#went grunge or rock until he was established

[red-bat-arse]

steddie musician AU where Eddie makes it big after s4 and invites Robin and Steve to live with him in Chicago so he can tour and always have a home base -and now he has the resources to buy a bit more for himself so he makes sure a good studio space gets installed in the house

and ofc Robin's already musically inclined so she likes to help Eddie fuck around with weird trumpet solos for experimental songs, and Steve learnt piano as a kid but never had the opportunity to get creative with it -so when Eddie's gone and Robin's in class, he putters around the studio, learning guitar from Eddie's books and adapting to a keyboard and having fun with synths and singing. that lack of expectations and freedom to have fun is what trips him into making his own music

he puts together a few songs and asks Nancy to listen to them -he knows she'll be honest about whether he's wasting his time with this, since he at least wants to make music Robin or Eddie could give a pass to. but to his surprise she tells him he's good, and if he wanted to he could make a little extra money playing alternative nights at clubs. needing a second, more objective from a personal connection standpoint, opinion, he asks Argyle, who actually worked at a record store for a bit

Argyle, without asking bc he thought it went without saying, passes the cassette on to a few buddies of his in the local live music scene and later introduces them to Steve when they want to have him at one of their regular places. Steve goes with Robin who he asks not to tell anyone -he doesn't want to distract Eddie while the guy's making a big name of himself, and maybe Steve feels embarrassed or inadequate about being late to the game and doing it as a hobby, so he also uses a pseudonym. 'Zdev' maybe, if we want to parallel 'Djo'

he finds out he really likes it, so he starts doing small gigs for bars or parties Jonathan connects him with. puts a short album on cassette that he recorded at home, has fun with it even as the songs become more personal. but by then 'Zdev' has a little local fame and one of his cassettes is picked up by some label and they reach out -Steve definitely doesn't expect it, because psychedelic rock kind of faded from radio play after the 70s, but now he's being faced with a record deal he isn't sure he wants and no idea how to handle it

so he calls Eddie, who comes racing back from recording with the band out in LA, thankfully not ditching at too inconvenient a point

and Eddie nearly doesn't believe it at first but once he gets his hands on a tape so he can get an idea of the sound, he's obsessed. while he's a metalhead to the core, he's never heard Steve sing before (let's use twenty twenty as the album here) and there's something about the way Steve ties the groove to a sense of melancholy that digs into his skull. it also doesn't help that some of the songs set off alarm bells bc they talk about loving a girl or packing up and leaving or feeling adrift and they make him want to stick as close as possible lest they turn out to be true

he helps Steve through it, pretty well versed in the industry by now (i'm thinking its about 5 years post Vecna) but he's quietly worrying over the album's content the whole time. they go through the re-recording process, which ofc Eddie really wants to hear, but with Steve still being embarrassed he doesn't end up sitting in on any; but they talk over each song before and after and its so easy to drift back into hinting at the mutual attraction they'd each independently resigned to pass them by, back when Eddie first moved away after 86. and eventually it comes out that the album was Steve's way of, yeah, having fun, but also exorcising feelings from his past in Hawkins. that there's only one song that's really about his life now, and he didn't put it on the cassette but he's planning on including it on the LP

by now its pretty obvious to Steve that Eddie is flirting back, not to mention the guy put a hold on recording his own work to help Steve out, which is easy to read into. so he finally invites Eddie to sit in for the recording of the last song, which he's hoping will be subtle enough that he can bluff if it doesn't go well, but if Eddie is on the same page, it'll be clear. the song he plays is Mutual Future (Repeat)

it's got a long winding intro of just guitar that Eddie sits through, unaware, and Steve starts singing low, almost just his speaking voice the croon is so subtle, and when he meets Eddie's eyes through the glass to ask will you be mine?

well, Eddie gets it. and while there's not a lot of privacy in a recording studio, he eventually finds a small filing room he can kiss Steve stupid in until quitting time for the day comes and goes

[scrfiice]

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫     BONES AND ALL is a South Korean idol band managed by MYDOL ENTERTAINMENT. Originally, the band debuted in 2016 under Flowerbank Entertainment with an original five-member lineup of Juwon, Hana, Ari, Charlie, and Wei. Though the group managed to garner some success, after the messy departure of Charlie and Hana, the group fell into inactivity and presumably silently disbanded. That was until 2020 came around, and none of the members resigned from Flowerbank Entertainment, instead signing with ANGELICO Entertainment in 2020, where the group would get a new breath of life and three new members: Cherry, Roxie, and Yujun.

Under Angelico, the group would finally flourish, becoming their most successful band act by the end of 2021. They would also garner international success, going on multiple world tours and even opening for groups such as 5 Seconds of Summer and The 1975. In 2022, Yujun departed from the group to pursue acting, leaving them with rotating drummers for a handful of their shows until Jiho left his group, Cicada, to officially join Bones and All as their permanent drummer.

After the former CEO of Angelico, Son Jinhwa, stepped down from his position and established a new company, Mydol Entertainment, all six members of Bones and All left Angelico Entertainment and signed with Mydol Entertainment in 2024 after its official opening. Currently, the group is one of the most successful K-bands in the industry right now, known for their visceral storytelling and ever-evolving sound.

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫     KANG JUWON was born in 1994 in Busan, South Korea. Juwon always had a passion for music since he was a young child, though his parents never cared for his musical talents. Instead, they insisted he go to college and get a degree in civil engineering. While studying at university, Juwon met Ari Turai, a foreign exchange student who was studying music. The pair would quickly form a close friendship, later deciding to make a band together, recruiting Ari's friends, Charlie King and Hana Bae. Juwon would recruit Wei from social media after seeing a video of her playing her violin on Instagram Live. As the indie band began to gain traction, Juwon's focus shifted from his studies to his music, much to the disappointment of his parents.

When the group was signed to Flowerbank Entertainment in 2018, Juwon, Ari, and Charlie dropped out of university to fully pursue music. This resulted in Juwon's parents cutting off all contact with him. Despite this, Juwon's career would flourish, with Bones and All hitting new records on every comeback. Juwon would become a well-respected songwriter, composer, and bassist in the entertainment industry.

In 2020, it was revealed that Juwon was dating world-famous idol Jung Yoonah, AKA Baebi. The pair now live together and own a corgi together.

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫full name: Kang Juwon

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫birthday: march 14, 1994

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ birthplace: busan, south korea

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ position: frontman, bassist, main vocalist

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ height: 185 cm || 6′1

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ ethnicity: korean

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ faceclaim: young mazino

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫     CHARLOTTE "CHERRY" KIM was born in 1999 in Chicago. Cherry's career started when she was sixteen, being a member of a grunge rock band, DOLLEYES. Cherry experienced a lot of mistreatment from managers and higher-ups while in Dolleyes, and many of the older people around her took advantage of her and wanted to be famous. Dolleyes only seemed to be popular on social media, as the group often struggled to sell out even small venues.

Due to their lack of success, Cherry would leave DOLLEYES in 2017 and become a soloist. Now 18, the label she was under pushed for a more "mature" image, giving Cherry a "good girl gone bad" concept she was never truly comfortable with but went through with anyways. Cherry would collect a small yet cult-like fanbase with her spotty solo career.

Cherry would toss all that to the curb, however, when approached by Son Jinhwa to join Bones and All in 2020. Desperate to be famous and to get back in touch with her musical roots, Cherry would join BNA in 2020 for their rebrand.

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫full name: Charlotte "Cherry" Kim

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫birthday: november 4, 2000

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ birthplace: chicago, illinois

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ position: main vocalist, guitarist, face of the group

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ former groups: DOLLEYES ( 2014 - 2017 )

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ height: 162 cm || 5′4

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ ethnicity: korean

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ faceclaim: kim minjeong 

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫     ARI TUREI was born in 1996 in Mount Druitt, Australia. Ari has always been "whimsical" according to his mother, wandering around the neighborhood for hours collecting sticks and rocks, insisting he was going to build a house out of them. Not only was Ari in love with the world around him, but he was also insanely gifted in anything he picked up. School was a breeze for him, passing all his exams with barely any struggle and graduating at the top of his class. On top of his academic success, Ari was also extremely talented with anything music. Put an instrument in front of him, give him an hour, and he'll know how to play by the time you get back.

Wanting to see the world, Ari would apply for a foreign exchange program to study music in South Korea. This was meant to be a temporary thing, a year-long trip that he could tell his kids about one day, but upon meeting Kang Juwon, Charlie King, and Bae Hana, that would quickly change. Ari has said that he's never felt a connection with people like he did with them and knew he couldn't leave them after just a year.

Despite the bumps in the road, Ari would stay loyal to Bones and All, constantly working on improving their career and music. He's called the band "his child" on multiple occasions, dedicated to the cause until the very end. He would be one of the temporary drummers during their search for a new one in 2022, only acting as one for two shows as he found it "too tiring and loud," though he was praised for learning how to play the drums in a span of two weeks.

Ari is a well-respected and awarded composer and producer in the music industry, often experimenting with artists and genres across the board.

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫full name: Ari Turei

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫birthday: september 8, 1996

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ birthplace: mount druitt, australia

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ position: lead vocalist, guitarist, producer

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ height: 185 cm || 6′1

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ ethnicity: māori-scottish 

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ faceclaim: calum hood

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ JEON JIHO was born in 1997 in Seoul, South Korea. His father, the only one to raise him as his mother was never in the picture, often sent him to child modeling or acting auditions in hopes of getting some cash off his only son's back. From the ages of 6 to 14, he would be a child actor and model despite utterly hating it. It never mattered what he had to say, as his father didn't care about Jiho's well-being; instead, he only cared about how much money he would bring to the table after every gig.

When he was just sixteen, Jiho filed for emancipation from his father, stating financial and other forms of abuse from him. After a lengthy court battle, at age seventeen, Jiho would be emancipated from his father and cut off all contact with him. With the money he earned from acting, Jiho would attend university and obtain a degree in social sciences.

When Jiho returned to the industry in 2020, Jiho would return to the entertainment industry first as an actor under Angelico Entertainment, then debuting in the boy group Cicada. Jiho never liked being in Cicada, as he says most of the members didn't get along with one another, and he hated the music they would make.

Jiho would silently leave Cicada in 2022, just eight months before their abrupt disbandment. Many saw this as him jumping the ship early, while others saw it as him abandoning his team, calling him a coward.

Soon after his departure from Cicada, he would join Bones and All as their permanent drummer. Jiho has gone on the record many times saying he's a much better drummer than he was an idol, saying if he ever had to dance again, he'd break his ankles. Clearly having a passion for music, he was rarely allowed to dabble in, Jiho is thriving in Bones and All.

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫full name: Jean Jiho

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫birthday: september 22nd, 1997

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ birthplace: seoul, south korea

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ position: drummer and vocalist

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ former groups: Cicada ( 2020 - 2022 )

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ height: 188 cm || 6′2

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ ethnicity: korean

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ faceclaim: lee sangyeon 

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ ROXIE PEREZ was born in 1998 in Los Angeles, California. She is the twin of Phoebe Perez of the girl band Rule of Rose. The twins were originally in a duo together called The Hex Project, making music in their closet via Bandcamp and posting their songs to SoundCloud to little attention. However, the duo would take off after one of their songs would go viral on Vine.

Soon, The Hex Project would take over the 2015 social media landscape, performing at conventions like Digitour, Playlist Live, and Vidcon. The twins would also perform at festivals such as Warped Tour and Lollapalooza later in their career, garnering a strong and steadily growing fanbase. Despite seemingly about to hit their peak in 2020, the pair would split abruptly, with Roxie canceling her contract with their record label, selling her home in LA, and leaving the country without telling anyone to move to South Korea, where she would pop back up in Bones and All.

Now, she admits the decision was abrupt and emotionally driven but has still never explained what happened between her and her sister. Despite the decision to join Bones and All being emotionally charged, she's happy to have joined the group, calling them her family and insisting she wouldn't trade them for the world.

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫full name: Roxie Perez

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫birthday: september 22nd, 1998

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ birthplace: los angeles, california

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ position: guitarist , songwriter, and vocalist

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ former groups: The Hex Project ( 2013 - 2020 )

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ height: 160 cm || 5′3

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ ethnicity: latina

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ faceclaim: almondmilkhunni

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫     JIANG WEI was born in 1999 in Chengdu, China. She moved to South Korea in 2010 for her father's work, where she attended a music academy in her youth due to her mother who often controlled everything she did. Wei showed incredible skill in playing the cello and piano, becoming a mini-celebrity in the classical music sphere as a teen due to her winning multiple high-ranking competitions at such a young age.

However, once she hit college, she hit a wall with her music, changing her degree from music to social work and beginning to hate the piano. This deeply upset her mother and resulted in the pair not speaking for a handful of years, even after she began making music again. She joined Bones and All after Kang Juwon begged her to in 2018, refusing to play the piano still but instead playing the guitar and singing with Hana.

It wasn't until the departure of Hana and Charlie that Wei finally began playing the piano again, becoming the band's keyboardist and pianist once they signed with Angelico Entertainment. Arguably, Wei is much more known for her visuals and odd personality than her exceptional talents on the piano, which she doesn't mind. She would rather be known for being quirky than a great pianist.

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫full name: Jiang Wei

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫birthday: December 24, 1999

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ birthplace: Chengdu, China

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ position: lead vocalist, pianist, cellist

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ height: 152 cm || 5′2

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ ethnicity: taiwanese

𖥻 𓂃 ࣪˖ 𖦹 ۫ faceclaim: nana ouyang

[amphtaminedreams]

Sitting Front Row at...(On a Budget Obvs): Lookbook no.15

Hey to anyone reading!

And welcome to my fave lookbook I’ve done in a longggg ass time! Yes, that’s partially because it involved making collages and doing the low effort work of scouring Vogue Runway for “research purposes”, but I promise, that statement wasn’t made out of COMPLETE laziness-I am super happy with it too. It’s been a good use of pre-part-lockdown-lift time in the interim between that brief period of Christmas celebrations and eateries finally fucking opening again because let’s be honest, I always knew I was gonna get distracted by oat milk vanilla lattes and veggie all day breakfasts once I could actually sit down with them at my fave local cafe. You could say I was very much operating on a self-imposed deadline.

The “what I would wear to sit front row at...[insert designer here]” TikTok/Instagram reel trend was something I wanted to get on board with ever since I first saw one and whilst the option of doing my own live action take-I really cannot bear the thought of having to edit footage of myself awkwardly attempting to sit nonchalantly in front of a camera for hours on end-was off the cards considering my complete lack of screen presence, I decided a Tumblr text post would work just as well, and if not even better in a way. Given the absence of the time limitations you face when you’re making a reel or a TikTok I thought it’d be cool to present the looks as part of a mini moodboard for each designer which adds a bit of context to each look even if you aren’t familiar with their past collections and establishes the general vibe of the brand I’m attempting to replicate. Not to sound snotty or as if I am the font of all knowledge on anything high fashion related but even with my amateur knowledge I noticed that as the video trend took off and was adopted by big name influencers, it became less about the average person putting their own personal spin on the aesthetic of the labels we can’t ordinarily afford and more about them building outfits that only vaguely resemble the general public perception of the brand around the real corresponding (and often gifted and thus inaccessible to someone who doesn’t makes thousands for a sponsored post) pieces they own SO I thought I’d take the trend back to its roots and get a bit resourceful. All that being said, in no particular order, here are the outfits I would wear to sit front row at Gucci, Vera Wang, Miu-Miu, Marc Jacobs, Dolce & Gabbana, Brock Collection, Alexander McQueen, Etro, Burberry aaaand Saint Laurent based on their past collections and guess what? They didn’t cost a shit tonne of money :-)

-disclaimer: will include an asterisk before any new purchases if from a high street store though to be honest, I don’t think there are any, we shall see! I do include where I got old purchases from in case anyone wants to search anything on Depop/Ebay-

1. Saint Laurent (formerly Yves Saint Laurent)

-blazer from identityparty on Depop, pleather trousers from Zara, jewellery from Dolls Kill-

I know technically abbreviating Saint Laurent to YSL doesn’t really make much sense anymore given the brand’s name change in 2012, but I’ll always think of it as that in the same way I’ll always associate it with the slightly dishevelled yet simultaneously glitzy rock n’ roll aesthetic. The thing is, whilst YSL hasn’t done anything wildly out of the box for a long time, it’s rare they put a look on the runway that I wouldn’t wear; they never end up being a fashion week standout but the Parisienne take on grunge we’ve seen Anthony Vaccarello establish as his go-to will always have a place in my heart. 

2. Alexander McQueen

-embroidered leather jacket from Ebay (originally Topshop), harness from Amazon, dress from ASOS, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

Alexander McQueen is a brand that is pretty much universally liked, from the historically extravagant and groundbreaking shows the man himself put together to Sarah Burton’s more toned down but still beautiful collections. Obviously I didn’t attempt to do justice to the former, so I tried my hand at putting together a look inspired by Sarah’s blend of delicate femininity and nomadic edge, and it went...okay? Like it’s definitely not my favourite of all the looks because it does give off slightly cheap copycat vibes buuut outside of the context of this lookbook it’s cute.

3. Brock Collection

-boater hat from Ebay, midi skirt from morganogle on Depop, corset top from ownmode_, heels from amybeckett1, bag from Primark-

Brock isn’t as well known a brand as most of the others in this list but I adore everything Laura Vassar Brock does and I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to try and channel the vision of one of the OG pioneers of the cottagecore vibe through my own wardrobe. I mean fr, this woman’s work as a steady provider of meadow photoshoot worthy dresses and corsets and skirts is v slept on and I will not stand for it. I will sit in front of a camera and then write a paragraph in my blog post begging anybody who reads to give LVB (an abbreviation I acknowledge is unlikely to catch on because Lisa Vanderpump anybody?) some form of acknowledgement for her services to period romance novel inspired moodboards everywhere.

4. Marc Jacobs

-coat from House of Sunny, white shirt from Retro World Camden, co-ord from Sugar Thrillz, bag from Poppy Lissiman-

If there’s one thing Marc Jacobs always does, it’s COMMITS. TO. HIS. THEME. I just KNOW he has a secret Pinterest with separate boards for every fashion era of the 20th century and he is putting those boards to good use providing us with collections that are as immersive as they are eclectic year in year out. 

5. Miu Miu

-beret from H&M, hair clips from H&M, jewellery from Primark, coat from mollyyemmaa on Depop, shirt from YesStyle, sweater vest from YesStyle, skirt from Depop, diamanté belt from Brandy Melville, shoes from Koi Vegan Footwear-

We all like to talk about Bratz dolls and Monster High dolls and Barbies as fashion inspo but can we all focus on Cabbage Patch dolls for two secs so as to acknowledge the fact that a Miu Miu collection is basically all their fits grown up? And made boujie as fuck? If I want my fix of Wes Anderson meets Scream Queens (what a combo) inspired outfits, if I want prissy and girlish but also glam, if I want to look like a bratty rich girl whose one redeeming quality is her eye for vintage clothes, I know where to look and that is the Miu Miu section of Vogue Runway. 

6. Vera Wang

-blazer as in no.1, velvet bralet from catdegaris on Depop, harness from Amazon, skirt from Ebay, knee high socks from Ebay, lace up boots from Ebay-

Vera Wang’s RTW aesthetic, a blend of the ethereal, ultra-feminine bridal designs she’s known for and British style punk rock influences, is something I feel has only become firmly established in recent years but it is everything I ever wanted and more. I always find myself trying to balance the part of me that loves everything girly and delicate and pretty and the part of me that would love to be in a biker gang and Vera’s collections are always an inspirational reminder of just how well it can be done.

7. Burberry

-coat from charity shop, suit from emmafisher3 on Depop, top from simranindia, shirt underneath from Zara, jewellery from ASOS-

Now I’m not gonna lie, I’m not the biggest fan of Burberry but there have been a few looks over the past few years I’ve really liked and as someone who owns numerous trench coats, high necks and way too much plaid, I thought it’d be an easy one to replicate. Plus, if you can count on Riccardo Tisci for nothing else you at least can rely on him giving you some layering inspo which is very much needed in a country where it literally just snowed in April and where my plans for today have just been cancelled because the iPhone weather app did a Karen Smith and didn’t predict rain for today right up until it started raining so thanks for that one British meteorologists. Your incompetence strikes again.

8. Etro

-corset from Urban Outfitters, vinyl trench coat from Topshop, boots from Ebay, black slip dress from kaoanaoleinik on Depop, fur trim afghan coat from louisemarcella-

Like with Brock Collection, Etro isn’t a hugely well known brand, but it is always one of my favourites-to add a spanner into the works of any attempts to cultivate a firm sense of personal style, I live for the ornate Bohemian look that Etro does so well just as much as I love both grungy and girly pieces, and so I really wanted to include a brand whose collections go down that route. It was a toss-up between this and Zimmerman, the flirtier, free spirit counterpart to the dark romance of Veronica Etro’s designs; her vision really shines through the most when it comes to the brand’s winter collections, imo, and given that I live in a country where winter or some weather state resembling it does seem to take up 70% of the year, I did decide on channelling her work rather than that of the equally talented Nicky and Simone Zimmermann this time round.

9. Dolce & Gabbana

-flower crown from ASOS, tiara from Amazon, earrings from YesStyle, dress from alicealderdice1 on Depop, opera gloves from Ebay, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

D&G is a brand I felt really conflicted about doing-I don’t include their current collections in my fashion week reviews based on the actions of designers Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce over the last few years because I don’t want to mitigate the collective effort of fashion critics to push them towards irrelevancy. Though people like to claim the brand has turned a corner since Lucio Di Rosa was brought on board as the manager of celebrity and VIP relations last year (they are as prolific a force on red carpet fashion as ever), we haven’t seen any real meaningful apologies or reparations made by Dolce and Gabbana themselves which once again leaves us in the all too familiar quandary of whether or not we can separate the art from the artist especially when it is far too much of a simplification to only credit the two men for their work given there’s a whole design team behind them. There are a LOT of shitty people working in fashion, the whole industry is a bit of a cesspit if we’re honest, but I don’t think that should stop us from at least being able to appreciate old collections if we make sure we aren’t engaging in any kind of promotion of current works whilst doing so. D&G are a brand of high highs and low lows, with looks that range from hideously ugly to showstoppingly beautiful in a single show-when the looks are good, they are GOOD-and their presence in the fashion world is most definitely felt whether we want it to be or not. It would just be shit to refuse to recognise the existence of some real iconic runway moments, the practical work that went into the ornate detail and opulence that helped cement D&Gs place in sartorial history, the styling that’s made goddesses and fairytale queens out of modern day women as they’ve glided down catwalks, the far more extravagant and, let’s be real, sexier version of our world D&G shows have transported us to in the past. Will I talk about D&G ever again? No, and if you Google the scandals their brand has faced over the past few years, there are more than enough reasons why, but just this once I did want to pay homage to some of the collections, the snippets of which I saw on my Tumblr dashboard back when I was about 13, that first got me into fashion.

