#we fan game in this mothafucka

[genericdragon]

Seeing everyone else do their cool Portal 2 anniversary fancy art and being like "dam I shoulda done something like that" but then remembering how I get anxious posting in the main fandom

[crusherthedoctor]

Out all the eggman boys he pilots for battle and what not like the egg dragoon or death egg robot, what are some of your favorites? And do you have any ideas you wish he would employ in the future?

It should be mentioned that, being the Eggman fanboy that I am, I love many of them, even the simplest or shittiest ones (ie: Egg Dealer), because the aesthetic of Eggman's style really appeals to me, and the way his machines can range from goofy to intimidating, or both simultaneously, can be seen as an extension of how versatile the doctor himself is.

Still, I do have my favourites. Most of them are the ones you'd expect, but here goes:

Well you gotta start with the classic, don't you? The first of Eggman's king-sized monuments to his own visage, and more than deserving of its iconic reputation.

This one's a fan favourite when it comes to his smaller scale Egg Mobile attachments, and it's easy to understand why. It's an undeniably brilliant design that doesn't have any obvious weaknesses for armchair intellectuals to point and go "Why does this video game boss have that? That's stupid, IQ of 300 my ass, I'm such a clever internet person, please give me all your praise".

The Death Egg Robot may be the one everyone knows, but the Great Eggman Robo is the one we all strive for. Both phases of the fight may be straightforward, but the scale of the behemoth cements the tense atmosphere, and it happens to be smack dab in the middle of arguably the greatest finale in a Sonic game, which is as wonderful as it is in part due to Eggman never, ever giving up.

A more unconventional choice here. There may not be much to these two fights in particular, but I just really like the general concept of Eggman taking ancient statues or other such structures, and weaponizing them. It's a nice spin on his usual motif of converting Mother Nature to his own preference, as well as defacing ancient histories and legacies for the sake of his own.

Both of Eggman's final mechs in SA1 are awesome. The Egg Viper is a really cool design and gave birth to a certain meme, and the Egg Walker marked the climax of one of Eggman's best moments and one of Tails' best moments.

Speaking of Egg Walkers, I like this one too. Yeah, it's no secret that I don't like how Eggman - the guy known for making all sorts of crazy crafts - is stuck in one tiny thing for a whole game's duration (even though I'm aware it's for gameplay's sake, but still), but on its own merits, the Walker itself is still cool in my book.

Putting them together because they're more or less the same mech. Nothing special here, I just think they're cool "modern" interpretations of the Death Egg Robot-style humanoid mech. And yes, I know Eggman technically didn't pilot the Egg Emperor in Heroes... but he did in Generations 3DS, so get it up yee.

Another one you knew was coming. Don't we all love the Egg Dragoon? So do Sonic Team, it seems. The Dragoon is one bad mothafucka, and the way Generations added to it by incoporating an Egg Viper tail and the Egg Wyvern's wings made it even more badass. Unleashed may not be one of my favourite games in the series, but I'm thankful that it gave me this winner right here.

These two don't really have much in common (aside from the colour blue), but I put them together because thanks for nothing, Tumblr image limits.

Anyway, I've always felt the Egg Wizard deserved more recognition. The design is interesting in itself and keeps to the nautical theming of Rush Adventure, but what REALLY makes it stand out is the way it uses the power of the Jeweled Scepter, and how we get to see some crazy magic that you don't often get from Eggman robots. Like giant dragon heads made of lava, for example. And the fight is plenty enjoyable too.

As for the Time Eater, it may not have gotten much if any story to its own nature, which is a shame, but at least we got a nice clockwork motif out of it, and the way it jitters gives the impression that it's trying desperately to fight back against Eggman's control, but can't. And speaking of, Eggman FINALLY controlling a monster successfully is worth celebrating... unless you forgot like Ian Flynn apparently did, since Worlds Collide claimed he lost control of it. Typical Flynnanigans, eh?

I'm absolutely in love with the idea of Eggman being crafty enough to store a second mech inside the first one in the event of the latter's defeat. It's the perfect way to cap off Eggman's consistent display of brilliance and foresight in Forces. The designs themselves are pretty sweet, with the first one taking cues from Alfred Molina Dr. Octopus, and the second one being an eerie mess of wires and tentacles, as if it were the "heart" of the first mech. And say what you want about the so-so execution of the fight itself, but the sound design that went into it is seriously overlooked.

Just a shame they're collectively known as just Death Egg Robot, seeing how they don't have anything in common with the actual Death Egg Robot. Neither of them are even fought aboard the Death Egg. They deserve a more unique name IMO, but ah well.

Other examples I really like but couldn't use images for because of Tumblr being Tumblr:

- The Final Zone/Egg Pistons from Sonic 1, cause even though it may be smaller scale than the Death Egg Robot, I like the unique scenario of the room itself being your opponent. The final bosses of Sonic 1 and 2 on Master System have a similar appeal.

- Brass Eggman from the 2013 Sonic 2, because weaponizing an organ of all things is perfect for a man of Eggman's pride and swagger.

- The Egg Totem from Advance 2. No special reason for this one, I just like the simple yet effective design.

- The Gachapandora from Mania, because it's a great way to pay tribute to some older Eggman contraptions, and it suits his manchild personality to a tee.

- The Phantom Egg from Mania (again), because even though it looks like a romper suit mixed with a Pokeball, I really dig the concept of Eggman using a suit of robo-armor to go mano a mano, which this boss comes close to doing, if not entirely.

- The Klepto Mobile from Mania (three time's the charm), because a literal rush job still being able to go toe-to-toe with Phantom King is both incredible and hilarious at the same time. Even Eggman's shittiest efforts are his best! Is there no limit to this man's brilliance???

- Metal Robotnik/Black Eggman/Brak Eggman/Bruh Eggman from the OVA and Sonic Robo Blast 2. I don't know what the doc was thinking when he decided to give a robot based on himself some dragon wings and a spiked mohawk, but I'm glad he went through with it. The final fight with Metal Sonic may be the one everyone talks about (understandably so, it's an awesome scene), but the battle with Bruh Eggman is great too.

- The Eggpod from the movie. As far as translating the doctor's style into live action goes, it's a worthy first attempt, and it's understandable that they didn't go for something bigger since they probably want to save that for the sequel, so as to organically raise the stakes (wink wink, nudge nudge). It also reminds me of the Egg Hornet from SA1. I don't know if that was intentional, but it's something I appreciate all the same.

[aizawaskittenwhore]

  𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭

words:3.7k

pairing: aizawa x fem!reader

warnings: tw mention of blood, tw mentions of death, mentions of drugs in case you forgot this is a cartel au, murder, swearing, keigo being a cocky lil fucker, sexual harassment towards the end cause yakuza men suck

rating: 18+ cause shit gets real this chapter

a/n: i FINALLY FINISHED IT FUCK YES chapter two mothafuckas!!! i’ve been having so much fun brainstorming everything to come, and here you’re gonna really get a feel for how big this cartel is. player two, f/n l/n, you’re up! <3

all rights reserved ©️aizawaskittenwhore. do not copy, repost, or modify.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝’𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 ↳ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

September 13th, 2181

2:56pm

Musutafu, Japan

“Hold the fuck up. This doesn’t make any sense, I mean—these are Pros. Well known and well respected Pros, at that. The hell would they be tryna’ run a fucking cartel for?!?” Ken Takagi (more commonly known as Rock Lock) rubbed the bridge of his nose in confusion, not understanding the motive or correlation. “I mean think about it. These motherfuckers got more money than they know what to do with. Endeavor is a shareholder in goddamn Nintendo, Hawks owns his own fucking agency and line of sports cars, and I could’ve sworn I saw Eraser getting Shinsou fitted for a fucking Cuban on his birthday a few months ago. It’s not like they’re strapped for cash these days.” Ken huffed, the agent’s arms crossed as he leaned back in the conference chair.

In an attempt to try and broaden the range on your current investigation, your department recruited the help of several Pros to provide reinforcements in Japan, the States, and wherever else sales were being made. Going undercover was already plenty dangerous, and going alone was the equivalent of signing your own death warrant. Enlisting the help of Rock Lock, Ryukyu, Miruko, Fatgum, Edgeshot and plenty of others was relatively easy; these were Heroes that had experience with smugglers and narcotics-based operations, so when you’d approached them with the task at hand, they’d happily agreed.

However, some needed more convincing than others.

“Takagi. Think about it. Sure, they may not be living paycheck to paycheck, but look at the timeline.” You state, looking over your shoulder towards the holographic board displaying an interactive timeline of the investigation, including photos, invoices and even audio recordings pulled from surveillance cameras. “Two years ago, we seized a truck containing approximately 78 kilograms of crack cocaine. When we questioned the driver on where he was taking it and where he got it from, he didn’t budge. Luckily for us, the dumbass wasn’t smart enough to avoid a paper trail, leaving the insurance documents in the glove compartment when we’d taken him into custody. The insurance company was under the name “Target Lance”, but after doing some digging on the name we found out the corporation went bankrupt six months before and was eventually bought out by Chevrolet.” Pausing to return to the screen welded to the wall behind you, your hands swiped as you searched for the file reading December 5th, 2178: A live video feed of a towering skyscraper being built, the building’s name reading “Chevrolet Corvette Inc.” as it hovered above tens of stories above each worker.

