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#we didn't work out a lot of this in terms of practicality
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To clarify,I don't believe in porn makes you evil and I don't believe in like fantasies are evil. I'm pulling this quote off Scarleteen "“If we aren’t both careful and creative we can get stuck in fantasies that don’t mature and politicize with us."" I'm also new to being about to vote, so I'm trying to be careful about what I consume and what stereotypes media perpetuate. Like I'm not moralizing about kink or anything, and my ask was how can I get aroused with media wo my kinks or wo media
hi anon, welcome back! I'm genuinely very glad to hear some follow up.
for anybody who doesn't stay vigorously up to date with all of my anons, this ask is a continuation of this one.
so I went and checked out the Scarleteen articles you mentioned in your first message, or at least I tried to. How to Approach Sexual Fantasies and Desire on Your Own Terms is here, and while I couldn't find anything with the exact title 50 Shades of Abuse, we do have 50 Shades of BS - How to Tell the Difference Between Kink and Abuse as well as 50 Shades Crappier: On Selling Abuse for Valentine's Day, both of which cover how the 50 Shades series isn't a great model of real, responsibly-practiced BDSM.
now, here's what I didn't see in any of these articles: an assertion that anybody needs to, as you've decided to do, avoid any work that depicts anything less than perfectly healthy sexual practices.
the closest we get to that is the quote by adrienne maree brown from How to Approach Sexual Fantasies, which you mention above. now, here's the thing: first of all, I actually disagree pretty substantially with brown's assertions that one's sexual fantasies need to "politicize." I know what my politics are; the fiction that I enjoy can't change that, because I don't have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. I actually just talked about that earlier today in another ask.
(also, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but adrienne maree brown is kind of a dork who doesn't really say much of anything in Pleasure Activism that Audre Lorde didn't already say better and more succinctly, and I personally lost interest in Pleasure Activism pretty much the moment she casually dropped that she practices reiki healing because that's a pseudoscientific alternative medicine that doesn't do shit or fuck. but I digress.)
listen, I'm not trying to peer pressure or bully you into watching anything you don't want to watch. your porn consumption is up to you. but what you're doing here is absolutely moralizing, I think maybe because of an underlying assumption that media that involves sex is just, like, innately different than any other type of media, which is in itself an idea that stems from sex negativity!
I don't know, let's just try to play out a little thought exercise here. like, would you consider it reasonable if somebody told you that they've decided not to read or watch anything that depicts problematic behavior because they don't want to normalize it. like, first of all, they're never watching anything but Bluey again. except actually not even Bluey because I just remembered about Bluey in the genocide, which actually makes for a great illustration of how nonsensical and impossible it is to try to only engage with media that is 100% ideologically pure.
and again: that's fine! that's literally fine! it is 100% okay to watch or read or play things with morals that don't totally 100% align with yours. it's okay to enjoy them, even. it's a lot healthier than trying to avoid upsetting or incongruous things entirely, because that gives you the chance to actually think about it rather than trying to shut it out entirely! that article actually provides an entire list of questions you can run through with yourself to critically analyze the things you watch if you feel so inclined! that's a much better skill to practice than avoidance!
I get that when you're new to sex, as you said in the previous ask, this might seem daunting, but your brain isn't just a sponge that will uncritically soak up and adopt anything you expose it to. you very clearly have the ability to research, differentiate between fiction and real life, and form your own opinions! and it is absolutely fine if you want to just watch porn with your kinks!
like, listen, I see what the question is, and the easiest answer is just. do whatever gets you off.
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lighteyed · 1 year
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you and i (back at it again) / steve harrington
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summary: steve's left standing alone after starcourt, until you show up for him.
word count: 2.2k
author's note: inspired by this tik tok because i nearly shed a tear also this is my first time posting in awhile be nice pls
He watches his friends reunite with their families, mournful. He stands alone and contemplative by a cop car, the various spots of bruising and swelling on his face beginning to pulse with pain the more his adrenaline began to fade out of his bloodstream. The cops at the station said they'd called his parents house, his house, but no one had picked up. He knew they were home. He kicks a rock near his his foot, shoving his hands in the pockets of the bloody uniform he was still wearing. He wants a shower. He wants to go to bed. He wants to go to bed with the serenity of someone who knew they were loved. He wouldn't be able to do that if he went home. The word home a loose term.
"We can take you home if you need a ride, son," one of the cops says to him. Steve kicks at another rock. Home.
"That's alright," Steve says dismissively, ignoring the tight twist in his chest. "Someone will have gotten in touch with my parents by now. I'm sure they're on their way." The cop looks doubtful. Steve hates that he looks doubtful. Steve hates that he's also doubtful. "Couple more minutes," he swears. He knows he might as well walk his ass home, though.
He leans against the hood of the car, rubbing at his jaw. His hand comes away bloody. He's about to accept the cop's offer for a ride, maybe, he figures, he'll just go to Robin's and sit there for as long as her parents will have him, when a car comes careening into the lot like there's not fifty officers of the law standing around, the tires screeching loudly across the gravel. It's barely at a stop, practically still moving, when you throw the door open and throw your body out of it.
"Steve Harrington, what the fuck?" You leave your car door open, leave it in the middle of the road, still running, to get to him in time. He gazes at you, and it's a stupid look in all honesty, mouth agape, his brown eyes big and tragic looking, his face torn up and swollen. He wasn't expecting you. Why would he have been? You'd been broken up for a few months now and he was still nursing his wounds from it, knowing it was supposed to be for the best; you felt like he was hiding things from you and he knew that he was, hiding all the stuff about the Upside Down, not wanting you involved, wanting you safe. And in a way he was glad for it. He'd gotten through this with you unscathed, and who knows what would have happened if you guys had still been together. When he looks at you, though, when he allows himself to be pulled in closer, your hand coming up to graze his cheek, examining every scrape on his face with softness and worry, he allows himself to want. To miss you.
You tilt his face back, scrutinizing his features. He keeps his eyes on you. You showed up for him. No one else but you. You were here. "The fire is all over the fucking news and I didn't know if you were working tonight so I was sitting by the phone waiting to hear from someone and then your friend Robin called and said you were waiting here for someone to come get you so I just came in case and- and what happened to your face? And where are your parents?"
He shakes himself out of his stupor. "They didn't answer the phone." But you did. You answered and you were here. A wave of pure love rushes through him. He knew a thing or two about being alone, had felt that way for as long as he could remember, no matter how many people he surrounded himself with or how many parties he threw, but you were here, and he wasn't alone. Steve wraps his arms around you in one sudden movement, an outpouring of affection he hadn't realized he'd been reserving for you. Always you.
You stand there for a moment, processing, before you respond, leaning into his touch. The sirens wail around you. Neither of you move. He's safe. You breathe relief into the embrace, holding him tighter to you. He's hardly talking, and usually he's the one talking the absolute most, but he's stunned, both with what's just happened, what he's borne witness to, and with the way you care about him despite everything, more than anyone he's ever met, and the way he cares about you and how could he ever, ever let himself let you go? How could that ever happen? It's all he thinks about as he holds you, feeling safer than he's felt in awhile, the smell of your hair and your skin filling his brain with serotonin.
"Am I taking you home?" You pull away, staring up at him, his ruined face that is still so painfully gorgeous, still so hard to look at. Your hand is remains poised on his cheek. It's warm and welcome.
"No, no, your house, please," he brings his hand up to meet yours.
"I got you, c'mon, honey." He turns and thanks the officers who'd been waiting with him before letting you lead him to your car. He keeps his hand on yours. It tethers him to reality. He's here and he's okay. Or he will be, soon. He's here and he's safe, at the very least. He's not trapped and being tortured. No one's going to hurt him. He's got your soft hand in his and he's okay for right now.
The drive to your house is silent, but it's not awkward. You try to keep your eyes on the road as much as you can but you can't help that they keep finding themselves back on Steve. You've never seen him so reserved. You're sure it was more than a fire that happened back there, and you're sure he won't tell you a thing about it. You drive one-handed the whole way home. You let him need you.
At your house, you get your bathroom set up for him to shower, placing fresh towels on the rack for him, laying out your products on the counter. He would've been able to find them regardless, but you busy yourself with it anyway. When you go into your bedroom to tell him the bathroom is ready, his shoes are off and put into the corner he used to always put them in, and he looks exhausted. "I didn't bring clothes to change," is the first thing he says.
"That's what you're most concerned about?" You give him a funny look. You open your closet and rummage around on the ground for a second before tossing him a pair of his old sweatpants and a t-shirt. He stares at them in his hands. "I didn't know if I should give them back. So I just... didn't." He smiles a little. The first you've seen all night.
"Thanks," he waves them in the air before retreating down the hall. The door shuts and the shower squeaks on.
The way you loved Steve was unconditional, as much as you wish it wasn't sometimes. Even when he was pushing you away, even when he kept things from you, you'd always be there for him. He didn't have anyone in his corner like that. And you wanted to be. It wasn't something you felt obligated to do. You cared about him, and so you went to him. He'd do the same if the roles were reversed. It was unconditional because even when being there for him hurt, you still stayed. You still loved.
When he comes back into your room, his hair dripping but clean, God, he feels clean, his face devoid of dried blood but bruised and wounded, you're waiting for him with a first aid kit and a fresh ice pack. You must've heard the water shut off and gotten everything ready for him. The old sweatpants and t-shirt smell more like you now than they do like him but he's not complaining in the slightest. Something about you keeping them instead of throwing them away or lighting them on fire makes him think maybe there's hope. Not that you had a bad break up to begin with, it was more sad than angry, nothing that warranted a clothes burning, but still. Still, still, still.
He sits down where you indicate, rubbing his towel across his head to soak up the sopping water. His face is flushed from the hot water. You sidle up next to him with the medicine and bandages and try not to get too caught up in him. He places the ice pack on his puffy, blackened eye. He doesn't get it, this gentleness. He doesn't think he deserves it, really. After everything, does he deserve it? Does he get this peace?
"You're fidgeting," you mutter, narrowly missing the spot you were aiming for.
"Oh, sorry," he lifts his chin up a bit more and tries to sit still. You're so patient and kind and it makes him ache a little. You take care of him and it's not for any reason other than you caring about him. He's not used to anyone caring about him. "Are you sure this is alright? You don't wanna... be alone?"
"No, I wanna make sure you're okay," you answer easily, as easy as breathing, swiping medicine across his wounds with the lightest touch you can manage. He hisses in pain, and you wince, feeling it, too.
"Are you sure? You don't have to."
"I want to, Steve, I promise." You pat his cheek, another gentle, affectionate maneuver from you. If he's okay, you're okay. He takes this in. He thinks he really feels his heart expanding.
As you start dabbing at his other wounds, you speak, finally. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can," he replies, blinking up at you with his good eye.
"Was this..." you hesitate. He probably won't answer. "I don't doubt there was a fire but this..." you gesture to his face. "This looks a hell of a lot worse than just escaping a fire, Steve, you look seriously fucked up."
"What, you don't think I look pretty anymore?" He smiles again and you roll your eyes at him, but you smile back all the same.
"You're very pretty, Steve, but you have a black eye and there was blood all over your face and you're all cut up." He swoons just a little when you call him pretty. He's got an ego, what can he say? He continues smiling at you, a little high off painkillers, a little high off being here with you. If he's gotta be tortured he may as well get you back out of it.
"You look pretty, too, y'know," he says softly, his free hand twisting a strand of your hair around.
"Dodging the question I see," you raise your eyebrows at him but say nothing else. It was to be expected.
He takes a deep breath, looking up toward the ceiling, thinking maybe all this time he's just been stupid and silly for not telling you sooner, maybe he could've been with you all this time if he'd just told you, maybe it wouldn't have been the end of the world to have you involved. Maybe it would all be fine. "I wanted to keep you safe from all of it. See what happened to me? It could've been you, if you had been there."
"I would've wanted to be there with you," you insist. "You know I would."
"I do," he nods. "And that's why I don't involve you, babe, if something happens to me it doesn't matter to anyone but if something happens to you-"
"Why would you say that to me? You think I wouldn't care if you died?" You take his face in your hands, and he drops his ice pack. "Steve, are you an idiot? It would matter to those kids you spend all your time with if you died. It would matter to Robin, and to your family even if they take you for granted, and it would matter to me. I love you so much you moron, you can't say it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't be here if it didn't matter. I go out of my mind worrying about you, don't tell me you don't matter."
His head spins, in the best possible way. The pain from his wounds doesn't register. Your hands on his face registers. You words register. Everything else is background noise. "You still love me?"
Oh. Your face warms. It's not like it had been that long since you'd called it off, it should've have been a surprise to him, but hearing you say those words makes him light up. You see him light up. "Yeah, of course I do, it doesn't go away just 'cause you won't tell me anything about your life," you grumble, taking your hands off him.
"Hey," he whispers, grabbing for you before you can tear yourself away from him. He brushes the hair back from your face. He has that look in his eyes that make people fall to their knees. Heavy-lidded and tender. Soft. Loving. "I love you, okay? I do. That's why I try to protect you. I'll tell you anything you want." He knows it now, for real, that he can't lose you again. Not this time. "C'mere, come back." You let him pull you in. "I'll tell you anything, please don't leave me, okay?" You shake your head at him. Never, never. He's pleading, desperate. When he moves to kiss you, the desperation is laced in it, he's lurching forward and he's hungry and yearning and your lips meet soft and fast because he wants to savor it after so long.
The disconnect of your lips sends him reeling, he wants to dive back in for more, for more of everything, but you stop him. "It's me and you, okay, always. But you gotta let me all the way in this time." You tap his heart lightly. "All the way, Steve. Everything."
He leans back. He is hesitant and bruised and bloody, a little bit broken, but mostly he's in love. Mostly he wants to give you the world. So he takes your hands in his. He tethers himself to reality. And he talks.
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jessicalprice · 1 year
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I think the thing that most Christian atheists who are rebelling against authoritarian Christian backgrounds don't get is why Jews remain Jewish.
Like, I get it, you engaged in your practices because you were told that God would punish you if you didn't, because you're told you're supposed to fear God.
(Incidentally, we don't even use the same language about this. The term that gets translated in most English bibles as "fear" is, like many classical Hebrew words, a lot more multivalent than the English term, and has more of a connotation of "awe." (See, for example, the Gilgamesh dream sequence: "Why am I trembling? No god passed this way." A god is something in whose wake one trembles.) It's what one feels when one is faced with something bigger than oneself, something overwhelming. For some people that may be fear of being harmed. For others it may be wonder or even ecstasy, standing outside oneself.)
