#whats the point of posting when i literally get next to no feedback.

[centralnart]

:///

[buckymorelikefuckme]

cry baby

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 7.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** smüt, ed*ging, overstimulation, crying during s*ex, mentions of flushed cheeks, friends to lovers, misunderstandings, lapslock.

a/n: this is arguably one of my absolute fave fics i've ever written. she is near and dear to my heart :') i've provided the link for ao3 if you prefer to read it there! it's originally posted in two parts but i've combined them here. any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & appreciated ♡

“the boys are running late,” natasha informs you when you make your way to the table she’s conquered in the busy cafe. “sam texted a couple minutes ago and said he and bucky got stuck in traffic.”

it’s the second tuesday of the month, which means it’s brunch day. it’s a running tradition that’s stood for the four of you since your college days. the time and place has changed over the years, but everyone does their absolute best to attend every time. these tuesdays are your favorite, naturally.

you plop into an empty chair across from her with a heavy sigh. “good, that means i have time to bitch about how fucking horny i am before they get here.”

she snorts, taking a delicate sip of her latte. “what’s new?” she wonders sarcastically.

“you don’t understand,” you begin, leaning into the table, gripping the edge tightly. “it’s been months, and not like, a few, i mean it’s coming up on a year.”

natasha’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “a year? what about that guy you went on a few dates with a while back? didn’t anything happen with him?”

“no,” you grumble, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms. you huff. “and even if something had happened, i doubt it would have been satisfying. i can probably count on one hand the amount of times sex has been even kinda pleasurable for me.”

“sounds like you’re picking shitty partners.”

you scowl. “i know that, but it’s not my fault. all these stupid men keep promising they’re gonna fuck me ten ways to sunday and not a single one of them can even get me to wednesday.”

natasha laughs. “you poor thing.”

“you’re really not helping me here,” you whine with a pitiful pout on your lips. “you are getting routine dickings, you have sam! i am not so lucky here.” you notice her attention flicks to somewhere behind you, but you’re not finished with your rant. “nat, i’m serious. all of my sex encounters are the equivalent of asking someone to scratch my back and then they scratch literally anywhere but the spot that itches. i want to be fucked so good that i cry, just—completely reduced to tears. is that too much to ask?”

nat is hiding her smile behind her hand, amusement painted across her sharp features. someone clears their throat behind you and you pinch the bridge of your nose. sam and bucky occupy the empty seats, sam next to natasha and bucky next to you. they’re both sporting wide grins, looking far too pleased about stumbling into this conversation.

sam opens his mouth, no doubt to make a smartass comment, but you cut him off before he can get a good inhale in.

“not a fucking word,” you grouse with a finger pointed in his direction.

he presses a hand to his chest, expression offended. “i would never make a joke about your truly tragic excuse of a sex life.”

bucky snickers quietly, but turns into a cough at your glare.

“i’ll murder you,” you promise.

“leave her alone, boys,” natasha says, rolling her eyes, though she’s visibly biting back her own laughter.

you huff, digging your wallet out of your purse. “i hate all of you,” you announce before getting up and going to stand in line to order.

bucky follows a moment later, coming to stand at your side and throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“that bad, huh?” he asks.

you don’t have to look at his face to know he’s probably smirking right now.

“fuck off,” you retort, not bothering to push his arm away since you know he’d only put it right back.

“aw, come on, don’t be like that,” he jests, “you know we just like to poke a little fun.”

you roll your eyes, throwing him an exasperated look. “yeah, but that was something only nat was supposed to hear. i hate talking about sex with you and sam because you two wouldn’t understand.”

“that’s not true,” bucky insists, which makes you roll your eyes again. “it’s not!”

“first of all, sam’s got natasha, so we both know they’re more than satisfied.” bucky tilts his head in acquiescence. “and you don’t have to worry about if you’re gonna have an orgasm when you hook up with somebody. men have it so easy.”

it’s probably not the best thing to talk about in line of a busy cafe (especially since you haven’t decided between a blueberry muffin or the ham and cheese croissant, and there’s only one person ahead of you now and you’d really rather not be discussing your lack of sex in front of an innocent barista) but it sort of feels good to get this off your chest, even if it’s to bucky.

“okay, definitely not true,” he replies with a frown. “i’m not always guaranteed an orgasm.”

you give him a skeptical glance. “i find that hard to believe.”

this time, it’s bucky who rolls his eyes. “whatever, whether or not i come when i have sex with someone isn’t what i was gonna talk about when i came over here.”

the person in front of you finishes their order and then you’re stepping up for your turn.

“hi, what can i get you today?” the young barista asks with a smile.

“a large mocha iced coffee with sweet cream and a blueberry muffin, please.” you pause, contemplating, then add, “and a ham and cheese croissant.”

if you can’t get fucked within an inch of your life then food will become your lover, you reason.

“just a black coffee for me, please,” bucky tells the girl, taking his wallet out of his back pocket and handing over his card to pay before you can stop him.

“i could’ve paid for mine,” you mumble.

“you also could just say thank you,” he replies with a short laugh as he ushers you to the side to wait for your order.

you pinch his hip, pouting. “thank you.”

“why does your gratitude come with violence?” he asks, rubbing the sore spot.

“you know how i am when people do nice things for me.”

“you should be used to it by now,” he points out.

“well, i’m not,” you huff. “anyway, what did you come over here to talk about then?”

bucky reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, uncharacteristically shy all the sudden. “uh, well. i dunno, i just thought… you know, since you’re not—i mean, not that you couldn’t be, just—you haven’t been, so maybe… fuck.”

“spit it out,” you say with a giggle, wondering what in the world’s got him so tongue-tied.

“why don’t you let me?” he blurts, averting his gaze immediately after.

you tilt your head in confusion. “let you what?”

he sighs heavily, working his jaw in frustration. “you know…” he begins, digging his thumbnail into a knick on the countertop in front of you. “let me fuck you until you cry.”

“what?”

just then, your order is called. bucky quickly grabs it and turns to make his way back to the table, but you grab his arm to stop him.

“i don’t think so, you come back here right now and explain yourself,” you demand.

his eyes lift heavenward. “it’s just an idea, okay?”

“bucky, you’re talking about crossing a huge line. you can’t just throw that out all willy nilly!”

“i know,” he replies earnestly. “and it’s not—“ he grimaces at the phrasing, “willy nilly. you’re one of my best friends. i wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything, and i wouldn’t offer this if i thought that it could. this is something that’s obviously affecting you negatively in your life and i’m willing to help. i trust you, and i’m pretty sure you trust me, yeah?”

“of course i trust you,” you say, frowning.

he shrugs. “so, then it’s just… a friend helping another friend.”

“you make it sound so simple,” you muse in wonder.

“think about it?” he implores.

you swallow roughly, biting the inside of your cheek. “fine. i’ll think about it.”

he nods and walks back over to the table where sam and natasha are waiting. you hesitate for only a split second before following.

needless to say, you’re distracted for the rest of brunch.

***

you: what even makes you think you could fuck me until i cry anyway?

it’s been nearly a week, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re actually considering taking bucky’s offer. it’s all you can think about since he brought it up. you can’t lie, you’ve always thought bucky was attractive, but ever since you were gently but firmly placed in the friend category back in university, you never allowed yourself to think of there ever being more between the two of you. he’s a wonderful friend to have and you’d have been an idiot to pass it up. bucky is kind and generous and just enough of an asshole to keep things interesting without it being a problem.

but this… this has left you reeling. why would he make such an offer after only ever keeping things strictly friendly and platonic in your relationship? and more importantly, where does he get the confidence to think he could follow through?

bucky: experience?

you make a face at your phone, furiously typing your reply.

you: ew. do you realize how douchey that sounds?

bucky: well, it’s not douchey if it’s true.

you: says you

bucky: and a few other people :)

bucky: you’d know it too if you’d let me fuck you

you exhale harshly through your nose, tapping your foot on the floor anxiously, carefully thinking of what you should say next.

you: it’s apparently a tall request, and thus far, nobody’s been able to deliver. you can understand my skepticism…

bucky: if i don’t leave you shivering and twitching with aftershocks of pleasure, in a mess of sweat and come, and tears stained on your cheeks, then i will have failed you.

your thighs squeeze together at the mental image that brings you. jesus christ, if he’s half as good at fucking as he is dirty talking then he just might do as he’s promising.

bucky: so? what do you say? wanna give it a try?

biting your lip, you give yourself a moment to weigh the pros and cons in your mind one last time.

it doesn’t take you very long to make your decision.

you: okay. we’ll try.

***

it’s a slightly overcast sunday when bucky comes over with the direct intention to fuck you. it should be weird, but strangely, all you feel is anticipation. maybe it’s because you know him so well and know that, no matter what, he’d take care of you.

(or, maybe it’s because those repressed college-aged feelings are doing their best to resurface, even though you steadfastly continue to ignore them.)

you’d taken a thorough shower earlier to ease the little bit of nerves you had when you’d woken up. cleaning up the small mess your apartment gathered over the last couple weeks helped, as well, and soon you found yourself standing in front of your lingerie drawer with your lips pursed.

you weren’t sure if you should even bother with it, but it felt you wouldn’t be putting in any effort into this encounter if you didn’t at least pick out nice underwear. so, with a pleased nod, you settle on some simple black lace panties and a matching bralette. not too much, but enough to satisfy yourself, and hopefully bucky. you pick out a simple sundress to put on over it, since you won’t be wearing much of anything once bucky gets here. that thought has you flushing, but you ignore it to put on some makeup, just to freshen up your face.

by the time he knocks on your door, you’ve already finished a glass of wine and are pouring yourself a second.

he smiles when open the door, a bit boyishly, greeting you with a quiet, “hi.”

“hi,” you return, just as soft. you open the door wider. “come in.”

he walks passed you, stopping to toe his shoes off and hang his jacket on one of the hooks.

“do you want a glass of wine?” you ask as you head to the kitchen to retrieve your own from the counter.

bucky follows, stopping in the entryway with his hands in his pockets. “no, thank you.”

you nod, taking a sip from your glass, trying to figure out what to say. the air feels a little awkward and you’re not sure how to fix it.

“nervous?” he wonders curiously.

you shake your head. “not really.”

he quirks a brow. “then what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know,” you murmur. “i guess i’m just worried we’re making a mistake.”

he hums. you take a larger sip of your wine.

with cautious steps, he comes closer to you. “what if i promise that things won’t be weird after?”

“you can’t really promise that, though.”

“sure i can,” he says, smiling. “it’s me and you. we’ve been friends for so long. plenty of people have sex and stay friends after.”

you’re not just ‘people’ to me, you think.

you sigh, frustrated with yourself. you can’t deny how badly you want this. it’s all you’ve been able to think about since that day in the cafe. but the thought of losing bucky is heartbreaking, and you don’t want your stupid horniness to be the reason that you ruin a friendship, even if he was the one to offer sex.

“why don’t we go make out on the couch for a little while first?” he suggests after a moment’s pause.

you snort, in spite of your thoughts. “like a couple of teenagers?”

his eyes crinkle on the sides when he grins. “yeah. we’ll just see how we feel about that, and if it leads to more, then…” he trails off, shrugging.

“that’s not a bad idea,” you concede.

“great! finish your wine.”

you laugh and do as you’re told, downing the little remaining wine in one go, sitting the glass down on the counter resolutely as you swallow.

“let’s do this,” you say, determined.

bucky huffs a laugh, grabbing your wrist and tugging you behind him as he makes his way to the couch. he settles slightly facing you as you tuck your legs under you beside him.

“do you wanna talk, or do you want to jump straight into it?”

“if we talk anymore i’m gonna change my mind. just kiss me already, bucky.”

“yes ma’am,” he sasses before doing exactly that.

he cups your cheek with one hand as the other is placed on your knee. he guides your face to his and kisses you chastely. you’re not sure where to put your hands at first, but you tell yourself to quit being a goober about it and place them on either side of his neck, your thumbs brushing under his jaw.

it’s an okay kiss, you have to admit, but it’s not really doing anything for you yet. he has soft lips, softer than you thought they’d be. you’re beginning to wonder if maybe this confirms you shouldn’t go any further when he tilts his head, and… hm.

he parts his lips, taking your bottom one between his, kissing it, then nipping it. you wouldn’t say the sound you make is a gasp, necessarily, but it’s close. his tongue lightly caresses the seam of your mouth and you don’t even think before you open up for him, letting his tongue sweep in, flicking against yours. you hum, scooting a tiny bit closer to him, chasing the feeling. his kisses turn insistent then, teeth biting at your bottom lip and tugging, soothing the ache with his tongue. he kisses you like a man quenching his thirst, like you’re the best goddamn thing he’s ever tasted, and it’s leaving you dizzy. you sway more into his space and he pulls away from your mouth.

“c’mere,” he whispers, gripping behind one of your knees to drag it over his hips so you’re straddling him. “much better.”

you don’t have a chance to process anything about the moment, his mouth back on yours in a blink. your fingers wind themselves into his hair, getting a good grip on it as you lick into his mouth. he lets out a soft noise at that and you try your damnedest to pry it out of him again, pressing your chest to his so there’s not even a sliver of space left between you.

his hands travel, down the sides of your torso to your thighs, back up to your hips where he holds on tight. it doesn’t take long after that before you find yourself grinding into him. you both moan at the same time, breaking the kiss to pant for breath.

you swallow roughly. “okay,” you murmur, “i think it’s safe to say this could work.”

bucky laughs quietly. “yeah? wanna move to your bed then?”

your squeeze your thighs around him, shifting minutely on his lap and feeling the beginnings of his erection beneath you. “yes,” you breathe.

quickly, you rise from your position and step back, allowing bucky to stand, then grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom. once you’re standing beside your bed, you turn to face him. he meets your halfway, pulling you into another, filthier kiss. you reach for his belt buckle, unfastening it and sliding it through the loops, tossing it to your floor. next are the button and zip of his jeans, shoved down his legs until he steps out of them and kicks them and his socks aside. he obediently lifts his arms when you slide your hands under his shirt and begin pushing it up, breaking the kiss to nearly yank it off, making bucky huff in amusement. once it’s tossed with the rest of his clothes, bucky grabs fistfuls of your dress and pulls you into him.

“my turn,” he says against your lips.

carefully, bucky helps you out of your dress, eyes raking over every bit of new skin shown to him. he bites his lip when he sees your lacy underthings.

“you got all dolled up for me?” he asks.

shifting under his stare, you nod. “wanted to look nice,” you admit.

he hums. “beautiful.”

he kisses you again, a little softer than before, but no less passionate. the urgency returns as he backs you up until your thighs hit the mattress. gently, he guides you onto your back, never breaking the kiss as he follows you down and settles over you.

you soon find yourself in need of air and pull away with a gasp. bucky is undeterred and instead presses his kisses down your jaw, to your neck where he decides to bite and suck until he’s left a mark you’ll have to reprimand him for later. he licks his way up to your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth, drawing a whine out of you.

“bucky,” you whisper, hands gripping his sides as you squirm below him.

“hm?”

you close your eyes tightly when he makes his way back down to your collarbones.

“please,” you whimper.

“please what, sweetheart?” he asks, pushing himself up to look you in the eye.

“t-touch me,” you beg, cheeks flushing.

his lips quirk into a smile. “i am touching you.”

“bucky,” you whine.

“where do you want me to touch you, hm?” he wonders. one of his hands trails across your shoulder and down the center of your chest. “here? or… here?”

when his fingers glide, barely there, over your pebbled nipples, you push into the touch eagerly.

“or…” he continues, his feather light touch making a path down your stomach. your breath quickens in anticipation. “here?” he murmurs as his fingertips stop on your pantyline.

“yes, there, anywhere,” you agree hastily, “just —please. please, bucky, don’t tease me.”

he kisses you again, deep, full of promise. “you beg so prettily for me.”

he rearranges your positions until he’s between your spread thighs, sweeping his hands across the inside of them. he nods to your panties.

“may i?”

“yes, please,” you reply, lifting your hips to help him take them off.

he doesn’t give you a chance to close your legs in shyness, firmly grasping your knees in each of his hands and spreading them once again. the way he’s looking at you makes you feel unbelievably desirable, has excitement crawling up your spine.

“don’t forget,” you remind him, making his eyes flick up to yours in question, “you better make me cry.”

a slow, dangerous smile graces his lips. your stomach swoops eagerly.

~

a whine, high pitched and drawn out, escapes your lips. after you unwittingly challenged him, bucky took it upon himself to torture you—with sex. so far, he’s only used his fingers on you, in you, thrusting them steadily but never enough to bring you to climax. he’s taking his time and being a smug prick about it. you go to complain, again, hoping if you beg enough he’ll let you come, but before you can do more than open your mouth he’s quickening his pace.

“oh!” you gasp, clutching the sheets in your hands.

bucky slides his hand down your thigh, bringing his thumb inward to swipe around where his other fingers are buried inside you to gather your wetness and using it to rub circles on your clit. your back arches, head thrown back against your pillows as you feel your orgasm build. it’s not tears, but damn, it feels good enough.

just as you start to clench around his fingers, legs spasming, he stops.

your eyes open in a hurry, brows furrowing in confusion. “no, please, don’t stop,” you plead.

bucky smiles. “i gotta get the right build up.”

you groan in frustration. he laughs quietly and lets the inferno burning within you simmer down to embers, then starts inching his way down until he’s lying on his stomach, mouth poised above your pussy. the feel of his warm breath makes you shiver, and with no warning whatsoever, he leans in and sucks your clit into his mouth.

“fuckin’—oh my— bucky!”

you’re pretty sure you black out for the next several minutes, the only thing you’re aware of is the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears and the feel of bucky’s mouth on you. you’re lost in a mindless haze of pleasure, unable to think or feel anything else. you feel your orgasm cresting for the second time, and just as before, bucky pulls away before you can succumb to it.

“why,” you hiccup on a moan, wanting nothing more than to just come already, but he’s not letting you.

he shushes you, softly kisses your knee. sitting up to take his underwear off, bucky keeps his eyes on you, expression hungry.

“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he promises. “just a bit more. you’re being so good for me, yeah?”

“please,” you whimper, feeling completely pathetic.

he makes quick work of putting a condom on and then settles between your thighs. you sigh in relief when he wastes no time and pushes in, being careful not to go too fast. once he’s fully inside you, he pauses, wanting to give you time to adjust, but you’re back to whining.

“bucky, please, please just—fuck me,” you beg, squirming beneath him.

he takes mercy on you, finally, and sets a hard pace. your hands fly up to push against the headboard, moaning and gasping from his harsh thrusts, loving the stretch of him inside you. his thumb is back on your clit and you cry out, clenching hard around him, but his thrusts don’t falter. all too soon, you can feel yourself getting close. you hear your own voice chanting please, please, please, mixed in with bucky’s grunts and the sound of him fucking you.

you whimper, eyes squeezed shut as your climax hits the point of no return, crashing over you in waves. you think you might scream, but it’s hard to pay attention to anything other than the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. part of you thinks this’ll be it, bucky will come now and then you’ll have had one of the best orgasms of your life and he’ll be on his merry way home. but no, that’s not what happens.

instead, bucky keeps thrusting relentlessly into you, dragging out your pleasure to the point of oversensitivity.

“s’too much,” you breathe, gasping for air.

bucky shakes his head, face contorted in concentration. “one more,” he tells you, voice gruff and deep.

unbelievably, you feel tears beginning to gather in the corners of your eyes. bucky’s still rubbing your clit, still keeping a steady rhythm of his hips, and fuck, he’s so beautiful. you watch him fucking you, wondering how the fuck you got to this moment, how you got lucky enough to bear witness to the sight of bucky fucking, let alone be the one he fucks. his body is ridiculous, looking like it’s carved from marble. you know how much strength it holds, as well, know that if he really wanted to, he could probably fuck you against a wall.

it’s with that thought, with the added bonus of the way bucky touches you, looks at you, like you’re something treasured and gorgeous, giving you such intense pleasure, that the tears threatening to spill over finally fall from your lashes.

bucky notices, because of course he does, and he thrusts into you just a little faster, a little harder, and your body seizes up and then you’re falling into another orgasm. it spreads through your veins, slow like honey, making sure this one settles deep into your bones. bucky groans as he, too, reaches climax, hips twitching into you in aftershocks until he stops moving altogether.

you both pant for breath, sweat gathered in every crevice on your bodies. you think you won’t be able to move for the rest of the weekend.

“need to pull out,” bucky says softly, breaking the moment.

you nod and he carefully pulls his hips back, grunting. you poorly suppress a whimper and close your legs, already hating the empty feeling.

“well,” he starts, plopping himself on his back next to you, “i think i deserve some kind of reward.”

when you turn to face him with an exasperated look, he’s got his arms crossed behind his head, a smug smile across his lips.

