#we love ezra in this house

[dindjarindiaries]

Since Ahsoka is influencing the writing for season 4, I’m betting Ezra will be back and the one to continue Grogus training. He’s kinda the perfect guy for the job. He’s a very non traditional Jedi and has strong connections to Mandalorian culture.

I would be down for this! If Ezra had an appearance like Ahsoka's in season 2, I wouldn't be opposed at all.

[whoreforthemandalor]

the waves clasp one another (chapter one)

Pairing: Ezra x afab!reader (no physical descriptions, no y/n)

Series Rating: M for now, will be updated to E in later chapters and will be tagged as such

Chapter Rating: T, but this blog is 18+ so MINORS SCRAM

Tags/Content Warnings for Series: SLOW BURN!!; adventure; peril; discussions of disease; canon typical violence; thalassophobia tw; Ezra is his own warning. EVENTUAL SMUT.

Tags/Content Warnings for Chapter: mentions of PTSD symptoms; guilt.

Series Summary: When Cee is required to complete an internship to graduate from The Euphrate, Ezra insists on accompanying her off-world. You are a conservationist with a vested interest in preventing a mass outbreak of a transmissible brain disease, and your new intern has brought along a companion. When things suddenly go sideways, will all three of you make it out alive?

Chapter Summary: Cee has a decision to make.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: OKAY SO I have been working on this fic since the beginning of April 2022 and I have four chapters (mostly) written so far, with at least a rough outline for the entire story. I’m thinking this will end up being about 20-25k words when it’s done but who knows where the tides will take us! HUGE THANKS to @imtryingmybeskar​ @pentechnics​ and @ejacutastic for allowing me to scream in your inboxes like a cornered raccoon for the past several months <3 This is my love letter to one (1) trash goblin, Mister Ezra Prospect himself <333 also, while I have done quite a lot of Research on the themes in this story, I am by no means an expert so let’s just roll with it, shall we?

A/N #2: My main blog is @tentacruels so I will interact from there!

*******

Chapter One:

The annoyance in Ezra’s apartment was palpable any time the subject of Cee’s imminent departure came up.

“Ez, I really don’t think you need to come with me. It’s just six weeks, I’ll be back before you even have time to notice I'm gone. You’d be bored to death waiting around for me to have down time, this planet doesn't really have anything else to do, other than whale watching,” Cee said with mild irritation, not looking up from her notebook where she was scribbling reminders for the upcoming trip. It was the fifth time in two days that she and Ezra had rehashed this particular portion of their argument, or non-contestable disagreement, as Ezra had taken to calling it.

“Now, little bird, you and I are both acutely aware that I would be more restless than a sea of ferns in a dust storm if I sent you off into that wild yonder with nary a way to communicate with me for the entirety of your trip,” Ezra drawled with a simmering frustration, hip popped out and hand akimbo. He shifted on his feet, hovering near where Cee’s legs were propped up on the arm of the sofa. She glanced up at him for a moment, the stern look on his face causing Cee to roll her eyes and heave a long-suffering sigh.

This circular discussion had been going on for nearly a month at this point, ever since Cee told Ezra that she was required to participate in a work-study program during her last year at the Bowsum Conservatory. “Intergalactic Relations Concerning Native Species Conservation'' was a previously unknown passion for Cee and also necessary accreditation in order to pursue a career in eco-journalism after her graduation the following year. The unconventional timing of Cee joining the Conservatory upon her return from the Green Moon with Ezra a year and a half prior meant that she had quite a lot of catching up to do in order to graduate on time with her peers. This work-study was something that her fellow classmates had finished during the previous year, and although the aurelac that they had managed to bring back from that ill-fated trip had been enough to secure a place for Cee’s education and an apartment for Ezra in The Ephrate near enough to Cee’s housing, the haul hadn’t been hefty enough to account for her entire education and she was loathe to drag out her graduation and drive up the cost.

Cee rationalized going on this trip alone as an opportunity to do something for herself, something to be proud of and look back on as a time in her life where she would be free to make her own decisions. She could admit to herself that, selfishly, she wanted to temporarily forget about the specter of guilt hanging over her head that permanently disabling Ezra had draped over her. 

Yes, she had saved his life in the long run, and for that Ezra had thanked her many times and many ways over in the intervening time spent in safety, but there were occasions when she could hardly bear to live with herself. When she stayed with Ezra on weekends or on a longer break from school, she had noticed him struggling to cope with the loss of his dominant arm while trying to hide how much he was affected by it, and the self-loathing would rise in her throat like bile and make her legs itch to run away.

To that end (and not that Cee would ever admit to him), the short list of planets that she’d been interested in were all within the classification that Ezra had described with loving, if verbose, detail as being similar enough to his home planet of Terra. He had gone through the listings with her at the start, either scoffing at the pathetic photos listed by the ambassadors or thoughtfully considering what was on offer for each planet’s program. The majority were too superficial for Cee, mostly consisting of recording aggregations of native plants that were at no risk of being in danger from anything other than a hard frost at the designated season change. But one had finally caught both their eyes about a week prior. 

Chelroth.

There were more than enough things right with this planet to capture Ezra’s attention. It wasn’t exactly like Terra, but it was a planet that could sustain a human populace without killing it, covered in water and teeming with life. Cee had immediately decided on submitting her application for this program, knowing at the very least that the prospect of being a member of an endangered creature’s species rehabilitation program would fulfill the requirements and bolster her credentials. The fact that the creatures she would be working with were small, soft and cuddly-looking cemented her desire to be accepted into the program. When her application had been approved two weeks before her scheduled departure, her excitement had risen to a feverish pitch while Ezra seemed to sink down into unfathomable doldrums.

“You know exactly where I’ll be the entire time I’m gone,” Cee murmured in a soothing tone, giving Ezra a wry smile that he didn’t return. “It’s only a day’s shuttle ride from here, it’s got breathable air, and I’ll be with someone experienced. You really don’t have anything to worry about, other than missing me.”

“Cee.”

“What, Ezra.” 

He hesitated for just a moment. His dark eyes skittered away from her to look past the hanging plants in the living room window, eyes focused on the dark sky outside the tiny apartment. 

That caught her attention. Normally, when Ezra had something to say, words flowed out of him like a broken faucet. But now? The fact that he seemed to pause to choose his words carefully made Cee’s ears prick up, and she closed her notebook to give him her full attention.

“You know how apprehensive I am about you flying solo on this trip. I understand your reasons, but this old man will truly only feel useful if he’s put to the test once more before you leave this little nest entirely.” Ezra ruffled his hand through his hair, making his bright blond birthmark stick up wildly. “Little bird, I wouldn’t be able to carry on in this mortal coil if something happened to you and I knew that I could have been there to prevent it.”

Cee’s heart clenched, thinking of leaving Ezra to his own devices and anxieties while she was off having an adventure. His desire for companionship and conversation didn’t often shred up on the ragged edges of her heart like this, but knowing how terribly lonely he had been on the Green before they had stumbled across one another, how starved he had been for any kind of connection beyond the proximate closeness of another person, tugged on those frayed strings. She physically felt her heart soften and was quiet for a long moment, contemplating the options laid before her. 

On the one hand, she truly did want the opportunity to spread her metaphorical wings and experience life out in the vast galaxy without the crutch of anyone to help, anyone to make the smartest choices, anyone to be looking out for her. Cee knew better than anyone how hard Ezra tried to look out for his own.

And yet, Cee remembered the way Damon, her father, had crashed through time and space with little regard to the way it completely devastated her. Damon had been primarily driven by grief, then by ego, and finally by greed. Cee’s mother’s death had caused an irreparable rift in the relationship between the grown man and the precocious child, one that Cee had never truly forgiven him for. With Ezra though, it felt like the empty space in her soul, that a parent was meant to fill, was healing. She didn’t want to jeopardize that relationship by being callous to him now.

Cee hemmed and hawed, tapping the pointer finger of one hand on her chin as she pretended to consider for a moment longer. It was almost amusing to watch Ezra twist himself into knots, knowing he had a point but not truly being able to force her into seeing things his way. Cee knew that Ezra fully respected her and her ability to make decisions, which is why she figured he would be alright with a few…caveats.

“Alright Ez, you can come with me. There’s kind of a lot of paperwork to fill out so-”

“Birdie, whatever I must do to keep you safe is no burden to me,” Ezra interrupted. His grin was infectious in his triumph, making Cee shake her head and belly laugh at how quickly his mood shifted from concern to elation.

“I appreciate your enthusiasm! Can you keep that same energy when I give you the rules for how this trip’s gonna go?” Cee watched as Ezra’s face fell from unrestrained joy to cautious suspicion, and her own smile only grew. Cee pulled her legs off the arm of the sofa and spun around slightly to make room for Ezra to sit down, pulling herself up fully and patting the seat beside her. She waited for him to sit before picking up the tablet on the low table in front of the couch that she had been using to scroll through the packing lists for her program and opening up a blank document.

“I know you’re the one with experience in this kind of situation, but this whole trip is meant to get me ready for what I’ll be up against once I’m done with school and actually out in the field. So!” Cee clapped her hands together, making Ezra jump slightly at the sudden noise. The twinge of immediate guilt for accidentally triggering his adrenaline had her placing a gentle hand on his left bicep. “Sorry, Ez, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Don’t fret birdie, I presume that I’ll need to get reacquainted with the unexpected if I’m to join you on your adventure. You don’t need to concern yourself with this jumpy old fellow,” Ezra said gently, awkwardly angling his arm to cover Cee’s hand with his own, and giving a reassuring squeeze. Cee smiled thinly, wondering if she would regret this down the line.

“Have you tried swimming with just one arm yet?”

*******

Thanks for reading!! Please let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged, or if there are warnings for this chapter that I missed and I will update accordingly!

[kestrels-nook]

I love when musicians just say things!!! “The pictures of your saints hanging crooked from the drywall” “maybe my god had thick hips and big lips” “and now your love is writing words on the wall with meat of a nectarine” it’s so raw it’s real!!! This is what it’s about babey!!

[morallyinept]

Here, you'll find extensive lists of all my favourite Pedro Pascal Character Fics, written by all the amazingly talented writers out there. Includes fics that I am currently reading/want to read in the future.

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EZRA (PROSPECT)

JOEL MILLER (THE LAST OF US)

FRANCISCO 'CATFISH' MORALES (TRIPLE FRONTIER)

JAVIER PEÑA (NARCOS)

DAVE YORK (THE EQUALIZER 2)

AGENT WHISKEY (KINGSMEN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE)

OBERYN MARTELL (GAME OF THRONES)

DIETER BRAVO (THE BUBBLE)

MARCUS PIKE (THE MENTALIST)

MAX PHILLIPS (BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS)

MAXWELL LORD (WONDER WOMAN 1984)

DIN DJARIN (THE MANDALORIAN)

JAVI GUTIERREZ (THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT)

PERO TOVAR (THE GREAT WALL)

COMANDANTE VERACRUZ (BURN NOTICE: THE FALL OF SAM AXE)

MARCUS MORENO (WE CAN BE HEROES)

SILVA (STRANGE WAY OF LIFE)

DETECTIVE TIM ROCKFORD (MERGE MANSION)

LUCIEN FLORES (THE UNINVITED)

CLINT (FREAKY TALES)

TED GARCIA (EDDINGTON)

MISC. PEDRO CHARACTERS - MR BEN (SNL), WING PIT (SNL), JAY CASTILLO (RED WIDOW), NICO (HOUSE COMES WITH A BIRD), ZACH WELLISON (BROTHERS & SISTERS), DIO MORRISSEY (NYPD BLUE), SANTOS (DRIVE AWAY DOLLS), OMAR ASSARIAN (LIGHTS OUT) & THE THIEF (CASILLERO DEL DIABLO WINES).

PART 2 - SPECIAL AGENT ORTEGA (THE SIXTH GUN), PEDRO ACROSS THE STREET (CALLS), EDDIE THE FRESHMAN (BUFFY), MISS FLORES (SNL), FIRE MEET GASOLINE VIDEO CHARACTER, NATHAN LANDRY (THE GOOD WIFE), RICKY HAUK (TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL) & LIAM (NIKITA).

KINKTOBER FIC RECS - PEDRO CHARACTER KINKTOBERS, FLUFFTOBERS, WINKTOBERS, WHUMPTOBERS, HAUNTED HOEDOWNS, COWBOYTOBERS, BANGATHONS, SEASONAL & SMUTSGIVING MASTERLISTS.

FESTIVE FIC RECS PART 1, PART 2 & PART 3 - CHRISTMAS THEMED PEDRO BOY STORIES AND MASTERLISTS.

TOP 25 FAVOURITE FICS OF 2023 - 25 FICS THAT I READ THIS YEAR THAT ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE.

VALENTINE'S FIC RECS - PART 1 & PART 2 - VALENTINE'S DAY THEMED STORIES.

[thesewordsareallihavetogive]

Cold Nights to Sunday Mornings - bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader

Summary: 2.1k words. loosely inspired by "Hold My Girl" by George Ezra. (idk what to put for the summary but! pls trust that it's worth your time bc i'm proud of this :) )

Warnings: lots of angst & fluff to redeem the angst

a/n: the fall semester just started & i've been really busy so i'm just as shocked as you are that i'm actually posting a fic. enjoy & please let me know what you think <3

master list | join my tag list

“Baby, we have to get up,” she pleaded. Bradley ignored her request and wrapped his arms around her midsection tighter.

A soft displeased hum left her lips—though it was mostly in jest. She could never be anything but content in Bradley’s arms. The sound only had the aviator nuzzling his head further against her neck, peppering light kisses across the exposed skin.

---

Before y/n, Bradley never slept in. Rooster was his call sign for a reason. For better or for worse, he had a habit of being up before the sun and the rest of the sane world. 

Sleeping in meant that he was only prolonging the amount of time he spent in bed alone. The barrack beds were uncomfortable and cold. When he’d been promoted and was able to arrange for housing off-base he ran into the same issue. A thousand dollars and a new mattress later, the comfort issue was fixed. He might as well have been sleeping on a damn cloud. But his bed was still cold. And lonely.

Without an alarm clock he rose every morning no later than 5:30 a.m.. Maybe it was because of all his years in the military. Maybe it was the broken teenager inside of him that was always running—from his past, to his future, to find someplace somewhere that he could rest easy—and damn, was that exhausting. Everyone he loved and counted on died suddenly, or abandoned him, or died slowly.

As he got older, he found a little bit of peace. Bradley worked his ass off and earned his successful career. He reconnected with his estranged Godfather. He was reassigned to the same base he spent most of his early childhood at.

He slept better after that. In his mid-thirties, it was about damn time that he was able to relax a bit. Yet still, no amount of blankets warmed up the everpresent unwelcome chill.

---

One morning he had a particularly unpleasant wake-up. At just after 4 in the morning, Bradley woke up drenched in sweat. The nightmares weren’t frequent, but they weren’t uncommon. It came with the territory of being directly involved in combat. He couldn��t go back to sleep–he never could–so he got up. He cleaned his entire house. He watched a movie that he wasn’t paying attention to. He went for a run. He didn’t bother counting the miles, he just ran until he felt better; even though he never really did. When he was done showering, it was finally a socially acceptable hour to call someone.

Bradley’s thumb hovered over Pete’s phone number. Before he could talk himself out of it, he pressed harder than necessary on the screen and winced as the phone rang. After 3 rings Bradley’s tense shoulders deflated. Just before the call went to voicemail, it was picked up with haste. Shuffling could be heard on the other end of the line.

“Hi sweetie!” That’s not Maverick.

“Hey Penny…” he trailed off awkwardly. He was hardly prepared to have a conversation with his godfather, much less his godfather’s girlfriend.

“Mav is out in the hangar right now working on his plane,” Penny explained with a sarcastic air of ‘what else is new?’. There was more shuffling as Penny moved to hold the phone between her shoulder and ear. She had a splatter or two of pancake batter on her manicured hands. Pete would just have to suck it up when he saw the evidence on his phone later.

“I’m making breakfast right now, would you like to come over? I’ll make up a plate for you, hun,” Penny offered sweetly. She was so caught up in putting together her Sunday breakfast feast that she hardly realized she never asked Bradley why he called.

The younger man paused for a moment. He didn’t want to impose, but he really didn’t want to be alone right now.

Pete met Bradley at the front door with a fond smile. Bradley tried his best to return the smile but he wasn’t successful. His lips just looked like they were twisted in pain and there wasn’t much light in his eyes. Maverick’s brow furrowed. He wouldn’t push until the kid was ready to open up, and he had a feeling that wouldn’t be until after he had a plate full of Penny’s famous pancakes.

Amelia all but inhaled her breakfast before she twirled around the house like a mini tornado, grabbing her bag and keys and shouting ‘ThanksforbreakfastI’mgoingtothebeachwithsomefriendsloveyoubye!’ as the door slammed shut behind her. Maverick’s eyebrows raised and Penny just shook her head with a smile.

The older woman subtly watched Bradley clear his plate. She waited until he swallowed his last bite of food and washed it down with orange juice before she rested her soft hand over his white knuckle clenched fist on the table.

“What’s going on, Bradley?” she asked gently. She was careful–like he was a scared animal that might bolt in an instant. Pete leaned in, making sure he was within his godson’s line of sight too. Bradley couldn’t meet either of their eyes. He cleared his throat and was quiet for a moment.

He told them about the nightmare. About the cold sweat, and the cold sheets, and the cold bed, and the cold empty house. Mav’s heart broke. He was trying his best to do right by Goose; he’d just barely managed to repair his relationship with his godson, but he supposed there was only so much he could protect the younger aviator from.

Pete reached across to rest an arm on Bradley’s shoulder. He tensed then relaxed, but didn’t shake off Mav’s hand. Maybe that was a good sign. Penny’s gaze was sympathetic. Bradley rarely opened up to anyone, but he knew Penny was the person to go to when pity would make him nauseous.

“It might be helpful to get some company,” the older, wiser woman suggested and squeezed Bradley’s hand. His fist unclenched a bit. Pete had been mostly silent up until this point. He wasn’t good with emotions, that much was obvious to anyone who’d spent more than half an hour outside of work with the man.

“Company other than one night stands and the stray cats you swear you don’t feed,” Pete remarked. Rooster chuckled. It was the first genuinely positive reaction they’d seen from him this morning. The cats are lovely company, thank you very much, Bradley thought.

---

Bradley tried to get his shit together. He was mostly successful. He officially took in one of the stray cats. He brought him to the vet and made sure his vaccines were up to date and got the poor cat neutered. A cat tree tower took residence next to the backdoor Bradley left cat food out by.

He even tried his hand at gardening. He started a small vegetable garden and did a bit of landscaping. Two months ago he didn’t know which perennials were best suited for California weather, much less how to take care of them. Now he’d installed a carefully timed automatic sprinkler system and even built a tarp over part of the earthy plot to prevent too much sun exposure for some of the more delicate plants.

You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

Bradley was convinced that phrase was absolute bullshit. Plenty of people were in happy relationships and still went through bouts of being miserable with themselves. Penny tsked Bradley’s pessimism at her bar top. She’d unofficially taken on the role of being his intermittent therapist.

