#weird voicemail

[slowlystickynut]

HOW DID SOMEONE FIND MY PHONE NUMBER... WHO IS THIS MAN SENDING ME VOICEMAILS... SOMEONE GET HIM A DOCTOR?? HE SOUNDS IN PAIN... I PITY HIM, NEXT QUESTION LOVE, SLOWLYSTICKYNUT

[kurooangel]

which haikyuu boys would go crazy for a girl that LOVES to suck cock? and how would they react if she was eager to do it anytime he wanted head? :3

₊˚⊹  good girl .ᐟ

content: smut. timeskip!haikyuu. oral m!receiving. pet names.

featuring: oikawa toru 𖦹 tsukishima kei 𖦹 ushijima wakatoshi 𖦹 kozume kenma. ۶ৎ

AN: ahhhh I found this so hard to choose just a few. tysm for your req!!

★ oikawa toru .ᐟ

his mind goes wild when you run your tongue over his length. his eyes roll back and his hand goes immediately to your cheek to cup it while you look at him with those damn foxy eyes. he never felt so happy before, he has to recall on his mind the whole argentinian football team to not finish because it's way too much for him. you're so eager to take him in your mouth and he can't resist your pretty face, and after that, he's all yours. messi, dibu martínez, shit im going to cum, julian álvarez...

★ tsukishima kei .ᐟ

he gets so cocky when you suck his dick, especially because of how much you want to do it. he loves to tease you, but deep down, he is at your mercy. of course, you'll never know that. "such a good girl. c'mon, take a bit more of my dick" tsuki says, husky voice as he pulls your hair and sinks his hardness a bit deeper inside your mouth. your swollen lips surrounding his dick as your tongue circles around it while your split runs down your chin. it's the best feeling of your life.

★ ushijima wakatoshi .ᐟ

he gulps when you start kissing his abs. is a thing he got used to with the time, but at first, at the beginning of your intimacy together, surprised him. you're always so eager to have him in your mouth, and he groans when you finally take him. the warmth of your mouth surrounding his hardness while he caresses your hair and mumbles praises for you. he gets so lost in pleasure when you're sucking his dick, just as you. your eyes are blank and you moan against his cock, vibrations making it twist and grow harder in your mouth. he'll never get tired.

★ kozume kenma .ᐟ

he is focused on his game, but he cannot resist your pretty eyes pleading for him to let you suck his dick. "I swear I won't be loud, you won't even notice I'm under your desk" you whine, already kneeling down and between his legs. he sighs and nods, a small smile in his face. "fine" he groans when you lick all his length, from the base to the tip, biting his lower lip as he caresses your cheek.

[hcneymooners]

hey pretty

this is lowkey weird but i graduate today and i don't really have anyone to tell and i just want to feel like i told at least SOMEONE, so yeah

you're the chosen one ig

love u girl

my baby!!! i am so proud of you sweetheart. congratulations & thank you for telling me. i know you looked absolutely beautiful and i hope you know that you are so loved by me.

cheering you on, baby. hope you have a good day. love you most. 🤍🤍🍾

[corvidaedream]

not to take my landlord's side, but like. the property management company he contracted loooves to ignore us for hours and then when im like "hey the emergency im calling about could be a legal problem or damage the building" they go "we've been trying to contact ur landlord sowwy this is out of our hands :("

and he'll show up and be like "hi whats up, they called me for the first time 15 minutes ago." and fixes it immediately.

like he's always so nice and competent and im like. their asses were NOT trying to get in contact with you and also what are you paying them for if they dont... manage... the property?