“how about i don’t kick you in the balls? how’s that for a reward?”

“i literally just did the impossible.”

“what, made me come twice? i can do that all on my own. you’re not special,” you retort with a huff.

he scoffs. “i fucked you so good you cried.”

“you can’t prove it,” you say to the ceiling.

“keep up this attitude and i won’t do it again,” he threatens, poking you in your side.

you wiggle away from the ticklish touch while trying to tamp down on the hope bubbling in your chest.

“oh, we’re doing this again, are we?” you say as casually as possible.

he rolls his eyes. “of course we are. now,” he sits up in your bed, stretching his arms as he stands and picks up his underwear, “i’m starving. wanna order takeout?”

well, you guess if you’d been worried about any kind of awkwardness before, you shouldn’t have. this is bucky, your best friend. he’d never let things change between you.

***

except, things kinda change between the two of you.

it’s not very noticeable at first, changes so subtle you miss them, until one day he showed up at your apartment and greeted you with a kiss. you stood frozen in your doorway as he rambled about how stressful his day had been as he kicked his shoes off. it was only when you heard him calling out from the kitchen that he was gonna eat your leftovers that you snapped out of it, yelling back that you’d kick his ass if he even touched your dumplings.

another day, he facetimes you and asks if you want to go to see that new movie you’ve been talking about.

“oh,” you’d said. “are nat and sam coming, too?”

he’d given you a funny look, replied, “no, i thought it would just be us two.”

“oh,” you said again. “okay.”

so you’d gone to the movies, let him buy you buttery popcorn and peanut m&m’s and a soda bigger than your head. he shared with you, despite your protests, and halfway through the film you felt his hand settle on your thigh. you blinked and stared at it for a beat, turning to him in question. he only smiled at you briefly before focusing back on the movie.

in between all of this, you continued calling him over for sex. honestly, how could you not? as much as you didn’t want to admit it to him, he was the best you’ve ever had. and if he’s so willing, why shouldn’t you take advantage while you can?

a week ago, though, you’d texted him and asked him to come over, replying to his question of what time and then started getting ready. you’d purchased a new piece of lingerie, a periwinkle babydoll nightie, that left very little to the imagination. it had a matching pair of panties and felt soft and luxurious on your skin. you’d taken extra time to do your hair and makeup, wanting to look like sex on legs, and you’re pretty sure you succeeded.

but when he got there and you answered the door in your sexy outfit, he didn’t see it right away. in one hand he held his phone, typing something on it, and in the other hand he held a grocery bag that you eyed curiously.

“i brought stuff to make spaghetti—“

when he did finally look up, his eyes widened and traveled the length of your body several times. you bit your lip, trying and failing to hold back your smile.

“how about we skip dinner?” you’d said, fisting his nice button-up shirt and dragging him inside your apartment. you grabbed the grocery bag from his hand and sat it on the floor, absently noting he was wearing his date jeans.

whoops, you’d thought, hope i didn’t pull him away from someone important.

you hadn’t let yourself dwell on it, standing up on your tippy toes and kissing him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. he’d returned the kiss, licking into your mouth, drawing your tongue out so he could suck on it and made you moan embarrassingly loud.

“wait,” he’d murmured, “we should eat first.”

“or, you could eat me,” you’d retorted with a giggle.

he groaned like it pained him to say no, gripped your hips hard and put a tiny bit of distance between you. the look in his eyes had made you want to find the nearest flat surface and bend over.

“why don’t you be a good girl for me, hm? let me cook dinner for us and after we eat i’ll fuck you however you want me to. okay, sweetheart?”

you whined, but ultimately agreed, knowing he’d make it worth it.

and then there’s tonight, where he came over unannounced, armed with groceries again and promising to cook you the best meal you’ve ever had. to say you were confused would be an understatement, but you also didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

it’s just… well, bucky’s not really acting like a friend with benefits. sure, you hung out alone with him all the time before, but he never once cooked you dinner, and he certainly never helped wash dishes after. you guess the hello kisses could be explained away as part of the new aspect of your relationship, but something about that didn’t sit quite right with you.

after a truly delicious dinner, you find yourself on the couch with bucky as he scrolls through netflix to find a movie to put on.

“what do you want to watch?” he asks.

“mm,” you mumble, shifting closer to start kissing his neck, “don’t care.”

as he narrows down his decision and finally picks one, you make your way up to his jaw, sucking a small mark into the skin there.

“baby,” he protests softly, “let’s just watch the movie, yeah?”

you pull back, confused. first at the pet name, then at his words. he’s never denied you before, which isn’t to say that he can’t, it’s just that he’s always seemed on board. and, you know, you thought that was kind of the whole point of this thing.

“okay,” you reply after a moment.

he gives you a smile and a sweet kiss, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side to cuddle. you can’t help but frown, feeling like you’re missing something, but not knowing what it could be.

it doesn’t take long for drowsiness to creep up on you. before he showed up, you had planned on probably ordering out for dinner and going to bed early since you’d had a pretty rough day. in fact, you remember texting bucky about it just that afternoon. your eyelids get heavier and heavier, finding it harder to keep them open as the seconds pass. your head droops and in the next blink, you’ve fallen asleep.

you’re not sure how much time has passed when bucky wakes you, but you groan, pouting and burrowing into his shoulder more.

he huffs a laugh. “c’mon, sweetheart, let’s get you to bed.”

“don’ wanna move,” you mumble tiredly.

“i’ll carry you,” he offers. “up you go, baby.”

you half heartedly argue about being jostled, but let him carry you to your bed where he carefully places you, helping you out of your sweatpants and pulling your blankets up around you. you sigh in content, feeling yourself already drifting back into sleep. you hear bucky shuffling, but think nothing of it until the bed dips beside you, then feel his warm body slide in underneath the covers and press in close.

“goodnight, darlin’,” he murmurs.

you’d ask him what in the word he’s doing, but sleep is just far too enticing to ignore. you fall into slumber with bucky’s warmth along your back, his arm draped over you.

the next morning, you wake to the feeling of his fingers playing with the tiny bow on the front of your panties and his lips placing gentle kisses on your shoulder. you hum, eyes still closed, in the back of your mind thinking this is a nice way to wake up. at the sound of you, his touches get firmer, more insistent.

“good morning,” he rasps, breath tickling your ear.

you don’t really get a chance to reply. he dips his fingers into your panties, making you inhale sharply, moaning as you buck into his hand. he fingers you for a while, kissing along the column of your throat, biting and sucking marks into the skin there. when you’re begging him for more, he relents, eases your panties off and lifts your leg to slide in from behind. the angle is so nice it has you gasping.

you clutch the sheets weakly, burying your face in your pillow and muffle your whines and moans. bucky keeps a slow, lazy rhythm, acting as if he’s got all the time in the world to draw this out. it’s good, so good, and you can’t hold back your whimper when he kicks up the pace a little, tells you to touch yourself. you come seconds before he does, shuddering through it and humming happily.

as you both lie there and catch your breath, awareness trickles into your mind. you swallow roughly, staring blankly at the wall as you realize your feelings have grown far too much for this to be only casual anymore.

bucky kisses your shoulder again. “i’m gonna go make breakfast, okay? i’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“okay,” you whisper, blinking rapidly to keep tears from forming.

hearing bucky bustle around your kitchen makes your heart clench with want; want for something you can’t have.

***

bucky: dinner tonight?

you bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the text. you know you need to cut things off with him before you get anymore hurt than you already are. it’s not fair to either of you if you continue with this arrangement when you’ve caught real feelings for him. you have to tell him, and soon. with that thought in mind, you type out a reply.

you: sure. what time?

bucky: reservations are at 8pm, i’ll pick you up by 7:45.

reservations? where was he taking you? you get another text before you can ask.

bucky: dress nice ;)

with a sigh, you text back an affirmative and try to start mentally preparing yourself for the conversation you dreaded having. you could only hope and pray that he agrees to still be your friend after.

by the time there’s a knock on your door that night, you’ve worked yourself up into an anxious mess. you open the door to see bucky standing there with a single peach colored rose and a bashful grin.

“hi,” he greets, leaning in to kiss you on your cheek. “this is for you.”

he hands you the rose and you feel your heart crack in your chest. you muster a small smile.

“thank you. let me go put this in a vase and we can head out.”

he nods and waits patiently at the door. as you fill a vase with a little water, you take a deep breath, giving yourself a mental pep talk.

this was going to suck.

the drive to the restaurant doesn’t take too long, and when you see where he’s taken you, your eyebrows shoot up. this is one of the nicer places in the city, definitely not on the affordable side. he helps you out of the car, leading you inside with his hand on the small of your back. you’re led to a small booth in a far corner with overhead lighting that feels too intimate. maybe you’d have to wait until you left to tell him…

conversation is light, a bit surface level, and you get the feeling that bucky is a little nervous. you wonder if maybe he’s gonna let you down gently first, hoping that he doesn’t, because you’d rather not cry in such a fancy restaurant.

after the waiter takes your drink orders, bucky sighs.

“okay, let me just… get this off my chest.”

oh fuck, here it goes.

“i know i’ve never really come across at the most romantic guy, especially since i’ve never felt the need to be.” he runs a nervous hand through his hair. “you’ve always been so important to me, and this last month has been so, so wonderful.”

“bucky…” you trail off, attempting to somehow stop him, but he powers through.

“i just—i never thought i’d find somebody, you know?” he says, earnest, gaze locked on yours. another crack in your heart. “especially not somebody who was my friend first, that i already had a solid foundation with. the attraction had always been there, but the friendship meant more to me, and finally allowing that to blossom into this amazing, new, fun relationship has got to be the best decision i’ve ever made.”

did he start dating someone and not tell you? oh god, has he been sleeping with someone else? at the same time? your stomach turns, eyes burning, hating yourself more and more as he speaks.

“so, i guess what i’m trying to say is,” he says, rolling his eyes at himself and smiling, “happy one month anniversary, sweetheart.”

you blink, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “what?” you croak, beyond confused.

bucky, however, looks concerned. “baby, why are you crying?”

“i…” you blink some more, eyes flitting around the room as if you’ll get some kind of clarity that way to the situation currently happening. “what?” you repeat.

“did i come on too strong?” he asks, looking embarrassed now. “i wasn’t sure if you’d even want to celebrate, but i’ve just been so happy with you—i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve asked.”

“bucky, what are you talking about?” you finally manage, unable to keep the bewilderment out of your tone. “anniversary?”

bucky frowns. “i didn’t get the date wrong, did i?”

“no, i—this isn’t—i’m not talking about—ugh, i mean, when did we even start having an anniversary to celebrate?”

bucky’s face goes blank, sitting back in his chair. your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, so fucking confused, so fucking hopeful.

“we… we’re dating,” he says, slow, unsure. “aren’t we?”

“since when?” you ask probably too loudly, cheeks flushing.

he opens and closes his mouth a couple times. “when i asked you out?”

“bucky, oh my god, you’re gonna have to be more specific before i lose my goddamn mind. when did you ask me out?”

he huffs, his own cheeks flushing. “at the cafe! a month ago, at brunch with natasha and sam.”

your eyes widen in disbelief. “when you asked if you could fuck me until i cried?” you hiss, ignoring the scandalized look on the waiter’s face as he brings your drinks over.

smiling apologetically, you thank him and wait until he’s gone before sending a glare bucky’s way.

“that’s not how you ask a person out,” you seethe.

“i asked if you wanted to give this a try and you said yes!” he replies desperately. “i’ve taken you on dates!”

you pinch the bridge of your nose, thinking of all the times you thought he was being too romantic, more-than-friends type of behavior. you’re a fucking idiot, but god, so was he.

“at no point did you say anything even remotely close about us starting a relationship. i thought we were just fucking, bucky, i didn’t realize it was more than that!”

“you don’t—“ he starts, then stops, looking down at the plate in front of him. “you don’t want to be with me?”

“i didn’t know it was an option,” you say carefully.

“well, it is.” he meets your gaze, cautious. “i just spilled my guts to you. you know how i feel now. how do you feel? about me?”

you lick your lips. “bucky, i… i was planning to end things with you tonight.” his expression drops, even though he tries to mask it, so you’re quick to explain. “not because i don’t like you, but because i do like you and i thought you wouldn’t want anything more than just sex with me.”

“it’s never been and never could have been just sex with you,” he replies, quiet and relieved. he reaches across the table to take your hand in his. “i meant it when i said you’re the best decision i’ve ever made. i want this—the sex, the dinners, dates, all the gross and sappy shit i never wanted before… i want it all with you, if you’ll have me.”

you can’t fight the smile spreading across your lips. “of course i’ll have you, bucky.”

he smiles in return, a laugh bubbling out of him, which makes you giggle, until you’re both laughing so hard and loud that patrons from other tables are sending dirty looks your way, which only makes you laugh more.

“do you wanna get out of here?” you ask, laughter dying down. “there’s pizza and sex calling our names, i think.”

bucky moans dramatically. “i knew i liked you for a reason.”

he leaves money on the table and then the two of you quickly make your way through the restaurant, giggling and holding hands the whole way, even in the car.

[minsh0e]

mini astrology observations 1/???

hi hi ! these are my first (and probably last) astrology observations. i expect that you might not agree with any of these so i am open to criticism. i also want to point out, that i am not a professional. have fun reading <3

p.s. - the art belongs to kibong rhee/이기봉

...

☆ pisces/12th house placements 🫱🏻‍🫲🏽being tired/sleepy all the damn time for no reason

☆ your house/sign stelliums might refer to the part of your body you should focus on when considering fashion. for instance: people with pisces/12th house placements might really like shoes, person with aries/1st house placement can look great with anything related to head (glasses,ribbons,hats etc.), taurus/2nd house people might look great with necklaces or any jewelry...

☆ i don’t know why, but I always get attracted to men whose mars trines mine venus…like four men that i found to be amazing, had all mars in the same element as my venus. the aspects weren’t mostly even that tight, yet i felt something!? of course this might not apply to you (because you should consider everything else in natal charts, synastry chart etc.), but men are represented as mars and women as venus after all…try to check this next time you like someone or if you are with somebody.

☆ people who have 3rd house or 5th house placements that are negatively aspected might have problem with presenting (even the ideas) or social anxiety disorder. both houses are related to youth so it may have showed in their early years. this will most likely be seen/felt if the aspects are present in between these two houses (for instance square).

☆ this is very random, but your mothers moon might be in the same sign as your descendant.

☆ scorpio placements (especially moon, mercury and mars) are so hard to deal with and not just for the person who has them, but also for everybody else around. for instance: my mom and sister both have these and i can’t argue with them as i always loose and come out as the “bad one”. these placements always stand up for their opinions and might say something harsh without really meaning to. they also might try to find excuses/backup for something to avoid being hurt (in conversations as well). deep inside they are very fragile…this might apply to aries placements as well. 

☆ why are virgo mars men always thinking about “that thing” (aka. are h*rny). even when something innocent was said, they connect it with doing “it”. double points to those, who have mars in their 10th house.

☆ if the houses in the synastry are overlapping each other so that the 1st house overlaps with 1st, 2nd or 12th house (if the ascendants are close to each other), people with this synastry have bigger probability to complement/understand each other really well. that is because one persons placements may fall into the house that is same to their placement in natal chart or the natal chart of the other person. these people are at home with each other and probably went through the same life experiences, therefore they don’t need to be afraid to be judged. they just get each other. this is literally a soulmate connection. what i mean:

→ if you look at the neptune you can see, that they fall into the same houses. same goes for pluto etc.

☆ venus is what you like and what you want and therefore, it can represent your ideal partner and what you are looking for in them. this applies to both women and men.

...

okay, that is all. feel free to leave your feedback :)

edit: just checked this post and i don't know what to think...thank you all so much for such a reaction, i appreciate it a lot :D love you <3

[cozycottagetarot]

Quick Pick: Messages From Your Person

Hello, my loves! It's been way too long, but I'm finally back (hopefully for a long time) with a new reading as well as a bit of a rebrand. Today's reading is focused on messages from your person (kind of in the realm of a future spouse but generally a long-term partner) but I think for some of you it may come across as a current partner as well.

This is a pretty experimental reading for me. I want to start including an 'energy check' of sorts to help you better figure out if a pile is for you or not. I've done 'channelled' messages before but I felt weird about them so I've decided to give it a try again. The message aspect of this reading is just a free-flow writing of the cards that were pulled. And of course, I decided to play around a little bit more with my graphics. I'm always open to feedback, so I'd love to gather your thoughts on the set-up and reading itself.

Elle 🌿

P.S. I'm trying to re-do my masterlist but can't locate all my old pacs easily. If you come across one, I wouldn't mind if you send me the link. 🙏

Support My Work | MASTERLIST

Disclaimer: When reading tarot, my aim is to focus on self-reflection and seeking guidance. The readings you'll find here are designed to add a pinch of fun and entertainment to your day. While I might sprinkle in some advice that hopefully vibes with you, please remember that these insights aren't a substitute for any professional advice you might need-- after all, you know your journey best! For any love-related or future-focused readings, consider them captivating musings exploring possibilities. Divination inspired stories even. I can't predict the future but I do hope to add some enjoyment and insights into your everyday. Lastly my darlings, please take from these readings what resonates with you most, be it some, all or none, and leave the rest. 🌟

PILE 1

Note: Pile 1 your pile gave me absolute hell the first time around 😭. I was writing/channelling the message and the energy literally just gave way at one point, I was flabbergasted 🫨. Anyway, the second pull was much clearer, but I included notes I felt were important from the first pull in the post-reading notes section.

Your Energy:

Going through an awakening. A need or call for self-reflection. A new cycle is beginning. You must face what you are running from within, but you must also be patient. Rely on your inner strength. Needing to learn more about yourself before doing/trying something different. Potentially finding yourself in part of a mentorship. Connecting with people similar to yourself. Navigating regrets. Needing to let go of the old you. Needing to ground yourself.  A strong energy of needing to look within yourself. It is time to prepare yourself for your next journey.

The Message:

Can you let the past go? We’ve been through so much, the both of us, on our own and together. Why do you hold on to it when our future is waiting for us? I know I hurt you and I apologize. You didn’t deserve any of the pain I caused you. I don’t blame you [it felt like there was a specific reason but I couldn’t get the specifics] but I feel lost without you. I could tell you why, I want to, but words mean nothing without action. You know my story. My relationship with my mother, how that shaped me. You know I love the attention of it all, having everyone’s eyes on me. Makes me feel good.. makes me feel. But no one else’s attention mattered like yours did. I felt most close to myself with you. Please, please let go of that version of me you’re holding onto in your head. I’m taking space because I need to heal. I need to heal my relationship with me first before I can heal it with us. This isn’t goodbye; just so long for now. I’m taking time to put that me in the past too and find myself and what I want from this life. I mean it’s simple really, I want you, us. I want to give you the good life you deserve, but I need to fix myself first. Give me the self-love I deserve.

Post-Reading Notes:

There’s a mature, sad regretful energy. Someone on a journey of self-exploration. Two hurting souls who met at the wrong time. One of you may be further along in your healing journey or you’ve both healed parts of yourself and your relationship that the other one hasn’t healed yet.

First Pull Notes:

One of the first things that came to mind for me is a dark night of the soul… I haven’t heard that term in so long and I’ve completely forgotten what it means, but for someone in this pile, I feel like that may resonate a lot. Going through a tough time. Blow after blow. Your higher self or inner wisdom is trying to reach you. Introspection before a new beginning. An ending of something you don’t want to let go of?

Big things are happening in your life, and significant changes are taking place even though it might not seem that way right now. Lots of air energy. Gaining mental clarity is super important for you right now. Breakup vibes? You two are like opposite sides or motivations of the same energy. Holding on when you know you should let go. This is definitely your person (one of the cards literally says ‘You’re my person’).

PILE 2

Your Energy:

For some of you are at the end of suffering but lying to yourself about the truth of the outcome, while for others you’re running from the mistakes made along the way. Maybe it's both. You’re still grieving all that is lost, be gentle with yourself. Hard work and consistency may await you but keep at it. Adventure is closer than you think. You’re on the brink of success. Moving forward hurts, but you must. Your person (or something you've been romanticising) is waiting for you. You just have to be brave enough to step through the gate. Opportunities are coming your way. If you're interested in floral hobbies or embroidery go for it.

The Message:

I hear you. I haven’t given up on you. I hear the songs you play for me, I hear the songs of your heart. You’re my love, my soulmate. We were meant to be, you and me. You’re not crazy or insane, or any other term you demean yourself with. You’re my everything. I can feel your soul even though we’re apart. If I close my eyes hard enough, I can feel you there. I can see your sparkling soul mirroring mine... sad eyes, bright smile, you leave me in awe. I know you call to me, and I’m sorry I’m not there. Don’t hate me for it, please. I’m leaving behind all that has been holding me back… the same as you. I’m sorry it’s so lonely. I want to meet. What do you say? Impromptu trip to the tropics? Somewhere cold? I just want to escape the world with you and lie in your arms. You’re my home. I sit in your energy and let it guide me your way. But I do need time. Please be patient with me. I haven’t abandoned you. I’m finding me, for you. I dream about you so often and being the kind of person you’d inspire me to be.

