#when i wrote think you can take it angel it corrected to think you can take it bagel and that’s hilarious LOL

[jjkeremika]

Moonlight

description: Mikasa sneaks out to see the boyfriend (eren) her parents don't approve of

pairing: eren x mikasa, eremika (aot/snk)

(warnings ?: "smoking weed", groping, spanking, oral(mikasa receiving), fingering, penetration, mention of daddy, virgin!Mikasa)

It was at the dinner table at the end of the meal when she finally worked up the courage to ask. "Hey mum, dad," she started quietly, crossing her ankles. Last night they almost didn't let her go. "Is it okay if I stay at a friend's house tonight?"

Her dad sighed, and Mikasa deflated slightly. She knew what the sigh entailed. They were about to look at each other.

Her parents looked at each other knowingly, both of them recognizing that the moment they'd discussed last night was already happening.

"Mikasa," her father's loud voice commanded Mikasa's attention from her mother's lack of eye contact, "we know that you aren't really going to Sasha's house."

The weight dropped in her stomach -- oh no. She started playing with the ring on her finger, the unsettling and uncomfortable tingle of being caught spreading down her spinal cord. She silently prayed the heat rushing to her face wasn't visible.

Mikasa's eyes shifted between her two parents, who sat stoically, her father's stern expression digging holes into her skin, her mother's unreadable.

Mikasa inhaled deeply, hoping that she hasn't been silent for suspiciously long. "That's because I'm going to Historia's," she responded slowly, trying not to shrink in front of her father.

"Oh," was all her mother added, sinking into the wooden chair slightly.

"Isn't she the one who introduced you to that boy?" her dad asked. Mikasa swallowed, she didn't think they remembered that tiny detail. "Are you sure he won't be there? Are you sure you're not just leaving to see him?"

She didn't answer in time.

"No. You're not leaving tonight," he commanded. "That's final." He stood and left the table, exiting the room without so much as glancing at Mikasa, who sat in her chair, sad and irritated.

She rolled her eyes as she watched her mother chase after her husband, leaving her to clean up the table.

Eren had called her around ten, asking why she cancelled and if he could see her anyway, park down the street and sneak in through her window. She laughed, a sound which made him smile even through his car speakers. "My dad would kill you."

"Not if I kill him first," he responded, and she could practically hear the foolish smile on his face. She rolled her eyes but it sparked a laugh anyway.

"Oh my," she breathed out after laughing, "I'd be sad without my dad though. What then?"

"I can be your daddy," Eren replied, his tone more serious than earlier. "We both know you already want me to be."

To say she was at a loss for words would be an understatement. She wanted to force a laugh, play along with the joke, but the warmth brewing between her legs and the curling of her toes held her back.

The thought made her blush in a way she didn't expect. More unholy thoughts flooded into her mind, visualizing the muscular, brown-haired man kissing beyond her lips and neck, caressing spots on her body that have never been touched.

Eren hummed to himself at her silence. He was just messing with her, because the way she flustered afterwards was so adorable he couldn't help it. But usually she was stammering, yelling something along the lines of, "Eren! You can't say stuff like that!" with red cheeks and avoiding all contact.

So her silence was... notable.

He was waiting for her to say something, she knew that. But the one phrase unlocked the gates and now her imagination ran wild, reels of Eren kissing and touching places she's never noticed playing nonstop, tingling sensations of how she thought his touch would feel appearing on her skin.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come over?" Eren asked again.

Mikasa wanted to thank him for changing the subject, but his question didn't tame any of the wild thoughts trampling her brain.

"You can't come over," she answered, her throat the driest its ever been. "Like I said," she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "my dad will kill you." I can be your daddy.

Eren felt his trousers tighten as the same thoughts entered his head. He recognized her uneven breathing, the slight tense tone change. He couldn't not recognize it, he'd heard it pressed right to his ear before, when she finally let him kiss her neck. "Right."

The silence only made the blood pumping to their pelvises more noticeable.

After a few moments of the quiet seeping into their bones, they exchanged goodnights and sleep tights and ended the call.

Around two hours later, still awake as her wild thoughts led her down a horny internet rabbit hole, she received a string of texts from Eren, telling her to look outside.

There he was, waving happily at her. She put on her pajama pants and shoes and opened the window, climbing out and leaving a wooden stick to prop it barely open.

Eren led the way to his car with their hands entwined, trying to get away before anyone noticed. He held her hand as they drove to a nearby beach, Mikasa softly singing along to the music.

He took her to a beach, the two of them finding a spot near the car. Eren sat down first and pulled Mikasa onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her to hold her in place.

Eren leaned back lightly and fussed with his pockets to pull out a lighter and roll pack. Mikasa played music quietly on her phone, humming along even more softly, and watched the bundled white smoke escape into the open air, shining in the light of the clear moonlight.

He watched the waterline and sky, being careful to avoid blowing smoke near her face, as she admired the moonlight kissing his skin, highlighting his features in a breathtaking way. She felt her breathing stop when he looked over at her and smiled, her heart skipping beats.

Mikasa held her hand up, non-verbally asking for him to pass the roll. He held it to his lips, inhaled deeply, then put it out. Almost immediately after his hand was on her cheek and angled her face so that his lips were on hers, letting the smoke drift into and out the sides of their mouths and he pried her lips apart with his tongue.

She was so distracted and surprised with his kiss she forgot to inhale. Probably the point. He never let her smoke.

She wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him in place, feeling dizzy from the smoke that made it through or the sudden kiss or a combination of both.

She rearranged herself in his lap without breaking apart, keeping her hands on his cheeks to prevent him from pulling away, not like he was planning on it anyway. She leaned into him until he was leaning back onto his elbows, Eren letting her take control of the kiss and resisting the urge to grind his hips under her.

Mikasa rotated her hips and Eren moaned, the action taking him by surprise. He used his core strength to lift slightly and moved his hands to her neck and back, restraining from reaching for her ass or grabbing her hips too tight.

As they kissed to music of the waves, the sound of their lips colliding together matching the sound of the water crashing into the shore, Eren's hands slowly slid down her back to her butt, yielding to the tempting feeling in his lower abdomen and firmly grabbing the round cheeks with a hard grip.

"Eren!" Mikasa yelped, giggling, and he smirked when she didn't push his hands away. Eren smacked one cheek before taking hold of both cheeks and dragging her closer, moaning at the friction against his growing erection. "E-Eren," she moaned out, tilting her head back as he groped at her cheeks and kissed at her neck.

"Yes, baby?" he whispered huskily, causing the skin underneath his lips to tingle at the vibration. Her open mouth twitched into a smile at the new, pleasant feeling racing to her pelvis. "What can I..." His lips on her skin felt ghostly, the extremely soft tingle so very enticing. "...do to you?"

Eren's hands dipped into her pajama pants while she processed his question, while she struggled to process the sudden blood rush and warm feeling that rapidly ensued. "Oh, I meant for you," he corrected, smirking, softly biting her shoulder to keep her from pulling away.

The feeling of contradictory fabrics rubbing against the palms and backs of his hands turned him on, and it made finding the exposed soft skin of her butt and thighs so much more titillating.

"Hmpf, I, I, ahhh." Moaning felt like all she could do as he pawed at her bum and kissed along her collarbones, feeling the blood pumping to and the liquid leaking out of her pelvis. His hands felt so strong and rugged and his grip was so firm and warm.

"Well?" His voice dropped octaves as it laced with sultry sex, with an unprecedented grumbling neediness she's never heard from him before. "Do you want to stop?" he asked, grabbing her ass and using his arm strength to grind her onto his lap, manually rotating her hips. She was too breathless to form words and her mind was lagging but she shook her head fervently and grabbed his head, pulling him closer to her chest, just above her cleavage, he could feel it.

He brazenly bit the shirt fabric between her breasts, his teeth just grazing against the thin skin under the shirt, realizing just now that she wasn't wearing a bra. She arched her back, puffing her chest out for him, and he felt her breasts brush against his cheeks.

One hand slipped out from her pants into the sand, supporting his weight as he sharply pushed his crotch up into hers, smirking and admiring her euphoric smile as she gasped.

She never answered his question. "Do you want to keep going, angel?" He could already feel the pre-cum leaking into his briefs.

This feeling of his hard erection against her inexperienced clit was new and enticing and favorable and a high she desperately needed to chase. "Yes," she immediately breathed out, starting to grind down on him with more haste, more need, "yes, yes, yes."

Eren's hand held onto her neck and he pulled her in for a long kiss. "Let's go back to the car," he mumbled against her lips, to which she rapidly nodded in agreement.

He gripped her thighs and suddenly lifted her over his shoulder, then stood up to walk to the car. She blushed deep red as her face and hands were close to his ass and her ass was so close to his face and the arm that wrapped around her waist to hold on her felt so tight and secure and it all made her so warm.

Her cheeks invented the deepest shade of red when she remembered the wet spot on her panties that she just knew he could smell. Little did she know it was making his mouth water, making him harder.

He finally put her down in front of the open back passenger door, onto the seats already put down, gesturing with his hand to enter first. He lightly smacked her ass repeatedly as she climbed inside, each one making her smile widen and evoking a giggle.

Eren scrambled in after her, quickly shutting the door and locking the car. Mikasa's phone continued to play music as Eren's hands reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it off effortlessly.

The sight always took her breath away, and she was so distracted drooling over the sculpted abs and deep collarbones and defined pecs and hard nipples that she didn't even register that he'd slipped his jeans off.

She gulped when her eyes trailed down his abdomen, following the deep lines pointing to the prominent tented fabric, blushing and rapidly lifting her eyes back to his chest.

His airy chuckle was soothing, massaging out the breath she was holding. "It's okay," he said as he moved closer, still smiling, sitting next to her and holding her neck, "you can look." He kissed her quickly, then rested his forehead against hers. "I like when you look at me."

There was a slight pause, a settling hesitancy. "I like looking at you," she whispered softly, chasing his lips and kissing him again, following the adrenaline coupled with desire. She shut her eyes tight and held her breath. "And I like when you look at me."

He pulled back slightly so he could look at her entire face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. "Oh, I love looking at you." It was dark, extra dark with the cover of his car, but the moonlight shining through the windows lit up her features, a shining halo outlining her whole body. "Almost as much as I love yo--"

He cut himself off, tightly shutting his eyes and scrunching his face like he'd revealed a secret he shouldn't have, like he'd spoiled a plan, ruined something special. Mikasa's eyes widened slightly, feeling her heart swell and the words I love you too lodging in her throat. blocking off the airflow.

"I didn't say that," he added quickly, nervously, fearfully, "unless... unless you..." Eren eyed her carefully, struggling to read her expression in the shadowed light.

Actions speak louder than words, and the words were lost on her anyway. Immediately Mikasa was removing her shirt, bending awkwardly to pull it over her head. She stared at him afterwards, giggling at his dropped jaw and dilated irises that were fixed on her perky nipples.

She was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable she felt with him, with their clothes on the seats, with his eyes fixed on her body. She didn't feel scrutinized; she felt admired. "Do you want to take my pants off?" she asked, surprising Eren with this sudden erotic confidence.

His eyes flicked up to hers and his dick twitched. "Oh, baby, there's a lot I want to do to you." He reached his hand out and cupped her breast, rubbing his tough palm against her hard nipple, his fingers squeezing the flesh. Their lips met in the middle, engaging in frequent short kisses, Eren leaning over her until her back was flat to the seat. "I'd be honored to take your pants off."

His lips worked down to her nipple and his tongue played with the pointy nub as his hands slid down her naked sides until they connected with the soft fabric. He pressed his head into her chest and lightly bit the skin, swiftly removing the pajamas simultaneously.

He thoroughly enjoyed the sight of his girlfriend beneath him, almost fully naked and squirming under his touch. She squeaked when he pinched her nipple. He smiled at the noise, wondering what else she sounded like.

One hand returned to her breast and the other tightly gripped her butt, Eren moaning when he felt the damp--no, wet fabric between her legs. He kissed hastily towards the spot as soon as he found it, the smell making him salivate and more eager with each sloppy kiss.

He looked up at her once his nose reached the panty line. "Can I please eat you out?" he sounded breathless, starving, like just the thought of licking her out was stimulating his anticipatory feedback loop.

"I don't know what that means." The deep blush on her cheeks was permanent now, with the mental image of Eren's face just above the warmest spot of all now taking residence in her brain. A dangerous image.

"Then can I show you?" He was subconsciously inching his mouth closer and closer, taking the edge between his teeth, praying to his goddess that she says yes.

She nodded, willing but nervous. "Please keep my bottoms on..." she added quietly, starting to feel exposed. The nerves from the unknown were starting to crawl out from under her skin, and the excitement and adrenaline were causing her heart to beat faster than it ever had before.

"Okay," he whispered against her gut, his hot breath tickling the skin just below her belly button. He looked up at her with calm green eyes, a soothing meadow of vibrant grass asking for her to fall into, to relax, and pressed a light kiss to her abdomen. "Okay."

Mikasa craned her neck awkwardly to watch as Eren returned his attention to her skin and lowered further down, until his cheeks were touching the insides of her thighs. Her stomach fluttered as she saw him deeply inhale and lick his lips, and she gasped in embarrassment and covered her eyes with her hand when Eren glanced up at her quickly before pressing his open mouth just above the wet spot, over her clothed clit.

She could feel his smirk as he sucked on the fabric, as he tried to introduce her to the sensation of his head between her legs. She could feel his lips and his tongue through the thin lace, and, when he moved the fabric to the side and his tongue touched her so wet and so sensitive skin, the tingling warmth suddenly spontaneously scattered through her blood to the rest of her body.

"Ahh!" she cried out at the foreign feeling, at the texture of his wet and cool tongue on her hot, untouched skin, adjusting to the heat and waves of pleasure after each swipe of his tongue against the small bundle of nerves.

"E-Eren!" The sound of her repeatedly rambling out his name traveled straight to his cock, and he just had to move a hand from her thigh to his erection, barely satisfying himself physically as he greatly satiated his thirst for her. "Oh, Ere-ahh!" He didn't even really need the physical touch; he could definitely cum if she let him eat her out for long enough.

Her thighs were starting to squeeze against his head and he moaned at the pressure, at the idea of her pushing his mouth further onto her, pushing him to pleasure her more. But the feeling was starting to become tortuously pleasant, almost unbearable, and as her toes curled and as her fingernails dug into his shoulders and as the blood roaring in her ears blocked out every other sound, she orgasm-ed.

"So wet, holy fuck," Eren incoherently mumbled as more fluid flooded out of her pussy, forcibly holding her thighs closer to his tongue to prevent her from pulling away, to force her to feel him sucking and licking--all of it, overstimulation and all.

"Eren, st-ahh! E-Eren, please, stop," she whined breathlessly, the sensation too overwhelming but his grip on her was so tight.

Eren released his hold on her thighs and lifted slightly, crawling over her until his face was in front of hers, only a nose's width apart. He wanted to kiss her, to prove to her how sweet she tasted, how badly he wanted her sugar high.

"You alright?" he asked, chuckling slightly despite still catching his breath.

Mikasa's chest was working overtime, her lungs overcompensating to acquire all the oxygen she moaned out and her heart still pumping to all the right places.

She nodded as soon as she could process his question. "That... felt... so... good," she responded breathlessly, having to take a breath in between each word, a blissful smile across her face.

"I'd love to make you feel even better." His eyes were darker, like the sun had set on the grasslands, leaving various shades of a darkening sunset to admire. Eren's lips pressed to her neck, kissing softly up to her jawline. "If you'll let me," he whispered just below her ear, the sensation trickling down the nerves and shivering up her spine.

Both of them made eye contact and she nodded, leading to Eren practically lunging onto her, their lips colliding a little more haphazardly than before, more greedy, like he was taking what was already his to claim.

He kissed down her neck, sucking and biting at the thin skin as his hand trailed up her thigh, back to that growing wet spot he loved. Mikasa released a shaky gasp as he pressed against it, pressed his fabric-coated finger into the wet hole.

He touched along her clit and ran his hands along the glistening muscles, and she moaned breathlessly as she adjusted to the unfamiliar touch.

"Oooh--Aaah!" Mikasa suddenly cried out when his finger slipped by the fabric and right into her, sliding in so very easily, evoking a surprising moan from her boyfriend as he considered how easily she'd take his cock.

She glanced down at him, eyes wide at the foreign feeling of an object inside her as he inserted a second, and Eren matched her intense stare, crooked his fingers, and started folding them and poking at the velvety tissue.

She couldn't describe it, but she liked this feeling more; the feeling of something filling an empty void--of him connecting with her in a new physical plane. The noises slipped effortlessly from her parted lips and the sweat slid down her body as he bit at her hips and thrusted his fingers in and out of her, alternating the angles and playing with the pace. More for himself.

"Please, daddy, I want you so bad," she demanded hastily, her voice thick with a lustful desire he's never heard before.

Eren froze at the phrase, the only sound being his rapid heart beat, contrasting against the fact that he could've sworn it had stopped. Each pulse rocketed to his cock, throbbing like it was pleading for him to listen to her, to do as she said.

"I knew you liked that," he muttered to himself, not even trying to hide the massive smirk as he lifted himself up slightly. "Are you sure, baby? Really sure?"

He started pulling off his boxers as she fervently nodded, and her eyes curiously dropped immediately to his painfully hard erection, pink and leaky like it was angry for going untouched, causing her face to erupt into various shades of pink.

"Yes," she was breathless, each gasp for air enunciated, "I want this. I want you." She reached her hand to the crook of his neck and pulled him closer, brought her lips to his. "Daddy, I need you."

He was kissing her within a heart's beat, arranging himself over her and moving her thighs around his hips, setting up his cock for what his fingers deemed the best entry angle.

"You have to tell me if it hurts," he mumbled against her lips, drops of worry reflecting the moonlight in his irises. She shivered as she felt what she presumed to be the tip against the muscles, barely touching--hesitating.

Eren didn't wait for a verbal response, only a simple kiss and head nod from her was enough to initiate the process, to start rocking his hips forward and entering her warm, wet, and welcoming cunt.

The pressure was different, and she had to bite his shoulder to take her mind off the stretching muscle--definitely bigger than his fingers. She felt him push endlessly deeper, wondering if maybe he wouldn't fit all the way, if maybe that was her price to pay for inexperience.

She could feel his cock pressing against her walls, could see her lower abdomen expand slightly as he pushed the last bit inside, gasping when his hips connected with hers.

He needed a minute too. To adjust. To reconcile with the countless emotions running through his head. To prioritize one thought and one thought only: pleasing her.

“Think you can take it, angel?” Eren asked lowly, barely taking her earlobe between his teeth before biting down on her shoulder, retaliating for the bite-mark he now proudly wore on his. "Still okay?"

Mikasa breathed out the word "Yes," fully incapable of forming coherent sentences with solid, substantial breaths, and he slowly pulled his hips away. Halfway out before slowly pushing back in.

The drag of his cock carried her body with it, probably developing a car carpet-rash on her back from being pushed up and down with each thrust. She kept her thighs tightly wound around his waist, ground back to keep the contact, to keep the pressure and the fullness inside.

She was rapidly calling out his name, tears forming in the corner of her eyes at the growing ache but the feeling was also fully overshadowed by the pleasurable waves washing through her, like each thrust was calculated to be that way. He soothed her with phrases like, "You're doing so well, baby, taking me so well," and "Such, such a perfect girl for me."

Eren absentmindedly picked up the pace, chasing his own euphoria, while Mikasa continued to wriggle underneath him, continued to rotate her hips and grind down onto his cock when it was already snug inside.

Her thighs were tightening the way they did before, and Eren could feel the sharp pain from her fingernails digging into his back, and he knew she was about to cum again, to scream out his name louder this time. She was whining out, like she was desperately trying to fight the urge, to keep the bliss coming. "Come on, baby, so close--so, so fucking close. Take my cock like Daddy needs you to, baby, the way you're meant to. Fuck, you were so made for me, so perfect for me."

"Eren! Eren, Eren, Eren, Eren, Eren!" She couldn't control it anymore and her body shivered with explosive euphoria, heightened by Eren's cock still fucking in and out of her and having just orgasm'ed for the first time earlier.

