#when i cant control things i swing to a different direction

[banannabethchase]

*beats off the negative body image and self esteem issues with the newly acquired handheld vacuum cleaner*

[cupoftaae]

Still Perfect (JK Drabble)

Summary- Your mind is playing evil tricks on you again, and the only one who can bring you back down to earth is your husband, the one you are ashamed to admit everything to.

Warnings- swearing, minor angst, they are in luv its cute, mentions of depression (reader), mentions of medications. 18+

Enjoy <3

"Baby...I'm gonna take Gia outside to test the new swing I put up, do you wanna come?" Jungkook whispered, his hand on your back as you laid in the dark bedroom at 2 in the afternoon.

You sighed, looking up at your husbands face, "I want to but I just...Im so tired"

He nodded sadly, "okay...thats okay you dont have to, I'll take pictures?"

"yes please" you smile weakly

"mama!! mama! lets go outside!" Your 3 year old, Gia, runs into the room and stands beside your bed.

Jungkook was quick to pick her up into his arms, squeezing her, "mama isnt feeling too good right now, shes gotta rest." he whispered

"again?" your daughter pouted, her big eyes looking down at you- and with single glance, your heart was broken into 5 million pieces.

Jungkook frowned, "hey, sometimes adults get tired, its okay, we will go have fun in the backyard and you can see mama later? wave bye bye" he held her small hand up and waved for her as he began to leave the room, mouthing a soft "love you" in your direction before the door shut.

with that, the tears began to flow.

Your depression struggles have always found a way into your family, when you were dating jungkook you spent so much time explaining that sometimes you just cant function, and he was the first boyfriend you had that understood and didnt make you feel like a piece of shit for struggling with something out of your control.

It was nice, but then the fears that he would leave set in.

He always tries his best to make sure you feel loved and appreciated, when he proposed, he took you to Italy for 3 weeks just to be alone with you.

And your wedding was no different either.

He made sure you felt beautiful the way you were, showing you off at any chance he could, and even stepping away from the after party with you for a bit when things got overwhelming.

Many emotions were experienced when you became pregnant after 3 months of marriage. The guilt in believing you werent a good mother, the guilt for not having enough energy to eat most days even though you knew it wasnt just about/for yourself.

The self neglect was the worst part, and if jungkook had not been there to help you through all of the ugly, you dont know what you would have done.

You love him so much and the thought that maybe he doesnt feel that from you is terrifying, the thought that your daughter is only 3 and is already catching onto her mothers odd behavior is alarming.

Gia sees her friends moms play with them, she goes over to her cousins house and plays with their mom, why doesnt her own mom have that energy?

The tears seeped into the silk pillows as you squeezed your eyes shut.

This was how it often was for you: no emotion at all, or sadness. thats it, since you were 13.

No amount of doctor visits or therapy could fix you, and now you were letting it ruin your family.

-

A bit after Jungkook brought Gia inside, she fell asleep on the couch in the living room.

He smiled and took a photo of her small bundled up body laying on the cushion before making his way upstairs to show you.

"honey, you awake?" he mumbled, sliding open the door and walking in.

You were facing the opposite wall, feeling absolutely numb.

"baby" he smiled, kissing your forehead, "you okay? you wanna see the videos of gia?"

You tried to open your mouth to talk but nothing came out, instead your eyes teared up again and you turned your face further into the pillow to hide.

He frowned, putting his phone away as he climbed under the covers with you, his larger body spooning against yours. "sweetheart, whats going on?" his hand brought you closer

"I dont know" you whispered quietly

"just not doing good again?" he questioned, hand rubbing your side softly to soothe you.

You nod, unable to talk.

"im here for you, did you take your medication?"

"no.."

"okay well lets do that now so we dont forget, okay?" he sat up and pulled open your nightstand drawer, taking the pill you take daily and handing it to you alongside a water bottle.

You gently sat up and leaned against the headboard, taking the pill.

"where is she?" you asked quietly, teary eyes catching to kooks in the dimly lit bedroom.

"she passed out on the couch downstairs, bam is laying with her" he smiled, finding a cozy spot beside you again.

"am I a bad mom?" you question, watching his face contort

"what? why would you ask me that? of course you arent"

"jungkook I havent been able to leave the room for 2 days, this isnt normal....she misses me, she needs her mommy and im failing her" your voice cracked slightly as jungkook immediately brought you into his arms, caging you against him.

"dont talk like that, you are such an amazing woman, y/n. I would have never married you otherwise. You are so fucking strong and you cant let yourself fall into this dark space, you are struggling, yes, but we take it step by step, just like we've always done." he rubs your back as he speaks, "and Gia doesnt feel left out, she would not stop talking about you the entire time we were outside. Dont tell her I told you but she picked a bunch of 'flowers' for you" he giggled, "I didnt have the heart to tell her they were just weeds"

You allow yourself to laugh softly, leaning into your husbands embrace.

"you are doing so well....so incredibly well baby. I know life isnt always fair but we cant blame ourselves, we have to pick up what we have learned and move on as stronger people."

You nod, looking at him as he wipes the tear on your cheek.

"my beautiful girl, I love you so much, you know that?"

You smile sadly, "I love you too"

"can I take you downstairs and we can cuddle on the couch? I'll cook for you, you havent eaten in hours"

"okay" you sniff, allowing jungkook to help you up and keep a blanket wrapped around your body.

-

"mommy!"

Gia's toothless smile greeted you as you came downstairs, Bam laying on her protectively.

"Hi baby" you waved and walked over, sitting onto the couch and letting her crawl into your lap. "I missed you sweetheart, oh- your overalls are backwards" you giggled softly

Jungkook blushed as he sat on the other side of you, sharing a funny glance with his daughter.

"daddy dress me" she whispered

"I can tell" you smile, squeezing her tightly and rocking back and forth gently.

"my pretty girls" jungkook whispered, more so to himself than directed at you both.

"and bammy" gia added on, hiding her face against your chest.

"and bammy" you insisted, rubbing her back

Jungkook leaned over to wrap you two into his arms, kissing both of your heads.

"did you have fun outside" you asked

Gia giggled, "yeah...but daddy pushed the swing too much, I fell" she babbled

"what?" You look at your husband

"shes okay, shes breathing, shes here" he began, smothering his hands over his little girls face as she laughed loudly.

"mama feeling okay?" she asked once you all calmed down,

"mama is doing okay, my dear. Dont worry about me, I love you so much" you squished her face softly and kissed her nose

"love you more!!" she added, clapping her hands

"Love you most!!" You couldnt help but smile as jungkook leaned his head against the back of the couch, eyes drawn on his wife and daughter only.

"i'll make some lunch" he spoke, standing

"yay!! I help?" Gia hopefully asked

"no no, you girls sit there and look cute" he winked at you before walking off to the kitchen, bam following him in hopes of getting a treat.

You loved your little family, and you wouldnt trade them for anything the world had more to offer.

They were the ones who got your through the toughest part of life, and you were grateful that in this moment you didnt have to fake a smile.

[strawberrybabydog]

what exactly “fear of abandonment and frantic attempts to avoid it” means .. what count as attempts and severe enough fear of abandonment? What counts as abandonment? Is it a required symptom? Is periods of devaluation and idealization and unstable relationships only a bpd thing? can someone have times where they hate them love someones and have messy drama relationships with them and have it notttt be apart of bpd? like can someone say they split even if they don’t have bpd? if someone has an unstable identity but also has cptsd and likely DID then is it really a bpd symptom too? what’s the difference between the identity disturbances in each disorders? What counts as “impulsive behaviors” when the person is unable to have money use a car or have sex… I mean what else could count under that at that point? what does impulsive count as? what if u plan to buy a bunch of things and make lists of the items but don’t buy them bc u can’t or get ppl to make small purchases for u or impulsively buy items but only in games?

“Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.”

Does this hav to be in a manipulative way and what counts as a gesture or threat? /gen

“Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).”

So mood swings? Could this also be apart of other disorders? what makes it unique to bpd?

“Chronic feelings of emptiness.”

“Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger”

“Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms ”

If u have cptsd and did how can a professional KNOW that the symptoms aren’t just from that? can u meet the criteria for bpd but have the symptoms caused by a different pd and disorders?

like aspd and npd, bipolar, adhd, etc ?

like I’m just wondering I see people so commonly have both cptsd did and bpd but how do u tell the difference? and what does the criteria mean? bc they seem so similar sometimes /gen

im not really sure how to answer most of these because i feel like you're asking me for a list of examples for all/most of the questions but there's so many questions that making a list of examples would take me like, years to answer this whole thing lol. anyways everything under the cut bc this is already long :0]

on fear of abandonment

as far as i know yes it is a required symptom. it's the main symptom i have and the main reason why i was diagnosed as borderline

no - symptoms are not exclusive to only 1 mental illness

i dont know, every relationship is different. i've only ever heard of relationships like this in the context of bpd but i dont know for certain which % of dysfunctional relationships in this context include bpd

no, splitting is bpd-exclusive as far as im aware.

that probably varies from individuals lol. i cant give you a definitive answer. for some people yes it will be bpd but for some people it's not. its often very complicated

i dont know which disorders you're talking about so i dont know lol. an unstable sense of self is most commonly linked to bpd though

impulsive behavior is just... impulsiveness. for me in the past it's been related to eating or risky behaviors like playing with fire or blades. in relationships it was starting arguments or poking the bear. *almost* breaking my phone or laptop, stuff like that. impulsive behavior also varies a lot between individuals and their environment, but no access to money/sex/cars/drugs/whatever will not stop impulsivity, it always finds a way

compulsively using micro-transactions would still be impulsive/addiction depending on the severity. compulsiveness, impulsiveness, and addiction can still manifest in small ways

no that just means self-harm behaviors. self harm does not have to be manipulative, and in the context of bpd it often isn't directed towards other people, but its directed towards the self

yep mood swings! mood swings are absolutely not unique to bpd, many many other disorders have mood swings as a symptom

professionals Know You, thats how they know. they're... professionals! it's their job to know.

i meet diagnostic criteria for bpd, and am diagnosed with it, despite my symptoms actually being attributed to other things so yeah. it's a weird spot to be in because i do have bpd but i also technically dont at all. very strange.

adhd and bipolar disorder are not personality disorders! bipolar is a mood disorder and adhd is a general neurodivergency, not a mental illness.

if you're going to ask me about what criteria means you'll have to be more specific

[milqueandsugar]

🏵 Your Tea Is Ready 🏵

Parts:

https://milqueandsugar.tumblr.com/post/643788553154920448/can-you-techno-with-a-reader-who-is-constantly

https://milqueandsugar.tumblr.com/post/643889114110918656/idk-if-this-is-where-you-put-requests-but-do-you

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, injury

Genre: Angst

| Hear No Evil, Do No Evil |

After your second kind of a date kind of not a date your very cateful around Techno

Every part of you tells you your being paranoid, but the other knows that theres something he isn't telling you

You know the piglin to well not to know when he's lying

And you care to much to ignore it

Convinced he's done something to upset you Techno doesn't search for your company like he used to

Something both him and the voices aren't very happy about

Being in love is a new emotion for him, he loves Philza sure, he loves Steven but he's never been IN love

He never realized how different those statements were before

Just like when he goes to many days without a kill the voices begin to get louder and louder, only this time he had no idea how to please them

Before he had lost everything he could lose he used to lock himself away during these fits

Know that he knows himself better, and how to control himself, he just goes around slaying any animal that crossed paths with him

Not the most elegant solution but it brought more peace to his mind

Now with no idea how to get the voices quiet he's resorted to quite literally trapping himself in his bunker

He know's your upset

He's convinced himself it's because of him

Theres no way in hell he's going to see you when all he can think about is how good you smell, how your smile makes his frozen heart melt, how soft your skin is compared to his own, how lovingly you adjust his clothes or armour after battle

All the while he scars the stone ground with his claws, chanting mantras alongside unheard voices

It had been a good two weeks since you had heard from the piglin. Not entirely unusual for you, as you rather detested the cool weather up in the arctic. However knowing there was some sort of conflict between you and your best friend made you restless at night, you couldn't keep ignoring him. He didn't deserve that, plus you missed Philza's morning tea, the smell of campfires that clung to everything in his house, the way Steve would bring sticks for you to toss. You missed the magnificent bastards that made up the Antarctic empire. More importantly, you missed Technoblade.

By the time you reached the cabin you had noticed it was unusually still. Steve and Carl were out in the yard, mosing about but there was no sign of Technoblade or Philza. They were both pretty hard workers, stubborn as hell as well, seeing as it was half past twelve you would expect the two of them to be running around doing chores. Surprisingly however it was still, perhaps they had things inside to do? Or maybe they took your suggestion for a lunch break a bit more seriously then expected.

Entering the cabin you call out for them, nothing, looking around you couldn't help but notice how much of a mess everything was. You had only ever seen the house in this much disarray before they traveled, or that time Phil let a creeper into the house and things got fucken wild. But, if traveling was the case why was Carl out front? And why was Techno's sword hung up on the mantle.

And unsettling feeling began to creep over your shoulders as you slowly begin to pick up the clutter. You couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation for things, so you decided to wait until you could come up with one or was given one. The sun had long set before Phil arrived at the house, clearly surprised to find you still sorting through chests. Clearly worried as well.

You turn to greet the man but are quickly cut off, "what are you doing here?" He ushers quickly shitting the door behind him. "I was looking for Technoblade, why is something happening? Is the butcher gang back?" You explain, chest tightening with unease. Something was seriously wrong. "No, no nothing like that we aren't in any danger. Technoblade is having another fit, he's not doing very well at the moment. It might be best for you to leave" Phil warned, his usual cheerful voice dripping with a nervousness you hadn't heard from him in a long time. You wave off the older gentleman scoffing, "Phil you're forgetting I used to go hunting with him I've seen him pretty bad-" "He's locked himself in his bunker. He doesn't even trust himself anymore, he won't eat nor sleep, whatever he has going on in his head is far more then the two of us can handle at the moment" Phil cut you off. You stood in shock, he locked himself away? Technoblade hasn't done that in.. years! What the hell was going on with him.

You wanted to believe Phil was lying to you, that Technoblade was off terrorizing villagers and he was just buying his companion time. But the genuine look of fear in his emerald eyes made your stomach sink. "He's not well Y/N, I certainly don't want him to come back to you dead or injured. He'll come through eventually, just not right now. " The blonde approached you and wrapped strong arms around your shoulders, you hadn't even realized that you were crying until he began to shush you.

"Listen, listen, stay the night here. It's too late for you to travel especially in this sort of weather, in the morning I'll take you back home, I'll let you know immediately when hes better" He assures you, pulling away to cup your face in his hands and wipe your tears with his thumbs. "Let's get you to bed, come on, let's go." Fatherly wasn't something you saw much in Phil anymore, but you couldn't deny how comforting it was, if not a bit embarrassing to have the man tuck you into Techno's sheets before turning out the lamp.

As you lay in the blood God's bed, listening intently to the sound of the howling wind you began to scheme. Something you did best was planning, and this night was no different. You had no idea how long Techno had been like this, if you had the time to curse yourself for avoiding him you would, but for the moment you just needed to make sure he wasn't dead. Slipping from his bedroom and past Phil's you gather a plate of rather light food, knowing he'd get sick if he ate something to heavy.

Stealing one of the Piglins cloaks you shield the food with your arms as you sneak our of the house. You knew Philza only had your best interest at heart, but he should have known better then to tell you your friend was in danger. Especially when that friend was less then a brisk walk away. By the time you get to the false wall your already shivering, the wind nipping at anything it could get at. Your nose was already beginning to run as you hit the disguised button and the wall drops.

At first you see nothing, the darkness and the snow fall blinding you to the scene in front of you. Stepping into what little shelter the cave provided you struggled to steady yourself after stepping on what looked to be the remains of a netherite chestplate. Hung up on the fact that he broke netherite with supposedly his bare hands you don't realize the Piglin lunging at you until your buried in the snow. Plates long discarded and broken you stare the husk of the man you knew in his wild eyes.

Almost like you could read the voices chants of your demise in the pools of ebony fear seemed to strike you harder then his fist. You heard your ribs breaking before you felt them, thank God for adrenaline. You felt nauseous, sick even as you blindly scratch and push at the weight on top of you. Grabbing a tusk by its base you pull left as hard as you can, taking his moment of unbalance to scramble away. Your hands grope for any sort of hold in the snowbank, desperate to get away from the beast on top of you. You dont make it far however before claws tear at the clothes and skin around your ankles, pulling you towards them with little care. Your screams of pain and/or fear are cut short by clawed hands tightening around your throat. Your pathetically small ones meet his, scratching desperately at the exposed hand with one while the other grabs a fist full of snow and smashes it into his face.

The white of the snow falling around you seemed denser then before, you felt cold, to your very bone under him. Under his stare. You've looked death before in the eyes, more then on one occasion, and you had never remembered them being so beautiful. For a split second you swear you hear another voice being carried by the wind, peeling your tear welled eyes from the piglin on top of you the fall towards the direction of the cabin, then at the shards of netherite. You had looked death in the eyes before, and you had yet to die. You weren't going to now.

Grabbing the shard and effectively slicing your hand open in the process you blindly begin to swing. Your chest burns, your skin burns, your vision is beginning to dim to nothing, all you can hear is the wind. Your stabs, or attempts at stabbing does little, with what minuscule amount of consciousness you have in yourself you get one finally blow, to somewhere before you cant feel anything anymore. You had never imagined death to feel so cold.