Post-Reading Notes:

"I need you to run to me, run to me, lover." (Run by Hozier, the chorus specifically. I know the song is supposed to be a metaphor but I'm suggesting it at face value). A very healing energy to your person's messages. Your person could also fantasise about you a lot... in a non-x-rated 18+ kind of way. It was mentioned on one of the cards but that part of the card felt awkward in the rest of the cards. They’re possessive, it doesn't seem like in a negative or extreme way but again, that's not something that was strong or clear. There’s something to do with the attention of others. They just want to be yours completely… Honestly, a submissive yet dominant kind of energy. A protector and/or provider (take that as you will) who is absolutely smitten with you and will do anything you say.

I don't typically read for it, but one of the cards had twin flame written on it. It could also be symbolic of mirroring each other in your personal journeys in life.

PILE 3

Your Energy:

Powerful yet solitary energy. A new chapter of your life. Accomplishing a big goal. Moving to a new location. Creating a good foundation for yourself in preparation for what comes next. Balancing your energies. Sleep issues. Struggling with anxiety or managing thoughts after a traumatic event. Celebration. Having security. Authoritarian role or vibes.

The Message:

Okay, I can do this: I can’t get you off of my mind. I’m constantly thinking of you, viewing your content, trying to set myself up to run into you. I know it’s silly, especially since you hurt me. Who pines after the person that hurt them? Well, it wasn't meant to be mean. You’re just so mysterious I can’t ever read you and it or you make me nervous. I’m always worrying about what to say. I want to talk to you but opening up to others is hard. I’m afraid I’ll start crying or you’ll hear my voice crack. You’re my person. I’m sure of it. You’re everything I’ve hoped for in a person, everything I dream about before I go to sleep at night. You’re doing so well for yourself, but I want to spoil you and be there for you. Not always materially. I know you can cover that for yourself. But being there for you and spending time with you… I heard you were seeing someone. I hope it’s not true and even if it is, I hope it doesn't last. No, I’m not sorry. I’m going to work up the courage to reach out to you soon.

Post-Reading Notes:

Oh Pile 3, you’re so intimidating to your person. Secret admirer vibes. I definitely think you’ve got a very serious or professional energy and an intimidating appearance. That may especially be true if you’re taller than average for your demographic/s. The energies here feel very balanced or neutral (not heavily feminine or masculine) on both your end and theirs.

PILE 4

Your Energy:

Such a beautiful light-hearted energy. There’s such a beautiful and hopeful energy in this relationship here but it’s also possible someone or something is working against you right now. A very important decision is being made. Someone could be trying to take something from you, but keep going. You’ve got this incredible power/energy to you. Vows are super important, be it making them with someone else or making a vow to yourself to gain or achieve something. Collaboration. Having everything you need to succeed. There could be challengers coming your way but you're strong enough to overcome them.

The Message:

I’m sorry. I don’t know, that was immature of me. I swear it wasn’t like you thought but don’t worry I’m going to do better. Honest. You know, I dream about us being together and growing old. I dream about our kids. They’re so stinking cute. We’ve still got growing to do, ok, or I’ve still got growing to do. Please talk to me. You know I hate it when you give me the silent treatment. I know I disappeared on you and that wasn’t cool. I just get so… I care about you a lot. I don’t want to see you hurt. I want the best for you. I know I act all big and bad but I’m a softie at heart. That fight was weird. I don’t like it. It wasn’t like us. It meant nothing I know. Would you pack up and run away with me if I asked? I hate the distance between us right now. Im always listening to our playlist. I know I acted like I'm uninterested in something serious but I am. I want you. I miss you. I want to spoil you and give you everything you deserve. Just give me a chance. Please hear me out.

Post-Reading Notes:

The vibes while doing the reading felt like very young vibes? There’s a youthfulness there. Someone who either is actually young in age or hasn’t grown up emotionally in a certain aspect. It felt like they did something prideful that was hurtful to you and you two are in a disconnect during the moment captured in the reading. It didn’t feel like a serious fight. More so when you’re upset with someone and acting like you’re madder than you really are (your vibes) and the other person is sweating and begging you to talk to them again (their vibes).

Also, idk why but Peter Parker kept coming into my head 🕸️. I’m not feeling to analyse it so take it as you will.

[alicerosejensen]

Find me pt.1

Warning: kidnapping, mention of blood, two-person narrative (Leon v reader), castle with bioweapons, angst, trauma, dark, forced relationships, hints of sexual violence.

Summary: half a year. That’s exactly how long it took Leon to get on your trail and try to find you. He is ready to do anything to get you back, but hope fades every day.

A/N: I'll probably still post this when I get inspired. The warnings will vary depending on each chapter. You can think of this story as a big reference to another Capcom game.

I apologize for any mistakes because English is not my native language.

Feedback is welcome, but no insults please.

Prologue here.

His eyes closed by themselves from lack of sleep when Leon looked at the received data, which for him is now equal to the treasure, or more precisely, the key to the treasure is to you. Ingrid said that this could turn out to be a false trail, the threads that he had been looking for for so long turned out to be either a waste of time, or led to a dead end stopping the whole thing. And only now, six months later, a single clue that appeared literally out of nowhere makes you drop everything and try to find you.

Hannigan looks at the audio file trying to determine whether it is a fake or not. She runs it through a lot of programs trying to make sure that it's not gluing while Leon is standing next to her, clutching the back of the chair she was sitting at.

"Tell me this is a real recording," the tone of his voice was almost pleading and at the same time scared as he heard your recorded crying over and over again.

"Yeah." Hannigan's hesitant voice made Leon lower his head and look at the woman who continued to click her fingers on the keyboard.

"Hannigan?"

"We don't know when this recording was made…Maybe it's a trap. Another false trail that will lead nowhere. We've checked everything Leon! We found a car with DNA traces, but the trail ended. There were no witnesses, no recordings from the cameras, it was as if she had fallen through the ground."

Leon froze. The arguments were weighty, but what does he have besides this record?

"What's the point of being trapped after six months?" He sees Ingrid biting her lip trying to squeeze out as much data as possible. "If this was a kidnapping for ransom or luring me out, they would immediately get in touch, but nothing. So it wasn't me or the money that was needed, but my wife."

"However, we have not been able to find a motive. I checked all the documents, passport, parents, records from the hospital where y/n was born - there is nothing that could give us a tip. It's all clear."

"Or we don't see something," he sighed.

Leon was sure that something was missing. But it was not on the surface, but somewhere in the depths, which is not so easy to get to. When he was informed about the shots in his house and found a mess with a syringe lying on the floor, he really had hope that he would be contacted very soon. He waited a week, then a second without leaving the search, because with the current level of technology it is impossible to completely cover up all traces so that they lead nowhere, and in the end Ingrid quickly found a car with traces of your hair and drops of blood on the back seat, but that was it. You became one of those who mysteriously went missing.

But no one asked for money, no one sent any extortionate emails or calls. At one point, Hannigan even put forward the theory that you could have initiated your abduction yourself, but he refused to believe it. Why would you leave like that if you could just break up with him, even though on the day you left, Leon was ready to swear that everything was fine between you.

So it just didn't make sense.

Leon speaks softly. He is pacing the room, waiting for additional information, at least from where this recording was sent to him. The sound of the keys echoes in his head and Leon rubs his face tiredly, stopping his gaze at your photo.

"There was a drug in the syringe, there was her blood on the needle and on the floor, in total two shots were fired from the Matilda, one into the closet and the other into the ceiling... traces of a struggle..." Leon quietly wondered out loud, trying to understand what he could have missed, but it seems more there was nothing left that he could grab onto.

"Leon?" Ingrid suddenly called and Leon was next to her in one sharp movement. “I think I found it!”

A map and tracked coordinates appeared on the screen, presumably from the place where the recording with your request for help was sent.

"This..."

“Not low beam”

Leon twitched anxiously, seeing the designated forest area, looking meaningfully at Hannigan, who rested her chin on her hand, not believing what she found. At one time, intelligence discovered Ashley in a godforsaken Spanish village, but she was kidnapped with the aim of infecting her with a plaga and sending her to Graham, and what Leon saw on the map defied any logic. How did you end up in a mountain range in another country?

“This is Leon’s mistake. There is nothing there, mountains and forest, another mistake, someone made a cruel joke.”

“Not if there is any hint of civilization there.”

It was an unnecessary risk. Hannigan is still trying to find at least some information about the nearest village in these places. On the one hand, it’s an ideal place to hide a person, but on the other hand, there are no guarantees that you will end up there and that Leon won’t go to hell in a meaningless search. Suddenly you have been dead for a long time, although Ingrid’s female intuition tells her that until he finds your body or at least clear evidence of your death, Leon will continue to sniff out the trail of his beloved, like a devoted bloodhound, even if there are no traces left.

You are not the daughter of the president, only the forces of Leon and Hannigan are sent to search for you, the latter helps him only out of the kindness of her heart, and no one will send reconnaissance to find at least something that indicates that you were even really in this place. But Leon worked as an agent for too long, he saw the underside of this world and in theory assumed that there might be a house or village in which you are being kept for some unknown reason, but even if it’s all a trap and you are bait, then Leon is ready to go there.

"Nothing, Leon," Hannigan's annoyed voice must cut off hope. He himself sees no signs of human life on the screen. “No one even reports missing people in populated areas”

“I don’t have anything else anyway, right?” he answers confidently, taking his phone to get the exact coordinates “The fact that there is nothing on the map and no one reported missing tourists means nothing. There are places that someone hides very well.”

“This is your personal mission… I won't be able to help you there. I can book tickets, find someone to help with the weapons, but no outside support. You'll be on your own there.” Ingrid drawled sadly, hoping that he would come to his senses or at least weigh everything again before taking an unjustified risk, "You don't know what awaits you there, perhaps there is nothing there except trees, wild animals and mountains. Let's check it out again?!"

"For six months!" he exclaimed, "I've been trying for six months as a bloodhound to find at least something that can shed light on the kidnapping of my fiancee. I have the coordinates and her message for help, which you yourself confirmed was not falsified. Even if I can't find anything, I'll at least try. She wasn't taken away for money or to get back at me… there's something else there, and if she's there…" Leon poked his finger at the monitor, "then she's completely alone there. Defenseless and vulnerable to any danger if they want to harm her."

There was an oppressive silence. It was useless to convince Leon to wait at least a little longer before rushing headlong for a single straw, but she had already delayed him enough. All Hannigan could do for him was squeeze out any crumbs of information about the area, record it, and help with the equipment. At least the technical component. And if they both believed in God, they could pray for a successful return.

"Allright, have it your way." she spread her hands in surrender.

The awakening was painful and difficult. However, between brief glimpses of wakefulness that quickly ended with another dream, you could feel Leon's gentle touches all over your body. His breath on your neck and lips was like an apologetic kiss. You tried to dodge, as you usually did in the morning when you were still asleep, but he was persistent, after which you vaguely heard laughter through the veil… Heavy, broken, unlike Leon's usual laugh. Random images flashed before your eyes, and the last thing that made you fully wake up was the bang of your head on the floor and the sound of a gunshot, after which you abruptly opened your eyes, looking straight at the dark ceiling, trying to figure out what happened.

Tick tock tick tock

The sound of the clock ticking filled the space, remaining for a while the only thing your mind could focus on. Your head was pounding painfully as you stared madly at the dial, standing a few meters away from you, barely discerning what time it was. The lump on your forehead throbbed unpleasantly and may have caused a concussion after that bastard hit your head on the floor with all his might so that you lost consciousness. Feeling with your fingers the place where the skin painfully swelled, you painfully hissed down immediately removing your hand, stopping it and tried to breathe deeply trying to put the latest events in chronological order.

However, nausea rolled in waves, forcing you to squeeze the bedclothes in your hands and finally realize that the environment in which you are unfamiliar.

A dark room lit by a single fireplace in which a fire was still burning warmed the space making it less frightening, but the pouring moonlight from the window made the soul shrink from the horror of the unknown. You slowly looked around realizing that you were lying on a huge bed with a giant canopy of a delicate green shade on silk bedding of the same color. Everything seemed so unreal. As if it were a nightmare and now someone will jump out from around the corner at you and you will wake up realizing that nothing terrible really happened, but after sitting on the bed in one position for several minutes without moving in the hope of waking up, in the end you realized that you were no longer sleeping.

Your eyes involuntarily began to look at paintings by unknown artists. A portrait of a woman sitting at a small table with a human skull on it, an aristocrat with noble features as if carved out of stone, ordinary landscapes… You put your feet down on the cold stone floor, immediately shuddering and slowly wandered to the window to understand your location, but all you saw outside was an endless forest area without a hint of roads.

Listening to other sounds besides the annoying knocking of the clock and the fire, you hugged yourself by the shoulders, thinking that it was definitely not worth shouting just yet. The room you were in was clearly made in the Gothic style and in the current situation it only caused discomfort, given the fact that upon closer examination of the paintings you were able to understand that in front of you were originals and not reproductions. Old Varnish should have been removed a long time ago, perhaps it made these stories less dark, but this is clearly not something that should be thought about now. Turning around in search of some kind of closet to throw on something warm, you could see clothes neatly laid out on a dusty chair: a white shirt with wide cuffs tapered at the wrist, which was probably worn with a short tapered floral pink vest without sleeves, reminiscent of a corset with lacing on the chest, dark trousers and elegant boots next to them that look like they are made of real leather. The sole is small but looks comfortable and is just your size.

Examining the clothes in his hands, it was impossible not to notice the quality of the fabric, for the shirt was clearly silk, and besides, next to it, on an elegant carved table, someone had carefully left a metal box with decoration and a fresh red rose, which until recently seemed , bloomed in some garden, filling the air with its aroma.

You lowered your hands, taking the box in your hands, carefully opening it, as if a spider or other crawling crap might jump out of it, which always filled you with uncontrollable horror, but nothing catastrophic happened. Inside was a cameo brooch, decorated along the edge with fifty small stones resembling diamonds, and at the bottom hung a drop of pearls. Leon once gave you something similar, but it was in no way comparable to what was now in your hands. It was clearly worth your year's salary. It’s not like you had a choice… in the corner of the room, of course, there was a chest of drawers, but you couldn’t find anything in it except snow-white sheets, and you didn’t really want to walk around in negligence. Considering the fact that you were given no choice and that at least the clothes looked comfortable, you decided to comply, scared by the fact that everything fit perfectly as if it was tailor-made for you. You even caught the brooch on your vest because someone probably left it here on the table on purpose.

“Well, at least I feel a little better,” you thought, sighing as you found the mirror. The lack of light made it difficult to judge how bad the bump on his forehead was, but perhaps that was for the best. There were still no footsteps or sounds in the room behind the wooden door, but so you quickly put your hair in a not-so-neat bun so that it wouldn't get in the way while you explored the area and tried to figure out what happened to you after you were attacked and left here.

Perhaps you should find a phone and contact Leon or the police directly… There must be some connection, right? Looking back again, trying not to pay attention to the slight dizziness and nausea, your gaze lingered on a metal plate hanging directly above the fireplace with some kind of inscription engraved on it, but you did not look at it or at other objects in the room. . Not now… all that mattered at that moment was to find someone or something that would help you navigate and call for help.

With a soft tread, almost quietly like a cat, you pushed the door forward and it gave way, making a slight creak, forcing only to pray that it would not attract unnecessary attention, your head poked out looking around. Cold stone walls like in a medieval castle pressed down on consciousness, the wind blew down the gloomy corridor so that even clothes did not save too much and you wanted to throw some kind of jacket on top, but you took a step forward rejoicing that there are familiar lamps here, even if they shine a little badly, but it was better than if there were candles here.

However, the candelabra here were also really empty. When you were completely out in the hallway, you couldn't figure out which way to go to the right or to the left. It was too dark on the left and you wanted to go there the least, so you wandered in the direction where the wind was blowing, listening carefully to everything, trying not to fall off any stairs, although it was not very bright here, but still your eyes could distinguish the situation well and in the end you went down somewhere to a single door. Pulling the handle, it turned out that the door was closed on the other side and except for the old junk lying under the stairs, overgrown with cobwebs in places, there was nothing, which obviously made you turn around and go upstairs again, turning into that dark corridor where you initially did not want to go, but it seems that the choice was small.

Of course, you could go back to the bedroom and wait for a miracle or trouble, the latter seemed like a more obvious scenario, but still you can't leave everything on its own, even if you find yourself in the most non-standard of all situations. Eventually, after passing through the already familiar room again, you breathed a sigh of relief when you realized that the corridor was not at all as long as it initially seemed, and the door at the end was fortunately unlocked and led you to some long well-lit balcony. Your heart was beating wildly from fear of the unknown, but you still walked forward with your hand on your chest, walking to the other end, passing by some more locked rooms, stopping only at the moment when you clearly noticed a bright scarlet stripe on the floor as if something was being dragged… … like a corpse, and the red streak seems to be blood. Your feet were rooted to the ground as you looked around in a panic, looking for potential danger. Despite the disgusting silence, no one was nearby or someone simply did not want to be noticed earlier than expected, so at your own risk you decided to follow the bloody trail that ended abruptly. There were stains on the floor as if someone had tried to wash them earlier, perhaps they didn’t have time to do it or… Well, Leon always said that you have a rich imagination, which no one from your family ever argued with, so you decided not to give it free rein just yet because that otherwise it will drive you crazy.

It was all just disgusting. You realized for sure that you were in some kind of castle or giant mansion that clearly needed cleaning in places, and the worst thing was that all the rooms here practically remained locked. After an hour of wandering through the dark corners, you were damn cold and lost in addition, despite the fact that you found nothing and could not go anywhere except a couple of chambers, although mice ran through there a couple of times and spiders wove a web in the corners, which horrified you, forcing you to quickly slam the door and scream several times. No one really showed up. On the one hand, it was calming, but on the other it was aggravating.

You need at least some kind of map to figure out which part of the building you're in at all, but all you've found is useless trash and increased anxiety. Breathing exercises generally helped, which was why you were on the verge of hysteria. There must be at least a landline phone here! Panic was rolling in and my eyes started to water, I just wanted to call Leon and beg him to take you away from here because every rustle or shadow made you jump on the spot. And if someone really chases you? Where to run to? You don't have a mountain of muscles like Chris Redfield and you're not even Leon's equal. Your brain was clearly no longer trying to think of any plan, and it was at this moment that somewhere in the distance you heard a clock tinkling. It was dark outside, you couldn't see a thing, which made you think it might be midnight.

Startled, you looked around again and still decided to follow the sounds, hoping that they would not lead to your death. Another dark corridor gave way to a lighter one, which led you to a wide oak carved door, which made you even momentarily happy as you entered the wide hall with snow-white marble columns and an almost mirrored floor where a mosaic in the shape of a sun was laid out in the middle of the hall. Everything was luxurious and at the same time forgotten, but the clock that brought you here with a loud blow really showed midnight and it was a real antique! You were ready to swear to God that such a miracle could only be bought by a wealthy well-connected collector. Nearby there were several tables similar to those in your room, and although they were very dusty, in the vases that stood on them smelled sweetly of fresh flowers.

It wasn’t so gloomy here anymore, which helped relax a little. With sincere curiosity, you looked at everything that lay on the tables, and would like to turn the porcelain figurines of animals in your hands, something like this always caught you, causing memories to come flooding back against your will, how during your travels Leon could not tear you away from the souvenir shop where you emptied his card with great generosity, but this was not the case. And although you kept your eyes glued to everything you saw, your feet carefully walked down the steps until you stopped dead in your tracks when you heard loud clapping of hands.

You looked up at the source of the sound but didn't see anyone, however…

"So you've already woken up, my dear?"

[itgirlgyu]

✷ zb1! if not the idols of your heart, what jobs would they be doing?

み this is just inspired by the in bloom lyrics for fun!!! 𓂃𓈒 zb1 ot9 ࿁ do not take it seriously please! › ‹゜

𖥔 zhang hao!

morning show news reporter.

he's up there at the ass crack of dawn at some random man's roof reporting to you live.

like why are you telling me that the morning has come boy??

also see him in the street doing personal interviews but it's always so invasive.

like "have you ever gotten hemmoroids? what are your thoughts on it?"

𖥔 kim jiwoong!

weather boy.

like why are you backing up zhang hao like has the flowers bloomed??

he's gonna tell us that's it's spring next.

it just makes sense because when he has to point somewhere north west in the map

he gets out his make shift cane like he's borrowed it off mr. grey

and he starts appealing his ass to the camera as much as possible.

the rating of morning show has been all time high!

