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vanfleeter · 28 days

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Matched: Chapter 1 - The Reunion

Characters: Jake Kiszka x Thea Warnings: 18+. Drinking. Angst. Smut. Lust. Protected sex (p in v). Oral sex (m & f receiving). Fluff. (please let me know if I missed anything) Author's Note: Beginning of an adventure told through the eyes of Jacob.

When I met her, I found myself immediately attracted to her. Pathetic, I know. There was just something about her that drew me to her. Her eyes sparkle when she’s happy but show utter despair when she’s not. I fear if a flower were to look upon her sadness, it would wilt. But the life that shines through when she’s happy is like bathing in the sunlight, warm and comfortable. Her smile is contagious, you can’t help but smile when she does. Her laugh is melodious, like a song you want to listen to over and over again and never tire of hearing it. Her hair, long and dark as it flows over her shoulders and halfway down the spine of her back. Her skin lights me on fire in the best possible way. I crave to feel her skin against mine, tracing my fingers along her skin, tracing every curve and goosebump that raises as I make my mark on her.

I thought I was shit out of luck when I found out that Sam liked her too. Pursued her in every possible way until he finally got her to agree to go out on a date with him. I kept my distance whenever she came around, looked away when he’d kiss her. I tried to keep myself distracted from her, dated around–but no one compared to her. No was like her. I thought of her whenever I had myself buried inside of another woman. She consumed my thoughts at every waking hour, she even infiltrated my dreams.

Seeing her with Sam physically pained me. Did she make him feel the same way she makes me feel? Did he get butterflies whenever he saw her? Did his heart pound in his chest when she was near? Would his palms get sweaty? Did he ever stutter over his words when he spoke with her because of how nervous she makes him?

I would do anything to have her–but she’s with my brother. I can’t do that to him. I can’t be selfish, wanting her all to myself. He seems to genuinely like her, her him. He’s happy, and I don’t want to be the one to ruin that.

Fate, though, seemed to have different plans.

After being away for nearly a year, traveling around the boat, like I’ve always wanted to do–something my twin brother thought was insane, I had come back home to be told of the news that I used to be so desperate to hear.

“We broke up..” Sam says as he pops the top off of a beer bottle and hands it over to me. I gladly take it and drink some of it.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say as I set the bottle down on the table. “When did it happen?”

“A few weeks after you left on your boat trip,” He sits down across the table from me and takes a drink of his own beer. “But it ended on good terms.. We mutually decided to split. We fit better as friends.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

Sam nods his head, takes another drink of his beer. The bustle of the people in the bar toned down a little, finally. Between the loud music and the people raising their voices over it to be heard made my head want to explode.

I see his face light up and he waves someone over. “I didn’t think you were going to make it!” He says as he slides out of the booth to hug the incoming guest. I nearly choke on my beer when I see her walking over.

It’s only been a year but somehow she looks different. Her long hair was now shorter, stopping just above her breasts. Those seemed to have gotten bigger too.

Knock it off, Jake. Be respectful.

She stands there, dressed in a black leggings that accentuate her curves and she’s wearing a dark red sweater, a little low cut revealing the top half of her cleavage.

After their hug ends, Sam invites her to join us in the booth. She happily agrees and slides in beside him. My heart hammers in my chest, the same way it always has. I hadn’t thought of her the whole time I was away–or at least the last six months of my trip, I wasn’t. It only took me half the trip to finally decide to get over her. Now here she is, seated across from me, looking more beautiful than she did when I had last seen her.

“So, Jake..” I lift my eyes to look at her. The way she says my name, innocently enough, but still does something to me. “How was your boating trip? I saw a few things you’ve posted, looked like fun.”

“It was good,” I say as I take another drink. “Relaxing, it felt nice to get away from everything for a little while.”

She smiles and it just about kills me and I can’t fight the urge to smile back. “I’m glad you had a good time. Missed you though..”

She missed me?

“Feels good being back?”

“Yeah, it does.” I say.

Sam then excuses himself to the bathroom. He’s leaving us alone. Now the sweaty palms set in. I run them against the fabric of my jeans, willing the nerves to go away. It’s been over a year, almost two, since we were ever alone together. It was quiet between us. Neither one of us is speaking. I had no words, unsure of what to say exactly as the woman I once loved sits in the booth across from me.

Could this really be happening? Is fate trying its damndest to push us back together, though we have never been together? Or is this some cruel joke from the universe, bringing us together like this, only then to rip us apart and force me through the tragic heartbreak of seeing her loving on someone else?

“I saw that you made a stop along the coast of Florida back in June.” She finally says. “Not to sound stalkerish, but I saw you there.”

I looked up again, meeting her eyes. “You were there? You saw me?”

She nods her head. “I wanted to talk to you but uh, you seemed a bit preoccupied with a blonde–practically swallowing her tongue.” My cheeks burned in a flush and I ran a hand through my hair. She giggles and leans back in the booth. “I would’ve gone to see you the next day, but your boat was already gone.”

“You would have come to me?” I ask, not believing a word she was saying. She would have come to me. I barely remember being there. I don’t think I would have remembered her if she did come to me. I barely remember the blonde. I wouldn’t deny that if I woke up with her wrapped up around me, I wouldn’t have been upset. It’s everything I had longed for, to have her wrapped around my body, whimpering my name as I made her come apart at the mercy of my own hands.

“I should’ve gone sooner, maybe I would’ve caught you before you left.” She says, leaning forward on the table.. “After that, you were never seen or heard from. Next thing I know, today comes and Sam is calling me, inviting me out because you finally came back home.”

