s new obsession, but… so what? Alejandro didn’t always know best, even if he was usually correct… Besides, Ghost and Alex were the one who even got him on the scent.

“Yeah… We’re just soo concerned because there’s this FBI agent running around asking questions… But we’re nervous to kill him, because they’ll just send another.”

“He’s blond and blue eyed, too, I mean there’s just a dime a dozen like him, too…”

“Older… I mean, he’s at least thirty…”

Lucas had caught on, quick. He’d only even looked at the detective to satiate them and to also satisfy his curiosity, but… well, one glance had easily been enough because Lucas was immediately hooked. 

O.L.D.

Alejandro had it, though he would never admit it out loud. Diagnosed, too. Alejandro hated the term, likely to do with it’s connection to Anime characters, but it was a family trait. All of Alejandro’s siblings had it, and that included Lucas’s father. Lucas’s mother was actually very spoiled, because his father was obsessed with her.

Which was likely why all of Alejandro’s siblings turned the other way when Alejandro stuck an axe in Lucas’s abuelo. He had threated Lucas’s father and Tio Damian’s wives, which both of them were utterly obsessed with. They all had to know what Rodolfo was to Alejandro, too, and when he threatened Rodolfo… Well, Lucas wasn’t shocked, at least.

But, now Lucas had it too. Really bad… He supposed the BPD was also not helping. Turns out, when your father is obsessed with his wife, he doesn’t care that much about the children she creates.

Obsessive love disorder…

Lucas didn’t think he was that obsessive, though he definitely knew he was. Especially as he took the photo he’d taken of Phillip Graves and put it up on his “dream board”, right next to the rest of the growing collection. Ghost and Alex had been spot on, though… 30 years old, blonde, blue eyed, fairly fit, and very aggressive… Oh, Lucas had done his research. Everything about the detective was like candy for him…

He’d found out everything he possibly could, obsessively studied his exes… He liked feminine males, which Lucas definitely was. Probably hetcomp, but Lucas didn’t mind, as he could more than play into it. He preferred his coffee black with only two packets of sugar, he was a widower, and he wasn’t just an FBI agent, also owning a shady business selling black market weapons.

Lucas was very good at research, especially when he wanted the subject as badly as he wanted Graves. He had almost been afraid that Rodolfo would ruin his chances, as Graves had interviewed him that morning, but Rudy was now in the hospital, so not only would he be out of the way, but Alejandro would be busy with Rudy and couldn’t get mad at Lucas for his little… fixation.

His obsession. 

“Phillip Graves…” Lucas murmured, liking the way his name tasted in his mouth. Like honeysuckle right out of the flower… 

Ghost and Alex had been right to put Lucas on the trail.

--

Hey! Just a reminder that this series and others are ask based, which means I'll only write other parts if I have asks for it! If you want more, go ahead and send an ask for the next part!

Do you want to be added to this taglist? Reply to this post that you wish to be added to the taglist and I will start to tag you in it every time I post it. You can also use this form!

@wittymanatee @Humanmilkerr @vergilnelosparda @cathsolos @thegodofsleep @bl-nk-sp-ce @captainsimcoe @del79jji @stardust-medic99 @thatnerdnamedtj @loartacc @lvndr-swtr @pandanini @chaotic-pastel-science-babe @odelia_32

[toytulini]

it is baffling to me that ppl keep insisting "if its not sprite then what IS it tho?" and seemingly do not...retain the recipes that are being shared. like you dont have to memorize them its just repeatedly "is lemonade not sprite though? how is it not sprite?"

"its lemon juice, water, and sugar"

"is it not the same as sprite?" no we just told u. does that sound like sprite to you. does sprite give you the vibe of juicing some lemons on a hot summer day? the lemonade version closest to Sprite over here, in terms of Being Lemonade, is still Notably Different from sprite, or any other soda, is probably Minute Maid, a highly processed branded lemonade that you can occasionally get from soda fountains (DESPITE! NOT BEING CARBONATED! similar to how they somehow dispense iced or sweet tea from soda fountains) it sometimes comes in a can or 2L bottle similar to soda, in the soda isle. and its Not Soda. its not Carbonated. its Trying To Pretend So Hard To Be Real Lemonade. it tastes like lemonade thats a bit sad. it is far more lemonade than SPRITE will ever be. if yall were simply insisting that lemonade is carbonated, that it was like, fizzy minute maid, that would be less offensive than calling sprite lemonade. which is Insane. good god.

