#well i'm gonna pretend my foods are rock

[deanpinterester]

i just discovered the existence of agar crystal candy and my desire to eat rocks has never been at such a high

[steddie-as-they-come]

sequel to my roommate steddie au!! here's the first part! tags have changed, it's now more mature with some fade to black sex

Steve’s so warm. It’s not fair.

Eddie must have half his wardrobe on, tucked under all the blankets on his bed, and Steve is just sitting over there, in a T-shirt and thin sweatpants, like the jackass he is.

"You look cold." Steve says, shifting a bit.

Eddie glares at him. "No shit, Sherlock," he bites out, trying to reign in his temper. All things considered, Steve's a pretty great roommate, sharing his food and his children with Eddie. It's not his fault the college decides to let their students freeze to death.

Steve, to his credit, just laughs at him. "Okay, fine. I was gonna offer for you to come hang out over here, since you're over the vent and I'm not, but if you're gonna be like that-"

Eddie practically teleports out of bed. "No! No, please, Steve, did I ever mention how great your hair looks today and how kind you are to me-"

Steve laughs again, moving out of the way and patting the bed next to him. Eddie doesn't hesitate to scurry up and tuck himself into a little cocoon of his own blankets, trying not to bump Steve's arm as he focuses on his homework. He doesn't completely succeed, and his hand brushes against Steve's bare arm.

"What the fuck?" he says loudly. "Why are you the temperature of a campfire?"

Steve shrugs. "I've always run hot." he says. "It's great during winter movie nights because everyone piles on top of me, but then I get banished during summer movie nights, which is no fun."

Eddie's already sprawled over his shoulder, sighing happily, like some kind of lizard on a sunlit rock. If August Eddie could see him now, he'd try to smack the shit outta him for falling for a straight guy. One who was his roommate, no less.

But it's hard not to when Steve is kind, and accepting, and a little bit stupid, and hot as hell. It isn't like he just tolerates Eddie's physical affection either, he seems to welcome it. Steve even started initiating it, wrapping an arm around Eddie's shoulders, grabbing his arm to haul him out of particularly big crowds, and the hugs. Steve loves hugs.

There's a darkness to Steve too, the way he moves, the way he's always checking over his shoulder, flinching at flickering lights, always ready for a fight.

It makes Eddie wonder if Steve is like him.

Eddie wiggles a bit, adjusting his chin to prop on Steve's shoulder. "Whatcha workin' on?" he asks, just to be nosy.

Steve rolls his eyes, leaning away. "None of your business." he teases.

Eddie misses the warmth as soon as Steve's gone. "Nooooo," he whines. "Come back. I won't look!"

Steve stays leaned away, raising his eyebrows. "You're so weird." he says. It's not in a mean way, more that he's bewildered that one person can be this strange. Eddie takes this as a compliment.

He pretends to freeze to death, jerking and flinching. "It's...so cold." he mutters. "I see...the light... All because my roommate...let me freeze to death..."

Finally, Steve's blissful warmth comes back, and Steve sighs, tapping his pen against his paper. Eddie tries to peek again, and recognizes familiar words.

"Is that a character sheet?" he yells, and Steve frowns at him.

"You said you wouldn't look!"

Eddie waves him off, grabbing for the sheet. "Steve, this is D&D. It's automatically my business when it's D&D."

Steve finally hands it over. "Fine. Yes, it's a character sheet. Dustin's birthday is next Monday, and I was gonna ask you if I could join your game as a present to him."

Eddie nods, inspecting the sheet. Dustin's been begging for Steve to join basically since they started their little arrangement, where Eddie DM's for them in exchange for no more open hostility in the dorms. It may have worked a little too well, given Eddie's budding crush, but c'est la vie.

Eddie hands it back. "You are supposed to give the DM the character sheet a couple days in advance so they have time to work you into the plot."

Steve winces. "Really? Shit, I didn't know that."

"It's fine, I got some ideas, just from looking it over. You can borrow a spare set of dice and one of my miniatures too."

"Oh good, I had no idea if I needed any of that stuff."

"Do you want me to do a little crash course for you?" Eddie asks, preparing to brave the cold to grab his little homemade handbook.

Steve gives him a deadpan look. "Are you kidding me? Dustin is gonna love being better than me at this. I might as well go in with a regular six-sided die and pretend I thought that's the one I needed."

Eddie laughs. "Fair enough." The cold touches his neck and he burrows back into his blankets. "This fucking sucks, by the way. The cold."

"You're a big baby, man. It's fine."

"Ah, yes. Forgot I live with a walking, talking furnace." Eddie rolls his eyes, muttering, "This is worse than the time I was left outside in the cold."

"Wait, what?" Steve turns to him, eyes flinty like steel. "You were...what?"

"Oh. Um." Eddie's not sure how much to reveal, but he figures it had to come out eventually. "My dad left me out in the cold when I was thirteen. I think he thought it'd fix me. I just got really sick, though." He laughs humorlessly.

"You said...fix you?" Steve says, and Eddie's heart drops. He backs away from Steve before starting to talk, trying to find something to defend himself with if Steve gets mad.

"Yeah." Eddie says. "He saw me...kissing a boy."

Steve's eyes widen, and then he scoots closer. Eddie's breath hitches.

"Me too." Steve whispers.

Now it's Eddie's turn to be shocked. Steve continues. "Not...not left outside in the cold. They'd need to be home long enough for that. But...bisexual. I like girls and guys."

There's a tense, charged silence in the room. Eddie draws up all his courage. "I like you, Steve."

Steve stares at Eddie’s lips. “Can I-” he whispers breathlessly.

Eddie, seemingly just as entranced, nods, and Steve leans forward, pressing his lips against Eddie. Almost unconsciously, Eddie tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and Steve hums happily. 

Eddie’s tongue swipes at the sealed lines of Steve’s lips. Steve freezes, then slowly, tentatively, opens his mouth. 

Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile. Eddie practically pulls Steve down towards him, hands greedily exploring every inch of Steve he could reach. Steve gladly returns the favor, sneaking his hands between Eddie’s back and the mattress so he can feel the muscles lining Eddie’s spine flex and move as Eddie kisses him stupid. 

Eddie pulls back, breaking the kiss. Steve whines, actually whines, and dives back in, but Eddie stops him with a gentle hand on his chest. 

He kisses the corner of Steve’s mouth, and Steve chases it, leaning subtly towards Eddie, but Eddie just keeps moving, kissing a trail from his mouth to his chin, to the soft skin where Steve's jawline blends into his neck. Steve keeps moving, running his hands up and down Eddie’s back just for something to do. 

Eddie reaches the small curve where his shoulder meets his neck, and Steve feels a small scrape of teeth against his skin. He whimpers. 

“Oh?” Eddie says, the first thing he’s said since Steve leaned in. His voice is raspy, and Steve privately thinks it's the hottest fucking thing in the world. “There?” 

He kisses there again, but this time there's no teeth, and Steve stays quiet, breathing slowly, in and out, in and out. 

“Or…did you like it when I did this?” 

Eddie leans forward and nips at Steve’s collar, and Steve keens. “Eddieee…” he says, dragging the vowels out too long, leaving that name hanging in the air.

Eddie tilts his head back up and captures Steve’s lips in another kiss, tongue sliding into Steve’s mouth smoothly. He kisses for a few seconds, then readjusts and gently nips at Steve’s lower lip. 

“Please, please Eddie,” Steve begs breathlessly, not even sure what he's pleading for. Eddie seems to get it though, and slides his hands under his shirt to cup Steve’s waist.

Steve laces his hands through Eddie's hair and pulls, and Eddie lets out a moan, pushing Steve off of him and rolling so he's on top, enjoying the feeling of Steve under him on the mattress.

"I've never been so glad for the cold," he whispers against Steve's lips, and kisses him again.

[a-hazbin-reader]

going to the beach with Alastor? Sounds fun!

I love rock hunting at the beach 😭

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Alastor being MEAN, Cartoonish violence, Suggestive?

