#well that incident happened in zone 3 so

[justneury]

- Past Jacob/ Jacob zone 1 post -

He sends you to fix the lights in the mines, but now you have a... *little* problem.

Small lore dump down here!1!

Jacob was originally an elsen who lived in zone 1, where he learned about mechanics and electrical issues from books he got from an Elsen who sold them.

He was always interested in the subject, and, it is something different than being a miner, or... working in Shachihata, or in Alma.

It was all trial and error as he learned.

The bad thing is that it made him one of the only Elsen electricians and mechanics there were, and well, sometimes he had to go to the mines when the lights didn't work and... He had to fix them.

The bad thing is that these mines are infested with spectres... and he got hurt a couple of times.

But Jacob cannot deny the order, he is afraid of Dedan. He is afraid of disobeying him or, as usually happens, to accidentally make a mistake because of his own clumsiness and be scolded... He doesn't likes to be yelled at, nor be disobedient to his Guardian...

(You get the point of why he moved to zone 3, lol. Obviously Is more than that, but, that's another topic for later.)

[lazycats-stuff]

Could you do batfam x baby bat reader? Where reader is a tiny force of chaos who likes to run around and cause mischief, and the only person he’s perfectly behaved with (aside from Alfred) is Damian, and while the rest of the family is trying to figure out why, Damian is just being smug cause even as an infant his little brother obviously knows who his superior brother is

Oh that would totally happen. I mean, Alfred already has authority, but Damian? Bruce would definitely be confused.

Summary: (Y/N) knows that Damian is not to be messed with. Bruce is about to give up parenting.

Warnings: family fluff, Damian is a cocky one, but in a good way.

Amongst Bruce's children, Damian was the only one who was biological. Was is the most important part. Bruce was notified one night that he had a son and that the mom passed away during childbirth. Bruce was shocked to hear it, but made a paternity test to make sure that (Y/N) is his.

After a few minutes over the Batcomputer, Bruce confirmed it and quickly took his son back to the manor. (Y/N) was a small bundle, born as a premature baby, but he wasn't in a danger zone. Thankfully. However, he had to eat every few hours and both Alfred and Bruce made sure he ate to grow.

Of course, there was no abundance of shock and overall jealousy. A baby takes up a lot of time away from the other kids and it was just a complete mess for a few months. But all of them grew to like the little boy, but Damian was the one who had the hardest time doing it.

Damian enjoyed being the only biological son and more importantly, he loved throwing it in his brother's faces that he is superior to all of them. Of course, with another biological son, that went south and he was mad. He didn't want anything to do with the little boy, but (Y/N) grew on him.

Damian became especially protective of his little baby brother and he has swore to himself that he would kill again if necessary. Just for his brother. Damian was sure that Jason has swore the same thing too, especially since the incident at the gala when he was taken for ransom.

It was painful to see (Y/N) in the kidnapper's arms, crying out to his family to save him. Damian got a few hits when (Y/N) was secured and it took his brothers and about 3 more GCPD officers to contain him. Of course, the officers allowed him to get a few hits. If there is one thing you don't do in the justice system, more so if you know what happens to people who are in jail for messing with children and that one thing would be messing with children.

Especially with babies and slightly older children. They are the most defenseless ones out there and if you hurt them, well, you are in a world of hurt and pain.

Without a doubt.

Damian is the first one to act on it, right after inmates. Inmates were making sure that the bastards got what they deserved. After that evening, Damian held (Y/N) the entire night, just being there, making sure that his brother is safe.

He woke up at the slightest suspicious sound from (Y/N), observing and listening to the sounds.

As years have passed, (Y/N) has become chaotic and overall just mischievous child. There was never a dull moment with (Y/N) and Damian smiled every time that (Y/N) did something,

Bruce and the rest didn't want to stop (Y/N) and punish him for it, but they had to set firm boundaries, otherwise there would be a problem in the future and taming that problem would be difficult beyond belief.

(Y/N)'s mischievous side was first discovered when he was in kindergartens. It has started innocently and then it turned into watch out type of situation.

It was more than harmless, but still enough to scold the little boy. Scold may be too harsh, but they they had to put up firm boundaries. But (Y/N) still did it and it was something nice to see. Children should be children and Bruce wanted (Y/N) to be a child.

But still, boundaries had to be made.

But there was something about it all that made (Y/N) not want really behave. Bruce had no authority, Jason had no authority, Dick had no authority and Tim had no authority. None of it. (Y/N) often laughed at whatever they had to say.

Alfred had authority, but lets be honest, Alfred has all of the authority in the household and over the people living in it. That is an unspoken rule and Alfred could make (Y/N) behave quickly and efficiently. It made everyone feel like they were the ones being scolded.

And besides, without Alfred this house would crumble. Lets be honest, there is no Wayne Manor without Alfred. He just has that silent authority and nobody dared to defy the man.

If Alfred says, you have to go to sleep and eat, you are going to sleep and eat. Of course, (Y/N) felt it and has always behaved for Alfred.

But Damian was a whole another phenomenon in the house. It was shown when Alfred wasn't home and there was no one with enough authority to keep (Y/N) in line. However, there was Damian and Bruce saw it.

(Y/N) was being mischievous and Bruce has kept his eye on him, but he must have turned around for just a moment and (Y/N) was gone. Bruce freaked out a little bit when he couldn't find his son. He looked around everywhere and felt a little bit scared when he saw that the doors leading to the garden were open.

Bruce quickly ran outside and stopped when he heard Damian scolding (Y/N). Bruce could hear something about trying to climb a tall tree and something about being seriously hurt. Bruce watched from afar and (Y/N) looked genuinely apologetic.

Damian wasn't harsh in his scolding, but (Y/N) looked sad and Damian gave him a hug to comfort him and made him promise that the two would play later today. (Y/N) loved puzzles and Bruce always made sure to buy more puzzles for (Y/N).

His brain is better without all the excessive technology either way.

Bruce asked Damian how he did it, but Damian refused to answer, simply leaving with a smirk. Bruce sighed quietly as he stood in the garden alone, trying to process it all.

That wasn't the only incident that Bruce witnessed and it soon involved his brothers too and Alfred.

Little by little, everyone started seeing that (Y/N) was slowly behaving when Damian simply called his name out. It looked like Damian has developed a great sense for when (Y/N) was going to do something that would either hurt him or just somebody else and (Y/N) listened.

Alfred was thoroughly impressed with how a single word, (Y/N) would calm down. Alfred also had the same thing with (Y/N). A simple call out of his name and the boy would settle, knowing exactly that Alfred is not messing around.

But then again, (Y/N) knows who is the boss.

And Damian had his own theory why (Y/N) listened to him. There is a little thing called a superior brother. And a biological connection too and yes, Bruce has argued that he is the father, but Damian has simply said that he is superior.

Of course, his brothers weren't safe from the superior remarks.

Jason was ready to deck Damian every time he has heard that remark, but still remained curious as to how (Y/N) listens to Damian and not him. He is a better brother.

Tim didn't care, happy that there was someone other than Alfred could keep (Y/N) in line and safe. Even if that someone is Damian with whom he isn't in a great relationship, but he is trying to be civil because of (Y/N). And it was working, sort off at least.

Dick was just jealous that (Y/N) listened to Damian. Don't get him wrong, he loves Damian with all of his heart and is happy that he isn't mad anymore about being the other biological sibling, but it was still painful for his heart.

What did just Damian have that they didn't, excluding Alfred of course.

Well, Damian has an answer for all of them, with his signature smirk inherited from his father, the infamous 'batsmirk.'

" He actually knows who is his superior brother, no? "

Damian said with so much smugness and Jason wanted nothing more than to deck his brother with so much force that would removed Damian's head from his body.

Bruce choose to observe instead and Dick was just plane sad at the mere authority that Damian seemed to exude. Silent authority, just like Alfred.

Tim was curious too and he is just going to wait to see how the situation unfolds in the following years. This is going to make an interesting case and observation of (Y/N)'s growing up.

[puppetmaster13u]

Well Shit I'm Actually Writing This-

So have Art & a WIP of one of the ideas <3 ------------------------------------------------------------

   “What the fuck.” 

   The fish-snake-whale-man seemed to go through several expressions within a few moments, finally ending on one that Danny could only describe as, this may as well happen but still what the Fuck. And then he was being picked up, which he should not be that small, but the not-ghost was also huge- 

   “That- this is a whole ass child,” the fish-man seemed to be going back to hysterical, the emotion practically dripping in the air. “Holy shit you’re a whole ass child- y-you’re what, five?” 

   Danny let out an angry noise at being called so tiny, even as he inwardly acknowledged the fact that he was incredibly small at the moment. Stupid zone and stupid ghost bullshit. He could be back home sleeping but noo, when would he ever get to actually sleep on a school night. 

   They made another hysterical-sounding noise, head falling back against the wall. “Oh fuck you’re an actual full on child- why is a child down here-” they took a deep breath, lure dimming as they closed their eyes. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck-" 

   That was a lot of cursing, and honestly Danny couldn’t help the judgment that crossed over his face as he tried to squirm free from their hold. Maybe he’d gotten used to the whole wish-cursed situation that was in Amity, but really he didn’t think that much cussing was required. 

   Then again, he didn’t exactly have a good idea about what this place even was- but he’d been in far more dangerous places! Probably. He thinks at least? Look, he’d already established there was something wacky going on with his head, so it wasn’t his fault if this turned out as dangerous as some of his worse incidents. 

   Well, it couldn’t be as dangerous as opening an interdimensional portal right on top of himself, so.

Who knows if I'll finish enough of this to actually post it as a full story on AO3 lol, but lemme know if u have ideas or wanna be tagged

Also for those who want Lore: Here's Sebastian's Wiki Page

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!!! =D

So. We Are ep 13. I don't how they do this, but they keep making every episode better than the last. At this rate, I'll not be able to survive episode 16.

Warning: long post 😊😅 (there will be a smol part 2 because 30 screenshots are definitely not enough.)

We have the Best Parents in BL, but now I present to you: The Best Aunt in BL.

Subtle, Aunt Pui, real subtle. 😭

I get her. She just wants a nice, handsome boyfriend for her nephew. 😌

First of all, the symbolism is hitting me right in the face, but it's also so subtle because no one else knows the whole story, so they wouldn't be able to figure it out.

Secondly. Yes, the red and blue do clash a bit, and it's not the prettiest little painting. But. Not every painting has to be "pretty" or perfect. Just like feelings or emotions in real life. Peem didn't willingly draw over his precious painting because he thought it'd look better; he did it because he wanted it to express his feelings. This also ties into Peem's insecurity at having (apparently) failed at being Phum's comfort zone because see, in the painting it looks like the sea is embracing the roses, or protecting them.

What I'm trying to say, is that what makes art beautiful is not just what you directly see on the canvas/right in front of you. And this applies even to the "pretty" ones. The David is not just famous because it looks very good, but also because of the amount of skill and talent Michelangelo had to be able to create such a thing from a block of marble. (I'm sorry I'm not good at examples or analogies 😭)

Sir. What business do you have, making an expression like that and giving me a heart attack.

If I haven't said this before: find a man who looks at you like Phum (Pond) looks at Peem (Phuwin).

Two sides of the same coin.

Phum still feels guilty (which is very clear from his reaction to what Peem says) about ruining Peem's painting, so he wants to do something to make sure nothing like that ever happens to Peem again.

Peem is long over it (you don't ever forget shit like that, but he has definitely forgiven Phum). He met Phum because of that Incident™, and he has a new, upgraded painting, so this is just a light joke for him. But the moment he sees it's too soon for Phum, he immediately goes to reassure him he's just kidding, and he absolutely does not hold it over Phum.

A simple pinky promise, but how much does it mean to Phum?

He's never had someone to make a pinky promise with; Fang was in a similar situation as him, and Beer knew better to make a promise and have it broken by forces outside his control.

So this, this small, childish gesture means quite a bit to him. (Which is also probably why having broken it hurt him so much.)

And yet Peem, you're smiling so wide while saying that. Almost like *le gasp* you actually like it!

Let's be real here, Peem. You don't mind at all. In fact, you sounded unbearably fond saying this. You were quite literally giggling and kicking your feet. (Which fits my headcanon of him pretty well actually.)

This shot. Just >>>> (actually thinking of making it my header-)

Ma boy never misses a chance 😭👍🏼

And if he doen't get a chance, he makes one and nails that too. <3

SO CUTEE 🥺🫶🏼

Oh the teasing is on.

Pun: I did that 😌

Beer: Idiots in love. Again. *exasperated sigh*

[From this point on, I am extremely sleep deprived, so most comments made will probably (definitely) be forgotten by the time I wake up (I'm going right to sleep after posting this.]

Well, Chain, I'm sorry to be the one telling you this, but Phum moved into Peem's heart like 6 episodes ago.

Well, yeah, but Peem has to act at least a little bit like the tsundere he is, right?

Chain: "Well, can a cupid shoot an arrow at himself?"

Toey: *very telling side-eye*

Q: You really think one flirty line will trigger his half braincell to understand what he didn't in the past however many years? ...go on, I wanna see how this turns out

Pun: *pikachu meme face*

Beer: Oh damn here goes another one, we must be nearing the last episode

Phum: ????

Peem: Don't say anything don't say anything DON'T SAY ANYTHING DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING SAY A SINGLE WORD- (internally: Idiots. They're idiots.)

Ah, I love the sibling energy here. Also, initially I was like nah you're more like Tan. But then I gave it some thought. And had a Realization: he really is the Fang in their relationship, and Q really is the Tan. (I do not have the brainpower to explain rn, but tell me if you want me too, I'll include it in Part 2.)

Phum can't wait. (And neither can Peem, because I didn't see ya denying anything, babe. Instead, you gave him the softest shoulder bump in the history of soft shoulder bumps and that bigass (smitten) smile.

Oh boy this scene.

Right before this, when Peem called Phum immediately after the last brushstroke, I was smiling so hard and giggling like yesss do boyfriend-y things with each other!

Him waiting on the porch: still big smile. Here comes Phum! Ooh are they gonna flirt in the car??

My smile started dimming as the seconds ticked by and no Phum appeared on screen.

Until I finally realized what was happening.

I almost stopped breathing.

And as the scene went on my heart broke a little more with every text and every call, and I was watching that mall scene again. Except it was much much worse this time.

So long story short, I was heartbroken for both of them. Especially when Peem showed up alone with the saddest lost-kitten face ever.

But, at this point I knew Phum must have had something really urgent/unaviodable to miss his meeting with Peem because 1. He really really loves that boy and 2. He was very much looking forward to doing this with Peem.

Unfortunately, I will have to end Part 1 here (please don't kill me), and I'm loathe to end on a sad note, but I promise the next part will be much happier. It will hopefully be posted a little later today.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a pudding 🍮

My previous We Are posts.

[sanjiscigarettes]

Op men when you stop giving them attention randomly

fandom: One piece.

Characters: monkey.d.luffy, roronoa Zoro, vinsmoke Sanji. Fem reader in mind

Monkey.D.luffy:

Bro how are you even going to ignore luffy. You have to keep eyes on him. Lift an eye to another sight for 3 milliseconds and the next thing you know he is wrestling a gorilla.

He Whines alot.

get ready to get gomu gomu no-ed to his chest-

he'd pick a fight with any strawhat to grab your attention. (You don't cheer, you just help poor chopper after the fight)

He likes clinging and hugging you while whining which HE DEFF WOULD CUZ HE HAS AN IQ OF A TODDLER (which is cute). (a/n maybe the IQ the size of a germ)

"so in the next Island, THERE IS A ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. FULL OF MEAT!! what do you say y/n? We should definitely go sometime! You, me, Zoro, Ussop, nami-" he paused as he realized you weren't paying attention. You were across the room talking to robin.

The next thing you were about to hear was something that made your heart jump out. "GOMU GOMU NOOO" his hand placed on your shoulder. You gulped. Everyone fell quiet. Next thing you know Zoro starts praying to jesus even though he's an atheist, (wow Luffy changing religion rn) "wait LUFFY NO PLS-" "Y/N CHWANN!!!" Sanji exclaimed. "ROCKETT" "LUFFY YOU LITTLE SHIT-" Zoro yelled, you were on the floor. Luffy was on top of your back. "Luffy- mph- why?"

"because you left me outt!!!"

"I would like to have a conversation with Luffy" Nami said

Next thing you know he comes back with a red head and Botox lips.

Roronoa zoro:

Bro is the one ghosting you most of the time.

However if he somehow has a change of heart. And you start ignoring him, the change of heart will change.

He will DRAG YOUR ASS, NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE.

"which one should I get?" Zoro asked you, pointing at the three swords.

You simply ignored. "Y/n, which.one.should.i.get."

You continued to ignore him. next thing yk, he pins you somewhere behind the store. "I know damn well you heard me. Why are you ignoring me-"

You just keep silence.

"fine, I'll make you talk.."

..

He slapped the shit out of you btw, it was one slap but it was pain. "OWHHH, WHAT WAS THAT FOR???"

"for ignoring me woman. Now let's go back to the store"

Sanji didn't let this slide, he saw the slap and he fought Zoro for the entire day.

Vinsmoke sanji:

Poor dude. Bean

He'd think that he upset you :"(

probably be concerned at first.

(One time it happened that you zoned out, and he accidently hit your face with a frying pan. He apologized so much.) He might think that's the reason. (It happened two years ago btw)

he will make you COMFORT FOOD

"Y/NNNNNN-CHWANN YOU WANNA HELP ME BAKE TODAYY??" He remembered today, you promised to help him bake a cake, he was all jumpg and excited, so you felt kinda guilty to ignore him.

"y/n-chwan?" He asked. you just kept ignoring.

He paces around the room, trying to remember if he upset you. Suddenly he had those flashbacks, the frying pan incident.

next thing you know you come in. And there's you fav food, with a note. Saying that he's so sorry about the frying pan incident.

"Ji that was two years ag-"

"I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. BUT I FIGURED YOU'RE MAD AT ME AND THATS WHY YOUR IGNORING ME IM SO SORRY YNN CHWAN I DONT MEAN TOooOo" he starts bowing down and crying. You hug him saying that you're really sorry (YOUR A MONSTER :" [ )

[calliethetrekkie]

Star Trek TOS S01E19: Arena

Original Thoughts

"Well now I know which episode those screenshots of Kirk fighting lizard men that are clearly guys in uper cheap costumes come from. So Kirk is forced into a battle to the death more or less against a vicious alien species by another alien species of greater power. Man, they’ve had bad luck with the latter thus far. Despite the cheapness making it hard to take seriously, it was cool to see Kirk get to fight full-on against something since episode 3. Shatner kinda overacted a bit with the dialogue, but was fine otherwise in a more action-oriented episode that had Kirk completely on his own with no help available to him. Kirk’s proven to be quick-witted in the past, such as in the previous episode, but he had nothing but wits and a communicator here, and he was awesome! The Gorn are also dangerous but also display intelligence and cunning like how the one came pretty close to killing Kirk and devising a way to trap him. The Enterprise’s helplessness in this situation is also very strong with even Spock unable to do anything but wait it out. A cheap episode for sure, but a good episode regardless."

Rewatch Thoughts

Wow Callie, way to not even pay attention to the moral of the episode, you dummy!

When going back to rewatch this one, I only remembered two things about it: the Gorn and the scene where McCoy tries to hold Spock's hand while they're watching Kirk struggle. The former cause of that legendary costume, the latter cause... well, me taking in every Spones moment that I can. Otherwise? I remembered virtually nothing else. It sucks that I forgot about most of it, but it's also kind of nice cause I got to experience it again, and DEAR GOD this is so much better than I had remembered!

