#well done Bridgerton you can truly do it all

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

I didn’t realise that getting fingered in a cab on the way home from a night out while “Give Me Everything” by Pitbull plays in the background could be so romantic.

[burnthoneydrops]

Language of Flowers (b.b. x fem!reader)

pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: classism, use of "miss" and "y/n", stubborn mc

a/n: class differences in historical fiction have my heart and what better man to write them for than benedict! hope you enjoy and requests are open!

pt.2

For all your years helping run your family’s flower shop, you could not remember a day as memorable as this. You were in the back of the shop, cutting stems and bunching bundles of similar flowers together when you heard your little sister gasp from her spot in the doorway. Though gentlemen callers were not entirely uncommon, as flowers were a typical house gift when men went to call on their chosen lady, this one seemed to have caught her by surprise. 

“Who’s there Abigail?” you asked without turning around. “Abigail?” you asked again when she did not respond. It only took one look at the familiar chestnut head of hair to understand why your sister had gone as silent as Mayfair during the ton’s visits to the country. There stood a Bridgerton. Abigail had been obsessed with them ever since she got one of the printer apprentices to give her a copy of the gossip column the ton had been infatuated with. Anything that was ever written about them, Abigail had saved and regaled you when you were both in bed after a day’s work.  

“Y/N! I believe your expertise might be required,” your father called from the front of the shop, where he stood with parchment and a pencil, jotting down people’s requests. 

Abigail had not moved from her spot in the doorway, effectively blocking you out. “Abigail, I need to get through,” you waved a hand in front of her face but she did not move. She was utterly and entirely captivated, so you resorted to picking her up by her waist and moving her to the side. The perks of her being your little sister meant that moving her came easier to you than moving you did to her. 

“I was summoned?” You looked at your father who nodded at the man standing in front of him. “Yes sir, how can I help you today?” 

“I am here to buy flowers for a lady-” 

“What a novelty,” you muttered under your breath, glancing at the sheet your father had been working on moments before. 

“Pardon?” The man asked, clearly not expecting to be cut off in such a manner. 

“Apologies, good sir, you were saying?” 

“I am buying flowers for a lady. You see, my brother has crossed his wife and wants to apologise, but has no time for such an errand so he has sent me-” “He has truly no space to make time for apologising to his wife?” You interrupted again. 

“Do you interrupt every customer in this manner?” 

“Only the ones with ridiculous stories,” you countered. 

“I can assure you, despite how ridiculous it might sound, I speak nothing but the truth,” he looked at you, hoping you would change your mind. When you said nothing, he continued, “Now, I mentioned to your father earlier that I would like to gather flowers that mean an apology or makes it clear that the sender knows they have done some wrong-” “Ah, so you are keen on the language of flowers? I take it this has happened before then?” You interrupted yet again, raising a brow. 

“Apologies for my sister, my lord, she has been working long hours lately,” your older sister Jeanine stepped in. She gave you a harsh look as she finished her sentence, nonverbally telling you to scoot out of the way. You huffed and pushed the sheet of paper with the man’s order on it towards her before making your way to the back of the shop to finish the arrangements from before. 

It took Abigail no time at all to meet you back there, desperate to know how your interaction went. When you disappointed her with the fact that you had absolutely no thrilling news to report back, she smacked your arm and grabbed some flowers from the vases in the corner, complaining that you should have done a better job. 

“Well perhaps if he was not exactly like all other men who enter this shop then I would have something interesting to share with you,” you responded, grabbing some baby’s breath to add in. 

Jeanine came to greet you both with the sheet of parchment in hand, “something with an apology and sorrow but also suggesting forgiveness,” she muttered, looking at the selection in front of her. 

“White roses, forget-me-nots, and pink tulips,” you commented without looking at her. 

“If only you could do your job that easily in front of the customers”. 

“If the customers were not all so alike and insufferable perhaps I could”. 

“That poor Bridgerton did nothing to you and you know it,” Jeanine tried. 

“He irked me, is that not enough?” 

“Not when we are trying to keep a business afloat, no,” Jeanine replied as she stepped back onto the main floor to have Mr. Bridgerton pick the colour of ribbon with which the bouquet would be tied together. “Now there you are Mr. Bridgerton, and if I could grab a first name to keep our records in order and for possible future transactions?” Jeanine asked as she handed over the bouquet. 

“Do I truly look so similar to my brothers that you cannot tell us apart?” Mr. Bridgerton jested, at least you hoped he was jesting. 

“It is that arrogance that irritates me to be sure,” you muttered to Abigail. 

“It is merely a formality my lord,” Jeanine laughed lightly as she looked at him expectantly. 

“Benedict then, Benedict Bridgerton,” he placed the pound notes on the counter and picked up the bouquet, wishing Jeanine a pleasant day before scurrying away. 

So the annoyance finally had a name.

A few days had passed, and it felt like you had pushed the interaction successfully out of your mind, when the universe decided to spite you once again. You had already been at the front of the shop this morning, but you wished to do nothing other than sink to the floor or send one of your sisters in your place. 

“So we meet again,” Benedict announced, overly joyful.

“Well you did just walk into the shop my family happens to own-”

“I was hoping to make your acquaintance once again-” “At least one of us seems happy about it,” you conversed over each other, making it appear as if the dialogue had no point of breath. 

“I firstly wished to inform you that the flowers worked wonders and greatly aided my brother in his apology-” “Wonderful, now if that is all there is quite the queue forming behind you-”

“And that I have a plan to get you to change your mind,” Benedict finished his thought and it struck you silent. You must have done two or three big, slow blinks before what he said fully sank in, leaving you only more confused. “I must say, it is much easier to think when you are not constantly fighting back at me,” he smiled and you wanted to reach over the counter and smack that smile clean off his face. 

“Change my mind? On the flowers? I thought you said they were a great success?” 

“Oh no, not about the flowers,” he waved his finger back and forth in front of you, “about me”. 

“About you?” You questioned with raised brows, a scoff of disbelief escaping past your lips. 

“Yes. I noticed the other day we left off on quite the wrong foot and I would like to change your mind”. 

“And why do you think that is Mr. Bridgerton?” you bent your elbows a little and leaned closer into him from your spot over the counter. 

“Well I was not entirely sure, but I figured if I could get 10 minutes alone with you, your opinion of me would be much improved”. 

“Has anyone ever told you they do not like you Mr. Bridgerton? Has anyone, especially someone below your status, been honest enough with you to display how they truly feel about you? You might consider that notion and find the root of our problem there. I know you do not care much for your high society Mr. Bridgerton,” you noticed his ears prick up, so to quickly shut him down, “and do not think too deeply about my knowing of you for Lady Whistledown has printed much more than I cared to know, but as soon as someone is off with you, you suddenly become interested. Your ego is much too inflated to reason with the fact that some people just might not like you, present company included, and you cannot stand it”. 

Now it was Benedict’s turn to blink slowly, as your speech had halted all his energy to a standstill. “Good day, Mr. Bridgerton,” you shooed him out of the shop with your hand, waving forward the next customer who had been waiting very awkwardly a few paces behind this encounter. You sighed deeply, mentally resetting yourself back to your more demure customer service appearance.

Mr. Bridgerton had not been back for at least two weeks, not that you were counting of course, and though you claimed you were not thinking about him, you hated to admit how much that man had taken of your mental space. It did not help that Abigail was insistent that you two were fated to meet again somehow, even though you had explicitly told her you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. Jeanine was upset that you had lost a valuable customer, but the money that he could have possibly brought in was the last thing on your mind. The season was usually a high reward time for your family’s shop anyway, you were sure one lord would not be such a loss. 

On an afternoon that felt uncomfortably reminiscent of your first meeting, the bell above the front door rang as you were arranging a bouquet in the back. Abigail gasped from her spot in the doorway, and you did not even want to turn around and guess what caught her breath this time. “Oh my god,” Jeanine muttered, joining Abigail in the doorway as a pair of frantic feet made their way to your father at the counter. “Good afternoon, I should like to ask for a moment alone with Miss Y/N”. 

You nearly dropped the flowers in your hands and stood staring at the wall while the heads of both your sisters whipped around to look at you, mouths dropped and eyes wide. Your father did not really know how to comprehend the situation, to be honest none of you did, but one nod from him and Abigail was grabbing the flowers out of your hands while Jeanine pushed you forward through the entryway. Your feet were cement, standing in front of the man that definitely had not been occupying your mind for days on end, his arms stuffed with different boxes and trinkets. 

As if taking advantage of the silence, Benedict started, “I come bearing gifts. It occurred to me that I had no idea what your preferences were and with the safe answer of flowers obviously gone I got,” he dropped some of the goods on the counter, “these”. There were chocolates and pieces of jewellery and perfumes and accessories. You stared in awe at the collection before you, admiring the beauty of them all before you snapped back into reality. Benedict Bridgerton had come to spoil you in an attempt to win you over and you could not stand for it. 

“If you think gifts are going to magically change my mind then you are-” 

“Oh they are not for you. Well not exclusively anyway, I believed some of them to be for your family”. 

It took your sisters absolutely no time at all to rush over to the counter, rummaging through all the items present and claiming their picks before your mother and father came to join you on either side. With a quick scolding from your mother and a muttered thank you to Benedict, your sisters were off, resuming their position in the doorway. “I hope I am not interrupting any major, I just wished to spend the afternoon with your daughter,” Benedict glanced between your parents, silently asking for permission. 

“Well I do not see why not,” your mother replied, putting a hand on your shoulder. 

“Mother!” You hissed, surprised she would respond in the affirmative so quickly. 

“What? It is not like you get out of here much anyway!” Your father piped up, making you tilt your chin down in embarrassment and kick his shin under the counter. Benedict stifled a laugh, and you could sense his eyes on you as you kept your head down. “The pleasure is all yours,” your father looked at Benedict as he and your mother stepped back, laughing between themselves. 

“I figured a walk would do us both some good,” Benedict put his hands behind his back as you looked up at him, suddenly very aware of how much he towered over you. 

“What makes you think I have the time to just step out and walk around with you? In case you were not aware, I am currently working-” 

“Oh for god’s sake! Just go!” Jeanine yelled from the back, her and Abigail having given the two of you some privacy. You huffed, crossing your arms in front of you and mentally squaring up Benedict before rolling your eyes. “I suppose one afternoon wouldn’t hurt, but if you try anything I swear-” His hands shot up in defence, “You have my word, nothing nefarious will take place. I simply want to walk”. 

“A walk it is then,” you nodded, making your way around the counter and into the main section of the shop. 

“I promise, you will not regret this,” Benedict commented, clearly happy with himself as he opened the door for you to walk through. 

“Let’s not go making promises we’re not certain we can keep”. 

“I feel pretty certain about this one”. 

[infictionalwonderland]

Hiii, not sure if your requests are open so feel free to ignore this, but could you do Eloise Bridgerton with a fem! royal! reader who is completely smitten with Eloise and is very open about being a lesbian? And her family supports her (shes Queen Charlottes favorite niece)

(they are open! and absolutely i can do this for you babe x)

“She’s here!”

The Queen, your aunt, rolled her eyes fondly at you as you scuttled away hastily—a secret smile pulling at her lips at the sheer happiness on your face.

You waded through the mass of people in the ballroom, a smile practically stretching from ear to ear. Some turned to look and curled their lips in disgust at you, knowing very well who you were walking to. Others looked at the raw joy on your face and smiled with you.

You stopped a bit away from your girl and her family, taking the time to admire her. Her hair was in a ponytail of curls with two pulled out the side and her fringe framing her face—lips a soft ruby and skin sparkling under the light. She was dressed in a soft mint green dress, a delicate necklace adorning her neck and resting on her chest, her arms covered with long gloves.

(You were in love)

“Ah.” Daphne spoke first, as she saw you. Her lips curled into a secret smirk, clasping onto her husbands arm and hiding her face half behind his bicep to conceal herself.

Simon looked down at her fondly, eyes practically glimmering.

“Hello Bridgertons.” You beamed genuinely, all the family returning your expression with equal truth.

As you had done her, Eloise could not help but stare at you in awe. Your skin looked glowy and wonderfully soft under the lightening, your smile the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen—eyes squinted with the force of it. Your dress was otherworldly, although to her, anything you wore would be and she just wanted to run her fingers through your hair.

“How do you all find yourself fairing tonight?”

“Yes, yes, very good. Blah—blah.” Benedict immediately waved the question away with an easygoing smile, gently taking his sisters arm and pushing her towards you. “We know which Bridgerton you are truly here fo.” He rolled his eyes playfully.

Eloise flustered, unused to such attention but you smirked back at Benedict. The whole family watched with smiles on their faces as their stone cold Eloise who detested marriage and had no true belief in love, melted against you as you took her hand, staring at you with wonder in her eyes.

“I’m beginning to realise it was never love she loathed—“ Anthony mumbled to Kate at his side, “just men.”

“Yes, and who can fault her that?” Kate questioned, head tilted.

All smiles, you looped your arm through Eloise’s and the both of you gracefully walked off—well, you glided effortlessly, from years of training and Eloise’s steps were harsh and careless against the floor, an endearing sense of her own unique grace about her.

“How are you today, Miss Bridgerton?” You smiled at her cheekily, eyes twinkling in a way that immediately disarmed her.

“I—yes, I am quite well, thank you.” Eloise stumbled, a fluttering feeling settling deep within her stomach, heart spiking as she was unable to look away from your eyes. “And yourself, your—your grace?”

“I could be your grace if you would like.” You emphasised pointedly, a mischievously sweetened smile curving at lips. You snatched a flute of alcohol from a passing servers platter, daintily looking into the eyes of the woman you admired.

She gulped slightly, a charmed blush warming her skin.

“I’ve had a genial day so far, my lady.” You giggled softly. “Although it has become all the more enjoyable when graced with your wondrous presence.”

“I can say much the same for myself.” Eloise rushed out genuinely, a smile at her lips as your eyes sparkled in response. “I find being in your proximity a most precious experience.”

“Perhaps you should venture in closer,” you offered almost offhandedly, taking another sip from your flute as you observed her, “you discover that to be an even more precious time.”

Eloise laughed a tad too loudly, nerves escaping her, but—with a timid smirk curving into her plush mouth, she edged closer towards you.

“And?” You encouraged amusedly, smiling.

“I—Your presence is even more powerful from here.” She grinned crookedly, “perhaps a tad too powerful—“ she joked, moving to take a teasing few paces away.

Your gloved hand caught her own and you both breathed in sharper at the contact. Without taking your eyes from hers, you traced almost absently on the silk material and she shallowly breathed in, feeling the sensations of your touch as though they were against her bare skin.

“Stay close, please.” You simply stated, tugging her back towards you gently. “If you would like.”

“I would like very much.”

You raised an amused eyebrow at her immediate reply and she battled back embarrassment as she made direct eye contact you, unabashed in the truth of her words.

“Your Grace, you look enchanting tonight.” Eloise complimented truthfully, admiring you. “I am only disheartened I have to share this awe-inspiring view with others.”

“You could admire me further in private, if you simply ask to do so.” You shrugged, a smirk on your lips.

Eloise blinked innocently, narrowing her eyes (cutely) as she attempted to recognise the hidden meaning—your words and tone making her feel warm all over.

She was about to open her mouth to adhere to your request when another approached.

“Your Grace,” a well dressed man you did not know walked to you both, bowing to you deeply while staring. “Lady Bridgerton.” He shortly acknowledged.

“It is indeed a pleasure.” Eloise muttered with a tight, bitter smile as she stepped closer to you—feeling dismay at how this man was staring at you.

“Quite.” He agreed, still gazing at you. “It has come to my attentions that your dance card is still empty, Your Grace—“

“Is it?” You interrupted, tilting your head innocently. “Allow me.” You implored to him, holding you hand out for his quill that a man was required to bring, to scribe on a lady’s dance card.

He blinked, a smirk crawling to rest on his mouth as he wielded to you his quill. You took it and immediately turned to Eloise, who grinned crookedly at you when you extended your wrist to her with the man’s quill.

The gent sputtered and flailed usefully in your peripherals but you could frankly give less of a shirt—staring at Eloise as she gently clasped your wrist in her hand, writing hurriedly onto your dance card with a triumphant grin upon her lips.

Fuck. You wanted to kiss her.

“This—this is hardly—“

“Enough? I do quite agree.” You aunt announced as she made her rare appearance on the ballroom floor, glowering superiorly at this unknown man. “I will organise more dances for you and your beloved. Now, shoo, shoo.” She turned to you, ushering you to the floor as a new dance began, a secret wink shot at you.

You and Eloise clasped hands, running away and towards the rest of the couples, giggling like children as you left the treacherous man with your darling aunt.

“You are a marvel.” Eloise laughed out softly, cheeks burning with joy, eyes crinkled as you stood across from one another—curtsying to each other. “I could not have asked for a better partner—in well, everything.”

“Oh, El.” You beamed, an enamoured giggle leaving your throat. “Believe me, it is I who is the lucky one.”

“Rubbish.” She rolled her eyes playfully, “never had I envisioned, even in my wildest fantasies, that—that I could. . would feel this way for another. But, you have invoked such—such emotion in me, it is almost a miracle.” Eloise laughed sheepishly. “You are not only angel in beauty and mind alike, you are also a miracle worker. . Are you not simply all a woman could ever want?”

“If you insist, Lady Bridgerton—“ You grinned widely, shrugging playfully at her.

You both laughed together, garnering sneers and smiles alike, although none of it was noticed. Lost in your own little bubble, hearts and butterflies practically fluttering around the pair of you.

In a spur of the moment, you decided to break from the traditional dance, pulling Eloise impossibly close to you before twirling her out—her dress billowing: she yelped in shock before you were both laughing giddily, others on the dance floor stumbling in bewilderment.

All eyes were on you both but you could not care, did not notice. You spun Eloise around before twirling her back to your front, swinging her playfully as she laughed loudly and you grinned uncontrollably down at her.

The sudden lack of chatter caused your shared laughter to slowly die out, looking about only to realise all eyes were on you both.

People blinked owlishly at the pair of you and you could feel Eloise begin to tense defensively before a sharp whistling erupted—followed by whoops and claps.

Everyone turned to see Benedict, fingers to his lips as he whistled uproariously. Kate was whooping and cheering happily, smiling ear to ear and Anthony, arm around her waist, was following her lead. Violet was politely clapping, a barely noticeable sheen of happy tears at her eyes at seeing her daughter to happy—Lady Danbury at her side, was applauding wholeheartedly as well. Colin was grinning, cheering—Penelope at his side was similarly expressing. Daphne and Simon were clapping loudly: The Queen, back on her platform, was engaging in a secret applause of her own, concealing her smile with Brimsley at her back doing the same.

Eloise and You blinked.

“Yes, yes!” Eloise snapped over the cheering, concealing her own smile and touched emotions. “We are quite besotted, thank you all for noticing, if you could return to your prior engagements that would sincerely appreciated.” She shouted, glaring at everyone.

The people of the ton twitched and blinked and fumbled in fear of the Bridgerton girl, returning to what they were doing—some sneaking looks back at you both.

When Eloise turned back to you in a pouty huff, you were beaming at her, mischief in your eyes.

“Besotted—?”

“Shut up!”

As your combined laughs echoed beautifully once again, all the Bridgertons and their extended family traded genuine smiles.

Their Eloise was incredibly happy, so it seemed: as were you.

[captainsophiestark]

Bad Timing

Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: Bridgerton

Day 25 Prompt: "Do I look like I knew that?"

Summary: When Eloise needs help with a problem, she knows she can count on her brother and his new wife for help.

Word Count: 1,047

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"You know, lazy days like this are by far my favorite," I mused, curling into my husband's side as we laid in bed together. "No galas, no gossip from the Ton. Just the two of us."

"I certainly have to agree," said Benedict, my husband, as he traced patterns on the bare skin of my back. "Although, I do enjoy watching Colin wade through the swarm of Mamas every time we go out, now that he is the only unwed Bridgerton son. At least until Gregory gets a bit older."

"I'd say you were being mean, but he did ditch you and Anthony for quite a while in his travels."

"Yes, he did. So he deserves this."

I laughed, shaking my head a bit at my husband's antics. A moment later, he pulled me tighter to his side, rolling us so I laid completely on top of his chest. I rose up on my elbows to meet his eyes and found him looking at me with a mischevious smile.

"You know, it's just occurred to me," he started. "There are quite a few ways I can think of that our time would be better spent than talking about my brother."

"Oh really?" I asked, grinning and leaning down closer to Benedict. "And what might those ideas be?"

"Well for starters..."

With that, he brought his hand up to the back of my neck and pulled me into a searing kiss. I rested all my weight on him, kissing right back, until a knock at the door jarred us both out of the moment.

Reluctantly, I pulled away, and Benedict let me. We shared a look.

"Maybe whoever it is will go away if we ignore them," he whispered in suggestion. As if he'd willed it into happening, a voice from the other side of the door called out.

"Y/N! If you're in there, please, I need to talk to you."

Eloise. Benedict's little sister, who I'd become close with throughout the course of Benedict courting me. I gave Benedict an apologetic look.

"No," he whined as I rolled off of him, quickly wrapping a robe around myself and heading for the door.

"I have to," I replied. "I can't ignore her. Make yourself decent."

With that, I turned from my husband and went to open the door just wide enough to see Eloise on the other side, and for her to see me.

"Oh, thank goodness!" she cried, moving to push past me and into the room. I let her, just hoping that Benedict had done as I'd said. Eloise and I had done this a few times as we'd gotten closer, and whenever it happened, I knew she really, truly needed me.

I turned around to follow Eloise back into the room after shutting the door behind me, only to find her frozen just a few steps from where she'd come in. Benedict stood next to the bed, looking tired but resigned to our new morning activity as he laced up his shirt.

"Good morning, Eloise," he said, a little edge of teasing in his tone. "You know, I was trying to enjoy the morning with my wife-"

"Do I look like I knew that?" she cried. I fought back a laugh as I walked forward to wrap my arm around her shoulder.

"It's alright, Eloise," I said. "Benedict and I were about to get up for the morning, anyway."

Benedict shot me a look with his eyebrows almost into his hairline, and I glared right back, imploring him to go along with me. He cleared his throat.

"Right. That we were. What did you need help with, sister?"

