#what is the ship name between pearl and amethyst.

[treetrunk737464]

I have not drawn my space rock lesbians in so long I’m sorry I’ve forsaken you

[prince-liest]

I like the name staticradio/radiostatic for Vox and Alastor ship, but I think I'm the only one that wants it to be called electrojazz 😢😭

Hazbin Hotel is like 50% of the way to my ideal naming scheme for ship names, which is to say, I love fandoms where each ship name is just something that is inspired by the characters but with no consistency between characters or ships. Hazbin Hotel has achieved this partially by assigning inspired words to each character, but fallen through by maintaining something resembling sane consistency.

What I am saying is that I think we should bring back Danny Phantom fandom naming schemes. Amethyst Ocean. The specific difference indicated by using pompous pep vs badger cereal. The absolute deranged insanity that was "swagger bishie" as a ship name. Fucking. Pitch Pearl, because the Onceler fandom was dormant inside of us all along.

Either that or we all regress to Katekyo Hitman Reborn! where everybody is assigned a number and the ship tags look like fucking bank safe codes. Consistency is okay with that one because the baseline naming scheme achieved a baseline level of "why" that excuses them.

Tl;dr: Same, anon. Same. But for all the wrong reasons.

[stardusted-bookworm]

Amber and Pearls

It was a quiet wedding. Not just because of preference, but out of necessity. After all, it was hard to have a large wedding when one of the grooms was a war criminal and the other liked to commit "treasonous acts" in the name of dismantling a corrupt system.

So they had to turn down their blue tiefling friend's ideas for a lavish wedding on Rumblecusp. Had to gently decline the many opinions for over the top venues and decorations.

They had considered the offer their captain friend had provided. Of using his ship in the middle of the ocean where none could reach them easily. But the threat of Uk'otoa remained, leaving the ocean more unsafe than the land.

They had decided on the Blooming Grove, but the halfling complained. "You can't have a wedding in a graveyard," she said. "It's too dreary."

The amber haired groom only smiled, not telling her that graves and dreariness were companions the grooms knew well.

Then, the groom with stars for hair and amethysts for eyes said, "What of the Tower?"

There was a moment of silence before squeals of delight and cheers of approval pierced the night air. The amber haired groom smiled as warmly as his favored element and kissed his starlight fiance under the diamond-covered heavens.

It didn't take long after for the wedding to be planned. When the venue was the product of two imaginative minds… no, it didn't take long to plan at all.

The long anticipated night had finally come and the Tower looked resplendent. Amber and diamonds and amethysts covered the walls, glittering as the dancing lights illuminated them.

The starlight groom made well on his description as he entered the Tower from a door created especially for him.

A dress of delicate lace hugged his form and left his shoulders exposed. A gorgeous train of the same material but more sheer trailed behind him as he walked. The sleeves were long and came to rest in loops around his middle fingers. Amber jewels hung from his ears, matching the ring that would soon adorn his finger. Elegant white heels adorned his feet as he walked, yes walked, up the stairs to the dais. He fidgeted with his bouquet of yellow tulips and baby's breath and waited anxiously.

Finally, finally, his groom of amber and fire walked up the stairs on the opposite side: Fjord, Beauregard, and Veth following close behind him.

Essek's breath caught in his throat. Caleb was in a suit of deep, deep red and his hair was pulled back into a braided half-bun. Caleb's hands were covered in black gloves as they flexed nervously by his side. Essek couldn't help but chuckle at how clean his soon-to-be husband looked even as his heart fluttered restlessly in his chest.

A large hand came to gently rest on Essek's shoulder. Yasha smiled reassuringly as Jester linked elbows with him. He took a steadying breath and handed his bouquet to Yasha before allowing Jester to lead him to where Caduceus stood.

Veth was doing the same for Caleb and once they reached the center of the dais, Jester and Veth joined Essek's and Caleb's hands.

"Take care of my boy, Essek Thelyss." Veth's voice wavered, and it was all Essek could do to not wrap his arms around her.

Essek bowed his head. "You have my solemn vow, Mrs. Brenatto." His voice was thick with tears.

Caleb squeezed his hand, the warmth of his fingers felt even through the gloves. Essek squeezed back with a watery smile.

They approached Caduceus together.

The firbolg gazed down at them with a peaceful smile. "Well this is really nice."

Chuckles were heard around the room at that.

"Dearly beloved," Caduceus began, "We are gathered here today to honor the union between these two beautiful souls under the ceremony of marriage. May we have the rings please?"

A beautiful Bengal cat walked up to Caduceus, a black velvet pillow balancing on its tail.

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Frumpkin." Caduceus bent down and picked the two rings off of the pillow.

Frumpkin nuzzled Caleb and Essek before going to stand next to Beauregard.

Caduceus handed the amber ring to Caleb and the pearl ring to Essek.

"Do you, Caleb Widogast, promise to love this drow for as long as you may live, through sickness and in health and in unspeakable dangers?"

Caleb chuckled, his eyes glittering as they met Essek's. "I do."

The wizard of amber and fire gently took his groom's hand and slid the glittering amber ring onto his finger.

"And do you, Essek Thelyss, promise to love this man for as long as the stars glitter in the skies and until the Luxon itself blinks out of existence?"

Caleb looked at him with wide eyes.

Essek smiled. He had specifically requested these words be said because he knew that only the truth would ring from his mouth as he said, "I do."

He slid the pearl ring onto Caleb's finger. Elation filled Essek's chest as he reverently lifted his partner's hands to his lips.

"Aww that was sweet." Caduceus grinned gently and spread his arms wide. "By the power of the Wildmother, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss the groom."

Essek threw his arms around Caleb's neck and kissed him soundly, grinning as Caleb dipped him slightly.

The Nein cheered loudly and proudly around them. Essek's heart was filled to the brim; he couldn't be happier.

As he kissed his husband—his husband—Essek felt his feet lift off the ground and the two wizards spiraled upward through the magic of the Tower.

Essek laughed in childish delight. He stared adoringly at his husband.

"I love you, Caleb Widogast."

Caleb grinned wide even as his gorgeous blue eyes filled with tears.

"I love you, Essek Thelyss."

The wizards joined together once more in a beautiful kiss, surrounded by friends and family and most importantly, love.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 3: Here Comes a New Challenger (originally posted on September 11, 2023)

AN: Buckle up ladies, gentlemen and every other gender in-between, we finally go back to Steven as he reaches Serpentes and comes face to face with King Cobralan, who I argue might be just as much Steven's opposite as Black Rutile was. Though unlike Black Rutile who wears how much of a sociopath she is on her sleeve and is not ashamed to show it, Cobralan is a pretty okay guy who has a very strange view on morality where anyone who doesn't like what he does can take a hike unless he can convince them otherwise. The Jormagundr royal family will all be very interesting characters for me to write, so I don't want to waste your time any longer.

Synopsis: Steven, Connie, Greg, Black Rutile, and Ronaldo finally reach Serpentes, where Steven is welcomed by the royal family.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, The Black Pearl Brigade

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Grace Rolek as Connie

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constricta Jormagundr

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Cissy Jones as Princess Naja Jormagundr

Henry Rollins as Captain Boa

Keith David as Pyth

Neil Flynn as Aescul

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond

John Moschitta Jr. as Bialyoom Milamin

Stephanie Escajeda as Meinerr

Nicole Sullivan as Sylvia Spectre

Kari Wahlgren as Envyrno

Featuring JP Karliak as S-L1M3

Dominic Armato as Captain Gearfeet

Wally Wingert as Rigby Starglow

Britt Baron as Michelle Angelon

Julissa Aguirre as Lady Imagineer

Rob Paulsen as Monty the Moarchean

Steven Blum as Deputy Edward

Beau Billingslea as Sheriff Spiegel

Christopher Lloyd as Batsputin Vosania

Anna Akana as Dionna of the Sands

Peter Stormare as Reximillian

Elizabeth Maxwell as Vigrid

James Earl Jones as Wobbla the Butt

Barrett Wilbert Weed as Ezlipsia

And Anthony Stewart Head as Solaris Noctua

--

"Well, here we are on the Slytherophidian home planet of Serpentes!" Aescul exclaimed as his ship returned home at last and landed in Alethinophidia. "Ah, it's good to be back home after so many years. Now watch your step as you get out, everybody."

"Wow, I haven't been on an alien planet in this long." Connie gasped in amazement as she took in the sights and sounds of Serpentes. "This is the place where they took the Gems, right?"

"Seems like it," Steven answered as he followed Connie out of Aescul's ship. "I thought Ronaldo was just talking crazy when he said the Slytherophidians existed, but I never realized they were real all along."

"Finally!" Ronaldo cried as he burst from the spaceship and began harassing Slytherophidians for their knowledge. "Excuse me, sir, do you have any holidays you celebrate on your planet?" The snake awkwardly slithered away in response. "Okay, I'll ask you later." Ronaldo then walked over to another snake. "What kind of food do you eat here?" The snake slithered away as well. "Hm, tough crowd."

"Okay big guy, now that we're here, I think it's about time we see your boss," Greg said to Aescul as the two walked out of Aescul's ship. "The Crystal Gems are getting us real worried, and I do not want to see any of them losing a head or two. Then again, they can just walk it off."

"Don't worry, everyone will know he's here," Aescul assured Greg as Steven quickly became surrounded by Slytherophidians wanting to meet him. "See what I mean?"

"Uh, hello everybody." Steven nervously said to the Slytherophidians surrounding him. "My name's Steven Universe. Nice to meet you all."

"Oh my gosh, it's Steven!" a young female Slytherophidian squealed eagerly. "Sign my face, please!"

"Hey now, no need to get too obsessed over me, I'm just here to get my friends back." Steven laughed. "The last time I discovered my fans, they chased me all around the country."

"Is that Steven Universe I see?!" Pyth asked as he arrived on the scene and gently pushed his king's subjects out of the way. "Greetings my boy, I am the royal advisor Pyth and I'm here on behalf of his royal highness Cobralan Jormagundr to collect you and bring you to him. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fight for survival in the Ouraborium if you want your friends back."

"Wait, fight for survival? You mean you want me to kill people in this world?" Steven gasped in surprise before being wrapped in Pyth's tail and taken away.

"Unfortunately for you, yes," Pyth explained. "More will be revealed once you meet our ruler." He then turned to look back at Greg, Connie, Ronaldo, and Lion. "And take those four along with him and throw them with the other competitors."

"Wait, you want us to fight too?" Greg asked before the three humans were seized by the royal guards. "But we're just puny, squishy Earthlings, we'll all die in there!"

"That's the idea," Pyth replied with a villainous sneer as he turned back to Steven, who was looking at him with a face full of worry and suspicion.

"Looks like our new arrival is gathering quite a crowd." King Cobralan said as he watched the commotion with Captain Boa from above. "As expected for the legendary Steven Universe."

"My enforcers tell me that Pyth should be here momentarily with Mr. Universe." Boa calmly stated. "Plus, his plus-ones shall be sentenced to the Ouraborium until further notice."

"All I needed to hear, Captain. You are dismissed." Cobralan stated and commanded Boa to leave before taking a glass of Slytherophidian alcohol and taking a sip before Steven was escorted into his quarters. "Steven Universe, we meet at last! Apologies for the way I had to get your attention, but I know you love those Gems so much!"

"Enough with the pleasantries, just give me my friends back and leave my planet alone!" Steven abruptly yelled at Cobralan, shocking the king of the snake people at how curt his guest was.

"Wow, I'd thought you'd be way nicer than that," Cobralan said before offering his drinking glass to Steven. "You look stressed. Care for a drink? Finest snake oil on the planet, aged to perfection."

"Sorry, I'm not a drinker." Steven turned down the offer. "I just want to get in, get my friends back, and get out. That's all I want."

"All you want?" Cobralan asked before sitting Steven down at a bar and ordering his servant to pour another glass of snake oil. "Well, what are you willing to do for it?"

"What do I want to do for it?" Steven muttered before he heard music playing. "Wait, are you going to do what I think you're doing?"

"Right here, right now, come on, just hear me out. I don't wanna strike you down, I hope you come in peace." Cobralan began singing to convince Steven. "You fight for me, and I'll set your friends free. Out of the carnage and the violence they're trapped in." The bartender serving as the king's backup passed Steven a glass of snake oil. "Just trade your life so peaceful, for something more colorful. If you think it's crazy, well sometimes, crazy works. You can play it normal, you king of traditional. Or you can risk your life and see!"

"Don't you want to get away, from the boring life you live every day? Because I have just what you need, so come with me and you shall see!" Cobralan exclaimed as he slithered on the walls and spun around a flagpole. "All you need to do is fight for me! I'll let you do as you do, or you can do it like me. Fight in my games and I'll surely give you the key. Oh dang, the audience will be filled with glee! All you have to do is fight for me!"

"Thank you, but no, I don't want in on your show. I hate to tell you, but I'm not the killing type." Steven objected to Cobralan's offer while pushing the glass away. "Thank you, but no, just let all of my friends go. I don't want to slaughter just for the hype. I'm not sure if I like you, and this whole show you do. Without violence, you're nothing. Yes, you're nothing." Cobralan wasn't sure if he should be offended by the remark or impressed at Steven's audacity. "But I just want to live in peace, and not covered in grease. What would make me reconsider you?"

The servant quickly took the glass away as Steven continued singing. "Don't you think I'll be okay, with murdering innocents every day? I still got what I need, count me out of your crew. I would never fight for you!" Cobralan started nodding along to the song while banging the floor with his tail to the beat. "But you can still do as you do, just do not involve me. Just let my friends go, I don't even need a key! I am rubber and what you say won't stick to me like glue. What makes you think I'll fight for you?"

"Now, is this how you'd prefer to spend your days," Cobralan asked with a scaly arm on Steven's shoulder while Boa played the piano in the background. "With songs and ice cream and playing it safe?"

"If I were joining you, people would never let me live it down," Steven responded. "Disgraced and regretful, with a big ol' frown."

"But you'd finally see my point now, stop with that furrowed brow. Sometimes, fighting's the only thing we need." Cobralan replied while twisting Steven's mouth into a smile with his hands. "I'll finally wake you up, and stop your heart from breaking. Keep that little organ from aching." Putting his hands away, Cobralan turned around and stood back-to-back with Steven to await his answer. "Now, is my deal a little worth taking? I guess I'll leave it up to you."

"The answer is still no." Steven firmly declared, much to Cobralan's anger.

"No? NO?!" Cobralan asked, furious at the rejection while baring his fangs to intimidate Steven with. "I put on this whole song and dance number for you, and you still refuse?!" His face then perked up. "Oh wait, you must be joking! Well, don't make me laugh!"

"Your offer's intriguing, but I don't know how it would cost me." Steven began singing again. "I'll do whatever you want, just as long as you set everyone free."

"Oh, fair enough. I can free you from the action." Cobralan replied. "Just name your price, we can shake and make it happen."

"I wasn't born this morning, do whatever I think is fine." Steven declared while crossing his arms.

"Okay, just tell me already!" Cobralan urged his guest.

"Fine, I'll fight for you." Steven caved into Cobralan's requests, much to the snake king's delight.

"I knew you'd come through." Cobralan smiled happily before the two shook hands and became a duet.

"Don't you want to get away, from the boring life you live every day?" the half-Gem and the Slytherophidian king began singing in harmony. "Because I have just what you need, so come with me and you shall see! All you/I need to do is fight for me/you!"

"I'll let you do as you do, or you can do it like me." The two continued as the song reached a bombastic conclusion. "I have to fight for you! All I have to do is fight for you!"

"Wow, you're a surprisingly good singer," Steven said to Cobralan.

"Why thank you, I'm classically trained by my servants," Cobralan replied before summoning more guards with a clap of his hands. "Guards, bring Steven to his friends at the Ouraborium! And try not to be too rough on him, he's going through a lot right now."

"Okay guys, do your worst," Steven said as the snake guards took him away from Cobralan while he wondered just what went through the alien king cobra's head. He seemed nice on the surface, but he also forced species from across the stars to fight in his twisted gladiator games. Was Cobralan truly evil, or was Steven simply misunderstanding this new alien race and their morality? That would have to wait as Steven would soon be reunited with the Crystal Gems in time to fight in the Contest of Champions.

--

"Steven!" the Crystal Gems, Greg, Connie, and Ronaldo all cried out as Steven was thrown into the dungeon with the other competitors in the Contest of Champions, after which he was greeted with a big group hug.

"We're so glad you came for us!" Pearl exclaimed as she hugged Steven the tightest out of everybody in the dungeon.

"Yeah, really wish there was a better way to celebrate your birthday, little man." Amethyst laughed nervously before the hug dispersed.

"It's great that you came to rescue us, Steven," Garnet said with a smile before looking at Black Rutile, who was sulking in the background with her back against the wall. "Now what's she doing here?"

"Oh yeah, funny story," Steven said with a blush. "Black Rutile crashed on Earth at the same time I came back to Beach City because her team was abducted by the Slytherophidians, and now we've been forced to team up against a common enemy to save our friends."

"WHAT?!" the Gems all shouted in alarm at the idea that Steven would team up with someone like Black Rutile.

"Why are you so shocked? Half of you tried to kill him at some point in his life." Black Rutile deadpanned. "But yes, we had no choice but to align our interests to combat our new enemy and return everyone to Earth. Unfortunately," she shot Ronaldo a disdainful glare. "We picked up an unwanted passenger along the way."

"Hey, I volunteered on this adventure!" Ronaldo shouted, utterly offended.

"But in the meantime, while we wait for our turn to fight for our lives, allow me to introduce to you the other competitors." Black Rutile turned to face the many colorful characters forced to join the violence. "These are all the other individuals abducted by the royal family to fight in their games from across the universe. And I must say, this is a very stacked roster."

"Oh, saints be praised, I thought I was going to be dragged out to fight for a second!" a grasshopper-like alien gasped in delight as he skittered towards Steven to greet him. "Hello, my name's Monty! I'm a Moarchean from the planet Caelifera. Pleased to meet you, little one."

"Nice to meet you too," Steven replied to Monty while shaking his foreleg. "Who are the rest of these guys?"

"Oh, I believe we can help with that," Cap said before walking over to Sheriff Spiegel. "These are Sheriff Spiegel and Deputy Edward from Sergione-29."

"Howdy." Edward tipped his hat to Steven.

"These are Sylvia Spectre and Envyrno, who we fought before." Tails introduced the Coalition of Galaxies officer and the Magman mercenary next.

"Hello, Crystal Gems." Sylvia waved to the Gems, trying her best to keep a polite smile on her face.

"Oh great, their friends." Envyrno rolled her eyes.

"'Ello, I'm Rigby Starglow, I'm the biggest rock star in the universe." Rigby Starglow introduced himself with one flashy pose after another, making Greg think of the rock stars of his youth. "I got kidnapped here on my way to my next show."

"Call me Captain Gearfeet, mighty pirate and the third most feared pirate in the seven galaxies!" the cyborg Captain Gearfeet declared. "My crew and I accidentally raided a Slytherophidian ship, and I sacrificed myself to make sure they all got away."

"Call me Earthos, and the big guy above me is the Decimator," Earthos stated. "We fought your friends before you got here." The Decimator growled while nodding in agreement.

"You may call me S-L1M3." A cybernetic blob creature introduced himself. "My species has dedicated itself to self-improvement since the day we emerged from the primordial soup thanks to our advanced technology."

"I am Michelle Angelon." A figuratively and literally angelic-looking young woman with large white wings sprouting from her back added. "I am but a humble angel forced against my will to fight in such sinful battles while being separated from my home planet."

"And I'm Lady Imagineer." A jester-like humanoid stated as she took a break from her imaginary flute playing to meet Steven. "I can make your dreams into reality."

"They have abducted the Metals as well, but unfortunately, they're elsewhere in this arena." Black Rutile revealed just as Bialyoom and Meinerr entered the dungeon. "Oh, a servant. Let's make this quick, I don't tip the waiter."

"Ah, you-must-be-Steven-Universe!" Bialyoom greeted Steven. "It's-a-pleasure-to-meet-you-young-man. Here, my-card." He then lent his business card to Steven. "Here-in-this-arena, you'll-be-fighting-for-survival-against-a-variety-of-opponents-from-across-the-universe, and-your-reputation-means-everything-in-here-too."

"Hey, you kind of sound like that fast-talking guy from those old toy commercials." Greg pointed out Bialyoom's voice.

"Please, he's-nowhere-near-as-fast-as-I-am!" Bialyoom bragged.

"Now that you are here Steven, you will be pitted against your first opponent," Meinerr said while looking at her tablet. "And it shall be Miss Sylvia Spectre."

"Wait, me?!" Sylvia yelped in surprise as the guards grabbed her by the arms and dragged her away, while another pair did the same to Steven.

"Wait, I have to fight and kill people here?!" Steven cried before being separated from the Crystal Gems yet again.

"Them's the rules, my boy, whether you like it or not." Meinerr bluntly replied.

--

"And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for!" Naja announced to the excited fans of the Contest of Champions. "In this corner, all the way from planet Earth, is the one, the only, Steven Universe!" The audience began cheering as Steven was shoved out into the arena. "And in this corner, representing the Coalition of Galaxies, one of the last survivors of Invisibo-9, the illuminating invisible icon of justice, Sylvia Spectre!"

The crowd continued getting excited as Sylvia Spectre appeared from thin air, ready for a fight. "Now then, are you ready for some MORTAL COMBAT?!" Naja continued yelling, causing the crowd to cheer louder than ever. "That's what I like to hear! Heaven or hell, let's rock!"

As soon as the bell rang, Sylvia charged towards Steven and landed a furious punch to his face that sent him flying into a nearby wall. Although Steven was able to summon his shield to protect himself, Sylvia barely gave him any chances to fight back. "What's the big idea? I know we have no choice but to fight, but why are you so violent?!"

"It's because of you and your kind!" Sylvia declared while delivering a roundhouse kick to Steven's hip, causing the boy to fall over and run. "The Black Pearls may have taught me that you're not all bad and I took it to heart, even helping them a few times, but that doesn't mean I'll ever forgive you Diamonds for taking away my home and my family!"

"Oh, she just had to go there." Yellow Diamond groaned in disgust.

"Listen, I understand what you've been through, but revenge will only get you nowhere but down!" Steven said as he began throwing some punches of his own, but Sylvia was far faster. "Didn't the Black Pearls also teach you this?"

"Yes, but you think that simply forgiving the Diamonds and having them apologize will make everything better!" Sylvia said before trying to deliver a strong uppercut, but Steven dodged before her hit could connect. "And what's more, there are still Gems out there who refuse to accept what you've done!"

"Yeah, I know, I've dealt with them before!" Steven replied, utterly frustrated with Sylvia's anger before summoning his shield again and tossing it at her face. What he didn't realize however was that he was slowly starting to glow pink.

"And look at them, still running around because you think we should give peace to terrorists a chance!" Sylvia exclaimed, gesturing to Black Rutile and her rebels watching from afar, eager to see Steven be given the judgment he deserved and possibly killed too. "In my line of work, I've had to fight and defeat people who are no better than you are!"

"SHUT UP!" Steven burst into a pink-colored fit of rage and initiated a nonstop assault on Sylvia, managing to see right through her powers and attack every possible weakpoint she had. When Sylvia eventually lay beaten and bruised on the ground, Steven finally returned to his senses and realized what he had done before the audience started cheering.

"FINISH HER! FINISH HER! FINISH HER!" the crowd of Slytherophidians cheered as Steven looked around the arena at the audience urging him to land the killing blow. Although Sylvia was very harsh in her critiques of his worldview, Steven couldn't help but feel sorry for her because of how her prejudice was rooted in tragedy.

"No!" Steven firmly declared to the spectators. "I will never take a life for your amusement!" Everyone started gasping, and then they started booing Steven as he helped Sylvia up.

"Well, he's dead," Monty said flatly.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened just now, it's just my powers that make me go crazy when I'm under extreme stress." Steven apologized to the Invisibon heroine. "I've been trying real hard to keep them under control, so please don't hold this against me."

"Wow, you really aren't anything like the Diamonds." Sylvia wheezed in surprise. "At least they're willing to admit their mistakes."

"Hey, hold on a minute," Steven said before he licked his hand and slapped his saliva-covered palm on Sylvia's injured wrist, making her cringe in disgust before the spit suddenly healed all her wounds. "There, all better!"

"You can do that?" Sylvia gasped in wonder at Steven's abilities. "Please, tell me more of what you can do!"

"I'll talk later." Steven replied. "But right now, I'm sure certain people have some choice words for me."

