#we need more bambi art in this world. she is so important to me.

[glittersploots]

the name of the game: brennan npcs that i am attracted to

[kianakrystlewrites]

My Writing Journey

Hello my darlings ♡ Welcome to my blog! If you’ve found your way here, thank you so much for following me on my writing journey. It means the world to have you engage with me as I pave my way to publication. This post is something I’ve been wanting to write forever now, and I’m so delighted to share it with you. I believe when you reach a certain point during whatever path you’re on, it’s important to reflect on what brought you to where you are. For me, I am currently querying my first novel, LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA (which will have its own blog post very soon). It has been such a challenging and reflective time for me, filled with mixed emotions and uncertainty. Regardless of the “bad days” when I am met with rejection after rejection, I am still so proud of myself for making it to this point. And believe it or not, there are “good days” too (like landing a spot on the Top 25 Pitches list for PitMad, and receiving full requests from agents I’m really excited about). And in those moments of success and fulfillment, I am always reminded of what started it all. 

Like most writers, I’ve always loved English. There’s no need to get into that. But unlike a lot of writers, I fell in love with language before I fell in love with storytelling. I think what triggered my love for the sound of words was getting my heart broken . . . by my first love, by my family, by my friends at the time. Literature, lyrics, prose . . . those were the only things that made me feel whole.  When I had nothing, I found comfort in how words fell off the tongue like honey and wine. It was like a secret language that only I could hear, which evoked a euphoria unlike anything else. When I’d read books like Romeo & Juliet or The Great Gatsby, I could feel myself turn pink with a warm glow. The prose from those stories struck me like a cord. It brought me to life. But there was one writer who shaped me above the rest, and she wasn’t even an author. She was a musician. 

Lana Del Rey. 

Do I even have to say more?

I fell in love with Lana unlike any boy I’d loved before. Her lyrics seemed to understand me in a way no one else did, and I resonated with her as if she were my best friend. I think my true awakening was listening to her music (her song Video Games saved my life during my darkest hours). It was enchanting. Her music told stories, and I’d paint them in my mind. I’d imagine myself as the main character of her songs, and daydream about my downfall in a poetic, romantic way. It all seems very melodramatic now, but she is the main reason I decided I wanted to be a writer. 

I started with writing poetry, getting in touch with language and rhythm, familiarizing myself with how different words sounded next to each other. I think the biggest reason my prose is so lyrical now is because I was a poet before I was a fiction writer. But I didn’t want to just write poetry. I wanted to be an artist. I wanted be be like Lana. Her music wasn’t just music in my eyes. It was an aesthetic, a feeling, something so perfectly her that no one else could imitate it. Not even me. 

I fell in love with fairytales next. I vividly recall one sunny afternoon with my best friend Sydney.  We had spent the day at the beach, and when we came home, she read me fairytales on her bedroom floor. I remember wanting to escape, wanting to live in a dark and beautiful world where I was an enchantress and no one could hurt me. But I also fell in love with the lighter stories too. I wanted to be a princess. I still do. I wanted sweet days and sunshine and a prince charming who wouldn’t break my heart. Sometimes I would even think to myself . . . what if I’m supposed to be a princess on another planet?

Honestly, that was the first seed for LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA. 

More thoughts came soon after: 

. . . What if my true love is already dead and he’s waiting for me on the other side? The side where I’m a princess! And on that other side, I’d be mind numbingly gorgeous! . . .

. . . Or, what if my true love has been dead for years and years, and only visits me as my guardian angel! We could never be together if that’s the case though . . . now could we? And that’s why I’m *doomed* to be single forever!!! . . .

But in the back of my mind, I always thought that idea was quite romantic. A guardian angel watching over me, in love with me. That’s why he never lets anything bad ever happen to me. He’s someone to protect me, someone to shield me from all the darkness I’ve been battling. 

And then came the dreams. 

I had a series of dreams every day for a week straight. It was always the same thing. I’d be drowning. I could feel myself dying, struggling to breathe. For some reason, the water was always beautiful, and I was strangely aware of that even while I was suffering. But then, this handsome man would reach down and save me, pulling me towards the surface. However, when we’d brake the water, I’d be in a different world. My dream world! The world where I was a princess, and I was beautiful! But most importantly . . . the world where I was reunited with my guardian angel. 

I knew I had to write this story. I had to! Only . . . I didn’t know how. I wasn’t ready. It was one of those concepts that felt too big to pull off in the way I imagined it. But I also knew that this was the story of my heart. It was rooted in my traumas, something beautiful birthed by all my darkness. Only, I was 16. I hadn’t learned how to properly feel all the things I felt. I didn’t understand it, I didn’t understand me. But I knew I wanted to write about this beautiful girl from my dreams, filled with emotion and chaos and . . . love. At the end of the day, she was always filled with love. 

I wasn’t bold enough to write the story of my dreams. And so . . . I daydreamed about it instead. I fell in love with the aesthetic of the story. I imagined the world first. I imagined her beauty. . . all of her dresses . . . her handsome guardian angel. I became obsessed with my main tumblr @bambi-la-bella  ♡ I wanted to live in the images I collected. I created mood boards. I imagined worlds within those photographs. I dreamt of her adventures. I created scenarios in my head.

My writing has always been vivid and cinematic. I have Tumblr to thank for that. I always knew my aesthetic was meaningful in some sort of way, and I wanted my art to reflect it through and through. Present day, I’m building a whole brand surrounding my aesthetic, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

At the time, I still never felt like I could be a writer. Not the kind of writer I wanted to be. I didn’t think I could create fantasy or fairytales. I did try my hand at storytelling though. But I never touched LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA. I would always write these shitty John Green inspired contemporaries about manic pixie dream girls and runaway teens who’d road trip across the world, escaping their problems instead of confronting them. I’d write about girls like Effy Stonem and Alaska Young, who were broken and beautiful, but not in the way my dream girl was . . . unlike her, they were missing one thing. They weren’t filled with love. I didn’t know how to channel it. I didn’t know how to love myself. All I knew was that I was destructive. I was chaos incarnate. And I wanted to be free.

Senior year, I gave up on writing for good. 

I was extremely lost when I began college. It’s not something I want to get into, but I was so empty. Waking up every morning hurt. My second semester of freshman year, I decided to join a sorority. I was looking for friends, looking to feel like I belonged to something special. Only, I didn’t feel like I belonged . . . not really. I didn’t feel like myself. I don’t even really think I knew who I was at the time either. But I knew I wasn’t a pretty prefect instagram model. I wasn’t skinny and tiny like all my friends. I always felt a need to keep up with them. I wanted to look like them, act like them, be like them. I had no one else to look up to at that point. The thing is, they did made me feel special. When I was with them, I felt powerful, like nothing could hurt me. It was all an illusion. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t like them. Not in the way I wanted to be. 

Then I came across Gabriella Demartino, and everything changed. 

If you don’t know who Gabi is, she’s an American YouTuber who celebrates all things vintage, glam, and girly. I instantly became obsessed with her life and  style. I began dressing like her, doing my makeup like her, embracing things I actually loved. She made me realize I didn’t care about raves or frat parties. I wanted to go to tea. I wanted to watch the Nutcracker Ballet and go vintage dress shopping. I wanted sleepovers with champagne and Audrey Hepburn films on repeat. In my greatest fantasies, I imagined shopping at Chanel, living in Paris, dining at Laduree! . . . Gabi made me realize I wanted to create a life worth living. I wanted to be me. I wanted to be the girl from my dreams from that once upon a time. 

One winter day, Gabi posted this video she created for Christmas time. It was inspired by The Princess and the Pauper, and so whimsical to me. I wanted to live in that story. I wanted to twirl around in a lacy dress and munch on sugar cookies. I wanted to fall asleep by the fire with a ribbon in my hair and play dress up in her walk-in closet. I wanted to create something just like it. I wanted to . . . I wanted to write. After two years, I wanted to write. 

♡ a picture from the video that inspired it all ♡ 

Here’s the tea . . . when I began writing LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA (which back then was called SWEET ROSE), I was working at a dead end job. And when I say dead end, I mean DEAD. END. We had no manager. Our shop owner rarely ever stopped by. Nobody really cared about what we were supposed to be doing (we were a bunch of 18-20 year olds with no supervision) . . . and there was a computer. Right where the cash wrap was. I was alone during my shift. We had no customers that day. And so, I began to write . . . and write . . . and write. I wrote until I had my very first chapter about Lila Rose Li. Everything I’d learned in high school culminated to this very moment. My lyrical prose. My aesthetic. And my story. (which at the time was VERY different). 

I was extremely proud of my first chapter! I wanted to share it with the world! I . . . I wanted to become an author. 

I wanted to become an author.

That was always a dream I had in high school, but I never thought that it would ever come true. Instead, I was in a sorority, trying to be someone I wasn’t . . . studying fashion, which I was failing at and hated . . . but most importantly, I wasn’t being true to myself. Being an author was a dream I had that felt exclusively . . . mine. 

I decided to take the whole writing thing seriously. And to do so, I told my friends so that they could hold me accountable. “Hey, I want to be a published author!” I said one day. I’m not sure if anyone actually took me seriously at the time, but I let them read my writing as I go, excited that I was writing for someone other than myself. However, Sydney would critique me as I went, which made me realize . . . oh shit. I’m still not ready to tell this story the way I want. Will I ever be ready? HOW will I ever be ready? 

And so, I took the biggest risk I could. The year before I was supposed to graduate college, I decided to change my major to Creative Writing. My mother cried. She thought I was being absolutely ridiculous. She told me she’d never believe in me until I proved myself to her (news flash: present day she supports my writing immensely and prays for me to get a book deal every single night). But at the time . . . I was a disgrace. I was the dishonorable child who didn’t care what mom and dad thought. It’s true. I didn’t care. I’d risk it all to become the writer I always dreamt of being. Even if that meant my family hated me. 

Despite the discourse with my family, this is still probably my favorite part of the journey — being a creative writing major, finding my people, my voice, and my best friend: @chloegracewrites  ♡ It started with dinner parties with classmates I’d met in CW 301. We’d sit around a cheese plate, drink wine, and talk about our story ideas. It was the most wonderful time of my life. I finally felt like I fit in somewhere after searching forever. But when I met Chloe . . . I can’t even tell you how it changed my life.

The day I met her I felt like we were two halves of a whole. We bonded over our love for Laini Taylor, and eventually had our first “creative writing date” where we just gushed about writing instead of actually writing. Most of my brainstorming was done with her. She helped me realize ideas I hadn’t even fully formed yet. In fact, I plotted the concept for my final version of LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA with her just about a year ago (In August, when I started my final draft). When I think of becoming a serious writer, I think of Chloe. I think about how she pushed me, and how she was the only one out of my peers I trusted to make me better. But I’m getting ahead of myself. 

A lot happened before I actually started to get . . . good.  

I’m not going to lie, when I first started my creative writing classes, I thought I was hot shit. Unlike my peers, I already had a style. I had a story and an aesthetic and I had a voice. Only . . . I didn’t realize that voice wasn’t good. I used to cry every time we had workshop. I didn’t understand that my peers were just trying to make me better. It wasn’t until my teacher turned mentor (let’s call him MDL) lit a damn fire beneath my ass. He returned my first writing assignment to me. I was less than enthused by the grade. Of course, I cried. I cried and cried and was probably known as the girl who cried! But above all, I was pissed! I wanted to be better than this. I knew I was better than this!

I thought about my parents. I remembered everything I sacrificed for my dreams. I thought of quitting my sorority, of quitting fashion, of leaving all my friends behind to follow my own path . . . but most importantly, I remembered that I wanted to be a writer. And if I wanted to be a writer, I sure as hell had to take things seriously. 

My inner slytherin LEAPED out. I was vicious when it came to perfection. I would accept nothing less. In the end, I still cried. But I cried like Azula in the last episode of ATLA: upset that I didn’t win, upset that I wasn’t perfect. My obsession was sick, and yet . . . I was oddly proud of myself. I knew I’d stop at nothing to be the best writer I could be. I wrote twice every day: once in the morning, and once at night. Mind you, I had a job, went to school, and worked an internship at the time. Eventually, one of my professors broke me. He deemed me emotionally unstable. He called me a distraction to the rest of the class because of my perfectionism. And just like that, I realized how insane I’d gotten, and how obsessed with perfection I’d become. But even then, I was thankful. When I got kicked out of class, I scrapped my whole novel for the third time and began again. 

Another fire was lit, and I was going to prove him wrong. 

I decided I wanted to go to grad school to get my MFA in Childrens and Young Adult Writing at the New School in New York. Partially because this professor told me I wasn’t a “serious enough writer” for grad school and that I “needed help.” Boy did that make me mad! I’ll show you, I said to myself. I worked twice as hard, but this time, without the tears or self destruction. You know that scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Miranda tells Andrea “you’re not working hard enough” after Andrea bent over backwards for her job? Well I had that moment too. And just like Andrea, I collected myself, and worked harder than hard. I was basically the Elle Woods of the Creative Writing Department, and I HAD to prove myself. 

And boy, did I work hard as hell. 

Remember that other professor, MDL? Oh yeah. By the end of the year, he went from being critical of my writing to praising it. He even offered me a mentorship (mind you, this was super cool because he’s an award winning author). I won’t give away too much, but I am so thankful for his guidance. By the end of that semester, one of my peers had told me something I’d never forget. She said, “You know Kiana, I’ve always admired how seriously you take criticism. I’m impressed with how hard you work to become the best writer you can be.” I was so proud of myself in that moment. 

Although, I think I’m quite different now. After falling in love with my novel, it’s hard for me to accept anyone else’s opinion other than my own. But again . . . I’m getting ahead of myself. 

That summer, August to be exact, my novel was no longer SWEET ROSE. It was no longer DEVIL’S ROSE, or DEVIL’S ROSE 2.0. It was . . . LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA. I remember blurting out my ideas for the rewrite to Chloe, and having them not make sense out loud. She seemed to understand me though. For some reason, I think she always has, even when I don’t think I make any sense at all. We talked over my plot, and when I sat down to write . . . it felt like the story I always wanted to tell.

A year after my chaotic semester of getting kicked out of class with a permanent W on my transcript, I no longer felt the need to go to grad school. To my surprise, I was proud of how I’d evolved (plus COVID happened lol). However, all of that hard work from last year still paid off. I got accepted anyways with 50% of my tuition covered. It was a merit scholarship based on my application alone (BASED ON MY OPENING CHAPTERS OF LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA)!!! I was in disbelief! Take that mr. professor who said I wasn’t serious enough for grad school!

By the time I finished writing my novel in May of 2020, I felt like my story was a work of art. It was my story. The story of my heart. And I had finally created the version of it I’d always dreamed of. But again, I’m getting ahead of myself. 

Flashback to March of 2020, my life began to change even more. I joined writing Twitter pre-COVID, and found my community. With the pandemic going on, I began to create a lot of online friendships. I was connecting with so many other writers, and I learned a lot from them all. 

But my most successful online friendship wasn’t found through Twitter. It was through here on Tumblr. I was convinced I had met my soulmate: @wistful-giselle​  ♡ 

Speaking to Giselle felt like every Lana Del Rey song I’d ever listened to. It felt like reading Romeo & Juliet and The Great Gatsby for the first time again. She spun poetry unlike anything I had ever read (and is a great inspiration behind my prose). She reminded me that my writing isn’t just about the story . . . it’s about the language too. She inspired me to make sure every page was perfumed and lyrical, and before sending my novel out to readers, I did one big revision with her in mind. I wanted to impress myself, but I also wanted to impress her. She was the most talented writer I had ever met. 

Giselle ended up being the first person to ever read my novel from start to finish (and in a single sitting too). For that, she holds a special place in my heart. 

Then came my beta readers. Another person read it all in one sitting: Chloe. Then another. And another. And another. In total, five people read my entire novel in one whole sitting. I was speechless. I still am. Even my CPs flooded me with praise and compliments. I didn’t realize it at the time, but within two weeks, I thought that I was ready to query because of the successful response I had.

I believed in myself, and in my eyes, I thought my novel was perfect (especially because of the validation from readers). Looking back on it now, I’m not entirely sure I was ready. I think that perhaps I was overly confident. Maybe, I still am. 

I started querying in July of this year. I cannot even speak to the amount of rejections I received between now and then. People told me I was ready. They said that agents would swoop me up immediately. In fact, I thought I’d be agented in about a week or so! Boy was I wrong. That’s not how things work at all. 

This part of my journey is probably the darkest. I don’t think I was ever really prepared for it. Rejection, after rejection, after rejection came. I started to lose hope after only a month. I was confused. I didn’t understand what was wrong with my novel. I still don’t really understand it. LOVE LETTERS TO THE SEA is everything I ever wanted it to be. It’s everything I worked so hard at perfecting. It’s just like how I feel about Lana’s music: so perfectly me that nobody else could ever imitate it. I love my story. I think I always will. 

I know I might appear to be doing well on social media to some of you despite all of the rejections. To people who don’t know the details of my life, I probably even seem successful. During SFFpit, I was the top tweet of the whole contest with over 300+ retweets and 7 requests (there were more, those were just the ones that I was interested in). 