She hesitated, so I walked around to face her, putting both of my hands on her shoulders and blocking her eyeline to Benedict. I gave her a small smile, so she'd know everything was alright, then spoke in a low voice that I knew Benedict wouldn't be able to hear.

"If this is a ladies' problem, or one you don't want your brother to know about, El, I'll throw him out of here right now and we can talk, alright? But if you're embarrassed about knocking when you did, then you truly don't need to be. We love you, and we'd both drop far more important things to help you whenever you need it."

Eloise sighed, nodding a little as she did. The bright red blush that had risen to her cheeks started to fade, and she at last met my eyes again.

"Thank you. I... suppose it wouldn't hurt to have Benedict's input as well," she said. I nodded, giving her a bright smile before turning around to face my husband.

"Put your problem-solving hat on, Benedict," I said. I started drifting for the couches by Benedict's turret window, one of my favorite features of his room. "We've got a family matter to deal with."

They both beamed at me as they started following me over to the couch. I'd considered a few of Benedict's siblings as good as family for a long time now, but it felt amazing to be able to say that and have it be completely true.

Benedict and Eloise settled into the couch on either side of me, Benedict resting his arm across my shoulders. Those kinds of casual touches would've been scandalous before we were married, but now we could do them whenever we wanted to, which also made my heart sing.

Eloise gave us both one last look with a raised eyebrow, then launched into her explanation of the problem that had brought her to our doorstep, which had something to do with a boy of virtually no social status who'd caught her attention. Benedict and I spent the rest of the morning, helping her as best we could, in the way only we could.

Although I hated that Eloise had to deal with the problems she dealt with, a small part of me sang the entire morning as Benedict and I worked together, the perfect team, to help his little sister. This was going to be the rest of our lives, with Eloise and maybe someday with children of our own, and I couldn't be happier thinking about that future with Benedict. We made the perfect team.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

[dragon-kazansky]

Bridgerton shade of blue

Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader

Benedict bumps into you, quite literally, at a ball while trying to escape his mother's attempts to find him a partner. You decide to humour him with a dance, not realising just how entwined you would become with him. It seems the universe will find every excuse to push you and Benedict together, no matter how much you fight it.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Season one

Chapter Eight - Sparkling diamond

♡♡♡

Benedict joined his sister, Eloise, out in the garden again long after the other had gone to bed. She was smoking on the swing like last time.

As Benedict takes a seat on the opposite swing, she passes him the cigarette. He takes it.

"I found bits of your sketchbook in the fireplace," Eloise says.

"Are you spying on me now?"

"You'd actually have to be interesting for me to bother spying on you," she chuckles.

"The drawings in that sketchbook were abominable," he says firmly. "I could not stand to look at them."

"I believe that is why they call it a sketchbook." Eloise looks at them. "I write in my diary, which is not the same as wiring in my novel."

Benedict chuckles.

"It must be very difficult to want something and not be able to get it."

"Eloise..."

"If you enjoy drawing but need practise, then practise," she goes on. "Hire a drawing master. Find a young lady to act impressed."

You cross his mind. However, he doesn't want you to act impressed. He wants you to be impressed by his work. Genuinely so.

"If you desire the sun and the moon, all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky. Some of us cannot.

"Look no further than Lady Whistledown. She possesses a huge talent for writing, and yet she must hide away and publish under a false name."

"Yes, because if anyone knew who Whistledown truly was, she'd be strung up for what she said," Benedict states.

"That is not my point. Whistledown is a woman, therefore she has nothing, and still she writes. You're a man, therefore you have everything. You are able to do whatever you want. So do it. Be bold."

Eloise envies her brothers.

"At least that way I can live vicariously through you." She rises to leave.

"Eloise... are you Lady Whistledown?" Benedict asks.

Eloise laughs.

"You're an accomplished writer, always scribbling in that diary of yours. You certainly know everyone else's business. You have more opinions than anyone else I know in London. You would have my full support and admiration either way, sister."

Elosie laughs again.

"So... is it you?"

"No." She looks at him. "Though if it were... do you honestly think that I'd admit it?"

Elosie heads back inside.

Benedict is left with his thoughts.

♡♡♡

The ballroom was elegantly designed. Soft shades to light up the room. You find yourself without a dance partner, however.

Prince Friedrich was in the middle of a dance with Cressida Cowper.

The duke was standing sternly off to the side with Lady Danbury. They appeared to be talking quietly, though judging by the stern faces, it was not a pleasant conversation.

You find yourself gently, and you admire the room. Benedict wasn't here. You couldn't see him at all.

That is not to say you had gone unnoticed. You glance to your left and find a perfectly suitable gentleman looking your way. You smile softly and turn your gaze away.

Tactics of flirtation were not completely out of your power.

Before anyone could make a move, however, the doors at the top of the stairs opened. It wasn't so much the doors that caught everyones attention, more like who had come through them.

You swear you all breath left you when your eyes landed on Daphne coming down the stairs with her mother. She was wearing the most beautiful silver gown you had ever seen, and her hair was beautifully done. She looked like, well, a princess.

In her hand was a feather fan. It went beautifully with her attire. She began to descend the stairs.

All eyes were on her.

Prince Friedrich was at the bottom of the stairs. Not once did he look away. You watch with interest as Daphne gets closer, closer, and closer to him.

The prince leaves Cressida's side to meet Daphne at the bottom stair.

The duke does not move.

Daphne stops.

"Miss Bridgerton, I simply musylt have your first dance." He speaks to her softly.

"It would be an honour, your highness." She curtsies.

A moment passes between them, and then you watch as Daphne drops her fan. Just like that, the prince kneels down to pick it up.

The prince kneeled.

You don't even realise the soft gasp you let out as you watch.

Prince Friedrich offers her the fan, and she takes it. She smiles at him and then gives the fun to her mother as she takes the prince hand.

They dance.

The duke leaves. Though he turns back to look at Daphne before he goes.

In the words of Lady Whistledown, why settle for a duke when one can have a prince?

♡♡♡

The invitation to attend the boxing match came from Anthony Bridgerton. You were rather pleasantly surprised by his invitation.

Anthony apparently needed some help to keep his mother quiet about finding a wife for himself.

You laughed.

You follow the siblings until they reach the prince. He approaches Daphne, but greets you, also. You curtsy.

Anthony then offers you his arm. "Shall we?"

You chuckle and take it, allowing him to lead you over to some seats. As you settle, you turn to the eldest Bridgerton.

"Where are you brothers?" You ask.

"My brothers? Currently talking to one of the fighters." He gestures to the edge of the ring where you spot Colin and Benedict.

You don't even notice you're smiling.

"You and my brother seem to have grown rather close." Anthony points out, looking at you.

"I can assure you there is nothing untoward. Your brother is my friend, as are you all now." You smile at him.

Anthony chuckles.

"Benedict seems to have a lot on his mind at the moment. I am not one to get in the way of someone's business."

"Smart woman," Anthony chuckles.

You nudge his arm lightly and wait for the fight to begin.

As the match is announced to begin, the other brothers find their way to you and Anthony. Benedict looks rather surprised to see you. "I had no idea you were attending."

"Your brother invited me to keep your mother off his back. It seems that is all I'm good for." You chuckle.

"No true, but appreciated none the less," Benedict comments.

You smile, and he takes the empty seat beside you. It does not go unnoticed that you keep your arm looped with Anthony's. He doesn't comment on it.

The fight is intense. You gasp with every hard punch. The men around you cheer on their victor.

You had never witnessed such a match before, and you would be lying if you said you were not somewhat into it.

As the crowd stands, you stand with them and cheer along with the Bridgerton brothers. William Mondrich was their friend, and he was putting up hell of a good fight.

Benedict finds it amusing how excited you seem to be.

Mondrich wins!

You cheer along with the brothers. You laugh at the excitement. It was a thrilling match, indeed.

Anthony helps you down from your seat and speaks close to your ear so you can hear him. "We're off to collect our winnings. I shall see to it you get home right after."

You nod and thank him. As he leaves to fetch his earrings, Benedict turns to you.

"Did you enjoy that?"

You chuckle. "I did. Surprisingly."

"I must say, I did not expect to see you in attendance."

"I am full of surprises."

Benedict looks at you quietly for a moment. "Yes. You are."

You smile and look away. However, his gaze lingers on you for a bit.

Later, the Bridgertons see to it that you get home safely before they head off to the club. A place for the gentlemen only.

Anthony helps you up into the carriage and thanks you for humouring him today. Yo return the gesture and wave as the carriage leaves.

Colin has to nudge Benedict out of his thoughts.

♡♡♡

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[murdockparker]

Roses and Regrets Part 2

Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

Summary: What a pleasant life it is, to be a widow with no obligations. Getting new dresses, making unlikely friends, what a treat.

Word Count: 3.9k

Rating: 18+!!! MINORS DNI (I will haunt you)

Warnings: female masturbation, yearning, Reader decidedly hates Anthony (what's new??) , maybe a bit of angst

A/N: oops my hands slipped and this is what happened. sorry bout that, bruv!

first part - next part

—

“You should have seen him, Meg.”

Her lady’s maid nodded along to Lady Barlow’s rant, having heard the interaction in nauseam since she returned from the park. From his appearance to his demeanor—Meg assumed she might as well have been there. Carefully, she continued to remove the pins from the dowager viscountess’ hair, the very same that she had placed in the morning. 

“I am sure Lord Bridgerton was certainly unagreeable,” Meg droned, accidentally snagging her lady’s hair. “Sorry, ma’am.”

“You know, you don’t have to do all that, I am a perfectly capable woman,” (Y/N) laughed, looking at her maid in the mirror. “And he was, unagreeable, if you must know.”

“He is alway unagreeable,” Meg said, exasperated. “My lady, please take no offense, but I think this talk of Lord Bridgerton must cease.”

“You do not have to ask me twice,” (Y/N) snorted. “I wish for nothing more than to stop speaking about that oaf.”

Meg blinked. “Right. Of course.”

“You… you do not believe me?”

“I believe you believe it to be true,” Meg carefully stated, hands by her sides. “We have a good friendship, ma’am, and I am ever grateful that you allow me to speak my mind—”

“So speak it,” (Y/N) said, voice tittering on a giggle. “I shall not take offense, I swear it.”

“You have done nothing but speak of Lord Bridgerton since you arrived from your visit to the park,” Meg began, choosing her words carefully. “Save for when you had your meals, hard to speak over soup and the like. I, for one, am exhausted hearing about it. Perhaps a respite from the topic?”

“Imagine how I feel,” (Y/N) finally laughed. “That man makes me insane.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I pray whenever he marries—oh that poor woman—I hope she can teach him some manners.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Perhaps I should send him a book on it? Manners, I mean.”

“Good idea, ma’am.”

“Meg, you are not hearing me.”

“Oh I am hearing you,” Meg nodded. “I am just choosing not to listen.”

She bit her lip, eyeing her friend’s faraway glance. Glassy, almost. “Perhaps… I suppose I should drop the topic for now?”

“It is late,” Meg shook her head, nearly dropping out of a trance. “I have mending to attend to, if you do not mind.”

“You hate the mending.”

“Picking and choosing my battles, ma’am,” Meg smiled politely. 

“Admirable,” (Y/N) said. “I suppose it is late…”

“Might I fetch you some more tea before you retire?” She set the last pin down amongst the vanity. Covered in expensive oils and products, it’s a wonder that anyone could find anything at all on the surface. Thank God Meg knew the contents like the back of her hand.

“No… I fear it will keep me up all night, but thank you, truly,” (Y/N) said. 

“Goodnight, my lady.”

And then, she was alone. 

Snuffing her candle, she hopped into her bed. Thankfully she never shared this one with Lord Barlow—that was reserved in the wing across the estate—leaving this bed untouched by such a soiled man. It was pleasantly plush and covered in endless pillows, she wondered if the royal princesses slept in beds as nice as this one—nicer, probably. More pillows, if she had to wager.

Sheets pulled up to her chin, eyes focused on the ceiling, she tried to chase sleep. Her mother had taught her a trick when she was young, imagining rabbits chasing around the room and counting those—perhaps it was sheep? Regardless, she tried counting. She only made it to twenty nine before flipping onto her side, exasperated by the count. 

Sleep never came.

The covers melted off of her body in an instant, floating over to her door to ensure it was locked. Quietly, oh-so quietly, she turned the latch. No need for the staff to interrupt her… sleep. She hardly had to turn to such matters, but when exhaustion cycled her brain and not her body, leaving her tossing and turning all night, she really had no other choice. 

No other choice, she reminded herself. 

She laid on top of the covers this time, rabbits and sheep all but forgotten.

If there was to be one positive of marrying, it was the sheer fact that she was able to fully understand her body as a woman. While the marital act itself was entirely loathsome—a chore with Lord Barlow that happened infrequently during their marriage to try for an heir—the act of doing it alone? 

Why the idea alone just got her heart pounding. 

She never had anyone to teach her these things, her mother passed before her marriage, so there was no ‘wedding night talk’. Everything that Lady Barlow had learned was from her sheer will and determination—a chase for something she never quite knew she was racing towards. Her husband? He had never been any help. A few grunts and thrusts before he would spend himself inside, collapsing on top of her for the night. 

She refused to give her late husband much thought—not when her hands were on her breasts, one slinking lower to touch a more delicate area. 

No. She needed to focus her thinking on something else. Something to get the job done, send her to sleep sooner than later. 

The gentleman. The faceless one that she imagined in place of her own hands. It usually sped things along if she focused on a generally well-looking fellow and how he’d touch her instead of just chasing her own feelings with her fingertips. Saved her wrists a lot of pain too—occasionally she felt like she was back practicing her penmanship, writing lines all day with her governess—the ache was fairly similar. Although, one pain caused a higher embarrassment than the other.

Decidedly happy with her diversion of thought, she made quick work on the bottom of her nightdress and pulled it up to her stomach. (Y/N) had never the need to sleep with drawers, feeling a dress was more than enough. Besides, it gave her easy access on nights like tonight. Her fingers danced with her lower lips, already damp with arousal. 

She sighed at the first contact, the pure ecstasy of running her fingertips across her glistening folds. In her mind, he was doing this to her, the nameless man who wanted nothing more than to give her what she needed. With slow and tantalizing circles, she teased her clit, gasps leaving her lips involuntarily, her eyes rolling shut before she could even think. Her non-dominant hand continued to grasp at her breast, squeezing and rolling the flesh until she was utterly mindless. 

The climb was thrilling, it was suffocating and all encompassing. How she dreamed she could experience this with someone, feel this pleasure with another, both giving and taking exactly what the other needed. She groaned again, feeling herself getting closer to the edge, her circles faster now, the gentleman making good work on her neglected center. 

“Gods,” (Y/N) cried, trying her very best to keep her voice down. She didn’t need Meg inquiring about her, not when she was so worked up and so, so close.

And then… the fall. Everything was white and her heart felt like it was bound to beat out of her chest.     

Brown eyes.

As she fell into a peaceful slumber, for no reason in particular, she decided her faceless gentleman had brown eyes. 

—

Breaking her fast was usually rewarding, the chefs at Barlow Estate were some of the most talented in the ton—of course, only in her humble opinion, not that she had much to compare it to. When she first married Lord Barlow, having such fulfilling meals first thing in morning was almost worth marrying such an oaf. Almost.

“Did you have a good sleep, ma’am?” A butler asked, taking (Y/N)’s empty plate, replacing it with one full of fresh cut fruit.

“Oh!” Her face flushed. “Y-yes, James, of course. I always have a pleasant sleep.”

“You look well rested, ma’am,” he nodded.

“My lady,” Meg spoke up, gaining the attention of Lady Barlow from her fruit. “You have an appointment at the modiste early this afternoon.”

“I don’t recall making an appointment,” (Y/N) held her hand still, half of an apple tight in her grasp.

“I made the appointment, ma’am,” Meg said. “You are in need of new dresses—” 

“Is there something wrong with the way I dress?”

“Of course not,” Meg said quickly, her face growing slightly pink. “It is just, since the late Lord Barlow passed you have been in mourning attire—blacks, blues, the entire dreary ensemble. I figured it would be best to get dresses that suited more the colors of the season.”

“I am unsure if you noticed,” (Y/N) said, taking a small bite of her apple. She chewed it quickly. “But my dress today is green.”

“I did notice,” Meg nodded politely. “It is a lovely color, but perhaps a lighter blue would be nice? A purple?”

“Perhaps you should listen to her, ma’am,” James interjected. “The family account has not been used since after your wedding and the mourning attire—”

“And I can use that money elsewhere,” (Y/N) raised her brow. “I’m sure the new viscount will be pleased I am not blowing his money so frivolously, I do not see the need for new dresses.”

Meg sighed, giving James a trying look. He shrugged. “Humor me. Just one dress.”

“Fine. One dress."

Somehow, between the carriage ride to the modiste and the tailoring of a beautiful purple display piece, Lady (Y/N) Barlow was talked into three new dresses. A sharp pinprick to her left leg brought her back to her senses. 

“Oh! Lady Barlow, I do apologize,” Madame Delacroix said. “You must keep still as I pin your hems."

“I will try my best,” (Y/N) smiled, glancing down at the woman working hard on her new dress. “How fortunate the display dress you had fits so well.”

“Oui, how fortunate,” Madame Delacroix nodded. “A few pins and stitches and it will be perfect. And this color is very flattering—I am certain the men of the ton will turn their heads at this.”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. “I have no need to turn heads, Madame,” (Y/N) said curtly. “I am simply just refreshing my wardrobe.”

“Oh, no one has the need to turn heads, save for the young ladies,” Madame Delacroix giggled, it sounded almost fake, forced. “But my work will do that regardless, so do expect that Lady Barlow.”

“Joy,” (Y/N) sighed, tilting her head at her reflection. While it hadn’t been an extraordinarily long time since she debuted—a shake over three years at the most—she was no longer the young girl from her first season. Her curves have filled out, her features more defined, so this particular cut was suiting her just fine. Madame Delacroix was the best modiste for a reason, knowing just how to make the ladies of the ton sparkle.

The front door swung open, a sea of blue flooding in the entryway. “Ah, Lady Bridgerton, I shall be with you in a moment!” Madame Delacroix called out.

(Y/N) froze at the mere mention of the Bridgerton name.

“Take your time, Madame,” Lady Bridgerton cooed, practically shoving a book of fabrics in her daughter’s face. Eloise, (Y/N) recalls, the second eldest daughter of the brood. It was her first season. “We’ll be patient.”

“Shall I pull another dress, Lady Barlow?”

“No,” (Y/N) shook her head wildly. “I rather think I am finished for this afternoon. Please add the dresses to my account—”

“Lady Barlow,” Lady Bridgerton said kindly. “How lovely it is to see you.”

Fuck.

“Lady Bridgerton,” (Y/N) curtsied, feeling far too proper. “Likewise.”

“What a lovely color that is on you,” she said, eying the girl up and down. “I take it you are out of mourning then, yes?”

“Have been since the Danbury Ball,” (Y/N) nodded. “But I gather Lady Whistledown has already made that public knowledge.” 

Lady Bridgerton's cheeks flushed, like a child with their hand caught in the biscuit jar. “I cannot say that I find myself reading that gossip rag often, but—”

“Oh Mother,” Eloise groaned, looking up at the ceiling in frustration. “You read Whistledown just as often as I.”

“I do not blame you, Lady Bridgerton,” (Y/N) quickly added. The older woman’s shoulders relaxed. “For the many months I was in mourning and not socializing, Whistledown was my way I could keep up with everything. I very much would like to thank her, should I ever get the opportunity.”

“Yes, well,” Lady Bridgerton cleared her throat. “In any case, if you happen to be free tomorrow afternoon, would you like to join me for tea?”

“Tea?”

“I remember how it felt when—” she stopped herself, eyes becoming glassy. “Becoming a widow so suddenly is difficult. I would like to bestow my wisdom upon you if you’d allow it.”

“You are not quite old enough to be bestowing wisdom,” (Y/N) laughed lightly.

“I beg to differ,” Eloise mumbled.

“Flattery, Lady Barlow, will get you everywhere,” Lady Bridgerton smiled, elbowing her daughter lightly. “And you already have the invite, no need to lay it on so thick.”

“That is very kind of you, but—”

“So, shall we say noon tomorrow?”

The Bridgertons, as Lady Barlow gathered, were a difficult lot to say no to.

“Noon. Sounds perfect.”

—

It felt odd, being in the drawing room of Bridgerton House. She only ever had the fleeting thought that she’d ever sit here the once—ages ago during her first season. Now? Now she was sitting and drinking tea with Lady Bridgerton as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“You have a lovely home,” (Y/N) said, holding her teacup a little tighter than she should. 

“Thank you,” Lady Bridgerton said voice full of appreciation. “Tell me, Lady Barlow, how is your family?”

“My family?”

“Oh, forgive me for asking,” Lady Bridgerton clarified. “I just had realized that I know very little about you, you were only in the season for such a short time before you married. I figured your family was a good place to start.”

“No, no,” (Y/N) put the cup down. “I understand. Seeing as everyone knows about your family,” Lady Bridgerton chuckled at that, “I should only fill in some blank spaces, I suppose.”

The elder dowager nodded her head, tipping her cup at the younger widow to continue.

“No family, I’m afraid,” (Y/N) said, her voice wavering on sad. “Mother passed a few years before my debut, Father just last year. No siblings, so… just me I’m afraid.”

“Goodness,” Lady Bridgerton pressed a hand to her heart. “Your father and husband in the same year? I am truly sorry for your losses.”

“My mother was the true loss,” she said honestly, her voice practically lifting. “Kindest soul to grace this Earth, I mourn her every day. The others? I do not doubt anyone has missed them.”

“Lord Barlow,” Lady Bridgerton dropped a spoonful of sugar into her cup. “He was an odious man. When I had heard he had taken another wife—it was quite the story around the ton. I was beside myself.”

“I happen to be number three,” (Y/N) said matter-of-factly. “Number One and Two both died in childbirth, trying to give that man his beloved heir. Never worked out, and I cannot say I am crestfallen I never came to be with child, either. The new Lord Barlow is quite well suited for the role regardless, I am told, so I suppose it has worked out for the best.”