Description: ☝️⬆️

Originally, Alastor doesn't want to go to the beach but after some begging and pleading from you he gives in

He's weak to your puppy eyes and just in general can't tell you no

So he's going to the beach

Alastor is normally content to just soak up some sun at the beach, really relax and enjoy his time

But he's also a little shit who loves to mess with people in any way he can including his S/O

Meeting you and entering a relationship with you has opened up a whole new way for him to play

Alastor knows how good he looks in his beach outfit, the way you blush and stare at him is proof enough

Little does he know you just think his hooves are cute

Not that he doesn't also think you look good

You look delicious

He likes getting those flustered reactions out of you, they're his little reassurances that you're still into him

Of course you are??

He literally strikes coy poses whenever you walk by him, doing everything he can to catch your eye

"Y/N, could you help me with my sunscreen~?"

"Darling, could you fetch me an ice cream cone?"

"Would you be so kind as to get me something to drink? It's so hot out today!"

You're gonna melt

Not that he doesn't spend a good amount of time watching you as well

Will relax in a watertube nearby so that he can stay close to you, listening to your laughter

He watches on with a fond smile as you play in the water with Niffty and Angel, using his tentacles to grab anyone else who looks at you

Uses his sunglasses to hide the fact that he's watching you build a sandcastle with Husk and Vaggie, pretending to sunbathe

"Niffty!! You're destroying it!"

"Bury me! Bury me ALIVE!"

Angel catches him and just assumes Alastor is looking at your ass as you bend over the wrecked remains of your castle

Alastor has the decency to look embarrassed

If you want to fly a kite, then Alastor will stand behind you with the lame excuse that he's helping you

"And your hands on my hips help me how..?"

"I'm simply positioning your body to better hold the kite, my love~"

When you ask him to play volleyball with you, Alastor will make a big show of thinking it over

But as soon as he sees Lucifer and Charlie are your opponents then he's getting up and ready to fucking win

He's going to show off for you for the first few rounds, then it'll dissolve into him and Lucifer competing fiercely

You and Charlie are just standing and watching them at this point, you two even leave to go get food then come back

You'll have to drag him away if you want some time with him because he won't quit

"I should've won, darling! I won that last round..!"

"Yes dear, you won." 😘

Will walk with you along the beach, holding any shells or cool things you find in the sand

Won't warn you when the tide is coming in though, laughing when you come back to him looking like a soaked kitten

Isn't laughing when you throw him in but he makes sure to take you down with him

Now both of you are soaked, laying together in the water and smiling at each other while holding in your laughter

And if he rolls you over and kisses you, then that's your business

You two walk back wet and covered in sand, which is a lot less fun than you anticipated

You can't help but laugh as you try to brush the sand off of Alastor's ears, his smile annoyed

"Remind me why I agreed to come to the beach? All this sand..."

"Because I wanted you to be here with us...with me..!"

"So you're to blame~"

You're probably exhausted after such an eventful day, wanting to get the sand off of your body

"Ugh...I desperately need a shower after today..."

Alastor's grin is positively predatory as he runs his claws down your back before pulling you in by your waist

"I'll join you, my dear~"

This was too fun! I love the beach so much! I hope you liked it!

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine taking Rayleigh and Shakky out on a date

This is part 2 of this post

Rayleigh: so you want to take us out on a pretend date to spite your first mate and captain for bullying you?

Reader: I know how it sounds, but I figured it'd be a good way to get back at them.

Shakky: While I'm all for helping you get revenge, I don't understand your logic.

You: well, Rayleigh is Shanks's father figure.

Rayleigh: That's not how I'd put it, but I suppose I'm the closest thing he's got.

You: And while I know you two have an open relationship, I thought fucking my captain's father figure would be crossing a line.

Shakky: probably a wise move.

You: And I wanted you to go on a fake date with you, Shakky because Benn has had a crush on you for years, but has been too nervous to ask you out on a date.

Rayleigh: so a date, with both of us, would be two birds with one stone.

Shakky: Oh, I know about his little crush, his poker face is terrible

You: I know, right? I saw him in here earlier, looking at you, he was about as subtle as a sea train.

Rayleigh: *turns to his wife,* What do you think?

Shakky: I dunno.

You: I'll pay for dinner.

Shakky: Deal.

Rayleigh: Pick us up at six thirty tonight.

That night during dinner

Rayleigh: *drinking straight from the wine bottle you ordered*, So how's the brat supposed to know you took us on a date?

You: Well, he planned on dining here at seven, so by the time our food arrives, he should be here. But you know him, he's not good at sticking to plans. If he doesn't come, we could take a picture as a backup plan.

Shakky: Sounds like a plan, in the meantime, we should have a proper date.

Rayleigh: yes, tell us about yourself.

An hour later

You: And Shanks, buck ass naked, slips on the wet rocks, falls, and smacks against the surface of the water!

Shanks: (y/n)?

You: *looks over to notice Shanks and his inner circle gawking at you*

Rayleigh: hey sport

Shanks: what's going on here?

Shakky: what does it look like? We're having a date with this little cutie. *wraps her arms around you and rests her head on your shoulder, giving a pointed smirk at Benn*

Rayleigh: *puts his arm around both you and Shakky and pulls you into his side,* They were just telling us about your skinny sipping mishap on Koala Island.

Shanks: No

You: yep

Benn: *glaring daggers at you,* You little shit, how long has this been going on?

You: Not long, this is the first date.

Shanks: Is this because of what we said two weeks ago?

You: a little

Shanks: *pouts,* We were just teasing.

Shakky: You're interrupting our date, it's quite rude.

Shanks: Fine, enjoy your evening.

Later

Shanks: *alone, passed out drunk on his table*

Rayleigh: *sighs* this boy I swear.

Shakky: Want to ditch him with our tab?

You: Yeah, but we're not gonna leave him without the cash, *pulls out his wallet and puts the Berry you brought along inside before sliding it back into his pocket*

The next day on the Red Force

You: *walks onto the ship only for everyone to stare at you*

Benn: You have some explaining to do.

Shanks: *bursts out of his cabin,* Did you fuck them?

You: no, I thought that'd be crossing a line.

Shanks: then where did you stay last night?

You: In their guest room, I helped Shakky open this morning because Rayleigh had wandered off after our date... Look, it wasn't a real date, Boss, I was upfront with them about my intentions.

Shanks: We didn't bully you.

You: It certainly felt like it to me, and when I voiced that hurt, you didn't apologize, and basically told me to stop sulking. So I wanted you to know how it felt, so I asked Rayleigh and Shakky to help me get back at you for bullying me.

Shanks: I see, *reflects on his behavior for a moment* I'm sorry we teased you, it was supposed to be a joke but ended up hurting your feelings.

You: Apology accepted.

Shanks: Now, please never date any of my former crew mates from my time with Roger.

You: I promise I won't knowingly date any of them.

Shanks: I don't like the way you phrased that, but fine, I guess.

Benn: Now that that's done, tell me how in the hell you got Shakky to go on a date with you.

You: Again, it was a fake date, but I simply asked.

Benn: I was afraid you were gonna say that.

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[strawberryfloofs]

my tiny space wants

baby space - I want a caregiver to know me so well that when I'm struggling to use my words and extra whiney, they check to see if I have my rattle, stuffie, and paci. No? "I know why you're all fussy muffin, I'll be right back!" - read me my favorite Bluey books and ask me to point things out - sit through my babbles and pay attention to me when I point to something I want - "hold on baby, let mommy help, you're way too tiny for that!" - cut my food into silly/cute shapes and feed me - I'm able to stim in front of them and they can tell if it's a happy stim to be unbothered, or a distress stim - viciously shaking my unicorn rattle and being met with smiles - babas toddler space (most frequent for me) - grabbing a book and sitting next to me as they help me read it, correcting some words or finishing a sentence if it's too hard. (also asking me about what happened in the story) - being able to understand my broken sentences or the few words I give - "mamaaa! color stuffi?" "hmm, I don't see why your stuffie couldn't join us doll" "eeepp!" - putting me down for naps if needed (even if I fight them), or talking to me about why I'm so fussy - letting me help with cooking! like mixing cookie dough! - "away from the oven you get sweetie, only mommy's gonna put the cookies in, it's dangerous for her little one." - helping with my tantrums or meltdowns, figuring out why they happened and how they can help me feel better. - PLAYTIME!! with my dollies, cars, pretend food sets, all of that - pretend play is a must - helping me with my activity books! whether its counting on my fingers or asking me simple questions about colors - also helping me with puzzles if I get too frustrated - being patient with telling me things, calling me gently if I seem unfocused or distracted. - "kamz, kamz angel- hi there! can you listen to mommy for a second? good girl!" smol kiddo space (rare for me) - outdoors! flower picking, climbing trees, collecting rocks, all of that! - "baby don't run off too far, wait for mama!" - playgrounds and picnics! but specifically I wanna ride swings - simple video games generally - understanding my sensory needs and accomodating them - blanket forts - being showered with love and them enjoying caring for me as much as I enjoy being cared for by them - them knowing how to put me in smolspace and keep me there - "it's okay to be little love, I won't judge you. I love it when you're like this, it makes me so happy and it seems to do that for you too" - understand I have involuntary regression (for negative things) at times and accept if it happens. - "lots of big girl feelings huh? I know, I know. let's go snuggle up and you can let it all out." - notice when I'm feeling tiny, even if I try to hide it - "is someone feeling smol today? here, this is a little stuffie keychain, can you keep them safe until we get home?" - honestly just treat me like the age i regress to.

