#when does this cycle stop

[helloenee]

it’s so messed up that I need to do cardio so I’m not dying when I do more cardio

[annyankers]

for all the amicability in the whirlwind later on i think it's really important to never lose sight of why dru was turned and then why she in turn sired spike. she was tortured and turned for angelus' enjoyment, her continued suffering brings him pleasure. he owns her, she is a Thing to him and she has no way to escape this. she makes spike to be "her brave knight" a position that, especially in fairytales, means a very romantic man physically protects and serves a woman who is usually gonna end up being some kind of damsel in distress.

while yes dru is evil and a vampire she's still obviously very upset about what happened to her and those moments seem to be her times of lucidity, not delusion. not to mention that she's already been beaten out of the notion that she can escape angelus, she tried to as a human and it didn't work, it likely won't work now either, especially if darla sides with him. but with spike around there's someone who basically always takes her side and fights to keep angelus away from her. who is, at least, a buffer between her and her tormentor. he also takes care of her and validates her, something neither darla or angelus seem to be interested in doing at all.

i feel like people tend to intellectually remember what happened to her but forget that it you know, has long lasting consequences when say, they evaluate her behavior in late s2 when angelus comes back. like... yeah ofc she goes back to appeasing him and shit. spike's a wheelchair and she was beaten into shape to be "daddy's little girl" (gag) YEARS before she even MET spike. her abuser is back and her defender is out of commission not to mention her whole view of reality has been actively warped by the most narcissistic sleezoid around.

and all the reasons why people love spike or point to as why he's better with buffy or whatever.... dru was the one who saw those first and picked him because of those. like... it's wild to see people act like they spent a loveless century together and spike was just used the whole time when we SEE them literally in love, he states MULTIPLE times she means so much to him and we get an OUTSIDE SOURCE CONFIRM THEY HAVE "AFFECTION AND JEALOUSY FOR EACH OTHER". we have the spike we know of today because drusilla saw the hero in him and wanted him to rescue her. and ya know, he kinda did. multiple times. over a century of deep, mutual horrifying love. you only even GET spike and buffy in the same ROOM because he loved dru so much he saved her from a mob, traveled with her across a continent (maybe 2 depending on direction) and over an ocean for even a SHOT at a cure. like... cMON.

this got a little off topic into some of my pet peeves but also kinda not because just-- i don't think people always remember that dru is still a victim and a victim who was intentionally frozen the moment of maximum despair and internal destruction. then spent about 20 years being groomed by her tormentor before she ever had anyone care about her as a priority. i think people tend to forget that it was angelus who wanted to turn spike into a monster and drusilla who wanted him to be a hero. it's dru who gives him his swagger, his confidence, his love for life, who encouraged his romanticism and adored his poetics. it's not that she groomed or built him, but just that she saw all that potential already in there and facilitated it and nurtured it. sure in a fucked up vampire way but still.

[itadooori]

hobo era gi-hun my beloved

[trappedinafantasy37]

There are multiple gods in the game that you can directly interact with and they all have ties to the narrative. You can interact with Shar via Shadowheart. You can interact with Mystra via Gale. You can interact with Myrkul via Ketheric when he takes on the avatar form. You can interact with Bhaal via Durge and in the fight with Orin. You can interact with Bane after killing Gortash and using "Speak with Dead" in which the soul you speak to is not Gortash, but Bane himself. I would include Vlaakith in this list but Vlaakith is not a god, she is a lich presenting herself as a god. And, of course, there is the Absolute which doesn't really become a god until it ascends into the Netherbrain (although that is debatable).

But, did you know that Lolth will also interact with you? As far as I am aware, Lolth is the only non-story related god in which you do have interactions with. One of them is only available if you are a Lolth-sworn drow, and the other is only available if you are a Cleric of Lolth (you do not need to be Lolth-sworn for it).

The first instance is in the goblin camp with the spiders in the pit. This does require that you are a Lolth-sworn drow and that you have the ability to speak with animals. When talking to the spiders, you will have the option to present yourself to the spiders as Lolth herself. If you fail the persuasion check, Lolth gets pissed off as she was listening to you and is not happy that you tried to present yourself as her. And she tells the spiders you are an imposter and they attack you. But if you succeed the check, Lolth doesn't do anything and the spiders will think you are Lolth. So, Lolth doesn't really have a problem with you pretending to be her. But if you are going to pretend to be her, you better do it right. If the spiders think you are Lolth, you can ask them about what's going on in the goblin camp and the spiders only talk about one thing. They immediately tell you that there is another drow in the camp who has forgotten her way and that she is forsaken. And, as I said, Lolth is here. She heard the spiders admit this. Lolth does nothing about it.