10. Gucci

-fur coat from Topshop, clips from Zaful, glasses from Ebay, dress from gracewright246 on Depop, shirt from Boohoo, blazer from charity shop-

Now last but, if you ever read any of my fashion week reviews (the likelihood of someone actually having read one of them and reading this is incredibly, incredibly slim lol, I wouldn’t read me either) you’ll know, definitely not least, is Gucci because Alessandro Michele comes through every!! single!! time!!

The man is truly the king of quirky throwback maximalism and it hurts my heart that a lot of people seem to think of it only as a brand associated with ostentatious displays of wealth. Year after year since Michele was made creative director he has released purposeful, fully-fleshed out collections which unravel themselves to us on the runway like time capsules containing the belongings of the rich and whimsical and yes that can sometimes result in outfits which are *ahem* a bit mismatched but it doesn’t matter because through fashion he manages to take us to a vivid version of the past where people could dress as freely and lavishly as they wanted to, into the wardrobe of a person unaffected by the side-eyeing of others. You get the impression he doesn’t design so much as plays around with some kind of enchanted dress up box and takes inspiration from there and to give that impression is only a credit to his talent-to make outfits so kooky and extravagant look like they were meant to be takes a boldness and genuine love for clothes that I do tend to feel a lot of the big name designers have lost in the pursuit of profit and the necessary placating of the dying customer base that keeps that coming in. Of course I'm not for a second saying Gucci does not care about profit, but at the very least, they have on board a creative director who genuinely has fun with what they’re putting out there and wants to make a statement too and that really shows; you can rest on your laurels and sell tweed boucle jackets to rich old white women for eternity but nobody’s going to mention your brand name and the word groundbreaking in the same sentence ever again unless they’re talking about what it was a century ago, you know (mentioning no names...unless...did I hear someone say Chanel)? That feels like such a shady way to end, lol, but I’m sure said brand will survive-to be fair, they’ve been included in every other What I’d Wear to Sit Front Row At video I’ve seen so although I’m always slagging them off for doing the saaaaame thinggggg year after year, for that same reason their aesthetic is instantly recognisable and so will always be a source of imitation. There are obviously pros and cons to being a brand which constantly reinvents itself but I think it’s totally possible to do that whilst maintaining an overall mission, and Alessandro Michele’s work at Gucci demonstrates that with ease.

Anyway, if you got to here, thanks for reading! I know I’m super behind on this whole TikTok trend and I know a Tumblr post instead of a video is a bit of a cop out but all the real, physically awkward ones out there know that watching yourself back is excruciating lmao, so I hope this does the trick. After this, I’m gonna get back to the reviewing S/S21 collections post though knowing me I’ll probs take a few days to get back into that because I feel like since I left full-time education (RIP me going back in a few months) writing continuously like this for any longer than about 15 mins fries what brain cells I have left. Again, thank you for reading and if you are, sending many good vibes your way! Stay safe!

Lauren x

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

TOSHIYA PERSONAL INTERVIEW SPECIAL HEADBANG VOL.27 TRANSLATION 2/2

The upcoming new chapter of the bassist who established himself while evolving his playing style in the middle of fierce battles he experienced overseas. “When it comes to digital releases, it just feels like data” “I don't think there is another album that makes me want to die so much inside while I’m listening to it as this one (laughs).“ “If I have the opportunity to do music out of DIR EN GREY, this is the genre I want to try “ “If there's a world in front of you that you didn't know before, look at it, and if there's something you think that would be even better, you can pick it and bring it home.”

Notes before reading:  This is the second part of personal interview of Toshiya from the magazine Headbang Vol.27 released on 18th August.  The interview is 11 pages long, this part covers the last 5 and a half. You can read the first part here. You can get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan.  Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.  

----- ----

Text by Hiroko Goto (First part here) - Even as the start of a new chapter, I think it will be a great time for those who have been waiting for it. I’m looking forward to the reactions towards the new single.

T: That’s right. Also, this time, it’s the first time we are releasing a single in this way, so I wonder how is going to feel. It’s a little wait-and-see.

-Because Dir en grey have never been available in almost any music streaming services before too. This time, are you releasing the single in this format due to Corona?

T: That’s right. Originally, we tried to put it out as a physical one.

-I see. Do you see this digital release format as something positive?

T: I have no choice but to think positively for the time being (laughs)  Because if we release a single, and it’s not going to listened, there is no point on doing it but, after all, as we do it, if there is a way for people to listen to it, I think it should be used. However, to use any method to release it because there is a way to do it, I think that’s different for me. While we were carefully checking those aspects, I think I would like to take into consideration several things. Simply, because I’m a coward (laughs). It’s kind of scary because I feel like the songs are all over and the songs are our best asset. After all, I want to cherish/value them. Of course, I think there are many positive things in distributing them but now that we are doing it, I think we must distinguish between plus and minus sides of it. -Especially for Dir en grey, the package is usually elaborated and you can also feel the sense of commitment/pickiness on it.

T: That’s right. When it comes to digital releases, it just feels like data. So that’s why it’s a matter of the value of the things. The value that you can give it them, or the level that you can take it at. I would like to think about the future as I’m looking at this release.

-After this single, what direction do you want to move towards from now on as a part of Dir en grey?

T: As a band, while constantly incorporating what seems new to us, we want to challenge both, our activities, and songs. Right now, once again, we want to try it with the feeling that Dir en grey can do anything。

-I see. Comparing yourself to the Toshiya from the past, you have a better judgement about what you can do and what you can't, and you want to think about it properly. Each member thinks that way as well, so I think it would be nice if you could absorb each one’s good points and bring it to the band. Nevertheless, as everyone simply has a different age, a different personality, and the environment in which you grew up is different, I think there are different things that each of you want to do. Among them, for me, I don't think it's necessary for each of you to achieve 100% of what each one of you wants to do. Combining several % well, I think you are a band that eventually will reach the 100%. If you can keep that way, there  will  simply always be an interesting taste and you can keep being an exciting band.

“The first band I came across was Guns N' Roses. It was an encounter that felt like ‘what on Earth is this?”

-From here, I would like to ask you about the 'Inspirational albums'  you have selected and approach your personality when it comes to music. Personally, I feel that your musical tastes are less visible than the other four members.

T: Hahaha. I get that a lot (laughs).

-Are you aware about the things that are not appealing to you?

T: I am. I mean, I know what I like, but I don’t know why I like it (laughs) Basically, I like music.

-You chose 20 albums in particular, what was your criteria in order to choose those?

T: I simply chose these ones because I think these might the ones, I was listening to at the time I was more sensitive/impressionable by music.

-There are a lot of works from the 80's and 90's as a whole, Were you listening to these before you got in the band? T: There are also some that are after the formation of the band and I also include some that I was listening to before playing in the band. There are many from the time when the band was formed, and we made our debut.

-The genres are quite wide, it’s firmly pressed line-up to of iconic masterpieces. In what specific areas have you been affected by them?

T: For example, Guns N'Roses 'Appetite for Destruction' (1987), when I was in middle school, I was like ‘What on earth is this?’ when I came across them. It was a time when LA metal (80s metal/glam metal) was popular. Van Hale was also very popular, and Europe's "The Final Countdown" was being played all around. That's how I met Guns, but the first thing I heard was 'Use your Illusion I','II' (1991). Then, I heard there were more amazing (from them) albums before those, so I listened to 'Appetite for Destruction'.

-When you came across Guns N’ Roses, did you think "the band is cool"?

T: It’s a very stupid idea but, it was a time in which music was equal to delinquency, and live houses had the image of being a sink/den of iniquity* (laughs). At first, I was like ‘What is this?’ and then I got interested. Including such an atmosphere, I think it was cool and I had a strong sense of admiration.

*a place where immoral or illegal things are done.

-When you go from there in chronological order, what kind of transition are you going through?  In your selection, there are a lot of grunge (albums) too.

T: That’s right. Exactly after that, the wave of grunge came. But if you say which one is the one ruling the movement,  for me it’s not Nirvana. When I dug down while listening to that genre, I personally fell in love with Pixies. It was a time in which listening to one artist made us feel more connected. Here and here there would be good friends, here and here there would be people that you don’t get along with. I got worried about that when I listened to them. I went to see Pixies’ performance in Japan a few years ago and it was really good. If I have to say something about that time, at the Pixies live, the lighting goes red through one song and it's just red.I was impressed by the effect of only using that colour in the scene. After that, when we talked about what kind of production we wanted to do on our tour, I said "I went to see Pixies and I  said “ I want to do this in the same way because such lighting was interesting" (laughs)

-Is that so?

T: It's a band that's influenced me from that perspective.

“I had a friend who liked thrash metal. He told me that this kind of music existed”

-While there is a trend from hard rock to grunge, on the other hand, there are also metal elements  you are interested in such as Metallica's “Master of Puppets” (1986) and Pantera's “Vulgar Display of Power” (1992), which are known as masterpieces. When did this kind of metal music get into your life?

T:  When I was in high school. At that time, I had friends who liked Metallica and slash metal such as Pantera and Slayer. I learnt  this music existed, and I started listening to it.

-This didn’t come to my mind until now but, in fact, some of them can be called the roots of metal.

T: Yeah, I really liked it. I also liked to listen to the band that guitaris Steve Vai made as a solo band under his name (Vai). When I was in high school, I had a lifetime friend who was shredding his guitar and looked like a bakateru* guitarist (laughs). I had a lot of fun. *Bakateru (A Japanese made-up word from  “baka” and “techniques”) is a person who plays an instrument using simple/stupid techniques that made them look like professional players.

-That’s good (laughs) While there are hard rock and metal in your choices, the overall impression is that there are many bands and works with a slightly downer atmosphere.

T: Certainly, I think I like downer style a little (laughs).  Stone Temple Pilots has also a part of hard Rock and a strong grunge effect, bit I like the indescribable downer feeling. Then, I chose Alice in Chains for the selection. Alice in Chains is another downer band that I like. When I first heard it, I couldn't understand it at all. I didn't even know what was good about them (laughs) From them, I like Dirt (1992) which I chose this time for the selection.

-By the way, it has the same name as your apparel brand….

T: It has nothing to do with it (laughs).  But, as it is an album I like (even if it has the same name) I guess it’s fine.

-And, when it comes to downer works, you listed “OK Computer" (1997), from Radiohead. T:I don't think there is another album that makes me want to die so much inside while I’m listening to it as this one (laughs). When I was in the states with Yoshiki producing the single, I have the impression I listened to it a lot.

-Radiohead also has had several changes through their career, but if you have to choose, is this one?

T: If you ask me which one from Rahiohead I would pick, as expected it’s this one. Maybe I like feeling like dying (laughs)

“If I had the chance to play music elsewhere, I would like to try an industrial band”

-(Laughs). As for genre, you also included industry albums such as Nine Inch Nails and Ministry.

T: I like industrial because I have the strong impression  it’s not only about the band sound. For me, it has something, like asking for the impossible. If I have the opportunity to do music out of DIR EN GREY, this is the genre I want to try, an industrial band.

-I definitely want you to try to do it.  I can tell you are listening to music with several components but, what are your roots as a bassist?

T: After all, I like Guns's Duff McKagan the most. The one who shocked me like “This…. this is bass!” was Japan’s bassist Mick Karn. I felt like ‘What’s this?’.  He had the magical image of a man that lived in Greece (laughs). I also like the bassline of Alice in Chains or Stone Temple Pilots, which I mentioned earlier.

-I see.

T: Also, in terms of bass, Pantera's 'Vulgar Display of Power' was made in a way that the original cd was only vocals, guitar and drums (laughs). But in their 20th Anniversary Edition (Deluxe Edition In 2012) I was happy to be able to hear the bass properly.

-When it comes to types of bassist, rather than someone who slaps the bass, comes to the front, and stands out, many artists (bassist) have the image of keeping the groove.

T: That’s right. Originally, I didn't really like finger playing or slap bassists. My first motivation was Guns, so I had the image of rocking, like holding the base down and playing with a pick. To me slapping had an image of a fusion style.

-In fact, considering your own play style now, I think they are connected.

T: They are. However, there was a moment when my thoughts changed a bit in that aspect. When I went abroad and went together on tour with Deftones and went to festivals, the bassist Chi Cheng looked very cool. KORN was on the same tour, so I was watching Fieldy’s playing as well.

-It was at the "Family Values ​​Tour" in 2006.

T: That’s right. That was the moment in which there was a change of era not only musically but also of my self-consciousness. Of course, I still liked my play style then, and of course I still like it now, but the idea that I can only do that, and I can only do that…. I started to want to see more things (that I could do). Compared to that time, there is a lot of information, isn’t it?

-Indeed.

T: There are a lot of ways and you choose yourself from that huge amount of information, so you can pick only the good things. But at that time, there wasn’t that much information available, so all I knew was from my own experience. It was like that for things, the length of my ruler was fixed. That…. it overlaps with the story of 'Clever Sleazoid' that I mentioned earlier, when I starter to look overseas, I realized that I could clearly see that “this kind of world exists”. I started to think differently about it, hating without trying it. If there's a world in front of you  you didn't know before, look at it, and if there's something you think would be even better, you can pick  it and bring it home. Looking back at it again, I think my playing style has changed since we made a full-scale expansion overseas and  I turned my eyes to overseas.

“Deftones are the band that influenced me the most once I saw them playing live and went on tour together with them”

-From Deftones, you chose White Pony' (2000)

T: I was shocked when I first heard them. As I said, at the time I saw them live and went on tour with them, if I had to say an album that I felt strong about and affected me, it would be this one.  I think their latest work at the time of the tour was the 'Deftones' (2003) or 'Saturday Night Wrist' (2006), but when they played the songs of 'White Pony', the audience went crazy. I was very impressed.

-From that perspective, many of the bands you chose have co-starred with DIR EN GREY. Are there other bands that impressed you?

T: We were with Metallica together at overseas festivals, but after watching it live, I thought it was really amazing. Since Pantera stopped before I could see them, it was nice I was able to see Metallica. In that sense, I was very excited to be at the same festival when Faith No More restarted their activities. I originally liked it and thought I couldn't watch it anymore, so I was excited when I realized I could see them live.

-That sounds good.

T: Also, we had been with Alice in Chains in a festival.Then, I heard from the dressing room that the guitarist was playing the guitar all the time. I remember thinking “Ah, I like that guitar” (laughs)

-As expected, you have many stories with the bands you were appearing together.

T: That’s right, that's a good thing (laughs)

-You've appeared together with Tool at OZZFEST JAPAN 2015.

T: That’s right. At that time, Tool was active, so we also have appeared together at overseas. I didn't actually watch the live then. Thankfully, I had the opportunity to watch them from a wing* of the stage later, which was really amazing. It feels like being on a trip. Thinking that way, I think I might like bands that makes me go a bit on a trip.

*The wings are the hidden areas to the left and right of the stage

-Also, since Japanese bands were not going abroad as much as now, that you were actively expanding and constantly playing overseas, looking at it, it seems like a good era.

T: Now, I think we were able to go abroad at a really good moment, so it was really a good era. I think it's normal for nowadays bands to go abroad but there are bands you can't see live now; at that time, I could see the music scene. It was good that we were able to go there at that moment.

-Tool’s '10,000 Days' (2006) is the newest work you've mentioned. Since then, there has been a big change over time, and now there are more choices such as music streaming services. Has the way of listening to music, or the variety of it, changed?

T: At that time, you couldn't hear a CD unless you bought it. Furthermore, in the old days, you couldn't afford to pay about 3000 yen each time you buy an album. There are many works that I was interested but I couldn't listen to. In that sense, I think it's a good time to listen anything. But at that time, I paid for listening to that one album, and since I bought it, it was nice to listen to it for a long time. When it comes to streaming, it sounds like "something  you are playing while doing another thing”. Going back to what I talked about, that's why it's a scary part, and I'm still a little behind the times.

-As you are in the artist creator side, you feel like you want people to face your work firmly.

T: As expected that’s it. Well, it’s the selfishness of a creator (laughs). That’s the truth of these things, to be honest, I think that music and magazines are just for entertainment. Because, if had to think about if I will live or die tomorrow, I think I would pick food, not music or books (laughs). If you think about it in that way, I wonder what really entertainment is.I think that because of the entertainment, it is possible to obtain the richness of a human heart. It has become more difficult than it used to be, to determine what kind of value to add there.

[randomvarious]

Dwarves - “Lick it?” Destination Bomp! Song released in 1988. Compilation released in 1995. Garage Punk / Punk Rock / Trash Rock / Psychobilly

From critic Matt Carlson:

Short of G.G. Allin, it would be hard to name a punk rock band that went further to establish a bad reputation than the Dwarves. Playing deliberately crude, high-speed punk rock dripping with bad attitude, the Dwarves -- led by vocalist Blag Dahlia and guitarist He Who Cannot Be Named -- matched their music with lyrics that celebrated all sorts of bad behavior, and their album covers almost invariably featured full-frontal nudity. Add in the band's live shows, which often lasted less than 20 minutes and occasionally included a physical assault on the audience, and you have a recipe for infamy, which the Dwarves rode to a lasting cult following via incendiary albums like Blood Guts & Pussy (1990), Thank Heaven for Little Girls (1991), and The Dwarves Must Die (2004).

You know that phrase “live fast, die young”? It’s sort of like a life code for a lot of musicians, especially punk rockers; people who want to make their indelible, outrageous mark and then disappear forever; people who live in the now and only the now. Well, the Dwarves are a band that have more than fulfilled the first half of that phrase, but they just absolutely refuse to die. They’re geezers now, but they’re still kicking around out there. And you’d think for a band who plays as insanely as they do that they’d flame out almost as soon as they’d formed, but this San Francisco group has managed to completely defy the odds...so far.

The Dwarves actually started out in Chicago though, as a group of punky psychedelic garage rock revivalists who called themselves The Suburban Nightmare. But when they migrated to San Francisco, they decided to add a lot more shock and chaos to both their sound and stage show. You could hear it all starting to come together in 1986 for their first album as the Dwarves, Horror Stories, which was punkier than their Suburban Nightmare album, but still had the psychedelic garage rock sound, too.

The same year that Horror Stories was released, drummer Sigh Moan wrote one of the band’s most notorious tunes, “Lick It?” But it wouldn’t be until 1988 that the song would appear as the a-side for the band’s first single. Then in 1990, the Dwarves were signed to Seattle grunge label Sub Pop, for whom they shed their psych-garage stylings and decided to go straight-ahead shock-punk. It was a weird pairing to have this brash set of punk rockers on a flannel-clad grunge label, and in pure Dwarves fashion, they were kicked off the label for making a fake press release that stated that their guitarist, HeWhoCannotBeNamed, was fatally stabbed in Philadelphia.

But let’s get back to “Lick It?” then, which is a brilliant tune that catches the Dwarves between their psychedelic-garage phase and their solely punk phase. While the band’s earliest work was mainly psych/garage rock revival first and punk second, “Lick It?” appears to be the inverse. And it’s more than just that. There’s a pure, greasy trashiness to it, too, as well as a countrified twanginess. It’s The Cramps meets The Stooges meets The Trashmen. It’s a piece of southern-set B-movie horror whose fast-clanging country chords drone chaotically as they drag you down to hell; it’s that part of the movie where you’re careening down an empty, unlit farm road trying to escape from a reanimated skeleton who has evil intentions, only to look over and find that that skeleton is suddenly riding shotgun with you. “Lick It?” is punk, it’s garage revival, it’s trash revival, and it’s psychobilly. It’s an eighty-plus-second whirlwind of beautiful sleaziness, ambiguously telling you to “lick it,” much like how Frankie Goes to Hollywood was controversially telling you to “suck it” some years prior. What those two bands were telling you to lick and suck though, isn’t made apparent, but you can use your imagination. 

For what it’s worth, HeWhoCannotBeNamed is notorious for playing in the buff during performances while donning a luchador mask, so maybe the song’s about his exposed dingus, and when he plays the song live, that thing just freely bobs up and down as he menacingly jitters on his guitar. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

One of the Dwarves’ best tunes. Some company ran an ad with this song trying to advertise stamps once.

[superman86to99]

Adventures of Superman #506 (November 1993)

Superman vs. Superboy! I mean, vs. Superman, since the Kid still insists that Superboy is definitely NOT his name and never will be. The two Supermen meet while the younger, radder one is dealing with some sort of deformed flying babies that are trying to kill him, which is the sort of thing that happens to you when you wear an “S” emblem on your chest.

These turn out to be deformed flying babies THAT EXPLODE, but the Kid is able to push them away with his (very non-Superman-esque) telekinesis powers. He then deduces that these things must have come out of Project Cadmus, the top secret genetic experimentation facility that created him, and brushes off the elder Superman to get back at those geeks by doing what he does best: being a brat on live TV.

So I guess the “top secret” part of Cadmus’ description is no longer accurate, thanks to the Kid. On the other hand, I kinda feel like the people of Metropolis deserved to know that there's a nearby government facility churning out genetic atrocities into their sewers.

The Cadmus gang sends Guardian to bring their wayward creation home so they can talk to him. Obviously the Kid isn't very interested, and for a while it looks like we might get the fight scene teased in the cover, but then Superman the First convinces Superman the Second that he should at least hear them out. And, while at it, ask Cadmus to tell him exactly what the hell he is. If he’s Superman’s clone, why does he have those weird TK powers? The Kid agrees, but... he doesn't like the answers he gets.

The Kid finds out that he's NOT a clone of Superman since, as established a while back, Kryptonians are damn hard to clone. So, since Cadmus was determined to create a new Superman after the original appeared to be dead, they instead took a clone of a regular, non-super man and genetically modified it to approximate Superman's powers (for instance, translating Superman’s “aura” into a telekinetic field). But who was that human DNA donor? Surely it was someone good and cool!

Just after the Kid wonders that, the quite evil and deeply uncool Director Westfield bursts into the lab and demands that this "super-punk" be taken into custody, probably so they can flush him down the toilet like Cadmus' other failed experiments. Superman makes Westfield see that making Cadmus' whistleblower disappear wouldn't look very good right now, but they can't just let him run around unsupervised. So, at Guardian's recommendation, the esteemed telepath Dubbilex is assigned to follow the Kid wherever he goes. I smell a sitcom! (Or a spin-off comic.)

As a last order of business, the Kid decides to give Superman his trademark to the Superman name, which his manager Rex Leech doesn't take too well. So what are they gonna call this teenage “S” emblem-wearing hero now? Superman has an interesting suggestion: SUPERBOY. Our young friend still isn't a fan.

