#we're v intrigued tho

[ozlices]

bruh the amount of gore in the new poppy chapter holy shit. i mean it's not new to the series but they said "we are NOT fucking around anymore"

[aniesvision]

sometimes (matt sturniolo x bff!reader)

warnings: dirty jokes, making out, oral, p in v, no use of y/n, just smut idk how to describe it (?) sorry if I'm missing something

a/n: hi! english is not my first language, but I really hope you like it and if anything's wrong please let me know 💜 also this is kinda long!!

synopsis: when Matt sees his best friend's boobs accidentally and he can't stop thinking about it afterwards.

🪻🪻🪻

I was finishing my shower and night routine, the bathroom door half open as I slide my long t-shirt on, deciding on not wearing a bra for better comfort.

-Hey, we're about to go to Burger King, do you... -I hear Matt's voice getting louder as he gets closer to the bathroom, mindlessly pushing the door open to see me, just to accidentally be surprised by the sight of my bare breasts. -Oh, shit, sorry.

I laugh, not really caring. He was a close friend and it was an accident, and honestly it was just my boobs.

-What were you gonna ask? -I get out of the bathroom, now fully dressed, throwing my wet hair back and out of my shirt.

-I don't... remember. -He keeps staring at the wall, cheeks slightly red in embarrassment.

I smile, taking a few steps closer to him and gently rubbing his arm with my hand.

-It's fine, Matt, not a big deal, I promise. -I try to make him less awkward, which kind of works since he looked at me again and smiled, nodding.

-Nice piercings tho. -He giggles, making me laugh and shake my head in disbelief with his comment.

Suddenly more footsteps could be heard and Chris' face appeared, he was clearly annoyed.

-What's taking so long? -He asks, looking at his brother for an answer.

This makes Matt remember his question, what he meant to do when he walked all the way over the bathroom.

-Oh, yeah, uh, do you wanna go to BK? -He asks, making me giggle a bit and nod.

-Why didn't you ask her when you got here?. -Chris asks, confused, crossing his arms and looking between me and Matt.

I could see Matt's cheeks turning red once more, making me laugh and tap his shoulder playfully, passing through him and Chris while I responded.

-He was freaking out 'cause he accidentally saw my boobs. -I explain, shrugging and taking a turn to reach the stairs to the garage.

Chris looks at Matt with his mouth shaped like an 'O' and eyes widen in shock.

-What the fuck? Did you really? -He asks his brother, letting his arms fall to his sides.

-Yeah. -Matt replies, shyly, putting his hands in his pockets.

-How did they look like? -Chris asks, again, with a playful smirk and clear curiosity. But also, to tease Matt about it. He wasn't gonna let his brother forget this moment ever happened.

-Alright, c'mon dude. -He shakes his head, pushing Chris down the stairs as his brother just laughed.

During the way in, me and Nick talked about Billie's new album and some other songs we liked.

Chris entertained himself with the songs playing, since he had aux, and Matt focused on driving most of the time.

(3rd person)

Matt was constantly fighting his thoughts, the scene of him walking in on you and accidentally seeing your boobs, the way they looked so firm, with the piercings decorating your nipples. He couldn't lie to himself, it was the most beautiful pair of boobs he has ever seen, and he was intrigued.

He didn't let things get awkward between them, still making jokes and talking normally to her, the words "she's still your best friend" repeating in his mind like a mantra.

Fortunately, Chris didn't mention what happened, which could be a good, but also bad thing.

If he wasn't talking about it now, means he's going to trap Matt into talking later, and Matt didn't really wanted to share details on how you looked. One because he respects you, two because he knows that if he speaks his brother might wanna take a look too and he's not infatuated about the idea of Chris also being able to see them, three because he knows you for months and you never seemed to care about this stuff, at least you didn't seem to care whenever you were around them, probably because you trusted them, and he didn't want to lose your trust. Or you.

The not so healthy dinner got to an end and you were all on your way back to their house.

You were never picky when it was time to choose whose room you were going to crash in, always leaving it to the boys to decide. And Matt was quick to ask you to stay in his tonight.

Half of his mind scared of Chris asking you to stay with him, the other half scared of sharing a bed with you after what happened. And the thoughts that would go through Chris's mind, considering he knows what happened too, only makes it worse.

But you accepted it. And you didn't really mind, you love all three of them and already did shared a bed with all of them anyways.

You all say your goodnights, Nick's climbing the stairs to his room to edit a video that should be out tomorrow, Chris hugging you with a smirk that only Matt could see, making sure to kiss your cheek and yell "don't make too much noise, kids!" before disappearing.

