#where people can actually talk about their volunteering or their protesting like it's an act of violence against a cruel world bc it IS!!

[kenobihater]

why do liberals talk about the simple act of voting like they're the last defenders of some besieged trenches in ww1...

[elusivecagedmockingbird]

Untitled

[jungkook x reader]

"You wanna know about art? When the class president starts touching my face on darkened street corners, and talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal."

Or THE popular fuckboy in your campus suddenly signs up as the figure model to one of your extracurricular activities and starts showing his interest in you.

A/N: I'm not sure where I went with this. Thus, untitled. I'm not even sure where this falls in the tags. But, enjoy!

-

Jungkook is at odds with himself.

Part of him wants to leave and forget about this stupid idea. He doesn't know what compelled him to listen to Jin. What exactly does the old man know about dating anyway? As far as he knows, he's never seen him with the same girl, so maybe he should have reached out to Namjoon instead. The other part is hyping himself up. In about a few minutes, you’ll be coming through those doors. It would be too late to back out now.

He chugs his bottled water as if he were thirsty. Jungkook thinks he'll pass out from anxiety. If not that, then from how warm it is inside this garage turned makeshift studio.

He feels the beads of sweat trickle down his back and pits.

This is not good.

The class is about to start and he'll be stripping down to his boxers and he's all sweaty. Thinking about that uneventful possibility makes him sweat more.

Fuck.

He notices someone walk towards the corner he has been hiding in. Judging by how good-looking his face is and the vintage clothing he wears, Jungkook surmises this must be the Senior organizing this art class. Taeyong? Taehyun?

Ah, Taehyung, he remembers just before the elder stands infront of him.

"You're Jungkook, right?"

Jungkook only nods as a response. His dry throat keeps him from speaking, afraid he squeaks out a reply and embarrasses himself more.

Thankfully, the other man is kind enough to not assume his silence as being standoffish.

"Nervous, huh?" Taehyung smirks, but Jungkook doesn't feel like he's being provoked. Rather, it actually calms him—at least the idea that it must be a common occurrence for models to exude this much anxiety that it's the first question people assume.

"That obvious?" He squeaks before clearing his throat. "Do all models get nervous on their first time?" Jungkook finally grounds his voice. Albeit, a bit meek for someone with a strong commanding aura and in a leather jacket.

Taehyung smiles and nods. "More than you expect. Which is understandable. Jin hyung told me you're doing this to learn more about art?"

No, he isn't, he internally protests. He doesn't know what Jin told Taehyung. The real reason he's here on a Sunday, as a supposed 'volunteer' model for a drawing class, is because of you.

The rest, he let Jin fill it out so Jungkook can secure the spot.

But of course, he wouldn't divulge those. So, Jungkook once again clears his throat before responding with a meek 'yes' as he shoots his empty water bottle in the can, making a clanging noise. He smiles sheepishly at the circled crowd whose attention he caught. He cringes at how much he's going out of his way to act cool. He's never this way, and yet, he wants to make sure you witness him with his best foot forward today.

Jungkook sways on the balls of his feet, taking in the space when he sees you—just as you were hooking your bag in your chair.

Goddamn, you're pretty. He's watching you laugh with another girl stationed near your table as you lay out your tools.

"Ready when you are." Taehyung breaks him out of his trance, and he replies with a sheepish nod—hoping he wasn't caught staring at you.

Jungkook starts by taking off his shoes, then his leather jacket. He unbuttons his pants with briefs in tow and the thought that you would be looking at his crotch makes him blush. He shamelessly imagines you and him as Jack and Rose in that sketching scene. But, before he can pull his jeans down, a booming baritone voice hollers at him.

Taehyung hurries towards him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Jungkook freezes at the sudden aggression. His mouth puckers open and close like a fish coming up for air, as he struggles to come up with a reply.

Taehyung tilts his head and assesses the young man with a pout. "Did Seokjin not tell you this isn't a nude class? We just need you to strip to your shirt and jeans," Taehyung clarifies in a whisper.

Embarrassment floods Jungkook and he sputters out an apology. He silently curses himself between nervous laughs and incoherent words of what seemed to be apologies. Shy doe eyes peeps at you and the confused and scandalized look painted on your face makes him want to get swallowed by the ground and never reappear in front of you ever again.

You must think he’s some kind of a creep or worse, a flasher. With a big exhale, he tries to set aside the embarrassment and go through this. It's already bad enough that his nerves and recent embarrassment made a sweat stain on his shirt.

Not long after, Jungkook stands in the middle of the circle of easels. It actually isn't bad, he thinks. Most of the time, he's staring at wood stands and the occasional heads peeking out of the canvas.

You're on his side, so he can only see you through his peripheral vision. Even so, he can already visualize the vein popping on your forehead when you concentrate—just one of the things he adores on your face.

That afternoon, Jungkook finds out he likes the thought of you paying this much attention and focus on him, instead of the other way around.

He holds his growing smile at bay.

-

The hour-long class went quicker than Jungkook wanted. He takes his time picking up his jacket and pretends to search for something in his bag as he waits for you to pack up. However, you never rise from your seat.

It takes Taehyung tapping your shoulder to bring you out of your world. "You still get tomorrow, Y/N," he hears Taehyung remind you before walking around the room, checking progress.

Jungkook didn't mean to eavesdrop more, but when you stood up and followed Taehyung, he couldn't help but tune in to your conversation.

"I need a little more time to fix a few edges. Can I just extend for a while? I'll clean up the supplies room." You bargain, voice kept low as if you're making an illegal trade with Taehyung.

Jungkook hears the older man sigh and call your name softly. "You still have tomorrow to work on it, and the next few days. Plus, I can't suddenly ask the model to stay just for you."

You whine petulantly like a child and Jungkook wonders if he can make you whine under different situations. Perhaps, under hi—

"He can go. I just need—"

The moment he makes out your reply, Jungkook was quick to cut you off and offer his time. "I can stay for a while."

Both you and Taehyung turn your heads to face the man who looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but he might as well have been. Your glowered confused eyes stare into him. "I-if you want," he stutters, so he tries to salvage his image with an obviously feigned nonchalant shrug.

Taehyung holds back his laugh but the sudden expulsion of air from his nose wasn't amiss, earning a side eye from you.

"No need," you answer with finality. "You get paid by the hour, right? I can't pay you and—"

"You don't have to pay me. I'm offering for free." Jungkook internally winces at how quick he was in offering himself. But if he were being honest, he would stay in this shoddy garage all night, through the blazing summer heat, as long as it's time spent with you.

Is it a crime that he's quick to take an opportunity when it has presented itself?

He thinks abso-fucking-lutely not.

Your eyebrows furrow, the 'I wasn't done talking' death glare you directed at Jungkook has him shift awkwardly on his foot and look everywhere else but at you.

"Still, I'd get in trouble for requesting more time, anyway. Can't have other students think Taehyung here has favorites." You press and it chips a bit of his confidence. It was obvious you didn't want him to stay. If he keeps insisting, you might think he's creepy.

Jungkook didn't want to seem too pushy anyway, and so, lets out a defeated "Oh.." and nods. His round eyes making it easy to see his dismay as it curves downwards a little at the sides.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Taehyung intervenes. The older man was amused as he watched Jungkook flounder around you, he also knows how oblivious and dismissive you are of guys like Jungkook to a fault. And so, he helps.

Ah, young love, Taehyung muses. "Just make sure to clean up and lock up after, like you promised." He tosses the keys to you, but you make no movement of catching it, letting the keys hit your chest and fall to the ground.

Now your glare is directed towards your sunbaenim. "On second thought, I'm wrapping it up for tonight then." You head towards your easel to pack up your stuff.

Taehyung sighs.

He tells Jungkook to wait a bit and pick up the keys as he follows after you, calling your name.

“Just take the guy's offer to help. He’s trying to learn more about art, too,” he whispers, arms crossing across his chest. "Isn't this the piece you're submitting with your application? I know that head of yours will run nonstop if you don't finish what you intended to do tonight." Taehyung nudges you with a smile and softly jabs his pointer finger to your temple, making you chuckle with a pout. You shoo his hand away from your face and he knows he got you to stay.

This Jungkook kid owes him, Taehyung thinks.

However, from where Jungkook stands, he sees you breaking out the cutest smile at Taehyung. His eyes even going bigger at what he believes is an affectionate touch to your face when Taehyung boops your forehead.

Is that even ethical or something, he wonders irately. Taehyung isn't much older but given that he's your sunbaenim, Jungkook thinks he shouldn't be doing that. Or even be standing close to you. He's currently throwing imaginary lasers at Taehyung's back when you both turn to him and he immediately unsquints his eyes.

"Jungkook, do you still want to stay?" Taehyung shouts at the young man.

Yes.

A hundred times yes. He's a lovesick loyal puppy and if you ask him to bark, he'll bark for you.

Jungkook nods enthusiastically and rushes closer to where you stand, eager to wedge himself between you and Taehyung.

-

"Jungkook," you sigh his name tiredly. "I really need you to stop moving your head. Is there something more interesting behind me?" The question was rhetorical, but you're starting to wonder what he keeps on staring at behind you that you turn your head, only to be greeted with a wall filled with hanged canvases.

You hear him mumble out a you with a smirk, but was quick to cover it up with a sorry. This guy think he was slick.

Jungkook turns his head to assume his supposed pose. His eyes still filled with mirth. And he lasts about four minutes before his head starts turning towards you. Again.

You throw your head forward with an exhausted groan. This was a mistake. You're growing more frustrated by the minute. Maybe you should call it a night.

Looking back up at your model, you tell him he can leave.

Jungkook breaks his stance then quickly poses as he quickly persuades you. "No, I'll stay still. Look," he promises and follows through quickly by holding the pose.

"No, I'm just really too tired for tonight. Thank you for staying a bit longer." You busy yourself by grabbing at your stuff, cleaning pencil shards here and there to keep the lurking unease.

You can't have a breakdown here again, you admonish yourself. And it's going to feel worse after if Jungkook's here to see it happen. You keep your head down while your hands wipe the charcoal dust on the table.

You hear footsteps nearing you, and you pray to whoever listens that he's not actually coming closer. He calls your name, his voice close and soft. You hum in response, head still hung low, refusing to face him.

Jungkook sees you rubbing an eraser at a blank surface and purses his lips. He finally got the chance to spend time with you and he was hoping to break the ice and get closer to you, but he does this—he upset you and wasted your time. You're not gonna want to spend more time with him after this.

"I-I'm sorry. I really wanted to help. I can stay again tomorrow to make up for tonight," he offers. Everything about him screams eagerness and he must really be interested in art to be willing to stay in the garage-slash-studio during this Summer heat.

You feel the tingling pressure in your throat and your lips quiver. You clear your throat and will away the tears before it breaks through your paper wall.

"No. You did great, Jungkook. I'm just not feeling well tonight." Your voice was too soft, but at least it didn't break.

Jungkook walks around you and turns to face you, hands making contact with your shoulder. "Are you sick? I have some medicine in my bag," he offers. He retracts his hand and unzips his bag to take out whatever medicine he had stashed inside.

It's his genuine concern that does it for you. You suddenly sob and cover your face with your hands.

"Oh, Y/N, are you okay? Does something hurt?" He didn't expect this. Jungkook was taken aback and his worried eyes looked for signs of where you could have been hurt.

Your sobs turned to full-on bawling and Jungkook was quick to take you into his arms. He lets you cry and occasionally whispers assurances between your weeping despite not knowing why you suddenly burst into tears.

In that moment, you stood illuminated by harsh yellowish fluorescent lights like a Gustav Klimt painting on display. The A/C humming noise drowned out by your hiccups and his whispers.

You were the first to pull away. He didn't mean to, but the moment you separated from Jungkook and lowered your hands from your face, he laughed.

Offended at his reaction, you push him away and quickly gather your bag hanging on the chair.

"Wait," he calls for you as he fumbles to pick up the bag he let fall to the floor.

He calls your name but you decidedly ignore him, feet shuffling quickly to leave the garage.

Fucking ass, you think. You're mortified. You already dread tomorrow as your imagination runs wild. What if he tells his friends about your ugly crying? You think you don't care what frat guys think, but you still definitely don't want to be the talk of the campus. You've only transferred here last year and after being briefed by your friend on who to avoid, you made sure not to have a run in with guys like Jungkook.

This is exactly why you were holding everything in earlier. Every stereotype of frat guys being huge assholes behind the charming facade were true.

A flash of high school memories ambush you and you just want to get to your dorm and hide under your blankets. You'll just have to miss tomorrow's class, you plan.

You violently shrug when you feel a hand grip your wrist.

"Hey, will you wait," Jungkook pleads. You turn to face him and see him reach something in his pockets.

Fuck. He's not going to take a photo, isn't he?

You were ready to lunge at him, anything to prevent him from taking a snap at your post-bawl blotched face, when all of sudden, a soft cloth touched your face.

Jungkook chuckles at your startled face.

"You have charcoal smudged all over your face," he points out. His bunny teeth peeks through his curved lips and the sides of his eyes wrinkle from amusement.

"Oh." You visibly flinch when he uses his thumb to brush the apple of your cheeks.

"There," he smiles, eyes fixated on his finger caressing your skin.

"You know you really have pretty eyes."

If you were in a romantic movie, his line would have panned out well. But you're not, so cue the sound of glass breaking to signify a shattered moment.

To think, you bought his act. You thought, here's a deviant frat boy species. Maybe not all of them are only interested in girls and booze. You even thought this Jeon Jungkook isn't so bad.

Until he says that.

Breaking away and stepping back from him, you humorlessly laugh in disbelief.

"You're a fucking cliché, Jungkook. Does this babble usually work on chicks?" You take a look at him and he has the audacity to look unaware of how hokey the situation is.

"Wha—" Poor boy couldn't even finish his sentence, you thought.

"Y/N, I'm not following."

You were about to make a joke on flies flying straight to his agape mouth but you hold yourself back. Instead, you make a gesture of shaking your head as you force out another dry laugh. You look at him one last time and walk away from the frat boy once again.

You hear his footsteps follow you, along with calls of your name. "Did I say something wrong?"

You stop as you reach the threshold—you're almost out of the garage and out into the cold dark night, ready to rush into the safety of your dorm and away from sleazy college boys.

But something in you compels you to turn, and so you do. "Yes, Jungkook. You did." Your hands grip your bag tighter, feet taking a couple of steps back into the garage, to the shoddy light so he can see you.

"Did you really think this charming ‘oh-i’m-clueless act was going to drop panties? You wanna know about art?" You hurl the question; voice no longer shaky and unsure. "When the campus playboy starts touching my face on dimly lit spaces, and starts talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal." You roll your eyes at him before making your exit.

It takes a minute for Jungkook to get his body to move. And when he does, you're already a distance away. Almost gone from his sight.

This is the second time today that you rendered him immobile and speechless. Just what the fuck did he do?

-

Meanwhile, you cursed at Jeon Jungkook on your entire walk home. Fuck him and his round innocent eyes for throwing the bees and butterflies in your stomach into chaos.

You tell yourself you dodged a bullet and that was just a ploy for him to get into your pants. You should actually congratulate yourself for turning away one of the notorious womanizers. Your roommate would be proud of you.

Still, you couldn't deny the jolt you felt in your chest when he touched your face and spewed those cheesy lines about your eyes.

You grunt as you slam the door to your dorm.

"Damn. Who pissed you off?" Jihyo, your roommate stares at you across her table.

You heave a sigh of exhaustion and plop yourself on the carpeted floor. "Had a run in with a frat guy," you spit with a scowl. "You remember the guy you were talking about last week? Jungkook? He's the model for this week."

"Seriously? That's..." Jihyo's head tilted sideways as she looked for the right word, brows furrowing. "Out of character for him."

You raise your head and prop your arms to face your roommate. "Right? That's what I thought, but Taehyung said he was interested in learning art."

At this, Jihyo pauses while eating and guffaws. "Is he for real?"

You roll your eyes at no one in particular and rest your head on your palms as your other hand plucks at the carpet. "Nah, I'm pretty sure he was just there to pick up girls."

Jihyo squints at you, suddenly alert as she senses something you haven't told her yet.

"He hit on me," you start. Already growing flustered at the recollection of the afternoon. "You know those cheesy lines from romcoms, he actually used them on me." You went on detail by detail about what happened and ended your story with a shudder. "This is the first time I might dread going to the class."

"Yep, I see why he thinks he could get away with the cheesiest line," Jihyo murmurs. Apparently, during your story, Jihyo picked up her phone and started to stalk Jungkook's profile. "I mean shame it wasn't nude because have you seen this body?" She flips her phone so you can see her screen.

"What? That's not Jungkook." You stand from your spot and walk closer to Jihyo and snatch the phone. "This isn't Jungkook."

"What are you talking about? That’s literally his profile,” Jihyo takes her phone back, wanting to take another look if you’re looking at the same thing. “See, Kim Jongkook. He’s the notorious fuck boy, probably in all departments. Good thing is, he’s graduating this year.”

Oh, fuck.

-

>> Still Untitled

[bonpourlorient]

Quick Thoughts About the Elections

Here are some disorganized thoughts I jotted down in the aftermath of the elections in Turkey. These aren’t in anyway authoritative. Just my hotcakes (with apologies to Sera).

1.      It feels like shit.

Some have described what has taken place in Turkey over the last election cycle as a historic defeat. For my part I can only say that electoral losses, while familiar by now, also feel like shit. Talking to other friends from Turkey, especially people who I’ve organized with, been in political parties with, protested with, this feeling seems to rıng true for others.

There are immediate material reasons that account for why the results feel so shit – a new regime of austerity, broader immiseration, worsened conditions of exploitation, further policing and violence against migrants, an enduring violence against women and LGBTQ people, the continuation of the Turkish state’s war against the Kurdish freedom movement… This seems to be the immediate future of Turkish politics.

In addition to all of this, I think the sense of despair I see in the Turkish left is an acknowledgement, in affective terms, of the ongoing foreclosure of the capacity to act collectively. This suspension is especially frustrating because at various times over the past 20 years, multiples centers of power on the left have found ways to mobilize despite adverse conditions. The election was especially frustrating, in other words, because it immediately followed the mobilization that the left in Turkey helped organized in the immediate aftermath of the February 6th earthquakes. It was shitty to witness Erdoğan win on the day the Gezi Park protests started. It’s additionally shitty that the mainstream opposition abandoned the more organized forms of collective resistance that have persisted throughout the 20 years of the AKP; especially queer liberation and the Kurdish freedom movements were not actively acknowledged or mobilized as bases of power.

