#well. either that's part of it and a convenient external thing to blame

[supercantaloupe]

it occurs to me that it's possible the reason my course work load feels so unreasonable might be in part due to the fact that im a full time enrolled student in a program that i suspect is dominated by and therefore catered to part time students

[life-rewritten]

Saying Goodbye to Flower of Evil

So it's finally here, time to say goodbye to my favourite kdrama so far of 2020. This is my post to say goodbye and also go back on all the positives and negatives of the show. It's been a long, beautiful and heartfelt journey. This show means a lot to me, and I had so much fun analysing it, every single week. Let’s start the review:

Ratings: Plot: 8.5/10 Directing: 8.5/10 Acting: 8.5/10 Satisfaction: 8/10 Overall: A Rewatch factor: 7/10

Opinions and Criticisms 

What can I say about this show that hasn't already been mentioned and discussed? What an amazing show. At the end of it all, Flower of Evil is a love story to the core, it focuses on the marriage between our main characters, and we the audience end up invested in watching the layers and truth of the marriage unfold, the psychological circumstances and the  external circumstances that lead us to the factors that will end up either breaking the marriage into pieces or end up bringing an opportunity for healing and unconditional love. 

Characterisation

This show in my opinion subverted  character tropes, in the first episode we're left feeling confused about who to root for;  Do Hyun So starts of a scary personality but we start to see him break down and we understand that we didn't have all the information about him. In the first episode we feel the exact worry and fear Ji Won also ends up feeling as  she slowly uncovers her husband is not who he claims to be. But we also like her start to look deeper for clues to help find the real truth about the psyche of Hyun So. 

We're introduced to characters at the beginning such as Moo Jin (very ableist at first, and problematic) only to see him become 3D and learn from his mistakes and show care for Hyun So and his ex love Hae So. Like with him, we also feel weary about every character when they first appear, even Hae Su who we even feel led to believe is the mystery serial killer accomplice at the start ends up being a character broken, we see how it actually affected her mind and patterns as the guilt ate her up for what happened to her brother. These are just a few of the characters the audience grapple to understand and start of mistrusting. 

Subverting Expectations

The tropes are subverted because this is a thriller, expectations are thrown out the window and changed, when one of our main cops find out about Hyun So's real identity (the show built this up so well since we know from the beginning  that he's curious and very intuitive with cases), we expect him to take in Hyun So and be prejudiced,. It’s a surprise to see he's not , he listens and understands that Hyun So isn't what everyone thinks he is. The other cops do the same as well when Ji Won is 'held hostage' by Hyun So. They don't blame her immediately as an accomplice and only worry about her safety. The cops end up becoming like a found family, the warmth, loyalty and trust with everyone including the chief was shocking to see, and yet the show made us hang on edge for a while to see these characters stories unfold. Yes they're more 2dimensional than 3D but they are important to the story and end up being characters we love and enjoy on screen. 

 I don't have anything bad to say about this show, I even enjoyed the reveal of the villain, Baek Hee Sung, his storyline whilst seemingly making him a very straight forward psychopath, the subtext of the show suggested even more dimensionality and depth to understanding his family's psyche, circumstances and reasonings for why they aided him. He's also a brilliant foil to Do Hyun So who was using his identity without knowing he's the real accomplice we were waiting for. The actors do such a good job in this show, the main couple have great emotional ranges needed to carry the painful, hurtful, alarming scenes. Props to my two favorites, Lee Joon Gi as Do Hyun So was such a perfect casting choice for this show and Kim Ji Hoon as a villain was so delicious to watch, he made me scream and squeal a couple of times. Both so addicting and entrancing to watch on screen. 

Lacklustre writing for Females

Eunha

As much as I am satisfied with the ending I do feel there are parts that a bit lack luster. The use of the daughter in the story of Do Hyun So regaining his memories and choosing to accept Ji Won yet again could have been used more, in fact I thought she was going to run away or do something defiant causing Hyun So to panic and realise he does have feelings and care. (I thought that was what they were building up to when they showed the food in the fridge he kept buying for her without knowing why) But she's pushed to the side, and almost forgotten about until we get a reunion. Eun Ha was such an interesting character to look into and I would have loved more depth and use in the storyline especially when she's connected the most to the humanity of Hyun So. Instead we got the diary scene and the title of the metal workshop being connected to Ji Won and his love for her all along. Don't get me wrong the romance was the basis of the show, so it makes sense we end with it being the most focused part on the conclusion of the show, I just wanted more Eunha. 

Do Hae Su

As much as I enjoyed the characters in the show, I felt the female characters apart from Cha Ji Won were written to be very stupid, emotional or just an obstacle to their male counterparts. This irked me for a while, Hae Su's best part is when she sacrifices her life for Hyun So but before that she acts rashly and keeps on doing things that no one wants her to, I almost face palmed when she went straight to the director after finding out someone in his hospital is the accomplice. Like it's not hard to put two and two together. I enjoyed her as a character but did feel like she was underused more than her male counterpart Moo Jin. I'm glad we get her resolution and she survived

Director’s wife/ Unmother

The director's wife/Baek Hee Sung mother shows potential of being a character with depth and aims, but she also becomes sidelined once her son wakes up, her struggles in her psyche for her new fake son and grand daughter vs her guilt of hurting her real son, was a really good dynamic to explore, but she ends up becoming weak and panicking and being taught by both her male counterparts her son and husband. She just ends up being in the background and seen as the less smart, cunning and clever one compared to them. Didn't really like that, I thought she would be part of the downfall of our villain but she just ends up wasted instead. 

The maid of the Baek’s

Don't get me started about her maid, another female character who is fridged on the show, I thought she was written so stupid towards the end for the convenience of the plot, and I hated that she reacted the way she did knowing the truth she knew. Her outburst and blackmail tactics just felt so out of the blue, it annoyed me to no end. I wish she had a reason that was hinted throughout the show, quotes or scenes that hinted she would betray them for money, more depth shown with her relationship with her and the wife, but no she just reacted out of bounds and got murdered. It was just a bit blase. 

However I'm not saying this show did not also have powerful women characters, well character, Ji Won was smart, cunning and I enjoyed watching her actions after she discovered who her husband was. But for me I would have preferred more females written the same way she was that's all. 

The final moments

I did enjoy the message of the show, especially when looking at what made our characters become/ turn into percieved psychopaths, the connection of Do Min Seok with both Baek Hee Sung and Do Hyun So was interesting to look at, and the way the world treated Hyun So because of his disorder was also painful but written well in the show. One of my favorite scenes in this show, is episode 15, (i wished the show's ending was episode 15, it would have left a haunting effect on the audience but i like happy endings too), when Hyun So proclaims he sees dead people so he can't believe Ji Won is alive. It was a brilliant build up as the ghost of Do Min Seok had been all along a foreshadowing device for this moment, immediately he said that it shocked me and made me realise what the writers planned all along. It was always right there in front of us that this will be an issue, and they used it so well for episode 15.  One of my favourite moments so far in kdramas of 2020. 

The message of the show is simple don't judge someone based on their mental disorder, they're just like everyone else if given the right opportunity to feel, and be treated like normal people. 

Analysis and Devices used

Onto the devices used for analysing this show:

The themes

I enjoyed the topic of Psychopathy, Trauma and Mental Health that was relayed through out the show, what makes a psychopath a psychopath nature vs nurture. I enjoyed how each character's needs and wants is revealed to us subverting tropes and keeping the audience questioning the reasonings and truths of each of them.

The parallels

I also liked the directing parallels when they show both Hyun So and Cha Ji Won doing different things but it connected to the actual plot/storyline of the show for example him uncovering who his dad worked with to get raw materials, and she also uncovering a fake employment scheme with the someone connected to the same person who Hyun So is meeting. They do this all the time, and it's a great way to make the audience feel on edge and worried that soon both her and Hyun So's path will have to meet and she will have to confront him on the truth of their marriage. 

The Foreshadowing

There's heavy use of symbolic foreshadowing, dramatic irony and  withholding of information all used to keep the audience on their toes with bated breaths. The genre was part thriller, so each cliff hanger was deviced well enough to show case some realisations (some painful and horrifying) and also used to make the audience go back on their own expectations and wait to see the story unfold. At first the show starts of like a murder detective show, and I liked how each of the murderers/crimes were connected to unveiling the truth about Hyun So and his father.

Some foreshadowing devices I enjoyed is when Ji Won's identity card gets smashed and handed to Hae Su, at first we don't understand why there was such a scene but it uncovers and we find the horrifying conclusion that Hae Su will get stabbed because the killer misunderstands her to be Ji Won. Each of the devices used end up coming full circle in the plot to keep the audience on edge or hurt and broken at the realisation of what it meant. I look foward to watching another show with this writer and director again.

In Conclusion

This Kdrama surpassed my expectations and even beat my predecessor Psycho but it's okay as my favourite shows. While I did have some issues with parts of it, even with those issues I was left emotionally invested in this show, the characters, the story unfolding. I enjoyed every little thing in this show, I ended up being so effected I cried many times. As a writer, it taught me how to write a good love story, a couple against the world, and how to keep an audience invested. 

[thanatosbananatos]

What in the heckin' heck is Hanji's backstory? -- A Meta

At this rate, Yams is never going to tell us.

I guess it may not be all that important to the story, but then again, knowing his writing style, he really enjoys leaving mysteries, and it won't surprise me in the slightest if this series ends with a lot of the mysteries being unsolved.  Hanji's backstory will likely be one of them.

As a disclaimer, I use she/her pronouns for Hanji, but Isayama specifically has stated that Hanji's gender is irrelevant, so please feel free to use whatever pronouns you'd like. If Hanji was real, I don't think she'd care, either...

Anyway, I want to start this meta laying out the facts we already know about Hanji BEFORE the year 845.

--Hanji had joined the Corps for ??? reason, and had a thirst to kill the Titans mercilessly, just like Eren at the start of the story.  She was “fueled by insecurity and hate.”  However, she kicked a Titan's head and was fascinated by how light it was, which began her obsession with the Titans from a scientific standpoint.

--Hanji does not bathe regularly and doesn't care about hygiene.  Apparently Levi has to knock her out to get her to bathe.

--Hanji doesn't care about gender.  Or at least, Isayama said it doesn't matter to the story.  In a very early interview, he stated that Hanji was female but had moments of masculinity, which means she's gender-fluid or nonbinary.

--Hanji was in the Corps before Levi, Isabel, and Farlan joined.

--Hanji has known Erwin, Mike, and others for a little while--it's a quick little thing, but in episode one of season one, Hanji is shown to be in the same squad as Erwin when Shardis was the Commander.

--Hanji has anger issues.  Isayama has stated that she is the scariest character when angered, and is also a different person with and without her glasses/goggles.

Aaaaand that's it.

Thanks, Yams.

Well, if the Wings of Counterattack game is to be believed, Hanji was also a super cute kid who was always kind of androgynous and messy-haired and had bad vision. Super cute.  I love.

But that's really it.  Hanji didn't even get a character song, despite Romi Park having the singing voice of a fallen angel that's going to drag me straight into hell where there are hot jazz musicians and Satan serves us all whiskey on the rocks.  Did y'all know she released a jazz/pop album?  It's fire and you can't stop me from thinking about Hanji being able to sing like that.

...I'm getting off track.

ANYWAY.

Compared to many other recurring characters in the series, Hanji has a very limited amount of backstory.  She's never even drawn as younger, even in the panel we get of her kicking the Titan's head--if you recall, it's just a dark scribble with a scary-looking grin.

That being said, Isayama has indeed been dropping bread crumbs here and there with clues throughout the series that can lead us to a conclusion about Hanji's past.

Where was Hanji born and raised?

I think it's fair to say that Hanji was not raised with wealth.

It's hard to draw conclusions about her exact family, but considering her being totally chill with not bathing for weeks and being a little bit of a...gremlin, she probably grew up somewhere in Maria, or in the slums of someplace in Rose. However, I tend to lean more toward Maria.  

For me, it's not really an issue of just her hygiene--it's also her social skills.  Again, we know ZILCH about her parents/guardians, so they could have been weirdos, but I think also that Hanji just didn't have the proper upbringing to gain boundaries like normal people.  She gets up in people's faces, she can be very physical/grabby, and she can be argumentative and stubborn to a fault.  I think it's fair to sometimes call her actions childish, though some of them also are symptoms of something like ADHD.

I want to argue, however, that she is just eccentric.  I think it's part of who she is and was raised to be--or perhaps it's from a lack of attention.  

She also just doesn't care about a lot of things that people raised in high-status upbringings would care about.  She literally throws on her uniform jacket over her pajamas when called out to see Pastor Nick's death scene.  Showering/bathing every day is not a priority,but it's also not something that bothers her.  For instance, I'm incredibly busy, but I shower every day because anxiety dictates it to be so, but I also just enjoy being clean.  Hanji is super busy and could make time to shower/bathe more than she doesn't, but she doesn't see it as a priority and never once is it mentioned that she pays any mind to it.  

Regarding her gender, I wonder if she was an only child.  It's possible that there were expectations put on her to be more of a “lady,” but she was much more concerned with studying and learning.  

That's just speculation, of course.  Some people just are the way that they are.

However, I think she was an only child for a couple of other reasons, too.

First, I think that economically, if she did grow up in Maria, one child was all that her parents could afford. There are also just not a lot of people in the walled world with siblings; it's just not very convenient to add to an already-starving population, I suppose.  

But also, I think her love for studying might be connected to this.  I know that, as a kid growing up with older brothers MUCH older than me and not a lot of friends, I loved to read to the point that I owned my own encyclopedias and actually read them. A lot of kids who grow up lonely/isolated tend to do the same.  

Especially if she was already such an extroverted kid, I think she'd need the stimulation.

Why did Hanji hate the Titans?

It's possible to think about this from a couple of different angles, but there's one that I prefer over the other.

First, we could consider that Hanji perhaps lost someone she cared about to the Titans.  Maybe her parents joined the military and were killed.  Maybe her sibling, or aunt or uncle, or grandparents.  

Second, we could consider that she valued freedom and independence, and that she considered the Titans to be something that stood in the way of that.

Personally, I think the second one is more likely.  Of course, it's possible that both happened!  We really don't know.  

However, I lean toward the second option because of Hanji's personality, and the little we know about her when she joined the Corps.  She was a bit unhinged (as all interesting characters are), and she was very violent.  This tends to be a characteristic of people who are forced to keep everything in for a long amount of time.

In psychology, there are two categories of people:  externalizers and internalizers.  For instance, if a child endures trauma, and their reaction is to lash out violently (physically or verbally), or to become selfish and attention-seeking, that is considered externalizing.  On the other hand, if the child endures the trauma and then keeps it locked up, considers the abuser to be the “real” victim, learns self-blame, etc., then that is internalizing.  

For instance, Erwin is probably an internalizer, when we take into account his father's death and the trauma he endured because of it.  Armin is also an internalizer.

Hanji, however, is probably an externalizer.  She shows a lot of the signs of someone who has perhaps undergone something traumatic/repeated traumatic events and has lashed out as a sign of “dealing with it.”  It's a sign of emotional immaturity, so it makes sense that that's what Hanji was doing as a young'n.  She's also quite empathetic, which could add fuel to any flames, and she's also proven to be a skilled manipulator.

What was the trauma?  I think it was the feeling of isolation.

