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#we've been stuck here for a year!!
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hi! i was thinking about the difference in kaveh’s reaction in a parade of providence’s ending when it is alhaitham vs the traveler telling him about his father with relation to sachin. with traveler, kaveh readily and openly admits that he still feels guilty anyway. with alhaitham, he curiously doesn’t, and I wonder if that’s conscious or unconscious. Does he know, however subconsciously, that alhaitham disagrees with him feeling guilty over his father’s death, or that alhaitham was trying to help him overcome that guilt? but he is not ready to let go of it so he specifically doesn’t mention it to not provoke a discussion and give alhaitham the chance to further show him reasons why he shouldn’t feel guilty? both to avoid being swayed and more arguing about a painful topic… (or maybe he just got distracted by alhaitham’s teasing about ‘thank you’s. or maybe the teasing was alhaitham’s olive branch and a way to go back to their usual banter because he knew the new info was still not enough and kaveh wasn’t ready yet…)
anyway, just wondering about how kaveh, while having no problem discussing delicate and private matters with alhaitham (this conversation, and then when he was homeless at the tavern) presumably because he trusts him and still feels close to him in a familiar way, is very, very careful to not mention his guilt still… could also be trauma after their final thesis argument, maybe?
hiya!! thank you so much for this ask!! HAPPY ONE YEAR TO A PARADE OF PROVIDENCE!! <333
you raise extremely valid and scrummy points, thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about this event hehehe
i think it's deliberately ambiguous as to kaveh's thinking here, as you've said, with the traveler, kaveh openly admits that although his father's depressive slump after the interdarshan championship and him joining a research project in the desert wasn't directly connected to him, rather it was sachin's influence, kaveh still believes he was the catalyst for this chain of events, and therefore he believes he is still to blame
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with alhaitham, however, this mention of guilt is omitted, and kaveh thanks alhaitham for letting him know about 'all this', which reads not only as alhaitham letting kaveh know about sachin's influence over his father, but also as a reference to their discussion about their respective philosophies - with alhaitham concluding that their issue is not who is right or wrong in their approach to life, because as is concluded within this event - 'correctness' is a subjective way of thinking; alhaitham being 'right' about egoism, or kaveh being 'right' about altruism, ultimately doesn't matter, but, to alhaitham, what does matter is sacrificing oneself for the sake of a subjective ideal - this is a fate he does not want for kaveh
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the difference in context between the traveller telling kaveh about sachin versus alhaitham, is that kaveh knows that alhaitham is looking into sachin but he doesn't know why alhaitham is specifically interested as he (rightfully) knows that alhaitham isn't interested in nihilism. this contradiction in alhaitham's behaviour is such an issue for kaveh that he repeatedly questions it within the remainder of the event after discovering alhaitham's note, seemingly about sachin, but addressed to kaveh in a language only they know. when the traveller reveals the news to kaveh, this context is removed, and the connection between the discovery and alhaitham is severed. the element of personal has been omitted.
when alhaitham tells kaveh the news, however, kaveh questions why alhaitham is interested in sachin's research, only for alhaitham to tell him that it isn't because of philosophies at all - it's due to sachin's connection to kaveh's father. this is personal. alhaitham is the only one who knows about the source of kaveh's guilt, in comparison to the traveller and paimon, who kaveh evaded confiding in. it's revealed to kaveh here that alhaitham has personally looked into this matter for kaveh's sake - but the question left unanswered is why?
in terms of kaveh's understanding of alhaitham, this is a pretty big deal, since kaveh interprets alhaitham as constantly criticising his ideals and his philosophies (whereas, alhaitham is actually highlighting the detriment of kaveh's pursuit of his ideals). alhaitham openly stating that they have moved on from asserting 'correctness' over each other, and that this isn't the issue, actively prompts the question of what the actual issue is - coupled with this is the impact of alhaitham's actions in this event. alhaitham leaves kaveh a cryptic note about the idealist never being able to accomplish happiness for themselves if they detriment themselves for the sake of achieving happiness for others, which kaveh (rightfully) doesn't understand in relation to sachin. and then alhaitham reveals to kaveh that he looked into his father's disappearance, and kaveh is not the sole instigator as he believes himself to be.
your point about kaveh's guilt never openly being discussed is crucial here i think in terms of subtext. the source of his guilt, being his belief he lead to his father's passing, is questioned by paimon and the traveler, to which kaveh evades telling them. alhaitham is the only person who does know the reason kaveh detriments himself in his altruism, as shown in their argument in their akademiya days. alhaitham looking into sachin must tell kaveh something, but again, it isn't revealed exactly what kaveh thinks, and alhaitham never reveals the reasons why he looked into it, and what he hopes to achieve.