In the end, they were all rejections. 

I never wanted anyone to know that. I’m so thankful for my following, I don’t want to let anyone down. But at the end of the day, I also want to be authentic with my audience. I want you to know that even I fail.

In March of 2020, I started with 200 followers on my Twitter account. By September of 2020, I’d grown my following to 1,000+ followers, which I am so thankful for. I know that number may not seem like a lot to some people, but as someone who has never had a rapidly growing following, it means the world to me. I love everyone who supports me more than they’ll ever know.  

I see everything. I notice how many of you there are who tell me you can’t wait to see my book on the shelves. I see your praise and encouragement and support. I read all of your messages. I respond to every one, or at least I try. Sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve it. But I am so, so thankful for it all. It’s the reason I keep believing in myself, even in my darkest hours. 

All I’ve ever wanted is to feel seen. 

And I do. I feel seen by all of you. But I also feel like a fraud sometimes. The truth is, even I get rejections. A lot of them. More than you would think from the outside looking in. And yeah, it hurts. It hurts because I love my story. It hurts because I believe in myself. It hurts because you believe in me too. 

So why aren’t I there yet?

I don’t think I’ve ever felt true heartbreak until now. Querying is the most vulnerable, brutal thing I’ve ever put myself through.

But it does get better. There are some good days too. You might think I’m just being dramatic since the present day marker of this journey actually ends on a very happy note. But that’s the thing about querying. It’s up and down, up and down. It’s unpredictable and scary and it takes a lot of guts to do. But enough on that. 

This post is getting long, so I’m not going to go into detail about pitch contests. All you need to know is that I participated in a huge contest called PitMad, and to my suprise, I made it into the top 25 tweets of the contest, with 400+ retweets and about 8 agent requests. 

And even more surprising, I f*cked up my queries on accident, and still received several fulls 3 days later (lol). My point is, maybe it’s not all about being “perfect”.  Maybe it’s about having a story you love and believe in, and finding the right match for it. 90% of my rejections are based on my story “not being the right fit.” It doesn’t mean my story is bad. It just means I haven’t found the right person to represent me. I know I have a strong story that I love deeply, and that others love deeply too. It wasn’t until my fulls started coming in that I began believing in myself again. Thankfully, I have a group of wonderful people who never once stopped believing in me, even when my light dimmed out. (you know who you are ♡). 

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t even know if my fulls will turn into offers. All I can do is believe in myself, and know that my story is good enough for someone to want to represent it. And hey, if it doesn’t work out, I can always revise. I did it once before . . . in college, when I was still pushing myself to grow. Sometimes I forget that we never really stop growing. There is always room to evolve. 

Maybe I was right to believe in my novel so fiercely. Maybe I was wrong. 

Honestly, only time can tell. I have a hopeful feeling about my recent requests, and I am very excited about the agents viewing my work. But I also know how devastating querying is. I don’t want to let myself down. Falling from grace and reaching my lowest lows has taught me that I’m not perfect. In fact, there’s no such thing as perfect. I am constantly evolving, and this isn’t the end of my journey. 

It’s just the beginning. 

Love Always, 

        Kiana  ♡  

[gma-crafts]

The Purrposal

The biggest thanks to @iloveyou-3000 for beta-reading faster than I could say Boom! You’ve been such a big help! A big smooch to @robertdowneyjjr for being such a sweet co-parent to the feline trio - check out her fics about the catdad!ironhusbands linked below!

Word Count: 3,286 Warnings: just loads of fluff, “very soft and gay” - test readers Characters: James Rhodes, Tony Stark, and their cats Mochi, Susu and Jonathan Summary: Tony lost something. Rhodey offers his help. But sometimes you only know what you’ve been looking for when you find it.

*

“Honeeey?” “What?”  “Where’s my super suit?” “Whaaat??” 

“Where the hell did she go?” 

Rhodey drew his attention away from the movie he was watching. It’s not like he was able to actually concentrate on it anyway, ever since Tony slid into the room wearing his fuzzy socks  ten minutes ago, and started opening  drawers and doors, growing more and more frantic each time. Mochi, who had been sleeping on Rhodey’s lap, posing as a fluffy white bun, woke up from the ruckus and hopped off the couch to find a less noisy spot somewhere else in the house; and, honestly, Rhodey couldn’t blame her. 

“You good there, Tones?” He asked over his shoulder, though he doubted he’d get a proper answer. Ever since he and his boyfriend moved in together two years ago, those hectic outbursts with Tony forgetting about everything and everyone within a two-mile radius became one of the less pleasant parts of their everyday life. 

Don’t get him wrong, Rhodey loved waking up next to this beautiful disaster of a man, brushing back the mess of curls and watch those Bambi eyes flutter open. His military operations had him exposed to raw, untouched wilderness all over the planet, from desert sunrise to dusk setting over a snow-covered tundra. None of those ever had him stop and stare as when Tony’s soft, chocolatey gaze fell on him, spreading a warmth he almost felt physically. 

But while Rhodey was a romantic at heart, as well as hopelessly in love with his oldest friend, he also was a calm and rational man - you’d never see him run around like a headless chicken in search for anything. Whenever something would be misplaced (and Rhodey liked to make clear that he was in no way affiliated with losing it in the first place), he would track it down systematically. 

Tony, however, was different. He could hyper-fixate on a scientific concept for weeks, only to then revolutionize it in his basement workshop on a Friday afternoon. He kept track of  a multitude of important things with an ease Rhodey only could envy. But if Tony discovered his favourite hoodie, the Stark Tech drafts Pepper had been expecting for weeks or Jonathan’s catnip toy weren’t where he assumed they’d be, the genius was gone in no time. You could set a countdown from ninety seconds down and watch him turn from chill to hysteric once it hit zero. 

The time must’ve been up way before Tony dashed into their living room. Rhodey’s question went unheard and the bang of the highboard’s bottom drawer sounded particularly final. Rhodey hopped over the backrest with a small sigh - this goddamn hectic! - and squatted down next to one of the world’s richest people squirming on the ground, face pressed into the small gap between the expensive leather couch and the Italian oak floorboards , cooing and frolicking with a tremor in his voice that replaced Rhodey’s bewilderment with worry. 

“Care to tell me what you’re looking for?” 

“-t now, she’s gotta be here somewhere, f'god’s sake..”, came the muffled response. Rhodey gave his nose a small rub with his knuckle, more to gather himself than  to cure an itch; he then hooked his fingers in the belt loops of Tony’s cargo pants and tugged him closer, ignoring the small yelp of protest, and cupped his boyfriend’s face firmly. Rhodey would tear up over the pout Tony sported later, he had to remain serious now. 

“Babe. We talked about this. Stop making yourself all panicky and tell me what’s up.” Rhodey emphasized every sentence with planting a kiss on the absolute mess of curls, and with each, Tony’s grip on his wrists loosened a little. Finally he let some of his tension slip and leaned into Rhodey’s touch, still a bit out of breath from crawling all over the floor. His eyes were suspiciously bright when he finally answered.

“It’s Susu. I can’t find her! I looked for her all day, went through every room twice, I checked the laundry, all the drawers, I shook the treat box til I spilt half of them on the stairs, JARVIS went through the tapes for the last 48 hours, I checked all the beds and scratch trees. She. Is. Gone.” He huffed and slumped down against Rhodey’s chest, who immediately wound him into a hug. 

“I lost my baby, Platypus. Probably locked her out days ago without even noticing and now she got run over by a car or froze to death or the Chitauri abducted her to-” 

“Tony”, he cut off his boyfriend’s ramblings “First of all, nobody freezes to death in Malibu, especially not in June. Second of all, if she really had gotten lost outside, JARVIS wouldn’t have tracked her chip to still be inside this house. That was the very first thing you told him to do, remember?” 

Tony nodded, his hair tickling Rhodey’s cheek. “Remind me to enhance the accuracy down to the very inch she’s standing on”, he mumbled against his boyfriend’s shoulder, hands gripping tighter on the fabric of Rhodey’s henley, his cheek vibrating from the chuckle the taller man let out. 

“Anything, babe . But first let’s get you a snack and some water. Something’s telling me you haven’t eaten all day. And then we’ll find Susu together.” 

Tony frowned at that suggestion, and Rhodey would’ve laughed out loud ‘cause it made him look so much like that genius, stubborn teenage boy that burst into his dorm room years ago, throwing his world upside down. Instead, he just smiled into Tony’s disastrous bedhead one last time before urging him towards the pantry. 

Five minutes later, a granola-munching Tony followed Rhodey around as they searched for the smallest member of their feline bunch. It’s been almost a year since the two of them had adopted the pitch-black ball of fluff along with their oldest cat, Jonathan. Officially, they were brought into their little family to keep their first furbaby, Mochi, company; in reality, Rhodey had suggested taking in another cat after Mochi declared him his favourite person, and after Tony became less and less efficient in hiding that he was genuinely hurt by this decision. 

While Jonathan never missed the opportunity to strut all over Tony’s face with a satisfied purr every morning, Susu and him grew especially close. Of course, Tony turned down any attempt of Rhodey’s to point out how much alike they were - tiny, soft, energetic bundles of joy, always on the jump to their next adventure, experiencing the world around them with a mind so sharp and a curiosity so insatiable Rhodey gave up on trying to understand them long ago. And every time  he thought he finally had it sorted out, discovered the pattern, they’d turn around and surprise him with an entire new facette. But yeah, he was totally making all of that up. 

They decided to start with their bedroom, since this was where Susu was most likely to be found - if she wasn’t napping in one of the twelve cat beds scattered in Tony’s workshop. While both Jonathan and Mochi mastered the art of coincidentally wanting to take a nap in the room you were already in, Susu never made her affection for Tony a secret. Rhodey often caught her checking in on Tony between naps with her high-pitched meows, her soft purrs, sometimes shamelessly bumping her head into his arm until he caved in and gave her some much-needed  belly rubs. Those two chaotic goblins clinging to each other like conjoined twins made it even more suspicious that Susu hadn’t been seen for some hours now. 

Rhodey tried his best to hide that he began to worry about the kitten’s sudden disappearance. With Tony still padding along behind him, he entered the bedroom and decided to start his search counterclockwise. Rhodey made sure to include Tony as best as he could, make him feel useful and not spiral further down; he asked him to hold up the sheets while he tried to squeeze under the bed with soft coos, or made Tony get the treats while he went through the first third of their wardrobe. Tony did as he was told, way calmer now as if Rhodey’s presence alone helped him to not lose his marbles. 

He was in the middle of searching the top of their wardrobe as well as the upper compartments, when Rhodey heard a soft “Oh!” from across the room, where their dresser stood. He half jumped, half tumbled down the chair he was standing on and hurried over to where Tony hunched over the second to bottom drawer - the one with the old shirts Tony wore in his workshop. Rhodey sat down next to him, hand reaching to pull his boyfriend into a comforting hug, when he caught a glimpse of why Tony was on the verge of crying. 

Two very yellow, very sleepy-looking spots were blinking up to him from between two stacks of black shirts. He now realized that Tony wasn’t sobbing, but non-stop mumbling to the little black cat squeezed into the already crammed drawer; a wild mix of profanities and affectionate murmurs. Rhodey let out a sigh of relief and reached over Tony’s shoulder to scratch Susu’s ear, much to her delight. 

“-was so worried you stupid tiny fur noodle… checked this drawer like three times and you didn’t even wake up”, his boyfriend croaked and quickly wiped his face with his sleeve, before bending down and planting a big smooch on the kitten’s head. Susu responded with a friendly mewl and nuzzled her face against Tony’s cheek as if she hadn’t been M.I.A. for the past few hours, as if she was just checking in on him as usual, and yeah, now Tony cried. 

Carefully he wiggled his hands around Susu’s tummy, lifting her a bit before placing one hand underneath her hind legs for support. But Susu, who had been fast asleep not even two minutes ago, wasn’t so eager to leave her hideout yet, and when Tony pulled her closer to his chest, two of the shirts came along with the cat, attached to her claws only by a couple of threads. And with the shirts and a small thud, something else fell to the floor, and Rhodey’s heart jumped to his throat. 

“What’s that? You’ve been hoarding treasures in there, you stinky gremlin?”, Tony cooed, Susu pressed against him with one hand as he leaned down. Rhodey suppressed a small yelp; he had forgotten what he had put in that drawer until now. He tried to snatch it before Tony could see what it was, but both his hands had been too busy with running his boyfriend’s back up and down in soothing circles. A slim, calloused hand closed around the fine leather, and the soft words muttered into the kitten’s fur faded into silence. 

Rhodey waited for a reaction, any reaction, but Tony just sort of froze, staring at the box he held, dumbstruck. He had no doubt Tony recognized the logo embossed into the lid immediately, connected the dots, and the longer the only audible sound was Susu purring like a fuzzy Bentley, the more anxious he became.  

“Rhodey, is this what I think it is?” He didn’t look at the taller man, just slowly turned the box over and over in his hand, brows furrowed. Well, that wasn’t exactly a No, right? With gentle fingers Rhodey took the box from Tony’s grasp and flipped the lid open with his thumb, his eyes not leaving Tony’s face. 

The frown slipped off his boyfriend’s features like a heap of snow from a rooftop, his eyes glistening with emotion and a sob tugging on the corner of his mouth. Tony lifted Susu a bit higher, buried his face in her fur for a second before he gently sat her down on the dresser, and reached to touch the slim metal band sitting in a bed of dark velvet. 

“It’s made from our suits’ old chest plates. Y’know, that ‘piece of my heart’ thing. It’s sappy I know, but I liked it better than some fancy white gold or platinum,” Rhodey explained, more to calm his nerves than to actually share the info. Tony remained quiet, his thumb brushing over the anthracite metal, separated by a thin line of hot rod red and the tiny aquamarine sitting on top of it. Was that a smile? Yeah, but a sad one. Rhodey waited in anticipation for Tony to say something. 

“I, um… I guess you want to keep that now.” Rhodey’s heart death-dropped from his throat to the soles of his feet. What? 

“Tones, what are you talking about?” While he spoke, he set down the ring box on top of the dresser, where Susu gave it a curious sniff. 

“I spent way more time on coming up with the perfect moment to give it to you than I’m willing to admit. The only reason I haven’t asked to put it on your finger yet is ‘cause I’m having the hardest time finding words for just how much I love you, and how happy it’d make me to be at your side, as your husband.“ 

Tony still didn’t look at him, arms wrapped around himself tightly and, oh no, Rhodey knew what that meant. They were back to spiraling, but the different kind. Quickly he closed the gap between them, his hands squeezing into the space between Tony’s biceps and ribs, gently forcing his crossed arms apart. The smaller man giggled involuntarily, and shied away from getting wound into yet another hug, but Rhodey wasn’t having any of it; his hands remaining on Tony’s waist, he pushed slowly, but firmly, until his boyfriend had to give in to the pressure. 

Stumbling backwards until he hit the bed, Tony found himself harboured in by Rhodey’s arms on either side of his face, anchored down by the taller man hovering over him, so close he could feel Rhodey’s warm breath on his neck. It was hard letting your insecurities take the best of you, when the man you loved smiled down at you warm and tender like that. 

Tony had a history with pushing through hard times alone, no one there to offer him comfort, even if he had been able to ask for it. Rhodey knew that isolating himself became one of Tony’s default responses to emotional stress, and he tried his best to let him know, at least physically, that he didn’t need to endure everything alone. Little did he know that for Tony, every kiss and every hug felt like a heating pad on an aching muscle. 

"Tony. You’re the most brilliant yet most dense man I’ve ever met. Honestly, who looks at an engagement ring and goes ‘Oh, whoops! Must’ve been a mistake, that can’t possibly be for me’? I’ve spent years trying to figure out how that beautiful mind of yours works, and all it got me was a thinning hairline. So, Tones. Babe. Tell me what on earth makes you think I wouldn’t wanna marry you right here, right now?" 

Tony squirmed around beneath him, his eyes glistening again; Rhodey didn’t move an inch. They’d talk this out, and they’d do it now, before Tony fled into his workshop and had JARVIS lock him out for three days straight. 

"I- it’s just…”, Tony started, rather at a loss of words than reluctant to open up to his boyfriend; but eventually, the dam broke. 

“I don’t see how you could possibly wanna marry me after I spent all day going bonkers over a cat, after I roamed the entire house twice, like an idiot, cried about seven times and didn’t even think of asking you for help 'til you physically dragged me away from crawling underneath the couch and- and”, he caught a quick breath, before continuing twice as fast “And I’m clearly not fit to be a good and supportive husband to you when I can’t even keep my shit together over a trifle like this, and just bottle up instead of asking for help, when I disappointed you and Susu with acting like an actual five-year-old and I don’t even know wh-" 

The rest of the sentence was muffled by Rhodey’s lips on his, taking the breath for further rambling straight out of his lungs. The first sobs escaped Tony, and Rhodey switched to covering his face with pecks, kissing away the tear on his temple, brushing a thumb over the corner of his mouth until it lifted up into a tiny smile. Underneath him, Tony’s body was pliant now, and he just let Rhodey shield him from the world. 