“But you all haven’t heard the name Chevy in a while right? That’s because two weeks after that building was built, the hundred-million dollar company was bought out by Takami Corporate-”

“-who owns Takami Motors. Which is the brand associated with the Peregrine Speedsters, Hawks’ damned sports car line.” Ken finished for you, brown spheres twinkling in sudden clarity. “Now you’re speaking my language.” You nod, hands waving as you continue to brief the room of Pros.

“The Todoroki and Nintendo console collaboration didn’t happen until about earlier this year, March to be specific. Which is quite convenient..since around that time the price of cocaine per gram stabilized in both America and Japan, rising from $112 to $138 bucks a pop. I’m nobody to speak on looks either, but for as long as we’ve known of him, Eraser has dressed like a depressed college student with insomnia that doesn’t understand the concept of soap or a pair of clippers. Now he’s got his wife in Cartier bracelets and getting his shirts tailored because the collar “doesn’t allow him enough room for his capture weapon”?!? Bullshit.” You huff, stifling a smile as you watch Miruko and Edgeshot snicker in their seats at your...blunt observation.

“It makes sense. Three years ago all our agencies, including those overseas, started cutting our checks down by half. They can barely afford to pay us a quarter of what we used to make, and these guys are making these lavish purchases while we all starve?? No way. Something’s fishy, and it’s damn sure not this takoyaki.” Fatgum spat, hands quivering with rage as he struggled to grasp the food with his chopsticks.

“Fatgum’s right. Hero unemployment is at a staggering 8.7 percent. Meanwhile, these men are spending money like it’s going out of style. It makes no sense.” Miruko pondered, Ryukyu folding her hands in her lap as she voiced her approval for immediate action. Edgeshot nodded in agreement, brows furrowed in frustration at this blatant disregard for the law. “So we’re all in agreement that our own people have resorted to breaking the law. Cool, got it. Question is, why? And what the hell are we gonna do about it?” Ken demanded, his patience having worn thin from all this speculation.

“Good question. I think they’re trying to take advantage of the tough spot the Hero Commission is in right now, manipulate that vulnerability and use it for their own gain. They’re not invulnerable to the tough times Pros are facing in the workforce. So they’ve gotten together to try and make it work for them, even if it means breaking the law.” You query, hands typing furiously at the virtual screen to pull up the files of each Hero, displaying all the current information on them from their blood type to each known family member. “These three banding together though? Along with other people? There’s no way. They hate each other. Or at the very least couldn’t get anything done even if they did have a common goal in mind.” Edgeshot murmured lowly.

“I thought so too. But then it hit me: it’s not just some flimsy group project. Sure, crime has gone up since the formation of this cartel, but nobody who holds any rank has been murdered or harmed in any way. No no no, these guys are singing in tune for now...which means there’s a damn good choir director among them. So I’ve volunteered to go undercover, work my way through this organization and figure out just how high up this goes.” You assert, shoulders rigid and chin aloft as the harnesses of your costume frame your figure.

“Alone?? Are you outta your goddamn mind? Let me go, you’ll need back up-” Rock Lock sputters, hands fanning out in shock.

“No way. What about your wife, your kid?! This isn’t just some average drug bust, we’re dealing with powerful men in possession of superhuman abilities that have the game on lockdown. You’ve got too much to lose, more than any of us anyway. Edgeshot and I will go, we’ve seen the other side of the law before, and our quirks are better suited for stealth should anything go wrong.” You fire, eyes narrowing into slits. “The rest of you will be working in tandem with the DEA and our resources, and we’ll report back to you with all future developments. We’ll also need you to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice, if we need it.”

A thick silence clogged the air, Ken settling back into his seat across the table. His amber eyes flickered in irritation before huffing in acceptance, the situation being out of his hands. All the conference participants’ gazes fixed in determination, some with anger. The tense aura weighed on everyone present before Miruko cleared her throat, ivory teeth gleaming in a smirk.

“Well we’ve got a solid plan. So all I wanna know is...when do we start?

June 2nd, 2182

In all honesty...you thought the nickname was just a sad attempt to stroke his ego. But seeing the way over seventy commercial-size planes and approximately 30 seaplanes sat aloft balmy concrete in the Guadalajara sun showed you exactly why they called Hawks “Lord of The Skies”. Arrays of laborers with avian-oriented quirks loaded kilo after kilo of coke on to each and every plane, some by hand and others by forklift. Welders were personally hand selected by Keigo himself to eliminate the issue of utilizing every available inch of space; each vessel having been stripped of everything from the seats to the built in mini-bars (much to Keigo’s chagrin). From where you stood in the scalding hot beams, the runway seemed to extend for miles as it brimmed with visible heat-waves.

Dressed in a simple black tank top, black biker type shorts, aluminum plated gauntlets, steel toed combat boots and harnesses that encapsulated the curves of your body before coming to a stop at your thighs, you silently rejoiced in the airflow your gear allowed you in spite of the color. The bandanna atop your hairline helped to absorb some of the sweat, which was a bonus.

“Not bad for a starter fleet huh? The wingspan on these babies almost makes me jealous.” A rich and decadent voice called from your left. Sleek carmine appendages and brassy blond hair entered your peripheral vision, giving way to the man who ran the show: Keigo Takami. Adorned in a pair of low rise denim jeans that were so incomprehensibly tight they accentuated every bit of his dick (which was likely intentional), a plain white tee and ebony cowboy boots that looked like they cost three times what you make in a week; he most definitely looked the part of the People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” and Playboy’s “Player of the Month” titles he’d earned. Luminous olive skin glistened with sweat, droplets sliding down the deep v neck of his shirt with ease; the way the daisy-hued fabric stuck to his crafted abdomen leaving nothing to the imagination. Tourmaline and Argentium piercings dangled effortlessly from both ears, and if you weren’t so hell-bent on putting the motherfucker in jail you would’ve had no problem admitting how attractive he really was.

“Starter fleet? You’re about to put Delta out of business, look at this shit!” You guffaw, arms folded, an eyebrow raised in astonishment at his “humble” admission. “Flattery will get you everywhere, and then some.” Keigo chuckles, breath hot against your ear the instant he bends at the waist, hands settled in his pockets with that cocky aura about him.

“-And having your damn breath against my ear in 107 degree weather will, respectfully, get you my foot up your ass. I didn’t fly down here to get treated like one of your poor interns. I came here to make money, so let’s talk it.” You lash, the climbing tempature slicing your tolerance for bullshit to shreds.

“Shit. Straight to the point huh? I like it. You wanna talk shop, say no more. Over lunch though, I’m starving out here.” Keigo clicks his teeth with a grin, escorting the two of you towards the very jet he’d arrived in. “A little unknown fact about me, usually I hate flying ”conventionally”. Gives me anxiety, and I’m awful company when I’m nervous.”

Settling into the light taupe hued cabin, you observe the not-so-subtle elements of class. Ivory shochu bottles with intricate crystalline glasses to match, the bar fully stocked with gold accents along the upholstery. Plates of costly Kobe style beef rested atop spotless porcelain, romaine lettuce coupled with grilled applewood bacon, chicken, avocado and buttermilk dressing settled into envy-inducing black marble bowls. The plane was spacious, and certainly cost a pretty penny or two. “You’re upfront, so I’ll be honest with you. As of right now, this plane is the last thing I’m worried about-” Hawks mutters lowly, dijon eyelets tapering into thin slivers.

“-It’s the Shie Hassaikai making their encore appearance, and with the Colombians at that.”

You choke on a sip of Vega Sicilia, pupils dilating at the thought. 

“Now you spoke about wanting to make some money, right?” You nod, heart rate steadily rising. 

“What if I could offer you something more? Something of...extensive value.” Keigo drawled, dark undertone flooding the air like a thick smoke.  “Like what, Takami?” You inquire.

“A seat at the table.” He shrugs, like one would if they were discussing something as trivial as ice cream flavors or Friday night plans, not the reorganization of a crime syndicate. “You’ve been workin’ for me shy of a year now right? Somethin’ like that? Anyway..”

He takes a deep, contemplative swig of the chestnut liquid, eyes boring into yours. 

“You’re efficient, and you don’t take anyone’s shit. Good help’s hard to find in our line of work, and before you know it, this little hierarchy is gonna go under some..reorganization. Only the people who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty will have a place in the new order, so I want you there.”

“What’s the catch? I’m not dumb enough to just assume this is some promotion for busting my ass.” You tread, brain working double-time to try and decipher just what Keigo’s getting at. “Clever girl. It’s a simple task, in and out.” He assures, middle and ring finger sliding a matte-finish photo across the mahogany. Displayed was Kinan Zango, a member of the Shie Hassaikai’s middle rankings shaking hands with Joaquin Fuentes, a Columbia native known for having a body count in the double digits. 

“Another fact about me: Only one thing heightens my anxiety more than planes...people who fuck with my money. This asshole Kinan’s been selling my routes to the fucking Columbians and pocketing the profits, and getting 20% of the product as a little “thank you” when he knows nobody moves coke through the Gulf other than Takami fucking Keigo. He’s becoming a problem, and I don't like those.” Kei growls, left eye twitching minutely. His nails are sinking into the polish of the wood, his energy vehemently furious.

“Take care of this for me, and you’ll be my plus one to Guadalajara tomorrow.”

The general public often made the mistake of writing Keigo off as just your average “pretty boy”. Whereas a trained eye could see that while he may be pretty, he was nobody to be tested. The sheer intellect he possesses to seek, hand-craft each and every route, assign planes to their designated locations along with alternatives should there ever be an issue? He just didn’t get enough credit. 

So he took major offense when someone had the audacity to treat his hard work as though it was theirs.