Matt rolls his eyes at his brother's tease, pulling you by the hand with him to his room.

First it wasn't so different from all the times you've spend with him in his room. You've talked about life, games, songs, a new show you guys were both watching. There was a quick brake to brush your teeths and other night routine things, and you were now both back on his bed.

You were sitting cross-legged on the left side of his bed, plugging the charge to your phone, and he was sitting with his legs spread, mindlessly scrolling through his tiktok. The silence was comfortable, and you take a deep tired breath before letting yourself rest your head on his shoulder and watch some videos with him.

(end of 3rd person)

-Feeling sleepy yet? -He asks, with a cute smile, looking down at me and locking his screen, placing his phone on his nightstand.

-Just a bit. -I smile back, sitting upright and covering my legs with the blanket.

He lays beside me, gesturing me to do the same, so I do, and now we're both sideways facing each other.

(3rd person again)

Matt couldn't shake his thoughts away. Even now, after knowing it was possible to just act friendly and pretend nothing happened, something inside him almost screamed. It was like a gigantic need that he was battling against, the urge to just ask her to see them again. To see those, unfortunately for him, perfect boobs once more. As friends, of course. He wouldn't do anything, just stare.

He didn't say anything, how could he? But the way his eyes looked at her, so confused yet intrigued. She knows him well, something was going on in his mind and she could tell.

-What's up? -She asks, placing one hand under her head, looking at him intently.

-Nothing. -He lies, smiling, trying to forget his own mind.

But he couldn't fool her.

-You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. -She's quick to announce, gently pressing her free hand on his arm to comfort him.

She didn't want him to feel pressured or like he needed to say what was bothering him if he didn't want to share.

There's a moment when he tries to make it all seem like he was just tired, turning on the tv and off the lights. The background noise and illumination making his heart beat faster, he knows he can't just simply ignore everything, or ignore her. So, when they were almost about to just go to sleep and not even speak about it, he sighs.

-Are you sure you didn't mind what happened? I feel guilty. -He finally speaks his mind, making her head turn to look at him with a small assuring smile.

-I don't mind at all, Matt, you don't need to feel guilty, it wasn't your intention, I get it. And I mean, it was just some boobs, you probably saw lots of them throughout your life. -She shrugs, really seeming like she didn't care.

It only fuels his courage to get more into it.

-Not that many, but with piercings was a first. -He decides to keep the mood light, just on top of the friendly barrier.

-And what did you think? -She asks, with a playful smirk, finding it amusing how he was slowly starting to feel more comfortable to talk about it.

Of course she wanted to talk things through, but didn't want to be the first mentioning it.

-Looks hot. -He shrugs, like it was oh so easy for him to let these words come out his mouth.

The sound of her laughter makes him even more confident, it shows him that yes it's okay for them to talk about it, and even to make some flirtatious comments. It was almost like he forgot they're close friends with all the embarrassment from earlier.

-Well, I appreciate it. It must look good if it hurts so bad to do it. -She carelessly shove her hand under her long t-shirt, cupping one of her boobs to feel the jewelry there.

His eyes follow her hand, and for a second he wishes it was his hand there instead. It was like he couldn't stop those unfriendly thoughs. Even knowing they're just friends and he shouldn't see her like that, it was hard not to.

-When did you get them? -His question was somehow innocent, he wanted to keep the conversation going.

-Almost a year ago I guess. -She starts playing with the jewelry, moving it side to side, Matt's eyes following it, containing his body from shoving her hand away and doing it himself.

-Does it hurt when you move it? -He lifts his eyes to hers, making sure he wasn't being caught staring at her boobs.

-Nah, nothing hurts anymore, it's all good. At first it was weird, and honestly I think it's all about looks, from all I've heard it doesn't taste the best. But I mean, it does probably taste like metal, what the fuck do anyone expect?

She rambles, giggling after her small vent, her eyes finding Matt's. He had a tiny smirk on his lips, and a know-it-all face like he was about to say she just said the most obvious thing ever. But he doesn't. Instead, he decides to taste the water.

-I mean, probably yeah, but I wouldn't mind the metal taste.

His words caught her by surprise, her eyes widening just the slightest bit.

-Oh, really?

He was scared of crossing the limits. But she was also giving him open doors to flirt with her. Matt was trying to keep things slow and friendly, with a little bit of flirting, but he wasn't exactly prepared to see where things would go from here. Although, he wouldn't and couldn't stop himself. Not now, when his dick is already starting to grow hard.