Sure, all electoral politics are inherently liberal and almost always entail a foreclosure of radical politics in the long run. In this sense, elections will seldom ever be not disappointing. But there are two mechanisms that amplified this in the recent elections in Turkey. First is the amount of effort and attention that elections suck up. In an increasingly authoritarian regime like that of the AKP, where the party itself exercises sole authority over all state institutions, it takes a fuck ton of effort and time from hundreds of thousands of volunteers to hold elections. Second is that getting rid of Erdogan becomes such an overwhelming priority for so many people that actual matters of political contention are constantly suspended. The first dynamic I think is easier to make sense of. The AKP stuffs ballots, monopolizes all apparatuses of the state, dominates majority of news media through direct and indirect forms of control and economic pressure, intimidates voters especially in Kurdish majority regions, once elected mayors in Kurdish majority towns are suspended by the state and replaced with appointed trustees. But in a sense all of that is to be expected from this regime. What feels more shitty is the suspension of political priorities on the left, perhaps a deliberate almost strategic inaction.

2.      The Myth of Authoritarian Ineptitude

One common story that was told about the elections was that the government was already bound to lose the elections, that economic conditions were so bad, that poverty had worsened to such a degree, that jailing of reporters and dissidents had gotten so bad, that Erdogan and the regime oriented around him had finally lost so much credibility that it was bound to lose. This intuition that the AKP were “gidici” (on their way out) was something I heard over and over again during my time in Turkey.

I think what subtends this sense that the AKP were “gidici” is a of myth of authoritarian ineptitude. Maybe you’ve heard of the myth of fascist efficiency – the idea that, yes, fascists are terrible but at least they kept the trains running on time. I think there is a similar myth of authoritarian ineptitude – that regimes like that of Erdogan are so inept, so organized around a single charismatic figure, so ready to hallow out state institutions that they will, given time, self-annihilate. The sentiment that the JDP was bound to lose, that they were “gidici” given “objectively” how bad conditions are I think is in part related to this narrative of ineptitude.

The narrative betrays a liberal understanding of authoritarianism as a kind of irrational “populism” that rears its ugly head whenever experts are dismissed and strong men take charge. And of course it is wrong; the AKP regime and Erdogan are neither bumbling buffoons nor fascist masterminds but are responding to the realities of class politics, neoconservatism and racialization and the unfolding crises tendencies of capitalism as they manifest in a credit dependent, growth obsessed, hooked on cheap labor regime like that of Turkey.

Yet perhaps even more so, it misses the multiple power formations and forms of rightwing politics operating within the AKP regime. In fact, what has been especially instructive in the 20 years of the AKP era has been the constant dialectic between fascism and authoritarianism; the fascism of unrestrained credit backed by state power; of broadened immiseration but secured employment, of the dream of corporate sovereignty that wrests economic power away from international flows of capital (described as “the West” or the “interest lobby” by the AKP) on the one hand; the authoritarianism of controlled investment; of rising interest rates; of austerity and unemployment; of a rule based market-system on the other. I think what is hard for many liberals to accept is that this dialectic is one that is wholly internal to capital; it is a kind of double movement of capital.

In this sense, the AKP has always already been about its own self-reform. Party leaders routinely promise a return to the party’s “factory settings”; back to the early 2000s when the JDP promised a happy union between neoconservatism and neoliberalism; party leaders routinely admit that the regime needs restoration; are able to change policies and easily adapt. Similarly, today, the JDP are signaling a more “mainstream” economic policy, that will rise interest rates, seek to discipline labor, will increase unemployment. In many senses, this is the economic policy that the opposition also endorsed. Opposition political leaders and economic advisors often described the “bitter pill” (read austerity and unemployment) that would need to be swallowed to bring the Turkish economy under control. Under such conditions the regime’s plan of austerity wrapped up in narratives of economic sovereignty, megaprojects and neoconservative familial belonging might even be more palatable.

Opportunism; cynicism; pragmatism. These affects are part and parcel of contemporary capitalism even when this capitalism is articulated in more openly authoritarian hues.

3.   The Shitiness of Strategic inaction

This sentiment that the JDP were on their way out lead to a politics of strategic inaction – whereby oppositional actors of all political persuasions decided to suspend political action instead focusing narrowly on electoral results. Which lead to an incredible resurgence of rightwing sentiment of all kinds during the course of the last election.

Perhaps the most obvious case of such inaction was on the issue of refugees. The mainstream opposition openly embraced anti migrant rhetoric the main opposition party CHP even hung a poster with the phrase “borders are our virtue” on it from their party headquarters. They promised to “send back Syrians and Afghanis” within 2 years, later revised to 1 year in an attempt to court more far right voters. I honestly don’t know how one can carry out such promises without committing major human rights violations. This contributed to an atmosphere where anti migrant sentiment became the tip of the spear of far right politics in Turkey and helped become one of the main narratives through which opposition against the JDP was articulated. Inflation and rising cost of rent was articulated as a problem of migration. Increased political violence was articulated as a problem of migration. Even the opposition losing the elections was attributed to migrants being registered to vote for the JDP.

What’s frustrating about all of this is that the JDP’s migrant policy sucks. It effectively turns Turkey into the colonial office that contains and polices migrants on behalf of European nations. It denies migrants passage to Europe in return for financial aid to Turkey. It moreover denies migrants refugee status and forces migrants to act as a cheap labor force that helps discipline labor in Turkey. Last, it condones the Turkish military and state’s foreign interventions that act to cause migration in the first place.

What is frustrating is that strategic inaction refuses to politicize such issues. It refuses to imagine how migrants can become subjects of politics in Turkey rather than a problem to be solved. It refuses to imagine how to mobilize with migrants rather than silently condoning others mobilizing against them. Even when parties had progressive policies and stances against migrants we saw them reluctant to advocate or voice such policies instead choosing strategic inaction. More than the CHP for example it was disappointing that other, ostensibly socialist, and radical parties refused to openly politicize the issue.

A similar story is true about class politics more generally. In the aftermath of the pandemic, when inflation sky rocketed, a number of important workers strikes, protests and social reproduction struggles around rent materialized throughout Turkey. The opposition chose to deliberately ignore these in fears that they would distract from voting AKP out. What is more there was no compelling vision of what socialist parties would do for workers in Turkey. Beyond a generalized discourse about poverty and inequality there was no compelling vision of class politics. I think this is also true for how parties organized. The Turkish Labor Party who’s operations I have followed more closely and can speak more freely about, seemed to have embraced a tactic that was reminiscent of Justice Democrats in the US. Nominating charismatic, social media savvy MPs and seeking to grow participation through the “buzz” and interest this would generate. The flipside of such a tactic is that there is no strong class base for this kind of politics, you are beholden to what these charismatic figures individually say or do. Sure, they talk about “class” but there’s no class politics happening in the party structure, rather the party is composed of people who have found the idiosyncrasies of these media figures individually interesting or compelling. There weren’t really any overarching policies that became prominent during the campaigning stage – apart form we will oust Erdoğan and the AKP and will hold them to account after.

Last, neoconservative politics has been an important force in Turkey. In his victory speech on May 28th Erdogan directly targeted LGBT people in Turkey, rallying to “defend the family”. The same strategic inaction was also visible in this front. Mainstream opposition parties were almost wholly silent in response. But even more oppositional parties like the coalition of Kurdish, socialist and green left politics HDP/YSP and the socialist/populist TIP despite nominating trans and queer people as members of parliament didn’t openly vocalize an LGBTQ politics in their campaigns.

I think all of this also contributes to the shitty feeling. The story that the Turkish left collectively told itself was that once Erdoğan was ousted we could finally start to act politically once again.

I think it’s important to sit with this shitty feeling. And rather than paper over it with cheap optimism maybe once again ask, what does it mean to act?

[climatecalling]

What Can I Do For Climate?

[Pinned post]

1. Inform yourself

2. Become politically active

3. Transform your own life

4. Spread the word

-----------------------

1. Inform yourself - Reading up on climate can be very difficult because the news is so grim, and it can be very upsetting. I do most of my reading focused on possible solutions. I try to know the basics of the issue as well, but I am aware of not pushing my boundaries. Upsetting yourself is not the goal. Knowledge is the foundation that leads to the other steps.

2. Become politically active - Some options:

1) Volunteer for and/or donate to campaigns of candidates who will support climate legislation. As unexciting as it is to support politicians who keep on disappointing, and to wade into electoral politics in general, these are the folks who will actually vote on legislation. Just the effort of replacing any Republican with almost any Democrat is worth doing, even if it makes one sigh. (Sorry, this is going to be US-centric.) Volunteering can include canvassing, phone banking, writing letters, attending campaign rallies and events. Act locally, but if you’re not sure where to start, Swing Left tracks the most significant US races.

2) Go to protests. Showing up is one of the most significant things we can do.

3) Join a climate activism group, like Extinction Rebellion, the Sunrise Movement, Fridays for Future, and participate in their events. If there is nothing near you, there are some things you can participate in online. Check their websites. Other groups you can help: 350, Rainforest Action Network, NRDC, Stop Line 3, Oxfam, stand.earth, League of Conservation Voters...  Use these organizations to choose actions to take (from signing petitions to sending letters to politicians to becoming an organizer). They have many to choose from. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel.

4) Avoid burnout or guilt. Do what you can, when you can. It’s okay if you can’t. It’s not all on you.

3. Transform your own life - Transforming consumption habits among the world’s more-affluent is necessary to reduce emissions. Collectively, our impact on heating the climate is huge. (People who make $38,000 a year and up are the 10% who contribute 50% of global emissions.) Each individual effort to reduce is so tiny it’s insignificant, but it’s part of a bigger whole that needs to happen. But again, you can only do what you can, and the choices involved are complicated. It’s okay if you can’t. It’s not all on you. (The super-rich are the ones who really need to be doing this, because their contribution to GHG emissions goes hand-in-hand with their wealth.)

These are the most impactful actions, adapted from various sources. “If possible” is implied in all of these:

1) Live car-free. Walk, bike, use public transportation. If buying a car, buy electric or used, and drive less. (”Used” because the significant emissions of manufacturing a car can be avoided by driving an existing car.)

2) Take no more than one short flight every three years and one long flight every eight years.

3) Switch electricity provider to one that provides solar or wind energy. More challenging: also convert your house to using only electricity (no natural gas) and install a heat pump.

4) Switch to a vegan diet or greatly reduce meat -- especially beef -- and dairy consumption.

5) Buy no more than three new items of clothing a year. Avoid buying newly manufactured things whenever possible. Use what you already have for seven years or longer. A big chunk of consumer emissions are embedded in the things that we buy.

4. Spread the word - This may be the most important and possibly the hardest. Do what you can. Avoid heated and probably pointless arguments. As a general rule, say your piece and then let it go, without expecting to change anyone’s mind right in that moment. I try to focus on talking about solutions, which many people surprisingly don’t know. And use your piece of the internet, write letters to the editor, comment on articles, etc.

[peoplecallmelucifer]

Inspiration for a poem

So this will probs be a mini series ... enjoy

"THESE MACHINES HAVE NO PLACE HERE!"- shouted a short and bulky being- "And let's not forgot that the one escorting them is the same man who decided he knows better than anyone else of his species and got disowned by them as a result. Not even his own people want him! Grace is a menace who mocks true art and common sense"

This tirade continued in front of a group of a hundred or so people holding signs with writing such as "We don't want your toys" or "keep the machines away from Nitra"

Jonathan thought it hilarious while he watched the "massive" protest from across the riverbank calmly sipping a cup of what he refereed to as Attra tea.

"Those talkers seem not to appreciate you my friend" a small crystalline quadriped said while approaching him from behind.

"Wha- "Jonathan jumped "Ruea?! When did you get here?" John said instinctively placing his hands on his throat, a traditional Veq greeting while Rue simply waved one of her crystalline arms which baited a giggle out of John

"I actually never left. I requested to stay here and learn more about creation and how other peoples create. Considering the distance I have been cut off from my unity though.

"Oh that must have been tough"

"well yes, but The unity didn't leave me to fend for myself. a few more volunteers were found to come along with me and now I'm a queen of our new small unity. This unfortunately means I have to deal with some hive politics but oh well"

"oh god, I'm sorry... wait do I have to address you as your majesty now"

A pleasant clinging sound came from Ruea, a Veq equivalent of a chuckle "Well I'll make an exception for you, but from what I see you will be dragged into politics again as well"

"Yeah. The sentinels, as they call themselves don't like me much. And the fun thing is that for a brief moment I even considered joining them before this AI mess"

"Seriously?"

"Look they tried to market themselves as an artist community that looks to connect artist from any part of the Assembly to all the people of the assembly, they were pleasant, weren't unreasonable and had a lot of talented individuals among them... Then the Keledone awakening happened, and the first contact with the Tool freestate .. and they went off the deep end"

"I have been following that situation. I was curious to see how they will approach creatoin"

"Heh, most thought the 'machines' were incapable of art and you were just wondering what they'll make first. This is what I love about your species, your total blindness to prejudice"

"Well prejudice come from extreme emotions and the Veq simply do not comprehend or experience those. Besides, it's common logic all intelligent species like to express themselves"

"Yeah ... if only everyone thought like that" John finished his drink and stood up "Well it was nice to see you again and I hope we can talk more during the festival, but I have to get going"

"Where to?"

"Across the river"

"Into the protest?"

"Yup!" John added with a weird tone of enthusiasm

"Is that wise"

"Was what I did 2 years ago wise?"

"Well you seemed to think so"

"Not really, I just thought of what I did as na act against censorship. I'm lucky they hadn't hauled me off to jail"

Ruea was left speechless for a few seconds as John was picking up his backpack. His speech was not a gamble it was just spite A concept so foreign to her as a hive mind is to a human.

She finally spoke as John was about to leave

"Well try to be safe, tricks like that are seldom reusable"

"I know Ruea" John said "See you around your majesty" he said jokingly as he walked off

__

It took Johnatanabout 10 minutes to get across the river. In that time he thought of the chaos he caused 2 yers ago. The praise and scorn he earned, the fame and infamy. And him being an acting ambassador for the Tool during first contact didn't help either.

The was tired of politics and fame and everything related. All he ever wanted is to write poems about mundane things like getting a paper cut.

A large sight escaped him as he watched the river serpents on the fence of the walkway. These were intelligent and docile animals and if they didn't look like snakes he'd probably pet them but as he walked forward he suddenly ran out of fence, he was on the other side.

"Well shit. the wackos can wait, I can make this into a poem"

He sat down on the bench pulled out his pad and started typing. Time started passing as he thought planned and re-planed the lines, but he didn't care about much. For the first time in a while he was just writing for the hell of it. he noticed the protests have gotten louder but didn't pay any mind to it.

The sentinels were Insulting him, he knew that much but he was just about do-

SMACK

His pad was stolen trampled on and kicked into the river by the short bulky alien from before

"WE WILL NOT BE REPLACED BY THOSE ABOMINATIONS! WE DEMAND YOU ACKNOWLEDGE US AND OUR CONCERNS!" they screeched in Jonathan's face

"Oh woops, well that's unfortunate" John

The certainty, the cold rage, the monstrous look were too much for the Kirr to handle as he just turned and ran. They didn't scream, they were too busy running. The rest of the Sentinels quickly scattered and Jonathan was left alone

"Fuck!" he said as the adrenaline started to wear off "oooh fuckity furckity fuuuck" he repeated as he rummaged trough his backpack with his right hand. "Never walk with an opened switchblade you cretin! You know better" John talked to himself as he heard the familiar "Tink" against the limestone walkway

"You really can not act sane" Ruea said obviously frustrated, with a two smaller Veq next to her. She emitted a few chirps and electric impulses that made the hair on Jonathan's hands shiver "They will walk beside you" Ruea said.

"They will escort you to our hotel. It's 2 minutes away, I'll make sure there is a medic there. You will not leave a hotel without these two following you, you will stay there until the Festival is over, you will NOT get anywhere near the Sentinel and you WILL listen"

Jonathan was getting a little light-headed so he leaned on one of the Veq escorting him. "Heh. I can see why they made you a queen... And thank you Ruea"

"That's what friends are for, now get going, I have to contact your hotel and get them to send your things over"

Johnatan felt woozy but tried not to show it not to worry Ruea any more, he was amazed at his ability to pretend to be fine while the two minute walk seemed like a marathon. and then a tough hit him

"Hehe"

"is something humorous master creator?" one of the Veq asked

"Oh nothing, I just got an idea for my next poem."

[writethelifeyouwant]

Everything's Bigger In Texas

Summary: You decide to drive up to Dallas to surprise your old high school buddy, Jared, while he’s there for a convention.

Pairing: Jared x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: J2 convention hilarity, dick jokes, only one bed, high school friends, spooning, size kink Word Count: 3,504 Bingo Squares: @spnkinkbingo - Size Kink

A/N: Not set around any particular season. For the purpose of this story, Jared and Jensen are both single, non-fathers.

Commissioned by: @jbbarnesgirl She had a great prompt that this has now spawned a sequel (which will be a member exclusive on my website)! Thanks for letting my mind run wild on this one babe ❤️

You pull into the parking space the valet wrote on your ticket and park with a dramatic exhale of relief. You’ve actually gone through with it and made the three hour drive up to Dallas to surprise Jared at his convention this weekend.

It had been years since your last high school reunion in Austin when you’d run into each other and wound up drunk in a Waffle House at three in the morning, stuffing your faces with bacon and french fries. You and he were the kind of friends that were awful at keeping in touch but time traveled straight back to junior year anytime you ran into each other. You’ve always been able to talk and laugh like only a weekend had passed between visits instead of years.

You hope Jared’s happy to see you, because you’ve been bursting at the seams with excitement since you came up with your ‘surprise’ plan.

The hotel lobby is swarming with fans and you wonder how on earth you’re going to find Jared in all the bustle. Your plan is to find someone who looks like they’re working the convention and ask for directions to Jared and Jensen’s bodyguard, Clif, who you hope to God remembers dropping your drunk ass off at your apartment after the Waffle House incident. It’s not a very elegant plan but it’s all you’ve got. You spot someone with a lanyard and a walkie-talkie and beeline toward them, fingers crossed in your pocket.

Twenty minutes and several tiers up the convention staff hierarchy later you’re finally led to a service hallway and ushered towards a door, Clif standing guard stoically outside it. The employee escorting you speaks quietly to Clif while you stand there awkwardly, rocking back and forth, toes to heel, in an effort to contain your nervous energy. A look of recognition slowly dawns across the bodyguard’s face as he takes another look at you.

“Austin, a couple years ago?” he asks to confirm.

“High school reunion,” you nod in affirmation, relieved he actually does remember you.

“No getting Jared drunk until after the panel,” Clif admonishes, aiming a thick finger menacingly at your face, and you nod gravely before his face cracks into a grin and he swings the door behind him back on its hinges.

“Y/N?!” Jared’s facing the door and spots you immediately, his face breaking into a wide smile. The anxiety that had solidified in your chest with each passing mile on your way here disintegrates, carrying the tension out of your body as it melts away.

