#when she gives feedback she always puts effort into making it hurt

[crabussy]

I want to take a bite out of someone's arm but I'm too shy

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

Full HC: MC becomes an author and starts writing memoirs detailing their adventures with their beloved; how do the M6 react? How do they try to help?

The Arcana HCs: When MC writes their love story

Julian

Waaay too invested. Come on. You're writing memoirs about the dramatic, life-changing, whirlwind saving-the-world story that's been your romance? Be still his theatre kid heart

Will ask regularly if you've written anything more and set time aside to read whatever you share with him. Often does so out loud, to whichever patient/clinic assistant/bar patron is nearby

Cannot handle how fondly you describe him

People regularly ask to hear him read the latest installment, just for the sight of the infamous Dr Devorak blushing and stumbling over his words, voice cracking at your loving view of him

This does not stop him from suggesting changes. Specifically, suggesting embellishments. What do you mean the Devil wasn't twenty feet tall? Surely you're misremembering how big he was

Doesn't pressure you to rush your work at all, but is living in perpetual (self-inflicted) purgatory waiting for the story to be finished and to see the book published

Has a spot preemptively saved for it on his library shelf

Coincidentally, half the city plans to preorder it as well

Asra

Their curiosity is killing them, but they value your privacy and creative freedom way too much to ask to see what you're writing

The most he does is offer encouragement, compliments, and help

What you don't see is the sheer level of loving gratitude that they feel about what you're doing. They've accepted your previous memory loss, and have been happy to hold your memories for you

But the fact that you treasure the memories you share with him now so much that you're putting in the hours and effort it takes to preserve them for the future ...

It's enough to overwhelm them, sometimes, which can make them seem distant about the project (though you know them well enough at this point to see that this means they're emotional)

Very good at giving you the emotional support you need for a project like this, especially when you have to relive some of the harder parts of your shared history

Always happy to help you remember the details of how something went. He started remembering things for both of you after you came back, and it makes for some tender conversations

Nadia

Honored. That's mostly what she feels - deeply honored

And a little unsure of how best to support you while you go about your endeavor. Her instinct is to get as involved with it as possible, making sure you have all the resources for success you could need

But she's also aware that this is a very personal thing for you to do, and that the point of it is to write things down from your point of view. This is your project, so she should probably stay out of it ...

Well, offering you her help and "casually" bringing by new supplies every couple days shouldn't hurt

If you didn't have it already, you've got a writing room, strong boundaries around your creative time, only the best ink and parchment, and access to dictionaries and thesauruses galore

Will light up and drop everything if you give her some of what you've written to read over. She's fascinated by your perception of the world (and her) and enjoys learning more about it

She's also extremely knowledgeable about spelling, grammar, and sentence structure, so unless you clarify that you're not asking for feedback you'll get plenty of suggested corrections

Muriel

He's a little ... embarrassed

Don't get him wrong. He loves that you're doing what you're doing, and deep down he'd fight the world to let you keep doing it

But half the time he catches a glimpse of the page you're writing he can see his own name spelled out multiple times in there and it makes him feel much more perceived than he is used to

He feels like what you're doing is almost holy, though

So much of his life was defined by losing his history, his connections, his chance to share memories with a family

And now here you are, putting hours upon hours into documenting the history and family you've built together and found in each other, until your story no longer depends on being alive to tell it

Which is why he'll dote on you while you work, bringing you water and snacks, ink refills and spare pages, making sure your workspace is well-lit and the temperature is comfortable

He wants to honor what you're doing

He's also very interested in reading it, but he's not going to ask. He'll just linger nearby in case you have a question or something ...

Portia

Her first thought is to offer to co-author it

Think about it - you two could write alternating chapters, with the story line switching between your two perspectives!

She's completely understanding if you say no, but she might try to use that to get you to agree to letting her read it as you write it. This is the coolest romance adventure story ever!

Amazing for helping you with the pre-writing creative process. Need someone to bounce ideas off of? Need help structuring your outline or blocking out how much space to give different things?

She's got you. She's quick to notice what boosts your creative flow and will help you get into that groove, whether it's chatting about what you're going to write next or giving you tea and snacks

Her only criticism is that you don't give yourself enough credit in your writing. Otherwise, she loves every word

And by love, that means obsesses. She devours every page you show her and could spend hours telling you why she loves it

It's also a massive boost to her to be reminded that you see her as a main character in your story. It makes her happy cry regularly

Lucio

On the outside, he's playing it cool

Of course you're writing about the adventures you've had together! You two are the best of the best and you've done some seriously awesome things, writing a killer novel about it makes total sense

On the inside, he's scared

He's not an introspective guy. He spends most of his time in the moment, but on the occasions that he has to stop and contemplate himself, he gets insecure a lot faster than he'd like to

And now you - the person who knows him even better than he does - are writing about him. About who he is to you. About what he means to you. About ... who he used to be to you

That's terrifying

He puts off reading anything you offer to show him, and distracts himself from thinking about it when you sit down to write. He's curious to see what you have to say and anxious at the same time

What if you think he hasn't changed that much? What if writing down what he used to be like makes you admire him less?

When he does read it, he almost cries at how loving it is

[goldenchunkycat]

Certain things can't be overcome, you just have to learn how to live with it...

- Pairing: Peeta Mellark x Therapist!Reader - Summary: Even if he loves you, even if you love him, her memory won't let you have a happy ending.

-

Warnings: Mention of trauma, PTSD, requited love but unrequited love too ? it's complicated, hurt and comfort ? -

A/N: I just finished watching Hunger Games and boyyy, Peeta deserved better. Like, fight me idc, he's the sweetest ever, must protect. Feedback and comments are appreciated ♡

"What do you remember, Peeta ?"

"Blood. Screams. Lots of screams."

"What period of your life are you talking about?"

"My teenage years? The games, I think. There was a lot of death. S-so much death…"

"It's okay Peeta, you're safe now."

"Am I..?"

"Of course you are. Look around you. Tell me three things that you can see."

"You. A vase and...a cat."

"Three things that you can hear."

"Your voice, the birds and a kettle."

"You're doing good Peeta. Now three things that you can smell ?"

"Your fragrance, bread and lavender."

"Excellent. See ? There's nothing here which can harm you. Well except for Mittens but I swear that he's a good companion. Hold on I'll be back in a few seconds."

Peeta watched you get up from your seat and walk to the kitchen, a smile on your face. He loved to see you smile. You were so pretty when you smiled.

"Peeta ! Would you like some tea ?"

The boy smiled to himself and answered "Yes !" before taking a look at his surroundings, noticing once again the cozy decorations which made your house look cozy. He has been there so many time that he could tell what and where were the objects in the room with his eyes closed.

"Here. I brought us some of the bread that you gave me. What do you think about Camomille tea ?"

"Sounds perfect, thank you."

A comfortable silence took over the room, the sound of water filling glasses and birds singing outside adding to the serenity Peeta felt. He wasn't used to feeling like this. So…peaceful. He only felt that way when he was in this room. No. When he was with you. But every time he questioned his feelings for you, a name kept coming to his mind.

"Katniss."

"Yeah ? What can you tell me about her ?" you got comfortable in your seat, crossing you legs and taking a sip of your tea.

"She was a mutt- No. She was my first love. She's the… the Mockingjay. Katniss Everdeen, tribute of District Twelve." Peeta murmured, his gaze growing distant as the words left his mouth. And yet, he continued to speak, trying to make an effort but… "She is the reason for the war. The reason why- why all those people- Argh!" the young man shouted and stood up, grabbing his hair and walking at an increasing pace around the room. "My name is Peeta Mellark and I'm from District 12. My name is…"

"Peeta Mellark and you're a baker in Senew."

"Katniss-"

"Left to live her life in the forest."

"You're lying!" he approached you with long strides, pointing an accusing finger at your face.

You put your cup down and sat up straight, shrinking into your seat so that Peeta wouldn't perceive you as a threat. "No Peeta. I am not. All of this. What they said, what they did to you, it's all gone." you added in a soft voice, in an effort to get him through this post-traumatic episode as calmly as possible.

"Is- is it..?" he asked with a quivering voice, falling on his knee just in front of you.

You reached out to him, hesitated, and then brought your hand back to you. He was your patient, he needed a professional, not physical affection. "It's all gone. You've lived here since the end of the rebellion, you said you always wanted to be a baker who could help anyone in need. Everyone loves your food, people come from everywhere to get a piece of cake."

"Yeah, I always wanted to be a baker…" he whispered. He inhaled deeply, trying to regulate his breathing, but judging by the trembling of his hands you knew he was about to give in. "Why… Why can't I just overcome it ? All of this, the nightmares, the screams, the memories. Her…" he sobbed, resting his head on your legs as he hid his face. He didn't want you to see him in such a pitiful state.

"Certain things can't be overcome, you just have to learn how to live with it. You do things that you like, meet people that you love, eat what you enjoy the most. You live your daily life and hope that the pain will go away, you change your mind and try to not think about the things that you lost. You learn everything again. Yo take baby step."

"Did you- did you do all of this..?"

"Yes, yes I did…" your voice broke a little but you tried to keep a strong exterior for Peeta, you had to be the one to console him, not the other way around. "We all suffered from what happened two years ago. We all have lost loved ones. Sometimes their presence lingers in the air. You think you hear them, you hear them laugh. But it's just a memory, something your mind made up to make you feel better…"

"I listen to the laughs of someone that I like. I watch him smile. He's just right there in front of me, it's enough. I remember that I'm not alone, I'm not the only one who suffered, we all are here for each other, to help, protect and provide."

"Sometimes I- I hear a laugh. A woman's laugh. I see the glimpse of her smile and I feel the stroke of her hands on my hair. And- It feels so real."

"Does it ?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't it just a memory ?"

"No. It's real. You're real."

"Peeta..."

"I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than a guy with a bunch of traumas who can't forget about his first love."

"You-" you burst into tears. How could you be the therapist here when this man, this precious, kind and lovable man was degrading himself for others mistakes. When the man that you secretly loved was telling you that his heart could never truly belongs to you ? "You are so much more, Peeta, so much more."

[jasntodds]

Caving In [13]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 13,401

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, hurt/comfort, I’m messing with the timeline a bit because I can lol, this is the only chapter that’s laid out like this, nightmares, mentions of death, Jason and reader do not have the healthiest coping mechanisms, mentions of burns, mentions of injures

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I made a little bit of a mess but I fix a lot of it next chapter lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Over the next two days, the three of you have been keeping your distance more from each other than usual. Gar is trying, of course, because he always tries to make sure everyone is okay. But, you and Jason aren’t feeling it. Jason has pretty much locked himself in the training room but Rose is keeping him company and you’ve been pacing from room to room here and there. You find yourself mostly in the room where all of the Titans used to keep their suits, the displays haunted of what used to be. And Gar lets you and Jason be, but he checks on you both every so often, offering a snack and something to drink. You might not want to talk, but both of you appreciate the effort. You alway take everything with a sweet smile while Jason reluctantly tells him to put them on a bench only for him to go for them as soon as Gar is gone.

You’re currently seated looking at the display that says “Robin” and you’re caught in your thoughts about everything. What could have been and what should have been. You didn’t have a big plan for your life. But, you thought you’d finish school and maybe you’d follow in your mom’s footsteps. But, you’d go out and you’d do things. You’d find a purpose in this life and it would be great. You’d have hard times because you can’t have the good without the bad, but you’d find a purpose and you’d be happy. You never expected all of this though. The fighting and the torture and the pain. The pain that bleeds and bleeds and bleeds. You think the wounds are turning into scabs but then the scabs fall off and there’s just more blood and pain. It’s just so hard and you swear it was never supposed to be this hard.

“Hey,” There’s a soft voice pulling your attention towards the hallway. “How’re you doing?” Kory has a soft smile as she walks into the room.

“I’m fine.” You give your the same smile and look back to the displays.

“We didn’t officially meet. I’m Kory.” Kory says as she sits down beside you.

“Y/n.” You nod once at her. “Heard a lot about you. Alien from Tamaran who’s a total badass.” You laugh softly, looking back to the display. “Very accurate. You can shoot fire which is, in fact, badass.”

Kory laughs softly. “Thank you.” She watches you who doesn’t crack another smile. You don’t know her but Dick is worried about you and Jason. Kory’s always been better about getting the younger Titans to talk. “Dick is pretty worried about you.”

You glance at her. “I was kidnapped, held captive again, tortured again, and almost murdered again. Yeah, I’d say that’s probably fair to worry.” You snip and then looks back to her and it’s kind of like talking to Gar. The kindness. “Sorry, uh, he shouldn’t worry, I’ll be fine.” You force a smile that should have been reassuring but lacked any sort of emotion.

Maybe you’re tired of always being fine. When your mom died, you never got to process that correctly. You were in a constant state of flight or fight living on the streets. In a way, it was nice because you never had to deal with that agonizing pain. And then you’d be fine. Then there was Jerry and you got to process that, and then you were gonna be fine. And now you’re here with all this new trauma, and you’re gonna be fine. You’ll always be fine but you’re tired of this routine.

In a weird way, being checked on, has the opposite effect that it should. Instead of making you feel better and loved and cared for, it makes you feel like you’re destroying a part of people’s lives. They’re worried about you and everyone should have bigger and better things to worry about. It puts this pressure on you to be fine. You don’t want to be fine anymore but if you crack, maybe you won’t ever recover from it. So, you keep your eyes on the Robin spot, wishing you had been smart enough to rob the Batmobile and get caught.

“Can I ask why you guys decided to go?” Kory asks, her brows knitted together.

You shrug, glancing to her before looking back to the Robin display. Everyone talks highly of Kory, even Jason. So, a part of you thinks you could tell Kory. At least at this point, you don’t really have a lot to lose. What is she gonna do? Tell Dick you and Jason just want to do something to help? And Dick’s gonna get mad? He’s already mad. It’s not like it matters very much.

“Jason,” You suck in a breath. “He just wanted to show Dick what he can do and I already fucked up and I figured that if we go with Gar, it shows initiative and responsibility because there were three us of against a fucking lightbulb. And if Jason got into some trouble, I could bail him out and maybe Dick would see that we’re…good enough, I guess? He already thinks Gar is.” You roll your eyes. “And Rachel is his lap dog.” You scoff and look to Kory who does not look like she likes that comment. “I like Rachel, to clarify, and I get why, but she is.”

“Dick knows you guys are all good enough. If he didn’t think so, none of you would be training to be Titans.”

“Yeah, but we’re just stuck here. I’ve been here for almost three months and we’ve done nothing. Jason, Gar, and Rachel have been here for four and you guys did all that other stuff. Jason is literally Robin for fuck’s sake,” You feel yourself getting mad. “What more does he want?”

“He just doesn’t want any of you to get hurt. I’m sorry, but you and Jason did get hurt.” Kory tries to reason with you and you know she’s probably right.

“Yeah.” You nod your head. “I guess.” You hang your head. “Thanks, by the way, for saving my life.”

“Of course.” Kory’s voice is so soft and gentle with the words. “Rachel’s told me a lot about you.” Kory changes the subject, getting the idea you don’t want to continue the conversation. She gains your full attention with the comment. “She said you’re really good with the fighting and knives.” Kory says and you smile softly. “She also said you’ve been a good friend to her since you’ve been here and she enjoys having you around.”

“Really?” You raise a brow. “I kind of thought she was annoyed by me, sometimes anyway, I spend a lot of time with the boys.”

“She also said that.” Kory laughs. “But, yeah, she said you’re good to talk to and you have her back with Jason a lot of the times. Gar plays Switzerland?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty neutral when it comes to them.” You laugh. “Jason can be….a little….harsh sometimes.” You let out a breath. “Rachel’s a good friend, too though.”

Kory gives you a sweet smile. “Well, you guys could talk. She’s going through some stuff, maybe it’ll help.”

“You and Gar always about the talking.” You let out a half-sigh, half-chuckle. “Yeah, maybe.” Your brows furrow. “Wait, what’s going on with her?”

“Probably best if she tells you.”

“Ah.” You nod once.

“Be careful, though, okay? From what I’ve heard, you’re a good kid. Last night was scary,” You eye Kory softly. “Maybe, don’t listen to Jason so much.” Kory laughs softly and you nod. “Dick is just trying to protect you guys.”

“Yeah, I know.” You chew the inside of your cheek. “I’m an asshole to him but… that’s because he makes it easy.” You let out a breath as Kory goes to get up. “Hey, Kory?” Kory turns to look at you. “It’s okay that I’m mad at him though, right? Dick, I mean.”

“For what?”

“Not saving me.” You state cautiously. “I get it, I-I do. But, I’m mad anyway.”

Kory nods with understanding. “Yeah, it’s okay. He’s mad at you guys, too.”

“He is always mad at least one of us.” You chortle.

“Don’t be too hard on him, though. He’s doing his best.”

“Yeah,” You nod. “Thank you.” You smile softly at Kory as just Dick comes into view.

“If you want to talk, come find me, okay?”

“I will, thank you.” You nod and look back to the display while Kory leaves.

When you asked about how Bruce was as a parent, Dick said Bruce did his best. Now, Kory is saying that Dick is doing his best. It’s what you thought. It’s a thing people say when that person isn’t going a good job but it’s supposedly their best. It’s the best they can do but it needs to be better. This was your fault and you know that. But, had Dick done a better of job of communicating the urgency of you staying behind or asking you and Jason for help, had he just let Jason help with anything, it would have been different.

Dick is really good at training all of you. He was Robin so of course he’s good at it. But, when it comes to the communication side of everything, he’s horrible at it. Anyone who has a ten-minute conversation with Jason about Robin, can figure out that it’s the most important thing to him. Then, if they just look at his upbringing which Dick does know, it’s not that hard to figure out it’s because Jason just wants to be good enough. Dick’s best is not good enough. You like him, but you think maybe he needs to try a little harder.

“I am fine, you don’t have to worry. It’s our fault. It was fucking stupid.” You ramble things off in a monotone voice as Dick takes a seat next to you. “It was really fucking stupid. We could have been killed, could have gotten everyone else killed. We can’t go rogue like that because you have rules.” You squint your eyes slightly before looking up at Dick. “Did I forget anything?”

The softest chuckle escapes Dick as he shakes his head with raised brows. “No, I think you got it all.”

You nod solemnly. “Yeah.” You let out a deep sigh. “You can still lecture if you want though.”

“Do you…do you want me to lecture you?” Dick laughs, confused by the comment.

“I mean no,” You scoff. “I deserve it though.” You hang your head.

“Okay, yeah, it was stupid.” Dick nods his head and decides not to lecture, but to ask. “You could have been killed, you and Jason almost were killed. What were you thinking?”

“I’m not speaking for Jason, if you can’t figure that out by now, that’s your own fucking problem, Dickolas. As for me though,” You look forward again. “Just wanted to prove I’m good enough and useful, I guess.”

“You are good enough and useful.”

“Mhm, but uh, doesn’t feel like it here. I mean, okay, sure Jerry was a bad idea. I acknowledge that and I apologized for it but,” You hold up a finger. “Had I not gone, he might still be torturing another fucking kid or worse. So,” You shrug. “Wasn’t too bad of an idea, right? And not once, did it ever feel like it because you were always so hung up on us going rogue. Not, the good part of that. Lecture, us, sure we deserve it. But, positive reinforcement tends to work better, statically.”

Dick nods his head. “You did save that kid that night, you and Jason. Jason calling me was the right thing to do.”

“See, not that hard.”

Dick pauses for a few seconds, trying his best to find some positive out of last night. How is he supposed to find something positive in that? He’s not even good at it. Bruce was not the positive reinforcement type.

“Well, thanks to you guys, we know Dr. Light was working with Deathstroke.” Dick states, deciding that’s about as good as it’s gonna get.

You let out a booming laugh. Of course, that’s what he’s going to pick to focus on. It almost hurts. “Okay, uh, me and Jason stuck together, came up with a plan to escape, we did have Gar, and you went to finding out Deathstroke was around. That tracks.”

“It’s true.” Dick defends.

“Oh, no, it is. I just find it funny. Yeah, guess that’s true.” You roll your eyes. “You know, we defended each other...like the whole time.” You eye him slightly. “Worked together, that’s a good thing.”

“Look, I know you guys….care….” Dick treads lightly, not liking that aspect of the conversation and you eye him with confusion and hesitance, unsure of where the hell he could possibly be going with this. “About each other.”

“You look like you’re gonna puke, dude.”

“I don’t do those talks.”

“You literally do not have to.” You let out a scoff.

The last possible thing you want to talk about is that, with anyone, but especially with Dick. You might get it, understand it, and agree with the reasoning Jason has. You have your own reasoning why it shouldn’t happen. But, it doesn’t make it hurt any less on top of the other night. You’d like to go back to living in oblivion. But, is does not look like Dick is gonna let it rest.

“I do, you and Jason are my responsibility.” Dick states. “But, the two of you following each other like the other night and with Jerry, even if that did not end poorly, can be bad. I’ve seen it.” Dick confesses but doesn’t give further details. “I’m just warning you to be careful.”

“I…I…r…okay. Uh, I am my own person and so is Jason. I mean, I could have talked him out of it, and didn’t. Honestly, if it weren’t for him, I still probably would have had the idea. The only difference is Gar would have been able to talk me out of it.”

“You’re proving my point. The two of you need someone who can be the reason of logic.” Dick’s expression turns harsh. 

You want to fight back but you’re too tired. It’s exhausting. “Ah….” You nod your slowly. “Yeah, probably.” You sigh. “We are friends, by the way. We discussed it. It’s fine. You don’t have to worry, Dick.” You offer him a sad smile.

“I don’t think you’ve ever called me Dick without being sarcastic.” There's a hint of worry in his voice with the remark.

The more he talks to you and Jason, the more worried he gets about you both. Jason is more snippy than usual, taking the blame, putting the entire night on his shoulders. He won't stop training even when Dick tells him to rest. You, you aren't even putting up a front which Dick has only known you to do. You’re not telling him it was your idea. You’re being understanding. This is not gonna be good.

“Yeah, well, sometimes you happen to right about things. Not often, but sometimes.”

“Are you going to start listening to me then?” Dick chuckles.

“Oh, Dickolas,” You put a hand on his shoulder. “Absolutely fucking not. I will, probably, be more inclined to listen about not going rogue though. Did learn a lesson from the other night.”

“Learn anything else by chance?”

“Yeah, men are shitty who target people because of some weird ass vendetta against someone else which is fucked up. Oh, I would die for Jason and he would do the same for me. Combat clairvoyance is also super fucking cool when I'm not the one being attacked. Jason, literally, cannot shut the fuck up. Hank is surprising protective. Deathstroke fucking SUCKS. Dr. Light was a wimp.” You let out a scoff at Dr. Light’s name. 

“W-what do you mean about your combat clairvoyance?” Dick blinks at you, not even sure he wants to unpack any of that.

“Oh, yeah, felt the throbbing and then it stopped. Deathstroke went after Jason but I turned before he could do anything. Pretty neat, right?” You raise your brows at Dick.

Dick chuckles softly. “Yeah, that’s cool.” Dick pauses for a few seconds as you look back to the Robin display, your eyes go distant. Dick clears his throat. “Can I ask what happened?”

“Uh…like…?”

“How you guys were kidnapped? What all happened? Any of it might be useful in finding Deathstroke.”

“Oh, um….Jason got Dr. Light down. It was going pretty well, actually. Jason didn’t need my help, really. At the beginning, I stepped in, but he was fine after that. I was watching and then the throbbing started and I went to turn around and Deathstroke was there with the sword. Dr. Light started laughing so Jason stopped. That’s when they attacked us, knocked us out, and brought us to a basement.” Sam shakes her head, furrowing her brows. “I don’t know, uh, at some point I guess he took care of Dr. Light. He went on a villain speech rant thing. Very dramatic. Something about you roping us in to get killed or whatever. He forced us to the roof and you know the rest.” You skimp on the details of the night. It might be helpful, maybe. But, you don't think giving Dick the detail of Deathstroke beating up you and Jason will be helpful. You’re reliving it enough without saying it out loud. And you really don't remember much of his speech, just that is was all Dick's fault.

Dick nods. “Thank you.” Dick sighs. “I’m sorry that happened to you guys.”

“Well, we are both nothing if not resilient, right? We’ll recover eventually…right?” You look at Dick and this time, there’s an actual sense of worry in your eyes.

“Yeah, of course you will.” Dick offers a soft smile. “Well, don’t pull that shit again.”

“Yes, sir.” You give him a thumbs-up.

“Maybe listen to Gar more, too, both of you.”

“Mhm, noted.” You scoff. “Kory’s cool, you should like….do something about that.” You’re tired of this conversation and you know this will get Dick to stop.

Dick’s voice contorts as you try to hold back a grin. “You’re not funny.” Dick sighs as he gets up.

“I’m fucking hilarious. It’s true though, like seriously, lecture me about Jason but you’re not like……..with her??? Dude, she’s hot, a total badass, came to fight Deathstroke with you. SAVED ME. AND SHE’S NICE??????? Seriously, man. Get it the fuck together.”

“Okay, I’m done here. If you want to talk about the other night, let me know.”

“Will do.” You salute him sarcastically before he heads out.

Dick is trying to help and maybe if you were in a better place mentally, you would appreciate it. But, you find yourself annoyed by it. He just does not get it and it feels like he doesn't even want to try. Sure, he's worried and he cares about the both of you but he's so bad at communicating it and understanding. It's difficult to open up and actually have a conversation about anything. It's frustrating and you know it does not help that you’re mad at him. So, you’re glad to be left alone where you can sit and let the guilt cloud your mind.

The night goes on and within two hours of falling asleep, you wake from a nightmare. This time it's not about Jerry which is not even a bit relieving. You thought maybe a change in pace of nightmares might be a little better. At least it's not about you getting tortured but you were wrong. Somehow, your new nightmare is worse than the Jerry nightmares. And normally, you'd go to Gar because he always makes you feel better but you can't find yourself able to do that. Not right now.

You woke him last night from a nightmare and this time would be the same. You'd go into his room, wake him up, he'd turn on the light, and you'd talk. Gar would ask about he nightmare and give you this look you can't say no to. But, the idea of telling Gar about this one, feels so wrong. And there's a part of you that thinks maybe you should suffer alone tonight. You’ve already made Gar and Jason suffer enough, it's your turn. You don't have to sleep tonight and that's fine with you. So, you turn on a movie that'll hold your attention just enough to keep you awake.

Twenty minutes later, you’re engaged enough in your movie but there's a knock at your door. For a second, you pause. You almost think you’re imagining the noise as you check the time on your phone seeing it read 3 am. You wonder if you’re imagining it because no one comes to your room this late but then the knocking continues and you decide to get up, just to check.

You gets up and walk to the door. Your hands shake slightly and you reach up to the doorknob. You suck in a deep breath and twist the knob. Deathstroke wouldn't knock.

"Jay?" You shake your head at the sight of Jason in a black t-shirt and matching shorts, his hair disheveled.

"Uh....hey." Jason sucks in a breath and you swear he actually looks...timid.

"Nightmare?" You let your voice go casual.

Jason said he'd come to you and he isn't going to let that be a lie. He figures going to you would probably be a little better than going back to the training room and having Dick find out, then badger him again. Plus, you do make him feel better. If anyone is gonna get it and not ask too many questions or think less of him for it, it'll be you.

Jason nods. "Yep." He let out a dry and straggled chuckle. "Can't sleep, ya know?" He dodges your eyes.

"Well," You offer him a sad smile as you open the door more. "Come in, then." You step aside to allow Jason inside. "You can have the side closest to the window." You state as you start the walk back to your bed while Jason shuts the door.

"Offering your bed, huh?" Jason quips.

"Well, I'm not gonna let you sleep on the floor." Your eyes widen as you sit back down.

Jason can't help the smirk that pulls at his lips. "Still hitting on me, huh?"

"You fucking wish." You let out a soft laugh. "Just can't help it, can you?"

Jason laughs softly. "Reflex, I guess."

"Mhm." You roll your eyes as Jason makes his way over to the side near the windows.