[aluria-sevhex]

so now i'm in Act 3 i guess

notes:

-methinks Siffrin is panicking

-plot twist: you can't escape the time loop until you deal with your... ???

-no you little bitch don't pretend everything's fine that's not good for your mental health

-YOU *KNEW* THIS WOULD HAPPEN??? FUCK YOU LOOP

-i'm not giving up you little shit

-ok Loop what IS your deal. you *asked* to be here???

-ok i need to help Mira with her mysterious papers

-:O A HINT AT ODILE'S FIELD OF STUDY

-the music is more unnerving than it was in Act 2. also it sounds glitchy now

-oh it's normal now. was i just suffering from an actual audio glitch and just. didn't question it? like "oh yeah ofc it's glitching things are fucked now"

-...that enemy didn't spawn down here in Act 2.

-eh ima get off for the night

-late in the evening on July 4th and i am back yippee this is probably a bad idea considering how long my play sessions get

-YEAH THE TITLE MUSIC MY BELOVED

-ok i can't help Bonnie on this loop- HOLD UP. DID SIF'S ART CHANGE IN THE MENUS? YEAH HE'S NOT SMUG ANYMORE ToT also i think their profile used to say "It's you!" with an exclamation point but now it says "It's you." with a period :(

-rip my darling blorbo Paper α V

-side note: idk if i've mentionwd this before but i like how the levels, stats, and skills all show the fact that you're near the end of the journey (ex. Odile having Rock, Paper, and Scissors III at the start)

-I FOUND THE BOOK BONNIE WAS LOOKING AT.

hmmm... death rituals...

-hehe i found the stostorage roomoom

-NONE OF THESE BARRELS WILL LEMME TAKE THE NUTS >:(

-another book in the headache-inducing language i can't read.

-weird shit going on: Siffrin, Loop, the King, the disappearing island, the headache-inducing shit

-hehehe yeah Isa i'm sure you'd *love* to pet your taciturn hopeful-future-partner

-it's not just the menu art i think Siffrin's battle art is also less happy. :(

-HOLD UP. also! Siffrin's profile used to call them the Traveler but now he's called the Wanderer. :(

-hehe. Sif hit the counter and said nya again. cat Sif

-this enemy ALSO did not spawn on this floor before. fucking giant hand thing

-ok thinking: can't help Isa until i've helped everybody else in one loop, can't help Bonnie on this loop and i need to prove i know them via their favorite foods, need to help Mira and Odile...

-thank you Loop for being available- OH I CAN BRING UP THE SADNESSES BEING DIFFERENT :O

-ok need to help Mira with the papers. some are in her dorm. Odile wants to read a familytale. i'll have to find one in the library or secret library. need to find out Bonnie's favorite foods by trying different ones. maybe i should loop forward a bunch to different areas, find out their favorite foods, and THEN do the big loop where i help everybody!

-i need to talk to the King eventually

-looping forward to Floor 1's end

-fun fact i'm keeping track of all my causes of death in another note. i'll share it when i finish the game

-man i also need to figure out how to help Mira's fan and remember where the last book issue is...

-the looping screen art is nice :]

-yeah yeah i need to beat this asshole to get to the snacks

-hold up. the coin fell on heads this time. strange...

-last time i picked plantain chips. this time i'm picking cookies. would probably be good to check what Bonnie eats each time

-ok they like rice. time to loop forward!

-while i'm on Floor 2 i might as well find a familytale for Odile...

-LOOP 24? THE MATH DOES NOT CHECK OUT.

-WAIT THE GAME ACKNOWLEDGES IT. HUH. YEAH I SHOULD BE ON 23. SIFFRIN IS SUS 𐐘

-fuck. i accidentally moved forwards when i meant to go to the library. it's fine i'l help her when i help everybody

-oh great i have to fight these assholes again.

-fuck. i think i fucked up and didn't make sure Mira had Pretty Moving Cure. i might get a game over.

-this is by far my dumbest death

-LOOP 27??? I WENT FROM 24-27

-gonna try to be less liberal with loop usage because the skipping is kinda scaring me

-aw... Siffrin's friends try not to touch him as they squeeze through that's nice... wait. he seems to not be remembering why. did he forget that they don't like being touched... maybe. maybe i should call Loop.

-well that was unhelpful

-time to adjust the memories i have equipped. welcome back my lovely scrimbly blorbos Lovely Moving Cure and Paper α V

-hm. ok so the boulanger in Dormont has a familytale...

-oh my god we're discussing colors. what happened to them.

-THEY STILL EXIST. BUT WE FORGOT HOW TO SEE THEM. ???

-*SIFFRIN*. HOW IS THIS FAMILIAR. JFC YOU ARE SUS

-plot twist! Siffrin is from our world and forgor that he got isekai'd! :P (i love making random bullshit predictions it's very entertaining)

-oh yeah so RE: Siffrin's altered art: Sif's time-frozen portrait used to look panicked but now it looks calm

-hehe openphrase123 worked

-love Sif's habit of picking up random shiny shit. magpie or crow behavior.

-oh? Siffrin didn't always hate croissants?

...bruh.

-also damn shout-out to Mira's crisis over not knowing some of the people

-the combination of Siffrin's silly attack names and serious battle portraits feels so *wrong*

-:o Sif learned a new skill

-ok i'm gonna log off for the night

hey if you wanna read all of my posts as i play through ISAT, they are all tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)

bruh when i was making this post i accidentslly pasted the notes again there instead of pasting the tag name. that truly was. delightful. to go through and delete it all

also shout-out to those of you who i keep seeing popping up in my notifs liking these posts ;) and also anybody who takes the time to read all this stuff :D i know that *i* like seeing other people's reactions when they experience stuff i like for the first time so i'm very happy to provide that for others! also it's nice to see some of the responses ^-^ :D

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Prompt idea: Holiday celebration get horrendously fucked (birthday, Christmas, Halloween, Passover, doesn’t matter really, dealers choice) and one of them has to comfort the other and help them through a meltdown over their favorite day getting fucked up

Happy birthday and hopefully your day isn’t as bad as you would make Ed and Stede’s!

I wasn't able to get this one edited and posted on my birthday, but it's still a precious prompt and I loved writing for it!! Here's the story of The Time That Stede Fucked Up Passover.

--

"The eleventh plague," Stede said glumly as he watched Ed open a kitchen window to air out some of the smoke, "easily misread cooking directions."

"Well, babe," Ed said over his shoulder, "I'm not sure why you thought that the oven needed to be set to 450 for brisket -"

"I misread the package, Ed," Stede snapped, trying to hide the wobble in his voice.

"Aww, no, that came out wrong." Ed, who had been poking at the smoking, thoroughly blackened brisket sitting on the stovetop to salvage for any edible parts, held out a hand for Stede to take.

Stede pretended he didn't see, looking down at his lap.

It was Stede's first Passover with Ed, and he knew it was a big deal. Ed's mama was coming over for the seder, and Stede had been trying so fucking hard to get it all right. Passover was Ed's favorite holiday! He couldn't fuck it up!

So he did all his research. He practiced reading the haggadah, the text read at the seder - even though Ed would be doing most of the reading, he wanted to be able to pronounce the prayers without asking for help and mark spots where he could raise interesting discussion or questions and (hopefully) impress Ed's mom. He'd figured out voices to use for all of Ed's plague-themed finger puppets to add a bit of levity, triple-checked what they needed for the seder plate, and he'd stressed over making sure dinner was perfect.