His only response was to look at her with a shrug, his way of confirming it without seeming so desperate.

-Well, alright, I mean, if you ever wanna try it...

She doesn't waste any time giving him one more extremely open door, a fucking gigantic wall of opportunity. She also made it look like it wasn't a big deal, but she was clearly offering him to change things in their friendship. And he would be insanely crazy to turn it down.

-Just to know if I like it, right? -Matt smirks grow, and the way she bites her lips and nods is all he needs to cross that line.

(end of 3rd person)

Matt moves his hand to the side of my body, pulling me closer. He keeps us just mere inches apart, our breathing mixing together. He keeps his eyes on mine, his hand gently caressing my waist, before slowly lowering it to the hem of my t-shirt.

We were almost having a telepathic conversation, his eyes asking for permission and a quick nod of my head encouraging him to slide his fingers under my shirt. The coldness of his fingertips contrasting with my warm skin makes me fold my lips to prevent myself from sighning loudly.

He starts to slowly explore my skin, his fingers curiously roaming around the new territory. Matt finally makes his move by slightly brushing his fingertip on my nipple. He feels the cold jewelry, how hard my nipples were, how the piercing could easily slide side to side.

I had to close my eyes when his gaze felt too intense and I let myself sigh when I feel his hand squeezing my breasts. It only makes it easier for him to keep it going and feel free to do more.

Matt quickly take control and push me backwards on the bed, hovering over me, keeping him up by his forearm next to my face while his other hand keeps squeezing and playing with my boobs.

I open my eyes to see him in a position I've never seen before. One of my best friends on top of me, squeezing my boobs. He notices my gaze and smiles, leaning down to press gentle kisses on my neck.

It was hard to keep the loud sighs from leaving, my head immediately tilting to give him more access. It didn't take long until he was lifting my t-shirt up my chest and attacking my nipples with his mouth, a loud surprised gasp escaping my lips.

He swirled his tongue around my nipple, licked it and sucked it lightly. My hand goes to his hair, pulling him closer as I throw my head back with eyes closed and lips parted.

He keeps the assault on my nipples, leaving red and purple marks on the valley of my boobs. Matt was clearly taking his time, enjoying it. He uses his fingers to pinch my right nipple while he kitty licked the other one, eliciting a low moan from my lips.

His lips keeps pleasuring me, making me look down at him when he starts to lower his kisses to the hem of my sweatpants. I prop myself on my elbows, not knowing what to say after all that, but he doesn't wait for me, slowly slipping my pants down my ankles, giving me time to stop him if I wanted to. But I didn't.

Matt starts kissing my thighs, my breathing getting heavier with each kiss. He leaves open mouth kisses on my inner thighs, his fingers sliding under the sides of my panties, gently pushing them down.

-Fuck, you're so beautiful.

His voice was low and hoarse, making me immediately clench around nothing and bite my lips. He leans his head enough to be in the middle of my thighs, and his tongue licks a stripe from my entrance to my clit, a shaky moan escaping my lips.

I let myself lay backwards again, one of my hands gripping the sheets and the other finding it's way back to his hair.

Matt eats me out like a starved men, moving his head and feeling every single detail and spot of my pussy with his tongue. His hands are on each of my thighs, keeping me still for him. Just the sight of him in between my legs, eating me out, was enough to make me wetter.

He for sure knows what he's doing.

My moans get louder, and I can't even stop them from coming when he's this good. He tongue fucks me, sliding one of his hands down my stomach and pushing my skin up with his thumb to kitty lick my clit.

-Matt, fuck, keep going. -I moan, my eyes rolling back.

I can feel his smirk when he moves his hand under his chin and slide one finger in, continuing his movements. My knuckles are white gripping the sheets, the tug on his hair tightened and I pull him even closer, my hips bucking and rolling against his face.

-Shit, Matt! -I moan his name loudly when I feel the familiar knot on my stomach starting to form.

He increases his pace, determined to make me finish, and with my persistent moans it was easy to see that I was close. It doesn't take long for the knot to snap and I release all over his face, my juices dripping down his chin.

He rides out my orgasm, pulling his face away and looking up at me before pushing his finger out. He licks his finger clean and hovers over me again, my chest rising and falling rapidly and my half lidded eyes meeting his.

He smiles, wiping my juices out his chin with the top of his hand, his eyes looking down to my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. I could feel my own taste on his tongue.