[druidgroves]

found out a few days ago my nana ended up in the hospital with something that was making her very dehydrated & messing with her diabetes but she may get to go home tomorrow 🩷

[nintendont2502]

genuinely disturbing how much im seeing people say something along the lines of "i asked chatgpt and it said [x y z]" lately,,, what the fuck are you doing

[byanyan]

off to have a (very belated) birthday dinner so... i'm gonna just post the one thing i managed to write between all the silly things last night lmao

[never-not-ever]

"Hi, would you like a bit of counseling time? I'm available. ☺️ Peter"

Got that text from some number on the other side of the country, figured it was scam and was like lol, now scam artists are offering therapy.

[slowlystickynut]

THIS FREAK IS BACK! SOMEONE CALL THE CLERGY! SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN ACTIVE. ON THIS WEBSITE. I HAVE BEEN LIVING IT UP IN MIAMI. I WILL POST MORE ONCE I AM BACK FROM MY AWESOME MULTI-MONTH VACATION WHERE THERE IS NO INTERNET. THAT'S RIGHT. I'M IN THE SWAMP. WITH NO TECHNOLOGY. BE BACK IN A JIFFY, TUMBLIANS!!! LOVE, SLOWLYSTICKYNUT

[kurooangel]

PLEASE MAKE SOMETHING SMUTTY WITH SAKUSA KIYOOMI🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😖

݁₊ ⊹ . freakiyoomi .ᐟ ⭑

ᯓ warnings ᡣ𐭩 smut. mdni. timeskip haikyuu. spitting. f!reader. dry humping. spanking. smacks with dick. balls slamming. biting. pet names. he calls reader a slut (twice)

★ kiyoomi has a soft spot for your panties. he just loves making you wait and crave for him while he can cum just rubbing against your covered core.

his fist is holding his cock while he thrusts in it, his length grinding against your soaked panties with each movement of his hips. the wet fabric against his dick as his hand works on him as well feels like heaven. your whines begging for him to just put it in making his resolve to start breaking. "just wait a bit longer, honey" sakusa growls, and you know he is enjoying himself. after hearing you complain, he finally puts it in, but not inside your cunt. he makes you flip so you're on four, your back immediately arching as your butt presses back against his dick, missing his touch. he puts his cock inside your panties and starts thrusting in them. the liquid dripping from his rosy tip staining the fabric more and more with each push of his hips, head throwing back as his body surrenders with pleasure.

omi's hips move back and his size leaves your underwear, making you whine. but it's suddenly replaced by a loud gasp when he rips out your panties, the loud sound of the fabric breaking making your walls to clench around nothing. he strokes his cock a few times before slapping your ass with it, making wet sounds with each smack.

sakusa slips it between your asscheeks, and his big hands push them together, fucking your rumps. "holly s-sshit!" he slams his hand against your rear, a red mark of his palm laying on your flesh as he presses them together again. "I fucking love your ass, honey." he spits on it, using it as lube. his balls slamming against your cunt, making you arch your back and lifting your ass beneath his callous hands. he growls and leans forward, bending over to kiss your neck and bite your shoulder roughly. he keeps dragging you back as he pushes his hips forward, mercilessly. he moans, loudly and needy as he speeds up the pace, his short nails digging further into the fat of your ass as he mutters all kind of praises against your earlobe as he gets closer. "fucking gorgeous woman, I absolutely love this perfect ass of yours. that's it, keep moaning as the little slut you are." his moans get louder against your ear and one of your hand reaches to tangle your fingers in his black hair, making him get closer to your face. his lips find your cheek sloppily, messy and open-mouthed kisses until he finds your lips. it's a wild kiss, absolutely not control or order in it — which is a lot to ask for someone like him. but that's your effect on sakusa: you break him. he moans into your mouth and his grip on your asscheeks get rougher, firmer. with that tight grip, he finally reaches his ecstasy, amounts of cum being spilled on your arched back. he pulls slightly away, looking at you through his lidded eye while he pants heavily. "lemme get in that pussy of yours, honey. lemme feel that slutty pussy" how could you deny him in his desperate state, when you're so damn needy for him as well?

a/n: i love this man so, so much. ty for the request! sorry for taking so long, I hope you liked it :( <3

[schaeferlusaque]

I hate google voice assistant more than words can say

[naturesgender]

my ex from like 6 years ago just called my mom trying to get in touch with me??????????