𖥔 sung hanbin!

marriage matchmaker brand ambassador.

neither married nor dating but that's only because he has to lure in customers.

there's cutouts of him making a surprised face at a ring at every corner of seoul.

national "the kind of face that makes you want to get married." in korea.

𖥔 seok matthew!

chain restaurant owner.

but he's like at every goddamn establishment of his, running his mouth and working his ass off with the staff in the kitchen and the servers.

like he's using a hanky to wipe his sweat as closes a partnership deal with a multi millionaire company while serving chicken.

he literally only got big with the help of word of mouth.

like that's the power of a motormouth

𖥔 kim taerae!

strong feeling he should be a judge at rupaul's drag race.

like he literally started the whole sassy men trend idc

he'd get it.

but also he should have been a vine star turned singer either way because

i feel like he'd eat that "here's come hurricane katrina bitch" song.

𖥔 ricky!

jobless rich handsome senior.

literally don't see him working anything other than that god given face of his.

maybe a florist.

but the one that has like 30 staffs under him and only works as an influencer for his 30000 dollars a bouquet business.

like the most he'd do is post a picture on his instagram fixing the bow on his 300000000 dollar bouquet.

and it's always white roses.

𖥔 kim gyuvin!

works part time as a crane in a construction site.

not using the crane but as the crane.

had news paper from all over the globe coming to him like how do you do it?!?

gyuvin—"gotta utlise my height somehow."

also works part time as a break up guru.

i feel like he'd excel in it.

𖥔 park gunwook!

community service down the street with jongho.

he's at there helping grandmas cross the streets and singing and dancing and breaking fights.

breaking apples and showing off his strength.

like yes granny don't worry he'd braid both of yalls hair!

𖥔 han yujin!

i do not support minors working!

COPYRIGHTS RESERVED TO ITGIRLGYU 23'. FEEDBACKS AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! PERM' TAGLIST: @impureperhaps @full-sunnies @ox1-lovesick @jisungsdaydreamer @wonioml @1921choi @forever-in-the-sky2 @beoms-sugar @gyuletters

[here4kpopfics]

Leave the Door Open | JJK

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

Pairing: neighbor!Jungkook x reader

Genre: smut, a dash of fluff, humor

AU: Strangers to lovers. Or Strangers to fwb? Up to you.

Wordcount: 7,367. oops

Summary: Based off this request. Your neighbor loves to sing karaoke in the middle of the night. You finally get fed up and confront him about it. Except when he opens the door, you realize you’re screwed. He’s gorgeous. 

Warnings: Language. All the warnings are smut warnings.

Smut warnings: Explicit sex. Protected sex. Light choking/breath play. Pet names (Sparkles and baby) 69ing oral (both receiving). Light anal play/rim job. Spanking. Biting. Bulge kink. technically cum eating at the end? multiple orgasms. He makes her cry it feels so good.  I feel like I’m missing something else. This is just porn with a very baseline plot

Rating: M / 18+

AN: How did we get here you ask? Well @here2bbtstrash made a request and I was just clocking off work and decided “yes. I wish to suffer. I have an idea” and spent the next 24 hours writing porn. Literally a day after posting my first smut. This is for M, but I hope you all enjoy. And as usual, thank you to the oh so beautiful @jjkeverlast for beta-reading for me. and @chryblossomjjk​ for enabling me with some of these kinks. 🥵 Banner and Divider made by the beautiful @classicseffects​​

and as usual, please leave feedback. Either with a reblog or send me an ask. It’s greatly appreciated. 💜

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It’s been a long day. You had three sets of parents chew you out about the store you work at being out of stock of a specific item. No matter how many times you calmly tell them you have no control over the store’s inventory because you are just an associate, a cashier that never works the floor and couldn’t even begin to tell you where to locate said items. Not your department, not your problem. If your managers really wanted it to be your problem, they should pay you more. But they don’t, and instead schedule you at ridiculous hours and expect the world from you in return. 

It’s finally 9PM which means you get to clock out and bolt home. You’re already planning the instant ramen pack and what to add with it from the convenience door next to your apartment building as you walk out the doors of hell. You want the spicy one. Should mix in an egg or something to bring the spice down a little bit, though. Maybe a bottle of soju as a treat? And absolutely some snacks and it’d be a crime not to get ice cream. 

The whole bus ride home all you can think about is making the food, settling on the couch and watching the most recent kdrama and judging the couple’s miscommunication issues. Maybe a nice bath too. Oh that’d be nice. You’d light some candles, bring the soju in with you, and just stay in the tub with a nice bath bomb. You pray your neighbor isn’t home so you can have some silence. 

You’ve never met your neighbor. He’s literally the apartment next to you, your bedroom shares a wall with what you assume is his bedroom as well. You’re not sure, but going off on the layout of the apartment complex and how similar every unit is, you assume it’s the bedroom. That and the few times you’d heard him bring a friend over and had been able to hear every moan and grunt from both parties. Although you could’ve sworn you heard three at one point. But it was always done on the weekends so it was fine. You weren’t too bothered by his sexcapades. Who were you to judge? If given the opportunity, you’d be bringing people home left and right. But the idea of all that flirting for just a one night stand seemed like too much effort.

Your problem with this mystery neighbor, however, is his karaoke habit. He has the voice of an angel and can sing anything with little effort. You actually enjoy listening to him sing, even softly singing along with him during the day. However, it’s not that often that it happens because he would usually carry out his karaoke escapades after 11PM and continue well into the night, usually around 3 or 4 in the morning. And always on weekdays, when you need the most sleep. You tried to work up the courage to confront him one night, but right when you left your apartment, he stopped and his place was silent. Another night, you just pounded the wall begging him to stop. He did eventually. But not until your thumps on the wall got lighter from you being too tired. 

You finally enter your apartment, with the results of a successful quest for sustenance in your clutches. You slip off your shoes at the door, Toss your purse on the counter and begin preparing food. Mission: eat and drink everything and feel no regrets is a go. 

While the water is boiling, you head to your room to change. You rip off your bra and your pants and grab a giant t-shirt that you’re pretty sure you accidentally stole from a one night stand years and years ago and have been too afraid to contact him again. So it’s yours now. It’s soft and not too thick. And it’s huge, which you love because it makes you look super tiny. You take note of how quiet it currently is on the neighbor's side. You wonder if he’s even home. Not your problem. You remind yourself as you return to the kitchen and get back to food prep. 

It’s now close to midnight and you have eaten all the ramen, grazed across all the snacks, had a good amount of the ice cream, and gone through two and a half bottles of soju and were feeling pretty good. You grow bored of the kdrama and decide it’s time to take that super relaxing bath you daydreamed about on the bus. Your neighbor still makes no noise on the other side, so you take this moment to enjoy some peace and quiet. 

You run the bath, light the assorted candles, and toss the bath bomb in before easing into the slightly too hot water full of oils, pretty colors, and an obscene amount of glitter. You put your hair up and slide down the tub in pure relaxation mode. Trying to erase the horrid customers from earlier. There’s no sounds save for the water dripping out of the tap and any movements you make against the water. 

The problem with relaxing like this in your tub is your breasts aren’t fully submerged in the water. They could be, but then the water would overflow. The cool air hits your sensitive buds, causing you to clench your thighs together. After a few more breezes tease your nipples, you say screw it and reach your hand down between your legs, looking for any kind of friction. Your fingers find your bundle of nerves underwater and begin moving against it in a figure 8 motion. You whimper softly, entering two fingers past your folds, using your palm and the water to continue to work against your clit. Your other hand is massaging a breast, twisting and pulling the nipple every now and again. You could feel the knot in your stomach begin to burn, already so close to release. So close. Just right there. Right there, oh god right the - !

“Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby. I got to tell you a little something about yourself. You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you a sexy lady. But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else.”

What. The. Fuck?

The sudden sound of your neighbor singing and the music blaring through every crack in the walls sends your hand flying away from your center, killing any chance at an orgasm. Your sudden movement causes the water to slosh over the edge and you hastily make to get out of the tub. You get one leg over onto the floor but it lands on a puddle of water and sends you flying forward. You brace your hands in front of you to catch on the countertop before you slam your face into it. Your other leg doesn’t go the right height to get over the tub and instead slams into the side of it. You let out a sudden cry or pain, finally steadying yourself against the counter.

You give yourself a few seconds to assess what the hell just happened. You were masturbating. It was great. You were so close to coming. And then your stupid neighbor decided right then was the time to sing Bruno Mars. And you almost died getting out of the tub. Fan-fucking-tastic.

You catch your breath, until you realize he’s still fucking singing. “That’s it. I’ve fucking had it.” Your voice is laced with hatred as you grab a towel and wrap it around your damp body, not giving a shit about the way you look. You need to give him a piece of your mind and you need to do it now while you have courage, amplified by the soju. You don’t even bother putting on your sandals as you march out your door, turning 90 degrees left and again until you’re facing his door. You take a deep breath and begin pounding on the door, mentally preparing which vile words would come out first. The music stops and you can hear footsteps approaching, but you keep knocking away until the door finally opens. 

“You don’t have to keep knocking ya know, I heard the first three.” He has the audacity to sound annoyed with YOU making too much noise? Seriously? You open your mouth to retort back such thoughts when you finally catch a glance at the beautiful sounding singer with horrible timing that you want to strangle to death. 

Fuck, he’s gorgeous. 

He’s slightly taller than you. Black hair cut almost like a mullet. With his bangs split down the middle. A lip ring attached to his bottom lip. Big round eyes and a nose you immediately deem the cutest nose to exist. A few freckles scattered across his face and neck in the best places, you decide the one under his lip is your favorite. He’s leaning against the door wearing a matching pajama set of black silk with gray rectangles lining the entirety of it. His sleeves are rolled up and fuck he has a tattoo sleeve. You're ruined. 

Your extremely attractive mystery neighbor just stares at you and you’re staring back, lips parted, still trying to find the words you were going to say before you knew you were going to say them to the prettiest man ever. Finally you just grab whatever words you can find so that it’s not silent. 

“Fuck me…” his eyebrow quirks up and he crosses his arms across his chest. 

“Sure, but at least tell me your name first.”

“What?” You frown. 

“Unless you want to stick to nicknames. I’m down with whatever. You can be Sparkly Towel Girl. Though it doesn’t really roll off the tongue as well…” He smirks and it finally clicks in your head what just happened. 

You’re in a towel. Only a towel. Your hair is a mess. You have glitter from the bath bomb glued to your skin that is actually still wet. And you just told him to fuck you. Your cheeks heat up and your eyes go wide. “No! No no no not what I meant.”

“You mean you don’t want me to fuck you?”

“No!” You scoff trying to sound offended. “Why would I want to have sex with you?” He shrugs. 

“I don’t know, baby. You’re the one at my doorstep at 12:30 in the morning sopping wet in a towel sparkling like a fairy saying fuck me.”

“No I don’t. That’s not.” You’re very hyper aware of the towel now and tighten it around your chest, praying he both does and doesn’t see the way your cleavage pushes up. You cover your face, trying to rewind back to when you were angry. What were you angry about? 

OH. The karaoke! 

“I was taken aback. That’s why I said what I said. But that’s not important. What’s important,” you huff, welcoming back your anger with open arms, “is your constant need to sing in the middle of the fucking night on weekdays only. Do you have no consideration for your neighbors who work late nights and early mornings every day? I can accept you having obnoxious sex on the weekends, but keep the singing to day time hours, yeah? I’d like to get a good night’s rest at some point in my life.”

You rush your words, trying to put emphasis on you needing sleep, because you do. You were tired of sleeping only a few hours a night. Even then, it was constantly interrupted by this man’s beautiful voice. You look him in the eye, looking for any form of acknowledgement, until he silently nods. “Okay. No more singing at midnight. I’m sorry.” He almost sounds sincere and you’re willing to accept it and move on.

You make a small enough curtsy that your towel will allow and mutter a thank you before turning to leave. Just as you get back to your door, Sexy Neighbor speaks. 

“You gonna tell me your name though, or am I going to have to call you Sparkly Towel Girl every time?”

You turn back to him with a softer glare this time. “Depends. You gonna tell me yours or am I going to have to call you Attractive Pajama Man?”

“So you think I’m attractive.” The most obnoxious grin forms on his lips. 

“You know you are.” You roll your eyes and turn back to the door handle. 

“Could say the same about you, Sparkles.” He’s having fun teasing you. But his tone turns more serious when he finally looks down at your leg. “Hey you okay?”

You look back at him, eyebrows raised in question. “Yeah, just a little traumatized and embarrassed but I’ll live” you joke, trying to make this as fast as possible so you can get back inside. 

“No, I mean your leg. It’s bruised. And swollen.” You look down and gasp. Somehow in the span of you falling out of the tub and stomping over here to give me pleasant conversation has resulted in a gnarly bump forming on your shin as well as a deep bruise. 

“Oh. That’s. That’s nothing. Ignore that ever happening. It didn’t.” You turn your door handle as he steps away from his door. 

“You should probably go see a doctor. Or at least some ice packs. I have some in my freezer.” He actually sounds concerned as he starts stepping closer to you, eyes still honed in on the bruise.

“No, it's fine. I’m fine. Goodnight, stop singing in the middle of the night please, that's all I ask. Okay goodbye.” You open the door, swiftly rush inside and close the door before he can get to you. 

Once you lock your door and head back to the bathroom to rinse off the glitter, you realize that glitter is just a way of life. No matter if you want it or not. It’s going to be stuck to you for days and follow where you go. You take a look at your leg and wince as you lightly touch it. It doesn’t feel broken, thank god. It’s just deep and super painful. You change back into pajamas and crawl into bed with an ice pack, pain relievers, and extra pillows to elevate your leg. You take the pills and settle in, scrolling through your phone until you fall asleep. Sexy neighbor man didn’t sing the rest of the night. 

He actually didn’t sing the rest of the week. 

He couldn’t. The sexy towel girl at his door looked exhausted. He genuinely had no idea you could hear him. He never heard you make any noises from your shared wall. Originally he was going to just keep singing. One cute girl wasn’t going to tell him what to do. But when he saw the bruise on your leg, he felt overwhelmed with guilt. He could only assume you got it when you rushed to knock on his door by how fresh it was.  

So instead of singing around midnight. He had a hard cut off time at 10:45 and then switched to headphones where he would only sing as softly as he could as far away from the shared wall as possible. 

What bothered him the most was he still didn’t know your name. He could easily go down to the mailbox room and find your number and therefore your name. But he didn’t want to do that. He wanted you to say it. And for you to say his name. He just had to find the right moment. Which was difficult when you seemed to always be out. 

Five days later, he’s working out in his living room. Yes, it’s midnight. Yes, there’s a gym in this building. But he’s got to stay just in case. He’s beginning to lose hope in ever seeing you again, ignoring how ridiculous that sounds when you literally share a wall with him. And it’s only been five days. As he finishes a set of push ups, hope is restored. You’re home. And you’re loud? He freezes, trying to imagine what you're doing just by listening. You’re actually laughing but it doesn’t sound genuine. It almost sounds painful, like you’re angry? A few moments later, he hears music. It’s loud, and he chuckles to himself. 

“Let’s see what happens, Sparkles.” He heads to the bathroom, removing all of his clothes and stepping in the shower to briefly wash off the sweat. He steps out and wraps a towel around his hips. He leaves the shoes just like you did and heads straight to your door, pounding on it in the exact same manner you did. 

You’re dancing around the kitchen, clothes strewn about the floor as a result of you rushing to change into the giant shirt again with just your underwear underneath. You just got to the chorus, brand new bottle of whiskey in hand and are about to go hard into the dance when someone starts pounding on your front door, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. You swing the door open, not caring that your legs and hips were on full display, and are met with you could only assume a hallucination. 

You both eye one another up and down, unable to speak. Your eyes are locked on the towel, specifically the corner of the towel that’s tucked into itself to stay attached to his hips. You’re not sure if you’re drooling from your mouth, but you know another place is. Finally, he clears his throat and grabs your attention away from the towel. 

“I think I see what you meant. It’s a bit hard to focus when that’s what I’m greeted with.” He tries to hide the devilish smile he gestures to your legs. You hum, not really sure if you’re agreeing, and if you are, to what. Your focus is back on the towel and the abs above it. You want to scratch them. You want to mark any part of him you can. He tilts his head, trying to get your attention a second time. “Sparkles? You okay?”

You finally make eye contact with him. “Sparkles?” You question in a whisper, suddenly remembering the last encounter. “Oh…right…” You hum in response again and then look at the bottle of whiskey in your hand and then back to him, his mouth specifically, down to that damn towel, and back to the whiskey. You shrug as if someone made a good point and put the bottle down on the side table next to you. You smile something sinister and reach out for the towel, tugging him inside, with him closing the door behind himself. 

“This is a better option than whiskey.” You let go of the stubborn towel still attached and reach up to wrap your hands around the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to meet yours in a needy kiss. His eyes widen, hands going for your waist, pulling away from your lips

“What is happening right now?” He sounds so serious and you hate it, so you reach back for his lips when he shuts you down again. “First of all. You’re drunk. So this is not happening.”

“I’m not drunk…I was going to. Brand new whiskey. See?” You pick the bottle back up, showing off its perfectly unbroken seal. “You can even smell my breath. Not a lick of liquor. Very sad. But now you’re here. That's way better.” You pull him back down to you and capture his lips again, this time he returns it in full, gripping your waist and pulling you flush against him. 

“As much as I appreciate being considered better than alcohol, and glad you can consciously consent,” he smiles into the kiss, “there’s one more thing, Sparkles.”

“Hmm?” You moan out. He kisses down your chin, across your neck, and buries his face into the crook of your neck, biting and leaving marks along the way. 

“I need to know your name, sweetheart. And you need mine.” 

“I don’t need yours.” You mumble back. He laughs, pulling away from your neck to see your face. 

“You will need it if you’re going to be screaming for me.”

He can actually see you process this thought, mentally going through every scenario where you don’t know his name. Finally settling on him unfortunately being correct. You don’t want to be called Sparkles during sex and you need a better name than Sexy Neighbor. You lock eyes, suddenly very aware of what's going on. You let fears and anxieties walk out the door and you nod. 

“It’s Y/N” you practically whisper. You let your fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, leaning forward to kiss his nose. He smiles at the soft action, tipping his nose up to capture your lips again. This time, slow and methodical, but still as desperate. He only pulls away enough to say his name against your lips. 

“Jungkook, baby. It’s Jungkook. Now let’s get out of your hallway. I have a girl in front of me who had a very specific request last week. I need to fulfill it.” He lowers himself just enough that he can hook his hands behind your thighs and lift you up and return his lips to yours. You wrap your legs around his waist, subtly trying to take the stupid towel off with your feet, but failing miserably. 

You’re not sure how you ended up on your bed. You didn’t tell him where to go. You mindlessly confirm your assumptions were correct and you had the same floor plan so he just knew where to go.

He lies you down on your back, legs still hooked around him and he awkwardly crawls over you, mouths staying connected until he rolls his hips into yours. That stupid towel still attached and rubbing against your covered core. You whimper at the friction, but it’s not enough. 

You let your legs go from around his form and reach down, finally tugging the towel away and tossing it across the room like it was poison. “Finally” you accidentally huff out loud, causing him to burst into breathy laughs on your lips. You ignore him, reaching down for his length which, though you haven’t seen it yet, feels overwhelming. He’s hard and you can feel the precum on his tip as you slide your thumb over it. You bring your hand down his length, twisting your wrist as you bring it back up, thumbing his tip again. His lips part as he lets out a groan. 

“Fuck, baby. Be careful, I’m embarrassed to say I might not last if you keep touching me.” 

You whine. “Want it. Want your cock.” You sound so needy and desperate, the complete opposite of how you usually are in bed. Usually in control, usually a brat that needs to be punished. You’ve never been truly submissive like you feel right now. You can’t bring yourself to care. 

“And you’ll have it. But first, let me taste you and get you ready.” He moves to sit up and push you further up the bed when you mutter out a “No.” He stops everything and looks at you. Your eyes are trained on his member. “No? Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?” You just shake your head again. 

“Wanna taste at the same time.” You mumble, pulling yourself up, pushing the still confused man to be the one that lays back. You peel your underwear off, leaving the shirt on, and crawl over him, hovering your center just above his chest while facing away from him. You lean forward, grabbing his erection and giving a long lick from the base to the tip, wrapping your lips around the tip and sucking. You can hear his guttural reaction and suddenly two hands are violently tugging your hips closer to his face. You stop sucking long enough to reposition your knees on opposite sides of his head. He brings your hips down when you feel settled and dives into your sopping wet center. 