But in 2023, Jews have the option (and, indeed, still the cultural pressure) to completely abandon Judaism. Very easily. We can, in fact, do it quite passively. If we're not actively trying to engage with it, it will very much drift away from us.
And it's not fear of divine punishment keeping most of us engaged.
The thing is, if you proved to me tomorrow that God doesn't exist, I'm not sure anything about my life or my practice would change. (I'm already agnostic, so *shrug*. I don't believe in a God-person. Sometimes I believe in a unity to reality, a life and a direction to it. Sometimes I don't. I just don't have the arrogance to think I understand definitively the way the universe does or doesn't work.) I still would celebrate Shabbat, I still wouldn't eat pork, I still would have a mezuzah on my doorway.
I do all that stuff because I'm Jewish, not because I think God will get mad if I don't. I do all that stuff because it's part of a cultural system that I see as wise and life-giving and therapeutic and worth maintaining.
And the thing is, the cultural system that Christian antitheists want us to assimilate into, under the guise of "getting rid of religion", is very much a white Protestant culture. It's not culturally neutral. It has practices, and it has a particular worldview, and it has cultural norms that are just as irrational as any other culture's.
It's also very telling that Christian antitheists purport to be harmed by Jews continuing to be Jewish. Why? We don't impose our norms on anyone else, and we overwhelmingly vote (and organize, and engage in activism) against the imposition of Christian "religious" norms, such as the curtailing of reproductive freedom, blue laws, etc.
So you're only "harmed" by our continued existence in the same way Christians purport to be harmed by it: by claiming that the very existence of a group that doesn't share your worldview and practices is somehow an act of oppression against you.
Which is, you know, white supremacist logic.
You're still upholding the logic of Jesus's genocidal, colonial Great Commission even though you supposedly don't believe in the god that ordered it anymore.
That's gotta be one of the saddest things I encounter among my fellow humans.
You took down all the crosses in the church of your mind and chucked them out the window, but you still refuse to step foot outside the church building, contenting yourself with claiming it's not a church, and firing out the windows at the synagogue and mosque down the road, the same way you used to.
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sp0o0kylights · 11 months
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Whole thing on A03
It didn't matter how much Steve explained. Not one member of the Party was going to get it. 
Tommy and Carol would, but then, they were no longer on speaking terms. A fact that hurt even if it was for the best--particularly in times like these, because they got it. 
They understood how he had been ensnared with the very same wealth people mocked him for. What it meant when his parents demanded Steve drop everything and go on vacation, his own plans be damned. 
They knew, because their families had done much the same, and so the lives they led also were tethered to leashes made of their parents' design. 
Dustin, whose mother bent over backwards to try and better her kid’s life, didn’t even have a frame of reference for this kind of thing, let alone sympathy. 
"Do they not understand you have a job?" Dustin asked incredulously, and Steve didn't have the emotional bandwidth to explain that his parents didn't consider working at Family Video to be a real job. 
As far as they were concerned, Steve could quit if he had to, and then go find another job when they were done using him to play the nice, All-American family. 
Likely for business purposes.
"They aren't the type to care." Steve said instead. 
It was easier than getting into it.
(Easier than explaining the BMW wasn't in his name, but his parents. 
How his money went into a bank account they had access to. 
That practically everything he owned was actually owned by Richard and Stella Harrington, and both were quick to remind him of that fact the second they felt Steve was acting out of line. 
And boy, had he been acting out of line. 
 Getting into fights. 
Turning their punishment of working a job they picked specifically for the humiliating outfit, into the far worse public embarrassment of being involved in a mall fire--an embarrassment because Steve had "lost" the keys to the BMW, had "put himself in danger" playing hero instead of letting the perfectly capable firefighters do it, then “paraded around” with bruises all over his face, racking up medical bills. 
Truly a sin for someone who hadn’t made it into college.) 
So no, this vacation they demanded Steve drop everything for  was not anything close to a reward, or even something they were doing to spend time together. There was a reason they needed Steve, and as far as they were concerned, Steve was at their beck and call until he shaped up and got his life back on track. 
His own plans be damned. 
"That's not fair though!" Dustin burst out and Steve sighed in relief, because here at least, he knew what to do to distract his younger friend.
 “We planned our trip months ago!” Dustin continued, looking two seconds away from giving in and stomping his foot. 
The kid might have been smarter than Steve--smarter than most people really--by a hell of a lot, but he was still fourteen. 
Smarts, Steve knew, didn't exactly equate to emotional intelligence, and it definitely didn't stop rampaging hormones.
Ice cream on the other hand, was a great aid in both areas. 
"You better be making this up to us." Dustin threatened thirty minutes later, spoon wedged deep into a sundae. “We can’t do, like, half the stuff we were going to do without you!” 
“I'm sure you guys didn’t need me to play ghost runners or whatever.” Steve said, but was quick to back down when Dustin nearly threw his spoon at him. 
Rather than antagonizing him more, Steve dutifully raised his hand to put over his heart. "I swear on your mom that I’ll make it up to you.”  
Dustin rolled his eyes, but otherwise, finally, let the whole thing go. 
Stupidly, Steve thought this meant the worst was over.
He was wrong. 
xXx 
Mike hadn’t cared. 
El and Will hadn’t really either, though both expressed some sadness that Steve wouldn’t be participating in the camping trip that the Party as a whole had been looking forward to for the past few months. 
Erica had simply snapped at him, making him promise much the same as Dustin had that he would be making it up to her sometime in the future. Likewise, she had been bought off by ice cream (even if she insisted it didn’t count because Steve owed her ice cream anyways.) 
Max was the surprising emotional standout. 
"You can't tell them no?" She demanded, arms crossed over her chest. 
Lucas was hovering awkwardly at her shoulder, shooting "what can you do?" vibes as hard as he could at Steve as his (currently on-again) girlfriend outright dressed the elder boy down; her shoulders creeping up higher and higher until she seemed to realize she was visually giving away her upset and forcibly relaxed them. 
Unlike Dustin and Erica, her tirade was very out of character and Steve was growing more concerned by the second that something was wrong the more she spat at him. 
“I mean for fucks sake, didn’t you tell them you had plans!?” She finished, eyes narrowed in rage. 
Which was rich coming from someone whose stepdad had Billy Hargrove running all over town before he’d run off after the guy’s death, but then, Steve knew better than to bring all that up.
(The image of Max, unresponsive in the hospital with casts on almost every limb, was still too fresh. 
Even now he didn’t like to push her, even if the Party as a whole did their best to take notice when one of them was isolating themselves again. 
Max, though she was down to one crutch, was still inclined to use it as a weapon and very much enjoyed practicing her swings on people’s ankles.) 
“I did indeed. They don’t care and they’re not giving me a choice, but for what it’s worth I am sorry.” Steve tried to keep his voice even and out of angry-shrieking range, and vaguely prayed it was working. “I swear, I will make it up to you guys, even if we have to go on a second camping trip.” 
This was clearly not the correct thing to say.
Though judging by the murderous rage being aimed his way, Steve was pretty sure nothing short of “You know what you’re right, let me go tell my parents to fuck off!” would make Max happy. 
“So you’re seriously just going to drop everything, all our plans, your job, us,” She took a very threatening step forward and despite her being a full foot shorter than him, Steve had to fight not to take a responding step back. “So you can go play rich boy in the Bahamas?” 
“We’re not going to the Bahamas--” Steve tried, but was interrupted with a loud “ugh!” of disapproval. 
“Whatever makes you happy, Steven.” Max spat, and then turned on her heel, storming off towards the rest of the Party (who had taken one look at Max’s face and fled into the arcade so she and Steve could “talk.”) “I’m sorry us peasants weren’t good enough to hang around!”  
“Sorry man.” Lucas apologized quietly, on his way to run after Max. 
Steve just scrubbed a hand through his hair and sighed. 
xXx 
“The kids are mad at you.” Nancy announced, appearing across the Family Video counter like a phantom. 
Steve swore, nearly dropping his stack of VHS’s, while Robin (who had clearly seen Nancy approach) cackled at his fumble. 
“Yeah, I did get that memo.” Steve said, after he stabilized his stack, safely moving them from his arms to the counter. 
Nancy peered around them, her face giving away nothing. “It is kind of shitty to cancel at the last minute like that. We were relying on you to drive.”
An old fury shook itself awake in Steve’s chest, taking an interest in the conversation the second Steve realized what Nancy was here to do. 
He took a deep, shuddering breath, and pressed it down, back into the box he’d slammed it in all those years ago. 
“I’d leave the keys to Robin here, but unfortunately, someone failed their drivers test.” Steve said instead, jamming his finger over his shoulder and blatantly attempting to pass the buck. 
Robin, who absolutely knew that was what he was doing, faked a gasp and kicked at his ankles. 
“That crotchety asshole failed me on purpose!” She protested, spinning to face Nancy. “He made like, three misogynistic comments before we even got in the car!” 
“Pointing out that he knew the car wasn’t yours wasn’t misogynistic, he was just surprised to see me letting you use the Beemer.” Steve shot back, rolling his eyes. “I don’t exactly let a lot of people drive it.” 
Unspoken was that Steve’s BMW was one of the town’s more unique cars, and thus easily identifiable by the locals at large. 
“How is that better!?” Robin returned, but Nancy cleared her throat before they could successfully get the Steve-and-Robin show on the road. 
“The point is that we--but really, the kids, were counting on you.” Nancy said, dipping into her patented “I’m upset with you” tone. 
A year ago it would have cut Steve to the bone, even if he didn’t show it. 
Now he just stared tiredly at her back. 
“I’m sorry, Nance, but it is what it is.” He said simply, hoping the apology (even if he knew it wasn’t so much a real apology as it was something he said to keep the rage from breaking out and wrecking havoc via his mouth) would soften his ex. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”
Given the abrupt narrowing of her eyes, it very much did not help his case. 
“For someone who was so vocal about trying to change I have to say this is pretty disappointing.” Nancy said simply, but with just enough of a tone that Steve had to close his eyes for a second. 
Feel the way that old anger, the one that had powered King Steve, hit the bars of its cage.
Robin stilled immediately next to him, her head ping-ponging between Steve and Nancy both as she too, clocked that Nancy was pissed, and here to chew Steve out about it. 
“Um.” She said, voice going high in discomfort. 
Steve grit his teeth. “I don’t exactly get a say in these things, Nancy. You know that.” 
He had to work to keep his voice even, fighting against the ice that wanted to sharpen his own tone. 
It was just---Nancy did know. 
Steve had told her all those years ago, in the safety of her arms, about his parents' expectations. Their predetermined path, the way they dictated large swathes of his life. 
How they’d allowed him to pick which sports he played, but required that he play a sport no matter the time of year. 
That the pool they had installed wasn’t for him, he just got to use it as much as he did in part because he’d joined the swim team, and the kind of mental mind games he and his parents played about things like that. 
Apparently either Nancy had forgotten, or simply hadn’t taken it in to begin with because she wasn’t backing down. 
(Not that Steve had ever seen Nancy Wheeler back down.) 
“I know you have trouble juggling your parents' plans with your own.” Nancy said, and her tone was absolutely icy now. “I certainly remember waiting for a date that never happened.” 
Steve sucked in a breath through his teeth, knowing immediately what Nancy was referring to. 
“I told you they came home unexpectedly.” He said, arms now crossed against his chest, nails digging into his arms as a way to help himself stay grounded. “They wouldn’t let me use the phone until the next day and I apologized.”
“And I recall having a lovely conversation with your mother where she said otherwise.” Nancy said, her words punctuated by another high pitched “Uhhhh.” from Robin. 
“Funny how you believe my mom over me.” Steve said and whoops, yup, he definitely sounded mad now. 
So much for all the effort he’d put in to staying calm. 
“Because I look at actions, Steve. Patterns. The same ones you kept repeating.” Nancy was clearly about to escalate, and Robin, bless her, had had enough. 
“He-eeey.” She said, wedging herself in between Steve and the counter Nancy was starting to lean over. “I totally get it, you’re both upset, but this maybe isn’t the venue to fight about it? There are customers in the store and--sorry Nancy--but I do kinda need Steve for work, so…” 
She trailed off, glancing nervously between the two of them. 
Nancy took a breath, blasting it out of her mouth like an academically inclined dragon. “You’re right. I’m sorry Robin.”
She then turned on her heel, making her way to the doors. She paused before them, and Steve prepared himself because he knew whatever she was going to say next, it was going to hurt. 
“I wouldn’t care if it was just me, Steve, but the kids don’t deserve you pulling this shit. Not after all they’ve been through.” With that, Nancy pushed through the door, head held high as she stormed to her car. 
As was typical for Nancy’s aim, she scored a direct hit. 
Steve, somehow, resisted throwing things. 
“Can you believe her!?” He said, the second the doors were closed and Nancy safely out of eyeshot. “Coming in here like that!?” 
He ran his hand through his hair, once, twice. 
A third time for good measure. 
“Yeah, that was seriously public for her.” Robin agreed, sliding up next to him. “Like really public.” 
Steve shrugged, because well. Not really. 
Not anymore. 
But Robin didn’t know that, just like Robin wasn’t entirely familiar with the depths Steve’s parents went to save face. They hadn’t exactly had time to really dig into it all, given how fast the Vecna situation had hit after Starcourt and the sheer PTSD both incidents had caused. 
Most nights they spent together was spent trying to avoid reliving nightmares, not discussing ones they were currently still living in. 
A fact that Steve was more than happy to bring her up to speed on, but to do so involved a lot of backstory, and backstory involved Nancy, and God, he was fucking pissed at Nancy. 
Soon it was an hour into his rant and he hadn’t actually gotten around to the sheer level of shit his parents would pull, too busy with Nancy and old echoes of ‘bullshit.’ 
 He only stopped when Robin put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him ever so slightly. 
“Dingus. You know I love you, and I know you’ve changed, but you do gotta admit, canceling at the last minute is kinda shitty and I get why they’re upset.” 
It was like the carpet had been pulled right out from under Steve, yanked so quickly he’d have to pinwheel to keep his feet. 
“What?” He said, eyes round in sheer surprise. 
“I just mean like, I get your parents are dicks but,” Robin’s face screwed up, looking like she’d sucked a lemon. It was her “I’m going to say something you don’t like face” and it hit Steve like a punch to the gut. 
“Our shift’s almost over and no offense, you’ve started to repeat yourself about Nance, and I get it! I do, memory shit is hard!” Robin’s hands moved as she talked, her bracelets jingling as if punctuating her point. 
