#where am i going with this. im just rambling.

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

[orcelito]

Don't understand ppl who can be in a zine. Like more power to u guys but I can't imagine my brain Ever accepting me trying to force it to write a specific thing. It rarely wants to write even what it wants to write. I have to trick it with treats and praise. Trying to do a guided writing??? No fuckin way lmfao

[dizzybizz]

"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"

[chickenoptyrx]

....I just wanted to draw gators :T at this point these 2 are more 'a representation of my last 2 brain cells' then they are actual characters 😅

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Thought you may be interested in this-

hmmm you know it could be a blend of "Remember" and "rem" as in "REM sleep", i would put stock in That more than it being just a straight play on remember

WHICH. HM. okay bc as soon as i saw it i thought "oh! like the REM stage of sleep!" but REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement - the stage characterized by high brain activity (vivid dreaming).

so either it being specifically REMderem has meaning, or it's just the best play on words (maybe in relation to "remember" as you've pointed out!)

[shyhandart]

🌸🍓 leucistic fawn girl 🍓🌸

Sb: $35

Ab: $150

Comment or dm to offer ty for your interest mwah 🫰

[thekidsarentalright]

will never not make me insane how mania broke the mold for fob albums in so many ways but most prominently perhaps is how it broke the mold color wise, and the symbolism of that. it took the red/blue alternating color palette and combined it to make purple, it took everything fob was and in doing so went in a full different direction- something that was so clearly fob and so clearly new all at once, at least to those that were truly listening. and then, so much (for) stardust is just black and white. devoid of all true color- the light/dark dichotomy of the album is obvious from that alone. its take what every fob album did before color-wise but stripping it down- wholly new again, nowhere near the red/blue from before, but purely fob, not dressed up, its all out there in your face, black and white. the symbolism of colors here feels so so intentional and important and is forever so insanely clever of them

[intotheelliwoods]

Gonna ask this to a few people that inspire me, but how do you take inspiration from things without feeling like whatever you make is just bad in comparison? Or like a downgraded version of the thing(s) that inspired you?

(If this is too negative feel free to delete/ignore, I'm sorry)

Oh gosh this is such an interesting question since, I dont think I really have feelings of thinking my version is bad? Or that I am just a copy?

I am honestly just grateful my work became as popular as it is in the first place haha- low expectations going in to begin with. That and, I am very aware my art style isnt as defined and polished as other peoples styles, but I have come to terms with this! And hey the improvement in my own artwork over the past year is a massive trip if you go back through some of my older stuff- I am improving, slowly.

I mean, 2AL started by complete accident, and was "inspired" from me wishing the Leos from OMO or MNMC would hug it out already- but if you were to compare 2AL to one of those, they are very different. Hell even comparing OMO and MNMC, same starting point, but still very different.

I think my only advice to other people trying to make an AU is to try and find some core theme/idea and work around that, rather than gather a bunch of little things from other sources you like into a big pile. Find some key message to start up a base with.

[jazzzzzzhands]

If I ever stop drawing him, assume I DIED

[iraprince]

brainstorming phone wallpapers/bgs as a potential patreon perk...

[luck-of-the-drawings]

THIS IS HUMANITIES 11TH HOUR I THINK KIAN WAS RIGHT. THERE WAS SO MUCH HE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER BUT HE DID IT FOR GREAT REASON. THEIR RELATIONSHIP MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL. EVEN THE ECHO OF SOMEONE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND THE ECHO OF YOU LOVES THEM TOO. they COPIED A HUMAN DOWN TO THEIR BASIC CIRCUTRY AS A SURVIVAL INSTINCT AND THE VERY WIRES STILL LOVE YOU. ITS THE ATMOSPHERE. ITS THE DISCORDANT AND SAD YET YEARNING CORDS IN THE AIR AS THE SKY REDDENS. ITS A WISH FOR SOMETHING MORE, PRESSING AGAINST INEVITABLE GLASS, CLEARLY NO HOPE OF CONTINUING OR BLOSSOMING. A PAINTING OF A MEMORY THEY WANT TO BE MAKING WITH NO CONCLUSION.

[lupucs]

Gosh I love your art!

But uh whats your favorite deltarune ships?

Thank you so much!! Oh gosh, you really caught me off guard with this one hah!

Well, uh I think it should be pretty obvious which ships I like by now...

It's clearly-

It-

It's obviously...

THOSE GUYS!

[musashi]

Hiiii I'm resending this ask just in case it got lost--do you have any thoughts on why Manfred only calls Miles by his last name (as least from what I can remember)? It's something that stuck out as odd to me when I was playing Turnabout Reminiscence for the first time considering that's basically his adoptive son but as Tumblr's #1 Manfred Enjoyer I'm curious if you have any additional insights. Loved your Manfred video essay btw and I am very much looking forward to the Franziska one too <3

couple schools of thought here

sad edgy take: purposefully othering him and reminding him (and everyone around him) he is not truly a von karma

uplifting take: miles is, in all likelihood, the last edgeworth and he does it to honour the family name, to draw attention to its resilience, or out of (performative) reverence for gregory

neutral take: manfred himself has some level of discomfort with the whole situation and views miles as both an opportunity and a burden. to address him informally doesn't feel quite right, but to invoke his last name feels like salt in the wound. however, that is a wound he must bear, and so he does.

i honestly lean toward the latter two, surprise surprise. they're in line with anime!Manfred which imo is the best written version of him. in the anime, manfred von karma admits to himself that he feels guilty for orphaning miles--NOT, crucially, for killing gregory, but for the fact that miles wound up collateral damage in DL-6. for a while, this version of manfred questions if the reason he adopted miles had something to do with that guilt.

anime!manfred also performatively talks about gregory with an air of great respect. this is 100% ingenuine, obviously, but it tells us that manfred is the type to pretend like gregory was someone he considered great and peerless.

personally i think calling miles "edgeworth" is something that manfred does without examining it himself. i do not think he made a conscious decision to do that. i think it's just what he feels comfortable with and he has not examined that comfort or lack thereof. i guess if i wanted to headcanon about it and examine that myself itd be like... "miles" feels wrong because it makes him feel too much like he's fathering the boy. and manfred would not delude himself, thinking that. edgeworth stings, though. reminds him of gregory in a completely different direction. both options feel wrong.

but, like i said, a lot of his opinions re: miles are "i got myself into this mess, and i will see it to its end." i will forever be thinking about this line:

so i think the subconscious process is like

i should call him edgeworth -> fuck that name tho i hate that dead bastard -> yeah and who's fault is it that you have to raise his son now? -> goddamnit my life is a nightmare -> "edgeworth come to dinner your sister is clawing at the table like a wild beast."

i think manfred von karma contains a nonzero amount of self-awareness, but it is a fickle thing. he's not sitting down with these thoughts. that's what i'm here for.

THANKS FOR ASKING ME ABOUT BLORBO. I LOVE YOU

[welcometoteyvat]

jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic

[quietwingsinthesky]

youtube stop recommending me that five hour long “fall of doctor who” video challenge. there is not a video i could be less interested in watching.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

https://www.tumblr.com/an-elegant-void/743516328073265152/here-are-the-instructions-from-the-help?source=share

Important info!

immediate indignation and rage aside, for some reason i dont have the option yet... it's probably due to the usuall "roll 'features' out to chunks of users at a time" but Still. nervous