The first part of the episode is great, from Kirk and McCoy being all giggly and cute in the transport room to them finding the base they were going to utterly obliterate. Only one guy was still alive and it was an active blast zone as well that only our three mains, the dying guy, and one Blue shirt survived. We're left wondering WTF happened and Kirk... well, he doesn't take the incident well. He declares it an invasion and goes after the ship of those responsible, fully intending to return the favor.

It was a little scary TBH to see Kirk so... I guess the word that works best is vengeful. I don't think I've ever seen him this willing to kill an enemy before, even in Conscience of the King he kept his cool overall. I guess given the amount of life lost, even compared to say Balance of Terror, it makes sense. It's not OOC either, we've seen Kirk flare up whenever any of his men are killed/threatened (The Man Trap, Balance of Terror, The Corbomite Maneuver to some extent) so what looks like a calculated attack on this level? And when he's the only one in a position to give pursuit? Yeah, Kirk ain't gonna let that go. He's going to find whoever/whatever did this and stop it before such a thing happens again.

This presents a problem, however, that being how irrational Kirk is being. I don't mean that in a bad way either, it's interesting to see this side of Kirk. He's so determined to pursue this enemy, to take them down, that he doesn't care about any possible explanations about why the Gorn did what they did. Spock tries to express that very concern, but it falls on deaf ears and he pretty timidly falls back into place. Spock's very much been willing to question Kirk before, we saw it in Conscience of the King, but in that instance, he had time to go over everything before choosing to confront Kirk and also discuss it with McCoy, who noticeably stays in Sickbay until Jim gets whisked away. Given McCoy's the one who would most likely speak back and try to talk Jim out of it/appeal to him emotionally, keeping him in Sickbay with the traumatized, nearly dead officer and thus unable to be Kirk's soundboard to vent his emotions to had to have been on purpose. That's not to say that Spock is a mindless follower, he isn't by any means. But at least at this stage of ST, I don't think he has the nerve to argue or defy Kirk without being prepared for it or without McCoy or someone else in his corner to back him up. Plus logically, what can he argue against Kirk when he's not gonna listen? He can't. This is why in cases like Conscience of the King and later in Obsession, you need Spock and McCoy both standing up to Kirk: alone they probably couldn't do much, but together? Jim doesn't stand a chance haha.

Even the crew is pretty mortified by Kirk's recklessness and... for lack of a better word, murderousness. Uhura gives him some mega side-eye when he and Spock are talking, and everyone looks mortified when Kirk keeps making them go up to more and more dangerous Warp levels. They don't go against the orders, but it's very clear that they're unsettled. Kirk is very much presented as in the wrong and dangerously reckless for everyone. He doesn't even really give a damn when Uhura tells him that they're being scanned nor questions why the Gorn are coming to a dead stop when entering the mysterious galaxy, only caring that they have the chance to shoot them down. He is laser-focused on shooting down the enemy, and this bites him in the ass hard as the Metrons, unhappy to have this quarrel brought to their end of the universe, forces Kirk and the Gorn Captian to settle the matter... one-on-one.

Kirk is in a bad position, but it's kind of cool to see him under conditions like this. He has no weapons, no way to communicate with he Enterprise, he has nothing but his own wits. He's against a Gorn, who is much stronger and as Kirk finds out, very much intelligent. That's one thing I enjoy about the Gorn, they are brutish and violent, but the Gorn Captian at least isn't stupid. Kirk mistakes the alien translator that the Metrons outright told him that they were giving him to talk directly to the Gorn. In other words, because Kirk didn't pay close enough attention to the Metrons words, he gave away EVERYTHING that he was thinking and doing to the Gorn, who took all of that, and countered. He even set up his own trap and Kirk survived by the skin of his teeth. Ironically the guy in the cheap lizard costume was the one being smart and calculative, while Kirk... well sorry honey, but you're kind of an idiot during most of this. But it's okay, I know it's cause your two brain cells aren't with you.

Speaking of said brain cells, the Spock and McCoy moments during all of this are so good! I mentioned the hand-chasing bit, which is still fantastic and I'll never get over the fact that De Kelley decided that was perfectly IC to do. But even disregarding that, this is a really good one to watch if you wanna see a good example of their relationship when they aren't bickering. You can REALLY tell that McCoy wants to when he gets to the Bridge and presses Spock for answers, but he actually holds it in. Likely due to the time-pressing circumstances, but still. I mean he even turns the Captain chair so Spock can sit in it properly (my hilarious theory is Nimoy somehow missed it when filming so they had to have De holding it so Nimoy wouldn't hurt himself), how anyone can look at them here and think they hate each other I'll never know. I also love how it's when McCoy appeals to the Metrons to let them see Jim that the Metrons decide to show some compassion and comply. It's an early sign to them that humans aren't just savage killers, and it's Leonard 'The Heart' McCoyt hat starts it.

Spock also doesn't even attempt to hide his emotions here, his uncertainly over what to do and how he doesn't know where Jim is, his fear and worry when seeing Kirk near death, his relief when Kirk starts piecing together what to do with the resources around him, and let's not forget earlier where he decided that going after Kirk in an active blast zone was a perfectly logical thing to do. Seriously, this is also a great episode to point to whenever Spock claims he has no emotions cause... yeah sorry Spock, all you've proven is how Vulcans are giant ass liars.

Honestly, this is such a good episode showing how devoted the Enterprise crew is to Kirk. When Kirk instructs Sulu to abandon the landing party if necessary and to protect his ship, Sulu very clearly does NOT want to do it. He knows he has to comply, but if he has the chance to save Kirk and the others, I don't doubt at all that he would do it. Despite the visible shock regarding Kirk's orders and actions, all of the Bridge are horrified and worried when he disappears and when they see how badly he's doing. Poor Uhura looks like she's about to cry I swear. Kirk has his bad moments, but ultimately he's a respected Captain for a reason and Uhura, Scotty, and Sulu especially know that (and Chekov but he ain't around yet). No one wants anything to happen to him and if anyone on that ship could do something to save him, they would. They're so devoted to Kirk, even when they disagree with him, and I love it.

All that said, in the final stretch the Gorn finally speaks and we find out why they obliterated the Base and everyone on it: because Starfleet were the invaders. The space was the Gorn's and Starfleet suddenly setting up a base there scared them and they concludedconclusion that it was an enemy attack waiting to happen. While they certainly jumped the gun... I don't blame the Gorn too much, to be honest. You see these people that look virtually alien to them settling in without any explanation about where they're form or what they intend, what other conclusion is there to make? I don't believe Starfleet was attempting to do anything malicious, at least in this case, but the fact that they just assumed the space was free for the taking... yeah, not one of your better moves guys. Did that justify the Gorn's actions? It's hard to say since they certainly had an understandable reason, but it still caused massive casualties that I think could have been avoided had the two sides just... talked and mediated things. Still, as McCoy points out, Starfleet was the one in the wrong first, and Kirk just about nearly caused even more unnecessary bloodshed because he didn't at all consider why this happened to begin with.

Given that, it makes sense why the Metrons would see us humans as primitive savages (poor Spock getting lumped in there too haha), especially with Kirk's behavior up to that point. It makes his decision to NOT kill the Gorn Captain, despite having blasted him to near death and having the perfect opportunity, all the more impactful. Throughout the episode, it's all he'd wanted to do, to the point of endangering the Enterprise and everyone on it to get the chance. But having now heard the Gorn's reasonings and being able to look at his own actions, he realizes how wrong he was. The Gorn aren't mindless monsters, they were afraid and were trying to protect themselves from what they saw as invaders, and it was a matter that Starfleet provoked first. He even refuses the Metrons offer to kill the Gorn and instead wants to properly mediate things over. It convinces the Metrons that there's hope for humanity before returning Kirk back to the ship safe and sound.

Given recent times, the moral honestly this a lot harder. The Gorn were motivated by fear, Kirk was motivated by vengeance, and had it kept going I could easily see things escalating into full-blown war. Ultimately though, Kirk decides to be the better man and not continue it. He's seen the destruction that the Gornc caused and likely people he knew got killed, he fought the Gorn Captian face-to-face and both of them were fighting to the death, and acted irrationally all throughout the episode. But Kirk learned and chose the diplomatic route instead. I wish that it were that simple, to realize all sides feelings and decide that there's been enough hatred, fear, and vengeance by everyone. I wish that more leaders chose to communicate and mediate things out, which si certainly more difficult than it sounds but it's still a better option than war and death. TOS is outdated in so many ways, but is also still incredibly relevant in others and I think that this is very much one of those kinds of episodes. It certainly hit me a LOT harder this time around than it did the first time.

This episode is so freakin' good. A great plot with a very well-handled message, great character moments for both our main trio and the Bridge crew, and very well-executed tension. I knew full well how this whole thing ended and I was still worried about if Kirk would make it out, that's how well this episode does in immersing you in it. Even Shatner's over-acting, which tbh wasn't even as over the top as I made it sound in the first viewing, didn't phase me. Also that Gorn suit is perfection and it needs to stay the Gorn's default look, I don't make the rules! I thoroughly enjoyed this one... and hopefully, the memory of it helps me survive the next episode, The Alternative Factor, cause if it's like I remember... yeah I'm not gonna be feeling much joy after it. But that's for then, for now? Arena is great~!

Original Rating: 4/5 Rewarch Rating: 9/10

[My TOS Reviews]

[TOS S1 Reviews]

[major-mads]

Chapter 3: Listen to Your Heart

John "Bucky" Egan x Ruth Morgan (OFC)

Series Masterlist

A/N: I'm so glad y'all are enjoying the series!! Thank you so much for reading!! Us Callum girlies sure got some...cough cough...quality content in episode four, that's for sure! Let me know what you think, and go read the other half of the story using the link below!!! this wonderful gif is by @zsuo!

Collab: On a Wing and a Prayer by @footprintsinthesxnd

Word Count: 4.7k

August 3rd, 1943

Ruthie, Since Saturday night, you have rarely left my mind. I replay the dance in my head, trying to commit every detail to memory. I love being around you, Ruth. I couldn’t imagine the night going any better than it did, and I’m so glad that you stepped outside of your comfort zone to come with me. Curt’s been giving me a hard time about embarrassing you when I sang, but I told him you loved it, even if I sound like a “dying animal” in Buck’s words.  Speaking of Buck, I’ve decided to never let him live down Saturday’s condom incident with Hope. Hugh sure isn’t letting it go, so I can’t help but join in on the fun. Despite that, I think he had a great time with her, even though he’s a total stick in the mud. I can’t believe they didn’t dance, Ruthie! Our dance was my favorite part of the night, besides how we said goodnight, of course.

I would really like to see you again soon, Ruth. It’s no secret that I’m taken with you, and I think you feel the same. We’re spending the next few weeks replacing crews and forts, so we won’t be too busy. If you’re able, please stop by and pay me a visit. At the sight of your sweet, kind smile, and the feeling of your hand in mine, my worries seem to disappear. The only worry left in my mind is that my efforts to convert you to a Yankees fan won’t be successful. I hold onto the hope that you’ll see that the Braves are terrible and that the Yankees are the better team. The Braves went 11 and 18 this past month, and my amazing team went 21 and 11. You can’t argue against stats, slugger. I hope this won’t affect your feelings toward me because then we might have a problem. I can’t wait to see you again soon. Please stay safe up there for me.  Your Hotshot, Johnny Egan

August 6th, 1943

Dear John, I am happy to hear that you and the boys are finally getting a break. When we were at the dance, I knew y’all were exhausted, but you sure didn’t show it, Major. You danced and sang like there was no tomorrow, and I had more fun than I had in a long while in your arms. Don’t worry about what Curt or Buck said. I loved your singing, even if it was slightly off-key and very loud. You might have embarrassed me, but seeing you in your element was worth it.  Every time I think back to that night, my heart begins to race and I can’t help but smile at the thought of you. I’m so very grateful that you decided to bring me along. Somehow you manage to turn me into a giddy, blushing teenager every time you cross my mind. Our kiss is a cherished memory of mine, and forgive me for being forward, but I hope that we can make more of such memories in the future.  Hope had an amazing time with Gale at the dance, and apparently, he wasn’t as much of a “stick in the mud” as you think. I’m sworn to secrecy, but know that they are very fond of each other already. When we got back to Grove the day after the dance, we told Frank what happened with…the incident, and he thought it was hilarious! He even said that he “did his job well,” whatever that means.  I would love nothing more than to come see you, but sadly, I don’t know when I’ll be able. Casualties from Italy are getting worse with the invasion of Sicily underway, and we’ve been on runs almost every day since we got back from the dance. Regardless of this, the first chance we get, Hope and I will make our way up to Thorpe Abbotts.  I can’t wait to see you again, Johnny, but the blatant slander against the Braves might damage your chances of getting another kiss. We’ll just have to agree to disagree on this because I promise you I am not going to be converted. After all, a little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, right? Don’t hurt yourself falling off your bike during your break. Yours,  Ruth Morgan P.S. I would like to meet Meatball the next time I visit the base!

Sunday, August 8th, 1943: Thorpe Abbotts AAF Base, Norwich

The mess hall buzzed with energy as Buck and Johnny sat at breakfast with Curt, who slowly moved his powdered eggs around on his plate with his fork. 

“I can’t eat this shit anymore,” he groaned, pushing the plate away from him.

John took a slow sip of his “coffee,” raising an eyebrow at the man. “Then don’t eat it.”

“Oh wow,” Biddick quipped. “What a great idea, Bucky. I’d never thought of that.”

The major smirked behind his mug and shot his friend a wink. Buck watched on in amusement, used to the two going back and forth as he and John did.

Leaning his elbows on the table, Curt leaned over the table toward John with a teasing glare. “Have you heard anything from Ruthie? Has she mentioned me? I thought I made a good first impression the other night.”

“Hmm,” Johnny hummed, pursing his lips for a moment before pointing at Biddick. “That’s Nurse Morgan to you, you dodo. I’m surprised you even remember anything from the dance with how drunk you were.”

“Oh I couldn’t forget a face like that,” he chuckled.

John’s eyes narrowed playfully as he clasped his hands together and leaned on the table. “Well it’s a good thing for me that she could forget yours, then,” he clapped back. “And you’re not the one she kissed goodnight.”

Buck rolled his eyes and continued to eat his breakfast as Egan’s loud, wide-mouthed cackle echoed through the mostly quiet mess hall. Curt then turned to Gale with a raised brow. “How about Hope-”

“Nope,” Buck interrupted calmly, raising his cup and taking a sip of his steaming coffee.

The other two men watched him as a tiny grin formed on the Major’s lips. Although he didn’t talk about it much, they could tell Buck had already developed deep feelings for the woman. 

Raising his eyebrows at Curt, John grinned. “Oh boy.”

“You’ve got it bad, Buck,” Biddick laughed, his hand landing on Gale’s shoulder roughly. “You gotten a reply to your letter yet?”

Thinking of the perfectly folded letter from Ruth he’d picked up that morning sitting in his breast pocket, John smiled down at his food, warmth spreading through him at the thought of the blonde. Buck, however, pursed his lips and shook his head at the question.

“I actually haven’t written her yet,” he sighed, running a hand down his face. “I want-”

“What!?” Johnny all but yelled, his eyes widening as coffee almost spewed from his mouth. “Why the hell not, Buck? I already sent one to Ruth and got a response.”

Gale groaned and put down his fork with a clink. “Because of Hugh.”

“Why are you so worried about Charlie?” Curtis asked, wearing a confused expression.

“Because he’s in my squadron. And he’s her brother.”

John pointed and leaned over the table at him. “Hope’s a big girl, Buck. She can make her own decisions. Screw what Hugh says.”

“But-” Gale started but was once again cut off by Bucky.

“He’s gonna hate you even more if he thinks you're leading her on. You not sending Hope a letter isn’t making anything better,” he said, a smirk beginning to tug at his lips as he continued. “On top of the condom situation.” 

John and Curt busted out into chuckles as Buck just groaned, closing his eyes tightly. “Oh, please don’t remind me.”

The ideal chatter was disturbed by the door to the mess hall swinging back on its hinges with a crash, followed by heavy footfall as Hugh all but stormed through the building like a tornado. He snatched a mug off a table and poured himself a steaming cup of black coffee before marching past the trio, staring daggers at Gale who looked up worriedly from his breakfast. 

Curt’s eyes followed the man as he walked in, muttering under his breath, “Speak of the devil.”

"Good morning to you, too, Sparky," John called out with a small wave as he walked by, only to be met with deafening silence from the other pilot. 

Hugh's harsh glare was burning a hole in the back of Gale’s skull and he thought any second now he’d come into his brain and it would be lights out. 

“You’ve really pissed him off this time, Buck, and you didn’t even get his sister into bed,” John laughed heartily, taking a long swig from his whiskey and coffee, it was most likely more whiskey than coffee but Gale humored him. 

“Will you give it a rest? I’m already getting it from Hugh without your added input,” Gale stabbed aggressively at his scrambled eggs, willing the eyes of the room to stop looking at him. 

Curt snorted beside him, waving his fork around. “Well, I’m telling you boys, if I’d have had Hope in my arms and she’d bought condoms with her, let’s just say she wouldn’t have been going back home with them.” 

That was the final straw. 

Gale slammed his fist down on the table, ignoring the way Johnny jumped in his seat, spilling his coffee over the table, and the way several chunks of his scrambled egg disappeared onto the floor.

“You say anymore slander about my girl, Biddick and I swear…”

“Your girl, Buck?” John raised his right eyebrow, an amused smirk on his lips as his mustache twitched. “She’s your girl and you haven’t even written her yet?”

Sometimes Gale wished he could rip that stupid mustache off John’s face, but he kept his cool. 

It would seem that Hugh had heard the whole commotion. His chair screeching back from the table, he stomped up between the tables once more, his glare never leaving Gale until the door slammed shut behind him. 

Buck groaned, unsure if it was in relief or at the impending doom that he was likely to suffer if this debacle continued. Without a second thought, he excused himself from the table, ignoring the calls of protest from John and Curt, and hurried after Hugh. 

“Hugh! Hugh, wait up. Please, I want to talk to you,” Gale jogged after the tall brunette whose face turned sour the instant he noticed him.

The door quickly closed behind him, and Curt looked at the major across from him with a guilty expression. “I was just joking, Bucky. I would never-”

“Ahh don’t worry about it,” John said as he sipped on his coffee. “He knows that. Like you said, Buck’s got it bad and this thing with Hugh has been eating at him since Saturday.” 

Biddick nodded to himself, his eyes lingering on the door. “Do you think Hugh’ll let it go?”

“For Buck’s sake, I do…I think he will. Doesn’t mean I won’t still rag Buck about it, though.” 

“Yeah,” Curt mumbled, staring down at his plate.

Neither man spoke for a few moments, each lost in their thoughts until Bucky wiped his mouth with his napkin and stood up. “I’ve got a letter to write. See you later, Curt.”

“I never thought I’d live to see the day,” Biddick replied. “Bucky Egan writing a love letter. Looks like Buck isn’t the only one who’s got it bad.”

John tugged his white-fleece jacket back into place and chuckled at his friend. “Don’t go all soft on me.”

“I think it suits you, John. Really,” he urged, a soft smile on his lips. “You seem happier.”

Staring at him for a moment, Bucky didn’t quite know how to respond. He felt happier. He had something to look forward to other than getting drunk at the bar or the adrenaline rush he got when the sound of .50 cal brownings echoed through his fort. John placed his cap back on his head, and with a curt nod, turned toward the door.