--

"WHAT-WERE-YOU-THINKING?!" Bialyoom shrieked angrily once Steven returned from his fight. "The-Crystal-Gems-sparing-their-opponents-was-embarassing-enough, but-you-had-the-power-to-kill-Sylvia-Spectre-right-then-and-there! There-are-three-ways-to-win. One, you-knock-your-opponent-out. Two, the-opponent-quits, and-shouts-'Uncle!' Three, you-kill-them-right-on-the-spot!"

"I know the rules, but you should know that Sylvia here lost her family years ago." Steven objected. "She was so lost and angry at Gems for destroying her home, that she decided to take her anger out on me even though she learned Gems aren't all bad."

"We're very proud of you for sticking to your morals, Steven." Blue Diamond sighed in relief, prompting Sylvia to give the Diamonds the stink-eye before Steven calmed her down.

"Oh, she's got a temper." White Diamond declared with a joking smirk.

"So what do we do now?" White Topaz asked. "Are we just gonna keep killing people until they let us go?"

"I guess we have no other choice." Yellow folded her arms in acceptance. "Steven, you tried convincing the king to let us go, correct?"

"Yeah, but he got really mad that I didn't like his way of thinking while we were singing together," Steven replied. "I just want to know what goes on in that head of his. Does he have some kind of generational trauma he doesn't want to talk about?"

"Steven, you know not everything can be solved by talking to people." Black Rutile crossly said to her archnemesis. "Oh forget it, I'm too good for all of you anyways." She then turned around and stormed off. "Call me when one of you dies looking like a total fool or something!"

"Are you sure she's teamed up with you to save us?" Blue asked Steven.

"I'm sure, but I can't help but feel she probably has some kind of ulterior motive," Steven replied as Black Rutile retreated into the shadows.

--

"What's taking everyone so long?" Cobralan muttered to himself while pacing around his throne room and looking at his watch. "They should've been here in time for the opening ceremonies, but they're running late!"

"Don't worry my darling, they never once refused to come to the Contest." Constricta tried easing her husband's worries. "Why should they do so now?"

"Your Majesty, the other Universal Lords are here." Captain Boa stated as he slithered into the room with Dionna of the Sands, Batsputin Vosania, Reximillian, Vigrid, Wobbla the Butt, Ezlipsia, and even the long-retired Solaris Noctua behind him.

"Sorry, we were so late, Cobralan." Solaris apologized on behalf of his former fellow Universal Lords. "Space traffic was an utter nightmare."

"We've heard word that you have captured a vast assortment of Gems to compete this year," Vigrid stated. "Could we perhaps get a look at them?"

"Wait a second everyone, you all just got here!" Cobralan laughed. "Why not stay a little and I can treat you all to lunch? You must be starving after the long trip here!"

"Well, I am awfully famished," Dionna replied while stroking her stomach. "What have you got to eat?"

"That reminds me, where is Nosiop right now?" Batsputin asked, trying to listen out for Nosiop with his massive ears.

"No dice, everyone." Constricta replied. "He's been missing ever since the games began."

"I'm sure he'll come up at some point." Wobbla said with a loud, disgusting laugh.

"Ugh, charming as always, Wobbla." Ezlipsia groaned in irritation while using her parasol to protect herself from Wobbla's gross bodily fluids.

"Oh come now, let's have some fun this year!" Reximillian exclaimed as the Universal Lords prepared to sit down to lunch. But little did they know that Nosiop was still involved with the Contest of Champions, and he was going to make his presence known in a big way.

--

"I could've had a worthy ally in Spectre, but of course, Steven had to mess everything up with his dumb talk-no-jutsu or whatever!" Black Rutile grumbled as she walked deeper into the arena, not realizing how far she had gotten until it was too late. "What the? Where am I?"

"You must be Black Rutile, correct?" the voice of Prince Nosiop asked for Black Rutile as he and Pyth emerged from the shadows.

"Of course I am," Black Rutile answered while cautiously drawing her bowie knife. "What's it to you?"

"We've heard you also desired to upend your people's current status quo and turn them into what you think they should be." Pyth declared with a sneer.

"Wouldn't you know it, I think the same way," Nosiop said as he took Black Rutile's hand. "Come with me. We need to talk."

--

Now that Steven and Black Rutile are finally on Serpentes, things can really get going as dark secrets of the Slytherophidians and their connections to the Gems are unveiled while the Crystal Gems fight for survival in the Contest of Champions. But what does Nosiop have planned for Black Rutile, you may ask? You'll have to find out next time on Steven Universe: Snake Eyes!

[funky-lady]

Boatem’s Special Brand of Insanity

The Boatem Crew Boards The Dream Cruise Ship

Everyone stays silent for a solemn moment, too shocked or shook by what they’ve just learned to think of anything to say.

“So… what does being a voidwalker mean for me?”

“Oh, well, as soon as X, our admin, finds us, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to teach you everything there is to know about voidwalkers.”

“Oh. So you don’t know much about them, then?”

“Well… I think I might have a book or two that do more than only mention them… let’s finish this tour and I’ll drop them off as soon as you get settled.”

Ranboo grins, visibly brightening up from his earlier disapointment. “Thanks. I really appreciate the help.”

“You’re welcome, and even more welcome to Boatem! Come on, let me show you my base!”

As they continue on their way, past the Boatem hole, Phil frowns in concern as he shoots a wary glance in its direction yet again. “Are you sure this is safe?”

“Don’t worry, Phil, the Void – or Boatem, more like – told me it really likes its crew.”

Phil snorts with a shake of his head. “No offense, Ranboo, but I somehow doubt that’s really the case.”

“What? Why? It’s completely safe, right guys?”

Scar gives Phil a roguish grin that’s a bit too chaotic to be reassuring. “Oh absolutely! The danger Boatem Hole could present has been tried and tested with Doc’s help.”

“The test subjects were willing! We at Boatem Inc strive to offer the full peace, love and plants treatment to all customers and employees who are part of the boatem family.”

“Um, yeah, though in some cases that willingness was probably dubious at best…”

The top hat wearing man cuts himself off when Grian clears his throat pointedly.

Phil can’t do anything but stare. How exactly did he become friends with these people again? Ranboo included?!

“Anyways, it was eventually determined to be so completely harmless that we decided to make it a tradition to seal our Boatem Co. meetings with a leap into the void.”

“Mate, that just makes this whole Boatem thing sound worse!”

“Well how else do you suggest we keep it fed?” Grian chimes in with a shit-eating grin.

Hold on a second, did Grian really say–

“Wait, what the hell do you mean by that? You feed it?”

Phil nearly loses it when Grian fucking shrugs, totally unconcerned with the utter bullshit coming out of his mouth. He thought Tubbo’s particular brand of chaos was bad, but now he knows with terrifying certainty that Grian and the bee loving teen would get along like a house on fire.

“Well, yeah, of course. It’s only common sense to give it offerings, after all, so everyone has their own way to contribute to feeding our beloved Boatem. Scar feeds it vex magic, crystals and copper on top of practically volunteering himself to be a daily sacrifice.”

“Grian!” Scar protests half-heartedly.

“What? It only makes sense with the amount of times you’ve died to Boatem already.” Grinning widely, Grian clears his throat. “Anyways, I know Mumbo occasionally feeds it diamonds or even his diamond pickaxe if he’s feeling particularly generous. Pearl has a habit of dying every single time she builds on a big scale, which seems to soothe Boatem’s bloodlust well enough, and Impulse feeds the hole with wither roses, amethyst shards along with the occasional chocolate bar from his factory.”

Phil falters for a moment while he’s moving along with the rest of the group, stepping off the island and onto another bridge.

What?

Just, what?

What in Void’s name– what the hell is this shit? Just how insane are these people he calls his friends?

“What do you do to feed it, Grian?” Phil drawls, unsure if he actually wants to know the answer to that question.

“Oh, me? Well, I used to sacrifice goats to Boatem, and now I organize meetings that always result in a lot of hilarious deaths to the void. It’s all in good fun, really.”

Without hesitation Grian ventures into a tunnel that’s located between two bigger underground hallways that look a lot more decorated and official.

Falling into steps with the other avian, Philza shakes his head in disbelief as he tries to process what he’s been told.

While Phil has been called insane too many times to count, this shit is on a whole other level.

“You guys are completely batshit insane, you know that right?”

Scar and Grian wear matching smirks as they exchange a look that says it all and snort in wry amusement.

“So we’ve been told.”

A/N : I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter!

A/N : a master list of this au/rough timeline can be found here :D

@call-me-dj @the-charlie-dalton

[pitch-pearl-void]

(The borderlands anon from however long ago)

So, I finished watching the show a couple days ago, because there were a couple things that showed up consistently in fics i that I didn’t understand (blood blossoms, some of the baddies, a handful of fenton inventions, etc)

First off, I still very much prefer pitch pearl to amethyst ocean or whatever the hell it’s called

And also, do you know where pitch pearl as a ship came from? I know there’s the episode with fun and super, but is that all there really was? Or were there more early fandom headcannons that supported them as separate beings?

Hello again! Sorry this took so long, I wasn’t sure how to answer 😅

Canon did a poor job with AO. I would even say it did it dirty, but it's popular enough it doesn't need that kind of support lol. If you really want to give it a fair shake I’d recommend reading fanfiction for it, but I understand everyone’s preferences are different. I personally don’t ship it because shipping best friends is something I have real issues with, but it’s not a bad ship if you want something that’s soft and makes you feel all warm inside.

Onto pitch pearl tho!

Tbh, I’m not entirely sure myself how pitch pearl as a ship started. I don’t believe it was because of the Fun and Super episode, largely because those two are rarely used in the ship. 

I asked someone else, and they thought that moment in What You Want when Phantom was first torn from Fenton as this colorless ghost might have been what started the concept they weren’t one whole person. Because, honestly? This ship goes far, FAR back. A lot of the older fics made Phantom into a voice in Danny’s head or a spirit that could separate from him at will without the need of the Ghost Catcher in order to offer Danny comfort. They had no rules because there weren’t any set way yet. The fact that Phantom could move and think independently from Danny was enough to get people thinking. It wasn't all romantic, most of it was borderline at best. They mostly focused on hurt/comfort and self-love, finding a balance between human and ghost with the occasional kiss thrown in.

Then there’s TUE, where Danny meets his evil future self and learns that his ghost half killed his human half after merging with Plasmius. It definitely gave more credence to the idea there might be more to Danny’s ghost half than simply having ghost powers. It aired before Identity Crisis, so it set the stage with a BOOM and had a much bigger impact on the ship. Phantom being seen as his own person is a bit more credible when he’s willing to kill Danny. It helped that TUE was a VERY popular episode. It drew in a huge crowd, and everyone was curious about what made the ghost half snap like that if he’s supposed to be Danny.

Supporting that idea is that a lot of the older art and fics took a darker view of Phantom in general, seeing him as Danny’s darker half or a ghost out for revenge after being imprisoned for so long. Even the name “pitch pearl” was created with that in mind. I always thought of it as “white hair/black hair” in the same vein as AO taking inspiration from Sam’s purple eyes and Danny’s blue, but when I went searching for the origins for the name, the old explanation set Danny Fenton as white pearl and Phantom as pitch black. The reasoning for that was partly their jumpsuits pre- and post- accident, but also because Fenton is human and “pure” while Phantom is a ghost and dangerous--because without Fenton, Phantom became Dan and destroyed everything.

For obvious and somewhat personal reasons, I don’t subscribe to that. But it does make all the art where Phantom looks evil while holding Danny make sense. I don’t like dark romance, and I’m personally thrilled we moved away from such a dark beginning, but it likely had a hand in the early popularity of pitch pearl.

If I were to guess how else it started when the source has them as one person, I would say it was most likely the fanart? Putting Fenton and Phantom side-by-side has a yin-yang appeal, and when they interact in art, you get the sense that these are two characters, not one. This was really popular when the fandom was much bigger than it is now.

For instance

Save Our Soul by nycken isn't a shipping piece by any means, but it could very easily give rise to the idea, especially if someone is new to the fandom.

They did not shy away from it being a self-cest ship back then, though. The idea that Phantom wasn't Danny was there, but I don't think anyone looked for evidence in the show to support it. That seems to be something the ship has evolved into rather than something it started from, and it is honestly my favorite way to see it.

I do have many headcanons about how they aren’t the same person in canon if you're interested! There’s the out of sync transformations, the title sequence and how Super and Fun are shown to separate in the Identity Crisis episode, Vlad’s inability to clone Danny, the way Danny talks to himself, just all kinds of things! If you want to hear more about those I'd be happy to answer 😁 (they'd probably be easier too lol)

But yeah, I think it was TUE and fanart. There may have been other factors (I think this was around the time Yu-Gi-Oh and puzzleshipping was popular too) because fandom doesn't exist in a vacuum, but I really couldn't say for sure. It's a ship that means different things for everyone who ships it. I like the psychological questions when they start off as "one" (the bonded peeps version) and enjoy the aus like soooo much, but others like it only for aus, and others like it as a crack ship, and then there are even others who like it as something dangerous. Some people love it for Fun and Super in Identity Crisis because they're just fun caricatures. It's hard to find the origin point when it has so many branches lol

[permafusion-stevonnie]

So this idea isn’t leaving my head. While I’m not going to get it started for now, since I want to concentrate on my current Stevonnie comic, ideas are still ticking away and I just really wanted to draw this cover for the idea.

Maybe I’ll get its own page started in time. I’ll let you know if I do. But even if I did, I wouldn’t expect regular updates to it, not while I’m working on Together Forever.

I want to quickly say something that I think some people may have gotten confused about when I was talking about the Fallout Universe before:

Crystal Gems are still called Crystal Gems, but their role is similar, but not the same as the Brotherhood of Steel. In that they are isolationists, who will try to protect humanity from dangerous gem technology, and corrupted gems. they aren’t bothered with human mutants, human problems, or human technology. But I feel that, ove time, Steven will help their character growth away from this and help them, at least, start opening up to the local comminuty and helping where they can.

Homeworld Authority is still called Homeworld, or The Authority, but take on a similar role to the Enclave. They view themselves as the rightful masters of earth and they’re automatically more superior to any other lifeform by birthright.

I have been thinking over what could have occurred to create this world, how’s this for a (work in progress) backstory: (ended up a lot longer than I thought it would, so I’m space saving by putting in this break)

The Gem colonisation of earth happened later than it did in canon. A couple of thousand years, maybe. Unlike the 6000 years ago in canon, it was perhaps 5000, or maybe 4000 years ago. Enough for a bigger human civilisation to take part in the gem war for earth.

Pink still gets her colony started, still changes her mind about it, and finally chooses to become Rose Quartz to lead the rebellion. I think the human zoo will still be made, because I like the idea of that being around to give a mash-up of the human zoo and the mother ship zeta dlc from Fallout 3.

What really diverges from the timeline is when the rebellion starts fighting back with larger groups of human allies. 4000 (or 5000) years ago we are talking some good military strategies, chariots, bows and arrows, cavalries and tactics, etc. Some research will be needed to really flesh out the lore.

Homeworld, facing a bigger threat than a hundred or so rebels, puts a little more effort into research and development of newer technologies to counteract the human strategies. Nothing develops technologies quite like war.

Rose and the others start capturing some technologies from Homeworld and start studying them to not only understand them, but even attempting to reverse engineer them. They obviously won’t be able to replicate the weapons in form, but hope to do so in function.

This is where Scribes would come in for the Crystal Gems are the replacement for the Brotherhood of Steel that I’ve talked about before. Some Gems and some clever humans, would dedicate themselves to trying to understand the newer Gem technology they’re starting to see.

With inventive people like Bismuth to build their own version of it.

The actual Gem Technology will be locked away in the temple- or whatever name I may give it- but the remake versions that the Crystal Gems turn out will be spread far and wide.

I’m just thinking off the top of my head, but it’d be like- if they tried to make their own version of the gem destabiliser, it would be like a giant tuning fork hooked up to something similar to a large Baghdad Battery (google it, it’s kinda cool) that they would carry in a backpack.

The war would carry on like that, with Homeworld making new tech to combat the threat, sooner or later the rebellion captures some, they make their own version of it, and Homeworld makes new tech to combat the threat.

This drain on resources does take its toll on Homeworld though, and their war against earth is perhaps much shorter, between 300 and 800 years, I haven’t decided yet.

Things do play out similar to canon though. Homeworld decides to abandon earth as a lost cause, implant the Cluster so they’ll get something out of the deal and the three Diamonds blast the earth with their powers as a final middle finger to the rebels.

Gems are destroyed, except for the original Crystal Gems, and Bismuth! Canon Bismuth made a lot of regular weapons and armour and the rebellion was still losing. She was driven to making the Breaking Point because she didn’t think they had a chance of winning any other way. In this new canon, however, because Bismuth was working on newer and newer weapons all the time, each one she was confident would help turn the tide of the war, she never had chance to work on the ultimate weapon of the Breaking Point. She may have designed it, or may have the idea kicking around the back of her mind, but never got around to building it. 

Rose does her thing of finding somewhere isolated to live in both peace and regret for the war. This is where the Crystal Gems become isolationists

With the Gems gone, humans are left to their own devices with all this more advanced technology than they should have in this point in history. Tech continues to develop with this head start.

Fast forward to the year 1929 and people are living lives as you’d see in the Fallout universe in the 2070′s. Nuclear fulled cars, robot assistants, laser rifles and power armour and all that other stuff.

The reason I chose 1929 is two-fold. The first Fallout game was set 84 years after the nuclear war, and 84 years after 1929 is the year 2013; the year Steven Universe first aired.

The failing of the world is the same reason the Fallout universe failed. Resources started to become scarce, wars started over what remained and the whole thing was escalated by a race that may have been too young to fully understand the forces they were really dealing with, having come a long way, but still too fast, thanks to the ancient interference.

Nuclear hellfire rained down and some people took their shelter in the vaults, while everyone else had to find ways to survive outside.

Rose and the Gems stick to their isolation as humanity all but wipes itself out. Rose is heartbroken to see the beautiful world that she fought so hard for, so easily destroyed. There can be a lot to explore there. Maybe Rose will leave the group, maybe she’ll just wander off and be alone a lot but still return to the temple eventually. I haven’t decided yet.

Perhaps all the gems will have some additional guilt, knowing that their old tech is what pushed humanity so far so fast.

Fast forward 70 years and Rose meets a travelling wastelander named Greg. They fall in love. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail here mostly because I haven’t really thought too much about it, but partly because I know I want it to be explored within the story itself to show how different from canon it would be. Not just the flashback elements from “Story for Steven,” and "We Need to Talk," with a Fallout flair. I want to work out some other nice adventures to bring them together.

Rose and Greg come back to Beach City with Rose expecting their baby.

Steven is born and the Gems immediately take custody, with the logic that their secure base is a better place for Steven to grow up than the harsh wasteland. Greg is allowed to visit as often as he likes, but not stay there. Nor is Steven allowed off the base. They want to protect the legacy of their leader, Rose.

I’m going to say that Steven starts showing hints of Gem powers around 10 years old. Nothing he can control. Perhaps his Gem glows when he’s really happy, if he falls down some steps his bubble forms but immediately pops so it’s just enough to save him from injury. Little things like that.

But this serves as a point where The Gems start “encouraging” Greg to visit less and leave the raising of Steven to them, as his upbringing has now become “Gem Business”

Steven may have snuck off the base once or twice to see the world beyond the base, but after this he’ll do it a lot more often to see his dad and the Beach City settlement.

I think Bismuth suspects he sneaks off but both can’t prove it, and doesn’t want to try and prove it, Garnet knows but says nothing, both of them are letting Steven have his fun, and Pearl has no idea he does it.

Amethyst is not part of the group in the beginning, she’s out as part of a raider gang somewhere. Thank you to theyarheeguy for giving me that idea, and many others, to work with.

A total of 84 years after the bombs dropped, Steven is now 12 years old, sneaking off the base for another visit to town, when he spots a pretty young girl dressed in a strange blue jumpsuit, emerging from a hidden trapdoor that was underneath the old Beach City water-tower.

Steven is 12 because I believe that’s how old he was when the show started. Based on the timeline, the passing of the seasons and so on, he has to have a 13th birthday that we don’t see on screen, before we do see his 14th birthday.

[une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir]

Jon Snow = Rhaegal

This is a sibling post to this. It works precisely in the same way.

When she opened it, she found piles of the finest velvets and damasks   the Free Cities could produce … and resting on top, nestled in the soft cloth, three huge eggs.  (...) One egg was a deep green, with burnished bronze flecks that came and went depending on how Dany turned it.

Hypothesis: Jon Snow = Rhaegal

If Aegon = Viserys, then Jon = Rhaegal.

Other thing to note is the bronze is a metal important in the north, for example the crown of the kings of winter was made of bronze. The egg has a duplicitious nature, things appear and disappear depending on how Danerys looks at it.

The green one shall be Rhaegal, for my valiant brother who died on the green banks of the Trident.

Like Aegon = Viserion post, what Rhaegar die for exactly? Robert’s Rebellion was fuelled by Aerys being a crazy loon, but in specific Rhaegar’s death came at Robert’s hands, who killed him for “kidnapping” Lyanna Stark.

"The Others take your honor!" Robert swore. "What did any Targaryen ever know of honor? Go down into your crypt and ask Lyanna about the dragon's honor!"

"You avenged Lyanna at the Trident," Ned said, halting beside the king. Promise me, Ned, she had whispered.

"That did not bring her back." Robert looked away, off into the grey distance. "The gods be damned. It was a hollow victory they gave me. A crown … it was the girl I prayed them for. Your sister, safe … and mine again, as she was meant to be. I ask you, Ned, what good is it to wear a crown? The gods mock the prayers of kings and cowherds alike."

(his face... HIS FACE...)

Like Aegon = Viserion post, all these aspects are also present in House of Undying visions.

three fires must you light . . . one for life and one for death and one to love (...) Viserys screamed as the molten gold ran down his cheeks and filled his mouth. A tall lord with copper skin and silver-gold hair stood beneath the banner of a fiery stallion, a burning city behind him. Rubies flew like drops of blood from the chest of a dying prince, and he sank to his knees in the water and with his last breath murmured a woman's name. . . three treasons will you know . . . once for blood and once for gold and once for love . . .(...) Her silver was trotting through the grass, to a darkling stream beneath a sea of stars. A corpse stood at the prow of a ship,  eyes bright in his dead face, grey lips smiling sadly. A blue flower  grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness. .  . . mother of dragons, bride of fire . . .

There’s the love of a woman, since Rhaegar dies whispering a woman’s name, then there’s the result of that love, Jon represented as a blue flower (Lyanna’s favourite) on the Wall (where he spends most of the narrative. Fits.

Considering the trichotomy Rhaegar / Rhaegal / Jon applies to the third stanza of the first and the third groups, it’s natural to apply it to the second stanza, so somehow must fit, so in the end we have. “three fires must you light . . . (...) one to love (...) Rubies flew like drops of blood from the chest of a dying prince, and he sank to his knees in the water and with his last breath murmured a woman's name. . . “ and “three mounts must you ride (...) one to love (...) From a smoking tower, a great stone beast took wing, breathing shadow fire. . . (...) and “three treasons will you know . . . once for gold (...) A blue flower  grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness. . ."

Applying the same logic to the trichotomy Viserys / Viserion / Aegon, we then have. “three fires must you light . . . (...) one for death (...) A tall lord with copper skin and silver-gold hair stood beneath the banner of a fiery stallion, a burning city behind him.“ and “three mounts must you ride (...) one to dread (...) A cloth dragon swayed on poles amidst a cheering crowd. (...) and “three treasons will you know . . . once for gold (...) A corpse stood at the prow of a ship, eyes bright in his dead face, grey lips smiling sadly."

Like Aegon = Viserion post, I said the conclusion of all that Viserys being crowned with a “golden crown” by Drogo, Viserion named after him, and Aegon echoing in that specific’s dragon subtext was Danerys feels betrayed by Aegon crowning himself king of the Iron Throne, then she burns King’s Landing as a response.

Similarly, the conclusion for all this Rhaegar dying for the woman he loved, Rhaegal being named after him, and Jon echoing in that specific’s dragon subtext is Danerys is betrayed by Jon loving another. In the show, Jon Snow loved his sisters, that’s why he betrayed her and killed her. So... it fits, though the types of love aren’t the same. *shifts eyes*

It’s worth noting that applying this logic to the first stanza of the three groups, we get Danerys / Drogon. Three heads has the dragon.

----

What else? All of Rhaegal’s mentions are listed below... and some of them fit what we saw in the show.

A CLASH OF KINGS

The green one shall be Rhaegal, for my valiant brother who died on the green banks of the Trident. 

