#when billy’s upset steve comes up to him and says who put baby in the corner

[ickypuppi3]

billy, steve, heather and robin all going to watch dirty dancing together when it comes out

[whateverloomis]

I dont know if you know her but can you do a billy x reader x stu with a reader who is lile hrh collections personality-wise?

She is very protective of the boys and whenever theres someone making them feel less then she just makes the person feel stupid and cry 💀

I feel like they would love the chaotic nature of their s/o amd have them do the calls just to make the victims cry

I don't know who she is, sadly :( However I came up with a prompt list based on your description! Hope you like it anon 🫡💖

🔪Fem reader who's protective over Billy and Stu🔪 (18+ content)

Note: Use of YN and (she/her) pronouns || Unedited

• She would definitely kill someone if she had to in order to protect the boys, and they would do the same for her.

• Stu is more vocal about his feelings, and when he told YN about Casey Becker dumping him for Steve she was immediately in to get some revenge and have fun while doing so.

• The calls Casey received the night of her death were made by YN. She served as the perfect distraction in order for the boys to execute their killings perfectly and without getting caught.

• She'd ask humiliating questions and say the most gruesome things.

"Let's play a guessing game... Who's the dumb blonde victim?"

"I'm gonna chop you up to pieces..."

• Once they got away with that killing spree, and any other kill they had planned, the boys praised YN.

"You're always so good to us baby."

"Tell me who you want to get rid of baby, we'll take care of it for you tonight."

• Billy was complicated when it came to feelings and expressing when he was upset or angry about something.

• When all three of them were planning to kill Sidney Prescott, YN was all for it. She didn't like the girl anyways. YN had to put up with watching Billy pretend he loved her and hear about how he couldn't get her to have sex with him.

• "I can't get her to give in and I'm starting to get tired of this shit." He'd say over and over, and YN would fuck him instead just to take his mind off of it for a little while.

"Fuck, you're so good to me baby."

"Yeah, just like that... Fuck, you feel so good."

Billy would praise YN while she was on top of him, riding his dick and letting him thrust up from underneath her. Use her.

• "When I close the front door, Stu will come out of the kitchen and you'll climb down the stairs so we can corner Sidney, okay baby?" Billy told YN the night they planned to kill Sid and she couldn't help but worry about him. About Stu. Her boys.

• She had to keep them safe. Stick to the plan and make sure everything went smoothly.

• She'd die for the boys if it was necessary. Anything to keep them alive and well.

[every-dayiwakeup]

ok u know i had to send an ask after u replied to my post !! id love to hear some headcanons for chubby steve and chubby eddie? (you can always add some chubby billy ones too, i know you love him 😉)

Oooh I've been waiting for this one 😜 @jaethecreator

Unlike Steve and Billy, Eddie doesn't get much physical activity. He spends most of his time in his trailer, eating junk food and jamming to Metallica (mood honestly). So he lacks the firmness of the other two. He's not particularly large in stature, and he has a thinner face. He's actually pretty happy being chubby, and he's not particularly shy. Compared to his boyfriends, he's "tiny". He may not wear revealing outfits (aside from in the bedroom- he's a sucker for leather is all I'm gonna say 😏) but he embraces any qualities that "set himself apart from people". Anything to annoy the conformists (which is his core belief and drive as a character). And if showing skin offends them, he'll do it out of spite. He knows he looks good, and that's enough for him (goals 😌🤌). He's delightfully doughy all over. His boyfriends are fucking tree trunks who have no problem picking him up, and the pounds he's packed on are simply a reminder of the numerous times the three Fuckateers gather on Steve's couch (Billy isn't convinced the stains on Eddie's mattress aren't piss) and munch on snacks. Happy memories are connected to his squishy stomach, and thighs. What's to be upset about?

Adding onto that, I think Eddie finds comfort in having some extra chub on him, because it's a state of contentment. For Billy, too.

Ever since Steve started working at Scoops Ahoy, he put on a few pounds. Since he's pretty tall, and has always been slim, the weight gain is a little more obvious. It usually goes to his ass, sides, and his stomach. It's heaven for Billy and Eddie, because with this new addition comes with a hairy belly. And as yall know I am an advocate for buff! Steve, so fuck, he's both. He's got this whole lumberjack look going on, and even his chest is wider. The bigger Steve gets, the more hair seems to grow. Steve doesn't necessarily notice getting chubby (because he's not someone who spends forever in front of a mirror when it's not hair related- I mean some of his outfits are ... questionable 😭). Plus theres no doubt its a combination of fat and muscle. He's definitely stronger now, and Billy likes to call him Hopper's long lost son... Whopper.

Billy has never been stick thin. As a child, he was pretty big, and he got bullied a lot- especially by Neil. When his mother was still present, she would reassure him that it was normal for kids to have baby fat. It never really went away. He works out religiously (look I know yall saw this dude drinking beer and smoking while lifting weights 😭) but fat still clings to his thighs, abdomen, face, legs, and ass- and he hates it. Unlike Steve and Eddie, his build is wide and broad. Billy boy is thick all over. Being around Eddie helps with his confidence a little, but he's a little shy. Plus his chipmunk cheeks make him look even younger (and he's the youngest of the three). Billy definitely has some internalized fatphobia due to bullies at school AND at home, so sometimes he lashes out at people who remind him of himself/how he sees himself. He's very hard on himself regardless of what it is anyway.

Eddie asks him point blank if he actually thinks fat is bad. Billy breaks down into tears, saying "On me it is!". Steve jumps in and asks Billy if he thinks Steve and Eddie look good. Billy nods fervently, and his boyfriends hug him, saying "If we look pretty, you look pretty, too. It's a three way street."

Also: Eddie and Steve have no problem with nicknames related to their builds in anyway, but their blonde bombshell isn't there yet, and that's okay. He'll get there. Until then, the brunettes will continue to love him enough when he isn't able to love himself.

Tagslist: (I figured yall would be interested + I wasn't sure if yall were tired of my chubby billy 🥺) (🎪🚶‍♂️)

@suspiciouslackofclowns

@thatawkwardlittlefangirl

@wixterirox

@whoringrove

@harringroveho

@polaris-ursae

@geormenia

@emeraldwitches

@spaceboxkitty

@shipworm

@namorian

@steveharringronsupport

@youre-my-boshaw-baby

[hades-10397]

31 days of Harringrove

Prompt: Baby it’s cold outside pt 2

Billy removed his jacket setting on a near by chair. He toed his boots off and walked them back over to the front door. He made his way back to the living room. He looked at the book selection. He picked a book that peaked his interest and sat on the opposite side of the fire place from Steve. He opened the book and began to read about this guy Arthur Dent and his friend Ford. “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy! That’s one of my favorites. You know if you end up liking it it’s a series.” He responded to Steve with a hum getting really into the book.

They sat in silence for awhile and read. It was peaceful. The warmth of the fire made him forget how cold he was. The quit company was nice. Billy couldn’t remember the last time he just sat and read a book. He was about half way through the book when Steve closed his book. He looked up and watched Steve remove his glasses once more and set them on the table along with his book. “There is something about vampire books that just draw me in.” “Steve chucked. “What was the book about?” He was interested in what Steve liked so much about it.

Then it began with Steve talking about this vampire, Louis, who tells his life story to a reporter. Then Steve was talking about how he hopes the writer will put out another book soon. Then how he started reading more recently because he was diagnosed with dyslexia. He talks about how it was frustrating that this whole time he wasn’t stupid, He just had a harder time than other. Billy sat there and listened while Steve talked about his life. He didn’t speak unless he had a question or a small comment on something.

“So what about you man. You’re basically like a whole mystery to this town.” Steve pulled his blanket to cover more of his body. He sat back waiting to listen. Billy felt a little uncomfortable with being put on the spot but hey maybe this was a chance to start something he had wanted for so long. “Alright well.. I’ve always liked school. I have a photographic memory so learning came easy to me but I always wanted to learn more. At least I did when I was young.” He continued to talk just like Steve had. He had listened just like Billy did for him.

“So what made you move out to bumfuck Indiana.” He chuckled. Billy really wanted to avoid this but now with Neil gone and being in Susan’s care he knew he was safe enough to open up. Maybe even ready to. “My dad.. he caught me with a guy in my room. My dad was a real piece of work. He was racist, homophobic just about everything in the book. So he.. he beat me and said we had to move out of this liberal state.” He looked at the fire avoiding Steve’s stare. He sighed waiting his breathe effect the flames. “My mom left us. When the beating got to much she left. I would call her but as more time went on she stopped answering.”

He finally met Steve’s eyes to find and understand look. “I can’t imagine how hard that was. Shit my parents suck but their not even around to know what goes on in my life.” Billy was surprised he didn’t have a negative thing to say about him being gay. “I guess that fight at Byers makes more sense. I’d be angry at the world to if I had a dad like that.” Billy scoffed softly. “Preaching to the choir pretty boy.” Steve sat up at the name. He gave him a confused look. “What?” “Is that why you call me pretty boy?”

Billy laughed at that. “Yeah dude it’s called a crush? You pick on them sometimes and call them pet names.” Steve sat there for awhile. He just stared at him. It started making Billy uncomfortable. “You got a problem or something?” “No no! No problem here!” Steve stood up and walked away to the kitchen. He sighed and followed the other. “Come on Steve what’s wrong.” This was making him more anxious. It’s not like people can help who they like. He couldn’t really be upset at him for that.

“First, I wouldn’t call punching someone in the face picking on them.” Billy rolled his eyes. He thought they were pass this. He already apologized. “Second, I’m sure most people would be overwhelmed when their crush says they liked them too so give me a break would ya.” Steve leaned up against the kitchen counter staring at the ceiling. Wait did he just say he liked him. There’s no way. “Hold on. You like me too?” Billy inhaled scared Steve would say ‘Sike! Got ya!’ but it never came. God why wasn’t Steve saying anything.

Finally. “Of course I like you! Have you seen.. you! Plus you’re like really interesting and I don’t know. I use to put on a mask and be an asshole so it felt like someone understood how I felt. That’s one of the things that drew me in.”

[just-jordie-things]

Bite Me - Mike Wheeler

word count: 4052 warnings: swearing, unedited and poorly written summary: Mike has harbored a crush on (y/n) since the day they met.  And all it takes is a run-in with Billy Hargrove for him to lose his shit and let his feelings be known. (a/n): I just randomly felt the need to write for one of my best boys

___

(y/n) (y/l/n) was a sweet girl. If you asked anyone they’d tell you how kind she is, to everyone she meets.  From giving out homework answers when someone forgot, to sharing her lunch, she’d lend a hand no matter who you were.  She was a good person, and that’s why Mike was so in love with her.

He had been ever since she’d joined the Party, back in the fourth grade.  She’d been bringing in an extra juice box and snack for two weeks, just for Will, and the four boys agreed unanimously to offer her a spot in their group.  Mike can still remember the look on her face, the wide grin that showed off her recently lost tooth, and the way she’d giggled and agreed instantly.

They taught her D&D, she was invited into Will’s fort, and taken in by Joyce as one of her own.  She was truly one of them.

She didn’t look at him like everyone else did, it’s one of the first things he’d noticed about her, and he could see it every time their eyes met.  That annoyed expression that he was used to receiving -from peers, from his parents, even Nancy, even their friends- he’d grown so accustomed to it, until he’d met her.

“Fuck you! Fuck you!” Mike was shouting, about to lunge towards Steve, before (y/n) and Dustin grabbed his arms to yank him back.  “We can’t just stay here and-”

“That’s exactly what we’re doing!” Steve shouted back, shoving a scolding finger in the younger boy’s face.  “We’re staying here, so I can keep you dipshits safe!”

Steve rolled his eyes before spinning around to leave.  Nothing stressed him out like these kids.

“Come on, we’ll figure something else out” (y/n) said quietly, and tugged on Mike’s arm a little more.  

His glare softened when he turned to her.

She nods her head off to the side, prompting him to walk off with her.  He groaned, but he followed when she pulled him towards the living room.  Her hand didn’t let go of his wrist until they were away from everyone else.

“You know nothing you could say right now is gonna make me less pissed off-”

“I know,” (y/n) giggles before he can start ranting again.  “But maybe you can just take a breath and pretend to calm down?” She hums, and she laughs again.

Mike groans loudly, loud enough that everyone in the house could hear him, before he threw himself down onto the sofa.

(y/n) just shook her head, and sat next to him.

“Steve’s just trying to keep us safe, Mike,” She says, voice just as soft, but a bit more serious now.  “He’s not doing this to make you mad, you get that, right?”

He nods, but hangs his head in his hands.

“Are you… um… upset because El’s out there?” She asked unsurely.

She had a pretty good feeling that Mike had a crush on Eleven.  He was distraught when she left, and since she’d come back (a few hours ago) he’s been extremely on edge.  Hence the pouting right now.

“I guess,” He shrugged.  “I just- I want to just-”

“I know,” (y/n) murmurs again.  “I get it”

She admired Mike’s need to help, to get involved.  He was brave, if not a little reckless as well.  But there was something sweet about his extreme need to help.  Even though she was still convinced he was only wired this way because of his crush on Eleven.

Mike looked over to her, finding that loving look on her face.  His favorite expression -maybe even his favorite thing- and it somehow calmed him down a bit.  She smiled when he hadn’t started grumbling again.

“You good now?” She asked.

“Yeah,” He sighed.  “I’ll be fine”

She grinned, and poked his cheek affectionately before getting up from the couch.  

“I’m gonna get a glass of water and make sure Steve’s calmed down too,” She told him.  “Guess I’m the only sane one around here”

He laughed a bit as she left the room.

“Steve?” (y/n) called gently as she approached her older friend.

He turned to her, an unamused, and rather annoyed, look on his face.

“You alright?”

“I will be, once I’m in a retirement home and have restraining orders placed on all of you,” He answered, making the girl laugh.  “Your boyfriend calm down yet?” He asked, and her laughter stopped almost instantly.

Steve was chuckling now at how red her cheeks were turning.

“He’s not-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, heard it before, pretended to believe it before, whatever,” He said, and (y/n) busied herself with getting a drink.  “Now’s as good a time as any to just, you know, confess.  You’re stuck here anyways”

“No I… I can’t um…” She shakes her head, staring down at the bottle of water she’d grabbed from the fridge.  “I can’t do that” She finished weakly.

Steve had known (y/n) for a few years now.  He’d met her the first night he’d hung out with Nancy in the Wheeler home, she’d been there with Mike coming up with a new character for D&D.  His first impression, as it was for all of the kids, was that she was a geek.  And she was, but she was a lot of other things too, and what stood out the most to him was her kindness.  She didn’t exactly fit in with the Party like the boys seemed to.  Not only because she was a girl, but because she was… friendly.

Mike wasn’t cruel to Steve by any means, but he was a snarky little shit that sometimes made Steve just want to-

“Why the hell do you like that little asshole so much anyways?”

(y/n) was still blushing as she shrugged her shoulders.

He’d picked up on her little crush one of the first times she’d met him.  He called her out on it right away too, luckily only Dustin had heard, and he’d laughed it off, thinking it was a joke.

It wasn’t.

“He’s such a piece of shit,” Steve said through a laugh, earning a pointed glare from (y/n).  “Obviously he doesn’t treat you the same way he treats, well, everyone else”

“No, he doesn’t,” (y/n) sighed lovingly.  

Her eyes glanced out to the living room, where Mike and Lucas were heatedly, and quietly, arguing.  She rolled her eyes at the sight, not that it surprised her.

“He’s very, um-”

“Sweet on you?” Steve supplied, earning another look, which quickly turned into a nervous smile.  “Yeah, that’s how I’d put it.  I don’t know why you’re being such a baby about it.  He obviously has a little crush on you too,” Steve said, wagging his finger around in her face.  “Otherwise he wouldn’t be such a little gentleman towards you”

(y/n) didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t have to for Steve to know how she felt.  He’d always known.  She didn’t do a great job at hiding it, but her friends, and Mike for that matter, were oblivious.

They were interrupted by a bright light shining in through the windows, bright enough that she shielded her eyes as she wandered out to the large picture window.