His tie suddenly became too tight around his throat as he pushed through the doors into the cool English air, and he quickly loosened it, letting it hang limply as he took a deep breath. In that moment, John Egan had a profound realization.

Since he came over to England in May, he had been simply going through the motions, replaying the same days over and over: Wake up…Fly forts…Bomb targets…Get drunk…Show a woman a good time…then start the cycle again the next day. For someone with such a passionate personality, he lacked the feeling that he so deeply desired. Curt could vouch for this, being the one to knock some feeling back into him a few months back on the wing of Mugwump.

But since that day in July when the nurses landed on their small base in East Anglia, feeling had slowly been creeping back into his life. He first felt it when Ruth caught him staring, and was soon captivated by her dimpled smile and capable personality. The numbness that had become so familiar to him faded into the background when she was near, her laughter shaking free his heart a little more each time it left her lips. 

He was alive with Ruth. More alive than he felt when ME-109s whizzed past him or when flack shook his fort. More alive than when he unbuttoned a woman’s dress and laid her down. More alive than the burning sensation that traveled down his throat when he downed another shot at the bar.

Over the past few weeks, the blonde nurse had somehow burrowed into his jaded exterior and broken down the walls he didn’t even know existed. 

John’s mind reeled as he silently mounted his bike and rode to the base HQ. The ride passed in a blur, and before he knew it, he was sitting at his desk, staring down at the blank sheet of paper before him. He hadn’t had a problem writing her before, so why was this any different?

How was he supposed to convey such profound feelings in a letter?

He started simply, letting his mind imagine her there beside him.

“Dear Ruth.”

Thursday, August 12, 1943: Termini Imerese, Sicily, Italy

“You ready girls!” Frank called over his shoulder, glancing as Hope and Ruth took the stretcher from the medics below them and loaded the last wounded soldier onto the rack. Hope pulled out her flight manifest and checked off the final patient to board. The young boy reached out, grasping her hand. 

“Nurse,” his voice cracking as he tried to grab her attention. He was so young, barely eighteen years old. His bright blue eyes, glossy and hazy, gazed up at her. 

“Yes, My Love,” Hope crouched down, clasping the boy's hand in one of hers while her other brushed away his brunette locks from his face. She tried to stop her eyes from drifting down his body to where only stumps of his legs remained, the burnt flesh wrapped neatly in crisp bandages. 

“You’re an angel,” he whispered and Hope smiled sweetly at him, squeezing his hand. “When I write home, I’m gonna tell my Momma ‘bout you.” 

A single tear trickled down her cheek and she leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and watching until he drifted off to sleep. His delicate, young features were no longer etched with worry, and the hard lines across his forehead softened as the morphine began to take effect. 

Hope turned, watching as Ruth comforted one of the other young men further down the plane who had managed to remove some of his bandages. 

“Hey, don’t do that, you need those,” Ruth tutted quietly, helping the Private sit up a little so she could secure fresh, white bandages around his bloody arm. The poor boy grumbled under his breath as Ruth tucked in the end. “Now leave ‘em be, okay?”

The young boy nodded, shifting uncomfortably in his cot. They weren’t the most comfortable racks, just cool metal bars lining the hammock-like beds that swayed as the C-47 rocked through the sky. 

Hope took her seat beside Ruth, who had finished trying to redress the soldier's wounds, smiling briefly at her friend, who wore the same exhausted expression she did.

“I can’t wait to get back to the Grove. I need a warm bath and my bed,” Ruth mumbled, stretching out her aching muscles that screamed against the tension in her body. 

“Oh don’t say that, Rue. We’ve still got to drop these poor boys off at the hospital in Mateur.” Ruth just groaned in response. 

The dance with the boys had been their last outing in a while. It was the last time Hope hadn’t felt completely exhausted. She’d been relaxed, able to let go, and safe in Gale’s arms. 

This trip had been hard. The plane was at full capacity and when they arrived on the airfield at Termini Imerese, Sicily, they were instantly thrown into action. The girls disappeared into the makeshift hospitals that lined the airfield, the white tents flapping in the harsh wind that did little to cool the heat from the scorching midday sun. 

Hope and Ruth conferred with the surgeons, assessing and stabilizing patients that were safe to fly, meaning that many of the young men with head injuries or who had suffered significant blood loss would be unable to fly due to the unpressurized aircraft cabins. Many of the men didn’t have emergency medical tags, so the girls had to make their own assessments for many of the patients. 

The thrumming roar of the C-47’s engine erupting to life always brought a great sense of comfort to Hope, along with an impending sense of fear in unison. This job, while rejuvenating her youth through the exhilarating flights and the lives they saved, aged her with each passing moment spent in the air, because after every successful landing she was left with the feeling that although they had saved lives, they couldn’t save them all. This weighed heavily on both of the women.

Frank and his fellow pilot chatted hastily in the cockpit, their muffled voices cracking through over the radio. As soon as the plane leveled out Hope and Ruth stood, each taking a side of the plane and beginning the checkups on their patients, recording their temperature, pulse, and respiration as well as checking there was no strike through of blood from their dressings. The girls worked quickly, only conferring on their patients' conditions. 

It always amazed Hope how quickly their work changed them, on the flight over Ruth had been once again telling her about the letter she’d received from John. Hope feared she could probably quote Ruth’s letter herself by now, but she never complained, pleased that Ruth was finally coming out of herself. 

Hope had her own letter from Gale tucked into her top overall pocket, over her heart. His words burned into her flesh and she felt as though he was right there beside her all along. 

Having dropped off the soldiers at the large US hospital in Mateur, Tunisia, the C-47 headed home. The mood was somber as the large metal bird rattled its way across Europe towards England. 

Ruth’s eyes had closed about half an hour before, and Hope didn’t have the heart to wake her up. She looked so peaceful, the wrinkles that normally appeared when she smiled were smoothed away, and her blonde locks fell softly from where she had so lovingly pinned them that very morning. 

Hope took Gale’s letter out of her pocket, smoothing out the creases that had poked around the edge of the page. Words of affirmation sprung out at her and a smile was instantly cemented to her lips as she relieved the last moments with him. 

The flight home always seemed quicker, and soon ‘The Angel of Death’ was touching down on the runway. Hope helped a rather sleepy Ruth off the plane and waved goodnight to Frank, who chuckled in amusement at the blonde’s incoherent murmurs, some of them sounding an awful lot like the name of her beloved major.

 “Goodnight Ladies.” 

“Come on, Rue. Let’s get you home,” Hope wrapped her arm around her sleepy friend, leading the way to the Nissan huts they were billeted in. 

Some of the other nurses were still stationed in Africa and so they currently had the hut to themselves. Hope lay Ruth down on the bed, smiling as she snuggled closer into the pillow.

So much for a warm bath…

Hope would rag her about it later, but she couldn’t deny that the stress of the day was getting to her too, but something restless kept her from falling into her own bed. Instead, Hope sat at the small desk in the corner, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. She pulled Gale’s crumpled letter from her pocket, smoothed it flat onto the desk, and began writing her reply.

The following day, the girls finally had a day off, and as much as they wanted to make the trip up to Thorpe Abbotts, the nurses were so exhausted that they barely got out of bed. 

“What time is it?” Ruth groaned, turning onto her side to hide from the bright sun peeking through the curtains. 

Getting no response, she cracked her eyes open, and a smile tugged at her lips at the sight before her. In the corner of the room, Hope’s cheek lay smushed against the desktop, her messy black hair splayed around her as she slept soundly. The corner of a paper could just barely be seen under her hair, and Ruth immediately knew what she’d fallen asleep doing.

Sighing softly, she pulled back her covers and padded over to Hope, wincing at the sting of her feet against the cold floors. “Hope,” Ruth whispered, rubbing the woman’s shoulder gently. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”

She awoke slowly, allowing the blonde to sit her up off the desk. “Five more minutes,” Hope mumbled.

Ruth chuckled, the sound echoing through the silent hut. Luckily, Hope’s bed was directly beside the desk, so the smaller woman didn’t have to maneuver her around too much to get her onto the mattress. 

Gently laying her extra blanket over her best friend, Ruth smiled down at her. “There you go. Snug as a bug.”

She then walked over to her bed and snuggled under the covers again, but not before closing their blackout curtains, causing darkness to envelop the room once again. The warmth drew her back into her peaceful slumber, her eyes fluttering closed as her mind repeated Johnny’s latest letter:

Sunday, August 8th, 1943

Dear Ruth, I can’t wait to see you again. I know I said that in my last letter, but I’ve recently discovered that absence actually does make the heart grow fonder. I find myself waiting in anticipation for your letters the moment I send off my own, and I long to see you…to have you here next to me. Hopefully, your missions will ease soon and you’ll finally get a break, too. I understand how tiring it can be to fly day after day, and that’s without even having to take care of patients. Please take care of yourself, alright? As much as I would love to see you, please rest if you get the chance. Don’t worry about me. We’ll see each other soon enough. Today Buck finally wrote Hope back. I tried to tell him how stupid it was to wait, but he was adamant about getting Hugh’s approval. He’s a bigger man than I am, Ruth. Regardless of this, we can never let him live the incident down…ever. In response to your threat to withhold your affection from me, I say bring it on. Like I said before, you can’t argue with facts. The Yankees are the better team, and I’m going to convince you of that, so I cannot agree to disagree. I’m too stubborn to let you win, and if I’m being honest, I don’t know if you’ll be able to resist my charming personality…or the mustache. I know you love the mustache, Ruth. If you decide to follow through on your threat, I’ll shave it off. Just for you. Don’t stand between a man and kisses from his girl. It doesn’t end well for anyone. But it’s like you said, a little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, right? Please be safe, Ruthie, and know I am thinking of you. Yours, John Egan

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Hope! Ruth! You alive in there?” a voice hollered through the hut’s door, rousing Ruth for the second time that morning. She opened her mouth to reply, but Hope beat her to it. 

“Go away, Frank!” she groaned, covering her ears with her pillow.

“It’s almost noon,” the man chuckled. “I know you’re tired but you both need to get up. We’ve got stuff to do.”

Sitting up abruptly, Ruth grabbed her watch off her small side table, her eyes widening when she read 11:43 am. She looked over to Hope who was also staring at her watch in utter disbelief.

“I haven’t slept in this much since I was a teenager,” Hope muttered under her breath before turning to Ruth, almost breaking into a fit of laughter at the blonde’s wonky curls from the day before. “We look terrible.”

Frank pounded his fist against the door, yelling, “Get up!”

“WE ARE!!” They both hollered back, unable to keep the frustration from lacing their voices.

Throwing off her covers, Hope stood to her feet and marched over to the door, swinging it open. Ruth clamored quickly out of bed to follow her, stopping right behind her shoulder as they glared at Frank. His eyes scanned the women before him, and a grimace appeared on his face at their ragged appearances. 

“Okay,” he started, raising his hands in surrender. “Go back to sleep. You look like shit, and I’d rather do things on the plane by myself than deal with your grumpy attitudes.”

They narrowed their eyes at him. “Nope. We’re awake now,” Hope retorted, smiling sweetly at him.

Sighing, Frank stepped back from the door with a barely concealed smirk. “Meet me at the hardstand.”

As Hope shut the door, Ruth flopped back on her bed, her eyes following Hope’s figure walking across the room to the desk in the corner. “How’s Gale?” she asked, propping her head up with her hand.

Hope began to neatly fold up the letter, smiling softly as she talked over her shoulder. “He’s good. Said he didn’t write because of Hugh causing problems, but he’s got his blessing now.” She turned toward Ruth with dusty pink cheeks, giggling to herself. “He even signed his last letter with ‘your Gale.’”

“Hope!” Ruth squealed, sitting up and covering her mouth with her hands. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve someone like Gale, and I’m sure Hugh sees how much he adores you.”

Hope looked down at the letter in her hands, her heart swelling at the thought of the man. “He’s amazing,” she whispered as her eyes traced over his name on the paper. After a few moments, she shook her head, seemingly clearing her thoughts, and raised an eyebrow at Ruth. “How’s John?”

It was now Ruth’s turn to blush, the tips of her ears heating up at the mention of the major. “Great…amazing…wonderful. I feel like I’ve known him so much longer than a few weeks, Hope. You know how I can get sometimes, but when I’m with him, I don’t feel nearly as anxious. And when he kissed me…I wished it could’ve lasted forever. I can’t wait to see him again.”

Sighing softly, Hope plopped down onto her bed. “Look at us, Rue. We’re like a bunch of lovesick teenagers.”

“Yeah, we are,” Ruth giggled, her mind replaying her and John’s laughter, soft touches, and tender looks from the dance. The way he held her face so delicately, how his lips-

“Come on,” Hope called, her mattress squeaking as she got up, breaking Ruth from her thoughts. “Let’s get ready so we can go annoy Frank.”

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[ludi-cerealia]

PAC- Your next/first photo with your FS

A fun little PAC ive been meaning to do for a while. Take a deep breath and go for the pile you're drawn to the most! Top piles are 1 and 2, and bottom piles are 3 and 4 respectively.

Pile 1

Cards 5th house (passion, play, children, confidence & creativity), Ace of Wands, Deceit

Your first/next photo with your future spouse may be taken to commemorate a prank of some sort, done for good fun. I get the feeling that it was a cheeky incident set-up by friends or a community shared between the two of you for you to get out of your comfort zone. You may be feeling sheepish or flustered when this photo is taken, and subconsciously cling onto your future spouse for support very briefly; so quick that neither of you think much of it but your future spouse will feel a certain spark at that brush of contact. Everyone else will be just as oblivious, having way too much fun in the moment. Think going into a haunted house as a group, and you grab onto someone/something when you're spooked; or while crossing a drawbridge and needing someone's hand to hold because you're afraid of falling. Apply to whatever resonates, but I'm getting carnival/theme park vibes very strongly. A specific message, but the group around you may all be petite in size but your future spouse stands out like a sore thumb, scrawny, wiry, and tall. Both of you are quiet, but your spouse is strong and silent while you're meek and shy.

Pile 2

Cards: Neptune (Dream and transcend), King of Swords, Cycle

Immediately I got the message that your first photo of your future spouse was in a psychic reading, particularly one where the reader channeled their appearance into a doodle. You may know them already as a crush or some will-they-won't-they type scenario that you toy with now and then but are too afraid of committing yourself to. Your first photo with them is not exactly one where the two of you are together, but one of you taking a photo of them at the height of their achievements. They may be presenting a speech or participating in some debate/forum that perfectly displays their sharp and inquisitive mind that has yet to be dulled with pride. This footage is not something you share with others, but not in a creepy-stalkerish way. This was your future spouse's moment and everyone was watching, but none really are aware of how much you cherish it. One of those instances where your future spouse unearths it years later into union to tease you about your affection for them.

Pile 3

Cards: Taurus (trust, patience, & sensuality), King of Wands, Bond

You may have been drawn to Pile 2 as well, because I'm getting a similar storyline and your cards kept landing on P2 as I was shuffling them. However, instead of an intellectual setting, I'm getting creative/theatrical/informal vibes. Like P2, your first/next photo with your future spouse will see them at the centre of attention, the life of the party; perhaps you two are part of a creative passion project, and this takes place during downtime where everyone is bonding by the water cooler. Your future spouse is a charm at directing the flow of the conversation and really navigating the mood of the room. For some of you they are the party leader themselves and are facilitating the icebreaking and breaking-in of newbies, and this video was taken for posterity. At this point neither of you are familiar with the other, and just so happen to be caught in the same frame.

Pile 4

Cards : Conjunction (union, merging, coming together) , Four of Swords, Time

This photo may be taken some time after you and your future spouse enter a relationship, you both have been platonically acquainted then later caught romantic feelings for the other. There were growing pains in this relationship for sure, I heard because of the distance between you two; which would explain the time taken to mentally prepare yourselves to ground this long-distance (for some of you, virtual) relationship into reality. There may have been nerves that bordered on cold feet leading up to this final union, which you both sheepishly confessed were unneccesary, but opening up about it did bring you two closer together. (commitment issues vibes). You may have be staying at each other's family homes during this visit, and both of you collapsed on the couch exhausted from the travel. Unbeknownst to both of you, a family member (I heard younger sibling) took a photo of you both asleep cuddling on the couch for the family group chat.

I hope you enjoyed this PAC! I’d really love to hear how it resonates for you. Any and all feedback is welcome. If you liked my work, do consider tipping me .

[lumiinix]

hi, how are you doing? hope you’re doing well! i have a request :: tsukki , suna and ushijima with a rather energetic s/o (basically their polar opposite, kind of?) but when they watch their s/o play their sport/martial art, their s/o is suddenly quiet and focused. it can be any sport or martial art, although i would prefer if it’s Kyūdō (it doesn’t have to be Kyūdō though)

gn!reader , and you can write it in any form (oneshots, headcanons or anything else is fine! write whatever you’re comfortable with!)

also please take your time on doing this request, i dont mind waiting <3 thank you!

Haikyuu boys with a s/o that only get serious in sports.

Pairing(s): Tsukishima, Suna, Ushijima x gn!reader (separate)

Warning(s): none.

A/N: HELLO NONNY, I’m doing great thx for asking! And I love the request you choose, it’s actually one of my favorite thing to write! So I hope you enjoy <3

Tsukishima

Sorry but, how did you two even got together again?

Like he knows you two were childhood friends but like…you know what I mean?

But somehow, you two are now dating, and although everyone around you is kinda weird out, people that are more closer to you guys will admit that your relationship with eachother is a good one and that he cares for you very much.

In terms of sport, he definitely know you do Kyudo and have came to see your tournaments often even though he said no when you asked him. He is secretly your number one supporter, and only Yamaguchi know this.

And no matter how much he has seen it, he’s always at awe at how different you are when you’re in a match and tbh, he’s kinda scared of you but he’ll never admit it, ever.

He does like it when your opponents who had underestimated you before because of your cheery nature before suddenly realize you screwed they are after seeing you changed drastically. Guy will smirks everytime that happens.

Suna

He loves your energetic and bubbly nature, to him you’re a baby that he needs to protect and spoil.

So when he heard that you do Kyudo, his first immediate thought is that you’re gonna get hurt, but he doesn’t show you that bc he doesn’t want you to think he thinks you’re weak.

So imagine his total shock when he went to a match that you invited him to, only to see his bubbly s/o turns into a cold and serious person as they absolutely demolish their opponent. And then turn back into a sweet and cheery person when they saw him.

God is he shocked and impressed. Maybe even turned on.

Now he records your matches everytime he went to them and threatens the Miya twin with them, saying that if they don’t behave, he’ll call you to personally deal with them.

Ushijma

Ushijima and you contrast eachother so much, but he doesn’t mind that. But he defines think of you as a more vulnerable person and that he has to protect.

That’s until the incident happens. Basically he and Tendou saw you got cornered by some bullies but before he and Tendou had a chance to jump in, you took matters into your own hand.

That day, Ushijma sees a new side to you as you turn serious and even scary as you fend of the bullies with your Kyudo skills, he’s so shock that he didn’t even realize the bullies have ran away and you had gone up to him asking him if he’s ok because he’s been zoning out with your bubbly personality again.

After that, Tendou dubbed you two the power couple. Ushijma also went to see your matches and is very impressed by your skill and how serious your attitude are to kyudo, it’s a similarity between you two that he adores!

He also stops seeing you as vulnerable after that, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t step in when you’re in trouble.