We all know Rhaegar’s story. In broad strokes, he was “born in grief” while others died around him, something happened as a young child which made him decide to become a warrior despite not being fit for it, he’s melancholy by nature and goes to Harrenhal to brood, is fond of wearing black to battle, he’s in love with a Stark (in Jon’s case, only platonically, *suuure... rolls eyes*) and let hundreds die for her sake, etc etc. Like Viserys isn’t Aegon, Rhaegar isn’t Jon... but you know..

"Your hair is coming back, Khaleesi," Jhiqui said as she scraped sand off her back.(...) Dothraki men wore their hair in long oiled braids, and cut them only when defeated. Perhaps I should do the same, she thought, to remind them that Drogo's strength lives within me now. Khal Drogo had died with his hair uncut, a boast few men could make.

Across the tent, Rhaegal unfolded green wings to flap and flutter a half foot before thumping to the carpet. When he landed, his tail lashed back and forth in fury, and he raised his head and screamed. If I had wings, I would want to fly too, Dany thought. The Targaryens of old had ridden upon dragonback when they went to war. (ACOK ~ Danerys I)

Danerys thinking of her defeated hair and of Drogo’s undefeated hair, followed by Rhaegal screaming and Targaryens fighting in wars, suggests Danerys will be defeated by Jon but not in battle. This is what happened in the show, Jon defeated Danerys but not in battle. Some thing between Rhaegal and a braid had already been alluded to in AGOT (see at the very end of this post).

"Then I grieve for you, Dragonmother, and for bleeding Westeros, bereft of its rightful king."

Beneath Dany's gentle fingers, green Rhaegal stared at the stranger with eyes of molten gold. When his mouth opened, his teeth gleamed like black needles. (ACOK ~ Danerys II)

The (ship!) captain laments Viserys’ death, who was the rightful king of Westeros, then Rhaegal basically bares his teeth like a dog or... a wolf.. ready to attack. I once thought this was just a pun on Jon being the rightful king of Westeros, but it might be the case that Danerys kills Aegon, who’s the rightful king of Westeros, with Jon taking offence on his behalf.

It’s also worth noting Danerys is being “nice” to Rhaegal as she’s touching him with “gentle fingers”, while he’s the one being aggressive and baring his teeth. We’ll see this pattern of her being nice and soft with him (except for ONE notable occasion), but he’s always a bitch to her, many times.

"A dream delayed, no more." Dany's tight silver collar was chafing against her throat. She unfastened it and flung it aside. The collar was set with an enchanted amethyst that Xaro swore would ward her against all poisons. The Pureborn were notorious for offering poisoned wine to those they thought dangerous, but they had not given Dany so much as a cup of water. They never saw me for a queen, she thought bitterly. I was only an afternoon's amusement, a horse girl with a curious pet.

Rhaegal hissed and dug sharp black claws into her bare shoulder as Dany stretched out a hand for the wine. Wincing, she shifted him to her other shoulder, where he could claw her gown instead of her skin. She was garbed after the Qartheen fashion. Xaro had warned her that the Enthroned would never listen to a Dothraki, so she had taken care to go before them in flowing green samite with one breast bared, silvered sandals on her feet, with a belt of black-and-white pearls about her waist. For all the help they offered, I could have gone naked. Perhaps I should have. She drank deep. (ACOK ~ Danerys III)

Like in Aegon = Viserys, where the talk of poison was mentioned, here it shows up once more (it will appear one more time). I do think this is plenty of suggestion that someone from #TeamAegon is most likely going to attempt to poison Danerys, just like Varys tried in the show.

Danerys realises they never saw her as queen, just an amusement with a curious pet, which is followed by Rhaegal hurting her by sinking his claws into her skin. The subtext is interesting, because the former is what political!Jon was based on (Jon never seeing Danerys as worthy of being queen, but using her for the dragons), while the latter is basically what happened in the show (Jon killed Danerys with a knife). Some malicious stabbing is definetly occuring, whether she dies or not... maybe. I’m still holding on to my girl Arya to come through.

Also worth noting, there’s a whole description of Qartheen fashion of one bared breast, but she thinks she might have gone naked instead. In the show, Danerys is delusional enough to try to rekindle her relationship with Jon after blowing up KL and he entertained it to distract her, before stabbing her. Then I remember Littlefinger’s quote "When you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, the best thing to do is close your eyes and get on with it. (...) Waiting won't make the maid any prettier. Kiss her and be done with it. (...) A steel kiss." I didn’t think that Danita begging for her nephew’s cock while he kills her couldn’t be topped, but doing it while thinking they’ll do the nasty...

I have become the most splendid beggar in the world, but a beggar all the same. She hated it, as her brother must have. (....) I have something Viserys never had. I have the dragons. The dragons are all the difference.

She stroked Rhaegal. The green dragon closed his teeth around the meat of her hand and nipped hard. (...) Aggo guarded on her other side, while Rakharo rode behind the procession, watching the faces in the crowd for any sign of danger. Ser Jorah she had left behind today, to guard her other dragons; the exile knight had been opposed to this folly from the start. He distrusts everyone, she reflected, and perhaps for good reason.

As Dany lifted her goblet to drink, Rhaegal sniffed at the wine and drew his head back, hissing. "Your dragon has a good nose." Xaro wiped his lips. "The wine is ordinary. It is said that across the Jade Sea they make a golden vintage so fine that one sip makes all other wines taste like vinegar. Let us take my pleasure barge and go in search of it, you and I.”

"The Arbor makes the best wine in the world," Dany declared. Lord Redwyne had fought for her father against the Usurper, she remembered, one of the few to remain true to the last. Will he fight for me as well?  (...) I mean to sail to Westeros, and drink the wine of vengeance from the skull of the Usurper." She scratched Rhaegal under one eye, and his jade-green wings unfolded for a moment, stirring the still air in the palanquin.

A single perfect tear ran down the cheek of Xaro Xhoan Daxos. "Will nothing turn you from this madness?"

Danerys thinks of how she’s superior to Viserys, she has dragons while he has not, followed by Rhaegal attacking her. It happens once more a few paragraphs down. Danerys says she will kill the usurper and Rhaegal is basically raising his hackles. Again, the subtext of Danerys killing Aegon because she doesn’t think he’s a real dragon like she is, but then Jon taking offence on his behalf and attacking her shows up.

Interestingly, in the same segment Danerys thinks how Viserys was known as the beggar king, but as we also know from the Aegon = Viserion post, Viserion does what Viserys could not, Viserys begged (even though he said the dragon doesn’t beg) while Aegon refuses to beg for Danerys’ help (” Why should I go running to my aunt as if I were a beggar?”) and goes on his own.

Also interestingly, after Rhaegal attacks Danerys, she looks outside to watch her bloodriders protecting her and thinking Jorah distrusts everyone with good reason. But Rhaegal is inside of her palanquin with her, the bloodriders won’t protect her against the dragon. In the show, Jon was allowed inside the Red Keep past her Unsullied / Dothraki guards, then attacked her.

There’s also yet another mentioned of foul wine. Danerys’ was almost killed in AGOT with poisoned wine. In the show, Varys tried to kill her with poisoned wine (which was one of his suggestions when Robert was brainstorming how to get rid of her). She mentions the Redwynes and what loyalty they have. At this point, Redwynes are Tyrell loyal.

In the show, Varys backs Danerys (instead of Aegon) and Oleanna (who is a Redwyne!) allies with Danerys to get revenge on Cersei (in theory, she has Aegon’s role). Whatever conodrum D&D made to compensate for Aegon being slashed off, we have elements in common here. Varys (#TeamAegon) and poison as well as wine and the Redwynes (in specific, Oleanna).

Drogon was curled up beneath her arm, as hot as a stone that has soaked all day in the blazing sun. Rhaegal and Viserion were fighting over a scrap of meat,  buffeting each other with their wings as smoke hissed from their  nostrils. (ACOK ~ Danerys III)  

Like said in Aegon = Viserion post, Aegon and Jon, fighting over something (most likely north versus south). This happens while Drogon (Danerys) soaks beneath the sun (Slaver’s  Bay, Volantis, you know beyond the narrow sea). Speculation for book only, most likely Jon and Aegon will naturally clash in TWOW / ADOS, while Danerys is terrorising elsewhere.

A STORM OF SWORDS

Viserion's scales were the color of fresh cream, his horns, wing bones, and spinal crest a dark gold that flashed bright as metal in the sun. Rhaegal was made of the green of summer and the bronze of fall. They soared above the ships in wide circles, higher and higher, each trying to climb above the other.

Dragons always preferred to attack from above, Dany had learned. Should either get between the other and the sun, he would fold his wings and dive screaming, and they would tumble from the sky locked together in a tangled scaly ball, jaws snapping and tails lashing. The first time they had done it, she feared that they meant to kill each other, but it was only sport. No sooner would they splash into the sea than they would break apart and rise again, shrieking and hissing, the salt water steaming off them as their wings clawed at the air. Drogon was aloft as well, though not in sight; he would be miles ahead, or miles behind, hunting. (ASOS ~ Danerys I)

Same sentiment as above. Aegon and Jon fight each other, with the added bonus that it isn’t very serious (or not “permanent” enemies), while Danerys is doing something else elsewhere.

Rhaegal and Viserion were the size of small dogs, Drogon only a  little larger, and any dog would have out-weighed them; they were all  wings and neck and tail, lighter than they looked. And so Daenerys  Targaryen must rely on wood and wind and canvas to bear her home. (ASOS ~ Danerys I)

Like said in Aegon = Viserion post, most likely, just flavour test. Could indicate Danerys’ forces will outmatch Jon and Aegon separately though. In the show, this fit for #TeamJon. And now that I think of it, also fit #TeamCersei (who’s filling for Aegon’s role).

She took a chunk of salt pork out of the bowl in her lap and held it up for her dragons to see. All three of them eyed it hungrily. Rhaegal spread green wings and stirred the air, and Viserion's neck swayed back and forth like a long pale snake's as he followed the movement of her hand. "Drogon," Dany said softly, "dracarys." And she tossed the pork in the air.

Drogon moved quicker than a striking cobra. Flame roared from his mouth, orange and scarlet and black, searing the meat before it began to fall. As his sharp black teeth snapped shut around it, Rhaegal's head darted close, as if to steal the prize from his brother's jaws, but Drogon swallowed and screamed, and the smaller green dragon could only hiss in frustration.

"Stop that, Rhaegal," Dany said in annoyance, giving his head a swat. "You had the last one. I'll have no greedy dragons." She smiled at Ser Jorah. "I won't need to char their meat over a brazier any longer."    

"So I see. Dracarys?"

All three dragons turned their heads at the sound of that word, and Viserion  let loose with a blast of pale gold flame that made Ser Jorah take a  hasty step backward. Dany giggled. "Be careful with that word, ser, or  they're like to singe your beard off. It means 'dragonfire' in High  Valyrian. I wanted to choose a command that no one was like to utter by  chance." (ASOS ~ Danerys I)  

All three dragons are eager to fight. “three heads has the dragon”. The Dance of Dragons II. Other things to note. Danerys hits Rhaegal for being greedy. I cannot believe she hit him. Like... he’s just a baby. :(

"The warlocks in Qarth told you that you would be betrayed three times,"  the exile knight reminded her, as Viserion and Rhaegal began to snap  and claw at each other.   (ASOS ~ Danerys I)    

Like said in the Aegon = Viserion post, Aegon and Jon, fighting over something. It’s likely they’ll fight as a north  faction versus south faction. Either against each other for the land, or against Danerys to defend each of their factions. Either way, these must be the root of their betrayals. This is speculation for book only, for TWOW / ADOS.

Dany had commanded that the top be removed, so her three dragons might be chained to the platform. Irri and Jhiqui rode with them, to try and keep them calm. Yet Viserion's tail lashed back and forth, and smoke rose angry from his nostrils. Rhaegal could sense something wrong as well. Thrice he tried to take wing, only to be pulled down by the heavy chain in Jhiqui's hand. Drogon coiled into a ball, wings and tail tucked tight. Only his eyes remained to tell that he was not asleep. (ASOS ~ Danerys III)    

Viserion and Rhaegal (Aegon and Jon) know something is wrong. Drogon (Danerys) doesn’t give a shit. This is the same chapter Danerys burns Astapor sooo... not a good look for Daniella.

Drogon flew almost lazily at Kraznys, black wings beating. As he gave  the slaver another taste of fire, Irri and Jhiqui unchained Viserion  and Rhaegal, and suddenly there were three dragons in the air. (ASOS ~ Danerys III)    

Like said in the Aegon = Viserion post, a three way battle  “the dragon has three heads”. The Dance of Dragons II.

(there’s a bunch of Rhaegal references already covered in Aegon = Viserion post, fast-forward to the next not covered one).

Daario is right, I shouldn't have banished him. I should have kept him, or I should have killed him. She played at being a queen, yet sometimes she still felt like a scared little girl. Viserys always said what a dolt I was. Was he truly mad? She closed the book. She could still recall Ser Jorah, if she wished. Or send Daario to kill him.

Dany fled from the choice, out onto the terrace. She found Rhaegal asleep beside the pool, a green and bronze coil basking in the sun. Drogon was perched up atop the pyramid, in the place where the huge bronze harpy had stood before she had commanded it to be pulled down. He spread his wings and roared when he spied her. There was no sign of Viserion, but when she went to the parapet and scanned the horizon she saw pale wings in the far distance, sweeping above the river. He is hunting. They grow bolder every day. Yet it still made her anxious when they flew too far away. One day one of them may not return, she thought.

This one was actually covered before, one of many Viserion turns away from Danerys, paralleling Aegon’s choice of not going to Danerys and invading Westeros on his own. However, what I didn’t notice the first time because this isn’t a proper meta, just dumping thoughts, This is the narrative block of Danerys finding out of Jorah’s betrayal (what she thinks is one anyway). Twice poignant!

Rhaegal is asleep beside a pool, Drogon is atop a pyramid where a harpy once stood, and Viserion is hunting in the distance. Obviously, distance doesn’t matter. These are stand-ins for Jon and Winterfell (the godswood pool... that’s an interesting place for the betrayal for platonic love to be in :)...) and Aegon attacking Westerons, while Danerys is still beyond the narrow sea. If this lecture is correct, she’s reaaally coming very late to Westeros.

A DANCE OF DRAGONS

Almost the whole shtick was already covered in the Aegon = Viserion post. Things to note: Rhaegal is aggressive towards Danerys and towards those that hurt his brother.

Once, not long ago, he had ridden on her shoulder, his tail coiled round her arm. Once she had fed him morsels of charred meat from her own hand. He had been the first chained up. Daenerys had led him to the pit herself and shut him up inside with several oxen. Once he had gorged himself he grew drowsy. They had chained him whilst he slept.

Rhaegal had been harder. Perhaps he could hear his brother raging in the pit, despite the walls of brick and stone between them. In the end, they had to cover him with a net of heavy iron chain as he basked on her terrace, and he fought so fiercely that it had taken three days to carry him down the servants' steps, twisting and snapping. Six men had been burned in the struggle. (ADWD ~ Danerys II)

Jonnathan Snowflake died went to the gym and flexes hard. I’m kidding.

The subtext suggests it’s more difficult to subdue Jon than Aegon. Or better, it suggests Danerys actually tricked Aegon into submission with some kind of tempting offer, while Jon had to submitted by force. For example, it would make sense if Danerys offered an alliance to Aegon and he accepted but then never followed through (like Astapor or Yunkai). While Jon wouldn’t be swayed, so he was forced to do it. Not quite it went in the show, when Cersei (Aegon) was the one that refused to yeld, while Jon... well that trainwreck. It could be that Jon was also playing some of Aegon’s (maculine) role.

The rain had drowned the worst of the fires, but wisps of smoke still rose from the smoldering ruin that had been the pyramid of Hazkar, and the great black pyramid of Yherizan where Rhaegal had made his lair hulked in the gloom like a fat woman bedecked with glowing orange jewels. (...) The only Meereenese the dragons had slain since Harghaz the Hero had been the slavers foolish enough to object when Rhaegal attempted to make his lair atop the pyramid of Hazkar. (...)  He wondered where Rhaegal was. Thus far the green dragon had shown himself to be more dangerous than the white.     (ADWD ~ The Queen’s Hand)

A dragon on top of a pyramid = king. It could be Winterfell / North sure, but this came AFTER Rhaegal killed Quentyn on Viserion’s behalf. Such it could be King’s Landing. I’d always though Jon would very briefly be king at the end, until he abdicated in favour of Bran to avoid another war, as nobody wanted those Targs on the throne. Doesn’t fit with the punish part though.

It’s also worth noting that once again, the subtext plants the idea that Jon is more dangerous than Aegon. As a final note, Rhaegal making his lair hulked in the gloom like “a fat woman bedecked in flowing orange jewels” is very Smaug of him. <3

----

Now, for bonus, the eggs proper. Not Rhaegal, but his green egg features in an important scene, just after Danerys hits Viserys for the first time.

"I am the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, not some grass-stained savage with bells in his hair," Viserys spat back at her. (...) His fingers dug into her arm painfully and for an instant Dany felt like a child again, quailing in the face of his rage. She reached out with her other hand and grabbed the first thing she touched, the belt she'd hoped to give him, a heavy chain of ornate bronze medallions. She swung it with all her strength.

It caught him full in the face. Viserys let go of her. Blood ran down his cheek where the edge of one of the medallions had sliced it open. "You are the one who forgets himself," Dany said to him. "Didn't you learn anything that day in the grass? Leave me now, before I summon my khas to drag you out. And pray that Khal Drogo does not hear of this, or he will cut open your belly and feed you your own entrails." (...) Drops of his blood had spattered the beautiful sandsilk cloak.  (...) "Please, bring me one of the dragon's eggs."

Irri fetched the egg with the deep green shell, bronze flecks shining amid its scales as she turned it in her small hands. Dany curled up on her side, pulling the sandsilk cloak across her and cradling the egg in the hollow between her swollen belly and small, tender breasts. (...) She was lying there, holding the egg, when she felt the child move within her … as if he were reaching out, brother to brother, blood to blood. "You are the dragon," Dany whispered to him, "the true dragon. I know it. I know it." And she smiled, and went to sleep dreaming of home. (AGOT ~ Danerys IV)

Like in Aegon = Viserys post, I said that there is evidence for Jon taking offence over Danerys trying to usurp his brother Aegon. We can see that reflected in this scene. I once thought the whole thing was about Danerys’ trying to usurp Jon (I thought the visions were more complex than what they were), but right now I’m thinking that is about Danerys’ usurping Aegon (and / or his cousins) and Jon taking offence over it.

In this case, Danerys gets Viserys some clothing offers. Viserys doesn’t take her offer well and rages against it, saying he’s the king. The two fight and Danerys reaches for the belt and uses it like a whip, drawing blood from his cheek and staining the cloak. Danerys then covers herself and the green egg with the bloodstained cloak and saying that Viserys isn’t the dragon, Rhaego (Drogon) is, and dreams of home.

Let’s recap how Viserion is taken prisoner, which is basically the same steps as the Danerys and Viserys fight above. Danerys tricks Viserion by baiting him with a meaty offer, then he rages on the pit when he realises the truth. Much later, Quentyn tries to subdue Viserion with a whip and someone draws blood from his neck. Moving forward, Danerys says unborn Rhaego is the true dragon, which implies she believes that Viserys isn’t. You know, the reason why Danerys says once Viserys is murdered by Drogo. So, this all fits with the subtext of Danerys killing Aegon because he was crowned king.

Then Danerys covers herself and the green egg with the sandsilk cloak, but note that this cloak is stained with Viserys’ blood. Then she dreams of home, which in Danerys’ chapters ALWAYS means Danerys burning King’s Landing (I made a post about this before, it’s somewhere). All it was missing from the Danerys and Viserys fight versus Viserion taken prisoner is Rhaegal killing Quentyn for the affront against his brother. However, Rhaegal is in this scene too, inside his egg beneath the bloodied cloak. It’s “missing” Viserion though... or is it?

Dany gave the silver over to the slaves for grooming and entered her tent. It was cool and dim beneath the silk. As she let the door flap close behind her, Dany saw a finger of dusty red light reach out to touch her dragon's eggs across the tent. For an instant a thousand droplets of scarlet flame swam before her eyes. (AGOT ~ Danerys III)

The Usurper has woken the dragon now, she told herself … and her eyes went to the dragon's eggs resting in their nest of dark velvet. The shifting lamplight limned their stony scales, and shimmering motes of jade and scarlet and gold swam in the air around them, like courtiers around a king. (...) Cradling the egg with both hands, she carried it to the fire and pushed it down amongst the burning coals. The black scales seemed to glow as they drank the heat. Flames licked against the stone with small red tongues. Dany placed the other two eggs beside the black one in the fire. As she stepped back from the brazier, the breath trembled in her throat. She watched until the coals had turned to ashes. (AGOT ~ Danerys VI)   

The Dance of Dragons between the three Targaryens might feature in the three egg mentions described above. It’s worth noting the first features Danerys returning home (”entered her tent”) and a red door (”the door flap close behind her, a finger of dusty red light”). In Danerys’ chapters, either always means burning King’s Landing (”a thousand droplets of scarlet flame swam before her eyes”).

"Yes?" the maegi asked. "What is it you wish, Khaleesi?"

"Bring me … egg … dragon's egg … please …" Her lashes turned to lead, and she was too weary to hold them up.

When she woke the third time, a shaft of golden sunlight was pouring through the smoke hole of the tent, and her arms were wrapped around a dragon's egg. It was the pale one, its scales the color of butter cream, veined with whorls of gold and bronze, and Dany could feel the heat of it. Beneath her bedsilks, a fine sheen of perspiration covered her bare skin. Dragondew, she thought. Her fingers trailed lightly across the surface of the shell, tracing the wisps of gold, and deep in the stone she felt something twist and stretch in response. (AGOT ~ Danerys IX)

Danerys doesn’t want her child or Drogo, her first thoughts are the eggs. This is quite telling where her priorities lie. Regardless, Danerys just miscarried Rhaego and the egg chosen ot be there is... Viserion’s. There’s Rhaego in the sandsilk sequence after all and this link between Rhaego and Viserion is suggest a third time in...

She climbed the pyre herself to place the eggs around her sun-and-stars. The black beside his heart, under his arm. The green beside his head, his braid coiled around it. The cream-and-gold down between his legs.(AGOT ~ Danerys X)

Danerys’ places Egg!Drogon besides Drogo’s heart and the dragon was named after the man, so Drogo’s blood sacrifice awakened Drogon. Danerys’ places Egg!Viserion at Drogo’s loins, who produced... that’s right, Rhaego, so Rhaego’s blood sacrifice awakened Viserion. Danerys’ thought Rhaego was “the true dragon”, not Viserys... and that’s how she justified killing him. But Rhaego’s blood sacrifice awakened Viserion, the dragon that is symbolic of Aegon, whom she’ll kill for not believing he’s a true dragon.

Also, Danerys’ places Egg!Rhaegal next to Drogo’s head with his braid around it, the symbol of his undefeated status (congruent with ACOK mentioned somewhere above), so Mirri Maz Duur’s sacrifice awakened Rhaegal. Danerys’ thought she was using Mirri Maz Duur, teaching her a lesson... but the dragon the maegi’s blood awakened, is also the dragon that is symbolic of the man that kills Danerys.

Narrative vengence served (very) cold.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

in the arms of the ocean- one

A/N: It’s a perfect day for sailing aboard the Dawn Treader- another in a spectacularly long line of perfect days, in fact, which is good news because the reason for this particular voyage is of extreme importance. 

Word count: 4,929

Warnings: Caspian’s flawless hair 

Present Day

Caspian stood near the bow, hands flat against the carved wooden railing while the breeze skipped over the ocean. Clear skies and gently rolling waves were all his sharp eyes could see for leagues. It was another fine day for sailing; not a cloud in sight to cast a shadow nor a salty chill in the air to seep into the bones of the crew. We’ve been fortunate so far, he mused, hoping  that the same good fortune and fair weather they’d had up until now would last for the remainder of the journey. But even if the sea turned a cold, choppy gray, or the wind whipped water across the deck, it would be hard to dampen his spirits. Not where we’re going. Not when the reason is to... He smiled at the cerulean expanse before him as he heard the sound of boot soles against the boards behind him. What’s she up to now, I wonder? 

“Your majesty?” A frustrated huff and exasperated sigh from Drinian told him it was something good this time, and he fought the urge to chuckle as he turned to face his friend. 

“Yes, Captain?” He crossed his arms over his chest, lips pressed together and eyebrows raised. 