But after storming out and thinking about it for a couple of pages (and trying out the name on some guys robbing a jewelry shop), the Kid realizes he's "earned" the title of Superboy and accepts it. Character development! And just in time for his solo series. ("That Non-Superman Clone Who Also Calls Himself Superman" wouldn't look good on a cover.)

Plotline-Watch:

The final page shows a shadowy figure shaped like the recently introduced Bloodthirst outfitting someone with a weapon-teleporting gizmo, then calling him "Bloodsport"... except that this dude is quite paler than the Bloodsport we met way back in Superman #4 (in an issue inked by current writer Karl Kesel, so you'd think he'd remember the character). This looks nothing like Idris Elba! What gives?!

Superboy is still bummed out because his friend Tana Moon left Metropolis without telling him where she was going, which is now known as "ghosting". In the end, Rex talks about sending Superboy on a promotional tour to establish his new brand, and the first destination of that tour will be... exactly where Tana went to hide from Superboy. This is now known as "time to get a restraining order."

Clark Kent is slowly morphing into a hipster the longer he rooms with Jimmy Olsen. For a long time I assumed all the bands listed in the panel below were made up, but turns out the only non-existing ones are “James Rock” and "Axel Rose". Luckily, Superboy was happy to give Clark's old apartment back to him (apparently only Pulitzer-winning journalists can afford it), so Jimmy won't hipsterize him for much longer.

Westfield gladly assigns Dubbilex to Superboy because it means there won't be a telepath at Cadmus to read his thoughts and find out about his evil plans (like sending the ugly flying babies after Superboy). Very clever, Westfield! Except for the fact that he thought that right in front of Dubbilex, who clearly "heard" the whole thing.

Incidentally, there's an apparent error in this issue when Superboy thinks "They won't take me without a fight!" and Guardian shows up and says "That's too bad, son. Because I don't want to fight you." How did Guardian know what Superboy was thinking? Obviously, Dubbilex patched Guardian through to Superboy's mind to assist in finding him. Now where's my damn Baldy Award?!

Is it me or is this page reminiscent of the cover to Superboy Prime's first appearance during Crisis on Infinite Earths?

Patreon-Watch:

Special thanks to your Patreon pals Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, and Samuel Doran, and welcome aboard to Bheki Latha (our first $6.50 patron ever!), Mark Syp, and Ryan Bush! You are all excellent. This month they got to read a long-ass post entitled 45 Things I Learned by Reading the “Death of Superman” Novel (Part 1), in which I talked about the stuff Roger Stern added to the canon in the first part of the Death and Life of Superman book. This includes Superman’s private thoughts on the JLI (and Guy Gardner in particular), what Lex Jr. calls Supergirl in bed, and Professor Hamilton getting romantic. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99

But now: the Don Sparrow show! Take it away, Don.

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

The end of an era, at least temporarily, as Tom Grummett draws his last Adventures of Superman issue, moving onto Superboy (and I think still doing Robin at this time?) with Karl Kesel.  He’ll return for the quarterly Superman: Man of Tomorrow and other things, but it’s a long gap until he does.

A pretty good cover, with Superman and Superboy about to tussle.   Though it can be seen as cheaping out on the backgrounds, I always love radial rays as an effect.  

Inside the issue, we have a great splash page of Superboy getting attacked by botched clones, and I love the gesture here—having his head snapping away from the camera adds to the motion and action.  Great stuff. 

Though he won’t be drawing her again for a while, Grummett excels at the new, shorter-haired Lois in these pages.  Superman soaring to the skies is a great panel as well, and I especially like the way his cape and fist slightly break the panel barrier, giving it a sense of motion, again.

The sequence of Guardian acrobatically flipping from one ledge to another is very well drawn.  Ditto the splash on page 13, where Superboy loses his temper.  The body language in this whole sequence tells the story very well, as Superman is calm and patient, confident in his ability not only to reach Superboy with his words, but also withstand him physically.  

The way Superboy snaps the carpet, but controls it mentally with his Tactile Telekinesis is a great example of his unique powers in use.  It reminds me of a technique they tried on the CW Supergirl show (but almost immediately abandoned) where they made like the Kryptonian fabric of their capes was like “smart fabric” and could be used as a weapon.  

Lastly, the dreamy, child-like expression on Superboy’s face during the Peter Pan exchange is wonderful, and a fitting end for Tom’s run on the book. [Max: You mean the William Shatner exchange, Don.]

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I almost never like it when they reference pop culture stuff in Superman comics, particularly music.  Karl Kesel isn’t the worst offender in that department (that would be JM DeMatties a few years down the line, who had Clark Kent bizarrely asserting he loved the Beastie Boys) but Clark’s discussion with Jimmy about an apparently fictional musician working with a rolodex of early nineties names makes me cringe (as does trying to imagine how awful a “Hip Hop Lyle Lovett” or “Grunge Frank Sinatra” would sound).

The car poster on the wall of Jimmy’s bachelor pad looks for all the world like Robin’s Redbird, also a Tom Grummett creation.  (Fun fact:  Tom once told me he still gets {very small} royalty cheques from the Batman & Robin movie, because Robin’s motorcycle was called the Redbird, though that might no longer be true with Paul Levitz no longer in charge of such matters.)

Superboy (in no less than his third time calling those pink creatures “spuds”) references John Candy and Joe Flaherty’s “Farm Film Celebrity Blow Up” where the guests would frequently “blow up real good” and it does my SCTV loving Canadian heart good.  

It’s interesting (and a little sad) that they again note that Superboy knows things (pop culture, etc) without ever having experienced it.  I feel like there’s a lot they could do with this concept.

This issue reads very much like the end of the Superboy “Reign” issues, as Superman is more of a secondary character to the kid.  All of it begs the question of why Superman, or Guardian put up with Cadmus.  Superman has said in previous issues that he has moral problems with how Cadmus treats life with their cloning experiments, and they’ve attacked him in the past (and also stole his corpse!) so other than the fact that it’s a launchpad for Superboy’s series, there’s really no reason any of these heroes should associate with Cadmus.  Especially Guardian, who comes off as little more than an errand boy here.  He wants to bring Superboy in, but won’t promise Superboy won’t be harmed or imprisoned?  

Nice to see Superboy return to his “Slammin’” catch phrase!

An interesting bit of foreshadowing when Superboy asks Big Words whose clone he is, and who immediately enters but Westfield. [Max: That’s right, Westfield! Not Luthor! Sorry, sorry.]

[insomniac-dot-ink]

The Waitress and the Werewolf

Genre: wlw, urban fantasy, original story

Words: 10k

Summary: A waitress and a werewolf share early morning conversations as the wolf comes in starving from her past transformation and the waitress tries to figure out what this muddy, shoe-less stranger is doing there every month.

Website⭐Ko-Fi ⭐Patreon ⭐ WordPress⭐Twitter

May

Mia walked soberly across scraggly yellow grass, scraping the bottom of her feet and making a sharp crunching sound with each step- like someone chewing on granola cereal.

The early morning smelled of dry earth and a colorless warm breeze. The faint wind itself granted no relief for Mia’s prickling skin, a touch like lukewarm milk being poured over sunburns. Everything always burned the morning after, itching like she was swallowing Pop Rocks in her entire body.

Her vision was boneless and strange, senses coming back to Mia in a fuddled mix of colors and sounds. The reds and greens returned in a slow bloody dawn, her nerves lit up one by one from the depths of numbness, and the scents of the world slowly dried up and left her. The sharpest feeling of all though, was the hunger.

The hunger was inevitable. Perfectly ruthless and all-consuming, distracting her from any thoughts of exhaustion or a shower with soap. Ache gnawed at her insides and rumbled with the force of thunder and stampedes.

Mia pushed forward.

The sun was just a suggestion on the horizon, the faintest brushes of light across the treetops. The trees were thin and closely knit together; their eyes seem to watch her warily, perhaps they had tolerated the wolf, but her human feet were not welcome.

She staggered away from them through a dried field, dark, bleak, and wrung out, her eyes trained on the only light in the whole unfriendly area: a yellow neon sign. It blared in the distance, the color of American cheese that was 50% chemicals and the teeth of evil witches in fairy tales.

The eerie neon reminded her of some desolate cyberpunk world that existed exclusively around a single diner in the middle of nowhere. Mia followed the sign like a beacon to wise men looking for saviors or very drunk men seeking toilets.

An empty road sat next to it, a strip of quiet grey with a faded line in the center and a promise of miles of the same.

When a young woman comes lumbering out of the forest with twigs in her hair, bare skin, and moonlight to her back, poets might write romantic lyrics about the glory of innocent womanhood and nature. Or something. The dried blood and mud coating her skin probably ruined the effect.

Mia had tried to clean herself up as best she could. She scrubbed her face, secured her ragged pants and scraps of shirt, located her wallet still tucked deep in her pockets, and wiped her hands down. She became as person passing as she was going to get that night.

The light of the sign drew closer and closer, Mia steadied herself, her system flooded with thoughts of "hungry" and "aaaaaagh." She was used to both feelings.

Mia faltered into the lit parking lot, crossing the boundary between the world of poets and broken brittle grass and into the glow of a squat, long building. It had giant glass windows peering in at a spotless long counter with fixed stools and overstuffed napkin holders. Red shiny booths sat along the walls, their material sparkly and no doubt squeaky when you sat. Black and white photos cluttered the walls, depicting smiling pictures of famous people in the genre of Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley.

The whole place was a clear imitation of classic diners that the 1950’s would have spit out by the dozen.

It was empty at this time except for a single man with a knit cap, slumped back, and wearing a pair of sagging pants that could only be described as “doing their best.” Mia assumed he was a late-night trucker drinking coffee and forgetting the world. The restaurant was bright, alien, and a little cheap looking.

Mia didn’t care how it looked. It was roughly five in the morning and this was the only thing open, the only option really. She tucked her head down and steeled her nerves, hyper aware of her dirty bare feet and the fact she looked like she wrestled the sludge-monster from a Ghibli film to get here.

Her stomach complained again, noisy as a garbage disposal, the transformation took more calories than she liked to count. Bodies demanded payment for their fancy parlor tricks.

Mia took a deep breath, looked down at herself, cringed, and then pushed the door open. A bell dinged gently, and she blinked into the blaring white fluorescent lights. She shuffled inside, feeling the cool tiles against her toes and whole body shrinking down. The room smelled of grease and black coffee, faint bleach and the slightest hint of perfume. The perfume reminded her of sunscreen and sugar.

There was a simple kiosk by the door that Mia approached cautiously, a woman stood there with her back turned. She wore a blue collared shirt, fitted jeans, and a red company apron tied around her waist.

“Booth for one,” Mia said automatically, quick and as pleasant as she could.

The waitress turned.

The young woman had exceptionally wide eyes, owl-like and appearing prone to looks such as shock or confusion. Her cheeks were delicate, chin softly rounded, and fine mouth smeared with splotchy lip-gloss. Long copper hair piled high on her head and freckles speckled across every piece of vacant skin.

She caught sight of Mia and made a face at her that could be summarized as “an atheist meeting God and being deeply unimpressed.”

Mia sighed internally; it might be a long few months in Nolan, West Virginia.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Lionel was counting down the minutes until the end of her shift, which was unfortunate for her since it began at five am and ended in eight hours and twenty-eight minutes. She usually tried to avoid counting the time until at least five hours in, but sometimes she indulged herself.

The counting did not in fact improve the work experience, but it did manage to amplify her sheer awareness of time itself and the idea she might be stuck in endless loops. Loop after loop of similar faces, usual complaints, and aching feet.

Lionel was waiting for one minute to pass, and then the next, and the next, but they never really seemed to.

The first two hours of a morning shift were the worst, slow, boring, and the chef was often taking a nap in the back. The late-night truckers didn’t even compliment her eye makeup or try to find out her phone number, home address, social security number, and whether she had a boyfriend or not- and if he was big. Though the last part was a perk.

It was the hour for nobodies, people questioning their own place in time and losing their identity to “five am.” Five am wasn’t a time, it was a place, and they were all one person there, similarly weary, adrift, and waiting for the second hand on the clock to tick forward.

Lionel was listening for the chef turning up his podcast from the back, she hoped to God it wasn’t the one she thought it was. But there was a lot of weird noises going on.

She had 8 hours twenty-four minutes left.

The door chimed, bell echoing dimly. “Booth for one.”

Lionel whipped around, preparing herself for at least a little activity and something to keep her busy. And then she stopped, paused, and held herself very still.

She couldn’t stop herself from wrinkling her nose, the monthly weirdos were appearing. The scent of fresh dirt filled the entrance, mud and something distinctly visceral, heady.

A girl looked back at her through short scattered bangs, she had a small mouth and dark olive eyes, meeting Lionel’s gaze with a certain firmness there. Lionel fumbled for her first words.

“Booth for one.” The girl might have said that before, but she repeated it now.

Lionel had a decision to make, and she had to make it quick. She was technically the manager on duty since it was just her and the chef right then, but this felt like something for more of a manager-manager, an adultier-adult.

Lionel cleared her throat and the girl’s eyes darkened, worry lies permeating her sharp face. She pointed down at her tattered clothes, they were streaked in fresh earth and had long tears along the pants cuffs and shirt sleeves. It looked like a war movie where they forgot to add the rest of the set around the actress.

“Construction.” The girl said weakly, pointing down at her neo-grunge appearance. “Hope you all don’t mind.” Lionel pondered on that for a second longer, it was hard to believe. But who hasn’t walked into an establishment completely wrecked and looking for a little bacon? Lionel didn’t have time to judge strangers, she still had twenty minutes left in that hour. She made a snap decision.

“This way,” she turned, spreading a practiced smile across her face like buttering a piece of toast. “Tough morning?” The girl shrugged, “just a bit of a mishap.” Her eyes darted around, “boss gave me the day off after.” Lionel opened her mouth to ask why she didn’t just go home, but it felt a little cruel to poke at her lie.

“Well,” she seated the girl at one of the middle booths, one someone couldn’t see from the front door. “I’ll be your server today.” Lionel placed a menu in front of her and nodded down pleasantly. “Welcome to Millie’s Diner.” “Thanks,” the girl squinted at Lionel’s name tag, “Xena?” Lionel forgot she was wearing one of the other waitress’s name tags, a pastime of sorts. “Like the warrior princess?” Lionel chuckled, touching her hair absently, “Yeah. Exactly like the warrior princess.” The girl’s face lit up for the first time, breaking into something bright and open. “Cool.”

“This job is just my side hustle of course,” she said blithely, “warrior princess gigs don’t pay the bills.” “Naturally,” the girl straightened up in place, a little more life returning to her movements. “Speaking of which,” Lionel flicked her notepad open, “can I get you started with some coffee? Juice?” She shook her head, “just some water.” She went back to mumbling, “and some fried eggs and toast to start with.” “Sounds good,” Lionel started writing.

“Stack of pancakes, do you have those flavored syrup?” “Yeah, blueberry, strawberry, peach,” she kept writing.

“Strawberry then. A plate of bacon, two sausage links, and a, uh, hmm, okay, also a rocky mountain omelet and breakfast burrito. Extra sour cream.” Lionel blinked a couple times, “should I expect anyone else to be joining you?” She asked without missing a beat.

The girl shook her head sheepishly, “nope. Just me.” Lionel looked down at her notes, a silence stretched out a little longer than necessary. “No problem. Yeah.” “Yeah.”

“Well,” Lionel stuffed her pencil back into her apron, “let me put that in for you.” She turned toward the back to prompt Mike to heat up the grill, they were apparently feeding at least three people in one.

“Thanks!”

Lionel slipped away, putting the order in and then watching the strange girl from afar. She was barefoot. She was as muddy as a dust bowl.

When Lionel brought her food over she descended on her breakfast with the fury of a small tractor flattening a field. Lionel surveyed the scene mildly, picking up the empty plates one by one- discarded corpses on a battlefield.

“Are you from around here?” Lionel asked casually as she picked up the third empty plate.

The girl’s eyes rose carefully, she shook her head, “just passing through.” Lionel smiled, “where are you headed?” She shrugged, “I’ll be here for a few months.” She said instead, “and then, um, new construction site after.” She cocked her head to the side, “sounds like an interesting life.” “It’s a life.” The girl smiled slowly, “I don’t suppose you’re from around here, warrior princess?” Lionel’s expression tightened, “trying not to be.” She wasn’t sure why she said something so telling, but it was five am. The sun was barely bleaching the land and everything tasting of faded colors and forgotten things, maybe they were all the same person at that hour- all trying to be from somewhere else right then.

The dirty stranger ate enough for a small army, paid, and disappeared without another word. She tipped 26% on her card and wrote a small note on the receipt: fight some monsters for me, yeah?

There was a sword drawn next to it, and the doodle of a freckly girl with a crown.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

June

Lionel was snapping her mint gum, popping it and then blowing it out as far as she could again. She popped her gum in the same way people shot paint balls after their parent’s divorce, fast, and with a grudge. Something grated just under the surface of her thoughts, digging it's nails in and beckoning with the sweetest fingertips. Just one last one, it said, that’s always the best one.

She popped her gum again.

Lionel had told her mom she could quit anytime she wanted to, but it turned out that addictive smoke filled with chemicals was very much addictive. She tried not to think about taking a cigarette break.

She leaned against the counter and eavesdropped on the cook’s latest podcast; thank the lord he had switched to true crime dramas. Even if they kept making her glance at the windows and think about bolting them shut.

“Alright, this is an interesting case Alice.” Lionel listened with half an ear, “it’s about a woman who swears a mountain lion-man broke into her condo and stole fifty thousand dollars. Can you believe?” The other podcaster made appropriate sounds of alarm.

“She wasn’t even supposed to be home that night, but she walked into her living room only find what she calls a monster. She saw some yellow eyes in the dark, just eyes, and then teeth wi-" Lionel jumped violently when the diner door chimed, startling her out of her contemplation of smoke and eyes in the dark. She looked up jerkily. A hunched, very muddy person stood in the doorway. Her short dusty brown hair was flattened in all directions and eyes downcast.

Lionel’s eyebrows shot into the air, “the dirty girl.” Her eyes snapped up and Lionel covered her mouth quickly. The girl’s shoulders slumped wearily, “I usually prefer Mia.” She rasped dryly, “But I suppose I’m flexible.” Lionel hurried over to the kiosk with the menu’s; the stranger, Mia, was the first customer of Lionel’s shift that day. She stopped in place, opened her mouth, and then closed it again

Lionel straightened up, “Sorry.” She presented her best service-smile, “How are you doing today?” It seemed like a non-question, empty even, but Mia didn't seem bothered.

She gave a slim smile, “hungry.” “I can help with that,” Lionel turned on her heels, “Same booth?” Mia lifted her head, “You remember,” she squinted at Lionel’s nametag, “Hannah?” Her head tilted to the side, “Hannah today?” Lionel shrugged, “Hannah today.” Mia followed her to the booth.

“I’ll be your server this morning,” she said slowly, “did you want to start off with anything to drink?” Mia smiled slowly, “water.” She said hoarsely, “more than one glass if possible.” Lionel nodded briefly and then looked closely at the stranger, “Are…” She frowned slightly, “are you alright?”

Mia looked up at her, something bruised and strange under her expression, “nothing some pancakes can’t fix.” She said easily, “and maybe a name change I suppose, but you seem to have that covered.” Lionel shrugged, “a girl needs a little variety.” “I see,” Mia threaded a hand through her stray hairs, “Hannah and Xena though, claiming all the good ones. What does that leave me with?” Lionel straightened up, “a girl who could use some eggs.” “Yes,” she grinned, “very good. Though a bit of a mouthful, what about Gabrielle? Or Lucy. Short for Lucifer," she chuckled to herself, "now there’s some variety.”

What a strange person, Lionel noted, but she worked at a 24-hour diner close to a highway, she was well aware the world was filled with strange people.

“Even Lucifer needs water.” She said and turned, “I’ll be right back.” Lionel filled up two glasses of water in the kitchen. The cook was still in the middle of his podcast, but he looked up to examine Mia through his kitchen window. “Wait,” Mike squinted, “is that the one that ordered all that food a month ago?” He frowned, “she smelled bad then too.” Lionel rolled her eyes, “this one doesn't smell that bad. Maybe you’re thinking of that egg lady from two months ago, remember? That woman with all those rotten eggs in her purse.” The cook snorted and responded pointedly, “Nanc kicked her out.” “Yeah, yeah,” she turned, “just start up the grill. I have feeling it will be a big order.” “She doesn't even have shoes on!” He grumbled, “do you have a softer heart than I thought or is this some sort of side-effect of you quitting? I told ya, it’ll do stuff to your head.” She used her hip to open the kitchen door, “let’s both quit. I’ll start with smoking, and you start with bitching.” “I swear Li…” He continued grumbling and Lionel walked back over to her table, the girl was stacking sugar pockets on top of each other. She had already eaten three it looked like.

“Here you are,” Lionel placed the water down and took her notepad out of her apron. “Now,” she clicked her pen, “what’ll it be today?” The girl looked up from under her tousled bangs, “I’ll start with the French toast breakfast and a grand slam steak, and then two eggs, and some hash browns. Then add a side of biscuits and gravy and a fruit bowl with yogurt.”

Lionel gave a wry grin, “is that all?” Mia rose to meet the challenge and shook her head, “No.” She looked up, “I’m thinking a banana crepe too or maybe those honey cakes. What do you recommend?” She asked the last part slowly.

“Huh,” Lionel stuck her bottom lip out, “well, I’ve never had either,” she said honestly, “but my dog’s name is Honey Cakes. So, you know.” “Really?” Her eyebrows lifted, “Honey Cakes. What kind of dog is she?” Mia examined her and Lionel shifted in place uncertainly.

“Border collie mix,” she gave a faint smile, “a pain in my ass, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world. Best damn dog this side of the Appalachians.” She looked back to Mia, “do you… like dogs?”

Mia looked off up at the ceiling and high fluorescent lights, “not really.” She said evenly, “but Honey Cakes is a very good name. I’ll have those.” Lionel clicked her pen again, “I’ll get them right out for you.” She felt like she had something more to say, but it didn’t come to her. She retreated into the kitchen.

She handed the order over to the cook, “here.” He looked down at it with a scowl, “oh. Is that all? Three entrees and three sides.” She shrugged, “she implied she might be the devil.” He turned over to the give her a firm look, “then don’t associate with that type, Jesus girl!” Lionel looked away, “I’ll associate with who I like. She tips well.” That was the end of that conversation, just as Mike went back to complaining and a new trucker walked in the front door. Lionel finished the hour.

Mia maintained her tradition, she ate quickly, paid, and slipped out the door without another word. There was a second doodle on the receipt this time, it was simple, a freckled girl holding the leash of dog dripping with something labeled "honey."

“You” it said, “possibly committing identity theft,” and then “Honey Cakes, very likely a good girl.”

