#when in reality she was just hardcore nesting

[zafiro-anyejo]

Trauma is really just... an alligator masquerading as a log, huh?

[tielt]

Heya.

I’d like to state that I would certainly be a disappointment as a guru or spiritual practitioner. If you are Christian and wish to be more open Baha’i people learn from all world religions and are Christian similar to druidic practice. If I was Christian that would be where I would be if even just for the please toss my body in a hole at my house and be done with it... strange and legal funeral, only and specifically for Bahai I think. A Klingon rite haha. She, a Baha’i, was my best friend at 17 when I left the nest; spent 1-2 years smoking and drinking coffee all night at the Denny’s, she formed more of my current beliefs than did the first 14 years of my life as LDS and she has also influenced me later in life. Helped me become slightly less naive. She has a mosquito tattoo maybe because the existence of a entity as thoroughly irritating parasitic and useless says something about god and reality, it’s seems maybe anti-Daoism, she would ask as if you really feel kinship to Trump who has absolutely no human value and yet supposedly is just another us in a different washing machine at another time. Fierce human being and honestly a harder hitter than me spiritually. Has a deaf child which has given me a curiosity towards sense disabled people I've never been able to entertain. She is a writer/teacher hardcore punk. My wife in some other life where I didn’t leave rural Oregon. (Maybe, but definitely first soulmate)

Religion/spiritual studies follow definitely skip-able just leaving access if anyone wants to know.

I have an affinity to Shinto because it’s warm bubbly paganism without any specific carnal or violence worship. Modern Shinto is for me hayao miyasaki on the positives and mushishi on the destructive, it’s acceptable stories for children to learn how to coexist in a ecosystem and the scientist bits of me approve and there’s no doctrine which is why I am openly recommending it as it is entirely non hostile and about coexistence. Shinto does believe one obvious principle that Kami pervades all things like us in that radishes are essential of the same stuff. This feels like what I learned from shaman type journeys.

I fibbed before when I said I blame objects I did that specifically to elicit a response in opposition as I want you to be on the side of your stuff as you should want to protect sacred things and have that state of mind. That rare use of false manipulation was slightly premeditated, but it is a unusual thing for me and it was done intuitively. I like to believe stuff can have magic in it. I think the guru/teacher archetype is hard wired in all of us but my relationship to that part of me is not one trained to nor would recommend to others but for fun and enjoyment of being aliveness.

The original Kino’s Journey is a really interesting combination of Buddhism and what it is to go through living and dying and how to act ethically. Little bit like Starmaker(Olaf Stapleton) or maybe Star Trek but old school. The remake is decent additionally but i stan the original. I dislike the stodgyness of Buddhism and it seems like they washed their historical humanitarian abuse from what they claim is their origin, they also believe that abortion should not be allowed which if you believe that you can be warmer there than I feel about that. I do think they are a good thing for the world in a cognitive and modern compassionate sense. Similar to why I didn’t find to much interest it Aboriginal cultures I’ve gotten to know it’s often a old dude being traditional in a lot of cases. Every tribe is different though right.

I have weird feelings saying it, but I’m much into liberation of bonds and freedom of choice where your choices are within proper ethical standards of harm and kindness and I didn’t really realize it till my 30s how U.S. of an ideal this is. About Buddhism if you didn’t know rebirth doesn’t work the way most external parties believe of Buddhist reincarnation. Death means heaven or hell realms and what is reborn is the continuation of the causation that was your imprint or dharma and following your death that thread is continued by another entity and that is prev/next life connection. A different person. I don’t believe in heaven or hell but just the hum of matter becoming energy becoming matter again but I disbelieve more of my superstitions than I believe. I may discuss random superstitions later who knows but a lot of them are obviously caused by anecdotal patterns. (Synchronicity aka pattern match which the brain excels at)

It seemed necessary to write this, if you want faith or devotional sources I don’t currently practice those intentionally and don’t see it happening. I was into Krishna for a while, but I like worship through what is in my presence in a complete form. I like not knowing; that can be uncomfortable if you are used to faith. I think it’s mystifying and amazing that there are so many mysteries that seem to be agnostic as the only rational principle of access. I just know I’m ruled by magic of emotions and heart and the brain forges through in disregard. Curiosity and convincing yourself to try on belief is something I hope is of wider utility to the human experience. I do not believe doubt is bad for you and I feel no need to apologize if I have created it in you. Repeating the intro I’m not an answer guru nor plan to be I’m just another curious cat.

Safe Journeys

[angstyclowns]

Alpha! Izuku Midoriya x Omega! Reader (Ft.Omega! Ochako)

ANd I saId AhHaHHAHHA AHHHAHHA 

I SaID HeY WhaT’s GOiNg On~~~~

I’m as useless as the G in lasagna on this page I swear.

 I also swear I’m super sorry for the inactivity but I’ve been going on hardcore isolation for four weeks (FUcK TruDEaU HaS A CaCTUs DILdO In My AsS) and I’m losing motivation fast, but I’ll try to get some asks done as soon as possible!

Anyway-

I now present my first attempt at a fic on this page-

Warning! Cheating and alpha heart break. Poor IzUwU.

Heartbreak kid

He knew deep down that she wasn’t the omega for him. He knew it, his inner alpha knew it, hell, he was sure deep down, even she knew it. But something in them kept them together. Neither were sure as to what is was, but it raged like an angry forest fire in both of them, keeping them at each others side even if they knew that something- no, someone- was out there, just aching to be a better match. 

Izuku knew he didn’t want to keep this relationship going, but the girl -He’d say omega, but that would imply his alpha viewed her as such, when in reality,it barely saw her as a person- was adamant on keeping him within arms reach. But lately, it’s taken such a turn, not even the alpha was sure he could keep up. 

Her nest was no longer an acceptable zone, the male not even allowed within a fifteen feet radius of the nest of bed sheets and pillows, her purrs no longer rang throughout the room whenever he cuddled with her, hell, cuddling alone- something both alphas and omegas needed- was so rare, Izuku was shocked beyond words. 

“Are you okay?”

 The words broke his train of though as the sudden coldness of ink disappeared from his bicep. Bright (E/C) orbs peaked up at him, bangs of (H/C) intruding every so often before she brushed them away. Her scent was vanilla sweet and surrounded him so nicely, making purrs erupt from deep within his chest. Her own purrs echoed around him reciprocation, making his alpha yip in joy. 

“I guess. Just thinking...”

The (H/C)ette hummed, resuming her work on his bicep. Somehow the omega below him convinced him to allow her to draw and doodle all over his arm, using skin safe markers of course, acting therapeutic in a way to both of them. 

“About Uraraka?”

He nodded as his purrs immediately softened, nearly disappearing completely. The click of the marker cap shutting tightly rung through his ears but, he remained stoic, eyes tracing over line after line etching onto his arm. Beautiful orchids and leaves trailed up and down his upper arm, highlighting the muscles he worked so hard to get. She even went as far as incorporating the scars into part of the piece of work, making them look like veins trailing up and down the petals of a primrose- the centerpiece of the artwork. The peice was beautiful in every way, and if he could, he’d get it tattoo’d permanently. Hell, his inner alpha was debating buying a tattoo machine just so he could have it done permanently. 

The soft hand on his un-inked arm brought his attention full circle once more, his emerald orbs snapping forward to meet (E/C) ones. Her facial features were lax and calm, and made him smile.  Her mouth moved but he couldn’t hear the words coming out of her mouth. He was too busy watching her facial features, how her eyes shined with whatever she was saying, brows raising in the cutest way, he barely even saw her stop talking. 

“-Zuku? Izuku? Izuku!” 

The alpha shook his head at the sound of his name, quickly flushing red as she giggled, waving him off as he furiously apologized. When he shyly asked her to repeat himself she did so with little hesitation. Thinking back, if he had done the same to his now girlfriend, she’d snap at him.

“I was saying that maybe you and Uraraka should have a movie night tonight. Maybe some time alone would do you both some good. I could help you set up!” Your smile was bright and it made Izuku’s inner alpha whimper at the thought of him and Uraraka alone. He wanted to have movie night with you. Laughing with you as you flawlessly recited lyric after lyric, holding you when the climax of the movie would hit and you would inevitably feel sympathetic for the main character, carrying you to bed after you fell asleep during the credits, cuddling with you until day break. All of these things were things he wanted to do with you. Not her. 

Nodding, he followed you into the dorms (Both of you sitting on the outside porch for some fresh air), thinking back onto his relationship with the brunette. She had asked him to scent something for her about two months back, and he was overjoyed. His inner alpha couldn’t care less, as he had already seen you as his omega, but Izuku knew deep down he wouldn’t get that chance. You were gorgeous in every way and he adored you for your kind hearted attitude. He adored you. But that was a far away fantasy in his mind so he settled for Uraraka. 

In the first few days, his alpha completely ignored the omega, only recently coming around to even think about her as a suitable omega; and then it was if a flip was switched and they were all back at square one. But this wasn’t his alpha’s fault. Uraraka changed completely, making even Izuku question if he wanted to keep the relationship going. And he was going to break things with her, but he didn’t have a reasonable excuse. 

No matter, maybe he could rekindle this dying light with your help. 

Or so he thought. Watching as your skipping form abruptly stopped at the kitchen entrance. His brows furrowed as his alpha pushed to the surface, immediately rushing to your side. His heart dropped at the sight. 

Iida and Uraraka were hurriedly trying to clean themselves up, the appearance of you obviously disrupting their previous activities (Izuku shuddering at  thought of what that could be. But between their disheveled hair and clothes, he could make a pretty good guess). His alpha was snarling wildly and growling, begging to be let out and put that damned omega in her place. Playing with an alpha like that was shameful that in olden days, it was punishable by death. 

But Izuku knew that would nothing but scare you, and he didn’t want that. So sucking up his tears and clearing his throat, he merely let the alpha relish in the look of horror that crossed their faces.  Clutching his hands into fists, he growled lowly before opening his mouth to speak. Yet the words he heard weren’t his. 

They were yours.

“You pitiful excuse of an omega! How in the world could you even think about cheating on an alpha, let alone one as sweet as Izuku?!” You spat the words, snarling as you stepped forward, anger apparent in your words, actions and scent. “Your pathetic doing so! I’m so ashamed of your actions, you almost make me ashamed to be an omega. God, there aren’t enough words in any language to describe how inexcusable your actions have been, much less disgraceful.”

You snapped viciously before turning to face Iida. “And you! How could you do this to one of your best friends?! This is deplorable and surely is enough to tarnish the Iida family name don’t you think?!”

The shocked look the two gave you was enough for you to deem this a triumphant victory before pulling Izuku, who looked seconds away from breaking down to his room. You watched as he let the rivers upon rivers of tears escape the corners of his eyes, eventually leaving him to his own devices, as an angry and upset alpha was also an unpredictable one.

<>~<>~<>~<>

Five days. It had been five days since anyone had seen Izuku. You left him food by his door everyday for every meal, praying he was eating it. Since the stench of death wasn’t constantly wafting from his room, you would say he was. 

You had been in his room once within those five days, hoping to collect the dishes he was obviously compiling. He let you in, but holy shit did he look like death hit him with an iron mallet. His hair was greasy and his shirt had stains all over it; eyes puffy from days of crying. It made your omega whine in agony. You ended up making him a makeshift nest that day before leaving with the dishes. 

Right now, you were wishing you had stayed with him though. Recovery girl and Aizawa stood in front of you, each looking incredibly disappointed.

Uraraka had challenged you to a fight in the middle of the night, and with your omega still being incredibly angry at her, you didn’t get the chance to decline. It had been a long and tedious battle- mainly because she just wouldn’t give up- but you won in the end; with a price however. 

Your eye was swollen and turning darker by the second and the bottom right of your lower jaw was bandaged, and you had numerous other bandages covering cuts all over your body (She had thrown you through a window). 

“I’m sure you both realize how incredibly foolish this was-”

“Y/N!” 

Your head snapped up at the sound of your name, green hair quickly entering your line of vision as a body collided with yours. Pain seared through your side but you pushed through it, just happy to see the alpha out of his room. Your omega purred loudly before you could stop it, Izuku holding you close to his chest, almost in fear of letting you go. A small cough from the male teacher behind you quickly made him let go, but he still kept a hand on your shoulder. 

He sat silently as Aizawa dealt out reprimendments and  punishments, turning to you once more after he left.

If you thought he looked bad before, he looked much worse now. Bags set under his eyes, heavy and deep, and his eyes were much more bloodshot. Tear tracks reflected off of the light above you and you could see the nearly gone remnants of the drawing on his arm. 

You didn’t get to ponder more on it before he laid his head on top of yours, hiccuping as his breaths came in short gulps of air. It didn’t seem as if he were crying, but you’ve been wrong before. 

“Please. Never do that again. When I heard you got into a fight, I- I thought I had failed you again and you were seriously hurt.” His voice cracked, but his arms remained firm, keeping you tightly against him. 

“What about me, Deku?” That very voice. The one that started this mess seemed to make Izuku grip you even tighter.

“What about you?” For a normally docile alpha, the growl that escaped him would send shivers down even Bakugo’s spine. You arms instinctively wrapped around the alpha’s ribs as you nuzzled into his chest. You know he’d never hurt you, but your omega would be damned if he wasn’t surrounding by his scent right this minute. 

He purred lowly before turning his head to face the brunette beside you two, “I trusted you, Uraraka. And you broke that trust. As far as I’m concerned your nothing but a classmate right now. Maybe one day, we could rebuild a friendship, but I don’t see that day happening anytime soon. I may be partially to blame for trusting you so easily, but even then, cheating on me in downright implorable, even for a villain. You destroyed our friendship, destroyed our relationship and tried fighting Y/N. If you knew what was good for you, you’d shut up and leave me and my omega alone right now.”

Without another word, Izuku picked you up bridal style, quickly carrying you out of Recovery girl’s office. 

Deep down, you both knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship just yet- it would take a while for him to get over the harsh reality of a heartbreak. But now, Izuku could look forward knowing you were there to help him on his journey, and when he was ready...

You’d be waiting with open arms and a smile on your face.

[elecilaombre]

Alone

 This fic was originally wrote in french, and I struggled quite a lot to translate it without spoiling the meaning behind the words. It’s Tim centric and an “Stalker AU” ( I guess) in a no cape AU, idk... anyway, it’s quite long, around 8k words ... Also it is one of my work who are kind of important for me so I hope you will enjoy it ! And a big thanks to @crypterion-moon who kindly corrected it and helped me to translate it in a correct english, you are a blessing ! And to you @nanadrawsrobins who wanted to read it ! Happy reading !

// trigger warning : mention of paranoia, depression, suicide, death, blood and stalker \\ I don’t believe it’s too hardcore but better safe than not....

“ At first it was just an impression,as if I was being followed, or spied on. From time to time, I’d turn and catch a glimpse of a leaking form. But it was alright, my fault, I always blamed my lack of sleep for those apparitions. Or maybe it was only me being too suspicious for no reason. Indeed, at first, it was only feeling, a bad one…

But suddenly it became more, so much more. Now, I saw - no, I felt - a presence always behind me, close to me. I could catch sight of this thing that was always following me, my eyes seeing glimpse of his silhouette. I was starting to be afraid of turning around and see it there right before me. Never would I have believed that it could have got worse, I thought things would improve, it couldn’t be any worse that how it was now. Except that it didn’t. I couldn’t explain exactly how or when, but the presence kept getting closer and closer. I just shouldn’t let it go by, and I learned that the hard way, the day I heard him breathing, from somewhere inside my own bedroom. He was there. In my own house. Stalking me.

I stayed awake until dawn that night, paralysed with fear … I don’t believe I have slept since …That doesn’t matter right now !

My main point is that I am being followed. Spied on. They are here, somewhere, even while I’m talking to you right now.

Even when I walk in the main hall, with their steps echoing with mine.

Even when I hold my breath, will I am lying stiffly in my bed, I can hear them just before they held their own breath, a moment too late.

Sometimes … Sometimes I swear they are whispering things, cold and dead things.

So, please, I am begging you, help me. I am tired, exhausted. I haven’t had a real night of sleep in days, weeks. I live off coffee and caffeine. And I am so terrified. Not just creeped out… It’s a chilling fear that fills my body.

But you, who is always there, present in every corner of this damn apartment. You, you must have seen them. Even if it’s only once. Just tell me where they are ! Who they are !

Oh I’m begging you, you are me, I am you… So why wouldn’t you help me. To save me ? To save us !”

Tim then fell silent and raised his head toward his reflect. He gave him a sad little smile and the other offered him a crazed one. To think he was alone with this fool.

A cold anger had begun to pervade him, will the other face took on an awful look, deformed by hatred. It made Tim gone berserk.

“ And you dare mock me ! Mock everything that happened to me ? They are going to kill me ! Or worst … Abduct me ! And you think it’s funny ? That is fucking unbelievable ! I surely hope from the bottom of my heart they will butcher you too, maybe that will be enough to erase that stupid smile off your face !”

The other was mimicking him, each one of his ticks, like a grotesque mockery of himself. 

And even if Tim heard the door opening, it didn’t stopped his fist to crash against the other face, sending blood everywhere in the process. Cracking the mirror so violently that the glass shattered, sending tiny little pieces everywhere, glasses sinking into Tim’s flesh.

He was done. Already dead. His only hope, himself from the other side, wasn’t there anymore, didn’t wanted to help him.

Tim let himself fall on his knee, surrounded by glass debris, and began to cry. To sob, hysterically, hiccuping and eyes dilated. Smile distorted on his face. However, he still had enough clarity to have heard Stephanie coming in, exclaiming softly, her voice so warm, so reassuring, this was all her. Even her footsteps were soft and calming, as well as her scent or warmth of her skin. 

He let himself go against her, eyes stubbornly closed,crying harder, sinking into her arms, her embrace into her, her, and just her. Tim was now crying because he knew. He knew she wasn’t - and couldn’t - be here. He murmured it again and again, she wasn’t here but Oh how he wished for it.

And when he opened his eyes again, Stephanie was, indeed, not within sight. He was alone and he was hallucinating. Tim was just so tired. He rubbed his eyes,trying to rid them of the burning and got up. He could just go to bed. He could finish taking care of his wound and just go to sleep, to take a well deserved rest. Or he could just finish the bandage, make himself a coffee and finish his paperworks. Yeah, that sounded about right. And when he said it out loud, tasting each word like adrénaline, giving them more strength, more tangibility in his weaken mind … He thought he heard a laugh, someone chuckling quietly. 

But, well, at this point, was it even important ?

*************************

“I feel like I am losing it… Or I might already had lost my mind. I … I saw Bruce. I saw him yesterday, in a coffee shop. I walked right by him and I just… Runaway ! 

You know as well as I do that he died, he died too. I am just so exhausted, I can’t do this anymore. I keep seeing each one of them one by one. All those I lost, my brain keeps making them reappear… Or maybe it’s the caffeine that’s making them seems so real.

I really want to sleep now. I don’t think I can’t keep doing this. Or it might be my body craving another dose of coffee … What do you think ?”

The lightbulb sizzled a little, then shut down. Tim sighed, basking in the dark, water clapping softly with the rhythm of his breath. Actually, Tim was quite relaxed right now, even with the lack of sleep. So relaxed he might even let himself sink into Morpheus arms. Might.

The water from the bath was steaming, the bathroom clammy. Tim felt his head nod, sinking softly little bit by little bit in the water, which kept lapping slower and slower as his breath calmed. His mind got fuzzy, forgetting Bruce his deceased father. Or Stephanie, his rotting best friend. Forgetting about the one from the other side, about this foreign breath getting closer.

Then, the clapping intensified, the water rising suddenly, submerging Tim’s face. Tim’s who was panicking, feeling a hand settle on his upper thigh while someone breathed against him. 

He then tried to straighten, in full panic, spitting water swallowed by error. Tim slipped, water submerging him once again but still found a way to get out, yelling as loud he could, crying, terrorised. He threw himself right to the door, almost ripping of the knob, ejecting himself in the corridor, feeling a hand brushing against his neck.

Naked, Tim ran past the living room, directly in the kitchen, slipping on the wet floor. He ended by collapsing in there, clutching a knife against his body, breath loud… 

And after five minutes of dead calm silence, Tim found the courage to light up the place. 

No one. There was nobody. Not even in the bathroom or in any other rooms. He saw nobody.

He was trembling, fear and adrenaline still pumping through his body. 

Tim cried all that night, sleep seemed impossible. So he just cried until the sun rose, incapable of putting the knife down or to do anything else than to trace over and over the finger shaped bruise on his tight. 

