#summer was fine except for everything that started breaking in here

[femmeboyhooters]

Why does life ALWAYS have to be shit

[quin-ns]

Let’s Ditch (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Word count: 1.4K

Summary: JJ convinces you to ditch school with him and go out on the boat, only for the two of you to get stranded

Tags: fluff, friends to lovers, love confessions, kissing, just some overall sweetness

A/N: first fic of the year 🫶 wanted to start off on a nice note with some simple fluff

obx masterlist

“Please, please, please—”

“Oh my god, JJ, fine!” you agreed, finally breaking.

He’d spent the last few minutes doing everything in his power to persuade you to ditch the rest of school and go out on the HMS Pogue with him.

After nothing else worked (asking nicely, bargaining, bribing), he resorted to begging. Relentlessly.

And, just as JJ had hoped, he wore you down before you could go to your next class.

“You’re the best!” He smiled, beaming with victory.

Sneaking out of the school was easier than it should’ve been. The two of you simply walked off campus and found where JJ parked his bike.

He put on his sunglasses and grinned at you. You rolled your eyes and bit back a smile. You were already having fun, you always did with JJ.

You climbed on, sitting behind JJ. You locked your arms around his waist when he told you to hold on tight. He revved the engine then took off well over the speed limit, leaving the school behind. He was going so fast he had to hold onto his hat with each turn, and the wind drowned out your laughter.

It was a short ride to the Chateau, and soon enough the two of you were hopping off. JJ left his bike in the yard and jogged to catch up to you, swinging an arm over your shoulders. Your face heated up as he hurried you both down the dock.

You lifted your hand to shield the sun from your eyes, watching JJ get the boat in the water.

“Does John B know we’re here?” you wondered, other hand falling to your hip.

“C’mon, you know he doesn’t mind!” JJ called back, hopping on to the boat. “Let’s go!”

That wasn’t exactly a “yes”, but you still stepped on, taking JJ’s hand to do so.

“Such a gentleman,” you commented lightly.

He responded, “Only for you.”

JJ went to the wheel, driving the two of you away from the dock and out into the marshes.

The further you got, the more relieved you grew that you were out of that boring school. You did your best to take it seriously because it was supposed to be important, but you missed summer break already.

“Can I drive?” you asked after a while, forgetting the story you’d been in the middle of telling JJ.

“Of course,” JJ said dramatically. He stepped back from the wheel, making way for you. He took off his sunglasses and shoved them onto your face. “You might want these.”

You laughed, adjusting them.

“Thank you very much.”

JJ grinned. “No problem, Captain.”

“Captain?” You hummed. “I like the sound of that.”

That was your last comment before you went full throttle. JJ held on tight, turning his red cap backwards to keep it from flying off his head. You had to grip the wheel tight to stay standing, both of you whooping and hollering at the speed.

Except, you didn’t get far. In a matter of minutes the boat was sputtering to a stop. That quickly killed the yells and grins of adrenaline.

“So, um, we’re out of gas,” the blonde declared when he returned from checking the tank.

You crossed your arms and leaned back against the wheel, knowing you weren’t going anywhere.

“Well, how much was in it when you first checked?”

JJ looked guilty. The fuel gauge was busted and John B had to get it fixed, so recently you’ve been having to check manually.

“Um, about that… I might have not checked.”

“You didn’t check?”

“Did you see me check?”

“So, let’s recap,” you started, holding your hands out. “You convince me to go on the boat and then you forget to check if it had any gas in it?”

“That pretty much covers it, yeah,” JJ replied to your sass with an equal amount.

“A+ planning,” you quipped.

“Wow, my first A+,” he joked, and you couldn’t smother the grin that started to form. “I’m sorry about the gas—we can call Pope, see if he can come bring us some.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him. “Although there’s no way Pope is leaving class early to rescue us.”

As it would turn out, you were right. You got lucky when you called him because he was between classes, so he actually answered. However, he said he could come get you but he wasn’t going to leave school early. That was after he called JJ a bad influence on you.

JJ couldn’t argue with that.

It was close to the end of the school day, so you wouldn’t have to wait too long for him, but it would still be over an hour.

You ended up sitting on the deck facing one another, trying to keep low to avoid the sun. You went back and forth talking about anything and everything and you had to admit, it was better than being in class. Then again, being with JJ was one of your favorite things, so it wasn’t a fair competition.

“No way you think C.H.U.D. is the best horror movie,” you argued when he brought it up.

“I’m pretending I didn’t hear you say that,” JJ shot back. “Why do you think I bring it up all the time?”

“Okay but that doesn’t make it a masterpiece just ‘cause you talk about it. That’s like saying being a mortician is the best job ever just because Pope always talks about it.”

JJ’s smile grew and you gave him a look.

“What?” you wondered, noticing the expression.

“This is nice,” JJ said, causing you to laugh.

“Arguing about movies is nice?”

“Well, yeah. It’s been so long since we’ve hung out,” JJ said with a shrug. Clearly it had been on his mind. You opened your mouth to counter, but he continued. “I mean, I see you everyday because of school and stuff, but I feel we haven’t really hung out just us in a while.”

You frowned a little. “It’s not like I don’t want to, it’s just been a busy month…”

“I know, I don’t blame you,” JJ assured. “I just miss you.” He hesitated before continuing. “A lot. And I was gonna tell you all that today, but I didn’t imagine it being because we were stuck out here getting sunburned.”

You gave him a curious look. “You didn’t have to bring me out here just to tell me you wanted to hang out more.”

JJ snorted. “It wasn’t just that,” he revealed. “I wanted it to be just us and not have an excuse to back out…”

“Back out? You’re not gonna push me overboard, are you?” you teased, and you and JJ both laughed. “Because I can swim, y’know.”

“Not my plan at all, but nice to know that’s where your mind goes.”

You relaxed with the taunting as you asked, “So what is it, then?”

JJ fiddled with his hands, eyes flicking away from yours for a minute. You watched him carefully, wondering where he was going with this.

Before he could continue, you heard a boat approaching. You got to your feet and so did JJ. The two of you spotted Heyward’s boat with Pope on board heading towards you.

“Hey there!” you called, waving to Pope. He waved back. You looked at JJ and saw his expression shift. “Wait, what were you gonna tell me?” He bit his lip. “Come on, don’t back out. You said you weren’t going to, so what is it?”

“Right, okay,” he said, getting a bit antsy. “What I was gonna ask is… will you go out with me?”

Your brows shot up.

“Like a date?”

JJ smiled sheepishly. “Exactly like a date.”

“Okay,” you answered, a smile overtaking your features. You didn’t even hesitate.

“Okay…” he repeated, like he couldn’t quite believe it. “Okay—yeah. Awesome!”

The two of you chuckled at his excitement, and you stepped closer to him.

A silence fell over the two of you and you knew you were thinking the same thing.

JJ leaned in to kiss you, and you met him halfway. Your lips fit together perfectly, but it didn’t last long.

“Hey guys!” Pope called, pulling the boat up next to the HMS Pogue. You and JJ turned to look up at him, seeing the amused face of your friend and a gas can in his hand. “Am I interrupting something or do you still need rescuing?”

You and JJ exchanged a look before JJ replied.

“Both.”

[norrisleclercf1]

Okay i just love nando + age gap + engineer!reader so here we are 😂 they’ve been together for 2 years and the team knows but everyone else doesn’t and nando really wants to start a family so he asks Lawrence if the reader could walk in the paddock with him on media day at the Dutch gp and have a day off (and basically she just shows up in the most beautiful and wag worthy outfit ever) and that’s when everyone catches on and the grid start teasing Fernando for having a much younger gf that is smart and beautiful 🫠 ps maybe they went to Spain during summer break and got engaged but no one knows except George cuz reader is besties with carmen cuz they’re the same age 😊 (I’m really going for the sunshine gf and grumpy bf trope)

A/N: Fed, I'm being fed so damn good today oh my god

"Can't I just show you off?" Fernando grumbles, tracing patterns on your stomach. His chin was resting on your bare hip the two of you exhausted after some, fun. "Nando, you know Lawerence said to wait." You sigh, pushing your boyfriend's hair back his face dropping.

He's always so grumpy, only smiling when you were in his presence or mentioned. "It's fucking stupid, I love you and want you next to me. Is that so fucking bad?" He sits up, the sheet falling off his shoulders. "Fernando, the team knows. That's better than nothing." Sitting up you press your chest against him. "Come on, don't get grumpy on me." You whisper, laying kisses on his jaw.

"We are in Spain." He mummers smiling, as he kisses you hand that now wears his ring. "It's the Dutch GP soon okay, just be patient." Fernando grumbles, just wanting to show you off. "Fine, fine. Carmen knows." You blush unable to help yourself when you sent a text to your bestfriend.

"I was excited, sue me." Fernando laughs, kissing you as he pulls the cover back over you.

----------------------

"You want to what?" Lawerence looks up, Fernando staring into Lawerence. "I want to make my relationship with Y/n, public. This weekend. I love her and I want everyone else to know it as well. I'm not asking for permission, it's me telling you." Fernando smiles walking out as he sighs, he can't wait for Friday.

"God you look gorgeous." Fernando groans, watching you button your white button up and tucking some of it into the waist of your pants. Cute black flats, with high waisted jeans to match. "I'm wearing a normal outfit." Sliding on your ring as Fernando stares at you, really tempted to take it off you.

"We'll be late, and stop giving me that look." Fernando smirks, pulling you in as he kisses you. "I can't wait to show you off." He whispers. "Well, let's go." You smile.

---------------------------------

"Heheheh robbing the cradle are you?" Lewis teases, as Fernando watches you show off the ring to Carmen. "Jealous?" "Of what?" Fernando just smirks as everyone has been giving him a hard time about you.

George has been the one laying it on thick. Saying if he was a girl would Fernando date him too. Carmen got him straight with one look and hadn't bothered. "I love her, she's gorgeous. Brillant and soon to be my wife and mother of my children Lewis. Joke about her age all you want, but she's everything to me." Fernando smiles watching as you smile brightly everyone joining you.

[venusacrossthestars]

right person wrong time? wrong person, a fine time.

Pairing- Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

WC- 2.2k

warnings- angst, Charles is an ass, swearing(?) italics represent flashbacks

f1 masterlist

Its been a year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days since Charles broke your heart. Its been a year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days since you last saw him. Its been a year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days since he said, ‘its not you, its me.’ Its been a year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days and yet you can’t fall asleep without thinking what could have been. 

All the traveling and distance was considered to be a curse during your relationship, now you were considering it a blessing. Monaco wasn’t a large country by any means, its own popularity along with its neighboring countries came from  tourist, travelers, and summer home owners. Meaning it was the perfect place to blend in with the hundreds of passing faces. Here you were hoping to go unrecognized. 

The first two weeks of your five week vacation were going swimmingly. You and a couple friends rented out a villa. You all swam, ate good food, shopped, sun tanned, everything you could imagine of a great vacation. 

It was a Tuesday morning and you and your friends were sitting out on the patio at some brunch cafe that was quickly becoming your favorite spot in Monaco when your luck of being incognito had run out. 

“Y/N?” you hear a familiar voice call out, and judging by the reactions of your friends you know exactly who it is.

Turning around in your seat to look up at the caller, you are greeted with the unfortunate sight of your ex-boyfriend. 

“Charles?” 

“Wow, its really you,” he seems surprised. 

“Yup, in the flesh,” you chuckle out uncomfortably. You shoot a look ‘help what do I do’ at your friends. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“On vacation, trying to enjoy the slow season before the fall.” 

“Oh that’s nice.” 

“Yeah.” Neither of you say a word after that. Your friends attention split between you and your ex.

After a moment of silence it seems that Charles finally gets the memo that you would like to get back to brunch, “I’ll leave you be, hopefully I’ll see you around.” 

You don’t reply, why would you lie and say you hoped to see him too? After the way things ended you were seriously hoping to never see Charles Leclerc ever again. 

The past few weeks had been rocky, you knew that. Charles had been having a few couple of weeks. A DNF at his home race, a poor performing car, pressure from the fans. You understood it all to be frustrating. Your work hadn’t been easy either. Someone had split their coffee on your silk piece for your show, you had to spend a full 36 hours having to re-sew the entire thing by hand in order to make the deadline. 

All you wanted right now was to curl up in your boyfriends arms, watch crappy tv and eat even crappier food. But it didn’t seem like any of that was going to be happening with the ominous ‘we need to talk’ text you got from Charles around lunch time.

When you entered the apartment it felt cold, empty, and overall unwelcoming. All the lights were off expect for the ones in the kitchen and sitting at the island was Charles with his head in his hands.

“Babe,” you began as you walked closer, “is everything ok? Your text gave me a bit of a start.” 

Charles doesn't respond and you move to rest your hand on his shoulder, he flinches at the contact as if he is repulsed by your touch. 

“I want to break-up,” Charles states out of the blue. 

Time stops, you swear it. The clock that hangs on the wall doesn’t move nor make a sound, the dripping faucet doesn’t let a drop of water fall, the quiet humming of the air conditioner is absent. All is still, except your rapidly beating heart. 

“What?” you croak out. 

“Its not you, its me.” Charles simply states, back still turned to you. 

“I find that hard to believe when you won’t even look me in the eyes.” You scoff, you can’t believe what you’re hearing. 

Charles shoots out of his chair and faces you. His hands flying up in the air. “I want to break up!” 

A “why?” escapes you  pathetically.  

“Its not you, its me.” he repeats. “The distance, me traveling for my job, you traveling for yours. It’s all too much. I’m not, I can’t do a relationship right now. It’s all too much.” 

“Charles,we talked about this just say the words and I’ll drop it all for you. You know this.” You tell him, referring to your conversation from a few weeks back that how you would take less responsibilities at your job if he wanted you too. 

“I can’t- I can’t do that to you.” 

“Oh but you’ll throw a two year relationship away,” now your angry. He throws this at you out of the blue. No hints, no major changes in his behaviors, nothing. 

“Y/N-” he beings but you are quick to cut him off.

“No, I deserve an explanation as to why this all of the sudden ‘this’ isn’t working.” 

“Y/N” he tries again. 

“It was all fine, yeah we had a few bad weeks but we have a gap week coming and maybe if we just try and relax we can-” 

“Maybe its because I don’t love you!” Charles now interrupts you. “Maybe its because I never loved you.” 

“Well now you are just being mean,” you weren’t going to cry. Why would you? It wasn’t like the man you have given your all too for the past two year was breaking your heart or anything? If you weren’t going to cry then what was running down your cheeks. 

“It’s the truth.” 