When the local synagogue had released sign-ups for pre-made brisket packs, of course he'd signed them up. He wasn't the greatest cook, and neither was Ed, so he figured that having the main course squared away would take a load off his mind and allow him to focus on getting the table set and ready while Ed prepared the roasted sweet potatoes, matzo ball soup, and an extra-big helping of charoset.

And now he'd fucked up his one contribution to dinner, and he hadn't even gotten the table ready, and he'd forgotten to put the wine in the fridge to chill, all because he couldn't even read the package -

"Stede, babe, you need to breathe."

Stede jerked his eyes open. He didn't even remember closing them, but now Ed was kneeling in front of him at the table. He put a gentle, calming hand on Stede's thigh, looking up at him with a small smile.

"I'm so, so sorry, Ed," Stede sighed, scrubbing at his eyes before his tears could fall. "I've ruined everything - I'm the worst boyfriend ever."

"Hey, don't talk about my boyfriend that way," Ed pretended to grumble. "You just misread the instructions. Could've happened to anyone, and you've never made brisket before, have you?"

"No," Stede admitted.

"There ya go," Ed said easily. "You do need to wear your reading glasses more often, though. Not even just saying that because I think they're hot."

"Ed," Stede snorted. "Was any of it edible?"

"Stede," Ed said solemnly, "that thing is burnt to a sizzle. It's basically a rock. It's an ex-brisket."

"Great," Stede sighed. "Your mom's going to hate me."

"She's gonna love you," Ed promised. "Wanna know how I know?"

Stede just pursed his lips.

"Because you tried," Ed said. "You tried so fucking hard."

"That doesn't change the fact that our main course is burnt beyond recognition, Ed."

"C'mon, man, get it straight." Ed rubbed a soothing little circle over Stede's kneecap. "If you think my mama is showing up here without more food than any of us can eat, you're in for a surprise."

Well. That made it a bit better.

"I'm just sorry," Stede said, his shoulders hunching inward with his guilt. "I wanted this to be the best Passover you've ever had -"

"It will be," Ed said, immediately. "Because you're here. And I love you."

"I love you, too." Stede cupped Ed's cheek in his hand, his heart swelling at the way Ed tilted his face into the contact. "Promise you're not mad?"

"Not a bit," Ed said.

Stede leaned in to kiss him, but they pulled apart when they heard a car pull into the driveway.

"The eleventh plague," Ed said cheekily, giving Stede a quick kiss on his way up. "Meeting your boyfriend's mom."

Stede shivered.

"C'mon, babe, she'll love you!" One last kiss, and Ed darted out to meet his mama before she had a chance to start trying to carry things in herself.

Stede took a deep breath, made sure no one could see him for just long enough to flip off the stupid brisket on the stove, and then he ran out to join them.

[vladdyissues]

"Torrent of Terror" ep. is really dumb about Vlad's evil plan but it's also such a HUGE fan service of pompous pep. I mean, they literally went for a date! There are 2 things I'm wondering:

1. How can Vortex problem be re-setted to Vlad stay evil genius, not become a dumb villain?

2. If Danny being only 15 was asking for a foot massage from Vlad in a public place (yea, people left the game centre after an "artificial rain inside", but it's still public place!), what things would he ask for being older? or dating Vlad? I have some smutty thoughts but it isn't me! It's that perverted little badger!

Hnnnn Torrent of Terror and Eye for an Eye are some of the main reasons I voted for Season 3 in that "Which DP Season Is Your Fave" poll that was circulating a while back. So much food for us Pompeppers.

But yeah, Vlad's evil plan was pretty dumb. Here's my response to your first point:

⛔ Vlad going public with his magic weather device that looks like a vintage barn thermometer

✅ Vlad becoming a cult leader by secretly manipulating the weather and therefore obtaining the adoration and respect (and control) of the entire world by solving their climate crises one by one. Hail Vlad, the savior of earth!

And for your second point:

"You never gave me that foot massage, you know."

Vlad lifted his lips from Danny's neck, his eyebrows knitting with confusion. "Foot massage?"

Grinning secretively, Danny pressed his back against Vlad's chest—and his rear against the burgeoning erection in Vlad's pants. "Back when you were mayor. Vortex. I accidentally got the weather tied to my emotions."

"Oh. Oh, that's right. Heavens, Daniel, that was ten years ago."

"I know. Hard to believe it's been that long, huh."

"Mm."

Danny reached behind and urged Vlad to keep rocking against him. Vlad, however, remained preoccupied with the memory.

"You were a devious little brat, humiliating me like that."

"You deserved it."

"Hm, perhaps. You were going to make me massage your feet, but there was something else. Something more to it. A costume?"

Danny grinned. "Yeah. Not much of one."

"Oh. Good Lord, I remember now. It was a loincloth. You wanted me to put on a loincloth and massage your feet and call you 'master'." He narrowed his eyes at the side of Danny's face, smiling fondly. "Quite the fantasy. Are you sure you didn't have a crush on me then, little badger?"

"Oh, I was toast by that point. I guess seeing you naked did something to my brain."

"And just when did you see me naked, young man?"

"Come on, the Regal Hotel? When we were pranking each other and I turned the walls invisible, and the local news crew caught you on camera?"

"Oh. That."

Danny laughed. "I think you need some Centrum Silver, old man. Your memory's starting to slip."

"My memory's fine, Daniel. I just can't think straight with you grinding on me like this."

"Kind of ironic to be thinking straight now, huh?"

Stifling a chuckle, Vlad slid his hands down Danny's waist to grasp his hips. "I never got my revenge for that weekend, you know," he whispered in Danny's ear.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Danny asked, eyebrow arching with interest.

"Oh, it's definitely a threat." He rolled Danny over and began phasing away clothing while Danny laughed and pretended to resist. They scrabbled and grunted, wrestling for dominance, before Danny finally allowed Vlad to pin his wrists. Vlad sneered down at him. "How else did you plan to extort me that day, little badger?"

Danny's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Well, after my foot massage, I was gonna have you bake a bunch of my favorite cookies, then I was gonna get in your jacuzzi with a bottle of your most expensive wine and make you feed me cookies and refill my glass until I passed out or fell asleep."

"It's a good thing Vortex showed up before then."

"Why? You would've killed me?"

"No. I'd be out an eight-hundred-dollar bottle of Dom Pérignon"—Vlad's mouth twitched coyly—"and likely have a restraining order preventing me from coming within five hundred yards of a minor."

"God, you're such a creep," Danny said, but his eyes—and another part of him, farther down—disclosed his naked excitement.

Vlad basked in the insult as if it were sunshine. "What would you demand of me now?"

"Now?" Danny pursed his lips. "Well, it's a different situation."

"Naturally. But if I had to appease you, if you were under the influence of some terrible, destructive power, how should I keep you happy?"

"I dunno. Blowjobs on demand?"

"You can do better than that."

A minute passed before the pensive frown lifted from Danny's face. "Okay, a bath. A fancy bath. You'd have to wash every inch of me and rinse me and shampoo my hair and condition it, all in a huge tub with loads of bubbles and nice scented oils and stuff."

"Very good. Please continue."

"And then I'd have you dry me off and rub lotion on me and powder me, then dress me in a silk robe and feed me chocolate-covered strawberries."

"Is that all?"

"No." Danny smirked, his eyes drifting downward. "You would have to keep me satisfied. All I'd have to do is snap my fingers and you'd get on your knees for me, at any time. I could fuck you whenever I wanted, anywhere I wanted. Over your desk. In the kitchen, the shower. And I'd always get to come first. In fact, you wouldn't be able to come at all unless I gave you permission."

"That's very wicked of you."

"Hey, I learned it from the best."

They shared a brief chuckle before Vlad spoke again. "I was going to let you choose your punishment, but I'm afraid that's too generous. I think I'll just torture you."

"Oh, please," Danny scoffed. "You're too impatient for tor—" He choked on the rest of his words as Vlad's hand went intangible, sinking through Danny's erection and into his belly. "Oh—ohh." He felt Vlad's energy move inside him, spectral fingers curving downward until they wrapped around his prostate. "Oh, God, you're serious."

Laughter rumbled in Vlad's chest. He gave the gland a gentle squeeze, and a moan escaped Danny's lips.