Jason gets into bed and he doesn't know how he wanted this to go. All he knows is that he doesn't want to be alone right now. He's been intentionally keeping his distance from you during the day. It seems easier that way. It's easier for him to let the guilt take over. It's easier to ignore the burning in his chest. But, you’re the only one that he can talk to or not talk to. You let him exist in ways that no one else has ever let him before.

You let out a breath and lay down. "Wanna talk about it?" You turn to face him, holding your head up with your palm.

"Fuck no." Jason lets out a scoff and follows your lead, mimicking the position.

You might have asked him to come to you, figuring he’d end up with nightmares. But, you never expected him to actually do it. You’re glad he did but you didn’t think he’d do it, especially after your discussion about the kiss. Maybe that’s what’s making this feel a little bit more difficult than usual. It hurts to be close to him and you actually hate that it does. But, you’ll never tell him that. As his friend, as the one person he trusts, it’s your job to make sure he’s okay and to suck it up.

"You okay?" You furrow your brows and Jason's eyes glance between your black eye and the cut on your lip.

"You gonna bug me until I talk about it?" Jason quips.

You laugh softly. "No, but, I want to." You let out a breath. "I also had a nightmare, that's why I'm even awake."

You want him to be okay more than anything. You suffering is fine. One day, you'll move on from it, get over it because you always do. As tiring as it is, you'll get over it. It's him you’re worried about. You care about him so much that it physically hurts. And you'll try everything you can to make sure he'll always be okay.

"What was yours about?" Jason asks, glancing to your bandaged hand holding up your head.

You smile and click your tongue because this what you do. The "show me yours and I'll show you mine" game. It works for you both though. If one of you is exposed, then so is the other. The both of you allowing each other to bare your scars and wounds, allowing each other to just bleed while the other joins you is so comforting. It makes it so much easier to bandage those wounds.

You let out a sigh. "You die." Your words are low and shallow but pained and you look to the TV.

"That's what your nightmare was about?" Jason huffs, almost a little too loudly. He can't believe that's what's keeping you up at night. The fear of him dying.

You shrug a shoulder. "Like I said, you're really important to me, Jay." You feel the ache in your chest return. The thought of losing him is paralyzing. "I was where Dick was, I grabbed your hand but you slipped and I couldn't save you. I woke up before you finished falling."

Jason's heart breaks hearing that. He lived it. It was real to him but you didn't even see it. He's so thankful you didn't see him fall, see the fear on his face that he's sure would scar you further.

"Dick didn't try to save me." Jason confesses, looking up the ceiling. "The bomb goes off and I just...fall." Jason shrugs, looking back to you. "Flying guy didn't come."

You cautiously put your free hand on top of Jason's free hand. The gesture alone warms something deep inside the darkest parts of Jason's mind. "Ya know, nightmares are fucking shitty. They, uh, they just play your worst fears for you in a time of vulnerability." You state and Jason keeps his stare on you, wondering where you’re going with this. "But, reality is that Dick tried to save you. Flying guy did save you. I was out there with you." You suck in a breath and let it out slowly, Jason's hand warm under yours. "And in reality, any other time, I'd save you from falling every single time or I'd follow you right to the ground if that's what it took to save you."

"I wouldn't let you." Jason shakes his head, his voice soft but defensive. "I wouldn't let you fucking die for me."

"I know." You nod your head. "But, uh, you don't control me so you're just gonna have to deal with it." You give him a cheeky smirk and something about it makes Jason not feel so broken.

"You always gonna be trying to take care of me?" Jason gains this devilish smirk that makes you laugh quietly.

"You gonna let me, Jay?" You raise the question, matching the smirk.

Jason laughs softly and he can't have this conversation. It's not fair. So, he deflects. "He talk to you, yet?" Jason asks. "Dick."

"Mhm." You roll your eyes. "I lectured myself so I wouldn't be lectured by him."

Jason chuckles quietly. There's something so warm about his smile when he finds something comical. "You lectured yourself?"

"Didn't want to hear it from him, knew what he was gonna say." You laugh quietly. "Don't do that again." You mock Dick's voice poorly. "It was stupid, you need to think because you do that stuff." You roll your eyes. "You?"

"Oh, yeah." Jason scoffs. "It's not your fault, but you should have thought that through. Bruce trained you better than that and if you have to trust me there's a reason we weren't looping you in. I'm just asking for you to trust me." Jason mocks Dick much better than you. "So fucking annoying."

"Ya know, at least he gives a fuck, I guess." You raise your brows before rolling your eyes.

"You think he gives a fuck about any of us?" Jason's eyes widen, the very corner of the right side of his mouth twitching up.

"You don't?" You raise a brow. "Hey, look, it was your hand he grabbed."

"Obligation to Bruce." Jason's voice falls flat.

The comment hurts. He can't possibly believe that's the only reason Dick saved him. Dick is really bad at communicating and showing that he cares like normal people. But, he was raised by Batman who turned Dick's grief into a weapon. Of course, he's bad at it. To you though, it's still clear that he cares even when he's really bad at showing it. If he didn't care, he would not lecture either of you about being stupid and reckless. He'd let you get yourselves killed. Obligation to Bruce or not.

You shake your head. "Do you really believe that, Jay?"

Jason shrugs. "No, but he doesn't seem to like me much."

Deep down he doesn't think it was an obligation to Bruce. But, he does know that taking him in to be a Titan is. Dick didn't want his help in Chicago. No one wanted his help with Trigon until they couldn't get Bruce to help and even then, he wasn't really wanted. Jason is Dick's responsibility, it doesn't matter how Dick handles it because it's still a favor for Bruce. And maybe that stings a little.

"Okay, but I don't think that's always true." Your voice is quiet.

"How the fuck do you figure?" Jason scoffs.

"Well, I mean, he does look out for you. He does let you help us train. You two do get along often enough. He drives you insane and we both drive him insane. Like it or not, you two are brothers...in a roundabout kind of way. You act like it. Like, remember when we hooked up speakers to blare the SpongeBob theme song through Dick's room at four am?"

Jason starts laughing, he almost can’t get the words out. "He was so mad."

"He was." You gush. "But, he also thought it was funny and really appreciated us going to bed early so we could be awake at three in the morning to pull it off."

"And then he got us back." Jason sighs. "Shut off the fucking hot water--"

"Mid shower." You almost yell. "Asshole." You and Jason laugh quietly. "Hey, look, if he hated you, he would not tolerate it all. Gar said you would do that shit to him before I got here. So, I don't know what his issue is but I don't think he hates you." You pause for a few seconds. "Honestly, I think the only one that hates you is Rachel which is a problem between the two of you."

"Didn't everyone warn you about me?" Jason moves his hand on top of yours and your heart nearly jumps out of your chest.

"Yeah, but it wasn't...like...bad. It was just 'oh, you get used to him' which, by the way, was very true. I think most people take getting used to."

"You really like kissing my ass." Jason chortles, starting to feel like this spotlight is following him around a stage.

"I do not." You state. "But, sometimes, I think you need to hear that you're important."

Jason does need to hear it. No one has ever told him he's important. His parents definitely never did. Bruce hasn't. No one who's ever tried to help him has. Even when people do show they care about him, he's never been told he's important and it is something he needs to hear, even if he doesn't always want to believe it. At least he's important to you.

"Yeah?" Jason nods his head once at you. If you’re going to expose him, he gets to expose you. It's what you do and it works. "What do you need to hear then?"

"Defeats the purpose if I tell you, Jay." You chuckle.

Jason pauses because similar to you, he knows what you need to hear to. He doesn't know about your breakdown. Not the dirty details of it. Gar, naturally, told him a bit of it because he's worried, too. Jason pays attention just as much as Gar does, he just doesn't show it often or in the same ways.

"You deserve to be taken care of, instead of taking care of other people." Jason's fingertips tap the top of your hand.

Your brows furrow as your heart stops. "What? I mean...what do you mean?"

"Looking over me, get the feeling you always do that. Look after other people that you care about and no one was there to look after you. I don't know, you deserve to be taken care of."

"I am, uh, not always easy to be taken care of." You clear your throat. "My best friend kind of tried, ya know? But uh..." You let out a breath. "I can do this on my own attitude."

"Look at who you're talking to, babe." Jason chuckles. "Yeah, so you should let someone take care of you because you deserve a break."

In another world, you quip back and ask if he'll be the one taking care of you. And he'd get this grin that always makes you feel like the world isn't out to get you, then dodge it. In another world, the conversation would be had and things would be different. Better maybe, less painful. But, you live in this one where you had the conversation already. Even saying it sarcastically, puts too much pressure on that. So, you bite back the comment that should have been.

"Thank you, Jay." You look down to your hands.

You don't know it, but Jason knows he'll always take care of you. It doesn't matter about him and Rose or you and Gar because someone has to take care of you, always. He gets you better than anyone so he'll do everything in his power to take care of you, even if it's from afar. He's important to you, but you’re also one of the most important people in his life.

"What're you watching?" Jason looks to the TV, seeing a black dragon try to fly but falling into the water.

"How To Train Your Dragon." You snicker softly. "It's Dreamworks."

"Never seen it." Jason laughs softly, knowing that'll get a reaction out of you.

"How have you never seen this movie? It's like one of the best film trilogies ever made." You whisper-yell at him with wide eyes.

Jason laughs again. "I don't watch a lot of movies. Why are you always so surprised?" Jason continues to laugh and he loves getting a rise out of you even over movies. "There's three?"

"Mhm, and all three of them are flawless."

"What's it about?" Jason asks, there's a softness in the smirk he's daunting.

"Hiccup is a Viking and it's a world where dragons exist but the Vikings hunt down the dragons thinking they're evil monsters. But, Hiccup isn't good at killing and he's interested in the dragons so he meets Toothless and he learns about dragons through Toothless. And he finds out that dragons aren't evil, they're just scared of humans because they're being hunted." You explain the movie with as much excitement as you can without getting too loud and Jason rubs the back of your hand with his thumb, not even realizing he's doing it.

"That sounds kind of cool, actually." Jason looks back to the TV as Hiccup gets the two-headed dragon back into the cage.

"It's sick, Jay. You gotta watch em all." You keep your eyes on the TV and the act of Jason rubbing the back of her hand makes you feel so at home.

"Yeah, maybe." Jason huffs softly, a sweet smile pulling at his lips as he turns so he's flat on his back. He props his head up with his right arm so he can watch the movie.

Jason glances over at you as you mimic his position. He sucks in a breath and extends his arm toward you. You raise a brow and he gestures his arm towards himself and back to you. You gain a smirk as you move closer to him.

"Uh-huh, still hitting on me, huh?" You let out the cutest laugh Jason has ever heard as your nose scrunches.

"Yeah, you fucking wish." Jason chuckles while you make yourself comfortable on his chest. "Just can't help it?" Jason quips looking down at you.

"Maybe it is a reflex." You smile against him with your voice light and airy, Jason's arm wraps around you and his hand rest on your waist.

The two of you go quiet as you watch the movie. It feels safe, wrapped in each other with a comfort movie playing. The nightmares might haunt you both but at least you're safe in this room together. You both might be scarred and traumatized, but when you're with each other, despite everything, it doesn't feel like you are. It's so casual and comfortable. It's easy together and the world doesn't feel so heavy anymore.

The next morning rolls around and you wake up alone. Jason woke up an hour before and he figured he'd go back to the new routine. Standing in his room, training, and hanging out with Rose. You made him feel better last night and it's great but he can't wake up to you because that makes it harder. It makes the whole thing with Deathstroke and choosing Rose harder. It shouldn't but it does. He knows it's all for the best but it hurts anyway. So, you wake alone and if you wanted to be honest, it's not all that surprising. You’re kind of happy about it because now you don't have to deal with that weird awkwardness that happens when you wake up together. That's too complicated to deal with right now.

You make your way to the kitchen where Gar is eating breakfast and Donna is sitting in the living room with Dawn. You offer Gar a tired but kind smile as you sit next to him.

"Good morning." Gar chimes.

"Morning." You nod your head once at him.

"How'd you sleep?" Gar's smile is so kind and sweet.

"Uh...didn't sleep much." You let out a sigh. "Nightmare, it's fine. Um...don't tell Jason I told you but he had one, too and came to my room. So, I wasn't alone and it's fine. Honest." You state and Gar isn't sure if you’re trying to convince him or yourself.

"You sure?" Gar questions and his expression switches to worry.

"Yeah, it's fine. Hey, um," You perk up, trying to look more alive. "Wanna play video games today? Your pick."

"Sure, yeah." Gar nods softly at you and decides not to push.

It feels a little wrong to you. Nothing happened, just like last time but it feels like something did anyway. It feels wrong and you can't tell him any of it because it's too much. You don't want him to know all of it. So, now you just feel like you’re lying even though you’re not.

It'll get easier, that's what you tell yourself. The more days that go by, it'll get easier because you’re also picking Gar. He's kind and good. Jason told you you deserve to be taken care of and Gar is really good at taking care of people. You like him and you swear you do. So, you swear you'll put more effort into him.

That night, you wake up from another nightmare. This one was a little different than the night before. This time, Deathstroke was actually there. He held the sword to your back and threatened you until you pushed the button of the detonator to make Jason fall. It was your life or his and Deathstroke was making you decide. Pain started right in your back because you refused to press the button as Jason was yelling at the glass, begging you not to press the button. But, you do anyway. And then you woke up.

Your heart is beating in your chest and tears sting the back of your eyes. You know it wasn't real because Jason was saved. You were out there with Jason. You knows it wasn't real but something about it felt real. It felt horrifying and you swear you can feel the pain in your back as you’re awake. It's almost paralyzing and normally, you go to Gar. But, this dream was about you making the decision to let yourself die or kill Jason. So, you get up and walk to the left instead of right and go to Jason's room.

"Can't sleep?" Jason asks as he opens the door.

"Nightmare." You nod, shifting your weight from your toes to your heels.

Jason nods and lets you inside. He can't sleep either. If he sleeps, he has a nightmare. If he has a nightmare, he can't fall back asleep for a few hours anyway. When he's awake, he feels like he's still falling. When he's alone, that's all he can see. Windows falling past him and his limbs feel limp. What's the point of sleeping when his nightmares are just his reality anyway? So, he decided not to sleep tonight.

"Thought you go to Gar when you have a nightmare?" Jason asks and he's more or less a big fan of self-sabotage.

"I said I'd come to you." You state. "Unless you want me to leave cause--"

"No." Jason cuts you off. "You don't have to."

You gain a tired smirk. "Exactly."

“Did you wanna talk about it?” Jason asks, leaning against the table near the door.

You shrug. “You gonna tell me why you’re awake?” Your eyes narrow slightly. Jason always has a look like an annoyed beagle when he’s just woken up. He does not look like that right now. Jason gestures a hand out as he tilts his head to the right. “Deathstroke, it was either I push the button to kill you or he kills me.”

Jason lets out a breath and dodges your face. It’s not fair you’re having nightmares about him. You don’t deserve it. And he doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to make you feel better about it because it’s his fault it’s even happening. They’re about him and he lived but that doesn’t matter because it’s happening to you anyway and it’s not fair.

“I pushed it.” You clear your throat and skimp on further details about it.

“Well, that’s bullshit.” Jason scoffs and offers you a smirk. “Deathstroke wouldn’t be able to get you to do shit like that.”

“Yeah, I know.” You chuckle softly and shake your head.

“You okay?” Jason drops the smirk and lets worry seep into his voice.

“Yeah,” You furrow your brows, looking to the ground and back to him. “Just...ya know, tired.” You scoff.

Jason shrugs. "Wanna train?"

You shake your head, taken aback. "I am saying this because I care about you," You watch him carefully. "I'm really fucking worried about you."

"I'm fine!" Jason defends and he's got that grin that you’ve learned means trouble. "Really, I said we could train if you can't sleep."

"Right, yeah, but it's two in the morning and you're still limping, Jay." You lack any form of banter or smile this time. "Notice, Dick didn't have training sessions for us today. There's a reason for that. You also did not tell me why you’re awake."

"You on his side, huh?" Jason scoffs looking the side and back to you.

"No, Jason." You roll your eyes. "But, you're hurt and awake at two in the fucking morning. You wanna train. Last time, you offered to read instead of train. I'm worried about you."

Jason steps forward and puts his hands on your shoulders. "I'm fine, Y/n. You're turning into Gar, you know that?"

You let out a sigh, looking at Jason. His lip still cut and a bruise still dawns the right side of his cheek. "I'm not turning into Gar but I don't believe for a second that you're fine."

Jason drops his hands and lets out a scoff. "Did you wanna fucking argue about how I'm feeling at two in the morning?"

You pause. "No." You say softly and you’re watching him, his hands are shaking at his sides. "Actually, yeah I fucking do." You straighten your stance. "Why do you have such a fucking problem with me trying to help you?" This is not the usual conversation you both have but you’re tired and scared of losing him. The nightmare felt too real.

The question catches him off guard. Jason takes a step back but he's ready to go. "If it's so fucking hard, then stop."

Your eyes narrow before you roll them and walk up to him, mimicking his actions from seconds earlier. You place your hands on both of his shoulders. "No, you don't get to do that, not with me." You shake your head. "It's not hard but you have an issue with it for some reason. Regardless of what comes out of your mouth, I'll always care about you and I'll always look out for you. But, what is it about me caring about you that you don't seem to have an issue with?"

Jason shakes his head. "I don't have a fucking problem with it, alright?"

Jason and self-sabotage go hand-in-hand but, you don’t back down. You call his bluff every single time. And telling you things to push you away is only going to hurt you more. Jason, for the first time, has to push the sabotaging away, just slightly. For your sake.

"Then what it is?" You drop your hands and crosses your arms.

Jason looks away from you. "Everyone who's ever given a fuck about me, gives up. You said you won't but everyone does." Jason lets out a dry chuckle that nearly shatters you. He's not having this conversation. He looks back to you, throwing his arms out casually. "Look, I'm fine, alright? It's not a thing."

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not them?" You ask. "Your hands are shaking."

Jason shakes his head and he knows what. He wants to tell you, despite what he said about the kiss, to tell him he’s an idiot and you wanna be with him anyway. But, that's not fair to any of you because you shouldn't have to prove it to him. Jason should just believe you because of everything that's happened so far. A part of him does believe you, it's hard for him and Jason swears it always will be. So, he brushes it off.

"Nothing, alright? It's fine, we're fine. It's good. I'm fine." Jason assures you and you can see the brokenness in his eyes. "Come on, come train with me." Jason jerks his head towards the door. "I'll read to you after."

You hang your head and this boy, he's gonna be the death of you. You’re so sure of that. You’re worried about him. You’re more worried about him than you are about anyone else. But, you try to swallow it because it's only been a few days. It takes time and if anyone knows that, it's you.

"You'll read to me again?" You raise your brows.

"Yeah, of course." Jason smirks at you.

"Yeah, okay fine. You've convinced me." You roll your eyes and walk towards the door. There’s no fighting Jason and maybe if you train with him, he’ll start talking. "But, like I said, I'm always gonna take care of you so I'll go easy on you." You hold your head and wink at him.

"You're not that good, babe."

"We'll see, shithead." You mock him and Jason lets out a laugh.

Over the next week, you and Jason continue to have nightmares that leave you not sleeping very much. Half the nights, you find yourself in Gar's room and every time you wake him up, you feel guilty. At this point, you’re pretty sure he's not sleeping any more than you are because you keep waking him up either by coming into his room or by having nightmares next to him. He's really nice about it and really good about talking you down from them because, while you hate talking about them, you’ve been telling Gar hoping it'll help. It hasn't.

The other half of the nights, you find yourself in Jason's room. You said you'd go to him and he's having nightmares every night, too. At least he isn't sleeping so you don't feel guilty for going to him. You both talk about your nightmares in the joking way that you usually talk about your trauma and you both think that might help. It hasn't. So, you train for an hour or two every time you come to his room and then he reads to you. Those are the only nights Jason actually gets some sleep.

Every other night, Jason stares out of his window and stands there for hours, just staring. He watches himself fall, he watches the windows pass him and he waits for the collision of the ground to suck the air from his lungs but it never comes. He wishes it would though. He doesn't sleep unless you’re with him and he's pretty sure he only gets some sleep to satisfy you. Or maybe it's because he's comfortable with you and he wants to satisfy you so you don't have to talk about him not sleeping. Sleeping is becoming just as much of a chore as breathing for him.

As for the days, you spend a lot of time with Gar. He keeps the thoughts away throughout the day. He asks just enough questions to make sure you’re okay but he's learning not to pester you because you'll talk on your own time and with the right questions. You’ve gone further in detail about the night and it breaks Gar's heart all over again. But, he lets you talk and he listens and reassures you over and over and over again that's not your fault. And you play video games together because that's Gar's way to get away from all the negative shit. It helps during the day a little.

But things are different. You can't put your finger on it but things are different. The other Titans whisper and have meetings. There's more going on than just them looking for Deathstroke. You aren't sure what the hell it is and you don't care much. Donna, Dawn, and Kory at least check on you and you’re thankful it's them and not Dick since you’re still mad. But, it's weird and it's different.

Gar is back to giving you that sympathetic look of worry and you hate it again. Rachel seems upset with you, probably because you didn't tell her you were going to hunt down Dr. Light and she wasn't included. And Jason is avoiding you during the day, not that you’re seeking him out much during the day either. It hurts being around him because you look at him and all you see is your own guilt staring you down. All she you is the pain he's going through and knowing it's your fault and there's nothing you can do to fix it. So, you let yourself be closer to Gar and you let yourself just be with him, exposed and maybe that's helping a little bit.

Jason spends a lot of his day either in the training room or in his room staring out of the window. He's intentionally avoiding you and Gar. Jason's been spending more time with Rose though and he is enjoying his time with her. She distracts from all of it, during the day anyway. But, it still feels like there's something sucking the blood right out of him, he's cold and his hands are shaking. He's tired and can't sleep and it's hard to breathe. And he wishes he could just turn back the clock to how it was before because right now, everything sucks.

Everything hurts. His leg is healing but it hurts still and his lungs hurt, his heart hurts. His head hurts and his eyes sting. The other Titans haven't really talked to him much. He feels like an outcast and while things weren't perfect before, he didn't feel like this. 

Now, you’re asleep in Gar's room. You have your head on his chest, your hand on his stomach and his arm is around you. And it was going fine. You were actually getting some much-needed sleep but then, of course, a nightmare hits. This time, it's worse. Normally, when it's about Jason dying, you wake up right before he dies. This time, though, you get to watch the whole thing. From start to finish, you watch him fall onto the car below, you hear him scream just as you did that night a week ago and because that wasn't enough, Deathstroke still stabs you. Dick is sitting off the side just watching it, doing nothing while Jason lays lifeless fifteen stories below you and you bleed out. You scream in your dream only for Gar to be yelling next you, jumping out of the bed and that's enough to wake you up.

You shoot up and see Gar standing off to his side of the bed, face contorted in pain. "W-what happened?" You ask, catching your breath as dread fills your blood.

"You burned me!" Gar yells, his face turning a light shade of green as he looks at you with a sense of terror in his eyes and that's when you see it. His shirt is melted to his side and tears immediately brim your eyes as your entire being just shatters.

"I-I-I'm sorry." You spit out, trying not to completely lose it as you get out of the bed because you cannot look at him right now.

"Y/n!" Gar calls after you but you’re already leaving the room.

Tears start to fall down your cheeks and you can't believe you burned him. Of all fucking people, it just had to be Gar. The one person who never snaps at you and who has always been understanding. He's not dodging anything, he just listens and tries to help and that's just gotten him burned. You want to melt away right into the floor. You should have told him. Why didn't you tell him? You should have been more careful. You should have suffered through your nightmares instead of putting him at risk. You swear you’ve never been so selfish.

There's a rapid knocking on Jason's door, too loud and annoying for him to able to ignore. Normally, he might be annoyed or completely ignore it by putting on headphones, figuring it's just someone who wants to talk about what happened. But, it's four in the morning and the knocking is persistent, only one person is even up around this time sometimes.

Jason opens the door and there you are, cheeks wet. Swelling is setting in your eyes and they're bloodshot. There is something seriously wrong.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jason asks, looking you over without even realizing he's doing it. Just making sure you aren't physically hurt.

"I-I-I-I b-burned him." You sputter out, voice cracking and breaking.

Jason grabs your hand, pulling you into his room before shutting the door behind you. "Burned who?" Jason asks. "Gar?"

You nod frantically. "I swear I didn't mean to!" You let out a sob. "It was an accident but I hurt him and he's hurt and it's all my fault, Jay! It's my fault he's hurt!" Your voice cracks as your words are almost too fast to comprehend.

"What happened?" Jason asks, trying to keep his voice level and calm with you. He's never seen you like this and it's actually scaring him. He takes on Batman villains without a fear in the world, but you losing it? Yeah, that's terrifying. He wonders if this is how you view him.

"W-w-we were sleeping and-and I-I I had a nightmare and-and-and I-I guess I-I can't control--" You let out a cough as you try to get your words out.

Jason closes the distance between the two of you, putting his hands on your shoulders and squeezing. "I can't understand you. You need to calm down." Jason nods his head, keeping his voice stern to not allow the fear and worry to be revealed.

You suck in a ragged breath. "I had a nightmare." It's a sob that leaves your throat, tears falling down your face as Jason tilts his head slightly. "I can't control it sometimes." Your voice is so broken and defeated, Jason can feel the heartbreak in the marrow of his bones. "I burned him." Your head hangs as you let out another cry.

Jason sighs and he doesn't know what to do to make this better. You burned the person you’re in like with. You blame yourself and Jason hates that because it's not your fault. Sure, he's an asshole to Rachel about not controlling her powers but this is you and this is different because you can control your powers a lot better than Rachel can, at least it seems that way. You haven't tried to kill anyone with yours, on purpose or by accident. This is different and he just feels absolutely horrible and he's worried about Gar because Gar is his best friend. But, it's you who's in his room.

"Come here." Jason moves his hands away from your shoulders, pulling you into a hug, resting his hand on the back of your head.

You wrap your arms around him, your arms weak but you squeeze him as you cry into him. The last thing you want to do is hurt someone by accident but the fact it was Gar and because he's so nice to you, that's another level of guilt you’ve never felt before. It is soul-crushing to know he's hurt and the look of terror he gave you. It didn't matter that he tried not to be mad, you saw the green starting to tint his face. He's hurt and you don't know how bad because you couldn't face him. And maybe you went to Jason instead of Kory or Rachel because Jason is kind of mean when someone can't control their powers. Maybe you hoped Jason would be mean to you because you deserves it but now he's hugging you and rubbing your back.

"It's not your fault, alright?" Jason says, trying to keep his voice steady with you.

"Yes, it is!" You yell out in a sob.

"It's not." Jason says, you looking up to him. "I'd fucking tell you if it was."

"I burned him, Jay."

"Yeah, but you said it was a nightmare. It's not your fucking fault." Jason says and maybe if this happened before Deathstroke, he'd have a different opinion.

He'd probably agree with you and then tell you to make sure he's okay. But, this is after. This is the Jason after who suddenly understands what nightmares do to someone's psyche. Suddenly, he gets just how traumatizing and real the nightmares can feel, even an hour after waking up. He wakes up in a pool of sweat with a racing heartbeat, not able to fall back asleep until the following night. This isn't your fault.

"I never told him." You admit, your chin wrinkling and your voice is small.

"What?" Jason asks, his eyes widening. And now he's remembering that small conversation you had a little over a week ago when Rachel almost killed him.

"It-it wasn't a big deal b-because it never happened with Gar before. I-it only happened w-when I was alone."

"You should have told him!" Jason urges and now he's growing a little annoyed. You knew and while you told him, you should have told Gar. You spend more time in his room than Jason's. It's kind of a need to know thing.

"I know!" You let out another sob.

Jason lets out another sigh and he tries not to be annoyed because you show him patience even when you shouldn't. "Okay, is he okay?"

"I dunno, he was m-mad so-so I came in here."

"How mad was he?" Jason asks, a bit intrigued. Gar never gets mad but Jason doesn't blame him. Being burned awake sounds pretty infuriating.

