#went in expecting subtext
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finished the Book of Bill
#my posts#my art#gravity falls#book of bill#billford#book of bill spoilers#went in expecting subtext#left with it being straight up text#toxic as all hell but yk. still
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LOOK AT THIS MAN. I just had my queer awakening for the 2nd time
#megamind#he’s bi#THUS WAS MY FAVORIYE PART IN THE WHOLE#MOVIE#HE SLAYS SO FUCKING HARD?!??????????#FAV#They weren’t kidding when they said that movie can ‘SUBVERSIVE MASTERPIECE’ and ‘QUEER NEURODIVERGENT SUBTEXT’#Movie review#ALSO THIS FILM IS SO MUCH FUNNIER AND MORE CLEVER THAN I REMEMBERED#LIKE ALMOST NO JOKES FELL FLAT#ACTUALLY HILARIOUS#AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO BELIEVABLE AND ENDEARING#excluding tighten he’s written to be so insufferable it’s such a perfect villain thing#SO GOOD#UGHHHHH#I would rewatch this nth amount of times#congratulations you have become a favorite movie of mine.#ALSO ITS SO ICONIC?? THERE WERE LIKE 10 PARTS WHERE I WENT ‘OOHHH ITS THE THING!!!’#also can I say I was pleasantly surprised by Minion#like you expect him to be a comic relief sidekick. NO. HES ACTUALLY A FLESHED OUT CHARACTER WITH CONFLICTS AND A RELATIONSHIP WITH MEGAMIND#whatever I love this movie💙
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guys omg i posted my first ever fic on ao3 yesterday and people are being so nice!!! I've already got three sweet and thoughtful comments, almost 100 kudos and nearly 500 hits!! i'm pleasantly surprised :']
#it's a lokius fic#did not expect That to take over my brain but after watching loki w/ my brother last week... well#i've been setting aside at least 1 day/wk entirely for creative stuff#and yesterday i intended to draw or paint but instead i wrote a 3k lokius fic! lmao#unexpected but hey i'm actually pretty proud of it and it made me feel good to write and im glad other ppl are enjoying it :] also side not#i love this :] smiley face it's so cute#personal#my art#(kinda. writing is art!!!)#it literally came out of nowhere tho like I’ve hated marvel since high school lol#and when my brother said I should watch Loki I was soooo skeptical but I did it bc I love my brother#and. well. I will not under any circumstances hand it to marvel but they kinda went off with the lokius subtext
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I finished reading all translated chapters of MariMite and now I'm sad :( we didn't even get to the third years' graduation.
But I ordered the complete anime Blu-ray 😭 so I'll have more soon
#I also downloaded the rest of the manga in Japanese so I might see how much I can read#and then once the anime is over I'll have to move to the light novels#marimite#maria sama ga miteru#anyway I went into it wanting to explore Yuri History and I feel like I've seen the Class S genre put down. so I wasn't expecting it to b#be as gay as it is#like Sei is fully a lesbian and she wants to be with girls after school ends. that's not subtext!!! that is text!!!
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expectation: well, it's a censored version, so it probably won't hint too loudly
reality: they're literally still sleeping in the same bed, barely veiled "oh god my dad just found our lube" joke, subtle confirmation of ��� kink??
#cdrama#me when wu bi calls su yu 哥:that's normal. su yu is older. sure why not#me when su yu calls wu bi 哥: GAY#????#stay with me tv#i literally went oh they're BOYFRIENDS#out loud#to the empty room#bc yea. they're boyfriends now. that's just undeniably the subtext#bolder than i would have expected
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Sources for Somerton's Plagiarism from Hbomberguy's Video (as much as I could get)
I went back through Harry's video, focused entirely on the sources James Somerton pulled from in the hopes of creating as much of a comprehensive list as I could--though my Google-Fu is not very strong. I did however find something I thought was forever lost and that made me very happy--specifically the magazine Midlands Zone containing the column by Steven Spinks that Harry poignantly used as an illustration of gay erasure... while Somerton uses it to sound like HE is waxing remorseful about the very subject.
This is not a complete list, I'm sure. For one thing, I was only able to attempt to pull sources that Harry himself mentioned in the video. Surely there's so very much more out there. I expect there to be a great deal more internet archeology to unearth just how much writing and culture Somerton has stolen like he's the British Museum of Natural History but for gay people.
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Harry's list of mentioned youtubers:
Alexander Avila - https://www.youtube.com/@alexander_avila Matt Baume - https://www.youtube.com/@MattBaume Khadija Mbowe - https://www.youtube.com/@KhadijaMbowe Lady Emily - https://www.youtube.com/@LadyEmilyPresents Shanspeare - https://www.youtube.com/@Shanspeare RickiHirsch - https://www.youtube.com/@RickiHirsch VerilyBitchie - https://www.youtube.com/@verilybitchie
Harry created a convenient playlist of videos by these and other people he wants to bring to everyone's attention.
Please give them your support.
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Midlands Zone Magazine - Column by Steven Spinks
After a great deal of searching, I found an archive of the "Midlands Zone" magazine, where you can read through past issues dating all the way back to February 2014. I have also found the issue from which Somerton took Spinks' poignant discussion of gay erasure: Overall archive Specific Issue - Pages 16-17
It will not allow you to download it, but you can read it exactly as it appeared in print form.
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My best effort to find the exact book or article Somerton lifted from to be able to get attention to the original writers
Tinker Bells and Evil Queens By Sean Griffin
The Celluloid Closet By Vito Russo Wikipedia article about the book Wikipedia article about the documentary My weak google-fu could not find where you can access the book or documentary. Check your local municipal or university library for book or documentary, or if you know a good source for one or both, please reblog with it added
Camp and the Gay Sensibility By Jack Babuscio
The Groundbreaking Queerness of Disney's Mulan By Jes Tom Personal site with links to social media accounts
Why Rebel Without a Cause was a milestone for gay rights By Peter Howell
Why "The Craft" is still the best Halloween coming out movie By Andrew Park
Opinion: From facehuggers to phallic tails, is 'Alien' one of the queerest films ever? By Dani Leever
Women and Queerness in Horror: Jennifer's Body By Zoe Fortier
[Pride 2019] We Have Such Sights to Show You: Hellraiser and the Spectrum of Queerness By Alejandra Gonzalez
Revealing the Hellbound Heart of Clive Barker's 'Hellraiser' By Colin Arason
Queering James Cameron's Aliens (1986) By Bart Bishop
Demeter and Persephone in space: transformation, femininity, and myth in the 'Alien' films By David Greven
Fears of a millennial masculinity: Scream's queer killers By David Greven (Scholarly site, unable to access original work, offers a way to request a full copy of the text in PDF)
Queer Subtext in Stephen King's It - Part 1: 'Reddie' Character Analysis By Rachel Brands Rachel is the very unfortunate lady who found out she was being stolen from because she supported Somerton through Patreon and saw one of his videos early with her writing--lacking any form of citation or credit
How 'It: Chapter Two' Leaves Richie Tozier Behind By Joelle Monique
When Horror Becomes Strength: Queer Armor in Stephen King's 'IT' By Alex London
Why Queer People Love Witchcraft By Amanda Kohr
'The Favourite' Queers The Past And The Present By Giorgi Plys-Garzotto
(Wuko) Crush (Mako x Wu) By MoonFlower on YouTube
5 Terrible Movies With Awesome Hidden Meanings By J.F. Sargent
The Radicalization of Sexuality: The Queer Casae of Jeffrey Dahmer By Ian Barnard
Netflix's 'Dahmer' backlash highlights ethical issues in the platform's obsession with true crime By Shivani Dubey
The Possible Disturbing Dissonance Between Hajime Isayama's Beliefs and Attack on Titan's Themes Original Article by "Seldom Musings" (Author has made all posts not related to Attack On Titan private and has retired from the blog)
Everyone Loves Attack on Titan. So Why Does Everyone Hate Attack on Titan? By Gita Jackson
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The following people are otherwise named in the video. There are no direct citations of articles or books by them in said video. I am unable to guarantee that I have identified the correct individual.
Darren Elliott-Smith Michaela Barton David Church Claire Sisco King Amanda Howell Jessica Roy
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Telos announced and cancelled a film likely based on this book: The Final Girl Support Group - By Grady Hendrix
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I refrained from including certain sources.
First off only focusing on Somerton's work.
Secondly not including anything that might be visible enough to not require amplifying their voice (I cannot speak for all of those I have found links to, but journalism is frequently a thankless job).
Thirdly any source that is of a nature that is antithetical to the very existence of the queer community, such as the right-leaning source that didn't make it into Somerton's video, but Harry was able to identify as a source he had considered using.
If you feel I have missed a mentioned source--or you know of a source from material that was not covered in Harry's video--please do not hesitate to reblog with added details.
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Please share this information far and wide, and please add to it if you find more material that can be positively identified and linked to the creator/writer.
#hbomberguy#james somerton#Plagiarism#Queer#LGBT#LGBTQIA#youtube#Solidarity#gay erasure#Make them un-erased
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Straight to you | LN4
��summary ━━━━━━━ Y/N, captivated by photos of her friend Lando Norris at a gala, sends a bold, flirtatious text that shifts their dynamic. Days later, Lando surprises her at her apartment, confessing his feelings and revealing he can't hold back anymore.
✨pairing ━━━━━━━ Lando Norris x she!reader
✨word count ━━━━━━━ 1.2k