“Hey there, Hot Shot.”

Jared bounds forward and wraps you tightly in a hug, the muscles in his arms visibly bulging the sleeves of his t-shirt as he squeezes you against him, which you can’t help but notice because your eye level is at his bicep. You hug him back as tightly as you can manage, pressing your cheek into his chest.

“How ya doin’, squirt?” Jared grabs your shoulders and manhandles you away from him so he can get a better look at you, his eyes racing up and down your figure. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, Dallas is only a three hour drive,” you shrug. It’s no big deal really, you’d just wanted to see him. “Plus my mom cancelled our girls’ weekend, so I had nothing better to do,” you grin, your eyes twinkling up at him wryly. Behind you, you hear Jensen snort with laughter. Jared turns to his friend, giving him a withering look and Jensen chokes back another laugh, unable to hide his amusement.

“Dude, you were her back-up plan after her mom?”

“Shut up,” Jared rolls his eyes but you join in Jensen’s giggles.

“I’m Jensen, by the way,” the man in question raises a hand in greeting, and you smile back.

“Y/N,” you wave. “Went to high school with this nut case,” you jerk your thumb towards Jared.

“Feels like I do too,” Jensen laughs. “He still acts like he’s fourteen most of the time.”

“Hey!” Jared points an accusing finger at Jensen, “at least fifteen, thank you very much.”

“And what exactly is the distinction between fourteen and fifteen here, Jay?” he asks.

“He doesn’t pop a boner every time he talks to a girl anymore?” you offer, snickering. Jensen bursts out laughing, a full bellied, joyous sound that fills out every corner of the room. Jared is rolling his eyes again, but you spy the faint blush that’s started to creep up his neck, and based on the smirk Jensen’s wearing, you think he’s spotted it too.

“So,” Jared draws out the syllable, trying to change the topic. “Are you staying for the convention then?”

“Got my ticket and everything,” you wave your pass in the air. “But mainly I just wanted to see you, it’s been way too long.”

“Yeah, it has,” Jared squeezes your arm affectionately. “Where’s your seat? I think we’re getting called out soon.”

“Oh I’m with the plebs at the back, standing room. Seeing your ass is only worth so much money,” you tease.

“You’re standing?” Jared’s brow shoots up. “You won’t be able to see a damn thing,” he laughs.

“You’re tall enough to see from space, Bigfoot,” you try to hit him on the head but he easily stretches his neck so you can’t reach, illustrating your point.

“She’s gotcha there, J-Rod,” Jensen agrees, strolling forwards and smacking Jared on the back of the head for you, since your attempt was foiled. “But you don’t have to stand all the way back there, sweetheart,” Jensen adds. “Come out with us, we’ll have someone put you at the side of the stage.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I really don’t mind standing,” you protest. You didn’t want to take space away from the fans who had paid for the close seats. You’re only a casual watcher of the show anyways, ghosts and monsters aren’t so much your thing, you just watch it because of Jared.

“Nah, c’mon,” Jared ignores your protest, striding back towards the door and popping his head out to talk to Clif. “Can you have them slap an extra chair on the side of the stage? Y/N’s gonna stick around for the panel.”

“Sure thing,” Clif nods, and radioes a volunteer to get it done.

“Jared,” you roll your eyes at your friend.

“Too late,” he taunts. “You’re stuck with the fangirls now.”

“Just keep in mind all the shit I could tell them,” you threaten jokingly.

“Nah, you won’t do that.” Jared’s entirely unconcerned.

“Why not?”

“Because then I won’t pay for our drinks tab later,” he smirks.

You mime turning a lock and throwing away the key. “My lips are sealed.”

“You better tell me later though, sweetheart,” Jensen ducks his head to whisper in your ear as they usher you out the door.

“Buy me a couple cosmos, you can know anything you want,” you smirk, and let Jensen and Jared guide you out to the convention hall for their panel.

“I will definitely take you up on that,” Jensen’s breath ghosts ticklishly over your ear. He shoots you a wink as he ducks behind a dividing curtain and you wave back giggling, and make your way to the seat Clif is pointing you towards.

The panel is a whole lot of fun, and you have to admit it’s definitely better sitting up front than it would have been fighting to stay standing in the sea of hormones jostling at the back. This close up, you can see Jared and Jensen’s reactions much more clearly, too; every secretive grin between them, every twitching laugh line, every aborted glance back in your direction. Laughter rings through the crowd and you refocus your attention on the questions.

“Which one of us is the biggest what?” Jensen speaks into his mic, asking the girl on the opposite side of the stage to you to repeat her question.

“Well I’m the biggest,” Jared cuts in smirking, and the audience cheers and giggles. Jared flashes them a bright, goofy smile.

“Well, that depends on what she’s asking,” Jensen smacks Jared on the arm. The girl tries to ask her question again but she’s laughing through it and the words come out garbled again.

“Which one of us has the biggest pants?” Jared’s brow raises as he incorrectly repeats the question again. You know there’s no way that’s what the girl asked. “That’s still me darlin’.” He turns to your side of the stage goddamn winks, and you flush just as deeply as the girl asking her question. You roll your eyes at him, glad that he probably can’t see you very clearly due to the stage lights shining in his eyes.

“That topic is still up for debate, actually,” Jensen protests seriously.

“No it’s not,” Jared scoffs.

“Uh, yeah, it is.” Jensen’s not backing down. “Costume department compared our measurements bro, they’re the same.”

“You and I both know that didn’t include the measurement they’re talking about,” Jared glares jokingly out at the audience.

There’s wolf whistles and shrieks of delight from the crowd and Jensen bursts out laughing. “You’re gonna give them all aneurysms, man.”

You certainly feel like you might be having an aneurysm. Your blood is pumping hot and hard through your veins. You can actually hear it swirling around your body, leaking out into your capillaries, carrying burning embarrassment and desire to the tips of each vessel.

It’s a running joke, the size difference between you and Jared. He towers over most of the people he meets, so it’s not unsurprising that he towers over you as well. He’s called you ‘squirt’ as long as you can remember knowing him, and you’ve called him every name you can dream up, from ‘sasquatch’ to ‘jolly green giant’.

As you both grew older, and Jared’s physique caught up to his height, and your mind started to take up a more permanent residence in…ahem… lower places than it had inhabited in your youth, you began to wonder just how big Jared would be if you ever… You imagine big. Proportional, at the very least. Though, Jared has always been an overachiever, you imagine it might extend to this measurement as well. You secretly hope, anyway.

You gulp nervously. There’s a reason you and Jared had gotten so trashed the last time you’d hung out, and that was so you could drown your burgeoning crush in some socially acceptable poison and hope it didn’t break its head through the surface. Jared looks back at you and flashes you a smile, probably in relation to whatever he’d just said but you hadn’t been listening, mind too preoccupied thinking about the size of your friend’s dick. You let out a sigh of resignation – you were going to have to get smashed tonight, too.

“Oh,” Jensen’s voice rings through the auditorium as he finally understands the question. “Which one of us did the biggest prank?”

“Uh, Jensen,” Jared answers after a moment of dramatised consideration, “just now when he told you all he has a bigger dick than me.”

There’s an echoing thud as Jensen smacks Jared’s head with his microphone and Jared and Jensen both double up laughing, covering their mics so it doesn’t reverberate around the room. When things settle down after a minute you see Jensen lean towards Jared to say something privately. The mics don’t pick it up, but you’re close enough that you think you hear him say, “later tonight, we’re getting out the ruler.”

The hotel bar is basically empty, but you and Jared are still in a private room at the back so he doesn’t get mobbed by fans if they do happen to wander in. Jensen had joined you for a drink earlier, but he had to leave to perform at the Saturday night concert for the convention.

-

“Do you ever perform on Saturdays?” you poked at Jared, and both he and Jensen laughed wildly.

“Never in a million years,” Jared shook his head. “I just watch this guy give everyone in the room phantom orgasms all night.”

“Gross, dude,” Jensen shuddered as Jared guffawed but you had to agree, Jensen’s voice was orgasmic.

“Have fun with your ménage a several hundreds,” you waved Jensen off with a giggle.

“You’ll have to join in sometime,” Jensen backed out of the room with a wicked grin, wiggling his eyebrows ridiculously and leaving you and Jared laughing behind him.

-

“You want another one?” Jared asks, pointing at your nearly empty glass.

“If I have any more I’ll have to crawl back to Austin,” you hiccup, the alcohol making you giggle-y and unsteady despite your seated state.

“You’re not goin’ back to Austin, squirt,” Jared protests, drowning the remainder of his own glass.

“Am I being kidnapped?”

“Damn straight. You’re not driving anywhere tonight, don’t be stupid.”

“I was gonna dry out a little first,” you defend yourself. Of course you weren’t planning to drive home drunk.

“By the time you sober up it will be way too late to go back. Just stay the night here,” Jared shrugs, indicating it’s no big deal for you to crash. You think about it for a moment and then agree that staying over is a better plan. Besides, Jared will have a big fancy room since the convention is paying for them to stay here – he’ll have plenty of space for you.

“Fine,” you sigh dramatically but you aren’t all that perturbed, and Jared knows it too. “Thank you.”

“What are friends for?” Jared grins. “C’mon, I’ll grab a bottle from the bar and let’s go upstairs. I don’t want to get caught in the crowd after the concert finishes.” You also don’t want to be mobbed by hundreds of concert goers, so you happily follow Jared out of the bar and up to his hotel room.

Jared flops dramatically onto his bed when you get inside, but you stand by the door, taking in your surroundings. As you’d imagined, the room is lavish. Every piece of furniture is accented with metallics, and every soft surface is heaped with pillows, including the bed Jared is now snuggling back onto. But, you note with a bit of surprise, there is only one bed.

Apparently fancy doesn’t automatically come with multiple beds – and why should it? Jared hadn’t expected anybody to stay the night, he’d only needed the one bed. Had he known there was only one bed when he offered you a place to crash for the night? Or had someone else brought up the luggage that you could see piled at the foot of the bed, meaning he wouldn’t have known what the exact sleeping situation would turn out to be? You’re jolted out of your frenzied contemplation when Jared throws a pillow at your head, though it narrowly misses and hits the door behind you.

“Are you just gonna stand there all night?” he laughs, eyes crinkling.

“Uh, no, course not,” you scoff, hoping Jared assumes the flush creeping over your skin is from alcohol, and not embarrassment. Jared scoots over to one side of the bed and pats the empty space he’s just created. The bottle of whiskey he’d brought from the bar downstairs is propped next to him on the pillows and it bounces as you settle yourself on top of the covers. You reach for it and peel back the foil cap, pulling the cork free with a pop.

“Wanna watch something?” Jared rifles on the side of the bed, digging for his laptop in the bag on the floor.

“Whatever you want,” you shrug.

You inwardly hope watching something might help you control your drunk chatter. Your mind has been wandering to one specific place since the panel this afternoon and you’re hyper aware that when you get tipsy, your filter becomes non existent. You do not want to give Jared an unsolicited insight into your horribly inappropriate mind.

Your eyes shift from the bottle in your hands to Jared’s laptop, now open and sitting on his thighs while he surfs through movie options online. His hands overwhelm the breadth of the keyboard, the pads of each long finger almost bigger than the letter keys they’re hovering over. How far could those fingers reach if they were… No. You curtail that course of thought with a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle and flick your eyes away from his hands.

Jared’s legs are pressed together, gangly limbs and knees scrunched up and pushing the fabric at his hips into ripples. An unmissable bulge sits at the apex of his thighs, distending the denim so it’s stretched tightly across his cock while it’s bunched and wrinkled everywhere else. You swallow hard and tear your gaze away, forcing yourself to look back at Jared’s laptop. He’s stopped scrolling now, and after a moment you realise he’s asking you if the movie he’s hovering over is an okay choice. You nod mutely and take another drink.

“Woah there darlin’, save some for the rest of us,” he laughs, grabbing the bottle from your hands, fingertips brushing over yours as he wraps them around the green glass. You wonder if Jared feels the same pang of electricity that you do when you touch. He’s evidently curious as to why you recoiled so quickly, because he’s now carefully studying your hand and the fingers that had just brushed against his.

Your moment of thick silence is interrupted by the fanfare of opening credits as the movie begins to play, startling you. Jared smooshes himself further back into the feather pillows on the unfairly comfy bed and stretches his arms wide, patting the pillow he’s using as an armrest to summon you to him.

Nervous and giddy all at once, you tuck yourself into the crook of his arm, curling up against his side. Even laying down he feels so much bigger than you. Your eyes drop again, unbidden, to his lap and you rip your gaze away quickly. The whiskey must be settling in now, because you start to feel sleepy and because, for just a second, you think that the bulge in Jared’s crotch looks even larger than it had a few minutes earlier.

Jared pulls you close against him, offering you the whiskey bottle again, and you take it happily. The two of you lazily glug more booze and laugh along with whatever comedy is on the laptop, and you’re utterly content. At some point in time your neck loses its ability to support your head and you topple it sideways onto Jared’s shoulder.

“You comfy there, Y/N?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hum sleepily, snuggling even deeper into Jared’s chest, your arm winding itself around his waist of its own accord, and Jared squeezes you against him, laughing softly into your hair.

You aren’t sure when you fell asleep – you don’t remember the end of the movie at all. You don’t even remember how you’d wound up under the covers, cradled snugly in the bend of Jared’s body. Wiggling a little to reintroduce feeling into your left arm, you shift backwards into his chest, secretly hoping the arm currently resting on top of the covers might drop around your waist as you continue to sleep.

Arching out to stretch your legs a little, you wind up nudging your hips back into Jared’s and you freeze in shock. Here, pressed close beneath the confines of cotton-swaddled feathers, you feel it… and you can tell – Jared hadn’t been kidding at the panel earlier. He must be bigger than Jensen, because there’s no way anyone could be physically larger than what you feel pressing into the curve of your ass right now.

Your whole body flushes, but you’re too scared to move away lest you wake Jared, so you stay. You try to breathe, systematically unclenching the muscles in your body from head to toe and allowing yourself to relax against your bed companion. Darkness settles around you when your eyes drift shut again but the light from Jared’s laptop still casts a faint blue tint against your eyelids.

That comforting blue morphs into a shocking orange, and your eyes squint against the unexpected source of light now coming from the open door. Seconds later it’s even brighter as the lights in the room are switched on to reveal Jensen leaning casually against the back of the door, smirking in the direction of the bed. Behind you, Jared has jolted awake, sitting up and pitching you forward into the mattress with the force of his disturbance.

“Jay?” he asks blearily, yawning through the word.

“Why did I have a feeling this is what I’d be walking into tonight?” Jensen answers with a laugh and a kind roll of his eyes. You look sleepily between both of the men, confused as all hell.

Finally, it occurs to you why Jensen must be in the room – and why there had only been one bed.

Part 2 now up as an exclusive commission on my website!

We’re All Mads Here: @vulgar-library @tintentrinkerin @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @schaefchenherde @kickingitwithkirk @little-diable @laxe-chester67 @kassyscarlett @austin-winchester67 @flamencodiva @katbratsupernaturalwhore

All SPN: @cemini-winchester @akshi8278 @stoneyggirl @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @lovealways-j @slamminmine @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @eddiesgirl @raidens-realm @tatted-trina6 @defenderrosetyler @delightfullykrispypeach @05supernatural20 @sams-sass @calaofnoldor @thinkinghardhardlythinking

[nctsjiho]

Relationship with: NCT 127

Click here for: NCT 127, NCT U, NCT Dream, WayV

Taeyong:

Original contender of getting JiHo’s current room, but gave it up because she has a lot of stuff and spends more time in the dorm than he does

Is such a dad

Doesn’t show much affection towards her and vice versa, but there’s this mutual respect towards each other

Not the first person JiHo goes to when she has something on her mind, but she knows she can trust Taeyong with her heavy problems

They used to look super awkward around each other, but now they are the type of friends that can just sit in silence together doing their own thing and it not feel awkward at all

Very wholesome interactions

For example, Taeyong once lost a bet during one of their NCT Daily videos and had to clean up at the end. JiHo stayed behind and helped him clean up while talking about how fun the video shoot was. It looked so natural and NCTzens were so happy to see them together like that

Taeil:

Another dad

The person JiHo goes to for validation when singing

Either he or Doyoung is there when JiHo has to record a singing part for a new song (honestly she’s an amazing singer but is just really afraid to sing because of some past trauma ㅠㅠ )

Just like Taeyong doesn’t have many interactions with JiHo on camera, but together with the hyung line he is definitely a stable support system for her

JiHo is a sucker for great vocalists and there may or may not be a video of JiHo wide-eyed and with a dropped jaw listening to Taeil sing

Gets flustered a lot because of JiHo

She never misses a beat when getting the chance to praise his singing or volunteering him as a tribute to sing during a variety show

Calls JiHo his cute dongsaeng that doesn’t tease him too often

Johnny:

Brings out the chaos in JiHo, but in respectful amounts

JiHo is extraverted but quiet, so he tries to bring out her social side

The one that tries to get her to talk during variety shows to give her more screentime

Thinks she’s cute but would never say it out loud

Have a kind of brother-sister relationship

JiHo talks a lot to him in English

Takes her to excercise a lot

When he started boxing more and she tagged along once, he really enjoyed it

But then she started going more often and sometimes alone, and now the members blame him for taking her in the first place because they are worried she might get hurt

Doyoung:

Loves that JiHo doesn’t tease him too much

It’s a nice change from his other dongsaengs ahmm... Heachan *cough*

Contrary to popular belief are actually very close

Doyoung spent a lot of time with JiHo before his debut, and when he found out JiHo was going to be part of NCT he started learning her their choreos or helped her with singing

One of her “singing coaches”

More like moral support than anything, because she is a good singer he only needs to tell her she’s doing great

They can get quite sassy with each other

When Haechan comes to annoy him, JiHo dips and it breaks his heart every time

“I don’t wanna become another one of Haechan’s victims, you’re on your own Love”

Puts a lot of trust in JiHo and is against babying her too much, because he knows she’s a very strong person and doesn’t need it

Yuta:

When he found out JiHo spoke Japanese he was excited

When he found out JiHo was half-Japanese he was even more excited

Now they almost only converse in Japanese

He’s very protective of her

Is even careful with having the members around when JiHo is feeling down

The first to find out when small things are bothering her, bigger things she usually keeps to herself until someone notices and pries it out of her

Loves her publicly

JiHo is like a small puppy that he needs to take care of

He will cling on to her whenever he can even against the managers protests who want to avoid controversies a.k.a. dating rumours

Loves Yuta as well and often wants to partner up with him in games

Actually, she always wants to, but for the sake of keeping things fun they change every so often

Jaehyun:

Got sad when he wasn’t part of the ‘Guys who are really pretty/beautiful’

JiHo is a bro

“Yo bro!!!” “My man!” “Wassup dude!”