Technoblade's eyes begin to fall back into focus, pain driving the voices in his head silent as he looks down at the shard of netherite in his arm. More importantly his eyes fall onto a golden ring on the hand belonging to his attacker. A bear etched into its surface. That was Y/N's ring, he had given it to her for christmas. Anger flooding his chest he grinds his teeth, hands tightening around their neck. What right do they have to be wearing your ring? Dark eyes fall back down onto their attacker, bloodied and bruised.. and Y/N. His heart sunk faster then an anvil in a lake, scrambling backwards from your limp body he cant decide whether to look at you or his hands covered in your blood. No, no it couldn't be you, you were.. you were mad at him why would you come up? Why would you attack him?

Crawling to his side he lifted you into his arms, inspecting you closely. This had to be some sort of trick, some sort of lie? No, no you would never attack him you loved him, he loved you! That's why he was like this he was like this because he loved you! Scared lips began to quiver, and tears began to fall and subsequently freeze to his cheeks. No, no, no.

He couldn't think, his mind flooded with the screaming of the voices in his head, begging him to save you, to help you, to hold you. For once in his life he didnt know how, he couldn't save you. He had always been your knight in shining armour, and he cant save you.

He can't save you.

[eggrestes]

ladrien fic recs!

there are SO MANY amazing ladrien fics i cant possibly cover them all but here are a few!

(all the ratings used are ao3 ratings)

((this is a very long post!))

FLUFF

Of Ivy and Sunlight by cyanise [ T, 1509 words, 1/1 ]

When Adrien takes to wandering the streets of Paris in ungodly hours, Ladybug has no choice but to keep an eye on him. Still, things are bound to get a little out of hand between two overloaded teenagers with a lot of love and not enough self-control. 

a lovely post-chat blanc fic :’) it has a great flow and is just soft and so sweet and it’s just perfect. gosh i cannot really say more other than read it!!! also almost all of their other stuff is also ladrien so do check it out!

This can't be happening by PlaPla [ T,  6,467 words, 1/2 ]

Ladybug is unsure whether accompanying Adrien to a gala as his not-date is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to her. But when their table mates turn out to be none other than her long time friends Alya and Nino and with Adrien acting weirder and weirder she finds herself with bigger worries than an unrequited crush.

a djwifi/ladrien double date? hit me up! i love identity shenanigans, ball dancing, ladrien, and djwifi and this is a perfect mix for me. i know it’s incomplete but it doesn’t end in a cliff-hanger really, the part 2 is just a promise of more so it doesn’t feel incomplete! PlaPla also has a short oneshot of ladrien going for a motorcycle ride.

Falling again by emsylcatac [ M,  4,506 words, 2 Works ]

They had been dancing around each other for a while now, and while fifteen year old Adrien would have been ecstatic at the idea of dating Ladybug in secret, twenty-two year old Adrien knew better. But Ladybug wasn’t making it easy. It was like… she, too, was falling for him. And that surprisingly enough, she didn’t mind.

* * *

Or Adrien trying (and failing) to keep things professional between him and Ladybug when the two of them partner up for a mission. Older AU

things are a little steamy~ here (don’t worry, it’s only implied it’s very mild and closer to a T rating than the M) but it’s a great mature take on their dynamics! emsy has more ladrien one-shots in her collection of one-shots!

i'd love to go on a date with you by sae_what  [ G,  6,480 words, 1/1 ]

Once it had been falsely announced throughout Paris that Adrien and Ladybug are in a relationship, Ladybug pays him a visit to turn him down gently.

Only, she doesn’t. And instead, she has a formal dinner date. With Adrien. At 8 pm. Tonight.

LADYBUG IN A SUIT!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. okay but for real it’s so sweet and also??? they are on a date!!! a rooftop date!! (too man exclamation marks oops)

Always Welcome by  chatonne-rousse [ T, 1,683 words, 1/1 ]

Ladybug knows that Adrien's window is always open for her to swing by and stop in, whether for video games or a chat or, like tonight, for soft kisses and sweet nothings.

He loves these visits. His girlfriend is always welcome. Always. (Especially for kisses.)

Written for Ladrien June, day 8: bluebell eyes.

established relationship, pre-reveal ladrien. there is something very home-y about this fic and it’s all about the comfort and quiet that i adore about it!

Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir) by agrestenoir [ T,  1,923 words, 1/1]

Gabriel Agreste keeps finding Ladybug in his son's bedroom. As a super villain and father, this will not stand.

this crack fic is... honestly so hilarious. it’s all through gabrie-i-am-trying-to-parent-and-failing-a-lot-agreste’s POV so it is so much ridiculous! 

an uncurtain discovery by  Missnoodles [ T, 4,684 words, 1/1 ]

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Adrien is being a cat and gets tangled in the curtains on his window and it’s utterly ridiculous. all the bug and the cat tendencies make it funnier and adrien’s inner monologue is just a cherry on top!

secret valentine by a_miiraculer [ T,  12,245 words, 1/1 ]

this is the moment that we will come alive brace yourself for love sweet love, secret love

If Adrien had known that getting himself stuck in a tree would end like this, he would've gotten himself stuck sooner.

A drabble series.

i just,,,, don’t have words for how much i love it! it’s ridiculous, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s whole-some and just ladrien. the writer also has a M rated multi-chapter ladrien kissing (no the M is very much real here) and a heroic adrien and ladybug one-shot too! 

Those Benevolent Stars by peachcitt [ G,  23,696 words, 3/3 ]

“Will you come back?”

She looked up at the deep blue sky, as if she could somehow find the answer there. “I shouldn’t,” she said, shaking her head and looking back at him. But the stars were still there, caught in her eyes, and Adrien persisted.

“But will you?”

or

adrien meets his soulmate, a thief who calls herself ladybug. he falls for her, but she seems determined to maintain a space between them.

oh my god this au.... just no words!! it’s poetry and it’s tender and it’s about the yearning and just!!! perfect :’). Her current ongoing ladrien june fic is also akin to this (and the fic i linked before it) so do check it out too! (literally check out all of their works it’s so beautiful)

Flowers on the Window Sill by LNC [ G,  2,144 words, 1/1 ]

The first time Ladybug saw him, really saw him, the universe stopped.

this fic feels like poetry and it’s so lovely. LNC is always short and direct but it always hits right in the feels while also being hilarious. Her  other ladrien works are just as good and i highly recommend going through them because it fulfills all of the ladrien needs (along with Reiaji)

whatever a sun will always sing is you by komorebirei [ T,  32,980 words, 37/37 ]

“I didn't think you'd actually... do anything," Adrien admitted, cheeks prickling with warmth. "I-I mean, I never expected... I didn't know you watched my interviews.” That definitely wasn’t how he'd imagined confessing to Ladybug.

“Of course I do!” Ladybug squeaked. “Uhh, that is…” She looked down at her hands, nervously turning her yo-yo over, over and over. “Maybe you’re not the only one with a crush.”

(After an unexpected confession, Ladybug and Adrien start dating in secret. A progressive character- and relationship-study quilted from drabbles, with the intention of digging treasure out of the cove that is Ladrien. Written using kashimalin-fanfiction's kiss writing prompts from Tumblr.)

it does such an excellent job at exploring this dynamic along with the characters. it’s such a sweet fic, each chapter short and fun!

ANGST

whose woods these are (I think I know.) by  Reiaji [ T,  105,000 words, 25/25 ]

Four years after his future turns to cinders, Adrien is a servant in the house he was meant to inherit. Disowned by his father and abused by his stepmother, his days are filled with drudgery until he meets a masked huntress in the forest behind his father's chateau.

As his friendship with Ladybug turns to first love, he dreams of a future spent at her side.

Then, on the eve of the Princess's masquerade, he meets his guardian—and is granted a wish.

[Ladrien Cinderella AU]

Warnings: Child abuse, Graphic depiction of violence

this is absolutely gorgeous. it has so many troupes and so many amazing character arc and great build up and everything just flows so well. it left me in awe for weeks and i just. want to experience reading it for the first time again. look at this gorgeous art inspired by this! {and you have to read  leonard bernstein too because LETTERS and LADRIEN and YEARNING}

i would do it again (oh, a thousand times) by bugabisous [ T, 2,266 words, 1/1 ]

Knowing you can bring someone back doesn’t mean you’re free of the pain of seeing them disappear before your eyes. He can’t imagine he’ll be able to look at her directly without replaying every horrifying moment when he felt her slip away in a puff of smoke.

When it happens once again, he already knows he’ll be trying again. He just can’t give up.

it expands on adrien’s feelings in the episode desperada (my beloved <3) and it is just ouch. such great angst, such great potential. the kind of tragedy that it offers is unusual for ml (it gets only rivaled by chat blanc tbh). to rival this angst bugabisous also has a fluffy one-shot :)

when the world gets too heavy (put it on my back) by Taliax [ T, 4,720 words, 1/1 ]

Chat Noir isn't allowed to cry over his father. But even when he's just Adrien, Ladybug won't abandon him.

Hawkmoth reveal hurt/comfort + Ladrien

the plagg and adrien bond written is just perfect, and oh this hits right in the feels :’) it hurts all in the right way. tali also has so many other ladrien works in all genres too

By Your Side by omniousunflower [ T, 4,361 words, 1/1 ]

(Angry and alone, Adrien waits on top of the Eiffel Tower for his lady.)

“So, how did my kitty get stranded up here?” Ladybug asks.

Groaning, Adrien pulls his knees toward his chest and presses his face against them. “Because he’s stupid and impulsive.”

“Chasing pigeons, then?”

“No.” Shame burns in Adrien’s veins, white-hot now that Ladybug is here to witness his stupidity. “I threw my Miraculous, and Plagg wouldn’t get it for me.”

post-hawkmoth defeat, and adrien is not doing well at all. i am cheating because it is post reveal, pre relationship but it’s still ladrien. this fic is a roller coater of emotions, starting from a slightly crack scenario to a cute, awkward, hopeful ending.  More Than You Know is another of sunny’s angsty ladrien work!

Breaking The Rules (AKA The Ladrien Fistfight) by ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap [ T, 8,714 words, 1/1 ]

Marinette may or may not be dying, but she’s still going to do her best to fix every single problem in the world. She’s not expecting Adrien to be the one who tries to stop her. (Takes place immediately after Kwami Buster)

Warnings: panic attack, broken bones, PTSD. please read the tags!

*slaps this fic* this fic can fit in so much angst. it just?? left me in PAIN oof. it says ‘ladrien fistfight’ on the lid but nooo there is marinette is just having a freak out and it’s all so much??!! and it’s not just marinette there is adrien too and chloe and alya and- wow it’s amazing. love it so much it fills up my angst needs :’)

so that’s it for now! my personal commentary isn’t impressive nor does it do justice to the fic but i still hope you read a few of these!! happy reading!!

[itsthe-neo-zone]

Married To Mr Choi - TXT Series

Please read the Masterlist before continuing ahead with the chapter. (Check the warnings and read the interlude before reading the first chapter. Thank you)

Chapter 1: 

Every young girl dreams of her moment, the one where she drapes a sweet pearl gown over her figure and the sparkiest diamond headpiece over the crow of her head. Some even go as far as filling the grooms place with their ever-growing recent crush they have over the boy next door or their special friend in nursery.

Even I had those thoughts, me being the pride and joy of my family, the youngest girl -the only girl- in my house. The house of Tesoro, or Treasure in other words. Noble, famous, and extremely rich. Surely my moment in the snow gown and tiara would be the talk of the century? My marriage would be to the one I find, my soulmate, the true love and my prince that would save me from the towers I was locked in.

But as I stand here in front of my reflection, I didn’t feel any of the infatuations that I had as a young girl. No giddy or jittering feeling at the silky lace skin I wore over my own.

“What do you think of this one?”

“I don’t like it.”

A loud sigh sounded from behind me, she wasn’t even trying to hid it. The frustration dripping from between her teeth.

“I initiated the marriages for all 8 of your brothers and when I want to finally celebrate your coming of age you make my suffer through like this?”

“You didn’t even think about it sis.” A mutter came from the back. I wanted to turn and snap back at San but if it wasn’t for the overly extravagant and 8-pound heavy train splayed behind me. It blocked my movements if I wasn’t able to walk now how I was going to wear it on my freaking wedding day.

“Let’s see if we can try finding a middle ground for both the bride and her mother.” The assistant interrupted, feeling the tension thicken around the room.

She helped me down and as I pulled at the thick material against myself to avoid the troublesome look of tripping up. This whole ordeal was embarrassing, especially since I know this marriage wasn’t going to ever work out.

As I finished changing out of the dress and into the cotton robe that had chaffed my skin from the amount of dressing and undressing, I heard a light knock on my door.

“Come in.” I fixed and tugged at the robe covering myself thoroughly

“Are you feeling ok?” it was san, he pulled at the door and closed shut after he slipped inside. Locking it.

“No.”

“Why’s that.” He took a seat making himself comfortable on one of the many plush fuchsia armchairs scattered in the dressing lounge. “Is it the dresses? Or maybe mothers choice in compliments?”

He hummed in a sing song way, but I was no way in the mood to be teased and joked with. “I don’t call those compliments. She called me fat in one of the dresses and it wasn’t even me. It was the stupid cut of the dress.” My feet stomped a few times.

Smirking at the small pout that graced my lips, he played with a set of pearl beads that were hanging off the vanity. It was odd seeing my eldest brother in these types of surroundings. His work clothes didn’t match one bit. The gun strapped at his hips didn’t seem too friendly either.

It sacred most of the friendly and feminine-like workers and assistants in the bridal wear shop. But I was used to their outlandish and odd looks they wore. All part of their job, I guess.

“Just pick any goddamn dress and prepare yourself. Lets get this over with.” He stood up setting down the jewellery. “You know this is all for social reasons.”

“It’s unfair.” I stepped away turning my back. San could be volatile when he wants to be. Harsh and ruthless in his emotions, unlike Wooyoung.

“I know. But sometimes we have to do things we don’t like Mila. Deal with it.” He muttered; I could hear the gritting of his teeth beneath the sputtering of words.

“This is marriage. It isn’t a gathering I’m attending or befriending someone I hate. This can’t be undone.”

“So? You’re not marrying any random freak. This is the Choi family were talking about.” He thudded his steps to the door brushing slightly past me his boots hitting against the soft carpet mimicked the sound of muffled thunder.

“Mila, if you want peace of mind, you’ll marry him with no complaints, it’s whats best for the family.”  

‘its whats best for the family’

those words made my blood boil and my fists clench hard. Always those meaningless and hurtful words, so degrading and painful to my own thoughts and neglectful of my own desires.

I watched him push past the threshold of the doorway and push past the trembling assistant that was tugging at dresses double or triple her weight.

“I have a few more dresses I think you may like.”

“I don’t know about that.” Sighing I slip the robe off my body for the 60th time today.

“She actually picked a dress this time. Yes. Finally. So love are you going to be here for the ceremony.” The soft voice spoken mutedly and with a tone of contentment came from the main salon.

“Oh that’s good news. The sooner the better.” I heard mothers words muttered from the hallway. Gracing down the corridors I didn’t ever mean to listen in, but her voice and words were intriguing. It seems like she was talking to my father.

I rushed past the main doors making a beeline to my room. There on one of the soft ottomans sat Wooyoung.

“What are you doing here brother?” pushing the door shut with a soft click I turn to face him. He was adorned in his work clothes.

A dark shirt with his gun holster peaking out from underneath the leather jacket. His hair was ruffled up and he was wearing tight slacks with black wing tip oxfords. He had his handgun between his fingers swinging it round. I subconsciously hoped he had his safeguard on.  

“This is a pleasant surprise.” I sat at the edge of my bed lips in a tight line as I pushed a smile.

“Are you not happy with this wedding?” I let out an exasperated sigh. Not this again. Wooyoung doesn’t live with us. He’s married and he has his own estate a distance from here, this is the first time he’s heard of these complaints and I have a hint on who had blurted. His name begins with S.

“Did San tell you?”

“You know he cant keep his lips shut when he’s with me.” I nod glancing downwards.

“Mila, you know I picked this marriage for you. I wouldn’t choose someone that I know can’t look after you.”

“I know but I would have been happier to choose myself.” I played with the ends of my hair, twirling the soft strands around the tip of my finger.

“Marrying that Christopher guy would have been good for you but not for the family.” His eyes wavered slightly. He didn’t catch my lingering gaze. “You’re being self-centred when thinking about this.”

“And shouldn’t I be? It’s my marriage.”

“Christopher bang isn’t part pf this underground work his family have no presence in the mafia realm, so he won’t be of use to you?”

“To us, you’re a part of this.” The grunt leaving his mouth as he stood up warned me, I was entering dangerous territory.

“Really wish I wasn’t.”

The black wavy hair obscured his vison from me rendering me completely confused. He didn’t show much of his emotions, ever since we were young, I could only see them from his eyes. He wasn’t going to like those words no matter what I said.

“The truth is, you’re marrying from the choi family and that’s that.” His voice left no room for discussion. An exhale left my lips as I watched him leave. Judging from the direction his footsteps took he was going towards the salon.