“Shit. That feels so fucking good.” You moan, leaning back down, slowly easing his cock down your throat. He bucks his hips up unintentionally and you gag slightly, but he doesn’t hear. Instead, you brace both hands on his meaty thighs and bob your head up and down, taking him all the way each time and gagging around him before coming back up. You rut your hips against his face as he continues fucking his tongue into you, sucking on your bundle of nerves in intervals. He brings two fingers into play, sliding them against your entrance a few times before easing them into you, letting you fuck yourself with them.

Feeling close to his own release, he glances up at your rim. He runs a thumb along it, adding the smallest pressure possible, yet still earning a pleased reaction from you. He takes that as a yes and brings his tongue to your hole, licking flat against it before dancing his tongue around the rim. You keen, your head falling against his cock that you’re subconsciously still stroking. “Don’t stop. I’m so close. Please, Jungkook. Keep going.”

You find a strand of energy in you, determined to make him come at the same time and wrap your mouth around his tip again, hands working the shaft while you suck mercilessly. You both let out a series of loud moans, groans, and cries before you feel your hips spasm against his mouth, coming hard. At the same time, his hips snap up, ramming his cock even farther into your mouth, shooting the bitter white liquid down your throat. You swallow proudly, resting your head on his pelvis to take a breath. 

“What the hell was that…” was all Jungkook could mutter, still processing what just happened. After a few moments he pats your leg where your bruise was starting to fade. “Wait.” He raises his head, a little shocked. ”Did you swallow?” You smile and nod, rubbing your cheek into his skin, humming out a yes and kissing whatever skin was there. He can barely see what you’re doing, but the feeling alone is enough to make his member come back to life. You feel it twitch and move to sit up again and grab it. But he catches you in time, flipping you around and over so he is now facing you from above. “No no. Not again. You specifically said ‘fuck me’ last week. I intend on doing that.” You groan at the change in positions and mope. You look tired and he’s still thinking about your frustrated laugh from earlier. 

“But first,” he grabs both of your wrists in one hand, sliding them up above your head while holding himself up with the other by your head. He leans down, leaving a soft kiss on your lips. “First, I need to know why you decided to blast music at midnight, and why you were about to crack open a bottle of whiskey by yourself. Are you okay?” his face softens, no longer full of lust. It’s still there, hiding behind his concern and obviously pressing up against your stomach. But he clearly has more important needs right now. Like making sure he’s not about to make a mistake. 

You get lost in his eyes for a moment before nodding slowly, supressing the emotions building up behind your eyes. “Yeah. Just had a bad day. But I’m fine, I promise.” Your smile doesn’t fully reach your eyes and Jungkook doesn’t know if he believes you.

“No bad breakup or fight with a guy or girl I should know about? I don’t do rebounds and I don’t condone cheating.” He’s very serious. You just laugh, this time it’s real and he can tell immediately. 

“God, no. No exes or currents. Haven’t had that in years. No no no. Just…I got fired from my job and want to have something good before having to deal with the impending doom of reality, okay? Just make me forget for a moment, please?” Those stupid emotions are on the brink, threatening to spill from your eyes. You shut them tight, fighting against the feelings you want to let go. He sighs, leaning down to kiss your eyelids, moving up to your forehead. 

“Okay, baby. I can do that. Do you want it rough or gentle?” You puff out a breath, trying not to laugh at the question. 

“Either is fine. Rough would be better…” you mutter under your breath. He just nods, kissing your forehead again, trailing down to your ear.

“I’ll make you forget, baby. Just focus on me and how I make you feel, okay?” You nod, moaning softly when he licks the shell of your ear. “Where are your condoms, y/n?” You gesture with your head to the left nightstand and he lets go of your wrists to briefly move off you to grab one. He comes back, foil unwrapped and rolling it down his length. He gazes down at you and you can see a weird shift in his face. His tone suddenly becomes darker as he slowly pumps himself. 

“You’re gonna be good for me, right babygirl?” You nod enthusiastically, mentally making fun of yourself for switching to full submissive for a guy you just learned the name of. 

“I’ll be good, I promise.” you sweetly respond, lifting and spreading your legs open for him to crawl in between. He sets one leg on his shoulder, leaving the other to rest on the bed as he lines himself up to you, smirking as he rubs the tip against your clit for a moment, watching you squirm before fully entering you without hesitation. 

“Oh fuck” is all you can let out as you lift your hips to meet with him. He lets out a low groan as he pulls out everything but the tip, pushing your hips back down, keeping them there, and slamming back down into you. You arch your back, one hand grabbing onto the bed sheets and the other reaching out for any part of him. He notices, smiling as he leans back down, giving you better access. You find his waist and dig your nails in as he continues with his relentless pace on your pussy. He grunts loudly, fully leaning down over you, both knees over his shoulders. 

You grab his neck and pull him into a sloppy kiss, teeth crashing together as you try to breathe through the pounding. “You feel so good, Jungkook. So big. Stretching me out perfectly. Fuck me just like that please. Don’t ever stop.” You cry out mumbling for him to not stop over and over. 

He finds his new favorite spot on your neck and bites down before sucking, ensuring you’d be marked, and moving on to another spot. You mewl at his little art project on your neck mixed with the feeling of him fucking into you over and over until you come without warning. His hips stutter at the noise and feeling of you clenching around him and he has to still himself inside you before he finishes. “I’m not done with you yet, baby. Flip over. All fours. Now.”

You oblige, albeit slowly. Your legs are shaky and you don’t know if you can hold yourself up very well, but you try. The moment you think you can keep yourself up, a hard smack sound fills the room as his large hand meets your ass. Your arms give out and you almost face plant into the pillows before a tattooed arm slides around your waist pulling you up to your knees. 

“No, you don’t. No resting, baby. On your knees, I’ll keep you up.” His hand slides up your chest, under your shirt, creeping out of the neckline to wrap around your throat, holding you against his chest, letting you rest your head back on his shoulder. You’re panting and whimpering against him. He kisses your temple, quietly asking if you were good to continue. You nod and whisper a yes as he slips himself back inside you and continues his pace like he never missed a beat. 

“Baby, you’re so tight but you take me so well. You feel like fucking heaven.” He pants in your ear, the hand not around your throat sliding down between your legs to your pulsing center. You whine and struggle as he starts rubbing in big lazy circles. It’s after a particularly deep thrust he feels something under his palm. He does it again to confirm and grins. 

“Give me your hand, baby.” You lift it up without thinking too much, unsure where he wanted it. He grabs your wrist and places your hand flat against your lower stomach just above where he’s ruining you. He does another deep thrust and you feel it. Your eyes widen and he chuckles. “You feel that? Feel me all the way inside you?” You’re silent, in shock at the bulge you feel. “How about now, baby? Feel it now?” He gives another sharp thrust, lessening his clutch around your throat, forcing you to cry out. 

“Yes I feel it!” You feel the knot inside you coil up and ignite. “Please. Jungkook. I can’t. I can’t take it anymore. He eases you back on to all fours and you grab a pillow, clutching it for dear life. To compensate for not being able to be on all fours, you put all your strength into raising your ass to meet with his hips perfectly. He groans at the view, slapping your ass again. He uses both hands to grab to give it a massage, separating your cheeks to get a better view. He sees a perfect opportunity to make you see stars and keep your mind off anything troubling you. 

“You wanna come for me, baby?” His voice is low. You nod into the pillow. “Remember what I did with my tongue earlier?” His thumb softly grazes over your hole and you nod, letting out a whiny moan, pushing your ass back for more. “Do you trust me?” You nod again. “No, y/n. I need to hear you say it. Do you trust me?” He asks again. 

You frown, lifting your face out of the pillow just enough to force out the words “Yes, I trust you. Please, let me come. Please.” And tuck your face back into the pillow. 

“Thank you, baby. Relax for me. Just enjoy it.” He pulls out momentarily, chuckling as you whine at the feeling. He sinks his thumb past your folds, gathering up any arousal he could before inserting his cock back inside, eliciting a low moan out of both of you. He smears his thumb across your puckered hole a few times, adding more pressure each time. Once he feels you relax more, he presses his thumb past the tight ring of muscles at the same time as he thrusts his hips deeply into your cunt. 

You suck in a breath and hold it, toes curling, and you bring the pillow even closer to your face, biting down on the satin pillowcase. He holds his position with his free hand on your hip, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. “Breathe, baby. It’ll feel better when you breathe.” He whispers, slowly pushing deeper until his knuckle slips past the muscles. You let out a guttural moan, pressing yourself back towards him, helping him get the rest of his thumb in. “Can I move again, y/n? You’re okay?” You nod into the pillow almost shouting a yes into it. 

He resumes thrusting, starting slow, eventually building back up to his rapid pace curling his thumb with every thrust. Your moans are deep, cut off by trying to catch your breath every other moan. “Jungkook. I’m coming. Please. Let me. Say I can come.” If he wasn’t so close himself, he’d be chuckling at you begging, teasing you and edging you. But he needs his release just as much as you do.

“Come for me, baby. Let go. Come all over my cock.”

And that’s all you need to hear before you’re screaming his name and varied obscenities, clenching around him as you enter a state of euphoric bliss. You see stars and in the background you hear him groan deeply, coming inside of the condom deep inside you. He eases his thumb out of you while you’re out of it and just takes in the view below him, face still in your pillow, back shivering and rising and falling in time with your rapid breathing. How the hell did he just have the best orgasm of his life with a girl he literally met twice even though you’ve been neighbors for who knows how long? His hand on your hip tightens a little as he moves to pull out of you. A small whimper coming from you in the pillow. 

Once he’s fully pulled out of you, you fall on your side, freeing the pillow from your face, ignoring the drip of saliva coming with it and watch him begin to remove the condom. You’re exhausted. You don’t want to keep going. Yet your body moves of its own accord and you hold yourself up enough to reach out to stop him from doing it. “Let me” you choke out. He removes his hands, watching you carefully as you slowly remove the condom, hissing slightly at your touch. 

You hand him the condom to tie up and toss aside and gently hold up his length covered in his release and, locking eyes with him, lick up his length. “What the fu-uck?” He groans out, tossing his head back. You clean up every inch of him, ending on his tip and he has to softly push you away before he gets hard again. “No. Baby, stop. No more. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I am spent.” He whispers into a laugh. 

You grin up at him, launching yourself backwards, spreading out on the bed. Your shirt riding up your stomach. He’s not sure what to do next. Should he leave? Ask to use your restroom first? But why do that when he lives next door. You can see his confusion, you pat the space next to you, gently moving yourself over, wincing all the while, so he has room. He smiles, laying down on his side next to you. It’s silent for a moment. He reaches out to play with the bottom of your shirt. 

“Is there a reason you kept this on?” He questions, mindlessly running his fingernails across the hemline. 

“It’s too big. Makes me feel small. And you haven’t earned the right to see this divine pair of tits.” You smile at his gaping reaction. 

“After all that?! And I still don’t have the privilege?” He drops the fabric and waves his hand around the both of you. “Literally ruined you and I don’t get to see the goods.” He whines dramatically. You giggle, sleep fast approaching. 

“Next time.” You mumble. 

“Oh there’s a next time?” His eyebrows raise and he smiles. 

“You think after all that,” you mimic his gestures, “I wouldn’t want a next time?” You both burst into a fit of giggles. He stops first, reaching out to remove a strand of hair from your face. 

“Well I surely look forward to next time then.” He whispers softly, moving a bit closer at the same time. 

“Who knows? Next time could be in the morning.” You say it so confidently. You had expected him to fuck you and bolt. But him staying has to mean at least a little something, right? Except his happy expression falls into that of worry and uneasiness. 

“I actually have to go out of town tomorrow.”

“Oh…” you frown, trying not to look too devastated. He cups his hand around your face, gently smiling.

“I’ll be back in like three days. I’ll let you know. Then we can have as many ‘next times’ as you want, okay?” He grins as your expression perks back up, leaning across to give you a few soft and sensual kisses. “I’m going to stay here until you fall asleep. But I have to pack, so don’t think I just got up and left in the morning, okay?” You nod your head, shuffling closer to tuck your face into his chest and drift off to sleep immediately. 

When you wake the next morning, he’s gone. As he said he would be. And thus began three days of complete silence. 

On the day of his alleged return, you stayed home all day pampering yourself. You put on one of your favorite lingerie sets that really enhanced your already marvelous chest and curves and put the same big shirt back on over you. 

You were ready by midday but you had one problem. You had no idea when he was coming back. You two didn’t swap phone numbers or socials. He didn’t tell you any details. So you spent the rest of the day on the couch moping about being fooled. Which didn’t make sense in the first place. You two weren’t anything. You had a crazy intense one night stand and that’s it. There was no date offered. No deal made. Nothing. So why were you getting dressed up for a one night stand? You tried to reason with yourself until you fell asleep on your bed around 8PM, figuring he wasn’t going to come back, and if he did, he forgot about you either on purpose or accident. 

You’re jolted awake by loud music and the beautiful voice of your stupid sexy neighbor at 11PM. 

“What you doing? Where you at? Oh, you got plans? Don't say that. I'm sipping wine in a robe. I look too good to be alone. My house clean, my pool warm. Just shaved. We should be dancing, romancing in the east wing and the west wing of this mansion, what's happening?”

He sounds like he’s directly on the other side of the wall and you both hate him for doing this and love that this is how he’s waking you. He continues on as you check yourself in the mirror, convincing yourself you still look good and not to get too excited and eager. 

“I ain't playing no games. Every word that I say is coming straight from the heart. So if you tryna lay in these arms, I'ma leave the door open.”

He belts out the last line and you can’t help but laugh. After a final once over, you head out of your room. He’s still singing as you put your slippers on and head out the door. 

“And I'm hoping, hoping that you feel the way I feel. And you want me like I want you tonight, baby.”

You turn to his door but it’s already cracked open. You roll your eyes at his ridiculousness and open the door to a reverse layout of your apartment. You take your slippers off and follow the sound of his beautiful voice to a room with the door closed. You knock and he answers, finishing the song as your eyes meet his. 

“Girl, I'm here just waiting for you. Come on over, I'll adore you.”

The song ends and your smile turns to one of annoyance.

“You didn’t tell me when you were coming back. I waited all day wrapped up like a gift for you and honestly the least you could’ve done is write down a flight numbe - “ he shuts you up with a greedy kiss and you melt instantly as he pulls you closer. 

“What’s the gift? Do I get to see this divine chest I’ve heard rumors about?” He grins into the kiss, and you hold the laugh in. You step away from him and remove your shirt, showing off the extravagant set underneath. He lets out a strained groan. “You just don’t know how to warn a guy, do you? Get on the damn bed, Sparkles.” He snaps, pulling you into the room and shutting the door. The start of another intense night.

AN: yay open endings. Decide how it goes. Fwb? Lovey dovey? Have fun. Thank you for reading, I love you! 💜💜💜💜💜

[ox1-lovesick]

ᥫ᭡ 투바투 ── reaction to you baking them cookies!

⌕ . . . pairing. txt x gn!reader genre. fluff ☁️ warnings. mentions of food, swearing (?) wc. 100-200 each

⌕ . . . synopsis. you bake tubatu cookies 🍪

⌕ . . . a/n: my first post on this smelly app i hope it doesn't eat ass 😻 also craving cookies really badly rn

── YEONJUN

we all know yeonjun is a BIG foodie,, he'd fall inlove all over again if you baked and cooked for him 💔

thinks it's so romantic.

you? took time out of your busy day? to buy ingredients? and bake cookies? for HIM??? my lordy lord he's so inlove with you

really doesn't matter how much you bake he'll finish them in an hour 💀 even if they don't taste that great, that doesn't matter. they were made by you, with your hands, your love and affection, he will absolutely eat every last crumb.

bonus points if you decorated them cutely, he'll take 15000 pictures from every angle and send them to everyone he knows. his mom, his dad, the members, his childhood friends, his choreographer, his manager, hitman bang, his teacher from the third grade, EVERYONE will know that you baked cookies for him and how delicious they are

── SOOBIN

he's a bit worried at first

traumatized from his own baking experiences (aswell as the members) he probably expects them to taste like charcoal

very hesitant to take a bite because he's worried he'll get salmonella but it surprisingly doesn't taste as bad as he thought it would???

what witchcraft if this???

suspiciously takes another bite and suddenly the entire batch has been polished

your cookies are his new guilty pleasure 😈

WILL NEVER EVER SHARE THEM WITH THE MEMBERS (even if you tell him to) they're his and his only 💔

will hide them up his ass if he has too, they must never know how good your baking is

── BEOMGYU

suspicious #2

beom is a picky eater.

he loves you, don't get me wrong but you'll have to try extra hard if you want him to even nibble on one of your cookies 💀

would probably pick a crumb off the bottom of the plate and say they're delicious 💀

eventually he does give in because as mentioned before, he's whipped ^_^

takes the smallest nibble tho

he literally can't taste anything cause of how little he ate but he'll call you y/n ramsay

you'll have to shovel one down his esophagus for him to taste it 💀

would probably pretend to throw up

but once he's done teasing you he'll compliment your baking ofc <3

as much as he doesn't want to admit it he's now hooked on your cookies

needs them like he needs air

"if i hypothetically asked you to bake your gross cookies again would you hypothetically bake them for me 👉👈"

── TAEHYUN

"🤨🤨🤨🤨"

he prides himself on the fact that he can cook a decent meal and the others can't, so if you were able to do any better than him it'd bruise his ego 💔

he's not gonna throw your tin of cookies on the floor and call them disgusting ofc he'd just feel a little bit threatened 🤨

would probably say shit like "tell your mom her cookies are delicious"

if you call him out on it he'll start getting whiny and defensive 💀

although he'll admit defeat eventually and ask you to bake them again

stingy #2 the members must never know.

will hide your tin in his underwear draw or something maniacal like that

although yeonjun will probably be doing laundry or something and find them 😭

and when yeonjun asks him about it he'll come up with the lamest excuse too please

"who put cookies in the sewing kit?" 😟

── HUENINGKAI

does a backflip the second they touch his lips

you know that Talk X Today episode where soobin baked tarts and kai tasted one and started doing roly polys on the couch?

that's him.

bro levels up when he takes a whiff of your baking

unlike the rest of his greedy members he'll encourage them to try your baking and give feedback (although if it's negative feedback he'll rub onions on their pillows (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

will ask to bake them with you next time and to teach him the recipe so he can bake them for you some time as well

he'll get flour up his nose and sneeze white for the next few weeks but he has good intentions !!

will brag about it to his family and friends

"you're just mad y/n doesn't bake YOU cookies leah 🤨"

© ox1-lovesick — all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, or repost my work without my explicit permission.

[redwinterroses]

I keep seeing posts and comments about how "it's so hard to leave comments on a fic" because either readers don't know what to say, or it's just too much emotional/mental work to come up with something.

So! Here's a quick cheat sheet. Feel free to copy+paste these to make commenting and supporting/encouraging fic authors easy and painless! (also, consider: you can leave as a comment any of the keysmashing you'd do in tumblr tags. Go nuts.)

Most of these can also be used on videos, art, and anywhere else you might leave feedback on a creative project.

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<3

Love it!

thanks for the chapter

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great chapter!

OH MY GOSH

oooooooh...

O.O

:D

Tier 2: Simple

I loved this chapter! Thanks for the update

I am up past my bedtime reading this.

I'm reading this at work/on the train/in class/at a party and I'm loving it

So good! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Was so excited to get the notification for this!

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Biting this. Eating it. Devouring, even.

Awwww! Them.

Tier 3: Requires Input

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[literally just copy+pasting a line you like and adding !!!!!!!!! to it]

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Tier 4: Prompts

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Ask a question like, "Is Hardened Detective Man's mother still alive in this AU?" or "Does Brave Space Princess know about the [macguffin mentioned in chapter 2]?" or "Who's your favorite character to write in this fic?"

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Commenting is the best way you can encourage a fic writer and inspire new content. And comments aren't book reviews (or at least, they don't have to be. We do love those though lol) -- they don't have to be long and complex. Keysmashes and emojis and one-sentence reactions are MORE than awesome!

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[poisonous-honey]

The Venti Parable

(This is a re-upload: originally posted on UniverseUchu on Feb 25, 2023)

Characters: Venti and The Narrator. The Reader and Stanley have very little presence

Warnings: None really. They enter the zending room if that upsets you, but they barely stay there for long. This is mostly in drabble form and lightly skimmed for errors

This is both the Narrator’s and Venti’s worst nightmare. An omnipotent, self-destructive perfectionist who strives to keep everything self-contained and the ever funky little god of freedom.

Venti is not impressed with this game of choice in the slightest. He had hoped his position in your heart would’ve saved him from the torture some of the others have been put through, but he was unfortunately not given this blessing. He didn’t feel like following this narrator’s every whim, he only wanted to do that with you. He was free to do as he pleases

As you’re talking to the Narrator to convince him, having someone else to narrate for just a few runs would help him with his story (“He can speak! You can get instant feedback!”) Venti sits in the office next to Stanley. 