although i think this is more due to narrative reasons, the wounds left from their argument are definitely a factor in this evasion of mentioning kaveh's guilt - a parade of providence deliberately highlights the miscommunication between alhaitham and kaveh, and this is solely due to their past argument. kaveh not mentioning his guilt could be because he doesn't fully understand why alhaitham has looked into this incident for his sake, and alhaitham says nothing more about it because he knows it's still too early for kaveh to process - narratively, i think this is what's at play here
alhaitham teasing him is definitely a way to revert back to their normalcy, however, i also think it serves as a distraction - and it works!! kaveh is relatively cheery in comparison to how upset (as described by paimon) he is when the traveler tells him the news. narratively wise, i think it's a good place to leave it as nothing is inherently confirmed - the potentiality for kaveh and alhaitham separating is eradicated; kaveh and alhaitham continue living with each other, and kaveh is seemingly no longer intent on moving out of alhaitham's house, having thanked alhaitham for his words, rather than finding them 'infuriating'. this is an open ending and gives their narrative arcs freedom to potentially (hopefully) be developed in the future
(from the leaks, i'm going to say that the 'good' ending, or the ending that coincides with the arc that these characters are undertaking, is the ending in which it is alhaitham who tells kaveh of sachin's involvement with his father - i'll have more to say about this at another time!!)
Thank you again for your ask?? Your points were really insightful into their messy little psyches!! Everything you said rings true <333
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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 6 months
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Feeling slightly better today because I finally cleaned up the last worst part of the mould so now keeping everything clean should be a lot easier
Also recieved $30 (thank you!!) bringing the total this month to...around £90, after exchange and processing? Currently sitting with £40 bc my phone bill came out and, yeah, we're generally short a couple hundred and we got less in this month to begin with. Currently trying to decide between electricity and being allowed to work lmfao
Kofi as always, just in case anyone is still up to helping <3
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revasserium · 1 year
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✒ 💜💜💜
Send me a ✒️ and I'll tell you a poem or a line of poetry that reminds me of you or your blog!
what are the odds of finding someone... who knows not to just lend a hand, or an ear when you need them to give you their spine - ~ sarah kay and phil kaye, an origin story
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boops you on the nose like the freddy fazbear poster from fnaf 1
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femmeboyhooters · 2 years
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Why does life ALWAYS have to be shit
#summer was fine except for everything that started breaking in here#this winter has been fucking dark#and i wanna fucking die#crying tonight because my skin fucking burns and rashes every time i wash my face at night bc everything in the bathroom is moldy#like everything is black and or gray#i barely even shower because it smells so bad in there#it wasn't supposed to do this and we have the theory this place was moldy when we bought it#especially the bathroom bc the shower wasn't finished and we've been too broke to fix it at all#the mattress has black mold everywhere even on the outside of a sealed mattress protector with an antimicrobial coating#my hormones and health have been fucked up since November#weather wise this is one of the coldest and wettest winter in this area in like 40+ years#the last three days i have had to stay up all night to make sure the water doesnt shut off freeze in the pipes or flood managing that 24/7#bc on valentines day it dumped more snow than an average winter should have here in 24 hours and then dropped below freezing#i got my psoriasis and eczema back#i have thrush now#i can't breathe most the time bc my throat has been reacting like anaphylaxis and my airways start to close#oh and on top of that my husband just hasn't been working for a month bc there's no work at his job so we have all of 0.54 cents in account#we gotta pay rent in a week hopefully we don't get kicked out og where we're parking#and bc of the work stuff we can't move for a few months till we can get enough saved to do that and so im stuck here#i live in abject squalor#oh also did i mention everything i own has to fit into two cupboards now due to the mold ruining all our shit#and all the cupboards but two are rotted out#and the floor in our room is peeling up and breaking off bc of the mold#we both are having an incredibly hard time mentally#my txt
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madesofgold · 2 years
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#i don't normally post stuff like that here but i need a place where i can just vent within it being seen by those people#anyway ok i just wish my friends were my friends more alsksjdj#i see ppl with their best friends how they talk about them what they do together and it just makes me sad#bc i want to have someone like that to do stuff and be silly with and talk and just hang out and i miss my best friend#bc we don't do that anymore#we've barely seen each other last year and when we do it's always just briefly and we never get to talk about deeper themes#some things i'm desperate to talk to her about and we've always done that but now she never has time for me#it feels like I've been replaced by her gf and they're doing everything together and i guess that's what you do you abandon your friends#no I'm not bitter or jealous. at least I'm trying not to be#she also has other friends a different group from uni that I've never met and i see she's having fun with them#and i don't have any of that and