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

thoughts on 4WS? everybody and their mom knows the prelude,but would you be interested in talking about some of the other interesting vehicles with stuff like this?

or maybe other methods of decreasing turn radius?

I love the “everybody and their mom knows the Prelude”. Truly the embodiment of the silicate chemistry XKCD.

But sure! I can’t really say much about 4WS beyond “It’s when the rear tires steer opposite to the fronts to decrease turn radius at low speeds or when they steer with the fronts to increase stability at high speeds, and it really helps make cars be and feel more agile, which is why you see it on the new Range Rover and why you will probably see it in many other cars now that they are all ballooning out of proportion. Cool! Don’t park too close to curbs tho or your rear end will kick out into them and curb your wheels”, so let’s move on to… less orthodox ways to decrease turn radius.

You’d included a GIF of the Rivian “tank turn” which they were going to include in their models only to then not, but I took the liberty to place it next to a GIF of the BYD YangWang U8 showing it off at the latest and incredibly exciting Japan Mobility Salon [for some reason this post is stuck on the old editor so pretend that link is blue] to offer suitable accompaniment

(start at 1:36 if it doesn’t do so automatically)

Hope this will do in lieu of commentary because all I could offer is a demonstration of how many times I can type “what the fuck” in a row. Oh and if that wasn’t enough they also showed one do this.

I am genuinely pretty sure I came up with such a wheel design and then thought “no, this is stupid and absurd, forget I thought that” and then BYD was like “lol, lmao, rotfl even”.

But if you have wheels that don’t make you fear a robot uprising and surfaces that grip too hard to permit that Tchaikovskian bullshit, what are you to do?

Well, turn radius is a function of steering angle and wheelbase, so you can just alter those! Now, one would think the distance between the centers of your wheels would be pretty tough to alter, and indeed, it is. Well, it is pretty tough to alter without getting a wall involved and giving you more problems than you solved, if you know what I’m saying. Let alone to alter it reversibly. But some have done it! Enter Rinspeed, Swiss Porsche tuner turned concept car maker whose staying afloat I genuinely cannot explain, and more specifically its early-00s concept the Presto, a concept car that, once you realize you cannot for the life of you find four people willing to get near that horrendous front let alone in the thing, has the ability to cut your losses and accordionize itself.

“Yahchoo!”

Nice, Ron. And sure, the windshield is borderline nominal, the doors were sacrificed to the gimmick altar so one assumes you must get in Hazzard-style without even having a roof to paint something racist on, and it’s probably illegal in many fun new ways, but at least it’s gotta be a TON of fun.

You know what I suddenly feel like we should move on to something else. How about this thing?

“The Mk1 Golf?”Almost - as seen by the five bolt wheels, different bumpers and barely visible side vents, while this was an ordinary Mk1 Golf, Italo-Swiss tuning house Sbarro took care of that problem by shoving a Porsche 3.3L behind the front seats (what is this, Renault? [again, please record yourself saying “that link is blue” and play that recording back repeatedly over a spinning spiral GIF]). But the thing is, Franco Sbarro saw the whole ordeal and thought “Ah, but the engine that we put right in front of a massive trunk lid is going to need accessing at some point. I must think of the most rational way to accomplish that”, and then made the car fucking open in two. What is it with Switzerland and cars doing this shit.

So yeah. If you were willing to spend an absolute fortune to make your Volkswagen Golf a positive deathtrap, you could, through an incredible and unimaginably dodgy feat of engineering, shorten your wheelbase by a measure I measured at comfortably under two inches. Now, I cannot think that makes much difference in turning radius, but hey, I’ve seen masculinities built and shattered over less.