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

[nyrobnua8983]

SCP staff reaction to you [1/2]

Female Gender Reader, She/Her

A girl, of average height, walked into a fairly warm room through large iron-gray doors, which, as always, were guarded by 4–6 security personnel for the safety of the newly built zone with 8 floors, located deep in a forest and far from any village or something similar. Y/N was wearing only a small robe with the SCP Foundation emblem, a black shirt, and light jeans. A colorful ribbon adorned her neck, holding an old barcode with information about her and her photo. As she quickly stepped into the cafeteria, almost everyone turned to look at her. And so her story began...

Dr. Clef

Perhaps he was the first to notice you or pay attention, but he certainly won't be the first to approach you and get to know you better. Initially, he will observe you, your behavior, your social interactions, and your daily habits. Clef had already heard about the incident at the zone where you worked, so he will approach and introduce himself to you, God willing, 2–3 weeks after you arrive here. Here's how it will happen:During lunch, you, as usual, sat at a separate and empty table to eat without unnecessary conversation and not disturb anyone, be it with their work or just your presence. But Clef thought otherwise and invited you to join a table with Kondraki, Iceberg, Brother, and a few others. Since his reputation wasn't the best in this place, you started to decline, but over time, you agreed and joined them.

*Conclusion*: "She's too timid! Like a little bear cornered and told she's about to be killed. I even like it. We can scare her well with Bright and see how she reacts."

Dr. Kondraki

Since your old pass didn’t work in the new zone and you couldn't open doors or anything like that with it, you were sent to Dr. Kondraki to get a new one.When you entered his office, you immediately noticed the various butterflies that were initially flying around the guy at the table but then flew up to you and began to hover around, studying you."Alright, let's do this quickly, and then we can get back to our business.""Uh-huh."Sitting down on one of the chairs and making a serious face, Kondraki took all the necessary photos, and finally, Y/N received a new pass.

*Conclusion*: "She's just a regular girl. Maybe we'll start talking, but it's unlikely since she's too skittish."

Dr. Glass

Your acquaintance happened when you first entered the cafeteria for Foundation staff, where all the scientists were sitting at that time. Your first task was to give Dr. Glass your character profile and a psychological report from your previous zone. It seemed simple, but Y/N couldn’t figure out where he was among everyone! A small panic ran through your body, but you had to keep it together. Quickly scanning the room, you still didn’t know who you were looking for, so you started praying and rereading the documents in your hands, waiting for a miracle.And then it happened! Dr. Glass approached you."As I understand it, you’re Y/N. I’m Dr. Glass, nice to meet you! According to the plan, you need to give me some documents," said the blond guy quite kindly and calmly, which made you smile involuntarily as you silently handed him everything he asked for."It’s clear what we’ll need to work on, but we’ll manage, won’t we, Y/N?"You awkwardly nodded in agreement and started listening to what he had to say.

*Conclusion*: "Well, Y/N is a sweet girl, but she was too frightened and didn’t speak when I approached her. Maybe it’s the result of the incident at zone XXX?"

Dr. Bright

Remember how Clef mentioned he might scare you along with Bright? I’m sorry to say, that thought will become a reality and be the reason for your frequent visits to the medical wing for tranquilizers. In his defense, Bright will say there’s no rule against "scaring or joking around with Dr. Y/N." But don’t worry, Dr. Glass will calm you down, and Dr. Gears, if possible, will protect you from any prank and might even punish Bright. By the way, regarding the rules... they might add something concerning you, but that’s not for sure.Your introduction, as one might expect, didn’t go smoothly. Bright intended to splash Dr. Kondraki with water, but you were the first to walk through the door, holding completed documents in your hands. All the work you had put in went down the drain, and on top of that, you had to go change into new clothes. To your surprise, you didn’t have any extra lab coats yet! They just hadn’t issued you a spare one yet, so you walked around without it and got a minor reprimand and a ruined mood for the rest of the day.

*Conclusion*: "I can’t help but laugh at her reactions to my jokes! You should’ve seen her teary eyes when a bucket of cold water was dumped on her."

Dr. Gears

A kind uncle who saves you from Bright and Clef's "funny and not-so-funny" jokes, Gears can warn you in advance of their plans if he finds out, or after the prank, he’ll help you recover or stand up if he’s nearby. If not, then you’re [CENSORED].The most he can do is talk to them or try to punish them if possible.Even if he doesn’t show his concern or sympathy for you, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it deep inside. He’s really fed up with those two and their stupid and ridiculous ideas, but unfortunately, there’s nothing he can do about it.

*Conclusion*: "I always save her and help her avoid pranks in advance, and if I’m not around, I talk to Bright later, and we quickly resolve the issue."

[heongiu]

Kim Goo x Reader

"More than a secret friend ♥︎"

Warnings: NSFW, sexual content, anything else that isn't meant to be said out loud ;)

(A/N: first of all thankyou for the Goo requests! Second, It's my first time actually writing a whole ass smut fic so if there's some parts that might need to be corrected please do tell me 😭 I know fs this fic is shit- anyways hope you like it... 🥹)

“Hey!! So we meet again Y/N!!~” Goo spoke to you, waving at you whilst he sat down a chair. “ah hello" you spoke, you sounded down, well since you were tired from all these errands your voice would automatically sound gloomy.

“Oh cmon! Why are you all down?~" Goo taunted

"Ah it's.. Nothing" you replied, eyes examining the area around the blonde.

Looking around the place, for a second this made you remember the first time you had met him.

Which obviously, didn't go as planned.

~~~~~~

“Jeez.. I’m glad I walked away from that maniac..” You stood at the top floor of the 4th affiliate’s building, you walked around to find Samuel’s room where you had to meet someone, and search for something important of course.

“Why is it so dark here? Is the power out?” You looked around for a while. “Phew this is gonna take me a while" you wanted to get out of the room but suddenly an object tripped you, and you fell into a chair. Well it felt weird,

and.. it was a man.

“AHH WHO IS IT?!” You got up immediately. The power returned and the lights were on, finally you could see his face, he had a smug grin on his face, blonde hair, he had a blue Gucci suit on, with a yellow tie, all which seemed to compliment his complexion. You would've thought he was some celebrity if he didn't act like an idiot quite literally.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t see you sitting on the chair-“ you apologised to the man

“Oh oh~ well, I’ll forgive you for that I suppose” he laughed though from his expression he did seem to have enjoyed that. “I suppose you are a VVIP as well?” He further questioned. “Yeah.. I just got here to see how the 4th affiliate is working but, it seemed something had happened a day or two ago”

“Whats your name? I never heard about you from anyone” he asked

“its y/n l/n" You replied “well you’ve got a pretty name huh?~” he remarked to which you simply smiled

“My name is Kim Jongoo, Perhaps you’ve heard of me before?” He asked,

intrigued by you “Yes, I know of you sir” “sir?! Don’t call me that honey, you can just call me Goo~” something about his honeyed words was so mysterious, he just seemed like there was so much more to him.

Slowly you were getting tired from standing too long, you wanted to sit down but to your demise there was no other chair around. “You looking for something to sit on?” He asked

“perhaps”

"well here it is” he teased you signalling to his lap. the blonde seemed proud of his joke, you felt more embarassed and guilty than ever “I suppose I’ve found what I was looking for, I’ll leave soon-“

"Oh? well I thought I had some company but it seems you’re busy as well” Goo said with a noticeable frown on his face.

“Well then, bye, see you agai-" you spoke, hurrying out of the room. “wait!!!” The blonde gave you his business card.

“since we’re friends now, call me anytime you feel like you’d want to sit on me~ haha!”

he laughed at his lame joke again, you murmured a few curses under your breath, walking away from the place. You could still hear him yell from the background “dont forget me honey!!” He yelled at you.

“What a strange man.."

~~~~~~

Well to be honest after the incident you had only met him 3 times but not really at the 4th affiliate, he just seemed to be everywhere you were.

----

"Y/N?!! ARE YOU LISTENING?" He yelled at your face as you immediately unfocused your gaze, you realized you had zoned out for a long period.

"Sorry.. I zoned out a bit" you rubbed the back of your neck, as you stood there uncomfortable and in an awkward pose.

"You sure do look uncomfortable, something wrong?" He asked, slightly tilting his shades to have a better look at you. "Aah not really, why do you care?"

He laughed "why shouldn't I? You're my secret friend~"

"when did I agree to-"

"Anyway so I was telling you-"

And you tripped again on him. But he was quick enough to catch you.

"Hey, you seem to have quite a thing for my lap or some?" He cackled.

You did get a lot of second hand embarassment from this

But.. Why won't he let you go?

"Um.. Are you gonna let me go?" You asked, face red from embarassment.

"Do you want to be?" He asked, this time it was a joke or anything, his tone was kind of, serious.

Your voice won't come out.

"Fuck fuck!! Whats happening to me?!? Y/N SNAP OUT OF IT YOU ARE JUST HERE ON AN ERRAND, ahhh I'm getting distracted.. Fuck"

You thought to yourself. You thought for a second, his features from up close were indeed beautiful, this man was a heavenly creation of God himself, but God did miss out on his brains.

"Ah ah, caught you staring~"

"Ah n-no I wasn't-"

He brought his face close to you, examining your already embarassed expression and now your face had just turned 50 shades of red.

"You sure look cute when you blush" he laughed, flicking off some locks that laid in front of your face.

"I-"

Words wouldn't come out your mouth.

"Shh you don't need to speak" He grabbed your body to shift you even more closer to him, he kissed you, his light fingers traveling up and down your body. Your hands rested upon his chest.

Oh how his kiss was just as sweet as his words. You wished he didn't pull away so soon.

"Whaa~ You want me to kiss you more?~" he teased, but from your expression the answer was so evident.

"You sure do seem to enjoy it huh?~"

Yes, yes you did, and a lot. And honestly, who wouldn't? Definitely not you

You had come here to get some work done, but now that things have turned out this way, you really don't regret it. This is much fun isn't it?

He stared into your irises, examining ever feature you've got to show, slowly his hands began to undress you, piece by piece, inch by inch.

"Doesn't this feel exciting?~"

He asked you, once again. You responded with a soft 'yes' as he rewarded you with humble kisses on your neck, fingers fondling with your breasts gently.

His hands grabbed and massaged every part he could possibly see, which was, well untouched by him. He kept undressing you until you were entirely bare.

"Oh look at you princess, you look like you were made for me~"

You were indeed made for him, melting into his soft and firm touches like a lit candle's wax. The way he caressed every part of you like you were a sculpture. He was really into it.

He kept kissing you passionately, your tongues colliding with eachother. His hand slowly but smoothly slipped under your skirt, into your panties, and to your slick, throbbing cunt. He was sure to very slowly massage your clit with one of his fingers. His member rubbed against your bare ass, making you whimper.

Goo was a flirty man, the way he touched your body like it was his last day, but he took his sweet time enjoying you. He really fucking loved it

His slow, but teasing movements made you let out all your suppressed slutty moans. All which you wish nobody else would hear.

"Since you're being such a good girl, let's reward you mhm~?

He took off his pants, revealing his hard cock.

He picked you up and laid you down on the table nearby, your legs wrapped around his torso as he slid inside you without giving you a second to adjust, making you moan out loud.

"F-fuck.. Ngh it's too big.." You felt weak, so weak in front of his cock. It could undoubtedly obliterate your insides. And just the thought of it made you throb even harder than before.

"Shhh I know you can take it"

He caressed your forehead gently, slowly thrusting into your pussy. Now you could really make out he was a very experienced man.

You held an intense eye contact with the blonde. he started to thrust into you faster, you struggled to take him in at this point, but to him your struggle was quite an entertainment.

"Aww~ Can't take me?"

Fuck you didn't want to admit it, but you were downright and completely dominated by him. You were a woman who naturally didn't like submitting to a man, being under his rule, giving in into their control. You hated it, but the fact that you were letting a man you only met for a few days fuck the daylights out of you was improbable.

~~

Goo grinned at you, your poor attempt to take him in. This sight of you might had just become his favourite.

"Fuck..fuck you look so goddam pretty when you're struggling like that"

He placed your legs on his shoulder, adjusting himself even deeper inside of you, he brought himself even closer to you, hitting your sweet spot even harder, grinding himself deep inside of you.

"Fuck do you like that? Yeah?"

You moaned loudly, throwing your head back at the speed of his gruesome thrusts. Your brain was completely lost in the pleasure of this building orgasm.

"Ah..f..fuck b-bouta cum" you whimpered, he kissed your collarbone, gently sucking on your breasts, your supple nipples, his tongue moving around in circular motions, you felt so dizzy and so sensitive.

"Aha? Yeah? cum on my cock princess, come on you can do it"

His hips moved even faster than before, the table started making a creaking sound, added to this was the sound of your skin slapping and the wet noises your pussy made. The room ringed with such lewd noises, but this all never really mattered, you wanted to cum.

"So close hah.."

Fuck, the fact he moaned pretty, his moans were like music, not all men moan like this.

And then you came, legs trembling in the extreme pleasure. You tried to muffle your moans with your hands but still they were loud enough for everyone to hear.

And it didn't take him long to cum too, hot thick cum filling your insides to the brim, he held you in his arms, kissing you, your neck, your ears, Everything.