I really want to have a group of friends i just can't seem to find any#and we also barely even text anymore. sometimes i reach out and then it can take over a day for her to answer and it just feels shitty#ik she has her reasons and she's not doing it bc she doesn't want to talk or doesn't like me lol but it sucks that we can't even text#and i can't help but wonder if she does that to other people or if she's texting her gf right away and ughhhh#she feels so distant but i don't want that. i don't want us to be like that#i only have two real good friends that I've known forever and my other friend also sucks at reaching out and has her bf and friends#who i know but i'm also not really a part of that group. so basically i never see my friends and i feel fucking lonely woohoo nothing new#i want to have friends who reach out and just casually text me and i can tell them about my day and i see them at least once a week#and we can just hang out and have fun and god i sound so pathetic i don't even have that#somehow i missed the call where everyone started having their group of adult friends and a romantic partner and I'm still stuck#everyone just kind of has their own lives and I'm not a part of it#it just hit me again today i literally had a dream i met a bunch of people and we were having fun and it reminded me of how lonely i am lol#*without it being seen wow great typo in the first sentence that i can't change now#anyway i wish there were songs about this particular situation that i could listen to and be emo but i can't find any rip
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neverendingford · 30 days
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#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
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bugsbenefit · 1 month
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internet in the middle of nowhere is kind of decent this year yippie
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swagrum76 · 6 months
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Five Nights at Your Moms
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hedgehog-moss · 2 months
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Last spring my neighbour asked if I could let Pirlouit mow the grass around his barn from time to time, which Pirou was happy to do at first but if I left him there several days in a row he got pretty sad about being alone (lots of wistful, melancholy braying). So this year when my donkey was hired for this job again, I went for a different formula: for the past few weeks I've been bringing all the animals to the neighbour's barn for an hour of landscaping services now and then at apéritif time.
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The fence is extremely not Pampe-proof so I have to have my apéritif while sitting on the road in a strategic position from which I can toss a stick in her direction if she tries to escape, but other than that I've been really enjoying this peaceful evening ritual, just sitting there reading and watching the animals while feeling like I'm doing my neighbour a favour. Pirlouit doesn't get all the grass to himself anymore but I've learnt that he prefers to be rich in friends than in food.
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You'll notice that Merricat is present in every photo, looking alert. She too has been hired, but for the thankless job of Thought Police. She may look like she's just napping on the warm asphalt with not a care in the world...
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... but she is working! Keeping an eye on the llamas, always.
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I've discovered that in a specific context my three cats can act as precogs and warn me of Pampe's future crimes. My theory is that they developed this skill because of Poldine, who loves cats. Any cat who enters the pasture will soon be noticed and (lovingly) chased by Poldine, who wants kisses. Cats not only do not want llama kisses, they don't differentiate between individual llamas. They are all potential kissers. So even if it looks like she's all relaxed, Merricat is constantly monitoring where the llamas are and what they seem to be planning. If we are on the other side of a fence and Pampe approaches it a bit too slyly, Merricat will jump to her feet, ready to flee (and I will toss one of my anti-Pampe sticks, and say NON.)
Merricat and I are a very good team! We've foiled several of Pampe's plots, but we need to be on the road for Merricat to remain wary (if we were in the pen Pampe's escape attempts would involve getting away from us and the cat wouldn't care.) Cars are rare so it's okay (plus it's so quiet you can always hear them coming), and on the few occasions when someone showed up and asked why I was having apéritif on the road, I pointed at Pampe and they were like, "Ah! Didn't see her here. Good luck!"
"Hedgehog-moss, you're exaggerating. Pampe can't be that—"
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She is! She is. And she always seems to notice when Merricat is on a bathroom break and I'm absorbed in a book.
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There was one evening though, when she got distracted by a fascinating new idea. I don't claim to know what's going on in this llama's head (except when she's looking at a fence, then it's easy) but as you can see, once I brought the animals to the barn Poldine started eating flowers, Pirlouit started eating grass, and Pampe started eating the wall.
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After a moment she slowly circled the barn, then stopped and lay down right next to it, settling down in a comfortable position but with focused ears and her head still turned towards the wall. It was suspicious behaviour, but on the other hand she now looked so uninterested in the road that I decided to take a risk and run home to bring back some dinner—and she didn't move while I was away! I even brought Pandolf, who is usually banned from these soirées because he would disturb my Merricat alarm system. He was happy to be finally included.