Y/N stretched out on her couch, a glass of wine in hand as her phone screen illuminated her face. She had spent the past hour scrolling through social media, and her feed was flooded with pictures and videos from the FIA Gala in Rwanda. And as much as she hated to admit it, she couldn’t stop scrolling through them.
Lando Norris was everywhere: standing proudly with his team, laughing with his peers, and posing for the cameras. But it was one photo in particular that had her captivated—Lando in a perfectly tailored tuxedo, grinning like he knew he owned the room.
She sighed, smiling softly to herself. Over the past year, Lando had gone from a casual acquaintance to someone she truly valued. They’d met through mutual friends at a gathering in London, and their banter had been immediate and effortless. They weren’t best friends by any means, but their connection had grown naturally over time.
He had even invited her to a few races over the past year. At first, she’d assumed it was just because she was someone fun to have around. But there were moments—small, fleeting moments—when she caught him looking at her in a way that made her wonder if there was more to it.
The truth was, she found him attractive. Too attractive, in fact. But it was a line she’d refused to cross, afraid of ruining the friendship they’d built.
As the picture of Lando lingered on her screen, she opened their chat.
Y/N: Congrats again, Lan! You were incredible this season. So proud of you.
She reread the text twice, debating if it sounded too sentimental. After all, they didn’t exchange heartfelt messages often. Usually, it was teasing, inside jokes, and the occasional check-in. But tonight, pride for him outweighed her hesitation, and she hit send.
The reply came quicker than she expected.
Lando: Thanks, Y/N. Means a lot coming from you.
She smiled, staring at the screen. She could stop there, but the wine in her system and the tuxedo picture still sitting in her camera roll gave her an unexpected burst of boldness.
Y/N: Also… you looked insanely hot at the gala. Just saying.
The moment she hit send, her eyes widened in horror. “Oh no,” she muttered, setting her wine down and pressing her hands to her cheeks, which were now burning.
Her phone buzzed almost immediately.
Lando: Hot, huh? Didn’t know you thought of me like that.
She groaned, biting her lip as she typed back.
Y/N: Ignore that. I didn’t mean to send it.
Lando: Yeah, right. Totally accidental.
Y/N: Lando.
Lando: What? I’m just saying, I don’t mind. In fact, I think we should talk more about how hot you think I am.
She couldn’t help but laugh, even as she shook her head.
Y/N: You’re impossible.
Lando: And you’re blushing. Don’t lie.
She threw her phone onto the couch, but when it buzzed again, curiosity got the better of her.
Lando: For the record, I thought you looked pretty hot at Silverstone this year. Just saying.
Her heart skipped a beat. Was he flirting? No, he had to be joking—right?
Y/N: Are you flirting with me, Norris?
Lando: Maybe. Is it working?
Her stomach flipped, but she decided to match his energy.
Y/N: I don’t know. Maybe try harder next time.
Their playful exchange continued for another half hour, and while neither of them outright said what they were really thinking, the subtext was undeniable. By the time she went to bed, she couldn’t stop smiling, even if part of her wondered if they’d crossed a line.
Two days later, Y/N was in her tiny London apartment, halfway through cooking dinner, when a knock on the door startled her. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Wiping her hands on a towel, she walked to the door, pulling it open cautiously.
“Lando?” she asked, her voice filled with disbelief.
He stood there, suitcase in one hand and a small smile on his face. He was dressed casually in a hoodie and joggers, his hair slightly messy from what she assumed was a long flight.
“Surprise,” he said, his tone light.
Her mouth opened, then closed as she tried to process what she was seeing. “What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to go to Monaco after the gala?”
“I was,” he admitted, stepping inside as she moved to let him in. “But I decided London sounded better.”
She closed the door behind him, her heart racing. “Why?”
His suitcase hit the floor with a thud as he turned to face her. The playful glint in his eyes softened, replaced by something more serious.
“Because you’re here,” he said simply.
Her heart stopped for a moment, and she struggled to find the right words. “Lando, I—”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he interrupted, taking a step closer. “That night, the things we said… it made me realize I’ve been holding back. And I don’t want to do that anymore.”
She blinked, her throat dry. “Holding back from what?”
“From this,” he said, his voice quieter now. “From telling you how I feel. I thought I could keep it casual, keep pretending we were just friends. But I can’t. Not when I know you feel something too.”
Her breath caught. “What makes you so sure I feel something?”
He grinned, leaning in just slightly. “You called me hot. Twice.”
She let out a breathless laugh, shaking her head. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Maybe,” he admitted. “But I’m also here. For you. So tell me, Y/N… do you feel it too?”
She hesitated for only a moment before nodding. “Yes. I’ve felt it for a long time. I just didn’t want to lose you.”
His smile softened, and he reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face. “You’re not going to lose me. If anything, you’re stuck with me now.”
Before she could overthink it, he closed the distance between them, cupping her face and pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was everything she’d dreamed of—soft yet urgent, full of all the feelings they’d both been holding back.
Her hands found their way to his chest, gripping the fabric of his hoodie. The kiss deepened as they moved toward the couch, their hands exploring, their whispered confessions tumbling out between kisses.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” he murmured, his lips trailing down her neck.
“Probably not as long as I have,” she shot back, pulling him closer.
“Wait,” she murmured again against his mouth, pulling back slightly.
“What?” he asked, his voice husky.
“You came all the way to London for me?”
He smiled, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “I’d fly to the ends of the earth for you.”
Her heart swelled at his words, and she pulled him back into another kiss, this one even more passionate than the last.
That night, months of tension and longing melted away as they finally let themselves feel everything they’d been suppressing.
Hours later, they lay tangled together on the couch, her head resting on his chest as his fingers lazily traced circles on her arm. She looked up at him and smiled, their embrace a quiet testament to their closeness.
“I’m glad you came,” she said softly.
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
#lando norris#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris blurb#ln4#lando norris imagine#lando norris prompt#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#formula one#formula 1#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1
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Imagine max x driver!reader with the whole fia and swearing situation they’d be such a power couple. Manifesting more max fics!! I love all your work esp little bitch and honorary wag💓
okay this is teeeny tiny piece but i just had tooo. max is too iconic
You're sitting beside Max, your boyfriend and teammate, in the press conference room after the qualifying session in Singapore. The air feels thick with humidity and tension, though most of the tension is radiating off Max.
His latest penalty from the FIA—a fine and community service for swearing —has him fuming. He made it very clear on the way in that he wasn’t going to play nice. Today was going to be a day of vague, shady responses, and you were more than happy to back him up.
The moderator starts with the usual question for Max about how he felt securing P2.
“It was fine,” Max replies, voice completely flat. No elaboration, no typical analysis. Just that.
The reporter stares at him, clearly expecting more, but Max leans back in his chair, eyes narrowing slightly as if daring anyone to push him further.
To your right, Lando is barely holding it together, his mouth twitching as he watches the whole scene unfold. You catch his eye and he shoots you a look like, Is this real?
The next question is directed at you. Something predictable about how you’re feeling being P3, your thoughts on tomorrow’s race strategy.
“Well,” you start, raising an eyebrow, “I guess the plan is… to go fast and not crash.”
There’s an awkward silence in the room, the journalist blinking at you as if he didn’t hear you correctly. Lando makes a noise that’s somewhere between a laugh and a cough, struggling to contain himself as you sit there, completely straight-faced.
“And the tire strategy?” the moderator presses, trying to steer things back into something vaguely professional.
“Use them until they wear out, I suppose.” You lean back in your chair, mimicking Max’s posture, crossing your legs casually as if you’ve just given a perfectly reasonable answer. Max looks at you with a cocky and proud smile, you discretely wink at him.
"Max, can you elaborate on your car's performance today?" another reporter tries.
Max tilts his head, considering for a moment. "It went forward when I pushed the pedal, and stopped when I hit the brakes. Very efficient, really."
You can't help but smirk at his response, and you notice Lando has given up on maintaining composure, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
The moderator, looking increasingly uncomfortable, turns to you again. "YN, how do you feel about potentially challenging your teammate for position tomorrow?"
You lean forward, adopting a serious expression. "Well, I've been told it's important to keep things clean on track. Wouldn't want to use any… inappropriate maneuvers."
"Absolutely. We're all about clean racing now. Very family-friendly." Max adds
The reporters exchange glances, clearly unsure how to handle this united front of sarcasm and vague responses. Lando, meanwhile, has resorted to covering his face with his hands, his shoulders visibly shaking with suppressed laughter.
As the press conference draws to a close, you and Max stand up together, your body language mirroring each other's. Before leaving, you turn to the room with a final statement:
"Just want to thank everyone for their thoughtful questions today. This has been a very enlightening experience. Almost as enlightening as some recent FIA decisions."
As you exit the room, hand in hand with Max, you can hear the burst of chatter from the journalists behind you, no doubt trying to decipher the subtext of your responses. Lando catches up with you in the hallway, finally letting out the laugh he's been holding in.
"You two are unbelievable," he wheezes, wiping tears from his eyes. "I thought I was going to lose it in there!"
Max grins, his earlier tension now replaced with a sense of satisfaction. "Well, we aim to entertain," he says, giving your hand a squeeze.
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfiction#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen story#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fic#mv1 x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#max verstappen#f1 grid x reader#harrysfolklore#max verstappen smut#mv1 fic#max verstappen x you#formula 1 imagine#max verstappen smau#f1 smau
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Just got into the apothecary diaries (finished watching it in like 2 days lol) and I have to say I am surprised that apparently there’s some discourse about the nature of JinMao’s relationship?
Like… both of them are obviously on the ace spectrum. Because Jinshi is so down bad people seem to forget that he’s very much on there too. It’s not just that he takes medicine to “suppress his manhood.” He is surrounded by the most gorgeous women who are constantly throwing themselves at him or are just generally being as sexy as possible because it’s literally their job, and the man has no reaction. The only reason he’s so affected when Maomao dresses up is because he’s not used to seeing her like that, if he’d met her when she was all dolled up he probably wouldn’t have batted an eye.
Furthermore, what he wants from Maomao doesn’t seem to me to be inherently sexual, he just oozes sex appeal like a slug does mucus and that colors all his actions to everyone else, including Maomao. He uses this strategically and does it on purpose sometimes but he isn’t totally aware of it when he isn’t purposefully trying, hence the honey scene (this is my interpretation). What he wants from Maomao is emotional connection that goes both ways. He gave her the hairpin so that he could be the one to let her go home and expected nothing in return, it was never a proposition. He was jealous that she went to another man for the same thing and didn’t seem to think it was sexual until Maomao herself insinuated that it was, which shocked him greatly. This scene is so hilarious that it’s easy to miss that subtext, but his jealousy was always over perceived emotional connection and reliance on another man and he actually calmed down once he understood that the whole affair was transactional and Maomao didn’t give any sexual favors herself. When he meets with the guy again later he gets mad when he says that Maomao let her guard down around him (which she didn’t). Jinshi may be a bit touchy but that’s part of his personality and likely a manifestation of his desire for emotional connection more than physical intimacy.
Anyway my point is that JinMao is a great ship between two demisexual/acespec individuals and I am totally here for it! Maomao may say that she left love behind in the womb but I don’t think that means she’s aromantic, just that her childhood trauma has made her severely emotionally closed off and her journey includes healing and learning to love again.
#the apothecary diaries#jinmao#jinshi#maomao#character analysis#relationship analysis#aroace spectrum#acespec#asexual spectrum#acepec JinMao
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The Early Morning
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: Day 5: I've merged a lovely request from a lovely friend with the @taylorswiftmicrofic prompt for the 5th of January, which is 'blind'.
It is just past the middle of the night. You have officially entered the early morning. You find yourself awake. You went to sleep right after your last mission. This is your consequence.
You don’t try to fight it, instead you roll out of your bed and make your way to get something to drink. Ever since Vision and Wanda have become part of the Avengers, things have been a little different. You’ve all done your best to welcome them to the team, but they have kept to themselves far more than you expected. The changing dynamics have been something to adjust to.
You let yourself enjoy the easy peace of the quiet nighttime.
You walk to the kitchen and freeze for a second.
Wanda is sitting at the dining table. Her hair is wet. Her face is ashen and her hands are cupping a hot mug of tea. Her eyes flit wearily to you.
You hesitate, not sure how to approach. You’ve never spoken to her alone.
‘You okay?’
Wanda turns back to her tea, she doesn’t answer.
You watch the ends of her hair drip onto the tiled floor.
You refill the kettle and turn it on. You take a seat next to her.
Wanda’s wearing a grey sweater. It’s too big for her. The sleeves have ridden up and her forearms are exposed. Goosebumps coat her skin.
You try again. Something more direct.
‘Are you cold?’
Wanda’s eyes meet yours and you know that she is.
The kettle boils and you stand up, your hand touches her shoulder as you pass by. You feel her shudder.
You bring her a new mug. The steam curls promisingly above the liquid. Wanda leans over it. Her hands wrap around the ceramic, even though it must be burning hot. She shudders again and closes her eyes.
You sit next to her with your own mug and think.
Dim light seeps through the large windows and illuminates Wanda’s face. Her eyes have dark shadows under them. You can tell she must not be sleeping. You wonder where Vision is.
As if she can read your thoughts (and you can’t help wondering if she can). Wanda answers your silent question.
‘Viz doesn’t sleep. Not like people do. It’s more... robotic.’
You picture immediately a long cable connecting the android to a computer. You push down the ridiculous image that's probably not so far from the truth. You nod at Wanda silently encouraging her to continue.
‘At night, he goes offline. Really offline. Missiles could go off and he’d be blind to it.’
You try to understand the subtext of Wanda’s words. There’s a strange suspense to your next question, it is the possibility that she might say yes.
‘Do you worry about that? About missiles going off?’
Wanda smiles at you. Her head tilts. It could be playful if her eyes weren’t full of pain.
‘It’s all I worry about.’
You give a half smile back, you know it doesn’t reach your eyes.
‘I’ve done all my sleeping for tonight.’ You tell her carefully. ‘If you want someone there… someone awake. I was going to watch a movie anyway and I can put on headphones.’
Wanda takes her first sip of the slowly cooling tea.
‘Thank you.’ She says a moment later, her small smile now weighted with relief.
Wanda follows you back to your room that night. She waits for you to prop some pillows against the headboard and lie back on one side of the bed. She falls readily onto the other side of the mattress.
She’s not self conscious, not like you’d half expected.
She sinks into the bed like it’s been calling her for days. You listen to her breathing even out before you put on your headphones.
.
It becomes a routine of sorts. Your new sleep schedule is not nearly as difficult as you expect. You switch your mindless after-dinner screen time with an early nap.
Wanda knocks on your door in the early hours of each morning. You plug in some headphones and watch whatever film you can think of.
Wanda lies beside you. Now that the worst of the sleep deprivation has abated, she is slower to fall asleep. Sometimes you even talk for a few minutes, about the day before or the film you’re planning to watch.
It’s easy to talk to Wanda, much easier than you ever expected. You try to understand the distance she’s always kept from everyone on the team except Vision.
Each morning, you wait patiently for the inevitable long pause in coversation, for the moment that her eyelids slowly start to close.
There is something comforting about her steady breathing beside you.
It is too easy to be comfortable. Despite your best efforts, it only takes a week for you to become lulled to near sleep yourself.
You’re not quite asleep, you’re still following along with the dialogue from the movie. But your mind has drifted and your eyes have closed.
They fly open at the first feeling of movement beside you. You startle suddenly as you understand your inadvertent mistake. You move backwards unthinkingly and hit your head sharply on the edge of the headboard.
You hiss out and apologise automatically.
Wanda is still lying in the bed next to you, she has turned to face you. Her head is resting on the pillow. She looks exhausted with a different kind of fatigue. She sits up very carefully, as if her presence is inherently scary.
You don’t know how to explain. That your automatic panic came only from the disorientation of nearly falling asleep by mistake.
Wanda speaks before you can. Her mouth twists into the same bitter smile that you’ve seen once before. She is watching you rub the sore spot at the back of your head.
‘It’s your amygdala.’ She explains.
‘What?’ You ask unsurely.
‘That’s why you’re afraid.’
‘My amygdala.’ You repeat dumbly.
‘Yes. Vision explained it once. It’s what makes you afraid of me, even if you don’t want to be.’ Her words are rehearsed. They sound calm but you can hear something else simmering behind them. ‘Your amygdala knows the danger that comes with being near me.’
‘And what about Vision’s amygdala?’ You ask sharply, suddenly hating the implications of her words. ‘How does he manage?’
‘It’s synthetic.’
‘That’s lucky.’ You comment dryly.
She stares at you seriously. An overwhelming loneliness fills her eyes.
‘Yes.’ Wanda says quietly, looking down at the bedspread. ‘It is.’
You watch Wanda leave.
.
You spend the day caught between a wish to apologise and a lingering uncertainty that something else is wrong. Something more complicated than you’d realised.
You seek out Natasha in the end, trusting her advice and needing someone to speak to. You find her as she’s leaving a boardroom after a meeting. She invites you back into the room and you sit together. You start to tell her about Wanda. You try to state the facts. The sleep deprivation. Vision’s words. Her isolation from the team.