“Bull shit or not, you need to work out some of your own issues before you start dating around,” she said pointedly. She was being pulled in the opposite direction by another bartender that needed her help when she shouted back to Bradley, “Don’t you dare download Tinder, mister!” The exclamation was far too loud for Bradley’s taste, especially when several heads suddenly whipped around to focus on him.

So work out his issues he did. 

He stopped throwing himself into work and ruthless workouts simply for the sake of avoiding his thoughts and being alone. He tried out sitting in silence with his thoughts in his lonely house. He hated it. But he got better at it over time. Goose the cat climbing across his lap and snuggling against his thigh made things better.

Companionship. Mav and Penny were right. He needed someone outside of work. Someone whose life didn’t center around the Navy or planes or beer.

---

y/n wasn’t who he ever imagined ending up with. She didn’t particularly care for the U.S. military-industrial complex. She wasn’t a beer girl and she wasn’t very good at driving. She was afraid of heights so she preferred not to fly when she traveled. Whenever she could drive instead of take a flight, she would—even though she’s admittedly a bad driver.

y/n loved Bradley’s cat. She was a cat and a dog person. She was also a bearded dragon person—something that Bradley did not expect to learn about anyone over the age of 20. Her eyes were filled with wonder when she first laid eyes on his thriving vegetable garden.

y/n was very outdoorsy. She loved nature and the beach, she dragged Bradley out of his cold house more times than he could count. The more time y/n spent at his house, the less cold it felt. She brought Bradley on hikes—he had no idea how many trails and reserves were within driving distance. Bradley always drove.

Their green thumbs linked well together. y/n introduced several cat-safe plants to the interior of Bradley’s home. Every once in a blue moon, the couple would spend time at y/n’s apartment. Her roommate was even less of a fan of the military-industrial complex and it showed. One morning Bradley woke up before y/n so he headed to her kitchen to make them breakfast. Her roommate, Allie, woke up early as well. A not-so-casual conversation ensued (read: scrutinizing questions) about Bradley being ‘“Property of Uncle Sam” over the sound of scrambled eggs sizzling. After that, Bradley suggested they spend more time at his house. It was roomier, he reasoned. y/n snorted. “You just don’t want Allie talking at you at the butt crack of dawn,” y/n corrected. Bradley nodded with tight lips.

Mav and Penny enthusiastically offered to help move y/n into Bradley’s home after the spunky y/h/c accepted his offer with a massive grin and a PG-13 kiss.

Now that Bradley woke up with y/n in his arms every morning, he wasn’t really eager to hop out of bed anymore. He was pretty sure the last time he habitually woke up later than 9 in the morning on weekends was when he was in high school.

---

y/n huffed and leaned back into Bradley’s warm embrace. The man was practically a space heater in bed, but he was her space heater.

She twisted around in his arms with a grin so that they were chest to chest. Bradley’s legs tensed when y/n’s cold feet assaulted his skin.

“We need to go feed Goose,” y/n reasoned, even though she knew full well that Bradley couldn’t be reasoned with when he was comfortable in bed. Comfortable and bed were two words that weren’t associated with each other for quite a long time for Bradley.

“He can starve for a bit,” he mumbled without opening his eyes. y/n gasped and swatted his arm. The corner of his lip twitched into a grin as he leaned forward to blindly press a kiss to y/n’s face. 

“You have morning breath, Brad,” she wrinkled her nose. He squinted one eye open and stuck his tongue out at y/n. She rolled her eyes but she too snuggled further into his warm embrace. 20 minutes or so passed by. y/n was falling in and out of almost asleep, and she was ready to get the day going.

She squirmed in Bradley’s arms again.

“Bradleyyy,” she groaned, feeling antsy. The aviator shook his head with a smile. For the first time all morning, he cracked his eyes open. The light streaming through the window highlighted the flecks of gold in his beautiful big brown eyes and y/n forgot what she was going to say.

“Shhh, five more minutes” he hushed softly and pressed a kiss to y/n’s nose, a content smile on his face.

“Give me a minute to hold my girl.”

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[erodasfishtacos]

Always Choose You

Happy 2 Years of ErodasFishTacos ♥️

Hi, my loves. Long time, no see! I am coming up on my second year of writing and wanted to celebrate with everyone.

I posted this on my patreon and wanted to share the twins with everyone. Thank you for all the support from everyone over the past two years.

I am still no longer posting regularly on here but I want to give everybody a little something ❤️

prompt: follow MLB!H and YN through nine months of pregnancy with the twins

word count: 10k+

warnings: smut, angsts, birth

Easton is 10, Cash is 8, Ezra is 6, Briar is 4 :)

I really hope you enjoy! Please let me know your thoughts!

love you all so much 

isla x

-

two months; eight weeks

Harry was sniffling the whole ride home.

He had managed to keep it together through the rest of the appointment but as soon as they got in the car, he lost it and was crying.

YN asked twice whether he was okay because she couldn’t quite decipher whether they were happy or not after a few minutes but Harry had just squeezed her thigh and said he was ‘okay’ even though she felt like he was breathing a bit too hard.

“Can you pull over?” YN asks a few minutes away from their house, it was all woods surrounding them as they drove up to where they were tucked away in privacy from the world.

“Of course, do you feel nauseous?” Harry answers instantly but he’s already pulling off on the side of the road - there wasn’t any houses or other cars near them.

“Get out with me for a minute,” YN says instead as she opens the passenger door, waiting until Harry walks around the car with a bit of a perplexed expression but as soon as he’s in front of her, she presses his body back against the car.

“I can’t tell for certain but I feel like your about to have a panic attack. The tears and how fast your chest is moving up and down. Are you scared that it’s twins?”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut and shudders out a shaky breath, shaking his head ‘no’ before actually mumbling, “It…I couldn’t be happier that we’re having twins. It’s a dream come true to have one more baby than we bargained for.”

“Then what is it, H?” YN frowns as she uses the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe the tears off his cheeks as they continuously run down, she hasn’t seen him like this in a long time and it was starting to make her worried.

“I…” Harry swallows harshly, avoiding her eye contact that he normally never did, “I feel like I’m having trouble breathing, I think am having a panic attack because I’m so in my head right now and I am so worried…”

“Harry,” YN replies firmly, putting her hand over his heart, “What are you worried about? The babies are healthy and growing normally -“

“S’not about the babies,” Harry shakes his head again.

“Baby, I’m not a mind-reader,” YN reminds him as she feels how fast his heart is beating, “If it’s not about the babies, then what is it about?”

Harry blinks up at her, hesitating as he wipes his face, “You. I…As soon as she said twins. I know it’s going to be so much for you and it’s not what we planned - to have two more. I didn’t even ask how you were feeling. And now I’m worrying that you felt pressured to have more children and if that leads you to resent me because of the twins.”

YN can’t help but snort out a laugh, “You’re absurd, you know that?”

Harry’s face drops into a boyish pout, “Don’t laugh at me.”

“You’re having a panic attack over something that isn’t even happeninf, H,” YN soothes, using a nicer tone as she wraps her arms around his narrow waist and nuzzles her face into his chest.

“I came to you asking for another baby, I’m sure you remember. I know you wouldn’t have minded more children but I knew you would have been okay with my decision if I didn’t want more. I want both of these babies and now I can’t picture just being pregnant with one. Please stop worry and go back to being happy about it.”

“I’m so happy,” Harry murmurs into her hair as he hugs her closer, “I can’t believe that we are going to have two more bubs running around our house. I think East, Cash, and Ezzie are going to be so excited. Briar may lose her mind not being the baby anymore.”

“Or what if she’s not the only girl too?” YN giggles because she can imagine Briar either loving a sister or having to transition to the idea of it.

“I can’t imagine it, I feel like you’re a boy mama beside her,” Harry smiles, his heart rate already going back to normal, “I love you with everything in me and more. I am so grateful for everything you do for us and continue to do. This family wouldn’t be without you.”

YN pulls back to smile back at her husband, “Do you want to have a quickie in the car before we go home?”

“Hey, I was trying to be romantic and sweet,” Harry remarks as a surprise laugh comes from his chest, his hand moving down to smack her bum lightly as if to scold her.

“So is that a no?”

“The answer to that question will never be no,” Harry’s voice drops lower, predictable as always, “Get your arse in the backseat.”

-

When they get home from the doctor, Anne is sat in the backyard as all four of the children run around on the playset and sandbox, Easton and Cash chasing each other around as Briar and Ezra look to be having a tea party with their dolls and stuffies.

“Is there good news?” Anne asks hopefully as Harry and YN take a seat on the lounger next to her; the kids hadn’t spotted them quite yet.

“Mum,” Harry can’t tamper down how wide his smile is, “We’re having twins.”

Anne’s eyes widen comically before they start to water, “I’m going to have two more grandbabies? Are you pulling my leg?”

YN riffles through her purse to pull out the sonogram where baby one and two are labeled, they’re tiny and still look like little blobs but they’re there nonetheless.

“My goodness,” Anne puts a hand up to her mouth, eyes watering as she stares at the little picture in her hand, “Two more to love. I’m so happy for you two.”

Anne leans over, tugs YN into a tight hug and it feels like a flashback to when they first told her about Easton.

-

YN shakily hands over the sonogram to Anne, Harry had his hand firm on her shoulder to remind that he was there.

“Look at how much he’s growing ,” Anne coos as she traces her finger over the photograph, “He’s looking so big!”

“Doctor said he looks completely healthy, labs came back and they were all as they should be,” Harry smiles proudly, his hand moving around to cradle the bump.

“You guys are so excited aren’t you,” Anne grins as she looks between the two of them - the excitement and love was obvious.

“I know we’re young but we are so excited to have this baby. We will be graduated from college and in New York for Harry. It will be a new journey but we are so incredibly happy.”

“That’s all that matters,” Anne hums as she pulls them into a strong hug, “Happy kids and a healthy grandbaby.”

-

Anne quickly tucks the picture under her thigh when all the children realize their parents are home at last.

Briar crawling up onto YN’s lap and cuddles right into her chest with a whiney, “Mama, mama, mama.”

“I’m right here. We were just gone for a little, hm? Being such a good girl for nana,” YN coos as Briar blinks heavily, she was just about ready for a nap, and that girl loved her sleep.

“Daddy,” Briar lazily reaches over to tug at Harry’s shirtsleeve to get his attention before tucking herself back into the cradle of YN’s arm.

“Hi lil’ mama, I see you,” Harry leans over to kiss her forehead and smooth out a stray curl but lets out an ‘oomph’ when three rambunctious boys jump on him at the same time, “Were you three monsters good for nana?”

They all chime out a giggly ‘yes’ as they cling on their father, excited both their parents are home with them.

“Alright, m’going to give you three a head start. I’m going to count to five and then I’m going to get you!” Harry growls which makes the boys all squeal and begin to run back into the yard.

Harry bolts after them, wasting no time in tackling Easton who’s laughing so hard he has tears streaming down his face.

Briar starts grumbling and squirming around, she is serious about her sleep, she blinks up at YN and says, “Nap, mama. Now.”

“You’re such an amazing mother,” Anne puts her hand on YN’s knee with a soft smile, “I can’t wait to see what this journey brings you.”

-

month three; 16 weeks

The smallest bump was starting to show on YN’s belly and it was easy to cover with an oversized shirt or hoodie but while she was standing at the mirror, it was obvious to see.

Harry was still in season, traveling, and her bump was changing with such frequency that she looked just a little bit different every time that Harry saw her.

They had to tell the children soon, YN didn’t know how some of them would respond - they knew that Ezra would be excited but she couldn’t guarantee the rest of them.

YN was eager to show Harry that her little bump had started to protrude, she started to show maybe a few weeks later into pregnancy with the others but since she was growing two - she assumed that she would get bigger faster and that seemed to be proving right.

That night, Harry was getting in from Denver and as always, he loved when YN stayed up and waited but he assured her she didn’t need to.

He knew how tired she was by the end of the night from parenting all day, sometimes he found her asleep from where she valiantly tried to wait up but ended up dozing off on the couch.

Harry comes in through the garage, dropping his suitcase and duffle entryway before he goes about grabbing a water bottle and seeing if there’s any leftovers from dinner.

He feels stupid that he gets butterflies in his stomach when he sees a container of chicken, rice, and vegetables with a post-it note that just has the initial H with a heart.

When he puts it in the microwave, YN must hear that because she’s padding into the kitchen in one of Harry’s shirts and just a pair of underwear.

“Mama,” Harry rasps, his voice worn from yelling during the games, “C’mere, I missed you so fucking much.”

YN walks right into his arms, allowing Harry to wrap her in a tight hug before he’s pulling back to kiss her nose then lips.

“I missed you too. I hate when you leave us, never gets easier,” YN sighs sadly and that was something that happened during every pregnancy.

YN always misses Harry when he is gone but when she was pregnant was the only time her hormones were off and she got angry about it before crying and apologizing.

“You know I’m never gone for longer than I need to be. And anytime I’m away, I’m thinking about home,” Harry murmurs sweetly, ignoring the alarm of the microwave signaling his food’s done, “Thank you for leaving me dinner. You always surprise me.”

YN steps back suddenly with an excited grin, taking enough room back so Harry can see her fully, “Speaking of surprises, I have another one.”

Harry squints at her with skepticism, leans up against the counter, “Whassit?”

YN lifts up her shirt and holds it under her breasts, turning to the side, and looking back at Harry to see his reaction.

He just stares at it for a moment in silence before his eyes find hers but he’s holding her gaze for no longer than a second before he’s glancing back down at her belly.

“S’a bump,” Harry whispers gleefully before he is scurrying forward to cradle her tummy in his hands, “It’s little but it’s there. You’ve never showed this early but it’s because we got two of ‘em in there. Oh my god, this is the best surprise.”

YN is always grateful with how attentive he is to her pregnancy, some women she’s friends with - their husbands can’t even remember what trimester there is, let alone week or what their bump looked like from the last pregnancy.

“Let me take a picture,” Harry reaches for his phone in his pocket, taking a few steps back to take a picture of his wife smiling down at where her babies are growing, “Fuck, you’re the most beautiful thing on this earth.”

And right when he’s about to put his phone away, YN says, “Wait, one more picture!”

And when Harry brings his phone back up, YN being the cheeky thing she is, pulls her shirt up until her breasts are revealed - soft but perky as she shakes them at the camera.

Harry definitely snaps more than one picture before he’s slipping his phone in his pocket, “S’that how it’s going to be? You like knowing there’s pictures of your tits on my phone, look at ‘em constantly when I’m away.”

“That’s all you have on your phone?” YN teases with a smirk, knowing there’s a double passcode protected album that contains much more than that.

“Got a pretty nice variety,” Harry drawls, his voice deep with arousal as he begins to stalk towards her, “Your tits, your bum, my cock in you, the list goes on, baby.”

YN giggles as he presses her back into the counter by crowding into her space, the ledge at the lower of her back, and his dinner completely forgotten- he was hungry for something else.

“You’re so easy,” YN tells him for the millionth time in their relationship because she can get him going by just existing.

And Harry replies often in the same way, “I’m demi and I’m only attracted to you. Imagine being married to the most attractive person in the world and that’s what it’s like for me. I am married to the person I’m most and only attracted to, it’s a dream.”

“You’re the most attractive person in the world to me,” YN replies sweetly because it’s true, he is the hottest man on this earth and no one could tell her elsewise.

“Show me then, take me out, pet,” Harry murmurs in the filthiest tone, his athletic shorts showing clearly that he was plumped and ready for her.

YN was just about the tug down on the waistband when a cry echoed out through the house.

The noise came from the top of the staircase because there was a gate up because YN didn’t want any of the children to be half asleep and take a tumble.

It was Briar without a doubt as she cried out, “Mama, daddy.”

“She has not been sleeping well,” YN sighs, patting Harry’s hip, “Reheat your dinner and then come upstairs.”

This was a common occurrence that they had to get used to with a household of children, they were going to get interrupted.

Harry gives a sad little pout but nods, giving her a kiss and a smack on the bum before YN’s disappearing back to the foyer to the staircase.

He can hear Briar’s desperate little whines when she sees her mother, “Mama, mama, hold me, please. Where’s daddy?”

His heart breaks a little bit,  YN responds too softly for him to hear but he quickly turns the microwave back on and scarfs down his dinner.

When he found them, YN had brought Briar into their bed which he didn’t mind one bit, and wasn't going to turn down a cuddle from his two favorite girls.

Briar looks up happily from where she’s cuddled into her mother, “Daddy, you’re home. I missed you.”

And it is the sweetest sentiment but he hates that his kids have to miss him, he knows it’s going to be two times harder when he has two more babies to leave at home.

He can’t share it with YN until Briar drifts off to sleep because the kids don’t know about the babies yet but they won’t be able to hide it for much longer.

“How am I going to leave you and them after the twins are born?” Harry murmurs softly after Briar had finally fell back asleep between the two of them.

“The same way you have the past four times,” YN says back as she reaches over to brush at his curls that Briar had run her hands through, “It will be okay.”

“Six kids,” Harry replies with a frown, “I will feel like shit for leaving you, every single time. More than I do now.”

“Have I not handled it well these past ten years? Since Easton was a baby?” YN asks and there’s a bit of defensiveness in her voice like he’s offended her abilities.

“Mama,” Harry titters because he didn’t want his own anxiety to be misconstrued, “It doesn’t have anything to do with you. You do such a fucking good job. We have four perfect amazing kids. It’s more about me, I guess, not being a good enough husband or dad.”

“But you are,” YN reassured him fiercely, “You are the best provider. You provide for me so that I can stay home and raise our babies. You make sure our children have anything they could ever need or want on top of always being present, even when you’re away.”

Harry turns his face to where her hand is on her cheek and kisses her palm, “Are you worried about having six kids at home without me sometimes?”

YN shakes her head, “I always have your mom’s help. Plus Easton, Cash, and Ezra will be in school full time and Briar will be in preschool three days a week before she’s off to kindergarten.”

“I never want you to feel like when I’m away you have to do this on your own.”

“Why do you talk like you abandon me? I’m never on my own. I always have you. I know that if I needed you, you would get on a flight in half a minute.”

He would. He one hundred percent would.

-

four months; 16 weeks

The bump was noticeable now.

YN could still get away with loose clothing which she has been doing but if the fabric clings anywhere near her belly it’s obvious.

Tonight was when they were going to tell the kids about their new siblings and they didn’t know how they were going to take it.

YN had her bet that Easton would be the least thrilled while Harry bet on Briar having a tantrum over it.

They were both wrong.

It was just after dinner, the sun hadn’t set yet but it was starting to creep below the trees that surrounded their estate to keep everyone out.

YN had made cupcakes and each child was eagerly unwrapping the baking paper to get to the sprinkles and icing.

“Okay, Mama and I have some news,” Harry announces when they had settled back down and were working their ways through dessert.

“S’it good or bad news?” Easton asks through a mouthful of a vanilla cupcake, blue icing coating his lips.

“We definitely think it’s good news,” YN smiles and she felt nervousness in her stomach over delivering the news and Harry could sense it so he took the reins.