 I had the afternoon to myself later after that heated discussion and the morning excursion. So I decided to take a bath and meet up with a friend, Afterall the afternoon was one of the last I would spend with a close friend as unmarried young ladies.

“So?” Yuna glanced to me before reaching out for her smoothie blend, we had both ordered, “You’re really marrying him?”

I wasn’t looking at her, my head was filled with many worries and they kept gnawing, taking as much of a chunk of my brain as they wanted. “Yeah I guess I am, marrying a Him.” I chewed at the ends of my lips slightly.

It feels different when I say it out loud, it feels real, it’s really happening having my lips voice what was coming gave me that reality check. I didn’t have any control over what was happening, and it was all slipping out of my hands like sand, I couldn’t stop a thing or grasp it.

Its sacred me.

“I heard one of the Choi brothers is married already.” Yuna spoke with caution. “You should double check about that, y’know?” taking another sip she set the glass down before moving closer, I could see her doe eyes from my peripheral.

“I’m not surprised. Anyone working in their fields has to hasten and rush in their life, everyday could be their last day living.” I mutter.

Bringing my glance from the fields of greenery in the estate towards the summer blend of fruit before me, I spare her a quick look before realizing she’s staring expectantly at me.

“What?”

“Nothing, it feels weird.”

I huff, I wasn’t expecting that.

“You shouldn’t think too much, its tiresome for you…” smirking I lift the glass mimicking her movements earlier.

“It’s just, we’ve grown up together Mila, we know almost everything there is to know about each other,” she shifted a little, her blond hair strands falling to shield her face. “I just- its…I never imagined this is how out would go for you.”

“Neither did I, what can we do though?”

A short pause was left between the two of us and as I was relishing in the moment of peace it took me back to when I was a child, not too long ago.

I loved the freedom and the happiness me and my brothers shared. Our innocence the purity on our fingertips.

“Run away?” Yuna offered but as she did, she let a giggle out smiling happily back at me. Yuna seemed so happy. I wish I could be the same. I was so envious of her.

“I wish I could do that Nana.”

I really did, now that we’ve all grown up it seems that the responsibilities piled up and increased.

The pressure toiled above our heads high and the hands my brothers had once filled with purity were covered in drenching blood. The guilt was intolerable they had learnt over the years to let go of it. Some - San - threw away all their emotions to give themselves peace of mind.

When I was a young girl, dreams of wearing a flowing white dress and holding hands with my prince was all I ever dreamed about.

I was infatuated and obsessed with the thought. We all are as young girls…

The idea was all that pushed me, I was oblivious to the happiness that was being sucked and stolen from us. Till this day I blame myself for my brothers situation. It hurts to see the empty voids of stone cold and ice grey look at me. It’s like they’re taunting me. This is what you’ve done. It’s all your fault.

Everything came at a price, this lavish lifestyle and our family legacy, I lost my family for all this and I’m about to lose my future too. 