“Who is that?” She asked, as everyone gathered around to figure out who could show up at the Byers’ house right now.

Their question was quickly answered.

“Sinclair!”

The angry, dangerous voice sent a shiver all the way down (y/n’s) spine, before an uneasy feeling settled in her stomach.  Billy Hargrove was bad news, but him being here, right now, was even worse.

“Stay inside” Steve ordered, shoving the kids down underneath the window.

“I know you’re in there!” Billy screamed again from outside.

“Stay inside” Steve repeated, before walking out of the house.

“What the fuck does he think he’s gonna do?” Lucas asked, as everyone peeked their heads up just enough so they could see what was going on outside.

“He’s gonna fight him” Dustin said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“He’ll lose,” Max mumbled.  All eyes turned to her, but her gaze was trained on her brother, afraid.  “He’ll kill him”

“He’ll be okay,” (y/n) whispered to her new friend.  “Steve’s a tough guy, and can throw a punch-”

“I’m not so sure he can take one, though” Max said.

(y/n) frowned, and set a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“We’ll be alright” She assured, even though she wasn’t certain what was going to happen.

Steve was now walking down to Billy, who was still yelling, but they couldn’t make out what exactly.

“What’s he saying?” Mike hissed, only to get shushed by Dustin, thus starting a ‘shh!’ war.

(y/n) only let it go on until Billy shoved Steve back by his shoulders.

“Boys!” She scolded, sitting up a little straighter as the fight outside escalated.

Just as she’d sat up, Mike grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her back down.

“You want to get seen and murdered?” He whisper screamed.  She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her sweet smile.  His brow furrowed at her smile, but he wasn’t quick enough to say anything about it, as everyone’s attention was pulled back to the scene outside.

Billy had shoved Steve to the ground, and was racing up to the house now.  He locked eyes with the Party, who all quickly leaned down as low to the floor as they could get.

“Lucas, run!” Max screamed, shoving the boy to haul ass before her brother could storm in and get his hands on him.

When the door swung open so hard it slammed against the wall, Mike grabbed (y/n) by both arms and just about ripped them out of their sockets as he pulled her upwards with him to get her as far fucking away from Billy as possible.

“We have to help Lucas!” She tried telling him while he dragged her off to the other side of the house.  “Mike!” She shoved his hands off of her, and gave him a pleading look.  “This isn’t like you, come on, he needs our-”

“Where are you, Sinclair!? Come on out!”

She ran away from Mike before he could convince her to hide.

Finding Lucas shoved up against the wall, something in her clicked.  Billy’s significantly larger framed towered over the boy, who was clearly afraid, while Billy snarled nasty things right in his face.

“Why don’t you just fuck off?” She yelled at him, before thinking through the consequences of her actions.

Dustin and Mike stared at her in shock.  She didn’t curse much, so to hear the foul word come out in her voice was… pretty out of character.

Just as Billy whirled around, likely about to send one knockout punch to her face, Lucas took his moment of distraction to knee him right between the legs.  (y/n) squealed, both hands covering her mouth in surprise.

It was then that she took Mike’s advice to run back into the kitchen, and duck down behind the cabinets so she was out of sight.  

“You’re fucking dead!” Billy howled in pain, and while every bone in (y/n’s) body told her to cover her ears, close her eyes, and stay hidden, she peeked around the corner anyways.

“No,” A different voice, a calm voice, a familiar voice, spoke up.

(y/n) had never been so relieved to see Steve in her whole life.

“You are” He finished, and took a strong swing of his fist against Billy’s jaw.

The crack that resonated made her wince, and she shut her eyes only for a moment as illy toppled backwards.  He didn’t fall, and instead swung back at Steve, starting a very violent fistfight in the Byers’ kitchen.

“Come on, you gotta move” A pair of arms encircled her torso and helped her up from the ground.  

Mike’s hands were much more gentle with her now than they had been a few minutes ago, and this time she let him bring her out to the living room, away from the fight.

Her eyes were wide with fear as she watched Billy throw Steve around the kitchen effortlessly.  It was terrifying, she felt as though she was about to see him get killed.

When he landed a rather harsh punch, right under Steve’s chin, she cried out for him.

Steve crumbled to the ground, definitely knocked unconscious.  He looked dead, though, and as the thought crossed her mind, she felt it again.  The snap.  Like an instinct buried deep was just let loose.

“You motherfucking piece of shit!” She screamed in a way that Mike, or any of them, had ever heard before, and was charging at Billy in an instant.

It was a hasty decision, grabbing the beautiful vase of flowers off of Joyce Byers’ table and throwing it full force at the back of Billy’s head.

While his head was soaked, and definitely bleeding from the shards of glass, he still managed to stay standing, and was fuming with anger as he glared down at (y/n).

“You made a big mistake little girl” He growled, and began to stalk towards her in a threatening manner.

“Bite me” She snarled back at him, followed by the rash decision to spit on him.

“(y/n) what the hell are you-!?”

Mike’s warning was cut off when Billy reached her, and she kicked him with all the force she could right in the gut.  He grunted, but it hardly slowed him down.  All she could see was red as she kicked him again, and began to throw her fists against his chest.

She didn’t have an ‘oh fuck’ moment until he grabbed her wrists in his large hands, and kept his hold so firm that tears welled in her eyes from the pressure.

“I’m gonna fucing kill you, little girl” He snarled, teeth bared right in her face.

Oh, fuck.

She tried to yank her body backwards, out of his grip, but he was faster, and stronger, and bigger than her.  This resulted in her being thrown, no, slammed into the nearest wall.  She cried at the crack of her skull against it, but had no time to react as Billy’s fist was all she could see, before it struck her and knocked her out instantaneously.

She fell like a limp, broken thing, and even when Mike grabbed her and shook her by her shoulders, she remained unconscious.  It didn’t matter that Billy was still looking for blood, he pulled her into his lap and held her close against his chest.  He was living a delusion thinking he could protect either of them if Billy came back for more, but he didn’t care.  He was gonna keep her safe now.

Max had plunged the syringe into her brother’s neck, and was threatening him with Steve’s bat, but Mike hardly paid them any attention.

“(y/n), wake up, come on,” His voice was barely a mumble, and he hated to admit it but his throat was growing hot and tight with his tears choking him up.  “C-come on open your eyes” He stuttered.

He pushed her hair out of her face so that it wouldn’t get sticky from the blood running out of her nose.  He wiped away the red substance with his sleeve, not bothered by it at all.

“We’re going!” Lucas called, and rushed over to Mike to help him carry her.  “Dustin Will and Max are getting Steve in the back.  I’ll help you with her”

Mike didn’t have time to question anything Lucas had just said, and hastily went along with the plan.  They looped (y/n’s) arms over both of their shoulders, and made their way out to Billy’s car. ___

Everything.

Hurt.

It was the first thing that (y/n) was aware of when she came to.  Her legs, her arms, her torso, her head-

Oh shit my head hurts.

She groaned softly, reaching a shaky hand up to prod around her eye.  She wasn’t exactly sure why, but it was definitely bruised.  The rest of her body had to have been bruised too.

She suddenly shot upward as the car went over a bump, and that’s when she realized she was even in a car.  Why was she in a car…?

Her head rolled against the seat, and she was met with someone’s shoulder against her cheek.  She winced at the pressure, probably because her cheek was bruised and bleeding.

“(y/n)?” A gentle, but distant voice called.  It sounded kind of hazy, like the person talking was miles away, and not right next to her.  “Hey, can you hear me?”

Her eyes met Mike’s round and worried brown ones, and a lazy smile tugged on the edges of her lips.  Even though his brow was furrowed, and there was a deep frown on his lips.

“What happened?” She asked, voice scratchy and quiet.

“What happened?” Mike repeated, much louder than he intended.  She flinched, and while an apologetic look swept over his face, he didn’t apologize.  “(y/n), you attacked Billy Hargrove” He told her in a grave tone.

“I did?” She asked proudly, her smile returning.

“No- don’t- jesus (y/n) what the hell are you on?” He asked.  “He almost killed you, I mean, look at you!”

“Can you please stop yelling dipshit?” Max called from the front.  “I’m trying to focus here!”

(y/n’s) eyes widened, and it dawned on her that Max was the one driving.  But just as she opened her mouth to protest being in the car right now, Mike continued on with his angry little rant.

“I mean, seriously, what the hell, (y/n/n)? Did you think you were gonna win? Did you really think that you were gonna take him down?”

Her brow crinkled and her eyes welled with tears, both from all the pain and his cruel words.

“Do you even realize that he could’ve killed you? Huh? I mean, I really thought he did for a second.  Do you even care?”

“What’s your problem right now?” The girl whimpered

“You are! You’re my problem,” He said, not thinking through the fact that she was crying right now.  “That was really stupid (y/n), really reckless”

“Oh, because you care so much about playing it safe,” She scoffed.

It was getting awkward for the others in the car, minus Steve, who was still knocked out.

“All you wanted to do tonight was to get out there- well- well here we are, Mike!” She shouted.  It hurt her head to yell, and Max was yelling again too, but she drowned it out.  “Hope you’re freakin’ happy” She mumbled, holding her hands against the side of her head.

Mike sighed, and pulled her hands away from her face, staring at her seriously.

“(y/n)...” He said softly.  “I’m sorry it’s just…” He let out one more heavy breath to prepare himself before diving in.  “Look at yourself (y/n), you’re hurt and there’s- there’s nothing I can do about it”

(y/n’s) brow furrowed as she stared back at him.

“What do you mean?” She mumbled weakly.

“I mean I- you… I have to… ugh” He groaned, clearly frustrated by his inability to form a coherent thought.

“You have to… what?” She hummed, face leaning around his shoulder tiredly.  

They were close enough that their whispers were only heard by them.  And somehow, it felt like they were the only people in the car.

“Mike?” She whispered when he hadn’t said anything yet.

His eyes flickered over her battered face.  The black eye, her split lip, her bruised and cut cheek, his heart broke looking at how much pain she must be in right now.  He couldn’t believe he let this happen.

“...protect you” He answered lamely.

“Protect me?” She repeats, soft, and loving.  “From what?”

“Apparently everything from interdimensional monsters to senior year bullies” He said, making her laugh softly.

“You don’t have to do that,” She said with a small shake of her head.  “I’m alright, I will be anyways.  You don’t have to worry so much about me-”

“See I do though- you- you make it impossible not to worry.  I’m just always- I’m a mess, okay?”

She giggled again, and rose a brow.

“I’m not following…you sound kinda crazy Mike-”

“I love you, okay?” He told her.

She choked.

“And I just need you to not get yourself hurt… okay?”

She’d never heard him speak so quietly, so nervously.

“You- you’re- um-”

“No more fighting people- and-and things- bigger than you, deal?”

His hands cupped around her face, thumb stroking over the bruise on her cheekbone in a comforting sort of way.  She swore she was melting into his touch, for a moment she forgot all about the agony her body was in.

She didn’t think twice about leaning off his shoulder so she could reach up and plant her lips against his.  It’s a gentle kiss, because her lips are sore and she was a bit nervous.  

Mike’s eyes widened, and he was sure this wasn’t real.  No, it couldn’t be real, there was no way (y/n) was kissing him.  Maybe he was the one that got knocked out? And this is all some kind of twisted nightmare-dream?

But it was real, she was kissing him.  And it was… wow it was great.

She’d almost pulled away, but he pulled her right back in, and shut his eyes to kiss her properly this time.

If he was being honest, he wanted nothing more than to just take her and pour every ounce of love he had for her into this kiss, but it would probably only hurt her more.

They were cut off by a low whistle, and (y/n) turned to see Steve, who had apparently been sat next to her this whole time, and Dustin, who was sat on his other side, both giving the pair very different looks.

Despite his face looking just as messed up as hers, Steve pulled a sly grin, and winked.

Dustin, however, looked like he might vomit.

“What.  The.  Fuck!?” His voice cracked when he screamed, making both (y/n) and Mike jump a bit in their seat.  “You guys have been- been- hooking up this whole time!?”

“What? No!” (y/n) argued back, shaking her head and trying to kill the idea in Dustin’s head before it escalated, but it seemed to be too late for that.  

“You have! You’ve been frenching!”

“Oh my god,” Mike rolled his eyes.  “Dustin, shut up”

“Can we save this argument for later, fellas?” Max hollered from the front.  “I don’t think that this is the most important thing going on-”

“W-wait a- wait a minute- wait a-!” Steve’s eyes widened as he started to panic.  “No! No way! Stop the car right now! Who let her drive-!?”

His screaming was abruptly cut off by the car swerving, causing everyone to scream now.

“Drive on the right side of the road! Jesus Christ we’re all gonna die!”

(y/n) wrapped both arms around Mike, one behind his neck and the other around his torso, keeping her secure.  In case this car were to crash, her seatbelt, and Mike, would anchor her in place.  Well, she hoped it would anyways.

He reacted quickly, embracing her tightly.

“I’ve been thinking I would get killed by a demogorgon,” She mumbled to him.  “Guess it’ll just be a plain old car crash that takes me out”  

He chuckled, but shook his head at her.

“No one’s dying, we had a deal”

She glanced up at him, a sweet smile on her lips.  And she waited for him to look back down at her to say anything.

“I love you too” She hummed, just soft enough that Dustin (luckily) couldn’t hear.

The smile that grew on Mike’s face was brighter than she’d ever seen from him before.  (y/n) was so relieved that her feelings were returned, that she felt she could go back to sleep, if she wasn’t getting nervous all over again about what was going to happen.

All they had to do now was to kill a monster and save their friends.

___

xoxo ~ jordie

[hargrove-mayfields]

the tags on your football Billy story about autistic kids not being allowed to play sports, gave me the idea of Steve with autism not being allowed on the basketball team and how Billy and maybe Tommy if you want since you write kegboys sometimes would react

It doesn’t take Billy long to notice him, the benchwarmer boy who sits on the sidelines, never getting his shot in a single game, just riding the bench with a smile on his face.

At first he sort of pegs it to mean the kid is just really not good, maybe riding the tails of his daddy’s sportsmanship legacy, but then Billy realizes something, that this kid doesn’t even get to play at practice.

He shows up and he sits there like being excluded is the happiest he’s ever been, and the only time he ever has the ball in his hands at all is if it’s to toss it to one of the boys on the court when it rolls to him.

Despite this though, he has his very own jersey. Number zero. Harrington.

Billy asks Tommy after practice once who this mysterious jersey kid is, and he smiles sort of tight, like maybe Billy shouldn’t have asked him that, and tells him, “I’ll introduce you.”

Tommy walks over to the kid and tells him something that makes him light up, jump to his feet and follow Tommy back over, “Billy, this is my best friend, Steve Harrington.”

Steve just sort of waves, so Billy jumps straight into it. This kid intrigues him and he wants to know more, “There a reason you don’t play, Harrington?”

In response he shrugs his shoulders, hands stuffed in the pockets of his way too big basketball shorts, “I’m not allowed.”

“Why not? You fail some test or something?” Billy tries to ask lightly, not noticing the way Tommy’s face scrunches up before Steve drops a bombshell on him instead, “They don’t let special ed kids on the basketball team.”

And if that’s not bad enough, Tommy then adds, though significantly more bitter than even Steve is, “Or on any team for that matter, whether it’s sports or clubs or debate, you name it. School board denies every last application.”

“Oh.” Billy frowns, totally dumbfounded, his school in California never had any issues with that, “Oh that- that’s bullshit.”

“I know.” They say at the same time, prompting Billy to ask, “They don’t even have like, a separate team?”

“Not enough kids would do it.” Tommy says, and he gets a sharp look from Steve, who corrects him quickly, “Not enough kids could get permission to do it.”

“But that’s such bullshit.” Billy repeats, not very helpfully.

“Nothing we can do about it. We’ve tried everything. Not even momma Harrington could convince the school board, and let me tell you, that woman is scary.”

Steve elbows Tommy for that one, and Tommy laughs softly, throws an arm around his shoulder, but Billy is thinking, biting the corner of his nail in concentration, “Why don’t we start our own team?”

