#what are you fucking onnnnnnnnn

[mamawasatesttube]

saw someone being wrong about kon on the internet again (i know. shocking) and you are all so lucky i'm sick and feverish and lazy because i DID just seriously entertain the thought of writing up a small essay complete with issue and panel citations about why it's simply incorrect to say that kon never really seemed to reciprocate any sort of crush on tim before geoff/tt03. this is just not true. you dont have to actually ship them but to downplay their importance to each other even in the earliest days is simply incorrect. i'm too tired and achy to bother digging through comics to pull up all the issues that have the bits i want to point at but like... they were both very mutually important to each other from early on. it was in no way shape or form one-sided, whether you want to read that as platonic or romantic. man.

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

being a stem girlie is so fucking stupid its got me doing shit like looking at my calculator and being like hmmmmmm should i bring this home with me for winter break…. 🤔🤔🤔

[infizero]

noelle is literallyyyyyy just a girl like shes just a girl and all this shit is happening slash has happened to her CAN SHE CATCH A FUCKING BREAKKKKKKK

[hinderr]

Friendly reminder that din's covert isnt. A cult. Like. Come on guys we've been through this before

[devilishdelights]

Just a vent in the tags 😭😭 sorry

[sleepygaymerdisease]

i hate you rng i hate you

[foxdrabbles]

Closure: "Did we just become best friends!?" Glaucus: *groan*

Closure: hey

glcs: no

Closure: oh come onnnnnnnnnn you don't even know what I'm gonna ask

glcs: so you are gonna ask for something

Closure: haha very funny.

Closure: listen I need you to test the drones we salvaged last week, I finally got them running again and I wanna see if the new shielding is gonna hold up

glcs: it won't

Closure: you don't know that!

glcs: i do

Closure: come onnnnnnnnn you're the only one with an emp gun on this landship

Closure: tell you want if you come help me with this I can cut you a deal on the next shipment of special supplies

-- message could not be sent --

No1Vamp: you blocked me????

glcs: yes

No1Vamp: ok first of all I'm your boss you can't do that

No1Vamp: second of all you literally shouldn't be able to do that I'm an admin account

No1Vamp: unless you ip blocked me somehow? but that's not information you should have access to

-- message cannot be sent --

prts_ada: glaucus what the hell did you do

prts_ada: seriously you should not be able to do this

glcs: why can't I block this account

prts_ada: HA

prts_ada: root user bitch

prts_ada: now tell me what the fuck you're doing

glcs: if I tell you will you leave me alone

prts_ada: how about this

prts_ada: if you tell me how you blocked me and come help me with these drones I won't report you to ascalon as the biggest security risk since yours truly

glcs: fine

prts_ada: thank you! meet me in training room 5 in 20 minutes

[altschmerzes]

God yes like what I wouldn’t give for more ACTUAL unlikely alliances. There’s so many cool dynamics they could use but they always go with romance and it’s so BORING. Give me more “these two people hate each other but they have to work together and while they may grow to respect one another they still don’t like each other because they’re two fundamentally different people” and “these two people would have never interacted if not for these specific circumstances but they actually have so much in common and they end up becoming found family” and the juicer shit like “these two people have wronged each other in the past but now they have to work together and then they end up getting along really well but they don’t become friends because they cant forgive each other” like come on there’s so many more interesting things they could be doing but it’s always strangers to lovers or enemies to lovers

IT JUST KILLS ME bc there's all these what would be fascinating character dynamics that summaries/dust jackets/posts about books refer to but you KNOW because of. the way that All Of The Everything is, that they're just trying to be coy or cute or whatever referring to 'oh and the love interest is here :)' 'and this is the love interest guuyyyyyyys' which is like. fine, whatever, okay, i get a lot of people like that and that's fine, but it's to the point that like. when i'm trying to find a book to read and the summary makes a reference to two characters 'meeting' or 'growing closer' or 'causing complications' or literally anything i'm like. oh, great, okay, so most or all of the significant emotionally-driven character interaction in this book is gonna be building this romance, then, great, awesome. count me the fuck out then. but can you be honest about it at least lmao. 'unexpected ally' 'unlikely alliance' just say they're gonna date and move onnnnnnnnn.

[painsandconfusion]

Intermission

Showstopper - Part Six

(tw: torture mention, medical whump, drugging, noncon touch, yandere whumper, delirium, creepy / intimate whumper, kidnapping, noncon kiss, a lot of pain)

[Previous | Masterpost | Next]

Pain.