That night, the insomnia came back to haunt me, i didn't get a seconds rest.

 ~~~

My fingers were getting tired, but I pushed through, I hadn’t reached anywhere, it was getting tiring trying to memorize the last few parts of this piece and it just wasn’t sticking in my head for some reason.

“First you spill the glass of juice, and now this?” San sniggers throwing himself against the main sofa adjacent to me. For someone who lived in an estate surrounded by lush fields and the glimmering view of a large pool reflecting onto the ceiling above me, I was too melancholic.

“What?” I snap back. Throwing a glare at him I continue fixing the thin strands of string on the harp I sat at. “It’s just not my day, is it…” I mumble gnawing on my lips subconsciously.

“If that’s correct then it’s not your month Mila?” the snickering continued. He clearly had nothing better to do today.

“Oh be quiet,” I rubbed the tips of my fingers, the creases were starting to form again.

“No I’m being serious. Why you always so bitter.”

“Leave her alone San.” A distinct grumbling and barely familiar voice entered the main salon. The tall male made his way across the entryway and into the open cuisine corner past the bar.

It had been a long time since I had heard his dull and monotonous voice echoing past the halls of the manor.

“Seonghwa, what a pleasant surprise.” San’s voice dripped with feigned adoring. He was just pushing his limits at this point and Seonghwa had low patience when it came to these decisions.

“Brother, how have you been.”

“Fine.” He grunted in response, seemed like something was on his mind troubling him. “Congratulations on the marriage news Mila.”

“Thanks.” I visibly cringed out of defence. San being the calculating and sly bane noticed the change in my demeanour.

“I wouldn’t congratulate her, knowing princess Mimi here,” he waved the pointer finger towards me  “she’d want the wedding over in any way possible.” The younger male smirked flinging his head back against the armrest of the extended chaise longue.

“Stop.” I mouthed, slightly hissing at him. He just wouldn’t cut his snarky attitude. I secretly hoped he’d choke on one of the grapes he was dropping into his mouth.

“Mila, is this true?”

I paused sighing. I noticed I’ve been doing that a lot more than the usual the past few days. Looking up to the taller male I caught his eyes with mine. They were blank.

From the early age of 6, I was amazed at how he could manipulate his voice to show emotion and sound genuine, when he truly felt not a single ounce of care or love for anyone or anything. Seonghwa being from a different mother along with my older brothers, it felt strange to have him around and so I never got to see him that much.

“I… it’s just-”

“Mila.” If I ever hated to hear my name come out of anyone’s voice in a calling tone it was my mothers. It gave me anxiety just hearing the two syllables.

“Yes mother?” I was barely able to blurt out the response, through my teeth I uttered the words loud enough for her to hear and enter the room.

“There you are, listen up.” “I just got off the phone with Mrs Choi, the date has been set and their family have accepted. Prepare yourself,”

“For what, when?” San asking the questions I needed to hear made me feel mixed emotions and all at the same time.

I felt grateful. I knew I couldn’t ,move my own tongue. It felt heavy. I opened my mouth, but I didn’t know what to say. It was like all knowledge of speaking had been erased from my mind.

At an unchanging moment I felt a rage and burning fury against him for being so oblivious and blind. Deep down I didn’t want to hear it. I never wanted to overhear a thing about this topic. I didn’t want him to ask, shed have to answer that way.

I already knew, I knew it from the moment she entered the room a bright grin plastered on her face. It wasn’t the marriage that had given me a little shock it was how soon it was.

I swore to myself that for a short moment, felt my heart pause. Was this what people said when they felt themselves have a heart attack?

 “You’re getting married, tomorrow.”

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #65: Francis Drake

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making The Woman who Brought Down the Sun, Sir Francis Drake! Everything Drake does, she goes all in: big guns, bigger cannons, and the biggest treasures you ever seen.

Check out the complete breakdown below the cut, or the summary over here!

Race and Background

You’re a Human, but beating Poseidon isn’t something most people can do so we’ll call you a variant one. This nets you +1 to Dexterity and Charisma, proficiency in Sleight of “Hand” for stashing away the grail, and the Lucky feat. You probably want people to think it was skill, but only you know for sure. You’re also a Pirate, giving you proficiency in Athletics, Perception, Navigator’s tools, and Water vehicles.

Stats

Make sure your Charisma is your highest stat; your personality cuts you a bigger path than your prow does. Next is Dexterity, you’re good with guns, and the occasional theft. Third is Constitution, voyages around the world are not for the faint of heart. After that is Wisdom, you don’t fall for other people’s bullshit. Your Intelligence is a bit low, but we needed other things more, and we’re dumping Strength. In reality all servants would have 20s in every stat, but we’re not using strength too much anyway, so it’s not a huge issue.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: First level rogues get proficiency in Dexterity and Intelligence saves, as well as four rogue skills; Deception and Intimidation will help you talk your way into the sweetest treasure maps, Stealth will help you nab the ones you can’t, and Acrobatics will help you avoid getting shot when stealth goes out the window.

When you start as a rogue, you gain Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonuses in Athletics and Intimidation. You also learn Thieves’ Cant, letting you talk with other pirates with no fear of being overheard. (It also works on landlubbing thieves, if you really have to.) Finally, you can perform a Sneak Attack on creatures once per turn if you have advantage or there’s an ally within 5′ of your target, adding 1d6 to the damage roll.

To make a sneak attack, you need a ranged or finesse weapon. Your main weapons are your Hand Crossbows, but I’d keep a dagger or two on hand just in case.

2. Rogue 2: Your Cunning Action lets you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action. 

3. Rogue 3: Third level rogues see their sneak attack increase to 2d6, and they get their archetype. The Swashbuckler makes you a true pirate, with Fancy Footwork and Rakish Audacity. The former prevents attacks of opportunity from creatures you make melee attacks against. The latter adds your charisma to your initiative, and you can use your sneak attack if you’re fighting a creature in melee range one on one. That’s not amazing right now, since we’re mostly using ranged weapons, but hang on one level.

4. Rogue 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become a Crossbow Expert. You can ignore the loading aspect of crossbows, use them in melee range without disadvantage, and attack with an offhand crossbow as a bonus action if you use your action to attack with a one-handed weapon. Despite pulling a trigger being way less effort than swinging a sword, you can’t effectively dual-wield crossbows without this feat. Regardless, Rakish Audacity is based on distance, not the weapon you’re using, so now nothing is safe from your sneak attacks.

5. Sorcerer 1: If you’re going to lead the Wild Hunt you’ll need to have a little storm in you, and Storm Sorcerer is the perfect way to go about it. When you become a sorcerer, you learn Spells that use your Charisma to cast. You also become a Wind Speaker, meaning you know Primordial and its dialects. You also learn Tempestuous Magic, letting you spend your bonus action to move 10′ before or after casting a spell without provoking attacks of opportunity. Technically this is flying, but it’s most effective to just move yourself horizontally and pretend you’re walking.

You learn a bunch of spells at this level, and most of the ones you’ll learn can be reflavored to cannons pretty easily. For cantrips, grab Acid Splash to throw your drink into someone’s face, Thunderclap for a small cannon, Light for a torch, Booming Blade to help hold someone at gunpoint. 

For your spells proper, Thunderwave is a bigger cannon, and Magic Missile can be some grapeshot.

6. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers become a Font of Magic, gaining a number of sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level. Right now they can only be used for an extra spell slot, but you’ll get more uses. Eventually.

For your spell, Catapult lets you launch anything suitably heavy at someone’s head. Dangerous and hilarious.

7. Rogue 5: Back in your main class, you learn the Uncanny Dodge, letting you react to halve the damage from a single attack. Your sneak attack become 3d6.

8. Rogue 6: Use your second round of Expertise to double up on Deception and Perception to lie your way out of (and into) more situations, and possibly avoid them entirely by seeing them coming.

9. Rogue 7: Seventh level rogues get Evasion, meaning when you need to roll dexterity saves to take half damage, you now take 0 damage on a success and half damage on a failure. Rogues don’t have great HP as it is, and we’re cutting into sorcerer. Be thankful for every bit of damage mitigation you can have. Your sneak attack becomes 4d6.

10. Rogue 8: Use your second ASI to round up your Dexterity for a better AC and more accurate shots, as well as your Wisdom for better saves.

11. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers learn two Metamagic options to flavor their spells. With Empowered Spell, you can spend one sorcery point to reroll a number of damage dice on a spell, up to your charisma modifier, to keep those cannons hot. Twinned Spell takes the spell’s level sorcery points, but you can target two different creatures with the same spell. There’s a lot you can do on your turn; it pays to be efficient.

Speaking of spells, here’s one you can’t twin. Shatter gives you an even bigger cannon blast that can even deal property damage!

12. Sorcerer 4: According to our flavor, your spells are actually other people firing cannons, so it stands to reason they should be able to do that even if your hands are full. The War Caster feat we’re grabbing with this level’s ASI makes that dream a reality- you also get advantage on concentration saves and can use spells as attacks of opportunity. Sadly, it has to only target the one creature, so most of your spell list won’t help.

Speaking of spells that won’t help, Friends will help you open doors with diplomacy, and Knock will help you open doors with a giant cannon. Is there anything cannons can’t do?

13. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get third level spells, and the classic Fireball will give you one spicy cannon.

14. Sorcerer 6: At this level you get another round of goodies from being the leader of the wild hunt. You get the Heart of the Storm, making you resistant to thunder and lightning damage, and you erupt when dealing those damage types through spells. When casting those spells, creatures you choose within 10′ of you take half your sorcerer level in lightning or thunder damage, no saves necessary. You also become a Storm Guide, letting you make subtle changes to the weather around you. If it’s raining, you can use an action to stop the rain in a 20′ radius around you to keep the tinder dry, and end the effect as a bonus action. If it’s windy, you can use your bonus action each turn to change the direction of the wind within 100′ of you. I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but being able to control the wind on a ship is pretty goddamn useful.

Speaking of pretty goddamn useful, that’s exactly what Haste is. It doubles a willing creature’s speed, adds 2 to their ac, gives them advantage on dexterity saves, and they get another action each turn. This lasts up to a minute, but when it ends the affected creature can’t move or act for one turn. You’ve probably got heavier damage dealers that could use this, but don’t be afraid to step in yourself. You don’t really get any multiattacks, so if you want to fan that hammer, here’s how you do it.

15. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers should get fourth level spells, but to be honest I don’t really like them. So let’s go back and grab Lightning Bolt. It’s another massive cannon, and this one triggers your Heart of the Storm too.

16. Rogue 9: Ninth level rogues see their sneak attack grow to 5d6, and swashbucklers gain Panache. You can use your action to contest your persuasion versus another creature’s insight. If they fail, one of two things happen. If they’re hostile, they have disadvantage when attacking non-you creatures, and they can’t make attacks of opportunity against you for up to a minute, or until your duel is interrupted. If they aren’t, they’re charmed for up to a minute or until you harm them, treating you as a friendly acquaintance. And friends show their friends their treasure maps, right?

17. Rogue 10: Another ASI. We didn’t actually take persuasion as a proficiency, so we’ll just have to make our Charisma better to make up for it. This also has the side effect of beefing up our spell saves. Whoops.

18. Rogue 11: Your sneak attack is now 6d6, and you have Reliable Talent. When making checks in skills you’re proficient with, you’ll always roll at least a 10. This means your best skills have a minimum check of 20 (or 26 if you’ve got expertise), which is pretty good.

19. Rogue 12: Another ASI. Bump up your Dexterity to make more skills your best skills, improve your AC, and become more accurate and deadly with your crossbows.

20. Rogue 13: Cap off the build with one last bump to sneak attack, maxing out at 7d6. You also get one last feature from being a swashbuckler; the Elegant Maneuver. You can use a bonus action during your turn to get advantage on your next Acrobatics or Athletics check made in the same turn. Honestly getting this after Reliable Talent makes it pretty much useless, and you’ve got a lot of other things to spend your bonus action doing. But hey, if you’re trying to jump from a sinking ship, it’s not gonna hurt to take extra precautions.

Pros:

You’re very mobile, with multiple ways to move around the battlefield without getting stabbed, and even some limited flight. This will help you move around to tempting targets and take them out with a quick sneak attack bolt.

You also excel at ranged damage, with both powerful crossbow bolts and spells for a lethal combination at a distance.

You’ve got good social skills, and a couple other out-of-combat bonuses too. Being able to control a ship at will is a niche skill, but when you need it it’ll probably be very handy.

Cons:

You don’t have a lot of HP, barely breaking the 100 point mark. This means taking even a light scratch will put you in Power Word Kill range. Besides that, your hyper-aggressive build won’t last long if you end up surrounded.

You also have a ton of stuff to do with your bonus actions. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it will make your turns pretty difficult. You can: attack, hide, dash, disengage, cast a spell, fly, change the wind, or get advantage on a skill check. And that decision is something you’ll have to make each turn. Being the captain is complicated.

Mixing martial and magic classes gives you a lot more flexibility, but you’re not as strong as if you focused. Neither ability is maxed, and your sneak attacks and spells are weaker than a pure rogue or sorcerer.

That being said, you’re not here for power building, you’re here to blow open a vault and take what’s inside. This build should be able to do that more than easily enough. Just make sure to keep Blackbeard away from the loot.

Next up: Double Trouble

[big1ron]

~ Ghosts: A Very Self Indulgent Clone Wars Story. Part 1 of ? ~

~ Title says it all. Includes a few but not all of the clones. More Jedi centrered this time, no I don’t care if that’s not how the force works it is now. Rated E for everyone. ~

~ yes I will get back to the other story very soon don’t worry about it ~

It had been a month since umbara but it felt like way less. No matter how much time it still seemed fresh in everyone’s minds. The world the 501st and 212th had been deployed on wasn’t helping any either. It was currently dark, and foggy. And chilly. It wasn’t below zero, but it was cold.

Tup couldn’t sleep. The atmosphere reminded him far to much of umbara and it was to cold in the barracks to rest. Plus his favourite heat source had run off. The nerve. So, he paced the halls outside the barracks. The planet already had a base built, as it was republic controlled. But the battalions had been sent there in preparation for a large scale separatist attack. That didn’t help his nerves. Nor did the fact he had heard the general and the commander discussing this planets unusual force and supernatural activity. But of course, that was just stories they tell to scare young padawans.

Suddenly he felt a chill and saw some of the thick fog from outside roll into the halls. That was weird... he walked in the direction it was coming from to see what was up.

It was coming from the hangar. The hangar doors should be closed for the night, but instead they were wide open. In fact, Tup knew they were closed before. How did someone get them open alone, and so quietly? The fog was pouring in from the outside and there was a dark figure standing alone in the massive opening. Only their shadow visible against the pale grey-blue of moonlight lit fog. The hangar still had all the lights off so he couldn’t make out any details.

“H-Hey... you’re not supposed to be here!” Oh tup hated the way his voice trembled. He shouldn’t be scared here, he could take whoever it was, even without a blaster. But it felt incredibly off. Whoever that was, didn’t feel like a vod.

Whoever it was turned around and their two glowing eyes pierced through the fog and right into tup.

“D-Dogma? Is that you?” It certainly looked like Tups brother, and of what Tup could make out, had the same armour. But it felt wrong. Very wrong.

Two double bladed lightsabers folded open, cutting through the dark. A green sabre in his left hand, and blue in his right. Tup screamed loud enough to wake the whole barracks.

Whoever it was cleared the distance between them in almost no time flat, way faster than a clone should be able to move. But in the light of the sabres, Tup finally got a good look at who it was. It really was Dogma. He had been right the first time. But at the same time, it wasn’t. Everything from his body language to the bloodthirsty hatred in his eyes while his face remained close to neutral wasn’t the brother Tup knew. It was beyond unnerving. And the low whir of these specific lightsabers was familiar to him. As if he could ever forget what the traitor Krell’s own lightsabers sounded like.

Tup backed away, dodging the strikes as they fell towards him. There weren’t any openings in the attackers defences, and Tup was just in his blacks. It was all he could do not to be struck through with each blow.

“What are you doing!? What’s going on!?” Tup rolled out of the way of another attack, but by the looks of it the other trooper was done playing around with him and the next strike made contact. Tup was struck through his shoulder and down across his chest. But before the second, killing strike could be placed, a squad of five troopers entered the hangar and opened fire.

The blasts were deflected and dodged, tup was thrown against the wall with an invisible shove. The attacker dashed towards the troopers, and with a few expertly placed swings the squad was quickly dispatched. The attacker disappeared into the base as Tup’s vision faded.

“Someone’s causing quite a ruckus in the hangar right now. Im surprised you’re not awake.” Qui-gon jin was standing near obi-wans bed, obiwan was still asleep. He was on his side, facing away. Face pressed against the pillow. “You know... it’s something big this time. Your troopers are in serious danger.” Quigon didn’t really expect obiwan to get up, or respond. He never did.

“They’ll be fine. Go bother cody” obiwan mumbled into his pillow.

“No I- wait, did you just respond to me?!”

“Mmmm should i not’ve?” Obiwan rolled over and suddenly the realization hit him and he sat straight up with a jolt “WAIT MASTER QUIGON?!”

“Yes, I’ve been here the whole time. I thought you couldn’t see me! You’ve been ignoring me this entire time?!”

“No, no of course not! I just couldn’t see you until now! Wait, you said something about disaster in the hangar?” Obiwan got up and threw on his outer robes, grabbing the lightsaber on his bedside table. Quigon disappeared.

Obiwan rushed to the hangar and immediately stopped when he saw the five dead troopers near the entrance. He cursed quietly under his breath. Not quick enough. He ignited his lightsaber and sensed what he could from the room. The hangar doors were open, but he only felt one other life form in the room, and it was weak. Not whichever separatist had done this. If it had been a separatist at all. This attack was unusual. The doors left wide open but no droid force, and all these wounds were from lightsaber. He pressed a button on his comm link

“This is General Kenobi, the bass is under attack. The separatists are already inside the building, I want all squads active!”

The security system kicked on and Kenobi approached the other life form slowly. It was a trooper, attacked with a lightsaber just like the other five. This one didn’t have armour on, probably couldn’t sleep. The trooper was shaking, but it wasn’t that cold. He didn’t have much time, but still he ripped a strip of material from the bottom of his cloak to wrap the wound, and wake the trooper. As he thought, he was terrified.

“Can you tell me what you saw, trooper?” Obiwan kept his voice steady and calm.

“Krell he... Krells dead he cant... he-it’s...-“ Tup was falling over his words and Obiwan gave up on trying to get a straight answer once he realized this was an umbara trooper. He heard a distant lightsaber activate and quickly gave Tup the rest of his cloak and took off back down the hall he came.

Kenobi came face to face with anakin and ahsoka. Definitely not so he was looking for. Right? Right.

“They hit the command room. Communications still seem to be working fine, but all the trooper in there were attacked.” Anakin reported.

“Any survivors? Do you know who it is? One of your troopers is alive in the hangar but he couldn’t give me a straight answer. If we know who this is we’ll have a better chance of stopping them.”

“No survivors. But-“ all three of their comms beeped, alerting them to an occurrence in the western corridor, near the main power generator. Anakin and ahsoka took the main route while obiwan split off on a different route, to corner them.

The power cut out for a second as the knight and padawan made their way to the generator, before the backup lighting kicked on. Anakin and ahsoka could see a blue and green glow across the wall as they turned a corner, expecting to see General grievous. Instead they saw a clone, retrieving a double bladed lightsaber from a freshly stabbed brother.