“I don’t know.” Steve’s face scrunches up, and he turns to Tommy, like he doesn’t trust what Billy says, so Billy continues, “No, I’m serious. School says you can’t play for them, so fuck ‘em. There’s courts in the park, I have a ball, and I’m out there half the time watching my little sister anyways. Let’s start our own team.”

Tommy answers for him, “Practice takes up too much time. We’re not gonna be much of a team unless we’re going to be playing at night or in the winter.”

“Then we quit the tigers.” Billy shrugs, like it’s obvious.

Instantly Tommy narrows his eyes, “Very funny, man.”

On the other hand though, Steve looks at him with awe written all over his face, eyes wide and spelling, “You’d really quit for me?”

And Billy, he plays it off like that look doesn’t make his heart melt, claiming, “For you and for Max who’s been talking my ear off about how much she wants to play soccer and whose heart is going to break when she finds out she can’t.”

Convinced, Tommy looks over at Steve, “If you’re in Stevie, I’m in too.”

Steve seems like he’s considering his options, drumming his fingers on the outside of his thigh, occasionally humming softly in thought, and it’s making Billy impatient.

“So?” He asks, to which Steve nods a confirmation to his offer, his hair bouncing with his enthusiasm.

Tommy cracks a crooked smile, holds out a hand for Billy to shake, seal the deal, “You’ve got yourself a team, Hargrove.”

They decide not to give their little team a name, the idea of being called something feels too exclusive, which was the reason they’d all quit the school's team in the first place. Billy had gotten in big trouble when his dad found out he quit for wasting their time and money on basketball, but that was all bullshit anyways, games were only usually a half hour long and were free to get into for the players family, and the school paid for the uniforms.

But that was what he said and what he’d been going to punish Billy for until they found out about the reasoning behind quitting, after which Susan was flattered he cared so much about his little sister, and he got his permission to freely go down to the park and play with the “special” kid.

Neil of course didn’t care about him doing it for Max, he was just concerned with Billy’s public image. Playing ball with the richest family in town's dopey son did nothing but good things for the way their neighbors saw him, so he’d allow it.

A few weeks into their games though, which are mostly just playing HORSE or teaching Steve how to do trickier shots since no coach ever would, Billy has to bring Max along because nobody was going to be home and she wasn’t allowed to be by herself. It’s a dreary day so there aren’t many people around at all, so he decides he’s going to loosen her leash, and walks her over to the playground (that they can see clearly from the courts, he’s not that irresponsible.)

He teasingly offers to push Max on the swings or lift her up to the monkey bars, making her roll her eyes and proudly declare that she’s not a baby anymore, so he chuckles and leaves her be, walking back to the basketball hoops.

Tommy and Steve are just sitting on the old wooden bench just off to the side of the court, waiting for Billy to get back because he’s their little impromptu coach and they can’t start without him, but he notices that they’re sitting awful close together, and between them, Tommy’s hand sits slightly on top of Steve’s, pinky fingers linked together.

Now he knows these two are affectionate, he couldn’t even count how many times Tommy picked Steve up after he made a good shot or ruffled his hair and smiled at him when he messed up, but that was all just friendly affection.

This was different though, he could tell it was from the way Tommy’s eyes snap up and he pulls his hand away, the both of them looking away from each other guiltily.

He feels a little something like jealousy in his chest, or maybe it was just anxiety at the fact that they’d been so obviously holding hands in the public park, but either way, he just kind of freezes up, looking between their two terrified faces until Tommy’s turns angry, standing from the bench so fast the old rusty things creaks loudly and Steve has to cover his ears.

He grabs the front of the baggy jersey Billy wears from his old school's team, the bears, and gets right up in his face, sneering, “You gonna say something, Hargrove?”

And Billy’s not afraid of Tommy, he might be mean, but he’s on his toes to threaten him, and he’s pretty sure they both know Billy would win the fight anyways. He’s not going to fight him though, and he makes that clear, putting his hands up as a clear sign of not going to sock Tommy for yelling at him, “Secrets safe with me, dudes. You go down, I’m going down with you.”

Tommy doesn’t get it though, because he growls, “Right. ‘Cause all that matters is what will happen to your reputation after giving up your precious sport just to hang with a couple of fags, right?”

“Tom.” Steve snaps, but he gets ignored, Billy arguing over him, “Actually, no. You know all that talk about queer kids flocking together without even knowing? That doesn’t come from nothing. I out you, it’s putting a target on my back, and from there it won’t be not long before a little birdie tells the wrong person the right rumor and we’re all dead.”

“Oh.” Tommy says softly, his face falling.

Billy nods sarcastically in response, “Yeah, oh. So let go of my damn shirt before I find a reason to punch you in the face.”

“Can we just play basketball?” Comes a timid request from behind them, so Tommy lets go, wipes his hands on his shorts, and answers him, “‘Course we can, Stevie.”

It doesn’t take long for them to get bored though, none of them are really in the mood to play after that. They play a small game that’s pretty much just Tommy blocking Billy the whole time, but after he shoots the ball they all just let it roll, none of them caring enough to keep the play going. So instead, Tommy offers up his place to hang out there.

It sounds at least better than this, so Billy drops Max off back at home, making her promise not to do anything stupid to get them in trouble until he gets back later that night, and heads straight to Tommy’s like they planned.

The whole drive he’s worrying that they’re gonna pissed at him and beating himself up for not just pretending like he didn’t notice, to the point where he almost just drives right past, but Steve waves at his car from the front window, and he can’t do all this petty angry shit to him.

Tommy’s house is empty for the night, so that means two things, that they’re free to drink as much as they want, (smoking’s a no go though, the smell is too strong and makes Steve upset), and that Steve sits right on Tommy’s lap like it’s nothing.

Which, it is nothing. Billy just told them he was gay too, and now they don’t have to hide from their best friend, so it’s common sense that they wouldn’t.

But Billy, well, he wouldn’t say he’s jealous watching the two of them together, it just makes his chest burn every time they touch or laugh at some joke and whisper amongst themselves like he isn’t even there, or when Steve kisses Tommy’s cheek.

Yeah no, there’s no pretending, Billy is totally jealous. He’s had a thing for Tommy since like, day one of practice when he bounced a basketball back in his own face trying to show off, and Steve for just as long, yearning to know more about the pretty faced mystery kid who turned out to be a total sweetheart and won him over. It’s tearing him to shreds watching them just being happy together without being a part of that.

He wonders if these small town boys have ever even heard of having more than one partner other than like, mormons, and if they haven’t, how is he supposed to bring it up without sounding like a total weirdo. Maybe he could claim that he was just trying not to be left out since they were probably the only queer kids in Hawkins. Or maybe not and Tommy would try to kick his ass again for even trying.

He doesn’t have to do much wondering though, because as pointedly as he’s trying to ignore them, Steve keeps getting closer to Billy on the couch until he’s sitting in his lap, and Billy has to ask, blue eyes going a little wide, cheeks flushing red in a way that had nothing to do with the sunburn he’d gotten at the park earlier, “What’re you doing Steve?”

“You included me. Now I’m including you.” Steve hums and leans his head on Billy’s shoulder, holding eye contact with Tommy.

To say that Billy is flustered and doesn’t know what to do with himself is more than an understatement. He'd like to say he’s not the most inexperienced one here, but it’s not looking good, because he’s flushed as red as a tomato, and the only thing he can think to say is just, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Tommy says and smiles that big goofy smile of his, a playful imitation of their little argument from before, “And I’d much rather you kiss me than punch me.”

[neonponders]

Surprise! Here’s a part 2 for my fic, Deeper Than Skin ~ read on ao3 •

Thank you SO MUCH @edith-moonshadow for donating to Harringrove for Palestine, AND letting me indulge in my fic some more. 

👠 👠 👠 👠 👠 👠

Billy’s thumb pressed along Steve’s arch, holding the pressure for a few seconds as he went along . . .

He peeked up at the sound of ocean-swaying breaths at the head of the bed. As if he could hear the exact moment Steve fell into REM sleep, clutching Billy’s latest gift to his chest.

An elephant ear leaf plushie. It was half the size of Steve, and it’s heart-shape tucked under his chin to pillow his cheek perfectly. The soft micro-fleece behaved like crushed velvet, the light absorbing inside the dark, unsettled fibers where Steve touched it.

Billy had gotten very good at choosing gifts for him.

Steve’s apartment was slowly filling up with Billy’s tokens of affection. The window seat had become a shelf for Steve’s shoe boxes; only three so far, but Billy intended to get him a proper shoe rack, or renovate his closet

Or have Steve move into his place. Billy wanted nothing more in the world. To get home to Steve slumped on the couch, immediately complaining of incongruent television plots as if Billy had never left the room. To see Steve’s shirts and clutter in their closet despite Steve being gone for work. To put his shoe collection on display in any room Steve wanted, so he could live in the open with his interests, instead of walking laps in their closet.

Not all of his gifts were expensive. That proved the trick. The key to Steve’s locked tight heart. Most were certainly pricey, but once Billy knew what he liked, what he constituted as worth it, then he couldn’t help himself.

A coffee table book of The New Yorker’s covers, spreads, and topmost articles throughout the 20th century. Steve stared at that thing for hours.

The elephant ear pillow clutched to Steve’s chest now, among other plant cushions. Steve claimed he couldn’t keep anything alive, so Billy gave him a pink and blue sedum succulent, a purple and green echeveria, and a monstera leaf. He now lay in his garden, sound asleep despite Billy’s rolling a cold tennis ball around his heel.

It was dangerous, this bruised ache in his chest.

Even with Steve right here, Billy felt sore with affection. The desire to wrap an arm around Steve’s waist was ever present, to pull their bodies flush together, or to tuck himself into Steve’s chest and never leave.

This ravenous greed dulled with Steve nearby, soothed with Steve happy and content, but Billy knew he had to be patient. Steve sometimes retreated inside himself, behaving as if Billy were already one step out the door. He had no idea what power he wielded over Billy.

He eased Steve’s slippers onto his feet and returned the tennis ball to the freezer. He put some of the dishes and pans from the drying rack back in the cabinets. He straightened the rug underneath the coffee table. Tidying. As self-sufficient as Steve lived, Billy had picked up quickly enough that his outward affections were done through actions.

He liked making dinner with Billy at home. He even coerced Billy into the first grocery store he’d stepped into in years.

Steve enjoyed pulling Billy onto his chest to watch a movie. Billy liked that too, even though he wished Steve didn’t stuff his utility invoices into the kitchen utensil drawer before Billy arrived.

They were both strong personalities who valued control, but Billy had learned such a thing came in different mediums. Steve didn’t like the leash of money. “Don’t collar me in diamonds. I’m not a poodle,” he’d once said.

Billy did not take kindly to commands. To exist like a bull guided by the ring in his nose.

Yet here they both were, Steve slowly allowing Billy to furnish his interests, and kissing Billy’s cheek when he reluctantly accepted the task of chopping onions.

Billy sat on the bed and rubbed his arm. If anything, Steve only fell deeper inside his slumber. Slowly, Billy lifted him out by planting kisses along his hairline. All at once, Steve emerged with a shake of his head, as if to swat Billy off before the chuckle in his chest made Steve moan, “Bhh…lly?”

He slanted his arm across Steve’s body, pressing his hand into the bed. “Hi, baby. I’m heading out. I should be back next Friday.”

Steve’s full, parted lips twitched with a puzzled grimace. “Huh?”

“I’m going out of town.”

One of Steve’s eyelids hung lower over his groggy eyes. Billy thought it looked cute. “You wait till I’m half-asleep to tell me?”

Billy huffed a laugh, but it faded quickly. “I told you during dinner. I asked you to come, but you said you couldn’t get the vacation days.”

Steve’s eyes sagged closed in a long blink. He sniffed loudly and rubbed a palm over his nose while he shifted for better attentiveness. “I can’t get vacation days with only a twenty-four hour notice.”

“There was something about sick days from two jobs not aligning for an extended vacation,” Billy recalled stiffly.

Steve did not respond well to the bitterness. “I’m not my own boss. If I’d had more time, I could’ve done a long weekend—”

“I’ll be gone for two weeks.”

That left Steve’s mouth open while he shifted to sit up more on the pillows. “You didn’t say that during dinner.”

It should’ve been some consolation, Steve’s being upset at such a time frame. Two weeks apart was hardly unbearable. For regular people. For Billy, it only confirmed his distaste for Steve’s unrelenting schedule.

“Now you want to go?”

Steve’s eyes hardened as much as they could for being freshly disturbed from sleep. “It was never about not wanting to go. I literally can’t without being thrown off the payroll.”

“You work two jobs.”

Steve’s eyes wandered, as if searching for his meaning. “Yeah?”

Billy didn’t want to talk about this the night before he left but his frustration won out. “You don’t have to work two jobs. You know that, don’t you?”

He could see something wilt behind Steve’s face. “What are you saying?”

“You know what I’m saying.”

“No. I don’t.”

“Steve,” he sighed, lifting off his hand to sit on his own. “You know I don’t mind paying for things.”

“You’ve made that clear,” Steve returned stiffly.

Billy pointed turquoise eyes at him. “Money is meant to be spent. Why won’t you let me spend it on you?”

Those eyes locked on the muscles in Steve’s jaw clenching. Steve could feel those irises on him, dissecting him. He wondered if Billy saw his mother’s closet. More like a bank vault. Full of insurances for the day she finally saw fit to drop her husband and all of his betrayals, all of his business blunders that she was tired of dishing a sapphire out for to cover the losses.

An ironic thing, Mr. Harrington’s greatest business scheme: apologizing with luxurious things. Marrying a woman smarter than himself. Maybe that’s why Steve had sought out Nancy all those years ago. Why he loved Robin’s company and conversation. He did feel safe in strong women’s company. But their safety was hard earned and shrewdly won.

Respect how a woman spends her money, Stevie. Even if you don’t know where it comes from.

Sweetheart, you’ll never understand what it is to be a woman in a man’s world.

I love your daddy as much as he infuriates me beyond belief. But where I come from, nobody is handsome enough. Nobody is wealthy enough. A Rolex is a man’s prideful status symbol. A woman’s bags are her divorce lawyer’s payments. A man’s car is the steed to a shining knight. A woman’s diamond necklace is her first apartment out of an unsafe home.

Am I really just a trust fund kid? Steve had been brazen enough to ask. Another diamond in his mother’s closet.

She had stroked his cheek, raked her fingers through his hair and around his ear before pinching his earlobe in that way she did. Like she wanted him to keep looking right at her. Don’t turn your head.

Anyone who treats you like a trust fund for money or a good time is plastic, baby.

She hadn’t taught him how to navigate this, though. Maybe if he’d been a daughter, he’d have gotten that lesson. How to not be ensnared by money. How to keep wealth as a key to a cage.

But Steve only knew the cage. Had grown up in it. Had to face heartbreak and loneliness to break out of his gilded bars.

He did not judge his mother for relying on his father. As she’d said, she came from a different world with a different mentality. But Steve couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t meet all of his father’s caveats. Had too much fun being broke with Robin to desire gilded masks and grey grey grey grey grey suits.

A warm hand touched his arm. “I don’t like it when you do that,” Billy said. “Go somewhere I can’t reach.”

Steve’s hand overlapped his. He hoped it came across as encouraging instead of farewell. “Get your work done. There’s no point in me taking a vacation if you’re working the whole time.”

It didn’t work. Billy’s features stiffened, far from pleased.

And when he left the apartment, Steve felt his path like a negative space dug out of his home. Billy Hargrove had always dominated a room, but Steve was afraid of being wrung out before he left with permanence. Steve didn’t think Billy was a cage at all.

But he didn’t think he was strong enough to be a diamond in Billy’s closet.

[passivenovember]

Laughing Stock

Mrs. Jacobson changes their whole world with a pink sticky note and it's almost poetic.

Billy finds it on Friday, a little pastel tombstone wedged between an empty yogurt tube and the head of Dawn's favorite Barbie Doll in her Myth Busters lunch box.

She's having trouble making friends. 