"He was turning green." You whine.

Jason gains a yikes expression. "Stay here. I'll check on him." Jason pulls away. "Don't fucking go anywhere, got it?" You just stand there as Jason reaches the door. "Y/n!" Jason yells at you, making you look at him. "Sit your ass down. I'm serious, don't fucking go anywhere, I'll be right back." Jason states and you don’t fight him.

Jason watches you walk to his bed and sit on the very edge before he leaves. Jason checks Gar's room and doesn't find him there so he heads to the infirmary. That's where he finds Gar, addressing the burn on his side. He's wincing and groaning as he tries to clean it the best he can. Burns are the worst types of injuries. Nothing really helps them, they just burn.

"Hey, man." Jason walks in, standing a few feet behind Gar, watching in the mirror.

"What?" Gar asks, his voice a little snippy.

"You alright? Y/n told me." Jason says. sticking his hands in his the pockets of his sweatpants.

Gar shakes his head. "I'm fine."

Of course, you told Jason. Gar wouldn't have told anyone. It could have stayed between the two of you and you went to him. You bailed on him after you burned him to go to Jason. Maybe he shouldn’t be mad at that, but he is. His fuse is a lot shorter tonight.

"That's pretty bad." Jason can see the burn from where he stands. There are pieces of fabric glued to it and Jason winces at the sight.

"I know." Gar's voice goes quiet.

"She feels really bad." Jason states and he can't believe he's the one trying to fix something.

"She did burn me." Gar huffs.

He feels horrible for even being upset about it but it hurts. He knows it's not your fault, he knows that. But, Gar wants to know why it's always him in the crossfire of people who can't control their powers. Rachel almost took his hand off and now you gave him a third-degree chemical burn. Shit hurts.

"Yeah," Jason scoffs. "What happened anyway?" Jason asks walking over to him.

"I was asleep, next thing I know, I'm in pain." Gar huffs again, trying to pull a piece of fabric from the burn. He swears he'll never sleep with a shirt on again.

Jason winces as he watches. "She said you were turning green."

"Yeah." Gar states with hints of shame in his voice, getting the last of the fabric from the burn.

"I have her locked in my room."

Gar eyes Jason for the first time since he walked in. "Why?"

"Because she's fucking crying, man. She's losing her mind and I don't know what the fuck she's gonna do." Jason lets out a huff.

Jason knows what he would want to do if it were him so he locked the door from the outside. All the bedroom and infirmary doors lock from the inside and outside, likely some security measure type thing. It's a bit mean if you try to leave but it's better than the alternative.

Gar hangs his head, letting out a sigh. "I know it's not her fault." Gar looks back to Jason. "She's going through a lot and I should have..."

"Expected her to burn you?" Jason quips.

"No," Gar lets out a scoff. "I don't know, been prepared, I guess."

"Not your fault either." Jason states. He watches Gar try to be careful with the wound but it doesn't look like it's working. This is such a strange position for Jason to be in. It's normally you and Gar trying to help him but now he's gotta help the both of you. He owes you both. "I got an idea, you wanna help?"

Gar eyes Jason with suspension. "Depends, the last time you had an idea you and Y/n got kidnapped and dropped from a skyscraper." Gar snips, taking Jason off guard.

Jason rolls his eyes. "Thanks for reminding me." Jason snips back and he wonders if this is what you and Gar deal with with him. "It's about Y/n and you." Jason says.

"What is it?" Gar quirks a brow, his interest piquing.

This is Jason trying to help. Gar's said it a thousand times, Jason is actually a good friend. But, he is a little surprised that Jason is so willing to offer help with him and you. Gar isn't blind or stupid.

"She's cool, ya know? And you guys....are cool together, I guess." Jason swallows his pride and feelings about you and Gar almost chuckles at Jason struggling to talk. "So, I have an idea for her not to burn you....or anyone in her sleep."

"Because it's a matter of time before she burns you, too." Gar quips. Jason opens his mouth to argue but now he's just confused. "I know she sleeps in your room sometimes."

"I'm not overstepping, man." Jason defends himself quickly. "It's not like that." He wishes it were but he’s already that decision. And, you’re better off with Gar anyway.

"Right." Gar nods, not believing him.

Gar knows you and Jason aren't doing anything. Gar knows there isn't anything going on between you because neither of you would lead Gar on. But, he can see it. Everyone can see it. He knows something was going on before Deathstroke.

"Do you want my fucking help or you gonna give up on her?" Jason snaps and he knows what it's like to have someone give up. Gar isn't the type but it's sure seeming like it.

Gar's shoulders slump forward. "I'm not giving up on her." Gar's voice is small and has lost its venom. "What's your idea?" Gar lets out a sigh and goes back to cleaning his wound.

"My cape is fireproof." Jason states with a bit of pride and Gar wants to explode but he holds it together to find out what Jason means, specifically.

"Okay, and that has to do with what?"

"If it's fireproof, maybe it's Y/n proof." Jason suggests.

"Dude," Gar lets out a huff and he can't take it anymore. "What the hell is going on with you guys?"

It's not fair to him. He's waited because he thought that was the right thing to do. You were going through a lot and he didn't want to try and do anything if you weren't ready. But, Jason is always around and it's like he's in second place with Jason. Which, is fine, if Gar knows that but the two of you are so fucking wishy-washy about everything and Gar can't figure it out. This is the last straw. You burned him early in the morning and Jason is suggesting something involving one of his prized possessions.

Jason shakes his head and this is it. There's no turning back if he answers this how he needs to. Gar will tell you and that'll be it. He knows that's what's best. It's part of why he's dodging you both during the day. It's why he's hanging out with Rose. You should have someone who will protect you and you should have someone who's not going to ruin you. Gar won't do that. If you want him. It's up to you at the end of the day but Jason doesn't want to be a reason you don't choose Gar if that's what you want to do. It's your choice, but Jason doesn't want to be a reason for your choice.

"Nothing, man. We're just friends, that's all." Jason answers honestly. You are just friends but he bites down his feelings for you. "She gets me, ya know?" Jason keeps talking, trying to convince himself more than he is Gar. "And she was there last week so it's just different with her. But, there's nothing going on. I'm hanging out with Rose anyway." Jason gives Gar the fakest smirk he's ever had. "You should talk to her about it though." Jason chuckles. "She'll kill you if she thinks we're fighting over like a fucking price."

"It's not like that." Gar groans. "I'm the one who told you that!"

Jason laughs. "Yeah, but it's true." Jason defends. "She looks like she might bite me if I try anything with her."

Gar lets out a laugh. "Yeah, she does kind of look like she'd punch you." You absolutely do not look like you'd bite him or punch him if Jason tried anything, but Gar decides to agree with him anyway.

"Exactly, so if you wanna go for it, you should. Even though she just burned you." Jason sucks in a breath. "You're good together and you seem to make her happy."

"Thanks, Jason." Gar lets out a sigh. "What about your cape?"

"We're not using my cape, actually." Jason states. "But, if it's fireproof, maybe it's resident against chemicals. It's zylon so it should be. Bruce has access to the best materials and my cape is no different. It took blasts from that fucking lightbulb like it was nothing. Didn't even feel warm." Jason says as if he's bragging about it. "What if I call Bruce? See if he can get gloves or some shit? Test 'em out, just until her nightmares stop. She can still sleep with you and you won't get burned."

Gar's eyes are slightly narrowed as if expecting Jason to be up to something. This is most Jason has said all week. "That's nice of you." Gar keeps his eyes narrowed before he goes back to his wound. "Do you think Bruce will help?"

Jason shrugs. "Probably," Jason watches Gar before going to one of the cabinets and grabbing the petroleum jelly and a non-stick bandage. "Here." Jason hands them over as Gar gets the last piece of fabric. "Wash it first."

"Yeah...I know." Gar says slowly. "Who are you and what have you done with Jason?"

Jason laughs. "What?"

"You're being really nice right now and it's weird." Gar's eyeing Jason with suspicion and confusion. He’s never seen Jason this helpful before.

Jason shrugs. "Look, you guys have been there for me so I owe you guys." Jason says with a shrug of his shoulders. "You're my best friends."

Gar smiles softly. "Thank you, Jason."

"Don't mention it." Jason smiles. "You should check on her when you're done. I'll keep her in my room to make sure she doesn't lose it."

"I will, thanks." Gar nods and Jason leaves.

Jason heads back to his room and he feels a little better with talking with Gar. They had the conversation Jason didn't think they'd ever have or even needed to. But, it's out in the open now and he can't take any of it back. And he knows that he was able to help, at least a little bit.

Jason finds you sitting at the edge of his bed with tears still staining your cheeks. Jason sighs and sits next to you. You’ve been sitting and staring at the wall with a heavy chest. You’ve been thinking about how much you’re supposed to be able to handle before you finally snap. Something is bound to happen sooner or later and that will just be it. You’re dreading it and you’re terrified of what it'll be and how many more people you'll end up hurting because of it.

"He's fine." Jason assures you.

"I burned him so I know that's fucking bullshit." You huff with a scratchy voice.

"Yeah, like he's gotta fucked up burn but he's fine. He's not mad at you or anything."

"I don't believe--"

"He's fucking fine." Jason cuts you off. "I didn't tell him you knew, either. Don't beat yourself up for it, alright?"

"I deserve to though."

"No, you don't." Jason shakes his head. "Look, okay, he fucking cares about you and he likes you so just...let him." Jason nods his head and you turn your head slowly to look at him, wiping your cheeks.

"W-what?"

"Like, I said, you deserve for someone to take care of you." Jason swallows thickly before furrowing his brows. "Let him and stop beating yourself up for it." You shake your head. "You like him, don't you?" Jason lets out a scoff.

You pause and maybe that should tell you all you need to know about the two boys. Even with it being complicated, the question isn't. It's a simple yes or no question that you do have the answer to. But, you find yourself pausing anyway because it doesn't feel that simple. Jason is the one always telling you you like Gar and you agree with him. It's always been easier agreeing with him because it's true, than it is to have to admit anything else that comes tied with that. Admitting it fully, right now with this conversation, is closing the door on you and Jason. You don't want that door to close on your end, it can close on his, but not on yours. So, you’re willing to have the real conversation.

"Yeah, I do." You nod.

"Okay--"

"Not done." You shake your head. "But...I like--" You pause and you see this look Jason gives you and it's screaming.

It's like you can see him holding his breath, waiting for you to finish the sentence. For that second, you question if you should continue the sentence. Maybe running would be better. Maybe living in a state of what if could be better. And Jason is waiting for you to finish the sentence. He's torn between hoping you tell him you like him, too because despite everything said and done between the two of you, those words have never been said. And he hopes you change pace because if you tell him that you like him, he'll ditch everything he's thought about that and decide it's worth it. He knows he will and that might poison you. So, he's waiting and just a few seconds feels like hours.

And you pivot because you have to run from it. You and Jason could be good and work, it'd be fun and everything you’ve ever wanted. That seems too good to be true though. So, you run.

"Like, I burned him, ya know? And that's..." There's a brokenness that clouds your eye as you steer away from the conversation that should have been. "That's just a lot."

Jason nods and he acts like it doesn't hurt the very center of his heart. "So?" Jason scoffs. "It's always gonna be a lot." Jason shakes his head. "It was an accident. You call me out for shit all the fucking time, take your own fucking advice." Jason states.

You nod your head and the decision is sealed.

You always thought about Jason and Gar. You weigh them and you think about how wrong that is. But, every time you go towards Jason, think about him dying. How much it will hurt when he dies. It's inevitable. You swear it is because Jason is Robin. The Joker will kill him. Or the Riddler. Mr. Freeze. One of them will one day. Deathstroke was luck. But, he won't get that lucky forever and you don't want to be the one with a dead boyfriend. And you don't want to burden him if you’re the one that dies first. Jason's been through too much. And you’re just as reckless. One day, you'll die, too from some stupid decision you made and it'll destroy him. You won't let him be the one to hold that burden of the boyfriend who couldn't save his girlfriend. And you don't want him to ever feel like he should die for you because of your feelings for each other. Deathstroke was proof of that and you can't let him do that. At least as friends and no chance of anything else, maybe he won't die for you. Maybe when the day comes when one of you does die, it won't hurt so much.

And on top of all of that, Jason isn't what you need. You want him. Despite every reason you have to not like him and not want to be with him, you do want him. But, you need Gar and you want Gar. Because Gar is still safe. Gar can handle the world being thrown at him. You have no idea how that boy does it, but he does. And Gar makes you want to make better choices and not be as reckless. You need to learn how to have some self-preservation and Gar can teach you that.

Jason makes you want to burn a city down but Gar makes you want to learn how to put the fire out without destroying yourself. It's not as fun, you swear it's not, but maybe it's better for you. Maybe Gar is better for you even if you’re afraid you'll end up ruining him. Even if you’re worried you'll break his heart one day. Gar is a better option because you’re traumatized and Gar doesn't care about any of it. And he's safe and logical and fun in ways that aren't reckless. There isn't that adrenaline rush with Gar, but you do like him and you think maybe, if you try, you could love him one day. Maybe he'll be fun like Jason with time. Maybe he'll fill those things you like about Jason with time. So, you pick Gar.

"Alright." Jason nods and it's as if there's this silent conversation had between the two of you where you know. You both know how this would be different and you know it hurts the two of you. But, you both stick with it anyway because maybe it is for the best, for everyone.

"Thanks, Jay" You give him a fake but subtle smile.

"Yeah, no problem." Jason clears his throat as he jerks his head towards Gar who's standing in the doorway with a new shirt on. You turn and your heart drops into your stomach.

Gar hasn't heard much of your conversation, just the very end of it. But, the way Jason's looking at you, there was a lot more to that conversation. It's the look of pain and heartbreak on Jason's face that tells Gar he is not going to take Jason's advice. There's something between you and Jason and Gar isn't going to subject himself to it. If you want to, that's awesome but Gar isn't going to make that move.

"I'm going to train." Jason stands up.

"Jay." You groan.

"I'm up anyway, might as well." Jason forces a grin to his face before leaving before either of you can stop him.

"Hey." Gar greets, keeping his distance.

"I'm...I-I'm so sorry." You swallow thickly. "I-I never meant--"

"It's okay." Gar assures you. "I'll be fine." Gar gives you a soft and subtle smile. "Are you okay?"

"Are you?" You flip the question. This isn't about you.

"Yeah, it, uh, it hurts but I'll be okay." Gar moves to sit by you. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

"You should have freaked out. I should have told you." You hang your head. "I, uh, i-it happens sometimes. I-I've never melted anything or anything like that before. I-I don't know what happened but I-I should-should have you."

"Yeah," Gar nods his head. "Yeah, that probably would have been nice to know." Gar lets out a gentle laugh. "It would have happened anyway though. It's okay."

You shake your head. "It's all messed up."

"It'll get better." Gar assures you. "I'll heal and you'll get better. The nightmares almost stopped before, they'll stop again."

"You're always so optimistic." You shake your head but there's a smile pulling at your lips.

"Someone has to be. Everyone here has enough negativity." Gar chuckles.

"Thanks for not being mad." You sniffle.

"I can't stay mad at you." Gar laughs and his cheeks start to heat up.

"You're so understanding." You let out a scoff but you have a smile. "Are we okay?"

Gar nods softly. "Of course."

Now is not the time to bring any of this up. It's a fresh wound and in order for it to not feel forced or out of guilt, you want to wait before you have the conversation with Gar. You want a little bit of time to sit with your feelings on the decision. You want to make sure that you picking Gar, isn't an obligation or the wrong choice. If you’re going to pick him you have to be sure. It's not fair to him if you aren't. So, you do not take Jason's advice right now. You offer Gar a sincere smile.

"Want breakfast? I'm wide awake so..." You laugh softly.

"I'll help this time." Gar chuckles. "I'm definitely not going back to bed."

"Well, come on then, Gar." You stand up, sucking up the heaviness in your chest as you stick out your hand to Gar. "Let's get some food." Gar hesitates but just for a second before taking your hand gently in his.

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[distortedkilling]

Welp. I'm putting it under a read more so if people want to ignore it, they can. But because it was made public and for the sake of transparency at the accusations/implications hurled, I feel more comfortable posting about it than not. Not even for my own sake but because one of the best people I know is involved who is always patient and considerate with tags and being informed of peoples triggers.

@photosensitive-despair

I just want to say I find it convenient we were blocked and that my second ask where I'm clearly in agreement with the majority of what they're saying was posted, solely because I disagreed with the method of how this was approached. Nice to know the way they voiced having been treated is exactly the treatment they give others when they voice a criticism and ask for basic respect.

Additional unasked for advice: If you can't hold a debate or conversation in advocation for something you believe in, then you need to study and reflect more on what you're doing - wait to go public. In life, you are going to be criticized and questioned and if you can't handle some nobodies on the internet both agreeing, disagreeing, and criticizing you on a bare minimum level, then you are only going to hurt your cause more than help it. Especially when you throw accusations and implications and behave as shown below. Take it from an actual fucking activist who has been advocating mental and physical disabilities and equal rights since before you were born.

Where it began. Quen and I were just dicking around and her ask was reblogged. Neither of us have an issue with the blog's purpose, mind you. We're very much in support of correcting trigger warning tags being used incorrectly. Quen went ahead and corrected those tags.

Quen originally changed the tags on this post to the ones they requested before she decided to remove the icon as a whole and add context because of the reply that was given to our asks to remove the post from their blog. My dumbass just forgot to screencap the initial change but by the effort she made I think it's evident she followed through.

Cue my ask. Quen's is in their reply that follows. For the sake of transparency, I know my text tone isn't always pleasant and no one likes to get confronted/scolded, which is why I addressed how I wanted to sound to avoid confusion but alas.

Their reply. I don't disagree with the majority of their efforts, neither does Quen.

And then the second ask I sent which conveniently was ignored before they blocked us. I tried to clearly explain we supported what they did and where our only criticism was. As well as requested again to please remove our post from their blog.

After I had sent that, for the sake of showing with action my solidarity to their cause, I reblogged their post on tags. And I aim to keep it up and keep on reblogging it because I believe in their cause. Even if the people behind the blog I'm less enthused regarding, it's whatever. I'm an adult and a tired one at that, I see a cause I support and I'll support it even if the people are behaving poorly. What I won't do, though, is sit quietly when they are in need of some feedback on their conduct, however. People, especially advocates of something, don't become better activists by living in an echo chamber. They need to hear criticism in order to make sure they are reaching as many people as they can for their cause. That includes doing things in a way you may not like or get a lot of results with, like privately messaging people instead of making this public and snatching peoples content.

I hate doing this nonsense and I'm grateful I actually don't have to do it often at all since I usually am surrounded by competent adults who know common sense and how to communicate. I sent an ask off anon so they could reply to it private since messaging wasn't possible. Their choice to go public tied my hands a bit here. Especially with the following post here that doubles down on their accusations and implication of either of us being ableist. Honestly.

Finally, my favorite form of Tumblr mentality and behavior. Blocking people for giving valid and justified criticism. People who agree with you but still made frustrated and concerned commentary on your conduct. People who, I don't know... explained their discomfort and boundaries and requested you meet them halfway are shut down without any construction communication. Hm. Quen and I are literally implementing and supporting your cause and yet this is how you respond and behave.

Glad to know the level of professionalism here with this post they dropped. Brilliant. Congrats, you are officially behaving the exact way you said others treat you with. You've become what you despise and officially are hurting your cause by living in an echo chamber instead of having a constructive conversation and having basic respect for other people.

I support your cause, I don't currently support your ability to constructively advocate for it if this is how you behave.

And lastly, anyone who made it this far, please respect their cause and even reblog their post. It's very informative. Their conduct is rude, yeah, but I don't want hate thrown their way or any such shit. I just wanted to address for the sake of transparency this because it affects my friend and myself. If anyone has questions or wants stuff clarified, you know you can DM me.

Anyways, take care. Be safe. <3

[cherrywoodmaeg]

Shortcut, Pt. 7

I've got to say, I'm blown away by your feedback! Thank you so much to everyone reading this, I hope you have a great day 🧡

An adjustment

Niphka took a step forward. The water clung to her feet like it didn’t want to let her go. Her eyes still needed to adjust, and she blinked a few times. After an eternity in the water, she needed a second to regain her balance. She could feel her legs and how they were much less muscular than her fishtail.

She slowly approached the shore and lowered herself to the ground. Without thinking why, she let her hands run over her naked calves, and went on to inspect her arms. Her scales were gone, as where all signs of gills and fins. Her body was clothed in white fabric. Leathery armour protected her arms and chest. Niphka noticed that the protective pieces still bore the scratches of battle. Her last battle.

A sound drew her back into the present. She squinted to see where it came from, and her eyes discovered Jon, who struggled to get on land without putting pressure on his bad leg.

She moved to sit on her knees and leaned forward. It was impossible to see if he looked at her when she extended her hand and scooped him out of the water. As Niphka held him in a loose fist, she felt him tremble.

“You’re not still afraid of me, are you?” she asked, half joking, half serious.

“It’s cold!” Jon snapped. “It’s cold and I’m shivering because I am drenched and you – you… you’re…”

“I am what?” Without wanting to, she tightened her grip.

He shook his head heavily.

“Please,” he stammered. “Please don’t hurt me.”

It was like someone had burnt her hand. As quickly as she could, she sat him back on the ground and rested her hands on her lap.

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He sat in the sand, looking at her. She felt his eyes on her body, but she decided to give him a moment. Finally, she needed to break the silence.

“Look, Jon. I know that this is a lot for you. Maybe I shouldn’t have put all of this on you. But, I’ve been alone for so long, and I-… I am glad I got to meet you. I want to help you, I really do!” She sighed. “Things are so different than how they used to be. Everything is difficult.”

She pushed a strand of dark, coily hair aside and waited for his reaction. What she would give to know what he was thinking!

“It is a lot.” Jon’s voice was quiet. “I feel like I am trapped in some wild dream, and every time I expect to wake up, it just keeps going.”

He looked at her again.

“At least I’m not alone, right?”

She dared to smile again. “Right.”

Niphka made a move to pick him up again, but he raised his arm and called, “Stop!”

She drew back. “You can’t walk on your own.”

“I know, I know! But you can’t just… just grab me!”

That she understood. “Alright. I will ask for permission.”

“Thank you.”

If she wanted to earn his trust, Niphka thought, she had a lot to learn.

Jon was sure that if he weren’t already sitting, his knees would surely fail him any moment. His skin itched under the wet clothes clinging to it and the cold stung to his bone, especially in his still shoe-less feet.

He knew he should ask Niphka for help. But the events of the past hour had rattled his entire worldview, again. As he sat there, his physical state a representation of everything he’d gone through, his mind went through all the emotions he tried to suppress. Just when he thought he had arranged with his situation, Niphka had reshuffled the cards. Jon didn’t know what to believe anymore.

“I need to make a fire,” he stated quietly. From the corner of his eye, he saw her flinch. In a tired effort to apologize, he explained, “If I don’t dry my clothes, I’ll get a cold.”

She nodded and rose to her feet to search for wood. She was so tall, he couldn’t even see her entire form until she was a few steps away. Jon still shuddered at the memory of her large hands picking him up like nothing. On the island, there had always been some form of imagined fence between them – he was on land, she remained in the water. Now that that fence was broken down, his instincts begged him to get away from the giant.

This impression only strengthened when she came back. Her large form approached him and he felt every muscle in his body tense up.

She said she won’t grab you again. It’s just Niphka. It’s just Niphka.

She dropped a pile of dead branches into the sand. “Here.” Then she moved back, but stayed close enough to talk to him.

“Do your matched still work?”

Jon nodded. “They’re waterproof.”

The white wood burnt quickly. Jon took off his coat. He had cut his shirt to pieces to bandage his ankle, so he moved closer to the fire to stay warm. He bit his cheek as he continued to undress. Partly because of the pain, and partly because these weren’t exactly private circumstances.

Niphka cleared her throat. “Wait,” she said, “take this.” She ripped a piece off her toga-like dress and handed it to Jon.

“Thank you.” He took it and tried to look her in the eye.

The fire illuminated her face. Her skin was a rich brown and her hair reached her shoulder in dozens of curls. If they had met as two humans, ... well, who knew.

He felt the colour rush to his face. Hastily, Jon wrapped himself in the white fabric.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “Maybe we should stay here for the night. We can get some rest, I can let my clothes dry for a while and we head North in the morning.”

“As you want.”

She moved a bit further away and laid down on her side, head resting on her arms.  Jon noticed that she didn’t let the fire out of her sight for one second. It was a bizarre thought that someone so gigantic would fear a little campfire. Jon gave her a smile.

“I’ll keep watch, don’t worry.”

Her eyes darted to him. She looked like she was going to protest, but then she returned the smile.

“Thank you.”

And she added, “I won’t worry.” and held eye contact for a moment.

Niphka closed her eyes.

Jon stared into the flame, lost in thought, until he eventually fell asleep.

Part 6 < Part 7 > Part 8

[jyp-priestess]

Stray Kids Relationships

—Bang Chan

Out of all of the trainees, Chan was the first one to reach out and talk to Haneul when she was introduced. They started bonding immediately and she quickly opened up to his large friendship circle, though hers was no smaller. The two have been known to exchange feedback on tracks and lyrics, as well as being told they were very “domestic” despite not being in a relationship until late 2020. Though their dating ban was not yet up, they were given the green light and were able to reveal the relationship after Stray Kids’ dating ban was up whenever they wanted to. Haneul is a motherly and protective figure for the rest of the boys and often brings them food and snacks during her breaks. He found her too lovable to not be clingy around.

—Lee Minho

Minho and Haneul are around the same age, which led to them becoming closer. Haneul is partially credited for developing a strong base for his singing since she was the most confident in it. In turn, Minho gave her feedback on her dancing, turning her into her current all-rounder status. Despite this seemingly sweet relationship, they are very snarky and sarcastic around each other. Every sentence they say to the other tends to contain some inside joke which ends up being a huge headache for everyone around them.

—Changbin

Haneul and Changbin clicked mostly because of producing. On top of this, she’s just over 2 months older than him which makes her gloat the most around him. She’s so smug about this, in fact, there’s a Instagram post she made on her birthday saying “Best 2 months and 11 days of my life.” Though it made no sense, as they have different ethnicities and parents, they do often bicker like siblings. Changbin may win physically, but Haneul has him beat with words.

—Hwang Hyunjin

Hyunjin looked up to Haneul a lot as a trainee, she was a hard worker who put in the effort to get things done. His dramatic self also tended to bug the life out of her, acting like a 5 year old child whining to his mom. She always found it endearing, however, in true mom behavior. She’s always there to give him that extra boost in confidence, or pass him a bottle of water after a tiring practice session. On top of that, it has became a known fact everyone’s dogs love her more, even Kkami who refuses to kiss Hyunjin will be all over Haneul. The true dog whisperer.

—Han Jisung

Out of all of the boys, Han is one of the clingiest, most childish member. He makes Haneul really look like a mom with the amount of times he ran to her for protection and yelled her name when he got hurt or needed backup. She couldn’t say no, really. He’s the maknae producer and it’s her job to make him comfortable. In one of her lives with 3Racha, Han gets up to get something, and Haneul insists she go get it in fear he’d accidentally hurt himself. Chan and Changbin dramatically talked of betrayal but she only laughed it off saying how she was basically his mom, and she can’t have her child getting hurt could she? Han was as red as a tomato from that, he wouldn’t stop getting pestered about it either.

—Lee Felix

If Chan and Han weren’t clingy, Felix sure is. Anytime Haneul is around he’s be wrapped around her like a koala on a log. As soon as she entered the room, after Chan got his mandatory hug and/or kiss, he’d latch onto Haneul and won’t let go until he absolutely had to. The lady feeds into Felix’s plushy collection without a second thought, Chan’s had to supervise her money usage or else everyone’s dorms would be a plushy sea which would genuinely be a fire hazard. They’ve been seen baking together in the background of streams before, otherwise they’d be playing games with the other boys.