You hope you don’t sound biased, you hope your concern doesn’t seem excessive.
Natasha’s lips twist and you can tell she doesn’t like the details either. She tells you other things, small moments she’s noticed. Their separate meals from the rest of you. His frequent appearances in Wanda’s room without warning. How it's the one thing he can’t seem to learn not to do. A sudden lengthy monologue about the benefits of Stark’s technology, unaware of Wanda stiffened posture beside him.
You exchange a long look with Natasha, it holds something that you recognise in your bones.
You decide to worry together.
.
That night you find Wanda before the time she usually comes to your room. It is just past midnight and she is sitting at the dining table. Her dark hair is wet again.
She startles violently when you call her name. Her shoulders relax immediately as she turns to find you.
Wanda stands suddenly and moves to the kitchen counter. You watch her refill the kettle and turn it on. She takes out two mugs. She smiles at you again. There’s relief in it.
‘Good evening.’ She says at last. Her fingers tap out a steady rhythm against the marble countertop.
She notices you watching and her hand stills suddenly. She stares down at her fingers. Her mouth closes and her jaw ticks. She is lost in thought. You know she is remembering your last encounter.
This time, you speak first. You start slowly.
‘I’m not afraid of you.’ You tell her carefully.
Wanda doesn’t look up. You watch the familiar bitter smile that makes your gut twist unhappily.
‘Then you are not paying attention.’ She says simply.
‘I am.’ You counter stubbornly.
‘We can’t change who we are.’ Her voice is monotone and you can tell that she is quoting someone else. ‘We can’t relinquish the dangers that comes with our power.’
‘But we can always have family.’ Your argument is quiet. ‘We can still have love and care. We can forgive ourselves for who we are.’
Wanda goes very still. After a moment, she reaches for the kettle that has now boiled. You watch her pour the water into the two waiting mugs.
‘Vision -’ She begins at last, looking at you unsurely. ‘It’s hard’
‘What is?’
She hands you a mug of tea and you watch her grip her own drink like it’s a life support system.
‘He would never do the things I’ve done.’ Her voice cracks with barely repressed guilt. ‘It can be hard to not feel alone.’
You drink your tea and watch her for a moment. Wanda's breathing is shallow. Her pupils have dilated in the dim light. Her dark eyes are watching you, waiting.
‘I would’ve.’ You confess softly. ‘If I’d been you. I think I would have done the same things.’
A thousand emotions flit through Wanda's expression. It settles somewhere between fear and longing.
You move forward and place your mug on the countertop, carefully you take Wanda’s from her too. When her hands are free, you hold them gently in your own.
She grips them tightly. You can feel her shaking.
‘Do you want to get out of here?’ You offer softly. ‘Just for a few days. We can borrow a car. We can go right now.’
Wanda is so close to you now. You feel the hitch in her breath as you much as you hear it.
Wanda’s expression fills with the same look of longing and she glances outside at the full moon that is brightening the darkest part of the night.
‘Viz’ll wake up soon.’ She hesitates. ‘He hates it when I leave this place.’
You shake your head. You give her a small smile. ‘Natasha said they’re using his offline time tonight to update some of his old programming. Getting rid of some of the biases that Tony created back when it was only Jarvis.’
You pause. Wanda is looking at you like the world is something new again.
‘We have time.’ You tell her and it feels like a promise.
Her small smile is full of sudden happiness.
Wanda leans forward and her head rests against your shoulder. There is a weightlessness to her tired relief.
You are grateful that your amygdala is very real. That you can feel this entirely.
‘Okay’ She says finally against your shirt. ‘Do you mind if I sleep while you drive?’
You laugh and wrap your arms around her. The wet ends of her hair drip onto your arms.
You leave the Compound before the sun has risen.
.
.
Requests are still very welcome for future January fics. More info in the pinned post if you're interested in requesting. <3
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The dishes from another dinner had already been washed and put away. Zelda and Antoine usually spent this time on the couch, reading and having tea while Antoine played guitar for them both. Instead they were looking out their living room window, watching Giorgio stand motionless in the cornfield. He had seemingly been there for over an hour, but they had only been watching him for a fraction of that time, growing more concerned with every passing minute.
Antoine shuffled his feet, considering what Zelda had just said. “I don’t know. I think it should be you. I mean, I can. If you truly need me to. I just - you stood there with him. Watched it rise from the ground. I think it will help soften the blow.”
“Besides…” He let out a sharp breath, imbued with what Zelda could only imagine was a fraction of what he could sense Gio was feeling. “It’s easier hearing you failed from a woman.”
Reluctantly, Zelda could sense that he was right. She brought her hands together and spoke in their direction. “Maybe we could tell Jo?”
He looked sideways at her, arching his eyebrows in a knowing way as though to say, please. We know better than that. Zelda raised her eyes again, taking in a deep breath and holding it for a moment as she looked at the man standing out the window. Antoine brought his hand to her shoulder and a long buried sadness passed between them. “You okay? I know it's hard for you too.”
She looked back at him and nodded her head yes in response. Then she lifted her right hand to rest atop of his, squeezing his fingers as though to pull the strength from them before she turned to walk away.
The air outside the farmhouse was colder than Zelda had expected it to be. It had been hot all day, only for the temperature to plummet the moment the horizon had begun to turn pink. She knew that meant the height of summer was now behind them, and that the corn should have been harvested weeks before. Only there had been no fruit to pick. Not this year, and judging by the dead stalks around them, not any year after.
Gio seemed to sense her presence even though he never turned from the sun setting in his eyes. He nodded downward toward the withering leaves, as though giving her permission to walk past the fence. She crossed the rows toward him, trying to keep her own voice from wavering as she spoke. “You must be cold…”
A small, sad smile told her that he was listening, even if he still hadn’t looked in her direction. Just as her feet came to a stop behind his, the stalks swayed in the rare afternoon breeze, filling the quiet as though they were answering for him.
They stayed standing there, listening to the corn rustle before the breeze moved past the mountains and it went quiet again. “You came to tell me it’s time to give up, didn’t you?”
The words brought tears to her eyes. Hot, stinging tears that she wanted to cry for him and what she knew he had lost; or maybe just for herself and her own dreams of fecundity that had died in this field too. “I - I came to tell you that I know of work. I - I just..”
He closed his eyes and brought his hand to the bridge of his nose, understanding the subtext of what she meant. It’s time. It’s time to let it die. Move on. Give it up. “It’s with the town. They’re opening a branch of the Works Project Administration. It will pay. I’m sure of it.”
Maybe it was because her own heart felt like it was tearing in two that she reached out toward him, taking his hand in her own and spinning him toward her. Only at her touch did he finally look up into her eyes. “Put my name in. I - I know. It’s why I’m still here. I know - “
His words began to get tangled, choked up by the rising mass in his throat that he was trying to hold down. She could hear it just as well as he could. “Will you go inside soon? The - the sun. You’ll catch a cold.”
He looked sideways so that his face was highlighted by the rays of the sun as it moved toward the Earth. It was creeping slowly, ever so imperceptibly increasing its speed as it felt the pull of the horizon. It stopped for no one. Not for her or for him, and certainly not for the last gasp of a once shimmering dream. She followed his eyes, looking at a corn stalk that would soon be cut back to the bare ground. “Soon. I just wanted the day. One last day. Because after - when I leave - it’s - it's done.”
They both stayed silent, looking at the dead stalks with their hands linked. Brown and withered beyond redemption, she could remember when they were green with specks of blue glinting like precious gold in the full light of the day. Through gathering tears she could see them as they had been - fertile and full of promise. Rising from the ground like a beacon of not only survival, but of hope of all that was to come.
She threw her arms around him, speaking with a fervor that felt too intimate to allow across the small void of open air that still remained between them. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it grow forever. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m - “
“No, Zelda.” He spoke more forcefully than she would have expected of him, silencing another apology just waiting on her tongue. “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”
At that moment she knew why he couldn’t walk away. She could feel it in the grip of his arms around her - a fervor of belief so strong that they had once shared. And even though they each knew that something else was waiting for them, walking toward it meant letting something go too. So she stayed there wrapped in his arms just a minute longer than she should have, knowing that once they let go, a part of them both would be left to die in the field alongside the withered corn.
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#1936#sims 4 historical#ts4 historical#ts4 decades challenge#sims 4 decades challenge#sims 4 legacy#ts4 legacy#the darlingtons#1930s#sims 4 story#ts4 story#Zelda Darlington#Antoine Duplanchier#Giorgio Mistretta
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Fangs of Fortune (Bai Ze Ling): perfect on pure aesthetics alone, but also it will tear your heart out while being very gay.