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It's unclear if Pampe was eating the wall, talking to the wall, or carefully examining various parts of the wall as Step 1 of 27 of a complex plan only she understands, but she stuck close to the barn all evening instead of lying in wait by the fence so I was able to have a picnic in the grass rather than on the road, which felt more bucolic. I know that "Pampérigouste has a new, mysterious project" is a worrying sentence but at this early stage (feasibility study) it felt to me and Merricat like a little holiday!
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rebeccathenaturalist · 9 months
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Welcome to my Tuesday morning PSA about plastics!
So--I was walking along the Bolstadt beach approach sidewalk here in Long Beach, WA yesterday afternoon, and I started seeing these little orange pellets on the ground that looked a little bit like salmon roe (but probably weren't). So I picked one up, and it was most definitely rubber. I went around picking up every one I could find, and while I didn't keep exact count I probably amassed 50-60 of them. I took this picture before depositing them in the nearest trash can.
These are airsoft gun pellets, and you can buy them in big jars containing thousands of them. That means that someone who decided that the beach was a great place to shoot their airsoft guns could easily litter the place with countless little bits of plastic rubber in less than an hour. We already have a huge problem here with people leaving trash, including tiny bits of plastic, all over the beach (you should see the gigantic mess after 4th of July fireworks when thousands of people come in from out of town, blow things up, and then leave again without picking up after themselves.)
But these airsoft pellets have a particularly nasty side effect. You know how my first thought was "wow, those look kind of like salmon roe?" Well, we have a number of opportunistic omnivore birds like crows, ravens, and several species of gull that commonly scavenge on the beach, especially along the approaches because people often feed them there. If I can catch the resemblance of an orange airsoft pellet to a fish egg, then chances are there are wildlife that will assume they're edible.
Since birds don't chew their food, they probably won't notice that the taste or texture is wrong--it'll just go down the hatch. And since they can't digest the pellets, there's a good chance they might just build up in the bird's digestive system, especially if the bird eats a large number of them--say, fifty or sixty of them dropped on the ground along the same fifty foot stretch of sidewalk. The bird might die of starvation if there's not enough capacity for food in their stomach--or they might just die painfully of an impacted gut, and no way to get help for it. If the pellets end up washed into the ocean, you get the same issue with fish and other marine wildlife eating them, and then of course the pellets eventually breaking up into microplastic particles.
You can get biodegradable airsoft pellets; they appear to mainly be gray or white in color rather than bright screaming orange and green. But "biodegradable" doesn't mean "instantly dissolves the next time it rains." An Amazon listing for Aim Green biodegradable airsoft pellets advertise them as "Our biodegradable BBs are engineered to degrade only with long-term exposure to water and sun and will degrade 180 days after being used." That's half a year for them to be eaten by wildlife.
I don't know, y'all. That handful of carelessly dropped rubber pellets just encapsulates how much people don't factor in the rest of nature when making decisions, even on something that is purely for entertainment like an airsoft gun. We could have had a lot of the same technological advances we have today, but with much less environmental impact, if we had considered the long-term effects on both other people and other living beings, as well as our habitats. We could have found ways from the beginning to make these things in ways that benefited us but also mitigated any harm as much as possible. Instead we're now having to reverse-engineer things we've been using for decades, and sometimes--like the "biodegradable" airsoft pellets--they still have a significant negative impact.
But--at least there are people trying to do things better, thinking ahead instead of just on immediate profit. We're stuck in a heck of a mess here, figuratively and literally, and changing an entire system can't be done in a day. Maybe we can at least keep pushing for a cultural shift that emphasizes planning far into the future--if not the often-cited "seven generations ahead", then at least throughout the potential lifespan of a given product.
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yeslordmyking · 2 years
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Even after the whole world was on lockdown and couldn’t go out, my parents are still always in a rush to get back home whenever they go somewhere. I’m like how in the world are you not sick of always being home? Don’t you want to be somehwere else for at least a few hours now?
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lymtw · 6 months
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Domestic drabble about Toji (mostly him being a needy hunk)
"Hey," Toji calls when he sees you walking in front of him, carrying a basket of clothes that just came out of the dryer. You don't hear him so you keep walking, only stopping when you hear a whistle that sounds like it's meant for a dog. You turn to him, a question mark decorating your face. He beckons to you, a mouthed 'come here' that you shake your head to and move on. "Come on, princess. Need to tell you something."
"You can't tell me from there? I have a lot to do, still."
"Don't wanna shout at you. I have manners."
You think back to the way he whistled to grab your attention and roll your eyes. You set the basket down on your bed and step back out to see what Toji needs.
"What?" Your hands are on your hips, waiting for him to answer.