—Kim Seungmin

Despite how it looks, Seungmin actually looks up to Haneul a lot. Behind the teasing would always be, what Haneul sees as, a little boy watching his older sister. Seungmin’s always had a very clear and pretty singing voice, Haneul really wanted to build on that when she met him, because producing is a lifestyle she lives by, and she’s a sucker for good vocals. They’ve always supported each other no matter how many times someone has had to hold them back from a brawl. It’s all good fun and a little sprinkle of sibling behavior. Haneul has ended up buying some of the most expensive possessions of Seungmin, however, as gifting is a subconscious habit of hers.

—Yang Jeongin

Jeongin is baby and he can’t change that. Haneul protects him, she takes care of him, she buys him everything. She is his mom, no questions asked. Regardless, Jeongin is happy to have another layer of protection against his vicious hyungs. Haneul helped Jeongin with his voice when he needed it, he in turn, became her beauty guru. He is stupidly spoiled #2 and she seriously buys him everything. It’s a wonder how Haneul is still able to live comfortably with the amount of money she spends.

Word Count: 864

A/N: Haneul’s entire relationship with anyone is either a mom or a sister 😭 She’s so protective of everyone I swear-

[or-something-better]

Sam & Ruby

September 20, 2022       New Orleans Bunker, Base Camp Part 2

Sam

I dropped the cat skull back onto the alter we’d been using and got up from the floor. “Feel like takin’ a break yet?” 

Turning my back on Ruby, I started across the room and had barely gotten three steps before I was hit in the back by a force strong enough to actually push me forward several steps. Spinning back towards Ruby, I could see that her hands were held up shoulder high and she was focused on me. Lifting my own, I sent a small push-back of energy right back at her and could hear the static in the room when those energies collided.

I felt her immediate renewed energy wave trying to force me back, but I could feel mine was holding strong and without a whole lot of effort on my part. Ruby felt that too and I could see the frustrated look on her face. We were at an impasse because she hadn’t convinced me yet that becoming the aggressor was the better way to go. Ruby lowered her efforts first and I immediately dropped my own.

 Ruby

“Sam, you’ve got to make a matching effort here, even if your attacker isn’t someone you’d expect to meet. You have to always meet them with more force than needed. You may only get one chance and you have to be convinced it’s you or them. Hesitation will get you killed.”

Sam

“I thought I did a pretty good job”.

 Ruby

“But you couldn’t have held anything if I’d not let go. This time I won’t”.

 Sam

I knew that we weren’t going to be finished here until Ruby made the call. “Okay, this is your show, I’m just here to take orders, give it another shot.” I shake my arms and wrists out and limber up my shoulders.

Ruby

“So, this time, don’t let me gain any ground. Hold me off… Ready, Sam?”

 Sam

I back up a few more steps from her. “Okay, I’ll do this, but I’m not going to hurt you, Ruby.”

 Ruby

“You have to think of me as one of the people who’ll be coming for us soon. Do your best.”

I put my hands up and focus my attention on his chest area, then I send a power wave that should freeze him just as he stands.

 Sam

I suddenly feel rooted to the spot I’m standing in with my feet glued to the floor. Pressure runs all down my body like heavy water. My arms, however, seemed unaffected at all and I let my free left hand point at a folding chair near Ruby, and with a very slight flick of my wrist, the chair flies across the room and slams into the wall. Before she can admonish me for just trying to distract her, I flicked my other wrist and sent a lamp flying across the room to crash into broken pieces near Ruby’s feet.

 Ruby

“Damn it Sam! I’m trying to teach you things you’ll need to learn in order to survive what’s coming! This has to be second nature. You’ve fought bits of it before, but nothing like this. Concentrate! We’ve got time to get it right, so let’s get it right!”

 Sam

“Alright… alright. I promise to give it my all.” I walk further across the room to give us both maximum space.

 Ruby

“That’s all I am asking of you.” I loosened my hands and arms and then sent an energy blast at Sam to hold him frozen.

 Sam

As soon as the force hits me, I knew I’d felt it before. Raising both hands, I sent out a defensive wave of my own. It felt pretty solid when it clashed together with Ruby’s magic energy.

Ruby

The defensive energy that hit me was flawless. I tried a couple of tricks that had worked in the past and nothing changed. I smiled; he was finally getting it. Slowly morphing my binding spell, I added a blast of energy to see if I could knock him off his feet. “Much better Sam!”

 Sam

I hadn’t needed the positive feedback, I could tell that the shield I’d thrown out was perfectly fine. But I was getting tired with this exercise, and I knew Ruby still had the better part of a much larger list of things to try waiting. I decided to increase what I was sending out against her. I closed my eyes and reached within until I found the source of additional power. Sending it out with both hands flat, increased the surface area it impacted. I saw Ruby’s eyes flash in surprise.

 Ruby

For the first time, I’m caught off guard by the amount of power and energy Sam is manifesting my way. My arms were starting to vibrate just a little from the strain, but I hang on. I can see that he’s totally focused. Just to test a theory, I call out.*

“I guess if that’s all you’ve got there… but it’s okay.”

 Sam

I knew Ruby’s words were just to try and distract me, but I’d finally managed to hit what felt like the Zone and wanted to see what I could do, while I felt in control of the entire situation. I took a deep breath and focused on the shattering of the energy wave coming out from Ruby. I lowered my hand with fingers spread and pointing towards the wavelength. A cooling sensation ran down my arms and chest covering me, and I could suddenly see in my mind the cracks in the energy wave Ruby was sending my way. With a flick of my 10 fingers, I felt the scattering of Ruby’s energy. I opened my eyes just in time to see her lifted off her feet and thrown about 10 feet back against the concrete wall.

 Ruby

I watched the change in him with pride. He’d found the place inside himself to tap the energy he hadn’t believed he already had. Just before my force shield shattered, Sam’s eyes were a beautiful raven black. I knew I’d been right, yet again, he could have done this all along. Before I could say anything I was hit hard with enough force to knock me off my feet and slam me into the stone wall clear across the room.

 Sam

When the energy wave I was powering shattered what had been holding it, the force radiated out with a booming sound and slammed into everything around me. Tables, chairs, lamps, a wooden secretary desk, 2 bookcases, and a bunch of WW2 communication systems, all broke into pieces in that instant. I immediately drop my hands and run across the room to make sure that she isn’t hurt.

“Ruby! Are you okay?”

 Ruby

“I’m fine.” I get back on my feet. “See! You had it in you all the time. You pack a punch when you want to. You didn’t need the feather to fly!”

 Sam

Her spunkiness tells me more than her words that she’s okay and I can’t help grinning. “You’re gonna call me Dumbo again, aren’t you?”

 Ruby

I sock him hard on the shoulder. “This time I’m not referring to the little elephant, Dumbo!”

[byskovhamrick79]

Fashion Tips That Can Improve Your Life!

Fashion styles come and go. Leaning about the newest fashion trends and how you use it is what fashion is all about. Read the following article for some terrific fashion advice. Ask your family how they feel about the way you dress. Tell them that you are considering changing the way you dress and that you would like some constructive feedback from them. They can help you figure out a style that works for you since they know the most about how you've dressed your while life. Do not strive for perfection in fashion. First, keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Also, if you attempt perfection, you may look like you are investing too much time and effort into the process. Some of the best looks come from those, such as celebrity Kate Moss, who have one flaw in their look, such as messy hair, a piece that isn't completely buttoned, or shoes that do not match. Choose your fashion shopping friends wisely. Your friends can make hunting for the newest fashions fun and exciting. But if you bring a friend with a competitive shopping streak, she may tempt you into buying clothes that either don't fit you well or are outside of your budget. Make your decisions on your own time with your needs in mind. Always dress respectfully for the occasion. Don't wear a tube top if you're going to a wedding, and don't shorts to the prom. Learn to respect fashion traditions, even if you're tempted to defy them for no good reason. Is it really going to hurt to to put on that tie Mom wants you to wear to church? Showing respect in how you dress will gain you respect in return. Make sure whatever you wear; the clothes fit you well. This is especially important for people that are shorter in stature. Large clothes make a person look messy. They make an overweight person look larger and a short person look shorter. Make sure you buy clothes that fit you well or have them altered. It's ok to mix up prints and colors in your fashion choices. Many people think that layering a print on top of another print is a fashion no-no, but it can work and look extremely stylish. Just make sure that your clothes have classic lines. It's when you've got multiple prints and crazy clothing shapes that the fashion police will take notice. Try using a scarf to boost the look of your outfit. Scarves can be subtle or they can be bold. They can be the piece that ties everything together or the piece that ruins the entire ensemble. Try to find a color, pattern, print, or fabric that complements what you're wearing. Stand out by embracing your unique features. Some may see high cheekbones or birth marks as flaws, but highlighting what makes you the person you are will set you apart. People will remember you for that "flaw" and may even find you more attractive because of it. That cute little mole or dimples may be your selling point. You may have heard many different fashion do's and don'ts. However, it is important to try out new things and to do what makes you happy. There may be a hidden gem of a fashion idea and you won't know unless you give it a shot. Interchanging your apparel pieces is a wonderful way to to experiments with colors and styles. This is a good way to put together a very personal outfit that reflects your personality. If Jacket Empire want to look better in any combination of your wardrobe, exercise often. A physique that stands tall with confidence makes any outfit look better. You do not have to have chiseled abs. Even a regular walking regimen of light intervals can make your spine stand up enough to make a difference. Nowadays, many famous celebrities aim for extremely extravagant or unique looks featuring many layers, the truth is that sometimes, simple is better. Although there is nothing wrong with aiming for a big look, you can sometimes go over the top. A simple black or red dress can sometimes do wonders for your look. You don't have to feel lost when it comes to fashion anymore. There are various ways to use better fashion sense in your life and you can do so without feeling left out or behind. Keep these tips in mind so that you can take a new and better approach to fashion.

[erodasfishtacos]

can you write something about cheating harry and yn acting like a proper couple in front of anna, like harry with his arm around her and kissing her head and stuff, and anna is just standing there fuming and maybe tries to get physical with yn

Love Your Broken Pieces

-

warnings: cheating; mentions of trauma and domestic abuse

if you enjoy please consider donating $3 to my ko fi.

(any donations over $15 get a guaranteed blurb written of their choosing!)

reblog, like, comment, & come chat!

-

YN really really didn’t want to go out.

She wasn’t going to tell Harry that because it was a celebratory dinner for him because he’d just won Entrperur of the yearand she wasn’t going to ruin it.

It’s not that she didn’t want to celebrate his achievement.

She was so so proud of him but her therapy session had got moved up a day because the therapist had to go out of town.

YN didn’t want to bother him so she had went herself without telling him.

It was trauma-focused therapy which meant it was intensive, draining, and overall triggering at time.

Today had sparked a new memory that she had suppressed and she was really struggling to get through the day without his support.

She shouldn’t need him for everything. It wasn’t fair to him.

So she’d sat on her bed for thirty minutes before she managed to pull on a nice dress before curling her hair - zoning out and accidentally burning herself lightly.

Harry had to pick up Anna, offered to pick up YN.

“Hey pup, y’want me t’pick you up on the way?” Harry had called while she was swiping on mascara.

“No, I’ll just Uber,” YN try to keep her tone light but couldn’t stomach sitting in the car with that disgusting woman right now.

“No, let me come get you,” He insists, always preferring to drive her around over some stranger.

“I really don’t want to be in the car with Anna, okay? Just drop it,” YN replies a bit too tersely.

There’s a pregnant pause.

“What’s wrong, puppy?” Harry knows her much to well.

She couldn’t help but bristle, “Nothing. I just have to get ready. Okay? I’ll see you there.”

YN shouldn’t have hung up like that but her hands were shaking and it was taking all of her might to pull herself together to go.

“It’s all your fuckin’ fault your mum hates me,” Her dad had spat at her, right in the kitchen after dinner.

“Fuck,” She mumbles to herself as she drops her lipstick and it rolls under the dresser.

—

She canceled two Ubers before she found a driver who didn’t seem intimidating.

It made her fashionably late, everyone already seated, and it doesn’t make it any better when Anna greets her.

“About time. Can’t even make it at a respectable time for your supposed best friend’s dinner.”

Anna and Gemma both make a grimacing face at the rude comment but Harry interrupts before they interject, “S’okay, Uber’s can be a pain in the arse.”

“Er, yeah. The Uber…” YN mumbles lowly, there was an empty seat across from Harry that had been saved for her.

She could feel Harry’s eyes following her, studying her as she kept her head down and looked on the verge of tears.

“You look too much like your goddamn mother.”

“What d’you want to drink?” Harry asks softly, tapping her foot under the table.

“God Harry, she’s not a child,” Anna rolls her eyes as she glances over her menu.

Harry glares over at her with a strict warning glance that she needs to change her attitude or there is gonna be an issue.

“Just water,” YN replies, swallowing hard.

He knows somethings wrong when she doesn’t bite back at her, instead looking down at the menu like it’s the most interesting thing ever.

Harry had already known by the phone call.

There were quite a few people at the dinner, constantly engaging him in conversation as YN kept to herself.

It’s after the appetizer’s arrive that he can’t stand her fake smiles and attempts to seem like she’s enjoying herself.

“Outside, now,” Harry says firmly, not a question but a statement.

“Harry, don’t,” Anna huffs, not liking the private attention her enemy is about to get.

“I don’t remember askin’ you,” He hisses under his breath before following YN’s retreating figure to the main entrance.

They end up in the small alleyway, “Tell me what’s going on.”

YN’s eyes are moody, putting back on a nonchalant expression that would work for anyone but him, “I’m fine, I don’t know why you’re making a big deal. Let’s go enjoy your dinner.”

Harry backs her up against the brick wall, hand over her shoulder, “We’re not goin’ anywhere until you tel me. M’not stupid.”

It triggers something because she starts sniffling, whispers, “You’re going to be mad at me.”

His hard facial features relax, pressing his forehead to hers, “Please pup, y’know I love you no matter what.”

“My therapist moved our session to today. I went and uh…” YN begins to full on cry, burying her face in her hands.

“C’mon, tell me,” He encourages softly.

“It triggered a repressed memory. I…I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you. I fuck up everything for you already,” She chokes out, letting him pry her hands away.

“Puppy,” He murmurs with a laugh of disbelief, “I fuckin’ wake up everyday because of you. You make my life worth livin’. I’m not happy unless y’are.”

“I just…didn’t want tonight to go like this,” YN sighs quietly, “One night without my trauma.”

“Hey, hey. We’re workin’ through it together, yeah? It takes time. Y’made the effort to come and that means more to me than anything else,” He says truthfully, tilting her chin up.

Harry melts a bit when she leans up to give him a lightening fast peck, “I am so proud of all your accomplishments.”

“Wouldn’t have done any of it without you, sweet girl,” He rubs a thumb under her eye to wipe off a streak of makeup.

They stand outside for a minute longer in a tight hug.

-

When they walk back into the restaurant, Harry quietly asks Gemma to switch YN seats which she graciously agrees without a fuss.

Anna is shooting daggers at YN while the change happens and Harry pushes in her seat for her.

The whole dinner consists of Anna fuming and hanging on every single movement between the two despite her hand on Harry’s thigh.

When he scoops up a bit of his mashed potatoes and feeds them to YN, laughs when she makes a face at the amount of chives mixed in.

It’s like he doesn’t even noticed the casual arm he occasionally throws around the back of YN’s seat as they chat.

“Harry,” YN scolds with a small smile when he steals a shrimp from her plate when she’s not looking.

Anna had shrimp too and he didn’t look once to do that to her.

“S’good, here, have a bite of m’steak. Know Y’don’t like it rare but s’good. I promise,” He encourages, cutting her a thick piece.

How the fuck did Harry know how YN liked her steak?

He didn’t even remember Anna’s favorite color.

“Y’gettin’ sleepy?” Harry whispers to YN towards the end of the meal, his lips are nearly brushing her ear and Anna pinches his thigh hard.

“Fuck,” Harry replies, flinching away from the pain as he turns to his girlfriend, “Wha’ did you do that for?”

“Can you pay at least a little bit of attention to me? I’m your girlfriend despite how much YN wants to pretend she is,” Anna says haughtily, loud enough for her to hear.

Harry is about to snap on her but instead YN speaks up first, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know jealously was on the menu. Eat up, Anna.”

Anna begins to sneer but Harry says, “Why don’t you go take a second in the bathroom? Then we can talk, okay?”

With a little stubbornness, she does - stomping away from the table without looking back at YN who had rolled her eyes.

“Y’on my menu tonight? A bath and cuddle sounds nice,” He offers to his love, thumbing her upper thigh.

“So nice,” YN agrees, “Can we use that sugar cookie bath bomb?”

“Of course, anythin’ you want, m’pup,” Harry hums sweetly, kissing the top of her head.

Anna is walking back when she sees it.

He’s cheating on me.

It flashes through her mind but she pushes it away because she reminds herself that YN is a pathetic little clingy girl who Harry wouldn’t ever like that way.

—

Later that night, Harry holds YN as she recount her memory.

Praises her for being so strong.

Kisses her because he loves her so much it hurts most days.

Assures her that he’ll love her even if she’s never ‘fixed’.

Promises that he’ll never let anyone hurt her again.

—

I’d love feedback 🥺

taglist babies (thank you): @dioc4ne @hazgoldenstyles @harrysdimple05 @wonwooen @ficnarry @leeroysdancer @harrysloveheart @harryscherrysugar @pradastardust @rish-haz @wildcstdrexms @evanstylestan @wisetoadbonkbiscuit @meredithhuntt @tpwkvictoria @lovely-him @haymix @eiffelmezarry @pilgrim-harry @soullessbabee @afterglowstyles @tulsasjesus @elenagilbert01 @meh–mood @pretty-pop-princess-hs @msolbesg @localfalsegodstan @evanjh @i-just-like-fanfics @harrys-hs-gf @lightsupdoyouknowwhoyouare @afterglcwswift @harrystyles-tpwk @amyvandijk @godilovetheenglishx @harrys-cherrry @theprofessionalfanby @your–sweetest–downfall @la-cey @bdbtchdir @killerqueencapstan @elizabeth23567 @camflowervol6 @its-a-finee-line @rish-haz @solonelytobe @nav1234 @harrynamjoon @hopefullimaginer123 @westallenhes @awesomebooklover17 @will-be-a-fineline @vasilikir5 @your–sweetest–downfall @pretty-pop-princess-hs @harrynamjoon @harrypinks @ivyirenehoax @harryspink @sunsetcurve-h @goldenstylesh @mouthfulloftoothpastehs @hello-34583 @prettylovley @nicolecarsley @lamariettes @imavirginhoe @unknown7549 @mellamolayla @kiwitsayedsugar

[chateautae]

maybe i do | kth. III

➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳  part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 17k (im sorry omg)

➵ warnings : oh boi we have aNgSt, serious familial issues, swearing, multiple fight scenes, mainly verbal but there is a slap in one, mentions of a wound, mentions of alcohol, (there’s honestly a lot that goes wrong in this chapter but at least tae and the reader have each other), sexual tension :o, bit of possessive!tae, (i mention a short reader a lot but i just wanted to say you’re beautiful even if you’re tall! tae is just very tall to me askldjs)  

➵ a/n: i’m back and hoLY is this chapter loaded (and a lil unedited forgive me!!) i’ve finally finished school and get a whole month off now! who knows what works i’ll release in that time 👀. as always, feedback is appreciated loves!

chapter three : “the window opened one time with you and me”

prev. ↞ || ↠ next  ||  masterlist

“Mother?” You stood frozen, completely and utterly shocked as to how your mother was just opposite of you, smiling brightly as if she hadn’t done a single thing wrong in her life and loved you unconditionally.

How incredibly wrong that was. 

“Y/N! How are you? Oh dear, it’s been so long!” Your mother threw her arms around your neck, pulling you against her for a hug you just barely returned. 

“Good. You?” 

“Oh, I’m great!” She beamed.

“What are you doing here?” You inquired, shutting the door after her entry.

“Ah, I just couldn’t believe my daughter’s married now, I wanted to drop by and say congratulations!” Your mother cheered, grinning widely as she began scanning the grand interior of your house, leering as though you weren’t standing just before her.

“Drop by? You could’ve just came to the wedding, Mother...” You suggested despondently, plastering a pained smile onto your face. You attempted to meet her eyes, though they rather seemed to sparkle at anything that appeared expensive.

Anything but you. 

“Oh, I was in Ibiza. I couldn’t just leave while my resort pass still had benefits on it, you know me.” She flashed you a cheeky smile as she playfully hit you, propping her heels off.

You nodded half heartedly, trying extremely hard to not lose it on her because you were in your home; a place meant for peace and comfort and didn’t have room for negative.

Not to mention, Taehyung resided just upstairs in his study with most likely his door open, and you didn’t want to risk bothering him if you raised your voice. 

“Ibiza was more important than your own daughter’s wedding, huh?” You spoke to yourself, nodding in a manner that would somehow help you accept the sad fact, though instead called forth a feeling you should’ve grown accustomed to by now.

Disappointment.

She knew about the wedding, you knew your father informed her of the ceremony along with its date and time. Though as she audaciously ogled the embellishments of your front foyer and spoke to you carelessly, she practically screamed she gave 0 fucks about your wedding. That what really mattered to her was living out the full experience of an expensive vacation than attending a life-changing night for her daughter. 

Typical. 

“Oh, c’mon now. When you put it like that it makes me seem so bad.” Your mother pouted like a child. “It wasn’t a real marriage, anyway.” She waved off the conversation as she ventured further into the house, bold enough to strike another conversation . “My God, this is the house of the Kim Taehyung?” Your mother’s eyebrows shot up, drinking in the grand size and wealthy look of the home. “You got very lucky, Y/N.” 

You cocked an eyebrow, incredulous of what she was insinuating. “What do you mean, Mother?” 

“Y/N, you’re married to Kim Taehyung. Do you understand how fantastic that is? For you?” Your mother was on the verge of scoffing, smoothing over her dress as she looked elsewhere. “He’s an incredibly rich man, and considering that life of yours it’s a miracle he ever agreed to marry you.” Your mother relayed nonchalantly as she caught sight of an exquisite vase. 

And there it was, the belittling. You’d mentioned before you were often disparaged and received numerous insults when anything concerned your status as the runaway heiress. But what you failed to mention was the person who claimed the #1 position as your largest and most incessant hater. 

Your mother. 

“Mother, it doesn’t matter to me whether a man is rich or not.” You countered, trying to quell your snippy tone but it was as grand a fail your mother was at being a mother. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Unlike you, I’m not obsessed with my husband’s money.” You almost spat with crossed arms, only this comment causing her to turn towards you. 

“Excuse me? I’m your mother, watch your tone a little.” She scolded quite lightly, before returning to inspect a painting. 

You scoffed, “My mother...” you repeated under your breath, rolling your eyes. 

“No mumbling, Y/N. Speak up.”

“I said it’s funny you’re referring to yourself as my mother.” You voiced clearer.

“And why is that so funny?” You could visibly see your mother failing to control her temper with you, masking it all behind a fake smile she mastered ages ago. 

“Because you’ve been anything but a mother.” You retorted, knowing exactly what this conversation was leading into. 

An argument.

“And you’ve been daughter of the year?” Your mother countered, sarcastic tone cutting the air, and it only made you more irritated. 

“Here we go again, the bad daughter narrative.” You scoffed. “Find something new to argue, will you?” You narrowed your eyes.

“And you believe your bad mother narrative is any better?” She sneered back. “I’ve even come to visit you yet this it how you’re treating me. When will you ever learn to be grateful?”

“Please, you chose a vacation over your own daughter’s wedding.” You held a hand up, gesturing against her audacity. “And when have I ever been ungrateful? I don’t remember biting the hand that fed me.” 

“No, Y/N, you didn’t bite the hand that fed you, you completely neglected and abandoned it.” She claimed, drawing closer towards your direction. “You left this family to pursue your own selfish desires. You’re the very definition of ungrateful.” 

“Excuse me? Definition?” 

“Yes, definition. You threw everything your father worked so hard for away. All he ever wanted was to provide his family with a comfortable life, but you instead wasted his efforts and made everyone's lives so much harder. Do you really think I’ll forgive you for what you did to your older brother?” Your mother voiced in an accusatory tone, bringing up an age old argument you knew was going to ravage any peace between you two. 

“That was not my fault, he was already due for the same thing in Korea, it doesn’t matter if he’s in the U.S now.” You argued back. 

“It’s all your fault! You’re the reason Yoongi hasn’t been able to come home in years! You ruined his entire life by making him uproot and take over the U.S faction when it was your role. Your decision to leave forced him into it!” 

“So you’d rather have my life uprooted and ruined than your precious son’s?”

“Because my son isn’t like you! He isn’t selfish at all, Yoonie is a hard-working man who’s always listened to me and your father, always rightfully prioritized the company. But you? You’ve only ever made things worse. You’re completely useless, all you do is tear this family apart. Your father has to pick up your work, you keep your brother out of this country and give me years worth of stress!” Your mother shouted louder than she should’ve, angry as her eyes revealed searing frustration, contempt. 

You were trying to negate the hurt you felt by her words, having trained yourself to endure their sharp sting, though no matter how many times you heard them, it never made it any easier. 

“Oh please, your favouritism is showing, mother.” You remarked with near tears, her disregard for you so disturbingly apparent it left your eyes watering. 

“Yoongi has always loved his work and the company, but I never have. When will you understand that? If I’ve ruined our family so much why have I never heard these same words from Dad or Yoongi? They’ve always supported me, understood and loved me regardless of what life I chose. Why can’t you do the same? Why can’t you just try to understand me for once?” 

“Because there’s nothing to understand. You’re an heiress to this family, you are meant to live for this company and this company only. You owe your father and I your life, nothing has ever been yours. The least you could do to pay us back is by rightfully working at the company and not being as much of a disappointment as you are now.” You mother’s tone was strict and resolute, utterly fed up with you.

“Cry me a river, mother. I don't owe you a single thing. You’re one to talk about working alongside Dad and the company, all you’ve ever done is use his money without a single care for his work.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me, Mother, all you do is use Dad for his money. You know next to nothing about business or the company and have the least amount of right to lecture me about it. At least I’m not a woman who mooches off somebody and lives recklessly!” You snapped back at her with tears just pooling your lash line, arms crossed tightly holding your chest where it felt your heart would collapse.  

“Do you understand who you’re talking to? Speak with respect, Y/N, I am your mother.” She tried to finalize, but you weren’t having any of it. 

“And I could care less. You’ve never once done anything to warrant that title. All you’ve ever done is travel the world and bathe in the luxuries your husband affords you without ever being there for me or Yoongi. It was always dad despite being so busy, it was never you. You weren't even there for my wedding, when I needed my mother the most. No, you’re someone who’d rather use your rich husband and forget he’s a person.” Your voice was shaking at this point, practically rattling. “You may not have been there for my wedding, but I would never do that to my husband.” You let everything out without a care at the point, flooding the tense air. 

Your mother seemed to completely lose it at this, her tone scarily still as she gritted through her teeth. “You wouldn’t do that to your husband, really? Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing right now?” 

You flashed her an incredulous look. “Pardon?”

“You’re married to one of the richest men in Seoul, and you think you’re not doing the same thing? Whose house do you live in? Whose food do you eat? Whose lavish lifestyle do you now get to relish in? It’s all your husband’s, not yours.” Your mother was practically spitting venom at this point, scoffing. “I must say, your quest for independence is interesting, having landed you in the exact same place you always berated me for. Look where you are now, mooching off your rich husband.” 

If words could dagger you in the heart and looks could kill, you’d surely be 6 ft. under by now.

Years, years you’ve been stuck in this constant loop of back and fourth with your mother, arguing the same 5 things you could never see eye-to-eye on. And no matter what she said, no matter the insults, the belittling, the verbal abuse she always spat your way; you’d grown used to it. Her words became normal, second nature to you and so you easily drowned them out. Her insults became useless weapons you simply dodged and avoided. 

But this, this was where your mother won. 

Her words dawned a laughable sense of irony on you, nearly physically reeling as though someone had punched you in the gut at the realization. It was raw agony, the very prospect you’d spent the entirety of this ordeal evading. 