Darian wished he could be cool and start off with a dramatic, badass-sounding intro line like ‘He awoke to pain. An old, familiar friend.’

But they weren’t old friends. They weren’t friends at all and it wasn’t familiar.

It was just pain.

Air wheezed out of him as he processed the inferno that wrapped his body. Skin and flesh shredded from their places and screaming agonies at his blurred and distant mind.

He shifted a little, heart pounding against his skull as he registered just how thirsty he was.

“Oh-! Hey, there you are. Thought I’d lost you or something.”

..not a welcome voice.

Darian grimaced, head rolling away from the sound- then wheezing as Calyx’ weight shifted on the bed, disturbing the delicate balance of agony and consciousness.

“Awh, don’t pull away from me – it’s not like you can, anyway.” A hand combed through Darian’s hair. Calyx chimed a soft giggle, amused as Darian’s neck mindlessly stretched to chase that touch – the only sensation that wasn’t bringing pain. “Awwww~! You’re adorable.”

Darian half-scowled, head turning away again as a kiss pressed to his nose.

“Come onnnnnnnnn~ I saved your life – aren’t you at least a little grateful?”

Darian’s throat was rasped with dehydration and unuse, but he crackled out the whisper anyway. “y-ou..y ou hhurt me-“

Calyx snorted a laugh, ruffling Darian’s hair. “I mean duh. What did you think I was gonna do? I’m gonna go ahead and blame the sheer patheticness of that sentence on the drugs, mkay? No judgment from me, nope nope.”

Darian grimaced, eyes cracking open in a groggy scowl at Calyx. “..wh’ day’s it?”

Calyx hummed, checking their phone. “Thursday. You’ve been out for likeeeeeeee thirty something hours.”

Darian’s eyes strained down over his body. Covered in bandages and smelling like medicine. “..h-ow did y-..”

Calyx shrugged. “Patched you up enough you wouldn’t die on me and gave you a blood transfusion. I avoided doing any major damage, so you should heal up in a couple weeks.”

Darian frowned, looking over Calyx. “..wh’….are you doing-?”

Brow raise. “…what, with you?”

..small hum of confirmation.

Calyx shrugged. “Just keeping you, that’s all. Obviously couldn’t let you keep living, and…wasn’t ready to let you go. So.” They took a moment to nitpick at the way Darian’s hair laid, brushing it from his brow. “Found a middle ground. You like it?”

Darian’s face twitched away from Calyx. “N-o I don’t ffucking like this-“

Calyx blinked a tight smile.

Then something cold and sharp pricked against Darian’s aching throat.

“You sure you don’t like this alternative? Because I can always skip back to plan A.”

Darian froze, swallowing against the cool blade. “..I-ll ma nage-“

“Good.” The knife pulled away, and a kiss pressed to his cheek.

Darian was quiet for a long few moments, just...trying to focus on Calyx’ fingers in his hair. “..why d’ you like me-?”

Calyx shrugged, fingers drifting down now to trace the lines of Darian’s face. “You see me. You actually appreciate my work. Anddddddd I’m bored. Good enough answer for you?”

He did his best not to twitch under the little touches. “..did..y…..the video..-“

“Mm. Mhm. Sent it to your team. Saw on the news they think you’re dead. There’s like a candlelight vigil thing for you this Friday in the park. Isn’t that sweet?”

Darian twitched a frown, eyes sliding away. “..s-ure.”

“I’d totally go, but I feel like it’d be rude to leave you alone during your own not-funeral, y’know? We can have a movie night or something instead.”

…Darian….had no idea what to say to that. So he said nothing at all.

A small part of him was screaming for him to run. To lash out and hit Calyx. To sprint from the room or strangle them.

..the rest of him was too fucking tired to even get through considering that idea. He’d probably pass out if he tried to stand, anyway.

Aaaaaand Calyx was back to playing with his hair. …no – braiding it now. Their little fingers were twisting it out as long as possible to tangle a small cornrow from the corner of his forehead. Keeping their hands busy, he supposed.

“..c-an I…..get some water-?”

“Mm-! Right right right, you’re probably dehydrated as fuck, one sec-“ Calyx stood, crossing out of the room.

Darian stared after them, then finally let his eyes roam the space.

…queen sized bed. Not a spare room – this one was littered in things. Piles of clothes that weren’t put away. A few articles that had missed the toss to the hamper. Pictures tacked on the wall. Pocket change and trinkets drizzled over the dresser. This was Calyx’ room.