Eren pulled his cock out of her as soon as her body stopped trembling and he let himself go, cumming more than he thought he ever has. And when his eyes glazed over the beautiful, fucked-out girl beneath him with pink cheeks and a sore pussy, he felt his heart swell three times its size.

He kissed her, feeling his own eyes well up this time, but fighting the urge out of fear of worrying Mikasa, of making her think she did something wrong when she did everything so very right.

They layed on the lowered seats for another hour, just cuddling and talking about nothing of importance, before Mikasa checked the time and realized it was almost 5am, her parents were going to wake up soon, and she wasn't at home in bed, where she was expected to be.

They both rushed to put their clothes on--Eren asking if he could keep the soaked panties and Mikasa giggling, calling him gross, but still agreeing with that newly familiar tingle between her legs--and scrambled to the front seats. It was 5:30 by the time he was driving down her street.

"You can park in front of my house," she told him confidently, admiring his side profile and eying the slightly visible teeth marks poking from neckline of his shirt, making her blush as she felt the blood rushing to her unregrettably sore pelvis. "They shouldn't be awake yet."

He pulled into the driveway, parked, and turned to kiss his girlfriend goodbye. The long kiss was interrupted by a soft knocking on the window, and a fearful Mikasa pulled away to make eye contact with her mother, an unreadable expression on her face.

Eren waved goodbye to her mother, not wanting to speak for fear of Mikasa's father also being awake and not risking his presence.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to tell," her mother said softly, before Mikasa could even say anything. "I am going to get you on birth control, though. You think I wasn't doing the same thing at your age?"

[nereidprinc3ss]

come on home

in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid

inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers

wc 2857

warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending

a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3

She hung up on you. 

Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better. 

Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either. 

You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.  

So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.  

What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring. 

“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there. 

“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?” 

Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows. 

“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?” 

“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.” 

You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside. 

“Nice, nice. What else?” 

“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.” 

“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening. 

“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.” 

A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself. 

“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.” 

“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.” 

When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”  

You bite the inside of your cheek. 

“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.” 

“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice. 

“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.” 

Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better. 

“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.” 

Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry. 

“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.” 

“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless. 

“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.” 

Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart. 

“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.” 

Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again. 

“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle. 

Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life. 

“Then I’m on my way.” 

Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.  

After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime. 

You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.  

“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?” 

You shake your head and gasp a small sob. 

Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders. 

His hand smooths over the back of your hair. 

“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.” 

You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.  

Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear. 

“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.” 

“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight. 

“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?” 

“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.” 

There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.” 

You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea. 

Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave. 

“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.  

At least, until he goes home. 

Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up. 

“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.  

“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you. 

“That among other things.” 

“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?” 

The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does. 

“Okay.” 

It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.  

“Thanks,” you murmur.  

His lips pull into a melancholy smile. 

“Anytime.” 

There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.  

But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close. 

“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist. 

“I can’t do that, honey.” 

“Why not?” 

His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently. 

“Because we’re not together anymore.” 

“Why not?” 

Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is. 

Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down. 

“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.” 

In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.

“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.” 

He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke. 

“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.” 

You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again. 

“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.” 

Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales. 

“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.” 

When he kisses you, it feels like home. 

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

David and Michael in the interview with Ali Plumb for BBC Radio 1, 10th July 2023

I compared it with it's podcast version and there are some bits that are cut out in the video 👀 but I added them into the transcript ❤ 🐍😊 .

AP: If you're thinking I'm the kind of guy that rocks up to a Good Omens interview with...

Michael: With the book.

David: Oh, well done.

Michael: We'd be correct.

AP: Yeah.

[GOS2 Promo]

AP: So after such a successful and well received first series, what gives you guys?

David: Why risk it?

AP: Why risk it.

Michael: What gives you the right?!

AP: What gives you the cojones to do another one?

Michael: I know.

AP: How dare you?

Michael: It's terrible. When I wrote it.... Well, no, I mean, that's the thing, really, I mean, it's Neil and Terry's baby. And we'd always known that they'd gone beyond the world of the first book. In fact, there's stuff that's not in the first book, in the first series. So Gabriel is a character, you know, who's not there. So we'd always known that there was a lot more.

David: The ideas, the threads.

Michael: Exactly. And they even had a name for a sequel. 668: The Neighbour of the Beast. Which is hilarious.

[A cut out part that is not in the video, but you can listen to in the podcast version of it:

AP: Just take, write the joke and then work it out later.

Michael: The best Good Omens joke isn't even in the Good Omens book.

David: Yeah.

Michael: And so we knew there was all that. So I think given that, that gave certainly us the confidence to know that we were in, you know, safe hands.

David: Yeah.

Michael: And I think gave Neil the sense that it was worth exploring, going further, because I think without that, he would never have done it. If he didn't feel that Terry was part of that ride as well, then I don't think he would have gone on it.

]

AP: At the risk of reading from the scripture, this is what's in the hardback copy of Good Omens: 'Why isn't there a sequel? Neil: Well, we know how the sequel goes. We played around with the idea whilst we were on tour. We even discussed a few scenes, but we could never quite work up the enthusiasm. It'd have been fun. We'd split the cash. But we both had other things to do'.

Michael: Yes. It's very much how we felt, isn't it? We'll split the cash.

David: Yeah.

AP: And run.

Michael: You know, and if we got nothing else on.

David: Well, yeah.

Ap: And you kind of enjoy each other's company?

Michael: I mean, enjoy is a strong word.

David: We're very good at faking it.

AP: Actors. I love it.

David: Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Michael: Yeah, exactly.

AP: When, outside of a show's context or the film's context, have you felt physically, visually the silliest? Because I think in this show there have to be moments. Green screen, full orange wig hair, that you go, no one take a photo of me right now.

David: The opening scene of Season Two is set in space and we're dressed as sort of old fashioned-

Michael: That makes it sound like sort of an episode of Blakes 7 or something, it's not Sci-Fi space, is it?

David: There's nothing wrong with that.

Michael: No, there's nothing... I mean I love it.

David: Jesus,

AP: Are you stepping up saying Sci-Fi's rubbish at this-

Michael: No, no, no! Of course not! No. But what I'm saying is-

David: I don't know who this is

Michael: David is making it sound like it's like Aziraphale and Crowley are in a rocket ship.

David: It is set in space!

Michael: Well, yeah.

David: First series set in space! You can't... it's just factual.

Michael: But not like space 1999.

David: Just space.

AP: It's pure, undiluted space.

David: It's set in space. In fact, it is undiluted space. And for that, we were dressed as a traditional angel in a sort of nighties...

Michael: Yes, we weren't in silver spandex.

David: We were in nighties.

Michael: We were.

David: And we were strapped to make this floating in space - and they didn't have this on Blakes 7 - we were strapped onto these gurneys and moved up and down.

[hehe bonus pic :)]

Michael: I had a jetpack.

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

David: I mean, it looks beautiful. The finished, the finished piece.

Michael: It was very odd, wasn't it? Yes. We were both sort of just like.

David: Yes.

Michael: Hovering around each other.

David: And it was, it was ignoble. Some of the being strapped in and out.

Michael: It was. Yeah.

]

AP: At least it's not Jon Hamming into a room... full Hamm.

[GOS2 Promo]

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

David: The naked Hamm? The naked Hamm was... yeah. He seemed pretty...

Michael: He seemed very relaxed.

AP: He insisted on spending more scenes in that costume.

]

Michael: That was never in the script.

David: No, he just turned up on set.

Michael: That's how he showed up.

David: I had an idea, guys!

Michael: Yes. No, there's lots to look forward to.

AP bursts out laughing: Sorry.

Michael: And lots to look back on.

AP: This second series, having a little bit more wiggle room in terms of where you might be able to take the characters, I think it's fair enough to say. Do you feel more active input.

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

AP: Into where they might go? Because to me, they strike as having a very strong Woody and Buzz factor of...

David: Right.

AP: Bear with me here. You're both not very good at your jobs.

David: How dare you?

AP: It's true. One's no angel. One's far from evil.

David: That's true.

AP: And you kind of are fudging it constantly.

]

AP: Do you feel you have more room to kind of fudge here and fudge there and really muck about with the characters now?

Michael: I mean, I every day when we start, I like to first of all say, Neil, I've got no interest in hearing what you're going to say. This is what I think should happen.

David: Yeah.

Michael: I mean, the thing is, when you've got Neil Gaiman writing it-

David: Yeah.

Michael: -you should have just go, off you go, mate.

David: The last thing you want to do is start putting in your ideas. You don't want to limit anything that's going to come out.

Michael: It's like brain. It's like when Ringo says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

AP: Yesterday, I have notes.

Michael: Listen, listen to what I've come up with.

AP: There's too much guitar in this.

David: Yeah.

AP: More drums.

David: Yeah.

Michael: Yeah. I think one of the things about Neil that is so wonderful is that he is so open and generous with ideas,

David: Yes.

Michael: and he's so not precious about what he's written. He is very respectful of what he and Terry created and is probably a bigger fan than any other fan, but he's not precious about it and he's very open to collaboration. In fact, he's probably the most collaborative

David: Yes.

Michael: I'd ever come across in my life.

David: Yes, absolutely.

Michael: So he loves watching what other people bring to the table, not just actors, but, you know, designers, everyone. And then I think he takes from that and is influenced by that. So it's very collaborative in that sense.

David: Yes. But if we influenced where the characters went in season two, it was sort of circumstantially.

AP: Right.

Michael: Yeah.

David: It was sort of by the act of what happened during season one and getting to know Neil and getting to know each other. But the great joy for us is turning up to these wonderful scripts and going, oh, I get to take this character here now. What a lark.

[again, cut out in the video but present in the podcast version

Michael: I mean, I wrote some very stern emails to him.

David: Yeah.

Michael: Which I was glad to see that he totally ignored.

AP: Screen time for me.

Michael: Yes, exactly.

AP: I like to think the 'I was right, or rather, you were right and I was wrong' dance was organic in the moment, not in the script. And could you give us a quick how might I recreate that beautiful...

David: Absolutely not. No. I worked with the choreographer for some days.

Michael: It's true.

David: Yeah.

Michael: It's true. And am I right in saying that... I wonder if this exists? But when we were filming it, didn't I, on the last take, I made you do it once with you thinking that you were doing it for real, but actually it wasn't for real. It was just so I could do.

David: It was so you could have-

Michael: So I could Strictly Come Dancing [british dance contest]-

David: Exactly that. Does it exist? I think it does exist.

Michael: It must have actually built... I had cards made with scores on them and David, God bless him, came in and did the whole thing again, thinking that he was doing it for the filming. And in fact, it was literally just so at the end I could go, 'SEVEEEEEEN'! [It was filmed, hehe, see here :)]

David: Yeah. But I don't want Amazon to think we're wasting your production...

AP: Money and time. No.

David: And it will show up on a blooper reel somewhere.

Michael: There was no film. There was no film.

AP: It was definitely not a waste of time. No, absolutely not.

]

AP: What would you say the fans have responded most to from the first series when you meet them at comic cons or on social media or what have you? Are there moments from the first series where they love talking about that scene?

Michael: Well, I think people really enjoy the going through history stuff, don't they? I mean, we thoroughly.

David: We certainly do. There's just something about the characters and their relationship, though, that seems to have just caught fire. I mean the amount of...

AP :I won’t read some ot the stories I’ve glanced upon.

David: Right.

AP: Yes. Fanfiction is quite….

David: Oh, I see. Oh that is not for us to read.

Michael: Oh I read it all.

AP: Oh you should. You write most of it, right?

Michael: I write most of it.

David: But it's lovely to see. And I have seen more than I can count. Aziraphale and Crowleys showing up. People dressed and always in twos, always in pairs.

Michael: Yes.

David: You know, and that's lovely. And that seems to absolutely encapsulate what the whole show is about, I think.

AP: Tattoos, fan art.

David: Definitely, yes. Seen a couple of tattoos.

Michael: Yeah.

AP: Yeah. Do you get fans in the street quoting lines or just pointing and staring? Because you two together can't really walk down the street.

David: Michael doesn't walk anywhere.

Michael: Those days are long gone.

AP: Jackpack.

David: Yeah.

Micheal: Yeah.

AP: Yeah, that's fair.

Michael: Well, I get a lot of ‘To the world’.

David: Oh, yes. Nice.

Michael: People like to… yeah.

David: Yeah.

Michael: And 'You go too fast, Crowley.’

David: Ooh.

Michael: There’s a lot of that. That gets jumped around.

AP: What about... and this is a kind of BAFTA winning question, so just send it my way.

David: Wow.

AP: Would you say these characters are in your top three most fun characters you've ever played? Because they strike me as being... I'd probably play these characters forever if I could.

Michael and David: Yeah.

Michael: This is like on what's that show when people have to say whether they want to date each other again? You go first. Top three?

David: I mean...

AP: Number two...one?

David: It'd be a weird scenario to say it wasn't.

AP: Yeah, I agree.

David: In this situation.

AP: Yeah.

David: To start something: well, I mean, it's sort in the little twenties. But... No, we did have an irresponsible amount of fun.

Michael: Yes. Not really like working.

AP: No.

Michael: I mean, I very much hope that we eventually get to, in one way or another, in one form or another,

David: Yeah.

Michael: get to play them just very, very old. And it may well be... I mean, we joke about doing a theatrical tour.

AP: And swapping.

David: I'm not joking. I'm not joking about that.

Michael: No.

David: It's a lovely little retirement plan.

Michael: I know.

AP: I'm dead keen on Good Omens 666. I think...

Michael: Oh!

AP: It's just there.

Michael: Yes.

David: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AP: Think about it. Post apocalyptic...

Michael: Part, like Good Omens 1, 2, 3, all the way up to 666. I mean, that's a long running series. That's longer than Frasier.

AP: Big words. If a bad joke's worth telling. 666.

Michael: Telling over and over again.

AP: Over and over and over.

David: Yeah.

AP: Guys, I'm going to ask you one last favour as I wrap things up, which is I have at the front of this book, one Mr. Neil Gaiman.

[shows a copy of Good Omens signed by Neil Gaiman].

AP: He signed it and he said as he often does: Ali, have a good doomsday. Would you care to deface?

Michael: I heard the other day that someone went to interview George Harrison and the person who interviewed him said, would you mind signing this record? Whatever it know, the white album, whatever. And he went, do you want them all? And they used to all write each other's name, all sign each other's names.

David: Wow.

Michael: Because they had to do it so much.

David: Do you want to do mine?

Michael: Just get Neil to do that.

AP: Could you please sign as your man? I'll be very lucky.

Michael: On a different page.

AP: You pick your own page, deface as you will.

Michael: Yeah. Look at that. I do a little halo.

David: Oh, that's given me an idea.

Michael: Oh look at that, yeah.

AP: And then while I'm here, I'm going to do the super unprofessional thing of asking for a photograph, if that's allowed.

David: Yeah.

Michael: Oh, look at that.

David: That's perfect.

Michael: That's nice, isn't it?

AP: Beautiful. Would you mind helping me out?

David: Do you see what we've done there, Ali?

AP: Oh, thank you!

Michael: And yours is D for...

AP: I'm going to kneel behind you.

David: Sure.

Michael: I thought I should turn my M into wings.

David: Oooh.

Michael: This is, this is...

AP: Guys, as you may have worked out, big fan.

David: Cheers, Ali.

[benedictscanvas]

pretty boy, pretty girl - jamie tartt x reader

pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader

word count: 2.1k

a/n: okay yes. it has been six months. which is actually mad to me, but there we are - whoops! i've been off following my dream and wrote this while procrastinating an assignment, so this is by no means a return!! honestly i was just itching to write it, but i don't know how much time i have for more - enjoy nevertheless <3

warnings: just a little bit of suggestion towards the end, reader is referred to as 'pretty girl' as the title implies amongst other pet names, quite a lot of swearing (some things don't change)

---

“Hi love.”

Jamie barely murmurs it as he walks past you, can’t help himself but to drag a palm along your back, one shoulder blade to the other, as he goes. 

He knows he’s bold sometimes, but he swears it’s instinct. He glances back to see whether your expression holds any discomfort, but all he finds is your grin, a tiny wave. He continues on his path towards the canteen, knowing that your corridor conversation with Rebecca is probably important.

Somewhere between here and there, he decides to get your lunch, your usual, and sits alone on a table until you appear.

You do, three and a half minutes later. As soon as he sees you, the irrepressible urge to make you grin again is back with a vengeance. He waves you over to his table with a gesture to the food he’s got for you and- there it is again.

If he was a slightly smarter man, maybe he’d consider why all it took was the sight of him to draw your lips upwards, set your eyes alight.

“Thought I’d save y’ from the queue,” he speaks, still soft, in a tone he feels he only uses with you. You match his unnecessary low volume.

“Thanks, angel,” you say easily, and you must not see his stomach doing flips, “Too good to me, you are.”

“Shut up,” he deflects, wonders if you can see him fluster at your nickname for him, “Are you still coming tonight?”

You groan. He frowns, and you quickly correct.

“Sorry. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, you sound proper convinced, an’ all.”

You chuckle, taking a bite out of your sandwich and taking a pause to chew. Jamie eats too, content to let you think before you speak. It was slowly teaching him to do the same.

“I’m just boring, Jamie. My favourite people are all under this roof, but usually they’re sober, you know?”

He often forgets you don’t really drink. Your friendship (however sour that word feels in relation to you) usually confined to these halls, to the pitch, to various football stadiums up and down the country. When they all get a chance to let loose, you’re very quick with the excuses, but he’s believed them blindly until this moment.

“Shit, y’ don’t drink, right? I can’t imagine that’s much fun in a club. I won’t tell anyone if you happen to come down with an illness or somethin’ this afternoon.”

You’re grinning at him again, all bright and sunny. It’s downright infectious, so Jamie nudges your foot with his on purpose and then apologises like it’s an accident.

“You’re alright,” you reassure, “I will join tonight. Even if it just proves to myself I’m not missing out on anything. Maybe Colin’s not as bad a drunk as I’ve been led to believe.”

Jamie winces.

“No, he is pretty bad,” he admits and then finally comes up with something to make you more comfortable, “Hey, what about this? I won’t drink either and we can spend the evening laughin’ at everyone else.”

You poke his hand and he tries not to drop his crisp packet.

“It’s everyone’s ‘relax and recharge’ night, Ted said. We both know you relax much easier with a few drinks in you. And I’d never judge anyone for that, I really hope it doesn’t come across like I’m judging any-“

“It doesn’t, sweetness,” he cuts in, “But actually, I’ll relax better if I’m one hundred percent positive that you’re relaxing too. What better way than judgin’ everyone else, together like?”

You purse your lips thoughtfully, mid-chew. He feels like he’s holding his breath, like he’s underwater and you’re in charge of the oxygen tank.

“Well, see how you feel when we’re there. It sounds lovely but only if you’re still up for it when we’re right next to a bar,” you say, still unconvinced. He wants to convince you fully, but he can’t decide if he should argue with you or kiss you silly before you speak again, “Hey, if not, I’ll buy you a drink?”

“Pretty sure that’s my line, love.”

“I said it, I meant it. Girls can buy drinks for pretty boys, you know.”

He thinks you might have removed his oxygen tank now. There’s some cruelty in that sentence but you don’t know you’re wielding it. He wills himself to flirt back even though it’ll only make him feel sick.

“Okay, pretty girl. One passionfruit J2O, please.”

Another grin. He’s so fucking fucked.

---

He’s been waiting for you for around forty minutes. He doesn’t know if that’s the normal amount of time you take to get ready, even if he wishes he knew, so he just waits, leaning against his car.

After fifty, he decides there’s no harm in just checking you’re alright and haven’t slipped on a sparkly floor that an evening cleaner has done a number on.

You mentioned going to the kit room to get changed, and he meets Will on his way there.

“Hey mate, you seen Y/N?”

Will looks paler than he’s ever been. Guilty. Jamie narrows his eyes and waits.

“Kit room.”

It’s all that Will says. When Jamie doesn’t walk off immediately, still waiting for an explanation for Will’s strange demeanour, Will turns around and legs it all the way down the corridor, turns left at the end and never returns.