One thing that really is evident to me is how goddamned EXTROVERTED Hanji is.  If we have the scale E to I, Hanji is probably one of the farthest if not THE farthest over on the E side of ALL of the characters in this story.  She likes to talk, she verbalizes everything, she enjoys people, and she clearly gains energy from social situations.

I have a feeling that Hanji has always been a bright kid, and that perhaps she was understimulated as a result of growing up not only in a poor community, but being surrounded by this big-ass walls and constantly being told, “No, you can't go outside.  You'll be eaten alive by Titans.”

She would very naturally turn into this teenager/young adult with a thirst for absolutely destroying the things that kept her locked up in the first place.

Again, I think either situation is likely, but I have the feeling that it goes deeper than just getting revenge for someone's death. Something tells me that Hanji has been looking for answers to deep questions for a long time.

So, Hanji joins the military.  Then what?

Well, from the hints that Yams has dropped, Hanji met Erwin, Mike, Nile, and perhaps others at some point.  I don't think that Hanji was in the same class as them, save for maybe Moblit, but I think she probably knew them. This part is a bit hazy, considering that we don't know what age Erwin and company were when they joined the military.  Mike is canonically older than them all, pushing 40 years old (like a fine wine) at around 850.  Erwin is supposedly in his late 30's, and I believe even Levi is older than Hanji, which would put her around 30 at in the year 850.  

Now, if we think about when Levi entered the Survey Corps, which I believe was in the year 846...

Hanji was not a new recruit that year, and she already seemed to have a pretty close friendship with Moblit.  She was also more emotionally mature.

In other words, Hanji had probably already kicked the head of that Titan by the time Maria fell.

That means, it had to have been before Shiganshina/Maria fell that she had a change of heart.  

During all of this, Mike and Erwin were also in the Corps, and they probably witnessed this change.

However, despite it being explicitly mentioned in the manga, this is the hardest part to flesh out about Hanji's backstory.

We at least know the details of her becoming a Squad Leader specifically focused on the science of Titans, thanks to the OVA for Ilse's Journal.  It was thanks to her curiosity, emotional maturity, and a bit of dumb luck that it happened.  

But before this, we don't know much else about her time in the military, and it's hard to discern anything without knowing details about the others, too.  

I know that there are snippets of details in smartpasses (is that what they're called?) that reveal that she, Mike, and Erwin were friends, etc., but that really doesn't give us much to go on. Much of it, unfortunately, remains a mystery.

However, there is one last thing I want to point out:

In the first episode of season two, after Hanji lets Nick down instead of yeeting him off of the wall, she mentions “I haven't felt this way since I first went outside of the walls.  Talk about scary.”

There are many people who interpret this line as her fear of the Titans, but I think it's fear of her own anger.  She was ready to brutally kill someone who could have otherwise provided valuable information, just because of her pure rage.  

I think this moment, along with a couple of others (kicking down the table and saying “it was a roach,” for instance), drive home some of the assumptions from earlier in this meta.  Consider the torture scene and her actions compared to Levi's.  Levi grew up in an environment where violence was used as a form of communication.  You don't see him saying a lot as he punches Sannes over and over.  He doesn't stick around to talk to the men once they're returned to their jail cells.  

Hanji is, however, a bit too eager to rip the nails and teeth out of this guy (partially as revenge for Pastor Nick's death, I'm certain).  She rips into them verbally as well, as they sit defeated in their jail cell.  Her anger is a terrifying force.

So what's the point?

Well, there's not really one.

I just would like to know more about one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

Is it important to the story?  Well, not necessarily.

But what if this backstory is more than I wrote here?  What if it's something quite wild or disturbing?  What if it digs further into the fundamentals of humanity?  Was she abused?  Was she bullied?  Is she just psychologically disturbed?  

Like I said, we may never know, and at this point (2019/09), the series seems to be coming to an end.

I personally think it's really too bad.  The story is a character-driven one, so to leave so much mystery around Hanji's past is very curious.  Hanji tends to get shoved to the side a lot (though not as much as some other MCs), so it’s pretty frustrating to see that even the creator isn’t divulging more information...

Then again, I guess it does make writing fics easier, right...?

[alexsmitposts]

Lebanon: Colonial Thieves & Conflicting Networks of Patronage I am trying to think how best to write about Lebanon, about the BIGGER picture and the complicated political situation and structure there. It goes beyond the Beirut port bombing or the source of the fertiliser, well beyond the recriminations, and what is actually being reported in the news as well. This is a topic we have covered earlier in NEO, even before Lebanon was so newsworthy. But as with everything, the first rule of a journalist is to not to believe in coincidences. Blast from the Past Let’s just assume readers know all about the current situation, the corruption, the banking mafias and the humanitarian crisis on the horizon. Lebanon is a country collapsing, crashing and burning, and its banking system with it. The country is about to hit rock bottom—at least in the opinion of most pundits. As mentioned in previous NEO articles, the lack of a government isn’t going to get foreign troops out of Lebanon, or stabilise its currency and persuade its neighbours to respect its position. Nor is it going to keep it out of the shadows of Israel and Syria. But having a new government which isn’t backed, or at least tolerated, by public consensus won’t bring about immediate change; it won’t be the magic cure. On the contrary, it will for sure raise new issues, create new groups willing to be bought off and create greater instability, simply because it is easier to fight an enemy you know. Changing the political-sectoral structure of the government, an ongoing issue in Lebanon, isn’t going to prove a panacea for all either – not because no solution would satisfy the Lebanese, but because the very existence of its government system doesn’t satisfy everyone else. But what comes next? At the heart of this system lies a social compact which connects individuals to political leaders based on sectarian identity — Maronite Christian, Sunni Muslim, Shia Muslim, Druze, to name a few of the country’s 18 different religious sects. Each knows its place, and is closely linked to various networks of political and financial patronage—and these have existed from generation to generation. In layman’s terms, if a whole new order is put in place in Lebanon – based on liberal, deliberative politics, not doling out privileges to various religious and ethnic groupings, and with well-delineated representative electoral boundaries drawn up following the first census the country will have seen in decades – most of the confessional groups will most likely lose out, or persuade their supporters they will. The sectorial elites are very entrenched, and run their own self-sustaining networks of patronage, so it isn’t hard to predict how they will react. If something the West recognises as “liberal democracy” is introduced in Lebanon, the elites’ spheres of influence will contract, and their interests will have to come second to those of the locals. At least, that is the theory – as ever, Westerners are unable to understand that “liberal democracy” is itself a sect, run by a particular segment of the population, holding certain approved views, which sustains itself by even more extensive networks of patronage. The elites and the locals are not two separate groups in Lebanon. All the various groups and elites are in some sense local, the outcomes of waves of past immigration and a system which, though antiquated, was questioned far more by outsiders than it ever was by Lebanese, whose only argument is who should have which slices of the cake, and for what reason. The Maronites claim to be the “original” Lebanese, descendants of the Phoenicians. But their claim to being the real Lebanese is no more or less valid than those of the Sunni or Shia populations, or the Druze, or even the Armenians who have a clear, century-long presence in the country—ever since the Armenian genocide at the hands of the Ottomans. This is why nationals outside the country simply call themselves Lebanese – they identify more with Lebanon than with the ethnic groups and associated states everyone else tells them they belong to. In the nineteenth century it was often said that the differences between the dominant political parties lay in which gentleman’s clubs their members belonged to, rather than in their ideologies. The differences between Lebanese lie in which networks of patronage they can access, not their religious or ethnic identity. Lebanon has never been a nation-state or national state, so all groups have a more or less equal participation in its identity. No one group can claim that it is the true local population, and the rest are minorities. Everyone is a minority, and it is only the much more recent Palestinian and Syrian immigrants and refugees who might remain out of the social and legal framework, even though they largely migrated there to find one. Trying to upset the delicate balance of interests which holds the country together, when outsiders allow it to, will certainly lead to a great deal of acrimony from almost anyone who has enjoyed any degree of power over the past seventy years and more, who won’t want to give up any privileges and share things with Johnny come lately “newcomers”. As we have learned from too many other fledgling states or flickering beacons of democracy, be careful for what you wish for. Change for its own sake is not always for the better, especially in complicated parts of the world. This has been a lesson learned in the wake of the so-called Arab Springs. High Wire Act Perhaps the best starting point is to assume that the present Lebanese government is a high-wire act. By any measures it should have failed long ago, even before it resigned, as it represents too many competing and diametrically opposed interests, sects and political agendas, pieced together into a government out of sheer desperation amidst almost impossible political realities. Corruption is endemic, as to a cat who likes to climb trees and claw things. Much of the problem has to do with the fact that Lebanon is deeply rooted in its old colonial past, and its former masters, powers such as France and Turkey, are completing for a place at the table in a bid to retain their historic influence. When Lebanon was the Las Vegas of the Middle East, wealthy and attractive, these powers tried to exert this influence in a much more covert way, not wanting to interfere with the operation of a gravy train. Now those days have gone, they are setting themselves up as the solution to the problems they themselves created by refusing to accept a Lebanese system they were incapable of emulating. From 1920 until its independence in 1943, Lebanon was under French colonial rule, while before that the Ottomans ruled for four centuries. This is why it was predictable that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has accused his French counterpart Emmanuel Macron of “colonial” aims in Lebanon, and called his recent visit to Beirut a “spectacle”, amid growing tensions between Ankara and Paris. The meddling from outsiders has made Lebanon a modern-day Casablanca, full of cross-sections of intrigues. Not only France and Turkey but the US and Israel see it as the beachhead for influencing regional affairs, as if things are not already complicated enough with Iran, Saudi Arabia and Syria engaged in an ongoing proxy war within Lebanon’s internal politics. No one wants them there, but if the state isn’t strong enough to protect particular groups of locals from people sponsored by the other side, they have little choice but to put up with the “protection” of people they do not actually regard as representing their interests. Macron and Erdogan have enough problems at home, but prefer meddling in an area that is already a tinderbox, so they can blame the other, and therefore by extension all it represents in their respective countries. All this is contributing to a perfect storm which will leave Lebanon a failed state amongst failed states. What will actually have happened is that everyone else has failed because Lebanon is intrinsically sounder than they are, but it is the Lebanese who will be expected to pick up the pieces. Shallow-minded State While France and Turkey are making worrying bids for renewed influence, the US is trying to call the game from a distance. US motivations are simpler, and easier to understand – the US answer is always, “I blame Iran for the problems in Lebanon,” with a few soundbites about Hezbollah to boot. As ever, this line has everything to do with the US, and nothing whatever to do with Lebanon or the reality of life there. IRAN-Hezbollah is a label of convenience for State Department types and the John Boltons and Mike Mike Pompeos of this world, i.e., the proverbial “shallow-minded state”.It is really interesting to listen to State Department briefings and read press releases. What they don’t say is most revealing, like Pompeo’s statement in the aftermath of the only too convenient fertilizer explosion at the Port of Beirut: “I want to extend our deepest condolences to all those who were affected by the massive explosion at the port of Beirut yesterday. We stand ready to assist the Government of Lebanon – as it grapples with this horrible tragedy. You’ll see the United States announce a number of things we intend to do to assist the people of Lebanon in the coming days.” Such as what? Everything has strings attached, especially when it concerns providing aid to a country during a humanitarian crisis. We only have to look at the developmental model imposed on any country, the USAID Missions and IFO, IMF and World Bank advisers, designed with no other purpose but to ensure the US takes control “lock, stock and barrel”. Let’s hope that a new model evolves (not a feeding frenzy), and one not based on externally imposed structural adjustment policies or economic shock treatment, as if the economy hasn’t been shocked enough. It should be more needs driven, and must not identify the locals as the problem, particularly when you are expecting those locals to vote the way you want them to when your new system is in place. Baking a new cake will require time, and enough time must be afforded for the evolving protest movement and other independent figures to politically organise. Early elections will result in the same sectarian elite getting elected, but then not being allowed to operate, so Lebanon will again be lumbered with the worst of both worlds. To go back and see where it all began, one only needs to check out the secret 1916 Sykes Picot agreement between England and France about slicing up what would be left of the Ottoman Empire after World War One. It would be naïve to think that anyone can get a grasp of what is going on now without understanding the historic intrigues. The Bolsheviks found a copy of the Sykes-Picot agreement when they seized power, and had the audacity to publish it. Lenin called it “the agreement of colonial thieves”. This might also be an appropriate title for what may come in the wake of the resignation of the most recent Lebanese government, and any conditions imposed by the West or the IMF on Lebanon in exchange for a financial lifeline.

[nxelethe]

Has anyone wondered how Cradle is governed?

Now, you’ve got to bear with me here, I haven’t played all the routes so maybe we get more information later, but seriously, how the fuck is this place governed?

Probably the first issue is that Cradle is a single country, but divided into distinct zones based on military presence and the demilitarised Central Quarter. The entire premise of the game hinges on the concept of imminent war between the Red and Black Armies, that’s fine. Neither side however is fighting for independence, so the concept of Cradle attempting split based on something like distinct state ethnicity seems out of the question. Everyone seems fairly comfortable with being a Cradle citizen. Although people living in red and black territories seem to support the corresponding army, I believe it would be a stretch to call the different parts of Cradle separate states.

Adding to this motivational confusion, what are the motives of the Red and Black Armies? Red’s ambitions are made clear from the very beginning—absorb the Black Army and rule over Cradle. However, we all know this to be a ploy by the Magic Tower (we’ll get onto this in a moment) and after Amon is defeated, both armies continue to coexist with their territories intact. This has been the case for centuries apparently. The Black Army itself displays no ambition beyond securing their existence; they don’t intend to absorb the Red army, rule Cradle, or anything of the sort.

So, who runs this country? The naming system is obviously based on playing cards, but you can’t get away from the connotations that titles such as ‘King’ or ‘Queen’ entail, and through various events we’ve seen that the people of cradle turn to these armies for leadership—especially Lancelot (who, given that he inherits the title, would be most reminiscent of a King in the sense that Alice and we are familiar with). 

Typically, a country will have a military force, but in order for this to work and for the force to exist, they most be funded by a government to tackle domestic and foreign concerns of said government—in most cases. Cradle’s hypothetical government, should be officially funding a military force, though that by  no means excludes the possibility of a legitimate paramilitary force. Yet, Cradle’s government, the Cradle state, or anything of the sort, plays no role in its military actions. Even if the two armies were engaged in a civil war for Cradle’s governance (which the game loosely claims that they are) then the government would be expected to support one of the two armies. These armies wage war on the whims of their lead commanders, no government influence as far as the eye can see.

So what is Cradle doesn’t have a government?

OK, that’s a bit unfair; what if Cradle has a government but it’s not distinguishable, or indeed different, to the armies? With all the evidence provided, Cradle seems to be ruled via military dictatorship, a khakistrocracy, if you will (it’s very rare that I get to use fun portmanteaus so I always jump at the opportunity). Even in that case, Cradle’s governance still isn’t that simple to decipher. 

Officially, there have been ‘tensions’ between the Red and Black armies, though I don’t believe them to be a prolonged ceasefire, given that the armies “declare war” in the various routes and don’t issue a ceasefire revocation. Admittedly, this is arguing technicalities, and one could similarly say that the “peace talks” that Alice interrupts when she first appears in Cradle would have been to end hostilities. I’m hesitant to approach the issue this way, because peace talks don’t NECESSARILY mean that they are terminating physical conflict and the interactions between army officers like Luka and Edgar certainly don’t seem to suggest that they are technically still at war. 