Lionel had no other choice but to wander about what drove people to show up at strange hours, call themselves the devil, and draw cute dogs on papers. She guessed it was probably just how the world was and that she shouldn’t linger on it.

She did end up lingering on it though. It danced in between her thoughts of “one last cigarette” and true crime podcasts about break-ins, she wandered about it for a long time.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

July

Heat like hot syrup dripped down Mia’s skin, the sun was barely risen but the oppressive warmth of West Virginia summer was already layering the land with a fanged vengeance. Her reborn body was simmering with its own heat, but Mia’s mind was elsewhere. Something was wrong with her arm.

Sticky fluid ran down her right wrist and she couldn’t help but swallow waves of nausea cutting through her gut as she walked. Mia couldn’t feel the cut yet, not enough of her body was back, but she could tell it wasn’t going to be pleasant.

The trail of hot blood dripped in between her fingertips, the wound wasn’t deep, but it was long- curving elegantly from the soft of her inner elbow to her shoulder. At first, she worried she had been found, that it had been an Arcadian hunters trap, or worse, a pack. She had been so careful, moved around just enough, kept to herself just enough, didn’t linger anywhere.

Mia’s heart thudded painfully in her chest as her mind flew to images of being scented or tracked, gutted or recruited.

Luckily, she retraced the wolf’s steps and found a broken tree branch with some blood and a bit of clothing stuck to it, she exhaled in relief when it all smelled like her own. The dumb dog part of her seemed to have run into a tree; Mia opted to ignore the cut for now.

She turned toward the familiar highway.

Why does the wolf drag me all the way back to this road? All the way back to the neon sign in the dark? She didn’t have an answer for that.

Mia wandered thoughtlessly back toward the 24-hour diner in the middle of nowhere, she was almost relieved to see the same waitress on duty that night. Does she ever take the day off?

She entered the establishment quietly, feet padding soft on the cold tiles and shoulders hunched as she approached sheepishly from behind. Hannah/Xena/mystery-waitress was attending two other customers. Mia found herself sprouting a tiny smile to the other woman’s back, “booth for one.” The waitress was filling up a coffee cup, two older men in jean jackets and frowns sat at the counter, pointedly ignoring Mia. Xena/Hannah turned slowly.

“Oh my God,” the waitresses mouth fell open, her expression blanking quickly. “You’re bleeding.” Mia hadn’t felt it yet, but she looked down anyway, blood spread down her entire forearm the way tree roots seep into dirt. It was much more than she remembered. “Oops.” She said lamely, realizing that she was surely pushing her luck with this latest antic. “Uh,” she scratched the back of her neck with her good hand.

The waitress put her coffee pot down, “are you-” Mia cut her off before she could finish the thought, “let me just go tidy this up.” She put her finger up, “One sec. Promise not to bleed on your nice floors, just,” She hesitated, “save me a booth.” It somehow made her stomach sink to think of being formally kicked out of this place, though she was no stranger to such things.

“That’s gotta hurt,” the waitress frowned, “don’t tell me there was another accident on your construction site.” Mia took a step backward and didn’t meet her eye, “one second. Right.” She tried to slip out the door, but to her dismay someone else was just behind her, the odds were against her that morning in more than one way. She slid into the corner as the door dinged open and a couple walked through, looking exhausted and irritated. “I told you to take 167.” The woman swore at the man.

“Look Julie, I need coffee and then we can discuss your mother’s original directions.” “I told you not to listen to my mother!”

The waitress gave Mia one last forlorn look and then seated the young couple, Mia slipped out the door and into the dark of the parking lot. She hurried over to the side, past two large trucks and one minivan. Mia planted herself on the hard concrete, neon sign to her back and body hunched over, she tried to tear off a section of her already ragged shirt.

Mia heard not all wolves went completely wild during the moon, that they didn’t roll in dirt, run into trees, and do God knows what every time. She heard they had packs though, and den mothers that kept them all in line.

Mia had no interest in staying in line, however much she resented waking up starving with leaves in her hair.

She inhaled sharply through her teeth when she moved her right arm and a stab of pain shot right up into her shoulder. Her body was becoming fully hers again, she whimpered, “come on,” she tried to move so she could bandage herself, “just this one thing.” She fiddled with her strip of shirt, trying to stop-up the wound while cursing at herself for several long minutes. She tensed every muscle in her body when she heard footsteps approach from behind, Mia sat up perfectly straight and tried not to panic. “Hey there,” a voice called, “you might try not getting gangrene out here.” Mia looked over her shoulder, the waitress was holding out a wet rag and what appeared to be Neosporin. Mia looked blankly back at her.

The waitress joined her at the edge of the parking lot, “I won’t pry.” She said simply, “but you’re gonna want to actually clean that up.” Mia just kept looking, her mouth pinched shut. “It’s not what you think.” She said lowly, and then turned her face away.

“You don’t know what I think,” the waitress sounded wary, “mostly I think credit card insurance is a scam, NSYNC was the best band of the last two decades, full stop, and spam gets a worse rep than it deserves.” Mia couldn’t help but grow a small laugh, “is that all?” The waitress knelt to the ground, crouching in her fitted jeans and looking off into the dry yellow fields. “No, I’ve got more.” Mia shifted in place, “spam is disgusting.” The waitress snorted, “have you had it in rice with eggs and cheese? No, and I don’t accept unsourced opinions.”

Mia’s shoulders untensed, she watched her closely, the light of the newborn sun and ancient sign bathed her freckles in a mix of oranges and yellows. The shadows were long and shifting around them and she seemed like the strangest thing of the night.

“Well alright,” Mia reached out, “you sound like you cite your sources, I’ll take your magic germ-killer.” She shifted toward her, “though I don’t usually trust witchcraft or such.”

The waitress handed over the rag first, carefully passing it to Mia’s good hand. “You’re the one that called herself Lucifer.”

Mia shook her head, “Mia is fine too.” She said firmly, “and I was only trying to keep up with...?” Mia leaned over and squinted into the light, “Carol today?” The waitress gave a small smile, “Carol today.” Mia leaned her head back, exposing her neck to the warm air. “Can I choose your next one?” “Absolutely not.” Mia chuckled and lifted the warm rag to her cut, trying to wipe out the grime and clear away the trail of thick dried blood. She flinched and gritted her teeth when she got to her upper forearm, a burn eating its way into her muscle, she wrinkled her nose and exhaled slowly.

“Oh, give it here,” the waitress snapped, “I only have a fifteen minute break and I’m not being accused of stealing company property if I leave this out here with you.” Mia scowled, “I would give it back.” The waitress, Carol today, took the rag and scooted over to start dabbing and clearing it out, she mumbled to herself as she did. “Really.” Mia curled into herself slightly but let her work, the feel of the warm water and soft touch making her squirm slightly. The waitress paused, “this will sting.” That was all the warning the waitress gave before Mia was yelping, a fresh sting bursting over her whole arm as she slathered disinfectant on the area. Mia shifted in place, looking up at the sky and only twitching a little, the waitress had a big grin on her face.

“And here I thought you’d be all brooding and tough.” She whispered to herself.

Mia stuck her bottom lip out, “I’m not immune to Neosporin, thanks.”

The waitress laughed and then got something out of her back pocket, “where are you from again?” “North.” Mia said shortly, “north-north.”

“First time in the states then?” She hummed, “not at all.” The waitress lifted three band aids in the air, “we’re out of big ones.” She explained, “think about home or something while I put them on.” “I’m not that hurt,” Mia and looked away, “and,” she paused, and something subdued, soft, entered her tone, “thank you for this.” She swallowed thickly, “I didn’t even know I tipped this well.” She snorted gently, “don’t mention it. Now… Hold still.” She delicately applied the three band aids, plastering them up the long cut that ran from her elbow to her shoulder. Mia flinched but held herself still as the waitress worked, it was a quick process done by nimble hands.

“Watch that now.” The waitress said with a gentle pat to the band aids. “You’ll want to change them later.” Mia met her gaze briefly- the waitress’s eyes were large, glimmering, hazel. “I will.”

They sat in silence for a long moment after she finished, looking off into the grasses now glowing golden in the light and waiting for something. The waitress scratched her chin, Mia watched her closely. She spoke in a hush, it felt like the moment for such things, “did you need to go in?” She inhaled, long and noisy. “No.” She looked down at her feet, “give me a moment.” They waited once more, hovering over something. The waitress blinked, “I wanna smoke.”

Mia wrinkled her nose, “okay?” She glanced over to her, “I’m trying to quit.” She reached into her pocket and seemed to dig up a slim, nearly broken cigarette. “Do you mind? Last one.” Mia reached out hesitantly, “you just said you’re trying to quit.” “I want to quit,” she looked down at the end of the white stick. “Yeah. I really do.”

She brought the cigarette to her lips and looked visibly upset, Mia plucked it back out of her mouth. “Then do it.” Mia took the cigarette from the waitress and put it into her tattered pocket, the waitress exhaled and nodded, they both stood up together to go back into the restaurant.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Lionel found an extra forty dollars added to her tip that day, her pride smarted from the display, but her wallet was more than hungry enough for it. There was another picture drawn on the receipt this time.

Thanks for the save :)

Buy yourself some new disinfectant or spam I guess. I’ll see you around, warrior princess Carol-Hannah.

-Mia.

Lionel shouldn’t, but she did. She stuffed the receipt into her apron until she could take pictures of it on her phone and hide that away too.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

August

Mia brought flowers. It was stupid, she knew it was stupid, but flowers were how you thanked people, right? Whenever her mom got mad her dad always brought flowers, got down on one knee and said "thanks for being the honey to my milk" or something just as foolish.

Mia was not going to say that. She was however going to thank the waitress very politely, hand over some flowers, and do it all much more presentably than usual. She’d be ready this time.

She had resigned herself to the fact that the wolf wanted to end up around this highway, dropping Mia off in the middle of the woods somehow always close to the diner. She didn’t question the animal. She was long past that.

Mia set up a box, placed where she could find it with extra clothes, baby wipes, and a pair of good shoes. She made sure she was prepared this time.

It was hid in a part of the woods where wildflower’s grew in bundles, vicious in their pursuit of the sun and unhindered by any walls or roads. Mia looked at them for a long moment, transfixed by their scraggly long stems and purple blossoms. She had grown up in the city and things like them almost made her glad she left.

She gathered up the purple flowers one by one, feeling the grainy stems and watching the sun rise over their silky delicate heads. Fastened together they were unkempt and crooked, but Mia had an odd feeling the waitress might even like that.

After gathering more than a dozen she headed toward the empty dry field and the glow of a silent building. Mia had taken her time gathering the plants and actual cars were driving up the road by then, either having just pulled off the highway or found themselves terribly lost.

Mia didn’t pay them much mind, she couldn’t feel the brittle grass against the soles of her feet for once and she was on high on her own purpose. That purpose certainly involved toast and hash browns first, but something a little more as well.

She strode into the diner, spine upright and chest puffed out, planning the first words she would say to the waitress. She hoped the first words back would be "you clean up nice," but there were only so many moments in life that could be like the movies.

Mia deflated like a popped balloon when a different woman turned around as the door dinged, a different woman with bright blue eye shadow and rose-bud lips. A different woman who wore the apron.

“Oh,” Mia’s flowers fell to her side and her smile fell with it.

The new waitress, Tilda the tag said, didn’t even bat an eye, Mia was wearing shoes this time- she wasn’t the strangest person in the joint anymore.

“Table for one?” Tilda asked as she reached for the menus.

Mia could only look around, somehow hopeful in a small way. “No,” she found herself saying, and then her stomach grumbled. “Yes.” “Alright, this way,” the waitress seemed nonplussed, “gonna be a hot one today.” “Yeah,” Mia could feel her chest concaving, this wasn’t how the scene went in her head. “It’s going to be terrible.” “I hear ya’,” Tilda sat her down and placed the menu gingerly in front of Mia, “my name is Tilda, I’ll be server today. What can I get you started with?” Mia looked down at her flowers, and then back to the woman. “Um.” Tilda glanced at the present now too, “or are you waiting for someone?” Mia just shook her head, “I had… a question.” She said stiltedly, her tongue running away with her.

Tilda raised one very fine eyebrow up into the air, “shoot.” Mia took a deep breath, “I had a waitress here a month ago, and uh, sometime before that. She went by Xena or Hannah or Carol…” Mia realized she really didn’t have a chance. She didn’t even have her real name. “She’s freckly?” Tilda just nodded shortly, “Name changer? I know her, she’s worked here forever. She’s out today though.”

“Oh,” Mia lifted her chin, “Is she… alright?” Mia wasn’t sure if she was crossing a line or not, “a friend told me to give her these.” She indicated the flowers. Both of Tilda’s eyebrows rose like questions marks now, perfectly in tune with each other. “I wouldn’t worry.” Tilda played with her pen, flipping it back and forth in her fingers, “she’s a piece of hardwood that one. Heard she was a bit of a mess on the phone, but she’ll be back soon.” Tilda’s eyes darted to the flowers, “though maybe Li will like those, she’s out in Nolan I think.” Mia sat with that for a long moment, words echoing in her head, was a bit of the mess on the phone.

Mia was reminded she didn’t know anything about this girl, mostly that the woman had bad opinions on things and helped strangers out on their worst nights.

“Should I leave you with the menu?” Mia shook herself out of her thoughts, “No, I’ll start with a bowl of oatmeal, hash browns, and a plate of pancakes with…”

The flowers wilted next to her.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

This is a bad idea. It is definitely, very much, a terrible, bad idea.

Mia Kotsiopoulos moved to the outskirts of Nolan, West Virginia in order to disappear, places like this tended suck the memory out of anything. But this was definitely going to be memorable.

She stood outside a beige building wearing oxford shoes, brown slacks that went to her shins, and a short-sleeve blue button-up. It was much better than her usual "tatters and questionable hygiene" approach.

She had even showered before she showed up.

But nonetheless, she had shown up to a service-workers house in the middle of the day, holding flowers. She never thought the movie she played out in her head would be the "creepy stalker" variety.

Mia was standing outside a mini condo with a beige outside and beige door and a scraggly bush in the front. A house cat peered at her from one of the windows across the street and the sun beat hot against her neck from up above.

She stared at a door with cheap silver numbers on the front and flap for mail, it looked unassuming and quiet. It was in a small neighborhood that was made smaller by the size of the town itself; Mia had followed the scent of sunscreen perfume and grease all the way here.

She tried to deny in her head that she memorized the waitress’s scent, but that would be a bold-faced lie at this point. She kept staring at the door.

The cat hissed at her from across the way and Mia hung her head, “what am I doing?” She turned to leave, she wasn’t this, she promised she wouldn’t be.

She crept back toward her Mitsubishi and slammed her wildflowers in the passenger's seat, trying to suppress any nascent feelings bubbling up. All she did was bandage your arm, Mia reminded herself, it was nothing.

Then she heard a voice calling, “Honey Cakes!” The voice carried, “Honey-Honey!” Mia lifted her chin up and peered down the long sun baked street, a figure stood cupping her hands around her mouth and wearing a fluffy lilac robe. The figure looked left and right, walking frantically in Mia’s direction without looking at her. “Here girl! Honey Cakes.” “Oh,” Mia straightened up, her mouth making a small perfect circle. The waitress looked visibly distraught, her eyes red-rimmed and long hair undone and tumbling lankly down her back. Her robe had a yellow stain on the sleeve and a thin nightshirt peaked out from underneath, crumpled and forgotten.

Mia took a couple uncertain steps forward; the waitress looked every which direction on the ground before she noticed Mia. Her eyes went wide, “you.”

Mia suddenly didn’t know what to do with her hands, or face, or any part of her body. “Are you missing your dog?” She asked quickly. The waitress seemed to take a long second to respond, frowning slightly and probably weighing this all in her head. Maybe she was thinking of calling the police on one of her customers randomly showing up near her house.

Then she nodded hesitantly, “yeah…” “I was just on a walk,” Mia tried to justify her presence, “and I heard you calling out.” The waitress touched her messy hair and looked down at her feet, they were bare. “Cool. Alright. Enjoy your walk.”

Mia straightened up, “also,” she struggled, her face flushing slightly. “I wanted to thank you. Really thank you.”

The waitress seemed to look at her for the first moment, eyes focusing out the depths of their worry. “Don’t mention it,” she said with a familiar breezy note to her voice, “only a dick would leave you out there to bleed out.” “I don’t know about that,” Mia rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously, “most people probably wouldn’t even let me eat there in my state the first time.” The waitress shrugged loosely, “most people suck.” Mia gave a newfound smile, “can I help you look for your dog?”

She paused again, lips puckering and noticeably bare of makeup that day. She gave a tight nod, “you have good eyes?” “No,” Mia said simply, “but I can, uh, I can help.” The waitress gave her a perplexed look, “alright, yeah, this way.” They walked down the sidewalk together and the waitress pointed around. “I lost her a night ago…” She said weakly, “it’s been almost 72 hours.” Her voice sounded strained and fragile.

Mia looked both directions, “I can definitely help. Does she respond to a whistle?” The waitress nodded, “I trained her with my brother, he’s big on dogs. Before she became just mine, he used to do this big wolf whistle to get her to come," she smirked in a private way, "he was such a show-off.” Mia broke into a fond expression, “K.” She wet her lips, put two fingers in her mouth, and let out a truly impressive sound, a ringing golden whistle that echoed down the street like a shot arrow.

The waitress let out a whistle of her own in response, “woah.” “Honey Cakes!” Mia called next, “Honey.” They walked down the cracked sidewalk and toward the center of town, Mia tried not to stare at the other girl, and tried even harder not to bump into her. It was a long walk.

The waitress started slowing down once they passed the post office, ten minutes had passed by then and she had started flagging, her chin drooping down toward her chest and expression cracking like porcelain.

Mia tried to move quick, “we’ll find her.” She reassured softly, “I’m sure she’s looking for you too.” The waitress shook her head, she closed her eyes and took a jerky turn down a narrow alley, walking purposefully ahead, but making no noise or move to call for her dog. Her shoulders sloped into two perfect arched hills, trembling slightly.

“Wait,” Mia chased after her, “it’s only been a night, dogs come back from much longer trips than this.”

The waitress put her face in her hands, “it’s my fault.” She said, voice wobbling, “it’s all my fucking fault. I left the door open.” Mia reached out toward her, suddenly unsure of what to do. “Anyone could do that. We can fix it.” The waitress sniffed and shook her head violently, “I was yelling on the phone. She hates when I yell, and her dinner was late. I should have known this would happen! She deserves better, I can’t even keep one fucking thing right.” Her voice was wet now and heavy.

Mia risked putting her hand on the other woman’s shoulder, “hey, hey now,” she spoke softly, as if to not to spook a frightened deer. “I’m sure she knows you love her, and it was just a bad night. I’m sure she wants to come home.” The waitress made a tiny, hiccuping sound and turned her large hazel eyes on her, watery and full. “I promised her I’d buy a place with a big yard by now. I promised, and,” she wiped at her face, “I lied. And kept lying and forgetting. And now she’s gone.”

Mia took a deep breath, “are carrying her leash? Or any of her things?” The question seemed to surprise the waitress out of her self-pity, “any of her things?” Mia just nodded, the waitress reached into her pocket and produced a yellow collar. “I take her collar off when we’re at home since she hates wearing it.” Misery was apparent in the waitress's tone.

“Okay,” Mia centered herself, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in through her nose. “Alright.” She also shouldn’t do this; it wasn’t something she allowed herself to do. Mia tolerated the wolf when it forced itself out once a month but tolerating and tapping into were two different things. This was fraternizing with hostile forces.

Mia’s sense of smell was already acute, but this was going take something fantastical.

She couldn’t "turn" in broad daylight like this, but the full moon was simmering just above, barely contained by the blanket of silky blue sky. Mia could feel the cool, surging power latent in her veins. Just a little, she promised herself, just enough for this.

Her sense of smell piqued all at once, sensations rushing in like a floodgate being opened and storming the fort. Everything came into focus, the coffee shop next door brewing bitter smells, the lady down the street lathering her hands with coconut lotion, old meats, rotten fruits, sneakers.

She reeled back, taking a step toward the walls and clutching her chest. Mia quickly collected herself, took the collar in hand, and lifted it to her nose, taking a deep breath.

“This way.” She started walking decisively back toward the street, not sparing a look toward the waitress.

“Wait,” the other woman stumbled after her, “where are you going?” “Follow me,” she said, “we’re going to find your dog.” She glanced over her shoulder and wet her lips, “trust me.”

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Lionel had no idea what she was doing. She had no idea what she was doing last night when she yelled at her credit card company for an hour and no idea what she was doing when she called into work that morning for a "personal day." She never took work off.

She couldn’t lose Honey Cakes though, she just couldn’t.

The "five am woman" was back, Mia, and Lionel was watching her wide shoulders as she strode fixedly down the street. Her short hair was styled now, sides cropped short and bangs smoothed back, she was wearing pressed, clean clothes that flattered her sturdy figure.

Her skin was moon-bright under all the mud Lionel had seen coating her before. She had a mole on her chin and clear blue eyes in the daytime.

She cleaned up nicely.

Lionel, however, did not. She was fully aware that she was in her “lazy day robe” and her nose was no doubt still leaking, it couldn’t have been a worse day.

“No, I’m serious,” she spoke to the other woman’s back as they strode out of town, “where are we going?” Mia didn’t look back, “we’re getting close.”

They left the main street and passed the last few houses in the town of Nolan, population 1,022. The rest of the houses clustered farther back and further out.

They were on bare road soon, where the sidewalk disappeared, and the world stretched out into trees, old tires, and white shacks in the distance that hosted scavengers and drug deals. Lionel followed mutely behind, she didn’t like crying, she liked it less when it was in front of other people.

“So,” Mia spoke up gently, “when did you get Honey Cakes?” Lionel ducked her head down. “When my grandma died.” She said without inflection, “My brother thought it would cheer the family up… and then she just became my dog.” Mia looked over her shoulder and nodded, “what’s she like?” “Terrible,” Lionel rubbed her face, “but she’s so sweet I forgive her for chewing up all my good shoes anyway.” Mia chuckled and looked down at Lionel’s bare feet, her face flushed slightly. “Would you believe me if I said a dog got rid of all my shoes too?” She smoothed her hair back, “twinsies.” Lionel couldn’t help but grow a small smile, “why do you think I let you in? Kindred spirits.”

Mia laughed, a round and full sound. “I’m not sure about that.” She paused, “but I would like to help.” Lionel became somehow even more perplexed, where are we going?