My hands are quick to lift his shirt, the fabric soon discarded with my own clothes on the floor. Feeling his skin so close to mine was so different, yet so good. His pants were next on the floor and my hand was fast to palm his bulge. He was big, I could feel it over his boxers, it would be painful to fit.

When we were both fully naked, I let myself stare down his body. His lips curved into a smile, his hand stroking his shaft a few times before teasing my folds with his tip.

-Are you sure? -He asks, in a low voice, not stopping the teasing for a second.

-A hundred percent sure. -I nod, feeling him slide his tip in.

I gasp in pleasure and surprise, my eyes closing to focus on adjusting when he pushs all of him at once.

-Fuck, so tight. -He whispers, burying his head on my shoulder.

-Tell me when to move. -Matt's voice is quiet, like he was battling not to thrust unless I was comfortable enough.

I take my time to adjust, shifting under him to find the best position. When I finally feel ready, I give him the permission to move and he does. And god it feels so good.

He begins to bite a few hickeys on my neck, one of his arms keeping him up and the other pulling my leg up to thrust deeper. His hand was on my thigh, keeping my leg up, and my hands were leaving bruises on his back.

His thrusts were fast and deep, hitting all the right places. He pulls away from my neck just to kiss me again, a slow and sloppy kiss that didn't match the pace of his thrusts, but made everything feel better.

-Touch yourself, sweetheart. -He orders, still with his lips against mine.

My heart skips a beat with how hot it was to hear him saying that, and I easily comply, moving one hand to rub circles on my clit.

My moans are swallowed by his kiss, the sensitivity and intensity of the situation making another orgasm build up my stomach.

-Matt, fuck, I... -I cut the kiss to warn him, his eyes finding mine.

-Go on, cum all over my cock for me.

His dirty words were enough to make me climax once more. A loud moan of his name hanging from my lips, encouraging Matt to fuck me harder and faster to ride my orgasm and reach his own.

-Fuck, where do you want me? -He asks, his voice desperate and shaky.

-In me. -I whisper, immediately feeling his hot seed filling me up.

Our foreheads were together, both of us catching our breaths. He slowly pulls out and collapses on the bed beside me. I whine when I feel our mixed cums dripping down my shaky legs.

-I'll get us cleaned. -He announced, standing and reaching for a towel.

He cleaned himself, then cleaned me up and helped me wear my clothes again, pressing a quick kiss on my forehead.

-Do you need anything? Water? Need to pee? -He asks, looking at me with attention, and I smile with the way he was so caring.

-I'll go pee, can you get us some water in the meantime?

He nods and we do exactly what we said. It's just when we lay down together again that I realize what we just did. Matt looks at me quietly, pushing a strand of hair out off my face and behind my ear.

-Matt... -I call his attention, witch he immediately granted.

-Yes, sweetheart?

-We fucked. -I tilt my head a bit, confused with my own choice of words, but he only laughed and nodded.

-Yeah, we did. -His hand slide down my waist, pulling me closer to him.

-And... uh, now what?

I went straight to the point, although my words weren't exactly good to show what I was implying. It would be okay if he said it was just it and we're just friends, but I kind of didn't want it to be just an one time thing.

-I don't know.

He also seemed confused, not sure where this would lead us.

-Are we just going to ignore it and pretend it didn't happen, or we're going to acknowledge it but keep things friendly from now on, or we'll be able to do it again someday?

I ask, and he smiles cutely, pressing a quick peck on my lips.

-I don't want to just ignore it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep things friendly after that, only if that's what you want, but if your willing to I'd rather continuing fucking you sometimes.

He laughs, and I couldn't help but giggle too.

-You're an idiot. But, yeah, I'd actually like that.

-Oh, so you want me to keep fucking you. -He smirks, squeezing my waist, and I laugh at him.

-Shut up, Matt. Only sometimes. -I roll my eyes, and he pulls me into another kiss.