“Alright, fine. I’ll let Venti play the game in Stanley’s place for a short while, only because you keep incessantly asking.”

“Hey! I am great company. Wouldn’t it at least be nice to have someone else to talk to for a little while?”

“This is the story of a man named Venti”

He sighs and gets up from his position next to Stanley before walking through the office

After what he feels was him being ignored, Venti reaches a fork in the road

“When Venti came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left.”

He holds his chin with his hand and closes his eyes, acting as if he was deeply thinking about his next course of action. Of course, he already knew what he'd do as soon as the directions were spewed at him.

“No, I think I'd rather go right.”

Que sighing from above. Quelle Surprise

~~~

After getting told no one would ever love him and having the parable restart, though disoriented, his next objective is to try and see if he could leave the building

He was not a fan of the Narrator and vice versa

His first attempt is to see if he can jump out of any windows

Honestly surprised he managed to fall through one on his first try (or at all, really)

He had a bit of hope that he had escaped the Narrator, but after accidentally breaking the phone and still getting an ending, he highly doubted it.

And he sighed as he was unfortunately proven right, and the Narrator starts to monologue

“What do you think, are you sick of this gag yet?”

Venti didn’t think there was a correct answer, so he just hit yes while smiling cheekily up into the air. At this point he was just trying to be entertaining for his player, but so was the Narrator

“Now would be the time I go on about having ample amounts of opportunities to restart the game, but unfortunately for you, our player is in control of that. Since all I hear is laughter on their end, I'm going to try to make this as miserable as possible, before they reset to help you out.”

As the Narrator started to sing, Venti quickly looked towards the screen in hopes he could get you to reset immediately, but all you did was shrug

How very cruel of you

~~~

After a few more runs, the last of which had Venti falling flat on his face, he decided to see where listening to the narrator got him

The Narrator kept to the script as usual, he was a professional after all, but the light elation in his voice was obvious to the two of you

Venti couldn’t help but mess with him on the way though

The Narrator could feel his temper rising, watching Venti doing literally nothing. Letting out a sigh, he directs his next questions to you. “Did you put him up to this? Be honest with me here, I have— I am extremely skeptical of this entire ordeal.” You laugh as you hear The Narrator’s anger and Venti asking if he wasn’t allowed to simply relax, further upsetting The Narrator. “I’ve done no such thing. Informing either party beforehand would’ve made this far less entertaining.” “So you’re telling me that everyone, but me, is able to see what’s so fascinating about a broom closet? If that’s where you’re getting at, then it’s absolutely wonderful to have confirmation that I am, truly, the smartest person here.” “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mr. Narrator Sir.” “... I refuse to acknowledge this behaviour.”

Finally making it to the end and turning off the mind control machine, every light turns off as The Narrator starts his freedom ending speech

The door slowly opens and Venti can just about feel the wind call to him

Daylight peaks through the opening and grows larger every second as it descends. He can barely wait for the door to fully open and finally be able to see the skies.

As the door comes to a stop on the floor and Venti takes in the view, he finally feels a sense of ease wash over him since he was brought here. The scenery was truly beautiful.

Venti takes his first steps forward onto the grass and as he continues to drown out The Narrator’s dialogue, he figures that maybe this was the reason you brought him here out of all games.

“...- And Venti was happy.”

The Narrator finishes speaking. Venti opens his mouth to actually throw him a genuine compliment - when-

It all fades to black

And within the blink of an eye, he wakes up in the office next to Stanley, who can do nothing but look at him with a reassuring gaze and wave.

Venti just about curls into a ball and cries while Stanley panics and silently frets over him

“That’s the ending you wanted to guide me to...”

“It’s called the ‘Freedom Ending!’ The one true ending for my story that Stanley refuses to cooperate with me on. Surely someone such as yourself understands and is able to appreciate what I’m trying to-”

“On every level of irony, you’ve managed to single-handedly rip away my own freedom with this horrific outcome.”

~~~

Walking through the red door after bamboozling The Narrator long enough, Venti reaches the platform and is quickly stunned at how pretty the light show is

“Right here, see! All I want is to show Stanley, our dear player, and now you, something remarkable. Now tell me. Can you really look at this space and say it’s not truly beautiful?”

Venti giggled before spinning and sitting down. “Why, this room is a poet's dream! The only thing I’d add is nature.”

He sat in the room for a bit longer, just staring at the stars and light show. This is the closest Venti’s gotten to a true place of rest in a while, so he’d like to treasure it a bit more before leaving.

Eventually tearing his eyes away from the sparkles, Venti looks around and realizes the only rooms here are the space room he’s currently in,  and a room with some stairs. Getting up and going over, the narrator panics.

“Hey Venti, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I’m just looking around. I haven’t seen an exit, so I want to know where the stairs lead.”

“But we haven’t even been here that long a-and there’s nothing over there but stairs, they don’t go anywhere.”

“... It seems I’m in a predicament. Oh, my dear player, where is the exit?”

“Don’t tell him! He’s done nothing but ruin my story time and time again, the least both of you could do is allow me this solace for a little while longer.”

“But I followed your every instruction just before this run!”

All you do is sigh. Maybe you should’ve told Venti not to come here. “... I’m going to begin the game again.”

“But my peace and tranquility!” “But don’t you want to see the proper ending?”

“No, I really don’t and trust me, you won’t want to take the intended ending either.”

~~~

“Player I have to admit, the only difference working with Venti is the constant sass I’ve been receiving in turn. This hasn’t been beneficial in the slightest.”

“Hey! I still gave you plenty of good input you can use!”

“I highly disagree.”

“I beg to differ!”

You had hoped meeting Venti would help The Narrator with some of his issues, but without informing Venti in advance, all they did was annoy each other. Oh well, it was still fun to witness.

“I hope we never meet again.”

“And I hope you learn to enjoy life's intricacies instead of obsessing over the same story over and over… Aaaand that I never have to go through this ever again.”

Venti trusts you with his entire being, he really does, but if you offer him a chance to participate in another game he's going to be asking a lot of questions beforehand

[measuredingold]

safety net: part one

authors note: a fun little thing i wrote up (yes, another discord idea) and am finally posting! this will be in two parts because it got to be pretty long, and the next part will be posted tomorrow night. i hope you all enjoy and feedback is appreciated! (p.s. please be kind :) don't like it, don't read it!)

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x reader (previous noah sebastian x reader)

cross-posted on ao3

part two

word count: 5.6k

cw/tags: fake dating/pretend relationship, past relationship (with noah), angstish, all around fluff, kissing lol, 18+ minors do not interact

The buzz of your phone broke you out of your trance, eyes darting from the computer down to your cell phone. You were so caught up in your work that you barely even paid attention to it, but these days you weren't getting many messages from anyone besides your friends.

everything alright? 

You freeze, eyes scanning over your screen. You looked up from your desk and around the room, seeing your coworkers in their own world, before reaching for your phone. You stared at the text from Nicholas.

Why was he texting you? You're sure Noah's already told him what happened. There wasn't a reason for him to be texting you, anyways. Sure, you had gotten along whenever you'd come over to see Noah, and maybe you'd consider him a friend at one point, seeing as he has your number, but he was Noah's friend first. Best friend. Shouldn't it be a part of Bro Code or something to not reach out to your best friends ex?

You frown as another text comes through.

haven't heard from you in awhile.

has he not told you we broke up lol?

Just the thought of Noah made your stomach turn and you sat your phone back down on your desk, a sigh leaving you. It's been about two months since you and Noah had broken up. It was a 6 month situationship at best, according to Noah, but you had figured it was moving towards something more serious. Especially when you both stopped seeing other people. Guess you thought wrong.

You peer over at your phone as it buzzes again.

no, he told me. just wanted to check in because we haven't spoken lol 

i thought we were friends 😭

...that was a joke, by the way. you're not obligated to tell me anything ofc but i did think we were friends. lol

Your brows raise at that and you quickly reach for your phone again, thumbs moving across the screen.

you still consider us friends?

The typing bubble pops up immediately.

of course? 

even after your best friend broke up with me?

...are we supposed to stop being friends just because of noah?

idk

isn't it like bro code or something?

LMFAO i don't think so? 

i mean. you guys weren't that serious, right? i think this is different.

Ouch, you think, brows furrowing.

i thought we were getting serious but. lol. guess not.

really? 

yeah. i wasn't seeing anyone else, and neither was he. i thought it was *exclusive* or whatever.

noah obviously didn't think so lmfao

it was just fucking frustrating because i really liked him. and thought it could be something, you know?

You press send without thinking, heart thudding against your chest once you realize it went through. Complaining to Nicholas about his own best friend is probably not the best thing to do, you realize, and you text him again.

sorry. You‘re literally his friend, i should not be complaining to you lol.

don’t apologize. i don’t mind you talking about it.

tbh i figured he did something along those lines. it’s not at all surprising.

You stare at your phone, brows furrowing at Nicholas' text. What did he mean by that? And… Was he agreeing with you? That was odd, and something inside of you turned, but before you could type out what you wanted to say your boss' voice filled the room.

"Don't forget our meeting in 10, guys!"

Your eyes snap up from your desk to your boss' office and your shoulders slouched. The meeting hadn't been on your mind at all, and you knew you had to cut this conversation with Nicholas short in order to prepare for it. You sigh, thumbs moving across your screen.

i'm at work and have a meeting soon, but do you care to talk later? i haven't really talked to anyone about this and... it's kind of nice letting it out not gonna lie lol

His reply comes a few minutes later.

if you want, i can call you around 6 tonight if that's alright? i have some things to finish today but i should be free by then.

Call? For some reason that makes you nervous, your fingers twitching and stomach turning. You hadn't spoken to Nicholas in a few months, and the thought of hearing his voice has your skin buzzing. Weird. You don't have time to reply, instead reacting to his message with a thumbs up and gathering your things for the meeting.

...

A shower, a set of comfy clothes, your favorite blanket, and a bowl of ramen later, you had almost forgotten about your expected phone call with Nicholas by the time you rested on the couch after work. Too engrossed in your shows, you nearly jump out of your seat when you hear your phone rang from beside you. Your quickened heartbeat relaxes for a split second when you see it's just Nicholas, but speeds up again when you realize he actually called you.

You stare at your phone as you let it ring once, twice, and then a third time before finally pressing answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Nicholas' soft voice fills your ears. "Sorry it took me a while to get back to you, I got distracted."

"It's fine," You say from around your thumb, it somehow finding its way to your mouth as you nervously chew on it. "I kind of didn't really expect you to call."

"Seriously?" He sounds shocked, like it doesn't make sense why you would think that. "I told you I would."

"I know, just..." You shrug, then blush when you remember he can't see you. "This is weird, right? You calling your best friend's ex to listen to them complain about said best friend."

He's silent on the other end before saying, "Listen. We're still friends, correct? Friends check in on each other. Plus... I'm kind of on your side. What he did was fucked up. I told him that."

"You told him?"

"Mhm." Nicholas hums, and you hear the sound of a door shutting in the background. You hear some shuffling and the sound of him groaning quietly, and you suspect he's in his bedroom, lying down. "I called him an idiot for you, don't worry."

You laugh, surprised, pulling your blanket further up your body.

"You didn't have to do that."

"No, I did." He's laughing now. "He needed to be told that what he did was wrong.”

"He probably didn't like that."

Nicholas sighs on the other end. "He sure fucking didn't."

"Is he mad at you?" You say after a few beats of silence, your lips slowly tugging down into a frown.

"For what?"

"For talking to me?" You grumble, pulling a string of fabric out of your blanket. "And for agreeing that what he did was fucked up?"

"Uh..." Nicholas clears his throat. "He doesn't really know that I reached out to you. Yet. This was weeks ago when I called him out on his shit." He pauses. "But yeah, he was pissed that I told him it was fucked up."

You go silent, not sure how to respond. You feel odd, like there's a weight on your chest, almost like... sadness. You knew how hard-headed Noah could be and how it was hard for him to get over his pride, so having one of his best friend's call him out on how he treated you was sure to piss him off. Though, a part of you was hoping maybe he'd tell Nicholas he regretted it all, regretted the way he treated you, but there was none of that. 

"Still there?"

Too lost in your thoughts you don't realize how long you've gone silent, and your cheeks flush out of embarrassment.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just thinking."

"About?"

"I don't know..." You sigh. "Just how stupid I feel being upset over a guy who's angrier that someone called him out than what he actually did to me. It's embarrassing."

"No, it's not-"

You cut him off. "Yes, it is. It's really fucking embarrassing. I thought we were serious, fucking exclusive, only to find out he looked at our entire relationship the complete opposite." You have to catch your breath, shoulders deflating. "He called me a situationship, Nicholas. Like it was just some fucking fling to keep him occupied because he was bored."

Nicholas doesn't say anything, and to be honest, you don't blame him. If you were on the other end you're not sure what you would say either. It just angered you, this whole thing. You thought you had found someone, maybe not exactly the one, but maybe someone you wouldn't mind getting serious with.

"I just," You continue on, filter long gone. "Sometimes I wanna get back at him, you know? Hurt him like he hurt me."

Nicholas is quiet on the other end and bringing your hand up to chew on your thumb again, nerves growing even more. Maybe you had said too much, complained too much, and he's probably annoyed. He probably regrets telling you that you could complain and that he didn't mind.

"Listen..." Nicholas starts and you're fully expecting him to be upset with you. "This might sound crazy, and tell me if it is, but I think I know how you can get back at him."

You freeze.

"What?" 

"Noah's my best friend, and I love him, but we grew up together. I know how he is." You hear him sigh on the other end. "It was shitty to lead you on and to make you think it was more than it actually was. I'm not going to sugar coat it."

"Well, we already know that but what's so crazy about it?"

"You didn't let me finish." He huffs out a laugh, and something inside your belly flutters. "The more I think about it the crazier it sounds but... it might not make him hurt like you are, but it'll definitely make him mad."

This interests you, and you find yourself sitting up on the couch. "Oh? Go on."

"Um..." He clears his throat. "Noah gets incredibly jealous and I know he wouldn't know what to do if he saw you with someone else."

"But I'm not." You say with a pout. He laughs again.

"Right." He pauses. "But what if he thought you were?"

"Okay..." You say slowly. It does sound like a good idea, but how would you pull it off? You had nobody to fill in for you. "How would I go about that? There's not exactly anyone jumping at the chance to fake date me."

"That's where the crazy part comes in," He sounds nervous and you can't help but find it almost adorable, the way his voice gets softer as his nerves settle in. "He'd lose his fucking mind if the person you were seeing was someone he knew. A friend of his." Another pause. "...Maybe even a best friend."

Realization dawns on you and you can't help the way your lips part, a gasp slipping from your lips. "Nicholas Ryan."

"Hear me out!” You close your mouth. "Just imagine how pissed he'd get. He wouldn't know what to do. It'd eat at him forever."

You let his words finally sink in, the proposition closeting around your mind. It was crazy, absolutely fucking insane but… it didn’t sound so bad. It actually sounded kind of genius. What bet way could you get back at him if not… fake-date his best friend? You knew Noah and you knew just how bad he’d handle this, and the thought made your body shake in excitement.

“Alright.” You say finally, lips stretching into a smile. “Exactly how would we do this?”

“Well…” Nicholas pauses on the other end, letting out a nervous chuckle. “We’d just try to make him believe we were actually together.”

“Like… hang out at the house and act like we’re going on dates?”

“If you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You go silent for a moment. “And you think it’ll work?”

“I know it’ll work.” Nicholas says matter-of-factly.

You lean back against the couch and think over your option for a moment. You really had nothing to lose, either Noah will get upset or you’ll get no reaction at all.

“Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

You could practically hear the smile in Nicholas’ voice when he replied with a “Hell yeah,” and your belly fluttered, flipping and turning at the thought of you doing this. It was childish, sure, but you didn’t care. You wanted to get Noah riled up and you knew this was the only way to do it.

You and Nicholas talked over some details before you settled on coming over later that week and then you’d go from there. Later that night when you settled into bed, you felt lighter than you had in weeks, sleep finding you easily.

...

You took a deep breath as you put your car in park and leaned your forehead against your steering wheel. You had been nervous the entire drive over and even drove in complete silence, trying to gather your thoughts. They were too jumbled, you could barely even think straight. Was this a good idea? You turn your head to stare at the house, one you had grown used to months ago, and you feel the pit in your stomach growing. 

This was a terrible idea, you think. You should just put your car in reverse and get the hell out of here, because you're sure your plan wouldn't work. How would it? There's no way Noah would believe you and Nicholas were a thing, you were a terrible actor. Could you really convince Noah that you were actually with Nicholas?

Your phone buzzes in the seat beside you and you huff out a sigh, reaching for it.

let me know when you're here. he's just watching a movie with bryan and jolly right now.

is it too late to back out? idk if i can do this.

You press send before even thinking, pressing your forehead back against the steering wheel. Another text comes through.

it's your choice. i'm cool with whatever, as long as you're comfortable.

i got your back.

For some reason that has your chest blooming in heat. Your eyes flutter shut as you think over your choices, Nicholas' words looming in your mind, and you let out a sigh. I got your back.

meet me at the door? i'm coming up now.

All you get in a response is Nicholas reacting to your message with a heart, but that's enough to calm your nerves and even bring a small smile to your face. You pull the mirror down one last second to give yourself a once over, fixing your hair, and then you're opening the door. You take your time walking up to their house, eyes scanning over your surroundings to see if anything has changed. Nothing has, and it brings some sort of comfort to you.

Before you can even raise a hand to knock at the door, the handle is twisting and you're met with soft eyes and a smile.

"Hey."

You stand there, dumbfounded for a moment, as your eyes scan over Nicholas' face. You can hear someone speaking in the background, along with a movie playing, and you have to swallow down the nerves that are threatening to come back. 

"Hi." You say quietly and give Nicholas a shy smile. He looks behind him before stepping out, closing the door.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" He asks, face clouded with concern. His lips purse into a pout as he looks down at you. "I don't want you doing this if you're having second thoughts."

You shake your head. "I'm okay. I would've left already if I was that scared."

His frown only deepens. 

"I don't want you feeling like you have to do this. It's a crazy idea. I can understand why you'd be afraid."

His concern for you only makes the heat in your chest expand, feeling it all the way down to the tips of your fingers. He was so worried about how you felt about all of this, wanting to make sure you were comfortable... it was all new to you. It's not like Noah never cared about how you felt, but this was a different feeling. Nicholas was different. You swallow again, reaching out to place a hand on Nicholas' arm.

"This is a crazy idea, but it's one I agreed to." You see him look down at your hand on his arm before looking at you again, and you give him another smile. "I want to do this. Plus, you got my back. Remember?"

This makes him smile, albeit small, and he nods. "Hell yeah I do." 

You stare at him for a beat, smile never wavering before clapping your hands together. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

He opens the door and lets you in first, and you hear Noah before you see him. His voice has you pausing in the hallway, lips dipping into a frown, and you barely notice Nicholas behind you. You jump slightly at the feel of Nicholas' hand against your back as he guides the two of you to the living room. Your stomach turns reveling in the fact Noah has to see you, with Nicholas, because this was the only way to his room.

"Just follow my lead." Nicholas murmurs against your ear and you try to ignore the way your body shivers, heat exploding throughout you. 

You nod.

The second you enter the living room all eyes are on you, and you don't miss the way all the boys do a double take. Both Jolly and Bryan stare at you in enjoyment, lips curled, and you can't help but smile back, sending them a wave. Noah’s face is blank, but you don’t miss the way his eyes narrow at the sight of you and Nicholas together.

"Well, well, well." Bryan's grin only grows and his eyes dart between you, Nicholas, and Noah. "Long time no see."

"Where the hell have you been?" Jolly asks and Bryan chuckles beside him.

They know exactly where you've been, but the fact they still asked with Noah in the room has your smile widening. Especially with how his face is now turned into a scowl.

"Oh, you know." You shrug. "Around."

“With Ruffilo?” Jolly questions, his brows raising. You give another shrug, your cheeks heating up.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Nicholas teases, the hand that was on your back now sliding down to rest on your hip. Noah’s eyes follow the movement. You notice, and so does Nicholas, and his hand drops from your hip to circle around your own.  “We’re gonna be upstairs if you need me.”

Jolly whistles. “With everyone home? That’s brave, Nick.”

You can’t help but blush, head dipping down to hide it and Nicholas laughs out, “Fuck you.”

“Dude, shut up.” Noah snaps at Jolly. You look up at that, brows furrowing to find Noah already staring at you. “Since when are you guys friends?”

You frown as the anger begins to build inside of you, his tone immediately setting something off. It was so… accusatory. As if you had done something wrong – which you hadn’t.

“Dude-“ Nicholas starts, but you cut him off.

“We’ve always been friends.” You bite out. “Maybe if you’d paid attention before, you would’ve known that already.”