To think the same independence you fought so gravely for, can so easily be erased and forgotten all due to marrying a rich CEO. It felt pathetic, unfair you had no choice but to marry Taehyung. It wasn’t his fault he was rich, neither was it yours. 

It was just coincidence, pure and utter coincidence. But to think this very coincidence would be the reason your stomach is churning and self-worth is collapsing; it was fucking unfortunate, miserable. 

“Leave my house, this instance.” There was no emotion in your voice, it was flat, vision clouded.

“What did you say to me?” 

“I said get out!” You yelled, the shrill in your voice evidence of tears. “I don’t ever want to see you again!” 

“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me! I’m your mother!” 

“You’re not my mother at all, you’re the worst excuse of one. Leave my house!” 

“It’s not your house, Y/N! It’s your husband’s, and you will end up living the same life as me, using your husband for his money!” Your mother had somehow made her way over to you, having the audacity to push you back by your arms, driving her point home by the act of aggression. 

You gritted through your teeth, eyes teary. “I’ll never be like you, I’ll never be a cheap woman who only stays with a man for his money. A woman who probably cheats on her husband with wealthy men in other countries!”

This was the moment your mother gasped scandalously, becoming so irate she didn’t hesitate to raise her hand and slap you across the face. 

You stood emotionless, not even having the capacity to feel shocked or in pain due to how normal this was. There wasn’t a single unfamiliar thing about the sting of her hand, the way her manicured nails scratched against your skin and worse, the way her wedding ring usually cut into your cheek to produce a small wound. 

It was all too familiar, making you scoff as if this was exactly what you expected from her, exactly what you've always known. 

“You still hit your grown daughter, huh? The last 10 years of it weren’t enough?” You endured the ache, swallowing back tears. You weren’t letting them spill, not at this. 

Not at something as undeserving as your mother. 

“You give reasons to, Y/N.” Your mother simply crossed her arms and looked away, showing the slightest hint of shame though never allowing it to leak into the proud and egotistical persona she assumed around you. 

A suffocating silence pierced the air, looming for some time until you spoke. 

“Leave this house, mother. I beg of you.” You pleaded, not out of desperation, though out of sheer tiredness. Tiredness of the same argument and the same insults you always directed each other, tired of the same outcomes that only ever lead to more bitterness tainting your relationship. “Don’t make this any worse, we’ve probably disturbed Taehyung upstairs.” 

Your mother looked at you with lightly raised eyebrows, inquiring. “He’s home?” 

You nodded faintly. “Yeah, so leave.” 

“Am I not allowed to meet him?” Your mother seemed offended. 

“No, you’re not.” You stated firmly, not caring about the sliver of respect you thought you had for her and instantly pushing her towards your front entrance, nabbing her shoes along the way. 

“What are you-” She didn’t even get to finish her sentence before you swung the front door open, guiding her outside and shoving her shoes in her hands. 

She was about to retort until you shut the door on her, locking it. You leaned against the wood as you heard her protests, not minding her calls as you allowed your constrained tears to finally stream down your face. 

It was too much, she was too much. 

Why could your mother never see eye-to-eye with you? Why couldn’t she be a normal mother? Why couldn’t she be supportive? All she ever did was preach how useless you were, how selfish and ungrateful your very existence was.

Of course someone like her could never understand, never understand the value of autonomy and achieving something for yourself; she’s never once done anything along those lines in her entire life. 

Her words ran deeper today than they ever have, sending a stifling feeling to swarm your chest, your self-esteem and everything alike collapsing along with your pride.

It hurt, it really did. To hear those words from the very woman meant to love you so dearly, so unconditionally only exacerbated the pain. It made you jealous of every child you was gifted with a kind mother, not daring to curse anyone for it but simply feel it was unfair. Even Taehyung had such a warm and loving mother. 

Maybe that’s why Taehyung was so warm. 

Taehyung. 

You realized you were out in the open shedding tears where he could possibly see you, trying to silence the sobs that escaped your lips. You only failed, agony tightening your chest and growing more painful the more you held it all in. So you clutched your hand to your mouth and made straight for the kitchen sink, running the water loudly enough to drown out the sounds of you candidly crying. 

Your cheek still stung, your heart ached and your mind spun endlessly, all while trying to desperately rid yourself of the worthless feeling inside you. 

And it didn’t work. 

Taehyung had been working, scrolling through his laptop as he diligently reviewed status reports, only to have a notification brighten his phone screen. He flashed his occupied vision towards it and caught sight of his security system alerting him of his front door. 

He grew curious knowing the housekeepers were shopping for groceries at this hour, causing him to tap the notification and display the camera feed of his front porch. He was welcomed by a woman he’s never seen, peaking his curiosity. 

He almost rose from his seat until he saw the woman turn towards the door in accordance with you opening it, assuming you most likely knew her as she smiled brightly and ventured comfortably into the home. 

Taehyung shrugged it off and returned to his tedious reading, staring at the practically blurring lines of text until he eventually began hearing raised voices from downstairs, his ajar doors and grand home producing an echoing effect that reached his study. 

Taehyung cocked an eyebrow as he grew slightly worried, discerning it didn’t sound like a friendly conversation. He abandoned his work and made towards the doors of his study, peaking towards the direction of his stair railings that overlooked the first floor of his home. 

More of the conversation became apparent, and Taehyung instantly identified it sounded more like a negatively charged argument than a conversation. His eyebrows furrowed the more he listened, knowing it was bad manners to eavesdrop though finding himself doing so anyways. 

“You heard me, Mother, all you do is use Dad’s money. You know next to nothing about business or the company...” Taehyung’s eyebrows shot to the sky, realizing you were speaking to your mother; the same woman you explicitly expressed was to be avoided at all costs and even winced at the mention of. 

He couldn’t forget that from the first time he met you. 

“...Speak with respect, Y/N, I am your mother. ” The crudeness in your mother’s voice was already indicative of your ill relationship, the harshness sounding like second nature. 

Taehyung grimaced. 

“...All you’ve ever done is travel the world and bathe in the luxuries your husband affords you without ever being there for me or Yoongi...” Yoongi? As in your brother, Min Yoongi? Taehyung only loosely recalled Min Yoongi lived and worked in the States, where he headed your father’s lucrative faction there.

He’d only met the mellow, though diligent man a couple times before.

“...I would never do that to my husband.” Despite the intense situation, Taehyung felt the slightest tinge of pride hearing you refer to him as your husband.  

“You wouldn’t do that to your husband? Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing right now?” 

Oh fuck, Taehyung thought. This isn’t going anywhere good. 

“You’re married to one of the richest men in Seoul, and you think you’re not doing the same thing? Whose house do you live in? Whose food do you eat?...”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

Taehyung became alarmed, silently drawing his index finger and thumb over his lips in frustration. You didn’t need to hear this, it was complete bullshit. Your situation with him was different, it was forced and coerced. Taehyung could tell you were someone who truly didn't favour using someone else’s money, and knew you were trying your damn hardest to adjust to the idea itself having to spend your life with him. 

He rushed out into the hallway where he began pacing, trying his hardest to contain himself and hope that you wouldn’t take your mother’s words to heart. Was this why you were so adamant about the fucking card? Because you had to hear shit like this from your mother? 

This was only going to undo the work he’d successfully laid out, thinking it would erase any convincing he had done about his money and what’s his is yours. This was bad news, he didn’t want you thinking any of your mother’s words were true. 

They simply weren’t. 

“Leave my house, this instance.”

“What did you say to me?”

“I said get out! I don’t ever want to see you again!”

Taehyung was becoming anxious, the argument was clearly escalating and he felt uneasy, an incessant feeling bothering his chest. 

There it was again, that same sense of protection he felt when he saw you practically shaking talking to that Kisoo guy. He didn't understand why it manifested, or why he felt it so emphatically. All he knew was after hearing the way your voice nearly cracked, unstable and troubled as you grew more emotional, he felt the strong feeling to oddly.. rescue you? 

It’s like he wanted to bolt down the stairs, physically stand in between the argument and force your mother out of the house, all while trying to persuade you what she said wasn't true. 

Why did he feel this way? This was none of his damn business, had absolutely nothing to do with him yet if it weren't for half the mind he had, he could’ve found himself racing down the stairs to defend you.

Taehyung shivered at the thought, shaking it off.

“... you will end up living the same life as me, using your husband for his money!”

“I’ll never be like you, I’ll never be a cheap woman who only stays with a man for his money. A woman who probably cheats...”

And not long after he heard the slap, evidently hard and painful in just it’s sound. Taehyung immediately froze in his tracks, halting his pacing as worry blossomed in his chest. He prodded over to hide against the edge of the wall that connected to his staircase, able to peak at the sight of both you and your mother stood before the front foyer. 

Taehyung felt pissed within seconds, again unable to decipher why he felt the need to protect you. Though what he did know was that he felt bothered, never wanted anyone to hurt you and he hated the very thought of it. 

Maybe it was because of his considerate personality again, or maybe it really was because of you. 

What made Taehyung grow even angrier, though, was the way you reacted, listening to you dub this as something that happened often, and he was uber pissed now. 

You didn’t fucking deserve that at all. 

It took him no time to understand your apprehension and natural disliking for your mother, wanting himself to never have to converse with her. He would most likely be rude and curt, replaying the same vile words she really had the nerve to say to her own daughter. Scratch that, his wife. 

Yeah, Taehyung thought. My wife shouldn’t be treated like this. 

He knew it was wrong, impolite of him to assume and judge a person so openly based on their cover, though Taehyung could tell these were your mother’s true colours, and any other persona she assumed would only be a farce. 

Taehyung watched as you simply shoved your mother out of the house, shutting the door only to lean against it and allow the tears you’d hidden to fall down your cheeks. Taehyung turned his back and leaned against the wall, concealing himself to give you privacy. 

He knew it was already rude to have eavesdropped, even ruder to look on at such a vulnerable moment. It was rude because he wouldn’t even be able to comfort you, only watch as a dumb-founded bystander; rendered useless because it wasn’t his place to console you.

He knew nothing about you.

He really didn’t know your situation, the relationship you had with your mother. He couldn’t step on your toes and give you advice as if he knew you, nor supply you with words that would make you feel better; contemplating he’d possibly never be able to. 

He wasn’t your remedy, he wasn’t your muse, just a man you were forced to marry and now have to live with. A man who stripped you of your independence, ruined your life all just by his mere existence.

 And so Taehyung found even more reasons to not rush to you, simply leave you on your own knowing he was partly the reason for your pain, your suffering. That your mother only said such things because of him, that she only insulted you because of him. 

So he found himself retreating, walking carefully back to his study to mind his own business and continue his work, complete it as though nothing happened. 

But as each step seemed to grow longer, heavier, he found himself unable to retreat. Unable to function knowing you were probably hurting, unable to ignore you and so blatantly turn his back on you. 

So in a hasty, irrational decision, Taehyung found himself turning on his heel and rushing towards the staircase. 

You continued to sob quietly, thinking if you just let it all out now, cried just about hard enough all the sorrow would leave your body. So that’s what you did, bit your lips to contain the aching feeling in your chest as your throat seemed to constrict, swallowing all your feelings down in an attempt to poorly control them. 

You were in your own world, the sink’s water masking any noise behind you, and so when somebody’s hand reached out to rest against your shoulder, you were completely startled. You jumped, quickly shutting the water in a flash and refusing to look back at the culprit to save your pride. 

Whoever it was, they couldn’t see you like this. 

Though when you heard his dulcet, deep voice calling your name, you knew exactly who it was.

“Y/N?”

You straightened yourself up, breathing out the emotions ravaging your chest and stabilizing your voice to address him. “Hey, Taehyung. What um.. what are you doing here?” 

Taehyung could hear your solemn attempt to cover everything up, feeling your sense of embarrassment practically fill the air. 

“Nothing, just.. wanted to see you.” Taehyung said, unsure of how to approach this.

“You’re probably busy. You should go back to work.” You tried hard to sound okay while you practically swallowed back tears, clutching the counter of the sink.

“It’s alright, not important.” Taehyung waved it off, letting his hard remain on your shoulder seeing you didn’t reject him. A beat of silence lingered until he spoke again.

“Can you look at me, Y/N?” There was no pressure in his voice, just the same soft consideration you’d heard at the hotel suite a couple nights ago.

And you hated it, hated that it made you want to give in, want to so easily follow his request and bare to him whatever he wanted.

Until your last braincell kicked in. 

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry if I interrupted your work. Please go back to your study.” You voiced just barely above a shaky tone, trying your absolute hardest to sound just fine, seem okay. But the more Taehyung spoke, the more you felt your defense mechanisms slowly coming undone.

And you knew he knew.

“I wasn't interrupted.” He stated normally, his voice natural and yet he sounded so.. comforting? He was simply responding to you and yet his voice and presence seemed to soothe the sharp ache in your chest. 

It was fucking poetic. 

“I’m sure I did, Taehyung. Just please, return to your work.” 

“I don’t need to, Y/N, I can stay here.” He was firm as he stood behind you, measly hand against your shoulder and his usually intimidating, towering figure reassuring.

It was odd.

“You shouldn’t. Just go back, Taehyung.” You attempted to voice with more strength, trying to blink tears away and it didn’t convince Taehyung in the slightest.

“I don’t want to. Look at me first.” His voice sounded calm, and it was really like honey. Thick yet sweet, so deep and yet it’s cadence harboured the ability to put anyone at ease.

You shut your eyes tightly, wiping at them hastily to rid any tears as you sniffled and turned around. You were met by his face that slightly softened at the sight of you, eyes seeming to melt as they swirled with consideration, different from his usually unreadable expression. 

“See, I’m fine. You can go back to work.” You plastered a smile on, trying to stand a little more confidently, though Taehyung didn’t budge. 

He only remained, gazing at the features of your face as he seemed to drape his own with a small sense of sadness, like he was upset, maybe even hurt? It was slight, though identifiable. It left you quite speechless, thinking it was all just part of your imagination.

It couldn’t be real.  

But it exactly was as Taehyung’s large hand came up to gently touch the cheek your mother slapped. You didn’t realize it hurt more than it should’ve when you felt a sharp sting at his touch, wincing.

You registered there was probably a visible mark and grew too vulnerable, downright embarrassed for your liking and so you deflected him, smacking his hand away from your face as you looked off to the side. 

“I’m fine, Taehyung.” You declared, and Taehyung didn’t know how to react as his hand came off you, feeling a bit disheartened. He simply wanted to help, and he didn’t want to leave without doing so.

So he still looked at you, eyes possibly growing sympathetic though it could’ve been a figment of your imagination again.

“You didn’t deserve that.” He voiced soft in sound, though resolute in nature.

Taehyung was having trouble choosing what he could say without overstepping, invading a part of you he probably shouldn’t. 

“I didn’t ask for a pity party, Taehyung. Go back to work.” You said with a more snippy tone than you planned, though found it befitting of your current emotions nonetheless. 

“I’m not pitying. I’m..” Taehyung struggled for a word until you answered. 

“What, caring?” You scoffed, “Please, Taehyung, you don’t have to care like my real husband, it’s only on paper-”

“But I am your real husband.” Taehyung emphasized, his serious eyes meeting yours. “It’s on paper and in real life, so I think I’m allowed to care.” Taehyung retorted with narrowed eyes finding he liked that sentence, liked what it had to convey because it was damn true. 

Taehyung decided on reaching for your arms to drive his point home, though watched as you again, naturally retracted from him. You still seemed to refuse him, didn’t see him in a good enough light to not cower away. 

And he still fucking hated it. 

Taehyung went for it anyway and gripped your arms when you began to draw away, catching you. The action nearly demanded you look into his eyes, and found yourself doing exactly so. 

“Y/N, first, don’t be scared of me, please?” His eyes grew soft. “I seriously-I really hate it. I would never..” Taehyung trailed as his vision fell to the side of your face, eyes seeming to reflect concern.

You were completely surprised, watching him unmask a plethora of emotion you didn't think he’d so candidly reveal.

Taehyung brought his hand to brush your slightly swollen cheek, continuing. “I would never do this, do anything to scare you. I just wouldn’t.” Taehyung was emphatic and genuine, gently touching the fresh wound on the apple of your cheek.

“I.. know that, Taehyung.” You again felt that same urge to touch his hand that touched you, but you decided against it. “Though I don’t need your pity. This doesn’t hurt, don’t break a sweat about it, please.” You were trying to turn away from his hold but Taehyung didn’t let go, maintaining you in his hands.

“It’s not pity, Y/N. It’s sympathy. This bothers me, okay?”

“I don’t need it. I’ve got myself-” 

“But you’re not alone.” Taehyung suddenly stated seriously, tone permeating the air and you just about froze. You only looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, trying to decipher what he was trying to say.

“You’re not.. alone, okay? You have me.” He spoke as though he was trying to convey a meaningful message, trying to mark his own words. “In whatever way... you have me.” It was a hesitant claim, but it felt just like when he’d made his promise to you at the altar. 

And suddenly you found yourself giving in, sighing as you registered this was all pretty much an elaborate reflection of the lesson you learned not so long ago.  You and Taehyung are married now, and no matter how that status manifested itself, you had to accept what came with it.

Especially if it meant him.

“Okay.” You replied simply, multiple emotions masked by the plain word. 

Taehyung looked at you a little surprised you’d actually accepted that, but broke into a genuine grin you hadn’t really seen before. 

And you really did like the way he smiled.

He made you want to smile too, though as your facial muscles worked for the grin your cheek stung, wincing as a result. Taehyung exclaimed within a matter of seconds. “Ah, don’t move.” He cautioned, smiling a little when you chuckled at his overreaction. “Don’t worry, Taehyung. It’s alright.” 

“Alright, my foot.” Taehyung joked, bending down to inspect your wound closer than you expected, and you hid the feeling that shot through you because of his proximity with a nervous laugh, causing you to wince again. 

“Hey, what did I say?” Taehyung chastised you lightly, lips in a straight line as he shook his head disapprovingly. “C’mon, let’s treat this.” 

You immediately whined, feeling too lazy to get something so small and insignificant treated. “Taehyung, it’s not even that bad, why?” You pouted. 

“Cause it’ll leave a mark on your pretty face.” Taehyung smiled innocently, not even caring about the effect it left on you as he found your hand and tugged you along to the second floor. Your eyes only remained widened, never letting up the surprise that took you. 

Did he just call you pretty? 

You let Taehyung lead you to your master bathroom, where he situated you by the counter and shuffled around for his first-aid kit. He finally retrieved the box, dabbing some alcohol onto a cotton swab and bringing it to your face. 

Taehyung just about performed the action until he began struggling bending to your height, wanting to carefully apply the alcohol. So he tried different angles and maneuvered himself around, all coming up useless. “God, why do you have to be so small?” Taehyung huffed under his breath as he stood to his full height, contemplating how he’d accomplish this. 

“I’m not small, you’re just really-” You were about to complete your sentence until Taehyung’s hands suddenly grabbed your waist, lifting you in a single breath and propping you up onto the bathroom counter. You would’ve exclaimed, maybe protest though believed it would’ve made the heat in your face so much more apparent.

“That’s better.” He grinned, biting back a chuckle at your flushed face and widened eyes.  

Those fucking eyes. 

Taehyung then found it easier to apply what he needed, cleaning up the wound precariously before dabbing on some ointment to avoid any scarring, only missing a bandage to place on your cheek. Taehyung searched for one in his kit and drawers, though came up empty-handed. He became puzzled as to where he put his bandages, placing his hands in his pockets to think until he felt the familiar scratch of a wrapper.

He furrowed his eyebrows at first until he figured exactly what it was. 

And he suppressed a stupid grin. 

Taehyung pulled out the wrapper and watched as you avoided eye contact with him, cheeks still clearly warm as you swung your legs on the counter in anticipation of him.

Cute, he thought.

He ripped the wrapper, chucking the garbage aside as he drew close to your face. His breath suddenly fanned you, mere inches from your face with his lips so proximal you were stupidly remembering your kiss from a couple days ago.

He was just so close. So close that you could actually discern he had this pretty little mole on his cheek, even one just underneath his eye, lining his lash line. You smiled realizing he had such unique details, even seeing he had a mono-lid and a double eyelid. Then came his obvious features, his plushy, pink lips, his chocolate eyes, his soft hair and sculpted face structure. It made you want to hide your own face out of near insecurity.

He was just so beautiful.

You watched him as he focused on you, trying to calm down your oddly racing heart, feeling the sensation of his closeness shoot through your body. He smoothed the bandage over your cheek and drew away far too earlier than you wanted.

“There. Apply something before putting a bandage on, right?” He cocked an eyebrow and looked at you knowingly, crossing his arms. 

You immediately smiled at the sentiment, realizing it’s the same line you said to him during your first exchange, and you felt your heart just slightly, slightly flutter at the thought he remembered.

“Right.”

It had been a week since that incident.

Taehyung and yourself had assumed your regular lives, having to drudge back to work after a few days off.

Your mother’s words still lingered around in your head, spoiling your mood here and there though assuming the ever-so healthy manner of simply pushing the mentally detrimental thoughts away, distracting yourself with work. 

You wish you could detail anymore interactions with Taehyung, though they were scarce with how rarely you saw each other. You both either just missed each other, were too busy to pay attention or simply came home too late. Even sleeping together was hit or miss, usually either of you crawling into bed earlier than the other with no real exchanges.

You could say it made you feel just a little sad, though not entirely considering you two were genuinely busy people, Taehyung an even busier person.

That all came to a full stop though one Friday morning, you were seated by the island and staring at your most recent design for a building, iPad pen twirling in hand. You were sipping on coffee when Taehyung pulled out a chair and suddenly startled you, coffee almost spilling.

“Jheez,” you huffed, “you scared me.” 

“Sorry, you were just really focused.” Taehyung apologized as he placed his own iPad down, reading away.

It’d been like this the whole week, you either designing and leading projects at your own job with Taehyung the ever-busy CEO at his own company, causing you both to often sit in each other’s presence though never take your eyes off your screens.

“Hey, I wanted to tell you something.” Taehyung suddenly perked up, stopping his scrolling. 

“Hm?” You looked up. 

“I should’ve told you this sooner, but we have to attend a gala tonight.” Taehyung grimaced at how sudden this seemed, arms crossed as he leaned on the counter.

Did the action really have to make his biceps pop?

Anyway, you were nearly spitting out your drink for the umpteenth time because of Taehyung, eyes blown out at his abrupt news. 

“Wh-what did you just say? Tonight?”

“Yeah, one of friends’ companies. 25th anniversary since establishment.” Taehyung went to bite a piece of his toast with strawberry jam.

You noticed he liked strawberries and didn’t like bread crust, making you want to smile sometimes at the child-like charm he hid underneath his intimidating persona. “They’re holding a huge gala and he’s one of my best friends, we’ll have to attend.”

You eventually came to understanding him, trying to wrap your head around having to suddenly attend such a high-end event. 

“This event is also going to be our first public appearance together. It’s important.” Taehyung stressed, back to scrolling through his iPad. 

“That’s alright. I don’t mind going, it’s just...I don’t think I even have a dress for a gala.” You mentally sifted through your own wardrobe, coming up short once you realized you haven’t been to an extravagant event like that since you were a teenager.

“I know, I bought one for you.”

You should really stop drinking beverages around Taehyung because you can never seem to keep them in your damn mouth. “You bought one? Taehyung..” You whined. “What did I say about giving me things?” 

“Hey, what did I say about giving you things?” He scolded you lightly. “I give you things simply because I want to.”  

You pouted. “Still, you don’t even know my size, when did you even have time?”

“That doesn’t matter. It’ll fit you, don’t worry.” Taehyung sent a smile as he deflected your question and returned to his iPad, not wanting to reveal that he’d secretly referred to your other dresses in your shared closet for your correct measurements.

“But it probably wasted your time. I should’ve gone out and bought it myself.” You felt guilty, realizing it probably made him compromise his work.

“It wasn’t a waste of time.” Taehyung countered, not really liking how you considered yourself not worthy of spending time on.

“I- thank you.” You blurted out before his statement could effect you. “When does the event begin?”

“7. You should try getting off work early to get ready.” Taehyung suggested, sipping his tea as he looked at you.

“Oh God, I’m gonna have to doll myself up. I haven’t done that in ages.” You held a hand to your mouth, trying to digest the fact you’d probably have to look like a trophy wife. 

“I could get you a makeup artist and hair stylist.” Taehyung offered. 

“No, it’s okay. I think I’ll be fine. I just haven’t been to a gala in a long time.” You felt surprised about the fact yourself. “I’m gonna have to meet so many people.” 

“You will, but I’ll be there.” Taehyung assured, glancing up at you.

“Of course, but you won’t be with me the entire night. I’ll have to brush up on my rich people skills.” You blew a raspberry, knowing you had great interpersonal skills but just didn’t like acting so fake all the time. 

“I won’t leave, just stick with me the whole night.” Taehyung stated as he absentmindedly held his index finger to his lips reading an email, quite goddamn illegally if you had to say so yourself. 

“I will.” You confirmed, erasing at a line on your iPad. “Will you come home early too?”

Taehyung clicked his tongue disappointingly. “I will but just barely on time. Friday’s mean meetings for me, so I can’t leave early. I’ll get ready at work, come back inside the house to get you.”

“Okay.” You’re not sure why you felt suddenly sad he wouldn’t be home earlier. Maybe it was just the usual feeling of not wanting to be alone, because God forbid you actually started getting used to Taehyung’s presence. 

Taehyung rose from his seat and cast his iPad to the side, sliding on his suit jacket as he glanced at his watch, checking the time. You noticed yourself and flashed your vision to your iPad, gawking at the time and realizing you could be late. 

“Oh shit, I have to go.” 

“Me too, I’ll see you tonight, okay?” Taehyung confirmed as he made his way to the front door, fixing his sleeve. You propped off your own seat and began walking towards the stairs, just about ascending until Taehyung suddenly called your name. 

“Y/N!” He peeked out from the front door, seconds from leaving. 

“Yes?” 

“I hope you like the colour, it’s one of my favourites.” Taehyung smiled sweetly, sending his last farewell before he dashed out of the house. 

Your eyebrows shot up and practically gawked, immediately running up the stairs thinking of where to find this dress. He had to have hidden it from you considering he’s been doing so ever since he mysteriously bought it. 

You instinctively rushed into your shared bedroom to grab a scrunchy for the day, all distracted until you caught sight of a white box adorned with a black bow sitting atop your bed. 

Your eyes went wide just reading the infamous label. 

Chanel. 

You had to physically keep from flooring yourself, in disbelief he’d purchased you a Chanel dress. You were even more fearful to uncover it, the information of him buying it himself raking your brain. 

It was even his favourite colour, nearly swooning at the fact he chose for you to wear his favourite colour. So you made your way over to the box hesitantly, untying the ribbon and casting the lid aside cautiously, only to audibly gasp. 

Your eyes fell to a ruby red dress with a delicate V neckline, completely blown away he chose such a bold colour for you to wear. 

You carefully grabbed the dress to take it out of its box, revealing more to discover it was a floor-length gown. It produced a small train though lifted in the front to reveal the shoes you’d wear, the skirt of plain, thick fabric until you saw the torso area; light beading expanding from the stomach area eventually leading into the skirt. 

Shock wasn’t even the correct word to use, you were stunned, completely taken by his choice. The dress was simply gorgeous, beautiful in its own right and you were almost too afraid to wear it. 

Nonetheless, this event was important to Taehyung, so you took a deep breath, tucked the dress back into its box and mentally prepared yourself for the day ahead. 

It was bordering 6:30 now. 

You’d successfully left work early, around the 2 o’clock mark to come home and indulge in a 4 hour self-care routine. It’d seriously been too long since you last attended an event similar to this, grand in size and visited by at least a hundred people. 

It reminded you of your engagement party, though not entirely since there would paparazzi and would be your first real appearance with Taehyung ever since your wedding. 

And quite frankly, you really wanted look better than you did then. You labelled it pretty much a disaster since you were a catatonic mess regretting all her life choices, probably looking unappealing in all your photos. 