"Come here, baby." He pulls on the knee area of your sweatpants, making your stumble forward.
"Toji," you giggle, as he pulls you until you fall into his lap. "What?" You repeat.
"Nothing, just missing you a bit, ma. You avoiding me?" He rests his hands on your waist, looking up at you with that gleam in his eyes. You know he normally looks at you this way when he wants something, and you feel so foolish for always giving in to him.
"I told you i'm busy. I have to finish folding the laundry, and I haven't even started dinner."
"Don't worry about that, right now. Looks like you could use a break. Don't you wanna stay a bit?"
"I do, but..."
"But, you love me and you'll spare me some company." His hands go under your shirt and squeeze your waist as he leans in to kiss your neck.
"T-Toji, this won't get done on time." Your arms wrap around his neck, your hands coming up to play with his hair as his lips continue to attack your neck.
"Mm," he hums, dismissively, continuing to drown himself in your scent. That little hum is his nonverbal way of saying 'and?'
"We'll have to order in for the third time this week." You gasp, his lips reaching a sensitive point. "I-It's not good for us."
"Mama..." he almost whines into your skin. "We've got it... under... control," he murmurs through kisses. "We have an excellent cardio routine, don't we?" He says, beneath your ear.
"Y-Yeah, I think so. But-"
Toji chuckles, "You think so?" He pulls back to see the honest look on your face. He looks like a wolf, ready to pounce on the little pleading bunny before him. His pupils almost completely devoured the green around them just from inhaling your irresistible scent and feeling your warm skin on his lips.
You look a little more shaken up than Toji, and he loves it. You're flustered, unable to respond to his question. You feel like there's cotton in your mouth, absorbing all the saliva in it, leaving you unable to cohere anything.
"You nervous, princess?" He grins like the big bad wolf he is, feasting on the way you swallow. Your fingers tremble as they rest on his shoulders.
"No. We've been together for years. I'm not." It took everything in you to declare that, but it was far from the truth.
"Oh yeah?" He says, a chuckle bubbling in his chest. He can see through this little facade of yours. It's in the way you avoid eye contact, the way your grip is loose on him, and as a result of the dryness in your mouth, you keep licking your lips.
Nonetheless, you nod in response to his question.
"Well... what if we switched positions," he says, flipping you so that you're laying on the couch, his body now wedged between your legs. You giggled at the swift movement, the smile dropping once you looked up. "I can watch you closely, and... you're stuck."
His hands maintain his balance by gripping the end of the couch, above your head. He towers over you, making you look so incredibly small beneath him.
"You're so pretty, ma. Could eat you up right now." He leans further down towards your face, gravity pulling his hair down so perfectly. "Could make you feel so good, if you let me."
You felt like you were sinking into the couch with how flustered you were, but Toji could see the needy twinkle in your eyes. Beneath this nervous, timid front, is a pretty girl who takes everything she's given.
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strlvvr · 4 months
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my best friend's brother (is the one for me) - matt sturniolo x reader
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where y/n has had a crush on her best friend nick’s brother for years
word count: 1.1k words
“i’m not setting you up with my brother.” nick said as he was unlocking the door to his house.
“oh come onnnn,” i whined walking into the house behind him, “he’s so fine though.”
“i’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that actually.” he laughed as matt came out of his room. i stopped for a second or two staring at him. i took in what he was wearing, grey fresh love sweatpants and a tight tank top. his hair all over the place, wiping sleep from his eyes.
"what did she say?" he questioned with tiredness in his voice. "nothing, nothing." i quickly replied eyeing nick not to say anything to his brother.
"you do know it's two p.m. right?" nick asked matt seeing the boy still in pajamas and obviously tired. 
"and? can't a man sleep in?" he said sarcastically. i couldn't help but laugh as i put the snacks me and nick had just bought in the fridge. "why are you laughing miss ‘sleep until four p.m.’? you can't be saying anything here." matt eyed me making me stop laughing as soon as he spoke.
"hey now, i haven't done that in months. didn't you just do that, let me see, yesterday?" i retorted watching him roll his eyes at my comment. 
i've been friends with the triplets since high school and moved out to l.a. around the same time as them. we became closer with the move, all of us looking for houses and making sure whatever houses we found weren't too far from each other.
i've had a crush on matt since we first met. only recently have i realized it's way more than a crush. i find myself craving him and his presence. we've always had more of a flirty friendship, which didn't help any of my feelings towards him. his nicknames for me bordering pet names, sweetheart, princess, baby.
“whatever you say, princess.” 
“of course we can get food, sweetheart.”