The mark was just confirming his theory, giving a sense of reality to this invisible threat and revealing a new problem : the stalker was done just following. Now they wanted contact and proximity. And so they had ambushed him in the bath.

*******************************

“I am a mess. A living trash. I see things, peoples, events that aren’t real. Yesterday, someone chased me in the street. For something that felt like half and hour. I wouldn’t even had thought I was able to run for so long, not in my state.

And you would never guess who was behind me … Damian. Yes, my deceased brother. Who died with my father. I can’t even empase how terrible it must have felt. And …

I don’t even know why I’m laughing, why it seems so funny to me ! It’s actually kind of depressing, that everyone I had loved had died. That I am so unlucky. It almost sounds like a tragedy. 

But, well, at least, you still here, by my side. Maybe it was meant to end with just us two. Maybe you will be enough to replace all my loved one.

I love you so.”

Tim was whispering his thoughts kindly to his coffee pot, while it prepared him the umpteenth cup of coffee got this morning. He was nursing against him an empty mug.

This morning, while busying himself, he had fallen on a nest of the other. It was mainly built of blankets, foods wraps … And thousands and thousands of pictures of him.

And creepier, the blankets were still warm. The other had just left his nest. But Tim was well aware it implied other’s existence and his apartment was big and messy, so many potential place to hide yourself and never be found in this bazaar.

So, yeah, they had made nest everywhere, on Tim’s own space. And this thought made him wring his hands, twisting them painfully with worry marked all over his face, terror and stress in his eyes.

He poured himself another cup of coffee.

**********************

“ I heard howls all night long. I am sure they hooted until dawn. I could almost swear I even heard their wings flapping inside my own bedroom. But I am a rational man. I know it’s impossible. I mean … No howl could get inside my house - that wouldn’t made sense . And never, never they could survive in a big city like here. Oh Gods how I can be so exhausted. I truly wanted to sleep yesterday, I swear ! But it was just like if the other wanted me awake. At least, it’s what seem the more logical to me… That they want to stop me of resting so I get even more careless and repeat my mistake error back in the bathroom. They want me to let my guard down once again so they could get closer.

But it won’t happen, I am too well organised for it. I have a very strict program to give me some release. First, I go to the office where I gave myself a short nap of 20 minutes. And another one before lunch and after. Last one is just before I get back here. 

But, no need to be worried, I only allow it because I know fairly well they couldn’t dare to do something there, with so many witnesses around. I took those measures after my fourth sleepless night in a row, knowing I can’t skip sleep forever. 

On the other hand, I believe the other is getting reckless, and isn’t as careful anymore. For example, my secretary found one of their hiding spots behind a couch, in a recess of the wall. She notified it to me immediately, worried at the idea of someone living there, under our noses. And I believe I never got so relieved : unwittingly, she just confirmed that this whole situation was real, not my mind playing tricks on me. Confirmed because I obviously doubted myself on this, like if all of it was just a simple delirium from my sick mind. Except that visibly, the other is real, there is truly someone who has been observing me all this time.”

Tim’s lips pulled into a tiny smile, facing the window, a book on his laps. The lights of the city against the night sky calming him, proof of life following his course, even while his own was falling apart. Just like it did when all his friends died in a car accident, Tim losing his childhood friends, his best friends and boyfriend all at once, feeling like his life stopped with them. But it didn’t and kept his own flow, rhythm, still running by, along with time. Just like it did when another car accident took, this time, his family , brother,sister and father, leaving Tim with no reason to live. But he did, because life doesn’t stop for someone’s end. And Tim’s life still kept running without his consent or concern, even with all this pain and sorrow. He shut his eyes tightly, savoring both the burning tears and the dim light. 

He thought he heard a movement, like the flapping of wings, a flow of air coming across his face. He opened his eyes abruptly and, in the same moment, with a swift movement, swung at the bird’s head with his book.

The beast emitted a distressed sound, and flopped a little down, his flight shaky. It disappeared in the corridor, and Tim heard a dull sound, notifying him of his fall. He then rushed there, in the darkness of the corridor, despite his head feeling light and nausea filled him after this too quick movement. He lit up the hall and discovered the bird. The poor beast had broken his skull on a door, misoriented by Tim’s strick.

The man grabbed it by his hook and studied it for a long time, oscillating between terror and dismay … Tim had just killed an owl.

*************************

“ Someone slept in my bed this night. I know it because when I was changing, I noticed my sheet were undone… Also, I could still see the shape of their body they left. And it was still warm.

I know it might sound dumb, but I think… I believe they might have been… I don’t know, less active ? I’m not sure but I feel like recently their presence seemed less and less strong, as if they weren’t there anymore.

At least, the night, I don’t hear them anymore. I don’t see them. I just don’t feel them. Of course, during the day, the situation is worse. They follow me everywhere, it’s usual, but now they are harassing me, calling me at my office, or even sometimes on my phones, both work and personal. Most of the time, they doesn’t talk, just stay on line, breathing heavily. Except on a few occasions were they talked, whispering me all the things they wanted to do to me, horrors and nightmares, explaining the reason of their obsessions. How much they desire to touch me, to smell me, taste me.

Sometimes, I’m the one doing the talking. I beg, I yell and scream, throwing tantrum, or I cry, always asking for the same thing : to stop, whatever this is. I even cursed them once.

And, two days ago, I stopped mid-sentences, having lost my train of thought. A silence had planned on the line, for a few long seconds … Before they whispered “ talk to me”. I hang up. I hang up terrified, sure of having done another fatal error. Never had we tried to discuss together and I was fine with this “way”. It was one listening and the other talking. It was an unspoken rule and they broke it. Since, I make sure to have my secretary answer the phone first.

While I am at this, she seems more and more worried. She won’t stop telling me how I should take better care of myself, especially with my past. The worst is that I don’t even have any idea of what ‘past’ she is referring to… I mean, sure, I had some rough times, lost many, many beloved people… But how is that related to taking care of myself ? 

Anyways, back again about the other, they seems less and less worried of being caught. For example, only this weeks, they came to my office three times. Three times of them announcing themselves as my brother. Them waiting for me in the entrance. Three times of me yelling at my secretary I wouldn’t get out of my office. That my poor brother was dead ! Dead. Dead … And each time I had a mental breakdown right after it. I can’t continue like this anymore. I am too tired, too exhausted, so done.”

Tim kept cutting in rhythm his vegetables, eyes hypnotised by the blade. He was so lost, in his thoughts, in his life, in this life. The bags under his eyes were a darkish shade of purple, like bruises, proof of too many sleepless nights. Tics were movings his eyelids, as well as his mouth,  in random moments.

Tim had always been pale, but at this point, it would have been more correct to say his skin was transparent. Only his eyes stayed the same than before this downfall. They stayed clear, with no redness or blood injected troubling the pure white surrounding a soft sky blue iris and then darkness in there center. 

He finally was done with his vegetables, throwing them in a pan and got back to sitting on the bar, observing his apartment. Most of it was surrounded by the darkness but he was okay with that. There wasn’t a sound. Not even one, as if the other was gone. But Tim knew better : they were somewhere near, scrutinizing him and every movement he dared do. 

His head wouldn’t stop nodding up and down, he was scared and exhausted. Exhausted of living with this terror and stress. Terrified of letting himself relax. Exhausted of having the pictures of his deceased friends always imposed into his memory. 

Tim didn’t want to think of them. It was easier to act as if nothing happened. And truly, in some of his memory it was just like it. After all, he didn’t remember the funeral for any of them, as if just never happend or Tim just wasn’t there. Same for his family.

Tim sighed once more and stretched toward the coffee pot. He wasn’t ready to sleep.

****************************

“ I am scared you know. I mean, I don’t know what to do, how to get out of this situation.

Every body, well, the few people that I see regularly, kept saying how I look so sick, so broken, and I should be more careful because of my accident. I’m not even sure to know what ‘accident’ they are referring too. Also, my secretary kept complaining I drink too much coffee for my own good and how angry would be my doctor, who doesn’t like me taking stimulants, because it stress my organs too much. And there too I don’t get the reference, like if it was some inside joke they all share… Whatever.

All that I know is that she seems more and more weirder these days, suspicious. Like she was stressed, anxious , like if she had some kind of secret concerning me. Or maybe like she had remorse… But I don’t see what she could hide from me.

Except if she was … pairing up with the other? That would be as surprising than horrifying. But I don’t think it’s the case. She just must be worried about her own life, or maybe about me. She is just such a nice girl, she can’t be that bad.

Anyways, I’m happy that I talked to you… You’re always here, such a good listener, I love you so much Cassandra.”

Tim fell silent and listened. Listened to the waiting tone dialling over and over, in the void. The only sound was his breath reverberating through the phone, coming back distorted to his ears. His sister didn’t pick up.

It wasn’t so surprising, he already knew it. After all, she simply couldn’t, being dead for almost 4 years already. Nevermore will she answer and talk with him, calming him, recomforting him… No, nevermore.

Tim put his head in his arms,  face turned toward the bay window. It was late, but the young man hadn’t found enough courage to come home. He might just stay right here until the next morning. The light of the city downward were the only source of luminosity, so small with Tim was so high up here. He liked this idea, that he wasn’t with them, detached of this world he didn’t wanted to belong to. All this activity will he was up there slowly falling asleep, the light lulling him. 

He needed to be detached, away from anyone. He already lost everything, so it could be so easy to die now. That’s why he wanted nobody around him, not wanting anymore string to this world, to get hurt or hurt. And only when he will be fully alone, only then, Tim wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

The dim light kept him in this state, half asleep, and then, slightly out, fully asleep. The exhaustion and lack of sleep had reason of him.

And, while Tim’s eyes moved erratically under his eyelid, only then, he dared to enter his office. He took cautious step toward the sleeping man and kneeled next to the desk. His gaze fixed on Tim’s inky hair hiding his face away. The man took off the coffee mug sitting next to Tim, throwing it away in the toilet, cleaning it roughly. Then he got back to his previous spot, kneeling next to his protégé. 

He stayed right here, crouched against the desk, caressing Tim’s hair softly, lovingly. The younger man seemed to relax against the touch, falling deeper into sleep. They stayed in this positions for hours, until the first light of dawn appeared. It seemed to motivate him to get up, going to the bathroom to put fresh water in the mug. He then placed it next to a deeply asleep Tim. The young man had finally got his deserved full night of sleep, but his worried and exhausted expression was still present on his features. 

The stranger, the intruder, sighed softly and bent down, kissing kindly Tim’s forehead. And,with his hand still on the younger’s one, he scribbled a little note for him. He then kissed him a last time. And left.

He rushed through the stairs to go meet her, waiting at the escape for her. She arrived late, but she always did. They only briefly spoke, him hurrying her, but still thanking her warmly. He had needed to see Tim. Needed. She proposed that they go for a breakfast, or maybe to meet again for lunch. He declined, but told her how thankful he was. After all, she let him get into the building and covered him. He left quickly, and she got upstairs.

It was her job to be here early, her boss was always one of the first one in the office. She snuck a glance into his office, saw that he was still fully asleep and got back to her desk. Two hours later, she heard a scream, an ugly one, full of panic and fear. It was coming from her boss office, proof he finally awoke. It was quickly followed by the sound of glass shattering, a mug crashing down, swatted to the ground. She sighed. Tim was awake. 

He indeed was up, acting as if the devil was on his heels, tripping on his own feet. He looked terrified, a little bit crazy and so pitiful, with his big blue eyes full of suppressed tears. It saddened her, knowing she was a little guilty of his state.

Tim left sobbing, without a word, shaking.

His secretary looked at him go, worried of feeling no guilt. Ô the things she was able to do for handsome face…

*****************************

“ You were there. You took advantage of my state, of my weakness. Of me falling asleep. You took advantage of it to come once again torment me, haunt me. To touch me… To violate my space, my life. 

I don’t know what you want of me, from me. But I do know you are a monster, a psychopath. A maniac ! You follow me, watch me. You ruin my life. I just want to end it, end everything, end it all. I need to find a way to stop all of it, no matter the consequences. 

And what about this note ! Why would you even left me one ? “ Even if you don’t want to see me, I will always be by your side”. Bullshit ! What does you even wanted by that ? 

It’s terrible. I feel like I am losing myself, reality beginning to mix with nightmares and visions. I’m going crazy. I’m drowning, I can’t breath, live… I’m drowning in fear, panic, lack of sleep, irrationality.

It’s been fifteen days that I hadn’t been back to my office. Not since you … That you… Since…

Fuck ! STOP IT ! RIGHT NOW ! I can’t , I can’t do it anymore. I wanna die ! I’m done with all of this, the people, the worlds, them, you … with myself too. I just cry all day … And that’s it. I do nothing, I can’t anymore. I’m stuck here, and sick of it. I don’t even dare to get out, I’m so scared to see you. To see the dead. To see all of these who will disappear, and those who already had. I’m so sick of not being able to distinguish between lie and reality. I can’t go out anymore.

I’m stuck. I’m stuck in this place and in my head. I’m stuck. With me. With me and you. You.. I… You must leave. You have to stop. I can’t keep doing this for much longer. I have already lost my mind and sanity. Aren’t you satisfied ? When will you stop tormenting me ! To force me to remember. Ignorance is such bliss….”

Tim ended whispering, adrenaline and anger disappearing until all that was left was his loneliness, abandoned. 

He blinked quickly, trying to stop the tears from flowing, even if they already were sliding down his cheeks. And Tim was left alone to weep. Soundlessly. In the dark. Laying on his back, in his bed. Arms hugging himself. He cried.

On his arms, spot color of the sky range. The young man didn’t even remember hurting himself, but those bruises weren’t real for him. They didn’t mattered. He was lost, a lost cause, forsaken. Day and night were becoming one, an indistinct temporal mass. Sometimes he’d find himself in room without any memory of going there, or why. He caught himself multiple time doing round of the rooms, knocking against flat surface, looking under furniture … Searching for someone - or something - hidden away reflex as archaic than childish.

And everytime Tim caught himself doing this, he froze, aware of having close to no control of his own actions. And each time the hours had gone from 2 to 10, without him remembering, losing track of it, it worried him even more. One day, he even found himself covered in spiderwebs and dust, without knowing how or where he got himself this dirty. 

He was unstable, incapable of reconstruct his days. But he still knew the howls were watching him with their fluorescents eyes. He knew he couldn’t go in the bathroom, fearing to catch the reflection of the other in the mirror, behind him. He knew he shouldn’t get to close of the bay glass, the dead waiting for him on the balcony.

So Tim cried even more, almost hoping the other would talk, or even breath, right against him. But there wasn’t any noises. No  movement. No reaction. The other was gone.

Tim’s felt his throat tighten. Abandon. Once again. Poor Timmy, dumb little Timmy would be left alone. He curled on himself and waited, awake, for the morning to happen.

The other breath reappeared close to 6am.

******************************

“ I couldn’t find my way back. Well, not surprising, I didn’t come here that much, sorry. The gardener helped me, he even told me how to get to my family’s tomb next.

I don’t know why I am here. There isn’t really any valid reason for it, I just felt the need to… It never happened before. 

I… Well.. You… Oh gods, I’m blushing now, all of this is absolutely ridiculous. I’m absolutely mortified of never coming to see you by my own will. Of trying to erase you from my life, to forget you for real. You are a whole part of my life. My childhood, my teenage year and the beginning of my adult life.

There is someone, something, who want me to remember you, or at least to think of the dead. For it, they keep me from sleeping, follow me and call for me in the street. Try to usurp the identity of someone they can’t be. Call me to talk about you. Force me to remember.

And the only positive aspect of this whole situation is me finally reconciling myself with my past, and with you all, guys.

I must go, I still have to see my family. I just wanted to say sorry and remember you - and myself - of how much I love you all.

Goodbye.”

Tim felt his voice shaking, tears running down his face, while he disposed flowers in front of the memorial, dedicated to all his friends. To his childhood friends. To his best friend. To his boyfriend. To the dead and the ghost of his childhood.

He stroked the plaque with their name and walked away. He had quite a hard time finding his family’s graves, but maybe he needed this time to prepare himself for it. Because it was going to be ugly and he knew it very well. 

He indeed broke down in tears when he finally got in front of them, ugly sobbing for quite a long time, until it calmed a little. Tim never felt that pathetic, that pitiful, fragile. Then, word began to fall from his mouth, rain of apologies, remorse and regrets, flooding in an impetus flow. Tim didn’t bothered to stop it. And, when he was done, he felt a feeling of relief flood through his mind. He finally talked to the dead.

Tim began to lay a flower for each of them. 

“To Bruce, beloved father and friend. He protected and loved the out cast”. A bouquet of lys.

“To Cassandra, beloved sister and daughter. She lived without regrets or remorse.”. A Camelia’s bouquet.

“To Tim. Son and bother. Other died so he lived”.

He froze. It was wrong. On the third tomb should had been Damian’s name. Not Tim’s. NOT HIS !

In full panic, he threw himself on his knees, finger deciphering the words. It indeed wasn’t his name. Neither it was Damian’s. It was someone else’s, a stranger stele.

Tim straightened and finally saw him. His dead father. He seemed younger. He seemed alive. He seemed surprised of seeing him. And while Bruce took a step toward him, hands stretching to grasp Tim, this one ran.

He didn’t slow down for the two hours ride it took to get back to his apartment, focused on the road. It’s only when his door locked behind him that he collapsed, hands clasped around his heads, screaming behind the closed door.

*****************

“ I shouldn’t have come back. It’s dumb, I didn’t even wanted to. But, well, turns out I am here. And likely you didn’t expected me. You thought I would disappear, or worse, be cast out. You thought I would just be abandoned … And that you would win, and that without me being even aware of us playing against each other.

But, sweetie, you are way too stupid to beat me. I always had been greatest at this kind of game, I’m not a quitter and I have stamina… You are so dumb you didn’t even noticed you were only a mere pawn… Brainless secretary.

Although, I hadn’t been this efficient either. After all, I was dumb enough to trust you and never doubt you… That was as stupid as your action. Anyway, it won’t change the fact they lost. They aren’t aware of it right now, but they have lost. No matter what they are to you. No matter what I might be for them. No matter what they think they are to me. I’m going to end this sick game. And I will make sure you will suffer the consequences. Or just suffer. I will make sure you won’t be able of closing your eyes without doubting of being able to open them once again. I wish, almost wish, you will die, so I won’t have to see your face ever again. But, Jessica, I won’t do it… After all, you are my secretary …

I will be the first suspect of your murder. But I still need you to suffer. To suffer as much I did those 4 last months. I want you to fall on this hellscape like I just did.

But don’t worry, I will catch this son of a bitch and make him regret his fucking fixation. I’m not an object, I’m not breakable. I’m not malleable. And I’m not fucking rational ! NOT ANYMORE !

So now, you will be a good girl and tell me who employed you. Who you helped to play me this ‘trick’. Tell me so I can end it for real with them. SO … WHO. IS. IT. WHO ?”

Jessica began to cry once again in front of Tim. She was unable to articulate two coherent words and it only pissed off the man more. He threw suddenly his coffee mug through the room, sending it to shatter on the opposite wall,  missing Jessica. She curled on herself, yelling even more.

Tim massaged his head, feeling a headache coming. She should shut up soon or he will lose the poor self control he maintain. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. No, Tim won’t hit here. No, he won’t lose control. No, he didn’t tried to aim the mug at her. You must understand Jessica, the poor man is exhausted, so stressed. He just lost a little his calm but he is better now. He just needed to know who left the note signed by his brother. And after, he could rest. After he would be better, calmer, and will finally stop yelling at her. Maybe he wouldn’t even take her to the justice… He just needed a name Jessica, just a name.

But the secretary wouldn’t talk, keeping her mouth sealed, mute if excepted the sob. So Tim sighed. He couldn’t do it, he didn’t know what to do. Maybe he wasn’t awake enough to think straight… Maybe he needed a nap… Or a coffee, yeah, that sounded about right ! After he could handle in a better way this whole situation !

He stopped only when he registered Jessica giggles, horribly distorted and ugly in her rattle voice. She never had a pretty laugh, more a travesty of one, something sounding like a cackling. No, Jessica never had a nice laugh and this one wasn’t an exception. Tim realized she wasn’t even trying to hide the truth now, because she believed she had the upperhand in this. That she was smarter, than him, than them. 

She explained everything, proudly, sure of having outsmarted both of them, tears turning into a smug grin. Yes, she helped them to find Tim. Yes, thanks to her, they got Tim’s address. Yes, she was also the one who helped them to sneak in the office. Yes, yes , yes she was the one who made it all. All of this… And who could blame her ? It wasn’t her fault, oh no no no. It was Tim’s fault. He caused this whole situation all by himself. After all, it was him who drank too much coffee for his own good… Or refused to go see a doctor … Who denied the simple existence of his accidents and their sequelae. It was Tim who had stopped to even try to sleep, live and eat !