"An eye for an eye, little badger. Though I think you'll enjoy this much more than a foot massage." He leaned down and sealed his mouth to Danny's. His arm, intangible to his elbow, glowed in vague blue-white outlines as it moved, slowly and rhythmically, his buried hand beginning the process of milking Danny's prostate from every imaginable angle.

"You're evil," Danny gasped.

"And yet you love me."

"I can't help it."

Vlad smiled. "Shh, now. No more talking."

And apart from the pleasure-stricken cries that came much later, Danny didn't say another coherent word for the rest of the night.

[akingofcarvenstone]

How do you or would you headcannon Bilbo and Thorin accidentally proposing or getting engaged and how would they proceed when they find out or the other accepts the proposal?

I'm so sorry for not noticing this ask sooner, but thank you! I rarely check this blog since I mostly stay on my main blog. And tbh it's been sooo long since I've been invested the fandom, so I'm not sure this answer will be the best thing I've come up with. I'm gonna need a refresher on Hobbit/LotR lore after this 😅

Well, to me, an accidental bagginshield proposal would occur one of two ways:

1) let's say that in dwarven culture (headcanon), giving your intended a great gift like a family heirloom or something personalized, would be a form of proposal.

Thorin giving Bilbo the mithril mail could have been his proposal, and while the other dwarves and Gandalf understand the meaning, Bilbo doesn't and no one tells him bc to everyone it just seems obvious. Everyone starts treating him with the same regard that they do with Thorin, their leader, and Bilbo notices the change in demeanor and asks either Bofur, Balin, or even Gandalf about it and they're like "Mr. Baggins, didn't you know? Thorin proposed to you, you are his consort! Congrats on being the only one to get through his rock solid heart!" And then he says something like, "I'm sorry, what?! What do you mean I'm his consort?!" "Don't you remember, when Thorin gave you the mithril vest? In our culture, giving a fine gift like that to your intended is a proposal! And you accepted his gift, so you sealed the deal." And Bilbo tries to tell them that he didn't know, that this is a mistake. But when he's asked whether he would like to return the gift and end the proposal, he can't do it, he doesn't want to, so he just goes on with the knowledge that he's the King's consort. Thorin would be so pleased that now he can be touchy feely with Bilbo, and it wouldn't really be much of a change from what they were like before, but now everyone knows and accepts. (And if you want the angst feelings, the scene at the end where he tells Balin what he feels about Thorin after he dies hits harder.)

2) if Bilbo proposes: like I said, I need a refresher on the lore so if there's a canon explanation for a Hobbit form of proposal or anything, just excuse me and let's pretend.

So, hobbits really love food and simple living and comforts, right? But that's not really possible when they're on a long journey, so Bilbo has to make do with what he has. Maybe they're short on their food supplies one day, and Bilbo has some food from back home that he packed and it's wrapped in a nice package, and he was saving it for himself, but offers it to Thorin and Co. And we all know Hobbits love to eat, and they eat a lot, so a few rolls of bread is like a snack to them, whereas for others it's a full meal, so the dwarves think he has a feast and is enough to feed them all for the night. Bilbo unintentionally proposed to Thorin by giving him a gift of a homemade 'meal' in a nice package, as is the custom (headcanon), and for a moment Bilbo forgets about it and just feels good for providing his friends with some food. Later that night, Gandalf reminds him, teasing him, about his proposal and Bilbo blushes and coughs nervously, saying he didn't mean to, but luckily, neither Thorin nor the other dwarves know about it so he thinks he's safe. But, Kili and Fili, sneaky little guys, were eavesdropping on their 'private' conversation and rush to let Thorin and everyone know about the meaning of Bilbo's gesture. Thorin scolds them for being nosy and that they probably heard wrong anyway, but the next day Thorin asks Gandalf and he confirms. Thorin says nothing but now that he knows, he allows himself to get physically and emotionally closer to Bilbo and from there, they kinda just live as a couple and no one questions it, they're happy for them!

It's been so long, but this is bringing back my bagginshield feels from back in the day 🥰

If anyone wants to write a fic or draw something inspired by this, you're welcome to do so, just let me know!

[the-orange-tabby-cat]

ALBUM OF THE DAY: Arctic Monkeys - Suck It And See (2011) (7/?)

WHICH PEDRO BOY IS BASED ON? Din Djarin

ALBUM VIBES (listen to it on Spotify)

A classic of the 2010s, this is one of the Arctic Monkeys masterpieces. With acid humor, nonsense lyrics, insightful observations, and rock sound, it perfectly matches the witty humor of the mandalorian himself, Din Djarin. This lyrics collection contemplates both phrases about Din and things I believe he would say. You can’t change my mind about him being a full gossiper and the funny friend when you get to know him better.

DIN DJARIN CODED LYRICS

“She came and substituted the peace and quiet for acrobatic blood” (She’s Thunderstorms)

“Here is your host, sounds as if she's pretty close. When the heat starts growing horns, she's thunderstorms” (She’s Thunderstorms)

“In an unusual place, when you're feeling far away, she does what the night does to the day” (She’s Thunderstorms)

“And I don't mean to rain on anybody's cabriolet” (Black Treackle)

“One of those games you're gonna lose but you wanna play it, just in case” (Black Treackle)

“Somebody told the stars you're not coming out tonight and so they found a place to hide” (Black Treackle)

“Now I'm out of place and I'm not getting any wiser” (Black Treackle)

“And I tried last night to pack away your laugh, like a key under the mat, but it never seems to be there when you want it” (Black Treackle)

“Just when things are getting complicated In the eye of the storm she flicks a red-hot revelation off the tip of her tongue” (The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala)

“Makes me wanna blow the candles out just to see if you glow in the dark” (The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala)

“I took the batteries out my mysticism and put 'em in my thinking cap” (The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala)

“When your judgement's on the run and you're acting like a stranger 'Cause you thought it looked like fun” (The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala)

“Her steady hands may well have done the devil's pedicure” (The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala)

“Break a mirror, roll the dice, run with scissors through a chip pan fire fight, go into business with a grizzly bear but just don't sit down 'cause I've moved your chair” (Don’t Sit Down ’Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair)

“Bite the lightning and tell me how it tastes” (Don’t Sit Down ’Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair)

“Caricatures of your wrecking ball gown in my mind all the time, I wanna be in that damsel patterned alley where you go for a smoke” (All My Own Stunts)

“Been watching cowboy films on gloomy afternoons, tinting the solitude” (All My Own Stunts)

“All my own stunts, high noon has changed its tune, linking arms, sinking hearts” (All My Own Stunts)

“I've been trying to figure out exactly what it is I need, called up to listen to the voice of reason and got the answering machine” (Reckless Serenade)

“Those twinkling vixens with the shining spiral eyes, their hypnosis goes unnoticed when she's walking by” (Reckless Serenade)

“I left my message, but did he fuck get back to me and now I'm stuck still wondering how it's meant to be” (Reckless Serenade)

“I etched the face of a stopwatch on the back of a raindrop and did a swap for the sand in an hourglass” (Piledriver Waltz)

“I heard an unhappy ending, it sort of sounds like you leaving. I heard the piledriver waltz, it woke me up this morning” (Piledriver Waltz)

“You look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel, and sat in the back booth by the pamphlets, and the literature on how to lose, your waitress was miserable and so was your food” (Piledriver Waltz)

“If you're gonna try and walk on water make sure you wear your comfortable shoes” (Piledriver Waltz)

“Mysteries flashing amber go green when you answer but the red on the rest of the questionnaire never changes” (Piledriver Waltz)

“I've tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I've had but you're always busy being make-believe” (Love Is a Laserquest)

“When I'm not being honest I pretend that you were just some lover” (Love Is a Laserquest)

“Now I can't think of there without thinking of you I doubt that comes as a surprise and I can't think of anything to dream about I can't find anywhere to hide” (Love Is a Laserquest)

“When I'm pipe and slippers and rocking chair singing dreadful songs about summer, will I have found a better method of pretending you were just some lover?” (Love Is a Laserquest)

“You're rarer than a can of dandelion and burdock and those other girls are just post-mix lemonade” (Suck It and See)

“Suck it and see, you never know, sit next to me before I go” (Suck It and See)