I was lured in to this show by Tumblr gifsets and friends on Bluesky talking about how queer and poly this show is. I'm old and I've been in fandom more than half my life. I know how to read queer subtext. I'm also pretty well versed in cdramas, so again, I know how to read subtext. So I went into this ready to, well, read the subtext.

But no this show is just puts the queer it right there in the text. The vague information we have about Chinese censorship repeatedly left me asking, 'wait how are they getting away with this?' Like some of these jokes and implications are just so blatant it seems incredible this show ever made it to being broadcast. It just feels very much like queer media made for queer people even if t's more subtle than something western like Queer as Folk.

Even without the heavy coloring of gay this show is incredible and so much more than I expected from the title and the promo. The premise is essentially the death of the goddess, who governed relations between humans and demons, leads to an influx of demons in the human world. This brings together the goddess's disciple, Wen Xiao--seeking to restore the goddess's power. WX's childhood sweetheart, Zhuo Yichen--seeking to restore the demon-hunting bureau after the powerful demon Zhu Yan killed his father and brother. It opens on Zhu Yan, in human disguise as as Zhao Yuanzhou, volunteering to help the imperial court restore the demon-hunting bureau to quell the chaos. They are joined by Pei Sijing, a retired female general from the rival demon hunting sect, and a very young doctor (and comic relief) named Bai Jiu. It starts off as a sort of monster-of-the-week with a grim Scooby gang doing detective work and fighting monsters. Each major demon has a mini arc that relates to the larger case (restoring the power of the goddess to balance the realms), and they are repeatedly blocked by either the demons or the rival demon hunting sect. Each mini arc also acts as a mirror or parallel story to slowly revealed backstory of all the main characters as well. In true cdrama fashion it's a mix of adventure, intense emotional drama, romance, and comedy. And queer and poly jokes and romance. It also has a kind of manga vibe in the way the comedy is woven into the more serious story, and in the fantastical depiction of the characters and how the story unfolds.