-I'm good with that.

a/n: omg this is TERRIFYING how do you guys post this kind of stuff so normally 😭 it was fun to write but it's so scary to post, I really hope it's at least understandable lol

[peasantexchangeprogram]

helloo since we're on the topic: top historical fiction (or adjacent) ? can be any time period I just really love your taste in shows/games/etc and am always on the lookout for history inspired media !

thank you!!! im rly glad im like. inspiring other ppl to engage w things im insane abt hudofajsdfdassfsad. anyways. i will probably expand that list bc i literally forgot every single thing i ever read. also i havent watched that many movies so far

ancient times: i havent really watched a lot of movies/series set in ancient times so far :(

rome HBO (2005-2007) (tv series) - OF COURSE. i personally think its one of the best series ever made. they combine political, miliatry history with the lives of every day people in an incredible way. they never let you once engage with the series through modern lenses. according to my teacher (a historian, archeologist & self described 'romaphile') its incredibly historically accurate, mostly the clothing, set designs, characterization, military practices, etc. except for the things they straight up made up, of course.

i really enjoyed gladiator (2000), i think its a masterpiece.

prince of egypt (1998) i guess?

all the asterix movies of course, all the animated ones and most of the live actions. but i wouldnt really call it historical fiction

ok i havent actually finished watching it for now but sebastiane (1976) - an erotic, x rated, gay interpretation of the martyrdom of st sebastian. its in latin also.

wait i cant believe i forgor about assassin's creed odyssey - so far the only one ive played. its so fun and incredibly immersive visually. especially pour moi who cries into the pillow about how ill never experience the ancient world. also you can b a faggot which is always fun. i have things to say about their portrayal of same-sex sexuality and slavery in classical greece but i get why they did that considering its supposed to like. appeal to a lot of people, and a more "historically accurate" portrayal (for example of pederasty or how common slavery was etc.) would b v difficult for a lot of their target audience. alas.

medieval and early modern era:

the name of the rose (1986) - my medieval history teacher literally showed us bits of this movie to teach us about monasteries and monks fhdosiasdjasd.

the borgias (2011-2013) - incredibly messy, lots of political intrigue, and so so fun to watch. about the history of the borgia family. filled to the brim with drama.

the three musketeers (1993) - my favorite adaptation, also coincidentally the one i grew up on. casting tim curry as richelieu was genius. he slays so hard.

i also like bbc's the musketeers (2014-2016) - a neat little series. very fun and entertaining to watch.

outlaw king (2018) - like i dont think most ppl heard of this movie. its about robert the bruce's fight to reclaim the throne of scotland. starring chris pine

vikings (2013-2020) - its fun. i havent watched the entire series tho. dont expect anything resembling historical accuracy

the northman (2022) - you will see something resembling historical accuracy

mihai viteazul (michael the brave) (1971) - a fun movie. very much romanian propaganda tho.

1670 (2023-) - such a fun series!!! incredible cast, shows respect to the actual history and the lives of historical people. really cute and funny.

caravaggio (1986) - a biopic about caravaggio.

wait i also forgor about pentiment - an intriguing, immersive, and incredibly beautiful video game! it has a lot of 'the name of the rose' vibes, with it being a medieval murder mystery taking place in a monastery. its incredibly touching and made me cry, and in the last few years i very rarely cry. also im 99% sure its an indie game? go support the creators!

vaguely-medieval/early modern fantasy:

mirror mirror (2012) - a retelling of snow white. a very fun movie imo, with incredible costume design. julia roberts plays the evil queen and she SLAYS. armie hammer is unfortunately in that movie.

stardust (2007) - one of my fave movies growing up. more modern-inspired but still.

the green knight (2021) - controversial i know but i actually loved this movie! i liked it both as a standalone movie but moreso as a 21st century adaptation to sir gawain and the green knight.

galavant (2015-2016) - !!!!!!! one of the most series ever! they manage to tackle such difficult concepts and conversations with a hilarious wit. so fun to watch. i listen to a lot of the songs still, and rewatch every once in a while.

disenchantment (2018-2023) - very fun to watch, especially the first season.

i also really liked the novel uprooted by naomi novik. its a polish-inspired fantasy.

modern era:

killers of the flower moon (2023) - of course. a masterpiece

aferim! (2015) - a romanian movie set in 19th century wallachia, about two officers, a father and son, who were sent by a nobleman to retrieve an escaped enslaved romani man. a lot of the people in the comments were calling the movie humorous and funny, maybe im missing smth (as im watching with subtitles n dont understand the original language) but it was a very difficult watch for me??

the handmaiden (2016) - need i say more

black sails (2014-2017) - a prequel to the famous novel 'treasure island'. not an easy series to watch. incredibly good.

the favourite (2018) - need i say more pt 2

the rabbi's cat (le chat du rabbin) (2011) - animated movie set in early 20th century algeria. a rabbi's cat learns to talk overnight.

the nice guys (2016) - a fun murder mystery set in the 1970s

o brother, where art thou (2000) - a retelling of the odyssey set in the southern us in the 1930s

victor/victoria (1982) - set in early 20th century paris. julie andrews pretends to be a man and takes on a job as a drag queen. extremely fun, extremely gay movie.