Regardless, the issue of the two armies coexisting in such a way remains. Even if Cradle is ruled via military dictatorship then the Central Quarter becomes a big issue. Officially demilitarised and not allied with either army, the Central Quarter also houses the majority of the businesses in Cradle—businesses which, even back in the 19th century, would have faced some legal restrictions or at the very least recognition allowing them to exist. What power is doing this? 

It can be neither the Red nor the Black army as they have no influence over the area, so who governs the Central Quarter? It has no police force, we’ve seen the armies leap in to protect citizens numerous times without external aid and it isn’t presented as a problem or violation of a demilitarisation agreement.

Enter, the Magic Tower; a civic agency and possibly the key to the entire issue.

The Magic Tower, the Big Bad of the game, has clear intentions and those are to rule Cradle through the Red army, which would at least make this question easier to answer. If this were to occur, the government would be a military dictatorship, albeit controlled by a shadow agency before eventually being overtly controlled by Amon (I would assume) leading us to a personalist dictatorship.

Where the Magic Tower truly helps in answering this question is in its nature—a civic agency. Civic agencies can be assembled by groups of individuals looking to perform a specific task for the benefit of society and don’t necessarily require the existence of governments. They are merely characterised by the ability of citizens to work collaboratively to solve common societal issues. Do they exist in areas with governments in reality? Yes. Could they exist independent of said government? Unlikely, but possible in theory.

Cradle is a small country, we’re told this from the very beginning of the game, so what if it actually doesn’t have a government?

It’s almost certain that Cradle had a centralised government once, more specifically, whilst the Red and Black armies were actually one and the same. My memory is sfoggy, I believe it was orginally a monarchy? I can’t remember, whatever the case though, it is extremely likely that Cradle was governed by SOMETHING at this point in time. 

Even in our reality, countries existing without governments isn’t completely unheard of, though it is almost always well-established countries with stable economics that can trundle on without heads of state or governments. If Cradle was a relatively stable state at the time, then it is not entirely beyond the realm of possibility that Cradle could be in such a lovely stable state without a government. 

We could even entertain the notion that various civic organisations assumed control of the essentials for the state’s continued function. Obviously, it’s not foolproof (*cough* Magic Tower *cough*) but theoretically it could function. 

This would typically be where I call it a day and tell you that I think that Cradle is maybe a weird example of Mutualism or Collective Anarchism, except for a teeny tiny problem, or should I say two teeny tiny problems.

The Red Army would certainly be one, but really that just brings us to the broader issue at hand: the aristocracy.

Anarchism is fundamentally the rejection of unjust hierarchies so the Red Army’s arbitrary and hereditary hierarchy is basically entirely contrary to the very ideology I’m trying to marry it to. Furthermore, the mere existence of the aristocracy is basically indicative that if any anarchist systems had tried to take route they’d have fundamentally failed.

So what else is there?

I would like to propose a very oxymoronic ideology: Anarcho-capitalism.

Now I will go ahead and do the work for you here, this is also not the case because it’s shown to actually work, which is honestly the last thing anyone believes anarcho-capitalism can do. I’d also like to clarify, that this ideology is hardly anarchy, but we’ll use this classification for the sake of convenience.

We clearly see the use of money in the game, classes and, most damning of all, private property. However, no government. Perhaps a better defined description, would be a state entirely driven by free market economics without state intervention. 

But, the Magic Tower is an obvious monopoly for the distribution of magic crystals, therefore clashing head-first with the concept of free market competition.

The possibility of a Night-Watchman State exists, which would also excuse the excessive military presence for such a tiny country, but this would also require the existence of a state to justify interventions by these bodies. A state which I cannot find sufficient evidence to claim exists.

So conclusion?

I haven’t a FUCKING CLUE and boy am I mad about it.

I have written a long-ass text post that my few followers are going to justifiably unfollow me for only to conclude that I have no idea how Cradle works and that Cybird didn’t give it enough thought or I would have found this slightly easier. Maybe Cradle is a nice place, so that it honestly becomes a no-brainer that Alice would want to leave the political shambles Britain, romance or no (I wouldn’t blame her).

Does anyone have any idea what could be going on? I’m borderline dying to find out at this point.

Sorry again, and thank to anyone who tolerated my nonsense until the end.

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #165

Summer shenanigans are a staple of the manga and anime work, though how much you can expect the clichés to actually happen depends on how much effort you’re willing to put into making it a reality. Fact is, summer is never as fantastical or memorable as we’d like to dream. You only get three(in Japan) high school summers in one lifetime. But as they say, it’s who you spend it with, not what, that will stick around with you. 

Chapter 165: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Enjoy My Last High School Summer Break 

Hey, if Futaki wants to be a professional gamer girl (minus the bathwater), she’s gotta stay on top of the new releases. 

Mother always knows. Always.

There’s a fine line between persuading and threatening, Katou. Just saying.

I can already see the (not totally implausible) jokes about Mako and Yoshida secretly meeting to hook up. Even though that’s 99% not what will happen, Mako’s vagueness is something to note. The way I see it, Mako doesn’t want Yuri to feel left out, so she’s downplaying the “fun” she’ll be having with Yoshida.

Or Nico Tanigawa are blatantly ship-teasing. Either or.

Nemo’s got a pretty sweet LINE avatar.

Even through her messages, Nemo is still passive-aggressive, like she expects Tomoko won’t listen to her unless she’s demanding in her tone, exclamation points and all. She still gots a way to go to meet Katou’s level of intimidation, however.

Summer school?

Oh, the beach.

The greyscale nature of the manga medium makes this beach look a lot prettier than it probably is. Those delightful memories involving washed-up stingrays sure doesn’t help. 

I’m not entirely certain just how studious Yuri is as a student, but I imagine she’s playing up the “all work, no play” angle just to free herself from Nemo.

Nemo makes a fair point. Getting too cooped up indoors where it’s comfortable can make it difficult to study, especially when you're surrounded by distractions. A change of scenery can clear your head and make it easier to retain information. 

Of course, that sort of environmental shift doesn’t work for everyone. Someone like Nemo may appreciate the summery atmosphere, but a girl like Yuri would get agitated by the heat and humidity. Having external stimuli is ideal if you’re the type who operates better when your attention is dispersed. But for those that need to be focused on a single task to complete, it can be quite difficult.

Next time on Mythbusters...

But in all seriousness, I would like to see if there have been any real-life studies on certain sounds–waves in this case–improving one’s ability to concentrate and overall performance. My amateurish theory is that a lot of that “improvement” is a result of the placebo effect, or that there are otherwise too many extraneous factors to make a clear correlation.

In that respect, I think Yuri and Nemo’s arguments are both valid.  

A recent trend I’ve been noticing with Yuri is that she looks to Tomoko for validation. She acknowledges that they’re not the same, but having Tomoko back her up probably makes her feel more confident in her opinions, if for nothing more than having an equal-to-majority rule.

Of course, when Tomoko does disagree with her, that’s when Yuri has to either stubbornly stick to her guns, or honestly reassess herself. And thanks to the beauty of character development, the latter’s been happening more at a healthy pace.

OUCH.

It pains me to see Okada call out Yuri like that.

It pains me even more that you can’t really call out Okada for it, either.

Introverts are generally self-conscious about the very traits they embody, even when it’s that’s their comfort zone. Much like how an otaku will get uncomfortable when non-otakus hype them up. Sure, Okada probably meant it as a compliment when she called Yuri talkative, but it’s based on the idea that Yuri’s quiet nature was an incorrect assumption, which can feel kind of demoralizing.

It’s not an easy thing to address, and I’m curious to see how they’ll work through it going forward. 

Quick, someone go update their Wiki pages!. 

Reality ensues. All those amazing anime-esque summer plans can be deterred by something as simple as unreliable weather.  

Although, having to make your own wave sounds kind of defeats the purpose of being there, doesn’t it, Nemo?

Now playing...”Eroge BGM” Playlist.

Set on autoplay.

I’m glad that no one’s complaining about translating this text, cause let’s get real. The amount of redraws that would take is ridiculous, especially for an unofficial translation. 

If you think that I’m going to screencap every image of Yuri smiling just so we can bask in her cuteness...

You’d be absolutely correct.

Oooh man, this is arguably worse than calling out the quiet kid as “talkative”. At least during that time, it could pass as just an innocent observation. But being able to smile is one of those things they supposedly instill in you during primary school. Bringing it up like that suggests that Yuri is a child who purposely tries to hide her smiles. Again, Okada meant no harm, obviously, but if they’re going to push for an OkadaxYuri friendship, there’s going to be a lot of hoops to go through.

Tomoko may have opened her mind up more about the negative stereotypes about “normies”, but the positive stereotypes still persist. In this case, it’s the idea that her more sociable peers would enjoy school simply because they can hang out with their friends. Little did she know, that’s often not the case...

PINEAPPLE-CHAN DEVELOPMENT, BABY!

Ahem, pardon my outburst, but I’ve got a lot to say about this. We’ve known for a long time now that Okada is part of the “semi-in-crowd”, and it was easy to assume that all her socializing–going to karaoke for example–were just things she always enjoyed.

But what if it wasn’t. From what Okada’s implying, she sometimes ends up hanging out with people that she would rather not. Perhaps its a friend-of-a-friend type of struggle, where she hangs with people she doesn’t really like out of politeness for a mutual friend. And even if Okada is harboring a few dark thoughts, there’s plenty of reasons to not like going to school, as she said. As someone who’s relatively extroverted, having to work through the more solitary parts of school like studying can be especially difficult.

In short, hidden depths are great.

I can’t really blame you, Tomoko. When you secretly put people on a pedestal like that, it’s hard to acknowledge their human sides that show how they struggle with everyday problems just like anyone else. Even the most well-adjusted of people have their share of frustrations. 

This was totally Nemo’s plan all along.

All these panel shots of Yuri off to the side while everyone else gallivants fills me with those paternal feelings of a father wanting their daughter to make friends. It goes against everything I know about Yuri’s character, but I guess you shouldn’t underestimate the power of moe.    

This is a pretty good example of the line that separates Tomoko and Yuri. They have very similar perspectives, but it’s Tomoko’s status as an introverted extrovert that allows her to go in the ocean, while Yuri’s extroverted introvert personality lets her stay on the sidelines. 

Poor Beach-kun is not having a good day.

So even the others are noticing how Tomoko is like Yuri’s social floatation device.

Another person probably would’ve taken the sentimental route, going on about “saving these precious memories” or “I want you to experience this with us”. The kind of things Yuu-chan would say.

Thing is, Tomoko would get too embarrassed saying that touching crap, so she has to go the indirect route instead. Using pseudo-logic so she doesn’t have to exaggerate her emotions (which are there, just more reserved). 

Either way, it still sounds vaguely creepy coming from her.

Thankfully, it actually works here because Yuri has trouble articulating her emotions, too. Tomoko probably knows subconsciously that touching crap doesn’t work on Yuri, so it makes a great deal of sense that Yuri would be more responsive to dumb logic. Especially if it’s from her loveably dumb friend.

I can get used to Tomoko and Yuri unknowingly showing Nemo up.

Off in the distance...

“Getting tangled up in gross seaweed so you can spread your own grossness to other girls? Gross!”

Okay, so I know Tomoko is probably just genuinely startled by what's happening here, but you can’t tell me that her face doesn’t scream, “NOW’S MY CHANCE FOR A GROPIN’!”

lewd.

Okay, let’s be honest. I’ve watched enough anime to know that shots like this are easy fodder for fanservice. Conveniently transparent wet uniforms, amirite? And to be frank, I don’t think the mangakas are totally playing the innocent game. Sure, it’s not as blatantly objectifying as a lot of other series tend to do in scenes like this, but the posing of the girls and angle of the camera just seems too opportune to be anything but deliberate. Be careful when walking that fine line, Nico Tanigawa.

On a more positive note, I’m glad Tomoko’s first instinct was just to help them up. Though heaven knows she’s gonna milk this for all it’s worth back home.

Oh, Yuri and your accountability issues.

When life gives you lemons...you know the rest.

The best part about watching the crazy shenanigans you see in anime is that you can omit all the boring and troublesome real-life consequences. So yeah, accidentally getting splashed by beach water may seem fun in the moment, but the annoyance of having to wash your clothes afterward just isn’t worth it.

Sometimes, summer just won’t give you a break. 

Yes. Yes, you did.

Ignoring Tomoko’s embarrassed (or lewd–it’s kind of interchangeable) expression, this is probably the most wholesome summer chapter is the series’ run. That’s not to say that the chapter is “unrealistic” in any way. Sure, the end shot of all four of them reeks of 4-girl slice-of-life moe, but it actually deconstructs it a little. Instead of a fun memory, the memory itself is decidedly bothersome and more trouble than it’s worth, but there’s a sense of enjoyment to be gained from that. As Tomoko once implied, doing stupid, embarrassing things isn’t so bad when you can share in the experience. There’s a reason for the saying, “A few years from now, we’re gonna laugh at this,” after all.  

It may be Tomoko’s final summer in high school, but it will most certainly be her fondest.

[thesecondcircleofkel]

NSFW Alphabet, Aizawa: A-Z

Reposting all of these together for convenience and to save space. Alphabet requests are still open, but remember, I don't accept requests to do the entire alphabet for someone all at once. You have to stick to the guidelines of 1 character per ask, and 5 letters per ask, and once I finish the alphabet for a character with requests like that, I will repost it all together.

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He can be a little lazy with aftercare, but that’s just because he’s so tuckered out after he’s had an orgasm. If you give him a minute, and then pester him enough afterwards, he’ll go get you what you need. If you want to take a bath with him afterwards, don’t, because he will nine times out of ten fall asleep in there and you’ll either have to drag him out or drain the tub and let him sleep there all night (which is mean, but he won’t blame you).

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner)

He’s rather indifferent when it comes to his own body. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, because he does, he just doesn’t put enough thought into it to have a favorite part on himself.

On his partner, he’s fond of their whole body, but there are three spots in particular that he puts a little more focus into: your ass, chest, and stomach. Those are his three favorite places to use as a pillow, and he absolutely loves to leave marks all along your chest because they’re easier to keep hidden there.

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Not as bad as you would think, taste-wise. It’s surprisingly mild, and while it’s a little on the thick side, it still won’t be too hard to swallow it. He prefers to cum inside you, but he’s also fond of finishing on your belly or lower back if you don’t want him to. 

D: Dirty Secret

He briefly fell asleep during sex once. He was really, really tired, but luckily you were riding him at the time in some variation of Reverse Cowgirl, so while you thought it was strange that he’d gone quiet for a minute, he woke up in time so you didn’t notice that he dozed off. He felt bad about it, but it had absolutely nothing to do with you; you were fantastic, but he was just that tired at the time. It’s definitely something he won’t be telling you anytime soon.

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Decently experienced, and he knows what he’s doing. Sex was never really one of his top priorities, but he had a few flings with people that he knew here and there. His sex drive is pretty low when he’s not in a relationship, so he mainly just gets himself off whenever the urge hits him. Beyond the fact that he knows what he’s doing, he also picks up on your preferences really quick, and he makes sure to play into those as much as possible.