“You’re an ass. Typically Charles behavior. Run when things go though or don’t go your way. Too high and mighty.” 

“You don’t know what its like to be me, you wouldn’t understand.” 

“Then explain it to me! I have begged and begged you to let me in and all you do is push me away.” 

“It’s not that simple.” 

“Then you’re right. Its not me, its you. Its always you.” 

“Get out.” 

“What so now your mad that I agree with you?” 

“Get out,” Charles says again. 

“Gladly.” 

Two days have passed since you saw Charles at brunch and as much as you wanted to say it was nothing, you couldn’t. Seeing Charles brought up memories that you didn’t necessarily want to think about while on vacation. 

Today everyone was off doing their own thing, so you had the great idea to wander along the beach. Well it was a great idea until you heard your name being called, once again by no one other than Charles. 

Stopping in your tracks you turn to face the man who claimed he never loved you. 

“Are you following me?” 

Charles looks take aback by the question, “no?” 

You hum and continue walking, Charles follows. 

“I wasn’t kidding when I say it was nice to see you the other day. Its been a while, hasn’t it.” 

“Yup.” Exactly-1 year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and now 6 days,  you think to yourself. 

“So how have you been, anything new?”

“Been good, headlining my own show. Collaborations, sketching up new designs, same old same old.” 

“I saw. Congrats.” 

“Thanks,” you curtly reply. “Anything new with you?” Ever since the break-up you avoided looking at anything Formula 1 related. You can tell by his reaction that he didn’t know that. 

“Well, car is good this year. Still a little early to tell but I’ve got a good feeling about this year.” 

“That’s nice.” 

“Can we talk?” 

“Is that not what we’re doing?” 

“Well, I guess. I mean I want to apologize.” 

This stops you, you really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. You really never wanted to have this conversation ever. You turn now fully facing Charles, squinting at him. 

“I’m sorry for that night. I didn’t mean what I told you. You didn’t deserve any of what I said.” 

“I didn’t.” 

“That’s all you have to say?” 

“And that’s all you have to offer as an apology, after all this time?” 

“Well I’m not perfect.” 

You scoff, “see that, that right there is how I know you aren’t sorry.” 

“I am. I still love you. I was an ass. I was stressed. It was all too much. I truly wasn’t in the mindset to be in a relationship. I wanted to be a good boyfriend.” 

“You wanted to be a good boyfriend?” You chuckle, “if you wanted to be a good boyfriend you would’ve told me what was going on.” 

“You could’ve been a better girlfriend.” 

Typical Charles, is all you can think to yourself. You are now seething, emotions that have been pushed down and down, now surfacing. 

“I was willing to work it out,” you point at your chest, “all of the problems I was willing to work through for you.  I was willing to ignore the hurtful words because I loved you. I would’ve left everything behind. All of it. If it meant being with you. So don’t tell me I could have been a ‘better girlfriend’, unbelievable.” 

“Right person, wrong time.” Charles said quietly. 

You actually laugh at his statement. Was he high? At the beginning you might’ve thought that too. You loved him so deeply that you were willing to over look his flaws. But that night, that faithful night when he ripped your heart out and ran it over with his Ferrari you realized that someone who loved you would never do what he did to you. 

“No Charles, you were the wrong person at a fine time. The right person would try to work out their problems. The right person would listen to their girlfriends concerns. The right person wouldn’t tell the person they love, that they simply never loved them. The right person wouldn’t ask another woman to marry him not even a year later. And yet you stand here claiming to still love me. You wanted to be a good boyfriend, how about you focus on being a good fiance.” 

A look of hurt flashed over Charles face and for a moment you almost felt bad for him. But he hadn’t felt bad when he broke your heart. He hadn’t felt bad when he said that he couldn’t do a relationship and travel. He held no remorse for you when not even a month later he was seen with another woman hanging off his arms. And you know for a fact that he held no remorse when 7 months later he was asking her to be his wife. 

Yes, Charles the same man who told you that he wasn’t ready for a relationship was engaged to another woman. The same woman he was seen with not even a full month after he broke your heart. At first you thought he was cheating on you, who wouldn’t jump to that conclusion. But as much as you hated Charles he did surprisingly had morals. He might’ve met her when with you but you knew, mostly due to his hectic schedule, that he wasn’t cheating on you. 

“Speaking of which, how is the wedding planning going. Its been how long since the two of you got engaged?” You ask. You know how long its been. You know you’re being petty. You know asking about the engagement is a low blow. You should be the bigger person but there is something about the way he is looking at you that fills you with rage and sadness. 

“That’s none of your business.” Charles crosses his arms over his chest defensively. 

“Well I would say this has been nice but lets not kid each other. Charles I do wish you the best with everything, but please, don’t ever talk to me again.” 

You are quick to turn away, you don’t want to hear another word from him. This vacation was meant to be peaceful. You were meant to blend in and have fun. The last thing in the world you were expecting was to run into your ex. 

The once beautiful country of Monaco had now been tainted by the unpleasant memories of a time past. And you knew that no matter how much you loved the atmosphere, the people, the culture that you would never be able to wash the memory of Charles away. Charles Leclerc has officially ruined Monaco for you. 

That night after you recounted the story to your friends over a crappy bottle of tequila, you went to bed and did something you haven’t done for a year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days, you googled ‘Charles Leclerc’ and the first thing that that popped up might’ve been a surprise to everyone, but not you. “Charles Leclerc and long-time fiancée mutually call off engagement”. 

And for the first time in a year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days you fell asleep not thinking of Charles Leclerc and what might’ve been.

taglist- crossed out names mean I could not tag you

@arieslost @astrostar24 @aneverythingwriter @maryseesthings @boiohboii @lexiestarkey @scaramou @anedpev @simplyscorpio @the-untamed-soul @stupendousrebeldreamer @lyana344 @moonlightem @itsbwokenln4 @a-daydreamers-day @barcelono @naturallyspontaneous @bunbun9396 @meredithmeiz @clowngirlsstuff @jordy-jor5 @charlesleclerx @loveyatopluto @lewisroscoelove @graciearnold1 @saiteliites @oliveswiftly @lover122 @dear-fifi @onecojg @martaaairwin1994-blog @bigchrisevansmarvelsoul @sittingalonereads @fuckmylifedudee @hanniesdawn @leonie-swift @havaneselover08 @homosexualjohnwayne @bjralph @naaanasworld @dannyramirezwife @mileeen-aa @futuristicherobailifflamp @boherahpsody

[bvidzsoo]

Drive to Survive

⫻Formula One Racer!Hongjoong⫻

TW: nothing, except similarities to the 2021 season lol

Word count: 3,2k

A/N: So, I did something, again...*sigh*. This is for you Orsi bestie, I hope it reaches your expectations lol. This is like the 2021 F1 season without the injustice---anyways, I'm not here to get murdered by the F1 fandom, love y'all. Can't believe I wrote a Red Bull driver story, ew lol. Hope you all enjoy, and feedback is appreciated!!

            It had been a gut-wrenching and nerve wrecking season this year’s fight for the championship. At times, I couldn’t help but wonder how Hongjoong was doing it all—keeping his mental health in check and letting loose at times while completely focusing on winning first place as many times as he could, securing himself in the Driver’s Championship. It was truly difficult. The car was very good, everything having ran smoothly after the summer break when a few final adjustments and changes had been done to the automobile, making the Red Bulls the quickest on the grid. However, Kang Yeosang, his biggest rival at the moment sat in an equal machinery, closely following Hongjoong on his tail. Each Grand Prix resulted with the two battling for first position in the driver’s standings, sometimes resulting in disqualifying the other by an incident—or in worst case scenario, by crashing into each other. Watching Hongjoong’s car get almost flipped as it went over Yeosang’s car had been one of the most horrific moments of my life, heart clenching and heartbeat halting as my breath caught in my throat, eyes wide in terror as all I could do was watch my fiancé through the screen of the TV, unable to do anything as I was seated between the mechanics in the Red Bull garage. It was an involuntary action as I jumped up to my feet with a loud gasp, everyone tense around me as we watched Hongjoong’s car glide over Yeosang’s, getting halfway suspended over it. Nobody moved nor breathed. I could see Yeosang moving as the camera zoomed in on them, thankfully he seemed to be fine, the halo around the car having protected his head from anything severe, but Hongjoong still gave no signs of life. I could feel my hands tremble as I looked at the mechanic next to me helplessly, who’s face looked just as worried as mine. And then, there came the shout from someone who stood next to Hongjoong’s engineer, letting us know that Hongjoong spoke on the radio and said that he was fine, slightly sore. Everything that happened afterwards was a blur, my head felt in a haze as Hongjoong was taken to the local hospital for a regular check-up to make sure he suffered no serious injuries. I was rushed to the hospital with him and after he was taken to a private room to rest for a bit, I was finally allowed to see him. I couldn’t help but let out a long sigh and pause in the doorway as Hongjoong was lazily flicking through the TV channels, probably searching for the one broadcasting the Formula One race still on-going. Upon hearing the door open, he turned his head and looked at me, features instantly softening when he saw my face. I couldn’t help but rush up to him and almost fall into his arms as he had opened them, waiting for me to reach him. The tears escaped my eyes involuntarily as I buried my head in Hongjoong’s neck, inhaling his familiar scent mixed with sweat. Hongjoong’s arms wrapped around me tightly and he started rubbing up and down my back, resting his chin on the top of my head.

“I’m alright, don’t cry.” He whispered, voice soft and I sniffed, my body finally relaxing. He was fine, he was holding me in his arms. He was breathing, talking, and hugging me. He was alive, and that’s what mattered, “I’m sorry for scaring you this much. The crash wasn’t as harsh as it seemed on TV, I’ve seen the replays.”

I shook my head and allowed my hand to raise to the back of his head, fingers tangling in his smooth hair, “Hongjoong, it looked horrible. I—I was so scared. I don’t ever again want to see you get into a crash. You have to be more careful, let Yeosang pass if you see he’s being aggressive—”

“That won’t happen, darling, you know I can’t let him pass.” Hongjoong’s voice hardened slightly at the mention of his rival, “If he wants to race hard, then we will race hard, I’m not the one to back down.”

“Look where it got you!” I pulled my head back, eyebrows furrowed as I stared into Hongjoong’s cat-like eyes. His own eyebrows were furrowed but he just sighed, averting his gaze.

“I’m alive, Y/N, it’s all that matters.” I couldn’t help but shudder at his words and Hongjoong noticed, face instantly morphing into regret. I couldn’t even fathom the thought of losing him to a fatal crash. He wouldn’t be the first, nor the last. Formula One was a dangerous sport, and your life was the only one at stake, “Sorry.”

Hongjoong muttered and I just shook my head, letting out a long sigh. He offered me a warm smile as he cupped my cheek and leaned down, pulling my head closer to his. My eyes fluttered close as Hongjoong’s warm lips pressed against mine and he kissed me tenderly, pouring an apology and a promise into the kiss. He was sorry, and he’d be more careful. I could live with that, even if I knew Hongjoong was a ruthless racer, fearless. His driving style set him apart from everyone, sharp in the corners and quick on the straights, not many could catch up to him. His defense was crazy and he always found the impossible spots for overtakes, making them possible, halting everyone’s heartbeats who were cheering for him. He was exceptional, legendary. People knew his name. People loved him and rooted for him. Some people even wanted to be him…or to be with him. But Hongjoong is a humble man, proud of what he has achieved so far and even more hard working and determined to earn more and more. And he is loyal, loving, and caring. Always by my side and on my side, shielding me from blind hatred and senseless drama. He had everything he wanted and needed, many envied him for that. Yet, Hongjoong only had one goal in his mind: win his first Championship. Become the Captain everyone seemed to be calling him, leader of his generation, an icon in motor racing. And all I could do was stand by his side and encourage him, bring him up when he felt like he couldn’t go anymore, comfort him when things went south and most importantly…love him for who he was. I smiled into the kiss as Hongjoong started rubbing my cheek lovingly, reassuring me that he was here and that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

            But the game never stops nor does the race, not until the season ends. And today was the final Grand Prix, in Abu Dhabi, the last race which would go down in the history books, often talked about, always remembered. Yeosang and Hongjoong had equal points. However wins tonight, becomes the World Champion. It would be Yeosang’s second, and Hongjoong’s first title. The tension was palpable in the air and everyone in the garage was tense as everything was set up for the race. Hongjoong was placing his weight from one leg to another, jaw clenching and unclenching often. He looked mad, but he was only nervous. I knew him well, I could read him like the back of my hand. He was wearing his dark blue undies, the color specific to the Red Bull Racing team, with his overalls hanging low on his hips, the sleeves tied around it to keep it more in place. His costume was tight fitting, accentuating each muscle and curve of his body, his abs slightly defined by the shirt he was wearing. He had recently dyed his hair a darker purple, but it has faded out and now looked closer to the color of a grape. I watched from distance as he spoke to one of his mechanic’s, eyebrows furrowed and pointing at something on the car. He was frustrated, grip tightening around the Red Bull can he had to drink water from in order to show off the sponsor. The mechanic seemed to be a bit lost and I could see Hongjoong’s frustration morph slowly into irritation and anger, so I decided to step in quickly as I walked up to them. I allowed my hand to sneak up on his shoulder and squeeze lightly in order to get his attention. Hongjoong looked at me from the corner of his eyes before sighing and looking at the mechanic defeated.

“Fine, do as you think is best, but if I lose tonight—know it’s on you.” And then Hongjoong walked off to his PR manager, who was calling for him as he had to do one last interview before the race would start. The mechanic looked rather pale as I looked at him and offered him a small smile.

“He’s just very stressed, he didn’t mean that.” I reassured the mechanic, but it didn’t seem to work so I tried again, “Hongjoong will win tonight.”

“Yeah, he better.” The mechanic muttered before walking off and I went back to my seat, watching Hongjoong again as he spoke to the reporter, still looking irritated but hiding it well with a few charming smiles and light chuckles. I tried to keep it together for him, but I was a nervous wreck. The last three nights have been almost sleepless for the both of us, Hongjoong tossing and turning every few minutes as sleep never caught up with him. I would’ve been able to sleep, but I quickly absorbed his mood and it turned me restless too, leading to a few really bad nights as Hongjoong and I had to sleep in separate rooms, too on edge around each other. There was nothing wrong, it’s just that we were too in tune with each other’s feelings, and if I was feeling anxious it could throw him off his concentration and turn him into a nervous wreck as well, in such dire situation, such thing like that wasn’t allowed. Hongjoong had to fully commit and focus, his eyes set on the prize already. As he finished the interview he quickly pulled on his dark blue overall and zipped it up, headed my way. I smiled at him warmly and he stopped across from me, the high table between our bodies putting a distance between us. He fumbled with his fingers and I knew he didn’t know what to say, he was just in need of a little comfort. So, I reached across the table and held his hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. No words needed to be exchanged as Hongjoong sighed loudly, Yeosang’s laughter echoing around the garage as he had passed by the Red Bull garage with his engineer and two mechanics. Yeosang seemed to be dealing a lot better with tonight’s stressful Grand Prix, but we paid him no mind as Hongjoong rounded the high table and came closer to me, fingers intertwining with mine. The cold Ruby of my engagement ring pressed into my flesh and I felt Hongjoong play with it, a habit which always seemed to calm him down a bit. I beamed up at him and it made Hongjoong smile as he leaned down, pressing a kiss against my forehead. I sighed in contentment as he pulled back, determination glossing over his eyes. There he was, my little racer.