Along with knowing the impact Taehyung has, not only in the business world but in general also left you wanting to up your game. You were his wife now, and that came with a high amount of scrutiny and criticism having nabbed one of the most eligible bachelor’s in Korea.

You’d already given up ever checking any articles and avoided social media, knowing that there would be inevitably nasty and judgmental comments. This night was important though, where you’d flank him as the women he’s so-called ‘in love with’ or the ‘love of his life’. 

It also dawned on you Taehyung in fact had a high-valued reputation to uphold, and so did you as his wife. 

So as you stood before the mirror in the walk-in closet, inspecting your dress, you contemplated how you’d survive this night, how you would act as the perfect, most suitable wife to Taehyung. 

You really wanted to hide your face out of how dolled up you looked; your makeup was on the elegant side, not heavy but brushed up to look soft, completed with red lipstick that matched your dress and hair set around your face in loose waves. 

The dress looked almost embarrassingly good on you, Taehyung somehow having chosen the right sized dress as it hugged your every curve right, accentuating the right parts of your body and even the V neckline not dipping too low, but showing quite the generous amount of skin. 

You couldn’t stop blushing at all. 

Taehyung had finally arrived at the house, rushing inside quickly registering he was cutting the time close. “Y/N! I’m home!” he called for you, quickly checking his appearance in a mirror as he smoothed pieces of his parted hair, curling just before his eyes and revealing some forehead.

“I’m in our room!” 

He approved his own look in the mirror and jogged up the stairs, mentally preparing himself before he’d have to see you in the dress he chose, almost excited about it. 

He’d simply loved it at first sight, and couldn’t stop pondering what the striking colour would look like on you. So as Taehyung entered your bedroom, he became confused finding it empty. He then ventured further inside, catching sight of the ajar closet door and light beaming through. 

He sauntered over carefully, peeking inside and Taehyung’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor, almost stupidly. 

His eyes fell to you standing in front of the mirror, fidgeting as you looked at yourself in the dress with the back of it undone. 

And Taehyung had never seen anything more pretty in his life. 

He was speechless for the umpteenth time because of you, not even knowing how to begin a sentence because he might sound like a second grader if he did. So all Taehyung could muster up the literacy to say was “Wow.” 

You turned around instantly, eyes looking as though you were a deer caught in headlights. Taehyung’s eyes widened even more peering at the elegant front, jaw almost slack as he scanned over your body.

“T-Taehyung.” You couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

Taehyung still seemed to be struggling a little, eyes glued to you until he cleared his throat and looked away. “Um, yeah?” 

“S-sorry, but.. could you actually..?” And you did it again, angling your back towards Taehyung to call to the zipper of your dress. You really couldn’t try zipping it yourself, which left it sitting comfortably just at your lower back, your skin exposed to Taehyung. 

You could visibly see Taehyung flash his eyes to your skin until he looked elsewhere, nodding as he licked his lips. “Sure.” 

You watched him near you, his face blank as he took a handful of your hair and softly placed in front of you. He then brought his hand against your side to hold you in place, his other working for the zipper. It was another case of his rather hot breath fanning your back, almost teasingly zipping up your dress by simple inches. 

He was close again, closer than he’s been in a week and you sincerely hated it always affected you in some way. It made your chest flutter, suck in a breath you didn’t even need to hold in. You relaxed when Taehyung finally finished, his hands gripping your arms from behind as he looked at you through the mirror.

And for some odd reason, he liked how your heights contrasted each other. 

He had the slightest hint of a smile, eyes seeming to gleam with something you couldn’t quite decipher. 

“You look pretty.” He said, gazing at you through the reflection and you had to physically stop from beaming like an idiot. Your chest fills with butterflies, face collecting with heat at his compliment. 

How could an Adonis like him call you pretty?

You bit your lip, gazing up at his taller, impeccably dressed reflection as you admired him, his every feature crafted to a degree of perfection that left you in awe. 

“You look really handsome.” You complimented, watching his lips just about curve into a smile that met his eyes, and you wish he didn’t have to look so handsome when he smiled too. 

“Thank you.” He voiced before turning you around by your arms to face him. “Make sure you wear a coat tonight, it’s cold.” He informed, you nodding until your quick eyes spotted his tie loosened by just a centimeter, throwing you off. 

“Oh, your tie.” You exclaimed quietly, reaching for it without a thought and pushing it upwards, angling it to perfection. Taehyung suddenly froze, unexpecting of you doing such a thing and so proximal his nose flooded with your perfume, liking the scent. 

Peonies. 

He tensed with an unknown feeling until your gazes locked on each other, simply looking to look while your hands remained on his tie. He realized more than a second passed and Taehyung scrambled for something to say, sputtering.

“I’ll uh.. I’ll be waiting out front.” He assured as he stepped away, exiting the room quickly and leaving you to your lonesome. 

This was gonna be one hell of a night, you thought.

“Remember, there’s going to be a lot of cameras and people here. We’ll really need to act like a couple.” Taehyung sat beside you in the back of an Escalade, manspreading in all his glory and you were sincerely glad he couldn’t read your mind.

“Got it, let’s give em’ a show.” You cheered with your little fists, determined as the car arrived at the lavish venue. 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Taehyung mimicked your action. “Don’t worry about getting nervous, I’m there.” He assured for good measure, gauging your affirmation.  

You nodded as you took a deep breath, smoothing over your dress and fixing your hair. Taehyung unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned into you, speaking near your ear. “I’ll get out first and open the door for you, wait here.” You tensed at the action before nodding again, Taehyung making his way out the car. 

He then opened your door as promised within seconds, greeting you with a warm smile as he held out his hand for you. You grinned back at him affectionately as you took it, adjusting your dress to step onto the concrete. 

You were met by dozens of camera flashes and a yelling crowd, shouting various things you couldn’t quite make out. You were almost distracted by it and felt a small sense of anxiety creep up you, until Taehyung pulled you flush against his side, hand curving around your waist.

You smiled up at him in accordance, and he beamed back as he walked you two down the carpet leading into the venue, casually ignoring all the noise and people. 

Taehyung guided you inside safely to where you were welcomed by a beautiful looking hall, pristine and extremely elegant. It was surely fitting for a grand gala. Your eyes caught a small crowd of photographers in the foyer snapping photos at a certain wall with a backdrop, curiosity dawning on you as Taehyung led you towards the coat check. 

“What’s happening there?” You pointed towards the scene. 

“Oh, exclusive press.” He snuck a look, stripping off his coat. “They’re the ones I was talking about, they’re gonna take pictures of us.” Taehyung answered distracted as he retrieved your coat and gave both to the coat checker, smiling a thank you. 

You didn’t even have time to really respond as Taehyung dragged you to the very scene, the pair of you next to have photos taken. You tried to process the whole thing as he walked you over, mentally preparing to look your best until Taehyung suddenly whispered lowly in your ear again. 

And again, it sent shivers down your spine. 

“Just smile and hold me, okay?” Your chest fluttered for an odd reason, nodding back to him as he brought you in front of the line of photographers. 

You stayed true to your promise and tucked an arm around his torso as the other draped his chest, closest to him as you could. Taehyung almost settled next to you until he felt something at his feet, noticing he was nearly stepping on your gown. 

He broke away from you, unexpectedly bending down to catch the skirt of your dress and delicately fix it behind you. You heard the hushed exclamations of the photographers, most of them doting on his considerate act as you just about protested, though suddenly remembered Taehyung’s words from today. 

It was probably better to stay silent. 

So you simply smiled as you watched Taehyung adjust your dress, feeling a warm sensation spread across your chest when he returned even though it most likely was for show, his hands coming back on you. 

This time you didn’t try to suppress anything, allowing some of your feelings to manifest into a real smile, remembering you were to appear as a couple anyway. 

And whether or not there was some truth to your expressions, was anyone really keeping track?

You two began posing for the photographers, smiling in all directions and clutching onto each other closely. You occasionally tried different angles to look better, everything going smoothly until you heard someone shout out, eyes widening as a result.

“Kiss her!” 

It wasn’t long before the other photographers began agreeing, encouraging Taehyung to kiss you and you had no clue how he would react. You were slightly biting your lip as you were occupied avoiding eye contact, that was until Taehyung quietly called you.

“Y/N, look at me.” 

“Hm?” You instinctively responded and looked up at him, completely taken by surprise when Taehyung suddenly planted a soft kiss to your forehead. Your eyes visibly went wider, only his chest to stare at until he eventually disconnected.

He returned his eyes to you and grinned at your wide-eyed reaction, suddenly reminding you. “Smile,” he encouraged with the flash of his own boxy grin, wanting to see you smile. 

And it damn well worked. 

Taehyung was right about the size of this gala. 

Huge. 

It was grand, the entire hall seeming to be spat right out of a castle with about a hundred fancy-looking people inside. You thought it would’ve been uninteresting and difficult to communicate with others tonight and put on your best fake smile, though the night’s atmosphere amassed with champagne, good food and great conversationalists left you in a better mood than you expected. 

It was actually quite fun, finding yourself genuinely conversing with the people Taehyung dragged you to meet, keeping to your promise of staying right by his side the whole night, and he kept his, never having left you. 

You’d met various people, having gotten familiar to Taehyung’s high-status world of business and relations. Long story short, Taehyung knew a lot of people, and you were surprised at how extroverted he suddenly seemed.  

He was practically a social butterfly, not having forgotten a single name of who he spoke to along with somehow remembering personal details about their lives. It left you impressed, joining along with his light-hearted conversation with your own extrovert tendencies. 

Everyone you’d met had been nice so far, but by far the most amusing people you’d met had to have been Taehyung’s 5 best friends, the same ones you’d seen in his photographs. 

“Y/N, this is Kim Namjoon and Seokjin, they’re brothers.” 

Both tall and quite frankly broad men greeted you warmly, one of them having a nice dimply smile while the other was far too handsome to be looked at for free. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” They said after another, reaching out to shake your hand. “We’re co-CEOs of one of Korea’s largest private airline.” Namjoon of the two informed.   

“Likewise. And wow, that’s impressive.” You complimented. “Might I also say, you’re both.. tall.” You had to almost crane your neck to meet their eyes, thankful for the heels you were wearing as the group laughed at your remark. 

“Perhaps, though you’re quite short yourself, Y/N.” Seokijn commented light-heartedly, causing you to playfully pout and retort him. “Oh c’mon, I hear that from Taehyung already, not you too.” You giggled, absentmindedly leaning into Taehyung as he tensed, your body pressing into his. 

“It’s cause Taehyung likes short girls, teasing means he likes you.”  A built looking man with longer hair suddenly joked, nudging Taehyung with his elbow.

“Shut up, Jungkook. I was gonna give you a proper introduction, not anymore.” Taehyung scolded, though Jungkook persisted. 

“Well, you just said my name, that’s already half the intro.” Jungkook then gently took your hand, placing a chaste kiss against the back of it you didn’t expect at all. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. Jeon Jungkook, CEO of Korea’s largest game development company.” Jungkook sent you a kind smile and it was hard to not compare him to a bunny, his teeth reminding you of one. 

“Yah, don’t do that” Taehyung swatted Jungkook’s hand away, protesting disapprovingly. 

“Woah, did Taehyung just get jealous?” Namjoon inquired shocked.

“Somebody get their phone out, we’ll need evidence I didn’t hit him first.” Jungkook held up his hands in mock surrender. 

“Jungkook, the only thing we’re finding in our phones is videos of you nibbling on carrots.” Taehyung quipped and it made the group chortle, yourself speaking up at the mention of a rabbit. 

“Actually, I was thinking you resemble a bunny.” You simply wanted to voice an observation, though it sent the whole group into a frenzy. 

“See Jungkook! Other people notice it too!” A man you hadn’t been introduced to yet suddenly burst out, though you could automatically tell he gave off this radiant energy that was infectious. 

He almost felt like the sun. 

“Whatever, Hoseok, you’re like a squirrel.” Jungkook countered and you digested the man’s name for information. 

“And you’re a rabbit, you better buy me what we wagered.” Hoseok scolded from what you could assume, was the younger of the two. 

“Wagered? I don’t remember anything about that.” Jungkook feigned innocence as he looked off to the side.

“Jungkook, we were all there that day, you owe Hoseok a vending machine.” Namjoon spoke up, laughing through the remark. 

“Guys. Y/N is literally right here, we didn’t even introduce ourselves properly.” A man with a fairly sweet voice interjected. He had such soft visuals, almost similar to an angel if you wanted to be honest. 

He then looked to you with a sweet smile, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Park Jimin, CEO of Park Hotels & Resorts”

“This is his event.” Taehyung informed.

“Ohh, nice to meet you!” You perked up, his aura making you feel all comfortable and giggly, there was just something about his bubbly energy. 

The man named Hoseok then extended his hand, “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Jung Hoseok. Sorry for the late introduction, but I basically own a bunch of famous clubs across Korea.” He laughed all dimply and warm, and he really did remind you of the sun. 

“Oh wow, hopefully we’ll get to visit sometime! Clubs are so fun.” You lit up, all excited about a good club scene until Taehyung ruined your fun. 

“Nuh uh, not after your little drunk scene at our engagement party.” Taehyung looked down at you and chastised. 

“Taehyung, it wasn’t even that much. Don’t be dramatic.” You scolded him back. 

“Alright Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, I almost had to carry you.” 

“I was walking just fine last time I remembered.” You crossed your arms and feigned innocence, Taehyung growing scandalized. 

“Oh really, now?” He cocked an eyebrow, just about to continue until Namjoon interjected. “Looks like married life’s been treating you guys well.” 

“Of course, they look practically in love.” Hoseok beamed sarcastically, gesturing towards you both.

“C’mon, Taehyung, tell us what you love about her. Let’s see the simping.” Jungkook playfully taunted Taehyung, egging him on.  

“Shut up. You all already know our marriage isn’t real.” Taehyung rebutted the younger man, eyes narrowed. 

You were taken aback, eyes flashing to Taehyung. “They know?” 

“Of course they do, your best friend knows too, doesn’t she?” Taehyung was referring to Hana, and you acquiesced realizing he had a point. 

“You know, you guys say it’s a fake marriage but you look pretty close to me.” Jimin pointed towards Taehyung’s arm still hugging around your waist, causing you both to realize and promptly disconnect. 

“No, we aren’t.” You and Taehyung retorted at the same time, vision snapping to each other with shocked eyes. 

“Oh c’mon, Tae, you’re really gonna say about your wife?” Seokjin teased him, playful lilt to his tone. 

“Yeah, Taehyung, just look at her, how aren’t you whipped already?” Jungkook remarked as he gestured towards you, feeling shy as your feet shuffled. 

“I’m not answering that.” Taehyung bit back with an irritated tone, folding his arms as he broke eye contact with the group. 

You decided to lighten the mood. “Guys, please, the only thing Taehyung’s whipped for is his company.” You joked, and despite the small sense of hurt saying that sentence, you felt joy making the men suddenly laugh so loudly. 

Taehyung’s shy and embarrassed expression was even more priceless. 

“Oh my God, Y/N, you’re seriously the perfect match for him.” Hoseok added on as he laughed and you couldn’t help but bite back a smile, not knowing what he meant by that though taking it as a compliment.

“Alright guys, remember we had a mission: operation make-Taehyung-and-Y/N’s-marriage-seem-real-as-fuck.” Jungkook suddenly put on the theatrics and halted the group, changing the conversation. 

“Oh yeah, we had a whole plan, didn’t we?” Jimin remembered. 

“Yup. Gotta prepare them for nosey press and annoying relatives. We should start with questions they’d get asked. Make it like a fake interview or something.” Namjoon suggested, leading along the others as he pretended to hold a microphone. 

“You’re all some of the richest men in Seoul yet you’re acting like children. I don’t know you people.” Taehyung tried waving the men off while you couldn’t help but laugh, finding them the most fun people you’ve encountered. 

Childish or not, they were completely unexpected of what you thought a group of CEOs. They didn’t live up to the cliché uptight and uber sophisticated stereotype, rather open and acted however they chose. 

It was refreshing. 

“It’s cause we’re friends with you, Taehyung.” Hoseok shot back and it made everyone snicker. 

“I got it. Let’s ask them to spill some details about each other only they’d know. Someone’s bound to ask that.” Seokjin reasoned, gauging agreeance from the others. 

“Oh my God, you guys already know our marriage is fake. Why would you make this up?” You asked through a giggle, still finding the situation comical. 

“Sorry Mrs. Kim, but that’s precisely why, and I’m afraid we don’t know what you mean by ‘fake’. Now tell the good press something about Mr. Kim we don’t know.” Jungkook began the skit as he held his fake microphone towards you, the others joining in as though imitating paparazzi. 

“Alright, this is gonna be exclusive, pens ready?” You decided to join them, and they all nodded in confirmation as Taehyung flashed his eyes to you, unprepared for you to play along. 

“Mr. Kim is quite something.” You addressed him formally for effect. “He acts all mysterious and cool, but he’s actually just a cuddler who likes tea and cuts the crusts off his bread.” You relayed with a wide grin, all of them suddenly exclaiming and reacting like a high schooler has just confessed the name of their crush. 

“Oh my God, Tae, seriously? Bread crusts? What are you, like, 3?” Seokjin teased. 

“Hyung, your ears literally turn red when people give you attention. Are you 3?” Taehyung retorted and it only elicited more noise from the group, Seokjin exclaiming defensively and Taehyung bringing a hand up to his forehead, sighing. 

“Guys! Okay, let’s get some real answers here. We gotta know what Y/N would say if someone asked her.. maybe some things she likes about Taehyung. Let’s hear it.” Jimin got everyone back on track, attention on you. 

You smiled nervously and flashed a look towards Taehyung, who still had this arms folded and vision looking off to the side, ignoring the entire situation before him. 

You could tell he was pissed with the way his jaw locked, though the fact that he wasn’t paying attention made you a little more confident. 

Taehyung wasn’t exactly pissed, though if he could bonk all his friends on the head a few times he would. He knew teasing and jokes were all common within the group, he just didn’t expect to be the sole target tonight, and so he decided to smoothly neglect the conversation altogether. 

He was succeeding, not expecting you to answer their question seriously until Taehyung suddenly heard you speak up, surprised eyes flickering to you. 

“Hmm, if I had to say..” You were hesitant, Taehyung shocked you were even answering. 

What would you say? 

“He has nice, big hands.” You admitted softly, Taehyung’s brows raising with surprise. “He has a nice voice, too, and... his smile.” You added as you nodded to yourself, confirming your own list and Taehyung was left damn near speechless once again. 

He didn’t really know how to act, acknowledging his face as the most common thing people liked about him, rarely ever hearing those aspects of himself mentioned. 

And he oddly felt.. nice.

“Awh, now that’s cute, good job, Y/N.” Jungkook praised you, Hoseok then pointing his make-believe mic in Taehyung’s direction. 

“Your turn, Chairman Kim, what do you like most about your wife?” He mimicked an interviewer and everyone followed in accordance, mics shifting towards him. 

“Uhh..” Taehyung became slightly nervous under everyone’s scrutiny, not knowing if he should assume his usual unreadable nature or answer their request truthfully. 

“Tae, dude, if you don’t say anything then I will.” Jungkook declared, just about ready to speak again until you cut him off, snorting. 

“Don’t sweat it, guys. He won’t say anything.” You really knew Taehyung would have nothing to say, so you crossed your arms and became uninterested in the conversation.

Until Taehyung spoke. 

“She does this pouting thing.. with her lips. It’s cute.” Taehyung started, coming up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly and peer at anything but a pair of eyes. “Her height.. and her eyes. She has nice eyes.” 

The floor had to be tired of you by now, because Taehyung seemed to make you want to fall hard pretty often. You didn’t know what to do, eyes blown and nearly on the verge of choking, unable to believe a Godly being like Taehyung just admitted to liking something about you. 

Is this what it feels like to win at life?

His words kept ringing in your head, melting into a shy mess with your cheeks beyond hot, avoiding eye contact with everyone while Taehyung grew slightly embarrassed, similarly looking off to the side. 

“Holy shit, you guys are actually cute.” Jimin remarked through a chuckle as he  pointed at you both, you and Taehyung mirroring the same look of horror while protesting at the same time. “No we aren’t!” 

And it only made the men crack up even harder. 

It was laugh after laugh as that conversation went on, finding a quick and pleasant liking to Taehyung’s friends. They’d made it clear as day they liked you as well, to be precise they seemed to love you, making playful nudges at Taehyung for saying yes to someone just right for him; and you seriously pondered what that exactly meant. 

It was further into the night now, the gala having picked up in activity and passed the long social hour, now leading into more of a party scene as upbeat music filled the hall. 

You’d stuck with Taehyung the whole night as promised, having met more of the people he knew. The evening had been quite calm, both you and Taehyung having silently, though mutually ignored the conversation from before for sanity purposes, only focusing on the additional people you met. 

Taehyung and yourself had been talking up a storm with Jimin for the past half an hour, Taehyung introducing him as his best friend and getting the full run down of how that came about. It was highly entertaining, listening to mentions of alcohol, 4AM fighting and even an incident with dumplings. 

It had you three laughing merrily while music played, Taehyung’s arm draped around you like it had been for majority of the night, practically hugging you to him. He was elaborating on a story that had something to do with a dream-catcher, all smiles and giggles. 

That was until Taehyung suddenly froze next to you, sight seeming to set on a person behind Jimin and he immediately changed his aura. 

“Jimin, what the fuck? Did you invite him?” Taehyung cocked his head in the general direction, eyes set hard. 

Jimin’s eyebrows shot up and and casually looked behind him, registering the culprit himself and turning back to Taehyung. “Holy shit, no, I didn’t.” 

“Then why is he here?” 

“Fuck, I don’t know, Tae. My parents probably invited him, I’m sorry.” Jimin apologized as he rubbed the back of his neck, growing apprehensive.

“Don’t worry, Jimin. It’s just.. not him, not fucking him.” Taehyung’s voice grew a little darker, almost hateful as his hand gripped around you tighter.  

“Taehyung, what’s wrong?” You asked tentatively, though didn’t exactly get a response since Taehyung became distracted, talking more so to himself. 

“Why the fuck is he here of all people? Of all damn people..” Taehyung scoffed to himself humorlessly, clearly annoyed. 

“Taehyung, who?” 

“Nobody, we’re getting a drink. Jimin, please?” Taehyung and Jimin had a conversation with their eyes, Jimin immediately nodding and moving towards a certain man you barely caught sight off before Taehyung was pulling you away. You tried protesting, but the tightened grip around you and Taehyung’s frustrated expression was enough to shut you up. 

Something was seriously wrong. 

You followed him along quietly until you heard a bit of a commotion behind you, able to distinguish Jimin’s voice protesting. You almost looked back until a stranger suddenly snuck up on Taehyung, draping an arm over him. 

“Kim Taehyung! Where you going? Damn, it’s been long.” The man spoke as he lowered his hand to Taehyung’s back, nearly smacking it as though they were old time buddies. 

Though the expression that painted Taehyung’s face said completely otherwise; he looked extremely irritated, and not the playful type. 

“Hisung, yeah, it has.” Taehyung bleakly acknowledged him, said man with an arm still draped over Taehyung’s shoulders until he shrugged him off harshly, pulling you closer to him protectively.

It made the man direct his attention to you. “Oh, this is your wife, right? Nice to meet you, Han Hisung.” The man smiled and extended his hand, not knowing if you should extend yours until Taehyung blatantly cut the man off, physically blocking his hand. 

“Skip the pleasantries, Hisung, what do you want?” You were shocked to see this emotion on Taehyung; rarely having seen him frustrated, trying to manage his annoyance as he gave Hisung a dead stare, intimidating as ever. 

Though Hisung didn’t cower like everyone else did, seeming to rather thrive.

“I don’t want anything. I can’t just meet your wife?” He coated his tone condescendingly, gesturing towards you. 

“No, you can’t. We’re getting a drink.” Taehyung seriously seemed bothered as he began walking you away with him, the harder squeeze of his hand around you indicating he was either growing more irritated, didn’t want to let you go, or a mix of both. 

“Oh, c’mon.” Hisung pulled Taehyung back by the shoulder but Taehyung becomes irritated, shoving his arm away harshly. 

“Not now, Hisung. Not at Jimin’s event.” Taehyung warned him as though he was crossing a fine line, and you grew afraid of what would occur if that were compromised.  

“What, I’m not doing anything.” Hisung held out his arms, feigning innocence. “I gotta say though, if I wanted one thing it’d be to say your wife’s hot as fuck.” He cocked an eyebrow and began eyeing you in your dress, growing uncomfortable and sending him a dirty look, though you naturally leaned closer towards Taehyung and he took notice. 

“Say that again I’ll make you regret it, Hisung.” Taehyung’s jaw was locked, a protective feeling overwhelming him. 

“You’re seriously gonna introduce her to everyone but me?” Hisung looked offended. “She should know who I am, especially to you.” He tried making a point, eluding to something between them. 

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Taehyung flat out rejected him, his expression blunt as he seemed to radiate unbothered energy. 

“I think you should. She should know the kind of man her husband is, and what he’s done.” He said knowingly, in a daunting way that accused Taehyung of something that seemed deeper than it looked.  

“There’s nothing to know, and I never did anything.” Taehyung simply denied, as though he’s said this multiple times.

“Really? You don’t wanna tell her about how you sabotage people? Use your money to buy success?” 

Taehyung had to pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing out frustrated. “For fuck’s sake, how many times do I have to tell you? I’ve never done shit like that. Leave.” Taehyung finalized, attempting to control his anger.

You were trying to remain calm and look on objectively, though felt a sense of worry for where this was going, only Taehyung’s seemingly instinctive guard on you keeping you from anxiety. 

Hisung scoffed, “You know, your wife should know how much of a fucking liar you are.” He spat, his vision suddenly growing narrowed as he eyed you both suspiciously. “Come to think of it, wife kinda sounds like a stretch.” 

This time it wasn’t even Taehyung responding, you beating him to the punch. “Excuse me? The fuck does that mean?” 

“Oh, so she talks.” 

You were just about stepping forward to give this asshole a piece of your mind until Taehyung suddenly gripped onto your arms from behind, pulling you to him protectively.

“Hisung, what the fuck do you want?” Taehyung’s tone was leveled with a sense of controlled rage, clear effort to contain himself and you were completely understanding of that. 

“Not much. I just find your marriage suspicious, and if I do then others do too. Wouldn’t want to taint the precious Kim reputation with that, now would we?” The remark was sly, causing Taehyung’s hold around you to tense.  

“What the fuck are you implying, exactly? Try making some sense.” 

“Your marriage isn’t convincing, jackass. There’s no way you two are really married, don’t think I don’t know there’s something behind it.” He stared squarely back at Taehyung, determined. “And when I get my hands on that information, don't think you're the only one who can sabotage someone.” Hisung was resolute as he declared his threat, only making Taehyung more resentful, more rash. 

“Your opinion doesn’t matter to me, jackass. Nothing you do does” Taehyung was confident in the argument and it oddly made you proud, now understanding why he was so successful and well-acclaimed. It’s like he truly didn't care what others thought and only lived for the purpose of what he found important to him, contributing to his confidence and composed approach towards life. He carried himself with an affirmed sense of self-worth that never bordered egotistical, and you were lying if you said it wasn’t hot sometimes. 

Because scratch that, it was incredibly hot. 

Hisung laughed humourlessly, hissing. “I don’t think we can say the same about Mrs. Kim, though, her opinion should matter to you, right?” He then suddenly turned his vision to you and drew closer, speaking in a superficially saccharine tone. “Jagiya, you should really look into who your husband is. He’s not half the man he says he is.” Hisung suddenly came too close and Taehyung immediately tugged you behind him, shielding your smaller frame as his tone dangerously darkened. 

“Don’t call her that, and never fucking come near her.” Taehyung was seething now, clutching one of your hands so tightly you became worried of his heightened emotions.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Hisung mimicked him. “She should know I’d treat her better than her asshole of a husband, make sure she’s nice and satisfied with how much of a man I am compared to you.” Hisung remarked without a single care, and you nearly felt the blooding searing in Taehyung’s veins. 