Jamie shakes his head and continues in the direction of the kit room. The closer he gets, the more he hears. Muffled banging, shouting. He picks up the pace.

“Y/N? Love?”

“Jamie! Jamie, in here!”

Your voice floats out from the kit room and he hurries over. Still very confused, Jamie turns the door handle and finds the door won’t budge, however hard he shoves his shoulder against it.

“It’s locked, babe. Did you lock it?”

He hears your exasperated sigh and feels a little embarrassed.

“No I didn’t bleeding lock it! Well, I did, when I was getting changed, but then when I unlocked it my side it had been locked from the outside.”

Jamie struggled to put the dots together. Had Will locked you in? Judging by the running, he had… and he’d done it on purpose. A spark of anger shot down Jamie’s spine but he tried to convince himself there must be a reason.

Before he could, there was a hand on his on the door, pulling him away. It was being unlocked by another hand and then he was being shoved inside, hard enough to stumble against one of the benches. A piece of paper was thrown at his face and Jamie groaned as he heard the lock click back in place.

“What the fuck?” he muttered as he stood up fully, more dazed than angry now as he stared at the locked door.

“Jesus, Jamie, are you alright? Who the fuck was that?”

“I dunno,” he says, staring at the door as if it might have answers. Your hand on his face wakes him up, his eyes shifting to yours where you look him over with concern.

“You’re alright, though?”

You ask it like you need the answer, and Jamie needs you to stop trailing a finger along his hairline either way.

“Fine, love,” he assures you, patting the juncture between your shoulder and neck gently until your hands drop to your sides. Then he raises his voice, and he’s not really talking to you anymore, “Whoever’s locked us in here as some kind of joke won’t be fuckin’ alright though!”

No answer. He picks up the small piece of paper from the floor and reads it in his head.

Tell her, you prick.

He’s actually going to hit Roy with his car. Lightly, definitely not enough to damage him, but enough to really, really piss him off.

This was all some ridiculous attempt to make him tell you how he felt about you? Absolutely not. Never. He wouldn’t be coerced into something so delicate, so important.

“What’s it say?”

You’re peering over the top of the paper, but he folds it in two before you can read anything. His chuckle comes out strained.

“It says: Get fucking pranked. Must be Roy, he’s probably scared Will into helpin’ him, the fucker. I’m afraid it’s payback for putting all his socks on the ceiling last week, babe, an’ you’ve been caught in the middle.”

You pause, staring at your shoes. For some reason, you look far more forlorn than the situation calls for, but it’s gone before he can think about it further.

“On the ceiling?”

He nods and you giggle. It’s only as you step away from him in your laughter that he realises how close you had been. He should’ve savoured it.

It’s also only as you step away that Jamie finally gets a glimpse of your outfit and nearly reaches out to the nearby bench for strength. He’s never seen you in a v-neck anything before, let alone a dress, and he thinks it might do him in.

“You look good,” he says lamely, then tries again, “Great. Fan-fuckin’-tastic, I mean.”

“I like that last one,” you smile, ducking your head. He thinks, or rather hopes, you’re a little flustered, “Fan-fuckin’-tastic happens to be what I was going for.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, words gone as soon as he’d found them. And now he was staring. Shit.

“I like your suit,” you say, maybe breathless yourself. It must be his ears. You reach up as if you might fiddle with his lapel but just point towards it before your hand drops again. You practically fall down onto the bench you’re both stood beside and he follows, ever obedient, “Shame no one else will ever see it. How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”

The suit isn’t for anyone except you. That’s what he’d say if he had any stupid bravery. He’s an awful coward, he thinks.

“Until Roy gets bored or Keeley finds out I reckon,” Jamie guesses, “Y’ wanna play I-spy?”

You sigh, but when he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye, you’re grinning your silly, lovely grin again.

“I spy with my little eye…”

---

It is around 11pm, when Jamie has not long fallen asleep against the jacket he had scrunched behind his head, that he feels your hand on his ankle. He can tell, as he wakes without opening his eyes, that you’re not trying to rouse him. The touch is light, feathery. Maybe an accident.

No, not an accident. It wouldn’t have lasted this long, and your thumb is drawing absentminded circles into his ankle bone. You think he’s asleep and you’ve reached out to hold him anyway.

He opens his eyes but doesn’t move. His legs are stretched out on the bench in front of him and you sit upright next his sock-clad feet, one hand on his bare ankle. You’re staring at a piece of paper so intently he wonders what could possibly be so interesting.

“This doesn’t say get fucking pranked, Jamie,” you murmur, and his hand flies to his jacket pocket. It must have fallen out when he slumped into a slumber. He’s sat up in a blink, watching the hand that had been so soothing, fall back at your side suddenly.

“I’m sorry. Shit. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“No, don’t,” you insist, still staring at the piece of paper. Instead of whirling on him for answers, you reach calmly into one of the boot cubbies beside your head and pull out a piece of paper from one of the boots. You chuck it at him without looking.

He unfolds it with careful, if shaky, hands.

Tell him, you silly shit.

It takes him an absurdly long time to understand what the hell this second piece of paper means. Later, when the two of you look back on this moment (and you do so often), you’ll wonder how he could have been so dense and he’ll spin you a line about how too good to be true it all felt. But in the moment, he has no lines and no words, until your hand lands heavy on his knee this time.

“Jamie,” you say softly, through a grin that is so different from your usual that he could pass out. It’s so beautiful and so strikingly lovesick that he thinks he might actually be sick, “What do you have to tell me?”

“What?”

He feels dumber than he’s ever felt. But your hand is still on his knee and now you’re shuffling closer to him on the bench.

“What do you have to tell me?” you repeat, then you poke his chest playfully as you add, “You prick.”

He still looks confused, so you clearly decide the best way to catch him up is to kiss him.

You pull away after a moment, a moment of pure heaven, because clearly you don't want to kiss him fully until he's all clued in.

"Come on, pretty boy," you say, teasing, "Figure it out. I was going to buy you a passionfruit J2O. It's the sign of all signs."

He should be laughing at your joke, but all he really wants to do is kiss you again. And again.

Maybe again.

"Oh pretty girl," he says, and he feels the rumble of his low tone in his chest. He places a hand on your face, fingers itching at your hairline, "I'll tell you anything ya wanna hear, I swear. Anythin'."

He hears your breath hitch, but he feels it too, where the meat of his palm is covering your neck.

"Anything?" you answer back, "I could have a lot of fun with this."

You scrunch up your brow like you're thinking and he's so stupidly in love with you that he just tells you. Too-soon be damned.

"Smooth talker," you laugh, giddy, and you kiss him again. And it's so good that he doesn't even remember you didn't say it back until hours later.

(at which point, you say it back so many times and in so many ways, Jamie is certain that he's the luckiest man in the world. he might not hit Roy with his car after all)

[starlightdreaming]

WELCOME TO LULULUNA!! YOUR SECOND HELL OF PAINNN MUAHAHAHA!!,!

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader! Ch. 2!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel!

Content Warning: MORE ANGST! (Regret, consequences of actions and swearing and stuff idk)

Synopsis: Lucifer loved you but there was something in the way he couldn’t tell you, someone was always watching.

Further note: I WROTE TWO ANGSTS IN ONE DAY AND I PERSONALLY WANNA CRYINGNMUTFU KING EYES OUT SOMEONE GET ME THERAPYPLAES (not proofread BUT ENJOY!!) - ✨Lolo💫

Chapters!: Chapter 1 ✧ Chapter 2 (you are here) •<•)b ✧ Chapter 3 ✧ Chapter 4 ✧ Chapter 5

(NOW THIS CHAPTERS SONG IS:

to further improve reading, I recommend listening! (It helped me write this too))

｡･:*:･ﾟGoodbye Luna･ﾟ:｡*:･｡

The new job you had been assigned by the higher ups was pretty simple, just make stars, bring them to life, give them the ability to help others like the stars helped you in your depression, repeat!

You smiled down the streets of Halo city, seeing all your stars help others and help the community in general, for once, you felt rather proud of yourself, you were always working but that didn’t bother you at all, it helped you ease your mind as you made the little stars, it was your comfort and now its your job, this was a perfect absolute win - win!

After Emily came along into your life, you decided it was time for a change, she was always so bright and comforting, when you told her you were changing your name as a ‘new person’ she fully supported you! She had made sure to always call you your correct name and made sure others did as well, including her sister Sera.

It was such a new feeling.. to feel that you belong, it was heart warming. You don’t think you would change your life for anything else, seeing as Emily and Sera welcomed you like their own sister and there was nothing better than that.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

Lucifer sighed as he sat next to Lilith, crying, Lilith being there to comfort him as he leaned down onto her chest while she pat his head, “I know it hurts, dearest.” She comforts, “But we both know it was for the best, remember that..” She swoons, kissing his head gently, “It’s been so long, Lilith, I really miss her.” Lucifer whimpers before another tear fell from his face, he remembered the hurt in your eyes and that was taking a toll on his soul, “when the day comes, you can tell her everything about it, alright dear?” Lilith smiles gently, cupping his face to look at her, “I know, Lilith, it just… hurts.” he says before wiping his own tears, “But now that its done, I think it’s time we move to our next step..” Lucifer says as he stands up, taking Lilith’s hand into his own.

“Once we find Eve, give her the apple and my Luna will be free.” He smiles, walking toward the oak tree, seeing as how it was put back together with stars only you knew how to make but still definitely showed as damaged, his smile softened, knowing that this meant that he still had a chance to explain everything to you. He leaned against the tree whispering, “I’m sorry, Luna.” before he walked away with Lilith, hand in hand.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You hummed to yourself, making stars in your office that was completely covered in stardust, you included.

You flew around your office as the stars floated around you, noting down on your white board on how to improve your stars, it was an everyday routine for you but sometimes… when you look out your office window and see all the Heaven born angels outside, you couldn’t help but miss that special somebody you could never see again, you often sat down in your chair, making silly constellations of Lucifer cause of your longing but remember the words he shouted at you would always make the constellation dissipate or shatter. You sighed before deciding maybe it was time for a break, lunch time it is!

You moved some stars out of the way as you tried to get out of your office, upon exiting your office you had to dust yourself off from all the star dust that glittered your clothes and hair, most would fall off but some would still stick to you, it wasn’t that important to clean yourself since you would be covered in the dust once you came back.

Upon flying around Halo City, a few stars had assisted you on serving your meal, taking your orders and working together as they chimed and squeaked as communication, this proving that your stars were successful to the community in Heaven, “thank you my children.” You smiled as your stars chimed at you, going back to work.

After eating, you decided to head back to work, feeling happy and full from your meal, leaving the little cafe, you flew back to your office, you paid no mind as you walked down the halls until you turned around the corner, “What do you mean I can’t see her? She’s my best friend!” A familiar voice shouted to an employee who was at your office door, You saw Lucifer who had completely disheveled hair and looked like he was in a frenzy, “Please, you don’t understand! I need to see her!” he pleaded again, you stared at them both from shock and surprise, your stomach getting a sinking feeling that maybe you should just run. The employee batted an eye at you before looking back at Lucifer, this made Lucifer to turn to your direction, the split second of eye contact he had made with you made you hide completely in the corner of the hall, ‘shit’ you thought as you started running off to who knows where, “Luna? Luna wait!!” Lucifer shouted to you, the name making you feel sick, you haven’t heard anyone call you that in a long time.

You tried to fly home, lock your doors and stay there for months until Lucifer was completely gone, but he caught up to you before you could even finish the thought, He held onto you dearly and tightly, you struggled in his grasp as he teleported you both to the garden of Eden, it was happening so quickly as you both fell to the ground, crashing, he protected you from the fall when you both imoacted into the grass, tumbling and rolling.

He grunted as he rolled into a tree, giving you the chance to kick away and crawl backwards away from him, your heart beating rapidly from the unexplained situation you were in, “What in the heavens is happening? get away from me!” You shouted, picking yourself up as you dusted yourself, stepping away from Lucifer, trying to brush off the dirt that got on your clothing.

Lucifer tried to recover but he seemed to have been hyperventilating to even care, “Listen, Luna-“ he tried to speak, “Don’t call me that!” you hissed, the name making spite fill your eyes, “You lost that ability to do so.” you say as you crossed your arms looking away in irritation, “Please- just- just listen to me,” Lucifer begged, “And why should I? after everything you did? everything you said??” You asked in a much higher tone, “I don’t have much time! please!” He begged, hugging you close in desperation, the hug was so unexpected to you, it felt sick and insulting, you pushed and punched him off you, “You think you can just touch me like you didn’t fuck up my life?!” You say as you recomposed yourself after pushing him away, tears were in his eyes, “I’m in so much trouble! you don’t understand!” he shouted, his voice cracking but that only made you more pissed, you couldn’t help but laugh as you started connecting that dots, “Oh I get it,” You say more irritated when you realized the situation, “You’re in trouble and since Lilith can’t help you, you’re asking ME for help? tch, please.” you rolled your eyes, turning away and waving him off, “That’s- That’s not it!” He cries, trying to hold you, “Luna, you have to listen! I gave an apple to Eve so she could have free will! and since she broke free from control, that means that-“ He tries to explain quickly but the Seraphim’s had arrived to your location, “Lucifer! You are to be silent!” A loud voice echoed, his eyes widening in fear, you turning to see Sera and other angels you weren’t aware of.

Lucifer looked up at the seraphim’s, down to you, then down to the ground with wide eyes full of tears, “I’m too late..” He whispers under his breath, only for you to hear, you turned to him confused as angels that looked similar to him began to hold him down, you stepping back in surprise, ‘what the hell did he do?’ you pondered to yourself, “and you, Y/n, what are you doing here?” Sera asks in her angel form, you crossed your arms looking away from Lucifer, “He dragged me here when I was trying to get to my office.” you explained, walking towards Sera and standing by her side as you watched Lucifer get dragged by a few angels, Lucifer looked at you with apologetic eyes but that only made you advert your gaze, not wanting or bothering to defend him like all the times you had done all the years you had been together, just like how he made you suffer alone, he was getting the same treatment now, karma at its finest.

Lucifer didn’t care what was happening to him, he just wanted to see you again, he wanted to look at you again, he wanted you to look at him, he did that all for you…! but at what cost…? you walked away with Sera, not even giving him a second glance. He looked down, wallowing in his guilt, “please come back to me, my Luna.” he whispered under his breath.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You went back to your office with Sera, you expected to go back to work and do your usual, “You can’t work today, Y/n.” Sera ordered, “What? Why?” You asked in bewilderment, “Since you were with Lucifer before we could find him, you are now a witness.” Sera stated, you were shocked from this, “What do you mean? What did he do..?” You asked a little afraid to know the answer, Sera took a deep breath, feeling tired from how crazy the day seemed to have been for her, “A few days ago, Lucifer gave Adams’ new wife an apple.” Sera explained, “an apple?” you raised a brow, not understanding why an apple made the subject so serious, “Yes, an apple. It was made from the tree of knowledge, it gave her free will, she broke out of our control,” Sera continues as she paces in your office, pushing away stars that got in her way, “And because of that, evil has found it’s way to Earth.” Sera finishes as she looks down upset. You gasped when she finished, “Lucifer brought evil into creation that we spent so much time and effort into making??” You asked in complete shock, no wonder he came to find you, he wanted to use you as a defense to escape trouble, he was so selfish.

“Yes and now you will have to join us in court, since you were the closest to him.” Sera says as you advert your gaze from her, not feeling proud from the amount of years of your life that felt as they had gone to waste with a stranger far in the past.

“When is it?” You asked, “Since it’s urgent, it’s being held now.” Sera says, “Wait what-“ you say but before you could finish, you were teleported into the court room, you blinked twice before processing your surroundings, Lucifer at a table with Lilith, they both looked nervous, seeing the two of them together put you in a sour mood rather quickly.

“Since the Seraphim is here, I suggest this court meeting begins now,” A voice spoke, you look down at the person seeing a tall male that was quite charming, “Greetings everyone, My name is Azreal,” He said calmly and authoritative, “I am here today for the incident of evil breaching the creations of Earth, caused by; Lucifer Morningstar.” He states out, the public gallery gasping and whispering amongst each other as you looked at Lucifer, you felt worried for him and you hated that, he had betrayed your trust, he turned his back on you and your friendship, so why on Earth are you so worried about him? when Lucifer caught you staring you glared at him before turning away, continuing to listen to Azreal.

“We are gathered here to discuss the punishment Lucifer deserves after destroying the divine creations we had worked hard to make, do we have any ideas?” Azreal asks, waiting for anyone to answer, “Well obviously community service ain’t gonna help.” someone snarked, sarcastically.

“Yeah! all that hard work just for it to go down the drain in a blink of an eye? he deserves the worst of the worst!” A voice shouted angrily, others obliging as well, they began to argue and yell at Lucifer, you, watching as you put up a facade, staring nonchalant at Lucifer and Lilith. Lucifer hid under his hat worriedly as Lilith tried to hold his hand for comfort, you thought for a few moments, thinking about what they deserved.

Sera silenced the court room with a raise of her hand, “he should pay…” you mumbled quietly, only for Sera to catch on, “What was that, Y/n?” Sera asked, leaning down closer to you, “He should pay.. by living in his own mistake.” You say, confusing the higher elder.

when you broke that oak tree, it was the worst mistake of your life, all those memories were shattered into pieces and you tried.. so hard to put it back together, it did in the end but it barely stayed, despite that, you drowned yourself in guilt and sorrow, pain and sadness for months and you think, thats the perfect thing he should suffer from too.

“He should live in his mistake, create a realm of evil that he can drown in, it’s what…” you hesitate, hugging yourself to finish your sentence, “he deserves.” you finish, looking down at him and Lilith, you felt sadness and guilt, hatred and disgust all at the same time, you didn’t know how to react, this whole mess was beginning to give you a headache, he tried to use you to protect himself in all this mess and yet, all you wanted to do was cry and tell the court to forgive him! forgive and forget, but you were so full of hurt you couldn’t do either.

“don’t credit me for the idea, Sera,” you began to feel the tears escape, “please.” you pleaded silently. Sera understood and pat your head gently, “If you could listen, I have an option.” Sera calls, the court listening as you hid from everyone’s view, “We can make Lucifer face the consequences of his actions by making him drown in his own mistakes,” Sera says, trying to go off by your words, “we can create a realm of evil, so only it stays far away from the grasps of Heaven, Lucifer can be sent to the realm, to face the actions he had committed.” She finishes, Lucifer and Lilith’s mouths a gap, looking at Sera in disbelief, the court room began to murmur and whisper amongst themselves in a more calm manner, “That sounds like a fantastic idea!” Azreal smiled, “Very well then, all those in favor, raise your hand,” he says, raising his own as 99.9% of the court raised their hands into the favor, Lucifer looked around, fear rising in him but the sliver of hope was withheld when he saw you staring at him with dull, lifeless sad eyes, he looked at you pleading for help, but in this situation, you can’t.

“Miss Y/n.” Azreal called, “Is there a reason you aren’t raising your hand?” He smiles at you charmingly, you still stared at Lucifer before turning away from his gaze, slowly raising your hand… The small chance of hope burnt out when he saw your arm raised, the pain in his eyes showed, “Luna, please! you have to understand!-“ He begged, trying to go for a last ditch effort. When he called you by that name you glared at him, infuriated that he was desperately trying to get you back only when he needed you most, you leaned over the balcony, tired of his whining and crying for you, of all times he could have asked for forgiveness, he chose the time when he was in deep shit of trouble, “What. in GODS NAME do you want from me?” you sweared beyond the swearing of swears in front of the court, making everyone gasp but you didn’t care.

You flew down to the table he sat at, Azreal moving to the side, interested in the things about to unfold, “Of all the times you could have came to me, to ask for our friendship back, you choose the time you desperately needed to use me,” You snarled, “I’m sick of your shit Lucifer, you never needed me and you made that VERY CLEAR, the moment you told me to step out of your life AND I DID.” you said poking his chest, your angelic form appearing.