F: Favorite Position

It’s not that he’s lazy during sex (he totally fucking is), but he’s really tired most of the time, so it’s just easier if you do a lot of the work. For that reason, Cowgirl is one of his favorite positions.

For similar reasons, he also likes the Leopard position. This position also gives him a great view of your ass and back.

And while we’re on the subject of your back and ass, whenever he’s feeling slightly more energized, Doggy Style is also pretty high on his list.

He also likes the Dejavu position; he likes being able to look between your legs and see his cock moving in and out of you so clearly, plus it gives him plenty of access to you for kissing and petting.

He’s a sucker for any type of spooning sex, especially when he’s just woken up, and his favorite variation of it is the Bizet position.

His favorite position for oral is Idyll position.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Overall, he’s not very goofy during sex, but you are more likely to get a sleepy grin out of him if you have sex right after he wakes up. You don’t even have to do or say anything funny to get that grin out of him; just let out a giggle yourself and his sleep addled mind will translate that as something funny enough for him to react to.

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

The carpet is certainly black, and it’s kind of bushy, too. He definitely keeps everything clean down there, but prior to getting into a relationship, he didn’t care to do any grooming. Even when he does get into a relationship, he won’t take the initiative to start grooming right off the bat; you’ll have to mention something to him about it, but after that he’ll gladly keep everything trim. So long as it’s for you, he doesn’t mind putting that effort in.

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Even when he’s being lazy, Aizawa is a very passionate lover. He doesn’t shy away from eye contact during sex, and his gaze will be positively smoldering as he watches you ride him or while he rams his cock into you. The way that he kisses you during the act is also breathtaking, and you’ll definitely get a breathless ‘I love you’ after he cums.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

If he’s not having sex regularly, he’ll masturbate about once a week. He’ll make it a long session, too, taking his time and making sure that he builds up to an intense orgasm that will leave him satisfied for a while. If he’s feeling really pent up, then he’ll edge himself, but he doesn’t do that every time he gets off.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Marking, but not obvious marking. He likes to mark you in places that are easy to hide, like your chest and inner thigh. Doesn’t mind if you mark him, as well, but make sure it’s somewhere where he can hide it.

Bondage, and he will definitely use his Capture Weapon to tie you up. He loves the amount of trust involved in it, and he has no problems with letting you tie him up, as well.

Loves the idea of you wearing a Butt Plug throughout the day, and he’d also be really interested in you having a remote-controlled vibrator either inside of you or inside of your underwear for external stimulation. He will have his hand on that remote all day, mainly to make sure that he doesn’t lose it, but he also likes to flick it on at the most random intervals. He’ll never turn it on long enough for you to cum, though. He’ll make you wait until he can take you for that.

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Bed. Bed. Bed. It’s the most comfortable place to have sex overall, plus he can fall asleep right after if he’s feeling really tired. He does like it when you ride him while he’s sitting on the couch, though, plus that’s not a bad place to nap, either.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Waking up in the morning. He absolutely loves lazy morning sex, and it’s a great way to start off his day. If you indulge him in this often enough, he’ll have a Pavlovian response and he’ll start getting morning wood nearly every day. It can be a bit annoying for him, but so long as you indulge his need for morning sex, he’s fine with it. Also, if you really want to make him a happy man, ride him during morning sex and don’t make him have to do too much. He will greatly appreciate it, and he’ll make it up to you later. And even better than that, when he’s got his Pavlovian morning wood but hasn’t woken up yet, wake him up with a blowjob. The resulting moans that you get from this man will make it worth your while.

Massages. Seriously, just rub his back for a while and then slip your hand down his pants. You will be met with nothing but hard dick. He loves the way that you touch him already, so add the relaxation of a massage on top of that and he’ll be ready to go in no time.

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s not going to hurt you, and he won’t let you hurt him, either. Pain is just not in the repertoire of things he’s willing to try when it comes to sex, and he’s not too keen when it comes to bodily fluids other than cum, either.

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He freaking loves to go down on you, and he’s down there for so long that you’d think he’d fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the orgasm ripping through you. His technique is on point, and he will most certainly tease you whenever he gives you oral, and he will give you oral a lot. He at least does it every time the two of you have sex, and sometimes he just likes to go down on you without anything else following it. He also loves receiving oral; the visual of your lips wrapped around his cock is amazing, and he loves watching you swallow his cum if you’re willing to do that. He’ll ask you to open your mouth for him before and after, too, just for the extra visual.

P: Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He usually goes slow and hard, but sometimes he’ll pick up the pace if he’s really pent up or if you ask him nicely beg. If he’s teasing you, he will damn near fuck you at a snail’s pace, but he’ll pretend like he isn’t just to frustrate you even more.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)  

He’s usually too tired to put in the effort for a quickie. If he’s got the energy for it, then he has no problem with having a quickie rather than proper sex, but that won’t happen often, especially when he could be taking a nap and resting up for proper sex later, instead. Of course, if you’re willing to do most of the work, then that changes everything.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

Not very risky. He’s a teacher and a pro-hero, so he’s got too much on the line to take a chance on getting caught having sex somewhere he shouldn’t have. When it comes to experimenting, though, he’s pretty much up for anything so long as it doesn’t cross any major boundaries of his, but if you’re doing most of the work with whatever it is you want to try then the chances of him going along with it are greatly increased.

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

His rounds last a while, at least 30 minutes since he always gives you oral first. He’ll typically only do one round, though, because he gets really tired after he has an orgasm.

T: Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Doesn’t own any toys of his own, but he definitely doesn’t mind letting you use some on him if you want to. He is also more than willing to use toys on you, and he’s particularly fond of butt plugs and remote-controlled vibrators that you can wear under your clothes all day while he has the remote.

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn’t tease you that often, but when he does, bless you, because you won’t be leaving that bed for at least an hour as he continuously brings you to the brink of orgasm but pulls back right before you can tip over that edge. No amount of begging will help, either. He’ll keep going for however long he wants unless you pop out the safe word.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not too terribly loud overall. He generally lets out really breathy groans throughout the majority of the act, but he’s prone to letting out drawn-out moans every once in a while, especially if he’s getting close to cumming.

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

His scalp is really sensitive. If you’re looking for an easy way to turn him on, just card your fingers through his hair and lightly massage his scalp. His reaction will be almost instantaneous, and he’ll end up being a little bit more rough when he takes you because of how worked up he is from your action. If you really want to mess with him, do that or pull his hair a little bit in the middle of sex; the moan that you rip out of him will be divine, and the orgasm that he has because of it will be intense, albeit a bit sudden as well.

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

A little above average length-wise, so about 5 ¾ - 6 inches, but his girth is to die for. It’s not so big that you’re afraid that it’ll hurt you, and it will give you the most satisfying stretch imaginable. He’s got 3-4 prominent veins on his shaft, with no obvious curves or bends to it. So overall, it’s very pretty.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

On a regular basis, his sex drive is pretty average, but if he actually took the time to get some proper sleep, it’d be a lot higher. He wants you, a lot, but he’s just so damn sleepy, and that sleep really puts a damper on his libido.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As long as you don’t need anything from him, he’ll fall asleep pretty quickly afterwards, for reasons stated in the above section. And when he feels the warmth of your body curled up next to him or your hands combing through his hair or gently running over his body, he doesn’t stand a chance at staying awake.

[comp6841]

Lectures - Week 8

Exam Movie & Accident

The movie ‘The China Syndrome’ is going to be needed for one of the questions in the final exam. It’s going to be shown in the security theatre in week 9, but my memory isn’t that great so I might have to get it from elsewhere closer to the actual exam date. Without going into spoilers, it basically involves a cameraman and a reporter who witness a SCRAM event in a nuclear power plant in California. They manage to initiate the emergency shutdown procedure to prevent a catastrophe, but the plant manager still suspects it isn’t safe and wants to bring it to the attention of the public.

There also is going to be a generic question on either: Chernobyl, Bhopal or Challenger. I know Chernobyl pretty well as I’ve watched a heap of documentaries on it and similarly with Challenger, except with a more detailed writeup on my blog. Maybe I’ll do some more research on the Bhopal disaster in the next couple weeks, as I don’t know too much about that.

Root Cause Analysis

Often when something goes wrong with a system we resort to a process known as root cause analysis; this means tracing back the flow of events to try and discover the factors which contributed to an accident. The problem is that in a lot of circumstances when it is applied, we like to assign blame to one individual in particular; we like things to be simple, but this is unrealistic. The one thing that is common to every single cause is that it involved human error to some extent - whether it be an inspector, someone who manufactured the part 5 years, someone who designed the computing systems or a person who installed the component.

In aviation for example, “last touch” is almost a running joke in the sense (not that people may have died obviously) that the last person to touch a part in a plane responsible for an accident almost always gets the boot. When the issue that led to an incident resides throughout an organisation, this typically requires a larger overhaul - a complete chance of organisational culture. They need to try and re-education everyone and being able to do this successfully is hard.

Human Weaknesses

I think by now everyone knows that humans are bad at telling the truth; when they do this depends on social judgement. For example, if they know they can gain an advantage without getting caught and face no social judgement, they are usually okay with doing it. However, if there are potential repercussions then they usually carefully weigh up the consequences for dishonesty with the possible reward and make a judgement.

When we looked at magic tricks earlier in the term, I think they clearly demonstrated how easy for us to get distracted or misdirected. It’s essentially a form of social engineering - we just love to focus on what is psychologically salient as opposed to what is logically important.

Another idea of satisficing links fairly nicely with truthfulness in humans; basically we’re only willing to lie to the extent that we know we can get away with. Or more appropriately, in a uni course you might decide to do the bare minimum just to get a credit - you might value other aspects of your life more and decide to do the bare minimum in certain areas. Some other inherent humans flaws are:

Bounded irrationality - decision making is limited by the information you have, the limits of your mind and the time you have to make a choice

Preferences for positivity - we want to accept the most positive outcome

Group-think syndrome - often have a preference to ‘keep the peace’ within groups for fear of social exclusion; can result in bad decision-making processes

Confirmation bias - only caring about the evidence that supports what you believe

Heuristics

Humans often rely on heuristics when determining the outcomes of situations and the associated risks. A number of types were mentioned:

Similarity matching - thinking of a similar situation that occurred in the past and applying it to the current circumstances

Frequency gambling - if many patterns match, you pick the one you are a most familiar with (a ‘natural reaction’); relies on the logic that what ‘worked in the past’ must ‘work in the future’

Availability heuristic - relies on how easily something can be brought to a person’s mind; people estimate the how frequent an event is based on how easily it can be brought to mind

Designing Code

Just some general ideas to think about when designing code:

Minimise complexity - no one component should be too complex; higher risk of errors

Coupling of components - try to avoid this because if one component is broken then the other will probably break

Cohesion - this is a good idea and involves nearby components making use of each other, while more distant ones don’t tend to

Following these rules makes it easy to build and maintain a system which is resilient to attack; if everything is tightly coupled it is hard to provide defense in depth.

3 Mile Island

We were told to watch ‘Chernobyl’ for homework again; yay I’ve already done that - love it when you’ve already inherently done the homework! I don’t think its really necessary to know the details of 3-mile island except for the fact that a cooling malfunction meant that part of the core in reactor 2 melted. This resulted in them having to release some radioactive gas a couple days after the accident.

I think the whole point of this discussion was to highlight the issues associated with highly complex systems. In the case of nuclear reactors, this makes them highly coupled such that small changes in one area of a system can lead to massive changes in other areas.

Extended Seminar: Privacy

I totally agreed with the first point of this presentation - it’s definitely all about a sacrifice of privacy for convenience. I’m pretty sure I would have great privacy if I wasn’t connected to the internet and lived on a remote deserted island, but it wouldn’t exactly be the most interesting or exciting existence. The main concern an individual might have with regards to information being online is it being used as blackmail against them; anything for a ‘quick buck’ these days it seems right? They went over some techniques you can use to protect your privacy online including:

Incognito mode - doesn’t store browsing history or cookies but not very effective against other forms of tracking

Privacy-oriented browsers - you could use search engines like ‘Duck Duck Go’ which don’t track you like Google, however if anyone in your household isn’t as concerned about their privacy as you, Google could probably still link you back up

Protecting your accounts - logout when you can, don’t like your accounts and lie about personal details

VPN (Virtual Private Network) - intermediate body between you and the internet server, so the external entity sees them (not you); traffic is encrypted

Onion routing (i.e. ) - encrypt data N times and obfuscate the origin through forwarding through a series of nodes; each of the N nodes peels back a layer of the decryption on the way to the destination

Can make yourself vulnerable by logging into accounts or through timing attacks

There was an interesting discussion regarding the “nothing to hide” argument presented by people who don’t care about widespread surveillance. Now the first counter-argument against this is the fact that you “haven’t thought of anything yet”. Also a single piece of data may not seem important but once you combine them all together you can learn extraordinary amounts about an individual - and who knows how this information could be used!

Extended Seminar: Digital Forensics

This branch of forensics is basically concerned with recovery of material on digital devices. There are 3 main stages in a digital forensics investigation usually:

(1) Acquisition / imaging

Capturing an image of a drive

Following the ‘paper trail’

Hashing

(2) Analysis

Keyword searches

Recover deleted files

Special tools used

(3) Reporting

Evidence used to construct events / actions

Layman report written

Some of the different types of forensics:

Computer forensics

Memory

Data

Mobile device

Phone

Network forensics

Router

Switches

Packet captures

Database forensics

Video / audio forensics

Movie files

Audio recorded

Steganography

The basic idea behind data forensics involves trying to re-establish the headers for files - when a file is deleted, the OS simply deletes the point to the file and marks the space under the FAT or FMT as available. Even if you overwrite the data, the overwrite is not perfect and still leaves traces of the original data. You usually need to overwrite tens of times at a minimum and test it to have any degree of certainty. I’m guessing the activity is probably going to have the flag steganographically written into the least significant bits or something...

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[themattress]

Wow. Tomoko Kanemaki SUCKS!

I decided to be masochistic and read back through the KH2 novels by Tomoko Kanemaki. And I just have to say: that there are actually people out there who like her writing and consider it to be in as good or superior to the games astounds me. These books are awful.

When they just straight-up adapt the game to text like the KH novels and the COM novels (except for the R/R one, but R/R sucks anyway), it’s fine. They even do the visits to Land of Dragons, Beast’s Castle and Olympus Coliseum better than the KH2 manga does, plus swaps in Agrabah for the far more important Port Royal. But that’s the only good thing I can say about them. In literally every other regard, the game and manga are infinitely superior.

The main problem is simple to sum up: Kanemaki is a fanfic writer. A pretty stereotypical KH fangirl. This in of itself wouldn’t be a problem if she weren’t adapting the games, but she is, and when she combines the game adaptations with her own fanfic based on what she wants to see, there is inevitably going to be a clash between them. The story written by Kazushige Nojima that she is adapting to novel form does not gel at all with what she writes, and as a result she has to either change that story (to the detriment of both it and its characters) or she neglects to change it even when it directly contradicts her own writing. This happens so much that it really makes for an excruciating reading experience. So let me list all of my problems with these novels point by point, to clarify just why Kanemaki’s writing fails so hard.