And, indeed, she started to do all of this for him. She really wanted to help you, Timmy, you know ? To help you get out of this whole paranoia spiral thing, this psychosis he had. So she called them, revealing him where Tim’s place were.

And, at one point, quite quickly actually, it wasn’t about Tim anymore, but about herself. The other was gorgeous. They were desperate. They were heart broken,weakened by Tim’s rejection. So, yeah, at one point it wasn’t for Tim at all, she switched camps, she was there to help the other. They needed affection so badly, craved it, and Jessica was the solution. Her objective had become to have him for herself, maybe even get rid of Tim, never mind of him. She wanted them in her bed, in her arms.

Today, she reached her goal, almost there. The other would give up soon. And for Tim, given his state, it was only a matter of time before he mess up, make an - another - error, which would either get him to a psychiatrist hospital, or to the tomb.

Jessica almost have her date, almost, she was so close to it. The other promised her a dinner for after he got a chance to talk to Tim. Both of them were so close to their goal.

And that, Tim just realized it. She had almost reached it, at least it’s what the other made her believe. They had baited her with a promise of a pseudo relationship, in exchange for him. His stupid secretary had sold him for a one night hook up. Apparently he wasn’t worth much more.

To be fair, she was just plainly lying to herself, at what point sending a stalker after Tim was for his so called “ well being” ? Did she truly believe they would heal him of his paranoia by spying on him !

She was crazy. Jessica had lost her goddamn mind… She had sent him a stalker … A STALKER ! And she HELPED them !

So Tim did what he did best : he panicked. Once again. She betrayed him, she knew everything about him and she sold him… And what would have happened if Tim hadn’t confrontate her ? Jessica would have let the other go to the end of his fantasy, even if it mean mean Tim’s death ?

Then, Jessica made another error. One of too many. She announced point blank to Tim how she invited the other to catch up with them here. In Tim’s own office, with the whole building being empty… But she reassured him, no need to worry, they just wanted to talk, and once it will be done, she will finally have her date with them. And no, Tim hadn’t a word to say about them coming here, it was already engaged, too late to back up. He was just so lucky to have such a handsome brother.

It finally clicked on Tim’s overwhelmed mind. Of course ! She had believed them ! She fell into their trap like the idiot she has always had been… Jessica believed they were related to Tim, but it couldn’t be possible in anyways. Because Damian and Cass, his only siblings were dead.

He got up quickly, realizing they were going to show up soon. Tim needed to get out of here or he’d be a dead man when they arrived. Jessica reacted quickly, displeasure at Tim’s attempts to ruin her chances of that date clear on her face. Given Tim’s manic and sleep deprived state, it wasn’t hard, catching him by the collar and pulling him back before he could make it to the door.

It might be because she was way taller than Tim, or because the young man was in such a bad state that Jessica believed she could overpower him. She just ignored how much caffeine was currently pumping through Tim’s vein, how much adrenalin fear could release in a body, how much strength this broken Tim had. 

Jessica just had time to pull on his arms that he punched her in the stomach, before knocking her down. His head was full of noise, of fear, he didn’t have time for this, he didn’t have enough time, he couldn’t … He hasn’t… She shouldn’t … She grabbed his legs; pulling hard and he lost it again. He lost his train of thought. He lost control. Tim tried to free his legs, he had to go and when he saw it wasn’t working, he just grabbed a chair next to him and began to hit her repeatedly. He hit her, over and over, until she curled on herself, letting go of his pants. 

Jessica was fine, she was fine, it was mostly bruises, maybe a broken ribs, Tim repeated himself while he hurtled down the stairs. After all she deserved it, she was going to be fine, just fine, he didn’t have enough strength to hurt her too badly. He kept saying it over and over, while sprinting through the darks alleys, alone, odd mirage in the night. He kept himself to think how close he had been to be caught by them until he locked the door behind him.

Less than five minutes after his escape, a silhouette would lean over Jessica, before calling 911.

********************

“ I know you don’t wish to see me or hear from me. But I need to tell you something. You don’t have to answer, or even to believe me… Please, just listen for once. And I want you to know I respected your privacy until now, I never came here because I never thought you needed help that much. But right now you didn’t leave me any choice. I hoped, truly, you would get better without me having to step in the picture, but turns out I had been wrong, the events of this afternoon talk for themselves I think.

This time, I’m not here to tell you how much I miss you, neither of how much I need you in my life, by my side. No, I’m here to help you get a grip on yourself. You can’t keep acting like you do, you are putting yourself in danger. You make yourself sick.

No, please, I hear you moving, don’t go… I’m begging you, just listen to me until the end. And when I’ll be done, you can call the cops on me if you want…

Let’s just go back to the beginning… Six years ago, you and all your friends, your childhood friends, planned a trip to celebrate the end of your classes. And, at the last moment, you call in sick and stayed home, confined to bed. 

The bus they had rented might have been a problem, or maybe something else happened … But what we knew, is that they had an accident. And nobody survived. This day, you lost your boyfriend, your best friend, and all your other friends, all at once. It pushed you into depression, which lasted over more than a year…

And two years after, you were doing better, so much better. We thought you had finally accepted it…

Then, Bruce and Cassandra - your dad and sister - had decided to go to the Opera. You had gone all three of you, your whole family minus Damian, your brother. You had an accident, another accident in your life. It was such a stupid one, a drunk driver who collided with your car. The driver died under the shock of the impact, so did Cassandra. Bruce was declared deceased during the hospital ride. You, fell into a deep coma.

Your family got buried when you were still unconscious, you stayed in this state for at least three months.

And, when you finally woke up, you were alone. All alone. They were dead. Your friends. Your family. Dead… Only you were left… And your brother Damian.

So, you can guess what had been my surprise when Jessica contacted me, making me discover an … Interesting fact. Damian was dead. Well, it’s what you had said to everyone you knew. It’s what you convince yourself of. That Damian had a car accident, with your family, and that he died in his coma.

It’s false. And I believe you aren’t even aware of being wrong. Damian is alive. Your brother is alive.

And, even if unconsciously, you prefer to believe he died, so you could detach yourself definitively of everything you loved, I know it wasn’t deliberate.

I can accept you not wanting to believe I am Damian. After all, I had already accepted to stop contacting you like you begged me last time. But, your current health worried me too much to kept myself from staying away from you. So please, I’m begging you, Tim, open up…”

The other voice was hesitant, pleading. Tim was still curled in a nook of the wall. In a cache. His cache.

On the floor, surrounding him, lied dozen of papers. Birth certificate. Death certificate. Press articles. Hospitals bills. And, in the center, nothing, if it is the lack of one death certificate. Damian’s one.

Tim had indeed come to this conclusion. Damian was alive. Damian hadn’t abandon him. So why ? Why was he dead in his mind ?

And, if the other, this person who had been in his office, who tried to contact him… Was really Damian ? Then, did that mean, that this “other” was never in his apartment ? That all along, it had been … him ? Tim ...

It would explain why Tim found himself so many times in the hidden places, without knowing how he found them. Would it be why he never could prove he wasn’t alone… Why he lost the course of the time … Could he be the other ?

Tim curled even more on himself, and sobbed. The other on the other side of the door began to pound on it, imploring Tim to open it, to let them console him.

Tim was slowly being aware of losing touch. But he didn’t wanted  to, no, he couldn’t lose control once again and being what he feared for so many months. He had to pull himself together. Right now. He began to bang his head against the wall, the pain keeping him aware.

He got up, slowly and began to walk to the kitchen, shaking like a leaf. He had two choices … To pour himself another cup of coffee… Or to go open to the man who identified as his brother. The one who begged him to open.

And … Suddenly. Black.

Tim regain consciousness of the reality shortly after. The pain was trashing up his brain. He still registered the bloody knife and his forearms open and dripping of scarlet.

Tim yelled, screamed, in full panic mode and run straight to the door. His hands were slippery, but he still succeed to open the door. He then came to a stop, astonished by the vision, right in front of him. His surprise was mirrored by a younger Bruce, with a desperate look in his eyes. 

The man then took him in his arms, pulling him close. Tim tried to breath, to stay awake and recognised the smell of the man : Damian. Damian.

“ Oh please, please, Dami… Don’t left me alone. I don’t wanna die ! I don’t want it anymore !”

And, with Tim weeping in his arms, Damian called 911, for the second time in a few hours. He then kept his brother right against him, whispering sweet words and praise. About how much he loved him. About how much he missed him. How he would never again left him alone.

Damian was crying too. His brother was sick. His brother had cut his veins open. His brother was dying once again.

Tim lost consciousness little time before the ambulance arrived.

****************************

While Tim lying unconscious in Damian’s arms, who kept talking to his brother, the dark figure changed of hiding spot, trying to get a little closer to Tim and his brother.

They heard Damian trying to explain to his brother about Jessica and how she would be alright, with no long term complication and with no complaints. That he made sure she wouldn’t approach them anymore. After all, she was crazier than Tim was.

And the third man keep waiting, in the shadow, boiling rage pooling in his stomach. He should be the one touching Tim, he was his protégé… HIS Tim. But he waited, he was patient enough for it. He knew that one way or another, Tim would be his… Soon enough.

So he watched silently Tim go with the paramedics, and with a terrified Damian. And when everybody was gone, when he was sure of it, he got out of his hiding spot.

He stretched, slowly, cat like and find his way to the kitchen. He casually grabbed the knife, and cleaned it, as well as every blood spot. 

Tim had almost caught him, the young man knew he was there. He was aware of Tim being intelligent, but had underestimated him. He sighed of satisfaction : he was truly captivating. Even if Ra's has been stalking him for quite a long time, he never got tired of it. 

How could he got bored of watching the man sink into worse and worse desilusion. His pretty Tim had first developed an addiction to coffee, then a sudden partial amnesia, quite selective actually, and a compulsive need to stay awake. And the big final one : a second personality !

Ra's guessed it was the lack of sleep who created this split : after all, everytime Tim loose control, letting another facet out, he persisted to take pillows and blankets to make nest, like if his only goals was to get ready for sleep.

Ra's smiled, deep in his thoughts, smelling Tim’s clothes, smelling him. Yes, Ra's was quite pleased of the turning of the events. Tim’s other facet would cover him. Nobody would believe someone, a stranger, had lived hidden in the apartment … 

At worst, they would believe Damian’s presence had triggered Tim to believe so. If only Damian hasn’t came here, had let Tim sink just a little bit more, Ra's would finally had the boy for himself. To take him away with him, somewhere nobody could find Tim. 

Sadly, he would have to wait. Damian was the brother, he had more right to have Tim. Ra's was just a stalker, a nobody. 

They were two to lust after Tim … And Damian had currently won him… But it’s alright, Ra’s is patient.

“ I knew I would find you here Ra's. We need to talk.”

Damian deep voice rumbled in his back. Ra's sighed.

[kwispayne]

The Top 10 Albums Of 2019

This year for music was spectacular. One of the better in a while. Usually I do a mini list of albums that were the worst that I don't release, but even the bad albums this year were just a bit bland or misguided (although this is from what I've heard, I know there is mountains of bad music out there). This year's top 10 is very much a list of artists who I have enjoyed or who was aware of who just completely laid out their A game. Some of these guys have been in my lists before and have barely scraped the top and this year they have just pushed their way in or completely floored me. Choosing this years list was hard as there are a lot of honorable mentions. You'll have to ask me which ones they are yourself.

Now before I go on I must explain that…

1. Yes, this is very biased, off course.

2. I haven’t listened to most great stuff which has came out this year. In fact, I have alot of CDs and stuff I still need to listen to, so this is of what I’ve heard so far. I really don’t have time to listen to alot of music and stuff at the moment.

3. All recommendations would be helpful for stuff that I should have listened to or reconsidered.

10. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Infest The Rats Nest

Genres: Thrash, Progressive Rock, Progressive Metal, Stoner Metal

Country of origin: Australia

For some strange reason I have kept these guys off my radar for a long time. I do not know how or why. These guys literally are for me. A group of crazy Australians who change their genre willy nilly and have experimented with some of my favorite sounds. So this year I decided to buy their first album for this year Fishing For Fishies (not in this list, but an honorable mention), a glam rock psych folk freak out. And then for them to turn around and release a progressive thrash metal concept album about sci fi and the environment...it just confused and intrigued me. The production on this album is one of my favorite little quirks. With less focus on modern compression, there's a very retro late 70's sound added to the early 80's thrash metal vibe, and it works perfectly. I'm also really impressed at Stu Mackenzie's ability to adopt a gruff thrash timbre when comparing to the voice he uses for their lighter material. Lyrically they have also been able to add a great niche to the eco metal trend, being not afraid to be honest with a good sense of satire and imagination.

9. Devin Townsend - Empath

Genres: Progressive Metal, Progressive Rock, Extreme Metal, Experimental Rock, Art Rock, Djent, Comedy

Country of origin: Canada

This proves how great this year is. Usually Devin gets a higher position, and while I have preferred his most recent material to this album, this is still an exceptional piece of work. Having disbanded the Devin Townsend Project, Devin decided to really take his sound and expand it to heights he hasn't been fully to achieve within the context of a band. With orchestras, choirs and harder compositions, Devin is the perfect example of an individual who under the stress of having too many big ideas, that he's able to create a piece of art and come out alive and well at the other end. Lyrically again we see Devin constantly seeking balance in the difficult world we live in, and as always Devin's approach to this is almost childlike, to the point where he even has a narrator reading out parts of what seems to be a children's story. Epic, grandiose, heavy, groovy and incredibly successful at pulling on the audience and the performers heartstrings.

8. Periphery - Periphery IV: Hail Stan

Genres: Djent, Progressive Metal, Extreme Metal, Experimental Rock, Pop Rock

Country of origin: USA

For a few years Periphery have always been on my radar and I have enjoyed a lot of their music, but as an albums band they have never really blown me away (the closest they got was Juggernaut: Alpha). But they are back again with their heaviest and most powerful album to date. I remember reading an interview with one of their old producers who claimed that these guys are their own worst enemies because they are obsessed with following their own path without the help of others and I'm glad that on this album they have stuck to their guns from what they've been building on for the past few years because it has all finally paid off. Musically brilliant as always, the real shining moment has to be Spencer Sotelo's vocals and lyrics. The range this guy has, from cleans, screams and growls, it really covers the full gamut of a metal vocalist. I think if this career doesn't work, he definitely could be an easy replacement for Chester Bennington from Linkin Park. I'm glad to finally have these guys in my top 10 lists, proving that djent isn't just a meme and can produce some great art.

7. Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

Genres: Pop, Art Pop, Experimental Rock, Electronic

Country of origin: USA

This was an artist I really didn't see to blow up as big as she did. Whenever she was originally presented to me, I thought she would be massive in the indie world with a potential for crossover. But wow, this really has been her year. I think the hype around this album is as true as it could get, but I'd like to think I get a little bit more our of her music as most people would. Being a big fan of artists like Björk & Imogen Heap, I thought this would be a lot more like a modern version of what they are doing, but she definitely will be the next big thing over the next few years. Production wise, this album is in a complete league of its own. In many ways its very quiet, but the quietness of it very much adds to a certain level of dangerous. In many ways you could say the effect of her music is a bit like an electronic version of Pixies. The song writing and lyrics on this album are fantastic and really are impressive as this whole album is very much just an experiment between 2 siblings. Billie's vocals too are also very unique. In many ways she is like a less dynamic Björk, where she has this childlike quietness, but unlike Björk, she has an added sinister undertone. Worth the hype and whatever she comes out with next will interest me.

6. Bring Me The Horizon - Amo

Genres: Pop, Hard Rock, Art Pop, Post Hardcore, Electronic, Experimental Rock

Country of origin: England

3 years ago, these guys were able to slowly morph their way into a poppy sound, but keep the angst and metallic vibes they were presenting years previously. Now on this album, they have very much gone full force into the pop world. Now, in many ways this could be seen as a band selling out, but with Bring Me The Horizon it very much isn't, because the version of pop that they have decided to enter into, isn't very much a cash grab. Instead, the band have experimented with a murkier electronic tone and whenever the album moves into more radio friendly stuff, they are seen experimenting with indie electronic artist's like Grimes, beatboxer Rahzel and even Dani Filth from Cradle Of Filth. Bring Me The Horizon in my opinion now are part of what I believe to be a new level of artist (along with other artists like Enter Shikari or Jamie Lenman), where genre lables are unimportant, but sound is very much a focus. Lyrically also, the band deals with some some rather unpoppy subject matter, so I can't see these guys going down the Take That road just yet. In my opinion this is their greatest work, and I'm hopefully for whatever they decide to experiment with next.

5. The Claypool Lennon Delirium - South Of Reality

Genres: Progressive Rock, Psychedelic Rock, Experimental Rock, Comedy, Art Rock

Country of origin: USA

I am so glad that this wasn't a one time thing. A few years ago, this album was also able to find a place in my top 10, and I'm glad that they're 2nd album is even better. Musically as always, Les Claypool's bass playing is out of this world, but Sean Lennon has to be one of the most underrated guitar players out there. While their first album was very much a very well crafted experiment, this album is a tiny bit maturer, with a great focus on the songwriting and clearer production. Lyrically the album is very much full of humor or odd stories, but overall they add to the psychedelic sound (Like Flea's though is a great piece of environmental satire). In many ways, choosing this album to be in my top list is mainly just to confirm bias, because the sound these guys make is very much just a box tick list of sounds I like.

4. Vampire Weekend - Father Of The Bride

Genres: Pop, Indie Rock, Experimental Rock, Adult Contemporary, Hipster

Country of origin: USA

I have been a fan of these guys for a long time now, and while they've never made I've been unhappy with this, I do believe this album to be their masterpiece. The quirkiness of these guys is still very much an important part of their sound but the best quality of this album would have to be a bigger and better focus on the songwriting. At times this album is very much a bow down to the past, but at times the production can change to a more modern and experimental feel, with the added flourishes of vocoder and electronics. In many ways you could say that the band have successfully been able to make a millennial album for boomers. But jokes aside, the songwriting quality, the catchiness of the material and the surprisingly at times complex song structures and musicianship make this album and Vampire Weekend a band that sticks out in both the popular and indie sides of music.

3. Motorpsycho -The Crucible

Genres: Progressive Rock, Psychedelic Rock, Heavy Prog, Hard Rock, Stoner Metal, Experimental Rock

Country of origin: Norway

Each year these guys make an album, they always just scrape the barrel to be left off my top 10. I always feel back about leaving these guys off, because these guys really are one of the best prog bands out there. The best way I can describe this album is that it's like a modern version of Yes' Close To The Edge...but in reverse. This time around, the band only have 3 tracks, with them all being within the 8-20 minute mark. But each one is very much a different mood or mindset, moving from epic suites, crushing riffs, beautiful crescendos and insane freak out sections. I also love how vocally imperfect the guys in this band can be. They sometimes tackle things outside their range, but it's done in a way which adds to the emotional impact of the music that they're making. In my opinion this is their masterpiece but it also keeps me excited for whatever project they next have in store for us.

2. Neal Morse - Jesus Christ: The Exorcist

Genres: Progressive Rock, Hard Rock, Musical, Christian Rock

Country of origin: USA

I have been a Neal Morse fan for over 10 years now. Even after his exit from Spock's Beard, I have always followed his career, from his prog rock carefree to his Jesus loving aftermath. Now, to be honest, when I first heard about this project...I thought it was a joke. The title...come on...Jesus Christ and The Exorcist. But, it's not a joke at all. In fact it might be the greatest piece of work Neal has done. Apparently this project has been a few years in the works, and I'm glad that Neal has graced us with the release of the music itself. In many ways you could say that musically it is Neal by numbers, but it is a genuinely well crafted musical that I hope Broadway or the West End can snap up, because there is a wide audience for this (I'm not religious, but I can jam to this message). The voice cast he assembled for the recordings is great too, but the real fan boy moment was being able to get all 3 vocalists who have been in Spock's Beard, and in one song even to get them all to sing. The smile I still have stuck to my face from listening to this is not an easy one to get rid off.