Whichhhhhh meant they probably slept next to Darion last night.

..and would continue to.

Greatttttttt-

His eyes snapped back up to the doorframe as Calyx reentered, holding up a clear water bottle with a straw. “Got it – think you can sit up?”

Darian half scowled at them, shifting up and shoving his elbows under his weight to scoot b-

…

Darian winced and twitched away from whatever was patting at his cheek.

“There you are.” He could fucking hear the grin in Calyx’ voice. “Guess the answer to that was ‘no’, huh?”

Darian grimaced, head rolling away. “a-ns’r to wha-?”

“Whether or not you can sit up.” Something poked at his lips, drawing a flinch. “..it’s just a straw, you’re fine. It’s water. Undrugged and everything.”

Darian wanted so badly to give him some shit line like ‘that’s what you said last time’, but not only would that make Darian look even dumber, he had no choice here. His throat was practically sticking to itself with every swallow – he needed water and it wasn’t going to come from anywhere else.

So. Reluctantly. He let his lips close around it, sucking down greedy mouthfuls of the fresh, cool liquid. A half panic surged through his mind, mouth chasing the straw as it withdrew.

“Hey- chill out, there’s gonna be more. You’ll make yourself sick drinking it that fast.”

Darian scowled, letting his head flop back against the pillow.

Calyx perched on the edge of the bed again after they set the bottle down. Their arm propped up on the other side of Darian, leaning over him. “Are you mad at me~?” Pouting.

Darian’s head twisted further from him. “N-o shit.”

Calyx cooed a sorrowful sound, fingertips ghosting over Darian’s lips. “I’ll make it up to you~! You’ll see. You’re going to love being mine.”

[Previous | Masterpost | Next]

(tags: @prisonerwhump @whumpawink @mabledonut @happy-little-sadist @paleassprince @distinctlywhumpthing @wibbly-wobbly-whump @batfacedliar-yetagain @suspicious-whumping-egg @wormwriting @villainsvictim @throwawaywhumper @wild-selenite-caffine @whumpasaurus101 @thecitythatdoesntsleep @whumpworld @whumpberry-cookie @a-galactic-fox @shywhumpauthor @hold-back-on-the-comfort @veyroswin @suffering-and-misery @whump-queen @a-whumped-tea @scribbelle @sunshiline-writes @scp-1296 @salomeslashes @ha-ha-one) 

[anotherblblog]

I just saw some spoilers about the MBM Eternal movie. Didn’t expect to literally hear Kiyoi moaning while being fucked by Hira in a tub. They went wild for this movie. Lmao

Utsukushii Kare Season 2 set up all it needed to show me how into their sex life Kiyoi is. From the first episode alone we get these gems:

"oh you wanted to be alone with me"

with that smile and that bright expectant face! come onnnnnnnnn

Hira: *tells Kiyoi how into him he is in his own Hira way* Kiyoi: "fuck me please"

so yes when I watched that bathtub scene, I was more surprised by Hira taking control and telling Kiyoi what to do while Kiyoi blushed and tried to demure away but Hira was like nahhhhhh he picked up from his s2e4 self and didn't hold back at all

Hira is a Kiyoi-fucking tornado and Kiyoi loves it and wants it and needs it.

Kiyoi changed his whole opinion on baths versus showers based on what Hira did to him in that tub lmaooooooo

to quote iamperez: THEY ARE FUCKING EACH OTHER!

there are truly only 2.5 high heat scenes in that nearly two hour movie so there's mostly career plot and kidnapping and Hira being insecure going on but when Riku and Yusei showed up on set for those days of filming the NC scenes, yes anon, they did go wild

[mrs-monaghan]

speaking of this, i don't know if anyone has mentioned this but in ITS 2 when Jimin was telling how JK snores, i think he was actually telling a little exaggerated version of JK's orgasms.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Are you telling me JK sounds like a man getting stabbed by 5 knives when he's cumming? Holy shit anon, even the pathetic porn actors sound nothing like that. Hold on, I gotta listen to Jimin one more time.

Anon i know u said an exaggerated version but come onnnnnnnnn JK does not sound like this during sex

I'm even offended on his behalf help 😭😭😭😭😭

[starwalker03]

Do you have any WMLP time travel aus where Wally and Dick get sent in time together?

not really tbh. I mostly imagine the whole team getting sent back in some capacity. whether it's all at the same time or one at a time.