So it was all over... Or was it?-

"Ah Ah Princess, I'm not done with you yet~"

~~~~~~~

(OMG I was so nervous writing this I hope you guys enjoyed it even though it's half baked, reblogs and likes are appreciated, thankyou so much <33 ~ Kira)

[coimbrabertone]

Motorsports Christmas: An After-Action Report.

May 26th, 2024 was one of the biggest days in motorsports, and it was freaking exhausting in the best ways possible.

So, everybody knows that the Monaco Grand Prix and the Indianapolis 500 are on the same day, well, the Charlotte 600 is on that day too, making for the triple. This year, the Catalan Motorcycle Grand Prix also fell on that weekend, so there was a quadruple of racing, and I was ready to watch it all.

I woke up around 5:30am - the joys of the Mountain Time zone - in time to watch MotoGP at 6am. Aleix Espargaro took pole on the factory Aprilia and Raul Fernandez on the Trackhouse Aprilia satellite bike lined up third, but it was Pecco Bagnaia in second that turned into the protagonist of the race. Bagnaia held off the likes of Jorge Martin, Marc Marquez, and Aleix Espargaro behind to take a calculated victory.

I was happy for Bagnaia, however, with Jorge Martin in second having a dominant championship lead, it did sort of feel like a pyrrhic victory. Bagnaia gives this controlled, smart victory ride but it doesn't really matter since he only scored five more points over his main championship rival. Add in the fact that Marc Marquez, who is toe-to-toe with Bagnaia in the fight for second, finished third. This means that Bagnaia leaves the Catalan Grand Prix 39 points behind Martin and just 2 ahead of Marquez.

That's not even the worst part.

Enea Bastianini - the rider I support - kinda had a meltdown this race. First, he starts eleventh, loses places off the start, and then got pushed off at turn one by Alex Marquez. Enea cuts the track to rejoin, receives a long lap penalty, refuses to serve it. He then gets gets pushed off again in a second attempt. Enea receives a double long-lap penalty for failing to serve the penalty, serves one but not the other, and then gets a thirty second penalty post race.

In his interviews, he called it a protest against unfair stewarding decisions.

On track, it led to him finishing eighteenth and out of the points.

This is particularly devastating as Jorge Martin and Marc Marquez - the guys in second and third - are fighting to take his seat for 2025. I already did a blogpost about this a few weeks ago and I have a lot to get to today, so I'll keep this brief, but yesterday was not a good day for Enea Bastianini.

The Monaco Grand Prix also happened. Swiftly moving on...

Joking. I'm joking. Monaco was actually pretty good this year. The Ferraris and McLarens qualified 1-3 and 2-4, respectively, so we got a fight between them rather than Red Bull dominance. Unfortunately, they decided to fight by going as slow as possible to prevent anyone else from pitting once they all got a free change of tyres under red following a scary first lap incident between Sergio Perez and the two Haas cars.

Still, it was a fight between Ferrari and McLaren and the top seven all put a lap on eighth place. That was as vintage F1 as you could get. It was also at vintage speeds with them running around four seconds off the pace, but hey, strategy shenanigans are fun.

Charles Leclerc won and proceeded to drop the Monegasque flag in front of the Prince of Monaco, twice. That is objectively funny and probably my favorite F1 moment of the weekend.

So, the Indianapolis 500.

Normally it would start shortly after Monaco, however, a rain front in Indianapolis delayed the 500 into the afternoon. This would wreck Kyle Larson's attempt to do the full 1100 mile double at Indy and Charlotte - more on that later - but it did actually lead to some great moments for me personally. Spending the hours in discords with other motorsports fans talking about when the rain might stop, when the track might dry out, when the race should start, whether Larson would stay or go...it all gave a very wholesome, community feel that I really enjoyed.

Then the race itself. It was amazing.

The clouds cleared, we got a partly cloudy afternoon with filled grandstands and a full 500-mile race around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. We got a little bit of everything. Crashes (where thankfully nobody was hurt), engine failures, competing fuel strategies, sixteen different leaders - that's half the field! - and a last lap, penultimate corner pass for the win.

Now, I'm an Arrow McLaren fan. Alexander Rossi was a driver who I followed in F1 because I was excited at the prospect of seeing the first American driver in a decade. Rossi's F1 hopes with Marussia didn't work out, but he went on to Indycar and won the Indy 500 in his first attempt. Between the peak Andretti years where he had the knife between his teeth bringing the fight to the likes of Josef Newgarden and Scott Dixon, to now, where he's in that beautiful #7 white and orange McLaren, bringing the fight to the likes of...Josef Newgarden and Scott Dixon.

Then there's Pato O'Ward, the exciting, young, charismatic Mexican charger in the #5, driving an awesome orange and black car. It's perfect, he and Rossi have night and day cars, and they were slingshot passing each other in the Indianapolis 500 to save fuel. That was the happiest I was during the race, watching my two favorite Indycar drivers in my favorite team leading 1-2.

Then Alexander Rossi made his final pitstop for fuel.

They were racing to keep track position, so they fueled him just a bit short, and I fear that ultimately decided the course of the race.

Josef Newgarden cycled out in front at the end of the fuel cycle, Alexander Rossi attacked first, got in front, but immediately got overtaken again as he had to save a bit of fuel. Rossi would try again, but Newgarden would nose ahead, as would Pato O'Ward.

Pato O'Ward was a student of the Indy 500, so he knew he had to make the pass as late as possible to ensure that Josef Newgarden wouldn't be able to respond. Pato would lift in turn one on a number of final laps to stay second and keep the draft, before finally making the attack in turn one on the final lap...only for Josef Newgarden to come back at him in turn three.

There was nothing Pato could've done at that point.

Josef made the pass in turn three, got a good exit off turn four, and Pato didn't get enough of a draft to the finish line in order to stop him. Pato was rightfully devastated, Rossi ended up in fourth, behind the lead two in addition to third placed Scott Dixon, as a result of his fuel strategy.

It was utterly devastating.

But that's motorsport. The days that you lose are what make the days that you win more meaningful. The Indianapolis 500 happened in its entirety despite all the rain and the worries. Not only that, but NBC is saying that the preliminary ratings look to be over 5 million viewers for the race. A last lap pass, a back-to-back winner, and a ratings bump over last year. As much as I wish Pato or Rossi could've won that race, I've spent the last day making my peace with it. For now, I'll just be happy that Indycar as a sport snatched a victory from the jaws of defeat.

Then there was the Coke 600 at Charlotte.

I tuned in late thanks to the late Indianapolis 500, and I was pretty emotionally drained at this point, but a charge from Brad Keselowski at the end of the second stage got me motivated again. Brad Keselowski, the owner-driver of the #6 for the team I support in NASCAR - Roush Fenway Keselowski Racing, also known as RFK Racing - pushed his way up the field. He moved into second, and he was hunting down the leader, Christopher Bell.

I began to believe that, after a 1,113-day winless streak, Brad Keselowski would win two races in three weeks.

Unfortunately, as soon as he caught up to the back of Bell, it started raining.

To add insult to injury, Kyle Larson, who had run the Indianapolis 500 earlier that day and completed all 500 miles, finishing 18th after a pitlane speeding penalty, had just arrived at Charlotte. He was about to take over the #5 from replacement driver Justin Allgaier, only he never got the chance.

At this point, I was emotionally drained after three and a half races, so at around 8:45pm, I fully embraced my grandmother era and went to bed.

That wound up being the right decision, because despite waiting out the rain and attempting to dry the track, NASCAR would end up calling the race anyway when they hit the end of Fox's TV window. Christopher Bell would win the race, Brad Keselowski would have to settle for second.

I quite literally missed nothing by going to bed when I did.

So, I sorta got the result I wanted at Catalunya, a full-on positive result at Monaco, and narrowly had my picks finish second at both Indianapolis and Charlotte.

In the grand scheme of things, that's not a bad Motorsports Christmas.

And on June 14th and 15th, we have Motorsports New Years with the 24 Hours of Le Mans, so the Racing Holidays aren't quite over.

[accio-victuuri]

The story of Bojunyixiao’s WEIBO NIGHT 2022/2023 📝

this is my attempt to archive in one post what happened in this event. from days before the actual show and most of the rumos/hearsays going around. also moments from both the boys as individuals during the show and of course, everyone’s favorite, cpn moments. it’s the long awaited same-event from them so it’s only right that it be documented well. i will not be talking about the red carpet / livestream drama so this post remains positive.

if you only want candies please skip to part V which is the final section of this post. there are also minor ones on part ii ‼️

I. The Anticipation / Announcements

As soon as the “winners” were announced for the user recommendation portion on 3/20, people were already celebrating that we will have a same-stage and same event incident. This is because, both XZ & WYB were awarded in the top 3 as popular personalities on Weibo. Also Yibo won in all categories where his works were nominated movie/drama/variety show/song. At this time there was really no question that GG is gonna attend because his votes for KING/ Oath of Love were astronomical but Yibo on other hand had melons related to him saying he would not be attending. XFXs were hard at work trying to win tickets to Weibo night but MTJJs weren’t because there was really no confirmation or even leaked schedule for 3/25. BXGs were also hard at work trying to get tickets for fan-sites to get in.

It’s been a long running rumor that GG will be one of the guests that will be announced last. However WB night account posted a banner of the attendees for the livestream which showed him. Also the weibo opening screen on 3/22 evening had him as an attendee. So this certainly “spoiled” it tho there was never any doubt that GG will be there. I say “spoil” because Weibo Night account made a big deal of announcing attendees in “batches” depending on their perceived status at the event. So this spoils a couple of attendees, including GG, which were not formally announced yet.

The next day 3/23, Yibo pops up on his weibo account and announces the he will be attending. This certainly allowed us to breathe a sigh of relief. His VCR for the awards night was also shared. He really went “surprise bitch, i’m attending” on us which is certainly on brand for him.

AT THIS POINT, the fandom is screaming because we finally have the long awaited same-event. Even if they don’t interact or even look at each other, as long as we can see them at the same awards night then this is a win. It is also important to note that there are a lot of turtles who have never experienced this. Truly one for the books.

3/24, the last day before the actual awards show, Xiao Zhan was announced via his post on his weibo account.

II. Pre-show rumors and everything else

• The notorious “seating arrangement” started going around in the evening of 3/23, as event organizers were already hard at work at the venue in Shanghai. It was rumored that they are in the same zone but XZ is in Row 1 and WYB in Row 2.

jokes were also going around that they should have a loveseat 😂😂😂

• 3/24, there was a video/photo of GG being shared, boarding his plane & arriving in Shanghai. The moto leather jacket he was wearing certainly caught our eye. It’s by Tod’s and the look is similar to what WYB had been wearing when he is photographed @ the airport.

The things that gets us tho is why is he so dressed up only for a plane ride? This is supposed to be mister comfortable clothes hopping on a plane. We’ve seen it so many times. So why is he so stylish? Even if he has a work related engagement after the flight, he can just change. We’re speculating that he is dressing up for the love of his life 💕 He has to look extra fresh when he arrives in Shanghai and they see each other. Also if you look at the side by side i posted above, you can’t really tell that the one on the right is GG when you first look at it.

• GG wore an off white suit coat for filming his Weibo Night VCR. It’s been a while since he wore Off White and when he does, it’s for an event where he and Yibo are gonna attend. Off White has some CPN history because of their “couple wear” in 2018.

The style of the coat is also similar to what Yibo was wearing in his announcement poster. It’s an interesting choice to say the least.

• Some next level coincidence is the night before the event, the Moon & Venus are clearly seen in the night sky. 🌙 and knowing our cpn symbolism history with these two, turtles can’t help but think it’s fate and a sign of good things to happen. also the next time this will happen again 2026.

Then you have the strongest aurora in Tasmania for 32 years. The last time the strongest aurora appeared was in 1991 which is ZZ’s birth year.

This is some kind of cosmic-level romance power 😂

• The real icing on the cake is the night of 3/24, LRLG decides to share a post of events that happened on the same day. All the details and sweets on that are here. 🍬

• Traveling to where Yibo is + playing LoL at midnight clues

III. Red Carpet

Didn’t happen because SINA weibo decided to be a bitch and not give the fans what they want. 🤷🏻‍♀️

IV. Weibo Night Awards Show

• XZ Studio photoset ( Elie Saab ) one two / behind the scenes

• Yibo-official photoset one two / behind the scenes

• XZ Studio photoset ( Balmain ) one two / behind the scenes

• Yibo receiving his award

• Xiao Zhan receiving his award

They didn’t get the popularity award as we expected them to, or even for their dramas, but I think those got consolidated so people don’t have to get up the stage too many times. I found WB night went more with specific things like XZ getting an acting award and Bobo for movie-actor. Maybe they also consulted with the attendees on this. XZ didn’t even get the KING title, but it must be true that he didn’t want it. I mean, any fan who knows and pays attention to what XZ does will feel that another traffic award is not what he needs right now. He’s won it several times already. His passion is acting and he will concentrate on that. Good for him. Good for them.

Yibo immediately left the venue after getting his award because he still has to film night scenes for his drama. GG stayed till the end, but a video showed him running out the venue. He was also in a hurry to leave. lol.

Overall I wanna say that it was as peaceful as it can be. No drama onstage is so much better. At least they did their part in this circus and of course, blessed us with their presence.

V. Time for some post-show Sugar round-up 🍬🍭

• XZ’s look screams Disney Prince! and also, like a grown up version of the Little Prince which is his favorite and have been tied to him & WYB. It’s also from the brand Elie Saab that is popular with making intricate gowns for women and wedding gowns too.

I’m personally happy to see him in this fit! The perfect balance of masculine and feminine 🤍

• The venue where this was shot is the same place one of his Tod’s ad was filmed + Bobo’s Chanel ad. This was already CPNd before and it’s nice to see this place coming up again.

• In XZS’ photoshoot behind the scenes, one of the things on camera that was emphasized was a flower. sure, it could just be because it was pretty but i’ve said so many times that XZS does videos carefully and every frame tells a story. What a coincidence that out of all the shots they can insert as filler, it’s of a PEONY???? I mean. We know who the White Peony of Luoyang is. Wang Yibo.

Plus there was a frame that you can mistake as WYB. They really look alike in some angles! Soulmate things!

• Yibo’s suit for the night is by Givenchy, he is in all black and it makes his Chanel high jewelry accessory stand out more. It’s been a pattern for him, for the past few events to have Chanel as a highlight. Anyway, what blew my mind is how this is a contrast to GG’s. It still matches tho. They can get married. The aesthetic is just 🥹🥹🥹 Yes, GG is not the “bride/wife” but you get the point, how they look together is truly something.

• You can see the element of a “television” in both of their photoshoots. is this a popular theme that i don’t know about??? why is it always them??? Then you have the bts for yibo’s photoshoot, he was holding a video recorder. the TV for GG’s in the meantime, had that V effect.

• This shot is so reminiscent of that scene from Hidden Blade. Again, why would you use this shot??? I'm pretty sure they have better ones but they went with this. an interesting choice.

• Fans are saying WYB bowed in the direction of GG here, but I think it was more of him bowing to everyone and being polite.

• One type of candy that I don’t usually go for, because it’s too invasive and sometimes there are things that we shouldn’t look imply. but we can’t help but notice how their lips are bruised. or maybe these are sores? because of the weather? idk man. yibo bites his lips usually, but ZZ? hmmmm. i’m not confirming anything, just kinda sus that they are in the same city and this happens. 🤔

• not sure about this but fans are hearing GG say “where is wang yibo” to the assistant. here is the video.

A cute incident showing they have the same braincell. lol. seats apart and the same mannerism. i love them!!!

XZS posted another behind the scenes and the BGM and how sexy everything sounds makes my mind go places. The lines goes: I will keep the lights on, until -- till you get back home. Who is this line for??? are you gonna wait for someone who still has night scenes to shoot to come home??? Damn it. Yibo is so a lucky man and I wanna fight him. HAHAHAHAHAHA! He has Xiao Zhan to come home to. I'm happy they are in the same city cause WYB is often exhausted and does long hours for his shoots, that's a given but it's not everyday that he has XZ waiting for him. <3

• LASTLY, my favorite is Weibo Night’s choice to cut to certain things and people depending on who is onstage. I can’t believe they did it to Yibo tho. HAHAHAHAHAHA. So it’s like, for example, AngelaBaby ( actress ) is onstage, they will show Huang XiaoMing’s reaction. Why? They are exes. Then when WY and WJK were accepting their respective awards, the camera cut to YYXQ who is their bandmate in TFBoys and their fans were hoping for a reunion. You get the point?

Even non-cpfs picked up on what happened. After Bobo’s speech, the camera cut to the audience but you can see the CPF HEADBANDS. RED AND GREEN. The event knows. They weren’t that brave to cut to Xiao Zhan tho. 😂😂😂😂 and well, imagine the pandemonium between the two fandoms if they did. What this tells me tho it’s out there. BJYX is known. This is a show broadcasted on CCTV. The stream is watched by 300M++ people, and they still chose to do it. Unless the camera person whatever is a turtle then there is no point in doing this. It was definitely a 👀 moment. What do you all know? Or maybe they were trying to appeal to the very small number of CPFs who were hoping for a same stage? hmmmmmm… I'm not sure if it's good or bad but it's definitely something. It was unexpected and that's why it's my favorite.

----------------------

If you reached the end of this post, thank you for reading! I planned to just do a purely CPN breakdown of events that I usually make with any of the ones they attended before. However, I thought it would be better to make a longer one that details more of the other events and content related to it — and all of that be in one place. This 2022 Weibo Night is added to Turtle History so it’s best to have something that can be used as “cpn archaeology” one day. 💛

If something else comes up, and i'm sure it will, then a separate individual post will be made about it. have a good day everyone!

PS : Do not repost this CPN outside of tumblr without a credit to me and a link back to this post. Do not steal my words. Do not screenshot. In short, do not steal content that i made and claim as yours.

[oreharuuu]

To be One (3)

Summary: Avoiding the game went well for you for a few days. But a talk with a friend might change that decision for the better or worst

Warnings: none

A/N: woop woop! Part 3 y'all, hope you like it! I had fun writing this chapter so it's longer than usual. A few of the accounts i can't tag for some reason so im really sorry T-T

Tag list:

@atinytinaa @hoeranghae1117 @yoongiigolden @canadagoose-monbebe @hwal0v3r @kirooz @dream-in-progress @cara-18 @tr3asureyou @babygurl-hoshi @svn-ways2hvn @kpoplover17 @drunk-on-hwa @stopeatread @starillusion13 @honeyymon @potatoe-life @callmesoltera @kuleo26 @lino-se @darkfairy102190 @seongwin

For the past few days, you're trying your best on ignoring the game with work and socializing. Sure you may not be the most social person ever, but you do have friends.

At the end of the week, Irene and Seulgi invited you to brunch near their workplace. Wendy and Joy were too busy so it's only you three.

The anomaly however was Yeri didn't show up.

Hell she didn't even reply to your message when the incident with Hwayoung happened.

You debated whether or not to ask Irene or Seulgi, but your curiosity won over as you cleared your throat before looking at the two.

"So," You started. "Have you guys seen Yeri? Or... talked with her?"

Irene chewed on her croissant as she shook her head, while Seulgi frowned. "Yeri? No updates on her, but Wendy did say that she's busy with work right now so it's probably why she hasn't been active on social media."

"Or replying to your texts," Irene continued. "I invited her to join me for dinner a few days ago but no answer. So she must be really busy."

"Yeah. Probably because of the new game her company's about to launch."

"Give her some space," Seulgi shrugged. "She's always like this when she's in the zone. Remember last time when she blew up on Joy when she spammed her during a meeting."

You grimaced at the memory, remembering how big the fight was that it made Joy and Yeri didn't talk for a month.

"Believe me, I do not want to relieve that experience," Irene sighed.

Soon the conversation shifted from Yeri, from work to relationship problems; you're glad it's taking your mind off the game and Yeri for a while. Irene said goodbyes first when her manager called her, cursing under her breath making you both laugh in amusement. Seulgi left after an hour, promising to take you and Yeri out for drinks when you all have the time.

Walking back to your apartment, you bought some snacks to eat when you're working. Thankfully the project did wonders to your company, so you're only working light tasks with your coworkers whilst waiting for an update from your supervisor.

"—Yeah! And then she stupidly asked me if I still love her?! Ugh, as if!"

You laughed at what your coworker, Yeonjun, outbursts along with another one, Soobin. Both were also in your team when developing the project, and you got along pretty well so sometimes you liked to call them or have zoom meetings together to spend some time.

"Hmm, told you she was delulu. It's like she's in her own fantasy land that she created," Soobin hums as typing could be heard from his side.

"Yeah," You agreed. "Remember when she visited our work to state she's the new intern? Holy shit was that a fiasco."

Soobin laughed even louder as Yeonjun could only groan. "Man, how could I forget that? Supervisor Kim blasted my ear from having him yell at me for hours."

"Not hours," You and Soobin replied together. "It's only like, five minutes," Soobin continued.

"Felt like hours," He grumbled.

Doing your work whilst talking to them made the bad thoughts go away, especially one residing on the corner of your computer, but you ignored it. What you can't ignore is how your computer likes to glitch and freeze when you're working.

Well, not your computer perse, but the programs you're currently running likes to have problems when before that it's totally fine.

"What the—Are you kidding me?" You hissed as Photoshop didn't respond, making you groan as you slumped down on your chair.

"What? What's wrong?"

"My Photoshop is acting up," You whined.

"Ha! What're you doing on Photoshop anyway?"

"Making your ass even more uglier," You grumbled towards Yeonjun, who squaked in offense.

"Awesome. Can you send that to me after you finished it?" Soobin asked as the both of you ignored Yeonjun's yelling.

"Sure. Maybe I'll finish it today since I've finished my part of the work."

"Wait!" Yeonjun yelled. "You're finished making the poster and banner? You've already sent it to Supervisor Kim?"

"Yup, a few hours ago. So relieved I actually finished it since my computer has been fighting me the whole time."

"Soobin! How about you?"

"Actually thanks for reminding me to email my work."

"Am I the only one who hasn't finished yet in the team?" Yeonjun gasped dramatically.