- I’ll get the biggest one out of the way right off the bat: Kanemaki is obsessed - and I mean obsessed - with the existential plight of the Nobodies, which includes the Draco in Leather Pants treatment to Organization XIII (”Is it really wrong to seek what you’ve lost?” is asked at one point, as though it’s a profound question. Um, when you’re doing so by inflicting that exact same loss upon millions of innocent people, yes it is!) The worst part is that characters (usually Namine, but Axel, Riku, Saix, Xemnas and even Ansem the Wise get on it at some points) are constantly repeating the exact same angsty inner monologues and internal (and sometime external) quasi-philosophical debates about Nobodies. I’m not kidding, it’s usually word-for-word. “Is it right for Nobodies to exist?” “Nobodies have nowhere to go or call home”. “Do Nobodies really lack hearts?” “What defines a heart?” “If Nobodies don’t have hearts, then why do they feel such-and-such?” “Why were Nobodies even born?” “Nobodies aren’t meant to exist, but does that still mean...?” And so on and so on, blah, blah, BLAH. Hearing this over and over and over and OVER again throughout my reading of the novels doesn’t make me more sympathetic of the Nobodies, it actually makes me less sympathetic and want them to go away so I don’t have to keep reading the same damn woe-is-me grade school-level existentialism! I want to keep reading about Sora, Donald and Goofy, damn it!

- Three characters who were mostly on the sidelines in KH2 somehow get a majority of time and focus here: Riku, Axel and Namine. They are even forced into an apocryphal trio together. They are basically treated as the de-facto secondary main characters next to Sora, Donald and Goofy, with their actions and development being given equal importance. Actually, that’s a lie - Riku, Axel and Namine are honestly given more importance. There is so much wrong about this - not only does the trio not feel organic and reek of bad fanfic, but each character in it isn’t well portrayed at all compared to the game or even the manga.

- Riku had the most potential, since he’s always a major character and a more talented writer could’ve come up with more feasible things for him to have been doing off-screen during KH2. But what Kanemaki has him do is ridiculous. If it’s not just stalking Sora, Donald and Goofy as a silent protector (which is the least interesting thing you could do with him), it’s bullshit with Axel and Namine, or fighting Saix midway through even though Kanemaki still keeps Saix’s later line of “Didn’t Roxas take care of you?”, or having him fight Xemnas in the Old Mansion only for Ansem the Wise to show up and Xemnas then just...retreat for no reason, letting Ansem live and thus ensuring the later destruction of his Kingdom Hearts like a dumbass!  And through all of this, she frequently makes Riku default back into snarky, arrogant asshole mode, which doesn’t fit his character at this point at all. Also, while I saw no deliberate yaoi bait in the writing of the KH2 game, it’s definitely present in these novels.

- Axel. Oh my God. Anyone who hates what was done with him as Lea in the games, you should blame Kanemaki, since she actually ran with that kind of writing and characterization for him in these novels long before that happened in the games. He is treated as a totally trustworthy good guy who is a great friend to Roxas, Riku and Namine. The one dick move Kanemaki has him make is quickly backtracked on and then swept under the rug. His whole villainous role is whitewashed at every turn, from both what he intended with Roxas (legit deciding to kill him is changed to attempting a murder/suicide so that he can die with his best friend) to everything concerning Kairi (no, he didn’t kidnap her at all, that point is hammered in frequently, he was going to take her to Namine and they’d then see Sora together! And he didn’t want to turn Sora into a Heartless, that was a wrongful assumption on Saix’s part! And Saix summoned those Dusks on Destiny Islands, not Axel! Axel is chivalrous and heroic and does everything possible to protect and save Kairi! Gag me.) It’s so obnoxious, and beyond removing all of the character’s edge, it’s a blatant case of giving a character a major role in a story that they aren’t supposed to have one in just because he’s a favorite of the writer.

- Namine is an equally blatant case of this, but her case might be even worse. Not only is she THE source of the repetitive woe-is-me existential Nobody monologues and debates, with her whole character arc being changed to revolve around this which honestly makes her unintentionally unsympathetic and annoying, but this portrayal of her has a negative effect on her in both fandom and canon. In terms of fandom, a cult of bad apples (usually yaoi fangirls who already hated Kairi) arose around Namine following KH2, declaring her as superior to Kairi in every way and worthy of being the real main heroine of the KH series. Not only is this false, but it arguably got started because of these novels (translations of which had made their way online long before they were localized), where a character who literally only got 10 minutes of screentime in the game literally gets transformed into the main heroine and one of the most frequently appearing characters in general, even if her “character development” is horribly written and amounts to her being a mouthpiece for Kanemaki’s views. Then again, maybe they just projected onto Namine due to her introverted, fond-of-drawing nature, and Kanemaki was just one of them and thus produced something that kept them going. It’s a Chicken/Egg type of thing, I guess. But whatever the case, what it did in canon was worse. Kanemaki was the first to write for Namine after KH2, in 358/2 Days, and her characterization of her translated in game form to the stagnant caricatured plot device that Nomura then realized was easy to write for and convenient for making other convoluted plot turns happen. 

- Come to think of it, Kanemaki’s partnering up with Nomura for Days probably did a lot more harm than just with Namine. Because her obsession with the “What Measure is a Non-Human?” trope never truly leaves the series after Days. It doesn’t pop up in BBS, since that was being worked on before Days, but everything afterwards is sure to feature it in some abysmal way or another, whether it be Nobodies, replicas, data copies or beings of pure darkness. The “Nobodies have hearts after all” comes straight from her writing (even if she had it as a needless overcomplication of the original idea that strong hearts can share feelings with those without it and thus serve as a heart for them too, while Nomura’s retcon is just “Nah, the body can regrow a heart, Xemnas lied”.) A lot of KH3′s worst writing might have not existed had Nomura not picked up on Kanemaki’s fixation with woobified “non-beings”.

- Sora honestly feels like an afterthought for Kanemaki. She’s so eager to write new fanficcy material for other characters, but not for the actual main protagonist, who only gets straight-up game adaptation. Oh, except that some of his lines that were “mean” to the Nobodies (and thus “OOC”, as both KH2-hating anon and Kanemaki seem to think) are changed or cut out.

- Y’know how the KH2 manga made Kairi even better than her game portrayal? Yeah, well this novel makes her far worse. First off, her defiant “you’re not acting very friendly!” to Axel is cut because Axel is whitewashed in that moment (he even readies himself to defend Kairi from the Dusks which Saix summons). Later, she does not get away from Axel because he was never kidnapping her to begin with here. She then realizes that he’s really a good person before Saix kidnaps her, with Axel desperately trying to protect her. She then only shows up toward the end when Axel once again comes to be her hero (again thwarted by that dastardly Saix), with her moping about how she can do nothing to help the brave, noble Axel. (I feel sick just typing this...) In the finale, not only does Kanemaki not take advantage of the potential Kairi development that the game relegated to optional text boxes, but she actually destroys Kairi’s entire arc long before BBS did by making one of her few additions to Kairi be an inner monologue she has on the shore of Destiny Islands alongside Mickey, Donald and Goofy just before Sora and Riku make it back, where she’s just wishing with all her heart that they’ll come back because “We’re here waiting for you. We’ll always wait for you.” BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. Kanemaki, just like Nomura and Oka, clearly has no interest in Kairi as a character on her own. She is used here as a plot device for the character development of Axel and Namine, characters she is interested in, even though Kairi had more significance and screentime than them by far in the actual KH2 game. Geez, even Nojima tried with her!

- Roxas is written just fine during the prologue, since his scenes are just lifted from the game. But when he resurfaces in the final novel, added material make Axel be the most important thing on his mind. Even his final thoughts as he makes the full merging with Sora is that he hopes to meet Axel again. More deliberate yaoi-baiting, and more shoving Axel down our throats. Hell, that last novel is even named “Anthem - Meet Again / Axel Last Stand”. God damn it, Kanemaki, Axel was not important to KH2. It’s not his story. Get over it already!

- Hey, remember how in the game DiZ/ Ansem the Wise did a total character 180 due to offscreen reasons when he came back after the prologue? That was dumb. The novels add new scenes for him, so Kanemaki could actually rectify this issue....OR she just repeats it, since the first new scene she gives him also has him in 180 mode due to offscreen reasons! 

- Xemnas and Saix both have their levels of menace neutered thanks to the existential angst of the Nobodies affecting them too, with none of their inner monologues bemoaning their fates really adding up with their actions. The game let you make up your own mind as to whether you found them sympathetic despite their monstrous behavior, but Kanemaki is clearly trying to force the sympathy angle, and it really lessens them, especially Xemnas. 

- Really, only Xigbar, Xaldin, Demyx, Luxord, and the trio of Hayner, Pence and Olette were written completely accurately out of the KH-original cast. Nothing felt out of place with them.

- Other nonsensical fanficcy events besides what I’ve already mentioned include bringing stuff from COM (like Repliku) back up frequently instead of keeping focus on the story at hand, a totally different version of how Namine and Axel split from Riku following the prologue (one that continues making Namine unintentionally unsympathetic), Riku having Mickey make the promise after the prologue before Kanemaki’s own 358/2 Days retcons this to happening before it, Riku meeting with Maleficent in Hollow Bastion, Mickey meeting with Axel in Hollow Bastion, Axel being the one to wake Goofy up after his “death”, Axel having a sort of odd friendship with Pluto, Ansem the Wise being the one to provide the box of clues for Riku to give, Axel pretending to betray Riku and Namine so that he gets let back into the Organization and thus be able to rescue Kairi, meetings between the Organization where they talk about totally different and less interesting matters than they did in the game, and having Namine stalk the group throughout the finale as she thinks her last pretentious inner monologues. Also, given its subject matter and how it plays during Days’ opening, I swear to God that Kanemaki created the Axel/Roxas ghost scene that Nomura added to KH2:FM. That it shows up in the last novel, word-for-word, a month before KH2:FM’s release, proves this.

- The misplacement of Disney Castle. This one REALLY bothers me. She places Disney Castle between Beast’s Castle and Port Royal in the third novel. This makes no sense whatsoever, since not only was this meant to be Maleficent’s re-introduction to Sora, Donald and Goofy, but now it comes after Maleficent already made an alliance with Sora and his friends at Hollow Bastion! And then all of a sudden, she’s no longer keeping the Nobodies at bay and is back to self-interested villainy! And there isn’t any dialogue explaining this away or anything!  We still have Maleficent saying “If it isn't the wretched Keyblade holder and his pitiful lackeys!” as if she hadn’t agreed to temporarily join forces with said wretched Keyblade holder and his pitiful lackeys! Way to ruin one of the best Disney world visits, Kanemaki!

- The whole finale and especially the ending itself, which were so powerful in both the game and even the manga, has no power in the light novel style of writing Kanemaki uses. Part of that isn’t Kanemaki’s fault, since so much of the finale’s greatness is visual and that obviously can’t be recaptured in text form. And yet she still makes some baffling pacing decisions, with stuff like the aforementioned Namine stalking passages throwing the whole thing off, LOL moments such as Riku himself outright admitting that he has no idea where he got Kairi’s Keyblade also breaking the immersion, character alterations like to Xemnas and Kairi ruining the effectiveness of things they do, and a truly WTF-inducing final chapter where the entire Secret Ansem Report is put before a novelization of both the credits scene where Sora sees Kairi’s drawing in the Secret Place and the epilogue scene where they get the King’s letter.

Overall, these novels just don’t feel like Kingdom Hearts II to me. Even the KH2 manga, the middle of its first half notwithstanding, felt like it. This does not. And that’s because whatever the faults in its narrative, KH2′s story was first and foremost a fun Disney/Square crossover adventure starring Sora, Donald and Goofy, with angsty existentialism merely being one of its themes and meant more for players to think about and discuss rather than the characters. The novels tell a story about angsty existentialism starring characters who think about and discuss it, with Sora, Donald and Goofy’s adventures being a passionless afterthought. That there are people who honestly think that Kanemaki doing this “fleshes out the characters” is shameful. Constant angst and grade school-level philosophical circle-jerking is not character depth. It is pretension of depth, hence the word “pretentious” which fits perfectly here. It takes a lot more than talking and expressing feelings at length to constitute character development. It requires meaningful actions, and it requires some form of growth and change. Kanemaki’s characters are largely static, simplistically characterized beings who spin their wheels in terms of both actions and growth. Riku does not change: you can barely tell he has any kind of depression or has experienced any kind of humbling. Axel does not change: he’s a great guy from the start and has no internal problems to overcome, only the external one of being separated from Roxas. Namine does not change, she goes through the same questioning and angsting over her existence and the existence of other Nobodies until the last minute where the answer just suddenly comes to her (in fact, it was apparently in her all along and she just forgot it. Shades of Sora’s dumbass “Power of Waking” arc in KH3 here...)  Any actual development that happens with some characters (like Ansem the Wise) comes straight from the game...and Nojima didn’t write that all too well either!  There is just very little that’s enjoyable about the KH2 novels to me, and Tomoko Kanemaki’s writing is to blame for that.

In the words of Lemony Snicket: I highly advise you to not read these books.

[walriding]

     “I don’t believe it.”

     “Sam--”

     “I don’t.” Inhale. Shiver. Exhale. “Believe it.”

     Not the first time she’s thought those words, but the first time she’s spoken them aloud. Externalizing the sentiment doesn’t ease the feeling of pressure that’s been steadily building in her chest ever since they got the news. It’s only been about two weeks since her mother picked up the phone and the world froze before it shattered. The interim has felt endless and instant all at once, slow as molasses in each moment but barely a blink when she looks back at it in its totality. 

     Funeral planning isn’t easy, but there are plenty of resources out there, how-to and what-not-to-do guides alike. Making preparations was something of a family affair, divided among her and her sister and her parents. Well, mostly between her and her sister and her father. Sam’s mother, currently seated with slumped shoulders on the couch while Sam’s daughter holds steadfastly to her hand, hadn’t the heart to provide much input. Such a thing can’t be blamed -- you aren’t meant to bury your children. And for as much as the woman had remarked with a mix of anger and worry that her son’s stupidity was going to get him killed, she’d never actually expected the day to come.

     None of them had.

     “You don’t have to believe it.” Ana says beside her, sounding wearier and so much more exhausted than Sam has ever heard. The middle Upshur child is looking around the space before them, appraising the scenery and the faces all congregated in the family home to pay respects. Turnout has been about what was expected, given the sudden circumstances. Family and friends, people who knew the family or the deceased in particular. Even an ex boyfriend showed up, though Sam hasn’t said more than a few words to him. She’d always liked Jack, and some part of her privately wonders how things could have been different, if her brother hadn’t been so goddamn difficult. Flowers and candles dot most of the available horizontal surfaces, along with clusters of photos and mementos marking the passage of a life once lived. And at the center of it all, on a table overcrowded with all manner of tokens, sits an understated gray and bronze urn. “He’s dead. It doesn’t matter what you think or what you believe -- Miles is dead.”

     Ana’s always been blunt. That had been the impetus for many a childhood spat between her and the youngest of their trio. In that way, Ana and Miles were too alike. Sam has always been more measured, more thoughtful, more cautious. She’d be a poor excuse for a lawyer, if she had the temper or the mouth of either of her siblings. But when she chances a side glance at Ana, peeling her gaze away from that fucking urn, she sees that her sister’s eyes are wet with tears soon to be shed. Sam doesn’t reach out, but instead leans in until their arms are just brushing. Ana presses into the contact until she can tilt her head onto her older sister’s shoulder. 