I did have the thought of the past team appearing with their future selves, tho. and Dick and Wally have to deal with their teenage baby heroes and they are just. so tired about it. Rose is having a great time making fun. Wintergreen is taking the opportunity to cook way more stuff because now people will eat it before it goes bad (Wally has a speedster's stomach after all)

Dick and Wally like 'this is not a good thing please stop'. Wintergreen and Rose like 'what do you mean this is the best thing to happen since Slade died'

meanwhile robin smol and wally smol and just standing there like 'what the fuck is going onnnnnnnnn'

[sheinthatfandom]

Just listened to episode 8 and OH MY GOD!!!!

Just…. Omg!!!!!

And fucking Alex is a lying liar who lies!!!

Spoilers mostly me yelling

OH MY GOD!!!!!!

The vast? Spiral? The strangers? The flesh? Wtaf are you??!!!

Wait could it also be lonely cause he’s alone in a fake crowd with no real faces or conversations or even a real place?

He’s missing parts of himself, Martin what has happened to you baby?

COLIN!!!!!!!!! Where are youuuuuu!!!

GERRY!!!!! My darling lovely goth boy

GERTRUDE!!!!!!!!!

Wtaf is going onnnnnnnnn

And then Celia wanting stuff about time travel and dimensions and ahhhhhhhhh

And Gerry is so cute and wonderful and I’m gonna cryyyyyy

GEORGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[incarnateirony]

...oh my god she even took me/his/our Rumpocky thing my ex has zero original thoughts.

My ex wife makes shitty website for pagan services

Pretends she was the hermes follower instead of her previous Shaman Schtick or occasional claims at Athena following.

Steals my hermes quotes, makes it her whole brand, something she never even heard from her magical friends

I. Can. Not. I literally have "rumpocky" on a 2007 LJ post and this bitch branded herself. bitch do you UNDERSTAND *WHY* it was rumpocky? Are you??? STEALING??? A MEDIUMSHIP STORY????????????????????????? ARE YOU THAT BORING?

HER ART?? HER CHARACTERS?? HER BRAND??? IS THERE ANYTHING SHE HASN'T KNOCKED OFF FROM ME?????????????????????? SIS YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME, YOU MADE YOUR BED, NOW LAY IN IT.

you dUMb CUnt

d u m b c u n t doesn't understand why even rumpocky those years ago and truly oh my god [facepalm] she really is just sitting there roleplaying every echo of my life, get therapy.

STOP STEALING MY SHIT YOU MORON

"the rumpocky pagan" oh my god the insufferability she literally can't even -- YOU REALIZE IT'S NOT A FASCINATION WITH RUMPOCKY ITSELF AS MUCH AS EXCLUSIVE SEASONALITY AND GETTING STUCK ON THE ONE MISSES THE POINT?

YOU REALIZE THAT WAS A SPECIFIC CONVERSATION HE HAD WITH A SPECIFIC PERSON, RIGHT. ABOUT A CERTAIN EVENT AND TIME HE HAPPENED TO BE DOING MINUTES BEFORE, AND NOT A LIFELONG DEDICATION, YOU HACK.

YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME OR HIM OR ANY OF US YET!!! **I'M THE ONE THAT TOLD YOU ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND YOU ASSIGNED IT ARBITRARY VALUE YOU ABSOLUTE FRAUD**

The Rumpocky Pagan. Jesus, just admit you have nothing. He's. Not. With. You. No. Matter. What. You. Play. Neither is She. They haven't been for a long time. And you know it. Charging people out the nose for you badly miming my shadow is truly lowbrow though.

Watch the bitch be arguing in her head "well he takes it and likes it" yeah and he also takes and eats fried crickets on sticks, what the fuck about it. But that'd require him being there, and not you pretending to hide the dreams you know you're having and what they mean to wave and perform for your friends. Or maybe even to self soothe. But it isn't working, is it?

Hey, sweets.

Driving in reverse.

In five years this bitch'll be rebranding to Thee Crustdaddy Pagan or maybe The Incarnate Irony Pagan, maybe with some more stolen logo/character design.

Take the cue on why your art muse walked out the door two years ago, you had nothing but mirror mandalas, art that diminished to fractions of its previous quality, generally had to give up on your stores for it, and could only draw when you were ripping off my shit. It's a muse. You chased yours out. Everything else since is theater.

Move onnnnnnnnn bitch. You wanted me out, so stop trying to bring parts of me in.