“And you still came?”

I can see the light blush in her cheeks. She nods her head and smiles. “After seeing you in Florida, you were all I could think about. Hoping you were safe but also hoping you would come back home.”

“I would have, eventually..”

“I see that now.”

My mouth presses into a tight lipped smile. Glancing around the bar, I notice that Sam hasn’t emerged from the bathroom. Pulling out my phone, I shot him a quick text.

‘Where are you?’

Just as quick, he response comes back. ‘Went home. Have some fun! ;)’

“Um well,” I cleared my throat. “Seems like Sam has ditched us.”

“You’re kidding..”

I shake my head and stuff my phone back into my pocket.

Come on, Jake.. Take your chance. She’s here. Don’t let her get away again.

“I’m going to go pay the tab, and then maybe we can get out of here?” I say, in hopes that she’ll say yes. When she nods her head, I begin to slide out of the booth and make my way up to the bar to close the tab. I’ll request the money later from Sam as payment for ditching us. Though I’m secretly hoping tonight won’t be all bad.

If she had shown up on my boat, I would have taken her with me. I would have taken her everywhere with me. So long as I had her and knew she was mine, I would have done it.

“I still have it,” I say. “The boat.”

Having not driven to the bar this evening, I had no other way home. So a walk is what we took back to my place. A place she’s never been. A place that has never been graced with her presence, everything inside untouched. Now she’s here, standing in my living room and holding a glass of wine.

“You brought it all the way here?”

I nod my head. Taking her hand, I pull her out of the living room and out the back door towards the pole barn. Her eyes grew twice their size when I pulled her through the door and flipped on the lights.

“This is so much bigger than I thought it was.” She says as she approaches the boat. She runs her fingers along the still glistening paint. “Don’t tell me you brought women on to this..”

I chuckle but shake my head. “No.. I didn’t think anyone was worth bringing onto this.” I find myself stepping behind her, placing my hands on her hips and drawing her close to me. “Except you..”

She turns her head to the side and lifts her eyes up to look at him. “Only me?”

I nod my head and pull away to lead her around to the back where the ladder is. I drag it down and help her climb up. “I was selfish.. Hoping that I’d find you out there somewhere and that I’d take you back here and make love to you like I’ve always wanted to.”

I caught her biting her bottom lip. She steps up to me and slowly wraps her arms around my neck. “What if we did that now?” She asks.

She.. I stood there, not believing the words that she had spoken. After everything that transpired; our meeting, her falling in love with Sam and then them dating, my heart longing to be hers and she to be mine, and then my leaving. Now she stands before me, suggesting the act of making love to be committed at this moment.

“It’s not the same without being on the waves…” I say with a sly smile.

She shrugs her shoulders and pulls away before walking around me. She ducks inside but peers back out. “We can make our own waves.”

Oh fuck.

I didn’t want to seem desperate and run right after her but at the same time I wanted to run after her. So I met in the middle and hastily went after her. I brought her to the bedroom and gently laid her out on the bed.

Is this really happening?

Her legs wrap around my waist and she pulls me down on top of her. Her breasts are fully pressed up against my chest. Leaning down, I press my lips to hers. My god, they feel so good. They were everything I imagined they would be. Soft and nearly smooth, save for a few breaks in the sensitive skin.

On instinct, my hips grind against her core and she moans into my mouth. I know I’m growing hard and I know she knows because I feel her hand snake its way between our bodies. She cups her hand around my clothed length and slowly starts to move her hand in circles. I groan and bury my face in her neck where I lick and I suck on her skin, leaving a noticeable mark.

I will always mark her so everyone knows that she belongs to me now.

Not being able to contain myself, I pull away and unbutton the rest of my shirt before sliding it off and tossing it somewhere in the room. She sits up as well and removes her top, revealing her braless chest to me. Immediately, I latch onto her left breast as I begin to massage her right one. I circle her nipple with my tongue before lightly nipping at it, which elicits a deep moan from within her.

Licking her nipples once more, I pull away again only to hook my fingers beneath the waistband of her leggings and drag them down her legs along with her panties. I find them to be black and all lace. I wonder if her bra matches, if she ever chose to wear it. Once I have her pants off, I move downwards, hooking her legs over my shoulders.

Her cunt is right there in front me and I couldn’t feel any luckier than I do at this moment. I bet I’m better than any lover she’s ever had.

“Jake…” I hear her whine. It makes my cock twitch inside my pants. Guess I know now that I like to hear her whine like that.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” I tease as I bring my hand to her center and slowly rub my thumb in circles over her clit.

She moans and reaches down with her hands to tug at my hair. “You know what..”

I smirk and move my face closer, removing my thumb and rubbing my nose against her clit instead. I flick out my tongue and lick upwards through her folds, as slowly as possible, just to drive her crazy.

I lick and I suck and I thrust my fingers inside of her until I have her legs clutching my head tightly between them. She comes undone at my mercy and I drink up every drop she has to offer.

Pulling away, I gently drop her legs to the bed and undo my belt before unbuttoning and shoving them down my legs. Digging into my wallet, I pull out a condom and slide it on my length. She moves up the bed to make herself more comfortable and I crawl after her, resting once again in between her legs.

In one swell thrust, I’m plunging deep inside of her, stretching her out. We both moan in pleasure as I bottom out. I’ve always dreamt of this, having my cock buried so far inside of her and making the most beautiful love to her. And now it’s becoming real. I start to move, thrusting in and out at a delicious pace. I come to rest my arms on either side of her head, tangling my fingers inside of her hair.