Fortunately, the wheelbase is just one of the determining factors of turning radius, and the other, steering angle, is a pretty popular thing to increase through aftermarket components because it’s very important in drifting: as explained in this brilliant-as-always article from Speedhunters, since drifting consists of holding your car at a big angle relative to where you’re going, if you want to maintain that big angle you kind of need the front wheels to be able to be at a big angle relative to where the car is pointing.

Unfortunately, your steering wheel doesn’t stop turning just because it feels you got to turn it long enough already - it stops because the wheels are about to hit something. So in serious drift cars the front wheels have to be pushed outwards to keep them from encountering car as they turn. But of course, there is an alternative to pushing the wheels out - pushing the wheel wells in! That, in fact, is the technique employed by the personal driftcar of world champion Piotr Więcek…

….no, not the 800hp S15, I said the one he drives for fun.

Perfection. Indeed, since the last generation Twingo shares its platform with the Smart Forfour which itself shares bits and bobs with the historically rear-engined Smart Fortwo, the engine is in the rear, meaning the front wheels have nothing in between to stop them from turning outrageously wide, making its turning circle great for city driving, city parking, and apparently tandem drifting with an 800hp S15.

But I cannot talk about ways to facilitate street parking without talking about the first thing I ever received by email, in January 2011, or more than twelve years ago (yeah I know, sorry): a video of this car.

Apparently, it was an idea that had existed since the 50s, too!

I find this to be a really clever idea - you already need to bring the spare tire around anyway, and you already have a shaft spinning in that direction because that’s what connects the engine to the differential! Unfortunately though, nowadays most cars -especially the space-conscious ones- are front wheel drive, which would make implementing what already was a packaging nightmare to begin with take up even more space, probably to the point of being counterproductive. Unless perhaps you put the spare in front of the engine and redesigned the differential to *spends the next six months thinking about this*

[menalez]

“but also what does this have to do with JKR? did she retweet it?”

Yes she did (I wasn’t sure how to link a retweet, maybe you can only link the original post idk)

ohh perhaps. some otber ppl said to me that she did retweet that. at this point i’ve decided that im not defending any of these women from TRAs’ claims and i have come to realise i have gained literally nothing from radblr but wonderful harassment and doxxing and being demonised. even though i’ve done the best i could to push this place into being a place we could genuinely say takes racism and homophobia seriously, a place that isn’t actually just white feminism, all me attempting to do that has done was turn me into a target while the “anti-racist” ppl on radblr generally stayed quiet or expect me to be the one person to criticise racism despite me repeatedly saying that this makes me an easy target and makes it easier for the racists on here to just lie about me to dismiss my concerns.

even tho this is a “feminist space”, i’ve been repeatedly presented as: a drama queen, irrational, and hysterical. people had repeatedly tried to dismiss my sexuality and my concerns by bringing up my trauma or calling me “cluster B” (specifically referring often to BPD, a disorder where 75% are women & over 90% are traumatised). people have called me a cunt, slut, whore, and bitch. people sat there debating whether my appearance made me attractive or ugly. people have posted a picture of my mother from her facebook. people were organising sending anon hate to me on their discord servers.

i give up on the people here and i regret ever having believing that this place could be better than it is. not even the popular spokespeople for this movement are people i can stand by. on one end you’ve got polilezzes, on another you’ve got lesbophobic het women, on another you’ve got racist women, etc. how is female class consciousness meant to be built when even the faces of radical feminism in english-speaking spaces cant display solidarity for women of different backgrounds?

srry for ranting but -_- ive reached my limit. ive tried for nearly 6 years now and it seems fruitless. perhaps i was way too idealistic. even women like JKR have failed to do small things like stand by amber heard publicly, or recognise israel’s colonial history, or speak up against the polilesbianism (instead she just posed with polilezzes and supports them while pretending to support lesbians.. lol)

[lafortis]

if you have more modern rap suggestions i'd love to hear them! i really dig 90s/00s underground rap but i haven't found a lot of new stuff that scratches that same itch.