“I love you.” I whispered to him as Hongjoong smirked, pulling his shoulders back and letting go of my hand. He shook his arms out and cracked his neck, going to the side to stretch as he sent me a flying kiss, making me giggle.

            The loud roaring of men around me deafened me for a few seconds, mouth hung open and eyes wide like two saucers as I stared at the TV screen, my heartbeat probably non-existent at this point. My hands were shaking, my body was shivering, my eyes were filling with tears. My stomach was twisting and despite standing up, my right leg wouldn’t stop bouncing. My arms were thrown behind my head as I gripped onto my nape, biting my lower lip as anxiety coursed through my veins, adrenaline flowing in my bloodstream. All throughout the race it has been a cat and mouse game between Yeosang and Hongjoong. One time one was ahead, then the other, constantly battling for that first place. I couldn’t imagine what Hongjoong was currently feeling, but I knew I was on the brink of passing out. The cheers of the men around me were due to Hongjoong overtaking Yeosang in the second to last corner, having braked later. It was the last lap of the Grand Prix, everything mattered right now. Every little twitch of the wheel, a little slip of the car or of your attention. I couldn’t help but yelp as Yeosang gained advantage on Hongjoong again, the front wing of his car almost bumping into the back of Hongjoong’s as Yeosang drove aggressively, but Hongjoong defended just as fiercely. Hongjoong’s brother was a mess next to me as he kept cursing, their parents clutching each other’s hands as Hongjoong’s mother kept closing her eyes, muttering a prayer every once in a while. His father despite looking composed was shaking worse than me, eyes constantly wide as he gazed up at the big screen of the TV. My breath caught in my throat as Yeosang and Hongjoong took the last turn, Yeosang’s car slightly more ahead in the corner as he Hongjoong miscalculated the turn for some reason, and a collective gasp broke through the garage as Yeosang was now more ahead with his front wing. Nobody moved, nobody said anything as the cars sped towards the finish line, checkered flag waved crazily in the air, everyone excited for the outcome. And then, Yeosang’s car slightly lost its back, but it wasn’t anything vital as he quickly regained control and continued on pushing as if nothing happened. However, this allowed Hongjoong to slightly pass him, his front wing passing Yeosang’s, cars dangerously close side by side as they raced towards the finish line. And there it was, the victory right in front of their hands as they both crossed the finish line, seemingly in the same position, neither more forward nor backward than the other. I felt my body go limp as everyone went quiet, even the commentators, awaiting for the result. The picture came only seconds later, sent in by the race juries, broadcasted upon everyone’s screens as I could hear Hongjoong’s engineer scream into their radio from his place from the pit wall.

“Hongjoong!  You’re World Champion! Kim Hongjoong, you have won!”

And then, everyone screamed and jumped up, female and male voices mixing together as the grandstands broke into a roar of Hongjoong’s name, the fireworks going off and putting an end to this exhausting season. I barely realized, mind in shock and body frozen mid-yelp, as my body was lifted off the ground and I was whirled around as Hongjoong’s brother clutched me, cheering loudly as both of their parents cried. I couldn’t help but follow them, bawling my eyes out as I started laughing, Hongjoong’s brother carefully placing me down as the mechanics and the Red Bull team gathered in a circle and started shouting, hyping themselves up even more. My ears were ringing but I couldn’t really care about that as the TV showed Hongjoong’s car stopping at the finish line, Hongjoong hauling himself out of the car. My feet were moving before my mind could process what was happening, the mechanics ran through the pit and jumped over the fence as they ambushed Hongjoong, cheering and gripping onto him as he struggled to take off his helmet. I stood by the fence, wiping my tears away as Hongjoong’s brother jumped over and offered to help me over as well, his own hands shaking as he took my shaky ones in his. As my feet landed on the ground again, my eyes went to Hongjoong as he was down on his knees, forehead touching his car, body shaking. He was crying, I knew he was crying and it made me cry again as I consciously now walked towards him, his mechanics and team making space for me as I called out his name, my own raspy voice foreign to myself. I haven’t even realized I have screamed so much tonight until now.

“Hongjoong!” I called out again and he was suddenly up on his feet, sobs erupting from his mouth as his body collided against mine harshly as we ran up to each other, his arms caging me against himself in a bear hug, swaying us side to side as he continued sobbing into my neck, my own tears flowing heavier than they have been. All tension lifted from my body as I clutched onto my boyfriend with desperation, finally feeling the well deserved happiness and contentment wash over myself as I squealed, starting to jump up and down, making Hongjoong mirror me. He was laughing as he let out a loud shout of satisfaction, grabbing my thighs and bringing them around his middle as I yelped and held onto him tightly, getting whirled around as Hongjoong shouted loudly. I couldn’t help but laugh and press a messy kiss against his lips, our mouths unable to stop smiling as I felt love, adrenaline, happiness mix together and create an euphoric feeling in my brain and body.

“You’re a fucking World Champion, Kim Hongjoong!” I screamed and he threw his head back and laughed, mouth pulled into a wide smirk as his hands tightened around my thighs, “You are the World Champion!”

Hongjoong let out another deep shout as he swiftly placed me down on the ground and was instantly tackled into a tight hug by his brother then followed by their parents, the four of them huddled together as they celebrated briefly the victory of their beloved Hongjoong. And I couldn’t help but look around and take in the crowd, everyone ecstatic as they watched Hongjoong and the Red Bull team, jumping up and down and chanting his name. Proudness swelled in my chest and I pressed a hand against my heart, taking in a deep breath as I made eye contact with Yeosang, who had the tiniest smile on his lips as he stood to the side, leaning against the fence. His eyes glinted with proudness and he nodded at me with a grin as we made eye contact, making me break out into a huge smile. He knew the feeling, he was in Hongjoong’s shoes last year. It warmed my heart that despite their rivalry, Yeosang could still show some silent support towards Hongjoong. They’ve been racing together since a fragile age, deep down, both of them cared about each other, but in a sport like Formula One, such as friendship on the grid didn’t exist.

“Kim Hongjoong!” I heard the voice of the reporter boom through the speakers loudly, “First time World Champion! Takes the crown and bears its victory!”

And then I found Hongjoong’s eyes again and we grinned at each other as his trophy was carefully passed to him, Hongjoong’s hands clutching it tightly and carefully as if he was afraid anyone would try and take it away from him. But nobody could, because he was Kim Hongjoong, Red Bull Racing driver, first time World Champion. The first obstacle in his long journey had been just conquered, making way for many more to come. For many more victories to commence, happy and painful memories to follow. Kim Hongjoong, the Captain.

Masterlist

[tmntxthings]

一∑ Not Enough・゜・。

author’s note: i feel pretty meh about this but we posting anywayssss c: thank joji for this ! here’s to heartbreak and betrayal~~~

warnings: cursing, hurt + no comfort, angst to the max, unedited

word association: first love, relationships, broken trust, loneliness, betrayal, self-deprecation, doubt, emotional breakdowns

song inspired: “ Ew by Joji ”

—————————————————————————

First love.

Not a crush. Not a like. Those don’t come close. Those can’t compare. To the all-encompassing feeling that is love. Especially the first.

If Donatello had been aware of what would happen. Of the impact that it would leave. In this moment, he would say it is not worth it.

You…

His teeth bared at just the thought. He couldn’t think of you for one moment without a searing pain lancing through his entire being. Making his teeth ache and he found he was curling into himself. He straightened once he realized what he was doing.

Sitting wasn’t helping. He stood. Maybe going back to pacing would help. Help him to finally think. His eyes were to the floor. Watching his feet march a couple of paces here. Only to stop when he saw debris on the floor and to turn back the way he came.

Pacing.

He tried once more.

You… you’re.. his everything. His first real crush. His first kiss. His first love.

Of course the beginning with you had been a cliche, he had saved you. But that was one of the only ways he came into contact with humans. Maybe that’s what you had fallen in love with, a ‘hero.’ He was anything but that. He hardly felt up to par with his brothers. They were naturals. Wielding their mystic powers with ease while it was still a struggle for Donnie. But maybe that one heroic moment with him had been the reason why you fell so hard and so fast for him.

You had taught him a lot. He was never a vocal person. Not when it came to his emotions. You taught him to communicate better, better than Mikey had been able to. So much so that he had been able to confess a deep emotion like love to you. And you’d accepted him. Loved him back. For a time everything was great. You were around all the time. Nothing else seemed to really matter to Donnie. You were his world and he just circled around it. You continued to be his first for a lot of things. Time continued to pass by and his feelings for you never faded. They only grew stronger and that bond between the two of you would last forever.

Except.

It didn’t.

Unbeknownst to Donnie, your feelings had faded.

His pacing stopped. His eyes drilling holes into the ground before he forced his head to turn to his monitor. Ignoring the rest of the wreck. His heart started to race, in a sickening way that made him feel dizzy. He was looking at a you. His monitor held you.

And someone else. He felt sick as he forced himself to stare. The adoration pouring from your gaze as you held onto this..this stranger! His stomach rolled as he remembered what came after. What not even he could force himself to look at for a second time.

When you had said you “needed a break.” Donnie had thought it was because of school. That’s how you had made it sound. That you were stressed. You needed time alone. It had never sounded like a break up. In fact a kiss was shared between you two before you had left the lair that day. Reassuring him that everything was fine. That you weren’t leaving him. That you loved him more than anything. That this was just for you, and your health.

Donnie had distracted himself to not text you as much. To not call you as much. He still sought after you on social media though. He checked your location from time to time just to keep him from being restless with worry. It was especially hard when the days apart started to add up.

So when you had told him school was out for the summer…that you were out celebrating with friends.. he couldn’t stop himself. He just had to see you. Even if it was just for a moment. He’d tracked your location to some club. Had gotten on the roof to see that no you weren’t inside the building but on the side. Without even thinking Donnie had moved to the edge, moments from jumping down to make a grand entrance in front of you. Not thinking about the what-ifs of getting caught by other humans. He wanted to surprise you. To see that lovely smile light up your face as you took him in, maybe if he was lucky he’d get a kiss. He’d take anything you would give him.

The only thing that stopped him from jumping down was hearing your voice squeal someone else’s name.

Even then, Donnie hadn’t thought anything of it, just a change of plans, to not drop down but to text you saying ‘I’m here!’ or ‘Look up!’ or ‘Hang back for a minute.’

Then he looked over the edge and saw you pressed against the brick wall of the building he was on top of. Looking into the eyes of another with excitement, with anticipation, with love.

And kissing the stranger. Again. And again. And again. Over. And over. And over again.

He had staggered back. Shaking from head to toe as he tore off into the sky. Running away. Flying straight back home to ruin everything in his path. Mainly his lab. And when he could finally piece together two thoughts that weren’t to destroy shit. He already had the recording set up on his monitor. Paused on that look on your face.

He had fled the scene but as always he recorded everything. He couldn’t press play… he couldn’t. This image alone was painfully enough. In fact he had to turn away. Staggering back to his lone chair. It was one of the few things that survived his wrath.

“Fuck.” He croaked as he slumped over, elbows on his knees as his palms pressed into his eyes. Why was this happening? What had he done? You loved another?? He wasn’t enough??? Why had he thought he ever would be? What he didn’t understand was why you even bothered in the first place if this was to be the outcome.

Why had you taught him all of those things?

To love.

Pointless. It was all unbearably pointless.

Hadn’t he become someone more worthy? Now that he knew how to communicate properly and not shut down? To not crawl into his lab and sulk for weeks without speaking his mind? Why? Why. Why??? Why was he still not enough?

For some reason he had thought that love was unconditional. Undying. But it was a fickle thing. Something he now knew he couldn’t rely on. He would never make the same mistake again.

His eyes started to burn and he pressed the heels of his palms into them harder. He didn’t want this. If this was what he got for loving someone as much as he had loved you, he didn’t want it. It hurt. His breathing quickened, no matter how hard he pressed, tears leaked out, wetting his hands as he held back sobs. No. No. No.

And before he knew it the mantra couldn’t overpower his pathetic whimpers. Then it grew louder, more convulsive as the sobs turned to howls. This was worse than any physical pain. How would he be able to fix this. Was there a cure? He didn’t want to feel anything anymore.

After crying until he couldn’t anymore, slowly he straightened in his seat. His tear ducts ached, the stains on his face burned, but it didn’t matter. He had cried so much, for so long, he was sure he would never do it again. Donnie stood, taking in the entirety of his lab. He’d have to clean up first. Then he could work on something. Anything. That would help. It always did. His wrist-tech vibrated, along with his monitor changing screens to show an incoming call from you.

He swiped it away.

He knew what a ‘break’ meant now. He didn’t need to hear you. He didn’t need your confirmation nor consolation. He didn’t need closure. He had lived without you before. He surely could do it again.

He fought against the pain that rushed forward. No he wouldn’t feel anything. He didn’t need you. It was all a sham. Another weakness that he couldn’t afford. He’d forget about this. About you. And he was sure one day he could convince himself this was all some stupid fever dream that he had made up to pass the time.

It would be like you never even existed.

Though it would never conceal the fact that he felt deficient. That he was lacking. That he was someone inadequate to love.

Deep down in the marrow of his bones he would always feel like he was never enough.

—————————————————————————

[callmewrinkles3]

Long story short - DR3 x Fem!OC

Masterlist.

Summary: Summer break 2023 means a trip back to Perth to see how construction is going on the farm and but especially to spend Em’s birthday with family.

Warnings: Mentions of past abusive family dynamics, mentions of sex, past pregnancy loss.