“Sweetheart. Dearest idiot mechanic. You may have synthesized a new element, but being brilliant apparently made you forget that you threw no less than seven birthday parties for your bots. And that I attended all of them. Going feral over a missing cat is not what makes me love you less, it’s what made me fall for you in the first place. You care about things most people wouldn’t even notice. The only idiot here? Clearly me for waiting so long with proposing and finally make you mine, with all your quirks. If you want, that is,” he added quickly. 

And now Tony beamed, and he sobbed, and he hiccuped all at once, and goodness gracious how did he manage to look so disastrous yet so beautiful, Rhodey would never get used to this. Slender fingers tugged on his neck, pulling him into another kiss. 

“Of course I wanna marry my Platypus. ‘course I wanna be yours”, Tony muttered against his lips, the tears rolling down his face not only his now. Rhodey smiled into the kiss, hands finding their way into Tony’s hair, lips trailing down the arch of Tony’s neck like they did countless times before. And when he got a soft, delicate moan as an answer it really couldn’t get any better- Only that it could. 

“Hang in there for a sec”, Rhodey muttered and got up, scurrying over to where he left the ring on the dresser, with Susu guarding it like a fluffy loaf of bread. He reached for the box when a streak of muffled cusses erupted behind him. 

“G’dammit Jonathan! Off my face you fuzzy bastard I’m. Not. Catnip!” 

Rhodey turned around just in time to see the big grey tabby stretching out contentedly all over Tony’s head, as if he were his favourite toy. Tony’s efforts to get Jonathan off of him were sabotaged by Mochi, who had entered the room along with the older cat, and now took a seat on Tonys arm, making it useless in the man’s attempt to not suffocate. Rhodey grabbed both Susu and the box and hurried over to save his boyfriend - no! - his fiance. 

“Didn’t strike you as the one to wear fur, Tones”, he quipped as he lifted the tabby off of Tony. Jonathan shot him a disgraceful look, before he scattered off to see if he could find some more of the treats Tony spilt earlier; Mochi and Susu followed heel. While Tony sat up and wiped the cat hair off his face with his shirt, Rhodey smiled down on him, opening the box once more to finally place the ring where it belonged. The small ‘click’ made Tony look up; and when Rhodey reached for his hand, and the cool metal settled against his flesh, his smile didn’t falter for a second. 

“So, Babe,” Rhodey spoke after a minute of silence. He leaned forward until their lips met, softly pushing further, and Tony let himself sink back all too willingly. “Wanna pick up where we left off?”

[spnfanficpond]

May Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE MAY’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis 

The Things We Don’t Believe In by @thecleverdame 

This series has more drama than a soap opera! It’s an ABO Sam AU where the Winchesters own a huge company and are stupidly rich. Then Sam meets his true mate, who is working at a grungy bar as a bartender. Worlds collide, and not in a good way! This is a great story well told and everyone should read it!

What Lies Beneath by @thewhiterabbit42

It took me through most of my first reading of this one shot to figure out what’s going on (because I’m slow on the uptake, sometimes), but once I did... WOW! I had to go back and read it all again to appreciate it! No spoilers, but this is an awesome idea well executed and everyone should read it!!

On My Mind by @girl-next-door-writes 

This is SO CUTE!! I love me some flustered Sam, and this is cute, flustered Sam at his best. So freaking adorable!

Nominated by @risingphoenix761 

Blood in Bed by @slytherkins 

There aren’t nearly enough Drowley fics out there, and this one hasn’t gotten nearly the attention it deserves. Tara has a gift for snark, which is a must-have for writing Crowley, and she nails demon!Dean with smug, cocky finesse. A nice, cheeky, angsty look into what could have happened while they were howling at the moon, and an appropriately moody ending. I love the banter. I love the pining. I need more people to read this! 

Just a Bug by @impala-dreamer

This was a surprise, even with what I’ve come to expect from Beka. It’s short and sweet with a shot of blech and so fluffy. So fluffy!!

When In Rome by @slytherkins 

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: there aren’t enough Drowley fics to be had. Which makes this one twice as satisfying! Tara nails Crowley being Crowley and it’s glorious, but what really blew me away here was Dean. Holy smokes! I didn’t know whether I wanted him to keep fighting or give in, his perception was so well handled. It would have been very easy to get something wrong with his character here, but that never happened. And read the warnings for sure… This one’s DARK.

Nominated by @emilyshurley 

Dear Dean by @purpleskiesandcherrypies 

I don’t have enough words to describe how much I adore this fic. At first i wasn’t sure if I would like a WWII story but I fell in love with how cute Bambi and Dean are together.

Nominated by @manawhaat

Dear Readers (drabble) by @atc74​

THESE. WORDS. ARE. SO. IMPORTANT.

This is not only a very believable letter to readers from Journalist!Jared, but it’s also something so JARED in character. The message, the sentiment, the way he’s so open with the fandom, how encouraging he is...all of that incredible shit that Jared is is echoed in this letter. It’s so well done and so beautifully honest. The message in this is so important, and I really hope that it can be shared so people can see it.

Lost In The World (drabble) by @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish

This is short and sweet and meaningful. Dad!Dean is always a thing that tugs at my heart strings, and the kind of hope and strength he portrays in this, even if it’s quiet and coupled with worry and uncertainty, is so Dean and so important for people struggling with mental illness. Finding hope, solace, and comfort in fanfiction is a powerful thing, and that light and support shines through in this sweet little gem! 

Insomnia (oneshot) by @rowdyhooliganism

This is one of the sexiest Benny fics, hell, one of THE sexiest fics I’ve read in a while. There’s wit and sass and an undeniable pull and tension between them. The heightened vamp senses and the way they play into this kills me. I’m a sucker for a big fucker and the way Benny is portrayed in this really showcases the big brute’s size. Seriously, it’s just fucking good so go read it okay?

Tell Sam (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

I’m a slut for dubcon, for rough!Winchesters, and this portrayal of purgatory!Dean really fucking delivers on so many levels. Rhi’s characterization is spot on, as always, and it all feels so dangerous and gritty. It’s painful and scary and heartbreaking and riveting and makes you feel guilty for wanting it so badly. 

Nominated by @fictionalabyss 

The Broom Is Not A Toy by @sorenmarie87 

When the idea for it hit me,  I was so happy to hand it off to her and see what she could do, and she didn’t disappoint with it. Adorable panda cubs refusing to let Dean just do his work? perfect. I really want to join in on the panda habitat fun now.

Love Shouldn’t Hurt by @sorenmarie87 

HEED THE WARNINGS. It’s a tough subject, the likes of which we don’t normally see from Dawn, but she did great with it. I had the pleasure of being her beta for this piece, and it not only came out fantastic, but really shows her growth as a writer.

You’re Mine by @coffee-obsessed-writer 

I happened across this one this morning and damn near died. It’s so well written and I’ve never wanted a dom!Jensen more in my life.

Nominated by @wi-deangirl77 

Standing Here by @plaidstiel-wormstache 

I want to nominate this fic by @plaidstiel-wormstache because she does something wonderful with the age old trope of someone pining for the person they can’t seem to have. It’s brilliantly written and incorporates the perfect song to encapsulate the theme of the fic. It’s all the angst, but it’s beautiful angst.

Nominated by @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish 

His Property (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr 

What can I say about this story other than it’s freaking amazing?! I binged the first five chapters before I got added to the tag list and as I said AMAZING! Love the way the characters are being written and the change in POVs is being handled beautifully! Keep up the fantastic work and I can’t wait to see where this story goes! 

House of the Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage 

Oh. My. Gosh. What can I say about this story except that I will be rereading it and reblogging it to explain just how much I love it. The first time I read it I truly forgot to hit reblog (because I am a horrible person) but I was so lost in the story and the intricate world that had been woven by dark queen Rhi that the real world kind of escaped me. Please accept my most humble apologies.

Check and Mate by @kittenofdoomage 

WOW! I’ve been on a dark!Sam kick lately so this story is perfection!! I loved everything about it, I don’t even think I could narrow it down to a favorite part, although, “bathe in the rivers of destruction” is a brilliant line!

Outside the Iron by @kittenofdoomage 

As I told Rhi “who gave you the right to give me this many feels?! I am not ok and was not expecting to feel this much so early in the morning, so, ya, thanks for that. But really, that was a freaking **work of art** and I loved every word of it! She is a freaking genius writer and everything she writes gives me some kind of feels.

Bed of Roses (series) by @crispychrissy 

What doesn’t this fic have?  mob fic (a personal favorite of mine)? check. most genres of fan fic? check. a kick butt reader that I dream of being? check. spot on characterization? check. Basically a recipe for an amazing story, which it is!

You’re Mine by @coffee-obsessed-writer 

This was so good in oh so many ways! Love me some Dom!Jensen and this story is great as a stand alone or a great intro to a (mini) series. Not sure what the author has in mind but I am happy either way.

The Mobster’s Girl (series) by @fictionalabyss 

I have been following this series for a long time and have loved seeing the journey of the reader and Sam, both separately and together. I think my personal favorite would be the original Mobster’s Girl set, seeing Sam try to win her over, and then eventually just exert himself as the mobster he is was fantastic.

Songs of a Caged Bird by @manawhaat 

I love a good twisted Winchesters story and Mana did a fan-freakin-tastic job of portraying the boys as twisted while still keeping them in character. Her portrayal of them just felt so spot on to me and I just adore this fic!

The Moonlight ‘Verse (series) by @thecleverdame [link is to George’s masterlist where you can find the links to all of the parts)

So many good stories in this 'verse but A History of Violence Parts 1 & 2 are my two favorites because everybody gets a little bit sassy and that’s always fun! The characters and the settings are very well written and I enjoy reading anything written by George!

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[bamby0304]

Bamby’s Recs: Aug 2018

This Month’s Recommendations Are…

Feathers by @acreativelydifferentlove

I don’t really get into wing kink, but holy poo this was hot!! Michael!Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader anyone?? 💙

Heal by @kittenofdoomage

A heartfelt and angsty series that’ll rip your heart out. But don’t worry, Jensen is right there for you 💙

Objectified by @covered-byroses

I didn’t ask for this delicious Soulless!Sam x Reader x Demon!Dean work of art... but I’m 100% thankful for it 💙

Save Him by @kittenofdoomage

Some how she’s managed to do it again. A three piece fic full to the brim of angst, smut, fluff and tooth-biting suspense 💙

Tattoo with a Twist by @crispychrissy

Dean trusting her to that point... jeez that's hot 💙

The Edge of Okay by @shy-violet-soul

I didn’t actually read the fic. Still, they reached out to me with a PM and asked me to read their work, and when I explained why I couldn’t they were very understanding, so I still wanted to add them to this list 💙

The Perfect Storm by @crispychrissy

Alpha!Soulless!Sam by crispychrissy, do I need to say anymore?? 💙

The Taboo is in the Blood by @iavengesuperwholock

A Dean x sister!Reader and Sam x sister!Reader that I absolutely love. Hell, the whole Masterlist is incredible 💙

You Know Better by @xteenwolfwritingsx

A Peter hale x Reader fic that I fell in love with last year. It was updated for the first time in ages this month, and I legit squealed like a little girl I got so excited 💙

In Celebration of Appreciation Day This Month...

@acreativelydifferentlove​

Can’t Fight Fate has got to be one of the best RPF ABO fics I have ever read. There’s the intense smut straight off the bat, and then you’re hit with immense angst. Only to find yourself smothered by all the fluff. Is there anything acreativelydifferenlove can’t do?? 💙

@cleverdame​

My go-to Alpha!Sam!girl. There are far too many amazing pieces to pick from, but I would have to say that one of my all time faves of hers (which isn’t even ABO) is By Way of Celestial Navigation. The little bit of smut in the fic so far is incredibly hot, and the rest has you sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation for what’s to come 💙

@covered-byroses

I only discovered their work this month, and I’ve already recommended Objectified, but that doesn’t mean I’m not giving them another shout out because that fic was amazing 💙

@crispychrissy

Two word- Tentacle. Porn. No, I’m kidding!! I mean, I’m not. She really does have an amazing smut fic with some tentacle action going on- it’s called Octo-Dean. But she has a lot of amazing fics. Considering the two of us are pretty much on the same level of fussy, it really shouldn’t be a surprise that I love her work 💙

@emilyevanston

My go-to Bucky!girl. I haven’t read a lot of her stuff, because I’ve only dipped my toe into the Marvel universe, but her fic Skin Contact is so good. Memorable, honestly 💙

@evansrogerskitten​

There are several fics I could recommend, but out of all of them I have two favourites. Undiscovered- angsty and smutty, and a Winchester sandwich that breaks my heart while quickening my pulse. High For This- one of the few John fics that I actually like… probably because of all the delicious Sam and Dean action we get as well. The masterlist is filled with incredible pieces, done by an amazing person, but these two I just can’t shake… and I wouldn’t have it any other way 💙

@flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash​

One of my OG girls!! Her fic Irresistible Danger is one of the reasons I found myself on this site. Her fic Underneath Your Skin is the reason I fell for Peter Hale. A fiercely talented woman who write for many fandoms and is perfection on every level, there is no way I couldn’t add her to this list 💙

@iavengesuperwholock

We’ve got Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Marvel... so many fandoms, so many awesome fics. A couple faves of mine?? Definitely have to be Taboo in the Blood and A Man’s Control, A Beast’s Obsession, just to name a couple 💙

@ilostmyshoe-79

Her series, Writing is Hard, breaks the fourth wall in ways I never imagined possible. The reader is a hunter who reads fanfics based on her and the brother, only to then have Dean suggest they write their own fics… which leads to ten incredible chapters of mind blowing smut. Don’t even get me started on her series Faking It!! Or The Escort!! Everything she writes is… just wow 💙

@impala-dreamer

A legend in the Supernatural fanfic fandom, impala-dreamer is by far one of the best writers I have ever come across. There is nothing she can’t write, and very little she won’t. If I need to cry, laugh or smile, her masterlist is the place to go. But, out of them all, I would definitely have to say that Reflection is my fave fic of hers 💙

@jessieinthewild

New to the Tumblr world, they’ve already made their mark. Strange Empire‘s plot is so different, so creative, so out of the box. I know Jessie has been off line for a bit, but I’m still happily waiting for see what happens next 💙

@kas-not-cas

If you haven’t read Shocking Sensations, you need to jump on that immediately. There are a few fics in her masterlist that catch the eye, especially Flirting with Death, which I hope she gets back to. But I understand the hiatus, and have no intention on rushing her, because work this amazing takes time 💙

@kellyn1604​

Another one of the people that brought me to this site. If it wasn’t for her fic Sunny Days I don’t think I would have ventured from ff.net and come here. Her writing opened up doors I’d never thought to touch before. I thank the universe for giving us JDM, because without him I don’t know if I would have come across kellyn1604 and her amazingly written smut 💙

@kittenofdoomage​

Honestly... here’s the link to her Masterlist, because there is no way I could pick out just one, two or three fics to link here. Everything, and I mean everything she writes is gold. I live for everything she creates 💙

@littlegreenplasticsoldier

“Yeah I Have a Great Dean” is, by far, the best dog!Dean fic I have ever read. The third part?? Holy shit!! Wouldn’t it be Nice? Was the first ABO fic I ever read. Seriously, her work is unique in the best way. She knows how to tell a story as if she were actually telling the story to you, face to face. It’s refreshing and amazing, like nothing I’ve seen before 💙

@moonlitskinwalker​

Once more, another talented friend of mine, only this time it wasn’t so hard to pick a fave... Reluctant Trilogy drew me in for the smut, but had me coming back for more because of everything else. A fic that had a plot I wasn’t expecting, but I still fell for every single word 💙

@pink1031

Her fic, Dirty Little Secret, tested my boundaries. It helped push my limits. In the end that meant I got to enjoy a fic I would have otherwise forgone and I’m so grateful I decided to keep reading 💙

@saxxxology

Another Sam!girl who has some delicious ABO fics. I cannot go passed What You Need, False (Or Not) Positive or Celebrate Survival. Plus, totally not related to fics, but still very important... have you heard of @scentsfromthebunker?? The blog where you can actually buy scents inspired by people and things from Supernatural?? Yeah, this is the genius behind that gift from Chuck 💙

@sis-tafics​

An inspiring human being and talented writer, sis-tafics is yet another queen when it comes to smut. Her fic, Our Little Secret, is the reason I decided to give reader inserts ago. Break a Little inspired me to break down the wall and write out of the box Omegas. She is incredible, truly something, and I am grateful for all her amazing works 💙

@squirrel-moose-winchester​

I’m a little biased here, because she’s my friend, but that doesn’t make her any less talented. The Squirrel to my Moose, she has an amazing list of fics. My fave?? A Night to Remember 💙

@superprincesspea

The last of the OGs, one of the three women who brought me to Tumblr. Her series The Honey House shows a side to Negan that isn’t always brought to light. Knock almost lets me forget Simon’s terrible character development in the show. The way she writes characters we love and know makes it feel as if she’s made them herself, broken them up and made them her own. Absolutely amazing 💙

@teamfreewill-imagine​

One of the first RPFs, especially centred around Jared, that I read. The first Gen fic I’ve read. I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) is one of those fics that... what’s the saying?? It’s a gift that keeps on giving 💙

@wheresthekillswitch​

I still can’t get over Smoulder. That’s where my obsession for thigh riding began, and I refuse to look back!! There are plenty of other incredible fics on their masterlist, which I strongly encourage everyone to read 💙

@xteenwolfwritingsx

You Know Better was the first Peter Hale series I fell in love with, and the fic that brought me to this incredible Teen Wolf writer. Seriously excited to see where the fic goes 💙

@yourvoiceislikearose​

My bestie!! Just beginning to write, she’s testing the waters to see what she likes to write, but no matter what she does it’s all good. Her first go at smut, You Owe Me?? I wouldn’t have even known it was her first if she hadn’t told me. A budding writer I look forward to see blossom 💙

Not to Toot My Own Horn…

Bamby’s Double Delight

The pairing drabbles for my 2000 follower celebration 💙

Can You Feel It?