“You deserve this and we. both. know. it.” you finished as he looked at you with guilt in his eyes, hurt and regret, “I didn’t ask for things to turn out like this,” He said weakly, you stepped back from him to give him space, “I love you, My Luna.” He confesses in complete heartbreak, his hand to his chest as he cries, Lilith watching as she comforts him, your eyes widen from his statement as the court gasps, “What the fuck are you saying? you love Lilith!” you shouted at him in full confidence, “See? you don’t understand,” He cries, you were puzzled and insulted from his confessions, it put your mind into a frenzy, “Lilith and I were secretive because-“ “I don’t want to hear your sorry, pathetic, excuses!” You shouted at him, your chest huffing from the stress he keeps pressuring you into, “My name is NOT Luna, YOU never loved me, you chose Lilith over me, you chose EVERYTHING ABOUT Lilith over me! you love me? what a fucking joke!” you barked, Lucifer sitting down in his own chair, “I’m going to say it since you can’t seem to understand, if you want me out of your life,” you say pointing to yourself, walking to him, “then I don’t want YOU in my life.” you finish pointing to him, hatred in your eyes as he looked at you with tears falling.

it was silent in the court room, no one dared to speak up from the tension, until Lucifer swallowed before saying one simple word that forever decided what would happen between both you, Lilith and Lucifer, “Please…” he begged one last time, you squint your eyes, understanding that no matter what you say, it will never get through to his head, so you decided to be the final push of this pure broken relationship.

“Azreal, send them away.” You ordered, turning away from them both, standing behind Azreal as he walked up to them, “Guess it’s done and over then, you heard the seraphim.” Azreal smiles, Lucifers eyes widening, “Luna, Luna! please!” Lucifer begged but you ignored his calling as Azreal opened a portal.

Lilith and Lucifer held onto each other as angels forced them to go into the portal, angelic spears making them walk into their own fate, “Going down?” Azreal joked as he made Lucifer trip backwards, falling into the portal with Lilith at his side, his wings holding her up as he held onto the edge of the portal, left hanging with Lilith in his arm. Azreal smiled and waved before standing back.

“Lilith hold on, okay?” He says, looking down at her as she held onto him with his other hand. When he looked back up, his eyes widen when you appear above him, your demeanor was just pure sadness, lifeless and dull and finally for once in years, he sees a smile crack on your face, one of just pure neglect and hurt, he couldn’t look away, although he did this all for you, you would never understand why, this was not the smile he wanted to see on your face, this isn’t what he wanted or what he was trying to do for you, he wanted you to be free… and now that you are, he couldn’t share it with you…

You held his hand gently, slowly sliding it off the edge, taking it into your own, he looked at you desperately, “Just let go, Luci,” you said with a soft voice and a lifeless smile, as you slowly slid his hand off your own, loosening your grip, “Just let me go, Lucifer.” you begged, the tears falling from your eyes and onto his face made him cry as well, “Please.” You say as you let go of him, he only stared at you as he hugged Lilith, protecting her from the long fall he was going to have to endure, despite falling, his hand reached out to you still, his Luna, disappearing before his very eyes…

that’s when he realized…

he will never get the chance to give you a proper goodbye, a proper explanation… a proper confession.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

(sorry if anything is confusing, my brain likes to confuzzle itself so ask me any questions!!!3$3$)

TAGLIST WWEOOEOO:

@ag-cookiebat800 @meow-meowo @kyo-kyo1

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I’ve seen a few metas now that describe Crowley as self-loathing and…that’s not quite it to me.

Crowley for sure has Issues. He has a lot of anger and doesn’t always deal with it in constructive ways. He is hypervigilant as all fuck, and the fact that he is almost always correct about the amount of danger he and Aziraphale are in at a given moment just reinforces that hypervigilance feedback loop.

He has the hair-trigger flight response of someone who has spent millennia dodging oppressive forces that are more powerful than him, and this makes him default to RUN even when on some level he knows that is not the right response to a situation. He’s very aware that there are a lot of people out there who can hurt him, and there is no one coming to protect him. The only option is to try to avoid the blow.

And he is absolutely terrified of rejection, for very understandable reasons. This also encourages him to have one foot out the door of a situation, to pretend he doesn’t care, because if you leave first and actually never cared at all then you can’t be hurt. He is painfully aware that good things can be taken away from him without warning, that love that looks absolute can turn out to be conditional, because that already happened to him.

But. As much as I love a self-loathing blorbo, I don’t think Crowley hates himself.

Sure he talks a good game about how he’s not nice. But I don’t think, for example, that he thinks he is unworthy of Aziraphale’s love, that he is not good enough for Aziraphale because he is a demon or for any other reason. Because as far as Crowley is concerned, angels and demons are the same! All that good and evil stuff is just names for sides. I think he is afraid, because he’s still not sure, after all this time, if Aziraphale feels the same way he does, and broaching that topic is an enormous risk compared to just staying in the ambiguously-defined status quo they have now. (And then he works up the courage to do it anyway, and seems to have his worst fears confirmed.)

FWIW, I don’t think Aziraphale thinks that Crowley is not good enough for him either. Not at all. But I think Crowley might think that Aziraphale thinks that after the end of s2. And that really stings, because as much as they both gave lip service to the idea of “I’m good, you’re evil,” I think Crowley always assumed that Aziraphale saw through that when it came to him as a person, that it was just something Azirphale said and not something he really believed about Crowley, and now he’s not so sure.

I also think Crowley believes he did not deserve his fall (hot take: none of them did) not because he is extra-special Good, but because that’s a fucked-up thing for someone who said they loved you to do. While he is clearly still dealing with the trauma of it, I think he knows by now: I shouldn’t have been hurt like that. I didn’t deserve it, and it wasn’t my fault.

And so the horror of Aziraphale accepting the offer of going back to Heaven is partially I thought we both understood how this system works; I thought we were on our own side together and partially I can’t believe you’re going back to the people who hurt you and at least a little bit I can’t believe you’re going back to the people who hurt me. Do you think they were right?

(And Aziraphale doesn’t! He doesn’t think that! He thinks they were wrong, but he thinks they were wrong about Crowley, that it was an individual mistake and not a feature of a system that squashes questioning and nonconformity of any kind.)

I wrote a whole meta about “I won’t be forgiven, not ever” and “unforgivable, that’s what I am” in 2019 that I won’t rehash here, but tl;dr, I don’t think Crowley is saying that as a statement of his self-worth. I think he is saying, Heaven would never let me back in, and if they did, I wouldn’t go. Because I don’t want or trust the “acceptance” of people who don’t value me as I am.

And it’s part of the cruel dramatic irony of the Final Fifteen that one of the things that breaks them apart is that Crowley values himself enough not to go back to Heaven. Crowley, who we’ve seen will do almost anything for Aziraphale, says, No. I am not putting myself back in that abusive situation. You shouldn’t either; I really wish you wouldn’t; but if you do, I am still not going back there. Not even for you.

[stinkyme]

Hello! This is something I came up with since it's Valentine's Day so I thought why not write mini scenarios with BSD characters :)

It's basically what you got them and what they got you as a gift, I apologize if some are repetitive or similar, it was hard to think of completely unique gifts and reactions for everyone, but I tried my best! :)

I hope you will like it and enjoy! :D

CW/TW: none, fluff, maybe in Chuuya's part, him riding motorcycle if that's triggering for someone and a suggestive joke, in Gin's part there is a knife as a gift (i know how weird this sounds but bear with me), petnames and GN!reader, some characters might be OOC and if I forgot please anything let me know! :)

PS. I headcanon Tanizaki as a huge gamer; Tachihara as a kinder surprise egg lover and Sigma as a person who can draw really good, so bear with me🤗

*солнце моё - my sun; i thank deeply to my dear friend who helped me to think of a nickname and make it correct, you slay ily <3

Also I can do Fukuzawa, Lucy, Louisa, Fukuchi and Mori or other characters in second part if anyone wants them as well :D

I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

Happy Valentine's day everyone, remember to do something nice for yourself <3

Valentine's gifts || BSD characters x Reader

Decay of Angels

Nikolai Gogol

You were really excited about Nikolai and you spending Valentine's day together. You got everything ready, put on cute outfit and previously you bought him this beautiful, big painting of white birds flying in wide, blue sky and behind you wrote "As free as they are, they are still not alone. They still need shared nest and ground to rest. Thank you for being my nest and my ground." and you made him some piroshki that you've put on the table with few white candles around. You turned the picture towards the wall so he can't see it.

He finally came and you jumped on him into a huge hug.

"My, my someone missed me!" Nikolai said through sweet laughter.

"I have! Did you miss me?" you said happily, resting your head between his shoulder and neck.

"Of course darling!" he moved to give you a small kiss on your lips. You smiled and he put out a rose out of his coat, you smiled even more and rose suddenly sprayed water on your face. Nikolai's smile faded away in an instant.

"Oh no! That's a wrong one! Uh..uh..HOLD ON A SECOND!" he was nervous and he turned around as you giggled at his unusual clumsiness. He turned around after digging inside his coat and gave you a beautiful, fresh rose in your favorite color.

"It's beautiful! Thank you, love!" you smiled as you took rose out of his hand, kissing him on the cheek.

You turned around to put it in a vase.

"I don't think you want to put it there darling." Nikolai said softly and you turned around, slightly confused when you saw a huge wreath with probably 100 roses in a huge heart shape, missing only one in neatly done rows.

You gasped, it was absolutely huge and beautiful.

"Nikolai! This is...thank you so much!" you walked towards him, putting one last rose inside to complete the heart.

You gave him a strong hug, full of love and plenty of kisses on his cheeks.

He hugged you back and giggled at your reaction. You moved and looked at beautiful wreath one more time and put it down.

You took his hand to pull him over to piroshki and his eyes got wide in surprise and excitement.

"Oh! All of those for me?" he proclaimed, his voice filled with love and excitement and he took one of piroshki, immediately taking a bite and letting a huge satisfied sigh out, smile plastered all over his face.

"That's not all." you said and turned around the painting and Nikolai's eyes got wide once again, but this time more in deeply emotional manner. He started chewing slower and put down rest of his piroshki and came up to you to take a better look at the painting. He gently touched it as if he could break it.

"You have a message behind!" you giggled at him and he turned it around, taking it out of your hands to read. Once he read the message, you could swear he teared up. He got up, softly smiling at you, with little tears in corners of his eyes.

"You are right, they need nest and ground. However may I be a bird, you are my sky." he closed his eyes and pulled you into a huge hug that lasted for a very good time and kissed top of your head.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fyodor was never really fond of any type of holidays or special days in traditional way, until he met you. He waited for your return, put on some candles and bought you a silver necklace that had black agate stone placed on silver lineup and on that lineup it was carved "Cолнце моё".

You came home and went to hug him immediately, enjoying the atmosphere he made. He kissed you on the cheek and stroked your hair gently.

"Welcome home, darling. I have little something for you." he said softly and went to take a little, long, black leathered box to give you your gift. You opened it and saw this beautiful necklace and turned it around to see the carved, loving nickname. Your eyes widened and you feel warm.

"It's beautiful. I love it." you said in soft tone, Fyodor gently smiling at you.

"Let me put it on for you." he said and you gave him the necklace as he gently moved his fingers around your neck and put it on. You adjusted it a bit in the front, touching the black stone.

"This will go amazing with my outfit and our plans for tonight." you giggled and turned around to kiss Fyodor.

"What do you mean?" he asked a bit confused and you handed him tickets for a concert of classical music. He curiously took tickets and saw what were they for and smiled softly at you. He has been mentioning a lot how he is overworked and needed something just to let his mind relax.

"We better get ready then, love." he said and softly kissed you and both of you went to get ready, enjoying rest of your night in romantic, relaxed and loving atmosphere of the concert.

Sigma

Sigma was really nervous about this, he didn't know whole bunch of things about holidays and in general, he was new to everything but your love helped him discover and explore more of himself and the world. He wanted to make this day special and he was hoping he won't mess it up and that you will like his gift. He finally met up with you, you were holding some sort of bag, he hugged you softly, but you could feel he was nervous.

"Happy Valentine's day sweetheart..um, this is for you." he handed you what seemed like a notebook. It wasn't too thick or to thin and as you opened it you started tearing up. Notebook was filled with drawings of you, doing random things, probably when you would be with him in office and he would tell you he is doing 'paperwork' and you did something else to entertain yourself. You could also tell some were drawn from his memory only. Sigma was looking at you nervously as you flipped pages, eyes wider and wider each time.

"It's something I wanted to keep for myself, but..since it's a holiday, I thought you would like to have it." he said a bit hesitant since you weren't saying anything. You looked up at him with a huge smile on your face and closed the notebook to give him a huge hug. He was a bit shocked, but hugged you back.

"So, you like it?" he asked, soft smile on his face.

"I love it! I love you!" you said happily, hugging him thighter. Then you moved and out of bag pulled out a Sky Casino model with a note attached to the platform model was on. Sigma's eyes got wide as he took model in his hands, almost tearing up from beauty and shock. He noticed the note and took it as you took model inside your hands so he can read it.

"I know I often tell you how amazing you are, but I want you to always remember something. Sky Casino isn't what made you into a person you are, you are the person who made Sky Casino into what it is with your kind soul. I want you to always remember that when you look at this model. Happy Valentine's day, my beloved."

He read it and teared up at this point, putting the note on his heart. He gently smiled at you and put model down on the floor next to two of you so he could pull you into a hug.

"I can't bring myself to say anything else but that I love you too, Y/N."

Mushitaro Oguri

You were waiting for his return rather impatiently. You were slightly nervous about your gift, not knowning how will he react, but still, you hoped for the best. He finally arrived home carrying what seemed like his present for you and you went right into his body to hug him tightly.

"Happy Valentine's day, love." he said as he smiled at you and kissed your nose.

"Happy Valentine's day, Mushi. I missed you." you said as you hugged him for a bit longer and placed a kiss on his lips.

"I missed you too, darling." he smiled at you and gave you the bag. You were excited to see what he got you and quickly went to the living room and sat on the couch, unpacking it. You saw two small brown teddy bears, each had a bow tie, one just like Mushitaro's and other one was in your favorite one. They were holding hands and they were really fluffy. You pressed them on your chest as Mushitaro already came to see your reaction. You jumped into a hug with him and gently kissed his cheek.

"Do you like them? They are miniature of us." he smiled and you nodded.

"I love them. They are adorable! Thank you, Mushi." your eyes were bright and you kissed him on the lips. Then, you put little teddy bears down and went over for your gift. He could tell you were nervous as you handed him the wrapped box. Once he opened it he saw a game that basically was made as a crime mystery supposed to be solved.

"I know you dislike mystery, but I thought if..maybe we did it together, it will be more fun like that." you smiled shyly, not looking directly at him. This reminded him of his old friend which made him smile, but not only that. What also made him smile is that you knew the reason he disliked it and wanted to rewrite that into a good memory, something that he can actually enjoy and therefore heal. It was thoughtful, fun and really meaningful as silly as you thought your gift was.

"I love it. Let's solve it together." Mushitaro whispered as he pulled you into a hug.

"Really?" you whispered back.

"Really. It doesn't what do I do as long as it's with you, you make everything good. Thank you for that, Y/N." he smiled softly and placed a gentle kiss on your neck.

Port Mafia

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

You and Akutagawa weren't together, however after long thinking you finally decided to gift him something for Valentine's day. Obviously you were nervous, even though Akutagawa wasn't always unpleasant towards you, often times he was actually calm and well mannered, but still it was a huge thing. You made him a woven basket full of figs, his favorite teas he talked about to you and small antique painting. You were ready to go, giving yourself mental pat on the back and headed out. Little did you know.

Some time later you found Akutagawa taking his leave from Port mafia building, thankfully alone.

You nervously came up to him.

"Hello, are you busy?" you asked him, your tone low and almost cracking.

"Obviously not." Akutagawa responded in his usual tone.

"Ah right! Silly of me, um, okay, here you go." you handed out the basket, tilting your head down not to look at him.

He scanned it with his eyes and slowly took it out of your hands.

"What is this?" he asked, in his usual deep voice.

"A little something for Valentine's day. If you don't feel the same or dislike it or anything, feel free to do whatever you want with it." you barely smiled at him, your nerves taking best out of you.

"I shall leave now, see you tomorrow..or never again." you chuckled and almost started running away. Akutagawa took a look inside and smiled gently at his gift, as well as your reaction.

You came in your building, shaking and scolding yourself. However, once you reached the door you saw a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a small card on top. You were really curious about it, making you forget how nervous you were. You took a look at the card.

"I am not good with words, but I appreciate you. Hopefully, you understand. - Akutagawa"

You smiled at the note, he probably sneaked it in when you left because he was too prideful to ask anyone to do it for him and way too nervous to do it in person. You were still smiling and sent him a message making a deal for two of you to meet up and pick up where you left off.

Chuuya Nakahara

He took you on a evening ride on his motorcycle. He wasn't driving too fast, letting you enjoy the view of night lights as you held tightly around his waist.

"Where are we going?" you asked him excited and curious.

"Just a bit more patience, angel. We are almost there." he said and took a turn as you arrived to some sort of empty parking lot. You both got off the motorcycle and removed your helmets.

"What are we doing here? You are so perverted Chuu." you started giggling.

"The one who is perverted here are you, angel. I didn't have that in mind." he chuckled and took your hand as you walked towards garage doors.

"What is this, Chuu?" you asked him, not entirely sure what was he doing.

He opened the garage door and what you saw was a beautiful motorcycle that matches his. You gasped as your eyes widened.

"My gift for you, so we can do it together." Chuuya said and smiled at your reaction.

"This is insane Chuu, it's too much." you said still shocked. Indeed, Chuuya was extra but he loved you and wanted to show it as much as he humanly can.

You came up to him to hug him and kiss him and he returned it, smiling afterwards. You went to inspect the motorcycle, suddenly getting a thought.

"Um, Chuuya." you said as you were to reveal something obvious.

"What's up angel?" he asked as he came to inspect motorcycle with you.

"I don't have a licence and I don't know how to ride it." you said and looked at him with seriousness in your eyes. Chuuya stood there for a second as he was processing the information.

"Oh." he let out as he looked up at you.

"Shit. I completely forgot you need a licence for those." he said in a bit irritated voice.

"Excuse me? WERE YOU RIDING WITHOUT LICENCE NAKAHARA CHUUYA?" you yelled at him, shocked at his nonchalant attitude about that information.

"Being in Port Mafia has its benefits, you know? Not like cops will stop me. But that also means I can get you one as well." he smiled and stroked your hair.

"But I can't ride it." you said, looking up at him.

"I will teach you then. Easy as that." he smiled once more but noticed you were nervous and looking around shyly.

"What's wrong angel? You don't like it?" he asked concerned as he kept stroking your hair.

"No, no, it's not that. I love it, but..." you stopped your sentence to pull out a small hat chain you made for Chuuya that had an extenstion of mini hat, bottle and glass attached to it. You handed it to him. He looked at it and could feel himself melting inside.

"My gift is so small compared to yours and I made dinner and bought your favorite wine and made a bath for two us, but then you said this is urgent so I couldn't really pressure it.." you were saying looking down. Chuuya just moved your chin up and gave you a long, meaningful kiss. You blushed a little bit.

"It's absolutely amazing gift and I will wear it all the time. I love it and don't ever say anything you give me or do for me is small or less meaningful, angel." he smiled as he put your gift in his pocket.

"Let's head home and enjoy everything you prepared, then tomorrow we can start your lessons, sounds good?" he smiled and cupped your cheek with his hand. You nodded and hugged him thightly as he returned the hug, happier than he ever was.

Gin Akutagawa

Gin and you were fairly similar, but at the same time different, therefore complimenting each other perfectly. You worked under Black Lizard alongside with her. Two of you agreed to meet up after work to spend Valentine's day or rather evening together. Gin was waiting for you in place you both agreed on and you saw her in casual outfit which made you giggle because she was so beautiful.

You walked up to her and you gave her a kiss as she blushed a bit, more nervous than usual.

"You seem nervous babe, what's up?" you asked her, gently brushing her cheek with your fingers. She looked away and just pulled the box out of her bag and handed it out. You were curious and found her reaction really adorable. You took box out of her hands and opened it only to see one gorgeous knife in metallic red color with black handle that had your initials engraved.