“I’m trusting you,” she said slowly, “I don’t follow just anyone out into uninhabited areas without my phone on me.” Mia’s back muscles bunched together, “it’s not uninhabited,” she pointed ahead, “there, that’s what I thought.” A stray mechanics shop appeared just around the corner, white with two garages and a tiny office attached to the side. It probably serviced the locals and whoever was unlucky enough to break down out here.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Lionel sped up, “and you think she’s…?” Mia just nodded, “see? Trustworthy.” Lionel lit up, heart suddenly lifting for the first time that day. “If she is really here…” She said slowly, “will you trust me too?” Mia frowned, “what do you mean?” Lionel lifted her head, “my name is Lionel by the way. Lionel Campbell.” “Oh,” Mia smiled, her entire face stretching into an enchanting excitable thing. “Oh, that’s a great name.” Lionel shifted in place, “Xena is better.” Mia shook her head, “completely not. I love lions.” “And not dogs?” Mia looked ahead, “Maybe some dogs.”

Lionel looked ahead too as the mechanics shop approached like a mirage, she was about to prompt Mia again, but a stray bark coursed through the air. A familiar high-pitched sound that was equally fussy and warm.

“Honey Cakes?” She called carefully, and then she heard another bark, “Honey-Honey!”

She started running as she saw the face of a floppy-eared brown and yellow dog stick her head up in the office window. “Girl!” Lionel was sprinting toward the door, hands outstretched, another bark followed.

They had found her dog.

—　❈　—

The mechanic had found Honey Cakes wandering by the side of the road the night before, seemingly turned around and confused. He brought her to his shop and gave her some food and water, he had planned to bring her to the nearest shelter the next day. Lionel had gotten there just in time.

Honey Cakes jumped up on her the second the door opened, and she wrapped her arms around the dog, “I missed you too!” She could have cried again.

She thanked the mechanic and put the collar back on her happy, dumb dog. Honey Cakes ran around in circles and barked at her, tongue out. It was a muggy warm day, but it somehow felt lighter than ever.

Afterward, Lionel, Mia, and the dog retreated toward the wild green grass near the shop, sitting down in a field to rub the dog’s belly.

“Thank you,” Lionel gushed again, “I would have never found her if that mechanic had drove her all the way to the shelter in Edward’s Town.” Mia wasn’t looking at her, staring off into the distance instead, “no problem.” She grinned, “Lionel.” Lionel stretched out across the thick grass, still petting her shaggy friend. “Well you’ve got my name now.” She steadied her gaze, “what’s your magic trick?” Mia turned in profile, angling her head slightly toward her, expression blank, “what do you mean?” Lionel leaned forward like it was a secret, “how’d you find my dog?” Her eyes went wide, “are you psychic?” Mia chuckled, but it wasn’t exactly a happy sound. “You got me,” she lay back down in the grass, stretching out spread eagle and bathing in the sheets of sunshine. “I’m psychic.” Lionel turned over on her side to face her, “A psychic who sniffs things and follows their tracks?” She said quietly, “and always shows up during the full moon covered in dirt?” Mia glanced back at her, eyes filling with panic and brow denting inward. “Lionel…” Lionel just shook her head, crawling up closer to her. “I never listened much to rumors and newscasters.” She spoke ever so softly, “it’s not my business.” She gave her a smile, a real one, “all I know is that you found my dog.” Mia shifted away from her, she didn’t seem to be breathing. “It isn’t...I.” Lionel reached out, clamping down around the other woman’s arm, “where are you from, really?” “Ottawa.”

Lionel just nodded, “Good. How do you like Nolan so far?” Mia relaxed, just ever so slightly. “Well.” She said simply, words slow and pointed. “Best service I’ve gotten anywhere so far.” Lionel rolled her eyes spectacularly, “Careful,” she said dangerously, “Honey Cakes could get the wrong idea. She bites people who she thinks are even close to flirting with me. A real puritan like that.” “It’s okay,” Mia scratched the sprawling Honey Cakes behind the ears, “I have a way with dogs.” Lionel ducked her head down, a flush creeping up her neck. This isn’t good, she swallowed. “So, what do you do, Mia? Dog whispering?” “God no,” Mia sniffed, “Freelance coding, but I’m hoping to switch jobs when I, you know, grow up. Past thirty I’m thinking. Maybe forty.” Lionel laughed, spirits lifting, “and what would you like to be when you grow up?"

Mia's eyes gleamed impishly, “I’m thinking tiny foods food blogger or custom shoelace knitter, that sort of thing.”

“Something practical,” she nodded solemnly.

Mia grinned so wide it looked like it might eat her face, “butterfly-dust expert maybe, professional harmonica tuner, wild hamster tamer.”

Lionel giggled, actually giggled, "that's what I was gonna guess! You took mine." They snickered together, and something was so light in the air it felt like it might burst. Honey Cakes didn’t even try and bite the new girl, not that she ever would.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

September

Lionel still didn’t know what she was doing, but something about this had become increasingly right. Increasingly like something she couldn’t escape and didn’t want to. The minute hand had ticked forward.

It was the end of her shift on a Friday, she kept glancing out the windows and checking the streets. Tilda was examining her, “why are you so jittery, Li?” She poked her as they passed each other, “this from the quitting? I’m with you there, Brad won’t even look at me if I sneak one nowadays.”

“No,” Lionel kept her eyes on the window, “it’s nothing." “Nothing,” Tilda just grinned with her bright red knowing smile. Lionel wrinkled her nose, “this is normal.” She looked out the door again, “I’m acting normal.” Her expression softened, the sun was far in the sky and it would only be twenty more minutes, she's coming.

Tilda laughed like aluminum foil being crinkled, “damn. I knew Mikey said you were smiling more, but I’ll have whatever stuff you’re on now.” Lionel rolled her eyes, picking up a stack of dirty plates. “It’s called a good work attitude.” She turned on her heels, “try it.” Tilda laughed again, huge and exuberant, Lionel had a weird notion she would miss that if she ever did manage to leave.

Another fifteen minutes passed, Lionel’s heart had moved into her throat and the world was turning in slow motion. Somehow, she didn’t mind.

She felt like she was giving herself whiplash turning each time the door dinged, she was only finally right the fiftieth time. A woman came through the door wearing a pair of slacks, oxfords, and a clean purple shirt buttoned to her throat, she smiled with all her teeth.

Mia was holding an array of flowers and a small box. “Hey.” She said gently and Lionel hurried over.

“I’ve got five minutes left,” she whispered, “but I don’t think they’ll notice.” Mia tilted her head to the side.

“Take your time,” there was something reserved in Mia's tone, her voice deep and sending a shiver down Lionel’s spine.

“Take a table, anywhere.” She ran to the back room to sign out, proper hours be damned. This was close enough.

“Is that what this was about?” Tilda commented, she still had five hours left in her shift and was a little grumpy for it. She squinted at the young woman seated in a middle booth.

Lionel just shook her head, “no judging. It’s not about anything.” She grinned so widely it felt like it might hurt, she winked. “Yet.”

“I ain’t one to judge," Tilda said loosely, "the lord made girl’s like that to tempt nun’s themselves.” She waved a hand in the air and snorted, “it’s a step-up from Rickey, I’ll give you that. This one actually know their way around a downstairs department store?”

“Oh my God,” Lionel threw her apron into her purse, “I’ll see you later Tilda.” She waved, “Tell Mikey absolutely nothing is happening.”

“He thinks that girl is a demon or something.” “I know!” She ran through the door, “not even close.” Tilda was just laughing again.

Lionel darted up to Mia's table with wings on her heels, “Come on.” She came grabbed for Mia’s left hand, “Let’s get out of here. There’s a farmer’s market in Edward’s today, Edwards! I’ll pay for the gas.” “Wait,” Mia said stiltedly, the reserved tone was back. “Wait. Just a moment. I wanted to… well, I have this for you.” Lionel blinked a couple times, “Ah, Mia,” she grinned, “you know I love flowers, but I’m running out of vases. I’ll be filling the bathtub with them soon.” Mia shook her head, and suddenly Lionel recognized the diving sadness behind her gaze. “Want to sit for a moment?” Lionel frowned and folded into the booth across from her, heart sinking. This was supposed to be the day. After a few dinner’s out at other restaurants and a trip to the fair Lionel had decided it had been long enough, she was ready to kiss a wolf.

But maybe Mia knew that.

“What is it?” She held herself perfectly still.

Mia looked at her hands, tapping her short nails on the table. “Open this.” She passed a present to Lionel, it was elaborately wrapped in shiny blue wrapping paper and the bow on top might as well have been a work of art onto itself. Uh-oh. Lionel hesitantly took the box, she picked at the ribbon on the top tepidly, then she put it down again. “No,” she lifted her chin up, “I won’t.” Mia’s eyes went wide, a half-hearted smile followed, “I promise it’s not a dead bird or something.” She said delicately, “I’m not actually that much like Honey Cakes.” Lionel shook her head, “I know what this is.” She huffed, “and I’m not having it.”

“What is it?” Mia blinked rapidly and then sighed. Lionel made a face, “it’s only been a few months,” she whispered, “passing through should take longer than that I say. A little longer. I have an uncle who’s been passing through here since ‘75.” Mia’s head fell, broken down on the spot, she looked away. “You’re too smart for your own good.” “I know a going-away present when I see one.” Lionel made a face at her, “I suppose you were hoping I was an idiot.” “No!” Mia squirmed in place, “it’s one of those things I really like about you... it just makes this so much harder.” “Then don’t do it,” Lionel swiftly looked toward the road outside. Mia sighed, reaching for Lionel’s hand and taking it. She stroked the top of Lionel's hand with her thumb, “don’t worry.” She whispered, “your life will be better for it. Wolves… are carnivores. They eat everything good whole."

“They’re pack animals too,” Lionel took her hand back and looked down at her lap, “are you just going to keep being alone after this? Is that really better than being with…” She hummed for a long moment, “you know.”

She looked up just in time to see Mia bow her head, “nothing would be better than that.” She reached for her again, “but we can’t.” Lionel’s pulse spiked, I can't do this, it was too much, she couldn’t. She sprang to her feet, hopping up and slipping out of the booth and dashing for the door. She ran out into the parking lot and took deep gasping breaths. “Goddammit.” Mia ran after her, “Lionel.” She called desperately. “Lionel, you know what I am. You already guessed a long time ago; I have a target on my back.” “So?” Lionel looked up at the puffy white clouds and gritted her teeth.

“Wolves are bad news. Lone one’s are even worse…” Mia struggled with her words. “I have to keep moving. There are hunters, and other packs. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Lionel turned, slowly, carefully, around. “But it happened.” She whispered, “you really want to go back?” Mia shook, barely moving at all. “I can’t do it to you. I can’t, it’s not a stable life.” Lionel’s hair tickled her shoulder tops as she moved, “fuck stable.” She took a bold step toward her, “I let you into my restaurant, all grubby and sad-looking. Let me in now.” Mia didn’t move back, “God, this is hard.” She murmured, “I won’t be able to replace any of it you know.” Her brow dented, “you, arguing with telemarketers, cooking everything with that weird cheese, yelling at the TV. I won’t be able to replace it.” Lionel put her hands out, “then don’t.” Lionel crept closer and Mia didn’t pull away, her expression softened. Lionel slowly rested her arms around Mia’s neck, inhaling her earthy scent and drinking in her clear eyes, Mia let her. It was bright out, bright and heart-pounding, but Lionel found a way forward, moving their faces so close together it stung.

Mia put a hand through Lionel’s hair and her breath tickled her cheek. “You might regret this.” Lionel shrugged, “try me.” And then they came together, golden and impossible. She kissed her, a sugar rush of lips and firm touches, they had been waiting for this. Mia’s fingers pressed into her waist and drew her close, kissing like an undertow with no ground to catch yourself on.

Lionel kissed back, hungry and soft for it, soft with the warm breathy sighs and movements and all the things she hadn’t hoped for. She got lost in the heady world of a girl and something she didn’t know was possible.

She was new again.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Mia drew one last thing on a receipt for the diner: thanks for everything. I’ll return her in one piece.

Lionel added something as well: I won’t.

--------------------

if you enjoyed the story please consider donating to my ko-fi or subscribing to my website

[daddysfavouriteboytoy]

Roméo Valentin Jacquemin

Name: Roméo Valentin Jacquemin Age: 22 Birthday: 17th September Gender: Male Sexuality: Homosexual Ethnic: French Languages spoken: French, English, Spanish, German as well as a bit of Italian, Turkish, Hungarian, Ukrainian and Russian Species: mutated human Appearance: his fingers and lips are tinted a light blue colour  (Face-Claim: Alex Puértolas)

Clothing: When he was still living with his parents, he normally would wear grunge clothes. Now, he wears the few things which he brought with him. The only difference to then and now is, that the clothes are pretty torn and quite dirty. Height: 1,89 m Piercings: a lip piercing Tattoos: on his right shoulder blade Scars: He has a big scar which starts on his upper lip and ends on the middle of his cheek, another big one under his right eye which reaches from ear to the bridge of his nose and a third, smaller one on the right side of his neck. All three of them are from his first encounter with the IMCO. Illnesses: Mutation, slight insomnia Personality: To a lot of people’s surprise Roméo is relaxed and warm, with a “live and let live” attitude. Naturally, these trades should make him likeable and popular if it wouldn’t be for his mutations. However, he tries not to let that fact tear him down, instead, he is really good at relating to others’ emotions and helping them to establish harmony. Being so aware of others’ emotions, Roméo uses creativity and insight to come up with bold ideas that speak to people’s hearts. While it’s hard to explain this quality on a resume, this vivid imagination and exploratory spirit help the man in various, unexpected ways. Beneath his shyness beats an intensely feeling heart, as well. When he is caught up in something exciting and interesting, he can leave everything else in the dust. Freedom of expression is often his top priority. Anything that interferes with that, like traditions and hard rules, creates a sense of oppression for the guy. When situations get out of control, he can shut down, losing his characteristic charm and creativity in favour of gnashing teeth. Relationships: Germaine Jacquemin – step-mother; 55 years old; CEO; married; alive Pierre-Marie Jacquemin – father; 58 years old; fashion designer; married; alive Christiane De Saint-Pierre – older half-sister; 31 years old; actress; married; alive Abel Jacquemin – older half-brother; 27 years old; author; married; alive Séraphine – a stray dog which follows Roméo after he shared his food with her once Fears: the IMCO, losing his dogs, a lot of attention/speaking in front of a host of people, being completely alone, being experimented on, touching others Likes: sunflowers, big dogs, peace, frozen yoghurts – no matter the season, plants, classical music as well as punk rock, people treating him like a normal human being, meditation, long walks through the woods, the smell after it rained Dislikes: his family, unfamiliar situations, being compared to his brother, having to hide who he truly is, violence, IMCO, being different, mould, not having enough to eat, traditions Hobbies: urban exploring, swimming, strolling around, climbing on trees, travelling, ice skating Occupation: Thief Housing: abounded House Powers: can control ice, is able to freeze pretty much any liquid, can make it snow very slightly but only five square meters around him, his skin is extremely cold and leaves a thin layer of ice on the things he touches as well as giving others frost bites if they touch it Position: Switch Virgin: Yes Turn-ons: risky places, pet names, scratching, hickeys, foreplay, aftercare Turn-offs: degrading nicknames, golden showers, bad hygiene, being interrupted Other:

never stays too long at one place

his nose starts bleeding heavily whenever he overuses his powers

he sympathises more with animals than humans

is surprisingly good at picking up foreign languages

Backstory:

"Good evening. We are interrupting your regularly scheduled program to declare a state of international emergency. With the information that we've been provided with so far, it is our understanding that a high profile military experiment has gone awry. As a result, untested chemicals of great biohazard risk have been exposed to the environment. We can not provide any further information on the corporation responsible for the leak. Experts from the science field all around the world have come to a consensus on the matter. Evacuation will not be effective. By now the chemicals have contaminated the water supply, the air supply, as well as the food supply. According to the experts, should only affect individuals containing a specific gene found in only 3% of the population. For those individuals, the chemical could cause mutations of unknown proportions. Everyone, please stay calm at this time of mass hysteria, be safe, and be aware of anyone altered by these chemicals." Credit [x]

Roméo was not a planned child, which definitely showed in the way his parents treat him. Already during his first year of living, he was raised by maids, nannies and all the other people his parents paid to take care of him, so they didn’t need to. During his childhood, the rest of his family was also rarely home, his parents always travelled around the world while his brother was occupied by his studies and hobbies. It even went so far that Roméo didn’t even know he had an older brother the first few years of his life. Only when the boy got older his parents slowly stood home for longer periods of time. During those years, Roméo started school and his parents paid private tutors to teach him just the same things as his brother. Unfortunately, their youngest son wasn’t really into those hobbies nor very good at school. Quickly, the two parents began to get annoyed with their child and started to complain about why he couldn’t be as talented as his older brother who seemed to be flawless at everything he did. At first, the blonde spent a lot of time trying to live up to his parents’ expectations and get even better grades than his brother. This way, Roméo spent all of his elementary and middle school years, trying to somehow get the attention and approval of his parents by being the perfect son. Only when the blonde eventually got taught high school stuff, he realized that it was an impossible task. Therefore, he decided to just accept it and ignore his parents just like they ignored him. Roméo joined an ice-skating club which was a few blocks away from his home and nearly always met with internet friends after practise, so he had time to spend as little time as possible at home. It's true to say that Roméo had a somewhat normal and easy life until that threatful day. Some news lady announced the failing of a military experiment and warned people of possible mutations. At first, the blonde boy could only roll his eyes at the news, not believing one word that left her mouth, he thought it was some kind of stupid prank or joke. Well, his thinking changed quite quickly because he soon realized that he was one of the few 3 percents who had this strange gene in them. He changed, no, his body changed. Suddenly his body temperature decreased drastically and his lips, as well as his fingers, turned light-blue. Unfortunately, this was the reason why his parents suddenly paid attention to their unloved son. Now they thought he was an even worse disgrace to their family, then he was already before. After his strange changes, Roméo wasn’t allowed to leave the house anymore and soon he wasn’t even able to touch anyone anymore without leaving frostbites on their skin. His life grew dark and lonely, in a gigantic house without anyone to talk to apart from his private teachers, he couldn’t even use a phone nor a computer without destroying the device. However, Roméo wasn't the only one struggling during this time. When all these unnatural powers and mutations started to pop up it was disturbing the natural balance of the world. While the newly dubbed "mutants" only made up a small portion of the population, they still posed a threat to the safety of society. In response, a task force by the name of IMCO (International Mutant Containment Organisation) was formed, hunting down anyone with the unique gene in order to lock them away from civilisation. Roméo survived a year with the torture of his family and did not go crazy, however, a few months after his 18th birthday, the blonde decided to escape this hellhole. Yet, his parents seemed to somehow have found out about their second son’s plan and informed the IMCO about his existence. Just one day before the young adult could finally flee from the mistreatment of his family, two officers of this organization busted into his room and tried to tackle him on the ground and take him with them. However, for the first time in his life, Roméo decided to fight back, he had enough of being pushed around. Some might have considered this a huge mistake, a certain death sentence even, but for the unloved man, it was the only chance to have at least a slight chance to survive. Although in the heat of the moment, the mutant got badly hurt, he still managed to escape the officers and take a small suitcase with him in which his most important belongings were. However, this fight wasn’t won without sacrifice. Roméo did something he never dared to even think about, he killed a human being. Though it was an accident, he gripped the guy’s throat and unintentionally froze it, resulting in the other’s suffocation. It was a moment he tried to forget or at least suppress ever since. Shortly after his escape, he was only able to focus on one thing by then, surviving on the street. Despite him having stolen a big sum of money from his too rich parents, it was more than obvious that he was a mutant due to his looks. Simultaneously, he was on the run from the IMCO and police. That was also the reason why he left France and travelled the world, not staying anywhere longer than a year, this depended heavily on the size of the country he was currently staying in.

Starter

[kalluun-patangaroa]

Suede

SKY magazine, December 1993

written by Simon Witter 

"HELLO! WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?!" asks Brett Anderson rhetorically, staring at the fluff he has just removed from his ear. "I haven't taken these earrings off for about nine years."

It may seem an incongruous moment to ask the 27-year-old indie pin-up about his personal style, but hey, that's the kind of guy I am. "Tatty," replies Brett with a wry smile. "I haven't been able to get out and go shopping."

Brett Anderson, frontman of Suede – the British pop sensation of 93 – is hotly rumoured to have a great dress sense. Today however, perched uncomfortably behind an executive desk at the central London HQ of his record company, his head inadvertently framed by a halo of Right Said Fred promotional balloons, he is sporting a navy blue jeans'n'top ensemble he accurately describes as "just anything". Brett has been telling me how he spends most of his time with people who work in shops or are unemployed – "real people, not in the business" – so I presume this boutique bonding provides a clue to his supposed, though temporarily non-evident, style savvy.

"Oh no," he gasps. "Not clothes shops! Most of my friends are in food shops. So I know a good bit of brie when I see it."

The thought of Brett Anderson having, at any point in his life, ever eaten food, conjures images of pigs flapping their trotters as they sail past this second floor window. But we press on with the personal style enquiry.

"I want to change it at the moment," he says. "I'm sick of wearing second-hand things. I used to have a grudge against new clothes because I don't like wearing things that another thousand people are wearing. It's nothing to do with being into clothes from years ago, or tatty clothes at all. I'm quite keen to toy around with my style until I eventually find something, to have clothes made for me. There's never anything, when I go out and look for clothes, that I really love. I've got quite a strong vision of what I want, which would be very, very well fitted things. I don't like baggy things. I like lots of ethnic looks. I really like the Spanish look, that sort of matador thing." By way of explanation, Brett strikes a pose, clicking imaginary castanets above his head. "I like that shape. Prince wears a really brilliant little thing sometimes. When I kept getting my bellybutton out, it was really a desire to achieve that shape more than anything, nothing to do with flaunting my navel."

It's well worth flashing your bellybutton while you still can, I assure him, a rueful hand on my own expanding waistline.

"Yep," he smiles. "Well I can't anymore. Not after that chinese last night."

In May of 1992 Suede released their first single, 'The Drowners'. They had already been on the cover of Melody Maker – before they had a record out – and would grace 18 other British magazine covers over the next year, including the cover of Q on just their second single. Their eponymous debut album, released last March, went straight to No. One in the charts and went on to win the Mercury Prize, and last autumn they released a full-length concert video Love & Poison. At this rate, it will be time for their memoirs by easter.

Within the bizarre, incestuous fishbowl of the British music media, Suede have become almost self-damagingly important. After a couple of wilderness years spent faffing about, finding their feet and being universally loathed, their overnight transformation into the most hyped band in the world was nothing short of miraculous. Yet it created impossibly high expectations of their music. A German friend told me how surprised he was, after long distance exposure to their media glare, to discover how average Suede sounded – a judgment that casual discovery of the first album would hardly have elicited. And while touring America, their support act the Cranberries famously outshone them by an enormous factor when it came to album sales. Yet phase one of Suede's career has been – or appeared to be – so extraordinary, that they are going to be hard-pressed to follow it up with anything similarly momentous.