“Yes,” Lady Bridgerton had a small smile against her lips, “I can imagine so.”

“Does your son,” (Y/N) coughed, correcting herself, “Lord Bridgerton, does he know I am here for tea?”

“Oh my son is not always privy to my social calendar,” the older woman winked. “He is probably out galavanting and trying to find a wife.”

“A wife?”

“Oh, yes,” Lady Bridgerton nearly beamed. “Lord Bridgerton is finally looking to marry—even after all these years of begging him. Something just clicked last season, I suppose. Perhaps Daphne, the duchess, marrying finally gave him the right idea?”

(Y/N) nodded politely. “I’m sure you’re thrilled.”

“I only wish for the best for all eight of my children,” she nodded, “so seeing him look to marry makes me ever hopeful.” 

“Mhm,” (Y/N) sank into more of her cup, polishing it off.

The grand clock ticked away. 

“I apologize if this all makes you uncomfortable Lady Barlow,” Lady Bridgerton started. “It is just… when Edmund passed, I had my family and wonderful friends to support me. I figured, perhaps, having another friend would not be the worst thing?”

“Lady Bridgerton, you are very kind for checking in with me, and I very much appreciate this tea,” (Y/N) said honestly. She felt like she could jump out of her skin with anxiety, but tried her very best to keep it under control. “But… as you had alluded, it is no secret that Lord Barlow and I were not a love match. There is no need—”

“Being a widow is hard,” Lady Bridgerton cut her off. “It is rotten work and you feel like a shell of yourself, only having a title such as ours because of who we married and not in our own right. Tell me, do you plan on remarrying?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I am quite content with my life,” (Y/N) said thoughtfully. “Widows have all the freedom in the world, I am allowed many opportunities because of it—far more than when I was simply a little thing on the Marriage Mart.”

“I suppose that would be… correct,” Lady Bridgerton treaded lightly. “However, do you not wish for a family? The support of another?”

“It is not that I do not wish for a family,” (Y/N) said truthfully. “I am sure part of me does, but it is more the matter of everything that comes with it.”

“I could never imagine going about life alone,” Lady Bridgerton said. “After Edmund… I am just grateful my children were here to keep me sane, grounded, even.”

“Children can be a blessing…”

“But children,” Lady Bridgerton added quickly, “they are not for everyone. I hope you find happiness in whatever you need.”

“Thank you,” the young viscountess said sincerely. “You have such a wonderful life, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Violet,” she corrected. “Please, call me Violet.”

“Oh,” (Y/N)’s cheeks darkened. “Violet, then.”

“We are friends now, after all,” Violet smiled kindly, the kind of smile only a mother possessed. She waved for the tea to be replaced, a butler practically rushed to fulfill the viscountess’ request. “More tea?”

“I would love some more,” (Y/N) said, feeling lighter than air. Perhaps having a friend was a good step forward, a leap into the right direction.

The door to the drawing room slammed open.

“Mother, I just received our balance from the modiste and—”

Much like he owned the place—and in a way, he did—Lord Bridgerton took command of the less-than-quaint room and had all eye on him. His own eyes—his brown eyes—were trained solely on the widow sitting beside his mother, his mouth agape.

“Oh Anthony, you cannot just barge in here,” Violet scolded, “we have a guest.”

“I see that,” he seethed, shoving his hands behind his back in faux-decorum. “Lady Barlow.”

“Lord Bridgerton,” she nodded stiffly, not bothering to raise from her seat.

He ignored her, turning swiftly to his mother instead. “May I have a word alone with our guest, Mother?”

Feeling the tension in the room rise, Violet sighed, giving into her son’s request. “I believe I should check on the governess, anyhow,” Violet said, rising from her seated position. “Behave.”

Anthony brushed his mother’s whispered warning off, tilting his head to the staff, all leaving the room at his command. The door had barely clicked shut before he stepped forward. “Since when are you friends with my mother?”

“Since when do you care about who I spend my time with?”

“Since that company is my mother,” he said cooly. “I would have thought you were just so turned off by the Bridgerton name that you would ignore all of my family—”

“She is a nice woman,” (Y/N) rose, crossing her arms. “How you managed to turn out the way you have despite that is beyond me.”

“You are in my home,” Anthony pointed. “You insult my character and you dare try to befriend my mother?”

“Dare?” She laughed. “Am I not allowed to have friends?”

“Not with my mother,” he stepped towards her. 

“Your mother,” she smiled forcefully, “Violet, has been nothing but kind to me today. She was merely looking out for me—offered me some good advice.”

“Advice?” He laughed. “On what planet could someone many years your senior offer you helpful advice?”

“You could not settle with just insulting me, so you had to insult your own mother? She is not yet elderly—”

“Yet she is older than you,” he corrected, his cheeks pink from his mistake. “Do you not have friends your own age?”

“Do you not have something better to do?”

He huffed, squeezing his wrist in restraint. “I came here to speak with my mother—”

“Yet you shooed her out of the room and decided to speak to me instead,” she countered, stepping closer. “To insult me? To threaten me? Whichever, I suppose, I will never understand. I decided to take tea with Lady Bridgerton because she offered it—offered advice on being a widow, something you have already known about me.”

“I wouldn’t wish for her to hear our conversation, besides, her advice could not have been that helpful,” Anthony snorted. “My parents were in love, her trials of being a widow pales in comparison to your situation—”

“The one in which I also lost a husband? The sole definition of being a widow?” She said, her arms tight against her chest. “That situation?”

The grand clock—that damned grand clock—chimed in the uncomfortable silence, a new hour beginning.

“I may not have loved Lord Barlow,” she admitted. “He may not even have been a friend to me, but I still am a lady who has lost her husband—a lady who has so much as lost her way in this fucked world, a world where a woman cannot simply be without one. Your mother was simply being kind.”

“I did not mean…” Anthony’s posture softened, even just a bit, words caught in his throat.

“But you did,” she pointed. “If you hadn’t meant it, you wouldn’t have said it. My, Lord Bridgerton, you certainly have a way with words, much like you always have, it seems.”

“I beg your pardon?”

She looked at the clock. “I must take my leave. I am expected to be back home soon, the estate certainly cannot run itself, seeing as my husband,” she nearly spat the word, “has left it to my care. What a thoughtful man he was.”

“I—Lady Barlow,” Anthony started, unsure of where he was going with it. “Please accept my apologies.”

“Keep them,” she smiled. “They are nearly as useless as you are. Excuse me.” Lady Barlow opened the door with haste, nodding to the staff members who were waiting outside. Her lady’s maid, Meg, followed only a few steps behind her, her attention caught on the wounded viscount in blue.

Anthony practically dissolved into the arm chair, unsure of what to do next. He had half a mind to go to his study to drink, to pour over the invoices that had him enter this room in the first place. His interactions with Lady Barlow usually left him buzzing, his blood boiling and his ego only partially wounded. How he was left feeling so defeated was beyond him.

“A way with words?” He mumbled to himself. “I never wish to understand that woman.”

Yet, a part of him nearly screamed the opposite.

How peculiar.  

—

Roses and Regrets Tag List:

@creative-heart , @sunshineangel-reads

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[consoledacup]

Ode to the Street Scene

I really thought my favorite scene was the wedding dance. It cuts away to no one in the room, and my heart just swells from the romance. And that cheek caress at the end? Butterflies!

But every time I rewatch, I have to pause the show and just sit with certain beats of my actual favorite scene because I'm so overcome. The writing is so fantastically good. Verica's directing is perfect. The scoring is angsty and beautiful. And Luke and Nicola deliver incredible performances. The give-and-take of this fight is exceptional, and their chemistry is electric.

This confrontation is one that is years in the making. And as they fight, they address all of it. He's only known about her Whistledown identity for a short time, so this fight was always going to be incredibly heightened and passionate. But we also get so much truth in this exchange, too.

Colin's leaving the saddest stag party ever. I'm sure he also felt weirdly guilty for not being ecstatic about it. Especially because the three gentlemen with him witnessed Colin-heart eyes-Bridgerton not a week ago. So they notice something is wrong, and he really doesn't want to talk about it.

Penelope's leaving her good friend and business confidant. And I love the little hesitation Genevieve has before asking Penelope if she'd continue publishing. She adores Penelope and has been such a fantastic support for her. So although Penelope feels like she's unworthy of Colin after everything that has happened, Genevieve is steadfast in encouraging her to not give up a huge part of herself.

So they run into each other, and Colin is immediately furious. He is shocked to see her, his Pen, out alone at night. And then he's like, well, she's Whistledown. She was doing this all along, right under my nose, having a laugh. And Penelope can probably smell the alcohol on him and is fed up with being the bad guy at this point. So she bates him because good grief, can he just look at her??

And he immediately lays into her. I really love Luke's rhythmic delivery here:

After all of the secrets you have kept, all of the things you have written over the years, all of the damage you have done.

And I love how Penelope immediately takes responsibility and apologizes. Two people have found out about her identity prior to Colin. Genevieve needs no explanation for why Penelope did what she did. And Eloise is so heartbroken and betrayed and humiliated, she has no room for Penelope's motivations.

But as angry as Colin is, he listens. And they go through her past transgressions, point by point. He asks about Eloise, as the protective brother he is, and receives a somewhat satisfactory response.

And then he asks about Marina, and Penelope is essentially like, I was saving you. For White Knight Colin Bridgerton, that is almost too much for him to take. If we go back to that scene when Penelope tells Colin about George, she purposely leaves out her pregnancy. That was deliberate. She might've gotten dismissed by him and interrupted by Marina, but she was always going to lead with, "well, she has a lover back home." Because she was terrified Colin would mount his white horse and see it as his duty to rescue Marina all the same. As a 17-year-old girl, who had incredible power, she saw no choice but to manipulate his future. That was a bad move, and she knows it.

Which is why he's like, do you really have that little respect for me? Because he reveals what cuts him the most. Whistledown called him out, belittling him. And then he finds out that the most important person in his life, his entire world, wrote that about him. And is that truly how she feels about him when he thinks she hung the moon and stars?

And that's when this fight takes a turn as Penelope lays bare everything she loves about him. She was like, I missed you just like you missed me. Here's where I praise Nicola's rhythmic delivery:

It's you. Kind, feeling, occasionally excitable good-hearted man who I love.

Even the way she says "man who I love" is just so matter-of-fact. Of course she loves him. When is he gonna get that?

Every episode this season, we see Penelope subtly gain more and more confidence. Which is why this payoff is so delicious because she has finally developed the confidence, that he helped her find, to stand up to him.

So he takes that all in, and in an almost hopeful way, he's like, well, I helped you gain confidence, and you have me now, so you really don't need Whistledown, right? You don't need to be more powerful than me. And she's a little taken aback by his plea but stands her ground, patiently explaining why Whistledown is important. Which breaks his heart because he feels that, deep down, Penelope surpasses him in talent and ambition.

Remember their engagement party when Penelope and Eloise take turns answering the riddles? He is proud of Penelope, and he is concerned something is going on with her, but he is also, plainly, jealous. Anthony obviously steals the scene with his competitiveness, but you see Colin sitting up a little straighter, wanting to impress everyone else with his quick wit. And each time Penelope or Eloise get the answer right, he deflates a little. He's always known Penelope to be incredibly smart, but now that he's desperately in love with her, he is terrified that she doesn't see him as her intellectual equal. And his fears are confirmed when he finds out she's the sharpest tongue in the ton.

He's honest about how patronized he feels, thinking about her hyping up his journal. His eyes are welling up because good god, he does not understand why she just won't choose him over Whistledown. And he chooses that moment to assert his physical dominance and join her on the step so he towers over her. He goes for broke, berating her for her carelessness, and she's not having it.

And this interplay between Luke and Nicola is like a perfect volley:

I have been careful.

You have been foolish.

Colin, I can take care of myself.

Then what good am I to you?!

And Penelope just snaps. She tells him she loves him which snaps him out of his spiral, and they finally allow their passion for each other to take over. And their physicality shows how relieved they feel in each others' embrace. Their kiss is like coming home, and they're like, thank GOD you want me like I still want you.

They're not thinking much else, but I do wonder if Colin in the back of his mind is like, she may not need my brain or my protection, and I have no title, and I can only provide her a townhome, but by god, I can give her pleasure. I think it says something that Colin's go-to move is his hands. He wants to bring her to ecstasy as expediently as possible, finding his own pleasure in hers.

Thankfully, they are interrupted because they really don't need another scandal. They were debauching each other in the street! That is an absolutely wild thing for them to do, and Colin has enough wherewithal to keep her shielded, quickly falling into his coveted protector role.

He holds her hand and walks her to her carriage. Their goodbye is tense, but he assures her that she doesn't have to worry about him. He will be at the church on time. He is still choosing a life with her, and is, of sound mind and body, intentionally entering into a union with Lady Whistledown. And then he watches her carriage leave.

Perfect, heartbreaking, passionate, angsty, emotional, sexy, honest, cathartic, electric, romantic scene from start to finish.

[moirindeclermont]

This is a new episode of "all Polin first times we didn't see" and these is a mix of stuff, including at least one request.

It's after Pen has giving birth, some months have already passes but Colin feels inspired that afternoon. He can't read, can't write, all he can think about is how much his gorgeous wife is looking absolutely ethereal in the new dressing gown - blue Bridgerton of course.

But he knows that Pen would look even better naked. So with that goal in mind, he closes the door of the studio in which both him and Pen are working at the moment. No distractions allowed. The baby is in safe hands at the moment and they have a couple of hours before dinner. He'd love to have more time for what he has in mind but it will do.

Pen now follows his eyes with interest, and when Colin is now in her space, she gets up. Colin very carefully proceed to put everything in order until the desk is empty. Then, he methodically removes her dress, stay and camisole until she is naked. He kisses her deeply before lifting her up (Pen does squee in surprise at this) and puts her on the desk.

He remains dressed, because he is not important right now. It's all about her. His Goddess. He kisses her again, and then he explores every inch of her body with his fingers. The lips, the curve of her neck, her back, her gorgeous thighs, her absolutely breathtaking breast - even more now that she is feeding their son - where her nipples are already leaking. He has plan for those buds, but before he needs to go down on her stomach.

When he is there, he kisses her womb. He murmurs a prayer in thanks because she is safe and healthy as well as their son, before going back up with his lips, catching her nipples along the way. The looks at her, a question in his eyes but Pen knows already and trust him with her life so she nods, and Colin start to suck. He is surprised that her milk is warm - but more than anything, he marvels at women and particularly Pen, because what she did with their son is nothing short of a miracle.

These couple of hours are just about her. After she is wriggling for the emotion and the arousal his actions are causing her, he goes on his knees to taste his absolution. He opens her legs to make space for him and firstly he kisses her all around, before truly eating her with lips and tongue until she cries out loud and make him feel like a giant for making her feel so much pleasure.

When he knows she is close, he aids her with his fingers, like he did in the carriage and during their first time, until she is coming loudly. But he is now done. Nit even close. He wait for her to calm down, before starting repeating the same cycle. All over again. A second time. A third time. By the fourth she is collapsed on the desk, can't move, can't think, she can only feel. And when she comes that time, he gets flooded by her sacred juices, re-baptized in her name.

It's sinful to think as much but he can't help himself. He comes untouched in that moment, in his breeches, and he cleans her up wit his tie, before redressing her.

"What about you?" She asks and those are the first words beside moans she has spoken since they have started. Colin looks at her "it was not about me" but he agrees that she can do it to him too one day. In the end, every Goddess needs her own God.

What is a first you want me to write about them? (And if you want to play a game, how many first did I include?)

[springseasonie]

Two worlds apart Pt. 2 | JJH (M)

Prince Jaehyun x maid fem reader, arranged marriage trope, forbidden love trope

Part 1.

Summary: reckless decisions always have a bittersweet ending.

Warnings: sexual content, some fluff, lots of angst, penetrative sex, oral (fem receiving), standing sex, unprotected, praising, possessive Jaehyun, pregnancy, he's a munch 🤭, angst, bittersweet ending, bridgerton esque, historically inaccurate, story takes place within a couple of weeks it's kinda fast ik I'm sorry

Word count: 17k

Song recs: promise by laufey, how does it make you feel by Victoria Monet

A/n: awkwardly laughs...hey guys its taken me too long to write this and it's not even that great but I'm satisfied so pls enjoy it sorry for the wait Ilya 🤍 feedback is love and appreciated as always 🤍🤍

Jaehyun was practically chasing Rose down the corridor as she walked fast trying to get away from him, shoes clicking on the shiny marble floor. "Rose, please-"

"I don't want to speak to you," she said, gripping her gown tighter as she pulled it from the floor as she walked.

Jaehyun quickly caught up to her, taking her arm in his hands. She quickly snatched it out of his grasp, giving him a nasty glare. Jaehyun had never been looked at that way, and she could tell by the way his face twisted into an offended expression. Rose had not only found out about him leaving her alone to be with you the night prior, but also about him sleeping with you. She knew what she was getting herself into, but she didn't know how draining it could be. It's only been a couple of days, but time is running out as each second passes.

"I said I don't want to speak to you. I don't even want to look at you," she spat, face still and cold as ice.

"Well I don't care what you want," the prince snapped. "I don't want this. I never asked for this."

"And you think I did." Her voice rang out through the halls, her anger bouncing off the stained glass windows. By this point, any and everyone in the castle knew very well about the details of Jaehyun's affair. "All I asked from you is to at least bed me before you went and live whatever fantasies you had with that wench-"

"Don't you dare call her that." Jaehyun's voice lowered as he stared down at the princess, a dangerous glint in his eyes. But Rose isn't known to be the kind of woman to back down. She's scared of no one, not even her parents.

Rose turned around, facing him fully in all his anger. His ears were red, jaw clenched as he stared down at her icy exterior. "Wench, whore, prostitute. Whatever she is, I do not care. If she shows signs of being with child in the next couple of months, you can expect her to be outside of my castle."

"This is my castle. You are on my land in my country and she will not be going anywhere," he declared, but all Rose did was laugh in his face.

"I am your princess, your queen, your wife. I will do as I please in these walls. All I want is an heir and we will be done with this nonsense," she says. Rose quickly turns and walks away, butler tailing her as she quickly removes herself from the situation.

All Jaehyun could do was let out an exasperated sigh in the middle of the hall. He knew she shouldn't go to you, but that's all he could think of. You were the only person who could comfort him at the moment, and he needed to see you, and so he will. So against his better judgment he trudged down the hall, butler following behind him closely to keep his pace.

"Prince, you mustn't act recklessly," his butler said, keeping a close eye on him.

"And why not," Jaehyun snaps, running down the marble staircase. "Rose hasn't even been here for 30 days and is already irking my nerves."

"My grace, I understand that you're angry now, but-"

The prince turned around, annoyed and jaw clenching at the conversation. "If I can't have anything else in this world, at least let me have my anger." Jaehyun knew that even after saying that, it would never happen. Nothing ever truly belonged to him. Everything belonged to the crown. The only thing that would ever be his was the air he breathed, but was that even his? He never felt like it, not when his mother and father have been telling him what and how to do anything since he was born.

Jaehyun knew his life would never truly be his. His family, his love, his legacy would never be his, but one thing he could say was that you were his. And you wanted to be his, and if either one of you wanted that, he would have to fight for it in any way that he could. Jaehyun was serious about loving you, he always has been. He would give up anything and everything to be by your side forever.

"My prince, your mother is very worried about you," his butler spoke. "She says you've been more careless than usual."

"Well that's the kind of thing that happens when you lie to your children." The two walked through the second largest corridor of the property towards the main kitchen. Jaehyun knew you'd be in there at this time. You had the same schedule almost everyday, not that he had memorized it (he definitely did).

Jaehyun barged into the kitchen, startling everyone, forcing them to turn to the door. Like always, the group of people, including yourself bowed or curtsey towards him and his butler.

"Your grace," everyone greeted in unison.

Jaehyun shot everyone a small smile, bowing slightly when his eyes caught you in the back of the room. You had been avoiding him since the night of the ball. Everything in him regretted what he did knowing that you didn't want to be his mistress. But unfortunately, he didn't feel completely guilty. You avoided his very obvious gaze, looking elsewhere in the room in an attempt to silently tell him to leave you be, but of course it did not work.

"Everyone step outside please," he said, a deep voice rushing through the room. The staff started to scurry, not wanting to face the prince's volatile anger. They could all tell that he was on edge, not in the right mind. You followed behind everyone, trying to hide, but Jaehyun is very perceptive.

"Except for you."

You looked up, his round deep brown eyes looking down at you cold, as if you were in trouble. And you were constantly running away from him anytime he was near. Jaehyun let the rest of the castle staff out, pulling you aside. His butler followed the staff, stepping out, but standing in front of the door making sure no one else came in.

His broad frame turned to you, folding his hands at his waist as he spoke. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"You grace, I have not been avoiding you," you answer calmly. You were not in the mood to speak to him or anyone else for that matter. Having to work so closely with his wife has been mentally tormenting you enough, you didn't want to add more to the list.

"Y/N, you have been avoiding me since the ball," he said, squinting his eyes at your formal speech.

"I have not. I've been busy. I, too, have responsibilities," you retort.

Jaehyun sighed, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He was about to become angry, and when he got angry, he had a tendency to yell. He did not want to yell at you however, so he had to reign his anger back.

"I know you have been avoiding me. Tell me why, and I will not take no for an answer."

You were taken back by his assertiveness. Jaehyun had ever spoken to you this way, almost as if he was demanding you to speak. You stared up at him, giving him a dry laugh before scoffing. He knew exactly why you were avoiding him, and anyone else of power for that matter.

"Don't you dare scoff at me. I am your king-"

"You are a prince. And you did not care when you abandoned your wife during a ball to bed me," you snapped.

"It was on a wall."

"Nevertheless," you continued, "you did the very thing I asked you not to do. I do not want to be your mistress. I do not want to be pregnant. If I cannot have all of you, I will not have you. Jaehyun, please understand that this is for the both of us."

"Y/N, I love you, and there is no one, especially you, who could make me stop." And he meant every word. Never in a million years would he ever let anyone talk to him the way you just did, but it didn't even register in his brain to be upset. Not when you stood there, food all over your apron, flour on your cute angry face.