“But I also think admitting you double booked yourself on accident and just taking responsibility for it would help smooth things over. Middle ground, you know?” Robin waggled her hands in a gesture that, for the first time in a long time, Steve didn’t understand. 
He found himself suddenly struggling to breathe. 
“Are you--are you saying you think I didn’t tell them I had a trip already planned?” 
Steve wasn’t sure how he managed to get it out. Wasn’t sure how he was doing anything, given the heat that was shooting through him, a hot mix of confusion and betrayal as Robin fidgeted to his left. 
“No! Okay well,” The lemon face got worse for a second. “I’m just saying you did kinda forget to pick me up that one time, and you do kinda blame your parents when stuff like that happens.” She bit a nail, peering at him out of the corner of her eyes.  
“I don’t--” Steve said, completely knocked adrift. “I…”
Robin didn’t believe him.
His Robin. 
Who wasn’t--wasn’t exactly siding with Nancy, but wasn’t saying she was wrong either, or that she understood that this shit was out of his control, and in fact, was kind of implying that Nancy was right more so than Steve was and---and--
There was a ringing in Steve’s ears he wasn’t sure actually existed. 
“I’m sure a lot of it is your brain injury. The doctors said your short term memory can take a while to fully come back and I totally get why you don’t wanna say that, I just, I think it would be better if--Steve?” Robin jumped back as Steve finally found his footing, swiping his jacket and punching out before she could catch how badly his hands were shaking. 
“I’m leaving.” Steve told her, his own words a million miles away, entirely uncaring if Keith fired him. 
Keith was likely going to fire him anyway, given Steve was about to ask for a week-long vacation not even four months after the whole Vecna ordeal. 
“Wait, Steve, hey--Dingus! I wasn’t done, I mean, I had more to say I, dammit Steve--!” Robin called after him frantically as Steve bolted for the door. 
Steve ignored her, aiming for the Beemer and swinging himself numbly into the driver's seat when he got it open. 
Put the car in park and avoided Robin’s face entirely as he backed it out, punching the gas far harder than he needed to. 
The Beemer roared in response, nose rising as it shot forward. 
Robin was his best friend. His fucking--platonic soulmate, as she kept calling him. The very idea that she agreed with Nancy in general was a blow but in this?
Against his parents? 
Nausea rolled angrily in Steve’s stomach, matching the sudden wetness that coated his eyes. 
Angry and needing an outlet, Steve stomped hard on the gas, taking the next corner far too sharp and making the beemer fishtail, tires squealing . 
He didn’t know where he was going.
He figured he’d find out when he got there. 
xXx 
Given what Steve knew about the universe at large, (nevermind Hawkins) it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to hang around the Quarry at night.
But then, summer was in full swing. Kids were home from college and itching to find a place to party without parental overhead. 
Deep to the left side of the water, around a few bends and tucked oh so neatly out of sight, was a place where one could do just that. 
Party.
This stretch had long been claimed by the college kids of Hawkins, and guarded zealously for it. 
With the sheer number of drunk people whooping and hollering around the bonfires below the ridge where everyone parked their cars, Steve figured he was safe enough. 
Even if he was up with said cars, sitting alone. 
Not like it mattered. If a demodog or demogorgan or demo-fucking-dragon decided to come along, Steve had half a mind to just let it have him. 
It felt easier than trying to fix the current mess his life was in. 
So he sat up here, blowing through the alcohol he’d purchased from the one gas station that never carded, drinking his problems away. 
(That also wasn’t the best course of action but with his parents home to spring the whole “vacation” ordeal on him, it wasn’t like Steve had a choice.) 
He hadn’t grabbed a lot--had been so damn upset and struggling to hide it that he’d picked up a four pack of wine coolers instead of the intended beer he’d wanted. It was all he had though, and so he chugged the last bottle with a wince and wished he was a hell of a lot drunker than he felt.
Then promptly caught sight of the person walking towards him, and wondered vaguely if he was drunker than he felt. 
Of all the people to come and offer him a can of beer, Steve would have never expected Tommy Hagan. 
He eyed it and his old friend both, before slowly reaching out and taking the can. 
“Heard you and your parents are doing CoHo this year.” Tommy said casually, leaning up against the front of the Beemer like it was old times. 
“Yup.” Steve replied, drawing the word out. 
“Angie Tideman’s parents are going, they’re bringing her ith .” Tommy said it casually, and had the good graces not to grin when Steve audibly groaned.
“Oh god.”
Tommy sucked on a lip, nodding absently. “Yeah.” 
Then; “It gets worse.” 
Steve, who now knew what this conversation was about, instantly began tearing into the beer can. “How can it get worse? You know what Angie’s like.”
Angie, whose full name was Angelina, lived a few towns over. Born to wealthy parents who doted on their beloved only child, Angie had more in common with your average shark than she did her fellow humans. 
A comparison that, frankly, was unkind to sharks.
She was without a doubt the most selfish person Steve had ever had the misfortune of encountering, and the mere idea of being trapped in a room with her made his skin crawl. 
Their parents were business buddies though, and god forbid he ever insult a business buddies kid, 
“She goes to Purdue, you know, with me and Carol.” Tommy said, instead of answering directly. “We cross paths a lot, party wise.” 
Steve stayed silent. 
Knew how Tommy talked, how his stories meandered. Especially the juicy ones. 
“She’s been talking a lot recently. Given you don’t look all that informed, I’m gonna assume the one person she hasn’t talked to is you.” 
Steve gripped the can of beer, a sudden, sick fear blooming in his gut. 
“Tommy.” He said mildly, not loud enough to really interrupt, but with enough force to let his former friend know to get to the point, now. 
“Got all super fancy right before we left for summer break. Hair done, whole new wardrobe, nails, you know.” Tommy waggled his fingers playfully, but dropped them when Steve just stared. “Went full whore on us. I swear she was making out with any guy who even looked at her--” 
“Tommy.” He repeated, this time a hell of a lot firmer. 
Done pushing, Tommy let go of the proverbial bombshell. “Apparently you’re planning on proposing to her this summer. She’s gonna return next year as an engaged woman, with you in tow, because apparently, you got into Purdue. Congrats by the way.” 
Tommy clapped him on the shoulder, right as Steve’s mouth went dry. 
For the second time that day, he found himself fighting the burning heat of embarrassment and fury as it rolled through him. 
“I’m proposing.” Steve said, as if saying it out loud would scare the very idea away. “To Angie.” 
“Yeah we kinda figured you didn’t know.” Tommy said with a snide little grin. To the average outsider it was mocking, but Steve knew better.
Tommy was uncomfortable, because Tommy had understood what Steve’s parents had done. 
“What I’d like to know is just how much Angie’s parents paid to get you into Purdue. That’s gotta be a minimum fifty thousand dollar donation at least.” Tommy removed his hand, to instead lean his shoulder against Steve’s. Like this was the old times, before they’d fought. “ I didn’t think they had that kind of money to throw around.”  
A past conversation with his father struck Steve, running through the front of his mind like a bad horror movie. 
“They sold the estate.” Steve said vacantly, the implications not quite hitting. “The one they’ve been trying to get rid of forever, over in Cape Cod.” 
“Oh shit.” Tommy said, blinking as he too, recalled what was likely his father telling him the very same news. 
“They sold the place on Cape Cod, and they used part of the funds to fucking buy me like a toy.” And yeah, saying it out loud, it definitely sounded bad. “I didn’t think Angie even liked me.”
“Does Angie like anyone?” Tommy asked, incredulously, but nudged Steve’s shoulder again when his joke didn’t net him the laugh he wanted.. “I mean, you had to know your old man had plans to straighten you out. He keeps getting mad at my dad, because the ass won't stop making jokes that I’m going to take over the company instead of you.” 
“And this is it. Attaching me to Angie.” Steve said vacantly. “Because they know if I get married…” 
He’d put his wife first. His family, first. 
The one he’d wanted, dreamed of, since he first realized he didn’t have one. 
He’d been playing checkers the entire time, too busy fighting fucking monsters and Russians to realize his parents had upgraded to chess. 
In a dizzying array of mental connect-the-dots, Steve replayed the last years worth of conversations. All the odd little things they’d said. All the dumb things Steve had just ignored. 
 They’d warned him. 
Had told him he better shape up, or they’d be forced to do something drastic. 
That his parents hadn’t wasted all this time, effort, money on him, for him to throw away his life like he was. 
“You better start acting right and figuring out how to get your life back on track, because you won’t like what happens if I have to fix it for you. You get a month Steven, and after that? Well. Just remember you forced my hand, Steven.” 
They knew. They knew him, and what made him tick.
“I think the real question is what Angie’s parents see in you.” Tommy teased, but then they both knew the answer to that puzzle. 
For all that Steve’s mom complained about her husband, the guy was a shrewd and calculating businessman. Those weekends, then weekdays, then more and more time away hadn’t just been so he could go screw his secretary. 
Richard Harrington had fast tracked his business to the point where it was now getting attention. The business journal, ‘Top 50 Companies to Watch’ kind. 
Even if Steve fucked up entirely, he was set to inherit a fortune and a business that would continue adding to it, for some time to come. 
Provided he did what his parents wanted.
Such as marrying Angie. 
Thing was, if his parents did what they always did, and held their wealth (his car, his home, his life and all the little things in it) against him like a gun to his head, if Angie got that ring around her finger? 
 Steve would bow to their whims. 
 Because they could fluster him into proposing so he didn’t embarrass Angie, and her parents and anyone else who’d undoubtedly be watching. They’d make a spectacle of it. 
Because once he did propose, they wouldn’t let him back out, burying him under guilt trips and veiled threats until he was marched down the aisle in a groomsman suite and told to stand. 
Because against all common sense, Steve wanted a family who loved him so desperately he’d chase it like a dog if he was presented with the opportunity and told to make it work. 
It didn’t matter that Angie was selfish. 
Steve would try anyway. 
His parents were maneuvering him as easily as they had back when he was a kid, using love as a tool to get him to do what they wanted and even seeing the nose hanging from the rafters, they knew just the right words to get him to place it around his neck. 
“Thought you’d wanna know.” Tommy finished, pushing himself off Steve’s car. “Before your parents sprung it on you.” 
“Sonofabitch.” Steve hissed angrily, a million thoughts racing through his head, the heat of being caught in a trap blasting down his spine. 
“Yeah.” Tommy added, rather unhelpfully. “But hey, given that you’re about to go on vacation to propose, why don’t we consider this,” here Tommy swept his hand, gesturing to the party below, “your proposal party?” 
It was a downright horrible idea.
But then, Steve didn’t exactly have a better one. 
Not  when the world itself seemed against him, grinding its heel into his back and laughing about it. 
He knew the drill. If he went down there, arm in arm with Tommy, then it wouldn’t matter that half those kids were from a few towns over, driven in by new college buddies.  
They’d see him as a reason to get wild, absolutely uncaring that they didn’t know who the hell he was. 
Steve needed that.
People who weren’t mad at him, buying into the easy lies his parents wove, or who didn't understand the games played against him. 
“Fuck it.” He announced, standing up from the hood of his car as Tommy’s grin morphed into something he used to see in the days of old, back when they were sneaking drinks from their parents' alcohol cabinets. “This way at least I get a party.”
Not like his parents were going to let him have an engagement party. Or a bachelor party, or likely let his ass back into Hawkins. 
No matter how long the engagement. 
Tommy cheered, raising his arms to the sky and Steve grinned wildly with him. 
He’d figure out how to get out of all this later--but for now, he wanted just a few damn hours where he didn’t have to think. 
Not about his parents, or Angie, or possible attempts to force him into marriage, like this was the yee olden days and Steve was a Victorian maiden who needed to be brought to heel. 
Likewise he didn’t want to think about the Party, or Russian torture, or how Nancy could be so damn smart in some things and downright stupid in others. 
He absolutely didn't want to think about Robin. 
“Hey boys and girls, look who I drug up!” Tommy yelled as they approached and soon, word had spread.
This was Steve’s proposal party, and he was here to get absolutely smashed (while encouraging everyone else to do the exact same, in his honor.) 
Which would be how Eddie found him a few hours later.
Still at the quarry, crossfaded off his ass, a forty in one hand and a lawn dart in the other. 
“Are you kidding me, Steve?” Eddie grit out, desperately trying to wrestle the lawn dart out of his hand. “You’re fucking partying with Tommy Hagan!?” 
Steve blinked at him a few times, finally catching on that Eddie was in fact, actually there. 
“When did you show up?” He asked, though given the wince on Eddie’s face and just how hard it had been to move his lips, Steve correctly assumed he’d slurred the shit out of the question. 
Somehow, Eddie understood him anyway. 
“Robin called me a while ago, gave me a list of places you might be. Almost skipped this one until I stepped out of my van to take a piss and heard the party.” Eddie explained, and somehow while doing so, he’d successfully gotten a hold of the dart. 
He was now working on removing the 40 ounce. 
Steve frowned, using his newly freed hand to grip it closer to his chest. 
“Harrington.” Eddie warned, and oh, wow, they were back to last names huh?
Well why not, it wasn't like his night could get worse. 
“This is mine, Munson.” Steve fired back, putting as much vitriol into Eddie’s last name as he could.
This did not detour the metalhead. 
“Come on man, give me the bottle.” Eddie said firmly. 
Steve shook his head stubbornly, enjoying the way his hair whipped at his face. “No.”
Another man stumbled over, a guy Steve absolutely did not know. He frowned, looking between Eddie and Steve. 
For two seconds, Steve thought they might have trouble, and given the way Eddie was tensing, he clearly thought so too. 
Instead, New Guy just kind of rocked on his heels. “Hey, shove off it, buddy. It’s this guy's bachelor party, let the man drink!” 
Eddie’s face did something complicated then, pulling the sort of expressive looks only he could manage.
It was both adorable and hilarious, and if Steve hadn’t just been reminded of the very reason he was drinking, he’d have told Eddie so. 
“Yeah!” He said instead, raising his hand in the air, toasting his bottle of forty against the other guy’s red solo cup. “It’s my proposalengagmentbachelor party!” 
Given the second, adorable-slash-hilarious look on Eddie’s face, Steve assumed those words hadn’t come out right either. 
“Okay.” Eddie said hands on his hips in a stance Steve was pretty sure Eddie had gotten from him. “Here’s what's going to happen. You’re going to put the bottle away. Then you’re going to give me your car keys, and then the two of us are going to my house to sleep whatever is happening here, off.” 
At least, that's what Steve thought he heard. It was a pretty un-Eddie like speech, and Steve maybe, might have been the one to say it, because he maybe, might have been mocking what Eddie had actually said.