Her naked breasts bounce with each of my thrusts, they brush against my chest, which turns me on even more. I feel her hook her leg against my waist before I’m suddenly flipped onto my back and she’s on top of me, straddling me. She laughs at the surprised look on my face.

Fuck yeah I’m surprised. No woman has ever done that before.

She keeps the pace I had going, lifting herself up on her knees before letting herself drop back right back down. I can tell she’s close as her walls clench around me.

“Soak me, Thea..” I bring my hand between us and rub her throbbing clit. Her fingers dig into my chest and thrust my hips upwards, pushing myself deeper. My name falls from her mouth as her release coats every inch of me and continues to ride me until her orgasm is through.

Before I even had a chance to register how beautiful she looked, she was off of me in a second and rolling off the condom. Her mouth swallows me and she begins working me to my own release.

“Fuck..” I clutch the sheets in my hands as my legs shake. I didn’t even know I could do that.

Soon she has me coming to my release, the orgasm washing cleanly over me. Her tongue. Goddamn. She licks me from shaft to tip, not missing a single drop of my own release.

Once she is finished and my orgasm subsides into nothing, she crawls back up to me and curls into my side, draping her leg across my waist.

“That was… Wow..” I breathed, my chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as I worked to relax my body. She giggles against my chest and begins to draw little circles on my skin.

“Jake?” I hum in acknowledgment, waiting for her to continue. “Had we seen each other again in Florida, would you have taken me with you?”

I nod my head and look down at her. “In a heartbeat.”

There was a part of me that couldn’t believe that this is all real, that if I were to wake up tomorrow morning, she would be gone and I would have dreamed all of this. A dream that I never would want to wake from, because she’s here and she’s in my arms.

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vanfleeter · 27 days

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Matched: Chapter 2 - The Postcard

*Please read the warnings below*

Characters: Jake Kiszka x Thea Warnings: 18+. Language. Angst. Anger. Yelling. Jealousy. Dark thoughts. Talks of death/suicide. Crying. Smut. Mentions towards sex. Unprotected sex (p in v). Oral sex (f receiving). Fingering (f receiving). Fluff. (please let me know if I have missed anything so I can add to the list) Author's Note: I couldn't wait, but now I have to force myself to wait until this coming Sunday to share the third chapter.

*If having read the warnings and you feel uncomfortable, please do not continue on*

We had fallen asleep there inside the boat, entangled with each other. I didn’t mind it though. The bed was comfortable and the bedding was heavy enough to keep us both warm as the pole barn grew colder overnight.

I held her close as she slept beside me. It feels so right having my arms wrapped around her. She smells like a perfect mix of sex and apples. The apples must be her shampoo. Curling tighter around her body, I pull her as close as I can to mine. I can see her cheeks rise and she smiles and I press my lips to the back of her neck. I trace the curves of her collarbone and up the expanse of her neck. Her cheeks rise even higher as I drag my finger over the line of her jaw.

Soon she turns over and smiles up at me. “Good morning.” She says.

“Good morning.” I say back with a smile. “Are you hungry? I could cook us something in the house.”

She shakes her head and buries her face into the side of my neck. “Not right now..” I hear her mumble against my skin.

“Then what do you want to do?” I ask while I trace my fingers up and down her spine. “I don’t mind laying here all day, but our bodies will need sustenance soon.”

She smiles against my neck and pulls away. “Make love to me.” She says.

“I don’t have another–” I begin to say. That condom was my last one, truthfully.

She shakes her head. “I have an implant.”

“You do?” She nods her head and rolls onto her back.

I stroke myself a few times to get myself hard again before I nudge her legs apart. I rub my tip through her folds, shuddering slightly at the feel of her. I look back into her eyes looking for permission to continue and she smiles and nods her head. Slowly I push myself inside of her. The friction between us feels incredible as I brush against her walls with every inch that I can reach until I’m completely bottomed out. “Damn..” I mumble as I rest my head on her chest. Feeling her completely felt like a whole different world. Still with my head resting on her chest, I make slow and intentional thrusts. Turning my head I leave soft kisses along her skin. I kept the pace at a slow one, taking my time to be with her. I’ve been unsure of how long I had with her.

I wanted to make this last because, what if she leaves today and things just stay as they are and we don’t move forward? What if after this morning.. What if this is it?

I hadn’t realized that I had fallen deep into my thoughts until I felt her tap my cheek. “Jake?” She softly speaks, resting the palm of her hand against the side of my face, cupping it. I lifted my head, my eyes meeting hers. “Are you alright?”

I pull out of her, already mourning the loss of contact. I lay out beside her on the bed, my eyes fastened to the ceiling above us. “Thea..” I finally speak. “I don’t want to do this if it means you’re only going to leave..”

I feel the bed move as she comes closer. Her delicate hand rests on my chest. “I’m going nowhere,” She says.

“You mean it?”

“I do.” She leans over and presses her lips to mine. “Now I’m hungry..”

I can’t help the snort that escapes me. “Come on..” I say as I push myself off the bed.

–

We couldn’t really keep our hands off of each other. Okay.. Mostly me. I can’t help myself. I finally have her and I don’t want to waste a single moment not touching her.

I have my arm wrapped around her as I toy with her pussy. She’s bracing herself against the counter top of the kitchen island, knuckles turning white as she rides out her orgasm on my fingers. “That’s my girl..” I whisper into her ear as I kiss the skin behind it.