It's solemn in tone, like a smoke signal. A warning scribbled in shades of green.

Breaking news: Area Kid Prefers Goosebumps Over the Mystery of Multiplication Tables, the Stress of Socializing, or Conforming to the Standard Everyone Else Has Put in Front of Her. More on this at seven.

The color of that afternoon, the muted pinks and greens of steely skies dipped pastel criticism, reminds Billy of Easter. Of baby Jesus and betrayals. Good intentions that try to take over the world. 

She's having trouble making friends.

Billy reads the sentence twice. First out of necessity, again out of annoyance, feeling more and more like he should've seen this coming. Through the large kitchen window of the sink Dawn builds mud pies on a spool of fresh grass. Armed with sticks and funky painted rocks, she carries a threadbare toy rabbit and the weight of seven other people.

Imaginary friends.

Only friends.

On toward adventure. Steve appears in the reflection of the window and Billy hands him the sticky note.

"It's my fuckin' fault." Billy says, to no one in particular.

Dawn's lady-bug roller skates tromp through the grass, tearing narrow clumps in the soil as she locates the perfect spot for her third mud pie. The trainer skates were an early birthday present from Joyce, hand painted with little metal antennae welded on, courtesy of grandpa Hop.

Billy doesn't want her to wear the wheels down before the big surprise next week, but.

The skates are perfect.

Cute and adventurous, just like Dawn, and every time Billy sees her racing around the house while Steve complains about their security deposit, he's reminded of the love that colors every afternoon.

Dawn parks herself in front of an old tree stump as something is disclosed to Hopper the rabbit. Secrets, plans. The window is closed so Billy can't hear what she's saying, exactly, but he chokes on something sharp. 

And wet.

Anyway.

Steve runs his fingers through Billy's hair. "What's wrong, baby?"

Hopper the rabbit is thrown onto the stump, discarded, as Dawn sorts through her pockets for leaves and animal bones.

Billy gestures to the window, like, "Our kid's a goddamn freak."

"Billy."

"She carries around bags of animal bones."

For lack of anything better to do, Steve reads the sticky note once more before finally shrugging his shoulders. “She’s playing.”

Dawn begins separating her skeletons into piles.

“Where’d she even get them?”

”The woods. Uncle Dustin, maybe?”

Billy shakes his head. “It’s fuckin’ weird.”

"She's just being herself, Bills, aren't we encourage that kind of bullshit?" Steve manhandles Billy around the edge of the countertop until brown eyes draw firm conclusions. "This whole thing isn't fair. Not right of you to blame yourself. Not fair to say those things about her."

Billy fights back anyway. "Mrs. Jacobson said--"

A haughty, irritated puff of air forces clouds to move away from the sun. "Who gives a shit what Mrs. Jacobson said?"

"I do. It's important that Dawn makes friends with other kids her age, Steve."

Through the window she buries a rock in the ground, using tree bark to build a cemetery, and. 

Billy's. Trying not to get upset. 

He bites harshly on the ridge of his tongue, fending off heavy, obnoxious tears. "She doesn't even try to like the other kids her age."

Steve snorts. "What's to like?"

"Steve--"

"No, I'm serious."

"They could get her into. Y'know." Billy thinks about it, turning to put on the kettle. "Baby dolls, little pink dresses, glittery stickers, you know."

Steve grits his teeth. "Girl shit?"

"No, Steve." Billy rubs at the bridge of his nose. "Not girl shit."

"Well, she's into mud. And science. And dead animals, because Dawn likes to know the way things work." Steve slides onto the counter next to the oven, poking at the grip of the kettle with forced interest. "Science. Boy stuff. That's what Dawn likes."

And Billy.

Doesn't like there this is going. He folds his arms. "Maybe she could learn to like other stuff."

"So you agree?" 

And. "What?"

"You want down to enjoy girl stuff."

"Yes. No, fuck." Billy squeezes his eyes shut. Opens them again to find his husband sat next to an open flame, shoulders stapling themselves to his ears and just. Hanging there. 

Billy tries again. "I want her to be into normal stuff. Five year old stuff."

"Other five year old's are interested in whether each playdough tube has a unique flavor," Steve counters, tossing Mrs. Jacobson's concern into the recycling bin without a second thought. "Dawn's beyond, like. Way beyond everyone else her age."

And Billy gets it, alright? 

Because their daughter is kick ass. She's everything Billy wished he could've been at her age--adventurous. Kind. Open hearted. Brave. Smart. He fills two mugs with water, also thinking about how hard it was to be.

Different.

When he was going up. Billy knows, like. He and Dawn are unique in different ways, targeted for different reasons, but. 

Still.

"You don't think we should be worried about this."

Because He is. And he will be. Forever.

Steve shakes his head, lost. "Worried about her not making friends?"

"It wasn't always. Easy. For me."

"I know, baby."

"And with us. After, like. Neil and the party and Dawn having to explain the two dads thing. One who sleeps with a nail studded, bat. And." Billy swallows thickly. "The other, who couldn't stay dead."

He opens a bag of sugar. 

Forces himself to go slow with each movement, as if studying for an exam. 

Steve lets out another fertile pass of air. "Kids are little bags of shit."

"You don't mean that."

"Of course I do. They pick each other apart for no reason at all, if it wasn't the bones and the gay dad thing it'd be something else. Her hair cut or her shoes."

"What's wrong with her shoes?" Billy demands, but.

Steve rolls his eyes, almost. Fondly. "Nothing, but since when have I had a clue what the kids are into these days?" Steve asks, reaching for Billy and taking the hint when Billy recoils, as if bitten by a snake. He offers a kind, easy smile. "She has us."

Billy stirs their coffee. "That's not the compliment you think it is."

"What's so crazy about us?" Steve wonders, eyes going wide and watery, just. Adorable. His tongue pokes out with his grin. "Besides the whole, y'know. Living corpse and baseball bat situation."

Billy opens his mouth to respond when the back door slams open. 

The kitchen is a flurry of activity. 

In the last ten minutes it's started raining and Dawn is covered from head to roller skate in mud. 

Her pigtails are lopsided, caked with mounds of Earth and grass as Billy lunges forward with a tea towel in hand. He's learned what kinds of questions to ask if he wants the full story. Steve helps their daughter to the bathroom Billy figures out the basics. 

Chasing worms.

Wiggly, quickie worms who burrow too fast beneath beds of roses. 

Dawn was trying to see if they could burrow all the way to the center of the Earth. 

[barbarasbae]

Even in Hawkins- Nerves

Part 15 of Even in Hawkins 

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: hospitals, call back/mentions of miscarraige, healing, Neil makes an appearance, complicated feelings are had ( they’re starting to figure their dynamics out)

Hi welcome to the literal 8th version of this chapter that I’ve written in the past...4 months? Finally finally happy with the final product. 

Billy was in the hospital for 5 more days, Max and Steve helping him practice walking. Y/n would help, but Max felt she needed to do it and Steve was stronger than Y/n, so it was probably for the best. “You’re doing great, Billy.” She called, the group turning around. His face was pink. “Do you need to slow down?” Max asked, concerned. “M’ fine.” He walked back to the room, Max trading her spot with Y/n. “Oof! Forgot how heavy you are.” She teased, Billy nipping her ear. She giggled, nudging him back. They helped him back in bed, the nurse on duty coming in to check on his stitches. Steve squeezed Y/n’s shoulder, bumping his nose against her ear. “You okay?”

“Yeah..just..nervous.” She admitted. “Why?”

“Just about..stuff. Like stitches and stairs.” She sat next to Billy, looking at the clock. Visiting hours were almost over. “Can you stay tonight?” Billy asked quietly, looking at his lap. “Sure. Something wrong?”

He shrugged, a mild pout on his face. She leaned in, Max and Steve starting to chatter about something. “It’s okay to be nervous.” She promised in a whisper, pressing her cheek against his, feeling heat flood his cheeks at the contact. “You embarrassed, silly?”

He grumbled, Y/n smiling. “Hey, do you think you two could give us a moment alone?” Y/n asked Max and Steve, nudging Billy. Both looking reluctant. “I’m really hungry actually. Could you go get me a sandwich or something?” Billy asked, taking the hint. The pair walked out, Steve looking a little flushed. Billy reached over, grabbing her closest hand.  Y/n rested her chin on his shoulder, poking his cheek with her nose. She felt the alpha let out a shuddering breath, laying back into the pillows. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re okay.” He whimpered, turning his head. “I can’t-all those people. How can I just go home and act like nothing happened?” He asked in a whisper. Y/n was quiet. How can you? 

“I don’t know, B. I guess you’ll just have to try to live your best or something like that?” That made his mouth quirk in a little smile. “Or something.” His voice was small. Y/n found Billy was turning more and more inward, getting quieter and quieter. Very similar to how he was when he first woke up. This wouldn’t do, of course. The omega in Y/n was practically screaming for her to fix it. 

“Bill?”

“Hm?”

“Love you.” She told him softly, the blond giving her a brilliant smile. “Love you too.” She leaned back into him, Billy pulling her back into a hug, her nose pressed back into his hair. Billy pressed his nose into her scent gland, letting out a long sigh. 

“Can’t wait to scent you how I actually want to.” She murmured, feeling the tip of Billy’s nose rubbing along the curve of her neck and became extremely aware that the doctor was coming into the room. She pulled back gently. “No-” He whined, following her. 

“As much as I’m enjoying it, we have an audience.” She cooed, kissing him and helping him lay down. She sat next to him in a chair, a nurse walking over to check his vitals. Billy grabbed for her hand, the heart monitor speeding up. Y/n rubbed the inside of his palm, not wanting Billy to strain against his IV. 

“Hey William. How are you feeling today?” He shrugged. “Well, that’s better than a grunt I suppose.” The nurse took his temperature, Dr. Owens flipping through the file. “You walked earlier today?” 

“Yeah.”

“Good. I figured we’d discuss some of what you’ll need to do during recovery so check out on Friday can go faster.”

“I get to go home?” Dr. Owens nodded. “I have a list I’ll hand off to you but for now I’ll read you the most important ones. No getting stitches wet for at least another three weeks. You have to quit smoking. We can’t risk it with your weak lungs. No lifting anything heavy for at least 8 weeks and no driving heavy machinery for another 2. I want you to come see me once a week for therapy and at least another session once a week for physical therapy after your 8 weeks is up.” 

“Okay.” Billy’s voice was small. “This isn’t necessary, but I am going to recommend cutting your hair. 

“Doc, you gotta leave me with something.”

“Unless you have someone do it for you, because you strike me as someone who takes care of it, I recommend cutting it so you don’t have to worry about lifting your arms above your shoulder. Easy way to rip stitches.” Billy was getting upset. “We’ll figure something out.” Y/n promised, trying to reassure him. “Sandra here will tell you how to take care of your stitches. I’ll see you in the morning. Call if you need anything.”

“Would it be alright for me to stay here overnight?” The nurse nodded, going to get a special form for her. Steve and Max finally came back, passing out sandwiches. “You need me to get you anything?” The other omega asked before leaning his weight on the bed, eyes darting back and forth between the couple in front of him. “I think I’m okay for now. I’ll just go home in the morning for new clothes and stuff probably. You need anything, B?”

 “I’m good.” Steve handed Billy his sandwich, looking pleased with himself when the alpha took a bite. “Would it be alright if I hug you before I leave?” Steve asked, more so looking at Y/n then he was Billy. “Yeah. That would be nice.” The blond smiled. The older omega squeezed in tight, the slight scenting not going unnoticed by Y/n. “I feel like I need a hug as well.” She teased, scenting Steve as well, a little chirp escaping her at the wonderfully safe, warm and familiar scent of Steve. “Well now I’m a little jealous.” Billy teased, the omegas laughing. “Ready Max?”

“I don’t wanna goooo.” She whined, dragging herself over to the cot. “Love you Billy.” She mumbled, embracing him in a way that was less a hug and more max wilting into him. “Love you too, shitbird.” She stuck her tongue out, Steve having to drag her away. 

Y/n turned the tv on, the pair inhaling turkey sandwiches from the cafeteria. 

She felt Billy’s eyes on her, the omega leaning closer. “Penny for your thoughts?” 

“Did you ever go to the hospital after, you know?” 

“What?”

“The baby?” Billy whispered and suddenly the only noise in the room was the tv. “Oh.”

“...”

“Yeah, I did. That’s the only reason I knew it was...a miscarraige.” She told him softly, the alpha reaching for her hand. “I could have gone with you.” She shook her head. “It was just me and my mom. I was so scared, I wasn’t even thinking about trying to tell anyone else.” 

“I’m sorry.” He squeezed her hand, Y/n wiping at her face. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“No I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie, Y/n.”

“I’m not. Promise,”

She slept curled in the recliner, waking up every time a nurse came to check on Billy.  Everyone continued to visit him throughout the week, the alpha forgetting to mention his impending release coming up. 

The morning of Billy’s last day in the hospital, Billy received a 5 page pamphlet of instructions as well as a non-disclosure agreement. Dr. Owens mentioned he should be getting a check in the mail in a few weeks and that he needed to come back Tuesday for his first physical therapy appointment. Then he was free to go. 

“Well, first day free. What do you want to do?” She asked the blond as they got on the road. “I want a burger.” 

“Okay, greasy burger coming up. It okay if we make a few more stops after?” He nodded, playing with one of the strings on his hoodie. 

 She pulled into the video store parking lot, Billy following behind her, tugging his sleeves down. She reached for his hand, the blond eagerly taking it. “Y/n?” Steve called from the counter, Robin flipping through a comic book. They came over. “Holy shit. Billy! Hey man!” He came around the counter and hugged the alpha, Billy hugging back tightly. Steve tried to be subtle about scenting him but failed pretty spectacularly, causing the other omega to laugh. Steve smiled sheepishly, blushing when Billy buried his face in Steve’s neck. “You’re not the only ones here, dinguses.” Robin chided, Steve yanking away. “I think I should get a hug too.” Y/n teased, Steve throwing his arms around her. “This okay?” He asked quietly, nosing at her scent gland.  “Oh-uh. y-yeah. Yeah it’s okay.” She hugged back tightly. “So what brings you here?”

“Movies.”

“Oh, right.” Steve laughed, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. He hopped back over the counter, Robin rolling her eyes. Billy meandered, grabbing a couple movies. “Okay, that’s gonna be $4.79.” Steve chirped, smiling up at Billy. Y/n handed off a 5. “I don’t want any change.”

“Hold on.” He grabbed a couple candy bars. “$5 solid.” 

“Thanks, Stevie.” Billy piped up, reaching for Y/n’s hand. “No problem.”

“Steven, you’re drooling.” Robin sighed, closing the comic. “I am not!” 

Y/n smiled. “Wanna come over for movies tomorrow?” 

“Oh, sure.”

“Cool. It’s a date.” Y/n winked, Steve turning pink. “Later, pretty boy.” Billy threw in a wink of his own, Robin cackling as they turned to leave. “Dingus, get off the floor.” Y/n and Billy giggled, the former pulling the blond alpha outside. After getting snacks, Y/n started toward his house to let Billy rest. They pulled into his driveway, Billy looking tense. “Want me to walk you to the door?” He shook his head. “It’s okay. I’ll call you after dinner if I can come over?” She nodded. “Love you, B.” She leaned over, nuzzling the alpha’s scent gland. He let out an involuntary purr. “Okay, get off of me. Won’t ever get home.” He teased, kissing her forehead. She waved as he walked up the pavement, driving off. 

Max opened the door after he knocked on it, stunned. “B-billy?!” 

“Hi Max.” 

She threw her arms around him, crying. He put the box down and hugged her back, Max not letting him go for a good 5 minutes. Neil watched them, not saying anything yet. Susan pulled him into a tight hug, saying she had been so worried about him. Max followed him into his room, asking question after question. “Maxine! Let him breathe.” Neil called. “It’s okay.” Billy said to her. She nodded and scooted into her room, Billy laying down on his bed. Neil came in, Billy sitting up in a panic. “Come to the kitchen.” He did, cautious. His body still hurt so much, he wasn’t ready for what pain might be coming. Susan set a plate of food in front of him. Neil pat his shoulder (a little too hard, mind you), squeezing in a way that made Billy straighten his spine in response. “We were so worried, Billy.” Neil said, voice...quiet? 