“Mama is pregnant,” Harry announces which makes all the children look in a bit of confusion to which Cash interrupts.

“Does that mean you can’t have peanuts? I think Landon is pregnant in my class,” Cash remarks as Easton snickers at his cluelessness which makes him whine.

“That’s an allergy,” Harry chuckles as he clarifies, “It means that mama has babies growing in her belly. Usually, it’s just one. But we were extra lucky and mama has two in her stomach which means you’re going to be getting two brothers or sisters.”

Easton looks absolutely thrilled as he chirps, “Really? That means two more people playing games with us! That means Marco Polo in the pool will be even better!”

Ezra squeals with joy, clapping his hands, and squirming in his seat when he giggles, “I can help mama with the babies!”

Briar is still so little that she’s a bit confused but has a smile on her face.

She seems to like what Ezra says and agrees, “Take care of babies with mama and Ez.”

As for Cash, his brow is furrowed and he had stopped eating his cupcake, silent for a moment before he melts down.

“No! No babies! I don’t want a stupid baby,” Cash shouts angrily as he throws his cupcake on the floor before shoving out of his chair and storming away.

He marches toward the back sliding door that connects to the kitchen, opening it before running out into the backyard where YN and Harry watch him climb up into the tree house they have built.

None of the kids typically acted out like that and it left the three of them in disbelief that Cash had thrown his cupcake and ran outside without permission.

“Cash is in troubleee,” Easton giggles as looks down at the marble floor smeared with sprinkles and icing with a splattered cupcake.

“Easton,” YN says with a firm look.

He zips his lips quick and finds interest in his cupcake wrapper.

“That wasn’t good. Why did he do that, daddy?” Ezra asks within concern as he watches Harry bend down to pick up the thrown food and wipe the floor with a napkin.

“Well sometimes when people have really big feelings, they struggle to express it without doing something. Cash was angry and he didn’t know how to convey it so he threw his food and ran outside,” Harry explains calmly, “So we will talk to Cash about how to express that better and what you guys can do is show him lots of love. Okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” Ezra agrees sweetly and Harry has to lean down to kiss his forehead because he’s just the sweetest boy.

“I’m sorry I laughed,” Easton sniffles as he glances down, “I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

“East,” YN coos softly, quickly making her way over to lean down and hug him, “It’s okay, baby. We know it wasn’t like that, we just have to be considerate of others feelings. No tears, baby.”

“I’m not a baby,” Easton giggles through a few stray tears as his mama blows a raspberry on his cheek to brighten him up.

“You’ll always be my first baby,” YN assures him as she smothers him in love, “My baby Easton, always my bubba.”

Harry’s heart is a puddle of goo as he watches them.

“We should go check on him,” YN murmurs as she ruffles Easton’s curls, “Can you three please go in the den and put on a movie? We will be right back. We’ll just be in the backyard if you need us, okay?”

They agree before Easton is shuffling Ezra and Briar out of the room who are already chattering about what movie to put on.

YN and Harry make their way outside, down to the stump of the tree before Harry calls up, “Cash, can we please come up? S’just me and your mama.”

There’s a minute of silence before there’s a weepy, “Yes.”

Harry and YN make their way up into the little one-room tree house that had a few books and toys scattered about.

Cash was tucked in the corner, looking out the window with damp cheeks.

Harry and YN don’t try to get into his space, staying at the other side of the treehouse, and Cash refuses to look at them.

“Baby, can you please tell us what you're thinking?” YN prompts in her most soothing voice, she hated seeing Cash like this who was normally the most upbeat, carefree, goofy one.

“A-am I in trouble for throw-throwing the cupcake and coming ou-outside without permission?” Cash whimpers, stuttering through the sentence because he was crying so hard.

“No, you’re not in trouble,” Harry tells him in a tone that matches YN’s, “We know we just told you something really big and it’s okay to have big feelings. Next time, we would like you to talk instead of doing those things but you’re not in trouble, bub.”

Cash finally looks at them, green eyes watery and his bottom lip wobbling, “What if Easton doesn’t want to play with me anymore? What if Ezra and Briar like the new babies better than me?”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Harry asks with his own frown.

“Yes because Easton said more fun with games. Briar and Ezzie were excited too,” Cash pouts but his body language is more open.

When Harry opens his arms, Cash takes the invitation to move over to let Harry wrap him in a tight hug.

At eight, Cash still liked a cuddle but not as often and for Harry it was nice to have his little boy want that once again as he buried his face in Harry’s chest.

“Easton is excited to have more people to play with but that doesn’t mean he won’t want to play with you. Same with Ezra and Briar. The new babies won’t be replacing you. No one could replace you,” Harry murmurs against his son’s identical chocolate curls, “Everyone loves you so so much.”

“Promise, dad?” Cash asks, voice muffled but the words were still clear.

“I promise the twins being born will be a good thing and just make everything more fun. We would never do anything to hurt you,” Harry promises as he rocks his son a bit, a special moment he’ll never forget.

YN gives them some alone time as she goes back in the house, stepping into the den to see that all three are on the couch, and watching Moana.

Easton despises Moana so YN knows he let his little siblings decide because she could see the boredom written all over his face.

She steps over and plops next to him, whispering in his ear, “Thank you for helping. You can have another cupcake if you want one.”

And with that, Easton’s off the couch and scurrying off to get an extra helping of dessert like it was the best prize in the world.

Ezra and Briar peek over at their mother before looking back at each other before her son’s speaking up, “Mama, can we see the babies?”

“Of course, you can,” YN hums as she leans backwards against the couch, pulling up her shirt to reveal the bump.

“They’re in there?” Briar whispers in awe, both of their hands coming to roam over the skin, “What are they doing?”

“They’re getting big and strong,” Ezra chirps in knowledgeably as he leans down to lay his head on her belly, “But we can still cuddle ‘em.”

“Okay,” Briar agrees before adjusting her position too, both of them now focus back on the movie with their heads resting on her.

-

About fifteen minutes later, Harry’s coming into the den with Cash on his back, arms around his neck, and he’s belly laughing at whatever Harry is singing to him before he’s collapsing on the couch with him, acting like he’s going to squish him.

“Daddy, no!” Cash howls with humor as he lightly smacks his dad’s back before he cuts off which concerns Harry so he follows Cash’s gaze.

Cash was staring at his two younger siblings who were cuddled up against the bump in his mama’s stomach.

YN and Harry both share a concerned glance, unsure of whether this would set him off again after Harry just spent the time to calm him down.

“Mama,” Cash’s voice is shaky again but this time he sounds nervous.

“Yes, baby?”

“Can, um… Can I have a cuddle with the babies too?” He asks hesitant before adding, “I will be nice, not like earlier.”

“Come here, sweet boy,” YN titters as she beckons him over, Ezra moves over back towards his original position on the couch so that Cash can have his turn as his eyes stay glued to the screen.

Cash cautiously moves over until his head is rested by Briar, YN’s hand coming to run her fingers through his unruly curls as he wriggles to get comfortable.

“Just because you got angry earlier doesn’t mean you’re not nice,” YN reminds him, “It’s okay to be upset that there’s going to be a change.”

“Daddy said that Easton, Ezra, and Briar will still want to play with me.”

“Of course they will,” YN soothes with a chuckle, “You’re still going to be just as special to daddy, me, East, Ez, and Briar. That will never change.”

“I think I’m excited then,” Cash mumbles as his eyes start to droop, tired from all the activity, and soon after, his breathing had evened out and he was fast asleep with his head on the bump.

-

month five; 20 weeks

There was an uptick in paparazzi as soon as people caught wind that Harry Styles was expecting baby number five (and six).

Which in turn, made his protectiveness go up nearly tenfold - always concerned about his wife and children’s safety around aggressive, photo-hungry people.

They weren’t trying to hide the pregnancy, at this point, YN’s bump was big enough that it was unmistakable what it was.

It started at the grocery store when someone snapped a blurry picture of YN reaching for a box of cereal and her bump was obvious.

The next day it was all over the news.

Styles with Baby Five on the Way!

How Many Kids Does Harry Styles Want?

Accident or Planned? YN Styles Pregnant!

Harry Styles Net Worth Just Hit $600 Million - A Baby To Celebrate?

YN stayed out of the media, she wasn’t active on social media or trying to be an influencer - she wasn’t ever interested in that and so in turn, people dubbed YN as mysterious because they did not know much about her.

Harry was arguably one of the most famous athletes on earth but despite that, he was just as private in his personal life.

He was constantly being put on all the major sports networks, he was on television usually three times a week during a game, and then post-games interviews after that.

Harry did interviews on television, in magazines but he always made sure that the main thing he was talking about was his career and not his personal life.

Did he like to throw in how much he loved his wife and kids? Sure but he wasn’t eager to share anymore than that usually.

It will never feel normal to have paparazzi following her and she especially hates it when she has the kids without Harry.

A group of seven or eight photographers decided that it was perfectly acceptable to plant themselves at one of Easton’s baseball games to try to get more pictures of YN’s bump.

Harry was in the city for a photoshoot for Nike but he was going to be on his way to the game if he wasn’t done already.

YN was on edge because she’s trying to watch Easton play but all she can focus on is a group of men with long lenses that are all pointed at her.

Normally the other kids would go play on the playground but YN didn’t trust those men and made them right by her side with the photographers around which made them all a bit miserable and whiny.

It was also embarrassing because YN could tell it made the other families attending the game uncomfortable and they all knew it was because of her.

The biggest concern was when Harry shows up because YN knows that he will absolutely flip when he sees a group of men with cameras pointed towards his pregnant wife and little children.

And she was a hundred percent right.

YN (and honestly the other parents) watches as a tinted, sleek matte black SUV pulls into the parking lot and the vehicle is unmistakably Harry’s, and by the way he slams on the break, throws the car in park, and is getting out of the car with agitation.

He’s a bit far away from where YN is, she can’t hear everything that’s being said but she does see is Harry storming right over the group of men who quickly turn the camera and video recorders on him.

YN quickly gets up, asking one of the mom’s who she is friends with if she can keep an eye on the three for a moment while she makes sure Harry doesn’t do anything he regrets.

When she gets close enough, Harry’s not yelling but his voice is booming and full of threats as he speaks, “Following me is one thing. Follow m’wife and children to their baseball games, are you fucking insane? Do I have to file a restraining order against all fucking seven of you? You don’t want that or you’ll lose out of all your money shots, you fuckin’ leeches.”

“Harry,” YN interrupts as the photographers try to profusely apologize, the last thing they want is Harry to file a restraining order because he makes them the most money.

Harry’s green eyes are fiery, his fist clenched at his sides, and his shoulders tensed as he stares down the paparazzi who are cowering and taking big steps back (they also probably don’t want their cameras broken).

“Get the fuck out here. If you release any pictures of my children,” Harry grits out, trying to maintain his cool, “I will sue you for everything you’re worth. I’m an adult, I chose this. They didn’t. I won’t hesitate to protect them. Do you understand me?”

They all nod with worried expressions.

“I said, do you fucking understand me?” Harry barks out, demanding verbal confirmation which they all give as soon as he shouts at them, he’s giving them one last dirty look before they’re turning and running to their cars.

Harry waits until they’re all peeling out of the parking lot before he’s turning to YN, who’s looking at him with a pursed expression, he pouts at her, “What?”

“Nothing,” YN shrugs as she intertwines their hands to begin their way back to the field where all the other parents are trying desperately not to stare but they are, “You’re just so hot when you’re being a good dad and husband.”

Cue Harry’s sleazy grin, “Yeah? Does that mean I’ll get some tonight, mama?”

“I’ll consider it,” She hums teasingly, smacking his hand when he moves to get a feel of her bum but when he tries again, she lets him get a good handful as a promise of tonight.

“How are the bubs,” Harry asks as his hand moves to her bump, “Can see your bump from a mile away now. It’s making newspapers everywhere. My pretty pregnant wife.”

YN scoffs as she shakes her head, “I don’t know why but I saw my face on a People Magazine in the grocery store yesterday. It said, ‘A Baby To Save The Marriage’, do you have something to tell me?”

Harry snorts out a laugh, “The day they get a story right will be a magical day in history. Those magazines don’t benefit from healthy marriages and happy families.”

“They really don’t benefit from us then,” YN mumurs as Harry leans over to kiss her temple, “They’re doing good. I thought I felt a flutter of movement earlier but it was only once so I don’t know.”

“I can’t wait to feel them. Just feels like yesterday Briar was kicking at you in the middle of the night and it woke me up,” Harry laughs fondly, “Speaking of Briar.”

As soon as they got close enough, Briar was hurriedly running over to her father who scooped her right up, “Missed you, daddy.”

-

When they got home and all the kids were asleep, Harry made a few calls to his lawyers about what he can do about the paparazzi showing up at the children’s sporting games and how to prevent their pictures from getting blasted all over the internet.

YN was brushing out her damp hair in their bathroom when she felt that same flutter from earlier but it was stronger, she held her breath hoping that it wasn’t her mind playing tricks on her.

The movement continued which made YN hike up her shirt and touch gently at her stomach, there was definitely a baby or maybe both moving around in there, and she was so excited she dropped her hairbrush.

Without a second thought, she’s walking as fast as her pregnant self will let her down the stairs to the office where Harry’s having a tense conversation based on the sharpness in his tone.

“That’s the only thing that can be done?” Harry snapped at someone, his face was contorted into an angry grimace as he sat in his office chair, feet up on the desk, and twirling his wedding band.

When Harry sees YN standing there with wide eyes and an unreadable expression, he rudely says to whoever is on the other line, “I’ll call you back tomorrow,” before hanging up.

“Everything okay, baby?” Harry worries as he stands up and starts walking towards her.

YN nods before shoving up her shirt again, she grabs his hand as soon as he’s close enough, and puts it right on the middle right of her bump where there’s one of the twins rolling around.

YN doesn’t realize that she has tears streaming down her face until Harry wipes them before kissing her nose, “Why are you crying, mama?”

“I didn’t realize how much I missed the feeling,” YN sniffles with a giggle, they were happy tears, and it was her twins telling her that they’re healthy and growing strong - that she’s doing a good job.

“It’s just like a butterfly,” Harry hums as he squats down, kissing over the spot where one of the babies is moving, and YN’s heart melts at the sight, she loved him so much.

-

month six; week 24

The sex was going to be a surprise to everyone, they decided just like with their other babies that they wanted it to be a mystery up until their birth.

As they lay in bed, Harry is in his usual position now which was with his head resting on her thighs, just below the bump - he was always waiting to feel a kick or flutter.

“How do you feel about the name Posie for a girl?” Harry hums as they both scroll through their phones on a baby name app.

“Do you think we will have a girl? What if we have two girls?” YN hums in disbelief, “I just can’t imagine Briar having sisters. But no, no to Posie.”

“What about Teddy? Could be for a boy or a girl?” Harry brings after a few minutes later as he favorites that name.

“I love it actually,” YN sits up a bit more, the name instantly connecting for her, “I think I like it best for a boy but I love that name.”

Harry looks at her skeptically, “Did we just come up with one of the names that easily? Can it be that simple?”

YN shrugs with a hand affectionately rubbing  at her belly as she says the name out loud again, “Teddy. Teddy Styles. It’s perfect.”

Then for the next few weeks it’s not easy.

Harry will text her a few.

H: Annie, Violet, or Daisy?

YN: Nope.

YN: Lily, Vera, or Mia?

H: No.

Then one day YN texts

YN: I think I found the name. Just like Teddy, it could be for a girl or boy.

H: Try me. I think we have vetoed every name in existence.

YN: Scout.

And as Harry sits in the locker room, supposed to be putting on his gear, he’s struck with absolute joy because it fits so well.

H: Scout and Teddy?

YN: Scout and Teddy.

H: I love them.

YN: We named our babies 🥹

H: I love you, mama ❤️

-

YN isn’t the same person she was when she had Easton - then she was young, afraid to offend, and eager to please.

And when Gemma had come at her for the unplanned pregnancy, YN had let it flip her whole world upside down and make her feel like absolute garbage for quite a while.

Now, YN was different and for the better - she had no problem standing up for herself when it came to her sister-in-law.

They didn’t spend much time together but YN tolerated her.

Ever since the riff about Easton, Harry’s never been close with her again, and YN knows Gemma puts blame on YN for that but YN couldn’t convince Harry to try to make amends because he didn’t want to.

YN had a feeling as she was cleaning up the dining room after a family dinner with Anne, Dave (her boyfriend), and Gemma that there had to be at least one smart remark.

It comes as YN begins loading the dishwasher while Anne and Dave help Harry wrangle the kids outside to make s’mores in the fire pit.

“Thanks,” YN says to Gemma as she brings in the rest of the plates and silverware from dinner, Gemma nods before leaning against the counter and crosses her arms over her chest.

“So twins, that’s so exciting,” Gemma remarks but her voice is flat and doesn’t sound like the thought of having two more nieces/nephews is that exciting to her.

“It is,” YN nods as she focuses on scrubbing a spot on one of the wine glasses, her hormones had been shifty these past few weeks as to be expected with pregnancy and she didn’t like where this was going.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Gemma prompts with a casually shrug, trying to come off as nonchalant, “I mean four is a lot already and you guys are still young. Six kids by the time you’re thirty and thirty-one? I mean Harry didn’t get to experience any of his twenties.”

YN, who is normally a pro at containing her rage, well that’s not the case tonight because her hormones have her capacity for bullshit at an all time low, she slams down the wine glass in the sink and looks over at Gemma.

“Harry didn’t get to experience his twenties?” YN scoffs with a dangerous edge to her voice, “He became the richest baseball player in history, is the captain of The New York Yankees, is living every dream he had as a child. He experienced more in his twenties than most people ever do.”

Gemma’s lips turn down, she was testing YN and was definitely surprised by the pushback that she was getting.

She had been expecting that she could bully YN and that wasn’t the case, she wasn’t the scared and pregnant twenty year old anymore. She was a grown woman who was secure in her relationship.

“It’s not like that,” Gemma tries to downplay, picking at her nails, “It’s just he could have done more if he didn’t have so many responsibilities at home. I’m just looking out for my little brother.”

YN shuts off the water with a bit more force than necessary before grabbing a hand towel to dry off, “Gemma, I’m so sorry if it offends you the amount of children we decided to have. However, I have some bad news for you. I couldn’t have conceived these babies without Harry and believe me, he wanted our children more than anything else in the world.”

YN continued on as her voice rose louder, “More than money, more than baseball. I know you don’t understand because you don’t have children but I know he would choose me and our babies over baseball and experiencing his twenties a million times over. I’m sorry if that upsets you.”

Then someone is clearing their throat and both women look to see Harry standing in the doorway to the kitchen with furious expression, arms crossed tight across his chest, and the vein on his neck popping in effort to stay calm.

“Get out.”

And Gemma has the nerve to look at YN with a sickeningly sweet smile, as if Harr was telling YN to get out but she knew better and Gemma was too cocky for her own good, honestly delusional at this point.