It is also just insanely beautiful. Every single shot is lovely. The costumes, make up, and hair are incredible. The casting director made all the major demons inhumanly beautiful. The sets are spectacular. The effects are nicely done. Every bit of has the vague surreality of a fairytale. The perfection of each shot ads to the manga vibe, as if we're seeing each critical storytelling panel come alive. There's recurring water-based special effects that are just gorgeous. Based on aesthetics alone this show would be worth watching to me. That it is combined with a complex, very emotional story is a spectacular gift to the watcher. A lot of the negative reviews of this complain about the staginess or that it's overly contrived in how each scene is shot. But I think it's gorgeous, works perfectly with the storytelling, and if we criticize art on whether it achieves the goal it intended then this show is doing exactly and perfectly what it means to do and doing it beautifully.

Additionally the acting is also very good, but Neo Hou is the stand out for sure. I enjoyed him in Back from the Brink, especially the later part of the story, but in Fangs of Fortune he's transformed, utterly embodying the role, the way Dylan Wang is Dongfang Qingcang in Love Between Fairy and Devil. Neo Hou has the right look, a slightly uncanny beauty perfect for a gorgeous immortal not of this world. The show does incredible things with his styling between the various looks and personas the role requires. But in acting he somehow manages to utterly transform his face and demeanor to manifest each aspect of the character as story demands changes from him.

There is a lot of crying in this drama. Like early on I joked that there was going to be a character crying a single perfect tear in every ep. Lol nope. Multiple single perfect tears per ep and many outright full on sobbing scenes. This show is just waiting to rip your heart out and you see it right from the beginning. But it was such sweet pain all the way through. Just a truly engaging and utterly wrenching set of intertwined stories.

My only criticism is that the pacing falls apart in the last 3 episodes. But overall the story is solid through the end, though like so many cdramas, it's saved by the epilogue.

You should absolutely watch it if you want the chaotic bi polycule (it's her, her girlfriend, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's boyfriend who is also her boyfriend, their two idiot sons, and her boyfriend's ex-who is also eventually sort of his boyfriend again), or if you want your heart torn out and stomped on. Or even if you just like really gorgeous cinematic things. Also if you watch, please don't skip the ending credits, as they change as the arcs change, and the radiant joy Tian Jiarui has as he dances is an excellent antidote to the emotions of each episode.

#Fangs of Fortune#大梦归离#Bai Ze Ling#cdrama#Hou Minghao#Neo Hou#侯明昊#Zhao Yuanzhou#Chen Duling#Wen Xiao#Tian Jia Rui#Zhuo Yichen#Cheng Xiao#Pei Sijing#Lin Ziye#Bai Jiu#Yan An#Li Lun#ab-HMH-mine#ab-reviews#it's really the xianxia polycule of dreams#which I didn't know to hope for until this show spoonfed it to me
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sometimes i have byler doubt (scarred by voltron) until i realize the duffers went to one of the best film schools in the united states and know damn well how to make everything obvious but not obvious.
everything in that show is hidden under a thick layer of subtext, just like how will's sexuality was built up from season one to season 4 using basically ONLY subtext and trusting people could see what was happening. that's why i think some people get so worked up about people pointing out stuff about mike's storyline. because they're not paying attention to the subtext. it's not supposed to be in your face. the whole point of subtext is to read into it
the duffers have previously said they dont like anything to be "too on the nose," which is exactly, almost by definition, what subtext helps get rid of. it's supposed to be up in the air because its not in your face. you're supposed to ask questions. that's what makes the reveal of it so fun, and why the show garners so many viewers despite its wicked gap between seasons.
they also love trope subversions:
— the first victim trope: the first person to die in a horror film is usually the "hot one" or the "sexually promiscuous" one to "punish them" in a sense, stranger things subverts this trope by instead having nancy live, and barb die. (not saying barb's ugly shes a beautiful woman)
— the final girl trope: the final girl in horror is usually the one who somehow makes it out alive despite not really being a fighter, being innocent and essentially using whatever they have to fend off the "bad guy". stranger things subverts this trope by explicitly making nancy confrontational, a fighter and just a badass overall.
— the madman in the asylum: subverted the trope of the "bad guy" in the asylum being the villain by instead making victor creel wholly and completely innocent. he's there not because of his own doing, but of his son's.
anyways, i think its kind of expected to doubt it, actually. you're supposed to expect one thing and then be absolutely shocked when that gets flipped on its head. but i could be wrong so who knows!
all i know is that at this point almost everyone is supposed to be empathizing with will, and we know the painting lie pays off in season 5. i don't think they can easily backpedal with will's feelings this late into the series, and even if they wanted to theyve backed themselves into a very cramped corner by making will say that he needs mike and he always will. he's not going to just move on. its mike or nothing for him, and i don't think the duffers are going to pretty much break the one character theyve consistently put through hell and back every single season.

for all my non film major friends on here <3 this is what subtext is and how it works in the narrative
#byler#i hope they dont voltron ify byler#i hope this is coherent#and makes sense#im in the middle of a rewatch of st again#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#stranger things analysis
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Wanted to paint some of my favorite characters, nothing more nothing less

[COMMISSIONS]
Way too much yapping like an embarrassing amount, the individual portraits and the template I used below vvv
I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters- especially to people who (presumably) don't know them xjfkdk apart from the very popular ones ofc