You hum teasingly, before remembering that he was the only one not finished yet. "Actually, yeah. Eunchae and Chaewon finished theirs already."

"Fuck!"

"Honestly, Yeonjun," Soobin teased. "We're only supposed to make posters and banners ideas for the next event. It's easy."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just say that I'm lazy and—"

Crackling noise from your headphones cut Yeonjun off, making you frown in confusion before clicking back at the call, noticing how it's still going but their voices have disappeared.

"Guys? Hello?"

No answer.

You shrugged before ending the call, whipping out your phone before texting both of them.

You: heyyoo seems like we got disconnected

Soobin: ???

Soobin: wdym

Yeonjun: (name) you're still on the call

You're heart dropped, tension started to rise in your body as you scrambled to text them back.

You: what?? I literally disconnected from the call like a minute ago

Yeonjun: well i mean...could be a lag? You're not talking

Soobin: let's just end the call

Soobin: wanna call again?

You huffed, glancing back at your computer. Shaking your head, you decided to decline his offer, stating that you need to check your computer first if you want it to work properly.

Yeonjun: aight, update us

Soobin: yeah and send me that picture of yeonjun

Yeonjun: TRAITOR

You let out a small smile, sighing in relief because of their antics. You decided to restart your computer, of course after you saved the photoshopped image of Yeonjun. After it turned on, you checked numerous times if it's starting to lag or freeze as you open websites, tabs, or even applications.

Humming happily when you found none, you're startled when a call from Yeri rang from your phone. But the call ended before you could answer, making you stare at your phone in confusion. A text from Yeri seemed concerning enough for you to accept her offer.

Yeri <3: hey

Yeri <3: sorry for not answering

Yeri <3: can we call rn?

You sighed heavily at the reply, your heart easing at knowing that Yeri's actually alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere. Well, that's a hyperbole but you can't help but feel like that when your friends disappeared from the face of the earth.

Waiting for the call to load, you anxiously bit your lip as you waited for her. When Yeri's icon appeared, you quickly turned on your camera, waving sheepishly as you smiled.

"Hey—uh, do you mind turning on your cam? If you don't want to, that's fine! No pressure."

You're only met with silence, but you waited patiently for Yeri to answer.

"Yeah, hold on."

Shuffling could be heard from Yeri's end, before you heard Yeri move around stuff around her desk. She did had a lot of clutter, but the sounds coming from the call seems excessive. You frown hearing plastic water bottles and what you assume to be cans of energy drink fell down, making Yeri curse loudly.

Yeri finally turned on her camera but you realized why she's so hesitant on turning it on in the first place. It's dark in her room, the only light present is from her own computer.

Boy, did she look like a wreck.

Eyebags deep enough to give a hint that she didn't slept for almost a week, hair disheveled like she didn't brush it everyday, her room being a mess like a bomb was dropped.

"Yeri," You whispered. "What happened?"

Yeri looked away as she bit on her thumb, shaking her head as she sniffed. Her eyes glisten with tears as she gasped before looking back at the camera. "I—I tried, I'm working on the game. Alone! My team disappeared when I needed them, and now they're gone!"

You're eyes widen, jaw slack as confusion started to plague your mind. "Disappear? Like, Johnny?"

"Yes! I don't—I don't know where they are right now. I've tried texting them, I've called them, zero! Zero answers! The company's launching an investigation about where my team went, why I'm the only one left!"

You flinched at her voice, sounding loud and angry yet so small. It's obvious it's taken a toll on her, yet you can't do anything except listen to her and try to support her in the best way you can.

"And get this," Yeri laughed maniacally. "The company still wants to me work on the game, alone! Can you fucking believe that shit? They're trying to find people who wants to work on the game but noo they're too busy gossiping about how Yeri's a whore, Yeri's a bitch! We can't work with her because she's too difficult!"

You frowned, yet confused at what she's saying. Yeri seems happy working there, everytime you went out for lunch or dinner she always praises how her company is so good and caring towards their employees, that even Wendy and Seulgi are complaining about how unfair it is.

"Yeri? Hey, what do you mean by that?" You asked gently, trying to calm her down as she's only one second from a mental breakdown. That seems to shut her up, her mouth agape yet no voice comes out, before she's quickly wiping her tears away. You sighed before leaning back on your chair, deciding to not push Yeri further out of her comfort zone. It seems like she's having a hard time, but you don't want to force her.

"No—no, forget about that. Let's just talk, I need your help."

"My help?"

Yeri nodded. "I need you to continue to play the demo game, (name)."

Your heart dropped to the ground, coughing to hide your uneasiness from Yeri. You did sent her the list of glitches, even so far as telling her you don't want to continue playing the game after the last incident. But now you're conflicted.

"I—I know you're hesitant to play it, but I've tried to fix the game as best as I can! Your feedback is actually helping me make things right, and I'm really grateful. But now that I'm the only one working on the game, I can't talk to others people about it to make it good."

Man, she really does know how to pull your heartstrings.

"So...can you play it again, (name)?"

You glanced nervously at Yeri, playing with your fingers as you're having a debate inside your head on what to do.

"Can't you just...send the demo to Wendy or Seulgi? I'm sure they'll be happy to play it. I mean more feedbacks are better, right?" You offered.

Yeri shook her head adamantly, her shoulders tense as she continued. "No! I can't, if the company knows I'm giving the demo to people then I'll be fired. It's supposed to be confidential and I broke the agreement when I gave you that demo."

You groaned, holding your head between your hands. Of course it's not that easy, you didn't even think about the consequences you'll receive when playing a game that's not even released yet. Taking a deep breath, you looked at Yeri before nodding.

"Alright, I'll do it."

You're hoping the game isn't so bad after she fixed it.

♡

Pacing around in your room was not a good thing to do, especially to ease your nerves before playing that damn game. It's already loaded, the cutesy theme song playing in the background as you're having a breakdown before you play it. Yeonjun and Soobin invited you to go have drinks together, but you lied, saying you were busy hanging out with your family.

You felt bad, seeing as they're actually close to you now, but they reassured you that you could always join them on their nightly movie nights next Friday.

You took a mental note, wanting to actually join them because everyone seemed busy with work and other things.

"Okay!" You yelled loudly, punching the air repeatedly before sitting down, clicking the start button as the game loads. "I can do this! I'm not a pussy!"

Day 3

"Shit, it's only day three?!" You hissed.

Not having any time to complain, the game loads you to your dorm, reminding you to take classes to earn more coins and items. Everything seems...fine. Then again, you just started the game, so you're expecting a jumpscare midway playing the game.

Cautiously clicking from classroom to classroom, the task of doing mini games kinda made you relaxed. You're still tense, waiting for Hwayoung specifically to jump and surprise you.

But that didn't happen.

Instead, you're greeted with a new face, well two exactly.

A boy so tall that he could rival Mingi's or Yunho's height, with slicked back brown hair and an easygoing smile. Next to him is a girl you thought is an AI character, straight long black hair with a beauty mark under her mouth.

"Hey, fresh meat!"

The boy's deep voice boomed through your speaker, making you wince as you turned down the volume.

"Did you see a cat nearby? White with black spots and a purple collar?"

You, of course, wanted answered no. Thinking an option will show up, you're surprised the text box from Yunho's encounter popped up, making your hands hover on top of your keyboard instantly to type a response.

No, sorry. I didn't see any cat, just got here |

"Damn, good luck finding it, Karina."

"Oh shut up, Johnny!"

Johnny? Named after Yeri's friend who disappeared? You push the thought away, thinking of it as a coincidence. You've never even see the guy, why act so worried?

"Really sorry to bother you. My name is Karina, this is Johnny. If you see a cat with the same description please call us! We can't let the principal know."

No worries, but why can't the principal know? |

"Because the principal is a loser who doesn't like animals, so he'll call animal control to solve the problem."

"Johnny! Shut up or Seonghwa and Hongjoong will hear you!"

You hummed, curious as to why both of them are mentioned.

Why so scared? I think Seonghwa and Hongjoong are nice people |

"Oh, no one's denying that they're nice. They're just...very strict around what to do here."

"Rules are rules, and for them everyone has to follow it. If not you'll end up like—"

Johnny didn't get to finish his sentence before the game glitches out again, making both of them freeze as Johnny's voice paused every now and then. You anticipated this, trying to hope that nothing scary happened. Thankfully nothing did, as Johnny only continued as if nothing happened. Like his dialogue was cut.

"—Yeah, good guys. But really scary when someone's not up to standards. Well their standards."

You could see Karina rolling her eyes, making you giggle at their cute interaction.

"Whatever. It's nice meeting you, new kid. If you ever want to hangout with us, find us at the club rooms."

Sure! I'll be happy to come by |

"Great! Bye then, (name)."

"Peace out!"

There's the feeling of relief bubbling inside you, the interaction between Johnny and Karina made you a bit relaxed to face off any of the boys right now. Heaving a big sigh, you continued to play mini games and looking around the school.

Not encountering any of the boys, you suck up your fear as you debated who to meet first.

"Maybe I'll meet Yeosang first. I haven't seen him after the first encounter."

Confused as to which place you're visiting first, you picked the library, seeing as you've never actually visited the location before.

Surprise, surprise, Yeosang was actually already there. Surprisingly enough, he's smiling in your direction.

As if he's been waiting for you.

But you brushed it off as a coincidence. Yeosang's character beamed happily when he sees you, waving his hand as he tried to be quiet.

The scene changed as now you're sitting besides him near the window, the light perfectly illuminating his face, making him even more angelic.

"Hey, haven't seen you in a while. You okay?"

The text box popped up again, making you assume that maybe the system could change after a certain encounter. Changing from options to actually typing out the response. Then again, it's really impressive at how fast and human-like the response from the characters are, sometimes even fast enough to make you believe you're actually talking to a human.

Yeah, just...got busy with personal things |

"Well, that won't do. You're new here, relax for a bit. It's not like you have other stuff occupying your life."

You felt like it's a jab to your own real life, but you shrugged it off.

"Anyway, I realized we haven't spend that much time together. So, I was wondering if you want to stay here with me? I wasn't really studying, just wanted some alone time."

Alone time? Then am I intruding? |

"Nonsense, I'm inviting you right now. So, do you accept?"

Of course you agreed, wanting to increase your relationship with him since his percentage was still pretty low when you started. Maybe you'll meet San after this, remembering how the last time the heart didn't pop up for him.

Sure! I have nothing to do anyway |

For the next few minutes, you and Yeosang talked about vague topics, favorite foods, favorite animals; harmless stuff. But every now and then, you had a feeling that a few of the questions are very...weird and invasive.

"Where do you like to spend time out of school?"

"Have you ever dated before?"

"Do you like to sleep with stuffed animals?"

The last question made you glance at a few of the dolls on your bed, before lying to him since your real life persona should be different than the one inside the game.

"Hmm, interesting."

Was Yeosang's only answer before going back to innocent questions like before. The change of questions made your head dizzy as you're typing out what answers would suffice since you don't want to tell things in your real private life.

Yeosang stopped talking after the thirtieth question, seemingly frozen before smiling softly at you. You noticed how his eyes turned blank with no emotions before switching it up in the last second.

"Well, look at the time. I have a meeting with Hongjoong about club developments, so I guess this is goodbye."

No worries, Yeosang. I had a great time with you |

The heart finally popped up on top of his head, you predicting the percentage would at least be more than five percent, but the final number made you tilt your head in confusion.

37%

"Holy shit," You gawked. "From 2% to 37%?! That's wild."

As you're looking directly at the numbers, you didn't notice how Yeosang's eyes shifted away from you, lookinv around as if he could see the room your in. His face still smiling, before his eyes shifted back to you when he noticed you finally snapping out of your daze.

"I'll go now, (name). Goodbye."

With that, Yeosang was gone from the screen, leaving you with an empty screen. Remembering where exactly to meet San, you choose the gym as the next place. The only reason you chose that location is because of how buff he looks under his uniform.

"Can't believe I made that assumption just because of how broad his shoulders are," You grumbled.

Lo and behold, San was actually there. At first you thought he meant the school's gym, as in for sports and other school activities. But your mind is blown away when you notice an actual gym near the school area. And God must be somewhere laughing maniacally to himself as you saw how San is basically drenched in sweat, making the flimsy material of his top clung to his body like a second skin.

"(Name)! Hey, what's up?"

San smiled so brightly that you physically have to look away as if the sun just hits your eyes. "Focus, (name)! Don't be tempted by his cute smile!"

Hi, San! Nothing much, I have nothing to do so I was strolling around. I didn't know there's two gym's, what's up with that? |

"Oh! Yeah, I guess the school wanted to blow some of the money that they have, plus a lot of the students here wanted a real gym of sorts."

Still, pretty fancy for a school to have like two gyms |

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Time passed as you continued to have a conversation with San, having a great time as he's always so energetic and fun to be around with. Suddenly remembering of the items you have in your inventory, you decided to use it to San since the heart didn't pop up for him.

Hey, San! I have a gift for you |

It seems like San didn't expect you to say that to him, as his face turned bright red before he smiled sheepishly.

"A gift? You didn't have too!"

You clicked on your inventory, deciding on the cute teddy bear you got on your first day. Dragging the item from your bag, you placed it on San's character, resulting in him smiling widely as he now holds the teddy bear in his hands.

"A teddy bear! How cute, it even has a little bow. Thank you so much, (name)."

Suddenly the heart popped up, squinting your eyes to look closely as the percentage was shown to you.

58%

You let out a shocked laughter. "Damn, I didn't know the items were that helpful." You're conflicted whether or not the items were actually helping that much, or it's just the glitch happening again. In the end, your objective to raise your relationship status with San was already done.

"Um, (name)? Even though you're new here, I feel like you're perfect here. Like...you're the missing puzzle piece."

Weird thing to say after receiving a gift, but you'll go with it.

Come on, I'm not that important for you to call me a missing puzzle piece |

You noticed the pout on San's face, yet you saw how his face darkens for a second, as if your words annoyed him.

"Don't say that! A lot of us say that you're perfect! Even though you feel so far away, there's always a chance you'll be much, much closer to us."

"And it's starting," You groaned. Did the creepy dialogue really had to be amped up after Yeosang? It's as if the game knows these things scare and annoy you at the same time. But curiosity did peek out of your mind, wanting to know why exactly San phrased it that way.

What do you mean far? I'm right here |

"You know what I mean, (name)."

No? I really don't, it's like your saying I'm not physically here when I am |

"It's...complicated. I'm not supposed to even talk to you about this or Hongjoong will get mad. Just know that we're always here for you, and I really do hope in the future, we could be together."

You really do wanted his words to affect you as much as he intended too, but you're still creeped out by his choice of words that you can't help but grimace at the thought. There's a frown on your face as you noticed San looking quiet sad, almost changing from his hopeful expression.

What's wrong? |

"Nothing—just that, you seemed hesitant to be here with us."

Your frown deepened when he said that, as if he could look through your computer screen to see the facial expressions you pull. You glanced away for a while, head disappearing yet your eyes are still looking at him.

You might be hallucinating, but you really thought San's eyes seems to follow your every move, his eyes now off to the side where you disappeared. He's still standing like usual, but you noticed how his eyes are silently trained onto you.

Creepy.

Suddenly, you wanted to prove a theory that just popped up inside your head, actually thinking you're slowly loosing your mind over this game.

You silently grabbed your phone, pretending to scroll for a few seconds as you discreetly tried to look back and forth between San and your phone. Nothing suspicious happens, just that San's pout deepened as seconds passed by.

You needed proof. Especially considering what Yeosang said to you earlier.

You pressed Soobin's phone number, turning it on speaker as you waited. You acted nonchalant, tapping your fingers on the table whilst you still glanced at the screen. San's pout was gone, only replaced by a confused stare as he stands there.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Soobin! What's up?"

"Eh, not much. Why you callin?"

"Actually," You moved away, now sitting on your bed. "I wanted to invite you guys to my apartment! Maybe a movie night, you know?" You continued, voice loud enough so your target could still hear the conversation.

"Really? That would be awesome! I gotta ask Yeonjun first though, I don't know if he has plans or not."

You glanced at your computer screen, noticing San now looks tense and furious as he only stands there, as if he's forced to listen.

The change of emotions are really weird, since you haven't touched the game since your call. But you continued, wanting to see what happens.

"That's alright. We could have movie night next Friday, you could stay at my apartment."

"Ooh, like a sleepover!"

You laughed at his enthusiasm, "Yeah, basically like a sleepover."

The conversation continued on, before Soobin excused himself as he wanted to meet his friend in a few hours. Bidding goodbye, you ended the call, walking to your chair before sitting down.

You hummed to yourself, placing down your phone on the table as you typed your reply.

You're acting really weird, San |

You looked at him, hiding your wince as San's face didn't hold his signature dimpled smile. His eyes holds a certain anger, his jaw clenched in annoyance as his hands turned into fists.

"Why did you do that?"

His voice came out gruff, as if he's holding back a growl coming out of his throat. You decided to play innocent, tilting your head in confusion before typing back.

Do what? I just stood here, talking to you |

"(Name), please, don't do that. It hurts us when you do these kinds of things without thinking about our feelings."

A scoff came out of your mouth before you could stop it, feeling annoyed now.

Jeez, I didn't do anything! What are you guys even talking about? |

"Inviting those—"

You waited and waited for him to continue, but nothing happened. The sounds of crackling came out of your speaker for a few minutes, before it stopped. You saw San's desperate face still on your screen, pursing his lips as he looked away. You're wondering what's going on until Hongjoong appeared, smiling as he now stands next to San.

"Hello there, (name)! Funny meeting you here."

Thought you had a meeting with Yeosang about club developments? |

He seems surprised at how blunt you are, but his smile turned into a smug one as he placed a hand on San's shoulder.

"Ah, that. We're already done talking. Seonghwa is handling it now, so I wanted to grab San for a few minutes to...talk."

You frown, already feeling suspicious about how sudden Hongjoong appeared.

"But, hyung! I was—"

"We need to have a talk, San. The others are already waiting for us."

You grimaced at his tone, already feeling uncomfortable at how scary Hongjoong was now.

You guys should go, I need to meet with a few friends anyway |

"What friends—"

"San!"

You jump in surprise, eyes wide at Hongjoong's outburst. San closed his mouth before glaring at Hongjoong, to which the latter only glared back. They seemed to be having a conversation only with their eyes, the tense silence made you uneasy before it broke when San spoke first.

"Bye, (name)."

Yeah...bye |

In a matter of seconds, both if them disappeared from your screen. You groaned loudly at the headache forming inside your head, massaging your head as you closed your eyes.

"Can't this game be normal for one day?"

You quickly continued on day 3, wanting it to end fast enough so you'll be done for today. When night comes, you hurriedly exited the game, closing it before turning off your computer. You sighed, standing up as you walked out of your room.

"I need a drink."

♡

"The coast is clear," Yunho sighed when he no longer felt your presence inside his body, his posture relaxing a little as he sat next to Mingi. "She's gone now."

"San, you almost crossed the line today."

"Almost? He acted way out of line for her to feel suspicious towards us!" Wooyoung screamed.

"Fuck you," San hissed. "Yeosang started first when he asked stupid questions."

"Oh, believe me, I know. I've already reprimanded him enough," Seonghwa darkly answers, crossing his arms as he stared at San. "Now, it's your turn."

"You all can't blame me!" San yelled, standing up from his seat as he slams the table with enough force. "You all heard her! She's inviting other people, other men, to her home!"

"No one's blaming you, hyung," Jongho sighed. "But we need to act normal after she didn't show up for so long. Do you want that to happen again?"

Jongho was only met with silence from San, who looked away as he shook his head. "No...I don't—we don't need that to happen again. I feel empty without her, I can't stand the emptiness. That's why I had to stop her!"

"We all do," Mingi shrugged. "But we have to be patient, especially if we want our plan to go well."

"I just," San sighed, slumping down to his seat. "I don't want her to be with anyone else besides us. We all felt the connection when her face showed up in our eyes. I want her to be here with us."

"We know, San," Hongjoong sighed. "It's not easy to only be able to watch her this way. So far yet so close. It's torture for only being able to see her for only a few hours, even minutes, for just one day."

"Thank God we're able to access her computer freely now," Wooyoung added. "Not interacting with her was torture. But I know I can't just watch her from a far in the long run, that's why we need to stick to our plan."

"Well, if we want to stick to the plan we can't just pinpoint and blame San here," Yeosang frowned. "All of the other trash needs to act as well."

Mingi and Yunho snorted at the way Wooyoung growled, slapping his back teasingly. "What? Got reminded of Hwayoung?"

"After the little stunt she pulled...I can't even be mad at Wooyoung for killing her," Seonghwa shrugged.

"Fuck her for scaring (name) like that! I can't believe she'll corrupt her own data like that," San growled, Wooyoung nodding along with him.

"Less trash to be bothered though, sounds good to me," Yeosang shrugged.

"We still need to keep an eye out on the new ones," Hongjoong hums, looking at a few folders on the table. The names are written on the cover, Hongjoong opening one of the folders, finding a picture of Hwayoung crossed out with a red marker. "They're a risk, but they were essential on pushing (name) back to playing the game."

"Pushing (name)? More like pushing her friend," Jongho laughed loudly, making the others smirk in union.