When they hang out JiHo becomes a whole bruh girl and the fans love it

International NCTzens want Jaehyun to talk English more and JiHo is the reason he does

People call them brothers a lot

He’s more clingy and “cutesy” with the male members than with her XD

She feels sooooo comfortable with Jaehyun to a problematic extent

SM even had to tell her to act a little more lady-like after hanging out with Jaehyun for a few weeks over Chuseok

JiHo doesn’t like watching TV that much, but Jaehyun always seem to pick out the good series and that’s why he’s the only one that gets to watch Netflix with her

Best bros <3

Winwin:

She melts~~

Has a soft spot for Winwin (like everyone else does) but isn’t overly affectionate and he appreciates that

Was awkward with JiHo for a while, but then she started learning Chinese. He noticed how much effort she put in to become accepted in NCT as the only girl. Now he doesn’t feel awkward anymore

He looks up to her because she’s so hardworking

Share a lot of cute fan favourite moments, usually where they are in the background of videos or vlives laughing together

They spent a lot of time practising dances together and said he’d like to dance together with her for an NCT Dance video

Jungwoo:

Loves the girl

It’s mutual

She gets really embarrassed around him though because he teases her and makes fun of her a lot, but he never crosses a line

Is part of the  ‘Guys who are really pretty/beautiful’ group alongside Renjun, Jaemin, and Doyoung

Really proud of that and makes fun of Jaehyun (and the other guys) for not getting chosen

JiHo said she fell in love with Jungwoo when he dressed up as a girl during the 2018 Halloween video (this made people believe that JiHo was actually lesbian or bisexual, but in this house, we do not assume gender or sexuality since JiHo has yet to speak up about it)

“Jungwoo’s visuals are... wow...”

JiHo is one of the only people that can make Jungwoo blush and she doesn’t even try!

He said JiHo’s just a cute person outside what people usually see from her

Mark:

Little-big brother

JiHo makes him laugh almost as much as Haechan or Johnny do

Helps her with rapping and is the person JiHo reaches out to when she wants validation with her rapping

Spent a whole night with her in the studio after she had a mental breakdown when she kept messing up and the producer told her to come back the next day

They never talk about it and no one else knows (that’s what they thought but Taeil and Doyoung do know. Of course they respect JiHo’s privacy and never bring it up) but he’s always there for her before or during she records her rap part when he knows she’s nervous or stressed out

“Dude!”

“DUDE!”

If Jaehyun is JiHo’s bro, then Mark is her dude shut up I don’t make the rules

They talk in English a lot as well, JiHo actually helps him out with his Korean at times

Haechan:

TEASE

The biggest piece of sh-

But we’ve been knew

Thinks JiHo is a great singer but never says anything, because he will not show her his soft side for her

Knows JiHo isn’t the best reader and while he usually makes fun when the other members mess up when they read, he’ll never make fun or laugh at JiHo

The first and only time he’d done so, he saw how her smile faded and it broke his heart so he never did it again

Instead, he’ll volunteer to read instead of JiHo whenever possible and she appreciates it a lot

Doesn’t believe that JiHo is technically younger than him

Believes in treating everyone equally, so if he didn’t tease or annoy her enough during practice, promotions, or video shoots he’ll annoy her at the dorms

Barges in her room whenever he wants to  and after an hour of annoying her or “ruining” her Vlive, he will just sit on her bed and play on her switch or his phone for a few hours

[giorno-plays-piano]

Can i get a yandere steve or bucky "rescuing reader" from a family brunch? She doesn't know him, hes been stalking her.

Who loves the characters stalking their darlings?? Meeee 🙈🙈🙈

Thank you for your request, honey!

Secret relationship

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, swearing, implied stalking, kidnapping.

Words: 1729.

__________________

Although the encounters with your family grew a bit more hostile over the year, this family brunch was an utter nightmare to you: your mom decided you didn’t know how worried she were about you having no decent partner. Listening to her trying to force you meeting a son of her coworker - “a very sweet boy with a kind heart and a nice salary, Y/N!” - you did your best not to roll your eyes. She was being impossible. Why on Earth did your mother think she could invade your life this way? You weren’t a kid anymore, and you didn’t need her interfering in your affairs.

But even your dad was unable to stop her as she kept talking more and more about you finally settling down. Once again your mother reminded you that in your age she had already had children of her own while you still struggled to find a man. Of course, she didn’t listen to you saying you didn’t want to settle down just yet. 

Internally screaming, you drank your tea, unable to touch those amazing cinnamon buns right in front of you because your mom would definitely ask you whether you kept a healthy diet. She sent you such a look when you wanted to order some pasta.

“Mom, please.” You exhaled, barely holding on. “Every time you tried fixing me up with someone it never worked out. I know you’re doing it for me, but, ugh, we just have very different taste in men. Dad, no offense!”

He had to suppress a laugh under your mother’s icy glare and quickly snatched a bun, pretending he’s busy eating. You couldn’t blame him - sometimes you wandered how he was holding on all those years with your mom.

She wasn’t a bad parent, really. You loved her, and she was ready to give you everything she had to make you happy, but sometimes your mother just couldn’t see the line where she had to stop. Of course, her concern was genuine, yet she had no right to intrude into your personal life like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Dear, if you were able to find a nice man on your own, I wouldn’t have to do it for you,” she said, narrowing her eyes at you, and you felt like hiding behind your dad’s back.

“Well, maybe I have someone, but I just don’t tell you about him!” You protested, setting your cup back on the saucer and crossing your arms on your chest. “Have you ever thought about that?”

“And why would you refuse letting me know you date someone decent?” She chuckled, lowering her fork into heavenly smelling spaghetti Bolognese. “The answer is simple, isn’t it? Because even if he exists he’s not decent!”

You were really fighting your growing desire to just stand up, pay for the meal at the counter and leave because your mother was really insufferable today. You could never understand her concern with you not seeing anyone. if you were still happy, why did it matter? Why didn’t she ask you about your reasons? The last relationship you were in was suffocating, and you thought you were still recovering from it, enjoying your freedom.

God, now you were really thinking of asking your friend to pretend you were dating just to calm down your mom.

Exhaling loudly and squeezing your eyes shut when your dad tried talking to her, you wished for this family brunch to end as quickly as it could. Well, could you maybe message some of your friends to give you a call and then act like it was your boss? Last time it worked.

“Sweetheart, why do you never pick up your phone?”

Someone’s voice rang right behind you, and you jumped a little in your seat, turning away from your parents and looking at the man standing too close to your liking. 

Holy cow. He looked like Adonis. Or Apollo. You couldn’t really tell, gawking at his impressive biceps barely hidden by his t-shirt, his tight jeans hugging all the right places - he reminded you of a ancient Greek statue, so picture-perfect and absolutely hot.

But what did this breathtakingly handsome stranger want from you? You certainly didn’t remember befriending any Greek gods in this lifetime.

“I’m sorry if I scared you. I admit I was a little mad you didn’t answer my calls.” He smiled, disarming and charming, and you were almost chocking on air at his tender tone. 

Then he lifted the sunglasses he was wearing, and you realized he was winking at you. 

Oh. Ooooh.

“I’m sorry!” You exclaimed, hurriedly taking out your phone from your bag hanging on the chair. “I put it on silent and forgot to check. Hi dear! How did you find me?”

“I’ve been secretly stalking you, of course.” He laughed it off, and the glasses kept going down on his nose until you saw who he really was. The next second you froze, happy you turned away from your parents as they would definitely see something wasn’t right.

Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, was staring back at you.

For a moment you forgot how to breathe, mentally kicking yourself to say something, anything at all to keep the conversation going. Captain America saw your miserable encounter with your mom and decided to give you a hand to escape this family brunch, and you weren’t even able to utter a single word. But who could blame you for that, right? How often did you see a superhero coming to rescue you from your own mom?

You needed to say something. You absolutely needed to say something.

“I will be more careful next time.” You managed to smile playfully at him, turning to face your parents and seeing they, too, had already realized who was standing in front of them. “Mom, dad, I’m sorry, but there’s a very good reason why I can’t meet that nice guy you were telling me about.”

“Please, forgive me my rudeness.” Steve hurriedly said as if he just saw people sitting at the same table with you, coming closer and extending his arm to your dad, then kissing the back of your mother’s hand. You were ready to laugh at her bedazzled expression, her mouth open a little. “My name is Steve. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” Your father said in a quiet voice, unable to process who was standing close to him. 

It looked pretty surreal to you too, but you could hardly wish for a more perfect way to stop your mom from fixing you up with someone. Of course, you couldn’t tell her about your date because you were seeing Captain fucking America, alright? And no other sweet and nice boy could ever be compared to him, perfection of perfection.

You were so damn lucky Steve Rogers was willing to help you out here.

“I’m very sorry to interrupt your brunch, but I really need Y/N’s help with something and it's rather delicate. May I snatch her from you?” You could tell even your mother was absolutely abashed with his wide smile when Steve looked at her questioningly.

“O-of course, sir.” Your dad said, seeing his wife currently losing her ability to speak. “We perfectly understand. Thank you for taking care of her. Have a good day!”

With that you were finally free, standing up abruptly and clenching your bag in your hands as you bid your goodbye to your parents, now walking side by side with a national hero who had put his large arm around your waist like it was a usual thing. You still had a hard time accepting the fact it was Steve Rogers who had volunteered to save you. He was risking his privacy doing it - how did he know your mom or you wouldn’t run to paparazzi squad and claim you’re dating Captain America? It would surely bring him troubles.

Yet here you were, walking further and further from that little restaurant with him, unable to say a single word.

“Thank you so much, sir.” You barely whispered, and the man turned his head to you, smiling. “I don’t know what I’d do if you wouldn’t come.”

“Why are you calling me sir?” He laughed, shaking his head and rubbing your back affectionately. “I’m just Steve. Always happy to help a lady.”

Your cheeks were burning instantly, and you bit your lips, lowering your head and wondering how far did you have to walk together so your parents wouldn’t see you two parting ways. Hell, would your mom try to spy on you? It wouldn’t be surprising, actually.

So, you walked and walked until the restaurant became just a little spot somewhere far away.

“Thank you for your help.” You repeated, stopping in the middle of a street and making Steve frown, unable to understand why you weren’t willing to keep walking. “I’m so sorry I took so much of your time. You don’t have to accompany me any longer!”

“What?” He asked, looking at you with a slight concern. 

“I mean, I’m sure my parents had long lost us in the crowd. Besides, we’re so far from them, So, um, you don’t have to keep pretending.”

“What are you talking about, sweetheart?”

Taking his sunglasses away, he gently drew you closer to him, and you watched him tilting his head to the side as he rubbed circles on the back of your hand. Steve’s smile was so tender it was able to make you melt, but the way his eyes lingered on you... You suddenly felt uneasy. Why was he reluctant to let you go?

“I’m saying I’m alright and I can continue on my own, si-” You got silent for a second as his gaze turned dark. “Steve.”

“Let’s not a make a scene, dear.” He smiled, giving you a kiss on the forehead while you froze on the spot. “I don’t want your mom to think things haven't been great between us. It’s gonna break her heart, you know?”

Before you had time to say something, confused and a little scared of the things Steve was talking about, he had forcefully dragged you along to a car parked out on the street and opened the door, quickly pushing you inside. He closed the door right when you decided it was time to scream for help.

_______________________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @ninefuckingoneone  

[mcheang]

Hello. It's been a while. :) Post-Miracle Queen: There’s an Akuma who turns people into cute baby animals. During this state, people don't have memories as humans. They act like an animal would. Marinette gets hit and becomes the class pet until Ladybug fixes everything. Lila doesn't like this and having to pretend to coo over her rival. Her fake enthusiasm and plots to get Marinette banned temporarily from school gets her caught eventually by angry classmates.

Baby Mari

This is a draft

It’s annoying when your older siblings pull the whole “I’m older” card on you. Sometimes it can lead to deep, negative emotions. Something Hawkmoth takes advantage of when he akumatizes Perrine, fed up with her bossy older brother telling their mother she isn’t responsible enough for a pet yet.

So she is transformed to the Pacifier, and is heading for Dupont, where her brother is.

With a shake of her rattle, Pacifier sprinkles glitter on her victims, who turns into adorable baby animals.

The students were used to akumatizations and ran for it. Except Marinette couldn’t just leave Alya behind to film. And she got caught in the glitter as well.

Alya picked up a baby....bunny? (What? The ears could resemble pigtails when flattened)

https://youtu.be/_v94XqFW4Qw

Somehow Tikki avoided discovery. This is terrible. With the Guardian gone, Chat Noir will be on his own! Well, Mr Bug will be on his own, because the akuma has to be purified.

After Pacifier departed with her new pets, she went to find her mother.

School resumed. Alya had permission to bring Marinette to class since her parents didn’t allow pets in the bakery and it would probably take an hour for the akuma to be defeated. Otherwise, the bakery would be shut down for a while as Tom and Sabine looked through pet care guides.

As the class cooed over Marinette, Lila scowled over the loss of attention. With Chloé gone into hiding, there was one less contender for the spot of class queen.

Rose noticed Lila hanging back. “Come give her a pet Lila. She won’t bite. Marinette is such a cute bunny, and her fur is so soft!”

Lila plastered on a relieved smile, like she was glad people think she could get close to Marinette now.

Except as soon as the bunny smelled the liar, she instinctively bit the finger.

Lila: OW!

Lila recoiled, clutching her bleeding finger.

But instead of trying to comfort her, the girls actually chided Marinette in soft tones. “No, Mari, we don’t bite people.”

Alix: Wow, even in bunny form Marinette doesn’t like Lila.

Kim: you should go to the nurse Lila.

Lila: is no one going with me?

Everyone stared at her like she was being ridiculous.

Alya: Lila, it’s not a major wound. You don’t need us to follow you around everywhere. You’ll be fine.

Mylene: maybe Marinette’s hungry?

Adrien: does anybody have snacks? I have some Camembert but I read that rabbits shouldn’t eat those.

And just like that, Lila was dismissed from their minds.

As she stared in furious disbelief, Max glanced back to remind her to go.

That’s it. Time for the rodent to go.

Lila waited until lunch before grabbing Marinette with the lunch lady’s gloves. She just caused a food fight before grabbing Marinette as everyone turned to look at the spectacle.

As Lila headed to the second floor, she intended to drop Marinette from that height on the concrete, but the class quickly noticed her absence and spread out, calling for her.

Of course someone had to notice Lila was wearing gloves.

Lila quickly claimed she was trying to get Marinette to the safety of the class. That got her some gratitude, until wrinkled noses pointed out that Marinette must have confused rubber gloves for a litter box. Said gloves were currently dripping on Lila’s favorite shoes.

Alya managed to get Marinette out of Lila’s grip before she strangled the bunny.

Maybe she should try shooting the bunny instead. People hunt bunnies right?

Nah. Too much work.

Fine, how about insisting that pets are not allowed in school? But Damocles has been turned into a baby owl and Ms Bustier was all for letting the class bond over a class pet. ...is it too late to pretend she has a late-acting allergy?

Ooh. Lila’s got it. She goes to talk to a school assistant instructing some students on how to care for their new class Chinchilla.

Lila goes up, praising him for his hard work and knowledge but also offers her sympathies for cleaning up after the animal messes. And don’t they shed too?

Unfortunately the assistant turns out to be Mylene’s father. Wasn’t he supposed to be an actor? And he calls over Mylene to tell Lila where she put the gloves and poop bags.

And as for the shed hair, even humans have hair loss.

Mylene thinks it’s wonderful of Lila to volunteer for poop duty, but she shouldn’t be surprised. The excited Mylene hands Lila her new equipment before she can protest.

Lila is furious. But she eventually makes use of an opportunity to sweep Marinette into the pan and throw her into the dumpster. Everyone else backed off when Lila suggested they take her shift, hence they didn’t see Marinette getting swept up.

Except there was no way for them not to notice Marinette was missing once Lila had gone. Suspicious, Adrien stopped Lila.

Inside the pan, they found a stinky bunny.

Lila: oops, I must have accidentally caught her.

Adrien: how do you accidentally catch a bunny when her....um...business is smaller than she is?!

Lila: I don’t watch while sweeping.

Kim: that is just plain stupid.

Mylene: aren’t you supposed to be an expert at this sort of thing?

Lila nearly squawked in outrage at the idea that being a frequent volunteer means being experienced at clean up.

Alya: maybe you better take a day off? You don’t seem to have a way with animals. You can get away because the akuma is still out.

Lila couldn’t believe it. They were actually kicking her out. She was going to protest before Rose started insisting they give Marinette a proper wash.

Lila tries to volunteer for that but Max interrupted, “Sorry Lila. But with what has already happened, you’re more likely to choke Marinette with soap than otherwise.”

He wasn’t that far off. Lila would have likely drowned the baby animal.

Lila stormed out of school. As luck would have it, she crossed the Pacifier’s path.

A sprinkle of glitter.

Where once stood a teenage girl now stood a crow fledgling. Shame how nobody was around to witness this. Lila the crow lay helpless on the ground, until the Pacifier plucked her up and dumped her into a pram stuffed with other baby animals. It was a tight squeeze, and suffocating since the baby crow was smaller than the other animals.

It took some time for Mr Bug to defeat the Pacifier, though it helped that Pacifier was distracted by the sight of a baby bunny rolling around in flour.

When the Miraculous Mr Bug was cast, Marinette found herself safe at home. Lila found herself on the street sucking on a worm.

Lila spat it out. “Ew!”

When Marinette returned to class, her friends still coddled her and pampered her, much to her bemusement. Lila just glowered from the back. She never wanted to see another baby animal ever again.

Caline: alright class, settle down! Welcome back Marinette. Since we had such fun taking care of Marinette, I thought of a fun project for home economics.

Ms Bustier moved aside to reveal hamsters in their own cages.

You have got to be kidding me! Lila thought furiously. Her assigned hamster likes to bite too.

To rub salt in the wound, Marinette and Adrien were the proud new parents of Fu the hamster.

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Things the boys canonically do in the movie that I base their personality around:

Dwayne steps away from the fight in the beginning, but immediately kicks Michael in the face in the ending battle. Messes with Sam by flying him around and pretending to be dead. But, also drives Laddie and is seen helping him onto the fountain and having Laddie sit by him during the maggot scene. Not a big talker, but is seen sitting with Paul during one scene and next to David in another.