Maybe.
It was hard to know, given that Steve’s thoughts were a thick soup on a bit of a time delay, and he was having a hard time figuring up from down, let alone what Eddie had been actually saying. 
Speaking of; 
 “When did I get into your car?” Steve asked, blinking as the van’s passenger seat appeared before him.
“Just now.” Eddie said, helping him in.
“Huh.” Said Steve, and then he maybe passed out a bit, because once again, he found himself awake and alert at a place that wasn’t where he’d just been. 
“Come on.” Eddie said gently, one of Steve’s arms over his shoulder as Steve leaned heavily into him, guiding the jock up the stairs and into the small house he and Wayne now called a home. 
The guy might have muttered a few things about bachelor parties along the way, but Steve was too focused on walking straight to really take notice. 
Part Two
2K notes · View notes
thealternateuniverse · 5 months
Text
At who's the best at
Paige Bueckers x Fem reader
Warnings: Slowburn (?), curses, sexual inunendos
A/N: I couldn't think of a title 😭 I am so sorry. Other characters are from my imagination, they are not related to NCAA at all. Had to get this ideas out of my head.
Y/N was panting, hands on her knees after doing laps across the court. Today is hell, Geno is not taking it easy on them, the training is tougher compared to the previous months as their team is advancing to Elite 8. She thanked the cardio gods for being on her favor today or she will pass out. Taking one last deep breath, she put her both hands on her waist and walked towards the three point shot perimeter. Qadence pats her on the back while she is dribbling for a three point shot.
"Take it easy babe." She nodded at Qadence before shooting the ball. Another miss.
"Miller!" Geno motioned to come to him. Y/N sighed and jog towards her coach's direction.
"Kid, do you see this?" Geno handed her his clipboaard with her stats on it.
"This is from the last game against Duke."
Y/N scanned her stats, and it is much better progress compared to their match against Sycaruse and Jackson State.
"Yeah and it will get more better if you can hoop today. What the hell is wrong Miller? Shade and Edwards blocked you three times today. You don't get blocked thrice based on these stats. What's wrong kid?"
Y/N didn't respond and remain silent. It shows in the practice that she is preoccupied today.
"Nothing Geno, it's just......" she trailed off thinking of what she should say.
"I'll do better. I'll make sure to clear my mind before practice so I can focus." Y/N continued, bowing her head slightly. She had to prove to UConn women's basketball team that they will not regret accepting her back when she transferred here during her 2nd year. But Geno doesn't seem to be convinced of her answer.
"Alright. I am expecting much better results in our next practice. We can't make excuses once USC had our asses in our match. Go take a swim or a run in your neighborhood or whatever later, you're not yourself today and I don't want to see you like a vegetable during practice."
Y/N nodded and Geno gave her an encouraging pat on the back before letting her go back to practice. It made her feel a little better but her day is still shitty.
----
Y/N's phone keeps vibrating, this is the umpteenth time her parents called her today. She doesn't want to answer it, it will be divorce probably. It already threw her game off today and she doesn't want to ruin her day more by answering it.
Mum:
talk to me hun, please
Hun, we are sorry, I know this will be hard for you.
Do you hate us?
I'm sorry, love. It's not working anymore between me and your dad.
Dad:
Peanut, please answer your phone.
I'm sorry.
We wanted to tell you for a long time.
---
Y/N turned off her phone. With a deep sigh, she ate her tacos. She's got a lot on her plate now, her studies, her upcoming match, and now her parents divorce. She wanted to take a break.
"Boo, you okay? You're preocuppied the whole day." KK finally asked. Her teammates have been giving each other knowing looks and tiptoeing around her all day. They are not used to her being silent. She went out with them tonight hoping it will take off some things in her mind.
"I'm fine girl. Just woke up on the wrong side of the bad today." She smiled at KK. She's not ready to talk yet not until she's able to come to terms with her family.
"You suck, Miller. Paige is getting full of herself today and you're too preoccupied to humble her."
Paige almost choked on her shirley temple, she took a napkin and wiped her mouth.
"Me? Full of myself? Come on Aubs." Paige scoffs.
"Miller just realized today I don't need humbling, I'm actually good." Paige raised her eyebrows playfully followed by their teammates violent reactions.
Y/N grinned. She had to thank Paige for diverting their teammates from pressing on what's going on with her. The subject of being the best shooter between her or Paige became a daily banter. Paige was not unwelcoming when Y/N transferred in UConn but her competitive ass made sure to show why she was here first instead of Y/N. Y/N admits that Paige is actually better than her and the best all rounder, her transferring here seemed challenged the latter on who's best at what. She doesn't know why Paige thinks she has competition when she is actually the best. She likes to get on Paiges nerves so she gets along with Paige's imaginary contest.
"Get outta here Bueckers, I can do what you did earlier even with a hangover" Y/N said, giving Paige a sheepish grin. Paige made 43 consecutive 3 point shots, it got into her head today without Y/N beating it. It always annoy Paige when Y/N's record is close or beat hers.
"Oi, enough you two." Azzi stopped them before it could start to bickering. Y/N raised both her hands in surrender. She took a sip of her margaritas while still giving Paige a cocky grin. Now the latter looks annoyed.
They continued having fun, dancing and drinking. Y/N didn't move that much from her seat, she's tired and the margarita must've probabaly hit already.
"I'm just gonna go to the restroom." She excused herself. Feeling dizzy Y/n groaned, guess she will have that hangover tomorrow.
She decided to turn on her phone and was still bombarded with texts from her parents. Her mum's name popped on the screen and decided to answer it finally.
"Honey, I'm glad you answered. I've been calling all day." Her mom sounded worried on the other line.
"Sorry mum. Busy."
Her mother sighed. Y/N doesn't exactly know what to say, she is still processing that her parents will have a divorce. Out of 23 damn years, they just decided now that they don't need each other?
"Honey I.... I am so sorry. If you could come home soon we could have a talk, with your dad and I."
Y/N rolled her eyes.
"I am not going home, mom. California is 2000 miles away, I have an upcoming game in 2 weeks, and I am busy for my finals. What's the point? Your going to sell the house anyway now that you are getting divorce."
She didn't mean to sound mad over the phone, but she is really upset.
"I will call you when I am ready to talk to you both. If you two want a divorce, fine, but give me time to process that my parents don't need each other anymore after 23 damn years."
She didn't wait for her mother's response and hang up.
------
Paige went back to their booth joined by a tipsy Nika after their teammates are gone to god knows where. Dancing or probably making out with someone.
"Hey P, have fun! You're awfully behave tonight. Loosen up, it's weekend tomorrow."
Nika nudged her and throw an arm over her shoulder.
"I'm good, Ma. I don't want hangover tomorrow. Besides, someone has to stay sober to make sure you all get home safely."
Nika scoffed, rolling her eyes at her teammate. It's their last free night before Geno will give them total hell in preparation against their match with USC.
"You're boring me P. I'll go join the others and have fun being miserable here. Have you se---" Nika wasn't able to finish her sentence when a commotion started in the middle of the bar. Recognizing the 6 foot tall asses of their teammates in the scuffle, the two ran towards their direction.
"What in the fuck happened?" Nika felt her slight tipsiness gone, helping KK reach Ayanna who's ready to take a swing to an athlete from Yale. The bouncers are trying to separate them before it ends up to a total brawl. Paige scanned where the others are and her eyes landed on Y/N, her sleeves are up, Aubrey blocking her from punching another Yale athlete.
"You don't talk shit here, dawg. Go back to New Haven and fuck your slutty girlfriend!"
Paige grabbed Y/N by the waist and dragged her out of the scene. For someone who is always cool and at her composure, she was surprised that Miller can trash talk.
"Calm down, Miller. You don't get to injure that million dollar hands." With Azzi trailing behind, she brought Y/N outside and pinned her on the wall to calm her down. She looks disheveled, some of her locks escaped from her ponytail, her face is red, her sleeves are uneven and she is reeking of alcohol. What a total mess.
"What in the world was that Y/N, I know you guys don't start fights but you all are better than this. Gosh, how many drinks did you have? You are reeking of alcohol!" Azzi said frustrated.
Y/N scoffs, wiping some sweat on her forehead. Paige couldn't agree more with Azzi. They don't start fights, Y/N never looses her cool even during their banters at who is best, intense matches and bad calls from ref. Paige wonders what made her so worked up that she almost punch someone today.
"Nah, I was cool Az. I took shots from everyone, sorry I lost count."
The 2 of them grimaced. They check Y/N if she had any injuries, Geno will kill them if they are scathed and once he hears about this. Azzi wonders as to why Yale women's basketball are in Storrs. That's like an hour drive just for a night's drink.
"God you are drunk and you can take a fight." Paige said amused. She never saw Y/N got drunk because she never was.
"Oh yeah Bueckers, wanna try? Let's take it here outside." Y/N stood straight, her face annoyed.
Well that was hot. Paige thought. She raised her hands in surrender before Y/N gets totally pissed. Y/N haven't landed a punch but it might be on Paige if she triggers the latter. Azzi gave her a scolding look.
"Chill, Ma. T'was a compliment."
Y/N rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall again. She's starting to feel hazy.
"What did they do anyway?" Azzi asked.
"Douchebag's girlfriend was offering me a drink, I declined. She thought I want to fuck her slutty girlfriend and proceeds to call us defects, the others heard it, we didn't mind until she pushed Aaliyah."
Paige clenched her jaw and Azzi rubs her temple. Half of the team suffered injury in the past year. Paige wished she hadn't grabbed Y/N and let her land her fist first before fleeing from the scene, it was uncalled for. Drunken Miller surprised them tonight, they didn't know that her mouth can talk.
"That's it, we are all getting home. I'm gonna go get the others." Azzi left them outside.
"Yeah Azzi and tell that cunt to fuck her girlfriend properly."
Paige shook her head. Y/N is definitely the highlight of tonight's event.
"What got you so worked up today, Miller? You almost took it out on someone."
KK was right, Y/N was preoccupied. She didn't have any baskets during practice. Paige had 29 3 points in a row today, usually Y/N comes close or even beat her. It's unusual for someone who plays ball since 5th grade, she just did laps all day.
Y/N groans. "I'll talk about it tomorrow when I'm sober. can you take me home please? Paige."
Paige, licked her lips and pretends to think about it. She's gonna do it anyway.
"I never thought you were into girls." Paige blurted out. She mentally slapped herself right after. Her intrusive thoughts won.
"You guys never asked. I never said I was into boys either. So annoying."
For some reason, Paige couldn't keep her smile off. She was grinning like and idiot. Y/N noticed and she rolled her eyes, Paige looks stupid.
"You look like an idiot Bueckers."
"Maybe I am."
She twirls her car keys and they started to walk where she parked her car. She's behind Y/N who's trying to keep a straight-face and herself from stumbling.
Azzi and KK following them, KK still heated from the commotion earlier and keeps trash talking. Azzi is trying to cover her mouth for being loud. KK, Azzi, Nika and Y/N rode with Paige. The others were at Aaliyah's car since they live together in the same apartment. Paige shook her head, they are all dead on Monday.
-------
Y/N woke up, her head pounding and throat dry. She groaned when she tried to get up. She knew immediately it was bad last night to have a hangover like this, she rarely gets drunk and when she does, she has it bad. She jolted up when realizes that this is not her room. The bed sheet is purple, there are Miami Heat posters everywhere and the trophies are too many to be hers. Not until she saw the familiar number 5 jersey hanging on the wall.
"Fuck, what did I do last night." She whispered to herself. This must be Paige's room. She tries recalling the events of last night and vaguely remembers the Yale athlete talking shit. She almost got involved in a brawl.
Y/N got up from bed only to realize that she is wearing Paige's clothes, it's one of her old team USA shirts, nothing else and her boxers. It's already 2 in the afternoon, she could hear the ruckus outside Paige's room and KK's rambunctious laugh.
She opened the door and was greeted by the chaos of her teammates.
Y/N winced when the pounding of her head hits again. She sat down on one of the bean bags and leaned her head back trying to ease the headache. In an instant, Paige handed her a bottle of water and a tylenol. She gave Paige what is this for ? look.
"Your hangover, duh."
"Ya'll our sleeping beauty is awake." KK sat beside her but she was waiving where Ice was. Ice was doing live on the corner, and she didn't realize that where she is is being captured. Gosh she looks horrible.
"Guys, they wanna know something. You remember we did a tiktok of who among in the team you don't want your kid to date..... They want the opposite."
Qadence was quick to shout "Aaliyah" followed by KK's "Y/N"
"Yeah, I'll go with Y/N too." Ice agreed
"Y/N will throw hands, I'll bet on her too." Aubrey added.
" 'bout you, Paige?"
The team groaned when Paige showed her "rizz hands."
"Will we go further? I'll let my kid date myself." The team erupted in disagreement. Nika throws a pillow towards Paige's direction. "Dream on Bueckers!" Y/N shakes her head too.
Paige is a gender bender, the amount of fans she has be it a boy or a girl is insane. She may look like a fuck-boy type but she'll be a good girlfriend, the question though is, can they take her superstar life?
"Y/N, they wanted to know who you want your kid to date." Ice turned towards her. Y/N straightened her back a little, enough only to face Ice.
"No one, you guys loves ball more than relationships." Everyone burst in laughter.
"You heard our homie? We're not playboys/playgirls, basketball is life." Ice said in live while giving a thumbs up.
"Nawww! she's just playing safe!" KK shouted.
" Y/N is so fine, I think I'll start watching live " Ice reading through comments.
Y/N suddenly felt conscious. She moved where the camera can't see her so she can deal with what's left of her hangover.
" Does Y/N have a boyfriend or what? Saw her in Stanford before and what the hell is she doing on the court, go model in a runway or something--- Yo! Someone said you should model Y/N!" KK is reading along with Ice now.
Y/N blushed on the compliment(?). She couldn't think of herself as someone who walks on a runway or pose for a magazine aside from playing ball. She's no Cameron Brink who could pass that criteria.
"Maaaaan, they are all whipped to our girly pop. We've been gatekeeping our secret weapon."
Some of her teammates joined KK and Ice in reading the comments.
"Y/N c'mere they want to see you."
Y/N doesn't want to be rude by not saying even a "hi" but she really feels shit right now. She look around the room and her eyes landed on Paige, begging for help.
"Y'all sorry but Miller is not feeling well, you'll get to see her in Gampel soon. Be sure to be there." Paige shouted while throwing an arm around Y/N's shoulder. They are both far from the camera, Y/N waived though from where they are.
"Thank God." Y/N muttered and leaned on Paige's shoulder and she felt her stiffened.