Words: 6k

A/N: Hey hey! We know you’ve missed oneshots so here’s Em’s birthday for you to enjoy. We may have cried multiple times writing this, just very normal. It was pretty great lol. Hope you enjoy it and let us know what you think! All our love, Alex and Cíara.💜

August 2023

The summer break every year - with the exception of 2018 and 2020 - had involved being in the States. It was usually LA and sun for a few days, or a week somewhere in the mountains for Dan to do altitude training to prepare for races like Brazil and Mexico. But that summer things were different. With the farm construction happening fast thanks to the baby’s due date coming so soon, and Blake and Charlie being adorable, the three of them were flying back home to spend the full two weeks of the shutdown in the Australian winter. It was still milder than a European one, Em giggling as the boys changed into thick hoodies before ending the journey that had started in Italy.

Dan wanted to take full advantage of the time off, conspiring with Charlie to plan Em’s thirty third birthday. She knew it was happening and just let him plan it. Even with her dislike of parties she knew Dan wouldn’t go too overboard, so she just laughed and told him to do what he wanted. Having it surrounded by people felt strange. The year before had been just the two of them in their little bubble, and before that it had always been with Dan. She hadn’t had her parents involved since she was ten and had her final birthday party before secondary school. Because she was a summer baby her parents had acted like she didn’t need a party. The kids in school wouldn’t realise there was no party to be invited to.

She insisted it wasn’t necessary to organise anything but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Dan wanted his pregnant wife to be as happy as she could be before the chaos of the last half of the season happened so it was a full thirteen days surrounded by their people before the flight back to Faenza.

Em had to admit that it was a perfect idea. Ever since she’d found out about the pregnancy and told Grace she needed her mother there for all the questions she had. It was a blessing to spend time and to ask the questions she was embarrassed about - even when Michelle butted in and made jokes at her expense. It was there with her family and she felt good. She could call either of them any time that she wanted but it was no substitute for actually being there. She needed the hugs and physical contact that only a mum could give.

What Em had needed the entire time was for the woman who’d promised to love her as her own to wrap her in a cuddle and remind her that everything was going to be fine. That she was going to spend Christmas with her beautiful newborn baby girl. And when Grace said it Em believed it.

They got to spend the two weeks with family and eating good food, being looked after before the world could intervene. That’s what Grace and Joe had always done for Dan and they pulled Em into that world, looking after their kids when they needed it the most.

But the best thing about staying with her in laws and not the building site that was currently their farmhouse was getting to stay in Dan’s childhood bedroom. Grace hadn’t redecorated since he’d left for Italy half his life ago, the old school NASCAR posters on the wall and karting trophies on shelves. The photos of his family and friends were there to surround Dan with reminders of his childhood. Em refused to mention the one of Dan and Michael on their school football team that had disappeared when she was in the shower one morning. She couldn’t ruin their time at home talking about something like that. As far as she was concerned the picture was never there. It was the same way they were all pretending Michael had never been in their lives. Grace and Joe knew better than to ask about him.

That whole situation hurt a little less every day, but it still ached. It was easier when they weren’t in the paddock. The plan was to spend more time in Italy so Dan could be at the factory more where Michael wouldn’t really be. In London and Perth they could avoid his neighbourhood and the places he liked to go. But race weekends it was impossible. They shared the same garage, the same hospitality. They turned left to go into Dan’s driver room at Budapest and Spa and knew that he was the other side of the too flimsy wall having turned right. They could and did run into him at any time. Em wanted to tell him how she was, how the baby was. How his niece was. But Lulu wasn’t going to be his niece. She wasn’t going to even know him. It gutted Em that her brother wasn’t in her life anymore but he’d made his decision and it didn’t hurt as much. But it hurt the most during the parties Dan held in Perth.

The first one was ridiculous and unexpected, held two days after they arrived in Australia. It was part Charlie’s idea and part Dan’s, the decision made between them to celebrate Blake and Em. Neither of them realised that it was happening when they arrived back at the Ricciardos that afternoon. Blake had brought her to take a look at kitchen fittings for the farmhouse, the plan to bring Dan back to look at her top picks before they were put into the rebuilt kitchen. She was getting the kitchen of her dreams and she was taking advantage, copper fittings and marble countertops on the wooden cabinets. There was all the storage she wanted, the plans were ready for her to show Dan and see what he thought. It was their forever home and she couldn’t wait.

She arrived back to Grace and Joe’s to their family there, Charlie’s brother Cal and his boyfriend standing near the back nervously. Blake’s parents had flown out to be there too. Dan stood on a rickety kitchen chair, his hand on Blake’s shoulder to stay steady.

“I’m usually good at saying stuff but this is really hard. The last…the last year or so has been really hard. And there’s two people who could have walked away but didn’t, and this is to make sure they know how loved and appreciated they are. Blake, you’re my brother. You more than anyone else had a reason to yell at me and tell me to get my shit together - sorry Ma.”

“Just this once!” Grace called as Dan collected himself.

“Emmy, you married me and you love me and we’re having a baby and I still don’t know why you decided to stay through everything that was said about you. But you are the best woman I’ve met in my life, and I love you to pieces. You know. But this is just to say thank you to all of you for being there and helping. Cause I wouldn’t be in a seat again without you all.”

It was scattered applause and Em reached for her husband to give him the biggest hug, pulling him tight for a moment as Lulu kicked against him.

“You’re gonna be the best dad, Dan. We love you so much. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

The words were completely true, even with everything that had happened. The emotional and physical pain. The embarrassment being turned away from the paddock in Spa the year before thanks to stupid mind games. The hospital visit and the therapy and the near screaming match with her parents. Because they were home with their baby coming soon and in love. It was hard and worth it.

She spent that day swapping between Isaac and Isabella on her knee, Cal and Ryder taking the other child and playing. The last thing she said to Cal before he left was that Ryder was a keeper, watching the younger man blush. He was a sweetheart like the rest of their family.

Blake and Charlie were the last ones to leave, hugs to everyone the order of the day. Finally they left, Em going nearly straight to bed to sleep thanks to missing her usual afternoon nap.

Em told Dan not to make a huge fuss of her birthday, that a relaxing day would be fine. But she knew really that there was no chance her husband or family would let her birthday pass like that. It was the one day where they could shower her with love and affection without her complaints so they took full advantage.

She woke up that morning to Dan covering her in kisses, pulling her in for slow birthday sex that had them both gasping for breath and desperate to keep quiet. Her husband held her even tighter for a few moments before they got up, Dan leading her to the kitchen where Grace and Joe sang Happy Birthday as she came in. There were pancakes and bacon waiting for her with a candle lit on the top of a lavender iced cupcake. She started tearing up immediately, not even attempting to pretend that it was the pregnancy hormones that caused her emotions. It was happy tears. She was happy and loved and that was what she cared about. She and Dan had made it through, and the joy that morning compared to the worry of the previous year was so different.

It felt like a dream compared to the year before, her husband by her side and she was pregnant with their baby. They were getting everything they wanted and life was good. Nobody was taking this from her and she spent her morning curled up against Dan on the couch as he kept whispering how much he loved her, making her grin and kissing her cheeks with each smile.

Nothing had prepared her for the birthday party that Blake, Charlie, and Dan had prepared for her at the Clarke’s farm. Dan led her into the barn where they’d held their wedding, a shout of “SURPRISE” ringing around the room. She loved it so much, lavender decorations everywhere as their families were all there. She started tearing up of happiness again, tears spilling over as Isaac and Isabella came running over to her yelling “happy birthday Auntie Emmy!”.

She honestly didn’t expect gifts from people. Dan had been the first person to give her gifts just because, but there was a table tucked away in the corner with presents for her to open later. It was insane to her how many there were, everyone saying she could open them later. Charlie’s parents hugged her and pulled a chair out to urge her to sit, Em watching as Isaac and Isabella brought over their presents for her.

The first one that Isaac insisted on her opening had Toy Story wrapping paper, and inside was a huge box with everything she could ever want to make friendship bracelets with. They had a tradition to make new ones every time they were in Perth with the kids, weaving thread and beads together to make cute ones. Isaac explained how he wanted new ones, and he wanted them to make new ones for the baby too.

“They’re gonna be teeny tiny cause the baby’s gonna be like Iz’s dolly, but we need them to have lots so they grow!” He explained to Em, clearly happy to have a new cousin to play with.

“You’re so right, Baby. I love it, thank you! You’re gonna come over at the weekend and we can make some before I go back to Europe?”

With a nod and a kiss on his aunt’s cheek Isaac ran back to his uncle Dan, the promise of getting to go look at the cattle on the farm too alluring. Instead his little sister took his spot on Em’s lap, handing over a box wrapped in lavender unicorn paper. Inside it was a bright pink Barbie box. The doll had brunette hair like Em, complete with a travel set. There was a neck pillow, a suitcase that looked like Em’s own one, and everything else Barbie her could need.

“It’s just like you!” Isabella exclaimed as soon as the paper was ripped away and dumped on the other side of the table. It really did nearly look like her.

“Oh my God, I love it.” She kissed her niece’s curly hair, holding on tightly as Isabella pointed out the phone and camera. “Thank you so, so much, Baby girl. I love it so, so much. It’s the best.”

“Can we play tomorrow?” The little girl asked, looking up with big eyes and an angelic face. It was nearly impossible for Em to say no.

“After school, ok? But then we can, promise. And we’ll have some more cake, but don’t tell your Mum and we’ll make sure to save some for her.”

At the start she didn’t ask why a Barbie doll, it came from her niece and that was what she cared about. But while during the party Isabella kept asking about the baby and patting Em’s tummy, she couldn’t stop wondering why. Once Isabella was safely occupied with one of Charlie’s nieces she decided she had to ask, walking over to her sister in law and getting the words out. As soon as Michelle began to speak Em regretted asking.

“We were in the kitchen and she came to tell me and Mum that you come up with the best stories for the Barbies while you play, but you never had one growing up so you didn’t have a favourite Barbie. She thought because you travel so much Travel Barbie would be your favourite. I couldn’t say no, Em. I’m sorry you never had one.”

Em never thought Isabella would remember that single conversation. It was months ago, the week before her wedding. If she’d realised Isabella would think about it she wouldn’t have said it.

Part of the therapy that Mildred was working on with her was giving her that allowance to be a kid. She’d never gotten to be, but Mildred told her to do the things she wanted to. Spend time with her niece and nephew and play with them. She’d made a bundle of friendship bracelets before seeing Taylor Swift as part of it. So when Isabella asked if she wanted to play Barbies Em said yes immediately.

She and Dan were on babysitting duty, the four of them were downstairs playing with Isaac’s cars. Instead of playing he and Dan had fallen asleep thanks to exhaustion and a sugar crash from the final wedding cake tests. The two girls were alone and Isabella pulled Em upstairs before taking out a Barbie carry case and asking Em to do braids in Skipper’s hair.

It was while Em was twisting the slick strands of plastic hair when Isabella asked her about her favourite Barbie as a kid. She couldn’t tell the truth and break her niece’s childhood. The truth was that her parents thought dolls were ridiculous and she was never allowed to have them growing up, that she had puzzles and non fiction books. Even fiction books had to be by certain authors or she couldn’t read them because they wouldn’t “develop her brain”.

The short answer, the easy one, was “Oh, I didn’t have any Barbies.” Followed by asking if Isabella wanted her hair to match Skippers and a child sitting in Em’s lap to get her french braids put in the subject matter was closed. She was convinced that Isabella had forgotten about it. The next topic of conversation was how pretty her flower girl dress for the wedding was and how she looked “like a fairy princess” in it. But she hadn’t.

Her thoughts were pinned on the topic after she spoke to Michelle. Em went mostly through the motions for the rest of the party, hugging her friends and talking to everyone. Chloe and Scotty made a surprise appearance for her, a giant hug and a promise that Em was coming out with Chloe and Charlie in a couple of days for lunch.

The box with the doll stayed in her hand and all she could imagine was a couple of years time when her daughter started playing with it. She couldn’t imagine having a baby, going through pregnancy and labour to not even want the result. To never really want a baby like her parents never wanted her. Even thinking about her baby girl not having the entire world hurt so much it made her want to cry. It was still four months until she’d arrive and Em and Dan would do anything to keep her safe and love her. Her nursery in London was ready to go, the last thing a photo collage Em wanted to make of all the adults who would love Lulu. The only reason her room in Perth wasn’t ready was because of the construction, but the furniture had been delivered and was sitting in an outbuilding. They already had enough to fill the playroom and the nursery even though Lulu would sleep in their room for the first few months. The travel arrangements were ready to go. They even had Lulu’s luggage all set.

Em had never really understood how someone couldn’t love their own child, but as she counted down the days to her due date it was even harder. She knew there was reasons why, she knew some people weren’t pregnant in good situations. But when she was pregnant and married and had tried for a baby? It was irrational to her that you wouldn’t want that child.

But while the birthday party continued she refused to let herself go there. She wouldn’t let herself think about why her parents were the way they were and how much that hurt. And she definitely wasn’t thinking about how the last time she came home from this room her former best friend had left her life in the most unceremonious of ways. That wasn’t raining on her parade, not today. So she walked over, hugged her husband, whispered how much she loved him and how thankful she was for the wonderful day she was having.

“Remember when you weren’t the party kind and I had to drag you anywhere?” Dan joked, kissing her cheek as she smiled.

“I reckon you were the one who dragged me to different ones ever since we met. But you know me, Dimples. I still don’t like big things much but this? This is nice. These are the ones I like.”

Even at 33 she hated when she was the centre of attention and people sang happy birthday to her. She wasn’t sure if anyone actually liked being surrounded by friends singing off key and out of tune, but for the first time it didn’t feel weird. The people who were around her had been supporting her through every single good and bad moment in the last five years. They loved her no matter how broken or weird she felt. They made sure that she knew how loved she was, no matter what. Every single person had wormed their way into her heart when she’d tried to keep people out. So when the singing ended and she took a deep breath to blow out the birthday candles in one breath she had one wish in her mind. To keep every single person in this room in her life forever.

The winter meant the sun was setting early, exhaustion hitting Em hard. She’d needed naps more and more since she’d become pregnant and this was the second time in a week that she hadn’t had one. After her third yawn and as the kids were getting cranky they all decided to head home. It took Dan to make her sit down and not help clear up, Charlie’s parents half shooing them out of the barn warning that the cleaning was sorted, to go home and rest. Joe drove them back, Grace in the front seat as Em rested her head against Dan’s shoulder and half dozed while the other three made conversation in low tones.

Her husband had to shake her to wake her up when they got back to the house, Em stretching as she undid her belt. It was tempting to stay and sleep in the car, but her back was sore enough after a night in a comfy bed. Sitting up in a car would be worse.

Dan didn’t want to wake her when they arrived back at the house, but it was safer for her to get out of the car on her own instead of Dan lifting her out. He helped her up and closed the door behind her.