Besides.. you got a man with looks, money and bloodlust? Tch. You’ve just created a monster.

You weren’t necessarily opposed to the idea of ridding the world of another drug-dealing degenerate, but the idea of casually committing a murder as a DEA agent in a foreign country just didn't sit right with you. Undercover agents weren’t permitted a “license to kill” should the investigation call for it either, so it was between committing a murder as government agent, or declining Keigo’s request and missing out on a front row seat to the cartel’s entire operation.

The silence that followed his sentence was deafening. Ice cubes chimed loftily as they swirled around inside his glass, clear liquid sloshing around while he awaited an answer.

Your jaw sets, eyes piercing into his. 

“Consider it done.”

Blood spattered onto the pale concrete, moonlight illuminating the scarlet hues. Your knuckles throbbed with pain, the sensation blossoming through your hand as your lips curled back in a snarl, vigorously ridding your hands of the other man’s bodily fluids. 

“ If you really think coming after me for that bird brained motherfucker is gonna change anything, you got another thing fucking coming.” Kinan spat, nose steadily flowing with red. His lip was busted, face splotched with yellowing purple bruises. Tugging at his restraints he thrashed, mouth spewing white-hot venom.

“You’re talking a lot of shit for a middle-ranking yakuza who thinks some new coke routes is gonna keep the Hassaikai from dumping your body on the side of some road in Zacatecas.” You observe, sending a harsh kick between the mans ribs, steel toed boots making an audible crack. “The Japanese are like Dixie Cups to them...”‘use em’ once, then throw em’ away”, right? You’re a fool if you think your days aren't numbered once you wear out your welcome.”

“Fuck you. You’re little boy toy threw a temper tantrum, so he sent you to “take care of things”, isn’t that right?” Kinan coos, eyes softening in a mocking pout. 

“Trust me, you're not the first slut Takami’s been sticking it in that he’s sent to kill me. Only difference between you and the rest of those bitches-” He huffs, head craning back against the metal chair to let our a soft breath of laughter. “-is that you’re gonna put up a fight.”

Suddenly his bones began to shift, popping and snapping as his skin began to pool below him; you recoiled in fear watching his body slowly slip from his imprisonment like gelatin exits a mold.

“I’ve got elastic bones kid! Whatever breaks just snaps right back into place.”

Skin stretching and pulling as he regained his original form, legs sprinting towards you. Before you could fire off your Quirk’s sonic blast his grip seized the back of your neck, a blade taking residence just below your left eye; it’s tip pressing uncomfortably into your water line. 

“Now, if you're good, I’ll make it quick. Though I’m known for being pretty... through with my toys.” Kinan leers, a hand slowly slithering down your sides to reach for the muscle of your ass. 

“Go to hell, and die there while you’re at it!” You shout.

Bile creeping into your throat, you seize the momentary shift in energy, generating a small sound wave that sent Kinan a few feet to your left; giving the two of you some distance. Your Quirk allowed you to absorb sound to power-up your physical movements, or send it out in the form of sonic blasts or sound waves, so the louder the sound, the more power it gave you. Readying your fists in anticipation for combat, you silently willed for a sudden disruption in the deafening silence as he rushed back to your rigid body. 

What you didn’t anticipate was that the sudden bang that filled the air, and the lifeless body of Kinan dropping to your feet with a thud, his head...

excavated, for lack of a better word.

“Don’t you know the entire point of having backup while under cover is to... call for backup?” Edgeshot snarked, striding towards you, gun settled back into it’s holster. His foot carelessly nudged the bleeding man before removing a Polaroid camera from his knapsack and snapping a photo of the carnage.

“W-what the fuck?! Look, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful when I say this, but what the absolute fuck did you just do??? We’re government agents, in a foreign country, we can’t just fucking murder these assholes nor do we have the license to-” You sputter, brows arching in frustration.

“This was your ticket into Guadalajara. I just secured you box seats when you were this close to getting stuck in the damned nosebleeds. I believe the correct words you’re looking for are thank you.” Kamihara snaps, shoving the photo into your hand. 

“We’re in a world completely different from our own. It’s forgiveness first, and permission later down here. I don’t like it either...but it’s just the way things are.” He sighs, hanging his head while his shoulders settled like the solar system rested on them. 

“I’ll take care of this. Now take that to Hawks, and don’t you dare fuck it up. Don’t let me have killed this poor asshole in vain.” 

You nod, stepping over Kinan’s body. 

Good riddance.

“Thank you, by the way.” You putter. Kamihara returns the sentiment with a nod, before turning to the corpse before him, phone raised to his ear as he spoke with whoever was on the opposite line, eyes that were once grey now swam with deep scarlet.

“Excellent work! I won’t lie, I had a feeling you were hardcore, but damn, this is some seamless shit! You deserve my praise.” Keigo beams, pearly teeth sparkling in the light of the cabin. Nodding in acceptance you grasped his hand upon his offering, permitting him to escort you towards your respective aircraft.

“Well, a promise is a promise. And if nothing else, I’m most certainly a man of my word. Meet me at this airstrip same time tomorrow, 8am. Pack light, Mexico’s a bitch in the summer, though you already know that.”

“Got it. Pleasure doing business with you, Hawks.”

“Call me Keigo, if you want. I hate all the formal shit, long as we got respect, that's all I need.” He shrugs.

“Understood. See you tomorrow, Keigo.” You affirm, climbing the ladder to your jet, body visibly relaxing at the thought of rest.

“Wait--before you go, I wanted to ask ya. What’s with the whole ancient hieroglyphics tat you got goin on, on your spine? It just looks familiar, is all.” He queries.

Home.

November 12th, 2174.

“Y/N! I found somethin’! It’s this super cool protection rune I found in grandma’s things. Check it out! It wards off all evil, and whoever’s in possession of it can, like, balance their energy with the divine power.”

“You’re such a hippie, I swear to god.” You grin.

“Don’t hate because my chakras are balanced and yours aren’t, bitch.” She grinned, index and thumb coming together to flick your forehead. 

“At least take it with you for your exam, for good luck! Pleaseeeee! I think it’ll really help.” Her doe eyes melting your steely resolve. You could never deny her, those eyes constantly solidifying her role as the younger sister. 

“...Only if you’ll clean my room for me when I come back for Christmas.” You demand, an eyebrow raised in mirth.

“Deal.”

And even though you never did admit it to her, that tiny piece of paper tucked into your bra did more for you during that exam than any late night cram session ever could’ve.

“It’s a protection rune. To ward off all evil energies, spirits and all that shit.” You mutter.

“Hm. Looks like it works, seeing how well tonight panned out for ya. Could use me one, would probably keep old man Todoroki out my fuckin’ hair.” He chuckles, hands releasing from the railing as he threw you a wave.

“But I wouldn’t worry too much about tomorrow, anyway. I got a feeling you’re gonna fit in just fine with us.” He smirked.

Ah.

If only that were true, Keigo.

taglist! : @liliesoftherainmain @therealwalmartjesus

[hopeishappinessff]

Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 12.1

Hope

The entire campus was in a jovial spirit in the days leading up to the first basketball scrimmage before the start of the season. There were black, bright red, and white flyers hanging left and right in every building. There were events covering every inch of the nearest calendar from campus pep rallies, to parties and gatherings. There was even an unnecessary parade arranged by the city of Athens just for the basketball team! It was all a bit overwhelming since it wasn’t even a real game, but I took in every bit of it and couldn’t deny the sense of excitement I felt from it all. I was excited for the scrimmage, I was excited for the team, but most of all… I was excited for Chris. It was all that I could hope and pray that the lively environment would outweigh whatever funk he was in, but his peculiar behavior just panned out longer, forcing me to believe that something was seriously wrong. He attempted to put on a happy façade, but I knew better. I had a knack for recognizing his troubles and although I knew something was wrong with him, I fell back from the matter to ease the unwanted tension. I didn’t know whether he was putting on the entire façade for the upcoming game, or if he was really trying to fool me into believing he was his typical self again. Whatever it was, I simply had to accept it for what it was and keep moving. With the scrimmage only hours away and people steadily pouring onto campus to wait in the smoldering heat for the arena doors to open, I had hopes that Destani, Cammie, Angel, and I could get there in time for decent seats. Although Chris deliberately pushed a set of four near court side tickets into my hands, promising me that no matter what time we arrived the seats would be vacant, I feared that these die hard Bulldog fans would claim the seats with no shame. It also didn’t make matters any better that with no regard to the time quickly ticking away, Destani forced me to set out on a mission through the overwhelming congested center of campus to find Taylor. He’d told her that him and a few of the other players would be in the Athletics building just before the game and he wanted to see her before setting foot on the court. Following closely behind Destani, I kept my eyes balanced between the uneven pavement beneath me and the untamed tresses of the back of her head, focusing hard on not tripping. She was nearly running and I was trying to keep up with her so we wouldn’t get separated in the crowd.

“Dez, slow down please.” I yelled over the commotion of the crowd.

“So we can get there late and have Tay play horrible ‘cause he couldn’t see me, I don’t think so!” She yelled in return, not even bothering to turn her head in my direction so I could fully hear her. She tugged on my hand as if I were a child about to get lost in a sea of predators, but I couldn’t complain. If it just so happened that we got separated, we probably wouldn’t even be able to use cell phones to find each other in this mass of loud people. With the front doors of the building visible ahead of us, she tugged harder on my hand until she was within reach of the double glass door handles. With a huff, she pulled me through and finally slowed her pace.

“Geez Destani… do you know how many times I almost fell back there?” I complained, whipping loose strands of hair back into the messy bun at the top of my head.