Ice wrapped up her live leaving disappointed viewers to only see a glimpse of Y/N. All of them went back to their chaotic self.
--------
A/N: Please stay tuned for the next part. I think I have a hangover too 🤮. Wrote this when we were at the bar. Feedbacks and suggestions are open.
ALSO..... DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHO DOES THE GIRLS HAIRS DURING THEIR GAMES? DO THEY HAVE A HAIRSTYLIST OR WHAT?? PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT. 😌
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barcaatthemoon · 7 months
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caught || jenni hermoso x reader ||
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you and jenni get caught breaking one the team's "no hotel sex" rule.
minors dni, 18+, smut ahead
jenni was going to be the death of you. nobody could know about the two of you, especially not alexia. it was easier to sneak around after trading room assignments to bunk with jenni, but you had indirectly put yourself directly next to alexia's room. you knew that alexia and jenni were on good terms after their breakup, but you also knew that she'd probably flip shit if she found out the two of you were together.
alexia had always been like a big sister to you. she had taken you under her wing whenever the two of you were growing up together. you were just as much a part of her family as her actual sister. alexia and alba had looked out for you like nobody else was willing to. they saw past your troublesome last name and turbulent family life, and for that, you'd never be able to repay her. and you knew that sleeping with her ex was not a good start.
"jenni, stop," you hissed as you pushed jenni away from you. the two of you had been away from each other for quite some time. jenni's transfer to pachuca had come as a bit of a shock to you, despite her having brought it up. the two of you hadn't been serious then, but jenni had confessed that she loved you enough to make the distance work.
"why? i have waited so long to have you in my arms again. must you be so cruel as to make me wait even longer?" jenni asked dramatically. you rolled your eyes as you pulled yourself out of her grip. it was hard on you too, but it would be even harder for you if alexia heard the two of you through the walls.
"i know that look in your eyes jenni. we have to be quiet, and that look means nothing but trouble." you understood now why alexia had a tendency to be a bit stressed. jenni may have been older than you, but the woman was a lot more carefree than you were capable of. the team occasionally teased you about it, claiming that you could be worse than alexia was about being so strict.
"relax, mi amor, there's no reason for you to be so wound up," jenni told you. she sat up on her knees on the bed in front of you. you sighed longingly as she pulled her shirt off and tossed it onto the ground. "see? you want me too, so please just come back over here."
"jenni, you have to keep your hands to yourself," you told her. she nodded as she sat back on the bed. you didn't trust her to keep her word, but you still came over and joined her on her bed.
impressively, jenni did manage to keep her word. you had made her promise you to keep her hands to herself, but had said absolutely nothing about her mouth. jenni's mouth littered kisses and little bites all over your neck. you were in the process of telling her to back away a bit when a moan replaced the words on the tip of your tongue. that noise ended up being the catalyst to jenni completely losing her composure.
she pinned you down onto the bed, grinding herself against your thigh as she pushed the bottom of your shirt up. you could feel the heat from jenni's core against your thigh as she started to get herself off. jenni wouldn't finish that way, but she knew how easily it worked you up to know how turned on jenni was. you wanted to pretend that it wasn't working, but jenni knew better.
"i want to feel you," jenni said, her lips pressed against yours. you pushed her off of your body just enough to allow your clothes to easily come off. jenni could have ripped them off of you, you were certain of it, but that would have raised a lot of questions. you had practice later in the afternoon and would need your kit then.
jenni let out an appreciative hum as her eyes settled on your body. she took in every inch of bare skin and defined muscle. her hands groped at your breasts as her lips met yours in one more heated kiss. after the kiss was broken, jenni spread open your legs and settled in between them.
"i've wanted this for so long," jenni said as she placed a couple of playful bites to the inside of your thighs. you jumped at the sensation with small yelps. jenni was smirking as she ran her fingers through your folds, spreading the wetness from your entrance. jenni withdrew her finger and pushed it past her lips to suck your arousal off of it.
"don't tease, and i believe that i said to keep your hands to yourself," you chastised. jenni took that as a challenge as she put her hands behind her back. you knew that jenni didn't need her hands, and if anything, she'd be even more ruthless with you for the sass. jenni didn't take your brattiness lightly, but you had never really gone far enough to warrant any sort of punishment before.
"you can cover your own mouth then," jenni said smugly. you knew from the new and very dangerous look in her eye that you were fucked. jenni was going to have you screaming out her name, and she was highly unlikely to stop until you were actually doing so.
jenni opted out of any softness or teasing, instead choosing to get right to things by running her tongue against your clit. she knew that even without her hands, she could have you cumming within minutes. it was unfair sometimes how easily jenni hid her dominance in the bedroom around people. you had gone into the relationship expecting her to be all smiles and jokes like she was everywhere else, only to be fucked within an inch of your sanity when you started hooking up with each other.
"you taste so good, mi amor," jenni told you. the small break was not nearly enough for you to collect your bearings. jenni's tongue work had your head spinning in the same little circles it was making. your hips bucked wildly as you ground yourself against jenni's mouth. every bit of the situation made you feel a little pathetic, but you knew that jenni loved it. she loved hearing the breathy little noises that you made as the air was forced out of your lungs. she loved the way that you rode her face with such a devout desperation.
"jenni, please. jenni, i'm gonna cum. jenni!" you were screaming at the top of your lungs. there was no way that alexia and mapi didn't both hear you through the walls. there was also no way that they didn't know exactly what was going on. you were doubtful that the entire floor didn't just find out you and jenni were together from that. even jenni looked a little sheepish when she rose up from between your legs. "fuck."
"hey, don't worry mi vida, it's okay," jenni muttered as she moved to lay beside you. she pulled you into her arms, holding you tightly until the two of you were interrupted by loud knocking. jenni was wearing the most clothing, so she was the one to go over to the door while you got yourself redressed. "ale, what a surprise. can i do something for you, capitana?"
"where is (y/n)?" alexia asked. you scrambled to finish putting on your clothes before opening up the door the rest of the way. alexia looked between the two of you, a slight frown on her face.
"what's the matter ale?" you asked. alexia reached out and grabbed the bottom hem of your shirt, which definitely wasn't one that belonged to you. "ale, i can explain."
"don't worry, there is nothing to explain, i understand what is going on here. that is why jenni has to pack her things and go room with mapi for the rest of camp. you both know the rules, and that we have them for a reason." alexia sent an accusatory glare towards jenni. you had heard rumors about how the rule had been put in place, and as you looked between the exes, you realized that they were true.
"i'll see you later mi amor," jenni said as she pressed a kiss to your cheek. you sighed as you watched her pack up her things. alexia stood by the door until jenni was gone before she came fully inside and set her bag on the bed where your things were laying.
"hey, that one's mine!" you argued. alexia sent you a knowing look, having once been in your position before. "fine, this one smells like jenni anyway."
"i'm sure it smells like a lot of things," alexia grumbled under her breath.
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ang3lofdivinity · 10 months
Text
❝𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐧❞
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⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
Relationship(s): Yan!Andy (Andrew) Graves x Fem!reader
Format: Headcanons + stories.
Genre: IMPLIED Smut + fluff + some angst(?)
Warnings: Consent mf, intimidation, SA from one of the wardens to the reader, masturbation (reader and Andy), Leyley isn't super overprotective, Reader is very naïve and too kind (they consider all friends), kidnapping, stalking, Andy is kinda turned on by the readers constant praise and nicknames for him, smoking, swearing, smut has been removed because.. the more I realize it I want this account to be decently fluff.
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Andy is a very reserved person.
He's an introvert as per what his sister calls him.
And she's right.
He doesn't like being around others, he's pretty logical, he's also very calm.
But, what he doesn't know is how charming he is to others.
Hell, bunches of girls try and get with him, while Leyley obnoxiously tries to get rid of them all.
So, he's never really had a long term relationship with anyone aside his sister.
And over the years, he's managed to craft, a meticulously created one, a façade.
A mask he's worked on for years.
One that he knows will never crack.
But perhaps he got too confident.
Because when you came along, he was restraining himself practically from getting excited after the first time he saw you.
He saw you, being the new kid in class back when he was still in school at a young age before being trapped in that hellscape he called his home.
You were an extrovert it seemed, turning out to be the opposite. But, you still cared a lot about everything and everyone, you introduced yourself sweetly with something along the lines of..
"Good morning, I'm (____) (_____). If you need anything, I'll always be right here."
You were so calm, so pretty.. how could someone be so pretty?
You joined a bunch of after school activities, student council and such.
Although, you seemed a bit worried over something always every time he saw you.
He felt something within his stomach churn whenever he saw you though, not managing to gather enough courage to talk to you.
So, you had to initiate the contact.
You saw him, being all lonely..
That made you feel incredibly horrible, you were in that position yourself once too.
So, you approached him.
And his heart fluttered.
"Good evening.. you're Andrew Graves, right?" You inquired as you sat beside him at his lunch table as your friends immediately started whispering to each other.
"Oh- I- I'm Andrew Graves, yes.." he cringed at his own stuttering, but you didn't seem to mind.
"Why don't you come and sit at my table with my friends?" You invited him with a warm smile.
He felt butterflies in his stomach, a feeling he never had in a while..
"Are- you sure? They won't make fun of me?.." he asked, obviously worried.
"Of course not! If they do, we can have lunch together alone if you want!"
"..alright."
That was the day he became so clingy to you.
Usually, he's very cynical. But, for some reason with you.. he could feel that your actions were very genuine.
And that's what got him attached.
Along with your humor.
"I swear to fucking goddess if Miss Alta keeps telling me to not draw, I will—"
"Good morning, Miss Alta!" You exclaimed happily the moment your communications teacher stepped foot into the room.
He almost wheezed, letting out a giggle at his failed attempt to restrain himself. His expression turned into one filled with guilt and embarrassment, but before Miss Alta or any of the students spoke, you blurted out.
"Ah, Miss Alta, there's something wrong with the air conditioning. It keeps moving a bit and making that scraping noise." You semi-lied as you turned to Andrew and gave a more sincere smile before paying attention once more.
..you would just, lie for him like that..
Your smile could make him go crazy, it couldn't be compared to anything!! The way you cried, your tears streaming down your cheeks as you ran to him when you got hurt on the playground earlier- blue diamonds couldn't even compare to the richness of them, and the way you were very touchy..
You always held onto his hand, holding onto his shirt as you walked behind him anxiously, anytime when you got older and watched any horror movie and clang onto him.
That's when it all went to shit.
You had to leave the state.
THE STATE.
After you had just got settled after the last time where you moved here as a child!
He almost broke down, wanting to pour out all of his feelings as if it would change anything.
But it was official, and Leyley had him all to herself. It was like that for years.
He was all alone.
He felt empty.
He felt empty without you.
Like a part of his soul was torn from him.
And that stuck with him forever.
Some sort of dark, black tar over his heart made it feel disgusting and filthy.
But for the lonely part..
It wasn't like that for long.
When they grew older, he started dating someone after so long.
His (ex) girlfriend, Julia.
But eventually, that all ended when he got put into that quarantined building with Leyley.
She broke it off with him on one of those nights.
He sobbed about it, and Leyley didn't help.
But, that's when he got a strange phone call when Leyley was asleep and he was still up.
He was hesitant, but his gut told him to pick it up.
And that he did.
And that was one of the best decisions of his life.
"..Hello?" He spoke, his voice raspy. He was unsure of what telemarketer would be calling at this hour, and it couldn't possibly be someone he knew.
"Andrew?.. is this really you?!.."
That voice.. that voice instead changed his mind of this being some sort of telemarketer.. how? Because that’s your voice. After so many years, you had called him!
"..(____)?!" He yelped out, almost loud enough to wake LeyLey.
"Oh dear— I'm so glad I can hear your sweet voice again!!" You exclaimed, sounding like you were on the brink of tears.
All of those previous feelings he had for you back when you were still around, they all came back in a flurry, overwhelming him.
"(____), I'm.. how did you get this number?.." he wanted to ask you so much more, but that's all that came out at the moment.
"I heard about the quarantine you got into with your sister.. I'm so sorry. One of the wardens was kind enough to give me your number! I didn't have much time previously due to my work.. but, now I have and I'm so thankful!"
"..Good god it's so nice hearing your voice again, (____)" he mumbled, smiling as tears prickled at his eyes. There were so many words that wanted to spill out of his mouth, but nothing came out due to his own self restraint.
"I'm going to get you out of there! I promise! You and your sister!" You yelped out, happiness laced into your voice. You were zeal about this, you were going to get him and his sister out of here. Or at least try.
"Wait- aren't you worried about the wardens??? They've been keeping us here!" He responded back, biting on his thumb.
"Eh?? Nah! I'm sure! The warden seemed to like me, I'm sure I can persuade him somehow." For some reason, this didn't sit right with him..
"..." He went radio silent, this feeling akin to foreboding surging through him with the sense of anger as well. But, he swallowed down his frustration and took some deep breaths.
"Andy- Andrew?.. you there?" You tried to fix your mistake. You heard his sister call him by that nickname once- so you know it's at least somewhat gotta be sentimental for him.
"..you can call me Andy" he slowly spoke up.
"Are you sure?.."
"I'm.. sure. Call me Andy." It almost sounded like a demand..
"..Alright, Andy."
He doesn't even let his own sister call him that anymore, but he lets you do it with free reign.. strange.
"Now, would you like to talk for a bit?.. or should I get straight to work with the pla-"
"Talk!.. please. I just.. I missed you. I missed listening to your voice, I missed just being with you.." he blurted out, cutting you off. He put a hand over his mouth in response, his eyes wide and filled with shame.
"..."
"..."
"...."
"I'm sorry- that probably sounded weird.." he spoke up after a long moment of silence.
"Nono! Don't apologize, I missed hearing your voice too, hun." You spoke sweetly to him, a smile he couldn't see plastered on your face.
"..Hun?" Saying the word made him feel this warm, bubbling sensation within his chest. It made him want to indulge in it more..
"I'm not gonna use Andy all the time, darling!" You giggled happily, and that just made something within his stomach churn and twist.. something that has been dormant for years finally stir.
It made his knees go weak, his mouth go slightly agape as he failed to make any words come out of his mouth for a while until you spoke.
"..Andy? Honey?"
"Oh- sorry just.. deep in thought.”
"Ah, I get that.. well anyways, what would you like to talk about?"
You two talked until the sun finally rose and you got sleepy.
"Night Andy, Hun!" He could hear you yawn.
"Night, (____).."
He then placed the phone back down, hanging up shortly after you did as he found himself already yearning and missing your voice.