To me, this has always read that he's not a super big fighter. It's almost like he would either not fight at all, and doesn't take fighting seriously when he does have to. At least when he's fighting a kid. And when he does have a serious threat, he just neutralizes them as soon as possible. Or maybe he just hates Michael. Either way, very driven and straight to the point kind of guy, but definitely has a weird sense of humor where he likes to mess with people. The fact that he's the main care-taker of the boys always screams to me that he has to have the most common sense/be the kindest of the boys because a) Laddie chooses to sit next to him (so Dwayne is probably even nicer to him than Star is) and b) Dwayne is a safe enough driver that Laddie can be with him and not fall off. Overall, most responsible out of the lost boys. I also wanna point out that perhaps the reason Dwayne doesn't actually fight Sam is because he's a kid, and Dwayne could potentially have a soft spot for kids. Finally, I think Dwayne is a huge introvert because he has the least amount of lines, and he's only ever seen (besides the bridge) hanging around the extraverts of the group.

David rushed to join in the fight in the beginning, but fucks with Michael after he punches him/messes with him at first in the last fight and asks him to "join us". But, runs after the Frogs/Sam in full vampire mode. How much dialogue actually belongs to David, his monologue scene, how he asks Paul for the joint, asks Marko to push his chair around, and volunteers Marko to go first on the bridge. Dwayne standing next to him in one of the scenes, and the fact that Dwayne's bike is next to his.

To me, this has always screamed that David is the most protective/most willing to fight (after Marko) of the boys. He rushes head first into any conflict the second he sees any of the boys involved/having gotten hurt. However, I don't think David blamed Michael for Markos death whatsoever. I think he solely blamed Sam and the Frogs, and, if he had convinced Michael, they would've been the ones to pay for it. Is the type of guy that only really blames those directly responsible for a conflict, and doesn't believe in guilt by association. I think David is a total extravert, simply because he and Paul are the two biggest talkers of the boys and because of how willing he is to boss others around. Also, I think David is closest to Marko, simply because the second most common name out of his mouth is Markos name. He interacts with him the most, about the same that Paul does in the movie. And the boys who are seen next to him/near him are usually Marko and Dwayne. Since he hangs out with the least talkative/introverted ones of the group, I think this just supports my theory that David is an extravert.

Paul is the one that helps Laddie down into the cave. Spends most of his fight scene talking rather than fighting, and holds Marko back in the beginning. How he protests when Michael tosses Marko. Asks Laddie to get him the rock box, and helps Dwayne lift him onto the fountain.

I think Paul is actually one of the more kinder boys, and is only second to Dwayne when it comes to taking care of Laddie/being the kindest. I will die on the hill that if Marko had been in his shoes during the fight, it might not have gone the way that it did. He's actively trying to talk Marko down in the fight at the beginning, acting as a calm voice of reason. Not to mention, even when Michael tosses Marko when going to confront David, he protests, but doesn't result to violence. He reaches his arms out, but they never land on Michael in the next scene. And instead of breaking the Frogs skulls the second he sees them, he takes away their weapons, takes time to threaten/scare, and doesn't even use his strength against them. This man can rip a door off of a car, but it looks like he's struggling against holding off both Frogs. Basically, I think he's not a fighter, and, even if he's pissed about what they did to Marko, he's showing hesitance/that he's stalling. Even when he says "you're mine", it just seems like an emotional response and/or a scare tactic. And the fact that he takes time to push them and say "no, you're next"? Major stalling vibes, but maybe he's also just a himbo that will take any opportunity to talk. The only time Paul grabs them is when the Frogs rush him, and even then he could've just let them come close and have sunk his teeth into one of them. I think that he planned more on scaring them more than anything, but was mostly either supposed to or was going to stall until all of the boys had regrouped and David could decide what to do with the Frogs/Sam. I'm not going to make a case for Paul being an extravert, because if you watch any scene with him I think it's pretty obvious.

Is one of the only active participants of the first fight, yet how he looks at Paul when he pushes him. Immediately goes off on his own/away from the others to go hang out with his birds. Never talks to Star/doesn't offer her any food. Is willing to go get the food by himself, and interacts with David/Paul the most. How he is nearly constantly watching Michael.

Most easily angered, most willing to result to violence. He literally has to be held back by Paul on the carousel scene, otherwise we don't know how far he would actually go in a situation like that. However, when pushed by Paul, he gives him a quick smile/smirk before starting his bike and resuming watching Michael. To me, this shows that rough behavior may not just be an angry thing for Marko. Perhaps, being a rougher/angrier person, play fighting can also be a way he shows/receives affection. The way he is nearly constantly watching/observing Michael and stands behind David's chair speaks to me that maybe Marko is more centralized to the group than previously thought. It can be interpreted that Marko is either always planning/scheming, or maybe he's waiting for Michael to slip up. Both can be supported by the way Marko taunts Michael. The way he distances himself from the group in the beginning makes me think that he's more introverted, with the only other member of the group doing anything like that being Dwayne. He's even fine to go get food by himself, when I know in most friend group settings at least one person would've offered to go with him, unless he preferred to go alone. He also doesn't interact with Star at all, and doesn't even offer her food. This makes me think that their relationship is strained at best, for reasons unknown, or that perhaps Marko is simply just quieter/more choosy with his inner circle than an extravert (David) would be.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 48 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

This has two locked chapters that I couldn’t unlock. (I should really go back to lesson 20 and start unlocking all the locked chapters)

Diavolo pulls MC and Levi aside and tells them he’s asked Lucifer out on countless Karaoke dates only for Lucifer to come up with countless different excuses even though he goes out for karaoke with the brothers. Levi says it’s rare but yeah.  Diavolo is really happy, saying his dream has finally come true now that he’s at a karaoke bar with Lucifer, Lucifer seems really upset (probably shouldn’t put someone’s family in danger while you’re trying to ask them out on a date just saying). Levi drags MC aside and says “hey, scary thought but uhhhhhhh do you think Diavolo set this all up? Cause if so that’s actually completely insane right?” and MC goes, “yeah lol you just caught up to it now?” while Diavolo goes “I can’t wait for you to sing for me Lucifer <3” pls sir reign it in. Lucifer says he’s not a good singer so to keep their expectations low. Levi mumbles about how that’s bs and how Lucifer’s just good at everything to the point that Levi almost hates him for it. Diavolo is pumped until crowe accidentally hits the erase button and Lucifer disappears before he can even start. Diavolo wails in despair. Levi catches on to the fact that all of this is actually technology at work and not magic.

Diavolo, back to being giggly, volunteers to go next cause he can’t let MC or Levi do so. Levi protests saying Lucifer volunteered to keep Diavolo away from it in the first place and that even though they shouldn’t let MC go Levi as Diavolo’s subject should go next. Levi says that if he lets anything happen to Diavolo while he can prevent it Lucifer & Barbatos would kill him. Diavolo laughs and says if he lets anything happen to Lucifer’s little brother while he can prevent it Lucifer would kill him. Levi asks if he’s being serious and Diavolo says he is and that he was waiting for a chance to sing. Levi gets pissed off and says this is why he can’t stand Diavolo and Diavolo’s surprised and holy shit give us a therapy session I want them to be friends? They’re both so lonely and in desperate need of friends and Diavolo’s dorky enough that if Levi opens up they’ll actually make a set of odd but good friends and plssss Levi says the way Diavolo always puts others before himself, how he’s just and fair and how he never does anything bad irritates Levi cause it makes him hate himself even more and just makes him miserable (AND HOLY SHIT!?). Diavolo is surprised and asks if that’s how levi really feels and levi blushes and snaps yes. Diavolo smile and shakes his head and says “So you hate yourself even when your humility is one of your best traits?” Diavolo says Levi spends too much time comparing himself to others and that he shouldn’t cause it’s a waste when he’s an amazing person in his own right (and holy shit diavolo!?). Levi blushes and stutters and starts denying it. And Diavolo says that his problem is that he always starts sentences with a “I’m nothing but a…” and that Levi is the one making himself miserable (and damn Diavolo no need to call me the fuck out like that lol I’m in pain). Diavolo brings up the time Satan and Lucifer switched bodies and went into Levi’s game, saying it was Levi’s idea that helped them put aside their initial beef and work toward a common goal and that no one but Levi could have done that, when Levi starts denying that he brings up the costumes Levi made for the festival and how they helped make the festival a success – Levi says he flooded the house the day before and ruined the costumes but MC agrees with Diavolo either a.) telling levi to have confidence in himself or b.) that he’s fine the way he is. Levi disagrees and says he’s a disgrace and MC either says they 1.) love him the way he is 2.) that he isn’t a disgrace. For 2.) he disagrees and while blushing says he wishes he could disappear rn. 1.) Levi blushes and growls and says it’s hard to disagree when MC says things like that but he also thanks them and says he loves them too and that he appreciates them saying that to him and that’s why he wants to learn to take pride in himself so that they could love him more (this is probably one of the first ‘I love yous’ that can be taken as either romantic or platonic and it makes me really happy. Levi tries to sing next despite Diavolo’s protests but Crowe says their time ran out and picks out the next song and singer at random: Diavolo.

Diavolo gets a score of 100 and vanishes. Crowe congratulates MC & Levi cause they can now leave. MC says this isn’t a joke and Levi agrees saying what’s the point of leaving if the others aren’t safe. Levi makes a deal with Crowe saying if he sings and gets a score of 100 Crowe must bring everyone back, he then gets pissed off and yells at Crowe saying that  he’s no friend and that he wants his brothers and his friend – Diavolo back (Don’t mind me just crying in the corner here). MC asks if they can both sing together and Levi’s happy saying an anime medley between the both of them would guarantee 100.  The others all wake up back home at night, not really knowing what happened and pls tell me MC and Levi didn’t lug 7 unconscious grown men – more than half of whom would be 6 feet and over - all the way home together awdjjkfifjijcdn their backs would have broken also wtf would people have thought when you take multiple trips to drag 7 unconscious gorgeous men - who probably look like they’ve just finished being tortured - off with you somewhere!? Levi and MC are probably on some watch list now wtfffff. Asmo asks if the karaoke and all exciting punishments were a dream while Lucifer calls it nightmarish. MC tells them all what happened, Levi has gone straight to his room to finish his event. Barbatos calls Diavolo after leaving 200 missed calls on Lucifer’s phone. MC goes up to check on Levi.

Levi doesn’t notice MC come in and they tell him not to worry cause they said the secret phrase Levi laughs it off and says MC’s a special case who’s been chosen and can enter without the phrase. they ask him how his game’s going. Levi says he’s worn out from earlier and not in the mood for the event rn. MC can either stroke his head or offer to go make some tea. He blushes and says he’s not a child but gives them permission. He says he’s been thinking about what Diavolo said to him. He says he always unconsciously compares himself to others and wonders why he does that, MC says they like him the way he is and he blushes and thanks them saying that when they say that he can believe it cause it doesn’t sound like they’re saying it out of pity. Levi says he knows one reason he compares himself to others and that it’s cause he thinks without a game or an anime MC would leave him behind to hang out with the others and he asks them to tell him they’ll stay with him even if it’s just for the time being. MC says it won’t be just for now. Levi says that just hearing that gives him hope that he’ll learn to like himself (I need MC in my life is2g). Diavolo texts MC saying he wants to talk before he leaves, and MC tells him to wait a bit longer cause if you don’t blow off the ruler of an entire dimension to hang out with your sad friend then what kinda friend are you!? Levi jokes about asking Crowe to trap them in the room until MC scores the highest in a game they aren’t good at but tells them to go. MC can either hug or kiss him. He blushes and tells them to go before he changes his mind and thanks them for everything.

Satan’s watching new cat videos under #FrolickingWithADuck & #FriendsWithAHamster. Asmo asks for something sexier. Asmo and Beel are both sad about missing their appointments and Lucifer tells MC Diavolo’s out by the pool, he then looks sad for a second and calls MC back but then says it doesn’t matter and tells them to hurry and come inside cause it’s cold out. Diavolo’s outside happily looking at the stars and MC asks if he enjoys stargazing. He says he could look at them forever and that Barbatos called him and kept apologizing over and over again and that he had to work hard to stifle his laughter and act mad. He asks how Levi is doing and when MC tells him he says Levi’s the hero who saved them all and he should be in a good mood. MC asks him what he wanted to talk about, he tells MC that he always wants to be honest with them and that he was behind the whole karaoke thing.

He tells them he didn’t do it outta malice and they say they know. He says initially it was an accident but then he realised where exactly he ended up and how crowe had said they had special challenge room and he couldn’t help himself. He asks MC if they’re angry. They’re angry, in both options MC’s pissed off. He says the way they’re looking at him now is unbearable and that after the brothers left he was lonely and kept getting reminded of what it was like before they Fell and how we just wanted to relax and enjoy something with them. He says he knows it’s childish and silly but after seeing how much fun the brothers were having in the RPG he felt jealous. MC can ask him who exactly he was jealous of or tease him how even an heir to an entire dimension can get jealous. He says he was jealous of the brothers getting to hand out with MC and this is what I mean when I say the side characters having romantic feelings for MC in the main storyline doesn’t fully make sense. Cause yeah sure he would’ve been jealous of the brothers being able to just hang out and play with MC but he’d also be jealous of MC being able to fit in so seamlessly with the brothers something that they’ve shown Diavolo wanting since S1. He asks if MC can forgive him and they agree. He says he was more nervous admitting this to MC than he would’ve been admitting it to Lucifer and that he always has fun with MC and feels happy yet nervous around them and that he truly adores them. I just want MC to have close platonic friends pls I desperately need MC and Diavolo to have a strong close friendship where Diavolo pines about how great Lucifer is and MC rolls their eyes constantly cause they live with the guy and he’s a major grade A douche but they’re still willing to listen and play wingman and if Solmare doesn’t give it to me I’m just gonna have to do it myself and write that shit

There’s a bright light and MC is stopped from jumping into the pool and drowning themself to get out of this situation by a snotty Barbatos turning up. MC can either scold Barbatos for what happened or ask if he’s alright. He says he’s fine but then lists all the symptoms of the flu so really he’s lying. Barbatos keeps apologising to Diavolo and MC and Lucifer who’s apparently being eavesdropping the whole time :)))))))))) Diavolo’s shocked and goes to ask Lucifer how long he’s being there but is interrupted by Barbatos sneezing. Lucifer takes the distraction and starts fretting over Barbatos and trying to send him back home and Diavolo takes the lead and follows him. No clue what MC’s doing but I’m guessing they’re eyeing the pool and revisiting that drowning option. Diavolo & Barbatos say their goodbyes and leave. Lucifer tries to make small talk about Barbatos being sick but MC immediately cuts him off to call him out about eavesdropping. He deflects and starts talking about the weather. MC can either let him get away with it and walk back inside or take his hand and use the power of puppy dog eyes to make him say he wasn’t eavesdropping and just waiting for a time to cut in…sure…okay. When they come back the entire living room is flooded and this what Lucifer says word for word “What…did the Earth’s crust temporarily deform beneath just this one house, sending it plummeting to the ocean floor and back again?” and I dunno why but that had me in tears. Mammon & Asmo blame each other, Beel says Levi summoned Lotan. Levi tries to defend himself but Lucifer, while smiling, says he’s a compassionate and kind person so they each get to choose their own punishment and Mammon goes to ask why Lucifer’s more pissed than usual and what’s got his panties in a bunch but is cut off by a scream. While Lucifer tortures his brothers MC thinks back to what Diavolo told them.

In the morning Asmo and Mammon gush over electronic kitchen appliances and Levi tells them not to get used to them. Belphie and Satan argue about having the tv on during breakfast until Satan notices Diavolo and Barbatos on tv instantly causing Lucifer to start choking on his food (and pls dear god doesn’t this man go through enough!?) The news is talking about Corvo the world’s leading hotel chain and its mysterious owner, which just finished its 8th hotel in the county – Corvo Lagoon View. MC goes um wtf is happening rn? And lucifer says god would I like to know. Diavolo bursts in, happy that their segment is being aired already and Barbatos says it’s to be accepted given how the whole of high society is talking about it. When Lucifer asks what’s going on Diavolo says that he used Barbatos’ mistake to blackmail him into allowing Diavolo come and stay in the human realm. Corvo is revealed to be run by the three-legged crow. Diavolo also says he forgot to tell something to MC yesterday and MC has a panicked flashback to yesterday’s conversation while Lucifer sits silently and avoids eye contact. MC: NOW!? HERE!? IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!? Diavolo: YEAH! :D Diavolo takes MC’s hand and gives them a star and MC almost passes out in relief, Lucifer though we don’t see him has definitely passed out.

[ethereal-bang]

Stormy Night

Authors Note: Hey guys!! It’s finally here, my first fic to post! AANNND ITS SEUNGMIN SMUT YOU’RE WELCOME this probably seems very rough and rushed and I’m sorry lol it’s my first time writing smut and my first time in a few years writing a fic, but I’m really happy with it!

Characters: Seungmin x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.3k (oops lol) 

Type: Friends to Lovers, An equal amount of fluff as there is smut “There’s enough room on the bed for both of us”, somewhat of a buildup

This piece of fiction is intended for adult audiences, 18+ ONLY 

Watching the rain as it hits the windshield, a mild feeling of panic starts to wash over you. The storm was getting bad, and it would be getting dark pretty soon. Looking back on it, maybe taking the 18 hour road trip home with Seungmin wasn’t the smartest idea you’d had. You were nearly half way there, so close but so far to your hometown, where you insisted--no, begged for Seungmin to come with you due to a family wedding that you wanted no part in, but were obligated to be at. Not to mention, your cousins had been pestering you about when you were finally going to bring a plus one to such important family gatherings.

“So Y/N,” your cousin started, and you immediately feel a little panic set in, knowing where this was going. “Is your boyfriend coming with you to Jennie’s wedding? I mean..you do have a boyfriend, right?” You can hear the smirk in her voice over the phone, asking about the wedding that you would be attending this weekend. Every time one of these events take place, she’s always there to make fun of your relationship-- or lack thereof. Searching around the room as you try to think of an excuse, your eyes land on your best friend, Seungmin, who is sitting on the couch watching some drama he had turned on when your cousin called. An idea forming, you slowly smile. “Actually..yes. I am bringing my boyfriend with me.” At your words, Seungmin’s ears perk up and he turns to look at you. Eyes going wide, he immediately catches onto your plan, mouthing words of protest at you as you try to wave him off. “Yes. We will make sure to be there by noon. Okay, I’ve gotta go, I’ll talk to you later bye!” You tell your cousin, quickly getting her off the phone as Seungmin has now stood up and was making his way towards you. 

Hanging up the phone, Seungmin looks at you like you're crazy. “No.” He says quickly, not letting you get a word in edgewise. “No. I am NOT going to play boyfriend at this wedding. Please don’t make me do it,” he pleads, eyes going wide. “Seungmiiiinnnn,” you whine, “it’ll only be for a weekend, please just hear me out!” you beg. He shakes his head in resistance and you groan, throwing yourself onto the couch. “Pleeease. I’ll do anything!” At this, he stops. “Anything?” You nod at him, looking hopeful. “Do my biology homework for a week and you’ve got yourself a deal.” You smile at him, surprise taking over your features. “Done.” you beam, and he groans, not thinking you would actually agree. 