She leans back against me, her head resting on my shoulder. I gently sway our bodies from side to side. “Can we do this every time we have breakfast?”

I chuckle and kiss her cheek. “As you wish..”

I feel her smile as she turns around to face me. Her beautiful, doe eyes look at me, full of such wonder. I could get lost in her eyes and never want to find my way back. She’s my siren and I will gladly follow her to the deepest depths of the ocean. Let her take my soul, claim it. Own it for eternity. Dramatic? Sure. But is it the truth? Always.

“What are you thinking about?” She says through a giggle.

“Your eyes,” I say, never breaking contact with her irises.

Her eyes squint just a little as her smile grows. “My eyes?”

I nod my head. “They’re beautiful.” I say. “Especially when the sun shines against them at the right time.”

“And why is that?”

“You remember those root beer candies?”

“Mmhmm..”

“And when you’d hold them up to the light, they had that perfect golden, brown glow to it?” She nods her head, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. I reach for her hips and press her body against mine. “That’s how your eyes look. They have a golden, brown glow to it and I find that beautiful.”

“But not perfect?” She pouts her bottom lip and I smile.

“Of course it’s perfect.” I lean in and press my lips against hers. “Everything about you is perfect.” She rolls her eyes, not in the way I could make them roll, but rolling them nonetheless. “Don’t do that,” I say, staring her in her eyes again. “There is nothing about you that I won’t find perfect.”

I grind my hips against her naked center, pushing my robe away from her body. My hardened length rubs against her folds. Her head falls backwards as she leans back against the counter and her eyes flutter closed as she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip once more.

“Jake..” She moans. “Please..”

I roll my hips again before pulling away and sliding down my boxers, freeing myself. I stroke myself before I hitch her leg up and around my waist and slowly push myself inside of her. She whines, letting her head fall back even further. I thrust inside of her, pumping gingerly before picking up the pace.

The robe comes undone from around her chest, exposing her breasts as they bounce with each thrust. “Oh god, Jake.. Right there, baby..”

“Yeah?” I slide my hands up her body, cupping each of her breasts in my hands. “Do you feel good?”

She eagerly nods her head as she claws at the counter tops, in search of something to hold on to. Letting go of her breasts, I grab hold of her legs and pick them up and bending them closer to her body as I thrust even deeper inside of her. She lets out this animalistic moan.

I feel her walls clench around my cock, her breaths growing ragged. I keep up my pace, bringing us both closer to our climaxes. “Touch yourself.” I find myself demanding. Her hand creeps in between her legs and her fingers begin toying with her clit, rubbing it in circles and pressing harshly. Her walls clench around me again and I find myself cursing loudly as I spill inside of her. She’s following right behind me, her own release covering my cock and mixing with my release.

I stay buried inside of her as I gently lower her legs and lean over top of her. “Definitely doing this every morning.” She says, her eyes never leaving the ceiling.

I burst into laughter before carefully sliding out of her. I grab a washcloth and wet it before cleaning off my length and folding it over to clean her center.

Helping her down from the counter, I notice her legs shake a little. She shoves me away when she catches me snicker. “Come on, let’s go wash up.”

“Uh, Jake?”

I turn back to face her. “Yeah?”

“I’m going to need help up the stairs.”

Walking back over to her, I scoop her up into my arms and I carry her up the stairs and into my bedroom. Setting her gently on the toilet, I reach around the shower curtain and turn the faucet letting the warm water spray down from the shower head. We spent the next thirty minutes washing up before retreating to the bed.

There wasn’t love making or heavy sex this time around, just hands touching each other’s bodies as our tongues wrestled. Her skin is soft, it feels unreal. It’s like silk against the calluses that cover my hands. I know I don’t deserve her. I’ve done nothing to earn her love but here she is, pressed against my body allowing me to hold her, to have her.

“Jake..” She says as she tries pulling her away. She giggles as I pull back to me. “Jake, as much as I want to stay like this, I really should go get clean clothes.”

“I have clothes,” I say as I kiss her neck. “You can wear them.” I continue kissing her neck, slowly drawing her back in. But alas she pulls away again and pecks my lips before climbing off my lap. “Please don’t go..” I plead. “Please..”

Thea gives me a sympathetic look. “I promise I’ll come right back–I can’t live in your clothes forever.”

“You could.”

She smiles and pecks my lips one last time before spinning around and grabbing the robe off the door handle. She slides it on and ties it around her waist, securing it so it covers everything, and skips out of the room.

Falling back against the pillows, I exhale sharply and throw my arms back behind my head. She comes back to the room, not even ten minutes laters, fully clothed and leaning against the doorframe. “Enjoying the view, are we?” I say, flashing her a grin.

“Very..” She laughs. “But I need a favor..”

“And how ever can I help?” I say, sitting up in bed.

“Can you drive me to my place?” She asks. “I mean–I could walk, but that’s at least four miles and I’m too lazy.” Chuckling, I nod my head before dragging myself off the bed and to my dresser to get clothes.

I’m going to her place. I’ve never been to her apartment before. With being Sam at the time, and then I taking off to sail around the world, there never seemed to be a reason for me to ever be over at her place.

Leading me upstairs to her apartment, I watch her as she fishes in her purse for the keys and pulls them out to unlock the door. Pushing it open, she steps aside to let me in. “Uh, just make yourself comfortable. I shouldn’t be long.” She says as she hangs up her purse and kicks off her shoes.