She giggled and sighed, catching her breath after our long hurdle through the throng of obsessed fans “I’m sorry, but that’s how you gotta navigate with these damn crowds… people be wanting to stop all in front of you like you ain’t in no damn hurry. Don’t nobody have time for that.” Rolling my eyes at her rant, I sighed and eyed our new surroundings. The building itself was fairly large and there were weight rooms left and right down the span of the hallway. The scent of sweat and laborious exertion permeated my nose and a sudden waft of remorse washed over me. I couldn’t even imagine what these boys went through day in and day out during their practices. The loud vibration of male voices suddenly surrounded us and I squinted in an effort to spot the source of the commotion. I had even failed to realize that Destani was still speaking to me in a low mumble.

“… and I guess you completely forgot that Chris is probably somewhere here too.” I stared at the back of her head as I tuned in to her words. I hadn’t actually acknowledged that realization and I could no longer control the abrupt excitement I felt after hearing her words. “Babe.” Glancing over Destani’s shoulder, I spotted an ecstatic Taylor rushing toward us from a weight room off to the left side of the hall. Destani squealed and skipped a few steps away from me, greeting Taylor as he quickly stepped up and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. She threw her arms over his shoulders and pecked his awaiting lips a few times, grinning widely as if she hadn’t just seen him a day ago.

“Hey bae.” She whispered gently, ogling at him as he reached to resituate of few of the curls on her head. I shook my head and smiled at the adoration they showed for one another, suddenly remembering those same feelings that I shared for Chris. “’Sup Sy?” Taylor smiled my way and released Destani from one of his protective arms. I reached out to hug his left side, smirking slyly at Destani as her cheeks flushed. The familiar sight of her openly wearing her esteem for Taylor on her shoulders prompted me to tilt my head past Taylor’s broad shoulder in search for one particular bulldog. “Aw, he ain’t here yet Sy.” He said.

Raising my brows and dropping my gaze, I sighed and mumbled a low “oh” before stepping back from Taylor. From the corner of my eye, I could feel Destani staring at me, clearly catching on to my sudden gloomy demeanor. Ignoring both her and Taylors stares, I smiled at Taylor and blinked back my frustration “So, are you ready to face the crowd tonight?”

Glancing first at Destani, Taylor acknowledged my silent plea to overlook the topic and move on. He smirked and licked his lips, suddenly staring off into space as if he were some high-profile celebrity posing for a magazine “Well, I mean I’m just ready to get out there and… and give the fans what they want.”

Lightly smacking her lips, Destani rolled her eyes and poked her index finger into his side “Boy stop that… the fans don’t want you.” Leaning to accommodate her short stature, he meshed his lips with her forehead and gripped her closer to his side “Actually they do babe. I know you saw the crowd out there. They feigning over us like some fucking crackheads.” With her lovable features quickly contorting into a frown, Destani scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Taylor only chuckled and readjusted his arm over her shoulder. I laughed at the sight of her lips pouting out like an irritated child. It was truly hilarious to me that she was always able to manipulate people with her innocent features and expressions. Taylor opted to keep us there with him and the other players until the very last minute, refusing to believe that there was a problem with us loading onto the shuttle with them to head to the gym. Destani, completely immersed in his presence alone, saw nothing wrong with the idea either and I could only be thankful that I was present to prevent her from getting onto the shuttle with them. She pouted a bit more and put me through nearly five minutes of torment when she engaged in a full-on slobber session with him just feet away from me, but she ultimately gave up the fight and walked with me back out into the dwindling crowd. -- “Okay, so one more mothafucka back the hell up on me like they don’t see me fucking walking through here, & I swear I’m swinging.” Cammie fussed as we struggled through the main doors of the Stegeman Coliseum. The amount of people teeming through the doors would fool anyone into believing that we were ducking into a concert hall full of celebrities and I was completely enthralled with the sight and even more astonished with the size of the inside of the arena. I was quite positive that every seat in the place would be full in less than an hour. Struggling through the high archways of the gymnasium, we were finally within reach of the elevated bleachers. We pushed through a thick line of people searching desperately for seats and the anxiety quickly set in… I was sure someone had already claimed our reserved spots. Fortunately, a few minutes later we found our seats pretty quickly and thankfully, they were vacant.

“These damn security guards better be lucky these seats empty… if one bitch and or nigga woulda been sitting here, oh Lord… blood would be shed.” Destani threatened. Both Cammie and Angel laughed and eased behind me into the empty seats. I could only shake my head at Destani’s fussing and sigh with relief. The game didn’t start for another thirty minutes, and with Destani complaining for food at my side, I decided to head down to the concession stands with her, leaving Cammie and Angel in the stands to monitor our seats. I already knew the line would be ridiculous before we rounded the corner to see the extent of it, and much to my dismay, I was completely correct. The line itself stretched to the furthest end of the concession area, curving a bit to fit everyone into the space. Groups of people waited impatiently for their orders to the left of the line, which gave the illusion that there were more people waiting to order food then there really was. Not wasting a minute, Destani swooped my hand into hers and swiftly guided me to the end of the long line. Finding our place at the end, I took the time to occupy myself by people watching. There were several people, females in particular, dressed in Bulldog apparel. Several wore only the colors, either coordinating shirts and accessories, or going all out with body paint and tattoos. After a while I started to notice that several, if not most, of the student body seemed to advertise their favorite player. With a few glances in just about every direction, it became quite clear to me that just about everyone in my near proximity wore the same familiar double digits… #20. Whether it was the simple fact that they adored him for his skills or for something more, I wasn’t sure. I took one last glance at the identical numbers on the backs of a group of girls who squeezed past us and decided to let the thought go. Cruising through the line much quicker than I’d anticipated, Destani ordered herself a burger and we headed back to the stands just minutes before the countdown until the start of the game. ….. With forty-three seconds still on the clock and each player positioned strategically on the court, I leaned forward with an anxious twitch and chomped down on my bottom lip. I was quite sure my mouth would be completely red and raw by the end of the game, but I didn’t care… the boys were tied with the South Carolina Trojans at ninety-eight points. The clock ticked steadily, showing no remorse for who would lose, as the Bulldogs moved swiftly down the court with the ball in their possession. Thirty-one seconds now… 102-98. The ball was back in the possession of the Trojans and I spotted Chris crossing an oversized, aggressive guy from the opposing team. With no intent of letting Chris find his man, the one guarding the ball, the oversized Trojan pushed against him with most of his body weight, attempting to send him flying to the floor. Chris, however, had already been blazing through the game with every ounce of hostility aimed at the opposing team. There were even a few occasions where he was benched, not by the refs, but rather by his coach because it was obvious that the rage was rearing its hideous head. I watched him closely, zoning out every other aspect of the game. The guy managed to bump him just slightly from his path, which was more than a blunder on his behalf. I rose to my feet before my body could catch up with my mind. He turned in a flash, glowering at his opponent with less than zero interest in the game, or anything going on around him for that matter. Time slowed to a near halt and so did the clock as I imagined, in horror, what Chris was soon to unleash if he couldn’t keep it together. A shade of deep crimson seemed to rise from the depths of his cheeks to his forehead as he stepped closer to the husky, slightly larger guy. His appearance was that of a human lethal weapon. With a heavy layer of perspiration sheathing his arms and face, and fists clinched tightly at his sides, pushing the veins in his arms to the limit… he looked almost like a cold blooded murder before the very eyes of hundreds of fans and onlookers. I could feel my body trembling in utter fear of what was to come… and what was worse was that I didn’t think there was any way I could even get his attention just to give him a moment of serenity to simply calm himself. I’d completely disregarded the four tickets he’d given me though… and the reality that he knew exactly where we sat in the crowded stadium. Closing his eyes for a split second, he abruptly turned his gaze toward the section of seats situated directly in front of section E of the stadium. It didn’t take long for his darkened orbs to connect with my own and I held his gaze for dear life, fearing that if I faltered even a bit, he was sure to have a meltdown in the middle of the court. I pleaded with him through my eyes alone, begging him not to let a simple competitive push from a guy twice his size get to him. A sudden nudge against my right arm broke my stare and a gasp fled my lips as I snapped my head in Destani’s direction.

“Sy, they won!” She shouted, clapping loudly to match the uproar of the crowd around us. I blinked back my confusion and turned to face the court. 104-98. The bright red neon numbers leapt out at me, confirming that they’d actually snagged a win. Turning my attention back to the ecstatic players on the floor, I searched frantically for any signs of Chris. It’d all happened so fast. One second, I was silently pleading with him to keep his temper under control through only a stare, the next… Chris had suddenly disappeared and the Bulldogs had won. Chris The damage had nearly been done. He had nearly been unleashed. In the middle of the court… in the middle of the damn game. And it was shit like that that had me in a therapist on a weekly basis, trying to get a better understanding of what the hell was happening to me. I could feel myself on the verge of blacking out, but I didn’t understand why and that genuinely scared me. It was the power of a simple second of eye contact with that captivating ice blue stare that saved me. It was absolutely amazing to me that all Hope had to do was look at me, hold my gaze, to give me the strength to calm down. This girl, this… heaven sent angel, was perhaps the only person in the world with the incredible ability to calm me down just by looking at me! She was the reason that, on so many occasions, I’d been able to withstand my own anger and not make a complete fool of myself. Yet, I could no longer bring myself to even touch her with the hands of filth that I’d tainted because of my, “problem”. It literally killed me to know that she was so determined to keep me from hurting myself and those around me, yet all I seemed to do on a daily basis was hurt her and she didn’t even realize it. Out of her presence and away from the watchful eyes of many admirers and fans, I stormed through the wide walkway leading to the locker room. I needed to distance myself from her for a while, because for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to look at her any longer after what she’d just managed to do. Barging into the locker room before the rest of my teammates, I sped to my locker area, snatched up all the necessary shit for a shower, and headed back toward the stalls. 