You watched his hardened face begin to soften, realizing your words weren't getting through to him. He really did love you, and would be willing to do anything to keep you with him, and that scared you. Everyone knows how reckless and impulsive he is, and you did not want to be the reason for his impulsivity. With a heavy sigh, you shook your head as you looked at your feet.

"I'm scared," you confess.

"Of what?"

"If I am actually pregnant before the princess, I don't know what will become of me," you say.

"Nothing," he declared. "Nothing will become of you. I will protect you with my life, and I mean it."

"I don't need you to do that. What I need is space Jaehyun. I need you to give me as much space as we can get in this Castle." You watched his expression drop, sadness filling his eyes. He knew you were serious and didn't want to be apart from you for more than he could take, so for now he will agree, but not for long.

"Fine," he said, nodding. "I understand. But I need you to understand something also."

"And what is that?"

"I am your prince, and this is my castle." Jaehyun began to close the distance between the both of you, making you take steps back until you hit the counter. "You work for me, and any other royal under this roof, which means if I call for you, you must oblige."

"But Jaehyun, that's-"

"Do not question your prince." His body was dangerously close to yours, nose almost touching yours as he spoke. "You will do as I ask, understood?"

Jaehyun's lips ghosted above yours, trying so hard to not kiss you where you stood. His hands were folded behind his back as he breathed heavily. The tension was pressing on both of your chest, Jaehyun could feel your shaky breaths fanning on his face as you gulped. You could tell him a million times you didn't want him, but he knew that deep down, you wanted him. You needed him as much as he needed you.

He couldn't take the teasing anymore, eyes drooping as he stared down at your lips. Jaehyun didn't want to tell you, but he couldn't stop thinking about you since the night of the ball. Your body, your face, your voice. He didn't need to tell you though. Jaehyun is easy to read. The way he would stare at you when he caught a glimpse of you working, he would practically tear your clothes off with his eyes.

"I-I understand," you answered.

"Good. Now kiss me."

You locked your lips with his desperately, kissing him like your life depended on it. Jaehyun took his hands from behind his back, and placed them on your waist. Jaehyun pulled you close to him, mouth still on yours in a heated kiss. The feeling of your lips on his started to stir inside him, wanting to go further than just a kiss. He moved from your mouth to your jaw, kissing your face softly as you let your eyes flutter shut. Your hand moved to his cheek, cupping it softly.

"J-Jaehyun," you sigh softly.

That was almost enough to make him snap, but he held back and you could feel it in how hard he gripped your sides. "Just a little more Y/N. God, I've missed you so much." Jaehyun kisses down your neck, back to your face and on your lips. You moaned softly against his mouth, pushing him closer and closer to his limit. "You're killing me," he whined softly.

You missed his hands on you. You knew you wanted him all to yourself, and maybe you were being selfish at the moment indulging in his self destructive behaviors, but you needed him just one last time. You needed to feel his lips on yours, to know that he loves you and that he really did care.

"S-stop, we can't continue," you said against his lips. You were saying one thing, but your body told another story. You were leaning into him, holding him like you didn't want to let him go.

"Just a little more." He was now half hard under his pants. Jaehyun couldn't control himself when it came to you. You had so much power over him, and he secretly loved it.

"No, you have to go. Duties to tend to. And I have to tend to the kitchen."

Jaehyun finally let up, planting one more kiss before painfully pulling his entire body from you. You were the prettiest flustered mess he's ever seen. All he did was kiss you, but you were breathing heavily, blinking profusely. He couldn't help but stand there, smiling smugly to himself as he watched you attempt to gather yourself.

"I love you."

You looked up from your feet, Jaehyun's voice rattling you. There it was again, his sweet words coupled with his pretty face that always made your heart beat out your chest. You nodded, choosing to not respond to him.

"That was the last time Jaehyun. I mean it," you declared sternly.

He was still smiling to himself, nodding as you spoke. The both of you knew it wasn't going to be the last time, but he went along with what you said regardless.

"You agree, but you're not taking me seriously. I mean it Jaehyun," you repeated. "Now leave. We've been here for far too long."

"Of course, my lady. I will take my leave." He turned on his heels, walking towards the door. Before he left he turned to you, to say one more thing. "I will give you your space, but I want you to know that no matter what, I love you and will protect you at all cost."

"I understand," you sighed. "Now go, my prince."

You watched him walk out of the door, already feeling a longing for him. You knew it would probably be hard, but what you didn't know was that Jaehyun was going to make it near impossible.

Nothing between Jaehyun and Rose seemed to be getting better, and the staff in the castle are beginning to notice much more than before. Jaehyun leaves the castle a lot more often while Rose invites the women of the ton around more often. Being one of her main staff, you unfortunately had to be there with her and her constant complaints, like right now. 

You poured everyone's tea, making it just like how they all requested it as they sat around you, conversing about things you never cared about. Jewels, food, parties, whatever it was rich people did. None of it mattered to you. It's not like you could ever love that kind of life, no matter how much you wanted to. You were merely a maid, an old one at that. 

"So what exactly is it like being with the prince," Lady Clarke questioned, sipping her tea. Of course she wanted to know, all of the women wanted to know so they could gossip about it once they left. 

"Well, it's.." Rose paused. She had nothing positive to say. Her and Jaehyun practically lived separate lives, separate bedrooms, separate staff; they were split but together. "It's a bit of a handful, but he's delightful."

You sensed the strain in her voice when complimenting him, along with her eyes being into your soul. You were the only one blocking her blessings, but it wasn't your fault. Being very aware of her resentment towards you for failing to end things with him the night of their ball, you constantly tried to remain as far from her as possible. However, Jaehyun insisted you help her on this day almost as if he was trying to torment her with your presence. You had no idea what he was thinking, but it couldn't be anything good.  

"Your majesty, I'm sure you can give us more than that," Lady Webster chimed, making everyone laugh softly except for Rose. 

You rolled your eyes watching the show in front of you. The ton's attempt at trying to be secretive about their body questions was annoying to you. You wanted very well to tune out of the conversation until you heard one thing. 

"I heard there was a rumor of him having a mistress," another woman said. 

Your ears piped along with Rose's body stiffening at the topic. She glanced at you quickly, going unnoticed by the other women but not by you. The glint of envy and anger in her eyes will never go away, not as long as her husband's heart remains with you. You knew she didn't want him to love her, but sometimes you wondered if she wasn't completely true in her intentions with him. Rose had always been used to being the center of attention, princess or not. It was strange for her not to be the center of his attention. 

"Well, I know nothing of such a thing," Rose responded with a fake laugh.

The women of the ton laughed with her uncomfortably, giving each other worried glances. The room began to get stuffy, uncomfortable energy filling the space as they all went silent. You stood in the corner of the room, looking at the ground, because you knew you couldn't handle your facial expressions. 

"W-well, it's only a rumor. I have no idea where it came from. It's most likely not true," she said. 

"I mean, did you think it was true?" The princess's ice glare often scared whoever it landed on. She was beautiful and gracious, but never one to mess with. She wouldn't give you a second before out casting you. 

"P-princess, of course I don't think it's true," the woman backtracked. "In fact, I think it's horrible. My grace having a mistress? Simply tasteless." 

"I agree," Rose said, taking a sip of her tea. "Having a mistress is nothing new, but…" she looked at you, eyes meeting yours as she spoke. "Any woman who allows such things must be a whore, and I hate whores."

At this point, you were feeling a feeling you've never felt before. Was it guilt? Was it embarrassment? You didn't know, but your heart was beating out of your chest, anger rising the more she spoke. 

"The prince is better than what some people think. He would never be so low to be in relations with a mere maid or commoner. He's too good for them." 

Her words cut through your cool demeanor, a slight wince showing on your face as you kept your head down. You never wanted to admit it, but she was right. Jaehyun was way too good for you. The both of you were too different, which made it all the more difficult for him to leave you. Since the night of the ball, you couldn't stop thinking about what could become of you if you really were going to have a child. In a different universe, they would just force you to marry him. But here, you would be thrown out of the castle before he even knew about his illegitimate children. Suddenly, the call of your name snapped you out of your own head. 

"Y/N, dear, will you take these to the kitchen? I feel our friends here are finished drinking," Rose said with her perfect, pretty, fake smile. 

"Of course, you grace." Quickly, you grabbed everything, placing it on the tray on the table. Carefully you lifted the tray, making your way out the large bright room. 

All you wanted on this trip to the Castle's kitchen was to make it there quickly and undisturbed. However, your secret lover had other plans. As if he planned it, Jaehyun, his butler, and one of their staff turned the corner, walking the opposite direction of you.

Once he caught a glimpse of you, his stone cold face warmed up a bit, a smirk tugging on his lips. You looked elsewhere trying to avoid eye contact. You said you needed space from him, so why does he have to be everywhere? And why do you want to go wherever he's going? 

You walked a bit faster, trying to get past him and his staff when you tripped over your own feet. The cups on the tray rattled, porcelain threatening to tip over as you attempted to catch yourself and the metal tray. 

"Bailey, please help her," Jaehyun said, motioning his arm to you. His butler did as he said, rushing to your aid. Bailey took the tray from your hands carefully, temporarily relieving you of the stress of carrying it. 

"Hello," Jaehyun said to you, hands clasped behind his back. 

"Your grace." You curtseyed, glancing up at him to see an amused look on his face. 

"I sensed there was a lady who needed help so, here I am," he joked, but you remained serious. You knew why he came. It was simply to see you, to irk you, to speak to you. You already knew he wasn't going to take your words seriously but you didn't think he would disregard them in a couple of days. 

The both of you stood silently, you were more awkward than him, until he spoke. "I need you to help me with something," he said, tilting his head to the side a bit. 

"Yes, my grace, of course, but i-"

"Don't worry about Rose, I already sent someone else to help." Just at that moment, another maid walked past quickly going into the room with all the ladies. 

You looked at him, eyes narrowing as he gave you that smug look you could never stand. If I call for you, you must oblige. You could curse him for those words, but unfortunately you weren't in private. "I understand your grace but-"

"I'm sorry," he chuckled dryly. Jaehyun took a small step closer to you followed by his guard, looking down at you with glossy eyes. He loves this "game" he thinks he's playing with you. The push and pull, tug of war. "Are you telling your prince no?" 

"Your grace-" 

"You know you shouldn't disobey your prince." Jaehyun spoke in a low, soft way, his tone gentle as he watched you. You were really trying to hold your own in this silent battle between you and him, but the way his tongue slips out against his lips, wetting them slightly is making your mind reel. He was so close, too close. You could hear his breathing and the way he looked at you made you feel like he was going to pounce on you. Unfortunately, you wanted him too. 

Your heart was starting to Beat out of your chest, hands becoming clammy as you looked up at him. You gulped, pinching your lips together. 

"So," he said, eyes darting to your lips. "You will come with me and help, yes?" 

"Yes my grace."

"Good. At 6, Bailey will come get you, understood?" 

"Yes my grace."

"Good. See you then."

-

Jaehyun crashed his lips onto yours, hands traveling all over your body, nothing but your slip keeping your skin from contact. His big hands groped every inch of you, arms wrapping around your body encasing you in his strength.

"Jaehyun, please slow down," you whine softly, eyes closed and brows furrowed as he kissed down your neck.

"I-I'm sorry I just really missed you," he said into your neck. Light of the sunset through the windows lit your face perfectly. "Get on the bed."

"You have to let go of me first."

Jaehyun gave you a small laugh, unwrapping his arms from around you. He watched you back away from him slowly, eyes never leaving your body as you laid on the bed. There you were, laying there just for him. Just like he wanted.

Jaehyun climbed on top of you, a small gasp leaving your lips when you felt the weight of his body on the bed. Jaehyun kissed you again, this time like his life depended on it. Your lips moved in harmony, the both of you in absolute bliss. When you kissed each other it felt like nothing else mattered, no one else mattered. Jaehyun wanted this forever, but you knew it could only be temporary.

Jaehyun kissed down your neck and along your collarbone softly, making your body rise in temperature. "You know," he said against your skin softly," you are doing a terrible job at keeping your distance from me."

"I had no choice," you sighed, fingers playing in his hair. "You sent your butler for me."

"Because I knew if I came, you would've refused." Jaehyun crawled down your body, watching you as you watched him. He took his right hand, grabbing the fabric that laid on your skin and pushing it up. The man chuckled, watching you shudder when the cool air hit your skin. His eyes darkened watching you try and close your legs, he opened them gripping your ankles firmly.

"Don't hide from me," he said softly. Jaehyun leaned down, face getting closer and closer between your legs. This was new, something you've never done before and you didn't know how to process it.

"W-what are you doing," you questioned, eyes wild with panic.

"I want to taste you." The breath from his lips was hitting your inner thigh. He watched you give him that look of complete bliss as he kissed the skin softly. "Will you allow me to?"

"Y-yes."

Jaehyun smiled against your skin, still looking into your eyes as he kissed your thighs again. Your breath hitch in your throat when you feel his soft lips on your swollen bud. He kisses it again, licking it softly as he watches your body twitch at the unfamiliar sensation. He wanted this for a long time, hands gripping the underside of your thighs holding your legs apart. Your soft sighs were like music to his ears, tongue still licking at you slowly as he allowed you to get more comfortable with the feeling.

"God," you sighed, hands reaching for his hair.

"Do you like it?" Jaehyun smiles to himself when you nod, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking the bud of nerves softly. He feels your legs shake when the sensation shoots up your body.

Your fingers find themselves in his dark brown locks, eyes fluttering shut as he continues at a slow pace. Jaehyun gives you a slight pinch, making your body jump. You looked between your legs, his eyes dark with lust.

"Look at me," he said, voice deep. " Keep your eyes on me. I want you to think of this every time you see me."

Your body trembles, whines and whimpers, escaping your lips when Jaehyun goes all in on you. His tongue and lips move skillfully between your legs, the pleasure multiplying by a hundred. Jaehyun licked up your arousal, instantly becoming drunk off the taste of you. He needed this, he wanted this, to feel and be closer to you than ever before. To taste you, feel you, be lost in you.

Your brows furrowed, gulping at the way he flicked his tongue on your clit. His hands were still on your thighs, holding them so tight his fingertips were imprinted by now.

"J-Jaehyun, you feel so good," you whined softly. You pulled his hair making him look at you darkly. The way his tongue moved left you speechless, especially when the muscle made its way inside you, making your jaw drop slightly. "Oh God.."

He smirked to himself, tongue fucking you as he watched you lose yourself on the bed. If he could do this every day forever he would. Jaehyun's brows scrunched, feeling your hips move against his tongue. He watched your desperation rake all over your body, right hand no longer in his hair but on your nipples, pulling and twisting it. You tried hard to watch him, but you had no choice but to let your head fall back onto the bed taking in everything he was giving you.

Any other day, he would've stopped and made you look at him, but seeing you in absolute bliss, completely unable to control yourself was imprinted in his brain. "So pretty," he said, slurping your juices.

You felt Jaehyun take one hand off your leg, your head jolting up wondering if he was finished already. "D-don't stop yet," you whimpered softly.

"Don't worry my love," he cooed. Jaehyun took two fingers to your entrance, rubbing it slowly. You were so wet, fingertips glistening in the ray of sunshine that peeked through the stain glass. "You love me this much?"

You covered your face in embarrassment, knees coming together as your face heated up, but all he did was pull them apart. Jaehyun gently pulled your arms from your face, staring at you with a smile. "Don't hide from me," he whispered gently. Jaehyun took his hand back between your legs, circling his fingertips against your soaking entrance, sinking them inside of you. His face twisted in pleasure with your in unison, watching your eyes flutter shut once he gave you the stretch you needed. He pumped his fingers in you slowly, taking in your small whines.

Jaehyun watched as you reached for his other hand, holding your leg, taking it and pulling it towards your body, placing his rough palms on your breast.

"Touch me, please."

You have no idea the power you have over him. He's like putty in your hands at the moment, but you're so oblivious in how much he actually loves you, how much he wants to make you feel good. Jaehyun loves it when you whimper, when your voice cracks from the overwhelming amount of pleasure like just now.

He kept fingering you, squeezing and pinching your chest adding more pleasure. He couldn't get enough of the way you arched into his hand, grinded your body into his fingers. "That's it," he mumbled softly. "Keep going."

You were so wet, your arousal all over your inner thighs and his hands. Even the bed was wet, but neither you or Jaehyun had the chance to notice. Not when he was starting to speed up his fingers. You gulped, brows furrowing as you moaned softly.

"Jaehyun.."

Your eyes were now opened, vision flickering between his face and his hands. You loved that look he gave you. The gentle, but dominant expression on his face. As if his only purpose was to make you feel good. You would never tell him but you craved it. You craved his attention no matter how much you pushed him away. You craved that look in his eye when you felt like the only girl in the world.

"Doesn't it feel good," he mumbled, a small smile grazing his lips. He licked his lips, watching your body shiver under his touch, your cunt squeezing around his fingers. Jaehyun means down, nipple rolling between his fingers as he kisses you on your neck tenderly.

You nodded, hand cradling the back of his head as he kissed your skin. Jaehyun lifted his head, eyes darting straight to your lips. You missed each other softly as you moaned softly into his mouth. Kisses soon turned into lips touching, pants and whimpers filling the air as he worked his hand inside of you. The curl of his fingers left you gasping for air, back arching onto his chest.

"Jaehyun, please. I'm so close," you said, voice cracking into a whisper. Just at that moment, he pulled his fingers out of you, the high you desperately wanted to reach snatched away from you. "N-no," you whined.

"Don't worry, Y/N.."

You watched him, mouth gone dry, as he undressed himself. First, his shirt, then his shoes, then everything else. You laid watching him become bare in front of you. This is the most skin you've ever seen from him and surprisingly, you weren't that off put. You always knew he had a perfect body. He was fit, muscular everywhere. Arms, legs , chest, your eyes naturally stopped in his middle, making him grin.

"I love seeing you like this," he said, eyes glazing over your body as he climbed on top of you. Jaehyun spread your legs wider, chuckling softly when you jumped underneath him. He lines himself with you, rubbing his tip against your folds slowly as he watches you with lidded eyes."Do you want this as much as I do?"

Before you could even get out an answer, he pushed himself in you slowly, the feeling of you around him making him hiss. You let out a strangled whimper, head falling back onto the mattress. "Yes," you nodded. "I want this so much."

Jaehyun thrusted in you long and slow, not wanting to end this too quickly. He wanted to be wrapped up like this with you forever, skin on skin, listening to your heart beat, taking in every single breath. He was completely wrapped up in your body, scent, sound that he didn't hear knocking on the door. Not until you spoke.

"J-Jaehyun, someone's knocking," you said panicked but all he did was look down at you with a smile, continuing his pace.

"Don't worry about it," he said softly.

"Your majesty, there's someone here to see you," Bailey said from outside the door.

"Tell them I'm busy and I'll be out in a minute," he yelled back, hands still on your body. Turning his attention back to you, he notices the dress in your brows, giving away your worries.

"Stop worrying," he whispered, kissing you. "Just be quiet for me."

Jaehyun started thrusting in your faster, the crease in your brows depending as he went deep into you. You were a mess. You bit your lip hard, trying to keep yourself from making any unbecoming sounds after he told you to quiet, but Jaehyun had no idea how good you felt at the moment. Sweat collecting on your face, body as hot as a stove as he continued to drive himself into you.

Reaching up, you pulled him down to your body kissing him hard, his mouth collecting your moans to muffle them. His hips moved melodically, making you pull away from his lip and whimpers against his mouth. You opened your eyes to see him staring right at you, his pretty face glistening with sweat. Jaehyun rested his forehead against yours, eyes never leaving you as his thrust became more erratic.

"I love you so much," he groaned softly. He took one of your hands from his neck, placing it between the both of you. "Touch yourself, let yourself go for me darling."

"Jaehyun, oh God." His name fell from your mouth like water as you rubbed your clit along with his thrust. You pulsed around him, squeezing around his cock over and over and over again. And for some reason, despite your protest from the last time, you didn't want him to pull out.

You wanted him, all of him. You know how wrong it is, to have the children of a married man. The prince's bastard children. But in the moment it felt so good, so right. But you can't have that, not now, not ever.

You came hard around him, your choked moans erupting from your throat louder than you hoped. Jaehyun didn't seem to care, still thrusting into your sensitive hole. You were weak, unable to keep yourself quiet any longer. Your whines and whimpers filled the space, body still tangled in his.

"Tell me you love me," he said in your ear.

Your brain was so foggy, pleasure filling every thought in your mind. "I love you," you moaned breathlessly.

Jaehyun's orgasm crashed into him, the man pulling out of you just in time making sure to make the same mistake he did a week ago. He held onto you tight, grip so tight on your waist it stung. He tried to hold himself up, but he was so weak at the moment he crashed right on top of you. But you didn't mind. You basked in his warmth, your breaths matching his as the both of you came down from your highs.

A couple of beats of silence passed by before anyone spoke. "I love you Y/N," he said against your skin.

Lots of time has passed and you haven't heard from or spoken to Jaehyun. You've seen him in the halls of course, walking past or taking a peek out of the window. He looked good like always. Regal, handsome, yours. He wasn't yours though, he was Rose's. He was her's and despite telling yourself that it was never going to be you, you hated it.

You tried not to hate it, but it became increasingly difficult seeing them together, playing house when you knew they disliked each other so much. Working so closely with Rose and over hearing her chats with the ton didn't make it easier. She didn't care how badly she talked about anything in front of these women. Calling other maids names, being rude to you, sometimes lying to make her life as queen look better than it actually was.

Unfortunately for you, you couldn't rest on this night. You and the rest of the staff were running around the palace for the current ball taking place on the palace grounds. You wanted to focus so badly on your task but every time you see Jaehyun, you want to run to him. Good thing he gave you a note saying to meet him at 12. It was now 11:55, so you were on your way sneaking away from the party of nobles and royals.

You made haste quickly. No one would notice you were gone, guests were half way drunk, other maids had their hands full, guards watching the perimeter like hawks. You didn't see Jaehyun, assuming he was at the meeting spot. Rose was strangely away, but you thought nothing of it. Slipping past the crowd of people was like second nature. You walked into the palace and went straight up the stairs. Your footsteps were quiet as there was supposed to be no one there at the moment.