Susan nodded. “What did the doctors say?”

“Oh, I don’t remember everything but I have some instructions. I have to do some physical therapy and they had to do surgery on my lungs. Ma’am.” 

“MAXINE!”

“WHAT?!” 

“GET YOUR BROTHERS PAPERS FROM THE HOSPITAL.” 

She brought them in, Billy slowly eating the soup in front of him. Billy saw his father’s eyes go wide. “Don’t worry. The guys who own the mall are paying for everything. They don’t want us to sue them.” He repeated the lie Dr. Owens had instructed him to tell. Neil patted him on the shoulder. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay. And if they don’t pay for all of it I’m gonna sue them for all their worth.” Billy nodded. And then he was left alone. Well, sorta. Susan wouldn’t stop staring at him as he walked from the kitchen to the bathroom to his bedroom. He flipped through the pages Dr. Owens had given, grimacing at the appointment list. He was just tired. And the thought of having to do all that was exhausting. “Billy?”

“Hm?”

“I-mom got you something.” He got up, grunting. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” She had a phone in her hands. “They said I can connect it for you in here, if you want?”

“Sure, Max.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Or not…”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just tired.” She nodded. “Can I put it here?” He nodded, laying back down. “Thanks, Max.” 

“Call your girlfriend.” She poked his arm. He smiled. “You’re not gonna be using this to call you know who lets get that straight now.” She huffed but didn’t yell at him. He called Y/n after his door was shut. 

“Hey baby.” He smiled, speaking to her softly. “Hi. Do you wanna come over?”

“Can I bring Max?”

“Sure. What time?”

“I don’t care. Now?”

“See you in twenty.” 

They watched back to the future in Y/n’s room, Billy having an arm around each girl. Max only lasted about ten minutes before she complained his arm was heavy. Y/n played with his hair, kissing his cheek every once and awhile. She missed him like hell. And she fell asleep during the movie like 40 minutes in. “Baby, you’re missing it.” He cooed, her resting on his shoulder. She blinked awake, nudging his nose with hers. “I’m probably not gonna make it through the movie.” She said, putting her hand on his chest. Max had moved so she was resting on her elbows towards the end of the bed, kicking her feet. Y/n turned on her side, hiding her face in Billy’s neck, the alpha rubbing his cheek on top of her head.  

“Isn’t Marty kinda hot, Y/n? Y/n?” Max turned her head to see her older brother and his girlfriend asleep. She groaned and got up. “Gross.” She actually thought they were really cute but she would never admit that out loud. She decided to venture downstairs, Y/n’s mom in the kitchen. “Hey sweetie. Who are you?”

“Max Mayfield. I’m Billy’s sister.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too. Do you have any ice cream?” Y/n’s mom let her take it upstairs, Max grimacing at the site of Billy drooling on his girlfriend. 

Max bounced as she sat, waking Y/n up. “What’s happening?”

“Want some ice cream?” 

“Sure.” The girls shared ice cream, finishing the movie. 

“Billy, you need to wake up.”

“Five more minutes…” He pleaded, rolling into the pillows. “Ah, fuck.” 

“Careful. Gotta take it easy.” She helped him sit up. “I gotta take you home.”

“Don’t wanna leave.” He whined, pushing his face into her chest. “Billy I’m tired.” Max whined, sugar crash hitting her hard. “You need to go get sleep before our date tomorrow.” Y/n whispered, Billy smiling. “Fine, fine. I’m getting up.” He grumbled, Y/n driving a sleepy Max and Billy home, stomach in knots at the prospect of their movie date tomorrow with Steve. 

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[cockasinthebird]

As the night goes by peacefully outside - the town of Hawkins, Indiana, sleeping to the lullaby played by an orchestra of crickets - colorful lights still shines through the windows to the living room of Steve Harrington's giant home.

A week ago Dustin had come knocking at his door, NES under one arm, asking if he could borrow the TV, because his mom had settled down to stare at some Marathon for one of her soaps on their own box at home, and this really cool game called Street Fighter had just been released! And he just has to play it! Now Steve! Pretty please?

Although reluctant, Steve had of course said yes and let Dustin do his thing; setting up the gaming console and then landing on the couch, begging Steve to play with him.

It's a fighting game, and Steve is fucking horrible at it, but Dustin is beaming, smiling and laughing and being wildly impressed with the advanced technology of it all!

The day after he showed up with the rest of the gang once they got off from school, and once again commandeered the TV. And the next day, and the next, and the next. From they got off from school till they had to go home to sleep. The NES now living here.

But Steve didn't complain even once past the first day the entire party had shown up. Because now there's life in his house again. Laughing and talking and enjoying each others company for most of the day. He'd come home from work at the video store and quickly clean up before the kids arrived, sometimes he'd even have brought home snacks and soda on his way if there was time. And when they all got hungry they ordered pizza.

This is what family must feel like, he'd think as he'd lie in bed at night.

Family.

And tonight is no different. Well, it kinda is.

Dustin had had a fight with his friends about girls, of all things, and he had already been allowed to sleep over at Mike's place, so rather than going home to be sad in bed, he had biked his way the long and dark path up to the Harrington mansion.

He now sits with his controller clutched tightly, eyes piercing the screen, brows knit together in intense frustration as he loses another fucking game.

7th in a row.

At the other end of the couch, controller in his hands, relaxed and grinning like the shithead he is, sits Billy.

Who would ever have thought that Billy fucking Hargrove would turn out to be a fucking BEAST at a fighting game. Almost as if he's driven by instinct.

At one point through the night Steve had pulled him into the kitchen and asked him to give Dustin a fucking break and let him win! Poor kid had shown up so upset, and shocked to find Billy here.

Although they all know the two of them are dating, it's still weird to witness.

"No can do, baby," Billy had drawled out with a lick of his teeth, pushed Steve against the fridge and leaned in to whisper, "You know how much I hate losing."

8th game starts.

Dustin hasn't blinked or moved in all too long, it cannot be humanly possible for him to still be alive, sitting like a statue on the floor in front of the big screen.

This is a close game, both of them down near the bottom of their health bars, Billy barely putting in any effort where he slumps into the seat.

Steve looks at Dustin, whose eyes must be as dry as the fucking desert right now, too worried about losing to even dare blink and miss anything.

Then he looks to Billy, fingers moving expertly, tongue caught between teeth as he grins, fitting well into the role of a shitty older brother that he's so used to.

And Steve knows what to do, how to save his “brother” from going insane, and crawls over to where Billy sits.

"What's up, Stevie-"

Lips catch the last syllable of his name, as Stevie presses a kiss just below that tickling mustache.

Billy drops the controller near immediately, surrendering to the dear and warm touch, just to then reach up and cup Steve's face to keep him in place, as he kisses back. It's nice and soft and Billy melts into it all too easily, eyes closed and pressing into their meeting.

When Dustin cheers loudly and abruptly, "Yes! I fucking got you! Finally-" then gags just as loud, as he turns to brag only to catch the two of them locking lips.

"That's disgusting! I'm gonna throw up my pizza!"

Billy slowly raises a middle finger pointed directly at where Dustin pretends to vomit all over the floor.

"Why don't you just go home then and leave me and the princess here alon- ow!"

Steve yanks at Billy's perfect curls. "Hey if you can't play nice with him, then you can go home!" he says but with little severity, because tonight neither of these two wants to leave.

"Fine," Billy grumbles and scratches the spot where his hair got pulled.

Then looks down at Dustin who's smiling like he just got away with everything.

And Billy fights the urge to groan and roll his eyes, as he asks, "Truce?"

"No fucking way," the response is immediate, "I'm gonna kick your ass."

[mourntheantagonist]

Chapter 5

Read on AO3

1988: P.I.R. Day 1

“Bill, it’s raining.”

Billy looks over to his boyfriend who sits in the passenger seat with a pout on his face. The rain is coming down as barely even a sprinkle. More like a mist. Windshield wipers only useful every five minute.

“Someone’s observant.”

Steve scoffs and crosses his arms. He’s been in a mood since they got up this morning. Steve was all packed and ready for a long weekend trip only to find out that the track was only a whopping ten minute drive from their house.

“Where else did you think the Portland International Raceway was located?”

Steve just dropped his duffle to the ground and walked out the front door and jumped into the Camaro. Leaving the cup of coffee Billy had poured him sitting on the counter to grow cold.

Billy knew not to look too much into things like this with Steve. He was by no means a morning person and even though the droplets were small, rain always put him in a bad mood.

It reminded him too much of Hawkins. Not memories of good days out with friends or at parties getting shitfaced. It reminded him of the days spent inside by himself as he watched raindrops drip on the window pane. Alone in his huge house. Nothing to do but stare at the puddles forming in potholes and being heavily reminded of his loneliness.

Rain put him in a bad mood. It really didn’t help that they lived in the Pacific Northwest, where rain was almost an everyday thing. But today it was a little more than just the rain. It was that Billy would be racing in the rain. Steve didn’t like that at all.

Billy oh so regrets telling Steve about the guy who spun out and crashed into a wall just two races ago. Because of the rain he hydroplaned and couldn’t stop himself. But Steve won’t listen to the rest of the story. Won’t listen to the fact that the guy has a history of pulling shit like this. Doesn’t take the road conditions into account ever. And he was fine! The car barely even sustained enough damage to warrant repair. Just a dent that was easily pulled out and a couple chips off the paint.

Steve wants nothing more than for Billy to turn the car right around. Drive out to Peet’s and fuel him with some caffeine, considering he’d abandoned the one at home in an attempt to make a point to Billy.

But he’s not going to ask him to do that. But he’s definitely not going to let Billy think he’s okay with what he’s doing.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll go slow.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “For you, slow is five over.”

“I’ll turn around if you’re really that upset about it.”

Steve wants to scream ‘Yes! Please turn around’, but he doesn’t want to be the reason for that. Doesn’t want to be the wall standing in between Billy doing what he wants to do. He wants Billy to put up those walls himself, for himself. Value his own safety and livelihood just a little bit.

Was Steve being overdramatic? Probably. But cut him some slack. It’s eight in the morning, rain is coming down, Billy refuses to run the heat in the car, and he’s tired. Should have just drank the damn coffee.

They pull into the venue and it is absolutely nothing like the last race. Trees are replaced by buildings. The hum of traffic on the interstate is deafening. They are unmistakably still smack dab in the middle of the city, and not in Nowheresville, Washington. There’s people standing around engaged in conversation. Easily able to differentiate between locals and tourists by whether or not they’re standing under the canopy. True Oregonians don’t even own umbrellas.

Sure, they’re technically locals, but Steve still rushed from the safety of the car to one of the covered areas, pulling his flannel up and over his head. Have to protect the hair.

Billy followed shortly after, Steve’s raincoat in hand because Billy remembered to grab it. Steve always forgets. Steve begrudgingly takes it from Billy’s hands and puts it on. It’s hard to stay mad at someone when they keep being so considerate. But Steve does have a special talent for that.

“Come on you big fucking baby, let’s go get you some coffee. They’re selling some at concessions.”

Steve’s head jerks around quick enough to cause minor whiplash.

“Wait, there's concessions?”

“Yes. Not every race is just a bunch of dudes in a parking lot.”

“Is there food?”

Billy just huffs out a laugh and pulls Steve by the collar of his jacket out into the rain and towards the little concession stand by the bleachers. If there’s one way to get Steve out of a bad mood, it’s directly through his stomach.

Billy bought him a cup of coffee with extra creamer – he was still working on that – and a croissant. Steve didn’t need to know that they weren’t freshly made and came directly out of a Costco container. As his stomach filled and his body warmed up from the hot drink in his hand, his bad mood started to fade. And just like Steve, the earth had a mood change as well. Clouds parting, letting in a glimpse of sun as the rain halted.

“Look Steve, no more rain.”

“The ground is still wet.”

Billy just dramatically threw his hands in the air. “Barely!” He exclaimed. “Just relax and finish your croissant. I’m gonna go register.”

Steve nods and watches Billy walk away, leaving him there by himself. Coffee in one hand, half of a croissant in the other. Left to his own thoughts. His weird intrusive thoughts. Like if someone were to push him over, which would he save? The coffee or the croissant? He should just finish the croissant so he doesn’t have to ponder that question. He never liked the trolley problem.

He looks to the sky, watching the clouds continue to part revealing bright blue skies and the bright sun overhead. It was nice, but they lived here long enough to know not to hold their breath. Portland rain was indecisive. It would be pouring buckets one minute, and sunny clear skies the next.

It’s why you would never catch a local with an umbrella. It’s pointless unless you plan to lug it around with you all year long. It’s better to learn to accept and even appreciate damp clothes and damp hair. That last part was definitely taking Steve some time to come to grips with.

The line Billy’s in was long. And he didn’t appear to be anywhere close to the front. That’s the reason the sudden hand on his shoulder startled him. Was he actually going to have to decide which to save?

But he turns around to see Gerry. Five foot three and a hundred and ten pounds of pure bullishness. Steve would be lying through his teeth if he were to say he wasn’t absolutely terrified of the old woman.

“Good to see ya here kid. Thought you’d been scared off after the first race.”

Steve’s mouth hangs open just slightly. It’s too early for him to talk to people. Luckily he realizes he’s been just standing there like an idiot after just a few seconds.

“Oh. Uh. Yeah. I just have a crazy work schedule. This was the first time I could have the weekend off.”

“That’s good. Was startin’ to worry the two of you had broke it off. Glad to see ya didn’t.” She pats his shoulder a little hard. Not really expecting it he stumbles slightly.

He momentarily freaks at the comment. Forgetting for a second that Billy had told her. He allows himself to smile when it comes back to him. Enjoying the acceptance from the old woman. Ahead of her time. Reminding himself why he said he liked her.

“Okay. Since I have you alone, I have to ask. I have a theory and I need you to confirm it.” Steve throws her a quizzical look and takes a sip of his coffee. “What’s Hargrove like in the sack?”

Steve nearly does a spit take.

He manages to swallow the coffee in one aggressive gulp before actually bursting out into a fit of laughter.

“I’m sorry. Uh. Could you maybe elaborate? Are you asking about our... positions?”

“Oh god. No. Please don’t tell me that.”

Steve never thought he’d see that lady blush. But she was. Blushing. Cherry red all over her cheeks.

“My theory is that his little tough guy act don’t make it past the bedroom door.”

“Oh! Okay. Umm.” Steve was slightly uncomfortable. Discussing not his sex life with a woman be barely knew, but Billy’s sex life. But Steve was still hanging on to that grudge and thought, what harm is there? “He’s definitely not as aggressive, but I wouldn’t go as far to say he’s entirely submissive.”

“So he’s not a pillow princess?”

Steve raises his eyebrows and chuckles.

“Sometimes.”

Now Gerry has burst into laughter. Almost tearing up. Steve never would have thought this is the kind of conversation he’d be having at eight thirty in the morning in the middle of a parking lot surrounded by conservative men in their forties and fifties.

And then there’s someone else standing next to them. Long dirty blond hair. Unmistakably Billy.

“What are you guys laughing at?” Billy asks. Not at all amused.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, princess.” Gerry says before slapping a hand two times against his cheek and walking off without another word.

Billy looks completely dumbfounded. Steve is desperately trying to hold in another laugh.

“Did she just call me princess?”

“Hey shouldn’t we be walking the course right about now?”

Billy takes the half eaten croissant from Steve’s hand and takes a bite before handing it back.

And with a mouthful of bread he points a finger. “This conversation is not over.”

- : -

They only had the time to walk the course just once. Billy was nervous. Steve could tell. Not just because of that. But because it had started to rain again.

Steve doesn’t like seeing Billy nervous about the rain. He was already nervous enough himself when Billy was all confident with his “it’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing”’s, but if Billy’s nervous, that can’t be good.