My ass out here having to innocently kick rocks when a [redacted] agent is asking how tf I got involved in Some Shit and this bitch can't even figure out her pagan brand name without stealing my shit jesus FUCK yea nbd just disposing of this [other redacted] grade object like a nuclear hazard at sea after [damages removed] [deathcount censored] and a few weeks fuck all chaos, but this bitch is like mmmmmmmm Aaron told me a story about hermes and rumpocky once, that qualifies me as a follower that can charge people money for services lololol

Go back to arguing with ghosts in Alabama.

Damn, wish I'd put something of the bitch's in the final yeeted form too, it worked pretty damn well to yeet jarpad and his fans out of cons.

like Hermes' gramma says, if you're going to throw a box into the sun, you're going to have to do it yourself.

You know she's saying follower of Hermes but I bet you, she couldn't tell you a single axiom of tehuti or a single classic greek tradition or hymn or any of the neoplatonic branches associated with him literally all she has is psychotically larping him off of what she knows from me for others while stealing my shit and hoping nobody notices. while. she. charges. them. she's never studied a goddamn thing about him, and I goddamn know this. I was her pipeline of information or books or references or resources or whatever the fuck and she never once fuckin. even read the kybalion. She doesn't even know the alchemical steps. None of it. God. Dis bitch about to google it all now to update her LARP. Has she brainwashed her pals so bad they had a collective stroke and forgot I was the alchemist, and she constantly ranted that she was a shaman and totally different from my shit?

"durhur crowzzzz" like congratulations you know how to spell his name on wiki search and probably watched a video about Tricksters. Ffs. Start at Liber XXX, bitch, it's Morality For The Average Man. Try it. Start there. You might actually learn something that means something.

You would think even if she pretends to outsiders she isn't dealing with what she is since then. That after she made public that she got tricked by the world's most basic bitch cryptoscammer scheme into losing all their savings, that maybe the god of commerce, communication/internet, trickery and thieves is like. The opposite of in your favor giving you secrets.

Weird how that worked out, isn't it, sweetie? But I mean if you can't even think up a brand name without ripping my shit about him, how can I expect you to hear some godly warning transmission that bitch, you're fucking dumb as a brick, don't give him your login, you absolute mudbrain.

Boy am I glad I caught the vibe from him these last few years and just stopped giving her anything about him even before the split. Like no, no I wasn't projecting, he went out the door and took the art, success, and protection in transactions and life with him and with me and she still can't cope with that, huh

You know, before we left Alabama, Hermes expressed he was concerned with her habit of wanting to hide behind other identities and not own her own. I didn't understand then what he meant. Now I get it. Jesus.

And yknow what bitch. He said it to you, even back then. Stop playing. Either move on or fess up. You will never replace that shit. Stop with the bad echoes.

[harryfeatgaga]

sorry it’s long but basically this Melbourne girl (woahkate) kept making tweets shitting on Harry’s outfits and songs and saying you don’t have to be up his ass blah blah and people were like? Why are you a fan then (meanwhile she was seeing him all this week while shitting on him)…then once again making up lies about how Americans were mad at the leave America shit so people were calling her out and she just kept provoking and provoking. Saying she’d say all this shit to Harry’s face, and “nobody gets Australia humor” when she was just being an asshole to Harry. Like that’s not humor😭and then her weird Aussie friends got involved which opened a whole new can of worms and they were just being nasty to Harry and being nasty to everyone defending him. THEN she goes well Harry saw my tits in 2014 so I win, and someone resurfaced her old tweets of her bragging she flashed him🥴 so then people were like oh now you’re bragging about sexual harassment nice! And she freaked out saying how dare you accuse me of that you’re crossing the line I was sa’d once I can’t believe you would say that and people were like babe….flashing someone is literal sexual harassment in the fucking court of law nobody is taking it too far just stating facts🤷‍♀️ and the fact it was a 1d concert aka full of minors you’re a creep! She was basically using the fact that she flashed him as a flex think she was superior😭 and all her friends were like “there just jealous Harry was an adult blah blah” basically excusing public indecency because Harry was an adult?….then people found out she was a larrie….also found out the friends defending her said the N word multiple times and were racist so moral of the story they got run off of Twitter😭😭 and the Australians were like “I’m so disgusted she’s being bullied just because she said you don’t have to like every thing Harry does” and it’s like no babe she’s being bullied for starting unnecessary fights and bragging about harassment. Any fan the voluntarily tweets shit about Harry is just starting a war so idk she chose that🤷‍♀️ if you search her name everything comes up but these Australians are genuinely fucking losers

HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?!? HELLOOOO!??!?!?!? WHAT IN THE FUCK GOES ONNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 214

The Sign of Three

Here it isssss, nearly a week late (oops). The eighth episode of Sherlock. It’s only right to watch it today after buying the manga version of The Great Game

“The Sign of Three”

Plot Description: Sherlock tries to give the perfect best man speech at John’s wedding when he suddenly realizes a murder is about to take place

Gregory is BIG MAD about some crime family always getting away from Scotland Yard

And Sherlock ruined his big arrest by being bad at speech writing

(What if it didn’t take me three hours to watch this episode? WHAT IF I FREE MYSELF OF THAT TONIGHT??)