“Man, I can’t believe we just won that shit dawg. That shit was too fucking close man!” The loud and slightly annoying voice of Shawn blasted through the atmosphere, followed by several other teammates. They all cheered and hollered like they’d just won the damn super bowl and I closed my eyes in an effort to drown out their obnoxious voices. Their voices grew to an annoyingly high level and I leaned against the cool tiles lining the wall, heart racing as I waited for them to ‘round the corner and bombard my moment of peace. “Breezy, yo… that was a sick ass game, huh?” Shawn half yelled, directly in my face. I glared at him with a blank face. With him being the damn loud mouth that he was, I wasn’t expecting him to read my obvious irritation and move on, so I simply held my breath and counted to the highest number my patience would allow.

“And dawg, let me tell you… I see exactly why they got your ass straight from Syracuse… nigga, you are a beast!” Slamming his hand down on my shoulder, he grinned wide and nodded his head. The frown on my face could not be measured as I took in the length of his arm and finally the hand that rested on my bare shoulder. Literally a second before I could feel myself about to snap, Taylor rounded the corner behind Shawn, shower gear in tow, and snatched his intruding hand away from my arm “Step up out the man’s space Shawn, damn.”

If there was a way to send my thoughts of appreciation directly to Taylor for his sudden appearance, I would… Shawn was mere seconds from enduring a great rush of pain against the side of his face, compliments of my hand and the cold tile wall beside him.

“Shut the hell up T… I was just congratulating him.” Rolling his eyes and scoffing like an irate female, he turned and ambled back toward his locker space.

“Annoying as fuck sometimes, I swear.” Taylor mumbled. Choosing not to stick around much longer for anymore annoyance from these niggas, I stalked toward the showers and stepped into the furthest from eyesight. I turned the water to a lukewarm, soothing temperature and after stripping to nothing but skin and body ink, I stepped under the spout and shut my eyes, enjoying the feeling of the water as it drained over the top of my freshly faded head. I timed the shower so that when I did finally get out and make my way back to the locker area, it would be completely empty. I was nowhere close to a frame of mind that would allow me to be near anyone else, especially the annoying niggas that I called my teammates. Luckily for me, majority of them had already fled the locker room and the coliseum in its entirety, probably in hot pursuit of after parties and alcohol. With a few stragglers left, I chose to ignore each of them as I marched with the full intent of getting dressed and retrieving my belongings, so I could get the hell away from the building. Not even bothering to check to make sure I’d grabbed all my things, I headed for the door and out into the empty hall. I was glad the stands had finally been cleared… glad that all the screaming fans and students were out of earshot… glad all the thirsty temptation had dispersed without attempting to stick around to make my life even more of a living hell. And I was glad that the only thing I could spot as I headed out into the empty gym was the all too familiar shape of my personal savior. She gazed at Destani and listened intently to whatever she was saying. Though her face was purely relaxed, and beautiful at that, there was an unsettled gleam in her eyes that I couldn’t overlook. She looked like she was listening to everything Destani was saying, but not actually hearing her. Sighing and licking my lips, I tore my gaze away from her. I knew exactly what had her so detached from whatever Destani’s conversation was about and I felt awful for living with the knowledge that it was I who was troubling her.   Following the outline of the spacious court, I walked closer to them and kept my head low. I could tell she’d already spotted me long ago, but I refused to face her because now the guilt was starting to set in.

“Damn nigga, I was starting to think your ass passed out somewhere in there and I was ‘bout to have to come save you.” Taylor chuckled. I completely ignored him and the way he stood there, cuddled up against Destani. It reminded me entirely too much of what I used to have and so desperately wanted to get back with Hope, and I really couldn’t stand to seem them rub it right in my face. Inching closer to them, I finally stopped a few feet away and glanced up only to find Hope staring right at me, brows bent sorrowfully. Taylor was now occupied with his phone and Destani glared at me as if I’d just stepped on her pet mouse.

“You okay?” The soft, melodic tone of her voice caught my attention and I looked down at her as she slowly approached me. She stretched her small soft hands up to cup my face and she gently stroked my cheeks, forcing me to briefly shut my eyes and enjoy her touch. I couldn’t for the life of me understand her ability to soothe whatever this monster was that dwelled in me. Of course I was now more grateful than ever to have her in my life… but now I was starting to obsess over what it meant and how much I knew I really didn’t deserve her. I nodded my response and stared down at her. She looked like a concerned mother and I held back a smirk as her expression lingered. I wanted to assure her that there was no reason for her to be concerned, but I’d be lying to her if I did.

“You played really good tonight.” She mumbled. She suddenly leaned closer to me, balancing herself against my chest, and hesitantly rolled onto the tips of her toes. She paused for only a moment before finally pressing her incredibly soft lips against my own. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d kissed her, let alone been this physically close to her, and I was slightly shocked by the abrupt intimacy. She stayed there for a few seconds, waiting for me to respond to her kiss, but of course all my awkward ass did was stand there, stunned as if this was my very first kiss. Slowly pulling away, she sighed and frowned, staring straight at my chest with frustration all over her face.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, closing my eyes and pressing my lips against the top of her head “Thank you.” “So Sy, we going to this party now or what?” An evidently irritated Destani asked, not even trying to hide her distaste for me. She was still mad at me for what I'd done to Hope weeks ago and it was clear that it would take some time for her to move past the incident and forgive me. I honestly couldn’t even blame her for the way she felt. It was just hard to face her, knowing that she was never gonna let me live down my mistake. “Um, I think we’re gonna pass on this one Dez,” She mumbled, breaking our intense eye contact and turning briefly to face Destani, “You and Taylor can go ahead and I’ll just meet up with you later.”

Destani eyed her carefully, raising a skeptical brow as if allowing Hope to venture off somewhere with me was the absolute worst idea. With a nod of reassurance, Hope turned and focused her gaze on me, grabbing a limp hand from my side. I still wasn’t quite used to the feel of her touch and I flinched, but all she did was smile, already accustomed to my unnecessary edginess.

I had no idea where she planned to go if she wasn’t going to any of the after parties with Destani. I didn’t even know if she had a set destination in mind, but she seemed content enough to go sit on a bench somewhere, instead of wasting her time at an overcrowded, funky party. I couldn’t complain though. I was extremely content being in her presence, even though our time spent with each other now-a-days measured nowhere near what it’d once been. 

TBC...

[cancercornastrology]

The Signs As Logic Lyrics

Aries: “These fuckers facades, they just a mirage, right?, I said these fuckers facades, they just a mirage, right?, Tell me that they love me, know damn well that they don't give a fuck, I be on that finger flipping killing shit up in the cut, That's what's up, All these bitches out here tryna gas it up, This is everything I ever wanted, I can't pass it up, Life changed in a year, couldn't happen fast enough, "Can I do it like you do it?" That's what they be asking us, White Benz, black card, bitch better get your plastic up.” -Under Pressure

Taurus: “Yes, I want it all from the big to the little, things, When you hear my voice it rings, C-notes in my pocket, cause logic does not prefer to sing, All the women know what I'm about, Make music then i dig 'em out, Cause I got it, flow hypnotic, And not a single one of y'all doubt it, And when I think about the life I live and the studio time I give, To the fans in the stands, usually kill it but now you can dance, Cause this is a banger, logic is not a stranger, To makin' that music that make you feel better.” -I Want It All

Gemini: “Reinvention, that's my intention, Want so much more than this third-dimension, That's not to mention my true ascension is a bigger picture, No metaphor, I’m being real with ya, But it will hit ya like, "goddamn!", Going HAM, full of all of them, In a spaceship, I’m in another system, So futuristic, on another mission, But back on Earth everybody bitchin', I been in the kitchen, Livin' my life—no inhibition, life to death with no intermission, Now the good book said we all the same, and we kill each other but it's all in vain, And we all to blame, can't see the picture when it's out the frame.” -Fade Away

Cancer: “Baby do you remember, Warm summers and cold winters, Songs by soul singers the feeling it still lingers, Elevated by my kiss as you melted between my fingers, Babygirl, sometimes I wish, That I could just rewind this shit and take it back, I had visions but they just faded black, My train of thought is on a different track, When you’re in love it’s hard to separate fiction from fact, Your image in my head, and I’m trynna get rid of that, But you’re always on my mind like a fitted hat, Baby girl, I wanna bring it back to puppy love, When you was sent from up above to care for me, Said that you’d always be there for me, And even though you’re gone, it’s like you never left, Cuz you always in my heart and still take away my breath.” -Can I Love

Leo: “Ayo, fuck all that, it's the fat young Jesus; flow prestigious, Stackin' money and playin' the field man like Regis, Better believe us or leave us, Grabbin' your bitch's cleavage like, "woo-hah", I went from surveyin' to Super Saiyan slayin' the man, Bitches want an autograph, I sign them titties in crayon, like goddamn!, It's me and B-I-G L-N-B-O cookin' like chemists, It's me and B-I, B-I, B-I-G L-N-B-O, L-N-B-O, Posted in the club in baggy jeans and a beanie, Sippin' on a martini, takin' my pick at bitches like eenie meenie, I'm unscannable, young cannibal, eat wack MCs like Hannibal, Cause Joe Pesci's my spirit animal.” -Young Jesus