“I don’t want to not live by you, baby.”
of course i never believed he ever meant anything by it, but they still made my stomach flutter and my heart skip a beat. the way he said it so casually but yet so lovingly never failed to have me in my head wondering if he really meant what he said.
"what'd you guys get me?" chris asked the second he walked up and saw the bags, no "how are you guys" or "how was the trip".
"nothing. you said you didn't want anything. all four times we asked you." nick said after grabbing one of the drinks we had just bought. i grabbed the pepsi i knew he wanted, along with some of his usual snacks and threw them to him.
"see at least y/n loves me." chris said to nick and then stuck his tongue out at him.
"did you get me anything?" matt asked walking over to me, not stopping til he was right behind me. my breath hitched as he put his hand on my waist.
"yeah, a root beer and the food you texted me about." i replied as calmly as i could, secretly hoping he wouldn't leave his spot to grab them. 
"thank you, baby." he whispered into my ear before he pulled away to go find everything, his hand trailing my lower back as he walked away.
he knew what he was doing. there was no way he didn't. i know he feels the way my body shifts into him, the way my breathing gets heavier, the effect only he seems to have on me.
“what are we watching tonight?” i asked while walking over to put my drink on the coffee table, and then grabbing my blanket from the basket. 
“what about retribution?” matt suggested sitting in his usual spot on the couch next to me.
“you only wanna watch that for liam neeson.” i told him, grabbing the remote to put on something that wasn’t a liam neeson movie.
“yeah, but he’s just so good.” matt emphasized, moving his arms around trying to make a point.
“what about the crow?” i asked everyone, only to be met with groans from everyone.
“yeah for the thousandth time? no thanks.” chris said, rolling his eyes and throwing popcorn at me. 
“yeah and it’s my turn to choose a movie tonight so i don’t see the problem here..” i told him while going to amazon prime and searching up the movie. 
as the movie got to my favorite scene, i moved closer to matt to lay on his shoulder. as i was moving he pulled his arm up for me to be closer. as the movie got more gruesome, i felt him hiding in my hair so he didn’t have to watch.
“something funny?” matt asked once he felt me laughing.
“yeah, you. you do this every time at this exact part too.” i looked up at him still laughing a bit, only to find him already looking at me. i put my head back down onto his chest to hide the blush creeping onto my cheeks, directing my attention back to my favorite movie.
“i don’t know why you like this movie so much, it’s weird.” nick complained, obviously intrigued in the movie though. 
i roll my eyes, “is that why you’re still watching?”
as the movie went on and i got more tired, i moved down into matt’s lap and put my feet up on the couch. once i was comfortable, i felt matt start to shift around underneath me. 
“can you stop moving around, you’re bothering me.” i almost yelled at him, while trying to stay comfortable.
“sorry sweetheart.” he said, moving his hand to my hair, slightly massaging my head. after a couple minutes of that, i was starting to fall asleep. i woke up to him adjusting himself, yet again. this time he got up and started walking towards the bathroom. 
“where are you going?” i whined, missing the comfort of him.
“nowhere, just the bathroom.” he said quietly, before rushing off to the bathroom. i moved into his spot, trying to keep what was left of the warmth before he got up. i squint my eyes in confusion, wondering why he rushed off so quickly. but i decided to ignore it and got up and went to the kitchen to grab something to drink. i heard something behind me when i closed the fridge, i turned and saw a disheveled matt behind me. 
“you okay?” i questioned once i took in the sight in front of me.
“all good, sweetheart.” he answered, with a familiar look in his eye that made my knees weak. 
“you wanna grab me another drink while we’re here?” he asked, still staring at me.“oh yeah, sure,” i turn back to the fridge to grab whatever was in there for him. as i handed it to him i couldn’t help but watch him take the can, the way his fingers wrapped around it had my mind going places it shouldn’t be going.
especially not about my best friend’s brother.