“What are you doing!?” Anakin growled. His eyes told him that was one of his own men, but the force screamed danger and darkness. The clone turned to face the two Jedi, grinning at them.

The clone spoke, and it was a mixture between a clones voice and something else entirely. “You don’t know what these are, do you? Clones are weapons, created to turn on their makers. Mutiny is in their blood. I’m doing you all a favour. But I suppose you are still to naive to see that.”

“My men are completely loyal! None of them would turn against the republic. Not like you... I know who you are” Anakin was holding back, he did know who this was, but he didn’t know what, or how it was. If he struck now, it would be in fury and confusion

Ahsoka shot anakin a puzzled look, not understanding. “Master, isn’t this one of our men?” She asked quietly.

“No. This is the traitor Jedi. Pong Krell.” Anakin took a high swing, parried. Four blades left little opening in his defences. Anakin gave a slight force shove to off balance krell before striking for the middle, parried, fake mid and a high strike and- anakin is force thrown down the hall. He didn’t see the trooper’s hand even move for such an attack. Krell fled, and Ahsoka went after him. But he activated a blast door with the force and jumped through before ahsoka could.

Anakin was up and right beside ahsoka, cutting through the door. But before they could finish it sprung open again. Master Kenobi.

“We lost him!” Anakin cursed.

“Well did you see who it was?” Asked Kenobi.

“Yeah. Pong Krell. I know he was confirmed dead on umbara, but there’s no way it wasn’t him. I think he’s possessed one of my troopers or something. It’s not a mental problem with the trooper, as he could use the force. And fight in a way no trooper I know could.”

“That is... concerning to say the least. How do you suppose we stop this menace?” So the trooper on the hangar had been right. Obiwan should have believed him.

“Well he died once right? Why not kill him again?” Ahsoka chimed in.

Anakin was thinking the same thing, but he would have rather his padawan didn’t say things like that in front of his master.

“He was killed once and he came back. Clearly that didn’t work the first time. We should apprehend him and see what the council has to say about this. I think it would be wise not to kill him.” Obiwan didn’t really want to end up killing the trooper as collateral, but with the situation escalating, he might just have to.

A blast door slammed shut between Rex and his squad. Then a few more down the halls. Rex waited, blasters raised. He knew what would come next. It was no surprise to him when the blast door separating him from his group finally opened again, with his enemy standing at the ready. Four dead clones at his feet. But what was a surprise to him, was seeing that his enemy was Dogma. One of his own troopers. With the lightsabers of the traitor.

“Stand down trooper” Rex seethed. How could Dogma do this? He was so loyal! Dogma took a step forward. “Drop your weapons! Or I will be forced to shoot you!”

“Captain Rex. Is that any way to speak to an authority figure?” That didn’t sound like any clone Rex knew of. That sounded like...

“Stand. Down. Trooper.”

“For a mutinous clone such as yourself? I suppose it is.” The lightsabers whirred as they swung into motion, charging the captain. Rex shot back, but his bolts were easily deflected. He dove out of the way of the swing, but as he raised his blasters to fire again, they were cut in half. Krell raised to swing.

Rex was about to roll left when something else told him “no.” Time stopped for a minute as unseen hands guided the captain back to his feet, and his hands right onto the attackers. The other trooper looked surprised but fought back, trying to angle the blades into Rex. Rex struggled back, but he was losing. The other trooper somehow much stronger than him. “May I?” The same voice asked politely.

“Go for it.” Rex answered aloud.

Suddenly, it was as if rex was an outside observer to his own body. Watching through his own eyes. Whoever was in control now wrenched the green sabre out of Krell’s hand and pushed him back. “The force...” Rex thought. Rex’s body turned off one blade of the sabre and got into a ready stance. The opponent shifting and doing the same. Rex watched bewildered as his body moved on its own, all the grace and skill of a master.

“I sense I’m no longer fighting a-“ krell was saying, but whoever was helping Rex didn’t pause for a monologue. Their blades clashed once again but each move krell made was parried almost before it could happen. Rex had experience fighting dual bladed opponents, and he would not lose again. Wait, no, that wasn’t right. Krell caught them in the brief moment of confusion and Rex’s friend didn’t block in time. The blade nicked Rex’s leg.

“Anakin!”

“What, Master?”

“I sense... I sense master quigon is in danger.”

“What? How! He-“

“This way!” Obiwan suddenly turned a corner, heading away from the barracks where the group was originally headed. He began cutting through a blast door that blocked his path, and anakin joined to speed up the process. They heard a blast door open and close somewhere on the other side, and they got the door open just in time to see Rex and a lightsaber clatter to the ground.

Anakin and Ahsoka ran to him, Ahsoka turned him over and supported his head in her lap.

“He’s alive” Anakin breathed, relieved.

Rex blinked awake, back in his own body “hmm? Wha? That was strange...” Rex got up and grabbed a blaster from one of the dead clones “doesn’t matter right now, he went that way, we need to stop him!”

“Just wait up Rex. He’s probably already long gone. But you’re not dead, what happened?”

Rex stopped and looked back at anakin “I... don’t really know. I had help. I thought it was one of you, sirs. Their voice sounded a little like General Kenobi’s. I was asked permission and when I agreed it was like someone else took over my body. Definitely a Jedi. They fought off krell for me, but left once I was safe. I got a strange glimpse of a memory from them, they’ve fought a Sith with double bladed lightsaber before, but they lost.”

“You had help from my old master, Qui-gon Jin without a doubt. If he left you afterwards, than I think we may be able to get your trooper back. Set that to stun.”

Dogma was spotted in the medical-wing so kenobi and Rex headed to his last known location and Ahsoka and Anakin ran for the medbay itself. Anakin suspected that was where the real target was. The medbay was cleared best it could be, on Anakin’s orders but there was only so many places for the wounded to go. The blast doors were closed but they all knew that wouldn’t hold him.

As two lightsabers pierced the door Anakin held up a hand for the combat medics positioned behind makeshift barricades to hold their fire, before the door was kicked in.

A mixture of bolts set to kill and stun filled the air in an instant, but krell was good, and he dodged and deflected his way through the chaos. He force-shoved the medics to the ground and the two Jedi took that as their cue to switch in.

Anakin leaped up and struck down hard in a downward slash, that was deflected to the right. Ahsoka sweeper left but she was parried and flipped backwards against the returning strike. Though the Jedi continued to exchange strikes, it was clear that Krell was outmatched against two opponents. Ahsoka dropped her sabres and began to levitate, force choked without krell seemingly lifting a finger.

Anakin took another slash at Dogma. He had to break his focus before is padawan ran out of air. But his attack was deflected. On the return strike though anakin locked sabres with him, putting his weight behind it. Krell had to bring the second saner to match the force, or he would be cut with his own blade. The sabre lock was taking to long though and ahsoka was struggling harder.

Suddenly with a loud metallic clang of aluminum against someone’s skull, Dogma deactivated the lightsabers and fell to the ground, along with ahsoka. Anakin put away his own lightsaber.

“Did you just-“

“Yes.” Said Kix, holding a folding chair. “Now if you have binders I suggest you take him to the brig quickly because I have no idea how long that’s gonna hold.”

“Sir yes sir” said Anakin, still stunned.

Obiwan Kenobi Met Skywalker and Tano at the brig. Dogma hadn’t woken up yet, but they were going to try to expel Krell from him anyways. Obiwan opened the cell and the three Jedi entered. The cell closed behind them.

The Jedi pried into the clones mind, which was much harder to do when a dark Jedi was actively trying to keep them out. It was clear now, the two entirely separate entities, one weaker and dormant, the other much stronger and controlling. But after a few hours, they had started to blend. After just a minute rex had gotten access to a little of Qui-gon’s mind, but now it looked like e dominant force was trying to absorb the other into non existence. Skywalker solved this the best way he knew how. Applying tremendous force to both sides. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hand into a fist, driving a wedge through the troopers mind.

“No, Anakin!” Obiwan withdrew, but anakin was still putting on more pressure, slowly moving his hand closer to the clone’s head. He was struggling now, ahsoka had to hold the clone in place, they were trying to resist the power.

Anakin was getting frustrated, and the dark presence didn’t want to move. But it was budging.

“Stop Anakin! You’ll kill him!”

Skywalker wasn’t paying any attention to Obiwan. He was so! Close! He pushed harder. The clone screamed. But he drove that wedge just an inch further and withdrew.

Anakin opened his eyes. The clone had stopped struggling, or screaming. Skywalker thought he actually had killed him before ahsoka said

“Pulse is back. He’s breathing again.”

“Good.” Anakin wiped his hands “let’s go then. We can question him when he wakes up.”

The three Jedi left the cell before Obiwan began lecturing anakin. “You almost killed him! Why didn’t you stop when I told you to!? That was dangerously close to the dark side you know. That was brutal!”

“Yeah well Krell’s gone. I think. Thanks to me. So, you’re welcome.”

Anakin stormed back to his quarters.

[dweetwise]

ok lowkey. that spirit thing was mweh😘 how strange yet oddly interesting. if you dont mind doing something similar... could you ... maybe write something where Zarina befriends the Nurse? like the nurse is getting bullied by all the other survivors and Zarina is just like 'bruh why?'. this happened once in a match and i cant get it outta my head😤🤡 love LOVE your work. keep it up

[thanks anon ily 😳😳😳 hope this is ok! there’s a special place in my heart for baby nurses, they are so pure <3]

zarina never had to deal with op old nurse bless her

Zarina befriends the Nurse: ficlet

Hearing yet another wail from the Nurse echoing across the map, Zarina looks up from her generator into the misty grounds of the asylum. The match had surely been going on for nearly ten minutes already, and the teleporting killer had yet to down any of the survivors.

Finishing up the repairs on her generator, Zarina starts navigating towards the sound of the screeches. On her way, she doesn’t spot a single one of her teammates on any of the generators, and frowns in irritation that the killer had apparently decided to farm with the others without anyone deeming it necessary to inform her.

“Forgot about the new chick again, huh?” she mutters to herself, already having had some trouble fitting in with the rowdy group of survivors and their already established dynamic.

Zarina finally reaches what seems to be the center for the commotion, arriving at the shack where Feng, Nea and David are running around in circles with the killer teleporting through the structure, landing a hit on David who the girls then immediately begin patching up right in front of the killer’s face. Zarina huffs out an annoyed breath that her assumptions were correct, turning away from the spectacle and fully intending to go elsewhere and refuse to participate in the others’ dumb little game, when...

“Oi, over ‘ere ya cunt!” David taunts, causing Zarina to clench her fists and whip around, ready to give the asshole Brit a piece of her mind for insulting her--

Only to see the still injured David pointing his flashlight in the Nurse’s face, prolonging the killer’s already painful looking fatigue state. Zarina swallows her misdirected anger and takes a more thorough look at the events unfolding at the shack.

She sees Feng Min get right up in the killer’s face, doing her stupid butt dance,  while Nea chain blinds the killer with her own flashlight, rendering her useless for a few more seconds. The killer takes a wild swing in Nea’s direction, but the street artist sidesteps.

“Ooh, big swing!” Nea mocks, clicky-clicking her flashlight and moonwalking around the Nurse while the killer recovers from her miss. 

“Baby killer, baby killer!” Feng’s high-pitched laugh echoes through the area as the gamer feigns vaulting the shack window, causing the Nurse’s bonesaw to uselessly hit the wood with a dull ‘thunk’.

“Couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with that aim--” David taunts from the shack entrance, making the Nurse quickly blink to him. David dashes through the pallet, avoiding the hit and proceeds to throw down the piece of wood on the killer, flashlight at the ready and already pointing at the Nurse. “Baited ya, bitch!”

“She’s so boosted!” Nea laughs, moving into position to reset the pallet in the blinded killer’s face while Feng injects a healing syringe into David’s shoulder. When the Nurse finally recovers from the combination of the fatigue, stun and blinds, only to have the now upright pallet be slammed right back in her face, Zarina decides enough is enough.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Zarina demands, approaching the scene. “Hey Zarina! Look at this baby killer!” Feng says, obnoxiously spam-pointing at the stunned Nurse. “Shouldn’t you be doing gens?” “Don’t get yer knickers in a twist, we’re just horsin’ around,” David grunts, rolling his shoulder from the sting of the syringe needle. “But why, though?” Zarina asks, shooting a glare in Nea’s direction where the Swede is once again blinding the killer with her flashlight. “Haven’t you done enough?”  “No offense newbie, but maybe you should go find a gen and leave this to us, yeah?” Nea says, a cocky smirk on her lips.

That moment, the Nurse manages to get control over her movements and executes a precise teleport to an injured David, only to have the syringe take effect a split second before the hit and fully heal his wounds, merely causing him to get injured again. Zarina thinks she hears the Nurse groaning in defeat, and she doesn’t blame her. With Nea sprinting right back up to the killer, flashlight in hand, and Feng running after David ready to tank a hit, the Nurse readies another blink and, to everyone’s surprise, teleports away in the direction of the main building.

“LMAO she gave up!” Feng laughs, the sound grating on Zarina’s nerves, as she begins patching up David. “Let’s go after her!” Nea suggests. “NO!” Zarina yells, absolutely done with her fellow survivors’ bullshit against the clearly struggling killer. “You’ve already won! Don’t you have any empathy?” she scolds the trio. “Oh I’m sorry princess, is the taaxic flashlight against your wittle journalist’s ethics?” Nea mocks, fake pouting. “We’ve put of with ‘er shite for years, least she can do is take a couple pallets in tha face,” David grumbles. “Yeah you try versing a five blink Nurse with a mori and tell us how fair and balanced that is,” Feng says, hands on her hips. “Whatever, that’s your problem,” Zarina says, not about to entertain the trio about whatever grudges they seem to be holding. “Just do the fucking gens and leave.”

With that, Zarina makes her way to the main building, thankful that the others seem to stay behind, at least for now. She feels compelled to apologize to the killer on her so-called friends’ behalf, once again trusting her strong moral compass to guide her to the right decisions. Before long she finds the Nurse in one of the rooms on the second floor of the asylum, sitting on a windowsill with an old photo frame in her hands.

“Umm... miss killer? Excuse me?” Zarina makes her presence known, peering in through the door frame. “You didn’t have to intervene, girl,” the Nurse says with unexpected softness and clarity in her voice. She looks almost serene, ominous heartbeat gone, sitting primly in front of the window and torn dress flowing gently with a breeze from the derelict wall.

“I know, it’s... I couldn’t just watch. I’m sorry about them, they’re--” “It’s fine. Truly. I understand,” she says, looking down at the photo again. “I haven’t exactly shown them mercy in the past, I would not expect them to act different.” “Are you... okay?” Zarina asks, cautiously approaching. The Nurse sighs. “This place, it... brings back memories I’d rather forget. I feel my focus slipping and my head is just not in it today.” “The others said you used to be more powerful--or p-perhaps just more ruthless, before...?” “I suppose that’s true,” the Nurse chuckles. “There was a time where I lost myself completely, the entity filling my mind with hatred. Now... I’m weaker, more often a disappointment to it, but... perhaps it’s for the best.” “Umm... not to point out the obvious, but--don’t you think it might help to take the bag off of your head so you could see better?” “You’d offer advice to me, an enemy? A rather peculiar survivor, you are,” the Nurse says, fondness in her voice. “As for the matter, I am able to see just fine, courtesy of the entity. Hiding my face is a choice, one of the few I still have. I--” her voice cracks. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up a touchy subject.” “What a curious one you are. Never give up that fire,” she says. “As for covering my head... he always loved seeing me smile,” she says, fondly stroking a finger over the picture, before handing the frame to Zarina, taking her completely off guard as she fumbles to grab the item.

In the frame is a picture of a happy couple on their wedding day, both smiling brightly and embracing each other. The man looks like a proper old-time gentleman, complete with a top hat and silly mustache. The woman is gorgeous, her pale skin and white gown a stark contrast to her fiery red hair and deep emerald green eyes.

“Is this you?” Zarina asks, slightly taken aback, reminded of the fact that the killers probably used to be normal people, just like her. “It was the happiest day of my life,” the Nurse says wistfully. “That was his favorite photo. He said it brought out my eyes, he--he loved my eyes, said they were a reflection of my soul, of our happiness. Which is why I can’t let anyone see my face.” “Because now you’re... unhappy?” Zarina asks, trying to understand. “Because I don’t want anyone to look into my eyes and see the madness that consumed me,” the Nurse whispers.

Zarina is at a loss for words, intrigued about the remorseful killer’s past but not wanting to pry further. She stares at the photo and tries to imagine how the cute, carefree woman in the picture could have ever turned into a bloodthirsty killer.

The sound of the exit gates being powered snaps her out of her thoughts, finally handing the frame back to its owner.

“Thanks for telling me all this,” Zarina says. “Can’t have been easy, what you’ve went through.” “I should be thanking you, for indulging a silly woman her tales,” the Nurse says. “Feel free to stop by, should you happen to wander into this realm from the campfire. I don’t often linger here, but... maybe it would not be so bad, had I company.” “You know, I might just take you up on that offer,” Zarina says, offering a small smile. The sound of a gate opening and the end game triggering reminds her that she’s on a time limit. “Shi--shoot, I’ve gotta run. See you around, uh... ms. Nurse?” “Please, call me Sally,” the killer says, primly bowing her head. “Zarina, was it? Do be careful out there. Your kindness might just be the end of you.” “Doesn’t sound so bad, as far as causes of death go,” Zarina quips, offering a cheeky grin before sprinting off the find the gate.

[sally is precious fight me. and lmao i didn’t even try to be subtle about who toxic nea is inspired by]

[su-nlt]

Things Confirmed In Steven Universe: The Movie

New Gems: Spinel, unnamed uncorrupted gems

New Fusions: Steg, Alexandrite (new form) Opal (new form)

New Objects: Giant Injector Drill, Bio Poison, Rejuvinators 

New Locations: Pinks Garden

New Songs: https://su-nlt.tumblr.com/post/187175460886/su-movie-soundtrack-list-revealed

Also this turned out to be like 4 pages long, so I inserted a read more link for everyone's convenience. Click to read more!

The opening of the movie mimics that of a classic Disney movie

It has been two years since the events of Change Your Mind, and, in accordance with his mental state, Steven has aged to look like a 16 year-old, as well as received a new outfit

Aside from the opening flashback, Jasper does not appear in the movie. Most sightings have just been of other Jaspers

This is the first movie in the series

The movie contains a total of 38 songs

WD wrote a book about Stevens adventure

PDs legs are back on Homeworld

Other Heaven and Earth Beetle gems can be seen on the beach planet

The Zircons are alive and free (they can be seen in a crowd shot on a green planet)

Spinel can been seen in one of the locations during Stevens broadcast

The Diamonds have allotted airtime 

The Diamonds have disbanded their armies, liberated their colonies, refrained from shattering, and have practices better manners. Blue has also stopped using her crying power

The Diamonds have gotten better at showing affection 

While recognizing Steven as his own person, the Diamonds still fawn over him like Pink

A warp from Earth to Homeworld has been established

Stevens new house has several new features, including

-a warp pad within a greenhouse and Gem computer

-Flags representing Earth and Homeworld

-An actual second floor (Stevens room used to just be a loft)

-a balcony attached to stevens bedroom

- A Lonely Blade poster, The Painting of Garnet and Steven, the MoonGoddess statue, the Space Train to the Cosmos CD, the KEEP box from Greg’s storage, a photo of the main CGs, the picture of Greg and Rose, a new game system, a glass of Pine Needle tea, a crystal gem logo, another picture of Connie, the Stephen mug, Steven’s old red shirt, and a few photos of the Temple have all been added to Stevens room

-The picture of Rose was moved from on top of the door to the side of the stairs

-A dining room table

-Centipeedle’s drawing hangs on Stevens fridge 

- Roses broken sword is on display

-More planets and pictures

Steven uses his bubble to go down stairs

Connie and Steven are now in a relationship

Connie is interested in a space-related career

Cat Steven is now fully grown

Pearl is learning how to play the bass guitar

The chest in Lion’s mane is open

Lars now cooks for others

Lars hair has grown a bit

The Off-Colors are now on Earth

There's a bubble with a slice of cake in the temple

Bubbles can preserve food

In place of the barn, a community known as “Little Homeworld” has been made, as a place for the uncorrupted gems to live

Little Homeworld is 83% complete

Warp pads can be moved around

Amethyst and Steven have made up a handshake

Steven is no longer the shortest in the main squad