Drinian’s clear blue eyes flicked up towards the mast before coming back to level with Caspian’s. “It’s...well, she’s-“ Caspian felt himself grin around the sound of your name as he said it, the other man nodding. “I can’t get her to come down.” Again? “Again.”

Bringing his hand up to shield his eyes from the sun’s glare, Caspian followed the massive beam upwards. The rich purple sails were full and fat, the intricately embroidered golden lions seeming to dance with the breeze. His smirk grew wider and his eyes continued to climb higher until they fell upon your bare feet, dangling from between the rungs of the crow’s nest. Breaking out in a full grin, he dropped his hand back to his side and faced Drinian again. “She likes it up there,” he said. The other man only frowned sternly causing the King’s smile to falter slightly. “It is the best view.” 

“Aye, your majesty, that it is,” he agreed. “And the most dangerous.” 

Caspian knew that this was true. Of course there were railings to hold onto. There were even ropes that could be used to tie oneself to the mast in case a lookout was needed in stormy or windy conditions. But she doesn’t use them. He sighed, knowing that Drinian’s concern was coming from the right place, but also that you likely didn’t want to hear it. “I’ll talk to her.” He promised. Again. 

Drinian’s frown relaxed, the creases in his sun tanned forehead smoothing back out. “I only want her to be safe,” he said solemnly. I know you do. There were few in the Kingdom of Narnia that Caspian trusted as much as the man standing in front of him, and none that he trusted more when it came to your safety. “With all due respect, if she’s to be the Queen of Narnia,” She is. “She needs to be more careful.” 

Caspian agreed. Aside from serving his people as best as he could, there was nothing in all of Narnia - or anywhere else for that matter- that meant more to him than you, and despite the fact that your daring sense of adventure was one of the things that first drew him to you, he knew that Drinian had a point. Not that Kings and Queens can’t have grand adventures; his own experiences with the Kings and Queens of old proved that they could. But there was a right time to take such risks, and perhaps this voyage in particular, with such a celebratory and joyful purpose, wasn’t the right time. He sighed again, smile still lingering even though he could already hear your stubborn response. He clapped Drinian on the shoulder, thanking him for his diligence in regards to keeping you and that of all those aboard the Dawn Treader safe. 

The salty man had a soft spot for you and the happiness that you brought to his King, but he also had an authoritative reputation to uphold among the crew. Nodding at the conclusion of his discussion with Caspian, Drinian returned to his duties as captain, hurrying away towards where Takos and Timmin were about to start one of their famously physical debates regarding which of them were stronger. “Great blundering buffoons!” The exasperated captain muttered under his breath as he strode towards the hulking Minotaur brothers. 

Caspian shook his head and laughed to himself as he watched Drinian scold the creatures, both of them nearly double the man’s size in any direction. They mean well, and they’ve both proven themselves. They’re just... he looked back up, squinting at your tiny form against the bright blue sky and sighed again, a warmth spreading in his chest, spirited. Which seemed to be a prerequisite for gaining a spot in the Dawn Treader’s crew. Aside from the pair of brothers, two other sailors had joined the ranks of long time crewmen like Rhince and Rynelf; Grivez, a quiet but driven young Telmarine who looked up to Caspian and had worked hard to ensure his placement with the crew. He learned more quickly than any greenhorn Caspian had ever sailed with, catching his sea legs much more easily than the young King had on his first venture out at sea. With nimble fingers that made fast work of knots and rigging, and an eagerness to learn more everyday, Grivez was sure to become a permanent fixture. 

The other new member, Caspian realized as he made his way towards the mast, he hadn’t seen in quite some time. That’s not unusual for him. Not only was he the smallest crewman, but he was also the bravest and busiest, always scurrying off to complete daring and integral tasks. I’m sure he’ll turn up soon with much to report. Brushing his palms off on his trousers, Caspian readied himself to climb, reaching for a rung to hoist himself up with before finding a foothold. Heights didn’t bother him, and he was more than confident that he had the strength necessary to scale the central beam that held up the largest of the sails and the round platform of the crow’s nest. But he still climbed with caution, making it to the top rungs much more slowly than he knew you had reached the pinnacle of the grandest ship to grace the seas. Fearless. She’s fearless and confident and… He paused just a few feet from the opening in the bottom of the platform, where the ladder led up and into the basket from where your legs dangled freely. His lips widened, pushing his cheeks up into his eyes and rounding them with his smile as your voice hit his ear. Confident and competent and... 

“It really is incredible, isn’t it? The sea?” 

Caspian knew how much you loved the sea, how much of your heart he’d have to share with the waves and the wind and the open water. But he didn’t mind, because if he were to have it his way, he would spend more time at sea than sitting on his throne. Your love of the endless blue depths and your willingness to forgo the gowns and gilding of the palace for the boards and oars of the Dawn Treader only endeared you more to him. Who is she talking to though?He didn’t need to wonder for very long though, as a second voice joined yours.

 “It truly is, M’lady!” I should have known. The question of who you were chatting with had also answered the riddle of where the other new crew member had gone. “Incredible and full of potential for adventure!” Just like his uncle, that one. Caspian had always been very fond of Reepicheep, the noblest and bravest of mice and men, and though he tried to remind himself not to be sad, for his friend had chosen to journey past the edges of Narnia and on to Aslan’s country, he had missed his company and was all too happy when Reep’s nephew Cheepimeek had joined the crew. 

Caspian quietly climbed the last few rungs until he could peek up and over the ledge, still hidden below the base of the crow’s nest. Eyes and forehead above the boards, he broke into a grin as he caught sight of the two of you sitting casually with your backs turned to the mast.  Look at them. Though you and the brave little Mouse next to you had been engaged in conversation, neither of you had bothered to pull your awed gazes from the majestic view in favor of eye contact. Before meeting you, Reep had been the only soul that Caspian had known to enjoy the ocean and the freedoms and challenges it offered even more than he did. But in the last year, you and Meek had proven to be of the same ilk, unsurprisingly becoming fast friends. 

You laughed, the sound hitting Caspian’s ear and filling his chest with the warmth of the sun. “You’ve always got your sights set on your next grand adventure, don’t you Meek?” 

You were leaning forward with your legs hanging between the wooden rails, the tail of your blousy shirt untucked from the waistband of your deep purple trousers. A pair of abandoned boots lay slumped in a heap of soft leather behind you, Meek’s needle-thin sword propped up against the cuff of one of them. Your hair hung in a loose braid over your shoulder, and as the reflection of the sun’s light bounced off the water and back up at you, Caspian caught the tell-tale glint of the only piece of adornment he’d never seen you without; a small golden starfish hairpin with a trail of pearls dangling from it. It had been your mother’s, you’d told him once as he ran his fingertips over the smooth opalescent pearl drops. He’d seen you in stunning beaded and embroidered gowns cut from material woven with silver and gold. He’d danced with you as you dripped amethysts and rubies and sapphires, your hair arranged in intricate braids and twists and curls and your lips and cheeks rouged. But as beautiful as you looked when you dressed for courtly functions, seeing you like this, all windswept and wild, made his heart race a little faster, made him take his bottom lip between his teeth, made his fingers curl inwards against his palm. She doesn’t need any of that, this is who she is. 

Though he’d filled his mind with countless more memories and moments since then, Caspian’s memory hurtled back to the day that he met you, as it often did when he saw how at ease you were when you got to cast off the expectations you carried back at Cair Paravel. 

..  ..  ..  ..  ..  ..  

1 Year Ago 

Though the storm that had caused them to harbor along the shoreline of a strange, unknown island had raged angrily all night long, Caspian’s eyes opened the next morning to bright yellow sunlight streaming in through the thick glass panes of his cabin windows. Sitting up, he realized that the violent tossing of the waves beneath the hull had ceased, slowing to a pleasant and gentle rocking. He raised a hand to comb his long hair back and out of his eyes, all of the soreness that battling the storm had brought him gone now after only a few hours of sleep. How is that..? Confused and half wondering if he weren’t still asleep and dreaming, Caspian swung his legs over the side of the bed and made his way over to the window. Opening it only revealed a rippling expanse of crystalline water and a sky so clear it was absurd to think that it had ever been marred by a single shadow, let alone the pewter toned and rain soaked clouds that blotted out the light. It was as though it were more likely that the storm had been a figment of his imagination than the island appearing out of the storm’s spray.

I’ve never seen the sky clear so quickly after a storm like that. Pushing the window open further, he stuck his head out, craning his neck up and down, side to side to examine as much of his new surroundings as possible. Then again, I’ve never seen a storm like that. From what he could see of the ship from his window, it looked as though aside from the shredded sails, that the Dawn Treader had fared much better than he’d feared. 

Dressing quickly in a fresh pair of light brown trousers and a loose-fitting maroon shirt under a leather vest, he fastened buckles and stuffed his stocking clad feet into a pair of tall boots. Sheathing his sword at his belt and pulling the top half of his hair back with a strip of black material, he left his cabin in search of Drinian and Rhince. We need to prepare a party to go ashore, look for supplies, mend the sails and… 

“Your Majesty.” 

He stopped short of walking smack into Rynelf, one of the longest tenured members of his crew, and with more experience with the wiles of the water in his little finger than most sailors had in their entire bodies. But he looks, Caspian regarded the deep furrows in the man’s brow and the uneasy way that his stony eyes darted from here to there. He looks nervous. Why? Pushing it from his mind and taking it upon himself to clear the man of his worry, Caspian nodded and greeted him by name. 

“Good morning, Rynelf.” 

“And to you, your majesty,” the man nodded back, dipping his head low enough that Caspian was left looking at the bald patch in the nest of peppery gray curls that sat atop it. 

Raising one eyebrow, Caspian placed a hand on Rynelf’s shoulder and he snapped his gaze back up to meet the King’s. “Are you alright?” He’d thought for certain that he had checked with every member of the crew after they’d dropped anchor, ensuring that no one had been injured too badly as ropes and rigging swung and the pitching of the waves had turned the level floorboards into treacherous terrain. Did I miss something? Was he hurt? His eyes raked over the older man before him in search of any obvious signs of injury, and while he found several gnarled scars on Rynelf’s forearms, hands and face, he saw no fresh wounds, no bruising or bleeding.

“Aye, I’m alright, your majesty,” he answered, “I’ve just... “ His eyes danced all around again, flitting from the deck to the hatch that lead to the sailor’s quarters and finally up at the ruined remnants of the Dawn Treader’s once proud sails. What is it? Caspian’s eyes narrowed as Rynelf decided how to continue. “Your majesty, forgive me but in all of my years on these seas I’ve never known a storm to have no eye, nor an island to shift into being from an empty plot of ocean.” Well, I haven’t either but- “I’ve an uneasy feeling is all, your majesty, and I’d be remiss if I hadn’t told you. I know you’re planning to go ashore.” Yes, I have to, we need- “Just take extra care, my King.” Once more his eyes circled their surroundings, as though searching for the invisible source of his unease and coming up short. “Things are changing with the winds and we are in an unfamiliar place.” 

It was strange to see the man so stricken with concern. He’d seen so much it was difficult to imagine something catching him off guard or causing him to outwardly display worry. Removing his hand from Rynelf’s shoulder, Caspian assured him that he would take caution as he went ashore. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find Drinian and Rhince.” 

He took his leave of the old man in search of his captain and first mate, and within the hour a party of 6 crewmen were ready to lower the rowboats and accompany their King to the white sand of the mysterious island. Oars in hand, Caspian rowed along with his men, his eyes widening with every stroke that cut through the glimmering water. As they traveled closer to shore, the full beauty of the island became clear. Oh, it’s… But he didn’t have the word for what he was seeing; trees as tall as the lower spires of Cair Paravel’s massive citadel, with wide fronds in brilliant shades ranging from emerald to chartreuse, some of their branches adorned with flowers and fruits in colors Caspian wasn’t sure there were names for. Shells and smooth stones littered the coast, more washing up with every breaking wave, and they glinted in radiant jewel tones. Even the air seemed to taste sweeter, more like it did high in the mountains than it should down here, level with the salty sea. It’s beautiful. 

The silence of the men behind him as their oars slipped through the calm water told him that they were just as stunned by the island. He continued to scan the shore for any sign of civilization, but if the island was inhabited, the dense foliage was hiding it’s citizens well. At least from this side. The island didn’t appear to be very large, but the shape of it made it nearly impossible to see much at once, so there was no way of knowing if there was an entire port city built on another coast. Once they reached the shallow lip of the island, 7 pairs of boots splashed into the water, 7 pairs of hands gripping the sides of the rowboat to pull it up onto the sand, and 7 mouths were left gaping at the sight before them. 

Once they’d reached the soft, pale sand, Drinian started splitting the group off into pairs, assigning them different directions to search for food, fresh water, and any supplies that might prove useful in getting the ship back in sailing shape. Two men headed East, two men headed straight into the foliage, and Drinian, Caspian and a sailor named Ropen took the West side, following the curved shape of the island. They kept close to the shore but always kept an eye on the forest, but though Caspian knew that he should feel some apprehension about being in a strange place, every step he took only made him feel more safe and comforted. 

All at once, just as the island itself had appeared, the three men stopped walking as the mast beams of three ships in various states of construction and repair came into view, a small wooden house attached to a shipyard building just a few yards up the beach. There didn’t seem to be any other visible dwellings or businesses. Not quite a port city but… 

“What do you make of this, Your Majesty?” Drinian’s question came from over Caspian’s left shoulder, not concerned, just curious and cautious. 

Caspian brought a hand up behind his neck and squeezed, thinking. It seemed odd that this would be the only sign of civilization- if there were no other inhabitants, who did those ships belong to? “I think we should take a look.” He removed the hand from his neck and gestures towards the ships. “Even if the shipyard is abandoned, there may be things that we can use for our repairs.”

Drinian nodded, and the three of them made their way closer. When they reached the docks and the adjacent building, Ropen and Drinian each circled the structures from opposite sides. Caspian made his way out onto the dock between two large schooners, one hand on the hilt of his sword though it was completely out of habit- he felt less and less threatened with every step he took, the memory of the previous night’s storm seeming to fade the longer he stayed on the island. He admired the gorgeous carvings and impeccable craftsmanship in the fat bellies of the ships, and before he realized what he was doing, he was boarding the one closest to him, running his hand over the smooth railings as he made his way towards the bow. 

“Who may I ask are you, sir?” A female voice called from above, laced with just a hint of annoyance that mixed with amused curiosity. Despite the benign nature of the question, the sudden question startled him. Who said that? His hand closed around the grip of his sword as he crouched a few inches lower and searched for the source of the voice. As though in answer to his unasked question, the voice called again, this time tinted with laughter. “I’m up here.” Caspian straightened up and turned towards the central mast, eyes traveling up and up and up until he spotted your form waving down to him. “Interesting that you feel the need to protect yourself,” You smirked, one hand on your hip and the other reaching to grab onto the netting hanging from where you stood, and in one fell swoop, you swung yourself down with such speed and agility that Caspian worried he might have to catch you else you’d end up as a splattered mess on the ship’s pristine deck. But you landed gracefully just a few steps from him, your bare feet hitting the deck with catlike silence. No one on my crew can do that. I can’t do that, how did she... “When it’s my ship you’ve boarded without permission and not the other way around.” You raised one eyebrow, and it got lost in the unruly tendrils that bordered your forehead. “Now,” you smiled, but resumed your stance from above, one hand on your hip. “Who are you, and what are you doing on my ship?”

“I’m…” Caspian looked over his shoulder to where Drinian and Ropen where jogging down the dock, a third man shuffling along after them. 

You clicked your tongue as you followed his line of sight. “Your men?” You asked. 

“Yes, I-” 

You sighed. “They’ve woken my father.” You turned back to Caspian, taking another step and looking at him fully for the first time. “And you’ve trespassed.” You crossed your arms, but Caspian thought he saw a softening in your eyes, and even though your questioning was somewhat prickly, he could tell that you were more curious than anything. Though you were dressed plainly in an old white shirt tucked hastily into well-fitting pants, he caught the bright glint of a gilded pin securing  your hair in a braid over one shoulder. “So tell me, who are you and why are you here?” 

The older man that followed Drinian and Ropen called out a name- your name- waving his arms. “Calm yourself, daughter,” he called, huffing from the short jog down to the docks. “Unless you mean to threaten our King?” 

Your mouth dropped open and a breath slipped out, and the shocked expression on your sure face, though it lasted only a split second, was one that Caspian was sure he’d remember for the rest of his days. 

.. ..  ..  ..  ..  ..  ..

Present Day 

Still standing on the ladder, everything below his nose still hidden from view, Caspian smiled recalling that look of shock on your face and how he hadn’t known it then but it had been the first of many looks that you’d give him that would etch themselves into his heart. 

Without taking your eyes from the ocean, you lowered your hand down so that Meek could climb into your palm to scurry up your arm, perching on your shoulder. “The world is too wide and wonderful, M’lady,” he answered, “to not want to see it all.”

“Well,” you sighed as Caspian finally pulled himself up through the floor of the crow’s nest. Throwing a glance over your shoulder, you saw him and smiled, then turned towards your shoulder to face your small friend. “I’m glad we’ll get to see it together, Cheepimeek the Bold.”

Pulling himself up through the opening at last, Caspian joined your conversation. “And I am glad that I’ll get to see it with both of you.” 

“Your majesty!” Cheepimeek ran down your arm and bent into a low bow. 

“Hello, Meek, I should have known I’d find you two together.” 

Cheepimeek blushed and fiddled with his tail, though Caspian could tell that he wasn’t embarrassed or frightened that he’d be in trouble. “Ah, yes, well, M’lady is excellent company.” She is. “And I do enjoy the view.” Caspian nodded with a smile. “But I’m certain that there’s work to be done elsewhere.” He scooped up his tiny rapier and sheathed it in the belt at his furry waist. “I take my leave, your majesty, M’lady.” With another bow, Cheepimeek scurried down the netting and out of sight leaving just the two of you and the vast expanse of ocean. 

You turned to greet him with your stunning smile, crooked and imperfect and all for him. “I wondered when you’d be joining us, my King.” 

A dizzy, warm feeling filled him every time you addressed him as your King. It was how most of his subjects addressed him, but there was a difference when it came from you. I am yours. “Oh?” He lifted one eyebrow questioningly as he came to sit beside you. 

You laughed, turning towards him and wrinkling your nose. “Mmhmm. I saw you speaking with Drinian.” Now it was his turn to laugh. “I know how he feels about my…” 

“Adventurous streak?” Caspian supplied with a smirk and you nodded. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer, making sure not to be too bold in broad daylight. You sighed and laid your head against his shoulder, your soft hair tickling the skin above the opening in his shirt. “You would save me the lectures from Drinian if you’d considered listening to them once in a while.” He teased, pulling another small laugh from you. He inhaled deeply through his nose and turned to press a quick, light kiss to your temple, the modest display of affection stirring much less modest thoughts that were quickly quelled when he reminded himself of why he was up here. Suddenly the tone of his voice changed. “You know he’s only concerned for your safety.” 

You looked into his eyes and brought your fingers up to push a stubborn lock of your hair back behind the starfish pin. “I know, Caspian.” Unlike most, you had taken to calling him simply by his name much more naturally, and unlike anyone you made it sound like a song. “But there’s no reason to worry, you know that.” 

Close to you I’ll always be, to keep you safe upon the sea. 

They weren’t quite a memory, and they certainly were not a dream. They were words that had proven themselves to be true your entire life- you had always been safe no matter where you sailed, how high you climbed, or how harsh the storms became. Every ship that you’d ever woven a sail for had been gifted the same protection. You couldn’t explain it, and Caspian knew that some things in this world had no explanation. But he couldn’t bank on the ghost of a phrase, not when it came to the woman he loved, the woman that he planned to marry and have as his Queen. 

He spoke your name and swallowed. “I know.” He nodded and you rested your head back on his shoulder, the hand he had around your waist coming up to trace the pointed edges of the pin in your hair. “But you’re my Queen.” He felt you shiver next to him. Not yet, not technically but… But for all it mattered your heart had already been crowned as his. “And I can’t lose you. Narnia can’t lose you.” He pressed another swift kiss to your warm skin. “They don’t know it yet, but you’re going to be the best Queen our people have ever had. And that means that they need you to stay safe. I need you to stay safe.” 

You let out another sigh and gently wound your arm behind him, mirroring his hold on you. “Well,” you said, “if my King demands it.” 

Caspian smiled, knowing that you knew full and well that he’d never demand anything from you. “He does.” 

Before you could answer, there was a call from below that drew both of your attention. “Land ho!” Takos called triumphantly, followed closely by a second call from Timmin, not to be outdone by his brother. 

The stunning sight of lush greenery and bright flora in the shape of an island loomed on the horizon, and the excitement made your eyes widen, the conversation you’d just been having flying to the rear of your mind as you turned to him, giddy with happiness. “Land ho, Caspian.” You stood, reaching for his hand and pulling him to his feet with more strength than an outsider would think you were capable of. “Home.” 

He smiled and brushed his fingers over the curve of your cheek. “Home.” He nodded, your excitement contagious and chasing the conversation from his mind, too. “Should we go see if your father is in?” 

You bit your bottom lip and smiled around it, then bent down to scoop up your discarded boots, slinging them over your shoulder. “Come on, my King. Let’s go and tell him the good news.” 

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Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed from the tags! Thank you as always for reading :) 

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@something-tofightfor​ @its-my-little-dumpster-fire​ @malionnes​ @suchatinyinfinity​ @gollyderek​ @pheedraws​ @russobill​ @thesumofmychoices​ @beautifuldesastre​ @fific7 @dearmarii​ @tartiflvtte​

[spacenoise]

Essential Steven Universe Episodes

Hello everyone! 

Looking to watch Steven Universe, but not drag yourself through all the episodes? Never fear! I’ve made a list of what I believe to be the most essential episodes of Steven Universe with unnecessary ones labelled as such (and my reasons why). Now here’s some things to keep in mind before looking at the list:

When I say “essential” I mean ones that introduce important elements to the story. New important characters, new powers, episodes that develop the character and plot-relevant episodes fit this category. 

Episodes that develop certain characters will be labeled as “unnecessary” if they don’t contribute enough to the plot or their growth.

There may be some personal bias since I found one or two filler episodes to be enjoyable despite their uselessness to the overall plot but I’ll label them as well so you know.

 Avoid reading ahead. The labels for unnecessary ones may contain SPOILERS so if you care about that kind of stuff: you’ve been warned.

On to the list!

Season 1

1. Gem Glow

2. Laser Light Cannon

3. Cheeseburger Backpack: Steven’s first mission

a. Together Breakfast: shows off gem rooms and a monster but that’s really it.

b. Frybo: introduces PeeDee but he doesn’t ever really do anything so...?

4. Cat Fingers

5. Bubble Buddies

6. Serious Steven

a. Tiger Millionaire: while there is some character development, there isn’t really enough to make it worth watching since most of the episode is focused on wrestling.

7. Steven’s Lion

8. Arcade Mania

9. Giant Woman

10. So Many Birthdays: a peek at how dark this show can get

11. Lars and the Cool Kids

a. Onion Trade: mainly about Onion; if you like his character, feel free to watch but if not I’d avoid it since it ultimately doesn’t mean much.

12. Steven the Sword Fighter

13. Lion 2: The Movie

a. Beach Party: Gems piss off the family that runs the town’s pizza shop and try to make it up to them by inviting them to hang out. Shenanigan ensue, but has no lasting impact on the story.

14. Rose’s Room

15. Coach Steven

a. Joking Victim: develops Sadie and Lars’ relationship; skip if you don’t really care about either

16. Steven and the Stevens

17. Monster Buddies

18. An Indirect Kiss

19. Mirror Gem & Ocean Gem 

a. House Guest: shows why Steven has trouble with his powers, but nothing too important happens other than that; watch if you wanna see more Pearl & Greg interactions

20. Space Race: shows Pearl’s fondness of space; develops her character and background but not necessary; skip if you want

a. Secret Team: if you don’t like episodes about characters making temporary truces I’d avoid this one; not enough character development to make it worthwhile.

b. Island Adventure: another Sadie and Lars episode; Lars opens about his feelings but not much else happens.

21. Keep Beach City Weird: relevant for SU: Future reasons, but if you don’t like Ronaldo skip

22. Fusion Cuisine

a. Garnet’s Universe: contributes nothing, but is a kinda cute episode.

b. Watermelon Steven: introduces a character(s) that is only used a total of three (maybe four?) times; also introduces a power that is rarely ever used when it matters.

23. Lion 3: Straight to Video

24. Alone Together

25. Warp Tour

a. The Test: some good character discussions, but not important overall.