And that was how you got here, Seungmin volunteering to drive the first half of the way. However, you weren’t expecting the rain to hit as hard as it was. Sensing you were a tad bit anxious at the growing storm, Seungmin takes a hand off the steering wheel and places it on your thigh. You really wish he wouldn’t do that.

It’s no secret that your best friend is attractive. Seungmin is a traditionally handsome kinda guy-- brown, soft hair, big chocolate eyes that scrunch at the corners when he smiles and a laugh that can brighten anyone’s day. You take a second to appreciate said features, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the blush making its way to your cheeks and focusing on the road instead.

Yeah...so maybe you have a thing for your best friend. No big deal.

A loud crack of thunder pulls you out of your trance, and it starts to rain even harder, if that was even possible. “Seungmin..” you start, voice small, “maybe we should stop somewhere, just until the rain calms down a little.” Your eyes are drawn to a road marker: “LODGING: EXIT 15 (1.5 miles)” Pointing it out to Seungmin, he nods and keeps an eye out for the next exit, which should be quickly approaching. “You’re right, man who would’ve thought it would rain this bad..” he says, trying to keep the car on the road despite the rain making it hard to see.

Soon enough, you see the neon lights of a hotel come into view. Seungmin, sighing with relief now that he won’t be driving in the dangerous weather, pulls into the parking lot. “You stay here, I’ll head inside and get us a room,” He says, undoing his seatbelt and pulling the hood on his jacket tight. You nod in response, watching him jog through the parking lot and into the lobby. You focus on the sounds of the rain, now oddly calming as you know you’re not going to be in it. Really, you were just worried about this wedding, wanting it to go well and hope that no one will see through the little act you’re about to put on with your best friend. 

A few minutes later, Seungmin runs back out to the car. Brandishing a key on a little feather chain, he smiles at you. “Got the room, let’s go on up.” You grab your backpacks that were sitting in the back seat, and follow Seungmin to the room. Upon opening the door, you take a look around at the place you’ll call home for the night. A patterned rug, wall lights soft but warm which make the room feel oddly cozy, and dark red curtains make you laugh, feeling comfort in the very stereotypical decor. That is, until your eyes fall on the bed.

That’s right, the bed. One bed. For the two of you.

Now, you’ve had sleepovers with Seungmin plenty of times, memories of all nighters before finals and drunken celebrations crossing your mind. However, when he stayed over you almost always ended up falling asleep on the couch; TV playing a movie that eventually neither of you could keep your minds focused on, too occupied with the idea of sweet sweet sleep. Your back might have hated you for not sleeping in your own bed, but waking up on the couch with Seungmin’s head resting atop yours was something you’ll always find comfort in; his hair tickling your forehead as you take in your surroundings. 

“Only one bed?” You ask him, feeling a little nervous. “Yeah, it was all they had left..I can sleep on the floor if you want me to, it’s no big deal.” He shrugs as he sets his bag down on the table near the front door. The idea of him sleeping on a hotel carpet does not sit well with you, thinking of how many people have been through this room and questioning just what has went down here. “No no it’s okay. I don’t want you sleeping on the floor. There’s enough room on the bed for the both of us “ You say, trying to hide the nervous tint in your voice. “Are you sure?” He asks and you nod your head, not wanting your voice to betray you. Shrugging his shoulders, Seungmin announces that he’s going to take a shower, feeling gross after being in the car since the early hours of the morning and being caught in the rain. 

You get comfortable in the hotel room, setting your things down and getting ready to let sleep take you over. While laying in the bed, as close to one side as you possibly can, you scroll through your social media as Seungmin finally makes his way out of the bathroom. Glancing up  at him from your screen, you hold back a gasp as you take in the way he looks: Hair still a little wet, a fresh tshirt that fits his arms just right and his grey sweatpants sitting a little low on his hips making you want to lift his shirt and kiss the exposed skin. Your mind goes absolutely insane as you try to push the thoughts away, wanting to get some sleep. 

Picking up the covers, Seungmin slides in next to you and chuckles about how apprehensive you seem. “You know, Y/N, you’re almost falling off the bed. You don’t have to be so far away.” he says, getting under the covers and making himself comfy. “No, really, I’m alright,” you lie to him, wanting to maintain your distance otherwise your sanity will slowly chip away. Even with the small distance in between you, you can smell the cinnamon of his body wash, one that you’ve definitely used on the occasional chance that you’ve stayed at his apartment. The scent is almost intoxicating, because it’s just purely..Seungmin. “Okay, suit yourself. Try and get some sleep, I set an alarm for the morning so we’ll be fine,” he says, punctuating his sentence with a yawn. You set your phone down on the side table and turn off the lamp, closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep, willing away dreams of the boy who is snoring peacefully next to you. (Seriously? How did he fall asleep so fast?)

You almost had a peaceful sleep. Almost.

You’re unsure how much time has passed, but your slumber was rudely interrupted by a very bright strike of lightning, loud thunder following not too close behind. The sound made you wake in a panic, heart racing and sitting straight up in bed. Once you realized what was happening you lay back down, trying to relax yourself back to sleep.

It wasn’t working. The lightning and thunder continued, and for some reason you just cannot bring your brain to calm down enough. Tossing and turning, you’re thankful that the darkness can hide the blush on your cheeks as you take in Seungmin’s sleeping form. His mouth is partially open, soft snores emitting from it and making you smile. His hair has dried, fluffy and falling into his eyes where his lashes cast a delicate shadow onto his cheeks. 

Another crack of thunder makes you jump, and this time it was loud enough to make Seungmin stir too. Afraid he would wake up and catch you staring at him, you quickly shut your eyes, pretending to be asleep and praying that your best friend wouldn’t be able to hear your heart pounding in your chest. 

You hear Seungmin take in a deep breath, and he scoots a little closer to you. “I know you’re awake,” you hear him say, and the gentle yet sleepy tone makes you open your eyes, even though you were desperately trying to get yourself to fall asleep. Taking a look at him, you try to hide the fact that you’re a little flustered, but that isn’t easy as Seungmin reaches across the space in between you and pulls you into his chest. If he couldn’t hear your heart beating before, he should be able to feel it by now, but sure enough you relaxed in his hold, as if you were made for his arms to be wrapped around you. Seungmin runs his fingers through your hair in a slightly comforting gesture. “Thunderstorm keeping you up?” He asks quietly, and you nod your head. “It’s gotten worse. I hope it lets up before we have to leave…” you trail off, and Seungmin just shushes you, the patterns he’s drawing on his scalp slowing to a stop as he holds you.

Taking a chance, you look up at your best friend, nose touching his chin as he lays there with his eyes closed. Sensing your stare, he pulls away a little and looks at you, and that’s when you see it. Something is there, but you’re not quite able to make it out.

That is, until suddenly Seungmin is leaning down towards you, face coming closer slowly as if to gauge your reaction. Taking the plunge, you meet him halfway in a searing kiss, one that you did not expect to come from him right now, or ever.

You were always positive that your feelings for Seungmin were unrequited, looking for signs that he may have even the littlest bit of feelings for you over the years. Maybe you’re just oblivious, but all of those thoughts fly out the window at the feeling of his lips on yours, the hand that was once on your waist now on your cheek, his other hand still in your hair.

You stay like that for a few minutes, just kissing, enjoying the fact that you’re both finally getting what you wanted. You’re the first one to pull away, out of breath and absolutely smitten.

“You,” Seungmin starts, a shy smile on his lips as he looks at your pink cheeks, “have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for,” he confesses, and it makes you smile. “Well, why’d you stop?” you tease and pull him back down for another kiss.

The first kiss was gentle, loving, sweet. Everything you ever expected of Kim Seungmin. The second kiss, however, turned into something deeper, more sensual and passionate as you swiped your tongue along his bottom lip, him granting you access but immediately fighting you for dominance. You let him win, giving into the feelings that were slowly forming in the pit of your stomach. His hold on you tightens, and he pushes you into the mattress, hovering over you while still driving you absolutely insane. His hands move under your shirt, the brunette tracing circles on your hip bones that automatically start a fire inside of you. His kisses move down to your neck, biting on a spot between your neck and your collarbone which elicits a small groan of his name from your mouth.

“Fuck,” he says under his breath, the noise you made clearly affecting him. He pushes his hands farther up your shirt and looks at you for permission. “Can I?” he asks, and you simply nod your head, raising your arms to help him get you out of your shirt. 

Being in front of Seungmin in this way was totally new-- the most he’s ever seen of you is in a bikini, and even then you wore a tshirt over it more often than not. You go to cover yourself but Seungmin moves your arms away and his lips immediately attach to your chest, making eye contact with you as his tongue runs across your nipple. Seungmin seems to be spurred on by the noises you’re making, running his hands up and down your sides, going lower each time but refusing to put his hands where you really want them. He pulls away for a quick moment, and you whine at the loss of contact. Seungmin sits up, a chuckle falling from his lips as he takes off his own tshirt, and you can’t help but stare at the lithe body that’s presented before you. You’ve always known he was in shape, but watching his muscles flex with each movement he makes suddenly makes you very impatient. 

Suddenly he’s back on you, lips traveling farther down to your core and the knot in your stomach tightens a little bit more with each kiss he leaves on your body. “You,” he begins, “are the most. Beautiful. Woman. I. have. Ever. seen.” he accentuates each word with a kiss, starting at your ribcage and ending on your inner thighs. His lips are ghosting your core, opting to continue the sweet kisses on your inner thighs. “Seungmin..please,” you whine out, a hand moving down to grip his hair. “What do you want, baby? I need you to use your words,” he says with a smirk on his face. 

“Seungmin please. I need your tongue, your fingers, fuck anything just...touch me. Please,” you beg him. Happy to hear your breathy moans, he finally slips off your sleep shorts and your underwear at once, running a finger through your folds. “So, so pretty,” he says in amazement, reveling in the fact that you’re soaked, and it’s all for him. 

Seungmin begins placing soft kitten licks to your clit, the feeling making you want to roll your eyes into the back of your head. Instead you opt to watch him, his eyes completely blown with lust as he adds a finger to the mix. Looking up at you to gauge your reaction, Seungmin is more than happy with what he sees. Your eyes have gone dark, trying not to throw your head back in pleasure because you want to watch as he slowly has you falling apart around him. 

The feeling of his finger inside you makes you whimper. It’s nice, but it’s nowhere near enough. “Seungmin..please stop teasing,” you beg him. He looks up at you questioningly. “Nu uh baby, I have to get you ready for me,” “I am ready for you, Seungmin, God please-- just fuck me,”

Hearing the absolute desperation in your voice, he decides to grant you mercy, removing his fingers and pulling your legs up a little higher. “You sure?” he asks once more, looking for your consent before you cross a boundary that the two of you will never be able to come back from. You pull him down to you for a kiss, hoping that he can feel all of the emotions you’re pouring into it. “Seungmin, I want you. In every sense of the word. I have never been so sure about something,” you say. With a gentle smile on his lips, he leans back to pull down his sweatpants, cock springing up against his stomach. You feel your heart begin to beat even faster-- as if that was possible-- knowing what was coming.

Seungmin runs the head of his cock in between your folds, something that has you keening with pleasure and excitement. Leaning close to you, he takes your hand in his, and uses his free hand to guide his cock into your entrance. Seungmin lets out a deep groan that mirrors your own, getting lost in the feeling of how tight you feel around him. The stretch stings for just a moment, but is soon replaced with a feeling of absolute euphoria. It’s like Seungmin was made for you; feeling absolutely full once he bottoms out. He stays like that for a moment or two, letting you get adjusted to the feeling as he peppers kisses on your neck, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You wiggle your hips just a bit, and Seungmin gets the hint. Slowly pulling out, you moan at the feeling of him inside you. He picks up a steady pace, not too fast but not agonizingly slow. 

The only sounds that can be heard in the room are skin slapping, and your moans mixed with Seungmin’s quieter noises as well. “F-fuck,” he stutters, hips starting to move faster, hitting you harder and looking for your gspot. “S-seungmin dont..d-dont stop,” you say, the knot in your stomach turning white hot as he continued.

Seungmin leans in closer to you, your legs pushed up against your chest and the position has you seeing stars. Feeling your wall clench around him, one of Seungmin’s hands travels down to your clit, rubbing fast circles. His high was approaching too, but he wanted to make sure that you came before he did. “Oh my god,” you breathe out as the knot in your stomach finally snaps, vision going white and the only thing coming from your mouth is Seungmin’s name, repeated like a mantra that you would live by your entire life. Not even seconds later Seungmin’s orgasm comes, triggered by your wall tightening around him. You feel him fill you completely, a soft moan let out as you both finally come down from your highs.

Pulling out and laying back down beside you, Seungmin pulls you close to him once again. “I meant what I said, you know. About wanting you. I do. All of the time,” you quietly say, still a little out of breath and your cheeks flushing pink. Throwing his arm over your waist, he presses a kiss to your cheek. “I know. I want you too, always. Y/N, would you do me the honors and be my actual girlfriend?” He asks, looking you in the eyes. You smile softly, leaning into kiss him once more.

“Absolutely,” you say, right before sleep takes you, the thunderstorm completely forgotten.

 _______________________________________________________________

A/N: Hey! If you’ve made it this far, make sure you like/reblog/give me any kind of feedback! I really hope you guys like it!!

Also my requests ARE OPEN so if you have anything you wanna send in, feel free to do so!!!

[daydreamingsora-fics]

YOSHAAAAAA!!! I’M A THRIST MAMA READER ABOUT INARIZAKI WHICH BY THE WAY I LOVE UR RECENT HCS! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! can i request another inarizaki related?👉👈🥺 a one-shot will do about full of crack and plantonic relationship! It’s about 3rd years’ graduation!

◣ sora’s memo◥  Thank you uwu, I’m glad that you enjoyed my previous hcs. This is actually longer than I expected lmao. I also added some slight angst because I feel angsty the time I wrote this but that’s only a little angst, if your squint you’ll see it. Anyways here’s your request! I hope that you’ll like it and will enjoy uwu. Stay safe and take care always my loves~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

Our last bonding together

word count: 3,534 words

genre: fluff, crack, and slight angst

⚠warning⚠: slight swearing and UNEDITED

Today will be the last day that Kita and his fellow third year teammates would be having a lunch with the whole team. This would be also the last time that Kita will be giving advice to the team as their captain. The role of being the captain will be pass down to Atsumu. The other teammates were worried at first but when Kita told them the reason why Atsumu was chosen to be the captain made the team at ease.  Kita believes in Atsumu’s potential as a captain which made the blonde boy more relaxed.

Tomorrow is the graduation of the 3rd years, so technically, tomorrow is their last day with the team but you being their manager you requested a lunch with the team today to celebrate their graduation and also bond with the third years before they part ways. And you being the manager that they all precious, (even Suna but he is just lowkey) agreed to your request but they have a condition (mostly it’s Atsumu). The get together will be on your house and you will cook for their lunch. Osamu volunteered to help you so he could improve and learn some tips from you in cooking. Since your house has a large backyard and also had this ‘outdoor kitchen’, you happily agree to their condition.

So now, here you are in the know preparing the ingredients you need for the foods you will be cooking, you also have received a message from Osamu that he and his twin are almost there in your house. So, you quickly the vegetables you need and started to cook the rice. More minutes passed by, with you chopping the vegetables, you’ve got another text from Osamu that they are already in front of your house. You washed your hands and went back inside your so you could go to the front of the house. When you opened the gate and saw the gray and blonde headed twin standing outside. Osamu is wearing the red track jacket of the team and under the jacket is a plain black shirt paired with a pale blue ripped jeans and a black high cute converse while his twin brother, Atsumu, is wearing a plain white shirt under his track jacket and it is paired with a black ripped jeans and white shoes.

“Hey, y/n! wassup”

“good morning, y/n, I brought the other ingredients you needed”

The twins greeted you when you have opened the gate and Osamu showed the plastic filled with the ingredients you have texted to him to buy on the way.

“Hi guys! Welcome to our family’s house and thank you, Osamu” you welcomed them and made way for them to enter. The twins went inside your house and as soon as they entered, they were fascinated with the interior and on how huge your house is.

“Wow, y/n, you never told us that you have this huge house” Atsumu said as he roams his eyes around the living room of your house. You chuckled at his reaction while Osamu rolled his eyes on his twin brother’s remarks.

“Well you’ve never asked me though” you answered making the blonde boy scrunch his nose with your answer. Osamu looks around your house and noticed that he has not seen your parents or anyone around the house except but you.

“Where are your parents?” the gray-haired boy asked you.

“My parents is at work today whule my older brother lives in his dorm in Tokyo then my other older brother is staying over with his friend today” you explained making the twins nod their heads.

“How about maids? Don’t you guys have maids?” Atsumu asked out of curiosity. You shook your head as answer to his question.

“My parents don’t want to hire maids because they want us to learn to do the house chores and not rely on other people to do it, so when do general cleaning, it’s like the death of us” you explained.

“well that’s kind of brutal but at the same time good for practicing independency” Atsumu commented.

“So where are we gonna eat our lunch?” Osamu said as he noticed that the inside kitchen is clean and there are no plates on the table in the dining area.

“We will eat our lunch on our backyard.” You answered the boy as you lead the way to the door that will make you three go to the backyard of the house.

“Where do you cook?” he questioned again.

“There’s a kitchen outside” you said which left the twins amazed, especially Osamu. He wished he could have two kitchens, that would be his paradise. With your lead, the three of you have reached the backyard of the house. You and Osamu went straight to the outdoor kitchen while Atsumu roamed around as he is so impressed with how wide your backyard is.

“WOW Y/N! YOUR BACKYARD IS HUGE!” Atsumu commented as he run around the backyard like when Rapunzel first timed to leave her tower. Osamu hummed as an agreement to his twin’s statement.

“Yeah, Y/N your backyard is huge even this kitchen.” He complimented the interior of the house, making you smile. “If ever I would have a kitchen like this, it will be heaven” Osamu joked making you chuckled and just shook your head with the twins’ fascination on your backyard and outdoor kitchen. Either more, you and Osamu started to cook and prepare for the lunch while Atsumu is still acting like a child and continued running around the backyard. You and Osamu started cooking for the team’s lunch while Atsumu explores your backyard, he also plays the role of the taste tester.

Soon, the member of the team started texting you as they have arrived r your house, you told Atsumu to open the gate for them and lead them to the backyard. Osamu is setting the table while you are doing the finishing touches of the food. You now hear the noises of boys talking to each other and being fascinated by the house and backyard. You now put the last food you and Osamu cooked on the huge and long picnic table.

“Woah, that’s a lot of food!” Akagi was astonished when he saw the foods on the table. You and Osamu greeted the whole team and they greeted you back.