tag list:
@beersangel @whoseyouare @wh0schl0
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eggmeralda · 2 years
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iiiiii aaaaam sooooo booooored
#i'm stuck here for the weekend with nothing to do#then i'm doing a gig on monday and then hopefully go home tuesday but it'll probably end up being thursday#but i cannot live in this house rn i don't wanna come back here after christmas i'm so sick of the people i live with#I've pretty much lived with them for 2 years and they were fine but now things are different and i'm so sick of them oh my god#the only one i'm not sick of yet is in spain so i'm not gonna see her for like a month#but anyway there is nothing to do bc usually i'd talk to my former best friend who has now been demoted to friend status#but he's with his girlfriend all the time and she's annoyed at me bc i asked him can he not have her round every single night#which i can understand why she'd be offended but it doesn't feel that unreasonable?#me and my other housemate both are uncomfortable with her being round like 6 nights a week#it's like she's suddenly living here and we didn't even get a say in it#and we were both friends with her and said multiple times it's nothing against her and we don't mind her being round for a few days#but apparently our other housemate is possibly stirring shit even though he's not involved but apparently he told them that we've been#bitching about them. which we haven't. maybe occasionally venting but that's like private between us two so he's literally not involved#but anyway she probably thinks that we've been bitching about her and is now ignoring us#but she's still staying round all the time like if you suddenly hate us so much wouldn't you wanna stay in your own house?#like idec if she wants to be childish and just straight up ignore me then cool good for her bc at least her bf is still talking to me#and he knows i haven't said anything bad about her but idk he could at least tell her that? but whatever we're both the least#confrontational people in existence and hate drama so neither of us wanna do anything about it#but idek anymore#anyway bc of all this i have no one to talk to and nothing to do for the next few days#so I've literally just been lying in bed watching classic coronation street for the past week#but whatever#someone send absolute help#ramble
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glitterquadricorn · 2 months
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My Tears Ricochet - f1 grid x indycar!reader
+summary: after a devastating end of a six-year relationship, she decided a change was needed. a change that ultimately brings her more opportunities, and she even finds love in an unexpected place. +pairing: f1 grid x indycar!driver +warnings: cheating, curse words, pregnancy, betrayal, mentions sexism, mentions misogyny, etc. If I missed something, let me know. face claim: tony breidinger dedicated to @fangirl-dot-com. They helped me so much whenever I got stuck. I highly recommend them. Their fics are so good. I do not give my permission to have my work reposted. I do not give my permission to have my work translated. If I'm notified that you've stolen my work or claim it as your own, you'll be asked to take it down before I'll report you. End of discussion.
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The way Wyatt became possessive over his phone when before he'd always let her use it was concerning, but she brushed it off thinking maybe it was just a one-time thing. Then she noticed whenever she stepped into the room, and he was on the phone, he'd leave or if they were in the room together and his phone rang, he'd get up and answer it in a different room. The thought of him cheating on her crossed her mind at one point, but he wouldn't do that, right?
Right? Wrong.
Stepping into the house after a long flight, all she wanted to do was take a nice hot shower to scrub off the airport griminess and cuddle with Wyatt on the couch, but walking through the house, she noticed articles of clothing strewn about. 'That's weird' she thought to herself. Her ears picked up moaning sounds coming from their shared bedroom. Hearing lewd sounds like that made her blood run cold. Wyatt was cheating on her, but with whom?
Opening the door to their bedroom, she was met with Wyatt having her barely eighteen-year-old sister, Elizabeth, bent over the side of the bed.
"What the hell is going on?!"
Wyatt pushed Elizabeth forward, letting her hit the mattress. "Y/n, babe, this isn't what it looks like."
"Really? Because to me it looks like you were just balls deep in my sister." her eyes darted to said sister who's twirling her hair in-between her fingers and kicking her feet back and forth all with a smug look on her face. "And you! You're my sister. How could you do this to me?"
"I've loved him for years and it wasn't fair that you had him all to yourself."
"So, you thought it was a good idea for you to sleep with him?! Do you hear yourself?"
Elizabeth got up from the bed and walked over to Wyatt, wrapping her arms around his waist. "It's not the first time we've slept together."
"What does she mean, Wyatt?"
"Go ahead, babe. Tell her, or I will," Wyatt looking down at his feet hesitating to tell her was everything she needed to know that whatever's been going on between the two of them has been going on for a while. "Since he won't say anything, we've been together for eight months."
"Eight months?!?! Un-fucking-believable."
"Is now a bad time to say I'm pregnant- wait, what are you doing?" Elizabeth asked, watching as y/n left the bedroom, muttering under her breath about how her own sister was a backstabbing, home wrecking whore.
"I'm picking yours and his clothes up off the floor and throwing them in the trash where they belong."
"You can't do that!"
"Seeing as this is my house, I can do what I want and I'm just cleaning up the mess you left behind as per usual."
"But-"
Y/n walked over to the front door, opening it and gestured for her to leave. "I don't care where you go, or who you go to, because you are no longer welcomed here."
With no other choice, Elizabeth dug hers and Wyatt's clothes out of the trash and got dressed. Once they were gone, she wasted no time in reaching for her rather expensive tequila and drank it straight from the bottle.
"Who needs boyfriends when you have a sister like Elizabeth."
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liked by josefnewgarden, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, and 1,239,512 others
yourinstagram italy photo dump.
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josefnewgarden where was my invite?