26. Future Vision

27. On the Run

a. Horror Club: if you don’t care for Ronaldo, Sadie or Lars: skip. Even if you care about Lars, skip this one since you kinda get the gist of his character at this point.

b. Winter Forecast: a few nice moments, but ultimately a big “what-if” episode

28. Maximum Capacity

29. Marble Madness

30. Rose’s Scabbard

a. Open Book: a Steven and Connie episode; fun if you like them, but skippable

b. Shirt Club: focuses on one of the Cool Kids but ultimately means nothing

c. Say Uncle: Uncle Grandpa Crossover; some funny moments from the Gems but if you don’t like UG avoid this one.

31. Story for Steven

32. The Message

a. Political Power: addresses certain concerns the Gems have, but nothing important crosses over into the next episode; most about Mayor Dewey anyway

33. The Return

34. Jailbreak

-------------------

Season 2

1. Full Disclosure

a. Joy Ride: Steven messes around with the Cool Kids; there’s a bit here briefly referenced in SU: Future I think, but other than nothing really happens; skip it if you want

b. Love Letters: properly introduces Jamie and shows his character, but he never does anything for the plot. All you need to know if him and Steven are friends.

c. Reformed: introduces Amethyst's new form and shows more of her insecurities but that’s all this episode is really good for.

2. Sworn to the Sword

a. Rising Tides, Crashing Skies: a Ronaldo episode; need I say more?

3. Keeping It Together

4. We Need To Talk

5. Chille Tid

6. Cry for Help

7. Keystone Motel

a. Onion Friend: another Onion episode; addresses how Amethyst feels regarding the current situation, but other than that nothing worthwhile.

b. Historical Friction: Jamie puts on a play and some gem stuff is involved; no action, but tells us about the Gems’ history

8. Friend Ship

a. Nightmare Hospital: mostly about Connie and her mom; some cool scary bits, but skippable.

b. Sadie’s Song: entirely about Sadie and how her mom makes her feel; skip if you don’t care much for Sadie.

9. Catch and Release

10. When It Rains

11. Back to the Barn

a. Too Far: develops Peridot and Amethyst’s relationship, and develops Peridot’s character, but not enough to make this episode necessary

12. The Answer

a. Steven’s Birthday: fun episode, but ultimately contributes nothing

13. It Could’ve Been Great

14. Message Received

a. Log Date 7 15 2: shows how Peridot got to where she is (as a character) and fills in some holes between Catch and Release and Message Received; fun and worth watching but skippable regardless

-------------------

Season 3

1. Super Watermelon Island

2. Gem Drill

3. Same Old World

4. Barn Mates

5. Hit the Diamond

a. Steven Floats: introduces new power but not much else

b. Drop Beat Dad: Explains where Greg gets his money, and I guess if you’re a Sour Cream fan watch this one? Skip if you’re not. 

6. Mr. Greg

7. Too Short To Ride

a. The New Lars: focuses on Lars mostly, but Sadie also shows up at one point; skip if you don’t care about them.

b. Beach City Drift: watch if you like Stevonnie; skip if you don’t really care.

c. Restaurant Wars: pointless fight between the pizza shop family and the fry stand family. I guess if you like food watch this one, but you can skip this one.

d. Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service: focuses on certain member’s of the pizza family. Skippable, but watch if you like pizza I guess.

8. Monster Reunion

9. Alone at Sea

a. Greg the Babysitter: a “stories of the past” episode where Rose shows up; nothing important really happens though

b. Gem Hunt: a certain character makes a return, but not until the end of the episode; skippable

10. Crack the Whip

a. Steven vs. Amethyst: develops their relationship but skippable overall

11. Bismuth

12. Beta 

13. Earthlings

14. Back to the Moon

15. Bubbled

-------------------

Season 4

a. Kindergarten Kid: Looney Tunes-esque episode; fun but skippable

b. Know Your Fusion: certain fusions return but still skippable

c. Buddy’s Book: shows off more of the Gems’ history and has Rose in it; still skippable despite all this since none of it is super important.

2. Mindful Education

a. Future Boy Zoltron: skippable since it focuses on Mr. Smiley and a former colleague; watch if you want to see some fun interactions.

b. Last One Out of Beach City: fun episode and shows some of Pearl’s development, but still skippable.

c. Onion Gang: it’s an Onion episode so: skippable.

d. Gem Harvest: Thanksgiving episode; reveals Steven’s real last name but nothing else important.

3. Three Gems and a Baby

4. Steven’s Dream

5. Adventures in Light Distortion

6. Gem Heist

7. The Zoo

8. That Will Be All

a. The New Crystal Gems: shows us what Connie, Lapis and Peridot did while Steven was in space. Nothing really happens so just skip this one.

9. Storm in the Room

a. Rocknaldo: features Ronaldo once again and is arguably one of the worst episodes. Thankfully, it’s skippable.

b. Tiger Philanthropist: callback to an older episode; doesn’t contribute anything to the current plot

10. Room for Ruby

a. Lion 4: Alternate Ending: goes no where and contributes nothing; reveals possible name for Steven if he was a girl though so...cool I guess? Skip it.

11. Doug Out

a. The Good Lars: develops Lars’ character a little, but not much else

12. Are You My Dad

13. I Am My Mom

-------------------

Season 5

a. Stuck Together: Steven and Lars’ relationship develops further along with Lars’ character; some dramatic moments make it an overall a good episode, but you can skip it if you want.

1. The Trial

2. Off Colors

3. Lars’ Head

a. Dewey Wins: Steven realizes why Connie’s upset with him; saved you from watching Mayor Dewey for almost eleven minutes.

b. Gemcation: another good episode, but skippable regardless.

4. Raising the Barn

a. Back to the Kindergarten: shows how Peridot feels after a certain event, but nothing else really happens.

b. Sadie Killer: Sadie starts a band and that’s it. Skip if you don’t care much for Sadie.

c. Kevin Party: watch for character drama and one resolution, but skip if you can’t stand Kevin.

5. Lars of the Stars

6. Jungle Moon

7. Your Mother and Mine

a. The Big Show: a Sadie’s band episode; skippable

b. Pool Hopping: shows off Garnet’s fears and insecurities but is still skippable

c. Letters to Lars: basically amounts to Dewey finding his place in town after losing his job; nothing else so just skip this one.

8. Can’t Go Back

9. A Single Pale Rose

10. Now We’re Only Falling Apart

a. What’s Your Problem: develops Steven and Amethyst’s relationship further; skip if you want, but it’s a good episode to watch.

11. The Question

12. Made of Honor

13. Reunited

14. Legs From Here To Homeworld

15. Together Alone

a. Escapism: shows how Steven contacts the B-team but overall just feels kind of out of place? Skip if you want.

16. Change Your Mind (four parts; almost an hour long btw)

  -------------------

Watch Steven Universe: The Movie if you plan on watching Steven Universe: Future

 -------------------

Steven Universe: Future

1. Little Homeschool

a. Guidance: skippable since nothing in this episode is mentioned ever again. Smoky Quartz is in it though so watch if you like her.

2. Rose Buds

3. Volleyball

a. Bluebird: introduces Greg’s new look and a new fusion that’s never brought up again.

b. A Very Special Episode: fun episode but contributes nothing to the overall story.

4. Snow Day

a.  Why So Blue: shows other Lapis Lazulis and shows us how far Lapis has really come; watch if you’re a Lapis fan, but skip if you want.

b. Little Graduation: skip if you never really cared too much about any of the human characters since this is mostly about them.

c. Prickly Pair: downer of an episode; no one ever mentions anything that’s said in this episode, but check it out if you wanna see Steven more of Steven’s plant powers!

6. In Dreams

7. Bismuth Casual

8. Together Forever

9. Growing Pains

a. Mr. Universe: Greg’s history is revealed but doesn’t contribute much so skip if you don’t really care about that too much.

10. Fragments

11. Homeworld Bound

12. Everything’s Fine

13. I Am My Monster

14. The Future

And that’s it! I guess let me know if this list was helpful or not, but other than that: I hope you enjoy Steven Universe!

[misslavendertown]

🌹My thoughts on Steven universe future!🌹

WARNING this post contains a lot of steven universe future spoilers if you haven't seen the new episodes and don't want to be spoiled don't read. I would put a read more link below the warning but Tumblr mobile sucks.

Little homeschool

So Steven can heal corrupted gems using a mixture of what I expect are the diamonds escents? Maybe it's from the extraction Chambers? I can't remember what they're called but yellow's sauna and blue's bath.

Pamphlets about being uncorrupted. Kind of makes me think of those awkward puberty pamphlets you get from school.

The next few minutes are just the trailer.

Connie's preparing for college. I'm so proud. 😊

Pearl teaching gems how to use phones is just golden. Also Holo Pearl is back.

"took me forever to pull those puny green earthlings out of the ground" "you mean grass"

People are gonna hate me for saying this but I actually kind of feel bad for Jasper I think she's bored. She just wants to fight maybe she can take up boxing or wrestling. You know what never mind she'll kill the first person who steps in the ring.

F I G H T M E!

Steven putting a bubble around baby birds to protect them from him and Jasper's fight is purest thing I've seen on the show.

Pink Steven shows up but we already knew about that.

Steven seeking guidance from Jasper disturbs me. This obviously isn't going to end well.

Guidance

Guidance counselor amethyst!

Mr. Smiley has gem employees now maybe he can finally get some sleep. Does anyone remember that?

Amethyst assigned human jobs to the gems and a lot of them are doing jobs they did on homeworld. Steven has a big problem with that but I'm not going to be quick to judge him because I also had a problem with it and I'm sure I'm not the only one who did.

I thought little larimar would be smaller

Larimar and snowflake have I've powers. It's really hard not to make a Frozen joke.

Snowflake seems to have a "male" voice like rainbow 2.0 I think it's Ian Jones-Quarty voicing them but I could be wrong so don't get your hopes up.

I just hope people won't start thinking the gems have genders. The gems don't have genders and I'm tired of explaining that to people.

"I wish to hear the humans scream forever" - little Larimar 2019

Steven is becoming a bit of a control freak that must be the diamond in him.

Uncle Andy is back.

One of the rubies has a #1 body guard mug. I love the idea of a Ruby drinking coffee

As expected Steven forcing gems to do things they suck at goes horribly wrong and now there's all kinds of crazy stuff happening including a runaway rollercoaster.

SMOKY QUARTZ RETURNS!!

Pink smoky and they have super speed now or Steven has super speed. they're so fast everything is slow motion like that one episode of regular show with the double glazed apple fritters.

For some odd reason amethyst never questions Steven's new abilities but then again she probably doesn't know that it might be a bad thing.

Some of the gems actually enjoy what they did on homeworld. Amethyst is a really good guidance counselor I'm really looking forward to seeing more of this in the future.

"sometimes you save all the people and the rollercoaster still crashes into the ocean....and that's okay" words of wisdom.

Amethyst found out who she is and what she wants to do.

Larimar likes children and now she hands out prizes for them at one of the game stands.

"I love their laughter it's sounds just like screaming"

"OH NO WE FORGOT ONION!!! eh he's fine"

Onion is immortal apparently. Whatever it's onion don't question his logic.

Rose buds

The homeworld humans are back! They've taken control of the zoo after the diamonds freed everyone and now it's a cruise ship.

J10 and y6 being salty about Greg not choosening them. J10 annoyed at the amethysts for being lazy. I guess he doesn't realize that's how cruise ships work.

Holly blue agate and the famethyst are back! Holly doesn't know how to relax.

THE BUBBLED ROSE QUARTZ GEMS ARE FREE AND THEY ACT LIKE TEENAGERS. THEY'RE SO CUTE!

They consider Steven their hero and are super excited to see what the Earth has become since they've been. There's only three of them staying.

Steven feels overwhelmed by all their questions and accidentally invites them to dinner.

Only three of the roses come a bubbly rose, a laid back rose and the one we saw in the trailer

As expected it's super awkward for everyone the gang isn't ready to face them yet.

They call carrots carrot beans and it's so adorable. I love them so much.

Greg considers the human zoo humans his exes. He mentions he hasn't had this many exes in one place since and then he's cut off I would like to know more about Greg's exes and the incident he was talking about.

"I can feel the rest of my hair falling out!" -Greg Universe 2019 seriously though poor Greg.

They all hide in the bathroom.

The rose quartz want to stay with Steven. he's uncomfortable around them but doesn't want to seem rude and hurt their feelings or make them feel unwelcome.

SLUMBER PARTY!!!

Steven tells the roses how he really feels and turns out they were faking their feelings too. They're really hurt over what happened and they know what Steven is going through with the whole pink diamond fiasco and their conflicting feelings regarding her. It's a very sweet and touching moment between them.

Steven considers them siblings now because they were all created by pink diamond and understand what it's like living in Rose's shadow

I know they don't stay on earth with Steven but I hope we get to see the roses again before the series ends.

Volleyball

Doctor Steven > Doctor Mario don't @ me.

long necked Ruby is hilarious

Pink Pearl's crack can't be healed by Steven's spit.

She doesn't remember being under White's control which makes sense. She was under her control for 8000 years.

So Pink hurt pink pearl why am I not surprised? 😒

I think she's still grieving obviously. Again trailer stuff.

Pink pearl is older than pearl

Some Pearls were made on Earth and the facility doubles as a repair shop. It also has accessories basically it's like a place where you can get your phone fixed and shop for phone cases and other stuff.

Pink pearl is a ribbon dancer. That's what they're called right?

The problem isn't her gem it's a psychological thing.

Gems can damage their physical forms without damaging their gem. That's very interesting and I don't think we've seen this in the show before.

Pink had destructive tendencies It was a tantrum that hurt pink pearl after being denied a planet and gave her PTSD or something similar.

Maybe it was PD hurting Pink pearl that made the other diamonds realize she was a force to be reckoned with and that led to them giving into her demands and giving her Earth.

Seems like those destructive tendencies are starting to come out through pink Steven. Maybe the corrupted Steven theory is right?

Steven should really consider anger management but hey puberty will do that to you. Just kidding I am genuinely concerned.

Apparently the Pearls were both in denial and kept making excuses, never really accepting who PD really was. pink pearl kept saying "she didn't mean to hurt me" this is clearly a metaphor for abuse.

The crack must've been caused by her burying her feelings.

I swear rose/pink gets worse every episode I get she was abused herself but that's not a good enough excuse. Not saying I don't like pink diamond l just hate the things she's done.

I love how the two Pearls bonded over pink hurting them and how they never stopped hurting. it's so sweet and wholesome how can you not ship it? Pearl's gotta stick together.

PEARL FUSION SHE HAS A CAPE!!! SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN!!

I'm assuming the fusion's name is red pearl.

I can't tell if it's a different voice actor playing the pearl or if Deedee is speaking in a low voice.

They didn't show pink Pearl's eye so whether or not if it's healed is up for interpretation.

I think this is easily my favorite episode so far.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 18: Growing Pains (originally published on July 12, 2021)

AN: Welcome back everyone. Now, this is going to be a pretty heavy chapter for me to write. Well, mostly the A-plot, the B-plot will be courtroom nonsense ala Phoenix Wright and Harvey Birdman. But I'm getting off track, as someone who have faced some very tough times before in my life, I hope I can be as respectful to both the original episode and everyone who watched it as possible. Now then, let's get rocking and rolling.

Synopsis: Steven goes to his first doctor's appointment and realizes how deep his problems run.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Volleyball, Yellow Pearl

Grace Rolek as Connie

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Priyanka

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Charlyne Yi as Navy

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Zuli

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Amy Sedaris as Yellow Zircon, Blue Zircon

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Featuring Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

--

The day after his failed date with Connie, Steven stayed in his bedroom for most of the morning where he was surrounded by ice cream and watching the preview for a new Dogcopter movie, which showed the titular canine standing on top of a black car chasing a blue car and a mail van while a pug gave him orders.

"I know you're eager to catch the mail truck Dogcopter, but it's really a decoy!" the other dog at the wheel named Drew ordered Dogcopter. "Chase the blue car instead! Good boys chase the blue car, and you're a good boy Dogcopter!"

With a fearless expression, Dogcopter leaped off the black car and used the propeller on his back to fly towards the black car, followed by using a pair of extendable hands to open up the trunk, revealing a bomb and a ring box inside.

"Nice work DC, now get the bomb outta the trunk and off the bridge!" Drew congratulated Dogcopter. "We're almost out of time!"

However, it was too late for Dogcopter. The bomb went off as he tossed it off the bridge, and the resulting explosion blew him away. As Dogcopter collapsed on the bridge, the ring box fell from his mechanical hands and onto the asphalt.

"Dogcopter, no!" Drew cried as he burst from the car to keep his friend alive. "I can't lose you Dogcopter!" Luckily, Dogcopter was unharmed and he woke up to pop open the ring box, which contained a ring shaped like a dog bone that he presented to Drew. "Is that?"

"DOGCOPTER 6: TILL DEATH DO WE BARK: I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WOOF!" the announcer read the film's title as it appeared on the screen, making Steven groan in agony at the irony of the trailer he was watching.

"Everyone's getting married except me!" Steven yelled as he sank into his bed and started turning pink. "Even Dogcopter succeeded in popping the question! I feel like poop." Steven then picked up his phone and tried calling one of the Crystal Gems, but he unfortunately got no answer. "Wish the Gems weren't doing a field trip to Homeworld today. I wonder if they got any reception?"

--

Meanwhile, on the Gem Homeworld, it was a rather tense time. Following the exposure of Black Rutile's revolution and attempted massacre of the Crystal Gems, the citizens were in fear of who among them could still be a supporter of her. And three followers, in particular, were about to be put on trial.

Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth led their classes into the Diamonds' throne room, which was already set up like a courtroom with stands for the judge, jury, witnesses, attorneys, and the accused. Those accused were Holly Blue Agate, Morganite, and Navy, who sat down at the plaintiff's bench with varying expressions of irritation, resignation, and sadness.

"Now class, we want you all to be on your best behavior," Garnet advised the Gem students. "This is a serious time for our kind, and we want absolute silence for most of this trial. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Garnet." The Gems obliged before they retreated to the jury box while their teachers took their seats at the prosecutor's stand. That was when Garnet took notice of Pearl sticking her nose in the book by George Ikari that she had gotten at yesterday's signing.

"I see you're keeping yourself busy Pearl." Garnet remarked, forcing Pearl to look up from her book.

"Thanks for noticing Garnet." Pearl replied to the fusion. "I've just been a little enraptured by this little tome lately. George uses such flowery terms for such simple concepts, and the concepts in question could be very useful to Steven too."

"All y'all, shush!" Amethyst ordered her two seniors. "Here comes the judge!"

"All rise for the honorable Yellow Diamond!" Yellow Pearl announced, serving as the bailiff for this trial, before her former Diamond emerged from the curtained entrance and made her way to her throne.

"Good day to you Gems." Yellow Diamond greeted the other Gems in the makeshift courtroom with utmost seriousness. "In case you are wondering, Blue and White Diamond are out searching for more of Black Rutile's supporters, so I shall serve as sole judge for these proceedings." She informed. "Now without further ado, read the charges."

"Holly Blue Agate-12B, Morganite-8HK, and Ruby-EJ9, you stand here accused of your support of the intelligence officer turned terrorist Black Rutile." Yellow Pearl announced as she read off a hologram. "How do you all plead?"

"Not guilty!" Holly Blue declared, speaking on behalf of all three of them. "Black Rutile is no terrorist, she had big dreams for our kind! She simply wanted to restore us to our old ways because she believed Steven had made us weak, no doubt weak enough to be so easily conquered!"

"Liar. Kinda not surprised you would do this." Amethyst snarked in-between fake coughing, inciting a glare from the Agate before she continued her plea.

"If you can find it within yourself, your most grand clarity, to scrub this silly trial altogether and let us go, it would be most grand." Holly Blue continued.

"Request denied." Yellow declared coldly. "If you really insist on begging on your knees this whole time, then I guess your defense attorney might not be needed."

"Wait, attorney?" Amethyst wondered out loud just as a new Gem stepped into the room.

"Sorry for being so fashionably late, Yellow!" a tall, confident Gem apologized as she strode into the throne room. In addition to the honey yellow pantsuit with large diamond-shaped buttons she wore to match the gemstone above her upper lip that resembled a mole, a straight bob-cut, and a cat's tail emerging from her rear, this new Gem also wore a large sunhat, a neon fur coat, sunglasses, high heels, mustard yellow opera gloves, and a cigarette holder in her left hand. "Had to quell a few uprisings a few districts over. Hope you're not too mad."

"Oh goody." Bismuth shared the sentiments of her fellow Crystal Gems as they grimaced at the cat-like defense attorney, all except for Amethyst.

"Who's the new pussycat here?" Amethyst asked about the attorney.

"That's Cat's Eye, one of the most affluent uppercrusts on Homeworld." Bismuth informed the smaller Gem.

"And one of the most irritating." Lapis groaned as she buried her face in her hands.

"She's almost like an Earth cat in a way." Peridot added. "Incredibly smug, loves making others mad solely for her amusement, and that grin on her face just rubs me the wrong way."

"So Cat, how have you been lately?" Pearl asked the opposing attorney with a strained smile.

"Miserable, my darling Pearl. Perfectly wretched." Cat's Eye answered as she made her coat, hat and sunglasses disappear with a snap of her fingers, revealing a pair of cat ears atop her hair. "Now then, let us get down to business." With that, Cat's Eye took her place alongside the prosecuted trio and kicked her legs up on the table.

"Oh Cat's Eye, thank you so much for coming out today!" Holly Blue exclaimed gratefully. "These horrible traitors have framed us for a crime we clearly didn't commit, and now we could lose every-"

"Could you move approximately 30 centimeters away from me?" Cat's Eye raised a paw-like hand to Holly's face while filing her sharp nails. "You're invading my personal space." The Agate meekly complied and returned to her seat, causing Amethyst to laugh raucously.

"That cat may be trouble, but seeing Holly put in her place will always crack me up!" Amethyst cackled, but her chuckling was cut short when Cat's Eye turned her cigarette holder into a riding crop to whip Amethyst in the hands with. "MEOWCH! Bad kitty, what the H?!"

"Order in the court." Cat's Eye declared crossly as she returned her weapon to her gem and took a stand. "Now, without further ado, I'd like to make my case for these three Gems and call a witness."

"Go right ahead Cat's Eye." Yellow rolled her eyes before the cymophane made her plea.

"Your honor, Gems of the court, these three stand here wrongly accused by these band of ingrates for allying themselves with a known terrorist who once filled a high seat in White Diamond's court." Cat's Eye stated. "But, maybe they could've been spared this fate if the Crystal Gems had simply shown them a little kindness."

"OBJECTION!" Pearl yelled and pointed an accusing finger at Cat. "We tried to show Navy here kindness, but it was all a ploy to steal back her squadron's ship!"

"That is true." Navy agreed. "But I simply played nice because you left us all to drift forever in space, even after Steven said you'd get us all back!"

"I'll admit, she raises a good point." Garnet found herself agreeing with the Ruby. "We were in a rush to get back to Earth, so rescuing the Rubies just flew over our heads."

"I rest my case." Cat's Eye declared with a prideful smirk. "Now, if we have nothing else to discuss, I'd like to call Yellow Zircon to the stand."

The Gems in the gallery began muttering among themselves as Yellow Zircon sadly got up from her seat and marched to the witness's stand, while her blue counterpart gave her a cheeky grin. "Whatever you do," Yellow Zircon said to Blue Zircon. "don't make a fool out of me."

"Oh, I won't." Blue Zircon said innocently as Yellow Zircon made her way to the stands, where Cat's Eye sat down in front of her with a seductive gaze.

"Now my dearest Zircon, do try to not make a fool of yourself for me." Cat cooed, cupping the Zircon's face in her hand and squeezing her cheeks, making her usually arrogant witness blush.

"I-I won't." Yellow Zircon sheepishly obliged and sat down in the witness's box. "But how did you become an attorney? You don't know the first thing about law and order!"

"Well, I'm here because I'm smarter than you think I am!" Cat's Eye yelled at Yellow Zircon's face, a far cry from the smug seductress she presented herself as. "Not because I'm so gorgeous! Though I really am."

"This is going to take a while." Pearl groaned before picking up her book again. "I wonder how Steven is doing."

--

Back on Earth, Steven continued to scroll through all the numbers he had on his phone. Pretty much most of the people in his contacts had either already began to drift away from him, would probably be too busy to call, or simply didn't have time for him. All except for one.

"Hi, Steven!" Greg greeted his son on the other end after Steven decided to give him a call.

"Hi Dad, how's it going?" Steven asked his father.