“Be cruel to me 'cause I am a fool for you” (Suck It and See)

“That's not a skirt, girl, that's a sawn-off shotgun and I can only hope you've got it aimed at me” (Suck It and See)

“How I often wonder where you are, you have got that face that just says "Baby, I was made to break your heart"” (Suck It and See)

“There are no handles for you to hold and no understanding where it goes” (That's Where You're Wrong)

“Jealousy in technicolor, fear by name, love by numbers, street lamp amber, wanderlust” (That's Where You're Wrong)

“She looks as if she's blowing a kiss at me and suddenly the sky is a scissor” (That's Where You're Wrong)

“Crushing up a bundle of love, don't take it so personally, you're not the only one that time has got it in for, honey, that's where you're wrong” (That's Where You're Wrong)

TRACKLIST (highlighted are the most Din Djarin coded songs)

1. She's Thunderstorms (03'54")

2. Black Treackle (03'37")

3. Brick By Brick (02'59")

4. The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala (03'00")

5. Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair (03'03")

6. Library Pictures (02'22")

7. All My Own Stunts (03'52")

8. Reckless Serenade (02'42")

9. Piledriver Waltz (03'23")

10. Love Is A Laserquest (03'11")

11. Suck It and See (03'45")

12. That's Where You're Wrong (04'16")

[bassettmemes]

BIG DUMB HEART, CHAPTER TWO ↳ a collection of lyrics from jenna raine's big dumb heart, chapter two ep, as well as the singles fumbled the bag and see you later (ten years).

IT IS WHAT IT IS.

"Shrunk all my clothes in the washing machine."

"Running on two or three hours of sleep."

"There's a light flashing in my car, I don't know what it means."

"Ya know what I mean?."

"Thought I knew chaos then I turned eighteen."

"Lemons make lemonade. Flowers bloom in the rain. Growing up is a pain. It is what it is."

"It's not the end of the world; there's always light where it burns."

"It's kinda weird, kinda fun, I'm a speck on a rock."

"You can laugh, you can dance with your stomach in knots."

"You can trip, you can slip, you can fall down again, again, again and again, and it all works out in the end."

CRUISE CONTROL.

"Play the role, do what I'm told and keep it quiet, a never ending picket fence to live and die in."

"It's never made sense to me, I don't want the same routine that's on repeat, don't want it easy."

"Deep inside I just want to get up and leave."

"Even my bedroom ceiling is getting a little bored, and I got no reason to stay here anymore."

"High speed driving into the unknown. It's about time to take my hands off the wheel and just breathe in."

"What a feeling, taking off the cruise control."

"Trust the silence of the empty road. Right now, I don't need to see where I'm going."

"What's a life if you don't go and live it."

"Take a risk, it's better than a million what if's."

"I guess I've always had one foot out the door. There ain't one good reason to stay here anymore."

NIGHTS LIKE THESE.

"Called me out the blue, you needed something to do, and you had one more seat left in the trunk."

"You said, "We're waiting outside, don't look at the time"."

"I put on my favorite sweater, then we got breakfast for dinner."

"And, when they kicked us out we went for a ride, laughed 'til we cried."

"It feels like a movie."

"Everything freezes for a second."

"I let my memory take a picture I won't delete."

"I hate when it hits me that we're getting older every second, slipping away between our fingers in a blink."

"We go park the car somewhere we can see the stars and the light pollution isn't so bad, and look out at the lights."

"Tell me about your dreams, they're not as scary as they seem."

"I can't wait to watch you make it big. Yeah, you're going far."

"It feels like forever."

"I don't wanna jinx it if I say it, but we could be friends through all the ages, don't you think?"

"The same stupid kids with older faces. I guess either way I wouldn't change a single thing."

"And, when I'm 60, pulling a box out of the attic, telling my kids about the past like yesterday, they'll point at the pictures, and I'll hear the laughter in the diner. The smell of the coffee and the pancakes never fades."

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR.

"I knew it straight away, he was gonna let you down."

"Gonna have to find out for yourself."

"Had to let the flame burn out, hate to see you hurting now. I won't say I told you so."

"I'll hold you when he won't, even if it's 2 AM, and you said you wouldn't cry again."

"You can show up at my door and pour your heart out on my floor."

"Why are you not on your way? Just 10 minutes on the interstate. If you can't show up at my door, and pour your heart out on my floor, then what are friends for."

"We can order too much food, watch a movie in my room, tomorrow we'll be sleeping in, waking up at 2 PM, when he texts you back, I'll make sure you don't text back."

FUMBLED THE BAG.

"I saw you out with your friends, same old cologne on your skin."

"You said, "I miss you" and "how you been?". You know I'm no good at this."

"My stomach's doing front flips, I used to know you, it makes me sick."

"So don't call me overdramatic, pretending the story of us isn't tragic."

"What if the best thing that you had is somebody that you want back?"

"What if the moment you walked away, you wished you turned around?"

"What if you got it all wrong and I was the one all along?"

"Hate to say, "I told you so", but baby ain't it sad? You fumbled the bag."

"You said your sister's engaged, she found love, you can't say the same."

"Thought that would be us one day."

"Small talk is hard to maintain when my heart's in 2019, you stood close and I just looked away."

"Now you gotta watch me give the world to someone else."

"You're throwing matches on a flame, but you're the one who burned it out."

SEE YOU LATER (TEN YEARS).

"It's funny 'cause I've always dreamed of me and you now here we are, staring at the stars."

"You just broke my heart even though you promised you'd never do that from the start."

"I guess we can only make it so far, 'cause time wasn't in our favor. This isn't "goodbye", this is simply "see you later"."

"Let me know when it's time to come back."

"Maybe when your life is on track, and you don't have to hesitate, hopefully it isn't too late. Luckily for you I'm patient."

"I'm OK with you making me wait and, as long as you're near, I'll be here, even if it takes ten years."

"Can't fall in love, when I found the one, how am I supposed to move on, when you're never really too far gone?"

"The memories won't go away, I feel pain every time I hear your name, but I always think of you the same."

[measuringbliss]

Glee Rewatch 1x20. What's the Glee Club all about, in the end?

At the time I'm writing this, I'm half-comatose because today sucks and I never sleep enough so I guess it's time to continue my rewatch!

Thankfully Principal Figgins is just as delirious as I am as he's very scared of colored hair and sick-ass outfits.

I'm Team Alice by the way. Jasper can join in if he wants.

(Are you confused? This post might enlighten you!)

Figgins's argument against gothic fashion makes just as much sense as my university department's decision to forbid laptops and phones, that is to say, you can easily debunk it and it is mind-numbing that such a person is in charge of, well, anything.

Thankfully this is Glee we're talking, and surely people IRL are much more thoughtful and logical and aren't complete asses, right?

Needless to say, the viewer is supposed to be on Tina's side here and she's absolutely right to scare Figgins away later in the episode by pretending to be a vampire.

Look at them! Burt and Kurt are on the same wavelength (look at the patterns!). That's good to see. The party is deceitful, just like Kurt's behavior towards Finn. There's lights, mirrors, ~ethnic food~ that is actually just tuna, it's artificial, it's trying to make Finn feel welcome, but it doesn't work because it's *too much*, just as Kurt's actions towards Finn. It's too much and it's not going to end well.

I love how the shortage of red lace and tinsel is a clear sign for the Glee Club that Vocal Adrenaline is doing Lady Gaga.

This trio is a very peculiar one. Color-wise, Quinn has been wearing red a lot recently. She's giving me Little Red Riding Hood vibes. Who's the wolf? Society, obviously. Society's gonna try to dry up Quinn's hope and faith to make a mindless zombie of her. Thankfully we all know she ends up marrying Rachel so everything's fine. They both wear blue! Mercedes meanwhile is set apart by wearing black and grey.

As much as I'm not into Shelby as a character, the scene where she sings Funny Girl and Rachel understands she's her mother is very beautiful. It's one of those rare, great Glee moments.

I think Shelby knew Rachel was in the room. She had to know, right? Do you think she decided on the Gaga number specifically so that Rachel would notice and investigate it?

As usual Will and Finn's clothes are very similar in spirit.

I guess this is the part where I mention I was at one of Gaga's Chromatica concerts? I'm no Gaga afficionado but the music was really good! She was very touching too, although I didn't particularly care about her "I play piano and sing" parts but to each their own, right? I enjoyed the experience. It was essentially a Pride Parade.