“Suna, suna, look how big y/n’s backyard, we can play volleyball here!” Atsumu said as he run across the yard while Suna follows Atsumu with his eyes and stood beside you.

“Yeah, you have a big house, Y/n” Suna complimented as he roams his gray narrow eyes. You just laugh it off the comment and said a shy thank you. This is actually your first-time inviting friends in your ever since your 1st year of middle school. You never invited your friends or classmates in middle school but since the whole Inarizaki volleyball club is precious to you, you gladly invited them to your house.

“by the way, Y/N, where are your parents?” Kita asked you, making you to look at the captain from your back.

“oh, they are at work, Kita-san” you answered and the boy just nodded.

“well, let’s now eat these foods before it gets cold” Kita stated as he took a seat on the table while the other followed their captain. You called for Atsumu and Ojiro, who’s roaming around the backyard, and told them it’s time to eat. The two immediately went back to the long table and took their seat.

“Thank you for the food!” everyone thanked and they started digging in to the foods while you observe their reaction as the they take a bite to the foods you cooked. Even though you had made them a bento box before, you’re still nervous to what would be their reaction with your cooking now.

“this curry taste good!”

“hmm! You’re really good at cooking, y/n-san!” the team complimented. This made you feel relieved, knowing the whole team liked your cooking.

“Well, I wouldn’t be able to finish cooking these foods without the help Osamu” you acknowledge the gray headed man, who’s busy eating beside you. Osamu looked at you and gave you a soft smile which made you blush a little.

“I’m glad I could help you, Y/N-san” he winked at you that made you blush even more, if that could even happen, and this made his other teammates ‘ooh’-ed. Osamu rarely flirts with you, it’s mostly Atsumu who always gives cheesy lines that’s why you’re not used to it if Osamu flirted with you.

“Osamu, you’re such a flirt!” Atsumu commented at his twin’s remarks.

“So, what did Atsumu do here in your house? Did he help you guys?” Aran questioned you both Osamu.

“He didn’t do anything” Osamu bluntly answered Aran’s question which made the whole team let out “knew it” like they’ve expected it from Atsumu.

“HEY! I helped you guys, I brought out the things you need that was left inside the house” his twin brother protested as soon he heard Osamu’s answer. “I even grilled the yakitori and yakiniku” he added which made you shook your head as a denial.

“you put the yakitori and yakiniku on the grill the left!” you complained while the whole team watches as you and Osamu teams up against Atsumu.

“Oh, that’s why the other yakitori and yainiku look slightly burned” Ginijima sudden realization as he looks at the grilled chicken meat, pork and beef.

“Yeah! after putting them on the griller, he left and started roaming around the backyard again” you affirmed making Atsumu whined.

“Yah, Suna backed me up here” Atsumu calls Suna, who’s enjoying the tempura. Suna just gave him a glance and continued eating.

“You’re alone there, Atsumu” he said and took another bite of tempura making you chuckled.

“Atsumu, you should have helped Y/N and Osamu” Kita spoke making Atsumu looked at him with disbelief while you just chuckled.

For the whole time, you and the whole member of the club ate lunch and joke around each other. Suna always roast Atsumu whenever the blonde guy tries to say a joke and Osamu sometimes join Suna in roasting his twin brother which could lead to an argument with the two. When they sense the twin would start arguing, Kita will interfere and the twins would immediately stop.

After eating lunch, the other members went to the backyard and they started playing and chasing each other, while you were left behind to put the dishes on the sink. Osamu and Kita volunteered to help you in washing the dishes and cleaning up. You happily accepted their offer and assigned Osamu in washing the dishes then Kita on cleaning the table up while you dry the dishes.

After cleaning up, the three of you joined them who’s now playing dodgeball. The three of you stood beside Ginjima and Riseki, and watch Suna and Aran teaming up to make Atsumu lose the game.

“Why are you guys only targeting me?! hit Akagi-san too!” he complained as he kept on dodging the ball while Akagi is just following Atsumu goes back and forth.

“Our goal is to make you out of the game first, but–“ Suna halted then threw the ball to Akagi, catching the boy off-guard and getting hit by the ball. “you suggested to hit Akagi-san first, so I will take your request” Suna continued making Akagi groan while you and the other team let out an ‘ooh’.

“this is getting more interesting” you commented while Osamu hummed. He is very happy that his brother is getting teamed up by his other teammates.

“nice one, Suna!” Aran cheered while Atsumu tilted his head and sighed.

“I really feel like Suna hated me” Atsumu blurted making Osamu replied on the background.

“Your thoughts are correct! He does hates you” Osamu replied which Atsumu glared at his brother. Seeing Atsumu distracted with his brother, Suna gave a signal to Aran to throw now the ball and the boy did throw the ball, hitting Atsumu.

“why you– ow!” he was about to attack his brother but Atsumu got attacked by the ball, making the two boys he is playing with, scream with delight.

“NICE SHOT ARAN!”

“WAY TO GO ARAN!”

“NICE KILL”

You and his teammates applaud at his shot, while Aran and Suna high fived each other. Kita clapped at them like he was impressed with the teamwork his teammates did. Meanwhile, Atsumu glared at his twin brother while the gray headed boy smirked at his lost.

“YOU DISTRACTED ME, YOU SCUMBAG” Atsumu blamed his as he dashes towards his brother and catching yours and the team’s brother.

“well it’s not my fault that you get distracted easily” Osamu retorted making Atsumu growls at him. Meanwhile, you and team, who’s already used with how the twins fight, didn’t even budge to stop them because you guys know that they’ll be just insult each other.

“oh, you’re growling now, what are you? A dog?” Osamu provokes his twin brother more. You guys watched them silently like you guys are watching drama on the tv, enjoying the twins fight.

“Do you guys want some popcorn?” you offered to them and they nodded jokingly. Sometimes, you guys let them fight each other but when the things heat up, you and Kita will mostly the first one to step in. But for now, you will just watch them do their childish fight.

“I would love that, y/n” Suna replied making you chuckled.

“why you dickhead!” Atsumu stepped closer to his brother while Osamu looks at him boringly.

“Yes, my dick has a head, does yours have one?” Osamu answered back.

“HEY! I’m older than you for minutes!” Atsumu remarked and pointing his index finger to his brother.

“Well then act like one!” Osamu replied back. The team chuckled at Osamu’s remark while Kita just shook his head like he is so done with the twins.

“You guys, stop chuckling” Kita warned you and the team which made you all quiet and look somewhere else.

“And you two, stop fighting” Kita stepped in between Atsumu and Osamu, making the two boys stepped back from each other.

“When will they come that you two will stop fighting each other” Kita said with a stern voiced as he looks at the twins.

“well if he could–“ Atsumu stopped midway from his sentence when Kita gave him warning look.

“The two of you, stop fighting, let’s just enjoy this day altogether and have fun” Kita told the twins while those two nodded quietly at their captain with a pout on their face. This whole scene was nothing new to your eyes and the whole team’s but it still amazed you all on how these two get easily controlled by Kita. That’s why you sometimes called Kita as the mom of the team just because on how could handle the two boys and made them shut up. After the small fight of the twins, you guys continued to play around on your backyard until it was time to go home.

————————————————————————☞

Today is the graduation of the third years, all of the team were at the gymnasium. The ceremony hasn’t started yet so you guys decided to meet up with Kita before it started. You guys waited for the third years to arrive on the gym, maintaining the silent, sometimes you Atsumu will talk but mostly everyone is quiet as they wait. Even though Kita had told you guys that they would be still there for the team, you guys can help but to sink it in that they will not be playing on the court again with the whole team.

Today is the day that reality hits you that this would be officially their last day being with you and you can’t help but feel sad. You wouldn’t be greeted by easy going Akagi, you wouldn’t anymore see the scary looking aura but has a soft personality Omimi. You wouldn’t ever hear Aran’s random dad jokes whenever you bumped on each other on the hallway or when they were on the break during training. Lastly, you wouldn’t hear those blunt yet wise remarks and advices from Kita every time the team are feeling doubtful. With those of realization, you can’t help but feel empty.

But on the brighter side, you feel proud and thankful with them, because they built this powerhouse team. Without them, this club wouldn’t be this stronger than ever. You’re proud of them as they would be chasing and be living their dreams. And you know that even though they are not around anymore, they will still be there to support the team.

Another minutes have passed of waiting when the gym door opened and the third years start entering. All of you gathered around the third years and congratulated them. The third years thanked you all and give the whole gym a last glance.

“I can’t believe this would be our last time stepping on this gym” Aran said as he looks around the gym.

“It feels like yesterday when I first stepped in here as a new recruitment of volleyball” Akagi reminisced while Omimi let out a hummed and Kita a silent yeah as their agreement. You can’t help but looked at them with a sad smile as you observe them.

“C’mon, let’s not be dramatic here and just think that you guys would just take one step up to achieve your dreams” Atsumu cheered his seniors up, shocking the whole team with his words.

“Wow, Atsumu coming from you” Suna commented making Atsumu crunched his nose.

“That’s his way to cheer his self-up when he feels sad” Osamu retorted making Atsumu glared at him. Atsumu opened his mouth to say something but Kita cleared his throat to warned the boy, making him shut his mouth again.

“Atsumu, you should be more mature, especially now that you’re the new captain” Akagi commented while Omimi hummed as an agreement. You can’t help but chuckled because of Omimi’s way of agreeing on things, you sure will miss his silent affirmation with what others will say.

“Yeah, you and Osamu should fight less and be a role model on your juniors now that you guys are seniors” Aran stated while the two just looked each other for a while then Atsumu let out a ‘tch’.

“Anyways, Atsumu, I believe you’ll be a great captain of this team. You guys should train well but at the same time take care of your health. Don’t depend on Y/n too much.” Kita said as he looks on each one of you. The team listens to their former captain attentively as they know this would be the last time, they would here these reminders from him.

“Atsumu and Osamu, don’t argue too much, don’t provoke each other” he reminded as he looked at the twins sternly.

“Don’t worry, Kita-san, if they ever started fighting, Y/n would be there to stop them” Suna said with a teasing tone on his voice as he smirks at you.

“Why me? I’m your manager not a referee!” you rebutted as you place your hands in the middle of your chest while Suna chuckled.

“You, Suna, stop provoking the twins to fight too and if they fight help y/n with stopping them” Kita scolded Suna making Atsumu smirk at the middle blocker. You and the other laughed at Suna’s reaction and on your thoughts, you are already teasing the boy when he got scolded by Kita.

“Anyways, we need to go now the ceremony will start any minutes now” Akagi said making your smile disappeared and this didn’t go unnoticed by Aran.

“C’mon, Y/n don’t be sad! Hear I have joke” Aran comforted you while the other boys quietly groaned when they he said he has a joke. You just nodded as a sign to continue what his joke is.

“here, why did a girl volleyball player lose his waitressing job?” he asked you, a smile was slowly growing on his face as he think of the joke.

“why?” you asked with a smile also growing on your face while the rest of the team just listened to his corny joke.

“because someone told her to serve the food” he answered as he let out a laugh on his own joke while you just chuckled and the rest of the teams looks at him with disbelief but they also had a smile on his funny.

“see you are smiling again” he stated when he saw you smile at his jokes.

“I know this day is quite sad but let’s look at the bright side! We could still visit you guys anyways” Aran said to you and you just nodded at him as an agreement.

“Well, we will get going now! See you when we could see you” Akagi bid a farewell and smiled at them. The other third years also bid their goodbyes before exiting the gym while you guys wave at them and told them to take care.

Another chapter has come to an end but this is also another chapter that they would be all facing together.

[aremiies]

❥ stop being so careless.

pairings: bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

warnings: slight swearing, a very short drabble, some very bad writing and some tooth rottening fluff for fluff-vember !

not my gif !

—

now, you see, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. he wasn’t supposed to end up liking her, that wasn’t in his plans at all. it happened during the usj incident . bakugou and kirishima began to attack kurogiri, thinking they’d be able to land a hit on the outlandish looking creature; alas, they failed, but before the students could even think about what else they could do, they were sent flying throughout the rest of the building; their screams and yells filling the atmosphere around them.

after landing on her back, quite hard might i add, y/n winced in pain as she looked around to see where she was, “this looks like the ruins zone...” she said in a hushed tone as she brought herself to stand.

“that’s because it is the ruins zone, dumbass.” another voice concurred.

y/n turned around and was met with two very familiar faces and distinct colored hair, thank the spirits. “kirishima, bakugou, you guys are here! wow, this makes things a lot better... okay, our main goal is to find a way to get back with the rest of the class.”

“well, we have bigger things to worry about right now, y/n...” kiri spoke up. after getting a good look around, the girl finally noticed the abundance of villains standing around the three of them, ready to attack.

“okay, it seems you’re right about that part... let’s just get this over with then.” y/n suggested as she got into a fighting stance. and with that, the three future heroes attacked the villains with out wasting another moment. throughout the entire battle, bakugou couldn’t help but to glance over to y/n whenever he got the chance. she was a very skilled fighter, but of course just like anyone else she would take a few hits here and there as well. seeing y/n get even the tiniest of bruises made bakugou feel some type of way. it wasn’t good, he didn’t like it. in fact, he hated seeing them on her; even when they would spar during classes, he hated there being even the slightest chance that he could accidentally hurt her. eventaully, the three teens had defeated the villains and had a chance to relax.

“great job, you guys,” y/n exclaimed, “you were so good !”

“says you, y/n! even when they landed a hit on you, you acted as if it was nothing!” kirishima praised.

bakugou’s head shot up at the mention of y/n getting hurt, “they landed a hit on you?! where?!” bakugou’s eyebrows furrowed as he grabbed her arm, beginning to search for wounds.

y/n began laughing trying to disguise her wince of pain as she pulled her arm away from the short tempered boy, “bakugou i’m fine! it was barely a hit, more like a slap. i barely felt it, stop worrying. we should probably get going though, we need to get back to the others.” she exited the building the three were in with kiri and bakugou staggering behind. kirishima looked at bakugou with a knowing face, bakugou making the red-haired boy swear to secrecy.

“okay, okay! i won’t say anything... to her at least, but, man mina would love to hear about this one.”

“shitty hair i swear to—“

two days later the class was back to normal— well, most of them were. mr.aizawa was still in the hospital and y/n was trying her best to act as if she was okay, though in reality she desperately needed something to numb the pain in her arms. she might’ve said the hits were light, but, boy was that a lie. everytime she moved her scars would rub against her shirt material which didn’t help the pain one bit. everyone was still somewhat recovering from the shock they experience during the usj incident, and y/n didn’t want her friends worrying about her. besides, she was fine, the scars would heal soon... right?

the students of 1-a sat at their desk talking to one another about who knows what. y/n and mina were laughing about a joke the girl had made about mineta and mina, unknowing about y/n’s wounded arms, slapped a hand on her shoulder in her own fit of laughter.

“ow!” y/n yelled out (much, much louder than intended i might add).

mina covered a hand over her mouth, “y/n, i’m sorry! i didn’t know i hit you that hard!”

“no, no it’s okay. it’s not your fault.” y/n sighed.

kirishima walked over to the two, kaminari and bakugou following suit, “are you guys okay?”

“yeah, i think i just hit y/n’s arm too hard. i think it might still be sore from the other day.” mina explained.

“do you need to be taken to recovery girl?” kaminari asked?

“i’ll take you.” bakugou volunteered without a second thought.

“no! guys, i’m alright. i’m just a bit sore is all.” y/n tried to lie.

“okay, recovery girl can heal that. come on, dumbass.” bakugou gently grabbed her hand and led her out the classroom before the girl could protest any further.

“bakugou, i promise you, i’m fine.”

“no you’re not. just shut up and let me take care of you— i mean it. let me take care of it.” he urged.

y/n smiled slightly at his words and his slightly pink tinted cheeks, “you want to take care of me?” she teased.

“shut up dumbass, just let me take you to recovery girl so she can make you feel better.” bakugou rolled his eyes.

the two eventaully made it to recovery girl’s office and explained to the precious old lady what was wrong.

“okay, dear,” recovery girl started, “take off your blazer for me so i can examine your arm.”

“oh uh, cant you do it with the blazer on...?” y/n chuckled nervously.

“no ma’am, i have to actually touch the skin the wound is on. are you uncomfortable with that?” recovery girl asked.

“no, no! it’s fine... i guess.” y/n slowly took her school blazer off, wincing with every movement her arms made. when she eventaully got it off,her arm was then exposed. littered in small cuts and bruises— as we mentioned earlier, the one thing bakugou couldn’t stand when it came to y/n.

“wh-! y/n, why didn’t you say anything’s about this!” he shouted.

“now, now, you two can talk about this later. let me do this before she gets all worked up. relax for me, would you?” recovery girl instructed the girl. she kissed y/n’s wounds and gave her a lollipop before she exited her office. y/n buttoned up her blazer as she and bakugou walked back towards the class room.

“you should’ve said something about your bruises, dummy.” bakugou mumbled.

“i know, and i’m sorry. i just didn’t want people to worry, because i’m sure they’re still all shocked about what happened, yknow? i know it’s stupid, but-“

“it’s not stupid. but, you really need to worry about yourself more. i don’t want to keep having to take you to recovery girl.” he shoved his hands in his pants pockets.

“why do you care so much? i hope this doesn’t sound rude, but i didn’t expect you to care about me as much as you do.” you explained carefully.

bakugou sighed and stopped walking. y/n looked at him with confusion apparent in her expression.

“bakugou?”

“you’re so careless, you know that? you’re my friend okay. of course i’m going to care about you. i don’t like seeing you hurt, i like seeing you with a smile on your face. i like seeing you laugh i... i— i like you.”

“what?”

“i said i like you, dumbass!” bakugou admitted, “i like you a lot and i-i don’t like to see you with bruises. you’re too worried about other people when you should be worried about yourself... even if that’s one of the reasons i like you... you’re really pretty and caring and your quirk is really strong...”

y/n was at a loss for words. bakugou of all people liked her? i mean, she had her suspicions, but she didn’t expect him to ACTUALLY like her. nonetheless, y/n smiled and walked towards the boy, taking his hand into hers, “i like you too, bakugou... why didn’t you say anything earlier? nevermind that, let’s go back to class, dummy.”

sorry if the end is a little awkward!! i couldn’t figure out how to end it !! thank you for reading !! <3

[smol-nevi]

I don't generally make this kind of thing a habit, but I think if you happen to be on the Crystal RP Discord, aka @crystal-rp-ffxiv, you should probably be aware of this kind of behavior, so here goes.

If you're on Crystal RP and the admin team decides they don't like you, you're going to be living under a microscope while they wait for you to mess up, if not bait you, probably while making up conspiracies about you as well. As for how I know this, I was a moderator for about a week's duration and saw it first-hand.

Unapologetically lengthy post. Receipts in the link above, long version below the cut.