Your senses were heightened, not wanting to get caught in the empty hallway. But you noticed something strange. Rose's bedroom door was open. No one should've been there at the moment. You know who shouldn't check, every second away from Jaehyun means less and less time with him, despite wanting space. But you walked in against your better judgment.

And there she was. Rose stood on her balcony silently gazing out at the ocean right across from her. Her hair blew in the wind, adding much to her beard in the scene already. She looked… sad, content. Like she was lost in thoughts. It was unlike her, but you couldn't help. All you had to do was slip back out and get to Jaehyun as soon as-

"Don't leave so quickly," she said, making you jump. "I promise you'll have your time with him."

She spoke quietly and softly as if she didn't want anyone else to hear. You had no idea what she was going to do or say, but stayed put nonetheless. You felt the cool air from the ocean on your skin, making you shiver as Rose turned to face you. The only other source of light was the candle near the doorway lighting you up.

"I don't hate you," she said, hands folded to her front. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting."

A few beats of silence passed before you spoke. "You have nothing to apologize for my grace."

You and her knew that was a lie. She'd been terrible to you since she found out about your relationship with the prince. You never expected her to apologize. Royals never apologize, feeling like they can say or do whatever because of their status.

"There's a lot of people relying on me. I'm sure you understand," she said softly. "My home country… everyday we are on the verge of war and I…"

"I, too, had someone."

Your breath hitched at her sudden confession, staring at the mix of longing and sadness in her eyes. Rose sighed, looking down at the ground as she swallowed hard. You never would've guessed she had any part of her life that wasn't shrouded by her responsibilities as a princess.

"What happened," you asked quietly.

"We were together, but…we knew it would never last." Rose released a shaky sigh, closing her eyes to try and stop herself from tearing up. "Everyday, I miss him."

"Did you love him?"

Rose opened her eyes, mouth parting slightly to answer, but all she did was keep quiet and nod. Her hands were still crossed, but she was squeezing them tightly trying not to get too emotional the moment.

"We were inseparable in that castle, just like you and Jaehyun. The both of you remind me of us so much, it makes me sad. My parents forbade me to marry a commoner and sent me here. I knew absolutely no one or anything about this place. Everyday I just want to be with him. When I see you and Jaehyun, I feel…. I don't know how I feel."

"I-I'm sorry," you say, making her scoff.

"Please do not pity me. I knew what my life would be as soon as I was out of the womb," she mumbled pointedly. "I just wish that he could be here, that's all. Even if I couldn't stay with him in the way that I wanted, I just wish he was near me."

"What's his name," you asked.

"John," she answered shortly. "He's a knight. Tall, strong, courageous."

You watched her soften when talking about him. If Jaehyun could tell people about the both of you, is this how he would be? You wondered if he would look as in love as Rose did at the moment. "Well, I'm sure John misses you also."

"I want him to miss me as much as I miss him, but the last time we saw each other…" Rose stopped talking, a frown on her lips as she recounted the memories of their last meeting. "I don't even know if he's a knight anymore."

"My grace, I'm sure whatever happened was not-"

"My parents - the king and queen - caught us Y/N," she said, a slight shadow of guilt slashing across her face.

You knew how serious this was, especially for a princess. Sleeping with a knight? If word got out, it would be the end of her. women were supposed to be angels, pure. For you, it didn't matter much, you were just a maid after all. But Rose knew what that could mean for her.

"I was too stupid to say no to his advances because I loved him so much and without thinking we… did something we weren't supposed to. It reminds me of you and Jaehyun."

You tilted your head not understanding her words. "I don't understand, my grace."

"Do you think people don't see the way you look at each other? The way his gaze lingers on you or how the two of you run off for minutes or hours at a time? I know you might think it's not that serious but once you're in deep, you can hardly tell when you should dig yourself out." Rose let out a frustrated sigh, groaning as her perfect princess stature melted away for a second. She rested her face in her hands, giving you a deep sigh. "What I'm trying to say is I barely know the both of you and I don't want you or him to end up like John and I. He watched me leave him for good because of a mistake we made together. Yes, I am jealous of you both but I am only a person."

"Princess, I understand. I-"

"No," she said sternly, taking a step towards you. "I know you think that because I told you this, you think you understand me but you don't. I am here in a place where I do not belong. I did not ask to be here. I am in a country that I know nothing about. I do not know the food, the customs, the people, let alone their royal family. I am here to prevent my home from being destroyed in a war. With you and Jaehyun running around, unable to bear a child, I cannot make sure that my country is safe. I cannot make sure that John is safe."

All her words hit you like a storm. You always understood that this marriage was hard for her, going from one place to another, but you never imagined that it would take this much of a toll on her. Rose always puts up a strong front, never allowing people to know or hear her weaknesses. Her reputation for being ice cold didn't just come from nowhere, but now you've seen a new side of her. You didn't know if it was caring or just pure panic. She was genuinely distraught about the possibility of not being able to have a child with the prince. And for the first time in a while, you felt for her. You pitied her.

"Princess," you called out, breaking the silence. "I fear the prince and I may have-"

"Enough." You turned around, startled, when seeing Jaehyun walking to the room. He grabbed your wrist, face lit with irritation. "I heard every word. Y/N, I need to speak to you now. Rose, I will speak to you later."

"Jaehyun–"

You didn't get much of a say in the matter as you dragged out of the room, the door slamming behind him. He pulled you down the hall in silence. His grip on your wrist tightened the faster he walked, both of your footsteps filling the silence. Jaehyun pulled you into the castle's library, which was very empty at the moment. The dust sparkled in the air, shining in the moonlight hiding behind the stained glass. It was dark, the only thing keeping you from bumping into a shelf was the tiny bit of light shining in the middle.

Jaehyun pulled you into an assortment of unorganized piles of books, moving through them like a maze as you tried your hardest to not trip over your own feet. He still hadn't said a word to you but you could tell he was furious. Jaehyun took you and pinned you against the shelf.

"What did I tell you?"

His voice was strangely calm, making you furrow your brows. You stared at him, analyzing his face. "Jaehyun, what are you talking about?"

"If I call for you, you must oblige," he said echoing his words from a while ago.

"Jaehyun, we were talking-"

"I don't care what you were doing. I don't want her putting strange thoughts in your head."

You scoffed, pushing his body away from yours. "She's not putting thoughts in my head. You seem to forget that I am my own person with my own thoughts."

"Y/N, I know you are your own person, but I worry that-"

"You worry what, hm? That I'll tell you we need time apart? That I'll end this for good and break your heart," you interrupt. You watch Jaehyun's exasperated expression fall flat.

"Well is that what you want? Do you want to end this and break my heart?"

"Goodness, Jaehyun, no I do not want to end this," you whined frustrated. "But we have not been careful. I tried to put up some kind of a wall between us but I love you too much."

"We have been careful Y/N. No one but my mother and Rose knows," he said, grabbing your hands, but you took them away from him.

"And do you think what happened in your office was us being careful? It was the day after your wedding and I could be pregnant right now," you said with a frown. "I will be thrown out of this castle and never see you again. Is that what you want?"

"I won't let that happen," he declared. Jaehyun sounded confident but he clearly lacked the resolve. It would happen whether he wanted it to or not. There wasn't much he could do but cherish his time with you and that's exactly what he was going to do.

"You know you can't do that. You know you have no control over that. This is a mess, all of this is-"

Jaehyun grabbed your face, kissed you hard, shutting you up. You stumbled, back hitting the bookshelf as he caressed your cheeks with his thumbs. You began to melt into his touch, letting your eyes shut as you kissed him back softly. Jaehyun pulled away slowly, watching you open your eyes to look at him.

"I don't want to fight anymore," he mumbled. "I'm sorry for everything. I just don't want to fight with you. I love you."

"I understand. Don't blame yourself." You looked at him with a slight pout, hurt filling your heart seeing him so distraught.

"It's my fault. All of this is my fault. If these really are my last moments with you, can we spend them doing something else instead." Jaehyun couldn't control himself, eyes flickering to your lips to your neck.

Jaehyun was clearly not in the right frame of mind and neither were you, so you obliged despite the little voice in your head telling you no. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him to you, kissing him deeply. Jaehyun followed your rhythm, arms wrapping around your waist. His lips molded with your naturally, sighing softly finally feeling the weight being lifted off his chest.

You slowly took your arms from around his neck, lips never parting as you began to remove his jacket. Jaehyun took his arms from around you and took the fabric off. You made your way to his waist, unbuttoning the tiny objects. Jaehyun smiled against your lips knowing you always struggled with his buttons.

"Allow me," he mumbled, removing your hands. Jaehyun unbuttoned his clothes with ease, lips still on yours the whole way through. You reached behind you removing your apron, letting it drop on the ground. Jaehyun pulled away from you, spinning your body around without saying a word. His fingers worked on the buttons, eyes boring into the back of your neck. The tension and the sound of fabric moving was enough to fill the silence. Once he finished, he pulled the dress off your shoulders gently, taking in the way his fingertips gilded against your skin.

Your breath hitched as you turned your head to face him. He stared at you with heavy lidded eyes, pupils dilated with lust. He kissed you, hands still on your dress. He pulled the sleeves off your arms, pushing it directly to the floor. Pulling away from him, you stepped out of the puddle of clothes. You turned to him, pulling his body to yours. Jaehyun placed his hands on your waist, squeezing it softly as he kissed your neck. You reached up sighing blissfully at the feeling of his lips on your skin and pulled the shirt off him, leaving his upper half completely bare.

Jaehyun shuddered under your touch, pulling away and watching you as you ran your hands down his chest. Your chest moved rapidly, heart racing being in this compromising position.

"You're so pretty," he whispered, kissing your forehead.

You didn't say anything, just simply stood there with begging eyes.

"What do you want me to do," he said, eyes darting all over your clothed body.

"Anything. Do anything to me."

Without being told twice, Jaehyun dropped to his knees in front of you. There was something so unnatural about seeing him on his knees. Jaehyun would never be on his knees for anyone or anything, his pride would never allow it. He's never begged or cried for anything in his life being a man of great power and influence. But you're different. He'd gladly beg and cry for you. He'd kiss your feet if you asked.

You watch him sink to his knees, gulping deeply as he looks up at you with an intense stare. The library is still fairly dark, but you can see him clearly. Something about him being on his knees for you made your mind race, making you grow hotter and hotter.

"I want to taste you Y/N," he said quietly. "Can I?"

You nodded, hands clinging to the only other clothing on your body. You pulled the undergarment up, exposing your body to the man below you. Jaehyun took your hips in his hands, fingertips tickling you as he ran them up and down your skin. Jaehyun pressed small intimate kisses on your thighs watching you through his long lashes. You were breathing heavily, so turned on by the feel of his lips on your legs.

Jaehyun continued to stare up at you as he nudged himself between your legs, licking your pussy softly. Your body jerked, the feeling sending a familiar sensation through your body. He licked again, digging his tongue into you slightly. Jaehyun smirked to himself when you spread your legs wider. He took his hand from your hips to your waist, caressing every inch of you while licking you over and over again.

Jaehyun's tongue moved skillfully, relishing in the sounds you let out above him. You tasted so good to him, he was definitely addicted and he knew it. He needed this all the time, to be under you, pleasuring you and making you feel good. He ate you out passionately, licking and sucking on every bit of you.

"W-wait, do that again," you moaned quietly.

"This?" Jaehyun wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking it. His brows furrowed feeling your legs trembling. The sight of you alone would make him cum, but he wouldn't mind that at all.

"God, yes," you whimpered. You pulled your slip up further, hands tightening on the fabric as you watched him with glassy eyes.

"You like it this much?" Without letting you answer, he sucked your clit hard. Jaehyun's cock jumped in his pants hearing your loud whine echo in the dark room. He took a hand off your waist, fingers trailing down your stomach right above your pussy. Jaehyun removed his mouth from your clit only to lift the hood with his thumb, staring at the swollen bud with a smug smile.

"I love this pretty clit," he muttered under his breath. Jaehyun took his other hand off your waist as he flicked his tongue on your clit, fingers creeping up your legs. It was all too much, every word, movement, breath. You were overstimulated like hell, but you enjoyed it.

You felt Jaehyun begin to rub your inner thigh gently, biting your lip softly. Jaehyun slowly pushed two fingers into your soaking core, making you gasp softly at the sudden feeling. Unconsciously, you began to move your hips in his mouth and fingers. Jaehyun furrowed his brows, fingers pumping in you trying to keep up your pace. He stopped flicking your clit, placing a soft kiss on the sensitive spot"And to think you thought you could stay away from me," he said, kissing your thighs. "Do you think you still can?"

"N-no," you stuttered, hips still grinding at a steady pace. Sweat glistened on your forehead, heavy breathing and soft whimpers flooding Jaehyun's ears and all he can think about is how wet, warm, and tight you are around his fingers.

Jaehyun swallows hard, his erection becoming painfully tight underneath his pants. But he can't get up just yet. You look beautiful from this view and he wishes he could be here all the time. He begins to like and suck your clit again, making you whine loudly.

"Cum for me. Cum on my tongue and fingers."

He kept sucking your clit, pumping his fingers in you faster than your pace. The squelching noises of your dripping cunt rang through his ears.

"I'm so close," you whined. You let go of your dress with one hand, reaching down to grab his hair. You pulled him closer to your body, leaning back onto the shelf. The smell of books and sex intoxicated your nose, senses at an all time high as you began to feel yourself come closer and closer.

Jaehyun felt you squeeze around his fingers, eyes stuck on your face as you came above him. Your breathy whimpers and furrowed brows turning him on even more. You let go of his hair, body shaking from the intense orgasm. Jaehyun stood up, fingers still inside you. He kissed you hard, the taste of yourself on his lips tongue exciting you. Jaemin pulls his fingers out of you, pulling away from your lips as he stuck them in his own mouth, sucking you cum and arousal off the digits.

"Jaehyun, don't do things like that," you say, heat creeping across your skin as you watch him.

Jaehyun chuckles to himself, your words moving through him like air. In a split second you, he forcefully turns you around so that you're pressed against the case. Your face smudged on the backs and fronts of books and his hands pulled up your dress, all in a silent swift motion.

"You need me," he said quietly but sternly in your ear.

You remained silent, unable to concentrate on giving an answer unbuttoning his pants. Jaehyun pulled his hard cock out, already leaking precum. Jaehyun grabs your hips, pulling them closer to him. Taking his cock in his hand, he lines himself with your entrance.

"You love me," he whispered, sinking himself into your body with ease. Your heart beats fast as your head falls back onto his shoulder, ass arching against him in the best way possible. Jaehyun's chest was pressed against your back, forcing you to feel his sporadic breathing as you squeezed around him.

"Don't ever try and run away from me," he says in a deep, low tone. Jaehyun thrust in you slowly and steadily, savoring every single second. "You said we needed a break, but here we are" – he kisses the back of your ear, his breathy moans making your heart flutter – "once again pressed against each other."

Jaehyun's words should've alarmed you. You should've wanted this to stop as soon as he opened his mouth, but every word he said was true. You can't stay away from him. You're not as strong as you thought you were and probably never will be. You shivered feeling his fingers pull down the thick strap of your slip, his lips kissing your shoulder softly.

"You like this don't you? The sneaking around, the sweet things I tell you, the sacrifices I'm willing to make." Jaehyun dings his fingers into your sides, pulling you closer to him as he thrust deeper and deeper into you. Your shaky breaths turn into moans, brows scrunched as you pressed your face against the shelf. "Say it. Say you like it."

"I-I like it," you moan breathlessly.

He begins to thrust in you faster, the rhythm in his hips making you close your eyes. "I love you so much," he says, lips brushing on the lip of your ear. The warmth from his body wrapped around you, allowing you to melt into his body. Your hands held onto the structure in front of you, fingers gripping onto whatever was left of the book covered shelves.

"Jaehyun, oh my God," you whimpered softly. Jaehyun thrusted into you harder, the movement making the old wooden case creak, the sound echoing in the room.

"You're stuck with me, my love. How does that make you feel," he groaned softly. Jaehyun wrapped an arm around your waist, pressing you even closer.

"So good.."

Jaehyun moved his hand towards the middle of your legs, fingers rubbing your clit at a steady pace. He moved this other hand off your waist, placing it on top of yours that was clinging to the shelf. Clasping your hands together, his head drops in the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking the skin gently. Your hips moved with him, whines and groans filling the space.

"Jaehyun..shit.."

A dark chuckle rang in your ear, instantly turning you on even more. That was the first time you've ever sworn in front of him. You always kept up good manners whenever you were around him that he never even knew you swore in the first place. He took his hand off yours, turning your chin to face him. Jaehyun kissed you, hard and sloppy which was so out of the norm for him. He never did anything sloppy, not even the way he went down on you was sloppy.

"I'm about to cum," you whimpered on his lips.

"Hold on for me. I want us to cum together." His voice was deliciously raspy and deep as he pounded into you. You loved moments like this. The moments where your both were so wrapped in each other you forgot the kind of situation you were in. The moment where no one and anything else mattered.

He kept thrusting, his low grunts sending a wave of emotions through your body. That's when you felt your thoughts shift in the most surprising way possible. You wanted all of him. You needed all of him. "Cum in me. I..I need it."

Jaehyun didn't question you or have any doubts. All he did was kiss behind your ear, his soft raspy moans wrapping around you. You felt the muscles in your stomach get tight, your whine and whimpers getting higher in pitch. 

"That's it Y/N, keep going just like that." Jaehyun held your waist tight, gripping you tight as you bounced on him meeting his movements. You reach back, hand on the back of his neck as you pull him to your mouth kissing him hard. And that's when the both of you feel it, both becoming undone in the intense wave of your orgasms. Loud moans and heavy breathing filled the empty space, the echo bouncing off the walls. 

Tired and worn out, both of you stood there. In the silence of each other's heavy breathing, choosing not to speak about the fact that he came inside you once again. You just wanted to feel like it was real for a second, because if you really were pregnant, it would just mean that illusion would be broken. And now the possibility of it happening now or later was too near, but that wasn't on your mind. All that was on your mind was Jaehyun, how he looked, how he walked, how he talked. The both of you stayed this way for a little while longer, taking in each other, pretending that everything was okay and perfect. 

But what neither of you knew was that things were about to get more complicated than either of you could've imagined. 

Sick.

You feel sick. 

It's not like you've never felt sick before, but you had no reason to to feel sick. You haven't drank, since you're not allowed to, all of the food was fine, you didn't have a fever, you didn't have any other sickness. But somehow you felt nauseous, your stomach turning and breath getting heavy. You had already used yourself from the rest of the kitchen And was now in a bathroom, kneeling in front of a toilet. 

"This cannot be happening," you mumbled to yourself, clutching your abdomen. You felt your throat turn hot as you began to heave into the toilet. You committed hard, your entire body shaking as you gripped the bowl. The smell was putrid making your frown as you pushed yourself back into your feet. 

Without thinking, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You looked like you always did, but something felt different. All the events that have taken place within the recent weeks plague your mind making your frown deeper. You were disappointed in yourself. Disappointed in how easy you let yourself be taken by him. Disappointed in how much you liked it. You felt remorseful for your future self because you had a feeling something wasn't right.

You shake the thoughts from your head and wash your mouth out diligently before stepping out of the bathroom. You opened the door walking out quickly only to slam into another hard surface. Completely disoriented, you stumble back not understanding what you could've walked into. 

“Apologies, my lady. I did not see you coming.” 

The voice made you freeze, your eyes widened as you looked back at him. You were silent, not realizing how truly startled you looked to him. It was almost as if he knew what you were thinking, what was happening. What was going to happen. The longer you stared, the more shaken you became. You really could be pregnant with the child of the man you're in love with, but why didn't you feel happy about it? 

“I'm sorry, is everything alright,” Jaehyun questioned, giving you a look of concern. He reached out to place a hand on your shoulder but you moved away before he could touch you. 

“I'm fine. Thank you, your grace.” 

Jaehyun watched you in confusion when you gave him a slight bow, walking past him in a hurry. But he's a resilient man. He won't let you get away that easily. Jaehyun follows you, catching up to you when you grab the handle to the kitchen door. Jaehyun's rough hands wrap around your wrist, making you both freeze. 

“Talk to me,” he says, brows knitted. 

“What are you doing? We are in a hallway,” you whispered in annoyance. 

“I'm not going to allow you to avoid me again. Tell me what's going on.” His tone was hard and stern, but his eyes were soft. His grip loosened as he stood there watching your expression soften into worry. 

“I can not tell you until I'm sure,” you said looking at your feet. You looked at him, a small frown on the corner of his mouth. 

“Do you not trust me?” 

You sigh, pulling your wrist from his hand. “It is not you I don't trust, it is myself. Please let me figure all this out. I will tell you.” 

Jaehyun gave you an unsure look, his eyes narrowing at your words. 

“I promise,” you said, placing your hands on your heart. Just then, you heard footsteps, and immediately withdrew your sentimental look, straightening up in front of the prince. You folded your hands in front of yourself, looking at him emotionless. Just as you bow and come up, Rose walks down the hall, looking directly at you.

She walks up to the both of you, standing in the distance you created. “Great. I've been looking for you,” she said looking at Jaehyun, barely paying you any mind. “I figured you'd be nearby.” 

“Has something happened,” he asked, raising a brow. He shot you a small glance, needing to look at you for some comfort. 

“Yes it is about our standing with the public..” she took his arm, dragging him away from you with haste, but it relieved you. You wanted to be alone at the moment, not around anyone who knew what was going on, or around any drama. You were stressed and it wasn't going to get better with their problems being shoved in your face.

But now you were alone, not one else to distract you or purge the impending doom that plagued your mind. And that made you ever more sick. 

-

White.

Clear.

Clean.

Those were all things you did not want to see, all signs of the thing you feared the most. You had no time to sit and cry and grovel, you had to act accordingly.

Breathe. Breathe.

But you can't breathe. You feel like the walls are closing in. The pretty sunlight shining through your small window is completely contrasting the metaphorical dark cloud hanging over your head. Everyone that knows you thinks you're calm and collected and can handle anything with ease. But this might be the one time you lose your mind.

You didn't even realize that tears were streaming down your face till you moved to wipe them, completely unaware of how long you've been standing there. There was no way you could have a child, let alone with the prince. The reality of never seeing or speaking to him again was definite and there was nothing you could do about it. But you had to suck it up and tell him anyway.