For now, we have 'Stay Together', a new, epically long single. As a measure of Suede's magnitude in the reality-starved world of British indie pop, I am treated to an absurd preview of the track the day before meeting Brett. Before entering the listening room I am subjected to a bag search to check – I kid you not! – that I'm not carrying a concealed tape recorder.

In LA, the world capital of muso control freakism, I was played U2's Desire, the immediate-follow up to their 15-million selling Joshua Tree album, eons before its release without anyone thinking twice. Yet now, without a hint of humour or irony, I am being treated as if I not only know anyone who cares what the next Suede single sounds like, but would be willing to pay for a tape of it recorded through a leather bag.

After regaining consciousness, I join in the fiasco, insist on a full body search (well, at less reputable establishments you'd have to pay good money for this touchy-feely experience) and am seated. The label boss places two speakers on each side of my head, facing my ears from about 20" away, turns it up LOUD, and begins to do that embarrassing, pseudo appreciative in-chair grooving that only people who work in record companies and recording studios have the gall to indulge in. "It's not pompous," he assures me, "even though it's eight minutes long."

Of course any pop song – as opposed to dance record – that lasts eight minutes is by definition pompous. 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was gloriously, defiantly pompous with a side order of pomposity to go. But, despite the circumstances, 'Stay Together' sounds like a fine, many-hued song, liberally doused with Bernard Butler's life-saving guitar, that is destined neither to win many new fans nor shock the devotees.

"It's about a sense of unrest I feel about the world," Brett tells me the following day, in an ill-advised shot at an explanation. "An attempt to make some sense when everything seems to be going slightly insane. I do get a real sense of impending doom, but not in a depressing way, not like we're all gonna die, let's go and rape people. I feel quite content with it. We're living under some shadow, and I'm not quite sure what it is. It's a bit like the fears I felt when I was growing up, when things were unstable and there was the threat of nuclear war, or the fear that your parents could die of aerosol poisoning."

Brett grew up, together with Suede drummer Mat Osman, in the soulless satellite town of Haywards Heath, between London and Brighton. According to Osman, if they'd been the tea party fops people make them out to be, they would've formed a grunge band. They only wanted to be really glamorous because of their stultifyingly dull working class backgrounds. Some might say that that would lead to the three-Es-a-night, dance-and-forget syndrome, rather than the formation of a glam rock band.

"Hopefully we're not a glam rock band," Brett shudders defensively. "You can escape those surroundings by taking a load of Es and ignoring it. Another way is to create your own myth, to try and become romantic in your own eyes, to create something beautiful out of the rubbish and the shit. It all sounds very Oscar Wilde, but that's the way we did it. None of us were brought up in workhouses, but we haven't had easy lives at all."

Suede claim to be obsessed with fame because they were excluded from it. Yet surely fame is the one classless thing people aren't born into?

"Lots of people are constantly privileged," says Brett, who has clearly spent an unhealthy amount of time pondering the abstract qualities of fame. "If you're born in Soho to rich professional parents, and you've got Jonathan Wotsisname coming round to your house every night to see your father, then you've got this world that you slip easily into. When you're excluded from it there's a desperation, you're desperate to have it. It doesn't come as second nature to you, like professionally famous people who hang out in Beverly Hills. It's not something you're comfortable with, but that mutates it into something far more interesting, a bit prickly and far more creative, because you're not just sitting there lapping it up."

Suede's appearance coincided not unfortunately with the post-Madchester 70s revival. But was their styling something more than just the result of being unable to afford new clothes? Personally, I had thought the emergence of Gary Numan had killed off the idea of anyone ever again wanting to be David Bowie (not to mention Bowie's recent records). Then along came Suede, with their rough guitars, their androgyny and their theatrical singer.

"I never thought of ourselves as '70s," Brett insists. "David Bowie is a genius, but the rest of all that rubbish I always found laughable. As for the clothes, I always thought we looked more 60s than 70s. It's all tied up with this whole kitsch thing, this Magpie and Porridge and rediscovering the culture of British music journalists' youths. Kids of 14 didn't know what anyone was talking about, it was just that the people in power had reached a certain age where they were getting sentimental about their youth and started remembering Magpie. That's all it was, all a complete load of rubbish. As soon as we were aware that this scene was going on, we wanted nothing to do with it."

Brett's voice is a highly variable instrument, perfect and beautiful on slow numbers like 'The Next Life', but occasionally, when he affects that archly operatic Bowie yodel, a whiney, sneering sound like Rik Mayall on speed boring into your brain – absolutely maddening. It goes without saying that his delivery owes much to the most overrated British pop star of the last decade, Morrissey.

"I forced my voice in that way because of how we were born, musically, playing shitholes. It was the only way I could make myself heard. I didn't want to sing in the murmuring way that was the style of the time. I wanted to project my voice, because I was writing songs that I wanted people to hear the words of. I wasn't just writing about fluffy little clouds, which is what everyone was doing at the time. People read into my intonations a theatrical seventiesness, but it was a complete accident."

Overworked as the subject is, it's hard to avoid asking why Brett thinks his androgyny caused such a fuss. It's not the first time it has been done; it's not even the tenth time. Genderless, mincing fops are to classic British pop what hairspray is to American rock, a staple ingredient. Brett, by comparison to most, is pretty tame.

"I don't know," he sighs. "We certainly weren't thinking 'oh let's be androgynous', it's just the way we are. I'm naturally quite an effeminate person – not all the time, I do play on things. I think it was because, at the time, people were so incredibly boring. We had been through five years of the cult of non-personality, and we never wanted to go with the flow. When everyone had their heads down, chugging away, we wanted to twist things a little bit. It's like at school, when you find that something annoys someone, you keep on doing it more and more. And that's what happened really."

A female psychologist wrote recently about the overt sexual expression of pre-pubertal girls at pop concerts, the way in which, amidst the non-contact hysteria of the pop experience, they could sometimes experience their first orgasm. She was, admittedly, talking about a Take That show, but I can't help wondering if it looks like that from the stage to Brett Anderson?

"No, nothing like that," he purrs, "nothing sexual. I always feel like people are putting it on."

Having their first fake orgasm?

"It's a bizarre thing in my head. I know they really like me, but I can't really take it seriously. When I'm onstage, and it's working, I feel like I can do absolutely anything. I feel as though there's no limit, even in the sense that I could fall asleep if I felt like it, because I'm that relaxed. I feel much more comfortable on stage than walking down the street. I could go off into a corner and do a crossword or shave my head. I feel ridiculously relaxed. I really enjoy the power of being onstage. It's to do with the circuit of the flow between the audience and you, when it's an audience willing you to be good. Your own power is an expression of how the audience is feeling, but I can't say I ever feel sexual, even if it looks that way. I think that to call the power purely sexual is to belittle it. When I've been to incredible gigs, it hasn't been a sexual thing, it has been something far more magical than that. "

Brett and Osman came to London in the mid 80s to study, respectively, architecture and politics at UCL and LSE. Suede began after they placed an ad in the NME in 1989, but initial concerts had audiences shouting "Fuck off!", critics calling them effete wankers and record companies running for the hills - a three-pronged invitation to eat shit and die that would have spelt the end for most bands.

"That X factor that made people despise us," muses Brett, "was something we managed to turn around in our favour. It's like being in love with someone, and exactly the same things you adore about them, completely horrify you when you've fallen out of love. We went away and learnt how to write songs, and came back transformed. And those qualities that originally pissed people off, we transformed into something provocative. I think the fact that we went through all that rubbish was a fucking good thing for us. People forget that the Beatles spent five years in Hamburg. No one would touch them in England, cos everyone thought they were an utter load of shit. They spent five years getting it together, suffering a bit and fighting for it."

A typical lyric from those hard years was Brett's line about "shitting paracetomol on the escalator". When they were recently described as chemically saturated, I had assumed more interesting chemicals were involved.

"That's about pure mundanity, being off your face every night and your staple diet coming from your bathroom cabinet. It's a metaphor for a humdrum life, going up and down the London underground, which I spent five years of my life doing."

In many ways this – Suede's poignant soundtracking of new depression Britain – is their strength. But if they are Her Majesty's equivalent of slackers, it hasn't made America any more amenable to their cause. Indeed, despite Brett's avowed loathing of the British character – "negativity, small-mindedness, lack of faith" – there may well be a Britishness about Suede which prevents America from getting the point.

Brett makes the mistake of quoting a Smiths song to me – something about innocence, fragility and trust – forcing me to point out that American audiences don't want to be trusted with something precious, they want to rock out with their cocks out. Evan Dando may wear a dress and pigtails, but the wider American market is notoriously unkeen on sexual ambiguity. Queen were big in America until the early 80s, when Freddie Mercury started appearing in full clone gear. They never toured America again, and didn't have a single hit until after his death (and then only thanks to Wayne's World). In fact, America's association of guitars and manliness make Suede fundamentally unsuited.

"No!" storms Brett. "I don't think we're fundamentally unmanly. All you have to do is come and watch us live. We're about sexuality, power and emotion, things that everybody feels."

Whether or not America is destined to fall for his Morrissey-meets-Larry Grayson stage persona, Brett's much-aired desire to move to America (and less well-known plan to live in Paris) has, for now, been replaced by a much smaller act of bedouinism.

"I've moved from Notting Hill to Highgate," he announces proudly, "from a fashionable place to a place where you're living in the last century pretty much. I was living in a very small flat in Notting Hill and it was driving me insane, I couldn't write and was being bombarded with nonsense all day long. I needed the peace and quiet, and now I have a bigger flat with a studio room in it and I'm writing quite prolifically. It's more serene, there's more space to think. It's quite a beautiful place, but you do feel like you're living in the last century, like you're some sort of oddity, or in a play. You keep going into these odd characters. But it's a great place."

In person, and despite the affectation of much of his thought processes, Brett Anderson is quite charming. An endearing smile – which seems to hibernate when cameras are around – plays constantly around his face, suggesting shared confidences which, to some extent, he delivers. Like so many people cocooned by over-protective minions, he is refreshingly open and approachable. I like him. But he is deeply shocked and incredulous when I paint a picture of the special treatment afforded him by those he works with.

"They treat me with the respect I deserve," he jokes defensively. "I don't have tea with Lenny Kravitz. My best friend works in a chip shop, and that's why I like it, it's a complete escape. One of the beautiful things about being successful is that it can rub off onto your friends as well. Not fame and all that bullshit – the really brilliant thing about being successful is the self-confidence, the sense of life having a purpose, that life is a wonderful thing. You open the shutters in the morning and the sunshine pours through. That sense of vitality about life can completely rub off on your friends. Sometimes it doesn't, it can go the other way, with friends ignoring you cos they think you don't have time for them, but that never happens with your proper friends."

And yet, engulfed in the sweltering perversity of his peer group, Brett has come to hold some pretty crap views, views that seem utterly irrelevant beyond the borders of saddo indie land. He worries about being thought a sell-out, thinks Suede are radically honest because they admit to having ambition – as if people didn't get over all that bollocks a decade ago – and, worst of all, that people don't talk enough about music in interviews. Oh dear!

But, despite all this, Brett's public image remains unshatterably cool. He exudes waves of sultry, sulky hipness. I feel an urge to know what naff items lurk in the corners of Chateau Anderson, his ownership of which will shock Suede devotees to the core. Brett tells me he's been to see Aladdin, listens to jazz music, likes The Orb and Verve and has just bought the new Shamen single. To prove it, he even does his Mr C impression - "Comin' on like a vibe, y'know!". This won't do at all.

"I like Terence Trent D'Arby," he admits, trying harder. "I think he's really good."

It's good, but it's not right.

"I bought Billy Joel's River Of Dreams album. I like that one."

Aha – as Inspector Clouseau used to say – now we are getting somewhere! What about films?

"No, I've got impeccable taste when it comes to films."

No feature length On The Buses video stashed chez Brett?

"No. I have got Crocodile Dundee."

Bingo and Bullseye! So much for impeccable taste.

"Well, my perennial favourite is Performance," he flusters wildly. "I can virtually quote the whole film from start to finish. And there's a brilliant film which I've just discovered called The Shout, with John Hurt, Alan Bates and Susanna York. It's about a man who has spent years in the Australian bush learning the secrets of the bush doctors coming to this ridiculously reserved Cornish village and turning two people's lives upside down. It's like an animal alive within this village, and when he shouts, everyone within a mile radius dies. If Alan Bates' part had been played by Vincent Price, it would've been laughable, but it's incredibly powerful, one of those great lost films."

It's a nice try, but nothing can erase the impression created by Billy Joel and Crocodile Dundee.

[music2liveby]

DAY 217: Ball and Biscuit by The White Stripes

Album: Elephant Release: April 1st, 2003 Genre: Blues Rock

Metropolitan area music scenes allow a great platform for musicians to cultivate hot spots of talent that reflect upon both the history and the culture of the respective area. Cities like Nashville, Tennessee and Austin, Texas have attempted to capitalize off their famous music scenes, going as far as accepting the title of the music city. Personally, if your city has a particularly special music scene, then you don’t need any title to back it up. For instance, the city of Detroit has been an epicenter across the history of music, home of Motown and rich in its blues roots. Detroit’s musical accolades are nothing to ignore, but they are not highly touted by the city itself. Among these prominent acts, one Detroit band that is often overlooked in much of the same way as they are in their respective genre are The White Stripes. I highly doubt I could pull someone from off the street, bring up the White Stripes, and be told, “They’re one of the all-time greats!”. If anything, I would bet most throw The White Stripes in the same category as other popular post-grunge alternative bands from the mid 90′s into the 2000′s. However, I would argue that The White Stripes deserve to not just be in the conversation of one of the greatest duos of all time, but be one of the first mentioned in that conversation. The first half of this duo, Meg White, worked at a local restaurant in Detroit called Memphis Smoke. She was a shy and reserved girl who decided to work instead of going to college, and eventually through her work met high school senior Jack Gillis. He would visit the Memphis Smoke during open mic nights and read his poetry, an early glimpse at Jack’s prolific songwriting abilities. The pair befriended and developed their relationship through to their marriage on September 21st, 1996, where Jack took Meg’s surname contrary to common practice. Jack was performing with numerous bands in the Detroit music scene, although none of these endeavors took off. It was when Meg began picking up the drums nearly a year after their marriage that Jack felt a spark of inspiration he’d not yet felt until then. He recalls of the instance, “When she started to play drums with me, just on a lark, it felt liberating and refreshing. There was something in it that opened me up." The two coined the band name The White Stripes with obvious nod to their shared surname, but also subtly to Meg’s obsession with peppermint candies. This obsession went as far as establishing a color aesthetic of black, white, and red that held constant throughout every studio release and single (except for a single Christmas release that included a splash of green). The two were very secretive about their relationship and reestablished their identity as brother and sister. According to Jack, this choice was made to keep the focus of The White Stripes on the music, not the musicians. He remarked, "When you see a band that is two pieces, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, you think, 'Oh, I see...' When they're brother and sister, you go, 'Oh, that's interesting.' You care more about the music, not the relationship—whether they're trying to save their relationship by being in a band." Ultimately, the pair would split romantically in March of 2000, but professionally pressed on in their musical endeavor. Sure enough, their divorce would come right before their rise to international fame with the release of their second album De Stijl. The composition of an average White Stripes album consists of Detroit-inspired blues in a garage rock style package with the occasional acoustic ballad thrown in for good measure, the former relying on the minimalism of Meg’s drumming combined with the gifted mind of Jack. Some critics consider her informal drum training a hindrance, but I prefer to view it as the maximum utilization of the tools you have to work with. That prospect very much embodied the sound of the duo’s smash hit release Elephant, which includes the anthem Seven Nation Army. However, Elephant has so much more to offer than its opening track, including today’s sludgy blues rock odyssey Ball and Biscuit. The longest track ever recorded by The White Stripes, this song lures the listener in with a steady blues riff that receives a boost from the gentle drumming of Meg White while Jack rambles on about the prospect of a drug-fueled relationship with the hypothetical female character in Ball and Biscuit. It soon after delivers the haymaker of clashing cymbals and a squealing guitar solo that peaks and falls multiple times throughout the seven minute spectacle. A large part of what works with The White Stripes as far as their simplicity is their choice in genre; blues music is not typically demanding of percussion. The talent of Jack White to build around a solid foundation and develop something enjoyable without being too musically complex is admirable and is a large part of the reason The White Stripes have only gotten more and more popular since the two called it quits in 2011. However, Jack White only continues to impress at only 44 years old with various musical projects including his own solo act. This post got a little longer than I anticipated, but my case for The White Stripes’ place towards the top of music’s greats is strong and can’t be held by the bounds of traditional formatting!

[sexydeathparty]

Mark Lanegan, Screaming Trees And Queens Of The Stone Age Singer, Has Died Aged 57

Mark Lanegan, singer of the grunge band Screaming Trees, has died aged 57.

The musician was also a member of rock bands Queens Of The Stone Age and The Gutter Twins, and collaborated with artists such as Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain.

A statement posted on Mark’s official Twitter account said he died at his home in Killarney, Ireland, on Tuesday morning.

The statement reads: “Our beloved friend Mark Lanegan passed away this morning at his home in Killarney, Ireland.  

“A beloved singer, songwriter, author and musician he was 57 and is survived by his wife Shelley.  No other information is available at this time. We ask Please respect the family privacy.”

Our beloved friend Mark Lanegan passed away this morning at his home in Killarney, Ireland.  A beloved singer, songwriter, author and musician he was 57 and is survived by his wife Shelley.  No other information is available at this time. We ask Please respect the family privacy

— mark lanegan (@marklanegan) February 22, 2022

Mark joined Screaming Trees in the 1980s and went on to produce eight studio albums until the group’s split in 2000.

He first appeared on Queens of the Stone Age’s Rated R album in 2000 and lent his voice and songwriting talent to several songs.

He later formed The Gutter Twins with Afghan Whigs vocalist Greg Dulli. The musician also featured on the 1995 album Above by Mad Season.

As frontman of Screaming Trees, the 6ft 2in star produced some of the genre’s most psychedelic and experimental music.

Formed in 1985, their commercial breakthrough came with the release of 1992’s Sweet Oblivion, which was buoyed by the popularity of grunge bedfellows such as Nirvana.

The album birthed their biggest single, the soaring Nearly Lost You.

When they disbanded in 2000 amid creative differences, Mark went on to establish himself as a varied and successful solo artist, working under numerous aliases and with artists including English multi-instrumentalist Duke Garwood and cellist Isobel Campbell.

In 2020, he published a “no holds barred” memoir called Sing Backwards And Weep, in which the musician covered everything from “addiction to touring, petty crime, homelessness and the tragic deaths of his closest friends”, among them Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain and Alice in Chains’ Layne Staley.

Last year saw him publish another book, a memoir called Devil In A Coma, in which he detailed his battle with Covid-19. In an excerpt from the book, published by The Guardian, he told of being placed in a medically induced coma while in hospital in County Kerry, Ireland.

An excerpt says: “From the moment I was brought out of my chemically induced sleep and was told what had happened and where I had been, I was determined to survive this nightmare, even though I had very little say, actually, no say in the matter, and had zero ammo to fight with.”

Speaking to the PA News Agency about his book and friends, he said in 2020: “I think about them both a lot. And the book actually restarted that thought process all over again.

“I kind of made peace with a lot of that stuff but it doesn’t mean you stop thinking about those guys or stop missing them or stop loving them.”

His last album, Straight Songs Of Sorrow, arrived to critical acclaim in 2020.

Throughout his career he collaborated with some of the biggest names in the music industry, including Massive Attack, Moby, Pearl Jam, the Eagles of Death Metal and more.

Screaming Trees drummer Mark Pickerel has led tributes to his former bandmate and “big brother”.

May you truly Rest in Peace Big Brother @marklaneganpic.twitter.com/XwgO10bRkL

— mark pickerel (@mtpickerel) February 22, 2022

Very sad news about Mark Lanegan. "in The Fade" by @qotsa is one of the greatest songs of all time. nearly lost you is incredible 💔

— Mark Ronson (@MarkRonson) February 22, 2022

Devastated by this-heartbreaking a huge talent on so many levels-such an amazing voice and all those beautiful words-love and respect to family friends and all those who loved his unique artistic vision💔💔💔 https://t.co/7UszbGg7iz

— Manic Street Preachers (@Manics) February 22, 2022

Mark Lanegan was a lovely man. He led a wild life that some of us could only dream of. He leaves us with fantastic words and music! Thank god that through all of that he will live forever. RIP Mark. Sleep well. Love Hooky. X pic.twitter.com/Xnx76y68YC

— Peter Hook (@peterhook) February 22, 2022

MESSAGE FROM IGGY: Mark Lanegan, RIP, deepest respect for you. Your fan, Iggy Pop

— Iggy Pop (@IggyPop) February 22, 2022

Aww man, Mark Lanegan.

— Elijah Wood (@elijahwood) February 22, 2022

Oh no. Terrible news that Mark Lanegan has left us. Safe travels man - you’ll be missed 💔

— Tim Burgess (@Tim_Burgess) February 22, 2022

Hearing about Mark Lanegan passing away has properly stopped me in my tracks. I’m absolutely gutted. Met him on a couple of occasions and I was nervous because I loved him so much. He was a perfect gentleman, really kind. One of THE great singers of the last 30 years. So sad 💔

— Badly Drawn Boy (@badly_drawn_boy) February 22, 2022

Killarney councillor and publican Niall O’Callaghan said people in the town were saddened to learn of Mark’s death.

He told the PA news agency: “On behalf of Killarney and the people, we would like to sincerely send our condolences to the family of Mr Lanegan.

“We are all in the town saddened to learn of the untimely death. Killarney is a small town and we all know each other; it’s a tight-knit community.

“It is a sad day for the town when you lose anyone who lived here. For a man of the stature of Mark Lanegan, it was a real honour that he choose to live in Killarney.”

from HuffPost UK - Athena2 - All Entries (Public) https://ift.tt/zo09E5d via IFTTT

[fly-on-paper-wings]

Isolate and Medicate (2014) by Seether

Seether is a rock/alternative metal band founded in South America. Isolate and Medicate is the 6th studio album from the band. It features 10 Tracks on the original album, with a bonus 4 on the deluxe edition of I&I. I listened to the standard edition.

Seether is large part of my early teenage years. With singles throughout their career, like: Fine Again, Remedy, and Broken, I knew that Seether was a well-established blend of hard rock, and post-grunge. However, I just never went out of my way to sit and listen to a full length album from the band. The one time I tried, it was from their album, Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces. The wordy album didn’t do me too many favors, which led me to shying away from the band.