By the time they get back to the Camaro, Billy falls into the driver seat with his legs hanging out the open door. His head in his hands breathing slightly chaotic. Something was wrong. More than just the rain.

Steve lays a tentative hand onto Billy’s thigh, but Billy quickly and swiftly slaps the hand away.

“Don’t touch me. We’re in public!”

Okay. Something was really wrong.

Because not ten minutes ago they were just fine being touchy. Sure they were very PG and platonic. But Billy seemed to be okay with it so long as it was nothing too suspicious. A hand on a thigh might seem a little too suggestive if you don’t counter in the fact that there was literally nobody near and the car door shielded the act entirely from view.

But Steve chose not to take it personally. Because something happened in that little head of his as soon as the rain started. Something Steve was not yet privy to.

“Billy. Relax. I’m gonna get in and we’re gonna talk it out, okay?”

Billy nodded his head. Breaths still shaky with a hint of anger as he tossed his legs into the vehicle and slammed his door shut. Okay maybe a little more than a hint.

Once Steve was inside he took a tight hold of Billy’s hand. Trying to calm his erratic breathing. It seems to help slightly. Enough for Billy to actually hear the words coming out of Steve’s mouth.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Billy looks at him. His eyes stone cold. “It’s fucking raining.”

“Someone’s observant.”

“Shut up.”

Steve pulls their clasped hands to where they are now resting on Steve’s thigh. Wrapping a second hand around the two so Billy’s is fully encompassed.

“That didn’t seem to bother you an hour ago. Why now?”

Billy tosses his head back against the headrest. Shutting his eyes tightly and inhaling sharply through his nose.

“You! You made me fucking nervous, Steve. I have never given the rain a second thought until you. And now I can barely remember the course, and I have to run on street tires, and it’s fucking raining! And you’re here to watch and now I’m nervous.”

Steve’s look at Billy softens. Because it makes sense. And god Steve feels awful because it was his grumpy attitude that caused all of this.

“Bills, if I thought your life was actually in danger I would have had you turn the car around when you asked. I was just in a pissy mood, okay?” Steve squeezes tighter. “I believe in you, princess.”

That pulls Billy out of his haze for just a moment. “Okay what the fuck inside joke is this?”

“If you do well today, maybe, I’ll tell you.”

“Bribery huh? Didn’t think that was your style.”

Aw. There’s the Billy he knows and unfortunately loves.

“Come on, let’s get those brand new numbers on your car.”

“Kiss me first, shithead.”

So Steve does. Leaning over the stick shift, planting a quick and wet kiss straight to Billy’s lips. Not the kiss Billy wants. But that’s all Steve’s going to give.

- : -

To both of their surprise, Billy doesn’t spin. Actually, he’s one of the only drivers who didn’t spin.

And fortunately, nobody crashed today. Not even Dwight.

Steve didn’t ride with Billy today. Not wanting to add to the stress. Even if it wasn’t a timed run.

And Billy came in first. Even if he drove slower than his liking. All of the DNF’s, missed gates, and hit cones playing in his own favor. And shit, Steve owes him some information, and maybe a better kiss.

The second run group was on course straight away, giving Billy and him absolutely zero time to even speak before Billy was being summoned to his work assignment. So Steve just parked himself at one of the picnic tables in the covered area. Ignoring the fact that his boyfriend was putting himself in front of reckless drivers on wet pavement. Shoving down the thought of “what could go wrong” as far as it would fucking go.

No. No. No. The only car Billy would be going home in would be the Camaro. Not an ambulance.

The sounds of screeching tires against wet asphalt did not cure the thought. Painstakingly resisting every urge to turn his head every time he heard so much as an “ooh” from an onlooker.

He sat there. Sipping on his now lukewarm coffee and searching the wooden planks of the picnic table for hidden shapes. Just like he would with the clouds if they weren’t just one gray blob.

And time manages to pass by quickly with just that to occupy his time. He hears the engines shut off and the announcer call something over the loudspeaker. He doesn’t know what, but the tone of his voice made it sound like a finale.

He’s tossing his nearly empty coffee cup in the garbage can when Billy comes up from behind him.

“Hey, before we go, wanna feel like you’re in high school again?” Billy asks, discreetly pulling at his sleeve.

“Why on earth would I want to do that?”

“Just trust me.”

Steve gives him a weird look but follows Billy under the bleachers that face the real racetrack. The one people actually come here for. Not a parking lot.

You can barely see anything but rusted metal from where they’re standing. Steve pieces it together fairly quickly.

“You bring me under here to kill me?”

“Just shut up and fucking kiss me.”

Billy was right. It totally does feel like high school. The good parts. Sneaking girls under the bleachers on the football field. But this felt ten times better. Because it was Billy. Not just some girl he only got with to prove something to Tommy H.

It’s like they were in their own little corner of the world. Perfectly concealed and able to love one another publicly but privately at the same time.

Steve’s tugging at Billy’s hair and Billy’s tugging at his. He’d be upset if it hadn’t already been messed up by the rain earlier.

Their hands are moving haphazardly but their lips and tongues have found a rhythm. Slowly interlocking and fulfilling their every need.

“God I love you.” Steve breathes against Billy’s mouth.

“Tell me what princess means.”

Steve had nearly forgotten.

“Something relating to your pillow.”

Billy stalls for a second before completely stepping away from Steve.

“You did not tell her that.”

Steve doesn’t respond. Just raises his eyebrows and stands his ground. The look says I sure did.

“I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.”

And Billy just moves back in, pulling him by the collar, and kisses him. Inhaling sharply. Breathing in all that is Steve.

“You know you love it when I just lay there.”

“Yeah. I do.”

[yikesharringrove]

I don't want to add continue to overwhelm you but I just had an idea that I thought you would love. How about a secretly smart Steve story where he isn't as dumb as most people think he is. He comes across that way in due to insecurities from his dad never being happy with his solid B average and struggles with a language barrier from only getting to learn English a lot later than his peers. More Italian Steve for you.

(I’m bilingual so I based this on the way my brain scrambles shit up)

When Steve was a baby his mother went out of her way to make sure he knew his heritage.

She would hire nannies from the city, immigrant women with clear instruction to only speak Italian to her little son. She herself would only speak Italian to him, around him. Even convinced her husband to go with it. He knew Italian, could speak it, just never did if he didn’t have to.

As Steve grew, his mother hired Italian tutors to come to their home every Sunday, made sure he knew the grammar rules and could read and write it, not just speak it.

Steve was a chatterbox, but when he got to kindergarten, he had to learn English.

I took him a long tie to learn to read. The only pronunciations of the alphabet he had ever heard were in Italian, the letters accented much differently than in English.

He had a thick accent for a long time, and would sometimes pronounce things with his Italian tongue, even after he had worked to drop the accent.

By the time he hit high school, he was an okay student, got a straight B-average, a couple of Cs, but a couple of As too. The problem was that his brain was wired in Italian. His thoughts were in Italian, nearly everything he said  had to be translated in and out. He would forget what words meant, get tripped up and forget the word in one language, or blank entirely on both. There were some words that were so ingrained into him in Italian that that’s just what he used, would only refer to cars as macchine because of how often his nannies would scream for him to pick up his little toy cars. Would lose his wallet an run through his house muttering about his portafoglio.

His dad didn’t get it, though. Sure, he was also fluent in both languages, but he had learned Italian as an adult, didn’t have to figure out a world that was based in a language you didn’t know. Steve could zip through books written in Italian, had a huge vocabulary in one language, but would get stumped up in English, would see unfamiliar words who’s definitions were even more confusing. He would look it up in an Italian-English dictionary and it would click.

When he started dating Billy, Billy would talk a lot about how sexy it was when Steve spoke Italian. He would get him to speak it while they fucked, and when Billy would say something from another room while Steve clattered about and would yell back scusi? Not even thinking about what he was saying.

But Billy could also see the frustration. When Steve got stuck on a homework assignment and would roughly page through his translation dictionary to figure out which world was halting him. When he would read books heavy with symbolism and get completely different meanings out of them.

“I’m fucking done.” Steve slammed his book shut, putting his head in his hands. He was muttering to himself in pissed off Italian.

“Stevie?” He placed his hand on Steve’s back, rubbing gently. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just over it.” His accent was much stronger when he was emotional. “I can’t do this anymore. I am tired of being, being bad at school just because I have trouble with this fucking language. I am not stupid in Italian!”

“Stevie, you’re not stupid in English, either.”

“But I just, I get confused. It’s not natural to me. I have to translate everything before I speak.” Billy slammed his own book shut.

“I am tired of you always talking so bad about yourself! You’re not fucking stupid, Steve, and I’m fucking over you saying that.” Steve’s eyes were wide. “You are smart. You know how I fucking know that? You speak two fucking languages. That’s some smart shit.”

“I, what-”

“You’re a smart fucking person. And you keep talking bad about yourself and I don’t like it. And I’m sorry for yelling, but I’m upset that you’re always so fucking mean to yourself.” He sat back down, chest heaving.

“I, um. Thanks, Bill.”

“It just, it really gets my fuckin’ goat that you think so poorly of yourself.” Steve looked down, fiddling with the front cover of his book.

“I guess I just, my dad was always yelling at me to do better.”

“Doesn’t he get that you literally have a fucking language barrier?” Steve smiled weakly.

“He says, says it’s not an excuse. That if I was smarter, I would be able to, to hand both. Like he and my mom can.”

“Okay, I’ve heard your mom speak English. Not for nothing, but sometimes she forgets words. I’ve heard her ask you for the English word of something. That’s all part of being bilingual. You have twice as large of a vocabulary as I do. Just because sometimes English words slip past you does not make you anything less than really fuckin’ smart.”

Steve dived into Billy’s arms, kissing him roughly. Billy laughed into the kiss as Steve kept going, bullying his way onto Billy’s lap.

“You’re so good to me, Bill. Ti amo tanto.” Billy groaned.

“How ‘bout we take this upstairs, and you speak more Italian to me?” Steve just raised an eyebrow, sliding off Billy’s lap to take off up the stairs, laughing and shouting as he goes.

[okaybutlikeimagine]

(tumblr won’t let me respond to asks directly so we’re screenshotting them till further notice  🤷)(i had the WHOLE THING typed out w/ the italics fixed into the ask and i copied it so i wouldn’t have to go through and put the italics again and then my DUMBASS SELF went to copy a fucking SHRUG EMOJI and now i have to put the italics in again. good thing i do all this stuff on a separate google doc bc i’m a moron and would have lost the whole thing just now. anyway)

Hi!!! I’m crying bc you fucking KNOW that Billy would get so fucking embarrassed!!

Bc Billy is prideful!! I’m telling you, that boy has some Leo in his chart or something bc if anyone so much as smiles at a joke at his expense, he gets defensive. And that’s not to say that he doesn’t banter back and forth with Robin, and that’s not to say that he and Steve don’t give insults that sound like endearments, and that’s not to say that he and Jonathan don’t rib each other amicably… but it’s different. Pride is a very different thing.

Bc Billy is legit like a little lion cub. (AKA every Leo i know, therefore Billy has Leo in his chart, don’t @ me) it’s an almost juvenile kind of attachment to pride. Like a baby lion cub who’s just getting their mane in but holds their head like they’ve got the biggest one in the pride, it’s a little childish (as much as he may not want to admit it).

And it’s really not Billy’s fault. That’s what he’ll tell you. That’s what he’ll tell anyone. It’s not his fault he’s a brat and he’ll shrug his shoulders and he’ll continue to be rude/bratty and for some people (Steve) it’s charming and for others (almost everyone else) it’s tolerable but for Jim…. It’s…. It’s upsetting. Jim doesn’t like to be seen as “controlling” or a “hardass” or whatever but he’s not sure how he can just ignore when Billy is being disrespectful. Even if it’s only slightly. bc like…. He feels like he needs to be a good dad and good dads make sure their kids grow up to be good people, right??? Which isn’t to say he thinks Billy is a bad person but he worries because, like every parent, his biggest fear is fucking up. He didn’t get a whole lot of practice with Sara. and after her death he couldn’t help but think of every time he slipped up. Every time his wife soothed his hair and said: “We have time to get it right.” every day that passed with Sara in the hospital where he realized she was wrong.

And i’m SO sorry for getting into that but I think that really influences how Hop parents now! The man was broken and then just…. Acquired a 12 year old. And then a 17 YEAR OLD?? Like… the man would be Confused as to how to proceed. And then THIS happens…

Bc Billy has mood swings. Billy is a teenager and also the human version of a bratty little cat that puffs his chest out and ruffles his own fur and may leave a few scratches but is ultimately harmless (esp now that he has a nice, loving family!!) and so they’re at the dinner table and the boys are talking about their grades and whatnot and Billy may be a little pouty. Because maybe Billy didn’t study as hard as he should have for his last history test. He just thinks history is so stupid. He’d rather read a book or do 100 math problems. What’s history gonna teach him?? He doesn’t need to know any more about plagues.

So he says that.

Jonathan’s talking about how well he did on his essay and Will is talking about how he did on his math test and Billy’s pushing carrots around when Joyce asks: “How’s school for you, Billy?”

“Just peachy keen.” he sneers down at his plate. Hop tuts harshly.

“Hey.” Hop chastises, only serving to make Billy’s blood boil more.

“What?”

“Calm down.”

“I’m plenty calm.” Billy snaps back, but it’s quiet. He shoves a sliced carrot in his mouth.

“Have you had any tests or anything lately?” Joyce asks calmly, in that motherly voice she always gives that makes Billy’s mind swirl a bit.

“Yup.”

“Billy-” Hop warns and it makes Billy sit straight up, but give a challenging look in Hop’s direction as he says, loudly:

“Yes, ma’am.”

Joyce stops asking, but she sends a look to Hop, who’s still caught in a staredown with Billy. Billy can’t see her look, but he wouldn’t understand it if he could, because it says: Hop, cut it out.

And the conversation shifts to significant others and then Joyce is smiling kindly at El and asking about her and Mike and maybe Hop is pouting but he’s not gonna draw attention to himself bc Joyce will just hit him like she always does when he’s pouting over their kids dating (specifically El). And Jonathan is smirking a bit into his dinner but Will is visibly uncomfortable as El gushes about Mike before complaining that he doesn’t come over enough and that she doesn’t go out enough and Billy gets irritated. Why should he and Will have to listen to this when they don’t want to??

And he mutters something, darkly. Something about Mike and El and “ungrateful little brats”.

And everyone hears. He only half means it, but they don’t really think that far.

And Hop shoots a look his way before chewing on a carrot rather aggressively.

“Somethin’ to say?”

Billy gives Hop a challenging stare, but he backs down as soon as he starts it.

“No sir.” He mutters harshly.

“Then behave.”

“How about you and Steve, sweetie?” It’s Joyce. Being sweet.

“Happy as can be.” It sounds bitter the way he says it because it is. They got in a fight today. A little one, but enough to make Billy taste something sour in his mouth when he thinks about it. He figures they’re gonna make up just fine tomorrow, no flowers or empty promises needed, just another heated conversation followed by a heated make out in the front seat of Billy’s Camaro. Maybe followed by a serious talk that’ll make Billy’s face heat up because he still can’t believe this boy has Billy wrapped around his finger so fucking tight.

“Yeah, well Officer Callahan says you and Harrington have-”

“You know his name.” Billy growls, resting his fork on the plate.

“Steve. You and Steve have been running around empty fields a lot lately.”

“And?” Billy’s vision is turning red. It’s tunneling a bit.

“And what’s that all about?”

“Don’t really wanna give you all the dirty details.” Billy shoves some meatloaf in his mouth. Hop’s looking at him like he’s a hassle and Billy’s proud of it.

“You guys shouldn’t be doing that. Someone’s gonna say something.”

“And?” Billy’s getting madder. He puts his fork down with a loud clang.

“And you’re gonna cause problems-”

“For you?” Billy seethes, leaning forward a bit, just willing Hop to say it.

“For yourselves.”

“Oh yeah?” Billy asks, leaning back in his chair, blood boiling hot. “Well what about the little twerps?”

Billy nods over to El, who makes a whining noise.

“Hey!” She calls, face pouting.