     “He was such a fucking idiot,” Ana mutters. “All the stupid shit he did, all the grief he put Mom and Dad through every time he dropped off the face of the earth, and he went and let his apartment catch fire with him in it. Like a fucking idiot.”

     Sam chews her lip, lost in thought. They’re talking too lowly to draw anyone’s attention, and a sort of bubble has developed around the immediate members of the family. Death is hard -- tragic deaths are even harder. No one really knows what to say. But she’s grateful for the relative privacy, even when the house is just shy of being packed with people. Today still doesn’t feel real. She’s had over almost two weeks to process, almost two weeks to sort through every thought and emotion in her heart and head. She’s shed her fair share of tears and she knows that two days from now, when she’s throwing a handful of damp soil over her brother’s ashes, she’s going to cry again. But today feels like a dream, like something she’s observing rather than experiencing. 

     Everyone mourns differently. She tells herself it’s okay to feel numb.

     There’s a low buzz and Ana straightens, still bumping shoulders with Sam, and digs into her pocket to fish out her vibrating phone. Her husband’s name brightens the screen. “It’s Tom,” she says, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “He’s probably on his way with the kids.” She’s already heading for quiet of the kitchen and holding the phone up to her ear before Sam can ask if she wants company.

     Alone, now, Sam inhales. Shivers. Exhales. She looks around at the flowers -- she’d made sure there were sunflowers in at least one of the arrangements, Miles’ favorites -- and the photographs. Some are from their childhood and taken from dusty photo albums, while others are newer printouts that college friends brought along. Even Jack had supplied a number of picture-memories, things he hadn’t gotten around to throwing away after the breakup. It pains Sam to know there aren’t many current photographs, that Miles struggled to keep so many connections. The most recent family photo that includes him dates back to Christmas -- three years ago this December.

     Miles would hate this, she thinks as she continues taking it all in. He’d never really been one to revere tradition, and right now he’d be scoffing at how forced the whole thing is. Christ, Sam, this is just fucking depressing, he’d say, rolling those big brown eyes. Just bury me in the backyard and save money. And he’d smirk and laugh in that way of his when she would elbow him hard in the ribs.

     Wherever he is, Sam hopes he’s laughing, smiling, maybe even getting a little exasperated at the whole song and dance.

     I don’t believe it.

     Denial is a stage of grief. She knows this. Knows that pretending he’s still out there isn’t healthy, in the long run. It’s not coping. But it’s not the same as blind grief because it’s all too... convenient. Sam has always watched Miles’ career, always tried to keep tabs on where he’s been and what he’s been writing. And he’s always opened up to her more than he has to anyone else in the family. She’s heard about Murkoff -- had many a lengthy and largely one-sided phone conversation while he ranted about their latest money-grabbing capitalist fuckery. His words, not hers. She knows the sites to frequent, the sources that border on fringe conspiracy ramblings. The night after they’d gotten the news from the D.C. police, one of Sam’s first instincts had been to look online for more information. VIRALeaks was the last link she’d had open, and the page loaded before she could close it out. One of the featured stories, right there on the front page, was a video file. It was taken on a camcorder, shaky and grainy, the kind of thing that looked like an amateur found footage film. She wouldn’t have even clicked the link if the written caption hadn’t caught her eye.

     The footage was taken at the Mount Massive Asylum in Colorado.

     Mount Massive was owned by the Murkoff Corporation.

     She watched the whole thing, even the parts that made her want to throw up. Then she watched it again.

     Then she began piecing everything together.

     Miles’ Jeep was missing without a trace. His bank account showed a substantial withdrawal just days after the timestamp on the asylum recording. The records of his phone usage, bank account access, anything that would offer a geographic pinpoint were either inaccessible, or showed that he was somewhere closer to D.C. But Murkoff handled biometric security as their main priority -- they were a tech company, for fuck’s sake. And Miles had told her time and time again how adept they were at covering tracks, burying leads, making sure the truth of what they did never saw the light of day.

     Sam blinks. Without realizing, her hand had curled into such a tight fist her fingernails have left crescent moons in her palm. Ana is back at her side, eyes dry but still red and slightly puffy, asking if she’s alright. Sam nods, then shakes her head, nods again. Ana frowns.

     “You were zoned out. Are you--” But then their father is at Sam’s other side, touching a gentle hand to her shoulder. 

     There are tears streaming down Sam’s face in warm, wet rivulets, dripping onto the collar of her shirt. She hadn’t even noticed.

     “Let’s take a walk,” her father says, soft and sad and old. When had her parents gotten so old? He hands her a tissue, says nothing else.

     “No, no, I just-- I need a minute,” she wipes at her eyes, not much caring for how it makes her makeup streak. “I need air, I’ll... I’ll be right back.” Nodding, solemn and lost for words, he lets her go.

     The backyard is empty, at least. There’s no one to watch when Sam sits on a plastic chair and all but doubles over as she sobs. Whether she believes it or not, she’s at her parents’ house and there’s an urn in their living room and it’s filled with the ashes of her baby brother’s life. In two days, the urn will be buried, laid to rest beneath soil and a flat headstone bearing a bible verse Sam had selected because no one else could bring themselves to do it.

     Blessed those who do what is right, whose deeds are always just.

     Miles would probably hate it.

     But that verse sticks in Sam’s head after she’s cried herself dry for the time being. It can’t have been very long -- no one’s come looking -- and she pulls out her phone to check the time and her reflection. Might as well go back inside looking halfway presentable. Once the mascara is off of her cheeks, she hesitates, phone still in hand. 

     Blessed those who do what is right, whose deeds are always just. 

     There’s no way Miles didn’t know about the asylum, that his finger wasn’t on the pulse of that story from the get-go. Sam knows that right down to her core. He would have known.

     He would have tried to investigate.

     Having followed the pathway of his professional journey, she’s seen his collaborations with others. A handful of co-authored articles and a few podcasts he’d done with another investigative journalist. Newstomorrow.net -- entered into the address bar without a second thought. Still sniffling, she navigates through the site until she finds contact information. An email address.

     It’s desperate. It’s might be a little bit crazy. 

     It’s the kind of thing Miles would do.

     She copies the email address, opens up a new composition, and begins to type. 

     When she’s finished, she hits send.

     Balling the used tissue up and stuffing it into her pocket alongside her phone, she goes back inside the house.

[ruffoverthinksthings]

Since most of the famous royals go to Auradon, what about the commoner children? What is their school life? Are they like in-city kids with less funding than the royals? And the half-fae kids in these schools, are they treated badly?

The answer is, it varies depending on where you are.

Most upper class Auradonians send their children to establishments similar to Auradon Prep, or other types of prestigious academies, such as the modern day Knights barracks where they apprentice to become commissioned officers, superiors over the rest of the Royal Guard straight off the bat, or the fancier version of military school in the modern day, and sending misbehaving progeny to the military to smarten up in olden days.

Excluding home education, Mandatory Education for middle/working class individuals generally takes on three different forms, one of which has two subgroups:

I. Privatized Education

Generally only afforded by the middle class, or working class with scholarships, sponsorships, and/or connections to the societal rungs above them, these are the middle ground between the “best of the absolute best” schools like Auradon Prep, and the less well funded and oftentimes less prestigious public schools I’ll be mentioning below.

It’s the above average in every way, really: colleges don’t raise eyebrows when they see you studied there, but they will generally keep you in mind during admissions; it’s not likely to make you the center of attention at a party if you mention your alma mater, and you might have to explain what it is and what it’s known for, but no one will look any lesser about you for it; and you generally have a similar, very high-achieving, and holistic education like the Royals of Auradon Prep do, which encourages such values as independence, critical thinking, and philosophy alongside ethics.

To give you an idea, their Civics classes oftentimes includes hypothetical situations, essays, and Socratic debates where they are asked to commentate on, dissect, and criticize past decisions, such as that of the Magic Ban. One of the key differences is, in the private schools outside of Auradon’s Ivy League equivalent, the students are framed as average citizens answering referendums or wording letters to the executive branch, not the monarchs that proclaimed the order and whose signature is on the paper.

On a side note, they make up the bulk of Auradon’s high school Tourney league, which tends to be a VERY big deal to the institution and the location they are based in, wherever you go.

II. Public Education

The mandatory educational program that every single Auradonian citizen is supposed to have at the bare minimum. It emphasizes the three basic skills--reading, writing, and arithmetic--but also includes a very heavy focus on ethics, philosophy, and history, oftentimes retelling the stories of their many monarchs rises to fame and their adventures (read: Disney movies, except it’s quite literally history class).

Schools, depending on their geographic location and local government, are allowed to either specialize in preparing their students for IT, STEM, and their future college degrees; or with boosting their local industries and businesses, generally agriculture, alongside numerous exercises and events meant to foster stronger, closer ties to their community, alongside maintaining its health.

While in theory and in the constitution, every school is supposed to meet a set number of minimum standards and practices, and will have its operation on probation and intervention, then threatened with shutdown if they can’t meet the standards still, you might have guessed by now that it doesn’t quite work that way in practice...

A. City

Ironically, being “inner city” is a GOOD thing in Auradon.

It’s only been two decades since the giant industrialization rush, and while many of the giants have either fallen, cut down their activities significantly, or been rendered obsolete, a LOT of these industries are still around, still require a good number of employees, who they can pay great wages, and who said employees then use to buy housing close to their workplace, raise families in them, and desire good schools to send the children too.

Both by geographic proximity and majority of Auradon’s economic activity being focused in the metropolitan cities, many of these public schools do quite well for themselves, comfortably reaching the minimum standards if they aren’t able to match up to the most prestigious privatized academies--those tend to be the exception, though, like Arendelle Science High School which has very strong backing from its government, and mutual interest from its business interests to attract and more importantly, keep inventors, geniuses, and savants.

Depending on where you are, the city public school is just as viable a choice as private, and some of them do carry a better reputation than the latter.

Blame it on Auradon’s love for the exceptional, but there’s much to be said about being a notable graduate from a school that’s required to take in everybody VS one that can be selective about who they let in, and with much more means to groom them.

B. Countryside

And THIS is where the “inner city” effect is most strongly seen. As I mentioned above, the industrial boom is still around in Auradon (if slowing down and making its start towards a Green Revolution), and obviously, those workers didn’t come from thin air--they were from the countrysides and remote villages, either within that nation’s borders, or emigrating from them on whichever country’s “Dream” got them to bite.

Due to the lack of development, infrastructure, and interest (until recently) in the countryside, majority of the public schools here suffer, oftentimes falling below minimum standards, having poor facilities, or the inability to retain staff, either by their own choice, or because of external reasons like needing to have income to pay the rent and their own food.

There is also a marked lack of interest in government supervision and inspection of them--the competent supervisors are generally lured to the AIL (Auradon Ivy League) or better private schools due to pay and the lifestyles there, the ones that wish to actually follow through with the law lack the means and the support to enforce it, and then there are the ones that wish to do away with the standards altogether and impose their idea of what is a “proper” education with impunity.

There are a handful of schools out there that are basically focused on producing a new generation of basket weavers, ideal housewives, and/or farmers, even if they’re supposed to be learning how to read--but then again, what is there to read to them in the first place...?

C. Side Note

Both make up the minority of Auradon’s high school Tourney league, largely due to logistic and economic issues. There’s only so many teams that can be allowed on the official league match ups at once, and many of them have players that can be conveniently shipped off wherever and whenever, and whose schools have the training and equipment to keep them at the top of their game. (Pun intended.)

There’s also the matter of sports scholarships. Many of the great players end up leaving their old teams and lives behind entirely if the opportunity to study someplace better shows itself--and really, no one blames them.

III. Mentorship/Vocational Education

And finally, the most traditional sort of education that still exists, is becoming an apprentice for some sort of skilled occupation becoming a carpenter, a blacksmith, or perhaps one of the royal scribes, for those that really want a fast, guaranteed, if tedious track into a government job and perhaps a future seat there.

If you’re equipped for it, you can’t go wrong with having to take down and record all the going-ons in the states and having to file, retrieve, and disseminate that information. “No one knows what’s going on in the world better than the man who has to put it all to paper,” as the saying goes.

There’s also a much larger scale effort with some companies training highly specialized work forces, such as the increasingly complex and difficult nature of manufacturing cars, home appliances, and technology in Auradon.

Like in the real world, it used to be you had an electrician, an engineer, and a mechanic, and now you need someone who’s all three for one product line specifically.

P.S. Half-Fae kids depends again.

Those that are extremely human like such as half-elves generally get along just fine even in the most remote countrysides, as the villages tend to have been living with them and their full-blooded Fae parents for centuries, if they don’t have some sort of symbiotic bond with them.

They’re a little stranger and different than the humans, but not by THAT much--think of it like a mostly Caucasian American population who lives comfortably with their Italian American and African American fellows.

For those that have less than ideal relationships with the humans in the region (i.e. demons), they do tend to be bullied and treated with superstition, but eventually the kids get used to them and they become part of any of the normal school cliques and social rungs that their fully human classmates are also part of, if they don’t own it and take advantage of it.

You’ll find more than a couple of half-demon kids who openly embrace the “unholy” images of their supernatural side; leather jackets with “HELLSPAWN” behind them are rather popular, as are the requisite goats, fire, and pentagrams.

Sometimes, their heritage isn’t even acknowledged at all, except in passing, and they’re treated as equals, individual personalities and exceptional abilities notwithstanding.

“In the end, we’re all in the back of the same dung cart, so what’s the point?”

[classyfoxdestiny]

ASK ANU: 'My husband doesn't love me'

ASK ANU: 'My husband doesn't love me'

Is your relationship causing you stress?

Are you feeling lonely, helpless, indecisive?

You are not alone!

As part of an initiative to help Rediff readers, mind/life coach, NLP trainer and mental health guru Anu Krishna wants you to talk about your problems.

Every week, Anu will answer your queries, address your concerns and offer expert advice on how you can take control of your life.

Dear readers, if you have a question for Anu, please e-mail it to getahead@rediff.co.in (Subject: Ask ANU) for her advice.

Meanwhile, here’s the unedited excerpt from Anu’s latest offline session with readers:

A: Dear Anu It’s been 3 years since I had my break up with my girlfriend.

We parted our ways on good terms but till date I miss her. Every time I feel like I should text her or call her but I don’t I just divert myself.

From past three weeks this thing is increasing I don’t know what to do should I contact her or not.

And I can’t discuss this thing with anyone I never told my friends about this relationship and I don’t want to.

Please help me out ma’am tell me what should I do .

ANU: Dear Anonymous, you can do one of two things. Either call her/text her and know what she feels about your relationship and whether she considers it as one.

If she does, see how both of you can rebuild it.

If she has moved on, then it’s obvious to move on as well. Easier said than done, I know.

But if you weigh what you lose by being in a zone of misery and anxiety versus what you can do and be when you move on, I guess it’s obvious what you must choose for yourself.

Start with initially distracting yourself from the phone into things that matter.

Do simple things; any repair in the house that you have put off or any course that you have been procrastinating about.

This is the time to start deeply focusing into something that will give you a sense of achievement that will enable you to have a better feeling from within.

Slowly, start to increase the level of difficulty of these tasks and soon, though you might still remember her, it will not be through pain or anguish but more a good memory.