"The tour's been going great!" Greg replied happily. "Which reminds me, how have you been doing? You been throwing any dope ragers while you got the house to yourself?"

"Yeah, you know me. Steven the party animal." Steven responded sarcastically. "I'm glad you're finally coming home tonight Dad. I wanna talk to you about something that's happened between me and Connie?"

"Oh, this isn't that whole situation after you came back from Homeworld the first time again, right?" Greg asked sympathetically. "By the way, Sadie and Shep wanna say hi while they're working on a new routine that they're excited to show off. And guess what? The tour got extended!"

"Wow, that's-that's great." Steven tried to sound happy for the musicians and their manager, but at the same time, he was sad that he'd have to wait a little while longer for his dad to come home.

"Yeah." Even if they were far apart, Greg could sense the disappointment in his half-alien son's voice before trying to turn things around. "I get that you want to see me again soon, but this manager job is working great for me! Takes me back to when I was touring as a lad. Anyways, we're gonna go through a tunnel. You wanna call me back about your Connie sitch?"

"I-it's not really important." Steven fibbed.

"You sure?" Greg asked Steven. "You know, I can make a quick stop when we pass through Delmarva."

"No, I'm totally fine. Have fun!" Steven reiterated before hanging up and letting out a deep sigh. "Maybe I should get some more ice cream."

Steven then walked down to the kitchen to fetch some more of that dairy goodness from the freezer, but when he opened the freezer door, he discovered Connie's glow bracelet left in there after last night. Taken by surprise, the depressed half-Gem once again turned pink, but this time was different.

This time, parts of Steven's body began swelling up like a balloon and tearing through his pajamas as he accidentally tore the freezer door off its hinges before slowly turning back to normal. As Steven was left aghast at this new development, he decided to take a breather on the couch. However, his body began swelling up for the second time in a row as Connie began calling him on his phone.

"I shouldn't worry her." Steven tried to hang up on Connie upon realizing her promise yesterday to call him at noon. "You know what, I'll let her go to voicemail!" Steven's body had other plans as his right arm began to inflate and took the call for him, allowing Connie to be seen on his screen while the arm returned to normal.

"Steven, are you there?" Connie asked through video call.

"Hey Connie, what's up?" Steven casually asked, trying to hide the strange new changes his body was going through.

"I've been worried about you Steven." Connie answered when she noticed how pink her best friend was. "Um, are you glowing?" she asked before Steven's face began to puff up. "Good grief, what's wrong with your face?!"

"Wait, my face?" Steven mumbled through his inflated head. "What's wrong with my face?"

"Uh…." Connie replied.

"Oh right, the swelling." Steven realized what his would've been-wife was talking about. "Parts of my body have been randomly growing for some reason. But I'm sure it doesn't hurt, I'm perfectly fine!"

"How long has this been happening?" Connie inquired.

"Since this morning." Steven meekly replied, causing his face to blow up some more.

"What do the Gems think?" Connie began pressing further.

"Can't reach them right now." Steven answered as his face returned to normal while the rest of his body kept growing. "Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were asked to serve as prosecutors for a trial on Homeworld, so they decided to make it into a Little Homeschool field trip." As Steven finished, his form returned to its normal size. "It's really nothing to worry about."

"You don't look well." Connie nervously observed. "I think you should see a doctor. I can ask my mom if she'd like to give you a checkup."

"I wouldn't want to bother her." Steven declared. "Besides, I already got a pretty okay idea of what doctors do when I went to see Lars in the hospital after his crash landing."

"Steven, you need to see a medical professional," Connie demanded. "Doesn't matter if my mom can see you or not, you need help."

"Okay, you're right." Steven accepted the opportunity while his face began to deform yet again. "Call me when she's ready."

--

Thankfully for Steven, Connie's mother had an opening and soon enough, Steven was sitting in her office with Connie by his side.

"You're lucky I had a cancellation today," Priyanka stated as she prepared for work. "Usually, I'm booked weeks in advance."

"Think you'll be able to help Steven out?" Connie asked her mother. "Even if this is some sort of Gem issue?"

"Gem issue or otherwise, he still has a human body, which means we can run tests." Priyanka remarked. "At the very least, we can see if you're suffering from a non-Gem condition, Steven."

"See? Everything will be fine." Connie assured Steven. "I'm sure everything will be fine." As Connie left the examination room, she began dialing on her phone and put it to her ear.

"Okay, give me all you got." Steven said reluctantly to the doctor.

"Alright, let's check for symptoms first." Priyanka said before putting a thermometer in Steven's ear to check his temperature. "Mild fever." She observed before walking away to pick up a stethoscope, returning to find that Steven is starting to once again glow pink. "Glowing pink color to the skin." Priyanka continued as she put the stethoscope to Steven's heart and then his gem. Next, she reached for a blood pressure device to check Steven's blood pressure, but it caused his arm to swell up and break the machine, causing his doctor to fall over in alarm.

However, Priyanka was quick to regain her composure as she looked over the notes she had taken. "Blood pressure is high!" she realized as she got up. "Well, these readings are quite interesting. Tell me, Steven, if you don't mind, who's your GP?"

"GP?" Steven wondered.

"Your general practitioner?" Priyanka explained to her patient. "As in, your regular doctor?"

"I guess you?" Steven answered confusedly. "I never have been to a doctor's appointment before, mostly because I have the Gems, my dad, or my healing spit to rely on whenever I get hurt."

"You're almost seventeen and you have never seen a doctor?!" a shocked Priyanka yelled, causing Steven to once again turn pink and inflate before she tried to calm him down. "I-it's okay, it's okay! I'll talk with your father later, but now we'll just need to run some more tests."

Steven looked nervously at Connie's mom as she walked over to a cupboard, opening it to fetch some hospital gowns. "Get undressed, then we'll help you into a gown." Priyanka ordered.

"Is that one of those blue things that don't cover your butt?" Steven asked embarrassedly before he was thrown a hospital gown.

"Yes, now let's get started." Priyanka declared before snapping on a rubber glove.

--

"Thank you for your testimony little Peridot." Cat's Eye thanked Squaridot, while licking the back of her hand, as the square-headed Peridot finished her testimony. "Tell us your designation so we may enter it into the records."

"Peridot, Facet-4E3M Cut-7ZY." Squaridot stated as she left the witness's stand and rejoined her classmates. "But everyone calls me Squaridot."

"Squaridot?" Cat's Eye repeated with utter disgust. "Who comes up with these abhorrent names?! I mean, Laz, Zuli, and now Squaridot?!"

"Would you care to get to the point?" Bismuth snarked to the catlike defendant.

"Gladly." Cat's Eye answered before clearing her throat. "Gems of this courtroom, the testimonies we have heard so far have given me enough to make my deduction." She announced to the courtroom. "These Crystal Gems are only kind to other Gems who treat them kindly in exchange. And that DOES, NOT, MAKE, SENSE!" She emphasized her declaration by slamming her fist into her open palm with each word. "If they say that they practice restorative justice, then why didn't they use that kind of justice on my clients here?"

"OBJECTION!" Amethyst yelled. "Girl, did you even see the Human Zoo back in the day?! Holly Blue was treating my quartz peeps like garbage!"

"That is because they were beneath her in the caste system!" Cat's Eye argued with Amethyst. "I swear you droll quartz, did you emerge yesterday or something?!"

"Actually, she was," Pearl answered for the purple Gem. "And you're just making stuff up in the hopes of sounding smart!"

"Do I have 'stupid' written on my gem, you no-good servant?!" Cat's Eye shouted at the white Gem, making sure to whip Pearl's hands for added emphasis. "Let's review what we have learned so far. Those two Lapis Lazulis retaliated violently when ordered to not terraform and their friend came close to poofing them both, yet 2F8D immediately forgot all that when coming to your silly little school!" she analyzed. "That does NOT, MAKE, SENSE!"

"Laz and I argued about going to Little Homeschool!" Zuli objected to Cat's Eye's observation. "An argument you obviously weren't there for-" Before Zuli could finish, she got a whip in the hands by Cat's Eye's riding crop.

"No backtalk!" Cat's Eye exclaimed as she returned to her statement. "Back on subject, then came Miss Squaridot here," she once again cringed at the name while gesturing to Squaridot. "who was given a second chance, yet was poofed without a second thought! That does NOT, MAKE, SENSE!"

"I tried to give Squari a second chance after I released her from her bubble," Peridot began. "but she then just ran off and got herself taken over by Hessonite's warship."

"Ah yes, the swashbuckling vigilante Hessonite." Cat's Eye said smugly. "Tell me, why isn't she here today to give a testimony?"

"Hessonite is off weeding out more of Black Rutile's supporters across many of our former colonies, alongside Citrine." Yellow Diamond answered.

"Speaking of Black Rutile, what if, and a very big if here." Cat's Eye stated. "What if Black Rutile wanted to do better than the Crystal Gems by offering these lost Gems a helping hand?"

"OBJECTION!" Pearl roared and once again pointed straight at Cat's Eye. "That no-good Rutile didn't care one bit for her subordinates! Not only did she let them all get defeated by us, but she abused her Topaz as well!"

"As I had stated earlier with Holly Blue, the Topaz was merely a subordinate to Black Rutile, especially since the Rutile had such a shockingly high status in White Diamond's court." Cat replied.

"Same with my Ruby and Pearl that fused into Rhodonite," Morganite spoke up. "It was only natural that we mistreated those beneath us."

"And on the topic of Pink Diamond's entourage," Cat declared. "allow me to call her former Pearl to the stand."

Rising from her seat, Volleyball separated from her Little Homeschool classmates to walk to the witness's stand, where Cat was awaiting her.

"My dear Pearl, you truly deserved a better Diamond than Pink." Cat cooed to Volleyball while stroking her broken eye, which was now showing the absolute faintest signs of a pupil following her fusion with her white-colored successor at the Reef. "Tell us all this court needs to know sweetie,

"Actually, you can call me Volleyball now." Volleyball corrected the defense attorney. "That's the name Steven gave me."

"VOLLEYBALL?!" Cat's Eye shrieked outrageously at the top of her lungs, quickly returning to her normal condescending tone. "I shouldn't have spoken too soon after complaining about that Peridot." She muttered while pointing a thumb over to Squaridot. "Now tell me, word on the street is that you may know a thing or two about this revolution. Is this true?"

"Yes, it's true." Volleyball revealed remorsefully, shocking the prosecutors and the jury. "Not too long after Era 3 began, I was left wondering what purpose I could still serve now that Pink Diamond was gone, until Black Rutile and Holly Blue Agate approached me with the chance to seek revenge by spying on their enemies."

"That is a bold-faced lie if I ever saw one!" Holly Blue fibbed while beginning to sweat profusely. "I never approached her in the slightest, the poor Pearl came crawling to me in tears, begging, no, pleading that she get some sort of payback for the abuse she suffered!"

"Really laying it on thick Holly." Morganite stoically muttered to the Agate.

"Yes, I can clearly see you lying." Pearl added before she walked over for Volleyball. "But as for you Volley, is it true? Did you really join Black Rutile and spy on us this whole time?"

"I'm truly sorry Pearl, they gave me no other choice." Volleyball apologized, now on the verge of tears. "I was so horrified by how they wanted to fight back against you, that I decided to back out after you and Steven offered to fix my eye." Volleyball then began to sob as she rushed out of the witness's stand and into Pearl's arms. "Please forgive me, I just didn't know any better!"

"It's okay VB, I'm here." Pearl comforted her crying fellow ex-servant. "Just let it all out."

"Wah wah wah, I betrayed your trust!" Cat's Eye mockingly cried. "Please forgive me even though I was allied with a proud sociopath! Oh brother, this era has lost all sense of justice. At least give her a week's punishment, anything."

"Big talk coming from the alleycat who doesn't have a single clue about justice." Pearl growled at Cat while Volleyball's tears started drying and she returned to the jury.

"Big talk coming from a Pearl who wanted to be free despite still essentially serving her Diamond." Cat snapped back at the Pearl. "And on that note, I feel we are ignoring the big Jasper in the room." Biggs Jasper raised her hand. "I wasn't talking to you!" Biggs lowered her hand while Cat kept a stiff upper lip. "But really, I wish to speak of a certain Jasper that has been housed on Earth lately."

"Here we go." Lapis rolled her eyes at whatever outlandish claims the defendant was going to make now.

"You see, the Jasper is just as much of a victim of Pink Diamond's faked death as pretty much everyone on this planet." Cat's Eye proclaimed. "And did the Crystal Gems ever try to extend a hand in friendship and sympathy? NO! They just let her get dragged to the bottom of the ocean in an unstable fusion, fall into an earthquake, rocketed sky-high by that Lapis, and later corrupted! That does-"

"Not make sense, we get it." Garnet interrupted what was essentially Cat's catchphrase at this point. "We tried so many times to help Jasper, but she just kept refusing out of her vendetta against Rose."

"And doesn't anyone find it ironic that Jasper has a burning hatred for a Gem that was her Diamond in disguise?" Cat shook her head with a cheeky smile. "Oh, how cruel fate can be."

"Good grief, how long can this puddytat keep yapping?" Amethyst whispered to Pearl, who just groaned and got back to her book.

--

As for Steven, Priyanka had gotten to work on examining her unusual patient. However, with each test she made him take, things just kept going wrong. Sticking a tongue depressor in Steven's mouth made him glow pink for the second time this appointment, taking his height stretched his neck up high, and testing his reflexes bubbled the hammer she was using. But it was taking Steven's X-rays that really clued Priyanka in on what was going on.

"So this is an average human skeleton." Priyanka demonstrated the X-ray image of exactly that to Steven before moving on to X-rays of the Crystal Gems. "By comparison, these are X-ray images that the Crystal Gems allowed me to take for research purposes. Their charts look like this."

Due to Gems having bodies of light, only their gemstones could be pictured. And in Amethyst's case, whatever she ate that day could be seen too. The doctor then showed off Steven's own skeleton, which was covered in cracks. "And this is your chart." Priyanka continued. "Definitely the skeleton of a human your age, albeit quite a large amount of fractures in the skull." She pointed out the various cracks that decorated Steven's skull. "Yet despite the injuries, everything is still perfectly aligned. Almost like the injuries healed just as fast as they were gained."

"That's good, right?" Steven nervously asked.

"Well, you've made miraculous recoveries," Priyanka replied. "but that doesn't change the fact that you've clearly been traumatized. You may have recovered physically, but what about mentally?"

"Are you saying there's something wrong with my brain?!" Steven cried as he glowed pink.

"Not wrong!" Priyanka assured Steven while kneeling to his gaze, turning his body back to its normal hue. "It's that adverse childhood experiences, or childhood trauma, can leave a lasting impact on how your body reacts to stress." She explained. "This can affect all kinds of development, social, emotional, and physical. When humans are in crisis, their brains release a hormone called cortisol. It can cause your heart to race, your muscles to tense, among other effects. I wonder if your body is perhaps reacting to the Gem equivalent of cortisol, if any. Steven, can you recall any childhood experiences that particularly stuck with you?"

"I can list so many." Steven stated before he began recounting some traumatic experiences. "It all started when I learned my favorite ice cream was discontinued around the same time I nearly got eaten by a bug monster. Then there were even more monsters that threatened my life, I got stuck in a bubble & nearly drowned, I made a new friend who nearly killed me; which is pretty often, I got turned into a giant pulsating blob of cat heads after an attempt at shapeshifting, got so old I nearly died, saw the Gems die multiple times, I woke up on a spaceship with a black eye, and more recently got tossed off a cliff."

"Steven, this is serious!" Priyanka yelled worriedly.

"That was only some of the earlier stuff!" Steven cried. "You really should've been there when I was tossed off the cliff. Black Rutile was a sociopath and proud of it!"

"I think all these experiences have subjected your body to an almost inhuman level of stress, and it's affected your ability to healthily react to new forms of stress." Priyanka deduced as Steven looked back on more harrowing experiences he's been through, from legitimately traumatizing moments to parts that would at first be seen as mere jokes or accidents. "You've been dealing with genuine threats to your life from such a young age, whether big or small, your body is responding to such minuscule threats like your life is always in danger!"

"But, why am I only swelling up now?!" Steven began fretting as he slowly felt his body change once more.

"Stress can be far less harmful when we have a circle of loved ones who can help you," Priyanka advised, causing Steven to flashback to yesterday evening's failed proposal. "Maybe if you've been drifting away from people who would've supported you, or if a recent experience had felt particularly off-"

Before Priyanka can finish, Steven began trembling in place while bolting from his chair before he began to swell up to possibly the biggest size he's ever been today, to the point of cracking the ceiling with a bash of his head.

--

"There are just some who don't want to be helped, and we try to respect that!" Pearl kept arguing with Cat's Eye while everyone else in the courtroom awkwardly spectating the event.

"And there are also some who you've forced to change without their consent!" Cat's Eye replied, baring her sharp teeth at the former servant. "Think of it, Black Rutile believed she could be a better ruler because she would take into account the feelings of everyone!"

"Are you sure you're not another one of her spies?!" Pearl asked, folding her arms and turning away from the defendant.

"I couldn't care less about what she's doing, I just think she raises many good points for a maniac!" Cat answered while her stuck-up image began cracking apart more and more, slowly revealing the petulant aristocrat underneath. "For example, in ending an oppressive empire, Steven created an even worse one where all who don't agree with him are deemed outcasts!"

"Steven is simply trying his best!" Pearl yelled back.

"You know, I am so glad that we invited our Homeschool classes, because this is way too much fun for just us three to get involved in." Amethyst whispered to the other Little Homeworld teachers.

"You're right, watching an uppercrust get humiliated puts a real big smile on my face." Bismuth grinned.

"They've been going on for too long." Morganite mumbled as her face was buried in the table. "Can't we just shut them up and reach a verdict already?"

"Well, if you're so loving towards Steven, then where is he now?" Cat's Eye asked one final question. "Did you actually care for him to begin with?"

"That is where you are absolutely wrong Cat." Pearl declared with a smug grin as she presented George Ikari's book to her opponent. "Steven is currently going through some tough times, and we're trying our best to help him thanks to this book from Earth. The author has a son much like Steven who lost his mother too, so he knows what he's talking about." With that, Pearl returned the book to her gem and took a bow. "Court adjourned."

It was here where Cat's Eye finally lost all control and lunged at Pearl with a mighty yowl. Gone was the smug and austere wannabe lawyer, and in with the furious predator going in for the kill.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" Cat's Eye shrieked as she wrestled with Pearl and kept trying to chomp at her face. "I AM CAT'S EYE, AND I WILL NOT BE TALKED DOWN TO BY A MERE PEARL!"

"Woo, catfight!" Amethyst cheered before Garnet put a stop to her revelry and prepared for a fight.

"Get ready Gems, we're in for a fight." Garnet declared while summoning her gauntlets, and the other Gems prepared for battle against the feral defendant. But fortunately for them, and unfortunately for Cat, the judge finally decided enough was enough.

"Okay, I've had enough sitting down and watching." Yellow declared fiercely before getting up from her throne and flicking a ball of electricity at Cat's Eye, making yellow lines course through her body and finally poofing her, leaving only her small gemstone to be collected by Yellow Pearl. "Now that that's settled, have we reached a verdict?"

"I believe so." Pearl responded after getting up and dusting herself off before turning to the other Gems. "What shall be decided?"

The Gems in the jury all rose up, their decision clear as day. "We, the jury, hereby declare Holly Blue Agate, Morganite, and Navy guilty as charged. In addition, Cat's Eye shall be tried for public assault of the prosecutors." Squaridot announced on the behalf of her classmates, to the horror of Holly Blue as she and her two compatriots were escorted away by Amethysts. While Morganite and Navy had resigned themselves to their fates, Holly was far less than pleased. In fact, she was furious.

"Get your hands off me, you no-good Kindergarten spawn!" Holly Blue shrieked at the Amethysts dragging her away by the arms before turning to the Crystal Gems with hatred in her eyes. "I hope you're happy Crystal Gems! Era 3 has destroyed this planet!" she yelled at the Gems. "Pretty soon, this planet is going to burn! We're all going to die! The Gem race shall be driven to extinction all because of you!"

As soon as Holly Blue was fully removed from the premises, all was finally quiet in the makeshift courtroom as the trial adjourned. Pearl let out a dramatic sigh as Garnet and Amethyst helped her back to her feet and walked her back to the prosecutor's table.

"Court is usually a lot more funny on TV." Amethyst remarked. "What Cat and Holly tried to do was just sad."

"Still, what if they're right?" Pearl moaned in exhaustion and grief. "What if we are soon to be our kind's downfall? Maybe we should've just ended colonization and left it at that."

"Don't get too down on yourself Miss Pearl." Blue Zircon lent some comforting words to Pearl. "You all tried the best you could, and that's all that should matter."

"Uh, can I go now?" Yellow Zircon shakily inquired to her fellow Gems, still reeling from being publically humiliated at the witness's stand.

"Yeah, you're dismissed." Blue Zircon told her fellow Zircon and turned back to Pearl.

"Yeah, we tried our best with Era 3, kinda like how we're trying our best with Steven." Lapis reiterated the other blue Gem's kind words. "Speaking of which, wonder how he's doing?"

"I'll go call him right now!" Pearl stated eagerly as she unsheathed her phone from her gem and began dialing Steven, but she got no answer. "Darn, no signal on Homeworld." She huffed in frustration. "Well, I hope he's doing fine."

--

Little did Pearl know, there was more than one reason why as to why Steven was unable to reach her, that reason being he was so stressed out, he was swelling up to a massive size.

As Dr. Laurie walked past the office Steven was in with a cup of coffee, he took one look at the giant pink boy, then back at his mug before dumping its contents into a nearby drinking fountain while Connie raced back to the office to aid her friend.

"Mom, what's happening?!" Connie asked her mother while they watched the inflating Steven fill up most of the doctor's office.

"I'm not sure dear, I just asked if he had any stressful experiences lately." Priyanka answered, trying to remain as calm in a crisis as possible while other doctors huddle around the window to watch what was happening, along with a man in sunglasses who seemed to blend in with the crowd.

"Steven, you don't think?" Connie then asked Steven.

"It's not you Connie, it's everything that's been going down lately!" Steven yelled as he grew larger and larger with every second.

"What is he talking about?" Priyanka asked, glaring at Connie.

"You haven't told your mom yet?!" Steven yelled.

"Told me what?!" Priyanka started yelling as well.

"It's not your fault Connie!" Steven tried to assure Connie amidst his growing stress. "But I still think you need to leave!"

"I refuse to leave your side!" Connie's mom fiercely declared. "This is a medical emergency!"

"Hey, you know one of us can take over!" one of the doctors watching Steven called from outside.

"No, he needs to be alone!" Connie stated. "I think anyone else being in here with him is making things worse!"

When Steven's height increased to the point of ripping his hospital gown, breaking the ceiling over him, and causing alarms to sound, the doctors took it as their cue to leave. "Point taken." That same doctor who suggested one of them take care of Steven realized before rushing away.

"Oh no!" Steven was in full-on panic mode now. If he grew any larger, the hospital would surely be destroyed. "Please, just go!"

"Steven!" Connie yelled sorrowfully.

"I just…" Steven began to cry before starting to get angry. "I CAN'T BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!" The Maheswarans braced for impact as Steven's screaming broke the window behind them when suddenly, Greg came barging into the office.

"Steven!" Greg called his son's name while Connie and Priyanka turned to notice him.

"Dad?!" Steven exclaimed while finally beginning to settle down at the sight of his father.

"I'm here for you kiddo!" Greg declared as he ran up to his giant son, turning to the Maheswarans who took it as their cue to leave the area as well.

"Come on Mom, let's give them some space." Connie said to her mother as they abdicated the office.

"Alright." Priyanka agreed and took her daughter's hand while Greg took Steven's side.

"How did you know I was here?" Steven asked Greg.

"Connie called me an hour ago." Greg answered comfortingly. "Plus, I was the only one she could reach since she told me the Gems were off in space today."

"Connie?" Steven called for his friend when she and her mother were outside. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Connie beamed and spoke to him through the broken window. "I'll come when you're ready."

"I'm so sorry Steven." Greg apologized to Steven. "If I had known, I definitely would've been a big help."

"It's alright Dad," Steven sighed. "you were super busy and I didn't know what was going on."

"Come on Steven, talk to me," Greg suggested. "Just you and me, father to son."

"I, well, um," Steven stammered before tears began welling up in his eyes again. "I tried proposing to Connie!"

"You what?!" Greg yelped in alarm. "Steven, aren't you a little too young to think about marriage right now?"

"I know." Steven kept on crying. "That's one of the reasons why she said no."