1. Elbow - Giant Of All Sizes

Genres: Pop Rock, Progressive Rock, Indie Rock, Experimental Rock

Country of origin: England

England have won again for creating an artist which takes the top spot of my favorite album of the year. Now Elbow have been on my lists before, but I definitely think they are band who is getting better and better, and this album only proves it, as I think this is very much their greatest work. While they're previous 2 releases saw the band experimenting with different sounds, this album in many ways is a mire grander and experimental album with a conceptual feel. One of the elements that has always drawn me to this band is how in tune they all are musicians, made especially focused on this album. Production wise it is pretty much clear and crisp, but there is the odd experiment heard throughout. One of the best elements of this album is that it is very epic in scope, but behind it there is a a raw heart to it, which very well bodes to the concept which I perceive to be a working class emotion to the chaotic times that we live in. Guy Garvey's vocals and projection of his lyrics are always one the strongest feats of the band (I don't think I've ever met anyone who could hate his voice). Elbow are very much a band that I could say are very much a modern Beatles, where they go deep into the pop stratosphere trying to make their music as perfect sounding, but never losing the quality of their songwriting. Also, the album cover is dope too.

[disappearingground]

Interview: Jenny Lewis on 'The Voyager', True Love, and her Musical Sisterhood.

Coup de Main October 6, 2015

INTERVIEW: JENNY LEWIS ON 'THE VOYAGER', TRUE LOVE, AND HER MUSICAL SISTERHOOD.

By Shahlin Graves

There’s a red panda toy on-stage tonight - undoubtedly a first for Sydney’s Metro Theatre (after the show, bemused Australian venue staff take photos of it on their phones). The 'lil panda sits proudly, surveying its surroundings - star-spangled rainbows and bouquets of fresh flowers - looking on as JENNY LEWIS and her five-piece band impress the heck out of an adoring audience.

Jenny Jr., The Panda, (as named during our interview at soundcheck / photos here) looks how I feel - equal parts ecstatic and reverential. When the last decade of your life has been soundtracked by all of Jenny Lewis’ albums, this kind of silent shout-out is like the bucket-list item I’ve always wanted to become reality, but just didn’t know.

Hours earlier, while writing a postcard addressed to New Zealand, Jenny tells us an anecdote about her time on Mumford & Sons’ stopover tour: "I just did this Gentlemen Of The Road festival show, and they have postcards pre-stamped backstage for the artists, so that you can send a postcard to someone - but I just sent postcards to myself, and I sat there for hours writing poems on these postcards about the Jersey Shore. I don’t know if that was their intention, putting them there."

Jenny Lewis is my spirit animal - she’s unashamedly unapologetic, the epitome of big sis wisdom, and a good human; like the very best kind that exists. Whoever said that you shouldn’t meet your heroes, has obviously never met Jenny.

"Can we embrace? I feel like I need to hug you after that," says Jenny post-interview, and the feeling is wholeheartedly mutual.

"...for me, it’s all on the table. My work, it comes from my soul, I’m never writing for someone else. I write from that feeling; so there are no rules."

COUP DE MAIN: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today! I grew up listening to Rilo Kiley, so this is such an honour! And in celebration of your existence, as tribute, we’ve bought you a lolly-lei made out of snacks. JENNY LEWIS: Oh my gosh, you guys! Are you serious? Thank you! What are these snacks? Milk bottles?! Thank you, I’ll need these later.

CDM: Selfishly, I’m so happy that you’ve got some Rilo Kiley songs on your current set-list - I don’t think Rilo Kiley ever came to New Zealand, so this is like the end of a long wait for me. JENNY: No, and we didn’t make it to Australia. Blake [Sennett] has a fear - or had a fear - of flying, so I think that was one of the reasons why we didn’t make it in the end. It’s a long flight, it’s quite a commitment - but that’s what drugs are for. <laughs>

CDM: Well, so that you have a super good reason to come visit NZ next time you’re in this part of the world, we’ve adopted you a Red Panda from the Auckland Zoo back in New Zealand. JENNY: WHAT?! This is the best interview I’ve ever done. This is the cutest little guy ever! This is Jenny Jr.? Because I have a purse - it’s like a little mouse-purse, and I call him Gary - and I wonder if Jenny Jr. will fit inside of Gary?

CDM: Jenny Jr. and Gary can be friends! JENNY: Yes! Perfect.

CDM: After working with Ryan Adams on your latest album and then touring together, it’s rad that it just so happened that you’re on the road together again here in Australia. Is tour-Ryan any different to studio-Ryan? JENNY: Ryan is pretty consistently himself, but the coolest part about travelling with Ryan is that he travels with a pinball machine in a road-case. So backstage, there’s always pins to be played. I was never a pinball fan until I started making 'The Voyager' with Ryan, and now I’m a pretty... I can’t say that I’m very good at it, but I really enjoy blowing off steam.

CDM: Can you beat Ryan? JENNY: I can’t beat him at anything. Maybe I could beat him at making a better Grass-Fed burger or something, but that’s about it.

CDM: Girls can do anything, Jenny. Keep practicing. JENNY: Yes! But he’s a pinball fanatic. I’d have to put in a couple years - I don’t have the time to play that much pinball.

CDM: While in NZ last week, Ryan made national news after he helped rescue an abandoned kitten that he found in a cemetery. Is that a normal kind of life-event for Ryan? JENNY: Really?! Did he really?

CDM: Ryan was the #1 Trending Topic on NZ Twitter with #CemeteryCat. He was roaming a cemetery one night, happened upon this abandoned kitten, then rallied our entire nation to try and help save/adopt it. JENNY: Did he just happen upon the cat?

CDM: I assume he was staying at the hotel opposite the cemetery. JENNY: Amazing! We’ve unfollowed each other on social media, so I don’t know anything about #CemeteryCat. <laughs>

CDM: 'The Voyager' album opens with 'Head Underwater', in which you sing, "Looking out on my life / As if there was no there." A year on from the album’s release, do you still feel that disconnect with your past selves? JENNY: No, and I think that line is about the past even in the song. Like, this is what happened to me and I’ve come through it. By the end of the song, that is no longer the case.

CDM: When you look back on your life, do you visualise your past selves as Matryoshka Russian nesting dolls? Or more like pieces of a jig-saw puzzle that fit together? JENNY: That’s a good question. I think more of the Russian dolls, because that little you - that little innocent girl - is always in there somewhere.

CDM: The line, "If for just one second it helps us to remember that we like each other the most" in 'Slippery Slopes', is one of my favourite lyrics on the album. It’s so unashamedly unapologetic, which isn’t a typical narrative for female musicians in this day and age. Why do you think pop-culture stereotypes tropes of female fidelity and infidelity, pitting 'good girls' against 'bad girls'? JENNY: That’s a big question and I think that everyone’s sexuality is their own - you’re on your own path and there’s no right or wrong way to do things. I’ve been in a committed long-term relationship, and that has ebbs and flows, as any long-term relationship does. But it’s funny, 'She’s Not Me' from 'The Voyager' [album], some people have assumed that I’m saying, "She’s not me, she’s easy," as if she’s promiscuous - and that’s not the point of the song at all because I would never say that about another woman and I don’t judge women by how they choose to carry themselves in that regard. But really, it’s just about someone who’s a little easier to live with than me. <laughs> She’s easy; I’m a little more complicated, it’s a little more difficult with me.

CDM: Another of the album’s important takeaway lines, is of course, "There's only one difference between you and me / When I look at myself, all I can see: I'm just another lady without a baby," in 'Just One Of The Guys'. Do you feel frustrated with society’s gender constructs? JENNY: I do, but that line in that song is-- well, it changes from night to night, but on most nights, it’s light. It’s not entirely heavy, and I think that it’s okay to talk about those things in your work. I think there are pressures... like, you have to choose between your career and having a family - you can do both, or you can choose neither, or it’s okay to define yourself through your work rather than other humans that you’re creating.

CDM: I don’t really read album reviews unless it’s research-related, so I only read The Telegraph’s review of 'The Voyager' this week. They said, "Given Lewis’s age and retro-musical instincts, major stardom may now be beyond her grasp, but if you like your pop music grown up, she’s up there with the big boys." Every word of that sentence makes me livid, from them putting an expiry date on your career to the 'big boys' idiom. Do you think that music journalists would be judging these songs in the same way if they were Rilo Kiley songs? JENNY: I don’t know... because if they were Rilo Kiley songs, if my band were still together, I’d still be a 39-year-old woman writing pop songs. I didn’t actually read that review when it came out. <laughs> I was reading an interview recently with Meryl Streep and she said something really interesting. She said that when she turned 40, the only parts that she was offered were parts to play witches in movies. <laughs> So if someone like Meryl Streep feels it, I certainly feel it. But what she’s done, and she’s continued to do amazing work, is she’s also created a writer’s workshop for women over 40 - and it’s specifically for women over 40. So I think that kind of journalism... it will always exist, but I don’t let it affect my work.

CDM: In Kim Gordon’s book, 'Girl In A Band', she says: "For high-end music labels, the music matters, but a lot comes down to how the girl looks. The girl anchors the stage, sucks in the male gaze, and, depending on who she is, throws her own gaze back out into the audience. Since our music can be weird and dissonant, having me center stage also makes it that much easier to sell the band. 'Look, it’s a girl, she’s wearing a dress, and she’s with those guys, so things must be okay.'" Do you agree or disagree with those thoughts? JENNY: Well, I think that’s why we play indie-rock. Because we don’t necessarily have to subscribe to that. I can only talk about my own experience, and in the way that I’ve presented myself as a female up on a stage with my band or with Rilo Kiley... and I grew up and I was extremely shy - I was a tomboy until I was in my mid-twenties - and when I started feeling more comfortable-- like if you look at early Rilo Kiley photos, I was in jeans and t-shirts, and then I started becoming more confident and just feeling more attractive. And so I started wearing dresses and I started wearing hotpants, and it infuriated some of the people in the audience - some of our hardcore fans - as if I had sold out. But really what was happening, was I was growing up and coming into my own and feeling more comfortable in my own body.

CDM: Because what you’re wearing totally affects the quality of your music. JENNY: Right! But it’s so funny how no-one ever said anything about what Blake was wearing - if he had a moustache or not, or long hair or short hair, or shorts or Tevas, hat or no hat. But suddenly somehow the quality of the music declined because the length of my pants got shorter. So it’s absurd. But again, you embody your own femininity and sexuality in your own time.

CDM: 'Love U Forever' ironically voyages from the bliss of young love, to "the feeling of hell in a hallway" when a relationship is no longer shiny and new. Do you believe in true love? What does true love mean to you? JENNY: I do. I think you have to believe in true love. I think practical love is also a part of the equation, and it takes work to be in love, and I think standing in love is something different than falling in love - and I think that’s the ultimate goal. You meet a lot of people that fall in love very quickly and obsess and then it sort of ends, but just the idea of standing in it is different.

CDM: Through Rilo Kiley, Jenny and Johnny, and now 'The Voyager' album, you’ve documented your relationships in a public way over a series of albums. It would be easy to dwell on the negative aspects of that sharing, but what have been the upsides for you personally? JENNY: I learn about myself through my songs. And sometimes I write things that I don’t understand in the moment - I write songs because I have a hard time expressing myself in my own relationships, so a lot of times I’ll write something and then three years later I’ll truly understand how I felt at that time. So for me, it’s all on the table. My work, it comes from my soul, I’m never writing for someone else. I write from that feeling; so there are no rules. I never tell myself what I’m not supposed to write about. But talking about my relationship, that’s different - if I’m giving an interview, I think you want to keep some things for yourself. But once you start making rules about what you can and cannot speak to, then you could find yourself in trouble.

CDM: Do you think it’s more important to move forward or move on? JENNY: Move forward. Because, do you ever really move on? I don’t think so.

CDM: In the Rilo Kiley song, 'Love and War (11/11/46)', you asked: "Can vanity and happiness coexist?" Over a decade later, have you found an answer for that question yet? JENNY: HA! I love that line. That line is so funny, I really thought about it for so long. I think that I probably wouldn’t write that line today, because the hope is that you become more comfortable in your own skin as you get a little bit older. But if I could tell my younger self anything, it would be like, 'Don’t worry about it.' Like a 22-year-old Jenny Lewis, 'Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. You look great. Don’t worry about it.'

CDM: You worked with Vampire Weekend’s Rostam Batmanglij on 'Completely Not Me' last year, for the 'Girls' soundtrack. He’s such an extreme perfectionist, that seems like it would have been the opposite studio experience of working with Ryan Adams who is so primal and instinctual? JENNY: It’s a completely different style of working. Ryan is all analogue - yeah it’s all instinctual, but he is also a perfectionist if he has an idea about the song itself. He doesn’t let the musicians dwell on the process, but he’s very specific about what he wants to hear. Rostam is in a digital world, so things change when you’re not even in the room. But working with both of those guys I learned so much, and I actually am working on a song with Rostam right now - we just started writing something together and I always love working with him.

CDM: You’re so super all about the sisterhood. From having Z Berg perform with you on Jimmy Kimmel Live, to playing at Haim’s Sam Jam benefit show and also having the Haim sisters appear on-stage with you at Coachella this year. As sort of the Patron Saint of Valley Girl musicians, do you feel like a proud Mom watching Haim take over the world? JENNY: How do you know all this stuff?! This is great! <laughs> I am so, so proud of them. I’ve had so many amazing musicians in my band over the years, Este and Danielle Haim, Blake Mills who’s amazing, Natalie Prass was in my band last year... so I’ve seen so many people go on to do really amazing things after spending a little time in my band. I’m so lucky to have people for a short amount of time. And I’ve learned so much from the Haim girls; I’m so incredibly proud of them, and I’m always there if they need me. They were actually over at my house a couple of weeks ago and were talking about songs and writing. I’m always a resource - if you’ve done time in my band, I’m always here for you.

[twilightsunclan-fr]

Sometimes Ivory’s bottomless energy dries up.

Ivory was, for the most part, a man of action.

He was always in some state of motion. Always going from one place to the next. Ivory didn’t like staying in one place for long and he made friends as easily as breathing. He would call Ophrys from one small town, where he was just visiting an old fossil hunting buddy of mine, then call him two nights later from a city where he had to pop in for a dinner with a few friends from back in my junior tournament days. As far as Ophrys could tell, Ivory had been literally everywhere in Unova, at least twice, and knew everyone there was to know.

His boyfriend had more energy then anyone Ophrys had ever met. Which was a good thing. Ophrys knew he could be...difficult to keep up with. Ivory by and large lived a pretty high volume, high motion lifestyle. So when he crashed, he crashed hard.

Ophrys didn’t mind one bit when he did.

It was one of few times when he got to take care of Ivory.

It was Ivory’s first night back after his usual summer season of tournaments and traveling. Usually the first night was a little on the intense side, as both Ivory and Ophrys tried to make up for lost time. They’d lost the first kitchen table to a first night back. Ophrys didn’t regret it at all.

Tonight was different. Ivory walked up the dirt path to the house, same as he always did. Ophrys could tell Ivory was tired just from the trudge of his footsteps. He greeted Ophrys with a gentle kiss and a bewear style hug, told him how much he missed him, how much he loved him. But Ophrys could feel the weariness in every movement.

It wasn’t anything overt. Or at least, since Ophrys couldn’t see Ivory to judge, he went by what he could interpret. Like the trudging shuffle to his normally firm footsteps. The hug lacked its usually vigor. His hands stayed on Ophrys’ lower back, not wandering the slightest bit down. And there was a sigh in the undertone of Ivory’s voice when he talked.

(Tired?) If it was something more or something else, Ivory would hedge and deflect. Would throw himself into acting more like himself. If it wasn’t, if it really was just being tired then-

“Yeah, sorry Rhys.” Ivory would say so immediately, with that exact mix of sheepishness and apology. “I’ve been on my feet since six this morning, and I am just wiped.” Ivory wrapped his arms firmly around Ophrys’ waist and rested his forehead against Ophrys’ broad shoulders. Ophrys reciprocated, plans forming in his head, rewriting what he’d originally intended for the night as he tucked Ivory’s head under his chin.

(Come on.) Ophrys tapped out on Ivory’s back. Ivory reluctantly broke contact, his hands lingering on Ophrys’ hips. (I’ll feed you.)

“Oh you will, will you?” He could just tell that Ivory was doing something stupid with his face. Odds were in favor of the infamous eyebrow waggle that Ophrys had heard so much about.

(Yes.) Ophrys planted a hand on Ivory’s face and pushed. Ivory stumbled back a step, laughing. God, Ophrys had missed him. The big dumb idiot.

Dinner was simple. Pasta, sauce and salad. The salad was handpicked from Ophrys’ small vegetable garden of course. Ivory ate like a starving snorlax, but he always did when he first came home. While Ivory cleaned up, Ophrys looked after his team. Garchomp and Tyranitar would probably never fully accept him, but they still did as he asked and being fed was a tried and true way to get in a pokemon’s good graces. Bagon was a little shit as he always was, thankfully Bellossom kept him in line. And of course, Dragonair and zweilous were happy to see him.

By the time Ophrys made it back to the kitchen, Ivory was just finishing the cleanup. He could tell as the faucet ran a few seconds more after he entered, along with the telltale clink of ceramic plates being put in the drying rack.

(Go take a shower.) Ophrys signed once he was sure he had Ivory’s attention. It wasn’t that Ivory really needed a shower, but he was always more relaxed after taking one.

“What about you?” Ophrys loved Ivory, dearly so. Especially at times like this. When even tired to the bone, Ivory was still taking Ophrys’ needs and wants into consideration. To be completely honest, Ophrys had been dreaming about Ivory’s first night back for the last three weeks. He knew that all he had to do was follow Ivory into the bathroom, and a solid portion of his dreams would become reality.

But Ivory was tired. Very tired. They would have already been sequestered in the bedroom by now if Ivory had his usual energy. Or even a fraction of his usual energy. Ivory needed rest and he wasn’t going to get it that way. Ophrys knew himself well and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop at just once. Once they got started, he wouldn’t be able to quit.

Ivory had that effect on him more then anyone else. And Ivory, it bore repeating, needed rest.

Ophrys was going to give him that.

(Later.) He signed and then gently nudged Ivory’s shoulder.

“If you say so.” Ivory mumbled, Ophrys listened to his footsteps walking through the living room, into the bedroom, the click of the bathroom door closing and creaking of the pipes as the shower was turned on. He had to make a conscious effort to pull his mind away from images of water cascading down Ivory’s naked, well muscled body and instead set himself to work.

First Ophrys pulled out a pair of his more well worn drawstring sweat pants, laying them neatly on the bed for Ivory to pull on. Ivory liked wearing Ophrys’ sweat pants and flannel bottoms and Ophrys was, if anything, going to go out of his way to encourage that. He liked curling next to Ivory and smelling the scent of his own detergent and fabric softener mixed with Ivory’s favorite shampoo and aftershave.

Next he raided the linen chest in the living room, pulling out several of the soft comforters and blankets Lace kept giving him for christmas and a few of the large squashy pillows Ivory had contributed after he’d ‘officially’ moved in. With these materials he built a comfortable nest on the couch.

When the shower stopped, Ophrys was sitting in front of his DVD collection, intently running his hands over the cases. He almost missed Ivory padding into the living room.

“Oh, what’s this now?” Ophrys chucked a case in the direction of Ivory’s voice, hoping to stall the inevitable. It didn’t work, the slap of the case getting caught didn’t slow Ivory down in the slightest. “Are you taking care of me, O-Ph-Rys?” The way Ivory said his name, with special emphasis on the syllables, made something settle warm and pleasant in Ophrys’ chest. He refused to turn around and let Ivory see him blush though.

It didn’t matter. A pair of strong arms circled around his shoulders pulling him back against a warm, still slightly damp body. Of course Ivory wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Thanks Rhys.” Ivory’s voice was soft and deep. “I really needed this.” Ophrys bowed his head, the blush burning on his cheeks. Ophrys shoved another dvd case at Ivory, in lieu of having to respond and make an idiot of himself. Ivory laughed lowly at him as he accepted the case, showing that Ophrys’ gambit had certainly been seen through. “Oh, this is one of my favorites.” Of course it was, Ophrys had picked it on purpose.

He left Ivory to set up the dvd and got himself comfortable sitting at one end of the couch. He patted his thigh encouragingly when he heard Ivory’s soft footfalls stop in front of him, the dvd menu playing a loop on the tv. Heard also Ivory’s amused, fond snort.

But he settled down on Ophrys without a fuss. Stretching his lower body over the couch and his bare torso and head on Ophrys’ lap. Ophrys reached down and yanked one of the blankets up and over Ivory. Lily waddled in just as the movie was starting, carrying two mugs of tea, which she set on the coffee table. Disappearing back into the kitchen while waving off their thanks.