It wasn’t until I rediscovered Words As Weapons, that I decided to give the album a spin. The album starts off great with See You at the Bottom. It starts with a low guitar that you can tell is ready to rip into the listener. What follows is crashing cymbals and grinding guitars. Singer Shaun Morgan’s voice is as good as usual, with good delivery. If you like the Seether formula, you’ll love this. I love an opening track that gets you ready to sink your teeth in the rest of the album. While it’s not my favorite opener ever, I believe that this is a solid, well done open by the group.

From there, we move onto Same Damn Life. One of the big singles of the album. Same Damn Life is fun radio rock. You can tell the band were having a ton of fun crafting this song and the chorus really stands out. I like the steady rhythm of the guitar to go along with the verses as well. The song isn’t astounding by any means, but it serves it’s purpose.

Now, we move onto Words As Weapons. The song that renewed my interest in the band, at least for the purpose of visiting the record. To my surprise, it holds up. Now, like Same Damn Life, it won’t take your breath away. However, it’s the one of the top songs lyrically by the band, which is saying something, considering Seether isn’t known for outstanding lyrics. The song isn’t special, but it’s catchy, the backround oohs and aahs help emphases the chorus. It’s really just a well rounded song that sounds good as a single. The band strived for something beautiful to say, and I’ll say they crafted a nice listen, and a good start to an album.

So now, we’re three songs in. And you know what? It’s pretty solid so far. Will it stay the same? The answer is… not really.

My Disaster follows, and this is when the trend of very subpar lyricism mixes with standard songplay. This is when I realize that Seether has a thing for gun imagery. I sort of noticed it way back to their first album Disclaimer, with the single Driven Under.

This isn’t to say My Disaster is a bad song. Shaun Morgan really tries to flex his voice in the chorus that altogether sounds really… whiny? I’m not really sure what he’s going for, but it is distracting. The guitar sounds good, with a nice steady rhythm, but the instrumental for the bridge is lackluster. This feels like filler, with an attempt to add some spice.

Unfortunately, that seems to be the theme. What follows are three songs, Crash, Suffer It All, and Watch Me Drown. Which, let’s be honest, are the most cliche song names for the genre.

Crash is… well, it Crashes the atmosphere. Here we have the standard ballad in the middle of the album. And of course, we have the gun imagery. Yikes. “You speak softly and carry a big gun.” Who signed off on this? The song isn’t bad… it’s fine. The instrumentals are fine. The drums are the best part, but again, they’re standard.

Suffer It All is a complete tempo change. It brings the grit that I prefer in Shaun’s vocals. Mixtures of gritty vocals and screaming is the hallmark of Seether rock. The chorus isn’t much memorable, neither are the instrumentals, but I appreciate the attempt to try to hook the listener back in for a subpar at best ballad.

Next we have Watch Me Drown. And Watch Me Drown is a song that exists. Look, it’s nothing dreadful. But it feels like a rewrite of Same Damn Life. I hear the verses, and I feel like I’m getting ready for the same chorus, although rewritten to refer to angst or something. It’s not necessary, it’s not needed, it’s filler.

Next is Nobody Praying for Me. Another single on a 10 track album, and it’s ultimately disappointing. This isn’t to say that it’s bad. The verses and low guitars build greatly into an underwhelming chorus. If there was a ballad on this album, I was expecting this to be it. I was expecting emotion. Instead, I was spoon fed another standard Seether song.

Track 9 is Keeping the Dogs at Bay. Keeping the Dogs at Bay surprised me, because it has a bite to it. Pun definitely intended. The song opens with guitar that is engaging, if not technically astounding. The lyrics lean on the words “figure” a lot, but that’s a nitpick at best. Really, this is just an enjoyable track that turned out to be a little better than I expected. I still would have liked to have a better bridge section on this one, though.

Finally, the last, and personally my favorite track on this album. Save Today is a great ballad by the band. The acoustic guitar open, mixed with the piano is so simple but works so well, and is done smoothly throughout the song. This is my favorite performance vocally by Morgan, and definitely my favorite lyrically. This is the emotion I was hoping for in an album titled Isolate and Medicate. The bridge section feels like a breath you’ve been holding onto for too long, and releases that emotion built up throughout. Save Today showcases the best of the band’s chemistry and ability in the record, it’s just a shame they couldn’t do the same for the entirety.

Overall, this is about what I expected from the band. It’s your atypical post grunge, hard rock album from an established band that has been going for quite some time. I really do like some of the songs on here, though I don’t think fans of Seether or the genre will be too disappointed.

Standouts:

1. Save Today

2. Same Damn Life

3. Words As Weapons

Score: 6.5/10

[rax-writes]

Title: Faux Pas Fandom: X-Men Word Count: 1,307 Characters: Warren Worthington III x Reader, Jubilation Lee Reader Gender: Female Warnings: Alcohol mentions, swearing Notes: Request from anon for “’You’re really hot, shame about the personality’ from one of your prompt lists (with warren please)”

“Please let me set you up!”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

Conversations such as these were frequent between Warren Worthington III and Jubilation Lee. The latter of the two was nothing if not persistent – and the former was nothing if not stubborn.

“You’ve been single for the entire time I’ve known you, and it’s my goal to change that,” Jubilee said proudly, wearing a bright smile as she crossed her arms.

“I’m not single because I can’t get a date – obviously,” Warren joked, motioning towards his body. Jubilee rolled her eyes. “I’m single because –”

“Because the only way you know how to flirt with a woman is by using lewd remarks and charm, but the only result that ever comes from using those tactics, is sex. Then if they do want a relationship, you panic, because you fear commitment, and you toss them aside like trash.”

Warren was stunned silent for a moment, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline, before he narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger at her. “Just because you’re taking a psychology class, doesn’t mean you can fucking psychoanalyze me.”

Jubilee tried to hide her exultant smile, but failed. Warren huffed and returned his attention to the television, which played a documentary on some band whose name she didn’t know.

“I haven’t met anyone who’s my type, so until I do, I don’t see the point in wasting my time.”

“That’s why I’m begging you to let me set you up with my friend. She’s perfect for you,” Jubilee persisted, taking the remote and turning off the TV. Warren shot her an annoyed glare and tried to grab the remote, but she shocked him when he touched her.

“If I let you, will you leave me the fuck alone?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

The sound of low, grunge rock flowed from the open doors of the building as Jubilee walked up to it, practically dragging Warren by his wrist. “The Viper Lounge” was painted in black on the brick wall, just above an elaborate snake baring its fangs. A couple passed them just as they entered, briskly they giggled to one another and stumbled over their own feet. They had clearly having spent a bit too much time at the bar, and were now thinking that one another looked far better than they actually did. The interior was dimly lit, and contained a long bar, with numerous tables in the exiting as center of the room. Each table was tall and round, with a rose and a candle in the center, and two barstool-style seats on either side. The majority were filled with various assortments of couples, as was the bar.

“What the hell made you pick this place for the date?” Warren inquired, raising a brow. “I mean, it’s great, but this doesn’t exactly seem like your kind of scene.”

“She suggested it,” Jubilee stated simply, scanning the motley crew of a crowd. “I don’t see her, so I’m going to go look for her.”

The small girl disappeared as she wove her way through the people, and Warren made his way to the most familiar place in the entire establishment: the bar.

Once he found an available seat, he situated himself there and ordered a shot of vodka. There wasn’t a chance in hell that he would ever admit it, but Warren was far more nervous than he anticipated he would be. He had a great deal of experience with women, but his experience with dating them was extremely limited. Jubilee had spent hours going on and on about how incredible her friend was, how much Warren would absolutely adore her – it made him actually want to do well on the date, versus just not giving any part of a shit. The shot burned its way down his throat and he set the empty glass back on the bar, thankful that the liquid courage was already beginning to give the desired effect. He exhaled slowly, willing his own nerves to calm down. That was when he took notice of the woman sitting next to him.

She was the type of beautiful that doesn’t let go of your attention once its captured. Her hair fell into her face as she gazed down at the old, battered book in her hand, and her other hand rested idly by a half-empty martini glass. Warren glanced behind him to see Jubilee still wandering around in search of her friend, so he figured that a bit of casual flirting while he waited wouldn’t hurt.

“So… did it hurt?”

The woman looked up at him, one unimpressed brow already raised. “When I fell from heaven? You’re the one with the wings, shouldn’t I be asking you that?” She looked him up and down, and the corner of her lips curved to form a tiny smirk. “That’s one of the cheesiest pick-up lines in the book. I would think a guy like you could come up with something a bit better.”

“Well, can you blame me? A woman as gorgeous as you knocks a guy like me off his game,” Warren explained, smiling devilishly and leaning on the bar.

“A guy like you also thinks that a bit of smooth talking, combined with some compliments, and maybe a few shots, will get me to go home with you. That sound about right?” she inquired, a hint of playfulness in her tone as her smirk widened.

“All of that, along with my good looks, yes,” Warren agreed, shooting her a wink. “How ‘bout I buy you another drink and we discuss it some more.”

“There you are!” Jubilee exclaimed, smiling brightly and wrapping an arm around the woman’s waist. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. And good, you’ve already found Warren! Bird boy, this is Y/N – your date.”

Warren felt the color drain from his face, but the woman’s grin remained.

“Yes, we’ve already chatted a little,” Y/N said casually, closing her book and tucking it into her purse. “He’s definitely hot – shame about the personality.”

Jubilee’s smile faltered a bit, as a realization appeared to dawn on her. “Oh, God, was he flirting with you?” Y/N nodded. “He’s not always like that, I promise. He’s actually been really nervous for this date. He changed his outfit at least five times tonight, and he spent twice as long as usual on his hair.”

“Stop fucking psychoanalyzing me,” Warren said, once again, and glared at Jubilee, who ignored him entirely. He had assumed that no one would have noticed his apprehension, but he forgot about little Miss Freud.

“Let’s just have a do-over, and I swear, you’ll absolutely adore him by the time the date is over. If not, then I’ll keep my promise to not bother either of you again about this,” Jubilee pleaded. Y/N eyed him for a minute, before nodding. Jubilee shot Warren a pointed look, and he exhaled slowly before holding his hand out.

“I’m Warren.”

“Y/N.”

“Perfect,” Jubilee praised, then hugged Y/N quickly and smacked Warren on the arm as she passed him. “Y/N, I fully expect a call once you get home. And Warren, if you screw this up again, I’ll destroy your record player. Have fun!”

The two sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments, and Y/N was the first to break it.

“I wouldn’t object to that drink.”

A relieved smile flooded Warren’s features, which Y/N mirrored, and he didn’t hesitate to call on the bartender. The date resumed, and despite its rocky start, it went incredibly well. He got along better with her than he did with the vast majority of his friends, and was pleased to find that they shared many interests. By the time it was over, Warren was already eager to spend more time with her, and had decided that dating was much better than he had originally thought.

@emmcfrxst @v-writings @brownvalerie @raypclmer @skywalkingdixon @harringtonmaximoff @alexsunmners @xxlil-miss-tricksterxx @jubillee

[dalle-translations]

Translation #2 - ◆Ryo Interview from DALLE’s Facebook Page (July 16 2017)

Disclaimer: This is a fan-made translation related to DALLE - a Japanese gothic punk band. The purpose of this translation is to make lyrics, interviews and official texts on the band’s website accessible to English speaking fans. Permission to translate this interview was given by Ken Hiraoka and DALLE. (Please note that neither English nor Japanese is my native language but I am fluent in both.) ---

◆Ryo Interview

Encompassing goth, grunge, modern heaviness, electro, dark punk and alternative - DALLE is a band that plays an emotional rock, ahead of its time. After their successful first full album release and solo show last year, they started this year with another successful overseas show and keep expanding their activities.

Within all of this, I (the interviewer) strongly feel a big change happening to them: A change from “Entertainment as a medium to observe reality through fantasy” up until their first album, to “Using entertainment to describe and share issues that are based on relatability to reality". In my opinion the latest single release “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly” (=The world’s end and goodbye heavenly) encompasses this current state of DALLE.

Through this interview with DALLE’s singer Ryo I wanted to get to the bottom of the reasons for this change/evolution. I hope to show his thoughts about society as they connect with the latest release “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly”.

*text：Ken Hiraoka（@hirafarcalm）

*Released：July 16. 2017

-----

-- I feel like you have changed a lot as a band since the beginning of the year. Your previous way of expression, where you viewed reality from a fantastical standpoint, has changed to a more straightforward expression that is closer to reality. Which shows in a change in your visuals and lyrics, too. I am especially interested in the changes that you personally went through. How do you feel and think about what has changed?

Ryo: You are right. Like you said, until the release of our first album and the solo show on December 16. 2016 at Harajuku Astro Hall, we were pursuing a gothic punk style that we had established in the beginning. But it was around that time that our band leader Atsushi suggested several times that he wanted to bring more reality into our way of expression and try out new ways of presenting it.

My impression is that this is where we overcome the constrictions of our gothic punk expression and expand our range towards “rebel music”. That means we are thinking about also including dance or hip hop elements.

-- I personally feel that there is a kind of relatability to the feelings of people living in today’s society in “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly”. From your point of view, as the person who has written the lyrics, in how far is that intentional? And is it something that you strive for?

Ryo: So far the focus of my style of expression (lyrics and vocals) was on "vague things", which was very important to me. Specifically that means that I didn’t use a subject or a first person perspective. I would never say "I" or write about things in a conclusive way. This technique of expression had become the center point of my personal style.

That's why the change in how I approached the lyrics for “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly” this time feels like a transitional phase for me. This change is happening as the result of exchanges between Atsushi and myself. He would suggest to do it a certain way, which I would then think through for myself, and then get back to him with another idea.

Not in relation to DALLE but from a more general standpoint, there are many things that we feel like we can't control, like for example the current state of society (the poverty issue, the ageing society, the pension issue)... I picked up the issue of "the young generation’s individual that is crushed by the power of the masses" that I described in ICU (a song on the first album) and wrote about it from the perspective of the parent generation, that couldn’t safe them. In the lyrics of “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly” I pose the question where one should set their focus/point of view in an information society that is nearing its end, in a world that is being torn into pieces. But I don’t bring up any specific group or raise any concrete questions. I wrote the lyrics with the intend to have them touch on the subject, but I wrote it in a vague way.

I think you can see it both ways. Personally, I think it is completely "deep" enough to listen to music or songs and enjoy them purely as art, pop culture or entertainment. And I think it is compatible to also have it relate to issues in our actual society and be understood from diverse perspectives, or be reflective of oneself.

-- I see. You said that you don’t include subjects in you lyrics. I feel like if you talk about a straightforward topic, this objectivity, or bird’s eye view on things, can create a wall in the communication or relatability between you and the listeners. What do you think about that?

In the previously mentioned punk or hip hop culture things are more straightforward. But personally I feel like there exists a shared sense of a disillusioned, bird’s eye view on society for you and your generation.

Ryo: I think it is partly a natural sense that I have always had, and partly how I connect to the culture of my generation.

I went to bands like BOØWY or NIRVANA at first, and after that flamboyant rock bands like X JAPAN, BUCK-TICK and others. But BOØWY, NIRVANA or BUCK-TICK were what you would call “rebel music”, right? I think I was influenced a lot by them.

-- I see. It’s just my personal opinion, but I see BUCK-TICK or BOØWY as “rebel music”. (Atsushi) Sakurai, (Hisashi) Imai or (Kyosuke) Himuro would also be influenced by artists that they looked up to, and skillfully package their messages about society in their lyrics.

In a way I think you and your generation come from the opposite standpoint in tackling messages about society, compared to them (the artists mentioned above). I get the impression that we are seeing this transitional phase in the recent release “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly”, too.

Ryo: I think that not limiting the subject can be understood as packaging your message, but ultimately if you haven’t put your own awareness of the problem or your consciousness/opinion into it, then.. how do I say this? …. I don’t like convincing people of my thoughts or opinions by going “It’s like this, right?”.

I guess my way of expression is that I want to leave room for the listener (the individual person’s thoughts) after I have presented them a selection of different viewpoints and issues that exist in the world.

-- This isn’t limited to just DALLE, but as an artist in Japan, do you worry about the backlash related to talking about real problems?

Ryo: For me personally the changes for DALLE or the transition in my approach in regards to expression are still things that I hesitate about… Especially here in Japan, if I voice my opinion about a certain issue, even if my intention is different, there won’t be a dialogue or exchange of opinions - so I worry that someone will find fault at it and slander it. I still haven’t found an answer for myself as to how to best convey my thoughts in this kind of environment.

-- I get you. For example in the US or other countries, people can get together in a bar, or some place, and exchange opinions with people of a different opinion, while respecting each other and guaranteeing the diversity of their views. That doesn’t exist in Japan.

Ryo: A long time ago, when Tibet was in the news because of a local crisis, we put up a “Free Tibet” banner on the website of my band at that time. But within about three days we received a number of very heated emails in Japanese expressing their opposing opinion. At that time I experienced first hand that I had made a mistake by touching on an issue directly with a thoughtless approach, since it was an issue that people had such passionate opinions about.

From that time onwards I made it my goal to not show an issue as an issue, but rather show the diverse sides of things and how a difference in standpoint or environment could lead to a different view. So basically what we mentioned earlier: sublimating my works by packaging the message.

However, if by my way of expression I can’t even create something that leaves - if only - a little impression on average people (and I include myself in that group), if all the work I leave behind for the next generation is just a passive style of creative work, then I think… that’s not enough...

So I started to think that if by picking up “rebel music” DALLE shows which opinions or viewpoints we hold, it might actually be good.

We make music, but in the end it’s not just music. It’s a complex art put together by the stage performance, the stage lights etc. It’s an entertainment that is put together in a space by a team of people.

So there might be people who enjoy it like a sport because they want to see a high playability, other’s might enjoy it as art, and again others might enjoy it because of how we approach issues of our time.

In other words, in the midst of sublimating the genres that I have been through like visual kei, electronica or rock, the stance of DALLE as a band is not to differentiate ourselves from other bands around us, but to say that we use the same ingredients but we cook them up differently.

What we as DALLE currently value is thoughts and how we feel about something, and that factors into what we put out.

-- In the lyrics to “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly” you scattered several phenomenons in a patchwork of sorts. Where did that choice of words come from?

Ryo: The “cool light” (hieta hikari) in the chorus refers to the blue light coming from a mobile phone, but instead of saying “the world reflected in a phone screen” and choosing a more realistic presentation of an issue, I changed the words to put in a buffer and allow different interpretations of what that “cool light” could mean. I choose techniques likes these, which might be one reason why it seems like a patchwork.

Another one would be “the daruma’s neck” (daruma no kubi), which doesn’t show much in the lyrics, but it actually relates to how the structure of capitalism is biased towards people at the top of certain influential groups or a group of wealthy people having advantages. It describes the wish to change these circumstances, in which only the ones at the very top receive the benefits. And we are the ones at the very bottom of this daruma otoshi game*(1) who are looking upwards, who are trying to kick the top off, .. well I don’t know if our legs are long enough to do that though. (laughs)

The desire to express these thoughts led to how I wrote the rap part of the song. However once we get to the chorus, a sudden sober feeling takes over saying “In the end, the world will just get torn apart and might as well just end, and it just keeps repeating itself tomorrow and the day after that”. This Satori generation*(2) like feeling about “the end of the world” and the rap part form a duality in the lyrics.

-- This patchwork-like style and the struggle between resignation and not being able to give up, that is characteristic for the Satori generation, can be felt in the lyrics.

Ryo: Actually I’m neither part of the “Satori generation” nor the “Yutori generation”*(3) but rather the “Ice age generation”*(4), which was a bit earlier. (wry smile) Until my teens I grew up in an environment where the tv and the general feeling of that time told us “Whatever you do, there is only fun things waiting for you!”. But once we got to the age where we would start job hunting, this future right in front of us just vanished into thin air. And in the last 20 years since then a feeling of nothingness persist in the Japan of today.

But instead of saying “Society is at fault” or “I/we should have done more” and putting my own opinions into it, hm… how do I say this.. (Thinks about it for a bit)

The point is, I also don’t know what’s the right thing to do. For example: If the pensions really disappear, I don’t plan to sing about how we want our pensions back, but I also don’t plan to say that everything in the world is fucked up and we should just resignate. My way of writing is limited to saying that the issues exists for everyone to see, so it’s everyone’s personal choice if they look at it or not

-- How do you look for example at people who raise their voices at demonstrations?

Ryo: I guess most people in our generation find it bothersome to raise their voices? I feel like most people who are close to my generation think that it won’t change anything anyway.

However, on a personal level lots of them probably think that if they don’t say anything and stay in the silent majority, that’s also bad. But it’s a generation where these thoughts don’t rise to the surface, I think.

-- So basically a combination of “not knowing how to tackle the dissatisfaction” and “not knowing what to do to change things”?

Ryo: Yes. We didn’t see the student protests*(5) happening in real time and we couldn’t hear the vivid experiences of war from our grandparents. So suddenly at some point we would become aware of shows on TV talking about the XXth anniversary of the end of the war, and even if we know that war is bad, we can only understand it on an ethical level but not really grasp it.

In the future we are approaching a time where our physical strength is weakening, the Japanese economy is rapidly declining and I feel like our generation is neglecting the question of how we create something like a future life.

-- I see. I personally feel that presenting a starting point to resolving these issues or dissatisfaction is what artists do. What do you think?

Ryo: With chart music, especially in Japan, there is no shortage of high quality music, that is impactful and quickly gains popularity. But there is a tendency for popular music to have standardized messages like “You are important” or “I’ll never leave you” that are easy to listen to and make the listener feel comfortable.

If someone on TV is deemed to be even just a bit of an annoyance they get removed and if you find out about it after it has spread widely, the solution is to resolve it with money… which I feel is common everywhere in Japan.

I myself had become apathetic, thinking “that’s just how the general public works, that’s just how the world works.”. If you ask me what I want to achieve by creating something, my goal for making music and becoming an artist was to move people’s hearts, to leave an impression, to maybe make them realise something.

In order to achieve that, of course it’s also okay to write a simple love song or a motivational song that’s loved widely. But I’ve slowly been feeling more strongly that I want to take steps towards a viewpoint that is more than just that.

Up until now I wouldn’t write easy going love songs, since I didn’t want to sell my view point cheaply to achieve relatability, but I also wouldn’t just simply write antisocial things that call for making fun of those above us. In the last 10 years of my creative life I would hold the death of my father, who died of cancer, in front of my eyes thinking “that’s how it feels to lose a person and have a family break apart”. I would center my work around how to put this view of life and death into my music and lyrics.

Actually two years ago I got in a motorbike accident and came close to dying. I was able to return to my usual life now, but it actually took me half a year to be able to walk again. Thinking how hard it would be to go on if I weren’t this able-bodied… I’m not joking, it was really an accident to the extent of making me think “wow, I could have died there.”  