My submission for @sis-tafics‘ challenge 💙

Dangerous Dance

Soulless!Sam x exotic dancer!Reader miniseries 💙

[phaniecastello-blog]

((This is the second fic. Thanks to Claire, again, for the rp with @nathaniel-schreave . Maybe two fics in a raw is too much, but I want to start rping with the rest of the royals and I needed to write this first to do it. ))

Baby Bambi and the Prince

The day passed and the thoughts about the magazine thing keep coming to my mind, occasionally thinking of the possible guilty ones.

I put on my black leggings and top, then looked on my suitcase for my ballet shoes; the ones I used to carry everywhere I travel, no mattering I didn’t really know how to dance; and headed to the gym. Practicing the few steps I had learned in Miss Dorothy’s class, watching the ballerinas, during the month I went there to do my sketches; always had helped me to relax.

First, soutenu, fifth,  balance, balance, balance, pique turn, fifth… and repeat

First, soutenu, fifth,  balancè, balancè, balancè, pique turn…

“Oh sorry am I interrupting you?” When I turned, even when he was far inches from me, my eyes met his light brown, lovely eyes and I jolted

“Oh, no, no at all. I'm just fooling around, here” I answered, putting my heels back on the floor.

“It looked really good” Prince Nathaniel said.  A sense of pride filled my chest. Practicing those 3 steps during all this time was worthy, after all.

I chuckled “Do you really think so?” He nodded “Yeah, it was really good... I can’t remember are you a professional?”

The fact that I only knew the basic steps and a few turns, didn’t let me hold back the laugh. Scared that he might think I was laughing at him, I apologized. “I'm sorry, it's funny because those steps you just saw…” I pointed at the center of the floor “...are the only steps I know” I covered my face in embarrassment

“They were really good. I can’t even balance on one leg so that’s impressive”

I chuckled “It's a matter of practice... take it from me. I mean, I always wanted to take ballet classes, but... I... wasn't able to, so, I just practice the same 3 steps again and again. I was starting to feel uncomfortable for being the topic of the conversation. Maybe it was time to mention the obvious. “But hey, you look...good, I mean sporty, sporty is always good…” I had never been the best at compliments, but it was impossible not to make one when I was in front of a handsome man like him.

He looked down at his outfit as if he hadn’t remembered what he was wearing and chuckled “It’s probably weird seeing me in something other than nice clothes”

“Mhmm, weird is not the word I have in mind. Tell me what's your secret to look good with anything you wear?”

He took some time to think “Here’s the secret, first I find what I want to wear. Second, I put it on, then I get called amazing” He laughed at his own joke.

“I guess, it doesn't work for everyone” I shrugged. “So, do you have some kind of routine or?” I walked with him through the zone where all kind of gym equipment was. All kind of benches, dumbbells, pull up and pull down bars, etc.

He shrugged “Not really, today’s leg day so I’m about to have a lot of fun” He answered chuckling.

“I’m so not good at exercising…” I confessed  “that’s why I dance instead or at least try” I scuffed at the last sentence.

“It's kinda fun when you get into it, especially when you are really getting into your music.”

“Oh, yes, I understand the music part” I smiled because I liked to do all my activities listening to music, it helped me concentrate. Some instrumental pieces for dancing and drawing and indie/pop for anything else. “Which songs do you have in your "working out" playlist? Some Rocky style ones? I winked.

“Not really just some good old classics” He laughed

He unplugged his headphones for me to listen to the High School Musical song he was listening to

“Sounds motivating!” I nodded

“It really is!”

I could stay there talking with him for hours, but he was there to work out and I felt like I was disturbing him. I didn’t want to be guilty of stopping those muscles to keep growing. The entire country would hate me. “Now I'm the one who feels like is interrupting... I will leave you to do your work out” I said smiling.

“Oh you don't have to, you can stay. I don't mind” He smiled back at me.

I hesitated for a while and then decided to stay with him for a while. “I guess I can stay to do some leg, too” I said looking down at my legs “...which I need with urgency”

“Yeah, I can show you how.” He walked towards the leg extension machine and I followed  “First, I like this machine” he said pointed at it. “this one is really easy and a good beginning one” “Oh yeah, I had used that... it’s the one that makes me walk like baby Bambi the day after using it” Every time my mom forced me to exercise, a couple of months before a collection is out, I have to quit using high heels, cause my body hurt for days. He laughed “It's not that hard. He said sitting on the machine and doing a quick demonstration. “Easy” I noticed that the machine had a high weight for him to lift   “It really looks easy when you do it... okay, let me try”

“You got this” I tried to lift my legs but they hardly moved two inches from the ground “pff! I’m great at this” I said giving up. Nate got closer to the machine to low the weight “Here try this”

I tried again and succeeded. “...easy!” I said after muttering a piece of “We are all in this together” lyrics. “If you weren’t a prince I would suggest you to be a gym instructor” I joked. “No, I’m nowhere near being a professional, Jace. Jace is the pro here” “You would be a musician, am I right?” I guessed, smiling

He bobbed his head back and forth “I’m not so sure. I like what I do, it’s weird to think I could do something any different” I nodded.  Maybe he felt like I did. Besides the fact, I didn’t like most of the people involved in the fashion industry, I had always felt good on the runway, wearing the masterpieces that a whole team of professionals tailor. But I also had the dream of having my own art gallery, where I could show my drawings to the world. I was sure I could do both things, in that way I could be able to feel complete, but Loretta never had let me to “distract” myself from my job. In that last detail, he had an advantage. Supportive parents. Music was an important part of him, but he was also doing an amazing job as the Crown Prince of Illèa and I had always admired that; I used to talk to Nancy about it, every time we saw him at the report.“Yes, I know you like it because you are doing a good job... it’s not like I know much about politics” then I muttered “I actually know less than I should...”  “but what I see on tv and the news..., I think you are doing great” “Thanks, that means a lot”

“... I like what I do too, but I don’t LOVE it... Maybe I should do something else”

Did I say or thought that? “Do whatever makes you happy” He said giving me a genuine smile I smiled back getting back to the exercising thing. After a few lifts, I stopped. “Do you think this would be enough to have good legs for a whole year?”

“Yeah, next year is pretty soon” Nate smirked

I hide my face behind my hand feeling stupid. “You are right! ... How do you celebrate Christmas, here, by the way? Any special tradition? Someone dresses like King Claus?” I pointed upstairs.

Am I saying these to see him laughing again? Yes.

And it worked. He laughed “No. I think Christmas here is just like Christmas everywhere else. Like we exchange presents and such but nothing special. And no traditions in this family, shocking I know” “All that is great, I mean, being with your family and all that it’s more than what I do…” Then I remembered “ I haven’t met any of them yet” His face looked shocked “Really? Max is probably roaming the halls waiting for some girl to talk to him *laughs and rolls his eyes* Mal is well... Mal I don’t know where she could be same with Quinn. Brooks is probably in a library reading, he’s been doing that a lot more recently, not sure why though.” She shrugged. “I have heard stories about Max, he sounds like a really …” I looked for the right word to describe him “...friendly guy. I hope I can meet them, soon or maybe I will be lucky on a visit to the library” “You’ll be lucky if you don’t run into him” “Can’t be that bad…” I smirked. I stand up from the leg extension machine and he offered me his hand to help me get out of it.

A prince indeed.

“I should go to sleep now and stop distracting you. Thank you for the lessons” “Okay well night, Stephanie” “Goodnight, your highness” “Nate, you can call me Nate” He said smiling.

“... Nate, I will see you tomorrow” I said with a gin, and it didn’t go away until I fall asleep that night. Maya was right, I should focus on showing the people who I really was.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: Elizabeth Olsen: a superstar for our times

  EVENING STANDARD – With her indie flicks and blockbuster roles, Elizabeth Olsen has cultivated the kind of career most actresses dream of. She tells Tiffanie Darke about her famous sisters, her fears for America and how she plans to build her empire

  It’s a sweltering day downtown in the Bowery, the sort of humid August heat when it feels like Manhattan is melting. Boys in artful sarongs and beards cruise the sidewalk, girls in high-waisted cut-offs and snapbacks lean against open-air bars. It’s noon, and no one dares move too fast.

  But Elizabeth Olsen is not hot. In fact, she says she has frostbite in her fingers. Wearing black Calvin Klein jeans she picked up for $20 in a vintage store, slim black ankle boots and an oversized Altuzarra blouse, she’s been in air-conditioned TV studios doing interviews all morning and needs to defrost. She has asked that we meet in Il Buco, a rustic Italian restaurant with the sort of premium paysan menu you’d recognise from places such as the River Cafe. This, she confides, is her favourite restaurant in New York: ‘My sisters have been bringing me here for my birthday since I was 15.’

  Ah yes — her sisters. Mary-Kate and Ashley, the button-cute Disney twins who grew up in the full glare of the public eye, then reinvented themselves as fiercely private fashion entrepreneurs (their label, The Row, is as hot as ever, and they now own high-end concept boutiques in New York and LA). Elizabeth — or Lizzie as she introduces herself — shares their delicate features: blonde locks, Bambi eyes and symmetrical porcelain face. But what’s intriguing about this sister is that she can turn those looks to power.

  Six years after she burst on to the scene with a critically acclaimed performance in the indie flick Martha Marcy May Marlene, her carefully chosen roles have included Scarlet Witch in the unstoppable Marvel franchise, Avengers; Audrey Williams, Hank Williams’ wife and manager in the biopic I Saw the Light; and most recently, FBI agent Jane Banner in Wind River, a harrowing story of rape and murder set on a Wyoming Native American reservation, directed by Oscar-nominated Taylor Sheridan.

  This is the kind of career about which most actors dream: balancing respected low-budget independents with blockbuster international fame. Olsen, it becomes clear, possesses an acute understanding of how to make the business work for her. Doing films like Avengers ‘allows you to sell a film to investors’, she explains, as she helps herself to black kale salad and slivers of pata negra. ‘It gives you recognition in an international market. You then have more freedom of investors for independent films.’ At 28 she has also finally launched herself on social media, having created an Instagram account last year. Under the guidance of her friend, the comedian and actress Aubrey Plaza, she is using it to simultaneously cultivate her fan base and poke fun at herself (check out Olsen’s ‘Feed me Friday’ posts featuring unflattering paparazzi shots of her eating). But she also has an eye on the prize. Any aspiring actor who wants to pick up a commercial deal needs a sizeable social media following. And those commercial deals give you exactly the sort of fame you need to get those independent film projects off the ground. ‘That’s why George Clooney does Nespresso,’ she explains. So far Olsen has cameoed for Miu Miu, but now she’s ready for something more: ‘People want to be a part of something that’s giving back to something else. I would like to be a part of that because it’s something that I would be proud of. But it’s also something that would help me as an actor trying to get films made.’

In this way Olsen is classic New Hollywood — clever, independent, well behaved, working the system. And like every good millennial, she is also strong on activism. ‘It’s horrible to think how the rest of the world is viewing the United States right now. You don’t really know how to fix it as an individual because you can’t. What is cool about what’s happening right now, however, is that while people have always talked about causes that they are interested in, now they are actually actively a part of them.’

  Research for her role in Wind River has only made her more socially aware. ‘I ended up visiting the rape treatment centre in Santa Monica. It’s an amazing facility, for adults and minors. I was like, “What could I actually do?”’ Volunteers run the playroom, so Olsen went through a training course. When she finished filming, she returned to volunteer and now makes it a habit every Tuesday. ‘Going and playing cards with a bunch of really sweet people and just making them feel like a kid when they’re going through a traumatic experience — that to me is something I can walk away and be happy with… You make connections. If you go at the same time every week you see the same people. I see the same people every week when I’m in town. It’s a beautiful community… It’s really an incredible, supportive place. I love being a part of it.’

  It’s no surprise that Wind River led her down other paths. Based on the true stories of the writer and director Taylor Sheridan following the years he lived on a reservation, it shines a light on the loophole in American law that lets those who commit a crime on a reservation (an area of land managed by a Native American tribe, rather than the state government) walk away free if they are not charged within the boundary lines. Given the limited police resources for investigating crimes within these vast jurisdictions, there are numerous undocumented cases of missing Native American girls. No national register exists to account for them. ‘It’s just another example of how we’ve screwed over this group of people from the beginning of this country,’ says Olsen.

  We’re chatting easily now; this is usually the point at which the interviewer attempts to find out if her celebrity is going to divulge any details of who she is dating/fancying/breaking up with. Olsen has been linked to a few leading men in the past, including Tom Hiddleston and singer-songwriter Robbie Arnett. But I can’t quite bring myself to ask. The thing I liked most about Wind River was the absence of a romantic play. With Jeremy Renner — a local hunter whose own missing daughter and broken marriage haunt his every move — taking the title role opposite Olsen, you would expect the actress’s FBI agent to step in as romantic saviour. But she doesn’t. There is no love affair concluding the movie.

  ‘Taylor had to fight people on it,’ says Olsen. ‘Because some people want that to happen. They think that it’s going to make it a better movie or more people would want to see it. Which was one of the reasons I loved the script. It’s just a man and a woman having a partnership trying to figure out how to provide justice for this young girl.’ These are exactly the kinds of roles women want now. ‘The women in his film end up being the strongest. They’re the ones that fight for their life the hardest. He wanted the women to be the survivors.’

  The waiter, who has now begun to suspect that pretty blonde ‘Lizzie’ might be someone more important than a walk-in, is bringing offerings of oozing burrata to the table. It’s becoming clear why this is an Olsen family favourite — the deli round the corner, I’m told, is ‘insane’. Olsen says when she was at film school in New York (she studied at Tisch School of the Arts) she shopped there all the time. Then she remembers Pesantissimo in Primrose Hill, where she lived for a time while filming Avengers: Age of Ultron in 2014, and used as a pit stop off-licence as it had ‘amazing wine’. ‘If I could live in any city, I would want to live in London,’ she says. She was put up there by the Marvel team and hung out with her friends the Taylor-Johnsons, exploring as much of the city as she could by foot. ‘People from London thought I was insane walking from Primrose Hill to Shoreditch along the canal. I ended up having to stop and get blister pads.’

  I can imagine this. Despite her commercial and industry nous, Olsen is not a conventional starlet. She insists she hates the red carpet and finds fashion confounding and difficult — ‘It’s not my comfort zone,’ she shudders. A recent trip to the Paris couture shows was different. ‘I went to a Dior show and ended up getting to wear a look to the premiere in New York. I felt great that night just because I felt like I was in something that I love. Sometimes when I’m not in something that I love I cry on the way to the premiere and I’m posing with my shoulders as far back as they go. Then I look at the photos and I’m like, “It did look nice. Why was I crying?”’ Another revelation for her was this shoot for ES at The Whitby Hotel. ‘The photographer was great, we were in a cool hotel, it was a really great atmosphere. We had a great time. Like genuinely — I ended up getting in a bathtub at the end of it and got my hair wet. It was just fun.’

  She has recently bought a house in the Hollywood Hills, which she is renovating while she rents with a friend. Much of her family lives in LA; her parents, Jarnette, a personal manager, and David, a property developer and mortgage banker, divorced in the mid-Nineties and she has a brother and two half siblings: ‘We have weekly family get-togethers, either my dad cooking at my place or the occasional Valley sushi spot. Sometimes it feels like a lot of things to fit in but it’s good we do it.’ While in New York, though, she is enjoying catching up with Mary-Kate and Ashley: ‘I just had dinner with Ashley when the premiere was happening. She was very sweet to come with me to the after-party.’ She clearly adores them. ‘I just think they’re brilliant women. [On their shops] they’re like, “I like this. I like this world. I like art, I like architecture, I like photography, I like fashion,” and they’ve made it into a company… I’ll go visit them at the office and sit in a meeting if I’m in and out of town. They’ll be talking about piping or buttons [and] they have taught me about art.’

  Like many switched-on young women, Olsen sees herself in the round. The movie career she describes as a ‘part-time job’. On top of that she is also a reluctant fashion muse, fledgling brand ambassador and, most recently, rape crisis volunteer. It might be a lot to handle, but it also means that in these more uncertain times, if one thing goes wrong, there’s plenty more to fall back on. New Hollywood, indeed.