"Can't believe at how easy she complied to us."

"More like backstabbing. It's obvious she thinks her life is better than our darling," Yunho answered, the pet name slipping up from him making the others tease him.

"Can you blame her? We targeted her remaining friends," San hums. "Then again, she's really fucking stupid if she thinks we could make contact with anyone if they haven't played the game yet."

"Whatever, we'll deal with her later when our darling comes to our arms," Seonghwa huffed.

"Deal how?" Wooyoung smirked evilly, Mingi snickering alongside Jongho as they discussed the best way to torture said girl.

Seonghwa shrugged, yet the corners of his mouth are pulled into a maniac smile. "We'll see later. She's trash anyways compared to our darling."

[sh0ek0]

after hours (part 2)

please find the other parts via my masterlist or the #sh0ek0 tag, I'm having some trouble with my posts not showing up in the tags and I think the links are messing this up

genre: angst, smut, dark content, kinda all over the place content warning: 18+ !MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT! mentions of alcohol and drug use, name calling, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, violence, emotional abuse, choking, rough!megumi, slapping, threatening with a gun, Russian roulette, manic kinda episode, I should honestly stop romanticizing this kinda behavior, still: probably more but I am new to this pairing: Megumi x Reader word count: about 6.5k

summary: After Megumi beat up Choso at Yuji's and his houseparty, you're left drunk, high and confused. You start looking for him and remember an incident from your past before you sneak out of the apartment to meet up with your abusive ex, trying to rekindle your toxic relationship.

I'm so sorry this second part took me so long. Again: I don't want to talk myself down and I love writing, it's so much fun but I am very critical of myself and I really think this is trash compared to all the other amazing writing on here. So, THANK YOU SO MUCH for bearing with me and hyping me up. Every single like I got on 'heartbeat' really made my day <3 (I am terrified of posting so brb logging off for a few days help)

recommended songs: Formula - Labrinth / The Hills - The Weeknd / After Hours - The Weeknd / The Zone - The Weeknd / Streets - Doja Cat / Wicked Games - The Weeknd

You stumble through the open door onto the roof terrace. There are people staring at you and some of them seem to recognize you - you knew people were talking and you were old enough to just not care about that kinda shit anymore. They haven't been through what you've been through and if they decided to judge you? Well that was on them.

Right now you needed to find him. Megumi reacted the way he did because he loved you. You knew that. You pass by a table and a few lounge chairs and recognize the people sitting there from your college lectures. A girl, you remember her name to be Yue, waves you over. 

"Y/N! Hi, are you alright?" she asks and you can hear a tiny bit of concern in her voice as you stumble and bump into one of the chairs. 

"Hi, uh, yeah 'm fine." you answer and shoot her a smile, fumbling with the sleeves of your dress before you drop into the chair you just bumped into. Your head was spinning while you were desperately trying to process what had just happened inside but it was too much, it was too loud, too many people, too much booze. Everyone around you seemed to have the time of their lives while you were stuck inside your mind.

You reach for the half-empty bottle of vodka that was on the table in front of you and pour yourself a glass. It would definitely not help you to get any clearer in the head, but it would calm your nerves. Or at least you could just escape this mess for a few more minutes.

You put the glass to your lips and down its contents before filling it right back up. You can feel the stares of the guys sitting next to you. You never bothered to speak to anyone in your lectures and you didn't even know their names but apparently they seemed to enjoy seeing you in this state.

Under normal circumstances you wouldn't give them a single glance and you would’ve snapped at them for staring at you like this but now, as drunk as you were, you didn't even notice how far your dress had ridden up, or the spilled liquor on your cleavage. The wet fabric clung to your boobs, exposing you without really exposing you.

"Hey, slow down." Yue laughed as you down another shot, taking the bottle out of your hand. You look at her before leaning back in your chair, closing your eyes for a brief moment. 

"Listen I actually don't want to bother you any longer," you frown, unsure what to say next "just 'wanna know if you saw Gojo or Megumi I- I am looking for him." you say, unsure if Yue could understand you over the music.

Yue looks at you. You know she understood you because you can see pity in her eyes and you immediately regret asking her in the first place. You told yourself that you didn’t care but you still hated that everyone around you had their opinion about you and your relationship. No one dared to say it out loud, but everyone thought the same. Even your friends. 

"Well, I don't know where Gojo is but I saw Megumi passing by just when I came out here," She moves closer to you to pull your dress down, glaring at the two guys that were staring at you. 

"I think he left." She looks at her hands, obviously searching for the right words to say to you.

Yue leans over to you. You weren't exactly close but apparently most people on campus knew about the ups and downs in your relationship. People really liked to talk. 

"Y/N I guess your friends are really worried about you," she says gently, trying not to cross your boundaries. "You should really stop looking for him - I mean everyone saw the bruising on your neck-" 

Well, so much for not crossing boundaries. 

"Megumi would never hurt me." you protest, cutting her off.

"-people say he threatened you with a gun after an argument escalated." Yue carefully put her hand on your leg and you flinched.

"That's bullshit." you laugh, getting flustered. How could this even have spread around? You told nobody except Maki. 

"That’s not what happened." you whisper.

"You don't threaten someone you love with a gun." Yue said in a sharp voice. You look at her, completely thrown off guard. 

"Yeah and I guess you don't stick your nose in other peoples fucking business." you hiss and lean on your hands to lift yourself up out of the chair, a little bit wobbly on your feet. You grab the bottle of vodka from her hands and stumble in the direction of the terrace door.

You feel tears well up in your eyes as you remember that day a few weeks ago. It happened in your dorm room again, you just came home from another lecture. Grabbing you from behind in complete darkness, Megumi covered your mouth with his hand to keep you from screaming as he pressed cold metal to your temple. You will never forget how utterly and absolutely terrified you were. 

You will never forget the look he had in his eyes when he threw you against the wall and made you face him. You could see on his face how much he enjoyed having absolute power over you.

***

"You fucking stalking me now?" he spat at you, holding you against the wall of your dorm room by your neck. Your throat still hurt from the last time he did this to you. 

Megumi had an old revolver in the other hand and pointed it at your head. "What the fuck did you think you were doing last night? You are fucking crazy, Y/N." Your body was shaking, he sounded so angry it completely scared the shit of you.

Would you let him treat you like this for the rest of your life?

"You were fucking some other bitch last night you fucking asshole," you screamed out, cutting him off. "I fucking know it! Stop bullshitting me I fucking heard you through that door." You started crying.

"You telling me this after you sucked off some random guy at the party you were at? You fucking kidding me?" - "We just kissed an-and I was drunk-" you started explaining but got cut off as Megumi pulled you towards him by your neck before slamming your head against the wall. You let out a muffled groan.

He was still holding the gun to your temple and you were scared shitless that it would go off. 

”'We just kissed and I was drunk'” he mimicked your voice and you cried out in pain. Your head hurt, your face was scrunched up and your eyes closed. 

”You are a fucking whore, Y/N, and you don't fucking own up to your actions. You’re a fucking slut and you think you deserve to get treated like a fucking princess.” Megumi spat at you.

You started bawling. 

"At least that bitch wasn't as fucking annoying." Megumi huffed. 

"I really fucking hate you." You yelled at him. 

"Leave me alone, stop touching me." You felt a headache coming on, your head was throbbing and tears were flowing uncontrollably down your face. "I hate you."

How could you keep on doing this to yourself? You slowly came to the realization that nor you were scared of him neither you were scared of him being violent. You were simply scared about the fact that no matter what he did to you, you couldn't stop loving him.

"I know you do." Megumi answered.

He took his hand off from around your neck and you felt the cold metal leave your skin as he slowly lowered the gun. Your pulse pounded against the spot where the barrel had just been pointed at and you see the usual blank stare returning to his face. 

"You're abusive and a fucking psychopathic maniac." you cried, trying to catch some air.

He just kept staring at you with emptiness in his eyes, watching tears stream down your cheeks. 

"I hate the way you're making me feel, Megumi." you added quietly, staring at the ground.  

"I know." he said. 

You sniffled, tears still streaming down your face.

"Can't you just leave me alone already?" you said, rubbing the bruising on your throat with shaky hands. You didn't even believe yourself and the words that came out of your mouth seemed so far away. As if you were standing next to yourself and listening to some other person talking.

"That's what you want me to do?" he asked in a calm voice and lifted the gun that was still in his hand. 

No you didn't. 

Megumi opened the chamber of the revolver in his hands. You saw that it was indeed loaded when he dropped the six bullets into his hand and slipped five of them in his pocket. He then placed a single round back into the gun and spinned the cylinder with his thumb.

You stood there in silence and watched what he was doing.

He lifted the gun and held it against your forehead. You closed your eyes, unable to stop your body from shaking. You begged him to stop.

"Megumi, stop, you’re scaring me, please stop that." you pleaded. "Just leave me alone, please stop-"  

Not until you felt him pull back the gun did you dare to open your eyes. Your cheeks were wet with tears and as soon as you opened your eyes, his gaze met yours. His dark eyes looked so empty as he put the barrel to his own head. 

Your heart stopped once again.

And then he pulled the trigger.

You squealed and instantly flinched but you could only hear a silent click! - the gun didn’t go off. 

Suddenly it dawned on you what he was up to. Even if you didn't quite want to believe it, in the condition he was in right now he would have been capable of anything. Even of something as crazy as this.

And you were so fucking scared of how far he would go this time.

"Megumi- stop p-please STOP." you sobbed.

He was manic. Completely out of his mind. 

"You asked me to leave you alone." His voice eerily calm, as always. He closed his eyes and grimaced, pulling the trigger again. 

Nothing. No loud BANG! just a faint metallic click!

Watching him almost put a bullet in his head a second time had traumatized you. If he hadn't managed to do that by now, he certainly did at that moment.

"Megumi- PLEASE- please stop this." you screamed hysterically and reached out to him, your hand now touching his chest. 

"Please stop, I-I love you- I love you so much- p-please stop I don’t want you to leave me, please-" you wailed. Your body followed your hand and you leaned against him, head buried in his chest. You felt so weak, barely able to hold yourself on your feet. You sobbed and cried into his chest, staining the fabric of his sweater with salty tears. 

And you could feel that his body was shaking as well. 

You didn't dare look up at him. After a minute that felt like an eternity you finally felt his arm wrap around your waist, stone-cold metal now pressed against your back. 

Megumi’s chin was resting on top of your head and he slowly pressed his lips to you hair, inhaling your scent while planting kisses.

"Next time you ask me to leave you I’ll kill us both." he whispered in a cold voice and you nodded, barely noticeable. 

"I love you." he added and you closed your eyes.

He loved you. That was all that mattered to you. 

You could never love another man, not even if you wanted to.

***

You made it back inside on shaky legs, your heels were way too high for the amount of booze you had in your system by now. You screw off the lid of the bottle in your hands and take a sip. Looking around you spot none of your friends except Yuta but he didn’t seem to notice you. 

He’s sitting on that very couch you were sitting on with Choso just a while ago and at a second glance you can see that he’s making out with your roommate. Maki didn’t seem to notice you either, as she was completely distracted by Yuta’s lips and his hands all over her body.

Under other circumstances you would have been quite excited about this turn of events - you knew how long Maki had been crushing on him. And you also knew that Yuta was the one who fell first, given how he acted around her and how he looked at her like she was the only woman on the planet. 

But now you were way too drunk and way to invested in finding Megumi to care about anything else. You push past a few people while drinking from the almost empty bottle, trying to find the front door.

After taking a few wrong turns you eventually find yourself standing in front of the door through which you had entered the apartment a couple hours ago. And just as you put your hand on the doorknob, you feel someone snatch the bottle from you.

"What the-" you start and turn around, looking at pink hair and a deeply concerned face. 

"What are you doing? Let me get you home." Yuji was completely sober again, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. 

"I really need to get som' fresh air Yuji, please jus' leave me 'lone" You slur, struggling to stay on your feet.

Yuji held the empty bottle in his left hand and grabbed your wrist with his right to keep you from falling. 

"Y/N, please, don’t go out there by yourself. You can either sleep in my room or I’ll get you home." He tries to pull you away from the door but you stand your ground.

"Please just let me gooo." you beg, impatiently stomping with your feet after finding your balance again. "Let me go." you insist and try to pull your arm away from him.

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Y/N" Yuji says and you have literally no idea on how to get out of this situation. It was not like he would just let you leave like this.

"Listn' I really don' need a babysitter and I have an Uber waiting for me, so please just lemme' go." you lie to him, hoping he would be satisfied with that. 

"Bullshit, you did not call an Uber. That’s like a five minute walk, we’re right next to campus." he busted your lie. "What are you really up to, huh?" Yuji asks.

Choso and Yuji indeed lived right next to the campus. You had always asked yourself how they were able to afford this huge apartment and you figured that Choso not only consumed the drugs he hid here by himself - but also dealt them. That would explain at least a few things, for example all the people who constantly went in and out of here.

After a while of not answering him, Yuji finally lets go of your wrist and looks at the ground. 

"You're looking for him, don't you?" he asks after meeting your gaze again. The look in his eyes made you feel so terrible and ashamed. 

"Listen, he’s my best friend too, but he just beat up my brother and that look on his face? I don’t know Y/N, he looked like he was capable of anything in that moment." You tried to avoid his gaze, but no chance. It seemed like he pinned you to the wall with his eyes alone.

"I'm not looking for him- I'm-" you start when suddenly you get cut off by a few guys that were calling out for Yuji. As he turns around for a split second you immediately take advantage of him being distracted to open the door and slip outside. 

You quickly walk in the direction of the stairs, your head spinning but you try to stay composed and take one step after the other before finally stumbling through the door downstairs onto the street. 

The sky was completely black, not a single star in sight and the only light was coming from a few dimly lit street lamps. Thankfully it was still relatively warm outside.

You take a few shaky steps away from the building, still a bit afraid Yuji would follow you. You were in no condition to run from him. 

For a while the sound of your heels on concrete is the only thing you can hear until you notice the faint buzz of your phone in your purse. 

MEGUMI: "Meet me outside. I'll wait for you." Your heart starts beating faster. 

The text was from about 30 minutes ago so you figure that you didn't have a signal upstairs in the apartment. You look up from the screen and turn around, trying to find where Megumi was waiting.

You flinch a little when suddenly a parked car on the side of the road starts its engine. 

You recognize the black pickup truck and as the lights inside light up for a brief moment, you see Megumi sitting in the driver's seat. Your vision is still a bit blurry and your head’s dizzy but your legs are already carrying you towards the car. 

He really expected you to come looking for him.

You open the car's door and slip into the passenger seat without saying a word. The lights inside are dimmed and you can only see his pale, slender fingers on the steering wheel. His dark clothes swallow him up and the hood of his sweater is pulled down over his face. 

Megumi did not say a single word either, his face turned towards the windshield in front of him. 

"Y/N!" you hear someone call out for you as you close the door behind you. Looking through the window you spot Yuji at the entrance door of the apartment building. He's holding the open door and watching you get into the car. 

"Your dog’s already looking for you, huh?" Megumi asks without expecting an answer and starts the truck. He drives off before Yuji could even think about running after you. 

Yuji's eyes were full of concern and yours were full of guilt as you turn to face him, but you quickly lower your gaze. You couldn’t stand looking at him. You knew how desperate he must feel right now.

At this point you wouldn't blame your friends if they never spoke to you ever again. The hours they spent worrying about you, the evenings they spent trying to talk you out of your relationship with Megumi. 

It was all for nothing.

You slip out of your heels and throw them to the back of the truck. Megumi looked at you, one hand on the steering wheel. He watched you while you were rubbing your aching feet, trying to ease the pain from walking in these goddamn high heels for hours. 

With his free hand he stroked your thigh, motioning you to put your legs in his lap. 

"C'mere." you hear his deep voice and you hesitate for a second before you stretch your legs out towards him. He starts massaging your freshly pedicured feet with one hand, the other one gripping the steering wheel tightly. His eyes were focused on the road in front of him. 

You close your eyes for a moment and enjoy the sensation of his touch, your whole body was aching and this right now was a blessing, no matter how awkward the situation was.

After a few minutes you feel the car speeding up. You knew that Megumi was probably still drunk but you also did not really care about it. It was not a big surprise to you that he would drive drunk and it was also not the first time he did this. 

For a really long time neither of you said a single word and you were just enjoying his touch on your skin, without having to fill the silence.

"What were you thinking?" Megumi was the first to break the silence, eyes still fixated on the road. His voice was icy and it made you shiver.

"What d’you mean?" you ask, pretending to be clueless. Your head starts spinning a little as you open your eyes again.

"Don’t play dumb." Megumi huffed, looking over to you, directly into your eyes. "I mean you, sitting in Choso's lap, behaving like a slut in front of everyone." 

"Mhm." you answer, turning your face away from him. You switch on the radio. 'After Hours' by The Weeknd starts playing, probably from some playlist you made for him. 

"Technically, I wasn’t sitting in his lap." you say. You're not sure you would have had the courage to say that if Megumi hadn't been busy driving. 

Even though you’re unsure of what to say next, you didn't want to submit to him again. You did not want to make yourself so small anymore.

"Shouldn’t the question be: Why the hell do you even care?" You shift your weight and put one foot up on his thigh, stroking his crotch through the fabric of his pants. 

The last bit of alcohol in your blood gave you at least a little courage.

"It’s not like we are together anymore." you say teasingly as he looks over to you again. 

Megumi grabs your leg, pushing it back down roughly. You wince, as his grip on your ankle is a bit too harsh. 

"Ouch." you protest and he lets go of you. You send him an innocent smile and tilt your head to the side, as you continue to stroke his thigh with your foot. You feel a bulge growing in his crotch just seconds later

"So why does it matter to you?" He doesn’t answer. You see the grip of his hand tighten around the steering wheel, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he keeps on caressing your feet and legs, trying to push them down or hold you still but you don’t let him.

The two of you just sit in silence again, listening to the music without talking to each other.

"It matters because I don’t want to see that fucking bastard all over you, acting like he owns y-" Megumi says after a while but you cut him off.

"We’re not together anymore and you don’t get to beat up anyone I am involved with," You snap at him. "Cut your fucking bullshit Megumi, I am sick of this." 

You don’t know how to feel. This is all so confusing - a big part of you is annoyed with him and so hurt and heartbroken, but the other part, probably even bigger, wants to nestle in against his chest and leave as little space as possible between the two of you. 

And he knew that, too. That smug piece of shit knew you inside out, and acting was not exactly your strength.

"Then why are you here?" he asks and glances at you, both hands on the steering wheel again. 

You think for a moment, look over at him, then out the window again. You skip to the next song and loll your legs in his lap now sitting on your side and resting against the back of the car seat.

"I guess I make terrible life choices and besides, you almost hospitalized my one chance at some superficial sex tonight so you have to deal with me now." You say, trying to sound almost bored. Or  at least unbothered.

Megumi swallows, eyes still fixated on the road. You figured that this was not what he wanted to hear but to your surprise you hear him chuckle seconds later. 

Well, as you had already noted: he knew you too well.

"Nah, don’t bullshit me." he sneered. "You started looking for me as soon as you arrived at that party. I saw you disappear with Yuji immediately after." 

Megumi ignored your little show of pretending that all of this left you completely cold and you just wanted to end up in someones bed. It was a show after all.

"And I saw you getting out of that bathroom, holding hands with my best friend." You cross your arms. "Wearing the dress I bought for you. " 

"I doubt that you wanted Choso to fuck you tonight." Megumi huffs, his deep voice making your heart race. 

"I doubt that you wanted anyone else’s attention than mine." He was so right.

After a few more minutes of sitting in silence with the music playing softly in the background and Megumi driving off into the darkness, you roll the window all the way down. He looks over to you as you lean your head out slightly, hair waving in the breeze. 

You take a deep breath and lean out a bit further, supporting yourself on the window frame. As you arch your back a little, your breasts start to perk up and you close your eyes to fully enjoy the cool night air blowing in your face. Besides the music and the sound of the engine it was so quiet outside. The world was asleep and somehow that comforted you.

You feel Megumi’s gaze on your body. His hands act upon his thoughts as he starts stroking up your calves, over your thighs and further up under your dress. You lean back inside and your eyes meet, but as always you couldn't quite read his expression. 

You slowly pull your legs out of his lap and rest your feet on the dashboard. Without breaking eye contact you lift yourself up out of your seat, pulling up your dress a little and taking off your panties. His eyes widen for a second but he seems to try his best to stay composed.

In your perception, you didn't have much power over him. Not after he managed to read you like an open book once again. He was right about everything he said, even if you wish it was different. 