“Did you have a good day, Kiddo?” Joe asked a half awake Em as they walked back into the house. Dan’s arm was around her waist to help keep her up and stop her from tripping up with tiredness.

“Best birthday of my life. You didn’t need to do it, but thank you for doing it for me.”

“It’s what you deserve, Darling,” Grace insisted. Her mother in law pushed a kiss to her forehead before Dan brought Em up to bed.

Before they made it into their room Dan dragged her into the bathroom, getting Em to sit on the toilet as he took her makeup off fully and helped rub her moisturiser in. She was too tired to do it, almost deciding to just sleep without washing her face. But as delicately as possible Dan wiped it off, using crouching in front of her as an excuse to stroke her cheek and steal kisses from his wife.

Once they were ready to go to bed Dan lifted her off the toilet and across the hallway to deposit her on the bed, Em giggling at his actions. It didn’t take long for him to pull her dress and leggings off, replacing them with clean underwear and one of his old, worn shirts that was soft enough for Em. She laughed as he kept stealing kisses from her as he pulled the shirt over her bump, rubbing gently

“I’m lazy and sleepy but I can still change my clothes on my own, Babe.”

“You know very well that I love undressing you. Even if you actually have to wear something to bed because we’re at home.”

If they were in the apartment or even on the farm they wouldn’t be wearing anything. The skin to skin contact in bed always made Em relax and help her sleep better but considering they were at Dan’s parents they had to be semi decent. Em wore one of his shirts and Dan would at least keep his underwear on. Even when he complained more than once.

“Any excuse to see me naked, right?” Em smiled before kissing his cheek and finally laying down to be able to rest. “C’mon Dimples, your wifey is exhausted. Come to bed.”

She patted the mattress beside her to wait for Dan to crawl into the bed and she could get into his arms. She knew it’d take him longer to fall asleep than her. Every night since she’d gotten that positive pregnancy test he’d started his own little night time ritual of telling the baby a story while kissing and stroking her bump. He wasn’t joking about wanting to be a hands on dad, so since day one he did everything in his power to connect with their baby. It didn’t matter how long was left until she was in his arms, he wanted his daughter to know who her daddy was from day one.

From all the things he did or could do those five or ten minutes as they wound down for bed were some of his favourite of the day. Most nights Em stayed awake listening to what her husband was saying while she read. Other nights like this one she fell asleep easily and left her loves to have their late night chats.

“Before I get in I have one last thing for you.” Dan pulled a colourful Happy Birthday gift bag that was hidden in the bottom drawer of the wardrobe. “I know you’re going to say I’ve given you too many gifts, but it’s your birthday and our anniversary so birthaversary rules mean I get to spoil you. If you let me I’d spoil you every day. I’m so lucky to get to love you and be your husband. I couldn’t say this earlier cause I’d start crying, but I just…thanks, Emmy. I couldn’t do any of this without you. And you’ve made me the happiest man in the world. I love you.”

“I love you too, Danny. So much. Marrying you is the best thing I ever did. And this better not be lingerie that won’t fit me anymore.” He laughed at her words and handed over the bag, sitting up beside her in the bed. It was six years of being around Dan, of him getting overexcited and determined to spoil her rotten at all times. She’d jokingly complain about how he got her too much, but he was like that for everyone. She learned to get used to how Dan showed his love with gifts and making life easier for people. This was another one of those occasions so she sat up on the bed with a pillow supporting her back, looking at her husband as he smiled.

“You’re the hottest mama in the world, Baby girl. But no, it’s nothing like that. Just open it, ok?”

The second Em opened the bag and saw the stuffed crocodile inside she started crying. Pregnancy hormones couldn’t be blamed for these tears.

When she was three her parents brought her on a trip to a holiday camp in Wales. She barely remembered any of it apart from a little playground beside the pub there, but it was the kind of place that was where they could take her for a weekend to prove how normal they were. An hour from Liverpool, two nights and enough photos to prove they took their daughter away on holiday.

One of the few things she did remember was how much she loved Captain Croc, the crocodile mascot that wandered around. They’d gotten her a teddy, the first one she remembered having. He was vivid green and yellow, blue dungarees with yellow interlocking Cs and big white eyes. He was her comfort toy, hugging him in her tiny arms and bringing him everywhere until she started primary school.

She thought she remembered the feeling of having a new best friend to play with and make up games. Now she knew it was probably her brain trying to make a memory to help her cope with a messed up childhood.

The one definite memory that Em did have was how thirty years later she watched her husband tear up as he looked at a photo of her tiny self holding Captain Croc. Dan held it together until they made it back to the hotel after they left her parents house with the final box of things she was taking. Once they were in that room he started sobbing because he didn’t understand how nobody was there to hold that little girl and tell her how perfect she was. He sobbed because he knew that it was one of the few really happy moments she had in her early childhood. Not that she realised that it should have been better then.

But above all Dan sobbed because that’s what their baby might have looked like. It was the week after she should have had their first baby. They should have been parents. Imagining how their baby could have been hurt like that by anyone cut him to the core and he sobbed in Em’s arms as she held him and promised that they would do better. They would make sure their baby was so loved. She was used to the casual cruelty of her own parents, the way they used words as weapons. Dan who’d never known anything but support and love didn’t understand it.

This teddy meant more than just a gift from her husband to remind her of a bright spot in her life. It was the reminder of slowly healing wounds that still weren’t fully scabbed over. That photo had opened them up more again, and the teddy reminded her more. The day she told Dan the story he held her as they both sobbed. He’d have done anything to have a little girl who looked just like his Emmy. Anything to see his Emmy holding their mini me baby but life was unfair and cruel. Instead of holding their baby that day they held each other, promising that one day it was going to happen. They were going to get to have their family and be happy, no matter what.

But in the final hours of her birthday, thirty one years after she first held her teddy, Em started sobbing again. She had no idea how Dan had found an exact copy of the Captain Croc she’d loved so much but he did. Hers was too delicate, kept in a box in the apartment in London to be shown to her kids as a memento. But he’d found a brand new one, making child and adult Em sob with happiness.

“I knew that a certain little lady wanted to give you a Barbie because you never had one, so I thought that Barbie could do with having a friend. And in a couple of years when our little lady is able to she’ll want to play with them too.” Dan helped Em pull him out of the bag. It should have been easy but her hands were shaking so badly that she couldn’t get him out fully.

The adrenaline and relief flowing through her body made her shake like a leaf in Dan’s arms. Em didn’t know how she had gotten this lucky. She had friends who flew hours to see her for her birthday, a family who loved her enough to make a big deal of her. And the most loving and caring husband in the world. She still didn’t know what she did to deserve it and get it, but she was so thankful for it. It was yet another day where even with everything that had happened, even with the way her parents acted and her family was it was worth it because she had Dan. She’d have done it over and over if this was the result. She was married to the love of her life, she was having their baby, and they were happier than she thought possible.

It took longer than she expected to calm down her sobs, Dan holding onto her tightly. He ran his hand against her back, whispering how much he loved her in between pressing kisses to her face and head. It was whispers of how proud he was of her, how much he loved her, how wonderful she was. And most importantly how he knew that their baby loved her already.

“Marrying you a year ago was the best decision of my entire life, you know that, right?” Em whispered, her voice still shaking with sobs. “Y’know, right?”

“I know. We’re still a couple of hours away from exactly a year.” Dan checked his watch, it was ten in Perth, two in London. This time a year ago he was waiting for Em to come back and pick out wedding rings with him before their four pm appointment.

“Happy anniversary, my Love. It was the best idea we ever had.”

Her birthday overshadowed the fact that it was their first wedding anniversary. A year ago they were running around London, Em buying her wedding dress in Marks and Spencer as Dan wore a suit she loved him in. The two of them standing in the registry office in Kensington and promising to love each other, desperate to keep the other happy and get through the next few months together.

It was hard to believe that 365 days had passed since she finally became Mrs Ricciardo. She loved it. She’d loved being his wife every single day, even the horrible ones. It was a year where she’d woken up at her husband’s side every single morning and she could never take it for granted.

“Happy anniversary, Baby girl. You and our little one here are the greatest things that ever happened to me,” Dan whispered as he pulled her up, close enough to finally give Em a kiss while he rubbed her bump.

“Happy anniversary, Danny. Here, for you.” Em reached across and pulled the wrapped package out from under the bed. She’d been wracking her brain about what to get him, but in the end it was an easy decision. Dan opened it quickly, Em watching as he realised what it was.

Traditionally the first anniversary was paper, and she found someone on Etsy who made star charts of the night sky on important dates. It was the sky above London the night they met, Monaco the first night they spent together, Spa when they said they loved each other for the first time, and London when they’d got married. The poster was their important moments highlighted and she saw the grin spread across his face.

“You are amazing. Thank you. This is…it’s everything.” He put it to the side as he pulled her in, holding her as she began to lull to sleep.

“You know what’s crazy? Next year we’re gonna be celebrating our birthdays and anniversaries with her.”

“That’s all I want. The three of us snuggled up together doing nothing all day.”

Em couldn’t help but smile, imagining how it would be to wake up with their baby and her husband right there. No plans needed except spending the day with the loves of her life. She didn’t want anything else and it felt greedy to even consider asking to get anything else. She got to marry her Dan and love him openly, and their baby was strong and healthy and growing. It was more than she could have imagined.

“We’ll cuddle and eat cake. She better like lemon drizzle. I mean I’ll settle for chocolate fudge if I have to.”

“She might not. I mean I’ve been eating it so much she might hate it. Or she’ll be obsessed.”

“Lulu’s half you, Emmy. She’s obsessed already I think.” Em laughed at his tone, curling into Dan.

“Can I sleep like this?” She asked, hiding her face against Dan’s chest. She felt ridiculous holding Captain Croc in her arms as she could feel sleep hitting her while her husband was holding her tightly. But she felt just as defenceless as the little girl in the photos. The big difference between the Em of thirty years ago was that now there were people who looked after her and hugged her on the bad days. Who made sure she was eating and cared for. She’d never had someone love her unconditionally like that until Dan was in her life.

“Anything you want, birthday girl.”

Em’s wishes were Dan’s commands, so she fell asleep in her husband’s arms, head on his chest as her teddy was between them with Dan’s low whispers to their baby echoing in her ears. It might be immature, a grown woman and soon to be mother getting that comfort, but she wanted and needed it. The rest didn’t matter. She and Dan were happy and that was what was important.

—

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masterlist. ao3.

Summary: reader leaves joel and sarah to pursue a job offer in nyc, thinking it would be easier than watching the relationship die from a distance. she soon realises her mistake and scrambles to fix it. based on this request. 

Pairing: joel x fem! reader (no use of y/n) no outbreak au

Wordcount: 3.8k

Warnings: no smut, just a lot of angst, fluff and attempted humour

A/N: So, I’m clearly incapable of writing short drabbles (sorry lmao) let me know your thoughts!

“‘M just not gettin’ why we can’t make it work?” Joel throws his hands up, hot at your heels while you wipe your eyes on your sleeve and rush to the bedroom. 

“I’m not saying I don’t want to. I’m just saying its unfair to the both of us. I don’t know how long I’ll be down there. What if we find other people? Long distance never works, Joel. I don’t get why you can’t just let it go.” Yelling over your shoulder, you start shoving your clothes into your suitcase, wincing at the harsh scoff he lets out. 

You’d known how this was going to go. You loved Joel, so much. But you had worked practically your whole life to get the job you’d been offered last week. It started in a month, but it was all the way in New York. And you’d known while reading the email, as your initial excitement settled, that the slimy feeling coiling in your gut was right - you’d have to leave Sarah and Joel behind. 

Your experience with long distances in relationships wasn’t great - and more importantly, it would be unfair to both your boyfriend and the girl you considered your own daughter for you to expect them to sit around and wait for you, indefinitely. Because you truly had no idea how this was going to go, at all. 

You wanted to wait until the flight tomorrow morning to break things off with Joel, but he’d been so sweet while helping you get everything together last minute and he’d figured out that something was up almost immediately. So now, here you are. Having a messy breakup with the love of your life 9 hours before your flight to New York. Where you’d live, for god knows how long. 

But this was good, wasn’t it? You were finally reaping the benefits of all the summers spent indoors and working, the missed birthday parties, the cancelled plans. You were finally getting everything you’d ever wanted, right? Except your palms felt clammier, your eyes glossed over with tears and your mind was completely blank as each sharp breath you gulped made you wince like a shard of glass. 

Joel stood to your sight, arms hanging limp to his sides and his eyes on the ground, brows furrowed. He looked heartbroken, and it felt like it was physically tearing you apart not to go and smooth his frown away, kiss away his scowl. You wanted to fix his hurt, but you couldn’t - you were the one hurting him. It was for his own good though. He’d find someone nice, how could he not, and he would be happier. The thought of him holding someone else, of Sarah running up to anyone else with that twinkle in her eye, of someone else fitting into your family made your chest ache.

Nothing is permanent, and they know I love them. They have to know I’ll always love them. They’ll get someone better, they’ll be happier. It’s going to be okay, everything’s gonna be just fine. A stream of rambling consciousness starting playing like a broken record player in your mind, reasoning and justifying what you were doing even as your body-your whole fucking being was protesting it. Your hands were trembling, it’d taken you three tries to close the damn zipper and you knew it. 

Turning to your Joel-not anymore, is he? you’re letting him go, you goddamn idiot (helpful supplication, brain, thank you for making me cry harder)- you sidestep him, leaving him standing dejectedly in the bedroom to drag your suitcase to the curb. The image of him with his head bowed; shoulders slumped as he closes his eyes and clenches his fist, agony radiating from him, is one that sears itself into your memory on your way out. Double checking your passport, boarding pass and phone, you walk in to stand in front of him again, gently bringing a hand up to his cheek to make him look at you. When he opens his eyes, they’re completely bloodshot and lined with unshed tears, breaking you; using all your willpower not to break down and pull him closer, take his pain away. Reigning your raging feelings, you stand on your tiptoes to brush a kiss against his cheek. “Be happy, Joel. Tell Sarah I love her.” You whisper into his skin and turn to leave, startling when he grabs your wrist. 

“Tell her yourself. ‘S gonna break her heart tomorrow mornin’ if she wakes up an’ you’re not here.” He’s searching your sorrowful eyes, watching his words break your façade as you clamp your teeth down on your bottom lip and shake your head fast as more tears spill down your cheeks. 

“C-can’t. I can’t. Please.” 