  ‘Wind River’ opens in cinemas on 8 September

        Gallery Links:

Studio Photoshoots > 2017 > Session 030

  Press: Elizabeth Olsen: a superstar for our times was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[paul-patts-blog]

Lauryl’s Wishlist and Resolutions

Berlioz

More Music Stuff: I’ve gotten to do stuff with Ber/music in the past but a lot of it has been me rping with me and sending him to festivals and concerts. I’d like to see him interact with some of the musically-inclined people in town-- maybe even collaborate? I have some subgoals for this:

Go to concert/festivals with another character: I think rping an arc would be so fun and I personally love concerts/festivals so.

Produce someone else’s music: Ber will be starting uni and having school projects...he will need guinea pigs.

Write more music blog stuff: I’ve done very few, rather casual posts in the past about artists Ber likes-- reviews etc. I would love to post more of this (maybe even through BDRP radio? /looks at radio)

Anxiety Arc: I really want Ber to start learning about his anxiety and working through it. Specifically, he needs to go to a therapist, haha.

Sexuality: Ber’s come a long way since I got him, but he still feels majorly ‘out of place’ in the LGBTQIA community. I’d like to explore more of those feelings somehow. I got a few ideas. 

Kiara

Discover her passions!! Kiara doesn’t really know what she wants to do with her life and I want her to try a bunch of stuff as she figures it out. So does your character have a cool hobby? Let Kiara do that cool hobby with ur character!

Race and Identity: one important thing for me when I got Kiara and picked Halsey was dealing with her struggle with her appearance and how she felt ‘out of place’ with the Lyons and as a POC in general. I’d like to explore this conflict more.

Continue to deal with her issues: Kiara needs to keep going to therapy and she needs to admit to herself she has problems that she is denying please my daughter. 

Best Friend to lovers: I think this trope would be rly good for Kiara because too often she sees people as “romantic options’ first and not as the people they really are. I would love a slow burn romance for Kiara that surprises both her and me, really.

Hades (oh boy)

Re-learn how to use his powers-- and maybe the way to do this is to like.. do something heroic tbh? instead of always burning people up and fuckin’ everyone UP. Yeah, I want Hades to do something heroic. 

Leave Swynlake: I want Hades story to take him away from Swynlake and back again

Chester

Pending tbh you will all see

Milla

Board stuff: specifically, I’d like to see Milla start enacting new strictures for magicks. I’d love for her to try to manipulate this type of stuff through the other board members

Get a magical object or something magical: Whether through the Merlin’s objects or otherwise, I would love Milla to actually seek magic herself.

MILF Reigns Supreme: I love exploring Milla’s sexuality-- it’s one of my fave things that i’ve done with her. I’d love her to get more boy toys (maybe even girl toys) and tbh, I would be open, if it’s right, to have that relationship get more complicated than just sex.

Miscarriage: That being said, this is a rather dark storyline but Milla is obsessed with control and to miscarry would be-- the opposite of having control. Anyone up for it?

Nala

RP her more in general lmao

Get her more female friends!! She really doesn’t have a lot of good female relationships (part of that is because many of her relationships have ended up dropping). But Nala deserves more friendships

Take Nala on dates! I also want Nala to try to date a little. She’s so work-focused, like lots of my characters, so this would be a new side to her that I haven’t gotten to explore

Have Nala literally kick ass/para with some sort of physical/action element to it: Okay so we say it jokingly, but after Nala’s surgery and recovery I’d love for her to actually whoop somebody’s ass even if it’s just while going back to kickboxing. Nala’s identity as an athlete is super important to her-- whenever I write about Nala’s relationship to her body, I get chills, because she loves her body so much and is so centered in it. So it would be fun to do a physical-heavy para.

Smut tbh for the same reasons as i just said.

Milo

Also rp him more in general lmao

Finish merlin’s objects/write more essays

Finish Cave Excavation-- find a Merlin’s object

Desk sex

Wow these are all so specific unlike my others

Explore his sexuality: Milo is definitely somewhere on the ace spectrum  (gray, demi what have u) and so exploring that with his girlfriend Jane (maybe she’s into it one night, he’s not, she wants to try stuff that he doesnt’... u know, just those kinds of conversations) would be really complicated and fun. As someone who is on the ace spectrum myself, It’s also kind of important to me to try to honor that side of him and acknowledge it in play-- along WITH the smut.

Slay a demon/be a hero: ok bc just think about nerdy milo thatch with his glasses all askew having accidentally saved the day. I love it.

Kiki

Get kidnapped: Kiki has powerful magic blood come get her

Break her broom

Best Friends to lovers/ slow burn romance: mentioning this for kiki too, since Kiki hasn’t been kissed ever and is very romantic, I’d love to play out a good ol’ teen romance with someone. But consideirng Kiki’s crazy hectic life, yeah, it’s gonna have to really evolve.

Rajah

TIGER OUT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE: For whatever reason-- to save them or because he’s scared or stressed or loses control.

Get injured: That being said, I’d love to have Raj get shot or get hurt while trying to do his job, mostly because Raj is a charge first, ask questions later type of guy but also because-- since he heals faster-- if he’s in the hospital, it could give him away. (Can anyone say hospital bREAK)

More friends! Raj has a few, but he needs 2 get out more smh

Introduce Jyoti to people: I want his little sister to come see him and I want Raj to have people to introduce her to! Jyoti will bring a lot of the past back to Raj’s life which he currently keeps super hidden.

Anita:

Biwakening. Make it happen.

Night on the town

One night stand tbh

Dating around-- specifically, blind date/double date with someone this would be hiLARIOUS for me

Stand up to someone (tbh Cruella)

Anita Explores Her Painting: Anita doesnt’ take her talent seriously and I want that to change. I’d love to do some more stuff with her art including--

Nude portraits anyone?

Anita teaches fingerpainting!! Anita gets her very own income and is thus empowered thru painting !!! ah!

Paint fight :D

More Volunteering: what i like about anita is that though she is an introvert, she loves to be involved in her community. If you have any town projects or somethin’ you need volunteers for, ask Anita!!

The Great Prince

Also get into a physical fight of some kind; i’d love for him to defend the forest or Bambi or somethin’ as the deer. I think RPing that would be really fun for me

Explore more areas of the forest: I’ve already started to invent some parts of the forest as I go, but I’d like to try to see if I can’t put Prince in some of these deeper parts. If your character wants to get lost in the woods-- hit me up.

Make more human connections/get in touch with his human side: Hopefully, Prince will be in town more and can make friends with people who are not animals haha.

Explore comic timing/situations with the Prince! The Prince doesnt’ know a lot about the human world-- like how to work technology-- so i want to put him in more situations where he is totally out of his element. The best way to do this will probably be with “The Great Prince Vs. Human-thing-here” starters. Be on the look out. (Or if u really want to have ur character help my poor deer son, message me).

Paul Pongo Patts

Okay he’s my newest babe so these r kinda repetitive from his app--

Start studying to maybe get into uni maybe ahhh my babe

Let himself go on dates: Paul kind of thinks that part of his life is over now that he has kids and he feels kind of guilty about that kind of stuff and so  I want him to go easy on himself. He deserves a night out and to feel like he is handsome, young and romantic bc darling u ARE handsome young and romantic.

That being said-- get wooed. Paul is a woo-er. Someone woo my woo-er.

Also mend things with Perdita/ rp them growing back together as friends and as two people who respect and care for each other and maybe-- just maybe-- lovers again.

DAD THINGS-- shopping for his kids, dealing with baby spit-up, babyproofing his apartment wow im like turned on by this lauryl calm ur eggs

Interact with Magicks: All KINDS of magicks please throw them at Paul

Consider illegal means of getting money… Paul has grown up around shady ppl and has since stayed clean of shady business himself. But that doesnt’ mean he doesn’t feel temptations. I’d like to exploooore those temptations.

My Character’s Personal Resolutions: 

Ber: “Don’t fuck up...anything.” 

Kiara: “lol” (tbh kiara is so lowkey depressed she liek?? has no resolutions help her) 

Hades: “Fix my mistakes.” 

Chester: pending

Milla: “Make Swynlake Great Again”

Milo: “Spend as much time as I can with Jane.”

Nala: “Get the Lyons Foundation off the ground / kick my physical therapy in the ass / be running by spring”

Rajah: “Repair things with my family. Live honestly-- be proud of who I am.” (ow raJJJ)

Kiki: “Make my family proud. Make Howl proud.” (ughh)

Anita: “Cause no more harm.” 

The Great Prince: “Be there for my son if he will have me.” 

Paul: “Be the greatest dad / provide for my kids.” 

[docandprof]

Are You Really Ready to Read This Much?

Guten Tag!

Moves have been made, am I right?! You are a big boy now! I know you last talked about how stressed life has been with so many unknowns floating around and being a source of disturbance in your life. As we move onto the next phase of life, our days become the work we do, the places we call home, and the people we spend time with and hold close. Any disruption of one of these aspects alone can wear and tear on a person and stretch them thin. But having almost all of those in flux, I can’t even imagine the internal stress you felt. But I know that you have started to piece some semblance of normalcy and establish a life for yourself. I cannot wait to see how you settle into a job that gives you experience in the field you ACTUALLY want to explore and make a home for yourself. It seems that half of our friends are experiencing the post-grad limbo of job hunting (unfortunately during a pandemic), while the other half of us are finding a little niche in the world to call our own, however temporary or beginner level it is. So from one bambi boy finding his legs in the wilderness of life to another, WELCOME TO THE GRIND! It feels pretty nice to just focus in on your job and not worry about what other million billion things for other classes and jobs and clubs you have to get done and in an excellent manner. So take a load off and grab a beer, it is time to reap the rewards of your hard work for the past years.

As you enter into the working grind, which you already know, I find it incredibly valuable to have some form of release and escape. Maybe this is the best time to figure out what that is and practice doing it because of the forced solidarity giving us the time at home to messed around. I know that should never be a problem for you to find some form of entertainment, as you are constantly reading or playing some game. I guess it helps that you work in the gaming industry and, being that games are kinda your life, playing them and experiencing them will always be a point of interest. So let me know what it is that you find to transport away from all the hustle and bustle. I would love to see what gets the juices flowing for you. Personally, outside of our DnD sessions, I have found a good source of release in my roommates as we joint-play games together. Our focus has been on these games with great narratives and characters, harkening more to cinematic experiences than a standard run and gun or rpg. For example, we are currently freeing a third world country from a dictator in Far Cry 3. Although a 1st person open world shooter at first sight, the story, visuals, and ability to choose your own story path are what drew us in and keep us coming back. I also just love the experience of playing a game with other people, as it strengthens the enjoyment of a normal game by allowing for a shared experience of a piece of art. Next on our list is The Last of Us, followed by part II. I am SUPER looking forward to seeing one of our favorite people’s character go through a pretty crazy situation. Lemme know of any other game recommendations that you have that remotely sound like what I have been describing.

And finally, the reason why this post has taken so long. I have been wrestling with the words and ideas that have been swirling around inside of me for the past couple months. I feel a mixture of embarrassment, anger, frustration, grief, and shock when I think about this. Most of all, I feel pain. So pardon me for however this comes out, as I still have yet to even fully put my own feelings into words that I feel describe what is going on. I want to pause here to take a beat to breath and also assure you that whatever comes next is not nearly as bad what you may be thinking now as you read. A lot of this stems from being blindsided by the whole circumstance, but I guess I should just get on with saying it. Last pause, as everything that we write in here is private, I want to emphasize how extremely private this is and would really appreciate your discretion. I just need someone to tell, and as I have made a vow to be more vulnerable with you, this is something I find very important. So as things in the world have gotten crazy, the craziness and destruction impact more than just the outside world, but those close to us. A few weeks after we graduated, my mom got news from work that she was going on furlough for an indefinite amount of time, and her position would be re-evaluated at the end of July, hoping that things would start settling back to normal. So for a few months, my mom was kind of in limbo, but she used that time to get a lot of priorities in order. She got pretty involved in church with the band and started singing more again, something that she hadn’t done in quite a few years. She also started helping with a charity my godparents started and found a lot of comfort helping out those with less in her time of uncertainty. But we thought all of this would be temporary, after all, she has been with the company for over 30 years and has been more than loyal. But at the beginning of July, she got a call from her boss saying they were gonna have to let her go. I know people lose jobs all the time, and even more so in today’s climate, but you never see it happening to your family and those that you love so dearly. When she called me to let me know, I could hear her holding back tears, trying to be strong. I was honestly at a loss for words when she told me. I felt enraged at the company for doing this to my mom. I was worried about what would happen to my parents’ plans for their own future, as my mom was kinda the bread winner for the family, which comes with having one parent owning and operating a small business all by himself. But mainly I just felt as if I had shattered into a million pieces that were flung into the wind. I love no person more in this world than my mom. She, no matter how much I didn’t want to hear it, taught me right from wrong, pushed me to reach for MY dreams, sacrificed WAY more of herself than any person should for another human. She is both the strongest and kindest person I have and ever will meet, yet there I was, on the phone with her during a really dark time in her life, and she was holding back tears still trying to be strong for me. I feel helpless in a situation like this! I am barely making enough money to look out for myself, let alone do anything to help my parents out! I know I can say nice, encouraging words, but I want to fix things and make everything good for them, for her. Without my parents, I would be nothing. So to see them go through this trial has really kind of messed me up inside for a couple months now. My mom has thought about going back to school because she never finished her degree, but schooling is NOT cheap. She is 53 now, she should be thinking about retirement in a few years and life outside of work right now, not going back to school just to make ends meet. I applaud her for how well she has taken this and how she continues to persevere in the face of opposition. I cried like a baby after I got off the phone with her that day in July. My parents are my rock in this life and I ache to see them in pain. I am lucky to have a brother that is certified in talking through bad experiences. He has been a big help. If there is a bright spot from all this, our family has grown a lot closer during these past few months, which hurts just a little bit more that I can’t go see my family and give my mom a hug. I miss them so much. The other positive is now my mom is free to pursue a work-life that she can choose. For too long she was doing this job to provide for us boys, but now she can do what has been on her heart. Luckily, she has a great support system around her that is in constant prayer for her and my dad. She got a call from their lead pastor a week ago, where they have a position they thought would be perfect for her coordinating the various community outreach programs the church is involved with. She never expressed interest in the position or sought out anything of the likes, she just popped into their mind and she has a meeting with the board of the church coming up. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I know this is probably by far the longest post I have written, but I needed to talk with someone about it. Again, I ask for discretion as we haven’t told many people about it. I am not sure who, if any of our friends’ parents know, as this is not my place to be telling others. As you are my confidant, I trust you with anything that I say and know that you will be there to support. So if others are to know, it should be and will be on my parents’ terms. Sorry for the heavy dump I just took here, but I appreciate you listening. I also hate to end on such a negative note, but it doesn’t feel right to end any other way. I will leave you with this, love those close to you and give your family an extra long hug when you see them next. Who knows what will happen between now and the next time.

With much love,

A

[ba1bphoebeowen]

The Art of Storytelling - You are a Storyteller

Note taking made during the Pixar lessons for the ‘art of storytelling’. A lot of  the content retraces the information we’ve already been told, but from the perspective of someone in the animated film industry.

I myself am more interested in animated television, but I thought that working through this might be helpful. 

https://www.khanacademy.org/partner-content/pixar/storytelling

(These notes were typed up originally on a word document so it’ll be messier here than where it was first typed up. I haven’t done all of the activities, but did the majority). 

Character  Story Structure Visual Language Film Grammar Pitching and Feedback

Why do you think you connected with these stories? Come up with at least one reason for each. What, if anything, do these three films have in common? How are they different? Three favourite movies - How to Train your Dragon: This film is about a human and a dragon becoming friends despite all odds, both of them being disadvantaged in some way. I think I was drawn in by the visuals first of all, but later it was the work that the characters put into their friendship. For me personally, I think it was the close bond the characters formed, because at the time of watching I didn’t have this and perhaps desired it. - Tangled: This is a retelling of the fairy tale ‘Rapunzel’. Rapunzel has a dream but is held back by her ‘mother’, and works with a rogue to achieve more than she anticipated. This film has a strong sense of passion for a goal and doing whatever it takes to achieve it, which is an idealistic desire I share with it. It also had a believable and cute romance shush. - Bambi: This older film follows a baby deer growing up and becoming the great prince to replace his father. Throughout the film Bambi endures happiness and hard times, a more realistic look at life despite the age rating, and as a child I think I could relate to this. It also had a minor theme of saving the forest / environment, something we learned a lot about at that age and fervently supported. These 3 films are all visually appealing and were obviously able to grab and hold my attention, and are definitely part of the reason I come back to watch them again. They all feature a character that feels lost and alone for at least one section of the film, before growing into more of a unit with friends and family.

‘What if’ questions How to train your dragon: What if dragons were real? Tangled: What if the princess was the hero? Bambi: What if deer lived in the forest?

What if fairies were real?