Bean showed up not long after that, and stamped her feet in annoyance that her favorite napping spot was currently in use by Ivory. Lily swept back into the room before Bean could work herself into a right proper temper tantrum. She plucked the smaller pokemon up and carried her out of the room humming cheerfully the entire time. Bean it appeared was too shocked by this turn of events to even halfheartedly squirm.

(You trained her really well.) Rhys tapped out on Ivory’s skull.

“No you did.” Ivory yawned, already half asleep, cocooned in the blankets. Instead of arguing further, Ophrys contented himself with running his fingers through Ivory’s short messy hair. Occasionally trailing down to rub at Ivory’s neck and shoulder muscles. Ignoring hardcore how the moans Ivory made every time he dug into a tense muscle weren’t all that far off from Ivory’s sex moans.

By the time the movie was over, Ivory was deeply asleep. Mumbling quietly to himself in between slow, even breaths. Ophrys had no plans to wake Ivory, gently and carefully he picked his boyfriend up. He was big and heavy, but Ophrys spent his days carrying heavy sacks of fertilizer and buckets of water around, not to mention daily wrestling with Aggron. In short, Ivory wasn’t the only one in this relationship who could deadlift the other.

He tucked Ivory carefully into their bed, listening fondly as Ivory rolled in the bed and reached out for him. He handed his boyfriend a pillow for the moment. Once Ivory was curled tightly around the pillow, Ophrys went back to the living room. Lily bustled around cleaning up their mess. Ophrys tried to help, but received a slap on his hand and a sharp “Bisss!” in response.

(Okay, Okay.) Lily might be his pokemon now, but Ivory was the one who hatched, raised and trained her. And she, like him, didn’t have as many chances to take care of Ivory like he had taken and continued to take care of her. (I’m going.)

Back in the bedroom, Ophrys changed into his own pair of flannel bottoms, forgoing a top as well. He paused, a hand on the bed, cocking his head to the side he listened to the room. Tiny whistling snores from the floor near the dresser told him that Bean was fast asleep in her basket. Ivory’s breathing on the other hand.

(You’re supposed to be asleep.) Ophrys admonished, now that he was listening he could also make out the faint humming bizz that meant the side table lamp was on. Ivory responded with a faint sleepy noise of disagreement as Ophrys climbed into bed, knowing what Ivory wanted and wanting it too, Ophrys stayed on his side,facing the room. Almost immediately, Ivory latched onto him. An arm wrapped around his waist while his other hand slid under his neck and over his chest. Their legs tangled together, Ivory getting as close to Ophrys as he could. Ophrys savored the warmth from Ivory’s body, the slide of his skin against his own. His boyfriend was a living furnace.

“Woke up, you were gone.” Ivory slurred, his breath warm against the back of Ophrys’ neck. His chapped lips pressed a kiss to the skin there. “Wanted to hold you. Missed you so much. Love you so much.” Ophrys couldn’t say anything, he wished he could. He wished could say the things Ivory said with such ease. He swallowed hard instead. The things Ivory said left him breathless. Ophrys folded his own hands over the arm wrapped around his waist, and pushed himself further back into Ivory’s hold. Knowing that Ivory knew him so well that those few actions would be enough to convey his feelings, everything he couldn’t say, either in words or sign.

Miss you, love you, so happy you’re home.

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

The Jonathan Levinson Show?

Hahahahahaha searching for an apartment is a pain in the posterior, don’t do it, just build your own shelter Fallout 4-style.

Anyhow.

So Buffy and the Scoobies are fighting vampires when they come across a nest. Buffy’s not to confident about taking them on by herself, so they call...Jonathan, the ultimate badass and ally of the Scoobies.

Wait, what??

Yeah, that guy who was the nervous kid at Buffy’s high school? The one that was going to kill himself? And presented the ‘Class Protector Award’ to Buffy? Yeah, not only is he apparently a badass now, but he’s everyone’s confidant, a monster-hunter, the Initiative's go-to strategist, a best-selling author, lady’s man, millionaire, life and athletic coach, and his face is plastered everywhere. But it’s not until a monster attacks someone and he’s unable to deal with it that Buffy begins to question whether or not this is reality. And the monster has the same mark on his forehead as Jonathan has on his back….

So this was a bit of a breather episode after all that hardcore angst stuff. It was amusing in just how bizarre it all was; everyone acting like Jonathan not only as an important figure in their lives, but as if he always had. And expressing confusion at Buffy’s growing notion that maybe he wasn’t always.

It turns out that the spell that makes Jonathan a paragon of goodness to the world also had to create a monster to balance it out. And if that monster is killed, the spell is broken. When Buffy and Jonathan team up to go after the monster, it seems like maybe he’s going to double cross her just so he can keep the life he’s magick’d up for himself. But no, he helps her kill the monster, almost getting killed in the process. But Buffy saves him.

He apologizes in the end, and Buffy tells him that you’ve actually got to work to get anywhere in life; magic shortcuts never work. And that’s our Aesop, I guess.

Some notes!

-I’m sorry, I completely blanked on who Jonathan was. I knew he looked familiar, but I had forgotten that he was that one insecure classmate of the Scoobies from high school that kept popping up. Like, the one who was going to kill himself that they thought was going to do a school shooting. And presented the ‘Class Protector’ award to Buffy. I forgot entirely. This is what happens when you watch shows without a consistent schedule over the course of years.

-Xander seemed torn up about Jonathan’s world being undone, and wasn’t even all that upset about the idea of Buffy getting hurt to make it stick. Someone somewhere suggested that it was because Xander identified with Jonathan as a type of loser who never gets anything he wants. Although in this world Anya seems to be more attracted to Jonathan than to him, so it’s not all good for him.

-Yo okay so that monster was supposed to be the ultimate evil to balance Jonathan as the ultimate good? And...it wasn’t even that scary of a monster? Just really long arms, beardy, mostly hairless? And it didn’t even kill anyone? I’m glad it could be dealt with in one episode, but it wasn’t ultimate evil.

-The thing sneak attacked two people (one of them Tara) with no warning and neither of them was even that severely injured?

-Spike came up a couple of times in the episode, and while he’s amusing, I’m kind of not sure what he’s doing in the plot anymore. Also Jonathan says that all the demons in town are gunning for him, and that’s not the impression I got? If they are, he’s certainly not hiding very well, if the Scoobies keep running into him.

-Adam has a short appearance in the episode, hanging out in his lair and one of his lackeys telling him about Jonathan. Adam is confused for a bit, because he doesn’t know Jonathan at all. He’s apparently not affected by the spell. He lets the thing keep going through, because he says that magic like this is unstable and will lead to chaos, and he eats that stuff up.

-But his explanation for why he’s not affected doesn’t make much sense to me. It’s because “he knows every molecule of his being” or something like that. I call BS; I would have liked some explanation along the lines of “Because of his cyborg/computer parts” or being made up of several pieces. Something that didn’t sound vague.

-When the Initiative calls Jonathan in to talk about Adam, he does through Walsh’s files and says that Adam can’t simply be decapitated because he’s got a uranium core that keeps him running (explaining why he doesn’t eat). I thought without a brain he’d still be harmless, but, uh, yeah. He has to be completely destroyed, which is why killing him isn’t that easy. Blowing him up or dismembering might still be on the table though?

-Alright though if he’s got a uranium core (and uranium is used to power nuclear power plants and nuclear bombs), wouldn’t...I dunno, blowing him up cause a nuclear explosion? And that would be horrible. I mean I’d love a Fallout-style AU for Buffy but I’m assuming that’s not where this goes.

-I’ve been playing a lot of Fallout 4 recently, okay???

-Jonathan actually gives good advice to Buffy and Riley? They’re still a bit tense and all about that whole thing with Faith, with both of them not knowing precisely how to proceed. Jonathan tells them to just talk it out and make sure his/her partner knows how he/she feels.

-The ending implies that Jonathan is beginning to forget the whole thing? Which seems...counterproductive.

-In the alternate world, Jonathan was the one who destroyed the Master’s bones and blew up the Mayor on Ascension Day. Which is weird. He also coached the US Women’s Soccer team or something?

-Not only that, but Buffy is Jonathan’s sidekick. Spike is surprised when Buffy actually hits him, as if this is an unusual occurrence. Buffy even mentions that it’s weird that the Slayer is playing second fiddle to someone else.

-Jonathan was also all in the credits, with quick shots of him doing awesome things. I’m glad I watched them this time.

-Anya explains alternate realities to Buffy, as she used to grant wishes as a demon, often involving that sort of thing. And she keeps saying that you could, if you wanted, make a world without shrimp, or a world entirely out of shrimp. And when explaining later to the Scoobies that’s what she goes with. Why does she have a fixation with shrimp?

-Giles has a Jonathan Swimsuit Calendar. He assures the rest that it was a gift, but...yeah. Not buying that, Rupert.

-This episode also gave us this:

-Tara uses magic to make smoke/mist to escape the monster, which is something I feel like people in movies don’t use as much unless they’re explicitly ninjas? Making a hiding mist is underrated as a superpower.

-And Jonathan sings. Because of course he does. Still not as cool as Batman singing.

[centralparkpawsblog]

2020’s 9 Best Indestructible Dog Bed Reviews For Tough Critics

Best Dog Beds for Heavy Chewers: Winners

Best Dog Bed for Chewers – Bully Beds Chew Resistant Dog Bed

Best Budget “Chew Proof” Dog Bed – Brindle Memory Foam Pet Bed

Best Indestructible Dog Bed for Large Dogs – Gorilla Ballistic Orthopedic Dog Bed

Best Durable Dog Bed for Crates – K9 Ballistics Tough Nesting Dog Bed

Best Chew Proof Elevated Dog Bed – Kuranda Dog Bed

Best Shred Proof Orthopedic Dog Bed – K9 Ballistic Tough Orthopedic Dog Bed

Best Tear Proof Pillow Dog Bed – Carhartt Durable Canvas Dog Bed

Best Anti Chew Bolster Style Dog Bed – Orvis Toughchew Memory Foam Bolster Dog Bed

Best Mat Style Dog Bed for Heavy Chewers– Slumber Pet Heavy Duty Chew Resistant Mat

Being a dog mom of four dogs makes me feel like an expert when it comes to certain dog products and dog beds definitely qualify.

I have a few dog bed diggers that could be professional dog bed testers.

And, Calvin and Sophie were once aggressive dog bed chewers, so I completely understand dealing with that too.

Though my dogs no longer chew on beds like they once did, they still love nesting, which can get a bit energetic, resulting in tears in the fabric.

We have beds for all of them scattered in different areas of our home and RV, resulting in quite an investment, so ensuring we have ones that can hold up over time is an absolute necessity.

Through both online and real-life research, here are my top picks for the most durable dog beds.

Indestructible Dog Beds

It is essential to point out that no dog bed is 100% chew proof or indestructible.

And pups that suffer from severe separation anxiety, as Cal did, will destroy any bed you put in front of them.

So it is essential to deal with the behavioral issue that is causing your dog to shred the bed.

However, if you have a dog that aggressively nests, then rips and tears are likely going to happen, which is why finding a well-made tear resistant bed is essential to preventing the need to replace your dog’s bed every six months.

Also, many beds are chew resistant and can hold up against casual to moderate chewers.

Don’t miss our roundup of the best chew proof harnesses!

Best Dog Beds for Heavy Chewers

Best Overall Indestructible Dog Bed

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Bully Beds Chew Resistant Dog Bed

I love almost everything about Bully Bed’s Chewproof Dog Bed except for the decorative piping.

The piping looks great, but the reality my dogs love it and not just because they have great taste, but instead because it is too irresistible for my puppy not to chew on.

However, the many other details that went into the construction of this bed is fantastic! Instead of a zipper, it has velcro.

Additionally, the foam is flame-retardant and is free from formaldehyde, phthalates mercury, lead, and heavy metals. And it is made with odor-resistant materials.

Another great feature of this bed is that it comes with a one-time replacement, a 200-day guarantee.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: Medium 34″ x 22″ x 4″, Large 48″ x 30″ x 5″, Extra Large 52″ x 34″ x 5″, or 2XL 60″ x 48″ x 5″

Colors: Tan or Gray

Material: Proprietary BullyTuf cover material

Waterproof: Water-resistant design with a waterproof liner

✔

Pros

Hair resistant cover

Removable and washable cover

CertiPUR-US certified orthopedic memory foam

200 day chew warranty and replacement

✘

Cons

May be too large for a kennel

Piping on edge

Final Verdict

The Bully Bed is my number one pick and likely will be the next dog bed I purchase. It is definitely one of the best dog beds for chewers.

Best Budget Dog Bed for Aggressive Chewers

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Brindle Memory Foam Pet Bed

Though the Brindle bed is not the toughest bed available, it does hold up well against aggressive nesters.

What I like about this bed is that it is easy to keep clean and is relatively odor resistant.

Plus, though it is made with shredded memory foam, it holds its shape over the years and is easy to clean.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: Mini 17″ x 11″x3″, Small 22″ x 16″x3″, Medium 28″ x 18″x3″, Large 4″ x 22″x3″, Xtra Large 40″ x 26″x3″, XXL 46″ x 28″x3″, or XXXL 52″ x 34″x3″

Colors: Teal, Stone, Red, Khaki

Material: Faux suede and shredded memory foam

Waterproof: No

✔

Pros

Soft and pliable

Fits easily into a crate

Convenient for travel

Rip resistant

Price

✘

Cons

Not chew resistant

Not completely unrippable

Final Verdict

We have three of these Brindle Memeroy Foam beds, and my dogs all love them.

Calvin digs in the beds, and they proved unrippable to him; however, though very muscular, he is only 45 pounds. Conversely, he has ripped my leather couches while attempting to nest on those, which is why I added this bed to the list.

Plus, when it comes to indestructible dog beds, you often get what you pay for.

So, when looking for a more economical choice, unfortunately, you will not likely find one that is made from the most durable of materials, like this one.

Best Unchewable Pet Bed for Large Dogs

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Gorilla Ballistic Orthopedic Dog Bed

The Gorilla Ballistic dog bed is one of the toughest dog beds, and though no dog bed is 100% unchewable, it is one of the best dog beds for heavy chewers.

It lacks any embellishments and is made from heavy-duty material made to hold up against enthusiastic dogs.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Round

Sizes: Height choices are 3.5″ or 5″ in Small 25″, Medium 36″, Large 44″, or Extra Large 56″

Bed Colors: Gray or Black

Thread Colors: Blue, Tan, Gray, Pink, or Multi

Material: 100% Gorilla ballistic fabric

Waterproof: Water-resistant outer cover and inner liner

✔

Pros

Removable and washable cover

268 lbs break strength zipper

CertiPUR-US certified orthopedic foam mattress

Easy to spot clean

Triple stitch seams

✘

Cons

Price

Not waterproof

Not the right shape for a crate

Final Verdict

I would highly recommend the Gorilla Ballistic dog bed and love that it has a 125-day replacement warranty, which, to me, says a lot about this bed.

Best Indestructible Dog Bed for Crates

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K9 Ballistics Tough Nesting Dog Bed

This K9 Ballistics dog bed is virtually indestructible and was designed with diggers, nesters, and casual chewers in mind.

The cover is made from ballistic nylon, which holds up better than Kevlar when it comes to the attention of dogs.

The cover is not just tear proof, but it is also waterproof and easy to clean.

The dog bed cover is easily machine washable. And it has a hidden zipper to keep curious pups from chewing on it.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: Small 18″ x 24″ x 5″, Medium 27″ x 33″ x 5″, Large 34″ x 40″x 5″, Extra Large 38″ x 54″ x 5″, or XXL 40″ x 68″ x 5″

Colors: Black, Green, Blue, Red, Brindle Velvet/Lattice Ripstop, Lattice, Poseidon Blue, Sunny Sky Stripe, Tan

Material: Ballistic nylon and Shredded, virgin CertiPUR-USA foam

Waterproof: Yes

✔

Pros

Chew resistant

No zippers

No interior seams

Stronger than Kevlar

✘

Cons

Not rip proof

Price

Final Verdict

This a great dog bed for when the times you need to crate your dog.

It provides a significant amount of comfort, and the fill is loose enough to allow your dog to nest without damaging the bed.

Best Chew Proof Elevated Dog Bed

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Kuranda Dog Bed

By far, the Kuranda dog bed is the best choice for aggressive chewers and diggers.

It is the closet thing to unbreakable and shred proof any dog bed can get.

Made with a sturdy aluminum frame and vinyl mattress, this bed is ideal for both outdoor and indoor use.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: Mini 25″ x 18″, Small 30″ x 20″, Medium 35″ x 23″, Large 40″ x 25″, Extra Large 44″ x 27″, XXL 50″ x 36″

Colors: Burgundy, Green, Blue, Smoke

Material: Vinyl and aluminum

Waterproof: Yes

✔

Pros

Bite proof

Chew proof

Easy to clean

250-pound capacity

✘

Cons

Non-orthopedic

Assembly required

Final Verdict

For those who are seeking a tough heavy-duty bed for hardcore chewers, the Kuranda dog bed is the bed for you.

I would caution that since it is unchewable, it may break teeth.

Though Sophie wasn’t chewing on a bed, she did chew on a metal dog gate and managed to break her teeth, so that’s why I thought it would be good to mention it.

Most Durable Orthopedic Dog Bed

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K9 Ballistic Tough Orthopedic Dog Bed

K9 Ballistic’s Tough Orthopedic Dog Bed is the ideal bed for seniors or dogs with joint pain who still like to nest and for those who may even partake in the occasional chew fest.

However, this is not the bed for those who suffer from severe anxiety with destructive behavior.

It is well made and does come with a 120-day one-time store credit option in the event your pup damages the bed[1].

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: Small 24″ x 18″ x 5″, Medium 33″ x 27″ x 5″, Large 40″ x 34″ x 5″, Extra Large 54″ x 38″ x 5″, or XXL 68″ x 40″ x 5″

Colors: Black, Green, Blue, Red, Brindle Velvet/Lattice Ripstop, Lattice, Poseidon Blue, Sunny Sky Stripe, Tan

Material: Ballistic nylon cover and CertiPUR-US foam mattress

Waterproof: Yes

✔

Pros

Dig proof

Scratch resistant

Removable, machine washable, and easy to clean cover

Foam mattress provides good orthopedic support

✘

Cons

Not for aggressive chewers

Final Verdict

I definitely would recommend this bed for dogs with joint issues, especially those who have arthritis.

I also like that this bed comes in a wide variety of sizes.

Toughest Pillow Dog Bed

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Carhartt Durable Canvas Dog Bed

The Carhartt Durable Canvas Dog Bed is scratch and tear-resistant but will not hold up against heavy chewers.

The corners and seams are especially vulnerable points, and lack reinforced stitching.

But the nice thing is all of the components of the bed are machine washable.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: Small 28″ x 20″ x 4.25″, Medium 27″ x 35″ x 4.25″, or Large 33″ x 41″ x 4.25″

Colors: Mossy Oak Break-Up Country, Carhartt Brown, Dark Brown, Carhartt Brown with Sherpa Top

Material: Firm hand cotton duck canvas cover

Waterproof: Water-repellent coating

✔

Pros

Lightweight

Washable interior pillow

Concealed zipper

✘

Cons

Polyester fill breaks down over time

Not available in sizes for extra large dogs

Final Verdict

The Carhartt canvas bed is best for dogs who are supervised when lounging on this bed, and would be ideal for those looking for a bed for camping.

The cover has a water repellent coating, and since the whole bed can go in the washer, it would work well for the outdoors.

Best Tear Proof Bolster Style Dog Bed

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Orvis Toughchew Memory Foam Bolster Dog Bed

The Orvis Toughchew Bed has a soft velvety cover yet is exceptionally durable and pretty darn close to untearable.

And the memory foam mattress holds up well over the years without sagging.

Plus, it is a very stylish bed and fits well with most home interiors.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: Small 35½” x 25½”, Medium 40″ x 26½”, or Large 44″ x 31″

Colors: Loden, Charcoal Chev, and Charcoal

Material: Micro velvet top layer, 840-denier nylon liner, and CertiPUR-US certified foam

Waterproof: Water-resistant liner

✔

Pros

Removable cover

Sturdy CertiPUR-US certified foam

Chew resistant

Hypo-allergenic

✘

Cons

Price

Not available in sizes for extra large dogs

Final Verdict

I would 100% recommend the Orvis Toughchew to anyone looking for a durable, orthopedic, bolster dog bed.

We have had this bed for over three years, and my dogs love it, and there isn’t even a scratch on it!

Also, though Orvis does not promote that it is odor resistant, it indeed is. It’s effortless to keep clean and doesn’t attract dog hair like many of the other beds in our home.