Wiping your face clear of tears, you leave your room, dusting the nonexistent dust from your dress. These next couple of days would likely be the last time you would ever wear it. You never really liked the outfit but grew used to it after a while.

Soon, you made it to the main hallway, walking through like normal. Walking up the stairs to the second floor, you feel yourself becoming nauseous the closer you get to Jaehyun's office. You can't tell if you're experiencing pregnancy symptoms or if you just aren't ready to tell him.

But you couldn't wait now. You were already in front of his office door by the time the thoughts in your brain were done racing. Your hand trembled as you raised it, hesitating to knock on the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You heard shuffling behind the door, gulping at what was to come later. The door flung open, only for you to be faced with a very irritated Rose, Jaehyun sitting on the couch in the background. Your breath hitched, eyes going back and forth between the two of them. What were they doing? What were they talking about? Why should it matter, she was his wife and you weren't.

“You have impeccable timing, don't you,” Rose spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you. You glanced at Jaehyun who was looking at you past Rose. Your heart pumped watching a smile spread on his lips. It hurts.

Rose moved further into the room, her extravagant dress taking up so much space. You walked in, shutting the door behind you. Every nerve in your body prickled with suspense, every second rose spent glaring at you made you want to run away and hide. You weren't scared of her, but you were scared of her reaction.

“Why are you here,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest.

You needed to answer honestly. “I came to see Jaehyun.”

“His grace,'' Rose corrected, a scowl on her face. “in my presence, you will address him properly.”

“Rose, it's okay,” Jaehyun said, rising to his feet.

“No it's not. I don't care for whatever you two have. Around me, keep it at bay,” she argued, rolling her eyes.

You glanced at Jaehyun who was staring at your lips. It was obvious he wanted to kiss you, and you wanted to kiss him too. Jaehyun finally felt like the two of you were beginning to patch whatever issue you had, but he hadn't been alone with you since the day in the hall. As understanding of the situation that he is, he wishes you could just talk to him and not run and hide.

“I-I need to speak to him. Privately.”

Rose glared at you and then at Jaehyun, eyes shifting around the room. Your hands were sweating and trembling. This is not how you wanted this to go. You just wanted to tell Jaehyun and he tell Rose. Goodness, you felt like you were going to vomit again, the nerves now making you feel nauseous and weak.

“I'm not going to leave,”Rose declared.

Jaehyun groaned, pushing his hair back annoyed. “Rose, give us a moment-”

“No I will not. My husband and the woman he's sleeping with are constantly sneaking around and I won't stand for it anymore,” she said, voice becoming louder.

“I understand you dont like this but please, just respect what I have with her,” he said, getting loud with her.

“Don't you dare raise your voice at me,” she said. Rose then directed her attention to you, turning to you with an angry expression. “I'm done with you and him hiding things from me. Whatever you need to tell him, I'm sure you can say it in front of me.”

“Why do you insist on making things difficult,” Jaehyun said through gritted teeth. “You have told me many times you don't want to hear or see us together and now you're demanding we include you in private conversations.”

“Jaehyun, I don't need-”

“You keep quiet.” Rose took a step towards you, making Jaehyun's ears red from anger. “I don't want to hear a word from you. All you've done was mess up this damn marriage from the start-”

“You say that as if you wanted it,” Jaehyun interrupted.

The two went on for a while, leaving you standing at the door completely overwhelmed by all the screaming. Rose was upset. Jaehyun was angry. It was a screaming match all because of your presence. You shouldn't have come. You should've just went back to your room when you saw her open the door. But this had to come to an end.

Breathe. Breathe.

“I'm pregnant.”

Your soft voice stopped the arguing, both Jaehyun and Rose looking at you as if they heard you wrong.

“What,” he asked, gulping.

“I'm.. pregnant,” you repeat.

Rose said nothing, just walked to Jaehyun and slapped him. The sound echoed through the silent room. Time came to a standstill, the sound of heavy breathing echoing through the room. Adrenaline rushed through your veins, the desire to protect him not going past anything but a desire. His cheek was red as he stood there silently staring at the ground, taking in everything that just took place.

“I'm sorry,” he said after a few beats of silence.

She ignored him, turning to you. Rose took two steps in front of you and you closed your eyes. You knew she was going to hit you so all you could do was brace for impact. But too many seconds passed and you felt nothing, so you opened your eyes only to face a tearful woman.

“I want you out by the end of the week,” she said, voice shaking.

“She's not going anywhere.”

Both you and Rose turn to Jaehyun, your heart pumping so loud you're afraid it would come out of your chest.

“She cannot stay here. This is not up for debate,” Rose said calmly.

“She will stay. I forbid her from leaving.” Jaehyun was willing to start a war for you. He would do everything in his power to keep you from leaving the castle, pregnant or not.

Rose turned to him slowly, face twisting in anger and irritation. “You have made a mockery out of me too many times. I gave up everything to be here and the one thing I asked you not to do, you did anyway.”

“My grace, w-we didn't know this would happen,” you said almost in a whisper.

Rose turned to you, giving you a chuckle in disbelief. “Didn't know? How could you not know? You both are running around here fucking like rabbits when you think no one is watching, but you didn't know?”

That was the one truth you didn't want to bear. All those times you and Jaehyun snuck off in each other's company ended up with you sleeping with him. You knew it was a bad idea, every single time, but it felt so right. All those times he would look at you as if you were the only thing in the world with protecting, you were going to miss him.

“I'm sorry,” you whispered.

Rose scoffed, staring at you in disbelief. “Don't pretend that you care. Don't pretend that you didn't want this.”

“I didn't want this. I am not ready to be a mother.”

Jaehyun looked at you, his stoic expression beginning to crack the more you spoke. He wanted to take your hand and run. Just run far away from this castle, this life, everything. “You will stay until you birth our child,” he said.

“No she will not.” Rose raised her voice, “I'm sick of watching you two prance around here, living out your fairy tale love when I couldn't have mine.”

“And why should that be my fault,” Jaehyun snapped. “I'm sorry you couldn't stay with whoever you wanted back home. I'm sorry you were forced into this marriage. But..” Jaehyun looked at you and back at Rose, sorrow filling his heart realizing the difficult position he put you in. “I love her, and I refuse to let her go.”

“You are the most selfish man I've ever met,” she said, giving him a dry laugh. “We both know our fate but you refuse to change. I have tried everything to make this work despite not wanting to be here and you've run circles around this palace to avoid them.”

“I have sacrificed so much-”

“Sacrifice,” Rose interrupted, scoffing. “Do you know anything about sacrifice? I was forced to leave my home to prevent a war my parents started. The only man that has ever loved me is somewhere dead or alive and I do not know. I had to marry you against my will and have to have a child with you to maintain my status. This is the life I've always known, and you dare speak of sacrifices. I sacrifice my freedom, body, and sanity everyday. And you sacrifice what? Your feelings?”

Jaehyun stood there silent. There was nothing he could say because she was right. “I'm sorry for any chaos I've caused, but all I ask-”

“I'll go.” That was the first thing you've said in a while, making both of their heads turn. “I-ill go. I knew this would be my fate if it happened, so I'll leave.”

Jaehyun's heart dropped. It felt like his whole world was crashing and he could do nothing about it. “Y/N, please you don't have to-”

“Jaehyun, I will go. I have to go eventually. You know that,” you said almost in a whisper, voice cracking under the pressure that weighed on your chest. Tears pooled in the corner of your eyes, but you didn't let them see as you faced the floor.

“Be out by the end of the week.”

You looked up, brows furrowed in sadness at Rose’s nonchalant disposition. “I have no family. I need more than a week.”

“Then leave the country! Go on a voyage and explore other lands! Just be out of my castle!”

Rose left the room with a loud slam of the door. Jaehyun didn't even give a second after she left to pull you into his arms, hugging you tight as if you would leave him immediately. And in his arms is where you broke down, allowing yourself to cry. You cried for him, you cried for yourself, you cried for your soon to be child, you even cried for Rose. Your life was in disarray, and there was nothing you could do it about. Nothing Jaehyun could do about it.

“It's okay,” he said in a quiet soothing voice. Jaehyun stroked the back of your head softly, holding you tight.

You and him stood there for a while, holding each other in silence. It was strange, the way he just gave up and didn't fight for much longer, but there are some things you can't fight even if you try. After some time, you both calmed down. You wanted a distraction, needed a distraction.

“Jaehyun,” you breathed out.

He loosened his hold on you, letting you look up at him. Starry eyes, flushed face, pretty lips. You were his only dream in this world of nightmares. “I'm sorry Y/N. I'm sorry for all of this.”

“Never mind all of that,” you whispered, forcing a smile. You hoped he could see your sadness or feel the ping in your heart.

“If I had just… This is all my fault,” he repeated. Jaehyun swallowed hard, feeling your hand come in contact with his face, caressing his cheek softly. “I don't want you to leave.”

“You act as if I'm leaving immediately,” you laugh, trying to lighten the somber mood. “I'm still here, and we can make the most of it.”

“How?”

You didn't say a word. All you did was kiss him softly, and the rest of the day was history.

You decided to do what Rose suggested and leave the country. You didn't know what would await you out of the land and across the sea but you were ready for it. The one thing you weren't ready for was leaving Jaehyun. And he wasn't either. It was apparent by how he was basically clinging to you every second he could get, never letting you out of his sight.

Despite him being so close, you hadn't yet told him of your plan and today was the day you'd be leaving. It was early morning and you already had your things packed. You told him to come to your room at noon, and just like expected, he knocked on your door right on time.

You stood up from your bed, exhaling the breath you didn't know you were holding in before opening the door. And there he was, as regal as always. Jaehyun stood there, eyes unable to leave your body realizing you were wearing regular clothes. He's never seen you in anything but your maid outfit, and this just makes him fall for you more.

“Hello, my love,” he said, giving you a sad smile. “Today is the day I suppose.” Jaehyun walks in, eyes immediately going to your cases that are packed with your belongings. His heart hurts seeing the signs of your soon to be disappearance.

“Yes, and that is why I need you to sit and listen to me.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, raising a brow as he sat in your bed, waiting for you to speak. “what is it?”

“I am going away,” you said.

“Yes. I know this.”

You sighed, hands playing with the buttons on your dress. “On a ship Jaehyun.”

His face twisted into an emotion you couldn't place. Hurt. Nausea. Disbelief. Maybe it was none of those, maybe it was all, but you didn't know how to combat it. You didn't know what to say or think or do. All that you knew was that he didn't like what just came out of your mouth.

“Jaehyun,” you called out, trying to break the silence that stood between you. “Please say something.”

But he didn't. He sat there in silence wondering where everything went wrong, what he could've done differently, how he would have fought for you harder. He sat wondering if he would ever see you again, or if you would ever want to see him again. Jaehyun didn't have it in him to shed a tear, feeling himself slowly go numb right before you.

“Jaehyun,” you call again, voice shaking in fear. “I know this is sudden and last minute, but I'm making this decision for me…”

“I'm not mad,” he said quietly. “Just a bit shocked.”

“I'm… I'm sorry.” You sit a distance away from him on your bed, eyes staring at your hands.

“So this means I'll never see you again,” he mumbled, a permanent frown on his face.

You turn to him, brows for rowing in sadness. “You'll see me again.”

“When Y/N,” he sighed in frustration. “In another 10, 50 years? I can't wait that long. My heart won't allow it.”

“Well neither can mine,” you argue back, body now fully turned to him. “My heart can't allow myself to see you married and having children with another woman. I can't let myself see someone else live out the dream I so desperately wanted. I have to get away.”

“But… Why now? Why leave me now?” Jaehyun scooted closer to you, taking your hands in his.

“This isn't about you. This is about me.”

“What about us?”

“Jaehyun can't you see? there is no us,” you say. The look of shock and hurt slashed across his face, almost making you regret your words. “there could never be an “us.” That's why I must leave.”

“I'll go with you,” he says.

You let out a small laugh, the absurd statement amusing you at the difficult time. “Jaehyun, you cannot come with me.”

“Then what must I do to make sure that there is still an “us?” Should I renounce my role as the prince of this kingdom? Should I beg for you to stay?”

“No, no Jaehyun- stop this at once. Stand up!”

Jaehyun was now kneeling in front of you, eyes staring wildly into your eyes. He had so much emotion he barely knew what he was doing at this point. All his self respect ran from his body as soon as he walked into the room, he didn't care for titles or status, just you and him.

“If this won't work, then what will?”

You open your mouth, but then close it as you look at him. He didn't like this look. It was full of pity. You pitied him, and that's something he never wanted from you. He always wanted to look strong for you, but now that you were going to be gone in a couple of hours, he was desperate.

“I'm not staying no matter what you try,” you said, watching his hopeful expression deflate. “I will not grow a child under a roof where the man I love is with someone else and that woman would rather see my head on a stick.”

Jaehyun stood back up with a sigh, eyes never leaving your relaxed figure. If these were his last moments with you, he needed to make this count. Time was running out and he needed to make sure you left with only him on your mind. He needed to remember how your hands felt on his skin, how your lips felt on his. He wanted to be etched into every crevice of your mind 5 years from now.

“We don't have much time left and I don't want to argue with you,” he stated. “you want to leave, very well. But promise me we will see each other again.”

A surprise gasp escaped your lips. “Jaehyun, now you know-”

“Please, just promise me,” he said.

“I promise,” you said softly. “We will meet again. I promise. A year from now, maybe 50, we will see each other again.”

Jaehyun grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet. Before you could gauge the moment, his lips crashed onto yours, the taste to honey so familiar to you lingering on your tongue. “Never forget me,” he said against your lips. He held onto your clothes tight, pulling your body closer to his.

“One last time,” he said softly.

You swallowed hard, eyes fluttering open. “I don't have much time left.”

Jaehyun gave you a soft smile, his gaze remaining as gentle as ever. “Don't worry about that. Just worry about me and you, okay?”

For once you decided to let yourself relax and listen, nodding to his words. You no longer had anything to lose since losing everything already. So against your better judgment, you nodded, following his pace as he kissed you deeply over and over. Jaehyun wasted no time, magnetic pull on his hands to the buttons on your dress. Only difference was that they were in the front now.

His fingers worked on the tiny buttons, lips smirking against yours feeling your impatience. The amount of time it was taking him was agonizing to you, but secretly you were happy he was taking his time. While you wanted to rip the bandage off, you also wanted to savor him.

“I would give anything for you to miss that ship,” he said, unlatching the last button. Jaehyun pulled the sleeves of your dress off your arms, kissing down to your neck.

“Please,” you whisper, breath hitching as you feel your dress drop to the floor. “Don't make this harder than it has to be.”

Jaehyun gave you a soft chuckle, kissing back up your neck and jawline. “Sit down.”

You did as he said, his hooded eyes staring at you. Jaehyun unbuttoned his shirt, fingers moving so delicately. He pulled the fabric off his body swiftly, placing the shirt on your neatly made bed. Without saying a word, he gets on his knees, the action making you gulp.

“I'm going to miss you,” he said softly, hands rubbing your legs. You couldn't say anything, not when he was pressing kisses on your thigh, down to your knees.

“I'm going to miss every part of you..” Jaehyun spread your thighs, pushing your undergarments away. “You'll miss me too?”

You nod.

“Words, Y/N. Speak to me.” He took your leg, placing it on his strong shoulder. His hands took your sides, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed.

“Y-yes, I'll miss you.” Your body shivered at the feeling of his lips on your skin as he kissed your inner thigh, core aching for contact that he won't give.

He kisses your clit, eyes staring at you from below. He thinks he will remember this for the rest of his life, the way you look above him, the soft sighs that leave your lips when he touches you, the way your skin tastes.

“I'll miss you ” he whispers, placing another kiss. “The way you taste” – kiss – “the way you feel” – kiss – “the way you sound.”

Jaehyun held your body as his lips and tongue kept going at your clit, enjoying every single moan you let out. You let yourself shed the last bit of control you had and tangled your hands in his hair. You were going to miss his pretty brown curly hair. Your body shudders at the soft and slow movements, mind and body drifting into a state of relaxation and forgetting about having to be at the dock in some time.

Jaehyun watched you watch him, your glossy eyes staring into his as you allowed yourself one last moment of recklessness. Your soft moans were music to his ears. Jaehyun sucked your clit softly, needing more from you. The feeling made your legs try to come together, but with one on his shoulder, all he could do was chuckle at the unsuccessful attempt.

“J-Jaehyun,” you whined softly, the sound of his name on your lips ending a tingle up his spine.

“You like this” he says, voice slightly muffled.

He watched you nod frantically, tongue licking up your arousal. “How much Y/N? Tell me.”

“So so much.”

Jaehyun's hands gripped your sides harder and began to let his mouth work on you harder. He was rock hard in his pants, erection straining against the fabric. He wanted so badly to lay you on your back and take you, but you looked so angelic above him. He sucked on your clit again, bringing out whines of his name over and over.

“God, you sound so pretty,” he mumbled. “I want you to remember this every time you think of me.”

Jaehyun was always so good with words, knowing exactly what to say to make your heart flutter. “I want you to think of me every time you touch yourself..”

You couldn't even speak, the pleasure filling your body quickly as he began to eat you out with much more vigor. He barely touched you, but you were so close already.

“I will,” you said softly.

“God I love you so much..” Jaehyun flicked his tongue faster, making you breathe harder and faster. The leg that was on his shoulder trembled, heel pulling him closer to your body. “You're close aren't you?”

You nodded, brows furrowing as you closed your eyes, throwing your head back. “Keep going, just like that… I'm so close.” Your hips rocked against his face, his tongue now inside you as his nose bumped your clit with each movement.

In just a couple of seconds you came, legs shaking and moans flowing into his ears. Jaehyun groaned softly, his saliva and your arousal mixing with every lick. His eyes never left yours, your expression so perfect and sounds so addicting he couldn't stop even when you were gasping for air from the overstimulation.

“It's okay, love. I got you,” he said, watching you grip your bed hard. “One more time. Do it for me.”

Your body was on fire, all senses heightened because of the man in front of you. Jaehyun didn't let up even when you couldn't speak and you loved it. The only things leaving your mouth were moans and incoherent babbles. One hand tangled in his hair, gripping it harder as you pulled him closer.

“I'm cumming,” you said in a soft gasp.

The noises that filled the room were sinful, making you cringe but turning you on even more. His eyes never left yours as you came, hands still molding your body like clay. You let go of his hair, breathing heavily as you attempted to recover from all the pleasure you received. Jaehyun put your leg down gently, lifting himself from your body. Your face went hot seeing the mess you made, arousal on his lips, chin nose.

He took the back of his hand, wiping his face before rising to his feet. “Lay back.”

You did as he said, watching him as he stood in front of your bed, undressing before you. He wasted no time climbing on top of you, body so close you could feel the heat radiating from his body. He was so pretty, no painting could ever truly capture it. Everything from his hair to his legs was a sight for sore eyes and you loved every part of him.

Jaehyun leaned down and kissed you, his strong arms trapping you underneath his body. He kissed you face softly, from the corner of your mouth to your forehead making you giggle softly.

“What's so amusing,” he said, looking down at you.

You shook your head, moving your hand to his face cupping his cheek softly. “You're cute.”

He stares at you for a second, but smiles, kissing you once again. “When you're on that ship I want you to remember how cute I am.”

Jaehyun lifted his body off yours, hands sliding down your waist to your hips to your legs, lifting them to your chest. You watched his hand move from your leg to his cock, shifting himself deeper between your legs. Jaehyun rubbed his tip on your slit, teasing you.

“God, you're wet,” he mumbled. You moaned softly, feeling him rub himself on your clit, your hands gripping your legs harder as you held them close to your chest. “I'm gonna miss this..” Jaehyun slides into you almost too easily, your cunt sucking him in effortlessly. The both of you let out a sigh of relief when your bodies connected. He rocked his hips into your slowly, the squelching sounds filling the room. Your bed cracked with every movement, the sound of your soft moans blending in with one another.

“You're mine,” he said, voice bringing you out of the trance you were in. “Only mine.”

“Only yours,” you nod.

Jaehyun removes your hands from your legs, pulling them apart. “There goes that pretty face.” He leans down, kissing you instantly. He was going to miss your kisses the most, the way you moaned into his mouth when he felt too good, the way your lips molded with his in the most perfect way possible. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers running through the back of his hair.

“I love you so much,” you whispered into his mouth. Jaehyun thrusted into you faster, now going at a steady pace. He pulls away from you, kissing down your neck messily. You needed more situations so you reached down between your bodies to touch yourself, but Jaehyun took your hands and held them above your head.

“Cum from my cock, okay? Can you do that for me,” he groaned softly.

You nod with a whine, head sinking into your pillow as he started fucking you harder. “F-fuck, oh my God, you feel so good.”

He thrusted into you like his life depended on it, which it did. You were what breathed for, lived for, and would die for even. Even with you underneath him you already felt so far away, and he hated that.

Your body shook under him, legs involuntary spreading even wider as he thrust deeper into you. Your body was on fire, never feeling so vulnerable in his touch and loving it all the same.

“Remember what it feels like to be around my cock,” he said against your ear, smiling at your whimpers. “Remember that no man could make you feel as good as this..”

You nod fast, brows furrowing as Jaehyun's grip on your wrist tightens . “I'm close,” you gasp, feeling his other hand rubbing your neglected clit. Jaehyun moves his lips above yours, but doesn't kiss you. His body is too wrapped in pleasure to do anything but thrust until he cums inside you. The sounds of both of your pants filling your ears, completely overstimulated you, making you squeeze around your lover.

“Fuck, oh my god,” he moaned softly, lips brushing against yours. “Y/N, I-Im close, shit.”

Jaehyun lets go of your wrists, finally freeing your hands from above your head. You immediately grab the back of his head, pulling him down to kiss him hungrily. Moaning against his lips, you feel your legs begin to tire and hurt, but the hurt blends with the pleasure well. Your moans got louder with every time he hit your sensitive spot, walls fluttering around him. You came hard, with a loud cry chanting his name over and over.

Jaehyun held you close to him, still thrusting in you groaning into your neck. “Almost there, I'm almost there Y/N.”