You took it out, moving it a bit as light fell on it, making the color shine more. It was absolutely gorgeous.

"This is beautiful Gin, thank you so much!" you said in happy and excited voice and she opened her mouth lightly to say something when you pulled her into a hug. She hugged you back, resting her hands on your back and smiled.

"I have the same one. So we can match, you know?" she said as she was relieved you liked her gift.

"We really do think alike, don't we?" you smiled as you pulled away giving her your gift wrapped in baby pink paper.

You made her a new mask, it was in black color and on the inside you sewed small "I love you".

"That's so anytime you take it off you see it and so it can remind you of me." you smiled at her. Her eyes were full of love and she grabbed mask thighter, putting it on her chest.

"I love it. Thank you so much, I love you." she said gently and stroked your hair.

"I love you too darling and I have the same one, so another thing to match!" both of you giggled and hugged once again as you noticed people were staring at two of you, a bit scared and creeped out.

"Maybe you should put the knife back into the box, babe." Gin said through a laughter.

"Shit baby, you are right." you laughed and put knife back into the box, taking Gin's hand so two of you can go and enjoy rest of evening together.

Higuchi Ichiyō

You were having a lovely evening with Higuchi, eating amazing dinner two of you prepared together and chatted about everything and anything. Higuchi was always so lively, especially with you. You also brought her comfort no one else truly did and knew how to calm her down when she would go overboard with work and feel intense or pressured.

Gifts were common between two of you, little ways to show how you care and think of each other. Lately, you were both very busy so you didn't get much time to relax and spend time together, so this was a breath of fresh air for both of you.

"Okay, now for gifts!" Higuchi said as she was waiting for both of you to finish your dinner. You looked at her and she pushed a bag into your hands, sitting on her chair excited. You opened it and saw all sorts of candles - bigger, smaller, red, blue, yellow and few other colors, you also saw a bottle of some oil and love note. You unfolded the paper.

"I am forever thankful I've met you. You make my days brighter in ways only I can know which makes me feel really proud and special. You make feel calmness I never knew was possible to feel.

So, today I wanted to, hopefully, make you feel special and calm. I love you."

Your heart was melting and you got up from your chair and pulled Higuchi into a thight hug. She returned it, smiling into your neck.

"You always make feel special and calm, sunshine. Just existing next to you is more than enough for someone like me to feel like that." you whispered in her ear and pulled away in order to kiss her. You pulled away and slowly stroked her hair and she smiled at you, leaning in to kiss you one more time. It made you giggle and you gave her your gift. It was a small plastic sunshine frame that had picture of two of you inside. Higuchi's eyes widened and her cheeks got slightly red.

"Open it." you gestured to the back of the frame and she opened it to see a little note of you saying how she is your sunshine and how she should never forget that. She jumped on you which got you startled a bit and gave you a long, passionate kiss.

"Thank you, I will cherish this forever. Not only the photo, but you seeing me as your sunshine. I love you more than you know." she said after she pulled away and grabbed your hand to go to another room. She placed the photo on the nightstand next to the bed and gestured you to sit down. You listened, looking at her curiously.

"Give me a second, sweetheart." Higuchi said and went to grab an essential oil she got you which you learned when she came back.

"It's a lavender essential oil and I wanted to give you a massage so my little note comes to life." she smiled gently at you and you smiled back.

"Deal, but I will do same for you after." you said in soft voice and she nodded, smiling at you.

Oda Sakunosuke

This was a plan you had for some time now, but what a better chance to use than Valentine's day? You decided before Oda comes home that you will rearrange one room two of you barely used. It was supposed to be medium sized storage, but neither of you storaged anything really. So you went to work and rearranged it into Oda's new writing room. You put table and chair, made of beautiful oak and assembled few shelves on wall, as well as added some flowers and paintings to make it more comfortable and cozy. You added pens, papers, anything Oda would need for writing. You were really proud of your work. You wanted to surprise him.

Oda came home and called out for you, but didn't hear anything. He took his shoes off and called your name again with no answer. He went around the house, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom to look for you but he was met with disappointment each time.

"Over here!" you said in a bit higher voice and he could hear your giggles as he relaxed knowning you are safe and walked towards storage.

"What are you.."

"Surprise! It's a writing room for you. Happy Valentine's day darling!" you said as you jumped and stretched your arms out. Oda looked around, his face remained the same but deep inside he was shocked, touched and melted. He moved around, looking at all details you made and finally table ready with materials. He came up to you and lifted you up into a hug.

"You didn't have to do all this, you know?" he said as his hand was stroking back of your head as he was putting you down.

"You are right, but I wanted to! Do you like it?" you smiled at him.

"I absolutely adore it my love." he placed a kiss on your forehead.

"It happens I have little something for you as well." he said and took out a small box out of his pocket, handing it to you. You opened it and it was a golden ring and on the inside it had carved "My one & only."

You smiled, immediately putting it on one of your fingers. You looked up at Oda who was smiling back at you.

"I love it, thank you so much!" you exclaimed happily and jumped on him, your arms wrapping around his neck.

"You deserve everything, love, don't thank me at all." he whispered and kissed your cheek.

Ango Sakaguchi

You waited for Ango's return, he was as busy as always, overworking himself. Thankfully, he was able to get an evening off so you can spend it together. You prepared everything - dinner, ambience and a movie you will watch. You got him a neck pillow and a massager he can use on himself since you knew how much his back suffered all that work. He came home, drained and tired, but he was really happy to spend an evening with you. He took his shoes off and came up to you with a huge basket which caught your attention. It was covered with white net so you couldn't see what it was. You came up to him and gave him a big hug as he sighed out.

"It's good to be home for a change." he smiled as you looked up to him and then he leaned down to give you a kiss.

"This is for you, I hope you will like it." he pulled away and handed you the basket. You opened it up and it had literally everything related to self-care: oils, shower gel, shampoo, facemasks, body scrub, face roller, gua sha stones. It was beautiful. You smiled and put the basket down to hug him, your hands snaking around his waist.

"It's a reminder to take care of yourself. That's really important thing, you know Y/N?" he was stroking your hair and you looked up at him and his dark circles.

"That's a valuable lesson...coming from you!" you laughed at him and he softly smiled back at irony of his own words and actions.

"However! Good thing is that I had similar idea in mind when it comes to you." you gave him a wide smile and went over to give him his gift. It was in a bag so he opened it and saw neck pillow and massager suitable for self massage. He chuckled, looking softly at you.

"You know what? This is a looooot of products. I don't think I will be able to use them all on my own, so how about we share a self-care night?" you said looking up at him, earning a satisfied and relieved laugh from him.

"I can't see why not. I would love that, thank you, you are truly amazing, love." he said and you smiled back at him, two of you spending the relaxing, romantic night taking care of yourselves and each other.

Kouyou Ozaki

It was your first Valentine's day with Kouyou and two of you weren't together, however you did love her for quite some time now. Kouyou was very open about how she feels about Valentine's day and love in general. She was very hesitant and in a sense appalled by the idea of that holiday due to her experience with love. She was very vocal about how stupid she thinks it is and how people are just fools and if you "love" someone you love them every day making conclusion how people are shallow and dishonest with their feelings. You listened to her words and it made you nervous and prepared for a heartbreak, but you were ready to be heartbroken if that means she will know what you feel.

You made her a paper rose and as you would drag down the stalk of it - it would open up like it was blossoming and close back when you move it back up. You tied a little note on it and went to leave it at Kouyou's door in Port mafia. You arrived and knocked on her door, leaving the rose in front of them and went to hide, scared to see her face. She opened the door and looked down. She saw a paper rose and picked it up, noticing the note. Her face had confused expression the whole time until she read the note.

"I hope some day, just like this rose you will be able to open up and accept my love. If not mine, then someone else's, as long as you are happy. - Y/N"

She moved the rose and her eyes started watering as she was scared of all emotions that were coming out of her, thinking she burried them long time ago. She played with the rose, thinking, and you kept looking at her a bit confused. Was she happy, was she angry, was she moved by it? Did she feel the same or not?

"Come out, Y/N." Kouyou said as she closed her eyes, softly smiling. Your heart skipped a beat, but you couldn't trick Kouyou after all. You came to her, obviously nervous and on the edge. She turned her back and went into her room for a second and returned with something. She handed it to you and it was metal shaped and colored as her Golden Demon, attached to a chain. You took it, shocked and looked at her.

"I never thought I would be the one doing this. It's silly to be completely honest with you Y/N. I talked about this holiday so poorly, yet made that for you, hoping it will protect you from the distance." she looked at you.

"However, now I hope you will accept it and wear it as a confession of my feelings as well as to keep you safe and protected from any harm. Thank you for this rose and thank you for..awakening the hope and feelings inside me I thought were long lost." she stepped forward and pulled you into a kiss.

Armed Detective Agency

Dazai Osamu

You were dragging his hand, really excited.

"We can't miss this Osamu, walk faster!" you ordered him, earning a confused look and laughter from Dazai.

"Ah, ah, where are we rushing darling?" he said as his usual, teasing self.

"Not telling! Be patient, but hurry your ass up." you pulled him harder as you arrived to your destination. Dazai looked around, there were plenty of couples but you went to more isolated area.

"Now we wait." you proclaimed, holding his hand.

"For what exactly if I may ask?" Dazai looked at you confused as you stared into the sky.

"You may not! Shush it or you will miss it." you said squeezing his hand and he looked into direction you were looking at.

"Here comes yours!" you giggled, squeezing his hand harder.

Suddenly, with a loud sound, a firework appeared in shape of a heart and "I love you" in the middle, it was in bright pink color. Dazai stared at awe, this was one of the few times when he didn't know what to say. You looked at his face, it was so gentle and so genuine. His eyes got brighter and he squeezed your hand. It was a sight you could look at forever. Firework passed and his mouth were slightly opened as he looked at you, speechless.

"I customized it! I hoped you will like it and..." you couldn't finish your sentence as he pulled you in into a hug, squeezing you tightly. You hugged him back and started laughing a bit at sudeness of his reaction.

"And...I was hoping..this maybe gives you new perspective.." you continuned, muffled voice as your head was squeezed into his chest.

"No need to say anything else. I know." he squeezed you even thighter. You wanted to say something but you truly enjoyed this and it melted your heart.

He pulled away and looked into your eyes.

"That firework is how I feel when I am with you." he said in serious voice.

"You are so cheesy, Osamu." you laughed at him and gently slapped his chest. He smiled at you.

"I mean it. It's like I was reborn anytime I am with you." he gently brushed your cheek with his slender fingers.

"Stop it, I don't like when you talk like this." you said jokingly and he laughed.

"Now then.." he pulled something out of his pocket and quickly positioned it on your chest. You looked down and it was same opal stone he has. You touched it and looked at Dazai.

"Now we match. Also, this way, you see, our hearts are always connected." he smiled at you and touched his stone. He moved down and kissed you softly.

Then he pulled you into another hug.

"Also...sounds fireworks made were almost as loud as your farts, did you customize sounds too?" he pulled away, making fake amazed face.

"Dazai Osamu!" you punched his stomach.

"Ouch, ouch! You said you don't like when I am romantic, you don't like this either, it's so hard to satisfy you belladona!" he whined in dramatic voice.

"Maybe you just need to shut up, ever thought about that?" you laughed and pulled him into a kiss.

Kunikida Doppo

You were really excited about this day and your gift. Kunikida has been frowning lately because his notebook is near the end and from all work he had, he wasn't able to order new one. So you did it for him and it arrived just in time. You also wrote little note on the first page.

Now, you were walking to meet up with him at a local park as he said he wants to take you somewhere. Kunikida, on the other hand, was slightly nervous. Last year he took you in fancy restaurant and for most of your bigger celebrations. He wanted to switch it up this time out of his comfort zone. He wanted to take you in a game room so two of you can have some fun together and go out for an ice cream afterwards.

He wasn't sure how you will react to this and kind of regretted he didn't go for safer idea, but it is what it is now. He saw you coming and adjusted himself.

You spreaded your arms, running into his hug. He picked you up, returning the hug and kissed top of your head, then gave you a kiss on the lips.

"You seem really jumpy, what's the reason?" he asked with a soft smile.

"And you, Kunikida Doppo, seem really nervous, what's the reason?" you asked him playfully. Of course you would notice. He cleared his throat as his eyes gave away slight shock as confirmation of your question and wanted to speak when you cut him off suddenly.

"Maybe this will help you!" you said happily and handed him a notebook that was wrapped in paper with some animals. He took it and slowly started unwrapping it only to see his long desired notebook he wasn't able to order. He threw away the paper in trashcan and took another look, still in awe.

"Open it! There is something inside." you giggled.

He gave you a questioning look and opened it to see a dedication written from you. You wrote how you look up to him, how he inspires you every day to be a better person and as silly as his ideals can be at the times, they are still his and therefore deeply admired by you. You ended it by telling him to never change that fire in his heart and how you love him. He pushed his glasses up, closing the notebook and gently looking at you.

"You know, when I was writing who may my ideal partner be, I only had you in mind. I remember how I wished someone would be able to make me more flexible as a person or rather inspire me to see bigger picture and explore more of myself. Then you showed up and for that I am forever thankful, Y/N." he came closer to hug you and give you a kiss. You blushed at his words, unsure what to say.

You just hugged him thightly and thanked him as you pulled him into another kiss.

"You know, mister Carlylye said to send you a lot of greetings. Also, where are we going? Which resturant?" you asked him as you pulled away.

"I will make sure to send him letter tomorrow or give him a phone call if he isn't too busy. And as for where we are going, I thought about game room...if that's okay." he smiled, nervously as he waited for your reaction.

"Game room? Where did that come from?" you looked at him, a bit stunned by his plan.

"Well, I wanted to try something different, I guess. If you don't like it.."

you cut him off.

"I LOVE IT!" you gave him a big smile, putting all his worries away. He laughed a bit and you spent rest of your evening playing different games, winning or losing, it didn't matter. You had a lot of fun and enjoyed each other's company.

Atsushi Nakajima

You and Atsushi agreed to stay at home for Valentine's Day and have some alone time. You were finishing up chazuke you made for him as a treat for Valentine's. You came back to him and his face lit up. He was really excited and Valentine's Day with you felt surreal. He always had hard time to accept love from others given his inner turmoil. You taught him how to be more forgiving to himself, how to accept love and how to have love for himself. He still had long way to go, but he was better and every day brought new things.

"Thank you, Y/N! I really appreciate this." he said with a smile as he took bowl out of your hand and placed it in front of him.

"You are not going to eat it?" you asked him, a bit confused as he always literally dived in like there is no tomorrow. He shaked his head and got up to take something from the closet and turned around facing you.

It was a beautiful flower crown, you could tell it was a handmade. He came towards you and placed it on top of your head and smiled.

"I made it with tiny bit of help of Kyouka-chan!" he kept smiling. It truly melted your heart, anything he ever gave you was self made.

"I tried my best, I hope you like it." he said, blush covering his pale face.

"It's beautiful, you are so amazing! Thank you so much my love." you said and hugged him as he blushed, returning the hug.

"I have little something too!" you giggled and went to the other room to grab it. You came back and handed him a tiger plushie. He took it, inspecting fluffy tiger with his hands. He saw it had a small, loose collar that said "Mini Sushi".

"Mini..Sushi?" he looked at you.

"Like Mini Atsushi, but Sushi. Nickname." you smiled at him. His eyes got a bit wider and he smiled, hugging the plushie.

"Thank you, Y/N. You mean a lot to me and so does Sushi!" he smiled, genuine and warm.

"Remember anytime you are kind to him, you are also kind to yourself, Sushi." you said and went to hug him. He hugged you back as mini Sushi got squeezed between and Atsushi's eyes were soft, peaceful and loving as he understood meaning.

Ranpo Edogawa

Ranpo and you have been dating for a while now and this was your first Valentine's Day together. You knew what you will get him as soon as you started thinking of it. It was hard to surprise him and you knew that, but you hoped he will like your gift regardless. You got him a toy that looked like a machine, it was a bowl on top and on the plastic what was holding a bowl was actually few different games a person could play. Bowl had plenty of different candies inside and all you had to do is beat level in order to get it, it also had a refill which was perfect for Ranpo. You really hoped he will like it. On the other side, Ranpo understood concept of Valentine's Day, however he didn't get the point. Yosano scolded him that it's not a huge deal and gifting you something won't hurt. Ranpo did want to gift you something, that wasn't an issue, he just didn't know what. He was thinking and pouting and knew he was running out of time so he thought the best he could and got you a hat to match his. It's sweet and it also says how he loves your company when he solves crimes and mysteries.

You finally met up with each other, you came to the office as everyone else went to café and saw Ranpo there. He seemed a bit down, but you hoped your gift will cheer him up. You came to him and he got up, his face still unsatisfied. You looked at him and he just bumped his head into your chest.

"Ranpo? What's wrong?" you asked him, concerned.

"This is stupid." he said, his voice a bit sad.

"What is stupid?" you asked him, he still didn't look at you.

"This holiday. Yosano scolded me as if I didn't want to get you a gift which isn't true!" he said in annoyed voice and moved his head up facing you.

"Ranpo...you don't have to gift me anything. It's just a little holiday, if you just wished me happy Valentine's day, I will still be thankful." you were genuine.

"That's not the point." he scoffed.

"The point is, how do I tell you that I appreciate you and care for your company as well as that I enjoy when you go to solve cases with me and that you make me feel like I am not alone anymore and that I love you through a gift? And don't tell me to write a letter because I hate to do that." he looked at you. You looked at him surprised and started laughing.

"Oh my, well, just like that actually. You can tell me just like that." you smiled at him and he moved to get something out of his drawer and handed you the hat, same as his.

"Well, this hat is supposed to say it. You know, like we can match and...stuff." he looked away as you took hat out of his hand and put it on your head. He was still looking away, eyes closed when he suddenly felt a thight hug. He got surprised for a second, analysing your reaction but hugged you back.

"It's saying everything I need to know, don't worry. You also said all I needed to know." you said in soft voice.

"Really?" Ranpo asked as he wasn't really sure.

"I promise." you smiled at him, the smile he loved the most. You kissed his cheek and handed him your gift. He took it and inspected it for a while and then the biggest smile lit up his face.

"Thank you, Y/N. I really appreciate it. Now I can have more fun at work." he giggled and you laughed at him. He looked at you and put down the toy on his table and hugged you tightly.

"You look really cute with that hat, you know?" he whispered earning your smile.

"Happy Valentine's day, love." you said in soft voice.

"Happy Valentine's day, Y/N." he pulled away and you kissed, enjoying this lovely moment. Then Ranpo looked at the toy, bringing his hand closer and you noticed he just took one candy out.

"Hey! That's cheating!" you yelled at him and two of you continued this day laughing and enjoying.

Tanizaki Junchiro

Tanizaki and you made a deal to spend a day inside, nothing too fancy. You both liked comfort and cozy feeling of your own home and spending time together away from the crowds and loud city.

You arrived home with one small bag and Tanizaki came to you to greet you with a kiss.

"What took you so long? I missed you." Tanizaki said and pulled you into a hug.

"Sorry, sorry, I was picking out your gifts." you said and handed him the bag.

"Happy Valentine's day Chiro." you hugged him as he pulled out multiple games you bought, his face was shocked as those were really expensive and he gave you a look that was asking you "are you for real?" unable to say anything else.

"I save up, you know?" you elbowed him.

"Also, I thought we could play them together." you smiled at him and Tanizaki picked you up and turned to move you in the room. He placed you on the couch and started hugging and tickling you. You were laughing, trying to push him away.

"Stop, stop, why are you tickling me?" you were saying through laughter. Tanizaki got up and stopped tickling you.

"I am so happy! Thank you, those are so cool and we will have so much fun. Hold on!" he placed quick kiss on your head and came back in new pyjama and quickly sat next to you, giving you a small, blue bag. You gave him a questioning look, his face was light and his eyes sparkled, so you looked inside and saw another pyjama, matching his. Both were white and had little koalas hugging. You smiled and kissed Tanizaki.

"I will put it on right away." you said and went to change. Meanwhile, Tanizaki has set up one of the games, excited for your return. You came back and showed off how you look in new piece he got you.