Joel wants to gather you in his arms, stroke your hair till you calm down. But you’ve got your walls up now - crumbling, shaky walls but still, a barrier you’ve very much built between the two of you. He wanted your happiness, your successes, more than anything, but he wanted to cheer you on by your side, too. He was willing to wait, to call when you could - phones were getting smart now? - but you’d convinced yourself you were doing yourself and him a mercy by ending it. So he just nods, once, before gulping and pawing at the table to swipe his keys. The question written all over your face makes him want to laugh - did you really think he loved you so little he’d leave you to find your own ride to the airport at 9 fucking pm even if you couldn’t stand to look at him anymore? 

So he hauls your bags off the curb and into his truck, yanking the passenger side door open and gesturing for you to sit with a jerk of his head. Once you clamber in, he walks over to the other side and starts the truck, hating every second of this. He wants to scream, shout, and beg you to stay so badly. But if you think this’d make you happy, he’d do it. Anything. 

He just couldn’t understand why you kept saying he’d find better, be happier. As if he’d even try. Sarah’s mother had left, and he’d been crushed - had sworn off dating altogether. But you had come along; your lilting giggles and twinkling eyes carving a place in his heart. He hadn’t been with you because he was looking for anyone, he’d been with you because he thought he had found the one. But clearly he was wrong. Again. 

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he clenches his hands tighter around the wheel to steady them . His mother had always told him if it’s meant to be, it’ll be - and you won’t have any say in it. He knows it’s cliché, but if there’s even a grain of truth to be found in it, he’ll treat the saying as if it were gospel.   

He can hear you sniffing your way there, heart breaking at the soft sobs that escape you, but he makes no comment. There’s no need to make this harder for you. You’d nearly fallen apart when he mentioned Sarah, and he could see in your eyes that if he asked you to stay with him, to sacrifice everything entirely, you’d do it without thinking. But he didn’t want that- could never want that for you. And so he stayed quiet, the stifling silence of the truck broken only by your muffled crying. 

Pulling up outside the airport, he steps out and takes your bags down in complete silence. Itching to fix the awkwardness, he smoothes his hands over his shirt and sneaks a glance at you. You-his headstrong, terrifying little thing - looking this small, this defeated  - feels so wrong that he can’t help but grasp one of your hands in his. Hooking a finger under your chin, he tilts your head up and smiles softly when you meet his eyes. “‘F you ever need me, you call me, you hear? Don’t matter if it’s five am and you’re thousands of miles away. I’ll find you, okay?” Your head barely dips in a nod as you stare at him like you’re trying to memorise the curve of his nose; the set of his jaw. 

Releasing you and stepping back, he plasters a wider grin on his face as he ushers you inside, stopping only to whisper “Don’t be a stranger, hotshot.” The tiny grin blooming on your face sends victory-fueled adrenaline pumping in his veins, his stomach twisting with butterflies at the final step: watching you walk away. He waits till you’re inside and out of his sight, letting a long breath loose in resignation. 

He can see how unsteady your feet are, how you stumble and nearly trip over yourself. She’ll be okay, she’ll be happy. If Joel was a better man, he’d try and understand why you just left him. He would gladly have learned it all for you - the SMS texting, even the Skype stuff he’d heard of from a colleague; apparently you could see someone on your phone while talking to them - even if he was all thumbs at it. Sarah would likely have helped him with it, too, the girl loved you so damn much she would have gone outta her way to find ways to make the distance feel as normal as possible. But you didn’t ask for any of that. No, you asked him to let you go. So he would. 

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You sit in the lounge, miserable. Forcing yourself to take your mind off the clusterfuck that your life has become, you reach out for a magazine and start flicking through some mindless droning bullshit about a celebrity being spotted at a bar. Anxiety and unease had the wheel now, so you decide what the hell, and walk to the airport bar, ordering whiskeys one after the other until your head is swimming and you can’t remember how to stay upright walking in god knows which corridor of this too-big airport. Funnily enough the only thing the alcohol isn’t strong enough to wipe is Joel. How you didn’t even say goodbye properly, not to him and not to Sarah. They deserved better. You’re doing them a favor by leaving. 

Your head swarming with stinging taunts directed towards yourself, you stumble into the bathroom and begin a four-hour-long stint of curling up next to the milky white porcelain, hurling intermittently as you lay on the filthy vinyl floor and relish the cold bite against your burning skin. Drinking on an empty stomach had been shit oversight on your part, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d made more mistakes than one tonight…

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Your job was all you could have asked for. The opportunity of a lifetime, with a salary high enough that your account was close to hitting 6 figures in less than a year. It had taken a long time and a lot of hard work to reach here, but it was worth it. The job was, atleast. But when you swung your door open late at night, walking into a dark, cold apartment; when you got sick and had to lay shivering in bed alone for a week; when the weekend rolled around and all you could do was curl up in bed and sob into your pillow - you knew that this wasn’t worth the cost of your relationship. You’d lost weight, your eyes had semi-permanent bruises under them, your hands shook most of the time now. 

It was getting worse and worse, until one morning when your alarm went off for work, you just shut it off and slept in some more. Then cleared out the depressive clutter that had started to overflow on every table, in every cabinet. Threw out the half-empty liquor bottles and for the first time since you had landed here, you knew what you were doing.

You were going back to Texas. Fuck your two-week notice. You’d made enough money to sit on your ass and do small jobs for the rest of your life if you wanted to. The eight-month stint at the firm you were currently working at - even just summarized in two lines on your CV - would help you get better jobs than you were doing before. But you weren’t going back to Austin for work, not really. 

You missed Sarah like a phantom limb; it felt like someone had ripped away a part of you and forced you to live with it. You missed her jokes, her laughter, the way she’d get excited about something and talk your head off. And him. You didn’t miss him, you fucking ached for him like a lovesick puppy. His name alone made you ache, and he plagued every single minute you spent awake since you left. You kept replaying that night over and over again; every single minute of it immortalized in your memory like your own personal purgatory (fun!). Joel, who would have held your hair back when you hurled your guts up at the pavement on the bad nights. Joel, who would have held you and fed you and loved you and why the fuck did you ever think it was a good idea to leave him, again? 

Snapping yourself out of your thoughts, you packed your things into the same bag you’d arrived with. You hadn’t even bought anything to furnish the apartment, making do with the too-small bed, cabinet and wonky table the landlord had provided - as if you’d known you wouldn’t stay. And you suppose, perhaps, a part of you did know. How was any of this worth anything if he wasn’t with you? The long-term good can go fuck itself. I need to see him. Should I just knock on his door randomly like a creep? No, that’s weird. What if he has another girlfriend now? Yeah, I should ask him before showing up. What if he doesn’t pick up? Where will I go if he isn’t there? God, fuck this. Get on a goddamn plane before you change your mind, idiot. 

With these (wonderful) thoughts dizzying you, you reach the airport and ask the counter for a ticket home. Turns out there’s a flight in thirty minutes - which is great because on one hand you can get rejected earlier - but also means that you need to decide whether or not to text him beforehand. Within the next half hour. Which you then spend wringing your hands, pacing, and by the time you decide to text him, your phone has run out of battery. See this? This, my friends is luck. (or, you know, dramatic plot writing.)

Huffing, you debate yourself every single step of the way onto the plane, practically having a panic attack by the time you find your seat and settle in. There are just so many reasons this could just be another shitshow. You can’t go back in time and fix what you did, but you owe it to yourself and to him to apologise and give him the truth. And so you lie back in your seat and browse yet another crappy magazine to pass the time, eventually giving up and fitfully sleeping through the turbulence. 

By the time you reach his door, its eleven pm on a Tuesday night. Meaning Sarah’s gone to bed, and Joel’s halfway there himself. This is not the time. Or the place. But you don’t find yourself having any better, genius ways to do this - so before you talk yourself into going home quietly - you’re rapping a fist against the door, careful not to be loud enough to wake Sarah up. It’s a school night. Holding your breath, you become suddenly all too aware of your flushed face and the sweat on your palms as you hear familiarly heavy footsteps reaching the door. One half of your mind is yelling at you to turn the fuck around and run what are you doing he won’t take you back you broke his heart get out get out get out while the other half seems to have just short-circuited, leaving you frozen on his porch as his door swings open. 

You watch his eyes widen in surprise, and the slight furrow in his brow as he starts scanning you - for injuries, you realise - he thinks you're hurt or that something’s gone completely sideways. Clearing your throat, you wait for his gaze to snap back to yours before flashing him a meek smile. “C-can I come in? Please?” He just stares at you for a second, and then he’s nodding, stepping to the side and opening his door wider. And God, even that’s enough to have butterflies fluttering in your stomach, your throat going dry. He’s clearly mad at me, but he’s letting me in. At eleven pm. Fuck, I love him. 

You sit on your side of the couch and the sheer mundanity of it hits you like a brick to the face. Joel brings you both beers from the kitchen before sitting across from you, still eyeing you with equal parts suspicion and concern. You fiddle with the hem of your shirt, looking down at your hands and trying to figure out what the fuck to do with my mouth what do I even say until he breaks the silence. “So, how’s work been?” 

And now your hands are shaking again, and you freeze. Because what do you say now? Work’s great, practically a corporate wet dream, but useless. See, turns out I made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving - fucking moped about like an idiot the whole time, was practically a minute away from writing you some big shitty sonnet or something to beg you to take me back. Decided against it because that would have taken like $50 dollars just to SMS. ‘Course I could have boom-boxed it, ‘Say Anything’ style, but recording a fucking sonnet on a cassette would probably have shredded my dignity irreparably. Not that this isn’t, it’s just less of a socially-masochistic option, you know?

And it isn’t until you hear him choke on his beer and look up at the amusement on his face that you realise you just said all of that, out loud. You slap a hand to your mouth just as he starts laughing: head bowed, eyes closed and his shoulders shaking - just like that night, but he’s not in pain this time; he’s practically howling with laughter, clutching his stomach with one hand and holding his beer in the other. 

You freeze again, eyes wide and staring in shock at the fact that that just came out of my mouth. And he just heard it. He shakes his head, still chuckling, and pointedly wipes a tear from his eye. Bastard. You, on the other hand, are completely panicking still - that was the shittiest apology you could have given him and where the fuck did that messily written draft you wrote drunk on the takeout bill last night go? It isn’t until he’s looking right at you with a shit-eating grin on his face that you react, blinking and looking down at your hands again. 

“What I meant to say was that I’m sorry. I think I was just so convinced that I’m not the effort of you trying to stay with me long-distance that I convinced myself the only thing possible was to end it. Which, y’know, of course it wasn’t. And I didn’t even say bye properly. You drove me to the airport and I said nothing. I was trying so hard not to cry, because I thought I needed that job since I’ve been working for it so long, but fuck the job. I mean, it was amazing, don’t get me wrong. Great pay and everything, the work itself wasn’t too bad. All in all, amazing. But I was fucking miserable without you. And I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve what I did to you. I fucking love you and Sarah. You’re my whole goddamn world, y’ know? Sundays weren’t the same without chocolate chip pancakes and Sarah telling me about something that happened at school first thing in the morning. I just-I get if you’ve found someone - and feel free to tell me to fuck off even if you haven’t - but I just can’t anymore, I can’t stay awake every night and cry in bed and feel like shit all the time and not tell you that I just miss you so much all the fucking time and I’m so-“

“Breathe.” One word, he’s cutting your rambling off with one word, and you’re fucking obeying it. You swallow a deep breath before opening your mouth again, before he cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours. It’s not a soft kiss, but it isn’t forceful either. Desperate, like he needed to touch you again - the way you’ve needed to every single minute of every single day. Resting his forehead against yours, he’s smiling again. “Sonnet, huh? Would’a been a pretty shit one, I reckon. Lost your train a’thought like four times there, sweetheart.” Your stomach is doing somersaults at the fact that he’s abandoned the beer to cradle your head against his, at how he’s right there and he isn’t pushing you away. 

“Wasn’t right, what you did. But we can’t make the right decisions all the time. I know you thought you were doing us a favor, but thinking you weren’t worth the effort? Now that’s a fuckin’ lie, baby. Woulda learned all kinds of phone voodoo to talk to you, and it would have been worth every damn secon’ of my time if it saved you from whatever the hell New York has done to ya. Staying awake every night and cryin’ in bed?” He tuts disapprovingly, continuing: “Shoulda called me, honey. How’s this: let’s get into bed now, an’ I’ll make you those pancakes tomorrow mornin’, I promise. And we can figure it out from there, okay?” And it takes you a second to process the fact that everything’s okay, before you’re nodding and your face is scrunching into a sob. His hands are immediately cradling you on either cheek as he’s shushing you softly, moving closer to move you into his lap. You were right. No matter how far you went, nothing could replace this right here. This; Joel; Sarah. After a long, tiring, painful eight months, you were finally home.

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings @suckerforfanfic (sorry this tag wasn't working earlier)

[fleouriarts]

posting ocs on this account for the first time in forever... and making NEW ocs for the first time in forever too. please welcome my new funny animals

heights on the pic are measured from top of the skull (so not including hair or ears)

more info about everyone below the cut

JAMIE NAM: banded linsang. 19. he/him tboy. animation student. he is a nervous wreck and kind of a cringe failboy but by god he's trying his best

SANTIAGO FLORES: sheep. 20. he/him cis dude. fine arts student. absolute sweetheart with a huge family who's been dating jamie for only a few months before the inciting incident of the story (detailed below)

JOHNNY DEAN CLANTON: red appaloosa horse. 21. she/her cis butch. worked on her family's chicken/various other birds farm for a year after high school, then decided to just be a "free spirit" living out of her van and doing odd manual labor jobs for people. she's also an absolute player (with a thing for small carnivores in particular)

NULL: blue point siamese cat. 20. they/them agender. chemistry student and pawblix (furry version of publix) cashier. they are actually friends with people, but they're also great at lying and generally pretending to get along with people they hate. needs a smoke break

ARGYLE LANCASTER: lion. 21. he/him cis dude. engineering student who burnt out and decided to go into fashion design instead. chill and agreeable to a fault, he will go with whoever else's flow even if it ends up hurting him (or someone else)

the general gist of this story is that everyone here except for santiago knew each other in high school. jamie is best friends with johnny, johnny is briefly dating null, and null is friends with argyle. jamie gets introduced to null through johnny, then gets introduced to argyle through null. jamie is immediately smitten and has a crush on argyle for months

at the end of jamie's junior year/argyle's senior year, jamie finally asks argyle out. argyle says yes, but he's really not that into jamie, he just wants to see what will happen (... and also feels bad for him). over the course of the summer it becomes clear to argyle that this relationship cannot last but he keeps putting off on breaking up with jamie. finally, the day before argyle moves across the country to go to college, he admits to jamie that he was kinda dating him out of pity and breaks up with him. jamie, understandably, loses his fucking mind, blocks argyle on everything after he leaves, and proceeds to have the worst senior year of all time

flash forward a few years. jamie is now a sophomore in college in an animation program. he's got a new beautiful sheep boyfriend named santiago. null, who was only really an acquaintance before, goes to the same college as them and they become better friends. johnny isn't always in town but they still hang out on the regular. jamie is still mad at argyle, because why wouldn't he be, but there's enough good in his life that he doesn't have to focus on his one bad high school relationship

... until argyle, dropping out of his ruthless engineering program, decides to transfer back home. to jamie and co's college. now BOTH of them have to deal with feelings that have built over the past three years as seeing each other becomes almost unavoidable. jamie has to grapple with the fact that he can't be mad at argyle forever, and argyle is forced to actually deal with the fact that he hurt someone like that instead of just hoping they've gotten over it

... ok wow i did not expect to type that much. i scripted a comic of jamie seeing argyle for the first time in three years in a frenzy a few weeks ago, and i've been telling myself that i HAVE to do a longer comic (and by longer i mean like. more than 3 pages) with my ocs this year, so hopefully i'll start working on that soon. i'm also gonna make a separate Lore Post about my furryverse because there's some silly stuff i've come up with for it. anyway ENJOY

[kyber-kisses]

In The Darkness

Elrond x Elven!reader

Warnings: nightmares, slight canon divergence, me not knowing shit about elves.