"Oh, Steven." Greg sighed.

"My body, it keeps reacting like it's always the end of the world." Steven kept on complaining tearfully. "I think I've nearly witnessed the end of the world so many times now, that everything that goes wrong for me just feels that extreme! I should be feeling happy these days, Earth is at peace and it's Era 3, but Black Rutile is still out there saying I'm a bad person and I'm swelling up over all these third-era problems! What do I do now?! How do I move on after every horrible thing that's happened to me?! How can I still live my life when every day it feels like I'm going to die?!"

Despite Steven being overcome with trauma to the point of sobbing, Greg was there to lend a hand like he always did. "It's going to be alright Schtu-ball." He said while holding his son's giant finger. "I'm here for you till the end of the line."

At long last, Steven finally calmed down and began to regress to his normal size, and he only had one request for Greg. "I just want to go home."

"You bet." Greg obliged, and Steven began to fetch his clothes while Connie and Priyanka stepped back into the office. "So, what's up doc?"

"This has certainly been an eventful appointment," Priyanka stated shakily. "Real eye-opener. As I'm sure your son has already told you, he has been through more stress than is normal for a human. I suggest finding ways to monitor these breakdowns."

"I'll see what I can do." Greg nodded while Steven returned to his side fully dressed when Connie gave Steven a big hug.

Outside the office, the doctor in the sunglasses from earlier peeked from behind a corner and spoke into an earpiece. "Giant boy crisis averted." He spoke in a deep voice to someone on the other end. "Yes sir, retrieving copies of the Gems' X-ray scans as we speak." Looking around to see if anyone had caught him, the man then took off his doctor's coat to reveal a black suit underneath and walked away with no one the wiser.

--

That night, Steven had been returned home and taken to bed, where Greg had prepared him a warm cup of tea and a sympathetic ear to his son's plight.

"I guess I thought I could follow Connie to college." Steven explained to his dad while sipping the tea. "Like, if we got married, I'd know what to do with myself for once. But turns out I still gotta figure everything out on my own."

"Cut yourself some slack, kiddo." Greg smiled earnestly. "It's okay to be worried and make mistakes when figuring out what to do with life, nothing unusual. Okay, maybe turning pink and the swelling is kind of unusual, but I'm sure the Gems will know what to do. And if you want to be a giant boy, I can lend you the carwash to take a shower in."

"Yeah, that's the thing." Steven revealed calmly. "I haven't told the Gems everything yet because I don't want them to worry so much, just like the old days when I was just some little kid who was way over his head." That was when he made a realization and spat out his tea. "Wait Dad, your tour!"

"Don't worry about me." Greg assured his son. "Shep and Sadie will be fine on their own. Just get some rest Steven; you can't just solve every problem in one night. Speaking of the Gems, where are they?"

Just then, the father and son heard the Warp Pad activate from Steven's conservatory, and the Crystal Gems marched into his room utterly exhausted from the trial they had just returned from.

"If I meet another Gem like Cat's Eye ever again, I swear I'm going to freak!" Pearl yelled with her hands buried in her face when she noticed Steven and Greg in the same room. "Oh, good evening you two. How was your day?"

"Nothing really special you guys." Steven fibbed. "Nothing at all."

--

So ends Growing Pains. Have to say, this might be one of the longest chapters of Alternate Universe yet, probably because of the B-plot. How hateable did you think I made Cat's Eye? I specifically wrote her with Cruella de Vil and Franziska von Karma in mind. And speaking of despicable characters, next chapter has Steven facing quite possibly his greatest challenge yet: making Kevin a better person. Oh, this should be fun.

[dogcopter]

Rose is Lion Theory

Before Steven Universe Future ends, a consolidation of sprawling Rose Quartz endgame speculation into one post. Structured for story sense, but pulling from all points of canon throughout for context:

Mechanics/powers

Lion: secrets and behaviors

Suspicious characters, dreams and stuff

Future/speculation and arc implications

TL;DR: Maybe if she has the same abilities Steven does, Rose Quartz gave up her physical form to Steven, but did not die in the sense that her personality still exists somehow. Using the same sort of astral projection powers Steven has demonstrated, Rose has continued to watch over her son in secret after changing her identity, like she did when staging Pink Diamond’s shattering. 

Image and text heavy. Potential spoilers for Steven Universe Future up to Bismuth Casual - This is long and I may add a few things to it.

Lion’s introduction in Steven’s Lion.

After they meet in the desert, Lion follows Steven home.

Lion approaches Steven after he lifted up his shirt, exposing his gem, so it’s possible he recognized Rose Quartz’s son. However, the Gems had never met Lion, and didn’t know he was connected to Rose.

From Steven’s Lion:

Steven: Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are coming. Quick, put my head in your mouth! Pearl: Steven! What is that? What are you doing?

From Rose’s Scabbard:

Pearl: Does Lion have something to do with Rose? Amethyst: Ohh, of course! That’s why he’s pink!

...

Pearl: No, Rose didn’t have a lion, because if Rose had a lion I would have known about it!

How does Lion know where the Crystal Gems live? Where they’d take a corrupted Gem after destroying its physical form?

Lion doesn’t know where to find Steven/the Pink Diamond gem innately. In Jungle Moon, Stevonnie has to call Lars in order for him to find them, and Lars and Lion have identical powers from their pink revival.

Lars: Keep searching! We're not giving up on them, no matter what! Stevonnie: Lars! Hey Lars! Hey! Lars: There you are! We've been looking all over for you!

And Lars and Lion have the same magic abilities. Per SU podcast “The Fantasy of Steven Universe”

Anything Lion can do, Lars can do.

It’s possible Rose told Lion about the Gems and how to get to Beach City and where they live, but it’s likely he has never been there if they had no clue about him. He warps straight to the Temple.

The generally accepted explanation for Lion’s behavior is that Rose masterminded Lion’s knowledge and prepared for him to tell Steven everything, or at least told him her life story in enough detail, perhaps confiding in him, that his level of knowledge would make sense. 

Almost anything Lion does can be explained that way, but Lion being Rose makes more sense as an explanation. After all, she was known for being secretive.

From A Single Pale Rose:

Rose: No one can ever find out we did this. I never want to look back.

From Now We’re Only Falling Apart:

Sapphire: She lied to us! She lied about everything!

From Rose’s Scabbard:

Garnet: Rose kept many things secret, even from us.

From Steven’s Dream:

Greg: There were some things your mom didn't like to talk about. I never pressed her for details.

Mechanics

How is it possible for Rose to be Lion? Steven’s mysterious extra OP astral projection/dream/possession spirit powers that came up again in In Dreams.

Rose’s absence is consistently described as “giving up her physical form”.

Body swap: Steven controls other organic beings in Super Watermelon Island, The New Lars, and Escapism.

Dream travel, lucid dreaming, and dream TV: Steven is able to travel in his dreams and talk to others in Chille Tid (Lapis while fused in Malachite), affect the content of other people’s dreams Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service (Kiki’s recurring nightmare), change his own dreams and broadcast and record them in In Dreams (Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction)

Astral projection/”psychic ghost thing”: In addition to astral projecting in the above forms, Steven travels from Homeworld to Earth via astral projection in Escapism, and confronts the Diamonds via astral projection in Reunited. They can’t see him, but can perceive an “aura”.

If Steven can do this, and this ability was familiar to the Diamonds, Rose may be able to do these things as well. Steven’s ability to take over organic bodies explains Rose using Lion’s body because they’re related powers, which is made clear in Escapism when Steven astral projects to find Earth and ends up in a Watermelon Steven body far from home.

When does Lion act like Rose?

Secrets

The following section are things Lion knows that only Rose, or only Rose and Pearl know, including locations related to Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond. 

Secret: Lion

Went over this above. Gems didn’t know about Lion himself.

Secret: Armory

Pearl: You must be thinking of someplace else. I’m the only other Crystal Gem that’s witnessed the Armory’s magnificence before now. Steven: Nuh-uh, Lion showed me.

On one of their first adventures together, Lion brings Connie and Steven to a place only Pearl and Rose knew about. 

He also seems to know how the Armory works; he encourages Steven to activate the controls and doesn’t let the kids bail on training. Pearl had to climb a cliff to bring Steven there.

Secret: Mane

Lion’s mane contained Bismuth, Rose’s Crystal Gem keepsakes, including the sword that Pearl hadn’t seen. and keepsakes from Greg. 

When Steven finally unbubbles Bismuth in Bismuth and frees her from the mane, Lion immediately looks at the Crystal Gems’ reaction.

The mane also held the tape “For Steven”; “For Nora” was abandoned in the desert. Rose gave up her physical form before she could have known the baby’s sex, as Greg explains in Lion 4: Alternate Ending.

Greg: When you have a kid, you have no idea who they’re gonna be. Even Garnet couldn’t predict it. That’s what was so exciting to your mom, that life is full of so many possibilities, and you would get to explore them for yourself. I mean, you could be Steven or Nora or anyone else. And you can always change your name; hey, I did.

Lion is able to remove the sword from his mane in Lion 2: The Movie, meaning he may have had both tapes in the mane at one point, ejecting the Nora tape after meeting Steven. Not necessarily something he’d have to be Rose to do.

Secret: Scabbard & Battlefield

Lion finds Rose’s scabbard immediately at the battlefield. From Rose’s Scabbard:

Pearl: That’s the scabbard for Rose’s sword!

Lion also knows where to find Pearl when she gets upset; the battlefield where the scabbard was abandoned. Even though Pearl introduces the location like this:

Pearl: This was the site of a historic battle. Every weapon here was left by a Gem over 5,000 years ago. I don’t like to disturb it, but Garnet said we can’t just leave these lying around.

Later, when Pearl is upset, Steven asks Lion:

Steven: Do you know where she went? Lion: growl Steven: I’m going to assume that means you do.

...then he warps Steven to the battlefield. After Steven chases her to a floating island, Pearl then says:

Pearl: Do you remember this place? Do you have any of her memories? We were right here, over 5,000 years ago.

Pearl recreates the moment she and Rose chose to stay on Earth forever. Another location specific to Rose and Pearl.

Secret: Moon Base

Lion warps Steven to the Moon Base in both It Could’ve Been Great and in Can’t Go Back. The Galaxy Warp was destroyed pre-corruption, so unless Rose wanted to visit and gave excellent warp directions, Lion could not have visited it before. But Rose spent some time there as Pink Diamond!

Secret: Landfill/Pink Diamond

Lion brings Steven to the landfill in Lion 4: Alternate Ending, when Steven is paranoid about his magical destiny.

He was excited to get Steven into the mane in Lion 3, but in Lion 4 he’s reluctant to answer Steven’s questions, and acts much more subdued and serious than usual when they get there. 

He brings Steven to Greg to have his questions about “For Nora” answered, but leaves before Greg sees him. 

One other thing that’s slightly different between “For Steven” and “For Nora” is Rose’s monologue in the tape. Two sections are slightly different. One of them is this:

“For Steven”:

Steven, we can’t both exist.

“For Nora”: 

Nora, we can’t both exist, but I won’t be gone.

The other revelation in the landfill is Pink Diamond’s ship. Its location was known only to Rose, Pearl didn’t know there was still a working ship on the planet. From Space Race:

Pearl: It’s fine. I’ll always have my memories of other worlds. But now I’m here. On Earth. Forever.

Rose’s identity as Pink Diamond was a secret. In Legs From Here to Homeworld all it takes to activate the ship is an incidental touch from Steven:

Lion must have known bringing Steven to look for answers here would risk Steven discovering Rose’s secret identity?

Behaviors

Rose is not necessarily Lion full-time; Lion is a revived lion with the same powers as Lars. 

Lion’s relationship to Connie or Steven isn’t in this post, although it’s significant to both of them; Connie, Steven, and Lion have closely related character arcs, but in terms of the theory I’m sticking to characters Lion would have known as Rose or as Pink. I do have this brief post about Connie knowing Lion and Steven well enough to figure out Rose is Lion.

Garnet is also missing from this post because Lion has spent suspiciously little time around Garnet, presumably because Rose knows how her future vision works.

Lion’s interactions with other characters:

Behavior: Amethyst

Lion seems to like Amethyst! He’s particularly affectionate with her, and she’s affectionate with him. They’re shown in the background being cuddly a few times. Amethyst feels an instant connection.

(Is this a family photo?)

Lion also keeps an eye on Amethyst's reaction during Cry For Help, while Steven is distracted by Sardonyx’s whimsy;

Behavior: Pearl

Notable Pearl and Lion scenes. In Lion 3 they watch Steven sleep together.

In Scabbard they interact a lot and it’s interesting. He’s amused by Pearl taking the scabbard from him and annoyed at being shooed away.

Then he’s mad at her for trying to get into his mane.

We don’t get to see his face once when Pearl gets upset in the living room, but when Steven asks where Pearl went...

Lion knows exactly where to take him, and feels strongly about it.

He lets Pearl put the sword in his mane and ride on his back at the end of the episode.

He has some reactions in the movie, like after Pearl sings her incredible verse about moving on from Rose, Lion wakes up with this look on his face

He also hangs around Greg and rejuvenated Pearl, although his face isn’t shown much.

Behavior: Greg

Lion loves hanging out with Greg! 

Lion’s notable scenes with Greg include: that time he took Steven back to fight with the Crystal Gems in The Return, and then hid before Greg could see him in Full Disclosure. 

Is this a family photo?

And at the very end of the series, the time he shows up to face Greg with a badly injured Watermelon Steven.

Greg greets him with a smile before he sees Steven - maybe Lion’s shown up to spend time with him before?

Character development. And of course in the movie, Lion gives Greg a little kiss in a Crystal Gem groupshot. Very cute!

Behavior: Diamonds

Lion has a visible reaction to the Diamonds and seems to understand their power, even though he would never have encountered them before.

In Reunited, Lion tries his hardest and he’s the first to charge Blue Diamond after a teamwork. 

Makes sense for Rose to be angry with Blue

Also in Reunited, Lion is the only character who keeps an eye out for Yellow Diamond after the Cluster knocks down her ship.

In Legs From Here to Homeworld, Lion is making a face for most of the episode. He is not happy about this new development (asking White Diamond to help with corruption)

In Escapism, when Steven asks for help against White Diamond, Lion looks unusually worried.

He looks a little judgy when the Diamonds and Spinel sing in the movie.

Behavior: Spinel

Lion allows Spinel to ride around on his back, but he also shoots her dirty looks, 

and leaves her behind at the Sadie Killer concert.

If Rose is Lion, oof. But hey, still in character based on past behavior!

Behavior: Jasper

We don’t know the nature of Rose and Jasper’s relationship, and Lion doesn’t interact with her much, but Lion is there to witness Malachite’s fusion.

In Crack the Whip we get a few Jasper clues. He reacts to mention of Jasper’s name at the beginning.

He also seems big mad at Jasper, who spends the whole time aggressing at Steven under the impression he’s Rose.

Curious to see if this comes back when we get to hear Jasper’s story in Future.

Unresolved Mysteries

Some things about Lion and about Rose that still lack answers and could affect this:

What Lion and Rose’s relationship looked like

how he died and was revived by Rose’s abilities.

Desert Glass gem. 

The lizards he eats

Whether or how it’s even possible Rose gave up her gem to Steven while continuing to exist as a separate entity on the astral plane like this.

Suspicious Characters, Dreams & Stuff

Galaxy brain: if Rose is Lion, what’s to say she doesn’t have the other abilities Steven has? 

Steven has Pink Diamond dreams when he needs the information in the dream. When animal sidekicks appear they lead him to his goals. If Lion is a mysterious animal sidekick who appeared just to be Steven’s friend, and he’s secretly Rose, what other convenient animal sidekicks are suspect?

If he doesn’t have a magical destiny, but does have a magical, secretive mom who can astral project and hijack organic bodies, maybe she’s been lending him a hand here and there.

The only time the mask slips is in Storm in the Room.

Steven: And that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? Did you just make me so you wouldn’t have to deal with your mistakes? Is that all I’m here for?

Rose: Steven, you know that isn’t true. In the tape I left you, I told you how much I wanted to have you and let you exist.

Ghosts

There are a few characters I call “suspicious ghosts” who aid Steven along his journey. They only exist to be convenient to Steven, even though Steven doesn’t have a magical destiny, and might be Rose:

Tiny Floating Whale: Has Susan Egan’s voice and appears before Steven hears her voice in Lion 3

Baby Melon: Is friends with Steven, punches Steven to draw the ire of the other melons and sacrifice himself.

Dream Dogcopter: Leads Steven to Lapis when he’s looking for Malachite. Tells Steven to “take a deep breath” when Lion is trying to get him in his mane.

Melon Dogs: Shows Steven Malachite is near Mask Island. Tries to distract and entertain Steven when he’s trapped in Pink Diamond’s tower.

Maybe Pink Steven? Maybe Cactus Steven? (They could be more Rose ghosts, given the way they behave, but could also be exactly what they appear to be)

Dreams & Memories

Like Lion, Steven’s dreams also seem to help him out with information his mom would have.

Steven’s Dream: Steven asks Greg if his mom ever talked about Pink Diamond, Greg tells Steven that Rose didn’t tell him about her past. Steven has a dream of crying in front of the palanquin, prompting him to search for answers there.

Jungle Moon: Stevonnie is stranded on one of Yellow Diamond’s Moon Bases and has a dream that is partially a memory of Pink Diamond’s. Using the code they see in the dream, they are able to unlock YD’s console and call for help.

Can’t Go Back: Steven dreams of Pink Diamond trying to save Earth and Pearl with Rose’s sword, prompting him to speak to Pearl and uncover her secret.

Masterpost of suspicious ghosts that goes into slightly more detail.

Rose’s Characterization

From Storm in the Room:

Steven: I finally know the truth. I know what you are! You’re a liar! I thought you’d never want to hurt anyone, but you hurt everyone! How could you just leave Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl and Dad? They don’t know what to do without you! Maybe they didn’t matter to you as much as hiding the mess you made!

My read of Rose choosing to be Lion but not tell the others is because she cared about them, but like other things she’s done, that doesn’t change the fallout.

The good news: If Rose is Lion, and she is still around in some fashion, if she can only overcome this pattern of behavior and face the truth... then, like everyone else in Steven Universe, she has a chance to change!

But... 

Lion is pink because he’s like Lars: Yes. See above. I’m not claiming there’s an alternate explanation for Lion’s appearance or abilities, or contradicting his behaviors. It’s just that Rose is using his body.

Lion knows everything because Rose told him: I don’t think this makes sense given what we know of Rose. I don’t mind being wrong if there’s a better explanation.

Rose is dead My only response to this objection is yea, as far as we know, but there’s enough supporting detail not explained in other ways that I believe the theory has merit. It’s not like SU hasn’t misdirected us before.

Future Speculation

In the Steven Universe Future premiere, although Steven really doesn’t want to think about what she did anymore (and who could blame him?) we get a little bit of new Rose lore. Shy Rose Quartz.

I think this is Rose. I don’t know how she managed it, but I think we’ll learn soon. With the possibility Rose is Lion, and can inhabit other bodies, the whole vibe of Rose Buds changes. Here is a post dedicated to that: Shy Rose is Steven’s Mom. That’s all. From A Single Pale Rose:

Rose: Convincing? Pearl: Very much so, my DIamond. Rose: Soon it will be just Rose.

In Volleyball it’s also explained that she traumatized her former Pearl, and that Rose changed her behavior so much that it’s like Pearl and Volleyball knew two different people.

One last thing: Steven’s arc.

From I Am My Mom:

I get it now. I’m the only one who can stop what she started. I can stop all of it!

From Reunited:

Now all that’s left of her exists in me, and I think that we can all agree: that is a little bit upsetting. I’d rather think about a wedding!

From Storm in the Room:

No, I’m sure you meant it. I get it. I know you didn’t want me to deal with your problems. You’re a part of me now. I have to deal with what you left behind.

From “Happily Ever After”:

Once upon a time, I thought I’d always be in my mother’s shadow Answering for her crimes, I thought I’d always be in an endless battle

From the end of the movie:

There’s no such thing as happily ever after. I’ll always have more work to do.

Steven has a tough relationship with his mom by now. 

Like when she said “We can’t both exist,” recently called back in Rose Buds. 

From Storm in the Room:

In the tape I left you, I told you how much I wanted to have you and let you exist. Do you think what I said to you in the tape was a lie?

If you entertain this theory as plausible given the lore, the implications change; what if Rose isn’t gone? What if she’s not half of him? What if at least part of that tape was just another lie?

And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary; you’re going to be a human being.

Steven has internalized a lot from when he was young. His best friend Lion has been there for him. We’re also seeing the ways his childhood trauma has manifested in coping behaviors and automatic reactions from his gem, not unlike his mom before him. 

Right now, in Future, mid-breakdown - how would Steven react to such a paradigm shift?

Thank you for reading! I know this is a lot. 

[zephyrthejester]

Ah... Looks like the place has actually been abandoned. Recently, I mean. I... I mean... I guess... Uh... But let’s say, hypothetically, making new Pearls doesn’t, like, kill the planet like making new Gems does. Why stop? I mean, technically there’s never been a worthy reason for the Gempire to make any new Gems, save to replace those irreparably damaged. Like, until we know for sure if the Gempire is fighting a space war elsewhere or something (which I sincerely doubt at this point), Gems were being made for the sake of it. They’re immortal beings and there are probably trillions of them out there. Quadrillions? Don’t need to worry about keeping the species alive.

So yeah. If there really are dormant Pearls here just ready to go, then by all means, Steven! Set ‘em free!

Though that’s far from what’s on his mind right now. He’s charging straight ahead, guided by the station AI whose name is “Shell,” to the room where Pearls are repaired. Cool! That sounds suspiciously easy. However, Steven’s driving motivation is to hurry this all up so he can put the past behind him...

Oh, Steven. He really needs to learn that the past needs to be accepted. He may be sick and tired and disgusted by every new detail about his mother that comes his way, but he owes it to himself and the people she hurt to take it all in.

Steven has his own harsh truth to face, and right now it’s clear Pearl does too.

We’ve known this for a while now. Volleyball was Pink Diamond’s first and favorite. Before, at least, Pink Diamond descended to live on Earth and began her journey into becoming a new person.

Volleyball was customized just to Pink’s whims. Volleyball was treated to accessories like this ribbon wand. And our Pearl? The second Pearl. The consolation prize. Left on default settings. Not wanted.

I wonder if Pearl’s ever realized that before. If not, she’s about to soon.

Also. Also also? Is it just me or are they giving us... Dare I say it... Shipping fuel? Between Pearl and Volleyball, I mean. Like, at this point? I started shipping Peridot and Amethyst for less than what’s goin’ on between Pearl and Volleyball this episode. Not to imply I’m gonna start shipping them, for I have precise gut feelings when I do deign to ship.

[artemispanthar]

Tentative Title: Movie Date Originally written: 09/12/16 Word Count: 3,119 Intended plot: Pearl goes on a movie date with Mystery Girl.

Notes: Extremely self-indulgent Pearl/Mystery Girl ship fic written shortly after “Last One Out of Beach City” aired. I was actually super motivated to finish this one but the fall of 2016 was when I got really, really sick and almost died so it unfortunately fell to the wayside and I never got to pick it back up. This is a pretty good example of how I usually write, though, as I usually end up writing the beginning and end of a story first, write in the scenes I have a clear picture of, and then fill in the spaces inbetween. Since this is unfinished, it kinda just jumps between scenes midsentence, so I’ll indicate the scene changes with a — mark

I’m kinda tempted to finish this one too. It’s self-indulgent to the point of it being embarrassing but that made it really easy to write

Side note: You may or may not recall my big rambly post (here) about a fictional horror series called Helltel from a few years back. Well, it was developed entirely due to this fic and tbh it’s likely none of the information I made up was even going to come up in it, I just got carried away lol

It had been several weeks since the night of the rock show and Pearl had already experienced more of Earth and human interaction in that short time than in the last 6000 years she’d spent on the planet. Sure, it was mostly house parties and bonfires, but it was all so different and new and exciting. Part of her wanted to kick herself for not exploring this side of Earth life before, but another, more rational side told her she could never have experienced this way before now. She certainly wouldn’t have felt so comfortable shamelessly flirting with that mystery girl she’d met at the show, and that was really what made those social outings so enjoyable.

Pearl had seen the girl a total of three times after getting her number. The day after the show, after working up her nerve (and goaded on by Amethyst) she borrowed Steven’s phone and gave the girl a call. They finally exchanged names (hers was Sheena, which Pearl thought was lovely) and compliments. Pearl found her just as captivating on the phone as she was in person. After that initial call, Sheena began sending her texts, which Steven explained as short written messages people exchange on phones. They texted back and forth for a day (mostly idle chatter) before Greg stopped by and gave Pearl a new phone. He had said it was so she didn’t have to keep asking to borrow Steven’s and also “for privacy”, whatever that meant. Pearl had refused at first, but Greg insisted, “We can call it a late payment for when you fixed the van. Besides, what’s the point in having money if you can’t share it?”