Lemme come back to this later because I gotta go light some stuff, but yeah, pretty much that's just kinda how it is. In terms of west coast hip hop, kendrick and earl have been holding down the lyricism department for a good ten years now (side note: absolutely criminal we never got them on the same track, and I think we're well past the point in both their careers where it would even make sense, but they're big fans of each others work lmao). Earls old shit (I'm thinking of Doris mainly, and somewhat I Dont Like Shit I Don't Go Outside) is more grungy and old-school sounding, but also he was young and Odd Future, so there's a lot of misogyny, shock horror ass lyrics with violence against women as a main theme repeatedly (which he's since recanted aggressively and last I saw he mostly makes fun of fans of his earlier music and by extension himself for being like that lmao), his new stuff is more mellow but also less bar heavy (just imo, some people love it even more). Mavi is someone I haven't had the time to get into much but heard recently, and he literally just sounds like 2013 Earl vocally, but with some solid modern bars and production, so that's nice. MIKE is also seemingly pretty earl influenced, but again, haven't got into him myself. They're both east coast tho. Actually calling Earl west coast feels crazy cus he's so heavily DOOM inspired, almost feels like dudes inspired by him being east coast makes more sense lol. Vince Staples is a no-brainer if you haven't heard of him, he's pretty much the exact description of what you're looking for I think. I started with Summertime '06 because that was what he put out when I was getting into hiphop, but his first project Hell Can Wait EP was great too, and he only got better and more artistic from there. I've never been into Jay Rock a ton, but his feature verses on Kendricks shit do a lot for me, and ScHoolboy Q makes mostly just bangers and gang shit but in a fairly old-school kinda way I guess. Not ab soul tho. Everyone on black hippy (the group comprised of those two, Kendrick and him) can get a shoutout except for ab soul. He's ruined too many of my fav songs with wack features lmao.

Freddie Gibbs is another AA rapper that sounds very old school and VERY west coast, but he's actually in the news literally right now about some allegations so maybe fuck him? seems uncertain and also as a fan of old school hip hop you may be less shocked by (especially gang affiliated) rappers being Not Good People, but still, it's 2024 and it'd be nice to bring that energy to hiphop at large.

In east coast terms... Fuck. Who do I even listen to that's east coast lol. Well, Run The Jewels is also a no-brainer, and El-P is NY at least lol. All three of their albums and any of their solo stuff would be great for you. J Cole is to me the epitome of mid, but lots of people who profess an appreciation for the old school seem to like him, so hey. I'd just 2014 Forest Hills Drive as a starting point I think. In the Midwest Chance the Rapper was great, and could be great again. You could start with Acid Rap or 10 Day, move on to Coloring Book, and then just pretend Chance's Big Day doesn't exist like the rest of us. Denzel Curry is solid as hell these days but I've never gotten into a whole project, just singles like Ultimate, RICKY, Walkin, and especially SUMO | ZUMO (iirc I was like "did he just say Zuko lmao" and that's what got me into him). Oh and Your Old Droog is highly spoken of but I haven't gotten into him personally, just no time lol.

Flying Lotus's rap alter ego Captain Murphy is great, I've never listened to one of his full projects tho. Really backpacker ass Kendrick fans have always recommended Ka, specifically Honor Killed the Samurai, to me, but personally I just bounce off it every time. Might be of interest tho. And finally, if you're interested in some more experimental shit, first you should go ask Brett afloweroutofstone (not tagging him but that's literally his brand), but second I'd say CLPPNG by clipping. is a good experimental album with great bars. Also Daveed Diggs was in Hamilton but we just don't talk about that.

Anyway I gotta go do my job but hope this helps!

Edit: rereading this and I realize I absolutely do not have to come back to this lmao. That's pretty much all my good recommendations

[nifwatch]

Watched(*) Death and other details.

And my number one question is, why should I care?

(spoilers ahead, obviously)

The main character (Imogene) is supposed to both be an audience stand-in and a brilliant detective all on her own, a poor rich girl with a tragic past. The tragic past turns out to be a lie, her (not) dead mother is a psychopath. The only brilliance Imogene posses is a very good except when it's bad memory, and the ability to spot a clue if it repeatedly yells at her.

The detective. We really did not need the detective, he does nothing. Cut him out of the story completely, give his part to Imogene and you won't even spot a difference. There'll be less ”dear reader, behold, another time skip”, but Imogene can do her ”I cosplay memories, so it's not so boring when you see the same thing a fourth time” trick and all shall be well.