Summary: you and Elrond had been friends since you were children, you know everything about each other. . . Or at least that’s what you were thought to believe.

A/N: I’m a slut for comfort fics so here you go, I wrote this in like half an hour and didn’t proof read.

You used to love the nighttime when you were little. You would stay up late even when your parents told you not to, all so you could simply watch the stars and learn the constellations. The world seemed to fall away when the sun disappeared. The Gray Havens became quiet and it felt like all was possible and right in the world.

But that was a long time ago. When you were still a wild and hopeful elven child.

Those peaceful nights were gone now. It felt like they had departed centuries ago. . . And perhaps they had. But you dare not admit it aloud. Not to an empty room, not to yourself— not even Elrond.

Elrond.

Another piece of your childhood you held so close and so dear. He was your dearest friend and closest confidant. You told each other everything.

Everything except this.

How your nights were no longer peaceful and hadn’t been in a long time. Each evening when the sun dipped beyond the horizon and left only a vault of darkness above your head, you could feel the tenseness that crawled over your body like hundreds of tiny spiders. You stayed up as long as your body would allow it, half the time ending up falling asleep at your desk in your chambers. The lit candles only extinguishing when they had reached the end of their wick.

Sometimes the nightmares weren’t as bad, but other times they were so extreme that you would wake up with a start, drenched in sweat and panting like a dog. There were nights though where no dreams came at all. No nightmares, no good dreams— just an inky blackness that seemed to swallow you whole.

In other words; you found no peace at night.

—and this was one of those nights. Your balcony doors were open to allow the soft summer breeze to flow through your chambers, sending the flames of your candles dancing and the light fluttering over the vaulted ceilings above you. The air smelled sweet as always, the apple tree just beyond your windows in heavy bloom.

Leaning forward on your bed, you looked out the open balcony doors. Beyond the green tree branches the moon was making its nightly journey across the sky and hiding by its position now it would be close to midnight. Most of Gray Havens would be asleep by now- apart from the guards and the handful of elves that stayed up late into the night binging on fine wine.

You were lucky to be in high King Gil-Galads Council. It allowed to you stay on the royal grounds and in one of the most peaceful areas in all of Lindon. Plus, Elrond was always near and you had no clue how you would have gotten this far in in life without him.

*. *. *. *. *. *

Ash and smoke.

That’s all your senses could detect. You couldn’t smell, see, or touch anything else.

It felt heavy on your skin, like when a branch of heavy snow falls atop of you during a spring thaw. You cannot move, you cannot breath. There is no out.

Thunder rolls strong and loud over your head, and blood red lightning breaks through the ash and smoke in rapid and jagged streaks. You don’t know how long you are stuck there all you know is that it feels like days.

—- and then suddenly the smoke clears just enough to allow you to see your surroundings. . .

And you scream.

It was visceral and desperate and made your own blood curdle like old milk. It ripped your throat to shreds and challenged the mere volume of the thunder above you.

And you couldn’t stop.

“Y/N. Y/N!” Soft yet strong hands grip your shoulders tight, shaking you just enough to pull you from the pit mid scream.

You don’t allow your mind time to register your surrounding s before you are throwing yourself forward. You don’t know what you connect with all you know is that it’s warm and soft and had a heartbeat. Your fingers curl deeply into smooth fabric , desperate to cling to anything that is alive and breathing.

There is barley a pause before arms wrap tightly around you, thumbs rubbing soothing circles across your shoulder blades.

“It’s alright. You are alright. A cuith tesse.”

You know that voice.

You are not sure if it’s his words or the sound of his mere voice but that is all it takes to settle you. You allow yourself to slump forward into his arms, fingers still gripping his tunic tightly as you bury your face in his shoulder.

“Elrond.”

“Yes, it is me. You need not worry. I am here.”

Unbeknown to you, your shrieks had woken you friend who slept just down the hall. It had put Elrond on his feet in mere moments, running barefoot from his chamber and towards the sound of your cries. He had burst in, eyes wild with fear and hair all out of place. It had taken him only a moment to realize what was happening and he had not wasted a second at rushing over to you to pull you from whatever hell scape you were trapped in.

“Do not leave me.”

“I would never.” His voice was softer than the summer breeze as he pulled you back from him, his hands holding your face delicately as he used to his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had tracked down your cheeks.

Heavy with exhaustion you allow your forehead to come to a rest against Elronds.

You were ok. Elrond was here. The air was calm and sweet. There was no danger. There was no smoke or ash- or anything else.

And just like when you were a child, the world fell away around you- leaving only you and Elrond.

*. *. *. *. *. *.

When you awoke again Elrond was gone and you were tucked delicately into bed. Rays of morning sunlight danced through the leaves and through your open doors, warming your face and allowing you to breath deeply.

With Elronds absence you convinced yourself that everything had been a dream. None of last night had been real.

Slowly rolling out from beneath the blankets you placed your bare feet on the marble floors of your chamber, toes curling at how cool it felt. Pulling a stray blanket off the bed, you wrapped it loosely around your shoulders before taking soft steps out into the fresh morning air.

The royal grounds were teeming with life. Flowers were in full bloom, the trees all hanging on to their shades of summer green. The smell of freshly baking bread mixed with the earthy and floral scents to create a perfect summer morning.

Sinking slowly to the floor of balcony, you crossed your legs and wrapped your blanket tightly around you, eyes closing as you relished in the serenity of it all.

You barely acknowledged the sound of your door opening or the sounds of footsteps crossing the room towards you.

“I expected you to still be asleep.”

“I rise with the sun, you know this. Ever since we were children.” You smiled softly, seeing Elrond lower himself to sit besides you.

“Of course.” You could practically sense his smile without even looking at him. “Here, I’ve brought you some tea.”

With that you opened your eyes, turning to look at him as he passed you a heavy ceramic cup, tendrils of steam creeping over the lip of it as you took it in your hands.

“I apologize for last night. I did not mean to wake you up.”

“You need not apologize, it was a nightmare- nothing more.” Elrond placed a palm on your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I will always come to your aid. No matter what.”

With a soft smile you nodded your head but it didn’t last long before your face slowly fell, remembering the nightmare he had rescued you from.

“Your nightmare, what was it?”

It was like he could read your mind at times. He just had a way of knowing what you were thinking.

“I’m not sure. There was so much smoke and ash. I was choking on it. And ev—“ you paused, swallowing the lump in your throat and you fought back tears. “And everyone was dead. Everywhere I looked there lay somebody I cared about, dead and caked in ash. And you—“ you dared not speak the words into existence in fear that it might happen.

“I, am right here.” Elrond stated reassuringly, taking your hand and squeezing it. “And I am not going anywhere, at least not without you. You need not be afraid.”

“But what if they come back? The nightmares?”

“Then I will still be here to chase them away.”

In the following silence you met Elronds gaze, words unspoken being conveyed in just a look. You arnt entirely sure who moved first, but it was slow- like a child taking their first steps. All you knew was one moment you were looking into each others eyes and the next his palm was holding you cheek and your lips were connecting in the most gentle of kisses. It was so gentle you almost believed it was a kiss from the breeze and not a boy.

“Do not worry, the nightmares will pass. All darkness does. And I will be besides you every step of the way.”

And with that everything was calm and at peace. . .

Until three days later, when Galadriel rides into Eregion and says the south lands are gone. All that is left is smoke and ash. . . And so much death.

The End.

[satureja13]

Saiwa: "What are we supposed to do? If we thaw him up, he will bite you. He's not himself anymore and the craving for you is driving him insane." Ji Ho: "Let him. Drinking my blood won't kill him anymore and there's no other way to stop the craving. Not in this state. We saw it on summer solstice."

Saiwa: "But what if he doesn't stop and kills you?" Ji Ho: "He will stop." And so Jeb thawed Vlad up again.

He still feels a little stiff but smelling Ji Ho's warm blood revived his spirits and he responded to his thirst.

Ah - the bliss!

Will he eventually stop? Saiwa and Jeb start to worry. There's no way holding back Vlad except freezing him again. And then they would have to start all over - again...

But finally Vlad stopped drinking from Ji Ho - and fell. And when he came to his senses: "Gods - what have I done? ... Forgive me. Sai...please. Take him away from here. I can't face him... And I don't wan't him to see me like this."

Saiwa: "Let's go, Ji Ho."

And only when Sai and Ji Ho mounted their horses and left, Vlad allowed himself to break down.

Vlad: "Why didn't you stop me? How could you let me do this to him?" Jeb: "It was Ji Ho's idea in the first place. There was no other solution anyway and you know that. Come on now. I'm going to heal you and then I'll bring you back to the farm. Everything will be fine."

sigh

'Today I don't need a replacement I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant My heart going "Boom-boom-boom" "Hey, " I said "You can keep my things, they've come to take me home"

Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel (I started putting a verse of this song in each episode of the Solsbury Hill chapter. This is the last verse of the song. The portal closed. Kiyoshi and Jack will have to find another way back.)

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest

[sleepy-yn]

Is it me or her?

warnings: None(?) insecurities

Genre: angst to fluff

She was all anyone could talk about. She was exceptional, strange, not normal. For a school made for outcasts to bond, she sure made herself one. I remember when everyone used to talk about me like that. I'm not jealous per se, I'm simply confused. When she arrived, she took my boyfriends attention wherever she went. I mean there wasn't much special about her, she wasn't a creature, didn't have any special abilities.

Wednesday Adams, she was good at everything without even trying, didn't draw unnecessary attention to herself. Maybe that's why he's infatuated with her. Which leads us here, and why I'm hiding in the nightshades library. I had a legacy too, not that my boyfriend remembers that now.

"She has a legacy," the mocking tone of my voice is muffled by whatever Cigarettes After Sex song was playing in my ears. The smoking wood aroma is comforting, one I'm all too used to. I hide in here most days, especially now that my boyfriend is constantly running after Wednesday.

"Just break it off already," I whisper, my breath choked up in my throat. A tap on my head shoots my eyes open.

"Y/N, you good?" Ajax's eyebrow is cocked up and he's looking down at me.

"Yea, totally fine," I gather my stuff hurriedly trying my best to push past him.

He grabs me by the elbow, "Woah, what's up? Do you want me to get Xavier?"

"There's no point, I don't even know where he is."

"He's in his art studio with Wednesday. Want me to walk you?" He pipes up, his thumb pointing in the direction of the stairs. Of fucking course he's with her. I wasn't even allowed to go into his studio most of the time, but I guess he makes all types of exceptions for Wednesday.

"No, it's okay. He's busy." I rush up the stairs and past Ajax. He's a good friend, but he's not just mine.

Getting to my dorm, I find my roommate gone. She probably went to visit her girlfriends dorm, finally some alone time. I'm no Wednesday but I am pretty good at playing the guitar. Settling in my window seat, I play around with the chords.

"It almost feels Like it was just a dream All these memories of you and me Blown away In the summer breeze It almost feels like We just never were All this time we spent was just a blur Now it's just me and a melody So what am I Supposed to do 'Cause all these plans We -" A knock on the door interrupts me, when I turn around I'm all but happy with the sight.

"You're supposed to knock BEFORE coming in," I turn back away from the door, eyes settling back on the guitar.

"I'll remember that next time." I doubt there will be a next time. "I heard you were looking for me."

"Your sources were wrong." I refuse to look at him because if I do I know I'm going to start crying.

He makes his way in front of me, sitting in my direct line of vision. "Baby, talk to me." he whines, his voice deep but childlike. He makes me so weak.

I get up and make my way to the guitar stand and deposit the instrument there. Like a puppy, he follows me.

"Are you ignoring me now? Ajax said you were upset, c'mon tell me what's up," his cold hands find their place on my hips, holding me still in front of him.

"Why don't you go hang out with Wednesday and leave me be," it came out more broken than I wanted it to.

He spins me around and wraps his arm around my waist. "Is that what this is about? You're jealous?"

"Of course I am! What am I supposed to think when my boyfriend is running off with another girl all the time leaving his ACTUAL girlfriend alone." I push his arms away and turn so my tears were hidden.

"Baby look at me," he holds my chin between his index and his thumb, the pout on his lips coming into view. "No one could ever replace you, I promised you that. Remember?"

Of course I did, he reiterated it on the day he gave me my promise ring. We went out by the lake, sitting on the dock and he put it on me just like that. He promised we were forever and that the ring was a placeholder for the real thing.

"I know you did, doesn't exactly feel that way right now, though."

"Princess, I am utterly enchanted by you. There is nothing that could change that, not even Wednesday."

"So there's nothing going on between you two?"

"Absolutely nothing, she just has been really into solving these murders. I just don't want her to get hurt by Tyler like I was. She's our friend." He accentuated the last word, drilling it into my head.

"I'm sorry I'm such a bad girlfriend," I dug my head into his chest. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head, rubbing my back up and down.

"You're not, you just get too into your head, hm?"

“I’ll try not to.”

"I think we need to go see Ajax though cause he's convinced we broke up."

"Oh jeez," I pull away and take his hand dragged him out of the room.

I guess I had nothing to worry about.