“Gemma, get the fuck out of my house,” Harry repeats with a louder tone this time, “I don’t know how many chances I have given you to get your shit together but enough is enough.”

Gemma opens her mouth like she’s about to argue but Harry puts his hand up to stop her from even beginnning.

“I don’t want to hear it. Nothing you ever say or do is helping me,” Harry tells her clearly, “And for the record, YN couldn’t be more accurate. I chose her and I chose all six of my children first. Over anything. You have your own life to live, stop trying to control mine.”

“I am just try-“

“God damn it, don’t make me yell,” Harry sighs as he squeezes the bridge of his nose.

“You always pick YN. You’re supposed to pick your family.”

Harry lets out a laugh, loud and obnoxious enough that it even makes YN jump, “For fucks sake, Gemma. Don’t you see? I will always pick YN. I will always pick my children. They are my family. Not you, a poor excuse of a sister.”

And at first, YN’s heart jumps when she sees Ezra wander right up next to Harry and tug on his shorts, unaware of how absolutely seething Harry is.

“Daddy, Easton was telling a scary story and now m’really anxious. Can you help me do my breathing to calm down?”

And Harry snaps out of it instantly, his death glare towards his sister softens when he kneels down to attend to his son.

“Of course, I can. Patricia will be so happy to hear that you used it. Let’s go somewhere quiet, okay?” Harry murmurs to his son before taking his hand and guiding him out of the room without a glance back.

YN just refolds the dish towel, not interested in continuing the argument , and sure as hell not letting it bother her - she just walks out the back door to be with her children outside, leaving Gemma alone.

That night, as Harry and YN shower the smoke from the campfire off of them, he cradles her bump and holds her stare, firmly telling her once again.

“I will always choose you. I will always choose our children.”

-

month seven; week twenty eight

YN accompanied Harry to Los Angeles for five days while Anne watched the children back at home - a little babymoon if you will.

However, it was proving a bit difficult to actually do anything they were looking forward to because of how big YN’s bump was getting.

“My thigh is cramping,” YN moans uncomfortably from where she’s lying on her back, Harry holding one of her legs bent near his chest but when he hears her complaint, he pulls out.

“You want to ride me?” Harry asks with little to no other suggestion because the bump was on the way in almost every position.

“You really think that I can lift myself up and down right now?” YN bites out with no real sharpness, she had sweat beading at her temples already and she was only one orgasm in from his mouth.

“I can just use my mouth again?” He suggests as he massages the muscles in her thigh that are twitching, YN felt bad because she could physically see how much he wanted it.

She wanted it too.

“No no, I want to,” YN puffs a stray hair off her forehead before she gets an idea, “Just spoon me from behind.”

Harry helps her lay down on her side before cozying up behind her - his lips teasing at the nape of her neck as he guides himself in, both of them moaning in relief when he begins to pump in and out.

“Yes,” YN mewls in relief as it starts to feel good, Harry moves to get his hand between her thighs to rub at her clit but the bump is in the way, “I can without it,” She assures him breathlessly as he kisses her shoulder and moves up to play with her swollen nipples instead.

“There we go,” Harry groans in pleasure as his forehead drops to her shoulder, she could tell he was trying to keep his pace steady but he was struggling, “God, you always feel so fuckin’ good f’me. No wonder I fuckin’ see you in my dreams, darling.”

It wasn’t the dirtiest thing out of his mouth ever but it was enough to release that band of tension in her lower stomach to make her find her second relief quickly.

As soon as she was taken care of, Harry was picking up the speed of his hips, even though she was sensitive, it still felt good to know that she was making her husband feel just as amazing as she did - she loved feeling his tensing ab muscles against her back, his thighs working right behind hers.

“S’good,” Harry grits out as he starts to finish, “Fuck, you always make me come so hard.”

After Harry pulls out, he grabs a cold washcloth from the bathroom before running it over YN’s overheated body, don’t get her wrong - the sex was phenomenal as always but with two babies only two months away from being born pressing on her insides, it took a lot more out of her.

“Baby,” Harry chuckles as he runs it over her forehead, “You should have told me it was too much. You’re still breathing heavy.”

“It felt so good though, H. Wanted it,” YN whines, wrapping her hand around his wrist and he gets the hint, running the cold over her skin once again.

“Maybe we should just stick to mouth stuff until the babies are born?” He suggests softly before patting her with a dry towel.

YN snorts out a laugh, “Mouth stuff? Are we in high school?”

“Heyy,” Harry huffs as he tries to stop a smile from appearing in his face, “M’just trying to be thoughtful and you’re making fun of me.”

YN pulls him down for another kiss, “I think you’re right though. I feel like I just ran a marathon and all I did was lay there and take it.”

“Yeah but you looked so fuckin’ sexy taking it,” Harry murmurs against her lips, his hand rubbing over her taut skin.

“Don’t need to charm me, already got six babies out of me,” YN jokes which now it’s Harry’s then to snort out a laugh.

“Never going to stop trying to charm you, mama,” Harry assures her as he lays back down next to her and yawns

-

eight months; 37 weeks

Dr. Riviera had informed them that twins typically didn’t make it past thirty-eight weeks, it wasn’t common, and that twins usually came out weighing a bit less because they had to share space and resources.

Even though the doctor can only predict, she didn’t see why YN would carry to thirty-eight weeks with how well the babies were developing and they didn’t seem to be wanting to move anytime soon.

Anne had been staying with them because she was going to help with the children for a little bit after the twins were born and she wanted to be there to watch them when YN went into labor.

Harry was in the city for a sponsorship meeting with Gatorade when his phone began to buzz in the middle of the meeting.

He didn’t care that he was being rude when everyone in the room was speaking to him but he just gets up out of his seat and leaves the room when he sees that his wife is calling.

“Mama, everything okay?” Harry asks nervously, ignoring the looks he’s getting from the men in suits as he exits the conference room into the empty corridor, making sure his car keys are in his pocket.

“Don’t sound so scared,” YN chuckles softly, sounding completely okay, “I just called to see what you were craving for dinner.”

False alarm.

-

That same night though, it wasn’t.

Harry and YN went to bed at a decent time after getting all the children down, probably around ten thirty when they drifted off after a long day in the city and with the kids.

It was when Harry woke up around two in the morning when YN shook him a bit, as he blinks his eyes open and turns on the bedside lamp - he realizes the sweat was gathering at YN”s brow and the vein in her forehead was popping.

“Ca-Can you help me get to the bathroom?” She panted, out of breath, “I think I’m going into labor. I need to pee. O-Oh fuck.”

Harry quickly jumps out of bed to help guide her to the bathroom before getting her back into the bedroom, “What do you want to do-“

Just as he asks, YN lets out a low groan and a splash of fluid trickles down her legs and onto the carpet - water breaking right as they speak, “H, they-they’re coming soon. Please, I think we need to go.”

Harry was shaking with nervousness as he loaded up the hospital bag, woke Anne to let her know what was going on, and they were off to have their twins in less than twenty minutes.

Harry was surprised just how quickly her labor was progressing, with the other four, it was a slower, more tedious process of hours and hours of dilation before there was any pushing.

But YN is gritting her teeth, tears streaking her cheeks as she tells Harry, “Please, baby. Drive as fast as you can. I-I need to push. I need to, they’re coming fast. I need to push.”

“Okay, okay,” Harry grips the wheel, he know he can’t drive in a way that could get them in an accident but he really didn’t want his wife to have the babies on the side of the road.

Luckily, the hospital wasn’t more than fifteen minutes away and he calls shakily ahead so that they know to expect them.

As soon as they have an IV hooked up, YN’s changed into a hospital gown, and in a hospital bed - they’re encouraging her to push, no time for an epidural which was proving hard for YN.

“It hurts so fucking bad,” YN cries as she squeezes Harry’s hand with all of her her might, it was moving fast and they hadn’t been in the hospital for more than half and hour and the doctor was telling them he expected the twins to come soon, “It hurts to push.”

Harry has the utmost respect for his wife. He can’t possibly even begin to imagine the tremoundous pain that she’s agreed to put herself through so that they could have more children.

He’s already a sniffling mess when the doctor announces that she’s crowning.

“Mama, they have so much hair,” Harry chuckles as he looks to see, moving to kiss her hand, “You’re so close. I can’t wait to see what we’re having. A boy or a girl. You’re doing so good, baby.”

“One more push,” The nurse encourages and YN is squeezing her eyes shut and groaning as she uses all of her might to give a long, hard push.

Harry’s so distracted by watching YN that he doesn’t even realize that push had been enough for their baby to come out, only realizing that one had been born when a high-pitched cry pierces the room.

“Baby number one is a boy,” The doctor announces before the nurses are working on cleaning off the baby and doing all their routine tests.

“A boy,” YN says breathlessly, blinking tearfully at Harry, “Wa-wait, I need to push again. Will the other one come just as fast?” YN directs the question at the medical staff.

“Typically they come out without minutes of each other,” The nurse smiles as she wipes YN’s forehead with a cold rag.

“Gonna give us our other baby?” Harry murmurs distractedly, he was watching as they put the baby on the scale before rubbing it off with a clean towel to get off the fluid - he was memorized until he was snapped back when YN is howling out another grunt of effort before the second piercing cry of the night echos through the room.

“Baby number two is also a boy,” The doctor calls out before passing off the other baby, “Good job, mom. Really got those babies out fast and with no pain medication, very impressive.”

YN’s exhausted as she tries to catch her breath, “Two boys, H. Two boys.”

Is anyone surprised that Harry is full on sobbing happy tears by the time that the babies are laid on YN’s chest where she cradles them closely, tears streaming down her cheeks as well.

“Two more boys. Five boys and one girl,” YN giggles happily as she leans down to nuzzle her nose against each one of their cheeks as Harry caresses YN’s hair and watches on in awe.

“You did such an amazing job,” Harry sniffles as he leans up to kiss YN’s temple, “I am so proud of you. Look at what you did, mama. Gave us two healthy boys, you did it.”

“Mmm,” YN hums tiredly, chuckling when one starts rooting which Harry helps adjust her gown to help the baby find what it was looking for, “And they’re latching with no issues. This is perfect.”

“You’re so fuckin’ perfect,” Harry says firmly as he can’t get his heartbeat to slow, “And you gave us two more perfect babies.”

“I love them so much already,” YN whispers as she watches the baby eat hungrily with the cutest little coos as they can barely keep their eyes open, “Teddy Reese and Scout Hudson.”

“Our little Teddy and Scout,” Harry repeats in disbelief of his life, of how he couldn’t ask for anything better, “Welcome to the family.”

[serotoninzo]

to anyone who was a fan of wilbur or liked lovejoys music, here are some recommendations!!!!

(i must warn you that my music taste leans more towards rock/alt but i still have a lot of indie as well)

-wallows

-djo (it's actually great, not just the tiktok song)

-TopLady (my personal fav is Green Light Red Light)

-bikini kill, my beloved.

-current joys

-dayglow

-beabadoobee! (specifically her song, 'talk')

-gorillaz

-tame impala (i think their music is cool)

-brent faiyaz

-miguel

-the beaches (their song blame brett is addicting, for me at least.)

-ezra furman (mainly their song, lilac and black)

-the runaways

-CROWDED HOUSE 🙏🙏

-HOT FLASH HEAT WAVE (THEIR SONG HESITATION IS SOOOOOO 😩)

-yot club!

-peter bjorn & john (their song young folks is good, you might have heard it in gossip girls ep1, s1)

-empire of the sun (i recommend their song we are the people)

-wolf alice! (don't delete the kisses is popular, i think)

-song telephones by VACATIONS

-vance joy

-the drums (especially their song 'money', it reminds me of yot club)

-carwash (their song striptease is sososososososo good 😊)

-slowdive

-pinegrove [i think this one is controversial but i can't remember:( ]

-no buses by artic monkeys (this is a classic/popular band, you probably already listen to them)

-MICKEY DARLING (recommend their song im just a buzzkill and big sad)

-ladyhawke (mainly their song 'my delirium', i must warn that this artist is under the genre pop, just incase if you aren't looking for that)

-JAWNY (if you don't know who that is, one song that is well known is, 'trigger of love'.)

-WILLIS (i like their song, 'i think i like when it rains)

-Cottonwood Firing Squad (personal fav song of theirs: hospital beach)

-the daughters of eve (a classic, especially the song 'hey lover')

-fall out boy (i love them ❤️)

-EYEDRESS (i believe their song 'jealousy' is popular)

-Dream, Ivory. (i have so many favs of theirs but my no.1 is their song 'welcome and goodbye.')

-dr.dog (this is a rock band, their song, 'where'd all the time go' is popular, especially among the outer banks fandom.)

-cocteau twins (their song cherry coloured funk is a must)

-cherry by chromatics

-boygenius!!!

-big thief

-big black car by gregory alan isakov (this is folk not indie but it's still good)

-awfultune! (popular songs of theirs would be i met sarah in the bathroom but i also recommend their song redesign.)

-milky chance (their no1 hit was stolen dance)

you could also listen to the neighbourhood but less known songs (fallen star, jealou$y, etc.)

sorry if majority of these are rock/alternative, i have a variety of music genres i listen to but rock happens to be my number 1.

you might not like these recommendations but hopefully they give you an idea of what to look for.

anyway, sending lots of love and support to shelby and wilbur soot's close friends, i can't imagine what it must be like to discover someone who was a big brother, etc to you was so horrible to his own girlfriend. genuinely disgusting.

i will forever miss wilbur soot but i will not miss william gold.

i will miss the times when he'd play geoguessr or when he'd make silly jokes but i will not miss him being a literal abuser, groomer, etc.

i don't wish death on him however.

i hope he learns his lesson. i also hope he takes actual accountability, instead of whatever that shit 'apology' was. it literally overtook colleen ballinger's ukelele apology ffs 🤦‍♀️

[kazoosandfannypacks]

"i knew you'd never agree, and we didn't have time..." "typical. always a plan, never a good one." PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS (2024) A GOD BUYS US CHEESEBURGERS AHSOKA (2023) FAR, FAR AWAY

do not repost my gifs. do not download my gifs to use for other edits. if you’d like to know how to add these gifs to a post without violating tumblr’s t.o.s., or want to know how to find the clips i made these from, just shoot me a dm or an ask. i’d love to share what i know! 

image id and taglist under the cut.

a series of gifs, one column of them featuring the reunion hug from pjo and the olympians epsiode 5, the other showing the reunion hug from the ahsoka series episode 6.

the first two gifs are annabeth and sabine, respectively, both with awestruck smiles.

we then see a shot over annabeth's shoulder of percy, returned from the river, and a shot over sabine's shoulder of ezra leaning on the door of his space house.

there's a gif of percy waving and shrugging next to gif of ezra smiling and shrugging.

next we see annabeth walking towards percy, paired with sabine walking towards ezra.

we then see percy, guesturing with his hands as he makes an explanation, and ezra doing the same.

the next two gifs are annabeth hugging percy and sabine hugging ezra.

we then see close ups, in the first gif of percy's face, from confusion to a slight smile, and ezra, smiling very happily.

the last two gifs show annabeth, letting go, almost as if a little confused of what came over herself, and sabine letting go as well.

artist's notes: these edits were a nightmare to try and convert: tumblr said the clips were too small to covert to gifs, my video editor app won't let me loop gifs, and i ended up with several road bumps while using canva. eventually i got them working though!

sabezra taglist: @laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @kanerallels @piraterefrigerator @jedi-nurse @dootchster @lucasbridger @redroverrider @light-umbra @commander-tech @jedimandalorian @notanodinarygirl {if you’d like to be added to or removed from my Sabezra taglist, let me know!}

percabeth taglist:  { i do not currently have a percabeth taglist, but have a feeling that i may be making more percabeth gifsets/fanart/fics in the future. if you'd like to be tagged in these, let me know in the notes or tags of this post, or shoot me a dm or ask!}

[feminist-space]

"Long COVID has destroyed my life

I would love nothing more than to “finally ignore COVID,” as the headline to Dr. Ashish Jha’s July 31 op-ed reads (“With a few basic steps, most of us can finally ignore COVID”). As a healthy, vaccinated, and recently boosted 35-year-old, I did what he said: I ignored COVID-19 on a weekend trip with friends in September 2022. But the infection I got as a result has all but destroyed my life.

A week after my infection, I began to experience intense fatigue, overwhelming headaches, and cognitive challenges that continue to this day. These symptoms are debilitating: I can no longer work, socialize, or travel. My finances are dire. And if I am unable to avoid another infection, my condition may deteriorate even further.

Jha wrote of long COVID “treatments” being promising. Perhaps he could clarify what treatments he is referring to, because my doctors say that there are no approved treatments for long COVID.

A recent study funded by the NIH’s RECOVER initiative showed that 10 percent of adults infected with COVID still have symptoms six months later, even with vaccination. By downplaying the prevalence and debilitating outcomes of even moderate long COVID, Jha is signing thousands of people up to the misery and despair with which I live every day.

Ezra J. Spier

Oakland, Calif.

Another view from infectious disease doctors

As infectious disease doctors, we disagree with Dr. Jha’s contention that it is time to ignore COVID-19.

Yes, being vaccinated and taking Paxlovid thankfully decrease the risk of severe disease. But only 43 percent of people age 65 and over and only 17 percent of all Americans had received an updated COVID vaccination by May 2023, and access to Paxlovid treatment is inequitable by race and insurance status.

Long-term complications of COVID can be devastating, including after second infections.

More than half a million Americans have died since the summer of 2021, when sufficient vaccine doses were available: COVID death rates in the United States continue to be double those of Canada. Termination of free tests and “commercialization” of medications as implemented by the federal government will only widen our country’s grisly COVID-related health disparities.

Inevitably, ignoring COVID leads to ignoring the slow-motion epidemic of long COVID. Standing up against such neglect, leaders like Boston Mayor Michelle Wu and Governor Maura Healey can promote meaningful measures to protect our communities: air purification in all schools and public spaces; free COVID-preventive masks (KN95 or N95, not surgical masks); tests, vaccines, and Paxlovid for all who cannot afford to buy them; and concern for and support of long COVID victims.

Dr. Julia Koehler

Boston

Dr. Regina LaRocque

Wellesley

We remain vulnerable to long COVID

Ashish Jha’s position as former White House COVID-19 Response Coordinator is a conflict of interest masquerading as a qualification for his op-ed. Researchers who study long COVID stated in a recent paper in Nature Reviews Immunology that “the oncoming burden of long COVID faced by patients, health-care providers, governments and economies is so large as to be unfathomable.” Rapid tests, which are less accurate with recent strains while PCR tests are less available, and low death rates give a false sense of security.

I agree that despite progress, more buildings need the air filtration and ventilation that would make public life safer. But Jha omits our vulnerability to long COVID after even mild infections, its devastating effects, and higher death rates for hospital-acquired COVID-19, combined with a lack of collective protection in health care settings with unmasked, untested people who prefer to ignore COVID-19.

Aside from advocating vaccines, he describes an everyone-for-themselves approach, not mentioning responsibility to protect others or access to essentials.

Jha dines in a restaurant with his friends while patients even in leading cancer hospitals are forced into Russian roulette, thanks to this approach.