Glancing around her apartment, I come to notice how simple it is. Everything has a place for itself. Pictures line the wall, mostly family. Family that I’ve never met. Will I ever? My eyes land on a photo, one I’ve never seen before. One that must have been taken while I was gone.

Sam has his arms wrapped around her, as they both smile gleefully at the camera.

I tear my eyes from it as I hear her come walking back down the hallway.

“I’m ready.” She says as she smiles at me.

I smile back, pushing the thought of the photo out of my mind. “Shall we?” I say extending my hand.

Arriving back at my place, I carry her bag upstairs for her. My phone buzzes in my pocket. I set her bag on the bed and pulled my phone out of my pants pocket. Josh’s name flashes on the screen. An instant smile spreads across my face. I hadn’t spoken to Josh since I got back, so seeing his name again fills me with happiness.

“To what do I owe this call from you, brother?” I say as I answer his call.

His chuckles sound through the phone. “Still on that Oliver Reed shit, I see.”

I laugh. “His spirit resides within me,” I continue with the bit before changing back to my normal voice. “It’s good to hear your voice again. Been a while–though seriously, what is the reason for you calling me?”

“Sam..” Josh says with a tone that suggests he’s not entertained with what he is about to tell me. “He came up with this new riff, apparently, and he wants us all to come over–maybe add more to it. Claims it could possibly land on the new album.”

New album. I hadn’t been back home long before I’m already being pulled back into the reins of the band. Though I’ve had a long enough time away, and I do miss the band, the music, and playing for thousands of people, I’m not quite ready to dive straight back in. But to see my brothers again, to play music with them, I wouldn’t pass that up. It was one of the things that I have missed.

“Give me ten minutes and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Josh says gleefully. “Bring everything, I have a feeling that it’s going to be a long day.”

“That sounded like a cheery phone call,” Thea says as she walks over.

I put my phone away and unzipped her bag. “Sam came up with a new riff, wants us all to come over to try to add more to it. Thinks it might end up on the new album.”

“New album?” She says curiously. “Diving back in already?’

I shrug my shoulders and pull out her clothes from her bag. “Slowly, I hope.” I say with a small twinge of a smile tugging at the side of my lips. “I have space in my closet for you to hang these up, so they don’t wrinkle.” I take the empty bag and carry it to the closet. “I’m gonna get ready while you put everything away and then we can leave when I’m done.”

She nods her head and kisses my cheek. “Don’t take too long, you know how impatient Josh can be.”

I chuckle and nod my head. “Unfortunately, I do.” I say as I pull her in for a kiss. “I promise I won’t take long.” I grab a shirt off of a hanger and a pair of pants before going off to the bathroom. I’ve already showered, so there isn’t much I have to do.

I was in the middle of buttoning my pants when Thea stepped up into the door holding a postcard in her hand. A worn postcard. One that I haven’t seen in months since my time spent in Spain. I felt my heart plummet to my feet, or rather my stomach, I felt like I wanted to vomit.

My love travels far to wherever you are. I hope you think of me, because I think of you. Things did not turn out as I hoped they would be. But there is not a thing I can do. Is there?

I knew the words all too well. Remembered them as if they were seared into my brain.

“Where did you find that?” I ask.

“It fell from one of your shirts when I was hanging up my dress–I accidentally brushed against it when I turned…”

“I never wanted you to read that.” I say. “I should’ve burned it when I had the chance to.”

Her eyebrows pull together and her hands drop to her sides. “But Jake–”

“I was in a bad state when I wrote that..” I say.

“Bad state? Wh-What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I say as I finish buttoning my pants.

“Jake, I-”

“Please, just.. Let it be..”

“But-”

“Thea!” I shout and slam my hand on the sink’s counter. I inhale a shaking breath, clenching my jaw and rolling my fists into balls at my sides. “Just listen to me, please,” I say as calmingly as I can. “I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve dealt with it, it’s in the past.”

“Jake, it was dated six months ago..”

“Thea, stop pushing this–pushing me. You don’t know anything..” I step up to her and rip the postcard out of her hands before tearing it into pieces and tossing it into the trash and storming out of the bathroom.

All that time that I worked so hard to get rid of, to push out of my head, just comes flooding right back up the drain. I was right when I said that I should’ve burned that postcard. I never should’ve kept it. I don’t even know why I did it.

I feel bad for yelling at her, but I needed her to stop. I wanted her to let it go. I didn’t mean to yell, it just happened.

As I sit there on the edge of the boat in the pole barn with my legs dangling over the edge, I’m back on the calm waters of the Pacific, watching the sun setting. The postcard is clutched in my hands as I stared aimlessly at the horizon and the sinking sun. That’s how I felt. Just like the sun, sinking. Drowning.

I knew I had to let her go. Knew that she didn’t belong to me in that moment. That she might never be mine. I’ve said this before that I was selfish, hoping and wishing she’d be mine. If she wanted to be with Sam, then I’d let her. If he truly loved her, then I’d let him. I’d move on and forget all about her.

Aside from the music, there was nothing else tethering me to this world, to this life.

Stuffing the postcard into the pocket of my shirt, I slide the sleeves off of my shoulders and chuck the shirt behind me onto the boat. Standing to my feet, I grasp hold of the rope that is pulled tightly to keep the sails upright. The wind blows through my hair, the gentle breeze feeling like her silk skin brushing over my shoulders.

Just do it. The little voice inside my head says, nudging me closer to the edge.