Anyway Kurt and Tina are rocking those outfits, and Quinn is jealous. Do we need to analyze those outfits? Kurt's is extravagant, you can't miss the pointy shoulders (a play on typical masculine shoulders that are more rounded), open collar (decolletage), the wig (higher status). Tina's is a bit more puzzling because we generally see less of Tina. The diadem is foreshadowing for season 4 (no it's not) and Tina's general development past S2 (no it's not); she's bubbly in this scene in a stark contrast to her goth persona from before. She's a side character who has multiple sides!

Quinn is all in pink! Suits her well, obviously, she looks like a real princess (the dress, the long gloves, the tights and shoes), if a bit rock'n roll-ish, say Louis XIV's court mixed with Interstella 5555. She tries to seem all girly and typical, but there's a strong personality underneath. Also, her spiky thing next to Tina's bubble is certainly a recipe for disaster. Gosh I love her outfit.

Mercedes's outfit is diva-esque but like Kurt there's an emphasis on the shoulders, mixing masculinity and feminity and exagerating it to the point of burlesque. I'm... not very fond of her look but she does rock it.

(Side note please Mike gimme your entire wardrobe.)

Santana's outfit is very precocious in terms of the show, as she hasn't yet developed much of a character but it's *exactly* the aesthetic she goes for later in the series. Dark, showy, sultry, and exceedingly distingued. Very classy.

Brittany's outfit is weird in that "old sci-fi series" department, the kind that is ridiculous. It somehow works on her. I have no idea what the lobster is supposed to mean. Is it astrology-related?

The scene between Finn, Kurt and later Burt is hard to watch. It's sad for everyone involved, but I think it was absolutely necessary. Kurt needed to be told that his behavior was inappropriate and made Finn genuinely uncomfortable. And Finn needed to hear Burt's talk to have a good look at himself.

And you know what? I admire Finn's courage to try and make ammends the next day. The next day! It's one of his characteristics, he's always trying to do his best, even when he's lost. And here, he knows that he was bad and shows himself as more mature than Kurt, who refuses to talk about it.

"I'm proud to be different. It's the best thing about me." is totally something I would say. You can really feel that the writers knew what they were doing with Kurt, he feels real and resonates in a way a lot of other characters simply don't.

Anyway, the episode ends on a cute note! And I personally feel a bit better. Isn't that what the Glee Club is all about?

[bluejaysandblackbats]

An Oyster's Pearl

Fandom: DC Comics

Summary: Shortly after moving in with Joseph Wilson, Grant Wilson makes friends with a fellow pledge for a fraternity. During this time, Grant grapples with realizations about his childhood trauma, his sexuality, and his relationships with his father and siblings.

Chapters: 2/?

Characters: Grant Wilson, Joseph Wilson, Rose Wilson, Dick Grayson, Slade Wilson, William Randolph Wintergreen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: Grant Wilson/Original Character, DickJoey

Additional Tags: University AU, No Capes AU, Angst, Deaf Joseph Wilson, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Grant Wilson has a Sexuality Crisis, Frat Boy Grant Wilson

Chapter Two: The Nest

I woke up before Joey and opened a jar of pickles. Joey put my name on the top because I liked to drink the brine from the glass. We tried not to share a lot of food for that reason.

It was his birthday, and I planned on making a big deal out of it for once. I picked out a cake and everything. But Joey is... Well, he's Joey, and he's got a lot of friends. I didn't expect he'd have time for me on his birthday, but I planned for it anyway. After I ate, I dressed and attempted to sneak out of the apartment. Joey tapped the counter, and I turned to look at him. "Leaving?" Joey asked. I nodded. "Where?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll be back in two hours," I replied. Joey screwed up his face, but he didn't say anything else. "Want anything from the store?"

"Ice cream. Doesn't matter what kind," Joey answered. I nodded and went to the store to pick up his cake and gifts. I think I was more excited about his birthday than he was. I wasn't big on celebrating things and I definitely wasn't much for feelings, but I liked birthdays. Birthdays were the one thing Slade couldn't ruin, no matter how hard he tried, because he was never there. This isn't about Slade, though. It's about Joey and me.

When I got to the store, I moved quickly and efficiently. "I thought you'd be hungover," a voice whispered in my ear in the produce section. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I turned around, and the guy from the party stood there, grinning at me. Ken. "Remember me from last night? I kicked your ass in arm wrestling."

"It wasn't that easy if I remember things correctly... And yeah, I do remember you, Ken," I replied.

If it wasn't apparent already by the big ass smile on his face, Ken said, "It's good to see you in the daylight."

"I've been known to come outside during the daytime," I replied sarcastically. Joey said that was why people thought I was an asshole, but it didn't seem to bother Ken. "Are you pledging Tau Psi?"

"Yeah, actually. I was kind of there for the booze, but then I thought if this guy, Grant, is pledging, it can't be that bad," Ken replied, "What brings you here to this fine establishment in the early morning?"

"Getting some groceries and picking up the cake for my brother's birthday," I answered as I went back to looking at individual carrots.

"Sick... Is he the guy with the curly hair that dragged you home last night?" Ken asked.

"Yeah, we're trying this whole living-together-as-adults thing after I left him with our suck ass parents when we were kids. It's been interesting so far. Lots of boundaries and rules," I replied. I realized I had said too much, so I stopped talking. When I turned around, he rocked back and forth, standing on his toes and then leaning back on his heels.

"So, this birthday makes up for it?" Ken asked.

"No... Birthdays are just a big thing—. What's your interest in me, anyway?" I asked. He chuckled and shrugged.

I walked over to the bakery, and he tagged along. I didn't mind it as much as I pretended to. I actually liked the company, even if he was weird. "I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna get you to hang out with me outside this grocery store," Ken replied.

"Give me your number," I replied as I gave him my phone. I hadn't met a guy so desperate to be my friend, but he seemed okay. He put his number in my phone, and I sent him a text. After that, he just left. I picked up the cake and paid for my groceries before grabbing Joey's presents from my P.O. box.

I told Joey all about Ken and how I saw him at the store, and he had a weird look on his face. "What? Does he sound insane or something?"

"No... I feel like you're missing an integral part of this story," Joey replied. He had a shit-eating grin on his face.

I didn't feel like arguing with him, so I tried to ignore it. "Are you having dinner here or going out with your boyfriend?" I asked.

I didn't like the guy. He'd been going out with my brother and didn't have the common decency to introduce himself. "What's your deal with my boyfriend? He's coming here for dinner tonight because I asked him to... So, be nice," Joey requested.

"Fine, but I don't have to like him if I meet him and he turns out to be an asshole," I replied, "And what's with that face?"

"What face?" Joey asked innocently.

"When you said that shit about me missing the plot. That shit you said just a minute ago," I replied.

"He wants you," Joey teased.

"Ken's not gay... Is he?" I asked. Joey messed up my hair and went back to his room. Why the fuck would he say that? Joey could be such an asshole sometimes, but the truth is... Maybe that's the only way he could be around me.

I snuck the cake out of the bag and put it in the freezer while I thought about what he said. I went to my room, unboxed, and wrapped his gifts. That was the one perk to Joey never helping me put the groceries away. Joey never saw his present or the cake. Once I put his first gift in a new box and wrapped it, I took it to his room and flickered his lights to get his attention. He looked up from his sketchbook and smiled. "Is that for me?" Joey asked.

"No! It's just your birthday, and I thought maybe I should treat myself," I replied. I gave him his gift and stood in the doorway with a smile on my face. "Unwrap it. Come on."

Joey smiled and opened his gift. He pulled his quilt out of the box, and his smile faded. "Come on, it's not like it's ugly. You're always complaining about how cold it is—."

"This is beautiful, Grant," Joey replied.

I relaxed. "Good," I whispered to myself. I sucked at giving gifts, but I knew this one meant something to Joey.

"Thank you," Joey smiled softly.

"It was between that and an electric blanket, but the quilt seemed more personal," I explained. Joey got up and hugged me, and while that might've been a heartwarming moment for any family that had a normal upbringing, it made me painfully uncomfortable. I gently pushed him away and went back to my room. He never took offense when I did it, but I hated how shitty it looked. Rose was much better with the emotional stuff than I was, but then again, she didn't have to grow up as we did. Affection was normal for her.