The room goes silent after that and you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You look up at Nicholas.

“Can we go now?” You ask quietly, but just loud enough for everyone to hear. He gives you a small smile and nods, facing his friends again.

“Text me if you need me,” He says while starting to tug you towards the stairs, “but don’t need me.”

Jolly and Bryan laugh but Noah remains silent, lips pressed together as he fumes in his seat. Nicholas' hand in yours feels heavy, especially now with the way you m know Noah's staring at your intertwined fingers. Nicholas gives you a supportive squeeze and gently pulls you with him, making his way up the stairs.

"When did this happen?" Noah follows after the two of you and you press your lips together, eyes rolling. 

"Like it matters?" You mumble, turning to look back at him. "We weren't serious. I can see whoever I want to."

"So, you chose my best friend?"

"I didn't choose anyone, Noah." You groan and stop at the top of the stairs, Nicholas still tugging at your hand. You don’t miss the way Noah is glaring at his best friend behind you. "Not everything is about you."

This has him stopping on the bottom step, looking at you as if you’ve just wounded him before turning into anger at the sound of Jolly and Bryan erupting into ooooh’s. You know a few months ago you would’ve doubled down and apologized, but right now all you want to do is laugh. It felt good making him feel bad, as crazy as it sounded, and the second you reach Nicholas’ room you feel as if you’ve finally made it to the end of the race.

The hard part is over.

You finally let out the breath you had been holding when Nicholas shut the door. He leans forward, pressing his ear to the door for a moment before taking a step back and looking over at you, his lips tugging up into a smirk.

"He's still out there." He whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. "He looked so fucking pissed, dude."

You have to press your hand against your mouth, trying to muffle the giggles that threaten to spill. You feel like a kid, pulling a stupid prank on your friend on the playground, but you can't help how exciting it feels. You wonder just how pissed Noah is, thinking that his ex or whatever you were to him moved on... to his best friend. 

"Did you see the look on his face when you grabbed my hand?" You press your lips together and let your eyes shut, taking a deep breath to stop your laughter. "Holy shit. That was priceless."

“I’m definitely gonna get chewed out for this but it’s so worth it.”

Nicholas makes his way over to his bed and flops down onto it, laughing to himself and he doesn't bother holding it back. You follow his lead, sitting down beside him as you finally let your own giggle release, falling onto your back. The two of you lay there, giggling like children, and you hadn't even realized all the tension that was once in your body has fully vanished. 

Call yourself hateful, but it felt good to see the look on Noah's face. To see him so upset. You're not sure if he was exactly hurt in the same way that you were, but you knew he was pissed. That's enough for you. It also felt good to just laugh, something you haven't done in a while, and you turn your head to look at Nicholas. He's still laughing, face scrunched in amusement and that same warm feeling in your chest comes back. 

"Thank you." You hum quietly, and Nicholas' laughter dies out. He turns his head to look at you and he smiles, bright and big.

"Of course." He mumbles. "I got your back. Remember?"

He echoes your words back to you and this makes you smile, hand reaching out for his own that laid on the bed. You find that it feels easy to intertwine your fingers with his and you give his hand a squeeze. He returns it back.

"What do we do now?" You question after a moment, hand slipping from his. You swear you see his face fall for a split second.

He sits up then, running a hand through his hair. "Well. We let him believe whatever he wants about what we're doing in here and..." He gives you a shrug, grinning down at you. "We hang out, I guess. Watch a movie or something."

You nod at his words, resting your hands against your stomach,

“Sounds good to me.”

And so, you do. He puts on a show he'd been watching recently, an anime that you didn't know the name of, and the two of you laid side by side as the episode played. You had watched a few anime’s with Noah when you two were together, but you never really found yourself getting into them. You're not sure what's different this time around, but you find yourself asking Nicholas questions every so often. You ask about the plot which he happily obliged, going into great detail about them.

It was nice, you think. You quickly realized you liked hearing him talk. His voice was soft, but low. It had a very calming tone to it, one that always put you at ease. You think you could sit and listen to Nicholas talk for hours and never get bored.

One episode turned into two, and two episodes turn into four, and before you know it, it’s already dark outside.

“Shit. What time is it?” Nicholas says beside you, reaching for his phone. You turned to look at him, eyes widening when you realized just how close the two of you had gotten in the few hours you’d spent here.

A part of you felt the need to be even closer. You shake it off, sitting up on his bed and stretching out your limbs as Nicholas spoke again.

“Dude, it’s literally nine o’clock.”

“It didn’t even feel that long.” You watch as he rolls off his bed, stretching, before looking down at you. “Sorry I kept you here so long. Once I get started on a show I can’t stop.”

“It’s okay. I actually really liked it.” You say earnestly, standing up from the bed. He smiles.

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

“We’ll have to finish the next episode the next time you come over then, if you want.”

For some reason the words next time has your body heating up, skin buzzing with something you can’t exactly place. You smile up at him.

“I’m down.”

He waits for as you grab your things and the two of you make your way back downstairs. It’s much quieter than it had been earlier, but Noah and Jolly were still on the couch, but they had switched places at some point. You don’t bother glancing at Noah, though you feel his glare, and send a wave to Jolly.

“Leaving already?” Jolly says, a playful pout slipping onto his lips.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back.” You hear Noah snort, and you take a chance to glance at him, seeing the boy roll his eyes. You have to stop yourself from smirking.

You got him.

“You better.” Jolly’s eyes move to Nicholas. “Next time don’t hog her, man. Let her come out and say hi or something.”

“I make no promises.” Nicholas teases, placing his hand against the small of your back. Your skin prickles in goosebumps at the feeling and you find yourself leaning into his touch.

Jolly laughs but sends you both off with a wave, Noah’s eyes following you until you’re out of sight and by the door.

You let out the breath you had been holding.

“Doing alright?” Nicholas mumbles. You nod and try to give him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You speak. “Thank you for doing this again, you really didn’t have to.”

"Hey, what are friends for? Also, it was literally my idea.” Nicholas murmurs, smiling down at you. “… Text me when you get home?”

You've already forgotten about Noah in the living room, most likely trying to eavesdrop on your conversation, too busy finding yourself getting lost in Nicholas' eyes. You nod. 

"Of course."

His smile widens, which you didn't think was possible, and he leans forward to brush his lips against your forehead. You freeze, eyes widening at the action. You had talked about making it believable on the phone, but you didn't expect him to go this far. You also didn't expect to like the feeling of his lips against your skin as much as you did.

You both whisper your goodbyes, and you find yourself back in your car, hands gripping the steering wheel. 

That went a lot easier than you thought.

...

This goes on for a few weeks.

You come over a few times a week to hang out, sometimes in Nicholas' room and sometimes in the living room when Jolly begs you two to join him and Noah for a movie. The first time was awkward, and you knew Jolly only did it to be an ass, but after a while it stopped being so awkward and started to become... normal. 

Noah didn’t speak to you, and according to Nicholas he didn’t speak to him either for a good two weeks. He’d only ever glare at the two of you during your movie nights or when you both made your way upstairs, and at first you loved it. You loved that you got under his skin so much that every time you were around, he was seething. It made you feel good, as crazy as it sounds.

Eventually, though, you stopped caring.

You don’t know when it happened, or when you stopped coming over to piss off Noah, but it happened. You and Nicholas started hanging out more, even outside of the house, and you found yourself enjoying his company more than you ever thought you would.  You were starting to anticipate his texts, and even his calls, your belly erupting in butterflies every time you saw his name flash across your screen.

Some crazy part of you thinks that maybe Nicholas had stopped caring too.

Even in the quiet of his room where no one else was around, he was always touching you. Arm wrapped around you as you curled into his side, fingers twisting and twirling in your hair as you two finished another episode of his – and yours – current favorite anime. Sometimes he’d be the one curled up against you, his head resting against your stomach as you laid out on his bed, listening to him talk about why Episode 3 was the best out of the prequels.

It didn’t shock you too much when you finally sat down with your thoughts about everything – Nicholas, Noah, yourself – and with the help of your friends, you came to the conclusion that you weren’t pretending anymore. You had feelings for Nicholas, and the thought was equally terrifying and exciting in every way.

You find yourself back at the front door after spending a few hours there and Nicholas is already leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, like he always does when you leave. Your eyes flutter shut and you lean into the feeling, letting yourself enjoy it for once, and you lift your head up. He pulls back, briefly, and your eyes open to stare into his. 

You can feel Noah's eyes on you both, the first time he has in weeks, but for some reason you can’t find it in yourself to care all that much. Nicholas gives you a gentle smile and you can't help but let your eyes drop to his lips, before gazing back up. He catches it, brows furrowing and head tilting, and you lean up again.

"You should kiss me." You whisper, eyes darting back to his lips.

He swallows. "What?"

"Noah's watching." You whisper again. "We gotta make it believable, right?"

You watch as he blinks from your eyes down to your lips. He does it a few times, staring at you in silence, and you know that he knows. Noah doesn’t care anymore, even though he’s watching. Nicholas knows you’ve already made it as believable as you could, but he still goes along with it. Your breath catches in your throat when you feel him reach up and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning down, forehead pressing against yours.

"...Yeah. You're right. We do." He breathes out and you physically shake at the feeling of his breath ghosting your lips. 

You don't move at first, and neither does he, and you let your eyes flutter shut as your fingers come to circle around the flannel that hung off of him. Your fingers curl around the material the second he leans forward, capturing your lips with his. Both hands come up now to cup your face, Nicholas' thumbs brushing over your cheeks, and you'd have half a mind to be embarrassed by the sound that escapes you, but you're too caught up in him. 

Nicholas is the first to pull away, but you don't move, you don't even open your eyes. You can hear your heart thudding against your chest, and you have to take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. His hands still cup your cheeks, and he tilts your head forward slightly, pressing yet another tender kiss to your forehead.

"Text me when you get home." 

You don't miss the waver in his voice, and you finally open your eyes to look up at him. You see something in his eyes shift, something much softer than you've ever seen, and it makes your heart flutter. You give him a small nod and try not to frown when his hands fall from your face. You drop your hands from his flannel, and he gives you a smile, but there's something behind it.

You think about it (and his lips) the entire drive home.

[liashinigami]

Was gonna gather my thoughts and write a post tmr on the general mood in the ofts space after the finale bc I feel like a whole bunch of people overthink the amount of editing that was supposedly the result of "promo couple fans complaining too much" but I literally cannot sleep before I get this off my chest so here goes nothing:

Do you guys not understand how tv show productions work....

The script was written, reworked, and then finalized before they even began filming. Yes they might have changed some stuff between the initial scrips draft they had before the mock trailer and the true beginning of production this year but considering that they booked two at the time new but well received promo couples (remember that this show was already in planning at a time when Enchené and The Eclipse were still very very fresh), TopMew and SandRay were always gonna be endgame. It's especially obvious now that the full series is out bc if you go back and watch the mock trailer, all the same storybeats are there. This is how the story was supposed to go from the beginning. They most likely cast two promo couples on purpose because of the added bonus of pre-established compatibility and chemistry needed for endgame couples in such a messy series.

Then they filmed stuff. They finished filming I believe the day that episode 3 aired, so they could not have changed any of the ending based on audience reactions (as I have seen multiple people suggest), since we were barely a few epiaodes into the story. The book based on the series was also already finished and in the last stages of preparing to be released. The only thing they actually did was edit out parts of scenes or full scenes that they found did not add anything at this point in the story (like the sandray garage scene) or would actively harm what we, the audience, are supposed to be understanding and feeling right now (like the Mew smashing shit scene and Top attempting to sleep with someone else, which both were explained to have been cut because audiences were reacting strongly negative to Top even a few episodes into his redemption arc, when we were clearly supposed to start being on his side). They might also have moved some scenes around to aid the story flow but I am unsure of that one (I suspect the scene where Ray and Mew finally solve their shit out was supposed to be directly before the SandRay donut scene bc of obvious clothing reasons, bc they either fucked up hardcore with clothing continuity or moved the first SandRay rehab discussion to after the RayMew talk because it made more sense that way when seeing it played out on screen. If that was the case I am glad for it bc it would have felt a bit weird the other way around idk...).

All of this is however not new. It happens all the time in film and broadcasting production (also in book publishing....this is why editors and alpha/beta readers exist. I mean Brandon Sanderson's books famously go through four (?) stages of feedback before they get published...). Some scenes just get dropped in editing because when you see it on screen it feels redundant or not quite right, so it gets taken out before it changes what they want the audience to take away from other scenes. Movies and tv shows that have months between filming and airing dates usually solve this issue with test screening audiences and several runs of editing. There have been instances of Movies having test screenings at cinemas and then having their release date scrapped because they have to be re-edited completely as a result of unexpected audience feedback. GmmTV series being on smaller budgets and timeframes results in this time window falling away and relying on observing audience reactions to already aired episodes closely and then editing the next episode close to its release is one strategy to still ensure that you bring across what you wanted to (Kdramas also do this very frequently). It might not be ideal but it's not unusual and it certainly does not mean that anything substantial from the story was changed. All the storybeats as well as the character and relationship development remained the same because they already had everything filmed. They did not do reshoots or we'd know it. The story was planned this way. It was in the script. If you did not like it, then you did not like it. But don't accuse the directors of "bending to the will of fans" bc that's just plain wrong.

I too have my issues with some of the writing and some of the characterizations. But let's keep the criticism where it is actually deserved ok?

Edit: I have also seen quite a few people over here and also on Twitter say how disappointed they are in the "editing based on audience reaction" and that they should release a "directors cut" with all the scenes but like....this IS the directors cut. THEY decided how to edit this because the original intent is not always what arrives in the brains of the audience. Storytelling is a two-way street and if a massive chunk of your audience interprets a part of your story so differently to how you intended it to be understood, edits are necessary. Because that means that your intent is not communicated well enough.

[waitmyturtles]

TW: probably unpopular opinions on Step By Step’s filmmaking!

I’ve had an insane work week so far, so I don’t have the largest amount of time to write an analysis of Step By Step, episode 8, and I’m already late in watching it anyway. But I will largely point everyone in the direction of @lurkingshan’s EXCELLENT analysis of Jeng’s reaction to Pat’s reaction that Jeng is gay (and to @neuroticbookworm’s post-Shan analysis of their prediction of the road ahead, which I subscribe to). 

I’m also late in watching this because I allowed myself the spoilers yesterday, and was admittedly frustrated to learn that the payoff of this episode is that Pat learns about Jeng’s preferences... in an episode that’s over an hour. It’s a very unpopular opinion I have! The editing and some of the writing of this show suck. I’m gonna repeat myself -- I would prefer crisper writing and dialogue. But I am still in favor of the deep focus on Pat and his mindset. It’s just that in some moments (like in the second restaurant), he’ll disappear and we won’t get feedback on that disappearance until MUCH later. (And forget about Jaab and Jen, I’m leaving that alone for this analysis. The show definitely had the time to examine that more in an hourlong+ episode, but didn’t.)

ANYWAY. Citing @bengiyo‘s and @ginnymoonbeam‘s conversation about Pat’s radar -- I want to build off of @bengiyo‘s comment for a moment, on something I realized when Jeng was with Tae, when Jeng got the text message from Pat that the restaurant crawl was on. Something I realized when Tae was asking Jeng about Pat’s intentions is that:

For Jeng, WORK IS LIFE. We’re spending a lot of time, and the show spends a lot of time, dealing with the boss-to-subordinate conflict. BUT. I would argue that Jeng’s whole world is work. The man is LITERALLY WORKING TWO JOBS, TWO HIGH-LEVEL, EXECUTIVE LEADERSHIP JOBS. Man’s insane. 

I give Pat the gigantic benefit of the doubt that he “could” or “should” have known Jeng’s preferences intentions. (@lurkingshan, @bengiyo, and @ginnymoonbeam all know that before seeing the episode, I did state incredulity that Pat DIDN’T know this, so I recant before you all!)

BECAUSE: what PAT is seeing in front of himself, vis à vis Jeng, is a man that is WORKING ALL THE TIME. So I think Pat’s radar is off, in my opinion, because he can ONLY see Jeng as a boss and a leader, and would not allow himself to cross the boss-subordinate boundaries, even in settings where they are “working” on Jeng’s “other” job, because Jeng is a boss in that other space as well. 

And while Jeng doesn’t see this as “working,” Pat certainly does. 

I mean, I’ve tried to get glasses of wine with some former bosses of mine, just to create intimacy and get to know them out of office spaces, and like, all we talk about is work. Some people can’t relax and separate. I get that.

I think Pat ASSUMED Jeng was like that, because in doing social activities, it seems, from Pat’s perspective, that Jeng is still working -- and for that restaurant crawl, he totally is! And Tae knew to call that out and maybe tease Jeng for being a little delulu, which, accurate. 

So I write this, now not in criticism of Pat’s radar, but in grudging support of it, and I say grudging because I do not think the editing of the show is supporting the slow burn anymore. Unpopular opinion, I know. I think this show is doing Pat dirty. I believe the payoff will be good. But the show is dragging and not giving us enough by way of internal communication on Pat’s part to demonstrate intriguing development that grabs me. 

But we get a confession next week. Let’s see how long it’ll take to get there. 

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

oks , enough abt michael , what r some of ur raphael hcs ?

Alrighty, enough Mikey spam lol. I'm glad you asked!

I have a couple big headcanons with him- this is probably going to turn into another character analysis post, lol. I'm probably going to separate these into their own posts, too. Here I go:

Raphael was as much of a dick as he was to the brothers because he was jealous.

Raphael heavily admires Lucifer- even after the fall, so imagine how much he must have idolized him before. Meanwhile, Lucifer focused all his attention on his six "favorites". Simeon has confirmed this much, that Lucifer always had a soft spot for the brothers(+Lilith) in a way that other angels couldn't rival.

So, here Raphael was. He was trying his best to be the model angel, following and enforcing the rules to a T while bending over backwards to not only meet but exceed his older brothers' demands. For christ's sake, he was the youngest angel to ever become a Seraph- which is clearly one hell of an accomplishment. And yet, Lucifer never seemed to notice. Lucifer and Raphael's relationship remained rocky, all the while Lucifer pampered and adored the more "problematic" angels.

Raphael did everything right- and yet he still watched all of Lucifer's affection and attention go to the troublemakers instead of him. Hell, Lucifer would even side with Mammon to go argue with him. That had to hurt.

I think that's about as good a reason as any to resent the brothers. Especially Mammon, Lucifer's favorite and the one Raphael seems most trigger-happy with.

-----

Now, next one's the really long one. The one that's really several headcanons wrapped in a trenchcoat, much like the condition it addresses. Here we go:

Raphael is autistic.

Now, I could leave it at that and a lot of the other autistic people here would know what I mean. I could even just give you the laundry list of symptoms he displays. But I think this actually means a lot for his character, so I'm going to go in depth with a few points.

Sensory Issues: Hyposensitivity

When it comes to sensory issues, the first thing I have to acknowledge is his sense of taste. Raphael has a hyposensitivity to taste- meaning he perceives taste to a significantly lesser degree to most people. This is clear when he consumes Solomon's food without being disgusted at the taste- as well as several other occurrences of weird taste, like absolutely dousing his sandwich in Hell's hottest hot sauce.

But it isn't just that he doesn't perceive the taste- he actively enjoys it, moreso than other foods. I think this is because, with his dulled sense of taste, "normal" foods taste bland to him. Something to the degree of Solomon's cooking is the only thing powerful enough to give him the kind of sensory feedback most of us get from "normal" food. Which is why he enjoys it.

I don't think it's just taste that he's hyposensitive to, either. He also seems to have a very limited sense of pain. In Season 4, Raphael is seen accidentally catching his hand on fire- and not even noticing until somebody else pointed it out to him, at which point he simply described it as "hot". I'm sorry, having your hand on fire isn't just "hot" like a summer day, it's searing agonizing pain. The fact that he was this nonchalant about it, when we've seen other nonhumans like Mammon respond to pain perfectly normally, says something. I think Raphael's lack of pain perception could also contribute to how violent he is- if he doesn't feel pain the same way we do, he might not fully understand the weight of his harsh punishments. What he'd consider the equivalent of slapping someone's wrist with a ruler could be literally stabbing someone, we don't know.

Sensory Issues: Hypersensitivity

This one is going to be shorter than the others, because I really don't have as much evidence for it nor as much to say about it. But I do suspect Raphael to be hypersensitive to sound. Again in Season 4, when MC was looking for Raphael, the first thing Lucifer told them was to look for the quietest place around. While a lot of people prefer quiet, how on-the-nose Lucifer was with this combined with Raphael's more obvious autistic traits makes me suspect he might be hypersensitive to sound.