But, he knows.. better.
He just can’t help it though.
..No matter, he’ll hopefully be able to see you soon as you said.
That would be wrong though.
Because guess what? That warden that was so kind to you was only there for your looks. He wanted you to have some.. “personal time” with you if you get my gist.
“No fucking way you creep!!” You yelped out, this man was about twice your age and asking you to have some personal time with you.
“C’mon, sweetheart!.. I promise I’ll make it worth your while” The warden spoke, a sickening smile on his face.
“No means no, pervert!! Now, let me see my friends, let me get them out of here!” The warden groaned at your response.
“Alright, look here sweet-cheeks. You aren’t gonna be able to save your friends and I shouldn’t even be helping you. So, you either let me have you and you can take your friends, or I kill you right here and now” the man gave you an ultimatum, causing your eyes to widen.
“I..” You almost bursted out into tears when the man moved his hands to your shoulders, lowering your shirt.
“Lemme take care of ya.” he hummed, pushing you against the table within the break room, tears pooling down your cheeks.
You then tried focusing on something else, noticing the fact he had a ring of keys on his belt..
The warden had a hand glide up your thigh, massaging the bundle of nerves there. You tensed, straining back any noises that would come out of your mouth.
“No need to hold back, sweetheart..” he pressed himself closer to you, this was your time to strike!
You punched the man in the face, causing him to stumble back. You fixed your clothes, jumping off the table, you stared at the man who was waddling around like an idiot. A huff escaped past your lips as grabbed the nearest blunt object and flung it at the man. It was a simple lamp, but it hit him real good in the head. Honestly, you felt powerful in that moment, finding the courage to continuously punching the man, letting out every last string of anger that you felt. It was basically free therapy! And, when you were done, he was no longer moving. You grabbed the keys before you marched off, now off to find Andy and his sister, Ashley!
It took you a bit, but after knocking on a few doors, you heard nothing but some shuffling.
“Andy!! Its me! (____)!!” You yelped out, taking out the ring of keys as you fumbled with them in your hands.
“..(____)!? You actually came!?!” He spoke up after hearing your voice, immediately rushed over to the door as he heard you unlock it, opening it for you, taking you by surprise.
“Of course, hun! I never break a promise.” You spoke more dulcetly, a smile upon your face as you looked up at him.
He’s.. grown taller than you.
He spent no time dawdling as he hugged you, pressing you close to him as he twirled you around.
“I’m proud of you for waiting this long. So proud.” You praised, causing Andrew to become flustered as he desperately tried hiding it.
You paused for a moment before you started giggling a bit.
“What.. whats so funny??” He asked
“Nothing. Just reminiscing of the old times.”
“..you’re talking like a grandma.”
You bursted out laughing, patting his back.
“Oh— really now? ‘Just be a good boy and be quiet!’ Is that better??” You were giggling, since you knew your words made any sense for some Grandma to say, but he wasn’t taking this as a joke. The way you called him a good boy..
It.. turned something on for him, craving for more practically.
“Okay I think thats enough mushy reunion stuff, mm?” You smiled sweetly at the boy as he pulled away from the hug, his face still slightly flushed.
“Yeah..” he internally cursed himself for almost stuttering.
“Where’s Ashley?..” you quietly asked.
From that moment, everything happened like some sort of descending spiral of madness. The thing with the demon and Ashley… killing the second warden, all of that fancy stuff. (being horribly mortified in the end.)
You had the both of them stay in the motel for a while until you could bring them into your home as you got them necessities; paying for them to continue staying, getting them new clothes, food, entertainment and others (not even knowing about their little hobby together.)
You’d visit once a week, much to Andrews begging for you to come more often, constant thanks as well from him.
“..I don’t think we can repay you ever for this.”
You always said it was fine, and his sister did too. She seemed more laid backed about the entire situation.
And, when you rushed in the middle of the night to their motel in your car to tell them the news that you finished up your work for their rooms and such, only throwing on a long overcoat, keeping on your nightclothes and throwing one some slippers.
..but they weren’t in there.
“PSSSTTT” the sound almost made you scream, but you turned to the cause of the noise.
“Ashley!” You smiled, not speaking above a whisper.
“Get over here!!!” You immediately rushed over to her without another question, taking her into an embrace.
“Woah- calm down, goody-two-shoes!” She grumbled, trying to get you to let go or at least loosen your arms that were tightly wrapped around her.
“You and Andrew can finally come over!!” You practically cried out, a bright smile on your face.
“..Where is Andrew..?” You questioned after surveying around, letting go of the embrace you tightly held Ashley in.
“Went to go and check on something.. don’t worry about it.”
“..Alright. I’ll wait here if you don’t mind.” You quietly spoke, standing beside Ashley as your hand subconsciously grabbed hers, intertwining them.
And Ashley didn’t say anything about it. Just to see how her brother would react, of course.
That didn’t go well, let me tell you.
He came back, noticing you, he was so excited like a puppy seeing their owner once more, but noticing that you were holding Ashleys hand..
..For some reason it made him pissed off.
“..(____), why don’t you hold my hand instead?”
You were already starting in his direction to tackle him into a hug, but Ashley pulled you back.
“Nah.. I think she’ll stay right here, holding my hand.”
“Ashley.”
“Yes, dear Andyyyy?”
“Let her go. Right now.”
“Mm, nah.” She chuckled seeing him get so riled up.
He flat up walked on over to you two, grabbed you by the waist, swiftly pulling you away from Ashley.
“Oh you jackass!!!”
But he didn’t care.
And then, you all heard another car..
Thats when everything else unfolded.
They killed that man..
And you witnessed it.
Then again though, he was a murderer as well..
..but why??
You were shaking like a leaf, catching Andy’s attention.
“Shh shh.. its okay. Theres no need to cry or worry, alright? It was in self-defense. I promise this won’t happen again.” He consoled you, hugging you closely as you nodded.
Ashley looked baffled though, one of her eyes slightly twitching.
..guess they’ll just have to not kill in front of you from now on.
Well, moving on from this..
You had made some fake ID’s for them (made by another friend of yours, of course) along with some birth certificates, you just wanted to help them get on their feet again.
That would.. slightly backfire.
No matter what, he became so obsessed with you, he started stalking you, watching you do anything around the house. When you’d turn to see if anyone was watching, no-one was there..
You brushed it off multiple times, but even when you were in the shower, or changing, you felt the same feeling. It was all.. unnerving. You hated it. You wanted it to stop.
But, it continued and continued, and it got to the point where you started asking Andrew if you could sleep with him for the night, to which he immediately accepted; surprising you.
You got into his bed, him pulling the covers over you despite the fact you already had a blanket with you.. but that was fine. You rested your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your lower back, pressing you closer to him.
And strangely, it seemed like all of the eyes that were previously watching you were gone. You could finally drift off to sleep, where Ashley would make fun of you both each time, but stopped suddenly after a bit..
But you shrugged it off as she was just bored of the joke now that you have cuddled with Andrew so many times now just for you to feel safer within your own home!
Little did you know that the person you were cuddling with was the one watching you all along..
His fingers threaded through your hair, humming ever so softly. He kissed the crown of your head, your forehead, your cheeks, and then eventually, your lips. You tasted sweet to him, sweet like nothing he’d ever tasted before in contrast to his usual taste of mint and cigarettes within his mouth.
He wanted more of it..
He then continued kissing your lips, now making out with your unconscious body, taking breaks in between to undress you from your nightclothes, underwear, and so forth.
In your sleep, you felt something.. swishing within your mouth. It was warm, tasting everything within your mouth almost, like it was trying to claim it!
You slowly awoke very sadly since you couldn’t get your beauty rest, trying to find the cause, just to see it was Andy. The person you were so close with. You instinctively pushed him away, or tried.
As much as you wanted to- you couldn’t hurt him. What would be everything you went for then? What would Ashley do?? You’d have to live with the guilt of possibly hurting one of your friends.
..is he even your friend anymore?
He took notice of that, opening his eyes instantaneously as he felt your touch. He pulled away for a moment, examining your expression.
The room was silent, the atmosphere was palpable as he turned to an emotionless face. He moved you closer to him.
“Andy!?” You yelped out as your body became tense.
“..Shit— shit, no, fuck, i’m so sorry. This is wrong-“ Andrew pushed himself away, getting up and threading his hands through his hair. His eyes were wide as he realized what he’d done.
“..Andrew, why??..”
“I’m sorry- that was disgusting- I’m sorry!..”
Your facial expression was bewildered, but you eventually just frowned and grabbed his arm (which was shaking.)
“Andrew, you should’ve asked me first so I could’ve consented. Especially if you have some sort of som—“
“Wait!.. how are you so calm?!” You really aren’t.
“..I’m not. But I would’ve just want some more information- some sort of talk about this entire situation before we could do anything.” Caressing his hand, you smiled softly, and he simply just stared at you for at least 5 seconds straight.
Consent talk?
Consent talk!!
He gave a long ass apology for his actions, immediately about to just get up and leave.
But you stopped him to talk further talked about the situation. You talked about what you really wanted.
And if you both were ready.
Even though all of this didn’t happen throughout one entire night, you planned everything out. What you two were going to do.
If you wanted a relationship.
Or just a situationship.
You both decided to test the waters first before deciding that.
You need to get out. Leave.
What are you doing?
Please, go.
He’ll kill you too.
You couldn’t fall asleep after everything that happened, so he ran a bath for you and him, washing you both.
After that though, he dressed you in some more comfortable clothes for the afternoon it seemed despite being early morning now.
He had you sit in his lap, smoking (trying to get you to smoke as well), tending to your wounds.
And that’s when Ashley came to you both later within the morning, groaning.
“Why was there so much noise in the night?.. could barely sleep..”
Safe to say, you gave a.. believable excuse
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Wow- theres a lot here! But, I hope you all enjoyed!!
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elicathebunny · 2 months
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How to utilise the holidays/term breaks well for a successful academic year
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Do you need to catch up on revising the things you didn't pay attention to in class or maybe you just need to put in some extra effort to up a grade? I'm going to walk you through my personal tips for revising efficiently throughout the holidays and term breaks without disrupting your freedom away from learning too much.
I. The Defining Phase
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First, you need to figure out what you need to study the most. You should figure this out by knowing what subjects you need to spend a little bit more time on than others and revising what you already know well from time to time to keep the information fresh. Make sure you don't spend too much time on the topics you know very well, I know it's tempting and easier but you are not learning anything new or prioritising the subjects you do need to work on. The more you practice in the difficult areas, the more easier they will become too.
II. The Planning Phase
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Now you know what you need to revise/study. You can make a schedule around your free days. Obviously don't force yourself to study or revise when you are enjoying your holidays off from education, so you need to work out days that you can dedicate to your learning.
To make things easier for yourself, gather the resources you need (physical or online) and make them easily available to you to get rid of the faf when starting to revise. If you know you may need extra help, utilise the online teachers and AI chatbots.
-> Don't cheat with them, these are helpful ways to check your answers and to understand the questions that you wouldn't have gotten with step-by-step help
Make sure to schedule days that you can rest and enjoy your break from school. Please don't overload yourself with lots of study days because you will burn out and miss out on your holiday. Instead make a doable schedule based on your lifestyle and what's going on in your week, dedicating just 20-60 mins is enough for a day to get all the information in your head.
Allow yourself to have breaks in between study sessions so you can reset your brain before continuing to learn.
for example: for every 1hr 30 mins studying, take a 15 min break for every 1hr studying, take a 10 min break for every 30 minutes studying, take a 5 min break [every 30 mins = 5 mins break]
if you do anything below or above the times I gave, then round it up to the nearest 30 minutes and calculate the break you should have.
III. Avoiding procrastination
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SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS !!
Put your study equipment on your desk, organised and ready for you to begin your session. Keep all distractions you know will interrupt your studying away from your space. Put your phone away and keep it away from your desk, turn it on do not disturb until you have finished your session. Make sure your space is clean and organised, clear space = clear mind.
Play some ambient music in the background if you need something to break the silence. Preferably choose a background sound with no lyrics or a beat to distract you. The music will keep you focused if you need it.
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a. how to stop relying on motivation purely.
Motivation often comes in short bursts and fades away, leaving you less determined to pursue your goals. Relying solely on motivation means you only act when you feel like it. Sometimes, we need to do things that benefit us even when we don’t feel like it. That's why motivation isn’t reliable in the long run. Instead, we need to develop discipline. Discipline helps you push through when you don’t feel like doing something, focusing on the long-term benefits rather than your current feelings. Doing something over and over again builds a habit, this will make it easier to get up and get it done without a fuss.
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xoxo
E.B
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devilfic · 1 year
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part three to this series
"so you're not a vampire?" miguel grunts at you. "and you don't drink blood?"
"not recreationally, no." he glances up from the work on his desk (a new one, without all the claw marks) at you and you're giggling. he hides his own smile by looking down.
"what are the fangs for, then?"
"they paralyze. I use it on villains who don't come quietly."
"just villains?"
you're not smiling anymore, a forced look of propriety on your face, and that gives you away instantly. miguel's stare locks on you like a missile, "where is this going?"
you try to look uninterested in the topic, even though he can feel you practically vibrating with curiosity as you pace back and forth in front of his desk. back and forth, back and forth, back and forth until you create a breeze that carries your sweet scent to him and he has to fight the urge to inhale as deeply as he would like to. you'd caught him the last time, when you'd had him pinned to the mat with your knee on his chest and he'd had no excuse. "one of your weird spider quirks," you'd reasoned for him, but the way you've looked at him since told him you didn't completely buy that.
"I just wanted to know if it was painful. I thought I could ask someone in the spider society."
miguel narrows his eyes and you stare back, unblinking, "I imagine paralyzing venom hurts a lot."
"but on someone like us," you start, approaching his desk and placing your hands on top of his paperwork, "on someone like me... I'm just curious."
miguel had never... asked how it felt. in the moment, when the spider instincts took over, he was a blur. the talons would cling into the villain's skin, his fangs would spring forth, and it would just happen. he was always conscious enough not to overdose them, but he didn't care if it hurt. didn't care if they flailed and whined while he held them down and bit clean into their flesh. it was one of the more uncomfortable parts of his reality, letting the spider take over. trusting it.
it was what had scared him so much when you'd offered to let him spar with you. the fear that the spider would take over and, even though it had never failed him before, he wouldn't come back in time.
"I want you to bite me." you declare.
"absolutely not- and don't say you can handle it."
"I could, though. you've never killed anyone with that venom, right? even if you were to get mad enough, I'd be fine."