⤷ yourinstagram it got lost in the mail.
user1 I find it a little weird that she's in Maranello 🤔
⤷user2 everyone takes a vacation to Maranello, so it's not that weird.
⤷user1 maybe but wearing a Ferrari jacket and going to the Ferrari Museum and then taking a picture of the prancing horse? its sus to me.
user3 If you go to formula one, I swear to God I'll scream.
*liked by yourinstagram*
⤷user4 Y/N LIKED?!?
⤷user5 this pretty much confirms she's going to f1.
user6 that jacket is sooooo cute!
ScuderiaFerrari red looks good on you.
*liked by yourinstagram*
⤷user7 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
user8 there's a reason why there hasn't been a woman in formula one in thirty-three years.
⤷user9 and its because formula one is for men and not women.
⤷user10 if she does to f1, she'll choke under the pressure and go back to indycar.
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She'd be lying if she said listening to the Ferrari higher ups talk about what was expected of her once she signed the contract wasn't lowkey terrifying. Ferrari was the dream team. A team every driver wanted to be a part of because of its past successes and rich history. And who wouldn't want to join the likes of Fangio, Lauda, Prost and Schumacher in the Ferrari Hall of fame?
"You with us, y/n?" her lawyer set his hand on her shoulder, getting her attention.
"I'm sorry, but can you repeat that?"
"As we were saying, Ferrari goes deeper than just a brand of car. Many individuals have joined over the years, but many have also cracked under the pressure. Are you sure you can handle it?"
"Oh! Definitely."
"If you're so sure, then sign away," Fred slid the contract over the sleek oak table and handed her a pen, hurriedly signing her name on the dotted line. As she set the pen down, it hit her. She was, as of that moment, a formula one driver for Scuderia Ferrari.
She stood up, shaking everyone's hand, stopping at Fred. "Thank you for taking a chance on me. I won't let you down."
"I know you won't." The small French man smiled. "Now, would you like a tour?"
Nodding her head, an older Ferrari employee guided them to the door and started going from room to room, talking intensively about anything and everything Ferrari. It was one thing to see pictures of past drivers and read their achievements, but to lay eyes on the multiple rows of championship winning cars was another. It only made the excitement grow.
That same Ferrari employee saw Charles and immediately waved him over. "Charles! Mate, come meet your new teammate!"
When their eyes met, it was like everything slowed down. It felt as if no one else was in the room but them. Just then, a warm, fuzzy feeling washed over her, and a small flutter of butterflies tickled inside her body. Was this love at first sight? But she just met Charles. There's no way she could possibly fall in love with her new teammate Right?
The corners of the Monegasques' mouth curved into a grin. "I'm Charles."
"I'm Y/n."
His trainer and the Ferrari employee exchanged looks and knew something special had happened between the two drivers. No one looks at someone like that and does not end up together.
"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I got to get going. We should get together sometime and get to know each other since we're going to be teammates."
"I'd love that!"
They swapped phones, putting each other's numbers in. As the tour continued, she looked over her shoulder and watched him walk away, completely ignoring the Ferrari employee. The season couldn't start fast enough.
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liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc, josefnewgarden and 4,325,124 others.
scuderiaferrari pushing past expectations and shattering glass ceilings, y/n y/ln makes history by being the first woman since Giovanna Amati in 1992 to race in formula one. Everyone here at Ferrari can't wait to see what you achieve!
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yourinstagram racing for Ferrari has always been a dream of mine since I was a kid and now that's coming to fruition feels amazing. thank you for this opportunity.
⤷scuderiaferrari 🥰❤️
user1 time to stop watching formula one.
⤷user2 if you're going to stop watching formula one all because a woman joined the grid, then that's says a lot about you as a person.
charles_leclerc the season can't start fast enough!
*liked by yourinstagram*
user3 while I'm sad to see her leave IndyCar, I'm excited to see her race in formula one.
lewishamilton this is not only inspirational to me, but many women who want to get into motorsports, or even formula one, but don't because of the rampant sexism and misogyny. I know your career in formula one is going to bright!
⤷yourinstagram you have no idea how much this means to me!
user4 with charles and y/n Ferrari will be unstoppable.
*liked by scuderiaferrari*
user5 Ferrari dominance will bore people.
user6 Ferrari wdc and wcc confirmed!
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part two will have ALL the drama.
tagging:
@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @patzammit @tinycyberhacker @keenmarvellover @mrspeacem1nusone @lendeluxe @alexxavicry @allenajade-ite @catswag22 @eugene-emt-roe @wcnorris @bibissparkles @cherry-piee @khaylin27 @evie-119
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