The technology. In a world of mobile phones and 24 hours coverage, the crime investigation is literally live-streamed and nobody thinks that might be relevant? The killer went after the one guy who asked ”who the fuck are you”, but not after the livestreamer???

(World second shittiest detective - you're playing as a rich douche, and the words ”but I memorized the crew roster and you were not on it” naturally spill out of your mouth?)

Still on the technology. If there were recording devices in your room, where could they plausibly be? in the, say, pillows or up in the corner of the room?

Also, if we're in an isolated - isolated my ass. I still don't understand why everybody pretended they HAVE to be at sea, even if that means keeping a body in the kitchen freezer near all the food. Malta was half an hour away, and they were free to boat ride there at any time, apparently! You don't even have the (racist) ”we don't want the dirty local police to investigate”. Anyway, if were on an isolated (THEY HAVE MOBILE PHONES!!!) boat, and a mysterious Interpol agent shows up, does... no one look her up online?

You can wave a lot of this by going ”but the evil robin hood guys could have hacked EVERYTHING”. And I'll say, that's kinda lazy and deus ex machiny.

Now. Tho the ”serous” stuff. The issue of poverty. In this world, being poor is a mysterious condition, nobody knows exactly what that means. A small mansion, a shared family plane, cocaine only every other day? I mean, with a little bit of willpower, even a sweatshop worker can become one of the richest business women in China, so I really don't see what the fuss is about /s.

But it's easy to spot the really evil rich people, cause... um... they are the ones wasting their entire fortune on bringing their factory up to regulations? I mean, granted, 20 years too late, but they compensated their affected workers so well one of them was able to become one of the richest business women in China. Somehow.

But maybe this is a morally gray world, where the justice system does not work, and the evils and the good guys race each other to the bottom? Fair, but you still have to give me ONE character I care about. And it can't be ”I steal from the rich family who raised me for fun, it's not fair they have the nice stuff” Imogene.

...the costumes and decors were nice, the actors were good, and it probably would have benefited from a tighter script, and less episodes and less filler (we did not need the Ukrainians. One smart observant yet wrong little girl is enough).

Would not watch again. Would recommend, maybe? it's good for screaming at the screen, but there's no pay-off, neither in terms of deductions nor in emotional terms.

*I second-screened it. It was clear after the first episode that this series was not designed for full attention.

[bisluthq]

I wouldn't put SLL nowhere near BTD. Like no way. If anything, it's the opposite to me. She spends the whole album trying to justify why she left and the Matty of it all, by throwing him and staining their relationship under the bus. She doesn't assume any share of blame for doing anything wrong. I was expecting or atleast wanting music in the vibes of happiness as in we had a good thing, it didn't work out so let me be mature and admit we both hurt each other. And because of the 7 year mention, I'm going to pretend that was actually the mature song we got about them. HDIE is a bit better than SLL to me in this regard, but still not exactly

I don't see any accountability in SLL. She blames him for their fallout and nowhere does she say maybe I did this and I shouldn't have. I like the song, but the whole time she's like poor me couldn't do anything else while you didn't do this and that and that. I'm still waiting for a self awareness song, where she does admit that it wasn't only Joe who commited mistakes in the relationship she did too. The whole album to me was the same premise of HI where she's basically I had to cheat cause you didn't love me enough. Well sucks to be you 🤷 and the thing is I bet that's what she would do, because she's that predictable

well yea because I think she genuinely thinks he DID make her cheat by not loving her enough lmao. My ex really hates the song tolerate it because of the line “I know my love should be celebrated” because she’s like “… but why tho???” And I do get that criticism of even that song. There’s a degree of sense of entitlement in a lot of Taylor’s songs like “I like/love you ergo you should like/love me back the way *I* want you to” which isn’t necessarily the most healthy way to look at things because people can’t necessarily feel the things you want them to or even if they feel them, they cannot always express them the way you want them to.