"You look lovely, you are so cute Y/N!" he proclaimed as he stood up to come and hug you. He twirled you around and moved you to the set up where both of you sat down, ready to play.

"This is best Valentine's day I could ask for, thank you." he said and kissed you.

"Same goes for me, Chiro." you smiled at him and two of you spent rest of the day cozy, playing games and having fun.

Yosano Akiko

Yosano and you agreed to meet at your place and spend Valentine's day together. You prepared everything to be as romantic as possible. Yosano and you were together for some time and you wanted to make this day as special as possible. She was always kind and gentle with you even though you knew how she can get which made you melt and fall in love with her. You saw her as a woman who stood up for herself, yet treated her loved ones with the most care. Yosano could say same for you, you were the kindest, most precious person she has ever met and you loving her was an honor. That's how she felt and she wanted to make this day special for you as well.

She arrived with a small bag and you came to greet her, melting into her hug. She smiled softly and stroked your hair as you pulled away to look at her and give her a kiss.

"Someone is excited." she said lightheartedly and cupped your cheek with her soft hand.

"I am. I was so excited to see you today." you smiled at her and took her hand to move her and sit down together on the couch.

"Is that so?" she looked at you, saying teasingly.

"Yes." you looked at her full of love which made her melt at how genuine you were.

"I was excited to see you as well, my sweet Y/N." she kissed you and pulled away, gently placing a bag on your lap.

You looked at her and she nodded. You opened the bag and saw a notebook of some sort with covers in your favorite color. You opened the notebook and saw dry flowers glued on each page and next to each flower, there was a name of it as well as description of it.

"I picked all flowers that remind me of you." Yosano said as she looked at your lovestruck expression.

"This is beautiful. I truly don't know what to say, thank you so much, baby." you said as you looked up, Yosano's gentle gaze meeting yours.

"I am glad to hear that, Y/N." she smiled as you put aside the notebook, reaching under the table for a box. You handed it to her, a bit nervous. She smiled in order to calm you down and opened the box to see crystal figure in a shape of butterfly that was on lineup that said "You are an angel, my angel of everything that is good and kind."

She started tearing up, softly brushing her fingers on the sentence you designed. You waited for her to say something and she just put the figure on the table, not taking her eyes off of it and immediately pulling you into a hug.

You could feel your shoulder getting slightly wet and you hugged her thighter.

"Thank you. I love you." Yosano said through a whisper.

"I love you too." you smiled and stroked back of her head.

The Guild

Edgar Allan Poe

Two of you weren't a couple, however you were really good friends who crushed on each other. You wanted to hand your gift personally, hoping he feels the same way. You got ready and went out to head to his place in order to give him your gift. You were nervous and doubtful but if not now, then when? You just hoped you won't make this awkward between two of you or lose your friendship. It was a lot to ask for, you were aware, but still, Poe was reasonable so hopefully even if he doesn't feel the same he won't push you away. You also brought some treats for Karl.

As you walked, you felt someone watching or even following you and you turned around, but didn't see anyone who sticks out in crowd. You thought you were being paranoid and just kept walking. You arrived at more isolated area and you suddenly saw Karl jump in front of you. You backed away, startled at his sudden appearance.

"Did you smell the treats, little one?" you kneeled down to give him his treats and saw he was carrying something. It was a book and he dropped it in front of you as you handed him the treats. You opened the book as Karl munched satisfied next to you.

"I hope this doesn't ruin what we have. I have been in love with you for a very long time, Y/N. Therefore, I decided to write this for you. It contains all my feelings, like a personal diary, dedicated to you. If you don't feel the same - I completely understand. Feel free to throw it away or burn it, whatever you feel like doing, I just ask for this not to be the end of our friendship that I deeply cherish and hold dear in my heart. - E. A. Poe"

Your heart was beating so fast as you turned pages to read its and bits of what he has wrote. It was full of admiration of your personality, your beauty and time you spent together. You were shaking from how happy and excited you were. It felt surreal. You could scream right there but then Karl gently tapped your hand.

"To follow you?" you asked him and he started going in a direction behind you. You followed him and finally you saw Poe hidden behind a tree. He was literally biting his nails from anxiety and as he saw you, he got even more nervous, but was frozen in one place.

You came up to him, your face was red from excitement and your feelings for him and the fact he feels the same. You quickly gave him your gift which was small raccoon plushie that had a pocket. It had your love letter inside. Poe took it and unfolded it with clumsiness and started reading your confession. If his bangs weren't covering his eyes you would see how wide his eyes got, but shakiness of his hands told you all. Once he finished, he somehow got the strenght to look up at your face covered in impatience.

"Really?" he asked and you just came closer, pulling him into a kiss, he was shaken up at sudden movement but quickly adjusted and kissed you back.

And with this, you started your beautiful love story.

Hunting Dogs

Jouno Saigiku

Jouno and you agreed to spend Valentine's day as he was returning from a mission. You were really excited to see him and while he was away you thought about a gift that he will be able to use while away to think of you and one more practical gift that you picked out due to his complaining. He was always complaining how everyone were too loud, either they talked too out, breath too loud or, truth to be told, just exist too loud for his liking. He finally arrived and you didn't waste one second jumping into a hug and kissing him all over the face. He could sense your heart was about to explode from happiness which made him smile.

"Someone really missed me, huh?" he said in really low voice and hugged you thightly. You just nodded happily in his neck and he smiled.

"I missed you too." he slowly moved you away to give you a long, passionate kiss, not getting enough of you after being away so long. You pulled away and dragged him into a living room.

"Come faster, I want to give you my gifts." you giggled, Jouno smiled back at you, finding your excitement cute.

You quickly placed him on the couch and got two boxes. You gave him the first one.

"Okay, so this is more practical one, it's noise cancelling earbuds made specifically for you." you smiled as he took them out of box, his mouth slightly opened. He was inspecting them with his fingers.

"I tried all type of earbuds and trust me, none of them work, at least not with those bastards." he chuckled a bit and moved his head towards you.

"Just put them in Sai, don't be so skeptical." you told him and he listened, putting them in his ears and oddly enough, they seemed good.

You suddenly screamed and talked really loud how amazing it is and how you contacted his HQ to make them. He didn't hear you fully, he understood its and bits, he could still hear your heartbeat when he would really focus. You kept talking and he smiled, taking them out.

"I must give it to you, Y/N. They really do work." he said as he kept gentle smile on his face.

"I couldn't hear a word of your blabber." he teased you as you narrowed your eyebrows.

"Don't be mean now. I can also cut your ears off so you can't hear anything, you know?" you said in joking manner.

"I would love to see you try." he teased back and you smiled as you handed him second box.

"This one is more romantic, I think." you said, he could feel your muscles thighten a bit as you got nervous. He opened it and felt round, cold, thick but small piece of metal with a weirdish structure on top. He raised his eyebrow and pressed the structure and could feel 'I love you' beats being made in morse code. You were smiling nervously, not really sure how will he react. It was supposed to go in his pocket or anywhere truly, it was small but Jouno wouldn't be able to lose it given the fact it was Jouno. He pressed it once again and smiled.

"I think it's wonderful, Y/N." he smiled at you and you got even more flustered as he came closer to give you a gentle kiss.

Then, as he pulled away, he reached for his backpack, taking out a small box. He handed it to you and you opened it for your eyes to meet an earring, same as Jouno's and really pretty bracelet that had a little sword attached to it. You slowly took them out and put on an earring and bracelet as you looked at Jouno, who was smiling softly at you.

"Originally, I wanted to give you my earring, however the one you are wearing was handmade by some man I helped on the mission, I thought it would be nice to match. As for the bracelet, that little sword is a heartbeat measurment and it allows me to sense yours with this little thing.." he pulled out some sort of little machine.

"I wanted to be able to listen to your heartbeats before sleep, since they put me at ease and to track your mood during the day." he smiled at you.

You didn't say anything else, just quickly pulled him into a hug and he smiled, hugging you back thightly.

Tecchou Suehiro

Tecchou and you woke up next to each other, cuddling and whispering sweet nothings. You slowly got up and started your day, showering together and got dressed up, moving on to make some breakfast. You made pancakes with strawberry and nutella and also made your morning tea and coffee. It was overall nice, peaceful and romantic morning.

"You know, those pancakes would go great with ketchup and strawberry." Tecchou said, completely nonchalant.

"Excuse you?" you said as you laughed at him.

"I knew your taste was...special, to say at least but we won't make pancakes with ketchup and strawberries." you continued as Tecchou looked away, slightly disappointed. You laughed at him and got up to bring your gifts for him.

"Don't pout you grown baby. Maybe this will cheer you up." you said as you sat down, handing him your gift with a smile. He curiously took it and opened the bag and saw pair of gloves as well as some box in royal blue color. He took them out carefully, inspecting them.

"Gloves are for you since I noticed you hurt your hands a lot, so I thought to get you those to protect them." you smiled but Tecchou was silent, not looking at you. He opened the box, which made you nervous and he saw a lot of folded papers inside. He unfolded few papers and you were almost digging your fingernails into your skin because of his lack of reaction. On papers you wrote what you love, admire and appreciate about him and many other sweet, loving things. He folded papers back, gently placing them in the box and covering it with the lid. You were sweating at this point, he didn't look at you once. He closed his eyes and gentle, angelic smile covered his face as he stood up and came over to you and kneeled down, resting his head on your lap, his hands hugging your hips. You were a bit shocked.

"What did I do to deserve you, angel?" Tecchou said in soft, genuine voice. You were still slightly frozen, but his reaction made you smile and you placed your hand on top of his head to play with his hair.

"Just by being you, my love." you answered him in gentle tone and he suddenly looked up at you, his eyes big and full of love. He moved up to you and gave you a soft kiss on the lips. You smiled and then he kissed your forehead and stood up completely and went to bring you his gift.

He came back and gave you a bag that had teddy bear holding a heart on it. You smiled and he smiled back at you. You opened it and saw a little plushie of a dog that had Hunting Dog's uniform. You melted, but you couldn't ignore the smell of his cologne that was really strong. He noticed.

"Jouno said you will be able to smell it for next 10 years, so I think that's good." he said innocently not realizing the amount he sprayed. It still made your heart warm and you hugged the plushie thightly.

"Now you have someone to keep you company when I am away." he smiled and you got up plastering a soft kiss on his cheek and lips.

"Thank you my love, it's lovely." you said to him and you spent rest of your day enjoying each other's company.

Tachihara Michizō

You were waiting for Tachihara in the centre of the city so you can go home together. You were slightly annoyed because it was so crowded but then you finally saw him. He had a huge smile on his face and waving to get your attention. You waved back as he came up to you, picking you up and looking at your face with a huge smile.

"How is my favorite bastard doing?" he said lightheartedly and you laughed, gently slapping his arm. He put you down and pulled you in a loving kiss.

"Let's go. Do you want me to carry your backpack?" you asked genuinely.

"Hah! As if you can carry it, I will be fine." he chuckled and took your hand, two of you walking home and chatting about his missions and stuff happening in your lives while you were away. You already left your gift on the table, hoping he will be surprised. It was a huge chocolate cake that had 10 kinder eggs around.

As you finally arrived home, you quickly left him behind to wait next to the cake.

"Why are you rushing so..." Tachihara wanted to ask, but as soon as he saw the cake, his mouth opened wide. He was shocked and saw you standing next to it, proudly smiling. He took few steps forward as he looked at the cake, mouth and eyes wide open.

"You didn't!" he proclaimed excitedly as he quickly took one of the kinder eggs to inspect it.

"I did!" you smiled at him and he put the egg down and pulled you into a hug.

"You truly are a little bastard, is this why you were so excited?" he smiled and you nodded at him. He hugged you thightly and gave you a kiss on the lips making you giggle.

"Well then, I guess I can wait a bit before I open them." he smiled and went to his backpack, taking out big, red cotton bag. He gave it to you and it was really heavy. You looked at him, questioning expression in your eyes.

"You might want to open in on the couch." he said as he rubbed back of his head. You went to the couch, turning the bag around and you saw plenty of rocks and shiny crystals dropping out of it. There were all colors - from black, white, purple, brown, grey, mixed and all type of crystals - amethyst, rose quartz and others. You looked at awe and started inspecting them with your fingers.

"I took every rock and crystal that reminded me of you, I hope you like them." he said slightly nervous because he wasn't the best at expressing his emotions.

"I love them! You are such a sweetheart, you know?" you said and quickly jumped to hug him. You looked up at him and he smiled, kissing your forehead.

"I am glad to hear that baby, now can you help me open my kinder eggs, please?" he said and you could tell he was impatient and excited. You nodded, happy and enjoying the lovely moment with him. You spent rest of your day catching up, cuddling and opening kinder eggs that Tachihara was insanely worked up about. It was truly an amazing day.

Special mentions

Yokomizo

You went to drugstore to buy things for bath that you had in mind for Yokomizo. You just wanted him to relax and enjoy this day, taking a break from work and writing. You bought everything you need and as you entered your garden, you picked up roses because it would be a nice touch. You arrived home and greeted Yokomizo who seemed to be working so you didn't want to bother him and immediately went to the bathroom, preparing a bath. You put on candles, burned sticks in smell of lavander, filled the tub and put in gel that smelled like a fresh breeze carrying nature and its smells. It was full of bubbles and beautiful foam so you dropped rose petals on top, adding to the athmosphere. You turned off the lights and it truly looked enchating, healing and romantic. You also made sure to leave some snacks behind and a book so he can relax and enjoy.

You came to him, who seemed to be finishing his work.

"Honey, I made you a bubble bath." you said shyly, hoping he will like it. Yokomizo smiled and stood up, taking few steps towards you.

"Did you now?" he smiled and gently brushed your cheek with his thumb. You nodded and he looked at you lovingly, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you my love. Not to be bothersome, but could you please clean up my desk and then join me afterwards?" he said in apologetic tone, but still sounded confident for some reason. You nodded again, earning his smile and he stroked your cheek one more time as he went to the bathroom.

You went to his table and saw a big paper.

It said "All my peace, love and reason is you." written in calligraphy. Your heart felt warm, your face covered in wide smile as you quickly went to join Yokomizo in the bathroom. Two of you spent rest of your day in romantic, relaxing and loving manner truly enjoying each other.

The End :)

Thank you for reading and I truly hope you enjoyed this!

Thank you for all love you gave me so far, it truly means a lot and I deeply appreciate it :)<3

Kisses on the forehead for everyone hehe

[spoiled-milk]

making out w/ volks, cashew, and logan

a/n: ok so i wrote volks and cashews for part like 3 months ago then got possessed then wrote logans part so i wouldn’t have to study the central nervous system. enjoy ur crumbs blush blush fandom

content warning: some slight nsfw but nothing like crazy explicit me thinks. not proofread or revised (will do so later 🫡)

word count: ~600 words

volks is possessive of you. he's a little jealous of others who get to be around you, but he just wants you all to himself so how could you blame him when he tears you away from the large crowd and into a small supply closet at the club you were at. you feel him place harsh kisses on your neck as you wrap your arms around him. his hands roam your body as he continues to litter your neck in hickeys and soft bites. he unbuttons your top slightly as he continues to bite at your skin. after several bite marks on your chest, he moves for your lips. unlike the bites volks has left on your body, his kisses on your lips are gentle and soft. he wants to do nothing but envelope himself in everything that has to do with you. your scent, your saliva, your pheromones, all of it. he may not be part wolf anymore, but he still has that primitive animalistic side of him that wants nothing more than to keep you all to himself with the marks to prove it.

cashew is inexperienced, but a very quick learner. the only experience he has was through reading romance and smut novels at the local library. things started off with him reading a passage out of his book to you, but then things started to escalate when you kiss him. it started off gentle until he puts his book away and uses his hands to cup the back of your head instead. cashew has never been in that many relationships and he's not sure if he's doing things right, but judging by the way you bunch up his shirt in your hands, he has a feeling that he's probably doing something correct. he runs his fingers through your hair as you move to straddle his lap. he lets you take charge as you run your hands under his shirt. cashew can feel his blood run boiling hot as you continue to lock lips with him. you peek through your eyelashes and see that cashew's face is entirely red as you slip his jacket off so that he's left in his white t-shirt.

it’s no secret that logan is a big guy. big man with big muscles who could probably crush you with no effort whatsoever. logan is careful with how he handles you, scared that he’ll accidentally hurt you. he knows that he won’t but when he looks at you, he essentially sees you as a human sized squishmallow. coming back from a long evening shift, he sees you slumped on the couch asleep. he certainly feels bad for making you stay up late waiting for him when he was forced was asked to pick up a shift, but the sight that blesses him at this very moment makes everything worth it to him. the sun’s rays slightly illuminate your facial features and makes you look like an angel. he feels his heart race as he reaches you. he effortlessly lifts you from the couch and moves you into his bedroom. you stir in his arms and he can see the drowsiness in your eyes. “good morning sleepyhead. i hope i didn’t keep you waiting all night for me.” you shake your head at logan’s words. “not really. just tired after doing work ‘n whatnot.” logan sets you down into his bed and he joins you after taking off his work clothes. he pulls you into his arms as he plants a soft kiss on your temple then your lips. you can’t help but pull him in for a longer passionate kiss after that. the smell of hickory and cedar fill your nostrils as you continue to kiss him. the two of you separate for air and logan plants a kiss on your forehead and ushers you to go back to sleep. you comply and he cradles you in his arms and he eventually succumbs to sleep

[black-rose-blue-lodge]

The Importance of Donna in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

Okay, so a lot of people like to ship Donna Hayward and Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks, and there is good reason for that. Throughout the original run, Donna is haunted by her complex feelings for Laura. She loved her, she envied her, she wanted to be her. She misses her. Donna gets close to James, Maddy and Harold in part because they all give her the feeling of being close to Laura. In Fire Walk With Me, we are shown just how close they were.

Donna is very important in Fire Walk With Me. I believe that none of this requires you to ship the characters, although I also find it compelling evidence for a romantic reading of the film. Basically, even if you think the characters have only platonic feelings for each other, this is a summary of why Donna matters.

Near the end of the film, Laura tells James “You don’t know me. There are things about me… Even Donna doesn’t know me.” Of all the people who apparently don’t know Laura, Donna knows her the most. She is given the most importance. While Laura’s relationships with James and Bobby are shown to be ineffectual and largely irrelevant to the story of the end of her life, Donna is front and centre. Their friendship, their love for each other, is the emotional core of the film.

Our first insight into Laura’s psyche comes when she confides her depression and existential dread in Donna with the lines: “the angels wouldn’t help you… because they’ve all gone away.” In this scene, she is much more candid, willing to expose this part of herself. She essentially believes that she is doomed, that no one will be there to save her. (And, on a surface level, she is correct: even Mike, the “one man… Bob is afraid of” according to Laura’s secret diary, does not save her from death.)

When Laura begins to realize BOB’s true identity, she turns to Donna. Donna grounds her in reality. Laura seems to walk “between two worlds” in the film, constantly teetering on the brink of life and death. Donna is perhaps her greatest remaining connection to this world. And, difficult as that responsibility may be, Donna gladly accepts it.

Donna is depicted in Fire Walk With Me as a shy and conservative girl, contrasting strongly with Laura, who is openly ‘dangerous’ and promiscuous. Donna daydreams about having “lasting love… true love” but doesn’t even have a boyfriend. She takes all her cues from Laura. When she tries to become more adventurous, she does it to be like Laura, to understand Laura. This is shown after the Pink Room sequence, where Donna asks tearfully “Why do you do it?” She desperately wants to know, to stand there with Laura between two worlds and comfort her, but she can’t. She can never understand.

In The Missing Pieces, after Laura’s breakdown at Donna’s house, Donna whispers something to her father, who then reads a (clearly fake) “secret message for Laura”.

We don’t know what Donna whispered to Doc Hayward, but she must have asked him to say something about the angels returning, because she was the only one present when Laura said that the angels wouldn’t help her. The camera reinforces this, lingering on Donna as her father “reads” the message. It is a message from Donna.

Laura leaves after this, clearly affected. The way it cuts to Donna during the line “the one that is meant to help you” suggest that Donna believes that she can help Laura. If no other angels are there, Donna will be the angel who helps Laura out of the darkness.