Virgo: “All this other shit I'm talkin' 'bout they think they know it, I've been praying for somebody to save me, no one's heroic, And my life don’t even matter, I know it I know it I know I'm hurting deep down but can’t show it, I never had a place to call my own, I never had a home, Ain't nobody callin' my phone, Where you been? Where you at? What's on your mind?, They say every life precious but nobody care about mine.” - 1-800-273-8255

Libra: “Mighty strokes of war, Have already been dealt against the enemy, What kind of a people do they think we are?, Is it possible that they do not realize, That we shall never cease to persevere against them, Until they have been taught a lesson, Which they and the world will never forget, I said, we're young, broke and infamous, I said, we're young, broke and infamous, I said, we're young, broke and infamous, I said, we're young, broke and infamous.” -Young, Broke, and Infamous

Scorpio: “Going crazy cause I only feel this good with you, Maybe I’m just not as strong as I once was, When we’re together lately I don’t even feel a buzz, I’m addicted to this shit like it was hard drugs, Nikki baby I love you but now I gotta go, Cause in the end what happens you already know.” -Nikki

Sagittarius: “Just ride with a mothafucka, Keep it real, never lie to a mothafucka, hold me down, Chillin' in a-gadda-da-vida, rockin' Adidas, With a señorita and she sippin' liquor by the liter, That's royalty, like the homie Gambino, He know we be in the casino, lightin' Cubans with a C-note, I'ma fuck the game, dare you to test my libido, Comin' up shorter than Danny DeVito, Whenever I step on the beat, ho, Like a killer on the creep slow, Had my share of defeat, but we still gon' eat, ho.” -Alright

Capricorn: “But I cling to the streets even though I wanna run away, I imagine a better life, Where I never had a debt in life, Hit you with the {gunshots} in the dead of night, Sellin' crack to my own pops, Pushin' this weight on my own block, If I sell a brick I can buy a house, If they find the key they might lock me up, But I take the chance, 'Cause I need that shit and don’t give a fuck, Take the chance, 'cause I need that shit and don’t give a fuck.” -Gang Related

Aquarius: “The incredible album, what an incredible outcome, I grip the mic and then talk to the people like I'm Malcolm, I used to think the fame and money was the motivation, Until I toured the world and met the people face to face and, Understood that the power was harnessed in that basement, It ain't about the money and notoriety, It's about the people and making a difference in society.” -44 Bars

Pisces: “Most living the life that I'm living, Is driven by money and women, But you're all I ever need girl that's a given, feel me, Now sick as fuck just heal me, My heart broken can you seal me, Baby I'm knowing that our love is ever-growing, Which direction are we going, I think we should get to slowing it down, The only girl that make me smile when I frown now, Re-interrupt but we can fix it though I wonder how, All I know is I miss the way you smile.” -Love Jones

-Deja

[covid19chronicles]

Day 15: I fuck up toast

MONDAY, 3/30/2020

11:07am

After the weekly team meeting, I make myself avocado toast. Open a new bag of avocados, set the toaster to 4, thinly slice the avocado and mash it on the toast. Lots of black pepper, kosher salt, and red pepper flakes. Slice it in half. Rip up some prosciutto and arrange it for optimum coverage. Serve on a paper plate because I’m tired of doing dishes.  

Avocado toast with prosciutto feels like I’m eating a reminder that I am so privileged during this time. It makes me wonder if weeks from now I’ll look back at this time and be envious of this overt luxury. Man, maybe I’ll think, remember when I could eat avocado toast and prosciutto as if the country wasn’t burning alive? Now all I’ve got are boiled potatoes.  

11:33am

I go pee and realize I’m out of toilet paper. When I check the closet, I notice we’re running low. I have been dreading this moment. We now have to join the Toilet Paper War. I am distressed.  

12:47pm

Ryan’s jumped on the bed and is laying on his stomach, reading a comic book. I’m watching him from my webcam, which means everyone else is too. He’s wiggling his butt around. That means he’s happy. He’s like a dog. A tailless dog. I am happy he is happy.  

1:07pm

Lunch is the remainder of the kimchi soup we made last night and lukewarm rice with furikake. I consider reading the news as I eat but I shut my laptop and read The Starless Sea instead. A crazy amount of potholes but written beautifully and I’m holding out hope it’ll wrap up neatly. I doubt it but I still need to finish.

I eat until there’s nothing left in either bowl. My tummy is full and happy. As I do the dishes, I begin to think about my afternoon snack. A tangerine and slice of banana bread. I can’t wait.  

4:02pm

I decide it is now time for my afternoon “break” to work out. The whole process of getting ready to work out and actually working out takes me about 50 minutes. Halfway through I ask Ryan to be useful and make me a glass of banana milk since he’s just playing video games. 

When I’m done, I drink my cold glass of banana milk and eat half a slice of banana bread. I read a mix of the news and articles about food. This is very relaxing. Maybe it will be a new rule to only read the news when I feel as relaxed as this. I answer a few Slack messages and mentally add to my to do list for the week. Ryan and I debate spaghetti but since we haven’t thawed the beef, we decide not to. I think about maybe roasting sweet potatoes for an arugula salad, plus clam chowder or whatever canned things we have. Easy din din tonight.

I get up to go shower because I have banana bread crumbs in between my titties.  

10:25pm

Dinner was a fucking disaster. When I showered, I watched Brad Leone from the Bon Appetit Test Kitchen make charred tomato toast. I was inspired. I was like, ‘This is easy enough!’ I didn’t have cottage cheese and I didn’t want to have cottage cheese. I pictured a nice piece of toast, with melted mozzarella cheese and saucy tomatoes spooned on top. It seemed like a good thing to have with canned clam chowder. It wouldn’t be Boudin but it would be GOOD.

But the tomatoes were too wet and the pan too hot. The oil was sputtering like a mothafucka. I put a lid on it. Sauce was not happening, just char. I smooshed some tomatoes with my wooden spoon. Juices leaked and immediately sizzled into nothingness. I took the tomatoes off.  

At this point, I wasn’t disappointed. The next part was the easiest. I would just toast my bread in the leftover oil in the pan with some slices of mozzarella on top! But the cheese was not melting fast enough. I put a lid on it. There was a lot of smoke. I turned the fan up to 3. I took the lid off. Cheese was melted! But when I slid a spatula under, that’s when I saw it—the black, crispy underside.  

It only went downhill from there. I made new toast using the toaster. I still wanted melted cheese so Boyfriend R suggested I pop it into the microwave, 10 secs at a time. Cheese melted but the bread got soggy. By the time I sat down to eat, my clam chowder was cold. I did not time cooking it right because I did not anticipate making two toasts.  

Cold clam chowder and soggy toast with microwaved cheese and non-saucy tomatoes.  

Bon appetit, bitches.  

10:59pm

Talking about my sad dinner made me hungry again. I make pizza rolls and I eat them as I solve the NYT Mini Crossword and USA Today Daily Crossword. I finish USA Today’s in 5:54. Roommate J thinks this is a PR and gives me a high five. The night is ending on a good note.

[bobbystompy]

The Slim Shady 20

Eminem’s “The Slim Shady LP” came out, I’m told, 20 years ago. Though the album is, in many ways, dated, homophobic, problematic, sexist, and just as differently offensive now as it equally was originally, it’s still extremely excellent. Instead of going too think piece-y, I wanted to write about my favorite bars.

While Eminem’s career definitely hit higher highs with latter releases, this is my favorite album in his catalogue. He was just as angry, but it was channeled; not distorted by fame or worn down by addiction or jaded by lawsuits or persevering through death of loved ones. This was 26-year-old Marshall, getting his head above water in time to start machine gunning expletives at the world around him.

And please remember, in his words, “If I’m talking too fast, it just means you’re listening too slow.”

20.

I wanted an album so rugged, nobody could touch it Spent a million a track and went over my budget (Oh, shit) Now, how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt? I can't rap anymore, I just murdered the alphabet

Immediate thesis statement.

19.

If I had a magic wand I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john

Really dislike this lyric, but it’s unflinching grossness hits every time.

18. 

I met a s*** and said, "What up? It's nice to meet ya I'd like to treat you to a Faygo and a slice of pizza”

This lyric does not exist going forward because any success carries you beyond it. Shades of “Exhibit C’s” masterful “When I was sleepin' on the train / Sleepin' on Meserole Ave out in the rain / Without even a single slice of pizza to my name” exactly 10 years later.

17.

This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph So I signed it, "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, asshole"

Doesn’t even rhyme; he hated his fans from the very beginning.

16. 

‘Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to better Tonight, I think I'll write my biggest fan a "fuck you" letter

Gave you every, immediate chance to get away.

15.

I'm freestylin' every verse that I spit 'Cause I don't even remember the words to my shit

Nah --  you’re way too meticulous, Shady.

14.

I'm not a player, just a ill rhyme sayer That'll spray a aerosol can up at the ozone layer

I like when his evil imagery turns half-baked adolescent; might as well brag about melting ants with your magnifying glass.

13.

Tell her you need a place to stay You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blades

Some fun internals; plus the part right before taught me what “gaffle” meant.

12.

I just remembered that I'm absent-minded Wait, I mean I've lost my mind, I can't find it

+

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (“Uh-uh”) I'm the one who burned your house down (“Oh”) Well, I'm out now (“Shit”)

Two of my favorite circular lines.

11.