Best Chew Resistant Mat Style Dog Bed

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Slumber Pet Heavy Duty Chew Resistant Mat

The Slumber Pet mat is chew resistant and machine washable.

It is easy to slide into a crate and has reinforced stitching to help deter dogs from destroying it.

Though this dog mat is chew resistant, it is not made for excessive chewers but will hold up well against scratching and digging.

Buy Now

Key Features

Style/Shape: Rectangle

Sizes: X-Small 17¾” x 11¾”, Small  23¾” x 16¾”, Medium 29¾” x 18¾”, Medium/Large – 35¾” x 22¾”, or Large 41¾” x 27¾”

Colors: Tan

Material: Polyester ripstop cover

Waterproof: No

✔

Pros

Double stitched seams

Variety of sizes

Fits crates well

Chew resistant

✘

Cons

Not waterproof

Not as durable as some other dog beds

Final Verdict

I like that the Slumber Pet Heavy Duty Crate Mat can easily be tossed into the washing machine; however, it is far from indestructible.

But for those looking for a mat for their dog’s crate or just something to make them more comfortable when outside, this mat would work for that.

What to Look for When Choosing an Indestructible Dog Bed

There are as many varieties of beds out there for dogs as there are for humans, maybe even more.

But as we all know, dog beds are an investment, and knowing what to look for before you shop is key.

Here are some key dog bed features to consider when choosing the right bed for your dog.

Check out our roundup of the best indestructible squeaky dog toys!

Style

There are a variety of different styles available, and no one type is better than another; it all depends on your dog’s preferences and space you plan to put it.

Some of the more common styles available include:

Pillow – These are the round or rectangle beds with fill or memory foam but lacks sides or a back

Orthopedic – These beds have memory foam mattresses and may even have a self-cooling component to add to your dog’s comfort

Doughnut – Yep, you got it, they look like doughnuts. Sophie prefers this style since she tends to sleep in a ball

Bolster – These often look like tiny couches or armchairs. Most of my dogs prefer this style in the winter or colder months

Raised – Raised beds are great for helping with airflow and are often ideal for outside. We use raised dog beds for camping and outdoors. They drain rainwater off and are very durable. Though, elevated beds are not always the most comfortable; only Calvin will lay on this style

Looking for just orthopedic dog beds? We have you covered!

Cover Material

This is critical when looking for a bed to hold up against chewers and diggers.

Additionally, it also makes a difference depending on the season.

When choosing a bed that can take some severe wear and tear, pick one that has a cover made from ballistic nylon, Kevlar, or other durable material option.

Hidden Zipper

Zippers can be interesting to curious dogs; finding one that has Velcro or a hidden zipper is essential.

You want your dog to find the bed comfortable, not entertaining.

Stuffing/Fill

Much depends on the needs of your dog as far as comfort, but beds with fill versus foam sometimes pique a dog’s intrigue if they rip the cover, causing more significant destruction.

Dog bed pillows or mattresses are usually made up of memory foam, fill, or shredded memory foam.

Washable

This is a must.

Imagine if you didn’t ever change the sheets on your bed.

Choosing a bed with a removable cover is critical to ensure the house doesn’t begin to stink.

Unwashed dog beds can even house mites, which can cause an allergic reaction in your dog[2]!

Check out our list of the the best washable dog beds!

Warranty

For those of us who have a dog that is a chewer picking a bed that has a warranty is a must.

Most bed warranties offer one replacement.

And, though you are responsible for shipping and handling on the return and new bed, it is still cheaper than buying a new one.

Price

One thing I have learned over the years is that buying the cheapest bed isn’t the best idea, though you don’t need to buy the most expensive one either.

However, dog beds fall into the category of you get what you pay. And investing a bit more for a dog bed that will last is well worth it.

Why Dogs Chew Beds

Dogs do not chew on beds to irritate us, or because they are mad at us. They don’t operate that way.

However, if you have a chronic dog bed destroyer, there is a root cause, and the only way to put an end to their dog bed reign of terror is to get to the bottom of it.

For example, I found that after a dog bed had been in our house for a while, Calvin would no longer attempt to destroy it.

So, when he was Captain Chewer, I would put the new dog bed in the closet when we would leave. Eventually, after the bed lost its new bed smell, say, after about a month, he wouldn’t bother it anymore.

However, when I was fosterin,g I found a lot of my fosters had separation anxiety that manifested in destructive behavior.

After their SA was addressed their bed chewing resolved too.

Separation anxiety isn’t the only type of anxiety.

Sophie destroyed everything in her crate because she had barrier anxiety. As soon as I left her out she never chewed another bed.

Dogs showing signs of destruction is a sign they are in distress[3].

Sometimes it’s just that they aren’t getting enough exercise, and truthfully, I have found that’s the case more than 75% of the time.

Every dog is different and it is our job as dog parents to ensure they are kept safe, healthy, and happy.

If you aren’t sure why your pup is acting up, then it would be best to call your vet for help.

But I should state that digging and nesting in a bed is normal dog behavior, even when done with great enthusiasm.

So if that’s the case, then finding the most durable bed, like the Bully Bed, is all you need.

Final Verdict

Though dogs who destroy their beds are often out of balance, some dogs are just very tenacious nesters and need a dog bed that can withstand that attention.

Which, thankfully, there are several dog bed varieties that should suit your needs.

Also, remember that no dog bed is 100% indestructible, but you can usually find several dog beds that can’t be chewed up easily.

And though the most durable dog beds can be expensive, it is typically worth the investment in the long run.

FAQs

Is There a Chew Proof Dog Bed?

There are several chew resistant dog beds available, but none that is 100% chew proof.

However, the Gorilla Ballistic Dog Bed comes pretty close.

What Material Can Dogs Not Chew Through?

There isn’t one.

However, the Orvis Toughchew Memory Foam Bolster Dog Bed is pretty tough.

Can Dogs Chew through Kevlar?

Yes, dogs can chew through Kevlar, there are few things dogs can’t chew through.

However, K9 Ballistics Tough Nesting Dog Bed is made with ballistic nylon, which is stronger than Kevlar.

Are Kong Beds Indestructible?

No bed is 100% indestructible, but the Kuranda dog bed is darn near with its aluminum frame and vinyl bed.

Are Kong Beds Guaranteed?

There is a 60-day guarantee on their products.

However, other dog bed companies like Bully Beds, K9 Ballistic dog beds, and Gorilla beds all have 120-200 day warranties, depending on the company.

Resources

https://k9ballistics.com/pages/warranty

https://www.petmd.com/dog/general-health/can-dogs-be-allergic-their-beds

https://www.petful.com/behaviors/recognize-dog-distressed/

from Central Park Paws https://www.centralparkpaws.net/pet-beds/best-indestructible-dog-beds-reviews/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=best-indestructible-dog-beds-reviews

[theliterateape]

I Like to Watch: The Rock (1996)

by Don Hall

With the slowly creeping reality that Hollywood isn’t making a lot of new movies just lately and having already watched fucking everything out there twice, the re-watching of those films you remember from decades prior to pandemic is exactly what streaming provides.

Back in the days of Chicago, at one of the many BUGHOUSE! shows, Joe Janes and Brian Sweeney debated on the topic “Michael Bay: Hack or Genius?” This is not to re-litigate that debate but I highly recommend you listen if you’re so inclined. It’s flat-out hysterical.

I’m not what you’d call the biggest fan of Bay’s oeuvre but when Bay is at his most Bayness, he can create some truly remarkable cinema.

The Transformers was a blast up until the Shia LaBouf character was aged out. Giant robots fighting over dominion of the Earth? That magically turn into vehicles created by humans? From outer space? C’mon!

The Bad Boys trilogy was an exercise in the chemistry between two incredibly charismatic actors with some of the most badass car chases and explosions known to film. Scorsese might have cornered the market on brilliant storytelling, amazing and creative camera work, and the best use of scoring in history but you aren’t gonna find a single Humvee chase in Cuba that destroys an entire five blocks of buildings while the leads trade comic quips throughout in Age of Innocence.

I loved The Island just because the whole thing was so completely ridiculous and fun.

Bruce Willis playing hardcore driller-dad to Ben Affleck? Billy Bob Thornton as a crippled NASA scientist? Steve Buscemi doing a callback to Dr. Strangelove? Strippers, outer space Evel Knievel, and blue-collar morons saving the planet? Huge destruction of Paris, Hong Kong, and Wall Street by asteroids? Few hunks of cheesecake laden with sugary strawberries and rich chocolate sauce covered in Reese’s Pieces chased by a Peanut Butter Chocolate shake couldn’t top Armageddon.

But the sheer out-of-body beauty and over-the-top ridiculousness of 1996’s Nicholas Cage/Sean Connery spectacle The Rock is the pinnacle of machismo Michael Bay genius.

I’m from the eighties. While not nostalgic for those myriad badass men kicking ass and making jokes about it films, I still grew up with them and can’t help but love them in some way. Explosions and cars and impossible accuracy with weapons that are huge and stupid are quintessentially juvenile joy. The tale that spins the hero saving the world (in whatever parameters the tale decides is “the world” — destroying a globally killing asteroid or saving 70,000 people or taking out the vicious bad guys) is all myth but they’re myths that posit that we sacks of meat and nerves have some control of the events that surround us.

There is a moral code in these things. Sure, lots of killing but in an almost Looney Tunes sort of video game death. Plenty of shit blowing up. Amid the controlled chaos is a code of good guys and bad guys. Extremely binary. Simple. Good guys do all the same things as bad guys do but for the right reasons. Good guys gun people down for love or freedom, they sacrifice themselves for a greater good even when it does not serve their best interests. Bad guys do it for filthy lucre. Bad guys kill for selfish reasons. Monetary gain.

The truth is that we humans are far more like Woody Allen (for the intellectual class) or the idiots from Dodgeball than John Rambo or John McClain. We are beset by complexity, bills, random injuries, and anxiety. Rarely are we challenged in that do or die scenario except for when we pay for it (no one is required to do the Tough Mudder or go skydiving). In the life of the real, there are no genuine action film bad guys or good guys. So we live vicariously by watching them.

In The Rock Ed Harris plays a general in the special forces whose motivation for stealing biochemical weapons and rockets, infiltrating and taking hostages at Alcatraz (by now a tourist attraction), and threatening to murder San Francisco is all about the military’s blatant covering up of covert deaths of American soldiers. His methods are that of a villain but his intentions are honorable.

Sean Connery is John Mason (a character that is no less James Bond if he had been captured in the sixties and imprisoned for 35 years). Mason is a criminal. An escape artist. An enemy of the state whose only motivation for the first half of the movie is get free and create a relationship with a daughter he had with a one-night stand because “she is the only evidence he ever lived.”

Then there is nineties Nick Cage. His character is named Stanley Goodspeed. Stanley Goodspeed. Despite his ability to drive a Lamborghini like an adrenaline junkie on meth and shoot with deadly accuracy when necessary, he is a nerd. A scientist. Awkward and goofy. Despite his girlfriend being super hot and, unlike any nerd in the history of geekdom, his propensity to sit shirtless on his couch, drinking wine and playing the guitar and looking good doing it, Goodspeed is a nerd because Bay tells us he is. And because he tells us he is repeatedly.

Throw in some extraordinary character actors and go to action stars — Michael Biehn, William Forsythe, David Morse, Tony Todd, John Spencer, John C. McGinley — and there’s enough goddamned testosterone in this thing to melt your fucking face.

Three scenes. Twenty minutes to set up General Hummel’s plan (with an incredible action sequence of him stealing the weapons and the obligatory fuck up that lets us see how horrifying the chemical is), Goodspeed’s nerd status combined with his almost godlike ability to handle the pressure of diffusing a bomb in a container while having poison gas shoot all around him, and Mason’s backstory as the British Intelligence guy captured and then the one guy in history to escape Alcatraz (the rock of the title).

From that point, every scene is a ridiculous, masterfully executed action sequence. Non-stop action. I remember reading a blurb about Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple on Broadway that boasted ”a laugh every six seconds. This film can boast a giant action boner every two minutes.

A haircut turns into hanging John Spencer from a clothesline over a building which turns into a massive car chase in San Francisco (like 30 cars are destroyed in this thing), which turns into the Navy Seals dropping out of a plane into the waters surrounding Alcatraz. Then we have Mason navigate the Galaxy Quest back entrance to Alcatraz (Best Moment: Connery opens the door and says, in all his Scottishness “Gentlemen, welcome to The Rock.”) followed by the bad guys slo-mo gunning down the good guys from an elevated position in a prison shower.

All the while one sits in amazement at the glorious weirdness of Nicholas Cage. I wonder what Harris and Connery thought about after each bizarre line reading of lines like:

"I’d take pleasure in guttin’ you, boy. I’d take pleasure in guttin’ you... boy.” What is wrong with these people, huh? Mason? Don’t you think there’s a lot of, uh, a lot of anger flowing around this island? Kind of a pubescent volatility? Don’t you think? A lotta angst, a lot of “I’m sixteen, I’m angry at my father” syndrome? I mean grow up! We’re stuck on an island with a bunch of violence-for-pleasure-seeking psycophatic marines, SHAME-ON-THEM!

and

“What do you say we cut the chit-chat, A-HOLE? You almost got me killed twice! And my jaw hurts like hell.”

and

”How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?”

Once everyone is killed and then only two of the good guys left are Connery and Cage, we are treated to lots of showpieces — a gun battle that ends with a bad guy getting his head crushed by a hanging air conditioner, an improbable ride in metal hanging buckets, a show down between Hummel, now reluctant to actually kill 70,000 people and mercenaries he hired (see? Filthy lucre).

Of course, the two of the really bad guys get respectively shot in the chest with a rocket and one of the biochemical pearls shoved in his mouth and everyone wins.

Michael Bay might be a hack. He might be a genius. All I know is that The Rock is the Citizen Kane of a very specific genre of film and it will remain in my movie collection right next to Goodfellas, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Breathless, and Vertigo.

[apsbicepstraining]

7 Insane Trouble We’ll Have To Deal With In The Future

As we remind you all the time, the future ain’t what it used to be. We have no jetpacks or robot butlers, and we’ve still not upgraded from Land Wars to Star Wars. The dreamers fell short … but it is about to change that some of the pessimists came pretty close to the mark. In the same method that no one in the ‘5 0s envisaged “millions of strangers across the world inadvertently saw your dick” is to be able to become a realistic question, our near-future is likely to be filled with aggravations that chime completely ridiculous to us now.

Here are seven incoming issues that will acquire you yearn for an ape and/ or machine insurgency. At least in such a case, you wouldn’t have to put up with …

# 7. Your Fitbit Could Be Utilized As Evidence Against You

Any denizen of the digital generation knows that anything you say on the Internet can and will be used against you, specially if it’s embarrassing love story. However, that’s a logical propagation of using written material as evidence, as we’ve done for centuries. The newest road to incriminate yourself online has far less precedent: the data collected from wearable engineering, such as the Fitbit.

You can run, but you can’t secrete( the fact that you only killed a hobo ).

Yes, your clothes could send you to jail. It may sound like Law& Order: The Jetsons , but there’s no real reason this kind of data can’t be admissible in tribunal. In happening, it’s already happening. A maiden in Pennsylvania called 911 and claimed that a home invader abused her, but her Fitbit denied her story( she was awake and walking around when she said she was fast asleep ). Her own fitness watch facilitated is proof that she’d attracted the whole story out of her … you know, and now she’s facing misdemeanor charges.

So wearable tech can help make the offender to right. That’s good, right? Well, here’s where it gets fishy. There are already “alibi apps” — planneds that secretly enter all your interactions and circumvents to prove you weren’t( for example) propping a chandelier in the study when Colonel Mustard went whacked. Sounds innocent enough, until you remember that there’s a term for people who intentionally go around establishing alibis: “guilty as fuck.” Using this app is a little bit like going up to a policeman and saying, “By the direction, I’ll be at the movies this afternoon when my bride gets murdered.”

“I was at the … * looks at watch * OJ Simpson retrospective. FUCK! ”

The idea that people are already reputing onward to use their trackers as alibis means that these things will have all sorts of clusterfuck legal capability. What happens when someone offer a hobo to hold their smartphone( or straps it to a bird-dog) while they go out and do violations? Or what if someone acquires your Fitbit to incriminate you? These occasions will happen at some object. Hey, maybe that’s why everyone was becoming couch potato in WALL-E . In the future, being fit won’t is worthy of the hassle.

# 6. The First Commercial Space Shuttles Won’t Have Bathrooms

The future of tripping will involve hitting into the stratosphere instead of wheeling along the route, but that doesn’t necessitate all family vacation traditions will change. “You should’ve gone before you left” is still about to become a common phrase, except that in the future, it’s going to get much direr. Why? Because in space, everybody can see you shit.

He’s not being propelled by a plane .

All of the companies designing prominent commercial-grade space shuttles have clearly forgotten Newton’s Fourth Law of Motion: Everybody poops. None of these shuttles include showers. A excursion to the International Space Station can take between six and 30 hours — that’s a hell of a long time to “just hamper it, ” dad. Hell, even the earthbound high-speed Hyperloop being developed by Elon Musk lacks a comfort station. Oh, or windows. If you thought making gaze contact with the person or persons sitting in front of you in the instruct was tricky, wait until you’re captured in a windowless, toilet-free metallic cylinder with person for hours.

Getting carsick is another tradition that won’t be changing any time soon; in space, it’ll plainly get much more intense. There will be no spaces to wind down and no back of the road to stain. If you’re shuttle-sick( and let’s face it, “youre supposed to” is likely to be ), your little chunder-cloud will be hanging around, becoming another passenger of the aircraft. Developers acknowledge that clearing out the odor and existence of opening vomit will be extremely important, as none play around Space Invaders with the substance of your bowels.

# 5. Living Longer Will Make Family Life Really, Really Weird

One of the main benefits of living in the future is that we no longer drop dead at age 40. Now we get to stick around for decades and decades! And decades. And decades . This will ultimately have some bizarre impacts in some regions of our( increasingly lengthy) lives, starting with the workplace. To evade vanquishing the Social Security system, people will be working long long. Fifty Shades Of Grey won’t only has become a literary masterpiece; it’ll be the lineup behind the bar at your neighbourhood Starbucks.

“You’ve been taking my ordering for the past three decades. How can you still not spell my reputation right? ”

The job market will become even fiercer as girls fresh out of college have to compete with “midlife re-trainees.” Of trend, some people will ever prefer to stay in their occupations for life … which will have even more frightening ramifications. Career politicians, judges, and tenured academics might stick around for the better part of a century, as would their old-fashioned feelings. Remember Supreme Court Justice James McReynolds, the old-time mongrel who spent a good hunk of the 20 th century effectively pushing back against every type of social change? Now thoughts a Highlander version of that guy.

It gets weirder. Grey growing the new pitch-black will altogether alter which is something we think about as clas. With longer lifespans and later marriage ages, we’ll have more grandparents to take care of and fewer brothers and sisters to share that load. Family reunions will transform into an indignant mob of cybernetic geriatrics telling kids to stay off the lawn. Instead of robust family tree, we’ll have rickety family beanstalks.

“A toast to great-great-grandma Mary, who went to the shower at Thanksgiving and hasn’t am coming yet.”

Living longer will even change the very notion of wedlock — or marriages. Single lifelong organizations will become more demanding, so psychologists predict that weddings might become less “until death do us apart” and more “until we get bored of each other in a few decades.” Older pairs who would decide to condone each other if they only had 15 years left to live might say “Screw this, I’m out” when they recognises they have 50 instead.

Finally, with all the pressure living to three digits throws on matters of employment and housing marketplaces, leaving the nest will have to be delayed. So you don’t have to be ashamed about interpret Cracked at 35 in your mother’s basement; you’re merely ahead of the curve.

# 4. VR Trial And Error Will Be A Nightmare

As more and more virtual reality companionships pop up, we’re already starting to see them working to differentiate themselves from each other. Some are trying to appeal to hardcore gamers, some want to attract filthy casuals, one is aiming at people who don’t want brain damage … await, what?

This clarifies so much .

Yep, VR company Magic Leap is boasting that its headset is wholly brain-damage-free. Sure, their competitors’ products might fry your sentiment into a smoldering little ember, but their terribly same one certainly won’t! This does not announce as reassuring as they probably imagined.

While beings said the same about video games, video, and perhaps even pinball machines, this time, the brain-frying dismay has a basis in reality. VR gets your eyes to behave in ways they should not — they’ll go along with it, but there’ll be side effect. Some investigates investigating VR hire cabs for participants after sessions, because after you’ve been in polygon-land for a while, it takes time for “youve got to” relearn how to reach for things that are actually in front of you without overshooting it. It’s hazardous to drive in such a state, but we doubt your console will call an Uber for you if you’re playing alone.