A gust of wind tips the boat, causing me to lose my footing. I slip off the edge, my grip falling from the rope. I slide off the edge of the boat, grasping for anything to grab hold on it. My hand finally grips onto the metal pole on the side of the boat. My body slammed into the side, scraping against the ladder. I knew I was cut when the salt water touched my rib cage causing immense stinging.

I managed to pull myself back up into the boat and fell onto the deck, with my heart pounding in my chest and my breathing ragged. The sunset skies high above me, taunting me in reds and oranges. I hadn’t moved from that spot, even when the skies turned dark and the stars started to appear.

Just the tiny sliver of me still held hope, that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way as I did for her.

Had she stopped me in Florida all those months ago, had she come up to me, I wouldn’t have had those thoughts. But I know I can’t hold the blame over her for my own selfish actions. I know better than that. I just wish now that she would have come to me.

I hear the door to the pole barn squeak open and I look over to see Thea slowly step in, her eyes carefully watching me as if I were going to explode on her again. Climbing down from the boat, I walk over to her and gently reach for her hand. I place my lips upon the top of her hand, giving her a gentle kiss before I hold it between my hands.

“I’m sorry,” I say, resting my forehead against her. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“I’m sorry I pried..” She says. “I promise I wasn’t–”

I shake my head, interrupting her, “There are some things you should know–and it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I’m not ready.”

“Well,” She holds my hands and presses them to her chest. “I’m here when you are ready.” She says. “Now come on, we should get going. I’m sure everyone is waiting.”

–

“Yes! The prodigal brother returns!” Danny jokes as he throws his arms onto the air. They come down and fall around my shoulders, pulling me for a hug. “It’s great to see you–I missed you while you were away.”

I chuckled, hugging him back. “Yeah sure you did,” I joke. “I saw post after post–always at a party, Mr. Social Butterfly.”

Danny laughs and pats my shoulders. “Well what else was I supposed to do while you embarked on your journey?”

Josh was the next one to greet me. “Even though we just talked on the phone, I still want to hug you.” He laughs before throwing his arms around me. It felt good hugging him again. I had missed having him by my side at every waking moment. “It is great to have you back home.”

“I hope you worked on your film while I was away,” I say while we still hug. “I told you to.”

“Well,” Josh sighs and pulls away. “I did..” A sly smile spreads on his face. “It was thrilling! The script was amazing, by the way. Everyone loved it. We got it all done within six months and it’s finally out of post production. I think the studio wants to submit it to a film festival in New York.”

“That is all incredible!” I exclaim as I playfully shove Josh. “So while Danny was out partying and doing god knows what else, you actually filmed a movie.”

Josh eagerly nods his head. “Oh and she,” Josh points in Thea’s direction and flashes me a smile before continuing. “She helped out a lot with this process. Mostly in makeup but she made everyone look gorgeous. I keep asking her to be our makeup artist but she keeps declining.”

She beams a grin at him. “I didn’t decline, I said I’d think about it.”

Josh chuckles. “Nonetheless, she was fantastic.” He then pulls me off to the other side of the living room, saying he wants me to read over some of the lyrics he had conjured up over the last few months.

I notice Sam walking over to Thea and greeting her with a small hug. “I see ditching you two at the bar worked out,” Sam winks as he nudges her side.

She smiles. “You could say that.”

“Alright, are we going to do something or are we just going to stand around?” Danny says before drumming a little.

The melodic sound of my guitar flows through the void, filling my ears and wrapping around my body like an invisible hand that guides me through the dark. I sit there on the floor, in front of the fireplace and strumming delicately on my guitar. A notebook is open in front of me as I chew on a pencil between my teeth.

I stop playing and lean forward, pulling the pencil from my mouth, and jotting a few notes on the paper. “Did I wake you?” I ask, noting Thea’s presence in the threshold of the living room. “Come here..” I beckon, still keeping my back turned facing her as I continue to write in my notebook.

Her feet move, pulling her deeper into the living room. Bending down on the floor, she sits down beside me. “Can’t sleep?” She finally says.

I nod my head. “Tossed and turned so much I feared that I would wake you..”

“So you came down here to play?”

Again I nod my head. “Clears my head–which then makes it easier for me to sleep.”

“It sounds beautiful,” She says. “A little chilling, but beautiful.”

I smile a little. “Until it gets switched to the SG, paired with Sam’s bass, and Danny’s drums, then it’ll sound electric–no pun intended.”

“And what about Josh?” She asks.

I chuckled and wrote a little more into my notebook. “Somehow he’ll write lyrics that sound just as haunting as the music but yet when he sings it, it’ll sound uplifting and beautiful, even if the words suggest a deeper meaning otherwise.”

“Such a talented bunch.”

I smile again and lean back against the pillows that I had propped up against the coffee table.

“Is the fire a part of your cleansing?” She asks.

“Nothing like sweating out the toxins.”

She laughs and presses a kiss to my cheek. I turn my head to look at her. “You have bags under your eyes.” I say.

She rolls her eyes and I laugh. “Gee, way to make a girl feel beautiful.”

I lean over and press a gentle kiss on her. “You are always beautiful.” I say. “And besides, I’m pretty sure that I have some too.”

“Yes,” She says as she rests her shin on my shoulder. “Makes you look–”

“Watch it..”

“Or what?”

I hum, setting my guitar gently on the floor in front of me and I tug her onto my lap, forcing her legs to straddle my waist. I can feel the heat of her chest through the fabric of the worn t-shirt that she stole from my dresser. My hands slide up her waist and underneath the shirt and I push it up and over her breasts before pulling it off.