“What about them?”

"I just don't think it's very fair that it's safe for them and not us." Billy growls, gritting his teeth, eyebrows low.

"That's not true."

"It's safe for everyone else but us!" He’s mad. He’s mad bc him and Steve have argued about this before. Argued about how there’s no real point in being together if they have to hide all the time. That one time when they saw Cindy and Jason being grossly affectionate in public and Billy grabbed Steve’s ass and Steve got mad. They fought for a few days and it ended with them laying in Hansen’s big empty field, on the outskirts of town, talking in dreamy, far away voices about how one day they’d move to California bc “It’s not like this there… trust me, babe. It’ll be so much better.”

Billy’s vision tunnels more. All he sees is Hop in different shades of red. He forgets where he is. He’s livid, thinking about El and Mike and Cindy and Jason and Tommy and Carol and Nancy and Jonathan and he’s going to scream. His heart is racing with disdain.

"You know it's still dangerous for El to go out." Hop warns.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Look... kid-"

"I'm not a fucking kid." Billy growls, leaning forward even more.

"Language!" Hop’s voice is booming and Billy’s had about enough of this. He resents being told off like a kid.

"Sorry! Excuse the fuck out of me!" He’s snarling and Hop seems about as livid as Billy feels.

"Go to your room!"

"Fine!" Billy yells, shoving his chair back and standing up, turning to Joyce for the first time all dinner and seeing her eyes full of… concern. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Something in his chest heaves at the sight. His eyes flick over to Jonathan and then to El and then to Will…. And then his chest tightens. He looks away just as quickly.

He thanks Joyce quietly for dinner, mumbling it a bit but he thinks the sentiment is clear enough. He drops his plate off next to the sink and storms off to his room, slamming the door with probably too much force but everything’s on his mind and he has the right to be a brat if he wants.

It’s just that he hates just sitting here with nothing to do but think about everything. He doesn’t even have his stereo to listen to music with bc he gave his to El until she can get a new one bc hers broke and her nightmares have been bad recently. Listening to music before bed calms her down. Billy didn’t say anything about his own nightmares or his own need for music before bed. He wishes he had now that he’s laying in bed, about ready to rip his sheets to shreds bc he’s boiling. He feels like a storm but, to any outsider, he looks like a toddler- red-faced from a tantrum and fidgeting and bubbling like a shaken up soda bottle.

He’s so mad he can’t even do anything. The minutes pass in sticky but frantic moments of anger and thoughts and memories and the only thing his body will let him do is just sit there. Lay in his bed and pull at his covers and fall into thoughts and think about Hop reprimanding him like that and how awful it was and how red and angry he looked and how he sent him to his room like a kid and… and how Joyce looked so worried…. And how that same look was in Jonathan’s eyes…. And Will’s…. That same worried, concerned look. They all three have the same eyes- Lonnie be damned. Those boys share their mother’s eyes and all of the emotion that goes within them and it makes… it makes Billy mad he’s mad about it he knows he’s mad and-

And…

And he calms down a bit. Calms down enough to do what Steve told him to do when he gets angry and stressed and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Because Steve’s family is “well-traveled” and Steve knows all these weird little things from all these cool different countries.

So Billy takes out his notebook and rips a couple pieces of paper out (bc he saves the fancy paper Steve gave him for when he’s actually trying) and does some origami. Bc Steve said it’d help him to do something with his hands and this is something he can do quietly, in his room, without being destructive. ”It’ll help, I promise!”

The hardest part is making a perfect square, bc it takes too much patience and usually Billy doesn’t have that. But he’s just doing this to calm down so he eyeballs it as he cuts the paper and starts to fold what he knows, which is either a heart or a crane. Those are the only 2 things Steve has taught him that he knows off hand w/o the instructions or Steve guiding him through it.

There’s more crumpled paper on the ground than folded paper on his desk but Steve had assured him that was more than okay. It’s kind of the point, he figures. Crumpling and ripping up the paper is almost as nice as folding it to make something, and it makes actually making something feel even better when it happens.

He’s sitting there, on his 3rd heart, when there’s a small knock on the door.

“Go away.” He calls, realizing that the paper he cut isn’t a perfect square bc the corners won’t match.

“It’s Will.”

Billy pauses a bit. He goes back to folding his paper, not caring about the corners bc it’s not bad enough to start over. He doesn’t say anything.

He hears the door open.

“Do you think ‘go away’ doesn’t mean you?”

“Does it?” Will asks, voice earnest. Billy looks up to see his face matches.

Billy sighs, the harsh feeling in his chest softens a bit at the boy in his doorway. He turns back to his folding.

“What do you want? And close the door.”

“I wanted to ask if you wanna come listen to records with me.” Will says, closing the door behind him.

“I don’t think they want me out there.” Billy folds his paper with his fingernail to make it sharp. It burns his thumb a bit.

“That’s not true.” Will says, taking a few steps closer. “Mom told Hop… Dad he shouldn’t have done that.”

And that makes Billy mad. He’s not even sure why. It’s a heat in his chest and his face that feels like anger and he messes up his fold and he’s just… he’s confused and he’s red and all he can think about is Will saying “mom”. Not “my mom” just “mom” and also “dad” like he’s theirs and Billy can’t understand it still and he smashes the paper into a ball in his hand-

“I don’t need your mom defending me.” Billy says harshly, spitting the words out like he hates them, chucking the paper on the ground. He’s too aware of the way Will flinches a bit at his harshness. He takes a deep breath.

“Uh... “ Will’s fidgeting. Billy feels bad. He sighs.

“I don’t have my stereo.” Billy leans back, running a tired hand down his face. “Ask Jonathan.”

“But I wanna listen to your music.” Will says quietly and Billy believes him. Will’s been getting interested in Alice Cooper and Led Zeppelin and all of the fun bands that actually perform. Steve gifted Billy a VHS performance of Led Zeppelin and Will seemed to like the lead singer quite a bit.

“Well I don’t wanna go out there, pipsqueak.” Billy rips out another piece of paper. It’s quiet for a second, Billy eyeballing another square to cut. It’s so quiet, Billy thinks Will has left.

He thinks wrong.

“Can I still hang out with you?”

Billy puts the scissors down, exhausted, and looks up at Will.

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

Will shrugs. “Nothing. I just…. Like it in here.”

Billy’s confused, but he almost believes him for a minute.

“I don’t have music for you.”

“I can grab a book to read.” The boy’s so earnest, Billy knows he’s not gonna shake him.

So he waves him away with a nod and Will’s out and back quicker than Billy can think about how weird it is that this boy would rather sit in his room in silence than do something fun. Will’s closing the door carefully, latching it quietly and moving over to sit on the bed.

Billy has crumpled up 2 more pieces of paper before Will begins to pry.

“Are you folding things again?”

“Uh huh.”

“What’s it called, again?”

“Origami.”

“Cool.” Will scoots on his knees to the edge of the bed so he can see what Billy’s doing. “Do you need any help?”

“I’m good.” Billy mutters, unconvincingly.

“I can cut the paper for you. I’m good at making squares.”

And so Will is sitting criss cross on the bed, cutting perfect square after perfect square, while Billy sits backwards on his desk chair with his arms folding on the back rest and mind racing a mile a minute. Will’s so quiet and calm, willingly coming in here just to spend time with Billy, helping him now and… and something sick fills Billy’s chest. The only thing he can hear are his words at the dinner table.

‘Hey-uh…” His voice sounds weird to his ears and his tongue feels thick but he’s got Will’s attention now so he needs to get it out. “Sorry.”

Will’s eyebrows scrunch up. “Sorry for what?”

For being a dick? For ruining your dinner? For ruining your family?

Billy shrugs.

“I dunno. Just… not being a good example.”

“Whaddya mean?” Will asks, handing over a handful of squares before working on some more.

Billy shrugs again. “I dunno kid I just… I’m not like Jonathan. I’m not… I’m not a good example for you. It’s embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing?”

“Getting told off like that in front of you guys.” Billy turns back around so he can start folding again. He needs to do something w/ his hands.

“I told you, mom told him he shouldn’t have done that.”

“But he was right-”

“No, you can be upset if you’re upset. It’s fine.”

Billy falters a bit. He wonders if Will is quoting Joyce. The small boy keeps speaking.

“You’re a good example,” Will’s voice says, and he sounds so sure that Billy believes him. “You’re just a different one. You show me to stand up for what I believe and… and that it’s okay to be… to like boys…”

Billy stops folding altogether. Will’s voice gets quieter.

“You’re a good example. It’s good to let things out when you feel them.”

Billy’s mind is racing. He’s folding without thinking about it. Because the only thing he can think about is how he got accepted into this family so quickly. How Hop took him in and Joyce accepted that like she was accepting a package at the door. She took him in like he was her own son and not some bratty problem child being dumped on her. And now Hop reprimands him without his fists and Joyce chastises Hop for being too harsh even though he’s… doing his job, whatever that entails and it’s… it’s too much sometimes. It’s too much to think about but Billy knows he wouldn’t give it away for the world bc every moment like this reminds him that every passing day is a day further away from the pain he grew up surrounded by. The pain now doesn’t even compare to the pain then. This is so different bc this pain is laced with care and love.

He’s made a crane before he realizes.

“I’m glad you’re my brother.” Will’s voice sounds so far away but it crashes over Billy like a wave.

Billy nearly crushes the crane in his hand from the words. He’s so shocked at them.

He turns and gives Will the crane, not looking the boy in the eye as he gathers up the paper and the scissors from the bed.

“I don’t need any more paper. Thanks.” Billy mumbles, dumping everything on his desk.

“You’re welcome. Is this for me?”

“Yup.” Billy shoves the paper in a drawer and tosses the scissors into his pencil cup.

“Thanks!” Will’s so excited about it. Billy’s heart is fluttering.

“Wanna listen to those records now?” Billy asks, hands on his hips, fingers fidgeting bc this is a lot and he just…. He needs music now. Whatever. He realizes he shouldn’t be so scared. There’s nothing to be scared about. Will beams up at him.

“Sure!” Will gets up and rushes to the door as Billy grabs a folded heart and follows the boy out, aiming to give it to Joyce by means of apology. He thinks briefly about giving one to Hop as well, but he figures a spoken apology and a light punch on the shoulder and a promise to listen should do just fine to get the man smiling again. Bc somehow- somewhat miraculously -it always does.

[bentnotbroken1fanfiction]

Teacher Steve/ Single Dad Billy AU

Part I Part II

The first thing he does when he walks in the door is call out his treacherous sisters name. "Maxine!"

He hears her curse in the kitchen and then Becca asking, "What's wrong Aunt Max?"

"Nothing, your dad is just being silly."

He turns the corner and she's standing at the stove pouring sauce over the noodles in the pan. Becca is on a stool, next to her, watching intently.

Until she sees him and hops down, smiling as she gives him a hug. So she's having a good day today. "Auntie said you went to talk to my teacher after work, Daddy."

"Yeah, I did." He says and glares at his sister. "And a bit of a heads up would have been fu-freaking nice, Max."

She looks like she's trying not to smile. "Huh? Did I not mention-"

"I swear to god-"

"Oh, come on. Stop acting like a baby. If I had told you, you would have hid at home and made me go."

"I'm not acting like a baby, Maxine. I would have still gone, it just would have been nice to not be blindsided." He sighs, "I nearly-" He stops and covers his daughters ears before he whisper hisses, "popped a boner just seeing him."

She loses it, laughs so hard tears are gathering at the corner of her eyes. "Oh my god!"

He lets go of Becca's ears and scowls at her as she clutches her stomach. "I'm so glad my suffering amuses you."

"I just- this is great!" She wipes the tears away. "You should go for it."

"Go for what, Daddy?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing, sweetheart. Your aunt is just being a brat."

"I'm just saying, there's nothing holding you back this time."

He motions to Becca. "Oh really?"

"Like she'd care." She scoffs and goes back to stirring. "She adores Steve."

"Yeah, well. I doubt it would end well, if it even went anywhere to begin with." He replies and pulls some bowls out of the cabinet. "Lucas gonna be home soon?"

She sighs. "No, he's helping his dad with some stuff, so he's eating there tonight."

He can tell she's disappointed. Lucas had been busy with work and helping his dad renovate the kitchen and living room for two weeks. "It will be done soon. Then you'll have him all to yourself again."

"Nuh uh. She has to share Uncle Lucas with me." Becca interjects.

"Oh. Well, it looks like you've got some competition Mad Max." He laughs.

"I'm afraid I've already lost. Who could win against that cute face?" She says, fondly pinching Becca's cheek.

He opens the fridge to find the parmesan cheese and frowns when he can't find it. "We out of parmesan?"

"Oh, shi- shoot. Yeah. Sorry." She apologizes and starts helping the little girl with her bowl of spaghetti. "I really need to go to the store."

"Don't worry about it. Me and the little lady can go tomorrow after I get off work." He doesn't mind doing the grocery shopping. Becca likes to help pick things out.

He sits down to eat but before he can even get a bite Max smirks at him and he stops with his fork hovering. "What?"

"Just thinking about your crush and how much fun I'm going to have messing with you."

"You're such a bi- brat." He growls and shoves his fork in his mouth before he says anything vulgar. He's trying to cut back on the cursing. Set a good example or whatever.

It's annoying though.

Almost as annoying as his stupid sister.

"Don't pout, Billy." She laughs. "What kind of sister would I be if I didn't stick my nose in your business and give you hell?"

"A better one?" He suggests.

"A boring one."

Yeah, well, two can play at that game. "Does your mom know that you're thinking about marrying Lucas at the courthouse?"

All the mirth vanishes from her face. "That's not funny. You know how much mom wants to plan a ridiculously girly wedding. If you tell her that, she'll guilt trip me into letting her."

He'd never really tell Susan. He just likes to make her squirm, so he shrugs.

"Billy."

"Alright. I won't say anything." He relents. "If you promise to let up on the.. crush thing."

She sounds very put upon but agrees. "Fine."

Becca, who had been watching the two of them talk, speaks up. "What is a crush?"

Billy inwardly sighs but looks right at his sister. "Ask Aunt Max. I'm sure she'd love to explain it to you."

He gets a murderous glare from her as Becca asks for her to explain it.

He's nearly finished eating by the time she's done.

-

It's a little later, after dinner is over and the dishes are done, after bath time is finished and good night hugs are passed out, that he tucks her into bed. "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about school for a second."

She pulls her stuffed bear to her chest and tilts her head. "Ok."

"Your teacher said that sometimes you get upset and don't want to talk during class. He was worried," He pauses because she's having a good day, and what he says next could possibly spoil that, "so I told him about mom. I hope that is ok with you."

She gets a little misty eyed but blinks it away. "Yeah. Mr Harrington is really nice. I don't care if he knows."

"Ok." He's relieved when she doesn't cry. He hates it when she cries. He feels like he can't do a damn thing to help her when it happens. "So, which story do you want me to read tonight?"

She looks thoughtful before deciding, "The one with horse and the princess, please."

"Sure." This was something he'd had to get used to because Mommy always reads to me at bedtime at home. He wasn't really a read out loud kind of person, but he'd had to learn to be. Becca slept better when he would.

He pulls the right one out from the bookshelf and settles down beside her, starting off with once upon a time. Because all of her stories start that way.

As he reads he does different little voices. The first time he'd attempted that, she had dissolved into a fit of giggles. Don't worry, Daddy. You'll get better.

And maybe he's still not like the best, but he thinks he's come a long way since that first night. Becca's never complained anyway, and he'd found that despite how awkward it made him feel sometimes, he actually enjoyed it. It was something even he could do, something he could do for her that made her happy, that made the sting of losing her mom lessen a bit.

He hates that she's hurting, that he can't do much more than this, but you can't control what life throws at you, you can only duck or hit back. And neither of them have the energy or focus to hit back right now.

So he reads to her. Plays dolls with her. Makes Max sit down to have a pretend tea parties with her. Anything to make this easier, to make her smile. Because he loves her and that's all he wants.

For her to smile and be happy.

He just wonders how long they'll make it before he fucks it all up.