Our good guess of what driving after a VR conference looks like .

Meanwhile, Samsung’s brand-new headset has a huge list of advice, including that if “youre starting” having a seizure, you are able to take it off. After all, it’s expensive engineering — you wouldn’t want to damage it.

Health issues aside, virtual reality likewise elevates complex moral questions. In one Sony VR demo, the simulation forms you flirt with a young-looking maiden, while it’s clear that you’re an old man. At the end of said demo, the developers continue the “No brain damage! ” selling veer by assuring you that the character you were interacting with was definitely give full play to an adult actress.

“Yes, it’s me, Andy Serkis.”

Whether there’s meant to be a wink with that renunciation or not, it heightens a whole legion of questions for what VR should and shouldn’t be allowed to show. Can they get away with a pedophilic simulation if “theyre saying” “No, it’s all actors and actresses”? What about a torturing simulator? What about people watching VR reruns of Two And A Half Men ? These are the hazardous a number of aspects of national societies. But would presenting them virtual simulations eradicate or irritate their predilections? That’s a question we can’t answer right now, but we do know that those in the group watching Two And A Half Men don’t need to worry about any more brain damage.

As we remind you all the time, the future ain’t what it used to be. We have no jetpacks or robot butlers, and we’ve still not improved from Land Wars to Star Wars. The dreamers fell short … but it turns out that some of the cynics came pretty close to the mark. In the same way that no one in the ‘5 0s concluded “millions of strangers across the world inadvertently saw your dick” is to be able to become a realistic difficulty, our near-future is likely to be filled with aggravations that reverberate completely ridiculous to us now.

Here are seven incoming issues that will induce you yearn for an ape and/ or machine insurgency. At least in such a case, you wouldn’t have to was put forward with …

# 7. Your Fitbit Could Be Utilized As Evidence Against You

Any denizen of the digital generation known to be anything you say on the Internet can and will be used against you, specially if it’s humiliating devotee fiction. However, that’s a logical propagation of using written information as evidence, as we’ve done for centuries. The newest channel to incriminate yourself online has much less precedent: the data collected from wearable engineering, such as the Fitbit.

You can run, but you can’t disguise( the fact that you precisely killed a hobo ).

Yes, your invests could send you to jail. It may sound like Law& Order: The Jetsons , but there’s no real reasonablenes this kind of data can’t declared admissible in court. In happening, it’s already happening. A maiden in Pennsylvania announced 911 and claimed that a home invader crimes her, but her Fitbit belied her legend( she was awake and walking around when she said she was fast asleep ). Her own fitness watch helped is proof that she’d pulled the whole story out of her … you know, and now she’s facing misdemeanor accusations.

So wearable tech going to be able to create criminals to justice. That’s good, right? Well, here’s where it gets fishy. There are already “alibi apps” — planneds that secretly enter all your interactions and borders to attest you weren’t( for example) nursing a chandelier in such studies when Colonel Mustard went slapped. Sounds innocent enough, until you remember that there’s a expression for people who intentionally go around launching alibis: “guilty as fuck.” Using this app is a little bit like going up to a polouse and saying, “By the room, I’ll be at the movies this afternoon when my partner gets murdered.”

“I was at the … * looks at watch * OJ Simpson retrospective. FUCK! ”

The idea that people are already anticipating ahead to use their trackers as alibis means that these things will have all sorts of clusterfuck legal potential. What happens when someone compensates a hobo to hold their smartphone( or buckle it to a hound) while they go out and do crimes? Or what if someone borrows your Fitbit to incriminate you? These happens will happen at some object. Hey, maybe that’s why everyone becomes a couch potato in WALL-E . In the future, being fit won’t be worth the hassle.

# 6. The First Commercial Space Shuttles Won’t Have Bathrooms

The future of tripping will involve killing into the stratosphere instead of rolling along the freeway, but that doesn’t represent all family vacation habits will change. “You should’ve been going on you left” is still going to be a common motto, except that in the future, it’s going to be much direr. Why? Because in space, everybody can see you shit.

He’s not being propelled by a spurt .

All of the companies designing foremost commercial space shuttles have been remarkably forgotten Newton’s Fourth Law of Motion: Everybody poops. None of these shuttles include bathrooms. A trip-up to the International Space Station can take between six and 30 hours — that’s a inferno of a long time to “just hamper it, ” dad. Hell, even the earthbound high-speed Hyperloop being developed by Elon Musk lacks a comfort station. Oh, or windows. If you thought acquiring seeing contact with the person or persons sitting in front of you in the train was awkward, delayed until you’re captured in a windowless, toilet-free metal cylinder with someone for hours.

Getting carsick is another tradition that won’t be changing any time soon; in space, it’ll simply get much more intense. There will be no windows to wind down and no side of the road to stain. If you’re shuttle-sick( and let’s face it, “youre supposed to” is likely to be ), your little chunder-cloud is likely to be hanging around, becoming another passenger of the skill. Developers acknowledge that clearing out the odor and attendance of seat vomit will be extremely important, as nothing play around Space Invaders with the substance of your bowels.

# 5. Living Longer Will Make Family Life Really, Really Weird

One of the main benefits of living in the future is that we no longer drop dead at age 40. Now we get to stick around for decades and decades! And decades. And decades . This will eventually have some creepy outcomes in some regions of our( increasingly lengthy) lives, starting with the workplace. To forestall vanquishing the Social Security system, people will be working much longer. Fifty Shades Of Grey won’t simply be a literary masterpiece; it’ll be the lineup behind the counter at your local Starbucks.

“You’ve been taking my ordering for the past three decades. How can you still not spell my reputation right? ”

The job market will become even fiercer as girls fresh out of college have to compete with “midlife re-trainees.” Of track, some people will ever prefer to stay in their professions for life … which will have even more unnerving deductions. Career politicians, judges, and tenured professors might stick around for the better part of a century, as would their old-fashioned thoughts. Remember Supreme Court Justice James McReynolds, the old mongrel who spent a good glob of the 20 th century effectively pushing back against every type of social change? Now sees a Highlander version of that guy.

It get weirder. Grey becoming the brand-new black will absolutely shift what we think of as pedigree. With longer lifespans and later union ages, we’ll have more grandparents to take care of and fewer brothers and sisters to share that quantity. Family reunions will transform into an enraged syndicate of cybernetic geriatrics telling kids to stay off the lawn. Instead of robust family trees, we’ll have rickety family beanstalks.

“A toast to great-great-grandma Mary, who went to the bathroom at Thanksgiving and hasn’t am coming yet.”

Living longer will even change the very notion of matrimony — or marriages. Single lifelong unions will become more demanding, so psychologists predict that unions might become less “until death do us apart” and more “until we get bored of each other in a few decades.” Older couples who would decide to condone one another if they only had 15 years left to live might say “Screw this, I’m out” when they realises they have 50 instead.

Finally, with all the pressure living to three digits gives on matters of employment and housing sells, leaving the nest will have to be delayed. So you don’t have to be ashamed about construe Cracked at 35 in your mother’s basement; you’re simply ahead of the curve.

# 4. VR Trial And Error Will Be A Nightmare

As more and more virtual reality firms pop up, we’re already starting to see them working to differentiate themselves from one another. Some are trying to appeal to hardcore gamers, some want to attract filthy casuals, one is aiming at people who don’t want brain damage … waiting, what?

This shows so much .

Yep, VR company Magic Leap is boasting that its headset is absolutely brain-damage-free. Sure, their competitors’ commodities might fry your intellect into a smoldering little ember, but their particularly same one certainly won’t! This does not sound as reassuring as they probably imagined.

While beings said the same about video games, television, and perhaps even pinball machines, this time, the brain-frying fright has a basis in reality. VR gets your eyes to behave in ways they should not — they’ll go along with it, but there’ll be side effects. Some investigates analyzing VR hire cabs for participants after conferences, because after you’ve been in polygon-land for a while, it takes time for “youve got to” relearn how to reach for acts that are actually in front of you without overshooting it. It’s hazardous to drive in such a state, but we doubt your console will call an Uber for you if you’re playing alone.

Our best guess of what driving after a VR seminar looks like .

Meanwhile, Samsung’s new headset has a huge list of admonishings, including the right if you start having a seizure, you are able to take it off. After all, it’s expensive engineering — you wouldn’t want to damage it.

Health editions aside, virtual reality also promotes complex moral difficulties. In one Sony VR demo, the pretending stirs you flirt with a young-looking wife, while it’s clear that you’re an old boy. At the end of said demo, the developers continue the “No brain damage! ” selling veer by assuring you that the character you were interacting with was definitely played by young adults actress.

“Yes, it’s me, Andy Serkis.”

Whether there’s meant to be a wink with that disclaimer or not, it causes a whole host of questions for what VR should and shouldn’t be allowed to show. Can they get away with a pedophilic simulation if they say “No, it’s all actors and actresses”? What about a anguish simulator? What about people watching VR reruns of Two And A Half Men ? These are the hazardous a number of aspects of national societies. But would affording them virtual simulations eradicate or irritate their tendencies? That’s a question we can’t answer right now, but we do know that those in the group watching Two And A Half Men don’t need to worry about any more brain damage.

The post 7 Insane Trouble We’ll Have To Deal With In The Future appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[apsbicepstraining]

7 Insane Trouble We’ll Have To Deal With In The Future

As we remind you all the time, the future ain’t what it used to be. We have no jetpacks or robot butlers, and we’ve still not upgraded from Land Wars to Star Wars. The dreamers fell short … but it is about to change that some of the pessimists came pretty close to the mark. In the same method that no one in the ‘5 0s envisaged “millions of strangers across the world inadvertently saw your dick” is to be able to become a realistic question, our near-future is likely to be filled with aggravations that chime completely ridiculous to us now.

Here are seven incoming issues that will acquire you yearn for an ape and/ or machine insurgency. At least in such a case, you wouldn’t have to put up with …

# 7. Your Fitbit Could Be Utilized As Evidence Against You

Any denizen of the digital generation knows that anything you say on the Internet can and will be used against you, specially if it’s embarrassing love story. However, that’s a logical propagation of using written material as evidence, as we’ve done for centuries. The newest road to incriminate yourself online has far less precedent: the data collected from wearable engineering, such as the Fitbit.

You can run, but you can’t secrete( the fact that you only killed a hobo ).

Yes, your clothes could send you to jail. It may sound like Law& Order: The Jetsons , but there’s no real reason this kind of data can’t be admissible in tribunal. In happening, it’s already happening. A maiden in Pennsylvania called 911 and claimed that a home invader abused her, but her Fitbit denied her story( she was awake and walking around when she said she was fast asleep ). Her own fitness watch facilitated is proof that she’d attracted the whole story out of her … you know, and now she’s facing misdemeanor charges.

So wearable tech can help make the offender to right. That’s good, right? Well, here’s where it gets fishy. There are already “alibi apps” — planneds that secretly enter all your interactions and circumvents to prove you weren’t( for example) propping a chandelier in the study when Colonel Mustard went whacked. Sounds innocent enough, until you remember that there’s a term for people who intentionally go around establishing alibis: “guilty as fuck.” Using this app is a little bit like going up to a policeman and saying, “By the direction, I’ll be at the movies this afternoon when my bride gets murdered.”

“I was at the … * looks at watch * OJ Simpson retrospective. FUCK! ”

The idea that people are already reputing onward to use their trackers as alibis means that these things will have all sorts of clusterfuck legal capability. What happens when someone offer a hobo to hold their smartphone( or straps it to a bird-dog) while they go out and do violations? Or what if someone acquires your Fitbit to incriminate you? These occasions will happen at some object. Hey, maybe that’s why everyone was becoming couch potato in WALL-E . In the future, being fit won’t is worthy of the hassle.

# 6. The First Commercial Space Shuttles Won’t Have Bathrooms

The future of tripping will involve hitting into the stratosphere instead of wheeling along the route, but that doesn’t necessitate all family vacation traditions will change. “You should’ve gone before you left” is still about to become a common phrase, except that in the future, it’s going to get much direr. Why? Because in space, everybody can see you shit.

He’s not being propelled by a plane .

All of the companies designing prominent commercial-grade space shuttles have clearly forgotten Newton’s Fourth Law of Motion: Everybody poops. None of these shuttles include showers. A excursion to the International Space Station can take between six and 30 hours — that’s a hell of a long time to “just hamper it, ” dad. Hell, even the earthbound high-speed Hyperloop being developed by Elon Musk lacks a comfort station. Oh, or windows. If you thought making gaze contact with the person or persons sitting in front of you in the instruct was tricky, wait until you’re captured in a windowless, toilet-free metallic cylinder with person for hours.

Getting carsick is another tradition that won’t be changing any time soon; in space, it’ll plainly get much more intense. There will be no spaces to wind down and no back of the road to stain. If you’re shuttle-sick( and let’s face it, “youre supposed to” is likely to be ), your little chunder-cloud will be hanging around, becoming another passenger of the aircraft. Developers acknowledge that clearing out the odor and existence of opening vomit will be extremely important, as none play around Space Invaders with the substance of your bowels.

# 5. Living Longer Will Make Family Life Really, Really Weird

One of the main benefits of living in the future is that we no longer drop dead at age 40. Now we get to stick around for decades and decades! And decades. And decades . This will ultimately have some bizarre impacts in some regions of our( increasingly lengthy) lives, starting with the workplace. To evade vanquishing the Social Security system, people will be working long long. Fifty Shades Of Grey won’t only has become a literary masterpiece; it’ll be the lineup behind the bar at your neighbourhood Starbucks.

“You’ve been taking my ordering for the past three decades. How can you still not spell my reputation right? ”

The job market will become even fiercer as girls fresh out of college have to compete with “midlife re-trainees.” Of trend, some people will ever prefer to stay in their occupations for life … which will have even more frightening ramifications. Career politicians, judges, and tenured academics might stick around for the better part of a century, as would their old-fashioned feelings. Remember Supreme Court Justice James McReynolds, the old-time mongrel who spent a good hunk of the 20 th century effectively pushing back against every type of social change? Now thoughts a Highlander version of that guy.

It gets weirder. Grey growing the new pitch-black will altogether alter which is something we think about as clas. With longer lifespans and later marriage ages, we’ll have more grandparents to take care of and fewer brothers and sisters to share that load. Family reunions will transform into an indignant mob of cybernetic geriatrics telling kids to stay off the lawn. Instead of robust family tree, we’ll have rickety family beanstalks.

“A toast to great-great-grandma Mary, who went to the shower at Thanksgiving and hasn’t am coming yet.”

Living longer will even change the very notion of wedlock — or marriages. Single lifelong organizations will become more demanding, so psychologists predict that weddings might become less “until death do us apart” and more “until we get bored of each other in a few decades.” Older pairs who would decide to condone each other if they only had 15 years left to live might say “Screw this, I’m out” when they recognises they have 50 instead.

Finally, with all the pressure living to three digits throws on matters of employment and housing marketplaces, leaving the nest will have to be delayed. So you don’t have to be ashamed about interpret Cracked at 35 in your mother’s basement; you’re merely ahead of the curve.

# 4. VR Trial And Error Will Be A Nightmare

As more and more virtual reality companionships pop up, we’re already starting to see them working to differentiate themselves from each other. Some are trying to appeal to hardcore gamers, some want to attract filthy casuals, one is aiming at people who don’t want brain damage … await, what?

This clarifies so much .

Yep, VR company Magic Leap is boasting that its headset is wholly brain-damage-free. Sure, their competitors’ products might fry your sentiment into a smoldering little ember, but their terribly same one certainly won’t! This does not announce as reassuring as they probably imagined.

While beings said the same about video games, video, and perhaps even pinball machines, this time, the brain-frying dismay has a basis in reality. VR gets your eyes to behave in ways they should not — they’ll go along with it, but there’ll be side effect. Some investigates investigating VR hire cabs for participants after sessions, because after you’ve been in polygon-land for a while, it takes time for “youve got to” relearn how to reach for things that are actually in front of you without overshooting it. It’s hazardous to drive in such a state, but we doubt your console will call an Uber for you if you’re playing alone.

Our good guess of what driving after a VR conference looks like .

Meanwhile, Samsung’s brand-new headset has a huge list of advice, including that if “youre starting” having a seizure, you are able to take it off. After all, it’s expensive engineering — you wouldn’t want to damage it.

Health issues aside, virtual reality likewise elevates complex moral questions. In one Sony VR demo, the simulation forms you flirt with a young-looking maiden, while it’s clear that you’re an old man. At the end of said demo, the developers continue the “No brain damage! ” selling veer by assuring you that the character you were interacting with was definitely give full play to an adult actress.

“Yes, it’s me, Andy Serkis.”

Whether there’s meant to be a wink with that renunciation or not, it heightens a whole legion of questions for what VR should and shouldn’t be allowed to show. Can they get away with a pedophilic simulation if “theyre saying” “No, it’s all actors and actresses”? What about a torturing simulator? What about people watching VR reruns of Two And A Half Men ? These are the hazardous a number of aspects of national societies. But would presenting them virtual simulations eradicate or irritate their predilections? That’s a question we can’t answer right now, but we do know that those in the group watching Two And A Half Men don’t need to worry about any more brain damage.

As we remind you all the time, the future ain’t what it used to be. We have no jetpacks or robot butlers, and we’ve still not improved from Land Wars to Star Wars. The dreamers fell short … but it turns out that some of the cynics came pretty close to the mark. In the same way that no one in the ‘5 0s concluded “millions of strangers across the world inadvertently saw your dick” is to be able to become a realistic difficulty, our near-future is likely to be filled with aggravations that reverberate completely ridiculous to us now.

Here are seven incoming issues that will induce you yearn for an ape and/ or machine insurgency. At least in such a case, you wouldn’t have to was put forward with …

# 7. Your Fitbit Could Be Utilized As Evidence Against You

Any denizen of the digital generation known to be anything you say on the Internet can and will be used against you, specially if it’s humiliating devotee fiction. However, that’s a logical propagation of using written information as evidence, as we’ve done for centuries. The newest channel to incriminate yourself online has much less precedent: the data collected from wearable engineering, such as the Fitbit.

You can run, but you can’t disguise( the fact that you precisely killed a hobo ).

Yes, your invests could send you to jail. It may sound like Law& Order: The Jetsons , but there’s no real reasonablenes this kind of data can’t declared admissible in court. In happening, it’s already happening. A maiden in Pennsylvania announced 911 and claimed that a home invader crimes her, but her Fitbit belied her legend( she was awake and walking around when she said she was fast asleep ). Her own fitness watch helped is proof that she’d pulled the whole story out of her … you know, and now she’s facing misdemeanor accusations.

So wearable tech going to be able to create criminals to justice. That’s good, right? Well, here’s where it gets fishy. There are already “alibi apps” — planneds that secretly enter all your interactions and borders to attest you weren’t( for example) nursing a chandelier in such studies when Colonel Mustard went slapped. Sounds innocent enough, until you remember that there’s a expression for people who intentionally go around launching alibis: “guilty as fuck.” Using this app is a little bit like going up to a polouse and saying, “By the room, I’ll be at the movies this afternoon when my partner gets murdered.”

“I was at the … * looks at watch * OJ Simpson retrospective. FUCK! ”

The idea that people are already anticipating ahead to use their trackers as alibis means that these things will have all sorts of clusterfuck legal potential. What happens when someone compensates a hobo to hold their smartphone( or buckle it to a hound) while they go out and do crimes? Or what if someone borrows your Fitbit to incriminate you? These happens will happen at some object. Hey, maybe that’s why everyone becomes a couch potato in WALL-E . In the future, being fit won’t be worth the hassle.

# 6. The First Commercial Space Shuttles Won’t Have Bathrooms

The future of tripping will involve killing into the stratosphere instead of rolling along the freeway, but that doesn’t represent all family vacation habits will change. “You should’ve been going on you left” is still going to be a common motto, except that in the future, it’s going to be much direr. Why? Because in space, everybody can see you shit.

He’s not being propelled by a spurt .

All of the companies designing foremost commercial space shuttles have been remarkably forgotten Newton’s Fourth Law of Motion: Everybody poops. None of these shuttles include bathrooms. A trip-up to the International Space Station can take between six and 30 hours — that’s a inferno of a long time to “just hamper it, ” dad. Hell, even the earthbound high-speed Hyperloop being developed by Elon Musk lacks a comfort station. Oh, or windows. If you thought acquiring seeing contact with the person or persons sitting in front of you in the train was awkward, delayed until you’re captured in a windowless, toilet-free metal cylinder with someone for hours.