Start now and always make sure you are surrounded by friends who pull you when you feel that ‘down’ moment.

Do remember, there was a reason why the two of you parted.

Honour and respect that reason and move on if that’s what is necessary for your peace of mind.

My best wishes to you!

HS: I don’t know how to start but things are not good in my life.

I lost my father 3 months back which still does not go out of my head.

I met a girl recently and developed some sort of feelings for her but she is not at all interested in me which made me more sad as I feel as I am just not good enough.

Due to my professional work I am not living with my family and their tensions extra.

I have zero friends who talk regularly to me or ask about me.

I have a thin body so people body shame me and it decreases my morale and confidence.

Profession is also not going as good I thought due to relationship issues with my manager.

Everything is making me more sad and lonely.

Please give me something to cheer. Don’t want to live life like this.. I am writing this with a heavy heart.

ANU: Dear HS, I am truly sorry for your loss; the passing away of a loved one is never easy on anyone.

Now let’s focus on what you might be bothered by. See, if you are going to depend on the external environment to increase your confidence or self-esteem, then you are setting yourself up for a rude disappointment.

Your state of mind is your choice which is the one that dictates how you perceive the environment around you.

If you wake every morning feeling sorry for yourself, do you think you are going to perform well at work?

Shying away from a social life just because you are body shamed pushes you back into an unfavorable state of mind where you shut away even a few ‘good’ people.

Why deprive yourself of the little joys just because some people measure you by how you look?

What do you get by giving into that drama that these people have created?

More agony, I presume! And then the loop goes on and on…

Do check a few inspiring videos on how people have overcome body shaming and take a leaf out of it and start living for who you are; people start respecting you when you respect yourself first.

Well, romantic feelings sometimes may not be reciprocated; but you feel sad because you already are in a self-pity mode; what if your mind space was stronger?

A rejection from a girl, would have still been fine and would have been easy to move on.

Sorry, I need to be honest and show you the mirror, rather than just cheer you up. Get up, stand tall, show up. Show Up, no matter what!

Respect yourself for who you are…you are your best Ally…Now, I want you to dust yourself off of all the feelings that are not useful and Show Up and Take Charge…watch how things change…

Best wishes and simply Show Up…You can do this…

RG:I have been in a relationship for 12 years when I married the man I love.

It is now 6 years of marriage and we have a kid. When I was pregnant my husband was in a relationship with another woman.

When my kid was 2.5 years old I came know about the relationship and I am destroyed.

My husband asked me not to leave him and since I didn’t get any support from my family I stayed. Now I am still not able to overcome the situation.

I know he doesn’t love me though he says he does.

I don’t know why I am with him, he is trying to maintain our relation but there is nothing like before.

I don’t feel the same way. I even don’t know whether I still love him or not.

ANU: Dear RG, I am going to assume that you want the marriage to work and my suggestions below are based on this assumption.

It’s time to get an independent person involved who will help in giving an impersonal view. This could be an elder member of the family or a Marriage Therapist.

What this person will help with is reevaluate your marriage, put things into perspective, clarify all your doubts.

Obviously, you have your doubts on whether he loves you or not after being cheated upon! But no amount of asking is going to convince you…that’s why it’s imperative for both of you involve a person who can guide you through this process of rebuilding your marriage in trust and love.

In the meantime, what I might suggest for you is: Remind yourself everyday as to why you married him and what he has brought forth to your life.

This helps you be in a sane space on a daily basis which also help you care for the toddler who needs a lot of care and love as well.

Spend time with friends that don’t just gossip and bad-mouth but can genuinely nourish you; you need this nourishment now.

Pick up a hobby and indulge in it; it helps not just distract you but also give you a ‘feel-good’ emotion and makes you have little moments of joy.

Of course, after you visit the expert, the choice of continuing in the marriage or not, rests with the two of you…choose wisely.

All the best!

GN: My name is Gatima, I’m 36 years old and a housewife.

I’m married from past 10 years and it was a love marriage.

I was bought up in metro cities like Delhi and Mumbai. I married to a guy from Goa and a shipy (merchant navy).

I was working when I got married but I left immediately because I wanted to sail with my husband, initial years were good. I have one boy who is 5 now .

We used to fight all d time but initially we used to understand each other and patch up fast , but from last one year our fights increased so much and we stop talking for even months.

My husband has lots of complaints from me and always blames me for every fight.

I’m feeling so guilty. I always curse myself and ask God why he made me so bad person.

Whenever we fight, all other family members cut off communication with me.

Although I am surrounded by so many I’m alone.

I cry most of time but now my eyes have dried and there are no tears.

I hate myself and my life. I cannot face the mirror for days bcoz I hate myself.

I am living for my 5 year old son. But I’m very depressed and have PCOD .

I don’t get sleep plus I get migraine attacks.

ANU: Dear GN, The past year has been different for different people; marriages have been rebuilt, new marriages have taken place, divorces have happened…relationships have gone through a huge transitions, in short.

Of course, not to undermine what you are experiencing right now!

Conflicts, arguments, debates are common in a marriage…but they can be worked upon as long as both of you want the same thing and want to stick around in the marriage.

What according to you has changed now when you say that things used to easily resolve earlier and now that doesn’t happen? What has caused this?

When you say, he complains and blames you, how does he do that? Does he actually say it aloud or are you interpreting it?

These questions get you closer to the truth of the matter at hand.

It takes two people to create a conflict, of course the phase of life or whatever the phase he is in, maybe he finds it convenient to blame you.

So why do play the role of the victim when you are not actually one?

And Yes, he may not be justified in what he is doing and throwing it all on you. But if simply being in this pool of misery has achieved anything, it has made you a victim…

If you want to feel better or change something about this situation, wake up NOW…do something, do anything; support or no support from anyone!

A small change in the way you perceive things and act for yourself can change your physical well-being as well.

PCOS/Migraine can be an indirect result of the anxiety and stress that you are carrying inside you.

Start focusing on what you are eating and if you are exercising enough…these can help a great deal in keeping PCOS/Migraine under control.

What you think is what you become…so keep your son also in mind and get yourself out of this misery or find an expert who can help you. You want this for yourself and your son, don’t you?

My best wishes are with you!

KS:My name is ‘X’ and I belong to a middle class family.

Right now, I am 46 and my marriage was solemnised about 10 yrs back.

It was a totally arranged marriage would like to state here that I didn’t like the girl or her appearance right from the start.

I am a teacher by profession and my mother wanted her would be daughter- in law to have a similar background that is like that of a teacher.

Initially, I was hesitant to marry this girl selected by my parents, but then I consented to the marriage thinking that whatever my elders and my parents had thought about my future would be the correct decision related to my life.

Moreover, everybody had started to say that the girl would suit me. But right from the 1st day of marriage, I started resenting the relationship.

Nothing happened between us on the 1st night of marriage.

The girl didn’t have any specific faults, but somehow she didn’t appear to be attractive at all for me.

The colour of her skin was dark, maybe I wanted a fair skinned girl.

Finally, the situation came to such an extent that she, in collusion with her family, lodged a false case of domestic violence against us because they felt that the girl was unfairly neglected by me.

They also wanted to derive unfair financial gain at my parents and my cost.

The case continued for 7 years and ultimately we won it. And now, after many years, I have once again started to feel that I should marry even though I am of advanced age.

I want a partner who is attractive, beautiful and above all, who is so matured in her outlook that after marriage, we will not even care for any petty issues and not fight over silly matters.

I am also taking the help of Shaadi.com in this matter through all the attractive membership schemes launched by them.

Now, at this juncture, I really need your advice as to whether I should proceed forward and take this step at my age.

This is moreso because as a life partner, I want an elite kind of girl who is far above the kind of girl which we see in most common middle-class societies.

I do not want to disclose my name.

ANU: Dear KS, before you proceed on this journey of finding a life partner for yourself, it is time to rework your strong beliefs on appearance, skin colour etc.

What went wrong with your first marriage maybe anybody’s guess, but there’s no judging here!

Not that, you were coerced into it; you fully know you always had the option of saying you didn’t want to marry the girl.

Yet, you went ahead convincing yourself that your family knew what they were doing for you.

The unfair financial gain that they wanted might have been a direct result of the unfair treatment from you towards their daughter.

Did that occur to you?

You say you want a life partner who will not rake up petty issues and be matured as well, don’t you feel that is what she will expect from you as well?

Since I don’t have the details, it would be unfair of me to presume anymore on this.

It was to simply turn your head towards how your old-fashioned thinking might step into your next marriage as well?

How would you feel if on the first night in your next marriage, your wife comments on your physical appearance or your performance in bed?

Are you going to walk around with a high self-esteem even after that?

Let’s now lead you to a place that can make it a beautiful experience for you…

So much has changed and I truly wish that you look at your spouse for what she can add into your life instead of harping on what she doesn’t possess?

I mean, as humans the flaws that we walk around, if it were pointed to us on a daily basis, it would depress us to a point that we may end up feeling that we are not good enough.

What I would suggest after having worked with couples over years helping them rebuild their marriages is to change your way of thinking and embrace the next person for who she is once you know your initial check boxes have been ticked that might involve matching value systems.

This helps in rooting your marriage on a strong foundation; rain or storm, the two of you will be smiling and holding hands to walk the journey together.

Wishing you a beautiful life!

TT: Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you.

Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago.

Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married.

Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also.

He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life.

Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together.

Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner.

I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can’t think of separation.

I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on.

Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too.

I am completely confused about what should I do.

I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things.

Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.

ANU: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

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[alexsmitposts]

Epstein is Dead, But His Legacy Will Be Inflicted On Us All The alleged suicide of Jeffrey Epstein has become one of the few things the currently very divided US population can broadly agree on. Epstein and his network of friends were so high profile that this alleged sex predator is highly unlikely to have committed suicide. At the very least he was assisted, while someone intentionally turned a blind eye to protect others hiding in the proverbial shadows. Even lawmakers on both sides of Congress have agreed to the need for an investigation, if only in the hope that it will cover themselves. This would involve not only the death but the “slap on the hand” lenient deal bargain brokered more than 10 years ago in the Miami Office of the US Attorney concerning previous cases of sexual abuse. What worms may turn up with a turn of a shovel are reported by the New York Magazine:. …for decades, important, influential, “serious” people attended Epstein’s dinner parties, rode his private jet, and furthered the fiction that he was some kind of genius hedge-fund billionaire.” Nearly everyone I have spoken to believes this was a faked suicide, and the government is lying about it. As the low voter turnout figures at elections have long suggested, most Americans already believe that all the US government does is lie rather than serve the people. But when all the contrary organs of disinformation – Democrats, Republicans, Fox News and CNN – agree there is a conspiracy, it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that there is. Yawn yawn The Epstein case is the latest in a long line of sex scandals involving high profile individuals. If you have never heard of Epstein, you can work this out by how this story has been handled. The usual playbook has been followed, in brazen defiance of the fact that we have seen and heard all this before, many times over. Belgium had the Marc Dutroux scandal, in which a convicted child rapist was released to rape and murder more children. After he claimed that he was part of a child sex ring involving many powerful people, the experienced and publicly trusted judge in charge of the investigation into his case was dismissed and replaced with a novice. The dismissed judge was later called as a witness in Dutroux’s trial, and stated under oath that the authorities were protecting witnesses and pressurising the prosecutors and the courts. At least 20 witnesses to Dutroux’s crimes have since died without apparent explanation. Strangely enough, the government’s investigation found that Dutroux had no high profile accomplices in his crimes, blaming everything on unspecified “corruption” within the police service ultimately responsible to the government. Jimmy Savile was a popular disc jockey and TV presenter known for his charity work. Only after he died was he revealed as one of the most prolific paedophiles in history. It is obvious from what has come out since that hundreds of people knew a great deal about Savile’s crimes, and that his charity work was a scam designed to gain him access to vulnerable people he could abuse. But at the time, few of these people (professional colleagues and family members) were listened to, and those who spoke up had their careers damaged. Nor will we ever know the details of some of Savile’s wide circle of influential friends, who are known to have ensured he paid off enough police and complainants to escape justice. Practically every country you can think of has similar stories to tell. Well connected people get away with everything whilst alive, then those who can talk mysteriously die. The few who face charges, such as former President of the French National Assembly Andre Le Troquer in the 1959 Ballet Roses scandal, get off lightly because if they had the book thrown at them they would deflect the book to several other people they would no longer have any incentive to protect. Epstein had to go because if he didn’t, too many other people would. He had served his purpose by providing sex slaves, as the documents released just before his death make only too clear. Like many another person who cultivates the well-connected for the wrong reasons, he found that he remains expendable at the end-of-the-day. Questions without answers! The question everyone is asking, including US Attorney General William Barr, is why Epstein was taken off suicide watch and left with little supervision, given the release of those thousands of pages of incriminating documents. The guards on duty, if they were even there, or sleeping, were on extreme overtime shifts. It is too reminiscent of the kidnapping and murder of former Italian Prime Minister Aldo Moro – he had the lowest security of any politician in Rome, no one would negotiate with his kidnappers (though they negotiated in every similar case) and the external agents drafted to help release him were obstructed at every turn by his “friends” in the political establishment, who seemed to be in league with the Red Brigades kidnappers. Epstein had been found unconscious in a cell a few weeks earlier with marks on his neck, apparently from an earlier attempt to take his own life. There is a long history of such instances amongst criminals convicted by the public. Dr. Stephen Ward, the society osteopath at the centre of the UK´s Profumo Affair of the early 1960’s, killed himself by overdose after he was convicted. Fred West, a serial killer, likewise suffocated himself in his cell to avoid being convicted of crimes which had been well publicised, even though his conviction had not yet been secured. There are so many such examples that it is almost as if we are being encouraged to think that this must be just another suicide of a lone criminal. But this is not the only explanation. Take for example the story of Frank Rudolph Olsen, an American bacteriologist, biological warfare scientist and CIA employee who worked at Camp Detrick (now Fort Detrick) in Maryland. He fell to his death from the window of a New York City hotel room. Some — including the US government — consider his death a suicide, while others allege cold blooded murder. All the information is out there, even about scum who were associated with Epstein. At the time of writing, attention is being focused on Ghislaine Maxwell, who might be described as Epstein’s right hand woman in the recruitment and grooming of young girls for sexual abuse. Maxwell is the daughter of the late Robert Maxwell, the notorious crooked newspaper proprietor who had links to Mossad, the CIA, Soviet and Czech intelligence and practically every other dark organisation you can think of. As one door closes, another opens, if only to ensure the other stays shut. Brand of convenience But anyone who alleges anything other than suicide in this case – even if they can be numbered in the tens of millions – will be dismissed as a conspiracy theorist. We have heard all this before too. So much so that it doesn’t seem so terrible a charge, and we lose interest in the implications of it. “Conspiracy theorist” used to mean either “crank” or “person with a bad agenda”. But after Epstein had been indicted, and just before his death, the FBI gave the term a new meaning – “terrorist” as being a domestic threat. Does this matter? Read any newspaper and you will see that it does. If someone is a crank or a person with a bad agenda, they are still entitled to due process … but if they are a terrorist, (at least labelled as) anything goes. In the name of freedom, you and anyone you are associated with can be hunted down and killed, even if Uncle Sam recruited you. Say the wrong word against the official account of Epstein and you can be eliminated on the spot. If this were not going to happen, the FBI, which has the same connections as Epstein, wouldn’t suddenly be interested in this long known phenomenon. Anyone who questions the MSM and official account of anything is deemed a conspiracy theorist by those who write the official stories. Just like those who alleged that Congolese independence leader Patrice Lumumba might have been killed by rogue CIA operatives, who then discovered that President Eisenhower had ordered the killing himself. Like those who said that Herr Klaus Altmann, longtime resident of Bolivia, was Nazi butcher Klaus Barbie, then proved he was. The time has passed when local and even national newspapers would investigate, dig up, muckrake the truth. Now it is spin, paid articles and damage control, all to protect the powers to be—and their royal friends, close associates and fuck buddies. Dead men speak no tales Suicides know each other. Olsen and Epstein were just not the type. Most others in the news were, but not them, and neither was Dr. David Kelly in the UK, that other strange death which results in everyone who questions the official narrative being deemed a conspiracy theorist. Want proof? Read “Silence of the Heart” by David Frith. This is about sportspeople, and particularly cricketers, who have ended it all. Though widely separated by time and circumstance, these unfortunates seem almost a club, united by an indefinable common strain. Try and write up Epstein in the same vein and see if even you are convinced. Just too many things don’t make sense. One of the two persons on watch over Epstein was not even a correctional officer, and went hours without being checked when protocol was to check on him at least every 30 minutes. The higher profile the case, the more procedures are followed to ensure the defendant is alive and well and available for the justice system. Charles Manson was watched day and night. You don’t leave the Epsteins of this world unsupervised unless you don’t want to see them face justice. Rachel Maddow raises many questions about whether the non-prosecution agreement for Jeffrey Epstein and any co-conspirators he may have had, as well as the non-disclosure agreements Epstein made his employees sign, are still valid after Epstein’s death or whether prosecutors will now have new avenues of inquiry as a result. As Manhattan US Attorney Geoffrey S. Berman recently said, “These events, [death in custody] are disturbing, and we are deeply aware of the potential to present yet another hurdle to giving Epstein’s many victims their day in court.” Perhaps now many more victims will come forth, who have previously been intimidated or paid off. The 2007 Miami plea deal is now moot, and in any event, it only applied in Florida. I suspect there will be more suicides, and not only in custody, as too many names were into the young girls. We can start with the passenger list of the Lolita Express. Stanley Kubrick’s 1999 death from a heart attack, just six days after screening a completed Eyes Wide Shut, can be compared by such a conspiracy theorist as myself to the opening of sealed court documents in the Epstein investigation. This should keep the media busy till the next presidential election in 15 months. Besides the ones that we already know about as fellow travellers and sex offenders, I am sure many more worms will soon surface, enough to keep the tabloids and MSM totally distracted. There are hundreds of names on Epstein’s contact “black book” list. Some of the alleged victims have claimed they were farmed out to other men. So it is little wonder that most people are risking summary murder by the US authorities by starting to believe the conspiracy theories which only a case like this could have criminalised them for believing.