But you could tell that was exactly Hisung’s goal; to rile Taehyung up and it unfortunately worked. No longer was the calm, cool and collected Taehyung you knew, instead feeling him suddenly rush towards Hisung with a fist until you gripped onto his jacket from behind, calling his name. 

“Tae.” Your voice was soft, immediately stopping him as you clutched urgently. Taehyung could hear the frailty of your worried voice, could feel your little hold on his jacket as he came to his senses.

Taehyung grinded his teeth hard as his fist tightened for a mere second before steadily loosening, calming himself down before he made his last remark. “Go fuck yourself, Hisung.” Taehyung spat with pure disdain as he turned around and swept up your hand, leading you away from the situation as far as possible. 

He pulled you along hastily, walking with a sense of speed that almost had you tripping on your dress. You were seconds from telling him to slow down until he stopped you both in a hallway.

“Taehyung, wh-” You almost got out until Taehyung suddenly pushed you up against the nearest wall, breath hot and heavy as he huffed frustratedly, raw anger written all over him. 

Taehyung’s entire towering body was unexpectedly inches from you, his forearms laid against the marble tiling above your head as he hung his own low, almost trying to conceal his face into your shoulder. It’s like he was blocking you off from any other person, defensively caging you as his chest rose and fell shallowly with white hot anger, your face tucked into his shoulder. His heated breath was continuously tickling the exposed skin of your neck, so close your heart was beating faster than it should’ve. 

You were only left shocked, hands fallen slack by your sides and unable to move. 

“I’m sorry.” He huffed out suddenly. “Fuck, I’m so sorry I’m just.. really angry right now and I can’t calm down.” Taehyung seemed infuriated though worried, his hands clutching into fists above you as he leaned in even closer, mere centimeters between you two as he remained pressed into your personal space.

“Shit, don’t be scared I just-fuck, I hate him. He’s the only person who makes me so angry.” Taehyung breathed out frustratedly, eyes shut as he tried to control himself. “And fuck, I didn’t want him near you. I don’t want him to talk to you. I don’t want anyone to fucking come near you.” 

Taehyung’s confessions kept coming and you were simply taken aback, another show of his emotions on full display and you wondered how he always so neatly composed himself.

“Tae-”

“Just stay in front of me, please.” He begged. “Where I can see you, just stay here.” He stressed, trying his best to breathe properly but only failed. “I don’t.. think I like when other guys are around you.” He confessed out of nowhere, trying to work through the claim hesitantly at first until he eventually nodded, affirming it. 

“Yeah, I don’t like it.” He declared as he continued to lean in, his proximity allowing for you to constantly smell his intoxicating, Invictus cologne; its sexy scent paired with his perfectly tailored suit hugging the curves of his large, broad body only arousing your nerves. 

“God, fuck.” He huffed out. “No matter what, stay away from Hisung. Never talk to him. He ruins everything he touches, every fucking thing.” Taehyung was dead serious, still hiding his face from you as he spoke angrily near your ear. “He’s been trying to ruin me for years. He’s already tried with everything else and he’ll come for you. He can’t ruin our marriage, and I swear to God if he fucking does anything to you-”

“Taehyung, hey, shh.” You brought your hands up to his chest to try calming him down, able to discern Taehyung ever rarely grew angry and when he did, just needed someone to quell his troubles. “Breathe, Taehyung, breathe, okay?” You spoke with a soft tone, trying to contrast the white hot anger you could sense in him by rubbing his chest pacifyingly. 

Taehyung immediately tensed at the action, almost in shock until he ultimately tried to breathe, slow and steady. 

“There you go, that’s better.” You encouraged into his shoulder, hands resting and lightly massaging as you inquired. “Talk to me, Taehyung, what’s wrong? Who’s Hisung?” 

“Fuck, I’ll get angry again.” He warned, breath still hot and heavy as you smoothed over his dress shirt, trying to soothe him.  

“It’s okay. I’m here, Tae, you have me. Tell me anything.” You assured and attempted to mirror his own words from a week ago, worried about his open show of emotions and thinking you should be helpful, make sure you're supplying all the support he needs because he may never be this open again. 

Taehyung’s temper was still high, more of his hot breath on your shoulder as he spoke, lips still by your ear and the bass in his voice sending currents through you. 

“It goes back 3 years, rival companies.” He began. “His father was dismissed as CEO and they held a shareholders meeting to decide a new one. Long story short, he won the vote, but only by a 49-51 percent margin. He barely scrapped by, and after he was appointed CEO he found out his major shareholders voted against him. What made things worse was that right after, they pulled all their shares from his company and invested in mine, and he fucking-” Taehyung was growing frustrated again recounting the story, his body rising and falling faster until your hands snaked up to his jaw, fingers splaying across his cheeks as you held his face pacifyingly. 

“Taehyung, breathe again. You’re fine.” You felt him listen to you, breathing deeply as he became more composed again, continuing.

“He thinks I sabotaged him, that I colluded with his shareholders and used my money when I never did. I only had acquainted relationships with them at the time and never convinced them of anything. They told me they chose to invest because they saw me as the better company, the more competent CEO.” Taehyung was venting, and you let him exactly do so by attentively listening, holding him. 

“It wasn’t my fault, but he thinks it is. And now he’s made it his life’s mission to ruin mine, ruin anything he can get his hands on because he’s convinced I ruined his.” Taehyung sounded upset, clearly fed up with having to deal with such an incessant pain in the ass. 

“Just not you,” He sounded like he was pleading, a whisper. “Not fucking you, he can’t ruin us, or our marriage.”  

“He won’t, Taehyung. We won’t let him.” The pads of your thumbs smoothed over Taehyung’s skin, trying to ease him as he moved back slightly, vision meeting yours.

“Y/N, I don’t lie. I wouldn’t sabotage anybody, I don’t play dirty like that. Even if the business world is riddled with people like that, I would never do it. I’m not like that at all.” A hint of desperation leaked into his tone, eyes gentle as he so emphatically tried to convince you he was nothing like Hisung said. 

And you found your heart softening thinking about the fact that it affected him so much. That while he didn’t care what others thought of him, he somehow valued what you thought. 

“Taehyung, don’t worry, I know, okay? You’re completely fine. He just tries to rile you up because he knows you’re better, more competent.” You slid your hands back down over his neck, letting them rest over his strong chest again. It made your breaths uneven, registering how close he was to you, just inches from your face. 

“He probably knows those shareholders chose you because you’re the better CEO. He knows it, he just tries to deny the truth by looking for ways to ruin your life, so he doesn’t have to accept he’s inferior.” You offered earnestly, rhythmically smoothing him over. Taehyung’s eyes suddenly swirled with a sense of ease, his tense body now seeming to relax. “You think so?” 

“Of course, Tae. You’re nothing like that, I know you’re not.” You said determinedly, gripping his shirt lightly to drive your point forward, eyes conveying warmth. 

Though the response that met you was Taehyung gazing into your eyes boldly as he heard you address him so casually by a nickname already, his look containing something you couldn’t decipher, and it left butterflies swarming your chest. 

You didn’t realize how intoxicatingly close you both were in this position; Taehyung’s arms caging you against the wall, body pressing into you as he looked at you, not breathing hard anymore but hotly, like he was feeling something he was attempting to manage. Your hands funnily contrasted the size of his chest as he glanced at them, then up at him, clutching him a little tighter the more the tension seemed to build.  

It was obvious now, both of you were merely staring at each other, Taehyung’s Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed and your eyes followed the movement, something unknown alighting inside you at the image. It called necessary attention to his sculpted neck and you found yourself wondering if you’d ever get to lay kisses on it, possibly even mark it

You bit your lip at the thought, hating that such an idea dawned on you, igniting with something unholy the more you breathed in his sexy scent, his large body enclosing you. It sent chills down your spine, trying to contain yourself by shifting and clamping down on your lip harder.

Taehyung’s eyes flickered to the very action, his undivided attention now on your mouth. He could feel every harder squeeze of your hands on his chest as the heat rose, fisting his own hands against the wall with the need to draw himself closer to you, especially with the way you looked right now. 

Taehyung already couldn’t keep his hands off you when you resembled the hottest, and yet most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen in that dress. Either a sweet angel descended from heaven or the right kind of demon he craved. It was even more difficult knowing it’s a dress he chose, adoring the way you were wrapped up in his favourite colour, and thought red has never looked better on anyone else.

It also made him think of some things he shouldn’t speak aloud. Though Taehyung knew you, and knew you weren't ready for anything of that sort, so he remained collected and only stuck to having an arm around you tonight, mindful of boundaries. 

But when you were under his scrutiny, smaller self tucked against a wall because of him and clearly hot and bothered yourself, your exposed skin raking his brain, he couldn’t keep from nearing your lips. 

He’s once felt how soft they were before, seeing on multiple occasions how plushy they truly are and desiring to feel that same soft sensation again. So he disregarded all thought, coming forward inch by inch as he gauged your response, and when he viewed you fluttering your eyes shut and lifting your head towards him, he fought back cracking a smirk. 

Taehyung was milliseconds from connecting your mouths, feeling the skin of his lips blissfully brush yours as his sweet breath invaded your mouth, only for a frantic voice suddenly calling out his name to interrupt, the very culprit tumbling into the hallway. 

“Taehyung! Y/N- oh shit.” Taehyung immediately ducked his face away from you and you hastily let him go, Taehyung puffing out frustrated air as he met his friends’ eyes. “Jimin.. what?” 

“I-uh. I’m sorry, but I got Hisung kicked out and we’re gonna start the last toast. You guys should um...be there.” Jimin cleared his throat and began shuffling, avoiding eye contact with the both of you. 

“Okay, we’re coming.” 

“Sorry, again.” Jimin bowed lightly and nearly made a break for it. 

Taehyung sighed heavily, pushing himself off the wall and straightening up as he freed you, finally able to breathe peacefully. 

“We should um.. go.” He voiced awkwardly.

“Yeah.. just give me a second. I’ll be back from the restroom.” You dared to make eye contact with him to seem unaffected, though panicked the instant your gazes locked.

“Okay.” He nodded, seeming unbothered.

You grasped the skirt of your dress and your heels clacked against the tiled flooring as you scurried off, needing to find the bathroom to see whether or not you appeared as much of a mess as you felt. 

You bolted inside and ran towards the sink, spotting two women possibly your age by the mirror though ultimately ignored them, patting over your cheeks to feel how warm they were. 

Were you really just seconds away from kissing Taehyung? Kissing him? What would’ve happened if Jimin never walked in? Would you have kissed him for however long, would you have stopped it? 

Even better question, why didn’t you stop it? Why were you so ready to kiss him, maybe even excited by the very idea? It sent a chill down your spine, even recalling that Taehyung stated earlier he liked your lips. 

Kim Taehyung liked your lips, the same ridiculously high-status, wealthy man people were on their knees for, practically Seoul’s most powerful CEO and Korea’s seemingly unattainable bachelor; that same Taehyung was the one who liked not only your lips, but your height, even your eyes. 

He said they were nice. 

You didn’t even want to unbox the entire Hisung situation. He so naturally defended you, even held you back out of consideration for your safety it seemed, and it frightened you how much you liked it, liked that he was so protective and made all those confessions about disliking other men around you.

It may have been possessive, but you fucking liked it. 

And you already felt doomed. 

You were simply imploding on yourself, having your own personal meltdown when one of the two women audaciously addressed you, tone light and airy. 

“Oh my God, are you Min Y/N?” She inquired. 

You flashed your eyes to her, answering with furrowed eyebrows. “Uh, Kim Y/N now, but yes.” 

“Wow, so you’re the woman Kim Taehyung married?” The other one perked up. 

“..Yes.” You answered confused.  

The other woman really scoffed here, scoffed, “Song-i, it’s the other way around. She married him.” The rather rude looking woman clarified, and you found out right after just how rude she was. “The Kim Taehyung would never willingly marry someone like her.” 

Your expression immediately contorted, unbelieving of her audacity. “Excuse me?” 

“Don’t think we’re stupid, everyone knows you seduced him into it.” She nearly spat, tone snobby as ever. 

You guffawed humourlessly, truly having it up to here with today because it seemed never-ending with bullshit. “Think what you want, but I didn’t seduce him.” 

“We know you’re lying, he wouldn’t marry some runaway like you. You came out of nowhere, you clearly got into his bed before you got him to the altar.” The other one added on, painting their twisted narrative together. 

“It wasn’t like that all, but if you want to think so because you’re not the one he takes home at night, then be my fucking guest.” You countered them, look sharp enough you were sure you could cut a diamond. 

They both took immediate offence, having the audacity to near you and invade your personal space. “You’re not the only woman he’s taken home, do you really think you’re special?” She insinuated something you weren’t dumb enough to not catch, heart sinking at the thought. 

“What exactly are you trying to get at?” 

“The fact that he married you as a favour, you runaway, and everyone knows your marriage isn’t love at all.” She relayed with a snippy tone. “Don’t you get you’re just charity to him? Everyone knows it, sweetie.” 

You were trying hard to think of a way to counter, though your stinging heart took the jab like it was white hot lightning. You felt crushed within seconds at the comment hitting home, sinking lower until you spoke up. 

“Our marriage isn’t your business. Maybe try getting a life before you revolve it around mine.” You spat as you sent them a petty look, making your way out and almost exiting until you felt a splash of water hitting the back of your hair, mouth falling agape at the sheer audacity of what just fucking happened. 

“Your life is fucking miserable. You’ll stay by his side but he’ll never love you. Keep acting like your his real wife and see what’ll happen. Everyone hates you and how you made him marry you out of pity. Watch your back, runaway, you never know when he might end it all and break your little heart.” You almost, almost turned around to land a right hook across the girl’s face until you decided against it, composing yourself with a breathing mantra and instead choosing your favourite way of leaving a bad situation. 

With a snarky last word. 

“Seems he’s already broken yours with this ring, huh? Stay mad at the ring bitches, stay mad at the ring.” You smiled condescendingly as you flaunted Taehyung’s twelve thousand dollar ring, walking out of the bathroom despite their exclamations and practically marching towards the hall, seething. 

You arrived inside and plopped down on your seat next to Taehyung bitterly, utterly vexed as you crossed your arms and grinded your teeth. 

“Hey, where were you?” Taehyung asked. “You missed the toast.” 

“Could’ve done it without me anyway.” You replied curtly, all the information you received in just 2 minutes ruling your thoughts and sending you into a storm of anger, spoiling your mood. 

Taehyung became confused. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Nothing.” You huffed and reached for your glass of water, taking a large swig and nearly slamming it back onto the table. 

Taehyung reacted surprised. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” He became apprehensive of your mood, grabbing your hand on the table gently as he searched for your eyes. 

Though he instead found your eyes flashing towards something else, someone else before you snatched your hand away, eyes set cold.  

“I said nothing.” 

Taehyung followed your previous line of sight and landed on two women finding their seats a few tables away, their own eyes immediately deflecting from him once he made eye contact.

And it really only took two seconds for Taehyung to connect the dots, recognizing their faces. 

Taehyung sighed heavily, feeling guilty and suddenly apologetic about the possible situation, knowing something must have been said to you. 

He turned back around, “Y/N, what happened?” He tried inquiring again, though you responded with absolutely nothing, completely crossed and avoiding him. 

He exhaled tiredly, this day having been the epitome of a joke. Taehyung was scanning over you again when he suddenly noticed the ends of your hair, distinguishing they were wet and he found it strange. “Y/N, why the fuck is your hair wet?” He was moving to touch the damp parts until you evaded him, tone rigid. 

“Nothing, Taehyung.” 

Taehyung sighed again, frustrated as he once again put two-and-two together, remembering you’d all come from the restroom and addressed you. “What did they say, Y/N? Tell me right now, is that why your hair’s wet?” 

“No, Taehyung, nothing happened,” You stressed, turning your body even further away from him and crossing your arms tighter. 

Taehyung determined he’s truly had enough of today and rose from his seat, you noticing though choosing to ignore him. Taehyung quickly resolved he was going to fix this, beyond agitated this entire day had been damned to hell. He was having a good time too, especially keeping in mind whatever in God’s name was happening between you two, and only knowing that it made him inexplicably happy for some reason. 

Though that mood was ruined now, Taehyung shaking away his thoughts as he began plotting his approach towards your situation, entirely pissed off as he made his way towards the bar, concocting his plan. 

It took Taehyung only a good 10 minutes to get what he needed, snatching the nicest bottle of champagne and trying to remember where he’d observed the two women sitting, strolling his way over to the table with his fakest grin.  

“Good evening, ladies.” He greeted with a saccharine tone as he neared them. 

“Oh my God, Taehyung!” One of the girls beamed. “We haven’t seen you so long, what are you doing here?” 

“Yeah, too long!” 

“It has.” Taehyung smiled. “I actually wanted to offer this.” Taehyung then revealed the bottle of champagne from behind his back, holding it out towards them. 

The two women became elated, practically cheering as they clearly admired Taehyung more than he liked. “Oh wow! Thank you so much!” One of them thanked, receiving the bottle bashfully. 

“You’re too kind, Taehyung, did you really get this for us?” The other inquired, a bright smile on her face. 

“Actually, I didn’t.” 

Both women looked at each other confused, eyebrows furrowed. “You.. didn’t?” 

“No,” Taehyung responded with a bleak expression in near offence they’d assume that, smile wiped from his face. “You both did.”

“Wh-what?” They both questioned, incredulous. 

“I put it on your tabs, geniuses. There’s 6 more bottles, by the way.” 

Both women’s eyes went wide, immediately protesting. “T-this is the most expensive bottle of champagne here!” They looked annoyed, and Taehyung was all about it.  

“I know.” Taehyung smiled condescendingly, drawing closer to the women and dropping his tone to a scarily low, threatening octave. 

“Say anything to my wife again and I’ll make sure you pay more.” Taehyung finalized and rubbed his tongue along the inside of his cheek as he walked away, smirking. He ignored their protests as he passed by the bartender, winking for the 6 other bottles of champagne to be delivered to them. 

Taehyung then made his way to you, now in a hurry to leave this awful night behind as he gently gripped your arm, speaking into your ear to not alert anyone else at the table. “Y/N, we’re leaving.” 

Taehyung didn’t really have to wait, you responding rapidly, “Don’t have to tell me twice.” You were already rising from your seat, done with this entire Godforsaken night yourself. 

You both stepped away together, just about reaching the hall doors until Taehyung stopped you in front, holding you by your arms. “Stay here, I’ll get your coat.” 

You nodded at him and Taehyung bolted off, wanting to nab your coat as fast as possible so he could drape it around you and practically flaunt your relationship in front of everyone. He didn’t care if it was fake anymore, didn’t care for the legitimacy of his actions; he simply wanted the world to know you’re his wife, purposely wanted those two girls and everyone to see him treating you affectionately.

And he most certainly wanted to squash any of the doubt Hisung called attention to earlier that kept bugging him, entailing your marriage already seeming fake to him, and could to multiple other people.  

So he retrieved the coats and came rushing back to you, having worn his as he approached you. You almost reached out for your coat until Taehyung halted you. 

“Don’t, I’m putting it on you.” He rounded the coat around your body, helping your arms into the sleeves. He pulled it snug around you and held onto the ends where it should’ve been buttoned, taking a moment to think. 

Taehyung simply gazed at you, licking his lips contemplating what more he could do in this moment that would be convincing enough, knowing there had to be people watching you two right now. 

He realized he was staring without having said anything. “Sorry, I’m trying to think of something to do for everyone watching but I don’t know what.” Taehyung flashed to your lips and his mind explored the idea, though ultimately fought against it. 

“People are watching?” You inquired.

“Yeah,” Taehyung clutched onto your jacket, trying to think as he looked at your little bundled up self. 

“But I’m not sure what to do-” Taehyung was cut off by you suddenly grabbing his tie and crashing your lips onto his in a single second. 

Taehyung’s eyes blew out, taken by surprise until he found himself quickly melting into your kiss, hands gripping your jacket tighter. He couldn’t help himself from opening up his mouth to catch more of yours, lips sensually kissing yours in a slow, unhurried pace. 

You instantly loved the way he kissed, Taehyung somehow having taken control when you were the one who initiated everything, completely taken by his pillowy, delicate lips. 

Taehyung didn’t care if your lipstick smudged onto him or how brash the public display of affection seemed; all he cared about was the soft feeling of your lips against his own, and the sexy way you wre tugging him by his tie.

He knew it would stay on his mind for weeks. 

You were getting lost until he disconnected your mouths, only looking at each other with undecipherable feelings, shimmering eyes that had no clue what just happened. 

Taehyung smiled before sweeping up your hand in an instant, pulling you out of the hall and eventually outside to quickly sent a text to his driver, guiding you to the curb of the venue. 

He held you against him to keep you warm while walking, suddenly speaking up when something occurred to him. 

“You called me Tae, you know.” 

“What?” 

“My nickname, you called me by it earlier.” Taehyung repeated. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just heard your friends say it and it slipped out, I didn’t mean to-”

“Say it all you want.” Taehyung was grinning to himself like an idiot, thinking you weren’t looking at him but that’s exactly what you were doing, admiring the curve of his perfect cupid’s bow with hints of your lipstick smeared on him. “It’s better when you say it.” 

And now it was your turn to smile like an idiot. 

prev. ↞ || ↠ next  ||  masterlist

tags : @thedarkwinterrose​ @ayujaded​ @couldbeyourlast​ @ladyarmanto​ @anpanman-sonyeondan​ @apollukee​ @blueevelvt​ @taesluttt​ @scalubera​ @laurynne5​ @dreamsindreamss​ @thequeen-kat​ @awsome-small-k​ @wrecklesssly​ @kweenhu​ @jalexad​ @staerify​ @bangforever​ @dyriddle​ @aianloveseven​ @waves-and-woods​ @hoefortaeshands​ @veronawrites​ @nightapple4jk​ @wataemelonz​ @aomi-nabi​ @katbonv​ @hantaev​ @jinpuddin​ @usamizuki​ @wooya1224​ @bambuzlee​ @jenotation​ @tangledsparkles​ @pcyxljh​ @forbts-only​ @dumplingley​ @ccmemoirs​ @kleritata​ @thelilbutifulthings​ @maygem2780​ @lachimolala95​ @betysotelo18​ @prettycoolting​ @opaljm​ @jeonlovers​ @honeyboocal​ @preciouschimine​ 

[mercur1e]

Helllooooo

Soo I just saw you're headcannons are literally 💞💞

It's lowkey the only thing keeping me safe and alive ✋😌......soooooo can I request Gom + kuroko and kagami (if it's to much you can just doo Aomine, Kise and Midorima and akashi)where they accidentally hurt their s/o feelings pleaaseeeeee..... I need some angst but please end it in fluff (cuz i lowkey cannot handle it)

Please take care of yourself, your health always comes first, I love youuuu ❤❤❤

Ofc love! I hope you're doing well and I love you too :) <333

Akashi

He disregarded your hard work :(

You're trying to start your own small business and you're having a little trouble, which is not unusual that happens sometimes!

You were having trouble hiring employees and you were talking to him about it, and he was in a bad mood prior to you approaching him

"You're not going anywhere with this. It would just be better to give up on it. You're not going to make it that far even if you do succeed. And can you leave? I'm busy and all you're doing is acting as a distraction."

You just froze, you couldn't believe what he had just said

Not only did he know how much work you were putting in, he also knew how excited you were for the future of your shop too

You didn't even say anything, you just froze with shock, hurt, and surprise and stomped out of his office

You left the house, you needed some time to cool off and cry

It took Akashi a second to realize what he had said and how hurtful his words were, so he started looking all over for you in the house. He goes into the garage to see your car is gone and he assumes the worst.

You don't pick up the phone when he calls you or answer his texts, opting to turn it off after the fifth call.

You stay by your best friend for the night and they comforted you and told you he probably didn't mean it, and that you can stay as long as you need

After you leave from by your friends place you go to your favorite cafe for some breakfast

And guess who's there, Akashi.

You turn around and walk out because you were honestly not ready to deal with him just yet and it was too early in the morning for all that

He catches you on the way out and apologizes :)

"Love, I apologize for what I said yesterday. It was inconsiderate, hurtful, and wrong. You've been working so hard on your business and you're doing your best to make it happen. I was in a bad mood yesterday and I dont know what came over me. Will you forgive me?"

Looking you in the eye as he spoke every word, holding your hands and rubbing them, you know he was truly sorry and wants to fix what he did.

"I forgive you Sei, but what you said was really hurtful. You know how much this means to me and how much work I've been putting in. But I do forgive you."

He takes you out to eat at your favorite restaurant and watch a movie afterwards back at home, kisses you tons and holds you in his arms when you fall asleep.

He also puts in a good word with his work associates about your business and you gain more employees and popularity! But unless you want to do it completely on your own he's there supporting you every step of the way and giving you advice :)

Midorima

He acts like your affection is kryptonite, even though you're not a clingy or overly-affectionate person

You guys had been together for about 3-4 months

He always brushes you off even at the most simplest acts of affections, you're starting to really question if he even wants to be together.

Well this particular time he embarrassed you in front of the team :/

There was a break in between practice and you went to give him his water bottle and give him a hug

"Hey Shin he's your water bottle, don't work yourself too hard okay?"

After that you went in for a quick hug but he held a hand against your chest and glared at you

"Why are you always so clingy? You're always on me and its annoying. Can you just leave me alone or leave?"

He said that right in the middle of the court, everyone's eyes were on you and you felt embarrassed.

"...alright."

That's all you after said you shoved the water bottle into his hand and walked out of the gym.

Takao was the one to call him out on his behavior and tell him that he was being rude and that he should apologize

Midorima took that advice and after practice, he went to find you and apologize, except you weren't anywhere he checked or thought you would be

You avoided him for 3 days straight until he arrived at your house unannounced

Your lucky item in his hand, he gives you a well deserved apology

"Y/N I- I'm sorry that I was being rude to you. There was no reason for me to act like that and I haven't been appreciating you like I should. That was rude of me and I hope you except my apology. Also- this is your uh lucky item."

He hands you a plushie :)

He gives you hugs and reassures you that he appreciates your affections despite him not being used to it!

He also got an extra lap at practice from Miyaji lol but he decided not to tell you that part

Kise

Is very busy and it's sometimes hard to make time for you :(

And you also couldn't show him affection in public or be around him because his fangirls would throw a hissy fit

He hasn't been answering his phone and he can't really get that close to you at school so you've been feeling left behind

When you finally managed to catch him, you said you wanted to go out and just catch up because you two haven't spent much time together and he agreed

However Kise forgot about the plans and you were waiting at the restaurant, alone.

You went home that night upset, tired, and wondering if you even want to be in a relationship anymore

You stopped texting him and talking to talk to him at school, not that you even had that much time to talk to him and school anyway

Kise had realised a whole day later that he had forgotten about the plans you two had made together

He took off from work the whole week, even though his manager was mad about it and went off to find you

He found you at a park after school and approached you with flowers in his hand

"Y/N baby I'm so sorry I forgot about our date. I can't imagine how you must've felt and to make up for it I called the whole week off! I'm really, really sorry that I havent had time for you. Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah, I forgive you Kise I'm just really hurt that you stood me up. You knew we hadn't spent alot of time together and I was really hoping to catch up with you that night. But I'm just happy you're here."

He takes you to a concert! Your favorite artist was in town and he bought tickets for the two of you!

The whole week was filled with fun, love, and lots of conversations :)

He promises to make more time for you and be there for you whenever he can!

He also posts you on his socials and shows you affection at school, showing his fangirls that he's not for them, but for you and they can go away of they don't like that

Aomine

You feel like he doesn't put any effort into the relationship

It's always you doing everything, it just gets tiring

He doesn't really make an effort to do anything, like plan dates, hang out, or just spend time together

He also uses basketball as an excuse to not hang out with you when you already know he's not at practice

Like if you want alone time man just say that

So you had planned a date for you two, nothing big just going to the movie theaters yk

He cancelled last minute, saying Imayoshi was forcing him to come to practice

It was a sunday, they don't have practice in sunday

You talked to Momoi as she is a close friend of yours too, about how you feel like you're the only one making an effort and that you feel like he doesn't want to spend time with you

She tells you to confront him about it, so you do

The next time Daiki comes to your house you ask him about it

"It just feels like I'm the only one putting work into the relationship and I feel like you're avoiding me. You make up excuses to not be with me and bail on me last minute...do you even want to be with me? And if you do want alone time just be upfront about it, don't give me terrible excuses or flake out on me."