Getting carsick is another tradition that won’t be changing any time soon; in space, it’ll simply get much more intense. There will be no windows to wind down and no side of the road to stain. If you’re shuttle-sick( and let’s face it, “youre supposed to” is likely to be ), your little chunder-cloud is likely to be hanging around, becoming another passenger of the skill. Developers acknowledge that clearing out the odor and attendance of seat vomit will be extremely important, as nothing play around Space Invaders with the substance of your bowels.

# 5. Living Longer Will Make Family Life Really, Really Weird

One of the main benefits of living in the future is that we no longer drop dead at age 40. Now we get to stick around for decades and decades! And decades. And decades . This will eventually have some creepy outcomes in some regions of our( increasingly lengthy) lives, starting with the workplace. To forestall vanquishing the Social Security system, people will be working much longer. Fifty Shades Of Grey won’t simply be a literary masterpiece; it’ll be the lineup behind the counter at your local Starbucks.

“You’ve been taking my ordering for the past three decades. How can you still not spell my reputation right? ”

The job market will become even fiercer as girls fresh out of college have to compete with “midlife re-trainees.” Of track, some people will ever prefer to stay in their professions for life … which will have even more unnerving deductions. Career politicians, judges, and tenured professors might stick around for the better part of a century, as would their old-fashioned thoughts. Remember Supreme Court Justice James McReynolds, the old mongrel who spent a good glob of the 20 th century effectively pushing back against every type of social change? Now sees a Highlander version of that guy.

It get weirder. Grey becoming the brand-new black will absolutely shift what we think of as pedigree. With longer lifespans and later union ages, we’ll have more grandparents to take care of and fewer brothers and sisters to share that quantity. Family reunions will transform into an enraged syndicate of cybernetic geriatrics telling kids to stay off the lawn. Instead of robust family trees, we’ll have rickety family beanstalks.

“A toast to great-great-grandma Mary, who went to the bathroom at Thanksgiving and hasn’t am coming yet.”

Living longer will even change the very notion of matrimony — or marriages. Single lifelong unions will become more demanding, so psychologists predict that unions might become less “until death do us apart” and more “until we get bored of each other in a few decades.” Older couples who would decide to condone one another if they only had 15 years left to live might say “Screw this, I’m out” when they realises they have 50 instead.

Finally, with all the pressure living to three digits gives on matters of employment and housing sells, leaving the nest will have to be delayed. So you don’t have to be ashamed about construe Cracked at 35 in your mother’s basement; you’re simply ahead of the curve.

# 4. VR Trial And Error Will Be A Nightmare

As more and more virtual reality firms pop up, we’re already starting to see them working to differentiate themselves from one another. Some are trying to appeal to hardcore gamers, some want to attract filthy casuals, one is aiming at people who don’t want brain damage … waiting, what?

This shows so much .

Yep, VR company Magic Leap is boasting that its headset is absolutely brain-damage-free. Sure, their competitors’ commodities might fry your intellect into a smoldering little ember, but their particularly same one certainly won’t! This does not sound as reassuring as they probably imagined.

While beings said the same about video games, television, and perhaps even pinball machines, this time, the brain-frying fright has a basis in reality. VR gets your eyes to behave in ways they should not — they’ll go along with it, but there’ll be side effects. Some investigates analyzing VR hire cabs for participants after conferences, because after you’ve been in polygon-land for a while, it takes time for “youve got to” relearn how to reach for acts that are actually in front of you without overshooting it. It’s hazardous to drive in such a state, but we doubt your console will call an Uber for you if you’re playing alone.

Our best guess of what driving after a VR seminar looks like .

Meanwhile, Samsung’s new headset has a huge list of admonishings, including the right if you start having a seizure, you are able to take it off. After all, it’s expensive engineering — you wouldn’t want to damage it.

Health editions aside, virtual reality also promotes complex moral difficulties. In one Sony VR demo, the pretending stirs you flirt with a young-looking wife, while it’s clear that you’re an old boy. At the end of said demo, the developers continue the “No brain damage! ” selling veer by assuring you that the character you were interacting with was definitely played by young adults actress.

“Yes, it’s me, Andy Serkis.”

Whether there’s meant to be a wink with that disclaimer or not, it causes a whole host of questions for what VR should and shouldn’t be allowed to show. Can they get away with a pedophilic simulation if they say “No, it’s all actors and actresses”? What about a anguish simulator? What about people watching VR reruns of Two And A Half Men ? These are the hazardous a number of aspects of national societies. But would affording them virtual simulations eradicate or irritate their tendencies? That’s a question we can’t answer right now, but we do know that those in the group watching Two And A Half Men don’t need to worry about any more brain damage.

The post 7 Insane Trouble We’ll Have To Deal With In The Future appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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7 Insane Trouble We’ll Have To Deal With In The Future

As we remind you all the time, the future ain’t what it used to be. We have no jetpacks or robot butlers, and we’ve still not upgraded from Land Wars to Star Wars. The dreamers fell short … but it is about to change that some of the pessimists came pretty close to the mark. In the same method that no one in the ‘5 0s envisaged “millions of strangers across the world inadvertently saw your dick” is to be able to become a realistic question, our near-future is likely to be filled with aggravations that chime completely ridiculous to us now.

Here are seven incoming issues that will acquire you yearn for an ape and/ or machine insurgency. At least in such a case, you wouldn’t have to put up with …

# 7. Your Fitbit Could Be Utilized As Evidence Against You

Any denizen of the digital generation knows that anything you say on the Internet can and will be used against you, specially if it’s embarrassing love story. However, that’s a logical propagation of using written material as evidence, as we’ve done for centuries. The newest road to incriminate yourself online has far less precedent: the data collected from wearable engineering, such as the Fitbit.

You can run, but you can’t secrete( the fact that you only killed a hobo ).

Yes, your clothes could send you to jail. It may sound like Law& Order: The Jetsons , but there’s no real reason this kind of data can’t be admissible in tribunal. In happening, it’s already happening. A maiden in Pennsylvania called 911 and claimed that a home invader abused her, but her Fitbit denied her story( she was awake and walking around when she said she was fast asleep ). Her own fitness watch facilitated is proof that she’d attracted the whole story out of her … you know, and now she’s facing misdemeanor charges.

So wearable tech can help make the offender to right. That’s good, right? Well, here’s where it gets fishy. There are already “alibi apps” — planneds that secretly enter all your interactions and circumvents to prove you weren’t( for example) propping a chandelier in the study when Colonel Mustard went whacked. Sounds innocent enough, until you remember that there’s a term for people who intentionally go around establishing alibis: “guilty as fuck.” Using this app is a little bit like going up to a policeman and saying, “By the direction, I’ll be at the movies this afternoon when my bride gets murdered.”

“I was at the … * looks at watch * OJ Simpson retrospective. FUCK! ”

The idea that people are already reputing onward to use their trackers as alibis means that these things will have all sorts of clusterfuck legal capability. What happens when someone offer a hobo to hold their smartphone( or straps it to a bird-dog) while they go out and do violations? Or what if someone acquires your Fitbit to incriminate you? These occasions will happen at some object. Hey, maybe that’s why everyone was becoming couch potato in WALL-E . In the future, being fit won’t is worthy of the hassle.

# 6. The First Commercial Space Shuttles Won’t Have Bathrooms

The future of tripping will involve hitting into the stratosphere instead of wheeling along the route, but that doesn’t necessitate all family vacation traditions will change. “You should’ve gone before you left” is still about to become a common phrase, except that in the future, it’s going to get much direr. Why? Because in space, everybody can see you shit.

He’s not being propelled by a plane .

All of the companies designing prominent commercial-grade space shuttles have clearly forgotten Newton’s Fourth Law of Motion: Everybody poops. None of these shuttles include showers. A excursion to the International Space Station can take between six and 30 hours — that’s a hell of a long time to “just hamper it, ” dad. Hell, even the earthbound high-speed Hyperloop being developed by Elon Musk lacks a comfort station. Oh, or windows. If you thought making gaze contact with the person or persons sitting in front of you in the instruct was tricky, wait until you’re captured in a windowless, toilet-free metallic cylinder with person for hours.

Getting carsick is another tradition that won’t be changing any time soon; in space, it’ll plainly get much more intense. There will be no spaces to wind down and no back of the road to stain. If you’re shuttle-sick( and let’s face it, “youre supposed to” is likely to be ), your little chunder-cloud will be hanging around, becoming another passenger of the aircraft. Developers acknowledge that clearing out the odor and existence of opening vomit will be extremely important, as none play around Space Invaders with the substance of your bowels.

# 5. Living Longer Will Make Family Life Really, Really Weird

One of the main benefits of living in the future is that we no longer drop dead at age 40. Now we get to stick around for decades and decades! And decades. And decades . This will ultimately have some bizarre impacts in some regions of our( increasingly lengthy) lives, starting with the workplace. To evade vanquishing the Social Security system, people will be working long long. Fifty Shades Of Grey won’t only has become a literary masterpiece; it’ll be the lineup behind the bar at your neighbourhood Starbucks.

“You’ve been taking my ordering for the past three decades. How can you still not spell my reputation right? ”

The job market will become even fiercer as girls fresh out of college have to compete with “midlife re-trainees.” Of trend, some people will ever prefer to stay in their occupations for life … which will have even more frightening ramifications. Career politicians, judges, and tenured academics might stick around for the better part of a century, as would their old-fashioned feelings. Remember Supreme Court Justice James McReynolds, the old-time mongrel who spent a good hunk of the 20 th century effectively pushing back against every type of social change? Now thoughts a Highlander version of that guy.

It gets weirder. Grey growing the new pitch-black will altogether alter which is something we think about as clas. With longer lifespans and later marriage ages, we’ll have more grandparents to take care of and fewer brothers and sisters to share that load. Family reunions will transform into an indignant mob of cybernetic geriatrics telling kids to stay off the lawn. Instead of robust family tree, we’ll have rickety family beanstalks.

“A toast to great-great-grandma Mary, who went to the shower at Thanksgiving and hasn’t am coming yet.”

Living longer will even change the very notion of wedlock — or marriages. Single lifelong organizations will become more demanding, so psychologists predict that weddings might become less “until death do us apart” and more “until we get bored of each other in a few decades.” Older pairs who would decide to condone each other if they only had 15 years left to live might say “Screw this, I’m out” when they recognises they have 50 instead.

Finally, with all the pressure living to three digits throws on matters of employment and housing marketplaces, leaving the nest will have to be delayed. So you don’t have to be ashamed about interpret Cracked at 35 in your mother’s basement; you’re merely ahead of the curve.

# 4. VR Trial And Error Will Be A Nightmare

As more and more virtual reality companionships pop up, we’re already starting to see them working to differentiate themselves from each other. Some are trying to appeal to hardcore gamers, some want to attract filthy casuals, one is aiming at people who don’t want brain damage … await, what?

This clarifies so much .

Yep, VR company Magic Leap is boasting that its headset is wholly brain-damage-free. Sure, their competitors’ products might fry your sentiment into a smoldering little ember, but their terribly same one certainly won’t! This does not announce as reassuring as they probably imagined.

While beings said the same about video games, video, and perhaps even pinball machines, this time, the brain-frying dismay has a basis in reality. VR gets your eyes to behave in ways they should not — they’ll go along with it, but there’ll be side effect. Some investigates investigating VR hire cabs for participants after sessions, because after you’ve been in polygon-land for a while, it takes time for “youve got to” relearn how to reach for things that are actually in front of you without overshooting it. It’s hazardous to drive in such a state, but we doubt your console will call an Uber for you if you’re playing alone.

Our good guess of what driving after a VR conference looks like .

Meanwhile, Samsung’s brand-new headset has a huge list of advice, including that if “youre starting” having a seizure, you are able to take it off. After all, it’s expensive engineering — you wouldn’t want to damage it.

Health issues aside, virtual reality likewise elevates complex moral questions. In one Sony VR demo, the simulation forms you flirt with a young-looking maiden, while it’s clear that you’re an old man. At the end of said demo, the developers continue the “No brain damage! ” selling veer by assuring you that the character you were interacting with was definitely give full play to an adult actress.

“Yes, it’s me, Andy Serkis.”

Whether there’s meant to be a wink with that renunciation or not, it heightens a whole legion of questions for what VR should and shouldn’t be allowed to show. Can they get away with a pedophilic simulation if “theyre saying” “No, it’s all actors and actresses”? What about a torturing simulator? What about people watching VR reruns of Two And A Half Men ? These are the hazardous a number of aspects of national societies. But would presenting them virtual simulations eradicate or irritate their predilections? That’s a question we can’t answer right now, but we do know that those in the group watching Two And A Half Men don’t need to worry about any more brain damage.

As we remind you all the time, the future ain’t what it used to be. We have no jetpacks or robot butlers, and we’ve still not improved from Land Wars to Star Wars. The dreamers fell short … but it turns out that some of the cynics came pretty close to the mark. In the same way that no one in the ‘5 0s concluded “millions of strangers across the world inadvertently saw your dick” is to be able to become a realistic difficulty, our near-future is likely to be filled with aggravations that reverberate completely ridiculous to us now.

Here are seven incoming issues that will induce you yearn for an ape and/ or machine insurgency. At least in such a case, you wouldn’t have to was put forward with …

# 7. Your Fitbit Could Be Utilized As Evidence Against You

Any denizen of the digital generation known to be anything you say on the Internet can and will be used against you, specially if it’s humiliating devotee fiction. However, that’s a logical propagation of using written information as evidence, as we’ve done for centuries. The newest channel to incriminate yourself online has much less precedent: the data collected from wearable engineering, such as the Fitbit.

You can run, but you can’t disguise( the fact that you precisely killed a hobo ).

Yes, your invests could send you to jail. It may sound like Law& Order: The Jetsons , but there’s no real reasonablenes this kind of data can’t declared admissible in court. In happening, it’s already happening. A maiden in Pennsylvania announced 911 and claimed that a home invader crimes her, but her Fitbit belied her legend( she was awake and walking around when she said she was fast asleep ). Her own fitness watch helped is proof that she’d pulled the whole story out of her … you know, and now she’s facing misdemeanor accusations.

So wearable tech going to be able to create criminals to justice. That’s good, right? Well, here’s where it gets fishy. There are already “alibi apps” — planneds that secretly enter all your interactions and borders to attest you weren’t( for example) nursing a chandelier in such studies when Colonel Mustard went slapped. Sounds innocent enough, until you remember that there’s a expression for people who intentionally go around launching alibis: “guilty as fuck.” Using this app is a little bit like going up to a polouse and saying, “By the room, I’ll be at the movies this afternoon when my partner gets murdered.”

“I was at the … * looks at watch * OJ Simpson retrospective. FUCK! ”

The idea that people are already anticipating ahead to use their trackers as alibis means that these things will have all sorts of clusterfuck legal potential. What happens when someone compensates a hobo to hold their smartphone( or buckle it to a hound) while they go out and do crimes? Or what if someone borrows your Fitbit to incriminate you? These happens will happen at some object. Hey, maybe that’s why everyone becomes a couch potato in WALL-E . In the future, being fit won’t be worth the hassle.

# 6. The First Commercial Space Shuttles Won’t Have Bathrooms

The future of tripping will involve killing into the stratosphere instead of rolling along the freeway, but that doesn’t represent all family vacation habits will change. “You should’ve been going on you left” is still going to be a common motto, except that in the future, it’s going to be much direr. Why? Because in space, everybody can see you shit.

He’s not being propelled by a spurt .

All of the companies designing foremost commercial space shuttles have been remarkably forgotten Newton’s Fourth Law of Motion: Everybody poops. None of these shuttles include bathrooms. A trip-up to the International Space Station can take between six and 30 hours — that’s a inferno of a long time to “just hamper it, ” dad. Hell, even the earthbound high-speed Hyperloop being developed by Elon Musk lacks a comfort station. Oh, or windows. If you thought acquiring seeing contact with the person or persons sitting in front of you in the train was awkward, delayed until you’re captured in a windowless, toilet-free metal cylinder with someone for hours.

Getting carsick is another tradition that won’t be changing any time soon; in space, it’ll simply get much more intense. There will be no windows to wind down and no side of the road to stain. If you’re shuttle-sick( and let’s face it, “youre supposed to” is likely to be ), your little chunder-cloud is likely to be hanging around, becoming another passenger of the skill. Developers acknowledge that clearing out the odor and attendance of seat vomit will be extremely important, as nothing play around Space Invaders with the substance of your bowels.

# 5. Living Longer Will Make Family Life Really, Really Weird

One of the main benefits of living in the future is that we no longer drop dead at age 40. Now we get to stick around for decades and decades! And decades. And decades . This will eventually have some creepy outcomes in some regions of our( increasingly lengthy) lives, starting with the workplace. To forestall vanquishing the Social Security system, people will be working much longer. Fifty Shades Of Grey won’t simply be a literary masterpiece; it’ll be the lineup behind the counter at your local Starbucks.

“You’ve been taking my ordering for the past three decades. How can you still not spell my reputation right? ”

The job market will become even fiercer as girls fresh out of college have to compete with “midlife re-trainees.” Of track, some people will ever prefer to stay in their professions for life … which will have even more unnerving deductions. Career politicians, judges, and tenured professors might stick around for the better part of a century, as would their old-fashioned thoughts. Remember Supreme Court Justice James McReynolds, the old mongrel who spent a good glob of the 20 th century effectively pushing back against every type of social change? Now sees a Highlander version of that guy.

It get weirder. Grey becoming the brand-new black will absolutely shift what we think of as pedigree. With longer lifespans and later union ages, we’ll have more grandparents to take care of and fewer brothers and sisters to share that quantity. Family reunions will transform into an enraged syndicate of cybernetic geriatrics telling kids to stay off the lawn. Instead of robust family trees, we’ll have rickety family beanstalks.

“A toast to great-great-grandma Mary, who went to the bathroom at Thanksgiving and hasn’t am coming yet.”

Living longer will even change the very notion of matrimony — or marriages. Single lifelong unions will become more demanding, so psychologists predict that unions might become less “until death do us apart” and more “until we get bored of each other in a few decades.” Older couples who would decide to condone one another if they only had 15 years left to live might say “Screw this, I’m out” when they realises they have 50 instead.

Finally, with all the pressure living to three digits gives on matters of employment and housing sells, leaving the nest will have to be delayed. So you don’t have to be ashamed about construe Cracked at 35 in your mother’s basement; you’re simply ahead of the curve.

# 4. VR Trial And Error Will Be A Nightmare

As more and more virtual reality firms pop up, we’re already starting to see them working to differentiate themselves from one another. Some are trying to appeal to hardcore gamers, some want to attract filthy casuals, one is aiming at people who don’t want brain damage … waiting, what?

This shows so much .

Yep, VR company Magic Leap is boasting that its headset is absolutely brain-damage-free. Sure, their competitors’ commodities might fry your intellect into a smoldering little ember, but their particularly same one certainly won’t! This does not sound as reassuring as they probably imagined.

While beings said the same about video games, television, and perhaps even pinball machines, this time, the brain-frying fright has a basis in reality. VR gets your eyes to behave in ways they should not — they’ll go along with it, but there’ll be side effects. Some investigates analyzing VR hire cabs for participants after conferences, because after you’ve been in polygon-land for a while, it takes time for “youve got to” relearn how to reach for acts that are actually in front of you without overshooting it. It’s hazardous to drive in such a state, but we doubt your console will call an Uber for you if you’re playing alone.

Our best guess of what driving after a VR seminar looks like .

Meanwhile, Samsung’s new headset has a huge list of admonishings, including the right if you start having a seizure, you are able to take it off. After all, it’s expensive engineering — you wouldn’t want to damage it.

Health editions aside, virtual reality also promotes complex moral difficulties. In one Sony VR demo, the pretending stirs you flirt with a young-looking wife, while it’s clear that you’re an old boy. At the end of said demo, the developers continue the “No brain damage! ” selling veer by assuring you that the character you were interacting with was definitely played by young adults actress.

“Yes, it’s me, Andy Serkis.”

Whether there’s meant to be a wink with that disclaimer or not, it causes a whole host of questions for what VR should and shouldn’t be allowed to show. Can they get away with a pedophilic simulation if they say “No, it’s all actors and actresses”? What about a anguish simulator? What about people watching VR reruns of Two And A Half Men ? These are the hazardous a number of aspects of national societies. But would affording them virtual simulations eradicate or irritate their tendencies? That’s a question we can’t answer right now, but we do know that those in the group watching Two And A Half Men don’t need to worry about any more brain damage.

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