I think love languages are a bit of bullshit pop psychology when taken far because obviously we all want all of them lmao??? but that’s one thing where I do think there’s some truth to the bullshit in that the way we express affection isn’t always the stuff the other person wants/needs from us and we don’t always express ourselves in the way we want to have it expressed to us also.

Like my partner definitely appreciates Acts of Service most of all and it took me ages to realize that. But for him like the most romantic thing I can do is sort shit out in the house and go fill up the cars and make sure there’s food in the fridge and stuff. I’m kinda nihilistic and spur of the moment and also yk clinically depressed and that one shrink did say I have PDA so that’s probably the hardest way for me to express affection. Now that I know this about him, I do generally speaking try, but historically like idk what’s for dinner and I don’t know how much petrol’s in the car and I’ll cross those bridges if/when I get there and the joke is when we first started up I thought he also just genuinely didn’t give a fuck because I honestly don’t lol and we’re pretty similar personality wise. Turns out he does. We figured this out actually when I had flu one time and I was in bed all day and he went to the pharmacy without me asking him to and made a bunch of food and like brought me extra blankets all without me… asking for this shit. And I was like “dope” and carried on fucking around on my phone and a few days later he brought it up because it had genuinely upset him that he’d tried SO hard in the exact way he’d like me to try and I hadn’t even noticed. He spent that weekend, from his perspective, watching me tolerate it whereas I’d felt like *I* watched him tolerate it when I’d tried to gift him things for instance and he didn’t seem appreciative enough. Now tbf I don’t *want* many gifts either but that’s how I was expressing it and I’d repeatedly felt like he didn’t care enough about the effort I’d put in to buy him things or pay for things. I also felt like he wasn’t giving me any Words of Affirmation which is actually what I appreciate the most so I want to hear about how much I’m loved and how great I am a lot and he never said anything like that but not because he didn’t/doesn’t feel it - just because that’s not important to him. We figured THAT out because I wrote him this very pretty letter as an apology once that I worked really hard on and he actually explicitly said like “but these are just words - you can say you love me but it’s just words”. So we were both sitting back watching the other person tolerate it and feeling hard done by because of what essentially boiled down to lack of communication on both our parts. Cool realizations and have, along with therapy, improved things.

THAT is what I feel is missing in Taylor’s songs (including happiness even but that’s also because it’s not from her POV lol and she cannot for a minute relate I think) and why they feel so immature - there’s no real sense of “I really fucking tried to meet you where you needed me but it still unfortunately didn’t work out” ever. Her stance is “I am amazing and I’m trying so hard and FUCK YOU for not giving me what I want and no I’m not gonna tell you what that is because if you were my true soulmate you’d instinctively know” which like… isn’t how it works. And I think until Taylor comes to those realizations herself, she’s not going to write lyrics like that. Which is great for US because sometimes you just feel sad and mad and entitled to your disappointment and Taylor’s music makes you feel better in that moment but isn’t really the healthiest approach to take.

even BTD like she says she fucked up by dipping and she feels bad about that but it’s still, in a way, expecting him to just be like “no sweat, totally see what you did there” and doesn’t really leave that much room for what he’s feeling or thinking because she’s like “your guard is up and *I* know why” and no u actually don’t babe lol idk.

[maiteo]

what a stupid thing to say from that last anon. sancho’s only crime was standing up for himself after his manager publicly went out with the intention of defaming him, and since then hes been treated worse than both of united’s players who are domestic abusers. its not being “soft”, or whatever theyre implying to point out that his punishment does not even remotely fit the crime of what, maybe slacking a little bit having this year only been introduced back into the squad after being in rehab for addiction issues? football fans are actually batshit how can you look at this situation and not even attempt to be the slightest bit empathetic for him

exactly! the disheartening thing about that message was how common of an opinion it is. idk why people act as if giving compassion requires such an effort and tough love or hardness is the only way to get through someone potentially suffering.

you said it all tho. people love to pretend they give a damn about what a player may be going though alone but their actions have repeatedly said otherwise. it’s honestly so depressing seeing how up in arms people get, but like you said, won’t bat an eye to literal criminals? it’s all so backwards

like sorry not everyone needs some backstory to justify whether they approach situations like this in a kind way. this entire industry tells us everything we need to know