[stargazerdaisy]

This is all Kylia's fault

Like seriously.  ALL HER FAULT.  She just had to tag me in this post and then my stupid brain spun off into another dimension and vomited up 1700 words over the course of the day.

THIS IS SO CRACKY I AM ALMOST EMBARRASSED. 

So if you think this is just the stupidest thing you've ever read, blame @kyliafanfiction.  I had no control over this or at all.

Enjoy.  I hope.

Skye is digging through security code for the base, making sure everything is up to snuff.  When she starts noticing some weirdness in the code.  It catches her eye, and let’s face it, it’s new, which makes it interesting.  So she goes digging.  And digging.  And digging.  Because, Skye.  At first it’s just quirked eyebrows.  Then they start to pinch.  Then her brow gets positively furrowed.  By this time, there are mutters escaping intermittently.  Which then turn into sighs, and then, growls.  Finally, she shrieks, “FITZ! GET IN HERE!”

“What now?” he huffs, rolling his eyes at her dramatics.

“I think I found something that honestly, is just completely insane and I’m probably crazy, but I really don’t think I am.  I need you to check it and see if you can tell if it’s real or not.”  Skye steps back from the computer, head tilted, as if reading the code sideways will help it make more sense. 

Fitz slides around her to get a look at the screen, grumbling quietly to himself about how no one can ever do anything without him, and if he wasn’t here, the entire base would collapse under the weight of everyone’s expectations alone, and that’s before we even get to all the structural damage they keep causing.  But as he starts examining the screen, his murmurs slow down and eventually stop mid-sentence.  His mouth hangs open and he can’t even blink.

“No way.  This can’t be…”

“Right?!” Skye screeches.  “You see it too, don’t you?”

“But there’s no way that could be right.  That can’t actually be what’s happening.” Fitz pauses for a moment, then turns to look at his friend.  “Can it?”

“I’m not saying it makes sense, but the code is all there.  I can’t find a flaw with it,” she confirms. 

“Woooooow, I’m going to need to need a minute,” Fitz says, plopping into the chair Skye has just vacated. 

The silence stretches on as they each try to make sense of the information on the computer.  Finally, Skye breaks it.

“So,” she begins, “when and how do we tell them?”

“No, we can’t,” Fitz replies.

“I think we have to,” Skye says.  “Don’t they deserve to know?”

“But will it actually help them?  Will there actually be any value in telling them they have no control over their own lives?”

“Oh Fitz, are you on this again?” Simmons says as she breezes into the room, only having heard the last part of his thought.  “We are not cursed.  We are writing our own destiny, not the other way around.”

Skye and Fitz look at each other in alarm.  Do they set her straight or let her be with her mistaken assumption?

“I don’t know, Jemma,” Elena says, coming in behind her.  “We’ve seen an awful lot of stuff happen that is so crazy, it doesn’t seem like it could have happened without some external force directing it.”

“That doesn’t mean it was pre-destined,” Mack says following his girlfriend.  “If we don’t have power over our own choices, what’s the point?  I’m not about to surrender my agency.  We can change things.”

“But how you would know if you did or did not have agency?  It’s not like characters in a play know that they’re characters in a play.  They think they’re regular people just living their lives.”

“Fitz!” Skye hisses.  “Might that be a little too on the nose?”

Fitz merely shrugs.    

“You’re literally no help,” Skye scowls.  “You tell me we shouldn’t say anything and now we’re having some deep philosophical discussion about free will.”

“Tell us what?” Coulson asks, popping in at an absurdly convenient time, as if it was choreographed. 

“What did you do now?” May pipes in, stern expression as always.

“Oh my gosh, we didn’t do anything!” Skye says exasperatedly.  “I just found some weird stuff when I was going through the security code.”

“And what did you find?” Coulson prompts, when it is clear Skye wasn’t going to elaborate.

She exchanges another look with Fitz.  He shakes his head no, she mouths ‘Please!’ at him, he grimaces and starts gesturing more vehemently to keep quiet, while she gets more animated with her pleas, all the while not a single word is actually spoken. 

Finally, May loses her patience and demands, “Someone better explain what is going on right now.”

Skye swallows guiltily and shoots Fitz one last look.  He throws his hands up in defeat and turns away in frustration. 

“Okay, so, um, you might want to sit down for this,” she starts. 

“Get to the point,” May insists. 

“Fine.  But remember, you asked for it.”  One last deep breath and she launches into her explanation.  “So when I was looking through the code, trying to spot and fix any weak spots, I noticed some weird stuff.  I followed it and well, I’m not sure how to say this, but…  We’re characters in a TV show.”

Stunned silence follows her announcement.  Then, seemingly on cue, the entire group bursts into laughter. 

“Oh Skye, that’s hilarious,” Jemma says.  “As if any of us are interesting enough for a television show.”

Mack guffaws.  “If this was a TV show, people would constantly be making fun of it for how ridiculous it is.”

“Speak for yourself,” Coulson says.  “I am plenty interesting.  Anyone would love to know more about my robot hand and its gadgetry that would make Tony Stark jealous.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Phil,” May says flatly.  But seeing Skye’s irritated expression in response to all the laughter, she asks, “How can you tell, Skye?”

“I know it sounds crazy.  Trust me, I do.  I didn’t believe it either.  I made Fitz come check it with me,” Skye defends herself.  “Tell them Fitz!”

Fitz huffs, but replies.  “It doesn’t make sense.  But the code is there.  I saw what Skye is describing.  She knows code way better than I do, so If I saw and she can describe it, then it’s probably true.”

“So what, this is like the Framework?” Elena asks, her eyes flitting across everyone.  “We’re just simulations?”

“Sort of,” Skye says.  “What’s different is that it’s not running automatically.  In the Framework, Aida had just set up the parameters and algorithms and the program ran itself from there.  This is different.  There is someone, or several someones most likely, intentionally picking and choosing and directing what happens to us.  Like, everything.  For the past 5 or so years.”

The room is quiet once again, but the tension is palpable. 

“You mean someone chose to cut off my arms?” Elena asks angrily.

“Mine too?” Coulson adds, shocked.

“They sent me to space on purpose?! TWICE?!?!” Jemma shrieks.

“And gave me brain damage!” Fitz says.

“And shot me!” Skye cries. 

“And made me dance,” May exclaims, disdain and loathing dripping from every word. 

“So we aren’t real?” Mack says.  “This is making my brain hurt.”

“Like that’s hard, Turtle Man,” Elena snarks. 

“Who are these people that think they can just do this and we’ll have nothing to say?” Coulson demands.

Skye’s mouth twists into a scowl.  “Best I can tell, there are several people involved, but it mostly comes down to two people.  They make all the major decisions and even write a lot of it.  So they’re definitely the ones to blame.”

“Geez, it’s like they get off on torturing people as much as possible,” Simmons complains.  “What the hell is wrong with them?!”

Without warning, Kara, Ward, and Lincoln manifest in the room, as if pulled from beyond the grave.  “WHO DID WHAT NOW?!?!?!” they all scream in unison.

“Ummm…” stammers Skye. 

“Well, that is fucking bullshit,” Kara curses.

“Tell me about it,” Ward glowers.

“I got blown up in a spaceship, just because someone thought it would be entertainment? Are you kidding me?!” Lincoln hisses.

“Look at me!  I basically died three times!” Ward says.

“At least they liked you enough to keep bringing you back,” Lincoln points out. 

“At least they remember you.  They don’t even mention me ever again!” Kara cries.  “I was just a plot point to them, only useful when they needed me to prove something.  And they sucked at that too.”

“As opposed to having you possessed by an alien squid-slug-thing after you have your chest caved in?  -Thanks for that, by the way, Coulson – But, I don’t know.  I probably would have preferred getting forgotten all together.” 

Kara shrugs noncommittally.  Either option seems pretty crappy. 

“Well, this is freaking depressing,” Fitz says.  Everyone nods glumly in agreement.

After a moment, Coulson speaks.  “To think, all of this craziness: Hydra coming out of the shadows – thanks for that, Ward – to Skye’s crazy parents to the Inhumans to Radcliffe and Aida and now going to the future and coming back; none of it was happenstance.  It was all on purpose.  Just…..wow.”

“At least you got brought back to life,” Kara mutters under her breath.  The couple people closest to her, Lincoln and Skye snicker but try to hide it. 

The group lapses into quiet as they each contemplate what this information means for them.  Moments of enlightenment flicker across their faces one by one, as they remember some other event or instance where they had thought it was just luck – good or bad.  How those recognitions built up emotionally varies.  Bewilderment and confusion reign for some, others are angry and seething, more still are somewhere in between.  Fear is a significant factor for all of them.  If all of this had happened already, what will be coming next? 

“It’s even worse, you guys,” Fitz says, realization suddenly dawning on him.  Everyone turns to look at him.  “They kills dogs.”

It is so silent you could hear a pin drop.  No one dares to breathe.  Evocative of a school of fish, they all turn slowly, in perfect synchronization, towards a single point.  Almost like...they were looking at a camera.

“I’ll kill them,” May hisses.

“Not if I get there first!” Ward bellows.

And just like that, they all took off in a charge, scrambling to get to their tormentors and make them regret ever daring to mess with them. 

[ihardwaretech]

Common Windows Problems and How to Fix Them

Working with Windows is very functional and convenient. However, because of its high functionality, the system tends to work with a lot of applications and programs all at once, which can be the source of unexpected computer issues. There are a handful of Windows problems that you will encounter. The good thing is that they can now be repaired manually without being a tech-savvy. Here are some of the most common Windows problems and the methods on how they can be fixed. 1. Slow computer. First thing you need to know is if your unit is the source of the problem. Problems with sluggish video buffering and webpage browsing are mistakenly blamed to the computer, when it is not its fault. It is primarily caused by a slow internet connection. If you are experiencing slow Windows shutdown, hanging or crashing applications, or slowly-executing or staggering basic computer functions, then this might be caused by an error in the system. To fix this, you can check your hard drive for possible corruptions, or if it is running out of space enough to affect your PC's performance. Update it by removing unnecessary files and programs to free up some space. 2. Computer keeps on restarting. This is normal if you are running a Windows Update since it automatically restarts your computer when initiated. However, if it keeps on restarting for no particular reason, then action should be taken immediately to fix this issue. A computer restart can be caused by a software or hardware issue. This might be coming from problems with graphic cards and system drivers. It can also be caused by a malware attack. To fix this, update your device drivers to ensure that they are working properly. Another one is to do a full computer scan to isolate viruses that are affecting your files. 3. Random sounds are heard, or no sound is heard, at all. If you are hearing weird noises coming from your computer, then you don't have to worry that much as cleaning is what you need to do. On the other hand, if you can't hear sounds, you can do a Windows search to open the Sounds menu. You can change settings from the playback tab as it may have been accidentally changed. If you are using external speakers, you must set your speakers as the default device. You could also test your external speakers by plugging the 3.5mm jack to a similar port, such as the earphone or headset ports of most modern phones. If sound problems still persist, then there must be a problem either with your device drivers or the 3.5mm port, which should be updated or checked immediately. 4. Cannot execute a basic function like printing. If your printer driver is updated and there is enough paper and ink in your printer, you can try to turn the device on and off. Also, check your Windows settings if your printer is set as the default device. Make sure that the Use Printer Offline option is not checked. 5. Blue Screen of Death ("BSOD") Once this problem occurs, your Windows system functions are affected. To fix this, you must first locate the file that is causing the problem. You can try repairing or uninstalling the file, then reinstall it with an updated version. If the problem still exists, then you might consider changing your hardware as this may be causing the "BSoDs". 6. Cursor does not move or show. If you can't see the mouse cursor or it does not move, it is advised to shut down your Windows operating system to ensure that the mouse is well-plugged into the port before restarting your computer. If this method does not work, you can flip your mouse over and clean it as the dust might be the reason why your mouse isn't working well. 7. Windows suddenly locks down. When your Windows operating system hangs or freezes, there might be a problem with the system process. You can try fixing it by checking your computer's registry entries. Since this part is very technical, you can install a registry cleaner that will do the scanning and fixing for your system. 8. A certain program does not run in your computer. This might be caused by a Windows operating system incompatibility. There are programs and applications that are not supported by older versions of Windows. You can fix this by updating your Windows system to a newer version. These are just some of the common problems that you may encounter with your Windows. Repairing them with the troubleshooting ways mentioned can help you, but if they seem to be hard for you to do, then you might consider professional help to avoid serious problems occurring in the future.