"I'm not biting you just so you can know what it feels like."
"well, what if I wagered with you?" you offer, grinning, "we fight. I lose, you bite me."
"how do I know you wouldn't lose on purpose?"
"okay, fair enough. I win, you bite me. I lose... I do whatever you want."
"you already do whatever I want. that's your job."
"something else, something outside of work. whatever you want. deal?" you hold your hand out to him, a dangerous proposition. miguel isn't even thinking about the bite anymore. he's thinking about what he'd want with you, what he'd really want, and he feels like he might let you win just so that he wouldn't have to come to terms with that.
it was a cruel ask of you, knowing how much he worried about hurting you, but he couldn't deny you. it was becoming a fatal flaw in your growing, confusing relationship.
you take miguel to the training quarters and come at him with a vengeance. when you sparred before, he was always the one unhinged, blood rushing in his ears with the anger that you willingly took again and again and again. but now, he's cautious. he has nothing to take out on you. this is entirely you.
he can't understand you. can't understand why you offer yourself up to him in this way, how you feel so comfortable with him. you don't flinch away or fear him, regardless of how much he played up that image of himself. it was like you were seeing through him constantly. like he was bare to you and only you.
his mind only comes back to him when you have him pinned to the mat, serious as you wrestle his arm away from your throat. he thinks back to your deal.
whatever he wanted?
you catch his eye and the fire in your gaze alights once more. you know you're winning.
whatever he wanted. he could...
his arm hits the mat and he melts like putty, giving in. you're giddy as you sit on his chest with the most triumphant expression. then, you hold your arm out to him, waiting, eager.
he looks between you and the supple skin of your outstretched arm. he takes it carefully in one hand, the gentlest he's ever handled anything since... and he lets his fangs pierce through.
your chest starts heaving, excitement overtaking the wince as the venom starts spreading underneath your skin. miguel's tongue presses against your skin, tastes the saltiness of your sweat and can feel the blood coming to the surface, can taste the iron tang of it as it spills past his lips.
he almost shuts his eyes as his senses all focus in on you, you, you. your smell your taste your pulse your breathing-
his teeth retract and he immediately composes himself, letting your arm go, "are you okay?" he whispers.
you look at the spot where he'd bitten you, four perfect holes where his spit and your blood intertwine. it's growing red and beginning to swell. you touch the skin and pain throbs up the rest of your arm, but it's not unbearable. numb but fine. nothing worse than a spider bite, really.
you're quiet, trying to flex your hand to no avail. he hadn't used a lot of it, just enough venom to give you the feeling you were looking for. "yeah, hurts."
miguel can't help it. he laughs a full-bodied laugh that shakes you as you sit on top of him. it's contagious and eventually you're laughing too, falling off him and curling up next to him on the mat, filling the room with your intertwined laughter. the other spider-people training must have been giving you both strange looks, but miguel couldn't bring himself to care. he hasn't let himself be held like this in months, hadn't embraced the feeling of a soft, warm touch like the one your hands on his arm give him.
you were abrupt. your strangeness was alarming, almost threatening in the beginning, but now he sees it for what it is. an invitation. a chance to let himself go. he hasn't been this happy in a while.
part four
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touchlikethesun · 8 months
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okay okay okay, but we need to talk about the name etymologies of the four central characters of haikyuu!! because it is literally impossible to talk about it too much. first let's break down all the kanji in their family names!
(sidenote: all of the translations were pulled from wikitionary, so if any of the meanings are actually egregiously incorrect, pls lmk!!)
影 kage - shadow 山 yama - mountain 口 guchi - mouth 月 tsuki - moon 島 shima - island 日 hi - sun 向 nata - direction
adding a readmore because this got so much longer than i intended it to be
so some of these are talked more about in the fandom than others. i think it's practically common knowledge (if it isn't, well now you know) that the first kanji of hinata's name (日) means "sun" and the first kanji of tsukki's name (月) means "moon," and that this was done on purpose to highlight their roles in the story as foils and as a sun and moon analogy. tsukki and hinata are quite literally polar opposites in their approach to volleyball (they are, one might say, like night and day). tsukishima with his physical advantage yet reluctance to try too hard compared with hinata's overwhelming physical disadvantage and his willingness to go above and beyond, to the point that he can't even fathom how not to give 110% at all times. (there's so much more to say about this symbolism but i'll leave it there, gotta stay focused rip).
the first kanji in kageyama's name (影) meaning "shadow" i feel like most people are aware of as well, this symbolises his general mood (sorta a comparison with tsukishima too imo, darkness and the moon etc., but that's quite subtle), and again this furthers his parallel with hinata, juxtaposing light and darkness, but the kanji for yama (山) which we find in both kageyama and yamaguchi's name, means mountain, which represents both reliability and strength. this works for both kageyama and yamaguchi in different ways. from day one at karasuno, all of the team members can count on kageyama to perform, be it setting, serving, receiving, he is all around the uncontested best player on the team, and serves as the base for nearly all of their strategies. yamaguchi doesn't have the same dependability in terms of athletic performance (at the start of the series), but in a lot of ways he is a grounding force in among the first years, and in his relationship with tsukki he is very much a needed support, tsukishima depends on yamaguchi for... god for so much actually.
and then there's the second kanji in tsukishima's name (島)... meaning "island," it is very clearly meant to represent the isolation tsukki both feels and imposes on himself at the start of the series. i also think it's of note that an island is opposed to a mountain - both are large(-ish) landmasses but the mountain is connected to the rest of the land while an island is all alone...
the individual kanji all have a lot of symbolism going on but when you put some of them together, i think you get a new significance...
日向 hinata - the direction sun in shining 影山 kageyama - the dark side of the mountain 山口 yamaguchi - the mountain’s opening (or mouth maybe cave?) 月島 tsukishima - moon island
to get them out of the way, the compound meanings of tsukishima and yamaguchi don't seem very narratively significant, but i am more than open to analyses you might have that i didn't think of! :)
however hinata and kageyama seem poetic to me in a way that i don't think is accidental. i did take some liberties with the phrasing (kageyama could also be written as "the mountain's shadow"), but it doesn't change the overwhelming symbolism. the dark side of the mountain is obviously juxtaposed with the light side, but how do you create a shadow? well the sun has to shine on something... the direction of hinata's sun shining on the kageyama's mountain making the shadow... i admit i might be reaching with this one. but i like it.
initially, i had only planned to look into their family names, but after finding so much symbolism, i though why not look into their given names and boy oh boy am i glad that i did~
飛 tobi - flight, fast, high 雄 o - something large powerful and masculine (yang) 翔 sho - soar 陽 yo - alt. the sun, positive, (yang!!!!) 蛍 kei - derived from firefly 忠 tadashi - loyal, devoted, faithful
where do i even begin i legit have tears in my eyes okay, first things first, kei has always been my favourite name in all of haikyuu, i just like how it sounds, i think it's so pretty, and in looking up the meaning of the kanji i've grown to love it even more. as a masculine name, 蛍 is pretty rare, it's more commonly used for female names and the most common reading isn't kei it's hotaru. i like that tsukishima has a relatively unique first name, but what really gets me is the etymology. the kanji 蛍 is the same kanji for firefly, and when the kei pronunciation is used, it means fluorescent. i absolutely love this for tsukishima, because we are being given two different messages with his family name and his given name. on the one hand, his family name would have us believe that tsukki is like the moon, only able to be seen at night and only capable of reflecting the lights of others, but his given name tells us that, while it might be a soft glow, tsukki does have a light of his own, he is in fact able to shine by himself.
compared to 蛍, 忠 is a much more common given name, meaning loyal or devoted. i think sometimes people misunderstand the dynamics between tsukishima and yamaguchi, so please don't take this as me saying something i'm not, but tadashi really is loyal to kei in a very special way, and this is clearly something that furudate wanted to highlight, as this is not the only time he's made reference or used symbolism for tadashi's loyalty to kei. i do think that this devotion extends past tsukki too, and tadashi's loyalty is another part of what makes him such an important part of karasuno (and eventual team captain).
now. for the big ones. i really hope people are still reading because i saved the best for last just because i know i'll collapse into a puddle of tears once i finish typing this section out
if you look at tobio and shouyou's names individually, they do fit them very well; 飛 (tobi) being the kanji for flight ties kags to the sport of volleyball, and the alt meaning of height i think references how high he is going to aim for and eventually reach, and 雄 (o) symbolising something powerful and masculine i think does fit kags' vibe. likewise, 翔 (sho) forshadows hinata's jumping abilities and his bird-like nature, and 陽 (yo), a kanji that has sooo many potential meanings, among which are sun and positivity, further underscores hinata's sun symbolism and his optimistic outlook. astute readers might have already noticed, the first kanji of tobio's name (飛) and the first kanji of shouyou's name (翔) have very similar meanings, one might even go as far to say that they are synonyms. both kags and hinata learn to fly at karasuno together, and they both aspire to the same upwards trajectory, literally in the game for hinata, and figuratively in their careers as pro volleyball players, and this similarity is underscored by the similarity in the meanings of the first kanji of their given name. but the kicker, the last kanji of their given names, 雄 (o) and 陽 (yo) not only sound similar, but they both are kanji that can be used to write yang as is yang, the opposite of yin! shouyou and tobio's names are literally synonyms of one another!! for all the differences apparent in their family names, their given names are literally the same name just a different font and i absolutely love it so much, because we spend so much time talking about how different hinata and kageyama are but part of the reason that they click and clash the way that they do is that they are so similar to one another in ways that they aren't like anyone else, it's what makes their rivalry and their partnership as strong as they are and it's so so so important to remember that these boys are always on the same wavelength!! clearly we're meant to think like this, since furudate chose these as their names...
one last little note, it might be hard to tell if (like me) you aren't used to reading caligraphy, but the same kanji in tobio's name is the kanji on karasuno's banner: 飛
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so just in case there was any doubt as to where tobio belongs. his name is literally on karasuno's banner i can't i can't i can't
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AITA for calling my brother a control freak?
My (24M) brother, L (31M), got married to a great woman last week (S, 34F). They had this big wedding where I was one of the groomspeople (it was a very gender weird wedding, the groomspeople and bridespeople were of any gender). This whole AITA is mostly in relation to me, L, and the man of honor (bride's best friend), M (22M).
I had heard a lot about M from S and that he was a pretty fun guy. I did not expect him to be off the wall hot. Literally the definition of tall dark and handsome. Someone should have kept me in the loop about this.
Anyway, we had been working on setting up the wedding together and getting to know each other, and it was pretty clear he was flirting with me, and I was more than happy to flirt back.
Though when it was time for the wedding and rehearsal dinner, he was barely talking to me. At the reception I asked him why he was avoiding me, and he seemed reluctant to tell me but then said that L had asked him not to talk to me. I pretty much told him "well, L can fuck off," and left the reception with his number and a promise for a date next week, seeing as we live in the same city.
I didn't wanna start shit at the wedding so yesterday I texted L and asked him why he told M not to talk to me.
Turns out that M has a reputation as, to put it plainly, a bit of a slut. He tends to sleep around a lot and doesn't manage to keep a partner for more than a few months. L told me that he didn't want me to get my heart broken by someone who only wanted me for sex, seeing as I'm not into casual hookups or short-term stuff (I have told him this in the past, he's not just guessing).
I told him that I'm not a child anymore, he's acting like a control freak, and that I can be friends with, date, or fuck who I want. He never responded but a few hours later S texted me and said I upset him.
M made no indication that he wanted this to be something fleeting. He seemed genuinely interested in me and I was genuinely interested in him. But I feel like I might be the asshole because L practically raised me since my dad sucks shit and it only makes sense that he'd be protective of me.
AITA for snapping?
What are these acronyms?
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months
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Hi,
I am very much not american so I must admit that my first impulse when seeing all the rap/racism discourse was something like "do I really need to consume more american culture, it's fucking everywhere already". Idk but to me it feels like american/english-speaking culture absolutely dominates a lot of the world, sometimes at the cost of out own cultures and languages, if something is in English it is "good", if it is in own own languages it is "bad". Musicians often start singing in English and more american-like after a while to get bigger. We value American culture and music, they mock our accents (and languages sometimes) and best case scenario see us as funny and silly.
Then I started thinking. Do you think that americans kind of see rap kind of like foreign music still? Like low-brow unexotic foreign music.
I don't know this is a really fresh thought and I'm not sure if I am explaining it very well.
hey first off I just want to say -
you are entirely correct in your reaction that people outside of America/the English-speaking world do not need more American culture thrust upon them! this discussion is extremely centered on Americans, the reception and reaction to rap within America, and excuses that white American use to avoid interacting meaningfully with Black culture, art, and ideas. while anti-Blackness as an issue obviously extends far outside of America, this particular conversation is deeply tied to American culture. I appreciate you pointing that out!
I also think you're point about rap, and by extension other Black artforms, being Othered in American pop culture. certainly in terms of language, African American Vernacular English (AAVE), which is utilized by many rappers, is still heavily disputed in its validity as a "real" language, with many dismissing it as a bastardized version of "proper" English and associating it heavily with those who are lower-class and uneducated. in a similar way to many international artists having to work in English to gain wider recognition and validation, many Black Americans are proficient in "code switching," the practice of switching between AAVE that they likely grew up speaking and an English dialect that is considered more "professional."
similarly, I think your use of the term "low-brow" is very apt. Black music has always been met with distrust and disdain by white audiences. there's a reason that so many people feel the need to bring up sex, drugs, and violence when they talk about rap; to many white cultural gatekeepers that was all rap was. (and, like, we should very much talk about why that is in and of itself a bad thing, when white crime is so often glorified in pop culture. why is the Godfather a classic masterpiece but Black men making art about their own experiences with racism, violence, poverty, and survival don't deserve serious consideration?) and that didn't start with rap! in the early 20th century jazz, also a Black creation, was seen as dangerous for promoting promiscuity among nice white teens. no matter what Black people make, white cultural gatekeepers will find a way to start a moral panic about it.
the reverse also happens as well, with Black people being treated as foreigners even in music genres that they helped pioneer. Black Americans were hugely formative in the early days of country, but are met with hostility in the contemporary country scene. Lil Nas X's Old Town Road was one of the biggest songs of the year it was released and undeniably country but was largely snubbed by country music community, and Beyoncé's new country album, Cowboy Carter, is a direct response to her hostile reception at the Country Music Awards in 2016.
the point being, yes, I don't think it's off-base to say that, to many Americans, rap and Black music and art generally are like... very optional and avoidable parts of pop culture in the way that more white-dominated genres are not, similarly to a lot of international and especially non-English art.