Slowly I lay her on the floor, on her back as I kiss her, and trailing them down her neck and to the valley of her breasts. I continue down her torso, swirling my tongue around her belly button. Dragging her underwear down her legs, I toss them away before spreading her legs.

I sweep my tongue through her folds and her back snaps into an arch as I insert a finger beside my tongue. She moans out into the air, reaching her hands down to my hair and tugging on it and I hum against her throbbing clit.

Soon I have her climaxing. Coming down from her high, she tilts her head downwards to look between her legs as I continue to lap up her release, not letting one drop be missed. Once I was finished, I helped her back up and rest her back in my lap.

“Jake..”

“Hmm?” I murmur, burying my face into the crook of her neck.

“What happened out there?” She asks, bracing for me to react the same way I did yesterday.

“Out where?”

“In Spain.. What happened?”

I inhale and turn my eyes to the fire. “This isn’t a conversation to be had at four in the morning..” I say.

“But I think it’s a conversation we need to have..”

I nod my head and kiss her shoulder, my lips lingering longer than usual. “You’ll look at me differently..” I finally speak.

“Jake, you said you were in a dark place,” She turns on my lap to face me, caressing my face in her hands. “Was it because of me?” I cast my eyes downwards, confirming her answer. When I look back up at her, I know she can see the tears filling my eyes. “Jake..”

“It wasn’t just…you..” I say, my voice trembling and my chin quivering. “I believed that I wasn’t good enough for you, I believed that I wasn’t good enough for anything–or anyone. I-If you didn’t want me–or love me–then who would?” She lifts her hand to my cheek and wipes away the fallen tear. “I felt like I was suffocating, being dragged down by everything.. And the date.. Written on that postcard–that was the day I contemplated ending it all..”

My heart beats fast in my chest. I had never spoken that aloud to anyone. I wanted to die. I believed I had nothing to live for anymore.

“I almost did–but not by my own hand..” I continue. “The wind, it was strong that day and it blew the sails, nearly tipping the boat over and—I slipped..” I sniffles and wipe the back of my hand over my nose. “I got lucky when I caught myself.. I may have cut myself in the process, but it kickstarted something in me said to just keep going.. Even if you didn’t love me back the way that I loved you–or if I wasn’t the best in my career.. So I gave you up, gave up trying to prove myself to everyone–” I take a breath. “And I thought I was over you, for good–until you showed up at the bar the other night and everything came flooding back.”

I reach for my hand and leave a gentle kiss on it. “I took my shot,” I continued. “And I’m glad I did.. I’ve never felt more alive than I do right now.”

I see her own tears so I reach up and swipe my thumb over her cheek, collecting the fallen tears and taking them away.

“I’m okay..” I say. “Because I have you.”

She smiles and brushes my hair back behind my ears. “You will always have me. No matter where you go, I go. I just hope you don’t get annoyed when I follow you so closely that you can feel me in your bones.”

I chuckle and roll my eyes. “I could never get annoyed.”

“Good, because you are stuck with me for eternity–however,” She pats my chest and leans a little ways away. “If you don’t take me out on that boat, then you can forget anything about a happily ever after.”

I snort and squeeze her ass in my hands. “I can take you out on it,” I say. “Pick anywhere in the world, and I’ll take you there.”

“Anywhere?”

I nod my head.

“Can we go to Brazil? I’ve always wanted to go to Rio.”

“We can go there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.. I’d take you anywhere that you desired to go.”

She snuggles back into my body, resting her head on my shoulder. “If you had to pick one spot that you traveled to, where would it be?”

“Greece,” I say with no hesitation. “It’s peaceful there and the waters are beautiful. I met this older woman there, she owned a shop with her husband, he makes hats–made me one,” I rub the pad of my thumb over her knuckles as I continue to tell the story. “The woman, she once asked if I loved anyone and I said yes, and she told me that if the love is real, I should hold tightly to it because soon life will go by and I’ll find myself old and with gray hair wishing for times like this. She told me not to waste a second of it or take it for granted, because we never know what tomorrow will bring.”

“Smart woman.”

“I thought so..” I move to sit up and grab the t-shirt to slip back over her body. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Is your head finally clear?”

I smile and nod my head. “It is..”

After the fire was put out and I had gathered my guitar and notebook, we made our way back upstairs to the bedroom. I curl my body around her and press a delicate kiss to her cheek.

Opening my notebook, I hand it over to Josh. He reads through what I wrote the night prior. I watch as his eyebrows scrunch together as reads through each word. Usually I can decipher what his looks mean, we communicated that way for most of our lives. But today, he’s masking them pretty well.

“Seems rather dark, don’t you think?” He asks as he hands it back.

“Needed to clear my head, so I did. I wrote it all out.”

Josh turns ever so slightly on the couch to face me. “Are you okay?”

I nod my head, a smile spreading across my face. His face contorts, matching mine. “I am okay.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re in lo-o-o-ove!” He sings out. I roll my eyes and he laughs. “I’m so happy for you, and I am ecstatic that you’re finally with her. Don’t get me wrong, I thought she and Sam were cute, but–you and Thea have an epic love thing going on.”

“You’re such a dork.” I say, shoving him over.

He laughs and shoves me back. “I really am rooting for the two of you,” He says. “Especially after all you went through.. I want this for you–I want her for you.” He picks up the notebook again and reads over the words written on the page. “Still a bit dark but I think I can make something out of this. We could make it a bit more uplifting with the music side of it.”