Kathryn Nichols

Cambridge

Vigilance is necessary to prevent long COVID

While I understand the desire to promote optimism amid the ongoing pandemic, I am deeply concerned about the potential consequences of downplaying the importance of COVID precautions and the significant risk of long COVID. As a person living with long COVID for the last 16 months despite being vaccinated and boosted, I have experienced post-exertional malaise, fatigue, headaches, joint and muscle pain, cognitive dysfunction, and more symptoms that have continued to today. I have tried numerous medicines, supplements, and even participated in a clinical trial, only to find limited relief from the persistent effects of this virus.

Such a stance overlooks the reality that millions more people could end up with long COVID if we fail to remain vigilant in our efforts to combat the virus. Long COVID is a devastating consequence of this virus, and we cannot rely solely on vaccinations to end the pandemic. Even with widespread vaccination, the risk of contracting long COVID remains high. A recent study funded by the NIH’s RECOVER initiative showed that 10 percent of adults infected with COVID still have symptoms six months later. Minimizing the significance of long COVID not only neglects the suffering of long-haulers but also risks undermining public health efforts to control the spread of the virus.

By raising awareness about the risk of long COVID, media outlets can play a pivotal role in educating the public and promoting continued vigilance. Responsible reporting on the enduring impact of long COVID can serve as a reminder that the pandemic is far from over and that we must remain committed to taking necessary precautions to protect ourselves and others. Highlighting the struggles of long COVID survivors and the lack of proven treatments can spur further research and medical advancements in addressing this condition. Empathy and support for those living with long COVID are essential in paving the way for better understanding, compassionate care, and better health outcomes for everyone as COVID rates increase again this summer.

Travis Hardy

Norwalk, Conn.

Link https://www.bostonglobe.com/2023/08/05/opinion/cant-ignore-long-covid-jha/

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

ezra + bath oil + titties

GO

You absolute menace ily hahaha. Initially I was just going to do a short lil drabble that was a continuation of our disgusting musings about this man, but then I said why not make this into an entire feature in honor of @swiftiscruff's Friendship Exchange? You know, give our boy Ezra some real time to shine, and all in the name of celebrating friendships formed over that little verbose slut?

So, here is my Ezra oil shower titty fic dedicated to the lovely Kelli in celebration of the Friendship Exchange.

𝗔𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂

PAIRING(s): Ezra x fem!reader RATING: explicit material | 18+ WORD COUNT: 3k CONTENT: AU where Cee doesn't exist sorry lmao, established relationship, titty fixation, edible/food safe bathing oils, Ezra comes with his own warning, egalitarian assplay, cumplay, fabric washcloth used as gripping agent

Your nose for the most part had become blind to Ezra’s signature, tangy musk that edged into a ripe stench on hotter days. Even though you’d settled into the outskirts of a modest trading town and begun taking on the doldrums of keeping house, Ezra hadn’t fallen from his habit of going a little too long in between bath days. In times past he would go unshowered due to lack of amenities – the worlds you’d traveled and harvested from had hardly offered much in the way of hygienic routine – but now there was no such obstacle. He could bathe any time he wished and take as long as he pleased. You had your own home together now, one you were building upon each and every day, but the transient, unpredictable life that had become so ingrained into him was hard to shake. The notion of permanence was fleeting no matter how many days passed under your roof.

You, on the other hand, had become part fish since putting down roots here. There was a bathtub and a separate shower, and you craved the warm pool of water to soak in after a long day. Ezra liked to give you grief for wasting such a precious resource as water even though this planet was abundant in it. And yet, his admonishing never kept him from slipping into the wash room to ogle your bare form in the bath. You just wish every now and then he’d partake himself.

“The suns in all their unwavering glory has me feeling wrung of every bit of moisture,” he huffs as he fills a glass with something to wet his tongue and flood his scratchy, dry throat. “It’s good fortune that we needn’t adorn ourselves in protective suits here. I can only imagine the sort of foul fog that would cling to me then.”

You’re well aware of the second sun’s habit of becoming unbearable in these few weeks that your now home planet rotates closer to it. Your skin is sticky and wet with exertion, but at least all the growth pods you and Ezra have worked so tirelessly to establish are flourishing. They needed as much extra attention as any human on this planet did during these hotter spells. Soon enough you will forget all about the vehement heat when you and Ezra take your yields to the market during The Great Exchange and come home with lighter wagons and heavier pockets.

You accept the glass from Ezra and drink down whatever he’d poured. The cool creep of it down your throat already feels one step closer to equilibrium. “I guess we should wash up before we get the entire house dirty,” you reason.

“Hm, I suppose we should.”

You trod upstairs to the bathroom and bite back a scream when you see Ezra procure one entirely too small washcloth from the cabinet.

“You’re only washing at the sink?” you ask in what you pray isn’t a too panicked timbre.

“You don’t think the sink is robust enough to address my filth?”

You scrunch your nose, and that’s all the answer he needs. He chuckles a little and sets the singular washcloth aside. It already has smudges of who knows what just from him handling it.

“Tell me what you propose, my Little Gem.” He has an easy smile and those dangerous, glittery eyes fixed onto you.

“I mean, if you’re too tired I could, you know, I wouldn’t mind getting you washed up.” You shrug as though it’s enough to offset your way too eager proposition.

“You believe my own efforts are inferior?” he teases. “My Little Gem needs to take matters into her own hands and not rely on the fates?”

“Well, you’re always talking about wasting water. Wouldn’t it be saving water if we showered together?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “You would forgo your hallowed soak just to bathe with me, Little Gem?”

“I’m way too gross to just get into a bath. It’d just be sitting in a pool of my own funk. This level of gross calls for a full on shower, I think.”

“And you’ll tend to me in there?” he purrs as he steps closer to you and curves his hands over your hips. The pungent tang of his body makes your nose scrunch again.

“Much to tend to, it seems,” he remarks in response to your overt repulsion.

You need to take Ezra up on his noncommittal commitment of getting into the shower with you before he changes his mind. You quickly concoct a plan to hold his attention and agreeability in the small shower. You grab the soaking oil you drizzle into your baths on especially achy days and prop it on the shower ledge. You start peeling off grimy, damp layers of clothing and nod to Ezra, who begins doing the same.

You cross the room to where you stow your accessories and extras and grab a few items to pin your hair back. The last thing you need is something getting in the way of you giving him a thorough scrub down. Ezra saunters after you like a cat on the prowl, eyes roaming greedily up and down. Before he can derail the entire enterprise, you slink into the shower and start the water.

The initially cool spray is a contrary sensation to the heat emanating from your skin, but it quickly warms to a soothing slip. The stall darkens as he steps inside, broad shoulders blocking out the light struggling to filter in through the expanse of him. His frame was a thickened amalgamation of corded musculature padded in the softened flesh of a satiating supper every evening. The work here kept him lean for the most part, but you much preferred this iteration of him – all brawn and lithe but with the markers of an untroubled life.

“It seems all displeasure with my hygiene is forgotten once I’m naked as the day I was born,” he murmurs low and self-satisfied.

You roll your eyes but know he’s correct. A lover as competent and enthusiastic as Ezra meant overlooking other personal drawbacks wasn’t too difficult. “I’m sizing up my work,” you protest.

“And what do you make of its sizing?” he purrs with a gentle roll of his hips against you.

You knew this was where things would go almost immediately, and yet you still had the nerve to be caught off guard. “Ezra,” you grit out. You guide him under the stream and tell him to stay put while you grab the stack of washcloths you’ll need.

Upon your return you note the ashen brown water falling from him and circling the drain. “I must admit–” he says through the water rushing over him. Your eyes catch the flex of his biceps as he raises his arms up to work the water through his hair and scalp. “–There is something quite divine about the ritual. All sins washed away. A clean slate. A pure soul ready to be defiled once again. Isn’t that right, Little Gem?”

“What?” you mumble absentmindedly, too preoccupied on ogling the trail of water snaking down his torso and into the thicket of brown coarse hairs below his waist.

He only grins with a devious slant to his mouth and pulls you under the spray with him. His hands wander across your body in a lazy exploration. The only thing keeping you from abandoning your task altogether and just letting him take you right there in the shower is the persistent odor still clinging to him, now taking on a damp quality that only heightens the earthy grub and grit components within.

“Take a seat on the ledge, Ezra.”

He gropes the curve of your ass and presses a few kisses to the column of your neck before complying. “I’m at your disposal.” He spreads his arms open, inviting the work and focus of your hands on him.

You avoid looking at his half hard cock bobbing gently with every movement and soap up the first cloth. You try to avoid the snare of his gaze as you begin scrubbing his face, but he catches you with it as you lather through his beard. The corner of his mouth pulls up, an instant reassurance that he knows exactly the effect he has on you.

His face is a brighter, pinker vision once you rinse it, and it solidifies your resolve to scrub every inch of this man while he’s indulging your whim. His hands roam up and down your legs as you scratch and scour his hair. The fragrance of the soap combined with the purged dirt fills the space. You move to your hands and knees and start scrubbing from toe to knee then thigh to groin. He surprisingly doesn’t make too much of a fuss, which is good considering it takes three separate washcloths to get that section entirely cleaned.

“Surely I’ve indulged your caretaking long enough to have earned a different kind of corporeal attention?” He leans forward and noses at your neck and earlobe, and your body shivers despite the warm rush of water trailing down your back.

“Grab that bottle to your left,” you order as you start scrubbing down his torso. Your breath catches when your wrist bumps into his fully hardened, weeping cock, and you catch the curve of a smirk playing on his mouth. He holds up the unlabeled bottle and gives it a questioning shake. 

“An aphrodisiac?” His eyebrow cocks in devilish curiosity.

“Bath oil,” you snort. “You can, um, put some on me while I’m working on you. You know, just so it has time to soak in before I wash up, too. If you don’t mind.”

His eyes narrow and pull the edge of his mouth upward. He sees right through you, just like he always does. “Here I was thinking my purest Little Gem wouldn’t resort to such lowly deceit and bribery.” He pops the cap of the bath oil open and drizzles a moderate amount into his hand before setting the bottle aside again. He’s clearly amused with the ruse you’ve concocted, but unfettered exploration of your body is apparently a bribe he’s willing to accept.

“Resume your venture to free me from all the remnants of my labors,” he obliges.

“You know, you could just say ‘keep scrubbing me because I know I still smell’, Ez.”

He grins and raises his hands until they hover above your chest, little trickling lines of oil falling onto the slope of your breasts and dripping down slowly. You push your tongue against the back of your teeth to keep yourself grounded. If Ezra decided to start toying with you, you didn’t stand a chance at resisting his efforts.

You slather his arms from wrist to shoulder and work your way to his torso. Meanwhile he grazes a slick finger against your nipples in a ghost of a touch that has you subconsciously chasing his hand. You finish underneath each of his armpits, and, just when he’s behaved himself long enough to catch you off guard, he flicks one of your nipples hard with the edge of a fingernail. A shaky gasp of sharp pleasure flies from your throat quickly followed by a second one when he does it to the other side.

“See to my hindparts, won’t you?” he solicits with a deceptively innocent expression.

You clench your teeth together and take a step forward so you can reach over his shoulders and wash his back. He dips his head and takes as much of your breast into his mouth as he can and suctions with as much strength as he can exert. You yelp and attempt to release the clutch of his mouth from your sensitive bud, but he only sucks harder with a satisfied groan. His arms circle around each of your legs and cause you to lose your footing, which he uses as a distraction to switch sides.

Little pinpricks of purple have cropped up in a bloom of red from where he already sucked, and the force of his pull now promises no different for the other side. He loved to do this to you – get you off kilter, overstimulated, and seeking out more, often all at once. Your breaths come out whiny as he latches and pulls on your nipples and tissue.

“Ez,” you gasp. “I’m–I have to–to finish.”

He grips the flesh of your ass and pulls one cheek aside so that he can deftly push a thick fingertip into your puckering rim. It glides in with no resistance, and you almost think the oil wasn’t even necessary with how much you ached for him to fill you there. He pulls away just enough to disorient you with his intoxicating diction.

“Perhaps before our wash is complete, you’ll be beseeching me just to feel the breadth of me cleaving you apart,” he husks. “Nearly weeping for me to bury my cock in this hole just as you did only two nights ago.”

 “It feels good,” you mewl weakly. 

He hums low and gravelly in agreement as he resumes his ministrations on your breasts. The tip of his finger plunges shallow, a slow in and out, and you know it’s just to tease you for what you won’t get until you are begging him for it. You think that he must revel in the sway he has over you when he so fervently succumbs to you. There’s something so raw and vulnerable in the way he cannot deny his devotion and attachment to you, and so he must have some part of you in the same way as to not feel entirely powerless.

You’re panting despite exerting very little energy at the moment. “I-I really need to finish washing you u—”

He pops off with a loud smack and abruptly stands. He crowds you against the corner and props a foot up on the ledge, caging you in with his cock right at your eye level. Your hands rush with a washcloth and soap, now more greedy to feel him than cleanse him. You lather his entire groin area and resist the urge to lick up the beads of precum dribbling from his ruddy tip. Your eyes keep traveling up to meet his where he watches down on you with an almost omnipotent, divine consideration.

The last washcloth falls to the shower floor, and Ezra slowly walks backward into the water to rinse himself. It’s probably just a trick of the mind, but you swear he appears less hazy than usual with all the grime cleared from him. Your mouth is slack as you watch from your hands and knees on the shower floor, impossibly cramped into the corner of the small space. He smiles down at you. You know how much he loves seeing you on your knees in front of him.

Without a word, he moves the shower head to the side so that it pelts against the tile instead of spraying down on you both before turning around and hitching his other leg up on the ledge. He braces himself on the wall and the wobbly metal and glass door on the other side.

“Reap the benefits of your work, Little Gem,” he says over his shoulder.

You frantically douse your hand with a generous dab of the bath oil and walk on your knees until your mouth is flush against the cleft of his ass. A strangled whimper ekes out of him as you reach a hand between his legs and stroke his neglected cock with the slippery pull of the oil. You entrench your face into him until your flicking tongue delves into his asshole. You massage and prod into it, eyes rolling back when you feel how it clenches in delight at your motions.

Ezra turns again to face you now with what can only be described as a wild, hungry look in his eye. He takes the neatly stacked pile of used washcloths and tosses them onto the floor. You have no time to question his motives because he’s grabbing the bottle of oil and squeezing globs of it onto your breasts, barely returning the bottle to its place on the shelf before he’s massaging them and awkwardly shoving his cock between them and rutting against their pillowy, fleshy tightness.

“Shit,” he hisses. “That ass. That asshole of yours. These tits.” He sounds pained just trying to speak. His face screws up as he fucks between them, moaning appreciatively when you use your hands to press them closer together for him to fuck.

“You like my tits?” you ask a little breathlessly.

He makes a noise of great effort, eyes pinching shut at your goading question. He frees his cock and takes the flat of his hand to slap against your peaked buds. You cry out in pleasure at the sharp, blissful sting. “Bet I could make you come for me just like this. Couldn’t I, Little Gem?” he grits.

“Y-Yes,” you moan.

He makes some unhinged noise and slaps against your breasts in quick succession, barking out an order for you to touch yourself, and teeth glinting in the light with a manic grin as you climax. He starts fisting his length over your face, breaths coming fast and heavy.

“Open wide now,” he pants as he tugs his cock faster. The tip of it knocks against your lip, and you open wider with your tongue jutting flat and spread out for him to cover.

“Just like that Little Gem,” he rasps. “Hold it open and drink me.”

A few short strokes is all it takes before he’s moaning and erupting all over your face and mouth, the hot, thick bands of his spend sticking to your skin wherever they land. He doesn’t stop jerking himself until every last drop is spent. When he’s finally done, he smears his softening cock against your face, collecting his cum in sloppy swipes.

“Now look who is soiled, Little Gem,” he hums. “Clean up the mess you’ve made.” He watches you with half-lidded eyes and a heaving chest. “Wouldn’t want to leave things filthy, would you?”

You oblige and take him into your mouth, sucking and licking until every trace of his spend has been swallowed.

[aziraphales-library]

Thank you so much for all that you do! I've found so many good fics from your recommendations ♥️

Do you know of any that involve Crowley being homeless or otherwise seriously struggling financially? Thank you!

I have read one with this theme, Divine Restorations and Repairs, so I'd love to rec that too! It's fantastic.

We have some fics in which Crowley is struggling financially here. And I've got a few more in which Crowley has problems with money/housing...

Copper and gold by Joseph_Amadeus (M)

Aziraphale doesn't pick up hitchhikers but he can't help himself when he sees Crowley getting steadily wetter in the rain one night.

Be Still My Soul: The Romance by MirjamOmens (E)

It’s the summer of 1917 in the Grand Duchy of Finland. The Great War rages over Europe, and the empire of Russia, of which Finland is still part, has suffered a revolution. For Azirafel Fjäll, a minor landowner and a shop runner, all these things are only mildly annoying inconveniences. His dear friend, Anton J. Crowley, is not as fortunate. The working-class people struggle to make a living in a world where there's a constant shortage of food, fuel and work. Despite their class differences, Azirafel and Anton have been friends since childhood--and both secretly yearn for more. Can their two hearts find each other as their country heads from one crisis to another? Or will the ever widening gap between their worlds keep them apart?

Sharp Objects by ElderlySardine (M)

Back in the mid-nineties, Aziraphale and Crowley had it all. They were friends, lovers, soulmates. Life was hard, but as long as they were together it didn't matter. Then in one catastrophic fight caused by Aziraphale's cruel, coercive brother Gabriel, the whole thing came crashing down. The boys parted company for good. Now it's 2021. Life has spun Crowley and Aziraphale in very different directions before throwing them back together at their lowest ebb. Can they manage to hide their history from their new friends? Can they forgive each other, and themselves? Could there possibly still be something there between them? And with Gabriel still lurking on the horizon, will they be strong enough to do anything about it?

The Ghost of Husbands Past by A_N_D (E)

Az always knew that he’d be thrown out the moment his father found out he was gay. He hadn’t expected to be declared dead though - or for his husband to believe it! But their marriage had been a foolish teenage impulse (not to mention invalid in America), so when Az moved to a small town far upstate New York to start his new life, he moved alone. The kindest thing he could do was let Crowley mourn and move on, not be shackled for life to a now disabled partner. Tony Crowley never recovered from losing his best friend, his childhood sweetheart, his better half. He’d been drifting ever since; no plans, no hope, no money - and now, just before Thanksgiving, no job either. Given the stark choice of freezing to death or accepting his sister’s invitation to join her upstate, Tony reluctantly lives out the Hallmark cliche of Recently Unemployed Person Moves to Small Town for Christmas. It’s a time of hope, love, and family. It’s time for Az and Tony to find each other again.

Magpie by southdownsraph (E)

Ezra has just been hired as a bartender at an underground LGBT nightclub to help supplement his income while he studies for his master’s, and he can’t help but become infatuated with one of the performers, an exotic dancer who goes by the name AJ.

And the one you mentioned...