What if cats could talk?

What if magic was real?

What if the clouds were dying?

What if earthquakes happened every week?

Part A: Return to your 3 films. Identify the worlds and characters in each. Write these down.

Who are the main characters? - Hiccup and Toothless - Rapunzel and Flynn Rider (Pascal and Max) - Bambi, Bambi’s Mother, Thumper

Is there a character you identify with most? - Hiccup, he doesn’t fit in with the others but finds his way through his hobbies. - Rapunzel, she’s ‘trapped’ in one way or another, and her arc involves a strong theme of achieving her dreams. - Bambi, due to the amount of responsibility that was put on him so young. 

Where does the movie take place? Is it one world or multiple worlds? - How to train your dragon takes place in a single world on a single viking island, in a more medieval era. - Tangled takes place in a small section of a medieval kingdom, between a hidden tower and a bustling fantastical city. - Bambi fully takes place in a woodland forest, in an era where humans have gunpowder. 

Part B: Try mixing a character and world from different movies. Try this a few times and see what happens. - Hiccup in a woodland forest, modern(ish) era. Without the magical element of the dragons, Hiccup might have been in the same boat as he was at the start of his own film. Having a similar threat (as the humans are to Bambi) may be the same as the dragons, however, and perhaps he would try to stop the conflict by communicating with them. - Rapunzel on a viking island inhabited by dragons. It’s likely that due to Rapunzel’s nature she would have wanted to befriend the dragons, much like Hiccup was inclined to do. - Bambi in a fantastical world. Bambi’s story would have most likely been less tragic in these circumstances, as animals are seen as more humanoid to the characters. Perhaps he would have had the support of humans instead of them being a constant threat. 

Part C: Return to your three "what if" statements from the previous exercises. Pick your favorite one. Can you imagine a possible character and world? (Optional) Draw or write about what life would be like in this world. What if the clouds were dying? The main character may rely on the clouds for their survival, for water, or maybe they’re something insignificant that only the main character seems to care about. I think I would want to go for the character living within a larger population, and they are the only one that seems to notice the clouds and their usefulness. This would be a child character trying to warn the adults that something has changed in the clouds, and that it’s a bad sign for future harvests / their survival. None of the adults seem to take much heed however, but the main character feels stuck. They meet someone who agrees with their hypothesis and gives them something magical in order to start their journey, which will involve a lot of time in the sky. Perhaps there are cities in the sky that no one can see from the ground that she gets to explore. 

Always remember your initial feeling / idea when you’re refining something. 

Something that might affect you might not affect someone else in the same way, you need to find a way to get in touch with the whole audience’s emotions. 

Elevator Test: Put the character into an elevator and trap them there, see how they would react in a crisis. 

Step 1: Pick a character from one of your favorite films. How would they respond to being trapped in an elevator? Draw or write a single page about what happens. Rapunzel: She would be quite calm and logical in this situation and would be keen to find a way out.

Step 2: Return  to a character you are in the process of creating and do the same thing. Juniper: She would try to be calm but the situation of something not going exactly to plan would put her on edge. She would try to quickly find a way the fix the problem (pushing buttons, tapping the door to try and activate the missing mechanism etc), and if this didn’t work she would then start to panic. 

You want to be able to imagine the character in any situation and know what they would do / how they would react.

External features, internal features. Sometimes external features can suggest internal features when you’re designing the character’s personality. 

‘Characters have to come from authentic human emotions and experiences’, being based on real people that you know personally. These are things that are hard to make up on your own, especially to make them believable and relatable. 

External Features: Long blonde hair, fantasy-like purple dress, energetic stance. Internal Features: Naivety, optimism, curiosity

External Features: Thin, rough and dated clothing, long face Internal Features: Smart, inventive, stubborn

External Features: Large head, large eyes, spindley but flexible form Internal Features: Curious, energetic, cautious

Return to one of your character ideas from the last lesson. Brainstorm some possible answers to the following questions (Aeli)

Is your character a human, animal, object? - Human, but with some Fae DNA that gives her magical properties. 

What kind of clothing do they wear? - A large celtic poncho/cloak, leggings

How does your character move? - Without much grace, much like a child playing in a playground, but graceful to an extent when using her powers. 

What's the first thing you'd notice when looking at them from a distance? - The conflicting colours between her cloak and hair, as well as the weird shape of her hair. 

Internal features:

What do they like to do? - To explore and to push her boundaries, climbing trees and talking to new people.

What do they fear? - Disagreements, as these often lead to shouting which she is fervently afraid of. 

What emotion do they most often feel? - She’s usually happy, and goes with this emotion, allowing it to motivate a lot of her actions until they get received badly. Her second most frequent emotion is sulky anger. 

How would they respond if trapped in an elevator? - She might try to attack the elevator, hoping it’ll just know what to do.

What does your character WANT? It’s the most important thing about a character, it pushes the story. 

They will NEED to do something in order to be fulfilled or happy, this will be a conflict within the character - what they want and need.

The NEED is the emotional heart of the story, what the audience will remember afterwards. 

Rapunzel: She wants to see the lanterns, but ends up needing the connection with Eugene (this leads her to also ‘needing’ to find out who her true parents are). Hiccup: He wants to fit in with his people and make his dad proud, but needs to instead revolutionise them, doing the exact opposite of fitting in. Bambi: Bambi wants his carefree life, but ends up needing to grow into the great prince he was born to be. (?)

I want to make a cartoon of my own, but I first need to approach my own independence and see how far I am able to push it in order to accomplish this goal. Perhaps I ‘need’ to work on someone else's project?

What do they want most? - Aeli most wants the power that she sees Juniper have, and the freedom it must grant. 

Who do they want to become? - Someone who people look up to, who can solve any problem. 

What might they need in order to succeed? - She needs to realise that not everything is black and white, good or bad, and that some situations are more difficult than others to solve.

What’s the best way to get a character to realise what they need to accomplish?

Force your character to react, what choice would they make and how would that obstacle reflect their character?

Rapunzel: Mother Gothel, her hold on Rapunzel emotionally and later in the movie, physically. Hiccup: His father, who disagrees with him ideologically and later takes control from him - taking his dragon. Bambi: Bambi’s mother dying, as this means his ‘safety net’ is gone and he needs to learn to fend for himself. My parents splitting up meant financial and emotional instability for me growing up, which proved to be an obstacle when it came to doing what children ‘should’ be doing, like school trips, playdates, parties etc. 

Aeli is in a world where she has power but is not nearly as strong as those around her. If someone disagrees with her and decides to use brute force to get their way, there’s not much she can do to stop them. Another obstacle is just how naive she is to the world she is really in, and she needs that knowledge to accomplish her goals. 

Character, obstacle, goal. Obstacles change the character as their arc continues, before they reach their goal. 

The character is formed as the story continues, they develop as it progresses. 

If you get something for nothing, you won’t value it, it’s the same for the character.

Rapunzel: She wants to see the lanterns in the beginning, and realises that she instead needs to make connections with people like Eugene and pursue the outer world. Hiccup: He starts the film wanting to fit in with his village, and realises that no, he needs to flip their beliefs on their head for the good of their future - he had to ostracize himself. Being less ‘spoiled’ with financial gain, I find it easier to do without certain things, and learn to do my best to be prepared for the worst financially. Aeli starts her story wanting to be strong enough to essentially get her way, but as she proceeds she learns that what she wants isn’t always right, and there are many ‘right’ ways of doing things. She’ll still fight for what she believes in, but won’t force it on others if she sees there could be another way. 

Why do we care? What’s at risk if the characters fail - if the stakes are low the film won’t be very entertaining. 

Early in the arc the stakes might not be too extreme, but  as it progresses it might get more and more important that the character wins. 

The stakes should be very important to the character, it should be the world to them. 

Externals stakes - physically what will happen to the character or the world? 

Internal stakes - what’s the character feeling emotionally or mentally? What do they care about, what will happen to them internally?

Philosophical stakes - the values of the belief system of the world (if Frodo doesn’t throw the ring into the fire, the world will be under the control of evil forever). Good vs evil, greed vs generosity etc. Underlying ideas or values. 

Rapunzel: When she was back in the tower, Rapunzel figured out that she was the lost princess, and had to make the decision to blame Gothel, which would make her hostile and would result in Rapunzel being imprisoned more forcefully than before, and Eugene’s ‘death’. This would be a physical stake, perhaps also internal as it puts Rapunzel under a lot of emotional distress. Hiccup: When fighting the ‘alpha’ dragon, Hiccup had to decide to lead the threat away from everyone else, sacrificing his and Toothless’ safety in the process. He lost his leg because of this. This would have been a physical stake, and perhaps a philosophical stake as it changes the vikings’ view on dragons forever. 

Aeli needs to choose to pursue what she thinks is right, in comparison to what her family says is right. She holds the power and the people she loves find her almost terrifying, and she needs to put her own desires aside for their sake. The relationships she has are at stake in this situation, as well as her safety. This is a physical stake, but could also count as an internal one, as her stubbornness and pride are pulled into question. Perhaps it could even be philosophical due to the decision being one that many people make at some point in their life, but it doesn’t reflect the world very much. 

What do you want the audience to know, and when? Introduction, buildup and pay off, it’s important to get the order right otherwise it won’t have an impactful affect. 

Structure can affect how the audience reacts.

The structure of the story is the most important part, before you start to work on dialogue and the extra bits. It’s the concrete foundation of the story, and needs to be solid before adding anything to it. 

Story beats: the most important parts of your story. Don’t get into a detailed plot, but identify if the protagonist is making a decision that’s important, and if it could affect the rest of the plot. (Buzz lightyear looking at the rows of toys like him and realising that there’s more like him, this would quantify as a story beat).

Story spine: ‘once upon a time, every day, until one day, because of this, because of that, because of that, until finally, ever since then…’

Choose a format (outline form, using index cards, sketchbook, etc.) to identify and describe the beats that are part of the structure in each of your three favorite films

How to train your Dragon:

Beginning:

Once upon a time - there was a viking boy who lived on an island.

Every day - Dragons would attack, and he wouldn’t be able to help.

Until one day - He shot down a Nightfury.

Middle:

Because of this - He learned he couldn’t hurt dragons, even though it’s what he wanted at first. Because of this - He trained and became friends with the dragon. Because of this - the vikings found out about his dragon and took him away. 

End:

Until finally - The boy’s dad accepts him.

Ever since then - The vikings became friends with the dragons, and they respect the boy. 

Tangled:

Beginning:

Once upon a time - A princess was kidnapped for her magical hair. 

Every day - She sat in her tower, never leaving but wanting to go. 

Until one day - A thief breaks into her tower, giving her the opportunity to leave.

Middle:

Because of this - She became close to the thief. 

Because of this - She comes to the kingdom and learns about the lost princess. 

Because of this - When the thief is framed to have left her, she goes back home with her mother. 

End;

Until finally - She realises that she was the lost princess and rebels against her captor.

Ever since then - She’s lived in the kingdom with the thief.  

What are you trying to say in your story? 

The theme is connected to the moral, this is what your character learns by the end of the story. 

Something without a core idea or theme is quite unmemorable - it needs this so that if the audience tries to refer back to it, they can simply summarise the theme. 

Finding out what the protagonist needs is often the theme of the production. 

It’s important to know the theme or moral before you start the story, although this can develop as you work on this. You don’t need to start with a theme, but you need it to be clear before the story is finished. 

 Part A: Describe the moral or theme of your three favorite films. Can you identify the lesson that the main character(s) learns by the end of the film?

HTTYD: Accept people for their differences. 

Tangled: Follow your dreams.

Part B: Think of a story from your own life. What was the moral of your story? What did you learn and why?

Throughout secondary school I thought there were certain things I could / couldn’t do due to a ‘status’ I perceived myself to have. As I grew up I realised that anyone can do whatever, no one cares. So the moral would be along those lines - be an individual.

Part C: Return to the story you are developing and try the following:

Brainstorm ideas for the moral in your own story (return to the needs of your main character from the Character lesson) Aeli needs to learn throughout her story that not every problem has a black and white answer, and this can encompass a few morals. Perhaps the core one is to ‘accept people for their differences’, or to ‘think about others’. She’s a child so it’ll be something simple at first.

Most common film structure is the 3 act structure - beginning, middle and end. 

Act 1: We find out where the story is taking place, and what type of product they’re about to watch, we see what’s normal for the characters and what’s going to set the story into motion. Can also feature an antagonist. 

You meet the character and see their place in the world, and grow an affinity for them, so you want to follow them through their story. 

Inciting incident - will introduce a conflict that will force the character into action. This will generally happen at the end of the first act. 

 Part A: Identify the First Act in your three favorite films.

Who is/are the main characters, and why do we care about them? HTTYD: Hiccup is our main character and we care about him because he is the underdog of his village, and we see his determination to succeed. We also see that he’s picked on a lot, and we sympathise. Tangled: Rapunzel is the main character and we know that she’s been kidnapped, even if she doesn’t yet know. This is already morally bad so we want her to be reunited with her parents. 

Where and when does the story take place? HTTYD: On a viking island. Tangled: In a fantastical kingdom. 

How do we learn what type of movie it is? HTTYD: We see that Hiccup wants to join in with fighting the dragons, but that everyone around him is discouraging, showing that this is quite like an underdog story. Tangled: We have an introductory sequence where we see baby Rapunzel being kidnapped, and we see that she’s entranced by lanterns flying every year on her birthday. We know that she wants this, even though it seems impossible. 

What is the inciting incident? (how is the world disrupted?) HTTYD: Hiccup lets a Nightfury go, realising he can’t hurt the dragon. Tangled: A thief, Flynn Rider, breaks into Rapunzel’s tower. 

What or who is the antagonist HTTYD: Hiccup’s dad is the main antagonist, although he’s not always seen as the ‘bad guy’. It could be argued that his dad’s ‘closed-mindedness’ is the antagonist that gets defeated in the end. Tangled: Mother Gothel, the woman who kidnapped Rapunzel in the first place. 

 Act 2: Progressive complications that make our characters make choices, some that are difficult for them to make. 

‘Beat your character up a lot’. ‘A story with no conflict has no shape’. It’s where you see the most growth. 

Act 2 shouldn’t go on and on. A series of challenges for the character, toward the ultimate ‘fork in the road’ where they have to make the most important decision. 

The low point - when it seems that all hope is lost. They could have achieved everything they want, but they feel unfulfilled because they haven’t gotten what they need. Force them to confront what they didn’t want to confront in act 1. 

Act 2 happens after the inciting incident. There’s often a choice that they can never come back from, or the low point. 

 Part A: Identify the Act 2 in your three favorite films.

What is the want/goal of the main character(s) at the start of Act 2? HTTYD: He wants to become friends with Toothless. Tangled: She wants to go to the kingdom to see the lanterns.

What (if any) is the point of no return or turning point (when the character learns something and changes their path)? HTTYD: Hiccup is pinned down by a dragon, and Toothless comes to his rescue, revealing himself to the other vikings. Tangled: Rapunzel is chased along with her new companion by palace guards?

What (if any) is the low point? HTTYD: Toothless is taken by the vikings, and they all head toward danger that he feels that he can’t save them from. Tangled: Rapunzel is taken back to the tower by her mother.

What did the character learn by the end of the second act? HTTYD: Hiccup learns to let other people in, teaching the others how to ride dragons. Tangled: Rapunzel learns her true identity, and the greed of Mother Gothel.

Act 3: We head toward the inevitable climax. The main character fears losing everything they care about. They face their ultimate test. They need to make choices they weren’t capable of making in act 1. 

After the climax, the characters return to their world, but better than they were in act 1. They’ve grown and everything might seem better. 

They sacrifice their wants for their needs - it’s time to demonstrate the change. 

SHOW that they’ve learned something - the reason you made the story in the first place. 

You don’t know how well the first and second act worked until it’s completed by act 3 - it should be satisfying. 

A satisfying resolution means that the character needs to complete their emotional arc (it needs to be emotional). 

Sometimes the resolution can come with a surprise / an unexpected ending. 

Part A: Identify Act 3 in each of your three favorite films.

What was the crisis? HTTYD: Hiccup and Toothless defeat the large dragon, but they both fall into the flames. Tangled: Gothel chains Rapunzel up, stabs her companion and is about to take her away. 

How is it resolved? HTTYD: Toothless caught and protected Hiccup, solidifying his dad’s trust in the dragons. Tangled: Eugene cuts Rapunzel’s hair, killing Gothel. Rapunzel cries and this brings Eugene back from the dead. 

How does the main character demonstrate that they learned what they needed? HTTYD: Hiccup wakes up to a world where vikings and dragons are living together. Tangled: Rapunzel meets with her birth parents, becomes princess and eventually marries Eugune. 

What was the theme or moral? HTTYD: To accept people for their differences. Tangled: To do what you feel is right / follow your dreams. 

Was the character arc emotionally satisfying? Why or why not? HTTYD: Yes. Hiccup started the film not fitting in and wanting to be one of the proper vikings, but through his relationship with Toothless he stops caring about this, and revolutionises his original goal. Tangled: Kind of. Rapunzel does find out who she is, and follows her dreams to what she was meant to be. She loses some of her naivety from the start, but I’m not sure if she has a strong emotional arc.