He hears a yawn and that's a sign that she's drifting off, so he puts the book away,makes sure she's covered up, and strokes her hair a couple of times.

She looks up at him and quietly yawns out, "Night, Daddy. Love you."

Yeah. It still gets to him, that she's his, that he loves her so fiercely, because he never wanted to be a father. He didn't want the responsibility, didn't want to take a chance that he'd end up becoming Neil.

But he's not his father and never will be. The proof is softly snoring with a teddy bear under one arm.

He smiles again and whispers, "Love you too, sweetheart," then shuts the door behind him.

Part IV

[1980s-robin]

steve harrington x reader

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader | jonathan byers  x friend reader

fandom: stranger things

requested: yes

summary: y/n has been friends with dustin and the gang for a while, because once she reached high school she was tasked with watching dustin when he was home alone. when steve joined that friend group, she was instantly drawn to not only someone her age, but someone who she always thought was too good for her. their relationship develops quickly, and before long they’re romantic, but y/n starts hanging out a lot with jonathan and steve begins to get rather jealous.

a/n: so- i wrote another female reader i’m sorry i didn’t mean to it just happened i didn’t realize what i did until it was halfway done..

warnings: angst. fluffy ending. mentions of feeling low, mentions of sexism.

word count: 2.3k

The moment Steve joined the friend group between you and the kids was interesting, to say the least. You’d been in the same grade in school as Steve for years, and you’d seen him go from girl to girl, seducing and leaving. Forgetting everyone and everything around him, forgetting you. Hell, one time you had agreed to go on a date with him, in Freshman year just hoping to gain popularity, and he forgot the next day and was hitting on another girl. 

It was that same year that Dustin’s mom asked you to watch him while he’s away, she called it babysitting but Dustin was only a few years younger than you so you wouldn’t call him a baby. A child, yes, but truthfully you thought he was a little too old to have a babysitter since you didn’t have one at his age. Either way, as you both became older, Dustin became more normal and you really only stuck around to watch him because you thought he was an interesting kid.

But, then everything changed. You weren’t the only person your age hanging out with the group of young teens, because Steve soon joined. From then on, you noticed a change in the boy that you once thought to be nothing more than a douchebag, and the boys noticed too. A lot of the time when people see a male and a female together they assume things, and truth be told you and Steve were the only people around each other’s age in the friend group, so it was easy for them to assume something was going on as you two grew closer. By the time you both nearly died together, and you had to do your best to tend to his wounds after Billy beat him, you’d grown closer than either of you thought possible, and struck up a romantic relationship. 

And that’s how you got here, Starcourt Mall was just in the earlier stages of being built but you and Steve decided that you would wait until it was built and try to get a job together. For the time being, you spent most of your time babysitting some younger kids since you both were pretty good at that, or just hanging out. You’d both graduated, but decided to stick around Hawkins. Steve, because he didn’t really get a job or an internship, and you because you wanted to stay with your family, and because you had a feeling the things you’d encountered from the Demogorgons and things would stick with you forever even if you left, so it would be better to stay. 

The thing that you didn’t realize when you decided to stay in town was that you were going to have a lot of free time, and it’s not like there was much that you can Steve could do. You could hang out together as much as you wanted, but no one wants to hang out with the same person all day, every day, no matter how much they loved each other. So, in your free time, you found out that Nancy and Jonathan got a job at the paper, and you asked if they needed any help. Nancy didn’t need any help but she told you that Jonathan might, that he was always looking for a second opinion on the photos that he was taking. 

You want to Jonathan and asked him if he needed help and agreed to let you help him whenever you were free. Because you were helping Jonathan, and you really thought it was nice to feel like you were contributing to something as important as the paper, you spent a lot of your time helping Jonathan choose pictures that he liked. Some of the men at the paper found out that you had been helping, and asked if you wanted to be an intern like Nancy since they thought you were just sort of an assistant to Jonathan but you turned them down because Nancy told you how rude and sexist the men who worked there were to her, and you didn’t want to get involved with them just because you were helping a new friend with his work.

There was nothing going on between you and Jonathan, you liked helping him because it gave you something to do and because the two of you were never really friends in high school. But you ended up spending more and more time with him, ever learning how to take pictures with the camera yourself so you could help take photographs that you thought he would want for the paper. It was fun, and it made you feel good. But you spent less time with Steve, you spent more time with a new friend than your boyfriend and you were so wrapped up in your new hobby and your new friendship that you didn’t even realize it. 

You didn’t really know how Steve was feeling, you didn’t know that he was feeling bad about the fact that he didn’t get accepted into colleges. You didn’t know that he was feeling bad because he was once the top of the game in the town of Hawkins, and now people were forgetting that he even existed. You didn’t know because he didn’t open up about that kind of stuff with anyone, and you didn’t know because you were beginning to ignore the person that he was relying on to spend time with him. With the new school year in swing for the kids, Dustin and the others were away and you and Steve had graduated.

It was only a summer internship, so Jonathan wasn’t going to be with the paper for another ten months, but you had become friends with him, and truth be told you really enjoyed photography. It wasn’t as though you wanted to do it professionally, but you thought it was fun and you thought it was nice to have a new friend that you hadn’t really talked to before. That’s how the day that everything happened started. 

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan. Stand still.” You said jokingly. For the past 20 minutes, you had been trying to take a picture of the sight where Starcourt was being built for a project, but he just couldn’t stop moving around and bumping the tripod you were using for the camera. “Sorry, sorry. I was looking through my own lens.” He said before he lowered his camera so you would have time to take the picture. At long last, you had a decent picture. So far, it was only the outside structure of the building, there was nothing else besides that, nothing inside and really nothing to define that it was a mall. 

“What time is it?” You asked him, knowing that he had his watch on him. “7:30, why?” He asked but your eyes widened. “Shit. Shit. I have to go.” You said. You had a date with Steve at 7:40, you hadn’t even gone home to get dressed let alone started driving the twenty-minute drive that it was going to take to get there. “I have a date with Steve, shit I’m going to be late.” You said, before you grabbed the tripod and folded it up, bringing the camera with you to the car. “Come on.” You said, nearly breaking into a sprint as you slid into the passenger seat.

“Stop it, don’t freak out okay.” Jonathan said as he got in the seat next to you, sliding the keys into the ignition and putting on his belt before he pulled out of the new parking lot. “Don’t freak out? I missed my last date with Steve because Nancy wanted to go over the pictures. He’s going to be so upset.” You said, finally putting the camera and tripod into the back seat. “Okay, well you’ll be a little late but Nancy’s house is on the way. You said it was that new Italian place earlier right?” asked and you nodded. “Right, we can stop and see if Nancy or her mom has something for you to wear, that way you don’t have to go home.” He said and you sighed and nodded. “Fine, but I’ll still be late.” 

It was a long five minutes making your way to the Wheelers house in a panic, but thankfully Karen had just the outfit from when she was younger that fit you perfectly. It was a dark red dress that cut off about an inch before your knee, it flowed at the bottom and was slim at the top. She also gave you a pair of dark red heels to match and did your hair and makeup as quickly as she could. “Thank you Mrs. Weeler, I’ll bring the dress and shoes back tomorrow.” You reassured and she waved her hand. “You can keep it, I don’t need that stuff anymore.” She responded and you smiled gratefully, waving goodbye to Nancy before Jonathan drove you to the restaurant. 

“Thanks, uh… you can keep the camera until next time we go to Starcourt right?” You asked him and he nodded, “Yeah, they’re supposed to make some progress again in a few days.” He said before letting you make your way into the restaurant. “How may I help you?” Asked the woman at the counter, a kind smile on her face as she greeted you. “I’m with the Harrington party?” You tried to say it as a statement, but it came out as more of a question. “Right this way.” She said as she grabbed a menu and a set of silverware and led you to the table with Steve.

You said down and just decided to stick with water. You were afraid to look at Steve, but when you did you knew you had made a mistake. “You’re late.” He said simply, he seemed annoyed. “I’m sorry, I loved track of time. Jonathan-” “You were with Jonathan?” He asked you, cutting you off. “Yes, he wanted to do a project and take pictures of Starcourt as it’s growing for the paper.” You answered him, and he nodded. But you could tell he wasn’t satisfied. 

You sighed as you picked out and ordered your food, but throughout that time Steve hadn’t said anything to you. The whole dinner was mainly silent, the only spoken words being ‘Pass the salt’ or something else. By the end of the date, you wanted to cry. As you made your way out you glanced at Steve. “I need a ride home.” You said, rather meekly as he led you to his car. “Steve? Can we talk please?” You asked him, just wanting to know why he was so annoyed. “Wouldn’t you rather talk to Jonathan?” He asked you, causing you to raise your eyebrows. “Excuse me?” You questioned, as you sat down in the car.

“Well you’ve been spending all of your time with him, I figured you’ve finally decided that you’d rather move on from me. And maybe that’s for the best.” Your heart dropped. “S-Steve?” You stuttered out, tears welling up in your eyes. “What? You’ve come to terms just like Nancy did. Jonathan is smart, he has an internship, he’s going places with his life and he has friends who aren’t children. And he was never a douchebag, like I was.” Steve said, but he wasn’t stopping.

“You’ve spent all of your time with him, you ditched our last date you- you stopped coming to see me during the day and you even come over less at night-” “Steve-” “But I can’t blame you. I didn’t get into any colleges or accepted for any internships, and my only job is babysitting. Steve has things I don’t have, I’m a failure.” “Steve please listen to me.” You tried, but it was to no avail. “Just like Nancy, making me fall in love with you only to leave me for Jonathan Byers. Is this what my life is meant to be?” He asked. He finally stopped, but he realized what he did.

Neither of you had told each other that you loved each other yet. “Steve. I’m not interested in Jonathan I- I didn’t realize you felt this way.” You started, you really didn’t know what to say. “I love you, I’ve loved you for a while and I got distracted because I feel so good being able to contribute to the paper because Nancy said that the men who own it don’t really encourage women to be creative it… feels nice to do something that people don’t want me to do but Steve-” You cut yourself off again.

“Steve I can’t be without you, I don’t care if I have Dustin or Jonathan or Nancy, they’re not you. I need you, I love you more than anything. I’m so sorry. I just see you as so perfect I didn’t think you could see yourself as anything else. And if you never want to see me again, I understand. I hurt-” You were cut off by Steve’s lips crashing onto yours, his hand moving to hold onto your neck and yours grabbing onto that hair of his. By the time you both pulled back from the passionate kiss, he rested his forehead on yours. “I want to see you, I never want to stop seeing you.” He muttered and you grinned, kissing him again lightly before you both decided to start going home. 

“Steve? Can I stay with you tonight?” You asked him, and he nodded before deciding to just drive to his house. You changed into one of his shirts and slid into bed with him as he turned the light off. “I’m sorry the first time we said I love you was like that.” He mumbled into your hair and you laughed. “It’s fine, it was my fault.” You replied and he raised an eyebrow, “You know you can still see Jonathan, you just can’t… ignore me too.” You raised your head so you could meet his eyes. “I’d never stop seeing you. Besides, once Starcourt is built we can work together and see each other every day.” Steve smiled widely and kissed you very lightly before you rested your head in the crook of his neck and you both fell asleep.

[hargrove-mayfields]

okay so I know it’s been ages (I totally lost this in my drafts. oops!), but a while back I wrote this drabble and @trans-siberian-marching-band left a comment that inspired this follow up!

“When you were growing up, did you ever want siblings?”

They’re out in their backyard, something that still makes the both of them emotional, the fact that they have a space together that they can call theirs, sitting on the porch swing under the stars, just talking.

It’s funny, there was a time when they couldn’t ever do this kind of thing without something to smoke, only ever having these deep conversations because of the Chocolate Thai that Steve used to like so much, but they can’t really do that sort of thing anymore for the sake of Billy’s lungs.

Which, Billy knew well things weren’t going to be the same once he got out of the hospital, and he was okay with that even, after so long a recovery, it just worried him a little, to think he wouldn’t be the same person. But Steve, he had a way of proving him wrong, always showing him that even if things changed, they still had eachother, and that was what was most important to the both of them.

It wasn’t just the photo album thing either, it was keeping up all of their little traditions and habits, different as they may be now, and making dozens of new ones, building a life together and showing him that this was okay.

“More than anything.” Billy responds to Steve’s question, a little wistful. Being a big brother used to be what he would wish for on every birthday candle or shooting star that went past his window.

Steve hums and sits back a little further on the swing, looking up at the sky, “I bet you liked it a lot when Max came along then.”

And he doesn’t mean to, but Billy scoffs, says a bit harshly, “No way, I hated her guts.”

“Oh.” Steve looks over at Billy, a little put off by his answer if the slight frown on his face is any indication, but he shares his own thoughts all the same, “Well I always wanted a little sister.”

“I did too.” Billy admits, making Steve look even more confused as he asks him, a sort of confrontational edge to his voice, “Then what was wrong with Max?”

Billy sighs. The reason is something he’s never shared with a single soul, never scribbled in the pages of his diary, or even mentioned in a prayer. He looks up at the sky with Steve, and tells him, his voice so quiet the emptiness almost swallows his words, “Momma was five months pregnant when she left. I couldn’t stand Max because she wasn’t my real sister. Wasn’t my Raini.”

Billy was eight years old when his momma had told him that she was pregnant, explaining all about what that meant as she was tucking him into his bed each night, when Neil would stay late at work, even later at the bar.

She would take extra care to always tell him how he was going to be such a good role model for his baby sister when she came, and even taught him about all the things you had to do for a baby. He couldn’t have been more excited.

But instead of his family getting bigger, four months before he’s supposed to be able to meet the baby, it gets smaller. His momma, trying to make sure that her husband wouldn’t be able to control her pregnancy or hurt her baby, takes off with most of Billy’s things packed in her car and nothing more than a promise to be back before the end of the month.

Except, that doesn’t ever happen. His dad moves them all the way to the other side of the state before it can.

Little Billy hadn’t known what to do with himself. He was beyond devastated, even more so when he found out over the phone his momma wouldn’t be able to make the trip to come get him like she had initially promised, and that he’d have to live with just his father from then on.

It’s a horrible thing, for a child so young to realize he’ll never see his mother again, never have the things she took with her to cherish, never meet the little girl he was so excited to be a big brother to. Billy honestly doesn’t think Neil ever even found out that his mom was pregnant.

With time Billy would forget a lot of things, trauma blocks and so many months in a coma a major hindrance on his memory, but he could never forget his baby sister.

Steve brings him back out of his head with a simple question, so much concern written on his face it makes Billy’s stomach turn, “You never even met her?”

“Nope. Lost contact with momma before she was even born, so.” Billy says, scrunching up his nose when it burns with tears, the one sure fire giveaway that he’s upset that Steve never ever misses.

“Well you should find her now.” Steve says, but despite the heartfelt nature of his words, the suggestion is immediately turned down with a, “It’s not that easy.”

“Well know her name, don’t you? Raini?”

“Yeah, Raini Mae, but I have no idea what her surname is. She never met Neil so she’s probably not a Hargrove, momma’s maiden name was Ellison, but maybe she got married again after Neil.” Billy explains, frustrated that Steve’s telling him all the same things he’d been thinking about for the last twenty some odd years, “Hell, it’s been so long, maybe Raini’s even married by now.”

“Please, Billy. You have to at the very least try.” Steve says, taking up Billy’s hand in his.

“Why? So I can find one more person who was supposed to care about me and never did?” Billy asks, and they both know that’s unfair, but he’s stubborn, hurt by what happened and terrified of finding out something he doesn’t want to know, “I love you, but I’m not doing this for you.”

But Steve, he isn’t letting this go so quickly. This is the only thing that Billy still kept a secret from him after all these years, this has to be important. He thinks hard about it, and offers hopefully, “Would you let me though? Would you talk to her, even just one time, if I found her for you?”

Billy looks at him, his eyes shining with tears that had been waiting to fall since he was just a kid, and he nods, “Of course I would.”

“Then I’ll do it.” Steve’s says determinedly, his mind made up. He was going to find Billy’s sister, no matter what.