Divine Restorations & Repairs by skimmingthesurface, SylWritesStuff (E)

While it's unfortunate for one’s car to break down in the middle of the countryside, the pretty-as-a-postcard Tadfield could hardly be considered the worst place Anthony J. Crowley has ever been. Of course, it doesn’t help that it looks like it hasn’t yet seen the turn of the millennia, let alone this decade, but perhaps that’s just what he needs as he crawls his way out of the Hell he’s endured for the past fifteen years. Maybe the last thirty, if he's honest with himself. Though he could do without the rain. When Aziraphale Fell happens upon him and offers him shelter from the storm in his little family-run antique repair shop, neither are expecting it to change everything. The angel with his white umbrella and his tartan bowtie doesn’t expect this mysterious stranger to be able to fill the timely vacancy in his shop or the quiet of his life, but they’ve both had experience in restoring once-beloved items back to their full glory. Perhaps Crowley hasn’t fallen quite so far that he wouldn’t fit in with the rest of Aziraphale’s ragtag team of eccentric restoration experts. And perhaps they may be able to turn that talent on themselves and each other, and seal the cracks in their own hearts.

- Mod D

[afictionaladventure16]

Reader being Pedro’s co-star (maybe along Bella in TLOU or if not in another show/film) and him basically taking her in after finding out she’s not being well taken care of in her home, so he becomes her surrogate dad

It's Gonna Be Okay (Pedro Pascal x Teen!Reader)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Word Count: 5,091

A/N: I may have took this request and ran with it.... but uhhhh I hope this is somewhat what you least expected... enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of neglect and abuse.

If it were up to you, you wouldn’t have taken up acting when you were younger. You were forced into it at a young age, it was so you could help pay bills because your father was on disability and your mother didn’t want to give up her position as a housewife. You eventually fell in love with acting, being able to just escape your life and family and just be someone completely different. 

You’d had been getting bigger roles now that you were older. At only age fourteen, you had gotten many roles in shows and movies. You were proud of yourself. Someone had to be. You were currently working on another film after just finished working on the Prospect, which starred Pedro Pascal as Ezra. You played Cee, a girl who is traveling planets with her father. This film you were starring in now was a small indie film, which had been something different than what you usually worked on. That didn’t mean that you didn’t like it, you liked the challenge. 

You walked into your trailer after shooting a couple of scenes. Your mom was on the phone with god only knows who. For the longest, you wished your relationship with your parents was better. You wished they could be proud of you and that maybe they did this because they wanted a better life for you. But that wasn’t the case, they were only thinking for themselves. 

Your mom hung up the phone, “your father and I were thinking about buying a new house.” 

“We just bought a house,” you stated as you began to undress from your wardrobe for your character and into some regular clothes. 

“Well, I think we could use something new. Plus with the money you made from your previous role, we can afford it?” 

You let out a deep sigh, “but that’s my money, shouldn’t I have a say?” 

“Your money? Sweetie, it’s our money.” 

“I was the one who did all the work, my name is on the checks!” 

“Don’t raise your voice at me, you know the money goes to an account that has me and your father as the trustees.” You couldn’t take it anymore. You’ve taken it for years and years, them using you to get money and you knew eventually you would be left with nothing. 

“It’s my money, that money is supposed to be left untouched.” 

Your mom let out a deep breath, “Well, it’s the least you could do for all we do for you.” 

“All you do for me? What? Sit around and not do anything!?”

She began to rub her temples, “sometimes I wish I never had you,” she spat. 

“If you hate me so much then why did you ever have me?” You asked, tears beginning to well up in your eyes.

“We had you because we thought you could fix us!” 

“So what I’m just some kid you have when your marriage is falling apart? So if that doesn’t work you can blame the kid? You were better off getting a dog!” 

“Maybe we were better getting a dog! At least the dog would listen and be more appreciative! And you know what? You shouldn’t even be talking to me like that, I am your mother!” 

“Barely! I only see you when it’s convenient! All I am to you is an ATM!” 

“You are so ungrateful, you have no idea what we do so you could be some superstar!” 

“You didn’t do shit! I did this! I walked myself to auditions! I took the bus to film locations! I did it!” You yelled, allowing yourself to finally yell out everything you had been holding back. 

“Fuck this,” she said as she walked away to grab her bag. 

“I’m not going home,” you said. 

“Ni te quiero ahi de todos modos,” (I don’t want you there anyway) she hissed as she walked out of the trailer. You didn’t know where you could go if you couldn’t go home. If you could even call that place home. 

You felt the warm tears make their way down your cheeks, and you were quick to wipe them away, “I don’t need them,” you said to yourself. You grabbed your backpack of essentials, you usually carried it around because it was stuff you needed for before and after shoots and now it was convenient because you couldn’t go home. 

When you walked out of your trailer, almost everyone had gone home for the night. Most of the shooting took place in Los Angeles which was where more than half the cast and crew lived. The others rented places to live in until the end of the shoot. 

You didn’t know where to go, but your feet seemed to lead you the way to the bus stop. It was almost like you were on autopilot to the only place you knew you’d welcomed. 

Once you had gotten on the bus, you noticed dark clouds beginning to cover the sunset sky. Usually, you would be happy to see that it was about to rain, but since you were stuck in a bus and would eventually have to walk the rest of the way to your destination, you were feeling the opposite to see the clouds. 

You had ridden the bus for a good twenty minutes, this was one of the routes you got to know over the past couple of months since filming. You’d ride the bus for twenty minutes and then walk the rest of the way, which was another twenty minutes. 

It only sprinkled during the walk to your destination. But it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. The whole walk to the neighborhood, you couldn’t help but wonder what life could have been if maybe your parents actually cared. What will life become if this continued? You couldn’t handle the way they treated you as if you were just an employee, you yearned for that feeling of being loved by your parents. 

You couldn’t quite remember when exactly it started, you thought it could’ve been when your dad got injured at work, but even then you felt it was before that. You admit, that the words your mother said hurt. You were only created to fix their marriage and even that couldn’t fix it because it was obvious to everyone that it was falling apart day by day. 

Once you had gotten to the neighborhood, you were glad that they didn’t live in a gated community or else this walk would’ve been for nothing. You ran the rest of the way to the house, running up the steps, and knocking on the door. 

You stood in silence for a few seconds until the door opened, “Y/N? What are you doing here?” Pedro asked in shock, “Mija, you’re all soaked, get in.” Pedro pulled you into the house, before running off to grab you a towel. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve called,” you began to say. 

He chuckled, “Yeah, I could’ve gotten you a ride.” 

That was true, but part of you just wanted to be left alone. “Sorry,” you said again. 

Pedro wrapped the towel around you, “Take your shoes off, make yourself at home.” You never understood that phrase, maybe because you never knew what a home should feel like. You cleared your throat as you took your shoes off, placing them by the door. You followed Pedro into the living room, “You came just in time, I was gonna start a movie marathon…” Pedro looked over at you standing by the couch. “Pues, mija sit down.” 

“I don’t want to ruin the couch,” you gestured to your wet clothes. Pedro could care less if you got his couch a little wet, but he probably thought you felt uncomfortable in wet clothes. 

“Hold on,” he said as he ran up to one of the rooms. He came down a few minutes later, “I remembered one of my little cousins left some of their clothes here the last time they came to visit. These pajama pants should fit and I have one of my old Fleetwood mac tees here.” He handed you the clothes, giving you a grin. 

“Thanks,” you said with a smile. 

“You know where the bathroom is,” he gestured towards the hallway. This wasn’t your first time in Pedro’s house, in fact, you came over to his house pretty often. Since being in the Prospect together, you have developed a strong bond with Pedro. You still hung out with him whenever he was in town and you even went to visit him in New York a few times. This house has become like a home to you, a true home. One in which you could actually be yourself, when you came here you never wanted to go to the one where your parents were. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t as surprised to see you, just more surprised you didn’t call him. You quickly changed in the bathroom, and when you walked back out to the living room, Pedro had microwaved some popcorn. He pats the spot next to him for you to sit down. 

You rolled your eyes and sat down beside him, “What are we watching?” 

“I’ll tell you if you tell me what’s going on,” he asked in a serious tone. 

You sighed, “don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Do your parents know you're here?” 

“All they know is that I’m not home and they’re happy with that,” you picked up some popcorn and began eating. 

“Now why would you say that?” At this point he turned the T.V. off, giving you his full attention. 

“My mom and I got into this big argument,” you said, hoping he would drop it and you could just go back to ignoring the situation. 

“About?” But part of you knew he wasn’t going to just drop it. Pedro was a good listener and for some reason, he had done more for you in the little time he has known you, than your parents ever have. 

“Money,” you began, not even trying to hold it in anymore, maybe he could help you do something about it. “They’ve been spending everything I’ve earned like it’s no tomorrow and now I’m scared that that’s all they care about.” 

“What?” Pedro sat up, “They can’t do that, it’s your money,” he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he knew he had to be somewhat illegal. 

“I know,” You sighed, “but they're my parents” 

“Mija, they signed a contract. Only a certain percentage of that money goes to an account that they could spend for you, the rest has to go to a savings account for you.” 

“It’s all in one account,” you responded. “I don’t know what to do, I’m too young to get emancipated, and even then… I have no other family I can stay with.” 

Pedro got up, he knew he had to talk to someone about this, maybe one of the directors or even your manager. He just knew this wasn’t right. He grabbed his phone from the counter, Pedro hesitated for a second, what was he doing? The choices he made right now could change your life either for the better or for the worse. 

He went into his contacts, tapping on his phone a few times before pressing it to his ear, “Pedro?” You called out, walking in the direction he went. “What are you doing?” You asked as soon as you saw him. 

Before he could respond to you, someone had picked up, “Hello?” 

“Chris,” he began, your eyes widen, you couldn’t believe he had called your manager, you had forgotten that they had been good friends. “It’s Pedro.” 

“Pedro, what are you doing?” 

Pedro didn’t respond to you again, “Pedro, what’s up?” 

“Any chance you can come by my place? Y/N is here and we have something to talk to you about.” 

“Um, yeah, I can be there in like thirty minutes, sound good?” 

“Yeah, see you then,” Pedro hung up the phone, looking over at you, “It’s  gonna be okay.” 

“How do you know that?” 

He sighed, “because I’ll be there to help you, okay? You’re not alone, Y/N. Do you trust me?” You didn’t trust a lot of people, but Pedro was one of the few you did trust. He had shown you that you could trust him time and time again. You gave him a small nod. He smiled softly at you, “you hungry?” 

“I don’t think I can eat at a time like this,” you said nervously. Pedro understood he didn’t think he could eat either, but he knew it was rude to not offer. 

When Chris arrived, Pedro did most of the talking. You sat on the couch, nodding every once in a while or talking when things needed more clarity. But for the most part, Pedro was your advocate and you were content that you didn’t have to deal with it. Chris was overwhelmed with the information he was given, but he knew what to do in these kinds of situations. 

“I can get you a lawyer,” he began, “but I’m letting you know now, it’s gonna get messy. We’ll have to find a family for you to stay with-” 

“I have no other family,” you confessed. 

“Well, they might have you-” 

“She can stay with me,” Pedro blurted out. “If she’s able to.” 

“It’s possible. We’d just have to provide evidence that temporary guardianship is needed in this case,” Chris stated. 

“I have evidence,” you began, “just do whatever is needed and I can provide the evidence.” 

Chris sighed, “alright. I’ll keep in touch and It’s probably best if Y/N goes home tonight.” 

“My mom told me not to come home.” 

Chris glanced at Pedro before looking at you, he didn’t know what to say, “then I guess you’ll stay with Pedro for the night.” He didn’t say anything else before leaving. 

“You think it’ll work?” you asked Pedro, he had sat down next to you once Chris had left. 

“I like to think it will,” he gave you a reassuring smile before pulling you to his side. 

“Did you really mean it?” you asked, receiving a confused look from Pedro. “When you said I could stay with you.” 

“Of course I meant it,” he said. “You’re like a daughter I’ve never had, in just a few months we’ve known each other you have brought me so much joy and I have to admit, seeing you shoot your scenes, makes me feel so proud.” 

You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes. Someone who didn’t even know you for your whole life was proud of you, more than your parents ever could be. “What’s wrong?” Pedro asked as he wiped away a tear off your cheek that had managed to escape. You shook your head, “Something has to be bothering you, muñeca, what is it?” 

You let out a shaky breath, “it’s just… I wish my parents could say that they’re proud of me. I wish they could at least act like they loved me.” 

“Oh, mija,” he cooed. 

“You know what my mom said to me today?” you sniffled, “she said that they only had me because they thought I would help make their marriage work. What kind of person says that to their own kid?” You let out a soft sob, “Do I even matter to them? To anyone?” 

Pedro held you tight, “you matter to me.” He placed a small kiss on your temple, “they may say all these awful things but you are here for a reason.” 

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Sure.” 

“I’m serious, Y/N. You’re like a daughter to me and I believe you were brought onto this earth to shine some joy into my life,” he gave you a reassuring smile. “Okay?” You gave him a nod, “Now let’s watch our movie marathon, we’ll worry about everything else tomorrow.” 

You laid your head on Pedro’s lap, watching as the opening credits began to play on the screen, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything was going to be okay. When you woke up that morning you didn’t imagine this was how you were going to end your day, but then again, no one ever really imagines how they would really end their day. 

You wondered if you’d need to move out and if so, how would everyone take it? Did that really matter? No, it didn’t. You know Pedro said he’d take you in, but would he be true to his word? You couldn’t help but think about all these intrusive thoughts, all you wanted to do was watch the damn movie, but your mind was so loud. 

The next day came and no word from Chris. You went back onto the set, your mother was there too. You played your best role yet, the obedient daughter. You sat and listened to your mother as she lectured you for not coming home last night, even though she had told you not to. 

Days went by and only one call from Chris, he was working on it. That’s all he said. You visited Pedro a few times before he went back to New York. 

Then weeks went by and eventually you finished filming. You hated when you weren’t filming, it meant you had to go home and spend most of your time there. 

It wasn’t until a month after the whole talk with Chris was when your parents received the knock at the door. You were at the kitchen table when your mother answered the door, you could hear the shock in her voice when the gentleman said the four magical words, “You have been served.” 

Your head the door shut, and the smile on your face only lasted a few seconds before it was met with anxiety. You heard the sounds of the envelope being torn apart and then complete silence. You were beginning to regret everything that had just happened, maybe it was just all a big mistake. Suing your parents was a big deal, accusing them of stealing was another big deal. 

You heard footsteps inching closer to where you sat. Then silence. You looked up at your mother standing at the doorway, It was at that moment you knew that it was probably best that she was served the papers when you weren’t there. Because up until that moment, you had thought that all your mother would do was mentally and verbally abuse you, or steal from you. 

“You bitch,” she spat as she threw the papers onto the table, “after everything we did for you!” She smacked her hand across your face, your hand instantly touching the spot she had slapped. “This is how you repay us!?” 

You felt tears well up in your eyes, you got up from your seat to leave but your mother quickly blocked your way, “move.” 

“This is how you repay us?” She asked again. You remained silent, not daring to look at her. It was all quick, her hand on your throat pushing you against the wall, “I’m asking you a question!” Her grip was strong, you scratched at her hand, hoping that it would pain her enough to let go. 

It felt like you were against the wall for minutes. Her phone began to ring, allowing you to break free. You fell to your knees as you attempted to catch your breath. “Leave,” she began. “No te quiero ver en esta casa nunca mas, no me importa donde vas.” ( I don’t want to see you in this house anymore, I don’t care where you go) You remained silent as you got up from the floor, “Me oiste?” You didn’t say anything again as you grabbed your phone from the kitchen table. “I asked you a question!” 

“Yes! I fucking heard you!” You yelled. 

Your reflexes weren’t quick, maybe it was because you were still trying to recover from being choked, or maybe it was because your nerves were everywhere. You weren’t quick enough to dodge your mother's fist, and you stumbled back. Quickly covering your eye, you groaned as you felt it throbbing. 

Your mother shook her hand, “Leave before I do something I’ll regret.” 

“You’re fourteen years too late for that,” you muttered. 

“Eres una disgracia, no eres mi hija. Quiero que todos que sepan que no tengo hija.” (You’re a disgace, not a daughter. I want everyone to know I don’t have a daughter) she muttered as you walked out of the room. You walked into your bedroom, and quickly looked at the damage to your eye, it didn’t look too bad but you knew it would bruise, not to mention the red marks on your neck. You couldn’t worry about it right now, you had to pack what was important and the essentials. As looked around your room, you couldn’t think of anything you wanted to take, just things you needed. 

As you began to pack things, you decided to call Pedro, it had only rang a few times before he answered, “Hey, Y/N! I was just about to call you,” He began to say. “I was gonna surprise you, but I might as well just tell you, I’m in LA! I have an interview tonight an-” he had rambled on, but you had to interrupt, or else he wouldn’t have stopped. 

“I need you to pick me up,” you cut him off. 

Pedro went silent for a moment, “Everything okay?” 

“My mom just got served, Pedro.” 

“Shit,” he mumbled, “I was hoping they’d tell me before they did anything, that way…” Pedro hesitated, he didn’t want to think about what could have happened. “are you okay?” he asks instead. 

“Can you please pick me up?” You asked shakingly. 

“Of course, Mija, I’ll be there right away, okay?” He said. 

“Don’t hang up,” you pleaded. 

Pedro’s heart sank, he could hear how torn you were, “okay, I won’t hang up.” You could hear car keys jingling on the other side of the phone, “I’m gonna connect the Bluetooth to my car, okay?” 

“Okay,” you had zipped up the last of your stuff into one of your suitcases. 

Pedro stayed silent for a few seconds, “are you still there?” 

“I’m here,” you said. You began to make your way out of your room, and you spotted your mother still in the kitchen, phone pressed against her ear. You walked out of the house, without saying another word to her. You didn’t know how your father would react and you didn’t want to know. “I’m outside,” you said into the phone. 

“I’m only a few minutes away.” 

It felt more than a few minutes, it felt like hours. You stood at the driveway, anxious that you wouldn’t leave in time, you wanted to make sure you weren’t home when your father got there. 

“I’m down the street,” Pedro announced. 

You quickly spotted his car and you ended the call once he was close enough. Pedro parked at the curb, quickly getting out to help you put your stuff in the car. Before you could get in, he grabbed your arm, placing a hand on your face, “Mija,” he began as he noticed the marking on your neck and the swelling of your eye. “Did they do this to you?” 

“Let’s go,” you pleaded. He sighed, he knew you were anxious to get out of there. He glanced over at the house you had come out of as you got in the car, he closed the door for you before getting in the car. 

The car ride was silent, which was different. Usually, the car rides with Pedro were filled with music and laughter, but this time there was no music and no laughter. You stared out of the window for most of the ride. Once you got to the house, Pedro took your bags and you followed him inside. 

“I need to make a phone call,” He informed you as he walked into his office. 

You walked over to the window, looking out at the scenic view. Were you making a big mistake? Was he beginning to realize it? 

You did the right thing, right? 

You took charge of your life and you did the right thing, right? Even if it feels completely wrong and you feel so much guilt. Is it wrong to feel a little relief? Usually, relief meant a good thing, so did this mean it was a good thing?