[marieskey]

Well I had started writing but I didn't save bc u was on the phone oh well. Sex was fire I'm not waking up horny this time. Lol. I can't masturbate anymore. Okay well I can but I won't cum. He broke me lmao. We can literally never actually be together but he want me. He gave me a foot/leg massage. He had been offering because my foot was hurting. He put my socks back on so nicely with thought and care. Last time I was there, he fixed my blanket. That too was with thought and care lol. I found the draft! But I'm just going to stay here. He thought I wanted him to cum in me, but less talk about it. I said you're trying to feel me up before I go. And he said you want me to fill you up are you on Birthcontrol? Do you want kids, no you dont want kids bc you take take of kids? Then at one point he says yeah let the kids know. (at that point in like wtf) I what do you think I just said to you????

He was like to cum inside you. I said no I don't want kids has nothing to do with me taking care of kids all day. No you can not cum in me. If you fuck around and get me pregnant I'd be pissed. I did not say I don't want to be attached to you forever. Stopped myself. From that point on I repeatedly said you cannot cum inside me. CANNOT cum inside me. Bc listen no.

Before we actually started fucking there was a conversation about how he was always going to fuck, given the massage and food. The massage made me so wet he could fucked right then. A whole episode happened before he fucked. He was very indirect about the anal. I honestly thought he was going to say he wanted me to peg him. Which is why people need to just go head and tell me. Well before the big reveal I told him he could fuck me however wanted to fuck me. Minus the ass that was true. He bit my neck and nipples. He also choked me lightly. He put his fingers in my mouth for me. I personally think that is stupid but I sucked on them. I'm legit not horny. He stuck it in pretty much everytime I wanted him to. I told him how much I wanted him. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 asked him if he's missed me 😂😂😂 he said yeah. It had been too long. Keep telling me how good my pussy was. Think that was bc I told him he doesn't cum. Which is both good and bad. Like if he's not coming he's not getting me pregnant. But if how much fun is he having if he's not coming. Think his nut has been more intense than it usually is bc he like me more than he'd like to admit. I like him too. He's the only person. I would layup with after sex. Everyone wants me to stay 😭😭😭😭 doing a horrible job at “get that dick and go” but I don't really call him so there's that 😭😭😭. But really everyone has wanted me to stay I've always left. This nigga implies he wants me to stay I stay. Although in my defence the one time he said he wanted me to stay I left. That was mostly bc of my doctors appointment tho. I guess next time I'm not going to pretend I'm not staying when I am.

Morning sex is fire. I've been missing out not staying the night. 😭😭 so do I really like the nigga or do I like the morning sex. One could argue both. For some odd reason I don't feel the need to recount every detail of the encounter. It was good. Ima go back. I even slept a bit this time. Although I wonder about the cleanliness of the sheets/pillow. He ate me until I tapped out. I came thought he was done so I went to move. He looked up and said I'm not done. His roommate probably hears me coming. I'm really glad I haven't seen him since Jeff and I started having sex. I can't. The good news is I can probably still watch Physical 100. We didn't finish the episode. 🤣

Last thoughts, I'm glad I never fucked him in college. I would not have been able to handle it. He would have fucked me like that 10 years ago and I would've been dickmatized it would've been awful. I have less feelings for him in that way. Like I wanted to be his girlfriend. Today, he could get me pregnant and i’d be like we not together. I asked him while he was fucking me, legs in the air he's thrusting inside me, if he'd care if I was fucking someone else. He didn't answer, asked me if I wanted him go care. (wtf kind of answer is that). Had asked me if I care if he was fucking someone else. Told him were not together just fucking but he'd have to use a condom. He said okay🤷‍♂️ that's truly the extent of my care. He cannot fuck me raw and be fucking someone else. We barely kiss as it is, but we probably wouldn't do that much. Bc he'd probably eat her ass and pussy too so id be good. He shouldn't be fucking me raw but here we are toying with being parents lol. There was a point, when he was fucking, that u considered letting him fuck me in the ass. Only for two seconds tho. Snapped out of that quick. 😂