lady chatterley's lover (2022) - very much porn for moms but it was a nice watch imo

amulet (2020) - set in like. idk. sometime in the 20th century. this is a horror movie, deals a lot with misogyny, sa, and so on. i really like it, personally. a lot of people, mostly weird men, dont tho.

the great (2020-2023) - i have mixed feelings about this show. on the one hand, its really fun to watch. on the other hand, its basically ofmd for girls who have public mental breakdowns whenever someone claims corsets were oppressive. and theyre so weird about russians, jesus christ.

disses:

domina (2021-) - i just couldnt get into it, esp since i tried right after finishing rome hbo. it was kind of silly, and not in a good way. takes itself wayyyy to seriously.

i didnt like spartacus (2010-2013) - the dialogue was almost grotesque and the editing, especially the transitions, straight up killed me

damsel (2024) - holy fuck what a trainwreck of a movie. absolute waste of angela basset and robin wright. the only good thing were the costumes.

lancelot du lac (1974) - i just didnt like it at all. couldnt get into it. i guess it was way too french and artsy fartsy for me. a movie that was trying to say both too little and too much at the same time.

i didnt rly like bram stoker's dracula (1992) - i mean. it was a fine movie. it was definitely not the godfather. the movie itself was meh. the visuals tho? absolutely stunning

[indigosabyss]

okay I lied. Tommy & Wally interactions aren't the best thing about a YA/YJ crossover.

Have you considered the absolute madness that would follow Jason Todd meeting Robbie Reyes????

Esp if we're pulling from his edgier phases, when he's in Ghost Rider mode, the persona is v much "I died and climbed my way out of hell to fight crime". Plus that and his tactics relying on fear and violence that even spill into murder (tho he doesn't anymore). Not to mention the sick ass car. Jason would be at least intrigued by the guy.

And then they meet each other outside of the mask and it's just this tired scared guy who wants to head back to his home dimension and check up on his brother. But is stuck here instead.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss L, i have a spiritual/religious question and i don't know anyone else who could answer it.... since i was a kid i've been attracted to tarot, spirituality, mystical explanations of the worlds workings, astrology, all that good stuff. i never used to connect my spirituality to a single higher power, and i never had any issues with this. for a few years i've been wanting more than just a disturbingly accurate tarot spread and i feel compelled towards god. i'm not sure how to word it honestly! i keep getting messages all around me telling me the saint that watches over me, and that god is there too. so here's my issue.

whenever i reach out and pray or do any kind of ritual or reach out specifically to god or a saint, my life immediately starts going haywire. yesterday i set up a small shrine in my room for my dead kitty since i've been feeling better about her passing and i prayed a little. i asked for sign that i was going in the right direction, and hours after i prayed, our sink plumbing got clogged, my cat (living) ran out and had to be caught, my mom dropped a whole bowl of food, and i wasn't able to pick up groceries bc the bank cards wouldnt work. this never happens in my household, we've been joking that we're cursed. this happens everytime i try to reach out to god. the worst time was when my mom lost her job, dad crashed his car, and i kept having panic attacks out of the blue for a week. i freaked out and took everything i said back and bathed in salt water for hours hoping i could cleanse whatever happened to me. it worked and my life was back to normal the next day.

do you have any advice? i would love to put my trust in a higher power as i've never been religious before, but smthn is going wrong somehow.

thank you for reading, i love seeing you on the dash and your music is so soothing and nostalgic. much love!! <3 <3 <3 <3

so sweet, and caring, thankyou u//u...im sorry things have been difficult :< The following message does not in any way endorse the claim that i understand God, that God could ever be understood, or that any one of us should every try to understand the -inner workings- of God ! purely my feelings v v v

i relate to ur background cus i grew up w no religion, my parents didnt talk about any kind of woo-woo stuff, my dads dad was woo-woo AF and my dad haaaaated it so he rejected all of it so i was pree much just a blank slate. but for some reason i was just REALLY obsessed w magical thinking and the like. believed in god spirits nature deities angels demons magic aliens and i was totaly engrossed in ~my secret world~. i was kinda scared of religion tho i viewed it in a bad light since i was learning about it during the george bush post-9/11 era & for some reason my child self was rly interested in consuming critique of america , iraq war / westboro baptist church type stuff , from an outsider's perspective i saw religion as something american people used as justification for committing atrocities & crazy power trips , which, i mean.. anyways