I'm not saying I'm more messed up than they are or that Rose had a better childhood... I'm just saying this is how I'm messed up.

[iloveprocessedcheese]

27, 28 and 29 for the music ask game?

hi vex! 🌚🌑🎧

27. rank an artists albums

I'm not sure if these questions were intended to be accompanied by a suggestion of an artist or whether the askee is supposed to pick the artist themselves - I shall choose myself in any case and I will pick my favourite band, The Cure 🌌🥀🌧️🌕🌆🕯️ I was gonna pick weird al cos he's an artist we have in common but I don't have a fixed ranking for his albums yet cos its only been six months or so since I started listening to him (that's very new for me). So the cure it is. These are my personal rankings of which ones I love the most/have the most personal meaning to me rather than which ones are the most "good" if that makes sense

S* tier - Wild Mood Swings, Disintegration

S tier - Bloodflowers, The Head on the Door, Wish

A tier - Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me, The Top, Faith, Japanese Whispers, Pornography

B tier - Seventeen Seconds, Three Imaginary Boys

C tier - 4:13 Dream, Self-titled

28. rank the songs in an album

for this one I will indeed pick weird al and ill pick poodle hat cos I'm still trying to figure it out yes but I think that one's definitely top 3 for me for major nostalgia factor and quality of bangers

S* tier - Hardware Store

S tier - Genius in France, Wanna B Ur Lovr, Why Does This Always Happen to Me, eBay, Angry White Boy Polka

A tier - Bob, Ode to a Superhero

B tier - Trash Day, Couch Potato, Party at the Leper Colony, A Complicated Song

29. what do you look for in a song or artist?

a big question with many answers. There are LOTS of things I look for in songs or artists not always in the same way or at the same time. I'm always conceptualising music as something that fulfills a sensory need, in the same way that food fulfills hunger and sleep fulfills tiredness, and that need is different at different times. Sometimes you want a big meal sometimes you want a light sweet snack and it's the same with music for me. I like the way different kinds of music can take you to a different world and make you feel so different, but can also match how you feel inside so surprisingly well, and either bring comfort to that feeling or entrench you in it even deeper. Sometimes I want bleeps and bloops to imagine myself as a funky robot. Sometimes I want dense shoegaze that sounds like a thick layer of raincloud because it hasn't rained in a couple weeks and I miss the rain. Sometimes I wanna get silly w it and dance to mid 2000s pop bangers. Sometimes I wanna sit and brood to goth music. Sometimes I want a 17 minute prog rock song to take me on a journey. Sometimes I wanna listen to jazz fusion and pretend im sweating my ass off in a tiny apartment in 70s NYC. Sometimes I wanna play weird YouTube mashups on repeat because they scratch my brain. For example. You get the point. I don't think too much about "good" music or "bad" music. If it fulfills a need in my brain, then that's good enough for me

Thanks for asking!

[rockbottomwithashovel]

Ask thing<33

51, 63, 03, 18, 69

First of all, I have reached the stage of lacking sleep where I will say any and every thought without remorse. So you're gonna get some weird answers and much more than you asked for, but anyway, love you!!

3. Do you regret anything? Being born?? Nah, yeah a lot of things, but not enough to be important, you know? I don't regret the mistake that I made, that I used to use as an excuse to blame myself for being bullied. He and I made up in the end, but the others didn't accept it. Still, I don't regret it. I'm traumatized, but I learnt a lot. I think I needed a kick in the teeth then (lol that comes out bad when you were there). But I do regret 2 particular nights, which have quite literally scarred me for life. I'm doing all I can to drown it out because I have no therapist. I'm trying to pretend it didn't happen but it's really fucking hard to forget. The other... I'll be vague rather than trauma-dumping, but I blame myself, and I wish I had listened to everyone and my gut.

18. Are you scared of spiders? Well this is an interesting one for an Aussie to answer (it's funny, I'm like, proud to be aussie, but I also hate the government and the system and am PISSED OFF because tomorrow is Invasion Day but it still gets celebrated as Australia Day, anyway this is off topic). So some spiders? Scary af. I grew up reading the spider charts in the nurse's office of "friendly spiders" "got to hospital spiders" "paralyze you spiders" and "kill you spiders" so I'm naturally scared. But then you have Barry the Bathroom spider, I thought he was a daddy long legs, but he is actually a she and having babies. Plot twist, there were multiple Barrys and I didn't know. Living where I live, there is always going to be at least 3 spiders in your house, but as long as they're the OK ones, I'm fine. But if it's on me or drops from the ceiling like a fucking drop bear or something I'm catching that fucker and taking him outside (or taking him out if he looks dangerous)

51. favourite food? Oof, good question. I adore chocolate cake, but I would straight up eat a whole pizza if I was hungry enough and it was the right type. Pizza, and pasta, basically just Italian cuisine, is god tier. Also rice though. Bread is fucking amazing, I had some for the first time all month today, which was fun. Chips! I fucking LOVE hot chips, they're very sentimental to me and my sister given our upbringing, also pot noodles... haha. I so didn't grow up normal or healthy.

63. Would I change my name? OK so I like my real name, I think my nickname suits me. Originally when I was online for the first time I used the alias Raven, but then Shit Went Down, Trauma Was Made, and I decided to go by Scarlet. I feel like if I were to ever legally change my name it would be to either Raven or Scarlet, but I've actually grown really attached to being Rock with this account! It feel most like me now, but I can't tell anyone irl that. idk, it's confusing. Long story short(er) I wouldn't legally change my name except if I do go through with my revenge plans.

69. haha. 69. I'm so mature. Do you believe in soulmates? Yes, whole heartedly, thanks to 3 people: 1) my twin sister, we are platonic soulmates, I will not be elaborating, and my grandparents on my dad's side, who have been together since they were 12 and my grandpa found out my grandma liked him, he walked over and kissed her, and they've been together ever since (they're in their late 80s?? early 90s??) and are perfect together.

This became WAY more rambly than I normally am, sorry!! I'll edit it later, if I remember, otherwise, sorry for the random info dump! Thanks for the ask <33

[love-shall-not]

David and the Big Guy

As the shepherd boy, David was herding his flock He spied a mass of a man, atop a great rock. With an army behind him, this man was a hulk, Over seven feet tall, and muscles for bulk.

In a booming deep voice, the giant he shouted, "Hey you over there, I thought you'd been routed!" "What me?", said young David, in a tremulous tone, "I'm just a young shepherd sir; please leave me alone."

The giant, now angered, well that was his way, Marched down from the rock, much to David's dismay. Marching towards our hero, at a fast pace, The giant blotted the sun, from poor David's face.

"I'm gonna smite you, you pipsqueak, and all of your kind", "And then when I'm done, I'm gonna be even less kind", "Your mother, your father, and all of your kin", "will be food for the buzzards after I begin!".

"Please sir! Just leave us; we are simple folk", Said David, pleading, crying as he spoke. "Listen you bumwad, get out of my way!" "I've got some killing to do, and I don't have all day".

This angered young David, who thought, "what a dick?", And pretending to bow down, a smooth stone he did pick And fitting the stone into his toy sling, David held the handle and got ready to swing

With all of his strength, he whirled with a blur, And with split-second timing, launched the stone in the air. Time slowed down, as the stone made its flight, And David soon saw that his timing was right.

For as the gap closed between the stone and the giant, The path of its arc became wholly apparent. Weighted down with his armour, a shield and a sword, the giant's movement was hopelesly impaired.

And but for this reason, he was unable to stop, The stone which struck him on his big curly mop. There was a crack of skull bone, and a pick mist of blood, aghast, the giant's army all gasped where they stood.

With a slow falling motion, the giant sank to his knees, And then made a sound akin to sneeze. Uttering his last moan, as the breath left his body, Goliath the Giant, once strong, was now shoddy.

And David, amazed at his lucky shot, Shouted expletives to the army, who dispersed at a trot. Hailed by his people, a victor so great, They made David a chieftain, thus sealing his fate.

Leader of his people, was young David's destiny, And food for the crows was all Goliath would be. So, you see all you readers, that this much is true, Whatever lessons you learn take the following with you:

'Nothing ain't safe, from shivers and shocks, When the neighbourhood kids, gets to slingin' them rocks!'