[whorekneecentral]

Super flirty, always teasing with Daniel Riccardo. He's back home in Melbourne. He invites you to the pub with a few of his mates to catch up with everyone while he's at home. A few too many drinks later, your both hiding in the corner of the pub making out, hands everywhere a bit of grinding until you whisper to him to let's get out of here. Hand in hand you try to make a sneaky exit except all your friends saw that very public display and your friends are quick to cheer when you go to leave.

okay yeah no this is everything 

Daniel’s arm hung over the back of your chair, his fingers tapping on your arm to the beat of the music playing in the pub. The two of you were were out with some friends seeing that he's home for the summer break. 

He leans towards you, whispering to you. “You look beautiful tonight.” And even under the dull lighting of the bar, he can see the blush creeping up to your cheeks. 

“Thank you babe.” You smile at him. You can feel Daniel move his arm from around you to drop it back at his side, his hand finding it's way to your thigh. Slowly but surely, Daniel’s hand creeps up your thigh to rest by the hem of your shorts. 

“I'm gonna get another beer,” you announce suddenly, standing up. Daniel has a smirk playing on his lips. “I’ll come with you.” He stands and you shake your head, “no, I’m fine.” 

“I didn’t say you weren't, just want another beer. Is that a crime, baby?” He asks and you roll your eyes. 

“Okay whatever.” You walk off, leaving Daniel at the table as you find your way to the bar. You’re standing in a corner, waiting for the bartender when you feel someone cage you in between them and the counter, his chest pressed to your back and you can smell the cologne and beer coming off of him. 

“Can I help you?” You ask him, and he shrugs, pressing a kiss to your neck. 

“Stop it,” you push him back with your shoulder. 

“We’re in public,” “So?” He asks, still kissing along your neck. 

You and Daniel weren't dating but you were definitely more than friends. You occasionally hooked up when he was home but it was never more than that; unless he bought you to a race with him. Then maybe it was starting to look like a little more. Everyone knew the two of you were flirty with each other but they didn’t know to what extent or at least you thought they didn’t know. 

“You’re trouble.” You mumble, leaning back against him. “You love trouble.” He mumbles and you turn to face him. “Say who?” 

“You.” He grins, leaning in to kiss you. 

You hesitate but you kiss him anyways, your arms over his shoulders. Daniel’s got you pushed up against the counter, his own hands reach down to grab your ass, making you giggle against his lips. Pulling Daniel against you, you can feel how hard he is and you pull him down a little more to whisper to him; “how about we get out of here?” 

“Why would we do that?” He asks, you can see the glint of wickedness on his face. 

“Oh.” you nod, running your hand down his torso, stopping above his dick. “You’ll take care of that yourself?” 

“I mean.. fine. You’re such a bad influence on me.” Daniel smiles, kissing you once more.  He grabs your hand, pulling you through the crowded pub to the other side to leave but you’re both spotted by your friends and you know that you can hear them cheering as Daniel pulls you outside. 

[swetty88]

Steven Universe Future Timeline (Including the Movie) [Short version]

We recently made a timeline for the events of Steven Universe Future, including the movie. It was very entertaining to find the exact dates, but we have to admit, it was a very long post that I had to remove a bit of the formatting to comply with the character limit, also, it takes a long time to read. So I made a condensed, shorter and better formatted version of the post.

My inspiration for creating this timeline was the original series timeline made by NubOnReddit on Reddit, which you can find by clicking here.

I considered some details for the construction of the timeline. Some from the series and others based on the timeline on Reddit:

Steven's birthday is August 15th. (Canon)

Steven was born in 2001, turns 16 in 2017 and 17 in 2018. (Headcanon)

With the exception of "The Future", Steven is 16 years old in the entire season of Future, according to his medical record in "Growing Pains". (Canon)

"Snow Day" occurs in December (Headcanon) and from Monday to Wednesday. (Canon)

"Snow Day" occurs one week before the third quarter (Canon), for Steven and by extension for Little Homeschool, third quarter means the third month of the four-month school period. (Headcanon)

"Little Homeschool" and "Guidance" are at most a week apart because Little Homeschool is recent. (Headcanon)

"Little Homeschool" and "Little Graduation" are at least two months apart because during that time Sadie and Shep start dating. (Canon)

"Rose Buds" and "Snow Day" are at least a month apart because Steven becomes a vegetarian. (Canon)

"Prickly Pair" occurs in June because among Steven's plants is a blue campanula, which blooms in June. (Headcanon)

"Bismuth Casual" takes place in mid-June because it is after exams at the cram school. (Headcanon)

"Together Forever" takes place during the beginning of the school vacations because Connie might be getting ready for college in the morning and it seems like her 15-minute break is recent. (Headcanon)

School vacations in human schools don't interfere with classes at Little Homeschool. Classes are from Monday to Friday throughout the year and Saturdays and Sundays are days off. (Headcanon)

"Growing Pains" takes place the day after "Together Forever" because Connie told Steven that she would call him at lunchtime in the previous episode. (Canon)

"Mr. Universe" takes place two days after "Growing Pains" because Steven said that he went to the hospital two days ago. (Canon)

In "Mr. Universe" Greg says his parents go to Florida Island every winter. To keep things consistent, Greg's parents also started traveling in the summer and he didn't know it. (Headcanon)

"Fragments" takes place one day after "Mr. Universe" (Headcanon) and has a range of five days. (Canon)

"Homeworld Bound” takes place on the night of the fifth day of "Fragments" (A.K.A. the day Steven shattered and revived Jasper) and in the early morning of the next day, on which "Everything's Fine" takes place. (Canon)

"Everything's Fine" and "I Am My Monster" occur on the same day. (Canon)

"The Future" takes place months after "I Am My Monster" (Canon) between October and early December. (Canon)

In the movie, the events supposedly began on May 21 (a Monday in 2018) according to Sadie Killer and the Suspects concert poster. However, it would be impossible for Steven to be 16 in "Growing Pains" if he had already gone through a winter. So I interpreted it as a moment of a little mistake (Like when Garnet asked a question in "Cheeseburger Backpack" or when Connie was affected by Blue Diamond's power in "Reunion") and adjusted the start date to Monday, August 21, 2017, with Steven turning 16 a few days ago.

As I progressed through the timeline, I included a few more details based on which month the events of each episode were most likely:

Since "Snow Day" occurs on Monday December 25 (2017), January 1, 2018 would be the start of the third quarter. So, Little Homeschool started on November 1, 2017.

The graduation of the Off Colors would be on February 28, 2018.

From "Little Homechool" to "A Very Special Episode", each episode would occur on a different day of the week.

"Little Homeschool" occurs on Monday, November 6 because the school would be in its first days and because… it's Monday.

In 2018, June 14 was Eid al-Fitr (End of Ramadan), so "Bismuth Casual" occurs after the mentioned date so Patricia can be present without skipping Tarawih (Correct me if I'm wrong).

Due to a chain of days that links the episodes from "Together Forever" to "I Am My Monster", "Together Forever" can only occur on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, and "Everything is Fine" occurs on a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday respectively.

"The Future" occurs over two days, as Connie is present on the morning of the first day and it doesn't appear to be a school day at Little Homeschool, the first day occurs on a Saturday or Sunday and the second day occurs on a Sunday or Monday respectively.

For some dates I implemented the following matches (I'm Peruvian, so I looked for dates in the United States because the series is set there. Correct me if I'm wrong on some):

"Guidance" occurs on November 11 because it's Veterans Day, the healed gems are basically military veterans.

"Why So Blue?" occurs on January 17 because it's International Mentoring Day. As Steven and Lapis try to teach two other Lapises to stop destroying worlds, the concept fits.

"Growing Pains" occurs on June 27 because it's National PTSD Awareness Day. In this episode we see that Steven has PTSD, and Dr. Maheswaran gave a good explanation of the topic.

The second day of "The Future" (A.K.A. when Steven begins his journey) occurs on Monday, November 5 because it would be exactly one year after "Little Homeschool" (November 6, but still a Monday). It would be symbolic because a year ago was the beginning of Steven's problems that unleashed his pink outburst, and now he's healing from his traumas and began a journey to discover himself.

After several calculations of days of the week and doing discard methods, the timeline looks like this:

The Movie:

Monday August 21, 2017 - Tuesday August 22, 2017

Little Homeschool:

Monday November 6, 2017

Guidance:

Saturday November 11, 2017

Rose Buds:

Sunday November 19, 2017

Volleyball:

Wednesday November 22, 2017

Bluebird:

Friday December 1, 2017

A Very Special Episode:

Tuesday December 5, 2017 - Thursday December 7, 2017

Snow Day:

Monday December 25, 2017 - Wednesday December 27, 2017

Why So Blue?:

Wednesday January 17, 2018

Little Graduation:

Wednesday February 28, 2018 - Thursday March 1, 2018

Prickly Pair:

Saturday June 2, 2018 - Monday June 4, 2018

In Dreams:

Saturday June 9, 2018 - Sunday June 10, 2018

Bismuth Casual:

Friday June 15, 2018

Together Forever:

Tuesday June 26, 2018

Growing Pains:

Wednesday June 27, 2018

Mr. Universe:

Friday June 29, 2018

Fragments:

Saturday June 30, 2018 - Wednesday July 4, 2018

Homeworld Bound:

Wednesday July 4, 2018 - Thursday July 5, 2018

Everything's Fine:

Thursday July 5, 2018

I Am My Monster:

Thursday July 5, 2018

The Future:

Sunday November 4, 2018 - Monday November 5, 2018

Well, this was the short version of the Steven Universe Future timeline post including the movie. I think the essential is understood. I'll leave the link to the long version at the end in the future.

More information:

Long Version

Spanish Version | Versión en Español

[cakepoppresent]

The Start of Something Great?

It's Summer Break!! Blair was able to secure a few campaigns for Xavier. She took him to Sol of Fashion to hash out the minor details for the campaign and make sure everything was to her liking. Xavier bored outta his mind decided to walk around

Finding a strange kid in a dark room Xavier tried introducing himself but the kid wasn't having it.

Xavier: Are you here alone?"

"..."

Xavier: I'm Xavier. I'm here with my mom Blair Reeves...Do you know her? She's pretty famous!

"..."

Xavier: I like your hat, your shoes are cool too

The silence doesn't deter Xavier. He hasn't met someone who didn't end up becoming his friend.

Xavier: My mom got me a photoshoot with Nike. I was supposed to do it with someone. Is that you?

"..."

Xavier: I really like your hat and shoes. Where did you get them? We should go out together

The strange kid finally breaks his silence "You really like my hat?

Xavier: Yea! I think it fits you really well. You should wear it during the photo shoot you would look so cool

???: Really?

Xavier: Of course, I never lie!

???: My mom says it makes me look silly

Xavier: Shes crazy. Respectfully.

???: She is crazy! She tries to take it off when I sleep!

Xavier: That's actually crazy! Is she here now?

???: No...I'm with my nanny. I didn't want to do this but my mom didn't listen. She said it's good if I "socialize". I /don't/ want to socialize! I wanna stay home!

Xavier: You're talking to me just fine!

???: ...you wouldn't stop talking

Xavier: Yeah well now we're friends now. Do the photoshoot with me! it will be fun!

???: I dunno...I hate being in front of the camera

Xavier: Don't think about the camera. Just look at me!

???: Look at you?

Xavier: Yeah! Act like it's just the two of us

???: That still seems scary! You don't even know me...

Xavier: That's fine just tell me your name now

Wayne thinks Xavier is a damn weirdo. He just wants peace "My name is Wayne...Wayne Alto"

Wayne: Wayne? We're friends now. Lets have dinner together! My mom would pay of course. Do you live in San My? I'm there for the summer but I'm trying to convince my mom to let me live with my siblings...

My god. Wayne thinks Xavier is never going to shut up

Xavier: Come! Let's find my mom

Xavier pulls Wayne along and they find Blair in the front lobby.

Xavier: Mom look! I made a new friend! This is Wayne Alto. He wants to have dinner with us (a lie he wants to go home)

Blair knows her son. He bulldozed his way into anything he wants

Wayne: Hi Mrs. Reeves

Blair: Xavier. Honey let Wayne speak for himself. Should I talk to your guardian? Would you like to come with us for dinner?

Xavier: Of course he does! We are FRIENDS

Wayne: It's fine Mrs. Reeves. I would like to come

Xavier: See! Friends have dinner together. Alright! Since we are friends we need a handshake!

Wayne: A handshake?

Xavier: Duh? Just follow my lead!

Cute sheinagins ensue. Xavier is loud and talks too much but Wayne likes it. He usually likes being alone but Xavier can be an exception

[aroaceconfessions]

CW: mentions of shame & a panic attack

I finally accepted myself as ace fairly recently. The summer before my first year of college I met my first ace person and I realized maybe it was okay if I didn’t want sex. I didn’t have to push myself to feel something I didn’t.

I was terrified because I had this image of college students being very sexual and I wasn’t sure how I would fit in. It was all the movies, tv shows, and my high school classmates talking about how they were going to get laid in college.

But I got half way through my first year of college before my classmates brought up the topic. There was no talk of sex anywhere before that. I thought I somehow managed to evade it.

And then my classmate/new friend asked if I would have sex with him and I deflated. My whole body protested at the thought. I got tense, I felt sick to my stomach, and I started shaking. I didn’t let on that it affected me. I talked like everything was fine for a bit and then excused myself because I felt my facade breaking. I couldn’t hold back how nauseous I felt. I had been holding back tears for fifteen minutes and my shaking hands were covered by my hoodie sleeves. I made up an excuse to go home and then broke down in the parking lot.

Sex was this thing that people talked about and I didn’t like it but I never had a physical reaction like that so I assumed I wasn’t sex repulsed. I didn’t realize that it wasn’t so black and white. That I could be not repulsed and just uncomfortable in some contexts and then have a more extreme reaction in others. I think I got used to my environment and how sex played a role and then I got thrown into college which was new and suddenly sex wasn’t this far away thing I was distanced from. It was here and I didn’t want it. I learned something about myself as I was sobbing in the parking lot, doing breathing exercises.

I haven’t talked about that day much with anyone except with my best friend a bit but not fully. I only told her what he said to me and that it upset me. I felt too much shame at how I reacted to fully talk about it with her at the time. I know it was okay for me to react how I did. It’s just that he shocked me and then I was shocked at myself.

Point is, if you get uncomfortable and panic, that’s okay. If you think you know everything about yourself and then learn something else, that’s okay. If you feel like your feelings on sex are different from the people around you, that’s okay.

I’m still on this journey too and I think I have a lot more to learn and I’m trying to be open to that.

(The guy has also made an effort to not be very explicit around me upon my request. That was difficult to ask for but worth it because my new friend group feels a lot safer for me now.)

Submitted June 19, 2023