ILLYA KURYAKIN (The man from U.N.C.L.E)
gay ass little Russian spy I love him he is so *dramatic* and a huge nerd and a Beatles fan and into fashion design- perfect pocket size blorbo ;w; also seeing a Russian character being given a positive leading role in an American tvshow from the 60s ?? Yes he lives in New York and works for UNCLE America.... But he is still a communist ?? Incredible ! Also I really like the fact he isn't given the cliché personality traits often given to Russian characters i e anger issues drinks a lot violent ect (looking at you shitty(imo) modern remake... What did you do to my little guy ;;). In a close contest with Spock for the "gayest man from tvshow" of the 60s..... And in my heart he is winning djdkd for me the gay subtext of muncle hits so much more because it's not a scifi show- it's closer to home, Napoleon and Illya were *like that* in the present day of the 60s, they were both human, and no alien fuckery made them go to the village more than once or play house in the suburbs or get attached ass up to get pegged on a regular basis... Truly a show that feels written by an old queen and a guy with the biggest fem dom fetish jkvjjkb (don't get me wrong tho I adore star trek tos and spirk too <3)

KUROO HAZAMA and PINOKO (Black Jack)
sometimes I rewatch some of the oavs from the 90s when I'm sad :) I had a huge phase a couple years back when I read nearly all the manga (should really finish it... Or reread the whole thing frankly), watched *all* the shows (bar young black jack, hated that shit) and idk I just love this venal bitch so much- him and his daughter and his conflicted feelings for his tboy ex that he still loves kfkfkf btw I'm dying for a modern take on this like please please please I'd love to see Kei Kisaragi's story rewritten a bit (trans character in the 70s sure was progressive but oh boy-), because him and black jack's relationship makes me so *weak*.... And maybe see him a bit more than in one story- anyway ! When it comes to his daughter Pinoko, it's very hit or miss- when the writers lean on the cute father adoptive daughter relationship it's great, when they lean more on the whole "she has a crush on him" (very much like a child in most case, and he *never* reciprocate thank god) and bring up the fact she is technically 18 a lot (she was an evil tumor trapped in her sister before he created a body for her- black jack shit dw), and she gets jealous of other women.... Well it's terrible and I'm uncomfy :(

EVA KANT (Diabolik)
Look.... You just can't show me danger diabolik 1968 and not expect me to become insane djdkdkdk she is so cool ;; !!! Her and her devious eel of a man (here as a panther, because even tho I haven't read the comic yet, I'm taking an educated guess that all the panther imagery is here to represent him, the lethal twunk always in the all black gimp suit... And if it's not then fuck my entire life ig fjfkkd), the cuntiest het couple you've ever seen, such freaks I love them ! Partners in crime that will blow up the tax offices of the whole country if you try to put a bounty on them <3 they are in the guilty faves category only because I'm this invested in these characters after 1 (one) movie fkfkf watched the first two remakes and was hmmm let's say underwhelmed, could have been worse but going after the 60s one ie peak cinema was hard... I went in fully invested in these heterosexuals and they still fucked up their romance and relationship ;; (don't spoil me the third one btw haven't seen it yet ! I know it's the yaoi one- which doesn't give me much hope for Eva tbh...) I'll soon start reading the comics tho ! Managed to find all twelve volumes of "Il grande Diabolik" in french for pretty cheap so I'm excited for that :D (might scan them and upload them online because omg I tried finding scans in *any* language and only found a dubious website that sold digital copies for 7€ a volume ??? What is this)

UTA (The Void / Тургор / Turgor / Tension)
Apathy girlyyyyy she just like me for real for real nfkfk what absolutely charmed me about her is yes her design, but more importantly her chamber's design (if you've never played the void, a sister's chamber is a space that represent her. You get a sense of who she is by exploring her chamber before finding her and talking to her soul it's great). The lonely island out at sea, her laying down on a suspended steel boat in a grotto, looking passively at the moon by a crack on the ceiling.... And the moon is looking back. Incredible ! I love this game so much

KIM KITSURAGI (Disco Elysium)
Do I really have to explain this one ? When I played the game with quiji I remember I kept saying "when Kim talks, we *listen*" djkdk we did get a good grade in Kim Kitsuragi and got him to dance in the church <3 this fucking centrist cop wormed it's way into my heart and many others because of course he did. The only Kim K in my eyes. Also funny anecdote : before I played Disco Elysium, I had one concept art masterclass where a kinda famous concept artist came to give advice, make us really stressed then give us a shitty grade.... And when I tell you this man looked so much like Kim ??? Same haircut, glasses, face with a scar *exactly* where Kim's portrait has a stark shadow on his cheek and he was dressed in an orange top- truly uncanny. Anyway, Kim is so fucking cool how does he do it

DARK VADOR (La guerre des étoiles)
*sight* not surprising if you know me... and to be clear when I say Vader I don't mean Anakin Skywalker, post barbecue only zouz here. I refuse to yap about this man djdkdk I already do that way to much in ao3 comment sections
And here is the template I used ! Don't know who made it tho sorry...