 Work backwards. Know where you want it to end, so you know how to set it up.

Expose yourself to as much as you can, as many stories as you can. Find a new story. 

Study structure in films and tv shows, how it would typically go. You can then invent your own way, once you understand what is standard at the moment. 

What is important to you? Write what you know - what you care about. 

You have to be willing to tear it down and try again. 

 The bigger something is in a frame, the more important they are. Everything you see on screen is a choice. 

Value (light or dark) can make something stand out more. 

Line

Where a character looks, it’s like that’s where the audience will look. 

The different thicknesses and directions of lines can suggest different things, these translate into the final film. Can suggest motion, emotion etc. 

How would a line move with certain personality attributes?

Part A: How is line used to convey meaning and emotion within the frame below? Can you identify the primary direction of lines that direct your eyes to different parts of the frame?

The line of the birds beak points you toward Carl, and this is emphasised by the horizon line of the opposite cliff - it’s less prominent but adds to the effect. So we are pushed to look at Carl, and are led to look at the dog and Russell afterwards. 

Part B: On a blank sheet of paper write down two different feelings that you’ve had recently (one at the bottom left, and the other at the bottom right). Visually represent the feeling on the left as a line traveling across the paper to the right. Then transform the line as it starts to take on characteristics of the feeling on the right.

Frustration

Melancholy

Part C: Create a character with just one line and give it a name and short description. Try creating additional characters using multiple lines.

Boffry: A short tempered line, but he has a soft side. 

 Shape

Start with primitive shapes like circles, squares and triangles - different shapes represent different traits the character may have. 

Circle is friendly, triangle is active, square is reliable / robust. 

More detail = more information and more emotion

Characters should be easily identifiable from their silhouette. 

Using basic shapes you can plot out a scene to help tell the story. Notice how these help to draw the eye, how they suggest the character personalities in a scene. A rectangular shape around a character could suggest they feel boxed in etc. 

Contrast between characters’ shapes could also suggest certain things. 

   Part A: Study the above image for a few minutes.

Can you locate the main shapes in this image? - Sully is a rectangular shape, Mike is a circle. They have a rectangular shape behind them, and the shadow of Boo could almost be triangular. 

How does shape influence where you look and what meaning and emotion is conveyed? - Sully being the largest and most stable shape is what draws the eye immediately, and then you read the image from right to left, looking at Boo’s shadow and to Mike, following the rectangular structure of the blinds behind them. 

  Part B: Find a frame from one of your three favorite films. Notice how shapes are used.

What are the unique characteristics that help establish the mood and story? - Rapunzel is conformed into a rectangular shape in the background, and when we look at her we follow where she’s looking, to Pascal. He’s wearing a mini dress, so his form becomes more triangular. As he’s posing in this shot, the activeness of his shape makes sense - Rapunzel being a more stable rectangle makes her feel like more of a background image. The circular table contains the two and we focus on whatever is within that area. - Hiccup is in the foreground here, forming a strong rectangular shape in the corner, and our eyes are drawn to Toothless, the more active of the two with a more triangular shape. The scene is contained by the cliffs behind them, so we focus solely on this interaction. 

On a piece of paper, draw the composition using the simple shapes. Feel free to overlay each frame and trace on top of it with a highlighter.

  Part C: For your own story, identify the main shape for your main character(s).

 What does the shape of the character imply? She’s mostly rectangular with a more circular head. She’s stable and friendly, and her hair has small triangular spikes that suggests her activity. 

Does their shape change over time? Not much, her cloak might flow a lot behind her when she’s gliding through the air, forming more of a triangular shape.

    Space

Linear perspective. Positioning vertical lines can create an illusion of depth, and changing the line density can emphasise this. 

Make things smaller to appear further away etc. 

One point perspective, showing depth at a single point. All the lines converge at that one point. 

Force your eye to know where to look in the image. 

Can make story suggestions - have a character feeling cramped in a space, or the space never seems to end etc. 

Part A: Study the above image for a few moments and then answer the following questions:

How is the illusion of depth achieved? - The lines on the road leading backward, and the cars getting smaller as they stretch behind the characters. The buildings in the background also add to this, but they don’t go very far. 

Are there any objects that show size differences? - The cars and the buildings. 

Can you see how shapes and lines contribute to the depth of this scene?

Try answering the same questions using the frame you found from one of your favorite films. The circular table has a lot of area, taking up most of the screen so it appears mostly in the foreground. The objects in the background are much smaller than the foreground characters.

Here is a partially finished example as a reference:

 Movement

Motion lines extend from an object along its line of action to suggest it’s movement. 

Line of action, an imaginary line that runs down the spine of the character, it guides the pose and makes it feel more dynamic. 

Motion lines don’t need to be blatant, they can be included in the background, framing the movement. This could separate the subject from the rest of the background. 

 Part A: What kind of movement (motion lines or line of action) is implied in the above images? Compare the role lines play in achieving a sense of movement in both.

The cars are being led in more of a direct line, leading them straight into the side of the frame as indicated by the lines. They’re moving really quickly, as demonstrated by the motion lines. The mouse has very fluid movements, having a lot of curve to his spine in his movements. He seems to move a lot slower than the cars do, the straightness of the lines in the cars indicate a lot more speed, which the curved lines of the mouse does not have. Logically a character that is so curled up wouldn’t be able to move very fast, and this comes across quite clearly.

 Part B:

Find a frame from one of your three favorite films which shows movement. On a sheet of paper, swiftly sketch the line(s) of action or motion lines that provide the sense of movement in the image.

  Part C:

Draw a character from your story performing different movements. Use a line of action to guide each pose.

Combine lines of action in a character with motion lines to create a scene with lots of movement from your story. Don’t be shy with your use of lines and shapes!

  Tone

Adjusting the light and shadows can be another way to direct the viewer’s eyes in a scene. 

Contrast is the relationship between light and dark - this can be more or less extreme. 

Our eyes actively move to the point of highest contrast in a scene. 

Everything in the foreground could be darker, framing the subject more clearly, etc. 

Gradients can put across an emotion too. 

We can also control what information gets revealed to the audience using tone. 

 Part A: In the above image, how is tone used to help create emphasis and direct the viewer’s eye?

What mood is conveyed? - We get the sense that the two characters are meeting in secret - the darkness framing them hides them from observers. The only light rims them slightly, the majority of their forms being in shadow, suggesting that they want to be hidden in this interaction. 

What kind of contrast is used (low, higher, highest?) - There is a high amount of contrast between the lamp, the light source, and the characters in the frame, who are a lot more shadowed. 

   Colour

Contrasting colours can divert our attention, colours that are closer are more unified. 

Different colours can demonstrate different emotions and personality traits. Different colours can solely represent different characters. 

Cold & warm colours can suggest different things too. 

Warmer light often represents the end of something / sunset. 

Colour isn’t used very often in storyboarding, unless it puts across a different idea / point, to emphasise its importance in a scene. 

 Part A: In the above image, how is color used to help create emphasis and direct the viewer’s eye? What mood or emotion is conveyed? What kind of colors are used (similar, contrasting, complementary?) The character in the scene is the darkest, contrasting the light, and this is where our eye is drawn first. We then drift over the scene to the light. The colours are pale, suggesting a softness / fragility, and the colours are almost complementary, just toned down. We get the sense that it’s early in the morning, and the character is still weak and tired from sleep. 

  Look up storyboarders from films you like, look at their work, ask them questions relevant to that field. 

Keep drawing. Look at life and draw from this. 

Do a lot of quick and fast drawings with the elements of visual language, and slowly you’ll forget them and it’ll become natural. 

Do really small and quick thumbnail sketches through a scene, see how it works and if it matches what you see in your head, before working on the real storyboards. 

 Stringing a sequence of shots together to tell a story. 

Film is an emotional medium.

Framing, staging, motion, editing.

A scene defines a particular time and location - something that is happening at one point in time before moving on to another scene. It could also take place in one particular arc of the character, where they might change locations quickly but it’s focusing on this one idea. 

Each scene gets broken down into minor beats, following the character throughout the scene to see what new thing they learn and how this changes them through the mini ‘arc’ of the scene. 

Basic Shot Types

Common to start with a wide shot to give a broad perspective of a new environment and characters. Often followed by a medium shot, focusing more on the character. 

Close up shots are good to punctuate more emotional points. 

What do you want the audience to know, and what do you want them to feel?

You want a variety of shot types to put emphasis on certain plot points in a scene, to make it feel more dynamic. 

Framing story points clearly is essential. 

Center frame offers stability or neutrality - easy to direct attention.

Rule of thirds!

Extreme Shot

Extreme wide shots can make details difficult to see, and show a larger world.

Extreme close ups can make it much more intimate. 

Up shots give a character the feeling of power or dominance. 

Down shots, trapped, fear. 

Plant your camera where it needs to be to sell the story beat.

Avoid extreme angles that don’t mean anything, make sure they’re where they are for a reason. 

Don’t use them too much, they’re there for emphasis. 

Rules can be broken as long as you understand film grammar before you do it. 

 Dynamic Shot

Static shots - when the camera doesn’t move. 

Sense of speed, change of focus.

Pan, Dolly shot (parallel to the ground), zoom, tracking shot. 

Reveal information to the audience when you want it revealed, focus on a character during an emotional speech, keep the action in the shot. 

Handheld shots can give a spontaneous and unstable feeling. 

Always keep the audience in mind, what you want them to feel at the time of the shot. 

A moving camera brings attention to itself so you have to be careful with how much you use it. 

Storyboarding

Think about what composition you might want before you start drafting (does a character need to assert more dominance in a shot, do they feel afraid etc). 

What’s the dynamic between characters in your scene?

Complimentary shot - when you have an over the shoulder shot, you want to show the reverse. Show the other character’s over the shoulder, but keep the dynamic consistent (if one character takes up most of the space, keep this going). 

Do rough sketches of the key points in a scene, experiment with different ways of expressing it, keeping an eye on what the composition means. 

Each scene will have a ‘change’, a climax that we build to, even if it’s a small one. 

Camera movements can be sketched out to emphasize the point of the scene further - to focus more on the dominant character etc. 

 Take the most important part of the scene and draw an image for it. This will help you move quickly through the product, letting you see what you want to focus on when you come back to fully board it. 

Research how films are put together, listen to what directors say about their work and why they did what they did to build their film.

Pitch your stories early on, get feedback while you’re still able to refurbish the whole thing. You have to be willing to rethink it.

Do what you can to find out what works and what doesn’t. 

When pitching, let the story unfold one idea at a time (refer to the pitch for Finding Nemo!). 

You don’t have to explain every detail of your drawings, just fill in details not shown in the boards, and be descriptive with this. 

Try to put yourself into the story while you pitch, if it’s an action scene it’ll move quickly, and if it’s an emotional scene it’ll be much slower. 

“Make the movie feel like the movie”, don’t over explain. 

Don’t just read, perform the pitch.

Giving Feedback

Listening to a pitch: Identify what the storyteller wants to say, what’s the point of the story? How do they say the lines, how this relates to the timing or energy level of a shot. How will a scene be incorporated into the bigger picture?

Performance, pacing, does it work?

Start with the positive, give specific examples of the things that you like. Know that the person worked really hard on their pitch, have a sense of respect. 

Make it personal - make it clear that it’s your personal perspective. Use ‘I’ statements. You don’t know how other people will interpret anything.

Be specific, allow them to see what they can do to improve. Don’t be vague on things that they can improve. 

Make suggestions, don’t dictate what you think should happen.”What were you trying to achieve with this, what were you trying to do with that” etc. Identify problems but don’t fix them. 

Digesting Feedback

Try your best not to take critical feedback personally, they just want to improve the scene. 

Focus on the work, not the person. 

Take a step back to analyse the notes that you’ve been given. 

Put some distance between you and your work, take a break from it so you can look at it objectively.

Look for the ‘spirit’ of the note, what problem is it really addressing - maybe it says that a part of the scene isn’t very clear, maybe an emotion isn’t getting across. 

Storyreels

Once a pitch is approved, it moves into editing and is made into a story reel (an animatic).

Timing and sound are very important. 

Start with the dialogue, and time them out. Then add the storyboards, timing these out to work with the dialogue, then you add the sound and music. 

Sometimes the scene will change after being made into a story reel, and won’t have the same effect. 

Cut out as much stuff as you can, shoot more stuff so you have the ability to cut it later. Try every variation of a shot, feel it out and experiment with many avenues.

Tenacious beats talent - the more you want it and the more you work toward the better. 

Apply yourself to your craft as much as possible. The harder the problem, the more proud you are of the solution you come up with. 

Draw for yourself, based on your inner self. Don’t draw to get a job. 

Immerse yourself in different kinds of stories. 

Use your experiences to write your stories. 

[writewaystudio-blog]

April 2018 Featured Creator

What is a Featured Creator?

Write Way Studio’s “Featured Creator” segment is my way of showing appreciation for the creators of the world.  Creative outlets are limitless, because there is no end to human imagination.  Every month shows the succeeding featured creator.  If you would like to be a part of this collaborative project, contact me at studiowriteway@gmail.com or go to Write Way Studio's Contact Page!

My seventh guest creator is Alexandra, the web-comic artist behind Wind Rose and Bloody Rose!

Introduction

First, it is time for a long-awaited introduction of the one and only Alexandra!  She is better known online by her nickname-turned-username Sfera.  To start, she is twenty-two years old with her birthday on June fifth.  She is under the sign of the Gemini and has noticed that she can never do just one thing at a time.

She is at this time a computer animation student at Ringling College of art and design.  Interestingly, her educational background did not start with Ringling; it actually began at her hometown’s university and their animation department where she spent two years’ worth of study.  Once she realized their animation education was not advanced enough, she decided to apply to American schools.  She needed to further develop her portfolio, so she studied for a year in Vancouver on intense Concept Art for Animation program to improve her skills.  Only after Vancouver did she gain acceptance into Ringling College and complete her freshman year.

She works on her stories, such as Wind Rose and Bloody Hood, whenever she gets a free moment.  Future projects are always in development! 

What Sparked the Creator Passion?

As she contemplated this question, Sfera noted how she always liked to create stories.  She even recalled her childhood, with how she played with her toys by giving them a story of some kind.  After watching Disney’s animated feature Bambi, she remembers desperately wishing there was a sequel.  Her desire increased to such extremes that she created deer out of Plasticine (a material similar to clay) and played a game called Bambi 2.

Not much has changed as she got older.  She is still creating stories.  The only difference is that her process is more advanced than ever before.

Alexandra’s Creation:  Wind Rose

How It All Started

As a child, her parents wanted to travel and brought her along.  Since they were from the Northern part of the world, her parents liked to the Southern parts.  She has slept in jungles as well as visited cities, such as Katmandu in Nepal, their contrasting beauty blowing her childish mind away.  A glimmer of imagination made her wonder that if the South were a person, that she would be loud, fun, colorful, cheerful and bright versus the North, who would be melancholic, quiet and calm.  The idea of humanization and personification has always appealed to her; the fascination to take something non-human and imagine it in a human body.

Many influences inspired this work.  She was impressed with Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet when she first read the play.  The idea of forbidden love persisted. 

All about Wind Rose

Wind Rose is a story about love and adventures, the main characters being a humanized North and South.  North and South will eventually fall in love, but it will take time due to their contrasting personalities.  That is only the first part of the romance.  After they finally admit they love each other, new adventures with other individuals like West, East, Equator, and Poles will commence, initiating the second half of the tale.

Wind Rose is her first comic and has become her greatest teacher.  As such, the work is not meant to be professional but meant to give insight for future works.  At first, she didn’t know what she was doing or what style to use.  She learned very quickly that she hated lines and focused on her painting and rendering skills.  It has taught (and is still teaching) her how to paint, how to create interactive 360 panoramic pictures, and even how to create your own font.

She works on Wind Rose every day and learns something new every day because of it.

Future Projects

Right now, she began Chapter 2 of her web-comic Bloody Hood, where she retells Red Riding Hood and other well-known fairytales.  The story introduces a small city near the woods, where an unusual castle houses a peculiar family.  Each member wears a distinctive red hat.  The protagonist, Mister Wolf, observes the family closely, since they can become a great danger to the city.  She plans to publish all of Chapter 2 during the summer.  Then, we will be presented with every family member.

"The idea of humanization and personification has always appealed to her; the fascination to take something non-human and imagine it in a human body."  -- Sfera

She has many ideas for the future.  As a sneak peek, she does not want to create only web-comics.  The next project requires her to learn how to code.

Where to Find You? Support You?

Sfera is available on most social media platforms.  For more details, look below!

All about the Art!

     o   Art and sketches on Instagram

     o   Her best artwork is on her ArtStation

Check out her comic series!

     o   Line Webtoon

     o   Tapas Media

Support her art and get exclusives!

     o   Patreon

Last Tidbits

There is not much to report for the weirdness department.  The only item that might qualify is Sfera’s bowler hat.  She wears it all the time, to the point that it feels like part of her brain has become one with the hat.  Thus, the inspiration comes forth.