From the first time I looked in the mod chat I knew something was wrong. I read backwards in the channel, thinking I'd acclimate myself and see what kind of rules precedents had been set and that sort of thing. I mostly just found out that they had it out for a particular member (at the time using the name Jericho) for not much reason. They'd spent a troubling amount of time over the past few months watching him and another member like vultures, believing them to be the same person and waiting for them to make some kind of mistake that would justify banning both of them...despite keeping different schedules, having different personalities and typing habits, and visibly being two different people. The admin team had come to the conclusion that Jericho was a troll who wanted to make them look bad, and anything he said or did was scrutinized to a ridiculous degree for evidence that would corroborate their belief.

Except none of the things they believed at all were true: he'd had a minor argument via DM with the head admin Benjimir Thursby's wife, Tessariel Aerlinn, who had made an overly broad statement about anime and Asian culture. Jericho had told her that overgeneralization about 'Asian culture' is potentially racist, and she became extremely angry, saying that because she's Asian, she can't be racist against Asians. After that, it seemed that Jericho was considered fair game for whatever retaliatory actions the two of them could justify.

Even a cursory glance at actual racism in Asia pokes Tessariel's statement entirely full of holes, and having personally read the conversation I didn't see anything actually inaccurate in his statement even if she believed it didn't apply to her. I asked what he had done that would merit such a response, because it felt very disproportionate to anything I'd ever seen him do publicly, and that was what I was told. The exchange via DMs had been screencapped and kept in a channel for evidence, and while I didn't get a copy of it, I did read it, and I said that I thought it sounded awfully one-sided and punitive and would have been much better as an actual conversation. I also expressed that I was concerned how much of the channel had been solely devoted to what was basically a witch hunt, considering that some of the server members had over the course of the past couple of months commented that the admins' behavior towards Jericho seemed biased.

I basically got a pat on the head and told that my opinion was "valued" but wrong. This would happen a lot over the course of the week.

Shit continued to escalate. Their favorite punching bag, who was acutely aware of the grudge by now and probably trying to be nice and discuss something that he thought they could all talk about, brought up some articles that stated that LOTRO might be having a graphical overhaul. This actually ended in him being put into some kind of time-out mute, because "everyone knows those articles are debunked already" despite them still being hosted on reputable games news sites. Back-channel, the admin consensus was that he was in fact trying to bait Benjimir and Tessariel into somehow looking stupid in public, because [paraphrasing] 'he knows how important LOTRO is to them.'

Benjimir in fact went off publicly about how he knows the dev team and they sent him 'personalized swag' for 'being himself' and that everyone should just listen to him because he's right. Someone else made a reasonable request for sources on statements that Benjimir made about the LOTRO improvements not happening, and they immediately became the team's private #2 punching bag.

The whole time I reiterated that this was really uncomfortable and I had serious concerns about the way they were handling Jericho. And as always I received a pat on the head and was told to not worry about it, there were really good reasons for it, really. He was 'bringing down the quality of discourse' on the server somehow. Benjimir decided that the only way he would unmute Jericho is if Jericho talked directly to him, and that Jericho tried to talk to any of the more level-headed members of the team first was taken as obvious evidence that he wanted to evade rules and create problems. I asked when we planned to unmute him, and Tessariel immediately jumped to the conclusion that he had messaged me, which wasn't incorrect but the way she worded it felt highly accusatory and I was beginning to feel that I was also in trouble somehow for not agreeing with the rest of the team.

Things came to a head quickly when I woke up and looked at the mod chat and they were having an animated conversation that started with Benjimir asking if it was 'bad that he was laughing at Jericho' and most of the rest of the team talking about how he was stupid, uninformed, a troll, etc. for the sin of having some misgivings about cryptocurrency, of all the things. One of the mods self-described their behavior as bullying. I said that this was extremely unprofessional and that I thought they should keep conversation to actual moderation matters, and if they had a personal disagreement with a server member they should handle it in a personal venue, not via official server moderation channels.

I was, for the final time, patted on the head, and told that this was not something they would consider, because the moderation team 'needs to be able to vent for their mental health' (never mind that the job was not stressful except for the rest of the team committing worse behavior than the server members) and that maybe I was in fact too sensitive for the job. Benjimir heavily implied that I had become too close to Jericho and was being manipulated, managed to misgender me somehow despite my having used solely male or neutral pronouns the entire time I'd been on the server, and after relating a story in which a couple of years ago a well-liked moderator left after having the same complaints as I did (which he saw nothing at all troubling about), suggested that I should be demoted to babysitting the lore channel.

So I took some time to collect receipts, which are linked at the top of the post, and told him where to shove it.

Since that time, things have actually somehow gotten worse on Crystal RP. Benjimir posted an entire page screed vaguely talking about "rampant negativity" that stated anyone with questions should DM him.

Upon DMing him with questions, Jericho was banned, the only reason given being that he was a 'poor fit' for the server in some vague way. I was immediately banned afterwards for calling out this decision as being driven by a personal vendetta in the feedback channel and let him know afterwards via DMs in no uncertain terms that I had logged everything I needed and would be building my case (and that he is an asshole). Jericho was reinstated, though I'm not sure what the conditions of his return were as that was after my ban and I didn't ask since I didn't want to stress him out further. Benjimir also reprimanded someone for discussing asexuality, stating in a DM to them that the conversation was somehow ERP related. I called him out on this via DM as well. Tessariel was not much later caught posting my last DMs to Benjimir in an entirely unrelated server, though she didn't include the part after that where I brought up his aphobia (during Pride Month, in a server with a rainbow icon no less). Benjimir for some reason decided to suddenly start following my FC's Tumblr well after our falling-out.

And as of today (6/24), Crystal RP now has seven pages of draconian rules, because it wasn't micromanaged hard enough before or something. Notably, a lot of these rules describe behaviors that they wanted to punish Jericho for but couldn't at the time justify, or that they'd like to punish me for but have nothing they can do to me. Or they exist to justify their own behavior, as now seen in the very beginning of the channel:

"This approach also provides our volunteers with leeway to act in good faith without the burden befitting a professional occupation."

"So we afford them the means to speak openly, vent, lament, candidly and yes, sometimes crassly and raw about everything and one."

Not only did they behave unprofessionally and shit-talk before, they have now encoded in the rules that this is acceptable and even good moderator behavior, because they saw someone else do it so it's fine (a lot of this wording is very similar to what I was told when I protested it). So rather than address anything I ever said past or present, Benjimir is choosing to double down and giving himself and his team explicit permission to be shitty, right in the opening paragraphs where you'd have expected a mission statement or at least some sort of welcome.

Which is about all you need to know about that server and its owners, in my estimation. I'd considered not even posting to Tumblr about it, but given that it's only getting worse, I think it should be generally known that this is how you can expect to potentially be treated.

[dastardlydandelion]

medium luci

ao3 link

content warnings: homophobia, comphet, child abuse, abusive relationships

It’s rare that Susan and Neil have the same weekday off. Neil typically works five days a week and she three or four, depending who’s on staff, being that she’s only part-time. But he’d had a dentist appointment midmorning so he’d taken today off and decided to make his hours up by volunteering for a double next week.

Susan doesn’t typically care to spend any extra time alone with her husband. They have so little to talk about these days, now that he doesn’t try to butter her up or feed her honey sweet lies as much as he used to. Now that Neil doesn’t care to talk much at all unless ranting or complaining about the various things he doesn’t like, his son’s style of dress, women who sit with their legs open, cab drivers who don’t speak English. Susan doesn’t even remember the last time Neil had to take a cab but he has strong opinions on them nonetheless, and the list goes on and on.

He thankfully hasn’t done much of that today, however. He’d parked himself in front of the television after coming home from his appointment and simply nodded when Susan announced she was going out to garden. She only comes inside when she hears the phone ring and by the time she’s walking up the back steps, Neil’s already answered it.

She watches his expression change as he converses with whomever’s on the other end, nervousness fluttering in her chest as his eyes widen, then harden.

“I’ll be right there,” Neil concludes as he hangs up, turning those hard eyes onto Susan. “That was the school.”

“Oh dear…what’s Billy done this time?”

“Not Billy.” Neil shakes his head and Susan’s heart drops with the realization her husband isn’t just irritated but seething, knuckles blanched as his hands ball into tight fists. “Maxine. Did you know the Sinclairs have a girl around her age?”

“N-No, I didn’t. I’m not very familiar with them, Neil.” Susan never had much luck getting close to anyone anymore, not in the least because of Neil himself.

“Apparently Maxine is,” he declares icily. “A teacher caught her and the Sinclair girl fornicating under the bleachers.”

Susan’s heart turns to stone and sinks into her stomach.

No.

Please, no.

Neil has very strong opinions about sexuality in general and homosexual conduct in particular, and Susan can practically feel the outrage radiating from him. It crackles in the air like the promise of a lightning storm. Neil’s fists are still clenched and his posture goes taut like it always does before he explodes.

“W-Well,” Susan begins, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

She hates herself for what she is going to say. She says it anyway.

“Well, you know where she learned that kind of b-behavior from, don’t you?”

Because if Neil is going to explode, Susan can’t stop him. But she hopes she can at least encourage the worst of it away from Max. She watches Neil’s eyes flicker and knows they’re both remembering the day they came home early from the short vacation they’d taken for their fifth anniversary, a girl and a boy sneaking out of Billy’s bedroom window, neither particularly clothed. She watches the angry bulge of the vein pulsing in his neck and knows they’re both thinking of that short young fellow with the skateboard who worked at the used car lot during the day and spent his time with Billy during the night.

“Yes, I know exactly where she learned it from. I’m picking both of them up and we’re all going to have a family discussion.”

“I should come with you.”

“No.” Neil holds up his hand. “Stay here, Susan. We’ll be back soon enough.”

Neil has gun powder in his gaze and she dares not argue. She lowers her head and steps aside when he walks past to fetch the truck keys from the hook. He stomps down the steps and slams the backdoor shut behind him.

Susan watches through the window as he gets into the truck and pulls out of the driveway, feeling dreadfully ill. She doesn’t mean what she’d said, of course. There are a number of behaviors that Max has picked up from Billy, but that isn’t one of them. If anyone is to blame, Susan supposes it’s herself for passing it along intrinsically.

She has her own secret desires locked away within the chambers of her heart. Desire she dares not confront for her own sanity, for her own safety. She’s never acted on her wants, always chose to play private games of hide and seek with them in her head instead, those insidiously innocent wishes of hers. Never spoken aloud let alone pursued those urges that flush hot beneath her skin when she finds her eyes drawn to other women’s lips, hips, breasts.  

Susan gave it to Max and unlike her, Max is brash and bold and brave. God save her, Max does what she wants to do and doesn’t care what other people think. Susan would admire her for it if it didn’t scare her to death.

Because Neil does care what other people think. He cares very much. And Susan’s seen him annoyed with Max in the past. She’s seen him frustrated with Max, displeased, exasperated. But never has she seen the silent stirring of a reign of rage to come where Max is concerned, never has she known that particular look in Neil’s eye to be directed Max’s way. She can only hope—

Oh, it’s such a despicable thing to hope for. Susan has poison in her soul, she swears she must. But Billy isn’t remotely hers and Max very much is.

* * * 

Susan doesn’t know if it was actually her remark that spurred Neil to turn the blame on Billy or if this was the conclusion he would’ve come to anyway. Neil often blames Max’s mishaps and mischiefs on Billy. Billy being the older sibling meant to lead by example. Billy being the older brother, meant to keep his younger sister out of trouble to begin with.

Her remark or Neil’s default thought process, in any case, it’s Billy he’s glaring at in the living room. Angrily dictates that Billy take off his shirt, belt in hand. Susan grabs a very pale Max’s shoulders and begins to usher her down the hall.

“Where are you taking Maxine?”

Susan freezes, mouth going dry.

Neil’s looking their way now, brow arched, stern and skeptical.

“I-I—“

“She isn’t going to learn if she doesn’t watch, Susan,” he declares with no room for argument. “Bring her back.”

Susan swallows, hands tightening on Max’s shoulders. Something dies inside her when she turns her daughter around. She buries it silently as she’s buried so many other pieces before and avoids Max’s eyes boring into her as she marches her back to the living room. Neil motions for them to sit on the couch, sunlight glinting off the metal buckle. Billy doesn’t bother to disguise his disdain, glaring murder, nostrils flaring like an ornery bovine. Susan suspects he’ll pay for this too.

“Your behavior today was beyond inappropriate, Maxine,” Neil tells her coldly. “Unnatural, disgusting, absolutely unacceptable.”

Max squirms next to Susan, hands tucking under her thighs. She is stone faced but this close, Susan can feel her shaking.

“Now, I know it’s not all your fault. Big Brother here’s taught you—“

“I didn’t teach her shit!” Billy cuts him off, sharp and acidic. “I told her to steer clear from Sinclair, this isn’t on me!”

Neil punches his son in the stomach with all the affect of swatting a fly, once, twice. Susan flinches. Billy’s gasping, breath knocked out of him. He staggers and Neil viciously shoves him to the floor.

“She saw you with that faggot’s tongue down your throat, don’t think I don’t know! I know you, I know the kind of shit you think you can get away with behind my back!” Neil roars like thunder. “Well, now it’s my turn to teach her a thing or two! Pay attention, Maxine!”

Max stiffens beside her. She opens her mouth to protest and Susan grabs her arm, sinking her nails in. Startled, Max's eyes dart to her. Susan gives a tiny shake of the head, urging her not to speak. Max bends her elbow like a chicken wing and jerks her arm out of Susan’s grasp. Ire flares in her gaze but she holds her tongue. She does not challenge Neil as he begins beating Billy with the belt.

Susan can’t watch. She lowers her eyes to the floor. She can see the movement in the shadows, Neil’s rapid whipping of the improvised weapon and Billy’s form jolting with the blows. Susan shuts her eyes to the shadows but she can still hear it, thick, hard leather striking bare flesh.

“Don’t turn away, Maxine,” Neil barks at some point between the sounds of violence.

Billy doesn’t cry out. Eventually it’s over. Susan raises her head and cannot bear more than a glance at her stepson braced on his hands and knee. The belt now rests at Neil’s side and still, her stomach is churning.

“If there is ever a repeat of the conduct you displayed today, there will be consequences. Is that understood, Maxine?”

Max looks to Susan. Her eyes are wavering. Then they glean whatever it is they were searching for from Susan’s and harden.

“Yes,” she mumbles.

“Yes, what?”

Max clears her throat.

“Yes, sir,” she corrects, louder and clearer.

“Both of you to your rooms,” he commands. “I want both of you to reflect on your actions until it’s time for dinner.”

“Yes, sir,” Billy answers this time, climbing to his feet in the corner of Susan’s eye. She remains on the couch as her daughter rises and plods down the hall, cheeks as red as the cherry atop a sundae. Flushed as red as the welts on Billy’s back that have Susan’s stomach in ropes even though she only spares a brief glance.

Neil sets the belt aside and plops down in his armchair. “Can you get me a beer, Susan?”

She nods and rises, quietly fetching one. Pops the tab and then passes it to him before she excuses herself. In times like this, Susan wants to leave more than anything. She wants to grab Max and take her far, far away. But she can’t imagine they would get anywhere, truly.

Neil controls the finances. Susan makes less money than he does and every cent she does earn inevitably winds up under Neil’s attentive purview. In a distant, ostensible kind of way Susan understands there are shelters for women in her situation. Shelters out there, somewhere…aren’t there? For her situation?

Neil hasn’t actually put his hands on her. Not yet. Not like what he just did to Billy. Hasn’t actually done so to Max, although the threat of that unfolded in the living room in a way that could not be more crystal clear. The threat alone feels like a fist to Susan, invisible fist clenched tight around her insides and squeezing so hard she's nauseous.  

Is the threat enough? Would Susan and Max be accepted on the basis of threats alone?

Provided she could ever find such a place to begin with. Susan doesn’t have the faintest clue of where to look for what feels more like a nebulous fantasy of a sanctuary than a tangible reality. A shimmering oasis in the desert. Even if she were to locate such a place, what if it were at full capacity?

What if she and Max got turned away?

That would mean choosing between being homeless or going back to Neil. Going back to Neil after a failed escape would certainly mean him making good on all those threats of his, the ones verbal and non. The examples explicit in his words and implicit in his actions. Above all, any failed escape would certainly ensure there would be no second escape.

Susan isn’t going anywhere. And neither is Max. The very notion is abstract and distorted, floating just out of reach in a gaussian blur of a wish. Their home isn’t a good home. But it is the home they have and so, Susan will simply have to do her best to make sure Max never does anything like this again. That Max never does anything to get Neil’s attention like that, nothing to stoke the coals always smoldering in his choleric soul. That as painful as it's sure to be, Max learns to keep certain parts of herself under lock and key.

When dinner is in the oven and Neil is engrossed in his program, Susan slips off to Max’s bedroom. She knocks quietly and lets herself in. Her throat knots up at the tear tracks on her daughter’s cheeks, far more gutting than the way she bristles as Susan steps closer, the sheer hurt in her eyes.

“What do you want?”

The same things as you, Susan thinks irresistibly. And I’d go after them too, if I didn’t know better.

“I’m sorry, Max.”

Max huffs and turns away. “Whatever.”

“I am.”

“No you’re not. You’re just like Neil, you think I’m disgusting,” Max spits, hiking her legs up on the bed and hugging her knees to her chest. “You think Billy’s disgusting too, you couldn’t even look at him.”

“No, I don’t…oh, Max.” Susan swallows and lowers herself to a sit beside her on the bed, gently placing a hand on her knee. She swallows her heartbreak when Max’s eyes flash as though the touch scalds her. “Neil and I disagree about many things. This is one of them.”

“Then why didn’t you say that?” The blaze in Max’s eyes dies down, voice softening to cinders. “Why didn’t you stop him?”

“Oh, he’s so much bigger than me, Max.” Susan sags with familiar defeat. “And I— I don’t think it’s wrong, you and this girl.”

“Lucy.”

“I’m sure Lucy is lovely,” leaves Susan’s lips, this fragile whisper she dares not tempt fate to speak above. “I could never think that you’re disgusting. But I’m just me, Max, and Neil is bigger, and the world…the world too, is so much bigger than I am. You can’t— never, ever in public.”

Max’s eyes widen. Susan shifts on the bed and moves her hands, finds both of Max’s and squeezes tight.

“You cannot be open with feelings like that. You can’t take girls to your school dances, you can’t kiss them where other people could see.”

Max lets out an angry growl even as her eyes well up.

“It’s not fair!”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not good enough!”

“I know.” She knows, oh, she knows, she’s never not choking on it.

Max chews her lip, scarlet and fuming. Susan halfway expects her daughter to headbutt her or holler right in her ear until she deafens. But after a moment it’s almost as if Max can decode all the things she cannot say because her hands twist under Susan’s and intertwine their fingers.