This is our first time seeing ‘original’ Amethyst

Amethyst didn't have a Diamond insignia when she first emerged 

Amethysts size was not the only thing different about her when she first emerged. He limbs where segmented, her hair short, her outfit simplistic, and her intellect stunted

Amethyst considers the Uncorrupted gems and New Crystal Gems part of her family

Steven now runs in front of the group

A small house has been added to the lighthouse

Spinel (Pronounce SPIN-el) are made to be entertainers (ie. Best Friends)

Spinel’s design and animation appear to be inspired by a style over animation known as Rubberhose (popular in the 1920s-1940s) She also appears to inspired particularly by the characters of Mickey Mouse (original Spinel) and Oswald the Rabbit (Evil Spinel) judging by her buns/pigtails (How they are both always showing no matter the angle)

Spinel and Pearl know each other

Garnet's Gauntlets have her wedding rings on them

Spinels theme is electro-swing

Spinels can store objects in their gems

Spinels power is enhanced shape-shifting (which include the power to turn into a spinning top and turning her hands into giant fists)

The black lines on Spinels face resemble running mascara 

Giant injectors exist, have Heart-Shaped gems at the top of them, and can fly

There hasn't been much combat since the events of CYM

Spinels gem cut is perfect

Spinels come in other colors

Spinel can move her eyes in different directions

Spinels squeak when they move

Items in gems gems stay with them after rejuvenation

In terms of ‘threat to Steven’ Lapis is still considered on the fence

Peridot doesn't know what rejuvenators are, implying that they don't exist/ aren't used in Era 2+ 

Blue Garnet’s outfit in the “Isn't it Love?” song sequence implies Sapphire is barefoot under her dress

Potent Biochemicals exist, which destroy organic life and organic materials, but does not affect gems

Rejuvenators , which are shaped like synths, can poof and ‘reset’ a gems memory, and were used to ‘correct’ gems how stepped out of line. However, the process can be somewhat easily reversed by unlocking a gems memory.

Judging by the title of her song (system/BOOT.pearl_final(3).Info ) this is the third time Pearl has been rebooted

Pearls are given a customization option whenever they first form, any are loyal to whoever activates the menu

The memories of Fusions are also reset when their components are reset

While Steven organic half is unaffected by the Rejuvenator, his gem was reset, causing his powers to be reset

The ability to access Lion's mane is a power exclusive to Steven, and is considered to be his easiest power

Spinel has abandonment issues

The Heaven and Earth Beetles engage in afternoon constitutionals  

Until she learns ‘the truth’, every one of original Garnet’s lines in the movie is a question

The Uncorrupted gems wander around Beach City

Spinel does eat

Vidalia has made more Amethyst painting

Ronaldo's phone PIN is 989675979

The moment where Amethyst and Steven cheat as speed ball is a reference to the episode ‘Arcade Mania’

The moment where Steven pulls Amethyst out her hole in the Alpha Kindergarten is a reference the episode ‘On The Run’, where Pearl pulls Amethyst out of the Hole

Giant injectors are considered unstable, and are controlled through sound

The Warehouse is both a concert venue and safe house 

Greg stores Sadie Killer shirts in his Storage Unit

Sadie Killer and the Suspect have gotten popular

Mike Krol (who guest starred in the episode ‘Last One Out of Beach City’) provided the bass, guitar, and drums for the song ‘Disobedient’ 

The majority of Uncorrupted gems are Quartzes

Amethyst considered Rose the love of Pearls life

Greg being uncomfortable about Amethyst shapeshifting into Rose is a reference to the episode ‘Maximum Capacity’ 

The moment where Garnet see ‘Rose’ at the concert is a reference to the episode ‘The Answer’ 

Pearl was metaphorically and literally freed when Rose left (Cant follow orders when the person who gives you them are gone)

Steven and Greg can fuse to form Steg

Stegs weapons include Stevens Shield, a dual Guitar, and his powers include levitation and the power to create shock waves

Pink had a garden on an asteroid, where she would play with Spinel 

Pink used to be lonely on Homeworld

Earth was given to Pink by Yellow and Blue, but not White

Spinel used to entertain Pink as her ‘best friend’, but, without Spinel noticing, Pink grew bored with Spinel, and Pink eventually abandoned her in her Garden for 6,000 years

Spinel was left next to a patch of ‘Forget-Me-Nots’, a type of blue, white, and yellow flower

Other gem types can turn their gems

Steven is no longer surprised by Pinks actions

Gems can make their new forms somewhat taller or shorter

The shot of Connie sliding into Stevens house on Lion is a reference to the motorcycle slide from the movie ‘Akira’

Greg doesn't always wash his hands after using the bathroom 

The Pizza Car has been dissolved 

Alexandrite, Opal, a Bismuth all have new forms

This is the first time dripping blood has been shown in the show

The Rejuvenator has been busted

Gems can make physical objects part of their gem forms (ie. Garnets wedding rings)

The citizens of Beach City and the uncorrupted gems get along well

Connie's Sword can cut through metal

Steven believes he has changed in the last few years

Steven can summon multiple shields, change the shape of his bubble, use his bubble to create shock waves,form tiny bubbles around his fists, and fully levitate 

Steve can make blood disappear with his healing powers

The gem at the top of injectors are their power source

Steven realizes that no matter what, his work will never be finished

Steven can regrow plants with his healing powers

Garnet says staying hydrated is important while smooching

Spinel is trying again at friendship, but believes she's already messed up too badly with Steven and the gang 

The Diamonds were willing to move to Earth to spend more time with Steven

The Diamonds consider Homeworld boring without Steven

Yellow finds Spinel funny

The reprise of ‘Come Live With Us’ is a combination of the songs ‘Come Live With Us’ and ‘Found’

The Diamonds consider Earth disgusting

The shot of the Diamonds extending their hands to Spinel is a callback to the episode ‘Your Mother and Mine’ (when the Diamonds launched their final attack on Earth)

Spinel now lives with the Diamonds in place of Pink/Steven

The song ‘Finale’ is a reprise of the songs ‘Happily Ever After’ and ‘Change’

Beach City has been rebuilt since the events of the movie, but the cliff has a few new dents in it, and their are now large ravines under the city

Steven no longer has his pink jacket (or at least, he’ll have to get a new one)

Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Greg,and Connie put on a …...Broadway Musical? (Still not entirely sure if that canonical)

[freewithyourtempo]

Argue me tender, argue me true (pt. 8)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

Charles was zombing his way across the hall. He felt ashamed and vulnerable, with his guts inside out. He was on edge, waiting mindlessly for anyone to start laughing at his stupidity.

Not that he thought that he would make fun of what had happened…

When he heard someone calling his name, Charles considered ignoring them. He tried to sink in his own shoulders and turned towards the voice. The principal’s secretary was hurrying towards him and waving something shiny in his hand. “Xavier,” he huffed, reprimanding. His forehead was damp and he looked like he had spent the morning rolling up and down the sleeves of his shirt and moving boxes. “Here, keep this.” Something small and cylindric was hastily put in Charles’ hand. It was the key to his collar. “What is-” “Now that it is done, please tell your friend Erik Lehnsherr to reshape the locks of our offices and toilets. Maybe we can’t prove that it was his doing, but we certainly know it was. We are keeping an eye on him. Have a nice day.”

He stomped away leaving Charles gaping in the middle of the corridor. Charles looked down at the key in the center of his palm and closed his fingers around it. “Fuck. Couldn’t you be a bit less. Fuck you, Lehnsherr.” “I thought you were about to do just that.” Charles tiredly hauled his lips in a smile and faced his just arrived friend. “He didn’t like me that much, Moira.” He shrugged with one shoulder. “It happens.” Mora frowned in confusion and adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. “How do you-” “I…” Charles rubbed his arm and looked away. “I may have told him that I liked him when I was drunk after Azazel’s party. He told me it was better if I went away.” Moira blinked and tilted her head. “It’s just… So weird.” She admitted frankly. “Like, really weird.” “How so?” “Have you seen Davis around, lately?” “I don’t even know who he’s supposed to be.” Moira rolled her eyes. “The bag of dicks that pushed you against the wall last week.” “Oh,” Charles said. He remembered that day for a different reason altogether. “What’s up with him?” Moira didn’t even try to hide her pleased, seraphic smile. “He has a black eye and a dislocated jaw. He hasn’t been able to mutter his homophobic and mutantphobic shit since that day.” She folded her arms and raised one suggestive eyebrow. “Does that mean anything to you?”

Charles stammered. “I-It doesn’t mean anything,” he denied. The bruise on Lehnsherr's face was freshly painted in his mind. His heart sunk in his stomach and started hammering there. “Lehnsherr has always advocated for mutants. He would have done the same for anyone.” Evidently. “He beat the shit out of him, Charles. He risked suspension. At best. Probably expulsion.” Moira eyed the key in his hand and stared. “Twice this week, I would say.” Charles shrugged again, because he didn't know what to say to that. 

Lehnsherr wasn't interested, had said that much. It was better not to dwell on things that almost were. Charles sighed. Or weren’t, apparently, because it was all in his head. He probably spent too much time in there. Moira huffed. “Do you think I should go thank him for this?” Charles asked, holding the key between his thumb and index. Moira linked their arms. “I really think you should, Charles, if you feel like it.”

Charles heard a commotion, then the door of the classroom swung open and banged against the opposite wall. Someone gasped. 

Hank appeared on the threshold, pale and agitated. 

“McCoy!” The professor exclaimed. “What on Earth is happening?” “I’m really, really sorry, professor,” Hank answered, and he was so upset that his skin was swinging between blue and white. “But I need Charles. Immediately.” Charles stood up and Hank turned towards him. “It’s about Alex. We’d ask Lehnsherr, but we can’t find him anywhere…” Charles pulled the key out of his back pocket and shoved it in the collar. It clicked open with a mechanical swish, and Charles tossed it on the desk. 

Voices arose in his head as he had just turned the volume on. “Where is he?” “Park, behind the cafeteria,” Hank answered. Charles hurried down the stairs and together they ran across the corridor. 

Alex was standing in the middle of the park, alone. The grass around him was scorched and greyish, and Charles could smell smoke. 

Alex’s shirt was pulsing red in correspondence of his chest. 

“Oh, thank you, fuck,” he said when he saw Charles stepping towards him, Hank on his tow. He was shivering from head to toe. “Just knock me out already.” “There’s no need for that, Alex,” Charles said, keeping his voice steady. His throat was tight. “Take it easy.” Alex scoffed angrily, and the red in his chest heightened. He clenched his fists and snarled. “Easy? I was about to explode in the middle of the Cafeteria, Xavier. Fucking explode.”

Charles could feel anger, and frustration, and biting terror howling and scratching at his shields like rabid dogs. Everything was flashing red and white, everything was swirling, his mind was cracking under the blows of panic. But above all else he felt a growing heat right over his stomach, boiling and buzzing, ready to cut through his flesh. 

“But you didn't, Alex. You controlled it.” “Barely.” Alex looked away, chest heaving. His muscles were strained in the effort of keeping the energy inside his body. “I can’t do this. I shouldn’t be here. I can’t, why don’t you understand. I just can’t.” “But you do, you can,” Charles replied firmly, and stepped forward. “You have been here for months, don’t let one slip up mess with your head.” “My slip-ups could cost lives!” “Mine too,” Charles said, smiling sadly. “And Erik’s, or Janos’. You deserve to be here, Alex, and you're making wonderful progress every day. People want you here and will help you. I promise.”

The raw dogs had receded now, and while Alex looked him in the eyes, vulnerable and hopeful, Charles could only feel angry birds screeching. Terror was no longer stabbing his shields, but Alex's thoughts had to be directed elsewhere, or they could start collapsing on themselves all over again. “Besides, you can’t go before declaring yourself.” Alex’s mind snapped in surprise, as if kicked out of track. His eyes flashed towards a point behind Charles, where Hank had been fidgeting for the last five minutes. 

Hank held his breath loudly.

“You’re such a little shit,” Alex accused Charles, blushing furiously and looking at everything that wasn’t Hank. Charles smirked through a fog of embarrassed excitement. “I never said whom you should declare to, dear. But it has been a long time coming, so...” Alex glared under thick eyebrows, but at least his body had stopped trembling and glowing red. “You’re one to talk,” he huffed and folded his arms. “Clearly you and Lehnsherr still have your heads up your asses.” It was Charles’ turn to gape, but immediately stopped when he saw Alex sneering. “Your sources are unreliable, I’m afraid. There’s nothing between us.” Alex raised an eyebrow. “Says who.” Charles swallowed. “Says he.” “That’s not what--” Alex stopped and lifted his hands in surrender. “Know what. Not my business. Morons. Sexual tension is so thick between you two not even my blasts could cut through it. It’s disgusting.” “Mmh,” came Hank thoughtful voice. “I’ll have to vouch for that.” “Shut up,” Charles grumbled, cheeks flagging hot in embarrassment. “I came here to help, and look at what I have to endure. I don’t deserve this.” “You started it.” “Count to one hundred, and if you’re still not shooting lasers through your nostrils by then, you’re good to go. Undeserving scoundrel.”

This time Charles knocked. 

He had this whole speech prepared, schemingly littered with thankfulness and apologies about ill-time confessions, and closed by a joke to lighten up the mood. He felt clear-minded and self-possessed, with steady hands and a firm voice. He raised his mental shields. He swallowed against the heart in his throat. He also felt nauseous, but that was irrelevant, all things considered. He just needed to breathe and stick to the scenario sprawled out in his mind. No interruptions, no blubbering, no undignified ogling… 

The door swung open. Lehnsherr was steaming hot. Literally. Fat droplets of water clung to the wet tips of his hair and splashed on his neck to ran down the collar of his shirt, darkening the fabric. The bare skin of his arms and throat glistened and puffed slow swirls of steam. He was barefoot. Charles closed his mouth audibly and irritably. “Oh, fuck me.”

@helene-of-spain , @youarerageandserenity, @why-cant-people-just-think, @auri-moon , @starkqnthony, @docty-strange , @starkxavier, @ectoplasmaticpansexual, @season-four-is-imminent, @ unticka

[ladyluck678]

Steven Universe: A Training Session

The sun was out, and the skies were a vibrant azure blue. White, puffy clouds floated by lazily. It was the end of Earth’s summer season, and it seemed as if it was reluctant to go. It clung to the hot air desperately and hazily as insects hummed in the air.

Yellow Diamond supposed that maybe, just maybe, Earth wasn’t as miserable as she had initially thought. It certainly had its charms; Blue Diamond had said as much. Blue was the one who encouraged the golden matriarch to go to Earth to visit in the first place.

Blue’s encouragement and Steven himself was more than enough to motivate her, but then there was Steven’s burgeoning abilities. The potential he had was staggering to the imagination. That, and he was a hybrid, half organic and half gem. It was a statistical impossibility; Yellow was dumbfounded when she finally realized who (and what) Steven was.

His abilities were what brought Yellow to Earth on this very trip. A few weeks ago, Blue had visited Earth at Steven’s request, to help contain a dangerous artifact. In her report, she detailed some of the boy’s abilities and concerns about his lack of knowledge and skill. The Crystal Gems had done their best, but even they didn’t know he was a Diamond until somewhat recently. (Most of them didn’t realize…)

So, a trip to Earth was in order. Yellow wanted to see what the boy gem could do firsthand in a controlled environment. She’d seen him fight briefly against various gems, but was unable to dedicate her full attention to him.

Their battle against each other on the beach was one such occasion. It was also a painfully one-sided fight; Steven was an unwilling participant. Yellow winced at the memory, had she known that Steven was Pink Diamond’s offspring… She shook her head; it wasn’t a pleasant memory. (She had almost crushed poor Steven.)

So, here she stood in the Ancient Sky Arena. Regrettably, she had to shift her form to get to the arena; only the smaller warp pad worked. The central warp pad has long since been destroyed. However, proper Gem decorum was almost non-existent on Earth. It’s one of the few times Yellow Diamond felt somewhat comfortable shifting her form to something more compact.

Yellow stood about eight feet tall with a saffron-colored data screen hovering in front of her. Flaxen hair perfectly in place, her golden armor glinting sharply in the sunlight as her hip cape swayed with the breeze.

“Are you ready Yellow?” Steven hollered over to her. She was a few dozen paces away from the boy.

“Patience, young man,” She called back to him sternly. She actually had medical information and biometric scans running on the half-gem. Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG had supplied the programs via the “internet.” The technology was archaic, but it was impressive that the humans had come so far in such a short amount of time. (It was certainly worth noting…) She’d have her engineers back on Homeworld come up with a much more comprehensive program for future sparing sessions now that she had a base program to work from.

Yellow was comprehensive; she didn’t want to damage the boy, she wanted to spar with him. She had to be careful.

“Com’on already! Get this party started!” An impatient scratchy voice pierced the air from the stony bleachers surrounding the arena.

“I don’t require sleep, but I may try if something doesn’t happen soon!” Another voice that was all too familiar floated over to Yellow. (The soft lilt was unmistakable.)

The general’s ire rose as she snapped her head in the direction of the harassing comments. An amethyst and the peridot were sitting in the benches a few feet from the arena floor with Steven’s pearl and the perma-fusion “Garnet.” Just in front, sitting on the court at ground level was Blue Diamond, who waved enthusiastically and winked seductively when Yellow looked over.

Yellow blushed a burnt sienna color, she found it infuriating how little control she had over her emotions when in Blue’s presence. She collapsed the data screen and turned her attention back to Steven.

“Are you ready?” The general’s tone was grave but tempered with patience.

“I’m ready, Yellow!” Steven grinned as he summoned his rose-colored shield and bounced on the balls of his feet.

A brief memory flashed through the golden matriarch’s mind, of a young gem with hibiscus colored eyes and curly pink hair saying the same exact words. The corner of Yellow’s mouth quirked up just a little as her gaze softened almost imperceptibly.

“Alright,” Yellow Diamond widened her stance as the golden gem on her chest began to glow. A gleaming pommel and hilt appeared as the general summoned her sword. She hefted the weapon thoughtfully and performed a test swing before she brought the blade into a high guard.

“Give me everything you have, Steven. Don’t hold back!” The young gem seemed hesitant, uncertain. Yellow watched as he swallowed hard.

Just as she opened her mouth to say something the boy charged. He ran forward faster than Yellow thought he was capable of, and instead of running headlong into her, he jumped up and flung his shield.

She deflected the aegis easily with her blade, not paying attention to the rose-colored spiky construct that Steven had summoned around himself. He continued to use the forward momentum to his advantage.

Yellow deftly dodged out of Steven’s range as he bounced, and the construct around him collapsed. It was an impressive attack; she wasn’t expecting it at all. (The Crystal Gems have trained him well.) The general wanted to push him though, how far could she go?

Cheering and clapping echoed through the stony battleground. Yellow rested her sword on the ground, the tip biting and chipping into the smooth granite.

“Steven, I have a single condition for victory; you must tag me one time. If you can do that, you’ve won.” Yellow said in a challenging tone. Usually, she would set the terms for winning before the sparring had begun. Still, the general wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. (That and she didn’t want to push him so hard as for him to injure himself.)

“Got it, Yellow!” The boy said amicably. He then summoned two shields, one on each arm. This was different…

He charged again and leaped up, throwing one shield at Yellow. The Diamond deflected it quickly; it was meant to distract her like the first time. Were Steven an actual opponent, Yellow might have just taken the hit to strike down her aggressor.

The movement only took a few seconds, but Yellow Diamond was created for battle. She was made for war and conquest, and conflict was as natural to her as breathing was for organic life. She broke down the boy’s moves systematically in her mind, analyzing every minute detail.

The boy gem kept barreling towards her, his bulwark placed in front intent on ramming into her. Speed, velocity, angle of attack; Yellow had them all figured out mathematically in her mind before he even reached the apex of his assault.

A split-second before Steven made contact Yellow simply stepped aside. The boy smashed into the ground where the Diamond was just moments before. Pulverized stone and dust coming up like a geyser. The failed attack jarred the boy, shattering his aegis, and stunning him.

Yellow tutted and gave him a gentle swat on the bottom with the flat of her golden blade. “Switch tactics, young man! Distractions will only go so far.”

“Boooo! C’mon Steve-O, knock her block off!” The amethyst shouted from the bleachers.

“It’s alright, Steven, you can do this!” The boy’s pearl called out, encouraging him to fight on. The perma-fusion simply held up her thumb… The general hadn’t the slightest idea what that meant.