“You honestly think we could use it?” I ask.

He nods his head. “I think we can.”

The door to the recording room opens and Sam steps through with Danny. “Woah, you two are here early.” He says. I quickly grab the notebook from Josh and close it before stuffing into my bag.

–

Coming home and parking the car in the driveway, I see Thea’s car parked there too. I breathe a sigh of relief and content before turning off the engine and going inside. She appears in the foyer from the kitchen, a smile spreading across her face. I smile back and stretch out my arms.

Hold me. Please just hold me. I plead within my head.

“How was your day?” She asks as she wraps her arms around my torso.

“It was good, actually..” I say, looking down into her smiling eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah..”

Thea smiles as she reaches up on her tiptoes and presses a kiss to my lips. Soon our kissing turned into a make out right there in the middle of the foyer. My hands roam underneath her shirt, holding tightly to her waist and pulling her in closer to me. Eventually we pulled away breathless, our foreheads pressed together.

“How was your day?” I managed to ask in between breaths.

“Could’ve been better. Sat in a meeting all day going over statistics and how we as a team can improve the company–basically all the boring Corporate America bullshit..”

Letting out a chuckle, I kiss her again. I pull away and bring her into the living room. “I want to let you know that the band has a few shows coming up,” I say as I go over to the drink cart and pour us a couple drinks. Turning back to the couch, I go ahead and sit down beside her where she’s perched on her knees with her elbow propped up on the back of the couch.

“So soon?”

I nod my head, handing her one of the drinks. “Apparently it was scheduled while I was away.”

“Are you ready to jump back into doing shows?”

I shrug my shoulders. “But it’s something I have to do..”

“Yes, but.. You still have a say in it–especially if you’re not ready to go back yet.”

“I know but… I’d be the only one not wanting to do the shows.. I can’t do that to them. Sam and Danny have been itching to get back out there and Josh, try as he might saying that he’s enjoyed the time off from the band, I know he misses it–I can feel it.”

I can see her nod her head in agreement beside as she lifts the glass to her lips to take a drink. “Then if this is going to happen–which it seems that it is, I’ll be there with you, for all of it.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. I feel her open her mouth again but shuts it before pulling it away and taking another drink. I had the urge to ask her, but I knew not to push it so I let the silence linger as we finished our drinks.

It wasn’t until after going through more whiskey and wine that I had her spread out on my bed, begging for me to let her cum. “Jake, please!” She cries, tugging harshly on my hair and clenching her thighs tightly around my head. “I can’t.. Hold it..”

“Yes you can.” I taunt before pulling my tongue. Pulling her knees from around my head, I lean back on my own. Grabbing her legs, I pull her to me, resting her along my lap. My fingers are still wet with her slick so I plunge them back inside of her, rubbing circles into her walls and dragging my fingers in and out.

Her arms fall outwards on either side of her, her hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets. Her back arches off the bed as her mouth falls open. The most obscene and pornographic moan emits from her mouth as her eyes squeeze shut and her knuckles turn white from tightening her grip.

“Jake!” She cries. “Please!”

Her walls clench around my fingers, signaling her impending orgasm. I think I’ve held her off long enough. “Okay, baby..” I say.

Just as the tidal waves crash against the shore, her orgasm crashes right into her and she’s soaking my hand and the bed sheets.

After cleaning her up, I get her into a warm bath. Her fingers trace lightly over my bare skin. I nuzzle the back of her ear with my nose and kiss her skin.

The thoughts settle back into my brain. The doubts, the wrong feelings. What if she doesn’t love me like I love her? What if she still loves Sam? Does Sam still love her? Am I doing the right thing? Is this right?

What if we rushed into this too fast? There was no first date. There was no me picking her up at her place, knocking on her door and taking her out to dinner. No.. I brought her back to my place and fucked her on my boat. No.. I didn’t fuck her, I made love to her. Passionate love. Love that I have been dying to give her, to shower her with.

Maybe I should do this the right way. Pump the brakes, just a little, and start from the beginning. I should ask to take her out, on a proper date. Buy her flowers and knock on her door. I should take her to a nice place, with a romantic feel to it. And then maybe bring her back here and make love to her.

No, stop it, Jacob. This isn’t about sex. This is about love. Loving her the right way. Loving her with all of me, my heart, my head, not my dick–which seems to be growing impossibly hard from the feeling of her ass pressing against it. Fuck, no.. Not right now.

“Thea?” I find myself blurting out. She hummed in acknowledgement and intertwined our hands together. “I think we need to talk..” I can feel her body tense so I lay a gentle kiss on her shoulder. “It’s nothing bad, I promise..”

“Okay..” She visibly sighs with a shaky breath. “What should we talk about?”

“Us..”

“Of course..”

I inhale and release my breath before continuing with the conversation. “I think we should hit the brakes for a minute,” Once again her body tenses. “I only say that because–and maybe I’m the only one–I think we jumped into this so quickly..”

“What are you saying?” She slowly turned in the tub so her body faced me.

“I would like to ask you out.. On a proper date..” I watch her as she nods her head before I continue. “I want to buy you flowers, and pick you up at your apartment. I want to take you to dinner.”

“So in other words, you want to slow it down just a little and just..date.” I nod my head. I can see the gears rotating in her head before she nods briefly, a small smile appearing on her face. “I would love that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” She says. “But if you’re gonna buy me flowers, they have to be daisies.”

“Daisies, huh?”

“Yes, they’re my favorite.”

“Daisies it is then.”

_______________________________________________________

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