You only went to that party because you hoped something like this would happen.

Megumi would probably not make that statement - even if it didn't seem like that to you, he knew you could bring him to his knees with the blink of an eye.

He swallows hard, turns away for a moment to look at the road and looks right back at you again. You feel his hand run across your thigh, squeezing gently.

You meet his gaze with the most innocent smile on your lips before you throw your panties in his direction. 

Megumi's lips twitch as he takes a look at the pair of panties lying in his lap. 

"I knew I was right." he says with a smug grin on his lips. You notice his eyes immediately scanning the road for an exit and you giggle as the car takes a sharp turn off into some run-down construction side.

"Well, you better hurry up, so you can make up for the amazing sex I would’ve had if it wasn’t for you." you purr and look up at him from big doe eyes. 

He glances over, looking you up and down 

"I will definitely make you regret saying that out loud." Megumi hums before he brings the car to a halt in the shadow of an unfinished building. 

You roll the window back up and climb over to him without thinking twice, straddling his lap in the drivers seat. He grabs your hips to bring you into the right position and you smile down at him before you lower your lips to his neck. 

"Promise?" you ask and feel his hands move all over your body before sliding under your dress, pushing it up and squeezing your ass with both of his hands while you’re leaving hickeys on his pale skin.

"God, I missed that feeling." he groans as you grind down on his lap. You can feel how hard he already was while dampening the fabric of his pants with your soaking wet pussy. You pull back for a moment and look into his eyes. Just seconds later your lips crash down on his, wet and sloppy as you hold his face with both of your hands.

His hands move further down your ass and you moan into his mouth when his fingers reach your slick heat, sliding through your wet folds. He teases you, circling your clit and your clenching hole lazily with two fingers. He deepens the kiss before your lips part with an audible pop! and you’re left to catch your breath. 

His lips wander along your jaw and the side of your neck while your hands move from his face down his neck and over his chest, further down to his pants. Megumi’s hands are back on your ass to lift you up a little so you can try and open up his belt to pull down his trousers. With a hasty movement you relieve him of his pants and grind down on him immediately after.

You flinch a little when you feel his leaking tip brush against your sensitive clit. Letting out a quiet whimper you start grinding on him again, sliding his hard dick through your wet folds. He pulls you into another kiss, gentle at first before he nips at your bottom lip and then bites down hard. You pant and slide your tongue into his mouth, making him groan in return.

You pull away and look deep into his eyes, arms now wrapped around his neck. Megumi pulls you up again by your waist, positioning his cock at your wet entrance. You cry out in pleasure just as he pushes the fat tip of his cock inside you without giving you any time to adjust. 

"Ahh, 'gumi! Fuck-" you moan. You lift yourself up again, the sensation of his dick filling you out being just too much to handle for you right now. Megumi looks at you, a crooked smile on his lips. Hands on your hips and lower back he pulls you closer to him, you can feel his hot breath against your neck.

"Too much?" He breathes into your ear. "Guess you didn’t fuck around after all." 

"Good girl 'been waiting for me." he whispers, caressing your back with one hand before he thrusts up deep into your tight pussy, bottoming out completely. You squeal but have no chance of escaping him as he holds you in place with both of his hands.

"Ah- Fuck! Fuck- Megumi-" you whine, throwing your head back in pleasure. 

"Shit- How are you so fucking tight?" you hear Megumi growl though clenched teeth as he holds you down for another moment to keep you from moving. Finally his grip on your hips loosens a little and you start grinding up and down, picking up the pace. Still, you felt how much he hated not having full control over you so he kept on guiding you with his hands. 

He watched your pussy swallow his cock whole, going so deep and hitting spots inside you that made you cry out in pleasure and pain, his thick girth stretching you out just right. 

Megumi is quick to push your dress further up your waist to expose your boobs, watching them bounce up and down as you keep on riding his dick. You moan out in pleasure while picking up the pace of grinding on his cock, making him pant and groan against your soft skin.

His gaze and hands wander all over your body, having your soaked cunt crush down on his cock even harder now that you were free to move however you liked. Megumi’s getting lost in watching your cute pussy bury him deep inside, creaming and slowly forming a white ring around his shaft. 

Your head’s still thrown back in pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of your head from the sensation of your tight hole clenching around his thick girth, your moans and gasps and groans and the sound of skin slapping against skin fill up the car. 

He watches you in awe as you fuck yourself on his cock exactly how you need it, whimpering, moaning and breathing so hard as he puts a thumb to your clit, drawing harsh circles that make you flinch. 

"You’re so fucking beautiful-" he groans, trying to catch his breath and coming back to reality as he notices your moans getting needier and your breathing getting harder. 

"'Please 'gumi- need you to-" you babble, your grinding on his dick gets sloppier and after a few more lazy circles Megumi's hands move to your waist, squeezing the fat on your hips on his way up.

One hand on your waist, the other moving up, grabbing and squeezing your boobs before wrapping around your neck, he holds you in place as he roughly starts fucking up into you. 

Your thighs were already shaking, his hand around your neck still squeezing tightly. You’re gasping for air while now being fucked at a brutal pace.

"Oh- Fuck- just like that Megumi-" you moan. "Please d-don’t stop- Just like that-" The quiet pleads leave your lips and you close your eyes, desperately trying to hold yourself up by supporting yourself with your hands on the window frame and steering wheel.

"You think Choso would’ve made you feel like this?" Megumi sneered, already leaving bruises on your neck by how hard he was squeezing down his hand. You try to shake your head but instead you can just let out a quiet whimper.

"Huh? You think he could’ve fucked you like I fuck you?" he spat, loosening his grip just as you begin to see stars forming in the corners of your eyes. You feel his hand on your cheek and a second later you hear a loud slap! followed by a stinging sensation on your face.

"I asked you a question." he growls, his thumb on your lips, pressing into your mouth. You begin to suck on it instinctively, your eyes half closed and your strength slowly leaving you because he was pounding so hard up into you.

"N-No- only you-" you whimper, voice breaking.

"Good girl," he praises "be a good little slut and keep squeezing me so tight." His thumb leaves your mouth and you fall forward a bit, losing the support of his hands. Your walls clench around him, turning you into a moaning mess against the hot, sweaty skin of his face.

"Fuck- such a good little whore for me, huh?" Megumi growls into your ear while your head rests against the side of his face. He’s still at a brutal pace, his thrusts getting even deeper and you can’t help but whimper and cry on top of him.

"P-Please- Can’t take n’more" you sob while he fucks into you relentlessly, making you cry out in pain and pleasure. 

"Please- Please let me cum-" you whimper, tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes. 

"Look at me." Megumi orders and you try to lean back again, supported by his strong arms holding you upright. 

"F-Feels so good." you cry, squirming and wiggling under his touch, overwhelmed with the delicious feeling of his dick pumping in and out of you. He’s hitting all the right spots while your walls are squeezing him so tight. Megumi holds you in place, hands on your hips and lower back, not letting you move a centimeter to the side. 

"Fuck- doing so good- now cum on my dick, be a good girl for me." Megumi groans, not taking his eyes off of you for even a second. Tears roll down your cheeks while you look deep into his dark eyes, black strands of hair sticking to the damp skin of his forehead. 

With every thrust you feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter, with every brush of his shaft against your puffy clit you feel yourself getting closer to the edge until you feel that sweet release washing over your body with a final harsh thrust. Your lewd moans and your tight pussy clenching around his cock throw him over the edge just seconds later and you feel him pumping his load deep into you with a few feral groans escaping his lips.

"F-fuck- keep squeezing me so tight," he breathes into your ear, pressing your body as close as possible to his while you lazily continue to move up and down on his dick. "Good girl." Megumi moans. He holds you tight and you bury your face in the crook of his neck.

For quite a long time you both are just trying to catch your breath, entwined in each others arms. The truck’s windows are steamed-up and only the shallow light of the moon falling through the windshield makes it possible for you to see anything at all.

"You’re something else." Megumi whispers after a while, his soft cock gliding out of your sticky cunt and his hot breath hitting your skin. He quickly pulls up his pants and pulls down your dress before he pulls you back into his lap, your body trembling under his touch. 

"I missed you." he says and you feel so exhausted that you can only nestle into his chest, listen to his heartbeat and close your eyes, while he strokes your back gently. 

"Let me stay the night. I’ll get you home." he whispers and plants a kiss on top of your hair. 

"Not if you’ll leave me again." Your voice sounded so delicate and fragile, he had to pause and swallow before he could answer.

"I won’t." he says quietly. 

"Please don’t leave me again." you repeat yourself and you feel a single tear forming in the corner of your eye that gets wiped away by Megumi’s hand caressing your cheek. 

"I promise." You look up at him and he pulls you into a deep kiss. "I love you." you say quietly.

He doesn’t say anything.

"I still love you." You feel so vulnerable, it’s almost making you sick. "I don’t care about us fighting or fucking or obsessing over each other - deep down I know that I’m only capable of loving you."

"You’re the only one I want." You add in a low voice.

"I know." You hear Megumi’s muffled voice, his face is buried in your hair.

If only he could see the damage he did to you. How dependent you were, how much he was hurting you. 

If only you could see how much you were pouring oil on his fire, how obsessed you were with him. 

There was no happy end for the both of you and deep down you knew that.

[angsty-twihardxx]

YOU ARE THE REASON | 3 | T. MILLER

Summary: Happily moved into Jackson with your love.

Warning: As always my fics are generally 18+ cuz swears and also mentions of bullet wounds and tommy being sad :( besides that its super fluffy enjoy <3

Tommy Miller x fem!reader

A/N: I loved writing this and I'm overwhelmed with the love I recieved for it. Lemme know plz if you would like another fic about our sexy texan man. ILY <3

6 MONTHS LATER

Winter was at the end of its cycle, the snow on the ground slowly began to melt away. What was left of it crunched under your boots as you walked along the street. Small yellow beams from the  string lights guided your way up the hill where your home sat. The colours of Jackson still took you by surprise, being used to the military grey you had surrounded yourself with for nearly twenty years. 

You had finished in the garden for the day, taking home with you a few extra vegetables for your own dinner. Since moving to Jackson you had taken up a few little jobs, you loved how effortless it was. No soldiers breathing down your neck, no life or death stakes, just watering plants and turning soil. Of course you did work at the town’s clinic, you helped out a bit here and there. Being one of very few qualified doctors in the compound, so you didn’t mind. 

The sky was filled with pinks and oranges as the sun was getting ready to set for the day, it was your favourite time. Mainly because it was around the time that patrol finished, which meant that Tommy came home. It was like before, when your life was normal. The two of you would leave in the morning to go to work, then come home to each other at the end of the day. 

Reaching the home; the wooden boards of the porch creaked under each step. You kicked the snow off of your boots, shedding off the layers as the warmth of your home engulfed you. Never in years have you had a fireplace, it was something that you never realised that you took for granted. This was the first winter that you didn’t spend completely freezing. You even had a whole bed, not just a mattress on the floor, an actual bed. In fact it quite reminded you of your own home the two of you had before, warm yellow sheets reminded you of the ones you bought for your first home. The ones Tommy said looked like cheese. 

You were quite sore from working all day, so you opted to have your cup of coffee outside on the porch. Wrapping a blanket over yourself you bundled up on the old worn out sofa you placed on the porch. A content sigh left your mouth, the hot liquid warming you up from the inside. 

From your porch you could see the main street, you watched silently all the people that were going in and out of the Tipsy Bison, sure enough going for some food and drinks. You heard that Maria was on bar duty today, so you knew the food would be good. 

Outside the cinema were kids running and throwing snowballs at one another. You smiled as you heard their delighted screams all the way from here. It was part of the promise that Tommy made to you. 

You kept your eyes on the gate, on the wall furthest away from your home. It was like this every afternoon, waiting patiently for Tommy to come home. This was one thing that was the same as living in the quarantine zone, the anxiety as you waited, whether or not he would come through the gate. Because although unlikely, you couldn’t imagine what you would do if something happened to him. 

Birds screech as they soar into the sky, the gate they were perching on suddenly shuddered open. Everyone rode in on their horses and gathered at the stables, your eyes falling on the familiar dark mop of hair. Your heart settled knowing that he was home. 

You wondered how he managed, after the incident in the hospital. The two of you tried not to bring it up anymore, you knew it was very hard for Tommy to talk about. You knew that he would have nightmares about it, being awake as well you would him gasp himself awake, then his hands would search for you in the dark. Once he successfully latched himself into you he would go back to sleep. Or the mornings that you decided to get up before him to get an early start to the day, he would walk down the stairs in a panic. For a brief moment, you recognised the frightened look in his eyes that would disappear the second he found you. 

You didn’t remember much about what happened, Joel told you some parts.  When you were all still in Boston and Tommy would finally sleep. He would stay up and answer whatever questions you had.

All you remembered before you passed out was Tommy’s fear-struck face and his glassy eyes looking down at you. It definitely was a memory you wished you could forget. The sound of his cries as you started to feel your eyelids get heavy. It would be those visions and sounds that kept you up at night, waking you up from your dreams in a cold sweat. 

You woke up a couple days later, in a smaller hospital on the other side of Boston. One that had not yet been attacked by Fireflies, removing the bullet that was plunged in your abdomen. The few days you were asleep felt like an eternity for Tommy, spending the entire time awake, wondering if you would wake up. For the first time in a long time he prayed, not to anyone specifically. Just promising that if you woke up, he would keep you safe, he would be a better person. Even if he felt that he didn’t deserve to be forgiven, he knew that you did. You spent the entire twenty years helping people, keeping them alive. Even if it was for fucken FEDRA, everything you did was so good. And he would do anything to have you stay with him. 

If his life depended on it, because it in fact did. 

He cried to himself thinking what he would have to do if he had to spend the rest of his future alone, it scared him more than anything. His whole life had been about you, living with you, marrying you, having a family with you and getting old with you. 

You opened your eyes for the first time after having surgery, he was sitting in a chair beside you. Not awake, but not entirely asleep, he held his heavy head in his hand. Heavy bags under his eyes and tear-stained cheeks indicated to you that he hadn’t slept, nor had he changed, wearing the same blood-stained jacket you saw him in.  You winced at the amount of blood on him. The bed creaked as you shuffled uncomfortably, the noise quickly startling the man next to you. 

Within seconds he was on his feet and by your side, his large calloused hands engulfing your cheeks. “Holy shit baby, I thought I lost you.” He breathed out, his eyes beginning to brim with tears again, his eyes scanned you quickly. You knew what he was doing, convincing himself that you were really here. 

He had been sitting alone in this room with no one to talk to but himself, his mind went to the worst possible scenarios. What if you didn’t make it? What if the surgery didn’t work? He blamed himself, he should’ve taken you away from this place sooner. He should’ve fucken known that the fireflies were going to ambush, he should’ve told you to stay home. 

“Tommy–” You breathed out in relief, unknowingly bringing him back. He had you in his arms in seconds. You hissed at the sharp pain piercing your side, Tommy dropped his arms just as quickly. His eyes moved up at yours, and there was that look again. You hadn't seen him look so scared. “Hey, I’m alright.” You declared softly, raising your hand to hold his cheeks, for a second the two of you sat on that bed. Tommy relished in your touch, your thumb grazing his stubble. Something that he thought he’d never feel again. 

“I thought you were gone.” His voice breaks as his eyes move up to connect with yours. 

The words you had ready, fell out of your mouth as he crashed his face in the crook of your neck. Which usually you would thread your fingers through his black curls, but this time his shoulders shook into your hands as you tried to soothe him. No matter how many hush whispers into his hair he continued to cry, and you let him for as long as it took. There was nothing that you could say to him that would make him feel better, he just needed to know that you were okay. 

“What if this is a sign? That we should stay in Boston.” 

“What?” Your brow furrowed in confusion, you pushed gently on his shoulders forcing him to look up at you. He looked like a broken man, you had never seen him so conflicted before. “Tommy this happened in Boston, because of the Fireflies-“

“Yeah and I couldn’t get to you, if those soldiers weren’t there then— then we probably wouldn’t be here right now.“ 

There it was, Tommy was never much the type of man to directly tell you how he was feeling. You knew how much he wanted to leave, there was absolutely no doubt about it. But now you understood why, not because he was scared of the risks. He was quite aware of them but was so willing anyway. He felt guilty, worried he won't be able to help you again. 

“Tommy.” You couldn’t stop your voice from quivering as you held him. “None of this is your fault, no one would have known this was going to happen. You know that right?” 

You sighed when you were given no response. “We’re going to Jackson Tommy.” 

Your eyes finally caught Tommy's figure, walking up the hill to your shared home along with his brother Joel. His eyes look up to meet yours, which he returns with a wide grin. Even though he had spent all day out on patrol, he was a lot more cleaned up then when you were in Boston. The access to electricity and warm water was another luxury for you guys. Here in Jackson, it was the norm. 

“Hey baby.” Tommy greeted you happily, sauntering up the stairs towards you. “Hi there cowboy.” Leaning over your seat, his lips met yours for a chaste kiss. You smiled into it, a content sigh leaving your mouth. You tilted up your chin at an attempt to deepen the kiss but to your surprise he pulled away before you had the chance. Furrowing your brow you cocked your head up at him, looking at him in confusion. 

“Put your coat on, got a surprise for ya.” 

“But I’m so warm.” You sighed, Tommy shook his head as he stood you up by the blanket you wrapped yourself in. “Sure you don’t want a shower first?” 

“Okay fine, but then you are coming with me for the surprise.” He shouted to you as he walked into the house, which was great because you bought yourself a few more extra minutes in your blanket. You figured that he was taking you somewhere in the town, Tommy explored alot more of the town before you. When the two of you arrived you were still quite sore, you spent your first few weeks simply resting and giving your body time. But now Tommy was determined to get you out and about, showing you everything that this town had to offer. 

As the two of you walked closer you noticed the warm yellow lights inside the local bar. Not that you had been in there, still slightly traumatised by the dinghy bar in Boston that was usually full of drunken soldiers looking to start something.

But this was nothing like it. You stood in the entrance completely taken aback by the amount of people. Everyone was here to celebrate with the newly married couple that had been here much longer than you and Tommy. The groom worked with him on patrols, so he introduced you to the couple. You tried to remember the first time you had been to a wedding. 

There was music, laughter and even more lights that were strung along the rafters. It was something you’d never imagine that you’d see again in your lifetime, yet here you were. You must have been standing there for a while, a hand on your arm brought your attention back to Tommy. “Y’alright?”

“Y-yeah this place is beautiful.”  You sighed happily, letting Tommy guide you to the bar where Joel and Ellie sat. “You guys hungry? Got some extra sandwiches for ya.” Ellie chimed in patting the stool next to her, which you took. 

You liked Ellie from the second you met her. She was quick-witted, funny and most importantly she was smart. And you also liked how she kept Joel in line, it felt good seeing him happy for a change. She u an easy transition into your small little family, you’d imagine that she and Sarah would’ve gotten along well. You were glad Ellie offered you the food because it took you by surprise with how good it was, definitely better than what you could get with rations in Boston. 

“Holy shit! What the fuck is that?” Ellie shouted, her arm pointing furiously outside. After regaining your composure and eating the last of the sandwich you nearly choked on, you looked past her pointed index finger to where there children were playing with some sparklers. “Y’never seen sparklers before?” Joel asked her, mid chew. 

“Fuck no dude!” She looked back at you with excitement plastered over her face. You absolutely adored how easily excited she was over what you would consider normal. Although in this instance you didn’t blame her, you don’t think you’ve seen these in years. “How about you finish your food, and we’ll go get you some.” 

And you did, because you never break a promise. Tommy leaned against the wall outside as you watched Ellie proudly, holding her hand with the sparkler and writing her name out with the bright yellow ember. He loved how patient you were with her when she dropped the first sparkler you gave her, scared of the yellow sparks. So you waited a moment for her to get her composure back and you tried again. 

A part of him felt crushed with the fact that he never gave you any children. But to be fair neither of you felt it would be right to bring a child into this world. But maybe in Jackson, after all that was why you came here. For a better future. 

“What’re the big heart eyes for lover boy?” You leaned into him, bringing him out of his trance. “Just admiring’ ya is all.” You scoffed at him playfully, the fact that he could still make you blush after all this time. With a content sigh, you dropped your head onto his shoulder. His arm wrapped around you, your eyes watched over the now dark sky. The string lights doing nowhere as much damage as the bright lights that would be on everynight in the QZ, the stars shining as bright as you remembered it. 

Ellie had joined the rest of the children that were playing on the street, you didn’t think you would get used to hearing their cheerful screams. You were glad that you decided to bite the bullet and push down those insecurities and do this with him. Especially now, you don’t think that you could live without this. You were content and you were grateful. 

“This place is pretty perfect Tommy.”