Important Notice

Please understand that some information will not be shared by the creator’s request.  If you cannot understand that, there is not much more I can do to help you.  Safety is a top priority here, and I am here to help the creators, not instigate negative behavior.

Collaboration Disclaimer

The information provided in my Featured Creator articles is, in fact, from the real people, not some random Internet bot.  I do not use random stock photos to fill an imaginary photo quota.  Any photos in the Featured Creator segment are provided by the creators with permission to use them in this manner.  I want to support the original person behind the work, not a random online copycat creeping around.

To Alexandra,

I know this collaboration has not been the smoothest, due to personal and technological obstacles on my part.  I really appreciate you working with me on my Featured Creator segment and remaining patient with me.  I know that the silence was agonizing (and that’s putting it mildly!)

I can’t wait to see more of North and South blossoming into their tale.  I also wait in anticipation for Bloody Hood’s official debut!  I wish only the best for you with school and your art!

Sincerely,

Jasmine Love

{Write Way Studio creator and blogger}

[titoslondon-blog]

New Post has been published on Titos London

#Blog New Post has been published on http://www.titoslondon.co.uk/selena-gomez-on-partnering-with-puma-and-sharing-closets-with-the-weeknd/

Selena Gomez on partnering with Puma and sharing closets with The Weeknd

1/4

Officially a part of the fam @puma #pumapartner

A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Sep 18, 2017 at 10:00am PDT

Made to reign. @selenagomez #DoYou

A post shared by PUMA (@puma) on Sep 19, 2017 at 10:18am PDT

Fearless talent and of Instagram joins the family. @selenagomez #DoYou

A post shared by PUMA (@puma) on Sep 18, 2017 at 10:03am PDT

With a design inspired by Japanese architecture, the #Tsugi Kori is ready to run the streets. @theweeknd

A post shared by PUMA (@puma) on Sep 15, 2017 at 11:44am PDT

Selena Gomez has made herself at home—here, in a dimly lit studio loft, filled with Diptyque candles that smell of blackcurrant and roses. “I was totally being moody and just stretching in the bathroom,” she says, welcoming us in with a friendly wave. “I always want to have this kind of bathroom vibe with candles.” It marks the quiet, happy start to her next chapter: Today, Gomez will announce a long-term partnership with Puma, for which she has shot images for the brand’s Phenom sneaker launch. It is the first in an ongoing series of projects, as she has been tasked to design product and help direct future campaigns.

No doubt Puma hopes Gomez will inject the brand with her trademark authenticity, which has famously drawn more than 127 million Instagram fans. She certainly puts herself into everything she does and everywhere she goes. Take this candlelit studio, for instance. Stacked neatly on a wood coffee table are black and white Polaroids that Gomez had snapped just the night before. “My friend Petra’s been teaching me,” she says of Petra Collins, the downtown photographer who directed Gomez’s music video “Fetish.” She fans them out, revealing a series of beautifully grainy images—of Petra adjusting the strap on a shoe, of herself and her boyfriend, The Weeknd, linking arms in black tie. It feels intimate in a natural way—a taste of that genuine warmth.

Dressed in a black Puma tracksuit (cropped zip-up hoodie, pants cinched at both ankles), she sits down on the couch, tucks her bare feet beneath her, and begins to chat.

Congratulations on the collaboration; it’s an exciting one. I know—I’m really excited. When it comes to this whole world of fashion—that’s what I’m going to call it—I think it’s become this collaborative thing where streetwear and fashion blend into one. It’s a really beautiful thing because I see girls now feeling sexy in not even necessarily workout clothes, but clothes you could go work out in, then put on a cute pair of shoes and go out after. That’s what’s so crazy about now. Even just throwing something over a workout pant or just sweats, you kind of feel like you can do whatever you want.

What is your personal take on the whole athleisure trend? Is it something you wear often? Every day? [laughs]. I think it’s important to feel confident in what you wear. That’s all I really care about—I want to make sure anything I put on, I feel good in, because how you’re feeling on the outside really does affect how you are on the inside.

What do you wear for an actual workout? When I’m at home, it can be very intimate. Maybe just a sports bra and maybe some little spanky kind of cute things. And when I’m out, then it’s the typical: something slouchy that feels sexy that I can take off. It’s about layering and cute little socks.

Socks? What kind of socks? I add little chains to my socks because it adds a little charm, a little sparkle to it. Little anklets, actually. Me and my assistant got a bunch from Japan when I was on tour. I went through this whole phase where I would just wear the anklet around and shower in it. It’s effortless. I lose things—for me, it’s got to be on me, you know what I mean?

Generally speaking, do you put much thought into what you wear out? It depends. I don’t like when people feel like they need to put things together or be stressed about that. That’s what’s really cool about what Puma’s been doing lately. It’s all these pieces that you know are going to look good together, so it’s just kind of throwing this on, throwing that on.

I mean, at this point, my boyfriend and I share closets, and [we’re] just kind of throwing different ideas around. Sometimes I’ll throw on his Puma stuff and just go out with my shoes. I’ll just wear that as a little cute date-night dress or something to the movies. You want to feel confident in it. When you start stressing about it and feel you have to create this image . . . you shouldn’t feel that way.

What pieces do you two share the most? Hoodies. Staple hoodies.

So how do you feel about sneakers? They’ve been so changing my life [laughs]. I actually forgot how to walk in heels, you guys. I’ve been figuring out the past few events I’ve gone to, I’ve forgotten how to walk in heels just a little bit. I’m like Bambi, trying to figure out how to get my legs under. It’s the craziest thing because you get so comfortable [in sneakers], and now you can just wear them everywhere. Now that I’m in the city—I’m going to be here for a little while—it’s even better. I can walk anywhere, I can put on a cute dress with them. My entire closet is sneakers and cute boots and now a few heels.

How many sneakers do you have in rotation right now? Oh gosh. Just in New York? Probably like 20 pairs, but that’s not counting [those in] my home in L.A. Now that I’m a part of this [Puma] family, it’s nice because I’ll get to pick out ones that look good with everything.

When you were packing your 20 pairs, did you keep any sort of strategy in mind, or want to pack a specific range of them? Yeah, because you have the sport, where you know you’re going to go do something active and want to make sure you feel comfortable. Then there are what I call the untouchables, where someone steps on it and you gasp. Those are the kinds of shoes everyone has, especially guys. I think guys have that on lock. Then you have the ones where you know you’re going to walk around and do what you have to do. It also depends on what mood I’m in: the simple high tops, black, white, platforms. It’s in my vibe.

What about colors? Anything you gravitate toward in particular? I feel my colours are usually primary, sometimes secondary. Look at my sixth-grade arts stuff coming back to me [laughs]. Now I love the little soft colors of red or pink or blue. I’m such a classic person, so when I add a simple taste of colour, I like it to feel not overpowering, for me personally.

Do you remember your first pair of sneakers? Oh yes. I think I wanted the shoes with the wheelies at first, remember those? That’s what I wanted more than anything. I also don’t know what I was doing—it did not work out for me very well. I think I wore them once, I’m not even kidding.

I’ve been working since I was 7, so the earliest memories of me are when I’m on Barney [& Friends], which is so funny. I talked about this the other night, but that style is coming back. I was literally 7, but the way those shoes with the socks that fold over . . . it’s so kind of now. Not that I was creepily watching myself on Barney. We were just laughing about how I was on Barney because it becomes a joke amongst friends. But those are my earliest memories. Then getting older, you go through different phases.

Would you say you’ve been in a sneaker phase lately? Yeah. For me, I started just wanting to feel grounded. I took some time off, and I needed to kind of take a moment for myself because all of this has been overwhelming. So I used to just walk around my house barefoot or with socks, and everywhere I would go, I would wear a sneaker from that point on. I’ve always worn sneakers, but I’d say in the past year, for sure.

In terms of workouts and overall wellness, what kind of approach do you take? When it comes to that stuff for me, I love feeling like I’m getting all the stress out. I’m not a very aggressive person; I’m more emotional. So not to be cheesy, but my stretching and all of that really makes me feel like I’m getting stuff out. So I like to do that a lot throughout the day. Sometimes in front of the fireplace, so it just feels warm.

Looking ahead at this collaboration, is there anything you feel inspired by right now? I have to be honest, coming to New York has been very inspiring for me because I’m living here for a minute, and I’ve never lived here. I’ve come for 10 years for work, but you’re here, do a job, and leave. And this is kind of a huge staple city for streetwear—I get so many ideas just walking to get coffee every morning that I wouldn’t get in my car in L.A. My friend Petra [Collins] . . . I walk around her area. We went to Queens the other night to have Italian food. And I really like that.

This article originally appeared on Vogue.com

The post Selena Gomez on partnering with Puma and sharing closets with The Weeknd appeared first on VOGUE India.

[ifitzpatrick]

Beware the Slenderman Review

In 2014, Morgan Geyser,12 and Anissa Weier, 12 attended a party and sleepover at Morgan’s house with their friend Payton “Bella” Leuter, 12. The next day, Morgan and Anissa walked Payton into the woods where Morgan stabbed the girl 19 times. The act was premeditated. The girls planned it for awhile, hoping to appease Slenderman, a tall faceless man that preys upon children. They claimed that in order to keep him away from their families and for them to be in his presence, they needed/wanted to become a proxy or a servant/apprentice for Slender, so they’d have to kill their friend. After the stabbing, Morgan and Anissa were found by police, walking down the highway towards Slenderman’s mansion in Nicolet National Park, a two hour drive from where they were in Waukesha, Wisconsin. They were picked up and taken to the police station where they told the story of how and why they decided to try and kill their friend.

Beware the Slenderman, directed by Irene Taylor Brodsky, premiered on HBO on Monday, January 23rd. The long awaited documentary was a hit at Sundance and when HBO decided to bring it their network, I was counting down the days when it would be available for watch. The Slenderman case is something that you never thought you’d hear about, but probably have in the past. This documentary takes place over 16 months after the stabbing happened. Beware the Slenderman asks the questions, What would make two 12 year old girls stab their best friend? What was going on with them? What kind of mindset develops that allows you to think that’s okay, especially to appease a fictional character? Before we dive into this documentary, I’d like to tell you guys that there will be spoilers cause… oh man, there’s so much ground to cover. So… proceed with caution.

The documentary dives into a couple of important points and we’ll take them all one by one. A couple of them however, include the mental state of both of the girls, the character of Slenderman himself and the blur of reality and fantasy in young children. We’ll start with the character of Slenderman.

Slenderman was created in 2009 by Erik Knudsen, who went by the name Victor Surge. He entered into a photoshop contest to make something that looked real, but wasn’t. He created Slenderman, tall mysterious like figure that stalks children. This story then landed on Creepypasta Wiki, which contain a bunch of horror stories that get copies and pasted. Trevor J. Blank, Ph.D and digital folklorist says that, “Slenderman is open to a lot of interpretation and projection because he is faceless and a boogeyman.” So as soon as this story landed on creepypasta, the meme took life, spreading itself out from person to person and then you see the true power. The story of Slenderman has had its own take by different people. They have been taken on, added to or broken apart for the pleasure of the audience, but more so for the person who takes it on. Blank goes on to say, “Slenderman is the Grim Reaper, but with a heart.” He talks about most of the photos with Slender in then, he never really goes after any child. He’s hidden in the background, almost protectively. It leaves one to think that Slenderman isn’t the monster that people make him out to be, but a protective of some sort for people who really troubled or trying to find their way. Abigail Baird, Ph.D, neurodevelopmental psychologist, says that Slenderman is an “open-ended monster, who will embrace you.” It really sucks being a kid and it sucks even more being a kid and not knowing where you fit in the world. Stories like this, and others, provide an outlet for some kind of non-judgmental relief that you don’t have in real life. An interesting comparison for Slenderman was made by Jack Zipes, Ph.D, literary critic, who compared this story to one like The Pied Piper and Brothers Grimm stories that he says dealt with “human struggles.” He found that this is probably what allows people to live with the story of Slenderman and create their own versions.

What made this so interesting to the girls though? How did they even come across it? What were they like before all this?

Irene interviews all four of the parents for this documentary. Morgan’s parents, Angie and Matt Geyser and Bill and Kristi Weier, Anissa’s parents, were all very much asking themselves the same questions of “Why did they do this?” Bill and Kristi Weier seem like the type of parents that never let any secrets fly by in their houses. Bill is a stern father but protective and it shows. He wants the best for his children and so does Kristi. They separated in 2012 and raise both Anissa and her brother. Kristi’s regret is getting her Anissa her own iPad saying that she spend a lot of alone time in her room with it. She would watch, “things that were funny to her, or depressing or emotionally degrading.” They show some of the videos that Anissa had commented it. They ranged from cute fluffy videos, animated scary things and a cat killing a mouse. It was a wide range, but nothing too alarming. She even watched videos to find out if she was a sociopath or a psychopath.  Angie and Matt Geyser are loving parents as well. Angie recorded all of Morgan’s movements via camera and camcorder for most of her life, wanting to document every moment, which is so sweet. Matt is a wonderful dad as well. In Morgan’s case, the thing that always struck Angie was how Morgan reacted to certain things like Bambi because she didn’t at all seem concerned when the mother died, which she was worried about, but she was worried about Bambi getting out of the line of fire. They both have a lot in common as parents, but so separate in how they raised their daughters.

Neither parent thought that something like this would happen. Anissa was the one who introduced Morgan to Slenderman, feeding something inside both of the girls that they long missed and didn’t have in their life. Morgan marched to the beat of her own drum, not caring what other kids thought of her, while Anissa was bullied by her peers. Richard Dawkin’s makes an excellent point in what may have happened to the girls upon hearing the Slenderman stories and then being so close to each other. He says it was “peer to peer horizontal transmission”, meaning that this meme went from one girl to the other and that set them both captivated in this story. Jacqueline Woolley, Ph. D, psychologist, says that since they believed it together, together caused them both to make an even stronger belief. Feeding into their blur of what’s reality and what’s fantasy for the both of them.

That was the part I found incredibly interesting in the entire case. I think we all can say that we’ve had that blur between fantasy and reality before. Even if you haven’t, you might have thought something was real. Hell, I believed that Patty, a ghost boxer from a show called One Step Beyond, was going to come and kill me in the night. The legend was that if you saw Patty, then you’d die. My dad needed to tell me that that story was only for boxers to help me sleep at night. The blur between fantasy and reality are so slim. It’s so fractured for anyone, even as an adult, sometimes it’s hard to see between it, but with these girls… it’s understandable how they didn’t see it. Belief was so strong in them that they just knew it had to be real, that’s also… understandable to me.

Slenderman was like their guardian angel. Remember what Blank said? “Slenderman is the Grim Reaper, but with a heart.” The stories that carry out after the original paint Slenderman as this person who will take you in with open arms just as Baird said before. These girls were aiming to be proxies for him. They were aiming to be apart of the apprenticeship that Slenderman would protect, so he wouldn’t hurt their families and friends. This was the reality for them, but Woolley makes another good point in the documentary, arguing that the concept of what’s real and what’s not is so blurred that technology is not helping the case at all. Hope R, a supporter of Morgan Geyser, believed that Slenderman existed “with every fiber of her being.” It’s not hard to see that these girls seriously believed that they needed to do this to their friend, especially when you talk about mental states.

Towards the ending of the film, they said that Anissa had no mental illness, she had no psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies, but I think if you watch, you can almost argue something else. However, Morgan suffered from a range. Morgan was diagnosed in the courtroom with schizophrenia, oppositional defiant disorder and bronchial asthma. Morgan also says that she suffered from hallucinations as early as three years old and tried to tell her parents. Her grandparents backed her claim, so did all the psychs on the stand who visited her in the jail. She also directly in the line of schizophrenia because her dad Matt has it as well. Anissa feeding the belief of Slenderman to Morgan was going to cause some type of damage in the long run. It’s a sad and tragic case, but if you stop to look at all the cause and effects of what’s happening inside of their lives. The strong belief of Slenderman and the mentality of the girls kinda break down to the point of it being the only thing they’d want to do.

Another very much interesting that I’d like to talk about is the fact that these girls became legends after this stabbing. It’s kind of a weird thing to mention, but hear me out. Slenderman is already a legend, he is a well known creepypasta from across the land, but in a way, the girls got to be the proxy’s they so desired to become? There’s fan art for these girls with Slenderman comforting them and welcoming them into his arms. There’s support and more for the girls way after the fact. It’s almost like, they didn’t get to go to Slenderman’s mansion, but they still get the “glory” of doing something in his name. Verdict: See It! It’s absolutely horrible what they decided to do, but watching Beware the Slenderman really helps you understand when and how that line was blurred for them. It helps you understand that you have to look out, be aware and notice the little things. Beware the Slenderman is overall a very sympathetic and brilliant triumph of a documentary. Irene Taylor Brodsky did an amazing job with getting these experts together to take their side of this intense but important case together. Her view remains a bit muddy, leaving you with a sense that she feels sympathy for the girls, but also knowing that she feels just as much sympathy for the victim as well.