The second instance is in the Underdark with the Phalar Aluve. When you interact with the sword, you have two different checks, a Strength check and a Religion check. If you do the Strength check, you can just pull it out of the stone and be on your merry way. If you perform the Religion check, the narrator will tell you different things depending on certain conditions. If you are a Lolth-sworn drow and/or a Cleric of Lolth, the narrator will tell you that the religious rite to pull the blade from the stone is blasphemous as it pays honor to the weak. If you are of any other race and/or cleric of any other god, the narrator will tell you that the sword is of Eilistraee and the rite pays honor to the fallen. The religious rite is that you spill a little bit of your blood and the sword will rise out of the stone on its own. If you do this as a Cleric of Lolth (you don't need to be Lolth-sworn) you will feel hundreds of spiders crawl all over you as Lolth is warning you not to do shit like that ever again. Not only did you perform the religious rite of another god, you performed the religious rite of a god she hates. And she is letting you know how much she hated that.

These are the only two instances in the game that I have found in which Lolth interacts with the player but there are plenty of other moments in which Lolth could interact with you, but doesn't (such as with the Phase Spider, the baby spiders in Grymforge, Kar'niss, or the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar). Of these two moments where Lolth does interact with you, one of these instances is in the goblin camp, and the other is in the Underdark not too far away from the goblin camp. I don't think it is much of a coincidence that these two interactions occur in close proximity to Minthara. Almost as if Lolth has a reason to be in that area specifically to watch and monitor things, and you just so happened to be there. And the only things that compel her to interact with you is because you pissed her off. But, as long you don't piss her off, she will do nothing and she will say nothing.

When Minthara was being tortured by the Absolute, she prayed to Lolth and begged Lolth to give her the strength to fight her enemies. But Lolth does nothing and Lolth says nothing. In fact, that was the full extent of Lolth's "punishment" for Minthara, nothing. All Lolth did was not answer Minthara's prayers and not show up when Minthara needed her the most. Lolth did not torture Minthara like the Absolute did, Lolth did not turn her into a drider, nor did Lolth eat her. All she did, was nothing. And yes, Lolth is known for abandoning drow and no longer interacting with them. A drow has to do something incredibly awful in order for Lolth to just back away from them entirely. But you cannot convince me that Lolth is going to let one of her Baenre's go so easily. It's not as if Minthara has done anything truly awful either to make Lolth that mad.

According to Minthara, she herself has sinned against the Spider Queen, but it's not as if she chose to abandon Lolth, she was forced away and mind controlled into being devoted to another god. But would this make a difference to Lolth? Does it really matter if Minthara was compelled to have faith in another god besides Lolth? It isn't until Minthara is freed and feels the absence of Lolth that she chooses to no longer follow Lolth. Minthara even mentions how turning against Lolth is a big no-no in Menzoberranzan. Minthara herself at one point has hunted down and killed those who turn their backs from Lolth so she knows the same will be done to her if she were to ever return home. In fact, if you are a Lolth-sworn drow or a Cleric of Lolth, you are given unique dialogue options with Minthara to kill her because she is a traitor to Lolth and these options continue to show up until you recruit her into your party and she joins your roster. Despite all of this, Lolth does nothing. Minthara spews anti-Lolth rhetoric left and right, and Lolth does nothing. If you take Minthara to the tabernacle, she will spit on a shrine to Lolth, and Lolth does nothing.

Minthara is also able to walk through the Gauntlet of Shar, which is in the Underdark, and Lolth does nothing. Sure, you could argue that its connection to the Shadowfell and the fact that Shar is there via Shadowheart is enough to keep Lolth away. The lore of DnD does not make it quite clear what the relationship between these two goddesses are. But I am willing to bet that Lolth is smart enough not to step on Shar's toes because Shar would annihilate her. However, there is a small little section of the Gauntlet where it actually does spit you out directly into the Underdark and into Lolth's territory. Minthara can walk right out there just fine, and Lolth does nothing.

But most importantly, Minthara's default ending is her returning to the Underdark with the sole purpose of destroying House Baenre and then killing Lolth. Destroying House Baenre could lead to a chaotic and political disaster in Menzoberranzan, and Lolth does nothing. Minthara quite literally wants to kill Lolth and has intentions to do so after taking House Baenre, and Lolth. Does. Nothing!

If Minthara goes into the Underdark and destroys House Baenre, this will cause chaos and death. And the Baenre's won't be the only ones she has to destroy, but any and all allies of House Baenre in which they do have a lot. And Lolth will feed off of all the death and carnage and chaos that Minthara is about to bring to Menzoberranzan because Lolth loves chaos more than she hates traitors.

Maybe, Lolth has not abandoned her as Minthara thinks she has. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara has not actually upset her. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara is already doing everything Lolth wants her to do. And all it took, was making Minthara think that Lolth abandoned her. There was no need for Lolth to answer Minthara's prayers, because Minthara always had the strength to fight her enemies.