PS : all these where made in 2-3 hours each :D wanted to challenge myself by painting quickly, and I mostly (looking at the Eva Kant one that gave me trouble) succeeded !
#I FORGOT HIS SHITTY LITTLE MUSTACHE OMFG if you saw a clean shaven Kim for a second there no you did not#My favs are the Illya and Vader ones fuivbfd so proud of them#illya kuryakin#tmfu tv#the man from uncle#kuroo hazama#pinoko#black jack#eva kant#danger: diabolik#diabolik#the void#Тургор#turgor#tension#ice pick lodge#uta#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium#darth vader#star wars#star wars original trilogy#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital painting#portrait painting#art#my art#digital art#art template
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TAKE A BITE INTO MY HEART﹕yuta okkotsu. . .
when death strikes down those you love most, a desperate binding vow proves to be the salvation.
ꖛ warnings! (overall) nsfw + angst with happy ending(?) major character death ! blood and death (mentions + slightly described) + a bit of gore (hearts) ! cannibalism ! yandere appeals (?) ! mutual obsession ! jjk manga spoilers for the end of the shinjuku battle arc ! i basically threw every rule from the universe out of the window (this is not how binding vows work and im nearly sure of it, lol).
ꖛ about. * reader is gender-neutral. no anatomy specified + they/them pronouns and genderless nicknames.
ꖛ inspired by so, i went back to watching hannibal. blame the homoerotic subtext in the cannibalistic series for this idea.
ꖛ author's note * repost because i can't see my post in the tags (sob). originally posted this in nov 28th.
ꖛ word count 1.410 (1.4k)
[ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE. NOT PROOFREAD!]
how do you undo what can never be undone? a person's comfort when someone dies is usually knowing that it was inevitable. this fate awaits us all in the end. soon, in a day or ninety years, we too will be hidden in large wooden boxes, burned and turned to ash, or left to rot in the darkest, most forgotten corner of the world. but death changes people. its touch is not meant for those who remain alive, but it changes them all the same.
as you changed when yuta died.
the flowers seem too alive when they arrive arranged in bouquets, tied with ribbons that are too vibrant. that color bothers your eyes. or maybe he seems too colorless. it's uncomfortable.
that body on the stretcher is uncomfortable. it's unfair and uncertain. when ieiri and the others left the room ── give them a moment of privacy. you know how important it is ──, whispering behind your back as if you were an abandoned stray animal. a homeless animal, with no place in the world. pitiful. like a creature abandoned on the side of a dirty road. everyone stops to look at the tragedy, but not to help. and how they mourn. they cry more than you.
poor things. they were so happy.
swear i don't know how it happened. one minute he was fine, and the next...
i didn't think he wouldn't make it. i didn't expect this.
i can barely imagine how they must be feeling. imagine seeing someone you love die in front of you, like this.
the sound of metal being punched takes you out of your thoughts. the idea of people saying this now, with you right there with his dead body in front of you, just infuriates you so much that you punched the metal tray without even realizing it. simple as that. anger took over your muscles, and several sterilized tools were thrown on the floor. everything so fast. how can something happen so fast?
how did it all happen so fast?
he was fine. he said he was going to be fine. damn it, yuta promised he was going to stay. that he needed to fight, needed to help. your role was to stay here and give support to miss ieiri.
“asshole.” you can hear yourself mumble, your voice choked with tears. “you promised.”
when you touch his hand, searching for a familiar comfort, you find only an empty shell. normally, his long fingers would gently curl to hold yours. those warm hands would hold yours and yuta’s sweet voice would murmur it’s going to be okay, my love. we’ll make it, we always do.
lying son of a bitch. that’s what you want to scream, as the words mix with please, wake up. wake up and look at me. come back to me.
his body is so cold. not cold in yuta’s way ── warm hands and cold body, but cold like death. cold because the blood has stopped running through his veins, icy because his muscles don't move or contract anymore, his organs don't work.
just a few minutes. it's still surprisingly cool for a fresh body, but he's cold in a way that almost burns you. your aching heart can’t take this sight, no.
your body bends, and your lips touch his icy forehead. those closed eyes, those blue and depressed eyes need to open again. it's the only thing that's right. a dark whisper runs through your mind. he could come back, couldn't he? so many sorcerers have already cheated death. why did her scythe need to fall right on your boyfriend?
it wouldn't be like that. not if you're really here to change the course of history. a living and perfect heart beats in your chest — his, static and dead, is still red. it's still possible. it will be messy and completely crazy, but who's going to stop you?
who would try to execute you both? without the higher-ups, the sky's the limit and the new jujutsu society rises from the rubble of the old. and what golden age doesn't deserve its own champion? may he rise from the ashes and become the new champion of a sick society: recovering from the rot caused by the corruption of the old jurisdiction, yuta will overcome death and return to his place, by your side.
only by your side.
the blood is sticky, gooey. the bright red is so grotesque against yuta's pale skin that you wonder if perhaps god created blood to convince humans to kill less. it didn't work.
as the incision is made in his chest, you quickly put your fingers inside his body. a little searching, and with more effort, you hit his heart. great. with some difficulty, you cut a piece and brings it up to your mouth.
gulp. your swallowing is like the ringing of the death bell.
his blood stains your index and middle fingers — and greedily, you raise them to your lips and stain them with red. it's like lipstick. there's a certain romanticism in that.
the price to pay is not a debt that will be collected immediately. this could backfire very quickly, perhaps in a way that no one can stop. but if this gives him back to you—
the doorknob lowers, and someone grumbles behind the door. there's not much time. you don't have any more time. hey, did you lock the door? whoever is speaking, their voices seem like background noise as you lean in to kiss his cold lips.
may you share a life, may you share gifts and curses again. pure, mutual love overcomes every kind of mortal wound and lacerating incision.
you can almost feel a deep discouragement ── no answer. it didn't work? why? do you have to take a life to give another? it would make sense. bam. bam. open the door, they say. scared of what you might do to yourself.
a hand reaches up and grabs the back of your head, pushing you down once more. and yuta leans up, his lips wrapping around your bloody ones eagerly.
the salty tears run down your cheeks, and your hands let go of the scalpel to cup his face in your hands. it’s almost animalistic, desperate, as pure love invades you both.
he leans back, breathing heavily. oh, he is breathing. yuta okkotsu has returned from the dead thanks to you.
“what is going on— i can’t— my head hurts.”
the pain that hits you right after is almost unbearable. it's like being torn in half and then put back together in a completely different way.
he holds you, still trying to shoo away the ringing in his ears. “love— love, what’s wrong?” yuta asks, grabbing your hand to settle you. to push the pain away from your beating heart.
the heart you two now share. two halves of your heart, shared to pump life through your bodies. you’re weakened, but he is alive. it was worth the price.
the door is broken down with a bang, but you can't make yourself care. your arms wrap around what used to be a corpse, but now is back to being your sweet, lovely boyfriend. he hugs your waist, his fingers grabbing at the flesh as if he wants to make sure you’re real. this is real.
“you’re alive, baby.” you sob, and he gently kisses your tears away. “it’s okay. you’re okay.”
and when the others enter the medical bay, all they see is yuta, who was dead less than a minute ago. he has a new scar on his chest, a vertical cut. the scalpel that was used to help you with the process has long been forgotten, thrown on the floor.
your chin rest at the top of his head, and it feels like you can finally breathe after drowning in grief for cold hours. — years, it’s what it felt like. he nuzzles into your warmth, stealing some for his own body.
his blood is flowing again, but he's still a little pale and the temperature is freezing in the medical bay. he rests his head against your shoulder, watching all the shocked and confused reactions from everyone else.
it's like walking straight into a sacrilege, something impossible, something that should never have happened. the breakdown of the natural order happened here, in this room. and yuta is alive.
alive, and staring at them with cold blue eyes for interrupting your moment.
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i gotta tell you what ive read two hours of wholesome monster girl academia and
1. its fucking boring. but
2. its like completely uncritically set in a monstergirl residential school. the protagonist thinks about how monsters are better off at private catholic academies instead of public school. its established in the loredump at the beginning of the game that monsters were uncontacted peoples discovered via the first uses of satellite photography. they were genocided by most of human society but for whatever reason the pope declared that all are equal under the eyes of god and is stated to have allowed interspecies marriages well before it was legal. none of the monsters you get to know ever express anything regarding having a culture outside of catholicism, including one (a daywalker, the child of a human and vampire) who is actively repulsed by his vampire lineage and verbatim says that "vampires are 100% evil." crazy subtext in this thing
2.5 sorry i cannot get over that monsterfucker marriages were officiated by catholic churches, IN TEXT, before interracial or gay marriages were
3. there are many weird details that (speaking as someone who was raised catholic and went to sunday school) immediately scream that the author is either not catholic or an adult convert. which makes the choice to commit to this bit so intensely just baffling to me. like they have mass on wednesday which is (to my knowledge) exclusively a protestant practice. all the spaces you inhabit (particularly the religious ones) are not nearly as ostentatious as you would expect from a catholic church. like their chapel is more spartan than the one attached to the sunday school i went to. they wont even involve the more interesting/iconic catholic rituals like lent because its set in OCTOBER. where are my fish feast fridays.
4. the fucking vampires dont even drink blood so we dont even get the awesome lore possibility that the eucharist is filling to them because its literally the body and blood of christ
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