After a few thrust, Jaehyun lets go into you, painting your insides white. Everything was intense even after the fact. Emotions still running high, hearts beating fast, minds racing for the both of you. Jaehyun rested his face on your neck, laying still as he tried to regain energy listening to your heart beat. That's when he heard a sniffle from you and then another.

“Are you crying,” he asked quietly, still not raising his head to look at you.

“Yes.” Your voice was quiet and calm, the tears falling down your cheeks landing on Jaehyun's ears, making him sigh. He lifted himself off you, laying next to you on your tiny bed. In that moment you missed his warmth even though he was still right next to you.

You stared at the ceiling trying to ignore Jaehyun's eyes burning into your side. You both lay in silence for a while, lost in thought.

“Do you think you can wait till tomorrow,” he says, breaking the silence.

“There will be no more ships till next week,” you answer. “if Rose knows I'm here–”

“Please don't talk about her.” His voice was almost as quiet as a whisper, making you turn to look at him for the first time in a while. “I wish it was here instead.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wish she had to leave,” he mumbled. He swung his arm around your body, pulling you closer to him. “I wish I could have you here forever. Me, you and…”

He paused his gaze slowly lowering to your stomach.”

You follow his gaze, a tired smile tugging at your lips. “Hyacinth.”

“Hyacinth,” he repeats. “That's your favorite flower.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “If it is a girl, that's what I will name her.”

Jaehyun chuckles softly, lips pressing your shoulder softly. “And if it's a boy?”

“Your name,” you say. Jaehyun stops breathing for a second, the thumb that's rubbing circles in your side stops.

“Really,” he asks, eyes becoming softer.

You nod. The way he looks at you makes you feel like you're the only person in the world and still in your last moments with him, it makes you sad. In a moment's time, you will both have to get up, get dressed, and leave the room, never to be there or in the castle ever again. All you want to do is be delusional and happy, but your mind won't let you.

“I wasn't completely honest earlier,” you say, sighing deeply. “I never told you that sometimes I dreamed of leaving here and traveling the world.”

“It's okay. Now you have a chance to.”

“I've always wanted to do it with you,” you admit. “That's another reason I chose to leave. It was for my sanity. And if I couldn't do it with you, at least I could do it with a part of you.”

Jaehyun kisses you softly, rough hand squeezing your side so tight, you thought he would never let you go. But now it's time for him to let you go and he will grieve this loss for much more time than he hoped. He let you go, his arm moving painfully slow trying to make these last seconds of intimacy count for something. You both sat up, knowing the time has come for you to regain your strength and fulfill your last duty to the castle, which is to leave.

“I love you Y/N. Promise you love me too.”

“I promise.”

[milkteabinniechan]

Pink Carnations

A Bridgerton Story♡

commissions // m.list

pairing: Felix Lee x female reader x Bang Chan

contents: you're all set to marry the illustrious Felix Lee but your heart belongs to another, and now the whole town knows who that is.

you can read chapter one here ♡

CHAPTER TWO

The entire room was watching you now. Their eyes pierced and pulled you apart limb from limb. Everyone in town was here. And now everyone in town had read the latest gossip.

Your sister made her way to you and gently placed her hand on your shoulder. She didn't say a word but her face told you how awful she felt for you. She was the only one who truly knew about your feelings for Chan. And she was the one who covered for you when you snuck out to meet him under the cover of darkness.

The last person to enter the room was your groom to be. He stood silent for a moment, pamphlet in hand. His pressed white suit layed perfectly across his slender frame. When he began to walk towards you, the room divided and split like The Red Sea. The only sound that could be heard was expensive shoes against fine marble floors. His eyes never left your face as he took one final step in front of you.

The room hung heavy with anticipation while wedding guests waited to see what the newly disgraced young man would say. Your breathing was beginning to become staggered as the intense grip of your corset made its presence known. All you could do was stare while you watched Felix's mouth part and open, ready to speak.

"Why is everyone just standing around?" He turned his body towards the crowd of people. "We've got a wedding to get to!" He smiled warmly and gave a knowing look to the staff, who immediately understood and began ushering people to the outside courtyard.

Felix then turned his attention to you. He leaned into the curve of your neck and whispered we need to talk. You nodded your head and allowed him to lead you into a nearby room, your Father's former study, and watched as he closed the door behind him. He stayed by the door for a few moments, gathering his thoughts and perhaps even his dignity.

"I can explai-" you began.

"Here's what is going to happen, princess," Felix's tone had changed from the sunny disposition you were used to. Your heart fluttered for an instant.

"Princess?" You snapped. You had changed your tone as well.

"We're getting married today. This union is going to be fortuitous for both of our families. It is what must be done." He spoke while adjusting his shirt collar in the mirror on the wall beside him. He checked his cufflinks and fixed his hair.

You scrunched your nose at the bluntness of his words. You knew that this was the best choice for your family. You didn't need him telling you that. You watched him adjust and fix and prim in the mirror. He truly was gorgeous. And that fact alone made your blood boil. You loved to look at him. And you worried that he knew that.

Felix turned sharply toward you. He sauntered over to you as if nothing bothered him. As though he had completely control. He stepped close to you, so close that you faltered slightly and landed against your Father's writing desk. Felix continued to lean in towards you. His face just inches from your own. His full lips parted somewhat as your chest instinctually pulled into him. You had never been this close to him before. He smelled like rain in the early morning. Your heart began to quicken.

His eyes scanned your entire body. Starting at your neck, moving down your shoulders, your waist, your hips. Ultimately landing and lingering on your face. He adjusted his footing for a moment as you noticed his pants getting tighter, and something growing. It was as if he was looking right through you. Finally he spoke.

"And if it is any consolation, Princess. You weren't my first choice either."

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[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she love her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

ii. two: you felt so happy

the first ball, certainly one of the highlights of the season. it is indeed as grand as people have talked about. the lights, the decorations, the flowers, the performances—they were perfect. on top of that, loraine is a night person, which is why the ton should prepare for a doubled exuberance.

arriving a bit late than most other families who were so eager to catch a match for their offsprings, the silvas entered the hall together as raine compliments with awe.

"lady danbury's balls are always extraordinary, truly worthy of hosting the first of every season."

armand turned to her with an incredulous look, "agatha does not have balls."

she deadpanned at her father and discreetly whisper-yelled, "oh, heavens! stop trying to get us beheaded all the time!"

"it do makes me wonder why i haven't told the queen to behead you yet, armand." the host's voice engulfed them from behind. they both turned to her with a sheepish grin.

"lady danbury, it's a wonderful... ball." raine applaused after letting go of her father, "i must go and greet the queen."

she walked straight away, looking at armand one last time as she put both her fists up in shoulder level as if to cheer him on. the man could do nothing but offer a death smile to his daughter.

as rebellious as she is, raine is still of noble and respectful upbringing. we will not reveal that she did think twice if she should greet the queen or she can just go straight to the drinks. she did end up choosing to greet her. that is what matters, right?

and so she bowed gracefully to her. duty done. as she stood back up, with an utter pretentious smile, she was more than excited to make her way to the beverages.

"loraine," the queen called with familiarity and her steps halted, turning to her majesty once again. ah, so she's speaking as a family friend and not the queen.

"whatever is that sparkling on your leg?"

raine was confused for a moment, before she remembered what she could have possibly put their that was shiny. she turned back to her with a mischievous smirk.

"just an accessory, aunt lottie. it's a must-have."

she replied with full confidence, despite the fact that it is quite clearly shaped like a dagger. of course, it is an accessory. it can be considered as one, moreso that it is quite strapped on her.

she smiled dearly once again before curtsying to leave. as she was out on earshot, the queen turned to brimsley.

"i wish i had done that when i was young."

now that all is done, she cannot wait to taste what kind of drinks they serve during balls as she eagerly continues on her path to the beverages. she swiftly took a glass and sipped it with delight.

"you took the wrong glass. lemonade is here."

her eyes narrowed at that, hinting the arrival of a not-so-welcomed presence. the viscount bridgerton, with his wife and younger brother, joined her after spotting the young lady across the room.

"i can outdrink you."

"i'd like to see you try." kate slapped her husband's arm at the unnecessary challenge. kate is reasonably competitive. anthony? he's the most competitive at wrong times.

raine smirked at kate as the latter winked at her. she turns to the viscount, "i did not take you as someone who loves balls."

before he could answer, benedict interjected after taking a glass of his own, "he has two of them."

the eldest closed his eyes and sighed at the immature comment, "say that in front of her father if you think it's funny."

"oh, please don't. they'll both laugh for hours." she shuddered at the thought, just as the current dance ended.

anthony finished his glass as he looked at his wife for a while before turning to the two, "well, excuse us. i must take my wife to the dance floor."

he lead her to the dance floor without even waiting for their reply. raine scrunched her nose as benedict continues to sip on his own, leaning on the standing round table.

"anthony dances in these events?"

"only since last year, when he decided to actively participate in balls."

she immediately turned to him, mirroring the incredulous look her father had earlier, "why are you saying it like that?"

"why am i saying what like?" benedict turned to her as well, tilting his head and propping it on his palm.

"stop."

"balls?"

raine gave out a grumble, turning her attention back to her drink as the bridgerton laughed at her reaction. they both observed the ball with a comforting silence before benedict saw an interesting sight.

"your father is laughing. i must say, lord silva is really paradoxical."

her brow raised at the mention, "he always does. he just hates you, and don't say that word to him. he'll think it's a compliment."

"it is a compliment."

"it's not."

"wait, lord silva hates me?" upon realising the previous statement, he straightened his back.

the girl simply nodded as a grin made its way on her lips, "he thinks you put a love curse on me."

he dramatically placed a hand on his chest, "you are more likely to do that to me than i to you."

"you know me so well." she laughed as she raised her glass to him which he followed. upon the cue of the music ending once again, he gulped his drink, moving to her other side.

"i do hope you have not given away your very first dance to some other man."

she screamed, internally screamed, and she could almost not hold the grin that was aching to escape her lips, "hm? what ever do you mean to say?"

benedict chuckled, completely seeing through her. he moved to block her view of the dance floor, his left hand manly placed on the lumbar of his back as he offered the other in between them.

"loraine silva, may i be your first dance?"

she beamed at him, drinking the rest of her glass at once as she placed her own hand at the care of his.

"i thought you'd never ask."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

raine, as talkative as she is, could not find the confidence to do so at the moment. all she could think of was his hands, smell, and body. yes, she grew up with them, but she had never danced with this man in front of her before.

anthony, yes, when he did a poor attempt to cheer her up—which ended up successful because he looked ridiculous. colin, yes, when he offered to be her dance partner as she was practicing after classes. but benedict? she has never even saw the man dance.

so, currently in their second dance, she finally found her voice, "can i just say, i feel so happy i could die."

he laughed as he twirled her, "you have said that a thousand times before."

"genuinely this time." raine intimately uttered as she looked at him in the eye.

"also," she added, continuing with a charming smirk after another twirl, "ever thought of marrying me?"

he narrowed his eyes with a smirk of his own at her, "oh, you opportunistic minx."

"that one i'll gladly take as a compliment." raine proudly grinned, pushing further, "so?"

"let me think," he acted as if he was thinking deeply on the answer before turning back to her, "no."

raine gave a mocked sigh, chuckling right after, "a girl can only try."

the pair continued to dance, sneaking chats and gossips with laughter as they do so. with the music ending, he leads her off of the dance floor.

"well, what must i do now?" she said, now back with the beverages.

"dance, drink, have fun! just as there's no shortage of ladies, men too."

raine groaned at the mention of other bachelors, "ugh, i don't want to dance with other men."

benedict smiled at her adamant refusal of them, "darling, a ball is thrown to socialise."

"i'll socialise with you then."

"we have, for fourteen years already."

she smiled mischievously again, "are you counting?"

he pinched her right cheek as he proceeded to make faces, as if talking to a child, "it's simple mathematics." he laughed as she swatted his hand, standing straight up again.

"for one, you could save your father from lady townbridge. i doubt you'd like her for a mother."

raine groaned once again as the bridgerton boy bid his farewell, "ugh, i don't even like her as a person."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the young silva wandered around the ball, trying to find another source of fun. for some time, she stood near lady blackstow and lady vaughan, eavesdropping for a juicy gossip, but all she learned was their husbands' unhygienic activities. she tried to engage with others, hopping from person to person, but could not find them entertaining.

so, when she heard quite the laughter and cheers from the opposite side of a door, she did not even think twice to open it.

"well, what do we have here?" raine, with the largest grin ever, whispered to herself in joy.

the room was a heaven for her. it was full of things she finally deem as fun. there were people playing billiards on her left, cards on the other, drinking at the front, and—that's a familiar face.

"raphael! i didn't know you came back from duty." she greeted as she walked towards the man playing cards, tipping her head to the others surrounding the table as greetings.

the said man turned to the her with a surprised look, "lor—what are you doing here?"

"i'm a debutante?"

"no—" he paused at the misunderstanding, "like here."

"oh, i'm..." she began with a smile before turning to look around the place with more attention, "oh."

there were no women present. not a single strand of lengthy hair. nevertheless, she believe it was not a problem at all, turning back to the table with an excited smile.

"and she pulled up a seat." raphael muttered as the girl inserts a chair in between.

"how come no one told me there's a place like this in a ball?!"

the man placed his palms on his face, whisper-yelling right after, "general's going to kill me!"

"enjoy your remaining time then." raine laughed at his exaggeration as the other men began a new round, "now, watch me beat you all."

and she did! they've been at it now for four rounds. the men, varying in ages, wondered if they should be amazed or insulted by her.

"suck it up, boys." she whispered mockingly to raphael with a teasing smile.

however, her smile and his annoyance were quickly changed with a panic look as he noticed the clock hitting ten. he immediately rushed for raine to took cover on the opposite end of the table, a blind spot from the door.

"general." he greeted with a salute as the said man did arrive on the dot.

"raphael, it's a ball." he reminded, easing the younger one from the salute, "have you seen loraine?"

"loraine?" he awkwardly laughs, which is not helping the situation at all, "no, sir."

"notify leo and—" her father's voice was fading away as he and raphael walked outdoor.

as she stayed still and kept her gaze in front of her, she noticed a familiar head across the room, staring at her with a dumbfounded look. anthony mouthed at her, "what in the hell are you doing?"

on the other hand, as raphael has led the higher-ranking officer in a private corner, he spoke in a hushed voice, "loraine is inside, sir."

the general closed his eyes to compose himself, the activities of his daughter can be quite infuriating at times, "i suppose that's better, isn't it?" he asked as he puff on his cigar before continuing, "keep an eye on her. ford and smith will keep me updated."

raphael nodded, taking in the order as armand exhaled the smoke before walking away,

"and stop playing cards. she'll beat you all."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

"is father away?" raine asked, raphael affirming. she moved her seat to make room for the latter.

"come, the viscount is betting."

the table has gotten bigger in his return, with the bridgerton son joining them. he offered a hand to shake which the viscount took firmly. he greeted, "raphael montague, pleased to be of acquaintance."

anthony's brows raised at that inquiringly, "you don't happen to be the raphael, do you?"

"how do you mean?"

"oh, lan—" he held his tongue, just realising what he was about to say. he regained his composure with a light cough, "you were mentioned a couple of times in passing."

raine rolled her eyes, "you can say his name, you know. it's not a curse."

raphael replied to the other man with a chuckle, "i hope only the good things."

anthony laughed, remembering a story, "the grenade?"

"oh, please no." he held his head down with a short laugh.

the young silva clapped as another round was about to start, "less talking, more playing, gentlemen."

the round started fiercely, but luck seemed to be on raine's side for the night as she has been getting a good hand. as the rest revealed their set of cards, a cheering and smug raine and an annoyed raphael and anthony are what's left of the round. a tap on the viscount's shoulder distracted him.

"anthony, here you are. mother is—what are you doing here?"

"why is everyone asking that?" raine crossed her brows in annoyance, "you said i should have fun."

benedict turned to her completely from his brother, "this is not what i meant."

"i am having fun."

he laughed mockingly, "do you even play well?"

at the question, groans can be heard as the men were reminded of themselves losing. raine, however, was as pleased as she can be.

"anyone you see here has lost to me."

he rolled his eyes as he shrugged it off, "that's because they've had a drink."

"try it yourself, bridgerton." a man chuckled and voiced it out as a challenge.

the younger bridgerton turned to him smoothly, "you're not going to manipulate me into—"

"scared?"

raine taunted, she knew benedict so well.

"never."

he stated as the older bridgerton stood up and patted his brother's shoulders before leaving for their mother's call.

"what should we wager?" she asked, leaning back on the seat.

"if i win, you won't go into gentlemen's clubs anymore."

her lips formed a thin line at that, yet she slowly nodded, "agreeable."

"inside or outside of the balls."

raine jerked from her seat at once, "that's too much."

now, it's benedicts turn to lean back with a smirk, "i'm going to tell your father."

she likes him dearly, really. but, an irritated look manifested on her features, "alright, you're going to play like this, benedict?"

always with a flair for theatrics, she acted as if rolling her invisible sleeves before placing her wager on the table.

"if i win, you're going to marry me."

his eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing again, seemingly finding the words to say, "that is what's too much."

"these gentlemen are witnesses, ben." she gestured with ease to the men now surrounding their table.

"you are insane."

"only for the things i love, darling."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

"lady silva lost."

a man declared as the rest are still in silence. the game was close, so utterly close that they were about to get their wives or inform their mothers of a wedding happening soon. however, as they were nearing the end, the silva girl made a huge error, costing her the chance to marry the object of her affections and the object of her fun.

"okay, but including within balls like this is too much, ben. this is the only entertaining thing in these events!" the gradual change of her tone from acceptance to whining in just two sentences was astounding.

"these gentlemen are witnesses, raine."

she blew out an exasperated breath at the smugness of the man sitting opposite her. she was about to retort when a voice from a man near the door announced.

"lord silva is coming!"

she hurriedly stood up, aiming for the door that would lead directly outside the mansion, to the gardens. raine turned back to them with a grin, saluting to them all with a hint.

"boys, i'll put in a good word to the ladies."

she departed the room just before her father's imposing figure arrived from the other door with a curious brow raised.

"why are you all so tense?"

outside, raine put a hand on a pillar to support herself as she catch her breath. her father's giving her so much exercise these days that she cannot wait for him to return to duty.

"we always seem to be escaping from your father." the young lady jumped in surprise with a hand on her chest at the voice, calming as she saw who it was.

"ben? what are you doing here?"

"well, what was i supposed to do? let you run off on your own? this late at night?" he lightly rubbed her back and asked in a mocking tone, as if pointing out the obvious.

"you know what, you are paradoxical." she stood straight again, lifting her hand from the pillar as she's getting her breath back, "you do things like this but you will not marry me."

benedict raised both his arms as if in surrender, "i am simply caring for you, like anthony and colin do. they would have done the same had they been in my position now. that does not equate to marriage."

"we're unchaperoned." she easily pointed out again, looking at him directly now.

"well—" the bridgerton began, racking his brain on what to say in his defense. he turned to raine yieldingly.

"it really is not a compliment."

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[quotergirl19]

As fun as it would be to have Colin shock and stand up to Portia to ask for Penelope’s hand in marriage, I’d also like to see Portia stand up for Penelope against Colin because she’s heard about what he said at Featherington ball too and she wants better for her daughter than a man who’s so oblivious to her daughter’s feelings.

Colin: Thank you for seeing me Lady Featherington. I am here because I would like to marry Penelope. I have come to ask for her hand.

Portia: Well this is unexpected. Particularly because the gossip amongst servants following my ball last season was that you declared to anyone with ears that you would never want Penelope. I am sorry to disappoint you but she has a suitor. Lord Debling has intentions to propose. Penelope is to be a titled lady.

Colin: You would refuse me in favor of a man neither of you truly know.

Portia: He is a titled gentleman whose position demands respect and he has courted my daughter faithfully and doted on her.

Colin: And what about your daughter’s happiness? Do you not think Penelope should be able to decide for herself? She might be happier with me.

Portia: Penelope has done well for herself this season. In part, I believe, because she has finally stopped pining for you.

Colin: What can you mean?

Portia: What I mean is that I have observed Penelope as she watched you flirting and dancing with every pretty young lady you could get in front of, and then she watched you nearly marry her cousin. You never looked to her once but now you say you wish to marry her? You are a fickle-hearted man with a wandering eye and no regard for my daughter’s feelings. Marriage to you would guarantee her constant humiliation among the ton.

Colin: I was a boy then. I did not know any better. But I would never be unfaithful or seek the favor of other women if I were to marry Penelope. I would be faithful to her.

Portia: Her father once said the same thing to me yet once we wed, he spent all his time gambling and whoring and I was forced to endure in silence. You do not love my daughter. Why are you choosing Penelope, why now?

Colin: I care very much for Penelope. I wish to ensure her happiness and safety.

Portia: Lord Debling will do that Sir. You are free to continue practicing your flirtatiousness with every beautiful woman you meet, far away from my daughter. I shall not condone you distracting her any more.

Colin: You refuse me without even allowing Penelope the choice of who she would prefer for a husband?

Portia: No. I have seen the look in her eyes when you work your charm on her. I ask that you stay away. I know what is best for her… and it is not the boy who made her cry for months because she believed that he actually cared about her only to find out he was acting out of pity.

Colin: I made her cry? Penelope and I have discussed that night. I know she was angry and hurt but she said she forgave me. She never said…

Portia: Did you need it spelled out for you? Very well, you broke her heart. I will not give her to you so you can break her spirit too. The answer is no Mr. Bridgerton, please see yourself out.

[bosbas]

Hi I just read you’re Colin and Benedict series and I just wanted to say how much I loved them both. I can’t wait to see what you write next. We need another chapter about Benedict and y/n children. Again: absolutely adore you’re writing 🌻🌼

Thank you so much my love!! And you are absolutely correct, I did need more of Benedict and y/n. here's a very quick lil drabble! I hope you enjoy <3 Also, they're using non-toxic paint which I am pretty sure is historically accurate lol. 

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings

series masterlist

pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 1.6k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, alluding to sex, benedict and y/n having kids, benedict and y/n being very in love

March 14, 1824 – Y/I,

I apologize for not being there as you wake, but I have undertaken a special project with our children. We are not to be disturbed at all today if you can help it.