 —

Pearl was shaken from her musings by someone tapping her in the back. She jolted slightly, startled, and turned to see a short woman with blonde hair. The woman took half a step back, pulling her arm away.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just wanted to ask if this was the line for the Splatterday event.”

“Oh, uhm…” Pearl looked around. She wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. But there was only the one line, so it had to be, right? “Yes, I think so.”

“Ah, thanks!” The woman said, giving Pearl an appreciative nod and a warm smile. Pearl smiled back. As she went to turn away, the woman spoke again.

“Hey, aren’t you one of Steven’s… uhm, one of the Gems Steven lives with? You're… Pearl, right?”

Oh! That’s why this human looked so familiar, she was a friend of Steven’s! She was one of the donut children from that donut shop Steven liked. She was the nice one, who was always kind to Steven.

“Yes! And you’re from the donut shop, correct?”

“Right! Are you here with Steven? Because I don’t think they’re going to let him in… Or is this a Gem thing? Should we evacuate the theater?” The woman laughed awkwardly, half-joking, half-completely serious.

“Oh, nono, it’s completely safe, especially with me here. And Steven’s at home, I’m actually here with…” Pearl said turning to point out her companion. As if on cue, Sheena was already on her way over. She stopped beside Pearl and handed her a small piece of paper.

“Here’s your ticket. Looks like they’re showing Helltel four and five tonight.”

“Oh dear, would I have had to have seen the first three for it to make sense?”

“Naw, they’re not gonna make sense anyway.” Sheena laughed, putting her hands in her pockets and nodding toward the woman Pearl had been talking to. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh! Sheena, this is… uhm…” Pearl paused as it suddenly occurred to her she didn’t actually know this woman’s name, and though her knowledge of human social etiquette wasn’t the greatest, she was pretty sure calling her “the Donut Child” would definitely be peculiar.

Mercifully, though, the woman interjected.  “Sadie.”

“Yes, right, Sadie! She lives next door to the temple.”

“Well, I don’t live there, I work there. But I’m there so often it does kinda feel like I live there.” The woman, Sadie, laughed. “It’s the Big Donut. I think I’ve seen you in there sometimes, actually.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sheena said, nodding. “Cool place. Decent coffee.”

“Thanks, it comes from a big bag in the backroom.” Sadie said, causing both Sheena and herself to laugh. Pearl didn’t really ‘get it’, but laughed as well.

 —

They followed the crowd into a long, narrow room with a large screen. It had an aisle running down the middle toward the screen with about fifteen rows of four seats on either side of the aisle. After looking around for a moment, Sheena led Pearl to a row of seats to the left of the aisle, five rows from the back. Sheena motioned for Pearl to sit first, and she shuffled into the narrow space between the rows to get to her seat. She then paused, perplexed. The seats were very peculiar, they had normal fabric covered backs but the seats of it were strange, narrow columns that didn’t look at all comfortable to sit on. Nothing Pearl couldn’t handle, of course, so she went about trying to perch on the awkward seat, which proved rather difficult as it wobbled terribly. Then she heard a snort to her right as Sheena stifled a laugh.

“You gotta push the seat down and then sit on it. Like this.” To demonstrate, Sheena pushed down on the odd column on the seat closest to the aisle, causing it to fold out into a typical-looking cloth-covered seat. She then sat down on it, settled in, and gestured for Pearl to try. Pearl looked at the seat in front of her and gingerly pushed down on the folded seat. It folded out into a seat just as Sheena’s had. Pearl released her hold on it and it snapped back into its original, folded position. Fascinated, she pushed it down and released it a couple more times. It creaked audibly but otherwise seemed to operate perfectly. Finally, she sat down on it, testing her weight on it.

“Oh, it folds up when not in use to make space and it folds out for use, with one’s weight keeping it down. That’s very clever!” Pearl marveled. It was a simple mechanism, but she was always impressed by what humans were capable of building. Primitive, compared to Gem technology, of course, but humans always seemed to figure out ways to make what they needed or clever ways to engineer something to make it more useful. That was probably her favorite thing about humans. In the beginning they had nothing and they figured out how to make everything they needed, taught themselves how. In this way they kind of reminded her of… well, herself.

“Yeah, I guess it is kinda clever.” Sheena said, amused. She leaned on the armrest between them. “Y’know, you’re really cute when you geek out about this stuff. Makes me think about stuff different than I used to.”

“Oh! Well, I’m happy to hear that

 —

The room got louder and louder as more people continued to pour into the theater, taking seats and idly chatting. A human couple squeeze by Pearl and Sheena, murmuring ‘excuse me’s, and took the seats just to Pearl’s left. Pearl’s nerves prickled and she removed her arm from the armrest between her and the stranger, shifting slightly to be closer toward Sheena. She bounced her leg and absently scratched at the worn fabric on the armrest to her right. Pearl didn’t mind the crowds, really, she had expected it and prepared herself for it. But the noise level rising, the heat from all the bodies, the bright fluorescent lights, and the feeling of being boxed in… it was just a bit much all at once. It brought up unpleasant feelings and memories. She shook her head to dispel them, she wasn’t going to dwell on the past and ruin the evening,

“Are people going to be able to hear the movie with all this noise?” Pearl muttered.

“They’ll be quieter once the lights are off. It buggin’ you?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Pearl said. After a few seconds, she felt Sheena’s hand rest on her own. She stopped scratching at the armrest and turned her wrist so she could hold Sheena’s hand. It was comforting. She bounced her leg at a slower pace.

“Y’know, we could leave if you’re not feeling it.”

“No, no, I’m alright. I want to do this. I’m just nervous.”

“Hmm. Do you want to switch seats? You could be on the aisle, just get up and go if you need to.”

“Oh,” Pearl looked around. Maybe it would help to have that option. “Could we? If it’s alright with you.”

“Psh, yea, I’m cool wherever.” Sheena said, letting go of Pearl’s hand and standing up. She stepped into the aisle to allow Pearl to move over to her seat, then squeezed by Pearl and sat down.

Pearl sighed. It was such a little change, but it really did make her feel much better. She didn’t feel boxed in anymore, having that free space to her side was doing wonders.

“Thank you, this is much better. Sorry for being a bother.”

“Eh, it’s nothing. Sometimes you just gotta feel like you can go whenever. That’s what I like about my bike, I used to have a car but it always made me feel like I was stuck.”

“Oh? I’ll have to try that out sometime. I used to get that feeling when I’d pilot spaceships but… well I don’t get much opportunity to do that these days.”

Sheena laughed. “Well, I doubt it’s gonna feel like flying a spaceship. But it is pretty cool anyway. I could take you for a ride on in sometime.”

“Oh! That would be lovely. I-” Pearl stopped talking and sat up straighter when the lights suddenly turned off. The large screen lit up and after flickering for a few seconds began running advertisements for the theater.

Sheena leaned over to Pearl and whispered “It’s about to start, so we can’t talk too loud.” Pearl nodded. She did know that much (she got the run down of movie theater etiquette from Steven) but appreciated that Sheena thought to tell her.

The screen turned black and slowly faded into an image of a dilapidated hotel on a hill, shrouded in fog. Rain battered the building in a way that was clearly not actually rain, probably some sort of sprinkler set up. It looked very fake, in Pearl’s opinion. The movie cut to the interior of the building

—

Pearl turned to walk away, then turned back. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Sheena, wait.”

“Yea?” Sheena paused, her helmet partially on her head. She took it back off and hung it on the handle of her motorcycle.

Pearl took a few steps closer, wringing her hands for a moment before clasping them together, to stop herself from fidgeting too much. “I… uhm… I had a very lovely time tonight. Wonderful, in fact. I hope you did as well.”

“I did.” Sheena said, amused.

“Good! Good. And, well, after such a nice night I’ve heard it’s customary to… well, I mean, I’m not an expert on human dating practices by any means, of course, but I thought it would be nice if…”

“Yea?” Sheena closed the distance between them, causing Pearl to need to look up at her.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Pearl took a breath. She could do this. “I would very much like to kiss you, if… if that isn’t too forward. I completely understand if you would prefer not to, of course, I was just thinking…”

Sheena didn’t say anything, instead she brought one hand to rest on Pearl’s cheek, gently guiding Pearl to tilt her head up. She leaned down slightly and Pearl stretched up, their lips met and…

It was amazing. Sure, it wasn’t the bombastic fireworks like the first time she kissed Rose (which was the first time she kissed anyone, ever), after a hard won victory during the Gem War, but it still felt electric. Kissing a human was so much different from kissing a Gem, Pearl found. Gems can simulate the human body in many ways, simulate skin texture, teeth, saliva, all that. But it’s just a simulation, incredible but never quite the same. Humans… humans are cohesive yet imperfect. Always imperfect. There’s just no way to properly replicate the random imperfection of the human body accurately. Her lips were warm and soft, but not uniformly so. Some spots were softer, wetter, warmer. And it changed, very slightly, even over the short time they kissed. And that lip ring! Pearl wasn’t quite sure what that would feel like, in fact it had puzzled her because surely it would just be in the way? But strangely it wasn’t. It was noticeably there, yes, but it didn’t seem out of place. It was a cooler, harder texture comparatively, and interesting in a good way. Everything about this felt… right, imperfect and different yet completely right.

It felt like it lasted ages but it was only a few seconds before they pulled apart. Pearl stared up at Sheena, breathless. Figuratively speaking, of course, as she didn’t really need to breathe and yet felt out of breath all the same. “Wow…”

Sheena laughed, soft and low. “Yeah, wow… Y’know, I gotta tell ya, I’ve been waiting to kiss you for a while now. Not that I mind taking things slow, of course.”

“Oh goodness, I’m sorry! I wasn’t sure how long it’s customary for humans to wait.” Pearl blushed, embarrassed. Everything on Earth moved so fast! It was hard for her to gauge how time worked for humans. Gems, being ageless, didn’t really have need to rush. “I didn’t want to rush into anything or pressure you.”

“Naw, it’s alright, I get it. There’s not any customary way of doing these things, really. It’s just what feels right, I guess. Some people go fast, others go slow. It’s all good.” Sheena paused, thinking, then said “What’s customary where you’re from?”

“Oh, nothing. Gems don’t really… have these sorts of relationships. Not on Homeworld anyway. We weren’t meant to or allowed to. Romantic relationships were completely unheard of. Kissing as a concept doesn’t exist there, or didn’t, I suppose I’m not really up on how things are there now.”

“Damn, really? Wow. That’s… that’s really awful. I’m sorry.”

Pearl hummed in agreement. “It was. I was on Earth for several years before I learned what kissing was. And even more before I ever tried it myself.”

“Oh, you’re really behind, then.”

“Behind?”

“On kissing. You should’ve been kissed way more in your life. But I’ll be more than happy to help you catch up.” Sheena said, leaning in.

“Oh!” It was a line. Cheesy, maybe, but Pearl appreciated it. “Oh, I think I’d like that.” She leaned in as well and they kissed again.

They broke after a moment. Pearl sighed, happily. “You know, in the beginning, I thought the act seemed rather messy and unpleasant.”

“But you don’t anymore?”

“Oh, goodness no.”

“That’s good.” Sheena said, and they kissed again.

“Well,” Pearl started, when they broke for breath (for Sheena, anyway). “I suppose it still is but-” They kissed again. “-with the right people it somehow-” Again. “-feels right and it doesn’t bother me. But-” Again. “-if I think of it in the abstract I suppose-” Again. “-it is still somewhat unpleasant. So-” Again. “-it’s more about the company than the-”

“Pearl?” Sheena sighed, breathless (or perhaps just exasperated).

“Yes?”

“Not that I’m not interested, ‘cause I am, but I think this would go smoother if you stopped talking so much.”

“Oh, right, sorry!”

“S’alright, no need to be sorry. I just think you’d enjoy it more if you lost yourself in the feeling, y’know? Or just try it out, at least.” Sheena said. Pearl nodded. They kissed again.

“I’m just nervous.” Pearl said when they broke again. Sheena hummed sympathetically and they kissed again. “I have a tendency to ramble when I’m nervous.” Again. “I don’t even realize-”

“Pearl.” Oh, right, rambling again. They kissed again. And again.

“… Sorry.” Pearl squeaked out between kisses. She couldn’t help it, she had to! Sheena didn’t respond, but instead continued to kiss Pearl while laughing softly into her mouth. It was a kind laugh, not cruel or mocking, just… amused. It created a pleasant, humming sensation in Pearl’s mouth. It was infectious, too, and she couldn’t help but laugh along with her. After a moment they stopped and just continued kissing, with no further interruptions.

They continued like that for a while, and Pearl had to admit Sheena was right. It was rather nice to just… lose herself in the feeling. To just fall into that rhythm and that pleasant feeling of exploration and just being with someone. It was nice. They pulled apart again and neither felt compelled to continue, just allowing themselves to look at one another in silence, save for the sound of breathing.

“Alright.” Sheena sighed, reluctant. “I really should go now. Got work in the morning.”

“Ah yes, and you humans do need a certain amount of sleep to function properly! I’m sorry if I kept you from it.”

“Naw, it was worth it.” Sheena gave Pearl one last kiss before turning and walking back to her motorcycle. She straddled the seat and put her helmet on, adjusting the strap. “See you Saturday, probably.”

“Yes, with luck! And, uhm, catch you later!”

Sheena laughed. “Should I fall.” She started her motorcycle and drove off.

Pearl watched her drive away until she disappeared behind some buildings and the roar of her motorcycle’s engine could no longer be heard. Then she stood in silence for a moment, just breathing, just being. She was so… proud of herself. She was socializing with humans, she was experiencing Earth. Not for Rose and not even for Steven, but for herself. She went on a real official human date for the first time! She was nervous, but she did it. She felt happy at this moment, genuinely happy. Best of all, she felt little to no guilt about feeling happy. Out of everything, Pearl was probably most proud about that.

With a contented sigh, Pearl finally turned and walked to Greg’s car. The parking lot of the movie theater was mostly empty now and dead silent. She hummed softly, getting into the car and starting the engine. She flicked on the Earth radio, fiddling with the dial until she found a tune that sounded half-way pleasant, and set a course back to the temple.

[pearlplusau]

Pearl Plus AU- The bright light part 3

Blue Zircon has been facing the wall doing slow breathings and tries her hardest to not get too emotional, but alas, being in Blue Diamond’s court made her feelings from her diamond hard to resist, so she went pacing back and forth instead.

“You DO know what you’re doing right?” Blue Zircon questioned the Agate.

“Yes?” Holly replied with slight uneasiness, “I know trying to confess my error was not glamorous, but if I can show my worth and explain my situation, they might be understanding?”

“Or…” Blue Zircon suggested, “They might change their minds and shatter you right on the spot!” She paused, and took a deep breath, and apologized for the screaming.

“If I present what I know to the Diamonds, they may actually listen to what is needed to be told!” Holly said with confidence.

Blue Zircon contemplated and went through the performance, “The other Zircon was doing her job as the prosecutor, but even she wasn’t paid attention by the Diamonds. What makes you think they’ll listen to you?”

“Because…” Holly took out the amethyst gem and showed it to the defendant lawyer, “I have actual information they would be pleased to hear, it’s about the newest colony.”

Zircon took a closer look, “An amethyst gem? What’s she gonna do? Stutter and be shattered in front of the diamonds for mere entertainment?”

“No, of course not!” Holly put the gem back to her pocket, “I overheard the diamonds arguing about the colony of the youngest diamond, sounds to me they were not fully updated on everything. The message involved an incident on the colony.”

“What incident?” Zircon questioned, “If anything serious were to happen the diamond in charge of that colony will be updating the other diamonds regularly, there was no important information given from anywhere else!”

“The amethyst uphold certain sensitive information, but she was told to inform the diamonds of the need for more soldiers to a battle somewhere, I didn’t listen to her of where the battle is.”

“And you think the information from her will be reliable? She’s a quartz soldier! She might not even remember where she was made!” Zircon checked the clock and was freaking out again, and their time alone was running out.

“Trust me, the information she contains will not be irrelevant nor inadequate.” Holly reassured the lawyer as the door opens once more.

“It will work, let’s go.” The duo went through the door and into the judgment hall.

-

The Diamonds were already in their seats with their eyes closed, yet Holly could sense some conflict between the three. Yellow Diamond’s eyelids were tense, under Blue Diamond’s eyes, dark bags were starting to show, and as for White Diamond, her bright light was not as blinding as before, but still bright enough to lit the whole room.

White Diamond was the first to open her eyes, she glanced around and sighed.

With a clap of her hands, the trial proceeds, all eyes are opened, they picked up where they left off.

The platform Holly was standing glowed light green, then rose up so she could be eye-leveled with the diamonds.

“Begin.” White stated to the accused.

Holly saluted, “My Diamonds, I am here because I have broken a rule established on Homeworld, but for an action comes a motive, and my motive was to present vital information to you, the Diamonds.”

Yellow Diamond intercepted, “So your excuse for executing a gem was to transfer some sort of message? What vital information can’t be filled in with the others?”

Blue mumbled, “Like the information you gave?” under her breath, but Yellow heard it loud and clear, “Excuse me, but the information I gave was vital, and you know it Blue!”

“Here we go again…” Blue Zircon sweated more than she should, trying her best to not look like a lapis lazuli that just emerged from the waters.

Holly didn’t really know what to do, a disagreement among the Great Authority? The other agates will never believe such thing! They have been seen to be the most efficient, the most rational and the most perfectly flawless beings!  But with all this arguing, who knows how long this trial’s going to take? Unless…

Holly opened up her side pocket and tilt to her side. The quartz gem slipped right out and clinked to the floor next to her.

“Clink!” the sound was clear and crisp, even the diamonds couldn’t ignore the disturbance and gathered their attention to the reforming newcomer.

The purple gem took the shape of a Quartz soldier, the rays of the colour violet shone bright in the darkroom of judgment. When the light dimmed, AXWJ finally came to view and collapsed on the floor.

“Uhhhh…huh?” She moaned and grumbled, just then she noticed the three gigantic leaders of homeworld right in front of her.  

“Who in the name of homeworld disrupts the court in order?!” Yellow Pearl spoke while typing in with little annoyance but also relief.

This time, Holly was ready.

“This is Amethyst 8XWJ, the quartz soldier I dismantled out in the open just a few hours ago, she is here because…because…”  

“Wait, what am I doing?” Holly thought to herself, “This is my only chance to impress the great Yellow Diamond and the chunk of Earth is going take that away from me? But if I took her only purpose of being here then, what am I?”

“…because SHE has the vital information to report!” she finally concluded.

-

When AXWJ finishes her message to the diamonds, they were rather confused and uncertain what to make out of it.

“A message like this should’ve been given by someone higher than…this.” Yellow Diamond spoke with distaste. “Who is your commanding officer? But more importantly, who is the diamond in charge? Blue, do you know any of this?” Yellow questioned.

“What? Of course not! My colonies are done with their development aeons ago, the only incomplete colony is…” Her face darkens with a realization and fear, “I need to be excused for a moment…” she whispered while grabbing the nearest Diamond communicator to a different room.

“Blue! You can’t just…” Yellow sighed, and turned her attention back to the purple soldier. “What planet is it that need more soldiers? We need to see what’s responsible for a war to take so long!”

The amethyst looked confused as there was more the diamonds don’t know of. “My diamonds, there has been a major incident that had caused more of battles on the planet, it is the shattering of-”

“YELLOW!” Blue burst back into the room and started screaming in dread, “It’s Pink! She’s not answering her communicator! Something must’ve happened to her!”

“She was shattered…” concluded Holly. “It all makes sense! The war in process! The diamond in charge! The message-”

“NO! She couldn’t have!” Yellow refused to take it in the information. She turned to White, noticing her dimmed glow, but her expression was blank, she said nothing, even Blue’s power inflicted her into fear and frustration, but still, nothing.

-

The diamonds dismissed the trial, they had a rather more urgent matter to attend to.

“Hey,” said Amethyst 8XWJ as she turned to Holly on a balcony gazing over the more peaceful side of their homeland, “So, uhm….mind explaining what’s going on to the diamonds? They just stormed off, the fancy blue gem isn’t really glad about this, she just freaked out and stormed off somewhere.” Holly wished she knew what was going on, at least she would be able to rub it to her face.

But alas, she couldn’t.

“Fine, I get it, it’s not my business.” 8XWJ exclaimed before Holly could say anything. “I just want to know why you didn’t give the info on your own.” She fell down to the floor, face first, “Oof!” and just stayed there.

Holly smirked, maybe there is something she could mock her with.

“Because dear chunk of Earth,” She turned to Amethyst, “That was your literal purpose of being here.” She started to relax and sat on the floor, not something a superior gem such as herself should do.

“When I first heard your message, I thought I could impress the great Yellow Diamond and gain her acknowledged glance, but at the end, I knew if I didn’t throw you on the spotlight, they would never really hear it from me.” Holly explained her sacrifice of getting the diamond’s attention but she also knew the reality of it.

“You don’t really get any power nor attention of the diamonds as we are all just, their little armies and entertainers.” Holly sighed, “And I don’t know what I would have gotten into if I followed through, the most I could’ve got was a shock blast for wasting all their time.”

“I don’t really know why we worship them, “Amethyst commented, “If they’re so powerful like you said, then why aren’t they doing anything about the war on Earth?” Just then, her whole world suddenly rumbles, the next thing she heard, was synchronized humming of three distinct tones….

The atmosphere shifted, the air turned cold, and a sudden blast of light was shot from the diamond headquarters. All movement was still, but also, for a moment…

Silence, for a few minutes before the purple gem finally recovered from her surprise.

“Woahhhh, what was THAT?” Amethyst turned to Holly star-eyed but also slightly blinded as she would barely see.

“That,” Holly explained, “was the power of the diamonds. Most likely a blast to eliminate all gems on Earth, let’s just hope it solves the problem on that miserable planet.”

“Wow, so that’s how they take care of things, blasts their problems away I guess.” Amethyst flops over, and hope her sisters will be okay down there.

A figure suddenly showed up behind them, a blue pearl.

“Holly Blue Agate,” Blue Pearl whispered, “my diamond seeks your presence in the pool chamber, and she would like you to bring along the soldier from Earth with you.”

Holly turned to Amethyst with little acknowledgment and nodded, “Message received, I…we, will be there shortly.” Holly replied and took off with Amethyst on her tail.

---------

Back on Earth,

Coral blinked her eyes just to be sure, but it looks like, fleeing Homeworld ships?

Homeworld gems were ordered to get on board as the transportations retreat one by one, with a different kind of urgency.

Coral rubbed her eyes and turned to Rose exclaiming! “They’re retreating! Rose! We’re winning! We’re…” Rose was not gleaming, nor does she look happy, a bright light shone on her face, fear had taken over.

Rose dropped her weapon, summons a giant shield blocking them from the light and pulled in Garnet and Coral, her companions within the closest range.

“Rose what’s going on?” Coral questioned, but she was too focused on the shield to give an answer.

Coral turned and sees Pearl on the sand, tired and confused of her surroundings as she turns towards the leader of the Crystal Gem.

“Rose, Pearl’s still out there! We need to get her too!” Coral demanded and tried to get to her, but Rose’s grip on her was too strong! She called for Pearl to come over.

“Pearl!” She screamed loud enough for her to hear, “Something’s happening, you need to come over here, hurry!” Pearl shook her head, as if finally got off a trance and went towards them.

The light was getting brighter, louder. More ships were leaving, there were still some soldiers on plain sight, but there was nothing they could do as Coral reached her arms towards Pearl and pulled her into the safe-zone with Rose and Garnet.

The bright light came and all they can see was blinding white.

 End of Chapter.

(A/N: Heyy guys, sorry it took so long but here’s the last chapter. If you end up reading this to be short, I would suggest going back to part one and re-read from there.

Anyways, SUF gave us a lot of info about Pink Pearl, but as for the crack that should be there in canon, I’m not really gonna just go back and rewrite everything, cuz:

a. That’s a whole bunch of work, and 

B. I started off following the original creator’s concept and I’m gonna just stick with that.

So for the next chapter would be pretty much a different story than we saw in canon. It will however, follow Coral into the story as my main protagonist, so get ready world, for a whole new episode.

And this tells me you read the whole thing, to which i appreciate it, hope you have a great day, PEACE OUT!)