Yellow’s brow canted up, an unspoken question asked; Steven nodded and summoned his shield. The golden matriarch didn’t hesitate; she brought up her sword with blinding speed and swung for the boy. Steven held fast, grunting with effort. Remarkably strong with exceptional speed, the boy was impressive. Very few gems could withstand the blow that Yellow had just dealt.

“What now, young man!? You’re in quite the predicament!” The general barked at Steven; she watched as beads of sweat rolled down the sides of his face. His expression pure determination.

“I’m going to follow your advice, I’m going to change tactics!” Steven pushed forward with incredible strength and shoved Yellow backward.

She stumbled back and barely missed another rose-colored shield that was flung right at her head. Yellow sneered as she brought her sword up facing Steven, “You miss-”

Crumbling stone could be heard behind the golden matriarch, she turned just in time to see half of a pillar falling on top of her. When the dust finally cleared, Yellow found herself pinned underneath half of a marble column from the waist down. She sighed; she had underestimated Steven again.

The boy walked over and knelt down next to Yellow’s head. He ceremoniously lifted a finger and placed it directly in the center of the sun-colored gem in her chest, “Tag, you’re it!”

“I suppose I am, young man.” The golden matriarch gave a great sigh as she pursed her lips.

Cheering could be heard from the pair’s audience, “Way to beat up Yellow clod, Steven!”

“Um, sorry, I’ll talk to Peridot about that.” Steven got up and rubbed his hands together as he ambled over to the broken column. He lifted the end with a grunt, and Yellow slipped out from underneath. She stood and cracked her neck.

“Everything good, Yellow?” The Diamond looked down at the boy and gave a gentle smile. It was paradoxical how he could be so much like Pink and so different at the same time.

It caused her gem to ache, but it wasn’t entirely wrong. The feeling didn’t have a name, but it was beginning to heal a wound that Yellow didn’t think she would ever recover from. Pride and love, rage, and regret; it was all of these things. It was beautiful. It was painful.

“Yes, you did very well. That will teach me to underestimate you.” She knelt and ruffled Steven’s hair. The boy laughed and held her hand on top of his head as he beamed back at Yellow.

“We’re having a bonfire on the beach, can you stay?”

“Ah-I,” Yellow hesitated; there was work to be done, and she was hardly friends with the Crystal Gems.

“Please? Blue’s staying.” Steven slipped out from underneath Yellow’s gloved hand but didn’t stop holding her fingers.

“Well then I’ll have to stay, Blue and I traveled on the same ship together.” The general huffed, she knew Blue wouldn’t deny Steven her company, especially when invited. (Secretly Yellow was pleased to no end, Steven asking her to stay and visit his home. Though she’d dissipate her form before she admitted it to anyone.)

“Alright! Com’on Yellow, we’re gonna have fun!” He squeezed her hand before letting go and ran ahead of her.

She watched as he was welcomed by the other gems. The amethyst grabbing and giving him a rough hug around the neck while the perma-fusion clapped his back. Blue had walked over and bent down to say something in his ear. (Undoubtedly, her congratulations and encouragement.)

When Yellow had finally caught up, Steven and the gems had already made their way to the top of the arena steps towards the warp pad. The boy waved down at Yellow, “Don’t take too long!” He then disappeared down the opposite side.

Blue had stayed behind to wait for Yellow. She sauntered up and wrapped her arms around the general’s neck.

“Well?” Blue said, arching an eyebrow questioningly at Yellow.

“Well what? He’s very powerful, you didn’t need me to tell you that.”

“No, but I wanted you to see for yourself. I believe he needs further instruction.” The cerulean gem carded her hand through stiff flaxen locks. Yellow hummed in agreement and leaned into the embrace, placing her hands on Blue’s curved hips.

Blue gazed into amber eyes for a long moment. They had been a pair for so long Blue could instantly sense when something was bothering Yellow. “What’s troubling you, love?”

“I’m not entirely sure that I’m worthy of Steven’s affections, after everything that’s happened…” Yellow looked away, a heavy sigh that she seemed to have been holding for millennia was released.

“Yellow, look at me,” Gilt eyes locked on to arctic blue ones. “We must earn this love, this trust. It was given freely before, and we shattered it and threw it away carelessly, not knowing what we had until it was gone. Now we must work to make things whole again. It is not an easy task, but I would happily bear that burden for one more chance. I strongly believe we’re on the right path.”

Yellow could only nod, emotions thick and sticking within her throat. She gathered Blue into her arms and tangled her hands in her long silvery locks. The pair held each other for a long moment before either one of them dared speak.

“So, we’re staying for a bonfire?” Yellow’s voice was muffled in Blue’s shoulder.

“Perhaps I wanted to stay, and it’s sometimes easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.” The pair finally separated, Blue had a sheepish look on her face as she bit her lip.

“Blue-”

“What would you have said if I had asked, hmm?” The cerulean matriarch stepped closer, her forehead resting on Yellow’s.

“No, there’s work-”

“-to be done. There’s always work, there will always be work! What’s a few more short hours?”

“I suppose you’re right, it would make little difference at this point.” The general relented, her shoulders slumping.

Blue stepped in even closer, their bodies completely flush with one another’s, their gems almost touching. Yellow felt her cheeks go flush, Blue could do that so easily to her, it drove her mad.

“You know, I feel guilty. I should have asked to stay beforehand.” Blue said in a low timbre that was only ever meant for Yellow’s ears.

“Do you?” Yellow nuzzled the side of Blue’s jaw.

“Hmn, when we’re done visiting, I feel that I should make it up to you. Perhaps on our way back to Homeworld?”

Blue cupped Yellow’s cheek and kissed her deeply. The pair staying that way for a long while, both reluctant to end the stolen moment of intimacy. Their gems pulsed, filling the small spaces between them with a brilliant viridian light. It was Yellow who ended the kiss finally, gently biting Blue’s bottom lip as she pulled away.

The general was infinitely satisfied to see Blue’s cheeks were three shades darker than they usually were. (Always making her blush… she showed Blue who could make who blush.)

“Come, we shouldn’t keep Steven waiting.” Yellow pulled away with a smug smile, lacing her fingers with Blue’s as the pair made their way towards the warp.

I always say I’m going to post some of my writing here... then I never do... but here’s some writing and the AO3 link. Cheers!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21553447

[darksiderscreations]

Reaction series: Horsemen reacting to human playing Darksiders

I’m so sorry- I accidentally deleted a draft I had so I can’t find the person who requested this!! But I appreciate you 💕

I hope you all enjoy my first chapter of the react series! <3 xoxo

War: He would be genuinely—but adorably confused.

He squeezes through the front door of your small apartment, popping in to check on his favorite human. Noticing your eyes are glued to the “TV” as you call it, he walks over to you.

“What are you doing?” He asks. This startles you and you throw your hands in the air—video game controller flying out of your grip.

“War? Hi! I wasn’t expecting a visit so soon...” You smile awkwardly at him, but his gaze was no longer fixed on you.

“Why is my face on your talking black box?” You inwardly groan, hoping he would never see this. Picking up the controller, you smile at War.

“It’s a video game, based around you.”

“Video game?” You nod at the horseman.

“Yeah! It’s like...animated situations built on a storyline, but you control your own fate and such.” The horseman stares at you blankly and you sigh, deciding to move back to the game. “It’s fun, see!”

You go through defeating some small enemies with chaoseater, and solving some puzzles.

“How can I be here, but also there? That isn’t myself...but, all of my attacks...and chaoseater. What is this?”

You laugh and shake your head,”As I said, it’s a video game!” He stared at your gameplay for quite some time, perplexed. At one point, you decide to make War do odd things on the screen, a fun way of messing with him you thought. You toss the horseman a mischievous grin as you make his character run and jump and swing choaseater around like a big idiot.

The horseman grunts at you. “Stop making me hop around. That is Death’s way of things.” You laugh at his jab towards his brother.

“Alright Alright, here I’ll teach you how to play.” You hand him the controller...in which doesn’t really fit in his massive hands. He has to make a great effort so as not to break the small thing. You explain to him the controls and go through some fighting scenes with him, to which he seemingly enjoys. You weren’t surprised, seeing as how much he enjoys a challenging fight.

“I still don’t understand how you can be controlling me inside your “TV”... How does this happen...”

With a laugh, you place your hand on his massive shoulder,”It’s best not to think about it big guy.”

You soon realize however, that perhaps showing the horseman a game that re-lives some of his traumatic past wasn’t the best idea. This became very clear when The Watcher popped on the screen.

“You’re like a dog on a leesh,” the Watcher growled,”if I say bark, you bark, and if I have to kick you, you better not bare your fangs...”

Upon hearing this, War grew angry. Well, angry isn’t even a proper way to describe how he felt.

Needless to say, your controller ended up half way across the room, and your TV had a massive, cursed sword plunged through it.

You stare at War wide eyed,”Mayyyybee video games aren’t your thing...”

Death: criticizes you but then finds himself being pulled to watching you.

I will never understand some aspects of human culture...” The pale horseman walks into the room, seeing you covered in blankets, eyes plastered to the TV.

“What? What’s wrong with my video games?!” You look at him, offended. He shakes his head.

“Seeing as how you haven’t moved a muscle all day... I’d say there’s plenty wrong with them.” Death makes his way to sit beside you.

“I happen to think they’re great.” You retaliate, turning your attention back towards your game. You hear the horseman chuckle deeply,

“Well...wait a minute. Is that me on your screen?” You flash the horseman a smirk.

“Mayyyybeee.” You run around the Maker’s realm, making your way towards Karn for a mission. You hear Death groan, burying his face in his hands. “Not the pup...”

You laugh,”Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Karn.” The horseman shakes his head, watching your gameplay silently. He didn’t want to question you why or how his journey was made into a video game...it disturbed him to think about it.

Dispite Death’s overall disinterest in video games, he found watching you amusing. He would criticize you from time to time on your armor choices however, claiming it would be useless in real battle.

This of course would irritate you to no other, but you didn’t let it get to you too much. “It’s a video game, Death. It isn’t real. Besides, I think you look stylish.” He would grunt,”It’s embarrassing to see myself like this.”

With a grin you teased him,”Oh I can make it much worse for you.”

The horseman tossed you a look of ‘Don’t you dare.’

When it came to using some of Death’s basic attacks, he found your technique useful, much to your surprise. Although he was a little picky when it came to necromancy.

You found it quite fun whenever Dust came on screen to help direct Death on the correct path. It made the real Dust quite happy, he would squak at the screen and pose proudly atop Death’s shoulder, to which Death would simply ignore.

“This game is ridiculous— that bird barely helps me in the slightest!”

You grinned at the bird,”It’s alright Dust. I appreciate you.”

The horseman groaned at your comment, earning a laugh from you—you knew Death really did enjoy the crow’s company, he just enforced a ‘tough love’ attitude.

Bonus Funny Scene: The camera is posed perfectly on Death, showing a clear close up of his chest and face. You sit there, staring at the screen intimately as if it were a movie.

“What are you doing?” You yelp, Death’s cool and monotonous voice surprising you, causing you to fall off your couch.

“Nothing!!” You sing, grabbing your controller and moving the camera to a different angle.

The horseman stared down at you quizzically, and you grinned up at him innocently. “Hi Death. How’s it going?” He sighs and shakes his head.

(I know I’d be guilty of doing the above 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Fury: Gets very intense during gameplay.

“Is that me on that screen?” You nod.

“...Why?” You laugh and shake your head,”Don’t question it. Just come sit.

As you progress through the game, she grows increasingly violent. “Demon scum.” She would spit, as you finish off your enemies.

If you happened to get beat by a demon, she would groan, asking you to give her the controller.

“I would never be beaten by the likes of such a pathetic little thing. Watch and learn.”

You had to admit, it was fun to watch the powerful horseman get so into the game. It was even more fun to watch her get defeated just as you did because she didn’t quite know how to use the game controller.

Fury soon learned that you were the master gamer, and shamefully handed the controller back to you without a word. This made you laugh. It didn’t keep her from commenting on your gameplay, however. You would still hear the occasional mumble of words from the proud horseman.

She never grew too violent—with the exception of Rampage’s death. You weren’t exactly expecting it at the moment, so it was too late to stop the cutscene before the poor thing had already been murdered. It was at that moment you decided to turn the console off before anything drastic happened...seing as how Fury was now standing, fists clenched, teeth gritted, and flames erupting from her very being.

Strife: He really enjoys watching you play, considering he’s the more excitable and relaxed horseman.

“(Y/N), is that one of those ‘video games’ that humans love so much?” You nod and pat the seat beside you, gesturing for him to sit.

“It’s actually a game about you guys— the four horsemen.”

“Ooooooo.” Strife plops down beside you And watches you play. “So are there multiple games? For all of us?” You nod,

“This is Death’s game that I’m playing.” You happened to leave out the part about Strife not having a game yet.

“Ohhh. I bet my oh-so-brooding brother is soooo fun to play as. Not!”

You shake your head and quirk an eyebrow,”I’m going to tell him you said that.”

After some time of watching you play, Strife admittedly said the game was fun to watch. Whether he did this out of fear from you telling Death, or in innocent truth— you will never know.

Strife also demanded to see some of the other games as well. You showed him War’s, which he found kind of fun, and then you showed him Fury’s. Now he was really hooked on her game—he enjoyed, or at least found some sort of comfort in re-living his experience with the humans. And so, this was the game you stuck with whenever he was around to watch.

He enjoyed watching you fight in-game, and of course he demanded to play himself. If you said no he would just take the controller and laugh at your pouting.

You decided not to say anything, after all, it’s not like a human could win against a horseman. You found his gameplay hilarious anyway—he wasn’t any good. Whenever he would die it would always be his turn to pout. You took these opportunities to happily take your controller back.

The cutscenes at the end of Darksiders 3 really drew his attention. He watched as Haven fell to pieces, reliving the painful memories of the demons attacking the humans. It was hard for you to watch too.

But then, Jones came on screen. You were at the edge of your seat, murmuring to yourself,”Jones what the hell are you doing man you cant take on a horde of demons with two guns...”

The cutscene reveals Jones as Strife at the very end, and your jaw drops. You turn to the horseman beside you,”STRIFE WHY THE HELL DIDNT YOU EVER TELL ME YOU WERE JONES?!?!?!”

The horseman looked at you and shrugged,”You never asked. But that’s not important. DO YOU SEE HOW SEXY THEY MADE ME LOOK IN THIS GAME?!?” The horseman points at the screen,”A slow head tilt towards the camera to show my true identity... I’m so proud of myself.”

You shake your head and laugh. When the two of you finish the game, Strife looks to you,”Alright, so you’ve showed me my siblings’ games, how about mine?!” You awkwardly look away.

“Yeah...about that...”

Having to explain to Strife that they hadn’t made his game yet was perhaps the most painful thing you’ve ever gone through. It was even more painful when he realized they made his siblings’ games before his. You could have sworn your ear fell off from his complaining.

“How could they leave me for last...” You watched as he pouted on your couch. With a sigh, you patted his shoulder.

“It’s alright buddy. You know what they say, you always save the best for last.”

[whosxafraid]

holy christmas dudes....has it really been two years already? i mean i feel like it was yesterday i hesitantly made this blog without any real hope anyone would want to interact with this over sized old man but needing to make the blog anyway because the fecker wouldn’t be quiet---but here we are...and just damn.

Ｇｉｖｅａｗａｙ Ｇｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ：

Give away begins: now - 03/25/19 Give away ends : 6:00pm EST - 03/29/19

1. One like/re-blog per blog.

 I get really turned around and easily confused so please make this  easier on me and only either re-blog the post or like the post.   But only do either one once.          

2. Must be following Luka and be an RP blog in order to participate.

Please don’t just follow to participate in the giveaway, okay? I can’t control you following and then un-following but its super   rude and just karma’s a bitch okay?

3. I need a week or so to get the prizes out after the giveaway ends.

 Bare with me. I keep my promises it just takes me time.

4. Winners will be chosen using the random number generator. Keeps everything nice and fair :)

5. If you are a multi-muse and win, please be prepared to chose one of your muses for icons made.

6. If you win and your muse’s fc is not well known or has little screen time, please be prepared to help me out if I can’t find suitable resources on my own for graphics/icons/etc.

7. If you win and you have a favorite picture or resource(aka movie/episode/etc) in which your muse’s fc is portrayed please feel free to let me know!

8. If you win please be prepared to provide a primary color and/or scheme you would like the graphics/icons to have.

ＰＲＩＺＥＳ:

1st Place: 1 promo graphic, 1 set of Online/Offline/Lurking/Drafts banners, 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s).

2nd Place: 1 promo graphic and 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s). .

3rd Place: 1 promo graphic

                                                    ƓƠƠƊ ԼƲƇƘ!

follow forever beneath the cut

@brooklynislandgirl / @tarnishedhalo / @quothesquills

yes hi i love you always? lol thank you for being my partner is so many fictional crimes. for being a like minded cray like me but also constantly teaching me and bettering me as a person literally every day. i love how we can finish each other sentences sometimes, and are so alike and then completely different so we end up seeing more angles to things. you can put me in tears one second and then rip my soul out the next. i like u, ur a good. so ur kinda stuck with me. stay you cuz otherwise im gonna be feckin lost. 

@morgansmornings

also yes hello is this thing on? I LOVE YOU. yer a fecking gem of a human being and while u may not need me too i will go to war with my bat swinging for u always. you make me laugh when i wanna cry and always are an ear when i need to vent. i love ur imagination and ur brain and i can not gush enough about how amazing ur muse is. its takes someone extraordinary to make someone extraordinary. and your muse is extraordinary. remember that if nothing else. besties always cuz im keeping u sorry not sorry.

@seanceisms / @umbrellakidstm / @wolventm / @scciopath

fucking beautiful human being you are okay. i love you always and i will follow you across any blog you ever make. and that sounded way less stalkerish in my head but whatever you get it. u can’t escape me LOL. always an ear and always a joy to talk to even when we’re doing nothing but trading pictures or headcanons or screaming about stupidity we find or murdering each other with feels. 

@riggsanity

my dude ur a fecking treasure. ur humor is sharp and i love that. your amazing at your hobby and i love every reply i get from you. i love that we can have conversations that stretch over hours because we both get distracted or get busy but we always know where we’re at.  ur fantastic and im blessed to have met you.

@mynameisanakin

there are too many inside jokes and not enough time to list them all. this is a friendship that i fucking love and never wanna lose. ur unique and ur a fecking trip and i LOVE that about you. the sometimes brutal honesty is refreshing to say the least, and i can not word how much i love our thread and our future plots. stay golden like the sand in our Jamaican no fig capes. ;)

@the-blackest-spider

holy balls dude like how long have we known each other at this point? i cant even remember. all i know is i love u and i know we dont talk as much as we used too but i love that we can pick up right where we left off when we do and there’s not a beat missed. ur brilliant and will always ALWAYS be ‘my natasha’. 

@tabbyrp and  @corinnebaileyrp

you two are gifts okay. always have something kind to say to me. always checking on me when my ooc posts get a little weird and sideways. (more than usual anyway). i love both of you and i love our plots and threads. every single one. -throws cookies at both with exuberance- 

@thor-theavengergod

one of my closest dudes.i miss ur thor so much. but im glad we can stay connected on discord. ur artwork is GLORIOUS and always a joy to see pop up on my dash. you’re always an ear and never afraid to say what you think. and that’s really rare in this day and age. Keep being amazing my dude. u shine and it shows!

@bettershotthanbucky | @edithbarton / @hitslikeatruck / @mutatiiions

okay but like world of an au and plot we built i love it. you dudes are fucking beautiful and will always be my bartons(and wolverine/Piotr/and the rest). always. we dont always talk or are in each others day to day but when we do it’s always a riot. you guys are my dudes, dudes. never ever ever ever forget that. i’ll always be here for u dudes. whenever u need me and i know u’ll be the same for me cuz that’s just how ride or die dudes roll. -all the hugs-

@daggermxchanic

man let me talk about how fucking great it is to get to write luka with someone close to where he’s from even if it’s not the same time frame. Its amazing. I love your muse and i love the oppertunities he gives me to explore other facets of luka. Two grumpy old men never gets old and i LOVE ALL OF IT. ur a fucking amazing and don’t let no body tell u different my dude. ur classic.