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lilly-chou-chou · 1 year
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Gyaru: A guide for newbies and a love letter for seasoned gyals.
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There were a lot of things that made me post about this. I thought a lot about it for years but recently I had an interaction which confirmed my mind.
As a woman who had been doing gyaru since the age of 4, I have few guides for gyaru that you may agree with or not, but I am posting this regardless because I want this to be known, especially by new gyals.
Gyaru is a movement which moulds modern japanese feminism and breaks boundaries that previously pushed women to only be of certain category.
This to say, there are indeed a lot of subculture under the umbrella term like hime, rokku, agejo and such.
My guides start from here on. When you first decide to start gyaru fashion I suggest you explore your options, try our different styles, fave fun and go with what works for you.
There is a lot of misconception that just because you prefer one subculture more doesn't mean you are lesser knowledgeable in other subcultures. You are free to do what makes you happy and pretty because gyaru was the staple for just doing eccentric fashion, it was never about rules and policing others. The culture was born because they opposed Japan's view of women. When women were forced to be me meek, sensitive, weak, soft spoken... Gyarus were the opposite they were loud, brash, tanned and knew how to have fun.
Gyarus were safe space for women who didn't want to be judged and just wanted to have fun.
Of course when you start out you always can look at tutorials and what not but remember to always feel pretty and enjoy what you're doing. Stop thinking and flush out people who police you about "wear this" "don't wear that!" "Wtf don't buy this!" "Are you stupid? You don't even own any brands wow you are not a REAL gyal" and the most funniest part is that these things come from just foreigner gyals.
As a person who also lived in Tokyo for a while and used to practically live inside Shibuya 109 I can assure you that Japanese gyals will NEVER EVER say anything like foreigner gyals and police you because they genuinely want you to have fun, gyals out of all people are no. 1 in not caring about rules and just doing it purely for fun.
Back then if you went to Tokyo then you could see every sub culture co existing and hanging out sharing tips, sharing clothes from different brands and hyping each other up.
Never feel you are less or unworthy, never listen to people who tell you, you are doing it wrong because you mix 2 sub cultures in your fashion.
Live your truth and enjoy. You are the most prettiest gyal ever. Live your life full slay.
In conclusions I just wanted to post this so newer gyals don't feel pressured or scared to know and explore more of our beautiful community and for old gyals to remind them once again what a beautiful culture we chose to follow and how fun they really are.
Love you my gyals, let's keep this community thriving <3
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nightmare-niko · 2 months
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ATEEZ responses to “What are we?” [Hyung Line]
Warnings: NON IDOL ATEEZ!! NO MENTIONS OF Y/N!! GENDER NEUTRAL READER!! a lot of lying down and doing nothin! Mentions of weed!
A/n: I found this prompt list on Pinterest! I can link my Pinterest page on my master list!! Also you can def tell which members are my favorites😅 sorry not sorry!!
Copying or translating my writing is not allowed. If you see my work on another site it is stolen. Reblogs are appreciated and encouraged.
Masterlist
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Kim Hongjoong:
You would spring the question. on him randomly one night while hanging out in your room. Both of you in baggy pjs, limbs tangled together on your bed.
The room was dimly lit by the purple LED lights lining your nearby desk. You were calm, too calm. That’s why you popped your head up to look at the man next to you.
“Hongjoong, what are we?”
You watched as the corners of his mouth curled up, “You know what we are. You just wanna hear me say it.” He lifted his hand up to play with a lose piece your your hair.
Guilty. You blush, “maybe i do, Maybe I don't…”
He let’s out a content sigh, “you’re mine, l'm yours. Sound good?"
“Sounds perfect.”
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Park Seonghwa:
The two of you have been friends for a while. Most of your hangouts consisted of you hogging Seonghwa’s bed while he sat at his desk while he played legos.
Every once in a while you would show him a funny post. After a while, your mind started to wander. You found your eyes falling onto Seonghwa. He wasn’t paying attention to you, all of his focus was on the LEGO set taking up his whole desk. You had bought it for him not too long ago.
The cashier had asked you if the set was for you. Not bothering to lie, you told her they were for your friend. But was Seonghwa just your friend? Buying a boy a set of legos was practically marriage in this day and age!
…Were you and Seonghas a couple— or just friends? You didn't know for sure.
“What are we?" You broke the silence with your intense question.
You heard him chuckle at your question, “I don’t thing that’s up to just me, now is it?”
You were taken aback at his honesty, "well I don't know? Do you like me?"
"Of course,” His voice was as calm as ever while you felt your heartbeat slowly rise. “Do you like me?”
You hum, "sometimes.” You joke.
“Wha-!" He whips his chair around, fake betrayal painted on his beautiful features.
"I'm Kidding!" You smile at him.
Seonghwa crosses his arms across his chest, pouting cutely. "I take it back I don’t like you anymore."
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Jeong Yunho:
[a/n 2.0: I use the terms pen and vape interchangeably but I’m talking abt a normal weed pen🤓]
You and Yunho were best friends.
All best friends have rituals, some may shop, or play videogames. But for you and your best friend, it was smoking weed in your room. Yunho wasn’t allowed to smoke at the dorm due to Seonghwa’s rules, he lucked out that his best friend had their own place.
You balanced all of your stacks on top of eachother. Slowly making your way to your bed where Yunho layed sprawled out. You dumped everything onto him before kicking off your slippers and moving him out of the way.
“You take up so much room, bro." You complain, taking out your pen and clicking it five times to turn it on. Before you could even take your first hit of the night, Yunho was taking the pen out of your hand and taking one long hit.
"Thanks babe," he throws the vape back into your general direction.
You groan and cursed at him under your breath, Flustered at the nickname. You were thankful for the dim lighting. Finally taking your first hit, you take a moment to take in Yunhos apperence.
His face bare, his sort black hair fell perfectiy over his forhead. The hood From his hoodie was pulled on, he looked beautiful, but when did he not?
Too busy staring, you forgot to exhale your puff, the burn becoming too much before you let out a nasty cough. Gasping dramatically you reach out to Yunho who nonchalantly opens a water bottle before putting up to your lips to drink.
"Thanks baby." You blow him a kiss, and he giggles softly. God he was perfect.
As the night went on, the two of you got higher, passing the pen back and forth. Maybe it was just the weed (definitely wasn’t), but your best friend was looking too hot for your own good.
Here the two of you were, shoulder to shoulder on your bed, Sharing snacks and drinks. Almost as if the two of you were a couple. More times than not you felt like a couple, how come the two of you hadn't had the conversation?
“What are we?” Your hand flies to slap over your mouth. It was too late, your didn't mean to say that out loud. “wait no-I didn't."
His laughter rung out in your otherise quiet bedroom. Yunho turns on his side to face you, you mirror him, “whatever we are, I wouldn’t ask for anything difterent.”
The two of you couldn’t keep serious at his cheesy line. Immediately breaking out in loud laughter, “Mr. Cool guy over here!!” You tease him, hiding your face against his chest to conceal your laughter.
Smiling ear to ear, his large hand wraps around your arm gently, pulling you back to look at him. "I just wanted to seem cool, you made me nervous!”
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Kang Yeosang:
Yeosang wasn’t the biggest fan of physical affection. But for some reason he can't fathom the thought of sleeping with out you in his arms. The two of you didnt live together, not technically.
That didnt stop the two of you from being in the same bed everynight. When you weren't together, he would text you to tell you he couldn’t sleep. Then the next day one of his roomates would text you about how grumpy your boyfriend was.
Wait- Boyfriend? No - Yeosang wasn't—was Yeosang your boyfriend?!
When you heard your front door open and close, your heart sunk. He had a hey, of course he did. What if he got out of work when you weren't home? Going back home to an empty bed was a big no for him.
You stayed on your bed anxiously, his footsteps grew louder as he approached your room.
“Hey, Yeosang. How was work?” You croak out timidly.
Letting his bag flop of his arm he furrows his eyebrows. "Yeosang?" He questions.
"That's your name last l checked,” you chuckle.
"Not to you? Is something wrong?"
You sigh and smile at him, “no Sangie, nothings wrong,” you try your best to reassure him, "Go shower quickly and come back. You’re all sweaty
“Okay..." He looks at you suspiciousy, not convinced your not mad.
One quick shower later and Yeosang was back in your room, excitedly making his way into his Side of your bed. You cursed yourself mentally for being so freaked out about something stupid it was freaking Yeosang out.
“Are you sure nothings wrong…?”
“What are we?” You blurt out, looking at the boy next to you. He looked stunning, his hair pushed away from his face, under his hair you could still see his birth mark.
"Whatever you’d like us to be, silly." He smiles gently.
You pause for a moment, somewhat surprised at how calmly he answered you. "So…boyfriend girlfriend?"
"That's fine by me, darling. But I’m tired so let’s sleep.”
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Tag list (If you want to be added just comment!)
@nallasstuff
@chmpgneprblem
@qoopeeya
@lilybellalana
@sleepysongbirdsings
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shortpplfedup · 23 days
Text
Man it has been weird talking about QL lately because the Calvinism has been jumping out in fandom. Lots of 'deserve' talk and a whole lot of the idea that there are prerequisites to romance. And not in the sense of discussing narrative structure or character development or dramatic effect, all of which are both expected and welcome in a community of people who watch and discuss stories for fun. But the 'I don't like this so it shouldn't exist' has been rampant lately.
The point of stories is to help us all understand the world and each other better, not just to reinforce and entrench our personal beliefs or create moral cul de sacs. Romance stories aren't relationship manuals, they're not best practice or 'how-to' guides, they're not anything but stories about two or more fictional people who you may or may not personally identify with falling for one another and trying to figure out if or how to be together. As a student of humanity I find that mostly fascinating to watch happen in as many permutations as I can get. 'I don't like this' is a perfectly valid reaction, this is literally why fandom invented the term YMMV - Your Mileage May Vary. It's to remind us that we all see and experience the world very differently. But 'I don't like this so it shouldn't exist' is how the fash wins y'all, remember that.
I think about this kind of thing a lot doing a show unpacking romantic stories with three other people, all with varying mileage on romance and storytelling. And we...disagree! And have strong feelings because of personal experiences! Sometimes people even get mad! But while we might question the point of a story, or even drag the ever living fuck out of it because we hate it so much (here's looking at you The Shipper 🤣) in the end we assign these stories their place in our various firmaments and we go out and touch our various literal and figurative patches of grass. To remind ourselves that the world is vast and full of things we like, and when we don't like something we can just say 'well jeez, I didn't like that' and leave it right there. And it works!
What am I saying? Idk exactly. Y'all seem stressed. Go outside.
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i’m curious. what is your solution instead of voting for Harris? I 100% agree with you that her/her party/the system she will work in are facist, have committed countless atrocities against their own people and others, all of it. I really do agree with you. I guess what I don’t understand is what other realistic option there is right now. Not voting for Harris or voting independent is statistically highly likely to bring about a trump presidency, which would be (of the two) expontentially more harmful for our communities here in America and across the world, including palestine.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is it’s true you can’t put the fire out from inside the house. participating in a poisoned system isn’t going to be the cure. But is there really a realistic way to get outside of the house? Is there really a way to secure funding, land, and resources for sustainable practices entirely separate from the colonial state we live in? And would putting effort toward those methods bring about more peace and freedom to marginalized communities - including those in Palestine, India, Bangladesh, Sudan, and countless others, than working with the cards the system gave us? Or at least, not working against them? Global politics govern our lives whether we want them to or not. I don’t think it’s possible to separate our situation from that, nor from our nation’s political system. I feel it is nigh impossible to attempt any sort of reform without working with the colonial state, as horrible as it may be.
Would love to hear your thoughts. I’ve read many of your posts and am just curious as to your direct response to this question - I do not intend to take away from all the other work you’ve done in attempting to educate and establish your point. Thank you for your time and I wish you health.
You are ready to go Offline it seems. I think a lot of people are honestly. A lot of people seem stuck on voting being the option with no clue for what else to do.
And since you are asking in good faith, I'll answer in good faith.
You are asking all of the right questions. So much that I can not answer this ask in detail. You'll have to seek out more specific information yourself. I can really only point you in the right direction.
That said let me run through what I can say in bullet points rq.
All of this is very rough and vague. that's intended. You gotta find the step by step guides on your own.
There's no guarantee kamala will win and so you shouldn't conduct yourself as if her winning is relevant to fighting fascism. Likewise, her losing shouldn't be seen as a crushing defeat, long term it means nothing.
Is there away to get outside the house? Yeah. The Black Panthers were experts at this and there is no shortage of literature, podcasts, and analysis about their work for you to learn from. It's why they were so dangerous. They were efficiently and quickly building an entirely new system that didn't need capitalism, cops, or politicians to function
This bullet point is also about the Black Panthers like I really want to drill it in that the extent of mutual aid, organization, community health, and community safety they provided was LITERALLY revolutionary and is the legitimate blueprint. Pls pls pls pls learn about their praxis. It even happened relatively modern/recent times so its truly invaluable knowledge to have for the person who wants to know what to do Right Now. Palestinian and global solidarity in general was also Very important to them. have u stressed them enough? I think I have
Build these groups of people (sometimes called pods) like branches in different areas. Expand to cross-state mutual aid networks. Those same connections/people shutting down highways, military ports, etc. Imagine the power of an organized people. That's how we as Americans will earn the trust of the global community. Putting our money where our mouths are when it comes to direct action and community care.
There's a REASON they made taking down organizations like The Black Panthers a top priority and never allowed them to get that far. The potential power they had was to topple the empire. And the state knew it.
You gotta be willing to get uncomfortable and be told you're wrong. Every time it happens itll be with love, I assure you. This next step of work requires trust and vulnerability and growth like you wouldn't believe. You will fuck up or misstep or speak over someone. Learn to take those hits to your ego and not take it personally now.
I mean it. Being online and learning is a whole different ball game than direct action/praxis. Nobody is going to coddle your hurt feelings and they won't invite you back if youre constantly just creating more labor for the people around you. They expect you to hold yourself accountable. People who do this work are very much not babysitters. It's high-key why it's it's hard for cops to infiltrate [redacted] circles
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From Anarchist Direct Actions: A Challenge for Law Enforcement
That's not to say it doesn't happen. It does. Which is another reason people do not fuck around with the company they keep when it comes to offline praxis.
Here are a few books Im trying to read rn that seem relevant to this ask, if anyone else has something else/better to rec to anon, please do 💗
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Also gonna link these because I can
There are no upcoming dates but linking this anyway because it's worth considering that you should train for certain kinds of direct action
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