You felt something on your shoulder, you jolted a bit at the sudden touch. 

“Sorry,” Pedro apologized. You calmed down when you realized it was him, “I was on the phone with Chris and the lawyer.” 

“What they say?” 

“Well, I told them what happened and the lawyer is attempting to get an emergency temporary custody agreement from the judge so you could stay with me. He said he’ll be coming over to take pictures for evidence, but for now…” He sighed, “are you okay?” you shook your head. You didn’t need to say anymore, Pedro pulled you in for an embrace and you allowed yourself to feel everything. 

For once you felt like you were able to feel everything without feeling guilty for doing so or even wrong to think such horrible things. But now that the truth has come to light, you were able to feel. 

In most cases, this process would have taken days, but somehow the lawyers your manager hired made the process go by fast. Within a couple of hours, Pedro received the call that he was able to get temporary custody, but that’s all it was. Temporary. Eventually, you would have to go to court and maybe end up in foster care, but you didn’t want to think about that now. 

“Let me see,” Pedro said softly as he joined you on the couch once again, he had been making some phone calls for the past twenty minutes. “Fuck,” he said softly, “They really hit you pretty well.” 

“It hurts,” you groaned. 

“I know,” he had a frozen pack of peas in his other hand, along with a small towel. He wrapped the bag of peas in the towel before gently placing it on your eye, “leave this on for twenty minutes, then rest it.” You gave him a nod as you took a hold of the bag of peas. “You want to talk about it?” 

You shook your head, “not really.” 

“That’s fine,” he said, trying not to push you into talking. 

But that’s the thing, you wanted to talk about it. You wanted to cry it out, you just didn’t want to feel like a burden, especially not to him. Not after all he has done for you so far. 

Tears began to well up in your eyes, Pedro quickly took notice, pulling you back into an embrace. “I thought that I would be happier,” you cried. “They’ve always treated me so terribly and now that they’re no longer a part of my life… I don’t get it.” Pedro rubbed your back, “Why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like-” 

“Like you’ve lost your parents?” you nodded. 

“Even if they never acted like parents.” 

“I don’t know, grief is funny like that,” he said softly. “Some people don’t deserve to be parents, Y/N.” 

You took in a deep breath, “you know what she said when I left?” he hummed in response, “Quiero que todos se sepan que no tengo una hija.” Every girl needs a mother, you needed a mother, and you had one. You just didn’t have the one that was portrayed in movies or the ones that your friends had. And you were always envious of that. You wished you had a mother that truly loved you and took pride in being your mother. Maybe you didn’t understand, what it was like to be a mother, but you think you could. 

Because if you ever had a daughter, you knew you would love that person unconditionally without hesitation. So, why couldn’t she? 

Pedro couldn’t understand it because like you if he had a daughter or even a son. He would love them unconditionally, just like he had tried to do with you. Like he was doing with you. Right now there was a hurting child in his arms and all he could think to do was comfort them even if he was fighting everything inside him to go punch your parents. He knew what he had to do at that moment, he had to comfort you because you needed him. 

He kissed your temple, “She doesn’t deserve such a beautiful, intelligent, talented daughter like you and it hurts that she can’t see what I see.” He leaned back from the embrace, holding your head in his hands. “Just because someone shares your DNA doesn’t mean that they are family. If there is anything you have shown me in the time I’ve known you, it’s how to be a father to someone who isn’t even my own kid.” 

You gave him a small smile as he wiped away a tear from your cheek with his thumb, “from here on out, we’re in this together, mija, okay?” you nodded.

Yeah, you really couldn’t understand it, but you didn’t have to because DNA didn’t mean they were truly your family. If there was anyone who actually knew you like the back of your hand, it was the man that was sitting beside you. The man who took time to be there for you when they couldn’t. 

The man who knew what to say on your bad days and what not to say, who knew your favorite foods and knew your pet peeves, just like a father would. He knew what time you should go to bed for you to be not grumpy in the morning and he knew what subjects in school you needed help in the most. 

And he mostly knew all of this in a short period of time. He spent time with you and not because he needed to, but because he wanted to. It didn’t take him long to create a bond with you and it didn’t take you long to consider him like a father. 

“Okay,” you said softly. The pain would only be temporary, you knew that and you allowed yourself to feel it. You were still nervous about the outcome of the future, but you knew you had a small support system and that was all you needed.

Pedro Pascal Taglist: @Sophieelizabeth01  @tracysnook  @cilliansangel  @change-the-world-someday  @graciegoeskrazy @oggystine93 @t-stark35 @twkobii @picklehat3r

To be added CLICK HERE

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 15

As much as I love the CC boys and all their friends it was time to show life outside them for a second. And Steve got his bitch back.

TW: for homophobic language (rando OC)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

*

Steve drove to school feeling lighter than he had in weeks. His parents were still shit but he had friends and people who would look out for him and wasn’t that just a surprise and a half.

He pulled into the parking lot and got out, Eddie pulling into the spot next to him. He had closed the door, pulling his backpack over one shoulder when Nancy and Jonathan appeared out of nowhere.

Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Steve said with a small smile. “I’ve got this. I’ll see you at lunch, okay.”

Eddie nodded and walked to class.

Steve turned back to see Nancy and Jonathan staring at him in shock. “How can I help you two?”

“Is everything okay?” she asked. “You’ve been missing a lot of school.”

Steve raised both eyebrows.

“We’re worried about you, man,” Jonathan said. “Especially after what happened with Miss Chen and your assignment.”

Steve sighed. He wanted to be mad at them but he couldn’t. They were worried he might be thrown in jail.

“That was straight up bullshit, by the way,” he growled. “I wasn’t going to show an actual demogorgon or make the characters even look like us. It was just a way to process the trauma. Because I don’t know about you two, but I can’t sleep at night. If it’s not waking up screaming, it’s not being able to go to sleep at all.”

Nancy and Jonathan shared a glance.

Jonathan sighed. “Yeah. It’s got be worse for you because Nancy has Mike and I have both my mom and Will...and well it’s pretty bad for him, too. But you’re all alone in that big house and you’re parents don’t know.” He made an aborted gesture of understanding.

“So we just wanted to check up on you,” Nancy explained, hugging her books to her chest.

Steve ran his hands over his face. “I’m just trying to move on. Make friends that aren’t bullies. That’s not to say you guys are or whatever. It’s just...I don’t want to be on high alert the rest of my life. I’m happy for the first in so long.”

Jonathan licked his lower lip slowly. “You don’t have to answer, but are you with Eddie?”

Steve’s head reared back. “What? How did you–”

He smiled softly, clapping him on the shoulder. “Good for you, man.”

Nancy just looked between them confused.

Jonathan kissed the top of her head. “I’ll explain later. We’ve got to get to class.” He waved at Steve. “See you around, man.” And led her into the school.

Well, shit.

Steve didn’t know how he felt about them knowing before Jeff and Gareth and the rest. But it was out of the bag now. And despite everything he’d been through with Jonathan he knew he wouldn’t tell anyone.

He sighed and made his way to the swimming pool to start morning practice.

*

Steve sat at the edge of the pool in his Speedo, just kicking his feet. Coach Hall came over.

“Hey, Harrington,” he said, crouching down. “Got word from Doc Martinez. You’re cleared for competition. He says your scans look good and as long as you don’t have a headache day of, you’re good to go.”

Steve grinned. “That’s great news, Coach. Do you think I could add butterfly back in or should stick to relay?”

Coach Hall smiled fondly. “Well, I know I would prefer my best butterfly swimmer back in, but...”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

Coach Hall patted his shoulder and he slipped into the pool. Ezra immediately swam over to meet him.

“Hey, what did Coach say?”

Steve told him and Ezra grinned. “Hell, yeah. It’s good to see you back, man. It was lonely without you.”

Steve laughed, pushing him away. “Get off, you loon.”

Ezra laughed with him and swam back to the other side of the pool. Steve pulled his goggles down over his eyes and dove beneath the water. Instantly the buzzing sounds inside his head calmed and he felt at peace.

This was where he belonged. He liked basketball, he was good at it. Baseball was fine, but he spent most of the game being bored. But this? This was bliss. Just him and the water.

He surfaced, taking a large breath. He heard the coach’s whistle and came over to the side with everyone else. He listened to the instructions and nodded.

Suddenly it was time to go wash up and change. He eyed the girls as they passed each other. The girls were coming in as the boys were leaving. All the girls were twittering and point at the guys as the guys leered back in turn. Steve didn’t feel the surge of attraction he did when he thought of Eddie up on that stage last night. There was no swooping of his belly, no heat further down.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, that was certainly something he hadn’t really considered. He had been expecting some kind of attraction. He had had sex with only girls, he had only been on dates with girls. But now that he had something to compare the feelings to...

It was heartbreakingly obvious that he was gay.

Shit.

Steve fretted over showering with the guys. But when he got there he realized that he automatically self-corrected and didn’t look. He never had. It had been a habit. One that he did even with the knowledge he was attracted to boys.

Huh.

That was quite the revelation.

*

Steve barely made it through his next two classes because he wanted to see Eddie so bad.

He grabbed his lunch and went to go sit down went got bumped into by one of his old baseball teammates.

He managed to hold on to the tray, but he growled, “Watch it, man.”

The boy looked him up and down. “I see you hang with the Freaks now, Harrington. You take it up the ass now, too?”

Steve eyes raked over him. “Why? You looking for a turn?”

The boy pushed him. “I’m not a fag like you, freak!”  

Steve sighed. He could feel almost every eye in the cafeteria on them. “Look,” he said, gripping the edges of the tray. “Doesn’t it get exhausting trying to prove something to these assholes?” He waved at their captive audience. “They don’t care about you or me. In six months, they won’t even remember our names.”

“Just because people have forgotten you, Harrington,” the boy growled, “doesn’t mean they’ll forget me, asshole.”

Steve laughed. “I think between the two of us, they’re more likely to forget you then me.” He leaned forward. “You want to know why? Because you haven’t forgotten me, dude. So what does that say about the rest of them?”

The kid sneered and stalked off.

Steve shook his head and then continued his trek to Eddie’s table. He sat down to eat, but after a moment he realized that they were all staring at him, wide-eyed and in shock.

“What?”

“Dude!” Jeff said, sitting back.

Brian nodded. “That was the most brutal verbal take down I’ve seen in a long time, man.”

“It was sick!” Gareth said gleefully.

Eddie stared at him, doe-eyed and fond. “I love you.”

The other three laughed.

Steve grinned back. “I know, I love you, too.”

Jeff, Brian, and Gareth all looked at each other, sharing shocked by happy faces.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!” Gareth said, bouncing almost out of his chair.

“When did you guys get together?” Jeff hissed, leaning forward so they weren’t overheard.

Eddie blushed. “This morning.” He ducked his head, shyly.

“Boom-chicka-wow-wow,” Brian teased. “Don’t think we didn’t notice that Eddie here was wearing Steve-o’s clothes.”

“Guys...” Steve protested, “it wasn’t like that. My parents came home and my dad was being he’s usual ass-self and Eddie stayed over to make sure I was okay.”

Jeff sighed. “Damn. Can’t tease you about that one.”

“But we can still tease you,” Gareth said with a grin, “about Eddie wearing designer jeans without a single rip or tear.”

Eddie looked down at his pants and cursed. “Shit. I didn’t think about that.”

“Ah yes,” Steve said dreamily. “Eddie’s aesthetic. Wouldn’t want to destroy that carefully maintained image.”

“Shut it, Harrington,” Eddie grumbled.

Steve laughed out loud. “I know it’s almost the end of the day or whatever,” he said digging into his backpack. “But you can use this to distress them.” He handed over a couple of sheets of sandpaper.

“Why do you have sandpaper in your backpack, dude?” Jeff asked.

“It’s for my art class,” Steve explained. “We have these little paper sticks we use to help with shading called smudge sticks and the only way to clean them is to rub them over sandpaper. Here, let me show you.”

He got out his drawing pad and a smudge stick, flipping to a drawing he was still working on. He began working the stick over the harsh pencil lines, smoothing them down.

‘That’s so cool,” Gareth said, leaning closer.

Steve held up the stick. “See how dirty it got?” Everyone nodded. And then Steve grabbed the sandpaper and rubbed the stick over it, making sure to turn the stick so he got all the sides. “Tada!”

“Huh,” Eddie said, “that is neat.”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah, well. So there you go, you have something to make the jeans more you.”

Eddie stared at him starry-eyed. “You are an absolute wonder, Steve Harrington.”

Steve just blushed and shook his head.

*

Steve got called to the office in his drama class saying that his mother was on the phone.

He sighed and reassured everyone that everything was fine. That she had promised to call and that’s all this was.

He didn’t tell them that the reason she was calling while Steve was in class is because she was in her layover in Paris, France.

He walked into the office and the secretary left him alone. Not because of who he was, but because of who his mother was.

“Hey, Mom,” Steve greeted.

“I’m sorry to pull out of class, love,” Mrs Harrington replied. “But our flight to France was delayed but our flight out of France was bumped up an hour and we only have forty minutes between flights now.”

He sighed. “That sucks. Were you able to get your luggage, okay?”

“We were, thank you, Steven,” she murmured. “I wanted to apologize for your father last night. You know how shouty he gets when he starts drinking. He never means the things he says.”

Steve closed his eyes. He thought that’s what this conversation was going to be about. What all their conversations were about. Nadia Harrington apologizing for whatever dickish thing her husband had done. It was one of the reasons his mother was so respected in town.

Dad would come tearing through making his mark, making himself the center of attention and then Mom would come behind and smooth away bad feelings.

“It’s okay, Mom,” he assured her. “I know what he’s like. But I really can’t quit drama. Or I won’t graduate.”

She sighed. “I know, dear. And I know you’re only doing your best. But he just has such high hopes for you. To start working his accounting firm, to follow in his footsteps.”

Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I’m just not good with numbers like he is.”

Mrs Harrington hummed. “We’ll figure something out, Steven.”

“We always do, Mom,” he agreed.

“I love you so, much,” she murmured. “But your father is giving me the stink eye.”

“Bye, Mom.”

Steve hung up the phone and sighed deeply into his hands. The secretary came out and smiled at him.

“It’s so nice of her to call you to check up on you,” she said cheerfully.

Steve stared at her blankly. There was no asking how he was. What he was doing. Who his new friends were. Just excuses for his dad. He forced a smile in return and then left to go back to class.

Nothing quite like a conversation with your mother to ruin your day, he sighed as he settled back into his group.

Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites @garden-of-gay @anaibis @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead  @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @jinxjinn @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @dangdirtydemons @lovelyscot  @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread estrellami-1

[morallyinept]

What a year it's been for fic writing!⭐️

There have been soooo many stories I've read and enjoyed this year, that's it's been super hard to pick favourites, and I've spent a good amount of time this year trying to narrow it down to just 25.

Listen, every single story I've read this year has been absolutely amazing. I am blown away by the sheer amount of talent and creativity we have in this fandom!

If you're not featured here on this particular list, it's not because I don't like your work or didn't enjoy it - far from it. I've simply put together a list of my personal favourites this year, based on how they made me feel, how often I re-read them, and some that have completely floored me.

And if you want more than just the 25 fic recs I've mentioned here, then please check out my Pedro Character Fav Fic Rec List where all the stories I've read/want to read and come across are featured. My TBR is through the roof, let me tell you, but it's a great problem to have!

And if your story isn't on my fic rec list, it's more than likely because I haven't found your work yet, so please yell at me to check it out! I'd absolutely love to!

Keep on writing, writers. You're all amazing!

So, without further ado, please find my top 25 Pedro Character Fics that I've really enjoyed reading this year! 🖤

☝️In no particular order, and includes a summary from the writer, where provided. Some series may still be ongoing. Please check the specific triggers/warnings on each story individually as some may not be suitable to your tastes:

• I Am Touchin', I Am Grabbin', Everything I Can't Be Havin' - @chronically-ghosted Dieter Bravo "A storm and a dead phone leaves you at the front door of your uncle’s mansion in LA. Thing is, you haven’t seen each other in over a decade and neither of you quite remember the other one looking like that. But what’s one night gonna do? Well, as it turns out – as Dieter spirals at a breaking point in his career and you’re so lost in life you can’t see up from down – a whole fucking lot."

• Rock Bottom Series - @ghostofaboy Frankie Morales "Frankie is spiraling after Tom’s death. Drugs lead to some unhealthy friendships, and too ashamed to reach out to his former teammates for help, Frankie is drawn into a world he’s afraid he can’t get out of."

• Palomino Series - @fuckyeahdindjarin Agent Whiskey "Unable to get a refund for a week-long horse-riding pack trip you’d booked with your ex, you decide to go solo. As it turns out, a rebound with a cowboy named Jack while traversing the wild landscapes of Wyoming might just be what you need."

• Stepwise @the-scandalorian Din Djarin "Requests for both soft and smutty touch-starved head canons spiraled out of control and became this."

• It Pours From Your Eyes - @the-blind-assassin-12 Joel Miller "Some things don't need to be said. Until they do."

• Transplant Series - @marisferasiop Joel Miller & Ezra "You are a resident and the only trained doctor in Jackson. You're bubbly and sweet, outgoing and friendly, and also in an unlabeled "situationship" with the town scrooge, Joel Miller. He won't say you're together, but he'll scare anyone else off. When Tommy drags back a half-dead man and girl from a patrol, you dutifully patch them up and help them settle into their new slotted house - across Rancher Street from yours and Joel's houses. Ellie and Cee get on like a bonfire, and when Joel sees how often you talk to your newest patient, his insecurities make him draw up and away from you. As you slowly give up on him and start something with Ezra, Joel's pining turns to frustration. Tommy convinces him to see if you'd be interested in being a throuple. Surprisingly, you and Ezra are both open to the idea. But can Joel's insecurities and possessiveness withstand such an arrangement? Or will the blow of another loss be what finally breaks him?"

• I'll Know It When I See It Series - @bageldaddy Joel Miller "It's the golden age of porn. Sex and sin are the national pastime. Your career in adult films starts opposite a man who goes by the name Texas."

• Compulsion Series - @iamskyereads Ezra "Beatrice is a Drifter, a member of that oft-maligned, enigmatic subsection of workers on Baylor Corporation’s long haul expeditions. Ezra is a man with flowery language and a dark past, but he plays guardian to a strong willed, soft spoken teenager. In a madcap scheme to steal precious gems from the corporation’s mining operations, Ezra and his ward, Cee, form a reluctant alliance with this lone Drifter."

• Left In Lincoln Series - @toxicanonymity Joel Miller "After you were orphaned by the Outbreak, Bill and Frank raised you, sheltered in their closed community. Now 21+, you're still inexperienced. They leave to get treatment for Frank and ask Joel to look in on you while they're gone. The town begins to creep you out, but Joel is glad to provide comfort and protection."

• Summer Schooled Series - @boliv-jenta Dave York & Joel Miller "Needing some cash before college, you start babysitting for Mr Miller and Mr York. When you decide to spend the summer teasing them. They decide you need to be taught some lessons."