@deathisachoice

okay we interact more on my pirate blog but fuck it i do what i want. im so glad u were able to finish ur thesis. im glad its behind u and that weight has been lifted. im super excited to get to talk to u more again and make awesome plots for our pirates (and maybe here too). either way ur writing is amazing and so are u. always a joy to talk to and write with!!

@ruthlessmeans / @mockeryofreason

okay but i love u alot. and i wish i could bat away all the bad that’s been happening as of late. just teach it a lesson so it fucks off permanently. but as i cant all i can do is offer cookies and remind u ur loved. i admire the decidcation that u have to ur muses. i love how u think through every angle and facet of them. that speaks volumes about u as a person. keep ur chin up my dude. ur silver lining is coming.

@canadianclaws

not so much rp’ing anymore but we stay in touch over discord and u literally NEVER fail to make me laugh even when i don’t want too or i’m feeling like something four days dead. i absolutely adore u and our friendship and i love that we can just drop funny fucking shit in our chat at random hours on any given day and its no big ya know? JUST LOVE U A LOT -tackle squishes-

@cochetsharpshooter

one of my best dudes and a fucking peach too boot. always uplifting and always the best gifs. years of jokes lbr and no enough angst and time in the day to write it all every probably. u are my bucky, always and forever. never lose ur wonder and ur drive my dude. ur inspiring. truly.

@ronmanmob

a gift with words right here. dedication to your muse on a level i’ve never seen. its phenomenal. always good vibes to talk to, always up beat. its honestly wonderful that we’re mutuals. always love reading your rps and ur blog is general is epic. keep it up. ur a gem.

@noprodigalson

life has gotten busy for u. taken u in different directions and that’s just something that happens. that’s life. but getting to see u pop up on my dash now and then. little updates and fashion drops it warms me up. ur style sense is amazing and so is ur hair. (yes i still want those pants). ur a beautiful human and hopefully life will let u get back to ur hobby here real soon. all my love my dude!

To all my of my followers: 

you all brilliant lights in the world, in your own ways. Never, ever, EVER forget that. you are amazing. you are all special. to me and the other people in your lives that mean the most. stay frosty. and KEEP WRITING. ALWAYS KEEP WRITING. NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER THE TRIALS. KEEP WRITING!!  because remember there was a time when the world thought Van Gogh wasn’t worth anything at all and now he’s a house hold name even little kids know who he is. 

BE BRAVE

BE CREATIVE

BE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

-Crow

[holycalum]

vice (c.h.) part 3!!

summary- (y/n) has another #breakdown but like ACTUALLY this time she goes home just read it 

part 1 part 2 part 4

word count- 3.6k+

a/n- im terrible at summaries i figure if ur reading this far you don’t care you just wanna know what happens ya dig? also i appreciate all the love and support for this fic so much?? because i really thought this would flop but im so happy people are enjoying it. vice is literally my baby rn and i’ve put a lot of effort into it, and to see it pay off is grand ok goodbye. “fuck yeah,” i slurred, holding up my red cup in triumph. “midterms are hashtag over.” i slumped into britt, and she groaned, trying to push me off of her.  

“you’re too drunk,” she yelled over the thumping music. “your flights early tomorrow.”

“don’t care,” i smiled, dancing again. but britt’s word cut through my drunk thoughts moments later, and traveled straight to the gut. i might as well have doubled over because of the sinking feeling in my stomach. i had to go home the next day, and i didn’t want to in the slightest. the remix playing was drowned out as i stopped dancing abruptly, and got stuck in my head. the dark cloud that was rarely over my head anymore came crashing back, and i didn’t have calum to distract me. i had pushed the idea of me leaving college a semester early to kick start my life the back of my head, letting myself get lost in my studies for once, and calum. the second one was really the kicker. i pushed my way through the crowd, suddenly feeling very queasy. i stumbled throughout the unfamiliar house. miraculously i found a bathroom, and practically threw myself into it. i locked the door behind me, and fell to the floor. the cool tile soothed my burning skin, and i felt like i was human again. i crawled over the the toilet, head spinning. 

as i gripped the disgusting bowl and willed myself to throw up, i couldn’t help but let a few tears fall. but that was only the calm before the storm, because soon enough the dark cloud above my head stormed onto me. i cried so hard i gagged, and couldn’t catch my breath. my heart felt shriveled up and small and dead.

i had never been the drunk girl to have a complete meltdown, but i couldn’t stop the emotions from shooting out of every pore in my body. i felt like i was one big sad blob, and i physically couldn’t stop myself from getting drenched in the waters from my dark cloud. 

my crisis was interrupted by a knock at the door, i prayed it was a nice drunk girl that would braid my hair and tell me i’m pretty so i’d stop crying. but when i unlocked the door, calum’s eyes met mine and i cried even harder. i leaned against the cabinets, face in my hands, not wanting calum to see me at all, i wanted to disappear. 

it was funny, in the moments i wanted to be alone with my thoughts the most, calum always seemed to show up. 

“no, no, no,” calum’s words came out frantic, as he kneeled down in front of me and pulled my hands away from my face. the look of panic on his face sent my head spinning. 

“what’s wrong, pretty girl?” his nickname pulled at my heart strings and only made the knot in my stomach grown tighter. 

i couldn’t catch my breath enough to get any words out, so i sat there blubbering like a toddler, looking down, only for calum to tilt my head back up. 

“hey,” he cooed, shutting and locking the bathroom door once again, this time not leaving me alone. he sat against the door, and pulled me to his lap. “let’s just calm down and then we can talk, ok?” he said softly into my hair. i nodded against his leather jacket, trying to take deep breaths. even though i hated being so broken in front of calum, i couldn’t help but cling onto him like my life depended on it. the contact between us grounded me. 

every once in a while a sob would break through my breathing, causing calum to tense up and hold me tighter for a second, before going back to rubbing slow circles on my back. 

once i brought myself back down to earth, i pulled away from his chest, the world around me tilted in all directions. “i don’t wanna go home,” i cried, my words making tears well back up in my eyes. calum’s face was full of guilt as he stared into my bloodshot eyes.

“hey,” he shushed me, wiping under my eyes. he’d need a whole box of tissues to dry my cheeks, “it’s ok, just go slow.” 

“i wanna fall in love, cal.” i admitted, not being able to control the thoughts involuntarily pouring out of my mouth. “i want it all-but i cant have it. they took it from me. i don’t wanna go back.” a lump in my throat sprouted from deep within me, threatening to send me into another crying fit. 

i could see his eyes go glassy, “no,” i begged, “don’t cry.”

“m’ sorry,” he chuckled weakly, reaching up to wipe his own eyes. “going soft, sorry, continue.” another sob wracked through my chest at his state. i leaned my forehead against his chest, letting another cry out. 

“i’m hurting everyone around me,” i said sadly, “i don’t wanna hurt you anymore.” it became crystal clear that everyone was only calum. 

“but it’s so worth it, doll.” he whispered sweetly, smoothing the hairs around my ear. “you’re my sunshine, at the same time. what a contradiction you’ve proven to be.” it almost didn’t make sense. 

i settled against his chest, finally feeling a bit calmer. “an’ i know you’re really drunk right now, so i doubt you’ll remember most of this,” he starts, breath ghosting over my neck. “but, i accidentally let you in and i can feel myself falling for you. and it sucks because you’ll never be mine, fully at least, and you’re one of the only people i’ve let in so close to my heart.”

“stop,” i pleaded, “i don’t wanna know,”

“it’s not a bad thing, pretty girl.” he reassured me, “teaching me that it might be worth it, to let someone in, to enjoy someone’s company beyond sex.”

“i wish it didn’t have to be like this.” i mumbled, feeling very tired. 

“let’s get you home,”

i woke up the next day, to my blaring alarm clock. my head pounded as i flailed my hand around to turn off the terrible noise. it was the day of my flight and i couldn’t have felt any worse. eyes almost glued shut because of how puffy they were, traveled to see i was in the same clothes i was wearing the night prior. i felt like i’d been kicked in the face. clearly i had cried the night before. oh, the night before. 

i remembered almost everything, the crying, calum, more crying. it only made my headache worse. i showered to try and make myself feel less gross, but it only washed away the physical layer of grime. the emotional dirtiness would stay forever. 

i shrugged calum’s shirt over my head, it was dark blue, with maine written in bold white letters. it was probably my favorite shirt on him, so he insisted i have it. it was probably a bad idea to be reminded of calum while i went home, but it made me feel happy, and i could’ve used some light in my life. i pulled on a beanie and my long winter jacket, before grabbing my bags and heading towards the door. my roommates were still passed out from the night before, pillows over both of their heads. 

“bye, guys.” i muttered, before swinging the door open. “jesus, calum.” i breathed, clutching my chest, my heart almost stopping at the sight of him. 

“hey, sunshine.” he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. the nickname launched me into the events of the night before and i willed myself not to break. 

“hi,” i breathed, biting the inside of my lip. “thank you, for last night.” 

“anytime,” he replied, “nice shirt.” this time his eyes sparkled a bit, before his face fell. 

“what’s up?” i questioned, not understanding why he was standing outside my dorm at almost eight in the morning. 

“i wanted to say bye to you before you left,” he rocked back and forth on his heels, hands shoved in his pockets. he looked small, and tucked into himself, “feels like i’m losing you.” he mumbled the last part, almost low enough for me to miss it completely.

“please don’t say that,” i shut my eyes, forcing the tears to stay inside of me. he shrugged weakly. 

“i guess this is goodbye,” he smiled at me, brown eyes shining. my stomach sank and i reached towards him and engulfed him in the biggest hug i could muster. i wanted to keep him with me forever. 

“promise me you’ll see me when i get back,” i begged him, clutching onto him for dear life. his tight grasp around my waist indicated he was doing the same.  

“i promise,” his words were muffled by my shoulders, where his perfect face was squished. he pulled away, painfully, almost making me whine at the loss of contact. “goodbye, (y/n).”

“bye, calum.” i breathed, standing on my toes to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “i’ll see you when i get back-when i get home.” it was honest, being with calum felt more like a home than my own childhood house did. 

“i’ll see you then,” he gulped, and he watched me walk away. the entire trip back to my hometown, i spent on the verge of tears and a nervous breakdown.

[11:34 am] me: i can’t do this 

[11:35 am] calum: cant do what sunshine?

[11:35 am] me: my plane just landed. 

[11:36 am] calum: you can get thru this pretty girl

[11:36 am] me: you have way too much faith in me

[11:38 am] calum: (:

calum’s lightheartedness made me feel a bit better as i gathered my luggage painfully quick. near the baggage claim, my parents were waiting eagerly for me.  

“(y/n)!” my mom exclaimed, in a much different tone than she’d had the last time we spoke. it almost made me throw up at how sweet she was acting when the last time she made an effort to talk to me was to try and get me to drop out of school. 

“hey guys,” i plastered on a fake smile, bringing both of my parents in for a hug. “how are you?”

“wonderful, now that you’re back!” my dad said, rubbing my shoulder. “how about we head back to the house and have some lunch, i’m sure you’re starving.”

“i am!” i lied, i wasn’t. not in the slightest, my stomach was twisted and the idea of food made me want to yakk on the spot. my appetite had disappeared the second i turned around to see calum’s pained expression as i walked away. the drive home was tense, calling for awkward small talk and bad jokes. 

when we walked in the front door, i was greeted by a very happy david. my mouth fell open as i was halfway through kicking off my shoes. i felt like my body had been frozen solid. 

“i thought you didn’t get back for another day,” i deadpanned, not being able to hide my emotions. the whole trip was already emotionally heavy, and seeing david so soon only added another layer overbearing feelings. 

“i wanted to surprise you!” david pulled me in for a lingering hug, he was too keen on surprises for my liking. i hugged him back, and our bodies didn’t mold together like calum and i’s did. i felt no fire, i felt no excitement, i felt nothing except for a heavy emptiness settling in my chest. 

my little sister, maya, bounded down the entryway. “(y/n)!” she yelled, and i ripped myself away from david to embrace her. 

“hey, lil’ one.” i said, smiling for real. i pulled away, looking at her. “not so little anymore,” she was taller than i was now, towering over me by a few inches. 

“how’s junior year?”

“rough,” she rolled her eyes, “how’s college.”

“great.” i smiled widely, catching david’s eye, “i love it, you know that.” it was the in small victories. 

“stressful, though!” david cut in,

“a good kind of stress,” i snapped back, turning my eyes back to maya slowly, boxing david out of the conversation. “i’ve met a lot of great people.”

“who’s shirt is that?” she asked suddenly, gripping the dark blue fabric. her eyebrows furrowed together at the sight of the unfamiliar shirt. 

“just a friend’s,” i smiled, my mouth doing dry. maya wiggled her eyebrows at me, and i hit her arm. i wasn’t really lying, calum and i weren’t together, so that left us as friends, although friends weren’t necessarily supposed to act like we did. 

the air that hung around us was dense and suffocating, so i saw myself to the kitchen, where an array of food was laid out in front of my parents, and david’s.  

“hey honey,” david’s mom smiled at me, pulling me in for a hung. she kept an arm wound around my waist as david’s dad caught my attention. 

“how ya’ feelin, kid?” he asked, grinning widely. 

i gave him a gentle smile back, “i’m great,” i breathed, trying to grip onto the last of my sanity that would make my statement at least a little true. we spent the eve of christmas eve making small conversation, settling into the way things had always been, and will always be. 

i ended up sprawled out on my little sisters bed, late that night, face down. everyone had left, and i could finally feel my shoulders relax. 

“so...” maya sat next to me, causing me to roll onto my side. “you seeing anyone?” she mused, poking my shoulder. 

i sighed, “you know i shouldn’t.” i put simply, trying the avoid the thought and conversation. 

“when has that stopped you?” she challenged, “i know you don’t really love david,” she added quietly, looking at me with caring eyes. 

“even if i was...” i started, “it can’t be a good idea, it’ll only hurt more people in the end.”

maya frowned, “you deserve to be happy, (y/n).”

“i know,” i pulled my lips into a straight line, “i can make it work, i still have you.”

“you won’t be fully happy,” she fretted, her tone more upset than it was before. 

“maybe no ones ever fully happy,” i shrugged, “maybe i’ll just be a little less happy, i’ll survive.”

maya chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, “do you think they’ll make me marry someone i don’t like too?” i sat up, and tucked a piece of her hair behind her hair. she seemed like a little girl again, and it broke my heart. 

“you were always more stubborn than i was,” i whispered, smoothing her hair down, “they can’t hold you down, lil’ one.” she smiled, “goodnight, maya.” the topic became too much to stomach. 

“night, (y/n).” i made my way out of maya’s room, padding down to my old bedroom. it was almost exactly the same, just a bit staler, from the lack of movement. the bed was freshly made, and i climbed into it, feeling drained from the day.

i woke up christmas eve morning, and fell into the bustling nature of the day ahead. i was helping cook and clean and prepare for everyone to come over. that night we’d have cousins and david’s family and david’s cousins over, and we’d all have one big painful night. 

when i was younger, christmas eve couldn’t come quick enough, and maya and i would spend the whole day waiting for the evening. but, as an adult, the festivities proved to be more annoying than joyful and the night rolled around too quick. my late afternoon nap was interrupted by my mother shaking me awake, informing me of the arrival of our relatives. 

i sleepily greeted everyone as they got to the house, stopping for a long conversation with my grandfather. i had never been more grateful for his ability to digress into the longest conversations ever, when i saw david and his family walk through the door. i focused on my grandfather, listening to whatever he was speaking about.

“that’s really interesting,” i said, “tell me more.” i practically begged, and my grandpa almost passed out at the excitement of someone wanting to listen to him. 

“hey, (y/n).” david piped up, his blonde hair was littered with snow flakes from being outside. 

“one second, david. my grandpas just telling me a story-“ i was cut off,

“that’s fine, sweetheart.” my grandpa said, his smile fading a bit. “go on.” i gave him a sad grin, and hugged him briefly before david pulled me towards the living room. 

“i was having a conversation,” i crossed my arms in front of david, pushing him out. 

he rolled his eyes, “i know you hate those conversations,” 

“that one was really immersing me!” i shot back, stomping my foot. he gripped my forearm, pulling me closer, “don’t throw a fit,” he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. 

“whatever,” i brushed it off, knowing i wouldn’t get my way. “what’s up?” “i just wanted to talk to you,” he answered, “i hadn’t seen you since i visited you and we hardly spoke yesterday.”

“m’ just tired,” i rubbed my eyes for effect, 

“we’ve barely spoken on the phone either,” he sneered, his face almost as flushed as his pink shirt. 

“two way street, david.” i said, my face straight and unmoving. 

“you know i love you, (y/n).” david sighed, reaching out for my hand. it was cold and uninviting, unlike calum’s warm embrace. “i just get busy, and distracted. i could use something to pull me out of it.”

“i get busy too,” i stated, my hand stiff in his, and i wondered if this was his idea of love. 

“with that major...” he muttered under his breath, and i almost didn’t hear him. “i just want us to be on good terms.”

“we are.” as good as we could get, it wasn’t saying much, but it was something. he smiled. 

“good.” and then i walked away, excusing myself to the restroom. i stood in front of the mirror, hands gripping the sink so hard my knuckles went white. i let myself breath for a second, feeling i’d lose control if i didn’t. i pulled my phone out quickly, typing a text to calum. 

[7:27 pm] me: merry christmas eve

[7:30 pm] calum: merry christmas to you, pretty girl

[7:30 pm] calum: how are you?

[7:31 pm] me: surviving 

“(y/n)?” a knock cut through my trance and i jumped, going to open the door. 

“hi,” i caught my breath, looking at my mom. 

“dinners ready,” she stated, “you alright?”

“yes.” i nodded, following her to the dining room. david took a seat next to me, uncomfortably gripping my thigh throughout the night. his touch wasn’t reassuring or nice, it was repulsive and empty. 

after dinner, we all sat in the living room, gathered around the tree, giving our cousins gifts and opening them early. it was a family tradition to open gifts from extended family christmas eve, and david’s family had intertwined with ours, making it like a huge pre-christmas. once all the little cousins finished opening toys and sharing with one another we all started to fall into our own conversations. 

“i actually have one more gift,” david’s voice bellowed, it was loud and dripping with confidence. 

oh no. 

“it’s for (y/n),” he said, shifting his weight to one of his knees. 

oh no. 

“(y/n),” he started, grabbing both of my hands and the attention of everyone around us. i felt maya’s eyes shoot to mine, wide and worried. i felt sick to my stomach, “i love you, you know that.” my whole body was lit aflame and not in any desirable way, i felt too hot and crowded and my tongue felt like heavy sandpaper in my mouth. 

i couldn’t do anything but sit there, mouth hung open, heart pumping wildly. i watched his mouth move but i didn’t hear any noise come out, my ears rung loudly.

“will you marry me?” i didn’t answer, i couldn’t answer. 

“of course she will!” my mother shrilled loudly, clutching her chest. 

my eyes were dull with loss, the sharp edges of my memories with calum slicing at my heart as he slid the ring on my finger. i felt like i didn’t have myself anymore, or even know who i was. i didn’t know. i didn’t care. 

david pulled me in for a hug, as our family clapped loudly around us. it was all real and i couldn’t stop it. 

i looked calm, up until i finally shut my bedroom door behind me. all at once my tears flowed out, the dark cloud above my head had once again stormed on me, leaving me soaked to the core. i dragged myself to my bed, not bothering to change out of the clothes i’d wore that night. i felt hopeless as sobs ran through my body, shaking every part of me. my room was miserable and cold, and the only sound piercing the silence was my occasional cries i couldn’t keep quiet. 

i cried for me, i cried for my future kids, i cried for calum.

calum

. i wanted to tell him, i wanted to hear his voice and i wanted him to tell me it was going to be ok, but it wasn’t and not even he could change that. but i longed to feel him, and the brightness he elicited by only giving me a look. my heart ached as i fell asleep, my future dragging me closer and closer.

a/n: ok drama lmk what ya think even if its me being stupid and spelling something wrong but feedback is appreciated! thank u for reading!! part 4 should be up tomorrow or in the next couple of days. ALSO im gonna fosho gonna write more after this is done so if you have an requests pls message me i would love 2 write what yall want ok goodbye love u 

tags: (lmk if u wanna be added for part 4/any other shit i write) @rexorangecouny

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on  the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.