Now, BOB’s stated motivation in the film is to “taste through [Laura’s] mouth”, turning her into the next ‘vehicle” for his evil. In the series (2x9), Laura’s diary reveals that she died because it was “the only way to keep Bob away from [her], the only way to tear him out from inside.” She wrote, “I know he wants me, I can feel his fire. But if I die he can’t hurt me anymore.” She died to avoid a fate worse than death.

In Fire Walk With Me, the focus shifts, and it’s not just about Laura. In the film, Laura dies so that BOB can’t use her to hurt the people around her. It is strongly implied that the fate of Twin Peaks itself hangs in the balance. (This is arguably why the scenes of everyday town life in The Missing Pieces were included to begin with; they offer glimpses of what Laura dies to protect.)

If BOB possesses Laura, his fire will spread. The Log Lady warns her “the tender boughs of innocence burn first… and then all goodness is in jeopardy.” This is right before Laura goes into the Roadhouse, where Donna follows her, beginning the dangerous game of “chicken” that they play, where Laura keeps trying to scare Donna away, and Donna keeps trying to show Laura that she isn’t scared. This sequence is the last straw for Laura. When she sees Donna slipping into darkness in the Pink Room, she gets a firsthand glimpse of “the tender boughs of innocence” beginning to burn.

Laura’s influence, despite all her intentions, has started to corrupt Donna. It’s one thing for Laura to be taken advantage of by these men. In her opinion, she can handle it, and she is doomed anyway. But not Donna. In the screenplay, this is even more explicit during the Pink Room scene.

Donna represents everything at stake if BOB wins. For Laura, Donna is the incarnation of “innocence” and “all goodness”. In that way, she is indeed like an angel, and Laura doesn’t want to bring about her fall from grace.

This is the heart of the film. The essence of Laura’s sacrifice. She dies for Donna.

As much as I, like many others, ship Donna with Laura, Laura could never be with Donna, not in this universe. Though I believe Laura has feelings for her, she would not act on them, because she views Donna as someone fundamentally good, and herself as someone fundamentally bad. This is encapsulated in the line “I love you, Donna… But I don’t want you to be like me.” In the original series, a passage from Laura’s diary reads: “I love Donna very much, but sometimes I worry that she wouldn’t be around me at all if she knew what my insides were like.” Now Donna has seen Laura’s dark side, the things she does, and still she loves her, still she wants to be there for her.

So Laura returns the favour. She becomes the guardian angel of Twin Peaks, ignoring Cooper’s dream-warning and putting on the ring. She hopes that the evil will die with her. Of course, it doesn’t, because Laura was never the source of that evil to begin with. BOB’s power lies in his ability to be indistinguishable from human evil. As Albert remarks, “Maybe that’s all BOB is. The evil that men do.” BOB was never just Laura’s dark side. Laura ended up as just another victim, with a letter under her fingernail, like Teresa Banks before her and Maddy Ferguson after her.

Regardless, Laura’s death means something. She dies on her own terms, in defiance of beings far beyond her comprehension. Her choice to die is an act of love, born of the sincere belief that the world will be a better place without her.

At the very end of Fire Walk With Me, in the enigmatic purgatory of the Red Room, Laura sees a vision of an angel.

Earlier, Ronette Pulaski saw an angel while in the train car, but that angel actually did help her. Ronette escaped. Laura’s angel is different. It isn’t there to help her. Laura is beyond help now. No, it is the mere fact of seeing this angel that gives Laura comfort. The angel is pure, radiant, seemingly unaffected by the darkness that surrounds it.

The actress who plays Laura’s angel, Lorna MacMillan, has dark, curly hair, and from a distance, is somewhat reminiscent of Donna. (Similarly, Ronette's angel is blonde, possibly to remind us of Laura.) Now, it would have been far too obvious for Moira Kelly to play Laura's angel, and that isn’t really the point. The angel represents the goodness that endures. It represents the same thing as Donna. The innocence that Laura died to protect. In the end, Laura’s only comfort is knowing that, though her death did not bring an end to darkness, it did allow for the continued survival of light. The light flickers on Laura's face in this scene, just like in the Pink Room. There, she was watching Donna flirt with the darkness. Here, she is looking at the angel Donna promised would return.

The track that plays during this scene is “The Voice of Love”. Laura was not ultimately corrupted. Like that angel, she is now a lonely light in a world of darkness. The darkness did not win. Generations of trauma and evil could not make her give in. So why does the angel look like Donna? Because Donna was the best thing about Laura. As much as Donna tries to emulate Laura, both while she is alive and after her death, Laura saves herself, and the world, by emulating Donna. Donna’s selflessness, compassion and bravery are qualities that Laura already has, but she can’t see them in herself. That is why she sees the angel as something outside of herself. I believe the angel is Laura. Of course, Laura could never see herself as an angel.

But she could very easily see Donna as one.

[j4rhead]

can i request rubbing kaeyas cock thru his underwear and not directly tocuhing him? making him cum in his boxers with only small touches and make out🤭

the following work contains: nsfw, gn reader, dom reader, very small bit about alcohol and drinking (in true kaeya fashion)

i got sorta carried away and wrote a lot cause i love kaeya, i hope to have characterized him correctly. please don't mind typos, I've proofread this but there might be some i didn't catch.

the cavalry captain is surely... something. he's polite, pleasant to have a conversation with, playful and teasing with an occasional flirt here and there—nothing that makes you uncomfortable, of course.

it's easy to see that it's nothing but a very carefully crafted mask. the man reveals almost nothing about himself save for the fact that he occasionally enjoyes a drink in the angel's share, and some weird story about his grandfather being a hardcore pirate (you don't believe a word of it).

you're burning with curiosity to know more, maybe catch him off guard, see how his mask breaks into pieces and what he's like without it, so that's how you find yourself heading for the angel's share that evening to have another chat with kaeya.

you end up having a few drinks with him, a few bits of conversation and the usual flirt. you can tell he's careful about how much he drinks in front of another person. he's not drunk yet and neither are you, but you feel the urge to do something bold like sliding your hand on top of his, so you do exactly that.

you catch the way his eyes widen slightly before he corrects his expression to a smirk and a playful quip that you don't catch because you're too busy staring intensely at his face, and you suddenly realize that he would look good wearing a broken, flushed expression, maybe even squirming underneath you.

you can't tell if that's the alcohol catching up to you or not and you frankly do not care.

never been one to beat around the bush, you inch your face closer to his and look into his eyes—you want to see if he would still have the mind to put on a facade when you start with him. he looks at you like he's analyzing your intentions, looks away for a brief second, then leans in with a teasing smile.

you two make out for what must've been minutes before you part, both flushed and panting slightly and you can see that he's somewhat aroused if his tight horseriding pants are showing you correctly, so you wordlessly signal with your head and smirk, and he replies with his signature wink (which isn't really a wink... because of the eyepatch).

rest of the motions go in a blur. next thing you know, you're pressing him against a door to some mondstadt hotel's room—of course he would be too cautious to bring me home, you think to yourself— and you're kissing him senseless.

you can tell he wants to take control of the kiss, but you bite his bottom lip and you force him back into your rhythm. your hand finds its way inside the chest window of his annoyingly complicated attire and with the briefest touch of your fingers against his skin, he gasps into your mouth.

touch starved and sensitive all over, it seems. your other hand drops to his waist and ghosts along his hips, noting how he shivers slightly at the touch as you push a knee between his legs and lick at his lips. he lets out a noise at the touches, his mouth forms a half-smirk before he opens it for you to deepen the kiss, which only makes you want to break him even more.

he hasn't exactly given in to you, rather it seems like he's enjoying this way too much to try and reverse the positions, so you take advantage of that and push your knee a bit higher against his clothed arousal. he tries to muffle his moan into your kiss so you pull back, looking at his flushed expression and feeling the way he practically heats up under your touch. he looks back at you in a daring way as if he's trying to challenge you, try and see what you can do, that's the wordless message written on his expression.

you smirk at him with confidence, dragging your hand from his hip to the very obvious tent in his pants and when you grab him through the fabric he jerks a bit from the grip before arching his back a bit into your touch and letting out a breathy moan, hands coming up to your neck and pulling you back inside for another deep kiss. this time he manages to take control of the kiss before taking revenge for your previous bite with one of his own and you think to yourself, challenge accepted.

if he wants to tease, then you'll do it to him tenfold. you tease him with feather touches on his dick then switching to rougher pulls, and you can tell he's getting more riled up and desperate by the second with the way he shuts his visible eye tightly and his breathing becomes more rapid and irregular, moans increasing in volume no matter how hard he tries to muffle them, and when you kiss the sharp edge of his jawline he squirms under your touch with a shaky gasp.

his hands slide down to grip the back of your clothes tightly while he tries to push you closer to him if that's even possible, flushed all over and cursing and a mantra of "more, fuck, pleasepleaseplease-" falling from his lips as his voice breaks slightly, somewhat deepened with pleasure and arousal, and you kiss his lips rougher than any kiss you two shared the whole night.

in a matter of seconds he arches his back and lets out a loud pretty sound against your lips and his whole body tenses like a spring, his hands gripping the back of your clothes so tightly that you fear they would rip, and his knees threaten to give out with the force of his orgasm. his expression is everything you could have asked for—flushed and lost in utter bliss as his eye looks at you in a glassy daze.

you can't help but smirk at the wet patch forming in front of his pants. who knew the famous captain kaeya, ever the mystery, would break so easily under a few touches? you have half a mind to tease him about it or maybe even shame him, see what clever witty thing he'll come up to reply with, and then finally getting rid of his very annoyingly complicated attire. after all, you've got him to yourself for a whole night, haven't you?

[astrronomemes]

A NOVEL I’LL NEVER PUBLISH : STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from a YA novel I wrote back in high school. change & alter as needed.

“Are you just going to keep staring at that thing all day?”

“This is a bank, right? ...So why does it look like there’s some serious horror movie shit going down here?”

“Personally, I think she was just born a bitch.”

“Get yourself something to eat.”

“We’ve got to get this place cleaned up and looking nice.”

“It only takes sixty seconds of your time, but the peace of mind it gives you will last for a lifetime.”

“And you’re not frightened of needles, right?”

“That’s got more lies printed on it than a presidential campaign poster.”

“Remember that weekend in Los Angeles? Well, this is just like that, except we’re not using dynamite, and there won’t be any human sacrifices.”

“Oh, god, it’s trying to break the door down!”

“Did you get that off a bumper sticker?”

“No one wants to deal with your shit, [name]. Why else do you think your parents ditched you?”

“I’m fine. I ate last night.”

“Yes, a fair number of global concerns could be resolved if only people would stop ‘saying things’.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“It’s been like this for as long as I can remember.”

“My parents weren’t really into all that sentimental ‘loving your child’ shit.”

“Do you think it’s after midnight yet?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, [name], but I’m pretty sure no one in recorded history has ever had laser vision.”

“Still, it’s kind of cool, isn’t it?”

“There’s no reason to be nervous, honey. It’s just standard procedure.”

“Things will get better. They just have to.”

“We have enough to keep the lights on, or the water running, but not both.”

“Look, nobody cares about people like us, okay? They never do. They never will. We’re on our own out here.”

“Apparently, I’ve joined the ranks of the demons. That’s what the priest told me when he was trying to ‘save my immortal soul’, or whatever.”

“I’m just a fuck-up, okay?! I fuck everything up! Everything! All the time! That’s why I’m alone! That’s why no one wants anything to do with me!”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us, son.”

“She’s probably just mad at us for breathing. Repeated offenses, you know.”

“I’m doing this for you! For all of you!”

“We’ll leave a light on for you.”

“You’ve always been a part of our family, [name]. You just took the long way coming home.”

[rebeccathenaturalist]

*deep breath* This, folks, is EXACTLY why I am writing The Everyday Naturalist. Because it's not enough to have an app. You HAVE to know how to use multiple identification tools and have keen observational skills if you are going to safely forage or otherwise identify things in nature.

Here's the deal. Apps are a tool. They are not infallible, and they should never, ever, EVER be your only tool for identifying mushrooms and other organisms. This goes even moreso for when you're trying to determine whether something is edible or not. I go into more detail about why apps should never be used by themselves in this article that I wrote a few months back, but let's explore a bit more about how an app works.

Any identification app has access to a particular database of pictures and other information for various species. In the case of my favorite app, iNaturalist, it draws from the over 156 million (and growing) observations of animals, plants, fungi, and other living beings that have been uploaded to it over the years.

When you upload a photo to an app, your phone usually inputs the date, time, and GPS location automatically, though these can be updated manually if need be. Then the app's algorithms sift through the database looking for species that are found in the same location at the same time of year, and which have similar photos.

Notice that I said SIMILAR, not identical. Many organisms, to include many fungi, have varying appearances based on subspecies, life stage, and other factors. And there are a lot of species that have close lookalikes, whether we're talking birds, wildflowers, mushrooms, etc.

So the algorithms then use their search results to give you their suggestion(s) of what most closely resembles the organism you are trying to identify. Some give you one answer; others, like iNaturalist, offer you a list to choose from, and may also qualify their response with "We're not sure, but these were found nearby" or something similar. The first one on the list is NOT always going to be the correct answer. However, the app doesn't have reasoning skills, and all it can do is play match-up and then produce suggestions based on that. (Yes, other iNaturalist users can come along and comment on your observations once you've uploaded and saved them, but you always want to carefully assess their claims, too.)

There are several toxic mushrooms that are implicated in poisonings on a regular basis; among them are what I call the "deadly Amanitas": the death cap (Amanita phalloides) and the destroying angels (A. bisporigera, A. ocreata, and A. verna.) In addition to these species' respective native ranges in Europe and North America, some have managed to make their way to other parts of the world. This includes in Australia, where there is a current investigation underway over a woman who fed several family members deadly Amanitas, three of whom have died.

These poisonous mushrooms have several edible lookalikes. As one example, while matsutakes (Tricholoma matsutake) are often brown, they may sometimes appear white, especially if the brown layer has peeled off. And field mushrooms (Agaricus spp, especially A. bisporus and A. campestris) are also large white mushrooms, though their gills and spores tend to be brown rather than the white of Amanita species.

Still, someone taking a picture of a large white mushroom--especially if they neglect to take another picture of the gills (the more pictures you take, the better)--could easily end up with an app telling them an Amanita is an Agaricus. Or they might read that some people think it's safe to eat Amanita muscaria if you parboil it long enough, and assume that other Amanita species are the same way (one of MANY reasons I do not advocate for treating A. muscaria as an edible.)

So--again--DO NOT USE APPS AS YOUR ONLY ID TOOL. Use them in conjunction with multiple field guides, websites, other foragers, etc. Practice using these tools and developing a critical eye before you go out foraging. Be super cautious, and when in doubt, throw it out.

And my inbox is ALWAYS open, as is my email (rebeccathenaturalist(at)gmail(dot)com.) You can ALWAYS email me with questions about field guides, apps, and other resources, and I am also happy to look at pictures of mushrooms (and other living beings) you're trying to identify, whether edible or not. You might need to give me a few days to reply, but I will get back to you. Don't use ME as your only source, either; I'm just one person. But I can point you to online groups that are also good resources.

[companionjones]

The Most Anxiety Inducing Experience of Your Life

Pairing: Pre-established!Beck Oliver x Fem!Anxious!Reader

Fandom: Victorious (Nickelodeon)

Summary: This is based off the episode “Tori the Zombie” where you take the place of Tori. Some things are changed. For example, you are in a relationship with Beck.

Warnings: Cursing

*******

    “Baby, relax. It’s just an audition.” Beck tried to calm your nerves as the two of you sat in a line outside the Black Box theater.

    His words did nothing to soothe you. “You’ve done a hundred of these, Beck. This is my first one, and I’m freaking out. Maybe I should just head home--” You moved to get to your feet.

    Beck put a hand on your shoulder, preventing you from standing up. “No way. Babe, you’re the most talented person at this school. I’m not going to let you go a whole semester without doing one play. Plus, you need it for your grade.”

    “This is not a play. This is a musical,” you corrected. “You have to sing and dance in musicals.”

    He shrugged. “I don’t usually do musicals either, yet here I am. I’m a little nervous too, but I’m working through it.”

    “You don’t need to be nervous. You have a wonderful singing voice, Beck. You should use it more often.”

    “My point exactly, except reversed back onto you.” Beck took one of your hands in both of his and kissed the back of it. “You can do this, sweetheart. I know you can.”

***

    When the cast list was posted about a week later, you nearly fell when you saw the results.

    “Yes, I got Clive!” Robbie fist-pumped as he congratulated himself.

    Rex then spoke up. “Yeah, you’re the villain in the play and you’re the villain in my life too.”

    Robbie and Rex continued their bickering, and you heard the somehow fainter voice of your boyfriend right next to you. “Oh my god, we got the leads, baby! I am so proud of you!” He gathered you in his arms and kissed the side of your head.

    “How the hell am I gonna do this?” You didn’t know if you had thought that inside your head or voiced it out loud.

***

   A month later, you were well into rehearsals. Your director had just called to “Take five” because there was a problem with the lights.

    “Whoa, guys. Everyone shut up a second.” Jade suddenly got the attention of the crowd. “I just got an email from Principal Eichner.” She read, “To all students involved in this years production of Uptown/Downtown, Sofia Michelle will be in Los Angeles the weekend of the 17th, and will be personally attending your opening performance.”

    Sofia Michelle was the woman who wrote your musical. She was one of the biggest playwrights on Broadway.

    “Why don’t we sit down?” Beck offered, lowering you to the lip of the stage.

    “I think I need a paper bag,” you told your boyfriend.

    “To breathe or throw up?”

    “Jury’s still out.”

    Beck had you lay on his shoulder as he tried his best to calm you down.

***

    About a month after that, you were hanging out in Beck’s trailer, trying not to think of opening night of the show, which was the following night. Well, at least one of you was trying not to think about it.

    “You know you’re gonna be great right?” Beck commented as the two of you laid in each other’s arms in his bed.

    You took a big breath, and tried to think about things rationally. “Yeah, I know,” you finally answered. You raised one of Beck’s hands to your lips and kissed it. “As long as you’re there with me.”

    Just then, your phone started ringing. You and Beck sat up in bed as you answered it.

    “Hey, Cat--” was all you were able to get out.

    “Oh my god, oh my god! I need your help! I took this I took this class for special effects makeup and I can’t figure out how to make people look like scary monsters so I just keep on making them cute and the models keep quitting on me! Please, if you don’t help me, I’m gonna fail this class!”

    She was getting so loud that you had to hold your phone away from your ear, yet you and Beck could still hear Cat clearly.

    “What do you need me to do?” you asked her.

    “I NEED TO PRACTICE MONSTER MAKEUP ON YOU PLEASE!” Cat’s voice sounded even louder through the speaker on your phone.

    You and Beck shared a look. Not seeing another option, and not wanting Cat to get any louder, you both nodded.

    “Come over my place, Cat,” Beck offered.

    “Thank you! Thank you so much!” Cat’s voice went back to regular volume before she hung up the phone.

***

    “Hey guys! I got some pizza if you--JESUS!”

    A couple hours later, Beck had stepped out to get some food. When he returned, he almost dropped the pizza he was holding.

    You had been standing right by the door (maybe, probably, definitely) trying to scare your boyfriend, and succeeding. “What do you think?” you asked him, “Don’t I look hideous?”

    Recovering from the scare you had just given him, Beck responded in a sweet boyfriend way, “You’re still beautiful to me.”

    “Oh no! Really?!” Cat started to revel in failure again.

    Beck tried to backtrack, but he didn’t want to hurt your feelings. “N-no, Cat! Y/n looks...uh...I think I walked into a trap, here.”

    “I’ll get you out of it,” you joked to your boyfriend. “You did a great job, Cat. I look like a monster!”

    “Yay!” she celebrated.

    “Alright, you put this on, you took your pictures. Can you take this off now?”

    “KK!” Cat smiled before readying her makeup station again.

    Beck put down the pizza, then noticed something in Cat’s makeup stuff. “Cat, what is this?”

    Cat didn’t spare it a second glance. “Oh, that’s glue!”