[erinwantstowrite]

oh god oh GODDD im so excited for the comic strip scene to appear in fic bc bruce and petey’s hug is making my heart ACHE… specifically the way that the goober leans his WHOLE BODY into it and then bruce places a secure hand on his back and cradles the back of his head ough OUGHHH like that action is so like . yeah you sure are an uncle ben counterpart bc clearly you love this kid with everything you have and are giving him a guiding hand . but also but ALSO something about the movement is so … batman pulling robin under his cape … providing careful shelter to a kid who needs it so bad … like if im dick and i see my father figure and my kid caring for each other to the point of enacting change (bruce being emotionally intelligent and petey letting himself trust + be tactile) im sobbing and throwing up bc my heart is so full . like he cares he learned from his mistakes w me … and my baby who deserves everything gets to reap the benefits and soak up all that honest affection like AUGHHH its all worth it its all worth it

bruce makes me so emotional sometimes because the older he gets the more he learns from his mistakes and the more guilty he feels about his older children and trying to make up for it in every possible way,,, i PLAN for right after this conversation with peter and bruce, for dick to see it and bruce tug him into the hug and AGGHH they make me emotional. bruce was like "i can't get attached because peter has to go home" ans then proceeded to fail at not getting attached. but we all knew that would happen (look at his track record...)

[kidspawn]

everyday i wake up and the sacred texts have been rewritten

[whoblewboobear]

Jace doing stretches in bed to relieve period cramps when Porter walks in and just kinda short circuits seeing him with his ass in the air and his face buried in a pillow. In his mind he’s like ‘that text didn’t say anything about sex, wtf is going on.’

When Jace finally rolls over into a more relaxed position and sees Porter he just gives him the most exhausted, frowny look and asks for a back rub and Porter obliges once it clicks into place for him. He pampers Jace for the rest of the day and dotes on him for the rest of the week until it’s over.

[pinkfey]

you’re not better for being aloof and apathetic and not thinking about the election tonight btw

[sag-dab-sar]

Does anyone else have cycling interests?

Like super focused on a specific show for a month, then classic music for a month, then aviation for a month, then true crime for a month. (Or one week or a few months etc). Sometime my brain is super invested in for a very long time, many years, like 9/11 or WWII or Sims, but my brain doesn't (or I guess can't) focus on them when one of the random one shows up.

And my brain goes back to some of them later for another cycle of it being main focus; then brain eventually moves onto another thing. And importantly to this— I'm rarely focused on more than 2. Sometimes its like 2 and a half at most. But I'm intensely interested in The Thing while in that "cycle." And the half being minor interest in another thing especially like a transition from one cycle to the next, or a random sprinkle of some other interest like one documentary. And sometimes my brain is frazzled and can't focus on any topic (which is stressful).

I feel like I'm just a weirdo and talking about the random thing I'm interested in for a month and it is annoying even though I wanna blab and blab and blab about it for hours.

edit: ​Also my day dreaming/writing almost ALWAYS relates to the interest of that cycle and I decide if its canon when the cycle ends. The amount of non-canon because of it lol.

[mybreadsmybutters]

i love the cycle <- guy in best part of the cycle voice (doesn't remember whats coming)

[starstruckodysseys]

thinking about the mall teens again. hundreds dead several injured

[yutamayo]

I am sooooo tired (me wide awake at 3:26am trying to convince myself to piss and then get into bed despite knowing I won't sleep despite being awake for literally like 48 hours and not actually feeling tired will I crash idk I feel I am heading for a crash but I've been waiting for one the last few weeks and my body feels fine maybe who knows maybe I will black out and sleep for 3 days but I will likely be up in a few hours to start my usual day of staring at the wall)

[eynsavalow]

.

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

Every once in a while I'm reminded that there are people who legitimately believe that Pokemon games only have a 1 year dev cycle and my brain goes numb. It is physically impossible for games of this size to be developed within a year

Can we just go back to saying we dislike certain games/aspects of the games instead of making up things thank you

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i do think it's kind of funny that ao3 seems to have made a blanket change to all the "mythology" tags to make them "religion and lore" (not a good change) EXCEPT the "arthurian mythology" tag, which remains intact despite a Number of people trying to get that one reworked or at least different wrangled for ages. they're like "we're taking mythology away from all the contexts where it might be applicable. and leaving it in the context where it's dubious. this is a sensible change"

[hewillnevervisit]

what does your soul look like?

the broken mirror

You are the rebel. You are the one who refused to fit into the box. They broke you because you refused to conform, but they never expected you to turn your shattered pieces into sharp edges aimed for their throats. They will face your pointed fragments and see their own reflection in your ruin. You are a reckoning. You are the threat of a future unsuited for weak minds. How unfortunate it is that your existence is solitary. That you cut everyone who comes close. Maybe one day someone will show you how to be something besides a weapon. Maybe one day they will help you put your pieces back together to see yourself as a person instead of a cause for once.