• I Urge You, Bite Me - @netherfeildren Joel Miller "Sometimes love hurts like a split nail, and sometimes we like it like that. Sometimes Joel hurts like a split nail, you like him like that too."

• Sex Worker Frankie Series - @prolix-yuy Frankie Morales "Francisco “Catfish” Morales, a former sex worker at Pope’s escort service, takes on a final client and is met with something unexpected."

• Said The Spider To The Fly - @blueeyesatnight The Thief No summary provided by author, and I won't spoil it, however this is an awesome little fic which I urge you to check out if you haven't already!

• Catalyst Series - @ezrasbirdie Frankie Morales & Joel Miller "You've been nursing a crush on one of your closest friends, Frankie Morales, for a year now. At his 40th birthday party, you finally meet his new friend and neighbor, Joel Miller, who Frankie hasn't been able to stop talking about. You hit it off a little too well."

• Just A Piece - @palioom - Dave York "Dave only married you to keep his life as a hitman hidden. But when he comes home one day to you having cooked one of his childhood meals, he is doubting if he only married you out of necessity."

• This Charming Man - @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin Frankie Morales "Frankie’s wife kicks him out and files for divorce following a second trip to retrieve their money. He feels lost and hopeless until he meets someone new. He falls hard and fast for her. He’ll do anything to have her."

• Lemon Cakes & Lust - @thetriumphantpanda Oberyn Martell "Just a lowly kitchen girl, that’s all you were. A life of struggle behind you, masked by the facade of the palace. A tray of lemon cakes holds your fate with Prince Oberyn and you are only too happy to oblige his wanting of you."

• Headshots Series - @secretelephanttattoo Marcus Pike "You're a photographer and you get a job working for the FBI, taking corporate headshots."

• Starving Season Series - @wannab-urs Dave York "You and Dave York are two people with nothing left in this world. You find yourselves starving for each other, trying to fill whatever void you each have in yourselves."

• Akrasia - @sp00kymulderr Ezra "Ezra quarantine smut that focuses much less on the lockdown and much more on the smut."

• Sequins - @trulybetty Joel Miller "On a night out with friends, you run into a broad-shouldered stranger and there's no denying that there's an immediate attraction between the two of you."

• Kill Shot Series - @magpiepills Ezra "A lonesome prospector comes face to face with a dangerous stranger. What happens when you can’t resist his charm?"

• Send In The Clown - @covetyou Dieter Bravo "You lose your scarf on a visit to the carnival. Send in Dieter Bravo - washed up actor turned circus clown."

• Precious Possessions Series - @exquisiteserotonin Dave York "Work conferences were supposed to be boring. A meeting with a mysterious man sets your life on a very different trajectory."

• Rumour Has It Series - @senorabond Marcus Pike & Javier Pena "You've recently transferred from a promising job in D.C. to Texas when DEA Special Agent Javier Peña approaches you with his current case. Rumor has it you have an in with the FBI art crimes unit, and the DEA could use your skills and connections on a suspected narcos money laundering case. You need to do well on this case to prove yourself, but you're not sure Marcus Pike will even help after the way you left."

Thank you so much to all the writers for writing such amazing stories this year!

⭐️And as a bonus, I've picked a fic from my own writing that I feel is my absolute favourite piece that I've written this year:

The Pit - Ezra - "Ezra and you stumble into an ominous pit on a prospecting mission for coveted azure diamonds on the Narillan moon, and find more than you bargain for."

🖤

PEDRO CHARACTER FAV FIC REC MASTERLIST

[wannab-urs]

March Fic Madness 24 Masterlist

The goal was to read and reblog 63 fics in the month of March. I messed with the rules a bit and, instead of adding each chapter I read or any masterlists I reblogged, I only included fics I've read most if not all of.

Thanks to @the-blind-assassin-12 for organizing this challenge!

Current count: 63/63

Fics I read in their entirety + reblogged

Dave York

Constellations in his eyes by @janaispunk

The Mess of Us and What Love Means by @ravensmadreads

Dieter Bravo

Fare Well, A Poor Plan to Confess, and Brick House by @nerdieforpedro

Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered and Vampire!Dieter by @chronically-ghosted 

Conversation Pit by @thosewickedlovelies

Working Title by @rhoorl

The One and Purple Haze by @schnarfer

House Arrest by @rulexofxnines

The Howler Monkey by @covetyou

On the Verge of a Usual Mistake and The Blossoms We Wear by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Din Djarin

A Shade That's New by FallenFern (AO3)

Repent your sins, Punish me, Officer Djarin, Immortal By Design, Enchanted to Meet You, and His Living Fleshlight, by @beskarandblasters 

I Don't Mind Bleeding by @quicksilvermad

Cabuorir by ToricTailor (AO3)

Lush by @the-scandalorian

Ezra

Ezra's Journal Entries by @littlemisspascal

Hello to the Green by @the-blind-assassin-12

To Tell You the Truth - by @concussed-to-pieces

Sanguine by @marisferasiop

Frankie Morales

Tick and Right on Cue by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

midnight strikes, where is my prince by @undercoverpena

Routine by @endlessthxxghts

Paint With Me by @bitchesuntitled

Jack Daniels

Cherry Wine by @julesonrecord

Joel Miller

Angsty Joel Drabble by @ozarkthedog

Inhale, Exhale by @sp00kymulderr

Tear You Apart by @mermaidgirl30

Does Your Mother Know and I want it, I got it by @beskarandblasters

The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To by @freelancearsonist

amateur by @ezrasbirdie

Run Rabbit by @justagalwhowrites

you're mine, little dove by @mountainsandmayhem

Dress Up Joel by @covetyou

He Knows by @psychedelic-ink

Linger On by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Mine by gasolinerainbowpuddles

Javi Gutierrez

Door Number Three by @morallyinept

Javier Peña

Relájate, hermosa by @beskarandblasters

gonna make you sweat by @mypoisonedvine

Go Your Own Way by @schnarfer

Some fools fool themselves by @freelancearsonist

Dámelo by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Lucien Flores

On the Verge of a Usual Mistake and The Blossoms We Wear by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Marcus Moreno

12:32 PM by @dancingtotuyo

Marcus Pike

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by @whataperfectwasteoftime

In shades of gray and candlelight by @freelancearsonist

headshots by @secretelephanttattoo

The Infinity Cube by @littlemisspascal

Oberyn Martell

Given a Name by @missredherring

Cabuorir by ToricTailor (AO3)

Pero Tovar

Innocence Need Not Tremble by @brandyllyn

Tim Rockford

some good friend by @covetyou

Various (but not at the same time)

A Baker's Dozen by @avastrasposts

[x-0ophelia0-x]

Home isn’t a place, it‘s a feeling.

pairing: Fem!Reader x Ezra Bridger

warnings: none, there’s fluff at the end

word count: 2,7k

summary: Home. Such a simple word and it still was so hard to describe. Since Ezra disappeared from your lives, you didn’t really acknowledge the building you lived in as your home. It all changed though when an unauthorized imperial shuttle caught your attention.

authors note: Finally! I started writing this one last week 😭

however, we were ROBBED of Heras and Ezras hug, literally robbed. anyway, here’s another ff dedicated to our underrated spaceboy c:

enjoy <3

Home.

Such a simple word.

And it still was so hard to describe.

Most people would say that it’s the place where you grew up.

Your house, your room or your Planet.

It’s meaning being completely forgotten. 

To you it was more of an emotion then a place.

Memories and people that defined who you are today. 

People that grew very important to you.

People that managed to work together, as a family.

People that made you feel safe. 

How long has it been now?

10 years?

10 years since you last saw him?

10 years since you kept your hopes up for the best?

10 unimaginable long years that seemed to never have a happy ending for you?

10 years of living with the fear of not knowing if he survived or not?

If you knew better back then you wouldn’t have let Ezra go this easy as you did.

He told you that he’d be alright, that he’d be careful. 

But when the purrgils took off with the Chimarea, jumping into hyperspace, somewhere into the unknown, you couldn’t help but feel helpless.

Helpless because you weren’t able to stop him.

Because you couldn’t do anything more then to watch him go.

That the last ‚I love you‘ he ever heard from you was from your filtered voice trough his comm link.

He was gone and nobody believed in his return, at least not the ones who’d have the resources to bring him back.

Only Hera, Sabine, Ahsoka and you were determined to find him. 

When Ahsoka found a map, leading to a unknown galaxy, your hopes of finding him again went up. A feeling of excitement made it’s way back to you, a feeling you didn’t feel for a long time now. 

There was still hope.

And when Hera told you that Ahsoka and Sabine made their way to possibly find Ezra, you couldn’t help but feel the most excited you ever felt during the last decade.

Little did you know that today was the day.

-

„I have a strange feeling about something..“

You, Chopper and Jacen were sitting on the ghosts couch, talking about different things. 

Jacen often wanted to hear you tell him stories about the rebellion, about your missions, his father, his mother and ‚that guy‘ named Ezra. 

He never met him, how could he?

Hearing you all talk about him most of the time confused Jacen, so he decided to take the things into his own hands and try to understand why everyone was so fond of him by hearing your stories about Ezra. 

„About what?“

You asked the younger boy while you tried to pick the next story you wanted to tell him.

He just shrugged, looking around and then returning his gaze to you.

„I don’t know.. something just felt off earlier“

Just before you could answer anything to him you heard Heras voice calling out for you.

„y/n! I need you on the main hangar now, an unauthorized shuttle requested to land here“

She said, somehow stressed? But why? That wasn’t something new after all.

„Isn’t this something.. I don’t know… common?“

It was a small shuttle after all?

„It belongs to the empire“

Her voice was stern now, hiding something more important.

The empire? This whole thing just got more interesting. 

„… and?“

„The shuttles ID is kinda old..“

This caught your full interest now.

„How old exactly?“

„…“

„Hera?“

„I don’t know how but..“

There was a short break before she continued to speak.

Trying to understand what was happening herself.

„The ID… is registered under Thrawns flagship..“

You expected everything, everything but this.

Your eyes widened at the news, you felt your heart starting to beat faster.

„The Chimaera…?“

„Yes.. this shuttle… somehow managed to return“

Jacen noticed the shift in your behavior, you seemed to be lost in your thoughts.

"Are you still there?"

He heard his mother ask you.

"y/n?"

Knowing that it was some star destroyer that 'took' Ezra away from you, he came to a conclusion of his own.

"That ship.."

He finally catched your Attention, you turned around, looking at him while he tried to find the right words.

"The Chimarea.. was this the ship that... uhmm.."

"Yes"

There was a silent moment between the three of you until Hera decided to speak up again. 

„We don’t know who’s flying the shuttle right now but… You may want to find this out so I guess that you should start and make your way to the hangar“

„Okay“

„Take your blasters with you, just in case“

-

You made your way to the hangar. A lot of people were here, everyone holding his blasters tight, waiting for the shuttle to finally land. 

Hera stood next to, both of you having your eyes trained on the unexpected visitor. 

„Don’t shoot unless they try something stupid and Jacen, you stay behind“

Commanded Hera.

The shuttle now finally touched the hangars floor. The sound of the ramp opening now echoing freely around this place. 

It took some seconds for the person to walk out but you soon recognized the stormtroopers armor. It was pretty worn, had a lot of scratches, even some fabric strips holding some parts together. Compared to the other imps, this was the dirtiest armor you’ve ever seen.

The person stepped put of the shuttle, his hands up, signaling that he didn’t want to start a fight.

Everyone including you and Hera raised his blasters, the trooper on gunpoint.

However, something about all of this felt off. Something was familiar to you but you didn’t know what exactly. 

Whenever you looked at the armored person in front of you, you couldn’t help but think that it’s presence was familiar. 

Not only that, but you felt the person staring at you trough his or hers visor.

Despite not being force sensitive at all, it almost felt like as if the force was trying to tell you something.

The way how the person was walking seemed familiar, even the way how they raised their hands.

Chopper seemed to recognize something though, not much time after the person left the shuttle, he started to roll towards him, you assumed that it was a man.

„Chopper!“

Hera was just as confused as everyone. The droid didn’t hesitate to roll up to this stranger, letting him even pat his head while he gave happy beeps from him for everyone to hear. 

Was this really a stranger? Chopper recognized Someone so dear to him to even let him pat his stubborn head. 

The first started to murmur, not knowing what to do. You at the other hand tried to solve this mystery. 

The shuttle belonged to the Chimaera, the trooper seemed familiar to you and Chopper didn’t waste a second after realizing something you now tried to realize too. 

Chimaera.. Chopper…. Stormtrooper.

Wait, this was a Stormtrooper… a Stormtroopers armor.

„Oh my..“

You gasped at the realization, your eyes wide as you let your blasters fall down. 

„y/n..?“

Hera was even more confused by now. First her war criminal of a droid starts to warm up to some random stormtrooper who was supposed to be dead and now you seem to see something that she still can’t muster.

„This can’t be..“

You continued.

„I can’t believe this..“

Tears started to form at your eyes, threatening to spill over as you started to walk towards the said ‚trooper‘.

He never really moved his gaze away from you and as you started to walk towards him, he gave Chopper a last head pat before starting to make his way to you too. 

„y/n..! What in the force are you doing?“

Hera wanted to go after you but she was stopped by her son.

„Stay back.. and watch“

He said, seeming to also know who the person behind that mask was. 

„Tell me.. who is this?“

„You’ll soon find out“

You now just stood inches away from him. 

He lowered his hands, standing still, seeming to be overwhelmed by something. 

And you knew what that something was, depending if your guess of him was right. 

„I can’t believe this..“

You started, looking up to him to where you assumed where his eyes.

„After 10 years…“

You trailed off, moving your hands up to his face, placing them on the helmet as you tears started to spill over.

„You came back…“

There was a shiver in your voice when you managed to break the lock, slowly taking of his helmet.

„Please.. please let it be you“

You removed the helmet as gently as you could, holding it while you found yourself mesmerized once again.

Vibrant blue eyes were looking straight to your eyes. The same loving look you used to see on a daily basis a decade ago. 

His hair had grown since the last time you saw him, his curls pressed because of the helmet. He even had a beard.

You were at a loss of words, it was him. Ezra.

Your Ezra.

„Hey y/n… it’s me.. it’s really me..“

He said, his eyes never leaving yours as you let the helmet fall.

As if you were acting by some hidden instinct, you threw your arms around him, taking him into the most heartfelt embrace you’ve ever given to anyone in your whole life.

Your tears had no barriers now as you let them stream down freely. 

„Don’t you ever dare to do this again..!“

Was all you managed to say between your sobs. 

Ezra didn’t waste any second, wrapping you tight in his arms while you two fell down to your knees, holding each other close.

„Ezra..“

Hera was shocked, speechless, not knowing what the hell was happening right now. Jacen at the other hand smiled, sensing the relief in her. Something he didn’t sense in her for a long time now.

„Given them a moment.. I have a feeling that they need it“

He then said, looking back to the reunited couple.

„I missed you so much“

You heard him say, the shakiest you’ve ever heard his voice. 

„The thought of you was the only thing that kept me sane..“

He said while you nuzzled your head in his neck, not wanting to ever let go of him again.

„Knowing that this day would come“

You felt something wet drip on your cheek, you raised your head from where it was resting on his shoulder to look at him.

His eyes were filled with tears. He seemed to be happy, relieved… at peace.

Nobody except him knew what he had to face until he was finally back.

What horrors he had to endure while he was stranded somewhere alone.

Something in his eyes told you that he didn’t care about anything that had happened in the past 10 years, instead they seemed to tell you something else.

Something that the both of you knew.

Everything that mattered right now was that he was back, back by your side.. back to the people that cared for him.

„You’re an idiot.. do you know that?“

You somehow managed to chuckle while you looked at his loving eyes.

And there it was, there was the smirk he used to give you whenever he tried to be romantic.

„I‘m your idiot“

„That’s correct“

The last time you heard his voice was when he used the force to talk to you all for one last time before he disappeared. 

It also reminded you that the last time he heard your voice was through the filtered comm link.

„I love you“

You moved your hand to cup his cheek, the once which still held his prominent scars.

And he did it too, he placed his hand on the lower side of your face, his other still wrapped tightly around your body.

„I love you too“

Your faces moved closer and when they were close enough, you connected your lips, sharing a long kiss. 

It somehow replaced everything you both could’ve said to each other.

You both didn’t say a word, deepening the kiss while you didn’t let go of each other.

As of you were both scared that the other would vanish the second you’d loose the grip on the other. 

Chopper started to beep in a teasing way, catching you both off guard as he managed to get a chuckle from Ezra.

You pulled apart and, while you both still held each other close, you also felt a warm feeling inside you. Safety.

A few seconds passed and the sound of boots walking closer to you got louder.

Ezra looked over your shoulder and his eyes widened again.

„Welcome home.. Ezra“

Hera stood in front of them, fighting against her own tears as she looked at her, technically, ‚adopted son‘. 

She knelt down to be on the same level as you two.

„Can I..?“

She asked and you two instantly pulled her closer into your hug.

Let’s just say that it was a very heartwarming reunion.

-

A week passed now since Ezra’s arrival.

You invited him to live with you in your apartment, even offering him the other side of your bed.

Which indeed was an act of true love for you since your most treasured furniture was your bed. 

Your sleep being the only thing that you enjoyed. 

Considering this, letting him have the other half was indeed something very important to you.

However, there was something different now.

For 10 years you somehow developed a feeling that didn’t seem right.

This was the place where you lived, the place where you spent day and night.

But you never felt complete here.

No matter how much you‘d add there, be it any kind of furniture or decoration, there was something missing.

Something or better.. someone. 

With Ezra being back, the building that most of the people would call home, was finally complete.

It’s crazy that you lived here for many years now but you never felt that it was your home. Not until he was again right by your side. 

You were cuddled up against him, resting your head on his chest.

It was early in the morning and he was still sleeping.

You at the other hand were already awake, nuzzling your face against him.

The effect he had on you was crazy.

And he made you realize something.

No matter where you were, where you lived or where you stayed.

No matter the conditions.

Wherever you were.. wherever he was with you..

That’d be the place you’d call your home.

Because even if you lived here for many years, you never really felt at home.

But since the moment he returned, this warm feeling of knowing that you had somewhere to go.. the word ‚home‘ instantly regained its meaning for you.

He made you feel safe, loved and cared for.

He was your safe space.

Your everything.

Deep in your heart you knew the answer to the question you used to ask yourself in the past years.

He was your home.

And you were his.

He didn’t tell this to you but when he was back in Perridea, he of corse didn’t feel at home at all.

Not only because he was trapped in another galaxy. No. 

He even had his own ‚home‘ when he travelled with his new friends.

He spent 10 years of his life there and not one of those years, not even for a second, he was able to somehow feel as if he had a home there.

Because you weren’t there.

And when he came back, when he walked off that Shuttle.

When he finally looked into your eyes.

He instantly felt something that literal buildings didn’t manage to do.

He felt at home.

In his case, his home wasn’t just a lifeless building… instead it was something bigger… a Person.

The Person he wanted to spend his entire life with. 

You.