I asked Anthony to procure you the book you were so intent on finding, and he has, as is typical, been able to find it with relative ease. The book should be waiting for you downstairs at the breakfast table.

Yours,

B

You giggled, giddy as you read your husband’s note. Benedict had been away visiting with a French artist for a few weeks, and you had been left to take care of the children on your own (with the help of their governess, of course). And while you did love them dearly, caring for three small children left you little time to yourself.

After Ben had come home the previous night, he had promised you a surprise in the morning, and a day to yourself was truly one of the best things he could give you.

Sighing contentedly, you descended the stairs so you could begin reading in the gardens as soon as possible. As you passed Benedict's studio, you heard quite a commotion going on inside but decided against investigating. You had an entire day to yourself, after all. Might as well enjoy it.

---

After several hours of reading and only a few breaks in between, you decided that, no matter how much the quiet solitude was relaxing, you had simply missed your best friend too much to stay away. 

Knocking firmly on the studio door so that you could be heard above the noise, you eagerly awaited any indication of what your children had been doing with their father all morning and a better part of the afternoon. 

"Just a second!" called Benedict, and you heard bouts of giggling and rummaging. 

"How long is a second?" you asked after a few moments. 

Opening the door wide, Benedict smiled as he lay eyes on you. Sneaking a quick kiss on your lips and grabbing your waist as he led you into his studio, he said jokingly, "Impatient as ever, I see."

"Only for you," you smiled sweetly, pecking him on the cheek. 

Leaning down to whisper in your ear, Ben responded, "Oh, after last night, I'm quite certain I knew that already."

You gasped, scandalized, and hit Benedict on the arm. 

"Ben!" you chastised lowly, not amused in the slightest. "The children are here."

He only laughed at you.

"The children are quite busy, actually," he pointed out, nodding over to where your two daughters were helping their youngest brother smear paint on a canvas. 

"Is that what you've been doing all day?"

Benedict nodded proudly, scooping up your oldest into his arms while your other daughter remained focused on directing your youngest. 

"Do you want to tell Mama what you've done, Poppy?" he prompted.

"Papa says it's a masterpiece," she said smugly, pointing over Benedict's shoulder to a canvas that had what looked to be a big house surrounded by flowers. "It's our cottage!"

You gasped in delight, looking at all the different flowers she painted. "That certainly looks like our garden, doesn't it? And I do believe that is a poppy, just like your name" you commented, giving her a kiss on the top of her head. 

"And what have the rest of you done?" you asked your remaining children, who by now had collectively given up on Cedric's painting. 

"Cedric, of course, has created a more... abstract piece," said Benedict, looking thoughtful as he assessed the mess of colors in front of your son. 

Being only two years old, he certainly did not have any sort of artistic direction in terms of painting, but it seemed like he had a wonderful time nonetheless. 

You laughed at Ben's commentary but ultimately agreed that your son's artwork was wonderful. 

"Mine is the best," said your other daughter, Lily. "Look, Mama! Doesn't it look just like you?"

Holding up what could only be described as a giant jumble of lines and two barely discernible circles that could be construed as yes, Lily looked as proud as ever. 

You choked back a laugh, making eye contact with Benedict. "Is that me?" you asked your daughter, who was still positively beaming as she held up her painting.

"Yes! Papa has so many paintings of you in here I thought I might try to do one of my own. And look, I even drew a flower here," she said, pointing to an area you supposed was your hand. 

"Oh, I look lovely, don't I?" you commented, rather touched that your daughter had taken the time to paint you, no matter how unrecognizable you looked. "Thank you, darling," you said, placing a kiss atop her head, too. 

"It's got lots of potential," said Benedict thoughtfully. "Just some shading here and there, and it'll be good enough to go in the National Gallery."

You smiled sweetly at his mock seriousness, thoroughly enjoying seeing him in his element with your young children. You supposed that was what marriage was all about. Seeing bits and pieces of your husband in your children. And you couldn't be more thankful it had been Benedict that you ended up with. 

"Thank you," you whispered to him after he let Poppy go help Lily add some color to her painting. 

"I love you," he whispered in return, holding your hand gently and interlacing your fingers. 

---

Later that night, as you were applying all of the creams your lady's maid had insisted you apply before bed, you turned to look at Ben, who was already half asleep. 

"Are you coming to bed soon or am I going to have to carry you here myself," he grumbled. 

You laughed softly, shaking your head. "Who's impatient now?" you teased. 

"I swear I will do it," Ben answered sitting up and crossing his arms as he blinked the sleepiness away. 

You finished up and went over to his side of the bed, putting your arms around his neck as he placed his around your waist. You squealed as he used his hold to drag you into bed so you were lying down next to him, and he proceeded to run his fingers over your lips as he stared at you.  

"I barely slept while I was away. It just wasn't quite the same when I didn't have you in my arms. And besides, I had no one to talk to after every day of looking at wonderful art," Ben said softly, smiling as he looked you up and down. "I missed your face. It's quite a breathtaking one if I do say so myself."

"You might be a bit biased," you teased.

Then, after a beat, "I love you, you know," you said, kissing him softly. "Did the children tire you out today?"

Benedict shook his head, "They're quite remarkable. I do think Poppy will be your clone soon enough. She's far too clever for her own good."

Then, smiling mischievously, Ben said lowly, "And especially now that you're in bed with me I suddenly find myself with bounds of energy."

"I'm sure you do," you responded cheekily, fluttering your eyes shut as he leaned down to kiss you. 

As his lips moved against yours, you felt the same butterflies you had felt years earlier. It seemed they had made a permanent home in your stomach, and they only came to light when Ben did something like this. Three weeks away had been far too many, and you had found yourself missing his sturdy presence in your life. He was as much a part of who you were as you were yourself, and it was simply a gift to be able to live with your best friend since childhood.

"Did you miss me in France?" you said, pausing your kiss. 

You already knew the answer, but it was nice to hear him say it anyway. His letters to you while he had been away were simply not enough now that you knew what it was like to have him stroke your hair as you fell asleep or kiss your forehead in the mornings. Even as a child, you couldn't have imagined a marriage as wonderful as this one. 

"I almost went mad," he said, breathing heavily and nudging your legs open with his knee. "You are my very best friend, you know?" 

"And you are mine."

"I do not even know how I managed to breathe when you were so far away," he said sincerely, kissing your neck.

You gasped in delight, tugging on his hair. 

"It was quite lovely to get a bit of a break from you, actually," you teased.

This was, of course, a lie. You rather enjoyed having Benedict near you every night, talking for hours, and taking long walks on your grounds. But he didn't have to know that at this moment. You had certainly missed him, but he had to work to make up his absence.

"Oh, was it?" Ben taunted, looking down at you with half-open eyes. "I think I can change your mind on that particular matter."

You were positively giddy in anticipation of what was to come. "I'd love to see you try," you challenged.

"I'm certain you would," responded Benedict, a hand creeping up your leg as he bent down to kiss you once more. 

—

series masterlist || buy me a ko-fi!

[deepdarkdelights]

WIP Sneak Peek

A/N: Hello everyone, it has been a very long time since I have posted a fic and I am truly sorry! Life in grad school has been ten times harder than I thought it would be, and my presence here has suffered because of it! Whenever I have found time I have been trying to work on my wips. So, today, I am giving you a sneak peek of my most developed fic so far! I hope you enjoy this Bridgerton inspired sneak peek!

“A letter has arrived for you, my lady.” Your maid called for you as she unsealed the envelope with a letter opener, “It is from your mother.”  The pianoforte made a ghastly sound beneath your fingertips as you startled at the mention of your mother. The five years you had spent in isolation from the Ton’ had included your beloved brother as well as your mother. Your aunt had done her best to enforce the privacy that you had requested and this had included correspondence, all letters had been addressed to or intercepted by her and her alone at your request. You cleared your throat and collected yourself, regaining the composure you had trained yourself into in the past years. “You may take that to my aunt, Lilah, I have not corresponded with my mother in quite some time as you are aware.” “My mistress has requested that I deliver this to you and you alone, my lady.” Lilah replied, placing the unsealed envelope on the top of the pianoforte, “I will give you your privacy, when you are ready to draft your response I will return.” You stared after the maid’s retreating form. In any other house, her words and disposition would have been mistaken for disrespect. However, Lilah had been a faithful servant to your family since you were born, she being only eight years your senior. She truly had the best of intentions when it came to you, and she knew when to talk to you like the petulant child that you were being despite your age. Your fingers trembled as you slid the stationary free from the envelope and began to read. Dearest,  It has been quite some time since you have been home. Your brother and myself have missed you deeply during this time that we have spent apart. Your dear aunt has told me of the woman that you are growing into, and I am deeply saddened that I have missed these defining years of your youth. Your brother and I have spoken often of your return, and as we approach your fifth season away from home we have come to a decision on the matter. While Seokjin was in firm agreement with your decision to leave home, I have made my stance on the matter very clear. While I hold little authority as dowager viscountess, I still hold much authority as you and your brother’s mother. It is upon my request with the approval of your brother, that you are to return home this season.  While you may not think this to be so, I do understand the heavy burden that comes with being a woman in society. However, as your mother, I can no longer stand by and allow you to hide from your responsibilities in the country. I have listened to your brother long enough and I have given your aunt plenty of time to prepare you for your return to society. You are quickly approaching spinsterhood and it is now time to find you a suitable match. Your aunt has let me know your stance on this as well, and I regret to inform you that we are no longer in a position where we can wait. In spite of your aversion to marriage, I will be securing you a match by the end of the season whether you return home or not. However, if you decide to stay with your aunt in Whitepoint, you will have no input in the suitor that I choose for you. With this knowledge, I find that it will be in your best interest to return home at once. Do not think me heartless, dearest. It is with a heavy heart that I have made this decision. Your brother and I have missed you and we both are doing this to ensure that you will be taken care of. And, selfishly, I knew that this would be the only way I would see you return home to me once more. I know that you will be angry and I know that you will be hurt, however, do know that we have tried to give you the most time that we could possibly afford. You have had five years now to explore your passions and grow, that is more than most women have ever been able to have. Your brother and I eagerly await your return. With all my love, Mother

[gleefullypolin]

My top 10 ships

I haven't done this in forever, and I was bored and didn't feel like working so.....felt like an appropriate thing to do instead.

My top 10 ships!

#1 Polin - Bridgerton

Did you really anticipate anyone else being at my top spot? Friends to lovers....Swoon! They have my heart, soul, and life. I literally love a girl who knows what she wants and a man who loves the fuck out of her like no other so this is like porn and comfort. Give me everything tonight and more!

#2 Captain Swan - OUAT

If you aren't going to give me friends to lovers, I'll move over to Enemies and find my kind because holy hot out of hell, there is nothing better than Captain Hook and his smolder winning over Emma Swan. Fuck that man can burn! Years after that show ended and I can still sit in them and ruminate and catch myself on fire.

#3 Clois - Smallville

There have been a lot of different Lois and Clark's out there, but none have been Erica Durance and Tom Welling. I've never been so happy and angry with a show in all my life. I used to wish so much against Lana Lang that I am embarrassed my own behavior. But I truly loved the banter and way these two brought these characters to live. It was marvelous.

#4 Reylo - Star Wars

Being a Reylo shipper was like being sentenced to death and hell all at the same time for many years. We were bullied, tortured, shat on, and then given everything we wanted in 30 seconds only for them to fucking KILL HIM after a sacrifice. I have never both smiled, cried, and then curled into a ball in a theater so quickly that I wanted to die before. Even my family ridiculed me. It was torture but I still live there. I still ship it and you cannot make me stop!!

#5 Fitzsimmons - Agents of Shield

The brilliant science couple put through so much that even they thought they were cursed. Pushed to find each other across time and space, kidnapped into a matrix, forced to fight one another, half the couple killed, duplicate versions of themselves, but champions of the hug, star crossed and so full of love. Friends to lovers, he fell first, she fell harder and GOD I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!

#6 Starpollo - Battlestar Galactica

A couple who knew how to tear out my heart, throw it to the ground, and then trample it with their feet to ashes. While Lee and Kara were not destined to end up together, they damn sure made it hard not to want them to find a way. They truly loved each other more than anyone they were with in the show, but guilt always found a way to fuck that up for them. God it hurt to love you two.

#7 Romanogers - Marvel Universe

Let's talk crack ships because oh how they break your heart. But it is glorious. This one is mine. I will forever love Nat and Steve and I will live in the space and time that they were on the road together living their lives without a banner. Because you can't tell me what they got up to! I refuse to believe you! But let's not talk about how it all ended because my heart still hurts and I don't like to talk about it!

#8 Finchel - Glee

Since I'm already ripping my heart out, let's go all the way with it. Finchel has always been that ship that tears my heart to shreds. I was all in from the characters to the actors and I'll never honestly get over it. I'll probably always bleed Finn and Rachel, Cory and Lea. And I'll never be able to talk about it to normal people. It was something I lived, breathed, and honestly part of me died with. So I think that's enough of that.

#9 Caryl - The Walking Dead

You can call this whatever it is, some say crack ship, I say...otherwise. It's my ship of ships for TWD. It's my coming home ship. Because that's what they are to each other. They are love. No one tell me otherwise, I live there, I love there. So do they. Deal with it.

#10 Roschel - Friends

Look, say what you want, but I stayed home on Thursday nights just to watch whether they would or wouldn't. Nothing grabbed me like these two. They were lobsters, they were on a break, I didn't give a fuck what it was, only that they had me in a chokehold and that's what I realized what shipping was. Because dammit, I wanted whatever feeling it was. And thus the 9 people above because the passion I sought. So bless it, they needed to be here.

And there you have it, my top 10 ships! Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to add your own :)

[madhattervanessa]

Warmblood

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x f!Reader

Summary: Anthony Bridgerton, one of your father‘s loyal customers of your family‘s riding school, pays you an evening visit.

A/N: Actually I was thinking about writing more One Shots for these two, let me know what you think!

Warnings: (absolute FILTH I don’t know what posessed me, truly) fingering, grinding, oral sex (f receiving)

Words: 1904

-

“Milady”, you hum towards the maid in the doorframe and quirk a brow, your eyes still locked on what you’re writing down. “A gentleman is here to see you, ma’am-”

“I’m busy”, you simply retort, already turning back to the papers in front of you. The scratching of your feather lulls you back into a trance, eyes flitting over the numbers as you calculate the expenses and-

“Here you are.” Your eyes snap towards the door. A few years ago you would have stumbled over your feet in a hurry to get up and greet him, flustering to murmur something polite. But now you just sigh and sign off on another account.

“Viscount Bridgerton. What an honor. I had hoped the maid would have told you that I am quite busy.”

You hear him close the large doors behind him, fearlessly entering the room despite your hostility.

“Has your father left you to travel alone, now?”

“He is off... to a doctor, I think.”

He just hums in response and you toss another paper aside.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see his fingertips dance over the edge of the desk. He passes you and there’s a whiff of freshly cut flowers and leather.

He comes to a halt behind you and you sigh as his hands roam over your shoulders. You sigh and do your best not to lean back. His breath fans over your skin before you feel him kiss your neck.

“I hope you are aware that half asleep is not as flattering a look on you as you might have come to think?”

“I need to finish these accounts for my father, Viscount Bridgerton”, you murmur. You only receive a displeased hum for an answer as you let your eyes drift closed. He kisses your shoulder and you lean away to give him more space. When you open your eyes again, you quickly grow distracted by his touch and bite the inside of your cheek as you watch his fingers indulge in a touch underneath the hem of your neckline. “You are aware that the riding lessons for your siblings shall not be receiving a discount-”

“That is not what I’ve come here for”, he interrupts, his fingers gently digging into the knots in your shoulders. You sigh and let his firm hands work at the pain there for a moment.

“What official business would you have in my family’s London residence, then, Viscount Bridgerton?”

“I had hoped wanting to see you would be enough reason to visit. Though I have brought you a gift, as well.”

“A gift?”

“Mhm. I will have it waiting for you in your bedchambers-”

You smack at his arm and open your eyes again.

“I have to finish these. Managing a riding school is hard work that has to be done right. Out of all people, I thought you’d understand.”

“Give me five minutes. I can help, after”, he suggests, his voice rasping pleasantly as you try your damndest to keep your focus on the papers in front of you. When he doesn’t let up, you stand, a measly attempt to escape his tempting grasp.

You turn towards him and watch as he cages you against the desk. Your nose brushes his and you suck in a sharp breath.

“Anthony.”

“Let us retire to bed.”

“I have to finish these accounts.”

His lips quirk and there’s that look in his eyes that spells nothing but trouble.

“So let me help you.”

“The Viscount Bridgerton helping with the expenses of another man’s business? Scandalous.”

“It is your business at this point.” You feel the heat creep up your neck at the earnestness in his voice. The stern look that follows as he reaches out to wipe at some ink staining your hand.

“My father would vehemently disagree.”

“Because he is too proud to admit that all he does by now is sign the accounts. Rumors are his daughter outdoes him at all but drinking.”

“So she does. Do you have any more praise for me, milord?”

“Would you like to request certain ones?”

You lift a hand to grasp his chin and let your thumb trace over the edge of his bottom lip. Your eyes meet before you pointedly stare at his lips.

“I can think of quite a few other ways you may be able to please me instead. Though they require less talking and to make use of your knees.”

He huffs with an amused quirk of his lips before leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“Alright.”

He drags the chair closer to the desk and you tilt your head at him.

“Come here, then. Finish your work.”

You hum, nodding as you eye him. He lunges at you and swiftly grasps your hand to pull you closer. You level another stern look at him before letting him lead you to sit on his lap, facing the desk. He presses another lingering kiss to the nape of your neck before scooting the two of you closer towards the desk.

“Go on.”

You swallow heavily against the lump in your throat and take up your feather again. You skim the numbers before you to find where you had previously left off. You feel him lean back slightly, and his hands splay your legs over his own as he does. You roll your bottom lip between your teeth as you start to jot down more numbers.

It is then that you feel his hands wander. He shifts, the left of it rucking up the hem of your dress as the right dives underneath the offending fabric. He hooks his chin over your shoulder, his nose nudging against your earlobe before he catches it between his lips. You feel yourself shivering under his bold ministrations.

You keep your focus on the paper in front of you, barely wavering in your penmanship as his right finds the ribbon of your stocking. You wait with bated breath as his hand wanders further and hear a sharp inhale when he discovers nothing else but warm skin.

“Where are your undergarments?”, he groans. You are caught between a smile and a gasp when he cups you between your legs.

“I’m at home... I was not expecting visitors”, you answer in a murmur. You strike through some of the numbers already calculated. Underneath you, Anthony shifts and you feel him twitch in his breeches, his hard cock jutting into your behind.

He sighs and lets two of his fingers swipe through the wetness between your legs. You sit up, rigid, as he curls them up to find the apex of your cunt. As you grasp the table with your second hand, he starts to delicately rub the tips of his fingers in small circles. His lips attach themselves to your neck, his hips rutting against you.

“Anthony- keep your hands...”, you trail off as he lets his other hand crudely paw at your breasts. He squeezes one of them and you stifle a moan. His fingers keep working underneath your dress and a zero quickly turns into a misshapen nine as he pushes his fingers inside of your dripping cunt.

“Anthony!” You hiss and he tuts, closely followed by a nibble of his teeth before he lets his hand gently pat the desk.

“Keep writing, So we may retire to bed”, he reminds you. You groan and furrow your brows as you start the line over on your scratch page. The fingers inside of your cunt slow to an infuriatingly slow pace. He chuckles at your predicament, obviously pleased with himself. “Go on.”

His thumb continues the previous gentle circles at the top of your cunt while his fingers inside of you coax gentle waves of pleasure out of you.

You bite back your moans, torn between keeping yourself perfectly still and frozen in place or squirming to drive him wild as well. 

Your hand shakes as you go over your last calculation again, making sure you did not accidentally overlook something.

You manage to finish another account, your hands shaky as you set down your quill. The slick sounds between your legs don’t stop even as you lean back, bracing yourself against the table as the pleasure climbs to a sudden high.

You bite down on your lip as you come undone. Anthony groans and pushes forward, forcing you to stand on your shaking legs.

The edge of the desk digs into your hips as he rucks the edge of your dress further up. You barely manage to save the inkwell from the chaotic shift- he brushes the papers aside and you know you will be angry at the chaos later but you don’t care if he keeps kissing your neck like he is right now.

“Anthony, I thought you would take me to bed-”

“I will, I just- I need to have you like this, first.”

You are about to ask what he means when you hear a dull sound. A moment later, his breath hits your cunt from behind. You shriek as he pushes his tongue against you. His firm grip makes you bend over the desk. He holds your dress up, exposing you to him fully as he opens his mouth to envelop your pussy before his tongue darts out to taste you.

You feel yourself blush as he licks at you. You have to bite down on a knuckle to smother your sounds, perfectly able to picture what he looks like as he flicks his tongue against you from behind.

You already know the image will haunt you for months.

A thick finger breaches you and you almost forget to breathe as the pleasure swells at his insistent, almost desperate moans.

Your thighs quiver as you cum a second time under his ardent ministrations. Anthony groans, fervently licking at the lips of your pussy before standing. You hold onto the edge of the desk for some sense of stability.

When you turn your head to look at him, he uses a handkerchief to clean his face. Your heart slams against your chest at the sight of his flushed cheeks and his cock that is straining against his breeches.

“Either we retire to the bedroom or I fuck you on the floor.” He is still panting and your lips part at the needy display. “Make your choice.”

You turn and ruck your skirts up further as you sit back on your desk.

“Come over here.”

“Your desk will break if we do that again.”

Your cheeks run hot and you let your mouth drop open at the memory of the last time on the desk.

“I’m fucking you on the floor then”, you mutter on an exhale. You watch him strip his shirt before you get off of the table again.

As soon as your feet touch the floor, he bridges the distance between the two of you, his hands quickly undoing the buttons of your dress until you are stripped down to your corset.

You grab his chin, your thumb digging into his bottom lip as you push him down to kneel in front of you. He grabs your waist, pulling you in as you push him further and further until he is lying down on the ground. You follow him down- this time his kiss is more gentle, his hands soft as he undoes the laces on your corset.