It really made me turn my head and think about how easily we can all die. It made me change how I thought about wanting to protect myself by creating harmless and inoffensive things only.

This doesn’t just manifest itself in things related to society, but I think it’s a gradual change in how I approach my style of expression and of topics that I would have avoided before.

-- Listening to what you’ve said so far, I feel like it’s a sensitivity similar to that of A.R.B (Ryo Ishibashi).*(6)

Ryo: Hmm, I’m aware of him, but I haven’t read his lyrics that thoroughly. I see… There is a duality in me too, or rather there is a side of me that struggles with how to best present these real expressions, like for example Ryu Murakami in “Almost Transparent Blue”*(7) didn’t he use a direct expression like “cutting one’s wrists”.. in that book?

I like that kind of style too. Even when I was still an inexperienced child, I realized that that’s a way of writing that really makes me think. It is a real approach, but also put together very beautifully. The way I want to create works is to both have a complex layered theme but also be factual at the same time. But well, “if you run after two hares you’ll catch neither”*(8) right? (laughs) I think I want to experiment with both sides further.

-- You currently play in several bands at the same time so you can experiment as much as you want, or not?

Ryo: I’ve never gone solo as an artist and I think the time when I will experiment with my own way of expression as a solo artist will probably be at an age where I think of retirement...

Right now, with all of the bands that I play on there’s a completely different energy depending on the people that I play with. That’s one of the reasons that I choose to be active in many bands. But rather than thinking “What can I do here?” my focus lies on how I personally, and how my abilities can be useful in each band.

It’s a bit of a contradiction, but actually the focus of my several activities is myself. That’s why, I don’t clearly draw a line between myself in these different bands. I want to try to keep an always changing, fluid way of expression through my activity with them, even though I don’t know if I am just fumbling for higher perfection or making myself busy by doing so.

-- Let’s get back to DALLE again. You perform together with different artists for these events called TOKYO DEATH DISCO that are hosted by DALLE as well. Where there any artists in particular that you felt inspired by?

Ryo: The two bands that we performed opposite of during the TOKYO DEATH DISCO events, that left a special impression on me were vez and JUSTY-NASTY. Especially since I had listened to JUSTY-NASTY back in the day, it felt nostalgic and very emotional. Also Futoshi from vez used to be in THE HATE HONEY with Atsushi, so that performance was also full of emotions and has left a strong impression on me.

-- Right now your activities are focusing on the TOKYO DEATH DISCO events, but would you personally like to perform at festivals or other events well?

Ryo: I’d really like to play at festivals too. I guess it depends on whether there is an interest or a need for DALLE to play at events held by other bands. We leave the administrative things to Atsushi, and I focus on the vocals and the creative work.

-- Listening to what you said until here, I feel that we are part of the same generation and share similar thoughts. It’s really very interesting.

Ryo: I had quite a contradictory personality. There are many artists who see that something is becoming popular and quickly include it in their art, but I really couldn’t do that. So if something became popular I would just stop doing it. (laughs) If there was something that I thought that I wanted to do some day, but someone else did it before me, I was the annoying type who didn’t want to do it anymore. (laughs)

But with more experience, and thanks to having played together with many people over time, I now feel like trying out things that I had avoided before. I’m also looking forward to finding out if this will show as a change in my social nature and my messages.

-- Right, that will probably be influenced not only by your immediate surroundings but also by society in general.

Ryo: I'm not very good at predicting things like that…  Of course I think thoroughly about the lyrics and songs I write, but I'm not the type to plan out everything beyond that.

No matter how relevant an issue or lyrics might be on a social level, if it doesn't resonate with me it will just come out as a shallow song. It won't resonate with the listeners either and just feel like I'm lying to them.

I put out the words and choose these social topics because I felt this change. If I write from a social approach in the future, it won't be as imagined from one side of the issue but about the general state of it.

-- I feel like “Owaru sekai to sayonara heavenly” is opening a door to a new world for both DALLE and you as an artist.

Ryo: If I wanted to I could have given more direct suggestions in the lyrics but in the end these issues aren’t something that I alone can cover completely. They already exist everywhere in the world and many people around me have too much on their hands.

But if we don't take a look at what's behind the issues right in front of us, we will get caught up in it all, without realizing that the world, in a broader sense, is ending already. I don’t want to do that. I want to choose my own “state of the world” or “end of the world”, what I leave behind and how I spend my days. This is something like a first …. proposal, a first motivation for it.

-- I see. What do you think about, for example, not avoiding to say these things that you can't grasp, but laying them open for the listeners through your songs and giving everyone a reason to think about the issues?  

Ryo: I don’t have that weird pride or wish to show myself in a good light anymore. Of course I want to leave an impact on stage and be someone who fascinates people. But I’m not feeling superior to others, or desire a superior environment anymore. I’ve developed a consciousness for sharing a better world or environment, and I think it’s nice to share that with the audience through songs.

-- If that works out, then it creates a two-way relationship between artist and audience that connects both more strongly. Listening to what you said so far made me realize that.

Ryo: For the longest time I was drawn to introspective songs like those by Curt Cobain, David Sylvian or Thom Yorke who would construct or project their own worlds and invite the listener into it.

I was actually valued for my worldview often, too. But no matter how much work you put into your miniature world, if the listeners don’t set foot into it...; or no matter how thoroughly you construct it, the outline or the beauty of that world is hard to understand. So I hope that one of the topics, that this interview will put into words, will be how I take this introspective style of creating art and maintain it, while also facing the world.

-- Haha, I hope I can make it that interesting in the (written) interview too (laughs) But it was a really interesting conversation.

Ryo: I think it’s actually good to show which kind of elements have had an impression on how I create things. To be honest if it seems like I just came up with everything myself, I think that would be a bit lame.

I definitely received incentives and opinions from many people, that doesn’t mean just writers and staff but also the listeners opinions. On the other hand I wouldn’t say that I am just acting out of these influences, but I feel that now is the time for me to find a good way for myself.

-- Finally, is there anything you would like to add about the solo show on August 18th?

Ryo: The title of the show is “summer sadness” but we haven't yet fully decided on a plot for what we want to express during this show. The four of us, as DALLE how it is now, have done our first solo show, released an album, done our gig overseas, and now we are slowly but gradually changing into something new. There will be big shifts too, but when it comes to something like for example Közi’s special aura or his fascinating stage presence, that isn't something we plan to change. We want to use what we already have, the cards we have been dealt, become one with the audience at our next solo show and open a new door together that day. That’s what I look forward to.

-- Thank you very much for today.

Some annotations and links for further context:

*(1) daruma otoshi game = https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daruma_doll#Children.27s_games

*(2) Satori Generation = https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satori_generation

*(3) Yutori generation, relates to the generation brought up influenced by Yutori education: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yutori_education

*(4) Ice age generation = Describes the “lost generation” that spent their childhood during the “bubble years” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_asset_price_bubble) and experienced a rich, prospering Japanese economy, but ones they became adults the bubble burst and they struggled to find jobs and their place in life.

*(5) He refers to the student protests at the end of the 1960’s in Japan.

*(6) A.R.B.: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARB_(band)

*(7) Ryu Murakami - Almost Transparent Blue (novel) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almost_Transparent_Blue

*(8) He uses the proverb 二兎を追うものは一兎をも得ず = “He who runs after two hares will catch neither” to say how he wants to achieve two opposing things but it might not be possible.

(Source: DALLE’s Facebook Page)

Please also check out the original interview on Facebook (link above) for some photos.

[fridaynightbordercrossing]

An Interview with Torno

Torno is a group that rescues the true rock essence within the scene and that is part of the tradition that gave Tijuana bands like Iron Blood, La Cruz and Armagedón, besides having the leadership of a generation that began with Seol, Majesty , Militia and others, but now pushes even stronger with Alchemy and others, Let's get to know a little about them and their way through the Tijuana rock road.

THE BEGINNINGS "Torno was born in 99, after performing at the Millennium Festival, Daniel Navarro (drummer / vocalist) and myself -Hafid Hernández (guitarist)-, around 97, we joined two bands before. Then, the band formed with other members.  I took guitar lessons since I was 16 and I listened to heavy rock, the joke was that I listened to classical music and in that way my admiration for rock was given, more than anything for guitars".

"The way I -Daniel- arrived, was because i was attracted to rock, especially in the grunge era, since I heard Queen and Metallica too in high school. I stole my brothers' records to listen to them. After that, I met Hafid in '97 and it was here when I started playing, to tell myself that I had the rhythm, initially singing".

THE INFLUENCES "Notice that in my case, I read an interview with Van Halen. Eddie commented that he practiced the guitar, then his younger brother Alex went out with the girlfriend and came back late, at 3 in the morning and Eddie was still practicing, without stopping, Later, the first group that caught my attention was Queen, I saw them in he  Budapest concert and they impressed me ".

"It's the first group that I saw well structured, without exaggeration, very accurate, impressive arrangements and then the way to get their sound, at first without synthesizers, to the degree of putting that ad where it said that the disc did not had synthesizers. Or like Brian May, no ?, to see how he made a language with the guitar, when he made a guitar with his own specifications and sounds, in addition to Freddy Mercury, not to mention ".

THE FIRST DEMO: LIVE   "You can give more, they lent us a console with 24 channels and we recorded a demo from which we burned 70 copies, showing the sound of what Torno is live. I think it could be translated into the studio, but lack of resources kick in. Maybe the full sound comes out live, because that's where always is captured ".

"It's like Kiss, they believed in its live sound, let's remember that their first albums did not sell too much, it's not until the Alive sold out wildly. From here, nobody stopped them in sales and in sound, which was how they reflected their energy and true level, with a live album ".

"In addition, one of the advantages of playing live is that sincerity comes out of improvisation, in addition to adding a very cured chemistry.In rehearsals, we feel better if there are people with us, it works better. Everything is learned by playing in front of people, the truth is that playing muic is a pleasure of the gods, something we like is to move and have fun on stage, not like other groups that do not seem to feel what they are playing".

INSIDE THE SCENE AT THE BEGINNING "They have welcomed us well, apart from the covers we play, they welcome our original songs, we have played a lot, there have been many people who come to us and in a certain way, we have got followers, few, but faithful "

"There is a new breed of metal musicians. In our case, I do not think it is clear to say that we are a metal band, but rather we are a hard rock band, with tendencies to be a little more classic. What is a fact, is that Daniel listents everything, but we agree in the taste by five bands, among them, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin and Iron Maiden".

ROCK AS A LIFESTYLE "Today everything is very industrialized in the scene, now is more image. I believe that one of the bands that reflect some rock spirit is Metallica, besides that I admire three drummers: John Bonham, Keith Moon and Mitch Mitchell, that if you actually realize, they play with great intensity, they gave him everything. "

"Before it was "sex, drugs and rock and roll ", there is no commitment to the craft, there is no feelin".  

THE MUSIC OF TORNO   "The songs talk about life, about personal issues. The first album is Tornografía, it talks mostly about women. Sometimes some music comes out and then the execution takes shape expressing those feelings. Until that, there are varied songs, with real themes and with some metaphors, there is one that talks about excesses, another one about childhood, about falsehood and about a girl working on a table dance".

THE FUTURE   "Another objective is to get out of here, collect money and look for other options, travel to Spain, as Argentinian legends  Rata Blanca did, went to Spain to make their  way and from there, open up to established bands like Medina Azhara and win a place, Now, we want to do it, in a certain way, gain the appreciation of a scene where metal matters".

UPDATE AFTER THE INTERVIEW Torno since then worked hard to record their debut album, in addition to performing in several forums, working in conjunction with Black Chapel Productions in the production of events where they were opening  act for well renowed bands like Rata Blanca, Transmetal, Cuca, Garrobos and others. They never went to Spain.

In 2009, his first album, Tornografia, was finally released, which condensed his first 10 years of his career, while als javing their first nationl tour. They would enter the studio to record their second album, which would appear in the summer of 2013 as Retorno, showing an important sound evolution and also booking their second national tour. Two videos were released for the first two singles, Aqui En Tu Mundo and Cerveza.  

At the end of 2015, they have a show to celebrate 15 years as a band, that being the last show for guitarrist Hafid Hermandez, who leaves the band to start a  solo career, while the rest of the band moves on alongside local young guitar wizard Tony Carnales and perform some shows, but their is nothing clear for the future of the band until this point, since everyone has personal commitments that have taken priority.

[theplaguezine]

ARCH ENEMY

Interview with Michael Amott by Daniel Hinds

(conducted August 1999)

Michael Amott has certainly done his fare share for the metal community, serving time with Carcass through their best years, then founding both Arch Enemy and Spiritual Beggars afterward.  While the latter takes a more retro approach, Arch Enemy are much more aggressive and modern.  Mixing classic metal riffing and technical ability with modern death metal aesthetics, Arch Enemy have firmly established themselves as one of the leaders in the scene.

With their third opus, Burning Bridges, recently released in the States, it was a good time to tap Mr. Amott's brain for some insight into his metallic creations…

What separates Burning Bridges from the previous two Arch Enemy releases? In my opinion and the band's opinion, this is by far our best effort, production-wise and songwriting-wise.  It just feels like it really clicked this time.  It's got a lot more going for it, in the songwriting department especially.  It's far more catchy than our previous two.  Just overall an improvement and that seems to be the overall reaction that we're getting from the media in Japan and Europe, where it has been out for a while already.

Was there a change in the song-writing process for this one? All the music is written by myself and my brother Chris and that was the case in the past as well.  I don't know if there was much of a change, really.  We just sat down and tried to write the most catchy and brutal…the most interesting songs that we could come up with.  Just tried to focus on quality songwriting instead of…  On the Stigmata album, we got into a lot of the technical sort of stuff and maybe it was a little bit too much.  We're happy with the new approach that we've got, where we go more straight to the point.

Is that a difficult balance, between the technical side and the actual song itself? I think it's got to be a really strong song.  To me, it doesn't matter what kind of music it is, as long as there is a good song there, that's the most important thing.  The same goes for the kind of music that we're playing:  it's got to be strong material, lots of hooks and catchiness, but also to keep it interesting for ourselves and for the fans, we throw in a lot of more progressive elements as well.

What are some of the lyrical themes covered on this album? Overall, I would say the lyrics are a little more personal than in the past.  There are a few songs on there, like "Dead End Side," "Burning Bridges" and "Seed of Hate," that kind of is about life, relationships - lots of negative stuff.  I think it worked really well, writing these kinds of lyrics, with the new material.  It gave it a bit more depth.

How did you pick "Burning Bridges" as the album title? The meaning is more on a personal level.  Basically, everybody burns a lot of bridges in their lives, with people and relationships, but you just have to move on, go forward.

Do you consider Arch Enemy to be your main band? I've got two bands and I divide my time quite equally between them, which can be quite difficult with schedules and stuff.  Arch Enemy is definitely a real band, though - it's not a project or anything like that.  We're all committed to this band and we're going to be touring in Europe for six weeks in Sept/Oct, then we go to Japan and there is talk of bringing us over to the States with Nevermore possibly.  We're definitely going to do stuff to support this album, but I don't like to think, 'This is my main band,' or, 'That's may main band,' you know.  I'm really dedicated to both of my bands.

When you write songs, do you write them specifically for one band or the other? Yeah, I think it's always quite obvious when a riff or a melody or song idea should be used for one of the bands.  The riffing style is quite different from each other.  They're both heavy bands, but the style of riffing and arranging is quite different.

Have you written anything that falls completely outside the scope of both bands? Yeah, I've written stuff that's outside of that framework.  Sometimes I write stuff that is way to wimpy or whatever, like pretty little things on the acoustic guitar or whatever.  Things that will never be used probably.  But I usually find places to work in all my ideas, if they're any good.  That's the case with the song "Still the Wing" on the new album.  Me and Chris made this melody, the actual chorus of that song, that's a major chord progression instead of a minor chord progression, which is the normal thing for Arch Enemy and most metal bands.  We were like, maybe this sounds too positive, but we though, 'what the hell?'  It sounds good, why not use it?  I think we got away with it…  (laughs)

I read somewhere that you prefer emotional guitar-players to the technical ones.  Who would you consider some of the best emotional players? I'm a big fan of guitar-players from the 70s and 80s.  I haven't really heard anything in the 90s that has blown me away completely.  I don't see myself as a totally original guitar-player or anything, but I'm inspired by some of these guitar-players and I put that into a new context.  I like melodic players, basically, mostly hard rock or heavy metal players.  Frank Marino, Michael Schenker, Uli Jon Roth, Gary Moore, John Sykes - very sort of traditional players.  I'm not really into jazz or fusion or anything like that.  I mean, you have Yngwie Malmsteen and you can't ignore his influence on everyone playing heavy metal and hard rock over the last fifteen, twenty years.  He started a new style of guitar playing.  I'm very much into older stuff, like Ritchie Blackmore with Deep Purple, stuff like that.  But a lot of that stuff can be quite boring music, because these people's careers go on and on and they don't write interesting material anymore.  Obviously, they are still fantastic players, but often I'll find myself listening to their older albums.  Everyone has a peak in their musical career and it's going to happen to me as well.  Oh, and you can't ignore Tony Iommi, especially for the riffing style.  I don't think there would have been any heavy metal without the kind of riffs that he came up with in the early 70s.

How old were you when you first started playing guitar? I think I was probably about fourteen when I started playing.  I bought a guitar when I was fourteen, but I didn't start seriously playing until I was about sixteen.  I just had this guitar lying around at home and I learned to play a bit, but I couldn't find anybody else to play with, so I didn't really develop my playing.  From sixteen onward, I started finding people to play with and I started getting more and more into playing.

When did you decide to make it your career? That just kind of happened, I didn't make that decision.  In the late 80s, I had my own death metal band here in Sweden, called Carnage.  We were very much into brutal death metal, everything being as brutal as possible.  We got a little deal and put an album out, but that wasn't a career, it was just our love for music that made us play.  Then I got an offer to play with Carcass after they put out Symphonies of Sickness, so I joined them and toured for the Symphonies of Sickness album, in the States and Europe.  Then later on, I recorded two albums with them.  Carcass were a band on the way up and the sales of that band made it into a career for me, I guess.  'Oh, we're getting paid now,' where as before I was working day jobs and stuff.  I've had that ambition, but I couldn't really see a career in it.  In the late 80s, there were now really successful bands in that style.  I couldn't see the kind of music I was playing becoming successful.  Headbanger's Ball and MTV over here was all like Warrant and Poison, there was no heavy stuff being played.  But then a few years later, the whole thing exploded and obviously death metal came to a peak around '92.  Grunge came along and suddenly it was okay to play downtuned and dirty.  I've worked in record stores and stuff between gigs when I haven't had enough money, but the last two years I've been able to just focus on the music, which is really nice.

You did an Iron Maiden cover ("Aces High").  Was it difficult to choose one particular song? We did it for Japanese tribute album that only came out in Japan.  We got involved at a really late date on that album and the guy from the label really wanted us to do "Aces High" and we thought that would be cool, so we didn't really think too much about it.  We just went ahead and did it and it turned out pretty cool, actually.  It's never been available in Europe or the States…it might be some day, I don't know.

So is Japan your biggest market? Yeah, that is definitely true for us.

What do you attribute that to? I don't know…  We released an album called Black Earth in '96, the first Arch Enemy album, and it did okay over there.  It sold like 10,000 or 11,000.  We went over there and supported Cathedral for three shows and that was really cool and seemed to go down really well.  Then we released Stigmata over there and that sold 20,000 and we went over and toured for that one, so it's just been growing.  The new album came out in May over there and has already done 30,000.  With 30,000 albums sold, that makes Arch Enemy the biggest extreme metal band in the Far East, which is pretty cool, if you don't count like Sepultura.  But we sell a lot more than a band like Fear Factory or Machine Head in Japan.  But that's the only place in the whole world where that will ever happen!  (laughs)  I think the reason is just that Arch Enemy embraced the metal of the 80s that they still love so much over there.  We just incorporate traditional heavy metal guitar-work into this death metal sound.  Death metal has never really made it big over there, so it's still rather fresh to them.  We have a lot of guitar solos and me and my brother are both pretty well respected as players over there.  We have a lot of guitar deals and we're giving lessons in the guitar magazines - a very different situation than here at home. (laughs)

Do you get treated differently by the fans and the press in Japan? Yeah, both the fans and the press are really, really different over there, compared to Europe.  The fans are a lot more into it - they know all the lyrics, all the music.  Like when we play the melody lines and the solos, the crowd will be singing along to that.  They're just more dedicated.  They know everything about you.  If they get into something, they totally get into it.  At a show, there might be a thousand kids, and they are all totally into Arch Enemy or whatever.  But they demand a lot as well.  You just can't give them shit (laughs).  You can't go over there and play like shit and fuck up, because they notice all that.  The journalism is totally different from the Western journalism, the metal press anyway.  It's 100% focused on music.  Over here, the bigger magazines like Metal Hammer and Kerrang! are not focused on the music.  Like, there could be an interview in Metal Hammer or Kerrang! over here with Marilyn Manson and it could be five pages long, but not have one question about the music.  But in Japan, the big magazines know that the fans want to know about the music and they want to know EVERYTHING about the music.  They want to know about the recording, what influenced you…so in a way, it's more like the underground press in the States and Europe.  They are genuinely into music, instead of like, 'Let's sell a lot of copies by talking about somebody wants to rape a child on stage' or whatever.

How involved are you in the business side of things and have you done pretty well in terms of not getting ripped off? I've been ripped off like everybody else, but it's been okay.  We just signed a management deal with a big company over called Sanctuary, and they do like Helloween and Iron Maiden, stuff like that.  So hopefully things will get more organized now.

Are you interested in science-fiction, in terms of books and movies? Yeah, I love that kind of stuff, especially older science-fiction movies, like late 60s and early 70s.  Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green, Omega Man, 2001, Rollerball - I love that kind of vision of the future that they had then.  Actually, most of these films are like set in the year 2000 or whatever and…that's like next year. (laughs)  When I watch movies like that I feel a bit fooled really, because it's a future that is never going to happen.  We're never going to have those cool, huge-screen TVs covering the whole wall and all this cool furniture.  (laughs)  We're not going to wear these really cool suits and stuff.  It's sad, it really is… (laughs)

It seems like those movies were a lot more imaginative than current sci-fi films. Oh definitely.  The whole vibe then was more imaginative.  The concepts that they had then were really, really cool.  A lot more of the moves and books from that time that were science-fiction related were a lot more original.  It's not a like a bunch of aliens that are going to come and kill everyone on earth, like Independence Day - that really sucks.  For me, that's not a science-fiction movie, it's a Hollywood action movie that happens to be set in space.  I like movies like Rollerball, that have a really dark sort of atmosphere.  They were a lot more thoughtful and intelligent.  But I don't think a movie like that would do well commercially today, because it's too dark for people.

www.archenemy.net