    “I know that. Why is it with your makeup supplies?” His voice was becoming more and more concerned.

    You decided to take a closer look at the kind of glue he was holding. Your stomach dropped. “Is that Grizzly Glue?!”

    Beck was still asking Cat questions. “Where did you get this?”

    “I ran out of makeup glue so I got that from my father’s tool box.”

    You got mad. “Grizzly Glue is like industrial cement, Cat. It’s not supposed to come in contact with skin!”

    “I’m sorry!”

    You, Beck, and Cat spent the next hour trying to get the makeup off your face. When that didn’t work, you three spent the next hour after that on the phone with doctors and the Grizzly Glue company.

    Beck got off the phone with the doctor first. “Okay, she said it’s not going to cause any damage to your face, just that we won’t be able to get it off.”

    “I could’ve told you that,” you remarked sarcastically.

    Cat got off the phone too, but she wasn’t relaying any of the information to you and Beck.

    “Well?” you asked her.

    “Oh, right!” Cat turned to you. “Apparently, they make a solvent. We have to drive to Bakersfield to get it.”

    “Bakersfield?!” you and Beck yelled at the same time.

    “Relax,” Cat calmed, “Trina owes me a favor. I got her out of a date like a week ago. After school tomorrow, I’ll get her to drive me there to get the solvent, I’ll bring it back, and everything will be good again!”

    “Everything will be good again if you get that solvent on my face before the show starts tomorrow.”

    “Omg that’s right you guys start your run tomorrow! How are you feeling?” aimlessly wondered Cat.

***

    “DarlingAngelSugarLove,” Beck addressed you with every pet name he could think of in this time of desperation. “It’s going to be alright.”

    “In what world is it going to be alright?!” you whisper-yelled backstage, “We are going on in two minutes, and I look like a zombie! Cat and Trina still aren’t here!” Your breathing started to get all out of wack. You could’ve sworn that you were going to pass out.

    Suddenly, Beck kissed you.

    You melted into the kiss, and it lasted long enough for your breathing to get back under control.

    Beck broke the kiss. “I love you. You are the most amazing person I know. Now, you are going to go out there and rock this show no matter what you look like. Take a deep breath with me.”

    You did as you were told. “Thank you so much for dealing with all my crazy.”

    “We’re in show business,” he smiled, “Our lives are always going to be crazy.” He started walking away from you to get into places.

    “And Beck?”

    He turned back around.

    “I love you, too.”

    Your smiles matched each other as you stood on opposing sides of the stage.

***

    So, you went through the show looking like a zombie. Well, most of the show. During the last number, you glanced backstage and saw Cat and Trina with the solvent.

    André was in the band, and he was aware of your situation, as was everyone involved with the show, so you subtly signalled to him to stretch the song out. He nodded, and you all but ran offstage.

    You made it back in time for the last chorus of the number, and you were so hyped on the adrenaline of the show and just barely making it on on time, that you kissed Beck during the final pose.

    The curtain closed, and Beck picked you up and spun you around without breaking the kiss.

    You two had to split up again for bows, and from the shadows, you saw Beck mouth, “I’m so proud of you.”

    You were so happy that you kissed him again during your bows.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[iamyoursonly]

3AM (29/03/2024)

wrote this at 3am because i had a dream of him and i needed some hallucinations desperately <3 sorry for not posting for so long though, i had so many tests i could barely breathe :(

Late nights but no movie night, I’m just overworking myself, as I sit at the same spot for the 27th hour.

My tired eyes drag across the computer screen, lazy fingers typing the last few words with my keyboard to complete my long due essay. Headphones listening to pop music to keep my mind awake, well the unhealthy amount of caffeine also helped with that.

I take some freshly washed grapes that I previously prepared for myself and put one in my mouth, slowly chewing and getting a taste of how sweet the grapes are. Suddenly, my mind wanders to think of how it would feel like if there was someone to feed me grapes when I’m doing work.

I slap my face and take another sip of my coffee when my mind tries to wander away and think about that ‘homeless romantic’ crap again. I could’ve been doing that if my immature self didn’t choose to become a become a doctor. I just sigh and continue the essay.

Until I couldn’t, and I passed out on the table.

“My love? Are you alright?” A man whispered into my ear, his voice was so hot and addictive though. Complaining would be the last thing I would do honestly. But I had to get up and check who it was.

I open my eyes, slowly getting used to the light at my desk again, only to find the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my whole entire life. He was gorgeous as a greek god that only Zeus had crafted himself. His features as sharp as a knife, and he looked divine.

“Am I hallucinating?” I mumbled, and as if I said it out loud, the man whispered again. “No you’re not, sweetheart.”

Well I better be in heaven for working my butt off completing that stupid essay. Seeing that I’m face to face with this beautiful man, I’m 100% sure I spawned into the correct place after I died. So this is the after life, it’s not even half bad to be honest. Like just look at him, he must be my guardian angel that is on his way to guide me to the staircase to heaven. The staircase will definitely be as gorgeous as his eyes…

“Hello? Darling? Are you still with me?” He says again, and I leaned closer to admire his features. I whisper a soft “Yes, I am.” As I focus on his ocean blue eyes, and before I knew it, I was drowning in that ocean his eyes held. His eyes was blue like a beautiful sunny day, it was that shade of blue that everyone liked, and I couldn’t help but admiring them a little bit too much too.

“Earth to y/n?” He tries yet again, but this time I could just focus on how snowy white his hair was, it was as white as the whitest paint ever made, and it looked so beautiful and silky I couldn’t even describe how much I wanted to run my fingers through his hair.

As if he could read my mind, he grabbed my face and closed the distance between the two of us, and our faces were so close I could feel his breath… He can touch me! And I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t. “Sir…?” I choked out, with his face so close to mine, I could barely control my pacing heartbeat, let alone my flushed expression. I could just stare into those captivating eyes of his and think about how beautiful he is… Honestly, even the most beautiful words cannot describe how spectacular he looks.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, and with us this close, I’m definitely not okay.

“May I ask who you are and why you’re here?” I ask, trying to put up a strong face, trying not to show my weak side.

“I’m Gojo Satoru,” he replies swiftly, without hesitation, “And I may come from the future but don’t freak out please. I’ll explain.”

I just look at him, not knowing how to react as my mind had suddenly gone blank from this shocking news. “Time travelling? That’s possible?”

He chuckled as if he knew how I would react, “How old are you, darling?”

“I’m 14.” I tell him, a bit curious about what he will tell me next. “I’m 29.” He tells me, “It’s 2024 right now, right? I was 16 during that time.”

It took quite a long moment of silence for me to process this new idea of time travelling that I never thought would happen in the near future. I just look at him and his smile as he moved away from me. The amount of questions I had started flooding my mind, I had to resist the urge to ask him all at once.

“So you’re in the year 2036?” I ask him, and I got my answer in a second.

“Actually 2037, it’s March right now, right? Well, I was born in December.” He said, with a smile.

“Why are you telling me all this? What do you want from me?” I started blurting out the questions I had in my mind for a while. And he just looked at me. “I just wanted to see if you met me yet, by that I meant my 16 year old self.”

“Huh?” I started to get confused, “What do you mean by that?”

“We’re dating, darling. In the future, and we’re engaged just last month in 2027.” He smiles, looking so happy I could almost know what to anticipate for the future, “You’re definitely the best thing that happened to me, I could see why I chose you as my wife.” I sat there in shock, not knowing the right words to say, but I felt a hot rush of heat on my face, I must’ve been blushing so hard when I heard him say that we will be engaged… I mean engaged with that man? What luck did I have to be able to pull him?!

“When will we start dating, may I ask?” I manage to choke out, and he laughs, making my face blush an even redder tone. Then he puts a finger up to his lips, as if telling me that it’s a secret, “Wait and see, it won’t be fun if I just spoil all the fun.”

His watch suddenly starts beeping really loudly, as if signalling him to go back, and I was right.

“Sorry darling,” he shows me his watch, and it shows that he had a minute left, “It’s time’s up for now, but I’ll see you later.” He just gave me a big hug and then he disappeared into thin air.

I still didn’t know how to react to that chain of information, I just sat still for a long time, so long that I could feel my butt hurting because of that. The wind blowing my curtains away from the touch of the windows, and that woke me up, that cold breeze of wind at night but with just a tiny bit of warmth to bring me the comfort I needed.

As if I needed something cold to continue this thinking, I head down the convenience store, in my silly pyjamas, I needed to get my daily doze of milk at 3am for better thinking. Not thinking that anyone would be there at 3am just like me, but I caught a glance of a tall guy with some snow white hair, and in that instant, I couldn’t stop my body from running towards that isle that he was in.

The tall guy turned to look at me, as I was panting from running so fast towards him, and he stared at me up and down, “Are you okay, miss?” I look at him, and I could see the sparkly ocean blue eyes I’ve just seen a moment before, but this person looked like a mini version of him — that Gojo guy. Even their voice sounded somewhat similar…

“I am, thanks for your concern.” I tell him, and he gave a slight smile before grabbing the last bottle of milk to the counter.

“Hey!” I call out to him, and he turned back to look at me, “What is it?” he says.

“I wanted that bottle too,” I say, a blush starting to creep up on my face, I think that explains the smirk on his face, “It might be weird asking but do you mind sharing?”

He just laughed out loud, breaking the silence in the air, and I just look at him with my blush creeping up my face so much faster than before. “So?” I ask again.

“I’ll just give you the bottle.” He tells me, then he heads to the counter to pay while I can’t even move my legs from embarrassment to stop him from paying for me. I simply stood in shock and waited for his return in the same position. He came back and gave me the bottle, I held onto the bottle tight and I maintained eye contact with him before he started leaving the store with both his hands in his pockets.

“Wait!” I call out, again, and he looks at me, “Would your name be Gojo Satoru?”

He didn’t necessarily respond but he did give just that tiny nod I needed to confirm, then he mouths the words, ‘I’ll see you later.’

master list

[ophelian-darling]

OMG YOU WRITE FOR MONSTER NOW!? The first post i read from you was about what type of darling giorno likes and oh my lord was it amazing. The way you wrote it and the sophistication of that post matched giorno so well and the dialogue "Please stay my innocent amore forever" was just 💕❤️ (i will absolutely steal that lmao)

anyways can i ask for general headcannons for yandere johan liebert? Anything you want to write about him is perfectly fine!

Link of Giorno's post

TW: Obsession, emotional abuse, Murder threat.

enjoy ♡

The paradox of an existence is what paints Johan in a perfect light : the calm, comely curve of his lips masks all of the convulsing twistification under his pale skin. Similarly to an ocean, His comportment appears lovely to the eye, even a bit of depth under his eyes unfolds a picturesque image of a midnight chasm and a visible wisdom. However, the beauty and curiosity of exploring more discolors into a monstrosity and terror with each dive; showing an endless abyss of Nietzschean horrors. The lovely smile of his becomes a twist of depravity and never been a man so sane yet so insane all at once.

Shadows danced within his head, casting a distorted light with every move they made. It would sound unbelievable; but he really filled his imagination with paintings of you: sometimes shapeless, at other times blurry, But there was one detail that remained. 

Your lips; the wonder of them. Johan never had the capacity to think of someone in a particular manner -Other than connecting directly to his demise- yet he thought of your features more than he should. Every little detail was mesmerizing in his eyes; the blood drops in your lips, the contour of them and how they form to your emotions so lively. Unlike him, you were able to taste glimmering joys and dim sorrows, savor life as it is, not drowning in some of an anarchic pit of despair and conflict; and that made him crave some of the warmth you had.

Johan is completely calm around you, His posture plays perfectly and complies to his acting, acting that role of a good man around others and a good friend of yours (although these words of friendship or romance meant nothing to him, 'friend' wasn't correct, more like a sculptor and his muse) and coffining the monster away from others- you specifically. He doesn't want his Obsession and maladive affinity to surface and scare you away- at least not yet, not in a time when you could run away from him easily. 

Dreaming of being embraced and melted into you, or even having each other belong together and as one -like a Shadow and an Anima-  dwelled in him so many nights. Maybe he can regain his sentiment again? experience normality or maybe… take your own name? It didn't matter how, what was important that you were his salvation from the cruelty of everything. 

He has a way with words: not like a formal sparker or a reckless lover, but of a poet. Johan flows his speech as sweetly as honey and as softly as a rose petal, tugging at anyone's heartstrings with a warm feeling. When in flirtation, his words come out Cloudy; a thin string between Coquetry and Courtesy. However, When you receive that small billet-doux on your door, your heart is immediately pierced. 

You've never seen someone in a romantic light (minus some short-lived fixations) and you were almost sure that no one was willing to make a move on you -at least that's what you concluded from all of your acquaintances friendly behavior- and here you were, re-reading the small note over and over again, absorbing the beautifully written words and inhaling its fragrant Aroma of flowers. you held the paper like a bundle of nerves, very gingerly and benignly. There was a tickling skip of your heartbeat; a sudden flow of feelings rushing out as the echo of the words calmed, never been so fluttered before.

"Beloved, Of Thy Smile I adore,

  As Pure as a Seraph, As Beautiful as a long Dream

   Of what darling Bud you've flourished?  Of what Angel you've been carved? 

A Memory filled with hues of a divine Beauty, a heart with a wound so sore

 Draws Thee in the pale moon, Kisses Thee under the warm Gleam

Thorns Hurt yet don't pain,

Take them As the sweetest antidote 

All Oblations for Thou never in Vain

For All joy and love on you I dote."

-Your Wounded Cupid, Johan.

You Are blessed. Never in a blue moon you've thought about your Capacity to lure someone else, let alone Johan Liebert himself. You'd burn the last candles of thought and wonder, only to end up with no answer: Why me of all the loveliest, savviest or highest people that he chose me? The questions would die down soon to be replaced with another blissful feeling, feeling that was alive and meant to die…

'Emotions' are just a set of false faces. He can wear and crawl under any role of a normal human effortlessly. Johan loves your smile as much as he counts your tears; creating a path to your heart by offering you the mimicry of warm affection and a color of what Love appears as. You smile back- and that's a hope for a monster like him.

What is the meaning of a family? or a loved one? He asks you silently. He can't overlook that look of joy on your face whenever you spoke to a close person of yours, and it tugs something at his soul. Was Heaven the other people? He wants to ask as well; and wanting to hold your hand and go into the unknown, solaced that you'll be with him. The more he fixes his sight on your life, the more he comes to the realization that he can be your salvation as much as you're his. there is no need for others when you have him.

The peaceful world inside your mind crumbles apart, or better to say: reforms. Johan wouldn't say that everyone around you was evil out loud, he has just to expose the wickedness of others around you, how much they used you to their benefit, or twist their words and create the worst scenarios in your head… He didn't corrupt you for his enjoyment, he was just keeping the Lily of a human in Heaven. 

The Sweet fall of an Angel. He's now delighted, even more delighted. The sheer happiness you used to show faded into the clouds of despair; a crack through the rose-colored glasses broke its way through and through. Gorgeously Weak and beauteously Shattered, you're now left easy to be munched, chomped, gobbled and gulped; as to become one with him.

What affection meant to him: the absolute control and submission between two; dominion of the flesh and spirit in order to achieve the perfect union, and so he did. He's always been obsecure as Chaos, If never in a cruel way.

He was everything alluring and gruesome; a chiaroscuro painting of an Angel and a Devil, cruel to be kind, and kind to be cruel. Everytime you thought you catched a thread to pull in his persona, more tangles would unwrap. In other words, he wasn't one to be understood. 

Johan Contradicts his honeyed words in cruel actions: He can simply Call you the prettiest thing as he aims a bullet at you, taking delight at the sight of your cascading tears or the sound  of your incisioning sobs, at other times, He plants warm kisses on your hands and face, lacing his lips with venomous letters and twisting sayings, wanting to see the broken look on your face yet again, or maybe a pearl of a tear from your eye. He doesn't -would never- hate you, it's just that you were pretty when you cried. 

You've lost all of your weapons and winning Cards from the beginning. There wasn't luck or skill enough to defeat him, and you ought to be the most knowledgeable of the reality through his eyes: there was no one in the world except of you two, no heaven or hell except when you're together, and no force that shall banish you from him.

"Suffer with me"

"I know not of a meaning except of your love" 

"We belong together" 

"Ich bin du, und du bist ich"

[hidden-poet]

Hello!

I just want to say that every 'version' of your Coryo is amazing, but somehow Commander Snow is the best for me.

Maybe the reader doesn't have such a strong character and may seem the least developed compared to him and others, but....

It seems to me that this version of Coryo has a more motivated desire/desire/obsession with the reader. Somehow I see his need to be with her, her warmth, and to have control over her as a 'natural thing' that could happen to him. Because that's what Coryo might have been missing. Yes, he had Tigirs (who is a wonderful angel), but I think that even in front of her, he tried to play strong; he did not let himself feel her tenderness and care so much, because it was reminding him that he was weak, that his family is poor, and he can't take care of them himself.

So when he sees a reader—so similar to his cousin—who spreads this kindness and warmth, he wants it for himself, and with her he can afford to do more than with Tigirs. He does everything to get what he wants from her, because while Tigris herself gave him this warmth, the reader is afraid of him, and as you wrote, men like the chase. At the beginning, he was also making sure that she wouldn't be starving or something—a thing he couldn't do to his family—another act of having some kind control over her.

So, I just want to say that the reader may not be the strongest character here, but if such an amazing written Coryo I think that people simply don't care/see it as a minus or anything bad or less interesting. Quite opposite it's keeping us curious about what will happen next, what he may do to make sure he will keep her around for himself.

I will just stop my mumbling here... I'm so sorry I made it that long.

Thank you for your work, and I wish you the most inspiration to keep writing and feeding us with Coryo content. Have a happy day/night!! 💙

Hello! thank you so much for this.

You are 100% correct. As i said Coriolanus was looking a lot for comfort and safety which fueled his desire for control.

When I said that I preferred Mabel to the reader, i meant in a story telling way and not as a insult.

I just meant that the dynamic was different. In commander Snow she will always have to be submissive, not only due to her nature but also because he controls her entire community.

Where's in Snow lands on top we see Mabel who isn't shy and still holds power in the relationship. She can challenge Coriolanus which i think is a fun dynamic for a man who loves control. He has to earn it rather then it just being expected.

I've tried to flesh out the reader as much as I could we can see she is a shy, friendly girl who is naturally very motherly. She is well liked within her community, and has been well protected by her mother and brother. She's not a total victim. She can think for herself and has a high endurance level.

She has often shown to be capable of manipulating Coriolanus and finding ways through his punishments.

I think it would be cannon that he would gravitate to a girl like this.

In Snow lands on top, the attraction is purely physical. Mabel is a beautiful women and Snow likes pretty things.

Where's in Commander Snow it's the softness that attracts Snow.

The linkage between her and Tigress is spot on and something i've worked very hard to get across. He is head of the Snow household and yet the women in his life are looking after him. It would make sense that he holds a lot of guilt that he failed to provide them a life that the name of Snow should carry.

And when he finally gets back to watch himself provided for his family, he is torn away and thrown back to the district. Only to come across a girl that could heal the past for him.

Not only could he make amens with Tigress in a symbolic way. But also offer the hurt boy in him comfort. re-writting history a bit.

He wanted to hurt the small school boy so she could comfort because no one came to help small boy Coriolanus.

He wanted her to be a mother because his mother was ripped from him.

He wanted her to wash his clothes and cook his food because for so long he rarely had food to cook or clothes to wash, but when he did his cousin did it for him. His cousin who is now miles from him.

I think Tigress words, "people can be good. People are good" is something that he hold on to but see's very little. So he grabs it before it can be destroyed.

I also disagree that Coriolanus is loving the chase. He is very much wanting to skip that part and fall into the ten years married part.

He is ready to be looked after. He got the grades. He won the hunger games. Betrayed and killed people to get to the top. Now he is ready to be rewarded for it.

He is just a mummy's boy without a mummy, and he is taking it out on the poor reader.

So yes you are 110% right about the dynamic of the relationship and i LOVE that you got it so right. I am so sorry if I came across to be disrespectful to the Commander Snow story. I also love it.

💕💕💕💕💕💕