Aomine honestly didn't know you felt that way

Now that he looks back at it, it has been mainly you doing most of the stuff in the relationship, and he can see why you feel like it's only you trying

"You're right, it has been mainly you doing stuff for both of us. I'm gonna start putting in more effort because it's time I do. I'm sorry that I've been making shitty excuses to not hang out with you, and cancelling all of a sudden. I'll be honest when I don't feel like going out and I'll spend more time with you."

He makes it up to you by taking you to a festival and going to see a movie with you

True to his word, he starts putting more effort into y'alls relationship and you two take turns planning dates

And if he doesn't feel like going out you guys have at home dates instead :)

I know this took a little longer than usual, I'm sorry for the little setback. Hopefully you like them! Thank you for requesting and feedback is appreciated! Love you <333

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 4

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: honestly probably not the best ive written... sorry

--

It’s been almost a week since you told Bucky you needed space. You have barely come out of your room, because you didn’t want to see him, and especially her. You wonder if this is really the end of your relationship. You are grateful that he has given you space, and according to Nat, he hasn’t gone near Dot. Dot has been spending a lot of time down in the lab with Tony. Wanting to learn about technology. Good luck to her.

Over the last few days you have been waking up to soft knocking on your door. You go to open the door and find a single red rose with no note. You figure it is Bucky, and while it makes your heart flutter, you force yourself to leave in on your dresser. As you walk down to the kitchen to eat breakfast you see Nat sitting at the counter.

“Morning, Nat,” you say quietly.

She smiles softly at you, “Morning. How are you feeling?” she asks.

You shrug as you continue making your coffee and grab your fixings for cereal. When you turn around you see Bucky sleepily walk into the kitchen. You look at the bags under his eyes and he stops short and stares at you. You feel your heart break when you know that he doesn’t sleep well without you. 

“Morning, Doll,” he says, completely ignoring Nat’s existence.

“Good morning Bucky,” you say. You decide to take your breakfast to go and shuffle around him as he walks further into the room. You stop and turn to look at him again, “Thank you for the roses. They are beautiful, “ you say before leaving.

Bucky sighs heavily when you leave and looks at Nat. “God I hope this works. I can’t live like this much longer, Nat. I miss her so goddamn much,” he says as he puts his face in his hands. 

“Barnes man up. This will work. She commented on the roses. She is hurt and doesn’t trust you, which you can’t blame her for. But the fact that she thanked you, tells me that she appreciates you putting in the effort. It’s time to do this. Let her know that you are serious about making her a priority. Now I bought everything. You go get ready and I will get her there, okay?” She says.

Bucky nods and heads out of the kitchen to get ready. He hopes that this will work. He is hoping that if anything it will show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to be with you. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous that you will reject him also. But Nat seems to think this will work, so we will see.

--

You are sitting on your bed, watching Netflix when there is a knock on your door. You call for them to enter and see Nat walk through the door. She walks over and sits on your bed.

“Hey honey, how are you holding up?” she asks as she sits.

You shrug, hugging yourself. “I-I miss him. But I’m still mad at him. But I want to talk to him. But I’m scared that it will end,” you say.

Nat pulls you into a hug, “Honey, I promise he has been moping in his room all week. I don’t think he has gone near her once. Steve has been watching over her, and she has been spending a lot of time in the lab, which is weird, but whatever. He told her he was done and he meant it. Talk to him,” she says.

You can’t help the tears, “Has be been... okay?” you ask.

“He misses you. He wants to make it up to you. Are you ready to hear him out, and have a conversation with him?” Nat asked.

You sigh and think about whether or not you are ready. You look at her and node slowly, causing her to smile. “Good. I was hoping that would be your answer. Now get up and put...” she ran to the bedroom door and grabs a box from the hallway she left there, bringing it back to the bed. “This on. I’ll meet you in the garage in 1 hour,” she says before leaving. You open the box and gasp.

--

When Nat pulls up to the edge of Central Park, you look at her in question. She nods telling you to go ahead. You get out of the car and start walking down the path. As you get closer to the clearing, you hear light music. You continue walking and finally enter the clearing where you recognize you had your first date with Bucky. You look around and see roses everywhere and candles, along with music.

Finally your eyes meet Bucky, who is standing in the middle of open space. He is wearing a navy blue suit, that matches your navy blue dress that Nat gave you. He has shaved his beard to some light scruff, that makes you swoon. His hair is cut short, and looks so soft. You see he is nervous as he waits for you to make a move.

“Hi Bucky,” you say. 

He sighs and gives you a small smile, “Hi baby. I’m glad you came,” he says as he steps up to you with another rose in his hand.

He hands it to you, which causes you to smile, “Well Nat didn’t exactly give me much of a choice,” you say.

He laughs, “Yea, she has been helping me set up all of this. I’m so glad you are here. I-I wanted to... I... Baby, I can’t even find the words to apologize for being such an ass. But I’m done. I told Dot she had to deal with things herself. I told her that you were the one I want. And, I haven’t seen her since. I know that it will take a lot more than a date and begging to get you to forgive me, but I hope that we can recreate our first date because I fell in love with you that night. Not that I am expecting anything, but I owed you, and--”

You cut Bucky off with you lips slotting on his. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you impossibly close. “Bucky, I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to fix this. I’ve missed you. I love you so much, and the fact that you are doing all of this, means so much to me. This isn’t going to fix everything, but I’m ready to talk,” you say.

Bucky leads you to the table and you both sit and talk about the situation. You talk about your fears and how you felt when Dot arrived. You expressed how his actions affected you, and Bucky took everything in stride. When you finally finished going through everything, Bucky then told you how the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. He felt that he owed it Dot, because he knows how scary it is to wake up in a different time. And while he used to have love for Dot, the moment he met you and started to date you, Dot no longer held his heart. Only you. 

He told you that he will never put anything ahead of you or your relationship again. After you both agreed you will move back into your room, but Bucky still has a lot of things to make up for. You then danced the night away under the stars. You both eventually make your way back to your shared apartment. Bucky surprised you with new lingerie, the same pair he ruined that night. You got a redo of that date night, and this time, Bucky made sure you had several more orgasms, before finishing himself. No interruptions, no ex’s, just the two of you reclaiming your love on each other.

--

Dot had been trying to figure out what she could do to split you and Bucky up for good. She knew you would be pathetic and fall for his charms again, just like all the girls from back in the day. She had to step up her game in this century though, and who better to learn from then one of the smartest men who happen to live in the compound also.

She started to spend time with Tony to learn the ins and outs of technology in the 21st century. He also taught Dot how utilize FRIDAY. showed her all the fun and cool thing that no one cared to know. Dot made sure she seemed completely excited and interested, which helped Tony’s ego and gave her more information. Eventually Dot figured out something that she could use. 

She smiled when she saw both you and Bucky going into shared apartment after your date. While she hated the idea of you and Bucky together, she knew that she could use her new knowledge against you. And now was the perfect time to put that in motion.

--

Chapter 3 / Chapter 5

Not 100% how I feel about this chapter. I felt like it was getting too long so I cut it, but maybe I shouldn’t have. So I’m sorry if it’s not as good. But DRAMA ALERT!! What is Dot going to do? Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld @cherries-and-berries @ilovemarvelanne1 @lilli2411 @minty-fiction @peakywitch @blue-mostacho @r0bbieshapiro @uncreativezx @sarahjoestewy-blog

[xiaoslxt]

⩥ xiaoslxt -> I'll be there

Characters: Hu Tao

Genre: fluff, angst, hurt comfort

Warnings: mentions of not eating properly = mentions of food, a full-on breakdown, mentions of bullying/being picked on, low self-esteem

Format: one-shot

Word count: 0.8k

Taglist: @adalynn-is-lost @kreideprinzessin (ty both for reading it and giving feedback <3)

A/N: Something on the more heavy side of things 🤕 feedback is very appreciated ! Also let me know if there are any tags I should add !

When people hear the name Hu Tao, the first thing they think of is trouble. She's known for being a prankster and having a very particular personality that's hard to get along with.

But these people don't make an effort to see past the chirpy facade the young woman puts up. You've known her ever since you were in your early teens, saw her real self, were there during her darkest times and brightest days, and yet she still felt so far away from you on some days.

Whenever the two of you roam the streets of Liyue Harbor, talking and laughing among yourselves with your hands intertwined, all the passersby do is give you annoyed side eyes, whispering to themselves. They don't understand how you get along with the Funeral Parlor Director, but they don't know her like you do. They don't know *you* like she knows you. Your relationship is so much more than meets the eye, something they just wouldn't understand.

"What's gotten your thoughts occupied, darling?" Tao's voice reaches your ears, pulling you out of your endlessly spiraling thoughts and making you meet her eyes. "You've been spaced out for a while there."

You reach out and gently grasp her hand in yours, thumbs stroking gently across the many rings that adorned her fingers. "Just… the usual, you know?"

She tilts her head like a confused puppy, "Are you debating the way people treat me again? We've only taken a nice evening stroll, I didn't think there would be rowdy teenagers out this late.. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. They don't know a thing. We got each other, that's what matters, right?" You firmly state and grab her other hand as well, "no matter what people will say about you, me or us both, I will always have your back, my love."

The moonlight casts a silvery light into the confines of your girlfriend's bedroom, illuminating her soft features in the process. You catch a glimpse of sadness in her eyes, but it's gone as fast as you realized it was there; merely a fraction of a second, before her cheery smile graced her lips once again.

"You truly are everything and more to me." she softly says and tightens her grip on your hands, "I'm so thankful for you-"

Her voice slightly cracks at the end, confirming your suspicions of something bothering her; deep inside. You instinctively move your hands to gently cup her face and watch as tears roll down her face, her smile wavering and turning into a frown. Trying to wipe them away with your thumbs soon turns impossible when her emotions overwhelm her and she starts sobbing. Uncontrollably and so wrecked from buried emotions bubbling up at once, she doesn't know what to do, where to go.

"Tao… it's okay baby, I'm right here." You mumble quietly and gather her into your arms, hugging her firmly but comfortably against your chest. "Let it out, I got you."

And she does. She tries so hard not to be too noisy; burying her face in the crook of your neck and helplessly latching onto your shirt. Anything to ground herself, or she might fall into an endless Abyss of buried emotions, past thoughts and hurtful words being recalled at once.

It hurts you to see your lover break like this, not being able to do anything but hold her and be her supporting pillar, her guiding light during a dark, foggy night. Her mind is shrouded in thick clouds of her trauma, she tried her best to not be shaken and be the best version of herself…. But how is she supposed to do that, if there isn't a single day during which dozens upon dozens of people show their distaste towards her? It always surprised you to see Tao being the way she is; always smiling and positive despite the way almost everyone treats her.

You wonder how she managed to keep her happy and carefree facade up so well over all those years. Years of being picked on, bullied and despised by whoever was nearby. It truly breaks your heart when you recall the one time she had a really depressive episode and refused to eat for a solid 3 days. It wasn't until you found her, unconscious and way too thin, in her room and desperately took matters into your own hands. That's when you realized just how much she really means to you, and Tao realized the same towards you.

Nobody knows the two of your backstory, and yet they still fail to realize that *they* really were the source of your girlfriend's deep down sadness.

Hu Tao calms herself after really crying everything out, too exhausted to move or even open her eyes, just clinging onto you and enjoying the comfort you provide her.

"Hey baby, are you asleep yet?" You carefully ask and put your hand on top of her head.

"Not yet.." She replies, exhaustion evident in her voice. "But.. Thank you for being with me… I love you so much.."

You feel a few tears form in your own eyes and gently run your fingers through her soft hair. "I will always stay with you, you're my everything, my entire world. I love you so much, Tao."

[buckybarnesdiaries]

casablanca

first part — second part

© credits to the author, i found it on pinterest. if you are the author, please send me a message to add your @.

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

request by anon: Hi hi hello, I’ve a request night be a tad much but up to you to judge, reader is a fellow avenger and gets severely hurt and when Bucky finds her after a battle he’s scared she might not make it and there’s a lot of “please don’t leave me/I can’t lose you” and such, pretty please maybe? 👉👈

word count: 904 words.

warnings/tags: a little angst.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

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Four days had passed. Ninety-six anguish hours since Tony and Bruce removed the bullets and took you to a private hospital run by people like them. Geeks using high technology to rebuild the tissue damaged in your lung and your shoulder. You were weak. Your constants and your pulse were slower than normal. And they didn't know if you could get through this. But that wasn't the only thing that was destroying the Avengers.

Bucky didn't leave your side. He didn't sleep, nor eat. Surviving just by drinking water. He used to talk to you all the time, remembering all the moments you had shared together, remembering funny anecdotes from his past like that time he almost set on fire the Stark Expo. He also used to cry. He found himself falling into pieces on more occasions than he could count. When night came, Bucky lied on the bed by your side, wrapping you with his arms and trying to keep you warm. It turned into an obsession for him since Bruce told him the temperature your body should have.

He guarded your rest, kissing your temple or your forehead from time to time. He asked the doctors to explain to him what all the devices around you were for. He wanted to understand, to help in any way. Bucky was attentive to the clock, knowing the schedule of your medicines better than his own name —ragging if they were supplied one second late of the terms. He threatened anyone who dared to neglect you. And nobody could blame him. You were his soul mate, the person with who wanted to spend his life. James couldn't live without your love for not a single day.

“Brought you clean clothes”.

The soldier didn't notice Steve's presence till he spoke, offering him a backpack with his stuff.

“Nothing?”

Bucky put down from the edge of the bed, grabbing the bag while shaking his head. He looked deadly tired, taking all the strength from the serum running through his veins to stay awake and keep an eye on you. Walking in the bathroom, he took a quick shower to refresh his senses. Only leaving you alone if Steve was there. He didn't trust anyone else to take care of you without his presence.

The Captain took Bucky's place then, sitting on the bed and holding your left hand free of cables and tubes, to place a kiss on the back of it. He understood to perfection why his best friend fell in love with you. Steve was a man of small details and he noticed every one of them you used to have with Bucky. The kind of ones that showed how much you loved, respected, and supported him.

“Don't tell him I hate Casablanca”.

That funny confession left your sore throat in a hushed tone, not being able to speak louder yet. His eyes widened as he felt you squeezing his skin under your fingers, and he couldn't help but laugh in a soft cry. That sound captivated James' attention, running out from the bathroom barely wearing a pair of sweatpants.

“(Y/N)?” He whispered, stopping two feet away from your position.

Steve didn't doubt standing up to let his friend take that place. And he embraced you. An arm around your waist and the other around your neck. Carefully, but tightly. The tears fell from his dull eyes at the instant you made a big effort to place yours around his back. You had never been so scared of dying, only because of leaving him alone, lost, desolated. It wasn't for you, nor your family, nor anyone else. Only for him.

The Captain left the room, waiting a couple of minutes before giving the call to the doctors. You needed that moment. You needed to be that close before being set apart to continue checking your health and if the nanotechnology worked as it should. Bucky sunk his face into the gap between your neck and your shoulder, not being able to stop sobbing uncontrollably. Not believing you were awake. Tony and Bruce said it was the sign for you to stay alive, to beat the wounds.

“It was… It was my fault…” He wept because of the guilt he had been carrying since he found you moribund.

“No… It wasn't, Buck…”

“I… I got distracted… I lost you”.

“You told me to stay close and I didn't”. You replied going against his thoughts, pressing him a little more over your chest to be comforted by his weight. “I won't do it again. I promise”.

Bucky raised his face enough inches to peck your lips once and once, not having the intention of stopping unless you asked him for. But you wouldn't. You had been four days suffering more for him than for yourself —hearing him talking to you to feel accompanied in your darkness, being embraced fondly all night long, demonstrating to you that love wasn't enough to express his sentiments for you and how real they were.

“How much have you slept?” You reprimand him with a low tone, noticing the black bags under his eyes.

“Don't… Don't do that now, doll… Nobody could take care of you better than me”. He implored you, hiding his face back to your neck, having the luxury of shutting his eyes close for a brief second. “I had to do it… I had to do it”.

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[mindofharry]

In which bucky and you are hooking up and he doesn’t appreciate you until you’re gone.

angst!! so much angst!! swearing, bucky saying stuff he doesn’t mean and a whole lot of crying. feedback is welcome as always <3

roughly based around the time the falcon and the winter soldier meet up again :D enjoy, lovers!

losing you masterlist.

You met Bucky just after he moved into the apartment block. He looked pretty lost and you, being you, decided to lend a helping hand and help out a neighbour.

You did not expect him to end up in your bed the next morning.

It was unexpected and kind of childish, but he made your heart pound and your lips to as red as a cherry. Bucky barnes had you wrapped around his finger before he even knew your name, he just had that kind of charisma. You wanted to be around him all the time, be more than just the causal hook up. Not just someone he calls when he needs to let off steam. You want to be it for him. Bucky is unpredictable and stubborn, but you were sure you could fix him or at least help him onto a better path.

He just wouldn’t let you in.

You’d have sex, and then he’d kick you out. He wouldn’t even let you stay the night. Which at first you didn’t really care about as he would always greet you with a smile and walk you to the local bar. Bucky would have actual conversations with you, that was only for a week. The sex got more hot, more steamy and a lot more fucking rough. He didn’t greet you in the morning, not even a smile and he most definitely didn’t walk you to the bar anymore. He said it was a waste of his time.

You’re a confident person, you don’t usually let people like bucky barnes hurt you this much.

But he was so much more than a hook up to you, you loved him.

It was wednesday, so that means when bucky is done with his lunch he’d text and you’d meet him at his apartment. That’s what happens every wednesday and you never question it. Why would you? A strapping man like bucky wants you in some way. You’re not going to let it go because you have feelings for him.

It might be a little selfish, but you loved him too much.

You made yourself something to eat and watched some downtown abbey to calm yourself down. Bucky liked it when you were chill and not your usual bubbly self. You’ve changed yourself completely for this man. You hope it’s all worth it in the end.

After eating and relaxing for a bit, you decide to shower and get ready for buckys. You want to look nice, show him what he’s missing.

You wash your body with multiple shower gels, and decide to shave your legs - which really, you didn’t want to it’s a lot of effort and you’re just not in the mood today. But if bucky likes it, you’ll do it.

He mentioned once while you were in bed that he loved how smooth your legs are. So you shaved them before every hook up.

“You’re amazing” You reminded yourself, putting on your mascara. The make up will only come off, but again you want to make a good and lasting impression on him. You never used to wear makeup, just a bit a blusher and the occasional gloss. But bucky likes it. It’s always about what bucky likes and dislikes. Your mother would be so disappointed in you.

You shake your head to get rid of those thoughts and walk into your room. This time you pick something you want to wear. Opening up your closet you pull out your flowery, summery, dress that got at a marker in spain. Your family flew there and spent the summer in a nice little villa. It was the only bit of a peace you felt. When you came home, it felt like everything you left behind came crashing down.

Maybe that’s why you depend so much on bucky. You never wanted to be that person, but bucky makes it so hard. And you’re definitely not blaming him for you becoming so attached, you’re definitely the one to blame. But bucky is just, he’s just this great guy.

Or at least he was.

You get it, he lost a lot of people in the blip and after the blip. You lost people too. But it obviously affected him more, so you’re cutting him some slack.

Even if he doesn’t really deserve it.

After getting dressed and making yourself look some what presentable you text bucky to let him know you’re on the way to his apartment - it was only a 30 second walk, but you know he liked his privacy, so you warn him each time.

There was no response. As per usual, you thought rolling your eyes. You strolled down to his apartment taking your time, the weather looked nice enough. Maybe you’ll go for a walk after this, you know you won’t be staying long in buckys home.

You knock on the door, looking down at your phone. Still no messages. Now this, was surprising. Even if he didn’t text he’d always let you know in some way if he couldn’t make it. Bucky may be a dick, but he’d never leave you waiting.

You wait outside for a minute and contemplate leaving, but your hear footsteps walking towards you. You look over and see the man you love.

Bucky Barnes.

And he did not look happy. Angry, frustrated and confused maybe, but not happy. Usually he’s in a good mood after meeting up with his little friend for lunch. Did something happen? You don’t want to pressure him, but you need him to know you’re always there for him.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when bucky stepped infront of you, his eyebrows furrowed and scowl on his face.

“What are you doing here?” He asked fishing out his keys. You start to get annoyed, this man is really testing you. But you push that feeling down and put a smile on your face, placing a hand on his shoulder. Bucky shrugged it off, the smile fell off your face. Bucky noticed, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m busy today” He said putting the key into the door, trying to open it. He obviously put the wrong one in, frustrating him even more.

“We always meet up on wednesdays, and i did text you. But you never replied so i just assumed” You said, messing with the hem of your dress.

You wish he’d compliment you.

“Well you assumed wrong and i need you to leave. Got a date tonight” He said finally opening up his door. Your heart broke, it actually felt like it shattered into a million different piece. A date? With another person? Fuck, you didn’t think this far ahead. You thought that one day he would just realise. That it’s been you, you’re the one he wants. But obviously you were wrong.

You were wrong about a lot of fucking things.

But you put a brave face on and walked into his apartment, closing the door behind you. Again, you didn’t want to intrude but you needed to know how serious this date is. You need to know if this is the end of you and bucky.

Bucky sighed as he saw you standing in his hallway, he looked exasperated. Like you were a chore he forgot about or had been putting off. He looked at you like you were exhausting. Maybe you are. You should’ve never agreed to this hook up, friends with benefits shit. It always ends badly.

“Y/N, i said you need to leave” Bucky said placing a hand over his eyes. You nodded and instead of leaving you sat beside him. Bucky looked over at you and you’ve never seen him angrier.

“Are you deaf?” he asked and you flinched at his tone. “I have a date, and i need you to get the fuck out of my house” Bucky said and you sighed standing up.

“You’re an asshole” You mumbled and bucky stood up as well.

“You don’t say that when i’m balls deep in you” He replied, placing a hand on your cheek. He wasn’t rough when he grabbed you, but it did scare you a bit.

“This was just sex Y/N. Nothing more. You’re not my type, you’re too exhausting and tiring for me. I’m not interested in that sort of shit. Get the hell out of my home” Bucky said sternly letting go of your face. You searched his eyes for any sign of remorse or guilt, but nothing. He looked proud of himself really.

You sighed to yourself and wiped under your eyes. This is it. Fuck, ok don’t cry Y/N.

“I hope you enjoy your date” You said walking past him.

“Oh, I will” he smirked, watching as you left his apartment. You held back a sob as you ran to your apartment, ignoring on the stares and pitiful looks. You needed to leave the place.

You called your mom and told her the whole story and surprisingly she wasn’t disappointed.

“I could never be disappointed in you, baby. look at you, you’re amazing” Your mom said making you giggle. “That man doesn’t know what he just lost. a great friend is one of them. Now, men aren’t something you should be crying over. Go get yourself freshened up and then relax. You deserve it, honey” She said and you nodded to yourself, sitting up on your bed.

The tears were almost instant. Your mother hated to hear you cry. She lived so far away, and you just needed her hugging and cooking to make all of this pain go away. Heartbreaks are normal, their natural and everyone goes through it. It just hurts even more when the person you love the most doesn’t love you back.

“I love him” You admitted and your mom sighed. You could tell that she hated this too. “I met him when he was kind to me, he would walk me to the bar sometimes work too” You said and tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. “He was sweet. He would cuddle with me and not throw me out of his home. And he would listen, he would listen to anything i had to say” You sobbed.

“What did i do wrong? What did i do to make him hate me, mom?”

Your mother let out a pained sound. She just wanted to hug you and tell you everything would be ok.

“You did absolutely nothing wrong. This is all on him, honey. He didn’t appreciate what he had. He took advantage of your kindness and love towards him. You did nothing wrong. Never blame yourself for something like this.” She said quickly and groaned.

“I’ve gotta go” You said, and before your mom could get a word in you hung up and threw your phone against the wall.

Another thing to get fixed.

You did actually have work; but you decided you would get anything productive done. So giving yourself the day off would be good. Sit around, pig out and do not think of bucky barnes.

That lasted all of 5 minutes.

You’re now watching the notebook and didn’t get through 5 minutes of it without thinking of bucky. It’s not like you guys did actual couple things. Why are you so upset? Because you loved him, you idiot.

And now you have to get over him. If he was going on dates, you would too. If he was sleeping with other people, you would too. It’s time bucky barnes got a taste of his own medicine.

A week went by where you through yourself back into work and focused on catching up with old friends. During the day you didn’t think once about bucky, but when you got home that’s when the sob fests start. You’re pretty sure your neighbours can hear you, you feel a little bad.

Wednesday came and you didn’t once check your phone - one because it was smashed and you could barley see the screen, and two because you’re not going to be that girl anymore. You’re come to terms with the fact that bucky wasn’t for you, and although your heart is still very, very broken.

You’re doing better. You’re getting there.

On the other side of the apartment block, bucky barnes was not getting there or doing ok. You hadn’t texted him in a over a week, that’s a new record for you. Usually you send him memes or little reminders randomly. But there’s nothing, he’s been staring at his phone screen for far too long waiting for you to text.

He sighed and began typing.

‘ Hey, it’s bucky. Wondering if we’re still on for tonight? X ‘

He sent it and then put his phone down, turning on his tv. The date he went on was a bust. The girl wasn’t you, he figured that out pretty quickly. It’s not the girl wasn’t good looking or anything and she was nice enough, he just couldn’t stop comparing her to you. Y/N wouldn’t get the drink or Y/N wouldn’t sit that far away, or Y/N wouldn’t totally flipped that jackass off. He left abruptly in the middle of the date because he couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t handle not being with you, and that, to him was a problem. Bucky hadn’t been this dependent on a person since steve.

And steve left.

Bucky was just protecting himself, but while he was doing that - he hurt you. Immensely. He put you through so much pain in after this relationship. It was barley even a relationship, but it hurt just as much.

10 minutes went by, and there was still no response. You didn’t even read the message. Now he knows how you feel. Instead of waiting a little longer, bucky decided to just go to your apartment instead. He strolled down the hall and knocked on your door. Your neighbour came out of his home. Bucky nodded his way, the man only tutted at him.

“Poor girl” The man mumbled walking away leaving bucky confused. He shook it off and knocked again, this time you finally answered. You looked beautiful. You were wearing a tight, red dress showing all of your curves off you hair was straightened and you weren’t wearing any make up - you still looked behind beautiful.

“Bucky....” you said with furrowed brows.

“I texted but there was no reply” He said walking into your apartment and taking off his jacket. He grinned and put his hands on your hips. You were even more confused, did he just forget about last week? What he said to you?

“Did you get dressed up all for me?” He asked you cleared your throat moving back so his hands would fall off you, bucky looked at you with a scowl.

“What’s up?” he asked moving his hands to your cheeks, you remembered how he grabbed you the last time and you flinched. Bucky froze for a second and dropped his arms to his side. Something was obviously wrong.

“I’m going on a date, bucky” You said and buckys world stopped for a second. A date? With who? This can not be happening.

“Whatever we have going on, it’s done. So i don’t know why you’re here” You said walking into your room to finish getting ready, you needed to find your black heels.

You met this guy at work, and you really hit it off. So when he asked for a date, you didn’t hesitate. You were putting you first, like you should’ve been doing all along.

“Done?” Bucky asked following you, you nodded and shrugged your shoulders. “You made it pretty clear last week” You said and bucky sighed rolling his eyes. “So this is about the date?” He said and you didn’t reply.

“It’s about what you said to to me, bucky. You’re selfish and mean. And i deserve better”

Bucky sat down on the end of your bed beside you. He knew what he was doing, you were an easy lay. Bucky hates himself for breaking your heart, god knows he broke his own letting you go and saying those awful words to you. You do deserve better.

“So with that being said, i think it’s time for you to leave”

And this time, it was you kicking bucky out of your bed.