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin' skill 'Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist How the fuck can I be white? I don't even exist

Had to address the elephant in the room.

10.

You beef with me, I'ma even the score equally Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally

Man with a plan.

9.

These are the results of a thousand electric volts, a neck with bolts Nurse, we're losin' him, check the pulse

Always a lab-created monster.

8.

I want to make songs all the fellas dub And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of So just remember, when I bomb your set Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

Cracked the code for us.

7.

Got b****** on my jock out in East Detroit 'Cause they think that I'm a motherfuckin' Beastie Boy So I told 'em I was Mike D They was like, "Gee, I don't know, he might be" I told 'em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert I'll be standin' by the Loch Ness Monster"

This one checks many boxes: The D, local-yet-hilariously-dated celeb name check, misogyny, mythical creatures.

6.

But they love it when you make your business public So fuck it, I've got herpes while we on the subject And if I told you I had AIDS, y'all would play it 'Cause you stupid mothafuckas think I'm playin' when I say it Well, I do take pills, don't do speed Don't do crack, don't do coke, I do smoke weed Don't do smack, I do do shrooms, do drink beer I just wanna make a few things clear My baby mama's not dead, she's still alive and bitching And I don't have herpes, my dick's just itchin' It's not syphilis, and as for being AIDS-infested I don't know yet, I'm too scared to get tested

One of the only times he breaks the fourth wall.

5.

I hang with a bunch of hippies and wacky tobacco planters Who swallow lit roaches and light up like jack-o-lanterns Outsidaz, baby, and we suin' the courts 'Cause we dope as fuck and only get a ‘2′ in The Source

This was soon corrected.

4.

That's what I did, be smart, don't be a r***** You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped Dee Barnes? “What you say?” What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember? “I'ma kill you, motherfucker” Uh-uh, temper, temper Mr. Dre, Mr. N.W.A, Mr. AK Comin' straight outta Compton, y'all better make way

Distilling Dre’s career -- warts and all -- into a flurry of knockout punches.

3.

I'll listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it Six months later, you'll hear your lyrics on my shit ("That's my shit"!) People don't buy shit no more, they just dub it That's why I'm still broke and had the number-one club hit

Everything we’ve ever learned about Eminem has taught us he’s a tortured obsessive... yet this stretch feels effortlessly perfect. Plus, it gives us a clairvoyant outlook on the perils of massive-success-without-actually-making-money in the YouTube/streaming era.

2.

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole When we heard a knock at the door, must've been Ron Gold Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold Killed them both, then smeared blood on the white Bronco (We did it)

So offensive it almost laps itself back into normalcy. The unflinching “We did it” at the end is psychotic, horrible, and confident.

1.

 Fuck rap, I'm givin' it up, y'all, I'm sorry (”But Eminem, this is your record release party!”)

Tried to get out the game on his debut; Jay Electronica would be proud.

Honorable mentions...

I lay awake and strap myself in the bed With a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (Bang) I'm steamin' mad (Grr) And by the way, when you see my dad (Yeah?) Tell him that I slit his throat in this dream I had

There’s something casual about his fantasy murder of his father that really made the end stretch of this hit home. This is the closing of his final verse in “My Name Is”; he was never playing.

Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie “Kids”? No, but I seen the porno with Sun Doobiest

Em’s devil to Dre’s angel.

My palms were sweaty, and I started to shake at first Somethin' told me, "Try to fake a stomach ache, it works" I screamed, "Ow, my appendix feel like they could burst Teacher, teacher, quick, I need a naked nurse" "What's the matter?" "I don't know, my leg, it hurts" "Leg? I thought you said it was your tummy" "Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee" "Mr. Mathers, the fun and games are over And just for that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework" "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?" "Nah, that bully wants to beat your ass and I'ma let him"

Even the teacher wanted him to get his.

Tired of bein' stared at Tired of wearin' the same damn Nike Air hat

Never had to worry about that after this.

* * *

Death section:

- I tried suicide once and I'll try it again That's why I write songs where I die at the end 

- The disaster with dreads, I'm bad enough to commit suicide And survive long enough to kill my soul after I'm dead

- The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike While I blow my brain out just to see what it feels like 'Cause this is how I am in real life I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice

- And if you ever see a video for this shit I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

- (I'm Slim Shady) So come and kill me while my name's hot And shoot me 25 times in the same spot

* * *

I got a wardrobe with an orange robe I'm in the fourth row, signin' autographs at your show

Tries to be unique and boastful... falls apart and gets self-deprecating.

I take a breather and sigh, either I'm high or I'm nuts 'Cause if you ain't tiltin' this room, neither am I

I mean, someone was... right?

We drive around in million-dollar sports cars While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards

Eh.

If I had a million bucks, it wouldn't be enough Because I'd still be out robbin' armored trucks

Unquenched desire for chaos.

A lyricist without a clue, what year is this? Fuck a needle, here's a sword, body pierce with this

Always able to make a risky situation dicier.

Wait, what if there's an explanation for this shit? What, she tripped, fell, landed on his dick?

Solid one liner.

Drug sickness got me doin' some bugged twitches I'm withdrawin' from crack so bad, my blood itches

/eyes pop out

I don't speak, I float in the air, wrapped in a sheet I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat

Super fun hip-hop imagery.

[garinna]

1. Pick one of your muses: Ylva/Garinna the muse I use on this blog.

2. Fill in the questions/statement as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse

3. Tag 10 people to do this meme, (repost, don’t reblog) Ah, no, can’t think of that many.

TAGGED BY: @dangerous-smoll

TAGGING: @the-self-exiled @hadesrebelofadaughter @mischiefandnightmares @inspect0rzenigata @primedspecimen @anyone what bloody wants to!

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

“Ylva Larsson.”

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

“That, is my real name? What kinda shady stuff do you think I’m involved with that I would need a false one?”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT?

“Because my mum wanted to name me after a fairytale character, and dad refused, so she only gave me half of the name she wanted to. Sappy af really, but I like it.”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?

“Single, but, I mean... I have hopes, if I can get my sorry ass to actually talk to the damn... Nevermind.”

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS?

“Does telling nearly lethally bad jokes count? Or the inexplicable ability to always pick out the most dangerous person in a room to try and be friends with? If not, then no. Terribly dull li’l human here.”

6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU.

“How the fuck am I a Mary Sue? They’re supposed to be flawless marvels that everyone loves yeah? I am not.”

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR?

“Light green, kinda looks yellow in certain lights.”

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR?

“Redhead. I was originally brunette but there are a lot of ways to change that shit, aside from pouring chemicals in your hair, if you know who to talk to.”

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?

“Yeah, mum, dad, two siblings and a combined three kids between them. Not to mention a fuckton others if you count aunt’s uncle’s and cousins. But you ain’t getting any details about them, or we’d be stuck here all night.”

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS?

"Several, kinda, got them tucked away at a friends place because it’s better that way. I travel so much I’d only make them go crazy if I pulled them back and forth every time I left for some new weird place. Got a dog, a cat, a few... hard to describe ones...”

11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.

“Uhh, math? Being nearly killed, happens a bit too often. Bad food, horrible people... I’d guess a lot of the normal things?”

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING?

“Traveling, drawing, photography, gaming... Videogames and roleplaying, not that huge a fan of like, roulette or stuff. Though poker is kinda fun.”

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?

“Yes.”

14. EVER… KILLED ANYONE BEFORE?

“Thankfully, not yet. I hope I never will.”

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?

“A very nosy cat. Will probably end up as the proverbial curious cat one day too.”

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.

“Being nosy, butting into people business when not needed, being a rude li’l shit when in a bad mood... Uh... Laziness? I’m sure there’s a fuckton more, but I can’t think of them.”

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL?

“Most tall people, quite literally so.”

18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

“What’s the one that means you’ll do any gender or gender-variation, as well as anyone from a sentient species? I mean, I’d do an octopus person if they were nice and we hit it off. Is that a thing that should be covered in there too?”

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

“Eh, no.”

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY?

“Possibly marry, with the right person, or people, but no thanks on giving birth. Do not want.”

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS?

“AHAHAHAHAHHAHhaaa... I REALLY doubt it.”

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

“Not telling you that, fuck you.”

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?

“Whatever is reasonably clean and covers my junk. I have very few shits to give about clothes.”

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?

“Yes.”

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF?

“I don’t fucking know? What kinda weird question is that? You got a kink for it or something? Not gonna judge, but also not answer.”

26. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS)

“Like, sort of a step above hobo I guess? I got a house a few months ago, first time I’ve had a lasting home for a few years now.”

27. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?

“That would depend on what level of friendship you count as friends.”

28. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?

“I want some.”

29. FAVORITE DRINK?

“Either this blueberry/peach juice thing I tend to get if we’re counting non alcoholic things in here, or blueberry vodka if we’re just going for alcoholic drinks.”

30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?

“Don’t have one, next question.”

31. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?

“Yes, the cutest... Nevermind. Yes, the answer is yes.”

32. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR COCK?

“I do not have a dick, and my cup size varies apparently. Mostly it’s a d, a few bra’s are c, and one weirdo mothafucka of a bra claims that my ladies are friggin f cups. What kinda weird ass measurement they used for that one I have no idea.”

33. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?

“Depends? If I’m swimming for the sake of exorcise then a lake, if I’m doing it to look at pretty underwater stuff, then the ocean.”

34. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?

“Hard to define? It varies. But often big, and growly, with fangs, and claws, maybe horns... Hmm. Yeh. Monstery. Or they can be small and cute, or, well you get the point. It varies.”