Mmmmm the foreshadowing of Sherlock leaving John’s wedding early.

That was a nice bit of staging. Sherlock bringing taking his tux to get on and saying “to battle” and cutting to…who I think was John’s superior officer in the Army, iirc

(See, it took almost nine whole minutes for my first pause)

I remember liking the one bridesmaid, Janine. She’s fun. And she is a good balance for Sherlock’s seriousness

Sherlock’s REALLY overstepping boundaries preparing for this episode. And he is…questionable with kids. Like this kid thinks he’s cool but maybe we shouldn’t be letting kids see ACTUAL beheadings. Just a thought

The JEALOUSY pouring out of a Sherlock, but at least Mary’s having a good time. And good for her, it’s her wedding day

It’s just….this phone call between the Holmes brothers. Sherlock is trying to force things to stay the same as much as he can, but Mycroft knows better. He knows things change when people get married. But Sherlock is either hopeful or delusional in his stubbornness. It’s hard to watch

Not the Redbeard mentionnnnnn

God…I could go for a steak right now…

Oh geez. Sherlock’s not too good with sentiment and expressing it…or even reading aloud other people’s affection and well wishes for the couple

All these years and Sherlock still doesn’t know Greg’s name.

And John’s not too good at expressing affection, particularly in the form of asking his best friend to be his best man…especially when Sherlock doesn’t seem to get the hint…at all

It is a nice speech, though

Ugh…the way they’re practically treating him like a child. Fuck. I hate this.

Isn’t this case the one where the weapon is thought to be or actually is an icicle??

Omg no. It was funnier. Molly’s boyfriend thought it was a weapon fashioned of compounded flesh and bone…like some sort of…meat dagger. Which I suppose is better than Lestrade’s “we’re looking for [someone with dwarfism].” MAYBE??

Wait, HE didn’t solve it either?? Oh. Because it’s gonna be tied to someone trying to murder Major Sholto

I remember people RAVING about the “obvious bi lighting” during John’s stag night…………….actually that’s real

They’re so stupid.

Omg… she…she was in a show with Andrew Scott. I watched a LOT of kind of bad stuff just to see him back in the day. I think her character dated Andrew’s character

Can she not tell they’re drunk af??? “He’s clueing for looks” like…COME ONNNNNNNNN

Ew I hate how loud the eye blinking noises are here. You didn’t need to do that.

Mrs Hudson is so precious. She’s trying so hard to prepare these two for the changes that WILL happen once John gets married. But she’s also so funny because you really do think she’s just this sweet old lady who has never done anything wrong or wild in her life and yet she was married to a guy who ran a drug cartel

Ohhhhhh the one lady who was tricked by the dude assuming the identities of recently deceased guys to use their apartments to have sex (which is a really weird crime, sure). But she’s a lil kinky and thinks his ploy is clever. I LOVE her. Ok but like…LET HER SPEAK!! She’s got her head right about her ideal man

Honestly I would have absolutely wanted someone to say they could go on about the depth and complexity of my sweaters back in 2014

Omg that kid just 100% earned his headless nun pics.

Oh yeah, Mary’s not gonna miss out on either saving Major Sholto’s life or solving his murder even on her wedding day. Again, good for her

“You are not a puzzle solver, you’re a drama queen” I forgot how funny that line was…yeah. So someone stabbed the major some hours ago but his belt kept him from feeling it and also kept the blood compressed in his body, I GUESS

DO they solve who it was??

So here’s the thing about Janine. She’s so normal (compared to everyone else in this show) and she’s really just here for a good time. She finds Sherlock interesting and funny but she’s not besotted like John or Molly or Irene

Ok. Looking back, the photographer was a bit of an obvious answer…but still. Pretty good solve

He played (and possibly wrote) the song they did their first dance to???? 🥹 but then he still leaves early 🥺 partly because he realizes they don’t need him around since he deduced Mary’s pregnant