it didnt help me trust God xD but many of my beliefs remained into my teens i just didnt have any outlet for them. so i got into astrology around 15/16, started learning more about tarot & occultish type things, crytstals, all those subjects intrigued me very much. but i felt the same way as you, like, something was still lacking from it, even when i got these super profound tarot readings, or read my birth chart a million times over looking for clues about ~wtf is this stupid life for~ , i never felt safe. never felt assured, never felt i could trust myself or my future. it was an odd period, early 20s. but then kinda same as u, as my knowledge on these topics expanded i started to notice the quality of Holiness a lot more. the more i learned about different religions the more i realized how connected it all was, and how religion connects to "the occult", and magic, light and dark, i find it very hard to put into words. i just started to find myself actually really earnestly believing in God in a way i never thought i could? Like reading the bible & being completely enthralled, i NEVER woulda thought. i started to feel way safer in the world even tho im still not "christian" technicaly. but i believe in jesus now and it makes me feel safe on a cellular level.

i believe the real jesus was wholly non judgemental and loved everyone no matter what, the thing that susses me out about Religious Institutions was always the judgement that can spawn from it. misses the point of everrything in my opinion.

its kinda wild actually cus when i used to be into like, trash reality tv ghost hunting shows, i remember there was one ep where this psychic was talking about how she always prays to jesus for protection before doing a reading or entering a haunted place. that really intrigued me cus i thought jesus and psychic automatically cancelled each other out. i think that moment rly opened up the rabbitehole and it was so mundane like wtf. still rememebr it tho!

sorry im really in a typing mood tonight.. So my next point was gonna be that, just because i started to really believe in god and jesus and really PRAY for protection & guidance, my life did not get easier xD like i would say the past 6 years have been nothing short of a shit show. my life was fucked before that too tho so its hard to compare, but still, its safe to say my shift in perspective actually brought a lot of chaos into mylife. the point of it, i feel, is that i had to dismantle it in order to truly Live in the frequency of trusting God. because this was new to me! i wanted to trust God, i put out the energy of seeking God, and God was like ok hold on tight..

So now i'm here all these years later like, oh yeah God is real and i love him and it's all real. it's CEMENTED into me lol. When i used to say i trust God it still felt like i was asking permission to be able to feel that way. but now i really really do. And messed up stuff will keep happening forever because there needs to be light & dark, there can't b one without the other. But now i have faith in a really personal way that i wld never attempt to transfer onto another like even by talking about these experiences & concepts i still feel like i don't want to prove anything. except that it's worth it to keep trying, i guess :]

and OK this is really just how i feel like take it with a grain of salt , but from what i've gathered, if you believe in energy entities & astral happenings & whatnot, well. it's my opinion that the invisible low frequency parasites that feed on many ppl's dread & fear, when they're attached to u and u begin to raise your vibration, they get very upset and throw a fit. like think of a demon being exorcised, u know, u imagine it having a total fit in a desperate fight for it's life. if ur appeasing the demon and letting it use you then of course it's going to keep things on an even keel, u kno?

taking a salt bath was a good thing to do tho like one of the best things <3 its also good to have crosses or your holy item of choice around the house, light white candles, organize clutter. pray a lot like every time u feel happy and safe or notice something beautiful say thanku to God.. talk to your angels and encourage them i pray a lot specifically to strengthen them, upgrade their armor n shih...i ask them to work for my loved ones, i try to be concentrated on them, visualize them around me all the time, visualize them standing guard outside every door. i feel this kinda stuff increases ur Holy EXP and over time your spiritual armor gets stronger, bad entities move on and things in life start really flow. the trust just has to b there first, and it will be, so long as u allow it <3

it just takes time, and like i said i dont want to prove anything or be The Convincer, but if u were already having feelings to go down this path i recommend not giving up and let God carry u through those tough situations instead of seeing them as an absence of God or God's Wrath. just keep praying cus it can't hurt right, even if it's just a way to occupy your mind with kind thoughts about your friends and family, there's no downside to prayer. its your own journey so u just gotta live it and feel it out ^^ but pls dont feel u are being punished by God or demons or anything else! So many "bad" things that happen end up being neutral or even "good" in the long run. We can never foresee the reasoning behind God's plan ~~~

yeah, this was a long one, wow...i drank a energy drink 12 hours ago i think it made me hyper.. well have a swell evening if ur reading this anon!! o also i liek to listen to psalms before bed to help me feel calm i feel like it helps bring in angels. i think i will do so now, thanks for the Q i hope things improve for u very soon. Good night anon < 3 3 3 PMD 9

[kittycowboy]

PART TWO OF MSC THIRD WHEELING SAGA:

Me: oh you played identity v too thats so neat!!!