[carnage-cathedral]

grrrrr voicemail

[just-in-cays]

.

[quillvice]

very immature of me but sometimes I want to quit this job just because the needy clients will call and address me By Name and it's like... don't refer to me

[kurooangel]

I need this trend with any of the Haikyuu boys desperately 😩😩😩😩 please write it queen 🤞🏾

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTYwY9swU/

₊˚⊹  slim pickins .ᐟ

featuring: kuroo tetsuro ★ miya atsumu ★ miya osamu ★ ushijima wakatoshi ★ bokuto kotaro ★

content: fluff. timeskip haikyuu. f!reader. masterlist.

a/n: I loveeee this trend so I had to take this request!! tysm! <3

★ kuroo tetsuro ── ۶ৎ

both of you were laying on bed while you're watching tik tok. laying on his broad, toned chest, this trend appears while he's scrolling. "baby we have to do it" he says, an smirk on his face while he keeps caressing your waist. "I mean, look at your man. are you really going to waste this opportunity?"

that's how he drags you out of the bed and, without putting a shirt on, he starts recording. he is behind you and caresses your hips and waist before lifting you up like you were as light as a feather. he hoists you on his shoulders while you giggle and the video finishes. "tetsu, put me down!" you laugh.

★ miya atsumu ── ۶ৎ

he is the one who asks you to do it. "please, please, cmon gorgeous." he says, brown and pleading eyes locked with yours. you roll your eyes amused, but finally agree. "fine, but put a shirt on" you get up and he nods, eager to do this trend with you.

when both of you are ready, he doesn't wait until the first second of the video, as soon as it starts, he lifts you in his arms. first bridal style and then he hoists you on his shoulders before flexing his big biceps and finish the tik tok. he kisses your thigh before looking up at you and wink. "it's perfect, doll"

★ miya osamu ── ۶ৎ

he arches an eyebrow when you show him the tik tok trend. "i'm cooking right now, sweetheart" 'samu gives you a quick apologising smile. "c'mon 'samu, it'll be quick" he can't resist those pretty, pleading eyes of yours and he finally gives in.

"so I just have to... lift you?" you nod and place both of you before placing your phone as well. you start recording and sabrina's song starts playing. he takes off his black cap, runs a hand through his dark hair and lifts you up easily, hoisting you on his shoulder and giving a soft smile to you through the camera. he kisses your thigh and gives you your phone so you can stop recording.

★ ushijima wakatoshi ── ۶ৎ

he shook his head when you show him, and when he saw your pout, he finally spoke. "what if you fall? or what if I can't lift you?" you arch your eyebrow, slightly shocked. "are you serious?" you say while you place the phone on the counter. "okay, maybe I can lift you, but what if you fall?" he insists. "well, I trust those big arms to catch me if I fall, 'toshi. now c'mere"

with a sigh, he gets up and stays still behind you while you click on the song and starts recording. he waits until you nod and grips your waist tightly before lifting you up quickly, hoisting you on his shoulders. a sigh leaves his mouth and you stop the video after that. when he puts you down, you can't help but peck him. "see? I didn't fall, but maybe I fell for you a bit more"

★ bokuto kotaro ── ۶ৎ

he was amazed at this trend. it was his opportunity to flex about you, his precious girlfriend, and how much of a good man he was for you. "baby, look at this!" he rushed in the living room, where you were watching a movie. you chuckled and agreed to do it, so he turned on the lights and placed the phone on the table, making sure both of you were on the phone's frame. after that, he started recording.

the song starts playing and bokuto has a big, big smile on his face. he kisses your cheek and lifts you up like you were simba from the lion king before hosting you on his shoulders. he flexes his biceps and clapped at himself ahead of stop recording.