35. ANY FETISHES?

“Yes, and no. I won’t share.”

36. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

“I’d say mostly submissive for sure, but it depends on the other.”

37. CAMPING OR INDOORS?

“Both, I spend a lot of time traveling so I also spend a lot of time outside, and I’m happy about that. But I do like comfort now and then too.

38. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?

“Yes, thank the gods for the end. I hate talking about myself and shit with strangers.“

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #7: "I want to spread my wings, fly solo, and cut some throats.” -Sharky

Okay. Tribal went how I expected with Marie leaving. But the after math was very surprising. I was shook-eth with Marie.

Can we merge already! Im tired of playing on a team. I want to spread my wings, fly solo, and cut some throats.

Is it weird if I kind of want to lose this challenge so that I can vote Nick out before we get to the merge?

Welp. We have another challenge. Its 2 puzzles and 1 sliding puzzle. Not that good with puzzles. Here is hoping that we are better than the other tribe. I dont want to go to tribal again. First try and i got 11ish minutes for easy puzzle. 😧 need to try harder to be faster.

Okay so Dennis got a CRAZY score. I got a good score on the hard puzzle. I could do better but why waste my time looking like a big threat when I'm not super worried if we go to tribal. No matter how this challenge works out I'll be in an okay spot.

So we lost immunity. And I know exactly who should go! Nick has literally dragged us to tribal with his slow ass time and plus he doesn't even talk to me! So like bye boo you gots to go. It's your issue not mine LOL

Sooo...I know I said id be okay losing because then I could get rid of Nick. But I had no idea he would set me up this well... He literally did so badly. Like I/Dennis/Brian/Matt got the highest score...and Nick blew our entire lead. It's gonna be a done deal.

omg so we won immunity and im so happy i did NOT want to go to tribal again. i accidentally got obsessed with binging YOU on netflix and forgot to msg ppl so that was scary SAKJFHASJ. but i feel like keaton is next to go maybe... like me nathan and annabelle could work together i hope and me and maynor are still close idk. or maybe they want me out... downside of being so threateningly iconic i guess... but ya dont have to worry about that i hope we merge after this but maybe we'll have to wait until f9 and thatll be real sad tbh! the other tribe is like hm dennis, nick, brian, nicole, sharky, matt. so its like 3-3 from swapped tribes :O i hope that either nick/sharky/nicole go home wooh! no offence to sharky just has a scary name

I am so happy that we won immunity. Especially winning by a minute and something seconds. Right now I have an alliance with Keaton which is my ride or die. Bryce is also an ally. Nate is an ally for now.  Hopefully Sharky still wants to work with me because I still want to. Im glad my first tribal went smoothly.

After this vote better be merge I’m so antsy, I can’t believe the one time I sat out we lost. I really had a good story going down with not going to tribal until merge then they RUINED it. Men ruin everything I told you so. Anyway, the vote is most likely gonna be Nick. Dennis and I are a duo at this point bc he tells me everything going on in the game. Brian and I talk, Sharky and I talk, Matt and I talk. There’s only so many options on a tribe, ya feel? So that just leaves poor Nick who f’ed up the puzzles for everyone.

I don’t have much to say I’m glad we won because I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of what Marie said how they threw me under the bus so I’m glad we aren’t going to tribal also Keaton annoyed me highkey with how rude he was to Marie

OK, so we lost the challenge... and we're back to scrambling around to try and find anyone to blame and vote out.  I think most of the tribe is set on voting for Nick tonight, whereas I think Nick has thrown Nicole's name out there (or at least told Dennis he heard it).

I think Nick going is ideal but I do recognize the threat of people like Dennis and Sharky in this game... and it does concern me... but I would love to go into the merge with meat shields galore!  So I'm hoping that taking Nick out will allow me a better blend-in point in this game so that all the shields can take each other out and I can thrive in the chaos.  I do hope we merge shortly, but I'm ready to continue fighting it out either way.

God this tribal is quiet. Like my oh my is it quiet. I am definitely tempted to use my idol tonight if Nick pulls any shenanigans with advantages, but I hope that I can avoid using it to be quite honest. I feel like I have a good rapport with everyone, Brian and Sharky i worked very hard on to ensure that they trusted me (which apparently they did cause they knew i was from FB LOL). SO ya i am nervous but I pulled my weight thus far in the game and make connections. Im just really paranoid as making jury would be fucking lovely and I don't want another premerge placement to my name tyvm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc3_ZaTluzk&feature=youtu.be

Okay I'm trying to play it cool and laid back and not do too much talking. But in case jury starts this round I want to save face with Nick. So I told him I would talk to people about getting Nicole voted out. I'm not going to. As much as I may have been frustrated with Nicole at first I'd like to be OG Dinah strong going in to the merge and she's more active now so we get along. So i'll wait like 20/30 minutes and then be like "idk if it's going to work. Nobody wants to vote Nicole idk?" and take it from there.

FINAL 10!!!! GO TO TRIBAL DENNIS! YA MOTHAFUCKA. But for real Nick saved us and I'm grateful he's bad. And I'm glad I took that slide puzzle cuz it mattered nothing to time and I look like I did AMAZIN. When I was ass.

And I'm keeping my allies in check and making my game decent. I'm not worried in the slightest about merge and know I can survive a vote or two. Let's do this shit

WOW WOW WOW. This playing both sides thing has really paid off. NICK HAS AN IDOL. I wanted to stay close to him for a possible jury vote but this is so much better. Brian and I had talked about how Dennis is a huge threat and possibly getting rid of him could be a great move. Nick is definitely using his idol. And he locked his vote on Nicole. No one else knows about the idol. So I can either let Nicole go. Or I can make a power move and vote Dennis and then we get him on the revote. Sorting it out with Matt now. This is going to be a shocker.

So I’m getting votes but it’s ok because I’m gonna play my idol! Dennis and Nicole have another thing coming if they think they can take me out this easily. What a premerge it has been!

Shit just hit the fan and now im voting out dennis. I :) Love :) My :) Life :)

MESS. So Nick locked on Nicole. Brian and Dennis locked on Nick. Nicole doens't know about the idol. i told Matt now we're making a big move and going to flip on Dennis. I can't believe Nick has another idol. But wow he really trust me A LOT and he shouldn't...but wowowow this is a SCRAMBLE.

What if this all backfires and Matt is telling Nicole what I said and they both vote me and then the vote is 2 - 1 - 1 - 0 and I go home...

Dennis is voted out in the first successful idol play in Celestial History in a 3-2-1 vote.

[rapispoetry]

There He Go, a poem by Quincy Hanley

There He Go A poem* by Quincy Hanley (b. 1986; Los Angeles, CA)

Ain't got no jewelry on, still I'm shining hard, Ain't got no bodyguard, walking solo through the mall, Bitches and the hoes know they see me they like, "There he go!" They be like, "There he go! Schoolboy, there he go!"

Chiefin’ like a mothafuckin' Seminole, Here we go, off probation probably go to Mexico, Furthermore, can't find this in the store this shit ain't for the low, Got my daughter swagging like her mothafuckin' daddy though!

The patio: what a mothafuckin' view! Nappy chin hairs, bitch, I'm mothafuckin' Q. Uhh, mothafucka, mothafucka, yeah, Fucking is my favorite word, reason why I'm fucking her,

She swallow my dick and balls, whatever occur . . . Purr, I love that kitty cat, Ass fat, throw it back, I can't believe you wifing that! Deep throat, seven or eleven, she's a double gulp.

My pistol drawn, her boyfriend got me paranoid, Nigga try sneaking up on me and I'm making noise. But what I failed to understand, I'm the mothafuckin' man, Ran into him, he's a fan, goddamn!

I'm shining hard they be like, "There he go!" No bodyguard they be like, "There he go!" Up in your bra they be like, "There he go!" They be like, "There he go! Schoolboy, there he go!"

HiiiPower bitch, they be like, "There he go!" Black Hippy shit they be like, "There he go!" Magnificent they be like, "There he go!" They be like, "There he go! Schoolboy, there he go!"

Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it be this nigga here just looking at you lames, With my niggas yo we betting on the Laker game, Even though my niggas lost, another iTunes check done came.

Garcia Vegas, yeah, that bitch be burning slow, Quip a four, now the blunts go back around like merry-go, Uh, for sure, ain't no need for niggas out here fronting doe, Metaphor, how I come up with it? I don't fucking know!

Y'all acting like that TDE don't run LA, Coast ain't been this hard since Pac Death Row and Dr. Dre. Word to Dr. Dre: Detox is like a mix away So go ahead and let the grown-ups work and go somewhere and play.

Worldwide Holocaust ‘cuz we murder shit Without a gun or knife, it's just a fucking hit Pussy drips, raining in her cervix I'm a fucking pimp, Sagging low, crack a nigga bitch just like pistachio.

*This was not published as a written poem but rather as a rap song under Hanley’s professional name, ScHoolboy Q. The poetic sensibilities of rappers are almost always overlooked in discourse about rap and hip-hop. When I saw so much public outrage over Bob Dylan receiving the Nobel Prize in Literature I realized the public’s acceptance of rap as art and rappers as the new generation of American poets was much further away than I had hoped. Perhaps young Bob Dylan fans in the ’60’s and beyond were sick of hearing Dylan’s art referred to as merely the rantings of an angry young Jew. I am sick of hearing various rappers’ art referred to the rantings of angry young black men. Rap can be poetry. Poetry can be art. Let’s start actually listening instead of hearing only what we think we should hear.