Sensory Issues: Visual Processing

Raphael, like many autistic people, seems to be a very visually-oriented person. This was highlighted multiple times in the Devilgram "Raphael's Welcome". The first time it was shown was when Raphael refused to eat food Lucifer recommended due to how it looked. This is the same angel that eats Solomon's cooking with absolutely no issue, and yet gave a hard no to anything Lucifer offered him because it looked a little funny. His priorities are way out of wack. Visuals seem to be a very powerful influence over how Raphael thinks and feels.

The next time Raphael's visual fixation was brought up in the Devilgram was when he entered Majolish. The first thing he did was start looking at all the clothing up close and pointing out details about how they were stitched, the quality of the clothing, etc- to which Lucifer remarked that Raphael has always had an eye for detail. While Raphael is oblivious to or actively avoids other types of sensory input, visuals seem to be very important to him and how he understands the world.

Communication Deficit: Social Cues

You know it's bad when Mammon tells you to read the room.

Honestly, I feel like that should be all I have to say. But you know what, I'll go on.

Raphael has repeatedly shown that he has very little understanding of social cues. He's somehow made it this far without catching onto the fact that everyone is terrified of Solomon's cooking, for example. He also once compared Satan to Lucifer after literally everyone in the room tried to warn him not to.

Raphael doesn't even seem to be aware of his own social cues and the impressions he gives off. When Diavolo announced that he'd be working with Thirteen, Raphael scowled and shook his head- only to seem genuinely surprised when Thirteen noticed this and took offense to his reaction, telling her that he "didn't say anything".

His understanding of social cues is... not very good. To say the least.

Communication Deficit: Emotional Expression

One of the first things we learn about Raphael is that he's incredibly difficult to read. It's not hard to see why other characters feel this way- the majority of the time, he has a completely blank expression. Hell, one time he flat-out said he was having fun and didn't even smile about it.

Smiles in general seem to be excessively rare with him, and it's often made a big deal of when he does.

Despite his lack of expression, he doesn't seem as emotionless as people portray him as. According to Simeon, he's actually "pretty intense". Even in the screenshot above, he's clearly feeling something, he just isn't showing it in the way a typical person would expect. He gives all the hallmarks of someone with very strong emotions but an inability to translate them to others- something very strongly associated with autism.

Communication Deficit: Speech

One of the other things we were told about Raphael before we met him is that he's incredibly quiet- to the point where others, including Luke, have difficulty understanding him as a person. Reading through the lessons, he has "..." dialogue significantly more than any other character. It's rare the game goes out of its way to include silent dialogue, and usually when it does it's in a very serious situation where it's meant to be emotionally impactful. This isn't the case with Raphael. He does this regularly, in casual personal interactions, and even to the point where it causes miscommunications with others.

An example I can think of off the top of my head is when he went to clean up a mess Thirteen created with her spiderweb bazooka. He left in the middle of a conversation to go do so, without giving any verbal acknowledgement of what it was he was doing, leading to Lucifer assuming he was goofing off and scolding him. Normally someone would say something along the lines of "we should clean that up", or "let me go clean that up real quick", or "I'm going to go clean that up", etc. Most people would say something like that without even thinking. But Raphael just gave his usual "...", and that socially inappropriate silence lead to a clear misunderstanding with Lucifer.

"Quiet" to the point of impeding on one's ability to connect with and communicate intent to others isn't normal, and it makes me wonder if he may be partially nonverbal.

Communication Deficit: Tact

Raphael is... not tactful. At all. He's incredibly blunt, and even harsh with pretty much everyone. It's so constant and grating that angel Lucifer stated that he actively avoids Raphael.

Given his other very clear social difficulties, I have to wonder just how much of Raphael's rude language is actual harmful intent and how much of it is just that he's awful with tact. I wonder how much he really meant all the dickish things he's said to the brothers.

It certainly puts his character in a different perspective. As does a lot of this. Which is why I wanted to elaborate this far on all of it instead of just throwing out autism symptoms and giving him an "I'm autistic and I think he is too" seal of approval. His character starts making a lot more sense when you look at it through this lens, and it branches off into several different headcanons I have about him.

And now, of course, the obligatory Michael comment of the day. I'm sorry, you know me by now, I couldn't not.

I think Michael is autistic too, and this ties directly into Raphael. It's said in Raphael's introductory video that he's "the only one who truly understands Michael". If Raphael is autistic, and he and Michael are on the same wavelength so to speak, it would make sense that Michael is too. I think they're on opposite sides of the spectrum- Raphael is the cold/distant/withdrawn, deadpan, hyposensitive, partially-nonverbal autistic while Michael will turn out to be the hyperactive, overexpressive, talks-your-ears-off-about-special-interests, way too in-your-face due to lack of social cues, sensory-seeking autistic. Two sides of the same coin. They'd both play into the double-empathy theory, that autism miscommunications are due to a mismatch in autistic-neurotypical communication methods and that two autistic individuals can generally communicate just fine.

Now, if you want some casual, less analysis-heavy headcanons, just lmk. Got plenty of those too, though some of them take the autism headcanon as a base!

[shuchu]

˚+*:ꔫ:*﹤first dates with luxiem & shoto ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

characters: vox akuma ; mysta rias ; luca kaneshiro ; ike eveland ; shu yamino ; shoto

take note: gn!reader ; this is a follow-up to my confession post ♡ ; assume that all the boys except vox, flew to see the reader — to make writing the headcanons easier; but also because the boys miss them and want to spend time with them in person 

author notes: when writing this, i flip flopped from making it headcanons to one-shots then back to headcanons (≧▽≦) i think i feel more comfortable writing headcanons because how da heck does one write transition scenes (・_・ヾ. anyways, as usual, feel free to leave some feedback and/or send in requests! though the requests will only be done after the 100 followers event has concluded. decorative dividers credit to: @/mykaesu on twt  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

vox

you’d wake up, seeing your demon boyfriend sleeping peacefully in front of you with an arm draped around your waist

you’d admire the soft, gentle, peaceful sight in front of you before reaching out to rub his cheek gently with your thumb

the sly bastard was already awake so he’d open his eyes slowly and give you a lazy, cheeky smile

“good morning my love, admiring your incredibly handsome boyfriend?”

“you’re already so insufferable this early in the morning, my god…”

vox chuckles at that and pulls you closer, “you love me though…”

after lazing in bed for a while more, he’d ask, “so my love, what do you say about a date today hmm? i haven’t had the pleasure of a first date with you yet.” while gliding his hand up and down your back leisurely

you’d agree and slip out of bed to get ready. vox stretches and yawns before doing the same

when he sees you step out of the bedroom, after you’re done preparing — his eyes widen and his jaw drops. you look absolutely stunning; he walks over to you, sliding his hands down your arms to hold both your hands in his, bringing them up to his lips to give them both each a kiss

vox grabs the picnic basket, you both leave the house and start walking to the park nearby for a little picnic

vox would set up the picnic with all the food that he had prepared neatly spread out before getting you to sit down beside him

when you sit down, his arm naturally finds it way to around your shoulders, holding you close to him

vox had prepared a salad, sandwiches and some chocolate covered strawberries

when you quite literally moan in delight from how good the sandwiches taste, vox quirks an eyebrow at you and smirks

you’d swat at him telling him to keep his mind out of the gutter and he’ll just chuckle at that

after the both of you had finished eating, vox would tell you that he has one more place to bring you to before you both head home

he’d help you up from the picnic mat, pack everything neatly into the picnic basket, slot his hand with yours then lead you back to the car

he’d drive to your next destination — that being, the aquarium

watching your eyes widen in awe at all the marine animals gracefully swimming around you, vox’s heart melts. he pulls out his phone and takes a photo of you secretly

when you catch him he’s already slotting his phone back into his pocket, you’d ask him, “vox…did you just take a photo of me?”

“yeah i did, you looked so cute, i just had to.” he said, pressing a kiss to your cheek

you were so amazed at everything you saw, pointing and asking vox to look at things — vox found it absolutely adorable, he just wanted to pinch your cheeks and smother you with kisses but he’s saving that for later (wink wonk)

you both would end off the day with vox’s homecooked dinner, cuddles on the couch in front of the tv, watching a movie

mysta

mysta had told you last night that he was taking you on a date so you woke up bright and early to get ready — and cook some breakfast for the both of you

you were so focused on cooking that you didn’t realise mysta sneaking behind you, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder, still half asleep

you giggle, “good morning baby, did you sleep well?”

“i did, for the first time in a long time because i had you beside me.” mysta baby uweee

“aww i’m glad you did babe. go wash up, breakfast will be done soon okay?”

he grumbles a reply before trudging to the bathroom, making you giggle at how cute he is

you still have no idea where you’re going for your first date with mysta, he insisted on keeping it a secret no matter how much you tickled him to try and get it out of him

you plate the food and place it on the table, just as mysta walks out from the bathroom. he sits besides you and turns to give you a peck on the cheek

“thank you for breakfast baby.” “hehe you’re welcome babe.”

after you both are prepared and ready to leave, mysta gives you the location and you start driving

as you get closer, you see the ferris wheel and many other carnivals coming into view. you get excited, now knowing that you guys will be spending your day at the carnival

you pull mysta to different rides the whole day, going on a pendulum ride, a drop tower ride and a thrill ride just to name a few

to take a break, mysta decides to try and win you a fox plushy from the dart throwing booth

“arghhhh almost!!! nah nah nah, i got it this time y/n.”

you’d give mysta kisses on the cheek to help (≧▽≦)

mysta would go, “i’m charged up now, i’m gonna win this damn fox for you y/n, watch me.”

after spending a decent amount of money on it, he finally wins it for you and you reward him by giving him a kiss on the lips

next up, you both go to the bumper cars and go on it multiple times

by the time you both are actually done with the bumper cars, your cheeks would be hurting from all the smiling and your stomachs would be hurting from all the laughing

at end off the day, you both go onto the ferris wheel while the fireworks are going off. 

it was mysta’s idea, he wanted you to get the best view of the carnival with the fireworks

as your little carriage approaches the peak, mysta calls out to you and signals you to sit on his lap

“y/n what i’m about to do might be a little cheesy and cliché but…”

just as your carriage reaches the peak, mysta kisses you gently and you kiss him back, hearing the fireworks still going off in the background

when you both part from the kiss, you see that mysta has a cute flush on his cheeks

he looks so cute that you lean in to peck his lips a few more times uweeee mysta is a precious baby, must proteccc (´ ω `♡)

luca

“babeeee…babe wake up…”

you open your eyes slowly to see luca with a gentle smile on his face, holding a cup of coffee

“get up babe, we have to get ready for our first date!”

“mmm…give me 5 more minutes luca…” you say sleepily and close your eyes again

luca sets down his cup of coffee before climbing on top of you and leaving soft gentle kisses all around your face

“lucaaa, that tickles!”

“yeah well, if you want me to stop, you gotta get up then.”

“okay okay, i’m up! i’m up!” you giggle

luca gives one last kiss on your lips before climbing off you, grabbing his coffee again

“i’ve made breakfast already y/n, come have some before it gets cold.”

after you’ve had breakfast and got ready, the both of you made your way to a mall

when you arrive at the mall you’re confused at what luca is planning, however when he leads you to the arcade, it clicks

you both spend almost the whole day playing at the different arcade machines

luca would challenge you to shooting hoops and you would be so close to beating him multiple times

luca just does his iconic laugh when you try and distract him while he’s shooting the basketball into the hoops

“hey y/n that’s cheating!! you can’t poke me!”

“oh yeah? watch me, luca kaneshiro.”

you both would also play dance dance revolution and you’d both be panting after you’re done with playing it

“oh gosh that was a fun workout.”

“yeah pog!! you did amazing babe.”

luca would then spot the claw machines and try to get you as many plushies as possible

as he’s browsing which other claw machines to try out, he spots one that has a lion plushie. “omg babe, that looks like augustus. i have to get him.”

after luca’s 3rd try he got the augustus looking plushie and he hands it to you saying, “this is now yours okay? take good care of augustus.”

by the end of the date, the both of you would have your arms full of plushies to bring back

once you get home, the both of you arrange the plushies neatly on an empty shelf that you have and place augustus on the bed

you both plop on the bed, exhausted from all the fun y’all had today

you turn to luca with a smile, “thank you for the fun date baby; and for winning all those plushies for me.”

luca pulls you closer to him and kisses the tip of your nose. “i’m glad it was fun babe, i had a lot of fun too.”

ike

ike is notorious for staying up way later than he should so you’d be up first, making his favourite caviar toast for breakfast — since mans literally brought a tube of it when he came to visit you (≧▽≦)

as you place the plates down on the dining table, from the corner of your eye you see ike walk out of the bathroom

“good morning darling, thank you for preparing breakfast!” ike says before giving you a peck on the cheek

“good morning ikey, i hope i made the toast the way you like it.”

ike takes his first bite and groans, “god, this is heaven sent, you made it perfectly y/n, thank you.”

as you both have breakfast, ike asks if you’d like to go on a first date with him today — of course, you agreed

ike would bring you to a karaoke bar for the first half of the date

you both would sing so many vocaloid songs together and of course some duets as well

“you have such an amazing voice sweetheart! you need to showcase your voice more with some karaokes for stream!”

after a few hours of singing and taking breaks in between, it was lunch time and both of you were famished

for lunch, ike brought you to this beautiful french café that had so many food options, you were spoiled for choice

both of you were sitting side by side, looking at the menu, deciding on what to eat

you hummed, trying your best to make a decision and when you turn to ike, you see that he’s looking at you with a smile

“w-why’re you looking at me?”

ike pulls you closer, hiding the both of you with his menu and gives you a soft gentle kiss on the lips

“you looked so cute trying to decide what to eat, i couldn’t help it.” ike explains with a slight blush dusting his cheeks

you stare at him with your mouth slightly opened for a bit before giggling and giving him a little peck on the cheek

you and ike would just chill in the café for a while — after you both are done eating — to talk a little before heading home

for the rest of the day, you and ike would just chill on the couch, watching some netflix

ike’s head would be on your lap and you were running your fingers through his soft hair i can vaguely hear vox being salty in the background (≧▽≦)

ike would do his little high-pitched cat noise as he stretches and then say, “thank you for the relaxing date today babe, i really enjoyed myself.”

you’d lean down to give him a soft peck on the lips saying that you enjoyed yourself too

shu

"hey babe, c'mere. i have a surprise for you."

you walk over to shu who was sitting on the couch and sat next to him

he asks you to close your eyes and put your hands out

you feel him place two pieces of paper onto your hands and then you were told that you could open your eyes

you open your eyes to see two tickets to a space exhibition

you look at him with so much excitement, shu thinks you look absolutely adorable

the next morning you’re leaning against the kitchen counter having your morning coffee when you see a sleepy shu walking towards you

“good morning baby!”

“mm…good morning babe…” shu mumbles sleepily and grabs his minecraft chicken mug to pour his coffee into

after taking a few sips of coffee, shu starts waking up and he presses a soft kiss to your cheek

after a quick and simple brunch, you both are prepared to head to the space exhibition

you and shu walk around the exhibition with your hands interlocked, you pointing at the different constellations and asking shu what they were

shu was more than happy to tell you what they were and which stars form the constellations

when you both get to a room with a galaxy projector and planet decorations hanging from the ceiling, you walked further into the room with your mouth agape, mesmerised by how pretty the room was

your face illuminated by the galaxy projector and shadows cast on your face from the planet decorations hanging from the sky was such an ethereal sight for shu

he took his phone out to take a sneaky photo of you and set it as his phone’s lock screen

shu thinks he’s falling even deeper in love with you

you run over to shu, telling him how pretty you find this room

“you’re even prettier though…” shu whispers

you caught what he said and you blushed, giving him a peck on the cheek

after having dinner, shu said he had one more thing he wanted to do with you before heading home

shu brings to you a park, guides you to the top of a slope of grass and lays down, motioning for you to lay down on his chest

you both just lay there, star gazing

thank goodness it was a clear sky that night, so that the both of you could see the stars in the sky

shu would point at them telling you what each of them are, “that’s capella, that one’s antares and the other one’s adhara.”

after a moment of silence, you tilt your head up slightly to look at shu, “today has been so nice, thank you for the enjoyable date babe.”

shu smiles and says, “eyy, i’m glad you enjoyed it, i had an amazing time too. plus, i got a new lockscreen from today.”

you jolt up and look at him, “what did you say??!! wait…show me!!”

“mmm nope.” he chuckles

you both were lounging on the couch watching spy x family together, after the episode was done, shoto turns to you and asks, "hey babe, what are your thoughts on having a little sushi date later for lunch? i know you really liked it when we went out for sushi during the off collab."

you eyes brighten at the word, "sushi" and you nod, agreeing to the idea once it left shoto's lips

at the sushi restaurant, you see that shoto ordered a couple's plater for the both of you to share

"i ordered this one because whenever i’m back home, i order something like this and i always have no one to share it with so i finish it alone. but now i have you, so we can eat this together.” shoto you’re so cute please

for the whole sushi date, you and shoto would take turns feeding each other sushi, not caring if anyone was watching

“babe you got some sauce on the corner of your lips, lemme get that for you.” shoto then leans forward to lick it off your lips and when he pulls back he sees that the tips of your ears are red and he teases you about it

after the sushi date, shoto suggests bowling as the next activity

arriving at the bowling alley, you and shoto get into your competitive modes, taunting each other a little

“i’m gonna beat your ass in bowling babe.” “nah y/n, there’s no way, i play valorant, my aim’s impeccable.”

when you end up winning the first round, you smirk and asked him, “so what was that about having impeccable aim?” “oh shut up y/n, my shoes are slippery so my aim’s a little off.”

when shoto ends up winning the second round, he chuckled and said, “i won this time babe, you winning the first time was a fluke.” “oh shut your pretty mouth shoto, you just got lucky.”

after a few more rounds, you both end up with a tie

“well i guess we’re both equally good at bowling then y/n.” shoto says, slinging his arm over your shoulder

for dinner, you both head to a ramen shop as shoto was craving some ramen

arriving back home, shoto plops onto the couch and groans, “oh god, i’m so full…”

you motion for him to sit up so that he can rest his head on your lap

you run your fingers through his hair slowly and you both sit in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company

shoto opens his eyes and says, “hey babe?”

“hmm?”

“i had fun today, did you?”

“yeah i did, thank you for the date baby.”

“i’m glad, now gimme a kiss.” shoto says with a pout

you giggle and lean down to give him a gentle peck on the lips

[pastafossa]

Ok. TRT business and a question, cause I need feedback from readers at this point.

First: the final chapter of the Raven What If fic should be posted this week, I'm about done editing it. The bigger, much more important question: So I have a potential chapter for tomorrow. I've been worrying and fretting over posting it, not because I think it's bad, but because it's short by TRT standards, currently around 2k words, and it both frustrates me and makes me feel weirdly guilty at the thought of dropping what's so much less than my usual. I'm used to being able to write longer chapters, being able to squeeze everything I want into them, and I have a literal outline of this goddamn chapter that has this good stuff in it and I know what needs to be written. I can see it right there. The movie is playing in my head just fine. But the truth of it is, my writing is slow at the moment thanks to post-covid brain fog. I'm checking in with my doctor, I've started taking specific supplements (which I'm hoping to see results from in the next few weeks), I'm clawing my way back bit by bit, but I continue to write slowly, mostly because I either can't focus or I have to stop every few sentences to struggle with a word I can't remember. It's incredibly frustrating. The thing is though, at least I *am* writing, which gives me hope. But this is where you - the readers - come in. Because right now we have two possible paths for updates going forward for a bit. Option 1: Longer gaps between our usual chapters. If we go this road, it'll take longer but as I chip away, I'll eventually have the full planned chapter, which I'd post. This would be a chapter closer to what we've had most weeks for the past oh god like 2 years. At current speed I'd drop it in a few weeks, and then hopefully the next one would come a little faster, until eventually we're back to our usual. So basically, you'd get your big chunks when the updates do come, and the same natural endpoints and arcs as before. Drawback is obviously the time between updates, so you won't be fed as often (though I'd try to find things in my editing folder to clean up and drop, like the Raven fic).

Option 2: Shorter chapters but more regular updates. If we go this road, we'd be back to weekly updates of our adventures with Matt and Jane. There'd just be less than usual for a bit and then, hopefully as I improve, you'll see the word count begin to climb back up. So in this case, you'd be getting a weekly dose of TRT, the usual fluff and angst and action, but the catch is less overall to read (likely individual scenes rather than multiples), and potentially sudden endpoints/more cliffhangers as I 'end' at what was outlined as a scene change.

Which way I go will mostly depend on ya'll tbh. I think I can make either work, since I've managed to start writing a little again and I really, really am hoping the supplements help. But since this'll potentially alter the update schedule we've had for years, I wanted to see which you'd prefer.

So, Option One - longer gaps but long chapters - or Option Two - shorter chapters weekly. Which would you prefer?