Bai Liu: of course, its a horror mobile game made by a local (chinese) company, also quite interesting mechanics (even though its mainly from DBD)

Me: they worked together tho right? the games' production company

Bai Liu: Yeah they did, very cool tbh. Btw, did you play ranked? like won any esports tournament?

Me: me???? pfft nah i was like a casual player i guess. Who did you main?

Bai Liu: mostly player Survivor as Mechanic but I also dabble in playing Prisoner or Prospector. What about you, who'd you main (as a survivor)

Me: oh thats freaking fun man im a gardener main. What about Hunter?

Bai Liu: I mean I don't really main Hunters but i do admit they have pretty good designs, not so creepy to not get censored but quite intriguing and unsettling in their own way. Like Wu Chang? cool mechanic

Me: Right??? i could never play him though I'm mostly like a Naiad main?

Bai Liu: Naiads cool and quite OP, wish there was like a merman hunter too lol

Mu Sicheng: this pork is so good you guys i hope you two KILL YOURSELVES right NOW. ill set this table on fire . ill take all of it with my skill and we will finally be free of this purgatory. You guys have ANY idea how much time we're wasting right now????

Bai Liu: like , 4 minutes? tops?

Mu Sicheng: IT'LL BE 12 HOURS BY THE TIME YOU TWO ARE DONE YAPPING

Me: what if i killed you? shut up. let us talk about devising a strategy to collect the monster book pages

Bai Liu: oh yeah we havent been doing that havent we

Me: I mean, we've mostly been talking about the economy and horror gacha so no, also you guys havent told me what yall want and what yall are offering for this supper btw

Mu Sicheng: i want your damn life

Me: hey man I know im like famous but my life is probably worth more than your entire game inventory so like no thanks, can you give me unbothered henry instead?

unbothered henry: 🙉

Bai Liu: can i get like infinite mental bleach from here and keep it in my inventory? it counts right?

Me: well i have a lot stocked up so surezies what are u paying with

Bai Liu: a chance to browse all my irl game accounts in different games and try out all my characters whenever you want

Me: okay deal

Mu Sicheng: SERIUOUSLY??;?!!!??! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?!

Me: system, mute disciple Mu Sicheng hes interrupting our nice friday night dinner right now

System: ['The Last Supper' Target Mu Sicheng is currently in Mute 🔕 mode! Time set to 3 minutes muted as there are 3 participants currently in the domain!]

Bai Liu: unbothered henry doesn't count as a guest? that's so sad

Me: nah hes a meal

unbothered henry: 🐵...

LMAOOOOOO

[yagentoushirouu]

I'M NOT SENDING ANY MORE HELP ASKS I SWEAR, THE LAST WAS LIKE 12 HOURS AGO IM JUST WATCHING EVERYTHING FROM AFAR

((yeah i believe you!! haha i think you started a trend though - but we ‘re still having fun so thank you! (｡´∀｀)ﾉ))

[kidknux]

TFRQ Blaster, a bot that i know almost nothing about but boy who I was madly possessed to design anyways. He’s of a similar build as Soundwave, turning into a slightly smaller CD player, and for part of the war he served as a deployer captain in much the same way.

It’s a shame that CDs are so fragile.

After an unfortunate incident destroyed his team, Blaster was left unable to work on the field or with new deployers without breaking down. Because of that he was relegated to work behind the lines, primarily recording and transmitting messages between the Autobot leaders and their troops. It was while he was working with communications that he met the archivist, Rewind, one of his closest friends after the incident. Other bots he’s close to are Rewind’s conjunx, Chromedome, and fellow music lover Jazz. He’s a lot more skittish and easily set off than he used to be, something he tries to cover up by playing up his upbeat nature.

His paranoia has also given his pirate radio station incredible security. Unwilling to do nothing about the war and their own corruption, Ultra Magnus recruited Blaster as part of his own group, working to destabilize the government and purge it of any remnants of the old functionalist senate. Under the fake name Twincast, he leaks information on the darkest parts of the council, broadcasting their skeletons in the closet out where anyone on cybertron can see them. Naturally, Twincast is a highly wanted bot, and Blaster keeps his secret from everyone short of Ultra Magnus himself out of fear that spreading the information any farther could lead to him being offlined or worse.